#i keep thinking back to college times when i had barely any money for food and i would get these 40c boxes of mac n cheese | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

creedslove · 10 months

Text

BEING JOEL MILLER'S WIFE 🍓 - HEADCANONS

No outbreak!Joel Miller x f!reader

A/N: I wanna quit my job and be his stay home housewife so bad 😭

You didn't actually have a honeymoon because the money isn't abundant but you definitely took a weekend away to stay in a nice lake house or go to a water park in summer because why not before Joel had to go back to work

But just because you didn't have a fancy honeymoon trip it doesn't mean you didn't spend the whole day all over each other, exploring each other's bodies and barely putting any clothes, I mean, what's the point if you are gonna take them off anyway

He took his guitar and he played to you as you watched the sunset together, he played and hummed beautifully and overcame his natural shyness so he would sing some love songs to you

You wear your wedding and your engagement ring, and Joel wears his too, not only that, he wears it proudly to show he is taken

After your time off, you had to adapt to your new routine, but now Joel leaves home a little later than he usually did, because now he had a sweet wife to have breakfast with ❤️

You have morning lazy sex most mornings, you always wake up with Joel's boner poking your back and you don't resist his sleeping puppy look with the messy hair, sweet smile and strong arms that pull you closer to his warm body

Breakfast depends on who gets up first, sometimes it's Joel, sometimes it's you. He doesn't mind cooking you breakfast but he prefers when you do it because your food is way better than his

You love packing Joel his lunch, sometimes when there's leftovers you pack him a full meal in his lunch box, otherwise you make him a real good sandwich and some other treats

The guys who work for him low-key make fun of the fact the serious and kinda grumpy Joel Miller carries a lunch box made by his wife

And Joel doesn't give a shit about those fuckers because he has a loving wife who takes care of him

If you don't work or you work from home, you make sure to leave the house always tidy and organized for your man

If you work out, he makes sure to split the chores with you on the weekend, but since your shift is a lot shorter than his, you manage to do the cleaning mostly by yourself so weekends are for relaxing or going out

You also make sure to bake him several treats: cakes, pies, cupcakes, muffins, homemade bread, cookies or desserts like pudding or different recipes

Dinner every night for your husband, especially when he gets home a little earlier than usual and he decides to help you, because that leads to sweet moments and even maybe some dancing in the kitchen

Usually weekends are reserved for takeout or he actually takes you out for lunch or dinner, because he wants his wife to relax and enjoy the weekend with him

Joel's a gentleman and he doesn't want you to worry about sharing the bills at home, he sees himself as the one who needs to provide to you, so he insists you keep your money to yourself

And you do so by buying yourself things so you can be pretty for him

But you also buy him a lot of things, you like spoiling things with new shirts, new jeans, new shoes and whenever you see something you think Sarah will like, you buy it for her too

So when she comes home from her college break, there's usually a pile of presents waiting for her on her bed

Joel works really hard and when you two were dating, he often arrived really late because of work, but after you got married, he decided to reduce his working schedule a little because he wants to be there for you

But still, his work is HARD, so he often gets home exhausted and starving and you gladly serve him dinner

He often invites you to shower with him after work, which you do it eagerly. Sometimes it leads to some slow, sexy shower sex, and sometimes you just wash his hair and down his back

When he's sore from working so much, it's also common for you to massage him. You get some lotion and apply on his sore back and you enjoy his grunts and pleasure moans as you help him relief the tension and it might lead to a happy ending with a handjob or not, it depends on the mood

Or you just cuddle on the couch after dinner, Joel is a gentleman and insists on doing the dishes for you or at least help you with it

You either rest against his side or he rests his head on your lap

Run your fingers through his hair and you can swear that man purrs at the relaxation, it never fails him to sleep

When Tommy finally leaves the house for good, Joel and you start making plans on what to do with that spare room. If you're into art he is willing to turn it into an atelier for you; if you love reading, he already got the tools and the wood to build you a big shelf for your own library at home

Or one night he just suggests it would could be home office so it gets easier to remodel it once the baby comes

"What baby Joel?" You frown softly and he cleared his throat "well, you know, I thought we would… or maybe just in case…"

You hadn't discussed that before marriage and perhaps now you see maybe you should have, but you just assumed he wouldn't want more kids after he spent the last decades of his life raising his daughter by himself

And to be honest, not even Joel himself is sure if he wants kids or not, but he does love to picture you with a baby bump, carrying his baby, just as much as he loves watching you interact with little kids

You two decide to sit down and talk things through, and you come to the conclusion that if it happens, it happens, but it's not a necessity or a deal breaker in your relationship

Because you love your husband Joel, and he loves you too ❤️

_____

A/N: idk I wanna marry him so bad 😭

495 notes · View notes

noellawrites · 2 years

Text

Yandere Lalo Salamanca Headcanons

a/n: sorry these are so long but i cannot help but be a slut for this man

warnings: gun mention, breeding kink, sex, general nsfw content

SFW

- your first mistake was simply walking into El Michoacáno

- this beautiful, sadistic man had set his eyes on you from the moment you swung that door open

- your friendly laugh and eager smile captivated him

- he truly never believed in love at first sight and all that crap until he met you

- he struck up small talk with you just to learn more about who you were

- after finding out you were a broke college student, he handed over an application at lightning speed

- even though they really didn’t need any extra workers since it’s basically a front for the cartel

- but you were none the wiser, so you eagerly took the application and brought it back a week later

- you decided you couldn’t resist the mysterious, charming man that was Lalo Salamanca

- and besides, how harmful could a family man and chef with those eyes be?

- as it turns out, very.

- on your second day, you discovered that your new workplace was the location of various drug deals

- as the only waitress, your hands shook as you smiled and brought food to the men with guns

- Lalo promised that he would always protect you, though, and you believed him

- after you had worked at El Michoacáno for about a week, you’d let it slip to Lalo that you took the bus

- he didn’t ever want you taking the “filthy, dirty public transit” and started taking you back and forth from work in his 1970 Chevrolet Monte Carlo

- one time, the windows were down and a guy in another car whistled at you

- Lalo pulled out his gun and aimed it at the man’s head as he drove away in fright

- moments like this scared you but also majorly turned you on

- it isn’t long before you’re officially dating

- some people at school start to look at you different, as you sometimes bring Lalo around just to hang out

- you start seeing Lalo’s dark side, it doesn’t raise many red flags at first

- but after he establishes rules for you, makes you quit your El Michoacáno job to keep you safe and moves you in with him, it’s already too late

- he barely ever got physical with you, but the first time was when he saw you walking with your lab partner

- he waited for the guy to leave his dorm later and killed him

- then, he came home, still bloody, and slapped you across the face

- he wants you to know that you’re only only person he gets this defensive over, you’re the only one he loves

- he even tries to make you drop out of school at one point, just so you could be with him more

- you vehemently disagree, wishing to finish your degree

- but you are still indebted to him, as he now pays for your schooling, living under his roof, and anything else you could want or need

- he never means to scare or intimidate you, he just can’t control it sometimes

- you find out he’s in the cartel after about two months

- it suddenly made sense: the men with guns at your old job, the piles of money he seemed to have, him leaving randomly in the night sometimes

- he loves seeing you wear his button-downs, even just over a tank top or your pajamas

- it just turns his possessive streak on

- he has your name tattooed over his heart <3

- if you aren’t physically with him, either he is watching you from afar or he has two of his men watching you at all times

- he is very territorial with you and pretty much everyone in Albuquerque down to Mexico knows that

- his house in Albuquerque, though nowhere near as big as his house in Chihuahua, is huge

- it’s a sprawling four-bedroom with a huge pool and the perfect view of the Sandia Mountains

- “If you think this is beautiful, wait until you see the home in Mexico we’ll raise our family in,” he tells you

- he makes it very clear to you that you will give him many little Salamanca’s, and he will make sure you enjoy the process

NSFW-ish

- B R E E D I N G K I N K

- Lalo has a huge family and wants lots of children to carry on the family name

- he also loves your body when pregnant, how both of you know that your body is hard at work growing his offspring inside of you

- his favorite trick is getting you off with his hands, works every time

- he will pin you down and have his way with you literally anytime

- he fucks you so good that there isn’t even a thought left in your head by the time he’s done

- whenever he eats you out (which is a lot, he’s a giver) he loves watching you writhe and moan beneath him

- and his mustache feels so good down there

- he can sometimes get out of control with spanking you, choking you, etc.

- but you just have to tell him and he’ll stop. he doesn’t want to hurt you unless it’s for a punishment

- but the BDE… is true. it’s all true. he’s big but the perfect size. like not too big yk? he works that cock like magic

#lalo salamanca x reader #lalo salamanca headcanons #lalo salamanca #better call saul x reader #better call saul headcanons #better call saul

476 notes · View notes

walder-138 · 8 days

Note

Okay, Pookie. I forgot my precious ask, so I’ll send in new ones for the other OC ask game. 👁️👄👁️

5. what was your character's dream job as a kid? is it different than what their career ended up being?

6. what is the thing your oc likes the least about themselves?

16. how does your OC feel about their parents? (No hope for Ozzy and Annika 😭)

23. what are your OC’s biggest flaws and biggest strengths?

26. least favorite food and color?

28. is your OC a dog or cat person?

Pookie I’m so sorry 😭

(5) Oz’s dream job was to play in the NFL, which he was extremely close to doing. He loved football, was very talented and got an athletic scholarship to a college known for its team. Two years in, ‘68, his little brother, Johnny, gets drafted. For Oz’s entire life, he was the one expected to go into the military as the oldest, so the guilt he had overwhelmed him into joining as well. That’s why he joined the Army.

Annika wanted to be a Veterinarian because of “her” childhood dog. (some crusty ass stray she found on the side of the street) He got sick and died, and she wanted to stop that from happening to other animals. (Boris is literally the reason why Annika has any semblance of empathy. Dawg was the best)

Now… oh shit. She’s a mass murderer who kills people for a living, dead opposite of what she wanted to be. Oh well, lives a bitch and then you die.

Abbey, as a kid, wanted to do anything that supported her caregivers’ ideology, which she truly didn’t know jackshit about. She thought that they could do nothing wrong and needed support; she would’ve died for them. Instead, Abbey also took the exact opposite route. She went into the FBI to take those people down. Another drastic change in the list.

(6) Oz hates who he was between leaving Vietnam and having Jenny. “A depressed, abusive, drug-addicted piece of human shit.” as he calls it. He hates it when he exhibits any behaviors that remind himself of that time. If Oz yells at Jenny, or feels the urge to relapse, he punishes himself by not taking care of himself.

Annika hates that she isn’t as ruthless as she used to be. She’d used to kill for money, for power, now Annika can barely kill for self defense. She wishes she could go back to being apathetic, but now that scab’s been peeled off, and everything’s bleeding out.

Abbey hates how obsessive she is. Not stalker-like obsessed; I’m talking obsessive-compulsive obsessed. There’s a constant presence in her head telling her how she should be, what she must do or else something terrible will happen. How deeply she thinks about how somebody else’s acting. Girl barely sleeps at night because of her rituals.

(16) Oz HATES his father. That monster abused him physically, emotionally, and psychologically for his entire life. Nobody believed him growing up that his father was abusive, not even his siblings, because Old Man Clancy was a ‘war hero’. War hero his ass. All Ozzy saw was a monster.

However, he was a Mama’s boy through and through. She was the only person that believed him, as she went through the abuse herself. They spoke to each other in German when Old Man Clancy was away and made dinner together for rest of the family. Best memories of his life with his mom.

Annika, it depends which AU. In the original one, with her as Bell? She couldn’t care less about her parents. They never had that ‘love and attention” thing that y’all seem to be obsessed with. Her parents were more coworkers than parents. Everything was transactional within the “family”.

However, in the AU where her dad becomes Bell, she’s only about 9. Girl looks up to him, wanting to do all the things he does, and loves him more than anything. Well, she was in one of the cars during the airport thing at the beginning of the story, so now she thinks he’s dead. She was screaming out for her dad while Mason was carrying her off.

Can’t do Abbey as she doesn’t know her parents 🙃

(23) Keeping this one short:

Oz’s greatest flaw: Chronically low self-esteem; dude hates himself so much he unknowingly takes it out on everyone around him.

Oz’s greatest strength: Resilience; dudebro’s gone through hell and back, and is already up for round 4. He ain’t giving up any time soon.

Annika’s greatest flaw: Pookie look at her. Her lack of empathy; she can’t understand other’s emotions too well.

Annika’s greatest strength: Her ruthlessness. She don’t give a SHIT. She will get the job done.

Abbey’s greatest flaw: She’s a perfectionist, about herself and the people around her.

Abbey’s greatest strength: Her genuine kindness.

(26) Oz is a macho man, he hates the color pink. Dawg has PTSD surrounding non perishables, he will not eat canned food cause he found a BUNCH OF COCKROACHES IN A CAN OF CORN DURING HIS DEPLOYMENT AHHHHHHH HOW THE FUCK DID THEY GET IN THERE????

Annika hates meat. She’s a vegetarian, the smell of meat makes her gag. She’ll throw up if she has to eat it. She doesn’t like the color orange, reminds her of Captain Asshole (Adler).

What food DOESN’T Abbey hate? Girl is very picky, but her least favorite is ONIONS BECAUSE THEY SUCK. ONIONS SUCK. I FUCKING HATE ONIONS. THEYRE DISGUSTING. HOW COULD YOU ENJOY THEM???? SHE WILL GAG. Oh and her least favorite color is blue 😊

(28) Oz is a cat person through and through. Dogs remind him of Vietnam.

Annika doesn’t give a shit. If it has 0-4 legs, 0-2 eyes, makes an adorable noise (or tries to), she will LOVE it. Get her a rat, she’ll love and cherish it.

Abbey’s a dog person. They’re so funny and are always happy, and always serve as a good distraction.

THANKS FOR THE OTHER ASK! ITS ALWAGS NICE HEARING FROM MY POOKIE BEAR ❤️

#thanks for the ask!#oc #call of duty oc #annika voronova #bell oc #call of duty cold war #bell cod #oz clancy #call of duty #cod #abbey foster #yippie #yippiieee

11 notes · View notes

ghostussy · 2 years

Text

Times You Fell Asleep in the Ministry

Pt. 3.5

. . .

sorry for another short part! I wanted to keep this even so that next time I could put two together again :)

Also, this will use some prompts from the writing prompt list (37 and 39)! If there are any specific ones you would like to see, feel free to drop an ask in my inbox!

. . .

6. At the kitchen table

It was the early hours of the morning when you finally pulled your car into the parking lot of the Ministry. The sun wouldn’t rise for a few more hours, and it was cold outside. You shut the car off and walked to the front gate, opening it and walking through to the front door. Knowing that it would be locked, you pulled out your key and let yourself in as quietly as possible. After all, you knew there would be Hell to pay if you happened to wake Nihil up this early in the morning.

As soon as you stepped through the front door, it felt as though all the exhaustion you managed to avoid throughout the day caught up with you. Barely able to focus, you removed your shoes and crept through the halls as quietly as you could manage. You were the only one at the ministry with a job outside, working full time to earn money to pay for your college courses. Sister Imperator allows you to do so, to both work outside the Ministry and take college courses as well as complete your duties to the Clergy. It was difficult sometimes, having spent much of your energy towards work and what little was left went towards homework. It didn’t help that today’s eight hour shift somehow turned into twelve, then sixteen. You weren’t even sure if that was legal; it didn’t matter anyway, you would have been required by your boss to do it anyhow.

Now that you were home, you realized how hungry you were. You had last eaten around eight hours ago, when you were supposed to be leaving work. You made your way to the kitchen, quietly still, though your movements were clumsy with exhaustion. As you walked through the wide doorway, you caught a glimpse of the digital clock on the stove, which read 5:43 a.m. Then you dug through the refrigerator until you found some leftover soup. Not the best dinner in the world, but hey, food is food at the end of the day. You just wanted to eat and go to bed. After all, you had to wake up in a few hours to work in the Ministry. You dumped the soup into a mug and set it in the microwave, setting it for a couple of minutes.

While you waited, you sat at the kitchen table and took a deep breath, resulting in an involuntary yawn. Having been on your feet for several hours, you could now feel the pain radiating through your legs, your joints the worst of all. With a sigh, you lay your arms down on the table, folded, and rested your head on top. You closed your eyelids, feeling the familiar burn of exhaustion burning behind them.

. . .

“Y/n? Is this where you slept all night?”

You lifted your head quickly. “Hm? Oh, shit.”

Sister imperator stood over you, looking worried. “I must admit you gave me quite the scare. May I ask why you were asleep at my table?”

You lifted your head and buried your face in your hands, trying to think clearly enough to respond. She took notice of this and placed a hand on your back. “Child, I think that you should get to bed.”

“Ngh,” you were finally beginning to piece a thought together. “What time is it?”

“7:00 a.m., y/n.”

“Oh. Sister, I am so sorry. I arrived home from work around an hour ago.”

“Oh, child,” she looked even more worried now, “have you eaten yet? I noticed that there was a mug of soup in the microwave.”

You removed your hands from your face and looked up at her. “yes, ma’am. That’s mine, I’m sorry.”

“Oh dear, it’s quite alright. I did toss it, but I can make you something to eat. Give me just a moment.” She walked over to the stove, which you noticed now had a pan that appeared to have something cooking in it. You weren’t sure what she was making, and you didn’t care. You just needed something to eat so you could sleep.

You lay your head on the table again, and didn’t look up until she placed a plate in front of you.

“Please, try to eat something. Then off to bed with you.”

“Thank you very much, Sister.”

“Of course.” She walked over to the doorway, watching you carefully as you took the first few bites. Though they were slow, it was enough to convince her that you could be left alone for a moment, and she walked out of the kitchen. You continued eating.

You had just finished eating and placed your plate in the sink when Sister returned with Swiss, who was still dressed in his night wear. “Good morning, Swiss.”

“Good morning.”

Sister walked over to you and placed her hand on your shoulder. “”Y/n, I have relieved you of your duties for the day. You may treat today as a rest day.”

“Oh, thank you Sister, truly. Thank you.” You could feel the exhaustion return once again, and you nearly buckled. “I will take you up on that offer.”

“Good. Now, off to bed with you, child.”

“Yes, sister.” You began to make your way to the doorway. Swiss stopped you.

“Here, let me carry you.”

You chuckled. “That’s very kind of you, but I will be alright. Thank you, though.” You tried to make you way past him, but barely made to the door frame before your knees buckled again, and you stumbled.

“I wasn’t asking.” He walked over to you and swept you off of your feet, somewhat effortlessly. Sister walked up behind you two.

“Thank you, Swiss. Sleep well, child.” He responded with a nod.

“Ngh,” you laid your head on his chest, and wrapped your arms around his neck. “Sorry.”

“Don’t be. Come on, let’s get you to bed. Mine is closer, if you’d like to share.”

“Sure.”

He hummed in your ear as you made your way through the halls, sending chills down your spine. You were already beginning to drift off in his arms; by the time he made it to the ghouls’ wing, your eyes were barely open. He pushed his bedroom door open, and gently laid you down on the bed. The covers were unmade, and warm, indicating that Sister had woken him up to carry you to bed.

He walked around to the other side of the bed and laid down next to you, pulling the covers up over the two of you. You scooted closer to him, trying to absorb more of his warmth. Sleepily, you wrapped your arms around him, prompting a chuckle from him. “You know, if I had known you were going to be like this, I would have come to get you much more quickly.”

“Hgh. Maybe this should become a permanent arrangement.” You mumbled into his chest, unaware of the words coming from your mouth.

He smiled. “Maybe so.” He reached up and turned out his bedside lamp. “Alright, enough talking. Go to sleep.”

When he looked down at your face, he realized you were way ahead of him.

. . .

Prompts used:

37: “Try to eat something.”

39: "Here, let me carry you.”

#ghost band #drabbles #cuddles #ghost band cuddles #writing prompts #tyfaitm #swiss x reader #swissposter #swiss cuddles #the nameless ghouls #ghost band x reader #ghost fanfiction #ghost bc #the ghost band #ghost #can you guess which ghoul is my favorite lmao #it's swiss

62 notes · View notes

zombiebcit · 2 months

Text

norman reedus. 50. cis man. he / him. ― i see you meet WILLIAM "WILL" GRIMES, huh? they are around for… well, it will be 1 AND A HALF YEAR, now. time flies when you are busy and as part of THE MILITIA, they are. if you want to meet them, they live in B1A2A, i think. people say they are ADAPTABLE + PROTECTIVE, but don’t piss them off, okay? because they can be also UNTRUSTING + UNREPENTANT, so be safe.

BASIC INFO

⸻ FULL NAME: William Daniel Grimes

⸻ AGE: 50

⸻ GENDER: cis man

⸻ PRONOUNS: he / him

⸻ ROMANTIC ORIENTATION: biromantic

⸻ SEXUAL ORIENTATION: bisexual

⸻ SCARS / TATTOOS: many scars & tattos along whole body ;

⸻ OCCUPATION: before: many things ; now: militia ;

⸻ FAMILY: tba grimes ( child, wc ) ;

⸻ PLAYLIST: apologize by grandson ; i come with knives by iamx ; f.w.t.b by yonaka ( grandson remix ) ; 20 precent cooler by ken ashcorp ; devil by shinedown ; play dirty by kevin mcallister + [sebell] ; kill our way to heaven by michl ; devil's backbone by the civil wars ; follow you by bring me the horizon ; no one but you by every avenue ; ;

⸻ INSPO: carol peletier ( the walking dead ) , michonne ( the walking dead ) , ada wong ( resident evil ) , chris redfield ( resident evil ) , tess servopoulos ( the last of us ) , morrigan ( dragon age ) , flemeth ( dragon age ) , zaeed massani ( mass effect 2 ) , urdnot wrex ( mass effect ) ;

STORY tw: child neglect, drugs, alcohol, discussion of abortion, mention of starvation, allusions to prostitution ;

will's parents didn't cared where he is or what he is doing at all. thye might not have raise their hands, but they didn't loved him either ;

it wasn't a surprise when will got caught up in the wrong crowd and everything that follows one - wild parties with poping whatever was there to just shut his mind off ;

and then, it happened. barely out of the magical line of finally legal age, will's one-night stand, a nice girl from good family who just wanted to have a go at the bad boy came to him with a positive pregnancy test ;

the easy way, the ' right ' way for them would be to go and end it. damn, will even said that to her face and sadi he will pay for it & drive her there.

and he did, but siting there, waiting and see her flinching at every little sound... looking at her stomach and thinking ' there could my kid grow ' made him feel weird.

so will blur out quick ' wait, just wait ' and they had a long and heavy talk about this all ;

she didn't wanted to get rid of kid, but didn't want to be a mother too, having to care about child when she just "started" her life and will... will wanted it now ;

so for the next months, he did everything to get clean, to get better, to find job, any job, and save a little for his kid ;

and then he hold his child in his arms for the first time and that was it. he was a parent.

it wasn't easy, even with the money the girl shoved in his hands few days after brith, with a quick ' just tell them i died. ' ;

he did his best to be a good father, remember what his own father did and did the opposite - care about his kid, telling them he loves them often, showing interest in any littlie thing they showed him ;

he was jumping from job to job, going hungry more often than not just to make sure his kid wasn't, that they had anything they needed ;

working as bartender, he began getting offerts and at some point, he started to accept them. a quick bj there and there was enough to put the food at the table and while he wasn't proud of it, he wasn't ashamed either ;

and then will meet him ;

will know the name man give him was false, he was too clean, tooo charming to be honest ;

but the job offer was too good to pass on, the money could get them out of the shoebox apartament and put his kid in college if will would be smart about spending ;

so he took it and then it was 'take this packcage there', ' keep this person save for evening ' , ' make this person talk ' ;

will did thing, clean out whatever was on his hands - blood more often than not - and go back to being loving father ;

he never told his kid what he did, now or before, just made sure they are as happy as they could ;

he was so proud of them, watching them groing into young adult and starting their own adventure in life ;

and then, the fucking apocalypse happened. at the start, he tried to call, desperate to get in contact with his kid, then he traveled to them just to find them gone ;

rationally, he knows they might be dead, but refuse to acknowledge it ;

it was hard for will to get used to safety of the domus spei, still is. but anytime he is out there, he is still looking ;

WANTED CONNECTIONS

⸻ 01. ' 𝚂𝙾 𝙵𝚄𝙲𝙺𝙸𝙽𝙶 𝙿𝚁𝙾𝚄𝙳 𝙾𝙵 𝚈𝙾𝚄, 𝙺𝙸𝙳𝙳𝙾 '

child. ( main wc ) open. will had them very young, a result of one-night stand when he was 18-20yo, and he raised them alone. at the time when apocalypse happened, they were separated & will spend years looking for them without success. i would say they had pretty good relation but i am open to suggestions. this muse would be here for max 1-2 weeks.

⸻ more tba.

#bite.intro #» ⸻ will grimes . headcanons «#. this is the longest intro i did lol #. more wc tba because i can't think rn but open to anything tbh? XD #. mind the tws!

4 notes · View notes

frolics-dannilions · 1 year

Text

Genshin High School Shenanigans :

Death Creeps In

When Xiao was about to bring Zhongli's wallet to his new workplace, he stumbles upon the creepy girl of his school, Hu Tao, who happens to be the director of the place Zhongli's working. With this weird meeting, the two started to make a weird friendship with each other.

Content Warning: none.

Tags: modern au, high school, fluff

Pairing: Hu Tao x Xiao (HuXiao)

Part: 4

—

Keeping someone like Zhongli not spending as much Mora as he could is such a hassle. Hu Tao had to run around the parlor just to keep an eye on him while her father look over as the director for now. She is just a teenager and by the time she come of age, the funeral parlor will be pass down to her. That meant, dealing with Zhongli's even weirder shenanigans every single time of the day.

Examples but not limited to: sneaking up on him during the right times before lunch. Choosing to eat food from a street vendor rather than a kiosk. Preventing Zhongli from venturing off to more expensive places. Stopping him from buying things he likes by the large quantities. And so much more.

Is this what Xiao has to ensure everyday? She asks herself.

"Thank you, Hu Tao." Zhongli thanks her with the most gentlest of manners. "Without you keeping me in check, my wallet will be empty by the end of the week."

Hu Tao only pants her breath and sends him one of her thumbs ups. "No problemo."

Giggling, the old man lends her a hand. "As a sign of gratitude, I must treat you to the finest cuisine we have here." Hu Tao immediately runs up to him and snatches his wallet from his hands. It is so rude of her to do that but she has no other choice. "No more spending, old man!" She yells. "I've had enough. I only have the same amount money as you do so I can't afford to use it all up since they're my allowance."

"I see." Zhongli rubs his chin. "Then the word will be used to thank you for keeping me in check."

"More...like it..." Hu Tao huffs some breath out before returning his wallet back.

After only a week of spying on Zhongli to just doing this, she might have renewed her respect for Xiao. How could he, someone who keeps himself closed, take care of someone who has a spending habit of a billionaire but with the money of a barely getting out of debts college student?

"Are you and Xiao close by any chance?" He asks.

She isn't really ready to answer that after doing all that all day. But Hu Tao dust herself off and clears her throat, "Why do you ask that?" Zhongli just smiles calmly and looks at the exit longingly. Seems like he's reminiscing something but she couldn't really guess. "Never mind. I just want to know if he has new friends."

That is the first time she has seen Zhongli so happy before.

"Thank you for being there for him though."

What does he meant by 'new friends'? Hu Tao thought long and hard. That didn't make any sense. Does Zhongli not know at how famous is so-called 'son' is at school? The guy has girls talking about how pretty he is and not to mention being in the famous clique the 5wirls. But by how he acts, she isn't really blaming he old man for worrying about the poor bird boy.

She makes up her mind to not think about it that hard again and gets herself something to eat at the cafeteria, maybe she'll encounter her friends there and might be engage a rap battle with Xingqiu.

But before she could enter the cafeteria, she is being pull by someone from the back and their pull is very hard for someone who she vaguely sees as scrawny. When her sense finally comes back, it's Xiao!

"Huh?" She scratches her head confusedly. "What do you want, demon boy?"

Xiao blushes at the nickname. He hasn't heard that nickname since his childhood and now some girl in pigtails starts calling him that. What a strange girl...

"I'm just asking you if the plan was successful." He answers, leaning his back against the wall. Trying to act like he's a cool guy. "Was it?"

"Oh," She grimaces. "It did."

"Great."

"But..." That piques him. Hu Tao nibbled the tip of her nail and averts her gaze away from him. "...I didn't think that Mr. Zhongli would be such a kid about spending his Mora."

Xiao clicks his tongue. "Told ya."

He shakes his head before letting her go, "Go. I don't want to stir up some rumors." Says Xiao then walks away from the cafeteria, going back to his class to finish his notes for Ningguang's geography class.

Hu Tao stands there like a statue, watching him getting further and further away. Something inside her wanted him to stay but it's being cover by feelings of confusion. What does he mean by rumors?

"Hu Tao?"

She flinches at the voice, it's only Yanfei. Thankfully.

"Aren't you coming in? Xingqiu is searching for you too." The pink haired girl says as she pulls the brunette inside the cafeteria. It's unusual for her to stay outside alone. Yanfei has a suspicion that something must be going on with Hu Tao and that other boy from her class—Xiao. She doesn't know what but she's sure that they're hiding something.

"Finally!" Chongyun sighed heavily. Seems like the others have gone to not eat their lunches until she comes. Hu Tao crosses her arms and bends forward, "What? Why aren't you guys eating, the food's not good?" She jokingly asks.

Xingqiu drops his book and immediately goes for the rice bowl he paid for. "Haha, good one, Hu Tao." He gives her a dry laugh.

She smirks and sits down next to Xiangling—who's digging her face into her lunch—"Then...when's the rematch?" Asks Hu Tao.

"Rematch?" Xingqiu quirks his eyebrow. "Ah...our rap battle."

He opens his planner from his pockets and checks his schedule. They gotten used to Xingqiu and his limitless pocket space; one time, he even pulled out a two-hundred-page book from there. "This Saturday, does 4 pm sound good?" He asks and shakes her hand. A smile appears on her face, "Deal!"

Closing the book shut, Hu Tao quickly cleans her desk from those heavy text books and runs out of the classroom. This particular day is the day she gets a day off from the parlor and Lumine promised her that she'll be treating her and Yanfei to crepes after school.

As she stops her tracks at her locker, Hu Tao glances excitedly around to spot the blonde. That new crepes place is known to have the tastiest crepes in town so she doesn't want to miss out. And right on sight, she sees those blonde locks with flowers sticking out.

"Lumine!" She calls out.

The twin sister turned around and sees the brunette running to her excitedly. "You ready yet?"

The blonde nods. "Yanfei told me that she'll be joining us later. She needs to run some errands for her granny."

Hu Tao purses her lips together and makes a funny sound, "Darn, that's no fun."

The two girls walks out the gates, continuing their conversation during lunch earlier even about other topics they didn't talk about. Like about Aether amd his group of boys who are so carefree like the wind. About that new transfer student they heard from the rumor about a new first year in Xiangling's class from Sumeru. How difficult Mr. Tighnari's biology class was and how lucky Collei is to be his adopted daughter.

Hu Tao immediately bursts out laughing when Lumine cracks a joke about their Student Council president, Keqing, keeps her position even though she doesn't respect the teachers. But she soon stops when the both of them spot the 5wirls boys, consisting of: Aether, Kazuha, Venti, Heizou, and the one and only conquerer of demons, Xiao.

"Oh, hey, sis." Aether stops them by greeting his twin. Lumine only flashes a smile then ignores her brother. The others got used to it by this point.

"Yo, Xiao." Hu Tao grins.

Xiao gives her nod then glances away. It's very noticeable that he has a pink flush all over his cheeks—or for Heizou it's noticeable.

"Hey, Xiao." Heizou nudges his arm. "Greet her back, don't be such a wussy."

The others laugh at him and join Heizou at teasing the poor bird boy.

"Hey, you two, wait for me!"

Heizou halts his laughing when he hears that familiar deep voice. He peeks his eyes to the girls' direction and finds the two greeting their other friend Yanfei into the group. A small smile forms before continuing to tease Xiao.

"Oh, Xiao likes Hu Tao?" Aether says bluntly—only joining to tease him for fun.

The others turn to the blond with a hint of dumbfounded.

"Dude..." Venti's gotten deeper. "You're way behind the times."

Xiao only stays silent as ever because he doesn't want to be teased even harder than he already was. Why am I even friends with them... He even thinks to himself about that. True, it is weird for someone like Xiao to be friends with someone like Heizou and Venti even Aether. But they are one of the few people who he can respect because they have never judge him for anything strange.

"Where's...Kazuha?" Asks Xiao.

"Kaedehara left earlier." Heizou answers.

An idea pops inside the bright and young up-and-coming detective's mind. "Why don't you go on a date with her?" Heizou prompts his idea to the others. "Wh-what?!" Xiao shrieks.

"That's a good idea, Heizou!" Venti agrees. "How about ask her this Saturday?"

Xiao isn't ready for that sudden burst of enthusiasm from the three of them. Who do they think they are, his adopted siblings?

"S-sh-shut up...!" Xiao shuts it down immediately, he is so flustered that he even can't think straight. "I will not ask that weirdo on a date!"

"I don't have a crush on her!!"

#genshin impact #fluff #genshin #basically horimiya if it was genshin #romance #genshin ship #genshin hu tao #genshin xiao #hu tao x xiao #hu tao #xiao #huxiao

10 notes · View notes

ratralsis · 23 hours

Text

My 18-year-old cat, Tina, passed away today.

Two days ago, she was fine. Perfectly fine. Completely. But she didn't eat much. Yesterday, she barely ate at all, and she seemed wobbly on her feet when she walked around. Today, she wouldn't eat anything. I took her to the emergency vet for a final exam to confirm that there was nothing that could be done, called Lap of Love's local branch on the drive home, and she was euthanized less than four hours later.

Tina has been dealing with kidney and thyroid problems for the last two years. At one point, she weighed 11 pounds, and was a little overweight. I switched her from dry food to wet and she lot a couple of pounds. But once her thyroid became overactive, she dipped below 6. This morning, she weighed only 5.19 pounds. Less than half of what she was at her heaviest.

I didn't love spending $650 today, but it's the last time I'll ever spend money on her, and as long as I don't get a new cat in the next six months, the savings on not having to buy her food anymore will make up for it. Because, yeah, she was costing me over $120 a month in food, pills, and supplements. I still have about two months supply of those left, because I always tried to have about a two-month supply of everything she needed in case I would have trouble getting more. I'm not sure yet what I'll do with it. Probably give the medicine to the local vet, and keep feeding Max the food. I guess I have a four-month supply of it now that there's only one cat eating it.

I adopted Tina on February 14, 2006. It's an easy date to remember because it was Valentine's Day. A friend of a friend had just unexpectedly been forced to deal with kittens being born, and our mutual friend asked everyone he knew, including me, if anyone could take a cat.

I'd just lost a cat. I was still living with my parents and attending a community college to get my Associate's Degree. Spoiler: I did get it. Graduated with a 4.0 GPA and everything! Then I went back to school a couple of years later to get my Bachelor's, where I graduated with a significantly worse GPA.

The previous cat took over a month to die. I watched her go from being able to jump onto my bed from the floor to needing to jump to the chair and then to the bed. Then she needed help getting onto the chair. Then she needed help standing up at all. It broke my heart, and I promised myself I'd never let any cat of mine suffer for that long ever again. At the time, I had no choice, because I was still living with my parents, remember, and my mother refused to have that cat euthanized.

So I knew, years ago, that I would someday have Tina euthanized, too. I wondered for a long time how I'd know when it was time. I had all these little ideas and rules: when she has trouble getting onto the bed at night, then I'll know! Or when she can't climb onto the boxes by the window, then I'll know! But I worried that she'd slowly get worse and worse, and I'd refuse to end her suffering.

Instead, she went from perfectly healthy to unable to stand up long enough to avoid wetting herself in under 48 hours. Truthfully, I hope I'm that lucky when I die. I want to go from walking around and doing everything I want to do to dead in under 48 hours. Ideally, I want to have a stroke and die before I hit the ground. That's the dream. Three days after my 90th birthday. For me, and this applies only to me, hoping to live to be older than 90 just feels greedy, I think.

When I took Tina home from the emergency vet, she was already so weak that she didn't want to get out of her carrier. I had to pick her up and place her under the recliner, in her favorite cozy spot, lying on the blanket that hung over it. She was happy there for many, many days of her life. Today, she was struggling to breathe. I hope she forgave me for making her suffer through that. Her final four hours were the hardest of her 18 years.

The vet who came to my home to euthanize her was named Jessica. She was very kind. She gave Tina an anesthetic to relax her while she was still under the recliner, and I was there in her field of vision as she relaxed and her eyes unfocused. I'll never know if she was awake when we gently retrieved her and carried her to the sofa, where I held her on my lap as Jessica shaved a small patch on her back leg and, after a long conversation, injected the final drug. I held Tina during the entire process, as she coughed and breathed more easily than she had all day. She didn't purr. She didn't react to me scratching her ears. She didn't move her eyes, but they were open the entire time. Her muscles, Jessica told me, were so relaxed that her eyes had relaxed in an open state.

I watched the color fade from her gums and the pads on her paws. Her pink toe beans slowly turned a pale yellow as I held her, and her heartbeat got softer, and her breathing slowed, and then stopped. I was there, holding her on my lap, until the very end.

Max came out a few minutes later. Jessica took a few steps away so Max would be more likely to come and see me, which he did. Max has never liked strangers. He's always been skittish.

I adopted Max eleven years ago, in March of 2013, specifically to keep Tina company. Now it's just him and me. It will take a long time for us both to adjust, I think.

It will take a few nights and a few days for everything to sink in. For me to get used to the idea that Tina isn't here. Starting with the fact that I just put down only half as much food as usual for Max's evening meal, because there's nobody else for him to share it with.

Jessica said she was impressed that Tina was 18 years old. She'd never personally had a cat that old, though she'd tried. She said she could tell from how good Tina's coat looked and how clear her eyes had been that I'd taken good care of her. The truth is, Tina's coat took a lot of work. Tina didn't clean herself much. But I had a wire brush and a softer brush and she would demand that I brush her nearly every day. She was the softest cat I've ever known. Not a day went by that I didn't at least pet her enough to help keep her that way. At least, not a day that I was there with her. There were times when I was out of town and she stayed with my parents again. During those times, she didn't get brushed or pet quite as much, unfortunately.

But she did during her final days, that's for sure.

She was damp when she died. Despite putting her on a clean, dry towel afterward, she did wet herself under the recliner an hour or so after coming home from the vet, and a clean towel could only do so much. She also threw up some foam, so I tried to dry her off with a paper towel, but there was only so much I could do.

I'm glad she died in the summer. In the winter, because the bathroom becomes the coldest room in the house, I keep a space heater in there. So the cats loved spending as much time in the bathroom as possible, where it was a couple of degrees warmer than the rest of the house thanks to the heater. In the summer, Tina always felt like she had a lot more options as far as places to sleep. That included, of course, her favorite cozy spot under the recliner. I was worried that she would die in the bathroom. I'm glad that she didn't.

I'd love to say she was the sweetest cat in the world, but she wasn't. She was terrible. But I loved her more than any other cat I've ever had. She was my favorite, and I'm not afraid to say that even as Max is still alive and sleeping behind me as I type this. Sorry, bud, but I didn't know you since you fit in the palm of my hand. She wasn't the sweetest cat in the world, but she was the best.

The first few days after I brought Tina home, she had a habit of running laps around my bedroom until she was so tired that she didn't know what to do. She couldn't keep running, and she couldn't sleep, so she would just lie in my lap and cry about how tired she was from all the playing she'd done.

Tina would climb onto my bed and sleep next to me at least part of the night starting the very first night I had her. That first night, she licked my earlobe in the exact same spot as the cat I'd had who died a few months earlier, and I cried, because it reminded me so much of the previous cat. Tina didn't do that very many more times. She hadn't done it in years.

Last night, she struggled to get onto the bed, but she managed it. She walked across my body and then laid down on her side, which she'd never done before. She would always slowly lay down on her stomach, then roll onto her side, with her back against my arm. Last night, she laid down directly onto her side, with her back against my body, instead. I sat up and said to her, out loud, "Oh, shit." I pet her and tried to see if I could calm her down, and she started to sit up, because she didn't want to be pet right then. So I laid back down, and she did, too. But she had her legs out, so my right hand was on her front paws. I slid my hand under her front paws, instead, and she flexed her claws and gripped my hand in the way that cats like to put a paw on people to be assured that they're still there. She held my hand, the night before she died.

I don't know how much she knew, but she knew she was sick. She might not have known she was dying, but she knew something was wrong with her. She didn't feel well.

The emergency vet told me that she could feel Tina's kidneys were a little smaller than normal. This is expected for a cat with kidney disease. The kidneys, she told me, shrivel up, like raisins. Like they dehydrate.

Despite my best efforts to give Tina her thyroid medication twice a day, every day, feed her a special diet for her kidneys, and give her a potassium supplement every day, her kidneys finally gave out on her. She lived longer than anybody would have expected. Eighteen long years I had her. Nearly all of my adult life. One of those years were with just me, living together, and then ten with Max.

I kept a lot of plates spinning for a long time, and only one had to crash for her to die. She just ran out of time. That's all there is to it.

Her regular vet told me, a month ago, when I brought her in to get some antibiotics for an upper respiratory infection she was struggling with, that she was doing great for her age. I said at the time that that made sense, given that "typical" for her age was dead.

Tina is now doing typical for her age. She is beyond all earthly suffering and pain. I'll never know if I did the right thing. I wish I'd known yesterday that she'd have to spend those four hours today gasping and damp under the recliner. I'll regret that forever, but I did do the best I could. I have to cling to that.

If my final four hours are spent coughing and damp, I do hope I at least get to spend my final minutes without any pain, relaxed and in the arms of someone who loves me, like Tina did.

That's as good as somebody like me can hope for, I think.

I'll be better soon.

But not right away.

#ratralsis cats #death tw #tw death

1 note · View note

queerwhohatesithere · 2 months

Text

hey guys. what do you do when you actually want to kill yourself. pls don’t report this post or anything, im okay or will be

my biggest support right now is my cat. my apartment is deteriorating and i’m moving soon. i can barely muster the energy to eat, and i can’t afford food so i’m relying on whatever i already have and food banks. i had to ask for money in discords i’m in and i’m humiliated. and SA tw, i was raped last saturday. despite knowing that people always say, “it’s not your fault” it fucking feels like it. one of my biggest supports didn’t believe me that last time i was assaulted (long story) and it WRECKED me. she believes me on this. she always believes me. just had/has a blind spot for that one person. it hurts. it hurts so fucking bad. i have chronic fatigue and chronic pain so i never feel rested and my muscles are aching asf. i haven’t had the motivation to brush my teeth and can tell i have cavities i can’t afford to fix. if i want to get into the college i want i’ll have to do school full time in the fall and work less. i’m already struggling financially. i don’t know how i’m going to do it, and i have so much school ahead of me. this is my first semester and it’s already killing me. i’m trying to cope. i’m trying to check the facts. going to my DBT group. but it takes everything out of me to go to work, to barely get my schoolwork done and not have the motivation most nights to work on it. to feed my cat. and i share my dog with my ex and haven’t had him the last week but when i do have him, it takes everything in me to take him outside. all my money is going to lyft and uber bc the buses are unreliable. on the weeks i have my dog i can’t take the bus home even if i wanted to bc i’ll be home later and he’ll have been crated for too long. even this new fucking taylor album just feels dull. it feels like nothing can make me happy anymore. i feel utterly devoid, broken, and unwanted. i have too much going on and too much to do but can’t shed any of my responsibilities. i just. want to shrivel up into a ball and die. but what’s worse is knowing i don’t actually want to die, i want to live. i just feel like i can’t go on like this. and it sucks. the one form of sweet release i could have i can’t have. i’m disillusioned by anything i could try that wouldn’t permanently disfigure me if i fail. so i know that even if i DO make another attempt, i’ll end up right back in that hospital. and no one will visit me.

just. anything! anyone reading this! i feel like i’m shouting into the void! please. give me anything, any semblance of hope, any reason to keep going, any coping skills you have. i’m grasping at straws but i’m desperate. i’m trying SO hard to survive but i’m losing weight again and being hungry all the time makes me tired and cranky. i feel like im losing my mind, and im so scared, all the time.

how you deal with the person you loved most in the world leaving you? and literally thinking you’re crazy, saying that to your face.

with having memory issues to where i can’t even remember when she apologized.

with being in pain. all the time. all the fucking time.

how? how do i deal? how do i cope? how do i LIVE?

#chatters #genuine responses only please #like. i can’t afford to go to the hospital #i can’t afford to miss work #i can’t afford to miss school #i’m stressed #i’m low on money #i don’t have a car #i’m heartbroken #i feel. so alone #i’m trying to talk to friends but #they’re busy #or have stuff going on #the place i’m most active rn and receive the most attention and affection is a trans kinky discord server #with people who don’t live anywhere near me #i’m desperate.#i know it gets easier #it has before #but i’m SO fucking tired #i feel unloved and unwanted #i feel betrayed #and when people acknowledge me #tell me they’re proud of me #it just #doesn’t sink in??#why? why can’t i hear it #why can’t i beleive people love me #and why do i destroy every good thing in my life #i hace a therapist but i don’t like her. i need a new one and called like 6 different people #and nothing. except being told one of them is only psychiatry

1 note · View note

5sosfanfictioncatalogue · 3 months

Text

Michael/Calum/Ashton Masterlist

For Him (ao3) - cornflowerblue (daydadahlias) E, 25k

Summary: Ashton Irwin is a geography teacher with a massive crush on the band teacher, Michael Clifford. When cutbacks threaten the school's music program and Michael, Ashton springs into action. He dusts off his long-unused wrestling skills from college and earns money for the program by moonlighting as a mixed martial arts fighter, trained by ex-fighter Calum Hood. Though the school nurse, Luke Hemmings, thinks he's crazy, Ashton gains something he never expected (*cough* two boyfriends *cough*), and finds a semblance of safety in the chaos.

or, the slutty Here Comes the Boom AU that none of you knew you needed.

i'd love to hold you close, tonight and always (ao3) - irwah E, 3k

Summary: Ashton’s face lights up when he sees both his boys on his laptop screen.

“Hi, babe,” Calum says, softly, and Michael smiles further when he realises it’s the tone that’s reserved just for he and Ashton, not any of their loud obnoxious friends who are outside doing shots. Michael feels lucky he’s privileged enough to experience Calum like this.

Ashton smiles. “You guys look cute. God, I miss you.”

Or: skype conversations are cute until someone gives Michael tequila

Is that what you want? (ao3) - orphan_account M, 2k

Summary: the bali!mashlum fic that everyone's been waiting for.

It's Such a Shame That We Play Strangers (ao3) - velvethood (orphan_account) T, 14k

Summary: “Well, when my favourite customer disappears I’m going to be worried.” Ashton reiterates, hands Michael his drink and a plate full of three types of cake like he knew Michael was coming. “You have a lot of food to catch up on. I’ve been on the cake wagon lately, haven’t I Cal?”

This is the first time Ashton’s addressed Calum in front of him which isn’t surprising because they’ve never been in this situation before, but Michael’s unsure of what to do with himself. They haven’t even been introduced each other.

i wanna get lost (and drive forever with you) (ao3) - jbhmalum T, 1k

Summary: It’s the familiar rise and fall movement underneath his ear that Calum registers first before he’s fully awake, paired with a steady heartbeat he knows all too well.

Like the Stars Love the Sky (ao3) - tigerlily_sunshine michael/calum/ashton, michael/ashton T, 37k

Summary: Michael can’t admit to Luke that he liked kissing Calum or that he would like to kiss Calum again. He can’t, because admitting it to Luke means saying it out loud, and saying it out loud means that these feelings are real. It means that he loves Calum as much as he loves Ashton, and that isn’t fair to anybody, especially not Ashton who didn’t ask for a fiancé with one foot out of the door—not that Michael would ever leave Ashton, but the sentiment is the same.

(In which Michael doesn't realize he might be in love with Calum until Michael himself is engaged to Ashton.)

make my wish come true (ao3) - shutupluke T, 5k

Summary: Ashton is convinced that he hates Christmas, but he’s never had a Christmas like this before.

Never Been So Defenceless (ao3) - Jay_isnotokay M, 2k

Summary: “Dude, you two might as well just fuck in front of me since you clearly can’t keep it in your pants.”

“We could never-“ Calum started before Ashton interjected.

“Is that something you would want?”

“Is that…what?”

There is Grey Between the Lines (ao3) - velvethood (orphan_account) michael/calum/ashton, michael/calum E, 14k

Summary: Calum watches as Michael gets up swiftly, brushes past Ashton to reach for the cupboard just to the left of where Ashton’s standing. He stops behind him, front brushing his back, opening the door to grab the salt from the top shelf. He places it down on the counter, but doesn’t move until Ashton turns around. Even then, Michael only takes the smallest step back, and they’re still awfully close for two people who had barely breached conversation before this morning.

Three, that's the magic number (ao3) - beecosmic T, 7k

Summary: “Besides, this band was only in the city for the night and my boyfriend loves them so we went out.”

That’s a thing Calum does sometimes, he calls his husband his boyfriend.

Luke never asks, never calls him out on it, as it only really happened on a few occasions, but still, he’s left confused every time.

Or, in which Luke doesn’t realize Calum has both a husband and a boyfriend.

trivium (ao3) - irwah E, 26k

Summary: or: Calum continues to join in Michael and Ashton's relationship and everything is totally fine...until it isn't

wrap around my dreams (ao3) - shutupluke E, 3k

Summary: Mikey keeps walking in on her roommate and his boyfriend in increasingly compromising positions, and it's giving her a complex.

#5sosfanfictioncatalogue #5sos fanfic #5 seconds of summer #5sos #masterlists #michaelcalumashton #michaelcalumashton masterlist #ot3 #polyamory

1 note · View note

poetryoncoffee · 4 months

Text

AN: this is original since i don't know where to start with fanfics lol, this i think will be the start of the first draft I'm writing for my first attempt at an actual novel! any feedback is really, really appreciated

The Busy Life

I loved the simple life, my cottage, my little routine, the books i read, the shows i watch, the simple life. So how did i end up in the middle of the big city, looking as out of place as a sewer rat in a suit? having never visited London and always hating cities i just stood at the side of the road, watching some big ass red bus drive up the busy road, incredulous that people could stand to live here, do they not hate the constant bustling? the smell? the people everywhere? i guess not. It had never been the life for me, even when I got the chance to go to a good university i rejected, I was happy with my life of peace i didn't need higher education. I attended college in a city and that was enough. The day i passed my course i told my parents i wanted to move back to the countryside. "Marissa, why do you want to move back?" Mother questioned "Marissa, don't you prefer it here?" Father asked, my answers? "i want to move back because i like it there, it isn't loud and overcrowded and it smells like organic animal shite instead of gas and fumes" I said to her "no i don't prefer it here" I told him, i wanted to go home. Against their preferences i went back to our family home alone, believing that living alone with no money would be better then living in the city, i started farming my own food, keeping my own animals and took a job in the nearest village a few miles away. I made my living stocking shelves and mopping floors in a small, local shop a short bikes ride away from my cottage. I worked there for years, years that I spent alone in that cottage, happy with the amount of social interaction i got at the shop while stocking the shelves and mopping everyone's muddy footprints at the end of the day. i was happy to have that be the rest of my life until she walked in that day, that day that she stopped to talk to me, that day that I gave up on everything i ever knew.

I never thought i would feel this way about anyone, definitely not a woman, all my life i believed i was asexual, i had never felt any attraction, sexual or otherwise, to anyone. no personal or celebrity crushes. I realised soon after meeting her that it may have been the fact I never leave the countryside and don't see anyone but upon thinking on my school and college days i realised it still didn't make any damn sense. My sexuality could be anything, all I knew then was that i felt a new type of way towards the girl in front of me, I wanted to talk to her for hours, I wanted to get to know her. We talked in the aisles of the shop until she finally checked out and left, we agreed to meet in the field near my farm after dinner, it was all i could think about the rest of my shift, all i wanted was for it to hurry up and end so i could see her again. i biked home, barely looking where I'm going, too excited at the prospect of seeing her again in only two short hours. Short was what I thought at the time but I remember that they felt like the slowest two hours of my life like the universe slowed time down just to point and laugh at me as i paced my cottage, distractedly snacking on crisps and carrots. A pretty rubbish combination but i was too giddy to cook. I remember being so excited that i ran to that field a good 40 minutes early and setting up snacks and a blanket, trying to make it look fancy even though it was the most basic shit, i just wanted to impress her. We talked into the middle of the night, she told me her name was Olivia and she was visiting her sister who lived in the village, Olivia lived in London. I will never forget the feeling in my chest when she said that, my heart sunk and I immediately gave up on any form of relationship with her, still naively believing that i would never move to the city, how wrong i clearly was.

#original writing #writeblr #writers on tumblr #writing #first draft #writerscommunity #lgbtq #sapphic #lesbian #wlw #lesbianism

1 note · View note

curejiraiya · 6 months

Text

Every fucking time I agree to go shopping with my father I fucking regret it and say never again, and then without fail I fucking do it again six months later. He ALWAYS has a meltdown in the store, he literally cannot go shopping without having a meltdown. I can't fucking stand it. He was freaking out because apparently a child I stood next to coughed? Which did not fucking happen. But because I did that he was in full blown meltdown mode and he accidentally paid with his credit card instead of the snap card. I asked him to get me a new bed frame for Christmas because mine is fucked and held together with duct tape, and you can get one on Amazon for fucking $45 and I thought maybe he'd get it for me. But now that he accidentally blew that money because he had to physically hold himself back from attacking a child in aldi I'm not fucking getting it anymore. God I can't stop crying lmfao I don't even care about the present he just started fucking screaming once we got in the car and I just had to sit there and listen. I thought I'd go with because it was a short trip to buy some things we didn't get from the food pantry and a gift for my brother's kid for Christmas. God WHY did I fucking go???????? I can't breathe I feel like I'm going to fucking collapse. This is why I can't leave the house, because EVERY TIME I go out he has a meltdown and starts screaming and freaking out. He started screaming at me for "slamming his car door as hard as I can, I probably broke it." and like he literally fucking makes up problems. I barely tapped his door I'm not even kidding when I say any lighter of a press and it would not have closed. But he was just mad because he fucked up and he needed a scape goat so he invented a problem. And then he tore into me for the whole fucking ride. And if I even fucking DARE to not smile and keep him happy it gets 1000000000x worse!!!!!! Holy fucking shit I want to kill myself. I can't fucking take this. When we got home he went "haha sorry I got mad, but think about it it could have been way worse!" and I'm fucking shaking and I reply "that doesn't make it okay" and he gets PISSED so I ran into my room and I never want to leave. fucking I can't stop crying. I can't live like this I don't want to fucking live anymore. God fucking damn it can't I just actually never go to a store with him again this ALWAYS fucking happens EVERY FUCKING TIME. I can't fucking breathe I feel like if I stop typing I'm going to faint because my heart won't fucking stop going a mile a minute. I fucking hate my life. I want to die so fucking bad. Why did I have to drop out of college. Why did I have to be fucking born into this family. I fucking want out. I don't want to live anymore. Fuck dude FUCK I'm so fucking mad. I hate this. It was a $30 grocery trip and it was so bad that it got me like this. I can't fucking stand it. fuck.

#cw: suicide mention

1 note · View note

yammburger · 11 months

Text

Hi, my name is Yami, I am writing this small blog to talk about my personal struggles in affording and dealing with college as a transgender female to male.

Personally, I found it to be a bit of a struggle that is worth fighting for. Right now I have my associates in biology which I worked tirelessly for with a GPA of 3.5, got my dental assisting certification for coronal polishing, x-ray certification, and sealant certification. I even got on the Dean's List and President's list because of my efforts. Now I am enrolled in a Dental Hygiene program which is definitely no small feat. However, this didn't come easy. I faced many discouraging challenges with gender dysphoria, PTSD, and severe depression that had me bedridden days. The first challenge I was met with in college was dealing with my gender identity. Even though college is meant for educating yourself and furthering your career, I was a young 20 year old that was still developing myself. I struggled to keep my grades up to strictly A's and B's when I had my own mental challenges to worry about. At first, I didn't know why I didn't feel comfortable or even right in my own skin. When I spoke in front of my classmates and said my name or referred to me as a woman, it felt like I was somebody else entirely. I was too scared to look into the mirror or even confront myself about this feeling. I pushed it to the side. I never had time to fully think about what was wrong with myself or even go to therapy. I kept my head down low and avoided everyone because of this difficulty. Reaching out was difficult and almost paralyzing so I preferred to struggle by myself than reach out. Due to this, I struggled in school and barely scraped by with what I had.

It wasn't till after I received my associate's degree and my Dental Assisting Certifications that I began my transition. It was like a light Switch. I became more confident, my body changes were fast, and I was astonished to hear a change in my voice after the first week of hormonal therapy. After a full year of transitioning, I sound almost exactly like my brother (sometimes like my dad when I shout) and became a bit of an extrovert. I found myself to be feisty and loud rather than meek and shy like I was before. I found my body adapted well. I even experienced muscular changes, and it became prominent to accommodate my fast-paced working environment.

However, I was still earning minimum wage. Saving up to go back to college while also keeping up with affording my hormonal therapy and bills was a struggle. Budgeting was hard, and being hit with unexpected emergencies which required money was even worse. I barely managed to save enough money to get my foot in the door of my dream career. Now I am starting the financial fight to get myself through the school and even afford gas, food, and continuing hormonal therapy with added inflated cost to make things even worse.

I am sure there are many others like myself facing the same troubles, but I urge you to reach out to any available source you can find and apply for scholarships and get financial help! People who say your 20s will be the best days of your life are lying. Your 20s are meant for growing pains. Everyone struggles to fight for their place in life so that way they can be financially secure. I want to graduate and be an example that people in the LGBTQ are just as capable as anybody else out there. We are deserving of a place in the world, especially in healthcare. Thank you for reading a piece of my struggle Hopefully by the end of next year, I can go back to this post and shout, "I MADE IT". I want to finally change out of my blue lab coat and proudly wear a white lab coat...

Below is a link for scholarships for transgender students. I recommend checking them out when you have time

#TransgenderFirst #scholarship #trans

1 note · View note

queerkittygotnotitty · 1 year

Text

I think one of the shittiest times in my life was when my ex dumped me and then kept gaslighting me to believe that the break-up was mutual even though I kept telling them that i don't want to break up. COVID was just beginning during this time and i had just failed an examination that made me take a gap year and i wasn't sure where i was going in life at that point. I can barely look at photos I took during 2020. I lost my nani to COVID in June 2020 which is still unbelievable at times. I still hope that we would go to her place and she'd be sitting there. I had a started talking to a queer person who abruptly ghosted me and i felt like a friend got lost. By this time i was still hoping that my ex would come back and she would just tell me stories of all the people she is talking to and i would feel so so so stupid being hooked to a person who has been dismissive of my feelings throughout our relationship. I remember this one time we were on call and i had finally gathered courage to call them out that our break-up wasn't mutual. I remember shocked they were and how it showed on their face. It just felt like how surprised they were that they were caught gaslighting. I got abuse throughout this relationship for vvv small things and then simply made to shut up by saying that you can't tell me how i should feel but my feelings never mattered. How i was supposed to be act like a top because i looked like a top, to know how to have sex, how to how i was supposed to know everything because i was a year older, how i was supposed to never make a mistake but more so how i was not allowed to explore my gender expression, how any idea of me talking about exploring pronouns was never met with encouragement but rather oh i know better about your life than you and you shouldn't do it. How i felt pressured to stay a certain way. It's was okay that we both didn't know i was neuro divergent but the fact that this person would not acknowledge my efforts to try to be punctual at all and rather be disappointed in me all the time. I remember their disappointed face and how troubling that feels in even my new relationship and my partner has to assure me that they are not keeping a count unlike ex who kept keeping count. After break-up they did vvv shitty break things, like we would take a break from each other. They said we will talk on alternate days. This person held so much power over me in terms that if they were doing an internship and earning money they told me i earn therefore i know and were so so so condescending at times and it kept feeling like hitting a wall. Like Bhai gaand marao apni. Tumse gaandu baandi maine jeewan mein nhi dekhi. The fact they wouldn't tell me anything that they were doing in life and i would only get to know what they were upto in life a few hours before even though they were doing these things for a few days. How was i any different that any person who would get to know about their life through Instagram stories? How was i special?

But yes, life kept getting more shitty and i kept meeting dismissive partners and i went up side down with father falling sick in 2021. While none of us recovered from this trauma, bade papa passed away suddenly due to heart attack in 2023. Like just doesn't feel like it's stopping with it's losses anytime soon. Only good things happening, having plate on food, a shelter, family under one roof, a non dismissive partner, a cat and a good therapist, getting into college, embracing masculinity, new pronouns, new names, new frens. I recently read a part of the body keeps a score and how trauma alters brain chemistry, and how you keep repeating patterns and it's no longer sheer willpower. Having a non dismissive partner has altered my brain, my migraine went away for real along with anti depressants. I am finally functioning and trauma from an asshole who called me crazy(a classic gaslighter response when they are being called out) which has scarred me is finally only 20% remaining. I don't wish anything good for this person honestly. Even when they left me by scarring they kept telling me how i should wish nice things for them because they wish nice things upon me like fuck you. Tum dusro ke jeewan mein haggo aur unko bolo ke mere baare mein aacha socho.

0 notes

folkloreguk · 3 years

Text

French Class [6]

A/N: You guys might want to whack out your love song playlist for this one…I cried writing this BYE I'm posting this from my grave!!

genre: optional bias (m) x reader (f), fwb, f2l?, college!au, fuckboy!bias, nerd!reader, ANGST, smut

words: ~ 3.8 k

✽series masterlist✽

taglist (lmk if u wanna be added!): @lovely-ateez, @runaway-fics, @mainexiii, @awfullytiredbuthealing, @erikyoong, @etherealuv, @staysuki, @justcuz-ican, @yeostars, @hyuckthangs, @teenloves, @mexious18-blog, @sunghoonied, @mailobjaeyoon

couldn’t tag: @chorizoek

You: can I come over? I kind of need u

H/N: you need me huh…you’re lucky I’m home alone

It always starts differently. Some other question, or a subtle message of telling him you’re bored, or a flat-out confession of being horny. The ending is always the same. You, naked in his bed. You just had to get there, and things were easy when you were already on his dorm’s doorstep.

The moment he had opened the door, you had fistfuls of his hair between your fingers and attacked his mouth in a feverish kiss. He made a noise between a laugh and surprise but reacted quickly. His lips parted right away, letting you in, and you tasted mint from the chewing gum he liked so much.

“Let me- at least- close the door,” he mumbled. “Jeez, what’s gotten into you today?”

You stepped aside and mirrored his grin. He was acting surprised, but the way he instantly locked your lips after he had shut the door told you he was enjoying this as much as you were. You ran your hands down his torso and along the side of his thighs. His happy hum only poured oil into the fire, and you saw no reason as to why you should have kept your clothes on any longer. In minutes, in the middle of heated kisses and clumsy chuckles, your clothes were discarded, and you were left in your underwear. You stumbled into his bedroom in a tangle of arms and legs and heads barely pulling apart.

“Will you tell me about the date you had today or are we skipping over that part?” he asked, as he pushed you down by the shoulders onto his bed. You groaned a little, not even knowing where to start.

“Didn’t go well, huh?” he asked. Only a few nights ago you had consoled him after his failed date, now the roles were reversed.

“That’s one way to put it,” you said. He was climbing on top of you now, and the weight of him between your thighs still did the same things to you it had done the first time. There was one of his random playlists playing quietly from the speakers, but you were both too occupied to even consider switching the music off. You weren’t in the mood for a chat, not when he was biting and sucking bruises into your chest, pushing aside your bra just enough. But you knew he wasn’t going to let it go this easily.

“Tell me about it or I won’t take one more piece of clothing off your body,” he threatened. You shot him an are-you-serious-look while he only blinked at you innocently, like he was awaiting your response.

“Fine,” you groaned. “But hurry, now.”

“That’s my girl,” he said, before unclasping your bra and throwing it to the other side of the room. “Go ahead, I expect a story.”

You had rolled your eyes at him, but when he sucked on your nipple all of a sudden, and his tongue flicked over the sensitive bud ever so perfectly, your eyes moved to the back of your head involuntarily. And, before he could complain, you started to retell today’s events.

“Alright. First of all, he acted all gentleman-y. Pulling back my chair at the restaurant, letting me have a look at the menu first, letting me order first, asking me if I was okay with our seats because they were in the sunshine, or whether he should have requested we get a different in the shade table, blah, blah, blah.”

With the lewd noises he was making, kissing your chest and fumbling with your breasts, you almost wondered whether he was paying attention to you at all.

“I’m waiting for the plot twist,” he chuckled. “If he had been this great, you wouldn’t be in my bed right now, would you?” He was now on his way to your lower regions. Your breaths came out shaky when he gripped your hips with familiar fingertips and placed a few kisses there, right above the material of your underwear. Nonetheless, you had to continue your story.

“Oh, it’s coming,” you said. “Because I suspect, the only reason he was acting that way was to compensate. For the fact that he was an hour late.”

He stifled a laugh, and you slapped his head playfully. “It’s not funny! I stood outside that restaurant on a busy street like an idiot for an hour. During exam season!”

“I wonder, if studying is so special to you- ,” he said. He tugged on your underwear, and you barely cared about his words when you were already imagining his mouth on your pussy. “Why aren’t you at home right now, doing just that?”

“Too frustrated,” you groaned, spreading your legs, practically inviting him in. “You don’t get it. That was only the beginning of the date. It gets worse.”

“Oh, damn,” he laughed, and you were going to slap him again. Harder, this time. But his tongue kitten-licked over your clit and you didn’t dare interrupt him further.

“First of all, he turned out to be boring. An economics major. And look, I’m not generalizing, I’ve met some cool economics majors. But when I said I never really understood the whole thing with inflation and deflation, I wasn’t asking for him to explain it to me. I know what it means, I just meant to say money is the root of all evil,” you said, little moans slipping inbetween your sentences. He laughed whilst sipping on your clit. You couldn’t be mad at his laughing anymore. In fact, at the sound of his chuckles, your own lips curled into a smile, too. God, he was so good with his tongue.

“But turns out he loved money. Like it was the sole reason he was doing anything. When he showed me his gold watch I almost yawned,” you continued.

“Dating a rich guy can have its upsides too, though,” he said, but you knew he was joking. He was running the tips of his fingers over your core, and you whimpered at how badly you wanted him to put them inside of you. You loved watching him, loved feeling his hair tickle the side of your thighs and having his free hand laying on top of your hipbone. The familiarity of it all, his little habits, made your heart heavy, so full of emotion, all of a sudden. But you had to snap out of it.

“Not this guy. He kept saying these lowkey sexist things I won’t repeat now. It’ll only make me mad again. He was one of those who thought money would buy him a girlfriend. And I was really trying to see the good in him…only there was none,” you said.

“Alright, I’m starting to understand why you needed some cheering up,” he said. “Good thing you’re at the right place. I know just the thing.”

At this, he slid his digits into you. You hummed and dropped your head into the plush pillow. Slowly, you exhaled, happy you finally got to relax after being so upset. But of course, he had to interrupt. Again.

“Did I say you could stop? Was that the end of the story?” he said. How did he expect you to form a coherent sentence? He fingered you gently, but the slowness of it all only drove you crazier. You felt every tiny sensation, every new bit of you he touched.

“No,” you sulked. “Fuck, it feels so good.”

“Go on, then,” he encouraged you, grinning because he was proud of your reaction he had caused.

“Fuck- okay. He was super shitty to the waiter. I’m talking about criticizing everything. This man had the audacity to complain about the food. I’m not a food critic, but I swear the food was amazing, there was nothing to fault at all,” you said, and then whined when he switched from licking your clit to sucking it between his teeth. You knew he was doing this on purpose. To make speaking harder for you.

“Oh my god, H/N. Wait, let me finish this. Not only was he horrible to the waiter in person, but he also made fun of the waiter’s appearance behind his back. And all along he expected me to find him funny. I used to think he had a sense of humor but not after today. Blech.”

“At least you got a free dinner?” he said, and without awaiting your answer, went back to work. Your head was spinning in pleasure, and you could only laugh sarcastically at his suggestion.

“Yeah. And after that train wreck of a date, he really thought he’d get to stick his tongue down my throat,” you said.

“Did he at least ask permission?” asked the boy between your legs.

“Mhm…but I told him I don’t do that on the first date,” you said. “Safe to say there won’t be another date, though.”

He looked up now, laughing more than before. You grinned, mainly because the sight of him was so cute. He folded his hands on your belly and put his face down onto your skin to giggle. In no way could you be upset or urge him to keep giving you head. In fact, you had forgotten about all of that for a while, as he seemed to enjoy your misfortune a little too wildly. You should have been hungry, eager to have the half-naked boy inside of you. Yet, you laughed at the way his breaths tickled your stomach and when he finally made eye contact, it was a wholly different sort of hunger which overcame you. Instead of the heat he usually made you feel, it was a comfortable warmth that was in your chest. It reminded you of a bonfire or of drinking your favorite hot drink on a cool autumn day.

“I want to watch you come,” he said, casually. “Were you close?”

You were so lost in his trustworthy, dreamy eyes, you almost forgot to reply. Quickly, you nodded and hummed.

“I would have already come, had you not pestered me to tell you all the details of my date,” you said. The way his cheeks beamed when he smiled made you feel as if your insides were turning into mush.

“I’m sorry. I’m your friend, aren’t I allowed to ask how your day went?” he asked.

“Of course you are,” you said. The word ‘friend’ echoed off every wall in your head until you wished you could have deleted it from the dictionary.

“I’ll make sure it feels extra good now,” he said, kissing your stomach. You shivered as you watched his gentle lips move lower, to your hips and the insides of your thighs. The touch felt like butterfly wings on your skin, and the tardiness of it made you impatient. When his tongue came in contact with your clit again, you sucked in a breath of surprise.

He tried to start slowly, but then you gripped his hair tightly, and carefully pushed him further. It was something you did often, a way to tell him you wanted more without having to use words. After all this time, he understood perfectly. Your clit was between his lips and his tongue flicked over the sensitive bundle of nerves with just the right amount of pleasure. It felt incredible, creating a funny sensation in the pit of your stomach. His fingers grazed over your slit until you were whimpering and shifting your hips, trying to make him hurry.

One of his digits slid into you easily, curling against your sweet spot, and it hit you only now how much you had missed him between your legs since he had stopped a few minutes ago. It made you feel as though you were suddenly overwhelmed with all of him, but you were willing to let the heat crash over you if it meant you could be close to him.

“Am I making it up to you now?” he asked as he pulled away merely for a breath. “I’ll turn your day into a good one after all.”

In a different tone his words would have sounded like the exact thing one would have expected to hear from a fuckboy in the bedroom. He could have boasted and bragged endlessly about how great he was with his tongue and fingers – he would have been right – but he didn’t mean it like that. You could tell from the uprightness and the authenticity in his voice that he really was doing his best because he wanted to make you feel better and turn your day around. Because you were special to him. Or so you desperately hoped.

Your legs wrapped around his shoulders as if you were trapping him between your thighs. But he was right there, and he would gladly stay for so much longer, and to say it puzzled you was an understatement. The boy who belonged to everybody, who was known by all of the campus, was treating you like you were royalty, and not the other way around. You moaned, his name inevitably falling from your lips. He added another finger and the slightest stretch made you lose your mind for a split second.

“That guy could have never made you feel this good, could he?” he suddenly asked. Your initial response was a helpless whine. You had been so close, and his talking had interrupted the otherworldly bliss for a moment.

“No, never,” you then whimpered shortly. ‘No’ was such a tiny word. It could barely encapsule what you truly meant to say. Which was that it would have never even gotten that far. That other guys couldn’t even have you at all. They didn’t get their turn to try and beat him. Not as of lately, at least. That you didn’t so much as dare to think about sleeping with other guys. That even before you had gone on the date, you had known it wouldn’t lead to anything. No guy could let you develop an interest on him in the same way the boy between your legs had done it. No other would be able to kidnap your brain like that. H/N was always there. Even when it was only you and your sex toys, you would automatically pretend it was him getting you off. You were so far gone that it was embarrassing how long it had taken you to admit it to yourself. But it was a colossal thing to confess to him, and you would never do that. Rejection would hurt a billion times more than whatever it was you two had now.

Your heart was racing as you closed your eyes. You had been so lost in thought, it was wondrous you hadn’t fallen yet. But you were right on the edge, making your breaths come out like puffs and a string of moans and swears sound from your lips. He too had stopped talking, concentrating on the task at hand, and judging by the way your back arched he was doing one hell of a good job.

“Oh my god- “ you whimpered. “I’m so close, H/N.”

This time he didn’t reply, which was for the best. Only a few seconds passed until you started to quiver and whine beneath him. You were going to outer space behind your eyelids as your high rushed through you. Your fingers curled and tightened in his locks while your legs clenched around his head. He was quick to pull your thighs apart again, still not being finished. For long seconds you swam in pleasure, with nothing on your mind but bursting stars. He was heaven, knowing precisely how far he could take it until you were too sensitive to take any more.

When you were at that point, he finally pulled away and looked up at your crumpled form. There was a lazy smile playing in the corner of your lips and your vision was hazy after having had your eyes closed for a while. He climbed up your body until his chest was against yours so he could really look at you.

“I get all of this without ever having been on a single date with you? I’m so lucky,” he said. You only smiled at him, at a loss for words. What were you to say? The two of you were clearly past the awkward dating stage already.

“I’m lucky you let me come over all the time,” you said. “I would have expected the campus fuckboy to be busier. To not have an empty spot in his bed every night.”

“Ah, shut up,” he said. “I’d rather have you here than a girl I don’t know at all. Look, I’m really tired so I don’t know how this will go…but can I?” He was on his knees, a tent visible in his boxers. With a questioning look, he was tugging them down his legs now.

“Of course,” you said. As you watched him roll on a condom, your ears perked up. Did that song have to come on shuffle just now? The coziest, most romantic love song you adored so much? You knew if you looked him in the eyes you’d be done for. But there wasn’t anywhere else to look when he settled between your legs and held up his weight with his forearms. His eyes were deep enough for you to get lost within a second. Distracting yourself was impossible. The one last thing you could do was to reach between the two of you and guide his length into you.

The song’s chorus came on, you looked at him once again, and suddenly you were all his. You didn’t need to tell him so. He thrust gently, almost carefully, like he had never done it with you. Your heart hammered against your ribcage so vivaciously, you wondered whether it had turned autonomous and was now trying to jump out of your body, onto his skin and through it, so it could nestle next to his own heart.

Neither of you spoke. Yet, there had never been so much chemistry, such a heavy amount of uncommunicated emotions between the two of you. You were ready to hang on his every word, should he decide to speak up. In your head rampaged a billion sentiments you needed him to know, but there was no option to express them adequately. Perhaps there were simply no words in the English language to declare your feelings for him.

Small whimpers and moans left your lips only for him to hear. Sometimes he moved a little quicker, gifting you with the most perfect sounds he could make. And to know you were the cause for it sent you into overdrive. His mouth was right above yours. If you lifted your head slightly, you could have kissed his sweet, sweet lips. But you were so afraid. What would he think? You had never kissed him during sex. Not softly, like you wanted it so terribly.

Even worse, you craved so much more than that. You wanted to pull him in, envelope his mouth in your own, crawl over the edge of his lips and reside in his chest for safety. Because that’s what he was. Comfort. Reassurance. Home. How foolish you had been, pretending this little fling would lead to nothing more. You really had told yourself this would work. No feelings. Just fun. You couldn’t deny having fun with him. He was the best company you had ever known, and he had become your most precious friend quickly. It was as if you had only been waiting for the silly, flirty boy to sit across from you in the library and make weak advances towards you.

The love song tuned out slowly, replaced by something more sensual and sinful. In accordance with the new background noise, he gripped your hips a little meaner and went faster. You barely noticed how his breathing had sped up as he was getting closer to his orgasm. A trance had overcome you, transfixing you on his godlike features and how much it hurt to know you couldn’t call him yours. In your head you were made for each other. They always said to date your best friend, didn’t they? You could try to turn back time, go back to your first meeting place, at the party. See if things would turn out different. But you knew they wouldn’t. As much as your fear tried to suppress it – you would take the same path again, stumbling head-first into his arms and letting him into your life like a crashing wave of laughter and heart-crushing conversations.

Now you reflected in despair, how he had taken your heart in a storm, without having to try too hard. And worst of all, you were okay with it. Your heart was secure with him, you thought. The feelings yearned to be spoken out loud, but you couldn’t bring yourself to do it.

“You feel so good,” he said. “Always, so fucking good.”

He snapped his hips against yours, burying his cock deep inside of you and all you could muster was a hum of agreement. This is what you got for keeping him at arms-length from the beginning. Wasn’t it you who had challenged him to be friends and only that? Perhaps you would be okay, so long as no one else called him theirs either. You could go on like this, letting him use you for sexual relief and making him laugh when he needed it. Gladly, you would take the pain of not being allowed to love him with your whole being if it meant you could see him whenever you wanted. Exposing those silly emotions would wreck your friendship and you wouldn’t let it happen.

He grunted and only then, when he lowered his head into the crook of your neck and moaned your name, you realized he was reaching his high. Softly, you cradled his head in your hands, as if it was the last time you could hold him like this. When he put his forehead against yours, he had his eyes closed and his chest was moving steadier than before.

“You’re the best,” he whispered. “Stay the night?”

Should you have gone home, and missed him all night? Would you have regretted saying no while you curled up in bed with no Cheshire-cat-grin-boy to hold? Or were you to remain in his bed, and pray you would survive the torture of not speaking your mind? His skin radiated the most wonderful warmth and you wanted to trace his lips with your eyes until you fell asleep. That’s how quickly it was decided.

“Okay,” you answered.

456 notes · View notes

raribella · 2 years

Text

Enchanted. | t.e

summary: reader thinks her college friend Theo is in love with someone else in his hometown, Madre Linda, after his unexpected reaction to Natalie's death, but ends up finding out otherwise.

pairing: theo engler (you) x fem!reader.

genre: angst, fluff.

involves: friends to lovers! college!au, bestfriend!reader, unrequited love, old-money!reader, cheating (not involving the reader), mentions of mourning, mentions of drinking and drugs, you s3 spoilers, suggestive ending.

word count: 1,9k

ᴘʟᴇᴀꜱᴇ, ᴅᴏɴ'ᴛ ʙᴇ ɪɴ ʟᴏᴠᴇ ᴡɪᴛʜ ꜱᴏᴍᴇᴏɴᴇ ᴇʟꜱᴇ

ᴘʟᴇᴀꜱᴇ, ᴅᴏɴ'ᴛ ʜᴀᴠᴇ ꜱᴏᴍᴇʙᴏᴅʏ ᴡᴀɪᴛɪɴɢ ᴏɴ ʏᴏᴜ

y/n already knew Theo was going to be acting weird after Natalie Engler was announced dead. She expected him to hide whatever sadness dealing with all of that situation put upon him, she believed he would just bottle up, which would imply she was ready for little snappy comebacks. It would surely take its toll on y/n herself, but she was ready, she wanted to help; to be here for him.

y/n loved Theo, since the first damned she stepped her feet on Stanford; she wouldn't jeopardize their relationship by giving him space, she knew he didn't function like that, he had too much space in between his mom's and whatever contact he'd be able to get with Matthew Engler. She barely could keep count anymore of how many summer weeks her family would agree to have Theo over, sleeping in one of their too many rooms — even if it was just to make young y/n comply to something, or stay over a bit more. — how many drunk or high nights were spent in the streets of Madre Linda with that little scooter or eating bakery goods with him while the sunroof of her car welcomed the San Francisco breeze. Whenever y/n could get him not to go to a bar, she'd take him to the beach the next day, having a picnic inside of a huge float in whatever shape.

The girl missed that, and she was ready to reminisce while getting into the unpredictable dark mass grief could get Theo into, she would get him the sweetest of cupcakes, ready for comfort food, she was even aware of how she would probably need to help him out at school, but when he arrived after two weeks, it didn't look like this would be needed at all.

Besides not really being able to avoid the drunken bar fights he would get into, or not being able to really grasp how was his focus in class while having so little amount of classes together, to y/n Theo seemed basically. . . fine?

He'd sheepishly take her to a corner in between hallways and tell her about how he ate the best cupcakes in Madre Linda just the night before, or knock on her dorm, late at night, drunk, telling her about another fun run at that damn scooter, just realizing how late it was in the middle of the story:

"Oh- oh, y/n, I'm so sorry! I didn't realize how late it was, I won't bother you with this, I. . . I had a lot of fun". He'd smile after scratching the back of his neck, basically puppy eyes looking down at her, still at the front door.

Frustration couldn't really fit the feeling in y/n's expression right now, Theo came back to the campus a couple weeks ago, never really a hundred percent present, but there, between a uber ride and another. Still, she herself wasn't yet invited nor hadn't she done any of the so fun things he apparently wanted to portrait like he was doing alone. He did stop her to tell all about it, so the end of the friendship was able to be momentarily discarded, but. . . Did he find himself a girlfriend in Madre Linda? her heart shrunk at the thought.

"No, babe, it's okay- uhm. . .", y/n embraced her sleeping gown along with her own body, protecting herself from the nightly breeze.

"Did you do it all alone?".

Theo arched his eyebrows, opening his mouth a couple of times before looking to his left — in the direction of his own room —, before turning back at his friend's direction so he could speak again.

"No, I-", another pause. "You see, y/n, I just threw all this information at you and. . . It's late, right? I bet you're tired", He laughed it out, starting to walk backwards. "I can tell you all about it in the morning if you want. Night, babe." He finally winked, making fun of the nickname, and then soon was out of view.

[...]

Waking up late because of Theo's little late visit last night was something y/n's already expected, but not really that much of a problem since there weren't many classes to take that morning. Her plans of not attending at all didn't change when she noticed the two hours old text on her phone, the contact name shining along with her locked screen, indicating she would now have to take a small trip to Madre Linda.

"Got an Uber, headed to ML.

see you later, xx"

Theo.

Getting on her silver car, it didn't take long for the girl to arrive in the quiet suburban living hell. No one was home when she rang the doorbell at the Engler's and then she couldn't really have any idea of where would the boy be, so y/n decided to head to the recently opened bakery she passed by when arriving in town.

A little ring of bells was heard as soon as y/n opened the door, making a really beautiful woman turn her head in her direction, welcoming her from inside a counter.

"Oh, hi! I've never seen you around", The lady, -seemingly owner of the place- sympathetically stated. "Welcome! I'm Love, how can I help you?" Love sounded as sweet as whatever mixture she was baking, and y/n felt a tiny urge to compliment her beautiful golden jewelry. As soon as she turned her eyes in the direction of the deliciously looking cupcakes on display, y/n saw someone arriving from what looked like a storage room, carrying what seemed to be some boxes of baking ingredients, but didn't care to look into who it was.

"Uhm... Are those red velvet?" at the sound of her voice, Theo abruptly looked up to confirm who it was, stumbling over his own feet and letting some boxes fall. He called out her name, but she couldn't recognize if the tone was surprise or a little bit of. . . doubt?

"Oh hi, Theo! I saw your text!", she decided to hint in case the doubt was correctly sensed and he was wondering what the hell she was doing in there. "decided to grab some cupcakes, they're looking really good! Oh I- I have no place to crash down for the night tho" — Of course, she said it expectantly, but it was true.

Theo hissed. "I'm gonna get home late, y/n," the boy looked back at Love, who was furrowing her brows at him herself, throwing him a glare. "You could head there tho, I'll sleep on the couch."

The girl let out a nervous chuckle, eyeing the two other people in the room. "Yeah, I'll. . . I'll probably do that, thank you. Can I get half a dozen?"

[...]

Y/n was worried. Any bars or parties Theo attended were nearing Stanford, so what the hell was he gonna be up to in the depths of Madre Linda?!

It's not like she wanted to look like a fucking stalker or anything, but he indeed was always telling her how he was doing the same things he used to do with her, just he let out — still making it pretty clear — that he was doing it without her, it wouldn't hut to see just who he was doing it with.

Except it would, but y/n would only find that out when it was too late, watching Theo and that bakery woman —— Love, damned ironic name, on that damned scooter, damn smiles bright as ever, but wasn't one of her golden rings a fucking wedding band earlier in the day? y/n felt sick, driving away and, surely mourning out to happier by Olivia Rodrigo or whatever heartbreak song, accepting the melancholy of the dark of the night but still at her car, not really feeling herself in the right of getting inside his house, not musing the strenght to do so.

It was when she saw Love dropping him off that the feeling changed. Y/n Y/l/n went absolutely mad, knocking on his door not even letting the — poor? — boy rest.

"What the hell- wha- y/n? I told you you should come crash here, you could've gotten here earlie- what time is it?" His tone was high, suggesting he was, indeed, surprised to see her there, if it was from her wided teary eyes or just from it being her, she had yet to know; the girl was hyperventilating at that point, furrowed brows, shaking her head no and gluping before she could say:

"Maybe you are really clueless, I'll give you that! But, you've been really leaving me out this days, okay? and- and if you aren't clueless, that makes everything worse, and that!. . .," her breathing pauses were really starting to sound like sobs at that moment, Theo was straddled, and getting more worried by the second, he accompanied her hand that was now pointing to his neighbours', she saw Love getting inside a few minutes earlier and might as well have assumed that it was her home ". . .you had no right to do that whatsoever."

He opened his mouth to speak, but stopped to doublecheck the direction he was pointing to, before whisper-yelling a "what?!", he knew what she was up to, and he couldn't really say that she was wrong, no. But seeing her distressed figure in that knitted vest, overlaid on top of that button down, freezing under that skirt, he needed her to understand and even believe him if he said she changed everything.

While he was constructing that whole thought — staring, basically checking y/n out — she was babbling inconsolably and the boy felt the impulse to reach to one of her shoulders. "No I- I didn't do what you think, you're in town and- y/n I need you to get inside, please. I wanna tell- show you something."

Before following him, y/n swallowed, again furrowing her brows in an attempt to conceal the feelings she just displayed at his front door and sniffling a bit. They arrived in his dimmed light bedroom, and she couldn't help noticing the bed was already made for her; a small knot forming on her throat.

Theo grabbed a box from inside his dresser and gestured with it to his bed, before offering it to her; y/n understood his sign, sitting down before he handed her the black box, and waiting for him sit close from her before opening it up.

The lid was now sitting on y/n's right side, Theo on her left, and the girl started fiddling with the content inside it, still sniffling a bit. She took ou countless pictures of the both of them, aswell as a few of herself alone, distracted; some of her long lost makeup products, a water bottle she used to carry all around a while ago and the stanford hoodie she had for her freshman year, gasping ever so softly before he started saying.

"I needed some affection, even if physical, after what happened, you know. . . Love and her husband are new in town I- I was afraid of coming to you and acting impulsively and then I got carried away but the thought of you, and then you actually coming here, I didn't do anything, I couldn't. I know this may be creepy I promise I'm not some sick stalker but. . . I really like you, y/n"

#you #you netflix #theo engler #you season 3 #joe goldberg #love quinn #natalie engler #theo engler x reader #theo engler imagine #theo engler x love quinn #fluff #angst #theo engler fluff #theo engler angst

221 notes · View notes