#i knew someone would eventually come at me
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hii i have an alessia russo request :)
basically reader is a huge fuckgirl and everyone knows this, then when she meets alessia after alessias transfer to arsenal they become really close and start sleeping together but r makes it clear it’s just casual, then lessi starts catching feelings for her and r is aware of it but she is kinda playing with alessias feelings and showing mixed signals, eventually lessi breaks down and starts yelling at r about how cruel she’s being by playing with her feelings, happy ending though please maybe there’s an explanation on why r was acting the way she was?
also please write it with a bottom!alessia :)
No strings || Alessia Russo x Bronze!reader
Warning smut 18+, ab riding, fingering, orgasm denial, bottom!alessia, top!reader
It’s a long one :)
Moving to Arsenal from Barcelona had been a hard move.
You knew it would be a hard move but you had prepared yourself for it.
The worst part of it all was the fact you were leaving your big sister, Lucy, behind.
Over the summer, you had been too focused on the World Cup to think about the dread of moving, but once you reached the airport, Lucy approached to say goodbye and that’s when it finally hit you.
You hated it.
You hated the fact you had to move.
But you had to. You had to leave.
You had to leave her.
Her being Jana Fernández.
You and Jana had been dating since you were both twenty and had dated for two years, however, when you were still madly in love with her, she came to you and said she had fallen out of love with you. She told you that you weren’t the one for her, and that killed you.
Once you’d broken up with Jana, it just became awkward and toxic to be around her.
Every training, you purposely avoided her but it became impossible to do that when you were always put at partners for training.
So you left.
You left everything behind so you could have a new beginning, and you wanted that.
You promised you wouldn’t fall in love again, not for a while at least, but that rule started to fade once you saw her, Alessia Russo.
Still being 22, you were playing with the under 23s, however, within the days prior to meeting her, you had received your call up for the World Cup.
Due to the fact you were only getting your call up then, you had never met Alessia but Lucy and Kiera had both told many stories with a certain blonde striker in them.
Alessia and you signed your contracts for Arsenal on the same day and the photographers suggested you take pictures together, which meant Arsenal got to show off their two new signings that could potentially be the future of English football.
It was only after the shoots that Alessia spoke to you.
“You’re Lucy’s sister aren’t you?” Alessia asked and you nodded in response, worried that you’d stutter if you opened your mouth. “You two look alike.” It was the truth. You and Lucy really did look alike. You both were tall, muscular, tattooed.
“Alessia, right?” You questioned, already knowing the answer and was confirmed when she nodded. “I’ve heard lots about you from Luce and Kiera. I’m guessing you’re the blonde striker that goes by Less in their stories.”
“They talk about me? What stories do they tell you?”
“There was this one story where you supposedly tripped over someone’s boot and face planted the floor.” You slightly giggled as Alessia’s face went a light shade of red. “Don’t worry, I’m clumsy too. Ask Luce. I’ve always been clumsy since I was a toddler. Running into stuff, tripping over things, everyone says they’re surprised I don’t trip over the ball when I play football.”
“No way, I get told that all the time.” You and Alessia laughed as the similarities you shared arose.
“Anyway, I best go, my plane back to Barca is in a few hours and you know what London traffic is like.” You joked and Alessia smiled. “See you in Australia?”
“Yeah, I’ll see you in Australia.” Alessia confirmed and with a small smile, you waved and left leaving a very confused Alessia.
Alessia had never come across a girl who made her feel the way you made her which racked her brain full of questions about you, and herself.
———————
“Luce, come on, I don’t like her. I can’t like her.” You complained as Lucy kept going on and on about you liking Alessia.
Once you’d gotten back from London, you told Lucy your encounter with Alessia and she had been teasing you for the past week.
You were currently on the way to London to meet up with the team before making your way to Australia for the World Cup.
“Yeah, but you do deep down, don’t you?” Lucy asked, desperate to get the truth from you.
“Kiera, please tell her to stop.” You begged, for the fourth time, as Kiera looked, unimpressed, at the both of you.
“Lucy, stop it.” Was all Kiera said and it was your turn to look unimpressed at her.
“Look, Luce, I get it. You’re my older sister, you want to know who I like, but I can’t like Alessia. Not after Jana.” You explained and Lucy gave you a sympathetic look. “And anyway, Alessia doesn’t even like girls.”
“Listen, kid, as your older sister, it’s not just my job to know who you like, but it’s also my job to make sure you’re happy, and if I think you’d be happy with Alessia, I say to shoot your shot.” Lucy told you and you nodded along, pretending to listen to her when actually you were blocking her voice out because you knew you wouldn’t do what she was saying.
Once Lucy had finished talking, she pressed resume on her laptop and went back to watching her film which you were grateful for because it meant that you didn’t have to continue the conversation.
———————
“Y/N, hi.” You heard a voice say before a pair of arms wrapped around you.
“Hi Alessia.” You said, taken aback at how sudden the action was.
“How are you? How was your flight from Barcelona?” Alessia questioned, you figured to try make conversation.
“It was good. A bit of turbulence and Lucy being annoying, but other than that, fine.” You replied, grabbing your suitcase before starting to walk away, hoping to end the conversation with your action but nope, Alessia grabbed hers too, walking side by side with you.
“Oh, why was Lucy being annoying?” Alessia asked and you mentally screamed.
As much as you wanted to speak to Alessia, like you really really wanted to, you couldn’t.
Could you?
“Just being herself, you know?” You lied, definitely not being able to tell Alessia the truth.
“Y/N!” You hear Georgia shout from across the terminal and you let out a small thankful sigh, not loud enough for Alessia to pick up on it though.
“I’ll see you on the plane, okay? Bye less.” You smiled at her, before walking to Georgia who enveloped you in a hug.
——————
To say you had had the best weeks of your life was an understatement.
Smashing through the group stages and winning against Nigeria, the whole team had an excited buzz around them.
The only thing that could make the summer even better, was if you could just admit your feelings to Alessia.
Over the past weeks, you and her had grown closer and closer, and you were definite that feelings were there for her but you pushed them away, also definite that your feelings were wrong.
To celebrate the win against Colombia, the whole team decided to go out after the match.
It had started with you saying you weren’t drinking much, but with constant nagging from Lucy, Mary, and a few other girls to drink, you figured you might as well.
You deserved to and it also meant you could get them off your back.
Once you had your first drink, you expected to feel a bit tipsy and then that would have been time to head home.
However, what you didn’t expect to happen, was to be drunkenly taking Alessia back to your room.
Whilst at the bar, flirty and needy touches from both, you and Alessia, had occurred and you took Alessia’s hand in yours, leading her outside before planting your lips on hers.
“Stay in my room tonight.” You whispered in her ear, breaking your lips from her jaw.
Alessia nodded almost immediately, moving to look you in your eyes before pressing her lips on yours.
From that moment, you booked a taxi and eventually ended back at the hotel, you and Alessia the only ones there.
You led Alessia upstairs, not letting your lips off her.
As you entered the room, you pinned Alessia against the wall, moving your lips down her neck whilst her hands tangled themselves in your hair.
A small sigh escaped Alessia’s mouth, her grip in your hair tightening as you continued to attack the sweet spot on her neck.
“Fuck” she murmured, whilst you licked the sensitive, fast growing mark on her neck.
You grabbed ahold of the bottom of her shirt, pulling it quickly over her head, before reconnecting your lips with her body.
This time, instead of moving to her neck, you pressed your lips to her collarbone and down to her chest, just above where her bra sat.
“Move to the bed?” You questioned, pulling away from her body.
“Please.” She whined as you grabbed the back of thighs, lifting her up, effortlessly, and carrying her to the bed.
You placed her down in the centre of the bed before climbing above her.
“Fuck, you look so good beneath me.” You whispered in her ear whilst reaching beneath her to unclip her bra.
“Take this off.” Alessia told you, playing with the hem of your shirt.
You sat up, nearly ripping the shirt off you, your abs flexing at the cool air.
You watched as Alessia’s eyes trailed down your body to your abs, her eyes growing when she landed on them.
You smirked lightly before grabbing the top of her trousers, pulling down swiftly along with her underwear.
“Please hurry up.” Alessia mumbled, your mouth quickly attaching itself to her right nipple.
“Patience, pretty girl.” You told her, your voice husky which clearly affected Alessia because the moan she let out was almost pornographic.
Your tongue swirled around her nipple, your teeth often biting down gently to give her even more pleasure.
“Please, Y/N.” Alessia begged, and you lifted your head to look at her.
Her eyes were screwed shut, her head against the bed.
You locked eyes with hers once they opened, the blue that you’d fallen in love with was the only thing you could focus on.
“Are you sure you want this?” You asked, needing the confirmation before continuing.
“I want this, I’ve wanted this for a long time.” She revealed and you lowered yourself so you were in line with her pussy.
Planting teasing kisses to her inner thighs, you eventually thought it was time and connected your mouth with her mouth.
Alessia sucked a breath in as you made contact with her.
The whole experience was intoxicating for you.
The taste of her was intoxicating.
The smell of her was intoxicating, the perfume she wore was all you could smell.
Her laugh was intoxicating.
“You taste so good.” You moaned shamelessly into her pussy which made her buck her hips into your face.
You grabbed ahold of her thighs, keeping them in place whilst you continued to eat her out.
Your tongue took turns between going to her core and to her clit.
“I’m so close.” Alessia breathed out, her breath uneven and ragged.
You hummed in response, sending vibrations through Alessia’s body, moving her closer and closer to the edge.
The sounds escaping Alessia’s mouth made you feel like you were in heaven.
You felt Alessia’s pussy begin to clench so with a final lick you pulled away, leaving a very confused and angry Alessia.
“What? I was so close.” Alessia whined, out of breath.
“I know, pretty girl, but you’re gonna cum. I promise.”
You wiped your mouth, due to it being covered in Alessia’s juices, before leaning down to kiss her.
She moaned into the kiss due to her tasting herself.
As you deepened the kiss, you felt Alessia’s hand work its way to your abs, slowly tracing her fingers over them.
You smirked into the kiss, knowing how much she loved them.
“‘m gonna flip you, okay?” You stated and switched your positions so now, head was against the headboard and Alessia straddled your hips, more so your torso.
She bucked her hips at the contact with your abs.
You grabbed ahold of her hips, slowly guiding her up and down your abs.
“That’s it, pretty girl.” You praised her as she started to pick up the pace of her hips.
Moans escaped Alessia’s mouth and she increased her speed.
With the sensitivity from the denied orgasm, you figured Alessia would cum quickly and as you expected, she did.
It didn’t take long for her to mumble that she was close.
“Fuck, I’m gonna cum. Oh god — ‘m gonna cum.” Alessia nearly screamed, and at that point, you flipped her again so she was beneath you and you slipped your fingers into her.
You continuously pumped in and out of her, to push her over the edge.
Curling your fingers to a particular spot, she moaned for the final time and her legs spasmed around your arm.
“God, I love you so much. I’ve loved you for ages, Y/N. I’ve wanted your lips on mine for months.” Alessia revealed and your face turned white.
You were speechless.
You didn’t know what to think. Maybe it was just post orgasm talk. Or maybe it was the truth.
“And I’m not just saying that because you just gave me the best orgasm of my life. I really do like you, Y/N.” Alessia admitted.
Bingo. There was your answer.
Thoughts swirled through your head.
You liked her back. You know you do. But you couldn’t. You knew you couldn’t.
“I’m gonna get a clean cloth and I’ll help you clean up.” You told her, desperately trying to change the topic.
“Oh, okay.” Alessia said, the sparkle in her eyes disappearing which killed you to think that you were the reason for the action.
You promised yourself from that moment that you wouldn’t sleep with anyone, especially Alessia, until you were ready for an actual relationship.
Seeing Alessia hurt and confused killed you, and you didn’t want to experience that again.
You broke that promise though.
Following the win against Australia, the girls went drinking and Alessia ended up in your bed again.
It wasn’t planned and you didn’t intend for her to end there.
But similarly, you left her confused and hurt when you came up with an excuse for her to go.
You hated it.
You hated yourself for making her go through torture.
But most of all, you hated yourself for giving her mixed signals.
You ignore her when you walk past her, but then sleep with her.
You pretend like you don’t know her, but then sprint to her when she scores.
You show her that you don’t like her, but then show her that you love her.
You figured Alessia would snap at you at some point.
What you didn’t expect, was for her to snap at you at the worst time possible.
After the final and the loss to Spain, the team went out for a final time, hoping the drink would take away their emotions.
The night consisted of alcohol, dancing and jealousy.
The jealousy part in all the girls who were jealous of Spain for taking the win, but for you, it was a different type of jealousy.
Throughout the night, a bloke had made his way to Alessia, a flirty smirk resting on his face.
You saw Alessia smile back and within the space of a few hours, they’d gone from talking, to his hands resting on her hips as they danced.
You hadn’t realised just how jealous you were until Mary pointed it out.
“Mini Bronze, what’s with the frown and the red face? Angry are we?” Millie teased and the rest of the team agreed.
Instead of responding, you got out of your seat, stomping over to Alessia and the guy before pushing him away from Alessia.
“Get away from her.” You almost shouted as he pushed back.
“Why?” He snarled, harshly pushing you again. “Are you her girlfriend?”
“What if I was? Have a problem with that?” You squared up to him before he threw a punch.
You eyed him down, throwing a harder punch back.
You felt a pair of arms wrap around you and Lucy telling you to stop.
She separated you and the bloke before telling him to get out.
“What’s your problem?” You heard Alessia shout at you.
It took you, and the rest of the team, by shock at her shouting because she never raised her voice.
“You give me signs that you like me and then you ignore me! You fucking sleep with me, but then walk straight past me the next day. I like you Y/N! Why can’t you just tell me if you like me back? I just want an answer!” Alessia continued to shout.
You watched everyone’s jaws drop at the sudden reveal.
“I do. I do like you Alessia. I’ve liked you since Lucy and Kiera would come home talking about this climbs blonde striker. But I can’t love you. I can’t.” Your voice broke as you said the final sentence.
“Why? Why can’t you love me?”
“Because…” You were about to explain but remembered all the people who had surrounded you, including your big sister and all your teammates. “Can we go outside?”
Alessia nodded, and you both walked out the door and into the darkness that surrounded the bar.
“Why can’t you love me, Y/N, because I need to know. I need to know if you love me or not. Because I’m wasting my life waiting for you when potentially, you don’t even like me back.”
“I can’t love you because I loved Jana and she left me. I loved her and she said randomly one day that she didn’t love me anymore. I don’t want that to happen to us, because I love you too much Alessia. I think I loved you before I even met you. I don’t want to lose you and if that means staying friends, then so it stays.” You explained, Alessia’s face changing from anger to sympathy. “I wish I could love you Alessia, I really want to. But I don’t want any of us to get hurt.”
“I don’t care if I get hurt, Y/N. And I promise I won’t hurt you. I’d rather quit football than hurt you. I’d give up football in a heartbeat for you, and that’s telling you something. Please, let me love you.” Alessia said, inching closer and closer until she stated the last sentence against your lips.
“I’ll never stop loving you.” You whispered against hers before connecting them.
This time, the kiss was slow and full of love.
“I’m so sorry for everything, Less. I never meant to hurt you. I never meant to confuse you.” You rambled as you pulled away from the kiss.
“It’s okay. I understand, I promise you, I understand. That’s in the past now.”
Alessia was true.
Jana and that experience was your past, Alessia was now your future.
#woso#woso community#woso x reader#woso imagine#womens football#woso fanfics#woso smut#alessia russo#alessia russo imagine#alessia russo x reader#alessia russo smut
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hi! Can you do a Spencer x fem reader where it's her birthday and he promised her he would be there for the party even if there was a case and he calls her right as the party starts and she's so excited and asks him if he's on his way but he says no and he's sorry but there's an important case and he can't make it and she is absolutely CRUSHED but tells him it's ok and she has to go. She can't really focus or be happy during her party and when it's over she's crying in their bed and then her best friend calls Spencer and yells at him bc reader thinks he will always love his job more than her and that the BAU is his priority and he just feels so awful. He comes home early and apologizes and gives her his gifts he got for her and pampers her and makes her feel so loved.
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birthday blues (part one)- s.reid
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a/n: i absolutely adore this idea! thank you so much for requesting and sorry that we didn't get to the happy ending yet... but we will eventually!
summary: spencer makes a choice that leaves you alone on an important day and causes something in your relationship breaks.
pairing: spencer reid x fem reader
warnings: birthday blues, spencer's an ass, your best friend calls spencer a lot of names and curse words, talks of breaking up, no happy ending :(
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Your phone rang and you knew what it was. There you were surrounded by your friends in your apartment, getting ready for your birthday party, and your stupid boyfriend had to ruin it all.
You picked up. “Hey Spencer,” you sighed, but attempted to mask it with a smile.
You could hear the deep inhale on his end and it solidified what you already knew. “You can’t come, right?” You said it for him.
“I’m so sorry,” he sighed. “It’s just-“
“Another case. I get it Spencer, it’s fine,” you lied.
The line was quiet for a moment.
“Happy birthday,” he said sheepishly. “I love you.”
You scoffed. For a profiler, he wasn’t exactly good at noticing things. Like the subtle shake in your voice, or the small hiccups of tears you tried (and failed) to suppress when you hung up the phone without saying you loved him.
You turned to your best friend Rebecca, a sad look on your face. “He’s not coming.”
She rolled her eyes. “He’s such a fucking asshole. When is he ever going to just show up for you? It’s your birthday for god’s sake. He missed when you got promoted, he missed your gallery opening, he missed your anniversary and he’s missing your birthday? Why are you even with him?”
You felt the pressure build up in your throat and she pulled you into your bathroom and held you as you sobbed. She sent everyone home, saying you were sick and she called the restaurant and cancelled the reservation. You got out of the dress Spencer had bought you, a beautiful wine colour that complimented you in all the right places. You sat in your bed and cried for hours as Rebecca comforted you with old Disney movies you two watched as kids and your favourite ice cream and some salty popcorn.
“I just feel like he values his job over me… like I don’t even make top 4 in his list of priorities,” you sighed, your eyes glued to ‘Tangled’ as it played. “Like… look at him! He’s so in love with her!” You pointed at the screen and Rebecca had to surprise a laugh over you being jealous of Flynn Rider and Rapunzel, two fictional characters. “Don’t laugh at me!” You scoffed at her, shoving her in the arm as she started giggling.
“I’m not!” She said through laughter. She alighted made you laugh, and you two were stuck like that for a few minutes, laughing so hard you could hardly breathe. “Ok! Ok! Look, to be serious, you deserve so much better than Spencer. You need someone who cares about you more than his job, someone who can actually be here when you need him.”
You nodded along, the weight of her words heavy on your mind.
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When you finally cried yourself to sleep Rebecca took your phone from your bedside table and dialled his number.
“Hey love, are you alright?-“ he started but she cut him off.
“I’m so glad I’m finally meeting you, even if it’s just over the phone because now I know what a fucking asshole sounds like. You idiotic bitch. Stop calling Y/n and let her be with someone who cares enough to be there for important things in her life. Who cares enough to meet her friends. Who cares about her in the slightest!” She argued over the line. “She spent her entire birthday night in her bed crying over you, when she should’ve been out with her family and friends. You’re such a dick!” She seethed. “So yeah, stop calling this number.”
The line went dead and Spencer felt his heart drop. You’d spent your special night crying over him.
He was an asshole.
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He’d booked the first flight out of Denver and told Hotch it was important, he understood and allowed him to go.
He showed up outside your apartment bright and early, 5am in the morning. Rebecca opened the door and promptly shut it in his face, something he knew he deserved but it still hurt nonetheless.
“Please can I just talk to her?” He begged from his side of the door.
“She’s asleep,” she scoffed. “Why are you here?”
“I need to see her,” he pleaded, and Rebecca cracked the door. “Please Rebecca.”
“Give me a good reason,” she said as you walked out of the bedroom.
“Who’s at the door?” you yawned and Rebecca sighed as Spencer started begging you to open the door.
“Is that you baby? C-can you open the door? I’m so sorry baby I didn’t mean to-”
“Rebecca open the door.”
She sighed but obliged and stepped out as Spencer stepped in. Immediately, you were in his arms as he kissed you softly, apologies rolling off his tongue in between kisses. As much as you enjoyed him being in your arms, it still felt superficial and wrong. His face fell when you pushed him off of you. His eyes followed your figure as you walked to the kitchen and put on the white kettle that sat beside the coffee machine he’d gotten you last year.
“What are you doing here?” you sniffled, posture and body language guarded as you waited for the water to boil.
“It’s your birthday,” he shrugged with a sad smile. “I wanted to be with you.”
“You were perfectly happy leaving me alone 11 hours ago. What changed?”
“I realised I messed up, and some choice words from Rebecca helped me along,” he sighed. How was he supposed to fix this?
Guilt started to settle in your stomach. Were you really right to be upset right now? Even since you were a child you were told to ‘be grateful’. You were told to ‘be grateful’ when you stopped getting presents when you were 11, when you stopped getting cards when you were 14, when you watched your dad shower his other children from his new marriage with gifts while he didn’t even notice you in his house. You should be grateful that Spencer was even wishing you a happy birthday earlier, how could you be so ungrateful?
“You should be on the case, I’ll order you a taxi back to the airport and I’ll pay you back for the ticket-” you rushed out, reaching for your phone but Spencer’s hand stopped you.
“I want to be here,” he pleaded. “Please don’t make me go away.”
You looked up at him through teary eyes and his hand came up to cup your cheek, wiping the tears away.
“I’m so sorry I ever thought it was ok to miss your birthday. You are the single most important thing in my life and I’m sorry that I’m not here as much as I’d like to be,” he smiled softly, but you could tell he was serious. You allowed yourself to be lost in the fantasy for a moment, being the most important thing in Spencer’s life.
But, as always, reality sunk in and it left a sour taste in your mouth, leading to another change in body language which Spencer picked up on immediately. “What? What’s wrong?”
“Spencer, your job always takes priority over us- over me. Which is fine. I know my place. Just please don’t make promises you can’t keep from now on, okay? My parents were dying to meet you, and now I had to cancel the entire dinner. I just… I know you can’t be here all the time, but I do expect you to show up for things like this. I don’t care when you miss anniversaries or my promotions-”
Spencer’s heart dropped. “Y-you got promoted… and you never told me?”
“You were in New York,” you shrugged. “On a case with no end in sight. Why should I make your life harder?”
“You’d never make my life harder. You make my life worth it, worth all the shit I do. I want you to tell me everything baby, always-”
“Spencer, it’s okay to say that you’re inconvenienced by our relationship,” you said in a watery chuckle. “I understand, and I’d get it if you’re too busy for this.”
Spencer’s breath caught in his throat. Were you really suggesting breaking-up?
“I think we should talk another time Spencer, I’ll drive you to your apartment,” you sighed, grabbing your keys. Spencer was much too exhausted and in shock to put up a fight, so he followed you to your car.
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The drive was silent, but full of an awkward silence. Silences with Spencer had never been awkward, always pleasant, or comforting. Never awkward.
When you dropped him off outside his apartment, he leaned over to kiss you, but you dodged him with a hug. You felt as a small, internal sob racked his body but tried to convince yourself that it was just a hiccup.
What were you going to do?
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criminal minds masterlist :)
navigation for my blog :) (criminal minds, marvel, top gun, challengers, the bear, the hunger games, obx+)
#criminal minds#criminal minds imagine#criminal minds fandom#criminal minds fic#criminal minds x reader#bau team#spencer reid#doctor spencer reid#spencer reid criminal minds#spencer reid x fem!reader#spencer reid x reader#spencer reid x you#spencer reid x y/n#spencer reid x self insert
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Yandere Hannibal Lecter/Will Graham Headcanons (Poly!Romantic)
❝ 🍽 — lady l: I finally managed to post this!! I really liked the result and I hope you like it :) forgive me for any mistakes and good reading. 💙🤎
❝tw: obsessive and possessive behavior, manipulation, kidnapping, death and mention of suicide and violence, toxic relationships.
❝🔪pairing: yandere!hannibal lecter x gender neutral!reader x yandere!will graham.
The idea of someone else coming into their relationship wasn't something they planned or thought about. They were still getting used to the new dynamics of their relationship, so actually adding a third person wasn't in the cards. But when Hannibal and Will met you, that thought took root in their minds.
You were like a breath of fresh air to them. Something new, exciting, and something they could keep to themselves, as a new addition to their new lives. And they were eager to make you fit into your new life with them.
Initially, Hannibal and Will watched you from a distance, exchanging conspiratorial glances and smiles, as if sharing a silent secret. Every interaction with you only reinforced the idea that you were the missing piece to the puzzle they were putting together. They had no doubt that you would be theirs eventually, whether you wanted it or not.
Hannibal, with his calculating nature and magnetic charm, began to engage you with his intellectual conversations and sophisticated dinners, demonstrating an almost mesmerizing hospitality. He knew exactly how to capture your attention and make you feel special, he knew how to make you feel indispensable.
Will, on the other hand, with his sensitivity and keen perception, found subtle ways to connect with you. He understood you in a way few could, offering a shoulder to lean on and a deep understanding of your emotions and thoughts. His sincere vulnerability was a perfect contrast to Hannibal's confident assurance.
You found yourself torn between these two poles of attraction, each complementing the other in a way that seemed almost orchestrated. Hannibal and Will became more and more indispensable, each encounters deepening your connection and making the idea of leaving their circle more and more unthinkable.
Finally, a dinner at Hannibal's house that felt more like a secret celebration than a simple meal. The tension in the air was palpable, filled with unspoken promises and unspoken desires. Hannibal and Will, with complicit looks, began to close the distance between the three of you, breaking down the last remaining barriers. They didn't hide their intentions anymore, nor what they were. There was no more secret.
They knew perfectly well how to manipulate you, how to make you trust them completely. Every interaction, every gesture, was carefully calculated to deepen their dependence and trust. Hannibal, with his ability to read people and understand their weaknesses, knew exactly what to say to make you feel valued and special. His words were like a balm, soothing any doubts you might have had.
Will, in turn, used his innate empathy to connect with you on a deep emotional level. He knew how to make you feel understood and accepted, creating an intimacy that seemed almost magical. His eyes reflected a sincerity that was difficult to question, and his presence offered a comfort that became addictive.
They were both good to you, in their own way. Hannibal would always cook you your favorite meals, and treat you to anything you want. Do you want to go on a ridiculously expensive trip? No problem. He will give you all the best and the best, bathing you in luxury. Will is more simplistic in this situation, he prefers to show his love for you through touches, like kisses and hugs, but he also gives you gifts when you want something.
Will is the more affectionate of the two, at least physically. He likes to hug you constantly, bury his head in your neck or steal kisses from you. Hannibal is already more subtle in his touches, he prefers to place a hand on your shoulder, lift your chin so that you look him in the eyes and kiss your forehead gently.
They are extremely possessive and overprotective and this is nothing new. Hannibal will kill and cook anyone who gives you the wrong look or displays inappropriate behavior around you. To him, you are a treasure that must be protected at all costs, and he will not hesitate to use his macabre skills to ensure your safety. Any perceived threat is quickly eliminated and transformed into a feast only you can enjoy.
Will, on the other hand, has a different but equally intense approach. He is more than willing to beat anyone to death if he thinks they are trying to steal you from them. His anger is raw and direct, driven by an intense passion and a desperate need to protect those he loves and he loves you, even if it's in a twisted way. For Will, you are the anchor that maintains his sanity, and he will do anything to maintain that stability, even if it means committing extreme acts of violence.
Hannibal and Will are an amazing duo when they work together and if they want you, they will get you. While Will may have reservations about kidnapping you and forcing you into a relationship with them, Hannibal already thinks otherwise. You are theirs and there is nothing wrong with taking what is yours, is there?
There is no escaping them. You can try as much as you want, but they will always find you. They are great at hunting together and they would hunt you all over the world if necessary. You won't leave them, they will be sure of that.
In the end, you become part of their world, accepting that, although complex and sometimes terrifying, it is the only place you truly belong. They own you, and you, in some way, also own them, creating an indissoluble bond that redefines the concept of relationship. The sooner you accept that this is your new reality and accept them as your partners, everything will be fine. But if not, Hannibal will have no problem teaching you manners and Will are going to be there to help heal your wounds and silence your cries.
#hannibal nbc#nbc hannibal#hannibal lecter x reader#hannibal x reader x will#will graham x reader#yandere hannigram#yandere hannibal lecter#yandere hannibal lecter x reader#yandere will graham#yandere will graham x reader#yandere hannigram x reader#hannigram x reader#x reader#hannibal lecter x reader x will graham#yandere hannibal x reader x will#yandere hannibal#yandere hannibal lecter x reader x will graham#yandere headcanons#headcanons
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There's something so fucking special about how seriously Buck and Eddie have taken having each other's backs over the years. That could have been a throwaway line from 2x01 and instead it's become the foundation for their relationship. It's become so fundamental to who they are as people they it's just a natural state of being.
We've seen it time and time again and every time I see it again it makes me warm all over. These two men are there for each other during the good times, sure, but they're also there during the bad times. They let each other see the mess under the facade and that's so fucking stunning.
They're allowed to break around the other because they know someone has their back. The only real fight they've gotten into was about Eddie not being able to reach out to Buck. It wasn't about something one of them did to the other, it was about the absence of the other.
Of course Eddie trusts Buck with Chris's life - he trusts Buck with anything. Of course Buck comes running when Eddie is having a breakdown - there's no where else he wants to be more than having Eddie's back.
Every season we see it again and again. If there's anger at one of their choices, that anger quickly fades to worry and a desire to understand each other.
Eddie wasn't a part of the cheer up Buck parade in s6 because he knew Buck didn't need that and he was waiting when Buck was ready to talk. And when Buck showed up at Eddie's house, Eddie wasn't surprised, he knew it would happen eventually. And he didn't push, he just asked if he was allowed to ask how Buck is and Buck finally opened up.
Buck went directly to Eddie when he met Kim because he was worried about Eddie and Eddie told him right away about what was going on. Buck wasn't mad, he was concerned. "I'm worried about you" followed by Eddie admitted he's worried about himself too. Something he was finally allowed to say out loud because Buck was there and Buck offers no judgement, just support.
Seeing those stills of Buck at the Diaz house, of Buck in the same room as the Diaz parents is making me a little bit insane. He's going to keep having Eddie's back because that's what they do. They love each other and support each other and hold each other up when they know the other is going to collapse.
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Strawberry Princess Chapter Six ‘Heated Kisses and Comfort Gifts’
Pairing - OT7 BTS x Reader , Hybrid!BTS x Hybrid!Reader
Genre - Hybrid!Au , Hybrid BTS x Hybrid Reader, fluff, angst, eventual smut, slow burn? , alternative reality , strangers to lovers , strangers to friends, friends to lovers
Warnings - so much fluff, the boys being sweethearts, Y/n doubts herself, slight anxiety, distress and cramps, tension, suggestive, kissing, gets quite steamy but NO SMUT YET - lmk if there’s any more !
Summary - When a certain hybrid starts to appear whenever Jungkook is at the gym, an immediate pull is felt between the two and their eventual friendship soon is spread to the rest of his pack.
Previous Next Overview
Breakfast or more like lunch, was filled with laughter and smiles even though everyone had a strong headache, they didn’t mind as the night that caused it was a memory that they wouldn’t trade for the world. They sat for over an hour, nibbling at Jins food and reminiscing the night before everyone started to finish up.
Y/n suddenly realised how she’d have to go home soon, she felt like they all knew that as a slightly less sweet air surrounded everyone, they all just hoped to see her as soon as possible, or for her to just not leave at all. Unfortunately they couldn’t have the second option that day as Y/n and Jungkook slowly stood up, he let her know that he would drive her home and she gathered her clothes and the clothes she intended to wash before returning along with her phone.
When she came back, Jungkook had put on his leather jacket and trainers, holding his car keys and looked ridiculously attractive and exactly what Y/n could describe as boyfriend material. His hair was messy as if he’d been running his hands through it over and over, or as if someone had been pulling it, his lips were slightly red and glossy as his tongue darted out to wipe over them, his tongue piercing catching the light for a split second. She found herself craving to be back in the moment where he kissed her and she knew she was staring at him like he was the tastiest thing she’d ever seen but he really was.
It was comical how different they looked next to eachother, Jungkook in all black with a black leather jacket to top it all off while Y/n was in Jins baby pink hoodie and soft cotton Pajama pants and fluffy pink socks. He towered over her too and they looked like complete opposites but it worked so well.
Y/n stopped her thirsty observation of Jungkook to look at the rest of his mates, still in the kitchen.
“Thank you all so much for an amazing night and for having me, your just so kind and lovely all of you and I hope we can see eachother again soon” - Y/n’s words brought a big smile to all of their faces as she spoke to them.
“Thank you for coming Y/n, we will see each other soon yeah?” - Namjoon spoke softly as he was standing by the kitchen island but was taken by complete surprise as Y/n seemed to hesitate for a split second before making her way over to him and wrapping her arms around him, her tail instinctively wrapping itself around him too as her head rested on his broad chest, well below his head as he looked down and wrapped his own arms around her smaller body, a wide smile and slight blush on his cheeks. It felt amazing to have her in his arms and he leant his head down to be closer to her and held his arms there until she started to loosen, pulling back with a smile that went up to her eyes.
She stepped away and moved to the closest person in the room who happened to be Jin, standing up next to the island too. She repeated her movements and Jin held her warmly with a gentle hold as if she was fragile but with enough strength to show he wanted her to stay forever.
They both hesitantly let go before she turned to the rest, all around the island table and Hoseok was the closest from her position, he opened his arms with a wide smile and she practically ran into his embrace, feeling more than happy to see he wanted it before she even got too close.
He squeezed her before they let go and Y/n moved down the table to Taehyung who looked at her, once she was within reach he grabbed her by her hips and pulled her in, she fell into his chest with her arms around his neck and giggled to cover the way her stomach filled with butterflies at him basically manhandling her.
They held eachother tight before she moved again, to Yoongi who gently pulled her in, this time it was different as Yoongi watched Y/n’s tail suddenly start swinging as it did when she was being playful when they first met and he started to wonder why. His questions were answered as Y/n’s hand reached out from behind his back and swiped his tail, leaning into him more to get it as much as possible before she whispered in his ear
“I got you, I’m fast enough now” - Yoongi let out a deep chuckle and praised her, letting her have this one when he knows he could have done the exact same thing back. He squeezed her a bit tighter as he let go before letting her move.
The final hug before she left was for Jimin who opened his arms wide and smiled so wide his eyes closed as she launched herself into his arms, her arms laying around his neck as he squeezed her tighter than the others, they rocked on the spot for a second before Y/n pulled back a tiny bit and Jimin ran his hands up and down from her hips up her back. Y/n felt more confident with skinship with Jimin for some reason and felt that even though she wanted to do this to all of the others, she was confident he wouldn’t mind whereas the others might so she took her chance and leaned forward, finding his soft cheek and pressing her plump lips to it. Jimins eyebrows flew up and his face grew so red but he immediately returned a kiss to her own cheek with a wide smile, the feeling of her plush cheeks against his lips was amazing and her own blush made him giggle. Everyone was envious of their interaction but understood that with time they could have the same.
Y/n hesitantly said her final goodbyes before Jungkook walked her to the door and she suddenly stopped, looking conflicted.
“What’s wrong Y/nie?” - Jungkook asked concerned
“I haven’t got any shoes, I only brought my heels” - Jungkook made a face of realisation before thinking for a second and instead of logically getting a pair of sliders that she could take, he decided to go his own way and walked closer to her. She stood confused and made a squeak as he bent to her level, sliding his strong arm under her legs and lifting her up, bridal style.
“Jungkook what are you doing!?” - She clung onto his neck for dear life at his actions but he just laughed and walked out the front door, easily steadying her with one hand so he could close it before taking her to the elevator.
Their journey to his car consisted of the same position while they both laughed and talked about the night, both of them enjoying being so close to eachother as Y/n relaxed into his chest before he placed her into his car and made sure she was buckled in, closing her door and getting in himself.
The time together had only made Y/n more and more infatuated with him and his mates and it seemed like her thoughts had elevated to a different level after the kiss they shared. Kook bit his lip ring and played with it with his teeth and tongue as he adjusted himself to get ready, he was ridiculously hot and everything about him was making Y/n stare more and more, her hybrid and heart telling her to get closer and closer but it was impossible. Or so she thought because Jungkook put one hand on the wheel while his inked hand closest to her fell onto her thigh, his thumb moving in small circles. It made her purr and relax and she didn’t mind if he heard, she never wanted it to end.
Jungkook checked on her one last time, looking at her as his tongue darted out to wet his lips again, when he realised how happy she seemed, he moved his hand slightly higher on her thigh, nearing the highest part he could reach and gripped it slightly, thumb still rubbing circles. Y/n only purred louder at this and melted into his scent and touch around her, happily drifting off as they made their way to her apartment.
Jungkook woke her up as usual and picked her up straight out of the car to carry her upstairs as she giggled and lightly hit him again in protest as they laughed and joked on the way up, Y/n’s face burying into Jungkooks neck whenever he made her laugh a bit too hard or she got embarrassed at a memory from the previous night. His scent made her feel so many things and the proximity and his grip on her was making it all far more intense, it was making her crave something she couldn’t put into words and she soon found out what it was when she got into her apartment.
Jungkook unlocked and opened her door for her, walking in and closing the door behind himself before finally putting her down in her own apartment, reluctantly so. Their laughter had subsided and now it was time for their own goodbye, the pair stared at eachother and found themselves lost in each others eyes.
It only took a moment before Jungkook decided to make his move, pulling her in by her soft waist, leaning down and gently placing his soft lips on her own for the third time. It took her by complete surprise but Y/n quickly melted into it, her arms wrapping around his neck and lips following his lead as they slowly moved. Jungkook was going slow so she could learn, he didn’t want to pull her too far too quick if she wasn’t ready so he gently pulled away.
His actions were resisted when Y/n whined and pushed back up, onto her tiptoes to chase his lips and clumsily crashing her lips back onto his own, she tried to copy his previous movement and he smiled against her, thinking she just wanted to continue this exact pace for just a little longer. His hands melted further into Y/n’s soft body as he suddenly felt her speed up, clumsily but she was clearly trying and her hands fell into his hair, lightly pulling at the strands at the base of it.
Jungkook groaned against her in pleasure, following her movements against his lips, quickening their pace and when he heard Y/n’s soft noises, felt her pressing her chest into him, he moved his lands down, grabbing her thick thighs and lifting her up with ease, wrapping her legs around his waist as her grip on his hair got tighter. Y/n gasped against his lips in shock, starting to pant with slight desperation, accompanied by the soft noises she couldn’t hold back. She tried her best to keep up and felt herself faulted when Jungkooks mouth opened slightly and his tongue brushed over Y/n’s bottom lip, it made her gasp again, letting him slide it in and start to work against her lips and own tongue.
Y/n did her best to learn on the spot and tried to keep up with it all, moving her own tongue slightly but submissively letting Jungkook lead every step, she felt his tongue and lip piercing against her lips again and again and the sensation made her soft whines grow in volume, Jungkooks groans getting louder and more frequent as a result. When Y/n finally thought she was getting used to it, Jungkook shocked her again, gently biting and sucking on her bottom lip for a second, the sensation made Y/n let out an embarrassingly loud moan that was cut off by Jungkooks lips colliding with hers again, absorbing every noise she made.
Y/n’s hand had repeatedly pulled on the strands of Jungkooks hair but she pushed his head closer to her to show she still wanted it all, just needed something to ground herself and while they kissed, one of Jungkooks hands had moved from Y/n’s upper thigh to her plush ass. The two were running out of breath and panting against eachother but neither wanted to stop, Jungkook took the responsibility of stopping them because he knew his princess wouldn’t stop even if she had no breath left. As he was about to pull away, Y/n felt it and all the courage she built, was put into one movement, her teeth gently gripping Jungkooks lip ring and pulling as he pulled away, his hands squeezed in their positions, one leaving imprints on her upper thigh and the other squeezing her full ass, it made Y/n let go with Jungkooks lip falling back into place as she moaned, his own moan falling in the same timing with hers.
As the two parted, a string was stretched between their close lips, it slowly broke and they looked at eachother, now eye level as Jungkook held Y/n up. They observed eachother, panting as their scents were thick, both their lips were red and swollen from their actions and glossy from saliva. They both thought eachother looked too attractive to be real and it made them both a bit overwhelmed.
Jungkook moved his head forward and buried it in Y/n’s neck, their previous movements making him a bit bold as he rubbed his face over her scent gland. Y/n let out a gasp as she felt something familiar on a new place on her however as Jungkooks tongue gently marked over her scent gland, lips moving to kiss and aid his tongue. Y/n’s hands pushed Jungkook in at the pleasurable feeling, her scent pulsing out and scent gland getting swollen with every second. As she kept pushing him, Jungkook slightly opened lip lips and latched onto Y/n’s neck, sucking at her extremely sensitive scent gland. Her whole body jolted and twitched against him, scent thickening into something he hadn’t smelt before that tasted addictive, Y/n had nothing to muffle her whines and moans and her grip on Kook’s hair tightened.
She could feel everything about him, his cold tongue piercing lapping over the spot he’d sucked before he latched back on, gently nipping as he sucked again, his tongue moving against it as he contuined. Y/n was panting and almost shaking in his arms, he held onto her tighter to make sure she didn’t fall but pulled away to look at her, to make sure she was okay especially since the new scent that was coming from her was making him feel almost drunk. It was addictive and he wanted to drink in every single bit of it from everywhere she emitted it but he stopped himself as to not push too far.
Y/n looked at him with clouded eyes, it was always so clear that she had never done this before, never kissed, never been marked or scented, never been touched like this and Jungkook could tell she was enjoying it. He was more than glad she was experiencing it with him. Y/n seemed lost as to what to do next but in a state of joy so Jungkook tilted his head to the side, emitting a burst of his scent, inviting her to do the same and she did, she buried her face in his scent at first. Then she took an experimental kiss and lick at his scent gland, Jungkook had to hold back his moan as he bit his lip hard, eyes scrunching shut at the feeling of her lips and tongue on one of his most sensitive areas. Y/n on the other hand suddenly felt like she’d tasted the most delicious thing on earth, eagerly doing it again before giving it an experimental nip, following it by latching on and almost sucking out the taste. She repeated her actions until she was satisfied and Jungkook had given up holding back his moans and groans at that point.
The two of them had puffy, marked scent glands when they were finished, extremely sensitive to the touch and covered in purple and red marking. Y/n was purring loudly and the two just looked at eachother, so in love. Jungkook started to walk towards Y/n’s soft couch, leaning down and placing Y/n on it before sitting next to her so that they could start to calm down. The two sat in a comfortable silence; Jungkook took off his jacket and draped it over a corner of the sofa while Y/n traced her swollen lips with her fingers, realising just how addictive kissing was.
Y/n didn’t know what came over her, what gave her the confidence she never seemed to have but she felt herself internally pushing for something, to say something.
“I-I keep feeling these things for you and your mates and I can’t describe them but they are really good and I like them but it’s all over and in me I feel like I’m being pulled to you all-“ Y/n suddenly started to ramble about how she felt, ears pinning back slightly as she tried not to look at Jungkook even though she just confessed that too him. She felt ashamed, she’d been feeling and acting on these things about a pack of mates; one she wasn’t a part of, no matter how much she wished she was. Her every thought was cut off when Jungkook put his hand under her chin and made her look at him.
Kook knew she hadn’t experienced it all before but he had, he knew what it all meant, he knew she’d just confessed to her hybrid accepting him and his pack as mates but for now he had to reassure her.
“You make us feel the same way princess, we all like you so much and in a more than friends way” - Jungkook spoke gently to her to make sure she grasped every word and her quick nodding made him smile
“But you are all in a pack and mates I shouldn’t feel this way for you” - Y/n refused to look into his eyes as her scent grew bitter and her face contorted with sadness
“Have you considered that maybe we would want you to be in our pack? To be our mate?” - Jungkooks words had her stunned, she felt like something within was telling her he was right but she refused to get her hopes up
“But you don’t-“ Y/n tried to protest but was cut off quickly
“Yes we do, we have talked about it Y/n, we want you to be our mate, to be in our pack and to join us, would you like that?” - Jungkook chased her eyes as they moved around quickly, clearly surprised as to where her morning had ended up. Y/n couldn’t seem to form any words let alone a reply for a minute so Jungkook reached his hand out and encased her own, sending out waves of his calming scent. It seemed to work as she took a deep breath before looking him in the eyes and nodding.
“I really want that but do your mates really want that?” - Y/n was proud of herself for even being able to get it out but was still on the verge of shaking with nerves at his answer, Jungkook smiled widely and nodded back at her.
“It’s all we want Y/nie, for you to be ours” - As they fell silent and smiled at eachother with no further questions in that moment, Y/n practically threw herself forward, hugging Jungkook tightly and he reciprocated as soon as they made contact. She knew that all she had wanted for a while was them to want her, and apparently they did. It made her feel so many things and though she wanted to know where it would go from here, living in this moment was more important right now.
Y/n didn’t feel close enough and opted to move to get as close as she could, moving her knees to straddle either side of Jungkooks lap and burying her face in his neck, arms still around his neck, his muscular arms wrapped tightly around her waist, moving down over her hips to her upper thighs when Y/n pulled back to look at him.
Jungkook felt the air shift to something thicker, same with the look in Y/n’s eyes and was taken by surprise when Y/n leant in and crashed her lips onto his hastily. He made a small noise at the sudden move but quickly reciprocated her fast movements, her lips copied everything he had taught her and moved feverishly against his own. It was her own tongue that swiped over his lips this tongue, she seemed to almost need this and who was he to deny her of it.
His hands slowly moved higher to her ass as her own pulled his head impossibly closer to him, her lips moving hard and fast as she tasted him, it was clumsy and admittedly messy but they both melted into every second of it. Y/n’s hands suddenly left his head that stayed exactly where she wanted it anyway, they trailed down the front of Jungkooks shirt, across his broad chest down to the hem of the shirt, teasingly pulling as if she wanted it off. Jungkook smiled against her lips and teasingly nipped at her lip, making her gasp and pull at the shirt in her grasp.
Jungkook didnt reply to her pulling, not sure what she wanted but he realised how much she wanted to be close when she boldly moved even closer, dropping herself right ontop of his crotch making him groan in the kiss and grip her ass.
His taste was addicting to Y/n, when she got closer she pushed her hands all over his chest, gasping into the kiss when she felt something inbetween her legs, realising where she had put herself but not wanting to stop. She just kissed harder and more feverishly, seeming to frustrate herself further as it wasn’t enough, pressing her full chest against his own, she whined into his mouth as she needed something but she wasn’t sure what. Her scent was almost sufforcating Jungkook, it was different to anything he’d smelt before from her, thicker, sweeter than he thought was possible and so addictive, it made his head spin as he was losing his breath from the intense kiss. He tried to ground himself and keep himself from reacting too much as he could feel himself growing harder under Y/n’s body, he knew it was too soon for her to go any further and tried to slow the kiss only to have her whine against him, protesting.
He was shocked at her behaviour, realising how strange it seemed compared to his usually shy little kitten so he moved one of his hands up to her scalp, getting a grip before pulling her head back to break the kiss. It was so close to scruffing her that her body relaxed from its feverish actions against him and she just panted with her eyes closed, her cheeks were flushed and heat was radiating off of her more than usual. Jungkook started to gently call her name, trying to grasp her attention.
Her eyes suddenly shot open, looking at him startled and almost panicked as she backed up slightly to sit lower on his lap, on his thighs instead of over his hard crotch. She seemed confused at her action and Jungkook moved both his hands to gently rub her back, waiting for her to become fully aware as she had seemed to lose herself before.
Her eyes seemed to swim with realisations, the hot across her body as she started to lightly sweat, her sudden actions and need for attention, the way her scent had thickened from arousal and body was burning with every contact from Jungkook: she was going into heat. Y/n’s hand flew over her mouth in shock and truthfully embarrassment. Her sudden change in mood accompanied by all her other symptoms made Jungkook feel more alert, worried for her but not knowing what exactly was wrong.
“I’m so sorry Kookie, I-I think I’m-“ - Y/n struggled with her words, not able to admit what was wrong but she didn’t have too as Jungkook stopped her from trying for a moment
“Hey ,hey ,it’s okay Y/n don’t be sorry, I enjoyed it as long as you did too but I need you to breathe for a second so you can tell me what’s wrong” As he spoke Jungkook started to grasp what was wrong by himself as her skin was boiling under his fingers, the scent around her was so thick and addictive that it couldn’t be anything else by arousal and the light Sheen of sweat on her skin was growing by the minute.
Y/n moved off of his lap to sit next to him, nodding at his instructions and taking a second to breathe to regain herself and try to calm the hormones coursing through her body, increasing by the minute.
“I think I’m going into h-heat” - Her voice was quiet and she refused to look at him as she sat in embarrassment but Jungkook just moved his hand to gently run her arm and reassure her
“Can I get you anything princess?” - He knew at this stage he still had the opportunity to get her anything she needed or wanted without her mind clouding too much but he wasn’t sure how fast and how deep she would fall into heat. He knew how the rest of his mates and himself would react and how their heats worked but he wasn’t at all familiar with Y/n’s.
Y/n was taken back by his care, expecting him to of quickly left but he stayed to take care of her for a while, she stuttered over her words as she answered
“I-I’m okay thank you” - it was like her shy self from their first meetings had come back but she was internally battling with her growing heat and the surprise at Jungkooks reaction. He looked at her with a curious look before standing up, Y/n had expected him to say he was leaving but he held out his hand to help her up, she curiously took it and he walked her to her bedroom.
Her body was growing shaken from the effects of her heat and mind was clouding more by the second, an ache growing between her thighs and scent thickening into a thick cloud around her. Despite all of this, Jungkook gently walked her into her own bedroom, quietly took in the neat room before walking up to the bed and taking everything ontop of it off, holding all of the blankets in his arms before looking at his kitty and gesturing to the bed. She quickly got what he was helping her do and couldn’t thank him enough, she needed a nest and whenever she couldn’t predict her heat she always grew too tired too quickly to pull apart her bed and rebuild it how she wanted and he was helping so much.
She took shakey steps towards the blank canvas, trying to pick up her thick duvet but being helped as Jungkook picked up one end to drop it on the bed so she only had to push it around. Y/n crawled on the bed to make a ring from the duvet around herself, almost like walls before putting her pillows inside the ring. She looked at Jungkook expectantly and he looked to find the thickest and fluffiest blanket in his arms before handing it too her. Y/n took it with a smile of approval and placed it as a base before taking each of the other blankets and strategically arranging them to her liking.
When she was finished her skin was covered in a layer of sweat, her hair was bothering her and she was aching all over, frustrated and tired. Jungkook carefully walked up to her and gently touched her head, pulling her long hair into a ponytail, taking it off of her face and neck and she gratefully purred, holding onto his arms as they worked. She hadn’t even noticed but her nipples had started to peak through the thick material of Jin’s hoodie as she opted not to wear a bra. Jungkook noticed but respectfully averted his eyes.
“Would you like me to find you some clothes to change into Y/nie?” - He spoke gently in her ear and she leant into him but shook her head no. He still decided to get her some and to just fold them up for when she was ready so he walked to her dresser, luckily finding her pajamas in her top draw and picking out a comfortable looking set of tank top and shorts, putting them on the corner of her bed where Y/n’s nest wasn’t touching. In the minute it took him to do so, Y/n had curled up in the nest, under a thin blanket and was growing increasingly hotter and more needy for attention but she tried to hold it back as she lay there shaking slightly, eyes closed.
Jungkook realised she was falling faster than him or any of his mates have done and felt so much sympathy for his poor kitten, he walked over and brushed his hand over her sweaty head before placing a kiss there, not minding the sweat just wishing he could do more for her. He quickly left to get her phone before handing it to her.
“I’ll have to go now kitty, I’m so sorry” - he only got a protesting whine in response before he continued
“I’m going to take your key for a bit okay? I’m just going to get you some things you might need, you have your phone if there’s anything you want me to get but I’ll see you so soon okay? When your feeling better” His words made Y/n both sad and happy, maybe it was her heat messing with her emotions but she didn’t want him to go but was so happy that he was caring for her, it made her want to cry. She had experienced her heats before obviously and to no relief but this felt more intense, faster than usual and just in the first hour, she just wanted it all to stop but nothing would stop it, atleast not this heat. Y/n could only nod and try to hold back her urge to bring him back to her and her wobbling bottom lip.
Jungkook did one last check over the room before making his way out, picking up her keys and locking her apartment, finally being able to breathe without her addictive scent sufforcating him in the best way. He pulled out his phone and started to message his groupchat with the pack.
‘Hyungs, Y/n’s going into heat, I helped her set up a nest what else can I do I just left her apartment but I have her keys to get back in’ - JK’s message didn’t portray how worried he really was nor the events that happened leading up to this but he just hoped his hyungs would reply fast, and of course they did
‘While you were there?! What did you do Kook?!’ - Jimins message just seemed accusatory but everyone knew he was jealous that he couldn’t have been the one to make her feel more comfortable at the time
Jungkook decided to just call all of them to explain everything, everything that happened leading up to it including their confessions to let them grasp the situation up to how she was when he left. They mostly let him explain smoothly and no one could express how much they wished they could have been there to confess personally to her too but they were more than on the verge of overwhelmed with happiness at the new establishment in their relationship, that she had accepted them as her mates, wanted to be a part of their pack and in tail, be loved and cared for by them. So that’s exactly what they would do, show her love and care for her especially right now.
Jin was the first to speak, Jungkook had walked down to his car and got in at this point, waiting for instructions on where to go and what to do.
‘Your going to come home and gather something from each of us, I’ll leave something out for you to collect because I’m going to go to the store and get some things for her, do not leave until I’m back but think properly about what you give her, something she likes a lot, something comfortable and heavily scented by you, by each of you.’ - Everyone knew Jin was speaking to the rest of them as they all scrambled to get up and find their items to give to Y/n. They all knew why; she’d need all the comfort she could have right now as nothing was going to give her relief but they could atleast surround her with them to an extent and after her and their confession, they could do so more openly.
‘When you go back Kook, open her windows, all around the house, it’ll get hot and more uncomfortable if she doesn’t have any air flowing through’ - Namjoon spoke, he knew he always felt worse if the windows were closed and his mates weren’t there yet.
‘Make sure she has something to watch, like a tv or movies on her phone and a nice setup because she won’t be able to move much soon’ - Hobi knew he hated being bored in his rut
‘A hot water bottle, she might already be hot to the touch but when her cramps kick in her heat isn’t going to relieve them, a hot water bottle might just a bit’ - Jimin always got the worst cramps and that was the only relief
‘If you can, rub her tummy for a while before you leave, she’ll appreciate the affection and it’s take away from her cramps a bit’ - Yoongi would rub his cubs (his mates) tummy’s before they were taken care off and even though he wanted to be the one to do it himself, he knew Jungkook would do a good job too
‘Rub her ears aswell, if she wants you too, and the base of her tail, it’ll take away from how uncomfortable she feels for a little while’ - Tae knew he was being bold with that one but if Y/n was okay with it he knew just how much it’d help
Jungkook made a mental note of all the instructions and quickly made his way home. When he got in he knew he was covered in Y/n’s addictive scent and that it was going to drive his mates crazy but he had a task at hand, to gather everything for Y/n. He made his way to his room, instantly knowing what he’d bring for her and he instantly grabbed his softest pillow that he slept on every single night, no matter who’s room he slept in, he would bring it with him. It was deeply covered with his scent and calm pheromones and it was so comfortable. He brought it out to the living room where he found the rest of his mates besides Jin, they all had to take a second to just stare as Y/n’s scent followed Jungkook.
Each of them had brought their own comfort items for Y/n. Starting with Yoongi who had a huge black panther plushy that the boys had gotten him one birthday as a joke to go with his other presents and he had slept with it on his bed every day since, he thought she’d love having the panther always relaxed so she could catch his tail at any moment.
Next was Jimin who had his softest cotton Pajama set, also his smallest, it was white and plaid, airy and smelt so strong of him despite being freshly washed, he knew she’d liked his Pajama bottoms before and would probably find comfort In these too
Namjoon had gotten his own calming bracelet especially for hybrids, he wore it at most times and it adjusted with the string so it was easy to put on and off but he thought Y/n would need something like it and it also smelt like him strongly despite being small.
Tae had actually thought of what to get her on his way home when he got the message about her heat, it wasn’t from his own room but he had one to match and he wanted her to be able to keep it and always match him. He went to his favourite bedding store and picked up a (unscented) 6ft body pillow and pink silk pillowcase to cover it. It was the most comforting thing in his bedroom and he scented it heavily, making it freshly emit the strong scent, he planned on sending her a picture with his own once she received it to make her feel like he was right there, the only difference was his casing was a beige, hers was a soft pink.
Hobi got his most comfortable hoodie, once he knew would fit her like a blanket, cover her to her knees and she could curl up in it if she’d like, just be encased in his scent and protected from any thoughts outside of him and his mates, it was also white, one of her favourite colours and would bring her even more comfort because of that, it would fit well in her house too.
Jin walked through the door just as Jungkook gathered Hoseoks hoodie into a large bag with the other gifts besides Yoongi’s panther and Taes body pillow which would have to take up a seat on their own each in his car. Jin carried 3 large bags filled with everything he found that he wanted Y/n to have. That included a bag dedicated to cases of water bottles and sodas for energy, another bag with snacks, mostly including strawberries but lots with chocolate and honestly everything he found that looked good, savory and sweet and then a third bag, smaller with a hot water bottle, a pretty pink casing on it, a few bath essentials such as a lavender bath soak, lavender essential oil and some baby wipes just in case and a few different herbal teas. Jin knew Jungkook would set them all up for her wherever was best and would help her where he could.
Jin helped Jungkook take everything down to the car along with his own comfort gift, the blanket she took such a liking too when she first came over, his soft blanket, he knew she’d love it. Jin also let Jungkook know that he’d cook different meals for Y/n for him to take over, light meals such as soup because she might not fancy heavier meals. He knew she’d enjoy the snacks too so he was okay with her just having soups for real meals. I’m their frantic movements, no one had noticed the hickey on Jungkooks scent gland which was still red and swollen. Jin spotted it and smirked to himself, walking behind him and running his fingers over the mark sending shocks down Jungkooks body.
“Got a bit carried away scenting did we?” - Jins teasing made Jungkook flush as he knew that Y/n had one matching too, one that was probably darker and more swollen than his own. He just jokingly pushed Jin as he complained about disrespect before getting into the car.
Once everything was back in the car, Jungkook made his way hastily back to Y/n’s apartment, in that time, each of the pack had sent caring messages to her, expressing both their love and sympathy for her heat. Jungkook clumsily made his way up to her apartment due to all the bags and pillows he was holding, it was all worth it to him. He hestitated at the door and considered wether he should just let himself in but completely decided against that, not wanting to startle Y/n at all. Instead, he got out his phone and sent her a text, letting her know he was going to come in for a minute to bring her some things. He considered waiting for a reply but he didnt want to risk her getting to a point where he wasnt able to even come into her apartment so he opened her door, stumbled in and was immediately hit with the increasingly strong aroma coming from Y/n, it made his eyes widen for a second and he practically slammed the door behind him to prevent it getting into the rest of her floor.
Shakily, he put down the pillows on her couch before taking the rest of the bags to her kitchen, debating unpacking them there but he knew she might not even leave her room besides to go to the bathroom over the course of her heat so he thought hard, eyesbrows furrowing as he bit his lip. His attention was stolen by a quiet voice, coming from Y/n room
'Kookie?' - Y/n called out tiredly, Jungkook wasnt sure wether she had just woken up or not slept at all but he immediately made his way down the hall despite getting waves of her scent coursing through his body more intensely by the second. He almost had to hold his breath as he hesitantly opened her bedroom door and was hit by the scent stronger than he thought was possible, it made his head spin, body heat up and forced him to support himself on the doorframe before he calmed down, slightly getting used to it.
Once he had calmed down, he looked up and found himself blushing at the sight of Y/n, she was still in the thick pink hoodie, under her blanket but he could see she had taken off the white pajama pants and placed them into her nest, probably because she was too hot. The hoodie had rided up just under her boobs and showed off the band of the white calvin kleins that he already knew were his. He both cursed and praised Jin in his head, it made it even harder to breathe seeing her wearing them and knowing she chose not to change out of them. Her hair was still in the ponytail he had done for her but was messy from her rolling around, clearly uncomfortable and then he took in her position, she was curled into herself, hands over her stomach and face screwed up.
Jungkook hadnt realised he hadnt said a word until Y/n slightly opened her eyes and looked at him in clear pain and distress.
'Kookie it hurts' - Her words had him jumping forward, moving to stand by the bed and her nest before leaning over her to run a hand over her head, his eyebrows falling sadly.
'I know kitty im sorry, everyone brought things for you, would you like to see?' - He thought it might make her feel better and was proven to be correct as her eyes opened a bit more and it seemed to distract her from the pain for a second as she nodded. He smiled at her and moved to go away but was caught off guard when Y/n grabbed his hand as it was leaving her head and looked at him desperately
'Please dont leave and dont stop' - Her words were needy and almost whiny as her weak grip made him hesitate before speaking.
'I just need to go get everything, ill be back in a second kitty dont worry' - Jungkook could tell she was reluctant to let go but so was he, he made it fast as he picked up everything again and swiftly made his way back in, placing the bags infront of her bed before placing the pillows on her bed, next to her comfort nest. Y/n shuffled in her position to see him more clearly and sat up slightly, the blanket falling as she brought her knees to her chest, Jungkooks briefs on her body nearly on full display besides her legs and hoodie slightly covering them. The shift made a whole new wave of scent hit Jungkook like a bus and he stopped for a second, his mind hazing before he shakily started to move again. He had to ignore it all if he wanted to be there for her as he couldnt help her how she really needed this heat.
'Everyone brought something for you, this is from me, Tae and Yoongi' - He lifted the items in order and saw Y/ns eyes dilate and brighten as she reached out before hesitating, looking for his approval to take them, at his nod she quickly arranged them where she wanted them, Jungkooks pillow behind where she would lay her head, Tae's silk bodypillow around one side of the edge where she knew she could pull it in and Yoongi's panther on the other edge, again, where she could pull it in or snuggle up to it. She smiled and was starting to feel slightly better even at just having their scents surrounding her, even more so when Jungkook gave her the rest of the items.
Namjoons bracelet was placed securely on her wrist, Hobi's hoodie in her arms as she cuddled up to it, Jimins pajamas neatly placed on the top of her 'wall' of the nest, in reach for the second she wanted to change and her blanket rested over her kicked off and instantly replaced by Jins one that she took such a liking too from the start. When she had finished she was purring and the her mind was taken away from the thought of the pain and distress coursing through her body. She was still entirely craving Jungkooks attention and touch but she didnt want to be greedy, instead opting to longingly look at him everytime he moved closer and further from her, she might have thought he didnt notice but he definitely did. He caught her eyes staring as he moved but chose to pretend not too until her eyes filled with tears and he didnt know why.
Y/n had become so overwhelmed by their gestures that her body had just reacted by thinking it was all too much, tears welled up in her eyes and her body started to shake slightly. Jungkooks concern was evident as his smile turned into a face of confusion and distress, his scent becoming slightly bitter as he searched her face, trying to work out what was wrong.
'Im sorry its just- its just so nice and you are all so loving and i havent felt like this before and its all so much-' - Her shaky words were cut off with a sob, she wasnt upset she was so happy but just so overwhelmed. Jungkook boldly moved forward, wrapping his arms around her smaller, shaking body as he squeezed her tight and ignored how he had put himself in an awakward position, leaning over the bed as he didnt want to interfere with her nest but still wanting to comfort her. Relief flooded Y/ns body for a second as his embraced calmed her boiling body, she tried to move impossibly closer but couldnt grasp what was stopping her before realising Jungkook wasnt on her bed, he was hovering over from the side.
'You can come in you know' - Y/ns words were shaky and quiet, only a whisper as she was scared of him rejecting her offer but he didnt even speak as he was happy to be granted the permission he was waiting for, moving into her nest while making sure not to move anything out of place, he leant against the pillow he had given her and picked Y/ns body up, pulling her to lay on his own body, she instantly buried her face in his neck, wiggling against him to get closer and practically bathe in his affection, knowing soon she wouldnt be able to have it for a full week. In a few hours she would be in a state where her entire body would be in a state of arousal and to no relief, she'd stay that way for a week before she could be this close again.
Jungkook rubbed circles into her back, a habit he had developed everytime she was in his arms, tilting his neck to the side to let her get closer and she quickly found his scent gland, waiting a second before placing a hesitant kiss against it, she waited for him to pull away but when he didnt she continued her movements, moving from kissing to licking before sucking. Truthfully, Jungkook had to hold back his groans as his eyebrows furrowed and teeth dug into his bottom lip, he didnt want to end their time faster than necessary and his reactions could definitely spur on the speed of her heat he knew that. His scent and taste against her lips felt like it was calming the cramps in her belly for a minute before she suddenly had to stop with a gasp as a shooting pain went through her stomach. Pulling her lips away, she curled into herself again, gasping again as it continued to rip through her body, water filled her eyes again but for an entirely different reason this time and a cry left her lips.
Hurriedly, Kook moved to check what was wrong and when he saw Y/n clutching her stomach he remembered Yoongis words and his actions for all of them, he reached out again and swiftly turned over Y/n so she leant against his chest before he moved her own hands as her cries turned into quiet sniffles and heavy breathing. Replacing her own hands, Jungkook started to push his fingers in circles across her soft belly, when Y/n started to breath better and push into him, he moved his hands from over her hoodie to under. His hands brushed over the band of his boxers to the soft tummy above it, slightly pushing over the band from her position on her side and from the first bit of contact he felt like his eyes would roll into the back of his head, her skin was so soft and she was plush, he knew it wouldnt just drive him crazy but every single one of their mates too. The way his hands melted into her skin and the way she twitched as his cold hands touched her boiling skin made them both cloud over in their heads.
Kook made sure to rub circles into her skin while he was going crazy at the feel of her and Y/n thought she was going to just fall into the depths of her heat right there as he soothed the burning sensation on her body, it didnt help the growing ache between her legs but it took away from her cramps. It was so much that she had to reach her arm back and grip onto his hard bicep to ground herself and when that didnt help as he unintentionally flexed against her small hand - that only covered a small area of his delicious muscle - she turned her head up and around to desperately capture his lips. He eagerly reciprocated the needy and messy kiss, much like the one on the sofa but Kook fought to stay in control of both the kiss and his mind this time, knowing he had to know when to stop it. He didnt stop his movements on her stomach but instead felt something new as his tongue piercings touched her lips, her legs tensed up and he could feel them rubbing against eachother on his arm.
Careful not to take it too far, Kook continued to kiss her for a few moments after before pulling away, any further it would just make it harder to stop and more painful for Y/n. His own body had started to build up a light layer of sweat from the heat radiating off Y/ns body and he started to think about his next move. Hoping to soothe her growing aches even slightly, he moved his free hand up to Y/ns head and took Tae's suggestion, gently started to rub at the base of them as Y/ns body twitched under his touched and her mouth fell open in a silent moan, arching into his hands. It did relieve her for the duration he continued for but once he stopped as he realised he still needed to set everything up for her before it was too late, it just made her realise how quickly it sent her falling into a deeper state of heat.
Kook hesitantly pulled his hands away and got a whine from Y/n at his actions but he gently shushed her, caressing her side softly before sitting up. She stayed in her position, eyes dazed as she looked up at him and silently begged him to stay.
'Jinnie went and got you everything he thought you might need kitty, i need to set it out for you' - Y/ns eyes softened at his words and Jins thoughtful gesture and she nodded, reluctantly accepting that he had to get up. Jungkook quickly moved around, taking the packs of water and soda placing them on her dresser and taking a few out to place them on her bedside table for her to reach easily before working on the snacks, repeating his actions until it was all ready. The same with the third bag except he put the bath essentials into her bathroom and placed the wipes on her bedside table before looking at her with the hot water bottle.
'Ill fill this up for your cramps kitty, ill be back in a minute okay?' - Y/n had been watching his every movement, her gaze full of love and affection while she just nodded at his words even though she didnt want him to leave. Y/n knew it was nearly time for him to leave and she knew sulking wasnt going to change that so she pushed past the aching through her body to move everything around her, realising the hoodie she had on would be too hot and thinking about her options. She picked up the cotton pajama shirt from the set Jimin lended, holding it to her face to smell for a second before looking at the door and listening to hear Jungkook had only just put on the hot water. It was risky but she moved quickly as she pulled the hoodie off and replaced it with the cotton pajama shirt, it was much thinner and just as soft, it felt better than amazing against her burning skin. Her tail swung happily as Jimins scent surrounded her but he chose not to put on the trousers, opting to just keep on the white calvin kleins that she didnt know belonged to Jungkook.
The thin cotton made her perky breasts quite visible and definitely showed the imprint of her nipples if you looked at them directly but she didnt mind, only Jungkook was here and she couldnt even think too much on the matter with the boiling sensation and aches taking over her body, just as she held her stomach again when the cramps resurfaced, Jungkook practically came to the rescue, hot water bottle in hand as he hurriedly made his way over and nestled the heated bottle on Y/ns stomach. She sighed as it almost instantly bring some relief and she looked up at him, realising he was going to have to leave. Her mind was clouding over more with every minute and she felt a wave of tiredness set over he, it didn't take away from everything else she was feeling but she just hoped she could sleep to pass the time.
Kook started to look for a remote for the tv on her wall and upon finding it, opened netflix and put on a comedy movie for Y/n, she was barely processing it but when she went in and out of consciousness it could keep her entertained. He had already made sure the windows in every other rooms were open and opened the window in her bedroom. He didn't want to leave, everything in him told him to stay but he knew he couldn't, he could only make sure she was okay and maybe facetime her when he got home, with the rest of the pack. As he moved over to his sleepy kitty, still clearly uncomfortable as she twitched and her legs were tense, he leant down to press a kiss to her head.
'Ill see you soon kitty, I have to go now but you can call me or anyone else whenever you want too, Jins going to bring you meals too' - It took Y/n a minute to process his words but when she did she felt that overwhelming feeling wash over her again at the constant care she was receiving so as Jungkook moved to lean up again, she grabbed his arm, keeping him in place
'Could you give them all a kiss for me, please?' - Her mannerisms even when she was so drowsy made Jungkook coo and smile, especially at her request, he nodded and thought that was all but Y/n leant up slightly and planted 7 pecks on his lips. It took him by surprise as he looked at her for a second before actually sitting up, smiling as she started to adjust herself again. He hesitantly walked away to her bedroom door, standing in the frame for a moment and watched as she pulled Tae's body pillow gift behind her to spoon her, Yoongis panther into her arms but basically laying over it, his own pillow under her head, Namjoons bracelet on display, Jimins shirt on, Hobi's hoodie hooked under her arm, slightly over her neck and Jins blanket resting over her legs, reaching to lower waist showing off Jungkooks boxers and the hot waterbottle on her tummy. The sight of her was too cute, even if she was tensing her legs together and rubbing her thighs while her nipples poked through the thin cotton and her body was covered in a layer of sweat, she was too cute. Those small details couldnt be seen in a photo and he just had to take a photo to show his mates, all of their gifts being appreciated.
Jungkook didnt even caption the image as he sent it to their pack groupchat, he just made sure it captured everything he wanted it too before sending a quick confirmation that he had unpacked everything accessibly for her and she was safe with all of their instructions fulfilled. He got back multiple replys from all of his mates both checking in to ask questions and fawning over her, Jimin noticed her wearing one of their underwears and was more than shocked but one message really ended the seemingly innocent image.
'I know i gave her your boxers to wear but Jeon Jungkook, did you put that huge hickey on her neck?!?'
Thank you so much for reading I hope you enjoyed! Bit of a twist on this one you might not have seen that coming but I hope it gave insight into what heats are like for these hybrids without getting too explicit, yet.
Feel free to ask for headcannons or drabbles for Strawberry Princess! They’d definitely help develop my ideas for the plot while writing!
ཐི♡ཋྀ
#bts#bts jimin#bts jungkook#bts namjoon#bts seokjin#bts x reader#bts yoongi#hybrid#hybrid bts#hybrid reader#bts hoseok#bts smut#bts ff#bts taehyung#bts army#bts fanfic#bts hybrid x reader#bts hybrid fic#bts hybrid fanfic#bts hybrid au#hybrid au#fem reader
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It's time for today's Merlin au! This time featuring some Mergwenthur (mostly focused on Merthur today though, but I have some more prompts planned for Mergwenthur because I love their dynamic!) and Arthur's emotional trauma from growing up under Uther!
Also, the option that won the poll will be the post after this one!
I just want to say that this au idea is so random that I'm pretty sure it came to me in a fever dream, so bon appétit my friends! :D
In this au, set in season 5, a sorcerer working for Morgana sneaks into the castle and creates three dolls: one of Arthur, one of Gwen, and one of Merlin. We see in the show that puppets and dolls with a likeness to their target can be used in dark rituals, and that's what this sorcerer plans to do.
However, Camelot's guards manage to catch and apprehend the sorcerer (whose powers just mysteriously failed them when the guards attacked, and no one sees Merlin loitering in the servants' hallway nearby) before the sorcerer could bind the doll of Arthur to the king. So, the small dolls of Gwen and Merlin are bound to them, but Arthur's isn't.
After the sorcerer has been locked up, Arthur discovers the dolls in the sorcerer's belongings and has Gaius take a look at them. Gaius tells him that they can go ahead and destroy the doll of Arthur since it isn't bound to anyone, but they'll need to wait to destroy Gwen and Merlin's dolls, since they had already been bound with magic and now any damage done to the dolls would be done to either of them.
Arthur is, rightfully, horrified by this and, as gently as he could, placed the two dolls in a secret compartment hidden in a wall of his room. He locks the two dolls away, feeling relief that no magical harm could come to the two most important people in his life.
Meanwhile, Gaius tells Merlin and Gwen about the dolls and their temporary solution to lock them away. Merlin's kicking himself for not being able to stop the sorcerer sooner, but he soon gets to work helping Gaius look for a spell to break the bond between them and the dolls.
However, as the days go on and no solution comes up, the whole doll situation falls on the backburner as more magical situations happen that demand Gaius and Merlin's immediate attention, leaving the whole doll mess to fall to the wayside. They'd find a solution eventually, they reasoned, and their temporary solution of locking them away had worked perfectly so far, so they should focus on the more pressing matters at hand.
However, Arthur couldn't seem to quite get the dolls out of his head. The cursed objects that could take away the two most important people in his life were just sitting there! Arthur's fears about the dolls ran wild, so Arthur asked Gaius for information on those types of dolls. After all, they could more easily take precautions around the dolls if they knew more about them.
Gaius directs Arthur to a certain book in Geoffrey's library that he knew had several chapters dedicated to the magic dolls and their potential uses. Arthur thanked Gaius and, that night, dedicated himself to reading all about the dolls so he could better protect his loved ones.
Most of what Arthur read disgusted and terrified him, reading about horrifying methods of torture and execution using the dolls, which would transfer every sensation and emotion directed at them onto the person they were bound to. Eventually though, Arthur came to a shorter chapter about the positive uses of the dolls. He read about druids who had taken vows of silence using the dolls to convey their affections for their loved ones, and even powerful sorcerers using similar dolls to comfort their far-away families.
As much as Arthur tried to shove that idea violently from his mind, it became fixed in his thoughts like a fly in a spiderweb. A way for someone else to feel the full depths of his love without having to use words?
Arthur, for all of his faults, knew himself. He knew that he was not the best at conveying his emotions. Words, no matter how long he thought over them, always felt like pale reflections of the enormity of his emotions, especially in regards to his love for Gwen and Merlin. With Gwen, he often stumbled over his words, unsure of how to express the depths of his love for her, even three years into marriage. With Merlin, on the other hand, any of his attempts at affection inevitably devolved into banter and friendly name-calling, never being able to truly tell Merlin how much he meant to Arthur.
Could these dolls be the solution? Could he somehow use them to convey his feelings for his beloved Gwen and Merlin? Arthur found his eyes frequently drifting towards the secret compartment where he knew the dolls lay. Could he...
Eventually, the temptation became so strong that Arthur couldn't resist anymore. Surely, if he was gentle and careful, then everything would be fine, right? Either Merlin and Gwen would be able to feel Arthur love through the little dolls, or nothing would happen and Arthur would go about his day only slightly disappointed.
With his mind made up, Arthur checked the lock on his chamber's door to ensure that he would be alone, and made his way over to the secret compartment in his wall, unlocking it. Sitting inside, exactly where he left them, were the dolls of Merlin and Gwen.
Arthur quickly darted over to his window, where had a clear view of Merlin talking with Gwaine in the courtyard. If anything happened to Merlin because of the doll, he would know right away, and he could reassure himself that this little experiment of his wasn't doing any harm.
They were both small, with his hand being able to cover the entirety of either doll with the exception of its head. As carefully as Arthur could, he pulled each doll out of the wall and set them down gently on his desk, making sure to cushion the back of their heads as he set them down.
It wasn't until Arthur saw staring down at the dolls did he realize that the book never specified exactly how emotions were transferred. Sensations were easy enough, but it never said how to convey emotions themselves.
Well, Arthur reasoned with himself, it couldn't be that difficult. He gently picked up the doll that resembled Merlin (it even had a little jacket and a red scarf on it and everything) and held it in front of him. Arthur took a few moments to contemplate his next move, before landing on an acceptable strategy.
Willfully ignoring the voice in his head (which sounded remarkably similar to his father) that was berating Arthur for seeking comfort from these dolls like a little girl, Arthur brought the Merlin doll close to his chest and held it there, trying his best to simulate a hug. There, that was a good start!
Moving back over to the window, Arthur was relieved to see Merlin unharmed and still speaking with Gwaine with a large smile on his face, not showing any signs of pain or discomfort.
Emboldened and relieved with the knowledge that he wasn't causing any harm, Arthur next had to figure out if he was really sending his feeling through the doll, or if this was just a huge waste of Arthur's time.
Keeping his eyes trained on Merlin, Arthur brought the doll up to his face and pressed a gentle kiss onto its forehead. To his amazement, right as he had kissed the doll, Merlin suddenly stopped speaking looked rather confused, touching a hand to his forehead, as if trying to check to see if anything was there, while a blush rose on his cheeks.
Arthur could feel a huge grin break out on his face. It had worked! Merlin had felt the affection he had shown to the doll!
Arthur, cuddling the Merlin doll: Get cherished idiot! Get absolutely adored!
Merlin, wondering why the hell he feels someone hugging him: Huh, that's weird.
Over the course of the next week, Arthur experimented with different ways to convey his emotions to Gwen and Merlin through the dolls. He found that holding the dolls close and speaking to them, spilling out all of the words that he was so clumsy with when he was with Gwen or Merlin, worked the most effectively. However, just holding, cuddling, or kissing the dolls had much of the same effect.
Arthur could even see the different it made with Gwen and Merlin! Even though Arthur was too embarrassed to tell them about how he had taken to trying to express his feelings through the dolls, he could tell that both of them were happier and more affectionate with him!
Oh, it was all working out perfectly! Arthur could finally honestly express his love to Merlin and Gwen to its fullest extent, and they were happier in return (even if they didn't quite know why)!
And it was all well and good, up until Merlin was injured. Not by the doll, thank god, because Arthur would never forgive himself if something like that happened. No, it was during a routine hunt through the darkling woods, which of course had to be ruined by bandits.
Arthur had thought nothing of it at first, as it was a smaller and untrained group, but horror gripped him near the end of the fight as he turned around to see Merlin, coming out of hiding and totally unaware of the bandit's crossbow aimed at him. Arthur tries shouting for Merlin to move out of the way, but he's too late. Between one heartbeat and the next, there's suddenly a crossbow bolt sticking out of Merlin's back.
Arthur makes quick work of the four bandits standing between him and Merlin, and frantically starts trying to treat and bandage the wound on Merlin's back. The wound is deep, Arthur's panicking, and Merlin's already passed out. Luckily, the knight quickly finished off the rest of the bandits, and they ride as swiftly as they could back to Camelot so Merlin could be treated by Gaius.
Luckily, they were able to get Merlin to Gaius before Merlin lost too much blood or the wound became infected, so Gaius was able to treat Merlin's wound and give him a good prognosis. However, much to everyone's concern, Merlin still hadn't woken up, and Gaius couldn't guarantee when Merlin would wake up or fully recover.
While Gwen stayed by Merlin's side all night, Arthur couldn't bear the sight of Merlin, looking still and broken on a patient's cot. Perhaps that made Arthur weak, but he couldn't ever bear to see his loved ones in pain, knowing that there was nothing he could do to help.
Or... perhaps... there was something he could do to help. Merlin likely couldn't hear what was going on around him, but if he could feel it instead...
Arthur took Merlin's doll from its secret compartment as gently as his desperation would allow. Arthur was pretty sure that there were tears running down his face, but he couldn't bring himself to care about that at the moment.
With trembling hands, Arthur carefully held the doll to his chest, right over his heart. Arthur tries everything he can, from kissing the doll to just speaking to it, telling the little scrap of cloth and magic all of the things he adores about Merlin and how he cannot cope with the thought of losing him.
Everyone is relieved the next day when Merlin wakes up, still weak from his injury, but recovering nonetheless. But man, Merlin had some weird dreams while he was unconscious. He dreamed Arthur was a giant and was hugging him! Merlin tried to play it off for laughs to lighten the mood when Arthur visited him, but Arthur didn't seem to find it nearly as funny as Merlin and Gwen did. Instead, Arthur turned slightly pale at Merlin's words.
After Arthur left, Merlin and Gwen turn to each other and discuss why they think Arthur had reacted like that. They both agree that Arthur had been acting differently lately, but if anything, it was an improvement. Arthur had been more open to both giving and receiving affection with them, and he had been more open with sharing his emotions lately, being overall less of a complete prat.
So, this sudden closed off response was rather suspicious to both of them. After some discussion, they agree to search for an explanation for Arthur's strange shift in behavior. After some snooping around and looking between the gaps on the door to he servant's entrance to Arthur chambers, Merlin and Gwen saw something truly shocking.
Arthur had been removing the dolls that were bound to them to their hiding spot! Did he know how dangerous that was for the both of them! What was he even planning on doing with them?!
Many of their questions were answered, however, when Arthur started pressing kisses to the top of both doll's heads, and both Gwen and Merlin could feel the sensation of the kiss touching their heads. Oh. So that's what the whole doll situation was about, and why both of them were having sudden and unexplainable sensations and bursts of positive emotion.
It made a shocking amount of sense, especially considering how frustrated they knew Arthur could get at his lack of skills in communicating his feelings. Merlin and Gwen turned to each other, and decided to not confront Arthur about this just yet. They could let Arthur have this, and he'd tell them when he was ready.
For now, Arthur would have his peace.
And that's a wrap for this au! Honestly, this au idea was so unique that I don't even know where it came from, but there's a lot of different ways this au could go! One of my favorite ideas is that any injury the person gets is also reflected on the doll, so after Merlin or Gwen goes missing, Arthur obsessively checks the dolls to see if they're unhurt.
Anyways, I've got the au idea that won the poll (an au idea featuring Arthur being an idiot) planned for tomorrow or the next day, so I hope to see you all again soon!
And, as always, thank you for reading though my ramblings! :D
#merlin#bbc merlin#arthur pendragon#merlin bbc#merlin au#merlin prompts#merthur#mergwen#arwen#mergwenthur
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A Little Secret
Rightmost image from Elizabeth on Pinterest here, other two are mine
Part 2 of I Think It's Time to Switch Roles - Tom Riddle x Reader
Requested by: @lackingstateofmind @annaisanarchyofficial @justarandomcanadiantransdude
Word count: approx. 8.5k
Summary: You're done with Mattheo's reckless behavior. So is his brother, Tom. Where will your newfound connection take you?
Warnings/be aware: Tom Riddle III/Tom and Mattheo are the sons of Voldemort, ooc!Tom Riddle, mentions of cheating (not Tom), implied that the reader is a Hufflepuff, one major (1 week) time skip, use of Y/N, playboy!Mattheo, it's long
A/N: Part 2 of I Think It’s Time to Switch Roles is finally finished! Thank you all for being patient while I rewrote this like five times and also took finals. If you haven’t read I Think It’s Time to Switch roles, I would recommend reading that first here. For all of my Mattheo lovers I promise I will write something that's nicer to bby Matty soon, in the meantime I hope you enjoy!
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“I think I like your brother better.”
You were trying to wind up Mattheo and it worked, his eyes flashing in anger as he looked at you in disbelief.
“So that’s what this is about?” he demanded. “You’re just looking for a reason to go running off with – “
“No, Mattheo,” you groaned, rolling your eyes as you tried to prevent the confrontation from devolving into him whining over your and Tom’s plan. “I’m looking for someone who’s mature and reliable and honest, and you just are not those things!” A month’s worth of frustration that had gone unreleased spilled out of you. “You did a great job of keeping me holding on for a while, but it’s over. I don’t believe you anymore.” He scoffed.
“Fine,” he spat. “Go mess around with whoever you want, see if I care.” Your mouth dropped open at his utter lack of self-awareness as he turned on his heel and stepped away.
“How in Salazar’s name is this about me?” you shouted at his retreating back, throwing your hands up in anger. “You’re the one who couldn’t keep your hands off someone else!” He ignored you, striding away with Blaise and Theo as you simmered with rage.
“He will come around eventually.”
You turned in the direction that the deep voice had just emanated from and saw Tom watching you, an even expression on his face. You knew there was no way he could’ve heard what you’d said to egg on Mattheo – it had been too quiet – but your stomach still dropped slightly at the reminder of his presence.
“I don’t really care if he comes around or not,” you admitted, your voice catching in your throat slightly. You weren’t going to waste your time trying to change someone who refused to do so of his own accord. “I still care about him, but I don’t trust him anymore. And without that, there’s no point.” You let out a heavy breath. “Thanks for trying. I’ll see you around, yeah?” He didn’t react, leaving you to turn around and walk away.
“Y/N?”
You spun back around at the sound of his voice behind you. “Yes?”
“You are much more than he deserves.” His eyes were narrowed, and if you didn’t know better you would’ve thought that he looked slightly sad. You blinked in surprise.
“I…thank you.” He nodded once in response, watching as you walked away. You didn’t know what to make of it.
You spent the next week drowning out the noise in your head with schoolwork, remaining resolutely holed up in your common room as you worked to avoid running into Tom, Mattheo, Lisa, or anyone else who might be out and about in the castle. The strategy proved oddly effective, and you had several remarkably productive workdays, finishing all of your assignments for the next several weeks. Once you ran out of essays to write, you moved to studying for NEWTs. You were in the process of marching through your Defense textbook and creating review notes when your studying was interrupted.
“Earth to Y/N!” Something cushy and dense smacked you in the back of the head, causing you to make an errant marking on the parchment in front of you with your quill. You frowned and turned around, seeing that the object that had hit you was a throw pillow and the launcher of said pillow was your best friend, Hannah Abbot. Pressing your lips together, you tried to avoid snapping.
“What, Han?” you sighed. “I’m a little busy.” She raised her eyebrows.
“You’ve been busy for every moment of the past week,” she responded. “How many essays can you possibly have left to write?” You glanced at the floor.
“None,” you admitted reluctantly. “I’ve been studying for NEWTs.”
“Right.” She stood up and strode towards you, flipping the textbook in front of you shut and yanking the quill out of your hand.
“Hey!”
“You’re coming with me,” she declared, grabbing your wrist and pulling you in the direction of the staircases that led to the dormitories.
“But I was working!”
“Please, you were avoiding.” She shot you a skeptical glance as she walked. “You have to talk about Mattheo sometime, Y/N! It’s been a week and you haven’t even mentioned him.”
“I will!” you protested. “Once I finish studying for NEWTs.” Hannah laughed incredulously.
“Okay, so once you finish the Sisyphean task that we’re supposed to complete over the next two years, then you’ll talk about it?” You grimaced. “I’m your best friend!” she continued, pausing in front of you and looking you in the eye. “Please talk to me?”
You sighed, feeling slightly guilty for isolating yourself so much during the past week. “You’re right,” you admitted. “I’ve just felt so…not myself over the past few days. Doing schoolwork is the only thing that makes me feel normal.” Hannah shook her head.
“You’re going through a breakup, Y/N,” she replied, opening the doors of your dormitory. “And don’t give me that ‘we were never officially dating’ nonsense, he was important to you. It’s not going to feel normal. You have to work through all of those feelings to move on.” You stepped forward and plopped down on your bed. She joined you, kicking off her shoes swiftly and sitting cross-legged with her back against the footboard.
“I know, there’s just a lot going on,” you explained, closing your bedcurtains and casting a quick Silencing Charm around the bed so that no one else could listen in. Her eyes widened.
“Well there must be, if the Silencing Charm is coming out,” she remarked with surprise. “What’s up?”
You told her about the events of the previous weekend – how you’d run into Tom in the library, your plan to teach Mattheo a lesson, and how he’d apologized to you but turned back into his old self the moment you’d questioned his willingness to change.
“It’s over for good,” you said to Hannah. “I thought that maybe if the plan worked and he apologized, I would take him back. But there was just…something about the things he was saying, I didn’t believe him.”
“And it seems like you were right,” she affirmed. “I mean if he switched from begging for your forgiveness to insulting you that quickly…” You nodded, feeling yourself tearing up at the memory.
“It seemed so unlike him,” you said sadly as Hannah wrapped a comforting arm around you. “But the more I thought about it, the more I realized that it was exactly like him. He was so sweet to me when things were good, when I was new and shiny and interesting, but the moment that someone he liked better came along – poof. I didn’t matter anymore.”
“Ugh, he’s such a loser,” she said sourly. Out of all your friends, she’d been the most skeptical of Mattheo’s initial advances. “You’re an amazing partner, Y/N. The way he acts says everything about his worth, not about yours.”
“I know,” you agreed hesitantly. “I should’ve never gone out with him in the first place. He wasn’t even close to what I was looking for. He was just new, and exciting, and…I don’t know.”
“People make mistakes,” she stated gently, rubbing your back with her palm. “He was a smooth talker and a nice guy in his better moments, I can understand what you saw in him. But you deserve to set higher standards for yourself! When you get back out there, whenever that is, you’re going to stick to your guns and find someone who’s everything that you want.” You pressed your lips together, hesitating for a moment.
“I think I might have?” Your voice squeaked slightly and your best friend’s eyes widened with excitement.
“Really?” she exclaimed, scooting forward on the bed. “Who?” You sighed.
“Okay, it’s so bad,” you prefaced, leaning your head back.
“No, sweetie, I thought we were done with the bad boys!”
“It’s not that,” you clarified, covering your face with your hands for a moment. “It’s just…I don’t know, I’d never actually go for it. It was just sort of a whim that I got.”
“Okay,” Hannah responded, looking intrigued.
“It’s just that, well, when Tom and I ran into each other and came up with this whole plan…we ended up spending a lot of time together, and at some point I sort of realized that, well, he’s got everything I’m looking for.” You winced slightly as her mouth fell open.
“No way,” she remarked, laughing eagerly. “Mattheo’s brother?”
“Am I a horrible person?” Hannah shot you a skeptical look.
“No, no,” she dismissed. “Under other circumstances…maybe it wouldn’t be a great look. But he cheated! You owe him nothing.”
“Are you sure?” She laughed.
“Yes, I’m sure! Honestly, I think everyone who’s ever been played by Mattheo Riddle would respect you more for it.” She paused for a moment, grinning. “What’s Tom like, by the way? He seems so scary.” You thought for a moment.
“I was always a little intimidated by him,” you agreed. “He was always pretty stoic and difficult to read when Mattheo and I were together, but once we found some common ground, it was like – I don’t know. We just clicked so well, in a weird way. He’s so clever and mature…and responsible! He has his life so together! I think he has a planner and everything. And he’s such a gentleman, he was so respectful the whole time. Not to mention he’s gorgeous.” Hannah grinned.
“You’re not wrong there,” she said. “I reckon he’d pull more than any of those other Slytherins if he’d just stop walking around looking like he’s about to Avada someone constantly.” You giggled.
“I just have no idea how he feels about me,” you sighed. “Whatever. I probably just need to take a break from boys anyway.”
“Don’t we all,” Hannah joked. “By the way, Gryffindor plays Ravenclaw in Quidditch tomorrow. Want to come with me?” She watched you hopefully.
“Hannah Abbot,” you gasped playfully, your mouth gaping in teasing surprise. “Are you asking me to rejoin society with you?” She burst into laughter. “I would be honored.”
The Gryffindor-Ravenclaw game was spectacularly exciting, with Ron Weasley making a remarkable thirty-six saves as Keeper and Cho Chang just barely beating out Harry Potter in a race to the Snitch to prevent a runaway Gryffindor victory.
“Now if Hufflepuff beats Gryffindor next week, we’ll be in first place in the standings for the Quidditch Cup!” Hannah exclaimed to you eagerly as the two of you walked back to the castle. “We’ll be in great position for the House Cup as well, we’ve been earning loads of House Points lately. Slytherin was just ahead of us, and they lost a ton of points last week.”
“Oh yeah, wasn’t that a party that got busted or something?” you asked, vaguely remembering overhearing a conversation about the incident during Herbology several days previously.
“The fifth-year boys got caught with a stash of Firewhiskey that would be better suited to the Three Broomsticks than a Hogwarts dormitory,” Hannah clarified with a laugh.
“I’m surprised it wasn’t the sixth years,” you remarked, shaking your head. “I’ve seen Zabini’s stash, that guy could open up his own pub and have stock to spare.”
“Oh, Zabini,” she sighed, shaking her head and giggling slightly in spite of herself. “The last time I went to a Slytherin party, he was so drunk he called me ‘Susan’ the entire night and then spilled wine down the front of my dress.”
“He’s lucky you’re so good at Cleaning Charms.”
“He’s lucky I’m not better at the Bat-Bogey Hex,” she retorted playfully. You fell into a comfortable silence as you entered the castle, winding through the entrance hall, up the stairs, and past the library. “Shoot.” She frowned as she looked at the library doors. “I need to go find a book to finish that essay for McGonagall, I completely forgot to do that yesterday.”
“Oh, did you want to go now?” You paused in your tracks. “I can come with you.” Hannah shook her head.
“It’s from the Restricted Section, I haven’t got the permission note with me,” she explained, running a hand through her hair. “Ugh, I’m going to have to go get it from the common room and come all the way back. I’ve got so much work left to do on that essay, I’m going to be up all night.”
“Isn’t that the one that’s due tomorrow?” She nodded despairingly. You felt a sudden surge of relief that you’d finished your assignments so early. “What’re you writing it about? I finished mine on Tuesday and I didn’t need to get anything from the Restricted Section.”
“I chose the unregistered animagi and illegal animal transformations prompt, I definitely need to go to the Restricted Section,” she sighed, her forehead crinkling with stress. “And it’s going to take forever to find too, the Transfiguration shelves are terribly organized…I don’t know if I’ll be able to finish it. I can’t believe I put it off for this long.”
“Hey, it’s okay,” you interjected, placing a gentle hand on Hannah’s shoulder. “Are there parts of the essay you can do without that book?” She nodded. “Okay, perfect. I’ve already finished that essay, I’ll go find the book for you and then help you with yours.”
“Really? Oh, you’re the best,” she remarked, beaming.
“It’s nothing,” you dismissed with a grin. “We’re gonna get this done, okay?”
“Okay,” she declared. “Right, we’ve got this.”
Hannah revised her essay outline while the two of you ate dinner in the Great Hall. You were enjoying the food and the company until shrill giggles reached your ears from across the room. Glancing toward the source of the noise, you saw that it was none other than Lisa Turpin, fussing and laughing loudly as she sat on Mattheo’s lap. His hands were all over her, and before you could avert your eyes, they started snogging aggressively.
“Oh, ew,” you groaned, your nose wrinkling in disgust as you looked back towards Hannah, who was across from you at the table.
“What?” She glanced up at your objection. You nodded towards the Slytherin table and she turned around, her expression soon mirroring yours. “Nasty,” she remarked, shaking her head as she turned back to her parchment. “There are literally professors here! That’s disgusting. Acquire a sense of shame, please.”
“It’s so good to not be with someone who has no concept of boundaries,” you declared, flipping your hair. To your surprise, you really meant it. You didn’t feel the expected twinge of sadness when you saw Mattheo and Lisa together – just secondhand embarrassment.
“Cheers to that,” Hannah added, lifting her glass of pumpkin juice. You clinked yours against it, taking a sip of the sweet drink.
After dinner, you headed back to the Hufflepuff common room with Hannah, where she passed the permission note to access the Restricted Section on to you.
“No one should check too closely – Madame Pince is off duty after 8. But just in case,” she added, lifting her wand to the parchment and murmuring an incantation under her breath. When she handed it to you, you saw that it now said your name on it instead of hers. “Thank you so much, you’re the best.”
“Of course! No worries at all,” you assured her. “I’ll be back as soon as I can.”
The library was quiet when you entered – most people must’ve gone back to their common rooms after dinner. Feeling slightly nervous even though you had a note, you walked through the stacks until you found the discreet Restricted Section. Carefully, you entered, the parchment from Hannah providing reassurance in your hand as you inspected the shelves. The only sound around you was the click of your shoes on the floor and an inexplicable hum emanating from one of the tomes sitting in the Defense Against the Dark Arts section. After a few moments of searching, you found the shelves containing the Transfiguration texts.
“Animal transformations…animals, animals, animals,” you murmured to yourself, skimming the spines of each book on the shelves. You shifted from crouching to kneeling to standing on your tiptoes, searching the texts, but you couldn’t seem to spot the book listed on the note. Grimacing, you wondered if this was going to be more difficult than you’d imagined.
Your resolve still strong, you crossed the aisle and began inspecting another set of shelves full of Transfiguration texts. Though you found scrolls, aging encyclopedias, instructions for transforming human skulls into all sorts of objects, and one collection of volumes that were suspiciously cold to the touch and looked as though their bindings were on the verge of crumbling, you couldn’t seem to locate to book in question. In the silence, you began to lose track of yourself as you explored.
“Sneaking about, are we?”
Nearly jumping out of your skin as a deep voice broke your focus, you whipped around to see none other than Tom Riddle standing behind you.
“Merlin!” you exclaimed, breathing hard as you put a hand to your heart. “You scared me.” He stepped forward, and a tingle ran down your spine at his close proximity.
“What are you looking for?” he asked in a low voice. Your mind went blank as you found yourself captive in his intense stare, and you scrambled for a few seconds until you recalled the note in your hand.
“Um, this,” you finally replied, swallowing thickly as you handed him the parchment. His eyes scanned the writing for a bit before he placed the note back in your hand. He turned around, striding towards the end of the bookcase you’d been exploring. With ease, he withdrew a text from the shelf and placed it in your hands. Your breath caught in your throat as your fingers came to rest on top of his, and you felt your spine press against the shelves behind you as you stepped back.
“Spiritae Bestiae, that’s a fascinating text.” He met your gaze with interest. “Of course, I’m sure Madame Pince would prefer if Abbot retrieved her own selections from the Restricted Section.” You felt your cheeks flush as you wondered how on Earth he’d known.
“She’s worried about getting the essay done by the due date, I offered to get the book for her to save her some time,” you explained softly. His eyes softened almost imperceptibly, the harsh expression on his face fading into something more neutral.
“I suppose this can be our little secret,” he replied, releasing his hold on the volume. For a moment, he stood before you, stealing the breath from your lungs with his emerald gaze as he watched you. Then, slowly, he stepped away and you came to your senses, moving back into the aisle as he pulled a book that had been on the shelf behind him away from its place.
“What’s that for?” You were scarcely able to hear your voice over the sound of your heartbeat in your ears.
“Nosy, nosy,” he murmured, the corner of his mouth tilting up into a little smirk. Your face grew warm again. “Professor Slughorn asked me to obtain it. I’ll be providing him with some after-hours assistance brewing potions next week.” He began to thumb through the pages and you stepped forward, standing on your toes to look over his shoulder. The pictures that adorned some of the pages looked rather gruesome, with one unfortunately afflicted individual grasping at his back while a pair of bat wings burst forth from his shoulder blades, and another grimacing as a tongue like a snake’s emerged from his mouth.
“Yikes,” you remarked to yourself. Tom glanced over his shoulder, suddenly made aware of your presence, and decisively pushed you a few steps back with his forearm.
“That’s not for your eyes, darling,” he stated, closing the book harshly and causing it to emit a small puff of dust.
“I’m not a child, Tom.” You crossed your arms playfully, his serious gaze clashing with your grin.
“This author has a deep fascination with magic of the most twisted nature,” he said, frowning. “You’re too sweet to be worrying yourself with such things.”
Your heart fluttered at his words, but you couldn’t help indulging your twinge of curiosity. “What does Professor Slughorn want with it then?” Tom began to walk toward the exit of the Restricted Section and you fell into step next to him.
“Unfortunately, the author of this book, for all of his morbid fascinations, was also a gifted Potions master,” he explained. “One of his great inventions was a powerful potion for dreamless sleep, the original recipe for which resides here.” He held up the dusty text in his hand. “It’s been revised endless times by other scholars hoping to improve it, but Professor Slughorn suspects that the original formula is actually superior. He hopes to test that theory.”
“That’s…really groundbreaking work,” you remarked, raising your eyebrows. “Healers use dreamless sleep potions all the time. If you rediscovered a formula that was more effective than the existing ones, that would be incredible.” You’d always known that Tom was the most promising student in his year, but this was on a different level entirely.
“We hope so.” There was a moment of silence as the two of you left the Restricted Section and began to walk through the standard library stacks. “Are you…alright?”
The words sounded foreign in his mouth, and you nearly asked what on Earth he was talking about until you remembered how distressed you’d been about Mattheo the last time the two of you had talked. Oddly, it felt like a lifetime ago.
“Oh, I’m okay,” you replied quickly. “Honestly, it doesn’t even really bother me anymore. Seeing him sucking face with Turpin in the middle of the Great Hall made me lose any respect I had left for him.”
“Indeed.” You glanced over at him and saw his eyes flicker slightly. In a second it was gone, and he scoffed. “They were getting far too intimate in the Slytherin common room when I left. Between ordering them to get off each other every five minutes and listening to Malfoy’s constant yammering, it’s been impossible to concentrate lately.” The two of you came to a long table sitting amongst the bookshelves and he placed the book in his hand down, then set his school bag next to it. He removed a number of other books from it, including an old Ancient Runes dictionary and the narrow black one that you recognized as his notebook, along with a quill and ink pot. Hesitantly, you sat down next to him. You supposed that spending five more minutes with Tom wouldn’t delay your delivery of Hannah’s book too significantly.
“Is that why you came to the library?”
“Yes.” You opened the book you’d just obtained, your eyes skimming the pages as he wrote hastily on the parchment in front of him. His handwriting was sharp and neat, the letters tightly clustered together. As he wrote, the silver rings on his fingers flashed in the dim light. “NEWTs aren’t far away, I need some quiet.”
“Well, I suppose I ought to stop distracting you then.” You laughed, feeling slightly awkward.
“That isn’t what I meant.” His statement was abrupt and you blinked in surprise.
“Then…I’ll stay.”
“Please.”
You found a strange peace sitting there next to him, reading the book in your arms as he took notes. Acutely aware of his close proximity, your mind wandered from the words before you.
“Have you ever considered becoming an Animagus?” you asked suddenly. If there was any Hogwarts student with the talent to do so, it was him. He raised his eyebrows, not looking up from his notes.
“I have other things to worry about at the present moment, unfortunately.” He let out a heavy breath.
“Like your experiments with Slughorn?”
“Yes, and Head Boy matters,” he said, finally looking up. “And finding suitable employment as graduation approaches, and other things. But I am certain it would be a worthy goal in the future.”
“What form do you think you would take?” Your eyes sparkled with intrigue.
“I – “
“Tom!”
You both started and whipped your heads around at the sudden noise, looking for the source. It appeared to be a girl who was rapidly approaching, ignoring the stares she was receiving for making such a loud noise in the library. As she drew closer, you recognized her as a fifth-year and a Prefect. The girl’s face was glistening with sweat and more of her hair seemed to be escaping from her ponytail than actually captured in it.
“What is it, Nancy?” Tom asked curtly.
“There’s a rogue Fanged Frisbee hurtling around the Owlery,” she wailed. “No one can seem to capture it, it’s already bitten a few people, the owls are losing their minds –”
“Oh, for Salazar’s sake,” he snapped to himself as he stood, quickly tossing his books, quill, and inkwell back into his bag. “Please tell them I’ll be right there.” The girl rushed off and Tom glanced back at you. He watched you with an indiscernible expression as you gave him a soft smile. For a second, he paused as though contemplating something, then he gave you a polite nod and turned his back to you, following the Prefect with quick, authoritative steps. After he left, you turned back to the table to grab Hannah’s book and leave yourself. As you did so, your eyes caught sight of the little black book that Tom always kept with him.
“Shoot,” you sighed, realizing that he must have left it behind in his haste to sort out the Owlery situation. “Tom?” you called, hurrying towards the front of the library, but he was long gone. Shrugging your shoulders, you set the book on top of your own and scooped them both up in your arms, resolving to return his later.
With your help, Hannah did manage to finish her essay by the next morning, though neither of you got very much sleep as a result. The next morning, the two of you made the exhausted trek to the Great Hall for breakfast, yawning copiously all the while.
“Ugh, what I wouldn’t do for a double dose of Pepperup Potion right now,” Hannah complained, holding her head in one hand and a glass of pumpkin juice in the other. She looked as though she were about to fall into her plate of eggs and toast.
“Uh, Han?” You glanced up to see Ernie MacMillan glancing over at the two of you hesitantly from the other side of the table.
“What, Ernie?” she snapped in a tone that could curdle milk.
“That’s my pumpkin juice,” he squeaked, wincing as he nodded at the glass she was holding.
“Oh, Helga’s – sorry,” she groaned squinting at the glass in her hand and then sliding it back over to the other side of the table.
“Did I miss a party or something last night?” Ernie asked. “Are you hung over?” You shook your head.
“I was working on McGonagall’s essay,” Hannah explained.
“I helped,” you chimed in.
“You’ve got to stop putting things off until the last minute.” Hannah rolled her eyes. As your friends began to bicker, their voices faded from your attention as you glanced around the Great Hall. You saw several fellow sixth-years frantically trying to finish up their Transfiguration essays as others chatted eagerly around them. For a moment, your eyes paused on Tom, who was sitting at the end of the Slytherin table, reading as usual. On closer inspection, you saw that he was paging through the book he’d gotten from the Restricted Section the previous night. You smiled to yourself, remembering the sound of his voice and the feeling of his touch as he’d handed your elusive book to you.
“Uh, Y/N? Earth to Y/N.” Hannah’s voice suddenly cut through your thoughts and you snapped back to reality as you quickly turned towards her. She was watching you with an expression of concern. “Heads up,” she added, pointing behind you. You spun around, confused. As you took in the situation, your heart dropped. Mattheo Riddle was approaching the Hufflepuff table, his eyes dead set on you.
“Oh, you’ve got to be kidding me.” You dared to hope for a second that you were mistaken and he was actually headed towards the Gryffindor table behind you, but sure enough, he was soon standing before you, that annoying little smirk that he usually wore on his face.
“Get out of here, Riddle,” Ernie snarled. You had to hand it to him, he made a great effort to intimidate the Slytherin who was easily half again his size. Unfortunately, Mattheo just chuckled, raising an incredulous eyebrow in the other boy’s direction.
“Good to see you too, MacMillan,” he drawled before turning his attention back to you. “Alright, Y/N?”
“Perfectly fine, Riddle,” you said curtly. “Good of you to stop by.” You turned back to your food, hoping that he would take the hint to leave, but he seemed to deliberately ignore it.
“Can’t we talk?”
Your face contorted in bewilderment as you turned back towards him. “No?”
“Look, baby.” Your eyes widened, shocked to hear the nickname that he’d called you when the two of you had been seeing each other. “We had a fight, we both said things we regret, it happens. But…I miss talking to you, alright?” Your brows furrowed in shock and anger, and you stood almost involuntarily.
“We didn’t have a fight,” you snapped. You crossed your arms in front of you. “You decided that you were seeing someone else. Why don’t you go bother her instead?” He tensed.
“Baby, she can’t compare to you.” His voice was oddly gentle, and it made you want to recoil. “I made an impulsive decision, but you’re the best I’ve ever had.”
You blinked in disbelief. This had to be some sort of sick joke, right? There was no way Mattheo was actually this stupid, arrogant, oblivious…
“Are you daft?” The words escaped your mouth before you could stop them, and you stared at him with wide eyes. “Genuinely, what is it like inside your head? You were snogging Turpin in the middle of the Great Hall yesterday.”
“I was trying to block out the pain of losing you!”
“Which was, for the record, entirely self-inflicted.”
“Please.” His eyes were wide, and it alarmed you how good he was at imitating sincerity. “If you want me to beg, I’ll beg. Please give me another chance.”
“You are with someone else.”
“Turpin knows it’s over,” he replied hastily. “I called it off last night.”
As his words sank in, you recalled what Tom had told you the previous night – they were getting far too intimate in the Slytherin common room when I left. Your blood boiled.
“You’re lying, Mattheo,” you snapped, your voice shaking in anger. “You’re lying to me! Again! I know exactly what you and Turpin were doing last night, and it wasn’t breaking up.” His eyes widened.
“Who – How…”
“Your brother,” you finished, crossing your arms as you smirked at him. “Who is sick and tired of hearing your PDA in the Slytherin common room while he’s trying to study, by the way.” Mattheo’s eyes darkened, glaring into yours.
“Why were you talking to – “
“Oh, get a grip.” Your lip curled in distaste. “Go pick someone else to bother, Riddle. I’m not in the mood.” He looked for a moment like he might say something, but then turned around and strode away. You sat back down at the table as Ernie and Hannah stared at you, eyes wide.
“Nice work,” Ernie finally said, blinking in surprise.
“Thank you!” you replied with a little shrug. “I thought so.”
You finished your food quickly, eager to get to History of Magic so that you could think about anything except how annoyed you were at Mattheo. Finally, you, Hannah, and Ernie were able to pack your things and leave the Great Hall. You were nagged by the slight feeling that you were forgetting something, but you were anxious enough to leave that you pushed it out of your mind.
“That was bizarre,” Hannah remarked, shaking her head as the three of you walked down the corridor. “I mean, if I was daft enough to lose you I’d beg for you to take me back too, but while he’s still snogging someone else? What exactly did he think was going to happen?”
“I’ve no idea,” you replied with a shrug. “I can’t believe I had to hear that with my own two ears. I’m half inclined to tell Turpin about the whole thing.”
“I feel like she ought to know,” Hannah agreed. “I’ll talk to her after Muggle Studies.”
As you walked, you stuck a hand in your bag to make sure you had all of your textbooks for the day. History of Magic, Arithmancy, Care of Magical Creatures… suddenly, your fingers touched an unfamiliar spine. Glancing down, you remembered the small black notebook that was tucked in between your supplies. “Shoot, I knew there was something I was forgetting.” You turned to Hannah, pulling the book out of your bag. “I forgot to give Tom back his planner, or whatever this thing is.”
“How’d you end up with Tom Riddle’s notebook?” Ernie asked, frowning. “He’s always writing in that thing when he leads Prefect meetings, I didn’t think he’d let it out of his sight.”
“I dunno, we ran into each other in the library. He left it on the table when he had to run off and deal with some Fanged Frisbee situation.”
“I heard about that!” he exclaimed. “I was out on patrols on the other side of the castle, but Goldstein was there, and he said it was madness until Riddle showed up. Apparently he got rid of the thing in under two minutes!”
“Really?” You raised your eyebrows. “That’s impressive.” Hannah shot you a knowing look and you felt your cheeks turn pink.
“What a pair of brothers, huh?” Ernie chuckled to himself. “They’ve both got to have some sort of complex.”
You laughed. “Mattheo, I’ll agree with. Tom’s not so bad.”
“Did you see him during breakfast?” You shook your head and Ernie shuddered. “Dunno how you didn’t notice, he kept looking over at our table. He looked like he was ready to kill.”
Tom wasn’t at lunch or dinner. Ernie informed you that he’d seen him in the hall having some hushed conversation with Slughorn, and you wondered if their experiment had panned out. By evening, though, you were getting anxious to return the thing – you figured that if he kept it with him everywhere he went, he probably needed it. And as much as you were embarrassed to admit it to yourself, you liked the idea of having a reason to go see him. So as night fell, you ventured through the corridors and to the Slytherin common room, hoping that no one had changed the password since Mattheo had given it to you when the two of you were together.
“Vici,” you declared when you reached the hidden entrance, and to your relief, the door opened. Stepping through the wall, you glanced around the large, dimly-lit room, feeling quite out of your element indeed. The eerie green light of the Black Lake shone off the faces of those sitting in the common room, some of them turning around to glance at you in confusion as you strode past, your steps echoing off the stone floor. As you looked back at them, you felt suddenly self-conscious – you hadn’t stopped to think about just how strange it would seem for you to be here after your very public falling-out with one of the school’s most infamous Slytherins.
Tom was nowhere to be seen, and neither, thankfully, was Mattheo. However, you did spot a few of the sixth-year Slytherins that they typically hung around sitting in the corner by a large statue – Draco Malfoy, Pansy Parkinson, Blaise Zabini, Theo Nott, and Enzo Berkshire. As they turned to look at you, part of you wanted to run and hide, but you steeled yourself with a deep breath. You’re just returning a lost object to a friend, it’s no big deal, you reminded yourself as you approached.
“Um, hey guys,” you said, putting on what you hoped was a friendly smile. You directed your words mostly at Enzo – you’d always found him to be the least intimidating. “Does anyone know where Tom is? He left his little black notebook that he’s always carrying in the library last night and I know he must be anxious to get it back.” Pansy and Draco glanced at each other, her shooting him a look that you couldn’t decipher as Enzo grinned at you reassuringly.
“Yeah, sure thing,” he replied lightly. “He’s probably up in his dormitory. Do you know where the Head’s dormitory is in here?” You shook your head.
“Sorry.”
“No worries, you’re going to want to go two flights of stairs up from the sixth-year boys’ dormitory and it’s right there. It’s the only room on the level, you can’t miss it.”
“Amazing, thank you so much.” You waved politely at the group. “Good to see you all!” Enzo waved back, while the others acknowledged your departure with nods or less friendly stares. Letting out a breath of relief as you left, you strode toward the stairwell and climbed the numerous flights to the room that Enzo had informed you was Tom’s.
The level felt eerily isolated. As far as you knew, the castle spontaneously created and eliminated Head student dormitories based on which houses the Head students were in each year, and the level you were on certainly had an odd air to it, as if it didn’t quite belong with the other dormitories. While the doors to the sixth year boys’ dormitories had been perpetually open and the room had usually been full of students coming in and out, chatting loudly, this floor came abruptly to a stop before a singular, closed door. You were initially unnerved by the silence, but as you drew closer, the sound of harsh voices reached your ears.
You took pains to quiet your steps as you approached the door. Someone else was in Tom’s dormitory, and they weren’t having a friendly conversation. You wondered if the other person was Slughorn – had something gone bad during the experiment? But in the stillness, it became clear that the other party was much younger, the voice less weathered. It was one you knew well. The other person behind the door, you realized, was Mattheo.
You raised your fist to knock, but a sudden shout halted you. “I won’t tolerate this anymore!” The voice was sharp and cutting: Tom’s. You paused, not wanting to eavesdrop, but reluctant to interrupt as well.
“Tolerate what?” Mattheo demanded. His voice was slightly quieter, and it was more difficult to hear his words. “ – can’t let me have anything!”
“You disgrace our family name!” Tom roared, so ferocious that it made you jump in your skin. “You know the circumstances by which we live, that we have to work twice as hard as anyone else to gain respect because of the destruction our parents wrought!” His voice grew lower. “…us to have good things…opportunities…squander it all…” You involuntarily stepped closer to the door, but he began shouting again. “I stuck my neck out for you once and I’m not going to do it again!”
“I’m not asking you to do it again, you daft toerag!” Mattheo shot back. “—out of my business…Stop…deserving of everything!”
“...a person, not a thing, Mattheo,” Tom snarled. Your eyes widened and you felt yourself jolt slightly in surprise. “—can’t…pick up and put down…wouldn’t keep fueling your lies.”
“Oh, for Salazar’s sake, stop being so self-righteous!” A moment later, something smashed against the wall. “Guess what…chose me.” Your brows furrowed. Who were they talking about? The bits of conversation were so fragmented that it was difficult to tell.
“…this morning.”
“...would’ve done if you hadn’t gotten involved!”
“By sharing that you still had your tongue in Turpin’s mouth last night?” Tom loudly demanded. “Are you so…anyone telling the truth makes you angry?” Your mind began churning as you connected the dots. Mattheo had asked you to get back together with him that morning…but you’d said no because Tom had told you that he and Lisa were still together. That was what they were arguing about.
“I have every right to be angry!” Mattheo roared. You were barely standing close to the door, but his exclamations were plain to hear. “You don’t get to be some emotionless freak for seventeen years…decide that the one person that you want is someone who's mine!” Your breathing abruptly ceased as your heart pounded in your throat. You stared at the door in front of you in disbelief.
“...was never yours” The fury in Tom’s voice sent chills down your spine as he taunted his brother. “…perfectly clear on that…suited you…”
“You couldn’t have cared less what I did before!” Mattheo scoffed. “Now I have to listen to your harping every day…as if you care! …your reputation...just admit it!”
“That has nothing to do with this!”
“Right…don’t feel baser emotions.” Mattheo’s voice turned dark and faded into the distance.
The muffled conversation continued for some time. Then, there was a moment of silence, and footsteps began approaching. You panicked, looking for a place to hide. To your relief, you saw a large bookcase in the corner perpendicular to the dormitory and ducked into the shadows next to it.
“…end this way,” came Mattheo’s voice as the door opened.
“Leave.”
The threat in Tom’s voice was clear, and you shivered.
“...mine first, you know,” Mattheo said darkly, a hint of arrogance sneaking through in his voice as he stepped through the doorway. You longed to step out from behind the bookcase and smack him. “That will never change.”
“Leave!”
From the shadows, you saw Mattheo storm out, his footsteps echoing noisily down the otherwise silent hall. You held your breath, but to your relief he didn’t seem to suspect any other presence in the corridor, and quickly disappeared down the stairwell. You closed your eyes and let out a heavy breath. In the darkness, you could feel the tremor of your hands.
“Who’s out there?”
You barely managed to stifle your gasp of surprise as your eyes flew open. Tom was glancing around the corridor, wand in hand as he looked out the open door of his dormitory. How could he possibly know for sure that someone else was present? You stayed hidden.
“Who’s out there?”
His body tensed, his grip on his wand tightening. Nervously, you bit your lip and emerged from the shadows before you could think better of it. You prayed that it wasn’t too obvious how long you’d been there.
“Um, hi,” you squeaked, your voice cutting through the silence of the corridor.
“Y/N?”
“Yes, hi,” you repeated, your shaking hands struggling to pull the little black notebook from your bag. “Um, you left your planner in the library last night, and I figured you would want it, but I got a little…preoccupied…this morning, and then you weren’t around all day – Ernie told me that you were with Slughorn, by the way, congratulations, hope it went well – and I still knew the Slytherin password, so I came around, and, well, here.” You thrust the notebook out in front of you, clamping your mouth shut to stop yourself from rambling. “I figured you would want it.”
“I haven’t got a – oh, that.” Understanding took shape on his face as he saw the notebook. His features smoothed as he took it from you, trapping you in his piercing gaze. He stepped away from you and you wondered if he was just going to slip back into his room, but he paused. “It seems you are very nosy, darling.” You felt your face heat up.
“I didn’t look inside, if that’s what you’re wondering,” you assured him, your voice shaking slightly.
“Eavesdropping is never a good way to stay out of trouble,” he countered, looking back at you and raising his eyebrows slightly. You froze as he opened his bedroom door.
“Wait, Tom,” you called before you could stop yourself. He turned around you’re your nervousness seized you again, your stomach dropping. “I…” You took a deep breath, struggling for words. “You and Mattheo were arguing. Why?”
“That’s none of your business,” he replied, his voice as cold as ever.
“I know that it is.”
He stared at you in silence, and you felt a bolt of anxiety run through you. Maybe you’d misheard him somehow or misinterpreted the conversation. You began to panic, but stilled as he stepped closer to you.
“How much did you hear?” His tone was chilling.
“Enough,” you declared defiantly. “Enough to know that you were arguing about…about what you told me last night. And about me.” He rolled his eyes.
“This is ridiculous.” He stepped back. “I appreciate you returning my things, don’t bother me with this again.” As he turned to leave for the second time, you shook your head incredulously. How could this be over? All of your cards were out on the table already, you had nothing to lose.
“That’s a shame,” you said, forcefully enough to freeze him in his tracks. “Because…I would choose you, you know.”
Again, he said nothing, and again you felt panic rising in your chest as he stood with his back to you, unmoving. Fine, then, you’d said your peace. Turning on your heel, you decided that the best thing to do was cut your losses and leave. But as you stepped away, you felt a strong grip on your wrist pulling you back. Your skin tingled as he drew you back to him.
“Don’t play games with me, darling,” he murmured, a nearly imperceptible tremor in his own voice. “If all you want is to wind up my brother…”
“I couldn’t care less about that,” you replied, your heart pounding in your chest with a force you hadn’t even known was possible as you took a step towards him. “I’m not here to get under Mattheo’s skin, Tom. I can’t stop thinking about you. I want you.”
He held you in his gaze, the silence palpable. Then, suddenly, he was very close, and all you wanted was for him to be closer. He took your face in his hands and crashed his lips into yours.
You froze for a moment, then came to your senses and started to kiss him back, grabbing the collar of his shirt in your hands as you felt his arms snake around your waist, giving you chills. The kiss was slow and deliberate, spine-tingling, unlike anything you’d ever experienced. When the two of you finally broke apart you could feel yourself shaking, your knees weak.
“I’m sorry that I listened in.” Your voice faltered as you gazed up at him.
“I’m not.”
A wave of heat appeared in his eyes and you took the initiative this time, standing on your tiptoes to kiss him. It was euphoric. His touches were slow and deliberate, as though he knew just how to take you apart piece by piece and he had every intention of doing so. Something in your body had craved the feeling of his hands on your skin since the first time you’d experienced it in the corridors, and you were finally able to indulge your addiction.
As he backed you into the cold stone wall of the corridor, his lips moved to the skin on your collarbone and you bit your lip hard in an effort to stifle the gasp that threatened to escape, remembering somewhere in the back of your mind that someone might hear you from down the stairs. He seemed to notice your hesitation and picked you up suddenly, bringing you to the other side of the doorway so that the two of you stood in his dormitory. For good measure, as he set you down, he gestured to the door beside him and it slammed closed, the air heavy with magic. You raised your eyebrows, wondering if some of the professors would even be capable of such a wordless, wandless spell.
“You know you can just close those with your hands, right?” You couldn’t resist the urge to tease him, recalling that fateful day in the library when you’d snapped your quill in half. Your spine tingled with anticipation as he narrowed his eyes at you, smirking.
“Salazar, you do have a smart mouth on you.” He backed you up against the wall, his voice low and hungry. “Who knew an angel could have such an attitude?”
“Yeah?” you retorted, your eyes sparkling mischievously. “Shut me up, then.”
He captured your lips in another mind-blowing kiss and your mind went blank as you let his touch intoxicate you. It was right, it was perfect, it was everything you wanted. You felt like you’d finally found your way home after a long wander in the dark.
“With pleasure, my darling.”
As the sun rose in the sky the next morning, you glanced into the Great Hall through the entryway, eyeing the calm and sleepy students who ate their breakfast amidst quiet conversation. Sunlight streamed in through the windows, and the scene looked utterly serene. You glanced up at Tom, who was already watching you with the slightest hint of a smile on his face. His arm was wrapped around your waist protectively, assuring you of his presence beside you.
“Ready to go shake things up a bit?” you asked, giggling softly.
“Maybe it’ll give the children enough to chatter about that they don’t go releasing feral frisbees in the Owlery.”
“Unlikely.” You grinned up at him. “But it’s worth a shot.”
“Indeed.” He absentmindedly ran his fingers through the ends of your hair as you took a deep breath. “Are you certain that you’re ready?” You shrugged.
“Oh, I figure that we’ll scandalize the school for a few days, and then someone will score a really great goal in Quidditch or drink too much Firewhiskey at a party and everyone will have something else to talk about. I’m not worried.” Then your brow furrowed. “What about you and Mattheo? Are you two going to be okay?” Tom glanced at you calmly.
“Family troubles are inherent to carrying the surname Riddle.” His thumb stroked your hip softly. “It won’t be the end of us.”
You nodded, taking in the silence for one final moment.
“Alright. I’m ready.”
His arm rested on your hip, holding you close, as the two of you stepped into the Great Hall together.
#tom riddle x reader#tom riddle x y/n#tom riddle x you#tom riddle x reader insert#tom riddle#tom riddle fic#ooc tom riddle#slytherin boys#slytherin x reader#slytherin boys fic#slytherin#hogwarts#mattheo riddle#theo nott#lorenzo berkshire#blaise zabini#draco malfoy#pansy parkinson
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Hello!
I've had a brain worm about your cottagecore verse stuck in my head for a month now, so I'm finally sharing it.
The mob that stormed Hob's cottage in Eskham didn't come out of nowhere. Someone has been spreading rumours about a dangerous creature in the hedgewitch's cabin for some time. Someone who doesn't particularly like their older brother. Desire knew that they would have to stoke the tension in the village carefully, so that when the villagers' fear got the better of them, Dream would not be there to save Hob. They knew very well that even armed with torches and iron, a mob of peasants wouldn't stand a chance against a fae prince. That didn't matter though - Desire didn't need the mortals to hurt their brother directly; he just needed to be taught a lesson about taking human lovers. Getting banished from the realm of the fae just wasn't enough.
What Desire didn't expect was to be on the recieving end of a similar fate as their brother - turns out that Mother Night does not approve of her children taking human consorts, even if that child might excel at cruel games and bargains. Long story short, when Desire falls in love with a travelling sorceress named Unity, they are yeeted out from their mother's court much like Dream was.
I think it would be funny if Desire ended up getting tossed into Hob's garden while Dream is away doing fae things™️ in the forest. At first Hob panics (understandably, they aren't really expecting visitors in the middle of nowhere), but once he recognises that the being currently squishing his strawberries is another fae, he brings them inside (does he hope that seeing another of his kind might make Dream happy? Maybe. Think of it as enrichment for your lover). Needless to say, Dream isn't exactly thrilled to see his sibling, especially when they let slip that they're rather surprised to find them both alive and (relatively) well. Oopsie, your sibling might have had something to do with your recent troubles, Dream (who would have thought).
I'm hoping for some sort of reconciliation and some reflection from Desire? Maybe being shunned by their kind might help them reconnect. After all, Desire's gonna need all the help they can get if they are to find their beloved out there...
OMG I love this so much, thank you for sharing this glorious brain worm! I love the idea that Desire is out in the mortal realm doing market research for plotting his brother’s downfall and in the process meets Unity and—I’m imagining it wasn’t quite so Love At First Sight, because sorceress!Unity definitely knows better than to tangle with the fae and wants nothing to do with any of Desire’s shit. (Desire’s always liked a challenge.) But eventually, somehow, despite both of their better judgements, the love does happen.
Also love the idea of Desire getting dumped into the (Dream’s! Special!) strawberry patch—they’re probably not looking too hot, ala Dream when he was first exiled. Hob absolutely takes them into the house as soon as he sees the ears. He’s learned to be wary of his fellow mortals but he’s still a sucker for fae, especially ones who bear a familial resemblance to his lover, and especially ones who are all alone 😩 and hurt 😩. (Dream obviously is unimpressed with all of this, but Hob is at this point well-practiced in tuning out Dream’s Are You Trying To Get Yourself Killed, I Don’t Care That You Survived Thirty-Three Years Without Me, You Won’t Be Surviving The Next Five Minutes If You Don’t Start Apologizing, You Useless Fragile Mortal Tirade).
Also! The idea of Dream and Desire hissing faeish insults at each other over the dinner table while Hob is desperately trying to steer the conversation back to English—hysterical. Dream getting possessive of Hob when Desire looks at him a few seconds too long, and Desire being like “I absolutely do not want your grubby little bear-man, Dream, calm your tits. Unlike you, I have standards.”—excellent. I love it all.
(Though let’s be real, in this particular AU the moment Dream finds out Desire was the reason that Hob got shishkebabed, this goes from a family feud to attempted murder real quick. IDK if Dream would get over that for… at least a few decades. Desire would be turfed out of the house so fast their head would spin. Their only saving grace might be if Hob suggests that the faster they find Unity, the faster Desire will be out of their hair.)
I’ll be honest, the possibilities for fae!Dream + siblings are limitless and wonderful, and I’m constantly sad that the cottagecore ‘verse ended up constructed in a way that means—without some very exceptional circumstances, as you have crafted here—we won’t ever really see Dream interacting with his family ever again. At least, not in the official version. Please feel free to tell me all about the elaborate ways in which fae!Dream and Desire get forced into a metaphorical Get Along Shirt, or Death dropping by with little fae care packages with all the stuff Dream misses from his home, or Delirium going on forest walks with Dream and asking him ten million questions about all the strange mortal animals and plants. Dream deserves better relationships with his siblings than what I dealt him in this ‘verse. <3
#under the cut because i went long on this answer#but omg i loved this so much#cottagecore needs an au with 1000% more endless sibling involvement#cottagecore verse#dream of the endless#desire of the endless#sandman#hob gadling#dreamling#my writing
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fire and salt (aemond ff)
part I
summary: Vaella, daughter of Laenor Velaryon and Rhaenyra Targaryen, is caught in a web of political intrigue and family tension. She's about to marry Aemond Targaryen, a man who has despised her since childhood. Though the marriage is supposed to strengthen alliances, Vaella knows it could bring nothing but torment. Despite her fear, she is determined to find her place in King's Landing, where whispers can be as deadly as dragonfire. But the last thing she expects is to fall in love with someone she shouldn't—especially when it’s someone whose affection could lead to more turmoil than she can imagine...
word count: 3800
tags: complicated relationship, childhood trauma, mutual pining, eventual smut (not in the first part tho!)
author's note: well... I wanted to explore Aemond character more, push him to the edge, cross the line and see what's on the other side. I’d love to hear what you think of it <3
also! you can read it on ao3 ♡
The world was on fire. My limbs consumed by the searing heat. I writhed in agony as t he dragon tore into my body, its talons digging deep into my yielding flesh with a sickening crunch. I opened my mouth to scream, but no sound escaped—only a silent, gasping struggle as my breath faltered and my lungs strained against the crushing weight of pain. Tears streamed down my cheeks, streaking my vision with a blur of terror and despair. The dragon's eyes, cold and pitiless, betrayed no hint of emotion as it devoured me alive. Its fangs, dripping with my blood, sank into my belly, ripping muscle and sinew with a brutal force. The beast's dark scales shimmered, then I woke up in a jolt, drenched in sweat, my heart racing as if still fleeing from the dragon’s embrace. But the slick wetness between my thighs was more alarming than any nightmare; it carried a chill that seeped deep into my bones.
Blood. The first sign that my destiny was no longer my own.
I sat still in my bed. My knife, always within reach, rested on the nightstand. I ran my fingers along its edge. I knew this moment would come—it was a grim certainty, woven into the fabric of any woman—but that didn't make it any easier to face. I'd told myself I was prepared, that I'd grown accustomed to the idea of leaving when the blood came. But when it finally did, I felt as if the earth beneath me shifted, unsteady, pulling me toward a path I had no choice but to walk.
I sat there for a long time, staring at the stone walls of my room, trying to push back the tide of dread. For a fleeting moment, I wondered if I could hide it, if I could somehow extend my time at Dragonstone. But the duty I was born into would not wait, and there was no escaping the grim reality of what awaited me. My fate had been sealed the moment my bloodline began, and now it was my turn to carry the burden.
So much would change now. I'd have to leave behind everything I knew—my mother, Jace, and Luke.
I would miss him most of all, Luke that is. I wanted to protect him for longer, but I knew I could not. My time at the Dragonstone was running short and Luke was growing up, as well as I. Now a role had to be play, and there was no turning back. The dragon's blood that ran through my veins demanded it. The salt of the sea that ran through my veins, demanded it as well, perhaps with even greater ferocity. The path ahead was carved in stone, and I would soon learn what it truly meant to carry the weight of my family's legacy.
⊹ ࣪ ˖
When my mother, Rhaenyra, entered the room, I was already dressed, combing my hair with deliberate strokes, over and over, as if each pass could erase the anxiety growing within me since the morning. My knife was hidden in the folds of my dress as always, its weight giving me strength. Sometimes I gripped the handle for a brief comfort, a silent reminder that not all power lay in dragons and thrones—sometimes it was just a sharp edge and a quick hand.
"The maester sent the ravens. We await the responses," my mother said, stepping closer to me. The reflection in the mirror caught us both—her regal bearing, the fine lines of her body, and my own younger visage, tense. She smiled at me, a soft expression that reassured me, even if it was for a brief second. "You have the most beautiful hair I have ever seen," she added, gently touching the waves cascading over my shoulders. "They remind me of your father.”
My father, Laenor Velaryon; the only son of Lord Corlys Velaryon and Princess Rhaenys Targaryen. Heir to Driftmark, who died so suddenly, his death casting a long shadow over House Velaryon. The mention of his name brought a sharp pang of grief. I didn't understand why, but every time my mother spoke about him, there was a flicker of anger beneath my sorrow, a heat I masked with a tight smile.
However my mother was right. I had inherited my father's hair—thick, white as freshly fallen snow—but I chose to wear it loose and flowing, while his had been twisted into dreadlocks, the mark of a seafarer. It might sound shallow, but I always felt a surge of pride when I thought of our shared hair, a bond to the legacy he left behind. In the sunlight, my hair shimmered like polished silver, cascading in long, graceful curls. It was my most prized possession, a connection to my father's spirit and the salt-washed halls of Driftmark. My height and lean frame were also part of his legacy as well as the fact that we both liked boys. However, while my romantic inclinations were celebrated, his were met with whispers and hushed disapproval.
From my mother however, I inherited the rest: the lilac eyes, that hinted at the dragons in my lineage, the golden hue of my skin that spoke of distant suns and warm sands and the sharp bone structure, high cheeks, strong jaw.
In the mirror's reflection, I saw both sides of my heritage: the dragon's fire and the seafarer's freedom. I was a daughter of Rhaenyra and Laenor, heir to two powerful houses that ruled over Westeros, yet I felt utterly powerless. Despite my roots, despite the blood of both dragonlords and seafarers, the world I was born into demanded everything while offering little in return. I was a princess by birthright, yet the weight of that title felt more like a shackle that already started to grow into my body.
"How did you manage it?" I asked my mother, my voice barely above a whisper. My eyes locked onto hers in the mirror reflection, searching for a hint of…something.
"Well, your father was a wonderful man," she replied after a moment, choosing her words with the kind of careful diplomacy she'd learned during years spend at court "Kind and good, I only wish you had the same."
It was true—Laenor had been a decent man, a rarity among the royals. He treated us with respect, he knew love and he knew kindness. But I knew Aemond wasn't likely to follow that path of gentleness. He just wasn’t born this way.
or perhaps, we made him this way
"Easy for you to say," I replied, a hint of bitterness creeping into my tone. "If I had to marry someone even slightly like Father, I wouldn't be as afraid.”
My mother sighed, her gaze softening as she placed a hand on my shoulder. "Aemond may not be perfect, but he's not a monster," she said, her voice steady and reassuring. "He's skilled in battle, and I've heard he spends a great deal of time in his chambers reading. You have that in common. And, remember, he's just a man—you can persuade him. And if things ever get too difficult, your grandsire Viserys will always be there to help, even if I'm not close by. You have more allies than you think, my dear Vaella.”
I nodded reluctantly, my mother's words falling short of understanding. How could I seek solace from my grandsire when my greatest concern was Aemond's deep-seated hatred for me? Could I even sway my future husband to my will? Did I truly want to? The boy had harboured a simmering hatred for me since we were children—ever since the accident with his eye. His loathing wasn't just a passing grudge; it was deep-seated, like a smouldering ember waiting to ignite. The way he looked at me, like I was the source of all his misfortune, made my skin crawl. We didn’t see each others for years now, but I doubted something would change about his attitude. He could be as solid as a rock, never forgetting and at the end of the day, some part of me can’t even blame him.
Aemond wasn't a monster, at least not in the traditional sense, but his malice was palpable. His tongue, sharp and vicious, cut down anyone who stood in his way. And his loyalty, if he had any, was as uncertain as the shifting winds. I was expected to make a life with him, to find some common ground, but the truth was, I'd be walking a narrow path with an adversary who despised me.
It wasn’t fear of physical violence that troubled me—Aemond was too cunning for that, or so I thought. No, it was the venom in his words, the quiet contempt in his gaze, that made me wary. He had a way of turning the simplest interaction into a battle of wits, and I knew that he wouldn't hesitate to use our marriage as a weapon if it suited him. That's why my mother's assurances fell flat, and that’s why I felt so alone at that moment.
“I know, mother,” I responded, my voice steady despite the uncertainty raging within me. I touched my knife once more through the fabric of my dress.
Of course, we could always communicate through ravens; messages could be sent at a moment's notice. I could write with my bothers too. But something in my mother's eyes told me that even the swiftest crow couldn't always bring the answers we needed and not every word would be safe to write. I was to live in the King’s Landing after all. What’s more, there was an undercurrent of tension in our family, a creeping unease that made my skin prickle. I knew I had to be ready for whatever came next and something was coming, raging below the surface; for now.
I knew I'd need to watch everything—every look, every whisper, every seemingly innocent gesture. The times were growing darker, and the Targaryens were no strangers to family strife. I'd need to navigate this new reality with care, with vigilance, and most importantly, with an iron resolve.
If my time at King's Landing was going to be nothing but a sad and long duty, if my marriage was going to be a torment, I was determined to make it count for something. If I was to be a pawn in the game of thrones, then I would be a pawn with a purpose—an ally to my mother, a vigilant eye in the heart of the capital. That was the least I could do.
I had the blood of dragons in my veins and the salt of House Velaryon. To own my heritage meant embracing its legacy, with all its glories and tragedies. It wasn't just about surviving the inevitable treachery and deceit; it was about carving my own path, even if it was strewn with peril.
King's Landing was a viper's nest. But I was ready to play the game, to at least take my part in it. There would be whispers and watchful eyes, betrayals and broken promises, but I knew that if I stayed true to my lineage, I could turn threats into opportunities. It was time to claim my place, to find a meaning. To try.
But first, I had to marry Prince Aemond Targaryen.
⊹ ࣪ ˖
King's Landing, true to its nature, greeted us with its awful, but familiar stench—a noxious blend of unwashed bodies, decaying meat, and urine that lingered in the air. Jace, Baela and Daemon arrived on dragons, their majestic beasts cutting through the sky with breathtaking ease, almost gliding straight to the imposing walls of the Red Keep. Yet, I had no dragon to call my own. The egg that had cradled me in my infancy never hatched. However, over the years it transformed into a stone, a beautiful stone, but nonetheless a stone. Aemond’s egg didn’t hatch either, we had that one in common. Until he mastered Vhagar of course.
I remember this one time when we were all in the Dragonpit. Our little group of young princes and princesses forced to spend time together. The boys, cruel as only boys around this age can be, presented Aemond with a pig with wings attached to it.
“Look, it’s your dragon!” They jeered, their laughter reverberating through the cavernous space. I didn't join in their laughter though; the most I managed was a faint smile. It wasn’t that I was sorry for Aemond, but sorry for myself. I stood there frozen, my heart pounding with apprehension, fearing they would target me next, that there was a pig awaiting for me too, as I was lacking dragon just as well as Aemond did. Yet, the taunts like this never appeared.
I was spared the humiliation of a pig, thanks perhaps to the protective presence of my brothers, their unspoken loyalty serving as a shield against ridicule. Aemond wasn't as fortunate, growing up in the shadow of Aegon and his sister Helaena, while lovely, preferred the company of worms over that of other children. But my brothers were different. We were different. We were close, really close despite the whispers that spread through the castle like a black death. Whispers about their brown hair and Lord Commander of the City Watch. Or maybe we were close because of them.
Amidst the chaotic bustle of the streets, voices rose in a discordant symphony. Merchants clamoured to hawk their wares, beggars pleaded for alms, and the laughter of children echoed through the crowded thoroughfares. The city's myriad scents intermingled in the oppressive heat, wafting through the air in a dizzying array of aromas. Amidst the cacophony, the occasional cry of “Targaryen!" would appear.
Beads of sweat formed on my brow, their cool trails tracing paths down the sides of my temples. With a soft sigh that seemed to melt into the stifling air, I reached for the ornate fan, a futile attempt to save myself from the oppressive heat that enveloped us all. Yet, even as I fanned myself, seeking solace from the stuffy atmosphere, it was the weight of uncertainty that truly burdened me, hanging heavy in the humid air.
Joffrey, my youngest brother, fidgeted restlessly on the lap of his wet nurse, his chubby fingers grasping at the fabric of her dress as he squirmed in discomfort. Luke was pressed against my back, his presence both comforting and stifling in the suffocating heat. Despite the warmth, I couldn't bring myself to push him away. Absently, I ran my fingers through his curls. His hair bounced with each gentle caress.
My mother, Rhaenyra, accompanied me to the Red Keep that day as well. Seated before me, her regal bearing softened by the weight of her own concerns. She seemed lost in her own thoughts. It must have been hard for her too going back to the King’s Landing, though because of other reasons. Reasons I couldn’t fully grasp back then. The lines of worry etched upon her face. As our carriage trundled along the winding streets of city, the imposing walls of the Red Keep loomed ever closer and closer. My mother's hand found mine in a reassuring squeeze. And then, in the blink of an eye, everything unfolded rapidly.
The carriage doors were flung open, and we were officially announced. My mother departed first, I went after her. My steps were heavy with apprehension, my chest hollow with uncertainty. My mind empty and full of thoughts at the same time.
As I struggled to find my bearings, my gaze fell upon my grandsire Viserys, his aged frame leaning heavily on a cane, yet his eyes alight with genuine happiness as he embraced my mother with tenderness. Beside him stood Alicent, her smile beautiful, but revealing nothing of her thoughts. Her chestnut hair cascading in elegant waves over her shoulders. She was wearing a gown of verdant green and looked like a queen should look like; beautiful, untouchable and regal.
The procession was completed by Helaena, Aegon, and…Aemond.
Aemond.
He had changed over the years, that much was evident, but his face; I would always recognise it. It bore mark of a past injury, a stark contrast against his otherwise chiseled features. A sleek eye-patch adorned his visage, a constant reminder of what was. His bone structure was sharp, more reminiscent of a dragon's than a human. Raw and primal, but still; I couldn’t look away. His long, straight hair cascaded like molten silver, a striking contrast to the darkness that enveloped him. He exuded an aura of danger, a predator disguised in the guise of a man, his hands clasped behind his back.
As his gaze locked with mine, I felt a shiver, his eye piercing through the facade I crafted, leaving me feeling uncomfortably exposed. I didn’t like the vulnerability of it, but I guess he did as his lips curled into a smirk, a gesture that sent a wave of unease coursing through me.
"Uncle," I managed to utter, my voice betraying a hint of weakness as I struggled to maintain my composure in the face of his imposing presence.
"Princess Vaella," he replied, his voice smooth as silk as he reached out to kiss my hand, his eye never wavering from my own. His courtesy was almost disarming. With a flicker of hesitation, I tore my gaze from his, seeking refuge in the safety of elsewhere. And I found it in Aegon of all people.
Aegon was shorter and chubbier than his younger brother, his hair a tousled mess atop his head. “You look stunning today, Vaella!” Aegon blurted out and then leaned in closer. I could feel alcohol from his mouth. "I hear Aemond's been training with Vhagar a lot lately," Aegon mentioned offhandedly. "You'll have to get used to the smell of dragon dung, Vaella. It's not the most pleasant thing.”
"Perhaps, dear brother, if Vaella spends too much time in your close presence, she might succumb to alcohol poisoning before she ever gets the chance to smell dragon dung," Aemond quipped with a wry smile. "If you're truly concerned about her olfactory experience, Aegon, perhaps I should take her for a stroll in the gardens," Aemond suggested, his voice carrying a subtle undertone of invitation as he extended his arm towards me.
"Shall we, Princess Vaella?" Aemond's voice was as smooth as silk. A small, relieved laugh escaped my lips as I accepted his offer, slipping my arm through his. Together, we departed, leaving Aegon standing there with his mouth agape.
The gardens were as beautiful as always, but today they seemed to possess a quality that I hadn't fully appreciated before. Maybe it comes with a certain age. The vibrant blooms, of various colours, swayed gently in the breeze that carried the salty tang of the sea. Despite the relentless heat, the open air was a welcome reprieve from the stifling confines of the carriage. However, a sense of guardedness lingered within me. Aemond appeared calm and composed, though there was a hint of stiffness in his posture, an almost imperceptible tension.
Before our meeting I worried about the conversation—what would we talk about? Would the silence between us stretch into an awkward void? We hadn't spoken in so long, and our last encounter had been not the most pleasant one. Yet, as we made our way to the gardens, conversation flowed rather effortlessly between us.
“Do forgive me for my brother. He hadn’t change back since you last saw him.”
"No need to apologise. Aegon has always had a talent for…making memorable first impressions.” I replied, desperately wanting to sound casual and it paid off; Aemond smiled though it wasn’t even that good. I stole a quick glance at him, I looked at his eye-patch and something stirred within me. The Aemond standing beside me now was not the boy I remembered. He had grown into his own.
"Not everyone changes," Aemond mused, his gaze fixed on the distant horizon.
"So, you have?" I inquired, a small smile tugging at my lips.
"I'd like to think so," he replied after a moment of thought.
"I think you have. You seem different.”
"You've changed too, grown," he remarked.
“Grown?" I prodded gently, hoping for more.
"I'm certain every man in the kingdom, from peasant to the wealthiest, would vie for your favour," he declared.
"And do you?"
"I do. You're beautiful," he confessed, his words echoing those I had heard too often before. Is it the only thing they see in a woman?
"You flatter me, uncle.”
"I merely speak the truth," he assured me.
As silence settled between us, the distant calls of seagulls and the rustle of bushes filled the air. I allowed myself to gaze upon the sea for a moment, its blue expanse calling something deep inside me.
“Do you miss it?” Aemond inquired, his eyes following mine as they rested on the azure expanse.
“Hm?” I asked, lost in thoughts.
“The sea,” he clarified, his voice softer. My heart skipped a beat at those words. I knew what they meant.
“You know I do.”
He smiled somewhat sadly. "I wish you could go there more often. I would take you if you wanted,” he offered, little perplexed.
“Truly?” I asked, my voice betraying a childlike hopefulness that I didn’t like.
“Everything for my lady wife,” he declared.
Then just as we both got comfortable enough, I came back to something that I shouldn’t have; the past.
“You know, I still can't get over what happened that night," I said, my voice trembling with the emotions.
Aemond stiffened in a split of a second, his body tensing as if preparing for a blow. “Don’t," he declared firmly, his tone leaving little room for argument.
"But—" I began, my voice pleading.
"Vaella, I mean it," he interrupted, his voice sharp. His single eye bore into mine, a tempest of emotions swirling within its depths. "There are things best left in the past.”
I swallowed hard, the weight of his words pressing down on me. "I just want you to know that not a day has passed without me thinking about it. I know words don't mean much, but I'm truly sorry.” I said, but it didn’t feel good. I felt stupid.
For a moment, we stood in silence, the tension between us palpable. The memories of that night hung heavily in the air, a barrier neither of us seemed able to cross. I could see the conflict in his face, the struggle to maintain his composure. He clenched his jaws and I could feel his body getting tense.
“You must be tired from the journey,” he finally said, his voice softer but still tinged with an underlying tension. “Let’s head back.”
︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵
you can find more of my works about aemond ♡here♡
#prince aemond targaryen#aemond one eye#aemond x oc#aemond fanfiction#prince aemond#aemond#aemond targaryen#hotd aemond#aemond x fem!reader#toxic relationship#aemond angst#hotd fanfic#house of the dragon aemond#house of the dragon#hotd imagine#aemond imagine#hotd oc
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It’s been a hot minute since I read book to circus (and frankly I never had the chance to watch the anime) but watching an edit made me remember how fucking tragic it is for Ciel specifically. Because if I recall right this is the first time he actively kills someone he was close to. Like, he played a hand in his aunts demise by uncovering her murders but ultimately that was Grelle’s doing. Curry arc was mostly fun with only Lau and Ran Mao doling out punishment. Ciel may have declared he would doom himself for revenge but this is the first time he ordered a kill on people he knew were not fully bad. Who were maybe even similar to him in that they were dying horrible slow deaths before but then they were saved by something deeply evil. Who were maybe even a bit like a family to him, even if just for a short while.
I can’t say how the anime framed this (I merely got screenshots because I couldn’t find manga caps), but to me this scene is vile. I’ve seen it interpreted in a sebaciel/sexual way before and obviously that’s rubbish but there is a sense of perversion here, though not sexual. Sebastian is taking advantage of a child‘s anxiety attack to push him to cross a threshold he will forever be branded by and internalize. Remember how in Book of Atlantic he says he wants to fill Ciel‘s soul with trauma so it‘s more delicious? That’s what he is doing right now. This is him taking advantage of any of Ciel‘s weaknesses and using that to make him worse. He is fucking seasoning the poor child!! Sebastian also expressed admiration for Ciel‘s goal to proudly walk into doom and here the demon is making sure Ciel’s will forever do that, because this will heavily contribute to Ciel cutting himself off emotionally. It’s a reminder that for his revenge everyone is but pawns and he can’t show mercy. Especially not after this. Not to mention it isolates him further from any kind of support system.
When Ciel then goes out of his way to also kill his closest friend, freckles/doll, that is not just making sure there are no stray ends to this case. It’s a testament to how much this has „corrupted“ and numbed him.
(again couldn‘t get proper manga caps from google images so these have markings on them)
The fact that we only see the eye with sebastian‘s pact mark here is such good symbolism. This is the result of sebastian‘s manipulation. Ciel‘s soul was already doomed by the pact but this was the point where Ciel as a person crossed a threshold to certain doom. And he knows that (although i‘m not sure he could admit Sebastian‘s hand in this to himself).
In the emerald witch arc both joker and doll are there among his family, being a vehicle to questioning why he made the pact. Ciel eventually comes to the realization that he made a pact for himself. And by that logic, Ciel probably believes, that everything else is a natural consequence to that. Something he had to overcome/do for himself. He needs to tell himself that or else he would fall apart. But Sebastian very much manipulated him into if BoC and the fact that Ciel fully becomes himself after passing Doll just confirms how much that experience changed him and was the final nail in the coffin of who he is now. And who he is now is doomed. Because of Sebastian (I cannot stress this enough).
#kuroshitsuji#black butler#black butler analysis#black butler ciel#ciel phantomhive#our ciel#black butler sebastian#sebastian michaelis
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beginning of how to ball and aristotle
first chapter of my new series you know how to ball, i know aristotle which is hockey player!cassian and book girly!reader
this is general headcanons and how their love story began <3
-At first, you were a puck bunny.
-And you had zero shame. Hockey players knew how to fuck. And you needed to blow off some steam. You also weren’t a fan of relationships in the slightest.
-You were Cassian’s most trusted hook up, he didn’t show an interest in anyone really until you. To be honest, he was the only one you hooked up with. It felt weird to fuck his teammates too.
-When you realized you were in love with him, you panicked quite a bit. You didn’t fall in love with people. You refused.
-You freaked out enough that you just stopped answering his calls. His texts. He showed up at the house you shared with Feyre, Nesta, Elain, Morrigan, Amren, Viviene, Nuala and Cerridwen. The girls had to keep covering for you.
-Eventually, Rhys and Feyre both confronted you. Rhys had said, “Y/N, he’s so miserable. His team keeps losing because he’s thinking about you constantly. Just hear him out.”
-You knew you were being shitty so you apologized to Rhys for putting him in that position, but then you went to go to Cassian at the apartment he shared with Azriel and Rhys.
-You kind of wanted to die but, you’d do it for him.
-When you knocked, Cassian answered.
-He looked like shit, but he got so happy when he saw you.
“I’m so sorry.” Was what you started with.
“Wanna come in?” He angled the door more open.
You nodded, barely being able to keep your tears at bay.
Once the door shut, you let the first tear fall down.
“Nobody else is home.” Was all Cassian said. “It’s safe to cry now, unless….you don’t want me to see. I can walk away.”
That made you start crying harder.
“I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry.” You hiccuped, “I was so scared and I just, I didn’t know what to do.”
“Could’ve talked to me.”
“I know.” You wiped your cheeks. “But, I was a coward and I ran. Because that’s what I do. Whenever someone shows genuine interest in me, I run because I can predict love stories in books, and I know whatever happens with them, I can still walk away and things won’t affect me.”
You took the tissues he was offering you, “and I’m not used to people actually liking me, like that-”
“Love.”
“What?” You sniffed.
“I love you. I want you to know I’m all in.” He shrugged, as if this conversation was easy. As if it was easy confessing your love to someone.
“You shouldn’t.”
“And why is that?”
“If this past week is anything to go by.” You gestured to the air. “I wouldn’t want to be with me either.”
“I’m willing to work on communication skills. Are you?” He asked, stepping even closer to you.
“You still wanna give me a shot?”
“Would you let me?”
You nodded, more tears falling down. He smiled, “can I hug you? I’m dying here.”
You nodded again, your voice failing you and just letting out a cry. He quickly took you into his arms. God, you missed this. His strong arms wrapping around you, his scent enveloping you.
“I’m sorry.” You whimpered. “I’m going to love you so hard. I’ll communicate everything.”
He let out his own soft chuckle, but you heard the tears in his voice. You two pulled away and rested your foreheads together. “I know it’ll be hard. All I ask is that you work with me.” His own tears fell down.
You nodded, some more tears falling down your face, you wiped his away with your sleeve as gently as possible.
“I still hate it when you cry.” He said, wiping your tears away.
You sniffed, it sounded very gross and snotty. But he still looked at you like you were the most beautiful girl in the world.
-After that, and a lot of talking, you two began officially going out.
-You had sent a text to your shared group chat and that was the announcement. Just to let folks know.
“Hey we worked shit out. We’re together. Don't be weird about it.” Was what you sent.
Meanwhile, Cassian sent a reaction image of someone giggling and kicking their feet.
You heart reacted each others messages.
Rhys responded with, “screenshotting this and displaying it at your wedding.”
Azriel: “she said don’t be weird.”
Feyre: “cuties!! also dw about rhys, he’s a lover of love”
Rhys: “easy to be when you’re my love, Feyre darling. 😘”
Nesta: “🤮. Im too ace for this shit. Congrats y/n and cass. Die rhys.”
After laugh-reacting Nesta’s message, you both turned your phones on mute. Rhys and Nesta loved each other, they just had weird ass ways of showing it.
-Anyway back to the headcanons.
-This man went feral seeing you in his jersey.
-Like after the game, fucked you in the car, with the jersey on.
-His good luck charm is one of your hair ties on his wrist. If he doesn't have it, it’s a bad game. It’s to the point where the coach will contact you if Cassian doesn’t have a hair tie on his wrist.
-He bench-presses you, he says he wants to keep up his strength so he can always pick you up and toss you around
To which you responded with, “you calling me fat?”
He smirked, “I like a woman with thighs babe.”
The audacity of this man.
-He got a penalty for launching at an opposing team member who was making a derogatory comment about your figure.
(Cassian did indeed fuck you so hard you couldn’t walk the next day after that).
-You accidentally became a meme when you went to his practice and just read in the bleachers for the entirety of it.
-But you never missed a game. If it was a home game you were in the audience, if it was an away game you’d text him all your thoughts and watch it live.
-He always went book shopping with you. He even had his own favorite bookstores to go with you too. He wasn’t much of a reader, but you got him on some audiobooks. He did enjoy history so he liked listening to those.
-He’d carry your books around for you, pick out ones he’d like you like. He offers commentary. He loves opening smutty books and reading random passages. Sometimes you’d buy them off of that alone.
-He would always take time off to attend book signings or festivals with you. He loved seeing how excited you got and nervous in the presence of your favorite author.
-You two adored each other with your whole hearts, and one day, Rhys did get to showcase that text screenshot to the guests at your wedding during his best man speech.
#acotar#acofas#acomaf#acowar#acotar x reader#cassian x reader#cassian imagine#cassian acotar#cassian
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Sebastian x reader
Slightly based off these headcanons
Ever since you moved to Pelican Town, you became friends with several of the townspeople, including Sebastian. While he was not overly nice to you at first, he did slowly become friends with you, since you took the time out of your busy day to spend time with him and occasionally brought him little gifts, some of these gifts he liked more than others, which you had picked up on, and brought him other gifts that you knew he would like.
Over the time you had spent with him, he had slowly gained feelings for you. However, the problem was that you were already in a relationship, and it was to the point that you were ready to propose to him/her, which did hurt Sebastian since he did love you, but he didn’t want to ruin your relationship, or your friendship with him, just because of his own feelings.
What Sebastian wasn’t expecting was to find you at the door, crying and heartbroken. He was just getting ready for the day as per usual, slipping his usual purple hoodie over his head, when he heard a knock at the door. He didn’t pay much attention to it since he figured Robin would have answered it. However, the knock was heard again. Getting a little annoyed, he walked up the stairs from his room and went to the door to find you standing there. He looked surprised at first, then worried as he noticed the tears running down your face.
“Y/n?” He had brought you into the house, closing the door once you were inside. He brought you to his room and had you sit on the bed, now sitting beside you.
“Do you… want to tell me what happened?” He asked, wrapping an arm around your shoulders, pulling you a bit closer to him. You were quiet for a few moments aside from a few sniffles here and there as tears welled up in your eyes.
“You know how I’ve been preparing to propose to (bachelor/bachelorette of choice or other name)?”
“Yeah, I remember. You were so excited, yet nervous, as you kept asking me, Sam and Abigail our opinions on certain ideas you had.” Sebastian remembered it all too well. How his heart sank as you mentioned wanting to propose to your partner, how happy you looked…
“Well…” your voice brought him back from his thoughts.
“Well..?”
“I went through with it. I proposed to him/her, and.. I.. was turned down. To the point they don’t want to be together anymore.”
“What?” Sebastian was in disbelief about this as his grip on you tightened without realizing it. He had pulled you into a hug, holding you close to him.
“…I’m sorry, Y/n. You don’t deserve that, you really don’t. You deserve to be happy.” He mumbled, just loud enough for you to hear him.
“…thank you, Sebastian.” You mumbled back as he gently wiped your tears away. Sebastian may not be the best when it comes to comforting others, but he would do his best for you, which helped you feel better.
It’s been a couple months since then, and Sebastian’s feelings for you only grew stronger. You were back to being your usual self, slowly getting over your heart getting broken, but now you’ve been spending a lot more time with Sebastian, whether it’s playing games in his room, walking around town, or just sitting with him as he worked on his motorcycle.
Ever since that day, you’ve spent more time with him, and you’ve started gaining feelings for him, which… you didn’t think you would happen so quickly. Maybe it was because of the way he had treated you? How you could go to him whenever you were feeling down or upset and needed someone to talk to despite the fact he’s not good with comforting others, but he did his best for you.
Whatever it was, you knew that you had feelings for him, and you knew you would end up having to tell him eventually, or Sam and Abigail would, as they figured out fairly quickly about your feelings for their friend.
You were brought back from your thoughts as you heard a knock at the door. You went to the door and saw Sebastian standing there. You weren’t expecting him to come over to your house, since you don’t see him go out very often.
“Hey.” He spoke up once you opened the door. You smiled softly and let him inside, closing the door behind him.
“Hey. What’s up?” You asked him, looking back at him.
“Ah, not much. I just… wanted to see if you were busy.”
“No, not really. I was actually about to head out and look for you.”
“Really?”
“Yeah. There’s… something I wanted to tell you, Sebastian.”
“What is it?”
“I just wanted to say… thank you for being here for me, and that I appreciate you and your company. I enjoy spending time with you.”
“Thanks, Y/n. I like spending time with you too.”
“And there’s one other thing I want to say.” Sebastian gives you a look of “go on,” you had to take a moment to get your thoughts together before you spoke,
“Sebastian… over these past few months, I’ve been gaining feelings for you, and I didn’t think it would happen this quickly, since… that day.”
“Y/n…” Sebastian sounded a little surprised by this. “Heh.. you actually beat me to it.” You were a little confused by this, but before you could say anything, he spoke up again,
“I was actually going to confess to you this evening. I had it planned out and everything.”
“Wait really?”
“Yeah. I wanted to take you to my favorite place outside of town and confess to you.”
“Oh, Sebastian.” You smiled faintly and went over to him, hugging him. He hugged you back, pressing a light kiss to your forehead.
“…I love you, Y/n.”
“I love you too, Sebastian.” You let him go from the hug. “If you want to still go out tonight, we can.”
“I would like that.”
“Well, let’s go then!” You grabbed his hand and practically dragged him outside, making him chuckle a bit as he followed after you.
#stardew valley#sdv#sfw#sebastian#stardew valley sebastian#sdv sebastian#sebastian/reader#sebastian x reader#sdv sebastian/reader#sdv sebastian x reader#x reader#reader insert#fluff#fluff oneshot#x reader oneshot#oneshot#stardew valley x reader#sdv x reader
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hi, so idk if u still write for canucks nils hoglander, so if you don't im so sorry for bothering you. if you do, would you be able to write an imagine where nils is interested in one of the canucks employees, like social media or reporter and is trying to ask her out but fails multiple times before eventually with some help asking her out?
You're A Forbidden Delicacy, And I Won't Leave A Crumb
Hey y’all! And hello to the lovely requester! I still do write for Nils, so thank you for the request (which I really love and got carried away with). I really apologize to everyone for how long this has taken me, my life has been all over the place and I am still trying to get things sorted out, but I truly, from the bottom of my heart appreciate the patience you all have. This is a Nils Höglander fic, with a F!Reporter!Reader, which is a little longer than what my stories are normally. I hope you all enjoy this fic, and please remember to take care of yourself!
Word Count: 6.1k
Pairing: Nils Höglander x F!Reader
Warnings: Romantic tension, kissing? (Let me know if I need to add anything)
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A knock was heard on the door to her office, where she was deep in her work preparing for tonight’s game, followed by the familiar voice of her colleague and friend.
“Hey lovely! Here are the spreadsheets and rundown of the stats from the last three games,” her friend said, setting a few papers on her desk.
She smiled back and felt a wave of relief. “Thank you,” she sighed. “I was wondering when the stats would come in from my favorite data analyst.”
“Oh, stop,” she chuckled. “You know how playoffs are.”
She nodded in agreement, noticing that the energy within the air, and more specifically, the arena, was more electrifying than ever.
Looking up from the documents, she saw one of the players walk by the door, giving her a smile and a friendly wave before walking off. She knew him, Nils Höglander, but she had only had small-talk and nothing more.
Her friend looked over her shoulder, a knowing smile appearing on her face. “Someone caught your eye?”
The blush on her face seemed to intensify, almost shamefully like a kid caught with candy. “No—” Taking a quick sip of her water, she hoped that the warmth on her face eased up.
“Alright, take it easy, go Canucks!” she cheered as she walked out of the office.
A smile made its way to her face as she turned back to her work. “Go Canucks!”
An hour or two passed by as she worked on reading the documents, preparing how she was going to announce the pregame reports, and making sure everything was finalized and set.
It was a fun, fast-paced job that kept her on her toes constantly, and she thrived in it, living in the rush and wanting more of the adrenaline. More rowdiness from the fans, more chants and cheers, and more passion from the city that was hungry for a cup.
“Hello?”
She drew her attention away from her laptop and towards her door, where she saw Quinn standing there, gear still on from the morning skate and practice.
“Hi Quinn, how can I help you?”
He scanned her desk, seemingly searching for something before his eyes landed on her coffee.
“What’s your go-to Tim’s order?” he asked.
She looked at him quizzically, wondering why he asked such a question out of the blue, but didn’t think too much about it. “Vanilla latte, why?”
“Nothin’” he shrugged, clearly more than nothing. “Have a nice day.” He walked away with a sly smile, making her more confused than nothing.
“You…too, Quinn,” she said, looking at her coffee with suspicion.
As she took a sip, it tasted the same still, maybe a little more room temperature, but nothing odd or wrong.
A few more hours passed, and before she knew it, the clock was counting down till puck drop. The arena already felt alive, the familiar blue and green decor that hung around her office reminding her.
She got up from her desk, making her way out of her office as her shoes tapped on the floor, echoing down the hall. Having all the important information and stats in her mind, she felt confident about how tonight’s game will go.
When she made it near the rink, she was greeted by a few other of her co-workers, as well as the media crew for the team, gear and equipment and smiles all set. The ice in the rink looked fresh and crisp, ready for a tough game.
“Ready for Game Six?” One of her co-workers asked.
She smiled and straightened up her posture, pride swelling within her. “Born ready. Go ‘Nucks.”
As the camera went live, everything else came naturally to her. The confidence, the excitement, and the adrenaline.
“Welcome back to Bridgestone Arena everyone, where tonight, the Canucks will face off again against the Nashville Predators in Game Six of the Stanley Cup Playoffs, hoping to eliminate the Predators, and advance to the second round.”
The arena started to fill up with fans, mainly fans of the Predators, but there were a few Canucks jerseys spread throughout.
Skaters headed out onto the ice, preparing to warm up as the arena cheered for each side, hoping that their team would win tonight’s game.
Adrenaline. Euphoria. Pride. So many emotions swelling inside of her, and she felt so alive and yet lost in a dream.
“As the Canucks hope to grab a win, the spotlight stands on the top players, with Boeser having four goals in this post-season, all within the past three games, and J.T. Miller with six points, pushing the Canucks forward in the playoffs,”
The statistics sounded impressive, and even on paper they looked unbelievable, but it was the Canucks, and she saw the potential long ago as they were developing.
One player especially caught her eye, but she would never admit to who, because it was mainly extremely unprofessional of her, and also because of the complications it could bring up.
And as if the devil cursed her thoughts, she met his eyes as the media crew was moved behind the bench, sharing a smile as he went and got a quick sip of his water before skating back out onto the ice.
“Hoping Höglander scores huh?”
She turned her head quickly to the voice her friend before turning away, hoping she didn’t see the blush that was dusted on her cheeks.
“Best hope is that every Canuck scores one,” she laughed, trying to push the topic somewhere else.
Her friend let out an exasperated sigh, “Oh gosh, and I’d be the one needing to calculate all the stats,”
As the warmups came to an end, a few of the players returned to the bench, Nils being one of them, and he gave her a quick smile and wave before refocusing on the game that his teammates were playing.
With quick plays and quick movements, the puck moved up and down the ice, from offense to defense, keeping everyone in the arena on their toes.
Fans roared with each close call, the atmosphere buzzing, static in the air, and before she knew it, the first intermission was starting.
The players poured into the tunnel, making their way back to the locker room after no goals from either team in the first period. Tensions still felt high, like a cord that could snap at any moment.
She waited out on the bench, fiddling with a pen and her notepad as her manager was trying to find one of the players to interview for a brief moment, hoping to get a word or two about the current game.
After a few minutes, she saw Brock walking out with her manager, a gentle expression on his face as usual.
The interview went smoothly as the rest of the night did, with one goal from the Canucks that led to a win as they advanced to the next round of the playoffs.
In the locker room afterwards, the locker room was rowdy, players and coaches celebrating their win with as much energy as they could. It set the stage for greatness, hope lingering in the air for a long playoff run.
Across the locker room from the doorway she stood under, her eyes met Nils, looking slightly disheveled, a mess even, but he still looked so, fulfilling. He smiled when he noticed her gaze, his eyes crinkling up.
And as the night eased in, the sky outside a crisp darkness, she walked to her car in the parking lot, her work bag slung over her shoulder as she was ready to go home, exhausted, but at ease.
A gentle smile was plastered on her face, gratitude for every little thing she worked so hard for to end up in the career field she was in, all the work paying off.
As she reached for the car door, she saw a figure walking towards her, at a rather quick pace, and she rushed to try and unlock the car.
The footsteps came closer, near stomping against the ground, and she felt panic.
“Hey! Wait, I need to talk to you!”
Turning her head quickly, her unease didn’t seem to dissipate despite the slightly familiar voice.
She unlocked her door frantically, got inside and locked it immediately, trying to recompose herself, still clutching her bag against her.
The man tapped on the window, causing her to lose the color in her face for a quick moment before realizing that it was Nils.
Letting out a breath, relief filled her, but she quickly started to scold him. “Nils, what the hell!”
“Sorry, sorry, I wanted to ask you a question,” he said sheepishly, voice muffled by the fact that he was outside.
She rolled down the window, a tight lipped smile on her face. “Yes?” Noticing how he seemed to fidget awkwardly, her expression slowly changed to concern. “Is everything alright?”
“Yeah, yeah,” he responded. “I was just wondering if you wanted to grab dinner with me sometime, I’d like to get to know you more,”
His face was a pinkish tint, illuminated by the interior light of her car. A warm blush started to envelope her face at his question, but she knew it felt wrong.
“Nils, I’m sorry but as much as I would like that, it would be unprofessional for the both of us, and we could lose our job.” Her tone remained professional, but there was a twinge of somberness within it.
A disappointed, but understanding smile appeared on his face. “I get it.” He was still sweet as ever, and she even felt a little guilty at her answer. “I’ll see you tomorrow, okay?”
“Alright, have a good night Nils, you did great tonight,” she smiled.
Smiling back, he gave her a nod of appreciation. “You did as well. Have a good night,”
He walked away from her car, looking back only once to notice that she kept her eyes on him, but pulled away when he saw.
She drove away, off into the night where the traffic died down, and where the Vancouver glow was as dreamy as it always was to her, an ageless magic.
Morning came, sunrise bright and early as she arrived back at the arena. There was no game planned for the day, only practice and training to prepare for the next game.
As she walked down the hall to her office, she noticed that her door was open, despite having locked it the night before. The only people who were also in the arena as early as her were the players, coaches, and athletic trainers.
Stepping into her office, she saw a cup of coffee placed on her desk, along with a sticky note beside it. It smelt familiar, and as she took a sip, she noticed that it was her order.
She read the sticky note, and it was a sweet message from Nils hoping that her day would go well, and a smile drawn at the end.
It was a sweet gesture, and she couldn’t stop herself from smiling at the note as she read it over again, somehow trying to dissect a deeper meaning.
“Oh, so you found it,” Quinn chuckled.
Startled by his sudden presence, she jumped, spilling a little bit of coffee on her sweater.
“Ow!” Yelping in slight pain, her face was hot in embarrassment. “Sorry, I’m okay,” she laughed nervously, attempting to somehow magically wipe the stain away.
“I should apologize,” he said, grabbing some tissues from her desk. “Nils is not going to be too happy with me for making you spill coffee on your clothes,”
Like clockwork, he walked by her office and saw the commotion, brow perked up in curiosity. “What about me?”
Turning her head over to look at him, she had a sheepish smile, still holding the note and coffee in her hands. “Hi, Nils.”
He noticed the stain on her clothes, and motioned to her to give him a minute as he ran off, leaving both Quinn and her confused.
Setting the tissues on the table, he muttered out an apology before running off after Nils down the hall.
Now, she was even more confused, unsure of everything that had happened. Putting everything down, she settled on just starting on her work, checking emails and the schedule for the day.
Minutes passed by, and her friend knocked on the door to her office, handing her the spreadsheets of the statistics.
“Good morning lovely, I got you your stats in case anyone was up for interviews today,” she said, still sweet as ever.
Giving her a light laugh, she shook her head. “Thanks, but no thanks. Spilled coffee on myself and I don’t think I’d like to be on camera today.” She pointed to her clothes.
“Awh, really? That’s terrible,” she sighed, sitting down in the chair in front of her desk. “If I had a spare shirt, I’d give it to you in a heartbeat.”
She put her hand over her heart, “Really? You’re always so sweet,”
Another knock came on her door, and they both looked up from her laptop and documents. Nils was standing here under the doorframe, holding a Canucks sweatshirt in his hands.
“Did I interrupt something?” His voice was barely above a whisper, careful and cautious.
She shook her head with a smile, motioning for him to come in. “Not at all,”
Her friend gave her a smirk and a knowing look. “I need to go get something from my office, see you near the rink,” she said, standing up and walking out of her office.
It was just him standing and her sitting in the office now, the hum of her speakers playing music softly, and time flowed like a river of honey.
The way he looked at her was gentle, warm, and she wanted him to keep looking at her like this forever. His slightly disheveled hair made him look even more raw, something in its purest form.
“I got you one of my sweatshirts,” he spoke softly, afraid to break the air that seemed so intoxicating. “So you don’t have to wear the one with the coffee stain.”
His eyes seemed to observe her every movement, trailing up her arm and to her face as she looked up at him.
She placed her hand on his forearm cautiously, afraid of him pulling away. “You didn’t have to Nils, I’m alright.”
Shaking his head, he wouldn’t take her words. “I insist,”
Her hand moved towards the sweatshirt hesitantly, eyes still looking at him, and stopping before actually reaching it.
“It’ll look better on you, and probably more comfortable.” His voice was quiet, his words easing from his lips.
Silently nodding, she accepted the sweatshirt from his hands as he kept his gaze on her. The air was hot and thick, like a jelly-dessert with extra sweet whipped cream dolloped on the top, a tart maraschino reminding her of the consequences if she made a mistake.
She got up from her desk, walking over to the door of her office. “I’ll go change into this, you can stay a little longer.” Twisting the doorknob, she walked out, leaving Nils still standing there in her office, leaning against the desk.
When she came back from the bathroom, his Canucks sweatshirt on her loosely, holding her stained sweater, he was still there, just as she hoped, but yet, she felt the fear of being caught creeping up on her.
“Don’t you have practice?” she asked, voice careful.
He tilted his head quizzically, almost pondering her words delicately. “You know I have more than a few minutes to spare,” he said, walking over to her. “Most of the guys don’t come into the locker room until ten anyways.”
His hand trailed to the bottom hem of her sweatshirt, fiddling with the fabric between his fingers. Looking up at her, he searched for any sign of discomfort, and she stood there, looking back at him, blushed and flustered, wanting more of him.
“Don’t be so nervous, it’s just us in here,” he whispered. “This looks a lot better on you than it does on me, keep it.”
As he let go of the sweatshirt, she found herself wanting to feel his touch on it again, but when she looked up, he was already waving good-bye as he walked out of her office.
A sigh escaped her lips, unaware of the breath that she held. She walked back to her desk, flipping through the documents as she waited for time to pass.
None of it felt real. The past few moments, or even days, were slightly different and odd. Maybe it was the rush of the playoffs, skewing everything into a different perspective, or maybe, it was something else that she was too afraid to admit.
Her phone buzzed on her desk, causing her to be pulled away from her work.
We need you near the ice right now - Fav Data Analyst
No you don’t?
Yeah you’re right, but I miss you :( - Fav Data Analyst
Okay, be down in a bit
Smiling at the messages, she felt grateful for how tight-knit the crew seemed to be, feeling like a second family.
Shortly later, she was met with the smile and wave of her friend, calling her over to the bench. A few other members of the media and training crew were also at the bench, watching the practice unfold in front of them.
“So glad you’re here, it gets a little lonely,”
She looked at her in slight confusion, “With all these people around you?” She gestured.
“They’re not you,” her friend shrugged.
Laughing at her words, she noticed that it caught the attention of Nils on the ice, his eyes almost burning into her for a brief moment.
“You’re such a flirt, unnecessary.”
Her friend raised a brow at her, observing the sweatshirt that she was wearing. “I think that the only thing unnecessary is the fact that I’m one-hundred percent sure I’ve seen that sweatshirt somewhere,”
Rose tinted her cheeks as she felt slightly embarrassed, knowing that her friend knew exactly where she got the sweatshirt from.
A few minutes passed by, and she saw that Nils was skating back to the bench to grab a drink of his water. The way he looked at her while taking a sip could only be described as desire, eyeing her up like a kid looking at pastries from outside the glass.
His scruff seemed to fit him perfectly, rough and raw, and at the same time, gentle like himself. The playoffs definitely ignited something in him, and she found herself wanting to watch it all.
Before she could realize, practice was over, and the players were skating off of the ice one by one. Grabbing her bag, she walked back up to where her office was.
It was nearing lunch time, but she wanted to tidy up her office space a bit before heading out. She put the documents that her friend gave to her in a folder, placing it inside of her bag along with her laptop.
The cup of coffee from Nils was still on her desk, finished and empty, and so she threw it in the trash, but kept the handwritten note.
As she locked the door to her office, she turned around and bumped directly into Nils, crashing into him.
“Shoot! I’m so sorry—”
“You’re okay.”
His strong hands were placed on the sides of her arms, stabilizing her. Looking at him, he was slightly flushed, a bead of sweat or two lining his brow from the practice.
“Sorry, where are you headed?” he asked, hands quickly moving off of her when he noticed what he was doing. “Just wondering, I don’t mean to be weird or anything—”
“Don’t worry about it, Nils. I’m just headed to the Chipotle nearby for a quick lunch,” she said lightly, almost caught off guard by how less bold he seemed compared to earlier.
A bright smile appeared on his face, “Oh, really? Because I was just about to head over too,” he laughed, a sweet blush dusting his face.
“Awh, that’s neat.” Her response was less than what she wanted to say, but she wanted to keep it professional.
They both walked towards the exit of the arena together, silence shared between the both of them as they were greeted by the warm weather, unfamiliar for Vancouver.
The streets were busy as usual, the rush of traffic coming and going, but it didn’t bother her since she was walking, not driving. As much as she hated traffic, she couldn’t deny the fact that it looked mesmerizing from afar at night, the glow of the headlights mimicking the city.
When she arrived at the restaurant, it was jam packed with people, not surprising for the time of day, but it was something that she wasn’t expecting.
She felt an arm nudge her side, drawing her attention towards Nils.
“I’ll pay for our food, it’s on me,”
“You don’t have to—”
He shook his head in disagreement, motioning for her to get in the queue with him, to which she followed behind him as they waited in line.
Her eyes scanned the room nervously, hoping to not see her boss or any of her co-workers at the restaurant since she was out with Nils.
If she was caught, she could potentially lose her job, which meant everything to her, but more importantly, she would have to be away from those she grew closest to. Away from Vancouver, and away from Nils.
And as if on cue, he started speaking, only loud enough for the both of them to hear. “Management won’t fire us for having a friendly lunch together, we’re okay,”
She simply nodded in response, a tight-lipped smile that still had a hint of unease to it.
After they got their orders, they decided to go back into the arena to eat rather than at the restaurant, food in hand as they walked there. It was a quiet and peaceful walk, but the weather started to turn into a cloudy gray, rain threatening to fall.
Looking up at the sky, she could tell it was only going to get worse. “Weather doesn’t look too good,” she mumbled, hoping that her papers wouldn’t get ruined.
He hummed in response, also looking up at the sky. “We should hurry,”
“Oh, really?” Her tone was sarcastic as she laughed, which in turn caused him to laugh as well.
He had a mischievous look in his eyes, and she knew that he had something in mind. “I’ll race you to the lounge in the arena,”
Before she could speak, he was already sprinting in the direction of the arena, and she followed suit, wondering how she would even catch up.
While she was running after him, she saw Elias near the front, most likely waiting for his food to be delivered.
“Petey! I need you to do a quick favor for me please,” she blurted, slightly out of breath.
He looked at her in confusion, sliding his phone back into his pocket. “Yeah?”
“I need you to unlock the lounge door.”
Shrugging, he led the way to the elevator as they headed up to the floor that the lounge was on. He then unlocked the door, to which she thanked him plenty of times for as he walked back to get his own food.
Throwing herself onto one of the chairs that was in the lounge, she let out a sigh of relief, food still in the bag and unopened.
“How on earth did you get here before me—”
She turned her head to the door, seeing Nils there, panting, out of breath, hand holding onto the door frame. His hair was soaked, dripping onto his shirt, most likely from the rain that started to fall harder since she got inside.
“I went through the front entrance,” she said nonchalantly. “Why?”
A surprised look was scrawled on his face. “The front entrance wasn’t under construction?”
She shook her head to his question.
“Why did Petey tell me that it was?”
A laugh bubbled out from her throat, causing her to hunch over as he sat down across from her. “Petey—he—let me in and use the elevator and pass to get in the lounge with no hesitation,”
While she found the situation hilarious, he on the other hand, was embarrassed, face flushed red.
“You owe me lunch next, that was foul play.” He opened his bag and started eating his burrito bowl, sitting comfortably on the couch.
Her lunch was already in her hands, the warmth radiating from it nicely as she got cozy. “Nope.”
They both ate quietly in the lounge, the sound of the rain tapping on the windows gently as Vancouver became a grayish gloom, completely different from the warm, comforting glow of the lounge lights.
It felt eerily domestic, the quiet peace, the shared, comforting silence, too strange to even consider it something just in the workplace between Nils and her. It felt like something that she could get lost into so easily, something along the lines of a classic fairytale romance.
“What’cha staring at?”
His voice snapped her out of her thoughts, and a rose-tinted blush was dusted over her face as she averted her glance.
“Nothing, just lost in thought,” she shrugged, hoping to play it off.
Her food was nearly finished, only small bits and scraps left which she prodded with her fork as she was deciding on whether or not she should throw it away or take it home.
The phone in her pocket buzzed, causing her to get up and throw the food away before excusing herself, walking into the hall to pick up the call.
“Hello?”
The familiar voice of her friend could be heard through the phone. “Hey, where are you? I thought you would be in the office by now.”
“Oh, sorry. I got caught up with something. Do you need me there now?”
“More like caught up with someone,”
Even through the phone, she could tell that her friend was giving her a knowing look accompanied with a wink.
“But anyways, I don’t need you ASAP but just enjoy your lunch with that special someone. Get back to me when you can.”
She let out a sigh, having already been outside the lounge. “Will do, love you lots.”
Her friend reciprocated the departure as she hung up, sliding the phone back into her pocket as she made her way to her office.
Nils left the lounge shortly after she hung up the phone, but he heard the last part of her call, which set him on edge. He didn’t know much about her personal life, and he wasn’t even sure if he was overstepping some personal boundaries of hers.
As the days passed, tensions rose in the arena as the Canucks went against the Oilers. Everyone felt restless, unease, not being able to properly get comfortable. Even after each win, it still felt like it wasn’t enough.
She stared at her laptop screen, sifting through the goals scored and other notable statistics of each game, somehow searching for a way to win with full certainty. Her fingers tapped against the desk nervously, and it felt like every poster and memorabilia on the wall was a relic to pray to.
The sound of childish bickering could be heard outside of her office, and she leaned back to try and get a glance at who it was. “Come in? The door is open I think—”
Her door swung open, and there stood a flustered Nils and a giggly Quinn attempting to push him into the room, whispering some sort of encouragement.
“Is everything alright?” She turned her chair to face the door, slowly getting up.
His playoff beard was starting to grow more, giving him a more masculine look that made her slightly weak, but he still kept a soft gentleness that she always liked from him.
“If I score tonight, will you get dinner with me?” Nils’s voice was quiet and nervous, but Quinn still stood in the doorway, waiting for a response from her.
She gave him a smirk, and she felt a wave of boldness overcome her. “I know you’ll score anyways, but we have a deal,”
He smiled with a blush and waved her goodbye as he ushered Quinn and him out of her office.
Time didn’t seem to pass quick enough, and she found herself pacing back and forth from her office to the rink. She had already prepared her report, all the information and stats needed for the pre-game announcements.
Taking in a deep breath, she tried to remind herself that the game would go well, but the pre-game jitters still ran rampant inside of her.
At the end of the hall, she could see her friend waving her over, holding something in her hands. As she walked closer, she could see that it was two Canucks jerseys, unnumbered and unnamed.
“I didn’t know which one you’d want—well I did know, but I didn’t want any rumors to spread for professionalism’s sake—so I got you a jersey for the game tonight.” She smiled.
It made sense, but she didn’t know why she was allowed to wear a jersey tonight. “Management let you?” she said, confused.
“Yeah, odd, but I don’t mind it.” She placed the jersey in her hands, the athletic material brushing against her palms. “Hoping we snag a win tonight,”
She let out a sigh, anxious but hopeful. “Me too,”
A few minutes before puck drop, she stood near the glass beside the rink, the blue and green lights of the arena giving the place an eerie glow.
Her jersey was on, Canucks emblem proudly displayed on the front as she got ready to give the pre-game report.
“Welcome everyone to Rogers Arena where the Canucks are facing off tonight against the Edmonton Oilers, hoping to get a win in this series. Tonight, the focus and spotlight is shifted onto our players to watch, having performed greatly these past few games,”
The camera was then panned to the players practicing on the ice as she moved to the bench, standing behind the players beside the coaches and athletic crew.
And as the game started, the arena was tense. The sounds of the stick smacking on the ice could be heard, cheering, chanting, and puck calling all too familiar. The building was loud and the fans were riled up, hoping to not be let down.
Minutes passed by, and the puck was being moved up and down the ice, and just as it made it into the offensive zone for the Canucks, leading to a goal for Elias Petterson.
Fans cheered and shouted as the goal horn went off, banners flying and waving through the air as the players celebrated the first goal of the game.
She cheered from the bench as well, celebrating with her colleagues and friends, full of adrenaline and joy. Even though Nils hadn’t scored yet, she was still hopeful that he would, having seen a couple of close calls that bounced off of the post or barely stopped by the goalie.
As the first period came to an end, the players filed off into the locker room as the media crew and her gave a quick first intermission report.
She could feel her heart beating in her chest, the oh so familiar feeling of being high with the rush of energy, the way it felt so unreal despite experiencing it over and over again.
Before she knew it, the second period was starting, players in their position in the neutral zone waiting for the puck to hit the ice. Her eyes watched every player carefully, observing each number and and keeping note of who is where and when at every second.
When she saw Nils get onto the ice, time felt like it was solid as she held her breath.
He weaved through the other players, gaining possession of the puck before passing it back to Quinn.
As the goalie thought Quinn was going to shoot, he passed it back to Nils, who scored a wrist shot that went over the goalie and into the goal.
The horn went off as the fans started to cheer wildly, the players celebrating on the ice again with picturesque smiles and hugs while she was on the bench, face dusted with a blush as she tried her hardest to play it off as over-exerted cheering.
She could see the smirk on his face, knowing that the deal was already set, and she could also see how Quinn was pointing at Nils, most likely teasing him about the bet.
The game went on, slower than what she wanted, but by the end of it all, it was a two-nothing victory for the Canucks, leading to a happy team, and more specifically, a happy Nils. The locker room was amped, music blaring as she walked by, the sound of grown men trying their best to sing along, and a smile scrawled on her face.
She had already done the post-game report, albeit, a very rushed one with a flustered look on her face, but she tried her hardest to remain as professional as possible. Her bag was packed and all ready to head home, files and papers in folders, laptop in its case, and every muscle in her body felt ready to collapse.
The rain was rampant outside, splashing in puddles outside on the concrete, and she knew she had to either be quick, or deal with a soaked jersey, and the last option did not sound too pleasant.
Staring into the now empty parking lot, she allowed herself to take a few deep breaths in, feeling the cool air fill her lungs, and breathing out, with her muscles relaxing.
She could hear footsteps behind her, but like a second instinct, she knew exactly who it was.
“Nils,” she said quietly.
He paused before taking another step towards her, the air now seemingly filled with a static. “You’re going to catch a cold,”
“You as well.”
A small chuckle escaped his lips, followed by a sigh. “Let’s get to your car first, then we’ll talk,”
She led the way to her car, hair becoming more messy and soaked from the rain. When she looked back, she saw Nils following behind her, but he looked even more tempting with his unkempt hair.
Placing her bag in the car, she turned back to Nils, seeing him stand there waiting for her.
He looked at her, observing every detail of her with no shame. “That jersey looks beautiful on you, ya’know?”
“Oh, stop it, Nils,” she blushed. “When and where is the dinner I was promised?”
Pulling out his phone, he asked for her number, to which she gave him it. She had trust that he would actually follow through with his promise, and so she didn’t ask for him to check it again.
“I mean it, you look gorgeous and always have. Even right now.”
She looked up at him, admiring his features silently for a few while her fingers ghosted over the lapel of his suit.
“May I?” He asked, hand hovering over the small of her back.
As soon as she nodded, he pulled her into a tender kiss, lips pressed against hers. It felt like everything from the past few weeks all started to become worth it, the waiting, the stares and glances. All of it.
The rain continued to fall between them, cold against the warmth of their bodies, and she didn’t want to pull away any time soon.
Her eyes remained shut, but she knew he looked so handsome with his lips pressed to hers. His scruff was scratching against her face, but she knew that she wouldn’t ever mind it at all.
Butterflies were loose inside of her, fluttering wildly as if she waited for this moment for far too long.
His touch, his fingers against her chin was full of sparks, and his other hand on her back seemed to be the only thing grounding her to reality, reminding her that this moment was real, and forever in her memories.
When they both finally pulled away, breathing heavily, their lips were swollen and tender, smiles painted on their faces.
He had a sort of angelic glow to him, ethereally irresistible, and she pulled him in for a quick peck once more.
“Can’t get enough of me already?” He chuckled.
She shook her head as she opened her car door, sitting inside as she gave him a gentle smile. “Could never get enough of you.”
He took her hand in his palm, giving it a gentle kiss before he waved goodbye to her again. “Please, get home safe,”
“Will do, Nils. I’ll see you tomorrow,”
As she drove off with a dopey smile, she could still feel the warmth of him and each touch of his vividly, and she knew the glow of the lights in Vancouver would never be the same again.
#nhl#hockey#nhl hockey#nhl writing#nhl fic#hockey fic#hockey imagine#vancouver canucks fluff#vancouver canucks#nils hoglander fluff#nils hoglander#nils hoglander x reader#nils hoglander imagine#nils hoglander fic#nils höglander#nils höglander x reader
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Did Lin say anything about Palestine? I couldn't find it and you know about everything he does
either he didn't (which is just as disappointing) or i missed it (because i definitely don't know everything). i think the first one. which makes me sad.
but it's not only about palestine when it comes to taylor, it's also about swifties sending death threats to joe alwyn only knowing one side of the story & basically treating him like a trash (one of the reasons i don't want to be part of this fandom, it's just embarrassing at this point), it's about her new relationship that feels so fucking fake (are you trying to tell me that this was a real conversation? sorry but i don't buy it), it's about so many things... that i don't even want to discuss at the moment. she's not the person she used to be & i'm sick of all of this.
#getting older but just never wiser for real#i knew someone would eventually come at me#don't get me wrong i am also disappointed that lin didn't say a word about palestine#but also let's not pretend that he's not being vocal about other important stuff while taylor is being very selfish about everything#i think she should probably go & watch miss americana lol#also let's not compare their platforms#lin has 1mln followers on instagram while taylor has 281mln#should he still speak about it? of course#but she literally has the biggest platform in the world right now so...#hate me all you want i'm just fucking mad#anon#i saved every letter you wrote me*
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i wrote this as a joke because I wanted to strangle a guy watching tiktoks without headphones on the bus, but im genuinely disturbed that we've gotten to a point where convenience comes first. and it depresses me even more that its used to justify and monetize greed
#like we have so many ways of doing things that could help us in the long run but because we're told it requires more work we just cant#its too resource intensive. or maybe its too much to maintain. we have to overlook benefits so money can go into more important things#we teach each other to do things a certain way so it works for everyone but who was it convenient for first? what abt who it might hurt?#i have to wonder if the rules our current system uses is worth listening to or following if it doesnt have our best interests in mind. u an#me and the ppl around us.. would we be better off if i ate my meals knowing the person who grew it wanted to feed others the way they could#feed themselves? and that isnt to say we're going to be happy doing it but i guess satisfied that its helping someone instead of quietly#accepting that itll eventually go in the dumpster behind a grocery store because it stopped looking appetizing or it wasnt on sale anymore#what about building homes so we can shelter each other? what if we were satisfied with what we did because we knew it would be paid back#with kindness? isnt that what we evolved to do?? heal each others bones and tell stories and help each other??#why dont houses come with solar panels or generators unless we find a way to make people pay to use the sun? why is our pooled money used#to fund genocides instead of education and hospitals? whose interests and convenience came first when we started this??#i wont pretend to know the answer because i dont. but we all know we're miserable and im sorry to say that i cant see myself fighting#for a world that wont fight for me too. why do we work if we cant live from it?? why did they stop us from plucking more teeth from our#bosses until they could build more walls around themselves and then go back to underpaying us??#im so tired. i cant even imagine making it to age 70#yapping#vent
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Totally unaffected by this gesture of affection, definitely (Patreon)
#Doodles#SCII#Helix#The Captain#ZEX#Forgive the quality lol I wanted to make them pretty but then- Well you know lol#Dandelions <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3#You know it's bad when you start getting excited about the most mundane little signifiers <3#Dandelions deserve way more love than they get anyway it all balances out#I just hghh it's such a simple setup but there's a lot of feelings that can be expanded upon!#Like would Zelnick know about dandelions cultural ties?? He grew up on Unzervalt - unless someone brought some with them!#Or explained it I guess - but also Unzervaltians seem like scrappy underdogs sprouting up in the sidewalk cracks to defy the Ur-Quan too#Feels like it would actually mean a lot to him if he knew their symbolism!#But even if he didn't - they're Earth Flora! A piece of his home that /should/ just be mundane and everyday and not a big deal but it is!!#I legit teared up at Zelnick appreciating a blue atmosphere ah <3#He loves Earth so much wah <3 The naturalistic storytelling in his internal monologue are genuinely So Good#And then y'already know I love ZEX gifting him flowers lol I really do need to finish that one comic I posted the preview of it's cute!#Any little way that he engages with human courtship is The Cutest to me <3 Trying so hard to impress his love!#Trying so hard to cross that cultural gap agh it gets me bad! Seeing humans as more than just pretty somethings to be enjoyed at a distance#ZEX's pride also gets me bad hehe but I really love when he uses his intelligence to try to relate and understand#See humans as complex individuals both personally and in different cultures! He gets so distracted so easily hehe silly ♪#Also I don't know if I have anywhere else that it'd come up but agh gods his and Zelnick's conversation about the eventual fallout of ZEX's#kidnap attempt - Literally The Best like ugh!! ♥ I /tried/ to write something half that exact and eloquent and it's just right there! Gah!!#S'beautiful s'so good fjdslafd I'm love I'm love
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