#i mean i know it’s not that easy to bring him out but… for more than thousand days already?????? THAT’S CRAZY AS FUCK MAN
Text
it's not about the roses
pairing: chan x reader (i wrote it with idol!chan or producer!chan in mind, but despite a brief mention of the studio it can fit any au, really)
word count: 1,1k
genre/warnings: er, fluff, a hint of angst if you squint but overall just tooth rotting sweetness. reader being kinda vulnerable
author's note: inspired by my and @skzms 's channie brain worms, me crying over how boyfie he is in may's dms and her coming up with this little prompt. i'm manifesting a sweet healthy relationship for y'all, never settle for less <3
you were never the one for flowers, really.
it just didn’t seem anything meaningful or special, an occasional cute little bouquet on some first date you had ages ago, meeting someone completely new after mindlessly swiping them right on a dating app.
plus, it’s always such a bother to take care for it. disassemble the thing, cut the stems, change the water, maybe cut off the leaves too.
at some point, you began to think of yourself as more of a practical person, taking gift giving to the point where it completely lost symbolism. always getting your friends and family either money or something they specifically asked for.
“at least, they’re actually gonna use it and get some utility out of it. ‘s good, right?” you thought to yourself, ticking a box on one of your friend’s wishlists for their birthday.
it is good. no stress of choosing and endlessly pondering whether they’ll like it or not.
or is it avoiding the vulnerability of going down a more symbolic route if they don’t happen to respond to your gift the way you’d like them to after carefully planting hidden meanings and confessions all over a seemingly useless present?
yeah, maybe, that’s the one, actually.
it was a regular saturday evening, no work, no plans, no big day or anything to celebrate. so, naturally, you were just spending the time at your place, resting after successfully having done all the house chores in one go.
purposelessly lying on the bed, you wondered what chris was up to. it wasn’t something out of the ordinary for you two to leave each other hanging during the day, keeping each other’s messages unread and waiting for some free time to give a thoughtful, proper reply.
but the little “1” next to your kakaotalk message was starting to feel unfriendly because... honestly? you just missed him. you wanted to know about his day, what he ate for lunch and whether work was okay today (knowing full well the man couldn’t care less about days of the week, coming over at the studio any time he needed or pleased).
distracting yourself with scrolling tiktok for a quick dopamine hit, you end up losing track of time a little. and the thing bringing you back to reality is chan’s short message, popping up on your notifications bar.
“can you come out for a sec? i’m at the door hehe~”
it takes you three times to read to finally understand what it actually means.
he doesn’t have keys to your apartment yet, and you mostly hang out at his place anyways, so him coming all the way to the opposite side of the city makes your heart skip a beat.
you rush to the door and open it almost immediately, only to see channie, your channie, standing right in front of you with a nice bouquet of red roses wrapped up in kraft paper.
the next thing you notice is chan’s wide smile, so sincere and endearing it makes you wanna cry on the spot.
you were never the one for flowers, really.
red roses always seemed like something either too vulgar or “easy”. something that becomes men’s first pick because they just never care enough to look for anything else and assume every girl loves it by default.
right now, however, it doesn’t feel like either of those.
the way chris is a bit nervous and really excited all at once; his hands gripping at the crunchy paper-wrapped base as he's waiting to give the flowers to you.
the way his eyes sparkle and shine with warmth and genuine adoration for you. and you read past the roses, you learn so much more from it.
you learn how he’s been quiet because he was plotting a little surprise for you, trying not to be too obvious.
you see how he thought of you during the entire process, from an idea to carefully picking out the best flowers, making sure they’re fresh and pretty and will stay this way a while.
you can hear his timid little “thank you” to the florist as they exchange their bows and polite smiles.
you imagine the slightly awkward small talk with the taxi driver asking him about the occasion — the traffic and the parking area next to your building are awful, so you’re guessing he did take the taxi. and the drivers sure love to talk on the long drives, this one you had to learn the hard way.
gosh, chan looks so warm and… so soft, his lips making a familiar heartbreaking :] shape.
snapping out of your thoughts, you look into chris’s eyes and swallow down a salty lump in your throat.
“please don’t be alarmed, but i probably will cry a little,” you warn him before your voice gives out and take the roses, holding them close to your chest where the heart is bleeding.
“so pretty,” you stare down at the gentle velvety petals and sniff quietly.
chan looks worried for a moment but quickly pulls you into his embrace, stepping into the apartment and locking the door behind him.
“hey-y, i expected a smile, not your tears, baby. i didn’t upset you, did i?” to which you shake your head to reassure him.
“no, no, ‘course not! what do you mean? they’re so nice. i’m just… really happy? and i missed you. so much,” the last words come out like a weak mouse squeak as you close your eyes and let your emotions roll down your cheeks, staining your skin wet.
chan nods and takes your face into his palms, wiping away the tears and looking at you so lovingly you think you might actually break.
“i missed you too, baby. do you mind if i stay the night? i…- uh. i bought some face masks too, so we can just relax a little before bed and cuddle?”
you squeeze out a little “yeah” in response, headbutting his forehead and putting your arm around him, with another still holding the roses carefully.
“i love you,” you say slightly louder, making sure that he hears it.
maybe, gifts don’t have to be practical all the time.
maybe, it’s okay to put sentimental value into simple, useless things sometimes. make them mean something.
“i love you too, baby,” chris hums still a little confused, rubbing soothing circles into your lower back and planting a chaste kiss on the bridge of your nose.
you reach for his plump soft lips and press yours against them.
and even though your tastebuds can feel the salt, it’s the sweetest kiss you two have shared so far.
#skz imagines#skz x reader#skz x you#my fic#bang chan x you#bang chan x reader#chan x reader#chan x you#bang chan x female reader#chan x female reader#skz bang chan#stray kids bang chan#stray kids fanfic#skz fic#my writing#my work#skz fanfic
158 notes
·
View notes
Text
oh?, choi san
classroom crush! ateez san x gn! reader (nonchalant vs oa lmao)
FINALLY SOME FLUFF
wc: 2.2k
warnings: none that i know of
a/n: i've done so much of this storyline i think this might be the last one of it
San remembers his first day as a returnee, striding down the hallway to his room, notes and pens tucked in his arm. Upon entering his room, was delightedly welcomed by one of the regular students- you.
"Hi, is this seat taken?" San asks cautiously as he points at the seat beside you, crouching to hear you better. When you turn your head to look at him, but instead, your jaw drops.
"Well aren't you fucking gorgeous," Is that even a whisper? San was astonished, blinking at you. It was needless to say that he was intimidated by that single line, feet discreetly stepping back and escaping the situation. "Sorry. Slipped. No one sits there," Your poker face confuses him more. You're a weird junior. You quickly focus back on your phone, as if you hadn't just said the most compliment San could ever receive.
"Ah, thanks... But I think I'll just find ano-," When he whips his head around to find another seat untaken, he panics. You don't look awkward at all, but San is. He doesn't want that. But there aren't any seats left, and he isn't close with anyone to strike a conversation just to switch seats with him. So he dejectedly takes a seat, scooting farther, maybe just a bit, away from you.
The day just wouldn't end like that, San just had to forget to bring an index card- the whole class did. And you just had to be prepared for it. Out of all his blockmates, it just had to be you. It makes everything hard for him when you hand all of your classmates a card one by one, when it all came down to him.
"You have one?" One was already hanging loose between your index and middle finger, handing it to him. It takes him a few more seconds before he shyly takes the card and thanking you softly, and he glances at you to see if you're really unbothered by the thing a while ago.
You really were.
At that point on, San had considered you a friend (he hopes you do too) that he can count on. Being a returnee wasn't easy, and you helped him adjust to the environment quite easily. You were someone who was blunt, straightforward. Unlike San, who overthought every situation he had been, and will most likely overthink the coming situations.
"Oh San. Hello. Are you at the room right now?" You quickly ask right when he answers your call. When he hums, "I forgot my extra shirt under my desk. Do you mind bringing it over here to the gym? Please and thank you."
Like you gave him a choice. He chuckles to himself, just agreeing and immediately getting into action. He retrieves your extra shirt for PE (which he, thank god, had taken already and passed the last year before he went for LOA) and jogs to the gym, where he finds exiting students already. When he asks a familiar face of where you are, they just point inside the gymnasium.
At last, the gym only had a number of students getting ready to leave, and he still doesn't see a strand of your hair. When he tries to reach his pockets for his phone, he sighs when he realizes he left it at your desk.
He cautiously walks to the changing room, where he tries to shout out loud, bravely, calling for your name.
"y/n... please come out, I have your shirt and there's no one else to ask a favor for," He thinks if you're even still there. But when he hears footsteps approaching he perks up.
Not until he sees you, though. He immediately turns red, and I mean literally red, and immediately- when he sees you only covered with a towel. He stands frozen in place, shirt in his hand reaching out to you.
"What, first time seeing a person half naked, pretty boy?" Your nonchalance was killing him inside. You thank him as you retrieve your shirt, asking him to wait for you since he was there already. As if you had just done the most normal thing friends do.
Or was San just not used to this friend-thing relationship that was normal for you?
"Hey, y/n. How are you?" San starts, the chair scraping the marbled floor.
"Good. You?" You reply simply, not even glancing at him.
"Good too," San nervously chuckles, but you don't buy it. With a simple whisper of 'spit', he folds. "Well... Not good, actually. I haven't been feeling well the past few days and I really want to stay in today but I had a quiz this morning. I really want to attend this class since I'm here already but my body's declining. Would you be so kind to share your notes for today?" San rambles, immediately feeling sorry for the inconvenience already.
"Okay." You answer, nodding at him. He waits a few more seconds to see if you'll add onto that, but nothing comes out. So he immediately thanks you, standing up and ready to leave when you grab his sleeve.
"Right, here. I've been meaning to give this." You throw him a small paper bag full of meds, "Get well soon. Miss you already," He doesn't know whether that was sarcastic or not. He doesn't care. What matters were the medicines in his hand, released from the pharmacy dated to three days ago, when he started feeling under the weather and has been doing everything to hide it.
He feels... weird. You're weird.
He remembers all that. That's how it has always been for the two of you. All along, he thought that he was the one who... he doesn't know. He doesn't even know, but all along he thought it was a him problem. Not a you problem.
So why were you here, in front of him, confessing your love for him?
Not the pretty-boy-adoration level, but a serious kind of level.
"I like you, Choi San. I think it's been for a while already." San couldn't figure you out until the end. So he figures that maybe, all this time, it's not a romantically-inclined interest he had for you, but a rather type of 'you're a weird-fun that's why you keep me on my toes' kinda thing.
And he doesn't want that. He doesn't want that for you because you deserve better. Just because you were a fresh air for him, doesn't mean that he'd only keep you to have his own part of fun.
"Uh... y/n..." He doesn't know what to say. He hopes to keep the friendship you've been building, but he also needs your keep of the decision for that. "Sorry, but..."
"Okay." You shrug, smiling at him. "It's fine. I get it. Don't worry, we can go back and act like nothing happened, right?" You didn't even let him finish. But he thinks he dodged a bullet there. Because of how he knows himself, he would've fucked it all up without meaning to if you let him finish. "Let's go back to the room?" You pat his arm, and you were back to being... unbothered. Like you didn't just get rejected.
Did San read too much romantic novels? Watch too much movies? To expect more reaction from you?
But apart from all that's raging his mind now, he follows you back to the room, and just like you- it feels like nothing happened. Maybe, it was better that way.
But when he asks your friend Yeonjun why he was going through your desk, and answers you asked to bring him your extra shirt and bottle of water to the gym, he's dumbfounded.
Not that he had some grudge for Yeonjun, but... hadn't you always asked him with that? I thought we're back to being whatever you were before the confession? Why was he now looking at Yeonjun like just committed a heinous crime?
But he lets Yeonjun off the hook (partially because Yeonjun was now sprinting out of the room to get to you and he didn't had the leisure to confront Yeonjun about it) and stares at the empty seat beside him, left with only traces of you.
Maybe, just maybe, Yeonjun crossed your mind first this time around, than San.
But well oh well, it happens again.
"Yeonjun, can you pass me the scale ruler, please? Oh and could you grab these plates unharmed and go with me to the office to drop these off before class ends," San was sure prior the confession, you had always asked him around. But now... what the hell?
"We can go now," Yeonjun stands up with no complain, getting all of the plates to go with you while you prepare. Why is Yeonjun acting like all of this is normal? Like... isn't he finding it weird that he's now the one getting asked around, not him?
San could now rip his hair all out for all he knows. He thought you wanted to go back to normal? Why is he noticing even the littlest changes now? Why is he so frustrated anyway?
His last resort was now two weeks after the confession, and everything has changed for him. Maybe just him, because he had started even noticing the smallest changes in your actions, or if it even changed- from the looks of it of other people's point of view, it didn't. But for him, a lot has changed.
"y/n, do you want to go get materials for the next project together later?" San encourages himself to initiate an offer, while the both of you were alone after a while, Yeonjun having something to cram on during break.
"Oh, San. Sorry, I already promised Yeonjun that I'll help him with his requirements later." You reply, biting your sandwich and glancing at him, then back to your book
"Tomorrow?" San was desperate. He wanted to make things right, but he doesn't even know if there were things to correct in the first place. Why does he feel so responsible and desperate when he's the one who rejected you?
"...You want to meet on a Sunday?" You slowly set your book down, gawking at him.
"That's a problem now?"
"Oh now your attitude's a problem." With his snarky remark, you immediately rebut it with yours. You were getting confused of how he has been acting, like... he's also confused. You were back to acting how you were before you confessed, only San wasn't.
"What about my attitude, huh?" San presses, scooting closer to you to annoy you more lividly. You scoff, amused at the newly found attitude your senior had.
"What the hell is your problem, San?" You scoff in disbelief, a smirk in your lips at the amusement.
"You know what, now that we're in the topic anyway, let me ask you that. What the hell is your problem, y/n?" He starts, eyebrows furrowing into confusion. Yours raise, because what the hell was he talking about? "You confess and okay, I rejected you, I was expecting that you will never talk to me again because that's how it usually goes, but then you say that we can go back to acting like it never happened."
"So? I did!" You almost try and fight him, if it weren't for his palm flying to your mouth to shut you up.
"You! Didn't!" San rebuts, "It's always Yeonjun here, Yeonjun there- did you not like me anymore just like that?! Have you moved on quickly? Do I deserve getting ignored because I was too ignorant of my own feelings?!" San was now mad at himself. He always was.
Because if you answered yes to all of his questions, the blame falls into himself.
He let you go that easily. Just like that. All because of his uncertainties, really?
"Of course I still like you, idiot! Do you think I get over feelings fast like that?!" You push his hand away, your panicked state was a reflection of his panicked state. You were supposed to be the cool one here, but hearing San panic made you panic.
"Then why the hell are you avoiding me?!"
"You're crazy, I'm not! I'm acting the way I am!" You exasperatingly fight back, because you know you're right. "You're overthinking things like how you always are, okay, I get it." You calm down, because if you weren't no one was going to. "I'm sorry, okay, I didn't notice this time around, I'm sorry I should've been more careful."
"Why are you apologizing now... I should be. You must be so confused of how I am acting right now..." San starts, shoulders drooping, lips turning to a pout. "I've only come to agreement to my feelings just now, y/n. I'm so sorry I came too late," San grabs your hand, caressing it.
You almost turn into a ball at how San was acting, feeling all giddy and happy at the same time.
"Really? San, I don't want you saying anything at the heat of the moment, you can take your time. This might only be because you were overly cautious of my actions after my confession which made you confused. You can take your time, San." You caress his hand with your other, smiling at him.
"No, I've just been trudging it out longer. I've been feeling this way ever since we met. But if I told you that earlier, it would've been weird, wouldn't it?" With a chuckle, you pull San for a hug, one that had been long overdue.
"Fuck Yeonjun, he can cram all by himself."
taglist: @sunlightwoo (answer the form on my pinned to be included!)
#ateez scenarios#ateez imagines#ateez x reader#ateez#ateez choi san#choi san#choi san x reader#san x reader#choi san fluff#san fluff#san imagines#choi san imagine#choi san scenario#ateez oneshots#ateez angst#choi san oneshots#ateez san x reader#san#ateez timestamps#ateez drabbles#ateez timestamp#ateez drabble#ateez fluff#atz x reader#ateez scenario#ateez imagine#choi san scenarios#choi san imagines#Spotify
149 notes
·
View notes
Text
Okay back on my human!au ideas. I'm gonna do a compilation post or something because the others are just rambles and they aren't exactly easy to find... I don't even have it in the masterlist anywhere... mostly 'cause these are just ideas that I have no idea what I'm gonna do with. asldfj anyway! Feel free to use them if you feel so inclined!
(For reference: Beel, Belphie, Satan, & Asmo, more Asmo & Mammon - you can also check the tag #misc human au)
Okay so I've talked about all the brothers except for Lucifer and Levi, but here's what I'm thinking.
Basically, I can't really imagine any of the brothers living fully alone, so while Beel & Belphie are both living on the farm (though possibly in different buildings) and Satan & Asmo are sharing a place in the city (probably in one side of a duplex because I think an apartment would be too small for them lol), I've decided the three older brothers live together, too.
BUT. Levi is a marine biologist. He has his own boat for research purposes (his research is likely also funded by the university where Satan teaches) and sometimes he goes out on his boat for weeks at a time. His main focus for his research is whales or maybe manatees or something, but everybody knows he's secretly trying to find evidence of sea serpents.
Still completely obsessed with anime & manga, I don't think you could ever take the otaku out of Levi lol. So when he goes out on his boat, he brings piles of manga and anime to catch up on while he's out there.
He has a lot of high tech equipment on his boat that he's especially good at maintaining. Other researchers often ask him for help with this.
When he's home, he spends his time holed up in his room playing video games, occasionally emerging for food and what have you. He also spends a decent amount of time working through what he learned on his expeditions and writing research papers good enough to continue getting grants. Satan helps with those, taking Levi's data and making it sound good. Sometimes Belphie helps out too.
All the other brothers seek out Levi when they need help with tech and sometimes he takes them out on his boat for rides or even if they just wanna get away for a couple days. Belphie especially likes to do this because you get some amazing views of the stars out on the ocean.
Lucifer owns a vineyard. It's not far from Beel's farm, but unlike Beel Lucifer doesn't live there. His house is in the city proper and as mentioned, he shares it with Levi and Mammon.
Lucifer spends a lot of time at the vineyard, though, perfecting the various methods of wine production to create a superior product. He's the real money maker of this family. While everybody else makes money from their various jobs, Lucifer's personal wine label makes the most. We all know that Lucifer would take care of all of his brothers if any of them needed anything. He gives them money regularly and doesn't ask for it back.
Human!Lucifer is much softer than demon!Lucifer in general. There is some angsty family history that I will write about in a different post, but basically he's been through a lot. Basically raised all his brothers himself and they mean everything to him. He isn't about to let them stumble through life because they didn't have enough money. Especially not if he has it to give them.
He's more indulgent, probably middle aged, tired. He was perhaps more intense when he was younger, but he's mellowed out at this point.
He and Mammon are both very business minded, so together they kinda keep everybody else on track. They help with the business side of Beel's farm, allowing Beel to focus on things like crop quality. And if for some reason Levi or Belphie don't get the funds they need from the university, Lucifer and Mammon come up with ways to supplement their income. Satan does all right as a professor and Asmo is a successful therapist, so they don't need as much help. But they will come to their older brothers for advice. Together, Lucifer and Mammon are especially good at helping their brothers plan for retirement lol. They're like, listen we know you're young and don't care, but you gotta start saving with that 401k!!
Lucifer thinks Mammon is a little too wild with his fancy cars, but he also admits that Mammon is good at what he does. Levi worries Lucifer when he's locked up in his room for too long or when he's gone on his boat for too long without checking in.
Lucifer is proud of Satan and Asmo, how they're doing well on their own together, how successful and well balanced they both turned out. He worries a little bit about Belphie, spending a lot of time alone staring at the stars, but he's also aware that Belphie is doing what he loves. Lucifer is also proud of Beel for pursuing something as difficult as farming.
I still like the idea of MC being the only non human in this scenario lol. The one pink sheep on Beel's farm. But of course there could be a situation in which they all meet an MC character...
Buuuut I also think I'm getting ahead of myself. We still got the tragic family backstory and the side characters to consider.
Anyway, this is just me rambling about my thoughts. More likely to come 'cause I can't stop thinking about them.
#I've been considering the side characters too#still working that out though#obey me#obey me nightbringer#obey me lucifer#obey me mammon#obey me leviathan#obey me satan#obey me asmodeus#obey me beelzebub#obey me belphegor#obey me human au#misc human au#misc rambles
45 notes
·
View notes
Text
REACTIONS TO U HAVING AN ED - SKZ
TW // ED
check out my bts versions too for forever saranghae for our boys
-
HYUNJIN
Ah, Y/N that's a lot to handle... my schedule's already busy.. aish. Just eat for me today okay?
Gains inspiration for his art, drawing ed related art which triggers u more but he doesn't mean to.
whenever it's meal time, he side eyes u until u eat
when u take pics together, he edits ur body to try to make u feel better
-
FELIX
No.... Y/N... you broke the promise.
he's upset, because you promised to eat and stay healthy
he gets competitive
ur ed worsens because he loses weight quicker than u and sees u as competition
becomes ur pro bf
-
LEE KNOW
no you don't... Y/N you shouldn't joke about that LOL
thinks you're joking
makes jokes about ur ed
'u dont look like u have an ed'
encourages u to eat by telling u how easy it is
-
BANGCHAN
Babygirl, don't, you're perfect the way you are...
makes u meals and doesnt leave until u finish
tells u to eat for him
'if you don't eat, i won't.'
'you're my strength y/n. if you dont have strength, neither will i'
-
JEONGIN
'...'
doesnt know how to react
avoids u for a few days after u tell him
accidentally makes it into a big deal at every mealtime
'y/n, eat as much as you can okay?'
blabs to the members without realizing it; 'guys, don't cut y/n a big piece of cake she has en ed'
-
HAN
'what? why wouldn't you eat?'
it doesnt make sense to him
he's always stressing about it and asking if u ate
makes u send photos of finished meals to him
sends u recovery videos
-
SEUNGMIN
'what? u don't eat? y/n.. how are u alive then?'
thinks it means u dont eat at all
makes low cal meals for u
never takes u on dates involving food
thinks he's helping but he's helping u get worse
-
CHANGBIN
'that's nonsense babe. start working out with me instead, okay?'
brings u to the gym with him
sneaks high calorie ingredients into ur food
'if u keep starving yourself, you'll lose your best assets babe...'
sends u articles about ed deaths and ed horror stories
puts u on a meal plan
-
WOOJIN
*beats you up until you vomit* 'see, i knew it. you had food in your stomach, you'll be fine'
-
hope u enjoyed! send requests in my asks <3
check out my other imagines too! i purple u always
#skz#stray kids#skz imagine#stray kids imagine#skz x you#skz x reader#skz imagines#stray kids imagines#stray kids x reader#stray kids x you#skz fanfic#stray kids fanfic#skz reactions#stray kids reactions#skz reacts to#skz reacts
30 notes
·
View notes
Text
blue waves and his last kiss ｜ satosugu x f!reader
with a friend abruptly gone from your lives one day, you and satoru are left behind to reminisce about the love from past to present, and a future without him.
[content] slice of life, hurt/comfort, unestablished relationships, mentions of sex, mentions of underage drinking & smoking, mentions of death, implied child neglect/abuse, something about trying to cope with loss and grief (?? i think), non-linear
[word count] 9.3k
[note] summer memories told out of chronological order… i tried to do something new ┐(´ー｀)┌
The train gradually slows, screeching to a stop, piercing his ears and rings. This old village is still surrounded by a dreamy haze, almost slumbering, everything here is slowed down, and Satoru can feel everything; the gentle breeze carrying the faint scent of the ocean brings him back to summer. Their summer. His summer with you.
Walking down the streets feels a little empty, drained of life, gravel crunches beneath his feet with each stride, nothing has changed within a year, and he inhales, loosening his tie. Satoru has never been fond of wearing suits for formal events; he wishes he had worn his school uniform to attend the ceremony instead.
Dreadful, thick air, the smell of the dead welcomes him before he steps into the place. White chrysanthemums, lilies, and Satoru almost finds it hard to breathe here. It’s full of people he doesn’t recognise, an old lady he thinks he met last summer, and you. Even by your back alone, Satoru knows it’s you. So small and curled up near the corner, your head is hung low, not looking at anyone or anything, eyes getting lost in the thin lines of the flooring.
Satoru kneels down beside you, wrapping an arm around your stiff shoulders. You look up in surprise, eyes empty, brimmed-red, matching the tip of your nose. “Hi. Sorry, the train was a little delayed.”
“Satoru…” your voice comes out croaky, barely above a whisper.
Satoru looks down at you, pulling you into his arms as he tells you it’s okay, that you are fine. You really aren’t fine, it’s evident in your tired expression, your broken heart you wear on your sleeve. But you are still alive. You, a non-sorcerer. That should count for something, and it does, it’s more than something, in a tragic way, Satoru understands what it means. A remaining piece of him begins to break.
You are shaking in his arms and he holds you tighter. “How could this happen? They said…” your words are lost within your mumbling and how you are pressed right against his chest. “And the police said they don’t know… I don’t—Satoru.” His name escapes your mouth, you say it so sadly, begging him for something he can’t give to you, something that he wants, too.
“I don’t know,” he chokes out an easy lie, thin, almost painful, none of his eyes are looking at you. His line of sight is only focused on the pairs of slanted eyes that replicate the deep, soul sucking ones he had first met when the cherry blossoms bloomed three years ago. Incense smoke rising high in front of the still frames.
—
Satoru forces himself to tag along, much like he always seems to do these days, hanging off of Suguru, following him around to annoy him. He allows Satoru to come with him to visit his hometown because Suguru wouldn’t leave him in this shithole alone, right? (Of course, Suguru would never do that.)
After hours riding the train, it comes to a slow stop. Cicadas greet them with a loud screech in the air once they hop off the train, the familiar scent of the ocean hits, and that’s how Suguru knows he returned back to his hometown. It’s humid, too hot out here, his loose strand of hair begins to stick to his forehead, and Suguru wipes away the sweat. He glances over to Satoru who looks absolutely fine in the heat, he doesn’t understand how Satoru rarely sweats, even during training. Even Buddha has his favourites.
“Oh, wow? This place is so…” Satoru trails off as he looks around at the scenery around them.
“So what?”
“Unique.” It clicks off of Satoru’s tongue like a sickening sweet insult, coated bright red in the cherry flavoured lollipop that he sucked on the ride here. Rude. Snobby. And hypocritical. Satoru had been raised in the countryside too, Suguru learned this months after being ridiculed by the said boy for being a ‘country boy’. They aren’t so different. However (unlike him), Satoru is someone special, so special, and was raised in a secluded place for a reason. A reason nobody, but the holder of six-eyes could understand, and a small fishing village like this is nothing compared to what Satoru is used to.
Suguru rolls his eyes at that, not replying, to which Satoru takes as a sign to continue speaking. “It’s very you, Sugu-chan. I mean it.”
“What have I told you about calling me that?”
“Okay, sorry, so sorry,” he unapologetically replies with a smirk, childish and irritating, mischief reflecting in his icy eyes, a grin that begins to grow deviously. “Guru-chan.”
“God, you’re so annoying sometimes.”
“Oh, you should know flattery will get you nowhere.”
—
His mother greets him with a hug, wrinkled and cold hands holding him, she glances over his shoulder to Satoru, whose eyes are darting around the old hallway, his judging eyes hidden behind those tinted black lenses. “Is this the special boy you told me about?”
“Oh, you called me special, Suguru?” Satoru teasingly asks with a laugh to his words.
Suguru rolls his eyes at the boy’s growing ego, somebody needs to pop it one day. “I didn’t say that. And yes, mom, this is Gojō Satoru, one of my classmates,” he says, drawing out the last word, Satoru clicks his tongue. “Satoru, this is my mom.”
Suguru watches the two share a greeting, forced, and awkward kindness neither of them share. The walk to his bedroom is short, Satoru is quick to force his way inside to inspect the room he will be staying in for the next few weeks. He predicts Satoru’s next words correctly, like always, saying, ‘What a small room,’ and then, ‘How interesting.’ Asshole. What makes it annoying is how Satoru isn’t trying to be rude, this is just how he speaks, which is somehow more irritating.
Satoru is looking through his leftover collection of CDs he had forgotten to pack the last time he was here, he had already brought all of his favourite ones with him. Satoru picks out an album, one he is quick to recognise as the one his childhood got for him last christmas, ‘My Sweet Darlin’’ by Hitomi Yaida plays on his old stereo, your favourite song of hers. Satoru mentions this is his favourite single by her, Suguru blinks, he doesn’t mention you, nor the coincidence.
“Suguru!”
Ah, speaking of the devil, he thinks as he hears you before he sees you, the familiar sound of your footsteps running down the hall, your voice, and the moment he turns around you wrap your arms around him.
“Oh, hi, didn’t expect you to get here so quick,” he says, wrapping an arm around your waist, pulling you closer for a second, the scent of your shampoo and perfume is so sweet like coconuts.
“That’s what I should be saying, you know how those trains are always delayed,” you happily reply, saying something about how it’s been a while and that you missed him.
Satoru can’t keep his eyes off of you, his gaze locked on your figure, then he looks to Suguru, and smirks, mouthing some words, which widens Suguru’s eyes as he subtly shakes his head.
“I brought over some leftover onigiri I made earlier… Oh, wait, are you and your friend not done packing yet? I’ll wait for you in the kitchen,” you say, looking over to Satoru who acknowledges your attention with a simple wave and signature smile in which you return.
“Okay, we’ll be down in a minute,” Suguru says to you as you nod, making your way out the door to the kitchen downstairs.
“Hey, you’ve never mentioned a girlfriend before… She is kinda hot, she might be the Waka Inoue type in a few years. You’re one lucky guy,” Satoru says letting out a shameless whistle.
“She is my childhood friend,” Suguru hisses once he makes sure you are out of sight. “Don’t say things like that about her.”
“What? It was a compliment. I always say things like this to you and you never—” Satoru abruptly stops, and Suguru can tell his eyes are gleaming behind those stupid sunglasses of his, he teasingly grins, pearly white flashing at him. “Oh. I get it. It’s ‘cause she is like your girl, but isn’t your girl, right?” His girl. Not his girl.
Suguru scoffs at the assumption, denying it. “No… Satoru, sometimes normal people find talk like that gross.”
“Okay then… I am so sorry,” he slowly replies, voice void of understanding, obviously not knowing why people may be turned off hearing words like that. His words go in and out through the other ear, Satoru only likes to hear what he wants to hear. “But you think she’s hot, like, it’s not just me, right?”
Suguru merely shrugs his shoulders with a sigh, dismissing Satoru. He agrees, saying you are pretty and changes the subject to something Satoru likes. To digimon and those pokémon cards he’s been collecting.
(You made tuna onigiri, his favourite, and karashi mentaiko onigiri, with a glass of iced genmaicha, exactly what is needed on a day like this.)
—
You are eighteen when you are whisked away from this little dull village to the lively city of Tokyo. To a bigger world where the lights never turn off. For a long time you’ve imagined this moment, and now that your wish has come true, you can’t find yourself smiling like you do in your fantasies. The midnight train ride is a long one, it’s silent and cold, too. The scenery passes you by, too fast and too dark to see.
Satoru is here with you. Sitting in the blue seat in front of you, his signature sunglasses rest low on the bridge of his nose. Eyes so void of emotion. Similar to when winter arrives and frosts over the ocean. A sheet of ice, you cannot see nothing, but your own reflection. Full of discomfort, chilling, you hate the way your lonesome reflection is hazed and muddled when he looks at you. You don’t want to see it, so you turn away.
“You good over there?”
“Yeah, I am just getting tired. It’s a little late,” you reply and before you get the chance to ask if he’s alright (which would be an understatement; his lifeless eyes and the dark circles that rest underneath are quite telling, almost as if he hasn’t slept in a few days), he quietly laughs as he leans his head against the cold window, saying he’s a little tired, too.
This Satoru resembles nothing of the boy you met during summer back then. That boyish smile of his feels lacks warmth; those pretty blue eyes of his are fully crystallised, reminding you of when snow heavily begins to fall. Summer is over, your final summer of youth comes to an end, the last page scribbled of black swirls.
Satoru sends you a sleepy smile when he catches your eyes glancing at him from time to time, you force a thin smile back. “This is exciting, huh? It’s like you’re a dumb kid running away from home, following some random guy to Tokyo. Imagine if you were following a murderer home.”
You awkwardly laugh at Satoru’s joke, his sense of humour is sometimes different from what you are used to, Suguru would say this is just how Satoru is, and not to take his words too seriously. You assume it’s a city people thing. “Wow, how romantic, or should I be concerned right now?”
“Perhaps, it is a little bit of both. Scared of me yet?”
“Maybe a little bit now,” you jokingly reply.
Underneath his playful tone and airy laugh, bitterness lies beneath, and you can understand it all too well. When Satoru catches your lurking eyes, he pushes up his frames, shielding those eyes of his from you, black lens blocking you out. You are tired, so tired, yet sleep doesn’t consume you the entire ride there.
—
The entire sky is painted bright blue, thin white clouds floating above, instantly reminding him of Satoru. The sky twinkles deeply in his eyes, the sun captured within, Suguru is almost envious at how Satoru easily consumes the world, how the world kisses him.
You and Suguru drag Satoru out of the house to show him your secret spot in this little seaside town. You are carrying a homemade kite that you’ve been working on the past few days, made up of scrap fabric from your old bed sheet. Suguru and Satoru follow behind you, carrying a bag of snacks and cold drinks from the little shop on the main street.
Walking up north, the wind carries the sand across their exposed ankles, behind an area seemingly of huge rocks is an area on the beach where people don’t come to (you and Suguru just haven’t seen anyone here throughout the years).
You carefully lay your kite down on the sand, holding the handle tightly in your hands, your skirt flutters in the wind as you run.
The two of them sit on a long beach towel, picking at the carefully assorted fruits, Satoru only eats the strawberries before eating the other fruits. Satoru glances over his shoulder to you, nudging Suguru, as he tilts his head in your direction.
“Have you ever fucked her?” Satoru is blunt, he asks this with a knowing grin to his smug face. “Like, nobody could blame you if you dreamt about it before.”
“You’re an idiot, Satoru,” he scoffs, his words or actions aren’t harsh, he is almost smiling. How he thinks of you is no one’s business, but his own, what he does with you is only for you to know, and of course, Satoru will only think of it as sex, like all teenage boys do. Suguru can’t help, but roll his eyes. He realises that maybe Satoru has never liked someone before, like like.
“So you have…?”
“I never said that.”
“Didn’t deny it either.”
Satoru is someone who is loved by others, thousands have waited for his birth for many years. Satoru has the world beneath his feet — the elders, and his clan worship the very ground he walks on. He has marriage candidates, girls younger and older than him selected to become his wife, which Satoru always complains about. It’s sad, very sad, and he can’t help but feel bad for his best friend.
Everyone loves Gojō Satoru, but nobody really likes him. Suguru wonders if he’s the only person that will ever know Satoru, who he is, and what lies in his heart.
Your handmade kite drifts in the air, slowly coming down, until Satoru begins to chase you, you run and run, the kite flying high right behind you.
—
Satoru watches, watches, and watches — he has always been good at that. He sees everything, things nobody will ever see, light shimmering in the darkest cracks, specs of crushed stars scattering this world, six eyes allow him to, he is Gojō Satoru, afterall.
His focus is on Suguru and by extension, you. Your neighbours down the street, the Yamato’s, had given the three of you an extra watermelon they had grown. Suguru had chopped it open, cutting half of it into thick slices. It’s so sweet, refreshing on this hot day, the three of you are sitting in Suguru’s backyard, drinking in the summer heat and the cool breeze that drifts by every few minutes.
You offer Suguru a bite from the slice of watermelon you had already bitten. Suguru doesn’t like to share food – something about sharing germs and what-not – however, Suguru opens his mouth, taking a huge bite causing you to whine, yelling about how you hate it when he does that. You hit his shoulder and he playfully grins at you, your little star pendant swaying around your neck. He studies this side of Suguru he hasn’t seen before.
Watermelon juice runs down your hand, dripping onto your exposed thigh, you don’t wipe it away, not noticing it as you continue to talk and Satoru grabs another slice off of the plate to eat. He picks all of the black and white seeds out with his fingers before eating.
“Yup, but Tomoko-san absolutely loves pretty boys, so she will probably try to set you up for marriage with one of her daughters—they’re like eleven now,” you say, “right, Suguru? She is sweet but loves to chat a lot.”
Tomoko-san. Off the main street. White roof. Free fruits and drinks. Satoru has no idea what you are talking about or referring to, but he hums every time you pause for a second in wonder if he is listening, and he lets you know he is.
“Oh, don’t worry about him. Satoru doesn’t shut up.”
“Hey, don’t say that about him,” you scold him in a friendly manner, before turning your head to Satoru, flashing him a sweet smile, lips glossy from the watermelon juice. “If she bothers you, all you need to do is remind her that Suguru is at the age where he may need a suitor.”
“Ooh, throwing him under the bus, I like that.”
“I don’t. I’ll kill you if you do,” Suguru grumbles, and Satoru immediately takes his words as a challenge. Satoru has never once backed down from a challenge.
“How could you? You can’t even beat me during sparring, Suguru.”
“Should we find out then?” Suguru bites back like he always does, he’s never liked to be challenged.
“Yeah, let’s do it.”
“Hey! No fighting, it’s a nice day out, and I am trying to relax,” you speak up loudly between them, your hand gripping onto Suguru’s wrist.
“It’s actually called sparring,” Satoru spits out, and you roll your eyes.
Suguru explains this is just how they are, they spar together almost everyday during training, it’s something fun they like to do, especially when they are given permission to use their cursed techniques (which is rarely ever now after the damage they created during their first year).
You say, “I know that, but I don’t want to see two guys fight, oh, sorry, spar, nobody wants to see that.”
Suguru loosens his wrist from your grip, lightly holding onto your hand, stroking it with his thumb as he looks at you, telling you no spar would be taking place, they were only fooling around. Suguru looks a little different around you.
He wonders if Suguru loves you. Like the way humans love one another. He can tell that his best friend feels something towards you — something that isn’t friendly in the way Suguru treats him, it is in a way that’s foreign to him, perhaps, it’s because you two are childhood friends. Satoru has never had a childhood friend, so he wouldn’t know what it feels like. This side of Suguru is unfamiliar, overly gentle, touches that linger and tighten before letting go, something deeply blurred and entangled between the two of you. You are dangerously blurred within those violet eyes. Suguru has you, he probably has since so long ago, and you have him, and maybe that is a fact you don’t know.
Satoru sprinkles a bit of salt onto his watermelon slice, copying what he had seen you and Suguru do earlier. He immediately bites into it, the salty taste makes him grimace, spitting it out onto the freshly cut grass to which you both loudly laugh at. Suguru says he didn’t wait long enough, so he tries again, waiting a few minutes this time, the juice explodes into his mouth, overflowing with sweetness and he becomes addicted.
—
During the summer of your third year, you almost take all of your belongings and run to Tokyo. Almost. Yet you don’t, staying curled up on your bed in silence, swallowing your pain and hatred, your screams go unheard in the deep ocean. Forever muffled. The cicadas buzz loudly tonight, too loudly, the town is always so quiet during the night.
Tonight, Suguru visits you alone, without a call or any heads up. It’s midnight, you heard his school has a curfew, you wonder if he’ll get in trouble once he returns (“—and did you know Suguru is a delinquent? He makes the elders' heads hurt all the time, it’s true, he is no better than me,” Satoru had whispered into your ear last summer, a little secret treat for you, he said. You guess Satoru was telling the truth about that), you wonder why he visited so unexpectedly.
He invites himself in like this is his own bedroom, like he’s lived here for years, and technically he has. There’s something so different about him today, something sad in his slow movements, and shadow. There always has been. He’s always been wrapped in an air of melancholy, but his sadness tonight is different. Different in a way you think you’ll never know, in a way you could never understand, your heart burns, you swallow.
“Why are you here? You didn’t call,” you whisper in hopes your voice doesn’t slip through the cracks and awaken your parents. You walk over to your single size mattress, sitting down as Suguru joins you, sitting right next to you, legs touching within the small space.
He shrugs, saying, “I was nearby for a mission, thought I should come and see you.”
You’ve never once not believed in Suguru, he’s never given you a reason to doubt him, except for when he bottles things up and refuses to talk about it, always saying he is fine. You find it hard to believe his words tonight, you don’t think he was nearby, and guilt pricks your heart knowing you feel happy he came to see you. You’ve missed him dearly.
You lean forward, your hands rest on his shoulders, a bitter scent lingers on the collar of his white shirt, one that you have always hated since you were a child, you don’t know when it began to linger on Suguru, or when he began to start. His hair is let down, flowing down and framing his face beautifully, those eyes of his are too dark tonight; not a spec of purple can be seen, devoid of the deep violet you’ve fallen for all those years ago.
Suguru doesn’t say or do anything, so you tilt your head up, an attempt to capture his lips, however your lips are met with his thumb, pushing lightly against you. Suguru smiles so softly, so sadly, he looks down at you in a way you don’t recognise. Your heart races, a sharp pain piercing through you, and you place a hand on his wrist, as he runs his thumb against your bottom lip one last time.
“Oh. What’s wrong, Suguru? You don’t want to…?”
He shakes his head, “it’s nothing. I think the summer heat is getting to me.”
“Is it those missions you do? Or training… Has it been too hard for you?”
“No, it’s not that. Sometimes, they are tiring, and I feel like I need to rest, but I can’t.” Suguru does seem more tired than usual tonight, the dark circles underneath them are prominent.
“Oh, should we sleep then?” you offer, not wanting him to stay awake for any longer, especially when he seems so exhausted, on the verge of collapsing. “You need to rest up, Suguru.”
“Yeah, let's go to sleep. I just want to hold you tonight,” he says, you wrap your arm around him once you lay down, he feels a little thinner than usual. There is not enough space on your bed for the two of you, you lay slightly on top of him, and neither of you complain about the cramped space. It’s not the first time he’s slept with you. Suguru really only holds you tonight, calloused and strong hands don’t roam, his fingers don’t dip underneath your shirt or waistband. He holds you tightly, so tightly, it’s too hot, and you find it hard to breathe, yet you don’t complain about it, pushing yourself closer into his embrace. Suguru’s presence has always been so soothing, the way he holds you in his arms makes you feel okay once again, lulling you to sleep as your worries vanish back into the sea, the sharks can’t reach you from here.
You wake to an empty bed, his side has been cold for a long time. You don’t see or hear from Suguru for the rest of summer. You receive a postcard or souvenir in the mail like you usually do every few weeks. Mid-august, humidity high, and you can hardly breathe in the heat, and you hear about the murder of the Getō family. Mr. and Mrs. Getō were murdered in their living room during the silent night. Their son, Getō Suguru has gone missing. Whispers seep through the cracks of the concrete saying he is the main suspect — the parents were murdered by their own son. Getō Suguru, your precious childhood friend, killed his own parents. You choke on the summer air and throw up.
None of your messages or calls go through. You are met with the same automated reply. Suguru is gone, and Satoru never replies to you.
Winter seems to come early this year.
—
A knock on your window wakes you up in the middle of the night, the sound of pebbles gently hitting against the screen, and you frown as you slowly force yourself up. You already know who the culprits are.
You open it as quietly as you can to not wake your parents, as you glare at them. Suguru smiles at you sheepishly. “We can’t end the summer without fireworks,” he says, Satoru stands behind him widely grinning, holding up his hands to reveal senko hanabi sparklers.
And you find it hard to stay mad, you weren’t mad in the first place, just annoyed that you were woken up in the middle of the night. You break out into a smile, telling them to wait for you as you change into some clothes.
Sneaking past your parents’ bedroom and out of the house is easy, you’ve done it many times in the past, tonight is no different.
“Why did you wake me up to light fireworks? It’s not the end of summer yet,” you yawn into your hand and Satoru quietly laughs, his hand reaches over to touch your hair.
“It is with you,” Satoru replies, “you’ve got bedhead.”
“Oh. You guys are going back soon, I forgot about that,” you try not to sound sad while saying this, saying goodbye to Suguru every time he visits always leaves you feeling blue. “And it’s because you two woke me up!” you exclaim, swatting his hand away.
“Geez, who sleeps during the summer? You’re supposed to be staying up late and having fun.”
“I do…”
“Need your beauty sleep, huh, princess?”
“Maybe you should try it sometime, Satoru.”
Suguru tells you he will visit you again soon, that he will send you gifts, you always tell him you don’t need them, but he insists, and you always check the mailbox in anticipation. Every gift, postcard, and handwritten letter is kept safe in a box hidden beneath your bed.
Far past midnight and the village sleeps so silently, walking to your secret spot feels a little slower than usual, a way that is relaxing. A blanket of stars keeping the dark sky company, black with hints of dark blue and purple, similar to Suguru’s eyes; when you look long enough, you will find yourself lost and comforted, a pretty shade of the darkest violet holding you. In the distance the moon is shining brightly, its reflection ripples within the crashing waves.
“Suguru, pass me your lighter,” Satoru says, reaching a hand out as his other hand opens the box of firework sticks. Suguru reaches into his loose pockets, taking out a silver lighter, passing it off into Satoru’s hand.
You grab an incense stick each as Satoru lights them, crouching down on the rock, waiting for the molten ball to form, once it does, the fire flower begins to bloom underneath you. The fireworks illuminate Satoru’s face, the orange sparks dance a heavy tune with the blue stars within his eyes.
You remember Suguru had told you about a special boy in their world — someone so special that the world sits beneath his feet. Everything about Satoru is so ethereal in their world, and you, an outsider, can tell. From the way his eyes shine and how he breathes, Satoru draws everything towards him, but there is something about him that seems so far out of reach.
“I feel like these used to be a lot brighter, prettier, back when we were kids,” you say, watching the fireball slowly making its way to your fingers, the sparks of little shooting stars burning the image into your mind.
Satoru replies, “I think sparklers are still pretty, they’re the beauty of summer.”
You know Suguru is someone special, too, because that special boy is smiling and playing around with him so effortlessly. Suguru is reflected in those ocean eyes of his, shining ever so brightly, brighter than the fireworks and stars above, from his thin brows to his soft lips, everything lovely in between, and like Suguru always does, he chases after the wave and drowns.
(Satoru stands up to spin the sparklers, running wild in the night as he spells out his name and vulgar shapes which makes the three of you burst out laughing. When his back is turned as he looks for the lighter to light some more, Suguru’s shadow engulfs your shadow whole, he presses a swift kiss to your lips, and Satoru notices, he always does, he can see everything, the sparklers in Suguru’s hands burn out without any of you noticing, the fire has long burnt out. Satoru never noticed the remains of ashes piled up below.)
You wish this summer would never end.
However, like all things do, it ends for you the next day when the sun peeks through the horizon, they are on the train back to Tokyo.
—
You are eighteen left alone in Tokyo. Satoru barely calls you, his visits are even rarer, it’s been over two weeks since he had last shown up. He is busy, he always says this, and you believe him.
You are eighteen, trying your best to survive in the big city of Tokyo, the roads are busy, full, too wide, you find yourself getting lost in the crowd. Your hands are becoming colder, summer is not coming around, nerves bite away at the remains of your broken heart, unable to find the missing piece. You take a deep breath, telling yourself you are okay, that you’ve got this, you are used to surviving on your own.
Everything will be okay, you repeat again and again.
—
That day and the following ones were a blur; they still are and Satoru can barely recall it, memories play out hazy and tinted dark gray, almost the darkest shade of black.
(Explain yourself… Suguru!)
Even with the words spilling from Suguru’s mouth, Satoru finds it hard to believe in them. To believe in Suguru’s cruelty. Suguru is warmer than everyone he has ever met; his soul shines brighter than everyone he has ever known.
(Are you the strongest because you’re Gojō Satoru?)
Satoru doesn’t understand how it started, when it all started, but he does know. It started in Okinawa, right when they flew back to Tokyo, once they entered past the bright red torii gates, a blade slashed through his chest.
How could Suguru not spare his own parents? He spared you. His parents were sweet, always smiling, dull eyes, warm food, loving—they were (were they?). They treated them nicely when Satoru visited two summers ago, they asked him about school and cooked warm meals to eat, everything was so unfamiliar and foreign, like things he has seen on television.
(Or are you Gojō Satoru because you’re the strongest?)
How could Suguru leave him behind like that? A blade twisted through his heart, a deep scar remains on his chest, a reminder of the day and ones to follow.
And you. The smile of summer morphs into one belonging to a girl much younger than you, to Suguru, who smiles ever so tenderly under the shining sun.
(If you want to kill me, kill me. There’s meaning in that too.)
There is no meaning in any of that. Those words trapped within his throat, unable to spill to a boy who refuses to listen.
Satoru needs to see you again. He needs to see you now.
—
“How is life in Tokyo?” Satoru asks you as he sits across from you at the table of a new café. The strawberry shortcake in front of him is already half-eaten, and the waitress comes over to deliver the strawberry parfait he had ordered a few minutes ago.
“Tokyo… It's really different. You said to come with you to Tokyo and then you ditched me,” you jokingly reply, before taking a sip of your matcha latte. You can understand why it is so popular, everything is made up of the best quality here, and only the best.
“Mhm, bet it’s better than that tiny village. It is, huh?”
You nod in agreement, it is better, even though you can’t help but feel anxious, like a shark is chasing after you and only in the deepest pit of the ocean. “I decided to try and become a teacher…” you say. What you really wanted to do was become a counsellor or something similar for children, but you aren’t so sure if you would be good at it, if your fragile heart would be enough.
“We are so similar,” you look up when he says this, he is smiling at you as he leans his head on his palm. “I’m gonna become a teacher too. For people like me, though.”
A teacher. Satoru wants to become a teacher — he will become one, a confirmed future. You never knew he was interested in something like that, however, you know you don’t know Satoru well enough to judge. “We are. It must be the work of fate,” you say.
“That’s right, it’s the work of a young god,” he goes along with your little joke, shivers run down you, you drink your now cooled latte. You should’ve finished drinking it while it was still hot.
Satoru promises he will see you again soon, you smile, holding onto his empty promise.
—
Empty promises always remain empty. You don’t hold it against Satoru, that is just how he is. He still calls you from time to time, and you find yourself becoming too busy, drowning into your studies.
—
The next time you see Satoru is months later when he is sitting outside your doorstep despite knowing the passcode, he has the original copy of the key, too. He’s drenched from the rain, his white hair sticking to face, hidden eyes. His hair has grown out a bit over the months, messy and unkempt.
“Satoru, you should’ve let yourself inside…” you quietly say as you unlock the door, Satoru stands up, towering over you, yet he seems smaller than usual today. He only replies that he was waiting for you to come home.
You ask him if he’s hungry, you have leftover miso soup from this morning, and some ingredients to make chicken katsu (you don’t mention that you had eaten with a new co-worker earlier). You suggest he takes a hot shower so he doesn’t get sick, he remarks saying he has never fallen ill before, making his way into the bathroom.
Your mattress is much bigger than you are used to, a queen size bed, there’s so much space, yet Satoru is pressed up behind you, his arm wrapped around your waist as he keeps you close. You assume Satoru will be sleeping here tonight. It’s been a long time since you last slept beside someone, you remember the night so distinctly, as if it was yesterday.
And Satoru holds you so, so, so gently, it’s rather uncharacteristic of him, not like the Satoru you know. So tenderly if you closed your eyes an image of a face you haven’t forgotten would be there and you blink away the tears that want to form within your eyes. You think, his hands are too light, you can barely feel the callouses and constellations of little scars. His hand trails up your thin shirt, rubbing light circles against your skin, on your waist and beneath your breasts. Satoru holds you in a way that feels wrong, in a way you both know he shouldn’t — in a way he wouldn’t if he were here. However, he doesn’t stop, and you don’t stop him.
You turn over, meeting his eyes. The little stars in his eyes are crying to be seen. You lift a hand to his cheek, gently brushing the strand of hair that sits too close to his eyes, and Satoru only watches you silently. It remains like this for a moment, you carefully holding his face, warm and pink from the hot water that drenched his skin, his hand wrapped around you, travelling up and down your back, tracing little circles as he feels your soft skin against his hand.
“I used to wish to know his lips,” he whispers ever so quietly, those vacant eyes of his glimmering in the darkness of your bedroom as he flickers from your lips to your eyes. “The taste of them, the feeling… Sometimes, I still do,” he sounds a little sad as he says this, but he’s smiling, and you can’t help but smile sadly, too.
Satoru wants to kiss you too, you can feel it in the way he looks at you, you can feel it in the air. You expect Satoru to kiss you first, to close the distance between you, he leans in first, his lips are on yours, slowly moving against yours.
You were fifteen when Suguru had stolen a bottle of your mother’s favourite whiskey and the two of you had spent the afternoon in his room, door locked, the liquid burning your mouth and throat, cheeks flushed red, Suguru’s intense gaze slowly consuming you. He asked you if you ever kissed someone before, a question you both know the answer to, and you get annoyed thinking he is teasing you. He is quick to reassure you that isn’t the case. Maybe it’s the liquor running in your veins, because he leans in to kiss you, a small peck before he pulls back, a moment of awkward silence lasting only a few seconds, before he kisses you again. One with less hesitation.
You remember the taste, something you don’t like, to this day you still don’t so you avoid whiskey, but you loved the feeling of Suguru’s lips on yours. Shy and giggly, teeth grazing, nose bumping. Trying to search for a proper pace, clammy hands awkwardly trying to find a place to settle.
Kissing Satoru doesn’t feel like that. He kisses you so slowly, deeply, you feel every movement and it tingles through your body and soul. Everything fades around you, all you can think and feel is his lips. His tongue swipes across your bottom lip and you softly gasp, pulling away for air, breathing heavily.
“Are you scared?” Satoru asks once you pull away from him, his breathing matches yours, his breath fans your face, a sweet scent lingers in the air. Like strawberry candies, sugary sweet, artificially sweet, Satoru’s favourite.
“No,” you breathlessly reply.
He chuckles, teasing you as he says, “your heart is beating really fast, though.”
“I-I know that…” you murmur, feeling shy and embarrassed, as if he doesn’t know you can feel how hard your heart is beating, how fast it races in this moment. It’s your heart, you know her better than anyone in the world.
“Mine is beating, too, princess,” he says, before flipping the two of you over, giving you no time to reply, you are caged between him, his pure white hair lightly brushing against your face. Lust fogging over his eyes as stares down at you, gray and blue. Matching everything around you. “Let’s take our time tonight, yeah?” Your arms wrap around his neck, pulling him down, linking your legs around his thin waist.
Lonely fingers woven together, he holds you so close, hearts intertwined, and kisses so intimately and intensely, you feel so wanted and loved by this boy who is known as a god in a world you do not know. A world you will never see. Kissing Satoru makes you feel like you’re not alone in the world. This is plenty, it is enough for you, you don’t want anything else, except for this. Only Satoru. You whisper this lie to your yearning heart.
—
“‘Toru? Wait, are you leaving?” you hastily ask while you watch him throw on his white dress shirt, the red lines on his back disappearing, your cheeks warm at the vivid memory, you feel shy, pressing your thighs together. You pull the covers higher as you sit up on the bed.
“Mhm, can’t stay tonight,” you pout at his words, feeling disappointed in him, Satoru knows your next question before you say it. “I’ve got kids at home to watch over,” he simply says, and you huff a small laugh at his joke.
“Huh? Did you take in some pets or something?” Satoru has always been fond of strays, you remember those times when he used to try to call over the wandering cats around your village and attempt to pet them, yet they only ran towards Suguru before disappearing into the bushes. Satoru would always get annoyed and pout about it, saying something about how his Pokémon on his gameboy would never do this to him.
Satoru lowly hums, “yeah, somethin’ like that. They’re so tiny, I think they didn’t eat much until I took them in. I gave them some cash, so hopefully they ordered themselves some fresh sushi or something for dinner… Is ten thousand yen enough for two kids?”
“Oh? Wait, you are serious… Satoru, you are taking care of actual kids? What, why?” you say in disbelief. You haven’t seen Satoru in months and he drops by unannounced, sleeping with you, and then tells you he’s leaving to go take care of some kids at his house. Actual kids, human kids.
The information slowly processes through your brain, you have so many questions on the tip of your tongue that you know if they spill, Satoru would never answer them. You decide to swallow them down.
“It was a request. A last one. I felt like I should grant it since nobody else can.” Nobody else but me, his unsaid thoughts are loud. So loud, your heart shakes, you slowly swallow.
Satoru turns around to look at you as he buttons the last button on his shirt and leans down to plant a wet kiss on your cheek which makes you scrunch up your face. “Maybe you can meet ‘em one day, you said you’re good with kids, right?”
You slowly nod your head, not really sure what to say, even by your lack of response, Satoru smiles. “Great. They’re still so shy, so one day. Soon,” he says, softly kissing your lips before he leaves, the feeling feels so faint.
Your bedroom door clicks with a shut. Even with you, his back still seems so lonely, as if the weight of the world sits on his shoulders.
Down the hall, you can’t hear his footsteps, everything about Satoru acts light. His footsteps. His breathing. Everything except his heavy presence, that is how you know he is there. Until he isn’t, and you hear the echo of a faint click of your front door being shut. Silence consumes the empty home and you’re left to sleep alone once again.
—
Turning twenty didn’t change anything. Neither did turning twenty-four, nor twenty-five. If anything, sometimes you feel more lost now than you did at eighteen, you thought you knew the world at sixteen. You are grown, yet sometimes it feels as if your physical appearance is the only thing about you that has changed.
It took a few years, but now you are used to the bright lights that never go out and the busy streets with crowds that never split. You love Tokyo, and all of the new things you have never experienced or seen before, you’ve grown used to living here. However, every once in a while, a memory of that village hits you so hard and the cracks in your heart begin to widen once again, just when you were able to put it back together again. A type of sadness that always lingers within you, settling behind your ribs, deeply in a place you could ever reach, and all you can go is try to pretend it isn’t there. Even in the middle of this city, sometimes you swear the scent of the ocean passes you by, you always remember Suguru in those moments, and shead a few tears.
You feel Satoru’s presence before you hear or see him, you hate it when he randomly appears in your apartment like this, you always tell him to use the front door like a normal person.
“Well, don’t you look so pretty today.” You smile when you hear this as he pulls you into a hug and you feel his hand running through your hair, causing you to glance up in confusion. “Why is your hair shining? Hmm, is this glitter?” he asks, his index finger in between both of you as a little sparkle shines against it, causing you to deeply inhale.
“One of the kids was playing around with glitter and got it in my hair, spent all night washing it out,” you explain, feeling frustrated all over again. “Is there still a lot? I thought I got all of it out…”
“There’s still some left.”
“What, where?” you ask, automatically lifting your hand to your hair, patting around for a feel for tiny pieces of plastic. “Help me, Satoru,” you plead, seeing him just stand there watching you.
Satoru leans down, his face right in front of yours as he grins, “they’re in your eyes, princess,” he whispers, pressing a chaste kiss to your eyelid. You huff at his words, biting down on your growing smile, unable to stop the blush rushing to your cheeks.
You lightly shove him away from you, asking, “why are you here?”
“I can’t come and see you without a reason?”
“Really, tell me why,” you insist on him coming over for a reason, you know he did.
“I want to go on a little trip with you,” he admits.
“I have work on Monday,” you reply, jabbing your finger into his toned chest, “and you do, too. No slacking off.”
“I know, I know. That was only once—”
“More than once,” you correct.
“Yes… more than once, you’re right, but it’s only for tonight,” he says, taking your hand in his. “Just for one night. Come with me?”
And you agree, the two of you already knew your answer from the very beginning, an answer destined from the beginning.
He takes you to Yokohama, only an hour away, he rents a free room in the hotel with the best view of the city, and takes you out to eat your favourite foods. By evening, he’s dragging you along, you try to keep up with his long strides, mentally cursing him and his long legs.
He takes you all the way to the pier, an overlook of the small beach, nothing compared to the one you grew up in. It smells of seaweed, and you can see across the water here, the sun slowly sets in the distance, an orange and red sky reflected in the water, your eyes feel heavy the more you sink into the view. Satoru never lets go of your hand, his steady hand holds yours firmly.
The younger you could never imagine herself in your position. Into the deep city, older with an ordinary job, watching a pretty sunset at an average beach. A younger you could never imagine herself living a life without Suguru in it. Many things have changed. Some things remain the same. Your feelings have never changed. The ocean always stays the same, it always will, and there’s a comforting feeling in knowing this.
You quietly sigh, feeling the need for a cigarette. His lucky cigarette. You long for the familiar bitter smell that you once used to hate.
Satoru only stares at the crashing waves. Unable to tear his eyes away from it; those eyes of his have always belonged to the sea. To the blue sky. To their youth. And there is no doubt that he’s thinking of Suguru right now. You know this because whenever you are by the sea, you can’t help, but think of him, too.
—
From a young age, Suguru comes to realise he is a small fish in a big pond. The world around him is much bigger than the cage he swims in. He grows more insecure when he comes to realise his family is different from others; that he is different from others.
He has always been sensitive to his surroundings. Sensitive to his mother’s silent presence and wishes, to every action and expression his father made and everything around him. For a long time he believed this village was haunted, that one day ghosts emerged from the sea and haunted him and the townsfolk. After all, he swore he was always being watched, every one of his actions was being judged and digested. And when he told his father that, his father laughed and said he didn’t think Suguru would believe his words for so long. He was only trying to scare him.
However, this feeling never goes away. The black shadow beneath his bed greets him every night with a snicker, hiding beneath the blanket causes the laughter to become louder, louder, until it screeches, like the sound of a nail running across a chalkboard piercing his ears, refusing to become muffled as he covers his head with his old pillow.
He is eleven when he sneaks out of his house at midnight, he finds it hard to breathe in there, desperately needing fresh air, and he meets you wandering along the empty dirt road. All alone. He knows of you, you are from the class next door, he has seen you walking in the hallway a few times. Apparently, you don’t get along with your classmates, rumours travel fast in this village through hushed whispers and mocking snickers, the stars this time are about your mother and father, and caught up in between the clashing meteors is you. In a way, you are similar to him, your eyes have a sadness to them that no child should have, however your smile is soft and warm, and Suguru can’t help, but feel drawn to you.
You bring him to the sea; walking across the shoreline to a little corner behind an area hidden by a bunch of huge rocks that you call your secret spot. You tell him it belongs to him now, too. A secret corner in this little big world only for the two of you. There’s a white fin he can see in the distance, the shark doesn’t make its way closer to shore. Suguru looks over to you, you’re looking across the vast sea so yearningly, the stars are twinkling in your eyes.
(He wishes he asked what you were looking at so beautifully.)
Suguru wishes he could go home, but he can’t, unable to run to the little safety corner at the end of the world. Not now. Everything around him is burning blue, he’s drowning himself in the screams and curses of hundreds of strangers, his hands are dripping crimson red. Everything is blue. Bright blue like the summer sky and glistening sea. Blue eyes. White hair. Carefree smile. Little white sundress and your innocent laughter muffled between the haunting cries. Splattered blood. Drifting white headband. A celebration for the dead. A cage for the living. The sound of clapping echoes within the crackling. It snaps, then pops.
Suguru can’t go home. Nowhere is home. Everything around him is burning blue. So blue, and he’s being consumed by the fire. He accepts this as his fate, he has to.
—
“Hm? Not in the water today?”
Sprawled out like a starfish, Suguru lays on the sand, where the water meets the sand, eyes closed and peaceful.
When there’s no reply, Satoru pouts, plopping down to lay beside him. He calls out his name, wanting attention, awaiting a response as he stares at him. Suguru doesn’t turn his head to meet his eyes, he just lays there, so listless, and Satoru softly sighs, a small smile gracing his face despite feeling a little annoyed. He closes his eyes, the sound of ocean waves crashing, cicadas calling out from the high branches in the distance and the seagulls' low mews create a summer melody.
“I’m listening to the waves,” he says, and Satoru smiles in amusement.
“From here?”
Suguru hums a reply and Satoru parrots it. Listening to the waves. How stupidly poetic, he thinks to himself, chuckling at how cute and childish Suguru can be. A hidden side of Suguru that is so endearing as it is entertaining.
The way the waves crash onto the shore — rather gently, reaching the brim of his jeans and Satoru hates it. He doesn’t understand how Suguru is fine with the water soaking his clothes and the sand that sticks onto their skin and hair. The water is strangely warm as well, adding to his annoyance.
“Do you have any dreams, Satoru?”
“What’s yours?” he asks.
“I asked first,” he knows Suguru is rolling his eyes, however, Suguru is kind enough to not push, he says, “I think one of my dreams came true already. I wanted to get out of here for a long time.”
One of his dreams. What are his other dreams? What does he dream of? Yet, instead of all the thoughts that shoot through his brain, Satoru finds himself asking about you. “What about her?”
Are you one of Suguru’s dreams? He needs to know.
“I am waiting for her in Tokyo,” Suguru says this in a way that Satoru is familiar with. Too familiar. Suguru calls out his name like this. “Once I graduate and make money from these missions, I will take her out of this place and bring her home.”
Satoru thought Suguru liked this place since he keeps coming back, maybe it is only to see you, and his parents. Maybe in this seaside village, Suguru only likes it here, this little part of the beach where nobody goes. It’s not so bad here, just a little lame, and very boring, but Satoru wouldn’t mind staying here with Suguru. And you, much to his surprise.
“I think she may wait for you for a long time. I took a peek at your bank account and—”
“Hey, why did you look at that?! Don’t snoop through other peoples’ belongings, has nobody taught you that? You are jinxing it for me.”
Satoru repeats his words in a mocking tone, earning a sharp elbow to his rib, a loud and painful groan escapes his throat.
“I was just joking! Really, I am!”
In a few days, they will fly to Okinawa. A pretty island that Satoru hasn’t seen before and he doesn’t know the exact details yet, Yaga hasn’t said anything, but he knows the mission will be one with Suguru. As expected, the two strongest sorcerers of this generation, it comes to no one’s surprise. It’s hours away from this place, hours away from Tokyo, yet the ocean is vast, reaching far out into the world, connecting right back to where you are.
Right back to the place Suguru had once called home.
#꩜— interstellar communications#jujutsu kaisen#jujutsu kaisen x reader#gojo satoru x reader#geto suguru x reader#gojo satoru#geto suguru#gojo x reader#geto x reader#satosugu x reader
53 notes
·
View notes
Text
tubatu world domination
6 members - 6 active
soobin: do you guys ever think about
beomgyu: no
soobin: damn can i FINISH my STATEMENT
you: to be fair you were typing like a snail
i saw it with my own eyes
kai: i think what you were thinking soobin
soobin: thanks kai
yeonjun: wym 'saw it with my own eyes'
???
YOURE WITH HIM@:@::#*#
PKSIMABOUT TOTHROW UP
you: i told you guys i was gonna go to the mall today ?
beomgyu: guys man or bear hehehhhhehehhhheeh>.<<<<<
taehyun: y/n reply to my dm pls.
yeonjun: WHENE DID YIU TELL US YOU WERE GOING TO THE MALLLLWHY DOES SOOBIN GET TO GO EITH YOU
soobin: because im just cunty like that. lolz
you: @gyu ummm probably bear
beomgyu: HEHHEEHHEH
you want me so bad
kai: what kind of bear
taehyun: y/n?
you: guys isnt that so weird!!! a blank chat keeps popping up!!!???
soobin: your phones probably broken
brokxn like me... 🥀
yeonjun: i could take a bear
beomgyu: no thx
peace and love
but FOK no
kai: why isnt anyone questioning this odd taehyun behavior
you: who behavior?? never heard of it sry
yeonjun: taehyun
like taehyun
your bandmate...
early dementia signs i fear
now ditch soobin lets go get you checked up ^.^
beomgyu: shes upset because tyun said he was too busy to go out with her today
soobin:
taehyun: i really was busy. pdnim called me in for a meeting about the next Academy Reincarnation season.
you: k
soobin: me personally
if i got hit with a k by txts silliest member i would kms
lowk
beomgyu: NAWWWW ME TOOO
yeonjun: i'd get hard idk
kai: can we put him on a speaking ban again
yeonjun: PLSEASEESESESE NOOOOOO
I'KK STOP
PLS
LAST TIME WAS HORRRRIBLE
beomgyu: why hasnt soobin gotten one yet
hes always talking anf talking anf talking and talking
AND HES A NERD LIKE DAMN!!!!!!!!!! PICK A STUGGLE!!!!!!!!!!
soobin: yk youre so nice to me when were alone...
yeonjun: 𝓯𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓴𝔂
kai: 👀
taehyun: y/n reply to me me and i'll buy you whatever you want from prada
you: im their ambassador you twat
taehyun: right, yes sorry i forgot
how about i bring you flowers and [your favourite food] to the dorm later?
you: deal
kai: HEY WTF ITS THST EASY?
the last time you were mad at me you didnt talk to me for a whole SIX HOURS EVEN AFTER I APOLOGISED ON MY KNEES
beomgyu: guys if you weren't already an idol under bighit which bts member would you date
you: all 7
taehyun: jungkook
soobin: jin
no wait hobi lowkey
he's a cutie
beomgyu: you have to choose ONE y/n
yeonjun: jimin or tae
kook is cool but i probably wouldn't be able to handle his fans
you: no ur so right actually
i could not handle dating another idol LMFAOO
soobin: ????
wdym i spoke with ur mum already
she gave me her blessings
we can date :3
even as idols
heheheheh
you: she did not
soobin: did tooooooo
you: nuh uh
when did you even meet her
taehyun: he's lying
i was there
yeonjun: hahaha liar liar pants on fire
you: when the hell did you guys meet my mom
kai: well SOMEONE left us on a cliffhanger last week and didn't tell us who she was dating
so we did the next best thing...
you: SAYYYT YOURE FUCKING WITH ME RIGHT NOW OMG
IS THAT WHY MY MOTHER HAS BEEN SPAMMING MY PHONE ABOUT "COMING HOME FOR KIMCHI" ?
CAUSE SHE KNOWS I DONT EVEN FW KIMCHI LIKE THAT
yeonjun:yea!!!!!!! tell them queen!!!!!!!
why did you guys not invite me.
fake fucks.
you: WHAT DID SHE EVEN SAY
soobin: something about how she thought you were a lesbian so she doesn't even know what we're talking about
you: well
shes not half wrong
taehyun: anywho she did NOT give ANY blessings to anyone
however she did say that you were getting older and needed to get more serious about future planning cause all you put your effort into is work
soobin: that was basically her speaking in maternal code for "hey you can marry my daughter once contracts are terminated" trust me id know
kai: maternal code?
soobin: yep
im an expert
beomgyu: what the fuck does that even mean
soobin:
taehyun: sometimes i wonder about the state of your mental wellbeing
soobin: you just need to match my 𝓯𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓴
you wouldn't get it.
yeonjun: taehyun gets our freak soobin 💯
he's the one who suggested recording the killa with our shirts off..
fucking freak
you: i suggested that actually :3 but tyun suggested the lights off for tinnitus
yeonjun: Y/N MY PRETTY PRINCESS QUEEN DARLING DEAR I DIDNT MEAN IT I SWEAR THAT WAS THE BESSSSSST SUGGESTION EVER THANK YOU FOR SAYING THAT IM SORRY
beomgyu: you make me sick
beomgyu left tubatu world domination
kai: never a moment of peace in this household…
A/N: this has been marinating in my drafts and i HATE it but i need to get rid of it 🤔🤔🙏🏼💯🔥 pls accept this scrap cause i may be a little burnt out 😭😭🤣🤣😜👊
#tomorrow x together#txt#soobibabe#taehyun#kpop#beomgyu#kang taehyun#soobin#choi beomgyu#choi yeonjun#soobin smau#tomorrow x together smau#txt smau#kpop smau#smau#kai#hyuka#hueningkai#choi soobin#gc
36 notes
·
View notes
Note
Hello! I just read your recent post on the lin Kuei trio trying to bring back the reader's memories after it has been tainted and was wondering if you could do part 2 where the trio finally succeeded in restoring the reader's memories?
I haven’t seen those movies in awhile but I googled it and apparently only therapy can help? I went off what Google said. No gifs cause I got lazy. I ain’t even finna lie to you
Bi-Han doesn't show it, but he's in so much pain
It's not because everytime you see him, you try to kill him
If hating him for the rest of your life meant that you'd be happy, he'd take it
But you're not happy. It's not a bad breakup and you hate him but at least you're living life. No. You have insane PTSD from the torture you endured
When he's told that the only way to help you is therapy, he's a tad bit irritated
Therapy takes too long. He wishes he could fight some enemies, use some magic, then boom. Everything's okay
Speaking of those enemies though, he's definitely tracking them down and killing them
He finds it difficult to watch your therapy sessions so he distracts himself with duties
After a few failed tests, you're finally able to be in the same room as him without trying to kill him
When he sees you look at him with love instead of hatred, all his tension is released
Your memories are still a little wonky but you're healed enough to know that they're manipulated
He's more than happy to tell you what really happened and make new memories with you
He's more soft afterwards because he's afraid of triggering you
It takes a lot of work but he's willing to do all of it if it means you'll be okay with him holding you again
Seeing you be so terrified of him is like a living nightmare
It's such a difficult situation because there's no easy way to help you
It's not like a broken bone. You've been made to fear him and your memories are tainted
Therapy is the only thing that can help you
It takes a while, and he hates it
He's told to avoid face to face contact with you during your recovery
So he watches you sneakily
He watches you rediscover your memories day by day
When you ask to see him, he's a bit nervous, but he knows that that means progress has been made
He lets you set the pace of the conversation
Whenever there's silence, he doesn't try to fill it. He knows you need the time to gather your thoughts
Your hand is shaky when you reach for him. He wants to try and close the space but he doesn't. He lets you take your time reaching for his hand
When you finally touch it feels like weights have been lifted off his shoulders
You're not 100% healed but you're making great progress. You being able to stand being around him is such a huge thing to him
He helps you whenever you get confused and is extremely patient with you
Definitely believes you'll make a full recovery
After the first encounter and you trying to kill him, nobody could blame him for becoming depressed
You were extremely volatile towards him
Anytime you saw him you immediately tried to attack him
When he's told therapy is the only thing that can help you, he wants to be hopeful but it's hard to
Therapy takes time and there's no guarantee it'll even work
He sends you gifts during your recovery. Sometimes he won't sign it so you're more willing to accept it
Exposure therapy exhausts him, but he keeps doing it for you
One day though your demeanor is different
You don't rush at him or tell him to get out
You're quiet and still. He lets the silence stay
“I don't know what's real and what's not anymore”
“You're trying” he'd say. “That's all that matters. And I'll help you”
It gets quiet again
You walk over to him, and instead of attacking him, you pull him into a tight embrace
It takes him a moment to understand what's happening. Once he does, he hugs you back
“You loved me. Real or fake?”
“I love you, and it's all real”
You two just stay like that for a while. He has no idea what's going on in your head, but in his he's ecstatic
There was hope. As long as there was a hope, even a sliver of it, he wouldn't give up on you
He stays by your side the entire time. Watching you slowly but surely go out of your way to be around him excites him
He has tons of pictures and he shows you them and explains what happened whenever you get confused
He's delighted to have you back
#mk1#mk1 2023#mortal kombat 1#bi han sub zero#bi han#kuai liang scorpion#kuai liang#kuai liang mk1#tomas vrbada smoke#bi han mortal kombat#bi han x reader#bi han headcanons#subzero headcannons#subzero x reader#bi han angst#kuai liang angst#kuai liang headcanons#kuai liang x reader#scorpion angst#mk1 tomas vrbada#tomas vrbada headcanons#tomas vrbada x reader#tomas vrbada#tomas vrbada angst#smoke angst#mk1 angst
39 notes
·
View notes
Note
Not sure if you have done this before, but thoughts on Itachi?
Hi there! Uf, tough question with a lot of chances of bringing us hate, but, let's be brave! As a very obvious disclaimer, please bear in mind that you can love a character and still justify none of its actions. And that trying to understand what led someone to do something is by no means equal to trying to justify them.
Itachi committed a monstrous action exterminating his clan, there is no denying that. Still, I refuse to dump all the blame on him because he was used as a mere tool to fulfil the genocidal plans of Konoha's oligarchy. This issue was extensively discussed before in way more eloquent ways than I ever could so, I will just point out that Itachi was a traumatized child, educated in violence, trained for violence and encouraged to master his talent for violence by literally everyone in his life. Violence was his only tool, the only thing he was good at, and the only means to solve problems in the world he lived in.
He was given an impossible choice and he had to decide quickly and under duress. He was gifted, but still a child, and thus immature. He had obviously no capacity or possibility to solve such a conflict. He was given a choice of killing his clan quietly or risking a catastrophe that would lead to his brother's death (or, rather, he was straight out threatened with the assassination of his little brother by the village's leadership). Now, I of course believe such things were nonsense and that the uprising of the Uchiha didn't necessarily have to lead to a war. And, even if it did, there were plenty other means to avoid it. I also would have taken my brother with me and run, let hell unleash or whatever, before harming a single member of my family. But I am not a manipulated child soldier growing under a military regime that has traumatized me with war and brainwashed me since birth, so, what do I know.
I think I also take issue with Itachi being solely and mainly blamed for the massacre, because it personalizes in him an oppression that was systemic. The leadership of Konoha was determined to exterminate the Uchiha and had been establishing the bases for a genocide for at least two generations. The Uchiha had been racially profiled, discriminated, denied of civil rights, physically segregated, kept under surveillance, relegated to a specific job, and pseudoscientific theories had been formulated to justify their inadequacy for leadership as an excuse to exclude them from political decisions and important roles in the village they co-founded. Tobirama's political heirs in the council happily proposed a genocide with petty opposition form the highest political authority, with the sole excuse of keeping all power to themselves. Using Itachi, a member of the oppressed group, to do the dirty job for them, is just an additional level of atrocity. Having Itachi embody all the evilness is, I believe, a misinterpretation of the whole issue here and also kind of victim blaming.
In this line, I would like to point out something that I believe is important: Itachi won nothing from the massacre. He obtained no privilege, no reward at al. He remained excluded and powerless, he took all the blame and all the bad consequences, suffered an illness in silence and with no help from Konoha, and died as a villain getting nothing in return but hope that his brother would survive the vultures that would be forever after him. While the orchestrators of the genocide kept their power and privileges and took no damage, and even got to have the sole survivors of the Uchiha serving them like loyal pawns. I think it is easy to figure out who is really to blame and who is just an alienated useful tool.
Having said that, I don't think he was retconed, but, as a criticism for the creators, I believe they overdid his evil phase a bit. There is little justification for the torture he inflicted on Kakashi (I am not too sorry for him, I just think that 5 minutes of genjutsu torture would have been enough for Itachi to maintain his bad guy cover, he didn't need 72 hours unless he had a true personal reason for punishing him) or for torturing his little brother twice (I can see he wanted to make sure he was hated, but there were other ways, he certainly went too far). No wonder some fans believe he was retconed taking these things into account. I can only interpret that, after all the violence he went through, Itachi was sort of desensitized to it. Still, he left his brother, the person he loved most in the world, severely incapacitated (only Tsunade was able to heal him, and Itachi couldn't have foreseen that she would go back to Konoha. Had he not enough experience with Tsukuyomi and severely underestimated its consequences?). There is little explanation for this.
Now, what I find really curious and disappointing here, is that the narrative could never allow Itachi to acknowledge that the Uchiha were right or, at least, that the genocide was unjustifiable. But he is a good guy so, of course he has to show remorse. So, he is certainly suffering from what he did, he loved his family and feels extremely remorseful. But, for being so clever, he regrets absurd things. "I tried to do everything alone", well, Itachi, you were alone and that was not your fault. Is not like you could summon your anbu colleagues and propose a poll to decide what you should do with Danzo's orders. "I was arrogant", like, when did that happen? "I treated you like a child", well, because, he was a child? "I should have involved you, you could have changed the Uchiha" really? involve a 7 year old child? sure he would have been able to convince his family to just endure, why not. All so he wouldn't say the quiet part out loud. Konoha was a genocidal regime and the sole wrong thing here was annihilating the Uchiha, which he did because he was given no choice and, as a child, he was incapable of finding another way. That was probably asking too much of this story, where the military dictators are basically the good guys and their moral is sacrificing their family for the state.
Another funny thing I would like to mention is how Itachi talks about the Uchiha in the edo tensei arc. I talked about this before, but it is as if he was fed and believed all possible nonsensical Uchiha-hating stories:
I understand the message we are trying to convey here. The Uchiha were power-thirsty mean people, see, the genocide was justified. But it doesn't make sense. Assuming every person has two sharingans (Danzo and his sick experiments aside), there is zero possibility for that "endless reworkings" situation. Also, the Uchiha needed a jutsu to keep themselves humble and honorable, because the izanagi was so dishonorable (we only saw it used once in a repetitive, sick way in canon, and it was by Danzo, but whatever). As if the Uchiha are the ones that need to keep their humbleness in check because they have tendencies to do megalomaniac things like hoarding power, accumulating and trading with mass destruction weapons, carving their faces in stone, or commissioning crazy big statues to commemorate their victorious fights. Even when stating that the Uchiha created a jutsu themselves to solve a problem they had among themselves and that never threatened any outsider, they are presented as some irrational, greedy people.
So, in conclusion, Itachi could have been wrong and biased, but he very clearly did not want to be the execution hand of a genocide, he did not hate his clan and he deeply loved his family. But sadly, we have to admit, he was strongly manipulated by Konoha's nationalistic bullshit and died twice with intact and convinced loyalty for Konoha. There is no denying that. However, I take issue when he is framed as a soulless Konoha bootlicker, because he was ready to leak any information he had on Konoha should they do anything to Sasuke, ready to help enemy nations and unleash the war and bloodshed he was trying to avoid with the massacre. He was canonically doing everything to ensure Sasuke's safety, not for Konoha.
In summary, for me, Itachi is a complex character whose contradictions are left unresolved in the narrative because the deranged moral of the story is, sadly, that there are circumstances where a genocide can be justified. And still, I can't help but love this character, mostly because Sasuke loves him so greatly. And Itachi was ready to give up everything for Sasuke, even Konoha and the whole ninja world. I like to believe that this is evidence that the "will of fire" cult didn't win completely with him, and that, ever after betraying his clan, he still kept some of that unfathomable and unconditional love for his family that Konoha could not tolerate in the Uchiha.
#ask#spookyphilosophertaco#anti Konoha#pro Itachi#anti Itachi#yeah I am not sure what it is#so I want to avoid haters from both sides#long post#sorry
22 notes
·
View notes
Text
.
#word vomit alert!!!!!#i love solo trips out bc i get to do whatever i like without having to make conversation with people but omg.......#this trip has evoked alarming levels of loneliness and melancholy for some reason#maybe it's got something to do with just seeing Too Many People at once... and seeing people live their lives and enjoy company#n then i see myself n while i see an independent carefree person who's at peace with herself there's also a tinge! of! melancholy n pining..#for companionship... for easy conversations... for connections!#i was also listening to Fourever while roaming around aimlessly and when Happy started playing i immediately teared up#i think i just have too many things on my mind djskfksmmdskkd i need to get back to journaling n meditating. too much anxious energy#also during dinner i sat next to a couple who seemed to be on their first date post dating app conversation. n it reminded me of my prev rs#dkfkfnmsfndnmdm i wouldn't call it ptsd bc they were good memories but personally i would most likely never use a dating app ever again.....#it's just too much pain having to talk through icebreakers n get to know each other with the topic of Dating already looming in the bg#n it's just a lot of Work for a first date you know??? anyway i'm tired of relationships. i would love organic platonic companionship tho#like i would love more friends. just not a Partner shdkfjdndndmd#but with that said !!!! it's sometimes lonely being single. but the thing is. there's no company that i'd prefer more than my own#i bring too much joy and peace to myself that i feel like it's almost impossible for anyone to meet those standards#it's very much like that tiktok where op said her app guy asked her who his competition was and she answered: Myself. your competition is me#and that was just the truest thing i've seen#also met an unkind worker at dinner. wasn't directed at me but the energy he gave off was just so Bad that it ruined my evening KDKDJSKDK#like . how can someone be so miserable n unkind n mean to the people around him??? as if they aren't deserving of respect... it boggles me#n so todays trip has been so . strange. i felt sad! witnessed unkindness! i felt a little lonely!#i unknowingly self-reflected a lot n probably spiralled into a rumination cycle! thought abt work n how it seemed like there was No Way Out#but !! it is what it is!!!
3 notes
·
View notes
Text
the thing about me is that having a crush is fun for the first little while and then I just slowly become more and more overcome with insecurity about it
#like yeah he's friendly and nice to me but I know there's no chance. NONE. that it means anything at all.#no way. like there's no way he'd ever see me that way. We Just Work Together#and it sucks because I genuinely do enjoy just being friends with him! like there aren't many people I've met#who I genuinely click with and we get along well like that. and we definitely clicked as friends yknow??#and I'm super glad for that. I just feel so stupid for being in love with him when I'm too loud and too awkward and i fidget too much#and I'm just. not an attractive person on ANY level#so like even having a crush is so unrealistic and I hate that. he's the only guy I've ever genuinely wanted to be with#(beyond a brief infatuation that I knew wouldn't work out i was just kinda caught up in the theater stuff yknow)#like.... UGGGHHHH this is bringing up SO many insecurities bc I genuinely want more than a friendship#and gurt called me out the other day by asking how important it is to me that this particular guy likes me back#and I had to play it down bc it's SO important to me like. WHAT am I supposed to do with this??? he's the only guy#I've ever been able to envision a life with and I KNOW daydreaming like that is probably bad and dumb and I just feel#SO stupid for how I'm feeling about this whole thing and yet. I go to church and work with him and it's just really easy and nice#and we work well together and get along and it's just GOOD#and I want that forever#and idk what God is trying to do here but it's making me feel SO STUPID all the time!!!!!! girl help!!!!!!#Lu rambles
19 notes
·
View notes
Text
EVERYONE WANTS GOJO BACK @ GEGE WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU WAITING FOR 😭😭😭😭
#i mean i know it’s not that easy to bring him out but… for more than thousand days already?????? THAT’S CRAZY AS FUCK MAN#also it’s crazier when you remembered that in order to release him yuuji has to be the exchange like what the fuck man TvT#why does gege mf akutami hate us gojo simps so bad?? not enough with hating gojo- he projected that onto us *cries*#oh please take this as a joke dw im not that serious#jjk
8 notes
·
View notes
Text
despicable
updates as of 22 oct
Travis Dermott knew that he would draw attention with his actions in the Coyotes’ home opener against the Anaheim Ducks at Mullett Arena on Saturday. The Arizona defenseman just hoped that the spotlight might shine on the issue that he was addressing, not on him.
“You don’t really want to go against rules that are put in place by your employer, but there’s some people who took some positive things from it,” Dermott said. “That’s kind of what I’m looking to impact.
“You want to have everyone feel included and that’s something that I have felt passionate about for a long time in my career. It’s not like I just just jumped on this train. It’s something that I’ve felt has been lacking in the hockey community for a while. I feel like we need supporters of a movement like this; to have everyone feel included and really to beat home the idea that hockey is for everyone.”
“I won’t lie,” said Dermott, who is playing on a one-year, two-way contract. “From the outside, it’s easy to see that I’m putting my career on the line for something. I definitely went through some emotional ups and downs that night, not regretting anything by any means, but I’d love to have maybe done a couple of steps a little different by making sure that everyone was aware of what was going on before I did it.
“I don’t want to put my teammates or my coaches or my GMs or the equipment managers in any kind of bad light when it’s their job to kind of look out for something like this happening. It was definitely something that I did just by myself and was prepared to kind of deal with whatever repercussions the league decides to push towards that. I’m not going to back off and say that this battle is won, but we’re going to find better ways to do it.”
As Dermott noted, LGBTQ+ inclusion is an issue that he has supported for a long time. Without getting into specifics, Dermott said the issue is personal for him because it impacts people close to him.
“I’d be lying if I said I haven’t shed tears about this on multiple occasions,” he said. “So yeah, it’s something I’m definitely very passionate about.
“I’ve met a lot of people that from the outside, it looks like they have everything going right in their life and they have a smile on their face every time they talk to you. But sometimes when we get closer to people and get comfortable enough for them to open up to you, you can see that there’s some pretty dark stuff happening to some good people. It doesn’t take too many times encountering something like that for it to really change someone.
“I’ve been blessed to have some of those opportunities put in front of me to really change my view of what being a good person means; what being a good father and a good example and role model means going forward. You really see how people are hurting and it’s because of a system that maybe no one’s intentionally trying to be malicious about, but until you’ve really had that first-person experience seeing people hurting from it right in front of you, it’s tough to kind of take steps.”
It would be a surprise if the league handed down any sort of punishment. The optics alone would add to the public relations damage that the original ban created. Even so, Dermott reiterated his desire to bring the entire franchise into the fold before he takes similar actions in the future, but he also made it clear that he will not be silenced on the topic.
“It’s not like I’m shutting up and going away,” he said. “I know more questions are going to be coming. We’re just going to be as prepared as we can be to just spread love. That’s the thing. It’s gay pride that we’re talking about, but it could be men’s health. It could be any war. It’s just wanting world peace. Everyone’s got to love each other a little bit more.
“Like my parents said growing up, ‘How awesome would it be to be the guy that people look up to?’ That’s what really hit home when I was a kid, especially from my mom. You want to grow up and be that guy. You want to be the guy that’s having the impact on kids like NHL players had on you. If they had been racist or bigoted, that’s going to have an effect on you.
“With how many eyes are on us, especially with the young kids coming up in the new generation, you want to put as much positive love into their brain as you can. You want them to see that it’s not just being taught or coming from maybe their parents at home. They need to see it in the public eye for it to really make an effect.”
34K notes
·
View notes
Text
mmm
#bellum x linebeck tag ramblings im not making this an actual post i just wanna throw some ideas around bc its still abstract n all that#cuz its not like. just romantic? like im not gonna sit down and treat it like some conventional relationship tho sometimes it is#like i sit down and not a single au/bit of post ph are they actually just. dating. they generally just have Something going on#like in ph. off the bat. i think when linebeck learns about bellum he starts to research him- checks libraries and personal collections#and hounding oshus and the spirits and trying to scrape together every little bit lf information he can find#at first its to quell his fear and maybe find tips he can pass on to link but once he digs deeper he just starts doing it out of curiosity#so theres just a mutual. they really want to know more about each other- linebeck doesnt just stop at researching bellum as an enemy#and bellum doesnt just stop at ‘researching’ linebeck as an enemy and someone to take advantage of#before they meet they have already gone a little farther than necessary into finding info on each other so they. have that mutual interest#and neither of them are too familiar with that i mean linebeck gets link but hes just used to limiting what people know about him#and bellum is used to just being a demonic enemy in need of eradicating (justified tho) whose other traits have been lost to time#like i imagine that long long ago bellum was worshipped as a like. god of war deity of survival against the odds that sort of thing#but the more positive aspects were left to languish when he decided to take the easy and simple way out and towards power and survival#but thats Bellum Lore that i need to add to That Post bc i don think its on there lmao#ok but. specifically in the crimson king au. theres this whole thing bellum eats people he has linebeck bring back limbs and stuff for him#but like some nights they make dinner i (linebeck is. not going to eat human meat. probably)#and while bellum prepares whatever dead guy linebeck brings him linebeck usually brings over a fresh squid#i feel like there’s something there. in other aus bellum ends up being intensely protective of linebeck due to them being reliant on each#other and bellum has known linebeck for a while. in some hes just like. his boss? the space au one is fun thats a fun dynamic#space au is probably the current au where theres the least romantic w/e between them but its still weird#anyways. but like in post ph its that sort of curiosity about each other that drives them to be kind to each other and. civil#theres some recognition they kind of see themselves in each other they understand how they think to a certain degree#bellum is possessive (heh. heheh) of linebeck very quickly partially to be able to keep. well. studying him and eventually bc of liking him#like on a level bellum is kind of just this violent animal that linebeck studies and finds ways to sustain and take care of but bellum#also knows linebeck incredibly intimately so while empathy is generally not there he can talk about very personal stuff to bellum and.#and vice versa a bit! its weird. like bellum has done heinous shit but linebeck kinda just. cares about the present and the future#it kinda ties into my idea that linebeck would rather not touch the past much like he keeps it in mind but moves forward no matter what#so he keeps his eyes forward with bellum and while initially distrustful and keeping him on a short leash just like. gives him some grace#this might be tag limit but like. yknow? im getting there but i might stick to just being loose with it bc it works#salty talks
1 note
·
View note
Text
Sukuna has never said no to you.
It didn’t matter what the request was, simple or complicated, easy to fix or a days-long job, Sukuna was always at your side, completing the task as fast as he needed to to keep you satisfied. He would love to deny it, you’re sure, but evidence proves time and time again that he puts your needs and wants at the top of his priority list.
And you were curious how far you could go with it.
The two of you are sitting in your underwear at the breakfast nook, warming yourselves in the bay window while the morning sun starts on the leftover night time chill. It wasn't quite time for breakfast, still too early for the both of you. In the meantime, you sip on your morning brews, preserving the comfortable silence. Sukuna is flipping through the day's newspaper, his eyes are groggy with sleep and he hasn't said more than a handful of words to you yet. He wasn't a morning person.
You were starting to change that.
"Kuna," You call to him, nudging him with your foot from your corner of the window bench.
"Hmm?" He doesn't look up from the paper, but his hand reaches down and grabs your foot, pulling it into his lap. His thumbs start to subconsciously knead at your muscles.
"I want these." You hold up your phone, which you had previously been scrolling through in an attempt to find something ridiculous for this exact moment. You were sure you had found it, something even Sukuna would find unnecessary.
And yet, he merely glances at your screen, takes in the sight for all of two seconds, and then returns his attention to whatever news article he was in the middle of.
"My wallet's on the counter." He clears the sleep from his throat not sparing a second look.
You blink at him in surprise.
"D-Did you even see what it is?" You flip your phone around to make sure you were displaying the correct thing.
Sukuna is frowning before he looks up again, curious at your persistence. He gently cups your hand, bringing it only a minuscule amount closer to examine your screen a second time.
You were on one of the most luxurious brand’s websites, showing him an incredibly regular pair of panties, no straps, no details, all black- with one of the most outrageous price tags you had ever seen for something so ordinary.
Sukuna cocks a brow at you over your phone, "Can't imagine you need more panties when you're constantly stealing my boxers. But whatever, hand it over. I know my card number-"
"Kuna," You interrupt him with a surprised laugh, holding fast to your phone when he tries to pluck it out of your hands, "they're a thousand dollars."
He glances back, his eyes focusing lower on the screen where you know the price tag to be. The newspaper in his hands drops down, momentarily forgotten by what he sees. For a moment, you think you've found his limit.
"Wait, are those red one's assless?" He points just below the price, where the recommended products are depicted. "Get those too."
You drop the phone down so that he meets your eyes, which are wide with shock.
Sukuna always took care of you. Always insisted on being the provider of any single thing that you may need; a warm meal, a soft bed, anything your eyes twinkled at that was available for purchase- even if you would never think of buying or owning it. Granted, you never wanted much in terms of material possessions, so you didn't realize the true extent of Sukuna's leniency until now.
It was slightly intimidating, and part of it felt wrong. Sukuna had money, plenty of it, but that didn’t mean he should feel the need to spend copious amounts of it on you just because you could ask him to. He was giving you too much power, it felt like.
You huff through your nose, frowning at him, which only has him tilting his head further to the side in question.
You ignore it, setting your phone onto the window seat and crawling your way closer to him, until you can gather up his face in your hands and lock his gaze into yours.
He glares at you past smushed cheeks, but doesn't make a move to break free of your hold, humoring you. "The hell are you doing-"
"You know you don't always have to say yes to me?"
Now that has him taken aback. His mouth automatically opens for a witty response, but your question seems to have effectively taken the words from his mouth. You can see the cogs in his head turning, and what you wouldn't give to peer inside his mind and hear his thoughts.
It takes him a moment, but eventually that familiar confident smile stretches across his sleepy face. His hands seem to instinctively slide their way up your bare legs until his fingers grip your hip bones, pressing into you.
He hums, "When have you ever said no to me?"
You scoff, ready to give him a prime example, but end up coming up short. The two of you loved to tease each other with disobedience, but in the end you were eager to give Sukuna anything his heart desired. You loved to please him, it was one of your favorite things to do, in fact.
"You never ask anything ridiculous of me." You remind him, smiling as one of his warm hands slides back down your waist and dips into the pair of his boxers you were sporting that day.
"You know what's ridiculous?” His voice wraps around your throat, and suddenly has you swallowing past the delicious grip. You're folding into him before you even realize it, at the mercy of his calloused hands. "The implication that I wouldn't do just about anything for you."
You can't help but sigh hopelessly, although it comes out as a desperate noise that pleads him for more. You really were all his, just like he loved to tell you.
"Now hand me your phone." It's a whisper, coaxing you. "I wanna see you in red."
You can’t say no.
At least it was mutual.
#jjk#jjk x reader#sukuna x reader#sukuna#ryomen sukuna#kuna is a feral dog in the eyes of anyone that isn't you#you bring out the puppy love in this psycho#careful#he bites#this was a short and sweet#fluff
8K notes
·
View notes
Text
I Dare You || Ryomen Sukuna
| pairings- Sukuna x fem!reader
synopsis- Two weeks of no sex is too much for poor Sukuna.
content- 18+ MNDI, smut, mean Sukuna, unrealistic car sex (classic handprint), unprotected sex, p in v, MAKEUP SEX, Sukuna is a bit rough, spit, soft Sukuna at the end, fingering, pet names (babe, pretty, my girl), established relationship
wc-2.1k
a/n: I am a whore for Sukuna :(((
Sukuna knew you were stubborn when you first started dating. You hated backing down and always had to have the last word. Sukuna thought it was hot for the most part until you guys got into a fight that has lasted almost two weeks. Two weeks of sleeping on the couch in your shared home, two weeks of non-stop belittling and snarky comments, and most importantly two weeks of no sex.
To many people, Sukuna's desperation sounded ridiculous but they didn’t get it. You two were extremely sexually active, almost fucking every day. Sukuna felt like he was going crazy, not only was he pissed and hurt but he was extremely horny. No amount of jerking off and porn can live up to your warm n’ tight little cunt.
When he’d see you in nothing but one of his t-shirts, or those cute sundresses he bought you, and especially those damn short skirts, he wanted nothing more than just to back down and apologize first so he could be balls deep inside you. It wasn’t that easy. Anytime he’d try you’d stop him.
“What are you doing…?” You immediately paused as you felt Sukuna wrap his arms around your waist, not even trying to be subtle about the massive problem currently pressed right against you. You felt him grind his massive erection right against you, a low not-so-subtle grunt escaping from his throat.
“Nothin’, you just look so fuckin’ sexy in this dress. This is the one I got ya’, right?” He whispered right against your ear, making chills go up your spine. It took everything in your body not to give in to him. His tongue ventured out, licking the lobe of your ear. A soft puff of frustration left your lips.
“You gonna apologize, hmm?” Your tone was fiery as ever. Sukuna stopped his tormenting and rolled his eyes. “Now go away, I’m trying to do the dishes.” You ripped his arms off of you. Trying your best to ignore the arousal pooling in your panties.
“God, you’re so stubborn, I don’t even know what I have to apologize for! I’ll just go fuck myself then!” Sukuna spat and stormed off to the bathroom, making sure to slam the door behind him, rattling the house.
Rolling your eyes at him, really wishing he was making your eyes roll back from his cock. You went back to your original task. As you were finally back in the zone with no thoughts in mind, loud groans could be heard…coming from the bathroom.
You drop the plate you were washing back into the sink. As if your feet had a mind of their own, you made your way to the bathroom, placing your ear against the cold door. “Mmm fuuuck, just like Y/N, wanna make a mess on your face.” You heard your boyfriend's muffled groans, the bastard was doing it on purpose.
You scoff silently, as much as you wanted to ignore him but you couldn’t ignore the heartbeat felt down there. Sighing in frustration, you squeeze your thighs together to bring some relief to your poor untouched clit. Sukuna continued his sultry groans, babbling out “Lemme fill you up baby.” and “You’re so fuckin’ tight.”
Of course, when he came out he had that damn smirk on his face. The kind you wanted to slap off his face, Sukuna was truly going to drive you insane.
The two of you were currently standing inside Yuuji's place for a housewarming party. The smell of cheap liquor and weed filled the air, the scent mixed was almost sickening. Though you and Sukuna couldn’t bother to care.
“We are not doing this here, Sukuna.” You spat at him. It was barely 10 minutes of being here and you and Sukuna were already fighting in the corner of the living room. His large frame, cornering you against the wall.
“Doing what Y/N?” He spoke sarcastically, a smirk etched onto his lips.
“I mean it, I refuse to fight with you in front of your brother and his friends.” You tried to move but he leaned in, successfully trapping you.
“I’m just saying, I would have preferred if you didn’t wear this skirt here.” He said, lowly.
“Are we really going to argue about this right now?” You scoffed, an amused smile adorned your face.
“Don’t play dumb with me right now,” He grabbed your chin. “This skirt is so damn short, you could bend over and everyone could see your fucking pussy,” Sukuna furrowed his eyebrows together. “It’s like you wore it on purpose, fuckin’ attention whore, you’re embarrassing me,” He bit his tongue back realizing the words that just came from his mouth, especially seeing the look on your face. Your mouth was opened slightly, and your eyes widened. That familiar lump forming in your throat. You swiftly pushed past him and walked out of the house, Sukuna was close behind on your heels.
“Y/N, c’mon babe! I didn’t mean it like that.” He held onto your arm.
“Then what did you mean it like then?” You ripped your arm from his grasp, turning around to face him as you two stood under the street lights.
“We haven’t had sex in two weeks Y/N! We can’t even be in a room together without fighting! Can you blame me? You’re beautiful and everyone can see that, are you even attracted to me anymore?!” Sukuna berated you, raising his voice.
“Of course, I’m still attracted to you!” You defended yourself, trying to reassure him.
“Sure, doesn’t feel like it, Y/N,” Sukuna rubbed his face. You could see the frustration written in bold in his expression. “I don’t even know why we are fighting… Are you trying to push me away? Break up with me?” Sukuna looked down, not wanting you to see him look so weak.
“No! Sukuna…I don’t want to break up.” You hesitantly reached out to him, only for him to back away.
“Then why are you acting like such a bitch?!” Sukuna finally broke, his sadness turning into rage.
“Excuse me? You have no room to talk! You’re such a dick Sukuna!” You yelled back at him, feeling tears brim your eyes. “You can’t even apologize!” You looked up at him, fighting the urge to break down in front of him.
“What am I supposed to apologize for?” Sukuna stepped towards you, getting into your face.
“You’re so insufferable,” You spat at him. “Maybe I do want to break up.” You said looking straight into his eyes.
“Yeah? Then fuckin’ do it, I dare you.” Sukuna inched closer to your face, you could feel his hot breath.
“Fuck you, Sukuna.”
In a matter of seconds, your lips were smashed together, his tongue invading your mouth while your hands held onto his shoulders for dear life. His hands tangled in your hair. You bit down on his bottom lip, a growl escaping from his mouth. He removed his hands from your head to your waist, trying to be as close to you as possible. You felt his hard cock pressing against you, making you moan, instinctively you brought your hand down to palm him through his jeans.
“Oh fuck!” He groaned. “Want me fuck ya? Hmm?” He smacked your ass, giving it a firm squeeze. “Get in the car.” He demanded and pulled the keys out to unlock it. He crawled into the passenger seat, scooting and leaning the seat back as far as he could get it.
“C’mere pretty,” Sukuna pulled you onto his lap, making you straddle him. He slammed the car door shut, maintaining eye contact with you. His hands dipped between your legs, rubbing your mound through your panties. “You soaked through your panties, ha-ah!”
He pulled your panties to the side running his fingers between your folds. You moan loudly, his rough skin sending tingles throughout your body. He started to teasingly rub your clit, barely giving it any stimulation. He moved down your slit once again, probing your tight little entrance. Slipping two fingers inside, thrusting in n’ out at a painfully slow speed.
“P-please Kuna, feel s’ good, w-want more.” Desperate whimpers spilling from your mouth. Your hands clinging onto his biceps to keep your upper body stable. Sukuna's fingers pick up speed, creating loud ‘squelch’ sounds from your wet cunt.
“Fuckin’ pathetic, got this pussy so sloppy just from kissing.” He said cockily, acting like his dick wasn’t about to burst through the zipper of his jeans.
“S-shut up, I see t-the wet spot on your jeans.” You smirked and motioned to the spot of pre-cum, seeping through his boxers onto his jeans.
A scowl formed on Sukunas face, he pulled his hand back and swiftly smacked your pussy, making you yelp. “Yeah? You like pissin’ me off, don’t you?” He landed another harsh smack before, shoving two fingers into your tight hole. You gasped loudly at the feeling, his fingers curling into your sensitive spot, over and over again.
“I…I’m g-gonna cum nngh, if you k-keep doing t-that.” Your legs were trembling with pleasure, a knot forming in your stomach. Your orgasm was so close. Then he stopped…
“I don’t think so,” He chuckled and removed his fingers from your wet warmth. “Want you to cum on my cock, can you do that for me, ride this cock?” His tone was menacing, hiding the desperation in his words.
“Yes please, wanna feel you inside me.” A little pout on your lips. He chuckled and started to unbutton his jeans, your mouth watering at the sight of his hard length, hidden underneath his boxers. What you’ve been craving for two weeks now.
Impatiently you reached down to help him, hands fumbling with the waistband. “Impatient? Huh?” Sukuna chuckled, a smirk on his face. His massive member finally free. “Want you to ride me, you know how I like it.” He demanded and helped you guide your hips onto his length. Pulling your skirt up to your waist to watch your bodies connect.
“Shittt, s’ big Kuna.” You squeezed your eyes shut. Never getting used to his size.
“Tsk, this slutty pussy seems to take me fine all those other times, don’t lie to me now.” Sukuna shook his head, pretending to be disappointed. There was an undertone in his words. With no warnings, he thrusted up into you.
“Oh fuck!” You yelped, his cockhead kissing your cervix perfectly. “D-don’t do that!” You were unable to protest, despite Sukuna saying he wanted YOU to ride him; he's doing all the work.
“Fuck! Always so tight….shittt!” He babbled on and on. His hands dug into your waist, holding you in place so he could violently pound his cock into you with no mercy. His tip was brushing against the bundle of nerves that makes you go crazy. “Yesyesyes, ohmy- Sukuna!” Your screams of pleasure only flued him more.
“Just w-wanna fuck you good, show how I missed fuckin’ my girl.” He groaned loudly. Unable to comprehend anything but the pleasure you’re feeling, your mouth falls open, the drool spilling out, dripping down your chin. Sukuna leans up, his tongue coming out to lick the liquid up.
“Y-you’re s-so sick.” You managed to choke out. Sukuna pulled you down with him, wrapping his arms around your waist. The pace of his thrust never died down, if anything they picked up. The sudden new intensity made him much deeper than before. “So f-fuckin deep Kuna.”
Your hand slammed against the foggy window, creating a nice hand print.
“I’m sorry Y/N…m’ really sorry baby.” He suddenly slowed his pace down. His rough grip loosened, hands migrated down to your hips, encouraging you to take over.
Silently you complied, moving against him in circular motions. “N-no I’m sorry, mmph, baby.” You whimpered and pressed your forehead against his. “I s-should have just talked…t-to you.” Your body began to shake again. Your orgasm was creeping up.
“I don’t wanna b-break up.” He admits, his red eyes gazing into yours. “I love you.” He slowly began to thrust back into you, meeting your hips halfway. “Don’t wanna fight with you anymore.” He sounded so desperate.
“I love you too.” Your lips met his for a soft kiss, humming at the feeling. Your release was so close, your walls started to pulse around him. “M’ gonna cum.” Sukuna's ears perked up, he almost came just from hearing your words and feeling the way you squeezed so tightly around him.
“Yeah? Me too, cum with me baby,” He picked up the pace once again. “Milk this cock.” Heavy groans coming from him. His cum painting your tight walls, your own orgasm hitting you. Pulsating around him, milking every drop of his release. “So good baby, that’s it…” He cooed, rubbing soothing circles on your hips.
“I forgive you by the way…” You kissed his forehead.
“Let me eat that pretty pussy first and I’ll forgive you too.”
“Sukuna!”
“Just kidding…”
#jjk x reader#jujustsu kaisen smut#jujustsu kaisen x reader#jujutsu kaisen#jjk smut#jjk sukuna#sukuna#sukuna ryomen smut#ryomen sukuna#sukuna smut#sukuna x reader#anime smut#jujutsu kaisen ryomen#jjk fic#sukuna fic#ryomen x reader#ryomen smut#jjk x you
6K notes
·
View notes
Text
Substitute
Danny as Phantom, bored out of his mind tried his best to keep his eyes open, this JL meeting, the meeting was about a cause of mind control or something, in short this was just boring,
he was here as a substitute for Constantine because that man ditched the last second, and left Phantom for himself.
His so gonna push the man off the ledge when he sees him.
Danny continued to dissociate, until he heard a familiar name, coming out of the dark knight's mouth.
"Ember? the popstar? batman do you really think she's the one doing this mind control thing?" Flash asked, he was also almost falling asleep until the popstar's name was said. "Man, Ember's songs are such a vibe, hope she's not some supervillain"
"It is not confirmed, All we know is that she might only be a meta civilian that really just wants to show the world her songs" Wonder woman reasoned, from the far end of the table.
"Until further notice, we shall gather some crimes she unknowingly did, and have her quarantined for the mean time." Batman stated at the other side of the table.
wait what? Quarantine Ember? His rogue and friend, no that wouldn't do.
"I need to disagree with you there Mr. Batman" Phantom called out gaining all the members attention
"And why is that, Phantom?" Superman asked for Batman, who only stared at the ghost with curiosity.
"Well, you did specifically said that members cannot, mess with other members rogues" Phantom exclaimed "If you mess with Ember you're practically breaking your own rules,"
"The Ember, is your rogue?" Flash said astonished. "Wait that means she's also a ghost like you, But why are you just letting her go around the world parading?"
"Yes she's a ghost like me, i let her parade the world because she's on a vacation I mean this whole world tour speaks for itself, putting her in quarantine will do no good for her or anyone, and the whole mind controlling thing is so last season for Ember, she just sucks the energy out of people who hear her songs so she herself can have energy." Phantom explained, floating down to sit on his designated chair. "Besides I keep track of her, to make sure she doesn't create havoc and overdue her powers, she hasn't mind controlled anyone that's for sure."
Phantom eyed batman who still remained, quiet, he looked like he was thinking of something deeply, whatever it was Danny didn't care as long as Ember and the other ghosts are safe.
"And how would you guarantee that Ember won't harm any human citizens?" Batman questioned.
"Oh that's easy, because I already told them what will happen, if they either try to hurt humans" Danny let out a smile that showed all his sharp fangs, his eyes glowed a toxic green, that made everyone in the room uncomfortable, his hair floated more aggressively and uncontrollably. "I think they got the message."
Everyone felt scared at that moment, just who the hell did Constantine, bring in here?
4K notes
·
View notes
Last Seen Blogs
bgldrn
Sessizlik Lütfen
rain-drops
제목 없음
cthuliee
Fiend of a Thousand Faces
drawnfamiliarfaces
cartoon nostalgia