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genericpuff · 7 months

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The Mishandling of LO’s S3 Mi(n)season Hiatus - Part 3 2/2

ALRIGHT. THIS IS THE LAST PART. I MEAN IT THIS TIME.

I had completely forgotten how long the mi(n)season finale for S3 was, but I suppose it makes sense considering it was operating as the true cliffhanger before the 4 month break.

If you haven't read the first 3 parts of this episodic breakdown, please go check these ones out first:

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3 1/2

Alright, let's get this show on the road!

CAUTION: THIS IS PART 2 OF THE THIRD PART OF A 3 + 1 PART SERIES IN WHICH I WILL BE SPOILING MUCH OF EPISODES 251-253. THIS EPISODE CONTAINS TOPICS SURROUNDING SEXUAL ASSAULT. THIS WILL BE A LONG POST. BRACE YOURSELF.

We've gotten delusional Leuce. We've gotten erasure of the SA. We've gotten a complete bastardization of the original myths that this story got its claim to fame on. The dread has set in, and all I want to do is get off Mr Bones' Wild Ride. But we have one more stretch of mind-numbing track to go, because the reveal of Persephone starting winter was not the end, oh no. The true cliffhanger of this episode - upon which the fans and critics alike have sat on for 4 months - proves that when we think Rachel has gotten crazy enough in this circus she calls a "retelling", she manages to prove that yes, she can make things even crazier, and no, you will not have a good time.

Ironically, despite that opening, I actually have a lot less to say about this last part of Episode 253 than I did about the first part. Obviously there's no feasible way to top "Persephone causes winter", but this episode does come rather close in its absurdity. Ultimately, if these essays have proven anything, it's just how much Rachel retcons things, to such an extent now that she seems to be retconning or outright forgetting information that she established just a handful of episodes prior. You'll see what I mean here as we go along in this.

As soon as it's hinted at that Persephone has started winter, we cut away to Apollo. Because, as per LO tradition, we can't spend longer than 10-15 panels on a single scene.

Already this seems like... really odd framing.

This is Apollo. A character who has been a villain since basically the beginning of the comic, when he sexually assaulted Persephone. This is not something that's up for debate. This is not something that can be refuted, as much as the comic may try to erase it or twist it into something else.

And yet, the vibe I get from this is, "Misled but good-deep-down character being taken advantage of by a sinister being." This isn't the type of framing we should be seeing around a character like Apollo.

I mentioned it ages ago in my post about the SA erasure that it really feels like Rachel is slyly trying to make Apollo empathetic, from giving us an entire episode in his perspective to adding extra panels into the books to making Persephone weirdly reminiscent of feelings for Apollo that she never had.

One thing I also touch on in that post is how Apollo is framed against Zeus. Zeus is also a villain character for much of the series, and even after he's "redeemed", the fanbase still considers him largely to be an antagonistic force. So to have Apollo be trying to take down Zeus comes across as very "the enemy of my enemy is my friend" and I really don't like seeing that framing when it's regarding a rapist.

And this scene largely feels the same. It feels like Rachel's trying to sway the audience into believing Apollo is like Draco Malfoy - a misled boy who "didn't know any better" and was being manipulated by a greater evil. If you haven't guessed by now, that "greater evil" is Ouranos.

Why is it Ouranos? In my opinion (so take this with grains of salt) this is because they need to somehow "one up" Kronos and give Persephone and Hades a tangible force to fight against, to draw a clean line in the sand between "good" and "evil" so that we, the audience, will be forced to categorize Persephone and Hades as "good" and someone else as "evil".

But really, why Ouranos? We're told that he manipulated Gaia to use her powers in an attempt to create "hierarchy" (whatever the FUCK that means, I don't think Rachel really understands how societal hierarchies are created) but there's NOTHING to imply that he was tyrannical or "evil" in the same way that Kronos has been depicted. Rachel's basically submitting this whole plotline to "well it's in the prophecy" but there was NOTHING dictating that she had to try and write a "prophecy" storyline to begin with. So as a result, it feels very tacked on and it's hard to tell what the point is, it really just seems like Rachel watched too much Marvel one week and decided that Lore Olympus - a fantasy romance - needed a big bad.

And by extension it feels like Apollo is being used as a pawn in this dynamic. By making him subservient to an "evil" force, it means he can labelled as definitively "evil", and thus it gives Rachel a vehicle to have Apollo taken down - or even perhaps empathized with much like in the Draco Malfoy sense - without having to touch the SA plot that she set up and never resolved.

He was evil before, but he wasn't the kind of evil that Rachel could write around. Because she doesn't know how to write SA or give her female characters any sense of retribution or agency. We've seen that already with her robbing Demeter of winter and Persephone of her feelings regarding the SA. There was never going to be a chance in hell she was going to be able to write herself out of a plotline she's been procrastinating for 4+ years.

That said, this is just a vibe I get, so I'm not gonna speak on it much more. This is one of those "we're really not gonna know until the comic returns" situations.

Once again, Rachel's trying to make Apollo seem like a "master manipulator", but she's also trying to make him seem like he's the one being manipulated, but she's ALSO trying to write him as a big dumb idiot who literally can't grasp consent. Apollo has to be one of the most inconsistently written characters in the entire comic, and yes, that includes Persephone. Again, it just goes to show she hasn't been able to fully commit to the SA plotline because Apollo's motivations and intelligence levels change with each passing episode. Sometimes he's being nefarious and plotting to overthrow the King, other times he's literally asking a nymph if she'd be willing to cut her hair to look like Persephone. The comic can't choose and so we, the audience, can't tell why Apollo is even still here.

Again, this is SUCH bizarre framing. If we're to believe that Persephone has been "cursed" by no longer being able to create Spring, only Winter, then does that make Ouranos and Apollo the heroes here? Because Ouranos is right, if Persephone is causing winter, that's going to kill the mortals, which is the complete OPPOSITE of what she's trying to do. So what are we left with? A plotline where Apollo and Ouranos might actually have a point about how she rushed into a marriage with the King of the Underworld and sacrificed everything that gave her agency and power - both metaphorically and literally - in the process?

Again, this is why Rachel fundamentally misunderstands the original purpose of The Hymn to Demeter and how she's, by and large, made her retelling worse in an attempt to be "subversive". It puts the plot and character motivations in a place where it's hard to tell what the story is trying to say, I can understand if maybe Rachel's trying to write a conflict where Apollo uses this information to manipulate her, but it doesn't help that knowing EVERYTHING we know about the H x P relationship within the context of this comic, Ouranos has a point that Persephone's union with the King of the Dead is problematic. It might not be the same "problematic" that we're all thinking of, but it really just reinforces the criticisms of this relationship. Is the comic really asking us to say "fuck the human race, they're in love" ??? Because that's NOT what the point of the original myth was in the slightest and it's just a really weird place to put your audience in.

It's 4:45 AM right now as I'm typing this so my thoughts are a little scattered, but all this really feels like is an attempt on Rachel's part to create a new "big bad" for her to use as a distraction from the SA plot and to give Persephone a "flaw", but that "flaw" really only takes away the strength of another character.

Oh, and by the way? This whole "you need the fertility goddess" thing? THE COMIC HAS ALREADY TOLD US THIS WON'T WORK BECAUSE SHE HAS TO BE IN LOVE WITH APOLLO FOR HIM TO BE ABLE TO USE HER POWERS. SO RACHEL'S ALREADY WRITTEN HERSELF INTO A CORNER THAT SHE'LL EITHER HAVE TO SOLVE OR RETCON ENTIRELY. DO YOU SEE WHY THIS IS SO ABSURD???

This line is kind of jarring because we had the Kassandra prophecy at the beginning that talked about the herb, but the prophecy Ouranos is talking about is the one about the sons of kings overthrowing their fathers. I definitely forgot about that one for a hot second reading this, I didn't get how this sequence related to the poisonous plant thing because they're framed as completely separate prophecies. It's not like Kassandra said in her initial prophecy that this plant would be used to overthrow a King again, she just said that the plant still existed and Psyche figured it out on her own that Apollo was gonna use it on Zeus. IDK that's just something that bugged me (also again, why are they believing her prophecies when we literally just had it established an episode ago that no one believes her prophecies LMAO)

Because if it wasn't enough for LO to have one Evil Robot Jeff Bridges villain, it had to throw in another one for good measure. It's just a line of dads and grandpas going back centuries waiting for their turn in the ring with Persephone.

lmao I love this 'hint' at Apollo being the one to write the note from Hebe and leave the cupcake for Zeus. Like... duh? We already put that together as SOON as Psyche said gasp "Zeus!" and then it showed Zeus eating the cupcake while Psyche called him on the phone telling him Apollo was gonna try and harm him. This sequence of 'revealing what really happened' doesn't work here because we've already been told what happened.

Except we know he won't. There's no tension to this whatsoever.

That's Hebe by the way.

It's odd that Apollo is embracing this prophecy when he has a kid himself. He literally has a fully grown son in this comic. I guess Apollo forgot about that, just like Rachel.

And that's it. That's the midseason finale. Ouranos is the new twist villain and Apollo is... whatever the fuck Rachel plans on doing with him.

Now, this leads me to my original motivation to create this series of reviews. It spawned from a conversation we were having in the Discord, discussing what it must be like to be a free reader who hasn't paid for the FP episodes that are still behind a paywall. This is not standard for LO, it hasn't kept FP episodes behind paywalls in the past during long hiatuses like this. I can even prove this with screenshots from the Wayback Machine, during the last midseason hiatus:

(whoof, that rating has dropped. I know it doesn't seem like much but for a series with millions of readers, by law of averages it takes a LOT of poor ratings to pull that number down compared to a series that only has a few readers)

Point is, this is the first time Rachel/WT have done this. Now, I will make this perfectly clear, I don't think this was a decision that was purely on Rachel. WT controls much of the backend like paywall costs, release dates, etc. so I'm not gonna go pinning this on her.

However, I do think this is a completely bungled attempt at trying to get people to pay up. LO has been dropping in views steadily but surely since the midseason break for S2. It's not pulling in the peak numbers that it used to, while it does still pull in a lot more views and money than other series on the platform, it's nowhere near the juggernaut that it once was in terms of record-breaking numbers, and I think WT knows that. So this really comes across as a stunt to get readers to FP, assuming that people will HAVE to pay if they're left waiting for 4 months.

But here's the flaw in that logic - people are still going to have to wait 4 months anyways. Reading those 3 locked episodes, especially all at once, will still leave you in the same place as you were beforehand.

And it shows in the numbers that people aren't falling for the bait.

Again, 17k likes still isn't anything to sneeze at for a FP episode, but it's still just barely above the new average that LO has gained over the past two years. I remember a time when those like counts would be 30k+. And now, despite being on break 4 months with these episodes still locked behind a wall, it's barely able to scrap by its new average of roughly 14-15k, and that average is when episodes are actually updating.

Obviously like counts = / = viewcounts but when they fluctuate, we know that the views have to be as well by extension, at least to some extent, and that's still engagement that's dropped of in and of itself. And we can also see a rough look at how the views have dropped off through the comic's landing page. Now, it's hard to compare data because there was a time when WT actually didn't give follower/view counts on the landing page (this was also when the like count capped at 99k) but we can still see a downslide in growth very visibly in the view count, sub count, and most of all, the rating, which has been steadily dropping for years now.

August 2020:

May 2021:

November 2021:

March 2022 (don't get confused by the 995 million, this is where view count comes in):

September 2022:

March 2023:

Today (October 24th, 2023):

Again, there's no way to get a true clear picture of LO's stats beyond this surface level data, but it does show that LO is just not getting the rapid growth it used to. People are moving on from it. And while its view and sub count are steadily increasing (albeit slowly for a webtoon that gets as much marketing as it does) the average rating is going down. It's clear that the majority of LO's growth happened between 2018 and 2020, which would make sense as the series was still relatively new compared to how it's become old news today, and Webtoons experienced a boom in 2020 due to the COVID-19 lockdowns - a boom that they think still applies in the year 2023, judging by their attempts to import as many series onto the platform as possible and capitalize on an audience that just isn't there anymore.

All of this leads me to wonder - what's in it for free readers after all this? Because if you recall from where we started, the cliffhanger they started on was Hades - possessed by Kronos - attempting to strangle Persephone, a cliffhanger that was resolved within seconds for FastPass readers. If they don't FastPass after that, they'll be met with numerous reveals that don't even make sense for the plot as a whole (such as Leuce making up the text messages).

Again, I don't want to claim that this was a decision on Rachel's part, but it really seems like either she didn't plan this hiatus, or her inability to write naturally without the need for addictive-style formatting as a crutch made it so that the free readers would be given the worst midseason premiere ever.

And what are we, the FastPass readers, going to return to? There are still so many plot threads that have been left unresolved, multiple villains being setup, and as far as Webtoons and Rachel have revealed during NYCC, LO is supposed to end by the spring. That's 20-30 weeks TOPS, which isn't exactly a whole lot of wiggle room for a writer like Rachel who's chronically bad at pacing and getting to the point of the plots she's established.

I know there are so many readers right now anticipating the return of this comic, some of whom genuinely believe this comic is "better than ever" and others who are critical of it but hope that the comic will come back in a better state after the hiatus. But right now there's so much evidence to support the contrary - that LO is about to come back in as bad, if not worse, condition than it was in when it left.

And through all this, for a comic that's finally ending after 5 years, I have to ask - where is the hype? Why are Webtoons and Rachel keeping the finale of this comic behind closed doors? Where's the promotional art, the hinting at what's to come, the attempts to generate any semblance of excitement for the readers who are still left after clinging onto this ride for 5 years? Why were the fans themselves barred out of their own communities during the majority of the hiatus?

And that just leads me to an even more discouraging thought. This is not meant to accuse Rachel or make assumptions. It's simply a thought that I had while thinking about what the series could possibly pull upon its return, so please, take this with MOUNTAINS of salt. It's one thing I hadn't considered with the knowledge that LO will be returning with 3 episodes still behind a paywall, a 'buffer' in and of itself for Rachel to work off of.

Rachel only technically needs one episode ready for the release. Not three as she normally would if the episodes had been unlocked like in previous hiatuses. That's not including whatever buffer episodes she would need beyond the upload schedule, but she's proven to be chronically bad at maintaining a buffer as well since day one.

We haven't seen any promotional art. No hinting. No hyping beyond what's been seen for her "Rachel Smythe Presents" series.

With all that in mind, I have one question to leave this on:

Has Rachel even started working on Episode 254 yet?

#thank you for reading this very long essay series #it's 530 AM and i have to work at 2 PM #i've been listening to drakengard music on loop for 2 hours #these are troubling times #deadass i think the comic is gonna come back even worse than before #and i WILL be here to talk about it if and when it does #lore olympus critical #lo critical #anti lore olympus

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stargirlie25 · 4 months

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So know people are saying e/riel is confirmed because of times magazine....

If you are wondering what the magazine said about elriel it was

´´Maas has already announced that the next book she will publish is the sixth installment in ACOTAR, a highly-anticipated release that many fans suspect will flesh out the stories of Feyre's sister Elain and Azriel, just as A Court of Silver Flames did for Nesta and Cassian.´´

What Sarah has already confirmed is that the next book she publishes is in fact ACOTAR 6.

The fricking magazine (which is not SJM) that FANS suspect it could be Elain and Azriels stories. It has not been confirmed. The magazine is just saying what e/riels have been claiming for years.

E/riels proved to us they dont know how to read. Even if i was neutral i would be confused if people started saying this was a confirmation. Because it simply is not!

If you use that same reading skill while reading the ACOTAR series its no shock here that you are an E/riel.

Its just honestly what e/riels confirmed for us. They lack critical thinking,thought processes,and reading skills. I just know 99.999999% of them failed in English class.

Its good to know that E/riels approach the ACOTAR books with this mindset.

This does sound mean but they really need to tamper down their ego. At this point, its not even that. They literally have no idea what they are saying.

Stop spreading false information!

#pro gwynriel #gwynriel #anti elriel #elucien #pro gwyn #pro elain #acotar #pro elucien #anti e/riel #pro lucien

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thepictureofsdr · 10 months

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i think one of my favourite things about stalking jack the ripper is the well written way in which men influence audrey rose’s life and how that plays into her relationship with thomas

one of my favourite moments in the whole series is when she pulls the dagger out of the cane in ctd, and she says “thomas. my brilliant, cunning, prepared man.”

it’s the climax of HER series, and she’s fighting the final obstacle alone. there isn’t going to be some man who swoops in to save her and the day and fix everything, as it should be. but unlike so many other series that butcher the strong female trope, love and moments of weakness and relying on others are never seen as a bad thing. audrey so often saves the day, not because some some author has had a man do all the work and then pawn the victory on to the woman or because she’s some cold loner who refuses any sort of connection (which isn’t always a bad thing but something commonly criticized), but because she actively relies on people and eventually allows them in. throughout the whole series her mental impacts are acknowledged, she opens up to thomas, she relies on liza and daciana and ileana. and this is how the series is able to maintain an empowering tone despite its time period.

it’s through this willingness to let other people in that audrey is able to move through her worlds restrictions, and this is how the men in her life are written so well, (doing what they can in the context of the time they live in). from her uncle to her father, no man ever does anything for her. she’s simply given opportunities to prove herself (which are also huge privileges but we know how rare even that was in her time), to do what she’s always been able to do, but not always been able to have the stage to show it. in efh she acknowledges how her uncle and thomas have given her an opportunity, not just merely allowed her to be there on a whim but given her a way to prove its where she belongs, and given her their trust and faith in her skills.

and thats why i love that scene from ctd, its such a beautiful culmination of audrey rose and thomas’s relationship. its a blatant acknowledgment of how he learned to care for her in way that doesn’t smother her, how he actively learned and grew from their conflict in hpd. thomas doesn’t defeat the enemy for her, hell he isn’t even there, but he still finds a way to help her. he doesnt take over from her, doesnt tell her what to do, his love and care keep her up and give her what she needs to get things done on her own, a running theme in the series. the people she loves are consistently there for her, and give her the strength to get things done on her own. arguably the most beautiful symbol is the cane itself, how its existence is a reminder of thomas and it gives her strength, not because he’s there to take over for her, but because even a reminder of his love and support for her is enough to give her a boost to be successful in her own right

tl;dr i just really love how the men in the series don’t see women as fragile and in need of a saviour, but as capable people sometimes in need of a leg up or a shoulder to rely on

#i really hope this makes even a modicum of sense #sjtr #stalking jack the ripper #hunting prince dracula #escaping from houdini #capturing the devil #hpd #efh #ctd #kerri maniscalco #thomas cresswell #audrey rose #audrey rose wadsworth #cressworth

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starbylers · 11 months

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Honestly and truly, one thing that makes me so confident in Byler is the quality of most anti takes being absolutely horrendous. And I’m not talking about the childish hate, I mean when they actually try and make a critical point about the show.

The other day I saw a Mlvn say that Bylers apparently think Mike is being too ‘normal’ by dating El, and we are wrong because El actually ‘goes against societal norms’…because she grew up being abused in the lab…and because Will grew up ‘normally’ (was not abused in lab) Mike being with Will would actually be the choice that ‘traps him in normalcy’... And then I saw another one say that Mike dating El isn’t conformity because El is considered a ‘threat to society’...because of her powers. Like 😭😭😭

It just made me think…wow. You’re telling me this is the grasp the opposing side have on the themes of the show, how those themes influence the characters, and how that all interacts within the social context of the time period? El is a girl. Will and Mike are both boys. It’s the 80s. Obviously the situation is more complicated and nuanced than just those facts, but it is truly not that hard to understand where conformity might come into play.

Like society is not oppressing Mike because he decided to date a female superhero 💀 meanwhile him growing up in an extremely homophobic place and time period maybe possibly definitely could lead to suppression of his sexuality and dating someone of the opposite sex rather than his 1000x more compatible same-sex friend because society would deem that immoral and wrong. Also yes, El does deal with mental health difficulties stemming from her childhood and it certainly impacts how she moves through the world, but again…what societal conventions and rules is Mike rejecting/not conforming to by dating a girl who happens to struggle with childhood trauma? No-one who we come across in the series finds anything strange about these two dating, in fact their feelings are suspected/expected by their friends before they even get together.

It’s wild that they think the height of nonconformism in 1980s small town America is having made-up superpowers…when a gay man is literally right there…and them also implying that El being traumatised makes her like, 'not-normal enough’ for her and Mike’s relationship to be considered subversive or something…sure is an opinion! A really awful one!

It’s like they’re conflating conformity with ‘everyday normalness’, and using fantasy elements and dramatic plots within the show to prove how different from regular reality/life the Mlvn pairing is, rather than understanding conformity (the theme spelled out for us in the show) for its actual definition—behaviour in accordance with socially accepted conventions.

Just saying if you ever worry that you think too deeply into Byler evidence…just remember that at least you’re actually thinking. The “worst” Byler take will always be a million times more carefully thought-out than the “best” anti take.

#byler #anti mileven #I hope I worded this correctly #I just had to share because reading these things actually left me speechless like what do you meannnn

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maxphilippa · 11 months

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babe wake up new GKGG AU designs just dropped

I should have done these long time ago but my brain just doesn't want to cooperate ig

You can find some info of them under the "Read More"!:

Marshmallow: Marshmallow was an influencer back then, even before the show began. Unlike in canon (Canon Bow), her friendship with Knife and Mic is explicit, since Marsh was a part of their friend group and she got to know II thanks to Mic because of her fangirling about it. She quickly got interesed on the show. She's an young adult that is, and was pretty close with the current Green Gamers polycule + Taco. Marsh is sweet and kind, shy as well, but she does like to have fun and once she wants to prove herself, she's reckless, to the point where others could call her dumb. Cobs didn't want her getting in trouble/hurt for getting in the middle of one of the challenges, but once he got the call from ADAM, he ended up accepting Marsh's presence in the show and made her a contestant. Marshmallow is a pretty social person as the time passes and she doesn't give up easily. So when they got her inside of Idiotic Island she wanted to escape since it was terrible, and Cobs made sure she didn't by... telling her to not do that, that they would go out sooner than later and that he was truly sorry for it, that it was what the showrunners asked him to do. As weird as it sounded for Marsh, she didn't focus on that but the fact that she still wanted to escape. And she almost did but... they trapped her inside of the metal box to not let her out. But no one really knew that she was there. Her Feral Look isn't exactly feral, as she is full of adrenaline and physical pain. Her thing here are pillows instead of chairs.

Bow: Bow is an special case. Marsh and her were best friends back then when Marsh was alive. Bow was a very known musician, who was also recognized by her strong attitude and quirky personality of sorts. But she was a great violinist and knew how to play the piano just great. Marshmallow was a big fan of Bow's songs, and Bow was a big admirer of Marsh's work. They did some collabs as well, and everything was going just fine. Until Marsh just... started to drift away slowly. Bow didn't want to say anything since she didn't want to bother Marshmallow, but she did miss her friend. She started sending her messages but Marsh couldn't reply because of the show and eventually, the box. When Marshmallow's definitive death was announced, Bow wasn't able to process it. So she was in denial. She didn't believe it and didn't want to do it. But... it was true. She knew Marsh was gone. She just didn't want to say "bye" to her friend. Stuff happens and, well, she ends up dying thanks to S&P. Marsh does no longer remember her, but she's happy to be with her friend again.

Dough: He's both a mix of Canon Dough and Canon Apple. He's slow at understanding things and doesn't get a lot of stuff, but his heart is in a good place. He doesn't have a lot of friends so he loves and cares deeply for those who he has (Apple, for example), but he's not as energetic really. He has a good heart and tries to be there for Apple, but Apple has troubles opening up after all. He likes to play the piano and likes making songs time to time. Even if his memory is kind of shit, he does remember that way back then, he had an step sibling to who he showed how to play some instruments as well. He doesn't know what happened to her ever since she went away, and... well, there's not much he can do anyway. He's an splendid guy, just needs more critical thinking.

Apple: Apple is a smart girl. But she's not smart emotionally for the record. She has troubles with recognizing her own feelings at times and she feels awfully guilty for what happened with Marsh, and with what happened to Dough, since there was a distance made by Marsh's allucinations. She didn't end up on good terms with Dough after he got out, and was worried she messed up the friendship she had with him. She values her friends deeply and that shows with Taco too! Taco did everything to look after her!

Silver Spoon: Silver is Knife's brother here, most likely the younger sibling, so they most likely had different enviroments/ways to grow up and see the world. Meanwhile Knife threw himself into his studies and became a pretty smart scientist, Silver had a somewhat darker turn. He was similar to Canon Silver years ago that is, always sure of what he was doing and soft spoken (but not in the way Candle would be), and his main job was and is to help people spiritually. However, one of those jobs ended up terribly, and that led him to have another being inside of his body- The Inner Shine. So him being unstable wasn't helping since this creature was a treat to others and everything you know. But thankfully, Knife was there to help him on that, and was never scared towards The Inner Shine. That helped Silver to recover emotionally from his new situation of some sorts, but then, he had to work on himself to dominate this spirit. And he did. Once he reached peace within himself, he was able to control the spirit at his favor, and the spirit warns him about future events that may occur when he meditates. Nowdays, Silver is charming, dear and soft spoken in a way that actually calms others. He looks up to Knife, and wants to help everyone out, since he knows what it is to be helpless. The color of his quartz would be light blue + cyan instead of purple and pink. He does feel useless if he can't help others, since it's the thing he has been doing the most for years after all. Though Knife tries to cheer him up and say that Silver has to focus on himself instead of others sometimes, but it's still hard. He seems to have low self esteem in a way and self doubts too much. Other than that, he's a good friend and only uses his crystal when it is truly necessary.

Candle: Candle comes from a very high-class family, which means she always got what she wanted too. She's smart but in a way that most people don't like (Taco) and is too full of herself at times. This is mostly because she hasn't really made any "friends" in terms of relationships for most of her life, so she's too out of touch with that. She's sarcastic and likes to tease others, Taco specifically, but even then, unlike Silver in canon, she started to show more frequently that she actually does care about her fellow teammates and contestants. Her friends, to an extent. Mostly thanks to Silver that is. He became her spark in a way. She started to be kinder, in her own way, which would be "a dick but with good intentions". Though she's still full of herself.

But she generally does appreciate her friendships and alliances, she just sucks a lot at emotional stuff and is awkward towards it, but she still tries. However, when Silver was eliminated, she felt guilt. And that started to sink in for her. This is what she wanted, right? So why does she feel sad? That's because, as much as she joked about her not caring for her friends, as much as she could act like an asshole, she missed and loved them deeply. She wishes she could have said anything to Taco and Silver before they were eliminated. She wished she could apologize for the things she said. But now, she's completely alone.

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imfinereallyy · 1 year

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Am I a Taylor swift girlie? No. Cannot I not resist the swiftification of steddie because of this post? Also yes. This is for all the swifties and @harringtonisms who inspired this post.

“You know, there was a brief moment where I thought about proposing to Nancy.”

Eddie almost chokes on his beer, and Steve has to lean over to pat his back. Steve can’t help but feel a little bad for startling him.

“Excuse me, what?” Eddie turns his head to Steve, finally calmed down. Steve thinks the pool lights reflecting off his pale skin makes him look even prettier than usual. It feels unfair.

“Sorry, we’re talking about life and stuff, and it felt natural to bring it up!” Steve shrugs his shoulders, regretting saying anything in the first place.

“I was talking about how we should all move to Indy, and you thought to bring up how you almost proposed to your high school girlfriend at, what? 16?”

“17.”

“Jesus Christ.” Eddie wiped a hand down his face. “The longer we are friends, the more deeply unsettling things I learn about you. Just when I think there can’t be more, boom! You hit me with another thing, Stevie.”

Steve feels himself get prickly, “Hey man, no need to be a dick.”

Eddie’s face softens, “Sorry. Sorry. Took me by surprise. I am a little curious, though. If you’re…still willing to share.”

Steve takes in Eddie for a moment, debating whether to explain. He knows he can trust Eddie. He trusts him with his life, and, more importantly, the kids' lives, and he knows most of Steve’s secrets. And Steve looks at Eddie, like really looks at him, and knows that even though he will make fun of him, he won’t judge him.

Steve is starting to learn the difference.

“The summer between my junior and senior year, things with me and Nance started to turn sour. Right after the first round of the Upside Down, we broke up for like two weeks. I hadn’t known at the time, but I think it was because she was waiting for Jonathan to make a move.”

“Shit dude, that sucks.”

“It’s fine. Stupid high school love triangle. Felt like the end of the world at the time. The irony is not lost on me.” Steve pats around his pockets for his cigarettes. The one secret Eddie is privy to that Robin is not. He only does it when he is stressed or drinking, and now he is exposed to both.

Steve puts one in his mouth and lights up; he motions the pack to Eddie in offering. “Thanks, man.” Eddie takes the cigarette and leans into Steve, the motion familiar, almost routine. Like Eddie knows he shouldn’t bother to ask for the light, that Steve will do it for him.

Steve flicks the lighter open while Eddie cups his hands. Steve doesn’t move away when Eddie blows smoke in his face. Steve will take it. He wants desperately to take it directly from his lips, exhale the taste of menthol and Eddie’s tongue, but he can’t. So he’ll take this.

“So summer it turned sour?”

Steve clears his throat, leans back a little but doesn’t move away completely. He rests his elbows on his knees. “We got back together after those two weeks, and suddenly it was like Nancy was clinging to me. Well, in the most Nancy way possible, which isn’t much, but for her, it was a lot. It was like she needed to prove to herself she was making the right decisions. When summer came around, though, I think everything settled in for her. The Upside Down, Barb being dead, me being unfit for her.”

Steve takes a drag, “She started criticizing me a lot. Saying I wasn’t committed, telling me I’m unfocused. That I didn’t understand. That I was pushing things aside. It was a bit unfair of her, considering she didn’t really want to talk about things; she didn’t want to explain, she just wanted to do what she wanted. I mean, I can’t really blame her—her best friend died, and it was my fault—“

“Sweetheart,” Eddie tries to cut him off,

“Never mind, off-topic.” Steve waves his cigarette hand in the air. “Anyway, in the summer, I took that as she saw me not committed to her. That I wasn’t focused enough on her, and her wants. Which, in retrospect, probably was naive of me, but I was 17 and madly in love with her. So I thought about proposing. The thought maybe lasted a week, right before school started. I thought, ‘This will show her I care. That I am in this.’ It didn’t seem that crazy to me at the time. I mean my parents got married at 18, had me at 22. It wasn’t exactly out of the normal. I even bought a ring—“

Steve laughs manically for a moment, while Eddie stays silent.

“—which was insane of me. It wasn’t a nice ring, either. I had to use the money I saved from lifeguarding. Which wasn’t much, so it was a dainty little Diamond on a small band that I found in a pawnshop in Bloomington. But like I said, the idea only lasted about a week. Once school started, Nancy got really distant. And my parents came home, and I was reminded about why you shouldn’t get married at 18. So I just let the thought go, kind of. But I held on to the ring, because I think part of me still held on to the idea. And then the ‘bullshit’ incident happened, and well, you know the rest.”

“Jesus, Steve. I’m sorry.” Eddie’s cigarette is almost down to the filter, the ash building up at the end. He barely hit it the entire story.

“Not your fault, Eds. I think she was kind of, right anyway. We weren’t right for each other, and I was more worried about being normal, and moving on that I didn’t let her move on the way she needed. I wasn’t the best, even now. I get it. I…”

“What?” Eddie moves closer, their knees brushing against each other. Steve can’t look him in the eye. “What, Stevie?”

“I wouldn’t marry me either.”

Eddie takes in a sharp breath. The sound cuts through Steve so suddenly he wipes he head up to face Eddie.

When Steve’s eyes meet Eddie’s, he isn’t expecting the tears. He isn’t expecting the softness. He certainly isn’t expecting Eddie to cup Steve’s face with a tenderness he hasn’t known since he was a child. “You don’t really think that do you?”

Steve’s frustrated voice turns into a soft whisper. “Of course I do. Eddie, I wouldn’t want to stick around someone like me. I’m broken beyond repair, and the only thing I would have going for me is money, and it isn’t even mine. Like I said, the ring I bought isn’t even nice.”

“Show me it, trust me, if it’s anything like you, I bet it’s beautiful.”

Steve chokes back a sob, “I pawned it back, actually. Months ago, for Robin’s birthday. I bought her that chunky turquoise ring she wears on her pointer instead.”

Eddie laughs, a small wet one. Steve knows he’s thinking about how often Robin accidentally smacks people in the face with it, but adamantly refuses to take it off. “Good, Buckley deserves pretty things.”

“That’s why I keep telling her to take a shot at Nancy.”

Eddie gives a big laugh this time, his hands still clinging to Steve’s face. The laugh sends vibrations through Steve, making him feel warm and safe.

“That’ll happen, I guarantee it, but it will take ten years. Going to be some rom-com kind of story for them to get it together.” Eddie brushes the hair from Steve’s face. A thumb caresses his cheek. “Steve, I don’t think I’m the best person to unpack all of that. Truly I am a disaster of a human being when it comes to love. But I do know that anyone, and I mean anyone, would be lucky to have you. Nance didn’t see it—or maybe she did and knew she wasn’t right for you. I don’t know. But someday, someone will not just want to marry you, but need to. They are going to want to keep you forever and do their best to accomplish that.”

“I don’t have much, Eddie. I’m just an empty shell, with an empty wallet, going nowhere. Who would choose me?”

Eddie leans back, taking his hands away from Steve’s face. He doesn’t move very far, but he looks up at the sky and whispers, “Oh, Steve. You just don’t see how amazing you are. You don’t need anything for someone to want you.”

Steve doesn’t want to break whatever moment Eddie is having, so all he can manage is a simple, “Yea?”

Eddie looks back at Steve, really looks at him, and says,

“I’d marry you with paper rings.”

Steve breaks a little. In a good way, in a needed way. Like he is breaking himself open to see what’s inside. And inside is this unwavering love for a man who he calls one of his best friends. Steve isn’t sure what to say, really. Eddie’s unwavering stare says he understands. That he doesn’t have to say anything at all.

Steve grabs his empty beer bottle and peels off the label, and starts to roll it and twist it into a tiny circle. He grabs Eddie’s hand and puts the makeshift ring on his finger.

Steve brings their conjoined hands to his mouth and kisses the back of Eddie’s. “Me too.”

***

Sue me, the 10 minute version of All to Well is a masterpiece and it would be silly to not admit it.

also this is unedited…like I wrote this and ran. Thinking about doing another version with the quotes reverse because I have an idea.

#steddie #stranger things #taylor swift #i honestly don't know if I did this justice #but I hope you enjoy anyway #can't resist making these boys soft #Steve harrington #Eddie munson #hurt/comfort #happy ending

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blorbologist · 1 year

Text

Yawns, g'morning.

I'm thinking about Vaxleth and episode 51, as. Most of us are, really. Holy shit.

And I think Vax's divine nature played a role in how Ludinus was able to set and bait this trap. I don't think we'd have gotten this outcome if Vax was still a mortal Champion, like his sister. Furthermore, Keyleth’s position as Voice of the Tempest was also critical here.

Let me explain: let's say some other half of a ship could have fulfilled this orb critera. If we pretend that any Champion could do (I think they needed the divine aspect of Vax's unlife but play along here), why not bait the trap for Vex, or Pike, or Scanlan, or Yasha?

Beyond the 'Vax is practically an angel now and has orb properties' angle, I think part of it is the sheer... everything that is mortal. If Percy was captured Vex would have any number of solutions - send Trinket in, attack at range, Rogue it up, or do the sensible thing and bring in friends. The living are variable, you can't count on them to behave as you need.

Ludinus loathes gods and their servants: of course he'd expect them to be predictable - and he'd be right! Vax is not all Vax anymore (see Dalen's Closet and Tal’Dorei Reborn), he's a deathless shepherd and servant of the Raven Queen. Why would he think this through? He has no life to lose, only Keyleth’s to save. You don’t need to consider how to use a shield, you just do. People shape their plans around the steady expectations of gods, their almost immutable domains, and Vax is divine enough for that to apply to him. They'd know he would behave exactly as he did. It could be argued living!Vax would as well, and there are several songs and historical records about him, so worst came to worst Ludinus could hope that this is maintained. But that's an uncertainty, and not fitting for a centuries-long plan.

And now the second part: it had to be Keyleth. They couldn't have used Vex to draw him out, I don’t think, as much as it pains me. Either the story of Dalen's Closet was limited to the guests and any lil kids who heard the Ballad of Derrig or it proves the Champion cannot willingly approach his sister. It took a Wish for that.

Vex has had five kids, spent thirty years protecting Whitestone, and has her fingers in the financial goings on of all Tal’Dorei. By no means does she have a small impact on the world: her smallest taxation decisions could mean poverty or wealth for thousands! But many of her biggest impacts on the future, on destiny, have already come to pass. Her adventures in Vox Machina, the children she bore, the decades of decisions she's already made (I doubt she'd be on the council for even a few years without changing much of her sphere to her liking.)

Keyleth is the Voice of the Tempest. She will, hopefully, live almost two thousand years. Imagine all the lives she will impact in that time! Directly! The Matron must be so familiar with her strand of fate because it touches so many, many others!

Even if Vax, somehow, did not remember her. Even if he was a shell of himself. This is someone the Matron cannot let die before her time (hopefully a thousand plus years from now). This is one person she would have to bend the rules for and see saved, and there's just the man for the job. She would not allow intervention for Vex, or Percy, or those nieces and nephews Vax surely watches. Not Velora, not Scanlan, not Gilmore. Keyleth, with centuries of work to do in this world, with generations to guide, is too valuable.

What I'm saying is... literally no other ship could have pulled this off. None. This was built for Vaxleth, from its very bones. You could have, say, an AU where Vex is the Champion of Ravens (wink), and this would not be certain enough for Ludinus to bank on it. Very likely, but not assured (the Matron could refuse to intervene, or they could intervene in a less 'take me instead you lil red-storm shit' way, etc.).

Evil plans bank on the inevitable. Gravity, greed, time. Their love is inevitable, a law of nature.

It could not have been anyone else

#Vaxleth is! not one of my main ships.#EXCEPT for those dozen-ish episodes where Vax is a Revenant and the angst is top tier and OH BOY DOES THIS DELICER #deliver*#cr spoilers #critical role spoilers #critical role #critrole spoilers #vaxleth #vax'ildan #keyleth #keyleth of the air ashari #cr c3e51 #c3e51 #campaign 3 #vox machina #ludinus da'leth #cr meta

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allastoredeer · 3 months

Note

I just found some Hazbin Hotel leaks, pre-being pick up by A24 and, do you know we could have had an episode where Charlie meets all the Deadly Sins? We were absolutely robbed of a pretty good filler episodes before the big finale with heaven.

Here's link to the leaks: https://imgur.com/a/nCorcZq

In case the link doesn't work, you can also look at this tumblr post: https://www.tumblr.com/hellaverse-critical-confessions/727383242254204928/hello-the-pre-a24-leaks-anon-again-heres-link?source=share

I really hope they use some of this old concepts on the next season cause they seem quite funny and interesting. Those ideas could help flush the characters out a bit more and the worldbuilding. What do you think?

Me writing notes while reading the leaks:

OOOH HOO WE GOT SOME WONDERFUL CHARACTER INSIGHTS! Especially with Husk!

“Angel and Charlie drag Husk out to a carnival show to show him the not-so-sleazy side of life. This proves difficult with Husk being raised to know nothing but crime and no experience with innocent fun.”

Husk has no experience with innocent fun. He only knows the sleazy side of life T.T Also he has mob connections 👀That is good to know. I find that so, so interesting. It explains it grim outlook on life. Why he's hardly every smiling or having fun. I think one of the first times we actually see him smile is after fighting those shark demons with Angel Dust in "Masquerade."

Now that I'm thinking about it, he smiles a lot more after that. Or, at least from what I remember. I might need to rewatch the show (for the dozenth time, LMAO). But, that kind also goes to show how much this guy needs friends. Good relationships. Connections outside of crime, which is all he's known all his life.

I WANT HUSK TO HAVE PURE, DUMB FUN AND TO LAUGH AND SMILE AND IM SOBBING JUST THINKING ABOUT IT

Also love delving more into Vaggie too. How she's incredible responsible, but controlling. After reading through a few of the episode description about her, my personal headcanon/take is that she still has a bit of that "angels are superior" mindset in the way that when she challenges Maxine, she's quickly reminded of her own limits when she's defeated "very easily." It's like what Carmilla was saying in the show. The angels are arrogant in their fighting. They leave themselves open, they're brash, and uncoordinated because they're not used to fighting demons who can actually fight back.

As far as we've seen, all of their victims are regular demons. None of the Overlords. Well, except Carmilla that one time, and she'd taken down the Exorcists with relative ease because she knows how to fight, and she's powerful. Given that this is the first time an Exorcist has been killed, and the first time we hear about an Overlord being attacked during the Extermination, I assume not a lot of Exorcists come face to face with the Overlords.

So, this kind of brash arrogance still lingering in Vaggie, who see's a demon talking down to her and automatically challenges them to a fight, only to lose immediately. Then her falling back into her insecurities that if she's not able to protect/fight for something/someone, than she's useless (which is ANOTHER thing she's learned from her time as an Exorcist angel--if she's unable to fight for the cause, what use does she have?). It's like this double-edged sword, and I'm rahhhhhh I'm gnawing on it.

ALSO ALSO, getting not only one annual event held in Hell, but TWO! "Hells Weapons Exo," (which I like to think Vox co-hosts with Carmilla, as she is a weapons manufacturer, and Vox is the guy to go to if you're looking to sell/buy something. Also, Vox HAS to have a showmanship side of him. Like, a legitimate showy, entertainer side--which I also like to think is what brought him and Alastor together before their, uh, falling out.)

Their second event being "Challenge Day" where lower tiered demons can challenge higher tiered demons for control over souls? I interpreted this in two ways, 1) challenging a higher tiered demon for the souls they already own, or 2) challenging the person who owns your soul as a way to get it back - both of which I really like. It actually fits really well with some of the world-building I've been doing for the last few days, so I am eating it up.

ALSO THE FACT THAT THERE'S A ROYAL BALL HELD AFTER "CHALLENGE DAY." My RadioApple brain LATCHED onto that so quickly. Imagine Lucifer taking Alastor to the royal ball as his date T.T I wanna see them all dressed up fancy, and I want them to dance, and dsofslknjljblkjbj FUUUUUUCK

Thank you SO Much for sending me this! I am soaking up these lore pieces like a sponge.

It also mentions Angel and Charlie taking Husk to a carnival show, which makes me wonder if there are places like carnivals open in Pentagram City, or if it's similar to the traveling circus thing Blitz grew up in. Like, do hellborn demons who doing travelling circus/carnivals just go through all the rings, one-by-one, including the Pride Ring? That way the Sinners get to get in on it too? AH! I just love thinking about it.

Thank you thank you I am feasting so much right now.

(THIS ALSO MAKES ME SO UPSET ABOUT STUDIOS LIMITING SERIES DOWN TO 8-10 EPISODES A SEASON, WE COULD'VE GOTTEN SO MUCH CONTENT AND WORLD BUILDING IF THEY'D GIVEN VIVZIE AND HER TEAM A PROPER SEASON TO BUILD IT ALL UP AND GRRRRRRRR)

Oh, also, I just realized I didn't answer your original question about the Sins, GOD I wish we got that. I want to see Charlie interacting with all the Sins so badly. Though, I suppose with Amazon not really owning Hazbin Hotel, where all the Sin's have been showing up, I wonder if they'd be able to do an episode like at all.

I don't know. Things to think about.

But to sum up! Thank you so much for this! I know this answer kind of went on long LOL, but you have given me so much brain food and I am eternally grateful 🙏

#gnawing on this #eating it #ingesting it #injecting it directly into my veins #AH I WANT A FULL SEASON #GIMME 26 FULL EPISODES SO WE CAN GET PROPER WORLD BUILDING AND RELATIONSHIP GROWTH BETWEEN THE CHARACTERS #I want ALL the filler #All of it #Where's my beach episode???#I want the carnival #I want the Hell specific holidays and events #I want to no so much more about how Pentagram City works and the Overlords reltationship with the demon population and the souls they own #AMAZONG STOP BEING CHEAP LITTLE SHITS AND GIVE US A PROPER SEASON GRAAAAAAHHHHH #hazbin hotel #asks #anonymous #anon

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luffyvace · 5 months

Note

Hey! Can you do cute domestic headcanons with Kurapika and a female reader? 🥹 if ya feel like it <3

THANK YOU SO MUCH ANON THIS IS MY FIRST EVER REQUEST!!

(i wrote this three times and it crashed and deleted let’s try this again🧍‍♀️)

ENJOY!!

lets say this is during a time where he isn’t actively hunting the phantom troupe

also we’re going with where you guys are moved into a apartment together

for your safety he has security measures installed and teaches you how to fight if you don’t know how

if you do, great!! you two train together

especially if you know nen

that aside

kurapika’s love languages are:

acts of service

for this really he’s just a super helpful and motherly partner

feeling sluggish? give him your to do list he’ll do it all

feeling unwell? he’ll nurse you back to health

need to get this done but too busy? he’s got it

truly a caring lover

for quality time

he likes reading, shopping, cooking, cleaning, going on walks and cuddling with you

anything with you really

it is quality time after all

i feel he would also have a little bit of words of affirmation/praise in there

more so to you

”wow your so analytical and intelligent”

”your such a cheerful person, spreading happiness wherever you go”

”your so persistent towards your dreams….how admirable!”

or if you have impressive hobbies/talents or skills

”this only took you ____to learn?? your a genius y/n!”

”wow your self taught? your a natural!”

for your physical appearance he compliments your clothes and hair more than anything

not because he doesn’t love your beautiful eyes or sunny smile

but for example, when he saw melody, he didn’t see her as ugly or pretty

he just didn’t know she was a woman 😭

see what i mean? he just sees his girlfriend in a beautiful dress.

in his mind it’s less superficial

hope that makes sense

”you look stunning!”

“you did something new with your hair, i like it :)”

”is that dress new? it suits you y/n”

if you compliment him back he’ll be bashful about it

as for cooking

if your the better cook you make breakfast/dinner and he makes lunch

and vice versa

being the better cook comes with lots of praise 💖

he’s willing to learn more and is open to criticism if that’s the case

but if not abs he’s more skilled in this aspect he’ll teach you and give you tips

with cuddling you had to initiate it first

you came up to him while he was reading a book on the bed and snuggled up to him, laying your head in his chest and getting under the covers as he wrapped an arm around you, continuing to read

it gave him butterflies

he definitely likes to cuddle more often after that

sometimes even initiating it himself

he came up to you while you were watching tv on the couch and put his head on your lap/shoulder and you started to play with his hair

he also likes headpats

he gives you one and if you return the favor it makes him very happy ☀︎

bath time!!💗

he would be very nervous and shy about bathing together at first and makes sure your comfortable 1000 times

he doesn’t peak at you or look down

such a gentleman 🦋

if you want to add bath bombs or bubbles that’s fine by him as long as it’s noting messy

he’ll scrub your scalp and places that are hard for you to reach

would appreciate the same but doesn’t know how to ask

he does eventually after bathing together a couple times

“um..y/n? there’s this spot i can’t reach…could you get it for me?”

if you like to do makeup he would find it amusing to watch

ask to put some on him and you’ll be met with a polite refusal

although, ask for him to put it on you and he won’t decline

doesnt know much

knows a few basic things but gets some mixed up—it doesn’t look terrible tho

the result actually isn’t bad

eventually you meet his friends

killua isn’t all that interested in you, yourself- more so what type of person caught kurapika’s eye

unless you prove yourself to be cool right off the bat (liking chocolate robots or skateboarding)

leorio a simp 🧍‍♀️

may or may not “playfully” flirty with you. he cuts it out when kurapika straightens him out tho

he wouldn’t accept your offer even if you did flirt back- he’s too loyal to his buddy :)

gon is curious and the most interested in you

asks you all sorts of questions 😭💖

gon and killua can be a handful so i hope your patient, or at least not a hot headed person.

if they give you a headache kurapika sets them straight

he apologizes for the inconvenience in your own home

also gon and killua eat a lot-

but it’s fine because you send them grocery shopping which gives you some peace and quiet

that is until they come back with chocolate robots and snacks for dinner

so you and kurapika end up going shopping yourselves—leaving leorio in charge

which leads me to my next topic- shopping!!

kurapika is a responsible shopper, he stays on budget and doesn’t get distracted from the list

if you can do the same? great!!

if not you get stuck on cart duty

your job is to make sure no one steals the cart, put the items in the cart and..!

SCAN THE ITEMS!!🤩

if you want to ride in the cart he wouldn’t mind but would find it childish and a bit embarrassing

don’t forget you left leorio in charge..and gon and killua did NOT listen to him…😭

your house is a mess- they jumped on your bed, had a pillow fight, ate whatever snacks were left and went through all your stuff

“uhh- whoops!”

I REALLY HOPE U ENJOYED THESE ANON IT TOOK SO LONG TO GET OUT-

MY APOLOGIES FOR THE WAIT THANK YOU FOR BEING PATIENT AND MY FIRST REQUEST!! ♡♡

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mxdarling · 2 months

Text

["to jealousy, to being yours"]

•❅───✧❅✦❅✧───❅• •❅───✧❅✦❅✧───❅•

ೃ⁀➷: summary: five (5) times you thought nobara liked maki, and the one (1) time she proved you wrong.

ೃ⁀➷: word count: 5k (5,010)

ೃ⁀➷: reference/inspiration: pov: you're falling in love with someone you cant have

[author's note:] hii so um HAPPY (VERY BELATED) BIRTHDAY BESTIE<33 @wenmiyun lots of hugs and kisses mwah mwah /p PLSS I'M SO SORRY I HAVE TO GIFT YOU MY SHITTY WRITING AND ESPECIALLY THIS LATE, here's my attempt of writing for nobara, i never written for jjk before so spare me the harsh criticism on their personalities </3

[warnings:] lowercase, occ nobara + other jjk characs, angst, fluff, jealousy behavior (from reader), reader really is jealous of maki, cringe humour, reader writes in (not) a diary, cursing, kiss scene, nobara is taller than reader, they/them pronouns, reader wants to be beaten up by nobara (once).

[If there is anything else triggering here that I didn’t list in the warnings section, please tell me.]

[GN reader]

ⅰ. (when she found maki pretty).

["dear diary, how does one cope with the intense feeling of knowing your feelings aren't reciprocated and you want to crawl in a hole and die? because I really want to crawl in a hole and die?"]

["dear diary, I don't even have a diary; I'm just writing on a piece of paper and calling it a diary to look like I actually write stuff down when really I don't."]

["dear diary, I'm feeling like a piece of shit and really overthinking this, but i think i'm 100% going to get rejected and I'm 100% going to look like an absolute fool in front of her, and I'm going to ruin our friendship in the process while I watch her get together with maki :')"]

["dear diary, imagine not being able to afford a therapist and having to resort to taking to some—"]

the sound of pencil lead being snapped, it falls to the wooden floor and magically disappears within the color of the floor. "…fucck.." you whisper curses, knowing you have to go find a sharpener, sharpen your pencil, and go back to writing in your diary (a piece of paper). what's even better is that you don't even know where the hell you're going to find a sharpener anywhere in these grounds, plus the fact that it literally took you almost 30 minutes just to find a goddamn pencil to write with—sometimes you just really question your luck in life.

you lean back on the chair, putting down the pencil on the desk beside the piece of paper. the silence in the classroom wasn't helping the debate happening inside your head—whether it was worth it to try and find a sharpener or suffer by yourself by letting this extreme surge of sadness from inside of you till you cry to the point of exhaustion. you decided you weren't going to deal with another emotional toll today.

after 15 minutes of attempting to find a sharpener, you gave up, opting to just walk around outside to hopefully soothe your troubled mind. while walking, you happened to see yuji and nobara talking to each other. walking up to them, you were to say hello to them (especially to see her) before stopping your footsteps from going forward.

"do you find maki-san pretty?" head tilted, a child-like confusion is shown on yuji's face, facing towards the person in question, nobara.

intuitively, you hid behind a pillar to not be spotted by them. your ears are now caught in interest; you wanted—no, needed—to know her answer. your heart rate is picking up its pace, beating, and pounding so loudly in your chest that it almost feels like you're about to jump and escape into her arms. your smile couldn't be contained as it slowly grew and grew until it reached your ears, making you look like a fool in love (you very much are).

"hah? where did that question come from?" crossing her arms at her chest, taking a defensive stance to the question being thrown at her, she raises a brow at yuji's question. "just curious; you kind of look at maki differently, i guess?" with a convincingly straight face, yuji remains unbothered by the defensive stance nobara takes in response to his question, "so do you find-"

"of course I'd find maki-san pretty," she answered, very quick and brief, cutting yuji off before he could even finish his attempt at repeating the question, almost like she's certain—confident even in her answer, which she just told to yuji.

that answer alone was enough to make your wide smile turn into a frown in a matter of seconds. you felt like crying; you could feel your eyes tearing up. staying here and watching the two of them talk was only going to worsen your mood, so you walked away on slightly shaking legs. wiping the tears that have now appeared, you've lost the determination to find that goddamn sharpener.

"but what abou-"

"but.." nobara cuts off yuji again, though he doesn't seem to be bothered by it, sending blank stares as he waits for her to continue on. nobara finishes, in a hushed and quiet tone, "(name) is definitely the prettiest."

ⅱ. (when she had fighting sessions with maki)

you were on edge, high on anticipation, feeling the sweat in your palms build up as you sit at the end of your seat, watching from the sidelines as nobara and maki practice fighting each other to pass the time. you silently cheered on for nobara with absolute bias; despite the winner of this fighting match being as clear as day (it's maki), you still cheered on for nobara, for her.

the way she moved and dodged every attack maki made towards her, the way she gripped very tightly onto her weapon in hand, every swift and duck she did, every twist and turn her body did—she somehow made all of them so goddamn alluring. your eyes were stuck to her like glue, watching her every move just like maki except not out of caution and with the intent to defeat her but because of how breathless you were from watching from afar. her scrunched-up face when she struggles, those displays of frustration and smug grins when she's trying to disguise her pain—all these things about her are what made you drawn to her. even when everything else around you is hectic and chaotic, your eyes will search and search till they land on her. somehow, in some way, your eyes always manage to find her.

maki-san was lucky, you thought as your eyes continued to be stuck on nobara, slowly blurring out the rest of the fight scene and just focusing on her and her alone. she gets a front-row view of nobara, gets to hang out with her, and has the honor of being someone she admires and someone she respects. maki-san doesn't know how lucky she is, you thought again, this time feeling more envy—perhaps even showing it on your face with how much it boils inside of you. controlling your facial expressions when you finally snapped out of that jealousy haze you were momentarily in, remembering how you got caught making a face around maki as she got you to snap out by asking you directly if there was something on her face. you didn't want to be caught again by her suspicious gaze. who knows what she'll do when she gets so pissed that she starts beating you up?

if you were being honest, you'd much rather prefer nobara beating you up; if the roles of the fight were reversed and you were in the fight instead of maki-san, you would be in paradise. multiple times already have you been utterly bested in a fight against nobara and every single time she would have that victory smirk plastered on her face, it never failed to set you in a frenzy state.

"haah, i wasn't even close," nobara said in defeat as she sat on the grass, exhausted. taking heavy and deep breaths, the rise and fall of her chest prove the amount of air the fight took out of her.

"heh, you did better than last time; i'll say that," maki says as she extends her hand towards the tired nobara, offering to help her get back on her feet.

taking the help, she reached for maki's hand, and upon contact, maki pulled her back up. when the two locked eyes, there's a new-found twinkle in nobara's eyes, seeing as maki just complimented her. "wah!? really, maki-san!?"

perhaps you were in a daze for far too long, for the fighting match had already ended with maki-san being the victor, of course. you stared at them from a distance as they continued to converse with one another. you could feel your face contort into an expression—you're not sure what kind of expression you were making exactly. though you couldn't hear their conversation, you could see their expressions and faces change as the talk between them went on. they looked like they're having a lot of fun, you thought, especially her; the thought persists to drill into your brain. feeling sick in your stomach, you stood up from your seat and walked off, not wanting to look at the scene of them happily talking any longer. maybe writing in that diary (piece of paper) will cheer you up.

"did you do better because they were watching?" maki raised an eyebrow at nobara, smirking slightly as she watched the ginger-haired girl get flustered by her question.

"h-how did you-"

"it's not rocket science; it's more clear than the curses i see without my glasses," maki commented bluntly while also cutting nobara mid-sentence. although what she said was true, it was a blow to nobara's pride as she was doing everything she didn't want to do: being obvious about how she feels towards you.

ⅲ. (when she smiled at maki and maki smiled at her back)

gojo satoru, your sensei, had a plan for all the first years and second years to go to the beach this sunday, saying how it's a good time to take a break and relax from our student responsibilities and enjoy our youth, or something along those lines and while most of them were reluctant to go (because it was gojo sensei's idea, you could never trust what he's planning about, plus he is a moron) somehow—and miraculously so, managed to convince everyone, including you, to join in on the trip.

contrary to your initial expectations about the trip, it's pretty fun (good job sensei!), for the first time in quite a while, you felt relaxed. something you haven't felt in what, weeks? months? in you convince yourself enough you might even believe it has been years since you've felt the tension leave your body. not only was the view of the beautiful sunset amazing but everything else around you too. the cool wind kissing your face as your hair flows in the air, the splashing of waves against the shore, the distant noise of birds chirping as they fly above you, the loud laughter of your upperclassmen and friends as they have fun chasing each other in the sand. this was pure bliss.

getting bored of the sunset view you turned your head to face your upperclassmen and friends doing their usual antics onto each other, gaining a small smile and a short-lived laugh out of you. as your eyes start to drift away from the sight of your friends, it naturally searches for nobara, for her. once it does finds her, there's a split second of your eyes widening in joy before returning back to your neutral face as you notice who she's with, maki, again. you turn your head away to try and be subtle but still keep an eye on them, from your peripheral vision you could see nobara sending maki a smile and maki sends her a small smile in return, they look happy together, you thought— sometimes you wish that was you instead, standing by her side, smiling and happily by her side. deep down you know that will never happen.

while you weren't looking, nobara took (not so) tiny and small glances at your direction, the view she had of your side profile was perfect, the effect of the sunset on you made a smile on her face, realizing how beautiful you were and all the little facial features you had she hasn't noticed yet. she would stare at you for hours and hours on end, for seeing your face was already a miracle for her.

ⅳ. (when she looks for matching bracelets with maki)

the bustling city outside the borders of tokyo jujutsu high wasn't the kind of environment you would choose to spend your free time in; you'd much prefer staying inside your dorm and sleeping or playing games on your phone, but you were invited by nobara herself (and being the desperate fool you are, you would take any chances and opportunities to spend some quality time with her). you're currently waiting in front of some cafe, sitting on one of their outside tables and chairs, for nobara and maki to arrive.

sure, you weren't too happy that maki would be accompanying you two (you deeply and desperately wished it was just you two hours prior; does the world really hate you that much?) but you weren't going to let that fact bother you. no, you weren't. maki-san is a great person, a great friend of nobara, and someone she admires. you just want to control your jealousy around her. mentally prepare talking to yourself as you await their arrival. you pray that you don't appear weird or crazy with how sometimes you accidentally slip out curses out of your mouth. you don't need to make a fool of yourself this early in the day.

minutes have passed, and you could see two familiar silhouettes appearing in your line of sight, walking towards the cafe you're waiting at. you start waving at them to show you were already here, and they wave back as their figures slowly get clearer and bigger in your line of sight. "wow.. you look great, (name)!" your eyes widen at nobara's positive comment on your outfit; it wasn't anything special, just the clothes you usually wear when you go out, except with a little more style. there's no way you're going to underdress when she's going to show up. "heh.. thanks! you look great too! and- maki-san as well!" you can feel your hands sweat a little, giving out a nervous smile. you compliment her back (you wanted to say more) while also not forgetting to mention maki as well. just so you don't seem rude and impolite.

maki hummed in acknowledgement of your comment. "you're not bad yourself, (name)," she says. you know maki isn't one to sugarcoat, so it was good to be affirmed that you didn't look bad.

"now, which store should we check out first?"

hours have passed, and the three of you have gone into at least three stores, which felt like a blast to you. never has walking around big malls and looking through hundreds of different kinds and sets of clothing been this fun and exciting. bags, and bags have filled the majority of your hands. you three walked together, chatting along while trying to look for more stores to shop at. finally settling on a small shop down the street that sells handmade bracelets.

"this one suits you, maki-san!" nobara exclaimed, giving the bracelet to maki for her to try on, and when maki put the bracelet on, her eyes beamed as she said something about finding more bracelets to buy for the three of you guys.

as you watched them pick out bracelets from the ones displayed, you stared at them from a distance. watching them closely, not even caring to be subtle about your staring as you feel a certain familiar feeling start boiling up inside you. even then, you continued to watch them, your hands no longer picking up bracelets to try on as they remained still by your side. they look so nice together. though, as you know, that was intended to be sarcasm, the enviousness' grew and grew by milliseconds, not just towards maki but to everything. why was it always maki-san with her? why is it that she gets to be with her the most? why couldn't maki-san be replaced by you? why couldn't that be you?

"how about you, (name)? did you find one you like?" nobara's voice pulls you out of your daze. she was now staring straight at you, causing you to crumble inside within seconds. the jealousy and envy feeling inside faded as she had you now in a more giddy state. you swallowed a lump down your throat to hopefully increase your chances of not sounding like a nervous wreck.

"uh- sorry, haven't found one yet.. plus i need to go.." you try to politely leave, seeing as you might just ruin the whole hangout if your jealousy gets in the way. better to just leave then to cause trouble for everyone else. "you're leaving already?" nobara raised an eyebrow at your mention of departure. not that she was surprised, as she knew your energy levels were different compared to hers; it was just that this was way too early for you to leave, usually whenever you guys hang out.

"yeah.. bye!"

"..see ya (name)!"

rushing to leave your footsteps fasten as you basically speed walk away from them, without saying a word, you left. not even looking back once.

"you think (name) will like this bracelet?" holding up a purple color scheme bead bracelet between her fingers, she inspects it—almost like she's imagining how it would look on your wrist. "or would they like this one better?" she said, holding up another bead bracelet in her other hand between her fingers; this time it was a blue color scheme. giving the bracelet the same look she gave it with the other one.

"i think they would like anything you give to them," maki replied, rather sure of her words. while she doesn't know the nature of how deep your relationship is with nobara, she can tell it was a close bond. "..you think so?" whispering, her orange gaze softens as she eyes the bracelets in two of her hands. maki observes the girl; the aura around her feels tender, like she got dragged into feeling such a sentimental scene. "you know, if you can't decide, you can just buy both." just then, a light bulb lit up inside nobara's head.

she did, in fact, buy both bracelets; of course, both bracelets had a pair.

ⅴ. (when she said she loved maki)

"i love you."

that was the last nail hammered on the coffin, and god, does it fucking hurt so much? it felt like your whole heart just died, got shot where it hurt the most, and bled and bled till nothing was left behind. your heart bled for nothing; it loved for nothing; you hoped and prayed for nothing. this was the upcoming downfall you warned yourself about over and over again, yet you still fell for it. you still fell for the false hopes you deluded yourself into having, making yourself think you had any slim chance of getting your feelings reciprocated. how stupid—how stupid of you to believe in anything.

the world around you blurs out: the sounds of people talking and chatting, the walking and running footsteps of hundreds and thousands of strangers, the chirping of birds, the engines of vehicles, and such driving on the road—it is all just one blurry background to you. one that your brain cannot process, one that your brain doesn't want to process, because every fiber and tissue in your being is wishing right now to be swallowed whole by a curse and crushed into countless pieces to the point of no recognition. you wish to be erased, removed, eradicated, disintegrated—anything that could make you disappear from this world—from her. just by hearing her name in your head makes you want to go fucking insane.

perhaps it was your fault for being so nosy and wanting to take a peek at the note that has been placed on nobara's desk. if only you weren't so desperate for any confirmation of her feelings, if only you stayed content with how things are with her, you wouldn't have to get hurt this badly. the letter that was on her desk was a love letter, and you could still remember how your heart picked up pace, giving you an anxious feeling in your gut after such a discovery. slowly and nervously opening up the folded letter, you instantly knew whose handwriting it was—it was nobara's. you read and read, then you put down the letter and walked away, trying to hold back your tears from falling out. you weren't even able to read the whole thing because you knew who it was for. it was for maki.

you hated how she talked about how pretty maki was—the prettiest even—how she loved those fighting sessions she had with her, how beautiful she looked as she watched the sunset go down, and how she bought matching bracelets thinking of her. every word written in the letter screamed maki, maki, maki, maki.. not you.

you locked yourself in your room, crashing forcefully onto the bed. you lay there motionless, almost like you're dead. well, perhaps you are dead; a part of you is gone, erased, eradicated. there's a certain numbness in your tongue yet an overwhelming sense of sadness in your head that you just can't get rid of.

["dear diary, I feel like shit; i look like shit; what's even the point? clearly, she doesn't like me; why am I still pursuing?"]

["dear diary, i'm so mad at myself; i want to scream so badly, but it's like there's this rock somewhere in my mouth stopping me from letting it all out—shit, shit, i'm cryin' now."]

suddenly, a knock on your door reaches your ears, pulling you out of your head. the energy to walk up and open the door is non-existent, as you just want to lay down and not get up. you only do so when you hear a familiar voice outside of your room.

"(name)? can we talk?" her voice is a bit muffled due to being on the other side of the door, but you could still hear her as clearly as day. she sounded concerned, which in turn made you concerned too. what did she want to talk about? did you do something wrong? did you accidentally make her mad? panic settles in, and questions start flooding in your mind. you got up from your bed and walked towards the door, opening just slightly to take a peek outside, and there she was, standing outside your room.

"hey.." you tried putting effort into your greeting, but it just came out very tired. making it up for the tired greeting, you gave a small smile. you could see from the small opening of the door that she gave a small smile back to you. you opened the door wide for her, letting her into your room so that the conversation between you two would remain private.

"you saw the letter...?" she looked in disbelief as she said that, the kind of look you would give to someone who you didn't want to see what they just saw. was the love letter for maki supposed to be a secret? "..you mean the letter for maki-san? yeah, but i didn't take a peek," you lied, somehow saying that lie was much easier to breathe at the moment. god, just mentioning her name in your mouth was enough to have you breakdown, but you needed to be strong; you needed to put up a front long enough for you to be alone and die from heartbreak.

"for maki-san? the letter is not for maki-san.." confusion was evident on her face; seeing her reaction made you confused as well. was the letter really not for maki-san? you thought. were you wrong about the letter being for maki-san? you thought again.

"..the letter was for you, (name)!"

"..what? wait! you like me!?"

"yes!"

you two stared at each other in shock as confusion faded away while the confession settled slowly in your mind. she likes you, not maki-san; she likes you and not maki-san; surely this might be a dream—no way she actually likes you back. there's just no way it's possible.

"i like you (name)," sounding more sure of herself, the slight furrowed of her eyebrows, her lips being in a straight line, her eyes showing fear, nervousness, and anticipation all in one, the trembling of her hands—you could see her waiting patiently for your answer. this was enough to tell you that this was real; her confession was real and sincere.

"..i like you too."

ⅰ. (when her lips touched yours, in uttermost passion)

she was so pretty up close—way too pretty, in fact—that she left you stunned—so stunned that you don't even realize really just how close she actually was. you can feel her breath on your lips and your cheeks heating up. enchanted by her and her beauty, you can no longer restrain yourself anymore. slowly sneaking your arms around her neck, resting them on her shoulders, you gently push her closer to you, all the while trying to hide your eagerness. noticing your behavior changed, she grins—grabbing your waist in her hands to keep you from potentially moving away from her; she doesn't want to let you go (not that you would do such a thing; clearly from your actions, you don't want to let her go either). inch by inch, little by little, the space between you two disappears as seconds pass by. just as you're about to get the luxury of kissing her, she diverts her head to the side of your head; instead of kissing your lips, she kisses underneath your ear instead.

surprised by her bold action, you let out a squeak, that scarlet color of red spreading through your cheeks and ears, shutting your eyes due to the embarrassment you feel—you can feel the soft touch her kisses emit on your skin. tingling every nerve in your nervous system, causing your whole body to tremble tremendously, and not being able to do anything but let her continue pressing gentle kisses underneath your ear is a blissful moment for you, one you don't want to end.

alas, you felt the loss of her lips on your skin, the creeping feeling of disappointment shown on your facials when you frowned when she pulled away. she notices the change in your mood and is flashing a smug expression back at your frown. "aww... what's wrong? you have quite the long face.." she teased, letting out a little laugh as she spoke. moving one of her hands from your waist to your cheek, she gently caressed it with her thumb, moving it slowly in different patterns and shapes. even as she teases you, that glint of tenderness in her eyes gives your heart a fast-pumping rhythm, just like the many times before she's made your heartbeat hasten.

"..i want to kiss you!" you quietly yet boldly declare right to her face, eyebrows furrowed and eyes slightly squinted to show how much you want—no, you need for her lips to be on yours. after so much restraint and yearning, you deserve at least this much. plus, with how close her lips are to you, how could you not want to kiss her?

you could see her eyes slightly widen at your demand, surprised by your unexpected newfound confidence and boldness, cheeks go slightly red after really processing what you've just said, and she can feel the breath in her throat go away as soon as she tries to speak. "l-like, right now!?" hating the way she stutters, especially in front of someone as pretty as you, the tremble of her lips tells you enough of what she's really feeling right now. "yes, if that's okay with you," you reply, not wanting to force her into something she didn't want to do.

"no! it's..it's okay."

"are you sure?"

"yes, i'm sure (name).."

"are you really sure..?"

"yes, i'm totally sure."

"...okay" you say, not necessarily believing her but still taking her word for it. unwrapping your arms around her neck, you put your grip on her uniform, pulling her even closer to you than before, making her feel your nervous breath on her lips and hers on yours. "..are you ready?" showing your uncertainty in her consent to let you kiss her. you wanted to be ultimately sure that she wanted this too and that this wasn't one-sided by any means possible. "always" she smiled, rather softly and not the smug kind you were expecting. she always had such a dominating aura in your eyes; the way she presented herself wherever she was and the confidence she carries always made your legs buckle and your heart throb.

you went on your tippy toes, making yourself slightly taller than your original height to help you close the gap between your lips better. in your opinion, the lack of space between you two would have made you shiver in distress had it been anyone else that was in her position; she was not anyone else; no, she was the exception. the only way you would let this close to you personally (and literally), she was very, very special indeed.

she must have grown impatient because, as soon as you moved just an inch towards her face, she moved her lips onto yours. her eyes were closed when she went in for the kiss; you, however, were in a state of shock, like time had frozen still, leaving you somewhat paralyzed in the palms of her hands, temporarily helpless as you finally reap what you've sowed for such a very long time. the kiss was nothing grand; the best way you could describe the kiss shared between you two was a peck on the lips. it was very clear that neither of you two had any sort of experience with romance, let alone intimacy. this was probably the first kiss you two were going to have, and god, it felt really good.

"............"

"...wow, that was so hot."

"yeah? really?"

"yeah, really hot, like really, really hot."

"..do you want another one?"

"..hell yeah"

you kissed her one last time, just to make sure none of this wasn't a dream—it wasn't; not one bit was a dream. her lips are reality, her hands touching your cheeks are reality, her being yours is reality, and you being hers is reality. all of this is reality, and goddamn, it feels so fucking good.

["dear diary, FUCK YOU, I HAVE A FUCKING GIRLFRIEND NOW!!"]

•❅───✧❅✦❅✧───❅• •❅───✧❅✦❅✧───❅•

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#jujustu kaisen #jjk #jujustu kaisen x reader #jjk x reader #jujustu kaisen nobara kugisaki #jjk nobara kugisaki #nobara kugisaki x reader #nobara x reader #⭒❃.✮:▹One-shot #gender neutral reader

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