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raven-at-the-writing-desk · 2 months

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Hey headmage, remember the Tsums that came to school...twice? Well...look at this

*shows Crowley Tsum in hands*

What should we do?

Enter; An Unkindness of Ravens.

“Oh my, if it isn’t a mini-me!!” Crowley exclaimed. He excitedly scooped up his Tsum self from you, marveling at the strange creature. "Salutations, mini-me!"

The bean-shaped being perfectly fit in the palm of his hand. It matched his dress in every way, from the mask to the feathered cape and crisp suit and tie, all crowned off by a top hat on a mop of dark, loose waves. Bright yellow eyes blinked up at the new onlooker.

"Fufu, look at how handsome it is!" Crowley gushed, scratching the Tsum behind a tiny pointed ear. The Tsum shook with happiness and leaned into his finger. "But of course, anything made in my likeness is sure to be brimming with the same charm as I!"

“It fell from the sky and bonked me on the head while I was walking up the path to Ramshackle,” you explained. “It was right after got back from grocery shopping at Mister S's Mystery Shop and the Tsum started to go through my..."

"Aren't you an adorable thing! Yes you are!" Crowley's voice had taken on a high pitch--the sound of a doting parent to an infant or a beloved pet. "I'll bet you're as gracious as you are cute! Cootchie cootchie coo!"

"Um, headmaster? Headmaster? Hello-oooo, are you paying attention to anything I'm saying?"

"Hmm, what?" Crowley startled, registering you for the first time since entering his office. His tone, suddenly dismissive. "Yes, yes, I am listening and taking your report very seriously, Prefect!"

"Great, so you'll take it off my hands for me. it's been a real troublemaker, and I don't know if I can deal with and everything else on my plate."

"A troublemaker? This little fellow? Preposterous! Why, he wouldn't cause trouble for anyone." Crowley patted the Tsum on its head (which blended with its rounded body). It seemed to smile at him, bouncing in place. "Perhaps you might be able to assist me with my oh-so important administrative work? There are some documents that need to be reviewed and signed."

He lowered the Tsum, allowing it to hop onto his desk, where a few papers laid. You watched in silence as the Tsum explored its new surroundings. Poking, bouncing, prodding. His inkwell, the quill.

Anything but the documents—which went completely ignored.

The Tsum turned away, disinterested. It preoccupied itself with taking in the shininess of a nearby candelabra.

You raised an eyebrow at Crowley. It really is exactly like him.

"I-I'm sure he's taking his time! What matters is the quality of work produced, not the quantity nor how quickly is it completed!"

As he protested, the Tsum padded to the edge of the desk and stared over its edge. Then it tipped over, diving into an open desk drawer. The Tsum's rump stuck up in the air, happily wiggling as it swam in a sea of wrapped cookies and candies.

The headmaster let out a distressed squawk. "W-Wait, don't go in there! That's my top-secret snack stash...!!"

He yanked the Tsum out by a stubby foot, dangling it like a ragdoll. A macaron was in the Tsum's grasp, rapidly vanishing into its nonexistent mouth as if being sucked in by a vacuum. Crowley's eyes bulged.

"I tried to warn you," you shrugged. "It finished a whole loaf of bread from my groceries before I fished it out. Speaking off..." You extended a hand, palm up. "I'll need more monthly allowance to replace that bread."

His jaw dropped. Not at your misfortune, you suspected, but at the idea of having to shell out more money.

"Wh-What! Why must I be responsible for such a thing when I'm not responsible for the damage to begin with!?"

"You called it a 'mini-me'," you pointed out, "so take some responsibility for 'yourself' and make things right."

"I-I know I may have said that on impulse, but upon closer inspection... In what way does a Tsum that acts carefree, shirks work, and stuffs his face resemble me?!"

Uh, in every way...

"In any case, I am far too busy with my duties as headmaster to put aside time to monitor this hooligan," Crowley declared. The Tsum writhed in his hold, reminding you of a pathetic worm speared on a hook. "However, it happens that I know of a proven beast tamer who is perfectly suited to keeping him in check!"

His gaze settled on you, and your stomach sank.

Crowley grinned, approaching you and placing the Tsum on your shoulder. It immediately nuzzled up to you, nestling in the crook of your neck.

"I'm counting on you, Prefect!" he chirped, giving a strong, encouraging pat on your back. "My expectations for my students are quite high, and you are certainly no exception to that rule~"

Typical kiss-ups, both the Tsum and the real Crowley.

#twisted wonderland #twst #Dire Crowley #twst interactions #twisted wonderland interactions #disney twisted wonderland #disney twst #Two Ravens at the Writing Desk #self insert #Reader #Yuu

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ahmedmootaz · 1 month

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headcanon submission

Binah loves black tea

Chesed loves coffee

Ayin loves energy drink/soda (partially because drinking Wellcheers can kill you and he wants that and because of his acid battery spaghetti drink)

X loves loves fruit juice or hot cocoa (because 1. has that cozy vibes 2. he's sweet like the drinks 3. he's never seen the sun or the outside world so probably never even seen a fruit or cacao bean in his life or even a supermarket selling powdered versions of them 4. he's the only one with a favorite drink without caffeine)

Dear Anonymous,

While I usually post headcanon submission as they are, I had to stop at your submission just to say: Yes. Bing bang boom, you got 'em all in one go.

As such, I salute you, my good fellow! And, as always, all of the credits go only to YOU, Anon. Thank you for your submission! Until next time, be well, take care, and see ya'!

#lobotomy corporation #library of ruina #NOT my writing #ask #ayin #manager x

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a-bucket-of-trash · 1 year

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Hi Bucky (i hope you find that nickname appropriate =D),

it's my first time sending anyone on this platform a message, so if you think I'm overstepping a line, please tell me.

I wanted to say again that I adore your content and as a fellow Kelvin-lover, which is a really neiche thing, I think, wanted to thank you for your service (implied salute) at ginving us readers the opportunity to dive deeper into that charakter. I didn't even played the Game yet, because of some money issus, but he did wiggled into my heart nontheless.

I would like to pick up the topic "female receving oral" again. So, I couldn't sleep that well tonight, because my brain would NOT shut up about that thought...:

You and Kelvin laying in bed (either in a cabin on the island or at home) in the spoon position (Kel being the big spoon) and he wakes you up by rubbing his boner against your ass, but he is still asleep (probably having a naughty dream about you). You, getting hornyer and hornyer, decided to put it in. You carefully pull down your and his pants to not wake him up and his dick naturally slides in, elicting a rather loud moan from you, but he's not waking up. The sex is rather painful, not because it hurts, but because it's slow. Kelvin fastens his pace after some time and wakes up just seconds before he cums. He looks at you horrified about what happend. (Now your talent is demanded, because i dont really know how to resolve this situation. If you decide to give this thought a go and let it happen on the island it's obviusly dubcon, in my opinion. Maybe you could give it some backstory, where they fall in love or something [I'm so creative...] or you could let it as is and just let the reader give him a kiss or touch of some sorts and he agrees with the following.) You gently lead his head between your thighs, where his cum is leaking out of (I think is FUCKING hot, when men lick you clean, but if it's not your thing, please skip it). He starts to kiss your thighs, delicatly kneading the flesh at your hips and stomach and finally gives you what you need the most. (We agree that he is big softie, so I think he goes slow and takes his time with every bodypart of yours.) It's hard for you to focus, so you accidentally squeeze your thighs around his head little to much and panic about his wellbeeing but he doesn't stop for a second, just looking into your eyes, while eating you out.

I think that's it. I hope you like it and i hope you could make a coherent story out of it.

English isn't my fist language, so please excuse any mistakes.

Have a really nice day!!!

With that ask and kind words, you can call me Bucky or you can call me tonight to dinner omg wtf you are too sweet! aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa! Overstep on me please owo

I totally agree that is a SO SMALL community of Kelvin Fans, like I think we know each other by now XD

Happy to offer my service, my General!

I didn't play neither * cry in poor * but I play in my imagination lmao

I will pick all that idea and I will smash it in my notes because YES ALL THAT YES, 1000% YES YOU GIVE ME EVEN EXTRA IDEAS BECAUSE I WAS A LITTLE LOST THANK YOU!

Your english is better than mine, don't worry Bean!

Thank you again and have a lovely day with Kelvin in your pants head ♥ 3 ♥

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thepenpalhub · 2 years

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Salutations fellow beans!

My name is Hero and I am looking for a kindred spirit with whom to pass letters!🌼😃

I am a young lady (18) and am happy to be pen pals with girls and boys alike! I am not looking for romance, just friendship.💛🤝💛 Ages 16 through to 25 are most desired.

A little about myself! 🌼 I am a nature lover / country girl. 🐇 I own 4 bunny rabbits that I love so much! 📚 I adore books; High fantacy, fiction and classic literature are my favorites! 🌷 I am an artist! I'm currently illustrating a children's book and building a stationery business. ✒ I'm working on the first draft of a novel! 👑 My Mayers Briggs personality type is ENFP and my Enneagram personality type is 4. 🌿 And last but not least, I am Christian!

I hope to hear from you soon dear friend!!💖🌷

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violxtdreams · 3 years

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I really hope Zombies 3 comes out, so here are some thoughts/theories/predictions/ random stuff I think the film may be like! And some opinions :D.

-I noticed there’s a running gag of Addison speaking a monster language (and failing) so maybe this film will have her speak it perfectly.

-The new creatures will be Aliens, and they’ll have a white, blue and silver color scheme with moon motifs.

-The aliens will be one big metaphor for immigration. Perhaps something happened to their home planet

-or they have a space empire that colonizes galaxies and Earth is next.

-Addison will be adopted,

-Alien hair has special powers that manifest as a blue glow.

-The aliens will have something to do with the moonstone and werewolves

-The alien’s planet will have a fancy name. I think Alextros is nice.

-It’ll be a monarchy, and the king and queen are Addison’s true parents.

-Addison was meant to kickstart an alien invasion since she’s so good at fitting in,

-The moonstone is from the aliens,

-Everything supernatural is linked to the aliens

-The aliens will have their own intergalactic anthem,

-Their powers will be varied, but I think energy bursts, telekinesis, telepathy, mind reading, causing tech to go berserk, and perhaps teleportation are good choices.

-The aliens will be heavily associated with blue moons.

-Addison’s hair powers will go crazy and she’ll run away to control her powers. The aliens may help her.

-The werewolves and zombies will be suspicious of the aliens

-Earth will almost be invaded. Or at least Seabrook

-Addison’s parents will get their fair share of karma,

-Addison will have a new hairstyle. Maybe bangs, braids, or space buns for very subtle foreshadowing of her alien heritage.

-The aliens will all have white hair that can’t be dyed and also glows blue, (did I say that already? Sorry if I’m being redundant!) their hairstyles will mainly include space buns. Because space buns are cute.

-All the alien names start with ‘A’.

-Their will be a main trio of aliens. 2 girls, and 1 boy. I think Alyssa, Amaya, and Axel are pretty names!

-One will be legitimately smart but have a large ego. Another will be shy, a smol bean, and be afraid of humans. Another will be just vibing and brave.

-Addison’s biological parents will look like they came right out of a Sci Fi movie.

-At least 1 UFO will be seen

-SPACE PUNS!

-The alien language will sound East Asian (Japanese, Korean, Chinese, etc.), Greek, or like this “Kiro-Leo monolona zia?” (“What nonsense is this?”) (I made that whole thing up-)

-Star Wars and Star Trek refs

-There will be an alien kid to be Zoey’s friend. Adalie is a cute name.

-The aliens will have peculiar food preferences. Perhaps they like drinking vinegar, eating tin foil, or some other thing.

-The aliens will have a habit of speaking alien instinctually. Example: (“Have a good yia-cozo!” “Oops, I mean have a good day!”)

-The aliens will be prone to space puns. (“I’m over the moon for you!” “What in the universe?” “Hold your comets,” “Get your shooting stars out of here!” “That’s so stellar!” )

-The aliens will mention overthrowing planets and destroying moons like it’s no problem.

-The aliens have beef with the werewolves.

-The humans seem to learn they’re lesson and actually try to be nice.

-Alien abductions

-In every film so far we’ve visited the monster homeworld things (Zombie Town, Wolf Den,) so we’ll see the planet of the aliens.

-Addison will have her identity crisis used against her. (“Join your fellow aliens and be at peace with yourself or stay lost here without a group you belong with”)

-Instead of helping the aliens, the aliens will help Addison.

-Addison will wear alien clothing at some point,

-The aliens will betray everyone and use their powers to start an alien invasion.

-At least one character will do the Vulcan salute 🖖

-Bucky will fail to speak alien and will speak Klingon instead.

-Addison will gain an obsession with space.

-Zed will walk right up to a male alien and tell them to stay clear of Addison.

-Eliza will be incredibly interested in alien technology.

-The werewolves and aliens will fight to see who’s the most powerful.

-One alien will compete against Bree to be Addison’s best friend.

-LASER WEAPONS!

-The ending song will go like this: Cheerleader, Zombie, Werewolf, and Alien

(Time to stop cause at this point it’s just fanfic material)

And now, some opinions ! :D please don’t get mad if you disagree! I apologize in advance if it makes you upset.

-I’ve heard some people say that Addison’s identity crisis isn’t a good idea, but I think it’s actually incredibly interesting and relatable, at least for me!

-Some just want Addison to be an odd human. it may be my astronomy and fantasy obsession but I reallllly want her to be an alien. First, it seems obvious. Second, another clear metaphor. Third, it’ll have a bunch of story opportunities and fanfic potential for the supernatural creatures. Fourth, I just think her being an alien makes more sense than being human. No other human has the glowy, undyeable, white hair that she has. Unless more humans are revealed to have crazy hair colors due to some weird effect, (aftermath of the zombie apocalypse maybe?) I doubt she’s human. Plus, her mom is the mayor and her dad the Z Patrol chief. If she’s not human, then this makes sense because her parents may be keeping her on watch, in case she causes some weird thing.

-I don’t really think the zombies will be ‘lost’ story-wise. They managed to get a good deal of focus in the second movie so I expect the same in the third.

-I think the vampires actually have good story potential. If they decide to make a fourth film, I think it could work with some creativity to come up with a metaphor for vampires.

-I don’t think the film series is a mess :D in fact it’s my favorite DCOM since the first came out,

#zombies #zombies 2 #zombies 3 #disney zombies #z-o-m-b-i-e-s #predictions #theories #guesses #thoughts #aliens #aliens are cool #I might use all this for a fanfic! :D #space buns are cute too ・3・

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vaelyane · 4 years

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Hello, fellow modern hermits! It appears life is starting again, but I remain in hiding, cowering in my burrow. I must stay safe, for the outside world is still dangerous. 🐀 We met this little copper kobold during our sandbox Eberron campaign, and I just had to paint him. His name is Kryss and he wants to be an adventurer, just like the hero of his book, Drizzt do'Urden. We might be able to recruit him later! He's a good bean. (Shiny scales are actually really fun to paint! Who knew!) ~~~~~~~~~ Mes salutations, camarades ermites modernes ! On dirait bien que la vie reprend son cours, mais je reste bien caché dans mon terrier. Je dois rester en sécurité, car le monde extérieur est toujours dangereux. 🐀 Nous avons rencontré ce petit kobold cuivré durant notre campagne en Sandbox dans l’univers d’Eberron, et j’ai eu une envie folle de le peindre. Son nom est Kryss et il souhaite devenir un aventurier, comme le héros de son livre, Drizzt do’Urden. Nous allons peut-être pouvoir le recruter plus tard ! Et c’est tant mieux, car c’est une bonne petite patate. (Les écailles qui brillent, c’est super fun à peindre ! Quelle découverte !)

#dnd #dnd art #dnd character #kobold #illustration #character art #dungeons and dragons #eberron #ttrpg #fantasy art #lizard #digital art #artistic shenanigans #my digital art tag

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stanning-reyna · 3 years

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Aye y’all I wrote a poem about the culture shock I experienced moving from one country to another as a child. Enjoy!

I am from the United Kingdom

I am from the Pacific Northwest

From jelly babies and jolly ranchers

I am from the cramped house of a town in Surrey

From the spacious backyard of an American suburbia

I am from the rhododendrons that reached far above my head

And the ones that were nothing but small bushes

I am from the giant sequoia, hundreds of years old,

And the ponderosa pines that crash in the wind

I am from the hot cross buns on high street

From the Easter ham, eaten on lace tablecloth

I’m from the prayers that followed me across the Atlantic

From the aunts and uncles around the country

All tied together by a shared faith

I am from poppies on Remembrance Day

And flag salutes on Memorial Day

I am from the first day of reception

From playing dress up as a princess

I am from the first day of kindergarten

From playing with plastic orange cubes

I am from a girl with glasses

A friend with short brown hair

I am from a girl from Missouri

Another lonely new kid

I am from beans and toast at tea

I am from hamburgers and watermelon on the back deck

I am from being told I talk “too American” as a child

And that I talk “too British” as a teen

I am from wondering why no one understands my phrases

From wondering why no one knows this food

I am from asking myself which place I belong in

From feeling like I don’t fit in with either

Where are my fellow bicultural babes at? My experience wasn’t as shocking as some since I moved from one western English-speaking country to another, but it’s still played a huge part in shaping my childhood. Share your own experiences on a reblog!

#culture shock #biculturalism #bicultural #united states #us #united kingdom #england #britain #poem #poetry #poems #childhood #child #moving #move #pacific northwest #surrey

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abbysfrenchbraid · 4 years

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Hiya! Absolutely love your work! This feels super vague but could I request a short fic/headcanons of Abby giving her gf a piggyback please? The mental image makes me 🥺💕

what a cute idea, I got your message at like 10pm last night and just immediately started writing! Here you go, a short 1.5k fluff about the reader being clumsy at the WLF stadium and Abby coming to her rescue 💘

Warnings: light swearing, mention of violence (as always, message me for specific triggers and I’ll let you know if it’s safe to read)

Requests are open

A blessing in disguise

You could hear the hum of voices and the clatter of cutlery on plates from the hallway as you walked up to the swinging doors of the cafeteria. A look through the bull’s eye told you that the room was packed. No one would voluntarily miss baked potatoes with sour cream and steak, a real gourmet meal compared to the usual bean and sausage stews.

Now you just had to make your way over to your friends without becoming the laughing stock of the base. So far only a few people knew of your idiocy and the damage it had done to your ankle, but if Owen and Jordan noticed your limp before you reached the table, the next days would be made even more painful by everyone’s cruel jokes.

With a determined huff, you pushed against the door and clenched your teeth as you waved at some colleagues and hurried over to the loudest room in the table. Luckily for you, Owen and Jordan were having an intense discussion about the usage of melee weapons when fighting infected while Nora loudly commented on their arguments. Mel and Abby sat facing each other and grinned into their plates, obviously glad not to be included but entertained nonetheless. When Abby looked up and raised an eyebrow at your strange walking you just shook your head slightly and sat down next to her, finally able to relax your jaw.

“Slipped. Don’t worry about it.” Abby stared at you for a second, then she shrugged and continued to dig into her potatoes.

Owen had finally noticed your presence and instantly tried to pull you on his side.

“Oh Y/N, great that you’re here. Wouldn’t you agree that a crowbar works much better for killing clickers than, say, a baseball bat? It’s lighter and slimmer and has that sharp end that just goes through heads like butter.”

You grimaced at him while Jordan and Nora started simultaneously arguing with him again and effectively banned you from the conversation before you could actually enter it.

“Aren’t you gonna eat?” Mel had perfected that worried-mom look ever since she had given birth to her beautiful daughter and you immediately felt guilty.

“No - I mean yes, I’m gonna get myself a plate in a minute. Truth is,” you made sure the others were still caught up in their argument, “I took a bad fall today and my ankle hurts like a bitch. I don’t want to limp around in front of the whole cafeteria and become the center of all the jokes for a week, the pain is bad enough as is.”

Now Mel and Abby both looked at you with that face, that “you are our poor baby child and we can never let you out into the wild alone” expression that made you clench your hands into fists in your lap and stare at the tabletop in embarrassment.

“Do you think it’s serious, Y/N? You wanna come to medical after lunch so I can take a look at it?”

“Yeah, Y/N, how did this happen? Are you sure you’re okay?” Abby asked.

You looked up defiantly and rose to your feet. “I’m not a child, I can take care of myself, thanks. Now if you’d excuse me, I’m getting some food before I eat Owen alive.”

Abby grabbed your wrist before you could step over the bench, getting up herself and putting an arm around your shoulders.

“I got it, babe. We’re only worried about you. Just sit down, I’ll be right back.”

Mel patted your hand and offered you some of her water after you sat down again. Both of you watched Abby go up right to the front of the food line and get a steaming hot plate for you. This was unusual for her, she always hated when people took advantage of their rank in order to get special treatment. She was back with a few long strides and slid the plate in front of you.

“For the lovely lady. If only she would tell us why she seems so pained on this beautiful day?”

You shoved an elbow into her ribs but she only laughed and put a hand on your thigh, scooting closer and looking genuinely concerned now. It was apparent you had no other choice but to give in.

“Fine. Leah asked me to help her move some stuff into her new room with Jordan. I was walking up the stairs carrying some boxes when I stumbled. One of the boxes dropped and polaroids spilled everywhere, mind you this is Leah we’re talking about.” Your two listeners exchanged a knowing look and Mel had to fight down a laugh. You ignored her. “Well, I panicked because I could hear people coming down the stairs and I didn’t want them to see, you know, Leah’s tits all over the floor, so I tried to collect them as fast as possible and accidentally slipped on one of the photos.”

Mel burst out laughing and you could see it took everything in Abby to not do the same. She just intensified her grip on your thigh and pressed her lips together, her chest convulsing from silent laughter. You finished your story with an irritated sigh. “So there I was, lying at the bottom of the stairs in the midst of at least 20 nude photos, trying not to scream because my ankle and hip were on fire just as this group of younger recruits came around the corner. They were nice enough to help me up and collect the pictures without a word but for all I know they’ve already told their team and by tomorrow everyone will know about me swimming in Leah’s tits.”

You jammed your fork into the steak on your plate and began to hack away at it, eating as quickly as possible to escape this place and vanish from earth for the next year. Mel had calmed down and Abby finally released your thigh, placing her hand on the small of your back instead. Through your anger at yourself and embarrassment in front of the two other women you felt a rush of calm, warm energy at the blonde’s touch and took a deep breath.

Mel swung her legs over the bench and grabbed her tray. “I gotta head back to medical. Will you come see me when you’re done here?”

“I’ll bring her,” Abby said before you could answer. She smiled at you. “Why walk when you have me to carry you?”

You rolled your eyes at her and went on eating while listening to the weapon experts at the table attacking each other. Nora had left with Mel so it was only the two men now, pointlessly arguing over the same thing over and over again until a fellow soldier at a different table yelled at them to shut up and just find out in training the next time. They had nothing to shoot back at that so they also got up to leave for training and said their goodbyes.

“Nice talking to you ladies, thanks for your input.”

“Bite me, Owen,” you and Abby replied with one voice as they walked away, seemingly in a great mood after making the entire cafeteria listen to their bickering.

When you had finished your plate, Abby brought it to the return window and came back to you with a spring in her step.

“Well then, princess.” She helped you up and turned around, beckoning for you to jump on her back and you happily obliged, letting out an involuntary squeal as the strong soldier beneath you lightly jumped to adjust your position and grabbed your legs. You wrapped your arms around her and pressed your head to the side of hers, ignoring the puzzled looks around you.

Her smell was wonderful, pine and lavender creeping into your lungs and from there into every corner of your body, making you feel warm and at home. You could feel the muscles move underneath you, your weight seemingly nothing to the strong body carrying it. Abby kicked the swing doors open nonchalantly and carried you up the stairs and all the way to the medical tract without breaking a sweat.

She let you down gently at the door to Mel’s office. “I just need to grab some things from my room, I’ll pick you up here in 10 minutes. I don’t have any more tasks today so we can hang out at yours, you could read me some of the new stuff you wrote?”

This woman. You wrapped your arms around her again, this time from the front, and kissed her cheek. “You’re the best, Abby. Thank you so much.” She didn’t let go until you did, then she tapped her forehead in a playful salute and hurried off to her room.

You knocked at the door and Mel called you in, letting you lean on her to get to the camp bed. “All right, let’s take a look at this. It doesn’t look too bad, I think you got lucky.”

Her words made you think of the beautiful blonde wolf that would be keeping you company all afternoon. Yes, you really did get lucky. Maybe this injury wasn’t that bad after all.

#abby anderson #abby anderson x reader #abby x reader #the last of us 2 #abby simp society #abby tlou #abby anderson fic #tlou2

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fairy-writes · 3 years

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Greetings and salutations, hope I don’t bother you to much. May I please have a romantic matchup for Death Note and Bongou Stray Dogs? Please take your time, and no rush! My pronouns are They/Them and I’m pansexual with a preference to masculinity. I’m about 4’11..not to happy about it. My house is Gryffindor if I remember. I’m rather introverted, and can be considered not a people person. Because of me taking a liking to gruesome and morbid things like slashers and murder documentaries. I also like to visit abandoned hospitals and houses just for fun, along with playing quite a few escape rooms. A friend of mine even likes to call me "discount vomitboyx". I’ve also been called "doomer boy kinnie" before. I also can come off a little bipolar. I’ve come to the conclusion I just scare people off. In reality, I’m intimidated by everyone around me and find it hard to start conversing, which may or may not come off as rude to people. When I finally become comfortable with someone I start to become really sarcastic and joke around with them with witty banter. Most of my humor comes off really insulting, but I’ll apologize and say it’s a joke if it becomes a problem. Lots of people don’t like me or stay away from me because of my rude behavior. I’m not good with overly sensitive or overly annoying people at all because of that, and I can’t stand kids. I’m a huge animal person though. I have my moments where I can get really feisty, or very quiet and closed off. I’m the type of person that has lots of opinions on things but I keep them to myself and bottle them up. If pushed far enough I’ll become unforgiving, and aggressive. Especially with the types mentioned above. I find the most comfort in just being in my room drawing, reading and or listening to music ( My Chemical Romance, Arch Enemy, MurderDolls, Jazmin Bean, Get Scared, sometimes Will Wood, Lemon Demon or Mother Mother, etc. ), or even occasionally gaming on my switch or read and talk about Greek mythology. I’m a plushie maniac and when I fall asleep you can always see me cuddled up to one of them. I find it because I’m really touch starved. I’m guilty of being very submissive, and I suffer from asperger syndrome, depression and anxiety. I have small tics, but they only flare when I’m stressed or mad. I’ve also been developing a eating disorder. If you do get to this, thanks for your time. - coii

Hi lovely! I hope you like your matchups!

Death Note Matchup: I pair you with… Matt!

The two of you bond over gaming on your switch! He likes to watch you play and offers tips and tricks when he sees fit or when he simply wants attention. He’s a Slytherin, and I think a Gryffindor and a Slytherin make a formidable couple! He’s a bit taller than you at 5’6” and sometimes holds it against you when teasing, but overall he just loves you a whole lot!

He’s interested in your love for murder documentaries and slasher movies and will sometimes tag along when you visit abandoned hospitals and houses if you ask nicely! He also loves your witty banter and your sense of humor! The two of you seem to get into arguments when observed by anyone who doesn’t know you, but to those who do, they just know you guys are bantering with each other!

Bungou Stray Dogs Matchup: I pair you with… Mark Twain!

As the sniper of the Guild, he takes his job seriously but always makes time for you! He’s quite a bit taller than you at 5’10” but doesn’t tease you about it too much. He is also a fellow Gryffindor! So Gryffindor power couple!

He likes to watch murder documentaries and slasher films with you, so movie dates! He will also happily go with you to check out abandoned places!

Mark also loves your sense of humor! He banters a bit with his ability Huck Finn and Tom Sawyer, so he’s the king of banter! Overall, he loves to go on movie dates and creepy dates to creepy places and will be sure to protect you should anything happen!

#fairytailwzard matchups #fairytailwzard matchup #bsd #bungou stray dogs #bungo stray dogs #bsd mark twain #mark twain #death note #matt #death note matt

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cookiesandcustardcreams · 3 years

Text

Quotes from my old school

•“Do you reckon if I talked to my dad nice enough he’d hit me with a bus”

•“His drag name would be Trig Your Nometry”

•“I just want someone to rearrange my guts with a used wooden nazi dildo”

•“Let me cut your hair to give it a bit more volume” “Hayat volume is for stereos not hair” “That’s a bit stereotypical Daisy”

•“Guys you need to grow up and start acting your shoe size” - said by a maths teacher

•“Dickens uses a sensual lexis to describe the food in this scene” - said by my english teacher

•“Can you walk on water cause it’s a Christian?”

•“Wait, isn’t Texas near Scarborough?”

•“Don’t shrimp grow in fields?”

•“Feliz Grannydad”

•“Ouch my livers”

•“It’s been a long week” “It’s nine o’clock on a Tuesday morning”

•“She catfished the King”

•“Having children think you are a goddess while scaring middle aged conservative men is the perfect balance”

•“If you were a state of matter which one would you be? I think Annie would be a gas because she’s like a fairy”

•“Peter are you going to wear a chicken nugget- wait I mean Christmas Jumper”

•“Teenage boys are so weird these days no wonder there’s so many lesbians”

•“I’m beans, bimbo”

•“What will happen if I put hand sanitizer in my eye?” “It will burn your eye out and blind you, you spoon!” “What about bleach?” “Same effect!”

•“I’m sorry I’m just really dead inside”

•“If I fingered myself with a gun would it shoot through my head or chest?”

•“I thought electricity was made by those penguins running on treadmills in Antartica”

•“Is England in England or is it in Scotland?”

•“Greetings and salutations my fellow homosexuals”

•“Sounds gay, I’m in!”

•“If it’s queer, I’ll be near”

•“If it’s homo, I won’t say no no”

•“I’d rather fuck a blender than talk to her”

•“What if I disappeared to a greek island, shagged 3 men in the span of a month, got pregnant and didn’t know who the baby daddy was?” “You’re a lesbian”

#wlw #school #gen z post #gen z #gen z overheard #overheard quotes

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evabellasworld · 3 years

Text

I Give You My Heart

Chapter 3

AO3 Link | 1 | 2 | 3

13+ and above for cursing and mild violence

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Summary: When Riyo Chuchi’s life was threatened, Commander Fox and Jedi Knight Ava Lira and Eva Bella Young are assigned to bring the senator back to her home planet Pantora, where she will be safe from harm. But when the assassin knows her whereabouts, it’s up to Fox, Lira, Eva, and Riyo to work together and stop the assassin.

————————————————————————————-

“Commander Fox,” Palpatine called him, smiling from ear-to-ear. “I see you are here to update me about this dire situation we’re having in Cantham House. Such a shame that Senator Haizan suffered from the worst injury Isn’t that right, commander?”

Fox sighed at his words, and hoped that the Chancellor didn’t notice his frustrations. “Yes, Chancellor,” he answered. “Besides Senator Haizan, Senator Organa, Senator Amidala, Senator Mothma and Senator Chuchi has also suffered injuries from the blast, though it was minor and non-threatening.”

“Yes, of course,” he turned his back from Fox, facing the view of the Coruscanti view from his office, which was on the highest floors of the Senate building. “They were good senators, who served their home world well. I was surprised when they were targeted.”

Fox snickered to himself at his remarks. For one year, he has been going back and forth and risked his dear life to protect the senators from imminent danger, especially Riyo Chuchi.

The first time he laid his eyes on her, she was fresh out of Pantoran University, graduating with a first-class degree in law. Unlike most senators, who were stuck-up towards clone troopers, Riyo gave him a polite greeting, even letting him assist her whenever she ran into some issues that she faced, such as the sliding door incident.

Being only a senator who came from a lower-class family, Fox could relate with what she has to go through with the other senators, except for Senator Amidala. He finds her tolerable, though he wished that she doesn’t rush herself into danger. Fox’s hair even grayed prematurely whenever he had to escort her anywhere, even in Naboo.

But Riyo, on the other hand, he enjoys her company. He recalled one moment when the Pantoran senator accidentally knocked him against the door, causing him a mild nosebleed. She had to wipe the blood off him and loaned him her scarf for a while, which he eventually returned a week after he got them hand washed.

He focused back on the Chancellor, who was expecting an immediate answer from him. “I wouldn’t be surprised that Senator Organa had political rivals, considering the dire situation in the war right now.”

“Senator Organa, having enemies?” Palpatine acted surprised, which Fox could tell from the tone of his voice. “I could hardly believe it, considering that he was well-mannered and persuasive in his speech.”

“There will always be people in the Senate who have bad intentions, Chancellor. Believe me, I had a fair share of incidents with them.”

“I doubt that they had ill intentions against your troops, commander,” he gleamed. “I know everyone in the Senate hall and I find them welcoming and friendly, regardless whether you are a clone or a Jedi, or even the cleaners.”

Fox sighed, knowing that there was nothing he could do to stop the harassment that his brothers and sisters had to face whenever they’re on duty. Just last week, he caught one of the senators exposing himself towards Lieni, who was making her rounds in the Senate building. And a few days ago, his brother Bean was hurled insults after insults that he ended up crying underneath his helmet. The commander had to comfort them and keep them company until the next day, hoping no harm would come to them.

No matter how much he tried to fight for them, all of his efforts were fruitless. He felt that nothing can be done for Lieni and Bean to get the same rights as a Republic citizen, until Riyo showed up in his office one day, with a datapad held close to her chest.

“Well, Fox,” he recalled their conversations together in his office. “I’ve noticed that your brothers and sisters were having a hard time putting up with the senator’s attitudes and harassment, so I thought that maybe we should form a bill that will benefit the clones well to make life more fulfilling for them. What do you-”

“I don’t think the Senate will pass the bill,” he shook his head.

Riyo felt tongue-tied at his cynical remarks on her plans. “Fox, I’m being serious right now. In the eyes of the Republic, clones aren’t seen as sentient at all. You and your siblings don’t have any rights at all, which makes you property of the Republic.”

“I don’t see a problem with that, senator,” he slurped his caf, which was as black as his soul. “The Kaminoans made us this way through their training. We clones just have to get used to it.”

“But don’t you want a better life for you and your siblings?” she raised a question. “Aren’t you sick of your sisters getting ogled by those perverts in the Senate buildings? And how about your brothers? I heard that they were always getting pushed by those lousy senators if things don’t go their way?”

Riyo was right about Fox’s sick feeling towards those who are willing to hurt his brothers and sisters. He’s tired of dealing with his sisters who kept crying of getting forced to do unsavoury things with them. He’s also tired of sending his brothers to the med bay to get treated for their bruises on their face or their body. Fox wants things to get better for them, but it’s an impossible feat.

“I’ll think about it,” he gave her a brief answer, which Riyo replied with a simple ‘yes’ and left his office.

He felt a tinge of regret for disappointing his good friend, but at the same time, he just doesn’t know what to say. Clones being recognized as a citizen of the Galactic Republic? That wasn’t what he was taught. He was just a machine that was meant to kill and die in the battlefield.

In Fox’s case, he was just a machine that was made to put up with bantha shit from senators and people on the streets. He was also made to sign paperwork after paperwork, which made his pass out more frequently.

Thorn and Thire persuaded him to relax once in a while, but Fox find it impossible. Even Lip and Yves, who served under his command, told off their superior officer more than once.

“Of course, Chancellor,” he answered, snapping himself back to reality.

“Good,” Palpatine gave a smug, making his goosebumps sprouts on his skin. “I hope we find whoever is responsible as soon as possible.”

“Yes, Chancellor,” he bowed to him as he got up and left his office. Well, at least I survived my meeting with the Supreme Chancellor, he thought, as he poured himself another cup of coffee. He grabbed his datapad that was placed on the desk and went through the report that was submitted by Chae.

Nothing new so far, he read. The only thing we found was tripwires that were placed in front of the door. Security has found nothing so far. That’s all I can write, for now.

As he grabbed his digital pen, Fox heard his office door hissed opened, revealing to be his fellow commander, Thorn. “Heya, Foxy,” he beamed, much to Fox’s annoyance.

“For the last time, it’s Fox, not Foxy,” he corrected his brother.

“Whatever, Foxy, there’s no difference anyways,” Thorn took off his helmet, revealing a scruffy-looking clone trooper, with winged-pattern on both sides of his unkempt hair. “So, how was your girlfriend?”

Fox gave him a blank stare through the visor of his helmet. “I don’t know what you mean.”

“You’re such an idiot, Foxy,” laughed Thorn. “I’m talking about Senator Chuchi. She was injured by that blast in Senator Organa’s office.”

The Marshall Commander felt his cheek hot by that remark. “Senator Chuchi and I are just friends. You’re being ridiculous.”

“You may be a good liar, Foxy, but I can tell that you have feelings for her.”

“If you don’t have anything important to say, then please get the fuck out off my office,” Fox growled, much to Thorn’s amusement. “I’m trying to do my job here.”

“If you insist, Commander,” Thorn grabbed his helmet and gave him a small salute, leaving him in peace. He took a deep breath and sat down, skimming through the report over and over again. This wasn’t the first time that Riyo was targeted for assassination. Neither was it for Senator Organa and Senator Amidala.

He was assigned to protect them from harm on more than one occasion, especially Riyo Chuchi, since she appeared timid and unable to stand up for herself. But Fox knows her more. He had witnessed her giving a speech in the Senate floors. He had seen her standing up towards anyone who dares to mistreat him and the rest of the Coruscant Guard. Hell, he even saw her gripping on a pistol more than once.

Still, the thought of leaving Riyo alone in her hospital ward doesn’t sit well with him. The assassin hasn’t been caught yet. Chae reminded him that they haven’t found any footage of the person responsible for the blast. As long as they’re still out there, Riyo and the rest of the senators affected by the blast must be protected at all cost. God forbid if they try to lay their fingers on these good senators, especially Riyo.

He opened his drawer and grabbed his comlink as quick as lightning. “Lip, you and Yves in my office right now. I have a mission for you both.”

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beacon-sanctuary · 4 years

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Chapter 2: Class decisions and dorm warfare for the win!

introduction, Ch.1

Note to self: next time Bean and Merlin fight, get popcorn, and maybe grab wall rubble, I’m not a hoarder, scouts honor~

I looked up at the teachers with stars in my eyes, everyone was so cool! Plus, I got a head pat-so that’s even better! Ugh, why’d you guys have to make so hard to choose a class, hmmm let’s put our suspects, up shall we? Looking at the professors, I saw the grumpy Alchemist guy, his pale wood patterned skin shone in the lights above as once more those dang amber eyes of his bore into my mind. Like chill man, how can putting a baton in your jacket be mind warfare?! Huff, he looked so cool during the show but ehhh, too strict for me.

Well, Rasputin’s a no I guess, number 2, Louis Armstrong, seems like a fun guy, buuut I have no musical talent, got two left feet, voice sounds like a banshee bleh, ain’t a good fit. It’s not you Louis it’s me, sorry man. Onto suspect 3, Hobo Billy the kid, chill, kinda dusty, but I’m not stealthy, wouldn’t have light-up shoes if I was after all. Suspect 4 come on down! Here we have Joan of Arc, awesome sword wielder and dealer of cherished head pats, 9/10 we might have a winner here people.

Now onto suspe-oh no megaphone man’s back, just in case, I pulled my beanie over my ears, no hearing loss for me.

“Ah, jolly good show everyone! It was quite a sight to see, I must say, now children, if that display did not solidify your choice-well buck up! We’ve decided to allow our professors the chance to remind you of their profession and the meaning behind each class! And remember no class is better or worse than the ot-”

“Guerillas are best, don’t listen to the loudspeaker” Izusa jabbed in

“Heheheh, Izusa I am glad for your class pride still runs deep, but we are headmasters, after all, we need to be unbiased! Let our bright youths decide for themselves!”

“Unbiased, you have your freaking Knight necktie on” She fired back motioning to his stripped blue silver tie which he straightened.

“Well, of course, one must never forget their roots after all, and even though I myself favored our knights here, this is not-” Before he could finish, a sharp “Shush” interjected. Professor Blum strode forward hand massaging his temple.

“If we listen to this squabble any longer, we shall not move anywhere, and I would like to return to my facility before night comes if you don’t mind.” Fixing his overcoat, the amber eyes of the earth magi quickly returned to the crowd, piercing them with a cool stare as he began to speak once more.

“To you lot” he admonished us snapping his arm, “Listen well, for I shall only say this once. Despite what the news or the media has led you to believe, Alchemists are those who study and pick apart the gears of magic and the world for all its worth.” When he said news and media he spat out each word as if it were venom in his mouth, and as he began to go on, the methodical style of his speech began to ebb more into a stately passion.

“We are no mere scientists, we are alchemists! The fusion of creativity and scientific reasoning to understand, this little thing we call magic. Despite the moniker of “Youngest class,” Human, Magi, or whatever in between that’s shuffled about on this rock has always been curious of this force in our world. Whether you trace our origins to the wizards and warlocks of old, or to the Alchemists of which we’ve gained our title, we are both and neither of our predecessors!”

Pacing a bit, he calmed his voice back down as he continued on, “Were our ancestors simply explored the capabilities or tried to pick apart magic for their own uses, we have a different goal. We carry the light of knowledge, illuminating the unknown for our fellow people so that they may find comfort in said findings. If you choose this path, burn this into your mind! If you have no passion or hunger for finding the secrets of magic and our world, then as soon as you enter my facility, you. shall. be. Gone! I do not want to hear your complaining, “Oh it’s too hard,” or, “ Oh, it’s too boring” for if I see one hint of uninterest in your eyes, I'll throw you out myself! For if you have no passion or drive in your field what is the point of you? Now then,”

After a long sigh, he quietly composed himself, “if you feel this is right for you, step forward now.” he crooned out. And to my left, I felt a rustle beside me Orion groaned up and walked towards the old magi, he gave me a two-finger salute and lazily walked forward. And as everyone saw him go, bit by bit more people stood in front of Rasputin, as each was handed some black clothes in a bag. And as if on cue, a sharp whistle broke the silence, bringing all our eyes on Billy the kid.

“Alright, kiddos eyes on me for a sec’. Thanks to ole grandpa given that essay, I’ll be straight with ya. Guerillas are the rebels, outlaws, anarchists, or whatever they call us now. Where there's some rules we break 'em, were there's laws we go past 'em. We be the judge of those in power, that roarin' flame under they feet that keep our leaders in check. And if they go too far, well, this lil' fire finna burst into an inferno I'll promise ya that. If ya got freedom and rebellion in ya chest. We yo people, see a riot, we in there, see a protest, we in there, and if you see a revolution? Hoo boy, you sure as heck know we in there! We carry the light of freedom and change, always there to stop a leader if they go too far and if they do, we gon' hold 'em accountable and make somethin' new. If my words struck home, we be happy to have ya, welcome to the family kiddos.” legs dangling over the stage the professor watched as the future Guerillas approached, heck even one girl flew up and gave a high five to him. Thanks to her wings, she was an air magi, had some golden-brown wings and storm grey hair, and perched atop the stage as her classmates rushed up too.

At my right, I heard a grunt as freaking Joan of Arc hopped off her pommel and kicked the sword in her hand like it was nothing! Yup, definitely joining her I don’t care what anyone says-Imma be a knight!

“Heh, alrighty, may as well start, hmph” She grunted, holding her sword in a rigid pose. If I’m being honest her face looked like she was constipated “to be a knight you be gallant, focused measured precise and powerful, my children take up arms your calling is nye it is time for a crusade! We shall take back the holy land,Deus vult, DEUS VU-pfffft, heheheh, sorry I had to” she chuckled leaning on her sheath “Oh, that never gets old, ok serious time now” she took in a breath to speak but

“Ah, it seems the impossible did happen, you being serious” Rasputin interjected walking past her, to this he received a light snicker

“Listen I can be serious sometimes, on occasion, when I feel like it, every few years. But, as I was saying before mister essay interrupted me, Knights are old as heck alright, we’re the first beacons, defend people for generations, all that good stuff. But just cause we got knight in our name, don’t mean we’re Chivalrous, glistening warriors who vanquish evil to the ends of the earth that’s only a third of the pie, we’re not just warriors, we’re healers and guardians kids. The sword, shield, and healing hand, we become that light. We guard against the dark and give people a haven. In more than one way! So,” she said resting her sword over her shoulders,

“If you want to be a knight, grab some chainmail and a tunic from the stage and come to my class tomorrow. I’d be happy to have you” She winked strolling out. Yeeep, I’m all in let’s freaking go! I cheered in my mind, but I had a feeling I had a dopey smile on my face all the same.

After that, not much else happened, learned about the other two classes, Artificers, basically artists, builders, and all that fun stuff that entertains or helps people. And seekers, explorers, and stuff, always run headfirst into the unknown and hard to pin down. But by the end I got some bag of clothes and a rune stone. It was a smooth navy-blue rock with a messed-up F burnt into it. It felt warm and hummed a bit in my hand as I turned a bit, it was like a weird magic compass to my dorm I guess, this is so cool! Welp, into your prison-I mean my bag little guy. As I was putting my stone back in my bag, a gun shot made me nearly drop it on the ground.

“Gah! what is this, give Eir a heart attack day?!” I mumbled clamping my stone as Headmaster Ortiz cleared his throat.

“Knights, Alchemists, Seekers, Guerillas, and Artificers, thank you all for continuing in the protection of Human-Magi kind. This is the first step of your journey as Beacons! For even having the courage to step up this far, you should be proud! Bully indeed for you! I already can see great potential in all of you, all I can say is good luck, and may your lights always shine bright.” He finished his final speech and gave us all a hearty laugh and warm smile before walking into the back as Izusa made her way to speak.

“Alright Torches, like the headmaster megaphone said, this is your start, remember you all wanted this, so get ready, tomorrow starts four years of hell, have fun~” she sang away into the darkness from whence she came.

After the speeches of fluff and doom we all dispersed to our new dorms, which for some freaking reason was on the of the fort! School’s in the middle, makes sense, access to everything, but the dorms. At the very edge of the freaking coast, who designed this and where can I smack them with my bag? I’m going helicopter them so bad won’t know what hit them. But still, I walked to my dorm. Weird F rune dash 5 as the stone in my hand vibrated more and more the closer I got to my door. The jade-gold rune patterned carpet sat atop a shining wood floor and the air had a scent of strangely chocolate, and fire?

“Who’s burning something?” I thought aloud, but right as the words came out of my mouth, the wall right across from me shattered as a flaming girl bulldozed through while a hand patted me on the head. Whirling my head from side to side I saw Orion standing besides me snickering at the dragon girl. She had two jagged black horns sticking out of her messy flame like curls. She was short but had a stocky frame, I think I even saw a few muscles if I’m being honest. And as I saw her gold eyes stare daggers at Orion(nickname still pending) a wicked smile seared across her face, disrupting the red scales upon her cheeks.

“Orio get back over here so I can hit ya!” She growled in her rough voice, to which Orion strolled across from me with a playful shrug

“nahhh, don’t really feel like it sunflower, good offer though, you’re getting’ better at em, I’m proud!”

“Tsk, I told ya before, I ain’t no little flower, I am the sun!” she yelled crouching down for probably another charge. Orion chuckled as he held his free hand at his ear

“Uh, say that again white dwarf, I ain’t hear ya~” he teased, and at that my eyes even glared at him,

“Please don’t my ears have suffered enough for a day!” I groaned,

But as at the girl, it seemed like she physically had a tick mark on her head as the whole room heated up to 90 degrees. I had to take off my hat and fan myself, what the freak did he say to make her that mad? But unfortunately, I got no answer as the girl barreled forward with a battle cry. Careening towards Orion before I saw him poof out of existence in a blue flash before reappearing behind the solar magi. He placed a hand on her back and caused it to steam, but what instantly caught my attention was two words that slithered from his mouth.

“Liga Hostem” he said, and yanked his hand back as multiple black and blue chains wrapped around the girl, battling against the fire and the light she gave off. Making the hallway as wicked battle of heat and cold. Gasping from excitement I rapidly said

“You used a binding spell! It’s not the full incantation but that’s still awesome! Wait, your element doesn’t usually go into that unle-“

“let’s save this for later, I ain’t tryin’ be bbq magi over here” to further his point the girl took in a deep breath and bellowed out a stream of flames in the boy’s direction, cursing under his breath Orion slammed his hand on the ground and cried

“Fortifico!” as a black and blue hexagon of swirling void, blocked the incoming flames, and as soon as the barrier was released, the girl charged forward with an knee aimed at Orion’s fac, he rolled back and threw a punch at her stomach, but she brushed it to the side. Back and forth they parried and dodged each other’s blows like clockwork. Oh I wish I had popcorn, this is so good, but sadly before the fight could continue, the door behind me slammed open as I saw a baby face looking Asian guy with, a long, rat tail… Oh its him, time to give him a piece of my wait why is he my dorm mate?!

“QUIET” the pale faced boy roared, on his face was now a pair of jade, metallic looking goggles, and as soon as he looked at the two magi his face grew a face of sheer disgust. “Ugh, just typical of their kind, arrogant and loud beyond measure. You two, cease this disturbance immediately, I am trying to work. “ he screamed in his childlike voice waving a large wrench at the two.

“Hey, angery baby man, shush.” Said angery baby man looked agasp and was about to say something before I said

“Oi, ya owe me an apology from earlier, what was your deal?” I demaded looking over my shoulder

“just my luck, of course I’m roomed with you of all people.” He rolled his eyes

“Me of all people?! Square up baby man, lets go!”

“First of all, I am not, a baby man. My name is Lin Su-Wang, and I am not fighting a munchkin.”

And this is how this went for like thirty minutes, four people either fighting or yelling at each other before, nothing, I really can’t remember what happened afterwards, only thing is I woke up with a pain in my neck for some reason. Weird, buuut yeah, this was one interesting first day.

Day one-completed! :)

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doeeyeddarlingxo · 4 years

Text

Myriad Misadventures - Chapter 5

The Myriad Misadventures of a Midgardian Queen-In-Training - Chapter 5

AO3 | Previous | Next

Word Count: 1229

Pairing: Loki/Reader

Rating: T

Myriad Misadventures - Chapter 5

It’s six o’clock in the morning when your alarm goes off. You don’t half-wake up to slam the OFF button, the way you normally do. Instead, you lie there for a few moments, staring at the ceiling. Seven days. For seven days, you’ve endured the whispers of your classmates, the stares of complete strangers any time you try to go out in public. Five lunch periods during which everyone glanced at you at one point or another, freshmen and seniors alike. Some seem to pity you. Others are jealous, as hard as that is for you to fathom. Apparently, some of your fellow classmates are delusional enough to want to play Buttercup to King Psycho’s Westley.

Or would he be Prince Humperdinck?

You sigh. Why am I spending my last five minutes of peace arguing with myself about whether or not The Princess Bride is a fitting analogy for my life?

“Sweetheart?”

Did I say five minutes? Make that five seconds. “I’m awake, Mom.” Hearing the door squeak open, you pull the covers over your head. “Mo-om, I said I’m awake.” You feel the mattress sink as she sits on the edge of the bed. When she doesn’t move, you peek out, finally shaking off your morning laziness enough to sit up. “What?”

She rubs your foot through the blanket. “I just wanted to tell you that I am incredibly proud of you. I always have been. I couldn’t have asked for a more amazing daughter - ”

“Mom - ”

She shakes her head. “Let me finish. Please. You are so beautiful, and so strong. You’ve always been strong. So feisty. And I’ve always loved that about you, even when you turned that temper against me.” She takes a deep breath, clearly fighting back tears. “I know this isn’t fair. And we’re all scared. But what scares me even more is that we don’t know what happens to the girls...to the ones who don’t win. So I just wanted to tell you, do whatever you have to do to stay alive. You hear me?” You go to answer, but she continues, “I’d rather see you married to that - that - and know you’re alive, than not.”

“I’ll be fine.”

“I know. But you can be a headstrong little thing sometimes. You have pride, and morals, and that’s good, but it can also be dangerous. So if the - the king asks you something, you don’t talk back. You don’t attack any of the other girls. You play by their rules. I want nothing more than to have you back home, home and safe. I want you to have a normal life. But if it’s a choice between being executed and being the king’s plaything - ”

“I get it, Mom,” you interrupt. “Option two. Just, um, stay alive. Right?” She bites her lip, nodding. “I will. I promise.”

Her eyes flutter shut, and a single tear leaks out. “Thank you,” she whispers, brushing it aside before opening her eyes again. She grabs your hand and gives it a comforting squeeze. “Now go get dressed. We’re leaving for the train station in an hour.”

***********************************

You take time to say goodbye to your room, getting just the slightest bit overly emotional. Okay, so maybe more than a little bit; heck, even using your curling wand for the last time makes you tear up. You actually bother with makeup, for once, brushing your favorite eyeshadow over your eyelids, a light stroke of blush blended into each cheek, your eyelashes curly and clump-free. Finally, the doorbell rings, signalling the arrival of your escort. Your family climbs into the provided limo, flanked by two government officials, and you wave goodbye to the neighbor’s dog, watching her run around the yard. I'm going to miss that dog, damn it.

A crowd has formed by the time you arrive, practically your entire town, kept in check by the guards and the stanchions set up. It’s hard to say which goodbye hurts most: as you make your way to the platform, Carlie hanging from your waist, you have to stop every few seconds to blow kisses to your friends. Erik’s hug almost makes you cry, because only a month ago your biggest worry was whether or not he’d have enough time off from school to come home, and now you’re the one leaving. Mom plants a kiss on your cheek before shepherding your siblings back to the car, leaving you and Dad behind.

“So, Bean,” he says in a strangled voice. You do your best to ignore the shouts and camera flashes coming from a couple of yards away. “This is it.”

“Yeah.” He smiles. “My little patriot.”

You can’t help but chuckle at that, and give him a little salute. You were requested to dress in your country’s colors for Transport Day, and you may have gone a little overboard. With your white blouse tucked into a short blue skirt, a la Audrey Hepburn in Roman Holiday, a blue belt, blue shoes, and a red bow in your hair, you’re a walking, talking American flag. “Thanks, I try.”

“You didn’t pick an item to bring, did you?” You shake your head; you’ve been so sick with worry for the past week, you’d completely forgotten. From behind his back, he produces a thick book, covered in black velvet. You glance at it, then look up at him, one eyebrow raised in a question. “It’s a photo album,” he clarifies. “Your mom and I put it together last night. Not sure what kind of stuff we’ll be able to send you once you're over there, so we wanted you to have this. No metal, no pointy edges, so it should get past security okay.”

You turn it over in your hands, running a thumb over one corner. “Thank you, Dad. I love it.” You force yourself to grin. Be brave.

“I’m glad.” He clears his throat. “Look, you know how I feel about this...this whole situation. I want you to get out of there as soon as humanly possible, alright? Stay low, out of...his attention. I don’t care about the money, I don’t care about the throne: first opportunity you have to come home, you take it.”

You let out a sad little laugh. “I know.”

“And if that monster lays a hand on you, you write home and you tell us and we’ll figure something out.”

“I’ll take care of myself, Dad, all right?” You lean forward, wrapping your arms around his waist, and feel him kiss the top of your head. “Love you.”

“I love you, too, Bean.”

I will not cry. I will not cry.

You take a step back, holding the photo book tightly against your stomach. “I should - I should go.”

He nods. “Be safe, Bean. Get home safe.”

“I will,” you call over your shoulder, offering a timid smile to the guard who helps you into the train car.

You watch as, all too quickly, your hometown disappears, watch as the houses and trees and streets turn into a blur of movement. You decide against checking out the photo album - right now, all you have the energy to do is place the book on the empty seat next to you. Leaning back, you close your eyes, wait for your pounding heart to steady itself, and let the gentle vibrations of the train lull you to sleep.

#loki #loki fanfiction #loki x reader #loki fanfic #loki laufeyson #loki/reader #fanfic #fanfiction #reader insert #reader-insert #writing #fiction #myriad misadventures #doeeyeddarling #fish fork

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catsundercherryblossoms · 5 years

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|Ch. 16: Apologies and Accusations| Her Forgotten Past//Attack on Titan Fanfic

I checked the rusty mailbox... Empty. Still no reply.

I wasn't surprised, though. Sighing, I closed it and went back inside the castle.

I'd written three times to Annie. And after weeks and weeks, she's failed to respond to my letters. I'm not offended or anything, but I am a bit bothered. She should know I'm not the best at being 'friend material', so she shouldn't make this any harder than it is. Maintaining friendships are tricky.

I'm sure she's just busy with work in the Military Police. She'll write back soon.

I made my way to the dining hall where we planned to meet. Commander Erwin called a few of us in for a meeting. He said it was to discuss "important revelations". Whatever that meant.

I walked into the dining hall and immediately regretted it. Sitting there was Corporal Levi, at the very end of the table with his cup of tea. And he was the only one here besides myself. I stopped at the doorway, but I knew that it was too late to back out now. He had already seen me. I quickly regained my composure and took a seat at the table, pretending to be unaware of his existence. He seemed to get the drift, and he let out a subtle "tch", looking away and taking a sip of his tea.

Dammit, I thought. Stupid Eren. He promised he would be here early so I wouldn't be stuck alone with this prick.

The silence was awfully uncomfortable. Every minute made me more and more desperate for someone— anyone— to walk through that door.

"Insubordination is a crime."

I looked at the Corporal, though he didn't make eye contact with me. I was surprised he had the balls to break the silence. But I was also annoyed. The last thing I wanted was to talk to him. Yeah, the whole slap showdown was two weeks ago. But my pride still hurt like it was recent.

"Haircuts like yours should be a crime too." I shrugged.

He closed his eyes as though asking the heavens for patience. "Insufferable brat," he said, "you don't get it, do you?"

I stared back quietly. I didn't "get it". Get what?

He sighed. "Insubordination is a crime. In case you've forgotten, you're under our custody only because Judge whatever-his-name-is let us have you. You and Eren are technically still under probation. Erwin would've had to report your rebellious behavior. So I had to make it seem like I had you under control. Either that, or you probably would've served months in prison." He stared hard at the wall in front of him. "Thats why... I did what I did."

I didn't know how to take this. I wanted to be mad at him. I wanted to hold a grudge because its the easier choice. But I also acknowledged that for once, he was being sincere.

"Is this your way of apologizing?" I asked.

"No."

I rolled my eyes and slouched in my chair.

"Its not an apology because I don't regret it. I did what I had to do and thats why you're still here. And..." He raised his tea cup to his lips, mumbling the next part. "I only did it cause I cared."

My eyes widened. Did I hear that correctly?

"I still think you're a stubborn brat." He said irritatedly, returning to normal. "Always putting yourself in danger for others... tch. Hero complex, much?"

I looked down at the table and folded my arms over my chest. "I don't have much to lose." Well... this is getting oddly personal. Where the hell is Eren?

His gaze flickered to me, thoughtful, and then looked away again. There was a ten second pause until he set down his cup with a soft clink. He grunted slightly and a hand went to his left knee.

Oh, I almost forgot. Apparently I'm the only thats going to be doing the apologizing today. "Um, sorry about the leg. Is it any better?" I asked, trying to sound casual and absolutely NOT guilty.

"I should be fine in a couple weeks."

"I know I should've listened to you. Its my fault."

"No need to throw a pity party. Its fine." He said distantly. "I was like you once. Never relying on anyone. Choosing to do things my way. Hell, maybe I still am like that."

I nodded slowly. "Hm. You're a lot easier to talk to than you seem. You know, when you don't have a stick up your ass."

He took another sip of his tea, his expression unreadable. "I'm more human than people think."

The door opened before I could process what he said any deeper. Eren looked at me apologetically, saluted the Corporal, and took a seat right next to me.

"Where were you?" I whispered.

"To be honest..." He laughed softly, "I kind of fell asleep."

I gave him a "seriously?" look, but couldn't hide the chuckle that followed.

"They're late." Corporal Levi said grumpily. I knew he was referring to Erwin and the others that were supposed to attend. "I don't like to be kept waiting. Maybe Erwin is constipated. He usually has a hard time taking a shit."

Eren laughed. Whether because he felt obligated to or because he actually liked the corporal's shitty (pun intended) sense of humor, I wasn't sure. "You're talkative today, sir." He said.

"Don't be stupid. I'm always talkative."

"We could use a bit of casual conversation these days." I said. "You know, with all thats been happening lately. The Survey Corps' circumstances appear to be getting worse and worse... Its strange. We've been exposed to so much in such a short amount of time. It feels like just yesterday we discovered Eren could shift into a titan. Now, with the female titan popping up out of the blue, we find out that he's not the only one?" I rested my chin on the palm of my hand, staring at nothing in particular.

Eren furrowed his brows. "I agree. Everything we've ever known was just a foundation of lies."

"Thats exactly it, though. Will we ever get close to the truth? Every time we get an answer it leads to more and more questions." I said and sighed heavily.

Corporal Levi pursed his lips. "Yeah, well... sometimes the truth is in plain sight. Sometimes you're just too blind to see it, even when its right in front of you."

Those words were simple, but they were weighted with an underlying message that I couldn't understand. I blinked and looked up— looked in front of me— to where he was sitting. His gray irises, matched with the dark circles under his eyes, stood out mysteriously in this dim lighting.

Eren didn't seem to overthink his words, but I did. Before I could press the subject any further, the door swung open again.

Erwin, along with a couple of officials, filed into the room and took a seat at the table. I was surprised to see Mikasa and Armin here as well. They all wore grim expressions.

"We have identified a person of interest who may be the female titan. This time we wont let her escape." Erwin said, cutting straight to the chase. "The operation will take place tomorrow. It will take place in Stohess district on our way to the capital. This is our first and last chance. Once we pass that point, Eren will be remanded to the capital. Our pursuit of those who seek to destroy the walls will become very difficult. Ultimately, humanity stands to go extinct. We will stake everything on this plan."

I sensed the tension building up inside of Eren. I held his hand under the table and instantly felt myself relax, too. He squeezed back gratefully and gave me a small smile.

"Here's the plan." Erwin said, laying out a map of Stohess district for all of us to see. He indicated with his finger, "When we pass through Stohess, Eren will act as a decoy, and lead the target into this underground tunnel. If we can get her to the lowest level, given the tunnel's size and structure, even if the titan transforms we can still immobilize her. But if she transforms before she gets in the tunnel... Eren, we'll need your help."

"Yes, sir." Eren said dutifully. "And the target... are we sure she is in Stohess?"

Erwin nodded. "Yes. She is a member of the military police. It was Armin who arrived at that conclusion," he gestured at the blonde. "He believes the target also killed the two captured Titans. And she's a former cadet of the 104th like you guys."

"Wait... we know her?" Eren asked before I could, surprised.

"The name of the person of interest is..." Erwin straightened in his chair, filling the room with anticipation. He cleared his throat and spoke, "Annie Leonhart."

I couldn't believe this. It was so ludicrous, so far-fetched... Annie? Annie? How the hell did they get enough evidence to accuse Annie of all people?

"You're not serious, right?" I smiled like it was all joke. When they didn't show any signs of admitting to their prank, my smile faded and I leaned forward in my seat. "You're not serious... right?" I repeated gravely.

"Annie is the female titan?" Eren said, shocked. He looked at the one who had uncovered all of this. "Why would you think that, Armin?"

"From the start, the female titan knew what you looked like." Armin said. Both he and Mikasa looked like they'd rather not believe it either. "And she reacted to your nickname, 'suicidal bastard', which only someone in the 104th would know. And the biggest reason is that I believe Annie killed the titan test subjects, Sawney and Bean."

"How can you tell?" Eren asked.

"Only someone very skilled could've done it. And they'd have to use their own gear, one that they're familiar with."

"Yeah, but they inspected our gear the day after. They didn't find anything on Annie!"

Armin took a deep breath, a bit uncomfortable. "Annie brought Marco's gear to the inspection. Thats how she didn't get caught."

"Woah, woah, woah..." I held up both hands. I needed things to slow down. "What does Marco have to do with all this? How would she even get his gear? Unless... unless..." I gulped, the realization impacting me. "Are you accusing her of killing Marco too?"

"Well, I'm just speculating—"

Corporal Levi cut him off, "Hey, kid. We get it. Do you have any other evidence?"

Armin shook his head. He obviously felt pressured.

Mikasa spoke up, "I think Annie's face resembles the Female Titan's."

"Yes, I suppose thats proof enough. Lets hunt down our fellow comrade because she looks like the Female Titan." I said snarkily. But mostly, I was hurt. I didn't want this to be true. Annie, killing all those soldiers on the expedition and causing so much suffering...

It was a hard pill to swallow.

"So we have no proof, but we're going to do it anyway." Corporal Levi said tiredly.

"What if it isn't her?" Eren said, frowning.

"Then she'll be cleared of all suspicion. Simple." Mikasa answered.

"I would feel bad for Annie, in that case." Armin said sadly.

I stared down at my lap, brows knitted together as I tried to process all this.

'You have the power to crush your weaknesses. When you're in danger, you become your own savior.'

Thats what she had said to me the day Trost was breached. We always understood each other. I'd say she knows me a little better than I know myself.

I guess tomorrow we'll find out if I truly know her as well as I thought.

* * *

The Next Day

Stohess District

The alley was dark and the air chilled my body even with the cloak on. I stared at her, the hood hanging just above my eyes. After what felt like a four hour speech made up of lies to convince her to come with us, now there was only silence between us.

"So... you will help us, won't you Annie?" I asked manipulatively.

Annie watched me stoically. She hadn't changed much in the short time we had gone without seeing each other. That gaze of hers remained as icy as ever.

She set down her rifle. I noticed she slipped an ordinary silver ring onto her finger. A good luck charm, I suppose?

"Fine." She said, "I'm in."

End of Chapter 16

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killianmesmalls · 6 years

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FINALLY!!! My con recap is... long. And I’m wordy. And it’s long. BUT IT’S HERE! Below the cut for anyone who is crazy enough to read it all.

Friday:

By the time the weekend really got started, I had already had the chance to meet up with @lillpon Wednesday evening for a last-day-at-work happy hour and then again when she, @justmilah, and @fraddit came over to my place to hang out, watch Once, and put the totally last minute touches on my Tilly cosplay. (Also, BTW, yes I am using nicknames because 1) I figure it’s easier for people to follow along and 2) I don’t know how much some people want their real names to be attached to fellow crazies and sent into the ether.) We ended up venturing down to pick up the car from my father-in-law, and on the way found a meeting place for @queen-mabs-revenge to gather with us. Now, we couldn’t find her, kept checking to see where she might be, when LO, HERE COMETH A TINY ITALIAN IN A BIG MCFRIGGIN HAT. Yes, she was indeed sauntering down 8th Avenue in her Lt. Jones hat, which was probably the 18th weird thing most passing New Yorkers had seen in the two hours since they had woken up.

We then all tackle each other and me, @fraddit, @justmilah, and @queen-mabs-revenge continue on to meet my FIL for the car, where Mabs was super on board with helping him trek stuff from the trunk back to his apartment after seconds of meeting him. Such a polite. Without much ado, we make our way to the middle of friggin nowhere New Jersey, aided by the very comforting fact that Mabs navigates the way I need to be navigated to. Much thanks. Many appreciate. Wow.

Our first stop once we go around in circles a few times since driving in Whippany itself is a damn adventure was to meet up with @thesschesthair. While Mabs is confusing the front desk dude with her hat, Chesty over there gives us a call and I sneak out, lock eyes across the dingy parking lot of the Red Carpet Inn, by its derelict diner, and leap into her arms. She then comes over to attack Milah and Fraddit before properly grabbing Mabs so hard they were close to osmosis.

I’m not going to lie, it’s at this point through to Monday evening where things sort of blur. Mabs and Chesty requested rooms beside each other and GUESS WHAT. Yep, you guessed it, they had rooms that actually were connected by a door that was hidden behind Mabs’s oversized fridge. Oh! And there was a random toilet just hanging out outside their rooms. Because, why not? When Puh Pah has to go, he has to go. Also, it’s here that Mabs gives us all Alice-themed totes from Poundland (YES, LAUGH, IT’S GREAT) and then we do roundabouts again to get to the Marriott where the rest of us are staying.

Registration was a breeze, and then we collapse into the lounge area where we meet up with @theonceoverthinker and an already-registered Chesty, where she and I are off to the side making inappropriate jokes and then deciding it’s time to wine o’clock this con. Guys? The pub in the Marriott got some play by the Pirate Crew (thank you, @freifraufischer for dubbing us all as pirates), we tried their Poisoned Apple sangria, shot the shit, and then went about checking in and getting ourselves settled while at various points meeting up with @captregina, @lillpon, and @freifraufischer.

At some point (again because all is a blur) we went to Chris’s Q&A where I asked him a couple of questions and honestly blanked on most of the experience because OMFGITALKEDTOSMEE. Then Jared came on, was very much however you’d imagine Jared being, and I was still very much focused on Chris saying how much Smee would love Alice and knowing that Colin and Rose day was tomorrow.

Afterwards, we got autographs, where Mabs’s delightful totes came in handy and I had Gil, Chris, and Jared sign the back of the Alice tote. Gil was nice and I complimented Jared on how much him being open about anxiety meant to people, but it was Chris that, to me, was the MVP. He was incredibly personable, funny, and a total teddy bear. I asked him about the blooper he was in where it seemed like Smee was trying to convince Hook to not duel with Ahab (the one where Colin spat in his face) and Chris said he honestly forgot what was happening in that scene, but he would ask Colin. Still, the one thing he did remember was when he knelt down in front of Colin in the post-duel “Congratulations, Captain, you won!” scene, he split his pants. The camera was to his back, but his treasures were on full display in front of Colin.

I also asked Chris for a hug because, I mean, YOLO, and he obliged! Honestly, he’s a damn pumpkin and I adore him.

Now, there was karaoke night after this, but some of us were bad idea bears and decided to say “f--- this” and went into the pool with some sea salt gin Mabs had brought over. We’re super classy, guys.

...What happens at the pool, stays in the pool. :P

Saturday:

OMG COLIN AND ROSE DAY! COLIN AND ROSE DAY! COLIN AND ROSE DAY!

I was legit saying this and hopping up and down I don’t know how many times. I focused most of the morning trying to make sure I had myself together, getting my tights ripped just right, getting my hair done, venturing to @captregina’s room so I could do her hair (where I met @brave-lassie), doing her eyeliner, doing my makeup, meeting up with everyone, and trying to contain my feelings about COLIN AND ROSE DAY!!!

I missed most of the Wild Bunch Q&A in my efforts to get ready and in waiting for Rose’s photo ops. I lined up with Capt just by where the actors enter into the room they do the photo ops in and got my very first in-person look at Rose.

Guys.

GUYS.

That precious angel GLOWS. I cannot say enough how adorable and lovely she looks and is in person, but I will try my best. She’s insanely precious. Honestly, I was probably a walking hearteyes emoji. I try to keep my cool as I wait for her in line, where I’m set to get a picture with her than a shared picture with her and Capt, and the moment she sees me in my Tilly cosplay she exclaims, “NAILED IT!” Then, like a spastic idiot, I told her I couldn’t help myself since she’s my favorite, and she said, “You’re my favorite!” Bless her. She’s insanely personable and tilts her head to you, and is a personified cupcake.

After that, I brought Capt in for a shared picture with her, where we handed her my bunny mask and Rubik’s cube I had made with the help of Lill as we (plus Milah and Fraddit) had lounged on my couch Thursday night. She geeked out a bit over them, I asked her which one she wanted to hold, and she chose the Rubik’s cube, I held the mask, and Capt and I held a pillowcase she had gotten a while back that said, “We’re all mad here.”

Rapid fire they then did Colin and Chris photos followed by Colin and Rose, where all of us collectively lost our minds throughout. There are some pretty stellar ones people got with Colin and Chris, and then OMFG KNIGHTROOK.

Not going to lie, I kind of blanked on it a bit. I just remember saying “hi” to them both, taking a photo in the middle of them, and then ushering in PERFECT TACO HAT LT. JONES MCMABS in for the second photo, where I pulled a crazy face and she pulled that cheesy salute in that pic of him and Bernard.

Then was Rose’s Q&A, and as you can tell she’s still the embodiment of sunshine with a dash of silliness. I must have had a massive smile on my face the entire time in between bouts of laughter.

Before her panel ended, they called for Colin photos, which I needed to get to early because I had Rose’s meet and greet, but HELL NO WAS I MISSING ANY OF ROSE. Nope. So I stayed, then dashed out, and totally thought I’d be fine because…hey, I had already met and touched the man, how hard could this be?

BEING A NORMAL HUMAN AROUND HIM IS IMPOSSIBLE. I just hope I didn’t sound too much like an idiot when I said another hello and asked, “Do you mind if I give you a hug?”

Tired panda just opened his arms and we took a quick picture, and his face was SUPER CLOSE TO MINE and I didn’t know what to do with myself and suddenly that scruff was AGAINST MAH FACE. I think I entered a new plane of existence at some point but remembered I had feed and managed to use them to walk out and not completely venture to a new reality.

It was probably a good thing I didn’t have time to transcend to nirvana because ROSE’S MEET AND GREET WAS NEXT. It got off to a late start since Emilie was still in the room when we got up there, but I’d wait howmstever long for her.

SHE IS AN ANGEL. I mean, absolute, 100%, grade-A, undiluted angel. She makes an effort to engage with everyone and really make eye contact with you, speak to you for as much as she can, and is just naturally her sweet and funny self. She then took selfies with everyone, where I told her my name was “Carrie, like the movie” which is my default at Starbucks because then people know how to spell it. She fake scared and pretended like she was ducking her head and going to walk out, which we shared a laugh at before our picture.

I missed most of Karen David’s panel, but right afterward was COLIN!!! Tired panda did his best to wake up and be his silly, smartass self, bless his heart. I’m so glad he said he wished there were more to the KnightRook story because he feels like there’s more to explore with that and HARD AGREE, COL! Also massive, MASSIVE shoutout to Overthinker for her crazy awesome questions!!! You are indeed worthy of being his favorite!!! Also, props to @the-girl-in-the-band-tshirt for her original question about craft services. Dudes, the things we don’t think about!!! I need to try a grilled cheese with pickles now, that sounds AMAZING. OH! OH!!! AND HE DID THE WORM! AND SANG! How were we this #blessed?!?!

We then had a hot minute (or roughly 30) before KNIGHTROOK PANEL!!! Guys, those two and their dynamic will never not kill me. THOSE TWOOOOOOO!!!! HOW PERFECT ARE THEY?!?! I think their humor together is priceless and she’s like a damn coffee bean to him. It’s a good thing I like odd things because I CAN’T EVEN WITH THEM. (:smirk:) AS IF THAT WEREN’T ENOUGH he goes and kills us with his Millian answer and I see Mabs and Milah vibrating into the ether.

After that is almost immediately autographs, where they had us line up for Colin then head over to Rose. They tucked tired panda behind this black curtain, and Mabs, Capt, and I coordinated getting various things signed for us and others. When I told him something was for someone who had contributed to the Whitecaps charity, he replied, “Oh! Very good.” Then he got my spyglass and went all childishly curious, peeked inside the box, then raised his eyebrow and gave me a smirk.

Then it was off to see Rose, who was taking more time to talk to fans, which is understandable given the fact that Colin had a longer line and Rose also can’t seem to help herself. Chesty gave me her badge so I could get a second autograph, like a friggin champ, and I had Rose sign the spyglass and also had the title page of the manuscript I’ve written (I NEED TO FINISH EDITING IT) and told her it was a 1920s Alice in Wonderland retelling, and I thought having her sign it would be a good luck charm. She sounded super enthusiastic about it and wrote a long note for me on it, which I will for sure cherish forever!!!

OH! And on my way to get into the Rose line, I hear someone say my name and LO AND BEHOLD, IT’S @leiandcharles!!! HUZZAH!!! I probably sounded like a spaz because I was on a Colin and Rose high and was all over the place but she pretended to not be terrified of the insanity that was me… ANYWAY!

It was then time for dinner. With the pub PACKED TO THE GILLS, especially after there was a bomb scare at a nearby hotel so the people there had to come over to ours for a bit, a group of us went up to Capt’s room to hang out and get pizza. I’m probably going to blank on everyone that was in that room, but I do remember dragging Leia there, meeting @coaldustcanary, Overthinker kicking over my drink and being roasted about it by Chesty (still makes me giggle!), and generally being a nuisance with Capt, Mabs, and Milah while Fraddit, and Lill went off to introduce Chesty to Chipotle. It has since changed her life.

At some point we declare we should hang out at the pub again, and a group of us went to go shoot the shit until Mabs passed out right there in the booth (CALLIN’ YOU OUT, POPS!) and everyone was sufficiently either toasted or tired. Some of us then venture up to my room, and shenanigans ensued. THUS ENDETH COLIN AND ROSE DAY!

Sunday:

While I was sad this seemed like a less crazy day for us, I was also a bit relieved because hot DAMN was I tired after the day before. Still, we didn’t have much time to really collect ourselves because the Mills fam gold panel started at 10, so a group of us wandered down to breakfast.

We then get in to see Andrew, Lana, and Bex, where Lana and Bex were of course hysterical together, Andy looked cute, and you could feel the collective vibrating of all Regina and Zelena fans which was adorable. I mean, I love Regina, but there was some LOVE in that room from her Evil Regals. I do wish Andy had gotten a bit more attention or had been a bit more vocal, but it’s got to be hard to not just let Lana and Bex own the stage.

There was then a decent break before Bex’s panel. That woman, as you all likely know, is HYSTERICAL. She kept the room laughing through most of her panel, and you can see she has nothing but love for her fans and her costars.

After her panel, I don’t have anything I’m too fussed about until 2 (MILAH WAS ROBBED IN THAT VID CONTEST, BTW, JUST SAYING) and so some of us gather together for lunch in, you guessed it, the hotel pub! Dudes, our options were limited and it looked like a library and had loaded potato soup. What more do you want?

It’s then time to MEET LANA, where me, Mabs, and Capt try to strategically settle ourselves somewhere out of the way but close enough to the side door to get a good look at the queen as she walks in. And, DAMN, that woman is gorgeous! Me and Capt then leap into the line where she proceeds to get two very adorable photos done and then I get pulled in to get hugged by Lana (!!!!!!!!!) while Capt hugs her from the back. She was super sweet and patient the whole time with everyone, and you could really see how much she loves spending time with her fans.

We then decide some of us need shots because some of us (*cough* Capt *cough*) are about to pass out from being so near Her Majesty’s presence, and then we wander into the ballroom for Henry Squared’s panel. Andy was adorable, Jared was typical Jared. I’ll be honest, I don’t have anything from that panel that seems to stick out to me as a solid memory, though maybe that was the whiskey shot’s fault.

Then comes Lana’s panel and, once again, you can feel the energy of the Evil Regals in the room. For however silly Colin, Rose, and KnightRook panels are, HOLY DAMN Lana panels are just filled with all sorts of emotions! It was like a damn rollercoaster! I laughed, I teared up, I was generally all over the place. SO MANY FEELINGS, GUYS. It was delightful but also made me just desperately need to laugh about fart jokes with my fellow Colin heathens. WE DON’T KNOW EMOTIONS.

Sadly during the following break, it is time to say farewell to the spun sugar that is Lillpon. I console myself knowing I’ll see her again, but it’s depressingly others’ last time with her, but ONLY FOR NOW. Yes? Yes.

Next up is autos with Andrew and then Lana. Andrew was a sweetheart. I was standing next to Capt and Mabs, where we proceeded to tell him how great we thought he was in season 7 and how much that season and his performance in it meant to us and brought back some love for the show. He seemed genuinely touched and said it meant a lot to him to hear that. Bless that boy.

We then wait a bit for me, Capt, Mabs, and Milah to venture up for Lana’s autos. By the time we got to her, we had this whole strategic thing planned out where I’d bring up S7 Hooked Queen, Capt gets her Hooked Queen picture signed, and Mabs gets the word for Capt’s tattoo. Lana says she did expect when they started that she thought Hook and Regina were going to be a thing but alas. Oh! And Mabs tells her that they’ve got family from the same area of Sicily, where Lana proceeds to say they do kinda look alike, and it is now confirmed #fam.

With everything over, we head once again to, YOU GUESSED IT AGAIN, the hotel pub. Chesty and Fraddit have already settled in and eaten, and me, Mabs, Capt, Overthinker, and Milah get ourselves all ordered up where we both mourn the end of the weekend and still buzz from the high the last three days had given us. A series of more shenanigans ensues, and none of us are ready for the weekend to be over. I’m pretty sure we collectively tried to drag it out for as long as possible.

For one last hurrah, we then venture to the pool again and meet up with @reginamotherfuckingmills and @agntreginaskywalker, where we all debrief and collectively laugh about the weekend, in addition to getting all into our feels about how Swan Queen fans and Hook fans are being all chill and friendly with each other. WHO KNEW PEOPLE COULD HUMAN?!

It was a fantastic end to the weekend, and there were more days ahead that involved ridiculous conversations in the car (Thicc Lady and Pointy Boi! Is this Central Park?! etc), meeting Mabs’s ENTIRE FAMILY, hearing Chesty lose her mind several times, enjoying super Long Island experiences with them, Milah, Overthinker, and Fraddit, and so on. Some of us also went sailing on a tall boat later, where we hoisted the main sail and felt like proper pirates! Then there was just general hanging out, but I won’t bore you further with that.

Instead, I’ll bore you with shoutouts!

@lillpon DESCUSTANG!!! You’re such a damn delight. Both sharing a bed and hoisting the main sail with you was brilliant and I love you forever. YOU MET COLIN!!!

@queen-mabs-revenge What are words? I have none. And if I started I’d probably turn into a mess so FARTS BELLY PT CRUISER POINTY BOI FARTS! I’ll probably emotion at some point and send it to you in private and then go run off to watch bloopers or something to get back to some sort of state of normal.

@fraddit SEVEN?! WHAT’S IN THE BOX?! Resting judge face or no, you’re fantastic, I love you, and you’re forever welcome in my apartment! Or basically anywhere with me.

@thesschesthair You funny asshole, I don’t know what I would have done without you to be there to say jokes as foul as mine. You were such a good sport about me being an annoying shit. I’m keeping my fingers and toes crossed we can celebrate your birthday with a Captain Charming shindig!!!

@justmilah You’re so sweet and so funny and just damn precious. I LOVED going to the American Girls store, traipsing around Rockefeller Center, exploring actual Central Park, getting Millian and Knightrook feels in the AMNH, and wasting time at Johnny Utah’s with you. You’re always welcome!!!

@captregina Mah darling! I’m so glad and relieved that you had a good experience! You earned it, and I’m excited to talk about it over brunch with you.

@theonceoverthinker YOU FAVORITE PHD GENIUS! Stellar questions from a stellar person. It was amazing to hang out with you and we should do it again soon!!!

@the-girl-in-the-band-tshirt You’re a precious angel and it was delightful to meet you! I’m so glad you felt welcomed into the fold. But, of course you were! You’re wonderful!

@brave-lassie From one “mom” to another, thanks! Also, you’re a sweetheart and YOU MAKE AN AMAZING RED!!!

@leiandcharles @freifraufischer @coaldustcanary @reginamotherfuckingmills and @agntreginaskywalker IT WAS LOVELY TO MEET YOU ALL! And thank you for being so patient and awesome with some of the shenanigans.

#ouat nj #long mcfriggin post #I WANTED TO REMEMBER EVERYTHING!!!#and i still probably left stuff out

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oneshul · 5 years

Text

Toledote: At Home with Isaac and Rebecca: The Middle Years

(Night in the Desert. Isaac sits alone at a campfire. He drinks slowly from a cup of spiced wine, pokes at the embers of the dying fire, and soliloquizes.)

Isaac: Father is dead; his chief steward, Eliezer, is also dead. I am alone. Alone as a stone. Just me and this—this wineskin (drinks; the cattle low, moo, meh, and baa) Oh, silence, you—you—woolly fools! Fine company you are, for a master shepherd like me…. Where was I?

Ah, yes: Poppa is dead—and how am I to continue his destiny? I have also heard the Voice of El-Shaddai, the Stander on the Mountain, telling me that I will be “as numberless as the stars of heaven.”(looks up; tries counting the stars) two, three, ten, thirty-four—oh, what’s the use? Truth to tell, El-Shaddai, or Whatever You call Yourself, I don’t need stars. No (he drinks). After all (he speaks with the careful grace of the truly inebriated), you can’t herd stars; you can’t shear them; you can’t bring them to market in Rehoboth Square. What I need to know (shaking a finger at the sky) is, who will continue the line after me? My strapping son, Esav, that red-haired rascal, or Little Jacob, my deep thinker, so thin that he seems to slip through my fingers when I try to hug him—that Mama’s boy? O’ Nameless One, what a riddle have you posed me! Whom do You prefer? I wish You would choose—(he waits, but no answer comes). Both earth and sky are silent. Well, well, my Father’s God, if you will not help me here, I must wait, and decide myself—but deciding is not my strong suit—let me think (he drinks deeply of the wineskin, leans back against his pillow-rock, and sings softly): “O then let the cannikin clink, clink, clink/ O then let the cannikin clink/ A herdsman’s a man/ A life’s but a span/ Why then, let the herdsman drink!”(He giggles to himself, and sighs)

(A sound from the shadows. Isaac gropes for his shepherd’s-crook, tries to scramble clumsily to his feet, gets as far as his knees) Who’s there, hey? Come and show yourself! (Rebecca crawls from the darkness, pulling her head-covering back from her face) Oh, it’s you, my dear. Come, come, and sit. Have some wine.

Rebecca: If there’s any left in that ‘skin, you mean. It sounds and smells like you’ve been having more than a bit.

(He carefully passes her the wineskin; she sniffs it, sticks out her tongue in disgust, takes a ladylike sip, and shudders)

Isaac (sounding hurt and defensive): Now, my dear, first off, I haven’t had more than a tiny drinky-poo; and, second, it’s no more than I deserve, chasing those nasty little sheep and goats around a hot desert all day.

Rebecca: While I relax in that hot, black,airless goatskin tent, you mean. It’s no picnic for me either, keeping track of those two little boys. What nine-year-olds have you given me! Little Jacob is a dear, always sticking close by his mommy, but our elder, Esav—well, your beloved hellion, Esav, is always running off, trying to shoot that toy bow-and-arrow at the vultures and ravens.

Isaac: Nothing wrong with that. He’s inherited my hunter’s eyes, that boy: he’ll make us proud, one day, as chief of our tribe. He’ll be as big as my brother Ishmael, wait and see. Just feed him plenty of deer meat, the same way I love it cooked: charcoal-broiled fresh over the open flames, juices running down your chin, and well-peppered, smoking from the fire. That will make him hot-blooded and warlike, just like I—

Rebecca (finishing his sentence): --always wanted to be. You know, Isaac, it would be nice if you would spend some time with little Jakey, too. He’s a born shepherd, your son. He was asking me today about how many foals we can expect the camels to bear, come spring. Jacob has a wonderful head on his shoulders: he can figure numbers without using his fingers, and I want to put him to work calculating how much provender we should buy for the herd, come this winter. I know he will be able to do it, your son. Do you think you could give Jakella some attention, too, rather than spending all your time with Esav?

Isaac (not really listening): Yes, Jacob is a good boy—but quiet. Not like Esav. As God lives, how he came crashing through the tent door that day, waving that poor, half-dead quail he snared, when you and I had thought that we could have some quiet time! Ah well, my dear, we really should be going to bed. Esav will be up at the first cock-crow. And the flocks won’t wait….

(The sound of twigs cracking, as if someone is approaching)

Rebecca: What’s that sound? Oh, Isaac, you’re such a fool! I told you we shouldn’t go too far from Rehoboth Village. Everything we need is there, not out here in this uncivilized desert. The grandchildren of Papa’s deceased servants live there—true, they’re not our servants, anymore, but they promised to protect us. They—

Isaac (standing unsteadily, holding his shepherd’s crook in a defensive posture): Never fear, Dearest, I will stand between you and whate’er shall transpire! I am your rock and redeemer, your shield upon the high places; I….

Rebecca: Oh, sit down, you middle-aged fool: you’re drunk (Isaac’s legs give out, and he collapses, dangerously close to the fire). I will go into the tent, and fetch out the poker. I can stand guard while you sober up. I will bring you some guarana-beans to chew upon. Oh, what can a woman do with such a man? (muttering imprecations in her native Aramean, she goes into the tent)

Isaac (mimicking her): “Such a man”! If only—if only you paid me respect, Becky! (He looks at the tent-flap she entered, to make certain that she cannot hear) A man could be driven to drink by such a woman. Oh, to be young again…. But I will see my boy, my Esav, stand as master over all heaven and earth. He is a brave, bold, redheaded hellion, my Esaveleh. So what if Schoolmaster Sar-Baal does not think him clever as—as—Jacob? My Esav will hunt the deserts and hillsides entire, clothed in the leather of a true outdoorsman. I will buy him the finest sword and buckler, bow and arrows, to be found in Hebron Market. He will be the warrior that I never was—that Mama and Papa—and now, this Rebecca, this bossy female, are preventing me from being….

(Suddenly, King Abimelech of the Philistines and his General, Phicol, come into the light. Phicol is bearing a fiery torch.)

Abimelech: Good Evening, Friend Isaac the Hebrew! What are you mumbling and muttering about? I see you have wine by your side. Any to share?

Isaac (scrambling to his feet, but none too steadily, and bowing): Oh, Abimelech, Your Majesty! What an honor to have you and General Phicol grace my humble tent! The wine? (Phicol has picked up the empty skin, sniffed at it, and tossed it away with a grimace) Oh, forgive me, Your Grace! I was having a little—a little—private party.

Phicol (He is a brawny, bluff fellow, who thinks himself clever, but is a thick-headed bully): By yourself? By Ereshkigal, that were a lonely party, indeed! I tell ye, Isaac the Hebrew, had you told me to, I would have fetched along a couple of our finest dancing maidens!

Abimelech: Aye, now that would have been a party worth drinking at!

(They laugh; after some hesitation, Isaac joins in)

Isaac: What business have you with me, this time of night, Gentlemen?

(The three squat down on their haunches; Abimelech plucks a stem of desert grass and chews on it while he speaks, hoping to create an air of commonalty. Rebecca, meanwhile, a worried look on her face, creeps slowly out of the tent, eavesdropping on the meeting, and concerned about his safety.

Abimelech: Well, Ikey, it’s like this, y’see. I’m hearing rumors—and I’m not saying that they’re true—that your shepherds have been shoveling dirt into our wells (Phicol casually half-withdraws his bronze dagger from its sheathe and turns it, so that it catches the light of the fire). Now, I’m not saying that it’s true, or that it’s not true. But you know, here in these hot climes, water for one’s cattle is rare and precious.

Isaac (suddenly sober, before an accusation): Your Majesty, I can promise you—

Phicol (interrupting): Begging your pardon, My King—to cut to the chase. Now listen, Hebrew. We’ve been letting you people live here, and share the grass of our fields—not that there is all that much. And now, to hear that you’ve taken advantage of our generosity—well, I can’t say I’m surprised. You people have a reputation for all sorts of dirty dealings—pardon me, but I am a soldier, and I speak plainly. Filling in other people’s wells, and such. Shall I bring a couple of squadrons of chariots to attack you, your wife and kiddies? Well, Hebrew? Tell me now, and make it quick.

(He has his dagger out, by now, and is pointing it at Isaac’s throat)

Isaac (fists clenched around his staff, but maintaining his calm and speaking slowly): King Abimelech, may I remind you to muzzle this dog of yours? For hear me, you dagger-bearing loudmouth, I will not stand for this, in the Name of Almighty God!

Phicol: Why, you—

(Phicol makes as if to stab Isaac, but Isaac quickly brings up his staff in one swift movement, , knocking the dagger out of Phicol’s hand, and cracking the soldier on the head. Phicol sinks to the ground, moaning. Isaac stands at the ready to defend himself, holding his staff in front of himself. Abimelech makes as if to pull his own dagger, but Isaac shakes his head, and the king slowly sits down, again.)

Abimelech (trying to make peace): Here now, gentlemen, shall we come to blows over a few blades of grass, a few drops of water? Here, now! Phicol—calm yourself! I say—I order you to retire, Sir!

Phicol (rising and rubbing his head):I do no more than I am commanded, Your Majesty (He salutes, grimaces when his hand touches the lump on his skull, retrieves and sheathes his dagger. On shaky legs, he marches behind his liege king).

Isaac: I will answer, now that I am not threatened—and I declare to you, General: if you bring any armed forces upon my land—land which my father purchased, decades ago, and for which I still hold the deed—I will oppose you, together with four hundred armed servants of my house, and we will defend our homes, our families, and our sacred land. Armed infantry with slings and arrows will be more than a match for your silly horse-wagons. (To Abimelech) Milord King! What do you wish of me, about these wells? As God lives, they are mine: my father dug them, and I maintain them.

Abimelech: We ask only—ask only—that you share them with us. That is—is all.

(Phicol,standing behind the king, is fuming, but silent, and rubbing his aching head.)

Isaac: Done and done. We are, and will continue to be, good neighbors, Your Majesty. We will dig up and clear out the wells which (looking sharply at Phicol) your soldiers vandalized, by filling them in. However, I will direct my warriors—that is, the protective detail that I will appoint to guard these selfsame wells—to take direct action if your forces threaten them. And, with all due respect, Majesty, do not mistake my courtesy for weakness. Good day (he turns on his heel, and, seeing Rebecca, continues). My Dear, I am sorry that our guests are called away, or they would enjoy some of your homemade—raisin wine, is it? (He hands her his empty wineskin)

Rebecca (staring at the wineskin, and at Isaac): Yes, Husband—I mean, no. (To Abimelech and Phicol) I am sorry that you must leave, Gentlemen; but, my husband is very decisive about these matters. He has more important business to attend than—than yourselves. Good day. (They exit, leaving Abimelech and Phicol alone)

Abimelech (exasperated): Well, I never! These—these—Hebrews! The nerve of them!

Phicol: What did I tell you, Majesty?

Abimelech: Oh, shut up. Can’t you even threaten a man properly? What do I pay you for?

(They exit, unhappily.)

Rabbi David Hartley Mark is from New York City’s Lower East Side. He attended Yeshiva University, the City University of NY Graduate Center for English Literature, and received semicha at the Academy for Jewish Religion. He currently teaches English at Everglades University in Boca Raton, FL, and has a Shabbat pulpit at Temple Sholom of Pompano Beach. His literary tastes run to Isaac Bashevis Singer, Stephen King, King David, Kohelet, Christopher Marlowe, and the Harlem Renaissance.

#progressive judaism #judaism #jewish #torah study #drash #toldot #toledote #parsha #weekly parsha #rabbi david hartley mark #shabbat #shabbos #sabbath #oneshul

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