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filipinoizukuu · 3 years

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hello mr simp do you have any thoughts on the leeks 👀

FIRST OF ALL. THEY CAME SO FUCKING EARLY??? BRO I WAS ASLEEP

SECOND OF ALL

holy SHIT YALL

Okay, it's no secret that I'm an All Might stan. I LOVE All Might. Very very much. Not just as a simp, but genuinely, I enjoy his character SO MUCH.

--And unlike what some people may think, I'm not totally blind to his flaws. I know he sucks as a mentor and that he's done way more harm to Deku than good. He's.... not perfect. in every sense of the word. The whole point of AM's character is that he is a DEEPLY FLAWED individual— but at the end of the day, still good.

This new chapter gave me SOOO many new feelings. I'm not gonna lie to y'all and say I was a Stain apologist beforehand because I wasn't. I disliked Stain to a certain degree, but I also knew he was morally grey enough that I was able to still quite appreciate him as a character. This chapter was about EVERYTHING to me because I honestly did NOT expect Hori to go in this direction and for things to happen the way they did. It was too good to be true! Too fanfic-y! The disbelief I felt when I read what happened was on par with when Bakugou and Deku had that apology and kinda-hug in the rain!

But this disbelief is not because it was a bad thing.

I think the writing in Chapter 326 is phenomenal. The moment that All Might was really beginning to lose hope in not just himself as a hero, but himself as a PERSON... we finally hear the opinion of someone who would abso-fucking-LUTELY make or break the last of his spirit.

Stain is, as much as his views are pretty agreeable and his label is that of a vigilante, still a pretty shitty guy. He's tried to kill literal kids who got in his way, even if said kids made pretty dumb decisions. AM hearing what he has to say is absolutely mind-boggling to him because he knows all of that. He knows Stain is a shitty person and that his worldview is perhaps terribly skewed. He knows Stain has spent a hot minute frying his brains down in Tartarus and isn't good at making judgment calls. Knows that for all intents and purposes, Stain's opinions are not to be trusted.

But the thing is... Toshinori also knows that Stain, regardless of the soundness of his mind, is telling the truth.

Regardless of how fucked-in-the-head Stain is, we as readers are able to acknowledge that he isn't blinded by hero worship. Sure, he's bitter, cynical, and quite the absolutist--but Stain is still clear-headed enough to be able to see AM's flaws for what they are and accept them, ultimately proving to Toshinori that the power of All Might was never his own but rather the legacy that he inspired.

The society MHA takes place in is flawed. We all know this. Heroes, as a concept, had been corrupted into being purely about good and evil. Purely winning fights for money or fame or the abstract concept of victory (coughs Endeavor and the no.1 spot coughs), making heroism as we know it about flashiness and power instead of mercy and the desire to help others.

All Might symbolizes the ideal version of the Hero Society. He represents doing the best you can. Being a hero until you reach your limits, and then going even past that. He symbolizes pure intention and the desire to be a hero not for material gains but because of the pure want to make society a better and safer place. Stain refers to Kamino Ward and the statue as a "holy land" because he believes that through and through, AM's only had the purest of intentions and morals. To him, Toshinori was like a deity that had no fault in making society what it was in the present because that accountability fell on the generations of heroes that failed to fulfill his legacy.

The point being, Stain understood that All Might was fundamentally not about 'being there' for everyone 24/7, but rather the message his presence had sent.

All Might's monologue at the beginning of the chapter essentially boiled down to the ideas that:

A. He regrets not being there properly for Deku

B. His image was a delusion that ultimately led to the downfall of hero society.

To break this down, his problem with Deku is his inability to be a competent mentor. It shows that he has led him down dangerous and horrible paths (Deku's stubbornness to do things by himself and his 'dark' arc post-war), and is unable to bring him back into the light even if he tries. It was only when Class 1-A had intervened that they were able to get Deku to rest and let people tag along, after all, which is why Toshinori was far too embarrassed to follow him into UA's walls even after everyone had come out with umbrellas.

Stain disproves this in two ways.

First, he says that it was never about All Might's ability to actually be there for people. The whole point of what inspired Deku to be the inherently good-hearted "true hero" he is today is because of the values that AM's brand had instilled in him as a child. AM's biggest positive impacts came from behind the screen where he was used as the proof that true heroes can and do exist. Deku does want to be exactly like All Might, yes, which is why we see Toshinori leading him down the same path that he walked--but the underlying message of this is that the very first thing All Might gave him even before OfA was the courage to help fix society.

I do believe Deku is an innately compassionate person. Most people in the series are. However, what makes All Might's smile so uniquely impactful to what it did to Hero Society is the way it gave people courage to help people. Less hesitation. Less bystander syndromes. The ability to move without thinking. Because you can feel the want to help a person, but the courage to be nosey and actually do it? That's portrayed as something AM's image teaches people.

The second way he disproves AM's insecurity of dragging Deku down is that he makes it clear that this pain is somewhat of a necessity in reforming society. He says, interestingly enough, that this is but the 'middle process' in reforming society. This spills over to how he addresses Problem B, but what Stain is essentially saying here is that this sort of brutality and isolation that Izuku faces is impermanent. A phase. It implies that even if Deku is struggling and Toshinori is unable to help him, it is something that needs to happen before they re-realize the ideal heroes All Might's image is meant to create.

The second problem in regards to how All Might feels about current society (how it's collapsing because of him, etc. etc.) is more interestingly addressed. There are many things that Stain says--like how Toshinori doesn't need to actually be the one to fix society with his bare hands. The current society is not his fault because of the fact that it is not finished developing. I'm not sure if I can go so far as to say that Stain means this in the sense of the Scorched Earth method of tearing everything down to build it back up better-- but I can say that Stain still has faith in society to rebuild after this period of chaos.

This rebuilding starts with the old generation of heroes correcting what they messed up (i.e. Endeavor v Dabi) and more importantly, paving the way for a better generation of heroes that was inspired by All Might's image. Heroes that are led by people like Deku, who is defined by his proclivity to help without thinking. The violent deconstruction of society is about exposing society to the raw truth of All Might's image that not everybody can be as strong as him-- which is why we have to take care of each other.

When the lady comes in to remove the sign and start cleaning the statue, it's symbolic. It's a clear metaphor that the past few chapters are the turning point for society as a whole, and how people are starting to remember what real heroism is. From the distrust that was seeded in society ever since LoV had surfaced, we are seeing that trust being returned TEN-FOLD now that people can see not only the mask of a hero's smile, but also the person underneath.

I think it's some really neat symbolism here too about how Deku, who's metal mouth guard was literally all about representing All Might's smile, is shed.

This is hero society dropping their masks. Letting people see them for as they are. Toshinori revisiting the statue in this form makes all the more impact because he shed his mask ages ago during the Kamino Bust, so this is him coming face to face with the image he's created and seeing the differences between them, and how his image continues to live on even after he's almost completely Quirkless. The lady cleaning the All Might statue shows off the fact that things can be repaired again--that society can be clean (hehe stain pun) again.

It's interesting to me here how Stain offers the information from Tartarus.

He doesn't care anymore about his life. It's evident. He disagrees with what the LoV is doing, but believes enough in Deku to think that it's time for him to retire the mantle of 'Stain'. Unless this is another test, it's very odd for me to hear that Stain is offering a blade and his life to someone he isn't even sure is All Might.

But the impact of this action reads loud and clear.

This is Stain taking pity on All Might. This is him realizing that All Might too is a person behind the hero. That Toshinori Yagi is incapable of doing anything past the image he had already created. By offering that knife and information on Tartarus, Stain is giving control back to Toshinori. He is giving AM the chance to do something big again to help society's reconstruction. To be a part of the revolution that he so badly deserves to see. That knife is essentially an exit ticket from the sidelines, and one last chance for All Might to be able to see what his image has done for people.

I personally think that the main reason Stain is willing to die then and there by Toshinori's hand, despite not being sure that he is All Might to begin with, is because of the final impact it creates that it isn't about Toshinori Yagi's true power as a person, but the image of All Might. It is because he looks like the symbol of peace, that Stain (the literal HERO KILLER) feels comfortable laying his life in his hands and giving away valuable information.

If that isn't a great testament to the power of AM's image, I don't know WHAT is.

I guess all I have to say is I absolutely love what Stain did in this chapter. Everything felt so incredibly symbolic and emotional and as someone who absolutely ADORES All Might and what he stands for in the story, this felt like a cool balm after seeing Deku tragically reject his bento box a good few chapters ago. I have a few more opinions about symbolism, and how I think Deku's generation of heroes is going to stray from the old gen, but I think that's a discussion for another time.

Thanks for reading 'til the end!

#asks #anon #bnha meta #mha meta #all might #toshinori yagi #yagi toshinori #stain #mha stain #mha #bnha #my hero academia #boku no hero academia #mha spoilers #bnha spoilers #mha 326 #bnha 326

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enhypia · 3 years

Text

JY ; almost lovers

almost lovers answers questions with the choice of drinking instead of answering

pairings: sim jaeyun x gn!reader

genre: fluff, angst if you squint

words: roughly 1.4k

masterlist ⸺ series masterlist

~guides and warnings~

italics - reader speaking

bold - jake speaking

[enclosed] - interviewer speaking

italicized bold - both reader and jake speaking

[enclosed bold or italics] - question (depends on who's speaking)

heavily inspired by: rec.create lie detector games, cut truth or drink

warning: contains and mentions of !!! drinking and swearing

i don't promote underage drinking, save your livers

-ˋˏ✄┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈

hello~ my name is jake!

and i'm (y/n)

and we're almost lovers

[you guys were invited here today as almost lovers for a fun little drinking game, you guys aware of that right?]

yes we were

[okay, for this game, questions will be asked and if you refuse to answer, you drink, it's that simple. should we start?]

yup!

i'll be drinking regardless if i answer or not btw

why?

it's free alcohol

[how long have you guys known each other?]

since middle school ??

yup, so like 6 or 7 years ?

[wouldn't you be childhood friends then?]

oh no, jake and i weren't friends

*jake laughs and (y/n) grins

we really weren't, we were just somehow always put in the same classes

classmates, that's literally just what we were

ah i got it, we just knew of each other's existence

yup that

*both laugh

[how did you guys became almost lovers then?]

oh it's the classic project partners thing

we became seatmates, and like for that whole school year almost every teacher assigned seatmates as partners

it's like they all collectively agreed to it

yeah so we just eventually got close and ,,,

chaos ?

chaos.

*both giggle because jake's giggle is contagious

[why didn't you guys get together?]

we were both cowards and dumb with feelings

and jake had to move back to australia

and i had to move back to australia

[so if jake didn't move, you guys could've been together?]

,,,, i honestly do not know

yeah same

jake was the popular dream guy, i wasn't even dating him back then but so many rumors spread

i'm sorry about that really

don't worry, it wasn't your fault

*you pat him on the head making him smile widely

[how about we start the q&a between you guys?]

yeah, let's go~

*both nod and played rock paper and scissors to determine who gets to ask first, jake wins

okay! first question

*jake picks up a card and laughs in disbelief

why?

[do you still find me attractive?]

*(y/n) bursts out laughing

i don't know if i should be offended that you're laughing or what

no, because it's ridiculous!

whY?

jake i literally compliment and hype you up whenever we meet

*jake blushes

so yes i still do find you attractive because you ARE attractive.

*(y/n) smiles teasingly

*jake rolls his eyes

*(y/n) picks up a card

oh wow

[did you see ever yourself loving me?]

*jake takes a shot

you know that just makes you sus

it's not like you don't know the answer?!!

that's the point! i do know so you could've just answered instead of drinking

shut up *jake grumbles

*you take a shot to make him feel better

the answer is yes btw, i did see myself loving them

*(y/n) almost chokes

*jake laughs

it's different hearing it out loud

*jake g i g g l e s

just read the next question

[do you think it's my fault that we didn't become a couple?]

pffft-

i mean

yeah yeah, but for me i'm blaming australia

sure buddy.

*jake :O

but no i don't think it was your fault, like we said a while ago, even if you didn't move, we were still dumb with feelings and we probably would've prioritized our future than a relationship. it wasn't the right time i guess??

*jake nods in agreement

[sorry, was it ever clarified between you guys that you had feelings for each other?]

oh yeah! we knew about it

yeah bUT AFTER I CAME BACK FROM AUSTRALIA ???

*(y/n) laughs

we met up when he came back and i just went "oh did you know i liked you back then?" and then jake just -

*(y/n) can't finish the sentence because (y/n) remembers the scene perfectly and is laughing hard

*jake groans

thAT! he groaned like that and basically slammed his head on the table.

yeah and you gaped like a fish after i told you i liked you back then too!

*jake :P

*(y/n) :O

i did not

yes you did! you went *jake imitates a gaping fish

yah! *(y/n) hits jake's arm lightly

*both laugh

*(y/n) reads the card and takes a shot after

why are you drinking? i'm the one answering

i know, i just needed that shot to prepare myself

[do you still have feelings for me?]

*jake turns red and reaches for a shot

moving on-

i'm answering

*(y/n) error404 please restart

*both cannot look each other in the eye

i don't know honestly? i still am kind of dumb with feelings but the reason why i say i don't know is because i'm trying to make sure that what i'm feeling for (y/n) is real?? like i actually do like them and not with the feeling ??

*(y/n) nods understanding what he meant

because wouldn't that be unfair to (y/n) ? saying you have feelings for them when you aren't really sure? i don't want that, i don't want to hurt (y/n) in any way or form

*(y/n) downs a shot and covers their face in embarrassment

why~ ?

*(y/n) narrows their eyes at jake and just hands him the card to read

*jake laughs

okay let's go,

[do you still think about what could've been?]

goddammit

*(y/n) takes a shot

*jake is basically just laughing at everything at this point, but that's okay he's cute when he laughs

yes, i do. i think what plagued me the most were 'what if?' questions. when i see my friends getting into relationships or hearing them talk about someone they've been seeing. i would often ask like "what if we just had confessed earlier?" "what if you never moved?" "what if we actually got together?" things like that

but i think my hardest 'what if' was "what if we just tried?"

*please put jake in rice he is not working

*he raises his glass to do a cheers

here's to painful confusion !

and dumb feelings~

*both take a shot

[question for both: do you regret that you guys didn't get together?]

honestly, no? i feel like if we did, we would be two completely different people right now?

yeah, i like who i am and who you are right now, so i don't think i regret it either.

and we were shit at romantic feelings

we aren't kidding, we really were

i feel bad for everyone who had to witness that phase in our lives

rip

*both laugh

[freestyle! ask any question you want]

hmm,,

don't think too much

no <3

*(y/n) rolls their eyes

okay, okay, i have one

this better be good sim.

[you said a while ago that it wasn't the right time for us before. how about now? do you think we're finally at the right time?]

.........

*(y/n) is speechless

*(y/n) downs a shot

jake don't ask me out on television

*jake bursts out laughing

i don't know jake, you tell me, you're the one confused with feelings.

... .. ... .

*(y/n) realizes what they said

*jake literally 👁👄👁

,,,, what?

*(y/n) clears their throat

huh?

nu uh, what did you just say ??

i haven't said anything yet?? are you okay?

*(y/n) looks at the crew around them that were covering their mouths preventing laughs and squeals

you definitely said something that meant you have feelings for me!

i did not! you need to get your ears checked

*(y/n) is blushing and is avoiding jake's intense look

[that's one way to end, huh?]

oh yay! we're done, good job everybody!

*(y/n) is hurrying to escape like a pokemon

*jake is still dumbfounded, poor guy

[is he okay?]

don't worry about him, he's rebooting

*jake glares adorably at (y/n)

we are talking after this

sorry i have plans, i need to water my dog

*(y/n) teases jake making him facepalm

[i think i smell another feature, but maybe as couples next time?]

*both blushes at the statement

that's all up to jake, director :D

*jake :O

honey, close your mouth, you'll catch flies

*jake wakes up at the term of endearment and his blush deepens

yah~ !

*(y/n) grins widely and waves to the camera

bye~

»————-　♡　————-«

bonus: youtube comments (peep last one)

masterlist ⸺ series masterlist

a/n: AAAA ENHA CB !! the enhypen dimension opens owo <3 anyways, i made jake's lighter since i couldn't make it angsty, he's too precious, i must protect him. also, my jake timestamp (oh worm?) received a lot of love, thank you !!! i hope you like this one as well~ sunoo's will be uploaded next !! please look forward to it <33

#enhypen #enhypen imagines #enhypen scenarios #enhypen x reader #enhypen fluff #speak or shot #enhypen series #enhypen x gender neutral reader #sim jaeyun scenarios #sim jaeyun imagines #sim jake #sim jaeyun #enhypen jake #jake x reader #sim jaeyun x reader #enhypen jake imagines #enhypen jake scenarios #jake scenarios

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krakenartificer · 3 years

Text

When I got my ADHD diagnosis, I looked at the questions on the screening form and thought, "If this result comes back positive, then I'm definitely not the only person in my family who has it." Questions like

"Have difficulty finishing one activity before starting another one" and

"I finish others' sentences before they can finish it themselves" and

"have trouble staying on one topic when talking"

...I thought were just weird quirks of my family, but no. When I got my results, I contacted my cousin, and she contacted her sisters and mother, and .. .. yeah. Basically everyone in my dad's side of the family is ADHD.

Now there are some problems with that, obviously, (getting family reunions to stick to a schedule is lol no) but there are some really fantastic perks. For one thing, no one in that family minds if I interrupt them while they're talking ... everyone's happy to keep 3 conversations going at the same time .... and no one minds if you fidget constantly.

But the best perk -- at least that I've found so far -- is that all of our parents have coping mechanisms, and passed them on to us. When I found myself unable to handle tasks with more than one step, my father didn't say "WTF are you talking about? It's easy! Just do the thing! Stop being lazy!" No, he could relate completely, and he sat down and taught me how to handle that.

So today, I'm going to pass on to you the coping mechanism my dad taught me for handling the "cannot put tasks in order / cannot get started / forget what I'm doing" problem. You'll need to adjust it for your own needs and your own struggles, but hopefully it'll be helpful in setting up your own process.

I'm going to walk through it with a big project I'm doing at work, just to have a concrete example. That will make some of the discussion specific to computer programming and technical writing, but I do the same thing for all my projects, so hopefully it'll be generalizable.

So to set the stage:

I was supposed to modify this piece of code -- we'll call it "Rosetta" -- to make it handle call data as well as what it was already doing. I did that.... but we now need the code to be able to handle calls (if that's wanted) but also to be able to handle NOT having calls (if THAT'S wanted).

Which is just .... ugh. So much. SOOOOOOOO much.

So. Break it down.

Step one is to get some recording mechanism - pen and paper, whiteboard, blank computer document, whatever

(Technically, this is a different coping strategy, so we'll just take a quick detour: WRITE THINGS DOWN. Your brain is shit at remembering things, and anyway you've already got limits on your working memory; why would you choose to tie up some of that limited resource in something that could be accomplished with literal stone-age technology? Don't even try to remember things. WRITE THEM DOWN.)

I like sticky notes: they're readily available in all offices, they're pretty cheap, and (most importantly) they can be rearranged if it turns out that I forgot a step or put the steps in the wrong order (which, like, let's be honest, I am definitely going to do). But they kill trees and create unnecessary methane emissions, so I've recently switched over to using virtual sticky notes. That's the format I'm going to use for this example, but you can use anything that meets your purposes.

So, you've got something to write with, you're ready to start.

The first question is: what are you trying to accomplish here? What would "done" look like? What is our goal?

I need to end up with a version of Rosetta that will make the correct results if you don't want calls, and will also make the correct results if you do.

The goal here is that you end up with a statement that you can definitively say (a) Yes this is what I wanted or (b)No this is not right because _______

In this case, in order to do that, I'll need to define "correct results" for both call- and non-call versions. But if I have that nailed down, then this statement meets that criterion: I'll be able to say "Yes, this is what I wanted: see, it makes the correct result for calls, and it makes the correct result for not-calls". Or else I'll be able to say, "No, this is wrong: see, it makes the correct result for calls, but on not-calls it does X and we wanted Y."

I have a clear, definitive standard about what I need to do and whether or not I've done it.

But there was a prerequisite there: I need to define "correct results".

So that goes on a sticky note: Create test that will compare my results to existing call!Rosetta-results and to existing not-call!Rosetta-results.

[ID: Two blue boxes, one on top of the other. The top one says in white text "Create test to compare my results to call!results" The bottom one says "Create test to compare my results to not-call!results"] OK. So now we know what we want. The second question is: what do we need to do in order to get that? Here's where the sticky-note recording system really shines, because you don't have to answer this question sequentially. You just start writing down every single thing that is not the way you want it to end up.

I need it to remove commas in the python script, not the bash script

I need to delete the first part of the get_runs() function, which doesn't do anything

I need to delete the rest of the parameters passed to build_query_script() function, because runs encompasses all the others

while we're on that subject, runs doesn't even need the group_variable, so let's pull that out of the parameter document

we also have a dmf defined, which the bash script demands but doesn't use; let's change that demand

since we're changing the structure of the parameter document, we don't need to pull new metrics for each run, so let's move that outside of the runs() loop and only run once

right now the parameter document is ALMOST but not quite "one row per template". Make it so it's actually one row per template.

among other things, that's going to require making it possible for a template to be followed by nothing at all, since it's the assumption that a template will have a metrics block after it that makes it not quite one row per template. So make it possible to publish a template with a null block

the other thing that's weirdly hard-coded is the definition of what a block looks like. Would it make more sense to separate that out into an input file, like the parameters document? On the one hand, that would make it much more flexible; on the other hand, that's another piece that can break. Don't know. Put a question mark on it.

etc

Here's what it looks like at the end of this step:

[ID: A black and white background showing many boxes in two different shades of blue, all with white text. Some of the boxes are overlapping each other.]

As you can see, at this phase you don't need to worry about any of the following:

ordering the tasks. Just stick 'em right on top of each other for now

how you're going to do any of this. Right now we just need to know what, not how

sticking to only one project. As I was working on this, it occurred to me that this whole process would have been a heck of a lot easier if someone had just made a user manual for this, and since I have to go through all the code line-by-line anyway, I might as well write up the documentation while I'm at it. (To help out future-me, if nothing else.) So I put those tasks on another color of sticky note.

making notes that make any ***ing sense to anyone else. This process is for you, and only you need to understand what you're talking about it. Phrase it in ways that make sense to your brain, and to hell with anyone else.

on that topic, also don't worry about making steps that are "too small" or "too dumb" to write down. This is for you. If "save document" feels like a step to you, then write it down.

You also don't need to get every single step involved in the project right now. Get as many as you can, to be sure, but the process is designed on the assumption that you ARE going to forget important steps, and is designed to handle that.

When you can't think of any more steps, then the third question is: what order does it make sense to do these in? Are there any steps that would be easier if you did another step first? Are there any that literally cannot be done unless another step is complete?

This is also a good place to group steps if they fit together nicely. When I used physical sticky notes, I used two different sizes; digitally I can of course make them whatever size I want.

So I have several documentation steps that (a) do need to be written to make sense to other people and (b) I really need to know what's going on before I can do that. I could write them now, but if I did, I'd just end up re-writing them based on things that change as I'm coding. So we'll move those to the end:

[ID: Three dark blue boxes with white text. They read "Create step-by-step instructions for creating your own metric agg", "Create step-by-step instructions for modifying a metric", "Create step-by-step instructions for modifying a query."]

These parts, though -- if I had all the variable structures written down, I could look at them while I'm coding. Then I won't have to keep scrolling back and forth in the code, trying to remember if it's an array or a dictionary while also trying to remember what part of the code I was working on. Brilliant. Move that to the front.

[ID: Seven dark blue boxes with white text, three large, four small. The first one is large and says "Write up explanation of how Rosetta works." The second one is large and says "Document structure of all variables." Attached to that one are four smaller boxes that say "All_blocks", "Runs", "metric", "New_block". The third large one says "Document what qb_parameters.csv contains"]

Also, while I'm at it, I should get the list of variables I need to document -- then I won't have to keep scrolling to find them. Make those sub-steps.

I definitely keep needing to look up what's in the parameters document, so I should write that down, too. For the user manual I also should write down what's in the metric document, but I don't need that for myself, so I can send that to the end.

[ID: The same three dark blue boxes from two screenshots ago (create step-by-step instructions for metric agg, modifying a metric, and modifying a query), now with another dark blue box in front of them with white text that says "Document what granular_metrics.tsv contains."]

These five are all small steps, and are all related in that they don't actually (hopefully) change the functionality of the code; they're just stuff left over from prior versions of this code. So we can lump them all together.

[ID: Five light blue boxes with white text that say "Delete first part of get_runs()", "Have build_query_script only receive the "run" parameter" "Delete dmf" "Move metrics=get_metrics() outside build_all_blocks (all the way up to the top level?" "Delete group_variable from qp_parameters"]

My brain likes this better, so that I can keep track of fewer "main steps", but that's just a peculiarity of me -- you should lump and split however you prefer to make this process easier for you.

[ID: The same five boxes from the prior screenshot, now all made smaller and attached to a larger box that says "Remove Legacy Code"]

Keep going, step by step, sticky by sticky, until you've got them in order. If -- while you're doing this -- you remember another thing you need to do, write it on a sticky and slap it on the pile; you don't have to stop what you're doing to deal with it, because it's written down and it's on the pile and it will get processed; you can just keep working on the thing you're on right now.

[ID: All the same boxes from the first screenshot, now in a neat row. Some of the original boxes have been grouped together. The ones that were said to be at the beginning of the process are on the left and the ones that were said to be at the end are on the right.]

Step four: for the love of all that's holy, SAVE THIS LIST.

Write it on your cubicle whiteboard where it won't be erased

write it on a piece of paper and tape it to the office wall

send an email to yourself

take a picture with your phone

I don't care but save it.

When I used physical sticky notes, I kept them all on the hood of my cubicle's shelf. Now, as you can see, I use Powerpoint, which is irritating af but does allow me to keep everything in a single document, which I can write down the path of.

[ID: White text on a black background says "open ~/Documents/Rosetta\ Modifications\ and \Documentation.pptx" The next line says "Notes in Rocketbook pg 10-12, 16" The next line says "Turn that into documentation that can be used for making modifications."]

And now (finally) you can answer the question "How would I even get started on that?" You look at the first thing on the list, and you treat it as its own project. You can hyperfocus on this step and completely forget about everything else this project requires, because everything you need to remember for the rest of it is written down.

If, as you're working a step, you think of something else you need to do for the big project, write it on a sticky and slap it on the pile. Don't even worry about trying to order it or identify sub-steps; as long as it's not blocking the thing you need to work on right now, you don't have to care. Just stick that bugger anywhere at all on the list, and go back to what you were doing. When you un-hyperfocus and come back to look at your list, there'll be a big sticky note stuck sideways across all the rest of the steps, and you'll remember to file and order it then.

Other benefits of this system

1) The first question really helps with unclear directions from your boss. You can take whatever they told you to do, and translate it into a requirement that is clearly either met or not-met, and then run it back by the boss.

If they say, "No, no, we want ______" then phew! You just saved a huge miscommunication and weeks of wasted work! What a good employee you are! What an excellent team player with strong communication skills!

If they say "Yes, that's what I want," then you know -- for sure -- what it is you're trying to accomplish. Your anxiety is reduced, and your boss thinks you're super-conscientious.

(And if your boss is a jerk who likes to move the goalposts and blame it on their subordinates, then have this conversation over email, so you can show it to their boss or to HR should it become necessary.)

2) Having this project map means that when you spend an hour staring at the requirements and trying to figure out how to get started (which, let's be honest, you were definitely going to do anyway) ... When your boss/coworker comes by and says, "How's it going?" Instead of having to say "I haven't even started 😞" You can say, "Pretty well! I've got all the steps mapped out and am getting ready to start on implementation!" and show them your list, and they think you're very organized and meticulous. 3) Sometimes, especially in corporate jobs, you and your coworkers will run into a problem that's too big for even Neurotypicals to hold all in their heads. At that point, the NTs will be completely lost -- they've never had to develop a way to handle projects they can't just look at and know how to get started. So then you pipe up in the meeting and say, "OK, well, what exactly are we trying to accomplish?" and everybody at the conference table looks at you like you're a goddamned genius and you don't have to tell them that you use this exact same process to remember how to make a sandwich 😅

4) Having this project map makes it so much easier to stop work and then start it up again later, but this post is already really really really long, so I'm going to address that in a separate (really really long) post.

#adhd #adhd life #tips #semi-solicited advice #gpoy #your mileage may vary #long post #very long post #sorry I wish I wrote more concisely too

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walkingtaetrash · 3 years

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THOUGHTS ON GILMORE GIRLS:

i have so much to say y’all regarding gilmore girls. I LOVE this show. i have a very tension filled hatred for some parts but most of all LOVE.

after watching seven whole seasons of these girls lives, i have to say i truly understand the complexities of these characters. we’re not even gonna get into the years of a our lives thing, no this is about the freaking original. god, the amount of shit that rory did, lorelai did, chris did, luke did, emily and richard, I MEANNNN god it’s a lot

1. Rory.

gosh this girl was so frustratingly annoying. a perfect gem and pearl in the first year, and then later she becomes a nuisance. but what i truly see is her finally getting out of that naivety/handholding/dewy eyed phase and onto things like being a teen. this girl really stole a boat and got it on her record and what i hated about the show is that they never bring it up again. like that def affected her getting into places bUT NOOOOO. they wanna paint her out as some saint. i think the only sympathy i have to her behavior is that she was growing into who she was. i thought thank goodness Jess screamed at the girl to go back to yale because Logan wasn’t gonna do it!! gosh the whole relationships this girls gone thru, ruining deans marriage, cheating on logan with jess and making jess sad, going back to logan again and again after he treated her like crap? like NO honey that’s toxicityyyyyy. anyways she was annoying but at the end i love her.

2. lorelai.

I LOVE THIS WOMAN. no matter how many times she screwed up i could never stop loving this woman. does this mean i have bias ? YES. sorry y’all. i just related so much to these two. the dynamic of a single mom and her kid spoke so much to me and my mom. but also i am not like lor and rory, i’m more like lor and emily. i have the same mommy issues, caffeine addiction, and a incessant need to ramble on about god knows what. i do not have the sexy, charming wit she has, but i do think i’m funny and i talk a lot (i mean look at this long ass text post) BUT she’s just so beautiful and wonderful. she went thru so much for rory and made her into the kid she is today and just was so understanding. i wish she gave emily grace but at the end like i truly get why she was always so frustrated. there were times where she was excessive but damn it i get her. i love her and luke. why tf did jason happen. also the chris marriage so nasty, but all in all she deserves love and to be cherished.

3. luke

this man holds my heart gosh damn it, i love him. i don’t know why april came into his life, maybe to add some spice. i think he never would’ve forgotten to wear a condom lowkey he’s so responsible. but hey, whatever the show includes. i think he handled that part so well tho , and only fighting for partial custody , i truly loved that. he didn’t wanna make it a big thing cause he knows that april needs her mom, but i thought it was rude that Anna (ew), someone who knew Luke’s character, and knows what kind of guy he is, would not tell him he had a kid. and then expects him not wanna be a dad? like he is the ultimate “i wanna make sure everything’s done right on my end, i’ll always do what i think is right” type of guy. he did that with jess i mean come on. i love his anger about things cause it reminds me of my own dad, and like i wish there was more complexity to him, but i think he repetitive nature suited him. he had a lot of chaos in his life and tranquility in the small things in life like routine and filling the salt shakers really helped him feel grounded and have a sense of control. i love him, the most caring dude in the world, and i would want him on my side in a war.

4. dean

we gotta start somewhere for rory’s boyfriends. i think he was a good first boyfriend, treated her right, but goSH DAMN IT HE WAS SO FUCKING ANNOYING LATER ON. see i even started watching gilmore girls cause jared padalecki was in it, and i was so awestruck by it cause of the characters but DAMN if a character could be even more annoying. dean was not into the things rory was into and they had no spark, but they had comfortability and it was sweet and he helped lorelai out a lot and treated her good, but he legit was so clingy and all that shit later on. and like he wasn’t even trying wiyh life with her in it either and it just frustrated me. he messed up a marriage for her, it’s so wrong man. like ugh.

5. jess

if i could hug someone i would hug him omg. he looks like he smells like those manly colognes, books, and hair products but the fruit scented kind like coconuts and berries that he’s embarrassed to tell you about. gosh he is such a character. i love him so much and he went thru so much as a kid and i wish he never had that scene of pressuring rory cause that was a HUGE ick but all in all, he just had to go to therapy and know he could make it big. i wish they input his story more and that whole outfit at the poetry house thing was vomit, the hair and goatee made me choke i was like this aint you bby boy, but alas they had to make him look like those 2000 poet guys (i mean it was in the 2000’s but i digress) it just wasn’t his leather jacket and jeans look i missed. he was the one who understood rory in all her creative mess. he was the one to spark up that drive for yale again and told her to pursue whatever she wanted (granted i didn’t like how he showed up at her dorm and was like let’s run away together) but he was there for her in the ways he could. he had so much trauma tho that i think it was best they let go of each other and i think if they found each other again later and pursued it it would be beautiful.

6. logan.

i hated him at first yall. i’m so sorry i really did. he was a player, immature, immoral, and annoyingly right about things. rory did not need his influence. they stole a boat together, he wanted her to be out of her comfort zone yes but damn to what extreme? i think after he matured up, it was so beautiful tho. i hate to admit it but i love him now. he grew on me, he truly started caring for rory in a responsible way, he started working, he started realizing he could lose rory, and in the end it was sad she didn’t accept but he took it like a champ. i think he was so ready for it cause he loved her but he couldn’t have expected her to drop all her career options and just go with him to san francisco. i think he should’ve known her well enough but i also get why he didn’t wanna do long distance. i think he connected with her very well. in the way that pointed out her ICKS she never knew she had. she also was a trust fund baby with a rich family and is at Yale and doesn’t have to work through college. i hated that she never acknowledged that and thought she was some fucking hard worker. like yes you study a lot ma’am but you don’t work you’re not someone who knows what it’s like to worry about rent the next day. like damn she had a mom and she had her pool house shit and i also think it was so ungrateful the way she acted towards emily and richard. like they did so much shit for her and she took it for granted. yes they can be extreme but rory needs to be nicer. she is literally another pompous kid who attended an ivy league and she acted so high and mighty in that article ugh. anyways logan was able to show her that hey you have flaws too don’t think you’re perfect but also showed her her TRUE potential. he wanted her on a newspaper and wanted her things to excel and was there with her every step of the way. paid for an apartment, dor a car, and i feel she never really acknowledged that. it was frustrating. but he was frustrating in ways too with the bridesmaid things and the player things and the gambling with Colin and Finn (why did they exist) and yeah. but anyways 9/10

7. christopher hayden.

can i say i fully loathe this man? HATE. i despISE this man. the amount of times he messed up? the amount of times he broke rory and lorelai’s heart?? TOO MANY. he’s a dumb dad and he acts stupid with GG too and i stand by it and sherry is a bitch but damn oh damn did chris get himself in shit. lorelai was ready to marry him and be with him and he went to sherry. SHERRY DIDNT EVEN WANT THE KID. well she did and then it came by and she didn’t and then she left and that was confusing asf. cause she was over here talking rory’s ear off about chris and kids she was the most annoying character ever. hated her . BUT I HATE CHRIS MORE. then lorelai dated luke and pushed her and expected her to be with him and it to be fine. no. and thank god they split but damn the hurt lorelai went thru? it’s embarrassing when luke is the one at the hospital for lor’s dad instead of the husband. anyways it was stupud of him to always try. and then like mess it up between him and rory and act like a dad when he was barely there for her, but either way i’m happy he paid for yale and he’s out of their lives as much as he was in it.

8. emily.

EMILY MY LOVE. you are so stubborn and so conceited but damn do you love your family to the moon and back. this woman was a wife through and through and i have so much respect for her and it’s so weird because i’d never want that for me and it’s so traditional but she’s such a caring woman. only for her blood tho it’s so funny the way she could care less about those around her. um, i hate the rich things ya know the “status, and being poised” thibg but i have to realize it’s becaus of how she was raised and what she was taught was correct. i think lorelai never deserved that uobringing but i think emily tried her best in what she knew. and she tried to be better and wanted to be included in rory and lorelai’s life. even if she was always annoyed by lorelai’s jokes, she knew that was their dynamic and i loved that lorelai agreed to friday night dinners even after rory left it meant so much to her. and i love emily. she loves lorelai so much in her weird and twisted way, she does. that girl would kill for lorelai. i’d move mountains for this woman

9. richard

i needed time to get used to him at the beginning of the season but later on i found that i loved him too. the loving at first about the rory cryibg about yale thing was cute cause it was his first “i’m your grandpa i’d do anything and spoil you silly” event he ever experienced but it was so intense and i totally understood why he coddled her. i wish he didn’t cause it caused all the problems but it was necessary to see his love for her was strong.

they had to find ways in connecting in the beginning with the golf and the hat and books and all that but rory and richard were so close and i love that man. at the end, he saw no use in fighting with lorelai and even laughed at her jokes and was a mediator between emily and lor and the heart attack def did shit to him for him to say he knew lorelai was adored because she turned out to be a great person and that’s why the town loved her, it wa all so cute. i think at the end of the seasons we grow to love richard and emily so much so that we forget all the bad things they did.

kirk.

100000/10 he’s amazing i never would give him up.

enough daid, this show is great i love the complexities and i love the dynamic, the jokes, (some are problematic like the body shaming, r word, culture stereotyping, and sexuality jokes) i think that it was a great show focused on plot. i hated the first episode of the life thing the spin off i forget what it’s called, but you know. they made a lot of “spanish i don’t speak spanish” jokes and there’s barely still any diversity in the cast, and the jokes are so bad like they’re trying to be accepting of the lgbtq+ community but they made jokes so many times in season 7 that it can’t be ignored and like the amount of times they are so stereotypical to the asian community like “rory’s trip to asia”? like that whole episode was so rude with the hello kitty sign, but like idk

it’s a complicated show, i loved it and hated it, i have a love relationship with it that includes such tension it’s toxic. like i’m even hispanic and the whole bit of them not knowing soanish nor thinking they can learn a bit (idk as a inn owner maybe pick up a language/trade?) is not even that effecting to me cause i know them as characters on the show and the girls we grew to love are not like that at all. idk it’s so weird. idk y’all. anyways i finsihed it thank goodness now someone pls recommend new shows :))))

#gilmore girls #rory gilmore #lorelai gilmore #luke danes #logan huntzberger #jess mariano #me rambling #there’s no end to it #i apologize but i had to let it out #enjoy this lol

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writingtoforgetreality · 4 years

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Happy Birthday - The Devil´s Daughter Chapter One (Lucifer Morningstar x Daughter!Reader)

[Lucifer-Masterlist], [The Devil´s Daughter-Masterlist]

Next Chapter

Summary: Being the Devil´s daughter was not particularly fun but it was something you could not change, unfortunately. What would you do on your birthday when you finally had the chance to leave heaven? Leave everything behind and start over on Earth?

Words: 1,702

Warnings: Lucifer Season 5 Part 1 spoilers, nothing too crazy yet (pretty much introducing everything), Michael, Gabriel, Raphael, God, (Y/A) = your age, (Y/E/C) = your eye color

If you like my work & wanna support me: a coffee would be highly appreciated ❤

Heaven. Everyone has their own imagination of this place. Of how beautiful it is. Some people believe while others don´t. You, though, you did believe in heaven. How could you not? You had been there your entire life. Why, you ask? Well, you were an angel and angels were supposed to be up there. You were not an ordinary angel, though. What made you special was your father. The Devil. Yes, you heard that right. The daughter of the rebel, someone who was “disliked” by pretty much every single existing angel. We don´t need to talk about his reputation. Even though you had never met your father, you had been excluded from all angelic doings. Therefore, what other people saw as paradise, you saw as hell. Ironic, wasn´t it?

In all your years of existing, you had met a total of three other angels and, the one and only, God himself. Apparently, nobody else wanted to be close to you. You were the devil´s daughter, you did not have the best reputation either but you had never hurt anyone and never would. As you can imagine, being pretty much alone most of the time was rather boring. Once a day, Micheal came by to keep you company for a while. The two of you were close, he always made sure you felt comfortable and never judged you by your origin. It was not something you could change anyway. On lucky days, all three angels, archangels to be precise, were at your chambers. Mostly you guys chatted but sometimes you even had game nights, your absolute favorite. To say you were thankful for Michael, Gabriel and Raphael would be understatement. Without them, you would have gone insane ages ago. To you, heaven felt like a prison. You were not allowed anywhere but your chambers. “(Y/N), it´s for your own good, trust me.” God had told you this sentence way too many times and you were starting to grow tired of it.

While you were alone, the one thing you loved doing was watching Earth and humanity. How they lived so freely without any restrictions. It was no secret that you wanted to leave heaven as soon as you would turn (Y/A). By then, you would be allowed to go anywhere you liked, without God telling you what to do. Especially Michael listened to your complaints and wishes closely. You were sure you had his support since he had told you many times before. One person you did not tell. God. Maybe because you knew his answer. Maybe because he would try everything to keep you up here, even if you had not felt happy in years. Humans did not know you were the Devil´s daughter, your reputation down there would be just fine. At least that was what you had told yourself. It did not matter anyway, your mind was set. Your birthday was in one day. One day and you would finally be free. Away from the negative energy heaven and its angels were giving you. You knew you were about to make the right decision even if it meant that you disappointed God. But this was different from what your father did, right? Rebelling meant something completely different. You simply wanted to feel free and you knew you could never achieve that if you stayed in heaven. Would God hate you forever, like Lucifer?

“You know there´s literally no need for you to knock. We´ve talked about that, Mike.” you chuckled. Mike. That was the nickname you gave Michael a while ago. He seemed to like it so you kept calling him so.

“Yeah but what if you´re changing.” he entered, wearing his smirk. His appearance made you smile. Only a few more hours until you would be gone. Looking at him made you realize that, maybe, you would miss one thing. One angel. Him. He always had your back, told you stories about your father. Because of him, you knew you were nothing like Lucifer. Everything he had done? You used to be disgusted by sharing one bloodline. Michael, though, he helped you through all of your dark phases, telling you that you were so much better. Could do so much better. He knew you were no Devil. So did Gabriel and Raphael but Michael was another story. As mentioned, he meant a big deal to you, kind of being the father you always wished you had.

“What are you doing here? I thought you said you were busy today?” confusion was shown all over your face.

“Can´t miss my favorite´s birthday now, can I?” Micheal answered, stepping closer to your bed were you were currently sitting.

“Yeah...the big (Y/A), huh?” your eyes were focused on your hands in your lap. All of a sudden, you felt a wave of guilt hitting you. Micheal was far older than you yet had never left heaven. And you, you saw the first chance and were about to leave right away.

“You´re leaving, aren´t you?” you could feel his eyes on you but you did not dare to look at him. You would break down, something you definitely did not want to do.

“I never made a secret out of it.”

“Except for Dad.” Michael interjected.

“Except for him.” a door opening made the both of you look up.

“Father, we just talked about you.”

“Mike!” you glared at him.

“(Y/N), do you really think I don´t know what you´re planning?” God gave you a look of what you read as sympathy.

“But I never-”

“(Y/N). I´m God, did you forget that? I knew you were up to this for as long as you, trust me.” he made his way over to Michael and you, stopping right in front of you.

“You are mad.” again, your eyes drifted to your lap. You felt exposed in front of him.

“I`m not. I just want you to know that you will never feel this type of safety on Earth. Humans are...well, humans. You don´t belong there, (Y/N). You belong in heaven, like me, like Michael.” God tried reasoning. You were right, he wanted to change your mind.

“I might not be as safe but at least I would have freedom. Space to move. Not just one single chamber for eternity.” by now, tears of frustration were forming at the corner of your (Y/E/C) eyes. How could he be so convinced of himself? He had no idea of how you felt being locked up.

“(Y/N), sweetie, he just wants to keep you safe.” Michael said, putting one of his arms around your shoulders, something he did to calm you down.

“Are you serious, Mike? I thought you supported my plan? Have you been lying to me?” you shook his arm off of you, looking at him with a hurtful expression.

“No, never. I would never lie to you. (Y/N), just think this through.” Michael changed sides right in front of your eyes.

“Mike, you know I want that. You should, too.” by the last part you made sure to look straight at God.

“(Y/N), you´re special. Nobody will-”

“MAYBE I DON´T WANNA BE SPECIAL!” you screamed. This was the first time you ever raised your voice but you were so frustrated, so angry, that you did not know what else to do. Both, God and Michael were taken aback by your sudden outburst.

“All my life, you told me I was special. Well, for instance, I wouldn´t say being Satan´s daughter is special when I have never met him! I´m an angel with wings like everyone else and I happen to be Lucifer´s offspring BUT that doesn´t make me special, okay? What´s special about being in my chambers all day long, doing literally nothing but daydreaming? I´m leaving and you won´t be able to change my mind. I´ll be gone soon then you don´t have to worry about me anymore.” by the time you finished, you were facing the wall away from Michael and God.

“If you are leaving, don´t think about coming back. I gave you everything. Kept you and your not so special wings safe and that´s what I get in return? I´ll see you when you´re begging on your knees in front of heaven´s doors. Happy Birthday, (Y/N).” and with that, God left.

“Sure, special wings. Just because they´re not black like the others.” you mumbled under your breath. When you turned around, you still saw Michael sitting on your bed, looking at you expectantly. He did not leave with God and you were not quite sure why he was still with you after everything he just said.

“What?” you questioned after the staring became too uncomfortable for you.

“Just know that I still support you. Go to Earth, have adventures. If you ever need anything...I´m only one prayer away. Happy Birthday, sweetie. See you soon.” he was about to turn towards your door when you ran into his arms, hugging him with tears in your eyes.

“Mike? Thank you for everything you´ve ever done for me. You were the only one who accepted me from the first moment on. My wings didn´t matter to you, my origin didn´t matter to you. I mattered and I am forever grateful for that. I´d be happy if you visited me once, Mike. You´ll always be welcome to stay with me. Besides, you´ve never been to Earth either. It could be fun.” your eyes shined when you looked at his face, releasing the hug.

“It could be, yeah. Bye, (Y/N), take care of yourself.” before you had the chance to say anything back, you found yourself alone in your chambers. This was it. The moment you had waited (Y/A) years for. A few more minutes and your life could finally begin. Really begin. Without anyone judging you by your wings, by your father. Just (Y/N). You were ready for it. What city would you visit first? Paris? London? No. There had always been a city you were drawn to. Ironically, it was called the City of Angels aka Los Angeles. LA. Name it as you want. That would be your first stop. What would be waiting for you there? You were eager to find it out.

~to be continued~

Next Chapter

Published (08/24/2020) by Cathy

Tags: @fandomqueen2003, @natashaashleymarvelromanoff, @severewobblerlightdragon, @tenderlyunlikelyexpert, @zoseph, @comicbucky-s, @dad-ee-drea (let me know if you want to be tagged <3)

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thenotetoselfpod-hq · 3 years

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“The answer is yes if you were wondering if y’all were spoiled. Whew, Chile. Don’t ask me for NOTHIN’ else.” Zion chuckled sweetly as she dramatically cleared her throat. “Lets get into it. Welcome back to another episode of the Note to Self podcast where we talk all things self care of the body, spirit, mind, work ethic, sprinkled in with a whole lot of motivation to carry us into a new day. I am your host Zion Taylor and with me in my makeshift studio is my lil baby who listens to all of my problems, my boss friend THEEEEE Brilliant O’neal.” Zion air claps as she smiles over at Brilliant. “How are you on this lovely day, mama?”

“Hey, hey, hey! I’m so excited to speak to the note to self listeners all over, it’s been fun listening in and making my own input here and there but wheww being here feels so rewarding.” She said warmly before playfully exhaling. “I’m doing good, managing like I usually do but good nonetheless. How are you?! What jewels do you plan on dropping for the people today?”

“I’m probably doin’ a little less good than you since you’re managing but girl .. I cannot complain at all. So thankful to have you here for this episode and to just catch up. We’ll get into the tea of it all a little later. We start every episode with a brief recap and I wanted to thank everyone, again, for all of the love. I hope you all were inspired to really keep killing shit in the industry that you’re in and watch the doors open up for you. Last weeks top listeners were the beauty that is known as @royalnike who spoke about her Black Owned Mechanic business and the short term goals that she has for herself in that business. Of course you, Mrs. Brilli Dis, founder and owner of The Glamour Parlor, and the beautiful @syxrai, who I’m obsessed with on IG by the way, but who also is a film producer ALL shared your short term goals which inspired me tremendously. If you missed out on that go give it a listen and drop your own goals in the comment section.

Music is the only thing that gets me through my week sometimes. This week is on you because Channing is still pressed about Good Days so that shit rings in my head every day because of her.” Zion laughed, “What have you been listening to this week? Any new music you wanna share? Put us on.

Brilliant cracked up in laughter at the mention of Channing. “That baby got taste, because that’s my jam! But this week I’ve been on my Gangsta Brilli, I’ve been playing A Gangsta’s Pain by MoneyBagg on repeat. I think his track with Jhené is the perfect vibe, so if y’all need something to vibe to, with a nice little glass of wine, One of Dem Nights, but the whole album bops.”

“Okaaaay. Now see I haven’t always been a MoneyBaggYo fan up until his songs started getting airtime on the radio. I’ma definitely have to give that a listen once Channing is done boppin’ to her fave.

And that brings us right into the TEA for the day. I’ve known Brilliant for several years now and I feel like I’ve only known her as this amazing business women, wife and mother. We both know how crazy it can be going from Hashtag Living Single to Mommy Duties real quick once you’re married and have wifely duties, etc. How long did you know your Husband before you two decided to make it official AND tie the knot? Was marrying young something that you were open to or did it not matter? What’s that young love story you can’t wait to share with your kids?” Zion smiled as she looked over at Brilliant.

“So I always tell people that me and my husband’s love story is literally crazy, and I don’t think it could’ve happened any other way. Because were short on time, for the real how we met tea, watch our YouTube video! But..I think we dated for about a year before I got pregnant and just because of the type of man he is and how in love we were, and how happy we were when our son Justice was born, we got married when he was about 3 months. I honestly didn’t see myself marrying that young or having children..and my life did a whole 180. I just thought damn I’ll probably hate it here but when you have that person to make those defining moments with..it was a breeze and I found myself being happier with my little family than when I ran the streets. I don’t think marrying young is for everyone but when you make the right decision..man the moments you’ll create..priceless. Still a hot girl though, don’t get that twisted.” She said with a playful laugh.

“EXACTLYYY. I have to remind Lex all the time when he sees me playing dress up in my boots and coochie cutters that mama BEEN a stallion, okay?! Hot Girl Summer me, please!” She laughed, “No but seriously the feeeeels. I’m obsessed with the love you two have for each other. It’s infectious. But I’m sure it hasn’t always been cupcakes and rainbows, right. Y’all, shit gets real after the wedding and the vows and even after that honeymoon phase. I know for me and Carmelo, I’m more of the opinionated one and I really had to learn to step down and let my man LEAD our home. We were pregnant before the wedding ... liiike ya girl had her dress taken OUT 4 times before I was satisfied with how my hips looked in it.” She chuckled, “You said something so special, when you have that person to make memories with you will DEFINITELY not want to live a single day without them and expanding that love into children only makes it better. Melo was trying to get me pregnant BEFORE he proposed to me and I wasn’t having it because at the time I was dealing with fertility issues and having a baby seemed damn near impossible. I always say that he spoke the life of our son, Lexington, into existence because I didn’t think that I could physically carry.” She stated, smiling again at the thought.

“I remember you alls last video where you announced the pregnancy of my other child, Jewel” She chuckled, “Um, what was the experience like for you? Having to go through all that you did for the blessing that is currently your literal shadow. She looks like her Daddy but has your everything else. What was that like?”

“That’s your child for sure.” She said with a laugh. “It was actually on the difficult side, she’s my rainbow baby. I suffered a miscarriage and some issues with fertility so I actually got pregnant with Jewel through IVF. I adore her, it’s scary having a mini version of myself. Someone who’s with all my hair, makeup and nail antics because my son Justice is not with it at all! He won’t even let me take his picture half the time.” She laughed momentarily. “I know it’s the same way with you and my baby Channing”

“I can imagine it being extremely difficult. When God’s mind is made up we can only pray that He’s included us in His plans and when he made Channing? He definitely had me in mind.” She laughed. “I still don’t know how we got so lucky but I don’t question anything. She’s obsessed with all of my clothes and hair and everything in between.”

“The last thing I wanted to talk to you about is what’s been going on in the media with Porsha, Falynn, and the Husband who I don’t even know his name yet. So Porsha Williams brought onto the Real Housewives of Atlanta show her friend Falynn a few years ago. Maybe like two seasons ago. This is someone who was also featured on this last season of the RHOA show that was filmed in 2020. Apparently the two are no longer friends and Porsha is now ENGAGED to Falynns’ Husband because they haven’t even gotten a divorce yet. I wan’t to know your thoughts on the whole situation. What type of friendship dynamic do you think they had for Porsha to be comfortable MARRYING this man?”

“Engaged. To. A. Former. Friend’s. Husband.” She said slowly before letting out a low sigh. “Now, the first mistake she made was being engaged or dating a man who is still married. I don’t care what the circumstances are, he is legally married! It is literally code and decency not to date or marry after your friends. If y’all are friends or have ever called each other friends, that’s just unacceptable. I would beat the breaks off anyone I called a friend for going after my husband if we ever were to divorce. That’s just grimy and I don’t think Falynn is mad enough. I do know though, one of my followers who is a hair stylist said how she married one of her old client’s ex husband and child’s father. Do you think that’s acceptable? Say I did a woman’s hair for years and nothing besides that and I went on to date her ex?”

“Absolutely not. Unacceptable and I’m the type of crazy that belongs in jail so you already know how that’s gone gooo. It’ll forever be up until they give me life.” Zion laughed and shook her head, “Period. Porsha is most definitey a fucked up individual but I would LOVE to hear y’alls thoughts on the matter so leave alll comments in the comment section below.”

“Thank you all so much for listening to me and Brilliant catch up. Brilliant please tell my listeners where they can follow you and how they can support The Glamour Parlour. Alsooo, when’s the next brunch or giveaway?”

“It has been sooo fun talking with you! I’m glad I got the opportunity to talk with to boss friend Zion! I get this question a lot..so often.” She let out a low laugh. “All I’ll say is to stay tuned, we’ll be turning up soon and the giveaways won’t stop!”

“Ayyyy so there it is people, the beautiful Brilliant O’neal. Be sure to check her out across all social media platforms at @brillixdis and I’ll talk to you in the next episode. Byyyyyyyye.”

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standbi-ghost · 3 years

Text

Guess I’ll Just kms

Words: 1812

TRIGGER WARNINGS: Suicide (technically), suicidal thoughts, panic attack

Go say hi on AO3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27387829

In order to go ghost, Danny has to kill himself. It isn’t that bad really, but when his mom finds a journal where he keeps track of the best ways to kill himself (which sounds sketch in and of itself) and thinks he’s suicidal, he has an important decision to make.

It was a grounding feeling; the cold touch of a knife pressed to his throat. What once would’ve frightened him to no end, was now becoming something of a constant in his otherwise chaotic life. He let the knife find its keep and in seconds, his Jugular vein was sliced.

As he let the all too familiar feeling of his ghostly transformation happen, he couldn’t help but chuckle at the ghastliness of his situation. Was this technically suicide? No, probably not, it’s not like he was actually dying, just, playing dead. Lots of animals do it in self-defense and this wasn’t that far off. Plus, Danny knew he didn’t want to die, or in his case, cease to exist, right?

Shaking the thoughts out of his head, he turned to see Skulker already in a fighting stance. He sighed and shot into the sky ready for the chase to begin.

At the cursed hour of 4 in the morning, Danny found himself sneaking into his own room. He flopped onto his mattress and let out a long, well-deserved mind you, groan.

He felt like he’d been run over by a car which was probably because that’s exactly what happened. Hey, to be fair, he had also been invisible. How was the poor driver supposed to know Danny was stupidly floating in the middle of the road? The driver was fine too, a little shaken up but he managed to phase him out of his car before any damage was done to him.

He lazily snaked his arm into his abandoned backpack and pulled out a dying black notebook barely holding itself together by a thread. There were rips, tears, and folds everywhere and a suspicious amount of green and brown stains were spattered throughout the pages. He liked to joke that it was his own personal Death Note except the only one doing any dying was him. It had started out as a way to record which death methods were quick and easiest, which were dramatic but efficient, which shouldn’t be tried again, but it had developed into a coping mechanism of sorts, some kind of morbid diary filled with a mixture rants and execution plans. He flipped to the next clean page and began to write his death-of-the-day and the events that followed.

A sinking calm settled into his core as he continued to rant about missing yet another test because of Skulker. He was halfway done with the entry when his eyes began to flutter closed, no longer being able to fight his body’s plea for rest.

He didn’t hear the soft creak of his door open, didn’t see the hand reach out and take his notebook, didn’t feel that same hand run itself through his hair, giving way for a pair of lips to kiss his forehead.

When his alarm went off at the usual 6 am it always did, he didn’t notice the suffocating stagnant air in the room, just stretched out his sore limbs, rubbed his eyes awake, and went on with his usual morning routine.

As he made his way downstairs, Danny made sure to annoyingly, as any younger sibling should, yell at his sister.

“Jazz I swear to the Ancients that if you try and leave without me again, I will piss your pants, you know I can’t be late again, Mr. Lancer-”

His voice trailed off when he took in the sight of his parents before him.

His dad was avoiding direct eye contact in the most obvious manner. His mom was wearing a watery smile, most likely trying to mask whatever had both his parents so tense. For a second, he panicked. Had they figured it out? What was it? Was it the mannerism, the eyes, the hair?

“Danny?”

He looked up from his panicked haze and saw concern plastered on both his parents’ faces. It looked wrong.

“Uh- where’s Jazz?” he asked, looking around in a last-ditch effort to crawl out from under their crushing gaze.

“Jazz left for school early today, something about a meeting with one of the counselors” his dad quietly responded, almost like he was tiptoeing around Danny, which set off all kinds of red flags.

For one it was hard to forget his dad could even be that subdued, the man practically radiated excitement. He also seemed, tired. Not the kind of tired you get after working at a lab all day, no, this was a soul-crushing tired, one that reflected inner turmoil. He looked away to catch his mom’s gaze only to look Danny in the eyes again, a forced smile finding its way on his face.

“Danny boy, we just wanted to talk to you about some- about how you’re doing.”

“I- uh, don’t know what you mean dad” he stuttered out.

“You’ve just been really closed off lately and, as your parents, we worry Danny.”

He turned his wide eyes towards his mother. Had he heard her right? They worried? Had he been worrying his parents? Was he a distraction? He was already indirectly messing with their inventions but now he was distracting them too. What kind of son-

“I’m fine. I mean, school’s been, uh- something, but I’ve been dealing- “

“Danny, are you suicidal?”

It came out as a whisper, but it echoed loudly in his head.

All he could do was stare, mouth agape, desperately trying to form words in his favor.

Heavy wasn’t the right word to describe the air in the room. Suffocating came closer. How was he even supposed to respond to that? If he told his parents the truth, they would hate him for keeping it a secret for so long. For lying to them, manipulating them, making a fool out of them. They would do much worse than dissect him, they would no longer see him as their son and that cut deeper than any scalpel could. On the other hand, if he lied and told them he was suicidal, they would ship him off to a loony bin. They would stuff him with pills and strip his mind away from him leaving him an empty husk of a person. And would it even be a lie? How many times had the thought crossed his mind? How many times had he begged for death at the end of an alleyway, at the bottom of a ditch, passed out at the foot of his bed, only to get up, dust off, and continue to live- no- to exist as a drone.

His breath began to pick up- could he even call it a breath? He knew if he didn’t say something, anything, his parents would come up with their own answer. What was the question again? Why couldn’t he think straight? He would lose any and all control he may have had. Was he in control? Why couldn’t he control his own body? His own mind? His thoughts were racing, and he was dragging behind them. Why was everything moving so fast? Why couldn’t he catch a break for once? He felt like a cornered animal, quite literally too. A feral growl crawled out of his throat as he backed himself into a wall, attempting to make himself look less pathetic. Attempting to make himself look like a threat. Maybe then they’ll go away. Maybe then he would stop hurting so much.

Don’t let them know you’re weak.

They’ll hurt you.

They won’t understand.

They’ll never love you.

How could they love you?

You-

“Danny”

And just like that, the fog dispersed and he was left stranded in the empty halls of his mind. He felt the cold wall behind him taunting him with its cold embrace.

“Danny it’s okay, you’re okay, breathe”

That was his mom’s voice. He felt the adrenaline seep out of him, embarrassment taking its place. That was all the confirmation they needed. He was fucked. No matter what they thought of him before, nothing could erase the scene he had just caused. Ancients he was fucked. What even was that? What normal person freaks out over a simple question?

He groaned as he let his face fall into the palm of his hands. He felt a wave of shame wash over him as his mom took him in her arms.

For a moment everything was back to normal. There was still tension in the air, but it all melted in the warm embrace of his mom.

“I found your notebook last night.”

And with that, it all made sense. He flinched out of her embrace and felt shame at seeing the hurt on her face the action caused. He couldn’t help the chuckle that escaped his chapped lips. Of course, the one escape he had was what had exposed him. It was naïve of him to think that no one would find the notebook he practically carried everywhere. Sooner or later this had been bound to happen, he just hoped it would be later. He had been careless and now he was paying for it.

“I guess I should come clean huh?” He would be lying if he said he wasn’t scared, terrified, but he couldn’t shake the possibility that maybe, maybe, his parents would support him, be there for him. The very thought left a warm feeling in him.

“It started a few weeks before Freshman year...”

And so, he let the dam break. 3 years filled with pain and fear poured out in a flurry of words. He found that, once he started, he couldn’t stop.

He couldn’t help but flinch as his dad reached out and took his small hands in his. He looked him dead in the eyes, searching for confirmation, that this was okay, and when Danny nodded, he pulled him into a bone-crushing hug, his mom following closely behind.

“Oh Danny, how could you not tell us?” his dad asked.

“We’re sorry for making you feel anything but loved and accepted. There is nothing you could do or become that could get rid of our love for you.”

So that’s how he found himself skipping school, in a cuddle pile with his parents, binge-watching Star Wars, Marvel movies, and the occasional Space Documentary.

And when Jazz got home after school that evening, she didn’t question the sight of her parents holding on to Danny for dear life in the middle of their living room, caught in a pile of pillows, blankets, and love, acceptance. She just smiled, shook her head, and made her way up the stairs.

She would have a talk with her brother about his mental health another time. Right now, she knew, everything would be okay.

“oh uh, you guys should probably stay far away from the red bulls in my room.”

“Wha- “

“I may or may not have filled them with arsenic...”

“Daniel James Fenton”

“It's death on the go!”

Everything would be okay.

#yall want angst?#angst #Danny Phantom #danny fenton #danny phantom au #alternate universe #fentons #maddie fenton #jack fenton #jazz fenton #fanfiction #suicide?#not really #panic attack #identity reveal #family fluff #angst with a happy ending

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greekgeek21 · 3 years

Text

Percy Jackson & The Avengers: Convergence - filler chapters save lives

Hey...

- your (extremely sorry and depressed) author

Disclaimer: I don't own PJO or the Avengers.

Ω ♆ Ω

This was inevitable. Percy was a ball of nuclear energy just counting down to an explosion. It wasn't a matter of if that energy broke free, but a matter of when. The group had thought it had happened when he set off a tropical storm in the middle of Nevada, but they were wrong. He had truly lost control only moments before...

when he killed a man.

Ω ♆ Ω

Percy didn't even spare a glance at the crumpled body before he rushed to Annabeth's side. His eyes raked over her body, checking for injury. When he found none, he pulled her into him, hugging her like she was his lifeline (and she practically was).

"I'm sorry I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry..." he whispered in Ancient Greek over and over again in her ear, "I love you, I love you, I love you..."

Tears were slipping down both their cheeks, but they didn't move to wipe them away, likely neither of them had even realised they were crying. The couple was in their own world. One where only they existed and nobody could bother them.

It wasn't to last, though.

Someone on the team had to break the silence, and of course it was Tony, "As much as I hate to break this up, can we please get off this goddamned island now?"

He was speaking with false-sarcasticness, but nobody pointed it out. Everyone but Annabeth and Percy's eyes were on the body, or what was supposed to be one. Instead of a humanoid shape, it was a crumpled ball of bones, tissue, and blood. It was an awful sight, truly. Nothing was natural about it.

For everyone there, including the other demigods, it was eye-opening into the more blood-thirsty side of the divine world. Percy's powers were derived from the gods, and they allowed him to be able to do something like this. It was horrifying.

Ω ♆ Ω

Annabeth was the first of the two to come to her senses. She gently pushed back against Percy's embrace, signaling that it was time to come back to the real world; where they had to address what he had done. But that could wait. For now, Annabeth decided the best thing to do was to get everyone home safely.

"We should go, Percy," she whispered.

"I know. I'm scared, though," he spoke in Greek.

He did that sometimes, when he had a particularly bad PTSD episode. It was his mind's way of protecting itself. Even though he had spoken only English for the first twelve years of his life, his first language would always be Ancient Greek, just like all Greek demigods. It was the same for any type of demigod. They were born that way.

However, this wasn't an episode. This was his actions catching up to him. This was his world spinning on its axis once again.

Secretly, Annabeth had feared something like this would happen eventually. He was pushing down so much power, it was bound to break through at one point. That's why she had slowly been trying to coax him to use his powers fully again. Her theory was that the more he used them, the more control he would have on them, and the less they would be fighting against his willpower. He was a battery, and he needed to let some of the energy out every so often.

She would have to be more direct about her suspicions now. When they got home, that is. After he had time to adjust again.

It seemed like they were always adjusting now.

"I know, Seaweed Brain, I know. Let's just work on getting home, first, though. Ok?" she said.

She felt him nod against her neck before he pulled away from her, only to wrap an arm around shoulders a second later. He needed to feel her against him as a calming reassurance. And she needed him for the same reason.

They faced their team. Because that was what they were now, a team. They weren't the Seven and the Avengers anymore. They had been through too much in such a short span of time for them to be separate teams anymore.

"Let's go home," Annabeth announced, and started the trip back through the tunnel with Percy at her side, just like he would always be.

Ω ♆ Ω

Later, after Percy and Annabeth had disappeared into one of the cabins together, the rest of the team met up on the deck. Hazel would normally not like going behind their friend's backs to talk about them like this, but even she thought this meeting was important. This would decide Percy's fate once they reached the mainland again.

"Ok, who wants to start?" Hazel asked, after they had all just stood there in silence for a minute.

If nobody else was going to speak, then she was going to. She wanted this to be over as soon as possible. She had already made her decision regarding her cousin, and it would never change. That she was sure of.

"I can," Jason answered.

All eyes turned to him, but that did not phase him. He was trained to be a leader from a very young age. Having people look at him while he made speeches was part of the job description.

"I support my family, and Percy is family. What he did was horrible, obviously, but it wasn't anything the rest of us wouldn't have done in the same situation. He probably is going to punish himself more than anything else we could do to him. We need to show him that we are still his team, his family."

The rest of the demigods nodded firmly, agreeing with this. They knew Percy. They knew that what Jason had said was very true. Instead of punishing him, they needed to help show him that he was not a horrible person. Otherwise something like this would just happen again.

Time would just keep repeating itself.

The Avengers all glanced at one another, all unsure where to stand in this. Sure, they had learned a lot about the teen since they had first met, but none of them could be sure that this was just a fluke; that something like this wouldn't keep happening if they didn't do anything about it.

"How can we be sure that he won't do something like this again?" Natasha asked, a firm expression trained somehow on all five demigods present.

"We can't. But we CAN try our best to ensure that there is almost no chance. Percy has SO MUCH power, and he has been pushing it down in himself for months. That caused it to react harshly with his emotions. I'm sure Annabeth and Percy both know this. He needs help, not punishment," Piper answered, almost matching Nat's glare perfectly.

Steve spoke up next, "He killed someone, Piper. That can't go unpunished."

Piper kaleidoscope eyes seemed to flash brightly at the captain, "And you haven't killed someone, Captain? In the name of war? Love? How is what Percy did any different than you blowing up some hydra base?"

"That man down there is the best and most loyal man you'll ever meet. I can promise you that," Frank added in, "He would never do something to hurt a good person, not intentionally, just like the rest of us."

Bruce spoke up with fire, surprising everyone, "But that's exactly our point! He would never do something to hurt a good person INTENTIONALLY! But what about unintentionally?!"

Leo's nostrils flared, "You, out of everyone here, have no right to say that...Hulk."

Bruce looked like he had been slapped at first, but then his expression shifted into something resembling sheepishness.

Leo's flaming gaze (literally, his hair was smoking) passed over the rest of the Avengers, looking for any more objections. When he found none, he gave a curt nod of approval.

"I guess that's that, then, isn't it?" he said, and promptly went below deck.

Ω ♆ Ω

Percy and Annabeth were snuggled as close as possible on the bed in their cabin. Not a word beyond 'I love you' had been spoken between them yet. They just clutched onto each other like the other would disappear again any second.

Finally, after an hour had passed, Annabeth spoke, "We need to talk about it, Perce."

His head childishly shook. The sides of Annabeth's mouth lifted just a bit at the sign that her Percy wasn't completely hidden.

"I know it's hard, but we have to. You have to be ready to talk about it with the rest of the team later. They'll want answers, and I want you to be able to give them. It'll be easier with me first," she said, pushing a hand gently through his unruly raven-colored hair.

"You can answer in Greek if you have to. And you don't have to give long answers, you just have to say something," she reassured, "Does that sound ok?"

Percy took a deep breath before nodding his head.

"I'll start off simple. What are you feeling right now?" Annabeth asked.

He took a second to respond, but Annabeth was willing to give him all the time needed to form an answer, so long as he gave one.

"I'm tired. So tired, Wise Girl. My stomach hurts and I feel like my skin is on fire. But most of all, I feel like I don't even know myself anymore. I killed a mortal, Annabeth! How could I even look at myself again?" he answered in Greek.

Annabeth's heart broke just a little, "Oh, Percy. I know who you are. You are my adorable, powerful, and loving Seaweed Brain. You love your mother and blue food, and most of all, you love your purpose. You were put here to protect people, and that is what you did today. You protected me, okay? You didn't do anything that I wouldn't have done to save you. And I love you for it."

"But I KILLED a man, Annabeth! How can you even stand to look at me right now?!" he shouted, bursted out of her arms and off the bed.

Tears were starting to form on his lower eyelids.

"Because you are the love of my life, Perseus Jackson, and nothing you could ever do would make me love you less!" she shouted.

Good, Percy thought, Yell at me. Punish me for what I did. I deserve it.

As if she could read his thoughts, Annabeth yelled, "No! You do not get to manipulate me into punishing you for doing something that that horrible man deserved! You are not perfect, Percy, and neither am I. If you hadn't killed him, I probably would have! We are not perfect people, and we never will be. We're screwed up in the head, but we have each other! I will NOT let you go back into yourself."

"But that's the only way I can protect you! I have to hold it in!"

She sighed, "Percy, look at the facts. The only times you've put people in danger have been when you were holding your powers in. You need to let them out consistently in order to stop these large bursts from happening every time you get pissed off!"

Percy was silent, staring at the floor and mulling over her words. When he looked up, a tear had slipped down his cheek, "What if I'm too scared?"

"I'll help you. We all will, Perce. The entire team wants you to feel comfortable using your abilities. We can start off with taking you to some uninhabitable island or something. You just need to make sure you aren't pushing your powers down anymore," Annabeth answered, "Okay? Can you promise me you'll try?"

Reluctantly, Percy nodded, "I swear on the River Styx that I'll try to control and understand my powers."

Annabeth's eyes widened, but then she was crushing Percy in a hug, pulling back only to kiss him.

"I love you, Seaweed Brain."

"I love you, Wise Girl."

Ω ♆ Ω

"Well I guess that settles it then, doesn't it? We trust those ungrateful ingrates now apparently," Tony sighed, tacking a swig from a flask he had procured from somewhere and walking away from the Avengers.

You could always count on Tony Stark to simplify emotional situations. His only goal was to make them last less, though, whereas most of the Avengers wanted to talk it over some more. That wasn't on his agenda. Tony had his own agenda and discussing whether or not a teenager killing a terrorist was warrant for serious punishment was not on it.

Steve shared an annoyed look with Bruce before he nodded, "I guess it is. We'll have to discuss it with Percy when we get back to the tower, but for now, let's just get some rest."

"Yes, sir, Captain," Clint smirked, mirth flashing in his irises before he pulled Natasha over to lean against the railing around the deck.

They were no-doubt not going to let themselves get any rest, but Steve knew well enough by now to let it go. The spies ran on their own fuel and it clearly did not come from sleep, if the amount of times he'd actually seen them asleep counted for anything.

Bruce however, he could count on to actually follow orders, even if they were thinly-veiled ones. The scientist nodded his head at Steve, a small smile curving his lips, before he went below deck, likely to find a nice place to take a nap.

Steve, not wanting to seem like a hypocrite, followed after Bruce. He found an empty cabin quickly, and let himself fall into a light nap. If he had to, he could jump right into action, but he had to let his body get some rest.

He only hoped that the teens on board were doing the same.

Ω ♆ Ω

Steve was right, for the most part. Almost all of the Seven were resting. Key word: almost. Leo Valdez, ever the hyperactive inventor, was down in his makeshift shop, working on the design for his newest project.

The idea had come to him that day, when he saw how broken Percy looked. He had seen that look in his eyes before, right after the man had come out of Tartarus and he was determined to never see it cross his friend's face again. After everything Percy had done for him, Leo thought he deserved some peace of mind.

His idea was to design something to allow Percy to sleep peacefully. Something like this could help present and future generations of demigods forever. But if he was being honest, he had gotten the idea from the dreamless-sleep draught potion from Harry Potter. Before he had learned he was a demigod, he was a diehard potterhead. It was something he had managed to keep a secret from his new life for now, but it was coming in handy now.

Since he didn't have magic abilities like the wizards from the books, he had to compromise with what he DID have, which was a genius-level intellect, spare scrap metal, and some duct tape.

He had come up with more from less.

Leo figured that he could make a contraption that could connect with Percy's brain synapses and withhold some from firing, but only the ones in the hippocampus, the part of the brain that controls dreams. He also had to restrict it to nightmares only, because demigods needed dreams to make sure they didn't die. He just had to make sure he didn't accidentally cause Percy permanent brain damage. This particular part of the brain was vital in his daily function, so it would really suck if it stopped working properly.

At the moment, Leo was drawing out his designs on some paper he had pulled from his belt. His mind was working faster than his hand could, so it was taking longer than he would have preferred.

After an hour of careful and deliberate strokes of a pencil hitting paper, his head popped up from the desk, with a loud shout of "aha!", signalling his completion.

"Gods, I really am a genius, aren't I?" he muttered to himself in awe had he inspected the blueprint for mistakes.

"Talking to yourself again, Leo?" Jason commented, startling Leo as he entered the room, "That's not helping your case claiming sanity."

"Sweet Circe! Don't DO that, Sparky!" he shouted, nearly jumping out of his seat.

"If you were paying attention, you would have noticed me knocking on the door for the past two minutes, weirdo," Jason responded.

Leo rolled his eyes. His best friend knew very well that he lost himself when he was working, especially when it was something this important.

"What are you working on?" The son of Jupiter asked.

Leo grinned, eager to present his project, "I can't build it here, not without the proper equipment to test it, but I already designed it. I call it Papa Leo's Nightmare-restricting Device, or P.L.N.R.D. It's to make it so demigods can sleep without having nightmares. Like it?"

The son of Hephaestus wished he had a camera to take a picture of Jason's face at that moment. It was priceless.

Just when he was contemplating trying to pull on out of his belt, Jason pulled him into a rough hug, squeezing him until he couldn't breathe.

"Jace, I. Can't. Breathe!" he wheezed out.

He was ignored.

"Oh, you beautiful genius! I could kiss you!"

He was spun around in a circle.

"Please don't, it would suck to explain that to Piper," Leo joked once he had been allowed to stand again.

"I gotta tell the others! They're gonna be so excited!" he went to rush off, but Leo grabbed his arm before he could.

"Let's not...yet, okay? I just want to make sure that I get it finished and working before I tell the others. I don't want to let them down if I can't make it work," he said to explain his actions.

Jason looked like he didn't believe that would ever happen, but he gave Leo a brotherly pat on the shoulder, "Ok, McShizzle. I'll keep it to myself for now."

"Thanks."

"No problem, bro."

"Gods, you are such a bro-boy. It's like living around a frat house."

"You take that back!"

"Never!"

Ω ♆ Ω

Sorry for how many time skips/section separators I'm using. I guess it's part of my writing style now. This is on FF, Inkitt, Ao3, Webnovel, and Wattpad too. Like, reblog, & follow!

- your (extremely apologetic) author

other chapters :)

#pjo #fanfic #ao3 #wattpad #inkitt #ff #percy jackon and the olympians #heroes of olympus #the seven #the avengers #mcu #marvel #webnovel #sorry this is so late

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bl4cklabyrinth · 4 years

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ROCKIN’ON JAPAN August 2016 Interview Translation: Hiro talks about ANTITHESE, Budokan, and his past

Disclaimer: Please do not retranslate my work into other languages, as my translation may not be accurate. I am no Japanese or English native.

The biggest thank you to Anna for helping me get the magazine clippings!

Photo from here.

To what fate was he born and chosen to sing?

Thoughts on his family, his upbringing – a 20,000-character tell-all interview

To be honest, I didn’t expect Hiro to tell me this much about his life. By the time he responded to my proposal for a 20,000-character interview, he was already prepared to talk about his thoughts on his family, his upbringing, and what his songs mean to him. Be that as it may, I wasn’t expecting to hear so much about his conflicts with his family, his love towards them that was clearly in a changing phase, and the loneliness and circumstances he suffers from that no one else could ever experience.

Hiro tells us the reason behind this as he explains his relationship with (ROCKIN’ON) JAPAN, but he also details the story of how MY FIRST STORY created the masterpiece “ANTITHESE” and decided to stand on the fated Budokan stage. I believe Hiro’s songs will change immensely from hereon – they will become more impulsive, more passionate, and elicit stronger feelings of great potential. The life he is in, the life he is destined to live, in which singing was a matter of course from the moment he was born. This interview is a complete narrative of the turning point that made a significant change to his story, and the masterpiece of an album that was a turning point in itself. I hope you take the time to read it thoroughly.

- I think Hiro has dealt with loneliness and frustration really well over the years and has had to carry things from his upbringing that others couldn’t even begin to fathom. I feel like the time you’ve spent fighting like that has become the foundation of your form of expression. In that sense, the album “ANTITHESE” shows a lot about your personality, so for you to talk about your life is the same as talking about this album.

Hiro: Yes, that’s right.

- Hiro wrote most of the songs as far as this album is concerned. Did this result in more Hiro songs?

Hiro: For this album, I thought of doing it all myself. For the longest time, it was always Sho who would make the original demos, add the melodies, change the chords, and subarrange, among other things. This time, I made the foundation for it myself. Rearranging it further was the hardest part, but it was the perfect timing and I knew I had to take charge, so I made up my mind to do so from the start. There was an overwhelming theme to this album and it couldn’t be done without me, so I thought that I should be the one making it.

- Asking this now may seem out of the blue, but what is this overwhelming theme?

Hiro: My number one goal, or rather, what inspired me the most was definitely Budokan. It wasn’t finalized yet when we first started working on this album, but I felt like I could go to Budokan if we made this album. When I thought about what kind of album I should make for this purpose, I had an album in mind that I wanted to surpass no matter what, and I thought it made sense to go through trial and error to achieve that goal. That’s where the title “ANTITHESE” came from – the main point was to have an antithesis to a thesis. That was the biggest thing for me.

- So there was a clearly defined rival.

Hiro: Yes. It’s an album title that those in the music business, those who know of us, and those who are fans would definitely notice. On top of that, I knew it would without a doubt be the most controversial album of all time. I could’ve ignored that fact for a long while, but I have a tendency to look at things from a bird’s eye view. When the members became 4, when Budokan was decided, and when things started popping out left and right, I knew I shouldn’t run away from it forever. When the date for Budokan was set, I sort of felt like it was fate. I had never had a moment in my life where everything just clicked like this. If everything was connected up to this point and the ties will not be severed from hereon, then maybe I too should try riding the wave of that thread. With that in mind, I created this album.

- I see. The work on this album starts with the single “ALONE”, a song that focuses on “the proof of existence”. It’s very easy to understand that that’s where the story begins, because Hiro writes a lot about himself. I suppose the line “I’ve risked it all, even if it almost tore my lost heart into pieces” in “Nothing In The Story” is what your heart is screaming.

Hiro: That’s right.

- “I’ve risked everything for this,” you say. I’m sure you’ve had some frustration in not being able to express those feelings directly, but I also assume you tried to view things from a different point of view and accept that that’s just the way things are. However, you’d go, “If I do let things stay the way they are, my story will not move on from here.”

Hiro: That’s true. I’m not mature enough to be enlightened on the way things are, and no matter how hard I look at the bigger picture, subjectivity definitely goes in there somewhere. It wasn’t something I could give up so easily.

- You didn’t want to be compared to anyone else, you wanted to be recognized for who you are and move upwards as you are now.

Hiro: That’s what I find most difficult. It would be unbearable if I think about it too much, and I don’t know the right thing to do either. I am who I am now because of everything I’ve been through. If you are currently at a certain point in your life, then to go back to square one would be to deny the person you are today, but it all gets complicated when you’re not content with where you are now. I think this album was about coming to terms with that and deciding what to do from there.

- You’ve written all sorts of songs, but you’re only trying to say one thing. You’re earnestly writing songs that convey, “It’s these things that have made me who I am”.

Hiro: That’s right. The theme was hard.

- “Kimi no Uta”, for instance. It’s all in Japanese.

Hiro: I used more Japanese this time. It was composing the songs that was harder than anything else. The lyrics weren’t easy either, but once I got them right, I went deep into writing them. I’m not the type to compose music logically at all. I’d start with a melody and add backing tracks little by little, but if a good melody doesn’t come up then it doesn’t get my approval. Apart from that, this time I had an overwhelming challenge in mind that I didn’t want to be pulled too far in the direction of, but if I strayed too far away from it, I might not be able to get the message across. It was really, really difficult at the time.

- In any case, you’re calling this album “ANTITHESE”, so it wasn’t about making something friendly and having the world accept it. For Hiro, making “ANTITHESE” wasn’t about creating an album showcasing your skills or technique. It was about putting everything you had on the line.

Hiro: I’ve been trying not to show much of myself for as long as I could remember, but I couldn’t help thinking that this work was non-negotiable. I felt like I was finally going somewhere. It’s really scary, though. In the past, I would’ve had a wider perspective in choosing which songs I liked on the album, what order I should put the songs in, or which songs would be a hit among the rest, but this time I didn’t think about any of that at all. I was completely engrossed in making this album, so much so that it was the first time in a long while that I was able to relax after I finished recording “Home” last and wondered if the album was going to be okay. I had never made an album this controversial before, so I’m really looking forward to seeing how people react to it, having made it on the assumption that it was going to be criticized.

- So you recorded “Home” last.

Hiro: It was the very last song I recorded.

- This is the final number, right? People would think, “Are you really gonna write this much?” You’re literally singing about your family.

Hiro: That’s right. Really though, this song has everything you need for a 20,000-character interview (laughs). As I had come to accept myself recently, I wanted to express something that I had finally been able to digest. Up until now, I’d been depicting it in a very abstract way. I thought I had dipped my toes in the water for some songs, but I had never really submerged myself into it. That was the case for “Itsuwari NEUROSE” – I thought that that would be the be-all and end-all. When I pondered on which part of myself I personally wanted to share, I thought that the circumstances I grew up with and the sensibilities I had at the time were everything. Then I thought to myself, “There’s no other band like this”. I’d been asked what sets us apart from other bands in other interviews, but it isn’t about losing or not losing. I can say with absolute confidence that they couldn’t possibly win. It feels like I’m the main character in a role-playing game. The protagonist never dies, right? They come back to life over and over again until they defeat the last boss, they level up and equip all sorts of weapons. I had a much stronger feeling than certainty that I couldn’t die. That being the case, when I considered what everyone wanted to see, I thought that it would be the moment the hero takes down the villain and the ending. I think that is our story. We’re probably the easiest and hardest band to empathize with, but it was only recently that I realized that we are the ones who could change that. It was only recently that I’d come to deal with that fact. That was around last winter, when we were in the middle of making the album. I feel like I had finally changed my destiny with this album. For this reason, I thought that I wouldn’t be able to beat the almighty devil king or god unless I read the story behind why they appeared in the first place. Then, I linked that to my own life. However, I think that prologue would look completely different from the hero’s point of view and the villain’s point of view. Because of this, I didn’t want to end things with only one side of the story. To put it another way, that (one side) would be the most dominant part of my personality. As I see it, I feel like my past is my everything. However it may have been, I’ve always wanted to relay everything in a song, but I couldn’t, and I didn’t know how. But once we decided to create this album, it all felt like it was going to be fine. Down to the music and the lyrics, we had a specific theme and image for each song, especially for “Home”. I think this song plays the most important role out of all of the songs we’ve made thus far. The very existence of this song will lead to so many things.

- To use your words just now, if you don’t write this song, you wouldn’t be able to show the side of you that makes you who you are and the side of you that you have to look into the most, which will lead to you being judged.

Hiro: Yes. I think about myself quite often, don’t I? Well… Would it be okay to tell you everything?

- Of course. If you have a lot to say, please go ahead.

Hiro: Alright. Lately, I’ve been thinking a lot about how there’s no other family as ridiculous as ours. No other family has changed the industry like ours has. Both parents sing, and their sons sing as well. Moreover, two of those sons are in a band. I don’t think it’s common for most families to have thoroughbreds succeed thoroughbreds, and you don’t see families where most of the members get to stand on the Budokan stage very often either (laughs). I thought that being able to do that was fate. I was born into such a family, and even though I was the one who decided to go down this path, I feel like even that was predetermined. Just because I started making music doesn’t mean I’ll be able to play at Budokan. I think the odds of that happening are astronomical already. But I’d been fighting against those odds ever since, so if I had already made it this far, then maybe I should ride that fate out and see where it takes me. I wanted to see how things pan out, and that’s what changed within me.

- I see.

Hiro: Our guitarist Sho went on hiatus, Masack left the band and we became 4, we released an album, then decided on Budokan which will be taking place on November 18th. Budokan’s schedule is pretty packed, isn’t it? I don’t think that us being able to hold a show there in November was a coincidence. With all this happening one after the other, I couldn’t make excuses for myself anymore. That being said, what do I do now? When we first started the band, I was thinking of saying it all at Zepp, but when I got to stand there, I thought I wasn’t ready to talk yet. The view from the stage as a performer was closer than I thought it would be when I was still watching as a part of the audience. Because of that fear, I thought it was a bit too early to be talking about Budokan. But when I thought about it clearly, Budokan would be a slightly different case compared to Yokohama Arena or Saitama Super Arena. Budokan and Tokyo Dome were different. Then when I wondered how many years it would take for us to get to Tokyo Dome, I knew everyone wouldn’t want to wait that long. With that in mind, I set my heart on going nowhere but Budokan. The thing is, I couldn’t change the fact that so many artists are able to perform at Budokan. The value of Nippon Budokan wasn’t gonna diminish as I had imagined it to, but that value would inevitably change as more people became able to play on that stage. That being the case, I always said that we should hold a Budokan show that only we can do. When asked what kind of show that would be, I knew it had to be one that would surpass the Budokan show from 6 years ago. I think that that was the only way we could conquer Budokan, and that we were the band that should be doing just that. Over the years, there had been many twists and turns to be able to achieve that goal, such as members going on hiatus, quitting the band, joining the band, and touring around all 47 prefectures, but if it will only take us 5 years to stand on the Budokan stage, then the stakes will all be worth it. To stand in Budokan on November 18th – that in itself means a lot already.

- To sing “Home” at Budokan on November 18th holds a lot of meaning for Hiro, and it would be the first time the band MY FIRST STORY will be playing as the protagonist. Truly, in the essence of Hiro’s being, life, and values, MY FIRST STORY will become a band that can compete with everyone else.

Hiro: I guess so. I don’t want to lose, of course, but we’re not trying to match anyone either. Rather, it all starts from here, from the moment I made up my mind to stand on the starting line, or the moment I finished warming up and got myself in a ready position. I feel like this is where the competition to see who can do the fastest time begins.

- Hiro is the only person in the world who has the right to stand on the starting line, huh.

Hiro: That’s right.

- I would assume you also thought about just running on a different lane.

Hiro: That’s true. There was a part of me that was already happy with doing just that. It was definitely my weak side. But if fate was going to lead us to where we are now, then there was no point in running away anymore. I think it’s more like me to face things head on. I think I would have never seen the real me had I not decided to confront my fears. This time, our moment had finally come, so I’d be happy if everyone understood that.

- I’m not on the level of understanding just yet (laughs). This song is amazing. “Now I want to go beyond, now I want to go beyond”. And the lyrics after that, “Sometimes I watch the TV and hear family’s voice”.

Hiro: I think I’m the only one who can write these lyrics. I actually came up with these lyrics around the time we made “Second Limit”. It’s an homage to the lyrics of Avril Lavigne that went something like, “I was listening to the radio and Radiohead was playing” (T/N: I assume he was referring to Avril Lavigne’s song “Here’s To Never Growing Up”). I don’t think there are a lot of people who are in a position to embody such a line to this extent, and to express it in terms of “him” or “her” instead of proper nouns. I’d been thinking about that since I wrote “Second Limit”, but no matter how I looked at it, it wasn’t the right time to put it out just yet. It was refreshing to finally be able to write it out. I tend to get easily distracted, and even if I find something cool, it’s unlikely that it stays that way for long. This was the only feeling I had that never changed or once wavered. Since I’m still feeling the same way 5 years later, I thought it would be a good idea to finally write it down. In a way, I think it had held a bit of my rebelliousness from back in the day. I also used to care too much about what other people thought of me. It felt like I was weirdly acting like a grown up, even if I was still far from being one. It felt like I was being strangled more and more. I was concerned about what people would think if I said such a thing, but if they still had something to say despite me not saying anything, then I might as well lay it all out then be told off afterwards instead (laughs). If I were told off after I’d said my piece, it would be a good rallying point and it would be possible to reach a compromise.

- It’s like you’ve climbed up all this way just to sing this song. “Even if I can’t go back to those memories, I will not run away from you” – does this part bear meaning to you personally as well?

Hiro: This one, no. Only the beginning.

- So it was just written for writing’s sake.

Hiro: Yeah. But I wrote that line with the hope of the song in mind. It wasn’t 100% me, it was more of Hiro from MY FIRST STORY. Of course Hiro from MFS would appear in this song. So I had them both mixed up here in these two lines.

- Now, let me ask you something else. First and foremost, when is your birthday?

Hiro: January 25, 1994.

- What’s your earliest memory?

Hiro: Maybe when our house was built. The house was built around the same time I was born. I don’t think I was old enough to understand anything at all, but I remember looking at it from the outside while my father was carrying me. I was like, “Wow~ Amazing~”. I guess that was my first ever memory.

- How would you describe the shade of that memory?

Hiro: ...If I had to choose, it would probably be a warm memory. It might not go all the way up the scale, but it’s a memory with a temperature, if anything.

- You were around a year old?

Hiro: Yeah, more or less.

- But you remember that scene happening.

Hiro: I remember it vividly. I don’t know, I’d be lying if I said I didn’t mean it in a bad way, but for better or for worse, I don’t have any memories of spending time with my family. Moreover, it feels strange to have the world know about my family. We had such a special relationship that it was almost as if my grade school classmates knew my mother and father better than I did. It’s like, “That guy on TV is my father” – that’s about as uncomfortable as it’s gonna get. Everyone would tell me, “That’s your dad”, and I’d be thinking, “Is that so?” I had never simply played catch with him, never gone anywhere for the end of the year, and I had never even had a home-cooked meal before, so I had really weird feelings towards my family. I know they’re important, but I think they’re less important to me than most people are. If the average person weighs 100 percent to me, it would only be about 70 or 60 percent for my family – they lack the remaining 30 or 40 percent. It’s not that I don’t like them or am bitter towards them, it’s kind of like, even I don’t understand why. I’ve always felt strangely towards my family, so I think that’s why I was able to write this song. I guess it’s because I was born last, so my memories of family were a lot shorter compared to those of my brothers. I never felt bad about that though, and I’m able to do all of this now because of that. If things had gone well, I’m sure I would have been one hell of a little shit (laughs). I can affirm that, but it’s kind of hard to understand so I can’t really explain it.

- What kind of kid were you?

Hiro: I don’t think I’ve changed much. I was pretty stubborn, and I wouldn’t yield even if I said something wrong. I used to lie a lot, too. We weren’t allowed to have cup ramen at home, but I would hide and buy some from the convenience store. If I got found out, I would say I didn’t know anything (laughs). Even if it was in my room, I would say, “It wasn’t me, didn’t mom put that there?” then run away.

- When did you first become aware of music?

Hiro: Hmm, when I was in my second year in high school. Until then, music was just always in the air. Music would naturally be playing at home, and I would listen to music when I’m out of the house as well. My parents would sing songs and stuff. It was always just there. That was how it had always been, so I didn’t pay attention to it for a long time. But when I was in my second year in high school, everyone started deciding what to do in the future, and my friends said they were going to university. 3 years in middle school and 3 years in high school were enough to make me sick of being a student, so I didn’t wanna go there. Thing is, there wasn’t anything I wanted to do either. When I was thinking about what I should do, I don’t know when it happened, but there was a moment when I realized that music was something I could make a career out of. Up until then, there were barely any hurdles for me to make music my profession. When the idea popped up in my head, I made up my mind immediately with no hesitation. I hadn’t been able to take part in any of the club activities until then, but since music was what I had always been doing at the time, I knew this was the only thing I could do. I just didn’t see the point in not pursuing music when I was allowed to do so anyway. I thought that life wouldn’t be as fun anywhere else. It was the first time I became aware of something I had always taken for granted.

- Have you been singing since you were a kid?

Hiro: Mostly just humming. I would look at the lyrics and sing along as I listened to minidiscs and stuff like that. If my dad happened to come home while I was singing in the living room, I would turn off the music right away. He would point out that my pitch was off and in my head I’d be like, “Shut up”. That’s why I didn’t really sing in front of my parents. I guess I would have been able to sing if both my brothers were with me, but all I could think of at the time was that they were all so annoying.

- You still didn’t have feelings of liking singing at the time, huh.

Hiro: I didn’t. It’s a part of the necessities of life that I can’t live without – it’s only natural to have music. In other words, I don’t really understand the power that music brings. Sometimes I would think that music could change people or that music could change the world, and I say so in my MCs too, but I rarely think about it. I can’t say that music could change the world or that music could change people, because music is a natural part of life. I would think, “I don’t mean this in a bad way at all, but how can music save someone?”

- So you’re not overly attached to music, huh.

Hiro: Right. It’s my destiny already after all. I don’t have any emotional attachment to my own life either, because it’s like, “I’m alive right now (and that’s all that matters)”. But whenever I get asked what life means to me, I’m really not exaggerating when I say that I would plainly answer “music”. I don’t feel emotionally attached to it, but if it’s not there then I would die. Because it’s who I am.

- Everyone tries to attach emotions to their personal experiences. Some people have stories like, “When I heard that riff by Nirvana in my second year in middle school, I knew I wanted to be a musician, so with that one riff, everything changed”. On the other hand, in Hiro’s case, your life was set up right from the start.

Hiro: Yep. From the very day I was born.

- Did you ever try to pursue anything else apart from music?

Hiro: I wanted to try a lot of things. Music wasn’t even on the list until my second year in high school, so I thought about doing all sorts of jobs like being a comedian or a baseball player. But I started to think that I wasn’t going to be a kid forever, so I decided against it. I found myself face to face with reality.

- We all once wrote our dreams for the future in our grade school yearbooks, right? What did you write in yours?

Hiro: I don’t remember. I wasn’t the type of kid who took those things seriously, and I didn’t have to think about it from the third grade up to my third year in middle school. I thought I could get away with it, I guess. But when that time of my life ended, I thought to myself, “Well, what am I going to do?” That was what the second son (T/N: Tomohiro Moriuchi) was particularly agitated about. Every time I saw him, he would ask me, “What are you going to do in the future?” Music didn’t come up whenever my family asked me what my dream was, so it seriously wasn’t an option. I wasn’t mature enough to really think about it that much, and when I was in middle school and high school, I was happy as long as I had fun every day. I thought my life would be over after high school. I didn’t think it would last beyond that. That was when I met our producer. The first thing he said to me was, “You look like a good singer. Are you in a band?” At the time, it had been around 2 days since the band I had with our guitarist Teru disbanded. I answered, “I’m not. Our band just broke up the other day actually,” and he replied, “I see. Let’s start a band.” I thought that was really sloppy of him (laughs), but my band had just broken up, so I said, “Sure.” Then he asked me to come to the studio a week later. I sang at the studio, but the recording we had was pretty intense. I thought I wasn’t cut out for it, but they said my voice was cool and that we should start a new band. Nob and Masack were on the bass and drums back then, so I started a band with those 3. After that, we decided to bring in another guitarist, and just my luck, Teru said he wanted to play with me again. I was in a huge hurry at the time. Everyone around me was in high school, and we kept getting booked by livehouses, playing shows, and paying extra because we didn’t reach our quota. It had me wondering until when this was going to last. I was graduating soon, and my friends in high school along with their other friends were my entire community, so I knew it would be a disaster if all of that disappeared. I was living in a very small world, but everything changed when I met our producer. The possibilities, the range and depth of options, all unlike anything I had ever seen before. I was overwhelmed by the speed at which things were happening, but I was also relieved.

- I see.

Hiro: The first 2 years was all about the simple joys of being in a band. When we went on our first tour or show, everyone came and paid for their own tickets, and I was genuinely glad to be standing there as a professional. The members were all serious about what they were doing too, so that made me really happy as well. Up until then, it was normal for me to hear, “Sorry, I have to go to cram school”, “I have to study”, I have a part-time job”, so getting rid of that alone made me so happy I could die. As I released more and more of my music, my own emotions started to grow, and things gradually changed from then on. I think it was around the time we made “Saishuukai STORY” when MY FIRST STORY became a part of me. All this time, I was screaming and just going with the flow, but then all of a sudden, I became an adult.

- It’s ironic, isn’t it? In your case, music was always by your side, yet the realization that being in a band was fun came later than most people.

Hiro: That’s true. I’ve been asked what the first ever CD I bought was in so many interviews, but that question is incredibly hard for me to answer (laughs). I seriously don’t remember it at all. All this time, I had only been giving half-assed answers because it’s not something people would understand unless they’ve heard my story, but I’d never been able to share my story up until now. When I was in middle school or high school, I felt like ROCKIN’ON JAPAN was the number one magazine out there. I thought it was the king of music magazines, and I was deeply attached to it. Then, when we started the band, I was thinking of speaking up for the first time at Zepp or Budokan, but I’d decided that this (magazine) would be the first place I talk about my life.

- Is that so?

Hiro: Then, since the timing was perfect with this 20,000-character interview, and since Koyanagi-san will be the one interviewing me, I thought that today was the day I should finally speak up. I’d never spoken about it before, I didn’t have the guts to, and I had quite a few things left unsettled up until now. It feels great to finally be able to talk about it now for the first time.

- You deal with music in a very unique way, huh. To illustrate, it’s like water and air to you. “The air saves me every day!” Don’t you agree? (laughs)

Hiro: I do! I don’t think anyone appreciates being able to breathe air every day. Everybody just lives off of that life force, so I couldn’t help thinking deeply about it.

- When did music become a form of expression for you?

Hiro: Expression… I don’t know if I’ve ever thought of it that way. I sing about proving my existence in “ALONE”, but in my mind, it’s not as strong a proof of existence as everyone imagines it to be. I’m really just doing it because I love it. I simply want to hear new songs in my own voice. I’ve always done it as an extension of my hobby, so I don’t really understand the fact that I’m getting paid to do this. I’m like, what’s this compensation reward for? I don’t think I’ll ever leave music behind no matter how much it changes, so I don’t really feel like I’m doing it for self-expression.

- I see. I want to ask you a few more questions about your past. What kind of student life did you have when you were in grade school and middle school?

Hiro: I was just having fun. Well, I was a bit of a naughty kid from around my second year in middle school (laughs). I didn’t go to school much. I didn’t have a lot of friends in middle school. I was rather popular until around my first year so I was just going with the flow, but just like how a nail that sticks out gets hammered down, I was pushed to the side hard (T/N: ignored) in my second year or so. I couldn’t make any friends and I was always lonely. Even in my third year in middle school, I would play outside instead of going to school. Then, I joined the music club in my third year in high school. I heard that students weren’t allowed to join clubs in their senior year because they would be sure to participate in the school festival. They’d have club homeroom every Wednesday, so that was when I asked them, “Please let me join the club.” I didn’t feel like I would lose to any of the guys in that room, so I said, “Please let me participate in the school festival,” and with that they told me, “Fine, if you insist”. At the time, the best performers out of everyone in the club gathered together and did covers and original songs. I was already with MFS back then, so we were touring around non-stop. That being said, we decided to hold a performance that would overwhelmingly crush the top band at the school festival, and we went home with a bang. When I got to my senior year, I thought, “Yikes, I’ve only got 1 year left to be a student”, so I decided to do a ton of things that I could only do then. I became a member of the executive committee for events and was involved in organizing the athletic and cultural festivals. That’s why my senior year in high school was pretty free and fun. All things considered, I think both my middle school and high school days paved the way to where I am today. I was living in a society where that community was everything, so I couldn’t help feeling a sense of loneliness when I was withdrawn from it, but I was able to meet so many people and realize that I was struggling in such a small world.

- Hiro’s way of life is pretty flexible in a way, huh? You’re willing to accept things because that’s just how they were meant to be. It’s a special ability you were able to learn, isn’t it?

Hiro: The past isn’t going to change, but I don’t want to say these kinds of things in my songs. You don’t know what kind of person is going to be listening, and a song is only 3 minutes long. There’s only so much text you can squeeze in. For example, you can’t expect some random person passing by to suddenly give you good advice. And even if what they said was right, you don’t even know them. There are people who don’t share the same pain, and I don’t think it’s a good idea to put the band on the line and dedicate everything to a single group of people. That’s why I write songs about my story.

- I strongly feel you on that. When it comes to your manner of songwriting, you don’t say, “This is how it should be”. You’d answer your own questions, and if someone else sympathizes with you in doing so, then great.

Hiro: Yeah, exactly. It’s easy to put up a façade, but I believe people can grow by showing their weaknesses and making other people think. It’s no good to just show the answer to a problem; the most important part of the process is to think about why you got the answer you got. I think life is a repetition of these things. I don’t want to tell people they can change. I don’t really like being pushy.

- Hiro doesn’t say, “This is black” in his songs. You endlessly ask yourself, “Is it white? Is it black?” That’s what everyone says – “It’s different for each person”. But I think Hiro truly understands that each person is different. I believe that’s how you’ve been living your life. Perhaps that’s the reason your self-questioning lyrics are so compelling. In this album, Hiro writes, “This is what the shape of my heart is like now”. This piece was the first time you tried to frame your own mind.

Hiro: I think I’m a really, really twisted person. If I’m moved by something I see, I think people who could see things from a normal perspective would be even more moved by it. I’m pretty confident about that. So whenever I find something cool, I’d say, “It’s cool, isn’t it?” I’m not trying to impose. The fact that I was able to think a certain way and keep going with that in mind is the reason I’m here today, I believe. That’s what it all comes down to. I think this is the most direct I’ve ever been able to express myself, not in an abstract way.

- You were able to write in specifics without escaping to the abstract. It’s truly an incredible album.

Hiro: Thank you.

- You mentioned at the beginning of this interview that there was something stronger than certainty already in place. What would that be?

Hiro: To release our 4th album, at the age of 22, as 4 members, playing Budokan in November after having been together for 5 years… It’s scary, isn’t it? How things led up to this point. With everything turning out that way, I knew I wanted to exceed the album from that time at all costs. I thought that doing so would be the best way to prove my existence. I’m absolutely sure that there was something stronger than certainty about that.

- Something along the lines of, “I will face my destiny”, or “I will live my destiny”?

Hiro: Yeah. I guess it’s somewhere in between facing my destiny and living my destiny. I do think it’s more important to face it though, and I feel like Budokan is the perfect stage for that. But as you would expect, I definitely don’t want to lose. This is the first time I’m talking about this, but our motive for starting the band, or our biggest ambition if you will is, as mentioned earlier, the fact that there is no other family like mine. There’s the father and the mother whose sons were rascals, but one’s in a successful band that’s doing well overseas, too. “Their son is just as amazing”, “What a great family” – this is our current image to the public. The story I want to tell, however, is that there’s also a younger brother in the picture who’s even better. That’s the ideal story we wanted to create. We’ll go into battle as the select few in order to make this a reality, so we have no desire whatsoever to join a major label like they did. How can we go above and beyond? That’s my biggest dream, so I’m running forward to achieve just that. But like I said before, it feels like I’m trying to view the public’s image of my family objectively. I’m not in that circle. As I say in “Home”, I don’t belong in that circle; I’m connected to it, but I’m somehow outside of it and am trying to break it with no hesitation. It’s a strange feeling, but I strongly stand by it. If you take this into consideration when listening to this song, you’ll see it in a completely different light. It’s not just a simple desire to not lose – it’s a more complex emotion with a different direction.

- You’re not just saying it’s a rivalry. It’s not about who should win, it’s about the situation you were given.

Hiro: I want to seize my destiny. With such strong blood, strong DNA, and a strong destiny, I truly don’t feel like I will lose to anyone. It’s like, “Sorry, but you’re definitely not gonna win. Because there’s no other family like mine.” I don’t have an emotional attachment to the idea of family like everybody else does, and I don’t really understand what it’s all about, so I’d discuss it with my friends when we go out for drinks. I had kept it to myself all this time and never told anyone about it, but I started to loosen up and was able to talk about it. I don’t know if people would understand my situation, and they probably won’t, which made me think that I was the only one suffering from this. Then I thought it might be a good idea to turn this into a song.

- 22 years old, 4 members, November, Budokan. The whole journey was written in this song, wasn’t it? I think this interview was very meaningful because of this album and song, and that everyone’s emotions are headed in the right direction towards Budokan.

Hiro: I believe there are people who realize what it means to us to perform at Budokan in November. Some people think that’s amazing. Now that this album is out, the mystery is finally solved. “Now I understand. You can do it, MFS” – I hope everyone looks forward to Budokan having this in mind. That’s what we mean by holding a Budokan show that only we can do.

#my first story #マイファス #Hiro #print #2016 #translating this was one hell of a ride #all I have to say is #ily Hiro bb

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surveys-at-your-service · 3 years

Text

Survey #363

(one more that’s a late upload from way earlier in the day, and i yet again don’t feel like updating the answers)

What brings out the worst in you? When I'm very anxious or having a PTSD episode, I can become very snappy and just not a joy to be around. What all did you eat today? This morning I had oatmeal, I had a rice cake as a snack, and lunch was ham and cheese on a tortilla. Some people were really destructive as a child, were you? No, I was a good kid. Who was the last person you were in a car with? My mom. Who was the last person you cried in front of? It was probably Mom. Do you talk about your feelings or hide them? I usually talk about them somewhere, like in surveys if I feel I can't with anyone else. Please be vocal with your feelings. It is so destructive to let them build up. Who was the last person you were with that smelled REALLY good? I'm unsure. Do you know anyone that is gothic? A good number of people, myself included at least in spirit. ;~; I can't really afford good attire, nor do I have the patience for so much makeup maintenance. Have you seen UP? I actually haven't seen the full movie, but I'd like to. How is your mom? Stressed as fuck and tired of everything. What color hair does your mom have? She recently dyed it black. Her hair is growing back totally gray now and she hated it. She's gotten so self-conscious as she's aged. When was the last time you were told you were cute? Idk. Do you feel comfortable getting up and giving speeches? FUCK NO. Have you ever dipped french fries in a frosty? I tried it once and did not get the appeal. Did you have school/class today? No. My school endeavors are done. Do you have any paintings in your room? If so, of what? Yeah, I have my big painting of meerkats grooming above all my 'kat plushies. Have you ever had your photo professionally taken? As a child and by school photographers, anyway. Would you prefer eating jello or pudding? Pudding. After washing your hair, do you put any products in it? No. Last time you ate a salad? Like a week ago when we went to Ichiban for my sister's bday. Do you know how old your house is? No, I don't. Have you ever been described as ”adorable”? Yeah. Have you ever given a lap dance? No. They seem incredibly awkward to me?? Would you accept a boring job if it meant you would make mega bucks? No. I can't do a job I hate for anything. I would be so depressed. Are you a moody person? Yes. What are you listening to? I'm watching Gab Smolders' new episode of Resident Evil 8: Village. I'm deadass watching four different LPers play it, I'm only moderately obsessed lmao. What video game could you waste the most time on? WoW, given it has like a zillion different things to do. Yet I still get bored lmao. What is your favorite condiment? Maybe Ketchup? I think I use that for the most things. What is the worst thing that you have ever done? I don't feel like getting into this. How old were you when your parents gave you the "birds and the bees" talk? They didn't; I learned in my school's sex ed in the 5th grade. Have you ever questioned whether or not you'd benefit from therapy? I have benefited from it. What would you like it to say on your gravestone? Hypothetically, idk. But I'd rather be cremated. Would you ever wear real leather or animal fur? NO. Have you ever completely failed a year of school and had to repeat a grade? No. Have you ever been bitten by an animal that wasn't a cat or a dog? Which? I think my old baby iguana bit me once or twice, not that it was very painful at her young age. I can't recall another animal. What type of literature are you most likely to read? (book, magazine, etc) Books. Do you prefer using candles, wax melts, or incense? Incense. Are you someone who actually doesn't have a Facebook? No, I have one. What kind(s) of Facebook groups are you active in, if any? I'm not really *active* in any; I just observe them and interact via "like"s. I'm actually in a whole lot of groups, though. Do you enjoy any herbal or fruit teas? What kinds? Neither. Do you hear any animals right now? No. What are your thoughts on Avenged Sevenfold? I know and like a few songs, especially "Dear God." Do you like Batman? Yeah, I like his "refuse to murder" ideology. The only thing is I kinda have a bad connection attached to him, because Batman was Jason's thing. Have you ever played fetch with a dog? Yes. Does your house have a fireplace? Yeah actually, but it might be fake? I don't even know lol. Have you ever pet a stingray? No. Have you ever dissected a baby pig in a class at school? Oh my god, no. I literally could never. I did dissect a frog in the 7th grade that wound up to be pregnant, though... I wasn't happy about it, but at the same time it was very interesting. Who is the last baby you held? My niece. Do you like Sunkist? The orange kind is fine, but the STRAWBERRY flavor? Jfc I love that shit. Would you ever consider being a cannibal? UM NO Do you have any scars from an animal? I have a lot of scars on my hands from playing with Roman. I scar extremely easily, so just his little scrapes leave marks. Have you ever seen an Igloo? No. Do you like Korn? Love 'em. How many animals do you have? Really two, but we have three in the house right now. Idk when this dog is going away. Are you more afraid of tornadoes or hurricanes? Tornados. Ever rode in a helicopter? No. Do you like rabbits? Yes, they're adorable. Do you like mushrooms? NO. What was the last movie you cried at? I want to say Logan, but I'm not sure. I watch movies so rarely that I really don't know. Would you rather work for a small or large company? Small. I'd feel more useful. What is the rudest thing a guy has ever done to you? I don't know. Have you ever read the book 13 Reasons Why? Yeah. I thought it was good, but now I don't remember like... anything about it. What did you have for breakfast this morning? I had apple and cinnamon oatmeal. How many times have you read your favorite book? Just once. I don't re-read books. Have you ever been on Omegle? No. Are you still in love with one of your exes? "In love," no. Do you think being born was a mistake? Yeesh, no. Has a relative ever been arrested? My psychotic uncle (by marriage) has been. Was it a serious crime? Quite honestly, I don't remember. I just know he's an angry and dangerous motherfucker. Do you think the Fountain of Youth exists? No. How about in a parallel dimension? Doubtful. Do you believe humans are part of a giant alien experiment? I ponder over the possibility of being a research simulation, kind of like a much advanced version of The Sims, but I honestly doubt it. Have you ever been suicidal? Yes. Was it a passing phase or is it something controlled by medication? Therapy and medication saved me. Is there a holiday you wish no one celebrated? Which is it? Why do you feel that way? Fight me about Christopher Columbus Day. He didn't discover shit. Have you taken any writing classes? How about art? I've taken a writing course in college, and I've taken loads of art classes. What’s your all-time favourite band? How about all-time fave singer? Ozzy Osbourne; Freddie Mercury. What three songs do you want played at your funeral? Why those particular songs? "Like A Woman" by Alice Cooper, "Life Is Beautiful" by Sixx A.M., and "Angels on the Moon" by Thriving Ivory. I just like them and find them suiting. Do you think most mythological creatures exist? No. Have you ever had lice? No. What is one superstition that freaks you out? Why is that? I’m not superstitious. Are either of your parents retired yet and if not, what do they do? No. Dad is a mailman, and while Mom doesn't ~officially~ work yet because she's recovering from intense cancer treatment, she very recently resumed lightly cleaning a church for a small payment. Kinda like a warmup. When did you or do you want to move out of your parents’ house? I wanna move out once I'm in a long-term, stable relationship with someone so we can live together. Me living alone is NOT a good idea. How do you like your current job, or if you’re unemployed, have you been looking for employment? I don't have a job, but when I go to my tattoo appointment, I'm going to ask them if they'd be interested in hiring someone for the front desk. I think it's def something I could do because I love the environment, there's really not that much I need to know (like where the Doritos are, dealing with exact change, answering a dozen unique questions), it's not insanely busy, and the occasional phone call would challenge my anxiety and just be a minor inconvenience to me until I got used to it. My partial hospitalization program really got me wanting to fight back against what gives me anxiety, to truly expose myself to what scares me, while not going totally overboard with it. It was encouraging to hear my therapist there thought it was a magnificent idea for me. I decided I wanted to ask while at the parlor getting work done to show serious interest (like I'm not just some random chick walking in and asking for a job), as well as let the people warm up to me. I'm trying not to get my hopes up too much, but damn am I wishing. I want it so badly. What kind of booze did you last take shots of? I've never taken shots.

#survey #surveys #questions

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aetovahteia · 3 years

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I finished watching One Spring Night three days ago.

And earlier today, while having my breakfast with a cup of coffee, I remembered it again.

One Spring Night Official Trailer

I started watching this series maybe around late November last year. However, after some time, midway through it, I decided to stop. I could not really tell exactly how long did I took the break, not until during last Christmas Eve when I resumed watching its next three episodes…only for me to stop once again. Weirdly enough, I did not feel like it’s been ages whenever I continue watching it again from where I left it off the last time; however, it does not always mean that I jump at it right away. Sometimes, I have to re-watch the whole thing from the beginning until I could finally take it in and recall what’s going on in the current episode.

With One Spring Night, I was having an inner conflict with my conscience. I was not sure if I would push through it because I did not have the energy to finish the whole thing. It was exhausting to watch and it was almost always like I have been chasing my breath all the time— the scenes were dragging, the phasing was often causing heaves of tedious sigh, and I felt weirdly dispirited every after episode. This kept happening to me to the great extent that I almost dropped it...many times— but I did not. I continued watching it at some time around the first week of February and three days before today I was finally on the last episode. After I finished it, I was heavy hearted. And even it ended in a vaguely happy ending, my mind was still lingered on their bittersweet moments.

Especially this scene:

Don't Cross the Line

I was...FRUSTRATED. I still call to mind how I kept breathing curses because I didn't want to suffer anymore patiently with that scene. The tension between the two leads when they were facing each other in the street, I just could not. I was literally on the edge of my seat and I could hardly carry that so much weight already for an emotional intensity. In that very scene, I could feel their vulnerability. Their eyes were speaking. It was hard to watch their courage being bottled up in the moment when they were supposed to dismiss the world and just run and meet halfway. That night, they were standing in the same street, but in different spheres of existence. And that phone call was the only line of intersection between that spheres.

Easier said than done. I know, that crossed their minds as well. When Ji-Ho was about to take a leap of faith, that's when Jeong-In's don't cross the line stopped him in mid-air. Jeong-In wanted also that moment, their moment, but crossing the line together with Ji-Ho might lead them nowhere and she's scared for them to step into the unknown. Perhaps, she wanted an assurance of their uncertainty, she probably did not want to lose in the way and drag him because their emotions had been going already beyond their control.

And after watching One Spring Night, it dawned on me how I am still such a sucker for melodrama. Consuming melodrama is another way to say that you have the patience to sit through its slow-burn build and its seemingly unimportant segments. Due to this, I developed this unusual tendency to be laid back?— that, perhaps explains why I take longer than usual to finish a show because I may subconsciously mimic its phasing? Or I don’t know?

At first, I was guilty...big time. As I confessed, I had lots of resumption. I watched One Spring Night then I stopped then resumed then paused then continued: this was my pattern. This is not exactly healthy for someone who's a usual binge-watcher but these instances only happened to me not somewhat often. Therefore, I would just keep it this way: One Spring Night gave me assurance to just keep my cool. This show let me see the experience of watching it as not a chance to binge but to take it at a leisure speed. I was not pressured to keep watching it because I had to but rather I saw it in a way that I could consume it whenever I can absorb it, and that's more me.

And speaking of me, I personally enjoyed the show's soundtrack album. In random moments, out of nowhere, I will just catch myself humming We could still be happy...without knowing. I also like how the songs evoke a feeling of springtime when we just listen to it. I also like how each song was being played often during their moments of solitude, it captured their silence and considered thoughts and had highlighted more of their emotions. The soundtrack album has a cozy vibe, the likes of music being played in the coffee shop. The only thing that wonders me, why it has only English songs?

(So, if you like, go check out their songs. Try to sip a cup of coffee or a hot tea, sure it would make the already intimate atmosphere much cozier with its springtime feels.)

>> One Spring Night Soundtrack Album

Of all the seasons, why it has to be the spring? As soon as I learned about the title of the series, it rings a bell. What is obvious then, let it aside. I was more interested in the production’s pursuit of this specific title and the symbolic meanings that entail. In literature, spring is featured most frequently compared to the other three temperate seasons. Springtime arrives only shortly, therefore, that explains why it is very pronounced poetically and symbolically. This season evokes a feeling of distant memory, regretful longing, and pensive atmosphere. On the other hand, it holds familiar symbolisms like a beginning of a new life for someone who has been through a lot at the cold hands of autumn. And in One Spring Night, most of the filming was said to be done on spring nights and in the story itself both the leads were brought together by spring. We could say that their first encounter (which was in the pharmacy) was on a spring morning.

Even from the start, the story was already grounded by meaningful conceptions.

In the aspect of symbolism, evidently, spring marked the process of transition of almost all the characters as they entered their own state of renewal. The story started with the characters already carrying their own personal dilemma in which as soon as the story progresses has almost shaken their beliefs and swayed their hopes. But each dilemma was then confronted, which strengthened their resolve and shepered them in a tender beginning of a new life.

#one spring night #kdrama #jung hae in #han ji min #melodrama #netflix

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moist-astronaut · 4 years

Text

things my friends and I have said over the last year

“I’m verbally illiterate” “Isn’t that called dyslexia”

“I’m going to chemistry and I’m gonna light myself on fire” “No” “Damnit let me burn like the witch I am!”

“Don’t worry it’s not anti-Christ it’s just anti-government”

“I’ve been getting migraines everyday and I’m considering chopping my head off” “But that would kill you” “Two birds one stone!!”

“I swear to god I will hug you” “My house is 5 miles away and my doors are locked” “Your locks are FEABLE”

*writing an email* “Bitch comma”

“Ok but I could be a top” *laughing* “What I totally could be!” *laughing and crying for literally 6 minutes straight*

*on a group call, friends cat misha walks into the room* “Tell misha I would live and die for her, whichever she prefers” “She says thank you” *cat noises*

*joins discord vioce chat at 11:26 pm* “You guys are gae but I love you” “Thank you saeren very cool” “Goodnight” *leaves chat at 11:28pm*

“Jake jake jake jjjake -j-jaaake hey jake” “W H A T” “Can I eat your pens” “I literally have a restraining order against you”

“I’m educatn’t”

“Me calling you to dumb to be a slytherin is payback for you leaving multiple handprint bruises on my legs” “It’s not my fault your skin is weak”

“He’s rolling so that we can walk” *rolling in the grass and collecting leaves on his jacket* “I’m rolling for your sins”

“There are 7 of us so we can each be a deadly sin” “I wanna be Ross” “You mean wrath?” “No that dude from Friends”

“Ok but other than his strict attraction to women, his multiple wives, his hatred of gay people, and the fact that he is dead, what is standing between me and Joseph Smith the All American Hottie from being happy together”

“Consider: Mullet” “No”

“I do my homework while loudly eating a pop tart asmr”

“No no listen, he’s my brother, he’s a bastard of my dynasty…I might just ransom him off”

“These Norwegian bastards indroduced a fucking PLUAGE to my COUNTRY”

“Ooooo meth”

“Half of my life is me resisting the urge to sing the zaboomafoo themesong, the other half is me actually singing the zaboomafoo themesong. So either way my entire life revolves around zaboomafoo.”

“I just don’t think I would hire a gay man-wait no I’m not homophobic”

*chucks half a gallon of milk in a gas station* “-ah- got milk?”

“Gimme your sternum boy”

“Nooooooo he stole my sternum!!!” (Side note these were two separate occasions)

*being force fed milk duds* “No!! This is the worst way to die!!”

“Hey babe come over I have a hammock and a heated blanket”

“Be afraid, be prepared- IN THE WORDS OF SCAR”

“Stress eating stress gummies Stress eating stress gummies Stress eating stress gummies stress eating-”

“I thought to myself ‘Y’know if I die today this is how I want to be remembered- a leather skirt and leg warmers’”

“I think I’m telling you to go to sleep” “You’re gonna have make me” “I can’t tell if this is cry for help or flirting” “Yes”

“This is at best cannibalism and at worst being straight”

“Oh look Percy Jackson’s here now, ooh they replaced every character’s face with Mr. Bean. I hate it”

“You can’t be mean to me! I’m gay AND a woman! That’s a hate crime!” “Yeah well I’m brown and Muslim! Square the fuck up bitch!”

“Babe it’s not very metal to be afraid of your hair dresser” “It’s not very metal to have a hair dresser and yet here we are” “It’s fine you’re into glam metal”

“Hey augie, got any grrrrrrapes?” “I’m doing IXL :(“

“Can I come?” “No” “What if I bring watermelon?” “You can come, leave the watermelon, then leave” “:(“

“What in the jersey shore”

“Rad’nt”

“Ok but consider: Mullet-hawk” “I can and will divorce you”

“Dee-vorce 👏 Just to 👏 re-vorce 👏 👏 “

“Ah yes, that’s why I’m fat…for combat reasons…”

“You fool I consent!”

“My Boston fern is being a bitch but that’s because it’s winter and that’s BITCH season”

“You walk through the rest of the house and it’s like ‘ooo witchy and aesthetic’ then they’ll get to the guest room and it’ll just be a tacky twink Fever dream”

“Who needs a scalp”

“HeHe, sexing”

“Council has decided, your vibes are rancid (and not the band)”

“You’re never to young to hate women”

“Look at me I did the dishes I’m a 1950s housewife with a strangely new jersey accent and affinity for lesbianism”

“Well look who has the table now”

"contrary to popular belief, fuck you"

"There's nothing here that requires whisking, i'm just problematic"

"If you could go anywhere in the world with two people, who would you choose?" “New Orleans!”

"So he proceeded to bite me on the butt...like, really, really hard."

“I don’t cheat, I win. It’s not cheating if it’s consensual.”

“My mouth, my choice”

“Do you like my ombré of a tan"

“Who’s the cutest in the chat right now then?” “It’s Paige!” “No, it’s obviously Augie.” (paige's boyfriend)-said by a straight man

“Francis is just a one and done.”

“Would you ever have a threesome?” “...yes...” *To Francis* “Sure!”

“How do you feel about anal sex?”

“Of the people in this room, who would you most want to make out with?” “Augie” “The answer is yes, but only if it’s 6 feet apart.”

“Square, flat, and overcooked.”

“The virus would be over if everyone would breathe underwater for 5 minutes.”

“I have daddy issues, but not with my father.”

“You’re a ladies man but you have two boyfriends.”

“That means lesbian in sign language” “No, that means fuck boy in American”

“I’m like a parasite, you can’t get rid of me. I’m here forever.”

“You’re like my long term hit man”

“Is it Jake?” “No, why would the evil Russian man be Jake?” “Because he would never hire a gay man and you don’t look like a gay man”

“Jake is homophonic, Augie is racist, and Francis is a woman hater!”

"Grew a korean radish, 1 star"

"I've got more cause i'm a rich boy, and by that i mean my father sometimes buys avocados. And that's on what? Upper middle class"

"Tell your good for nothing boyfriend to stay away from my mom"

"It's not inciting violence it's just ~inspiring it~ "

"Listen bitch just because you have avacados and a roomba doesn't make you better then me"

"i would totally let narthex ruin my life. and that's on what? daddy issues and bisexuality"

"who is titty"

"how is he racist" "he hates the french and russians right?" "don't forget italians" "that's just self loathing"

"This is the last time i wear a thong- it's for educational purposes"

"babe come over i'm a burrito"

"he put bread with milk. luckily he passed away"

"you touched my wiener!" "you offered it!"

"foot'nt"

"i took a shower and realized the floor doesn't bounce"

"i love ass whoooaaaaaa i meant cassie"

"Rosalie you're the deciding vote. Be decisive." "Dude i'm bisexual and a gemini. what're you talking about?"

"Okay so to recap: jake is homophobic, augie is racist, francis is a woman hater, and now paige is a bunny abuser?"

"Just bring a watermelon keychain and it'll be fine" "Whooaaaa i'm gonna need a big key then"

"If you were blind what would you even see"

Post Traumatic Youth, plus D for danny's disorder"

"i think she's past the phase where she likes people just because they're russian"

"francine is a lesbian, but only during quarantine"

"don't be a home wrecker!" "i can't help it!"

"we are not doing coed tents" "i wanted to go purple-ing though"

"if it's not perfect i'm gonna through hands" "with who" "i don't know, the CEO of stupid"

"don't make me feel guilty for bullying you"

"it doesn't look very cash money cool but okay"

"slinky cat" (ferret)

"The pond behind my house didn't freeze all the way through this winter, so i couldn't go ice skating" "okay, so i have an idea. we can go to walmart and get-" "ANTI FREEZE!" "well, yes- wait, no. No, the more i think about that definitely no."

"The amish will win, the amish will prevail" "the amish will conquer us all!"

"He do be kinda mafia doh"

"i'm being sneaky sneak. stairs go creaky creak. and i need. DRUGZ"

"brain on shutdown, power saving mode"

"Somebody go tip her, she's dancing like a stripper" "thatd be nice- oh wait no!"

"fellas, is it gay to lick your homies eyeball?"

"it's not racist if you're only targeting one group of people" "that literally racism" "but what if they're french"

"i'm not racist yet but the option is available, and it's good to have options"

"they don't call me Mr. Steal Yo Boy for nothing!" -a straight man who has a girlfriend

"i think he has a bad habit of not dating girls"

"kinda hot tho 🥵 in a Santa Claus kinda way...hoe hoe hoe"

"i'll be your hot jacuzzi bubble dealer"

"when deceit and doubt fills you up, you cleanse your mind through creative activities, such as making organic soap"

"friendly reminder #4: you're never to old to eat a freezie-pop"

"sorry i'm just nervous" Chinese Teacher: (Waving her hand in front of her face) “Just pretend I’m cabbage.”

"me when my dads name is publicly broadcasted on the radio for his 14 felonies and assorted war crimes"

"<@!523669420435046401> I sentence you to a solid nine by the banhammer. For your crimes against Humanity, God, Satan, and Matt Frank. See you in hell."

"Danny, just because you're playing *Just Cause* doesn't mean you need to Just Cause our friendship!"

"Silly Matt! You fell for the ole’ Heimlich maneuver!”

"i got a bunch of new shirts over quarantine" "you would"

"Ok, there's a 32 year old doctor in new Jersey dying right now" "Yeah, but to be fair everyone in new jersey has a pre-existing condition"

“This is the longest period of time we’ve had without a Nintendo direct” “Maybe they’re gonna make a Nintendo indirect?”

"you’re looking extra white today.” "thanks i've been practicing"

"do you have any batteries" *looks inside shirt* "not yet"

"let's go colonize the middle school!" "yyayayyayayay!!!" " wait I gotta ask my mom first" What happened next is know called the *Juniors burden*

"oh so you're a DOWNSTAIRS milk kinda guy"

"you are literally the human embodiment of crumbs in a bed"

"The Berk-ey Creamery isn’t a place, it’s a people!”

"He shoved a floating joy-con straight up his flux-capacitor.” "great! now it's paired"

"No, that isnt armor, the real armor are the friends you made along the way"

"This one goes out to all my lady friends out there *proceeds to kill himself in game*

"i'm a coward" "that's what a coward would say!"

"rest is for cowards and fools"

"every time you speak you take years off my life"

"Shark dick hoo ha ha"

"Me and the boys brushing our teeth at 3 AM"

"remember if you kill yourself the fascists win"

"The Beatles aren’t real. Have you ever seen a beatle? No? Exactly." "Babe” "Shut up I’m right."

*reading over these quotes* "god i hate that" "you said that!"

#ghost talks #long post

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