#i probably got a ton of this wrong seeing as this is only the third chapter but like. i love this shit. let me live /lh /j
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if you’re in the rise fandom and see this:
go read “all the ashes in my wake” by @crows-murder right now.
(yes, that is an order, and yes, pun intended.)
this post serves as a fic rec, but mainly to let me gush about how much i love this fic without filling up the author’s inbox with a small dissertation (/joking).
for the fic rec part:
leo. cursed. ella enchanted type cursed.
if you have any interest at all in absolutely phenomenal angst, clever writing with a style that’s easy to follow and smooth as butter, on-point characterization and dynamics, and basically anything you could ever ask for of a rise fic,
go. read. this. fic. right. now.
(that said, i am now going to ramble about my specific thoughts concerning the fic and it’s plot, so. possible spoilers beyond this point?)
there have been a growing number of fics in this “sub-genre” of the rise fandom involving a character (generally leo) getting cursed, and then facing off against angsty odds that make you go, “oh. oh, shit.” (/positive)
these curses also tend to involve the phases of the moon in some way, which i think is a very fun and interesting trend
i’ve enjoyed all of the fics that i’ve read which fit into this, but this particular fic may be my favorite yet
it follows a simple formula, neatly tying the a plot (the curse stuff) and the b plot (leo’s conflict with leadership and the strain it’s putting on his relationships) into a neat little bow.
while the idea of leo getting “ella enchanted” is fun on its own, it’s doubly important to the plot and the characterization, as it forces him to have to fix one problem to address the other.
in the first chapter, the author constructs the roots to this, by contrasting leo’s wily, independent nature against the inevitable conflict that will stifle his attempts to act on it.
watching him brush his brothers off, make his own choices and go off on his own, builds this wonderful sense of tension. it hooks you — what’s going to happen when that string is cut?
it plays perfectly into the underlying conflict. leo needs to find a way to overcome his fears of leading the team, or else the rift between him and his team will only continue to widen.
so what does the narrative do? it forces him into a position where he is no longer gets to choose.
this incapacitation is a powerful tool, not only because of the external force of the curse, but also that it plays off of the weaknesses of his character.
this isn’t something that he can just handwave, or take care of on his own. it’s a situation where he needs to ask for help.
but this is leo we’re talking about. of course he isn’t going to go to his brothers about this, or even tell them! but by hiding it and trying to fix it himself, he ends up caught in a deadlock of his own making.
and since it doesn’t look like he’s going to get over himself very soon, it seems more likely that he’ll end up cornered in a very sticky situation indeed (something which i am very much looking forward to seeing, if that is the plan).
it’s genius! to fix his problems with the curse, he has to address his issues with his family first.
my attempts to sound smarter than i actually am aside (/lighthearted), i am so glad this fic is addressing the conflict between raph and leo. not only that, but in a way that feels true to their characters.
unlike other iterations of the tmnt, the roles here are reversed. it’s not the stolid abs responsible leader pitted against the broody loner who wants to be leader, but isn’t the right fit.
it’s rise!raph, who cares about his little brother and wants to support him, and rise!leo who, on some level, doubts his own ability in this new role on the team — to be anything more than “the face man.”
it’s not often where you come across a fic where the a plot and the b plot are equally engaging, but this is one of those rare cases where everything just works. it’s like i’m witnessing the first steps of some great machine, meticulously crafted, a hundred disparate parts working in tandem.
in the third chapter, the angst just works. the pay-off there feels so real, because you get it. you relate to this character. when raph is there, waiting up for him, you know shit’s about to go down. you can feel it.
if the necklace (and therefore the curse) acted as both a narrative device and catalyst, leo’s swords represent the other side of that: the last bit of freedom he has left in this godawful situation.
they’re the last bit of freedom, his only hope of escape. raph taking them (or, rather, leo being compelled to surrender them) has just glorious undertones in the narrative as a whole.
if you were to consider the katanas a representation of leo’s autonomy, it makes sense why him being forced to give them up hits that much harder.
not only is it a tense situation, where leo is fighting back but ultimately unable to overcome the curse, it cements this underlying feeling of helplessness the author has been seeding since the chapter previous.
now that we’re here, with both the a plot and b plot coming into direct confrontation with what leo wants, we recognize that leo cannot continue how he is.
sure, he’ll keep on fighting it (abs i am very much looking forward to seeing how that goes), but this is the point where we know, there is no escaping.
leo is now truly stuck. without his katanas, fubdibg the necklace to break the curse on his own is basically impossible.
and he recognizes this.
leo’s characterization throughout this fic has been some of the best in the business. he’s smart, witty, independent, calculating — probably one of, if not the best true-to-character representations of rise!leo thats i’ve seen so far.
(absolutely phenomenal job there, i cannot stress this point enough.)
in fact, all of the characters in this fic are so well-written? i’m already seeing roots for character development within casey sr. (which i am so here for, oh my gods you don’t even know), and you can’t help but be invested in all of these relationships
we’re constantly being reminded of the emotional conflict, how much of a strain it’s putting on the relationships, not just between raph and leo, but between all of them.
leo sees this, understands something has to change, but feels paralyzed by what that could mean. for him, and his family.
not to beat the metaphorical dead horse, but that scene after leo surrenders his katanas abs flees back to his room? damn. i felt that on a visceral level.
being so tired, so miserable, so helpless, when a part of you knows you’re being irrational, but having your own pride and fear get in the way of that?
not to project all over these characters or whatever, but fuck. it feels like this was written to call out me, specifically (/j /lh)
and urgh! the detail work in this is incredible!
maybe i’m just a slut for somewhat contrived narratives, and definitely contrived foreshadowing, but the way it’s done in this fic comes off as so clean and organized.
it’s like... weaving threads in a tapestry. you can see where the connect, though you’re not quite sure where they’re going, until you can step back abs look at the picture as a whole.
it genuinely feels masterful in some places, like, mother of god, leave some talent for the rest of us!! (/lighthearted)
i could probably keep talking about this forever, but i do have other responsibilities i should be taking care of, and i kind of want to reread the three chapters that are out (as of writing this) again.
who knows, maybe i’ll revisit this in the future, when i have a better basis and understanding of the underlying themes here.
for now, dear author (if you are, for some reason, reading this),i hope you don’t mind my pretentious and meandering thoughts and/or assumptions. you’ll probably see me again, gushing in your comment sections. yours is just the kind of fic that deserves to be gushed about.
#i wrote this all in about an hour with minimal edits#so that’s why it’s all over the place#hopefully it is still comprehensible lmao#i’m not kidding when i say i saw this fic abs it’s summary and literally *gasped* like??? holy shit!!#i put off reading it for when i had a little bit of time but i see now that was a mistake this fic deserves to be read#also i know i don’t usually do this kind of stuff (and should probably be focusing on my own writing whoops)#but i think it would be a crime to not rec this fic bc. i mean. what else can i say?#well a lot but i am physically stopping myself from going on about it and my personal theories about where this could go#if the author does see this: hi you are so cool wtf#why have i not read your stuff before.#ah well there’s always time to make up for it now#rottmnt#rottmnt analysis#idk if i can even technically classify it as that bc it’s like... fic analysis?#what level of turtle brainrot am i on again? /joking#rottmnt fan fiction#rottmnt fics#rottmnt fic recs#rottmmt fic rec#i probably got a ton of this wrong seeing as this is only the third chapter but like. i love this shit. let me live /lh /j
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He loves me, he loves me not
CW: F bomb gets dropped once (pg13 ish), Non Canon compliant, Third person, Fem reader, mean Gojo, some angst, some Geto/Nanami and Haibara x reader, some Utahime x Gojo, No (Y/n), Honorifics, the main character(reader insert) may suffer from Mary Sue syndrome.
“Satoru, Suguru, Shoko.” Satoru looked up from his video game, Suguru closed his book, and Shoko hid her cigarettes from Yaga. They were lounging in the courtyard when Yaga interrupted them. “I’d like you three to meet our new transfer student. She’ll be joining the other first years. She’s from America and has only recently picked up Japanese so please be kind to her.” Yaga nudged her forward.
“Uh, hello. I’m…”
“Pfft! Ahaha! Yaga-Sensei, what is this?” Gojo laughed. “She’s a stuttering little idiot.”
“Come on Satoru be nice.” Geto smiled at the new girl.
“Tsk, whatever. She’s probably weak anyway.”
“Hey! Did you just call me weak?”
“Just speak English, your pronunciation is terrible.” Gojo mocked.
“If I don’t practice, I’ll never get better. Now look who’s being an idiot.”
“What did you just call me short stack?!”
“Gojo, shut up for a second.” Ieiri glared at him. “Something feels wrong.”
A tiny noise sounded from your backpack. It was like a mixture between a growl and a whine.
“Hey short stack. You’ve got a curse in your backpack.” Gojo stated bluntly.
“Okay newbie, we’ll take care of this-”
“NO!!” She cut off Geto and held her bag close to her chest. “She’s not a curse. She’s my best friend.” A little black Chow Chow head popped up from her bag. Yellow spiral eyes blinking furiously, adjusting to the light.
“Arf.” The curse squeaked.
“This is cub. I’ve had them for two years now. My friend Hannah named them. Hannah is an incredible person. She has the makings of a great sorcerer, but she’s not interested.”
“I’m sure she’s lovely.” Shoko smiled at her. Gojo just scoffed.
“Yeah, you should see her use her technique! It’s telekinesis, she was able to lift literal tons! …I miss her a lot.” She said meekly.
“That doesn’t explain why you have a curse with you.” Gojo rolled his eyes.
“Cub is a special curse. Their kind is able to reproduce, back two years ago my dad and I took out the rest of their family. They were cowering in the corner of an abandoned cave system and he let me domesticate them.”
“Great, curses can breed now.” Geto groaned.
“No, just cub and their kind.” She smiled at the three second years. “I’ll be nice and give you one warning. If I see any of you try to hurt them I will make your life hell.”
“I’d like to see you try.” Gojo smirked.
She lifted Cub from her backpack and carried them off. “Cmon Cub. Let’s go unpack in our dorm.”
“Yaga-Sensei! You can’t seriously allow her to keep a curse.”
“There’s nothing I can do about it. The higher ups themselves have ordered her transfer and approved her request to keep the curse.” Yaga sighed.
“Ugh, spoiled brat.”
“Look on the bright side Satoru. This could be interesting.” Suguru smirked.
“Since when were you an optimist?” Shoko rolled her eyes.
“Hey, I just think that could have fun with this.”
“Like what, Suguru?” Satoru moued.
“Don’t know, guess we’ll have to wait and see.”
The next day the new girl introduced herself to her new classmates.
“…but you can call me whatever you like. I look forward to working with you both. Oh and this is Cub. Don’t worry, they’re harmless.”
Haibara gasped excitedly. “They look like a baby bear!”
“Yeah, they’re so cute!”
“Totally! You’re like their mama bear huh?”
“I suppose I am.”
“Can I call you Kuma-Chan then?”
“Of course! But you have to let me call you Yu-Chan.”
“Deal.”
“What about you Nanami-San?” She turned to the blonde boy.
“Yeah! Use a nickname.”
“You don’t have to.” She assured him.
“Nickname! Nickname! Kuma-Chan! Kuma-Chan!” Haibara clapped along with each syllable.
“I’ll think about it… Kuma-San. Ugh that sounds weird.”
Haibara cheered excitedly. Yaga smacked him and started to teach.
After class Haibara invited her out to lunch.
“Hey Short Stack. Come over here.” Gojo beckons her over, curling his finger in a come here motion.
“What?”
“You may think that you’re special, having the old farts drooling all over you and all, but you’re nothing more than a wet hole they can toss away at any moment.”
“Wow. If this is how you see women, it’s no wonder why you’re a virgin.” His smirk dropped, as hers curled tightly onto her lips.
He grimaced at her, stepping toward her to tower over her. “A weakling like you should watch your mouth. I’m the strongest sorcerer in the world, probably all of history.” He slammed her against the wall. “I shake the foundation of the world.” He placed his hand around her throat. “No one would even care if you were to disappear one day.”
She held her hands in a circular position and brought them up to her eye level. Before he knew what happened purple rope surrounded him on the ground then more apparated and entangled his limbs.
“What the Hell?” He grunted.
“Strongest my Ass.” You mumbled and limped away.
“Kuma-Chan! Are you okay?”
“Yeah, Yu-Chan. Just a little light headed. I hate to say it but that Gojo guy is pretty strong.”
“He’s a Gojo, of course he’s strong.” Nanami piped up.
“What do you mean?”
The boys explained the details of the Gojo Clan and Jujutsu society as a whole.
After lunch the Higher ups brought her down to the basement of Jujutsu high. “What is this?”
“This is Tengen. Nullify their energy.”
She held her hands up in a familiar manner and purple rope surrounded the sorcerer.
“It didn’t work.” One of the higher ups remarked.
“Hang on.” She pulled off her backpack and pulled out Cub. “Come on now, Cub. Absorb Tengen’s cursed energy.” They winced and hid into her shoulder. “Please Cub. I know that you’ve been a bit sick but please, try for me.” Cub looked toward Tengen and tried to absorb their cursed energy. “Nothing? Okay bud.” She put them back in the bag.
“Wait.” Tengen called out. “You said that curse could absorb cursed energy?”
“They can transfer it to someone else too.”
“The Star Plasma Vessel will be here in a few days. I want you to absorb their energy and feed it to me.”
“May I know why? I’ve been flown across the world, to an underground bunker, in the forest of an island nation. I have no clue what’s going on.”
“Men, leave us.” The higher ups leave the two sorcerers and the curse. “I am dying, it is happening very soon. My consciousness will evaporate and I will morph into a higher plane of existence. The Star Plasma Vessel has the Cursed Technique to renew my form but they can only use it upon death, thus can only be activated once. I believe that your pet can absorb it and transfer it to me without casualties.”
“What if it doesn’t work?”
Tengen had gone quiet after that.
“Okay…” She turned and walked out.
The day of the full moon was the day of the merge, and it was also the scariest day of her life. The day started out with Haibara and Nanami asking her to accompany them on a mission; she declined.
“Huh? But what could be more important than this?”
“Don’t worry about it Yu-Chan. The higher up’s gave me a different mission and I have to stay here.”
“Just let it go Haibara.” Nanami pat him on the shoulder and the two left.
Next she went to the armory to get a weapon just in case of emergencies. “Ooh a machete. What do you think bud? Should I go Jason Voorhees on their asses?” She swished the machete around as cub sits on the floor.
“Arf!”
“I’ll take that as a yes.”
She then spent the rest of the day chilling on the roof of one of the buildings, keeping watch over the school to see when the boys would return.
Eventually Geto ran past her and Cub. “Geto-Senpai!”
“Satoru is in danger! If you want to be useful go help him!”
“Take Cub with you!” She threw her pet down to Geto, Riko, and the maid.
She then went off to find where Gojo was. On the way she came face to face with Toji Fushiguro.
She assumed a fighting position and shouted, “Who the hell are you?” He didn’t respond as he pulled out a gun from his worm and shot her. The bullet pierced through her stomach.
“Out of my way.” He spat coldly as he stepped over her. She lay unmoving on the floor as he walked away. She didn’t need to give him a reason to think she wasn’t dead and risk him coming back to finish the job.
After he was a good distance away she felt that it was safe to get up. She pulled the bullet out with her hands as red vines surrounded the wounded like bandages. Then she pulled on them and they disappeared along with the wound.
She got up ran in the direction Toji left in. “No doubt he was already to the elevator by now.”
She got there just as the elevator doors closed and she saw Toji looking surprised at her. She used the Machete she had borrowed earlier to pry the elevator doors open. She then sliced the cables on the elevator. “Who says you can’t bring a knife to a gun fight?” She then takes a different elevator down and runs through the tunnels to get to Geto and Riko.
On Toji’s end he had heard the snap of the elevator cables and been quick. He pried open the doors and used one of his swords to plunge into the space between the doors and jam the elevator still. He took a moment to catch his breath. He then opened the ceiling hatch and crawled up into the open. He looked between the cracks and saw that he was only a few feet from the bottom to if he hit it it most likely wouldn’t kill him. He hesitantly crawled back into the elevator and slowly pulled his sword out. The elevator plummeted down to the bottom and Toji lost his footing and hit his head pretty hard. “Ugh. That brat, I should’ve finished her off when I had the chance.” He rested for a few seconds before he got up and walked through the tunnel.
Halfway through a snarling wrathful creature came charging a him. Cub bit into Toji’s right side as he swung at the poor creature. Toji kept swinging but Cub started to jump around and claw at the man. He was getting tired of the creature but he couldn’t really do anything to them. After a few minutes he finally grabbed Cub and threw them hard against the wall. Cub whimpered and crawled towards Toji, not willing to give up fighting yet. Toji stabbed them in the side and walked on towards the other side of the tunnel.
When he finally got to the end he yelled exasperated. “OH COME ON!! I shot you, and you gave me a head start when you cut the elevator cord, but somehow you got here before me!”
“You’re not getting the star plasma vessel that easily.”
She apparated a glowing white metal chain to her and struck him with it. He grabbed it and pulled her closer to him grabbing her and threw her down the tunnel behind him.
She heard a familiar whimper come from farther down and she rushed to see Cub. “Oh shit! No no, please! Cub!” She surrounded them in red vines and smiled softly when they licked her hand. She sprinted back down the tunnel in a fury.
she handed Cub off to Riko who had been abandoned by the boys who were fighting. She summoned her chains and swung over to them. She struck Toji in the face and again on his back. She kept swinging. His arms his legs his sides. Geto had to physically stop her as she jumped closer to the assassin and was almost hit by one of his curses.
“Careful Kohai!”
“I’m going to kill him! He nearly killed Cub!” She screamed as tears poured down her face.
“I’ll handle this! You get Riko to safety.”
“But-”
“No offense Kohai but you’ll get in my way if you jump in guns blazing. Go help Gojo, get him to Shoko.”
“Okay.” She swung away. “Senpai! Here!” She pointed at him and a light blue ribbon shot towards him and was absorbed into him. She pulled Riko and Cub away down one of the tunnels to get to the elevator.
“Gojo!” She and Riko called out as he stood in front of them. He ran toward the two and hugged Riko. It did feel like a bit of a punch that he’d greet Riko first, but it’s not like the two were close so she shouldn’t feel bad about it, right?
“Hey Gojo-Senpai, Geto-Senpai wanted me to get you to Shoko Senpai.”
“No need.”
“Alright then, come on Cub, absorb Riko’s energy.”
“WHAT?!” The two scream.
“Riko can Absorb Cursed Energy and either transfer it to someone else or use it to amplify their attacks. I could boost their ability to do so if I had any energy left but I used the rest to boost and refuel Geto-Senpai.”
“Back up, back up. What can you do?”
“I have purple rope that nullifies, white chains that attack, red vines that heal, and light blue ribbons that buffs someone. I well it’s more complicated, I can use the last bit of my cursed energy to refill someone’s cursed energy as well as boost the strength of their attack.”
“You’re like Shoko and Utahime combined, but weaker.”
“I don’t know about that. She was beating up that assassin pretty easily.” Riko smiled.
“I don’t know what world you are living in but that was not easy.” She declared.
“Weak.” Gojo Whisper yelled.
“Shut up!”
“Here, if you need cursed energy have your little bear thing refill yours with mine.” Gojo held out his hand towards the curse. Cub nearly bit him.
“Do you by any chance have a high amount of cursed energy?”
“Yeah, it’s basically unlimited. Why?”
“So you’re why Cub’s been sick lately!” Cub started to consume energy as their human kept talking. “They get kinda sick and cranky when they’re surrounded by a large amount of Cursed energy.” The two did the transfer and Cub took away Riko’s cursed energy. “Now if you two will excuse me I’m going to go help Tengen.”
A few days later and life was getting on at Jujustu High. Riko and her maid had gone home, Tengen was stable, Shoko had healed Geto, and no one had heard anything about Toji since he fled.
“Hm? Short stack! Where are you going?” Gojo called out as he saw her leaving the premises with her suitcases and Cub riding in her backpack.
“Good luck with your future endeavors Gojo-Senpai!” She smiled back at him. “I’ll be taking my leave now.”
“Huh? What do you mean?” He ran up to her.
“My purpose for coming to Japan is fulfilled. I’m going back to America.”
“What? You’re leaving?” He asked exasperated.
“Yes. Is there a problem?” She tilted her head slightly confused.
“You can’t leave!”
“Why not?”
“Because there aren’t as many curses anywhere else in the world. If you want to get stronger you have to stay.”
“I’m strong enough to protect myself and those I love.”
“Oh really?”
“Why do you even care?”
“I want to fight you. You beat me once but rest assured that will never happen again. I want you at your strongest so that I can destroy you.”
“Ugh. Can you be any more petty?”
“You’re not leaving Tokyo yet. I’ll talk to the higher ups and get them to let you stay.” He pats her on the head like she’s a dog.
“The world doesn’t revolve around you, ya know. I don’t want to fight you. And after this past week I don’t think that I want to become a sorcerer anymore.”
“Just… stay for the rest of the school year. If you really want to leave after that go ahead.”
“Is your ego really that fragile that anyone who can possibly crush the brittle piece of masculinity you have has to be “put in their place”?”
“You wish. Like I already told you. I am Gojo Satoru. I am the strongest sorcerer in history. Mountains crumble before me. Raging oceans calm at the snap of my fingers. I can destroy everything that you’ve ever loved so be a good girl and sit tight while I get ready to humiliate you.”
She just looked at him bored. “You know, your fly has been down this entire conversation.”
He blushes and looks down to see that she was lying and looked up to see her giggling to herself and walking back towards the dorms. “See you later Tomato Face.”
“I’m going to kill her one day.” Gojo mutters to himself.
Weeks went by without her even realizing it. Everyday was rigorous training; her speed, strength, and stamina had all increased.
“Okay, let’s try domain expansion.” Yaga said as he held up a clipboard jotting down notes for an examination to determine her rank. They were out on the track field measuring the strengths and limitations of her cursed Techniques.
Haibara and Nanami came out to support her while the second year students came out because Gojo wanted to make fun of her.
“Oh, um… I don’t have a domain. See, because I can nullify cursed energy I can’t exactly use a domain to amplify my nullification. They kinda cancel each other out.” Gojo snickered watching from above at the top of the stairs. Geto elbowed him in the side as Shoko glared.
“Don’t worry Kuma-Chan! You’re doing great!” Haibara yelled supportively.
“Can’t you just put me in grade 4? I don’t really know if I want to stay here anyway.”
“Listen, I know that this isn’t the most ideal situation, but you’re here at Jujutsu High anyway and most people want you to succeed.”
“Look, I’m hungry, I’m tired, I want to go take a hot shower and finish up my day by watching Naruto. Can we please just finish this up?”
Yaga sighed and clicked his pen in. “Fine, we should have enough Data to sort you.”
Haibara ran over to her. “Kuma-Chan! Don’t you want the fame of a Jujutsu sorcerer?”
“No not really. I think you and Nanami-San will be great sorcerers. Ieiri-Senpai and Geto-Senpai will be amazing too.”
“What about me, short stack?” Gojo teleports behind her and wraps an arm around her shoulder.
“Yeah yeah, you’ll become the strongest sorcerer and you’ll have women throwing themselves at you, you’ll be so rich that you’ll use paper money to wipe your ass, and if anyone ever talks back to you you’ll kill them without a second thought.” She replied sarcastically.
“Wrong! I’m already the strongest.” He booped her nose. She rolled her eyes and pushed him off her.
“Drop dead SENPAI.” She said tauntingly, and walked off.
Geto smirked and walked alongside her. “You sure told him off.”
“…Can we not talk about him Senpai? How have the curses been.”
“Tasting like Shit as usual.”
“Do you want me to make you some sweets?”
“That sounds lovely sweetness.”
…
“Since when did they get so close?” Gojo side eyed the two.
A year later Yaga sent Haibara and Nanami out on a mission.
“Can I come along?”
“Are you sure you want to?” Nanami asked worried.
“Can’t let you two have all the fun, now can I?” She smiled and left with the boys.
“Pfft. She thinks that she’s all that.” Gojo rolled his eyes.
“She is pretty nice.” Geto replied smiling at the thought of the yummy pasties that she’d cook when she got home.”
“Oh yeah. I bet you’d know all about it seeing as you two are best friends.”
“Are you jealous?” Geto’s voice held a bit of mirth to it as he teased his best friend.
“NO! I just don’t like that she’s taking away everything that is rightfully mine! My title as the strongest, my best friend, next she’ll take away my girlfriend.”
“You don’t have a girlfriend. And she tied you up once a year ago, I highly doubt that you could call her the strongest.”
“Okay second point first, it’s still a blow to my reputation, okay? And while I don’t have a girlfriend yet once I do she’ll probably go around spreading lies about me.”
“Who would you even want for a girlfriend? Riko? Shoko? Utahime?”
“Um… someone who can keep up with me. Someone who’s kind and thoughtful. Someone strong enough to keep my family off my ass but someone I can protect and provide for. She’ll have to be okay with me leaving for missions all the time though.” At Gojo’s confession Geto bursts out in laughter. Gojo blushes. “What’s so funny, Suguru?”
“Your ideal girlfriend sounds just like the woman you were bitching about not even 15 seconds ago. She doesn’t just kiss your ass, she’s made me pastries on many occasions to wash out the awful taste of curses, she has incredible power but overall doesn’t want to become a sorcerer, and since she’s been on several missions she’d understand the hardships of having to travel for work.”
“No, Suguru that’s crazy talk. I don’t love her and I’ll prove it to you.”
“How?”
“I’m going to tell Yaga that she left without permission.”
“What? No, Satoru. Do not narc on the poor girl just because I said that you have a crush on her.”
“I do not!”
“Gojo has a crush on who now?” Shoko appeared to the boys.
“No one!” Satoru shouted.
“Okay, calm down!” Shoko sighed.
The next day the three came back, Nanami carrying her in his arms.
“I’m sorry! I’m sorry! I’m so fucking sorry!” Haibara sobbed into Geto’s shoulder.
“What happened?”
“She took a hit for Haibara… her Achilles tendon was slashed and she lost a hand. Haibara broke one of his ribs and the curse ripped his arm clean off. Eventually we were able to get her enough cursed energy to heal herself and Haibara, but she overdid it and she hasn’t woken up since.”
“HAIBARA!! NANAMI!! YOU ASSHATS WERE SUPPOSED TO PROTECT HER!!” Satoru yelled as he ran into the room. Geto had to physically restrain him and explain the whole situation. “She wasn’t supposed to be on that mission.” Cub walked over on their hind legs and pawed at Gojo, sucking up some of his energy. They then rushed over to their human and refilled her energy so.
“Yu! Kento!” She shot up she pulled Yu into a tight hug and as the other three boys in the room watched on. “Jackass. I thought that I’d lost you.” She softly sobbed.
“Okay Short Cake I think that’s enough excitement for one day. I’ll bring you back to your dorm.” Gojo pulled her away from Haibara and picked her up.
“Hey! Put me down!” She screamed as he started to walk away.
“Call me Satoru and I just might.”
“This isn’t funny Gojo-Senpai!”
“Why so cold? Not even 5 seconds ago I you used Haibara and Nanami’s first names. Come on~ three little sounds Sa~To~Ru~”
“Never!”
“I’ll give you a kiss if you be a good girl and say my name!”
“Yu Yu! Kenny! Help me!”
“Now they have their own nicknames? You’re being so mean.”
“Sugu! He’s your friend! Do something!”
“Even my own best friend gets this special treatment. Oh how you wound me.” He pouted.
“Should we do something?” Kento asked.
“Nah, I’m going to love teasing him about this for the next month.” Suguru smirks recording the whole thing.
At the end of the year She and Gojo finally battled; he wiped the floor with her.
“Congrats, strongest sorcerer.” She smiled at him.
“Thanks. In a year how about we have a rematch? Does best two out of three work for you?”
“Only if you count this round one. I don’t think I could go three rounds with you.”
“Technically this is round two since you beat me as a first year. Next year at your graduation winner takes all.”
“I wasn’t really trying back then but you’re on.”
“Gojo are you bullying this poor girl?”
“Look who decided to show up. Short cake this is Mei Mei and Utahime.”
“Nice to meet you both.” She smiled.
“Gojo! You should show me more respect as your senior!” Utahime glared. As the two started to bicker Mei Mei pulled the other woman away.
“Sorry hun. He’s taken.”
“What?”
“I can tell that you have an interest in him, but look at them over there. Do you see his smile? The fire in his eyes when he looks at her? The way he laughs so carelessly? His heart belongs to Utahime.”
“Sa- …Gojo-Senpai, I have to go. I’ll see you in a year.”
“Wait. You’ve still got two weeks til you have to go back to school.”
“Yeah, um. I think I’m going to go back to America.”
“Why? You were just there.”
“Six months ago for Christmas break.”
“Oh… has it really been that long? Okay well. I’ll see you around!”
“Yeah…”
She went back to her dorm and sobbed into her Pillow. After a good hour she bought a ticket to go home, and started to pack.
“Wow. Sweet Eighteen has done you well.” Gojo smirked.
“Tch. Don’t be a creep.” She said as the two assumed a fighting stance.
The battle was chaos. Attack after attack was fired. Eventually she nullified his cursed technique and jumped on him. She got onto his shoulders and started to hit his head.
“…Short cake… hang on for a moment… I’ll surrender if you do something for me.”
“What exactly.”
“Squeeze your legs together. As hard as you can.”
“Are you kidding? That’ll suffocate you!”
“That’s kind of the point sweetheart.” As he said that she just fell back in shock. He caught her as she fell. “Is that a no? If you’re not into that I’m more than willing to suffocate in your chest.”
“Shut up!”
“Short Cake, what happened to us? You haven’t talked to me in a year. We were so close after you nearly died.”
“Oh don’t act like you care about me! Just go off and marry that Utahime chick!”
“I don’t want to marry her.”
“Please. I saw the way you looked at her at your graduation.”
“Oh you mean like how you’re so touchy with Suguru and Haibara and Nanami, and all those assholes on your social media accounts!”
“Are you kidding? You have no right to judge how I chose to move on from my heartbreak. It’s not like you’ve been very chaste anyway. You’ve “supported” a few girls financially here and there over the past year and you have the balls to act like I’m in the wrong?”
“You ghosted me!”
“Because Mei Mei said that you were in love with Utahime!”
“Yeah? Well she lied. Utahime has never made me feel like I was at threat of being overthrown as the strongest. For two years you came at me with comeback after comeback and I finally felt alive! Two years I watched you give Suguru sweets and I begged him to share even half a crumb with me! Two years I watched you squander your potential because you didn’t feel like you deserved to be here! I’m done holding back.” He grabbed her by the back of her head and kissed her, he then whispered her full name lowly in her ear and vowed that one day soon he would marry her.
“Come here dumbass.” She kissed him again. “I love you Satoru.”
“I love you too.”
“I could have been named Sasuke?” Her and Satoru’s 5 year old son pouted.
“Toru suggested that name and I shot him down. We already have one emo son in Megumi. We didn’t need another one.”
“Kakashi! Nezuko! Why is my very pregnant wife and your very pregnant mother out here in the cold?”
“Hun, it’s September, and 75 degrees out.”
“Sorry Papa.” The three year old girl teared up.
“Great Satoru. Now you’re making our daughter cry.”
“Sorry Short Cake. Megumi! Can you help your mother to the couch?”
“She is not my mother. No offense.”
“Non taken. I know that you only say that because then technically he’d be your father.”
“Hey! He’s a great dad!” Kakashi defended.
“Yeah! He’s the best daddy!” Nezuko adds.
“I suppose you are great, aren’t you Daddy~?” She teased. The children painfully unaware of the meaning.
“Are they like this all the time?” An unfamiliar voice called from the foyer of the Gojo Estate. Her face burnt up in embarrassment.
“Mrs. Gojo. Meet Itadori Yuuji and Kugisaki Nobara, Megumi’s new classmates.
“Please pretend like you didn’t hear me earlier.” She requested meekly.
“Done. Gone from my memory.” Yuuji smiled plainly.
“Yeah yeah, I don’t really care about Sensei’s bedroom affairs.” Nobara hand waved it away.
“Megumi. How about you show your friends around and put your siblings down for a nap?” Satoru suggested.
Megumi nodded and everyone left the two alone.
“I love you Mrs. Gojo.”
“I love you too Mr. Gojo.” And as Sakura petals fall the two embraced in a tender kiss.
#jujutsu kaisen#gojo x reader#jjk#gojo satoru#gojou satoru x reader#jjk gojo#jujutsu kaisen satoru#satoru gojo#satoru x reader#satoru angst#jjk satoru#satoru x you#satoru x y/n#gojo satoru x you#geto suguru#ieiri shoko#satoru gojo x reader#gojo x you#gojo x y/n#gojo satoru x reader#haibara yu#nanami kento
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Phoebe Spengler x gn!reader
Four times you hugged Phoebe, and first time she hugged you...
Just a quick warning that this was written really late with no proof reading of any kind, so I'm sorry if this makes no sense with tons of spelling mistakes. I hope you enjoy xoxo
★
A hug from Phoebe Spengler was rare. She wasn't a very touchy feely person, not that there's anything wrong with that, it's just the polar opposite of you.
Sure there had been a few times throughout yours and Phoebe's friendship when you had some sort of contact but it was usually initiated by you, almost never by her.
1: it was a Sunday, a day when neither of you had anything to do so you watched a movie at hers. It was a slow day, there were no calls about ghosts roaming New York so you thought you had the day together.
Unfortunately they got a call half way through the movie. It didn't sound too serious so Phoebe told you you could wait there and finish the movie without her, as long as you promised to watch it again with her so she could finish it with you, she said she'd be back soon but things didn't exactly go to plan.
Almost an hour after the movie finished they still weren't back, you were checking all social media sites, local news sites, texting and calling Phoebe but you couldn't see anything. It was good though, right? If there was something life threatening going on it would be in the news, maybe this call was a bit more complicated than they had initially thought.
Turns out it was. Much more complicated. There were multiple ghosts all over the place that evidently took practically forever to catch. That's what Phoebe was saying as she was coming up the stairs of the firehouse. She barely managed to finish her sentence before you almost knocked her off her feet, you had ran at her as soon as you saw her, wrapping your arms tightly around her shoulders and burrowing your head into her shoulder.
"I'm sorry but I was so worried" you whispered,
"no it's fine, I should have called" she whispered back as she brought her arms around your back, holding you for a moment before you pulled away, thinking she probably had had enough.
2: there was a sort of tournament that your school held, your class was split into groups and you had to complete tasks as a team and whoever did the best would win a shitty plastic trophy. The only good thing about it was that your whole grade got half a day out of lessons and got to be with your friends.
This year you got to be with Phoebe and a few other people you didn't know, but they seemed nice enough. You all worked well together, flying through the tasks, and when it came to one of the last ones that only needed one person from each team, they put you forward.
You weren't sure at first but managed to do it in good time. You finished fourth which you were really happy with, running back to your group you went straight to Phoebe and threw your arms around her, she reciprocated almost immediately, saying "you did so well!"
"I know! I did not expect to finish so quickly" you pulled back begrudgingly but with a smile on your face, not completely satisfied from the short hug.
3: whenever you and Phoebe were hanging out, you didn't really plan what to do in advance with the possibility of her need to go and catch a ghost, you know, normal teenager stuff. This didn't mean you never did anything other than watch movies and play board games, sometimes you went out, like the time you went to an arcade.
It was dark inside, only lit with neon strobes and the lights from the machines. Time went by so quickly, one second you were deciding what to do first, the next you were playing a machine for the third or fourth time.
It was one of those games that you weren't supposed to win, so when Phoebe the genius Spengler didn't win the first try, you knew you would be there a while. It didn't take her too long to win a prize - a stuffed elephant which she gave to you - but it took more than five minutes so she was really excited when she finally won!
She celebrated by holding her arms up, along with you, and you put an arm around her side and squeezed as a well done, intending to immediately pull away but she put her arm around you in a similar way and so you stayed like that until she wanted to move onto the next game.
4: it was a rainy day, you had slept over at Phoebe's and were lying on her bed whilst she was doing something at her desk, you weren't sure if she was constructing something or deconstructing it. Was there a difference really?
You were scrolling on your phone, just enjoying her presence, when you got an email. It was for an interview for a job that you had been waiting to hear back from all week, so to say you were excited was an understatement.
You sat up on her bed, reading the email to make sure it was actually for the interview which it was! You were now standing up, rereading the email again before you said, "I got an interview"
"what was that" Phoebe asked, not really listening,
"I got an interview" you said slightly louder, still fixated on the email
"you did? That's amazing, you'll definitely get it" she had turned to face you and you looked up and smiled at her,
"you really think so? I mean what if-" you stopped at her putting her hands on your shoulders, you looked up at her,
"you will do great, you are perfect for the position"
You rushed forward into a quick hug, whispering "thanks" into her chest.
The first time she hugged you:
It was a miserable day out and a call had just come in about a small ghost roaming an apartment complex. It seemed completely normal and they knew they could handle it, the only thing was that the apartment complex happened to be the same one that you and your parents lived in.
It wasn't any different to any other ghost they had caught before, it's just that you could possibly get in the middle of things and Phoebe didn't want you to get hurt.
You didn't even know there was a ghost nearby until you got a call from Phoebe letting you know, she told you to stay in your apartment until she called you again, an instruction you fully intended to follow. Until the ghost ended up in your living room getting goo all over the couch.
You thought it probably wasn't best to be in the same vicinity as the ghost so left and waited near the hall, where the Ghostbusters would most likely come from.
You were wrong with your guess as to which way they would come from, and they ended up catching the ghost in your place, getting goo everywhere. Once all the commotion was over, Phoebe was looking around and recognised it as your apartment, so she went looking for you throughout the apartment, finding no one.
She was getting worried when she finally thought to call you, you answered and she spoke before you could think of getting sword out.
"where are you"
"I'm down the hall, did you get it-" you were cut off by her hanging up on you, and then nearly knocked over by her running at you and crushing you in her arms. You immediately hugged back, "what's up"
"you weren't in your apartment, I was worried" she mumbled into your hair
"oh yeah, there was a ghost in there so I thought I'd better wait outside" she chuckled,
"well that would have been nice to know"
You smiled at her words, relishing in her warmth.
★
Thanks if you read this it means a lot! My ask box is open for any questions or any feedback if there's something you think I could improve on xx
#cute#ghostbusters#phoebe spengler#phoebe spengler x reader#ghostbusters frozen empire#touch is my love language#i heart phoebe spengler#late night thoughts
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♡ Eggnog.♡
You and your lover are wearing cute, matching black and white turtlenecks with cute little reindeer and snowflakes on them ,with you wearing matching black pants and well kenji just wore normal dark blue sweats with the sweater.. Well, at least he got the sweaters. That's all the matters, i guess. You needed this sweater for a family Christmas party, and your boyfriend happened to get silly and ended up marking you all over your neck. You guys were currently driving up to your parents' house, which wasn't anything too big like just a normal second story with tons of space, but that's to an extent. When you guys arrived, you could see there were already a few cars that were parked near the house,realizing it might be your aunts or uncles car. You weren't really close with your family, only your mom and dad. Your sibling was overseas and wouldn't make it back in time. So that kinda left your uncles,aunts,and cousins, which you weren't really a fan of but were going because again of your parents and you loved them. When you entered the house, you immediately got hugged by your parents as Kenji walked past them to the bowl filled with eggnog and food.
Noted you were gonna be the designated driver.
You knew your parents didn't really like Kenjii because they think he's immature with no manners, but if you're happy, then that's all that matters to them. On the other hand, you knew Kenji hated your uncle and aunts who can't mind their own business, so you know you had to watch him before a fight breaks out.
You were catching up with your parents about what you been up to and your mother compliment on your outfit and how you looked so cute today. You smiled shyly and thanked her. Little does she know that there were lots of love bites under there. A few more family members come up to you,talking about boring things,maan your family sure does like to talk. You happen to notice your boyfriend was now on his second cup of eggnog now,seeing him chugged it down in an instant. He really must not want to be here,you felt bad in dragging him here. You saw the signs earlier but ignored them, hoping things would go well,but now you can see how the night might turn out. It could end well, but something will go wrong, you thought. You were too busy with your thoughts. You almost didn't hear one of your aunts asking if you were still with Kenji.
"Huh? Oh yeah,he's right over there." You said point to the brunette who's on his third cup,maybe fourth by now. Your aunts gossip amongst themselves as you just kinda left them be not really wanna hear the bs they would be saying. You made way to your boyfriend who was flushed in the face,"Baby,are you okay?" You asked softly,cupping his face with your hands. He gives you a small grin,"mush better now you're here." He slurs a little, placing his hand on your waist. "Sorry i left you alone for a few moments, i should have stopped you while you were on your second cup." You said,feeling bad that he had to drink to even tolerate your aunts and uncles just in case they something to him that'll piss him off. He smiled and chuckled at you,probably unaware of what he was laughing about, but he knew one thing for sure, no one mattered.. wait, he meant to think no one, but you matter to him at the moment. He couldn't really think straight,he leans down and kisses you. Your eyes widened as you tasted the eggnog he was drinking ,feeling your mind getting a little foggy and a little intoxicated. You shyly moved away, breaking the kiss. Your boyfriend stared at you with a small frown on his face,"Ay, don’t shy away from me. cmere,” he says,grabbing your face and gently kissing you again. You felt like your legs were going to give out, and your heart was gonna beat out of your own chest,"Knnj-" you tried to say his name, but it just came out as a muffle. When he finally let up to let you breathe,you looked dazed, and he drunkily smiled at you,"so " He chuckles, which you laughed back in response before you knew it. You two were kissing again. He kisses you like he needed you to live,you had your hands in his hair,gently pulling it, earning a loan groan from him. Then suddenly it then hit you.. you were still at the party. You pulled away and took your hands out of his now messy brown locks,"We're still at the party!" You whispered to him,which he could care less. If you're being honest, no one paid attention to you guys as if they wanted to take their leave as quickly to not to deal with Kenji or see/talk to him. Your lover takes hold of your hands,putting them back in his hair,"keep your hands in my hair." He said, not caring if people see you guys or not. "Kenji.." you said as he kisses you,"Gotta.." Feeling his arms, bringing the two of you closer as he still gives you kisses ,"drive.." You managed to say out. The kiss is once again broken,both of you guys are panting,chesst rising and falling,"I'm sure your parents has an extra room.. we cans stay the night, then leave when sober. "He bites his lip as his hands move their way to your thighs
"Jump."
You do as he says,jumping as he holds you securely,almost falling on top of you as you wrapped your legs around his waist.
"Im sure your fam won't mind if you're gone for a bit." He said as he stumbled but made it to the guest room with you.
#hello tumblr#vtuber#fanfic#no proofreading we die like men#kenjivtuber#sunkenji#my writting#reader x kenji
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002 . chemistry
ღ wc. 1.2k~ words, 7k~ characters
Setting down the polaroids reluctantly, you finally got back to finding your scarf and heading to the filming location. It was only a few blocks away, fortunately, so walking there wouldn't take up too much of your time.
Of course, since Jungwon had to film an EN-LOG for most of the recording session, being late would come with at least 50 angry engenes staking out HYBE's dorms for the next two weeks. It was safe to say that you weren't planning to take any risks with this.
You arrived just in time, thankfully not with too much sweat. Unsurprisingly, it was a high end academy, to match the album's concept, the loves of youth. Jungwon was already there, with stylists crowding around him. Each held up different outfit ideas at him, trying to decide on the final outfits.
You laughed to yourself about his unfortunate situation, allowing yourself a second to enjoy it before being the better person and helping out. You walked over to him and tapped his shoulder, making him glance over at you.
"Yah, Jungcat. Are you still not finished with fittings?" You asked him as his eyes lit up from your presence. Meanwhile, your stylists were already all over the place, gathering outfit pieces and makeup.
"I've been busy, so they could only take measurements. I think I've earned their hate for a good amount of time from making them decide my mv outfits in only a few minutes." He grimaced, thinking about the struggle with makeup that would come soon.
“Yn if you drank a shit ton of water again right before this I’m going to murder you~” Your head stylist and probable 2nd best friend, Haeyoung, interrupted your conversation by grabbing onto your shoulders to steer you towards the dressing room, ignoring your protests. “Sorry jungwon, but you’ll see her when you start recording.”
“As long as she gets back somehow,” Jungwon replied teasingly, but the disappointed little pout on his face was obvious- his dimples even came out. All things considered, it even came as a surprise to you that the expression didn’t also come with a pair of drooping cat ears and limp tail.
“Young-a, it’s the first time I’ve seen wonnie in a week,” You whined as she buttoned a cardigan up on you at an impossible speed, unneeded pins ready to be used in her mouth.
“Ah, young love. Yn literally stop dieting or I’m complaining to the company, it’s the third time we’ve had to size down again.” Haeyoung barely paid heed to your complaints, instead dishing out her own.
“What are these double standards? You just told me to stop drinking so much water, now I have to eat more. I don’t see a difference. And that statement of yours was wrong on both accounts. We’re the same age, if you haven’t noticed, and me and wonnie are just friends.” You grumbled, spinning around at Haeyoung’s command.
“Quoting Miraculous? I would laugh, but I can’t dismiss my childhood love Adrien like that. Anyways, you do realize that I could go a lot faster if I didn’t have to continue stopping to take these pins out of my mouth to talk to you. Easy work for me, more time with loverboy for you.” Haeyoung murmured, not even hiding her love for the ship. Actually, it should be an entire cruise by now, as she’s managed to welcome over half of the stylist teams in HYBE aboard the vessel. Curse her extroverted personality.
However, you couldn’t deny her reasoning was correct, so you stayed silent for the rest of the fitting, in hopes of seeing Jungwon soon. When you finally headed into the recording studio, Jungwon was already starting his live.
“Good afternoon, engenes! I’m recording my new album with my best friend Yn today!” He gave the camera a wave and a smile, which only brightened when you slipped into the frame.
“Hey engenes! Nice to meet you all, I’m everyone’s favorite Belift soloist, Ln Yn!” You cheered, matching Jungwon’s dimpled cheeks with your own and a toothy grin. He threw his arms around your shoulders casually and slouched a bit while walking around and talking to make sure you stayed in the middle of the frame.
Even though it went by completely unnoticed by the two of you, your actions as the live went on were able to completely convince everyone who was watching that you guys were absolutely smitten with each other. It started with exchanging knowing glances before giggling uncontrollably together, or gazing fondly at the other person while they worked on their pitch.
However, your chemistry became even more noticeable half an hour into the live. You would find yourself unconsciously leaning towards him, pr catch him looking at you with the slightest blush when you ran a hand through your hair. Nothing uncommon for you two, but it was completely new for the engenes watching.
You had actually been caught with him many times already by Dispatch, but they were never able to catch you close enough to identify you. You were able to stay just out of dating rumors for years due to your incredible luck. However, it seemed that your luck had run out by this live- but not necessarily in a bad way.
“Jungwonnie oppa, I just joined. Is that your yeochin?” Jungwon’s brows furrowed as he read out loud a comment, which he instantly regretted- well, right after he finished being confused over it. “Yeochin? Ah, yn? Ahh.. umm, we’re just friends. I’ve just known her for a really long time, so I’m more comfortable around her.”
Jungwon’s awkward tone only became hurried with his manager tapping his wrist at him to indicate that they had to leave soon.
“Oh, I have to go now engenes. I had fun today, thanks for joining me!” He quickly rambled, trying to find a way to end the live without an awkward aura.
“Kkeut!” You quickly put what you had learned as Riki's protege to use, ending the live quickly and hopefully less awkward than it could have been. Off-topic, but how were you younger than Riki? You always thought your age was practically the same as Jungwon's, yet you had to use honorifics with Riki in public.
In any case, Jungwon interrupted your thoughts by turning to you with an apologetic smile as the live ended.
"Sorry ynie, I read the comment out loud without thinking. It shouldn't be an issue, it was probably just that one fan thinking that. Don't be mad?" Jungwon parted his lips widely in what he thought was an encouraging grin, but turned out to be more of a cute grimace.
"It's all good with me, sheep garden. I'm an independent girlbossing woman, remember? A comment isn't even denting it." You flipped your hair behind your shoulder dramatically, not unlike the kdrama CEOs you mirrored the move from.
"I-LAND? Really? Be up to date, halmeoni~!" Jungwon called behind his shoulder, laughing as he skipped away. You heard his manager grumbling under his breath about how Jungwon was never this cheerful with them, and that if he was half this happy looking in all his lives, then he'd be on the receiving end of all possible good PR by now.
Little did you both know, this comment would bring upon the most change and chaos in your idol careers yet. You know that saying, "Everything will be better in the morning"? Well, whatever greater sentient being was in charge of making that statement true evidently forgot to apply it to you.
PREVIOUS . M.LIST . NEXT
#enha#enha fluff#enhypen x reader#enhypen x y/n#enhypen#enhypen jungwon#jungwon x reader#yang jungwon x reader#enhypen fanfiction#enhypen fluff#enhypen fic#jungwon#jungwon imagines#jungwon angst#jungwon x you
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someday I'm gonna be somebody people want
You, ch2, Title Card
AO3 Link
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Tim slowly stiffened as he came back into himself. He was curled up in Jasons lap, with his head shoved under the older mans’ chin and his face buried in his neck. His hands were gripping the back of Jasons’ jacket like he belonged there and there were half dried tears all over the both of them. Jason had his arm wrapped around him and his other hand was running though his hair. Casually, he pressed a kiss onto the top of Tims’ hair, still speaking softly throughout it all.
-or-
Nobody ever deals well with loneliness, but certain people are probably worse at it and certain people probably deal with it more often. Tim is of course both of these people.
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Hello, this is complete and I might just post it all at once, we shall see lol. First DC post at all tbh, and I've read exactly one comic in my life and am not likely to read more so if you are a canon type of reader then you might not wanna be here. All character and such choices come from the first Red Robin comic and fanfiction, that is it.
The fic title is from Noah Kahan "Come Over" and the chapter title is from Dodie "All My Daughters" - I picked the songs and lyrics for the titles from a playlist I made abt Tim Drake and these were the best fits for the fic lol, lemme know if you want more Tim Drake song recs cause I've got a shit ton.
(also if you're here for my series in progress I'm sorry- I promise it'll happen just maybe not for awhile, it hasn't been my special interest in a hot minute so this is what you're getting rn lol)
CW's/TW's:
panic attacks
negative self talk/low self esteem
swearing
vomit
mentions of canon typical violence
suicidal thoughts
--- that should be all but as always let me know if I missed something
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Chapter 1- I'll grow the bones myself then, on my own again
Tim has pretty much always known, in the way that clever children tend to know things, that there is possibly something wrong with how his parents raised him. Objectively an eleven year old shouldn’t know to lie about who is and isn’t home to avoid trouble, but being alone suited him. It was convenient and necessary and normal and understandable and utterly, utterly miserable. But growing up a lonely child suited him in the same way that grief suited Batman, terrible but necessary.
Batman has only gotten better at grief and Tim thinks, as an emancipated minor in the silence of his blank apartment with big windows and echoey walls, that perhaps he has perfected the art of the lonely child.
Regardless of how suited he is to isolation, he knows he grows maudlin the longer it lasts. It’s a poor excuse for his weak will, but as he stands in his sparkling penthouse kitchen silently making his third cup of coffee this morning he considers.
Tim braces his elbows on the solid marble countertop with his eyes closed to the harsh fluorescent lights and the echoes of his mothers’ sharp nails in his arm and he considers picking up the phone. He could call someone- anyone at all, in an effort to avoid this sinking sensation he’s fled from since he was nine years old with nothing but everything he’d ever needed and a camera to keep him sated. Someone might even answer, depending on who he called.
It is ten in the morning on an entirely unremarkable Saturday. The sun is resting comfortably in the sky, his phone is fully charged, he knows where everyone he has ever cared about is, and he could call anyone.
Tim opens his eyes and stretches out an arm across the countertop towards his phone, hesitating slightly before making contact but pushing through nonetheless. He flicks it on and ignores every single notification with the heavy awareness that not a single one of them is from anyone who actually wants to talk to him, he taps through the apps before reaching the dial screen and he places the phone face up on the countertop and breathes.
He stands straight from where he had been bent over, carrying his coffee with him through the rest of the kitchen. He doesn’t open the fridge, there’s nothing in there anyways. Tim takes even steps until he reaches the far window of the living room where he leans against it and slides down slowly.
Once he’s rested against the floor with his fresh coffee cradled in his hands he leans his head against the cool glass and considers his options.
He could call Cass, she’d probably answer him. Mostly because he never calls unless there’s a world ending disaster, but she would answer him. After the hurried reassurance that “No Cass, nothings wrong- I just wanted to talk” she would probably let him ramble on about whatever he could come up with for awhile before she pointed out in that simple, honest way of hers that they didn’t talk like this and she knows he didn’t call just to make small talk. She would stare at his face through the screen and wait for his explanation, she would stare and wait for him to lie. Once he did, because he always did- what else could he even do? She would watch his body tense, she would follow the lines of anxiety like a roadmap, until every petty insecurity was written plain as sin on his face. And then she would accept the lie like it didn’t hurt, like she didn’t know. They would talk and maybe even have an okay time, then something would happen in Hong Kong and she’d have to go or WE would explode in some new way and he would have to go. Either way the call would end and Tim would be alone again in his pristine, lifeless apartment except this time someone else would know how badly he wanted to claw off his skin in the hopes of finding whatever was deeply wrong with him.
Tim laughed like a rusty hinge and took a sip of coffee. To no fault of her own, Cass couldn’t help him- he ignored the fact that the only solid feeling he’d had in days was that nothing and no one could help him.
There was always someone a little less discerning, like Dick. The man could flay him alive, but it would be entirely unintentional and oblivious on his part. He could call Dick and he might answer. Of course it was a Saturday morning so he was probably either asleep or with Damian, and Tim didn’t want to wake him up or deal with the building tension as he waited for Dick to hang up because the demon brat needed something at that exact minute. There was the chance he was hanging out by himself at his own apartment in Bludhaven, but even Tim could only intrude on the older mans’ personal space and time so often. No, Tim knew with a bone deep certainty that he could not handle this call going to voicemail or being cut short because Tim was the easiest burden to leave behind.
He carefully placed his coffee mug on the floor next to him and pressed the palms of his hands into his eyes, watching the spots burst into being and fade out slowly.
For obvious reasons he wasn’t going to call Damian. For all that he was eleven years old and impossible to deal with, Tim didn’t want to be the type of person who needed a teenager to regulate his emotions for him. The boy knew how that felt first hand- and even if he’d walked into Robin with his eyes open to the consequences, he’d been pushed out with his eyes a little wider and his chest a little hollower for more reasons than most wanted to believe. No matter how snot nosed the demon brat was, that kid had spent too long playing at being an adult and he deserved better than that from Tim, at least. Tim doggedly ignored the fact that he himself had only been a little older than Damian is now when he’d yanked on the mantle with two hands and the determination of a desperate child, he also ignored the fact that Damian would skin him alive for thinking such thoughts even tangentially to thoughts of the boy himself.
The seventeen year old grabbed blindly for his coffee and took a long drink. He had a feeling he knew exactly where this thought exercise was going, but Tim had never been one to give up. Not when he really should, not when it would’ve been easier for everyone involved, and not when it was pointless. He had been good at the suspension of disbelief long before he’d joined the crusade, and he was loathe to break a bad habit.
If not Cass, Dick, or Damian to call- there was always Jason. Tim choked back a snort and stared at the empty wall next to the front door, yes there was always Jason. It was maybe a little unfair to think so poorly of the older boy, but it was too easy for Tim to think highly of him and he had fallen from those heights a few times more often than he’d care to admit. It wasn’t that Jason wasn’t kind or even that he was unwilling to talk to Tim these days, it was more-so that he’d never stopped trying to impress the older man and peeling back his flesh to show Jason the slimy, unlikable parts and then ask to be coddled was a level of desperate that he shuddered to think of reaching. Of course Jason had never been one to coddle Tim in general, which was a generous way of putting it. But despite it all, Jason was a good person and lately seemed if not interested in Tim then vaguely affectionate towards the concept of him- he would probably answer on principle. But how was Tim to even start that conversation? “Hi Jason, I know we literally only talk when we’re working or when Dick gets it in his head that all of us being Robin at some point means something, but I was wondering if you would talk with me about something that wasn’t either mutually traumatizing or how much you hate me. Why? So that I can pretend that someone would choose to be around me, that’s all.” Yeah probably not the best idea he’s had to date.
Tim chewed his lips and pretended that his breathing wasn’t getting heavier the shorter his list of options got. He barreled forward with his mug between his feet and his head between his knees.
Alfred had never once refused a call, with the only recompense being the subtle implications that he really ought to join them for dinner more often. Tim could call Alfred and the man would answer. He would answer and reserve judgement, even more- he would be perfectly willing to bring Tim up to speed on everything he’d missed since the two had last spoken. He would fill him in like it was nothing and with no disapproval to be heard. Alfred was really his best option but nonetheless the boy refused to move towards his phone, still face up and turned on across the room. Alfred had never turned down any overtures of companionship, at least not since Tim had been allowed into the circle as Robin, but he’d also never really reached out to him of his own volition. Tim had always told himself it was the older mans sense of propriety, but what if it was that same sense of propriety that kept him on the line? Tim was lonely, sure, but he didn’t want to take advantage of the fact that Alfred had been attached to the Wayne name for longer than even Bruce had been alive and Tim had latched onto the family like a burr or a mold. The boy wasn’t sure he could handle being placated either, he’d met plenty of people employed under his parents and if today was the day Tim noticed how similar their vacant indulgence was to Alfreds’ steadfast professionalism he would probably break in irreparable ways.
He forcibly calmed his breathing and glared at the mug between his ankles. He ignored how that feeling from earlier had strengthened and barricaded itself in his chest and was making it hard to focus on his heartbeats.
There was Stephanie, one of his oldest and long-lasting companions. He could call her but she was pretty likely to be busy and thus not answer or be rightfully angry and thus not answer. He would have no way of knowing except that he knew which one was most likely if only based on historical precedence. He had been a bad boyfriend but a better friend- that of course didn’t mean much, it wasn’t a particularly hard bar to clear after all. Even disregarding all of their history, Tim hadn’t really spoken to Steph since blowing into town with ninjas on his heels and animosity between them a mile wide. They still hadn’t really sat down and talked about everything from her death, the gang war, and his radio silence during his search for Bruce. It felt wrong to call her up like none of that had happened and she still wanted him around as anything other than a competent yet obnoxious coworker.
The thought of Steph ached like a bruise and that pain only compounded the marching drumbeat in his chest that called out in gleeful tones "Not wanted, not wanted" and so Tim snuffed it like the wick of a bomb and moved onward once more.
Babs was always available, somehow. She made a point to keep a line open for any capes in the Gotham area no matter how frosty the personal relationship had gotten. But that was for professional things, and Tim didn’t know if he could deal with reaching out to her for comfort only for her to remind him exactly how they’d left things. He’d had a case related theory- Bruce wasn’t dead. Dick had disagreed, Barbara had disagreed, everyone had disagreed. Tim had pushed and Dick had taken it both personally and poorly, that moved things from a professional dispute between allies to a personal spat between the nosy neighbor and her long time closest companion. There was no version of reality where Babs chose Tim over Dick, honestly there probably wasn’t a version of reality where anyone chose Tim over anyone they even vaguely liked- let alone loved. It would be absurd to expect her to push past how he’d hurt Dick, even though he’d been right, and it was impossible for Tim to push past how she’d left him to fend for himself out of spite despite the fact that he should’ve expected it and known better.
Tim was trying hard not to catastrophize, he knew that was what it was actually called when he came up with one thousand plans with ten backup versions each, but it was so tempting to script his conversations so that nothing could go wrong. It was nearly fool proof and most of the time it felt like it was almost worth the consequence of looking in the mirror and having his gaze drawn to how his mothers eyes and bone structure fit comfortably on his face. There was always the chance that someone would see his railroading for what it was, but Young JustUs and Steph had been the only people to do so in any meaningful way.
There was nothing stopping him from call Kon, Bart, or Cassie. Well, that was almost true- Kon would answer but he had better things to do than hold his hand through the consequences of his self-imposed isolation. The super was just barely on good terms with Clark and testing the waters of a brotherly relationship with Jon- he had actual, real problems to deal with that didn’t have anything to do with the sort of best friend that had gone insane when he died and tried to clone him back to life. Bart was in a similar boat in that he definitely shouldn’t have to help someone who was somehow less emotionally adjusted than him handle reality. The speedster was beginning to settle back into this time period, and seemed to be believing in the permanence of it in a way he hadn’t before he’d died. Tim didn’t need to shake that up just because he was coping poorly with his own decisions. Cassie was an entirely different situation that Tim was in no way equipped to handle with competency. How do you ask your ex-girlfried/bestfriend/group life partner to tell you she still cares about you when your last proper conversation was her telling you how insane you’d gone and you telling her that you didn’t need her anymore- you don’t, that’s how.
Even though Young JustUs had been prepared to be together until the heat death of the universe, Tim should’ve known better than to hang his hopes on something as flimsy as that. People simply didn’t stay with Tim, which was something he’d learned at the age of ten when his parents had skipped every holiday that year (and his birthday) without comment or apology, he just knew that ten year old would be embarrassed at how far he’d fallen just because some people had been nice to him for a little while. He should’ve known better then and he did know better now.
Bruce was alive and in the correct time so he should be an option, but even Tim wasn’t that delusional. The man was still settling into the modern day and his new family dynamics that had changed without him. True, he was Batman again and Damian was his Robin- but the demon brat still deferred to Dick more often than not and Dick was a little too smug about such preferential treatment to discourage it in any meaningful way. Not that Dick was particularly good at discouraging the boy of any behaviors even when he didn’t enjoy the results but, water and bridges and such. Bruce was chafing under his performative authority and thus going on some sort of family building kick as a consequence. He would definitely answer, but Tim wasn’t sure he could withstand any sort of relationship they built getting thrown to the side once this little tantrum ended. This call would mean too much to Tim and be nothing more than bragging rights or blackmail for Bruce, there was a reason he was the bottom of the list.
Timothy Jackson Drake-Wayne was sitting on the floor of his perfect apartment with his head between his knees and a recently emptied coffee mug next to him when he realized, with a sharp exhale like a punch to the gut, that it didn’t matter.
He shot up from his perch, kicking the mug across the room to shatter against the wall, and he laughed. He laughed so hard he couldn’t breathe. He laughed so hard he choked and shook and began to sob. Here he was, freaking out in his stupid apartment in ways he hadn’t since the first time his parents left him home alone for more than a week, and for what reason? He had known this little spectacle wouldn’t mean anything but tears in the end, what was his fascination with self-torture that he’d needed to break it down on a person by person basis like it wasn’t a foregone conclusion as of four years ago when he’d wedged his way into this doomed mission with nothing but empty hands and spite. His sobbing picked up volume and his breathing got sharper.
In some distant way Tim was aware that he was having a panic attack. A pretty bad one, if the crying and shaking had anything to say about it. But in that same distant way he didn’t really care. He was watching himself choke on his tears so hard that he had to curl over and vomit on the hardwood floors and he couldn’t bring himself to feel any type of way about it. What did it matter if he choked to death on his vomit in this perfect, sterile penthouse all by himself? Wasn’t it a little poetic, in a morbid sort of way?
If it wasn’t for the fact that Janet Drake had no physical choice, she would’ve skipped his birth just like his father had- she probably would’ve avoided his birth happening all together if they’d had their way. They’d left him alone as soon as they could get away with it, and he’d wasted away his years waiting for them to come back and acknowledge that they had a son. Wouldn’t it be ironic if he died choking on the physical manifestation of his loneliness in an apartment that reminded him too much of his childhood home to ever be comfortable?
Tim- not Drake or Wayne, just Tim-Nobodies-Son, spread out on his freezing floors and tried to breathe through the suddenly overwhelming urge to see if a second fall from a window would do the job. He tried to beat back the echoing voice that seemed to emanate from the middle of his chest, that had graduated from “not wanted” to “never wanted”, because he could see the next escalation coming from a mile away and he knew there was nobody there to stop it but him- like always. And ever so slowly his tears dried, tacky and embarrassing, and his shame returned to him like his coffee had just a moment ago.
He sighed loud and long, “What am I even doing? I’m lucky dad is dead- at least he doesn’t get to see exactly how right he was.”
As the boy kneaded the tension from his forehead he noticed a clicking sound that, in hindsight, had been echoing around his walls for quite awhile.
And then Jason Todd, in all his murderous glory, was standing in his doorway with lock picks in hand and an unreadable expression on his face.
#fanfic#tim drake#dc universe#batman#red robin#Jason Todd#mentioned batfamily#hurt/comfort#grace is writing
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Voiceplay Visuals: Little Mermaid Medley
I already knew right from the start that this was going to be a long post, but how am I only just now realizing that the video itself is like nearly 8 minutes long? Like I knew the Wicked Medley was one of Voiceplay's longer-length videos, but somehow I never realised that this video is in fact longer by 10 seconds! (I guess it's just so good that I never noticed!) God I hope I don't hit the picture limit on this one, because I have a lot to talk about, so let's begin!
Bit of a far cry from the Moana Medley 3 years prior, hey? (This was released in September 2020 btw). I may be wrong, but I believe this is called "we have a bigger budget now" 😂
Right, so Eli (already doing a subtle Eyebrow Raise, might I add), is dressed as Flounder, Rachel is of course Ariel, J is repping Sebastian, Layne is Chef Louis (I think that's his name), and Geoff went freaking all-out as Ursula (aka "Geoffsula"). The hair! The necklace! The airbrushing on the skin! (Seriously that ain't just a standard layer of face/body paint, there is shading going on there!)
(Also what's up with the green wristbands which I've never really acknowledged till now?)
J and Rachel echoing the "heave ho!" bit to each other (gonna try and limit my screencap-taking just a little bit, because I'll probably end up including a ton anyway)
Rachel slipped on that bracelet really smoothly, is it just me? Like girl how did you do that so easily?
Love the little detail of Rachel throwing up the fork (aka "dinglehopper") and it not coming down again. No clue how they did it
(Also that is a very pretty bracelet. And cute necklace!)
I wasn't exactly searching for this screencap, but I felt like I had to include it when I paused on it!
Layne "blowing bubbles" out his mouth!
I love J's little dance moves here 😄
Geoff on air bass again! (representing the line "the plaice play the bass")
Whose idea was this? 😂 (Layne was in charge of both the arrangement and the video, I'm guessing it was him?) And then Voiceplay stuck it on a shirt and made it into merch! (And also for J's farewell party, they got him a cake that had a picture of snail!J on it!)
We're about to get into my favourite part! (Also cool painting!)
Eli and J hamming it up as Flotsam and Jetsam 😝
J's face makes me laugh every time 😆
Purple flames in his eyes! (Voiceplay used a very similar effect last year, on Geoff again, during the Hellfire video)
Hang on what was that little move that J just did there?
"This one longing to be thinner, this one wants to get the girl, and do I help them?"
"Yes indeed"
(Also fun fact: the woman shown here is Rachel Evans, one third of the singing group The American Sirens, who collaborated with Geoff a year later on his cover of Mele Kalikimaka, and the man is her husband!)
"They come flocking to my cauldron crying SPELLS!" "Ursula please!"
(Also shoutout to Eli for the lighting design! He always does such a fantastic job!)
The colouration/tint of the lighting does really interesting things to Geoff's blueish skin colour in this video. In some shots the skin is a really vibrant colour (e.g. see a couple of the shots above), whereas in others, like this one ^ here, it almost looks close to regular skin tone.
This little moment greatly pleases my drama/theatre kid heart 😁
Not talking about vocals not talking about vocals not talking about vocals not talking about-
Okay but the signature bit was very cool, and definitely feels like something Voiceplay would not have been able to do back in 2017
Pfft 😂
Also the lighting here is making Geoff's hair (which got coloured grey for this video) look almost blonde!
Cool smoke effects!
(Also the only reason I haven't done fanart of "Geoffsula" (other than the fact that I don't wanna keep drawing him in black outfits) is that I would not be able to do the skin colouration justice here. Shoutout to Rick Underwood for the makeup!)
"Sing" (sir you're not allowed to look that pretty while looking like that!)
Yeah nah yeah they really went off with the effects on this one
I am getting dangerously close to the image limit and I don't wanna have to split this into two posts, but Layne's whole Les Poissons bit is comedy gold and screencaps don't do it justice anyway
To quote Elizabeth Zharoff: "it takes a confident man to Seagull!" 😂
Love Rachel's awkward-yet-cute little wave at the start of Kiss The Girl (and her dancing a bit further into the song!
Confusion(tm) 🤣
Firstly, Rachel's acting is 100% on-point, and second of all, I love Geoff's evil smirk here, doubly confirming that Rachel is being Vanessa, aka Ursula in disguise!
And now that "Ariel" has got her voice back, everyone else is super happy/animated, while "Ursula" is very subdued. Visual storytelling!
Just managed to avoid the image limit, thank goodness! Also J pops a bubble right at the end 😁
It's hard for me to say whether this is one of Voiceplay's best medleys or not, because how can you compare it to the Boy Band Medley or Trapped or A Chance To Fly? But I will say it is very deserving of the 5.5 million views it currently sits at on YouTube. A lot of effort went into both the arrangement and the video (well done Layne!), and honestly when it comes to Disney stuff, Voiceplay never fails!
#voiceplay#acapella#little mermaid medley#the little mermaid medley#geoff castellucci#eli jacobson#layne stein#j none#rachel potter#acaplaya analysis#voiceplay visuals
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woke up and started thinking about the yellowjackets and birth order, so. here’s the Thoughts TM. i did literally every person who’s slightly relevant to the plot other than adam, shauna’s dead boyfriend, so i hope y’all enjoy
our crop of DEFINITELY onlys are- jackie (her parents were and are so obsessed with her. like, they could hypothetically do that if she weren’t their only but they don’t seem like two or more children kinda folks) shauna (her social insecurities just feel like a kid who grew up very lonely before she met jackie, and even though siblings don’t always get along... they would have made her a bit more socially adjusted) natalie (independent in a way that she wouldn’t be if she either had little siblings to protect or older siblings to protect HER), lottie (oh god her parents. they were like We’ll Have One Perfect Princess! and then... well, they weren’t about to try and “screw up” again...) tai (her leadership style screams only child. not in a bad way! just in a way) and then van (it seems like she was an out of wedlock oopsie that wasn’t going to be repeated) and misty (i think that her parents were distant and that she wasn’t really wanted. they were a lot better about making sure it didn’t happen again after misty was born)
i would also add jeff, lisa, and walter to this list. jeff is mainly because i feel like if that guy had any siblings he’d be very clingy with them and have them over like ALL the time. walter just has the vibes. lisa’s mom is obsessive in a way that strikes me as mother-of-an-only.
oldests- travis. we see his little brother and nothing gives us the indication that there’s a secret older sibling off at college. with the exact pressure it looks like his dad puts on him he’s GOTTA be the oldest.
laura lee- i feel like she has one younger brother who’s somewhere 3-5 years younger. they don’t interact a ton but they get along fine
coach martinez- i just have a feeling. i’d say he has a single mom and younger sisters, so he never had much masculinity that wasn’t His Own modeled for him, so when he sees travis he’s like NO YOU’RE DOING IT WRONG
middles- mari! i’d say that she’s either the middle out of three sisters or the third oldest out of four. she gives me vibes of growing up in a bit of a dog-eat-dog world with LOTS of girls around fighting, but her being close to the bottom of the pile
coach ben- he just feels like a middle? like, of course his behaviors could be the result of a LOT of things, but i think that both being able and willing to try to take charge but also to just. completely give up and let shit happen around him? feels very much like he grew up with someone who dragged him along and took care of him but ALSO someone who he could drag around and take care of. i’d say he has a brother who’s 3 or 4 years older and one that’s slightly younger, and they’re both Normal Nineties Level of Homophobic, which makes things harder on him with the idea of coming out because he does love them.
melissa- i’d say she has an older sister she doesn’t get along with super well (very stereotypical girly girl) and two younger siblings (a brother and a sister) who she DOES get along with and they do sports together. i dunno, it’s just vibes.
youngests- akilah! we know that she has an older sister with a baby that she’s close to, but she never mentions other siblings so i think that they’re the only two in the family. i also think, though, that akilah had a lot of interaction with a lot of kids growing up too. she probably has a slew of cousins that are both older and younger than her and hung out with some neighbor kids. she’s a very well rounded youngest
crystal- i don’t think that crystal is probably close to her older siblings, but i’d say that she was an oopsie on the far end of her mom’s child-rearing years. her older siblings (i’d say a pair of sisters who are like eight and six years older) think of her as an annoyance and her parents didn’t pay a lot of attention to her once they got her to proper school age, so she got all the downsides of having siblings but few of the advantages.
gen- she’s got one brother who’s basically a year older and they’re very close. that kinda relationship you get when the kids are almost twins but not quite
javi- if javi weren’t the baby, then we would have seen a younger sibling in the brief scene with mrs. martinez. also.. he does not seem like he’s got anyone younger around
allie- i am so sorry to stereotype youngests but... allie is the youngest. i’d say that she’s probably the only treasured girl with four or five older brothers too. a ginny weasley kinda situation.
OH WAIT I FORGOT TO DO DOUCHEBAG COPS
kevyn- i feel like this guy’s the baby. he’s got older sisters so he like, knows how to talk to girls? but he’s also constantly teased by them so.
the cop that groomed callie- an oldest. this guy has younger sisters and he seduced all of their friends.
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get to know a blogger // tagged by @alethiometry and @ainulindaelynn ❤️✨
Share your wallpaper:
this vp shot of mine from valhalla <3
Last song you listened to:
habakuk by apparat
Currently reading:
dipping into capitalist realism by mark fisher and i'm thinking about starting the ac valhalla sword of the white horse novel, or maybe gideon the ninth? choosing books is a pain in the ass because most of my books are still packed away in boxes and i can't remember what i have if i can't see them ashdgfhdfgshdf
Last movie:
i've been so bad about watching movies recently. i think it might have been john wick 3?
Last show:
newest episode of yellowjackets and immediately after that the first episode of black sails
Craving:
i really want another coffee. like a third coffee.
What are you wearing right now:
i just got back from meeting my aunt for coffee so i'm wearing actual clothes for once. oversized jeans and a flannel over a t-shirt.
How tall are you:
5'4"
Piercings:
nothing currently. i used to have my ears pierced but they closed up. i do really want to get them redone though, and some more on my ears, and maybe a septum.
Tattoos:
fancy dagger on my right forearm
michelangelo's david on my right thigh
two of the same floral design on the backs of my arms
tiny moka pot on my left forearm
"hush" on my right wrist
i have a ton of others i want to get but unfortunately tattoos cost money :(
Glasses? Contacts?
i have reading glasses that i never use because they give me headaches, probably because the prescription was wrong to begin with. i have astigmatism and it's mild enough that i can get by just fine but i should probably have glasses.
Last thing you ate:
leftover pizza from dinner last night
Favorite color:
blue but specifically cyan 💙
Current obsession:
assassin's creed (mostly valhalla as per usual, but origins is hitting me a lot harder the second time around than i expected, and i'm currently working up the courage to start the crocodile arc 😭), star wars (although it's waning... mando s3 is bad enough that i think i'm finally snapping out of it), yellowjackets, succession, black sails (in theory).
also in theory, writing!! but i haven't been able to write much this past month and i can feel the obsession fading a little bit :/ but i'm also thinking about my wips literally constantly.
Any pets:
my little cat guy oscar!! and also bolt but he's my parents' dog.
Favourite fictional character:
how the fuck. um. if i have to pick only one right now then it's eivor i guess!! i think about her literally constantly <3
The last place you travelled:
italy back in september!! i miss it :(
i am tagging (no pressure!): @variantoutcast @melodoka @milfmisspiggy @thecodyagenda @artschoolglasses @medlilove @freyastrider
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did you see the leaked images of the new enemy type related to Venom? Also, if true, then the stuff with Anti-Venom in those leaks would be interesting to carry over into the third game. I do wonder, if Goblin is supposed to be the big bad in the third game, how Insomniac is going to sell him as the new ultimate threat without making him a fire hulk monster.
This Ask has actually been in my inbox since before Insomniac Spider-Man 2 came out and we only had leaks to go by, just for context! But yes, I had seen the leaks about the symbiote enemy type before the release.
Anyway, yeah, I'm not really sure how I feel about the Anti-Venom thing carrying over into the third game! On the one hand, it makes sense that if Miles got a permanent power upgrade with his Venom Blast, then Peter should level up as well, but at the same time, the symbiote powers are probably too powerful against non-symbiote enemies and don't make a ton of sense from a storytelling perspective if the third game is not about symbiotes, possible Carnage appearance notwithstanding if he's not relegated to a DLC; I think the sequel game does frame the powers as permanent bc they're a purified/reverse version of the part of the symbiote that is a bonded part of him from having the suit on for too long, but since this is a story and not real life, the writers can always come up with a way to remove them if necessary for the next story and its gameplay - for example, Connors never did get around to running tests on Peter like he kept trying to get him to come in to do, and it would be reasonsable to study the Anti-Venom suit now that things are less urgent, but I'm not counting on that happening.
Regarding Norman as the Green Goblin, we'll see what Insomniac does, but I think it would make sense to scale down from the worldwide threat Venom posed in the second game to a much more personal threat where Peter and Miles have to worry constantly about their loved ones if Norman knows their identities and entire lives, and wants revenge for what they allegedly did to Harry - focus on the mind games and manipulation, plus what evil he can wrought as a rich corporate asshole! Since the Chameleon was teased in the second game, it would also be perfect to bring him in for a storyline like that, perhaps taking cues from how the TSSM cartoon masterfully incorporated the Chameleon into the Green Goblin mystery plot.
So yeah, I don't think he has to be a fire hulk monster like the Ultimate/1610 version to be a real threat to the Spider-Men bc physical size and power is not the only way to be a formidable villain and Insomniac seems to follow certain villain themes for each game (ie. tech villains in the first game, science gone wrong villains in the second), and the Green Goblin being a physically enhanced tech-based villain with unique aerial combat fights would be a cool enough final boss battle; it's also possible the game could combine the two major types of Green Goblin interpretations these days by having him be a hulk monster who uses tech like in the Ultimate cartoon, which the second game definitely drew a lot of influences from or had a lot of convergent similarities, but we'll see, and I trust Insomniac to come up with something interesting either way.
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My Review of Foul Heart Huntsman by Chloe Gong
See a full list of my book reviews here
*Disclaimer: there will be spoilers later on in the review*
Review Word Count, non-spoiler: 697 Review Word Count Total: 1,480
After a year of waiting, we finally got the sequel to Foul Lady Fortune, and of course I need to scream about it in a long form way even though I’ve been screaming about it all week through various posts. I preordered the book on Apple Books (not sponsored), so I got it at exactly 12:00 a.m. EDT and I read it in a little over day because I have no self-control. Did it cause me to get behind in work? Yes, but that’s neither here nor there.
Moving on! Foul Heart Huntsman picks back up after the plot twisty events of Foul Lady Fortune with Rosalind dealing with not only her identity as the nationalist spy Fortune being exposed and Orion’s absence after he was captured by his mother and his memories wiped. She grapples with how to get him back after her identity is exposed, a task that is near impossible, but under the guise of a national tour meant to inspire unity in the countryside, she manages to make it out of Shanghai to try and find Orion. But when the tour goes wrong, she must rely on old adversaries to save Orion and all of China from his mother’s chemical invention and potential foreign invasion.
I will admit I am a little (or maybe a lot) biased since the entire Secret Shanghai series has become one of my favorites in this last year, especially the Foul Lady Fortune duology, so my thoughts on this book are mostly positive. I love Chloe Gong’s writing style so much so that I, someone that doesn’t highlight or annotate books, started highlighting my favorite quotes. There were tons of truly poetic lines in the book as well as its fair share of humor and just strong emotions in general. I was honestly amazed as to how one person could capture so many distinct genres in one book so beautifully and also tell such a compelling story at the same time.
One of my favorite parts of this book was that despite Rosalind being the main character we get to see story arcs for pretty much every other relevant character, they all change in different ways during the events of the book which was super entertaining to read. Without spoiling anything I will say Pheobe’s arcs was one of my favorites as she grows up quite a bit throughout the course of the book and it probably near the top of the list when it comes to trauma and internal issues resolved.
My main complaint with this book is just how quickly we jump from one plot point to another. I understand it was something that had to happen as there was a lot to cover but not enough material for a third book, which I’m grateful that isn’t the direction that Chloe took us, but it still was a bit intense. There were multiple times I had to just put down the book since I got overwhelmed with the sheer number of things happening at once, but I would rather have this than a drawn-out book just to create a third one. Because of this there were multiple points in the book where things were too coincidental, and I get that this has to happen to a certain extent in fiction, but it did feel like it was happening a lot just to advance the plot quicker.
Despite that I had a great time reading the book and it was a beautiful conclusion to one of my favorite series of all time. I will let you all know that we had the happy ending we were promised, and it was honestly much better than I could’ve ever imagined, which I will scream about in the spoiler section. I really couldn’t have asked for a better conclusion to this series, I was screaming and crying for various reasons throughout my entire read through and was very emotional about the whole thing for at least two days afterwards. I’d give this book an “I cried about it for days but in a good way” out of ten and really recommend you all go read it if you haven’t already.
Spoilers Below!!
As per usual I have a lot of thoughts, but because I have been very emotional about this book over the course of the past week (please scroll through my Foul Heart Huntsman tag if you want to see more nonsense) so I’m going to try and talk about new and cool things.
First I just want to expand a little on the whole “things were too coincidental” point I made earlier. The one thing I have more of a gripe about, the rest I’ll excuse since they can be played off, but when Orion was dying, and Rosalind just so happened to take him to Lourens’ lab, and he just was there. I mean I guess you can say he wanted to see his lab one last time or whatever which is why he left Roma and Juliette’s house, but it just felt a little too plot convenient for me. I mean, I’m glad everything worked out for them, but the everything surrounding it just rubbed me the wrong way. Just a minor complaint but I’ll get over it.
I already had my cry about Roma and Juliette being reunited with Alisa and Rosalind, which was a great moment for me, but seeing the whole gang back together (including Celia, Marshall, and Benedikt) plus Orion was one of my favorite parts of the whole series, it made me feel all warm and fuzzy inside. Another thing that made me feel all warm and fuzzy was just all the couples. We finally saw Oliver and Celia get together, Rosalind and Orion reunion, Pheobe and Silas! I think I was most emotional about Pheobe and Silas’ kiss scene; it tore me apart just as much as Celia and Oliver’s first kiss but for some reason Pheobe and Silas hit.
Another thing that really tore me up was how much Rosalind and Orion love each other. Despite the fact that Orion lost his memories he still loved Rosalind and while she had a bit of a struggle since he wasn’t her Orion, she still loved him a lot. They have one of my favorite couple dynamics, I love how Orion is just a giant sap and Rosalind isn’t having any of it but is secretly loving it. Also, just how they gave up their abilities and became normal people for each other was so touching. Rosalind had accepted her fate that she was going to live like that for the rest of her life, and then eventually die from it after Lourens told her that the serum he used was unstable, but the way Orion was literally dying and chose to save her. Like Rosalind said, she had wanted someone to choose her, and Orion did, he was willing to die for her and I’m getting emotional typing this. Maybe I cried when he proposed in the epilogue, who knows.
I also need to talk about the exclusive Barnes and Noble epilogue (there are links to read it in the notes of this post I made if you haven’t read it already). I need to scream about Roma and Juliette having a whole entire child, I cried a little when Rosalind showed Orion the little card in the first epilogue and cried even more when we were introduced to Katherina. Another thing that made me cry was just how Pheobe and Silas were together and in love and happy and when she asked him for a kiss, tears. Of course, Oliver and Celia being married made me so beyond happy, I love that for them so much. The whole wedding also made me cry because Rosalind and Orion are in love and of course there was an incident at their wedding because that’s the kind of people they are and the daffodils and the amount of love they have for each other. The whole thing was so sweet I honestly couldn’t have asked for a better ending for the series and if I think about it too hard, I’ll cry again.
I’m going to keep this ending in my brain and not think about how like four years later China gets invaded by Japan and all of World War II, Chloe mentioned this in her authors note and now I won’t stop thinking about it. Everyone survives the war and they’re all happy, that’s cannon, I said it, I make the rules. Anyways I was, and will continue to be, super emotional about this book until the end of time. I encourage you all to please come into my inbox to scream about literally anything in this book, I love talking about it and will continue to talk about it forever so please join me!
#foul heart huntsman#foul lady fortune#secret shanghai#these violent delights#our violent ends#chloe gong
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How many of your theories were confirmed true? Was it satisfying? Is there anything you predicted wrong and wish could change? Do you accept the story more or less for now? Is there anything that made you almost quit?
Thanks for asking!
Not a whole lot lol. Most specifically, I predicted that there were 4 previous Godhand members and Void was the last of that group/the first of this group. I predicted the Elfhelm quest going south and ending in misery, but I certainly did not predict how lol, and I wish it was more dark and more emphatically tragic, but tbf there's still some room to get worse that Guts is having his breakdown.
This is a bit of a stretch, but I consider Guts restlessly swinging his sword and asking himself what the hell he's supposed to do now in chapter 358 to be pretty close to confirmation of my theory that Guts bringing Casca to Elfhelm was basically a distraction for him, and a vague hope that fixing Casca would solve his problems that did not come to fruition.
I guess I kinda predicted Elfhelm having a shady history that becomes relevant, in that a bunch of ancient tortured soul-goo ate a bunch of people, or whatever lmao. I was hoping it would be relevant in a more interesting way, but I'd say it kinda counts.
I predicted Griffith crying at some point, but I didn't think it would be this soon, and it's still something he's blaming on the werebaby so it only half-counts.
Oh and I definitely called Guts seeing Griffith naked again, and Miura drawing more naked Griffith in general lol.
Among plenty of other things, I incorrectly predicted that the behelit would open and result in tragedy right after Casca gets her memories back, and that she'd sacrifice moonbaby, and I would love to change that lol, I think it would've been a ton of fun and a great set up for a third act. Still got my fingers crossed for the climax tho since that behelit's still hanging around.
The incorrect prediction that's definitely not gonna happen at any point now is Elfhelm turning out to be antagonistic in some way. And again, I definitely would've preferred that - I found the sudden evil goo, Elfhelm fading away, and Danann just being kind of sad and ineffectual, pretty underwhelming lol.
And enh, idk what accepting the story entails exactly. I reserve the right to be disappointed about how it goes lol, and to think it could've been better, or more personally enjoyable, if xyz happened, but I think that whatever is going to happen is probably roughly what Miura intended, and even if it's not what I want I can live with it. I'm not gonna be starting a #releasetherealending twitter campaign or anything lmao.
And nothing's made me nearly quit so far. I am a tried and true quitter of disappointing media though, so I could see myself dropping it in the future potentially - like what would happen is tumblr would die, or people would stop interacting with me on this blog so I'd stop updating it, and I'd stop keeping up with new chapters, and eventually I'd hear on the grapevine that it ended disappointingly with virtually no griffguts-y content, and I'd be like 'welp that's a shame, guess I'll never finish it.'
But yk, as long as I'm active on this blog, and as long as I have hope for more griffguts content lol, I'm gonna keep reading and discussing new chapters.
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Short stories
Featuring @authoruio Vigil and @fullplaidponydreamer Daniel
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A Heavens Call:
Sitting down reading as usual a sigh left her lips reading over her current book... it wasn't a topic she was fond of... sisterhood made her remind the distance of her sister from her... closing the book she hugged her knees a little looking around... as if hoping something or someone would come, yet the someone that did come was someone she didn't want to see.
"Barry, you can already walk on... before you try to say anything."
"Harsh, I just make you harmless offers to get to know you and-"
"Yeah right... who was the one who offered me money to go on a date with you, just cause I look similar to Brenda doesn't mean I can be bought like her."
"I know I know... I just really want to show you what a shining Hero I am."
"A Shining Hero you say... which Shining hero abandons his daugher, cheats on his girlfriend, undermines tons of genuine people oh and tries to buy friendships, I wonder."
He clenched his fist a little and sighed.
"Listen up... I know these rumors... so what I made mistakes, everyone does, I just want you to list-"
As he tried to put a hand on her shoulder he suddenly got stopped by another arm that grabbed him... both of them looked at the third figure, Carols face showing a small smile...
"Vigil."
"Who the hell are yo-"
"Don't you see you make her uncomfortable, if she does not wish to talk to you, you should leave it be."
Barry grew grumpy and glared at him before leaving... Carol taking a breather of relief.
"Thanks for taking over, if not I would have probably punched him."
"Its odd how someone peacefull as you attracts so much trouble."
Carol offered him a seat and sighed.
"Part of being the usual peacekeeper... but also I feel I can tell those guys 10 times I am not interested in them yet they keep bothering me."
She leaned against his shoulder, something that surprised him yet he accepted it as he noticed her gaze on him.
"Something wrong?"
"You seem tired... oh maybe a tea would help."
She got out a can of Tea out of her bag with a smile.
"Its fine, seriously... but thanks for the offer."
Hearing his denial she looked a little dissapointed but understood right away, yet she felt still a bit tensed up... especially because of Barry before... she wanted to understand Vigil... she wanted to do something for all the work he did for her keeping him safe...
"Carol, why is is that you care so much?"
"Huh? You mean why I care about others?"
He gave a firm nod. "These are not your problems yet you do all to help, to change peoples views for the better, to solve fights... why go through all these things that only frustrate youself?"
"Its because I wanna improve something... I want to make the world one where many can feel better. Even if I don't have the strength or super powers to change things.... I want my words to be a smile, a hope or something comforting for people so the life at least a little better... that is what I hope of acheiving."
"I see... its no wonder I always looked after you the most."
He stood up as if ready to leave.
"Wait Vigil... you already have to go?"
"Yes... still have something to do."
She seemed still tense, she wanted him to stay more, yet she knew what he did was also important. Still it wasn't satisfying to Just see him leave... and so her impulse kicked in.. quickly she walked up to him and grabbed him by the collar for a small kiss, withdrawing with Serious look.
"I hope next time I have a bit longer with you... its always hard to say goodbye... so I think this way I at least feel somewhat happy till you are back."
"If its important to you then." He pulled his arms around her for a warm hug, one that made her face quickly light up in a smile before letting go.
"See you soon then."
As he left she felt somewhat better... like those negative feelings all swayed away for a short while, she made herself a tea and continued to read the book, not being caught up on the past.
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A Training of heart:
As they usually met up for training, she was focused on Multitasking of correcting her tutor work while planning through that training she set up together with Daniel like they often did... however letting her pen run over the paper and concentrating on it was hard for her when her boyfriend was right there before her, being for her the biggest distraction with his shirt off and those drops running over his body... she tried hard to keep her focus yet after a while even he noticed those prying eyes that she hid behind her glasses and got closer.
"Say why don't you take a break as well sweetheart?"
"But I barely did anything..."
It was this teasing tone of his that went under her skin, she got up as if wanting to get something from her book pile, yet quickly he had her trapped between the table and himself, her face turning bright red.
"A-alright you convinced me... "
She adjusted her glasses on her nose and looked back at him. His hands wandered to her hips, making her grow more nervous, yet also she couldn't let her eyes off him... Eventually he pulled her from the side of the Table to the corner of the room, pinning her a little to the wall. To make the tension even worse for her.
"Are you t-trying to make me weak on purpose... is this your way of escaping training today?"
"Maybe?... or maybe I just like to see how nervous you get cause of me..."
He stroked her red face before drawing closer, cradling her neck and leaning his lips on hers for a tongue kiss, her face growing warmer by the second as she pulled her arms around his neck too fully giving into it...
"Its hard to focus around you really... but its also good to see how far you come... "
"Most is thanks to you... I don't wanna think about back then but, its thanks to you I feel better now..."
A warm smile escaped her hearing this, her hands placed on both of his shoulders staying close.
"But seriously now... I need to get my work done and you need to get your plan throught to get your rewards."
"Don't you call this motivation, sweetheart?"
"H-hey, don't throw my words back at me."
He smirked slightly as he withdrew...
"Well then, hope you have a good reward in store, given how you look right now... I think I motivated you for something good too."
And with this comment her mind went back into the gutter... utterly defeated as he continued his training. She drank a lot of tea to get calm again in mind and concentrate... yet she was happy he was so motivated about it... a smile sticking on her face while she continued her work.
#twisted wonderland oc#twst oc#twisted wonderland#twisted wonderland ocs#twst#disney twst#twst ocs#twistedwonderland#twistedwonderlandoc#carol ann#carol x vigil#carol x daniel
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MCM Shelf Saga
Part 1 - Introduction, Commencing Stripping Hell
Spring has come, which can only mean one thing. It's time for another furniture refinishing project.
So you might remember this chair I've refinished before, and you might remember how I mentioned in the backstory of that post that my late mother had painted three pieces of furniture (a chair, a desk and a shelf) in matching colors, the three having been left to collect dust in one of our attic closets for the past few decades.
Indeed, this is one of the three furniture pieces, and just like with the chair, I ain't keeping it if it looks like that. It's either getting refinished or yeeted, and since I don't want to waste perfectly good furniture, it's the former. And since the weather now allows it, it's time for me to get started on working on this beast of a project.
Now there's actually two things I had to do before I could begin this project. Step one was disassemble the entire unit because, TL:DR; we could not move it out of the tiny ass closet without either moving a fuck ton of furniture and storaged items out of the way and maybe break something while hauling this outside, OR just disassemble it 'cause it needed to get dissambled anyways.
So, with dad's help we did just that (with relative success, we did have to break some of the original screws because they had dug into the wood and made disassembly impossible otherwise, but it's fine that hardware can be replaced) and brought it to the patio where I can work on it.
The other thing I had to do was actually quickly check if the shelf was safe for me to work on. If you want more info you can read the chair post but long story short, I was worried there could be toxic car paint under this paint layer and if there was, I was going to refuse to refinish this piece. But all I did was gently sand some paint off a shelf to see what was underneath and it was wood so! Safe it is!
So this is probably somekinda MCM shelf, the style looks like it and the color of the wood could suggest it. The main unit of it is made of just veneered chipboard but hey, it's vintage chipboard, and there's nothing wrong with it, so it's still worth giving a second (a third?) life to
Didn't take a photo of it with the drawers and the sliding door still inside but I doubt that matters. Parts of the inside of the unit did get painted over which is. Not great for me, but it is what it is
Intrestingly, the sides of the shelf (that make both the feet of the unit as well as where the shelves hook onto) seem to have been black originally, as the inside facing parts never got painted over. Meanwhile the main unit has some veneer damage right where the sides were... Like it's not great but since that part does get completely covered it's not a huge deal
And the shelves of the shelf. As you can see, I did a quick test on them to see what was under the paint and it looked safe to work on
So I actually kinda started by testing my paint removal methods on one of the shelves. When I did the above check up, I noticed the paint was quite hard to just sand through, so just sanding it didn't seem like a great option. I did also soon discover the paint was quite hard to scrape.
Now, I did't want to use paint stripper since it causes me that severe nausea, so I decided to try out a hot air gun to remove it. And it did work! However
First off I just wasn't excited about using electricity 'cause. Energy crisis. Y'know. Shit's expensive.
While it worked it wasn't super effective? It might've been just poor technique on my part but I felt like I had to stand there blowing hot air onto the paint for a long time for it to start reacting before quickly sweeping in to scrape a tiny section clean before starting again on another tiny tiny section
And the main thing... Under the paint there seemed to be an old finish of some kind. Probably a poly coat, IDK. But I was getting worried of how it was reacting to the heat. Like. IDK I was worried it might melt and damage the wood or something
So. I had to go crawling back to the paint stripper. Because in the end, it felt like the safest option for me to use (nausea aside). From the chair project I knew it would be able to remove the paint easily and knowing this whole thing has a lot of thin veneer all over it, it'd probably be the best way for me to ensure I didn't damage the veneer too much.
Goop time it is
I did one coat of paint stripper and let it sit over night (plastic wrapped so it wouldn't dry out)
Here's what the sides were looking like after one round of paint stripper. It really wasn't going to be enough so what I ended up doing was that I applied another coat of paint to the top and let it do it's thing for like an hour (while I was walking my cat), before coming back. I then did another round of stripper on both sides while I finished removing the paint residue from the top
So here's what two rounds of paint stripper did to the top, as well as one round to the inside bits. It seems like the paint may have permanently strained parts of the inside where the wood was raw as it did not want to come off at all, though fortunately the worst parts are the parts that'll end up getting covered by the drawers so it could be worse
Now the paint stripper did not make the old finish come off the main unit really. It did soften it, but that didn't make it easier to remove, it made it just kinda goopy and unpleasant to remove but, since I had no other choise, I kept on going at it and scraped it away along with the remaining paint residue
After I finished working on the top I went back to remove the rest of the paint from the sides and the old finish. Eventually getting to this point
The veneer is not in great shape, there seems to be some possible water damage marks on the wood (possibly from the stripper??) OR there might be just more of the old finish there that I haven't managed to remove yet
The veneer is super thin. I could keep on scraping and sanding it, but I'm just really afraid I might go through the veneer and do some really bad damage, so... I kinda wan tto try using oxalic acid first. If there's water stains, the acid should be able to remove the stains, meaning there's less sanding for me to do in general and less of a chance of me sanding through that veneer.
But I don't have oxalic acid at the moment, and I kinda wanna finish stripping the paint off from the entire unit first, so this first part is coming to an unsatisfying end.
The main unit has been put to the side while I finish stripping the rest of the unit, starting with the drawer fronts!
((Sidenote: I am planning on staining the wood dark/black so the stains aren't super worrysome for me, the dark stain would end up hiding most of them I'm sure))
Part 2 / Part 3 / Part 4 (Finale)
#Refinish Diary#Mine#furniture refinishing#furniture restoration#mcm furniture#This was not gonna be a multiparter but I remember Tumblr has max 30 images per post#And I was already at like 20 so. Guess it's gonna be a multiparter#For the record I started working on this in mid April and haven't worked on it since#I realized I needed to get yard work done and so like. When the weather's been nice I've done yard work#So much yard work#And when it's been ass I haven't bothered to lift a finger#I'll get back to it soon I swear there's just a little more yard work for me to do!!#And I just wanna do this when the weather is nice!! Leave me alone!!#I can't have the shelf pieces blocking the patio entrance anyways so I need to finish it sooner than later#It'd be nice to use the patio as a patio and not as a DIY space lmao
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renegade 👀
Now this one is my secret favorite of the bunch. I came up with this awhile ago after I realized Sam's look in Endgame gives me major 70s detective vibes.
It's a Sambucky modern AU detective story. Sam is a New York City detective, who gets pulled back into a cold case of his, after a recent grisly murder. He turns to Bucky for help, who now is a professor of criminal psychology at NYU, but was formerly an undercover cop who has his own ties to the case.
Unfortunately I don't know jack about police work or major crimes units or forensics and bc of that it's going to take a ton of research, which is why I've been dragging my feet on it, but from what little I've written so far it's been really fun!
Title is from “Renegade” by Big Red Machine and Taylor Swift.
Thanks for the ask! Maybe this will get me motivated to work more on it now!
Sam Wilson knows it’s gonna be a shitty day as soon as his alarm goes off. There’s no particular reason, it’s just one of those feelings that you get when you open your eyes and think ‘Yup, today the Universe is gonna test me.’ His mama always used to say he’d gotten up on the wrong side of the bed when he’d come downstairs, all storm clouds and grumbling about having to go to school, snapping at his little sister. But now that he’s grown, Sam knows it’s not a matter of getting up on the wrong side of the bed but somehow gettin’ on the wrong side of the Universe.
His suspicions are confirmed when he arrives at his favorite local coffee shop, The Harlem Hot Spot, and sees a hand-written sign: “No espresso today, only drip or cold brew. Sorry for the inconvenience - Mgmt.” With a heavy sigh he pushes the door open, the familiar overhead bell cheerfully jangling in a way that almost feels mocking.
“Hey, Detective Wilson.” Charisse, who always works the morning shift when Sam comes in, waves from behind the counter. “Sorry, but no usual today.”
“Yeah, I saw the sign. What happened?”
“Espresso machine is on the fritz.” She grimaces as she says it, like she’s waiting for him to snap at her for it. It’s probably her hundredth time explaining it today, and knowing New York morning commuters she’s probably been yelled at several times already. “We got drip or cold brew, if you want coffee.”
It’s absolutely a double-shot kind of day but that means he’ll need to go to the Starbucks next to the precinct where he’ll pay way too much for a shitty latte.
“Again? Damn, y’all need to get a new machine,” he grumbles.
She snorts. “We take cash, Apple Pay or Amazon gift cards if you’re feeling generous. Maurice is coming by later to fix it.”
He gets a large coffee to go, along with a blueberry muffin. He’s been trying to cut back on his carbs but, fuck it, anything to help his shitty mood. He stuffs a couple singles into the tip jar, mixes some half and half into his cup and makes his way to the precinct by way of the (subway).
By the time Sam gets to the station, his coffee is already half gone, and he knows he’s going to need to find time to make midday coffee run. He makes his way through the chaos that happens every morning as the graveyard shift tries to wrap up their paperwork and gives the lowdown of the previous night’s events to the day shift. As he crosses the lobby, Sam sees Officer Joaquin Torres, catch his eye, file in hand, and immediately makes a dash for the elevator. The kid is nice enough, albeit a little eager, and wants to be a detective. He’s decided on Sam being his mentor even though Sam never agreed to any such thing.
“Sir, I’ve got something for you! Just came through processing!”
“No, Torres!” he calls over his shoulder. “I haven’t had enough caffeine yet for whatever the fuck you got in that file.” He jams the button to the third floor but Torres is faster and manages to squeeze in as the doors shut.
“Well drink up sir, because you’re gonna wanna see this.”
“I told you a million times, man, don’t call me sir,” Sam sighs, rubbing his temples with a free hand.
He already feels a headache coming on, and the bad feeling he woke up with intensifies. The elevator dings as the doors open to the bullpen, the sound reverberating around his skull. He takes the folder with a heavy sigh and makes his way over to his desk, Torres hot on his heels. Something about the kid’s demeanor is off; it’s like he knows what Sam’s reaction is going to be before Sam does and he doesn’t like that.
Setting his coffee and uneaten muffin down, Sam flips open the file and starts reading but only gets a few sentences before he feels the air leaving his lungs. He looks up at Torres, who’s staring at him anxiously.
“This was from this morning?”
“Found the body around 4 am, sir.”
Sam looks back down at the report: vic is a male, early thirties, body dumped in the Hudson, missing their left arm.
“Jesus Christ, Torres. It’s fucking Riley.”
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When Justin tells Brian that him cheating with Ethan was about more than sex and that Ethan loves him, you can see Brian stop dead in his tracks for a split second. Even though he has his hangups abt love, at that point it had been shown that he does love Justin (the silent admission w/ Debbie, the rules, helping Justin recover and paying his tuition) so hearing Justin basically say this guy I just met loves me more than you ever could must've hurt. And ofc instead of verbalizing his feelings (which is what Justin needed to hear in that moment) and fighting for their relationship, Brian goes into defence mode and pushes him away. Then Justin asks him would he care if he were to leave and Brian doesn't answer this directly, again giving him an ultimatum. But this eventually gets answered at the start of s3 when we're shown how much of a mess Brian is with Justin gone, and honestly any time Justin leaves. The man cannot function without him and yet he would rather sabotage his own happiness. If you can't tell I'm on their first breakup era on my rewatch so I have a ton of feelings right now lmao
Hey anon!
Yesss to everything you said!
God I love those moments and how they feed into season 3 and all it's angsty glory I absolutely live for that era. Brian freezing the moment Justin says "he loves me" and then literally grabbing his face and having the most INTENSE eye contact/forehead touch when he asks him if he cares whether he leaves or not!!!! The heart stopping tension of yelling through the screen JUST SAY YES YOU IDIOT. I'm here for it all. Not to mention the Oscar winning scene of Justin returning in the night and Brian pulling back the covers and just holding him whilst they're both having silent breakdowns and I'm sobbing over it all.
Some breakup eras you just can't watch because they're so painful or badly written but with this one I honestly love rewatching it. It probably helps that I didn't see it live but had the magic of knowing that they got back together lol and that the third wheel in this relationship ie Ethan is such a non threat. He makes me laugh and the only reason I haven't watched his and Justin's scenes is because I die of cringe sorry not sorry :))
Brian's love for Justin is so strong that even though it kills him they're not together he never tries to force him to come back or guilt trip him in any way. He actually ends up helping both him and Ethan out lol I mean hello, who would do that?!! But it's a testament to what a kind heart he actually has. To us it's as simple as just tell him you love him like Lindsey advises him to but deep down he fears that no one could actually love him like that and ultimately they'll always leave. Ugh Brian's characterisation makes me weep there's so many layers to it. Brian being the most insecure yet owardly confident person ever how I love and relate to him <3
One of my favourite things about his story arc is how every moment of change or growth from him across the show can be tied back to that iconic I don't believe in love speech from 1x02. And when he finds himself in situations where it goes against his belief of love being for fools and how it'll hurt you we see he will get it wrong or self sabotage because of his fears or not knowing how to handle it. I seriously need to make a gifset someday of those parallels.
#britin#brian kinney#queer as folk#soph asks#anyone who watched#the breakup era as it aired#i wanna know your thoughts#was it so painful#did you know they'd reunite#did anyone like ethan#or even ship that ship#👀
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