It physically pains me to watch the “office overflowing with flowers” scene. like what in the gay shenanigans simpest simp was that?

Sighhh

i hate the idea that being with the doctor made clara “lose her humanity”. she may have become more or less desensitized to death but she was still the kindhearted woman the doctor met in series 7. she always put others before herself, the only difference is the stakes got higher in series 8/9. the doctor didn’t “corrupt” her, he just made her believe she was invincible.

she convinces the doctor to “save the day” in every one of her series since she stopped him from destroying gallifrey in day of the doctor.

in series 8, she makes the doctor realize that earth is his home and it’s his duty to help protect it when it’s in danger. in series 9, clara stops the doctor from destroying the universe just to bring her back.

clara was never a selfish character. even when she lies to danny, she says it’s for *his* own good and i think she truly believes that - she just doesn’t realize she’s lying to herself too. much of series 8 is clara denying herself what she truly wants due to expectations she puts upon herself.

part of this is because she knows what to expect from a routine life, routine job, and a normal boyfriend but she doesn’t know what to expect when she’s with the doctor. it’s enticing like an addiction as clara puts it.

unlike other companions, clara is wholly aware of the risks of being with the doctor. she won’t let herself drop everything on a moments notice to fly off with him because she knows there’s a chance she won’t make it home for dinner. she tells him that they will only travel together on wednesdays. she doesn’t stand for the doctor putting her in danger without her knowledge. she doesn’t stand for the doctor treating her as if she’s second fiddle to him.

unlike other companions, clara knows that being with doctor can’t last forever.

one of clara’s greatest lines is, “nobody’s ever safe…tomorrow’s promised to no one doctor but i insist upon my past. i am entitled to it. it’s mine.”

and much of series 7/8 is clara putting distance between her and the doctor to keep herself safe - not just physically but emotionally too. falling in love with the doctor has the ability to wreck her. considering her reaction to eleven’s regeneration, it’s no wonder she put even more of distance between them in series 8.

she’s trying to move on and she gets herself a boyfriend. of course, twelve makes this difficult even though he’s doing his best to do the same thing she is. if they don’t put a label on what they feel for each other, they can just as easily pretend it isn’t there. clara can pretend that she isn’t hurting danny when she lies to him about where she’s been. the doctor can act like seeing clara with a new boyfriend doesn’t hurt him deeply.

the central conflict between clara and the doctor in series 8 is miscommunication not corruption. clara wants to believe that the doctor makes her worse just as the doctor does because that’s easier than admitting that they make each other better. it’s easier to think they were better off when inevitably one of them gets left behind.

their dynamic is interesting because of the role reversal.

for once, the doctor is the one forced to deny his feelings. the doctor has to wait (until wednesday) to see clara. the doctor forgets that this thing between them can’t last. the doctor is the one risking the universe for the person they love.

Honestly heartbroken(joking) that no one asked me for an unpopular opinion on Butters when I was doing that ask game.

It just goes to show I haven't done a good enough job of making it embarrassingly obvious who my favorite character is.

Anyways, unpopular opinion no one asked for, I headcanon that Butters has terrible fashion sense. Their outfits are mostly tanks, Hawaiian shirts, and pants/shorts that are too big, he dresses like an uncle, I'm sorry, maybe he owns a leather jacket but he wears pineapple pattern shirt under it

Any good outfit he owns is a gift.

Also he doesn't wear seasonally appropriate clothes unless someone makes him, he'd stand out in the snow in nothing but a tank and shorts and be like "gee fellas it sure is cold out-!" Like I wonder WHY-

Good Morning, Happy weekend! 🫶🏻 (thank god) I had a really emotionally charged week at work, and outside work and I just need to get some things off my chest.

I know that I am entitled to my space on here and to have a voice on my blog just like everyone else, but I can’t help but feel like things are never going to be the same for me on here.

When I first started posting content it was right around when the Last of Us was set to air and I saw more and more people were talking about Pedro Pascal and the show and then I quickly discovered there’s a whole Pedro Pascal fandom thriving on here. I started off as a directioner for pretty much a decade of my life and then I was a solo Harry Styles fan for awhile.

I had always wanted to write fanfiction, especially in highschool and college and never had the balls to do it. I got encouragement from multiple friends to just go for it so I wrote my first ever Joel Miller one-shot that quickly turned into a whole series and I was shocked at the positive feedback I received. Burning in a Hopeless Dream literally became my baby. Gwen and Joel’s story literally lived rent free in my head and all I looked forward to was coming on here after posting a new chapter, or a new idea and seeing everyone’s reactions 🥺

Being involved in this fandom, and writing fanfiction was becoming my escape from my work and personal stressors. I told my therapist about a month ago that I feel like I have been healing my inner child by writing what I want and what makes me happy. This truly has been an incredible experience for me and I am so grateful to all of you that are here and enjoy my content.

This week however, I have been so caught up in my feelings and emotions over what has happened and in turn, I have gotten incredibly down on myself over it. I can’t help but feel that there is this target on my back after everything that happened. (People are absolutely valid to no longer want to interact with me/support me after what happened last week) I guess I’m just disappointed to see how many people switched up on me right away. I know that I shouldn’t let this effect me because at the end of the day, this is the internet and I can’t set expectations that everyone will like me because that’s never going to happen.

I just feel like I now have to be careful what I say and what I post and who I interact with because I don’t want to upset anyone, or hurt anyone’s feelings or make them feel ashamed or unwelcomed on my blog.

I know that those I personally hurt, will probably never forgive me or look past what happened and that’s okay. It’s something that I’m going to have to live with.

I was nervy posting my new fic due to its darker theme and especially this last chapter and even though I highlighted all the necessary warnings, I still have this fear that someone is going to come on anon and spread some hate about it.

I know I need to be kinder to myself and try and not let these things rule my emotions and effect me for a long period of time but I just wanted to get my thoughts out there because I feel safe and comfortable enough to do so.

Thank you for reading, and take care of yourselves,

-Gi

P.S I’m not going to stop writing or anything I think I need to get back into the mindset where I’m writing for myself and I can’t let people on the internet actively effect my mood/emotions

Ik nobody cares, and celebrity gossip is usually frivolous to me, but-

MY GOD doja cat has gotten on my fkin nerves.  So many young musicians would KILL to have the success she’s had, and recently she’s spat all over it because it’s “too mainstream”

Her responses to hate on Instagram live are wildly unprofessional. I’m not saying that the hate she’s gotten is *warranted*, or she should just take it, absolutely not. 

All I’m saying is if she really truly “doesn’t care” what people think, there wouldn’t be clips upon clips of her tearing out some random person who said something stupid

If you want to go in a different direction in your music. THATS FINE. It’s expected as an artist to grow and not like their old stuff.

But WHYYYY is she completely alienating the people who have got her where she is? She owes EVERYTHING she has to them, and she shat all over that

If hate gets to her, THATS FINE. That’s normal, just talk it out in a private setting with someone you trust and MOVE ONNNN. 

No, She doesnt owe them anything, but it wouldn’t KILL her to be professional 

She’s not some niche SoundCloud rapper anymore. As a public figure, she *does* have a responsibility to not throw her weight over people who have much less power than her. There is an inherent power imbalance when a celebrity publicly addresses someone, which she doesn’t seem to be getting 

And this isn’t me saying that she deserves hate, or that she’s a bad person. Because she’s not, I don’t know her and I don’t know her life. This isn’t a “callout” or anything like that

All that I’m getting is if she doesn’t radically change the direction of her career *soon*, in a couple years she’s gonna be another “popular musician who descends into a mental breakdown” story. It’s genuinely disheartening to watch

If worst case scenario, her original fanbase completely deserts her and her new album flops. Then what?

people on twt and ig legitimately scare me, like fucking hell why do they always ALWAYS stick up for the abusers and the people hurting others and the people causing harm to entire communities

everyone know that matty healy is problematic, and not in a cute my blorbo has done bad things kind of way, he is racist, he is sexist, he is overall a piece of shit, he's been accused of sa

and yet people stick up for him

BUT

the moment he's seen at a woman's concert, they're all ending her

and taylor swift no less, whom the internet has beaten down and degraded and minimized FOR YEARS

and yall know im not even a taylor fan

but jfc it's disgusting how quickly supposed fans of her are dropping her and unstanning and putting the blame on her, when 1) they haven't even been seen together, he was at her concerts, how does that mean they're involved, 2) he has talked so much shit about her before, why would she consider even being with him, and 3) if it were the case tjat they Are together, shouldn't yall be worried about her? shouldn't her loving fans be worried about why she's hanging out with someone like him, about her safety, about her say in the matter

when white men do the grossest of shit they're dismissed as "boys being boys" and "well he's just joking around", but when a woman is supposedly involved with a man known for being rude it's suddenly on her everything he's ever done; men are never at fault are they?

EDIT: i have now been informed that it's been confirmed they are together, and that really changes everything :) like i told a friend, it's one thing to have people associate you with shitty people and another to consciously and willingly choose to be with a person who's said terrible things about women and black women specially :/ honestly good on yall for distancing yourselves from someone who seemingly doesn't seem to care about the damage their partner has done, thanks for the people who let me know <3

**Wednesday series: rambling about Wednesday and her romantic relationships**

(obviously contains spoilers)

• tyler is boring. the only time he was interesting was when he showed he's true "villain persona". also he pushed wednesday into liking him back cause he had delusional feelings for her.

((edit: also a thought that just occurred to me is that tyler probably just got closer to wednesday so he and tornhill could capture her and use her for the ritual))

• xavier is also boring (tho i do like him a little) and he and wednesday are better of as friends (plus i'm still mad at him for the way he treated bianca at the rave'n)

• yeah, it would be incredible if wednesday were to fall for enid. since the beginning she showed her nicer side only to her, she missed her when she left their room, she hugged her back and etc. (plus they had a lot of scenes foreshadowing morticia and gomez relationship, which is extremely cute). their relationship is also supported by the entire cast, which only adds to the point that wenclair might be canon in season 2, which i highly hope for, cause they have been queerbaiting us since before the show was aired.

» enid x ajax relationship was just as rushed as wednesday relationship with tyler. i totally believe enid's crush on him was some sort of comphet (you can look for some proof and actual "essays" here on Tumblr or other social medias). ajax never showed interest on enid until rave'n when he got jealous of her and lucas, but honestly they look like that couple of teenagers that just make out sometimes and that's it yk? (also their make out scene was kinda uncomfortable to watch)

★ netflix REALLY was stupid enough to push a romance in the series when it simple didn't even needed it. wednesday never showed any signs that she liked tyler neither xavier, nor anyone else in the show (yet).

★ sure, it would be amazing if she were to fall in love cause that would soften her a little and she wouldn't see the world in such a exaggerating depressing and murderous way. but they hurried up everything and that sucked... that was one of the major problems of the show.

★ anyways, if wednesday HAS to date someone i only hope they construct it right this time and don't rush things. her character NEVER was this lovey dovey type, and i just wish they don't fuck up everything and end up turning this series into another teen rom-com.

If being sober this month has taught me anything it is that I'm generally bored by most things. Like I went out tonight and I just couldn't get hyped over anything, and now I'm home and I just feel lonely.

the thing about me is like. i know im ace. but theres a part of me that thinks maybe if it keep trying or try new things with it ill like it because i feel like i should like it.

its like. its like a food where you like everything that goes into it but not the thing itself.

i should like this. maybe if i try it again or change it up i will like it. i ahould like it theres so much about it that i do like - but i dont like it.

hell its like tea. theres 100s of varieties surely i can find one i like? no?

can we please normalize not liking certain people/characters, please?

it's perfect NORMAL TO NOT LIKE SOMEONE!!

i don't care if they're sweet, or cool, or whatever character trait people admire

and i just don't like them!!

and i swear if i get one more anon hate message about this, i'm going five hargreeves on someone's ass-

 Okay, after several days of brainstorming and debating with myself, I have finally decided to emerge from The Lurking Pit and share this little (“little”) thing! This AU came about from my love of dysfunctional family tropes as well as my desire for everyone to live (honestly I mostly just wanted to daydream fanfic ideas without having to navigate canon’s minefield of problems, began wondering what an “ideal” situation would look like, and this spawned out of it)

The point of this was to, again, create an “ideal” situation for the gang, with potential for all kinds of Shenanigans™ and Drama™ alike while still keeping everyone as close to their canon selves as possible, as a bit of relief from all the angst :’) (I say “ideal situation,” but that doesn’t mean they haven’t still got issues galore. *cough*SUNNEEDSTHERAPY*cough*) (If, on the off chance anyone is inspired by this and/or wants to make something with this setting, please let me know! I’d LOVE to see it! :D)

I call it- One big UnHappy Family!

TL;DR Sun, Moon, Lunar, Earth, KC, Bloodmoon, and Solar Flare are all alive and well and somehow ended up as the world’s most Complicated™ family. Chaos ensues.

As for how they wound up that way? WELL. I’m gonna start rambling now, please bear with me

It starts with Sun shooting Bloodmoon. Sun didn’t fully know if he really wanted to kill Bloodmoon, was fighting internally to come to a decision one way or another and therefor wasn’t actually aiming when a moment of reflex kicked in, and the barrel went off. And he misses. Well... mostly. Bloodmoon takes a decent amount of the shot, and though it doesn’t kill them, they’re left severely damaged. It’s quite a confronting sight for Sun- while in canon there was nothing left of BM for Sun to really understand the weight of what he just did (at first, anyway), here he’s immediately confronted with another animatronic panicking and in pain as their nanomachines desperately try to rebuild them :’) Nothing like a bit of visual trauma to hit home that your actions have consequences, amirite? Moon investigates the barrel shot and sudden screaming (from both BM and Sun) to find... this. He’d probably have several things in mind to say to Sun about shooting BM, but he’d hold off for now. And thus begins one hell of a domino effect.

While fixing Bloodmoon, it becomes apparent the barrel shot corrupted some of their code. Nothing particularly bad, but oddly enough, it seems to have somehow also curbed their bloodlust. The lack of cravings leave the twins disoriented and kinda lost, but it’s also... almost a relief. Lunar takes advantage of this, introducing them to new things to occupy their time, and wow, who knew they could find entertainment in something other than homicide and appalling crimes against humanity? They’re still Bloodmoon, of course, they still have to be held back from killing people, but that’s not all they wanna do anymore. And food! Now that their bloodlust is out of the way food tastes so much better, there’s so many different flavours and textures and they gotta try everything and whoops, they’ve accidentally found themselves on the world’s weirdest redemption arc. (So, uh, thanks for shooting them after all, Sun...? I guess?)

Meanwhile KC, concerned over Bloodmoon’s wellbeing, convinces Moon to let him watch over them during their recovery. As the twins begin discovering new things that satisfy themselves, KC, trying to be Dad™, joins them. He’s never actually participated in anything that doesn’t involve murder, and much of these activities are uninteresting to him, but something about doing it with his sons... it actually... satisfies something in him, too. (None of them are particularly good at finding non-violent hobbies, mind you, but Lunar, Sun and Moon help out. Mostly to keep them occupied. They have no idea what’s going on, but they much prefer whatever the hell this is to evil plotting.) Eventually Moon relaxes a little when he realises KC intends to stay true to their deal, and occasionally switches off while KC’s out rather than watching him like a hawk. This leads to KC exploring on his own and running into Glamrock Freddy. He panics a little and pretends to be Moon. A parallel of their canon talk happens and oh would you look at that, KC’s accidentally Dad-ed his way into a redemption arc of his own! (No dead Bloodmoon means Sun doesn’t McFreaking Lose It, which means Lunar doesn’t move out and get killed, and also means the magic circle isn’t destroyed, which means Moon doesn’t get stuck in his head and get his memories wiped! :D Huzzah!) (Sun is still in desperate need of therapy though)

Eclipse is, of course, rather indignant at this turn of events. He never like the Blood Twins or KC, but seriously? Just like that?! It’s almost insulting. Not to mention it screws up his plan (not that he’d had a chance to flesh out said plan yet anyway). He continues regardless, taking over Solar Flare’s body to... do something. I’ll admit, I haven’t exactly figured out what his new course of action would be. Regardless, he ends up making his own body and ditches Solar Flare without a second thought. Solar Flare, alone and deeply disturbed over having their body hijacked so easily, is at a loss for what to do when they stumble upon Earth! Or more accurately, she stumbles upon them. She comforts them and they go with her to the Daycare. (I also don’t know if Earth would have already joined the DCA crew or if she just shows up fashionably late with Starbucks Solar Flare. Both are funny; either she shows up as a stranger with another stranger like “yes hello I’m your new sister, also I decided to bring this vaguely traumatised stranger along with me, hope you don’t mind :)” or she goes for a walk and comes back with this stranger like “can we keep them? *puppy eyes*”) Thus, Solar Flare joins the family!

Honestly... despite everyone else getting redeemed/joining the family, I think it’s funniest if Eclipse stays a bad guy. Everyone else is learning about themselves and growing as individuals/family, meanwhile Eclipse is over there being a stubborn, petty, lonely bastard and refusing to acknowledge that the reason he is miserable everywhere he goes is because every time he goes somewhere, he is there. Also he creates the conflict needed for further plot to happen. Also also I don’t think he’d take the option of redemption if it was handed to him on a silver platter accompanied by a ten-page essay on why it’s the best choice for everyone, especially him. (But who knows! I guess it is possible, it would just be a lot of work. He’d have to really want to be better and put the work in. Even then, I imagine he’d probably end up going his own way. It’d be for the best after all the trauma he’s inflicted.)

The FUNNIEST pat of all of this is when Glamrock Freddy visits the Daycare to talk to Sun and Moon about something only to see Sun yelling and chasing Bloodmoon, who’s knocking over and destroying EVERYTHING, Lunar running after them playing the Benny Hill theme, Solar Flare robotically restacking the barrels one pile at a time (seemingly oblivious to the fact that Bloodmoon knocks them over again as soon as they turn their back, creating an endless cycle they don’t seem to question), Earth calling out for everyone to please not hurt themselves, and Moon just... sitting there, rubbing his temples. “... Hey Freddy,” Moon says, not looking up. “... What the heck is going on?” “Family bonding.” “Family- where the heck did all these people even come from?!” “It’s a long story.”

If you’ve read all this, thank you so much for hearing me out <3 I’ll admit, most of my thought processes behind this boil down to “I just think it’s neat” and “because I think it’s funny”. This is supposed to be just for fun, after all. Please tell me what you think! There’s SO MUCH more to this, from evolving family dynamics to specific character development and even Monty, this post is all just the basic set-up of how the gang got to where they are. I have SO MANY more thoughts about this setting, it’s a disaster and a half and I’d love to discuss it please give me an excuse to ramble more 

Saw a post about how the pandemic kicked off just 3 years ago and what a crazy year it was and I was like…yeah it really was fucking crazy for us all, me included but also life has never stopped being crazy, even before 2020. I think 2019 was the harbinger, my personal year of the weird if you will, with ominous portents like my first job being burned to the ground and my second one being sold (the building itself itself that is) with no warning to a local university and I’ve been experiencing full circle moments with that in the sense that I got another job this year and the people who work for the university are my customers and I just silently stare at them because they have no idea their bosses set the wheel in motion to upend my life financially just before everything shut down and I want to say hey do you want to hear a funny story but I don’t. I’ve had so many crazy adventures and people coming in and out of my life and back again and I’ve been places I only dreamed about and still dream of returning to, had crazy experiences like breaking down in Bliss Idaho and being driven across state lines by the town’s only mechanic, Mike, a stranger with one eye and that sounds like the plot for a murder movie but I made it to the airport alive and drove my rental through Yellowstone national fucking park..like…what the fuck. Some real ominous and simultaneously serendipitous curse hangs over my life I stg.

Musings

I'm thinking about the worldbuilding for my Poptropica Glitch idea and while a teleporter may be a good start to save them...

I have it written that Glitches aren't really damaged from being trapped in the Code, BUT they appear distorted in reality (missing eyes, too many mouths, etc). So like, they can function normally but all Marissa sees is a distorted person.

What if it backfires. What if the teleporter messes up and brings a Glitch back without any of his features.

one of the most infuriating things about becoming an adult is when you realize that it actually is 10x easier to solve problems by making a phone call vs literally any other communication method

The manga industry, especially JUMP, needs to hurry up and do away with weekly scheduling for mangaka. There needs to better regulations put into place for their health and safety because this is pitiful. Two weeks - monthly updates should’ve already been the standard for the manga industry at this point. These money grabbers will only continue to put the lives of these artists at stake for the sake of capitalism unless some serious changes are implemented.

you know what boils my blood.

over the last 2 weeks, i've seen countless patients walk into my urgent care center, symptomatic for so many things, refusing to get tested for covid and flu, citing that they don't want to knowingly bring it to their holiday tables. i had a patient tell me, verbatim, "i don't want to test for covid, because i don't want to be the asshole who brings it on a plane."

i understand that - i understand that holidays are times where people look forward to meeting loved ones that they might only see once a year, or where they get a break from the hectic back and forth of their lives.

but here's the thing - whether they get tested or not, they will bring whatever they have to their holiday tables. it's pure recklessness to know that you're sick, and walk into someone else's house spreading the disease.

today, january 2, i saw 91 patients, many of them who have tested positive for covid and flu. many of these patients are the same ones who didn't want testing 3 days ago, until their events were over, and now, they will have to reach out to everyone they know to let them know that they were positive because they were showing symptoms well before their event.

the next week or two? we're going to see many, many more, all people with symptoms that started around christmas. these are the only two viruses we test for rapidly in our office, but they are potent and can be fatal in many people.

so here's why i wrote this post, and maybe it's a little late, but - if you care about your loved ones, please get tested if you know you're sick. it doesn't have to be at a clinic if you don't want it to, because the over-the-counter tests work just fine too (if you test within 5-7 days of symptom onset). just...please don't try to run from the knowledge that you might have covid, because immunocompromised people, elderly people, people with co-morbidities like asthma, pregnancy, diabetes, etc...many of them may not recover. and they may not be sitting at your holiday table in the future because of it.