#i liked this idea so much so here we are kids
Note
How would Dark-Yandere!Farmer react to finding reader taking Polaroid photo shoots of his retired senior dogs in silly clothing like sunglasses, hair clips, etc. Btw love your writing keep up the good work!🫶🏼
Dark-Yandere!Farmer x GN!Reader
TW - Readers def developing Stockholm Syndrome or something of the sort, nothing else though this fix is sweeter as an apology for the intense one last time about reader being punished. This was meant to be a qick paragraph or two as an answer but I got to deep into lore and this sweet scenario as it’s a side of him we don’t see much. Thanks for the idea glad you’re liking this blog❤️
I’ll proof read later
You’d expressed an interest in his old cameras after he let you rummage through a few boxes he’d stored away. In a box he’s got a old digital camera a Polaroid one and then a really fragile one that’s much older than the rest, you didn’t dare pick it up in fear it would fall adapt just by touch. Then at the bottom of the box, a few images, some developed film some printed. You recognised him in some home images or family portraits, he looked like a happy kid with a cheesy grin sometimes even pictured on this very farm but most of them look to be taken in a small town house.
It’s weird to imagine at one point he was just a normal kid, living a normal life, photos of him blowing out candles on his birthday or with some older family members reminded you that no ones born ‘bad’. Makes you wonder why he’s the way he is now, what happened?
A part of you wanted to take one of those sweet images of him as a child and hide it away, to uncover and re-remind yourself he’s not a living monster but a human and a kind one at times. To ground yourself when he gets angry and all you can see him as is a living demon. To set the aspiration that if he was once so -he can be again.
You recognised a woman from the images as his mother because he kept a image of her in the bedside draw, she looked loving and kind. But he’d never talk about her, answering your careful questions about her with “she was a good mother” or “she was an admirable woman” he seemed emotionally withdrawn about it so you didn’t push it. You figured since she’s dead he’s just remembering her face.
The rest of the pictures seemed to be from the building of this farm, dated on the back in scruffy hands writing, maybe by his father or grandfather. You could look through this pile of history for hours, not just to learn more about your captor but about the history of this place and the his family that he’s so reluctant to talk about.
The ladder to the attic creaks behind you and his distinct heavy boots land with a thud and groan on the ladder steps “what’s got you so occupied up here?” You felt like you’d been caught looking in something you shouldn’t have despite having permission “j-just these cameras, I had a polaroid camera once” you turned to him showing him the old camera, he now off the ladder and standing over you.
“Hmm, old thing -maybe older than us” he gently took it from you hands to inspect it “probably still works if you want it, not any use just sitting up here” he hands it back “thank you” you reply with a smile he waves you off and crouches down beside the box with you. He shuffles through it completely ignoring the images from his past and he rummages in search of something “No film stacks though, I’ll pick some up from town next time”
“Really?” You look over at him in excitement, he shrugs “sure” he stands up ready to head back down stairs “had I known you’d be so happy I’d have gotten you one sooner” he chuckles at your excitement over something so small.
To you it’s much more than a old camera to take up some free time when you get bored. It’s yours, you can control it, keep it for your own. You don’t have much things that’s yours anymore but the collections growing.
...
You’d basically forgotten about getting film for your camera as a week or two had passed. But he hadn’t, he returned to the truck once again being one of may shops he had to stop at. But this time he didn’t have heavy bags of stock or material and tools for the farm but just 3 small boxes that he could carry in just one hand.
He sat down in his seat and extended his hand to give you the boxed, you furrowed your brows in confusion until you read one of the box’s. A big smile plastered you face when you got to the word ‘film’ “that should be enough to last you a long while” “thank you” you grinned giving him a quick hug out of appreciation.
Once you both pulled into the driveway of the farm you had already thought up many picture opportunities, and you couldn’t wait to get to it. The car parked and he gave you the go ahead “You can finally get to your photography, take some pretty pictures” you practically ran to the house to retrieve the camera.
...
You’d been in the house for a hour or two at this point and he’d began to get a bit concerned, usually you’d come outside now and then or spend the afternoon in the barn playing with the animals. But no sign of you. He put the final nail into the fence he was fixing and decided to come check on you.
He got to the front door and could hear you laughing before even opening it “good boy Berty, you’re so handsome” his curiosity peaked at those words, he quietly made his way to the room you and presumably Berty the elderly farm dog was in and observed from the door frame.
There you sat, infront of Berty whose dressed up in various items and fabrics mimicking clothes. The camera clicks and your silent as you watch it develop, Berty still sits patiently. “We got the picture, look at how dapper you look” you praise him and he gets exited leaving all the items fall off his as he runs up to you to get pet.
“When I said pretty pictures I was envisioning landscapes or with artistic vision” he jokes still standing in the door way unable to not smile at such a bizarre but cute sight. You stand shocked for a moment, he’s not one to creep up on you, it when you see his amused smile you loosen back up. “This is artistic vision, and Bertys my muse, look at how handsome” you joke and show him the photo “it’s something alright” he almost laughs out.
“Hey, this is worthy of a museum, the composition the choice of colours the muse, it all tells a story” you continue to joke, he just shakes his head unable to wipe away his smile “as long as your happy, I guess” “I am, thank you again” moments like this you forget everything you went though and are able to exist in ignorance.
Those moments are becoming more frequent now especially since he’s began to become more relaxed, he wasn’t as authoritarian anymore, your sure if you pushed it he wouldn’t have a 2nd thought of going back to the way things were. There’s always that lingering threat but it’s not as pronounced anymore. You’re starting to see the love he has for you, sometimes unconventional and deranged possessiveness but moments like this, seeing him smile and joke you can delude yourself into believing he’s a normal partner.
He brings you in closer by the hips “you’re so cute” his grin is akin to the little boy in those pictures, you’ve seemed to restore a part of his childish cheer. He pecks your lips “I bet the barn animals are missing you, maybe you should take this photography session to them, I’m sure they’ll appreciate the attention”
And that’s what you did, dressed up the chickens though they didn’t stay still -the cows were great models -but a few animals tried to eat the accessories and clothing which made things harder. The farmer got less work done than normal that afternoon as he found it quite amusing and cute watching you through the cracked barn door trying to wrestle a bow onto a goat.
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— I'm never babysittin' again!
Thanks to the anon who requested this one, I've been working on this since I got in and fun fact, I've had no sleep whatsoever, so definitely gonna regret that at work later...
Anyways, I am working through other requests and stuff. If anyone has anymore, let me know. Always willing to write stuff within reason.
Also, massive thanks to @alotofpockets who helped me come up with some of the idea's to add in.
pairings: kim little x reader, leah williamson x reader, arsenal wfc x reader
summary: readers' a menance on the trip to melbourne along with her partner in crime, kyra, and poor kimmy's almost having a nervous breakdown over it, so she has to call in reinforcements back home in london.
"I'm bored," You let out an exagerated sigh and kicked your legs back and forth as you had been forced to sit on one of the seats in the secluded lounge area as you had to wait for your flight to board.
You were partaking in a friendly game in Melbourne with the rest of your Arsenal team mates against an A-League team, you had been so excited about this ever since you found out that you'd made the squad.
"How much longer?" You can't help but be bored, being forced to sit in an airport certainly wasn't your idea of fun, neither was being stuck under the watchful eye of your Captain either.
You swear that the club, and Leah in particular, had planned this on purpose.
It's like they knew already, somehow.
You wouldn't call yourself a troublemaker, persay, buts' what fun is life without causing a little mischeif, sometimes?
Apparently, the rest of the older girls' didn't have the same thoughts about it.
At least you had Kyra on your side to involve her in the chaos, the girl was a bit older than you but she was your partner in crime, you two always fun causing mischief together.
"It won't be too much longer, Y/N. Just be patient," Kim, your captain and unoffical babysitter for the trip, tries to reassure you, but never the less, you just feel further restless.
In your defence, you can't help the boundless energy you have inside of you, its' like your body feels like lightening bolts are itching to strike and you just want to be up and racing about.
The confides of the hard plastic seat make it difficult to do that though.
"But I'm bored, Kim," You repeat in a whiny tone of voice, throwing your head back in frustration. "Nobodys' letting me have fun around here!"
"There's a difference between fun and trouble kid," Steph, another one of your team mates, chimes in, amused by your antics.
"It won't be too much longer now, Y/N. I'm sure you can wait just that little bit longer," Kim states, although her patience is wearing thin.
It hadn't even been 24 hours yet, and the Scottish women was already on the brink of a nervous breakdown.
"Are you excited to be going to Melbourne, kid?" Steph wonders, trying to keep your mind occupied for the time being, already being able to see how fidgty you have become, "It's a cool place, you're gonna love it!" She adds.
"Uh huh. I'm excited-- Oh wait, I still need sweets for the light!" You suddenly realise, attempting to make a break for it when you can.
Kim shakes her head in disagreement, "Its' too late now, Y/N. We're going to boarding the flight soon," She interjects, trying to reign you in.
"Yeah, and you definitely don't need anymore sugar because you're already hyper enogugh," Steph adds in, which you respond to her with a pout.
"Aw, man. Leah would let me if she was here," You try and protest, however, your words are very much incorrect and of course the rest of the girls aren't stupid enough to believe that either.
You know that Leah, if she was here, would most definitely not allow you to have sugar at all.
In fact, she'd purposely try and make ham sandwiches in an attempt to steer you from even going in the direction of the shop.
"No she wouldn't," Katie, one of the older girls on the team comments as she passes by.
"Yeah, we all know what you're like without sugar. You don't need any of it,Titch," Caitlin, one of the Aussie girls on your team, adds in.
You huff in further protest, your bordem is slowly persisting and it feels like you've been waiting for the flight to board for ages.
Desperately trying to find something to occupy your time, your eyes gaze upon the several dogs' lined up near the barriers to get through security.
"Bingo," You think to yourself as your eyes' light up in delight, wasting no time to jump up from your seat and dart in the direction of the dogs.
All you want to do is pet them. They look adorable in your opinion.
Before anyone could even stop you, you'd already successfully made it halfway across the terminal in the direction, however, the annoucement of the flight to boarding to Melbourne had gotten Kims' attention now.
"Right, our flights been called. See Y/N? I told you it wouldn't be that long," Kim spoke aloud, not realising that you'd somehow managed to wander off in the time that she'd turned round to speak to Steph, "Where's Y/N gone?!" She questions, her eyes widen in panic when she doesn't see you in her eyesight.
"Look's like she went to pet the dogs," Kyra snickers, amused with your antics, and although she should try and stop you, she wanted to see how far you would succeed with your little adventure.
"She wants to make friends with them," Teyah joins in, just as amused as she watches the scene unfold.
"And neither of you tried to stop her? You know what she's like!" Kim shakes her head in disbelief and her eyes' almost buldge out of her sockets when she spots you nearing the dogs, "Oh, God-- Y/F/N!"
"You might wanna grab her before she gets' her arm ripped off, Kim," Katie jokes, watching in amusement.
"Unbelieveable," Kim mutters to herself as she races' quicker than ever in the direction of you.
Unfortunately before you'd made it nearer to the dogs, you feel a firm grip on your upper bicep that's starting to tug you back forcefully.
You spin round and are met with your Captains' stern face, "Kim!" You whine in protest while trying to wriggle free from her grasp.
"What an earth are you doing, Y/N? You can't pet the dogs!" Kim scolds you, remaining to still have your hand on you tightly to not allow you to run off again. "Come on, we need to board the flight," She adds, sternly.
"But the dogs though. They're adorable!" You pout in further protest, not happy about being pulled away before you even had chance to pet them.
"Mhm, as adorable as they look, they're patrol dogs and they have a job to do here," Kim remarks sarcastically, dragging you back in the direction of your team mates so you can board the flight.
"Maybe you need to invest in a leash for her," Alessia, another one of your team mates pipes in as she watches you be reluctantly dragged back to the group of girls while Kims' already rubbing her temples in dispare ahead of the flight before its' even taken off.
"Pst, Kyra," You nudge the older girl not so gently to wake her up, having been bored on the flight while the rest of the girls seem to be asleep or doing their own thing, "Wanna play a prank on some of the others?" You question, mischeviously.
So far the flight to Melbourne hadn't been that adventurous, somehow through luck though you managed to be able to sit next to your partner in crime.
It was great for you, however, not so much for Kim, whos' been frazzled and trying to keep things under control the whole time on the flight.
"Absolutely," Kyra grins in respose as theres' a matching mischevious twinkle in her eye, "What'd you have in mind?" She wonders, curiously.
You grin and proceed to pull out a whoopee cushion from your carry-on, "Well, we could start with this?" You suggest in a quiet whisper, to not get the attention of Kim, whos' got her head buried in a book at the moment.
"Genius!" Kyra's eyes light up in glee, "Whos' our first target?" She questions.
"Caitlins' dozzing off," You gesture in the direction where Caitlins' half in and out of sleep.
You and Kyra both share a look before the older girl sneaks over to Caitlin and slips the whoopie cushion underneath the older Australians' seat.
"Show time," You smirk as you wait for her to sit on it.
Caitlin wakes up startled when it suddenly goes off and she looks around confused, "What the--?"
The pair of you can't help but giggle uncontrollably.
"Y/N, Kyra," Kim catches onto your troublemaker ways and narrows her eyebrow, "Behave!"
"What? We didn't do anything!" You feign your innocence, holding your hands up in protest.
"Let's move on to Steph," Kyra encourages you to continue with your pranks.
"Yeah, good shout," You nod in agreement and find the packet of gummy worms in your bag, you could easily eat them but pranking the Aussie women was more worth it. "Lets' put these in her bag. She'll totally freak out!" You add in.
Kyra eagerly accepts the packet of sweets and sneaks over to Stephs' seat, cautiosly depositing the gummy worms in her open backpack, "Done. Now we just need to wait for her to go in there--"
"Ah! What the hell?" If Stephs' facial expression is anything to go by then you guess Stephs' found them already, "Y/N! Kyra!"
"It weren't us," Kyra plays it off and shrugs her shoulders.
"Yeah, you have no proof," You give the girl a smug grin.
The older Australian women shakes her head in annoyance, "Pests. You're both a pair of pests, honestly," She mutters aloud.
"You two are something else," Katie overhears the commotion and shakes her head.
"Dare I ask what you pair did now?" Alessia questions, joining in as she overhears the noise from her fellow team mate.
"I don't know what you're talkin' about, we're just havin' a bit of fun," You still continue to act innocent, although you personally don't understand what the fuss is about when you're contained in a metal box with no escape.
You need to entertain yourself, somehow.
Pranking your team mates is the perfect opportunity.
"Hey, Alessia! Do you like spiders?" Kyra smirk mischeviously, already ahead of the plans for another prank at the expense of the older blonde girl, who you both know has a bad fear for them.
"No, not really-- Ah!" Alessia shrieks loudly when you toss a fake spider in her direction, doing no more than jumping up onto her seat before she realises a fake plastic one and is now glaring at you, "Y/N! Kyra!" She yells, annoyed with you both.
"That's enough!" Kim shoots up from her seat, giving you both a pointed look. "Both of you, sit down and behave!" She bellows.
"Yes, ma'am," You pretend to be serious and move back to your seat.
Kyra gives your Captain a mock salute and continues to follow suit, "Aye aye, Captain!" She jokes with her.
"I don't want to hear anything more from the pair of you for the rest of this flight," Kim warns you both before she returns to reading her book.
"Pst, Y/N," It's Kyra's turn to nudge you know with a knowing look on her face, "We should try and see if we can balance peanuts on Frida's head while she's asleep," she suggests the idea to you.
Never being the one to turn down a challenge, you smirk and nod your head in agreement, "You're on. That'll be easy!" You insist.
With the task in hand, you both lean across your seats' and carefully begin to place peanuts on Frida's head, one by one.
"Wow. I didn't think this would actually work," You whisper in amazement and try to stifle your giggling, however, thats' not going to plan when Frida wakes up and the peanuts' fly everywhere.
"What..." Frida looks completely baffled, while you and Kyra still continue to hold back your laughter even more.
You can't hold it in much longer before you end up bursting out in laughter, "That... That was great!" You state in amusement.
"Y/F/N! Kyra! I swear, if you don't behave then I'll have the captain come talk to you!" Kim chides, feeling like she's ready to blow with the mishchief that you pair have caused. "I mean it when I say no more trouble from either of you for the rest of this entire flight, understood?"
You still can't help but laugh out loud at the misfortune of Frida wearing half a bag of peanuts on her head, "Someons' salty. Get it, cos' they were salted peanuts!" You crack up into more laughter.
"I mean it, Y/N. I will get the captain, or when we get to Melbourne, I'll have no problem in telling Leah all the antics you got up to," Kim threatens you and your face pales immediately.
Sure, the captain of the plane might be terrifying, but your blonde vice-captain was someone you definitely did not want to be in hot water with.
Unforuntately, you seemed to find yourself on the end of stern lecture with her one too many times.
"Okay, okay. I'll stop, I'll behave-- Don't phone her!" Your quick to plead with your Captain, really not wanting her to make that call.
Kyra nods but she keeps her fingers crossed behind her back, "Yeah, we'll be good," She states.
"I'll believe it when I see it," Steph mutters, shaking her head.
Caitlin nods in agreement with the older Aussie girl, "Them pair are magnets for trouble," She remarks.
It wasn't long before you had arrived in Melbourne, when your flair for trouble is encouraged once again by Kyra and the pair of you can't resist goofing off inside the gym.
"Kimmy!" You all but plow yourself on the older women, whos' peacefully minding her own business on one of the massage tables until you came at her like a full whirlwind.
Somehow, Kyra decides to get the idea to improvise giving your Captain chest compressions or something along the lines of what it looks like.
Also, trying to encourage you to hang of the pull up bar with the overshadowing of a bet on the tables.
You have always loved to bet on things. Your not turning down this opportunity.
"Kimmy! Kyra' reckons I can't hang off the pull up bar. Watch this!" You tattle, before you make your way over to the bar.
"Y/N, no. You'll hurt yourself!" Kim's quick to bolt up from the table to stop you from attempting to break your leg with your attempt to hang upside down on the pull up bar.
Kyra giggles mischeviously and watches as Kim almost has a near heart attack watching the trouble unfold, "Nah, Y/N. You've gotta do it like this!" With that, she pulls herself up onto the bar and flips herself over so she's dangling upside down.
"The pair of you get down before you get hurt!" Kim chides, trying to keep a stern facade when dealing with the pair of you. "Y/N, I'm serious. Get down!" She repeats, trying to reason with your chaotic antics.
"Your no fun. I only wanted to swing from the bar like a monkey," You huff in protest and begrudingly get off the bar to save your Captain from having an annuerysm.
Unfortunately for the older girl, your trouble doesn't seem to stop for too long and between you and Kyra, you had managed to mismatch everyones' boots when they were mostly preoccupied.
"Why do my boots' feel different?" Katies' the first one to realise as she looks at them in confusion, "These aren't mine," She notes.
Caitlins' just as quick to realise her own pair are missing, "Hey, who took my boots?" She questions.
"Seriously, guys?" Steph huffs, holding up two different sized boots in each of her hands.
Kim spins' round to look at you and Kyra, "Girls, did you do this?" She asks, her voice sounding calm, which is weary in itself.
"Who, us? Never!" You can't help but grin, which is a dead giveaway from your latest shenanigans.
"Yeah, we were just standing here," Kyra feigns her innocence and holds her hands up in mock surrender.
Alessia can't help but laugh and shake her head, "I bet it was you two. Your always up to something," She states.
"Maybe," You let out a small giggle.
Kim exhales a sigh at your antics, "Just switch them back. We need to start training soon!" She tells you both, sternly.
"Yes, ma'am," You joke and pretend to be serious with your Captain.
"Right away, Captain," Kyra gives Kim another mock salute as the pair of you set the boots to the right players.
"Why do I put up with this?" Kim mutters to herself, although its' loud enough to be heard from a few of the girls.
"Remember what Less said about needing a leash for Y/N," Steph chimes in, reminding the Scottish women about the idea.
"At this point, I'm actually considering it," Kim remarks, already having thoughts about it.
"Hey, I'm not a dog!" You overhear the conversation and shout in protest.
"Ha, could you imagine? Y/N on a leash at training," Katie snickers in amusement and shakes her head, "That'd be hilarious!"
"Might actually be a good idea," Vic, another one of the girls on the team, chips in.
"I'm deeply hurt by this suggestion!" You still continue to act offended.
"You know its' true, Y/N/N," Caitlin laughs at your own expense, going to take a sip of her water but pulls away with the frown when there's a revolting taste from it, "Ew, why does my water taste horrible?" She asks, confused.
"Oh God," Steph exhales a sigh and pinches the bridge of her nose, "Kyra, Y/N, what have you done now?" She questions, glancing in both of your directions.
"Oh no, we must've got the bottles all in a pickle," Kyra smirks and gives the clue away as you both share a look with one another.
You can't help but burst out into laughter again, meanwhile Kims' slowly rubbing her temples and trying to refrain calm over the situation.
"Right, that's it, Y/N-- I'm callin' Leah. I've had enough of your troublemaker ways!" Your Captain states in outrage, shaking her head.
You freeze in your tracks and immediatly start to shake your head in protest, "No, no, please, Kim... Please, don't do that!" You plead with her.
"One more chance," Kim warns, firmly. "One more slip up and I'm phoning her!" She adds, shaking her head and questioning her life decisions on how she got stuck babysitting the kids (the untrustworthy and non responsible young adults) for this trip.
Better yet, the younger girls' that had joined them on the trip were better behaved than you were at times.
Having this be your first time in Melbourne, let alone Australia, you were keen to explore and when the prospect of a trip to the zoo was on the tables, you were more than ecstatic to visit there and see all of the animals.
Ever since Kims' threat to phone Leah back home in London, you been trying to remain on your best behaviour. You really didn't want to be in trouble with the blonde again, so you'd done your best to avoid your troublemaker partner.
However, that is easier said than done sometimes.
"Wow," You spoke aloud in amazement as you walk through the entrance of the Melbourne zoo, with the rest of your team mates in tow, keen to see as many of the animals as possible.
"Stay close, Y/N. I don't want to loose you," Kim warns, already thinking ahead of your disappearing act in the airport previous to this.
"I want to see the Koalas," You huff in protest and try to figure out a way to get away from them.
"You will, there'll be plenty of time for that. You just need to be patient," Kim reassures you, although her patience is way past the point of calm.
"Come with me, Y/N. I'll show you where they are," Kyra offers the opportunity for you to sneak away from the rest of the girls in the search for the animal you want to see.
"Okay," You don't think twice before being led astray by the older girl once again and make your way to the enclosure where they are, "Wow, they're so cool!" You stare at them in amazement.
"Aren't they just?" Kyra murmers, looking at them.
"Hey, I have an idea," There's a twinkle of mischief in your eye again as you look at the older Australian girl, "Bet you can't get a selfie with one of them!"
"Oh, yeah? You're on!" Kyra isn't one to back down from the challenge, completely missing the 'no entry' sign in clear view, she creeps towards one of them and you get your phone out and hold it up ready to take the photo.
"Hey! What're you doing?" The loud voice of a zookeeper startles you both, almost causing you to drop your phone in the midst of it all, "You can't be in here!" They shout.
Without any hesistation, you both are quick to make an escape from there and scramble back over the railing.
Back with the rest of the girls, its' dawned on them that they've one again lost you both as they begin to search around for you.
"Y/N?" Kim shouts aloud.
"Kyra?" Steph and Caitlin both call out for the younger Aussie girl.
"Come out, come out, wherever you are," Katie chimes in, jokingly.
Alessia exhales a sigh and shakes her head, "How can they wonder off again without us realising?" She wonders.
Steph looks around and spots you both near the kaolo enclosure, "Oh boy," She mutters to herself.
"You might really need to invest in that leash after all, you know, Kim," Vic chips in, amusedly.
"I'm staring to think so too," Kim remarks, exhaling a sigh.
"I knew you'd come around," Alessia jokes, overhearing the conversation.
"There you both are!" Kim strides over with a stern expression, taking a hold of your upper bicep again. "That's it, that's the final straw. I'm calling Leah!" She states, already having made her mind up.
"It's not just me, its' Kyra too," Your quick to throw the older girl under the bus in protest.
"Hey!" Kyra whines in protest.
"You're meant to be setting an example, Kyra!" Caitlin scolds the younger Australian girl.
"You're older than Y/N, Kyra. You should know better!" Steph chimes in.
You can't help but smirk in satisfaction that you're not being scolded for once, "Can we go see the kangaroos now?" You question, innocently.
"Don't look to happy yet, Y/N. I'm still calling Leah when we're back at the hotel and telling her how much trouble you've caused over the last 24 hours," Kim remarks, which causes you to furrow your eyebrows. "And until then, I want you right by my side for the remainder of time that we're here so I know where you are!"
"Sit," Kim orders straight away as you follow her into her hotel lobby and begins to dial Leahs' number on her phone as she paces the floor back and forth, "Come on, pick up, pick up," She murmers as she waits for the response on the other end of the line, despite the time that it might be.
You can't help but sit there and hope that Leah doesn't answer, because you really knew you'd done it now to be in trouble, yet again.
"Hey Kim!" Leahs' voice answers on the other end of the phone, connecting the video call to where it looked like she was in gym surrounded with the rest of the girls back in London.
"Hi, Kimmy!" Beth pops her head in the video call and waves at her Captain. "Hows' Australia?" She wonders.
"It's a disaster, girls! I can't take it anymore!" Kim tells them frantically.
Leah looks immediately concerned as her eyebrows knit together, "Whoa, what's the matter?" She asks, confused.
"You look like you're about to have a nervous breakdown there, Kimmy," Beth jokes, seeing the exasperated look on the older women's face. "What's up?" She asks.
"Y/N and Kyra! Between them, they're both driving me insane!" Your Captain admits out loud, and you try to slump down in your seat to try and hide from the telling off that you know is iminant when Leah finds out what's been going on.
By this point, all the girls' in the gym have decided to surround Leahs' phone to find out about yours and Kyra's antics.
"Uh oh," Viv murmers, shaking her head. "What've they done?" She asks.
"I think its' more like what haven't they done," Beth jokes, trying to keep the mood light in the room.
Kim shakes her head and settles on the bed, trying to keep her attention between you and the phone call, "Leah, its' like Y/N is out to be a complete menace this trip," She pauses as she glances at you to make sure you're not doing anything you shouldn't be. "Together they've done nothing but cause trouble, from switching everyones' boots during training and putting pickle juice in the water bottles, and causing trouble on the plane with their pranks and don't even get me started about the airport either!"
"Wait, someone actually drank the pickle juice?" Manu looks considerably confused at the mention of the pickle juice in patricular.
"That doesn't sound good," Stina comments, laughing.
Laia smirks in amusement, "I can't believe it," She states.
"What happened at the airport?" Lia asks, curiously.
"Well lets' just say that Y/N wanted to go over and pet the friendly dogs," Kim remarks sarcastically, shaking her head.
Beth snorts in realisation, "The friendly dogs? You mean the patrol dogs-- Oh dear," She shakes her head in utter disbelief.
"I feel like I'm at my wits end with them both. We couldn't even go the zoo without them wandering off and getting into trouble, Alessia even suggested that I get a leash for Y/N and I'm half tempted!" Kim rambles to them over the phone, ready to pull her hair out after dealing with both you and Kyra for the last god-knows how many hours.
"I knew I should've come on this trip, Y/N's always a handful, but this sounds like its' too much," Leah exhales a sigh and bites her bottom lip. "Is she there with you now?" She asks.
"Shes' right here," Kim nods in agreement with the blonde, panning the camera to face you.
"Hi Leah," You wave innocently at the blonde, hoping that she'll go easier on you.
It's needless to say that the blonde looks that impressed.
"Where's Kyra?" Viv questions, arching an eyebrow as she doesn't spot your counter part in the room.
"With Steph and Caitlin, I needed to seperate the pair of them. They're talking to her about this, but feel free to call in as well," Kim tells the Dutch.
"I'll call her afterwards. Can't her go anywhere unsupervised," Viv states, shaking her head in disappointment.
"You're doing great, Kimmy. Just a few more days!" Beth chimes in, trying to keep your Captain in high spirits. "Hang in there!"
Kim shakes her head in protest, "I'm never babysitting again! I'm gonna need a holiday after this-- I'm getting grey hair! I thought Y/N was bad on her own, but she's even worse when Kyra's with her!" She exclaims to the girls.
Leah exhales a sigh, feeling for the older women as she pinches the bridge of her nose, "Right, okay. Put Y/N on Kim. Maybe I can get through to her," You can tell that the blondes' trying to remain calm and collective, but she feels annoyed at your behaviour still.
"Please do," Kim murmers, feeling relieved as she turns to look in your direction. "Y/N, come and talk to Leah!" She calls over.
"Uh no, no... I'm alright actually, I think I'll just--" You try and back out of talking to her, not ready for the confronation from the blonde.
"Over here, Y/F/N!" You hear Leah call you out directly and you inwardly curse, having no choice but to do as your told for once, waiting to speak again when you were in front of the camera, "What the hell are you playing at, kid?" She cuts straight to the point with a tone of voice, which makes you want to shrink onto the floor.
"Nothing, I'm just having a bit of fun..." You try and come across as innocent, hopeful that it'll cut out some of the lecture, "Hows' London? I miss you!" You add.
"Cut the bullshit, Y/N," Leah scoffs and shakes her head. "Listen, just because I'm not there doesn't mean that you can still get away with stuff like this, yeah? I trusted you to go on this trip, you have a responsiblity to set an example, there's girls there younger than you and this is the way you act-- It needs to stop!"
There's something about her scolding that scares you, but you're not too sure about what it is yet. Maybe its' the firm scary facial expression, or the way her words' are just straight to the point, something makes you fear the blonde.
Maybe its' the fact that shes' your hero, she used to be the one youd' look up to and aspire to be like, so to be letting her down seems like the wrong thing to do right now.
Despite your inital fear, you still can't help but act like a troublemaker.
"I don't see what the big deal is though? I'm just having fun. It's harmless, Le," You shrug your shoulders and bite her lip.
Leahs' look continues to be firm, "Enough, Y/N. You promised you would be good and if you keep on causing trouble like you are then I'm going to take away your sweet privledges for a month," She threatens you, which just seems out right criminal. "And if you make Kims' job any harder, then I'll personally make sure you're on a leash next time."
"A... A month without sweets? And a leash?" Your eyes' widen in realisation that maybe you really do need to sharpen up on your behaviour, with the threat of no sweets on the table, you need to actually do as your told now.
"Yes. A whole month without sweets and a leash. Do you understand?" Leah continues with her firm words.
Surely she's just bluffing? Like she'd actually do that, you think.
"You can't do that," You whine in protest.
"I can and I will, because as long as you live under my roof, then you follow my rules," The blonde warns you, firmly. "Do you understand?"
"But Le, that's... that's not fair!" You still can't help but whine.
"Oh this is better than reality TV," Beth chimes in from the side of the camera, where the rest of the girls are still crowded around the phone.
"Beth," Lia nudges the blonde and rolls her eyes.
"What? It's true!" Beth exclaims, shrugging her shoulders.
"It's completely fair, Y/N. I want you to have fun out there in Melbourne with the girls, but not at the expense of the every one," Leah still stands firm on her words. "Behave yourself, or there will be concequences!"
"Fine, I'll try and be good," You sigh dramatically.
"That's all I'm asking for, please," The blonde softens slightly and nods. "I'll check in with Kim later to see how you're doing. Be good, alright?" She tells you.
"Yeah, I will," You reluctantly agree with the blonde, "Now can you go and give Kyra the same lecture, cos' its' not fair if I just get in trouble for this!"
"Oh don't worry, kid. Vivs' already on that one," Beth jokes, panning the camera around to where Vivs' stood off on the other side of the room giving a lecture through the phone to Kyra to where you can even hear the tailend of the conversation. "Having fun at whos' expense? That is no way to act!"
You can't but giggle and shrug your shoulders, "Okay well that makes me feel better at least," You murmer as you wave to the rest of the girls and pass the phone back to Kim.
Leah shakes her head in amusement at your care-free attitude, "Hang in there, Kim. She'll be better now, but if she gives you any more trouble then call me, alright?" She reassures her Captain,
"You got it. Thanks, Leah. I appreciate you talk to her," Kim smiles in agreement, bidding their goodbyes and ending the phone call. "Right, you. How about we go and find the rest of the girls?" She makes the suggestion.
"Yeah, I wanna go and find out how bad of a lecture Kyra got," You smirk mischeviously at your Captain before you both exit the lobby in search for your troublemaker partner. "Race you to the lifts! Last one there's a rotten egg!" You add.
© scribblesofagoonerr
#woso x reader#woso fanfics#arsenal x reader#woso imagine#woso one shot#arsenal women x reader#arsenal wfc x reader#scribblesofagoonerr#kim little x reader#kyracooneycross x reader#leah williamson x reader
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What are you favorite things about Dickkory?
Please and Thank You☺️
SO. MANY. THINGS!!!
Where do I start?!
Their freedom
Their dedication
Their dynamic
Ok so my favorite thing - well one of three favorite things - about Dick and Kory is that they just let each other be who they are.
What I mean is Dick never tells Kori she has to look a certain way, act a certain way, or talk a certain way. Obviously he's going to stop her from killing people but he loves her for who she is.
Secret Origins (1986) Issue #13
This means the WORLD to me because EVERYONE loves Kori for her body canonically. Like every single guy is just so turned on by her looks but for Dick that doesn't matter. He loves her wholely and purely. I'm tearing up a little by how much respect he gives her.
The New Titans (1988) Issue #71
You have no idea how happy his words make me. He never ever EVER blames Kori for the way she dresses or restricts her in any fashion. He's always extremely supportive of her. If she wants to do modeling? He's all for it. If she wants to go dancing? He's right there with her. She wants to try something new? He's helping her. He is SUCH a supportive boyfriend in everything she does. The killing is still off-limits ofcourse but everything else he loves her so much. He loves her for who she is not how she looks.
The New Titans (1988) Issue #71
He NEVER puts her down. And she never puts him down. They're supportive. And this I can appreciate even more because some of Dick's other love interests have it out for him. They get some type of power play about digging open his insecurities and throwing his faults in his face but not her. He's aware of his own faults, he doesn't need that to be used as a weapon against him like some more modern love interests do. Kori's understanding and loving and in response to that Dick treats her like a queen.
That's the first reason. The second reason is they help each other.
Dick can be difficult to deal with because he locks his emotions away. When he feels stressed he isolates himself because he doesn't want to talk to anyone about how he's feeling. But Kori? She doesn't resent him for that. She actually patiently tries to get him to open up. She's understanding and loving of him and his situation. I love them because when things get hard they don't just abandon each other, move on, and then get back together again after they've solved their own problems alone - no. They work hard to work through it together.
The New Teen Titans (1980) Issue #28
Dick and Kori come from vastly different cultures and have different beliefs so this causes problems. Here Dick's contemplating settling down with Kori because of how she kills people.
The New Teen Titans (1984) Issue #13
But in the face of it all, losing her is imporant to him that their difference in values
The New Teen Titans (1984) Issue #14
The New Teen Titans (1984) Issue #15
The thing about Dick and Kori having problems is that it's inspiring. Like you see all the troubles they faced, all the hardships, differences, and difficulties they went and it's amazing. Because Dick and Kori come from two different world. Literally. But they worked hard on their relationship. They worked through their differences because they loved each other so much that they wanted to stay together.
We could've have Dick and Kory forever if the real life Batman office writers hadn't broken off their wedding because they wanted to take Dick away from the Titans and give him to Batman. Do you realize what this means? If DC writers Dick hadn't been ripped away and Kori hadn't been disparaged by them, we would STILL be reading about Dick and Kory now. They would've been married and had kids by now.
But that brings me to my point - their love is amazing because they worked on the things that were different. It's awe-inspiring to love someone so much that you'll stay with them through anything.
Dickkory is my number one romantic pair for this reason. The problems that Dick has faced in his subsequent relationships is NOTHING compared to what he worked through with Kori. Which is why it frustrates me when a love interest abandons him at first stirrings of trouble because "hello? what you're getting now is cleaned up dick grayson. This is like playing a game on easy mode and still failing. If you can't be there for him when he has his act together, how could you ever be there for him when he's truly struggling?"
Going back to the scene at hand, Dick still stays with Kori but Kori is forced to marry another man at her father's orders and this is what breaks them apart. Because Kori is married to Ryand'r and Dick loves her. But despite this?
The New Teen Titans (1984) Issue #32
For Dick on the other hand it takes a case for him to understand -
The New Teen Titans (1984) Issue #34
But he gets it.
The New Teen Titans (1984) Issue #34
They come back stronger than ever.
Their love is the greatest romance of the ages for this reason. Your partner is your confidant. When the whole world turns against you, YOU need to be there by their side and they need to stand by you through everything. If you suddenly go from being rich to dirt poor, your parents abandon you, your friends betray you - the greatest love is standing with your partner through everything.
And Dick loves Kori for this too
Tales of the Teen Titans Issue #44
And that's what they embody and that's why I respect them.
Their relationship isn't a shattered vase glued together, their relationship is a muscle growth. You exercise, you stress the muscle and tear it. It causes you pain but that tear heals and the result is a stronger muscle and a healtier and fitter body. They're just so great.
So the second reason was their dedication to each other. The third reason is I love their dynamic!!
Kori is aggressive and strong but loving where as Dick is softer and strong but loving. It's like a girlboss and powerful malewife dynamic. Dick is phsycially shorter and smaller than Kori and Kori taller than him. They way she carries him around and touches him and holds him?!
The New Teen Titans (1984) Issue #15
The way that Dick gets so jealous and tries to show off for Kori only for his mount to slip off the cliff is so cute!! To everyone Dick is this cool, sexy, intelligent, perfect figure. The only time he gets childlishly jealous and reckless is when he's with Kori. And then having Kori bridal carry him after his mistake is just priceless.
But Dick doesn't begrudge Kori for this. What I love about Dick loving Kori is that he loves her for her power.
The Flash (1987) Issue #81
Dick thirsting for people who can pick him up and throw him around will always be my favorite part of him.
"I love that in a woman."
Yeah, Dick, we can hear that loud and clear. See it too.
LIKE LOOK AT THIS!!!-
Dark Knights of Steel Issue #7
With Kori there's no hesitation to give Dick affirmation.
Tales of the Teen Titans Issue #50
The New Teen Titans (1980) Issue #2
Tales of the Teen Titans Issue #49
Everyone in the entirety of DC knows that Dick is exceedingly pretty. Even villains regularly call him out on it. But it's SO nice to hear his girlfriend tell him that in such an honest and nice non-sleezy way. And that's my probably most favorite thing about them. This girlboss/malewife dynamic they have going on. They're equals but it's not the usual dynamic where the guy showers the girl with compliments and she's satisfied back. She tells him of her own volition how much she loves him and how beautiful he looks. She carries him around and is aggressive in their love. And I just love that so much.
Their love overall is just off the charts.
The New Teen Titans (1984) Issue #39
The New Teen Titans (1980) Issue #38
Teen Titans Spotlight (1988) Issue #19
The New Teen Titans (1984) Issue #10
#dick grayson#nightwing#koriand'r#starfire#dickkori#dickkory#cl confusedhummingbird asks#cl asks#thanks for the ask!
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Sterek fic recs: Fake Dating AU Edition
Because @oldefashioned requested a fake dating rec list, here it is. These are all very funny, as fake dating fics ought to be, so I hope you get a good laugh out of it.
1. Not Your Disney Romance by Wrennefer (Wrenegadeone)
After a long-forgotten agreement of an arranged marriage between Derek and the daughter of another pack's alpha resurfaces, Stiles takes it upon himself to become the most amazing fake fiancé that a clueless, desperate alpha werewolf could wish for.
Notes: Domestic pack, my beloved. Stiles and Derek are precious here, I LOVE THEM!! The visiting pack, not so much, but who cares about them?? It's all pretty lighthearted, all things considered. It's completed.
2. Electricity In the Contact by ladyblahblah
In which Derek has been invited to the Greater Pacific Northwest Alpha Symposium (that's not what it's called, Stiles, stop saying that), and showing up unattached would mean an arranged marriage. When the rest of the pack objects, he agrees to let Stiles come along to pose as his mate. Derek is reasonably sure that he's not going to make it out of this weekend alive.
Notes: Werewolf convention fics are so good! I actually haven't found all that many, considering how common a trope it is, and it's a tragedy because they're always so well done! This one is no exception, and the mini-world building is also great! It's completed.
3. can’t be hateful, gotta be grateful by HalfFizzbin
"Be cool, Dad, we've decided to con Grandma."
(Or, the one where the Stilinski men drag Derek to Thanksgiving dinner at Grandma's and she gets the right wrong idea.)
Notes: this one is just *cheff´s kiss* wonderful! It's all pretty domestic and the humor is on point. College student Stiles and the Sheriff are strong armed into spending Thanksgiving with Stiles' grandma, and they find nothing better than to bring Derek with them. Pining and misunderstandings ensue and thus comes the fake dating. It's completed.
4. Gravity’s Got Nothing on You by zosofi
“Three weeks,” Derek says.
“Still don’t want to,” Stiles says.
“I’ll pay you,” Derek says, and that… that has Stiles interested. Alf’s Antique’s may be a great job, but it’s not a high-paying job, and half of Stiles’s tuition is coming from financial aid, so…
“How much,” Stiles asks, “are we talking here? Because I know your family, dude. And it’ll be kind of awkward after.“
“My family thinks you’re some sort of fucking gift to the world,” Derek seethes, like he’s jealous, “they’ll probably be pissed at me when we break it off, so don’t worry about that. Five hundred bucks.”
“A thousand,” Stiles says, because screw ethics. Also, the Hale family is loaded. Derek can deal.
Notes: this had such a chokehold on me when I first read it. Absolutely wonderful. Enemies to lovers?? Maybe. Assholes to assholes-in-love, is a better descriptor. There's werewolves, and magic, and it's awesome! It's completed.
5. He’s Not Mine by Sonnee
Derek comes home to find an abandoned werebaby on his front porch and Stiles volunteers to help him out. Surprisingly, that is just the beginning of his problems.
Notes: again, it's all very domestic, like most fake dating fics ought to be. It's a kid fic, Sterek are mates, we have all the love. Not much else I can think to add... it's completed.
6. Real life isn’t a movie (life doesn’t make narrative sense) by dearericbittle (dutchmoxie)
Somehow accidentally insulting a hot guy in a coffee shop leads to pretending to be his boyfriend in front of a house full of werewolves. Stiles Stilinski is living his best life and making the most of his Hallmark movie moment.
Notes: this one had me cracking up because it's so funny! Stiles is living his best life, for real. Derek... suffers. But it's okay, because he gets a boyfriend out of this whole thing! They are disgustingly sweet in that assholish way they have. It's completed.
7. You look like my next mistake by Vendelin
“So, are you dating someone new? Someone who doesn’t mind that you’re frigid?” Kate cocks her head to the side, smiling as though she just asked him about where he bought his shoes.
His entire body sighs in defeat as his shoulders grow square. Just as he opens his mouth, someone comes up to stand beside him, snaking an arm around his shoulders. When he glances to his side, expecting to see Isaac, his brain seems to malfunction. Because it isn’t Isaac. It’s Stiles Stilinski, the lacrosse talent of the year, a senior who Derek has seen multiple times from far away, but never ever talked to.
In which Derek is a nerd jock, and Stiles is a frat guy, and Derek falls for him even though he knows he shouldn't.
Notes: this one had me HOWLING it's so good!! Frat boy Stiles, my beloved. It's technically not fake dating because it turns into an actual relationship pretty quickly, but it starts as fake dating so I'll take it. Stiles is an absolute sweetheart in this one, I love him! And Derek is shy, and insecure, but he's so great, and everyone gets a happy ending except Kate, which is always a good thing. It's completed.
8. All’s Fair In Orgasms and War by bleepobleep
AVN BREAKING NEWS-- DIAMOND VISTA RIDGE BREAKS HIS CONTRACT WITH HALE HOUSE
"We haven't seen much of our favorite rock hard stud from Hale House ever since that indie twink dethroned him as champion in Orgasm Wars, but it's just been confirmed that Diamond will no longer be working for the legendary studio famous for producing some of our favorite werewolf-on-human works. Don't fret, Diamond fans, it looks like he's been spotted cozying up to True Alpha Studios! Apparently he couldn't get enough of that one human and then followed him home. Could it be true love? Keep your eye on this studio-- us at AVN think we're about to get a lot more of Diamond in a very new way!"
~
The one in which (almost) everyone is a porn star, and Derek just wants to curl up with his fluffy blanket and watch the Hallmark channel, but work and falling in love gets in the way.
Notes: okay but is this fake dating? Maaaaaybe. It's kinda complicated. Basically everyone here is a porn star and the pack has this studio where they cater to werewolves and have a whole thing about established relationships, which is where the fake dating comes up. It's surprisingly very fluffy, considering this is a porn au, and Derek is the softest goober in this one. Stiles is completely enamoured. It's completed.
9. Wanted from the You Are series by Asterekmess (Livinginfiction)
With the Hale pack finally settled and safe, it only makes sense that something would happen to screw it all up. To top it all off, Stiles has to pretend to be Derek's mate, or face a pack of angry Alphas. He's doomed.
Notes: Alright so this series is wonderful. The world building done for the Alpha pack is also great, and that's the center of the second part (which has the fake dating). I do recommend reading the first part before jumping on to Wanted because it is a direct continuation. Also, it's an amazing au! It's completed.
10. For Love is Not Ours to Command by weathervaanes
Where Derek's skills at thinking on his feet mean that he and Stiles have to act. For the sake of Stiles' dad, of course, for the sake of the pack. No personal interest interference at all, whatsoever. Right.
-0-
“Why does my dad say that you and your boyfriend are a bad influence on me?”
“What?”
“Yeah, what boyfriend? Dude, you are not allowed to not tell me crap like this. You didn't think I'd like be a douchebag or something. Right?”
“No, wait, what? I have no boyfriend.”
“He says you were with him at the police station.”
Stiles blinks. “Uhm. Oh shit.”
Notes: Stiles just wanted to find dirt on Raphael McCall to blackmail him. Somehow, he got himself a whole ass boyfriend. It's complicated. That's it, that's the fic. It's completed.
11. Stiles Stilinski, Boyfriend Extraordinaire by MareLoup
“Beacon County Sheriff's Department, this is deputy Mahealani speaking.”
“Oh thank god!”
“Stiles?”
“I, uh, I need some advice.”
“Advice?”
“Yeah. So, hypothetically, say you met your boyfriend’s mother and sister for the first time ever. Completely by accident. In the grocery store. And they convinced you to help them make a dinner to surprise aforementioned boyfriend when he got home after work. What would you do?”
Danny paused, and then, “Stiles, you don’t have a boyfriend.”
“That’s not the point! And I said hypothetically.”
“Stiles...what are you doing right now?”
***
Stiles never imagined he’d be in Derek’s kitchen cooking a surprise dinner with Derek’s family while they waited for Derek to get home from work.
Partly because their visit was a complete surprise.
But mostly because Stiles didn’t have a boyfriend.
Or even know who Derek was.
But he’d already come this far and Papa didn’t raise no quitter!
Notes: this is to date one of my favorite Sterek fics. I laughed so much while reading this, I'm not even joking. The whole thing is a comedy of errors gone right. Stiles somehow finds himself pretending to be Derek's boyfriend, only he has no idea who Derek even is and why his family knows Stiles at all. His inner monologue is one of the funniest I've read, and his slow descent into (good natured) madness is wonderful. It's completed.
12. Love Like An Ache In The Jaw by Anonymous
“So let me get this straight,” The sheriff massages his temples, “You found a magic book, and performed a magic spell that has backfired and magically bound you to Derek Hale, rendering you both in agony if you’re not in the same room.”
Derek and Stiles exchange a look.
“Um. Yes.” Stiles says sheepishly.
“Right. And just to be clear, when we’re talking agony… exactly how agonizing is the agony?”
Derek clears his throat.
“Sir, I’ve had a pole stabbed through my chest and held there for an hour. This was… similar.”
-
In which boredom, magic and dumbassery come together to produce a Christmas miracle slash disaster. Oh, and Stiles' grandmother who knows absolutely nothing about the supernatural happens to be in town. Oops.
Notes: another hilarious one. Stiles does Stiles things and ends up magically bound to Derek. No one is amused except Stiles' grandmother, who's having the time of her life, here. It's completed!
#fake dating#fake dating aus are great#and sterek has this natural chemistry that makes it even better#derek hale#stiles stilinski#fic recs#fic rec#sterek#sterek fic recs#eternal sterek#eternalsterek#teen wolf#ao3
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red thread || jake “hangman” seresin
summary: fate has a funny way of bringing people together, and it’s made no exception for you and hangman. you’ve grown up together; there's not a day that goes by in which you aren't glued to each others' sides. as kids, you promised each other that if you were still single at 30 you'd get married. but when that day finally arrives, you wonder just how much things will change.
words: ~2.3k
warnings: nothing. unless you’re like me and commitment scares you, then yeah lmao. hangman is an absolute gentleman in this though :) biggest TW is my writing...sorry. idk what happened. some slight mentions of angst and injury but nothing graphic :)
a/n: mannn my writing has gone downhill idk how yall other talented writers do it. i wish i could write that well 😭but, i’m proud of this...plotwise, at least! (my fics are doing so bad for some reason while everyone else seems to be blowing up??? idk) btw, the first part of this fic takes place two years before tgm
It was 1:30 a.m, and you couldn’t fall asleep.
It seemed that Hangman had the same idea as you as he told you to meet him outside the Hard Deck in five. The coastal air and Jake Seresin was the perfect combination to help you unwind, so of course you said yes.
“There she is,” he grinned as he offered a helping hand. “My favorite fellow insomniac.”
“Nightmares keep you up, Jake?” you teased. “What’s the matter this time?”
“Same as you. Don’t feel like sleeping yet,” Hangman answered. “Can you believe it? We’re awake, and Fanboy and Payback aren’t.”
“Now that’s a first,” you laughed. “Thought I’d never live to see that day, but here we are.”
“We’re making history day by day.”
“You know…sometimes,” you breathed out as you rested your head on his shoulder, “I wonder what it’d be like if we never met.”
“Didn’t you ask that same question fifteen years ago?”
“We were much younger back then. It’s different now.”
“Well, then…I don’t like to imagine it.”
Your brows furrowed. “Why not?”
“It’d be weird. You’ve always been a big part of my life, so to think you almost could’ve not been in it…it’s weird. Uncomfortable, even.”
“Yeah, it is weird…” your voice trailed off as you lingered on the thought. You’ve always done everything together. How different would your lives be now if you hadn’t become friends; hadn’t stayed in touch through college? “But don’t be sad, because I don’t plan on leaving anytime soon.”
Hangman gave you a light punch in the arm. “I’m not complaining.”
“Good.”
“You know, Y/N…there’s one more thing.”
“Uh oh.”
“Hear me out,” he started. “Remember that deal we made when we were kids?”
“The one about helping each other bury a body if needed, or getting married?”
“The second one…I thought the first was a given since the day we met. That’s something all friends are supposed to do for each other, right? Bury bodies, hide their trails…all that good stuff.”
“What about the second one?”
“We’re turning 30 soon,” he recounted. Any and all traces of cockiness were completely wiped off his face. “And we said that if we’re both still single by the time our 30th birthdays roll around, we’d get married.”
You smiled as you revisited the memory: wide-eyed and curious, and so blissfully unaware with the only worry in the world was whether you’d grow up together or not. “You still remembered all that?”
“Of course I did. You still in, or what?”
“I guess so…I mean, what else do I have to lose?”
The two of you fall back into your comfortable silence, and he wraps you up into his arms.
TWO YEARS LATER
As usual, the base is busy and rather chaotic: day after day you’re busy filing reports and training. This causes you to become prone to forgetting the littler things in your life, so you assign Bob to keep track of them for you. He had the best memory of anyone you knew—that man kept mental notes of everything.
“What do I have to do today, Floyd? Any events…”
“Uhhh…” Bob thought for a moment as you took a long drink of water. “Dinner with Phoenix. Do laundry. Don’t get yelled at by Cyclone for the 19th time (You’re only one point behind Bradshaw, he’s at 20). Grocery shopping. And most importantly…yours’ and Hangman’s birthday.”
“Oh, shit, I completely forgot,” you swore under your breath. “How could I forget…”
“You have some time, so don’t worry. Five days.”
“Only five days?” your eyes widened. “I have to run through four more simulations over the next two. I can’t plan everything in the remaining three.”
“If you pay Garcia in Doordash deliveries, he’ll help out. You know he minored in art.”
“That’s…actually not a bad idea.”
After you finish your final exercise that week, you pass out, but luckily, Hangman’s right there to catch you so you don’t get a concussion. Bless that man—he always seemed to be around wherever you went and you were very grateful for it.
You were delirious and couldn’t walk straight, so as much as you claimed you were okay, he wouldn’t believe you.
“I’m taking you home because you’re in no condition to be wandering around by yourself. The birthday planning can wait. You’ve tired yourself out enough as it is and you don’t want to make things worse.” So you let him help you get into his car, then drive you home and lead you inside. Then, he forced you to go upstairs to take a hot shower and relax while he cooked up dinner for you.
Though Hangman admired your determined spirit, it scared the hell out of him because you wouldn’t know when to stop yourself.
“I got that from you though! Who’s the one I spend the most time around?” you’d claim in response to that argument. You weren’t wrong—it was a quality you picked up from him many years ago.
You woke up the next morning to the smell of French toast and jam, which lessens the tension in your shoulders right away. Amidst the early morning light drifting through the windows he stands out like a priceless work of art in a museum. You struggle to tear your eyes off him.
Rubbing the sleepiness from your eyes, you rested your chin on his shoulder and exhaled. “Hey.”
“Morning. You sleep okay? How’s that headache of yours?”
“I’m alright.” You closed your eyes and inhaled the sweet scent of cinnamon sugar. “This smells nice.”
If Hangman was tired, you couldn’t tell. “Woke up at 6:30 to relearn the recipe for you. It’s been a while, it took three burnt batches to get the hang of things.”
“You woke up an hour early to cook for me?”
“Why else? Of course I did,” he stated matter-of-factly.
You sat down at the kitchen island together and ate your breakfast in silence. Something about this moment feels more domestic than all the others you’ve shared in the past, and you can’t help but smile. You wouldn’t mind spending the rest of eternity like this...
“Y/N, there’s some honey on your chin.”
You blinked, trying to find it. “Where?”
“Hold on a sec.” Hangman took his napkin and rubbed gently at the corner of your lip to wipe it off. For a brief moment, you could feel his warm breath fanning across your face. You stayed as still as possible. “There.”
If anyone looked in from the outside, it was another simple day in the life of a longtime couple. But for you and Jake, it’s always been like this. Showing up at each others’ place wasn’t unusual for either of you; if anything, it was quite normal.
“...Thanks.”
“Yeah. You got any ideas in mind? For the big day.”
“Whatever you want is what I want.”
“Funny enough, that’s what I was about to tell you,” he replied.”
You locked eyes with each other and laughed. “We’ll figure it out. I’m sure we will.”
Less than three days until everything as you knew it would change forever...if you were being honest, you were absolutely terrified. What if he changed his mind and left you in the dust, all alone? You weren’t ready to face the cold truth.
Hangman offered a simple celebration: food and drinks at the Hard Deck with the crew, then some karaoke if you were up for it after. He starts it off by serenading you at the bar, reaching a hand out to you as he sang your favorite Billy Joel track. You let him lead you out to the dance floor and spin you around, and he’s equal parts addicting as he is entertaining.
Thirty candles, and you agree on blowing out fifteen each—somehow, by some miracle, you manage to do exactly that, and it’s perfect. Then Fanboy yells that he and Rooster want a rematch with you in Just Dance…so you go at it for two hours straight, until sweat is dripping down your face and your sweater grows hot.
You’re burnt out, and he can see the look in your eyes as you step aside to let Phoenix play. “You want to head out? There’s something I want to show you.”
You nod. “Okay.”
He gives Maverick a look, and the captain shoots him a subtle nod in return. He takes this as his signal to put his hand on the small of your back and lead you out the door.
You can’t help but laugh a little as you get outside. “Is this Mav’s motorcycle?”
“No…” Hangman shifts from foot to foot, feigning cluelessness.
“Did you steal it?”
“Of course not.”
“It’s his, isn’t it.”
“Look, he let me borrow it for the night. It’s not stealing if he says it’s okay…besides, he never noticed when I did steal from him last week—”
“What did you—do you even have a motorcycle license?”
“Got it a year ago. I thought, ‘maybe I’ll take my best girl on a ride someday, so who knows if it’ll come in handy’. So here we are now.”
“That’s very sweet.”
“Alright, now come on.” He swung his leg over the side and motioned for you to sit behind him. The cushion was not in fact, cushiony, and you found yourself growing colder by the second.
The bike burst forward without warning. You let out a small yelp and immediately wrapped your arms around Hangman’s waist—which was ridiculously firm…had he been working out more lately?—as you went speeding down the road.
“If I die, I’m gonna kill you and haunt you in your sleep,” you mumbled into the fabric of his jacket. “Even in death, I’ll stick to you always.”
“That sounds both morbid and weirdly romantic.”
“Shut up.”
Several minutes later you found yourselves by the cliffs, standing high over the ocean, and deja vu hits almost right away. After we go on this make up date, he had said, I’m going to find that guy who messed you up and mess him up. Then we’re going to go home, I’ll let you wear any of my sweatshirts you want, and we’ll watch true crime. One where someone like that jerk dies. Okay? Okay.
You’re miles away from Top Gun, miles away from your jet and your uniform and everything you’ve ever known, but you’ve never felt more at home than now. It’s in this moment in which you realize all you really need in the world is Jake, the sky above you, and the sea below you.
Out of the corner of your eye you noticed that he’s getting fidgety. He can’t stop stuffing his hands in and out of his pockets or running them through his hair—he’s restless. The action takes you by surprise a bit.
“Why are you all tensed up?” you questioned. “It’s just me and a nice sunset. We’ve done things like this many times.”
“But it’s not just you and a sunset,” he explained. “I’m supposed to be asking you the most important question of our lives. That’s a big deal, sweetheart.”
Your heart spluttered to a stop. “Are you…”
“Let me finish,” Jake cut in. “If you could be quiet for a few minutes…that would help. I’m nervous.”
“Jake Seresin, nervous?” you teased. “That’s a first.”
He smiled and shook his head. “Give me a break.”
“Okay, okay. I’ll be nice…for now.”
“I haven’t slept at all in the past week. I went to eleven different jewelry stores around San Diego but nothing seemed to scream ‘Y/N’. So, I decided to take a trip out of state.” He cleared his throat, and reached into his jacket pocket. You saw his hand shake as he did so. “Out of the country. That mini mission I went on while you were training? I was in Canada. Victoria, to be specific. Maverick and Rooster came along to help out.”
Now in his hand was a small velvet box, and inside was the most breathtaking ring you’d ever seen. “Diamond and ruby. They don’t sell plain red strings for rings…so I had them design this. The red thread of fate…the one that brought you into my life. We were kids when we promised to spend our lives together, if circumstances permitted. And I know we might’ve been young, but I’d be lying if I said I could imagine myself with someone that wasn’t you. There was a part of me that wished you wouldn’t find anyone before this day came along. It’s you, Y/N. It always has been.
“I’m not going to get down on one knee. I’m not going to give you a long, cheesy speech about divine power and soulmates. But I’m going to tell you this: you’re my forever, and I want to spend the rest of my life with you. It’s getting cold out so I’ll cut to the chase: what I’m saying here is that I’m asking you to marry me.”
The world fell silent as you replied with a shaky nod, holding out a trembling hand as Jake slid the golden band onto your ring finger. Neither of you made a sound, and you swore you felt time stop and the ground crack wide open beneath your feet.
tags, including those who may be interested: @callsignbarb @sarcastic-sourwolf @totomoshi @sebastianstangirl01 @dilfsandtherapy @purelyfiction @yeehawnana @lunamoonbby @hazelgirl355 @multifandom-fangirl4 @paintballkid711 @lyn-lc @spawn0fsatan @milestomaverick @teacactusworld @newlibrary @cherry-waved @ellabellabus07 @criminalyetminimal @whatlovegattado @thisismypointofview @ice-mans-world @burnedbrisket @fangirlinc @knowledgefulbutterfly @levis-butterfingers @lunamooncole @coastingline @chaoticassidy @hbstre @fantasias-creativebubble @light-the-moon @winteryoungie @aie1840 @midnightdevotion @julia-marshal @anya7802 @bittergomez @and-claudia @cosm1cfae @tallrock35 @uwiuwi @elenavampire21 @aerangi @hoedameronsworld @whotfatemywaffles @littlebadariell
#top gun#top gun: maverick#glen powell#top gun fic#jake seresin#jake hangman seresin#jake seresin x reader#hangman x reader#jake seresin fluff#hangman seresin#hangman fic#top gun fanfic#hangman x you#top gun maverick fanfiction#jake seresin x you#illustration
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Y/N goes into labour at Gazebo Fest with Jack on stage 👶🏻
18+ only - Mature Themes🚨
“Ok baby I hope you’re ok.” Jack said as he kissed you and grabbed his keys heading out the door to head to Gazebo Fest sound check in the heat of a May Kentucky afternoon.
“Will you please go? Grandpa is coming to pick me up later. We’ll be in the VIP section so gramps is out of the way. I know this is your first festival you’re running for the city and I’m about to deliver this baby at any moment but everything is going to be fine.” You went in for a deeper kiss as you couldn’t get enough of your husband’s pillowy perfect heart shaped lips. Your favourite thing to do was suck on his juicy bottom lip just to remind him of who’s boss.
“Mmmmm don’t start ok, I’m going to be late. I don’t know how you manage to heighten my anxiety and calm me down at the same time.” Jack said to you half wanting to take you into the bedroom but his heart was beating fast as he had his mind on the 2 days coming up of the whole production of the festival. It was all on him to make it a success.
As planned Grandpa came to get you and promised he wouldn’t go and try to get too close to the action. He insisted on going and Jack had a hard time talking him out of things. Now that you were pregnant it was more him keeping an eye on you.
“Are you comfortable Y/N? Let me know if you need anything” Grandpa said as you took your seats. He was forever the gentleman and it was obvious where Jack got it from.
“I’m fine, just feeling the pressure is all” you said as you rubbed your belly “the baby is sitter lower.”
“Oh I know it’s just a matter of time. We’re all very excited. I have big plans for this little one. Maybe they’ll like car sales and I can buy them a dealership.” He said proudly.
“Maybe Grandpa.” You said with a giggle. Everyone was putting their 2 cents in as to what the first grandchild from Jack would be. Jack and you agreed you would let your child decide what they want. Jack said if they want to act or rap he wasn’t going to stand in the way, but was maybe hoping for a doctor or professor.
The opening acts were done and it was time for the big moment for the King of Kentucky to take the stage. You got as excited as any fan and were disappointed you weren’t allowed to watch from the side of the stage as usual but Jack wanted you out of harms way and away from the music being too loud. In the box they catered to your every need, but you would rather be hanging out around the stage drinking ice cold Modelo in the heat.
It was evening now and you didn’t want to miss Jack but it was too long of a day for you now. You asked if there was someway to lay down and Grandpa was concerned. “We can go home” he suggested kindly.
“No I….I don’t want to miss Jack.” You said wincing a bit from the baby kicking hard.
“Y/N you don’t look good.” Grandpa said honestly and concerned.
“That’s enough for you for the day. There’s plenty other times for you to see Jack.” He insisted.
“But there’s no…ouch!” You paused and winced. This felt different. It was a sharper pain you hadn’t felt before. “There’s no other first….oh!” It came again “No other first Gazebo Fest.” You finally finished saying in between wincing and flinching from sharp pains you were starting to feel in waves.
“Get over here! She’s going into labour, I need help!” Grandpa said having no idea what to do. He thought he could handle it but seeing you in such pain was too much for him. He had grown so close to you it was hard for him and he had never seen a baby born in his life. In the days his wife had babies husbands weren’t allowed in the room.
“I got this don’t worry.” Sunni said who was hanging around in the vicinity. He didn’t want to step on Grandpa’s toes who claimed territory over being beside you, but he knew if shit went down he was the only other one in Jack’s circle that could help. He had seen his sister’s kids born in her home birth and helped out during the whole ordeal.
“You got this ok?” Sunni said rubbing your back “breathe like this” he demonstrated taking a deep breath in for a count of 3 and slowly letting it out. You started to feel more in control, but the contractions were speeding up.
An ambulance was on the way and venue security was making sure the whole area was blocked off for privacy. They found a cot for you to lay on as you felt weak. Jack continued to spit bars of such hits as Nail Tech, and They Don’t Love It while you started to cry out in pain holding Sunni’s hand tight as he guided you in what to do. He advised people to not call Jack but in an open air festival people saw a commotion in your section and cell phone started coming out like crazy.
Finally the ambulance got there and gently moved you onto the stretcher. Jack saw ambulance lights in the distance and paused the show as he always did concerned about the crowd. He hadn’t yet got the news while performing that his baby was coming.
“Everyone please take one step back. An ambulance is here please if someone needs help clear the area and make sure everyone around you is safe.” He said trying to keep the crowd calm. Just then Urban came up on the stage and whispered in Jack’s ear.
“What the fuck??” He said to Urban amplified by the mic near his mouth. “She said what? Finish my set? Is she fucking crazy?”
In between contractions you sent a message for Jack to finish his set and not leave to come to the hospital. There was too much riding on Gazebo Fest for him to not continue for the fans. In your mind this made perfect sense. Sunni was with you in the ambulance and Grandpa was following in his car. Grandpa had alerted the whole family who was headed to the hospital also.
“Y’all I gotta fucking go. I’m having a baby!” Jack screamed and everyone at the festival roared as Jack jumped down off the side and took off running. Urban, his security, and assistant had no choice but to take off and try to keep up with him. Kat his assistant was running behind him with the puppy who was barking with excitement. They located the black sprinter van and jumped in “How fucking fast can you go?” Jack asked the driver “I’m having a baby.” The driver looked at him confused. “No not me my wife I mean, fuck go!!” Jack said flustered.
It took about half an hour to get to the hospital and was the longest 30 minutes of Jack’s life. “K, I need to know where my wife is. I’m Jack Harlow and her name is Y/N Harlow.” Jack explained as he walked up to the counter out of breath.
“We know who you are Mr.Harlow. Please remain calm. Your wife is on the 12 floor in room 1204, she hasn’t delivered yet, but you’ll have to squeeze in. Your whole family is in there.” The front desk admin explained not too happy with about 6 people in the birthing room that wouldn’t take no for an answer.
Maggie was wiping your brown as you were in position. You had your hospital gown on and a large sheet over your bottom half. You were dilated and the baby’s head was crowning when Jack burst into the room. They managed to stop him long enough for him to put on a gown, wash his hands, and put gloves on.
The baby was coming fast. It had only been a few hours since your contractions started. Jack got there just in time. “Whoah baby! Look at you my superstar. You…oh…oh shit! I see the head!!! She’s coming!” Jack exclaimed and let out the secret you were having a girl. None of his family knew until he just blurted it out. The whole family cheered much to the doctor’s dismay and more people had showed up like Urban and 6 of Jack’s other friends.
“Ok everyone I know this is a big deal, but it’s a little tight in here can you please step outside and Mr. Harlow please contain yourself. It’s distracting. Baby is coming and we need to focus.”
“Yeah of course doc I got you.” Jack said “Ok y’all get da fuck out.” He said to everybody ushering them out of the room. I gotta catch my little soccer ball right quick here.”
“That’s not exactly what I meant Mr.Harlow but thank you for clearing the room. Now are you ready?” The doctor said motioning for Jack to crouch down and get in position to catch the baby.
“Doc I said I got you. You don’t even need to be here for real. I got this.” Jack said confidently.
You were so happy to see him. It was getting chaotic and Jack being him brought you some peace and made you laugh which took your mind off some of the pain.
“You look good down there baby as usual, don’t trip, ain’t no thang, just need a few more pushes and she’s out.” Jack said coaching you in his own way.
“Jack don’t make me laugh right now.” You begged breathlessly holding Maggie’s hand and trying to listen to the nurse telling you when to push, breathe, and stop. He was being completely serious and didn’t get how much he was irritating the doctor.
“Ok Mrs. Harlow bear down and give a big push. This is it.” The nurse said. “Mr. Harlow get ready. Hold your hands like this. Here’s your clamp and scissors.” She said handing everything over to Jack who wasn’t ready for what everything entailed in this moment. His whole world was about to change and it hit him like a ton of bricks.
“Welp you got this so I can go.” The doctor joked with Jack patting him on the back and heading for the door.
“Ah hell naw doc, I was just kidding please don’t go.” Jack begged.
“Uughhhh!!!!!” You screamed and bared down hard. The head came out and rest of the body just slipped out quickly. Jack caught his daughter filled with so many emotions he started to cry with joy. Guided by the doctor he clamped the umbilical cord and snipped it. It all happened so fast.
“Mr. Harlow you want to bring your daughter over and clean her off for mom?” The nurse asked as Jack was just stunned staring at her in his arms. Her tiny body was shaking with loud crying.
“Got good lungs on her baby.” Jack said to you staring at her and continuing to hold her.
“Jack give Y/N the baby.” Maggie said “She needs to eat and bond right away…Jackman…did you hear me?”
“Jack give me my dang baby.” You said prying her away as he was fixated on her. She latched on immediately and sucked happily resting on your tummy. She was beautiful with fine brown curls, olive complexion, and grey/hazel eyes she hadn’t fully opened yet. Jack saw a dimple like his when she yawned and he lost his mind. You were exhausted and had nothing left. Jack kissed you on the forehead and pulled back the curtain covering the glass doors.
About 20 people were waiting from outside the room. It was the most famous birth the hospital had ever had. They all would have been front row for the event had they been allowed.
“Don’t y’all got nothing better to do?” Jack teased them. “Y’all act like there ain’t a festival going on. We’ll have y’all over soon. Thanks for coming I love y’all so much but we getting on these good people last nerves so go on y’all.”
“Just one peak.” Phil said anxiously
“No come on Phil.” Said Ismail pulling him away
“Baby, you ready cuz they all crazy.” Jack said about all your family and friends
“And my family hasn’t come yet.” You said rolling your eyes. They had a ways to travel from out of state but when your mother and Grandmother and aunties got there, it was going to be something else. Your daughter had no shortage of love.
“Did you see the way I cut the cord like a boss” Jack bragged.
“Hunny please.” Maggie said “You did nothing compared to Y/N.”
“Ok fair but I executed perfectly. She has a perfect lil belly button.” He beamed with pride.
“Jack.” You said faintly as you were now just too weak and falling asleep ready to go to your room and rest.
“Yes baby?” He said “You want me to take her so you can rest. I get it give her to me.” Jack said eagerly
“No, I want you to go, like can you leave please?” You said half smiling “like how turnt can you be right now. Just looking at you is making me tired.”
“Ok. I’ll chill out but let me take her please.” He said reaching down to scoop her up.
“Hunny hold her like this.” Maggie said “hold her head properly.”
“Mom I got it.” Jack said defensively
This was just the beginning of motherhood as Mrs.Harlow.
@okaaay-mice @itsyagirljaz @ride4harlow
#jack harlow#fanfic#jackman thomas harlow#romance#jack harlow fanfic#dramatic#jack harlow concepts#jack harlow x y/n#jack harlow x reader#Spotify
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Kinktober Special Part 9
Mo’s Kinktober Special
The Crew’s Whore (Part 9) (+18)
!!!!!!MINORS DNI!!!!
Summary: You are the former owner of the Grand Line’s most popular brothel. Your powerful fighting abilities got the attention of the captain of the Straw Hat Pirates. He had asked you to join their crew but what would you bring to the team? Your battle skills were hardly comparable to many of the other Straw Hats… but you actually had a great skill. Your years working as a high end escort had prepared you to become the private plaything for this pirate crew. You joined the Straw Hats as their personal sex toy.
Pairing: Eustass Kid x Fem!Reader
WC: 3000 LMAO
TWs: Kind of aggressive sex/degredation? Impact play. Degradation, name calling, angry sex, hate sex, p in v unprotected sex, spit play, edging, creampies, its SO much porn sorry
— —
“NO I WANT TO KICK HIS ASS BEFORE YOU!” Luffy shouted at the two other captains who stood around him, fuming.
“IF ANYONE IS KICKING ANYONE’S ASS IT’LL BE ME! I’m stronger than the two of you fuckheads combined!” The absolutely massive redhead decked out in leather and metal was looming over your captain, yelling.
“You’re both insufferable, we need to develop a plan!” The handsome yet reserved doctor pleaded with the two hotheads to figure out an actual strategy for their mission.
Somehow, three of the most dangerous pirate crews had been forced into an alliance and to no one’s surprise they couldn’t agree on a damn thing. You were at a table watching the argument unfold with your head in your hands propped up on your elbows. There was a large glass of white wine in front of you. If you had to watch this idiocy, you thought you’d at least try to enjoy it. You were flanked at the table by a giant man in what seemed like a hockey mask and a polar bear in an orange jumpsuit who were also watching the captains’ squabble.
The bear was the first to speak.
“I’m starting to think they might all be… stupid…”
“You fucking think?” You huff out while you take a sip of your wine. You set the glass back down on the table with a sigh. “This alliance is a disaster. Not Luffy’s worst idea by any stretch of the imagination… but still a disaster. I’m going to slam my head against this table as hard as I can. They’ll probably stop fighting long enough to come over and see if I’m okay.”
“Now that’s a stupid idea.” The masked man stated plainly.
“Watch out or I’ll tell them you did it and then they’ll have something new to argue about.” You quipped back.
The blonde man next to you sighed and tipped up the bottom of his mask to insert the top of the bottle of wine you were enjoying into his mouth and take several gulps.
“I don’t think we should risk concussion just to get them to shut up.” He spoke again and took another glug of wine. He put his mask back down. “As tempting as it may be.”
“Fine.” You finish your glass of wine and cup your hands around your mouth to amplify your voice in the direction of the quarreling captains. “Just pull your dicks out and compare lengths already!”
The shouting stopped immediately and three heads snapped in your direction. Kid and Law scowled at you.
“Oh, I don’t think that was…” The polar bear muttered softly.
“WHAT DID YOU SAY TO ME?” Captain Kid shouted as he stormed over to you at such a pace his coat was almost blown off his shoulders. Luffy and Law followed.
“Why did you need to see my dick, y/n? I’m kinda busy right now, but I’m sure Sanji is around here somewhere!” Luffy grins and laughs at you, oblivious to your innuendo. Law covered his face with his hand and sighed.
Kid slams his fists on the table before turning his head to your captain.
“You let your crew talk to people like this, Strawhat? Disgraceful and disgusting.” He spits as he turns back to you.
You smile up at the hulkingly large, angry man in front of you and bat your eyelashes.
“Aww don’t bully me, Kid, I’ll cum!” You tease with a fake pout.
Kid’s eyes blow totally wide and cranes his neck back in shock. Law brings his hand down to his mouth as he hides a snort-laugh. Kid is taken aback only for a moment as his expression turns wild and livid again.
“You think I’m even remotely interested in a pirate whore? I’ve had hundreds of skanks just like you, and you think you’re special?” Kid says through gritted teeth.
“She’s actually pretty good, Jaggy! Maybe you should lighten up and take her for awhile tonight! You’re free tonight, aren’t you, y/n?” Luffy beams at you.
“Hmmm I know Franky had some new toys he wanted to try, and Usopp and Robin were interested in watching… but I’m sure they’d have no problem rescheduling if Big Red wanted to take me for a spin.” You smirk as you casually pour yourself another glass of wine, forgetting that it probably had Hockey Mask’s backwash in it. This comment only made Kid’s face turn a deeper red.
“I am not going to take any of your sloppy seconds, Strawhat!” Kid yelled.
“Thirds, actually.” Law states in a deadpan manner. You smirk.
You hear the polar bear next to you gasp and bring his paws to his mouth.
“Captain! Goodness…” He whispered softly.
Kid seethes further.
“You’re nothing but a whore, a filthy free use slut. I wouldn’t stick my dick anywhere near you.” Kid remarks, obviously trying to strike a chord. You giggle. You had been a whore your whole life, it was hardly something you felt bad about being called. To you, it was simply a job description.
“So that’s what gets you going, huh? Calling girls names?” You grin up at the redhead.
“Careful…” You hear the masked blonde next to you whisper. Kid continues to glare at you.
“Is that what makes your little cock hard? How cute.” You go on, sipping from your wine glass. “Frankly you smell like scotch and pennies so I won’t be upset with your rejection, Captain Kid.” You emphasize his name sarcastically, still smiling.
You had obviously struck a nerve.
“You fucking bitch!” Kid screams at you.
“Captain, relax…” Hockey Mask pipes up louder from your side… but Kid continues.
“You have the audacity to call me little? I’m 6 foot 9 and you want to say I’m small? Use your brain here… or is that too hard for a bimbo like you?” He leans in and lowers his voice.
“I’ve seen men twice your size with cocks they can barely find, so I’m no stranger to a size discrepancy.” You state calmly as you look him up and down. “If you feel like proving me wrong, I’ll be on ship’s watch tonight.” You stand up and saunter back to the Sunny across the dock, leaving the men to continue arguing behind you.
——
You sit against the mast on the deck of the Sunny, smoking a cigarette and staring up at the starry night sky. You hear the heavy thump of jackboots hitting the deck near the gangplank. You smirk and snuff out your cigarette before standing up.
“So much for ‘I wouldn’t stick my dick anywhere near you.’” You chuckle as you turn to face exactly who you were expecting.
Without a word, you’re pushed backwards, now held up with a heavy metal hand pressing your body against the mast, feet dangling below you.
“You’re a fucking brat. Brats need to be punished.” Kid speaks lowly as he brings his flesh hand to your throat and squeezes the sides gently.
“I’d like to see you try.” You gasp out with his fingers pressing against your windpipe.
“Gods you never shut up do you…” Kid says before his smashes his mouth onto yours in a messy, aggressive kiss. Teeth and tongues were clashing immediately. After a few moments, Kid’s grip around your torso loosened. “Your room…” He grunts out against your lips.
“Down the hall… third door on the left…” You say softly with his hand still around your neck.
Kid immediately scoops up your tiny body and throws it over his shoulder with a thud. His hand hits your ass and you yelp out. Kid carries you to your room and kicks open the door. You were thrown all the way across the room, your body hitting the bed with a heavy thump.
“You thought you could get away with disrespecting me like that…” Kid says as he strides towards you, shredding his jacket. “You’re in for it now, little girl…” He smiles devilishly as he starts undoing his belt. “Clothes off. Now.”
You sit up on your elbows.
“Make me.” You say with a sheepish grin.
“Fucking bitch… can’t listen to a single thing…” Kid stopped his work on his pants and stomps over to you. He uses his metal hand to rip your dress and panties off your body in one fell swoop. You were now completely exposed, so you closed your legs to hide the arousal that this vicious man was causing you. He looks down at your nude body from the side of the bed for a moment, nipples erect and thighs clenched together.
“Such a tight little body… too bad I have to ruin it.” Kid says with a laugh.
“Get on with it then. I’m waiting. I had better offers tonight, you know. I’m not usually one for charity cases.” You say from your reclined position on the bed.
Kid growls and forces your legs apart, then hovers his face over yours as he still stands against the bed. He swiftly and forcefully shoves two thick fingers inside of you without warning. He grips the back of your head with his metal hand and forces you to look down at your own sex where his fingers were pumping in and out of you at a fast pace. You cry out in both pain and pleasure.
“You slut… charity case, huh? Why is this dirty little cunt so wet, then? Just look at it, already drooling on my hand… You get this wet for every pirate that comes your way? So filthy…” He chided you. You squirmed in his hold as he crooked up his fingers and started tapping them into your g-spot.
“Fuck!” You breath out as you feel your orgasm build quickly with each pull of his fingers and grind of his palm against your clit. The red haired man smiled maniacally down at you as he worked your pussy over.
“You’re close, huh little girl?” Kid smirked over you as he brought you so close to the edge of release.
“Yes, fuck, I’m right there…” You huff out and furrow your brow, trying to reach your peak.
“Good. Stay that way.” Kid says as he removes his hands from you.
The ache in your neck from being held in place paled in comparison to the need you felt between your legs. You were right on the precipice of your high and it was ripped away from you.
“What the fuck, Kid!” You shouted up at him in frustration.
“Oh sweetheart you’re going to have to get used to that. After running your mouth all day, I don’t think you’ll be cumming tonight. Maybe if you really beg for it…” Kid chuckles.
“I’m not beggin- Oh!” You shriek as you’re picked up and flipped onto your stomach, your bottom half facing the edge of the bed. A cool metal hand grips your waist and pulls you up to your knees on the bed, presenting your ass up in the air. You hear a belt and pants clink to the floor.
“Enough, slut.” Kid commands as he sinks his cock deep into you without warning.
“Shit!” You cry out and your head whips back.
“Not so little now, huh?”
“Holy shit, Kid-“ You try to squeak out as he pulled your hips back to meet his pelvis, forcing his cock to kiss your womb so deeply with each rapid stroke. “S-slow down! Too much…” You shout as tears prick at your eyes.
“No I don’t think so, whore. You talked a big game earlier, so you’re going to take this big dick now like the slut you are.” Kid punctuated his words with a harsh slap to your ass. He pulls out and flips you quickly onto your back. “Wanna see this pretty face when I break you.”
Kid enters you again and you moan involuntarily. You were certainly eating your words now… he was far from little. You weren’t about to let him get the best of you yet, though…
You pull Kid down by his neck into a searing kiss as he plowed into your weeping cunt. He hummed in approval as he leaned down further into you, allowing you to wrap your arms around his shoulders. Distracting him by sticking your tongue down his throat, you use all your might to flip him over you onto the bed, leaving you seated on his cock. You pulled back with a wicked grin on your face. You bounced hard on top of him, making Kid growl out in pleasure.
“Topped by a girl, Captain Kid? Doesn’t seem like you.” You say, your voice laced with venom as your run your hands up his chest. You squeeze his nipples as you ride his cock.
“Fuck… you’re lucky you’re so fucking good at that… or else I’d strangle the life out of you right now…” Kid huffs out as he bucks his needy hips up into yours, making a lewd slapping noise against your ass. You grind yourself onto him, feeling yourself so close to that stolen orgasm from before.
Kid sees your eyes roll back and feels your pussy begin to flutter around him. It was a dead giveaway, your body had betrayed you.
Kid grips your torso in his metal hand yet again and throws you off his cock and onto your back at the foot of the bed.
“Fuck! Why!” You cry as you whack your fists against the bed.
Kid laughs as he teases his cock at your hole from above you.
“You haven’t properly begged for it yet. I’ll happily let you cum… I just need to hear you, desperate and needy, beg me to let you cum on my cock.”
You groan and buck your hips into the head of his member, desperate to feel him inside of you again and achieve your release. You pussy was throbbing, hurting even, with need and you needed to fix it. Now.
“Fine… Please just put it back in… Wanna feel you more…” You sigh out.
“Oh was that a ‘please’? Little brat is learning! Gonna be such a good slut when we’re done here…” Kid says as he slowly slips himself back into your clenching hole.
Kid himself lets out a groan as he sees the dopey smile that washes over your face when your feel his cock press against that sinful spot inside of you again. He continues pumping in and out of you at a slow, torturous pace. He used his flesh hand to stroke your clit gently as he holds your leg open with his metal hand. You arch your back and moan.
“Close again, brat? You ready to beg for it? I can feel it, this little pussy needs to cum so bad. I can do it for you… you know how…” Kid teases as he stops rubbing your clit but leaves his hand there, waiting for a response.
“Shit! Don’t stop please! Please please please, Kid! I don’t fucking care anymore you asshole, I need to cum so bad please! I want to be a good slut for you! I want to cum, please!” You scream with thrashing hips, tears finally falling from your lashes.
“Hmmm, could be nicer… but fine. Go ahead, whore, cream my cock then.” Kid says as he resumes his ministrations on your clit and picks up the speed of his hips.
“FUCK!” You shout lewdly as you feel the coil in your abdomen break and you’re finally pushed over that edge. You could barely control your body as it spasmed and gushed all over Kid’s waist.
“Aww, you’re so cute when you cum.” Kid tells you condescendingly. “Now open wide, slut. What do we say?” He says as he fully leans over you and grips your cheeks together firmly in one hand.
“Thank… you…” You say weakly as you try to recover from your orgasm, but Kid is still plowing into your sensitive pussy. Kid holds your jaw open and he spits in your mouth. You instinctively swallow.
“Good fucking girl…” Kid coos down at you as you feel his body tighten and he shoots hot ropes of cum deep inside of you.
Kid flops on top of you, his head buried in your shoulder. After a few moments of catching your breath, you realized yours was a bit labored.
“Kid… you’re like 300 pounds… can you maybe get off me before you fall asleep?” You ask while trying to push him off by his shoulders.
“Huh? Oh. Yeah.” He comes to his senses and pushes himself off of you and rises to his feet. “Mind if I crash here tonight?” He asks.
“I’d be offended if you didn’t.” You giggle and climb into the sheets that were now thoroughly messed up. “Take that hunk of metal off and stay awhile.” You nod at his arm.
“Uh, yeah. I guess I could. I just want to make sure the door is locked.” Kid seems to avoid your gaze as he checks your bedroom door lock before removing his metal arm and setting it on the floor next to your bed. He says nothing as he climbs into bed.
“Sorry I’m about half the cuddler I used to be…” Kid says with a somewhat sad laugh. He wraps his flesh arm around your torso. You turn around to face him.
“You don’t like people seeing you without it, do you?” You ask as you look into his golden eyes.
“no. I don’t.” He replies.
“It’s okay. You’re safe with me.” You nuzzle into Kid’s broad chest and promptly fall asleep.
——
*****A/N* OKAY BUT DOES THIS NEED A PART 2?!?!!?!? Bitch I got carried AWAY?!!?!?!?!****
#one piece#one piece fanfiction#one piece anime#one piece fanart#one piece live action#one piece netflix#one piece fandom#one piece smut#law x reader#eustass captain kidd#kid pirates#eustass kid#eustass x reader#kid x reader#captain kid
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Somehow, someway, a milestone has been hit! I am so grateful to all of you who have decided that this is a fun place to hang out! Thank you so much for choosing to be here and for your support of my fics/drabbles/hoe spirals! ❤️ Tumblr has been a safe space for me for a long time, and being able to express myself and share all that comfort and joy with all of you has been so wonderful for me. 🎉🎉 So thank you all for all of this and sharing the joy with me.
With that, I am hoping you’ll all be as excited for this celebration event as I am! Does anyone remember the choose your own adventure books from when you were a kid? Every time I write something here, that’s what it feels like to me. And so thanks to @krirebr, she gave me the wonderful idea of transferring that concept to a fic!
I’ll be posting polls and sneak peaks along the way, but together we are going to write our own “Choose your own adventure CE Fic”
I hope you guys will join me in voting for your favourite babe, and your favourite trope (polls coming this afternoon)
This will also serve as the Masterlist for the Celebration so you can find all the following posts here!
Pick the Babe Poll
Pick the Trope Poll
#paperweight91s 300 celebration 🎉#choose your own adventure fic#thank you for all the love#feeling grateful
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Harrow the Ninth Reaction - Chapter 51
Gideon just absolutely adoring the idea of her mother growing up, talking to her all the time … and Wake explicitly had her as a tool. to murder her. to unleash someone to kill Gideons biological father. oh this is so fucked
this is a complete sidenote but i cherish every little bit of info we get about baby Gideon and Harrow, its so cute but so heartbreaking, and they hurt each other in the cruel ways only little kids can
also!!! Harrow had Gideon’s blood on her from their fight. so she really did unlock the Locked Tomb? but i’m still slightly confused since Mercy mentioned the blood ward needed ‘a thanergy burst’ from someone’s death alongside her blood to mimic the Emperor’s, which was to my understanding why they were planning to kill baby!Gid as well - how did Harrow get in with just the blood? did the 200 souls she has tagging along count?
A.L. is Alecto, and calling her a monster pretty much confirms that she’s the body in the Locked Tomb! also the Lyctors are hardly good, moral, people - what kind of person was Annabel Lee to terrify them so much, for them to consider her a ‘monster’? moreover what actually was she, that apparently John couldn’t even kill her again
and if those weird black eyes were originally Alecto’s … thats another hint she seems to be more than human
oh this guy is SUCH a bastard, he knew that there was a way to achieve Lyctorhood without killing the cavalier, and he still let them do it. and Harrow, through … whatever she did to her brain, achieved it. i’m guessing this is what Palamedes was talking about when he asked if Harrow had ‘finished the work’
which does beg the question as to why he didn’t tell them. he says that it was ‘easier’ not to, and he ‘thought he was doing the right thing’ - but given he’s asking for Mercy’s forgiveness here, i really don’t know if he’s being genuine. but if he is, i’m very curious as to what situation could warrant not telling them about this being in anyway close to what (at least, he believed) the right thing
'[Ianthe’s] expression was blank, no emotion at all’ i wonder how Ianthe feels about this. she didn’t seem to care much for Naberius, but still being lied to like that can’t feel good. or perhaps, upset with herself on an intellectual level for not realising that ‘true Lyctorhood’ could be achieved?
'Nobody has to be punished anymore for what happened to humanity’ who exactly is the Emperor punishing with this war, he doesn’t seem to be achieving anything at all with it, let alone any form of retribution
oh shit this is the murder then! here we are finally, i really didn’t think Mercy would be the one to do it
'Leaving me an orphan again’ Gideon has gone through a ridiculous rollercoaster of revelations and emotions right now, she just met both of her biological parents for the first time and saw them both die in the span of half an hour. fun!
also Harrow has been privy to absolutely none of this information, i feel like if anything was going to break her faith in the guy it’ll be that there was technically no need for Gideon to sacrifice herself - it will be very interesting to see her reaction if she eventually finds out
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Some random, out of context lines from only the best show in the world
"YOU are the brawn?"
"If she'd died last night, I'd have no problem with her being here!" "Well that got dark"
"We've met phychics before, but none as fit as you" "HAH. Did that work on girls back in the 80s?"
"Are you ready to talk to her shoes?"
"And those girls are staring..." "Mabye it's your outfit" *middle finger*
"I don't care how old you are. Go to bed"
"Well, I'm very open minded and also very concerned about bursting open" "honestly I just find her so charming"
"Are you insane?"
"so I'm a... Tree?"
"Cute? Thats offensive"
"It smells like dog shit in there"
"I'll make sure to jot that down in my journal of opinions I DO NOT GIVE A DAMN ABOUT"
"Luckily, love requires no logic"
"MONTY! JESUS! I'm tryna... Threaten some kids"
"Are you ready to talk to her shoes?"
"Fuck off, the kid had a sardine"
"E-yup"
"she's always... Changing outfits"
"Are you being threatening or is this a sexy choking?"
"weeee!"
"In my experience, uptight boys like a bit of rough play" "... Right" (my poor innocent Edwin has no idea what that means)
"Hello, um, cute little friend with the bow tie"
"Teethface, what the fuck?"
"I'm just a really old man who lives in a fish"
"Specificity is key"
*Girls react sword death* "was that good? Were you scared?" "Pff, no. The sword would of punctured the lung, leaving her *gasping noises* unable to scream. Not to mention the sheer amount of blood filling her mouth. Very disappointing girls"
"You guys are like a dead married couple on acid"
"Is that my left or your left?" "We have the same left!"
"No, it is the blue book on the top left corner" *picks up pink book* "does that look blue to you, Charles?"(Colour blind Charles yaas)
"Well, that's harsh. But also charmingly stubborn. Capricorn?"
"Were not living anywhere, because your not living"
"This detective work is much measure than it ever looked on scooby doo"
"Two boys can like like each other, you know. I have a lot of manga about it. It's very sweet, and explicit"
"Again, a handshake would suffice"
"Yes, your highness"
"What is a hand job?"
"Well have to investigate further into this Molly character"
"At least one of you is in school, right?"
"You've been spending a lot of time with that one... Monty... You... A lot of time?" "Hmm? Merely swapping books is all"
"Oh my fucking fuck"
"I thought you were like a meat robber or a meat pervert or something"
"If you need anything, just shout. But don't actually shout. It's a library"
"Are you always a woman, is Charles ever a woman, can you change your eyes and nose like Mr potato head, do you know who mr potato head is?"
"Your such a whore"
"You don't look like a walrus"
"this looks like the places in those fish stick commercials I like"
"Charles, be less British. Edwin, be less Edwin"
"oh no, it's porn. It's all just porn"
"there are 142 cats" "142? That's way off!" (It's four off)
"and when he gets back from hell, I'll be waiting. God, I am such a romantic I hate it!"
"do you and Charles.. um... Have a special friendship?" "We are best friends, if you must know." (Keep him innocent guys)
"have you seen a Victrola anywhere?" "What?"
"oh, I think I'm gonna be sick!" "You are a ghost, Charles. You cannot get sick"
"well, maybe karma's just a bitch"
"I heard they died in some gay suicide pact"
"I have never wanted to get back inside someone more" (out of context this one just sounds so wrong lmao)
"are you saying my ghost friend isn't going to die? Super, thanks."
#i found a lot#dead boy detectives#this csn also be used as a way to pursuade people to watch dbd#seeing as its soooo convincing#dbda
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Randomly, I had a thought on how likely it would have been for different characters to have fallen for Cloud and why they would have fallen for him and now I’m here! Once more! So going in no particular order let us begin (this is just the main sort of batch of characters, let me know if you wanna see any of the side ones like the Turks or Rufus)
Also keep in mind this is just me, my opinions and my blog. Don’t like, don’t read, don’t bring your ship hating or ship wars in here or I’ll punch you. Please and thank you!
Zack: I am being mildly biased with my own shipping head canons when I say that he would’ve fallen head over heels upon first meeting, but also it is canon that he was a chronic flirt and had multiple ‘girlfriends’. So I say it’s not entirely out of the question.
Sephiroth: before he lost his mind there wasn’t a chance in fucking hell it would’ve happened I think. Besides the whole difference in rank thing Seph was already far too traumatised and probably would have just seen Cloud as another guy that saw him as nothing but a war hero. He might have entertained the thought of sleeping with him, maybe, but I really don’t think it would’ve happened. We all know how he is after he loses his mind so I don’t think I gotta delve into that.
Angeal: probably not. He definitely would’ve taken some sort of liking to Cloud, whether as a friend he could find good conversation with or a sort of protege like Zack, I dunno. But ultimately I don’t reckon they’d have too much of a connection, not without some form of poly going on or something. Which leads me to this next one.
Genesis: I for sure reckon he would’ve fallen for Cloud. It would’ve been fucking messy and drama filled and more than likely would have stemmed from an enemies to lovers cause they’re both so incredibly stubborn and head strong, but they would end up loving each other. They’d definitely still butt heads and get into useless arguments but there were far too many pros to even think of giving up on the other.
Aerith: without the whole Cloud resembling Zack thing, maybe. There’s a chance that she could have but it would have been slow. Would’ve been one of those things where they hung out and talked and did all this stuff together so often that one day she would’ve turned around and realised she was in love with him. Like a full on ‘oh’ moment.
Tifa: this is another thing that’s mildly biased based off my own head canons but I honestly don’t think Tifa would have fallen for Cloud. If not for the Nibelheim incident and Cloud being exactly what she always wished for as a kid I do not think it would’ve happened.
Barret: definitely fucking not 😂 besides the fact that he hated Cloud when they first met, Cloud is so far beyond his type it’s not even funny. Plus I feel like Barret would either be one of those guys who’s like ‘my wife was the only woman for me’ or he just wouldn’t wanna put Marlene through the stress of suddenly gaining another parent.
Biggs: maybe. Like a heavy ass possibly honestly. I feel like it would have been the most generic romance in history and it would’ve been so unbelievably normal and it most likely would have been short lived, but maybe.
Wedge: I’m not gonna lie. Wedge gives me aromantic vibes for some reason. I dunno why, he just does. He’d definitely befriend Cloud (eventually) and be willing to wingman him or something if he needed it but yeah, I don’t think Wedge would’ve fallen for him.
Jessie: she absolutely loves flirting with Cloud and teasing him and being all over him, but she is definitely a lesbian. Don’t even argue with me! That woman is a full fledged lesbian and she only flirts with guys so heavily cause it’s funny to watch them scramble.
Vincent: nah, not really. Would they have a friends with benefits thing? Probably. But I feel like Vincent is far too emotionally unavailable and traumatised to even entertain the idea of being with someone again.
Cid: I feel like this is similar to Angeal. He’d definitely like Cloud and they’d bond over mechanic shit and complain about the people they chose to surround themselves with, but he definitely wouldn’t fall for him either. Cloud is way too young for him and not nearly his type in a guy. Plus he has a wife.
#fic prompt#fic#prompt#final fantasy vii rebirth#final fantasy vii remake#final fantasy vii#Zack fair#cloud strife#angeal hewley#genesis rhapsodos#Sephiroth#aerith gainsborough#tifa lockhart#barret wallace#Jessie#Biggs#wedge#Vincent valentine#cid highwind#ships#headcanons#ship headcanons I guess#zakkura#clack#clerith#strifesodos#Biggs x cloud#Jessie is a raging lesbian headcanon#and you’ll pry it from my cold dead fingers
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Dionysus' iceberg
This post is what remains of an initially very long rant idea. That means there will probably be a part 2 😏.
Here's the reason for my title :
In theory, you can stop there since my meme pretty much summarizes my complaints. But since I like ranting, I'll continue 😈
The tip of the iceberg
When you think "Dionysus", which words come in mind first ?
Probably "wine", "party", "alcohol" "fun god".
These words are what most people remember about Dionysus. And yes, I'm not going to deny, they fit.
Unfortunately, my problem comes with the fact that 9.5 times out of 10, Dionysus' personality will exclusively revolve around these aspects.
Since the issue is about modern adaptations and perceptions, I'll use a modern term.
I'm sure most of you are familiar with flanderization, right ? If not, the link to TV Tropes' article on the subject is available.
Many adaptations fell into that trap for, I think, every single Olympian.
Hades, god of the dead, lord of the Underworld = Satan, evil death god, darkness and sorrow
Aphrodite, goddess of love and beauty = Superficial bimbo who only cares about her pretty face
Zeus, king of the gods, lord of the sky and thunder = 100% pure God OR more recently : evil king god who constantly abuses women.
The gods are stripped of their complexity to fit simpler and more "digestible" characterizations. It doesn't help that the cultural context surrounding them is also taken away...
But this is about grape boi, right? Well, Dionysus is no exception to that rule. In fact, he might be one of the worst cases.
So far, he was never really portrayed in an "insulting" light, like Apollo in Lore Olympus or Hades in the Percy Jackson movie. Fortunately.
But, from all the popular adaptations I've seen, none of them manage to portray Dionysus ! None ! Does that make them automatically bad ? No, of course. It's just something I noticed.
God of war ? Doesn't appear, only mentioned
Disney ? Don't even try 🤣. Just a drunk goofball. Yes, that includes the fantasia segment and Hercules.
Lore Olympus? Well, he's a baby for 99.99999% of the time, so it doesn't count. But he's still a quiet little Gucci bag for Persephone.
Hades I ? Just a nice guy. But hey ! He can give us useful boons ! And I like his sass.
Maybe he'll do more in Hades II. They're usually more accurate than most, right ? Though that's not a very high bar. And they know about Zagreus ! Surely that's a good sign, right ?
Nevermind...
Here's what all these adaptations tell us :
Dionysus is the god of wine, feasts and parties
He's an Olympian
He likes to get drunk and party 🥳
And that's it.
Again, I'm not blaming anyone, but if the myths stopped with those three points, wouldn't everyone wonder why he's even an Olympian ? I sure did when I was a kid.
We have the god of thunder, the goddess of wisdom and war strategy, god of music/arts/medicine/100 other things, the god of the oceans ! Many cool gods !
And some drunk dude. He's not given any particular power, except the power to stay super passive no matter the stakes ! If the story revolves about epic godly fights (which is often the case), he's absolutely useless.
Heck, Hades II even actively depicts him as a pacifist who can't handle war. While he's not physically a weakling, he sure psychologically is.
Why is this a problem ?
I am not going to beat around the bush: this gives us a very incomplete and incorrect perception of the god.
Even the things that aren't forgotten about him (like his link to wine) aren't explored.
The thing with Hades II (that's the last time I'll mention it) is that it tries to deepen the flanderized version of Dionysus. He's not stupid, but afraid. He drinks to forget his issues.
While this characterization can be very interesting taken separately, we must remember that this isn't an OC, but an interpretation of a cultural figure.
It must be accurate ! While I can accept some liberties, I think that those should mostly be an extension of the original material, not a total deviation.
Dionysus isn't a scared little boi or a stupid drunkard you can manipulate. In fact, that's quite the opposite. And he's not afraid to get his hands dirty.
(even if the "dirt" in question is the blood of his enemies).
Under the surface
Though it's rather "stuff you can find on Wikipedia". Or by reading the myths.
More about it in part 2 of the rant...
It'll be about theater, madness, travels, link between mortality and immortality and... pirates turning into dolphins.
The actual interesting stuff about Dionysus.
I'm not sure about Blood of Zeus and Percy Jackson.
If anyone can explain what exactly he does in one of these series (or both), it'd be nice. My post would be more complete.
Though because of the general perception of Dionysus, my point still stands. None of the things I'll mention in part 2 play a role.
#justice for dionysus#if anything i said is wrong please fact-check me#fellow dionysus enjoyers or fans of the adaptations i mentioned#if you disagree. it's completely fine 😉. just my opinion#Dionysus#dionysos#greek mythology#greek myth discussion#rant#not a reblog
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THE HUNTERS & THE SOLDIER
Pairing: Avenger!Bucky Barnes x OC! Avenger Reader
Summary: You and Bucky go on a little trip to the cemetery
Warning: Mention of dead people, opening a casket, mention of kidnapping and yk the usual ->18+!!
Other: English isn’t my first language. This is more a filler chapter than anything. Also I got an idea for a new story about Viking! Bucky so be ready for that
-> Masterlist
-> Part seven ; Part nine
-> Dead people can’t walk (08)
“This isn’t really what I thought I’d be doing on a Friday night.” You sighed, wiping sweat from your forehead as you leaned on the shovel handle, peering up at Bucky. Five feet underground, you were digging towards the casket where Cassandra’s mysterious patient was buried. Yet, all Bucky did was shine his torch down at you, offering minimal assistance. All because he didn’t want to get dirty.
Fury had instructed Sam and Dean not to do anything illegal they typically did on a hunt which involved this kind of trip to the cemetery and in the end, Sam managed to convince his brother to lay low. But Fury never said anything of that sort to you and Bucky, so there you were.
“Talk less and dig more.” Bucky remarked, pointing the torch directly in your eyes.
“Piece of shit.” You muttered, squinting your eyes. “You could give me a hand. Aren’t you supposed to be the Super Soldier here?”
Bucky smirked. “Who’s the cannibal with super strength?”
“I’m not a cannibal and you’re stronger than me.” You grumbled, pushing back your frustration and resuming your digging.
“I thought Wendigos had plenty of stamina.” Bucky remarked, rolling his eyes. “You look like you’re struggling.”
“I’m half human, dickhead.” You shot back, purposely throwing some dirt onto his boots. “I’m starting to think you got the location wrong and you’re up there to bury me or something.”
“Dramatic, are we?” Bucky retorted, a hint of amusement in his voice.
You rolled your eyes at him. “Just kept the torch steady and shut the fuck up.” You sighed, hoping that the coffin you were looking for wasn’t buried too deep.
“I’m not the one who complained the whole night.”
You shot him a glare. “I can understand why Natasha dumped you.” You muttered under your breath, but he heard you loud and clear. “My girl made a smart choice.”
“She didn’t dump me, it was a mutual dumping.” He clarified, huffing.
“You sound as delusional as Thor.” You looked up at him. “You know, you’re unusually not grumpy today, what the fuck has gotten into you? It’s freaking me out.” You asked, raising an eyebrow.
“Has anyone ever told you that you swear too much?” He rolled his eyes. “And I’ve been trying to be more open to confrontation these days, in case you haven’t noticed. It’s called personal growth, you should try it.”
“The only thing I got in these last few days were glares.”You scoffed. “Also… personal growth? You? Seems more like a mid-life crisis.” You chuckled to yourself. “What are you? One hundred and sixty?”
“One hundred and seven, actually.” He corrected, his gaze fixed on you as you kept digging.
“Mentally you’re still what? Two, if we want to be generous?” You jabbed, glancing up at him briefly to catch the annoyed frown on his face.
“I’m actually considering what you said earlier about burying you.” He replied with mock seriousness, though you knew he was kidding. At least, you hoped he was. “And listen who’s talking; you’re what? Eighteen?”
“Almost twenty-six, for your information.” You retorted. “But really, why haven’t you given me the whole ‘I don’t trust you, you’re still with Hydra’ shit today? I kind of miss it.”
“I’m saving it for a special occasion.” Bucky shrugged, but a smile was playing on his lips. This guy was getting weird.
You let the conversation die down, still unable to shake off the lingering resentment from how Bucky had treated you during the last year. It wasn’t that you blamed him; you understood the trauma he endured because of Hydra and you knew he acted that way with you because you had served them ‘willingly’. Probably, in his place, you’d be the same.
Still, just because you understood didn’t mean you had to tolerate whatever he said or did. It was an explanation, not an excuse, and you had proven yourself to be a trustworthy person time and time again while being an Avenger. So his talk of ‘personal growth’ - as ironic as it was - could be shoved where the sun didn’t shine.
After what felt like an eternity, your shovel finally hit something solid. Kneeling down, you pondered on how to open the coffin without damaging it - after all, it was still the final resting place of someone.
Bucky, however, had different ideas as usual. He descended into the hole with you, slightly pushing you aside as he used his metal arm to open the coffin. Together, you peered inside only to find… nothing. It was empty.
“Hold on a second.” You said, seizing the torch from his hand and pointing it directly into the coffin to make sure your eyes didn’t play a joke on you. “Are you sure this was the right place?”
“Yes, Emma.” Bucky sighed heavily, the frustration was evident in his voice.
“Then what happened? Are we about to witness a zombie apocalypse?! Because dead people can’t walk, they don’t just get up and leave their graves for a night walk.”
Bucky just looked at you silently, trying to find an explanation but nothing came, so he just bit his lower lip and scanned the empty coffin once again.
As your phone vibrated in your pocket, you retrieved it to see Dean’s name flashing on the screen. “Dean?” You answered, putting him on speaker.
“Hey, uh… we’re at Malcom Donovan’s house, and I think you should come take a look.” Dean’s voice came through, laden with concern.
“Weren’t you supposed to be at the Miller’s?” Bucky interjected, as you both shared a skeptical glance.
“Yes, but it was empty. Completely empty, so we decided to check out Donovan’s place.” Dean explained briefly.
“Empty?!” You echoed, feeling a surge of alarm. “What about the Wendigo?”
“It wasn’t there.” Sam’s voice chimed in. “The door was wide open when we arrived, blood everywhere, but no sign of Mrs Miller or anyone else. It looks like the creature attacked her… because let’s face it, how likely is it that she could have escaped?”
“What did you two find?” Dean asked.
“Nothing.” You answered, glancing at the empty coffin one last time.
“What do you mean nothing?”
“We mean nothing, Dean.” Bucky took a breath. “No one is buried here, we’ve been digging for nothing.”
“We?!” You squealed, incredulous, but he only suppressed a smirk.
“Alright, meet us here and we’ll trying to figure something out.” Dean said, hanging up the phone.
Letting a sigh, you put your phone back into your pocket and without exchanging a word, you and Bucky climbed out of the hole. Or, to say it better, he climbed out of it.
“Mind giving me a hand?” You asked, extending your arm so he could grab it and help you out. But before he could respond, you glanced at the scene before you again, feeling defeated. You had experience to at least find a cadaver - as awful as it sounds - to see if there was something that could tell you who the man was and maybe see if he could give you some lead on the case. Instead, you found absolutely nothing.
“I do mind.” He replied bluntly, leaving you dumbfounded.
You suppressed your frustration at his lack of cooperation and you pulled yourself out of the hole, getting dirtier in the process than you already were.
“I’m not closing it.” You then declared, passing the shovel to Bucky once he got to your side.
He looked at you, shrugging. “Then it can stay open.”
You swore your eyes rolled so far back into your head at his nonchalant response that they almost saw the back of your skull. With a frustrated huff, you tossed the shovel back into the hole. You were done for the night, and you had other places to be.
As you walked past Bucky, purposely bumping shoulders with him (action you regretted immediately since you hit his metal part and it would probably leave a bruise), you made your way to the exit of the lonely, creepy cemetery. The knowledge that ghosts were real made the atmosphere ten times worse, especially in this section where the gravestones were nameless and only a row of crosses stood, impaled on the ground. The only sound was the cawing of ravens perched on the trees above.
And last but not least, you could feel Bucky’s eyes on your figure even if he was just a few feet behind you. “You have a staring problem.” You remarked.
“I’m staring at my problem, it’s different.” He corrected you, causing you to turn your head and send him a death glare. “What?”
“So many snarky comments for someone who claimed to have had a personal growth in less than a week.” You retorted, keeping your peace steady.
“Just because I’m starting to be more open to the idea that perhaps this time you’re not a threat, doesn’t mean I like you.” He stated, putting up with your peace - which wasn’t hard considering he was much taller than you. “In fact, I don’t.”
“You’re a pain in the ass, you know that?” You said through clenched teeth. “And I’ve already told you that what Hydra did to you wasn’t much different from what they did to me. And if you think-”
“I don’t think you’re a monster.” He cut you off, catching you off guard.
“I beg your pardon?” You replied, stopping in your tracks, and he gave you his usual annoyed expression.
“I don’t think you’re a monster.” He repeated. “I’m sorry for making you think I see you as one. I just don’t… can’t bring myself to not see you as a threat.” He said again.
“You’re… apologizing?” You stammered, taken aback by his words. Never in a million years you’d have thought this day would come.
“I’m just saying that maybe I shouldn’t have been so harsh. And I still don’t trust you fully, so get that expression out of your face.” He added, looking at you.
“Bucky Barnes just apologized to me and you think I can act all unbothered? I’m gonna throw a party. Actually if you can say that again so I can film it, I w-“
“Who’s there?” A voice interrupted, causing you both to tense. “You’re not going to steal another body from this cemetery, do you hear me?! Last time was enough!” He kept shouting.
You and Bucky spotted the night guard looking around with his torch, and without waisting another second, you both hurried away from the road as fast as you could. You grabbed Bucky’s arm, keeping a firm grip on it, to avoid getting separated knowing that in the almost pitch-black darkness, it would be difficult to find each other.
As you moved, careful not to make any unnecessary sounds, you could hear the guard talking and you hoped he wasn’t alerting the police. Bucky dragged you somewhere and his voice faded in the distance. He brought you both into what what you imagined was a small cabin and he closed the door behind you.
There was some light filtering in through the only window, which was almost useless. As you began to move around, you quickly realized there wasn’t much room to maneuver around- it felt more like a closet than anything else. Your back met the wall, and you found yourself uncomfortably close to Bucky’s chest. You hated it.
Or so you told yourself.
“Can’t you move?” You muttered, feeling a strange mixture of discomfort and intimacy, and you quickly put your hands on his chest to keep some distance but it was more useless than anything.
“No.” He replied. “There’s no space in here.”
“Wherever you are, the police is arriving! You won’t get away with it this time, you hear me?!” The man shouted again, his voice sounding ominously close.
“I really hope this isn’t some… closet where he keeps his things, or else we’re screwed.” You said.
“Did you hear what he said?” He whispered down to you.
“Somebody came here to resume a cadaver, yes.” You nodded, attempting to squeeze between him and the other wall trying to reach the door. “Do you think it has to do with the patient we’re looking for? Would explain why the guy wasn’t in there.” You speculated.
You waited for an answer as you tried to peer outside through the peephole. Unable to properly reach it, you stood on your tiptoes only to feel Bucky’s hand grip your waist.
“Stop moving like that.” He grunted, trying to take a few steps back to create more space between the two of you but it was futile.
You were suddenly glad for the darkness, or else he would have caught the redness of you cheeks as you realized your lower back hit his crotch - if you could, you’d die on the spot.
“Sorry, I was just trying to see if he’s around. Maybe we can leave before the police gets here.” You hastily explained, clearing your throat after the awkward moment.
He sighed audibly, but instead of moving away, he pressed his chest against your back as he looked through the peephole himself getting closer than before. “I can see the torchlight.” He said, his hand still firm on your waist.
“Mh.” You just mumbled in response. The proximity felt strange, considering he had kept his distance for as long as you could remember, yet you didn’t push him away or attempt to create space between you two. And neither did he.
“You know,” He started, his mouth close to your ear, his hand still lingering on your waist. “I can hear your heart beating faster, didn’t think you’d get nervous so easily.” He remarked teasingly. “I don’t bite.”
“It’s because we ran.” You replied, trying to keep your voice steady despite the nervous flutter in your chest. “We should leave before the police gets here.”
“If you say so.” He responded, removing his hand from your waist, and you felt the warmth of his touch go away. “Wouldn’t mind staying here for a bit longer. See how things turns out, maybe something exciting will happen… with the case.” He clarified in the end, but it seemed he was teasing you more than anything else.
As he said that, you flung open the door of the cabin, your anger boiling beneath the surface. What was his fucking problem? He had ignored you for as long as you’d known him and now all of a sudden he was being flirtatious or whatever that was. You were fuming. He didn’t get to act all charming when just a few days ago, he wouldn’t even look you in the eyes.
Not even days ago, for fuck’s sake, moments ago.
“Hey!” He shouted in a whispered tone as you stumbled out of the small cabin.
“We need to go, Dean’s waiting for us.” You said, without looking back. “Don‘to say another word or I swear to God I’ll have your tongue.”
You marched forward, your pace was steady considering how angry you were feeling. Casting occasional glances behind you, you monitored the guard’s movements. Bucky’s steps echoed behind you, but he stopped suddenly when you veered off the path leading to the cemetery’s exit.
“Where are you going?” He demanded, following you closed behind. “The gate is that way.” He persisted.
“The police will be coming from that direction too, genius.” You retorted sharply, walking towards a corner of the cemetery careful not to destroy anyone’s resting place.
“I can barely see you.” He mumbled, managing to see your movements in the dark. In that part of the cemetery, the only source of light came from the moon as the lamps were too far away.
“Help me.” You instructed, arriving at a towering wall. The main exist was too risky, so you opted to climb over the wall.
Bucky approached you, but didn’t complain as he cupped his hands together, creating a solid platform for you to step on. You moved forward, placing your foot on his hands, pushing off with all your strength as he hoisted you upwards.
Once you reached the top of the wall, you grabbed onto its edge and steadied yourself. Peering down at Bucky, you distinctly saw him reach out a hand waiting for you to help him back.
“Mind giving me a hand?” He called out.
“I do mind.” You retorted, a smirk playing on your lips - though he probably couldn’t see it due to the darkness. With a decisive leap, you jumped off the wall leaving him stranded on the other side.
Petty, maybe, but as the police sirens drew nearer, you couldn’t help but smirk before briskly walking away.
#bucky barnes#bucky x reader#bucky x oc#bucky x you#dean winchester#james bucky barnes#sam winchester#supernatural#bucky bar ws#marvel#bucky barnes x you#bucky barnes x oc#bucky x female reader#bucky x y/n#bucky fanfic#james bucky buchanan barnes#bucky barnes x yn#bucky barnes x reader#bucky#bucky barnes x female reader#bucky barnes x y/n#bucky barnes x original female character
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Sparks tour 2023
Posting this close to a whole year after the fact, but a tour this good really takes time for me to process. My chest was constantly exploding with how much I loved it all and I have no idea how to put that into words. (I've fully come to understand why Sparks themselves stick with a lovely audience photo after every show accompanied by a massive "THANK YOU!".) However I do want to preserve my tour memories with more detail as well, so at a risk of terrible writing... here's part one of me attempting to write it all down. I went to 5 shows (Manchester, Royal Albert Hall x2, Utrecht and Brussels) and I'll be making posts for all of them. (...I am unreasonably excited to talk about the show in Brussels, but all in good time.) This first post will probably be the longest one as I will be including my first reactions to all the songs, and will equally talk about Mr. B's set in detail :) (Spoiler alert: he too was absolutely amazing and contributed considerably to how great everything was.)
Show #1: Bridgewater Hall, Manchester (may 27, 2023)
Things had not gone smoothly at all for me with the ticket sale for this show, but it worked out amazingly as the result was that @where-did-the-groove-go got to be my concert buddy which was such an honour! It was her first Sparks show and my first one of the tour and honestly, you can't do much better than to start of with a Manchester show. I had been worried about how far away our seats would be but it was a lot closer than photos of the venue had made it seem and we had an amazing view: we were in the centre of the middle of the first balcony, the seats were on a slight slope so no heads were blocking our view. Both of us had decided not to listen to the album before the show as it had only been out for a day. It was a tough decision to make, but it was absolutely the right one :D Okay, onto the show!!
Opening act: Mr. B The Gentleman Rhymer
I was so excited to see Mr. B! I've known about him for years independently of Sparks and had missed out on seeing him with the Hippopotamus tour, so FINALLY I was seeing Mr. B! He came on in an amazing outfit and graced us with the opening lines of... Here Comes Bob?! I was losing my shit! We're not just being treated to Mr. B, but we're treated to Mr. B playing Sparks?! I am not normally one to enjoy Sparks covers, but I was having the time of my life! I love this guy! He then went on to play the Mr. B classic All Hail The Chap! (my sister would be jealous hehe), which I loved so much! The audience was a little slow to catch on, but eventually got there with doing their part which I was happy about. This was followed up by once again familiar notes... Amateur Hour?! MORE SPARKS?? Are you kidding me right now, what did we do to deserve this! IT WAS SO GOOD! After which it didn't end, because then he went on to play Get In The Swing (which is one of my favourite songs of all time - I was being very normal and chill about everything). It took me a moment to grasp the fact we were being treated a full-blown Sparks medley, because it didn't stop there and he just kept going with the Sparks songs. The medley lasted nearly 10 minutes and my mind was blown at many points. He included so many songs that I had only ever dreamed of hearing live. I was having THE BEST TIME. He ended the medley by loudly singing "ALL YOU EVER THINK ABOUT IS SEX!!!!". I was laughing so much, it really was the perfect medley. The next song was one of his own songs that I hadn't heard yet but it had me chuckling so much, a song called Looking Forward To Leaving that he thought might resonate with the Sparks sensibility and their fans. (All too right, sir, all too right.) He finished his set with a cover of Suburban Homeboy and I couldn't have been happier. THE Suburban Homeboy supreme covering that song, Mr.B you have all my love. Sparks had yet to hit the stage but this evening was already made. (@dinkydiamond had seen the show the night before and like a good friend who doesn't spread spoilers, had only told me that at many points she had thought about how much I was going to love it. I hadn't even thought about the fact that that statement would include Mr. B's set to such a degree!)
Mr. B's setlist
(You may enjoy listening to the medley first before knowing what songs were part of the medley, so proceed with caution. I've added asterisks to the titles of the songs within it that blew me out of my seat the most.)
Here Comes Bob
All Hail The Chap!
Medley: Amateur Hour, Get In The Swing*, Big Boy, Moustache, What Are All These Bands So Angry About?*, Strange Animal*, Mickey Mouse, I Predict, When I'm With You, Missionary Position*, All You Ever Think About Is Sex*
Looking Forward To Leaving
Suburban Homeboy
_____
The music played in the hall was SO TENSE AND DRAMATIC. You just got to love and respect Sparks for their music picks to play in the hall before the show, they really know how to set the scene and get the audience excited and anxious in equal amounts. (A few shows later we learned it was film music by Bernard Hermann, which really was such an amazing choice. I'll come back to this subject later on with a bit more info on the songs in my write-up of another show.)
The big event! ~Sparks!~
HOLY SHIT their entrance music was so exciting and beautiful!!!! Russell's outfit! GOD YEAH. It also immediately became clear this audience was going to be AMAZING, everyone was so ready to go! RON WAS WEARING JORDANS!!!! (A dream of mine to see one day!!!) To a lot of very loud cheering, Russell proceeded to do his famed "So.... Manchester, may we start?" to start things off. Still the perfect opener, and I never tire of when So May We Start kicks off and Russell does the jump. The audience response was amazing, which was really fun to see from the balcony! I was really enjoying the lights, which also were especially great to see from our balcony seats! (Also Russell gets an award for performer of the year for pretending to look at his imaginary watch while singing "it's time to start".)
I loved doing the ah-ah-ah's with the entire audience for The Girl Is Crying In Her Latte, and it was so cool to see it live! The lights were absolutely excellent. But a gif will say what I loved the most about the performance of that song a lot better than words ever could, so:
Russell was being really sweet about how playing Manchester is always really great and then added it was the "first time we play this ProPEr THeAtrE, but uh we'll try to make due anyway". (Footage of him saying this exists and it's extremely blessed.) He spoke about the new album and asked the audience which number it is. The audience incoherently shouted some things back, to which Russell's response was to roast us all by saying "Clearly you don't know."
Eaten By The Monster Of Love was a totally unexpected treat that blew my mind! It's quite possibly my favourite song from Angst In My Pants and I love the synth line so much! So lucky!!! I loved Russell's dancing during Angst In My Pants, I had really missed his dancing and with that song it's always especially excellent. Beaver O'Lindy blew my brains out! I'd not expected that at all! The lights were amazing (the spotlight for the accordion parts, the portraying of the letters, light flashing on Ron from all sides - I've got footage of this and somehow it looked especially good this night), shouting along to B-E-A-V-E-R, Russell's falsetto... What a perfect song, it's got it all :D "Yes I knooow - WOO!" When I'm With You was so special, it's so blessed that they chose to play it. It's how we all feel about them, and what's better than to sing it back at them while they're playing it for us :) It's also a song that highlights Russell's amazing voice especially well, his voice absolutely kills me and I wouldn't have it any other way. I also loved those swirly lights! And what we've gone on to affectionately refer to as "Russell's swim dance". Nothing Is As Good As They Say It Is is an absolute banger and it was my favourite of the 3 singles that had already been released before the album came out - I was so ready to go :D I loved Russell's moves for this song so much! Something that really stayed with me is that he actually spun around for "Take a look around and you'll understand". (Can I love him even more?)
The time arrived for the first new song from the album that me and @where-did-the-groove-go hadn't heard yet, which Russell introduced with these words: "This is another brand new song for any of you who feel like maybe you're not on the right course." *small pause* "It's a song that's called 'It Doesn't Have To Be That Way'." ...I was simultaneously having an out of body and in of body experience and already felt teary eyed, and the song hadn't even started yet. It hit me really hard, it was so beautiful and I am so grateful that this was how I first heard this song. "It doesn't have to be that way, OKAY". I was literally holding my heart throughout the whole song (which I was doing quite often during the show anyway but, I literally couldn't do anything else). Absolutely transfixed. "I'll pay for it, I'll pay for it". Thank you so much Sparks for having our backs <3 Genuinely one of the most beautiful experiences and songs ever. (We all spoke about it for many days, for weeks, even months after the show. And obviously I am still talking about it now. I've got my full essay on it elsewhere so you'll be spared of that here - I think you all understand what I mean anyway.)
BALLS hit me in the face like a brick! (Positive. SO VERY POSITIVE.) It's one of my current absolute favourite songs and I had been raving about Balls all the time for the last year or so! I would have never expected to hear it live, AND HERE WE WERE! I was completely losing my shit!!! It was intense, banging, and also beautiful. Also the lights during the instrumental bit?! The way the light filled the hall?!! R&R were both going at it with full energy, I couldn't love it more! Balls and shouting along to it with my fist in the air was one of the absolute biggest highlights of the show for me! (And there were so many highlights.) I am pretty sure there was at least one BALLS [insert fist emoji here] aimed in my direction which I am so grateful for! It was so cool! *synced up BALLS!* Hearing one of my favourite bits of lyrics live, "Do you want to wait, or crash the gate?", was just something else. Balls is one of THE inspirational songs of all time. At least to me. (After the show 3 friends seperately came up to me and shouted BALLS! at me before saying anything else and I love you all so much, you all really know me well [teary eyed smile emoji] That was really special to me. I've made some gifs of some of my Balls footage too, most of my footage of it is rightfully feral but some of it came out well: 1, 2.)
Shopping Mall Of Love remains such a win live, Ron is appropriately intense and cool (not that Ron is ever not cool - Ron is always cool) and I love the way he performs the song. Russell did some great dancing behind Ron too, and also walked around like a badass while singing his "Come, the shopping mall of love, come with me" parts. Award winning! Also THE CLAPS. Always, THE CLAPS. And Manchester audiences know how it's done [fire emoji] Toughest Girl In Town was yet another absolutely amazing and surprising setlist choice, so cool! What I especially liked was that I could see Sarah and Amanda losing their shit to it downstairs in the stalls, dancing so hard in their seats :D That really added to it - some big Toughest Girl In Town fans down there! (I am so proud of my friends.) Also.. THE TAMBOURINE!!! [heart emoji]
The next song that was new to us was Escalator, and I loved it SO MUCH!!! It had me immediately. The driving machine type of sound, the very clear and bright sounding synth sounds, Russell's escalator dance (!!!!! which he did a lot, btw, almost the entire song), the lights! This song just *feels* amazing, the lights going up and down - hell yeah. Russell's escalator dance really is everything to me. I was holding my heart the entire time. I live in this song now, this is now my new home. You can wake me up in the middle of the night for a live performance of Escalator. Any time. (To say it was an instant favourite is an understatement.)
We Go Dancing was similarly new to us, and sadly it felt like it went over most of the audience's head a bit because obviously very few people had heard the album so far and it's a hard one for catching the lyrics live. A very intense experience but also really cool, it's a super blessed thing to be able to hear songs live before hearing it elsewhere. After hearing it I was excited to find out later what the song would have been about.
*Ron plays piano motif* OH MY GOD BON VOYAGE?! YOU WHAT?!! Russell's vocals were literally everything and I loved all the arm swaying, it was such a sweet experience and another song that so clearly shows how awesome Manchester audiences are when it comes to Sparks. I loved this so much! Russell's moves for the "two of you, two of them" bit were absolutely *chef's kiss* too :D All of this was soon followed by me gasping yet again when the first notes of Music That You Can Dance To filled the hall! My literal reaction was OH MY GOD THEY KEPT IT!!!!! *proceeds to go nuts* One of The Live Songs Ever, a song I already loved before hearing it live, and possibly my favourite live song from the tour the year prior too. (I am pretty sure I screamed quite audibly and notably on the previous tour every time they played it, and I am happy to report I still feel exactly the same.) We all know this gets everyone out of their seats, and with this being Manchester it was especially amazing. It was so great to watch everyone equally going nuts from the balcony, party of all time! Russell's mic stopped working at some point though which was sad, but it only lead to him clapping and dancing harder. So mic be damned, it was possibly even more fun and special because of it.
You know there's little point in sitting down after Music That You Can Dance To (and I don't really want to sit down after that to begin with, if at all, but I am a bit self-conscious about dancing in the balcony), so we leaned on our seats for a second while the opening notes of When Do I Get To Sing My Way were played. It obviously *really* took off again rather quickly :D Unfortunately the mic problem came back but this time it was rapidly solved and Russell got to sing almost the whole song anyway, and I can not overstate how great it was to watch this whole audience dancing.
The party continued with The Number One Song In Heaven which obviously always wins, and of course included Ron's dance - HELL YEAH. However towards the end of the song Russell's microphone stopped working YET AGAIN. He was handed another microphone, which was equally not doing anything, and so he yeeted the mic. (all too right honestly, how many broken mics are you going to hand him?! That was not ok.) Of course this really sucked, especially for Russell, but this man's a true professional and made all of this extra fun for everyone: he went at it extra hard with the clapping and dancing and no one in the audience was going to let this ruin anything either. Russell gestured for the audience to sing the lines and we *really* did our best. ([salute emoji] On it boss!) It ended up being extra special because of it and we all still had the absolute best time. But of course at the same time it was rightfully upsetting. Once Russell had a mic that worked again he expressed his disappointment in not being able to sing the end of the song, which is one of his favourite parts. (Oof tech team, bad job.)
The show went on and Ron did a false start for This Town Ain't Big Enough For Both Of Us which is always a great time, people go nuts and then the song doesn't start hahaha. This audience was so phenomenal, it was the best time. And such a party when the song did properly start! Obviously there was a really large applause after that :) Which seemed to only stop because they started playing Gee, That Was Fun. It was so beautiful and touching. And really sad because indeed, noo, we don't want this to end! The standing ovation afterwards was massive and so very love filled. From my perspective even the bouncers seemed in awe with the audience. This audience could switch from going nuts to completely silent to a loving standing ovation in an instant, depending on what was happening on stage. It really was one of the best audiences I've been part of, I loved it so much! ^^ Ron and Russell very sweetly waved before leaving the stage :)
~Encore!~
They came back to a lot of cheering to which Russell said "Thank you - THE PARTY IS NOT OVER!" and we all cheered yet again, as A Love Story started. Another new song! WOOOOHH THIS WAS HITTING HARD! I loved it so much! And the lights with the massive X's were so cool! Absolutely a highlight! When My Baby's Taking Me Home started me and @where-did-the-groove-go yelled out in unison which is still so funny to me and also, all too right, all too right!!! It doesn't matter if you've seen it live a couple of times or if it's your first time - it HITS. The audience was once again utterly amazing, really heightening the experience. (ALSO, the rainbow lights that fades to white!)
During the band introduction Ron was still clapping for the other band members when Russell went "oh yeah..." and went to stand beside Ron and did a cheesy grin, "the guy who writes much of what you've heard this evening and what you've heard on albums 1 to 26", *Ron does a Ron-cringe*, "my big brother, Ron Mael." This started a RON RON RON chant which made me so happy :D When it seemed to die down just a tiny bit, Russell interrupted and said "He says thank you." asdjhds, sir XD He also added that Manchester shows are always amazing but "this one tops them all". [insert teary eyed smile emoji] (True though, it really was one of the best shows I've been to, if not the best one!) After that, All That was such a smiley lovely performance and I did quite a bit of internal screaming with how lovely exactly it all was and had been. (When I watch footage back I can't help but say "aww" out loud quite a few times. It really was so sweet.)
Something I hadn't realised as it happened but learned about later was that they were so happy with their bow - which was so fun. I had avoided spoilers of course but I learned that there was a bit of bowing-chaos in Oxford. So in Manchester there was a 'Wahey, we nailed the bow!!' moment after bowing XD (I made a post about that, it's too good.)
MASSIVE STANDING OVATION. Russell forced the microphone on Ron, saying "Here! He hasn't spoken on the tour so it's only cos it's Manchester", as he proceeds to evily walk away. This moment was so funny to me because Russell clearly knew very well what he was doing and Ron was just standing there smiling looking at this happening, with no chance of handing the mic back. His speech was wonderful and really sweet, starting off with saying that the citizens of other cities were going to hate him for this XD The audience was so silent while he spoke and didn't start cheering until he had actually finished speaking which was real nice. Russell wanted to grab the mic back after that but Ron didn't want to let it go yet, which was another moment I really enjoyed witnessing. Ron introduced Russell as the vocalist of the band, which had Russell standing there smiling really wide, after which Russell quickly grabbed the mic back. (I love them so much hahaha.) Russell asked to take a photo with "all of you fine people" (I am normal about this) and happily bounced after the photo was taken. The applause got going again and it was just the best. Russell blew kisses to people and the amount of love in the hall was just so damn high.
It felt like they didn't want to have to leave that stage and obviously we didn't want them to leave either. Everyone was just so happy to be there. What a show. What an audience. It really was the sweetest :)
Sparks setlist
So May We Start?
The Girl Is Crying In Her Latte
Eaten By The Monster Of Love
Angst In My Pants
Beaver O'Lindy
When I'm With You
Nothing Is As Good As They Say It Is
It Doesn't Have To Be That Way
Balls
Shopping Mall Of Love
The Toughest Girl In Town
Escalator
We Go Dancing
Bon Voyage
Music That You Can Dance To
When Do I Get To Sing 'My Way'
The Number One Song In Heaven (featuring Ron's dance)
This Town Ain't Big Enough For Both Of Us
Gee, That Was Fun
A Love Story
My Baby's Taking Me Home
All That
(I did not make it into the photo as I am behind Ron's head, but @where-did-the-groove-go and some other friends did make it in ^_^)
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~ Bonus: post show shenanigans ~
After the show we were hanging out with a little group of us in the entrance hall of the venue, quite a lot of our tumblr people and even some of our friends from Japan were present which was so cool! It was so very nice to see everyone, whether it was seeing again or for the first time! I went to say hello to Mr. B who was manning his own merch table to let him know how much I'd loved his set, and that covering Sparks isn't easy to do in my opinion but that he truly nailed it. He said he had been nervous about it and only had had 2 weeks to prepare. (Sir that's incredible!) He was really lovely. He said he hoped to see me again and I gave him the cringiest: "Oh, you WILL!" (With fingerguns.) (...I really am like this.)
Our little group decided to check out the artists entrance, but there were so many people there and so when Ron and Russell actually *did* come out me and another friend both instinctively hid behind a wall. (Normal behaviour. ...but we just really don't want to crowd them.) There was another round of applause, which was really lovely. I was very busy hiding behind that wall though so I am not the most reliable person to say what happened next, but Ron and Russell kept their distance and stayed for a little bit to wave and smile at people which was really lovely. When they entered their car to leave, the fans instantly parted like the sea to clear the road for the car and I love that our fandom is like that :) We all waved as they passed by, and then ...the car had to immediately stop in front of a red traffic light 5 metres away. I absolutely lost it, you just can't make this up XD (We left immediately.) It was so hard for our group to then have to split up after such a lovely evening, but attempts to sleep needed to be made and there was the journey to London the next day. (Not that we slept much at all, there was a lot to discuss and think about.) Luckily a lot of us would be going on to London so at least we'd all be seeing each other again soon :)
#wow I finally managed to write this! *gives myself a medal* - stay tuned for part 2!#sparks tour 2023#sparks tour 2023 europe#sparks#russell mael#ron mael#manchester#bridgewater hall#may 27 2023#2023#20's
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hello fellow members of the tortured poets department.
apologies for my absence from meeting, was being a little to tortured and not enough poet lately 😑.
but i would like to enter into evidence the songs for the days i missed. because it is late i might combine some songs together if they’re next to each other and if the idea for both over laps.
because of that this post will be analyzing fresh out the slammer and florida!!! but specifically how these songs start to explore more about the “american dream” theme that runs throughout the album. i’ve been waiting until these two songs to fully explore it as florida!!! is well… the most obvious place for me to start.
previous days: fortnight; THE TORTURED POETS DEPARTMENT; my boy only breaks his favorite toys; down bad; so long, london; but daddy i love him
references to america are prevalent throughout the album. this does make perfect sense actually considering taylor had set up home base in london and even wrote songs mentioning certain spots (and even liking a boy from london). so taylor choosing to focus the next album on america and coming home after being away fits very well. taylor spent years away because she was afraid of people and moved to a different country to get away. but when she was left all alone and the relationship ended (so long, london) she had to go back home.
this is what we see in fresh out the slammer. the song feels more like a transition song, ie. moving from one location to the other. the song over all is not one of my favorites on the album as while it is nice i don’t feel like it adds as much depth. though i do think it adds more details to certain things touched on. specifically with taylor personifying london as her former partner transitions a bit to this song as she refers to him as a place and what that place did to her. it’s especially interesting to me seeing her refer to it as a prison at times considering in reputation there was also those motifs too but with fame and she felt more sheltered with her then partner. but now it is shown to be also caging her. she ran from one cage to another to protect herself, which is valid, but is now realizing that instead of seeing it as a safe haven.
the main part i want to focus on the song though is how she refers to her next partner viewing her as “the girl of his american dreams”. this is an interesting line and totally not referencing the 1975 as it paints a very distinct picture. the phrase “the girl of his dreams” means the person he thinks would be the ideal partner. this is shown in the media though as negative or in a overwhelming personification with the “manic pixie dream girl” archetype. so already the phrase is on shakey ground, but there’s nothing wrong with saying a partner is “your dream” partner. it can be a compliment.
however, taylor specifically adding the “american dream” to the phrases changes it entirely. she’s now evoking the idea of the american dream that’s the pull yourself up by your boot straps and end up with a house, a car, a wife, and two kids idea. i’m not going to sit here and dissect THAT cause that’s a whole ass lecture. but taylor saying this man views her as “the girl of his american dreams” is saying that she is the ideal partner to settle down with and start a life with. to have a family and get married. which is also noted on many other tracks as something a partner did to her but never followed through. which is ironically what the american dream is. it’s a lie sold to people to keep working and they can hope for a better future. but in actuality they have to keep working and climbing relentlessly to achieve it and never can reach it.
so by taylor saying she’s the girl of his american dreams, he’s selling her a false narrative that she desperately wants and craves but he has no intention on following through and will just use her until he’s done. it’s a very interesting word choice i really like.
and how that idea connects to florida!!!
florida is probably one of the most notoriously known states in america next texas and new york. it’s a hub for weird stories and hurricanes and just all together a chaotic place. but people still love it. in fact, it’s also another part of the american dream as the idea for a lot of people is to retire in florida after they lived their life. which is why i wanted to combine these two as they flow into each other.
taylor uses florida as both a place physically but also metaphorically (and technically as a person if we view it as the “miracle move in drug”) which ties into her using london as both a place and person. florida is the “state” your in post break up and leans into the chaoticness of the actual state. she uses the wildness that everyone has of florida to describe a post break up high.
there are MANY things she uses to describe this. but let’s first look at her referring to her partner as a “hurricane with her name/i got drunk and i dared it to wash me away/barricaded in the bathroom with a bottle of wine”. hurricanes aren’t a stranger to florida and have done extensive damage to the state. but taylor refers to it as a storm with her name, ie. he was made just for her and in this state he’s out to destroy her because of how much damage their relationship did to her overall. but she acknowledges that she did tempt it, she did let it get this far and she had to drink her way through while hiding just to make it out alive.
but this florida, no one asks for questions about why you hate your ex because no one else in this state cares. in fact, they’ll help you hide the body if you help them. so taylor can throw her former lovers who she considered her home town (a reference to london boy “home is where the heart is, but that’s not where mine lives”/“but god i love the english”) but he never considered her more than a passing guest or her feeling like she was arrested there, because of her love for him and wanting to make it work or him keeping her locked away is open to interpretation. so she’s pissed, she’s running free and wanting to escape it all and is in the one state no one cares because they’re going through hell to and can’t bother to care about you.
in this case taylor is referring to florida as the clarity of post break up and running wild and free. which also does tie back into my previous days post about but daddy i love him as that plays into the classic romance piece of a forbidden love. it’s a very quintessential american idea of trucks through fences and small town elders saying to stay away from the good girl. and taylor even introduces it in fortnight by refrencing florida and “another night lost in america”. she is actively introducing the listener on page one to the idea of her longing to run away from it all and have freedom, but freedom looks different there than in florida.
bdilh->florida!!! just screams the idea of american hopes and dreams and young love. it’s wild and loud and messy and destructive and doesn’t see the future. which then later gets wrapped up somewhat in i hate it here from the anthology tracks. because taylor saying “i’d say the 1830’s but without all the racists and getting married off for the highest bid… nostalgia is a minds trick if i had been there i’d hate it” which can be her acknowledging that the idea this man sold to her and the freedom she fantasized about wasn’t what it actually was and hates it in hindsight.
this post is disjointed, and i apologize, but the idea of the american dream running through has been something i keep going back to on relistens and i wanted to introduce it to the community for discussion. thank you again for letting this be late.
#kelly babels#ttpdminutes#fresh out the slammer#florida!!!#the tortured poets department#song analysis
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christopher sneaking into chimney's room in fight or flight. he's so full of love, that's why his whole attitude in s7 re: dating is so callous and incongruent to who he is. like, this is the kid whose known chimney for all of half a year and decided he wanted sneak away from the adults/his dad to sit at his bedside and keep him company even though he was asleep/unconscious and you're telling ME he doesn't regard his girl friends feelings with the UTMOST care?????? get outta here with that. he really is a mini buck. feeling everything so deeply with absolutely no idea what to do with it all so he just smushes it down and creates different problems that don't need to exist. bless him.
#there's also something to be said about the whole nature vs. nurture of it all and the age old scientific question of#are we born or are we made#and there's something so. world defining. over the fact that christopher has spent so much time with buck he's subconsciously#picked up his worst coping habits. and it truly is a subconscious thing because it's not like buck/eddie are talking to their kid about how#buck used to be a ho (affectionate) so that introduces this other idea of christopher's subconscious processing#both of like. buck's relationships and why those relationships ended#blahblahblah anyway no one fucking cares jack i KNOW trust me i know i'm just talking to myself here but hm! interesting!#tv: 911#jack.txt#christopher diaz
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