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#i just feel more confident the bigger i get maybe idk
housecow · 2 months
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Any reactions from friends or family? Do you notice yourself being treated differently or judged as you get bigger?
ooooh i love talking about this.. i haven’t gotten a single reaction from family or friends!! and i’m 20lbs past my previous heaviest, so… haha i’m honestly just very lucky, they’ve never commented much on my body or anything?? as a teen i think it was painfully obvious how uncomfortable i as with my boobs, so that may be part of why :))
the only comment i got was years ago when my gma just said “300 comes fast” and i could tell she regretted saying anything… ANYWAYS hope she’s right hehe :3
as for being treated differently… certain things are different?? it largely depends on how i present myself, lol. with a cute outfit/hair/makeup or whatever i get treated very well still, but like. a t-shirt and baggy jeans and a chubby round face w minimal makeup bc im on my period?? people sometimes don’t make eye contact lmfao
on the other hand, sometimes there are ppl who treat me VERY well when i’m looking especially chubby/fat and i always kinda wonder…
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kkujo · 6 months
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also idk i feel so fucking good abt myself idk genuinely being consistent with my gym routine has done everything for my mental health and confidence like i still feel bad abt myself sometimes but for the first time since i was probably 9 i'm having days where i look in the mirror and thinking DAMN i look good and those days are getting more frequent it's really the best feeling
#and it's not just the weight loss like. being overweight was such a struggle for me esp bc i've had issues w eds and stuff and.#idk it made me miserable. and i wasn't the healthiest bc i'd gained a lot due to pcos and my periods were irregular etc like it wasn't good#and now i'm medicated and fuck man my period is regular now and my weight is more normal and i just feel like. good abt that#bc i spent so long being unable to lose bc of my hormones and it was so disheartening bc i was doing everything 'right'#i feel a little bad talking abt it bc ik it's a sensitive topic and i have had issues w eds i obv don't think weighing less makes u healthy#etc etc. for me it was the healthy thing to lose what i've lost so i'm proud of that and i did all of that mostly without relapsing#over 2 years and i've had like. maybe a month of relapse total over that time and each time i've come out of it after a week or two#so i'm definitely stronger mentally etc BUT. my point is. the confidence hasn't come from trying to be smaller#and now i'm actively trying to build muscle and for the first time ever my confidence comes from looking BIGGER bc i want muscle growth etc#the confidence truly comes from within and when i was overweight i started to give myself that confidence#by starting to wear cute clothes and stop hiding my body#it is so true that losing weight won't make you like yourself or your body.#like. you can lose weight if you want but you HAVE to respect yourself first. i lost a lot of weight unhealthily in 2019 and regained it#& bc i did it out of self hatred i NEVER felt better abt myself when i got smaller. you rlly have to be able to love yourself as you are rn#it's cliche but very very true#anyway i don't rlly talk abt this stuff on here bc ik it's a sensitive topic but!!!#i really would recommend weightlifting and strength training if you wanna feel more confident#ik it won't work for everyone but for me it's genuinely transformed the way i see myself.#i no longer try to force myself to be as small as possible. and for me that's everything yk#ALSO LIKE. THE MENTAL HEALTH ASPECTS. just having the routine and getting exercise and getting out every day rlly helps too#i really would recommend it i've never felt better or more confident abt myself#the only thing is unfortunately and it's a very real problem but gym/gym bro culture often leans v close to e/d culture#it really sucks bc a lot of gym folks genuinely do love it and are very healthy with it#but the chicken and rice gym bro types are pretty rampant too and there's a LOT of dysmorphia and such in the community#so i kind of avoid gym bro circles for that reason bc i do think a lot of people take it too far and are very mentally unhealthy with it#but weightlifting/going gym in itself isn't the problem and if you're eating properly & taking care of yourself it's not gonna be like that#it's just knowing the types of ppl to avoid bc a lot of the mindset is pretty toxic 😭😭 but there are def a lot of ppl who do it healthily#like. i understand why people do it but i'm kind of against bulking/cutting at least for myself#bc for me it's not abt looking as strong as possible it's abt being fit and healthy physically & mentally if i look buff asf that's a bonus#but a lot of ppl take bulks/cuts too far & a lot of it is just regurgitated e/d shit unfortunately. just b careful who you interact with
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arolesbianism · 10 months
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I wanna redesign my furry Yukina design a lil bit to make her dog half more clear but also I need to design everyone else but also doggy :(
#rat rambles#band posting#I made her a cat initially because it was just an anthro version if my kitty design for her#but Im a doggy yukina truther now so I wanna make her more dog like so bad#shell still look more like a cat than a dog but mainly I wanna make her ears give more dog vibes#and maybe give her a bigger nose? idk#tbh the biggest reason Im making her only half dog is because of akito#he doesnt get to be a proper dogboy or a proper catboy I will not allow it#also ena being a cat bat mix means I get another excuse to pull out old cr design shit hashtag losing get me out of this hell#I put all my best ideas into my cr hcs and I cannot let them go to waste 😔#also if I ever properly make a furry sekai au do know I am making kanade a monkey and no one can stop me#but yeah I also wanna design ferret tomoe but Im not confident I know exactly what I wanna do with her hair wise#mostly cause Ive been doing a mostly no anime wig furry approach so far but I still like including elements of their og hair#but I dont think I wanna make tomoe like. fluffy yknow?#like idk maybe I can give her some particularly long ear fluff or smth and make her a lil spiky but still short furred#himari will be the easiest to design of afterglow at least cause shes a lion lions are easy it kinda feels like cheating to make her one#but Im commiting cause I think shed be cute as a lion#tbh the real problems are gonna be tsugu and tsukushi like their animals are not humanoid design friendly but I will try#tsugi is a kangaroo rat and tsukushi is a jeroba for context#tbh for kaoru I might just give her the human hair cause like fuck it. its kaoru he deserves it#also I might make chu2 some sort of lemur or smth? idk I just think its be fun#I also am conflicted abt layer cause I wanna make her an otter but also I worry her design would be too similar to tomoe's#idk Im probably gonna lose all my motivation to draw any of them by tomorrow anyways so like :/#maybe the new brush rush will carry tho who knows
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urfavlarry · 11 days
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I recently got into School bus graveyard and I COMPLETELY understand the hype, idk if im the only who does this... but literally the moment I was done I went to tumblr for fics, but there's like none?? So maybe some dating headcanons for the group!! ^^
Dating Headcanons for the sbg characters
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Ashlyn Banner
best person to have a lazy day with tbh
i swear yall would be like “should we go out today” look at each other for 5 seconds and say “nah”
she would teach you some gymnastics and laugh when your just lying there complaining how you aren’t flexible
probably is more of a person that gives you gifts, or gives you a hug in stead of comforting you with words
she would be a bit awkward at first probably
also I don’t think she likes excessive physical touch cuz red confirmed that Ashlyn is autistic but when she gets used to you she would be okay with it but still, don’t go too hard on her
you let her play/stim with your fingers
you’re always there for her when she gets overwhelmed and she loves you so much for that
doesn’t call you that many nicknames probably a short version of your name but if your name is already short then probably just love or babe
if you speak another language she would definitely wanna know some words or learn with you
if it’s your mother language then she would be like “omg how was [your country] like!”
probably is a nerd in some sort of way
anyway probably a great girlfriend to have but only if you aren’t the type to be really really and I mean REALLY extroverted
Taylor Hernández
this girl is such a cutie!!
would plan dates, sleepovers, night outs..
drawing/picnic dates are a must
watching the sunset or sunrise together on the rooftop
calls you cute nicknames like sunshine, mi vida, sugar and that kind of stuff
is very affectionate
cuddles !!
shes the little spoon probably but if you’re feeling down then she will gladly be the big spoon
you would definitely braid her hair if you know how, if you don’t know then there’s another idea for a date! teaching you how to braid hair!
probably isn’t even that awkward at first probably a little bit shy but gets pretty confident later on
the best partner to have if you’re insecure
makes your insecurities disappear in a heartbeat
overall a 11/10 girlfriend !! we love taylor :D
Tyler Hernández
he is probably a tsundere tbh
acting like he doesn’t care but when you are alone he babies you sm
no matter if your bigger then him, stronger, smaller, it doesn’t matter, he babies you no matter what
don’t let the others know tho
isn’t afraid to show you off like girl bffr
holds your hand, has his hand on your waist, kisses you on the forehead, cheek or lips before class starts (even if you are in the same class)
uses nicknames like mi amor, mi reina/mi rey, baby ect.
nicknames with him are endless
movie night is a must
probably would take you to his baseball practice
has a separate album for you only
everyone in the group can tell he’s love sick like he looks at you with heart eyes
a jealous type probably
would beat up anyone and everyone who looks at you the wrong way
he’s probably touch starved and he hides his feelings from you because he just prioritises you over anything
you gotta full on force him to tell you what’s wrong but after a while he opens up to you normally
a 100/10 boyfriend the poor boys been through too much
Logan Fields
gardening dates!!
gives you flowers when you’re sad or just whenever to make your day!
stargazing dates
yapps your ear off about astrology (you let him tho)
calls you nicknames like bunny, hun, love
gives you honest opinions on everything
regrets his choices when you get grumpy afterwards
makes it up to you by cuddling you or kissing your whole face
introduces you to his grandparents
they approved of course because they just trust that he can pick himself a good s/o
hugs from behind!!
reads you a book when you can’t sleep
helps you with your work but doesn’t do it for you (Barron trauma)
best person to seek when you want comfort and or advice
gives you honest advice so if you were in the wrong expect him to tell you lmao
if you listen to music on vinyls or CDs then definitely brings you to a music shop and he will spoil you rotten
loves listening to your music taste no matter what genre it is he just wants to bond with you
he’s such an adorable and amazing boyfriend it mealts my heart !! :D
Aiden Clark
be prepared to patch this boy up every single second of the day
and also getting him out of trouble every single day
he is a wild one for sure
doesn’t mean he’s a bad boyfriend
loves showing you things he learned on his skateboard and he tries to teach you
does that thing where he holds your hands while your on the skateboard, tells you to jump and flips the board for you
that tik tok kind of shi
while on the topic of tik tok, does every silly couple tik tok trend with you lmao
yapps your ear of all day every day
not the best person to ask for advice from but he will hold you until you feel better!
best cuddle buddy
and hug buddy
if you don’t like physical touch then idk if you could have a relationship with him, he will CLING to you as if his life depended on it
loves it when you play with his hair
makes a playlist for you two
calls you nicknames like rockstar, doll, my love, bae, babe
definitely has you saved as “future wife🤭❤️” or “the mother of my kids🥵😍”
he be weird like that
loves to have you in his lap
idk he probably likes you ass sm, not in a sexual way but just lays on it, smacks it, squishes it..
only in private tho
honestly a pretty good boyfriend but he’s more of like your child then boyfriend
Ben Clark
a chill one for sure
hugs, holding hands are a must
listening to music through his headphones how he did with Taylor in that one episode
jealousy scale is um pretty high
you gotta reassure this boy because he’s just scared of loosing you
would fr fight 100 people at once for you if you asked him to
whenever he gets angry, you’re there for him when Aiden can’t and he appreciates that
loves it when you hold his hand and rub circles on the back of it
forehead kisses >>
probably doesn’t give you that many nicknames since he doesn’t speak, either a short version of your name, bae or hun
the best listener ever (not because he doesn’t speak)
when you start to yap and just talk about the most random things he has your back against his chest as he rests his chin on your shoulder
very chill and overall good boyfriend
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rusmii · 4 months
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ಇ. BSD MEN IN OMEGAVERSE
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#🫧 includes : fem!reader x dazai, chuuya
#🫧 notes : yall may think im weird for this, but hear me out! i got curious and decided to make a/b/otology. more characters later!!💀
#🫧 cws : smut hcs is in its own section so u can skip over it, a/b/o dynamics, ruts/heats, pls don't take this seriously, uh implied weird sex with these men, mentioned: fisting, cunni, fingering, marathon sex, big dicks, cervix touching, rough fucking, bed breaking, FEM TERMS ARE USED!!! (pussy), unknown drug mori gave you and chuuya
#🫧 taglist (free to join!) : @luvan1 @dollchuya
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— 𝐃𝐀𝐙𝐀𝐈 : general hcs
idk I'm leaning towards alpha
dazai is more like a non stero typical alpha due to his lack of outwardly cocky confidence and average muscle a normal alpha should have
at first glance he seems like a regular beta - hell even with some submissive qualities 💀
but as you get to know him you also notice the shift in his scent
dazai is the type to wear scent blockers bc he just doesn't wanna deal with a flock of whores coming his way whenever he's out
as for when he presented, probably around 15. a little after when mori found him and recruited chuuya
dazai isn't really an aggressive alpha per say, but as an alpha it's rlly in his instincts so if you're observant, you may notice his passive aggressive attitude
him in the pm was ruthless tho. he was murdering dicks with just his presence, but he's a changed man now
dazais rut cycles happen every 4 weeks (every month). average rut time that lasts a week
since he's an alpha most likely he's going to be a little bigger than the average beta. maybe abt 4.7 inches when soft and 7-8 inches when hardened
he doesn't have a preference in the omegas he likes but if he were to choose, probably an omega who reminds him of oda in way
basically someone who won't judge him for who he is cause dazai is a whole mess to deal with😭
— 𝐃𝐀𝐙𝐀𝐈 : smut hcs (u can skip this part)
hope u guys didn't forget this is an omegaverse post
anyways dazai goes feral when he dicks you down😭
shoving you on his cock even when he only used one finger:( jk nah he uses his whole fist first
you're stretched so wide opened that you don't even need a plug. your slick already producing more than enough to replace a whole bucket of lube
that's when he bullies his cock up into you. making sure you least expect it— making you beg and moan then shoves it in when your mouth is already wide open
I'm sorry if ur on the smaller side but dazais dick IS gonna be 7-8 inches so if you're like under 5'4 then yeah you might feel that shit up in your cervix
but that's fine since you're born to be bred that way (omega reader)
that aside, dazai isn't as dominant as other alphas. controlling, yes. lazy? definitely
rather have you fuck yourself on his dick then do much work but that's when he's NOT on his rut
if he's on his rut then yeah, ur pussy is getting a restraining order against his dick
bro your pussy would be PULSING for daaysss after his rut😭😭 you wouldn't even wanna open your legs for this man anymore
your heat cycles and his rut cycles probably don't align, meaning more days off work, meaning a happy dazai
dazais version of aftercare is eating his cum out of you then carrying you to use the bathroom to pee then carry you back to bed to sleep
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— 𝐂𝐇𝐔𝐔𝐘𝐀 : general hcs
ALPHA 100%
but gets mistaken for an omega💀
as an alpha, chuuya exerts that usual cocky confidence and muscle a normal alpha would have. in fact he probably has more than the average alpha
the only reason why chuuya gets mistaken as an omega is bc of how short he is. there's no way that an alpha could be so non stero typical but chuuyas existence proves everyone wrong
chuuya doesn't wear scent blockers then complains abt omegas, BETAS even, clinging onto him like he's gonna leave them after edging them for years
submissive betas though, normal and more dominant betas aren't crazy over him like that😭
as for when chuuya presented, he was a late bloomer lmfaooo. buddy presented as an alpha at 18
ngl everyone thought he was gonna be one dominant omega but chuuyas biology rlly said, "lemme show yall where i put the rest of his height"
unlike dazai, chuuya is one hell of a volatile alpha. one second he's calm then he's slamming a random alphas head in the wall bc he was harassing omegas
a volatile alpha for good reasons (unless it's dazai)
chuuyas rut cycles comes every 3 weeks and lasts for about a week and a half. not on the average time but pretty close to it
he'd just have to adjust and manage his timing well
like dazai, he's gonna have a BIG D so I'd say around the same length as him, 8-9 inches when hard and 5 when softened. as for width though? man's a coke can. THICK AS FUCK.
chuuya does have a preference in his omegas. he'd prefer a more submissive but act-like-they're-in-charge type of omega. he's not picky though, and will worship an omega anyways
that will always send them the wrong signals but it's alr since it's chuuya
— 𝐂𝐇𝐔𝐔𝐘𝐀 : smut hcs (u can skip this)
a dominant man always loves being on top
chuuya be the type to finger you while eating you ouuut😝 literally doesn't stop till his face, neck-down is SOAKED
and chuuyas fingers are BIG like did you guys know his hands are bigger than dazais?!? one finger would probably equal to two of yours
bby makes sure to stretch you wide open cz he knows he big:((
just know that his tip is gonna be slobbering your cervix, so let's hope your omega body is aroused enough to stretch for him
on normal days where normal sex occurs, chuuya doesn't really treat you any differently from his rut days
only difference being that he's softer and gentler, especially on special days
during his ruts however.......... yo bro breaking bed after bed yall might as well just fuck on the floor😭
like it's gotten to the point where you just use a floor bed
ik ur neighbors banging on the doors every 3 weeks
your pussy is literally applying for another alpha cause WHEWW man keeping up with chuuya is a workout on its own
it don't help the fact that his stamina exceeds normal people staminas
your heat cycles and his rut cycles align! when you and chuuya first mated, you both took these unknown concoctions mori gave yall to align your cycles
in chuuyas house, aftercare is important. or at least that's what he says before knocking tf out and you having to drag your ass out of bed to clean yourself + him up
he feels bad abt it the next morning and makes you stay in bed for like the next 3 days
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©CHURUAI ;;; don't steal, plagiarize, or repost my works
rbs and comments appreciated <3<3
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intuitively-her · 5 months
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What career fits you best?
Pile 1-(6 of wands, The Star, The Moon, The Magician, 6 of swords rx, 6 of cups rx, 8 of cups, 2 of wands, The Devil rx, 5 of wands rx, Knight of wands, King of pentacles, 10 of cups)
You need to be in the spotlight!📸 Someone here wants to be an actor/actress. Or maybe you like to perform in theatre? Burlesque dancer? For someone specific, this is something you wanted to do since you were a kid. Your confidence is out of this world! It needs to be showcased on a stage somewhere.🤩 More people should know your name. Get into some acting classes if you can. For someone specific, you should get into a dance class. Someone here needs to take an etiquette class. Or something related to speech and communication. For some of you, this will require you to move somewhere new. Atlanta, Texas, or California could be significant.🌍 Something about this career could be unconventional. Performing naked/half dressed? Idk I keep getting a sexual theme here. This career will bring in endless abundance for you.📈 You possess many skills. It's like one day you're playing an extra in some movie, and then the next you're doing a big show on Broadway. You shouldn't limit yourself with your creativity in your line of work. There's nothing you can't do pile 1!🌠
🎶channeled songs: R.I.P by playboi carti & Cameras by drake
Pile 2-(4 of swords, The Hermit, Knight of swords, Page of cups, The Moon rx, Death, The World, Wheel of fortune, 9 of pentacles)
This is my artistic pile.🎨 Someone here could be into graphic design? Or clothing design. Your style of art is unpredictable. You set the trends. Realism art? Someone here could be into mural art. Your art could have a morbid nature to it. If so, people love this. You might primarily work from home. In your own little sanctuary.🏡 You could like to create art that "speaks" to people. Or you like to create art that evokes emotion from the audience. Someone here likes to draw cartoons? Reflect on your childhood for better inspiration. Maybe something you used to draw as a kid? A childhood t.v. show? You wanna contribute to the public and give back to people through "art". You're a very down to earth person in general and can get along with just about anyone. Use that skill to network with others in your field. It would be very beneficial for you.
Pile 3-(The Empress, The Hierophant, 4 of wands, 10 of cups, 5 of pentacles, Knight of swords, 3 of pentacles rx, Ace of cups, Wheel of fortune)
You would make an amazing teacher!🏫 For someone specific, you should look into spiritual teaching. Or maybe working in the church? You could be in the middle of a career change right now. Someone here wants to run a daycare? Or teach small children. You make others feel comfortable. People love how you're easily vulnerable with them.🫶🏽 You're an open book to most. Someone here would make a great therapist. People might've seen you cry before. Or you're often a shoulder to cry on for others. You're very good at consoling others. It pretty much comes natural to you. You're the type of mother that others wish they had growing up. Someone here could be newly pregnant or nursing.🤱🏽 For someone specific, your cooking is the best! There's no one that compares to you in the kitchen.🤣 Someone here could be in a feminist organization? Or you should try one. Many would describe you as a "godsend". You make others feel at home, always. You always know what to say at the right time. Your advice makes people see the bigger picture. It makes everyone around you want to be a better person.💫
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lynderman · 1 year
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𝘼 𝙁𝙤𝙧 𝙀𝙛𝙛𝙤𝙧𝙩 (Xavier Thorpe)
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Pairing: Xavier Thorpe x Fem!Addams!Reader
Word Count: 2.8k+
Date Published: 12/9/22
Synopsis: You’ve always been 2nd place. First place for losers. Attending Nevermore was supposed to change that.
A/N: (I was so confident writing this, and I feel like I went down a rabbit hole because some shit doesn't even make sense. So idk if it’s good or not. It also isn’t proofread 💀)
Part 2
─── ・ 。゚☆: *.☽ .* :☆゚. ───
“Vi, are you still free after fencing today? I thought I’d take you up on that offer and go down to Jericho to get-“
“Sorry. I told Wednesday I’d meet her in the nightshades library to look for a certain book.” My smile instantly vanished as he said her name. It’s not that I hate her, no. I could never. We’re best friends! Well, as close as best friends could be to Wednesday Addams. I didn’t have a reason to hate her; But I did have more than enough to be jealous. Ever since we were kids she’s always been able to one-up me.
It started with small things like getting better grades in school. Then to committing higher and bigger crimes. And it eventually reached the point where I felt like everyone in the family preferred her to me. Even my own dad! Her precious ‘Uncle Fester’, the only one who made her smile. He made everyone smile though. Every time he came home from one of his jobs, I’d get a pat on the head and Wednesday would get a hug. His niece got more love and affection from him than his own daughter did.
I thought maybe, just maybe when I came to Nevermore I’d be able to fit in. Be my own person! Make my own friends, be someone who I wanted to be. Not living in the shadows of my cousin; Being known as ‘The other Addams?’ Or ‘Wednesdays’ Cousin!’ And I was for a while. For a whole year I was just known as Me. I wasn’t compared to anyone or told to be better. In fact I was great! Fantastic, even.
I’d made captain of the fencing team, like aunt Morticia. I was first chair in almost all my classes. I had friends of my own and was always asked to hang out. People were interested in me. They wanted me for me. Especially Xavier. God, Xavier. He was drop dead gorgeous. His long hair that framed his face so perfectly. His hazel eyes so full of hope and warmth. The smile that was always on his face when I walked up to him or when we hung out. He made me feel so happy and appreciated. Just loved and seen. I would do anything for him because I know he’d do the same for me!
Or so I thought.
The second that Wednesday showed up to Nevermore, any hopes I had of asking him out or just anything suddenly vanished. Like everyone else in my life, I was soon replaced by her darkening and compelling image. He became so infatuated with her. Our afternoon runs were taken away and replaced with him hanging out with her. He sat through and listened to her crazy theories all day and looked at her like she hung the stars herself. The same way he looked at me once.
My fists clenched my bag and I held back the urge to scream on the spot. Now the one time we were both free was taken away by her again? She wasn’t even a nightshade so that isn’t fair. “Have fun with that. I’ll be by the lake if you feel like I’m worth your time today.” My words seemed to get his attention because he finally looked up from his sketchbook. I caught a glimpse and saw it was an another drawing of Wednesday. He opened his mouth to say something but I walked off before he got the chance to. Or cry. Whichever came first at this point.
──�� ・ 。゚☆: *.☽ .* :☆゚. ───
The sun shone directly onto my face as I continued to write down the finishing lyrics to my song. My plan for the day was to hang out with Xavier and show him my new music for my violin. He knew I played an instrument but he didn’t know what it was or that I sang. So I thought it’d be a good time to surprise him! But of course my plans were ruined thanks to Wednesday. Again.
Letting out a grunt of frustration, I threw my pen into the lake. “What’d the pen ever do to you?” My attention turned to Xavier’s voice behind me. I listened to the sound of the leaves crunch and stop before he sat down on my blanket beside me. I didn’t ask him to, but I always found it hard to be upset or angry with him. Peering over my shoulder he asked what I’d been writing. “Just some music. I was gonna go back to my dorm and see how it turned out.” He didn’t need to know I wanted him to go back with me.
“Really? Can I see it?” Hesitation filled my body but I still gave him the notebook. His hands flipped through my pages and the words. I prayed to god he didn’t under Latin. “You never told me you write music.” I shrugged and turned back to the lake. “You never bothered to ask.”
─── ・ 。゚☆: *.☽ .* :☆゚. ───
We sat at the lake for a while and just talked. It was nice; Feeling like I got my old friend back. The way he laughed at each joke I made and seemed to be genuinely interested in my topics made me realize how hard I’d fallen for him again. “Speaking of hair-“ He reached out to twirl the white strand in my black head of hair between his fingers. “Did you just decide it was a cool fashion statement or something?” I laughed lightly and shook my head.
“No, no. Back in 6th grade I was doing a science experiment, Y’know the one where you dissect frogs right? I was cutting him open and i just electrocuted myself without realizing it. That’s when I found out I’m like my dad. The whole lightning and shit. But I can do this weird thing with weather too where-“ I paused when I realized I was getting off track. “Anyways. I zapped myself and some shit happened with my hair when I did. It was only this piece though.” Laughing I turned the other way and buried my head into my knees. “I’ve tried to dye it back but it never works. All the other kids would make fun of me and say I’d get cancer or go bald. I dunno why though, that doesn’t make sense.”
What didn’t make sense was that I was basically Trauma dumping on Xavier for no reason. All he asked about was my hair and got some sob story in return. There was silence for a moment. I knew I overshared and he’d think I’m just some attention whore. It took me by surprise when he put his hand on mine, making me turn to face him. “I think it’s cool. Makes you stand out.” The blush that spread across my face was inevitable. Like an idiot I asked: “Really?”
A smile broke out in his face as he nodded. “Do you still wanna go to Jericho? The shuttle leaves in about 20 minuets? We can go to the weathervane and maybe check out that new music store?” My stomach was filled to the brim with butterfly’s, warmth spreading throughout it. Play it cool, play it cool. Don’t freak out. Just say that sounds fun. “Yes! Of course. I’d love to.” I mentally face palmed myself with the joy in my voice. It felt like a movie moment. Was this him asking me out on a date? Xavier finally got the balls to be the one to initiate it? No thoughts were going through my mind as my body leaned closer to his, him doing the same.
I could smell his cologne and feel his breath on my face; A mere 6 inches between my lips and his. Just as mine were to meet his, a phone rang. His phone. He blinked and apologized before picking it up.
“Hello? Enid? Since when did you call me? No, I’m not. She was busy so I’m at the lake, hanging out with-“ Xavier paused as Enid’s voice rose over the line, his brows furrowing as she spoke. I couldn’t hear what was going on. “Yeah, sure. Give me 7-8 minuets and I can. The quad or the courtyard? Mhm, sure.” He lowered his phone and hung up. “What’d Enid call about?” Standing up he began to brush himself off. “Wednesday asked her to call me since she doesn’t ‘want to be a slave to technology’. Said something about her finding a new lead on the monster and to meet her in the nightshades library.”
“But didn’t you earlier?” He shook his head. “No, she needed to do something else and talk to someone.” My lips pursed and watched as he grabbed his sketchbook from beside my bag. “Can we uh- rain check on Jericho?” All the butterflies and warmth my stomach were replaced with dread and insect repellent. “Again?” I muttered. “It’s nothing personal, I just need to-“
“No it never is with you is it? I mean do you even care about anyone or anything other than Wednesday?” The words left my mouth before I could process what I said. “Sorry?” Now I was standing up, arms crossed as I spoke. “Sorry? Oh shut up; Stop playing dumb. We both know you’re not so don’t try to bullshit your way out of this.” He took a step closer to me and looked down, irritation and confusion clouding his eyes. “What’re you talking about? What’s this even coming from? Why’re you getting so worked up about us hanging out?” Scoffing I took a step back from him.
“I’m getting worked up about this because you hang out with her all the time and not me! I’m constantly being ditched and put to the side cause you wanna go waste your time who doesn’t give a single fuck about you!”
“Don’t say that. She does but just act-“
“Acts distant and cold? Stand-offish and uninterested? She’s like that with everyone. What makes you think you’re any different to her? Do you think you’re special or some shit? Wednesday’s been like this her entire life and she’s certainly not going to change for some moron of a dude.” Xavier’s face only showed confusion as I spoke. “Oh come on. Don’t tell me you can’t put two and two together? Wednesday Addams; (Y/n) Addams? How many Addams’s in this school do you know? If you named more, I wouldn’t be surprised since you seem to pay attention to everyone else other than me.” “Not everything is about you (Y/n).” He snapped.
“You’re right. It’s not! It’s always about Wednesday. Everything is. It’s always ‘Oh, have you seen Wednesday? I’m looking for her.’ Or ‘Do you wanna see this new drawing of her? It looks better than the last!’ Anything that comes out of your mouth is about her! Have you ever noticed how you put me next to her? Below, If you will. She plays cello and you draw her. I play violin, but you never bothered to ask because you’re too busy talking about how good she sounds. You go with her to Jericho to get coffee while I’m left behind doing schoolwork. Everywhere I go I’m beneath her. I’m compared to her, I’m belittled because I’m not as edgy or mysterious as she is. My family seems to like her more too. My own father loves her more than me! Can you imagine that, Xavier? Having to live in the shadow of your little cousin because she’s so much better than you at everything? I thought the name I made for myself at Nevermore would stick! I’d have my own friends and interests and not be known as the other Addams girl. I thought that I could get away and have shit of my own! BUT NO. I CAN’T.”
The air around me felt chilly and vast, a small breeze inclining as my voice got louder. “But it’s never going to happen. Everyone will always choose her over me. I’ll always be second to her. And it’s not fair. It’s not. I try to hard at everything. Especially when making friends. I’m almost on my knees trying to get people to approach me but she just has to stand and glare at people and suddenly they’re wrapped around her finger. Like you. You’re just another string waiting to be pulled by her; Following and doing what she says like a lost puppy. You look at her with such admiration and longing in your eyes. Maybe if you turned your head the other way and fixed your eyesight, you’d see that’s how I look at you! If you weren’t so fucking blinded by her borderline manipulative tendencies you’d notice I’m the way with you you are with her.”
My hands were moving with immense exaggeration as I spoke. The feeling of static shooting through my veins when I threw them down to my sides in anger. “Look, I’m sorry. Why don’t we talk about this and-“ A short circuit of lighting extended from my fingers when I held my hand up to him. “This isn’t a two way conversation right now. It’s one where you listen to every word I say because that’s all I’ve ever done for you, especially ever since Wednesday’s gotten here-“
Speak of the devil, and she’ll arrive. Looking to my left I could see her standing a few feet away from us. “I think your feelings for Xavier are getting in the way of our goal, (Y/n).” I deadpanned. “Our goal?” She didn’t answer my question, only asking another one in its place.
“How would your father feel if he knew you were letting your emotions get the better of you?”
“Gee, I dunno. Why don’t you ask him since he was with you early in the nightshade’s library!” She said nothing. “He finally shows up after being on the run again and stops to say hi! Not to his daughter, but his niece.”
“It’s not my fault if Fester approached me and not you.”
“It’s never your fault is it? Nothing ever is. You’re just perfect Wednesday who’s above all others. Especially her cousin who’s done everything in her power to help her with her bullshit conspiracies. I’ve been on your side since day one. Believing in your shit when no one else would. And how do you thank me? By stealing the few people I have In my life away from me. Again and again. It’s a never ending cycle. And I never bother to break it because we’re family, Wednesday.” The overwhelming emotion of anger and hatred died down, the slight breeze fading completely. Now it was just cold and quiet. Water began to drop onto my clothes and belongings. When I looked up I realized It was raining; But only on me. As cliché as it sounds, there was a small storm cloud hovering above my head. Hence the weather thing I was telling Xavier about earlier.
“Do you know what you struggle with, (Y/n?).” Laughing, I faced Wednesday again. “No, but I’d love to hear your piercing insight on it!” “You don’t know when to turn your emotions on and off. You let them consume and confuse you. How you’re just a fool with a slow heart; Putting out love for others only to never get any back.” The rain became heavier as she spoke, each drop hitting harder against my face. “I understand that emotions are a foreign concept for you, Wednesday, but you don’t have a right to talk about mine if you don’t have any.” Is what I’d like to have said. But it isn’t. It was more along the lines of:
“Maybe you’re right. I do love too much because no one has ever given me any. I hope that one day you’ll think about all of the love I’ve given you, and maybe feel generous to reciprocate it.” Turning from her I grabbed my bag off the now drenched blanket and sling it over my bag. “The same goes for you, Vi. When you come to your senses and realize that I have and will still do anything to get a small sliver of your validation or time, my dorm room door will be open.” I meant to passive aggressively hand him his sketchbook back, but it was really just me shoving it into his chest. I didn’t dare look back at the two as I literally stormed off into the forest.
The sun still was shining around me even as I made my way back to the courtyard, through the quad, and up to my dorm. The cloud only got bigger when I was alone in my dorm room. Sitting in my shower I thought. Thought about how Wednesdays’ right. Despite ending up with nothing, I’ll still give everyone else everything I’ve never gotten in hopes someone will one day do the same.
─── ・ 。゚☆: *.☽ .* :☆゚. ───
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breadnauppercrust · 1 year
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some designs i came up with for the girls in miraculous. the idea was 'what if they could have multiple outfits like sailor moon, as told by ginger, or totally spies?' and 'what if their clothes reflected their story arc?' however, i kind of gave up on them because i no longer have time to work on it as much as i would like to, so below this are copy+paste from my wip instagram account. lowkey its fanfiction-y lol
Alya:
Alya redesigns! tbh don’t know if they’re cohesive but 🤷‍♀️
S1: dresses for comfort & is geeky - think DrWho/Marvel/Tumblr. Obsessed w superheroes & has dedicated blog for each one, & that includes LB. Beginning of her & Maris friendship, starts to dates nino halfway s1.
S2: Mari influences her way of dress, still geeky but experimenting w clothes. Ladyblog becomes popular, interested in finding out her secret ID. Is also investigating akumas, HM, The Who/what/where/whys. Lowkey figures out who ladybug is but doesn’t say anything. Has been given fox miraculous at least a couple times.
S3: notices changes in Maris behavior & confronts her. Becomes fox miraculous holder full time, helps LB figure out who HM is & shares all the info she’s found. CN lowkey pushed to the side, causing friction, bc wrapped up w finding out who HM is ig. Constantly wears a Fanny pack now for trixx. Goes w comfortable but stylish clothes (ig lol idk) also at this point is BFF w Mari
Chloe:
S1: wears preppy designer brands to impress mom, despite living in diff countries. Basic mean girl, her only friends being Sabrina and Adrien - whose a childhood friend & lowkey helped him attend school. Both know how it feels to “lose” a parent & Adrien has seen a softer side of her. Probably has a crush on him ig. Maris bully, jealous of her talents at sewing & making friends easily, & prob her knit tight family.
S2: still preppy but w 60/70s inspo. Given bee miraculous a couple times, has resisted akumas - info she uses to help others later. Helping ppl & being somewhat nice makes her feel good & likes the appreciation from others+LB. Maybe Mom moves back to Paris w half sister, Zoe - might be significantly younger than Chloe idk. Didn’t like her at first but warms up to her as season goes on. Sees lil sister copying her & their mom, has an epiphany ig. Connects dots on akumas & feelings & tries to be better.
Should Zoe exist tho??? idk
S3: preppy but more casual. She’s nicer but still sarcastic, has made a few new friends, treating Sabrina better. Still trying to get moms approval tho & follows her around, even to fashion things w the Agreste. Notices Gabriel is acting strange, more distant towards Adrien, doesn’t notice what he’s doing or where he’s going. pt queen bee ig, probably given towards the very end of the season tbh by Adrien/CN after being ignored by LB bc of RR involvement w finding out HM id. AND noticing Chloe change significantly in the past several months (?) does Adrien reveal to her IDK he is still loyal to LB but eH
Mari:
1st Mari is shy, her outfits are safe & she kind of disappears in a crowd. She just became 🐞 & isn’t 💯 with her role yet. She’s designed and made her own clothes but doesn’t wear them outside of the house bc Chloe, oof
2nd she’s now comfortable being 🐞 & that boosts her confidence as Mari, she’s wearing more bold colors & outfits that she may or may not have designed herself 👀
3rd 🐞 is now the guardian of the miraculous box, has bigger responsibilities & problems to deal with. Being 🐞 has creeped into her daily life. Doesn’t have time to design/make clothes so wears w/e, but tries to appear happy.
Kagami:
i like the idea of kagami being prim and proper looking all preppy at the beginning, but after making friends she starts to rebel by modifying her school clothes w accessories but eventually wears w/e she wants w a punkish vibe. lowkey worried about falling into a trope so idk
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orkbutch · 6 months
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That no make up mod has prompted me to voice something I THINK .... I think that because Karlach is the character she is, which is to say she is clearly coded as a masculine lesbian (no that doesn't mean I think she IS a lesbian/isn't bi, I think you can headcanon different sexualities with characters but canon in game shes clearly bi ANYWAY).
I think because Karlach is coded as a masculine lesbian, both the game and the fandom, consciously or unconsciously, feel a need to Counter Balance her masculinity. I think she gets Golden Retrievered' by the fandom so much partly because of this. A lot of Karlach's darker personality traits emphasize her masculinity; she is angry, shes impulsive, shes over confident, shes aggressive and prone to violence. She is also, of course, full of love and resilience, shes deeply kind, extremely brave, an incredibly loyal person, and someone who has an admirable respect for her own emotions and their worthiness. But she is also all of those negative things, and they make her a particularly gender non-conforming character.
And sometimes I get frustrated because it feels like... idk! Like Karlach isn't just taken for who she is, I guess. There seems to be this need to emphasize a more feminine side of her. What if she was with a lover who was bigger and stronger than her? What if she was in a beautiful gown? What if she was taking care of everyone? ect. ect. Its not bad to depict those things, obviously. But I also very rarely see art thats leaning into her masculinity, that emphasizes it. Even though she's clearly masculine, and she clearly LIKES that. She LIKES masculinity. Idk, maybe I'm just imagining it or overthinking shit but its been on my mind so im venting
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bettsfic · 3 months
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The cost of dreams
I decided a while ago that I would pursue publishing. But with constant critiques of my process and myself as a writer I feel like I’ve run my well dry. I no longer feel like I have a story to tell or that when I do come across something, I no longer feel that I’m good enough to tell that story. I have come to a point where I don’t write at all now.
I naturally have high standards for myself and as I worked to improve my craft and began to follow new authors who have gotten deals or have been agented, I’ve begun to feel like I’m not good enough. Like I’ll never get my work to be as good as my faves or that I’m too slow in my writing process, that’s why I’m not querying yet. Just spirals of thoughts that shoot at one’s confidence.
I felt like I was doing everything that a person who wants to be a professional writer should do. Have a set writing routine(write every week or have set word count goals every month), outline(not that there aren’t professional writers who are amazing pantsers but this was what I felt like I needed to do), and constantly pick at your story until it’s “perfect”.
I’m constantly worrying about what is my most authentic work, if all my work needs to have a big meeting, whether I should write contemporary, because a” good writer” can write in all genres.
I should just be able to handle the pressure and keep pushing. Writing isn’t always fun and if it’s my dream maybe there just need to be some sacrifices. Idk, maybe I’m just rambling.
I really don’t know what to do.
there are only two choices: you write, or you don't. if there's something you love as much as writing (not something you might love or have to search for, but some skill or occupation you enjoy just as much and gives you as much fulfillment), then go do that thing. you'll be able to write at the same time. maybe not as much, but you'll figure it out. if there's not, then the choice is made for you. you keep going, and all you can do is try not to look too far ahead. just look at the words as they arrive on the page and try to forget the big picture.
also, i don't know very many writers who publish in multiple genres. i don't even know very many writers who create narrators who aren't just self-inserts. most writers just write the same thing over and over again and package it in different ways. and if people like it, they keep selling it. remember that when you publish, you're creating a product to be sold. publication is a small thing that seems bigger than it is; the work is always what's important. finding joy in the craft is what's important. if you've lost that, your job is only to find it again. it can be your sole occupation, what you devote every second of your life to. there are few things greater than the pursuit of self-joy.
i'm sorry you're feeling this way though. i feel the same thing about 50% of the time, sometimes for months on end and sometimes just briefly. all the writers you're seeing with all their successes feel it too. i used to think there were a lot of things i could do with my life, and that if i put my mind to it, i could do anything. but the truth is that i can be okay at a lot of things that make me feel mildly accomplished, or i can try to be exceptional at one and find meaning in it.
but if none of this tracks, go read the books you're seeing deals for. read the book you're most envious of and see how bad it is. maybe not objectively, i mean it's probably decent, but i guarantee it will be flawed. or boring. or poorly written. or it may make you go, "how did this get published?" or, "i could do this better." most of this feeling you're having is fear that you're not good enough, and the way to face that fear is to read stuff that sucks. one of two things will happen: you'll feel better about yourself, or you'll find a book good enough to teach you something new. as your writing improves, as you acquire more accolades, the former becomes far greater than the latter, until one day you're dying to read writing that kicks your ass.
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Other theories I have about the conclusion to the Meursault arc, in no particular order and in varying degrees of conviction and likelihood:
Dazai believes he is not going to make it out of the prison and in fact thinks he is going to die. He says that he will make sure Sigma gets out but doesn't mention himself. Says his goal isn't to escape but to kill Dostoevsky. He's also being weirdly open about his emotions. Mind you, I think it would be odd if he were to actually die in this arc given that it doesn't make a lot of sense to me character-wise but. Idk.
Dostoevsky is not going to die this arc. Look, we still know nothing about him! I feel he's a much bigger threat than Fukuchi and that we're just barely scratching the surface with him. We know nothing about his ability, nothing about the V connection, nothing about what he's been setting up for apparently longer than most of the younger cast have been active. It can't end like this for him. In fact, he's the only one I'm adamant won't be killed in this arc.
Gogol is the true wildcard and may end up as a spanner in the works - he says he wants Dostoevsky dead but when Dazai or Chuuya or both gain the upper hand, he sways events to give Fyodor an advantage while brushing it off with "it's more interesting and entertaining like this". The real reason is that he doesn't actually want him dead at all. At the same time, I wonder if he might find Sigma and try to work with him to get the info he wanted. I seem to recall he wanted information on what Fyodor's ability was. Gogol is on no one's side. Let him be chaotic.
Sigma will manage to extract the information from Fyodor - as he cannot kill ability users with his own ability. Based on that one theory that Crime and Punishment only works on non-ability users, hence why Fyodor tricked Ace into killing himself and shot Catgirl with a gun. I wonder if Sigma, spurred on by a new burst of confidence, will take some initiative, figure it out (he's quite intelligent, actually, so I wouldn't put it past him), and get the information he needs.
Chuuya deflected the bullet shot at Catgirl so that it drew blood but did not kill her. Or Catgirl froze time long enough to make a plan with Chuuya. (*sob* i just don't want her to be dead)
They are able to use the info Sigma got to send it back to the Agency, thus wrapping up the DoA arc. However, Dostoevsky has gotten away, which means the four of them - Dazai, Sigma, Chuuya and Catgirl - need to go on a chaotic manhunt/road trip to find him. Chuuya is driving. He is livid at Dazai and is giving him the silent treatment while turning on the radio in the car with music he knows will annoy him. Dazai is shoved in the backseat between Sigma and Catgirl, pouting. Catgirl is revealed to be a kleptomaniac who keeps stealing stuff from them and all the places they stop at. She's not even supposed to be there she just enjoys the drama and the vibes. And poor Sigma does not want this at all but he has some moments where he and Chuuya get to talk and that's somewhat civil. Maybe they end up recruiting Adam for assistance. This makes no sense. :)
Gogol saves Dostoevsky because he doesn't really want him dead. This sends him into a crisis where he becomes more and more volatile and unpredictable. Terrible road-trip #2 electric boogaloo. Gogol keeps trying to kill him and becomes erratic, poisoning his drink, brandishing a knife, holding him at gunpoint. He tries to strangle him but cannot follow through. Fyodor does not care because for as long as Gogol's attachment exists, Fyodor is in control. Gogol knows that for as long as his attachment exists, he can never be free. I am aware this sounds like a screwed up fanfic premise. I want angst. :)
Dostoevsky put something in place for Chuuya on the off-chance that he managed to escape the brainwashing. There's no real evidence for this other than I think it makes some sense that Fyodor would have an emergency measure in place. Perhaps access to misleading information that might make him question things? Idk. Fyodor plays the long game. I want some real effects on the cast.
Got anything to add? :D
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lucid-ivory · 7 months
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COD men & equestrian reader
characters: ghost, soap, gaz, price & alejandro X female reader
genre: fluff, platonic, slight crack?
format: bullet headcanons/ bullet fanfic idk
summary: one of the operators of the task force seems to be *too* good at horse riding and it's the last thing they expected
notes: reader is young, this is for all the equestrians if there are any in this fandom😭 and characters may be a bit ooc + this is very long and VERY specific
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ghost
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has never ridden horses, wasn't planning on it
saw you as somebody interesting when he first saw you on a big horse
you seemed really confident so he just went along with it
little did he know
he was gangsta until you started cantering
like okay, maybe you just wanted to impress your teammates since everyone was watching
he knows shit about position, leg aids and all that so you could be doing anything wrong and he wouldn't realize
he slightly raises his eyebrows when he sees you approaching a big ass jump
like where u goin?????
it's one of those 1.30m oxers
he thinks you're taking it too far
he was already impressed by your skills, why would you jump that high
he's prepared to see you on the ground
obviously a horse goes faster the higher the jump is
the fact that you keep up with the animal is already making him feel like "huh?"
when he sees the horsey getting on his two legs and ready to jump he feels humbled
you're perfectly fine, you can keep up with the horse's speed and you seem proud of yourself
by this point it's already obvious that it wasn't your first time
now that he sees your confidence and level, he would like to see you jumping higher
he doesn't really know how high a horse can jump anyway
(for general knowledge, the record is 2,47meters)
after a few more small and bigger jumps, you go for one that's 1.50m
(which is usually the height of competitions)
you do it casually, enjoying the moment. the horse jumps well and looks sick as fuck, which equestrians call "scope"
so you yell out
"SCOPEY!"
smiling all wide and happy
he mishears it and thinks you're talking about somebody scoping with a sniper or something
everything is going smooth, the horse listens to you and you are humiliating many olympic riders because you are "y/n" and y/n is perfect
the horse is fast, very fast and you're going for the next jump again
but who is y/n without a bit of trouble
the horse refuses to jump, stopping abruptly right in front of the obstacle
but you stayed on because you're cool like that
it did "shake" you a little, you were preparing yourself for a jump after all
but your seat is great and you managed to control the horse
ghost was scared, not expecting the animal to stop at that speed
you knocked a few poles and he offered to put them back for you
you're a crazy bitch so you decided to ride a young horse
and young horses are sometimes spicy
bucking, rearing or getting scared for everything
he's surprised at how calm you look when the horse is like a bull around the arena
when you finally lose your balance and fall off, you manage to fall smoothly on your feet
he's scared, thought you were going to be hurt
"DID YOU SEE THAT?"
how were you so calm?
you just fell off
the horse is still bucking around the arena and you're laughing
soap
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i have 0 idea of scottish dialect
in fact i cannot understand it if a scottish person speaks to me so this will be hard
soap is next to ghost, he sees you jumping
you know the position riders do in order to jump? almost standing up and bending over the horse's neck
he checks you out for a milisecond when you do that
apart from that, he's impressed
why are you flying
how are you keeping yourself on the animal with only two irons on your feet and holding some leather in your hands
get down from there
you're just smiling while casually jumping 1.50m
when the horse stopped in front of the jump, he almost screamed
"shit"
he just murmured
smirked when he saw how you stayed on
gg well played
ghost put the poles up for you again after you knocked them down and smiles slightly as you struggle to convince the horse to jump
great horsemanship, or horsewomanship
you let the horse approach the jump and smell it so they calm down
he has no idea what's going on but he thinks you're very gentle for that
eventually you make it over that jump and he feels very happy for you!
then you fall off and he thinks it's badass how you fell on your feet
STANDING UP
so you get on again
when you're done jumping and you're trotting around, you want to show off
"did you see that, Lt?" he asks Ghost, and he simply nods.
while trotting, you play a little bit with the horse's controls
WASD to move shift to crouch ctrl to run ,,, jk
you start doing little dressage tricks
those ones that look so elegant and the horse is almost dancing
passage, piaffe, etc (look that up, it's BEAUTIFUL).
the horse is so cutely and smoothly bouncing and you're embracing the elegance
this is all probably happening while you're in your spec ops gear but it's okay
soap is surprised, ghost next to him simply admires
"why is the horse doin' that?"
he thinks it's pretty, but why and how would a horse move like that
"oh, you're telling him to do that?"
then he realizes you're the one using your legs and amazing skills to make the horse do all that
would like to see you in the classic equestrian competition look
gaz
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okay what the fuck
he now understands where all of your leg & core strength is coming from
mans is flabbergasted but secretly wants to keep looking at you
i headcanon that he did ride horses in one of those school trips maybe or something of sorts
and i don’t think he would want to do it again
when you’re about to fall at that speed in front of the jump he’s a bit scared for you, immediately feeling the relief when you’re still on and not on the ground
when you actually do fall but it’s obvious you didn’t get hurt he simply smiles
he knew it was going to happen
but then you got on the horse again and he was like ???
why?
he appreciates your enthusiasm but visibly relaxes when you stop jumping and you stick to a more slow pace
“are you trying to impress us?”
girl you were in full uniform geared up & everything and you casually made the horse do the most complex and supreme movements that literally any other rider would kill for
you DID NOT do that for your own pleasure
gaz did appreciate a little bit more the horse’s posture
y’know ‘collection’ and all that, when the horse walks all pretty with their head down
he was not as clueless as soap and that’s why he teased you
you simply giggled and he smiled in response
now…
why was the horse drifting how did you do that
the horse was casually trotting but you did a few subtle changes (that he didn’t see) and now the horse trots in diagonal
almost crossing his feet while trotting
HOW
he raises his eyebrows
he thinks that this is a useless trait for a soldier cuz i’m telling you no police horse does cute little steps like wth
but even if it’s a useless trait for a soldier, it’s a great ability for who he considers almost a sister
he’s very happy for you and constantly cheers you up and then may ask a question or two about how did you do that
the moment you start explaining technically with all the “WELL YOU PUT YOUR OUTSIDE LEG AND THEN THE HEAD HAS TO LOOK SLIGHTLY INTO THE INSIDE WITHOUT BENDING THE NECK—“ he gets scared
he thought it was easier
+10 appreciation because it really is hard
price
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let me tell you this man is almost shaking
he trusts your skills but he knows you're also young and you may not act responsible in order to just feel adrenaline or to impress somebody
while you jump, he holds his breath and then he releases it when you actually land perfectly
just like gaz, he relaxes a lot when you stick to the slower pace
he loves to see your reflexes in other contexts, such as riding
very proud of how you fell on your feet when the horse was bucking but appreciated it even more when you actually wanted to get on again
since this man is older i think he would have ridden horses in his golden era but not as in equitation, more like simply going for trail rides
he considers everyone in the team his little siblings, and since you appeared he may have this father instinct
he helps you with the stirrups and to tighten the girth
loves seeing you happy while riding, he thinks you deserve it knowing how young you are and how easier it is for you to get stressed with all the work
he tells everybody not to approach the horse's back because they may kick
"the horse has a green ribbon on his tail. he's young" he explains proudly to the rest of the team
(he didn't know shit about this, you told him about the ribbon meanings a while ago)
I HAVE THIS FEELING THAT HE WOULD RECORD YOU AND ACCIDENTALLY GET HIS FINGER ON THE CAMERA
this man would probably ride with you
"i don't need a saddle, i'm used to riding bareback"
he does need a saddle.
i feel like if he rides with you and he trots or something he would slightly hurt his back because his position wouldn't really be great
(there was a time where my back hurt like hell too because i didn't know how to canter properly LMAO)
would count strides with you between each jump
i feel like he would like english thoroughbreds
man worships secretariat probably (he'd be so real for that)
jockey potential
don't talk to him about technique
he genuinely thinks it's stressing
the whole "outside rein inside leg, shoulders back, chin up, heels down" shit is very much complex to him
he actually thinks that he would be able to race a horse
can't lie, i think so too (i almost fall while walking)
would pat the horse when you stand next to him
when you dismount, if you are the kind of person that kinda just throws themselves off the horse (i have no idea how to gently and normally dismount) he'll be behind you to slightly grab your waist or back to keep you in place in case you lose balance
ALL PLATONIC
when you're done riding he offers to keep you company while you go to the horses stall
he thinks the horse is following you because you're not holding the reins or anything and he's surprised at the bond between you and the animal
he doesn't know that YOU are actually following the horse because he just wants to go to his stall and eat
when the horsey starts eating, price would approach him and look at him
would be startled when the horse has his ears laying flat on his skull
horsey doesn't want anybody near his food
would help you carry the saddle
if he's brave enough he will try and give a carrot to the horse
if you start picking the hooves after riding, he would be slightly concerned
"does this hurt the horse"
he is like a man proud of his daughter
100% would go to see you in competitions
alejandro
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GRRRRRRRR
"vamos, vaquera!"
he would constantly try to cheer you up and would smile widely while you do your "little" jumps
would probably prefer western riding because y'know... los vaqueros
he would probably crush on you a little
i feel like he saw showjumping many times but he is still surprised to see a horse jumping that high in person
i think he's almost the only one that isn't scared when he sees you jumping. if you approach the big jumps so confidently then you know what you're doing
he would actually want to ride with you too, he's so excited
wants to feel like a true vaquero and the first step is riding a horse
i'm sure he focuses on your legs and sees the aids and cues you give to the horse to make different tricks or play with his speed
he looks at your posture and everything like he knows about it or something
he's the kind of person that would surprise you
horses tend to follow each other so whatever you do with your horse, his horse does it with him.
you look back at him when you are both cantering and you smile AT HOW GOOD HE IS
his hips sway back and forth smoothly following the horse's back
his lower leg moves a little but nothing too serious
you felt like he was really close to jumping the 1.50 and reveal he was a showjumper too or something
and the rest of the team didn't expect alejandro to be so good either
you lower the jumps to like 0.50m and you both try to jump
he doesn't jump it perfectly, but he doesn't fall either
impressive for a beginner
trust me he did try to ride your horse and do the same dressage tricks as you but it didn't really work
quickly dismounted after that, he saw the horse bucking and doesn't wanna fall off
after that, i feel like he would get more interested in barrel racing and other western disciplines
he wants to take off the helmet and ride with those cowboy hats.
(saveahorserideacowboy)
you don't let him do that
dangerous D:
he appreciates it, thinks you care a lot for him
he thinks riding together is a new form of bonding for you two.
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that was long, i warned all of you
please remember that my requests are open and i'd love to see and write what anyone says!
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resident-gay-bitch · 6 months
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kinda a niche au concept but i think a lot of people will get it but also it’s so random lol: corroded coffin friendship / steddie / buckingham / more lol
okay, my dad watches car shows all the time like the car sos shit, and i don’t really like them, but i’ve always enjoyed one: Counting Cars. the main mechanic is like a metalhead and they’re all kinda punky and alternative and just a bunch of metalhead dads pimping out old cars and shit.
henceforth, the au idea: how are you seeing how our beloved eddie might fit into this?
SO say CC got big enough to be known kinda western globally or whatever, maybe bigger idk i don’t care but anyway. maybe they were a one hit wonder in the 80/90’s or whatever.
but they stopped playing because they all kinda wanted to settle down and stop partying and wanted to buy houses and not have to tour all the time or whatever right. say gareth met a girl and got married to her and they had a kid on the way, jeff and grant wanted to settle down and live a cosy steady life together, eddie was just so fucking tired of being front man idol or whatver. and they all just wanted to get back into the mechanic shop - maybe they all apprenticed at thatcher tyers or whatever in hawkins when they were younger.
whatever the reason, they’re ex-famous band who are pretty ficking rich and love working on cars and shit. so they open a shop and start fixing up cars. they get a lot of rapport because of their name; the shops called corroded cars or something similar to the band name. eddie runs the place because it’s mostly his passion and he impulse bought the shop himself whilst drunk one night and then they were all just like okay yeah let’s do this lol.
maybe one night they’re all chilling at gareth’s place for “family” dinner and after dinner they’re just watching telly and a car show comes on and then they get the idea to start a show!!! so they do!!!
eddie’s the main guy, obviously. he’s always been the drama queen confident one so he runs it all, and it’s His shop anyway. eddie is the idiotic, loveable, idiot but he’s also just a cool down to earth alternative guy who headbangs whilst working on engines and REFUSES to cut his hair.
i think jeff would be the head painter, graphic artist,. i feel such an arty vibe from him ya know? i think that would be his area of expertise. the audience would love his general calm vibe but also adore how easily he puts everyone in their place in a second and is so secretly sassy.
i think argyle would be the airbrush guy and also works in paint / design. he’s Definitely not always high and is just funny like that… definitely. his niche opinions and random curiosities keep the audience captivated.
gareth would be the detailer i think. he’s got a sort of perfectionist vibe and he’d always have a go when eddie brings in a car or a bike he’s just been fixing the motor of or whatever and there’s grease stains all over the doors and shit. the audience would love their banter.
grant would be the bike shop manager, he’s got a strong interest in motorbikes and that’s his area of expertise. he’ll spend hours perfecting one part of the body of a bike and eddie adores his dedication every fuckinf time.
jonothan would be the tech guy. he finds ways to update old cars to help them run smoothly whilst feeling authentic in the drive. some of the tech he pulls out is next level and everyone in the shop will spend an entire episode gushing about this one feature in a car he added that makes it feel like a spy car or something.
Nancy!! she’d be the behind the scenes manager. eddie hired her about one month into the buisiness when he realised none of the CC guys could / or wanted to do the books and shit. she’s smart as hell and a total hard ass when it comes to their aloof attitude and carelessness, but she’s also good fun and a total girlboss. eddie relies on her to keep the shop afloat, he’d be lost without her. she’s a fan favorite because she’s the only one who can attempt to put eddie in his place and acctually succeed. anyone goes and tells eddie he needs to think about the budget before he goes spending, he won’t even listen, she gives him one look and tells him no and suddenly he’s sheepish and nodding and walking away like a child who was told they can’t have a cookie. she’s in charge of all the books / finance / accounts / all that stuff!
(also, people are having a hard time figuring out if she’s dating john or argyle, or weather those guys are dating eachotjer, or if they’re all dating, or if None of them are dating)
Chrissy!! she’s adorable. a total fan favorite. she’s their receptionist and is currently taking an engineering course part time in college, finally taking the initiative to do something She actually wants to do. her sweet demeanour pulls customers and watchers in, and her determined attitude is what makes them stay. she’s like pure sugar, but so insanely smart. sometimes she’ll come and watch everyone as they work and if it’s not busy they’ll teach her different things and let her try. everyone loves the episodes where chrissy gets to try and fix things or paint things or learn things!
ROBIN!!! my girl! ugh! she’s TOTALLY an iconic mean lesbian okay. she’s always got banter with the guys, and she’s so cool calm and clllected, insulting them all the time. the girls in the audience go crazy when she’s onscreen in just a wife beater tank and got them gay girl muscles out! she works close with eddie on motors and shit but she’s also the project scout. she looks for new things for them to try and brings these ideas / cars / bikes / whatever else over to eddie to get out into the show! but the audience loves her even more when they see her totally awkward dorky side come out the first episode where chrissy comes over and watches robin work. they’ve never seen robin drop a spanner so much! chrissy is the only one who can fluster robin like that. the audience is rooting for their romance.
and the steddie! so robins totally uber rich best friend likes collecting old cars. and she’s been trying to get him on the show for a while because he has Such cool cars but he’s never needed fixing or pimping. until he goes and buys another one and it just won’t run and it’s all beaten down but he just HAD to buy it because it was his dream car as a little kid or something. so he comes on the show with his car and - well, the main reason he’s been avoiding it because he actually used to crush on lead guitarist and vocalist eddie munson back in the 90’s - eddie obviously being the face of the show greets him with nancy and robin and they talk about his car and eddie gets Flustered!
robin has a totally hot best friend whos So ficking queer And knows heaps about cars and is standing so close, shoulders touching with eddie as he shows pictures of his collection on his phone and eddie pretends he’s looking at the cars and not steve’s ring adorned hands.
steve is also highly protective of his cars and so he hangs around whilst they work on his ride. he and robin are so chatty and bitchy together and the audience love it. and eddie can’t stop Staring!!
by episode three of steve being featured in it people are posting shit trying to notify steve and robin that eddie is so gay for steve!
and then steve’s car is done and done and then he leaves the show. and then a couple of episodes later robin approaches eddie and whispers - but the cameras are right there - to eddie asking if he has been perving on her best friend and it’s So funny to everyone cause eddie’s kinda terrified and she’s threading to burry him alive if he hurts her steve and- eddie goes red when he realises that robin just confirmed he had a chance with steve.
anyway. suddenly steve has Many more appearances on the show :)
and obviously robin and chrissy get together!!’
and no one ever finds out about the love triangle between nancy jon and argyle (they’re all polly)
anyway. i just think that’s cute.
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nogenderbee · 28 days
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♡˗ˏ✎*ೃ˚ 𝔹𝕒𝕕 𝕤𝕜𝕒𝕥𝕖𝕣 ₊˚ˑ༄
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*ੈ✩‧₊˚ @akitosheart request: Idk if ur requests are open but can I ask for a Tsukasa Tenma x reader and they go both to skating?, and reader basically doesn’t know how to skate so they had to use whatever that trainer hold is called, while reader is just skating around… they crashed into Tsukasa’s arms? Romantic btw
*ੈ✩‧₊˚ They indeed were when you requested so we're good! Also, I THINK you didn't specify what type of skating sooo I choosed ice-skating since that's my bigger passion! Hopefully it's not a problem and you'll still like it! ^^
*ੈ✩‧₊˚ fluff
Affiliation with @virtualbookstore
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Winter started and Tsukasa was hyped to go on ice-skating date, and you didn't had the heart to disagree... You warned him you can't really skate but he didn't mind! So if that wasn't a problem... you decided to give it a try after all.
On the day of your day, you were under impression by how well your boyfriend could skate... maybe he couldn't do any tricks but the fact he could just speed through the rink in under a minute impressed you enough... Meanwhile you decided to take last ice-skating trainer and try not to fall with it's help.
Tsukasa was actually right next to you this entire time! He skated slightly behind you to assure you, even if you fall, he'll catch you. And he was rambling entire circles too, so you didn't even had time for negative thoughts!
But then... some mother with child approached you asking for the ice-skating trainer you were using... she was very polite and she had one more kid to watch out after... and it seemed like she was a single mother too. Your boyfriend tho, knew you needed it and was about to decline, but you jumped in to answer a bit faster than him.
"Yeah... sure thing. Here you go."
You gave her the ice-skating trainer and now was left with Tsukasa who was looking at you surprised and also a bit worried
"Huh? Are you sure? Didn't you said you can't skate? Are you gonna be alright?"
"Well... I need to finally learn how to skate!"
"I guess... alright! I'll be your ice-skating trainer then!!"
And then he began skating backwards!? It was slow, yes but still even more impressive... but he used that to hold your hands so you could have additional support.
"There we go! You're doing great! You won't even need any support soon!"
"Heh... thanks..."
Feeling a bit confident thanks to his words and how well you were doing, your confidence rised, making you take the risk you never really did previously.
"Mind if I try?"
"If you're sure... of course! I won't be far!"
He kept his word and skated back just a little bit, so he could still catch you if you fall. You on the other hand were doing pretty good at the start! But then, you moved your skate just a bit too much to it's tip... which lead to you falling down...
But instead of your face meeting cold, hard ice, it was met with something much softer and warmer! You were almost at the end to getting to Tsukasa, so despite it being a quick fall, you fell right into his arms!
"Good job!! See? I knew you could do it!"
"What do you mean...? I feel!"
"Everyone fall sometimes! Me too! But you still went long way, trust me!"
He smiled down at you and held you steadily. He looked genuinely proud! Not like he was just fakely trying to make you feel better... it actually felt like he knew how much you must've struggled and was proud of both, the risk you took and how well you did in the end.
﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌
@bleachtheidiot @akitosheart @bad-the-an-enjoyer @yulikesminori @alicewinterway18 @nenes-numberonefan - come get your future star~
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justatalkingface · 9 months
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what's your opinion on the big 3? When I was hyperfoxed on this series they were the thing I care Abt the most (I enjoyed season 4, obv I'd change some stuff now but I still remember it being atleast ok)
I hate how dirty they did my girl nejire, as far as I'm aware they didn't even do anything with her after the whole pagent thing she just got a small backstory about how she was sad (don't know all of it I haven't been keeping up that well w the manga)
mirios not having a quirky and having to save eri (a girl who I can't imagine would be that skilled at the age she is and has been training on lizards to give his quirk back all together, I'd imagine it taking a few more months but bnhas time is shit so) and coming back in the war arc to punch one person and then basically do noting iicr
The only decently written one was amajiki, I wish they had more going on I think they have a fun dynamic (w them helping taking care of eri and me rlly liking idk what it's called but I love the fluff it brings) :(
Lots of mixed feelings, in all honesty. Lots of mixed feelings.
I'll admit, a big part of my mixed feelings about them is they showed up as the latest, 'Stomp on Izuku's everything' at the point in the story where it was becoming obvious that there was always something stomping on Izuku, and that gave me a bad first impression on them I've never been able to shake... which isn't helped by how they're connected to the clusterfuck of Nighteye, of all people, which is kind of my whole thing with Mirio (warning; I am biased):
As a person, he's obviously nice, but as a character, basiclly his entire reason for existing was, 'give Izuku an existential crisis' and I don't think I've ever forgiven him for that, really. His entire character is just bigger, stronger, older, happier, more capable, more confident, more successful, more loved Izuku, who had a Quirk his whole life and only had to dig deep to find out how strong it, and he, was all along.
Unironically. It's....
It's a really bad look, to be blunt; he feels kind of like a bad fanfiction character written by a bad writer who wanted to put their super special OC in the story, except he's canon.
Since we've never seen him even think something unheroic, there's really nothing that distinguishes him from that impression factual statement, which, again, makes it hard for me to give a shit about him, or even remember him... which is a problem Hori seems to share, lol. It doesn't help that I loathe Sir Nighteye and that most of his development time is spent admiring him, to boot, and that his parts of the story are either empty or focused on a living plot device I can't quite like no matter how hard I try because of how blatant the emotional manipulation is about the biggest story breaking, SOD shattering plot device until Stars and Stripes showed up.
If he ever got any kind of development to flesh him out a human being rather than being either Izuku and/or a heroic archetype, it'd help, but beyond all of that his biggest personality trait is liking jokes, and that barely even comes up. Or, rather, considering both the Final Arc and his response to Bakugou's name, along with Nighteye's own tendencies, 'jokes', maybe.
He doesn't deserve it, I admit it, it's not his fault, but I just can't get past that. He also doesn't deserve to just be forgotten until his big moment of a butt joke, but... MHA, everyone. In all honesty, I'd just like him better if his entire story arc didn't exist in and as some of the worst parts of the Overhaul arc, but he's tainted by that fact.
I freely admit that I am unfairly biased against him, so take all of that with a mountain of salt.
As a side note though, god, the story doesn't seem to realize how badly Nighteye is using the poor kid; Mirio thinks Nighteye is training him because he's worthy, while Nighteye mainly seems to be doing it because he's the closest thing to an All Might clone he can get, bar him actually cloning All Might, even if he grew to like him for who he is. I'm not sure Nighteye ever thought of Mirio with just his Quirk as anything more than a temporary situation; even at the start of canon, when on his own merits he's rising to fame with how successful he is, Nighteye's overall focus is still about getting AFO into the kid.
I almost wish I could see Nighteye explaining how all of his training came down to getting All Might's Quirk, just to see MIrio react and tear Nighteye down a peg about it, except Hori's history of handling these kinds of things means he'd never be allowed to be properly offended on his own behalf, the poor bastard.
Moving on, Tamaki. Out of all of them, he's had the biggest of an on-screen story arc, and in a intellectual way his Quirk is easily the most interesting. Unfortunately, while he has a personality, it feels so bland at times that he's far easier to remember for his Quirk than who he is.
I liked his story, really, but at the time it was overshadowed by Mirio and his everything, and by the time he showed back up it was clear how irrelevant it and he was, so it was more about how (admittedly, very) cool he get his Quirk to be than it was about him, and with some brutal honesty, it's probably because his Quirk is so interesting that he even got that much focus beyond that initial arc by Hori.
And... Nejirie.
In a combat sense she's easily the best of them, really; Mirio is almost purely defensive, which limits him (especially if he's not surprising someone with it) while Tamaki's Quirk, while flexible, is so conditional in ways that can easily hold him back (we only ever see him fight with full preparation; if he's not gearing for a fight he'd be easy to ambush), and like a lot of things in the Final Arc, his big laser canon thing is.... questionable.
Nejirie, though, is just simply powerful. In a setting where everyone has one power and one main application of that power, where you either fly or blast things, but not both, she's the closest I've seen to a 'traditional' super hero, like you'd see in Marvel or DC.
At the same time, though, out of the three of them she least has a story, for obvious reasons, and it's a disgrace, really. If Hori had just spent some time on her, on the her backstory that apparently exists (yeah, I'm not sure where that is either), she could have been so interesting... but really, all she is is the Girl Teammate. Her personality traits are The Girl Teammate's personality traits. She's just The Girl Teammate stamped over all of the interesting stuff, and it's such a waste, it really is.
And finally, as a unit? The Big Three is a shiny toy that Hori forgot in the corner somewhere as soon as he got bored with it. He spent a few minutes oohing and aahing over them, focusing really hard on developing interesting powers, how they could be used, and how strong they were, only to start to lose interest as soon as those powers were established, and he was writing the three of them off before their introductory arc was even over.
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desceros · 2 months
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i don’t think you have to apologize at all for not having a symphony update tbh! it’s very gracious of you to do so but i hope people remember that it’s your passion project first and foremost and not anything any of us readers (regardless of how involved or invested you allow us to be) should feel we have any say over, schedule wise. i love your writing and will always wait for it, and know a lot of your other readers will probably say the same!
(as an aside: something i noted when i first started following you in december was how prolific you were… like the fact i could check your blog every day and there was some food?? i was floored. but even your current posting sched impresses me—the fact that you say you’ll have something out one day and on that day IT IS OUT. idk maybe i am used to my old fandoms being more casual or being interrupted by life, as fandoms with adults tend to be like. so you writing and sharing as much as you do is not something i take for granted. thank you as always.)
(i hope this message reads as appreciative / friendly as i intend it to be hhhh… i’m sorry if not…)
thank you for your kind message! i have a rather long one in return, i do apologize, but it is me, so we should probably have all seen it coming! :D
so, i've kind of talked about it here and there, but i have a wrist that is pretty sensitive to overworking. in high school, i would practice music for hours and hours every day without properly stretching or taking breaks, because no one told me i should do so. as a result, i really wrecked the tendons, and my ulnar nerve in particular has a tendency to flare up. it's quite painful when it hurts, and before it starts properly hurting, i experience i kind of buzzing numbness that is distinctly uncomfortable. it's not severe enough for surgical intervention, but it's definitely a limiting factor in what i'm capable, mechanically, of doing in a day.
back around november/december, i was posting a lot more. but that was with me disregarding my wrist and pushing through the pain, such that for the first couple of weeks in january it was nearly impossible for me to write. this was emotionally agonizing, because i love writing so, so much, and i wanted to share everything in my head with all of you! i felt like i was failing on a precedent i had set for myself, and it's very irritating seeing my mountain of projects getting bigger because i can't write quickly enough to put a dent in it and not just because i was coming up with more ideas (which is, to be clear, still suuuuch a problem haahahhaa).
it got to the point where i started confiding in my partner and my friends about my issue, and they all insisted that i start slowing down. and they're right! i was being reckless with my health, knowingly this time, and they're absolutely correct that i need to take breaks. take days where i don't write. days where i rest, and stretch, and let my wrist heal and recover.
i know it sucks as a reader, i really do, especially if you came on board during that time when i was being super active. and i'm not apologizing, per se, since i'm certainly not going to apologize for prioritizing health over hobby. but i do understand the... hm. i'm going to say frustration, but perhaps i mean the disappointment, or the whiplash maybe, from having someone going from posting very very frequently to less so. i'm still what i'd categorize as an active, prolific writer, but it is infuriating to know that, without this injury, i'd be capable of much more. it annoys me to no end, i swear! but i am purposefully stepping back, for my health, and for the worry of my friends and love ones.
all that said! nothing is on hiatus, nothing is being cancelled, none of that. it's just going to take me longer to work through things than any of us would like, hahahaha. so i really do thank you for your sweet and encouraging message, and i appreciate all of you for every thoughtful wish you send, all of your funny comments on my fics, and your support. i'm actually getting to the happy problem that there are so many that it's not quite feasible for me to respond to all of them individually, but i do read and treasure each one. this is the most uplifting, positive fandom i've ever experienced, and it really does make a difference as a writer knowing that people are filled with joy when i share my art and then go and spin that joy back out into the world.
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