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jacksprostate · 4 months

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Tyler is hopping around on his pogo stick again. When he lands, it's with a mushy thump as he sinks into the rotting floorboards. Sometimes he gets stuck and just tips over instead of bouncing back up. It makes him stumble and jump ship. Moment of perfection ruined.

I need to renew my driver's license, I say.

"What are you telling me for?"

Thud.

If Tyler's bed had a backboard, this is how it would sound before he and Marla pounded through to the next room.

I am Jack's throat of bile.

"Fine," Tyler says. "We'll go."

I do not say, we? Questioning Tyler is an amateur move I've managed to avoid for two months now.

Getting to the DMV takes three buses and a thirty minute walk. Presumably, they've decided you'll be driving there. Sometimes I think about the Audi I had before my Dakapo halogen torchiere speared it. One of Zeus' modern day lightning bolts, making sure the debris from my exploded condo totaled my car.

I could've gotten the windshield replaced. Somewhere, in a junkyard filled with unloved 50s salvage, there's the crushed up cube remains of this year's luxury sedan.

Tyler spends the entire time walking one half step behind me, making me lead him around. It makes me feel blind, like I'm a thirty year old boy still trying to get his father to take him places. I am the world's most easily played instrument. Whenever I look back he's grinning, chipped teeth and split lips.

It's a Saturday and we've arrived two hours or so after opening. This means that when I get my ticket stub, it reads an obscenely high number. I will be sitting here for the next six hours. Give or take.

The thing about seating in a government building is they know you have no choice to be there for at least two hours, if you're lucky. Naturally, the chairs are cheap, yawning plastic bolted into the floor at a height most optimal for slightly tall seven year olds.

Tyler and I toss ourselves into the only two person gap we can find, between a large man giving Bob a run for his money on hormone reversal and a frail woman in her eighties. Both look like I'd see them on a weeknight. I wonder if this is where Marla lurks in the time between when she's fucking Tyler and fucking up my support groups.

"You don't need this shit," Tyler says.

He's slouching into the chair, arms crossed and legs long and in the way. If I were to look where his shirt is rucked up, I'd see his skin disappear into the dark gap between his chiseled hip and the beige slacks he puts on when he pretends he's pretending to be a nice person. It's an obvious farce, since he hasn't even bothered to put underwear on.

This is one of those things that I try not to think too hard about, but I have something like four hundred minutes left to wait around here. I should've brought a few National Geographics.

I need a driver's license for my job, Tyler, I say. The old woman gives me a look.

"Christ." Tyler spits on the floor. I try not to be jealous. My seat neighbor, she gets right up and goes to the other end of the building. "Just roll over, why don't you."

I can tell, this will be a lesson. He gets this huge sureness about himself, like his dick is so big it's slapped his face into that smug false contemplation.

I need some kind of ID, Tyler.

Tyler says, "No you don't. Your bank already has you by the balls with your social security number. You ride the bus around. You're at the airport so often the airline staff recognize you. You only drive when work sends you to a small town, which happens fuck all three times a year. Tell me, you get a good fake, you think the overworked and underpaid car rental employee writing down your information would notice it unless you crashed his car? You know if that happened it'd be because you did it to kill yourself, so where's the problem?"

You could be a perfect driver and die on the road at any second, I protest.

We're attracting attention. Not Bob shifts around. Our conversation is quiet but unnerving.

Tyler says, "Does it feel nice, signing yourself up like a feedlot steer?"

Fucking hell, Tyler. It's not like anyone wants to do this. No one wants to be here. Not everyone can work three night shifts and have no identity according to the government.

Tyler says, "The only thing stopping you is the little set of rules you've set up for yourself."

What does Tyler know about my ability to do things?

"More than you," Tyler says. "You didn't think you could fight. You didn't think you could live without your perfect IKEA nest."

He's right. I still want to kick him to the floor and introduce his teeth to the tile. I notice, Not Bob has cleared the area. Retreat to safety. Bomb detonation in five, four. We've got a three seat berth on each side with people standing packed against the walls of the place.

A lone security guard floats our way.

"I'm going to have to ask you to leave, sir."

It's not the way that the men at fight club have started calling me sir. The security guard is looking at me like he knows about my condo blowing up, and he feels awfully sure about the cause.

I need to renew my driver's license.

Tyler says, "If we pay taxes for this building, these workers, doesn't that mean we pay your salary? You're going to kick out your kindest boss?"

"If you don't leave, I'll have to call the police."

Tyler says, "Can't even do it yourself?"

I think, every second of this day has been excruciating, and I have been awake for 77 hours.

Tyler socks the security guard right in the jaw, and the crowd goes wild.

It happens like this: Tyler hits the security guard with all four knuckles, all the people start screaming, and the security guard goes for his gun. I am standing in the middle of this hurricane, calm like a baby that's just been left in the car in 90 degree weather. I start walking.

Behind me, Tyler wrestles for the gun. He tosses it towards the kiosk that spat out my waiting ticket. He lets the security guard hit him in the gut. The face. The face again. He's on the ground, bloody spit threading his rebroken smile, and the security guard is kicking him in the gut. Tyler curls into a ball, the security guard kicks him in the kidneys. This will give Tyler bruises like size thirteen boots and make him piss blood for three weeks.

I reach the door, and Tyler's crawling after me. The security guard has come out of his haze, and now the crowd is staring at him. The headline: local DMV worker brutally bludgeons mentally ill constituent. People stare at him, now aware of the violence he is capable of. They wonder. He wonders.

Tyler limps out the door. We get on the bus and the driver stares at us and does not make us pay when we walk past him to the seats. The driver had a black eye. We saw him at fight club last week.

We sit, and I tell Tyler, because of him I'm definitely on a list now. Like they had for all those communists, but now it's for schizophrenics who might bomb their local state Department of Motor Vehicles location. I tell him if I get a letter saying I have to show up in court because I beat up a government worker, I'm sending him, and he can have fun explaining that to whatever rancid old judge presides over our case.

He laughs, and laughs, and laughs.

#fight club #my writing #this ones a little long actually. one day i'll probably put all these on ao3 #inspired by me recently having to do govt stuff. wasnt this but its what i could think of something coming up 4 the narrator #ftr “chipped teeth and split lips” is where my brain was like. :) done!#like no. theres more to be done here

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prettymrswright · 6 months

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drake & drive

tank full of gas

fill up my cup

see, where could i function?

can i pull up?

i need a buddy

it don’t hit home

‘til i’m alone, now

you know wassup, drake’n & driving..

pairing: riri williams x black!fem reader

content: angst under-tones, smut-leaning (18+),slightly toxic!riri, substance use (weed & liqs people, no hard drugs), flashbacks, intoxicated confessions, emotional conversations, riri is a lover-girl indenial, reader can make ri jump through a cheerio with little to no effort.

background: riri tugs with her feelings after the dragged out will-they-won't-they troupe going on between you two. her trust issues won't allow her to fully commit, but now she's wondering if she'll be regretting that decision.

a/n: my first ri fic, this is my baby! speaking of, shout out to my baby @dejaonline for the collaborative efforts on the picture as well as her input on the plot. this was made with her in mind, fully inspired by her (she's a riri girl🤭) and this song that has crack ROCK in it. i hope you guys luvvv, and as usual, i gotta remind y'all;

taglist is pinned to my page! if you want to be tagged for someone specific OR if you wanna opt out of any tags, gone fill out that form for me. taglist: @dejaonline @inmyheadimobsessed @kisskourt @ventingfanfics @saintwrld @vampzxi @vixentheplanet @pinkwright @sapphicvqmpires @verachii @shuriszn @shurislover "aight, nigga, you gone be upset when i take your money again," ri laughed, taunting her bestfriend, key. "yeah, yeah just put up, mf." key takes out his cash and begins counting it. every year at the fair, the two of them would place a bet on who would win at balloon darts, a tradition stemming from a conversation on who has better 'aim'. they walk up to the post and place their tickets down. "yo my man, set us up real quick," ri called out to the older gentlemen behind the counter. he turned around, eyes meeting with the two, and laughed aloud dropping his head. "you two, again. y'all are something else," he says, still smiling, setting down two pairs of 6 darts for them each. "this is for my redemption, unc, this is personal," key says, picking up a dart and practicing his form. "i won't be losing again." "yea, we'll see about that." ri laughs. "you know the drill," key starts. "most balloons in 5 rounds wins. price goes up by 5, we at 20 bills this year." ri picks up a dart and tosses it straight through the middle, popping her first balloon. "yo!" key exclaims. "you on some cheating shit, we ain't even count down!" "you talking too much, nigga," ri shrugs him off, making the attendant laugh once again. the two of them went head to head, leading up to them being neck to neck in the final round. going back and forth through both hits and misses, key set off his final dart, popping a bright blue balloon right at the top, ultimately beating ri. "let's fucking go!" key yelled out, doing his lil victory dance. ri stood with a strong, angsty pout rested on her face, as the sore loser she was. "whatever, nigga," ri rolled her eyes and slapped the andrew jackson faced bill in key's hand. key takes his prize and extends it out to ri, mocking her pouting. "you can have this bear!" she smacks his hand away from in front of her, almost making him drop it, causing him to burst into laughter. .. the two of them walked around the park, snacks in hand, taking a break from their previous festivities. after hearing/feeling a ping, key takes his phone out his jean pocket and opens the text.

“come on,” key motions ri.

“where we going?” asks a puzzled riri.

“over by the ring toss,” he points. “i got a good friend of mine i want you to meet.”

“ughhh,” ri heavily groans. “your social, friendly ass. why we always gotta be around people, why can’t we just kick it, just us two?”

“i know, i know, my bad, ri,” key says throwing his hands up. “but i promised her i would link her once we were in the same area, and it so happens that was this. it won’t be for long.”

“man, whatever,” an aggravated riri puffs out. “just don’t expect me to be miss congeniality or no shit.”

“you a trip, ri,” key lets out a hearty laugh. “be nice, please.”

the two made their way over, meeting with two girls, one brownskin, sitting at about 5’5, one darkskin at 5’3.

“wassup, key!” you smiled warmly, embracing your old childhood friend.

“it’s been a long time,” key smiles back.

“yes it has,” the girl beside you intercepts. it was your best friend val. she went to school with the two of you as well, and has a had a crush on key since then.

“oh, shit, val!” key basically runs over to hug her. “damn, girl, where you been!”

she giggles at his excitement. “i’ve been around! back and forth from study-abroad in italy.”

“okay, i see you, you on your shit! that’s wassup,” he daps her up.

“thank you.” she smiles, the two of them allowing their hands to linger in holding position.

feeling the tension building, you clear your throat, not being able to conceal the smile that was creeping up. the two finally pull apart and pretend to straighten themselves out. your eyes shift their attention from key and val and found themselves attached to a small girl with braids, standing to the left of key and directly across from you.

“oh, shit, my bad,” he apologizes and places his hand on the girl’s back. “this is my best friend, ri. ri this is val and y/n.”

she didn’t seem very interested. her eyes were glued to her phone in her hand, and her body language was very stand off-ish.

“hey, wassup.” she says without looking up. that was very rude of her. key didn’t roll with rude people. to give her the benefit of the doubt, you just summed it up to possible shyness.

key aggressively taps her back, forcing her to look up, a stern look on his face.

ri finally looked up and could feel her entire body freeze in place in the middle of the 95 degree weather. you were the most beautiful person the young engineer had ever laid her eyes on. your glowy, rich, melanated skin, your mocha brown eyes, the long, thick lash follicles that decorated them. your thick, curly hair that surrounded your skull in but a very small fro. it was as if you came straight out of a magazine, 90s edition. you being taller than her didn't help the fact that she felt as though she was looking up at a goddess. "hi," you gave a nervous laugh, in attempts to mask the awkwardness of the situation. your smile. so big and so warm. could light up an entire room. your lips, the perfect shape. they even had a brown tint around the circumference of them, naturally being lined. everything about you was mesmerizing to ri. if she stared any harder or any longer, she probably could count each follicle of hair rested on top of your head. "hi-i, um.. my bad, I'm--" ri frantically began looking for the words to appease the awkwardness, and stumbled on almost all of 'em. "ri. right? key just said it," you help her out, quietly giggling to yourself. not the strongest start. but she was cute. "right. and um--" she begins, and you already know she's getting ready to ask you to announce your name.. again. "Y/N. you aren't the best listener, are you?" you taunt her, a smile on your face. "oh-- nah, my bad, i just.. got a lot on my mind, today, that's all." ri lies, wiping the sweat forming on the back of her neck off with her palm. "right," you laughed, somewhat condescendingly. you turned your attention back to key. "y'all got plans for the rest of the night?" "yes," ri rushed out. "nah," key answered simultaneously, both of the friends' responses mending over each other. key shot ri a look before continuing his sentence. "we just freeballing, doing shit as we go."

ri was irritated. she wanted to spend time w her boy, and not only is their one on one time being interrupted, here was this pretty, saddity chick getting smart at the mouth. making her look somewhat of a fool. not knowing, the young prodigy could do that all on her own. she'd be lying however, if she said she wasn't intrigued. "have you guys gotten on the ferris yet? i gotta get some good selfies at the top. you know, influencer shit," val says, comedically. "nah we haven't, we could head over now before the line gets long," key suggests. "sounds good. don't worry, ri, after this, we'll be out your hair." you flashed her a quick smirk, letting her know you were aware of her irritation. and out of her hair, you weren't. you were in her hair. in her brain. in her life. in her room. in her bed. she couldn't escape you. but this time, she didn't even want to.

the follow months after your initial meeting, the two of you had quickly became inseparable. it started out with exchanges of memes, followed by texting all day, then tying up the phone, falling asleep on facetime. eventually those things led to dates, and sleepovers..and hookups. the two of you were enjoying yourselves, no doubt. it was as especially hard for ri, however. ri didn't do the relationship thing. she did it once, got her heartbroken, decided that wouldn't happen again. and it didn't. miss love 'em, and leave 'em she was. but you. you made her think. you made her learn and explore parts of herself she didn't even know existed. you made her feel important. powerful, even. naturally, she didn't know what to do with that influx of new feelings and information. so she did what any confused and slightly scared person would do; run. it was hot and cold with riana williams. one day, she made you feel loved and on top of the world. other days, she made you feel like you killed her cat. and you'd think the mixed signals would be enough for you to do way with it altogether. but when riri loved on you, it felt as if there wasn't anything you could not do. it was very clear and obvious that the two of you brought the absolutely best out of each other. you complimented each other so well, in every way. same interests, same ambitions. you even mimicked each other's mannerisms. when it was good, it was so good. but the more serious it got, the more at stake your feelings were.

she would constantly remind you. how much she would not, could not, be in a relationship. how much she didn't see the point. how much of a waste of it time it was. besides, she couldn't have no love shit fucking up her focus. what was understood, didn't need to be explained. and if she didn't remind you with her words, she sure as hell reminded you with her actions. until one day, you were pushed past your limits.

a half-asleep, sluggish riri, lugged her body to the door after hearing a 4th round of hard knocks ricocheting off of her door.

“who the fuck is bangin’ down my shit,” she cussed to herself.

“i’m comin’, damn!”

she swung the door open to be met with a drenched from rain, and very angry you.

“what the fuck, riri.” you semi-yell.

“woah. what happened to you?” she genuinely asked, moving over to let you inside.

“what happened to me?” you scoff, with shock at her audacity. “you were supposed to pick me up over an hour and a half ago, ri.”

“oh, shit.” ri’s face dropped at her realization. she was supposed to pick you up from school, as she promised. all public transportation was delayed, and it was entirely too pricey to uber. “my bad.”

this is the 3rd time she forgot.

“your bad? it’s horrible outside ri. you weren’t even a little concerned about my whereabouts?”

“I said my bad, y/n, damn, what you want, a love letter?” ri spat at you.

“I can’t believe you.” you laughed to yourself, almost fully in disbelief of what was going on right at that moment.

“it’s common fucking courtesy, to come to your girl’s aid when in need, but your promise? which I didn’t ask for by the way, then made it a responsibility. and you failed to show or do either.”

“man, whatever. you got here all on your own just fine, ain’t it? what, your side nigga came and got you, hm?”

“you are un-fucking believable. naturally this is my fault. you know what I am sick and tired of your shit, you must think I’m some sort of d—“

you were interrupted by a voice following behind riri, accompanied by footsteps.

“ri, who’s at the door? come back to bed.”

immediately your entire body froze in place and your eyes began to well up on command, against your will. everything went still. the silence that filled the room could be sliced with a razor. your eyes met with the girl standing behind riri, her tall, slim, athletic build wrapped around in a silk robe. then shifted to a guilty riri, staring at the floor in shame. "fuck." she let out a guilty whisper. so this is what she had been doing. why you had been left out in the cold rain, damn near across town. fucking other girls, occupying her time with things that were clearly more important than you. "i-is, this your gi-" "nah, she not." ri says rather quickly, not even letting whoever this girl was finish her question. your bloodshot-red eyes darted to the young engineer with a piercing glance. she gave you back a shrugged off look, seemingly in attempt to double down on her answer, just this time with way less confidence. once processed what she'd done, guilt sprung onto her again. you turned around to head bolt out the door. "y/n--" ri attempted to stop you, to say god knows what. the pain you felt was venomous. you just needed to get out of there. "fuck you, riana." your harsh and emphasized words slicing through her one syllable at a time. you left and never turned back. as hurt as you were, you refused to put yourself back through the emotional turmoil again. you were aware the two of you weren't in a relationship, and be that as it may, if that were the case, boundaries should have been set on what you two should and should have not been doing. and being that they weren't, you and your feelings got wrapped in all of ri's sweet words, and dramatic love professions and believed that maybe her mind would change. you'd been hurt before by her, but never like this. you'd never dream she'd go as far as this. ri's guilt and regret was eating her alive, bit by bit, piece by piece. she loved you. she knew it, you knew it. however, her self-sabotaging ways would not allow her to flourish in love, or damn near anywhere else. she called and called, and texted and texted till her phone glitched out. she sent letters to your house. once you blocked her, she texted and called from other numbers. she even popped up at your house on a couple occasions to no success. she looked crazy, hell, she FELT crazy. after awhile, she decided it'd be best to leave you alone, give you your space.

i mean, maybe this just proved it. how unworthy she was of love, of you. so she did what she knew best. she slept around, girls in and out her house. she sold promises and dreams. she did any and everything to distract herself from the fact that she is downright, indubitably, outrageously, in love with you. and no matter how or how much she tried to fill that y/n shaped void, it would never suffice. months would go by, and all her shenanigans would come to a cease. no matter what she did, or where she would go, she would think of you. everything reminded her of you. every song, every show. as much as she had fucked this one over, she so badly wished to just see you once more. at least to apologize properly. ri wasn't the type to vent or be vulnerable, but if it was anybody she would do for, it was you, and key. key wouldn't hear the end of it. but he would never fail to let her know how bad she messed that one up. key was supportive always, but he would always hold you accountable for your shit. you'd been away on a study-abroad trip in germany, growing, flourishing, in more ways than one. you weren't really tripping about love. you'd been seeing people here and there, but it really wasn't your focus. this past weekend would be your last weekend, and you'd be heading back home to your city. ri and key were chilling in her living room the day of your return, having a regular weekend kickback, talking shit, shooting dice, you know, regular best friend shit. "how many times i'mma tell you, you can't beat me in no strategic shit, no day," key says laughing, picking the money they had both put up from off the ground. "man, whatever, you just got lucky," she playfully nudges key's shoulder. ri takes out her phone, and opens her instagram, going through some stories, when she gets to val's story. when she clicks the pink/orange ombré circle, she sees a boomerang of you, throwing your hands up, jumping next to your suitcase, right in front of the airport, with the caption, 'my best friend's back in town!!! mimosas on me :)'. it had been posted 4 hours ago, so you had been back for a little time. she wondered if she should mention it. just in the case that key knew anything. "so um.." she started. " i hear y/n's back in town from her trip.." "aw man, don't start that shit, leave that girl alone" key says shaking his head. ri immediately sucks her teeth, in annoyance, as if she wasn't trying to pry. "nigga, what you mean, I can't make a statement? I just said I hear she was back, not I was gone go hunt her down, damn." defensive she was. cuz it didn't all the way sound like a bad idea. "yeah..aight," key semi-chuckled at the defensive girl. "yea i think she just got back this morning."

"from a school trip, or some shit, right? that's wassup." ri plainly expresses her pride for you.

she looks back down at the post being held captive by her thumb, just examining you. you were glowing. your skin was radiant, hair growing, shape filling out; you truly looked— happy.

riri didn’t wanna get in the way of that. she just.. wanted to be another reason that you were happy— for real this time.

“fuck it,” ri thought to herself, deciding that she would finally reach out. on some calm shit though, you know. if she got rejected, she got rejected, at least she tried.

looking at the time it was 9 almost 10 o’clock, and she decided that if she was gonna make any type of move, it would have to be right now and while she was by her lonesome.

“ahhh,” ri stood up, fake yawning into a fake stretch. “aight my nigga, i’mma head out. i’m super tired, I’mma make it a early night.”

“naaa, already? you whack! what happened, can’t hang no more?” key teased, initially not realizing why it was she really was eager to leave.

“it’s not even like that,” the small girl started. “i just got stuff to do, that’s all.” she got up and gathered her things before semi-rushing out the door.

“mhm. leave her alone, ri!” key says mid chuckle. he could always figure her out.

“bye!” ri slammed the door shut and rushed down the steps and over and into to her black 2022 kia sedan.

she takes a deep breath and huffs out an exhausted sigh, juggling the thoughts of you through her mind. she unlocks her phone and goes to your contact, examining the details with her warm cocoa brown eyes, the same name and picture there from when you were ‘hers’.

after going back and forth for 20 minutes she finally presses the ‘imessage button’ and goes to text you.

5, 10 minutes go by and she’s a nervous wreck. ‘fuck,” she thought to herself. “i should’ve listened to key, i should’ve just left her alone.’

she goes to delete her message and the thread until she saw your text bubble pop up.

you, 1 not having her blocked, and 2 responding in the first place was a green enough flag for her. she decided she needed to see you. she had to see you. all this courage being built up by her own delusion needed to be acted on immediately, without a second wasted, or else it would continue eating at her.

‘can i pull up on you?,” she sent. before you could even respond, she came anyway, and parked a few houses down.

as she awaited your response, she reached in the back seat, bringing in front the black plastic bag with a bottle of don julio, a carton of lemonade, and two ice cups she had previously bought that afternoon for her and key.

her nerves were certainly jumpy, so she decided she would sip a lil something, just to take the edge off. she poured the liquid courage and the citrusy chaser into her ice cup, and sipped directly from the rim, neverminding the straw that was placed in the bag.

remembering the j she rolled that afternoon also, she takes it out her pre-roll case rested in her cup holder and lights it ablaze. after blowing out the potent flame, she lifts it to her aquaphor’d lips, cl and welcomes the wavelength of smoke through her mouth/nose and into her bloodstream, french inhaling with shut lids.

no matter how badly she wanted to see you and talk to you, she wasn’t confident in having too sober of a conversation, in fear of her thoughts consuming her and her fucking this up once again.

she felt all her muscles and joints slowly relax into each other, the smoke parading through her system. involuntarily, it was beginning to arouse her as well, but those feelings would have to take a backseat on this one. she wasn’t on that, tonight. I mean shit, if you was, but her main focus was getting her lady back. at least the best friend portion of you.

after her 4th pull, her phone buzzes in her lap, and she almosts drops the blunt trying to get to it.

you lived about 10 to 12 minutes away from her, so that’s roughly how long she lingered down your block, trying not to look so desperate, but fuck it— she was.

desperate to hear your voice again, to smell your warm vanilla and musk scent, to hear your laugh, to hear you call her, ‘riana.’ in that stern, warning voice.

‘i’m out front.’ she sent her final text before she would see you for the first time in months.

ri began to get even more jittery, her hands and the back of her neck producing sweat quicker than normal, awaiting your arrival. she couldn’t tell if it was her nerves surrounding the situation, her being cross-faded, or both.

after what felt like forever, there you were. even more beautiful than remembered. she watched intently as your toned figured came walking down your brownstone, and forward to her car.

your now grown out, awkward length hair, tucked away into knotless braids fell down to the small of your back. a light grey short-sleeved cropped tee, lettered ‘brat’ in black letters, decorated your torso, black cotton shorts hugging your hips. your feet placed in white socks and dark grey yeezy slides.

you approached the vehicle, more at ease being that she had illegally dark tints on her windows, preventing you from seeing her see you.

you opened the door, and as soon as you entered, all the memories came floating back instantly. the lights on the roof, the smell of weed and baccarat rouge mixed together, her hand rested on her lap, thumb and ring finger through silver ring bands. her seat laid all the way back. her looking at you like— that.

“hello, riana,” you say plainly, in a joking way.

“hello, y/n,” she replied, smirking inbetween the sentence.”

it’s silent for a second, before you decide you didn’t want this to be awkward, no matter how you felt previously. you made the conscious decision to fill up the air.

“so,” you began. “i’ve been summoned. what’s going on?”

“well don’t say it like that,” she replied. “I just wanted to check in, make sure you was ‘aight.”

“oh please, riana williams, check in?” she laughed in disbelief. “checking in tonight of all nights? it’s been months.”

“i mean shit, iono what you got going on,” she began, slowly leaning into what she knows best. mess. “you probably been up under some nigga or some, why would i interfere in that?”

“okay,” and that was your cue. immediately you get irritated and reach for the door, preventing this from going any further down the sinkhole.

“okay, okay, wait, wait,” she tugged on your arm restricting you from moving.

“no, riana, it’s always the same shit with you. this is what you called me outside for?” you spat.

“no! no, i’m sorry, I— i’m just,” she breathed for a second, trying to get herself and her words together. “I’m working on it. I’m a work in progress.”

you scoffed and folded your arms, leaning back in your seat. “yeah, okay.”

“i’m serious, y/n/n,” she called your nickname given by her. one you haven’t heard in so long, yet the sound of it was so familiar and so sweet on your ears.

“I did, and said a lot of fucked up shit to you, when we were together, I can admit that,” her intoxication began to aid the word flow out of her brain and through her vocal cords.

“together? i was never your girl. remember? those were your words.” you shut down her insinuation.

“and that was another mistake I made, if not the biggest. i should’ve made you a priority and stayed consistent, I’m sorry, y/n/n. you deserved way more than I gave you,” her confessions began to roll out slowly but surely.

hearing her words and the sincerity in them made your eyes fill up with tears, playing tug of war with your need to stay tough and the need for release. to take that weight off your chest.

immediately she senses the tension around you and places her hand on your thigh and grips firmly.

“well, why’d you take so long!” the jig is up. the pain is all throughout your voice, tears beginning to flow out. “why’d you take so fucking long to realize that, riana?”

“y/n—“ she begins, fighting her own tears herself.

“i loved you. i love you, I’d give my last to you, you made me look like a fool and I STILL chose you. you’d make me feel like I was on top of the world and the next minute you’d rip the ground right from underneath me. and crashing down I came. still wanting you. still needing you.” you express, each word lifting a brick off of your chest.

“i don’t know, okay!” ri blurted out, choking on her words. “i’m fucked up, i’ve been fucked up for a long time. i could never keep or maintain a good thing in my life because i’d be waiting for it to end or for it to be thrown in my face. i’d want one thing in my mind and something totally different comes out my mouth. but it’s you, it’s always been you,” you stared through her bloodshot red eyes, finally receiving the truth and holding onto every word.

“you lit a fire under my ass, you forced me to look at myself. no one has ever done that to me—FOR me before. you make me crazy. you make me want to be a better person. you make me want to destroy ever person even SLIGHTLY responsible for causing you pain, including myself,” her face was glistening, wet tears reflecting off the brake lights of the car parked in front of her. she didn’t give a fuck how she looked anymore.

“i spent every night since we parted ways replaying all the things i’ve done to cause our separation over and over and over, drowning in my reality. I’d take it all back, good and bad, just to see you smile at me the first time you ever did. there was so much love in your eyes. and i watched it wither away, piece by piece. And i’m sorry, baby. I’m so sorry.”

you reached over and held her by the sides of her face, wiping her tears with your thumbs and gently kissing her lips. the sensation of your soft, warm lips made her cry even harder. the first time she felt that hug in months. nobody felt like you.

you hopped over into her seat and straddled her, not breaking the kiss. her hands roamed down your sides and over your ass as she pulled you closer to her. if she was dreaming, she’d be taking advantage of every moment.

you began to slightly move your hips along her leg, whining in her mouth, her mimicking your sounds in equal bliss and pain.

she wrapped her hand around the end of your braids and tugged slightly, exposing your neck and leaving soft, french kisses all along the middle.

“riana,” you breathed out.

“baby, please,” she pleaded. “let me fix it.”

you wanted to let her tear you apart. destroy your clothes and do away with them. you wanted to take out all your hate and love for her out on her body. you wanted to go right back to the every day you knew it as.

but you knew better. you learned better. y/n today is not the same y/n from months ago.

“i love you, riana.” you confessed aloud and hopped back into the passenger side.

“but I can’t let you back in. not this way. not right now.” you set your boundary, no matter how much it hurt. and decided it was time to go. you had overstayed your stay.

head down, eyes low, she just woefully nodded. she understood and she had to respect it. she made her bed, it was time to lay in it. but she would never give up.

“hey,” you bent down in her vision after stepping out the car. “we’ll see each other again. under better circumstances. bye, ri.”

you closed the door and headed back to your apartment, shedding more and more silent tears.

ri layed in the driver side seat in agony. counting down the days until that day. the last thing she wanted to say to you playing over and over in her head.

“i love you too, y/n. so fucking much.”

#Spotify #riri williams #riri x reader #dominique thorne #black sapphic #riri fic #prettymrswright hot ficpic #riri x you

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allthelovehes · 25 days

Text

Writing Retreat* | TEASER

Summary: Harry takes Y/N on a writing retreat to Italy, and given all this alone time causes things to bloom between him and his guitarist.

Pairing: Famous!Harry x Guitarist!Y/N

Word count: 2.5K TEASER of a 5K Patreon Exclusive!

Warnings: Unprotected sex, smut, p in v, swimming pool sex.

Taglist: @justmystyles @bitchybabyharry @harrysslut7 @swiftmendeshoran @lucasandharold @harrysbabycherry @htaylor18 @rose-garden-dreamz @myalovesharry @mellamolayla @hsonlyangelxo @yousunshineyoutempter @heartateasee @blueheisenbergtragedy @bikestyles @bohemianrhapsody86 @cherrylovers-world @harrys-littlefreak Let me know if you want to be added to my taglist! 🤗

Support my work by joining my Patreon!

“You're coming with me to Italy right?” Harry asks Y/N through the phone, while he is sitting on the sofa in his living room. Harry is planning a writing retreat in Italy to work on his fourth album. He is hoping Y/N will agree to come with him as he could use her expertise for the project.

“Yeah, I am.” Y/N answers while looking at the plane tickets. She is currently staying in New York with a couple of friends to catch up with them before she leaves for Italy. “I bought my tickets already, we'll arrive on the same day.”

“Perfect. I'll send you the address of the Airbnb we're staying at so you can check out the local sights and stuff. The studio isn't far from there, so it will only be a short walk.” Harry says while smiling to himself, excited to have her there to help him write his songs.

“That sounds good.” Y/N says as she looks over her shoulder and sees her friend walking into the kitchen. “I'll text you tomorrow. I can't wait to see you.”

“Me too.” Harry smiles to himself again.

“Y/N, do you have a boyfriend you never told us about?” Her friend suddenly says as she puts down her phone and Y/N can hear a bit of a laugh in her voice.

“No.” Y/N shakes her head as she turns towards her friend. “Why are you asking that?”

“You have this look on your face that tells me you're smitten with someone.” Her friend says, smiling. She is onto something as Y/N is indeed head over heels for Harry and that's where it gets complicated. Not only is he her best friend, but also her boss, so she doesn't want to mix the two together.

“I don't.” Y/N laughs, shaking her head as she gets up. She walks into the kitchen to make a cup of tea and her friend follows her.

“Then who were you talking to?” She asks, smiling.

“Harry.” Y/N answers honestly as she turns the kettle on and grabs two mugs from the cupboard.

“The Harry?” Her friend asks, her eyes growing wide. “Harry Styles, the man you have worked for the past years? Your best friend, Harry?”

“Yes, the one and only.” Y/N laughs and her friend laughs with her.

“Does he know about your feelings?” Her friend asks as she sits down on the barstool at the counter.

“Gosh, there's no feelings for him to know about. We're friends.” Y/N answers, not looking at her friend as she takes the teabags from the top drawer and puts one in each mug.

“Sure, okay. I get it.” Her friend says, not believing her.

“I mean, yeah, he's attractive. But I'm sure every girl thinks that.” Y/N adds.

“Not just every girl, but most girls.” Her friend replies. “Are you going to tell him how you feel?”

“I can't.” Y/N answers simply as she turns to look at her friend. “He's my boss.”

“But you also said you're his friend, right?” Her friend says. “You'll be with him on a holiday for the next couple of weeks, plenty of time to figure it out.”

“We'll see.” Y/N replies as the kettle boils and she turns back around to make their cups of tea. ***

The next morning, Y/N's alarm wakes her up and she immediately gets out of bed. She goes to the bathroom to wash her face and brush her teeth, before going to the kitchen. It's 8 am and Y/N has to be at the airport in two hours to catch her flight. She made some sandwiches the night before and packs them into a box along with some drinks. Then she packs the last of her stuff in her suitcase and grabs her handbag. Her friends are still sleeping and they offered to take her to the airport, but Y/N decided she would get an Uber. She is too nervous to sit in a car with her friends on her way to the airport.

When the Uber arrives, she sends her friends a text to let them know she's leaving and she opens the trunk before the driver helps her put her suitcase in the car. Once she's seated in the back, the driver starts the journey to the airport.

Y/N checks her phone for the hundredth time this morning and Harry hasn't sent her a message yet. She knows he's probably sleeping, as he's flying in from London, but she is hoping he's up soon to send her a message. Y/N is excited to see him.

She opens Instagram and scrolls through her feed. She is a little nervous to go on a writing trip with Harry. What if they spend all day and night together in their own private bubble and something happens between them? She isn't sure what to do if that were to happen, but she is also trying to not think about it.

It's not like they'll be the only ones in the studio but the Airbnb is just for the two of them. Harry made sure to book a proper house for them, with enough rooms and a pool. It is a big Airbnb, located close to the beach and the studio. There's a kitchen where the two of them can cook their meals and the bedrooms both have their own ensuite.

Y/N can't help but daydream a little about sharing the house with Harry. It's the first time the two of them will live together and she wonders what it will be like. She has known him for so long, but living with someone is always a different story.

The ride to the airport goes by fast and once Y/N has checked in, she grabs a coffee and waits for her plane to start boarding. As she sits down, her phone lights up and a smile appears on her face when she sees Harry's name pop up.

HarryHey, can't wait to see you. You at the airport yet?

Y/NHey. Yeah, just boarded the plane. See you soon!

HarryText me when you arrive and I'll come get you.

Y/NWill do. x

She puts her phone into airplane mode and takes a sip from her coffee, while she looks outside at the planes landing and taking off. She has done this so many times before, but this time is different.

After a couple of hours, Y/N's plane lands in Milan and she is relieved to finally be on solid ground. She is greeted by the warm Italian air as she walks to the baggage claim and takes her phone out of airplane mode. Her phone buzzes immediately and she smiles as she sees Harry's name light up the screen.

HarryI'm outside, can't wait to see you.

Y/NOutside where?

HarryBaggage claim.

Y/N smiles as she picks up her suitcase from the conveyor belt and walks outside, searching for Harry. She is surprised when she sees him standing outside, his eyes fixated on his phone, and her heart beats a little faster. He is wearing a loose t-shirt, jean shorts and his curls are styled perfectly.

“Hey.” Y/N says, her voice sounding a little nervous.

Harry lifts his gaze from his phone and he smiles when he sees Y/N. He quickly puts his phone away and walks towards her. “Hey.” He says as he wraps his arms around her and Y/N feels her body melt into his embrace. His scent is intoxicating and she lets out a deep breath.

“How was the flight?” Harry asks as he pulls away.

“Fine. How was yours?” Y/N asks as they start walking.

“It was good.” Harry nods, smiling.

“I thought I was supposed to let you know I'm here before you'd come pick me up.” Y/N laughs and Harry's smile grows wider.

“Well, I couldn't wait any longer. I needed to see you.” He says, his words causing butterflies in Y/N's stomach.

They make their way through the airport and soon, they are outside. It's hotter than Y/N expected it to be, but the Italian air feels nice. They get into Harry's rental car. She tries to focus on the beautiful buildings, parks and trees, but her mind keeps wandering off to the fact that she'll be living with the man beside her for the next couple of weeks.

“Here we are.” Harry says as he parks the car and Y/N is snapped back to reality.

“Wow, this is huge.” Y/N exclaims as she takes in the villa. It's even better than the pictures showed. It has a large porch with a garden in front of the house and she can see the pool behind the house.

“Yeah.” Harry says as he gets out of the car and walks around to get Y/N's suitcase from the trunk.

“Let me help you.” Y/N says as she grabs the other side of her suitcase and they walk up the stairs towards the entrance.

“No, no, I've got it.” Harry shakes his head and Y/N lets go of her suitcase. She looks over her shoulder and smiles at him.

“Thanks.” She says as Harry opens the front door and pushes her suitcase inside.

“This is our home for the next couple of weeks.” Harry says as they walk further into the house. “Make yourself comfortable.”

“Where is my room?” Y/N asks as she takes her shoes off.

“Uhm, upstairs, the first door on the left.” Harry answers.

“Thanks.” Y/N nods. “I'll just bring my suitcase upstairs, unpack and freshen up a little.”

“No problem.” Harry says and Y/N can feel his eyes on her as she climbs the stairs. She opens the door and smiles as she takes in the beautiful bedroom. It has a king-sized bed, a couch and a desk. She places her suitcase on the couch and opens it.

“This is nice.” Harry says and Y/N turns around to see him leaning against the doorway.

“Yeah.” Y/N nods. “Much bigger than my bedroom in London.”

“I'm glad you like it.” Harry smiles as he steps into the room and sits down on the edge of the bed. “So, how have you been?” ***

It's been a couple of days since the two of them arrived at their dream destination and they have spent most of their time exploring the area. They have gone to the beach, the shops and restaurants and today is the first day they will start working in the studio.

Y/N has woken up early, even though they stayed up late the night before. They have gone to a fancy restaurant where they had some good food and wine.

“Morning.” Harry's voice comes from behind her as Y/N stands in the kitchen, waiting for the coffee to be ready.

“Hey.” Y/N says, smiling. “There's coffee in the pot.”

“Thanks.” Harry says as he steps towards the coffee machine and grabs a cup.

“Do you have anything planned for today?” Y/N asks.

“We're going to the studio, right?” Harry asks, raising an eyebrow.

“Oh yeah.” Y/N says, nodding her head. “I have some ideas for a new song, actually.”

“Really? That's great.” Harry says, his eyes lighting up. “We should get breakfast on the way.”

“Okay, let's go.” Y/N nods and follows him outside.

Once they are in the studio, they settle in the control room and Harry hands Y/N his notebook. She flips through the pages, seeing the songs he's already written and some notes he's made.

“Can I play something for you?” Harry asks.

“Of course.” Y/N smiles, turning her attention back to Harry.

“I want your honest opinion, okay?” He says and Y/N nods her head. “So, it's not finished yet. I just want to hear how it sounds with the melody.”

“Go ahead.” Y/N says.

Harry sits down on the chair and starts playing the piano. His fingers hit the keys and Y/N closes her eyes, letting his voice and the music engulf her. It's a beautiful song, the lyrics and melody flowing perfectly together.

“How is it?” Harry asks when he finishes and Y/N opens her eyes.

“It's amazing, Harry. Really.” Y/N says, her voice is sincere.

“You really think so?” Harry asks.

“Yeah.” Y/N says as she gets up from the chair and steps closer to Harry. “I really do.”

“Thanks.” Harry smiles, looking down at his feet.

“Let's add some guitars and record a demo. See how it sounds.” Y/N suggests and Harry nods.

“Okay, let's do it.” Harry agrees, following her out of the control room and into the live room. They work on the song until the late afternoon, recording and mixing the demo. ***

Two weeks later, they have a lot of work done on the album and Harry's been playing the guitar and singing for most of the days. Y/N's been listening, offering him some advice and helping him out with the arrangements along with other people who dropped into the studio here and there.

It's late at night and they're sitting on the porch, a glass of wine in their hands.

“I think we're almost done with the album.” Harry says.

“Yeah, it's coming along really nicely.” Y/N replies, looking over at him. “It's a good one, Harry. Really.”

“Thank you.” Harry smiles. “It wouldn't be the same without you.”

“Of course it would.” Y/N smiles, blushing a little.

“No, it wouldn't.” Harry shakes his head, his eyes on hers. “You've been such a big part of it.”

“It's your music, your songs. It's a big part of you, Harry.” Y/N says, not breaking the eye contact.

“Exactly, but it's your words. Your inspiration. Your heart.” Harry replies, his eyes falling on her lips for a split second.

“Well, I'm glad I could help.” Y/N whispers, her heart pounding in her chest.

“I've never felt like this when writing songs, Y/N.” Harry admits. “It's almost like... I don't know.”

“Like what?” Y/N asks.

“I don't know, it's different. More, more real. More meaningful. Something like that.” Harry says, a smile playing on his lips.

“It's the Italian air.” Y/N says, her eyes looking up at the sky.

“It's you.” Harry corrects her. “Your presence.”

“I'm sure it's just the Italian air.” Y/N says, looking down. She is afraid that if she looks at Harry, her feelings will be obvious and she doesn't want that.

“I'm serious.” Harry says, placing his hand on her chin and making her look at him.

“So am I.” Y/N whispers, her heart beating even faster.

“Then prove it.” Harry challenges her, his hand still on her chin.

“What?” Y/N asks.

“Prove it.” Harry repeats, his eyes falling down to her lips again.

“How?�� Y/N asks, her voice barely audible.

“Kiss me.” Harry whispers.

“Harry...” Y/N starts, shaking her head.

“Y/N.” Harry says, his voice firm. “Kiss me.”

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obeetlebeetle · 1 month

Text

tagged by @sophelstien, thank you!💜💜💜

the NO-SKIP albums: a tag game 🎶

rules: share the albums that you can listen to nonstop. those lightning in a bottle-albums that scratch ur brain just right. every single track, an absolute banger. u could not skip one if u tried. no notes. stunning, show-stopping, immaculate. ur no-skip albums. 🔎 bonus & optional (but imo, v fun) rules:1) add a track rec for us to listen to! AND2) share ur favorite line(s) from that track! 👀

tagging @waitingforgalois, @avantguardisme, @frogndtoad, @oranges-and-pears, @phosphorusandpetra, @cardwrecks, @swordatsunset, @gideonthefirst, @owldude, and YOU

🎧 album info/track recs/my favorite lines under the cut!! ↓↓↓

🌊 hideaway / the weepies (2008)

track rec: little bird ↳brush your gray wings in my head / say what you said / say it again / they tell me I'm crazy / but you told me / I'm golden

📼 in rainbows / radiohead (2007)

track rec: weird fishes/arpeggi ↳I'd be crazy not to follow / follow where you lead / your eyes / they turn me / turn me into phantoms / I follow to the edge / of the earth / and fall off / yeah, everybody leaves / if they get the chance / and this is my chance

🌉 narrow stairs / death cab for cutie (2008)

track rec: bixby canyon bridge ↳and then it started getting dark / I trudged back to where the car was parked / no closer to any kind of truth / as I must assume was the case for you

🚗 sam's town / the killers (2006)

track rec: bones ↳we took a backroad in my car / down to the ocean / it's only water and sand / and in the ocean we'll hold hands / but I don't really like you / apologetically dressed in the best / put on a heartbeat glide / without an answer / the thunder speaks for the sky

🕕 I forget where we were / ben howard (2014)

track rec: conrad ↳oh, I loved you with the good and the careless in me / but it all goes back

🔥 heretic pride / tmg (2008)

track rec: autoclave ↳when I try to open up to you, I get completely lost / houses swallowed by the earth, windows thick with frost / and I reach deep down within, but the pathways twist and turn / and there's no light anywhere, and nothing left to burn / and I am this great, unstable mass of blood and foam / and no emotion that's worth having could call my heart its home

🌹 violet street / local natives (2019)

track rec: when am I gonna lose you? ↳I remember you closing the shutters / and laying down by my side / and the light that was still slipping through / it was painting your body in stripes

🚪 retired from sad, new career in business / mitski (2013)

track rec: goodbye, my danish sweetheart ↳there's some kind of burning inside me / it's kept me from falling apart / and I'm sure that you've seen what it's done to my heart / but it's kept me from falling apart / now here I lay as I wonder about you / would you just tell me what I'm meant to do? / 'cause I've waited and watered my heart 'til it grew / you can see how it's blossomed for you

🚀 how to: friend, love, freefall / rks (2018)

track rec: mission to mars ↳we changed the format completely, cut the filler for meat / it's just blood on your TV making killings for free / the ticket lines are past the sign down at the end of the street / meet and greet, VIPs go a million a piece / we delayed the show for entry and so expired on the lease / now we're gonna re-release it, t.b.d / change the title to: fuck you / it's what you want it to be / when you know it only pay to make nice / pack your shit and standby, please / your friends are trying to leave and get high

#this was veryyyy difficult bc i had way more than 9. but also i mainly listened to full albums in high school/college bc of #1) burning cds from the library into itunes and 2) driving in cars w/o bluetooth #i tried to break up the rows like middle/high school - college - grad&post-grad for variety #honorable mentions are: franz ferd self-titled the xx self titled vamp wknd self titled pb&j gimme some gorillaz demon days passion pit man #: glass animals youth daft punk discovery the strokes first impressions of earth arctic monkeys red lights indicate doors are secured #UGH sorry it was just so hard . to choose #and picking the songs was almost as bad but i tried to be as honest as possible #ok. byeeee

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skubean · 1 year

Note

just wanted to let you know your post does shows up in the tags, congrats on the blog opening!!🎉🎉 also. since you specifically mentioned Bettel, how about some headcanons of what he would like to do for a first date?👀

thank you anon, much love!! and i'm glad i'm showing up T.T <3 also, thank you for the request!!! aaaaa i'm so happy and this is a really good idea :o hope you liked it and lmk what you think!

first date with gavis bettel! with gender neutral reader (hcs)

warnings: gender neutral reader, fluff with some crack, slight cursing, probably just two people being silly, mentions of reader having long/hair that can be tied.

bettel strikes me as the type of guy who would act all cool but is secretly panicking on the inside when he hears you agreeing to go on a date with him. *you don't tell him but you could practically see the gears in his head turning*

he's been secretly pining for you for weeks and finally mustered up the courage to ask you out.

he's either 1) planned everything + back up plans in case plan a goes astray, or 2) decides to stick with one idea and lets fate decide what happens afterwards.

i lied, he's definitely #2.

overheard you telling your friends that you haven't been to a theme park for years, so he decides "theme park date it is!" *booked tickets as soon as he got home*

when the day finally came, bettel would have his hair done (slickback probably, like the valentine art holy shit) and would personally come and pick you up, because he's a gentleman like that.

silly but he definitely is the type that would be so cautious while driving that everytime you pass a speed bump, he would mutter small sorry(s) and try to go as slow as he could, so that you wouldn't be surprised by the sudden bump.

oh, he would also not tell you where your date would be until you saw the huge ass ferris wheel and literally flashed the brightest smile he had ever seen. (he tisker-ed)

(more under the cut!)

i imagine bettel to be really gentle with you at first because he doesn't wanna come off as rude or like pushy but gradually gets more used to being around you that his silly banters and stupid jokes come out naturally, just the way you've always liked.

some rides were fun and not too scary for the both of you, so you both got a little competitive to see who could handle the most rides.

obviously, it doesn't end well when the both of you go on a drop tower ride (reference) and the moment it plunges from a height, the both of you scream at the top of your lungs (i think bettel might've passed out midway but we'll act like it didn't happen).

roller coaster rides are both fun and scary for you that you unconsciously ended up gripping his hands as the ride starts swaying around. his heart started beating faster but his protective instinct also went crazy and decided that he would act all cool and not scream on the rides (he still did).

if you're not a fan of high rides, he'd bring you to go on rides that were less chaotic and more chilling, like the teacups or try vr!

you both had so much fun that you didn't notice the sky getting darker, signaling that it was nearing night. you could feel your heart panging at the thought of the fun day ending already.

"here, come on. i wanted to show you this", bettel would say as he puts your hand in his and brings you to the big ferris wheel the both of you saw by the entrance.

he's the type to go in first, so that he could hold your hand when you get in and have you seated in front of him.

once you both reached the top, bettel points towards the outside and you could see the whole entire park all in display. you were practically glowing in front of him and bettel swears he fell more in love with you.

while you were so focused on the view, you hear bettel clear his throat before he shifts himself so he's sitting next to you and is pushing your hair aside so as to tie it (because he noticed how you kept pushing it since you were sweating earlier).

you both pretty much sit in silence for the whole ride until you clapped your hands. "ah okay! i can't take this anymore!", you said and looked at bettel as you tell him you've liked him for so long and that you could literally pass out right now from happiness (all while your face burns from embarrassment)

bettel laughs and touches his forehead to yours before whispering, "damn, i was gonna be the first to say it but you beat me to it. can i....can i kiss you?". you nod as he leans in closer.

he's sweet, soft and tastes like apples. the both of you a blushing mess when the worker opens the door, signaling that it's time to get out.

long story short, he's glad he decided to bring you to the theme park because he saw so many sides of you he's never seen, not to mention how soft your lips were to him that he just, could not stop thinking abt them.

the date might have been cliché, but bettel made sure not to end the date without officially asking if he could be yours. not if you could be his, but for him to be yours.

once you got back home, you finally noticed how terrible he tied your hair, with it leaning to one side more, and just strands of hair everywhere. but you appreciate the effort.

"you're silly. thank you for the horrible hairstyle <3" bettel is probably kicking the sheets, giggling at your text rn.

a/n: okay phew! sorry, this ended up being slightly longer than i expected skskkssk i decided to write a theme park based first date bcs i imagine bettel to be someone who prefers fun dates like this compared to like dinner dates idk SHAHHSAKSH anyways, sorry for any errors and hope you liked this ! <3 beanz.

#i love bettel so much he's just so adorable #also his forehead in the valentine art goddamn #gavis bettel #gavis bettel x reader #holotempus x reader #holostars x reader #holotempus #holostars

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dudadragneel · 3 months

Text

Okay, so this is a request that I decided to increment a little bit otherwise you'd have two VERY similar Sickfic.

This one is a mix of a request from 🦊 and an original idea of mine so I decided to add Felix to this one as well. But it's Lee Know-centric so for Lee Know it would be (Lee Know x reader) and Felix x Stevie

Enjoy!

SUMMER AND RIDES

Summer vacations are the best time of the year, except for the scorching heat outside almost every day. You would spend the entire day lying down on the floor like a lizard if you could, not even the AC seemed to be helping.

The boys were also in vacation mode, the usual rest period before the preparations for the next comeback. You had started dating Lee Know a few months back and you'd meet him when possible for both of you and you didn't get to go on many actual dates with him. The same goes for Stevie and Felix, they'd been dating for a little longer than you but were in the same situation.

You had nothing better to do and you were sure Lee Know was in the same situation as you, melting to the floor.

So a light bulb popped into your head: a double date.

You decided to call Lee Know and then Stevie to see what they thought about the idea.

- Hey, babe! How are you?

- Hi honey. I'm melting and you?

- Same...say, do you want to go to the amusement park? Like a double date? It would be me, you, Stevie, Felix and you can invite the boys as well. As long as we get to stay alone for a while.

Lee Know paused for a brief moment and took a deep breath in before answering. He had an intense fear of heights and didn't tell yet but he didn't want to ruin the fun for you.

- Sure. I'll talk to the boys.

- I thought that since we haven't been able to meet that often it'd be good.

- Yes. We'll pick you up at 10.

- Alright.

You then called Stevie, who was really eager to accept your invitation and proceeded to take a bath.

The boys arrived in 10 minutes and you sat next to Lee Know. You kissed him and then proceeded to hold his hand. Usually, the one to tease the couples would be Lee Know but today it was his time to be on the receiving end.

And so it began, the amusement park adventure. Since it was a little far from where you all lived, it felt like a field trip, so you decided to play games Lee Know was enjoying so far, it kept him distracted from the fact that he agreed on going to an amusement park of all places. He was already starting to feel queasy even before getting there, especially because you had told him before you loved all the rides and he'd most probably need to accompany you on them. He couldn't help but take a deep breath, which you noticed.

- You okay, babe?

- Yeah. It's just too hot. It feels like the sun is inside the van.

He managed to brush it off and continued to play games with you and the boys.

And finally, you arrived at the amusement park. You got the tickets and per usual the first stop was the souvenir store to get cute headbands for everyone.

You picked two cat ears for both of you and then took a selfie.

The first part of the date was going well, you went on chill rides, saw the animals, and even até a few snacks, which he would later come to regret.

And then it was finally time to separate. Stevie took Felix, you took Lee Know and the rest of the boys went to another part of the park but before they left, Chan almost told you about Lee Know's condition but he was quick to make a "no" face to his hyung.

Chan didn't understand why he was trying to put up a front but he decided to respect his dongsaeng wish, after all, you'd be with him so he'd be safe, whether he told you or not.

You grabbed his arm and excitedly left to look for the most amazing rides you could find, and throughout, Lee Know regretted everything and he felt a chill down his spine, a signal that his suffering was only starting.

Arriving at the first ride, you entered the line with Lee Know and while you were excited looking at the people enjoying it, he gulped down his soul that already wanted to leave his body. He was fidgety and you noticed but didn't get a click on what could be wrong, so you just grabbed his hands and reassured him.

- Are you nervous?

- A little...

- Don't be! It'll be fine. I'm right here with you.

He gave you a fake pained smile and then it was finally time to enter the ride.

And it was indeed okay, okay at best. He was feeling tired and dizzy after and his legs were a bit wobbly but he managed to laugh it through with you and for a brief moment he thought he could actually enjoy it. For a brief moment only.

You found another, a little higher and more intense than the first, and excitedly hurried toward it, pulling an almost soulless Lee Know with you.

When he sat on the ride his breath was a little shaky so you grabbed his hand again and squeezed it.

- Don't worry, it'll be over in a minute.

- Yeah.

It might even be a minute but to him, it would feel like an eternity. And indeed, this ride was a little rougher than the first one, at one point he was sure he blacked out for at least a second.

When it was over, he was feeling a little dizzy and shaky, while you looked like a child going to the amusement park for the first time. And he noticed that and didn't want to ruin your fun, seeing you happy like that made him happy, despite how bad he was starting to feel. But the second ride had its effect on him, the dizziness didn't seem to want to stop and he was shaking like a green stick, he needed some time to calm down before putting on a brave face again to join you on the next ride.

- B-babe.

He said, voice shakier than he'd like.

- Yes?

You said turning around.

- Can we take a break for a while? I need to collect myself before the next one.

- Sure. Let's sit down in the shade.

You said, oblivious to your boyfriend's suffering.

- You go first. I'll go to the restroom real quick.

- Okay.

You left to find a spot with a nice shade so you could both rest and he hurried to the restroom, trying to act as normal as he could.

Getting there he quickly entered one of the stalls and locked it. He didn't know for sure what he was feeling, dizzy? Nauseous? Exhausted? But he needed to be alone.

He tried to take deep breaths to regain control of his breathing which was starting to alter. Once he managed to do that, nausea built up inside him making him bent over the toilet, hands on the wall for support.

He gagged unproductively a few times before what he thought was a productive gag only brought out saliva and bile, despite him eating before.

He straightened his back, took deep breaths again, and contemplated calling Chan because he knew this was his acrophobia starting to kick in and it would probably get much worse. With shaky hands, he grabbed his phone and called Chan.

- Minho?

- Ch-Chan hyung.

- Hey, Minho, are you okay?

- N-no-. I think my acrophobia is kicking in-

- Did you tell y/n?

- No! Don't tell her. I d-dont want to ruin her fun.

- But Minho-

- No. Please. We'll go to the next ride, just try to be close, please.

- Okay. It's your call. We'll be there if you need, don't worry.

- Thanks.

He quickly hung up because he felt something stuck in his throat so he bent over the toilet one more time but nothing but thick saliva came out. He flushed the toilet and walked out to rinse his mouth. He took a couple of deep breaths to recollect himself before he left the restroom to meet with you.

- Hey, babe. Is everything alright?

- Y-yeah. It's just that there were a lot of people. Sorry.

- It's okay. Let's go to the other one before the line gets too big.

You said grabbing him and heading to the next ride, which would come to be Lee Know's worst nightmare.

The line was a little long, but he was grateful because he could use that time to either recollect himself and wait for the worst or gather the courage to tell you about his phobia. He chose the former.

Each step forward was a deep breath and the increase of his heartbeat, and finally it was time.

By the time the safety bars were down, he was sure he didn't have any color left on his face and yet he tried to put up a smile for you, who grabbed his hands and smiled back and the ride started.

The ride wasn't only long, it was the second highest of the park and the minutes before it reached the peak before the drop, felt like an eternity for Lee Know.

Getting to the peak, his breathing was really labored, and all color had been drained from his face, he felt like he was dying. And it was only then that you noticed something was wrong.

- Honey? Honey, are you okay?

But he couldn't answer you and he didn't even have the chance to since the ride just dropped. You did your best to hold his hand and not scream to not bother him further since you didn't know exactly what was happening. The rest of the ride consisted of Lee Know curled up in a ball and you worried to death holding him.

When the ride came to a stop, you quickly got out and went to Lee Know's side and noticed he was pale as a sheet and shaky, so you asked the park staff to help. They helped him out of the ride and took him to a bench with a little less people around.

You kneeled in front of Lee Know to try to understand what was happening.

- Miss, would you like us to call the medical staff?

- Yes, please.

You answered and then turned your attention back to your boyfriend.

- Babe? Babe? Minho, can you hear me?

But the boy was completely paralyzed, his face was pale, he could feel his heartbeat on his entire body, and his breathing was labored to the point he was gasping for air.

You noticed this was something similar to a panic attack and part of you guessed what was wrong and decided to take action, while the medical staff didn't arrive.

- Hey, hey. Look at me, look at me.

You said firmly and only after he managed to look at you, eyes dazed and confused, that you asked another question.

- Can I touch you?

He shakily nodded a yes and you cupped his face so he could only look at you.

- Look at me. We're the only ones here, okay? Focus on me.

He shakily nodded another yes, not really lifting his face. He was gasping for air and getting lightheaded but the words wouldn't come out, so he just pounded his fist on his chest.

You grabbed his hands and squeezed them.

- Hey, babe. I'm right here. I'm right here with you. I need you to breathe for me, okay?

- C-can't-

That was all he managed to say.

- Yes, you can. I want you to breathe with me, okay? Pay attention to me. Inhale 1,2,3,4. Hold it 1,2,3,4. Exhale 1,2,3,4.

He tried but failed and instead gagged a little but unproductive.

- Let's try again. Focus on me.

Your voice was firm and stern but had a warm caring tone to it, signaling Lee Know that you were there with him and for him.

- Inhale 1,2,3,4. Hold it 1,2,3,4. Exhale 1,2,3,4

He followed your instructions and at first, it was difficult, it felt like he couldn't suck in any air but you guided him throughout and never let go of his hand.

After a few agonizing minutes, he had regained control of his breathing but things were far from being okay. His head was pounding, he was lightheaded and even if he was sitting, he felt the ground sink beneath his feet, making him sway forward holding his head.

You quickly grabbed him and pushed him back and didn't let go of him, noticing he could fall at any minute.

He felt his stomach flip violently, all its contents sloshing around and his mouth started watering. Something rushed up his chest and hit the back of his throat with a foul taste. Without much warning his stomach contracted again, making him jerk forward gagging barely giving him time to spread his legs before a thick stream of chunky vomit splattered on the ground right in front of you.

You managed to jump back in surprise but didn't let go of him quickly went to his side to rub his back as he gagged another violent stream of vomit.

- Oh baby... I'm right here. Get everything out. Don't worry about anything.

You noticed him gripping his pants and held his hand, rubbing circles on it as he proceeded to vomit one more time.

By now, Chan and the others came running, since Lee Know had told them to stay close by.

- Hey, y/n!

- Chan! Boys!

You said, a little relieved you now had more people to help with Lee Know, who had just burped wetly, triggering another stream, you changing between rubbing his back and patting it.

- Oh boy. Minho, you've really outdone yourself. I told you.

Chan didn't want to lecture him but seeing his dongsaeng and the closest one at that since he was the second oldest, like that broke his heart.

- Chan? Do you know what's wrong with him?

Chan looked at Lee Know who nodded a faint yes, too weak to tell you himself.

- Yeah. He has acrophobia which is an extreme fear of heights.

- What!? Why didn't you tell me!?

You turned to Lee Know, furious at both him for not telling you and yourself for not noticing, but still with a warm tone to your voice, showing you were really concerned.

- 'm sorry...you were having so much fun-

He said but was cut off by a gag that brought up even more putrid liquid mixing with the big puddle on the ground.

- Damn. Did the staff help you?

- Yes! They brought us here and went to get the medical staff.

Lee Know, who had stopped puking, felt extremely dizzy and light-headed, to the point where even sitting down he felt the world spin and the floor sink beneath his feet. Every sound around him was mixing together and muffling and there were black dots in his vision. He reached out to grab your hand and try to warn you.

- I'm gonna fain-

Was all he managed to say before blacking out, you quickly positioned yourself in front of him to grab him.

- Minho!

You managed to secure him and lay him down on the bench with the help of the boys. By now, the medical staff showed up and went immediately to Minho's aid.

- What happened?

- He has acrophobia and we were just on a ride. He seemed to have had a panic attack, threw up, and passed out.

- Understood. Alright, hey buddy, can you hear me?

The medic said while opening Lee Know's eyes to check for pupil reaction, which was fine.

- Buddy, if you can hear me blink twice.

Lee Know did as he was told.

- Alright buddy. I'm gonna check your blood pressure, okay?

- Hm.

The medic wrapped the device around Lee Know's arm and waited a few seconds.

- How is he?

- 100/70, it's a little lower than what we call normal but it's okay. He doesn't seem to be dehydrated and his panic attack seem to be under control. He will be okay as long as he rests for a while. It was just an episode, nothing to worry about.

At that moment, Lee Know regained consciousness, but all of the sounds, colors, and smells seemed to have come back all at once, hitting him like a strong wave. It triggered his stomach which shot up its contents without much warning making him choke.

The medic was quick to notice and immediately turned him to the side, just in time for a thick stream of vomit to gush out hitting the ground with a sickening sound. The medic kept one of his hands on Lee Know's shoulder for balance and the other between his shoulder blades for comfort as the boy vomited one more time.

- There you go, buddy.

After he was done, the medic gave him a water bottle so he could rinse his mouth.

- Alright buddy, we're gonna sit up very slowly okay?

He helped him up but didn't let go sensing he was still wobbly.

- Feeling dizzy still? Do you think you're gonna throw up again?

- just a little...and not really...

But he gagged a thin stream of saliva and bile before feeling empty.

- Okay, buddy. You're okay. Your blood pressure is good. I'd advise you to drink and eat something and go home for the day. It was just an episode.

- Thanks.

- Thank you.

You said as you sat by Lee Know's side with the boys gathering around.

- How are you feeling baby?

- Not so great...I'm exhausted.

- Oh, honey. Why didn't you tell me?

- I didn't want to ruin your fun. You were enjoying yourself so much it made me happy.

- But honey, I don't wanna have fun at the expense of your health! You could've told me, we'd find other stuff to do or go someplace else. And I'm sorry for not noticing how you were feeling.

- No. It's not your fault. I didn't want to tell you and I should've. I'm sorry.

He said ducking his head to hide obvious tears that were forming in his eyes. You might've been dating him for so long, but you knew that it was rare to see him cry.

- No, honey. Don't cry. Come here.

You said pulling him into a warm embrace, squeezing him reassuring him he had a safe place and he squeezed you back when he felt truly safe and comfortable.

He then lay down on your lap to rest for a while until Stevie arrived with Felix, who was in a similar state as Lee Know, on her back.

- Stevie!?

You all yelled as she appeared in front of you.

- Hey guys!

She said, sweaty and out of breath, setting Felix down on the bench.

- What happened?

With her hands on her hips:

- So....

----- FELIX AND STEVIE SITUATION -----

While Lee Know and you went about your date, and the boys somewhere else, Stevie and Felix started their date as well.

The amusement park was rather big so there were really small chances everyone would meet up coincidentally. Felix and Stevie went to eat first since Felix loved eating and loved someone who ate a lot, meaning Stevie. Even though they knew food and rides might not end up being the best match, they were both hungry and they've done it before. So they both ate and then went to play some of the games the amusement park offered.

One that Stevie decided to go to was the Haunted House, since Felix was a scaredy cat, that would be enough entertainment for her.

- Oh! It's the Haunted House! Let's go!

- Are you sure, baby? Really?

- Yes! Your reactions are really funny, plus, I'll be with you. You can cling to me like a baby koala if you want.

- Haha, very funny.

Stevie pulled Felix into the House and the torture session began for him.

A clown or a ghost would pop out every second, making him scream and flinch and indeed cling to her like a koala baby. Stevie laughing throughout but not letting him go. Safe to say he was exhausted when it was over, he walked out looking like a ghost himself.

- Hahahah. It was fun!

Stevie said looking at Felix and laughing again.

- You love seeing me suffer, don't you?

- Only if it's like this. Onto the next, we go!

- Let's get some water before, I'm really thirsty.

- Okay.

Stevie bought two cold water bottles and sat on a bench underneath a cool shade and noticed Felix looked a little pale.

- Hey, baby, are you okay? You look pale...

- Yeah. I'm still trying to recover from the Haunted House and it's really hot.

He said pulling his shirt and fanning himself Stevie noticed how sweaty he was so she gave him some tissue to wipe off. Thank God none of them were wearing makeup today, or it would've melted by now.

- let's go!

He said getting up and standing a hand to Stevie who happily accepted. They went on a few rides, which Felix enjoyed, except for one where he lacked out for a few seconds at the end but nothing to worry about.

After the latter, Felix asked Stevie to rest again before heading to the other attractions.

- Honey? Can we rest for a bit? It's really hot and I'm thirsty.

- Sure.

Felix was on his third water bottle of the day and Stevie was starting to get worried.

- Lix, are you really okay?

- Yeah.

- This is your third water bottle. Are you sure you're not dehydrated?

- I'm fine. It's just too hot today, I can't help it.

- Okay then. Take your time. Want some popsicle?

- Yes!

- Okay, just a moment.

Stevie left to buy The popsicles leaving Felix to cool off in the shade. But something was wrong, yes it was hot, but it felt like it was even hotter for him. He had drunk 3 water bottles and still felt thirsty, he was sweaty and Stevie mentioned he looked pale. Suddenly his head throbbed and he felt dizzy, even though he was sitting down, so he grabbed his head in an attempt to steady himself. And then took the cool water to drink and placed it on his neck and forehead, providing the smallest of comfort.

- Here! Got it! Take it before it melts!

- Thanks.

Stevie has gotten fruit-flavored popsicles, the best choice for this heat and it tasted heavenly. It made Felix feel alive again, the sweet chilling taste going down his throat seemed like it was everything he needed at that moment.

- Woah! It tastes good!

- Right!?

Stevie said with a beautiful smile that even caught Felix by surprise, making him lean forward and kiss her.

- Why so suddenly!?

She said, cheeks red as a tomato.

- Because you looked extra pretty.

He said smiling back. It seemed like he was fine now and everything would end well, but it only seemed that way.

Stevie and Felix went on a few more rides and then just kept walking around but then things started to get really bad for Felix.

He was sweating even more than before, his face was pale and flushed at the same time, he felt his heart beating all over his body, his head was throbbing and felt light, there were black dots in his vision and the ground was sinking beneath his feet.

He suddenly halted, head looking down.

- Babe? Felix?

- S-sorry...I feel dizzy...

He said, voice muffled, and already bending over and kneeling his body not wanting to work with him. Stevie was shocked seeing her boyfriend just crumble to the ground like that so she kneeled as well and placed a hand on his forehead.

- Babe you're burning up!

- It definitely feels like it...

- Now it's not the time for jokes Felix. What else are you feeling?

- Headache... dizziness...I'm thirsty and nauseous...

- You might have heat exhaustion. Sit down for a while.

Stevie placed her hands underneath his arms to help him sit down on the ground and Felix just ducked his head between his legs, while she quickly placed a cool water bottle on his nape and massaged his shoulders.

- I don't feel well...

- I know baby...

Felix didn't dare lift his head, he was so dizzy it felt like the world was spinning around him. His whole body burned and his stomach was twisting around, all the food and water threatening to make an appearance soon.

Unfortunately for them, people were stopping to look at the situation but some were kind enough to offer help.

- Hey, miss, do you need help?

- Oh? Yes! Can you tell someone to get the medical staff?

- Yes. We'll Be right back.

- Thank you.

She turned her attention back to Felix and wished they had the manager and staff with them, that way they could get rid of the curious people.

Felix felt his stomach flip and contract, hot liquid rushing up his chest filling his mouth with an acid foul taste, and before he could warn Stevie, a stream of very liquid vomit gushed out splattering on the floor between his legs, catching her by surprise.

- Oh my god! Felix!

Stevie said as she rubbed his back, thankfully his hair was already in a ponytail so it didn't get any vomit. Felix barely managed to catch his breath before another wave came out making him choke and vomit one more time.

- Get everything out.

- Babe, I feel like I'll pass out...

- Okay. I think you're really having heat exhaustion. We need to cool you down before it gets worse. Come on.

She wrapped her arms around him and carefully guided him up, one of the bystanders helping her take him to a nearby bench with a shade.

- Thank you.

- Is there any other way we can help while the medical staff isn't here?

- Yes. Can you try to get some ice packs? I need to cool him down.

- We'll see what we can do.

Felix was almost passed out but he was conscious enough to see Stevie take charge and matters into hands while the professional help didn't come and it made him feel secure and proud.

- Babe, we need to take off some of your clothes as well. I'll take this shirt off and your socks okay? The lighter the clothing the better you'll feel.

- Hm..

He just hummed in response, nearly passed out.

The bystanders arrived with ice packs and she quickly placed one under his neck, on his forehead, and his armpits and started to fan him. And after a while, the medical staff appeared.

- Hey, miss, hey buddy. Só what's going on?

- I think he has heat exhaustion.

- What are his symptoms?

- he told me he felt hot, thirsty, dizzy, his head was hurting, and nausea. He threw up a couple of minutes ago.

- Okay. This fits the heat exhaustion overall symptoms. We'll check his temperature and blood pressure. Excuse me, buddy.

His temperature was high, but not from a fever but from exposure to the heat and his blood pressure was a little low. The medical staff looked at what Stevie had done and praised her.

- Well done miss. Your decision to cool him down was the difference between him having heat exhaustion and evolving into a heatstroke.

- Thank you. So is he okay?

- Yes. It's just heat exhaustion. Keep him cool and hydrated and he should be feeling better in 30 minutes or so.

- Thank you.

Stevie said bowing and then kneeling next to Felix to keep fanning him.

- How are you feeling?

- Tired...and dizzy...

- Let's stay like this for a while. Do you think you can stomach some water? I got a straw so you don't have to sit.

- Yeah...

- I know you're thirsty but take small sips okay?

- Okay...

He did exactly as Stevie told him and the water provided him some comfort. He closed his eyes to rest while Stevie kept fanning him.

- I wonder how the others are doing?

- Lee Know - hyung might be having a hard time...

- wait, why?

- He's afraid of heights...and he didn't tell y/n...

- Oh yeah. Damn.

Stevie's reaction earned a laugh from Felix who was starting to feel a little better.

- Do you want me to call the others?

- No...they're probably having fun...or helping with Lee Know hyung...

- You're right. Wanna go there?

- No...not yet...I still feel dizzy and my stomach feels weird...

- Okay. You wanna throw up again?

- Maybe...I don't know...

- okay. Just tell me if you feel like it, okay?

- Alright

Felix closed his eyes and focused on the cool sensation on his body, where the ice packs were placed and the light wind provided by Stevie fanning him.

After a few minutes, he deemed it safe to sit up and meet with the others.

- I'll help you up. Slowly.

Stevie said wrapping her arms around him and helping him into a sitting position.

Even though he sat up slowly, he still felt dizzy, squeezing his eyes, opening them slowly trying to steady himself, and he began swallowing convulsively.

- Are you gonna throw up?

Stevie asked moving to his side and already rubbing his back.

Felix just nodded leaning forward, elbows on his knees for support. He opened his mouth and a wet gag brought up a stream of watery vomit splattering on the ground. Stevie kept patting his back when she noticed he choked and a cough triggered another wave. And after that, he was left dry heaving.

- Baby? I think you're done. If you keep vomiting you'll get dehydrated. Take this.

Stevie took out an antiemetic that she had in her purse, just like that one time during the plane ride. She dealt with motion sickness but that didn't stop her from enjoying things and having her medication on her always came in handy.

Felix took the pill and then a few small sips of water before he felt a little better.

- I feel a little better now...thanks...

- And the nausea? Dizziness?

- The nausea is mostly gone, I think I needed to get that out. But I still feel a bit lightheaded.

- Wanna go rendezvous with the others?

- Yeah...I'm ready to go home. We can chill there, where there's AC.

He said dramatically and laughed, making Stevie laugh too and signaling her he was indeed feeling better.

- Let me help you with your shoes so you don't have to bend down.

- Thanks...

He said, face flushed from embarrassment.

- Say, can you walk?

- I don't know...I'm afraid of fainting...

- Would you mind if I carried you? Piggyback?

- No...

Thankfully for Stevie, Felix was light enough for her to be able to carry him on her back.

- Hold on tight.

She said as she carefully lifted him, not wanting to jerk him and make him feel dizzy or nauseous again.

- See? I told you.

- What?

- You look like a baby koala.

She said smiling and proceeding to walk to where the others were.

----- LEE KNOW AND Y/N (+THE MEMBERS)-----

- And now here we are.

Stevie said finishing the narrative of her adventure with Felix.

- Maybe we should've just stayed home.

You said, a little upset since this has been your idea and you felt kind of responsible for everything.

- No no no. It's not your fault, honey. I was the one who decided not to tell you about my fear of heights because I was too proud.

- Yeah. And you couldn't have predicted Felix would have heat exhaustion as well. None of this is on you.

Stevie said hugging you.

- Well, what do you say we continue this double date plus, us, at a hotel or somewhere with a pool?

You, Lee Know, Stevie, and Felix couldn't help but laugh at the dramatic way Han said that.

- Well, I'm in. At least we can rest and enjoy some pool!

You said smiling, Lee Know, Stevie, and Felix agreed with the idea.

- Then let's go.

You helped Lee Know up and wrapped your arm around his waist, while he put his arm over your shoulder and kissed you.

Stevie picked Felix up on her back again, earning a cute smile from the freckled boy.

And the others well, they had each other's company.

- Damn, you calling us single in many different languages.

Changbin said earning a hysterical laugh from you and Stevie, and the boys as well but Hyunjin was quick to correct the sentence.

- Not "us", you. Mine couldn't come because they had an appointment. We're not the same.

The drama queen said, making the boys jump on him.

- Go walk with the love birds then. We have each other back here.

Changbin said pushing Hyunjin towards the couples and proceeding to hug the remaining, single members.

This family was chaotic but you and Stevie couldn't ask for a better one.

17 notes · View notes

phoenixyfriend · 11 months

Text

Would anyone like to hear about my Fun New Tumblr Glitch?

This is my help desk ticket, put in around 10:30 PM

I hit post limit earlier today, and decided to simply fill up my queue to 1000 and wait for it to reset for tomorrow. However, the number in my queue keeps going down, and the suggestion from the FAQ, that failed posts would simply return to my drafts, isn't playing out; the drafts number stays static even when the queue number goes down, and I can see that the most recent post in the queue HAS changed. It was earlier a Pride Month post about a burger king ad, and it is now a short chat-format post about The Mandalorian. The queue appears to have eaten about fifteen posts like this today.

In the twenty minutes after, sending the ticket, it ate the Mando post.

Except I kept a tab open this time, having opened a post preview, and it is. Insane

It got posted. To private? I don't know how to access my private posts without already having a link? So the dozen-plus from the last six hours? No idea where they are now. How do I locate them.

All four views were showing "can rabbis have kids" from about 6:30 PM as my most recent until midnight, when I could start posting again. The missing Mando post, in private, was showing as being posted May 11th, presumably the date I first drafted it.

I gave tumblr the updated details and my primary worries, hopefully the additional information will help. I can confirm that, now, after midnight, the eaten posts are still showing as private, but not as private posts.

Rather, if you go in to edit, they reveal themselves as preview posts (if you go to the three dots and hit preview on a post that's in queue/drafts), because they still have the Five Options instead of just save privately/publicly.

This means that the posts weren't actually posted to private. They just... remained as a post preview/draft, except they are only viewable with the links; they are not in my drafts, back in my queue, or on my blog as actual posts.

I still don't know how to find the dozen or so posts that I lost before I realized what was happening, since they haven't magically reappeared in my drafts (I checked the May 11th location in my drafts and the aforementioned Mando post preview isn't there).

We'll see?

#tumblr #weird glitches #I'm not putting this on tumblr's immediate shoulders because I don't think this is a problem that could be anticipated #both it happening and someone NOTICING it happening #personal

21 notes · View notes

therealvinelle · 2 years

Note

Do you think police/ FBI have ever been close to tracking a missing persons case to Volterra?

Relevant post.

It depends entirely on how much care Heidi takes to cover her tracks. The Guide says her victims don't know where they're going, so we know they can't give anyone any indication of where they went, and Heidi uses private means of transportation so the flight records are bound to be forged (as you don't write the names of all the people you're taking to be murdered down on the passenger list).

To backtrack a bit, we'll do case studies.

John Doe wins a competition

John Doe won a competition, and delightedly told his sister he'd be going for an all included vacation in Alsace for two weeks. When she asked what sort of competition this had been, if this could really be legit, he assured her he'd spoken to a lady about it and she seemed completely reliable, this was all very above board.

He leaves for the airport, and she never hears from him again. Not a phone call, no post cards, and when she tries to get in touch with him there's nothing.

At first she thinks he probably just forgot to call her, or else he's having phone trouble. Europe is far away, after all. Jane decides not to worry about it.

Then the two weeks are up, and John doesn't return.

At this point, Jane goes to the police and tells them her brother is missing. You see, he won a competition and went to France, and that's the last anyone has seen of him.

The police look into his credit card records, no withdrawals have been made. No calls from his phone, no logins at any of his accounts. They go to his house, and (provided Jane can provide a list of items she knew he owned. If not, they might not realize anything is gone at all) find he packed some of his clothes and the suitcase is gone. Everything else is there, though, electronics, family heirlooms, photographs, memorabilia, and so on.

They check the flight records, and find John Doe never caught a flight, not to Francen or to anywhere else. (And if Heidi is very diligent, she tells people to commute to the airport so the police won't wonder why John Doe bothered to drive to the airport (or the dock, or wherever. The woman does have a yacht) and abandoned his car there when he wasn't getting on a flight. Better, and more suggestive, to leave it at home.

... As it is, given that she's using a private jet, Heidi just needs a landing strip. John Doe never went to the airport at all, and the police never find his car.)

John Doe is ruled a suicide, and it's assumed he lied to spare his sister's feelings. The case is closed.

Jane Doe gets a job offer

Two days after his girlfriend Jane went to her exciting job opportunity in Cairo, John can't take her radio silence any longer. He goes to the police, and explains to them how his girlfriend received a job offer out of the blue, she'd never applied to it but it paid really well, would be great for her career, and she couldn't really afford to say no. So, she left to at the very least do the job interview. The company was paying her travel bills, and worst case scenario, she doesn't take the job and spends a weekend in Cairo on the company's expense. There are worse fates.

John hadn't been thrilled about it, but the woman who'd approached Jane had apparently been very proper, very put together and professional, so he trusted Jane's judgement.

Well, it's been two days now, and Jane isn't answering any of her calls.

The police look into this, and I think Heidi might just let there be flight records for this one. Jane did get to Cairo (and was taken to Volterra from there).

And no one has heard from her since.

The police start sweating, and alert Interpol that there's a young woman lured to an airport in a foreign country by someone willing to pay for her plane ticket.

Jane is never found, and it is assumed she's been trafficked.

In conclusion

"What was the point of these case studies, Vinelle" you may ask, and it's that people will always search for the easiest explanation available.

Depending on what information Heidi leaves people with (did person A get to the airport, did person B actually leave the country, did person C get asked to keep their job interview a secret and just slip out for a weekend), it'll either seem obvious what happened to a person, or it'll be a mystery where the police can't quite figure out what happened.

If the police think they know what happened, no further investigation is held. It's only if it's the latter, if the pieces of the puzzle don't quite satisfy them, that they decide to look closer. Going from there, if they don't realize the missing person was taken out of the country they never track them to Volterra. If they do, then you're looking at the case being transferred to Interpol who have already have a metric ton of missing people to track down.

More worryingly, some time may have passed from our missing person being taken to Volterra to Interpol starting their search. First, someone had to report them missing. Could have happened immediately after, but given the thing all of Heidi's victims have in common is that they're leaving their homes voluntarily, the people around them will need a day or two, if not weeks, before reporting them missing.

Then you have the local/domestic police investigation, which could take anything from days to months (I don't know how police process their cases), until finally the case is transferred to Interpol.

In the best case scenario, John Doe was reported missing right away and the police immediately realized this was a case for Interpol. Interpol is on the ball and on the look after only a few days.

They are, however, going to search in whichever part of the world John Doe went missing in. John Doe said he was going trekking in Machu Picchu, that means they're searching in Peru, not in Italy.

Assuming that John Doe was going to Europe, though, Interpol's one chance at getting any intel on what happened to him is if anybody who saw him sees that he's missing. Which I'll caveat is... not likely, considering Heidi likely shuttles her victims straight to the Volturi palace. John Doe doesn't get the chance to chat with the locals or do any shopping (god forbid, that way his bank records show he was in Tuscany), anybody seeing him would have to spot him passing and then remember his face well enough to feel confident it's the guy they saw when they see his missing person poster. That in turn makes any identifications of John Doe unreliable in the eyes of Interpol, and they conclude it's a false tip.

Tracking a missing person's case to Volterra would require a lot of contrived circumstances, bad luck, and oversight on Heidi's part. I don't think it's impossible, nothing ever is, but I think it's highly unlikely to happen.

#heidi #volturi #the volturi #twilight #twilight renaissance #trafficking #suicide mention cw #suicide mention #trafficking cw #twilight meta

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beyondthisdarkhouse · 1 year

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I saw you are reading Young Men and Fire -- it is possibly the best non-fiction book I've ever read. MacLean has also written other memoirs and short stories that are just as lyrical and beautiful but less harrowing

My god, is it harrowing. I'm kind of reading it because during certain moods, my brain requires dark nonfiction to chew over. It's like grit that absorbs ambient anxiety and keeps it from getting up to mischief.

(Previous reads in this category include Under the Banner of Heaven by John Krakauer, No Visible Bruises by Rachel Louise Snyder, and 100:1 The Crack Legacy by Christopher Johnson. I think most people use true crime for this, but what my brain really wants is stories about systems.)

It's also... strangely, painfully good to read about my kind of place, and the beauty and horrors in it. I'm from hundreds of km north of Montana, but I also grew up moving around that transition zone, from prairie to forest, from flatland to mountain. It's where my heart is.

And a lot of my early... damage, I guess? Is from just how brutal it is, to be so much alone, in the face of all these elements that want to kill you. It actually goes back generations, because my family have all been scarred with their own different ways of coping with it. My parents, my grandparents, their grandparents.

There's a part in James Keelaghan's song about the Mann Gulch Fire (Cold Missouri Waters) that just says: "Too big to fight it/we'll fight it from the ridge instead" that just expresses how it feels sometimes, to know that the enormity of the elements are lining up to kill you, and nothing you do probably matters, but also, your entire life depends on what you do next.

I've never faced anything so intense as a crowning wildfire, but I've had other experiences--cutting my leg on a barbed-wire fence and having to walk home before I could do anything about it, capsizing a boat on a cold May day and being unable to right it and sincerely believing I was going to die from hypothermia--that stem partly from having to know what mistakes will put me at risk of really dying.

And it isn't malice, and it isn't exactly neglect or a failure on the part of the authorities, and you can spend so many years numbly accepting the inevitability of death that when someone says, "Actually, I think this kind of death isn't inevitable, so let's declare these deaths unacceptable and go to war against them" they sound absolutely crazy.

But I've also been on the side of declaring many types of deaths unacceptable instead of inevitable, and been the madman in the wilderness, and made real change. Young Men and Fire is all about that.

It's also really nice to see something that speaks with a long-familiar accent I've never really seen typologized or emulated accurately. A voice that sounds like a bunch of cowboys gathered around a fire as night turns blue, sharing their griefs and woes and philosophies, pulling together Scots and German and Texan flavour to their English, more Chinook Wa-Wa than they realize. It's my second accent, the one I can't consciously switch into, but do when someone at an Edmonton bus station asks to bum a smoke off me and all I have to give is a bus ticket, or when I'm at a livestock show and I want to ask someone if that steer is a Limousin or just a pale Red Angus and I want them to assume I understand about cattle breeds and reply without giving a five-minute preamble on animal husbandry to the kooky city lady first.

It doesn't surprise me that it's an accent shared by woodsmen of the mountains; MacLean's people and mine are not distinct entities, but an intertwined community of people who are trying to live on this land that owns us but is never really ours.

#waxing poetic #young men and fire

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moonchildstyles · 2 years

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okay but mr and mrs Malibu going to a drive in movie 🥹 like h wanted to surprise her so he didn’t tell her he bought the tickets and he’s coming home from work to her finishing up dinner and she turns around to greet him and he pecks a kiss to her lips and asks “are you comfortable?” and she’s ???? bc what kind of question is that??? So he’s “is that dress comfortable??” and she’s “um… not really, why?” so he’s “go change into a more comfortable one, okay darling?” so she’s still confused but she goes with it and she comes back to the kitchen and he’s packing dinner into Tupperware containers and she’s “h what’s going on??” starting to worry and he can’t stop smiling, going to kiss her on the forehead and “why don’t you go pick out some wine for us, love, while I go get changed? we’re having dinner somewhere else today”:)))) and she’s grabbing a basket to put everything in and a blanket bc she’s assuming it’s a picnic and then they’re getting in the car and he’s pulling in to the drive in and she’s :))) really h??? bc the drive in is playing this sweet romantic movie she’s been dying to see and he’s so happy she’s excited:) the lack of console in the car is coming in handy bc they’re all cuddled up together eating dinner during the previews and he’s singing her praises for her cooking as always :)) and then when the movie starts she’s cuddled up under his arm and they’re sharing the blanket and she’s just so happy:) and he’s especially in love with her tonight he can’t stop kissing her forehead and running his fingers through her hair and squeezing her to his side:( and he gets 😏 and puts his hand on her thigh and is inching upwards 🥸 and she turns to ask him what he’s doing and he smushes their lips together:( and she’s all shy and “h you know I love it but not here please”:( “I’m sorry darling I was just playing, but we can play when we get home” 🥸 so he goes back to innocent touches and forehead kisses but now she’s squirming and not even paying attention anymore and on the way home he asks her what she thought of the movie and she’s all “…huh??” and he’s giggling and they finally get home and he can love on her the way he wants to 🥸 I can’t 🐢

bestie wait stop:((((((((( like hes soooooo excited he was checking the showings and things in the paper on his lunch break and saw that the movie she'd been wanting to go see was at the drive in that night so hes so excited to go home and get her :( and HIM ASKING HER IF HER DRESS IS COMFORTABLE OR NOT:((((((((((((((( hes jsut so sweet wanting to make sure she's comfortable for the movie tonight and while shes changing he packs away their food im completely distraught :( but omg how excited she is when she sees where he's taken her and what movie they’re about to see she doesn't even mind that her dinner is a little cold at this point but omf them cuddling up under the blanket she brought and feeding each other and sipping wine from silly plastic cups and him being annoying about how good her food is always :( but omg I feel like maybe they messed around a little when they were teenagers at the movies so hes just...reminiscing w her at his side giving her head kisses and burying his face in her hair before hes running his hand up her leg and under her dress and shes his cutie getting all shy bc we're married now h! we have to be adults as if shes not getting giggly while hes kissing her neck but alright sorry precious, we'll finishing playing at home then yeah? and shes squirmy and a little dazed by the time they’re going home and h knows hes going to have to take her to see the movie again bc she didn't even watch it :)

#anon #ask #🐢 anon #concept #inspo

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alphabetbill · 5 months

Text

N E O N W O L V E S [ teaser? ]

“ this city is my [ h u n t i n g g r o u n d ] . people like you will always fall prey. no matter how smart you are, now matter how fast or far you run, rabbit. [ y o u ’ l l b e d i n n e r i n t h e e n d ] “

__________________________

He just wants to [ e s c a p e ] the city. She just wants to [ s u r v i v e ] it.

La LaXina is Rockett’s home– and she’ll fight dirty before she ever gives it up. The Neon City has many chips and cracks, sure, but she was born and raised on these rough streets, and her loyalty to them may just be what spells her end. She’s got debts to pay and her own grave waiting, that is, if the Southbanks King of crime can catch her first. Janes Hoffman wound himself stranded in La Laxina after a heist gone wrong sent him packing to the prison city, where the only way out is to climb the ranks and bribe one of the crime High Lords into smuggling you out. He works with lock picks, not fists, and he’ll need all the help he can get to make it out alive. A hungry wolf is a deadly wolf- and the King is out for blood, and he's got his whole pack of animals searching. Rockett can't run from her problems forever, and there are fights Janes won't come out of easily. They'll have to pull something out of their asses and come up with a plan to survive- because there are some fates not worth meeting.

____________________________________________________________

Just a little something I'm working on. I haven't put Rockett on the cover yet because I didn't really want to use a face claim for her, so I guess when the time comes for the first chapters to be posted, you'll be able to imagine her according to your own liking.

I'm working on the first chapter now so if all goes to plan, as many things don't, you'll get to see that pretty soon.

This story will take place in a futuristic cyberpunk city called La LaXina [ La-zeena], which is named after a fictional Goddess of Waste and Discourse. The city [otherwise known as The Neon City or LaLa] serves as a place for the mainland to dump their prisoners. The city is ruled by High Lords [crime bosses], who are Janes Hoffman's only ticket to being smuggled off the island and to another country where he can start out fresh. He teams up with Rockett, a street fighter who is on the run from one of those High Lords, who calls himself the King of the Southbanks. She'll teach him how to fight, how to work some snazzy futuristic weapons and how to move up in the ranks of street-fighting and racing in order to be scouted for jobs by any interested High Lords.

Looking forward to working on it and I hope I'll have some level of dedication but probably not. We'll see how it goes. A trigger warning list will come with each chapter.

#bill skarsgard #bill skasgård #bill skarsgård fanfiction #original fiction #original character #cyberpunk #dystopian

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sophieinwonderland · 9 months

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About the plural artists conversation:

For those who have worries about being at a normal job with a singlet boss, there's a great video about this in the archives of the Plural Positivity World Conference, "2022 Working while Plural Accommodations, Automations, and Disclosure in the workplace"

It's possible to get free/pay-what-you-can tickets for each year's PPWC conference and then afterwards they send an email with a link to give you access to recording from previous years. Highly recommend

But also, yeah. The thing is, I have a LOT of experience with enduring sustained ostracism/harassment/abuse, and grew up thinking that I might as well put my resilience in that area "to good use" in some way (eg I grew up witnessing women politicians getting hounded by the press, and it looked pretty similar to what I was already tolerating in school, so I thought, I could endure that treatment in a job and maybe get some improvements underway). But also, at the actual time that you're busy Enduring, it's really hard to tell just how much it's affecting you, and in retrospect, I did develop good survival skills for that type of scenario, but I also developed CPTSD. If I faced the risk of publicity and hatred again, could it be "finding meaning" in my experiences and reinforcing my strengths as part of healing? Or would it turn into reliving past bad experiences and exacerbating things, making it harder to heal? There's no way of predicting how it would affect me.

So it's a question that I don't have an answer to, either. We should push for a world where succeeding in view of the public eye does not carry an implicit threat, and that project of social change requires a certain amount of openness. Like you don't get a queer civil rights movement if barely anyone comes out.

But also, one thing that I've been contemplating recently is the idea that our choices of how to behave depend on the social context that we're in. And there's a big difference between social spaces where people are trying to live genuinely and with equality and compassion, and social spaces where there's an inherent power imbalance that never really goes away no matter how nicely/ethically the specific people are. And in this capitalist society, with no universal basic income or meaningful safety net, any situation where you're trying to get paid is a situation where you are underneath someone in a power hierarchy, whether you're dealing with a boss or a customer or both. The consequences of poverty create power imbalance. Starhawk writes about this more coherently than I am right now, but you know what I mean.

It's one thing to love having plurality as part of your online identity, where you've got some degree of control over who you engage with, and whether you engage with them at all, because the social context is building a nice community online. But yeah, loving that experience is one thing, but the second money and dependence come into it, you're dealing with a different social context so the decision to be openly plural has a different meaning.

When it comes to surviving under capitalism, you definitely just gotta do what you gotta do. "Branding" is a matter of surviving under capitalism, and so is "controversy-as-promotion" - like, they're both just hollow strategies and I feel like in a way it's completely interchangeable - if you're not free to be genuine, and you have to pick a strategy for survival, then they're all equally bad options in way, because your hand is forced. It's hard to feel good about a decision when that decision was made in awareness of the threat of hatred and/or poverty, for me at least, I feel like no matter what way I end up going, the power and implicit threats set up by society mean that it's a coerced choice and not one made freely.

I feel like I'm sort of rambling, but this is something I think about a lot. My current life plan (and we'll see how that goes, lol) is to write under a penname, because my writing is an area where I want to be genuine and break away from self-censorship; but also, my Plan A is to have other jobs as my main income, so I'm not dependent on writing. For me, that feels important, I think I'll do much better and more meaningful, truthful work as a writer if I can distance that work from the fears and threats and coercion that are impossible to remove from paid work under capitalism. I don't know if I'm explaining this well. I feel like, when it's an unbalanced power situation, you can retain greater dignity and greater freedom to make choices without coercion if you lean heavily on having privacy. So in situations where I need to think about "making money" it becomes necessary to think about professionalism, branding, etc and so there's more self-censorship, and less genuine freedom of choice.

I already sort of have a split between "fandom creative work that can't be monetised" and "other creative work that is safe to mention to colleagues without weird reactions" so it feels natural to me to have multiple avenues for presenting things. I'm planning to publish things under my legal name that I wouldn't mind being seen if I was googled by a boss or landlord. Then the penname(s) can allow for more freedom and authenticity and creativity, for the "meaningful" work that I want to do as a writer or artist, where it would be nice to get money but it's not intended to be commercial.

Of course, I don't know how this will work in reality, since it requires both having time and having time-management skills to be doing multiple avenues of work at once - a lot of people end up finding that the pressure for commercial creation leaves them with no time to make their important art. I hope I won't get too stuck in that type of rut. But I feel pretty good about the idea of being a writer/artist who also has a day job part-time, and then going full "professionalism and privacy and strategically negotiating power imbalances" in the day job, so I've got room to go "full authenticity" in the creative stuff, without those psychological effects of being totally shackled to public opinion of my personal art for food and housing. I'm speaking as someone who has not yet really got an actual career off the ground, but anyway these are my thoughts about how I'm going to go about it in the future, and I feel pretty okay about this as a plan.

That sounds like a solid plan to me! And this is just an excellent post all around!

If anyone is interested in the video, I think I found it here.

youtube

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