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thesinglesjukebox · 5 months

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DRAKE FT. SEXYY RED & SZA - "RICH BABY DADDY"

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Okay, we'll admit it. The main reason we came back is that, if we didn't, we would've gone a year where we didn't cover a Drake single, and that just felt so wrong...

[4.81]

Daniel Montesinos-Donaghy: This should be the slammiest of all the dunks. Drake -- you know him, he's well past his peak but can still afford a banger when he puts his account to it! Sexyy Red -- the summer was hers! SZA, the biggest star out! Miami bass music! The title! All the names are on the poster, promising a good ass time, but we never get there. It's a summer blockbuster pushed to October for a reason, and is way too frigid to get this writer's ass moving. First kid on YouTube to upload a [BASS BOOSTED] edit moves this joint up a point, although the bass was the whole fuckin' point in the first place. [3]

Tim de Reuse: You can call it "a consequence of being overplayed" or "so many people copied him that now he sounds boring" or whatever. All I know is that trying to think of words to describe Drake in December of 2023 is like pulling teeth. It's standard atmospheric pressure -- it's a medium-sized red delicious apple -- it's a glass of tap water. I am listening as hard as I can, and I cannot hear anything. [3]

Andrew Karpan: The first thing I think about when I think about "Rich Baby Daddy" is the uncredited voice of Jessica Domingo, because it's literally the first thing on there. Processed to sound almost as if being sung behind a waterfall, Domingo's voice registers at the very volume and pitch of distance, a recurring gesture for voices like these in the Drake oeuvre. The best part about these songs is that they are always the sum total of their parts, so they can really be appreciated like this; something Drizzy himself realized a while back too, when he started sorting and rearranging them for curatorial effect. In a sea of wobbly fashionable Miami bass, the bars he picks up here from Sexyy Red don't feel out of place next to his own unrelated internal monologue, nor next to the patched-in haunted refrain from SZA, a miracle get that impresses because it is impressive. His otherwise unexplained deliberate misreading of a decade-old Florence + the Machine record that acts as a kind of perplexing coda eventually begins to make sense too, if you listen to it a few hundred times like I did. [9]

Katherine St Asaph: In three years we're going to learn that this was originally a SZA solo track that Drake hijacked for himself, like Rihanna's recording of "Consideration", right? I need to believe this so I can justify this score to myself. [5]

Michelle Myers: It's a dark truth that many of Drake's best songs involved vampirically swagger-jacking some up-and-coming rapper with local buzz or a viral track. Here, he attempts to harness Sexyy Red's gloriously blunt charisma and ends up utterly upstaged. Red lets herself soften against a skittery, femme club beat, her voice crackling warmly as she interpolates her own damn song. SZA sounds like a 1996 album-cut hidden gem sped up and resurrected by a Zoomer with 15 million TikTok followers. And then there's fucking Drake, increasingly bitter and out-of-touch, having long lost whatever soft-hearted charm I saw in him a decade ago. His verses are the musical equivalent of thirtysomething white ladies who write songs about skinny jeans and side-parts, embarrassing for all of us. [6]

Taylor Alatorre: A soundtrack to the approaching millennial midlife crisis that's so candid in its thirsty stabbing at relevance that I can't help but cheer for it, or feel sorry for it, or both. On a formal level, "Rich Baby Daddy" is nowhere near as elegant as its obvious predecessors, "In My Feelings" and "Nice for What," but after repeat listening, that messiness, that feeling of being pulled in several different directions at once, starts to feel like a deliberate choice. The guest stars, who were recruited with that in mind, go even further by alternately supporting and undermining Drake's intended displays of mastery over female sexuality. Sexyy Red pays her requisite homage unflinchingly, with a leisurely cadence more suited for a block party than a marquee album, while SZA disrupts the prebuilt Madonna-whore duality by crashing out of the gate with "I need a dick and conversation," all while sounding like she's being launched on a lily pad toward the heavens. The strip-club-in-a-water-level sonics add some emotional texture to what would otherwise be an explosion of untrimmed id, somewhat easing the transition into the stupid-on-paper "post-nut clarity" outro. As laughable as that concept may be, it evokes the yearning post-adolescence of "old Drake" as much as the Florence interpolation does, and just like Mr. Last Name Ever himself, I can't call myself immune to the periodic desire to go back, back to 2009. [8]

Ian Mathers: I know we're not predisposed to like Fucking Drake around here, but the processing on his chorus vocals is the most off-putting I've heard in a while. And not because they've cranked the Auto-Tune or whatever up too far -- I've heard and loved more pronounced examples of that -- but because they've somehow managed to produce the world's deepest whine. At least he's barely here, ceding most of the track to a high-effort-for-low-reward Sexyy Red performance. SZA is much better but barely shows up, which is probably the right move. And then Fucking Drake comes back to just "sing" Florence + the Machine for a bit! Every bit of shit we've ever talked was justified. [2]

Tara Hillegeist: Not even Drake sounding the most alive and enjoying-himself and hands down the funniest guest bars anyone's ever contributed to a Drake chorus can fully save this song from the depths of antipathy carved into my psyche by several years of Fucking Drake too many, but credit where it's due: I haven't left a track from Degrassi's own Jimmy Brooks feeling this genuinely entertained by what I just heard since "Started from the Bottom". And that's impressive, considering this is a track where I had to hear him mumble-singing soulfully about the emotional impact of post-nut clarity. [6]

Will Adams: So many elements working against this -- abrupt instrumental breaks; SZA's verse sounding like it was pasted on with Elmer's; left-field Florence interpolation; Drake in general -- but Sexyy Red's hook is indelible. Sometimes that's all you need. [6]

Crystal Leww: "Shake that ass for Drake, now shake that ass for me" are some of the funniest instructions ever doled out on a Drake song, which is an accomplishment if you consider how long Drake has been around. Drake is essential to this song if only for those lines. [6]

Aaron Bergstrom: I am willing to consider shaking my ass for Sexyy Red. Under no circumstances will I shake my ass for Drake. [3]

Nortey Dowuona: Drake is a bad rapper. No matter what his stans, Lil Yachty, DJ Wackademics, or me in 2013 will tell you, dude is an inescapably clumsy, artless witless hack whose only talent is in co-opting more complex and dedicated art to make it more comfy and accessible to people who would never sincerely engage with what he does. Kanye has been sadder and more earnest. Phonte has been more honest and clever. Lauryn Hill did his whole schtick so well both he and Kanye keep riding off her songs. The only thing he had is that he made music that women liked, that spoke to women in a way it could never do so for dorks like us. And now he's making flat, wan Earl Sweatshirt songs for people who hate Earl and people who hate women period. Sexyy Red's verse is clumsy too, but it's charming and earnest, and the SZA verse is entrancing, vivid and stunning. The line "I got a feeling this is more than what we both say" contains more genuine worry, fear and hope than this hack has done in his whole career. Please, pretty please, buy SOS on vinyl, buy a record player, learn a trade, call your mom and tell her you love her, tell her you are so grateful for staying with you and loving you. Hell, click off this website. Just do not play a song where the most heterosexual man on the face of the earth tries to convince you that he can teach you to -- [3]

Joshua Minsoo Kim: I've spent the past few months thinking about lovers' rock and pagode romântico through the lens of bell hooks' idea of "loving Blackness as political resistance." It was "Rich Baby Daddy" that made me start doing the same for Atlanta bass. Drake seems as good enough a launchpad for all this ruminating -- how often have I seen men refer to his "softer" songs as being "for the girls"? How much of romance is coded across gender lines? Of course, Drake is a manipulative shithead, and it's Sexyy Red who provides the most loving lyric we've heard in any of his songs: an ostensible call to embrace something approaching bisexuality. Too bad Drake opts for another beat-switch gimmick as an excuse to exert his fragile masculinity. Like, how are you gonna follow up, "Shake that ass for Drake, now shake that ass for me" with "You ain't even know how to suck it right." [5]

Brad Shoup: I know how this sounds, but this needed... more Drake? More of the first-verse Drake, anyway: skipping and bobbing, fully devoted on a threeway Miami bass ballad that has exhaling synths straight out of Cupid & Psyche 85. Hell yes, give me all you got. Instead, he dips until the beat switch gives him something properly sluggish. How do you fuck up a verse that interpolates Florence and uses the phrase "post-nut clarity"? He was positively panting earlier; now he's talking about sex like he's issuing a Q3 performance review. [5]

Alfred Soto: Drake drawls shit like "You ain't even know how to suck it right" like a PE coach in a locker room and disappears to let Sexyy Red shout undeserving orders. Nice life! [2]

Jacob Sujin Kuppermann: Here, Drake turns his complete inertness into an advantage: he does his best Sexyy Red impression here and sings some truly brain-dead riffs on Florence + the Machine, but otherwise abandons his own song in favor of his more interesting guests. It's an interesting move from a guy once known for using features to take over songs completely -- interesting more in the meta-pop context than in the song itself, of course, but a decade and a half in to our coverage of Fucking Drake, we ought to be finding new angles when we can. [5]

[Read, comment and vote on The Singles Jukebox ]

#drake #sexyy red #sza #music #music writing #music reviews #music criticism #the singles jukebox #Youtube

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sungbeam · 1 year

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XNONIE PRESENT (FINALLY) !!!

hi beam! college has been kicking my butt recently ☹️ idk how ppl do it but i'm dragging myself through the week right now LMAO

i don't see anything 😀 when i search up my asks 😀 so i unfortunately 😀 have a very vague 😀 idea of our last convo 😀

but i DO remember that you asked about dc!! i'm glad u asked b/c i'm actually trying to get into dc right now! i'm watching titans season 1 on hbo max, recently watched black adam, saw ww84, & saw the new batman movie a while ago! beast boy is kinda 😍💖💕💗💞 in titans HEHEHE- my favorite dc characters rn are him & starfire but i really wanna delve into the franchise more!! who are ur dc biases so far 🙏 (yes we'll be using kpop terminology for non-kpop fandoms from now on)

also i have NOT listened to 28 reasons by seulgi yet b/c of my schedule i feel like such a fake reveluv but i'm looking into that 😭 AND YES GIVE CRAVITY SOME LOVE ON PARTY ROCK <3 i'm taeyoung biased ever since i saw his tiktoks (all their tiktoks are iconic tbh they keep up w/ trends LOL)

HOW HAVE U BEEN BTW?? and are u excited for wakanda forever? i can't believe its coming so soon alreadyyyy 😟❗️

XNONIE !!! BFF !!! I'M SO SORRY FOR MY LATE REPLY I'VE JUST LACKED SO MUCH ENERGY TO EVEN REPLY TO ASKS THIS WEEK (´Д⊂ヽ but i was so excited to see u active and alive akcnekfnek idk how people do it either tbh :') like i felt that so hard when u said ur practically dragging urself thru the week like me too dude, me too 😔 LMAO SOMETHING IS UP W TUMBLR TAGS 🗿🗿🗿 as there always is tbh, but i went thru and found my latest response so i'll link it here BAHHAHA

AHHHH DC YESYES !!! i actually haven't watched the live action titans series yet :0 but i follow ryan potter on instagram so i've def seen some stuff for it !! he's so hot tho so true 😩😩😩 i kinda wish he was casted as nightwing/dick grayson cuz he would've made a really good one, but the current one i think fits as well :') ahh yes i actually am not the greatest fan of dc movies lmao just cuz their animated tv shows r just top notch and so much better imo but i did enjoy the first wonder woman and robert pattinson's the batman !! ooh my dc biases? it's prob the bat boys AHAHAHHA i'm writing an au inspired by them actually rn hehe so basically nightwing/dick grayson, red hood/jason todd, and red robin/tim drake, but i am also particularly fond of roy harper/speedy and robin/damian wayne @_@ they all make my mind go brrrr (wbu tho 👀👀)

AHHHHH WAKANDA FOREVER I HAVENT WATCHED IT YET I FEEL SO SAD ☹️☹️☹️ it's cuz college has also been kicking my ass and watching marvel movies is a thing my family does together and it's just not the same going to see it in theaters w anyone else :( so i've been holding back skcnekfn have u seen it tho :0 i'm also so very excited for quantumania !!! (ﾉ´∀｀*) IT LOOKS SO SO SO GOOD SKFNKENFKD I LOVE PAUL RUDD PLS GIVE THAT MAN AN OSCAR RN

okok i think i also was gonna bring up the fact that i wanted to write another mcu au for svt?? like ik we were talking abt the xmen au, but i was thinking abt making minghao scarlet witch and basically yn is like the one person who truly saw him and when he lost u, all hell broke loose (like in wandavision), and so it's like him recreating a life w u while his friends on the outside r trying to break him out of it before the stinky government folks do skcnwidn

#sungbeam strikes again #xnonie 💥

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the-witches-you-couldnt-burn · 3 years

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It started with a whisper

I originally wrote ‘Like I did with you’ as a one-shot but people wanted a sequel. This turned out to be waaaaay longer than expected (4.7k word count). Inspired by Everybody Talks by Neon Trees. I hope you lot enjoy!

Ao3

(Also this is Mari’s new outfit, all credits go to the original artist)

————

Two teens stood upon the balcony of a large banquet hall, exposed to the midsummer night air. The sky was a lilac blanket that hung over the Parisian buildings, speckled with glowing stars. The moon, with it’s crescent smile, beamed down of the young couple.

Hey, baby, won't you look my way?

Marinette’s eyes were closed as she rested her head upon his shoulder, relaxing after the night’s rapid escalation. Tonight she had arrived at the ball with the intent to be there for her friends, but somehow she found herself within the arms of Gotham’s (and probably Paris’) Ice Prince. She had overheard his nickname from the Gotham students, one of which being Jon, who was in the middle of mocking the young Wayne. She had never considered that nickname as suitable; sure he was temperamental & had a tendency to snap, but icey to the core? No.

I can be your new addiction

Damian was calm. For the first time in his life he felt like he could take a breath. His exhale was carried off by a small gust of wind, the bush over hanging the stone railing rustled. With his inhale, the scent of Marinette’s perfume became present once more. Mixed with the crisp night’s air, her usual scent of pastries was mixed with what could only be described as ambrosia. His phone vibrated within his pocket, it was never on volume due to the potential risk it caused during his heroic activities.

“Shit.” Notifications covered his screen, multiple tweets, Instagrams and Tiktoks in which he had been tagged in. But the alert came from his family’s private messaging chat. The whole thread was a shit storm, Grayson and Todd’s messages were completely capitalised (he learnt years ago this meant ‘to yell’ in writing form) and both had multiple ‘keyboard spasms’. Drake, like the thorough detective he is, had combed through the images and videos, investigating their validity. His honorary sisters had replied with ‘awwwww’(s) and ‘Omg we MUST meet this girl! I need to know how she tamed the demon!’. He could practically hear Brown’s shrill voice from across the ocean.

Hey, baby, what you gotta say?

No reply from his father or Alfred. The two of them were the only semblance of ‘normal’ paternal figures he had within his life, after the sham of a relationship he had previously held with his grandfather. Their silence unnerved him.

Marinette had noticed his attention had shifted to his phone, her own mobile was buzzing away within her baby pink purse. Messages, notifications of account tagging and comments galore. A sigh left her lips when she saw her parents seemed to be none the wiser. Good, she didn’t need to deal with future adoration for ‘The boy who swept our daughter off of her feet’ (or something along those lines).

Her cheeks regained some of the warmth they held before as she thought of her parent’s reaction. Scrolling through her Twitter she saw her friends had posted multiple images of the night’s events, majority being her shared dance.

Chloé Bourgeois @TheBestBourgeois

what kind of Disney shit is this? (Insert video of two teens dancing around an mostly empty dance floor.)

Alix Kubdel @Sk8trGirl

Replying to @TheBestBourgeois

I KNOW RIGHT?! THEY WERE FUCKING FLOATING!!!

All you're giving me is fiction

She was thankful that they hadn’t tagged her but she hadn’t been spared by others in attendance. Her post thread had blown up, thousands had commented and even more had viewed the evidence. There was no way she would come out of this unscathed.

“Has anyone been on Twitter today?” The blonde of the family asked as she walked into the dining room. Her eyes focused on her scrolling screen, brows furrowed in confusion. “Actually has anyone seen what’s happening on any of our socials?”

It was early in the afternoon and the family had recently returned home after a straining stakeout. The Joker had broken out of Arkham and the Batfam had to deal with his minions. Dick’s arm was in a sling (sprained from a grapple gone wrong), Jason was icing his hand, Alfred was stitching Bruce’s chest wounds while Tim and the girls escaped without severe injuries. All were still recuperating and finally able to recharge.

Alfred always enforced a strict ‘no devices at the dinner table’ rule; no matter how urgent it was, it could wait until after sustenance was consumed. Tim strongly opposed this, but there was no arguing with Agent A. This all surmises that probably no one had seen the crap storm on social media.

I'm a sorry sucker and this happens all the time

Bruce sighed, bringing his free arm up to rub his eyes. Tilting his head back to look at Steph, “Who was it this time?” Barbara quickly took out her phone to see what Stephanie was talking about, all the while glancing accusingly at Dick and Jason. Both of whom held up their arms (or in Dick’s case arm), declaring their innocence.

“It wasn’t fucking me!”

“Jason! Language!” Dick shot a glare at Jason and was met with one in return. “It wasn’t me either.”

“Then who-“ Bruce started before being cut off by his most rambunctious daughter.

I found out that everybody talks

Stephanie with a squeal, exclaimed that it was Damian. Visions of what the Wayne brat could have done flashed through the heads of everyone in the room. He had been sent overseas before the quarantines and lockdowns hit. During Damian’s first month in France he had been forced into online schooling and then finally when he got to go to in-person classes he hated it. Described the class as a kindergarten with petty and vindictive toddlers.

Had he broken someone’s arm? Was that person of such importance that it had spread over multiple social media platforms? France’s government had announced on June 15th, that teens were now being inoculated so him having COVID-19 was doubtful. Had he insulted the wrong person? Had he taken over the government? He certainly had the potential.

Everybody talks, everybody talks

What they saw stunned them, even Steph as she watched it for the 7th time. Damian Wayne was dancing. But not only that, he was dancing with a girl.

It started with a whisper

“What is this shit?”

No one verbally objected to Jason’s outburst but he was sent a harsh glare from Alfred, Dick and Bruce. Their focus soon returned to the images and videos before them. Babs’ and Steph’s phones were returned to them as the others ran to grab their own devices. They all met back at the table, comparing the posts and comparing their notes.

I can hear the chitchat

“There’s no way this can be real.”

“Jesus Tim,” Barbara rolls her eyes, “have you seen the amount of posts there are? You’d be an idiot to think otherwise.”

Take me to your love shack

“I’m with Tim, how do we know this isn’t some skit. I mean, Demon Spawn almost looks normal. That’s a matter of concern.” He almost dry heaved when he agreed with Tim. Damian couldn’t be capable of naturally exuding that amount of humanity unless there was something in it for him.

Mamas always gotta backtrack

“I was just saying Babs, that we should check the credibility of these images. For all we know they could be gorilla glued together and trying to get unstuck.” Tim cringed at his own reasoning, he really needed to either sleep (probably not going to happen anytime soon) or find his favourite coffee brand (which had been one of the first to vanish after the covid hoarders appeared).

When everybody talks back

Dick was too busy freaking out and spam messaging the youngest Wayne, to defend Damian’s humanity. The family saw this and followed suit, wanting to get information from the source.

Chat name: Alfred supremacy

BigBird: AHHHHHH DAMIAN!

BigBird: YOU LOOK SO CUTE!!!

BigBird: HAIFJDNDNFI

LittleWing: WTF HAPPENED DEMON SPAWN YOU LOOK ALMOST HUMAN

Babs: who knew the city of love would influence the brat

Blondie: they are so cuteeeeeee!

Blondie: We HAVE to meet her!

Silent-but-deadly: agreed.

Timbo: YO DEMON

Timbo: Apparently the videos are legit

Timbo: are you being blackmailed?

And it just devolved into more chaos from there, fueled by the fact that they saw Damian’s ‘Blood Son’ account appear online before vanishing once more. Dick shrieked, “I FOUND HER ACCOUNT!”

The family gathered around the eldest son, peering over his shoulder to view his iPhone 12max screen. They saw a young girl’s Instagram account. It was locked but they could see her profile pic, the girl had black hair and looked to be if Asian decent. They compared it to the videos but it was hard to see due to the hall’s lighting and the minimised facial features of the pfp. Alfred suggested that they search up her username and see who has tagged her, some might have other photos of her.

After research for awhile, the family began to get frustrated with lack of results.

Hey honey you could be my drug

You could be my new prescription

“Come on!” Jason complained, “What kind of teenage girl doesn’t post her life online?” He ignored the girls glares and went back to researching. How had the account by the name of ‘mariiiiinette’ to managed to prevent the entire Wayne clan from accessing it? Damn Instagram privacy settings. He groaned, dragging a hand down his face, “We are fucking stupid. Why don’t we just use the Bat-computer? It would be so much fucking easier.”

“It shouldn’t be used for civilian issues-“

Too much could be an overdose

“The girl could be a meta for all we know! We aren’t safe until we know who she is.” Jason points a finger at Tim, his paranoia flared up and even though he would never admit it, Jason would do anything to protect each member of his family (although Bruce is still debatable).

All this trash talk make me itching

Barbara and Tim took their usual positions as Oracle and Red Robin (who had been banned from patrol due to lack of sleep). The rest of the Batfam stood behind them either with arms crossed or still failing at researching.

Oh my my shit

“The account is owned by a girl called Marinette Dupian-Cheng. She is French-Chinese and her parents own a popular bakery. Also if it wasn’t already obvious, she goes to Coll��ge Françoise Dupont, aka Damian’s French school.” Tim begun informing his nosy family, “But this account has been inactive for the past 6 months, which is strange due to her frequent posting schedule before hand. It seems she probably has a second account and this is her old one.”

Everybody talks, everybody talks

“Not only that,” Barbara interrupted. “There are unopened messages from other accounts that accuse her of being a bully. There is a whole Facebook page about this girl and how she has been hurting her old friends, but neither side seems reliable. The so called victims seem to be twisting the truth but there is barely any information about Marinette so we can’t disprove it either.”

“Read out some of the messages.” Bruce took a cup of coffee from Alfred and sipped it.

The main screen of the bat computer displayed a Facebook group with the banner picture being a photo of Marinette. “They are mostly complaints expected of teen girls when there is a girl they don’t like; ‘Marinette is such a know-it-all’, ‘She is constantly insulting Lila’s intelligence’. They go on to talk about how Marinette was briefly expelled from the Collège before being reinstated by the principle for a reason unknown to them.”

Everybody talks too much

“Her school reports up until this year were good. The newest one states, ‘While Marinette is a wonderful and bright student, I encourage her to settle her disagreements outside of class. This seems to only be a recent occurrence and I implore her to go to the guidance council if she is in need of help.’” A beat of silence echoes through the cave, Tim sighed. “Jason’s meta theory could be correct. She could have just recently started exhibiting her abilities and using them to get what she wants.”

“Bruce what do you want to do?”

“We’re going to Paris.”

She opened her eyes to the blaring morning light that streamed through the blinds. Her lashes still painted with mascara that refused to leave. She felt a pang of sorrow when she was removing her makeup and dress last night, she never wanted the night to end. She shuffled down the stairs to the kitchen, covering her mouth when she yawned. She greeted her mother as she entered the kitchen to get breakfast.

She glanced at her phone and there was the chaos that was started hours ago and it was still occurring. It was the weekend, she wouldn’t need to deal with her classmates until Monday. But she would still have to survive her parent’s interrogation. Out of the corner of her eye she caught her mother smirking at her.

Everybody talks

“Nadja told me some interesting news about last night.” Marinette held her breath, glaring at the toaster, willing it to hurry up so she could escape. “Well,” Sabine patted her shoulder before rubbing Mari’s back. “I know you didn’t want to go but I hope you had fun.”

With that she exited the kitchen, probably going to help her father in the bakery. The ravenette stared after her, eye widened in shock, jumping when the toaster went off. Buttering her toast she went over the conversation, her brows furrowed in confusion. She had expected a ‘When do I get to meet the oh so famous prince?’ or ‘Should I be expecting a new guest sometime in the near future?’ or at least a ‘Who was that young man, Bǎozàng (宝藏 it means treasure)?’ But she said nothing.

A small smile was plastered upon her face as she changed and went down to help her parents in the bakery. Her father didn’t say anything either, he gave her a knowing smile before continuing to kneed the dough. She sat at the the store front as the cashier whilst her parents were busy making ‘Paris’s Finest Pastries’.

Her musings slowly faded as she was brought back to reality by badly hushed whispers. Two young preteens were by the bread roll casing near the door. She had seen them come in before with their parents, the girls went to the prestigious international school over in the 16th arrondissement. The one with purple hair kept whispering to the brunette, both ‘subtly’ glancing towards her. Using her enhanced hearing she listened in on their conversation.

“That’s her, I swear that’s her in the video.”

The blonde’s face soured likes she sucked on a lemon. “No, it wasn’t good lighting there is no way he would dance with someone like her.”

Everybody talks

Marinette had tough skin but their words had an impact, only a small one due to her defence mechanism of repressing emotions. She stopped listening and went back to drawing in her sketchpad, she was in desperate need of a new school outfit.

The two girls eventually came up to the counter, goods in hand. Marinette rung up and bagged their items (paper because save the turtles sksksk) in a tired daze. A phone was shoved into her face, her eyes barely adjusted to view the screen before the blonde spoke.

“Is this your instagram?” She asked in a tone so snobbish that it should be illegal from a person her age. Marinette finally was able to view the screen that was barely an inch from her face. Her old Instagram ‘mariiiiinette’ was displayed on screen, she hesitantly nodded, gaze flicking back to the two in front of her.

The blonde’s nose scrunched up and the purple goth girl squealed in delight. They soon after left the store, their conversation had devolved into ‘See! I told you’ and ‘Yeah, yeah. You were right.’

Walking to school on Monday, she had finally come down from cloud nine. She still rode the tail end of her high as she rushed along her path to her campus, she wasn’t going to be late but she sure wasn’t going to be early. She had spent the better part of the weekend designing and sewing a brand new outfit. Her new look was composed of a black cropped singlet (L'amour gagne hemmed into it and it’s straps), paired matching peach plaid cropped overshirt and a-line miniskirt. Her hair was down, ballet flats were worn and her makeup was the usual with the added edition of a rose gold eyeshadow.

Even though her face was covered in a black and gold mask, she looked hot.

She reached the campus and the whispers started again, people were still buzzing from Friday night. Her classmates, the majority of her grade and the younger years seemed to gossiping before class about the formal’s events. She couldn’t spot any of her friends or the two Gotham transfers, so she was stuck listening the the chitchat. Why couldn’t she have been late like usual?

Damian had a fowl disposition and it showed in multiple icey glares (and that was before he even reached the collège). His family had made their appearance known in Paris at 1am Sunday morning. He could have used his dorm to escape but his family didn’t have the word ‘privacy’ within their vocabulary. He didn’t want to have to pay for a lock replacement due to his brothers’ (most likely Todd with Drake & Grayson laughing at him) lock picking habit.

The Ice Prince was back with full force. He had just been... influenced by all the other couples. Yes he did respect Dupain-Cheng and he appreciated her company & pleasant conversations. He would struggle to hide a small smile at the memory of the dance, even if he denied himself the happiness of normality, he felt content when reminiscing.

“Ooo the Ice Prince is here, did he have a fight with his princess or something?” The voice seemed to mock him.

“The Disney Magic is gone. The demon is back.”

Everybody talks

At the second jeer he shot a glare at the perpetrator. Jon held his hands up in an ‘I surrender manner’, laughing as he joined Damian at his side. The two entered the school’s large foyer and looked to see if any of the classes were open yet. Sadly they weren’t, before he was wrong and the his class was plain torture but this was truely hell.

He saw Dupain-Cheng sitting alone on the stairs, drawing within her sketchpad. He wondered how a girl like her, who always seemed to be involved in other’s lives (for the better) was ignoring all of the comments about her. She felt his focus centre on her, eyes flicking up to meet his, she provided him with a small wave before continuing to draw.

Jon nudged him with an elbow to his ribs and dragged him off to the side, into the boy’s locker rooms. Jon scowled at the door, “It’s a mad house out there. You’ve heard what some people are saying right?”

“Why would I care about these imbeciles?”

Jon jabbed Damian in the chest, causing the demon to stumble. Green eyes darted from blue eyes to the tan finger. “You care when lies hurt people you care about.”

The day began to rapidly decline once the two dance partners took their seats, next to each other. They had both been placed up the back of the class and them sitting together hadn’t been a problem until now apparently. She wasn’t even safe when the teacher started their lecture, whispers and glances were cast towards them. Once the two got to biology it was better, Ms Mendeleiev was a strict teacher and was able to control the class.

Everybody talks

But the recess came. When the bell rang she slowly started packing up her equipment, Alix and Max (who she shared biology with) waited for her; she watched as the Ice Prince left through the door. She knew she didn’t need to be concerned about her friends joining in with the gossiping, if anything they would dispel people and tell them to ‘Mind their own fucking business’ because this whole situations is ridiculous, utterly ridiculous.

She did receive some slight teasing from Alix about being a Disney princess, but Marinette quipped back about the skater’s fairytale story being ‘Pinknette, the Geek and the Beast’. The three met up with the other two of their group, they had just come from geography. Kim was complaining that Argentina was a state in America.

“That’s Arkansas you idiot!” Chloe shrieked, lightly hitting his arm with her white handbag. Max held his head in his hand as he approached, how had his tutoring sessions failed so badly?

Chloe turned to Marinette, a smile forming from her glare. The blonde examined the designer’s clothing, nodding. “You look like you are about to have a hot girl summer.”

Marinette’s face burned, the tips of her ears coated in red. Alix chuckled and nudged her shoulder.

Everybody talks

“Look at her, she is so desperate for his attention that she probably copied those designs.”

“Why do you think he danced with her anyways? Maybe she has something on him? I mean, she forces him to sit next to her in class, who knows what else she has done.”

What. The. Fuck.

Chloe glowered towards Lila’s posy. “We have a fucking seating plan, those cretins-“ She made a motion to storm over but was caught by the ravenette, looking back to Mari, her rage decreased from a boil to a simmer.

“No Chlo. It’s fine, it’s not worth it.”

Everybody talks... back

The group walked out to the school’s front steps, it was a mad house... a mad courtyard? Students sitting on the stairs, on the grass and standing around mingling, all of them now were staring at her. She held her backpack close to her chest (she had swapped her signature coin-bag purse for the pastel pink bag), pretending its a shield. Her friends circled around her becoming an obstacle to prevent their stares. If people were afraid of a scowling Kim then they don’t know the scorn of Chloe or Alix’s bite. And Max, sweet quiet Max.... you better hope he doesn’t have blackmail on you (he probably does), he can dismantle your life with a single anonymous post.

Rushed footsteps approached them. The group was broken apart by a rude Wayne boy, he swept Mari away from the school and the gossip crowds within. Her four friends shouted at him and he kept walking, shooting a glare at them in response. He kept pushing Marinette forward with a hand placed on the small of her back, her backpack was now swung over his other shoulder.

They ended up in her favourite alcove. She had brought him here with the other Gotham transfers for a native’s tour of Paris. It had always been her safe place to be creative.

It started with a whisper (everybody talks, everybody talks)

“My apologises for our rushed departure but you seemed to want to get out of their anyhow.” His gruff tone danced through the silence, his head still peaking around the corner; watching for any unwelcome guests.

“Thank you.” She whispered, her voice almost being carried off by the gentle wind. A genuine smile illustrated upon her face.

“We weren’t able to converse after the events of the other night. I would like to formally apologise once more for my actions causing this adverse reaction. If I had kn-“

“You don’t need to apologise!” She squeaked, hiding her eyes behind her fisted hand. Her shoulders curled inwards as she tried to make herself seem as small as possible, a side effect of her common use of her secondary miraculous form: Multimouse.

“I chose to dance with you, you don’t need to apologise for my own actions.” He stared at her with confusion. He had taken the blame so she wouldn’t need to do so herself; but she had taken it anyways. He had given her an out. Why does she always take the blame, even for things out of her control?

“But if I hadn’t danced with you then you wouldn’t have been the focus of the entire school.”

Marinette stepped forward, her eyes hardened and blazing. “Damian Friday night I went there out of obligation to my friends, I didn’t want to be there. But dancing with you? That was the highlight of my week, probably my month too. I enjoyed our time together.” Her face softened, lips twitched downwards ever so slightly. “I don’t regret anything about that night, but do you?”

He was bad at comfort. Everyone in his family avoided him when they were in need, he plainly didn’t know what to do. She wasn’t visibly upset but he sensed that she is disappointed that he apparently didn’t share the same opinion of the night. The only thing he regretted about that night was letting Jon call him a coward, but then again if he didn’t he never would have danced with Dupa- Marinette.

He picked up her clenched hand, the tension in her body alleviated at his embrace. He remembered how Grayson would apologise to Kor’i or how his father interacted with Ms Kyle. He brought their hands up and placed a kiss upon her knuckles.

And that was when I kissed her (everybody talks, everybody talks)

“I do not regret anything either—“ he cleared his throat, “In fact, I’d appreciate if we would be able to interact more, especially outside of that cesspit.”

Was he...?

It didn’t matter.

She smiled the same dazzling smile she gave him at the dance. She nodded while laughing, “I’d love that.”

Everybody talks

The two stay talking, hidden within their secret alcove for the rest of the day. She texted her parents to say she was with a friend and would be back later that night. Damian didn’t bother texting his family, Marinette knew he had to be back soon due to his dorm’s curfew.

The sun was setting at they walked back together, he did the gentlemanly thing and dropped her off at her bakery door. She could see her mother behind the register inconspicuously looking over at the two of them. Damian’s lips quirked upwards, she was satisfied with his kinda-smile.

He walked back, hands in pockets and a neutral expression upon his face instead of a scowl. He reached his door and took his keys, he found that it was already open. Damn.

His family was splayed out within his two roomed dorm. Todd and Drake were fighting over a place to sit on his bed, whilst his father sat at his desk, watching the commotion. The three of them turned to him as he enter the room, they were the only family members able to attend on short notice; Cain had a ballet audition, Gordon & Brown had concert tickets for tomorrow, Grayson had to take care of Mar’i while Kor’i was on Tamaran and Alfred stayed to ensure no one died during their night time activities.

“We need to talk Damian.” His father stood, leaning onto the desk chair. “The school called and said you had an unexcused absence for half the day. Where were you Damian?”

Damian stared into his father’s eyes. He was fifteen, almost an adult, but was treated like he was ten again.

“I was with a friend.”

“Probably the girl from the dance. Marinette, right?” Todd mocked him. Damian snapped his head in the direction of his bed, glaring at both his brothers.

“That’s what I want to talk about with you Damian. Now I don’t know her personally but from what we’ve discovered through our investigation we have some concerns. What’s happened Damian?”

The youngest Wayne’s glare shifted off of his brothers to the floor, and then finally to his father; his family sitting in wait for his answer. Straightening his posture, his shoulders clicked as he rolled then back. His statement’s tone was sure and steady, “Everybody talks father.”

Everybody talks... back

#maribat #marinette x damian #mlb x dc #batfam salt #batfam is concerned #Daminette #the aftermath of ‘Like I did with you’#everybody talks by neon trees #max kante has blackmail and will use it #Alix will bite if provoked #dc x mlb #damian wayne x marinette dupain cheng #Marinette Dupain-Cheng is a meta?#supportive Dupain-Cheng parents ❤️

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batarangsoundsdumb · 3 years

Text

guess fucking what? my inbox is so fucking full right now i'm unloading all of this shit in one post.

For the 11th gotham memes: gothamites react to bruce being jacked in a tiktok he made with kids, like super yoked, ripped as hell

fucking hilarious thanks. i think i did it in one meme post, but i genuinely don't remember which one

i dunno which of the batfam would do this but one time i was sleeping over at a friends house and ended up on the floor bc the bed was so very small and i just stayed there because the rug was soft

that's a drunk jason move i don't know what to tell you

tim and jason are "i listen to pop punk" solidarity. whenever jason highjacks the batmobile theyll go on long ass car rides blaring mcr and paramore and then never talk about it again

as they should!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! tim: no jason it's my turn using the aux cord i gotta put on my jams jason: don't you dare put on weird shit tim: don't worry, you're gonna love this *plays fearless (taylor's version)

hear me out hear me out, red hood stans 🤝 nightwing stans t h i g h s

holy shit yes.

SNL au: Bruce breaks character when pretending to superman and says something like "I'm not superman! You've seen his gps!! It's from 2001!!!" @sabeanybabe

superman flies past the snl building the next day just to say 'actually it's from 2005, i'm not a heathen'

does your back hurt from carrying the batfam fandom

it hurts more from the exotic rock collection i keep in my backpack, but thanks for the concern.

I love your posts by why would you always leave the best parts in the tags?

as a treat for the people that check the tags ;) (and also because i'm committed to the short post aesthetic)

somehow your playlist was everything i never knew i needed. i mean it. this is my new favorite playlist.

and don't you dare get a new favourite playlist!

babe ur stoner tim playlist is exactly too perfect, earth is literally blessed by ur existence

babe thanks so much! i love my stoner tim playlist because it's just my usual playlist but people think it's an artistic choice that i put taylor swift and britney spears in there, when it's just what i unironically like listening to

JANDKSKDK BILLY RAY CYRUS ON THE STONER TIM PLAYLIST I LOVE IT IT

again it's not even an ironic choice, i know every single word and i genuinely like the song

The last chapter of Fundamentals of Casework has me crying at work. Thanks I love it @dudelookitsalesbian

oh babe, i'm sorry, but also, not sorry i love chapter 4 so much it's my lovechild with the 'mental illness' tag

soooo....stumbled on your tumblr by some stroke of fate??? read your DC fanfic first. which is PHENOMENAL btw. then found all the batmemes; the funniest thing EVER bc everyone forgets about regular old gothamites. kept scrolling and your blog pops up as recommended. clicked on the ao3 for shits and giggles and waddaya know?!?!? it's YOU!!! you're LEGEND!!!! ever seen that meme? it's a video of a cat that got into a baseball field and the two announcers get really invested in his escape attempt and start giving a play by play of the cat instead of the game. memeable moment: "GREAT stuff from the Cat!!!"

i seriously think about this ask every single day and it's so fucking funny to me that i've never seen the meme you're referencing, but i still find myself going 'GREAT stuff from the Cat!!!' whenever i see something funny. but wow i'm glad you liked this steaming pile of garbage

Fav dc character overall? And fav batfamily character?

don't ask me to pick between the loves of my life, but i can tell you i've cried about every single batfamily member and also wally west (my beloved)

What's your opinion on fans having a problem with batfam being "too big"? And some even claim that batfam is just "Bruce Alfred Dick Damian" and the rest of them are just "friends and allies" (source: reddit) Personally, I like batfam because of this reason but idk

stupid. a family can never be too big. i'm not that big a fan of like huge batfam stuff with everybody from every single universe, because as much as it's funny for bruce to have like 30 kids, it just feels a little too OOC for me.

This is the best tag I've seen involving the batfam, thanks for thinking of it

This is canon now @nctxrejects

lmao yeah i think at that point alfred has had to sit through like at least a dozen coming out talks and just has a pride flag collection in the attic that he pulls out whenever a kid comes out

idk why batfam hits different as compared to any other superhero family

bc it's found family and usually the other superhero families are almost all genetically related in one way or another

I don't know if you watch the umbrella academy but I saw your last post about batcest and saw the similarities. But the thing is (although I think it's weird) in TUA, they addressed it by saying "they were raised as weapons, not siblings" or something along those lines, which is simply not the case with batfam.

yeah i watched tua but i also thought it was ridiculous and they still treated each other as siblings so i didn't like the luthor/allison thing, and am glad they stopped doing that shit bc it fucking sucked.

Hot take: Batcest shippers are the same people who believe adopted siblings are not actual siblings

smoking hot take: batcest shippers are the people who watch 'my sister got stuck in the washing machine' porn

Duke was adopted by Bruce?

not technically no, but do i, tumblr user batarangsoundsdumb, look like i care?

True story but I had to change my freaking name because it used to be "Damien" and most people would go "OH LIKE DAMIAN WAYNE" like please I'm just tryna live

true story, but i don't actually think of damian when i hear the name damian, literally the first thing that pops up is damian darkh like bruh what?

apparently dc comics company supported comic stores by giving out new titles and stuff during the beginning of the pandemic to help them run and I just think that's wholesome

ah yeah that's so fucking cool, still don't like dc, the company, because this world is a capitalist hellhole and we're all owned by warner brothers or disney with no in between.

ayo looking at tumblr head canons and finding out bruce is actually a terrible father is a punch in the gut

lmao yes, in like 50% of comics bruce is a terrible father and it gives me whiplash

oooh I just saw the jason todd vs winter soldier post and the real question is: batman vs iron man

while iron man has like hundreds of cases of armor, batman could throw out an emp and have the guy dropping out of the sky in 2 seconds.

dickfast = fastdick = quickdick = quickie

magnum hot take

hey bata(?) just thought I'd let you know I have copied the obnoxious emoji and Billy Ray post for use on simping men going forth

thank you 😘🌷 (@spacebarsidecar)

why would you do that to your followers???? i get why i did it, but why would you???

what is scarecrow made the nightwing funko pop himself, like those diy-ers that paint over other ones

oh god no, horrible take, horrible take, that's a disgusting thought oh no

I see your HC that Bruce and Oliver fucked and raise you this: Dick and Roy ALSO fucked

yes they did and it was a horrible moment for jason to find out dick has fucked both of his best friends

"at this rate bruce adds like 1 child to his family every decade or so" Duke is introduced in 2013, Damian as Damian, not as an unnamed child, in 2006. And he is already 14 years old, Robins rarely remain Robins after 16 😬 It looks like a new Robin and Batkid will appear in a couple of years

i mean i can't wait? but somebody will probably die first tho, we're due for another major character death. my money's on either cass or duke this time.

BRO you're so right all of your Bruce's ex headcanons are amazing but they aren't ships, that's kinda wild. Like I don't want any peeks into how their relationship was I just want to see everyone make fun of them

lmao YES it's just i love bruce being a slut, like good for him.

I am in love with your posts your honour thank you

omg thanks are we like,, gonna kiss now?

The justice league needs to have a meeting to discuss how many of their members/partners have slept with bruce. Because through a combination of cannon & fannon (if DC wasn’t homophobic) we have AT LEAST: 1) clark 2) lois 3) oliver 4) dinah 5) john

Thats not counting villains or random civilians @dudelookitsalesbian

yes yes yes, they'll have a yearly meeting about how many of their collective exes could be out for revenge and batman's list just keeps getting longer.

tim was like "i'm drake now" and everyone was like ahh so your fursona is a dragon and tim was like pffffft no. ducks.

and what about it?

when steph's fighting livewire and she zaps her with lighting and nothing happens and then they both just. stand there awkwardly for a second and talk. yeah i couldn't stop laughing at that batgirl steph is the BEST

oh yeah that was fucking hilarious and i think it would be so cool and sexy of dc to give steph a little comic series,,, as a treat

Hi I absolutely adore all of yours "Bruce and Oliver very badly pretending they didn't fuck each other" memes

lmao i do too

I need you to know that “Bruce Wayne had frosted tips” is one of my favorite Bruce takes of all time it’s so galaxy brained. you’re right and you should say it

he also painted his hair blonde once when he was travelling and in conclusion, this is why he's being blackmailed by the gotham gazette.

you know my thing about gordon being branded as the only good cop in gotham is its a load of shit like arguably he's a good person and not working to screw people over or anything but the fact that he also works w. batman makes him a shit cop. like yea batman is better than the mob but its still illegal its still an abuse of power he just not making bank

babe, all cops are bad cops. (but yeah youre absolutely right, working with vigilantes makes you a shit cop, but also working against vigilantes just makes you an asshole cop yanno?)

ruh roh i think i’m about to add “so not yeehaw” every time i don’t like something

that's a very good vocabulary upgrade

somehow i feel like steph already knew. like babs obviously knew but i feel like bruce got high/drunk in front of steph and started telling his boarding school stories and steph was just like “oh you fucked up i’m never gonna forget this”

steph and bruce have weird uncle/rebellious niece dynamic and they just hang out sometimes and bruce will be like 'i once broke my arm when i tripped over a hedge when i was drunk so oliver drove me to the hospital on an electric scooter' and steph will just have to sit there with that knowledge in her head.

Hello I just wanted to tell you you are So right in all your steph opinions bc she is, in fact amazing and I think that's very sexy of you. Ps. Your Bruce/Oliver fic is hilarious

babe, thank you so much and yes steph is amazing and i love her and she deserves the world and she's the best member of the batfam hands down. also thanks

In Supersons we see a couple of kids that are implied to be Damian and Jon's children and the boy has laser eyes and can fly, so I asume he's not adopted. The girl, who calls Bruce grandpa, can also fly, btw. So it's canon (probably by accident) that Jon can have kids and he must have married one of Bruce's kids. (I'm hoping for Damian, mostly because any other of his children would be waaaaaaaaaaaaay too old.) @artemisa97

lmao that was probably an accident seeing as jon is a 17 year old superhero in the year 3000 (by the jonas brothers)

You know, I'm a die hard fan of your memes, but I gotta say one thing: if Gothamites actually took gas mask everywhere with them, then the Scarecrow would just be a weird dude in a weird costume, and not a villain oh so scary. DC really should just takes notes from you.

bold of you to assume there's no gothamite anti-maskers

How does it feel being the funniest person on this app?

horrible, next question.

I can't listen to Green Day or Billy Joel without thinking of your post about how Bruce got arrested at a Billy Joel concert @nightwings-kid

yeah that's your mistake, i on the other hand can't enjoy billy joel without thinking about the glee rendition of 'uptown girl'

I've FINALLY been watching the Batman animated series and I gotta say, after watching "the gray ghost" I am CONVINCED that Batman is a closeted super hero geek who was 100% freaking out the first time he met Superman and is just REALLY good at hiding it.

superman: so what do you do in your free time? batman, thinking about the superman fanfiction he's writing on the batcomputer: i have no free time

bruce and oliver be like boyfriends to co-workers 401k (do the justice leagues get 401ks??? not that bruce and ollie would need them, but-)

lmao yes just 400 thousand words of bruce realising 'oh dip oliver is such a fucking dumbass' (also i don't know what a 401 k is but i assume they don't?)

Gothamites would totally boo superman as he saves Gotham while batman is out. @meenje

he's like 'okay think about that next time you want to be saved from an alien octopus'

I just took long break from dc comics and I come back to see ric grayson ??

i think it's very cool and sexy of dc to see dick and just think 'you know what? let's just give him a traumatic brain injury' and then didn't develop his character in any real way

SPEAKING OF RIC GRAYSON, gothamites making confused memes out of ric grayson is much needed

'dick grayson is my taxi driver? can anyone explain what the fuck happened he looks like an italian plumber?'

i hate to say it but batfam are def "marvel characters" in that sense they are characters who are human but become superheroes unlike most dc characters who are gods trying to be human maybe this is why I like batfam

fair enough

#this is only like half of it #but at least you can get like a few answers #yanno fuck it #bataranswers #ask #asks #anon

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anothertimdrakestan · 4 years

Note

please do like the boy boys and yj boys reaction if they walked on the reader changing (based off of that tiktok trend)

Batboys/YJ Boys Reaction To Walking In On You Changing HC

hehehehe this is so funny omg i love it!!! for ppl who are wondering wtf i'm talking ab check HERE it was the first one that popped up so yeahhh

Wally West:

- i think we forget this man lives in slow-mo

- in a fraction of a second he's walked in, almost walked out, manually shut his mouth from hanging open, thanked every god for this wondrous occasion, and zoomed away blushing like an idiot

- then there's two clear options, if y'all flirting or dating or yk what i mean he's speeding back with a red rose in his mouth and a DANGEROUS glint in his eye

- if he's just crushing there's no chance he'll muster the confidence but rather he'll probably sprint straight to wherever Dick is and explain everything in intense, intense detail and follow you around like a puppy dog a little extra that day hehehe

Jason Todd:

- you best believe jason is shooting his shot

- he's the type to walk in and walk out, check the house is empty, then yeet back into your room tackling you onto the nearest surface

- something along the flirtatious lines of "god i should walk in your room more often" making you roll your eyes and grin

- then there's some kind of "well i can let you be the only one half clothed" and i think we alllll know where it goes from there ;)

Tim Drake:

- the ONLY way i see this happening is this when he walks in:

- "OH MY GOD Y/N LOCK THE FUCKING DOOR I DONT WANNA SEE THAT" *slaps his hands over his eyes*

- "TIM WE ARE FUCKING DATING YOU DUMBASS"

- "ITS NOT THE SAMEEEE COME OUT WHEN YOURE DONE"

- then he's slamming the door shut and patiently waiting to give you a happy lil kiss when you come out

Bart Allen:

- again, there's only one way this goes:

- bart walks in, his brain implodes, hand slaps over eyes at literal inhuman speed and you whip around to see bart shaking, like crackling with electricity, in your doorway

- "Bart oh my god GET OUT!" you screech, hoping he's actually covering his eyes cuz your cheeks have just gotten insanely warm

- "got it, i didn't see anything, well that's not true, i saw- no that doesnt matter, i'm leaving, leaving through the door, door, where is the door? i've got my hand over my eyes ya know cuz, well i saw you-" *BONK* idiot slams his face into the side of the wall trying to make it out of the door

- in a blaze of sparks he's zooming out of the room while you fall over laughing, later the two of you promise never to speak of the moment again, though in hindsight it was pretty funny

Steph Brown:

- she'd open your door and pause then be like "ooh honey those pants do not match that top your about to put on lemme help you out" not even acknowledging the fact that you're basically naked

- "wait why do those jeans make your ass look SO good go off queen omg"

- "do you need me to pop thay back pimple cuz lemme tell ya i'm quite skilled-"

- she makes you feel so comfy and gorgeous and proceeds to help you make the outfit of your life then y'all take some bombass instagram photos

Dick Grayson:

- you can't tell me dick wouldn't just pass out

- like he'd walk in, unannounced, continuing his original line of thought when he realizes this person he's being crushing on for months is looking like a five course meal

- his brain would go into overdrive, you'd probably be yelling then *bam* out like a light

- after some minor chaos he'd wake up to you uncontrollably laughing, fully clothed (thank goodness) while you relentlessly tease him about his fear of skin for the rest of the day and he's just like "if only you knew how much i liked you you adorable mess of a human being"

i hope u enjoyed! ily!

tag list: @vintageroses10 @idkmanicantenglish @kishony-the-geek @foenixphire @how--are--you @psych0crybaby @romance-is-tragic @birdy-bat-writes @subtleappreciation @officiallydarkgeek @tigirl-and-co @kinsey-scale-nightmare

#wally west #wally west x reader #kid flash x reader #jason todd #jason todd x reader #tim drake #tim drake x reader #bart allen #bart allen x reader #steph brown #stephanie brown #dick grayson #dick grayson x reader #dc headcanons #young justice headcanons #batboys headcanons #batfam headcanons

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moonlitceleste · 4 years

Text

social media

Maribat Platonic November Day 5 - Social Media

@maribat-platonic-november

Notes: This took me three days straight and an inordinate amount of research to pull off so uhhh hope you enjoy it :)

mdc ✓ | 102 Following | 15M Followers | 837M Likes

mdc ✓ ∙ 8-20

Soo I tried something new today

♫ | sound - Kismet - XIX

1.8M likes

2658 comments

marime OMFG YES QUEEN WORK IT

chloebee ✓ I told you it’d turn out good, didn’t I?

jasonsthunderthighs [id: Marinette is sitting on a stool, wearing an oversized Jagged Stone t-shirt, black shorts, and black flats. Her hair is in its signature pigtails. She kicks her legs up and the music changes. At the highest point of her kick, the outfit changes to a lace bodysuit, a silk blazer and silk straight-cut pants all in the same shade of red. Her shoulder-length hair is down and wavy, and she mouths the lyrics of the song while laughing. End id.]

lukasguitarpick new designs???

timdrake ✓ | 0 Following | 0 Followers | 0 Likes

theflyinggrayson ✓ | 15 Following | 45M Followers | 2B Likes

theflyinggrayson ✓ ∙ 8-22

go follow!!

♫ | original sound - theflyinggrayson

9.3M likes

16K comments

timmyboy OMG TIM MADE A TIKTOK WHAT AKSJDHSKA

graysonsass i wonder what bruce thinks about this

stephswaffles ✓ 👀

graysonsass WHATS THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN

thebuttsmatch HE MADE A TIKTOK ACC BRB CRYING

simpforjasontodd when’s jason going to get one??

timdrake ✓ | 3 Following | 12M Followers | 0 Likes

ladybuggachat @ladybuggachat

is anyone going to talk about how tim is only following dick, steph and mdc??

8:23 PM - August 22

25.6K Retweets 102.8K Likes

mdc ✓ ∙ 8-23

Throwback time!

♫ | original sound - mdc

3.7M llikes

17.3K comments

stephbrownie TIM DRAKE IS FOLLOWING YOU

jasonsthunderthighs [id: Caption appears. It says “here are some designs I made back in lycée! The first piece is...

marigoldd guys what if she’s friends with the waynes

kiddiesection TIM DRAKE?????

iceprinceee idk who this girl is but i might stan

nevergunnagiveyouup the co-ceo of wayne ent is following you what 😭

mdc ✓ | 105 Following | 35M Followers | 1.8B Likes

mdc ✓ ∙ 8-29

Design with me - finding inspo for Jagged’s new tour!

♫ | original sound - mdc

1.8M likes

12.1K comments

nettiee it’s been a week and she still hasn’t said anything about tim

marisleftpigtail QUEEN

mdc ✓ ty 🥰🥰

marisleftpigtail OMG SHE NOTICED ME ASDKJ

redrobinyum is it just me or is she filming somewhere else?

batttsy no ur right that kinda looks like gotham

marinettedesigned We made some macarons today! They’re coffee flavored. ☕

2,172,783 likes

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chatnuit am i insane or is that the wayne manor kitchen

marigoldd “we”?

redrobinyum kinda sus tbh

stephbrownie holdup didn’t dick say tim’s fav food was coffee

hawkmothsucks OMG YOURE RIGHT

batman stop wearing a cape

@nocapesedna

okay we all know jagged is friends w bruce, and since mari is his personal designer she has to know the waynes, right??

1:38 AM - August 30

32.8K Retweets 121.3K Likes

marinettedesigned A day in the park! Look at this cute dog 🥰

1,829,543 likes

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marisleftpigtail aww that’s so adorable

roselala ✓ I love puppies!!

marigoldd that kinda looks like damian wayne’s dog…

redhoodiee nah y’all are reaching

chloebee ✓ ∙ 9-02

Marinette didn’t want to post this so I’m doing for her. You’re welcome. #riffchallenge

♫ | original sound - chloebee

3.1M likes

39.6K comments

casssserole j-jason??

jasonsthunderthighs [id: Marinette is sitting in the middle of a room on a stool. The music plays, and she sings a riff over it. Once she finishes, someone whistles off-screen and says “Damn, Pixie.” She scrambles for the camera, and the video shakes right before cutting off. End id.]

howmanywaynes candy store from heathers?? an intellectual i see

misterbuggie THATS JASON TODD THERES NO WAY IT ISNT

drac0ma1foy who cares if it’s a wayne can we talk about her sINGING LIKE WHAT

queenbeeswax chloe doing god’s work out here

jaggedsemohair is that a wayne i hear?

bluebirb there’s no way this girl knows the waynes

mdc ✓ ∙ 9-03

Gymnastics challenge! I got bored so I decided to do this for fun—I’m by no means an actual gymnast so please don’t roast my technique askdj

♫ | original sound - mdc

2.3M likes

13.6K comments

marisleftpigtail how are you not an actual gymnast

nevergunnagiveyouup please my inflexible self could never

coffeeliterally i—dick grayson?? gymnastics??

kiddiesection 😳😳

theflyinggrayson ✓ ∙ 9-03

@mdc thanks for dropping by 😉

♫ | original sound - theflyinggrayson

9.3M likes

42.6K comments

nettiee MY WEAVE IS SNATCHED

mariwayneee ASKDHSKAJ I KNEW ITTTT

spidermxnn so we aren’t gunna talk ab how flexible these two are

graysonsass who’s the girl?

duckygrapes okay but this still doesn’t explain why tim followed her?

casssserole how did they do that routine so flawlessly

howmanywaynes JASON NOW DICK WHOS NEXT

stephswaffles ✓ ∙ 9-05

@mdc 😪

♫ | original sound - stephswaffles

5.3M likes

22.6K comments

kermitstea the chaotic duo i never knew i needed

tiredcollegestudent @timdrake watch out bro she’s stealing your gf

jasonsthunderthighs [id: Caption appears. It says “going to McDonald’s drive-thrus to see how many are broken. Stephanie and Marinette get into a car. They arrive at the first store and…

ladygoogoo PLEASEEE THE WAY THEY YEETED OUT OF THERE SO QUICK

timstephforever “nope i don’t know her” iM DYING

theflyinggrayson ✓ ∙ 9-08

trying to get @timdrake and @mdc to go to bed

♫ | original sound - theflyinggrayson

2.7M likes

10.6K comments

grrrreeat imagine being a businessman and seeing tim in a meeting after watching this

tiredcollegestudent uhh how have they not died from overcaffeination

literallymylife and i thought my starbucks order was wack 😭

c0ffeeluvr jason did not hold back aksjd

bruhbruhbruhh their faces when he took away their coffee eye—

spoileralert duke needs to make a tiktok i’m starving

theflyinggrayson ✓ ∙ 9-10

@mdc betrayal 💔💔

♫ | original sound - theflyinggrayson

9.8M likes

51.9K comments

iceprinceee WHAT OMG

mariharemm PLOT TWIST

hawkmothsucks i never saw this coming

chloebee ✓ You’re lucky I figured it out on my own, Dupain-Cheng.

queenbeeswax SHE PULLED OUT THE LAST NAME OOP

jasonsthunderthighs [id: Dick appears in the frame alongside Duke Thomas and Stephanie Brown. He talks to the camera, saying “Today we’ll be surprising Marinette.” Stephanie pipes in. “We asked her to hang out but she said she was busy designing. She’s probably overworking herself right now.” “She needs a Wayne’s night out,” says Duke. “So we’re going to her apartment to drag her out into the sunlight.” The three get into a car, and Dick records the ride. It looks very vlog-like. They stop the car and get out; only the pavement is recorded as they walk. The video cuts to Dick’s hand turning the doorknob. It then pans to a messy room with fabrics strewn all over the couch. “She’s not in this room,” whispers Dick. “Why don’t you try the studio? She’s probably in there,” Stephanie suggests. They walk further into the apartment, with Stephanie and Dick visible on the sides. They stop in front of a door, and she pushes it open. Once it's open, Marinette’s back can be seen. She is sitting on a chair with someone leaning over her. At closer inspection you can tell they are kissing. Dick gasps. “Is this why you didn’t want to hang out with me today?” The two break apart, showing Marinette’s astonished face and the person she just had her arms wrapped around. It’s Damian Wayne. His expression shifts from annoyance to displeasure as he spots the camera in Dick’s hands. The video shows him growling “Hand over the camera, Grayson!” before it rapidly blurs as the trio run off, laughing. An “oof” can be heard before the video cuts off to black. End id.]

PERMANENT TAGLIST

@avengerthewarrior @enternalempires @freesportspalacesalad @nathleigh

#maribat platonic november #maribat #celestewrites #daminette #timari #jasonette #dickinette #cel's fics

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kimberly-spirits13 · 4 years

Text

Happy Birthday Pt. 1

Pairing: Tim Drake x reader

Synopsis: One day you see on your favorite actor’s Instagram a phone number for Tim Drake saying to call him and tell him happy birthday. After Googling a picture and thinking he was cute, you call to wish him a happy birthday and possibly shoot your shot. It went better than you expected and three months later, your family had to move cities because of your father’s work. Landing in Gotham, you finally got to meet in person the guy you had slowly fallen in love with.

Disclaimer: This is inspired by a tiktok on a YouTube compilation I saw about this guy that posted his younger brother’s phone number online and then some celeb posted it on her story and a girl called the younger brother and now they’re a thing I guess idk but it’s that in a series, with Timber.

Note: Y/F/A= Your Favorite Actor Y/LN= Your Last Name Y/N= Your Name Y/F/B= Your Favorite Book

Warnings: None

Word Count: 890

It was another Saturday in LA and you were bored out of your senses. There were things that you could go do and people that you could hang out with, but today, the slow, unappealing tempo of the day kept you inside and sitting on your laptop. Utter and intense boredom overtook you and after a few minutes, you found yourself scrolling through Instagram and then on the page of Y/F/A. They had updated their story with a few pictures of them onset for their next project, but then the last one is what caught your eye. It was a phone number and then a video of them explaining what the number was for.

Tim Drake was turning 16 today and his older brother, Dick Grayson had posted his number online for everyone to wish him a happy birthday. You laughed at how many calls this random guy must be getting and decided that maybe you’d call him to add to the number. Maybe you would FaceTime him? You swiftly looked up his name on Google and actually found that he was a very well -known person and was the son of a billionaire. Despite that, he was cute so now your mind was made, you would FaceTime him. The only thing you did in preparation was tell your best friend. They were on board immediately and told you to keep them updated. This was going to be interesting...

You called on your laptop, only getting the sound of ringing before the status of the call went to “connecting”. A sudden anxiety settled in your stomach before he appeared. He was walking into what looked like a library.

“Hi.” He said awkwardly.

“Hey are you Tim?” You asked smiling some fiddling with the rings on your finger.

“I am, who are you?” He replied sitting down.

“I’m Y/N Y/LN, I saw the message that Y/F/A left on their Instagram and I thought you looked cute so I figured I’d call.”

“Y-you think I’m cute?” He stuttered some blushing a little bit.

“Oh yeah, totally.” You chuckled some.

“You’re not too bad yourself Y/N.” He complimented smirking some, “So where are you from?”

“Oh, I’m from sunny ole’ LA.” You laughed after a second, “That weird place in California with the YouTubers and celebrities.”

“Hey at least it doesn’t have clowns and giant killer plants.” He remarked rolling his eyes jokingly.

“I know right? It must be a pain living in Gotham.” You smirked some, “So I assume that your phone has been blown up all day?”

“You would not believe how many people have called. Although, I’m glad you did.” Tim was looking at a book that was next to him and then your eyes widened.

“Is that Y/F/B?” You asked perking up almost ignoring the comment.

“It is.” He answered, “Do you know this book?”

“Know it?” You laughed, “It’s my all -time favorite!”

“No way, it’s mine too.” Tim informed, his face lighting up.

That was the start of something that neither of you could anticipate. It was another two hours before Tim’s brother Damian walked in.

“Who’s that Drake?” Damian asked.

“Oh... this is Y/N Y/LN, she called to tell me happy birthday.” Tim explained glaring at his younger brother some.

“A waste of time I’d say.” The younger brother commented.

“Y/N, I’ll text you later.” Tim said and you nodded before saying goodbye and hanging up just as your best friend called for what was the 6th time.

“ARE YOU DONE TALKING TO TIM YET?” They asked dramatically.

“Yes actually, his younger brother interrupted him.” You replied, “He told me that he would text me later.”

“Ohhh, how was he????” They giggled some teasing you.

“He was really great, smart, funny, nice, a bit awkward...”

“You totally have a crush on him.” They chimed in.

“I-I am not!” You defended, “I just like him but not like, like just like...” You stopped thinking.

“Like a crush.” They rolled their eyes, “You’re 15, turning 16 this weekend, you have had a crush before.”

“Yeah, yeah.”

The two of you talked for another two hours and then, after a bit, Tim was texting you.

“Sorry about my brother. This is Tim by the way.” He messaged.

“It’s cool, I have younger cousins like that.” You rolled your eyes some, “They’re a pain.”

“No kidding. The demon spawn is really annoying.”

“Demon spawn?” You inquired laughing some.

“Oh sorry, it’s what we call Damian.”

“That is hilarious.”

You guys continued talking and as a few days turned into two weeks, conversations became longer and you guys were trusting each other with things more and more. Your best friend teased you about it every time that he texted you when the two of you were at the mall or just hanging out which led to intense blushing on your end that did not make them take it easier on you. Maybe it was chance, or maybe it was meant that his older brother would post Tim’s number, Y/F/A had posted it on their story, and even that you would have the courage or idiocy to call him, but you were glad it all happened. Tim, unbeknownst to you, was also thrilled that the one person out of seven billion others on this earth that could have called him, was you.

I hoped that you guys liked this one, I want to continue the series, this would have been out earlier, but it didn’t feel like the right time. If you have any requests, please send them in, I love any suggestions. I hope that you have a great day and week and stay safe and healthy! (Also does anyone know who the go artist is so that I may credit them?)

#tim drake x reader #tim drake x y/n #tim drake #tim drake imagine #batfam x reader #batboys x reader #batfam #dc comics #dc x reader #dc characters #fan fic stuff #fan fic #red robin x reader #red robin

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anothertimdrakestan · 4 years

Text

A Memorable Date With The Batboys (batboys x reader HC)

req: Can you please do the young justice and batfam perfect date with their s/o

hehehe this is so cute! like always pt 2 will be w yj bois! hope ya enjoy :)

Dick Grayson:

- Dick’s favorite dates with you are always the impromptu days you spend together

- one of his favorite dating memories was when the two of you tried to make a one year anniversary cake

- the kitchen (and you guys) were covered in flour and spent the whole day laughing while throwing globs of questionable frosting at each other

- so many eggs were lost in pursuit of a cake that didn’t catch on fire

- at one point dick tried to convince you to add cereal to one of the cakes and it was an epic flaming failure (literally)

- you opted to walk to the bakery down the street and ended the day with a cup of coffee and a shared piece of cake that was so delicious Dick had to go buy another piece for later

- laughing over steaming mugs while also taking the time to reminisce on a year’s worth of memories will always be a highlight for Dick, he finds the most joy in just talking to you and getting to know you more- because you being yourself is truly what he loves the most

- you still have some of the polaroids the two of you took right after failed cake #4 Dick’s hair was sloppily stood up due to the flour and you were cringing while he kissed you on the cheek with raw batter stained lips, he keeps a copy in his wallet for good luck as it always reminds him of one of the best days of his life

Jason Todd:

- Jason’s got two very different ideas of the perfect date

- the first is straight forward:

- kick ass together, eat fast food on the way back, make you scream his name for the rest of the night

- he thinks you’re a total badass and loves going on patrol with you, plus his post-hood hair is like 200x more attractive and after patrol all his senses are heightened from adrenaline and he’s extra good at paying attention to your needs ; )

- on the total other end of the spectrum, he also loves curling up with you on a colder day and reading or relaxing

- it’s not often Jason truly gets to slow down and relax so he relishes in just getting to hold you for a day while you binge tv shows or book series

- he likes to smother you in little kisses while you giggle and try to pull away, making him laugh harder and pull you in for more

- overall, he’s like constantly stuck between thinking you’re the most badass, hottest bad bitch on the planet and thinking you are the cutest most precious thing to walk the planet and he must smother you in his affection (i mean are you complaining???)

Tim Drake:

- i can’t explain why but i just KNOW tim would decide he wants to pop off for a random date night and take you on a whirlwind of magic and here’s what i think it would entail:

- you thought date night would be a night in with takeout and movies but were shocked when Tim showed up to your door in a sexy ass suit saying he had something special planned for the night

- after rushing to put on something to match his fanciness you were escorted into one of Bruce’s fancy cars as Tim drove you to one of the most expensive restaurants in town

- big fancy restaurants are not really Tim’ scene so this would seem like a pretty big shock, until he led you in and up an elevator

- there was a single beautifully set table waiting for the two of you making you shaking your head at his rich dorkiness

- “don’t worry we will be eating good tonight” he teased as he pulled out your chair and helped you in. he wasn’t wrong, the food you had replaced whatever your favorite food was before and you got to spend the night almost exclusively alone with Tim while the two of you stared at the moon from atop the building, talked about your future together, and just life itself

- conversations with tim are truly the best, he has a million insightful little thoughts swirling around his head and he's so cute when he gets excited and wants to tell you about something, even if you don't always get it hehehe

- the night ended with you draped in his blazer and his dress shirt slightly unbuttoned while the two of you skipped through downtown gotham screaming tiktok songs at 2am

- tim always remembers that night as filled with fun, laughs, and a night where he learned more about you just reassuring him that you truly are his favorite person on earth :)

Damian Wayne:

- damian's favorite date with you was more of an adventure than a date

- after a rough patrol damian was in need of a break and you texted him "d just take some time for yourself! like a little getaway" thinking it was nothing

- that was until he pulled up at your door with a stolen batmobile filled with titus and alfred the cat

- and just like that you were seated in the passenger wearing one of damians sweatshirts and your pj bottoms (he refused giving you time to change and just handed over the sweatshirt) driving until he saw the coast

- after an angry call from bruce and some of your smooth talking the two of you were secured for the day, damian knew it would be fun

- the two of you picked up some food and had a little beach picnic watching titus tear through the sand while alfred the cat sat in the car pouting

- you got to watch damian be authentically himself, running like a kid with titus, splashing you with water, and occasionally cracking a large grin that shone brighter than the sun

- damian will never forget getting to kiss you with the salty taste of seawater, the cuffs of his pants soggy and his feet cold but his heart warm and full. he's constantly sketching picutres of you with the ocean behind you, promising himself if he's ever sad or lonely he'll always have that memory to go back to

- you loved that day more than anything too, dami doesn't like you stealing his clothes but you've kept that sweatshirt forever, loving the way it still faintly smells of a mix of damian's cologne and sea water reminding you that beneath the snark (which is hilarious in of itself) there's a boy who just wants to point at pretty clouds and kiss you when he has the chance :)

hope you enjoyed! sorry this one took longer it gave me writers block for some odd reason ehehheh

#tim drake #jason todd #damian wayne #batboys #dick grayson #batfam #bruce wayne #tim drake x reader #jason todd x reader #damian wayne x reader #dick grayson x reader #batboys x reader #batfam x reader #dc headcanons #dc headcanon #jason todd headcanon #dc fluff #red hood x reader

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