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etherealkissed88 · 2 months

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you are always embodying a version of you 🍭

“ive been feeling stuck for 2 years” -> embodying that state

“its not gonna manifest” -> embodying that state

“she still didnt text me back” -> embodying that state

when you assume its nothing is changing, you are simply embodying that version of you who believes that. you are always embodying a version of you out of the infinite versions of you that already exist.

there is no “original” state or “realer” state. even if the state is expressed in the imaginary 3d, it is not “realer” than any other state. we know the 3d is neutral and doesnt mean anything so giving value to something in the 3d makes no sense.

remember that you are the self that occupies states. these states mean nothing without you. states are useless bubbles without you embodying/occupying it. even when you embody them they are nothing bc you always assign meaning.

next time you feel like youre “stuck”, know its all just a state and theres nothing to be afraid of. states are below you, states need you, you (self) dont need states. you are beyond these “im stuck” states. there is no “struggle,” there is only states being embodied. you can simply embody another state (regardless of the 3d). be the desired version of you.

when you feel stuck:

know its only a state, you are always embodying a state (so theres nothing to be afraid of bc its just a state) and identify the state you are currently embodying that doesnt serve you

embody a different, better state via deciding or techniques + fulfill

its so simple. it seems harder because you think what the human self is experiencing in the 3d is the “real” thing when in reality, none of it is real (bc everything is neutral) and you choose what to experience and you are instantly any version if you that you choose.

the funny thing is that while you search for answers “outside” of you, the solution is literally the version of you you are embodying. you are the problem and solution. you see how you always have full control even when you dont realize it? something that helps me is: if i was this desired version of me, would i care about (blah blah)? that helps me embody a more beneficial state.

once you embody a version of you, its done. its already yours. creation is finished yes? remember how i said there are always infinite versions of you? exactly. you arent creating anything, you are only being. so once you become a version of you, everything changes and that is who you are. there is nothing else to do but know its done bc it is. stop falling into the “im stuck” loop and know that is only what youre embodying.

be sexy and change states 💋🍫

kisses, jani ☆

#etherealkissed🎀#law of assumption #loa blog #manifesting #loassumption #neville goddard #edward art #etherealkissed #imagination creates reality #loa states #change self #change states

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revelmaven · 1 year

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every time my father says he wants to talk to me i know im preparing for at least an hour and a half of hearing him get progressively angrier and answering the same three questions until he can find some way to make my life decisions his idea. and usually it'll end with my mother getting exhausted and asking him to calm down or make his point, at which point he throws a huge tantrum and says he'll never speak again. ive lost count of the amount of times this month he's determined he'll never offer an opinion again

#he got really offended whrn i told him he did not need to be afraid of this decision im currently about to make #he spat that i can resent him all i want but he'll never stop 'loving' me which means he'll always react like this #and is entitled to question everything i do because he's my father and it's his job #this maybe sounds petty ok 'uwu my dad questions me i hate him so much'#it isnt that simple #it's the fact that if he finds out ive done anything that could invovle my future and leaving his house #he interrogates me with increasing aggression until i either apologise and promise not to do anything without him #or agree that everything i do is his idea and i want him to make all my decisions for me #and for everyone (correctly) who's gonna say thats abuse and i need to gtfo asap #thats exactly what tonights tirade was #im getting promoted and am gonna be making another few hundred $$$ a week so i might actually be able to get away #trust me im doing everything i ever can to get out #but like i tried to explain to him - while i dont necessarily want to do this business forever im not Against doing it #and it's my best option rn until something more aligned with my ideal career is available to me #fuck whatever #i feel gross and trapped #mum cut him off after he'd derailed for seven minutes to just talk about how much he hates his boss #which had not been connected to his previous point #and thst sent him into a tantrum #and i do see how it was upsetting to be spoken to that way - i also dont care bc he needed to have shut up half an hour before #i told her i was grateful actually and i didnt need her to come timidly apologise for ruining my night like he'd made her do to him #i fucking hate it here and i hate him #i just want to be treated like im capable of thinking for myself #trauma files #vent

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firesnap · 2 months

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i have a genuine question. i promise i am not at all trying to defend him. ive dropped him entirely, literally deleted everything i had of him and unliked his songs.

ive just been wondering like considering that he has been in therapy, and also considering how if he does take a year off and then comes back, why cant it be redeemable? like cant people change? cant we give them second chances? he is 27. is he just doomed to be an abuser forever?

its just scary and im asking as like a younger person who is in my very early 20s. i know ive made mistakes. i know ive not been a good partner or friend sometimes. (and yes i was also abusive to a past partner...im not proud of it and ive learned from it. i have never ever touched anyone in that way after that. it took awhile but my current relationship isnt toxic and i would never hurt anyone or hit them again yknow?) and it scares me that people keep insinuating that he is irredeemable. like cant abusers change and become better? dont they get second chances? if shelby has grown and healed in 10 months wouldn't it be fair to say the same for wilbur?

im just genuinely asking because based on everything i believe you are older than me and im looking for guidance and just...idk im scared. growing up on the internet has made me so scared of making mistakes and doing anything wrong because when it happens to others i look up to, its always treated as something they'll never be able to change or improve. makes me feel like imma just be a horrible person forever because i made mistakes in the past.

This is a really complicated question that multiple answers can validly fit.

I don't think, personally, that anyone is irredeemable. I think everyone is on a journey of forgiveness and some of us may need more grace than others.

This is tw// abuse even more than the current topic, but my mom was incredibly abusive. We lived in a very rural area and she had a lot of undiagnosed problems and trauma of her own that created a pressure pot of issues. After I was born, she suffered through full on post-partum psychosis that nearly ended about as well as that sentence implies it could have. She was incredibly violent, controlling, and cruel for years. My sister went no-contact with her the second she turned 18. A significant event occurred that eventually spurned her into seeking real treatment that lasted for years. It's still ongoing.

My sister is also still no contact and I support her decision 100%. Those are her wounds and what she needed to do to get peace should be respected. I decided I wanted a relationship with the person who came out of all that work and, even then, it's been hard. I don't know if she's redeemed herself, and my god do we still have bumps in the road, but I support her for trying.

With Wilbur, how he responds to this is going to really impact a lot of things. I mean, I know no matter how he responds I won't be going on whatever journey of redemption and healing he has to go through. I'm tired and I feel hurt enough. I would think, if he wanted to show he was sincere, admitting what happened would be a great sense of closure for a lot of people who put time and energy and faith into this guy for years.

Not every person that causes harm is inherently evil, but there has to be some kind of knowledge that you're aware of the harm you've caused. No one is stuck as anything forever, life is constantly moving, and most people aren't saying his life is just over. You can work on yourself. You can change. And I'm saying that specifically to you, anonymous.

(Saying this, actually, there ARE people who would argue once you've done x you're beyond redemption based entirely on their life experiences as a victim, personal histories and many other factors. Kinda like my sister, that's their choice. And you have to accept that sometimes you fuck up so badly that you will permanently lose some people from your life. But your life isn't over.)

But I do think, regardless of what he says or does about this, his time of controlling a large platform is at an end. He can still do a lot of things in his life after he works on himself -- editing, song producing, directing, writing or whatever -- but being in charge of a large impressionable audience that could enable more destructive behaviors is just not it.

#the current state of things

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janmisali · 1 year

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been a while since I've done this but check out this comment. what are they talking about (transcription under the cut)

/hj is simple. It just means when you see it, youre supposed to go, "ha". Not "ha, ha, ha" like fully laughing, or " " like its not funny, just "ha". Thats all it means. /j means you go "ha, ha, ha" and /s means dont get irritated because they are not serious. You dont have to laugh but you dont have to cry either. No tone indicator is created for you to go back to the text to figure out what the tone indicator means, because most people will never do that, hence the meaning is created by the response and not whats inside the text. Thats natural language for you. Created by people doing illogocal stuff, not logic. Technically it is logical though. Its just not using the logic you would assume it to. You cant just assume that. You have to take everything that can affect the creation of language into account.

The tone indicator is useful when you want some1 to react by something. There are these awkward moments when you in a group (irl) tell a joke and every1 half laughs, but one guy goes fully laughing and its weird. This tone indicator is so that every1 knows to half laugh so that people can know that online as well. Communicating just isnt created like a certain word in a certain place or some word combination always should create a defined response. Tone indicators just try to control that response, which is why they exist. Its not complicated.

And yes its too stupid imo, ive given up on real language a long time ago, created languages are much more interesting to me at least.

Let me just go off the track completely and also super personal and define autism, because why not. Ive tried to do this before but i feel like now ive found the tools to do it better. Autistic people are people who are sensitive to information. Any kind of information, any kind of sensitive. Any kind of sensitive includes being non-sensitive and sensitivity fluctuations. Any kind of information can be sound, visual information like light or subjective information like text and it includes information fluctions. That is why autistic people can be very smart. That is also why they can be very dumb. Or both at the same time.

For example, here you show extreme intelligence for making an 18-minute video about language that doesnt make sense by logic, which it doesnt, which is a pretty important realization, but you also show a little of assuming your logic is the best which it isnt. Your logic is unaware of how the logic that goes into creating that language we all speak. It is the average human that creates language, because natural language is the most accessible to the average human. And so you have to think how does/would the average human react. The average human will laugh when they see /hj. They need no reasoning, thus reasoning is not needed in the language. I could literally say a comment of "hi. /hj" and for the average 100 iq person, that is a good joke or not, and it needs no reason to be or not be. Thats why comedy is so hard because for the average person it needs no reason to be funny, hence it either is or isnt. The best laughs are the laughs that have no reason, because thats when your instincts take over and make you feel good about yourself.

We obviously know autism with lights and sound is pretty much chronic. But i wonder, how chronic are they with logic. Because you can certainly be less sensitive to certain kinds of logic and more sensitive towards other kinds, it just isnt generally included in autism since its pretty common in neurotypical people too. I would go as far and say that autism was created from people doing irrational things with logic, and surviving better because they bamboozeled the people that used logic, thus the genes caught on and were like, "bro, were currently just taking in information, and treating it like its random, and we survive better, how about we cut the middleman and just interpret the information randomly straight away since it seems to work so well". I could be wrong but if its true that there were no autistic people before or there arent autistic animals in any other group of animals, that could be the reason why - our ability to think better caused us to also be able to get confused by randomness, thus people acting randomly can cause people to get confused and thus have the randomly acting people survive better and thus evolution of genes can catch on to the way of acting and make it genetical.

#jan misali #youtube comments #autism

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mika-no-sekai-blog · 7 months

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With the last breath IV

Word count: 1500+

Warnings: mentions of eating disorder

Part III || Part V

This week was a real rollercoaster full of bad luck. But since this chapter is ready I can post it. I'm working on the next one and I'd love to cut it somewhere to make it into two chapters, but can't find good place so it may come out as one really long one.

I'm sorry for any mistakes. English isn't my first language 😅

Several days passed since you woke up in Azriel's bed. You hid the dress soaked in his scent to the bottom of the wardrobe, often sitting down and burying face into the fabric. His scent helped you calm down and scare away bad dreams.

Since that day quite a lot had changed.

At first you thought you were crazy. Things were moving around or suddenly appearing in front of you. Repeatedly you saw movement out of the corner of your eye, but when you turned around, nobody was there. It took you some time to figure it out. But once you found out there were Azriel's shadows following you around, it didn't scare you anymore. They were quite handy especially when you needed to find something.

As it made you incredibly happy that he cared enough to keep an eye on you, it was also a reminder of the biggest mistake you'd ever done, making you feel down and your stomach twist at times.

The shadows followed you literally everywhere which was sometimes really uncomfortable. You were sure they informed him about everything you did on that particular day, but how much exactly did they tell him? It was nerve wrenching. You could only hope they would keep sensitive information to themselves.

Another big change was the shadowsinger himself. As soon as you entered the library he was there. No matter where you worked or how many times you had to move to another floor during the day, you always spotted him somewhere nearby reading book or doing some paperwork.

The first few days it made you nervous and you couldn't really concentrate on work. Even if you tried you wouldn't be able to count how many times you caught yourself staring at him, admiring his beautiful face, strong body, big hands.. and daydreaming. Then somehow you got used to his silent presence. It always made your day seeing him there, making you grin even while aligning and dusting the books.

And that wasn't everything. He often came to you to talk with you. At those moments your heart always started to beat much faster, mouth went dry and your palms started to sweat. It didn't give much sense because after the decades you could hardly call each other acquaintance, strangers more likely, but it was happening. You weren't in position to ask why suddenly he changed his mind so radically, nor you didn't even want to complain. You were happy for this change, giving you a faint hope that maybe.. someday.. you could be at least friends.

When it happened for the first time, you were so shocked you turned red like tomato to the roots of the hair and ran away. Next time you were mentally ready and managed to stutter few words. But you weren't the only one struggling. Azriel seemed to be just as nervous as you. Nevertheless he kept coming even several times a day for word or two. After few days both of you got used to it and were able to talk normally.

First, he would talk to you just about such ordinary things like weather or ask about your wellbeing, but soon enough he started to ask about your current life, past or likes and dislikes.

Lately you spent a lot of time discussing about the books you were reading. You were surprised to find out he read novels and often the ones you liked. He even gave you some recommendations for interesting ones.

You got up early as every morning and prepared for the day. Before leaving the room you checked out the weather and time. 'Should be okay now,' you thought to yourself and headed to the kitchen to make breakfast with few shadows at your heels.

Of course you could eat with other priestesses at dining hall the meal House served you, but there was something relaxing about making your own meal. That's why you always used inner circle's kitchen. But it wasn't the only reason. You didn't like people watching or commenting on how much you put on your plate. You even minded being watched while eating.

During the years living with Mor and Illyrian males here, you figured out their morning routines and knew when no one would be in the kitchen.

What a shock it was when you found out that the kitchen always empty at this time, was occupied. By Azriel!

He was standing behind the kitchen island putting scrambled eggs on the plate. There were already several other plates with toasts, bacon, cut fruits and vegetables set on the table.

He hadn't notice you yet, so there was still chance to get away and let him have his breakfast. You turned around, planing to try your luck later, but the shadows had an idea of their own. They slowly floated around you towards their master.

"Good morning," Azriel said while washing the pan in the sink, back turned to you. His voice was still raspy and that sound made your heart stutter and the heat spread in your lower belly.

"Good morning," you answered, taking a step into the kitchen from you hideaway. You frowned at traitorous shadows, but they just danced around calling you closer. "I'm sorry. I don't want to disturb you. I'll go." You wanted to leave quickly, but he stopped you.

"Would you join me for breakfast?" back still turned to you, he asked. Eyes widening you shifted nervously on your feet. It was too tempting, but it would be just the two of you. You really didn't want to have his full attention while eating. You bit your lower lip, fighting with yourself.

You looked at his strong form still washing already clean pan. You could read the tension in his posture, but you weren't sure what caused it. In the end the heart won the fight and you accepted the invitation. His tense shoulders visibly relaxed.

Azriel put the pan away and took two plates and glasses. As he turned to the table his lightly flushed cheeks came into view. With shiny eyes of hazel colour with golden flecks he smiled shyly at you which you returned. This side of him was new to you and you were more than eager to learn more. You'd never seen him behave like this with other females. A small flame of hope lit up in your chest.

Your heart was beating faster with each step you took towards the table. You halted before sitting down, examining food on plates. Suddenly you became nauseous. The food looked yummy and smelled amazing, but there was too much. Much more than two people could possibly eat.

"Is something wrong?" Azriel asked noticing your pale face. His eyes slightly narrowed.

"It looks amazing," you tried to smile. "Is Cassian coming too?"

"He's training with priestesses right now," Azriel tilted his head to the side with unreadable expression, few strands of dark hair falling into his eyes. "Do you want him to come?"

"No," you said quickly. "It's just.. there's so much food.." You felt the heat burning your cheeks.

"It should be enough for two of us," he said, a smirk tugged corners of his mouth upward. You had nothing to say to that, so you just swallowed hard and sat down. Azriel handed you plate and started filling his own. Following his example you took a piece of bacon and a bit of scrambled eggs.

"Would you like some freshly baked bread? It's from that new bakery on the bank of Sidra that opened last week," Azriel offered you. With nervous smirk you took small piece.

You started to eat. Taking the first bite of eggs you blinked in surprise, nervousness forgotten for awhile.

"It's so delicious. I didn't know you can cook so good,"you looked at him grinning. He blushed, but grinned too.

"I'm glad if you like it."

"I love it." You took another bite and then another. While you were eating Azriel kept offering you different goodies he'd prepared until you tried at least a piece of everything on the table. By the time you finished you were so full you thought you were going to burst. It was the most delicious food you'd ever eaten, but you were sure you won't be able to eat anything till next morning.

Azriel finished last bits and together you cleaned the table and washed dishes.

"Thank you for amazing meal," you said as you put last plate to its place.

"Thank you for keeping me company," he leaned against the counter putting his hands into the pockets of trousers. "Are you going to the library?"

"No, it's still too early. I thought I would return to my room and read for awhile."

"I see." His smile faded for a second, but it was back in a blink of eye. "So.. I guess I'll see you later."

With that you returned to your room thinking about his unusual behaviour and about the huge change that happened since he saved you. Even though it was still new to you and hard to believe, you liked it and hoped it's real. With every second you spent with him your heart swelled with love and you fell harder for him.

#azriel fanfic #azriel x reader #azriel shadowsinger #azriel acotar #azriel spymaster #azriel x you #azriel #acotar fanfiction #acotar

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rishiguro · 9 months

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40; STAGE IV

warnings: passive suicidal ideation, talks about death

“you look tired” iwaizumi sat down next to you, giving you a sly smile as he tried to conceal his worries.

it was true after all, you didn’t look particularly well. you looked pale, with prominent eye bags and exhausted eyes.

“gee, thanks” you rolled your eyes at him, turning your body away as you faked annoyance. “can’t think of anything better to hear from my boyfriend”

he chuckled, leaning forward to kiss your cheek. “sorry”

you reached out for his hand, looking down as you played with his fingers — something you have done so often already, something so familiar and comforting. taking a deep breath you looked back at him. “look hajime, there’s something i really need to tell you but i have absolutely no idea how to,” you started slowly, still trying to sort your thoughts and come up with a plan of action.

did you really have to tell him?

well, you wanted to. he deserved to know after all. he would be there for you. things wouldn’t change.

he loved you.

but would he still love you if he knew?

iwaizumi raised his eyebrows. “is it bad?”

you only nodded slowly, teeth digging into your lower lip.

“like ‘i-offed-someone’ type of bad?”

a chuckle escaped you. “why do you always go straight to murder? what if it was just some arson or something?” you asked him, trying to fake a cheerful tone.

your boyfriend didn’t miss the show you were trying to put on and countered with a soft smile on his lips. he intertwined his fingers with yours, squeezing your hand. “guess it won’t be so bad then”

you fell silent, your throat dry as you still looked for the right words.

how could you even deliver these news? ‘hey, by the way, everything is worse and i can’t do shit about it because at this point it’s inevitable and i’m probably going to be dead in the next five years max’? sure, great idea.

your fingers tightened around his hand.

“how bad is it?”

you licked your lips, looking around the room before staring down at your intertwined hands. your knuckles were already becoming white from how hard you were clenching them. around his hand. “i feel like our current location answers the question perfectly,” you said slowly, still trying to somehow avoid giving a proper answer.

“pneumonia?” he asked, eyes not leaving you.

after you didn’t react, he continued. “another flare up?” he asked again and still didn’t receive any reaction from you. believing that silence was also a way to answer the question, he took a deep breath, trying to ignore the worried thoughts racing through his mind. “okay, we can manage this, i’m sure it’ll all be fine”

“hajime—“ you tried again, yet your boyfriend couldn’t hear you, too invested in his own imagination.

“i mean, that’s what you’re here for. i’m sure everything will calm down soon—“ he rambled, his eyes by now downcast and staring at the floor. he retracted his hands, using them to underline his words, desperately trying to get some sort of affirmative reaction out of you.

“baby”

but he didn’t get it.

“—and then you can take it slow and i’ll be right there too” he tried to sound optimistic. you didn’t know if he tried to convince you or himself with the fake smile on his lips. even if you tried, you couldn’t overlook his worried expression. he wasn’t a particularly good actor. “you’ll be as good as new”

he didn’t miss it when you refused to reply to him, silence settling over the both of you as you played with your hands, not even looking at him. he swallowed down the lump in his throat, reaching out to put his hand over yours again. “right?”

you pressed your lips to a thin line.

“it’s, uh” yet before you could continue, you felt your entire body hunch over while you were coughing, a metallic taste filling your mouth. “tissue” you managed to choke out, hand waving in the direction of the box next to you.

you spat out the blood, crumpling up the tissue in your fist, putting your other hand on your now aching head. “fuck, this shit is so gross,” you wheezed, still looking down on the bedsheets.

before you knew it iwaizumi’s hand wrapped itself carefully around yours, his thumb caressing the back of it. “love?“

his jaw clenched as he looked over at you, seeing your drained figure. he thought he knew how bad things have been lately, he was aware of every cough and every ache and yet nothing could have prepared him for this.

you didn’t do anything to deserve this cruelty.

you nodded slowly, sequencing his hand. “i’m progressing. stage four,” you simply said with an apathetic voice and shrugged. “can’t do shit anymore. just cut my lungs out and throw them away, doesn’t make much of a difference to me.”

his breath hitched as he leaned back, taking in the new information. surely he knew it was bad, worse, but he wouldn’t have expected that you’d been progressing so fast already. you did so well just a couple of weeks earlier. he raised your hand up, pressing a kiss on the back of it. “i’m so sorry,” he mumbled against your warm skin.

“you win some, you lose some,” you whispered, a sarcastic smile on your lips as you gave him a thumbs-up. “it just seems like i lose at almost everything,” you spat.

you couldn’t stay happy for too long, could you? you had an amazing job, a lot of fun with your friends and a wonderful boyfriend.

so obviously your health had to stop you from enjoying your life to the fullest.

you had to take a leave of absence for an unknown time as your body was unable to deal with the stress, immediately letting you fall sick. you couldn’t spend too much time with your friends or even your boyfriend either, instead always having to be casual and lowkey once you did see them — you couldn’t risk it after all.

and it felt like it just wouldn’t get any better, no matter what you were doing.

was it even worth it?

“god i hate this so much, i don’t want to do this anymore” iwaizumi could practically feel your anger and frustration as you spoke. you clenched your jaw tightly, forming your free hand into a fist. “i can’t work, i can’t go out, i can’t do anything that i actually enjoy without ending up in this shitty hospital again”

tears slowly began to blur your vision, which you tried to blink away,. you swallowed, trying to get rid of the lump that formed in your throat and a sad chuckle escaped you. “i’m done. why even do anything to begin with,” you whispered, head falling with your eyes staring at the sterile blanket wrapped around you legs. angrily you kicked your legs, wanting nothing more than to get rid of anything touching you that reminded you of the hospital. the pillows, the blanket, anything. and above else this horrendous smell of disinfectant that seemed to burn so much more in your nose. “i wish it was over”

you sighed resigned. “what’s the point, i’m going to die anyways. better sooner than later”

your head shot up, your teary eyes meeting iwaizumi’s shocked face the second you realized what you had said. “wait, no, i’m sorry, i didn’t—“

your boyfriend only shook his head. “don’t apologize,” he said softly, opening his arms for you to fall into them. “i’m here. it’s okay” weakly you held onto him, burying your face into his hooded sweatshirt.

“i got you, you’re safe with me”

it didn’t take much more for you to burst into tears, violent sobs wrecking your body. you felt so weak, so helpless.

so useless.

“hajime—“

he hated how weak, how broken you sounded, pleading for him to hold you, help you. his heart broke with every sob that shook your body, every wheeze that tried to fill your lungs with oxygen.

“i’m here,” he whispered to you, pressing a kiss on the top of your head. “i got you” he started breathing slowly, allowing you to copy his pattern and calm your chest, which you slowly did.

“you’ll get through this,” he tried to reassure you, offer some words of comfort not just for you, but for himself too.

“i won’t,” your voice wasn’t much more than a whimper at this point, your fingers practically tearing at your boyfriend’s shoulders, desperate to find some straw to hang on to. “hajime what if i won’t?”

“you will. i know you will”

he pulled you even closer to him, his hands tightening their hold around you.

you had to get better.

you couldn’t help but immediately shake your head, not being able to believe him, no matter how convinced he sounded. “my lung function is below 30%,” you whispered, tears filling your eyes and blurring your vision. you let yourself sink into his embrace, not having the energy to sit yourself up properly. “i won’t”

“you will, you hear me? it’s okay, you’ll be okay, love”

“i’m here” he kept reminding you, softly cradling your figure. “i’m not letting you go, okay?”

“i’m scared” you whispered “hajime i’m so scared. i hate living like this but i don’t want to die like so either”

“i know. i got you”

you don’t know how much time passed with the two of you sitting like this, your boyfriend regularly whispering sweet words of affirmation and comfort to you, while he kept you in his embrace.

desperately you held on to him, quietly letting the tears drop down on his grey hoodie, leaving behind small stains.

why did things have to be so bad? why couldn’t you just live?

why were you so fucked?

you knew it was pointless to dwell on these thoughts. all you could do was cooperate and try your best, simply living your life.

but why did it have to be you?

enthusiastic knocks made you jump slightly, head shooting up. “i got the treats!” atsumu always had a weird sense for timing — and you meant this in every possible and negative way imaginable.

“you okay?” your boyfriend whispered, squeezing your hand. forcing a smile onto your face you wiped your cheeks one last time, nodding at him. “he’ll be incredibly moody if we leave him standing there for much longer,” you tried to joke.

a smile also appeared on iwaizumi’s face. “he definitely has some things with tooru in common”

you turned to the door, yelling for the blonde setter to stop knocking and finally come in and as he entered, you greeted him with the best smile you could muster.

what you didn’t see however was the frown that spread over iwaizumi‘s face. he couldn’t stop looking at you, chatting with the miya with a fake smile, as sadness overcame him.

surely you would get better. you always had. and frankly, he wasn’t ready for anything else.

he couldn’t lose you.

but it didn’t seem like he had much of a choice.

evanescent

/ɛvəˈnɛs(ə)nt,iːvəˈnɛs(ə)nt/ — “soon passing out of sight, memory, or existence; quickly fading or disappearing.”

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xaeydnquartz · 16 days

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Part of me kinda wants to stop DMing my first and current campaign? IDK just need to vent

So, brief expo. like many, got into CR during the pandemic (mainly due to "The Legend of Vox Machina" which lead to me actually bingeing the all 3 campaigns) During which time a friend (who was in my immediate friend group but like the rest of my friend group, i didnt really feel close to) told me that he was really into CR as well. As a fresh new critter, i was stoked. Was able to share my blossoming love of CR with someone (FINALLY!) during which we both mentioned how D&D looked so much fun and that it would be really great to be able to play and ooo what if we got our friends together and played.

After which we discussed, if we did, who would be DM? Seeing as how none of our friends really played D&D our talk lead to either my friend or me and after asking the question "Which do you think you would prefer more?" It was clear i would try my hand at DMing (i like lore in games, and i like storytelling, and im a tad bit of a control freak at times, lol)

Anyway, we eventually got in touch with our close knit of friends, and though i intended to be a standard 6 we suddenly had an 8 party party (and that was with me having to tell even less close friends there wasnt room).

Feeling it would still be manageable (as there was precedent that i could pull inspo from, CR) i began planning a rough idea of a campaign and working with my friends to create their characters and running a session 0 so we were all on the same page. You know standard stuff.

-Fast Forward to current date and time-

It has its stressful moments, but i still am able to enjoy the time with my friends for the most part (though theres a lot of times were ive never felt lonelier) Which brings me to the whole point of the post, my need to vent to the void about this loneliness. Nobody really gets in touch or interacts with me at all. Not to talk about the campaign or even collab on their characters. The most i get are occasional critiques about how i could have done something better couple sessions prior and request to add another person to the 8 person party. When we have sessions, people show up late quite often, leave early quite often, have to cancel as they have other things they are doing (even though we planned and scheduled weeks prior) and even when people are there they somtimes feel like they arent always present. i already feel extremely distant from all of them as they all live closer to each other while i live on the totally opposite side of the state and theyve known each other way longer than i have, but the minimal interactions they have with me, the DM/GM of all people, just continues to add to all of it I know we all are busy with our lives, and that compared to those things D&D is really not that big of a deal or important. And i get that, it is just a game afterall, but it still manages to hit pretty hard

I've communicated my feelings through our time of this campaign, if im being honest, maybe not this indepth. I mean, its partially because i barely see or talk to them (again life gets in the way) but also because i feel extremely guilty for putting this kind of tension to something we are all supposed to be enjoying and relaxing to. Its especially painful as most recently 2 players, who said they would get in touch with me about changes possibly being being made to their characters, never got in touch in anyway shape or form, and its been about a month now? And session is in a week...i didnt even get much as a reply back. Idk, its been almost about a year now and i felt i just needed to get this out somewhere other than debating myself.

Thanks for listening tumblr.

#D&D #Dungeons and Dragons #venting #vent post #its just a game it really isnt a big deal #feels pretty lonely though #not what i was hoping for

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ilynpilled · 8 months

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ive been thinking about this a bit and i feel like i have some very different feelings towards certain things and strongly disagree with the implications present in the ways i see them discussed. i do not like to simplify these themes to “vengeance/punishment bad wahh”, because it does not at all feel complete enough to convey my true feelings, or the themes of the text itself for that matter imo, but like… ofc i personally cant read things like cersei’s walk of shame, where she is punished, humiliated, and dehumanized through the one thing she was unfairly condemned for her entire life— jaime’s brutal maiming and torture where he is humiliated, fed things like horse piss which he forces down because he is so thirsty before vomiting it back up, gets repeatedly beaten unconscious, and is nearly driven to passive suicide— theon’s excessive physical and mental torment that would take too long to list that breaks him entirely— and even a man as deeply evil as vargo hoat (who is not at all three dimensional) having his hands and feet and arms and legs cut off, be cannibalized, and even be forced to eat parts of himself, causing the pov character that swore to enact brutal vengeance on him to feel ill and repulsed once he finds out— and experience much, if any, catharsis, personal feelings about these characters aside. asoiaf is a series where the author pretty often deliberately places us inside the heads of bad people that have done terrible things, who some readers may feel a certain hatred for, as they are put through torment. not to make the reader feel good and satisfied about it, but to present it as something that should not really be a thing that we revel in, and encourage us to be critical about what is even gained through what they are going through. even a morally dark antagonist without a pov like joffrey and his death was meant to have elements of tragedy. during, tyrion notes that he is a young boy with fear in his eyes that he had never seen in the eyes of his father. whether you feel a certain way about it (and i am not arguing that you are morally flawed for not sympathizing with a fictional character, this isn’t real life, i am just discussing themes that i am identifying), the goal was not really to provide us with a feel-good “justice at last!” emotion through the brutally violent death of a 13 year old boy. it makes me genuinely wonder how some ppl come away with the idea that this series is intended to be a celebration and glorification of punitive justice. i am not saying justice in general is not a huge theme, and some catharsis, especially for victims, over the death/defeat of their abusers & tormenters is present in the text as well, understandably so, because it can mean safety. take pia smiling through broken teeth when jaime has her rapist executed and presents his head to her while setting a precedent with gregor’s men. some people need to die, and deserve it, but what does that look like? who decides it? why? by contrast, the instance of jaime actually feeling good when he hangs a bunch of random outlaws reads as something more tied to his current relationship to the self and certain selfish desires at this point in his story than real justice, and it is further elaborated upon and taken apart in the book. anyway, all these questions are present and the answers are not near as simple as i often see them made out to be.

it doesn’t feel like to me that most things that can be interpreted as enactments of punitive justice or moments of karma are these epic events that should just make the reader blindly cheer and applaud, or even feel good about. there is a reason that some things go awry (like with oberyn), and it isn’t cynicism. there is nuance, and not in a way where victims are condemned for fighting back, or a pacifist ideology is idealized. there just really isn’t a glorification of brutal punishment, ‘eye for an eye’ vengeance, and the needless causing of suffering. same with a blind upholding of duty and law based around flawed feudalistic constructs. and all these things should not even be conflated. not to mention that punitive justice exists also in a way where it is connected to institutions. take the faith and organized religion for example. the whole process is interrogated: what is sin? what sins are being punished? how? why? and what are the actual effects? be it jaime’s and brienne’s conversations/interactions with a bunch of different tertiary characters in affc, or cersei’s punishment in adwd. at the end of the day, she is punished for her body, for being a woman. she does not suffer “consequences” for her actual wrongs and the suffering she causes. she doesn’t really learn anything, and it will all just make her spiral more. the whole concept of punitive justice gets focused on especially with theon’s entire identity being withered away through torture. he experiences so much torment that there comes a point where he is robbed of his mind and agency. what does the “criminal” learn? how can a person change in these circumstances? what is the point, and why should we feel good about this? he is not even really “punished” for his crimes, and certainly not by people with any moral high ground over him, he is just being brutalized. same is the case with jaime in asos: it is a bad person being brutalized by men even more vile than he is, and they are not doing it because they want to deliver any justice to his victims. also, though the maiming does kickstart crisis with him specifically, it is not the determining factor when it comes to his reformation. this story is not actually saying that people can be, and should be, tortured into becoming better people, and if they can’t the solution is to just axe them. there is nuance, sure, mercy is not something everyone is entitled to in all circumstances. sometimes “mercy” towards certain evil people will lead to the enablement of the suffering of others, even entire populations. there are certainly circumstances where compromise isn’t an option. but, again, i dont think george is ever holding back on actually interrogating the moral quandaries when it comes to identifying cycles and ending them, and he is for sure not treating every single aspect of these conflicts as black and white. even tyrion murdering his father, who purposefully does have a very ironic and humiliating death scene, which is important thematically, doesn’t end in easy and feel-good catharsis, especially for tyrion, which doesn’t equal “oh, tywin should be forgiven and spared”.

all of this is also why i do not really see how events like the fall of house lannister (first of all, we know it is gonna include the likely very brutal deaths of two innocent small children), red wedding 2.0, valonqar etc would be these grand and glorious moments of justice and pay-off, treated as just the good guys finally getting an epic W. they will very likely be filled with tragedy, so i am genuinely curious about where these expectations for this kind of catharsis come from

#long post #and by catharsis i mean reveling in their suffering and feeling like justice was served #valyrianscrolls

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wheelerpilled · 4 months

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OK IM SO EXCITED FOR 5x01 OPENING, I feel like it's been brushed over, like I've seen people excited that we get a 1983 flashback but I NEED to see people's theories on the further implications of this!!

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Every opening scene in stranger things gives us information for a 'hook' for the season, which is why I really want to know about season 5 because it's just odd:

Season 1: something mysterious kills the scientist, leading us to wonder whats going on.

Season 2: we learn there are others like 11, and that Kali exists/escaped aswell, it's important.

Season 3: introduction of the Russian arc, and the attempted opening of the gate

Season 4: we learn about the Hawkins lab massacre and Elevens 'role' in it- revealing new backstory

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Basically it's ALWAYS new information, so they wouldn't just be showing Will in the upside down and leaving it at that, because that brings nothing that we didn't already know to the table.

My point is that every one of these things is the hook for an arc within the season, we know the opening is Will in the upside down, but we don't know WHY. it has to be more than just a callback, they wouldn't waste the opening scene on something that doesn't add anything to plot, So I think this means we are finally going to get to know more of Will in the upside down (Ive read the comic but I mean what happens in the show, because I consider the stuff in the show more 'canon' and the comics are just a side thing)

we are finally going to LEARN more about his connection to the upside down, I think it'll probably confirm the theory that vecna was responsible for his kidnapping and not a demogorgan like the characters in the show assume.

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Wills case is so different to the others who got killed in the upside down almost immediately and I do NOT believe it's simply because he's 'good at hiding'- like come on....those interdimensional creatures would beat his ass 💀

Also yes I 100% a demogorgan would NOT have slowly unlocked that shed door it would've ripped it apart to get inside let's bfr...something else did I and took Will 😭

I believe something had to have had sentience (probably vecna?) And doesn't kill him immediately, considering his further use, so it just leaves him alone for a WEEK?

I think he was purposely left alone, especially because we know he was singing in the upside down which would probably attract something towards the noise, Vecna definitely would've known because he can sense things through the vines and Will definitely wouldn't have known that

Even when Wills caught, he's not killed, he's taken elsewhere and is still alive, just unconscious? This is weird to me, a demogorgan wouldn't of done that, all depictions (apart from dart as a demodog) of demogorgans are shown to be immediately aggressive and attack unless locked in on a different subject (like in the S2 tunnels when the demodogs ignored them to run to the gate)

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I definitely believe it was vecna, maybe making some sort of prototype for his plan to kill 4 people in season 4? I don't know, it's been awhile since I've scene S1 but I remember him kinda being like trapped vertically up in the vines with one in his mouth? I think there was definitely a plan vecna was trying to execute but it was foiled by Joyce and Hopper rescuing Will.

we know it's a hivemind, and that Will can feel the mindflayers presence, but at the end of season 4 he also states he can feel vecna hurting, which is weird because it's not like he could feel every individual in the hiveminds memories, he didn't feel the presence of every demogorgans current state and whatnot, only what the mindflayer felt, it's probably just because the mindflayer is also hurting because vecna is and he can sense that, but I thought Vecna would be smarter than to align himself into the hive Mind knowing it makes him more vulnerable, he can control them, but he isn't PART of them imo, because then if the mindflayer goes down so does he, and his 'underlings' would damage him whenever they're hurt, so I just don't think he'd do it, but Will can somehow still know how vecna feels, so I think he has some other connection to Vecna that'll be revealed in the opening scene...uh yeah sorry for rambling its dumb and I am NOT a good theorist

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I just want to know people's thoughts on what they think will be revealed in the opening, because I think it'll be that vecna kidnapped him, or something that reveals their connection, it'll be cool though!!!

Sorry this post has like no grammatical structures and its UNNECESSARILY LONG + probably annoying to read thanks for sticking with me 😭💗

#will byers #stranger things #stranger things 5 #st5 #mike wheeler #eleven hopper #jane hopper #vecna #demogorgon #st1 #st2

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tethered-heartstrings · 10 months

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genuinely not trying to dunk on molly but when ppl say will and molly were so compatible they loved dogs i just think of molly feeding them canned food from china and not even knowing it could harm the dogs, i feel like this is significant because this was what led to dolarhyde being undetected and her attack which led to her estrangement from will, even her common values w will she did not actually share at all there's a meta here

ngl this is pretty clearly dunking on molly. But let’s refute. I personally haven’t seen many metas/posts about the compatibility between will and molly, so I can’t really contest what they say. However, will and her were as compatible as will led her to believe, as much as he would let. He lied to her about his past, which made it so she couldn’t know all of him and couldn’t connect to parts she couldn’t see. Not a fault of molly’s at all

Having looked back on the script for that episode, no credible veterinarian would ever say “was it canned food from china”. It’s unprofessional and xenophobic. Also, a vet in an emergency situation isn’t going to use scare tactics. They just need to know what went in so they can take care of it. Yes, molly was feeding the dogs canned food because will was out of town so he couldn’t make them food. and I can guarantee will is rational enough to say “hey, these brands are okay” and molly isn’t stupid. And they are very well off, so they would need to buy “cheap dog food from china”. If we want to talk about the dialogue in that scene, we have to admit to ourselves fuller is a misogynist who can’t write women, so ofc he made her say “is it bad to be made in china”. It also neglects how SOME but not ALL food has shown problems, but dog food made in the US has also had toxicity issues! And (I can’t remember if this was in show or just in script) the vet says “pet food safety isn't regulated the same way as human food” which is just false. There is high regulation in pet food, and pet food is made to be human grade and safe for human consumption (and has been for decades). Dogs are more likely to be poisoned by xylitol or chocolate from your candy or get pancreatitis from your table scraps than die from “dog food from china”.

But let’s humor for a second it was the cheap dog food molly bought. The concern and toxic component is melamine, which is added to food to fraudulently increase the protein content. it’s nontoxic (ish) by itself and only becomes a problem when combined with cyanuric acid that forms a crystal and leads to renal toxicosis and failure. Some gi biomes have bacteria that can convert melamine to cyanuric acid, but not all, making it more toxic for these patients. It also wasn’t solely a dog food thing, it happened in human children, too. All that aside, most melamine toxicosis cases are chronic, aka molly would have had to feed the dogs for a while, building up these crystals, and slowly killing the kidneys. This wouldn’t happen suddenly to all the dogs at once. Early signs of toxicosis are very detectable symptoms (vomiting, polyuria, polydipsia, lethargy) and these are signs molly would have noticed and done something about. ALSO if it was melamine the veterinarian was worried about, she wouldn’t use activated charcoal as her treatment (as she states in script, again, don’t remember if this was said in the show). Activated charcoal only works for something currently in the stomach, and that isn’t the pathophysiology for melamine. To treat melamine toxicity, you need iv fluids and supportive care. So what we can take from the veterinarian interaction is 1) fuller doesn’t know how medical professional talk to clients and 2) he doesn’t even understand the toxin he mentioned so it feels xenophobic as fuck to even bring that up.

And no, her canon (fuck you fuller) ignorance to the danger of canned dog food isn’t the cause of dolarhyde being undetected and attacking her. Even if she was feeding them dog food with melamine, Will literally figures out and says that dolarhyde poisons the dogs in the family to get rid of the “alarm system”, so he can attack and not have the family alerted. It didn’t matter what dog food molly fed them, dolarhyde intentionally poisoned them. Even if she fed them food will handmade, dolarhyde would have still poisoned them. And she was a good owner who brought all 7 (probably) puking dogs to the vet as soon as she could. molly had nothing to do with dolarhyde attacking her. dolarhyde had something to do with dolarhyde attacking her (and hannibal ofc). At least give her some credit for, you know, surviving

And no, her getting attacked was not the cause of will estranging himself from her. He never really loved her and used her as a fill in for a man he outright rejected. He was having an emotional affair with Hannibal and not giving a shit about molly. That was nothing molly could control.

And we really can’t thoroughly discuss her values because we barely see her onscreen. Her screentime is a plot motivator, we aren’t privy to who she is as a person. She loves her son, lost her first husband, and loves will. That’s kind of it. Oh, yeah, she also takes her son fishing without Fisherman Husband because he chose to estrange himself.

#you caught me in a mood anon love and light #sorry i know my answer makes me sound like a real jackass but it was worded very rude #like molly did nothing to deserve what happened to her #she was a good person who cared about her family #anonymous #the curious clown

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sweatermuppet · 9 months

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sorry if you've been asked this before but have you gone to college or are you interested? a lot of my fav writers went to pretty prestigious places and have masters or phds etc and i was the type of person who never thought i'd be able to go to school for writing (or anything really) but i'm gonna try this upcoming school year. would love any insight you have if any <3

my feelings on further education for writing are complicated, but to put it out there at the top: i did not go to college & do not consider it necessary to be published

i did not apply to college in high school, which was highly controversial according to teachers, who insisted i need to at least look. i had some poor grades (almost failed creative writing, almost failed sophomore english) & did not attend many after school programs. i skipped class, had a suspension on record for fighting, & i was deeply deeply clinically depressed. i was in therapy, on medication, & could not see that another few years of school would suit me, especially because i was trying to come out as trans in a small school & that exhausted & despaired me. i did not have savings, scholarship offers, & my parents had told me since childhood that any secondary education would be my responsibility

i would like to go to college now i think, or at least attend more workshops & small classes for poetry & fiction, but i still feel it is very unlikely. education costs are too high for me to consider it an agreeable sacrifice for those experiences & connections. if i had the chance to go somewhere for writing, it would have to be within a financial margin that seemingly does not exist for current college costs & i refuse to take out loans, especially when i would rather work a day job & further my transition

i think it is very possible to educate yourself. there are lots of online resources available that can provide you with lessons, prompts, readings, & "homework". one key element, that ive discussed with other published friends, is that doing it alone... means you are that: alone. there is a lot of value in being taught by someone or someones who can answer your questions & give you a uniquely human perspective. i have taught myself a lot privately, but it does come with a sometimes crushing distance that can feel downright alienating, if not discouraging. there is a thrill in discussing poetry in a group that cannot be replicated in solitude

on the other hand, i think experiences cannot be taught in a classroom. to write, you must live first. you have to have material & it is difficult to craft material when you are entirely occupied with study. heartbreak, loss, love, wonder, can all happen during college, & even college is its own experience, but i do think there is a lot of overlooked value in people who just do... people things without wondering if it'll make a good poem

when i went to a writing retreat last year, i was the only man to attend (or ever apply!) & the only person in the group to not have gone to, or actively be in, college. i was torn between thinking i was an outsider, because everyone around me was "better educated" & feeling like id accomplished something all on my own

so... at the end of the day, i think it is entirely personal whether someone goes to college for writing. i know people who have gone & loved it & others who did not find it useful. i think these depend upon yourself, the school, your style, what you're hoping to achieve, etc. i think most of all it's deeply important to learn with other people when you can, to talk to people about poetry, to go to readings & subscribe to journals & visit libraries & take notes. how that is done is up to you

#devotedbunny #sorry that this is six million pages long. i just have a lot of thoughts about it

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bil-daddy · 4 months

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hi mr bildad um im just gonna dump this here since i have no one else to talk to

as someone who has always praised in their ability to be friends with anyone (i also need human interaction to survive btw) ive been feeling very lonely, especially since now are the school holidays.

my best friend (who is one year older than me) is barely online and doesn't take me seriously enough. and when i ask my friend group (with 2 other people my age) if they want to go out nothing happens. ive asked so many times but it's like they just don't want to hang out. and i keep seeing them post everywhere of them having fun with their OTHER friends (i don't know them bc they're from their primary schools; we are in secondary school now). and the obvious solution is to hang out with my primary school friends, right? well awesome news I DONT HAVE ANY.

and like ive just been feeling really really lonely especially today. i don't even text anyone except for my best friend, and even then she doesnt really respond properly because its like i dump a lot of messages and 4 hours later she skims through them, rinse and repeat.

(also side note i used to have another best friend but he ended up having a crush on me and didn't give me space so i kinda ended the friendship bc i wasn't comfortable with it)

during my entire TWO MONTH school holiday i haven't gone out with friends. not even once. while i see everyone else my age having so much fun and enjoying life while i just rot at home scrolling through tumblr.

so yeah im not really having a great time. hopefully when i get back to school in january things will be better

sorry for the long rant

Hey, kid (human). No need to apologize for the long rant. Actually, I've got a lot to say about this topic, too, so take a toilet break, grab a beverage and a snack, then sit down with your deal old Bildaddy (platonic, metaphorical) for a chat.

First off, sorry you're going through this. It hurts a lot when friends start fading away, and you realize they no longer consider you as close and you consider them. Feeling left out and like you don't have any real friends seriously sucks.

But it's actually something every single person goes through at some time or another--though most of us aren't brave enough to admit it like you have, because it feels embarrassing and shameful. Like there's something wrong with you.

There isn't.

There is nothing wrong with you.

Friends come and go, and 99% of the time it has nothing to do with you, or anything you've said or done. It isn't your fault. That doesn't mean it hurts any less, but it isn't your fault.

But that being said, I promise you, for every person you see pictures of having so much fun and enjoying life, there are twenty--probably even more--at home like you, scrolling tumblr, or tiktok, or reddit, or whatever the kids are scrolling these days.

And even those people you see posting pictures, that isn't their everyday life. They post pics of the good times, not the bad ones (well not usually) or the boring ones. Especially not the boring ones. I bet they do more sitting at home and scrolling than you think. They're just not advertising that for all their followers to see.

But that's not the point. The point is (dolphins! goats!) your current friends aren't fulfilling your need for socialization. And that means you need to find some new friends, anon.

You can still stay friends with your best friend and that old friend group. As in, don't send them a message officially ending the friendship, and don't delete and/or block them everywhere. You can still talk to them in school when you see them.

(Do unfollow them on social media if seeing them hang without you is upsetting--or better yet, pause on using social media entirely--except for tumblr, of course--until you're in a better place, mentally and emotionally. Bildaddy deleted instagram five years ago and never went back.)

But starting today, back off on asking these friends to hang out, and sending long text messages to your best friend that she only skims through. They're not matching your energy, so you need to start matching theirs. Either they'll notice the difference and start making more of an effort (no, not that kind), or they won't and they won't. But either way, you'll stop wasting your time.

Next, you take all the energy you were spending on your old friend group and start looking for new friends.

While you're still on winter break, there might not be as many opportunities, but there are some possibilities. Do you have any cousins around your age who might wanna hang out? Or maybe there are local events aimed at teenagers you can attend? Check libraries and community centers. Or on New Year's Eve, there might be some sort of Parents Night Out event you can volunteer for and help babysit a group of little kids, along with other teenagers that you could befriend?

Then, when winter break ends, look around your school for other students who might be in your same situation--and trust me there are others in your same situation. Is there someone who always sits alone at lunch? Or what about that kid in class who's too shy to speak up? Is there someone getting bullied or ostracized? Someone new to the school who hasn't made any friends yet? Look for the ones who might need a friend as much--or even more--than you do and try to befriend them.

It won't always work, no, cause nothing always works. But it will work sometimes. And you only need it to work enough times to make a couple friends. And if you make the right friend, they might have a friend group that you can join.

I know it's really scary to put yourself out there and make the first move. But you'd be surprised how receptive people are, especially the shy ones who are too scared to say 'hi' first, and rely on the braver ones, like you, for the human connection they need. Because we all need it. (Even me. Because I'm totally 100% human.)

Other ways to make friends are clubs, in school and out of school, which is probably what adults will suggest if you ask them, so I'm not going to spend much time on this. But they're right. If you're not already in clubs--academic, sports, art, books, music, anime, whatever your interest(s) is--join some! If there's nothing of interesting at your schools, churches and other local organizations might also have youth clubs and activities, too.

Shared interests in a sure way to make friends. I see it happening all the time on Tumblr. Those mutuals you wish didn't live so far away? Well, you can find mutuals just like them IRL! (Especially if you start or join a book club that reads Good Omens, or a tv show club that watches Good Omens)

Another option is getting a part-time job at a place other teenagers work. If this is something you can do without disrupting your schoolwork, try it. Fast food restaurants, cinemas, places like that.

You say you're someone who has the ability to be friends with anyone? Well, prove it! This isn't a threat, by the way. This is encouragement. I'm encouraging you.

Now go out there and make some friends, kid! I know you can do it! I believe in you, and everybody here is rooting for you.

And, as always, have an ox rib (platonic)

#bildaddy answers #life advice from bildaddy (results may vary)#have an ox rib (platonic)#bildaddy #bildad brainrot #bildad nation #bildad the shuhite army #oh bildad we're really in it now #oh bildad the shuhite we're really in it now #bildad my beloved #shutanic temple #bildad the shuite #bildad #bildad the shuhite #bilday #obstetrician thursday

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