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dvrk-moon · 3 months

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EAT ME UP - JAKE SIM

— synopsis: in which jake knows you’re bad for him, but he just can’t help himself. after all, in the end, the answer is always you. nobody else matters. not even the guy you’re seeing, his friend, sunghoon.

— word count: 20.1k

— warnings: cursing, cheating, sexual relationships, mental health problems, alcohol problems, no smut but things can get heated, MINORS DO NOT INTERACT!!

— featuring: sunghoon, heeseung, jay, aespa ningning, a bit of riize wonbin, mentions of zb1 matthew, girl named ella (fictional)

— genre: fwb, angst, bits of fluff, unrequited love, jake x fem!reader x sunghoon

— playlist: sex - eden, fever - enhypen, bad idea right? - olivia rodrigo, why’d you only call me when you’re high? - arctic monkeys, cologne - beabadoobee, heartbeat - childish gambino

— a/n: this is 100% fiction i don’t think jake is/would be a cheater. this was a monster to complete im just glad it’s over with lol

— taglist: @yyawnjun @lovingvoidgoatee @capri-cuntz

i. HOW DARE YOU, BABY

Sweat formed on your forehead as condensation dripped down your cup. The heat of 30 bodies all condensed into a two bedroom house located just off of campus wasn’t anything new— yet this time it felt almost suffocating. The sequins on your red dress scratched against your skin while you lazily danced to the loud music blasting through the house. It was a Friday night. You had to let all your stress from the week out somehow.

As you went to take another drink from the red solo cup in your left hand, your lips were met with only small remnants of the drink you had poured for yourself earlier. You looked into the cup to find nothing remaining. Rolling your eyes, you made sure to motion to your friend, Ningning, that you’d be headed to the kitchen to get yourself another drink. She nodded at you as you walked away.

Ningning wasn’t someone you could consider yourself best friends with. You didn’t have those. However, she was good for coming to parties with; she knew who to talk to and what to say. You always wanted to be closer to the girl, craving an actual bond between you two rather than just a party buddy. She gave good advice, let you stay over at her apartment multiple times, and seemed to actually care for you, even if you weren’t an open book. There had been times in which you’d almost let her in.

But it never actually happened. Deep down, you knew it’d probably be no good for you anyways.

Strands of hair stuck to the sweat on your forehead as you weaved your way through unfamiliar faces. The noise usually was a comfort for you; more talking from other people meant less listening to your own thoughts.

The surrounding music and conversations became a blur as you stumbled your way through a hallway that led to the kitchen on the left hand side. As you walked through the doorway, the noises became slightly more quiet.

You put some distance between the entrance to the room and yourself, finding a corner which was relatively empty and hoisting yourself onto the cool countertop. The second your thighs felt the chilliness of the spot, you let out a deep sigh. You glanced around the room for any familiar faces, but you were slightly too intoxicated to really make out anyone relevant. You rested your head against the wall for a few seconds before leaving your spot and walking up to the “bartender” who was manning the makeshift “bar”. He was someone you’d seen in passing a couple times off campus. You couldn’t remember his name, and you weren’t sure if it was because you were drunk or not.

“Hey again,” he smiled at you. This was probably your eighth drink of the night, and even though Ningning nagged on you about your lack of self control when it came to drinking, you always brushed her off. How would she know what’s good for you, anyways?

You looked at him with a half-assed smile before propping your elbows onto the top of the makeshift bar, “Heyyy..” you drawled out, with a hint of flirting in your tone.

“Back so soon?” He inquired, grabbing some alcoholic drinks from underneath the “bar”. He ran a hand through his raven-colored hair before looking back up at you, “I swore I just saw you ten minutes ago.”

He was a really good-looking guy. You gave him a flirtatious look, “Oh, you know me. Couldn’t stay away for too long.”

That was a lie. You knew that as the night started, you’d tell yourself “only one drink, to loosen up my mind”. But that never stuck around. You’d get another drink soon after, and as the night went on, there would be less time between each drink. You lost count of what number drink you were on a bit ago.

“You flatter me. It’s a shame, we never exchange much outside of parties. I’ve never met anyone as forward as you,” he laughed, then asking, “same thing as last time?”

You paused. You couldn’t remember what you got last time, and it was only ten minutes ago. Maybe this was your sign to stop for the night.

“Vodka tonic.”

The man nodded swiftly then turned around to make you your drink. Within moments, the drink was ready. You didn’t fail to notice how his hand brushed yours for longer than you expected while he handed you your drink.

“Don’t get sick, sweetheart.”

You playfully rolled your eyes as you got up from your spot, not failing to give the cute bartender a flirty wave as you headed back towards the entranceway to the room.

Before stepping out, you decided that you needed to just drink all of what was just given to you. The clock on the microwave had read 1:08 AM. You had nothing going on later today anyways. You may as well.

“Bottoms up,” you whispered before drinking the whole cup.

Stepping back into the haze of the crowd, you felt a new wave of warmth through your body, and this time it wasn’t the claustrophobic feeling of being in a group of unfamiliar faces. The alcohol quickly dispersed through your veins and you found yourself back where you’d last seen Ningning.

She was with a new crowd of people, but she hadn’t left her previous spot. You didn’t recognize a single face of the people who she was with, but as soon as you began to back away to find anyone else, she noticed you from the corner of her eye and introduced you to the group of people.

“Y/N! There you are,” she grabbed your arm and pulled you towards the group of people that she’d found, “guys, this is Y/N, Y/N, these are my friends from my journalism class.”

You were too busy not paying attention to engage in whoever was supposed to be filling the void of conversation. The vodka tonic was still working its magic, so in a quick moment, you were slipping away from the group and telling Ningning something along the lines of “I’ll see you later”. She gave you a confused look but didn’t push.

You found yourself down that same hallway as earlier, but this time you decided to take a right, which led you to a set of stairs. You usually weren’t one for snooping, but what’s wrong with poking around people’s houses every once in a while?

It was eerily quiet as you made your way up the stairs, the ambiance from the party dwindling down with every step you took upwards. At the landing, there was a hallway and three rooms: two bedrooms and one bathroom.

The hallway was narrow and dark; clearly, the host(s) had no intent of guests going up here. The bedroom at the end of the hallway was shut, and you were 99% sure that it was occupied by two random strangers hooking up. You couldn’t be too hateful, though, because you were also notorious for leaving parties with men you barely knew. Tonight, you weren’t sure if that was a goal you had in mind.

Next to the shut-doored bedroom, there was an unoccupied bathroom. You were surprised that you weren’t currently in there, hurling up every drink you downed tonight.

You finally brought your gaze to the room directly in front of you- it was the last bed room. The door was wide open and the lights were off, but there was a large window with its curtains drawn open despite the time of night. The window gave you a perspective of how late it was; even if the room was not lit by any electric lights, the moonlight was bright enough for you to make out a few items in the room.

Despite you telling yourself not to, you were so drawn in by the window that you ended up venturing into the room. You didn’t bother flipping on any light switches or anything, it would just be a quick peek anyways.

You wandered around the room a bit, taking note of a messy bed, an old desk, and a body-length mirror. You stopped in front of the mirror for a second to look at yourself. Your makeup was surprisingly still intact given how sweaty you had been the whole night, and your dress had something stained on the bottom of it. Someone probably spilled some drink on it and you had already forgotten.

Shaking your head, you headed to the window next. It was a window seat. You welcomed yourself into the center spot.

The window had a direct view of the backyard. It was a cold, gloomy night, so there was a lack of presence outside of the house. You pressed your burning cheek against the cool glass and brought your opposite hand to your forehead, cursing yourself. The rush from your last drink was already wearing off. You needed another drink.

You begrudgingly hoisted yourself up from your spot and stood. The doorway looked less enticing with every step. As you walked closer to the door, you caught sight of a figure coming up the steps. You wouldn’t have enough time to leave the room without being caught for snooping. As shit as this party was, you didn’t want to get kicked out.

You did the next best thing and you crouched down right next to the bed, out of sight of the doorway.

The figure quickly entered the room and shut the door quietly before sitting at the foot of the bed, facing the window. If this person turned their head slightly to the left, you’d be spotted. You held your breath.

The person got up and walked to the window seat, not yet sitting down. You got a good look at them, as their face was lit up by the moonlight.

He was around your age, donned in a pair of black cargo pants and a white hoodie. You’d never seen him before. He had a certain curious nature about him, not only because he was unknown to you, but because he was someone was just as passive as you were at this party.

The man let out an exasperated sigh, eyes not once leaving the nighttime view. He took off his sweatshirt to reveal a plain black T-shirt, it hugging his figure nicely as he tossed his sweatshirt just somewhere else in the room. You watched the sweatshirt land with a thud before you brought your attention back to the man, who was now opening the window to let in a cold breeze.

He let in a deep breath before turning his head towards the empty room, or to what he thought was an empty room.

When he’d opened the window, it’d let more moonlight spill into the room, revealing you from your not-so-secret hiding spot. Once he laid his eyes on you, you both looked like a deer in headlights.

“Hello?” He asked, confused.

You cleared your throat, “Hi. I swear I wasn’t stalking you.” You picked yourself up off of the floor, and sent him an awkward look.

“Wait, you don’t need to leave.”

You thought about it before deciding to either leave and go get another drink, or stay and talk to the stranger. You didn’t need another drink. You knew your body could only take so many more until you’d be unable to be conscious of anything. Plus, you always met new men at these parties, and usually ended up leaving with them. What’s the harm in getting to know a stranger rather than having just a one night stand with them?

You sat yourself down on the bed, facing the stranger. A moment of silence ensued before it was broken by him.

“I don’t think I’ve ever seen you before.”

You nodded, meeting his gaze, “Yeah, me neither. My name is Y/N.”

“Jake,” he returned, positioning himself so he could see you better, “what brings you up here?”

You quickly became defensive, “I usually don’t go and snoop around at parties if that’s what you’re insinuating-”

“No, no, no! That’s- that’s not at all what I meant,” Jake started, straightening himself, “It’s just that when I take a break from a large group of people, I don’t usually expect to find someone else off where I usually hide.”

You gave him an odd look, “Why do you go to parties if you only go hide, then?” You ran your fingers through a section of your hair, keeping your front strong.

“I like parties, don’t get me wrong,” he begins, getting up from the window seat. He closes and locks the window as he continues, “it’s just that sometimes, when I’m dragged to them against my own will, they lose any sort of fun that they have. May I?” He had made his way to the spot next to you on the bed, not yet sitting down because he wanted to test the waters first. You nodded, scooting over to make room for him. He sat down next to you, using both of his hands to lean on rather than sitting normally.

“I understand. I was just up here for that same reason, I guess. Not really,” you admitted, shrugging and then turning to the boy next to you, propping your hand on the bed towards him.

The amount of moonlight in the room had been lessened due to the fact that Jake closed the window, but his features will still well illustrated. He had big, wondrous eyes, and a full set of lips. His hair was long and unkempt- obviously messy from the heat of the party. You felt overdressed for the occasion in his presence, yet in a sense you still had enough pride to wear your skimpy dress even in the cold months of winter. You didn’t fail to notice how his eyes lingered on your lips as you studied him.

Lifting his gaze from your lips back to your eyes, he slowly responded, “Yeah. I know how you feel.”

You licked your lips before leaning in slightly closer to him, “Do you?” His eyes fell back down to your lips as you slightly held a pout after you asked him the taunting question. He let out a shaky sigh as the distance between you two decreased, and you felt his hot breath on your lips.

Jake had brought one of his hands towards your almost-exposed thigh and hovered over it until you took your own hand and placed his right on your thigh. Almost immediately, you grabbed his face and pulled him in for a kiss.

The kiss was hot, messy, and desperate. Jake repositioned himself so he could hold your waist, and you took the opportunity to move your hands to the nape of his neck. He tasted like alcohol, as did all of your hookups. You knew he was bound to be one the second he sat on the bed, but you didn’t mind. You welcomed him with open arms (and legs).

It was intoxicating. Alcohol aside, you felt a strange new feeling bubble in your chest while the two of you were kissing. You pulled him even closer, signaling that you wanted more.

He moved his hand from your thigh to your ass, grabbing it, which caused you to groan into his mouth, only egging him on further.

Moments later, a knock came from the bedroom door, separating you two. He motioned for you to hide on the floor next to the bed (ironically the exact spot he had found you in earlier) while he went to open the door.

He half-heartedly fixed his hair that you’d somehow made worse from when you first found him, straightened his clothes, and opened the door.

“Matthew? What’s up, man?” He greeted. It sounded like the two knew each other.

“Hey, Jake. I just wanted to come in here and make sure no one was getting busy on my bed, because the door was shut. I was mad worried, y’know?” ‘Matthew’ laughed air-headedly, Jake joining in.

“Yeah, I get it. But nah, nothing going on up here! I just needed a break from the noise, you know me,” Jake sent back, to which Matthew laughed and said, “Yeah man, it’s chill. Keep my room safe, okay?”

The two men did some sort of handshake before Jake closed the door again.

He wasted no time in closing the distance between you two again, asking, “Where were we?”

You slightly pushed him away, giving him a flirty look before crossing your way to the door, “We should probably leave.” You went to open the door, but Jake caught your wrist.

“Are you leaving? Like, the party?” He asked as nonchalantly as possible, but you could hear the desperation seeping through his words. You nodded, finally opening the door for the two of you.

“Oh, okay, cool. See you around, then?” Jake asked as you began descending the steps. You stopped in your tracks and turned around to meet his gaze, “What? Do you think you’re going to stay here? I thought that we had something to finish.”

Jake quickly got the hint as he stumbled (semi-awkwardly) down the steps towards you, following you as you went to find Ningning to tell her you were leaving with a boy.

You found her figure quickly, still drinking and still surrounded by the group you had last seen her with. When you tapped her shoulder, she quickly whipped around to find you and give you a smile. When she saw Jake, an indecipherable look plastered its way onto her face before she returned her gaze to you and gave you a hug. After the embrace, she whispered, “Be safe. Text me if you need me.”

You gave her a reassuring smile before grabbing Jake’s hand and leading him to the door of the house.

ii. HOURS LIKE MINUTES

That wasn’t the last time you and Jake ended up hooking up, in fact you had seen each other on the regular about a month or so into the endeavor.

You wanted to say that you knew who Jake was, but that would be a lie. You didn’t know much about him past his name and where he lived, and to be frank, you didn’t really care to. Sure, he was one of the more fun hookups, but after all, he was just a hookup. Nothing more. You assumed he felt the same way. You were terribly mistaken.

A couple months ago, a day or two after your most recent hookup, Jake had told you he wanted to talk to you. You agreed, figuring it was a harmless conversation that needed to be had, about scheduling or him being out of town for a bit.

When you arrived at his house on that fateful day, he greeted you at the front door, looking more cheerful than he usually was when he saw you. You walked in his apartment to find it empty, as usual, and he led you to the couch.

It started off casual and harmless. You had mentioned wanting to watch a certain movie in passing once, and he had rented it so you could watch it together. You assumed it would be a classic “movie and chill” moment with him. You’d done it before, you wouldn’t be surprised if it were to happen again.

However, as the movie progressed, neither of you had made any advances, which was odd for the two of you.

Thirty minutes in, nothing.

An hour in, nothing

An hour and a half in, nothing.

Finally, the movie eventually came to an end and still, as expected, nothing had happened.

As the credits rolled, Jake muted the TV and turned to you, “So…? What’d you think?”

You sat there and looked at him. For a good thirty seconds, at that. Saying nothing. Just looking. Jake began to look uneasy, gulping and asking, “Was it worth the watch?”

You finally answered him, “It was good, I guess. Nothing special.”

He looked slightly deflated but still kept up a happy demeanor, “Cool, cool. I thought so too.”

A silence consumed you two as you just looked at him. He was fidgeting, looking anywhere in the room but at you. You’d never seen him this blatantly nervous before, albeit most of the times you’d seen him, you were both intoxicated to some degree.

“Well,” you started, rising from your spot, “I guess I’ll get going then.”

Jake immediately rose from his spot, surprising you. He seemed anxious, quickly saying, “Why? Do you have somewhere to be?”

“No,” you told him, still gathering your things. You didn’t care if this hurt his feelings, you guys were fuck-buddies and nothing else. There was no time or room for any sort of relationship, nor any activities that could even barely resemble a date.

“Oh… then why are you leaving so soon?”

You stopped packing up the bag you brought over and stared at him before responding, “Jake, you asked me to come over to talk about something with you, and I get here, and what do you do? Put on some damn movie. Well, the movie’s over now, and you still look like you have no intent of even bringing up what you supposedly called me over to talk about. So I’m leaving.”

Jake walked over to you quickly and grabbed your wrist. Out of habit, you pulled it away, telling him that you weren’t in the mood.

“Listen, Y/N. Will you please just sit down and hear me out for like ten minutes?” He pleaded, and when you met his gaze, you sighed but gave in, “Fine. Ten minutes, and then I’m leaving.”

He motioned for you to sit back down, and once you did he followed suit.

“Y/N,” Jake started. The way he said your name sent chills down your spine. You had never heard him use a voice so serious, not even during sex. No matter how his voice made you feel, though, you made sure to keep a blank face as you listened to him.

“I probably shouldn’t even be doing this, to be honest. But, here goes nothing, I guess. Y/N, I don’t know at what exact point that this happened, but I developed feelings for you. Like genuine feelings. At some point, I stopped caring about the sex and it eventually just started to grow into excitement to see you, make you laugh, or even see you in passing.”

Seeing as you didn’t respond, he continued.

“Those talks we have before and after we hookup are some of my favorite moments. You’re so beautiful, and every single thing you do sends me into a slight spiral because I wonder how I was so lucky to even get a chance to be around you. I don’t even know all that much about you, Y/N, but the fact that we only see each other to hookup drives me crazy. I know this is a lot, but I’m just asking you to please, please give me a chance.”

His face was bright red, and yours had stayed unfaltering. You weren’t stupid, you had some idea of how Jake felt for you, but you never wanted to feed into it. You knew you never saw him that way, and you were hoping he would just never acknowledge it so you could stay the way you two were.

Fate never liked to work out for you, though.

You cleared your throat before grabbing his hand and looking him in the eye, “Jake. You’re a sweet guy, and hooking up with you has been super fun. But I’ve told you before, I don’t really do relationships. And, if I’m being honest with you, I really don’t feel that way towards you.”

He looked as if he was a little boy and you’d just purposefully popped his favorite balloon.

Alas, you continued, “You’re a great guy. But I don’t see you that way. Plus, I’ve told you before- I can’t keep hooking up with people if there’s feelings involved.”

He gulped again. This time, instead of nervousness, he looked like he was swallowing back tears.

“I think it’d be best if we stopped seeing each other.”

You finally dropped the bomb on him, giving his hand one squeeze before dropping it. You grabbed your bag from the couch and slipped on your shoes, making your way out of his apartment. You didn’t have to look back at him to know he was upset.

That day was around four months ago now. Ever since that day, you hadn’t seen Jake, and had no intentions of seeing him.

It didn’t matter what he was up to anyways, you’d been seeing this new guy, Park Sunghoon, from your accounting class. You met a month or two ago after being partnered up for a project with two other people. Any time the group made plans to work on the project together, the other two people always made up some random excuse as to why they wouldn’t be there, so you and Sunghoon became close in a short time period.

Sunghoon was different from a lot of guys that you’d met. He was quiet, introverted, and majorly unreadable. He was an extremely popular guy, but he never let it get to his head. Sunghoon never just talked to talk, he always had something to say that was worth some sort of meaning. He was unbelievably attractive, too, so of course you two hooked up very early on. But what drew you in the most about Sunghoon was that he wasn’t like all your other fuck-buddies.

For one, you and Sunghoon had established a somewhat friendship before hooking up the first time, rather than just blindly meeting each other while fucked up at a party. Sunghoon wasn’t like the other guys.

Another reason he was different was because he knew his boundaries. He and you both knew when to stop, when to make sure you were treading the line between friends-with-benefits to having feelings, and how to leave you alone just enough to have you feeling the same lust every time you hooked up. Sunghoon wasn’t Jake. Jake never knew boundaries. He was blind and stupid. Sunghoon knew better.

You and Sunghoon had been seeing each other for some time now, but had never actually been to an outing together. You’d met some of his friends; you were quite familiar with Heeseung. He and Ningning had been dating for about a month now, after going back and forth with each other for weeks on end prior to them getting together.

You were supposed to all have met at Heeseung and Sunghoon’s shared apartment at 6:30 PM, and you and Ningning had just arrived at 6:17 PM. She picked you up in her new car, offering to let you be the first person you drove in it. You took her up on the offer, and were even able to make it early to the apartment, which you were grateful for.

As you two unloaded yourselves from her car, you were met with a text from Sunghoon:

sunghoon 💨☺️ : hey are u guys oyw

You quickly sent him one back:

you : yeah

you : walking up to ur apartment’s entrance rn actually

Within a few seconds, you and Ningning were met with the sight of Heeseung. The boy’s apartment was on the third floor, and he had bounded all the way down the steps to meet you guys at the bottom landing.

“Hello,” Ningning offered, grabbing her boyfriend’s hand. He said nothing back as he took the two of you upstairs to the apartment, the door already open.

The next time you peeked at the clock was when you entered the doorway, and it read 6:22 PM. At the sound of you entering, Sunghoon left his bedroom and found you in the living room.

“You’re here early,” he teased, holding you from behind.

“You’re so touchy,” you craned your neck to look at him and found him already smiling at you.

“What, am I not allowed to be touchy with you? You of all people-” you elbowed him lightly to get him to shut up before turning around in his grasp, “I never said I didn’t like it.”

Sunghoon ruffled your hair before returning to his room. It seemed like Heeseung and Ningning had also retreated to his room for the time being, so you followed Sunghoon into his room.

When you walked in, he was putting some papers away into a desk, so you took the opportunity to immediately flop onto his bed. You weren’t worried about how your hair would look. You were only with Sunghoon, and you knew he had a comb laying around here somewhere.

He quickly made his way to his bed, leaning over you, “You look nice.”

“Thanks, I try.”

He sat down next to your figure and soon also flopped back. You wasted no time in turning towards him and messing with his hair, his ears, any part of his face that was accessible at the moment. Sunghoon kept swiping your hands away, soon getting tired of your antics and grabbing your wrists so you would stop. He evilly smiled at you, getting up so he could pin your hands down to the bed.

Suddenly, their doorbell buzzed. Sunghoon groaned as he got up from your playful wrestling match and told you to comb your hair before yelling, “Coming!”

You sat up and patted most of your hair down, but got up anyways to find the comb.

“I don’t need to comb my hair,” you mumbled as you took a look at yourself in the mirror. As you turned to look at the back of your hair, though, you sighed in defeat, “okay, never mind, I do.”

You started looking for the comb near his bed, and then his dresser, then near his desk, and you even peeked in his closet. It was nowhere to be found.

Maybe he hadn’t left it in his room? It was probably in the bathroom, which was all the way across the apartment. It was a bother to go get it, but you needed it. You grabbed your phone and small handbag that you’d brought to his room and ventured out into the apartment. From down the hallway, it sounded like the boys and Ningning had let in whoever else was joining you tonight, so even if you went to go get the comb, you’d need to meet them at some point anyways. May as well be now rather than never.

As you made your way into the living room, you saw the figures of Sunghoon, Heeseung, Ningning, and three other people. The three had their backs faced to you, so you couldn’t exactly tell who they were or what they looked like. Your entrance grabbed the attention of everyone, and you waved to the unfamiliar faces that you could see.

One of them was a boy, you couldn’t remember his name, but you knew you’d seen his face in pictures before. He was Sunghoon’s childhood friend or something along those lines. You would probably be better off not knowing his childhood friend’s name. Sure, Sunghoon was fun to mess around with, but you had to make sure neither of you treaded too closely to the “catching feelings” line.

The other girl looked around your age, maybe a year younger. She was extremely pretty and had a beautiful smile. Her hair was long, black, and it cascaded down her back like a waterfall. You hated to admit it, but you were slightly envious of her. It didn’t matter, though, because you really had no interpersonal relationship. She was just some girl who you’d probably never see again.

The second you caught sight of the third figure, you felt your heart slightly drop. As soon as you made eye contact, you made a point to walk as quickly to the bathroom as you could. Suddenly you really needed that comb.

You trapped yourself in the bathroom for a minute or two, letting every thought you had ram into you like a freight train. You didn’t care that Sunghoon brought friends over. This wasn’t the first time you’d met some friends of his, and it wouldn’t be the last. You didn’t even care that out of all people, Jake was there. You didn’t ever see him that way, and seeing him tonight, after months, definitely wouldn’t change anything.

What you did mind, however, was that Jake and Sunghoon knew each other. Or, even worse, they were friends. You had every intention of never seeing Jake again after you cut things off, and majorly, until today, you were successful. And of course, against all odds, he was going out with you all tonight.

To be frank, you weren’t terrified of the idea of Jake returning to your life; he was a nice guy. You didn’t mind having him around as a “friend” back when you did regularly see him, but it was what went beyond that that drove you away. You were sure he wasn’t too thrilled to see you either.

It would be fine, though. As long as you both ignored what happened in the past, everything would blow over just fine. Plus, there was a chance that the unfamiliar girl was with him. It would be good for the both of you if he had moved on.

Moments later, you were met with a knock on the door, followed by Sunghoon saying, “Everything okay?”

You unlocked the bathroom door and peeped your face through the crack, “All good. Just, uh, can’t find the comb.”

“Hey, it’s okay, I have a spare,” he tried to open the door, but you wouldn’t budge.

“Please let me in my own bathroom.”

This time you complied, shutting the door again after he entered, and he opened up the cabinet above the toilet to find his extra comb. Once located, he handed it over to you, watching you as you combed your hair in the mirror. He started, “All ready?”

You begrudgingly nodded and he exited the bathroom with you trailing behind.

Sunghoon led to you the group that was all now sitting on the couch and chairs surrounding his and Heeseung’s living room coffee table. You scanned the living area for a seat, noting that the only one available was on the other side of Jake. That idea was immediately scrapped. Once you stood next to Sunghoon, he introduced you to the group.

“Everybody, this is Y/N. Y/N, that’s Jay,” he pointed to the familiar boy from the pictures, “that’s Ella,” he motioned to the beautiful girl next to Jay, “and that’s Jake. Ella’s boyfriend.”

You nodded and waved slowly at the new faces, making sure not to pay any mind to Jake at all. It didn’t matter if this action hurt his feelings, he had a girlfriend now. He could go cry to her about it.

“Hi,” you started, “nice to meet you all.”

You finally decided to make eye contact with Jake after saying this, even if it wasn’t nice to meet him again. At least not in this situation. Immediately after locking eyes with you, Jake put his arm around Ella’s shoulder.

Heeseung was the next person to speak:

“Who wants some alcohol?”

The tension around the group began to dissipate when Heeseung got up to get the drinks, leaving his spot next to Ningning open. As you commandeered his spot, Sunghoon trailed behind you to stand behind the couch. He seemed to do that a lot.

You looked up at Sunghoon, saying, “Someone should probably help Heeseung with the drinks.”

He nodded, and Jay also quickly stood up to join the other two in the kitchen.

This left you, Ningning, and Ella. And Jake.

The couple quickly engaged in their own conversation before Ningning was able to elbow you in the side and whisper in your ear, “Didn’t you used to hook up with him?!”

You nodded briefly, widening your eyes quickly at the situation. She sent you a sympathetic smile and put her hand on your knee. In the past few months, you’d let yourself become closer with Ningning, which was a blessing for you. Even if you weren’t all that close, you still had her as a friend. It definitely helped that her boyfriend’s roommate was the guy you were seeing.

In a quick moment, Jake also stood up and went to the kitchen to help with drinks. In a sense, you kind of missed him. Sure, you didn’t miss his clingy nature, or the fact that he was the reason that you two fell apart, but he really was a good guy. Of course, there were times when you also missed having him in bed with you.

Ella looked nervous and adjusted her dress — a blue dress — before giving you and Ningning an awkward smile. You doubt she knew about you and Jake, and was probably just an anxious person. Even if she did know, though, it didn’t matter. Because what you and Jake had was in the past.

Ningning broke the silence first, “So, Ella, you and Jake? How’s that going?”

She smiled. God, she was absolutely stunning. You knew your own self value, but she was something else. She looked like the type of girl that beautiful poetry was written about. The blue dress she wore complimented her skin tone and brought out her best features. You had to give it to her, she really knew how to dress to the nines.

“It’s great,” she fawned, taking a peek over at his figure in the kitchen, “we’ve been dating for a couple months now, and he’s just so great.”

“Wow,” Ningning replied, “I’m happy for you guys!”

You nodded, adding, “How’d you two meet?”

“We were at the same party and Jay set us up,” she laughed, “I remember Jay telling me in our physics class that his ‘friend needed a new slate for dating’ and how he knew I was single, so he set us up at a party! I’m really happy he did, too.”

The new slate for dating of course meant you. You had forgotten about Jay and Jake sharing an apartment together, and obviously because of that, Jay knew who you were and what you did to Jake. More like what had happened, but you cursed yourself for forgetting that Jay was someone that knew both Jake and Sunghoon.

“Well, congrats!” Ningning smiled back at her, tucking a piece of hair behind her ear. Ella had turned her back on you two to watch the boys make drinks again, and in that moment, Ningning gave you the biggest “what the fuck??” look you’d ever seen in your life. You simply shrugged in return.

Not long after, the boys returned with drinks, ready for you all to pregame for the night ahead of you. You opted to just do straight Vodka shots with orange juice as a chaser to get yourself going. You watched Sunghoon take a few shots of Fireball before smiling at you and grabbing at your ears. That was a little habit you two had started doing: grabbing each other’s ears to mess with the other. You kind of realized that it could come off as a bit flirty, so you tried to hold back on doing it often, but sometimes it came to you like a second nature.

“Stop touching me,” you whined at him, swatting his hands off your ears.

“I can’t help it,” he cooed at you, “you just look so cute.”

Here it comes, flirty Sunghoon. It didn’t take very long for him to become tipsy, and when he did, he’d become a flirt. It was flattering, but when you were trying to get sloshed and you had him following you around like a dog, it could become extremely annoying.

You didn’t miss how Jake was watching you and Sunghoon’s interaction, even with Ella sitting right next to him.

Eventually, once everyone had finished pregaming, the Ubers to take you seven to the club had arrived at the apartment. You started grabbing your handbag and as you went to grab your phone, you realized you’d accidentally left it in the bathroom.

“Don’t wait up for me, I’ll just be a second,” you said to Sunghoon and Ningning as you walked to the bathroom to get your phone. The two listened, so once you returned to the living space, you noticed that the only three people left in the apartment were, including you, Jake and Heeseung.

You made a beeline for the door, but Jake was quickly on your heels. Heeseung stayed back to lock up the apartment.

As you descended the steps attempting to avoid Jake, you failed, as he caught up to you and started a conversation, “Hi.”

“Hey,” you replied half-heartedly. Either Jake couldn’t tell that you didn’t want to talk or he simply didn’t care, because he continued:

“So you and Sunghoon, huh?”

He sounded a bit hurt, but you weren’t going to feed into it. You promptly replied, “Yep. You have a girlfriend now, isn’t that crazy? How the times change.”

Jake nodded awkwardly, gulping, and then starting again, “Yeah, she’s cool. She’s not you though.”

You shook your head at him. It was unbelievable how much audacity he had to say that. Especially on the first day of seeing each other again. You cut him off for a reason, you reminded yourself.

“Yep.”

You ended the conversation there as you exited the apartment building, finding Sunghoon on the sidewalk. He gave you a confused look.

“Do you guys know each other?”

You pondered for a second before replying:

“Something like that.”

iii. LIKE A CRIMINAL

Exactly one day later, you found yourself at Sunghoon and Heeseung’s apartment, looking for your fling. You two had made plans to go drive out to see some of your mutual friends, and he was going to meet you at his place, but you had beaten him there.

He had told you where the hidden key was located, because you were notorious for showing up unannounced, and especially in this occasion he trusted you to house sit. Plus, you had expected him to be home in about ten minutes, like he’d texted you.

What you didn’t expect was to see Jake lying on the couch when you walked in. His head immediately shot up when he heard you enter. You gave him an extremely confused look before saying, “I’m just gonna go to Sunghoon’s room and wait for him to get here.”

You sped past him yet heard him say, “Wait, Y/N!”

You paid him no mind as you situated yourself on Sunghoon’s bed, lying down and pulling out your phone to text him:

you : i broke in again

Within moments, he replied:

sunghoon 💨☺️ : not surprised

sunghoon 💨☺️ : there’s a car accident but im on my way

sunghoon 💨☺️ : it’s looking like it’ll still be 10 mins though i will be speedy for u

you : my hero! 😮😮

You put your phone down and you were met with the sight of Jake standing in Sunghoon’s doorway. As if on cue, you sighed. It’d been a whole one day since you saw him last and he couldn’t leave you alone. It was like your own personal Hell.

You couldn’t deny that he looked really good though.

Jake approached you slowly and with caution, “Sorry about what I said yesterday. About Ella not being you. It was weird, and I was tipsy, so I’m sorry.”

You raised your eyebrows at the man in front of you. You sat up and tilted your head at him, “You’re.. forgiven.”

He sent you a small smile before pulling up a chair to sit across from you on. You checked the time on your phone before looking back at him. It had to be only about eight-ish minutes until Sunghoon arrived.

Jake spoke next, “It’s nice to see you again.”

You nodded at him, “It’s been a bit.”

He smiled at you, “It’s definitely odd for me to see you with Sunghoon now, but he’s a good guy.”

You shrugged, “I don’t know if you could consider him someone I’m ‘with’ right now, he’s kind of just a fuck-buddy. He’s very sweet though, you’re right.”

“Homie hopping, I see,” Jake teased you from across the room. You hated to admit it, but you did really miss being around him. You’d forgotten how he knew just how to press your buttons, tease you, and make you feel just as annoyed as you did lustful.

You playfully shoved his shoulder from across him.

“I miss us,” you admitted, “not because I’m unhappy with Sunghoon, but having you around was always nice. Sometimes I wish we could go back to the way things were.”

“I feel the same,” Jake replied instantly. It was almost as if he’d been waiting for you to say that. However, before formulating his next sentence, he took a pause. His next sentence was barely spoken above a whisper:

“Maybe it could.”

You furrowed your eyebrows at him. Did he say what you thought he did?

“What?”

Jake slowly got closer to you, and you felt yourself transported back four months. God, he always knew how to make you feel weak in the knees. Sunghoon did too, but it was different. You had really liked messing around with Jake.

In the next moment, you could feel Jake’s lips almost on your own. Your heart skipped a beat.

“Maybe it could,” it was barely louder than last time, but this time it rung through your whole body. You found yourself grabbing one of his arms, almost feeding into the past with him.

You two broke apart as soon as you heard the door open. You motioned for Jake to hide behind the bed frame while you went to talk to Sunghoon, as he had just arrived. How ironic.

“Hello, Y/N,” he smiled, ruffling your hair slightly, “did you miss me all too much?”

“Not even a little bit,” you teased, going up behind him and smacking his ass. He immediately whipped around and you slipped away and ran to the living room, laughing.

“You’re such a bother,” he cornered you between the table and the wall, ready to grab you whenever you decided to try and run away.

You screamed as he once again chased you, and once he finally caught you, he picked you up and took you to the couch.

“Get your shoes on,” he ordered, “we should probably get going soon.”

You complied, rising from the couch and patting down your hair, “You’re really good at messing up my hair,” you complained sarcastically from across the room.

“Damn right, I am.”

You slipped on your sneakers and met Sunghoon at the door of the apartment.

“Ready to go?” he asked, to which you nodded.

You both left the building and bounded down to his car outside of the apartment.

As you neared the car, you couldn’t push away the guilt that was eating you alive from what happened with Jake. Sure, you and Sunghoon weren’t exclusive or anything serious, but it still felt wrong in a way. You and Jake were meant to be left in the past.

Around five minutes later, you receive a text:

unknown number : hey

You stared at it, confused, before responding:

you : who is this

The number wasted no time to respond:

unknown number : take a wild guess

unknown number : :)

You rolled your eyes, immediately knowing who it was, wondering how he obtained your number:

you : jake how the fuck did you get my number

You swiftly changed the contact name, then waited for a response. Sunghoon looked over at you, “Are you good?”

Caught off guard, you stumbled over your words, “Yeah, yeah, I’m goo- I’m great. Why wouldn’t I be?” He furrowed his eyebrows at you before turning his gaze back to the road, “You’re a bad liar.”

Suddenly, Jake responded:

do not answer : doesn’t matter

do not answer : i have a question though

You rolled your eyes, typing a response:

you : what

As if on cue, he texted back:

do not answer : what was that earlier

do not answer : in sunghoon’s room

do not answer : and do not fucking say nothing

You silently sighed and then formulated a message:

you : i don’t know, let’s just forget about it

His end went silent suddenly. You chewed your lip nervously, awaiting a response. You didn’t need one, you knew that. But knowing him, he wouldn’t let you have the last word. Especially not in this situation.

About an hour later, you received a final message:

do not answer : can you meet me tonight

iv. A FIRE BURNS INSIDE ME

You knew you were making a big mistake. It was a horrible idea: agreeing to meet Jake in secret. You really didn’t know why you made such stupid decisions sometimes; it was like you were your own worst enemy.

But here you were, at 10pm, quietly knocking on Jake’s apartment door. He had told you that Jay staying with his parents as he went to visit them out of town, and obviously there would be no trace of Ella there. You felt bad for the girl, knowing that you were meeting up with her boyfriend in private. Plus, with the whole bedroom incident earlier, you would need to tread lightly. You were going to make sure that nothing happened.

You waited at the door for another minute before Jake opened it quickly and ushered you in, “I have neighbors who know Ella, so I can’t have them getting the wrong idea if you’re here.”

Right. Funny.

He shut the door behind you quickly, leading you to the couch in his living room. The last time you were on this couch was the last time you ever planned on seeing Jake.

You opted on taking a seat on one side of the couch after Jake sat himself on the other. He smiled at you from his spot, trying to ease your nerves about behind there alone with him.

“Do you want something to drink?” He asked. He knew you well.

You smirked, “A glass of red wine would be lovely.”

He got up from his seat on the couch and quickly made his way to the kitchen. Your eyes trailed his figure before it went out of sight. Taking a deep breath, you checked your phone, a couple messages dancing across your screen.

From Sunghoon:

sunghoon 💨☺️ : no

sunghoon 💨☺️ : but i can try to work something out

From Ningning:

ningning : okay i can pick you up if you’d like

From an attractive boy in your major:

wonbin park : yea i didn’t understand it either if that makes you feel any better

wonbin park : if you want to we could try to meet up with the professor for help

wonbin park : up to you tho

And from a childhood friend, Jungwon:

jungwon 🚨🚨 : u make such bad decisions y/n

jungwon 🚨🚨 : if u still lived in town i’d come find u and strangle u idk

Jungwon was really calling you out. You knew he was right, you should probably just leave.

In the same breath, though, Jake did offer to give you a drink, and to at least be polite, you knew you should stay until you finish it.

Jake made his way back from the kitchen to find you, and he had two glasses of red wine and the wine bottle, both glasses in one hand and the bottle in the other. He placed your glass in front of you onto a coffee table with the bottle nearby and sat down with his own glass.

You took a sip before breaking the silence, “So why did you call me over?”

“I dunno,” he answered, “I feel like we kind of have some catching up to do, I guess. Do you wanna watch something? A romcom, maybe?”

“That’s fine.” You needed the background noise if you were going to talk to Jake anyways. You might go insane if you had to engage in conversation and give him your undivided attention.

For the first half hour of the film, no words were exchanged besides commentary about the plot. Once you two had finished a couple of drinks, the atmosphere lightened up, and you began to converse more freely.

“What do you really think about Sunghoon?”

A question that Jake asked that had actually stuck out to you amongst his nonsense. You couldn’t pinpoint exactly why this question bothered you so much, but you answered anyways:

“He’s a gentlemen. Great in bed, good friend, pretty funny. Sometimes I could see myself gaining feelings for him, but I seriously doubt that’ll happen. I just can’t go for fuck-buddies, y’know?”

Jake laughed, “I mean, I don’t know. Obviously.”

You rolled your eyes playfully at him before reaching over and flicking his forehead, “Knock it off.”

He made a swipe at your wrist but you’d pulled it away too quickly for him to grab. He slouched in his spot, teasing you while singing, “Sorry..”

You readjusted yourself on the couch before taking your turn to ask a question, “What do you really think of Ella?”

At her name, Jake tensed up slightly. It was subtle, but enough of his body reacted for you to notice.

“Hah.. about that…” he trailed off.

“What? What happened? You guys were literally all over each other yesterday,” you nagged. It was true; Ella was gushing about Jake while she talked to you two, and when all of you went out, they never left the other person’s side.

“We, uh, we’re on a break. Right now, I mean,” he confessed, surprising you.

“What the hell? Why?” you asked, almost accusatory, though you assumed the break happened due to Ella, but you couldn’t be sure. You grabbed the TV remote and paused the movie, wanting to actually listen to his story.

Jake sighed, “I really couldn’t tell you,” he paused, taking a drink of the wine, “it was really sudden. It happened this morning.”

“Oh, I’m so sorry. That really sucks,” you comforted him, scooting closer to pat him on his knee. You let your hand rest there for a couple of seconds, and Jake puts his hand on top of yours.

“Don’t touch me,” you teased, lightly hitting him on the shoulder.

“Don’t touch me!!” Jake mocked you, now going for the side of your neck with a small jab.

“Jake,” you warned, playfully giving him a scowl. At this point, you had sat up on your knees, giving you a better range of motion to attack the man in front of you, and a better opportunity to dodge his attacks.

As you went to try and grab his waist for pressure points, he grabbed your wrists and pulled you closer to him, “Jake….” He mocked, getting in your face to tease you.

The play fighting soon escalated into playful wrestling on his couch, mostly with Jake winning as he was much stronger than you.

At some point, he pushed you a little too hard and you landed with your back on the couch. Because he was holding your wrist at the moment, you took him with you on your small tumble, causing the man to be hovering inches away from your face.

His outer arm was propped up on the couch, caging you into your spot. He was still holding onto your wrist with his other hand. You could smell the wine on his breath, but it was ultimately overpowered by the scent of his cologne.

That goddamn cologne.

In an instant, you pushed your lips onto his. The kiss was fiery, sloppy, and hot. He tasted like alcohol. You didn’t even care.

Jake immediately leaned further into the kiss, his grip on your wrist loosening almost instantly. You felt him breathe a sigh through his nose, signifying that he had been anticipating, hoping something that like this would happen.

You took this as a sign to continue. You brought your free hand to the nape of his neck, slightly running your fingers through his hair. Jake slightly groaned into your mouth before taking the hand that was holding your wrist and instead bringing it to the side of your face.

The alcohol coursed through your veins as you made your next move. Lust-driven, you pushed Jake slightly in the chest with your free hand and you both sat up, your lips temporarily leaving the other’s.

As soon as you were both sat normally on the couch, Jake pulled you into his lap, his hands finding your waist. You brought your hands to his shoulders, one hand making its way to his upper back and the other one going to grab for his hair again.

Jake swiped his tongue on your bottom lip, and you immediately complied, opening your mouth to kiss him deeper. Jake gripped your waist tighter and pulled you closer to him, your bodies now touching. As he pulled you, you felt his bulge in his pants brush up against your lower regions, eliciting a whimper out of you. You pulled onto his hair harder.

Jake’s hands slowly made their way from your waist to your torso, his cold hands slipping under your baggy shirt you wore, giving you goosebumps.

His breath made you crinkle your nose when you broke apart momentarily, his half-lidded eyes meeting yours. He began running a hand up and down your back, his eyes instead making their way down to your parted lips. Jake took his right hand from under your shirt and gently pushed your hair away from above your shoulder, exposing your neck and a part of your collarbone.

He met eyes with you again while leaning in, looking for your okay. You couldn’t even think straight, you had forgotten how much this man drove you crazy with lust. You just bit your lip and nodded, and he immediately started planting kisses on your neck, slowly bringing them further down your body, towards your collarbone and shoulder. At points, he would find your weak spots and kiss deeper, longer, and he would even suck on the skin.

You hated that he still remembered you well.

You guys were meant to be in the past.

What the fuck were you doing right now?

You tried getting his attention, though most of the words came out as whimpers because of what he was doing, “Jake… Jake.”

You moved your hands from his neck and back and placed them both on the top of his shoulders, slightly pushing him back. He detached himself from your neck and looked back at you with eyes that you didn’t know could contain that much lust.

“Jake…”

Jake loosened his grip on your torso and dropped his hands back to your hips. His voice was husky as he replied, “Yeah? Is everything okay?” You could still smell the wine on his breath due to the proximity, making a point to remove your hands from his shoulders now.

You gulped at him, looking at him in the eyes with a concerned expression, “No, no. Everything’s not okay.”

He tilted his head in confusion at you, signaling that he wanted you to continue, “What’s wrong, Y/N?”

“Us, Jake. We shouldn’t be doing this. You and I both know this, I don’t know why I even agreed to come here…” you started rambling, taking Jake’s hands off your hips and pulling yourself off his lap. You straightened out your clothes before pacing around his living room, searching for your shoes. You cursed yourself a million times.

“What? Y/N, what did I do?” Jake sounded worried, getting up from the couch and following your body with his eyes.

You turned to face him, “Jake. You and I both know damn well that ‘this’,” you beckoned between the two of you, “should not be happening.”

“What do you mean?” He started walking towards you, you now scampering away because you found your shoes. You needed to leave as soon as possible.

“Are you kidding me? What do you mean , ‘what do you mean?’? Jake, you have a girlfriend. What the fuck are we doing?” You sighed exasperated at him, slipping your shoes on in a quick manner.

“Fuck,” he said, running a hand through his hair, “fuck, Y/N. You know we’re on a break.”

“That doesn’t mean you should pounce on me at the first opportunity you get!” You emphasized, getting frustrated. “I was stupid for coming over here alone. I’m sorry for initiating anything. We need to be left in the past.”

“We don’t have to be, though!” Jake urged, his voice also raising, “Y/N, I know you’re with Sunghoon, but you don’t have to be. I can treat you right. You- you deserve better.” Jake began slurring his words, the alcohol taking over his speech process.

You looked at him, eyebrows furrowed in anger, “This was a mistake.”

You grabbed all your belongings before quickly exiting his apartment. As you left, you heard Jake calling your name, “Y/N!”

You couldn’t believe yourself. It wasn’t about Ella or Sunghoon. Ella didn’t have a say if she initiated a break with him, and Sunghoon didn’t have a say either; he was just your fuck-buddy after all.

What it was about was you not sticking to what you told yourself. You and Jake needed to be something that stayed in the past, yet here you just were, making out with him in his apartment, months after breaking things off. You knew better.

You quickly called Ningning, who lived about a couple blocks away. She picked up the phone right as you exited the apartment complex.

“Hello?”

“Hey.”

“Woah, you sound fucked up. Are you okay?”

“I- I don’t know. Probably not. I’m drunk. Can you come pick me up?”

“Where are you?”

You cleared your throat before continuing, trying to formulate this next sentence as best as possible without sounding guilty, even though you were very much guilty.

“I’m, uh, like right near Jake’s apartment building. Like, I’m standing in front of it now.”

Ningning had picked you up from Jake’s apartment before when you used to hook up, especially when you and her had made plans for the following day. She knew exactly where you were. She didn’t give you a physical reaction, but you were sure to hear about it the following morning.

“I’m on my way. Stay right where you are.”

Within a minute or two, Ningning pulled up in front of the apartment building. Once you got in the car, you were met with a crazed look, “You have a lot of fucking explaining to do.”

“I know. I know. It’s not what you think it is, though.” You lied right through your teeth to her. Whatever was happening at Jake’s was about to escalate into exactly what Ningning was assuming you were doing there. You’re glad you stopped it, but the feeling of being pissed off at yourself for even going overpowered any happiness you felt in the moment. You couldn’t even think properly anyways. The wine had taken a bigger toll on you than you’d anticipated.

Ningning started driving towards her apartment in silence.

Suddenly, your phone screen lit up with a text:

do not answer : im sorry

v. MY HEART CRAVES YOU

A week or two later and you hadn’t seen Jake and had no plans to. You still beat yourself up over what happened, sometimes contemplating whether going out was even worth it anymore. You always had that chance of running into him.

But, when Sunghoon invited you to pregame with him, Heeseung, and Ningning before a party, you figured that you’d been celibate from parties for long enough now, and going to at least one wouldn’t hurt. You missed the atmosphere of getting fucked up and not having to think about anything for a bit. It’s what you needed right now anyways.

You found yourself at Sunghoon’s apartment again, waiting outside the door for him to let you in. You chewed on your lip at the situation; Sunghoon had no idea about what happened, but you were terrified it would all come back to bite you in the ass sooner or later. You pushed the thought out of your brain. You and Sunghoon weren’t anything serious anyways.

Sunghoon opened the door and pulled you into his apartment, “Hey!”

You smiled at him almost immediately. Being around him really did ease your nerves, you hated to admit. He looked really good tonight, clad in just a T-shirt and his sweatpants with freshly washed hair.

“Hi,” you laughed, following him to his room, “sorry I’m here early, I tried to take more time getting ready, but I haven’t partied in a couple weeks and I got eager.”

“Why are you apologizing for coming to see me early? I like having you around,” he said as you sat yourself on his bed. He tugged at the top of your ear once.

“Okay, cornball,” you blushed at his words, rolling your eyes playfully at him, “You’re such a flirt.”

“I’m not allowed to flirt with you now?” He questioned you dramatically, “What kind of society do we live in?”

You laughed at his antics as he walked to his closet to pick an outfit for the night. He held up clothes for you, waiting for you to give him either a thumbs up or down depending on your opinion on it.

He ended up settling on a pair of black pants, a white hoodie, and he threw on a basketball jersey over it.

“Never knew you were such an athlete,” you commented, teasing him.

It sounded like Ningning and Heeseung had returned, bringing others with them. Sunghoon pulled you up from his bed and took you to the living room. You were met with the sight of Jay, Ella, and of course, Jake. You weren’t even surprised at this point.

“Oh,” Sunghoon remembered, “I forgot to tell you that Jay, Jake, and Ella are joining us to pregame. I hope you don’t really mind.”

“Even if I did, I don’t think it would really matter.” You half grumbled at him, hoping he wouldn’t pick up on your mannerisms.

You stopped him with you in the hallway, whispering, “Wait, why is Ella here?”

“What do you mean?” He furrowed his eyebrows at you, looking confused.

“I don’t know, someone told me that her and Jake went on a break.”

Sunghoon shook his head at you, “Uh, no. At least as far as I’m aware, they didn’t. I saw them on a date the day after you and I went to go see our friends. They’re with each other basically every day.”

You had to fight every urge to heavily sigh at the moment, “Oh, okay. Weird.”

You were so confused. The day after you and Sunghoon visited friends was the day after the whole incident that drove you away from Jake for two weeks happened. The same damn day, and he was with her the day after. A day long break didn’t make any sense to you. She was happy with him, and you all weren’t in high school. You shook your head at yourself with furrowed eyebrows as you walked back with Sunghoon towards the living room.

You smiled at Ella, who had Jake’s arm slithered around her waist. That poor fucking girl. She had no idea. You couldn’t believe him.

She smiled back at you radiantly. She was so beautiful.

Everyone stood in the living room, but instead of staying there, you all decided to head towards the kitchen to pregame, where there were already drinks out. You grabbed a Twisted Tea as you passed it, immediately cracking it open to drink. You needed the alcohol. The situation was stressing you out more than you’d like to admit. You had to confront Jake.

Around twenty minutes later, you found yourself passing him and tapping his leg. When he turned around, you gave him a look of “you need to talk with me, now.”

You slipped away to the bathroom, no one seemingly noticing your exit. You wanted this talk to be as quick as possible.

About three minutes of waiting later, Jake also slipped into the bathroom. He smiled at you as he walked in. You couldn’t believe his audacity.

“Hey, what’s up?” He asked, walking towards you. You put distance between him and yourself, crossing your arms.

If looks could kill, Jake would be a dead man.

“What the fuck is your problem?” You whisper-shouted, looking at him incredulously.

“Huh?”

“I heard from the grapevine that you,” you forcibly pointed at him, “and Ella were never on a break.”

His eyes widened. You were sure he didn’t mean to get caught, but his look told you everything.

“Don’t think I wouldn’t have found out, Sim,” you spat at him, “you’re actually unbelievable.”

An apology immediately started rushing out of his mouth at you, “Y/N, I’m so sorry. It’s just, I was intoxicated, and- and so were you, and we were alone… you know I’ve always had a thing for you since we met. But- but you’re with Sunghoon now, I know, so I saw it as my only chance.”

“Jake,” you sighed, “I honestly don’t think I can accept your apology. You know better. And you should apologize to Ella instead. I’m with Sunghoon now, and I know we were both drunk, but that can neverhappen again.”

He gulped before you laid the mallet down on him, “Last time we tried this should be evident of that.”

“You’re right.”

You immediately walked past him, opening the door to the bathroom and slipping back out and walking towards the kitchen.

Jake followed you around four minutes later, delaying his arrival to not bring up any suspicions. You made your way to stand between Ningning and Jay, grabbing another drink.

Seconds later, Sunghoon appeared behind you. He slid his arms around your waist, his cold touch sending a shiver down your spine. You craned your neck to look at him, trying to make eye contact but his eyes were elsewhere. His gaze was honed in on Jake, and if looks could kill, there would be Jake’s blood all over the apartment right now.

Jake averted eye contact and opted to look at Ella.

Once the pregaming ended, you found yourself in a car with Heeseung, Sunghoon, and Ningning. Heeseung was the designated driver, and you were grateful that you could get sloshed tonight and not have to think about anything for a bit.

Heeseung parked about a block away from the party, Jay parking about thirty feet behind you guys. The walk to the party was surprisingly cold for it being an almost summer night, the weather not missing its chance to brush the cold winds against your bare legs.

“You cold?” Sunghoon asked, taking a look over at you.

“Maybe a bit,” you admitted, wrapping each of your arms around the other, “it’s fine, it’ll probably be sweaty in there anyways.”

Soon you all reached the party, one by one trailing into the loud house. It was already insanely packed, each corner and crevice of the place having people in it. The music was deafening, and the heat that already made its way towards you was all the evidence you needed that wearing only a dress was a good idea.

Sunghoon grabbed your hand, pulling you through the crowd and towards what you assumed would be the kitchen, or wherever the drinks would be located.

You made sure to grip well on his hand, because every person you tried to walk by somehow ended up not noticing your presence and never moving, causing you to fall behind.

Sunghoon led you into the kitchen, where it was surprisingly less crowded. You still could barely hear even though the music was a room away now. You could also barely see, the lights were so dim that you had to squint to see the faces of those around you.

There were a lot of drinks to choose from, most being put in plastic pitchers with labels made out of packing tape and sharpie.

You walked over, grabbed a red solo cup, and then made your way towards the pitcher labeled “JUNGLE JUICE” and poured yourself a cup, it almost being filled to the brim.

“Woah,” Sunghoon commented when he saw how full your drink was, “you should calm down with the amount, Y/N. Don’t want you getting sick.”

You looked at him, took a drink, then commented, “I may get sick, I may not. Not the end of the world if I do.”

He gave you a pointed look before asking, “Do you want to go back to the living room?”

You nodded and followed his lead as he parted the way for you. You tried your best to not get separated from him. It wasn’t like you weren’t able to handle being by yourself at a party, but you wanted to get a few drinks in before attempting to be independent.

Half an hour passed and you were on your fifth drink of the night. You weren’t sure how it was physically possible, but after you finished your fifth drink, you wanted another. You needed to forget everything that had happened over the past few weeks, and even if it was for one night, that was okay with you.

You parted ways with Sunghoon once again for the night, beckoning towards the kitchen and telling him that you’d be back soon.

After getting your sixth drink, you had every intention of getting back to Sunghoon. Instead, you found yourself getting intrigued by the outdoors. There weren’t many people outside, only about fifteen, but you figured there was nothing wrong with taking a breath of fresh air for a moment.

Opening the door, you were get again met with the cold breeze, but with all the alcohol running through your veins, you didn’t feel as cold as you did earlier.

You stepped onto the concrete patio and spotted who you thought was a classmate, Wonbin Park. He was sitting by himself in a lawn chair, seemingly observing everyone in the backyard.

You approached him, making yourself seen, to which he waved at you. You stood by his chair and he looked up at you.

“Hey,” he started, smiling at you. You doubted he had drank as much as you, you were sure you looked a mess. He looked fine. Good, even.

“Hey,” you replied, “what are you doing here?”

He laughed at your words, “I’m here to drink and forget about the past week. You?”

“It’s like you read my mind,” you commented.

“Almost like that’s what parties are for,” Wonbin said, nudging your bare knee, “how are you not cold right now?”

“I’ve had a lot to drink,” you admitted.

“I can tell,” he replied, “you should probably not finish that.”

Wonbin motioned to the drink in your hand, now already half empty.

“I’m fine.”

“You don’t look fine.”

As if Wonbin could read your mind, he wasn’t surprised when you gagged, suddenly feeling hot acid rising in your throat.

You ran over to the grass and let a bit of vomit escape your mouth, your eyes watering at the taste.

Wonbin walked quickly over to you, “Let’s get you inside, yeah?”

As he brought you inside, he asked, “Who are you here with?”

You had your hand held over your mouth as you tried not to vomit anymore. Wonbin ushered you to an empty bathroom so you could get sick (mostly) in peace.

“Are you here with Sunghoon?” He asked, worried for you.

You nodded miserably as you hunched over the toilet and let loose. It wasn’t as much as you thought it would be, but you felt disgusting. You knew it wouldn’t be all in one go, your stomach was upset. You’d probably be here for at least twenty minutes.

Wonbin looked at you, “I don’t want to leave you here alone, but I’m gonna go find Sunghoon.”

You offered no response as you continued getting sick in the toilet. The room smelled like alcohol, vomit, and toilet water. The smell alone could’ve made you vomit even more.

A minute later, a familiar figure entered the bathroom and crouched next to you. You were hoping it would be Sunghoon, but by the smell of the cologne which was now mixed in the air, you knew exactly who it was.

You wanted to be mad, but you were too miserable to focus your energy on that. You were just grateful someone would be there to help you while you tried not to die.

He gently pulled your hair back for you, keeping it up so you wouldn’t get sick all over it.

Jake could be alright sometimes.

He placed his other hand comfortingly on your back, rubbing it, hoping to soothe whatever you were going through. This action was cut short, however, when Wonbin returned with Heeseung, Ningning, and Sunghoon.

Even as loud as it was and as drunk as you were, the way that Sunghoon barked Jake’s surname rang through your mind, “Sim.”

You looked up from your spot to watch Heeseung, Jake, and Sunghoon disappear. Wonbin ushered Ningning towards you, her now taking the spot that Jake once occupied.

“Do you need anything?” Wonbin asked carefully.

You shook your head at him, not being able to speak.

“Okay,” he paused, “please don’t die, Y/N.”

You laughed as much as you physically could at his words, which in reality was a small chuckle, but if you had done any more, you could’ve thrown up all over Ningning. Throwing up in the toilet was enough for you.

Wonbin left. Quickly, Ningning turned to you and asked, “Y/N, why the fuck were you in here with Jake?”

“I-” you slightly turned to her, trying to speak, but failing. You turned your head back to the toilet bowl and hurled some more.

“I don’t know,” you croaked out, as loud as you could, “he- he didn’t bring me in here. Wonbin did. Jake just- he showed up.”

You slurred some of your words together. You couldn’t remember the last time you were this drunk.

Ningning said nothing but hummed at what you said. You didn’t think that she didn’t believe you, but you also weren’t sure that she did believe you.

Ten minutes of hurling later, Sunghoon and Heeseung returned in the doorway of the bathroom. Ningning got up and Sunghoon took her place, “I told you that you were gonna be sick.”

You vomited again.

He placed a hand on the small of your back and rubbed in a circle. You were glad he showed up. His presence made you feel a lot better than Jake’s did.

You stayed there for five minutes before attempting to stand up with the help of Sunghoon.

“Let’s leave,” he said to Heeseung.

Sunghoon laced his fingers with yours as he helped you out of the house. In the time that you’d been throwing up, the amount of people in the house had waned down. It was less difficult to make your way through the crowd now.

Most of the faces blurred as you walked past, but one really stuck out to you. Jake Sim was sitting on a couch with Ella.

His lip had been completely busted open.

You paid no mind to the wind as you exited the house. If anything, you welcomed it with open arms. It semi-sobered you up.

In the process of becoming more sober, you had come to the realization of something:

Jake hadn’t had a busted lip when he was comforting you.

What the Hell had happened in those ten minutes?

vi. I CAN’T REFUTE MY INSTINCTS

Sunghoon, somehow, had become even more protective of you as of late. You figured it had something to do with whatever happened between him and Jake at the party, and you had your suspicions of what went down, but when you’d asked Sunghoon, he always just tried to ignore the situation. Plus, you didn’t know if he would tell you the full truth anyways.

So, you got the genius idea to confront Jake instead.

Who were you kidding, it was a horrible idea. But you needed to have your suspicions confirmed, at the very least. So you texted him:

you : jake

Within seconds, a response came:

do not answer : yo

do not answer : what’s up

You couldn’t believe he was hitting you with a “yo” right now. Was he allergic to social cues?

you : i need to ask you about something

you : can i come over later

you : don’t get any ideas

He took a minute before responding:

do not answer : ig

do not answer : jays not home rn just come now

you : ok

You left your apartment within minutes. You weren’t exactly eager to see Jake, but nonetheless, you really wanted to know what was up with the party the other night. Even after you suffered through a hangover, you remembered that moment perfectly.

When you arrived at Jake’s apartment building, you chewed on your lip. You weren’t exactly sure why. You knew that nothing would happen, and all that was going to happen was Jake telling you the truth.

At least you hoped.

When you went to knock on his door, it swung open, Jake’s large figure greeting you before you even had a chance to register what was happening. He stepped to the side and let you walk in. You only made your way to further down his entrance hallway; you wanted to be in and out of here as quickly as humanly possible.

Jake trailed your figure and met you at the end of the hallway. He stood directly across from you and mirrored your body language as he leaned against the wall and crossed his arms.

“So,” you started, not wanting to waste any more time.

“So.”

You sighed, “I need you to be completely transparent with me, Jake.”

He gave you a pointed look, “What’s the problem?” He didn’t seem all too thrilled that you were here for once, which was a genuine surprise for you. You didn’t fail to notice how his lip was still busted, so you went ahead and bit the bullet:

“What happened to your lip?”

The question was simple, it could be chalked up to a friend having concern for another friend. But it wasn’t. You weren’t even really friends, and your only concern was the reason behind the busted lip. Not the person suffering the blow of it.

Jake’s gaze faltered slightly and you almost missed it. He swallowed quickly, “Nothing. I just hit it on something.”

“Bullshit,” you snapped back, “that’s bullshit and we both know it.”

“Why do you even care?” He pushed, his annoyance at you now becoming prevalent.

You rolled your eyes but had to think for a second. Why did you care? You didn’t care about Jake’s lip, you could give less of a fuck. You desperately needed to know about why it happened though. And why Sunghoon had suddenly flipped a switch. You weren’t stupid, you obviously knew something went down. But you needed your suspicions to be confirmed at the very least.

“You’re hurt, Jake,” you lied through your teeth, “anyone with eyes can see that your lip is fucked up. I care about whether you’re hurt. And I have a feeling it has to do with Sunghoon,” you paused, “and I’m sure you know that I should know what happened. But he hasn’t told me anything.”

You finally looked at him again, “Which is why I came to you.”

Jake sighed, running a hand through his hair. You knew you’d cracked him. It was almost too easy. You just hoped what he admitted was the full truth.

He licked his lips before speaking, “You’re right. This,” he motioned to his busted lip, “does have to do with Sunghoon. There. You happy now?”

So you were right. You desperately needed to know the details, though. You didn’t give up that easily.

“Jake.”

“What?”

“What happened between you guys?”

He let out another sigh, then pursing his lips to fight a scowl. He laughed a bit to himself before clearing his throat:

“We fought.”

You weren’t shocked. Between Sunghoon’s newfound behavior and Jake’s altered physical appearance, you assumed that was what happened. However, you feigned shock so he could continue.

“Yeah, I know, right? Funny. Good guy Sunghoon tried to beat the shit out of me,” he laughed through the pain, a look of discontent in his eyes.

“Why… why would he do that?” You mustered out. You scared yourself sometimes with how well you could act.

“You tell me.”

Your words temporarily genuinely got caught in your throat, “W- what?”

Jake tilted his head at you, “He’s your boyfriend.”

“Jake, you already know that he refuses to tell me anything about this. Plus, he and I aren’t dating anyways.”

“Really,” he commented passive aggressively, “because for someone who isn’t dating you, he was really protective over me helping you. While you were throwing up, mind you.”

“Huh?”

It started to click. The appearance of Jake, followed by the appearance of Sunghoon, Sunghoon barking Jake’s name, them leaving, and Sunghoon coming back, alone. And, of course, the busted lip.

“Yeah. Your little not-boyfriend was mad that I was your knight in shining armor for once, not him,” he scoffed, “and he told me to back off.”

“Oh.”

“Yeah. Said he has suspicions about me or some shit like that.”

You laughed at his words. Of course Sunghoon had suspicions about Jake. You would have suspicions too if you were him.

“What’s funny?”

You attempted to return to normal, “Nothing, nothing. It’s just- Jake. You really can’t be mad about him having suspicions.”

Jake paused and chuckled while running a hand through his hair once more, “Yeah, he’s not wrong for having them, I guess.”

You rolled your eyes playfully at him before becoming a bit more serious, “Okay. Well, uh, I’m sorry about, y’know, that,” you motioned to his lips, “and- and thank you. For helping me all those days ago. And for being honest with me.” You gave him a genuine smile.

“Yeah, of course, uh, I’ll see you around then?” Jake said as you started walking towards his apartment door.

“Maybe,” you left him hanging, and as you were going to pull the door open, you turned to face him one last time as he waved bye to you.

Pulling the door open, you turned around, ready to leave. Instead, you ran into a tall figure, who was clearly trying to enter while you were trying to exit. So much for trying to go to see Jake unnoticed.

The man you ran into was none other than Jay.

vii. LIKE A FEVER

You weren’t surprised. You really weren’t.

Of course Jay would tell Sunghoon that you were at Jake’s. Of fucking course. And honestly, after the conversation you and Jake had about how Sunghoon felt about you two, you didn’t blame Jay for narcing. You did kind of resent him for it, though, because jumping to conclusions never ends well.

Plus, the situation had absolutely nothing to do with Jay. He should have just butted out while he was ahead.

When Sunghoon arrived at your apartment the morning following the Jay incident, you expected it to be a pleasant visit. Not whatever he was doing right now.

As soon as you let him in, he stormed past you into your living room. You tried to grab his arm but he just shook you off.

You shut the door and turned back around. He looked tense. You knew this wasn’t going to end well.

You shyly followed him into the living room, not entirely sure why you were cowering at the moment. You wanted to chalk it up to the fact that it was Sunghoon, but you were never this nervous about confrontations with fuck-buddies. It was weird.

When he reached the couch, he sat down and motioned for you to sit on the chair adjacent to it. Sunghoon ran a hand across his face and groaned.

“Y/N,” he breathed out, obviously irritated.

You looked at him, “Sunghoon…”

He scoff-laughed, “Do you want to explain yourself to me?”

“About- about what?” You asked. You weren’t dumb, but that doesn’t mean you wouldn’t play dumb for the time being.

“Don’t fucking play dumb, Y/N,” Sunghoon spat at you, “okay? Do not play dumb.”

“I can’t explain myself if I don’t know what you want me to explain.”

He sighed. You were right. You could tell he hated when you were right, because you’d cornered him into expressing his anger. Men never seemed to like to talk about their feelings.

“Okay,” he sighed, once more, exasperatedly, “Do you wanna tell me why you were at Jake’s yesterday? Alone?”

“Who told you that? Was it Jay? Because he doesn’t know the full story-”

“It doesn’t matter who it was, Y/N! You need to explain yourself!”

He stood up at his last sentence and looked at you incredulously. You tried to get him to sit back down and calm his nerves, “Sunghoon, sit down, please. It’s not what you’re thinking, at all.”

Ironically, it was what he was thinking, but the one time that you two were caught was the one time that it hadn’t been anything weird. He was wrong, but in the same breath, he was also right.

“No, damnit, Y/N,” he said, “I’m not going to sit!”

“Sunghoon,” you replied, now standing, “it’s not at all what you think it is.”

“Really?” He asked, aggravated, “Then fucking tell me what it was.”

You stepped closer to him, now also getting frustrated, “I’ll tell you exactly what it was if you would just listen.”

“Oh, I’m listening, alright.” He said, staring at you with a fiery gaze.

“Okay. Then just hear me out,” you replied, trying to calm yourself, “I went to Jake’s apartment to ask what had happened between you and him the other night. When I was getting sick, and-”

“You have got to be fucking kidding me, Y/N,” he groaned, looking at you with a snarl, “you could have just come and asked me what the fuck happened! You didn’t need to go to him!”

“I fucking tried that!” You yelled at him, “You wouldn’t tell me anything! Have you forgotten somehow?!”

“It doesn’t matter, Y/N,” he breathed out, still angry, “you shouldn’t have gone to him in the first place.”

“I wouldn’t have,” you started, “I wouldn’t have, if you would’ve just, I don’t know, been honest with me?!”

“Y/N,” he started, “I don’t think you understand what’s really happening here.”

“Stop. Stop right now. You think I’m stupid,” you commented, flailing your arms around, “you think that I don’t understand whatever the fuck is happening. I don’t want to play this game anymore, Sunghoon. The game where you know everything and I’m not allowed to know anything. And if I find out on my own, I ‘don’t even really understand’. At least, according to you.”

“That’s not what I’m saying-”

“No. Stop. Leave my apartment,” you looked him in the eyes, “I don’t want to do this,” you motioned between you two, what you were referencing pretty obvious to him, “anymore, if you’re going to play this stupid fucking game. I’m done.”

“Y/N, come on. Don’t be like this.”

“Leave. I don’t want to talk to you right now. We can talk once you’re ready to try and listen to me for once,” you ordered, pointing to the door, “leave, Sunghoon.”

You didn’t watch him exit your apartment. Once he was gone, though, you made sure to lock the door. You leaned against the door, pulling your phone out of your back pocket, and opening the messaging app.

This time you didn’t care if it was a bad idea.

you : me and sunghoon broke things off

Within seconds, Jake started typing a response, so you turned off your phone and ran a hand across your face. If Sunghoon was really worried about Jake, now, if anything, you had to spite him and rub it in his face. Jake was still attractive. Jake would take you back. You guess it was just bound to happen.

Three minutes later and no response despite the typing bubble still being there. You began to give up hope, until he follows you up with an answer:

do not answer : come over

You arrived at Jake’s apartment with record time. You didn’t care if Jay was there, or if he would show up at some point, because now that you and Sunghoon were on a break (or whatever it was) you had free reign to do as you pleased. Even see Jake.

When Jake opened the door, his eyes immediately lit up at your figure. You looked a bit like a mess, but he didn’t seem to care.

You couldn’t lie, the stress made you look disheveled, and you were wearing probably the trashiest outfit you owned. Jake didn’t seem to mind as he pulled you into his house.

He led you down the hallway, “Jay’s not here. I figured you wouldn’t care, though, because who is he going to tell now?”

You laughed at his words and followed him into his bedroom. His laptop was seated on his bed, open, because he’d been doing some work, assumably. He moved it further to the wall, then walking and shutting the bedroom door before sitting down. He beckoned for you to do the same.

You tucked a piece of hair behind your ear before sitting down next to him. You made yourself comfortable on his bed before speaking:

“Sorry about the sudden text.”

He furrowed his eyebrows at you, “Why would you be sorry? It’s not your fault that Sunghoon is an ass.”

You smiled at him, “You don’t even know what happened and you’re already taking my side.”

He leaned closer to you, “Ah, Sunghoon is always an ass. That has nothing to do with you or your situation.”

He gave you a look, then continued, “What even happened anyways?”

“Oh, yeah, right,” you said, adjusting your seated position to face him better, “uh, it’s so dumb. Sunghoon got mad that I came over the other day and accused me of cheating or some shit. He wouldn’t even listen.”

“See,” Jake exclaimed, “he is an ass!”

You giggled at his words, grateful that he was there to make you feel better. It took a lot for you to ignore how the situation was really making you feel, but having something to distract you mattered more right now.

“It’s so funny,” you replied, “the fact that the reason I was even here was because of him. I even told him that! He doesn’t ever want to listen to me.”

You groaned, dramatically throwing yourself backwards onto Jake’s mattress.

He copied as you did and commented, “He’s an ass. Like I said.”

“It’s whatever. It doesn’t even matter now, I don’t want to talk to him,” you covered your face in your hands, “just thinking about him is pissing me off.”

“I get it,” he said, now suddenly sitting up, “I know how you feel.”

You sat up too, “What really bothers me is that he and I aren’t even exclusive. So even if you and I did fuck, there shouldn’t be an issue.”

You rolled your eyes at the situation.

“I mean…” Jake trailed off, treading lightly with his next choice of words, “now that you’re not exclusive… or there are no ties… there isn’t an apparent issue.”

You looked at him with widened eyes and a slight smile, “You sneaky son-of-a-bitch. If I didn’t know any better, I’d think you were trying to have sex with me!”

Jake leaned over and moved his computer onto the ground. When he came up, his face was mere inches from yours.

He took a hand and brushed your hair away from your face. His touch sent chills through your body.

He licked his lips, “And if I didn’t know any better, I’d think that you agreed to come over here for a real reason.”

You smirked at him, leaning in to meet his lips in the middle. His hand flew to your waist and pulled you closer to him. His touch was needy, but in your moment of desperation, you’re sure yours was too. Jake deepened the kiss and pulled you onto his lap.

Maybe this was what was meant to happen. If Sunghoon really wanted to paint you as a villain for coming to Jake’s, maybe you should become the villain.

What’s wrong with a little fun, anyways?

viii. A SCAR LEFT IN ME

That night, you ended up staying at Jake’s place, no surprise. He always left you shocked with how much you missed having him in bed and as a friend. Sure, he wasn’t Sunghoon, but he’d have to do.

Two weeks and a some more hookups later, you’re sitting in Jake’s apartment kitchen. He was cooking something, and you were sat on the counter, watching him. In the time that you’d made yourself comfortable at Jake’s, you’d had more than a few run-ins with Jay. There was no doubt that he knew that you and Sunghoon had broken things off, but still seeing your presence obviously made him slightly upset. He refused to acknowledge you.

As if on cue, Jay walked into the apartment, not greeting either of you. He made a beeline for his room and slammed his door shut.

“What’s crawled up his ass?” You commented, kicking your feet.

“I don’t know, he’s always in a bad mood when you’re here.”

“Understandable,” you said, thinking about Ella suddenly, “it probably makes him mad that he knows you’re cheating on Ella with me.”

For the past weeks, Ella really hadn’t made an appearance in your mind. A part of you felt bad, but you didn’t really care. If she was all that special, Jake wouldn’t have cheated on her.

“No, that’s not it,” he replied, looking up from the stove, “we broke up. He didn’t even like her all that much anyways.”

This was news to you. Sure, now that you’d thought of it, you hadn’t heard any news of Ella recently anyways. But you’d just assumed it was because Jake didn’t want to talk about his girlfriend to the girl he was cheating on her with.

“You guys broke up?” You hopped down from the counter, facing him with your whole body, “since when?”

“Like, a week and a half ago,” he explained, returning his eyes to the food he was making.

You thought of all the possibilities that could follow you asking the next question, but decided to go ahead and ask it anyways:

“Why?”

“Y/N,” he started, “you know it’s because of you. Even beyond having sex, it’s only ever been you. Ever since we met at that party.”

You took a step away from him, slowly. There was no way this was happening, again. You felt stupid for letting this happen, but you didn’t want to lose Jake as a friend. If you couldn’t look past his feelings last time, you definitely couldn’t look past them this time.

“Jake,” you said, “you know that this isn’t going to work like that.”

Jake turned the stove off and faced you, “What do you mean?”

“Come on, Jake. I couldn’t be with Sunghoon because of you, and I can’t be with you because of him.”

“What are you saying?”

“I couldn’t be with him because of you. He didn’t like us together.”

“Yeah, but he’s out of the picture now,” he commented, stepping towards you.

“No, Jake, I-” you stopped yourself. Jake was right. Sunghoon was technically out of the picture now. So what was holding you back? No matter what you tried to think of, your mind always came back to Sunghoon. All of this nonsense made you think that maybe, some time, you had accidentally treaded too closely to the “more than friends” line with Sunghoon. This terrified you.

“It doesn’t matter,” you continued, “you were happy with Ella! Why would you mess that up for someone who you know it won’t end well with?! You’ve tried this before, and you didn’t succeed. Why would you now think that it would be anything different?”

He walked closer to you, almost cornering you to a wall. You swallowed deeply and braced yourself for whatever he would say next.

His words came out breathy, “I want you to ruin me, Y/N. Ruin my ideas about love, about what love is. Ruin me, so that even when I do get hurt like I inevitably will, and I go running back to Ella, all I can think about is you.”

You gulped, and he leaned in closer to you.

“You drive me into an absolutely uncontrollable desire. And, trust me, I have tried so hard to see her the way that I see you, feel the same desire. But, it’s only ever been you.”

He finally steps back from you, keeping his face straight, but you could see traces of desperation behind his gaze.

You cleared your throat, walking away from him and towards the living room where your keys and bag were.

As you walked down his hallway, he trailed behind you.

“Y/N…” he said softly as you grabbed the doorknob to leave.

“I need some time to think about this, Jake.”

Later that night, you found yourself still obsessing over Jake’s words. It was absolutely astonishing to you; how the man could be pushed away from you so many times but come crawling back for more. Even when he had a girlfriend. His feelings for you were probably genuine, and some parts of you wished that you could feel that back for the boy. He deserved someone to love him. You didn’t think that someone would be you.

You let your mind wander back to Sunghoon. At this point, you’d almost accepted defeat. You’d broken the one rule of being friends-with-benefits: catching feelings. And to make matters worse, you’d broken things off with the first man you’d had genuine feelings for in years. You were really good at messing things up for yourself.

Suddenly, your thoughts are interrupted by a call. The caller ID read “sunghoon ☺️💨”. Your heart jumped.

You don’t know what possessed you to answer so quickly, but you soon found yourself answering the phone and putting it to your ear.

“Hello?” You answered, attempting to sound as unimpressed as possible.

“Hey, Y/N,” he said, obviously at least a little stressed, “I thought about what you said, y’know, two or so weeks ago, and I’d like to talk to you. Can I come over?”

“Only if you’re coming over to apologize,” you snarled, “otherwise fuck off.”

You hated how upset you quickly became, but from the reminders of Sunghoon’s actions two weeks ago, and the mix of emotions you felt towards Jake since this morning, you allowed yourself to be consumed in frustration.

It only takes ten minutes for Sunghoon to reach your apartment. Once let in, he immediately embraces you, catching you off guard.

“Woah,” you said, your voice muffled by his figure.

“I’m sorry.”

His apology felt like the gates of a dam being opened, because it was as if in that second, you’d come to clarity. About everything.

“I-” you tried, but nothing came out of your mouth, “it’s okay.”

“I was mad, and I was stupid, and I- I should’ve listened to you,” he said, not letting go of your figure. You hugged him back, running a hand down his back, “It’s okay, Hoon, it’s okay.”

You pulled away from him, getting his attention, “Let’s go to my room, yeah? We can talk there.”

As you sat down on your bed with him, you let your guard down. He was really fucking upset, anyone could see that. Sunghoon grabbed your hand as he continued, “Y/N, I’m so sorry. I ruined something good, I know. I’m just asking for you to forgive me.”

You rubbed your thumb over his finger as you tried to lighten the atmosphere, “Why the sudden change of heart?”

Sunghoon chuckled a bit through the tears forming in the corners of his eyes. He knew you’d already forgiven him, your body language was obvious. He laid his head on your lap, facing downwards.

“I fucked up,” he said, his voice muffled.

“What did you fuck up, Hoon?”

“I broke the one rule.”

“Turn over, I can’t hear you,” you said as you ran your fingers through his hair.

He rolled, his eyes now looking at yours. You brushed some hair away from his face gently. You could still see the tears brimming in his eyes.

“I broke the one rule.”

“What rule?”

“Of being fuck-buddies, Y/N.”

Your heart dropped at the words.

“I-” he choked, taking one of his hands to grab your own, “I have feelings for you, Y/N. Like real, genuine ones. I can’t risk losing you again.”

In a moment, everything from the past months had all came crashing down onto you.

“Okay,” you said, “I feel the same way. But I think I need time.”

You loved Sunghoon.

ix. I’M NOT A MONSTER

You and Sunghoon stayed together for the rest of the night, enjoying the other’s presence as you basked in all that you could from the lack of the previous weeks.

When you woke up the next morning, you smelled breakfast being made. God, this man really was willing to do anything to get you back. Your heart swelled.

You walked to the kitchen, letting yourself smile at the occurrence. You really had missed Sunghoon a lot.

As you approached him, you tried to be a quick as possible, not wanting to waste any more time of being away from him. Damn him, you really did like him. How could you have been so blind to your feelings before?

Once you reached him, you whispered, “Hi.”

He turned to the right to look at you, letting a smile form on his face, “Good morning, beautiful.”

You flushed at his words, “It’s 9am and you’re already being a flirt.”

“Can’t help it,” he replied, turning back to the food, “do you want some eggs? They’re almost done.”

“I’m okay, thank you though,” you said, tilting your head at the man, “I think I’ll just have a bagel or something.”

He nodded and you turned to your small pantry to find the bagels. Sunghoon turned off the stove and plated the eggs, taking a bite.

Suddenly, the doorbell buzzed.

“I’ll get it,” Sunghoon said, placing down his plate onto the counter. You didn’t mind that he was answering the door, he’d done it before. You wanted to find where the bagels were anyways.

You heard the door open, followed by Sunghoon’s voice ringing out a name that pierced through the air:

“Jake.”

Your heart dropped. What the fuck was he doing here? You told him that you needed time. Does he ever listen? You slowly made your way to the door.

“Oh, hey…” Jake cleared his throat, “Sunghoon. What, uh, what are you doing here?”

Before anything could unfold, you made yourself seen by the two men.

“Y/N!” Jake exclaimed.

“Oh, hi, Jake,” you walked your way next to Sunghoon, “what’s up?”

“I just…” he trailed off, glancing between you and Sunghoon, “wanted to ask you something real quick.”

“Oh,” you said, “you can come in.”

You led Jake to the living room and Sunghoon closed the door, speedily following behind you two. You could tell that he wasn’t thrilled that Jake was here.

An awkward silence consumed the room. It seemed that whatever Jake had on his mind, he wanted to say it one-on-one. In order to get it over with as quickly as possible, you turned to Sunghoon and suggested, “Sunghoon, would you mind finding the bagels for me really quickly? Just for a minute so we can talk.”

He scowled at Jake before turning away to walk to the kitchen. You watched him make his way to the pantry, not missing how he turned back to look at you and Jake once more. You sent him an apologetic look.

Once out of earshot, you lowly said, “Jake, what are you doing here?”

“Uh, sorry,” he explained, “I wouldn’t have come if I knew he was gonna be here.”

You rolled your eyes, “Jake. What do you want?”

“There’s a new restaurant that just opened downtown,” he started, tilting his head at you, “I wanted to see if you would go with me.”

You sighed, “The offer is really sweet, but I told you that I needed time, Jake.”

“I can’t do that,” he huffed, laughing in pain, “you know that. I can’t stay away from you. You drive me crazy.”

“Jake…” you trailed off, looking back at the kitchen. Sunghoon was holding a bag of bagels, staring daggers into Jake.

“You should leave,” you commented, turning back to him, “you can just come over to talk later. When Sunghoon’s not here.”

“Okay,” he said, peeking at Sunghoon, “okay. I’ll let you know when I’m headed over.”

“Okay,” you nodded at him, leading him to the door, “bye, Jake.”

You shut the door and returned back to the kitchen. Sunghoon was putting your bagel into the toaster, so you went to the fridge to grab out some cream cheese.

Sunghoon was the first to break the silence.

“I don’t like when you two are together.”

You faced him, cream cheese in hand. You set the item down on the counter and stalked your way over to him, touching his arm.

“I don’t feel anything for him, Hoon.”

He furrowed his eyebrows at you, hinting at disbelief.

“Not anymore.”

He nods, turning to face you. He clears his throat, “I understand that, Y/N, but he obviously feels differently for you.”

“I realize that,” you commented, looking away.

“I really want to be with you, Y/N. And, I know that you need time, and I’ll give you all the time that I can for you.”

You nodded, looking back at him.

“But,” he started, getting more serious, “I don’t want him to be a part of your life anymore. He doesn’t know how to control himself.”

“I know,” you admitted, pursing your lips, “but I don’t know how to let him down easy.”

Sunghoon was right. Of course he was. But you were being genuine; if Jake wasn’t going to let up weeks ago, he wouldn’t let up now. Especially because he thought he was so close to having you.

The toaster popped, and you walked over, letting your hand drop from Sunghoon’s arm.

“I’ll do what I can.”

x. IS IT FATE THAT EVEN OUR DEPARTS REPEAT?

You were agonizing over Jake coming over. It was the worst idea ever, but this time you would put an end to everything. The thought of that only soothed your nerves slightly.

When Jake arrived at your apartment, you let out a breath that you didn’t realize you’d been holding in.

“Hey,” you breathed out, opening the door for him.

“Hi,” he said, walking into your home, “everything okay?”

You two walked your way to the living room where there were some drinks laid out for you two. You’d laid out wine again, but this time as a nerve soother rather than something to cause an escalation of actions.

“Yeah, I think.” You said, sitting down on a chair. Jake sat on the couch, the seat closest to you.”

“You think?” Jake questioned, smirking at you.

“Yeah, I don’t know,” you admitted honestly. You took a breath in, “I’m just stressed out, I guess.”

You grabbed your glass of wine from the table and took a drink, watching Jake do the same.

“So,” he started, placing his wine glass down, “what’s up with Sunghoon being here this morning?”

“Oh,” you said, shocked at his bluntness of the topic. He’d just got there and was already getting down to business. You ran a hand through your hair, “I don’t know, we kind of made up. It’s a touchy topic right now.”

“I see,” he commented, taking another drink of his glass of wine, “I’m not sure if I should be happy for you or upset for myself.”

You cleared your throat, “Jake, it really has nothing to do with you.” You took another drink of wine before looking back at him.

“Really, because as I recall, you guys broke it off because of me,” he raised his eyebrows at you.

“Yeah, we did,” you looked at him with confusion, “but us getting back together has nothing to do with you.”

“So what you’re saying is,” he got up and walked towards you, “Sunghoon is afraid of what I can do.”

You also stood up, challenging him, “I wouldn’t say afraid,” you cocked an eyebrow at him, “more so he’s not dumb.”

“Oh, but he’s so dumb,” Jake titled his head at you, a flirty pout appearing on his lips, “because if he wasn’t, he wouldn’t have left your apartment today. Now, I get you all to myself.”

God damn this man.

In a rush of lust, he pushed his lips on yours, grabbing your waist. You melted into the kiss, wrapping your arms around his broad shoulders. It was absolutely intoxicating.

Jake broke the kiss and held your face close to his, “He can’t make you feel special like I do, baby.”

He returned to your lips, tilting his head to deepen the kiss. He tucked a piece of hair behind your ear, slightly tugging it unintentionally.

Just like Sunghoon does.

You separated yourself from Jake almost instantly, removing your arms and backing away. His hands were still on your waist, but you grabbed his wrists, “Jake.”

“What’s wrong, baby?”

“Jake, don’t call me that,” you sighed, “we can’t do this anymore. Seriously.”

He loosened his grip on your waist, and you let go of his wrists. He scoffed, “What? Is it because you’re back with Sunghoon now? You guys aren’t even dating. I thought your bond was no-strings-attached.”

“It was,” you said, “it was. But- but now, I have feelings for Sunghoon. Like real, genuine feelings.”

Jake flared his nostrils. It was subtle, but you still noticed.

“I want to be with him.”

Jake turned his head to the side. A blanket of silence was thrown over the room. The tension was extremely thick, it could be cut with a knife.

A minute later, you heard a voice whisper out, “Am I not good enough for you?”

“What?”

“Y/N, you know I’d do anything for you,” he turned back to you, now louder and more frustrated, tears brimming in his eyes. His face was flushed, “but you never give me a fucking chance to prove it.”

“Jake,” you tried deescalating the situation, “I’ve never felt anything for past lust. You know this. This is the same story as when you tried this months ago, and when you tried this yesterday.”

He said nothing.

You continued, “I can’t keep giving you false hope. You deserve someone who can actually love you. That someone is not me.”

He gulped, once again staying silent. The tears in his eyes became more prevalent. The silence lingered for many minutes too long, the atmosphere becoming more and more suffocating at the second.

“I would do anything for you,” he croaked out, “I don’t think that will ever change.”

His anger had dissipated for now, and he was fighting back a frown.

“I can’t-” his voice cracked, “I can’t stand knowing that you’re not mine, or worse, the fact that you’re with Sunghoon. Every single fucking time I see you with him, I feel like I’m being punched in the gut.”

“I’m sorry,” you swallowed, still processing his words. You knew Jake felt strongly about you, but you had no idea it was this strong. You let yourself be quiet for a second before finding any words to reply with, “I really don’t know what to say.”

He laughed a painful laugh, “…but being punched in the gut never killed anybody.”

He wiped at his eyes, furrowing his eyebrows once more, “I wish that I could spit in your face and tell you that I wish we never met.”

You felt yourself hurt at his words.

“But I know that would be a lie.”

Another silence fell.

“It’ll always be you, Y/N.”

You shook your head slightly, feeling tears brim at your own eyes. You were devastated that you were going through this a second time, but somehow this time, it hurt way more than the first.

“Jake…” you sent a sad look to him.

“My door is always open. For you.”

You felt yourself gulp at his words, finding any strength possible to push away any feelings you had at the moment.

“You should probably leave…”

“Okay,” he accepted, whispering. He walked to your apartment door and you followed him.

“Stay safe, Jake.”

He left. You shut the door, locked it, and immediately leaned your back to it and slid down. Deep down, you knew you’d always have a spot in you that cared for Jake. You had grown fond of him in a platonic way.

But that was the problem. He couldn’t just shut out his feelings for you.

Drowning out your guilt was impossible as felt a large weight make its way onto your chest.

xi. IN THE END, THE ANSWER IS ALWAYS ONLY YOU

It’s been four months since that day.

You’d seen Jake around, a couple times at campus and very rarely at group hang outs.

He always sent you an awkward smile, and you knew deep down that seeing you had killed him many times. Anyone could tell that he never looked at his new girlfriend the same way he looked at you.

The atmosphere around each other was always tense, but because you’d promised Sunghoon, Jake wasn’t really a part of your life anymore.

Sunghoon and Jake’s bond had definitely changed. They didn’t seem like friends anymore, if anything it was a more formal relationship. They acknowledged each other’s presence, but even with the new girlfriend, Sunghoon hadn’t let down his guard with Jake.

In a sense, you missed Ella. She deserved a lot better, and you always agonized over how her absence was your fault. Obviously, Jake had a play in it, but you left all the blame for yourself.

In the past months, you’d felt yourself have a shift in behavior. It was odd, having realized that you’d become more open and caring about the relationships in your life. Ningning had told you that “not having the nonchalant front anymore” looked good on you.

You’d let yourself get a lot closer to her. She was now your best friend, always helping you through your mental struggles and rooting for you. She made sure to be there for you all the time, and she was ecstatic about you and Sunghoon making up.

Sunghoon had asked you to be his girlfriend about three months ago, and you had never been happier to had let your guard down to the man. He made you feel special, and you never once regretted your decision of choosing to keep him by your side rather than Jake.

Jake had stayed the same majorly. At least from what you could tell. His new girlfriend was nice enough to you, but you didn’t really think that he was happy with her. It seemed that he was just trying to fill the void that you’d left in him.

And the most ironic part:

His girlfriend looked strikingly similar to you. She was beautiful, of course, but her personality and appearance had almost mirrored yours completely. Her personality was more similar to the one that you’d had before, the nonchalant, doesn’t-care-about-anyone, slight asshole. Contrary to you, however, she never left his side.

Even with her around, you knew the truth.

Jake’s words still forever rung in your mind:

“It’ll always be you.”

a/n : rrrrrrraaaaahhh it’s done

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kpophubb · 1 year

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♥︎ วαкє'ѕ вσуƒяιєηԃ нαвιтѕ ♡

❥ Hot and cute things sim jaeyun does as your bf !

♥︎🄶🄴🄽🅁🄴: 𝖿𝗅𝗎𝖿𝖿, 𝗁𝖼 ᰔ !w: mentions of making out! // 𝗠𝗮𝘀𝘁𝗲𝗿𝗹𝗶𝘀𝘁

"𝘤𝘢𝘶𝘴𝘦 𝘪 𝘴𝘦𝘦 𝘧𝘰𝘳𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘳 𝘪𝘯 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘦𝘺𝘦𝘴, 𝘪 𝘧𝘦𝘦𝘭 𝘰𝘬𝘢𝘺 𝘸𝘩𝘦𝘯 𝘐 𝘴𝘦𝘦 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘴𝘮𝘪𝘭𝘦. 𝘞𝘪𝘴𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘰𝘯 𝘥𝘢𝘯𝘥𝘦𝘭𝘪𝘰𝘯𝘴 𝘢𝘭𝘭 𝘰𝘧 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘵𝘪𝘮𝘦, 𝘱𝘳𝘢𝘺𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘵𝘰 𝘨𝘰𝘥 𝘰𝘯𝘦 𝘥𝘢𝘺 𝘺𝘰𝘶'𝘭𝘭 𝘣𝘦 𝘮𝘪𝘯𝘦.” ♡

✼••┈┈┈┈••✼♡✼••┈┈┈┈••✼♥︎✼••┈┈┈┈••✼

☆ 𝗔𝗧𝗧𝗔𝗖𝗞𝗜𝗡𝗚 𝗬𝗢𝗨 𝗪𝗜𝗧𝗛 𝗥𝗔𝗡𝗗𝗢𝗠 𝗧𝗥𝗔𝗜𝗡 𝗢𝗙 𝗞𝗜𝗦𝗦𝗘𝗦- you’re not dating sim jaeyun if he’s not attacking you with kisses every now and then. He LOVES kissing you sm, his primary form of showing his affection for you and he loves to kiss even places like your eyelids, knuckles, earlobes, nose and collarbones. Everything about you is so beautiful to him and he can’t keep his lips away from you. His signature kisses are always on your lips, where he can drown in your taste and feel the softness of your mouth in between his. Jakey is gonna whine so much when you don’t give him loads of kisses, and he’s on cloud 9 the moment you’re the one initiating them. 💋

☆ 𝗕𝗘𝗜𝗡𝗚 𝗬𝗢𝗨𝗥 𝗣𝗘𝗥𝗦𝗢𝗡𝗔𝗟 𝗛𝗬𝗣𝗘 𝗠𝗔𝗡- there is no word as feeling insecure when Jake is your boyfriend. He lives for complimenting you and will always be sure to tell you how you look great in your new dress or new hairstyle. Even when you’re bare faced, he’s gonna utter so many praises and make you feel like the prettiest thing alive. “Baby you look so good ugh” “why are you this pretty?!” He will squeal like your fanboy and be all dramatic, putting his palm over his heart and pretending like he’s being shot by your light lol. He loves bragging about you infront of your friends, and his too and addresses you as ‘my girl’ in public with a proud and lovely smile. 🥺 whenever you guys go out in public, he holds your hands and gives you those lovesick eyes and the entire crowd can see how smitten he is for you and you alone. <3

☆ 𝗧𝗘𝗟𝗟𝗜𝗡𝗚 𝗬𝗢𝗨 𝗟𝗜𝗧𝗧𝗟𝗘 𝗗𝗘𝗧𝗔𝗜𝗟𝗦 𝗔𝗕𝗢𝗨𝗧 𝗛𝗜𝗦 𝗗𝗔𝗬- jake is very chatty with you. He loves sharing random details about his day to you, placing his head on your lap as you ruffle his hair and he tells you what he’s done. You’re his comfort person, his human diary, his reliable partner and he feels so safe with you that he doesn’t hesitate to tell you anything and everything. His facial expressions are so adorable and the way he looks at you with shining, puppy eyes and kisses the back of your hands is a sight you can get tired of never. He’s also someone who loves listening to you attentively, and encourages you to talk to him as much as he does so you two can grow closer and more comfortable with eachother with time.

☆ 𝗧𝗔𝗞𝗜𝗡𝗚 𝗬𝗢𝗨𝗥 𝗣𝗛𝗢𝗧𝗢𝗦- he’s an amazing photographer and loves taking your photos!! >.< man knows all your angles and poses, and even asks you to pose and smile according. He’s yelling cheers behind the screen and is the first one to propose the idea of taking your photos. He’s the most amazing personal photographer, who will never fail to take aesthetic photos of you. But mind you, there are obviously gonna be photos of you sleeping, you studying, you with your face mask on, you pouting and sulking because ofc to him, those are the times you look “exceptionally beautiful.” ;) <3

☆ 𝗛𝗔𝗩𝗜𝗡𝗚 𝗔 𝗙𝗢𝗟𝗗𝗘𝗥 𝗢𝗙 𝗬𝗢𝗨𝗥 𝗣𝗜𝗖𝗦 𝗢𝗡 𝗛𝗜𝗦 𝗣𝗛𝗢𝗡𝗘- jake is gonna have a separate MASSIVE folder of your pics on his phone. He’s gonna name the folder something very romantic like “my baby girl 💘😚” and have too many of your pictures that he’s gonna randomly see throughout the day when he misses you to cheer himself up. He’s gonna have 2-3 copies of the same picture and argue with you if you say it’s the same so he should delete some (the difference isn’t even noticeable but to him they are 🙄). Don’t ever stop him from taking your pics tho, cause or else be ready to face a whiny puppy jakey who’s gonna pout all day and will be ready to fight you!! >.< (yeah yeah his ‘fight’ means tackling you in bed and tickling the shit out of you with his kisses hehe)

☆ 𝗕𝗨𝗬𝗜𝗡𝗚 𝗬𝗢𝗨 𝗙𝗟𝗢𝗪𝗘𝗥𝗦- this goes without saying that Jake is the romantic gentleman who always buys you flowers even before you ask. You open the doorstep and you see your handsome man standing with a bouquet of flowers with a bright smile on his face. Even when you wake up sometimes, you will find flowers on your table with notes attached like “I love you baby.” Or “you’re the best thing that ever happened to me.” left from him. He also researches about the meaning of flowers and buys you white roses on your bad days- that represent innocence, loyalty and purity, pink roses on your happy days that represent his gratitude and appreciation for you and red roses on your romantic days to deliver his unwavering love, passion and longing for you. ❤️🌹

☆ 𝗦𝗘𝗧𝗧𝗜𝗡𝗚 𝗬𝗢𝗨 𝗔𝗦 𝗛𝗜𝗦 𝗟𝗢𝗖𝗞𝗦𝗖𝗥𝗘𝗘𝗡- sim jaeyun and him being your #1 simp. 🤭 he loves you very much and he thinks he’s so lucky to have you that he’s gonna set a cute picture of you and him as his lockscreen. So everytime he opens his phone, no matter what he’s doing, he can be reminded of you and feel like he’s with you. He’s also very proud to have you and extremely loyal, so he likes it when people around him can see who he belongs to the moment they look at his phone. <3 Although initially, he’s gonna be really shy and blush crazily when his members tease him about his lovey dovey nature, when he grows used to it, he won’t be able to stop talking about you to his friends.

☆ 𝗣𝗜𝗚𝗚𝗬 𝗕𝗔𝗖𝗞 𝗥𝗜𝗗𝗘𝗦- when Jake calls you his princess, he really does mean it and gives you the true treatment like a princess. 💖👑 that obviously includes carrying your bag for you, feeding you, dressing you up and most of all- giving you piggy back rides. You don’t even have to be tired for it, your lover boy will willingly carry you on his back with your legs wrapped around his waist. He’s gonna smile so much and tell jokes to make you laugh, ans start humming love songs out of pure joy from the ecstatic and blissful moment shared with you. <3 he carries you and carries your heart in the same way- delicately, passionately, and with a lot of care and love.

☆ 𝗣𝗥𝗘𝗦𝗦𝗜𝗡𝗚 𝗬𝗢𝗨𝗥 𝗙𝗢𝗥𝗘𝗛𝗘𝗔𝗗𝗦 𝗧𝗢𝗚𝗘𝗧𝗛𝗘𝗥- jake and the pure romance agenda continues. :’) <3 he loves feeling you, and he’s so up for every side of romance with you especially the pure, silent and sensual ones. Like linking your pinkies, brushing your cheeks together, looking into your eyes, intertwining hands and especially pressing your foreheads together. Too often, he just cups your cheeks, looking into your eyes adoringly before bringing your face close to his. Pressing his forehead to yours, he closes his eyes- the proximity making you do the same in turn. He just feels you for the moment like that, letting your warmth seep inside his body in silence. He does whisper a few I love yous and uses his fingers to stroke the sides of your face and jaw dotingly while doing so.

☆ 𝗚𝗢𝗢𝗗𝗡𝗜𝗚𝗛𝗧/ 𝗚𝗢𝗢𝗗𝗕𝗬𝗘 𝗞𝗜𝗦𝗦𝗘𝗦- this is a ritual, a rule, an UNBREAKABLE law in the household istg.🙄 if you don’t give him his cherished good bye kisses, YOU CAN’T EVEN SHOVE HIM OUT THE DOOR even if you try..sigh. He will whine like a toddler and shamelessly beg for a kiss and before going to bed, he might even roll on the bedsheets like a nagging baby, who knows? 🤦🏻‍♀️ So you better give him his good morning, goodnight and goodbye kisses on time. 😚 but uhm, I’m warning you, this boy will come up with more- like “good evening kisses” “good afternoon kisses” and everything in between just to steal some more love from your sweet honey dripping lips. 💋

☆ 𝗣𝗘𝗧 𝗡𝗔𝗠𝗘𝗦- jake and pet names go hand in hand. He’s extremely fond of calling you by cute nicknames. As much as he loves to adress you by your name, he also loves calling you “baby girl.” “Angel” “darling” “sweetheart” cheesily. What he uses the most is “my love.” and he is gonna include it after every sentence. But, that one nickname that makes you blush the most and make you kick your feet in the air is when sim jake calls you “my princess” flirtily in his attractive asf aussie accent. ;) 😳

☆ 𝗗𝗔𝗬 𝗗𝗥𝗘𝗔𝗠𝗜𝗡𝗚 𝗔𝗕𝗢𝗨𝗧 𝗧𝗛𝗘 𝗙𝗨𝗧𝗨𝗥𝗘- jake is a keeper, and when he’s in love with you? He’s in love with you for a lifetime. So it goes without saying that he will dream about sharing a house with you one day, marrying you, making you his wife and having you as the mother of his children someday in the future. This man will giggle so much and blush with red cheeks imagining about his dreamy future with you, and oh god he’s even gonna come tell you how serious he’s about your relationship. When you will be cooking one day, he will be overwhelmed by the idea of you cooking for him daily as his ‘wife’ which is why he will dash to you with a bright smile and hug you from the back. Draping his arms around your stomach and resting his chin on your shoulder, he will give you a quick kiss on the neck before confessing excitingly but genuinely. “Baby?” “I can’t wait to marry you, I swear.” :’) <3

☆ 𝗧𝗔𝗟𝗞𝗜𝗡𝗚 𝗔𝗕𝗢𝗨𝗧 𝗬𝗢𝗨 𝗧𝗢 𝗟𝗔𝗬𝗟𝗔 𝗔𝗡𝗗 𝗛𝗜𝗦 𝗙𝗥𝗜𝗘𝗡𝗗𝗦- he’s gonna talk about you nonstop all day, cause after all he CAN’T help it when you dominate his mind ALL DAY. :(( <33 you’re his 24/7 constant and he’s gonna talk about you to his members and layla with such fan eyes and permanent happy smile. He’s so proud to have you and won’t just shut up telling them how much you make him happy, even if he has repeated the same thing twice or thrice by now. Poor baby Layla doesn’t understand a thing but still looks at Jake with a nod to not break his excited heart (lol) and when he’s simping over you to sunghoon, expect him to frustratingly drag jake by the collar and leave him at your doorstep for you to take care of. XD 🥺

☆ 𝗕𝗟𝗢𝗪𝗜𝗡𝗚 𝗬𝗢𝗨 𝗙𝗟𝗬𝗜𝗡𝗚 𝗞𝗜𝗦𝗦𝗘𝗦 𝗙𝗥𝗢𝗠 𝗔𝗖𝗥𝗢𝗦𝗦 𝗧𝗛𝗘 𝗥𝗢𝗢𝗠- jake can’t stay even 2 seconds away from you without blowing you flying kisses or showing you affection in some type of way. It’s impossible to tear his eyes off of you. He’s gonna blow kisses in the middle of his choreo as you watch their dance practice and when he’s waving you goodbye he’s gonna keep his eyes fixed on you and pout in your direction constantly (that causes him to bump straight into the hallway wall but anyways.) He’s the type of boyfriend who keeps opening the elevator door again and again when you walk him out, just bc it sucks for him to say you goodbye and he’s gonna try to hug and kiss you goodbye each time. </3 😩🥰

☆ 𝗦𝗔𝗬𝗜𝗡𝗚 𝗬𝗢𝗨 𝗜 𝗟𝗢𝗩𝗘 𝗬𝗢𝗨 𝗧𝗛𝗥𝗢𝗨𝗚𝗛𝗢𝗨𝗧 𝗧𝗛𝗘 𝗗𝗔𝗬- it’s important for him to always remind you how much he loves you. He always tries to give you these reminders so you keep feeling special and don’t yourself even for a single second. That’s how thoughtful and caring he is. Thus, no matter how busy he is, he will always sneak little ily texts and voice mails for you to read throughout the day. 🥺

☆ 𝗠𝗘𝗦𝗦𝗬 𝗞𝗜𝗦𝗦𝗘𝗦- jake being whiny, desperate and impatient for your kisses and messily kissing all over your mouth is so him. 👀😳 Latching his mouth inside yours sloppily and kissing you hastily all over, just to drench in the intoxicating wet feel of your mouth on his. He loves kissing you nonstop, dragging down his wet mouth to your neck and collarbones, and loves to use his tongue on your sensitive flesh to make you shiver. He doesn’t even wait to shut the door behind you, as soon as you see him, the first thing you feel is his lips on yours, that addicting mouth of his undressing every part of your body, one by one.

☆ 𝗟𝗔𝗧𝗘 𝗡𝗜𝗚𝗛𝗧 𝗖𝗢𝗡𝗩𝗘𝗥𝗦𝗔𝗧𝗜𝗢𝗡𝗦 & 𝗛𝗘𝗔𝗥𝗧𝗙𝗘𝗟𝗧 𝗖𝗢𝗡𝗙𝗘𝗦𝗦𝗜𝗢𝗡𝗦- midnight is the time for honesty and deep feelings. And that is exactly why jake loves staying up late just to talk to you. He finds you so fascinating and admires you so much more when he hears you talk about your most vulnerable and unfiltered thoughts. He himself likes talking about his emotions to you and it’s especially during these hours that he has deep and honest emotional conversations with you. He tells you how by being in his life, you saved his heart and gave him a new light to live with, how you were his angel who taught him all about love and how grateful he is for all the sacrifices you’ve made to be with him. :’) these are the times he makes promises to you- promises of holding your heart forever, caring for you, loving you more when you’re sad than happy and looking after you for the rest of his life with utmost sincerity.

☆ 𝗔𝗦𝗞𝗜𝗡𝗚 𝗬𝗢𝗨 𝗜𝗙 𝗬𝗢𝗨 𝗛𝗔𝗩𝗘 𝗧𝗔𝗞𝗘𝗡 𝗬𝗢𝗨𝗥 𝗠𝗘𝗔𝗟𝗦- Jake’s top priority is making sure you’re healthy and happy. Thus, he will always text you during meal times to ask you if you’ve eaten. AINT NO WAY YOU CAN EVER SKIP YOUR MEALS WHEN YOU ARE DATING SIM JAEYUN!!! 😡 cause If you do, he will pace at your doorstep in his thirty minute break, JUST TO BRING YOU FOOD and make you pinky promise him that you’re gonna finish it while he’s gone. 😭💞

☆ 𝗛𝗔𝗡𝗗 𝗪𝗥𝗜𝗧𝗧𝗘𝗡 𝗟𝗢𝗩𝗘 𝗟𝗘𝗧𝗧𝗘𝗥𝗦- since he is someone who is bad with words irl, [especially with you bc 1) he is always struck too bad by your beauty and 2) bc of his overbearing love for you] he is gonna write hand written letters for you every chance he gets. He’s gonna draw cute emojis and *attempt* to draw you two holding hands which almost looks like it’s drawn by a kindergarten student and write down his feelings for you. Perhaps about a memory with you he couldn’t forget about, his thankfulness for your support or just how much his feelings for you have strengthened over time. Jake is gonna place these letters scattered throughout the house for you to find accidentally, e.g one tucked under your pillow, one under your bed side lamp and so on. He never fails to make you feel appreciated the way you deserve. <3

☆ 𝗚𝗜𝗚𝗚𝗟𝗜𝗡𝗚 𝗜𝗡 𝗕𝗘𝗧𝗪𝗘𝗘𝗡 𝗞𝗜𝗦𝗦𝗘𝗦- this is 200% jake. His squeaky giggles are REMEDY. He’s completely the type of person to giggle and chuckle in between kissing you and then go back to kissing you only to end up giggling again. >.< he can be so playful and excited when kissing you sometimes, and both of you end up laughing and ending up on top of eachother from pure playful delight.

☆ 𝗖𝗨𝗗𝗗𝗟𝗜𝗡𝗚 𝗔𝗟𝗟 𝗧𝗛𝗘 𝗧𝗜𝗠𝗘- jake loves cuddling with you, embracing you, feeling you close to him all the FREAKING TIME. 😤 he has to snuggle you no matter where he is, putting his legs all over you, and resting his head in the crook of your neck. He can’t fall asleep without having you in his arms and will urge you to stay like that all night. You belong to him, which means you need to be with him too!! (Rule made by him, don’t ask me 🤨)

☆ 𝗖𝗟𝗜𝗡𝗚𝗜𝗡𝗚 𝗧𝗢 𝗬𝗢𝗨 𝗟𝗜𝗞𝗘 𝗬𝗢𝗨𝗥 𝗕𝗔𝗕𝗬- as much as jake loves to baby you, he loves to be babied by only you sm. 🥺👉🏻👈🏻 he melts like ice cream when you ruffle his hair, kiss him on the forehead, rest his head on your lap and call him your baby. All his stress gets relieved in 1s when you do that and he turns into a giggling blushy poodle immediately. ☺️

☆ 𝗧𝗜𝗚𝗛𝗧 𝗛𝗨𝗚𝗦 & 𝗣𝗗𝗔- In Jake’s dictionary, there’s only one definition of hugging which is aka “gotta squish the air out of her bc I find her the cutest and I can’t contain my overwhelming love for her >.< <33”. Hence, this is the only way he needs to hug you. Holding you SUPER tightly in between his arms and swaying your body from side to the side, to the point where your feet is lifted off the ground and he’s carrying you in the air. Out in public, he loves holding your hands and especially holding your waist and tho he’s not someone who kisses you in front of others, he is totally someone who looks at you with his love struck vision all the time. <3

☆ 𝗕𝗘𝗜𝗡𝗚 𝗬𝗢𝗨𝗥 𝗣𝗔𝗥𝗧𝗡𝗘𝗥 𝗜𝗡 𝗖𝗥𝗜𝗠𝗘 𝗔𝗡𝗗 𝗕𝗙𝗙- jake has a free and adventurous spirit and he’s down to trying so many new things with you. Especially moments with you where y’all can behave like goofy little dorks in love. Like trying out new restaurants around the city, trips to unknown destinations, outdoor camping, prank calling your friends and having loads of inner jokes that make you laugh like crazy best friends and partners in crime.

☆ 𝗠𝗘𝗠𝗢𝗥𝗜𝗭𝗜𝗡𝗚 𝗘𝗩𝗘𝗥𝗬𝗧𝗛𝗜𝗡𝗚 𝗬𝗢𝗨 𝗟𝗜𝗞𝗘/ 𝗗𝗜𝗦𝗟𝗜𝗞𝗘- he’s the most observant and attentive person in the whole world and with you? It’s a whole different story. I feel he even knows the trivial details of you that most people miss- like which way you like parting your hair, what snacks you always get during the weekends, how many times YOU YAWN DURING THE DAY AND WHAT NOT. 🫠 you don’t even have to repeat anything twice, he notices everything on his own and always makes sure to do things you like and protect you from your dislikes. <3 ಥ_ಥ

☆ 𝗦𝗘𝗡𝗗𝗜𝗡𝗚 𝗬𝗢𝗨 𝗦𝗢𝗡𝗚 𝗟𝗬𝗥𝗜𝗖𝗦- if you’re Jake’s girl be prepared to see him sending you song lyrics randomly. Especially jb’s songs. “Picture perfect, you don't need no filter. Gorgeous, make 'em drop dead, you're a killer. Shower you with all my attention.Yeah, these are my only intentions” he is gonna text you with a snap of himself. Plus, the cutest thing is when he hums these songs as you guys spend your time together. He will dance with you, sing for you and plant a lot of kisses to the side of your head while doing so. <3

☆ 𝗪𝗔𝗡𝗧𝗜𝗡𝗚 𝗧𝗢 𝗦𝗘𝗘 𝗬𝗢𝗨 𝗜𝗡 𝗗𝗜𝗙𝗙𝗘𝗥𝗘𝗡𝗧 𝗢𝗨𝗧𝗙𝗜𝗧𝗦- since jake is a very fashionable person who likes to try new CLOTHES SO MUCH, he’s gonna have so many shopping dates w you and will urge you to try different style of clothes with him. 🤩 will hype you up so much when you do, and it will be like your own personal fashion show w your #1 lover boy. 🥺😍

☆ 𝗔𝗧𝗧𝗘𝗠𝗣𝗧𝗦 𝗧𝗢 𝗗𝗥𝗘𝗦𝗦 𝗬𝗢𝗨 𝗨𝗣- he’s a very loving person and also a curious person, so it’s no doubt that he will attempt to do your makeup and hair and dress you up. Will fail so miserably the first times around tho (bc he’s so clumsy he’s gonna tangle your hair in the curler and drop your makeup🙄) but then, he’s gonna be really good at it. He’s gonna take pride in his makeovers and will boast about it sm himself. Will take so many shots of you and make you look in the mirror 100 times, just so you shower him with compliments each time. <3 :p

☆ 𝗠𝗔𝗧𝗖𝗛𝗜𝗡𝗚 𝗥𝗜𝗡𝗚𝗦- couple rings are a must!! He’s gonna get you two matching rings and put in on your pinkies. “Pinky finger now, ring finger for our wedding baby🥰” He’s gonna dramatically explain and always link your two pinky fingers and show it off to all your friends.

☆ 𝗖𝗛𝗘𝗘𝗦𝗬 𝗣𝗜𝗖𝗞 𝗨𝗣 𝗟𝗜𝗡𝗘𝗦- this is so Jake?? He’s such a cliche and cheesy romantic person istg. “Do you have a map? Because I just got lost in your eyes.” “Want to go outside for some fresh air? You took my breath away”. “Are you a time traveler? Because I see you in my future”. “Did the sun come out, or did you just smile at me?” The saga just continues. When you smile and blush the first few times around, he’s gonna be so amused and from there on, he’s gonna come up with new ones everyday just to make you laugh and blush, which is his favourite sight ever. 🥺💞

☆ 𝗡𝗘𝗖𝗞 𝗞𝗜𝗦𝗦𝗘𝗦- he is addicted to kissing your neck and it’s not in an innocent way ahem.😳 he will come hug you from behind and plant his lips on your neck, tracing your most sensitive spots with his nose and stroking them with his lips to tempt you. Then, he begins to kiss your neck and collarbones with his wet lips, soon using his tongue to glide it up and down your length to make you shiver and whimper out his unholy name.

☆ 𝗠𝗔𝗞𝗘 𝗢𝗨𝗧- making out sessions happen so damn frequently. 👅 pecks turn into kissing, and kissing ends with his tongue inside your mouth, swirling around yours and his hands tightly gripping your hips. He loves touching you, everywhere, his hands exploring beneath the material of your clothes and tracing your bare skin on sinful places. He loves to hold you down with his strength, sometimes pushing you to the nearest wall for support and most times, impatiently carrying you to the bed only to get on top of you. He loves kissing your mouth deep and with endless passion, his desperate actions causing you to moan right inside his mouth.

☆ 𝗞𝗜𝗦𝗦𝗜𝗡𝗚 𝗬𝗢𝗨𝗥 𝗖𝗟𝗘𝗔𝗩𝗔𝗚𝗘 & 𝗥𝗘𝗦𝗧𝗜𝗡𝗚 𝗛𝗜𝗦 𝗛𝗘𝗔𝗗 𝗜𝗡 𝗕𝗘𝗧𝗪𝗘𝗘𝗡 𝗬𝗢𝗨𝗥 𝗖𝗛𝗘𝗦𝗧- your chest is his favourite soft cushion <3 he loves rubbing his face and giggling in your chest and uses his nose to tickle you >~< but then, soon he begins kissing your cleavage with his lips and drags it down, lower and lower, to the sweetest spot he could ever find.

☆ 𝗛𝗢𝗟𝗗𝗜𝗡𝗚 𝗬𝗢𝗨𝗥 𝗛𝗜𝗣𝗦- jake loves your hips so much and he loves cupping the sides of your hips with his palms :(( he finds you so sexy and can’t keep his hands off that place. He loves to pull you by the hips and press your bodies together, feeling your soft flesh rubbing against his own.

☆ 𝗪𝗔𝗦𝗛𝗜𝗡𝗚 𝗬𝗢𝗨𝗥 𝗛𝗔𝗜𝗥 𝗙𝗢𝗥 𝗬𝗢𝗨 𝗜𝗡 𝗧𝗛𝗘 𝗦𝗛𝗢𝗪𝗘𝗥- jake and the princess treatment agenda. 🥹 whenever you’re tired, he’s gonna wash your hair in the shower for you and give you massages. From scalp massages to your shoulder and back, and don’t ask me why by the end of the shower, he has joined you and you guys are kissing so cozily and romantically in the bath tub. 🫣

☆ 𝗧𝗔𝗞𝗜𝗡𝗚 𝗬𝗢𝗨 𝗧𝗢 𝗗𝗢𝗚 𝗣𝗔𝗥𝗞𝗦 𝗪𝗜𝗧𝗛 𝗟𝗔𝗬𝗟𝗔- must just must!!!!! Jake thinks he loves you the most already, but believe me when he sees you with LAYLA? When you play with her, pet her, hug her, sim jaeyun is in liquid state. T~T cutest thing ever. He’s gonna take you out with Layla to dog parks and make so many precious memories with you like this. You’re gonna be like a loving family of three and he’s also gonna hang your family picture in the living room of your shared apartment. <3

☆ 𝗜𝗡𝗧𝗥𝗢𝗗𝗨𝗖𝗜𝗡𝗚 𝗬𝗢𝗨 𝗧𝗢 𝗛𝗜𝗦 𝗠𝗢𝗠- jake can’t wait to introduce you to his mom but he’s gonna be really shy and awkward at the beginning. But after you date for half a year or a year and he’s sure he wants a future with you, he’s gonna make you meet his mom. 🥹 he loves it when his mom loves you and approves of you and from there, you’d be visiting her almost every weekend you get to! <3 she’s just as sweet as her son and both of you are extremely overjoyed that you’re to be a part of this sweet & loving family..so very soon. :’))

✼••┈┈┈┈••✼♡✼••┈┈┈┈••✼♥︎✼••┈┈┈┈••✼

🄰/🄽: 𝘁𝗵𝗶𝘀 𝗶𝘀 𝗳𝗼𝗿 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗹𝗼𝘃𝗲 𝗼𝗳 𝗺𝘆 𝗹𝗶𝗳𝗲, 𝗷𝗮𝗸𝗲, 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗯𝗲𝘀𝘁 𝗺𝗮𝗻 𝗼𝗻 𝗲𝗮𝗿𝘁𝗵. ♥︎ 𝗁𝗈𝗉𝖾 𝗒'𝖺𝗅𝗅 𝖾𝗇𝗃𝗈𝗒𝖾𝖽 𝖺𝗇𝖽 𝖽𝗈𝗇'𝗍 𝖿𝗈𝗋𝗀𝖾𝗍 𝗍𝗈 𝗋𝖾𝖻𝗅𝗈𝗀 𝖺𝗇𝖽 𝗅𝖾𝖺𝗏𝖾 𝗒𝗈𝗎𝗋 𝖼𝗎𝗍𝖾 𝖿𝖾𝖾𝖽𝖻𝖺𝖼𝗄𝗌 𝗂𝗇 𝖼𝗈𝗆𝗆𝖾𝗇𝗍𝗌 𝖺𝗇𝖽 𝗍𝖺𝗀𝗌! ^_^

Tagging: @boowoowho @miyoung07 @cloudcutter @yjjungwon @kpoproyal @rikismiel @ingkai

1K notes · View notes

heartandfangs · 2 years

Text

YOU WISH.

GENRE Roommates AU, Playboy!Jake, Virgin!Reader, Suggestive, A bit of fluff

PAIRING f!Reader x Jake/Jaeyun

WARNINGS 18+ ONLY, Cursing, Flirting, Slow-burn, Morally-grey characters, Sexual tension, Fantasizing, Brief mention of a past blowjob, Teasing, Sub!Jake’s dirty thoughts + Praise kink exposed yet again, MC gets a little physical and aggressive (nothing crazy, promise), University/Adulthood woes, One too many puppy references

WORD COUNT 3.3k

SUMMARY One thing led to another, then suddenly a puppy was following you around in the library during finals week– it turns out his name is Jake Sim, a flirtatious underclassman who quite possibly could be the quickest answer to your desperate prayers. But there was only one thing to do when he started getting in the way of your study time; let him know that this was your territory.

AUTHOR’S NOTE I wrote this before all the installments of IOU but forgot about it until recently lol. This could be a standalone fic, but it's essentially IOU– Part Zero. I revised it because I think it adds a layer to the story and how MC got into this debacle as Jake’s roommate in the first place. It's fun and offers more telling insight into their first impressions of each other.

I’m in the midst of writing Part 5 and it’s going to be a pretty long chapter so I hope you look forward to reading it soon! I will say Heeseung is in the spotlight a bit more while Jake is down in the dumps for this upcoming chapter and the man has absolutely no chill. So, get your dose of Jekjek here while you can!

As always, like/reblog this fic and leave me some feedback if you enjoyed it and want more. Reading your wild and sweet comments is honestly my favorite part next to writing. 🤍⚰️

TAGLIST @fan-zhan, @burningsunsun, @kazuhugs, @skzenhalove, @axartia, @stbwe, @duolingofanaccount, @writingmochi

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3,Part 4, Masterlist

A text notification sounded from your pocket– it was from your potential roommate and little did you know how dreadful it would be to read.

'___, I'm so sorry, but my plans have changed, as I'm taking a job offer out of town. I can't move in with you anymore. So sorry for the insanely late heads up, but I do wish you the best of luck– and belated congratulations on graduating!'

"Shit, shit– shit!"

Unable to even think about where you'd be living after graduation with finals on your mind, you pocketed your phone and ran an aggravated hand through your hair. Nothing irked you more than when people went back on their word, especially last minute; this was not helping your rising stress levels.

Jesus, feel free to take the wheel any moment now–

The library elevator doors binged on a floor that wasn't your stop; you exhaled heavily, tapping your foot impatiently.

Your bloodshot eyes darted to the boy revealed behind the elevator doors. Immediately you noticed his figure– he was several inches taller than you, lean, and had dark brown hair. Handsome. The student was dressed in a plaid shirt over a casual tee paired with denim jeans and sneakers. He probably belonged to a fraternity, but that was just a stereotypical guess.

You locked eyes with him for a split second and noticed his brows raise in interest ever so slightly, causing you to hastily shift your gaze elsewhere. You settled on staring at the button that lit up to indicate your destination was the top floor.

You noticed him stand up a little straighter out of the corner of your eye as he faced the closing steel doors. The young man's cologne suddenly filled the enclosed space, triggering your keen senses. To your delight, he smelled of warm amber and subtle lavender. Pleasant yet unexpected.

The student made no move to choose a different floor, and you pretended not to notice. He cleared his throat suddenly, earning a confused look from you.

"Here to study?" The boy smiled at you, and you didn't miss the lilt in his voice, his Australian accent nearly throwing you off.

"Yeah, like everybody else," You replied indifferently.

His smile left as quickly as he gave it; he glanced down at his shoes. Your curt answer seemingly deterred him from continuing the conversation with you.

Shoot. Well, you couldn't help it.

Finals week had you tense and single-minded at the moment. Pleasantries and small talk weren't your forte in the first place.

Honestly, you just hoped that you'd come across an available seat for you to hunker down in and get shit done. However, the ride up the elevator was slower than usual, and you couldn't shake off the bit of guilt in your chest.

The elevator opened to the top level of the library, and the boy allowed you to step out first. The two of you parted ways in search of a cubicle.

It was clear that after you made several rounds circling the floor like a hawk, every seat on the floor was taken.

The highest floor of the library was the most ideal study spot as it was the one with the best thermostat setting, the best wifi, and the quietest environment. It was your go-to spot all semester long, and you were annoyed that the entirety of the student body suddenly piled in during finals week.

Where was everyone else while you spent time between class periods and evenings sifting through the aisles of books and hogging a study room all to yourself? It was hardly fair, but you accepted your defeat.

After a hot minute, you were back where you started, leaning against the wall in the lobby facing the set of elevators. What a nightmarish process– you'd have to try your luck on another floor.

Apparently, someone else had met the same fate as you.

You watched the student who rode the elevator with you shuffle back into the lobby, looking as hopeless as you felt. However, his expression brightened considerably upon noticing you staring at him.

Ah, shit.

You shifted your weight into your other leg as he made a beeline your way.

"No luck staking down a spot either?" He asked from a polite distance with his hands slipped into his pockets.

Despite that, his warm scent enveloped you again, and you inhaled slightly, trying not to be obvious. You suddenly wondered if you smelled weird— did you smell weird?

"No," you tried to inject a little more emotion into your voice, even if you just sounded disappointed, "Everything was taken, unfortunately."

"Wanna try the third floor with me? It's one of the less popular floors, but it usually has a decent amount of tables and cubicles," He asked, catching you off guard.

"Um…"

Would he end up trying to chat with you the entire time if you two did manage to find a spot to study? You supposed you were willing to take your chances to find a place asap.

After all, your photography final was in three hours, and you didn't have any more time to waste since you had put off studying for the elective in favor of your core classes.

Momentarily you regarded the boy who gave you a hopeful look, in the exact way a puppy might when they want to tag along on an errand run.

Such creatures were your ultimate weakness, right next to any offer that involved ‘food’ or ‘free’.

"...Sure," You agreed with a sigh.

"Alright! Let's go." You noted his eyes shone when he smiled.

Hoping you'd find better luck on the third floor, once you exited the elevators, you led the way, weaving between the aisles of books to check for open cubicles near the walls.

The boy you'd just met was in close tow behind you; not close enough to touch, obviously, but a lot closer than you'd expect someone to be when you hardly knew each other.

Maybe he just felt more comfortable around you after you agreed to join forces under the name of studying.

Upon emerging from an aisle of shelves, your eyes zoned in on a single free cubicle and chair in the corner of the room.

A wish come true!

Slowly, you glanced back at Jake to gauge his reaction. His mouth formed a silent "ah" before stopping in his tracks. Other students were in the vicinity, their noses buried in textbooks and laptops, a terrible tension suffocating the air.

"You can take it," you quickly whispered, surprised at your sudden generosity.

He merely smirked back and motioned you ahead with his hand, "Go ahead, you saw it first."

You tried to hide your amusement and insisted he take it, wanting to make up for your lack of friendliness during your first interaction in the elevator. If you two found a spot this quickly, there might be a chance you'd find another just as soon, right?

While you waited for his response, he merely looked around at his surroundings, seemingly contemplative, until his gaze settled back on you.

"Shall we keep looking?" He boldly suggested.

This time your brows raised in surprise, lips parting as a response was slow to form in your mind.

Jake's dark eyes bore into you, rooting you to your spot while all you heard was clicking keyboards and the shuffling of papers. The implication of his suggestion dawned on you.

Did you want to continue to keep each other company?

You really hadn't experienced much social interaction with that many people this semester, except with the friendly Dance major you'd settle in next to during your photography class. Which, by the way, was coming up hot on your schedule.

Now really wasn't the time, and yet...

"Okay," You said, sealing your fate.

Wait, what?

You were unable to believe your own words.

Jake had watched you all the while and chuckled, extremely pleased at your response. This time, he guided you down the walkway, passing behind the rows of busy students back into the shelf aisles.

"What's your name?"

Jake slowed his pace to walk side-by-side with you, causing you to nearly brush arms to squeeze by the narrow walkways. You realized that you two hadn't exchanged the most basic information yet.

"___," You shared.

He was all smiles as he repeated it as enthusiastically as he could in a library setting, "I'm Jake."

It seemed his voice could be a bit deep at times; it was interesting hearing him whisper your name.

"Nice to meet you… Jake." You tried his name out, and he nodded. "What's your major?"

"I'm a Business major, minoring in Marketing."

"Oh wow, you must have a lot to study for," You pondered.

"Yeah, a bit. I graduate in a year, so I have to keep it up for a little while longer."

Jake must be finishing up as a Junior then. You didn't expect that with his build, although it's tough to tell someone's age and class year these days with everyone having different paths in life. You wondered if he was an athlete on top of everything else education-wise.

"I see."

The fact that you were graduating so soon was scary, but you were planning to play it safe for a while and rack up experience at your internship before making any big moves.

"You gotta work hard and play hard, you know?"

Although you imagined you two had different definitions for the latter term, you nodded.

The two of you suddenly came across a set of empty individual cubicles simultaneously, side by side.

"I think those are reserved for us," Jake nudged your arm with his elbow. You glanced up at him and met his friendly eyes once again.

"Lucky us," You proceeded to take the seat to the left of the other one.

Jake slung off his backpack onto the other table and leaned over your partition to speak to you. You eyed him in curiosity from your seat as you shimmied your laptop out of your bag.

Settling his arms on top of the wooden divider of your cubicle, Jake suddenly dropped his half-lidded gaze to your lips, then back up to your wide eyes.

All the while, his grin never disappeared as he watched you freeze in your chair, undeterred.

Did he just—?

"Mind watching my stuff for me for a sec?"

His voice had gotten lower again too. You nodded dumbly.

"Thanks," he smiled at you before walking off to the lobby.

Oh. You knew that look, but you've never really been on the receiving end of one that intense.

It made you feel pinned to the spot like you were being cornered or coerced… into what exactly? Unable to expend energy on what was going on, you decided to stand your ground regardless of what might happen. One couldn't afford to waste any more time in this scenario, so you tried to shrug it off and busy yourself with studying.

Within a minute, your study station was set up, laptop, notebooks, and all. Facts about appropriate aperture and ISO settings in correlation with various weathers filled your mind as you crammed for your photography final, not without great effort. At some point, Jake returned and settled into his cubicle.

He left you alone, for a good while at least.

You were pulled out of your deep thoughts upon noticing Jake's chair pull up by your side.

"How goes it?" He whispered.

"Fine… it's a little tedious of final to study for," You admitted. Who knew one would have to study so much content for a class like photography.

"You seem like a smart girl, so I'm sure you'll ace it. Want me to quiz you?"

"I… sure?"

Jake adjusted his chair to face you and leaned back in it, taking your study packet in hand. Letting his legs spread open comfortably, Jake's fingers innocently played with the stitched seam of his jeans along his inner thigh. At the same time, he rattled off some questions, inevitably attracting your attention to his lower half.

Jake watched you shift in your chair as you tried your damnedest to look elsewhere while answering his questions accurately.

In the meantime, Jake slyly took in the details of your appearance over the edge of your worksheets. He appreciated the way those tight black leggings of yours, paired with that little cropped sweater displayed the curves of your body in a way that had him undressing you in his mind, only guessing at what color panties you wore beneath it all.

He shamelessly dragged his eyes over the swell of your chest, the tips of your nipples peeking through the sweater fabric. He was glad that the library A/C was blasting even on the third floor and that you'd chosen to forgo wearing a bra.

"Hey. Eyes up here, kid," You warned, snapping your fingers.

Jake licked his lips, quickly meeting your scrutinizing gaze. "Sorry."

"For some reason, I don't believe that." You moved to pluck your worksheet out of his grasp, but he kept it out of reach.

"Sorry, I'll do it properly—! "

You lowered your head and shoved him down too.

"Whisper, dummy!"

The way your fingers threaded through Jake's hair, albeit a bit roughly, sent wonderful sparks down his spine. He rubbed his thighs together, breath shuddering.

"Sorry, you're just really—"

Suddenly he was being dragged out of his seat into a nearby aisle of books, further away from the students trying to focus on their studies.

You swung Jake around, his back hitting a tall shelf of books with a thump.

Crossing your arms, you glared up at him. "Jake, stop apologizing and quiz me; I don't have time to waste. Now sit."

Jake slid down the shelf of books until he hit the floor, clutching onto your notes. His wide eyes peered up at you– and you kicked yourself for thinking he looked adorable.

You had your literal finals to study for, and it was his suggestion to help you in the first place.

You slunk down in front of him and crossed your legs, leaning against the opposite shelf.

"Start from the top."

Jake nodded and obediently quizzed you with more focus and enthusiasm under your watch. He was impressed that you nailed every question, yet far from surprised.

You would check your watch every so often, making Jake realize his time spent with you was limited. He had to act fast.

Once you answered the last question, you stretched your hands towards the ceiling, satisfied with your performance.

"Nice job, ___. Guaranteed A+ for sure," He stared at you, nibbling on his bottom lip, clearly wanting to please.

You tilted your head curiously. "So, you can be a good boy."

This guy is kind of like a moody puppy. Kind of like… Stitch?

You held back a snort at the comparison your brain made, but Jake clearly had a similar mischievous side to him if he thought he was being slick while checking you out.

Jake nearly panicked while receiving your praise, trying to refrain from twitching as you ran a hand over his dark fringe to pat his head. The simple gesture felt so nice, somehow even nicer than the blowjob he had just gotten back in the business building earlier that morning.

Unable to fight the flush of heat rising up his cheeks, he brought his knees closer to his chest; his jeans had grown uncomfortably tight. Why was he getting so worked up by just a few light touches from a girl he'd just met?

…

Who was Jake kidding? He'd been struggling to control his urges since he first laid eyes on you in the elevator.

"You should know, it’s not easy to make me like this," Jake couldn't help but reveal.

"Clearly," You chuckled quietly at his sulky expression, assuming he was referring to his compliant attitude.

Jake's face lit up at your laugh, even if it was at his own expense. His leg stretched out across the carpet to bump against yours, and that drew your attention, your amused smile lingering.

He took a deep breath, "I'm just going to throw this out there. My lease is up at the end of this semester, and my dorm sucks. I'm looking at this apartment on the outskirts of campus because fuck my dorm RA and everyone else in it. I want a place downtown where all the nightlife is… and I'm also in the market for a roommate."

Your ears perked up. "Really?"

Jake's brows rose in anticipation of your interest.

"Huh, tell me more—"

"Shhh!" A random student's voice scolded from nearby.

Several heads nearby whipped in your direction, and you ducked your head in apology, not realizing you raised your voice.

Jake giggled and scooted closer to you, lowering his tone of voice to a murmur. He spread his hand flat against the floor near your leg.

"Here's the deal, ___. I'm only expecting my roommate to pay a quarter of rent; I'll be covering the rest."

"Why the hell is that?" You asked, genuinely shocked at the offer.

Jake looped his finger through your shoelace, tugging at it slightly. "…I like to have people over often, so I'm not the quietest roommate, but I'll stay out of your way."

You weren't exactly sure what that meant, but you skipped pressing the matter, still aghast at what his proposition could mean for you. "That's an insane offer, dude. No bullshit?"

"Nope. Do you wanna go down there and look at the place with me Friday evening?"

You nodded, but as he took out his phone to exchange numbers, you grabbed his wrist, startling him. Jake swallowed thickly at your proximity, anticipating your following words.

"You're not trying to lure me out to a weird place to murder me, are you, Jake?"

Jake's throat nearly seized before answering.

Christ, she's a cautious one, isn't she?

"Nah, of course not," He joked, "I'm not diabolical enough to execute a big, sticky ordeal like that. Besides, you don't seem like the sort of person I'd want to cross—"

— Too much, at least.

Secretly, deep down, Jake quite liked how assertive you could get when he acted out. Interacting with you was, by his definition, fun.

You smirked, "Very good answer."

Every inch of his skin that your hand covered was set alight. The moment you pulled back, Jake wished you hadn't let go but instead chose to run your fingers up his arm and through his hair again, praising him for saying the right answer, for being such a good boy.

He knew you two had just met and that he was insane for thinking this— but why could he imagine countless scenarios involving all the restaurants the two of you could share a meal at, all the late-night movies to catch with you, amongst the limitless ways to make you moan his name in pleasure?

Such weird thoughts to have… except for the latter.

As you stood up, Jake flexed his tingling hand.

You snatched your worksheet back but offered your free hand to him, "I guess I owe you one."

Maybe you did, but Jake wanted nothing more than to pull you back down on him and take your stress away, however you'd like him to.

Even if it involved you pushing him up against any sort of solid surface again, especially if it meant letting him play with your lovely tits in his mouth while you got yourself off by grinding down on his aching bulge.

He didn't mind that you were a high-strung individual– couldn't even blame you, what with all the stressful energy permeating the entire campus– that just made the thought of breaking you down all the sweeter.

Fuck.

He mentally soothed himself, feeling dizzy.

Calm down, Jaeyun, calm down, calm down…

He was in dire need of developing self-control; it could complicate things.

"If it ends up working out for your situation, then let's be roommates," Jake replied instead, slipping his hand into yours as you hauled him to his feet with a strength he wouldn't have guessed you had.

Stars tinged the edge of his vision while he focused on your bare facial features.

Beautiful.

"And if not?" You asked.

"I just might request that you reserve us a private study room—"

You lightly shoved at his chest, rolling your eyes while he grinned at you.

"You wish, Jake."

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