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#i have some sources of stress—i won’t say that doesn’t exist—
l-cereta · 7 months
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How to explain the kind of loneliness I’ve felt in touch with this weekend: I don’t want to have to ask permission to hug someone, I want to hold and be held.
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messiahzzz · 2 months
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while it’s perfectly fine to have your own headcanons that are non-canon compliant — by all means, go wild. recognizing pieces of yourselves in fictional characters can be a very healing and validating experience. this is nonetheless a casual, well-intentioned reminder that gale, in fact, does not have bpd.
bpd is a pervasive pattern of instability affecting interpersonal relationships, self-image, and mood. the disorder is marked by impulsivity beginning in early adulthood and is present in a variety of contexts. a diagnosis requires at least 5 of the following 9 criteria to be met:
Fear of abandonment
Unstable or changing relationships
Unstable self-image; struggles with identity or sense of self
Impulsive or self-damaging behaviors (e.g., excessive spending, unsafe sex, substance abuse, reckless driving, binge eating).
Suicidal behavior or self-injury
Varied or random mood swings
Constant feelings of worthlessness or sadness
Problems with anger, including frequent loss of temper or physical fights
Stress-related paranoia or loss of contact with reality
source: [x]
i highlighted the criteria that do apply to gale in one way or another in a pretty purple.
i personally believe that it’s rather harmful to equate his relationship with mystra with her being “his fp”. she is a deity, his goddess, and the source of his powers, who is in in full control of the magic he wields.
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gale: mystra commands all magic. salvation, if such a thing exists, is hers to bestow or withhold.
gale has been effectively groomed and conditioned to serve and revere her at every turn since early childhood. imo this comparison really undermines a lot of crucial points in gale’s story that deal with his overall trauma and abuse. after all, you wouldn’t call shar sh*dowhe*rt’s fp either.
gale doesn’t revile mystra, nor does he commit benevolent deeds solely motivated by the secret hope that she will somehow notice and take him back. when you meet gale in the game he has already fully come to terms with the fact that he has been abandoned by mystra with no hope of reconciliation whatsoever. he also had some very fitting lines in ea regarding this topic that i'm sad haven't been repurposed in the full release in some way.
gale: [the tadpoles] don't know that some things are impossible. they don't know that... they don't know. player: what is impossible about what you're being shown? gale: forgiveness. gale: it is mystra i see. and yet it cannot be her. there was a time when i would have believed - but no longer. gale: suffice it to say she would not bestow upon me the favors promised in these dreams. that is how i know they are delusions.
he has already reached the stage of acceptance. moreover, gale only starts to realize that mystra might have been in the wrong for requesting his death once the tadpole squad & tav speak some sense into him. and even then he doesn’t ever show that his emotions regarding mystra are anywhere along those lines. he is instead rightfully angered that she only saw value in his death, after he had been worshipping her loyally for years.
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gale: i worshipped mystra loyally for years, and in that time she granted me the barest sliver of the power i was ready to wield. gale: even with the fate of the world at stake, she had little more to offer me than the means of blowing myself up at a more convenient time. she's done nothing to help us.
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gale: you abandoned me in my hour of greatest need. i had no obligation to help you in yours. gale: because you had no right to ask that of me. you cast me out, remember?
gale doesn’t display rapid changes in mood either. he is a character who is generally very composed and has been known to remain nonchalant even in the face of utter horror. tim downie himself even commented on this once. source: [x]
the only instance i can think of is his sudden switch from resigned-to-death to utter-eye-sparkling-enthusiasm once he spots the crown of karsus. apart from crucial story reasons that i won’t touch upon in this post, i’d also like to add that it’s a rather common phenomenon for people who have just barely survived a suicide attempt to suddenly be filled with zeal and unbridled energy. he doesn't display impulsivity without thorough consideration when it comes to its acquisition either. he considers this a golden opportunity and is positively enthusiastic and elated that this might prove an alternative to him ending up in a cloud of netherese smoke. nonetheless, he knows what he is doing. evident in him actually succeeding in ascending in one of his endings.
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gale: this is no passing whim, trust me. if i can obtain that crown, it will affect us all. it is not a decision i'll take lightly. gale: it's our future that i'm thinking of - we can't rely on anyone else to do it for us. gale: for now - we've learned all we can.
neither are his relationships that we do know of (namely elminster, tara, and morena) frequently changing. they are marked by years of mutual respect, care, and consistency. there is nothing unstable about them. while it's important to note that his relationship with tav is still in its honeymoon stages during the main game, there is no inclination of any push-and-pull dynamic between them whatsoever.
gale isn’t preoccupied with keeping up some sort of benevolent act in order to win (back) affection — he genuinely IS a good person and he proves this at every turn. moreover, to have a tressym become your familiar you must be of Good alignment.
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(taken from tumblr user galedekarios's post.)
there is never a moment where his ideals or alignment suddenly change. in fact, i’d argue that he and wyll are most consistent in this regard when compared to the rest of the companions. gale makes his moral standpoint very clear from the beginning on and also explicitly states that he believes that in order to survive this entire ordeal it would be selfish of him if he wouldn’t be willing to compromise on his morals. this isn’t a sudden bout of ✨muahahaha wizard hubris✨ that he barely contained to hold in before, this is yet another act of selflessness — it is what he’s willing to do for the group and subsequently, the welfare of faerun.
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player: i love unsavoury things. don't feel guilty on my account. gale: that's good to know. although i should say i do what i do out of a sense of utility and pragmatism, not a love of the unsavoury. gale: we're up against the greatest threat faerun has ever faced. i don't mind getting my hands dirty if it gives us a better chance of surviving. gale: whatever advantage i can gain for us. i will. and i refuse to feel guilty for it, no matter how much mystra's chidings might echo in my skull.
this is him, once again trying to be useful in whatever way he can. to give them an advantage, a slither of hope against seemingly impossible odds, so they might make it out of this in one piece. gale wouldn’t approve of those actions under normal circumstances, but their predicament is as far from any definition of “normal” as it can get.
gale is no fool, he realizes this is essentially about survival. he knows that he has no option left other than to tolerate, which is why he can be convinced to not immediately depart tav’s company even if they choose to commit atrocities. this is no character flaw of his or him displaying a previously dormant openness for cruelty, this is about recognizing the necessity.
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player: you don't stand a chance alone. you're free to go. i dare you. gale: gods damn you - you're right. few things are more powerful than the will to live.
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gale: i thought the orb to be the greatest of my sins, but i see now that there are darker depths to which i might yet sink. you may be content to sink into that abyss, but i assure you - i am not.
gale doesn’t lead a split existence. he has a very strong sense of identity. he knows what he wants, what he doesn’t want and he isn’t shy in expressing his boundaries either. which he has especially shown when it comes to his relationship with tav. i originally had intended to touch upon this in another post entirely but: i firmly believe his entire Gale of Waterdeep™ persona is more of a performance than him struggling to find a sense of identity and trying them on for size. it is an intentional decision to separate gale dekarios from the great wizard of waterdeep, to create distance and make sure his family name remains untarnished in case things should ever go sideways.
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gale: i agree. and on the plus side, if i get myself into any truly cataclysmic straits during the remainder of our journey, my family name will go untarnished.
there is also a deep-rooted feeling of unworthiness and his firm belief that love and praise are conditional resources that he will only be granted through his talents alone, naturally. presenting himself as gale dekarios, the man, would mean highlighting his shortcomings and very human flaws, while distracting from the aspects of himself that are deemed praiseworthy, the ones that actually matter: his magical prowess.
i personally believe that part of the beauty of gale’s story is him realizing just how “little” it takes for him to be truly content. he gets his happy ending, with someone at his side who truly sees him, understands him and unabashedly commits to him. they worship and adore him in return — and it is well deserved. he isn’t reduced to be constantly and restlessly searching for some unattainable ideal to fill the gaping void within himself. he doesn’t secretly thirst for more power still or believes that in being with tav he is settling for something. instead, he is finally happy to just be. be and be accepted. teaching a class of unruly wizards and coming home to his spouse each day already fulfills him.
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gale: that's how i feel with you - content. it's a rather unfamiliar feeling, i must say. not something gale of waterdeep ever craved.
even if he doesn’t pursue a romance with tav, he reaches a realization of “oh, it appears i am not irredeemably flawed and only able to reach true redemption through my own death. what i needed was actually with me all along.” throughout their journey and through his friend's support. i think that’s a very powerful and comforting message. he is very well capable of finding peace within himself.
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devnotes: his default state is that he returned to waterdeep and became a professor of illusory magic at his former school, blackstaff academy. general vibe here is that this is a gale who's found peace with himself - he's a great teacher, one his students are mostly in awe of.
to repeat myself: sharing your headcanons is all in good fun, nor should you ever be discouraged from doing so. this is your personal tumblr experience, after all. but i personally think we should be mindful of unintentionally perpetuating negative stereotypes, such as narcissism being a general indicator or being deemed a classic depiction of bpd. i think we can all agree that the continuous longing for acceptance, connection, praise, and approval is something we all have in common deep down, regardless of whatever disorder we may have. [insert victoria justice meme here]
gale may be many things to many people, but he is no entitled narcissist.
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scorpiongrassfield · 6 months
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You Have To Tell Him
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It just doesn’t seem right not to say something about it. 
The question now is how do you break it to him gently. 
Pat has said you’re not very good at this sort of thing, and you certainly feel like you aren’t. 
But you know Pat won’t help you with this one, so here you go. 
“So… The connection you share with the shadow is a little. Different,” you hedge. 
“Oh?” 
“We, or I, I guess, think that the shadow might have… possessed you. Just a little bit,” you say. 
A glance at Pat reveals that they’re covering their face with a hand, head tilted down slightly. 
“How does one get possessed ‘just a little bit’?” Theo asks, looking more intrigued than anything. 
“You aren’t possessed all the time. And it doesn’t stay for long. Just long enough to drop some cryptic advice or ask us to be careful,” you explain. 
“You’re taking this surprisingly well,” Pat says. 
“Ah. Sorry. I’m just. Not really feeling my emotions very well at the moment,” Theo says, looking apologetic. 
“That's not something you need to apologize for,” Pat assures him. 
“Oh. Okay, thank you,” Theo says, returning to his drawing. 
“How sure are you that the shadow is not harming me?” he asks after a beat. 
“Pretty sure,” you say. 
“Why?” 
You pause. You aren’t really entirely sure why. 
“It… kind of reminds me of you, in some ways. I don’t know if that’s a byproduct of the possession or not, but… yeah. You seem like similar people. That and it’s supposed to be a guardian, supposed to protect people. I can’t imagine it would hurt you,” you eventually explain. 
“Oh, how are we similar?” 
Well they both have this sense of lost helplessness about them when they’re stressed. But you’re pretty sure that would be rude to say. 
“It sounds like you do when Pat isn’t around,” you eventually decide on. 
Theo looks like a deer in headlights. 
Pat’s got an eyebrow raised. “Does he act different when I’m not around?” Then they pause. “Sorry it’s rude to talk about you like that right in front of you. You act different when I’m not around?” 
Theo is not partially hiding behind the sketchbook, which does not work well because it is very small. 
“Well. I… Yes I suppose so. It’s just that you’re very um… You’re very cool. And that makes me a little nervous, I suppose,” Theo manages to say eventually. 
“Aw, that’s sweet. I promise I don’t bite though, kid,” Pat says, coming to give Theo a pat on the shoulder. 
“You don’t get nervous around me, though?” you ask. 
Theo shakes his head, “Not as much, no. Not because I don’t think you’re cool, though I think maybe cu- uh actually no I’m not saying that. But, um, you just put me at ease somehow. It’s like we’re old friends who have known each other for a long time, sometimes,” he fumbles to explain. 
Your stomach sinks. You refuse to allow that to sound familiar. You’re not thinking about it right now. 
“You’re really not scared about the possibility of being possessed?” Pat prods. 
Theo shrugs. “I… think I would prefer it if he asked first, but if we’re sure he hasn’t done anything untowards… what’s a small favor to my fellow ghost here and there?” 
Pat is looking at Theo like there's something wrong with him, but Theo has his eyes fixed firmly on the paper of the sketchbook, so he does not seem to notice. 
That all went better than you thought it would. 
You put connections between Theo and the shadow up on the board. 
“There’s also another connection between Theo and all this,” Pat says as they approach the board. 
“What’s that?” Theo asks. 
Concrete jumps up onto the arm of his chair and he readjusts so the cat can sit on his lap. 
“Well, according to my sources, your house exists in what may either be some weird parallel world, or someone else’s soul,” Pat explains. 
They fish your drawing of the cabin out of the pile of papers and pin it up, connecting it to everyone except themself. 
“Their soul…” Theo echoes. 
“Speaking of souls, I don’t know if you know this, Theo, but your body isn’t actually here right now. It’s more of a projection of your soul than anything,” Pat says. 
“Is that so?” Theo asks. He’s focused on petting Concrete. 
“It is,” Pat confirms. 
There’s a strange tension in the air. You can’t quite place the cause though. 
“The cabin in the woods is strange. It looks like this one on the outside, but the inside can get kind of twisted. Also…” you trail off. 
“Also?” Pat prompts. 
“Sometimes Ametrine manages to get control of it somehow? I’m not sure what triggers it but sometimes the cabin… bites me,” you say. 
“Really…?” Pat says, half-disbelieving. 
You nod. 
“Um. I’ve finished the portrait,” Theo says, pulling your attention to him. 
“Would either of you like to come take it from me? I don’t want to disturb Concrete,” he says after another moment. 
Concrete is purring heavily, eyes closed in contentment. 
“Yeah that’s reasonable,” Pat says. They take the sketchbook from Theo and tear the sketch out along the perforation. 
It’s a nice drawing. His style really is pretty. And he managed to catch you looking shy somehow. 
Pat pins it up on the board in the spot they designated. 
“Very nice work Theo,” Pat praises. 
“Oh. Thank you,” Theo says. 
It feels so strange, looking at an image of yourself. You don’t like it. 
“So,” Pat says, drawing your and Theo’s attention. 
“This seems like a good time to solve one of our mysteries. Sylv here has been traveling into someone’s soul on and off lately,” they explain. 
“And it’s not my own, probably,” you add. 
Pat nods. 
“And whoever’s soul this is happens to have your house inside it. And the cell phone that fell out of your pocket when you got pushed. And a mysterious shadow that bares some resemblance to you,” they explain. 
And oh. You think you see where Pat is going with this… 
“Well. I suppose that would imply that this shadow has some significant connection to me then, yes,” Theo agrees. 
“I think I know what’s going on,” you say. 
Pat doesn’t look surprised. 
Theo also seems remarkably calm. 
What will you say?
Next
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This repost is just for me to keep an archive. It's an answer from this convo.
I’m not a specialist in genetics so I won’t talk about recessive or dominant genes but in term of sociology and historical perceptive the purity bloodline theme even if it’s not discuss directly in the fiction it’s implicitly the case. let’s not forget Naruto is strongly based on Japanese culture, folklore and religion. Being a fiction doesn’t mean popping up out of the blue. The fiction just put more fantasy and magic for the sake of entertainment on practices already existing in reality. In ancient japan, endogamous marriage were not the norm but permitted specially in aristocratic circle or in rural area wishing to preserve some secret knowledges.
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I’m sorry I couldn’t find an english version so here is my very rough translation of the anthropologist Emmanuel Todd about Origin of family system (2011)
1- Marriage between cousins : The japanese descent family is distinguished from the german and the korean one by a slight endogamous tendency. Marriage between cousins is not forbidden in rural traditional Japan. After the second world war, in a society highly industrialised the global percentage of marriage between cousin 1st degree is 7.2%. A number, although not important, can be compared to Europe with a number inferior to 1% at the same period.
2- High aristocracy from Heian Era gravitating around the imperial family did not have any prohibition against consanguinity with the exception of parent/children, and brother/sister. As noticed by McCullough, a man could freely married an aunt, a niece, or a cousin […] It is clearly a classist endogamy according to McCullough, a tiny dominant group pull apart through endogamy from the rest of society. Thus they preserve in the same time bloodline “purety”, power exclusivity both symbolic and material.
There was an other part from the same chapter but a bit too long to translate where the author stress on how in some traditional japanese family, they put emphases on the elder child having a distinctive status, education and privilege than the other siblings.
Hyuga and Uchiha are both view in the Narutoverse as a very prestigious and traditional clan. Huyga even use terms Soke/Bunke which is a concept already existing in japanese culture. So we can associate them with a kind of aristocracy among the shinobi world. Both of them are said to descendant from Alien but even irl a lot of aristocratic family still proclaim a divine ancestry to justify their power over a majority (Ethiopia kings from Salomon, British queen claims to descent from the biblical King David) and in japanese case the imperial family still believe today to descend from Amaterasu. So following this aristocratic logic, keeping the blood “pure” is extremely important to them, they think it’s the source of their power.
I know that for a western/christian point of view, cousin union is seen as disgusting and incestuous (although European aristocracy still do it regardless for the reason explained previously) but it’s not the case in most part of the world, (I’m not defending it I’m just stating facts), and it’s not automatically produce disable children otherwise the Middle East and South Asia who have a long and stable tradition of doing so would have disappeared from Earth long time ago.
My point was just to say I don’t think the bloodline purity is a fandom invention, it’s a natural deduction. Senju are exogamous by choice (they have a tradition of making matrimonial and political alliances hence why Konoha was possible with a Senju driving force) in the opposite Hyuga and Uchiha seems to be strongly endogamous also by choice based on the fact they keep very similar features, a very strong sense of pride, an elitist education, a protective and secretive approach to their culture and a higher proportion of clan members possessing KKG (contrary to Senju where Mokuton is limited solely to Hashirama). Historically marrying your 1st, 2nd or 3rd degree cousin through arranged marriage will maximize the chance to keep some traits (good or bad) in the family. Hinata choosing herself to marry a non-Hyuga is an exception rather than a rule 1) Hinata/Neji/Hiashi relationship where her father is seen to slowly change his mind about his very conservative approach to tradition 2) Naruto is the most powerful Ninja post-war, son of an Hokage, future Hokage himself so they might play lottery with the genetic pool but they gain a great prestige and affluence by association with him.
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bahbahhh · 1 year
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The Killing Moon Author's Note
He asks if he remembers her.
He doesn’t answer.
There is quiet longing between them in moments when they are alone that Link still cannot place. He thinks he needs time but Hyrule won’t grant them peace. Especially not when there is a kingdom to rebuild and the Blood Moon still rises. But Link doesn’t want to rebuild, he just wants-
(Or, Breath of the Wild 1.5 for those who are tired of waiting.)
Rated E - Post BoTW/ TotK theories - 50,834 words - complete
Read The Killing Moon on Ao3
(Two months later, here it is!) Wow. I cannot believe this story is finally done. I started writing this before so much of what defines me and my life today even happened…I look back at 2017 and the things that used to excite me, bother me, worry me have shifted and changed so significantly…and yet LoZ remains
There have been a few games in my lifetime that have touched me this way, becoming sources of comfort during challenging or stressful times, never losing their luster. (“Seriously, you are playing that again, B?” ) The idea for The Killing Moon came following a frantic explosion of creative energy after I finished BotW for the first time.  I didn’t want it to be over. I remember diving into fanfiction at the time, hungry for anything and everything that would keep the story alive.
Then I decided to write a multi-chapter, lore-heavy, character-study of a fanfiction. As my first stab at fanfiction. Because, why not.
I churned out several chapters REALLY fast (I think 9??) and then my life got busy, my attention shifted, and before I knew, it had been years.
I would occasionally think about the story, sometimes making a mental note to go back and delete it, only to forget about it again…To be honest, I was nervous to look back at my writing and get stuck….I had had a vague outline of where I was going that was lost, so all I had in my head was a final confrontation under Hyrule Castle (more on this later).
Following a replay of BotW and the 2021 E3…I decided to do a massive edit, removing chaptering 2-9 completely, and reworking the plot to align more cohesively with what we received about the sequel. The story had a clear endpoint and it took off from there.
Major changes/themes/story notes
[MAJOR CHANGE] the tense:
I switched the ENTIRE story from past to present tense (I am positive I've slipped up here and there…I did not have a beta and, alas, I am not an editor…truly, this was written in the sleepy moments I get at the end of the day when my kids are in bed).
The Killing Moon was never meant bring much resolution and I felt present tense lent itself better to the suspense and tension I wanted present throughout with this in mind. Also, from the beginning, this story has been primarily about Link beginning the process of unpacking some of his trauma. I wanted a chance to deepen my version of Link POV and intensify the complexity of emotions he might face after all he has endured…I wanted to honor the complexity living with trauma. At times, it was meant to feel claustrophobic and uncomfortable and confusing. He is actively remembering his past in this story, specifically recalling personal details no one else can give him. Even Zelda is limited in what she can tell him about himself and as Link says, it feels wrong (even though she would gladly do it) to hold her accountable for chronicling his life. So if he wants it, he must endure it.
[THEME] loss of knowledge to time/making decisions on incomplete information:
I also wanted a tense that promoted unreliability…this story is very much a guessing game. For us (the fandom) with the sequel coming, but also the characters themselves…literally working back from the almost-end of the world where many of the information-keepers died and records were destroyed/lost.
BotW is a post-apocalyptic Hyrule.  The “golden age” is long gone. Even the “robust” Hyrule we see in the events of 100 years ago do not hold a candle to what is alluded to exist in Hyrule 10,000 years prior. There is little/no mention of KEY elements in LoZ lore because they have been lost to time, purposely concealed, and then forgotten over the ages.
“Goddess, don't tell me you’ve forgotten your sacred charge? “A pause. “The power without equal. The hidden treasure of Sky Keep? Broken by Twilight’s touch? Fa ha ha…The birth of the Calamity has even faded into myth, hasn't it?...Now give me what I ask in return for the secrets of the Triforce.” (Horned statue, Chapter 4)
In the Killing Moon, first time they have ever heard about the Triforce is from a demon.
This Link and Zelda, in a way, resemble the first version of themselves. They have very little guidance. The history they are working through is incomplete and potentially inaccurate (maybe even skewed by those who recorded it) and yet, they must face destiny all the same. As we saw in BotW, destiny doesn’t wait for you to be prepared.
[THEME] the burden of destiny/ trauma across lifetimes:
Jacob Geller provides a beautiful narration to the theme of darkness in the Zelda series as a whole and does a magnificent job of summarizing what sets BotW apart.  “It is a game in which each acre, every abandoned stable and crumbled temple and forgotten spring is a monument to your failures.”
I didn’t come upon this video until very recently, but I feel like it captures the essence of the the "big picture stuff" I was aiming for with Link.  The first scene I wrote for The Killing Moon was actually his panic attack in chapter 3:
"Nothing - left of me," he continues in a desperate whisper. He can’t read her face. "If we have to - again," His hands are sweeping in front of him, tracing his broken speech in patterns that feel true. “I won't come back. My body but I-”
A new resolve takes hold of him. He doesn’t need her to just hear him -he wants her word. He’s in her face now. She takes him up in her hands again, and furiously thumbs away the tears from his cheeks. He is supposed to be dead. He whimpers and dips his head down, chewing, chewing, chewing on the words. 
"Not-not even sure I'm fully alive!" 
To die (I know the jury is out on whether he actually dies or not, but in The Killing Moon, he does die 100 years ago), come back without your memories (essentially the stuff that make us who we are), into a world that has seen generations since you closed your eyes, and be thrust back into a destiny you have already failed…and then the WEIGHT of your past lives…thinking about the overstimulation alone breaks my heart. I feel it in my gut.
Now that Link has finally done it, “completed” the task he was charged with 100 years ago, what happens to the weight of duty when the war is won? What happens to a weapon? Does he get put on a mount somewhere, too? Does he turn to dust?
He can’t even figure that out because of the inescapability of his fate. In the first chapter, he is called to destiny a THIRD time in a single lifetime.
He is also trying to make sense of this with another person. Someone he learns he once loved, who still loves him, who he understands has danced with him in these roles over many lifetimes.
Is there any part of this soul that is his alone? (Chapter 7)
How much of this was manufactured? Does that even matter to him now? Can he allow himself to have feelings? In BotW, we learn 100 years ago Link felt so burdened by duty, he stopped speaking (in The Killing Moon, it is a total loss of the already very little verbal speech he had as an individual who is/was selectively mute.) Now, faced with another “calamity” of sorts, it is his feelings toward Zelda, in particular, he struggles with. And she as well -can they allow this when they know what is at stake?  There is a push and pull intentionally through the story, the impact of severely ingrained GUILT for wanting more than what they are destined for. Wanting each other more than anything.
 “This isn’t the first time I’ve heard stories about your travels, all you’ve done for everyone else since you woke up.  It doesn't feel like my Hyrule anymore.  It feels like yours.”
“It can be yours, too.” His voice frays at the end. He sets his hands on her thighs. Something burns in his throat.  
“It’s OK. I’m at peace with this. Really, I am. I will do everything I can to protect it. To protect them. For you.” (Chapter 10)
Also a feeling that their timing is off. Their specific time together, that they were supposed to have, has past (I think we see it in AOC tbh). They’ve lost that to destiny, too.
[MAJOR CHANGE] Big Bad
"A Spring is created only when a divine spirit departs from Hyrule." A mischievous smile. “What is born from shadow? A Void. The Blood Moon is a harbinger of what’s waiting beyond. See, look here-” (Hino, Chapter 3)
In the original draft of this story, before 2019 E3, Void was the name of the "Big Evil" in this Hyrule. It was going to be revealed as another title for Demise, trapped inside Ganondorf who was sealed under Hyrule Castle.  I shit you not, lol. His sealing was going to have been flawed somehow and the malice or essence that escaped is how we get Calamity Ganon. That is why in chapter 7 the movements of CG in the footage are “off”. Basically a dead spirit carcass being possessed by the Big Evil because, fuck, he’s not going to die that easily after 10,000 years and then another 100 more of being this close.
When we got the teasers, Void became a description for the concealed bit of history. I still wanted to play with the themes of parasites/possession and added in the possibility that after his time with Zelda, a silver of the human he was started to come through. You can read my thoughts on the battery theory, which heavily influenced the connection between Ganondorf, Link and Zelda in this story.
“All three or none at all.” (Master Sword, Chapter 7).
Ganondorf too is trapped by his destiny and how TERRIBLE it is to be on THAT side of it. Imagine if your destiny was the soul of not a Hero or a Goddess, but a demon.  What if your destiny was to be the one who will Eat the World? And what if you loved Hyrule? What if Ganondorf was a man of the people, who was trying to do right and the Royal Family tried to ERASE him from history by sealing him away and concealing everything from the records? 
“We are bound too tightly in this fate. We’ve been fighting for a long time. More than a century. It was us ten thousand years ago. It has been the three of us time and time again. Link, when I was in the darkness, sometimes I felt like he was a part of me. And that part was lonely and scared and so tired. I think he wants us to save him like we saved you. Is that crazy?”
I am admittedly pretty obsessed with the idea Zelda feels connected to Ganondorf.
[STORY NOTES] Zonai
Mentioning the Zonai came in the rewrites. Not even on my radar in 2017 when I started The Killing Moon. Clearly, I am firmly in the-Zonai-play-a-big-role-in-the-past-and-TotK-camp. But I didn’t think it was realistic for Link and Zelda to figure out everything about them in this story.
[STORY NOTES] Luminous Stones
Another addition to the rewrite. I became obsessed with all the raw luminous-stone looking crystals in the teasers and ran with the detail about them rumored to contain souls of dead. It did not make it into the story but I did have tons of notes about how these luminous stones might be souls of Zonai or the army of the spear-wielding rider in the pictographs/ petroglyphs and their energy is part of the seal.
[STORY NOTES]Losing the Master Sword
The threat of this was always in the original story but it was emphasized more in the rewrite.
The original story had Link’s nightmare in which the Sword is gone (it was actually written to be symbolic of LINK “becoming” the Master Sword in the nightmare, that his body is the weapon, to be bent and broken and forged again and again with the Shrine of Resurrection). Hyrule Forest–resting place of the Master Sword–was destroyed in the original story. It fits well with TotK. I do wonder if the Lost Woods will be inaccessible for the game or for a part of the game.
[Fun-ish facts]
I love to connect all the LoZ stories and overiously do so with direct references to past lives (this story is SS, TP, Oot-heavy). But there are more indirect references in The Killing Moon I tried to sneak in:
"Wind waker" -  Stamella shroom tonic for soldiers (Wind Waker)
The three comrades from Link's past (Colson, Medin and Jayde) are called "four swords" by their commanding officer. (Four Sword Adventures)
This is dangerous.” Link starts.
“Take this.” Zelda hands him her torch before stepping further into the cave.  (Chapter 11)
(A spin on "It's dangerous to go alone, take this!" The Legend of Zelda 1986)
Thank you to those who have stayed with the story. Thank you to those who are new. I do this for fun and I can't tell you how much it means to me every time I get a notification someone took time out of their day to leave kudos or write a comment or I see the story was bookmarked. Comments/questions always welcome. I am planning to go back and do some minor (mostly grammar) edits but I already have some ideas for a continuation once TotK is out.
I just love this fandom.
B
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margueritewoodcock · 1 year
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Answers About Dating
And remembering that's highly effective for dismantling limiting beliefs or practices in dating. Are you down for dating an emotional crybaby? They just left me on ‘seen’.” If some variation of those statements rings a bell, likelihood is you realize somebody who’s entered the web dating scene. נערות ליווי בראשון לציון Since you are in the same workplace, you know all the identical people and will even be working on related initiatives - so it's easy to go house and discuss these individuals or those projects. You must have one thing to talk about in person, after all, and, if the sparks do not fly, you won't care about this stuff anyway. That method you're taking the stress off yourself, you get company to socialise with and you don't must be so apprehensive about when to speak about being a mum - it can just come naturally as you get to know each other.
These sorts of people will not solely seize your attention, but they could also be the important thing to making your best relationship an everlasting one. Your matches will likely be coming from the surrounding area, making it easy to find and meet up. In 316 days, David Archuleta will turn 32 years previous. Selena Gomez and Justin Bieber went back and forth for YEARS proper up until he married Hailey Baldwin in 2018. So, it's def "off" rn, sure? Kamal Givens, like most celebrities, prefers to keep his personal and love life personal, so check back often as we replace this page with new dating information and rumors. An replace to 40K-40Ar dating was developed so as to scale back this error. Finding out who's dating Leslie Jones is comparatively straightforward, however holding observe of her flings, hookups, and breakups is harder. This is your fresh begin at finding love and companionship - grasp it with each arms and be positive and completely satisfied! Well, do not begin crying all the time! 4. When you both have an interest, you’ll be in a position to begin a dialog with somebody in a particular inbox that’s separate from Messenger and WhatsApp.
It is dependent upon how awkward they are. It relies on the prank. It depends upon who I'm round. Someone who has poor hygiene. Say you’ve found your supreme somebody after taking a look at her profile footage. Certainly in all occasions the skeptical individuals say that distant relationship is unimaginable existed. Is Ariana Lee Bonfiglio having any relationship affair? So if you are curious about what sort of individual you need to be dating, then take our romantic relationship quiz proper now! To take step one in the direction of assembly local single guys and ladies, you have to register free of cost. The food and ambiance will help ease the tensions of assembly for the first time. After the time is up, the players can determine to match and proceed to a non-public chat. Unique options - Some dating web sites just offer simple meet-up options, whether via chat or video name. If you are in fast hazard, name 911. OVW doesn't present services directly to the general public.
Cuneiform sources suggest that the Gutians' administration showed little concern for sustaining agriculture, written data, or public safety; they reputedly released all farm animals to roam about Mesopotamia freely and shortly caused famine and rocketing grain costs. This solely issues slightly bit to me. I wouldn't care. Which one will you pick? Most Westerners can think of at least one guy who has beforehand had a Filipina girlfriend. I only keep in touch with one or two of them. I only keep in touch with some of them. No, I don't keep in contact with any of them. No, that's simply silly. No, however I'm able to expertise it. No, that does not sound clever. People had been astonished by the dirty, locked-out sound she carried out, and this surprising component motivated her. His point is that far too many individuals put their likes as things that it's extremely rare to dislike. There is obviously no level in holding that a secret… There are a lot of dating apps obtainable available on the market, however we’ve narrowed it right down to the top 7 Dating Apps In India 2022 that we consider will finest suit your needs!
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sepublic · 3 years
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Belos’ Day of Unity
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            This episode confirmed a HUGE detail for us, and it’s that the Day of Unity involves merging the human and Demon Realms together! This better explains why Belos wants the Portal… If he just wanted to access the human world, he could do that with regular Titan’s Blood alone, but he needs something on a level that can maintain a lasting, open connection between the two! Not only that…
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         But as Boscha so ‘kindly’ reminds us later this episode, Luz’s glyphs don’t work in the human world! Magic is a gift from the isles… And with the association of wild magic as ‘elemental’, how Luz’s glyphs take an elemental form… How they were the first form of magic, learned from observing the isles themselves and whatnot-
         It seems wild magic, at least as how Belos defines and hates it, takes a lot of cues and even draws power from the Boiling Isles! From the Demon Realm itself… Which, is interesting because;
         Belos clearly wants to control magic. He sees it as something witches have to more or less earn back… But ideally, they have to earn it from him entirely! Bile magic is something Belos can control, it’s confined to people’s bodies and he has the coven bindings to do so- Belos can control bodies, he can override that autonomy, and it comes from a source he can regulate. You can even see it with staffs, especially the one that Hunter has!
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         Staffs can be taken away, they can be broken and drained. They’re external, but in a way that Belos can easily separate a witch from… And with Hunter, this takes on a whole new twisted meaning, because Hunter’s staff is (or rather was) his ONLY source and means of magic… 
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        And as someone who created that staff no doubt, Belos can easily tamper with and restrict the spells that Hunter can access with it, no doubt- I wouldn’t be surprised if Belos could turn off Hunter’s staff at will! It’s his to give and take as he pleases, and given Belos’ unwillingness to create more Palismen, we still see plenty of carefulness with staffs as an external source of magic as well. Belos might intend to replace magical staffs with his own version that he can control!
         But wild magic and glyphs? They come from the isles, they come from the very land itself… And Belos CAN’T restrict the very fabric of the reality he lives in. Glyphs are an outside-context problem, you don’t need a bile sac to wield them; And they completely bypass the issues of coven bindings. You can’t restrict glyphs, the way you can’t restrict knowledge- It’s always bound to slip through Belos’ grasp, no matter how hard he tries. And once a secret is out, it tends to spread like wildfire…
         Belos can’t just apply some massive coven binding to the Demon Realm entirely… Can he?
         That’s of course where the Day of Unity comes in. Where OUR world comes in… If magic, specifically the wild magic that fuels glyphs, is sourced directly from the Demon Realm itself… And our world has no magic, glyphs are useless there? 
        Belos might intend to neutralize the Demon Realm’s magic entirely, by fusing it with the human world! And/or, with how the human world seems more vast than the Demon Realm (the Boiling Isles is only the size of Vermont), the magic inherent to it will be spread so thin that it’ll be too weak to utilize.
         And that’s… As Luz might put it, fiendishly clever! Belos recognizes his limits. He knows he can’t control the knowledge of glyphs, the memory of them- And even if he could, people can still learn directly from the isles itself, from the Demon Realm itself- The Light Glyph can be found in the stars! So long as the original source exists to learn from, nothing is truly stopping someone from paying attention and finding it on their own, potentially by accident!
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         If Belos can’t truly, physically control this magic and restrain it- Then it’s a liability, especially since it can grant coven-bound witches access to full magic again, and allow them to turn the tides. It makes Belos and his system redundant… So he has to remove the original source of wild magic, WITHOUT destroying his own world and of course himself in the process!
         In comes our world. With the Demon Realm’s magic neutralized and/or diffused, the only source will come from the bile in witch’s bodies, which Belos CAN restrict. Sure, some witches might escape here or there, slip through the cracks and have unbound children… But that’s nothing compared to the threat of glyphs, which anyone can learn at any time!
         And if Belos plans to somewhat conquer the human world, at least to defend and maintain his own utopia- It works out again! Because our technology is based on knowledge, nothing is stopping the witches of Belos’ society from learning and adapting to our own technology, repurposing it for themselves. We already see technology exist to some degree anyway, such as in the Abomitons, and Belos’ own creations! It’d be easy for witches to repurpose our own technology for themselves.
         But humans? We can’t cast magic. We have no bile sacs… And even glyphs, the one form of magic we COULD wield, would be rendered powerless by our own world! Sure, there might be a few witches here or there that would come to our side, that would oppose Belos’ conquest and imperialism… 
        But those select few wouldn’t make up for the vast differences in numbers, nor could they have kids who’d grow up at a fast enough rate. Magic can replicate technology’s uses in its own way –scrolls can access a magical version of the internet- and I wouldn’t be surprised if the Day of Unity will also empower Belos as some kind of all-powerful, magical god who could easily handle what us puny humans throw at him, anyway.
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         Aside from a much smaller population… Again, it seems magic is a good way for Belos to ensure his own power and conquest over our world, too- Or at least to keep us out of his own borders. Perhaps Belos only intends to rule his select portion of the Demon Realm within Connecticut, and bar out everyone else to their own devices, occasionally checking in to make sure we don’t ‘invade’ his own bubble.
         Maybe Belos doesn’t even intend to transport the entire Demon Realm, just the Boiling Isles itself, to the human world… Which of course isolates witches from that source of wild magic even more.
         There is an issue of course- And that gets down to how witches create magical bile. With how magic is a gift from the isles, it’s possible witches are simply able to convert the innate magic of the atoms and molecules around them in their digestive system, and turn that into bile- Meaning without this ‘magical radiation’, eventually a witch will run out of magic bile and be depleted, should they stay in the human world without any access to the Demon Realm.
         Does Belos know, or even care? Maybe this is his way of also removing magic entirely… Or as I said, with how magic will be spread thin when our worlds fuse; Perhaps it will exist in enough of a capacity in this fused realm, that biological witches can still harvest this magical radiation and produce bile. 
        Or, based on how King described it in The Unauthorized History of the Boiling Isles, witches just naturally produce their own magical radiation in the form of bile- They don’t need to be connected to the Demon Realm to do, they are their own sustainable source!
         Either way, Belos’ plan makes a disturbing amount of sense… It’s the final nail in the coffin as a way for him to physically control magic, and it’s the outright death and eradication of wild magic as well! He has no interest in conquering our world, not necessarily- Just in bringing his over so he can kill off the final source of magic that manages to elude his control.
         Any imperialism may come as a natural byproduct of this type of crossover, but it’s not what Belos specifically intends from the fusion- So in a way, he wasn’t lying when he said that it wasn’t his plan to conquer the human world. 
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        Belos didn’t say it’d NEVER be his plan… Just that this specific goal doesn’t involve that, not necessarily. Plus, he’d argue that any conquest would come fully as a means of self-defense, which… Would not be wrong either, because there’d definitely be humans who’d reject the society that Belos would bring in, and seek to eradicate and/or control it for themselves too!
         Once the Day of Unity’s crossover ensues, it seems the only magical liability that Belos would have to worry about is… Unbound biological witches, witches who DO have a bile sac, but aren’t under Belos’ control! Hence why he stresses to his coven heads;
         “The larger your covens grow, the more power we have to unite our realms, where the worthy shall inherit a utopia free of wild magic.”
         It’s possible Belos plans to use his coven bindings as a means of powering whatever magic he needs to pull this crossover off- I’ve speculated before on the demon realm’s solar system forming a glyph combo to do this, but it’s not out of the question that Belos would need a little extra power for such a massive event. 
        Perhaps Belos intends to drain the unused magic of every bound witch- After all, about 8/9ths of every bound witch’s magic is sealed away, presumably unused… So to Belos and his coven heads, they’re not really depriving anyone of anything by draining that unused magic?
         Especially if witches’ magic can still replenish over time anyway (unless you’re cursed), plus spreading the individual cost that each witch will have to fork over for the Day of Unity, across more witches, is arguably the moral thing to do anyway! 
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        Hence why coven bindings are necessary, not just to fuel the Day of Unity, but to also remove the final liability that Belos would need to deal with. Ideally, Belos wants every witch bound before the Day of Unity, so he won’t have to worry about any biological witch when the crossover occurs…
         But at the same time, I doubt it’s strictly necessary- So even if it’s ideal, Belos is obviously going to go ahead with his crossover if there are still unbound witches. He can still deal with them later… They might have a bigger world to escape out into, which is why he stresses this be done sooner, rather than later, when witches are more confined to a smaller space and easier to find- But Belos still ultimately wins, one way or the other.
         Belos’ plan and Day of Unity is unimaginably grandiose, horrifying, and worst of all… Makes so much sense, it connects everything together in a reasonable way! Though it only makes sense from a viewer’s speculative perspective, and in-universe from the perspective of Belos, for the kinds of goals he’s looking for of course. 
        From a general and moral perspective this plan is completely nuts and terrible, but in terms of what Belos is actually trying to accomplish, a society where magical is truly bound… (Albeit not an actual ‘utopia’ like he claims), I hate to say it but this works perfectly, and that’s terrifying! Unfortunately, it seems this fucker does know EXACTLY what he’s doing, very much! And Belos is batshit nuts.
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        And there’s a good chance that somebody in this meeting is very understandably not enthused with Belos’ plan, even outright intimidated, and determined to stop it as a result...
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adobe-outdesign · 3 years
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Jokes on you I would very much like to see a giant essay about pokemon and the power of friendship. Pokemon go brrrrrrr
So first, there's the misconception that Pokemon don't want to fight. What this overlooks is that Pokemon are both sentient and sapient, and therefore if they don't want to fight they just... won't? Both the games and the anime show that a Pokemon won't listen to you if you don't have enough experience. You have no means of forcing them to obey you, so if they didn't want to fight they'd literally just Leave, which kind of ruins the whole dogfighting angle. (various villain teams, who use unethical methods to control their Pokemon, are outliers adn should not have been counted)
Secondly, there's also the misconception that Pokemon are slaves and can't leave. However, it's been clearly shown that Pokemon can literally leave their Pokeballs at any time they want without their trainer calling them out--Pokeballs are more like little homes for the Pokemon than cages. This goes back to point 1, wherein if a Pokemon doesn't want to fight, it would just Leave.
Thirdly, Pokemon matches are less like dogfights and more like boxing. The goal is to simply knock out your opponent--nothing that could kill or mutilate them. They even have refs (at least in the anime) to watch the fights to make sure that everything's safe. This also means that Pokemon are actually much safer battling with a trainer, as out in the wild they'd still be fighting with other wild Pokemon, except possibly to the death. Pokemon can also be healed relatively easily, so they're not left in a ton of pain if they do get hurt (another thing that they don't get to have after wild fights).
Fourthly, and I cannot stress this enough, most Pokemon could straight up kill you if they wanted--some have even evolved specifically to prey on humans! Pokemon could rebel and kill off humanity if they wanted to, yet they don't, solely because they like us.
Fifthly, the point of battling wild Pokemon seems to less be "lmao this thing doesn't wanna come with me so I'll beat it into submission" and more "you have to prove your strength to this Pokemon before it will agree to be your companion". Think about it--if you can't even beat this wild Pokemon, then what can it learn from you? We've also seen Pokemon join up with trainers without even bothering battling first, so it's obvious most Pokemon have no problems training with humans.
So what I'm getting at is that Pokemon actually has this really cool mutualistic symbiosis going on between humans and people. Humans help keep their Pokemon safe and well cared for, and help them train to become stronger and/or give them loving homes. The Pokemon, in return, not only don't hurt humans but protect them against threats. Some sources even say that humans are descended from Pokemon, and that it was the Pokemon who first started partnering with humans to protect them, not the other way around.
What's also neat is that Pokemon aren't just used for battling either, but for a variety of other purposes, ranging from labor to medical. Pokemon are so thoroughly ingrained into society that they've taken the place of a lot of IRL tech, furthering the mutualism aspect.
It's also worth noting that the practice of catching and training Pokemon has literally been going on for thousands of years. People have been forming bonds with Pokemon practically since humanity existed, and frankly it's really the only reason everything hasn't been wiped off the map yet.
Pokemon and humans have literally evolved over thousands of years to help each other, and to be each other's friends. thank you for coming to my TED talk
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meruz · 3 years
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once again i am answering asks in a big compilation post. included is... gotham, patrick stump, tips about drawing backgrounds, tips about drawing in general, links to my faq, and infinity train
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like.... the tv series? No... I’ve drawn dc comics fanart before, though. But it’s been years since I’ve been really into it. I like jumped ship like 10 years ago when the New 52 happened LOL.
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AFJHDSLKGH I’m sorry I (probably) won’t do it again??
Actually full disclosure I have a truly cringe amount of p stump drawings/photo studies in my sketchbook right now LOL. He’s just fun to draw... hats, glasses, guitar, a good shape... but I don’t think I’ll rly post those until I can hide them in another big sketchbook pdf.. probably Jan 2022. Stay tuned........ (ominous) 
(ominous preview)
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These are all sort of related to backgrounds/painting so I grouped them together even though they’re pretty much entirely separate questions.... ANYWAYS
a) How is it working as a BG artist? Is it hard? What show are you drawing for?
I think you’re the first person to ever ask me about my job! Being a background artist is great. It’s definitely labor intensive but I think that could describe pretty much any art job (If something were rote or easy to automate, you wouldn’t hire an artist to do it) and I hesitate to say whether its harder or easier than any other role in the animation pipeline. Plus, so much of what truly makes a job difficult varies from one production to the next, schedule, working environment, co-workers etc. But I will say that I think while BGs are generally a lot of work on the upfront, I think they’re subject to less scrutiny/revisions than something like character/props/effects design and you don’t have to pitch them to a room like boards. So I guess it’s good if you don’t like to talk to people? LOL
A lot of my previous projects + the show I’ve worked on the longest aren’t public yet so I can’t talk about em (but I assure you if/when the news does break I won’t shut up about it). But I’m currently working on Archer Season 12 LOL. I’m like 90% sure I’m allowed to say that.
b) ~~~THANK YOU!! ~~~
c) What exactly do you like to draw most [in a background]?
@kaitomiury​ Lots of stuff! I really like to draw clutter! Because it’s a great opportunity for environmental storytelling and also you can be kind of messy with it because the sheer mass will supersede any details LOL. 
I like to draw clouds... I like to draw grass but not trees lol,,, I like to draw anything that sells perspective really easily like tiled floors and ceilings, shelves, lamp posts on a street etc.
d) Do you have any tips on how to paint (observational)?
god there’s so much to say. painting is really a whole ass discipline like someone can paint their whole life and still discover new things about it. I guess if you’re really just starting out my best advice is that habit is more important than product. especially with traditional plein air painting, I find that the procedure of going outside and setting up your paints is almost harder than the actual painting. There’s a lot of artists who say “I want to do plein air sometime!!” and then never actually get around to doing it. A lot of people just end up working from google streetview or photos on their computer.
But going outside to paint is a really good challenge because it forces you to make and commit to lighting and composition decisions really quickly. And to work through your mistakes instead of against them via undo button.
My last tip is to check out James Gurney’s youtube channel because hes probably the best and most consistent resource on observational painting out there rn. There’s lots other artists doing the same thing (off the top of my head I know a lot of the Warrior Painters group has people regularly posting plein air stuff and lightbox expo had a Jesse Schmidt lecture abt it last year) but Gurney’s probably the most prolific poster and one of the best at explaining the more technical stuff - his books are great too.
e) Do you have tips for drawing cleanly on heavypaint?
@marigoldfool​ UMM LOL I LIKE ONLY USE THE FILL TOOL so maybe use the fill tool? Fill and rectangle are good for edge control as opposed to the rest of the heavy paint tools which can get sort of muddles. And also I use a stylus so maybe if you’re using your finger, find a stylus that works with your device instead. That’s all I’ve got, frankly I don’t think my drawings are particularly clean lol.
f) Tips on improving backgrounds/scenes making them more dynamic practicing etc?
Ive given some tips about backgrounds/scenes before so I’m not gonna re-tread those but here’s another thing that might be helpful...
I think a good way to approach backgrounds is to think of the specific story or even mood you want to convey with the background first. Thinking “I just need to put something behind this character” is going to lead you to drawing like... a green screen tourist photo backdrop. But if you think “I need this bg to make the characters feel small” or “I need this bg to make the world feel colorful” then it gives you requirements and cues to work off of.
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If I know a character needs to feel overwhelmed and small, then I know I need to create environment elements that will cage them in and corner them. If a character needs to feel triumphant/on top of the world then I know I need to let the environment open up around them. etc. If I know my focal point/ where I want to draw attention, I can build the background around that.
Also, backgrounds like figure compositions will have focal points of their own and you can draw attention to it/ the relationship the characters have with the bg element via scale or directionality or color, any number of cues. I think of it almost as a second/third character in a scene.
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Not every composition is gonna have something so obvious like this but it helps me to think about these because then the characters feel connected and integrated with the environment.
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Some more general art questions
a) Do you have any process/tips to start drawing character/bodies/heads?
I tried to kind of draw something to answer this but honestly this is difficult for me to answer because I don’t think I’m that great at drawing characters LOL. Ok, I think I have two tips.
1) flip your canvas often. A lot about what makes human bodies look correct and believable is symmetry and balance. Even if someone has asymmetrical features, the body will often pull and push in a way to counterbalance it. we often have inherent biases to one side or another like dominant hands dominant eyes etc. you know how right-handed artists will often favor drawing characters facing 45 degrees facing (the artist’s) left? that’s part of it. so viewing your drawing flipped even just to evaluate it helps compensate for that bias and makes you more aware of balance.
2) draw the whole figure often. I feel like a lot of beginner artists (myself included for a long time) defer to just drawing headshots or busts because it’s easier, you dont have to think about posing limbs etc. But drawing a full body allows you to better gauge proportion, perspective, body language, everything that makes a character look believable and grounded.
Like if you (me) have that issue where you draw the head too big and then have to resize it to fit the proportions of the rest of the body, it’s probably because you (I) drew the head first and are treating the body as an afterthought/attachment. Sketching out the whole figure first or even just quick drawing guides for it will help you think of it more holistically. I learned this figure drawing in charcoal at art school LOL.
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oh. third mini tip - try to draw people from life often! its the best study. if you can get into a figure drawing/nude drawing class EVEN BETTER and if you have a local college/art space/museum that hosts those for free TREASURE IT AND TAKE ADVANTAGE OF IT, that’s a huge boon that a lot of artists (me again) wish they had. though if youre not so lucky and youre sitting in a park trying to creeper draw people and they keep moving.. don’t let that stop you! that’s good practice because it’s forcing you to work fast to get the important stuff down LOL. its a challenge!
b) I’ve been pretty out of energy and have had no inspiration to draw but I have the desire to. Any advice?
Dude, take a walk or something.... Or a nap? Low energy is going to effect everything else so you gotta hit that problem at its source.
If you’re looking for inspiration though, I’d recommend stuff like watching a movie, reading a book, playing video games etc. Fill up your idea bank with content and then give yourself time/space to gestate it into new concepts. Sometimes looking at other art works but sometimes it can work against you because it’s too close. 
Also something that helps me is remembering that art doesn’t always have to be groundbreaking... like it’s okay to make something shitty and stupid that you don’t post online and only show to your friend. That’s all part of the process imo. If you want to hit a home run you gotta warm up first, right? Sports.
I should probably compile everytime i give tips on stuff like this but that’s getting dangerously close to being a social media artist who makes stupid boiled down art tutorials for clout which is the last thing i want to be... the thing I want to stress is that art is a whole visual language and there are widely agreed upon rules and customs but they exist in large part to be broken. Like there's an infinite number of ways to reach an infinite number of solutions and that’s actually what makes it really cool and personal for both the artist and the viewer. So when you make work you like or you find someone else’s work you like, take a step back and ask yourself what about it speaks for you, what about it works for you, what makes it effective, how to recreate that effect and how to break that effect completely, etc. And have a good time with it or else what’s the point.
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for the first 2, I direct you to my FAQ
For the last one, I don’t actually believe I’ve ever addressed artwork as insp for stories/rp but I’ll say here and now yeah go ahead! As long as you’re not making profit or taking credit for my work then I’m normally ok with it. Especially anything thats private and purely recreational, that’s generally 100% green light go. I only ask that if you post it anywhere public that you please credit me.
(and I reserve the right to ask you to take it down if I see it and don’t approve of it’s use but I think that case is pretty rare.)
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a) @lemuelzero101 Thank you!!! I haven’t played Life is Strange but actually  that series’ vis dev artist Edouard Caplain is one of my bigger art inspirations lately so that’s a really high compliment lol. And yeah I hope we get 5-8 too...!
b) Thank you for sticking around! I’ve been thinking about Digimon and Infinity Train in tandem lately, actually. They’re a little similar? Enter a dangerous alternate world and have wacky adventures with monsters/inanimate objects that have weird powers... there’s like weird engineers and mechanisms behind the scenes... also frontier literally starts with them getting on a train. Anyways if anyone else followed me for digimon... maybe you’d like Infinity Train? LOL
c) @king-wens-king I’M GLAD MY ART JUST HAS PINOY VIBES LOL I hope you are having a good day too :^)
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a, b, c, d) yessss my Watch Infinity Train agenda is working....
e) aw thank you!! i think you should watch infinity train :)
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jostepherjoestar · 3 years
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Maybe Jotaro, Risotto, Prosciutto, Bruno and Leone friendship HCs with a fem friend thats llike your generic dumbass but they are just like a soft dumbass, she is just too cute to get mad at no matter how stupid she is. So basically a smol sweet dumbass that just radiate baby energy. Like she just runs up to them saying she want to show them something cool and its just a pretty rock but she looks so happy xjsbkss 💖
Pure of heart, dumb of ass fem!friend with Jotaro, Risotto, Prosciutto, Bruno and Abbacchio HC’s
sfw // fem reader
lemme just say, reader is baby and that’s valid 🥰this is so adorably pure ugh ya done killed me anon 🥺💖✨(can very much relate tho, glad my friends put up with my dumb antics)
Jotaro:
“Why am I friends with you again? Yare yare...” A phrase you’ll hear every time you’re hanging out with this tall bastard. He’ll tease you for being a bit of a dumbass but is incredibly drawn to how kind, sweet and absolutely thoughtful you are.
You remind him of Josuke and Okuyasu which only makes him like you even more. And the added cuteness-factor made him admit to himself he does indeed love cute things, no matter how adamantly he denies it to you.
His favourite thing to do is bring you along to the beach for field research, knowing just how wide eyed and giddy you get when you’re allowed to collect shells and rocks or even poke a jellyfish. You seem very good at spotting irregularities in your surroundings, making quite the good assistant to Dr. Kujo.
You’re even allowed to help with lab research, studying petri dishes filled with algae as you excitedly point out a very important detail he hadn’t noticed yet, too tired from working such long hours. Sometimes you’re quite the genius without even trying.
More than anything he loves the amount of lightness you bring to his life, his studies and general headspace take a large toll on him. Any relief is a welcome one.
He’ll often find himself smiling at the thought of hanging out again, staring at the collection of trinkets he keeps in a cute little Hello Kitty box you once gave him, which rests on his nightstand as a reminder that it can’t hurt to adapt your lifestyle of mindless giddy; even just the tiniest bit.
Risotto:
Being close friends with Risotto seems a bit impossible without being in his squad, he’s very insistent at keeping outsiders of Passione more than an arm-length away. Good thing that the stoic man is your capo, phew!
He’s apprehensive at first, not really sure why the soft round pebble you brought him reminded you of the man as he studied the mineral, admiring its softness. “It’s like you! Soft and worn down, but very sturdy and unbreakable.” smiling sweetly at him, excitedly awaiting a response.
What was this new feeling of being appreciated and cared for? Risotto’s never really experienced a friendship so pure. He’ll quietly thank you for the pebble and keeps it on his desk, staring in awe as he’s reminded of your kind words every time he spots it.
He knows the others like to tease you for not always being aware of general human knowledge, shooting them an intense glare as a warning to keep any rude comments or jokes to themselves.
Your friendship consists of him mostly listening to you, quietly taking in all the stories you divulge- so full of excitement, telling him facts you picked up somewhere; the source of these often containing varying levels of credibility. He won’t correct you though. (unless it’s something that might actually endanger you)
He values your friendship so.much. He’s not used to being treated so kindly, receiving random gifts, being praised for a job well done, having someone who doesn’t judge him in the slightest. He’ll do whatever he needs to keep you safe, from others and yourself, along with trying to return your kindness and care. (he tries his best and it’s so cute)
(you guys hold hands for safety when you’re out in the city... just saying, it’s adorable)
Prosciutto:
Prosciutto has a chronic case of “caring older brother disease”. Will need to hold himself back from tying your shoelaces for you, the man knows you can do it it yourself but it’s just taking sooo long.
Just like Risotto, you’d have to be a team member to get close to him in any way. Good thing he recruited you ;)
It’s a bit hard to make him open up about anything personal. You feel like he knows everything about you, while you barely know a thing. When he sees your pouty lip and begging gaze that is way too cute to deny, he’ll cave. Perhaps finally realising it’s alright to lean on others.
He’ll still struggle with continuing the openness, but find relief in your loyalty and understanding. The way you intently listen to his troubles, there to hold his hand if he ever needs it, it makes his heart hurt to know how sweet and gentle you are.
Will keep you and Pesci separate during missions, he’s already getting a migraine from imaging everything that could go wrong without his guidance.
For someone who’s a little more on the dense side, you make up for it in emotional intelligence. Whenever you see how stressed he tends to get, eye twitching without even realising while his shoulders hunch together in discomfort, you come over to hug him. It’s something he had to get used to, the small gesture always calming him down enough to keep going.
Does not appreciate you slipping cute trinkets in his suit pocket. Especially not after finding a snail that one time. You’ve been forbidden from leaving pocket gifts since the incident.
Bruno:
It concerns Bruno just how clueless you can be from time to time. That one time they almost left you behind on a busy station with no cellphone because you found a coin on the ground made him realise you need some extra supervision.
He’s not the type to hold you back from doing things that are guaranteed to result in disaster (unless it’s literally deadly), he wants you to experience the consequences of your own actions.
You do make him hold back his laughter when you try out a stupid idea you know has failed in the past, but change your methods slightly to hope for better results. And you know what? Now he’s curious too.
The man has a weird sense of humour that sometimes even surprises you. He’ll copy your habit of picking up strange trinkets or rocks and asks you to compare findings with him. Like trading marbles, he’ll barter with a smirk.
“Mhh, if you give me that cute shell and that pointy rock... I’ll give you this keychain.” His alluring offer making you question if you’re getting swindled or not. “Hey! That shell is at least worth two stickers!” He’ll heartily laugh at your reply, a mischievous smile while thinking over the trade. “Ok, two stickers and a pebble then.”
With a firm handshake the deal goes through. The rest of the gang never knows how to respond, staring in amazement as their grown-ass capo barters with their grown-ass teammate. He loves being silly with you and forgetting all the pressures of life for just a moment.
Bruno takes his time opening up to you, but finds your presence so comforting it becomes very easy to trust you. As a vital part of his team he finds it important to be able to lean on each other for support and is glad you offer him just as much trust and loyalty.
Abbacchio:
Will never admit he can’t live without you anymore. You’ve become the shining beacon of assumed happiness the man never thought existed. He knows you won’t always be go-lucky and have your own troubles and struggles but admires how you handle them.
Don’t get me wrong, he’ll still gladly tease you for your occasional (well, more like frequent) stupidity. He’ll let you know with a big huff you should smarten up; “Read a book that doesn’t have pictures in it for once.”
He’ll be the first to correct any wrong info you’ve been given, unless he thinks it’s funny. Like when Mista made you believe you needed to order dessert at Libeccio or they’ll kick you out for breaking their beloved rule. It’s only when he saw the panic in your eyes when you finished your main course one day -too full for any sweets to come- that he assured you it was a dumb joke. (he’ll put all the blame on Mista)
Abbacchio seems to tether to people who have a positive influence on him without even realising, it won’t be obvious to him, but just like with his loyalty and admiration for Bruno, he’ll make sure you know it once he finds out.
Not that it’s a bad thing, his need to cling to anything that might help him stay afloat just needs to stay healthy. You didn’t even realise your effect on him, you were too busy trying to figure out a way to turn that scowl into that smirk.
After gifting him a handmade friendship bracelet that had the shortened versions of your names spelled on it, he hugged you. So tightly it was suffocating, you were shocked since he’s never been the touchy type. “Leone! I can’t breathe...” He’ll let go after the complaint but that look on his face will never leave your memory. The face of being loved unconditionally by choice, no matter how unworthy he might think himself of it.
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infinitewarden · 3 years
Text
Osiris isn’t Savathun.
Great! Now that I have your attention:
Man you guys tire me out about Osiris. If you truly believe this is Osiris I don’t mean to sound like That Guy that’s like “you don’t know what you’re talking about” but... You don’t know what you’re talking about.
So.
Let’s talk about how much Osiris cares about the City and humanity and why the Osiris in Epilogue is not actually Osiris.
Alright. Let’s start off with context. I think it’s super important to see what we do know as Osiris’s views. From my heavy analyses of him since 2020 I can confidently say these are what he views as the most important things a person can do:
Keep promises
Speak their truths
Protect the City & Humanity
Know that the Vex are true Evil.
Now, I won’t be doing a breakdown of each one individually but I will be talking a great deal of how important honesty is to Osiris, the City, and his views of the Vex.
Speaking honestly and bluntly.
I don’t know how many of you were into Destiny before Beyond Light, so if you were unaware of this it’s not your fault. However I’ve seen a very strange change in tone when it comes to how people view Osiris. Before Season of Hunt people hated - and I mean hated - Osiris. Why? Because he was blunt. They viewed his bluntness as rudeness.
To see a sudden switch to him being secretive and scheming is... alarming, to say the least. (And to see people think that this is the norm is also alarming but in other ways.)
The Osiris before Hunt was not secretive and scheming. He sought knowledge openly. He sought, specifically, the truth. I must stress just how open he was about his plans. First I’ll give you a few in lore examples:
I admit, I found your questions divisive and disloyal, and I feared you might be capable of breaking our unity when the City's position had grown so tenuous. Why divert attention away from the Traveler, our only hope? And then it got worse, dabbling in thanatonautics, Ahamkara-lore, chasing after Xur and the tricks of the Nine. Launching expeditions into the Reef and beyond at a time when ships were irreplaceable. Your quest split Guardians along ideological lines. This was your greatest crime: Hunters chose to pursue your visions instead of protecting refugees, Titans assembled teams to chase the legendary Vault of Glass instead of striking the Fallen, and Warlocks turned away from the study of the Traveler in favor of  your  ultimate obsession... learning the exact nature of the Darkness. ... Perhaps what drives a Warlock to madness is truth.
Osiris.
"Do not romanticize this burden. We wield a weapon." The Speaker shakes his head. "The Light wields you, Osiris. You are what you make of it. A glorious extension of its majesty, in many directions." Osiris paces at cadence with his words. "Then it would do well to speak clearly. To better direct me." The Speaker cocks his head. "Without will? Then it would be no better than the Darkness." "I am asking only for guidance; it is a delicate game we are playing." Osiris's voice, distressed. Regal again, the Speaker motions to the stone garden. "Will you sit with me?"
13: Margins Part II.
And, while I don’t particularly like using the Fall of Osiris comic as a source, it does have very important lines on his viewpoints that I find relevant yet.
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Fall of Osiris #1.
Hell he was open about his plans to fuck with time itself to bring Saint back.
Sagira narrowed her eye at the rogue Lightbearer and lowered herself to Osiris’s shoulder. “Why’s he here?” she asked quietly. “I asked him to consult on the engineering work,” Osiris replied, crossing his arms. “You sicko,” the other man declared, walking a circle around the Warlock, his eyes darting along every surface of the Sundial around them. ... “Just one more question, then. Why all the fuss?” “I owe him.” “I owe a lotta people, Warlock. You’re opening the gates of hell with a Vex key.” “When the Traveler brought me back, I had no friends. No family—” “No one had anything in the Dark Age.” “But Saint was always there. And I saw him grow from neophyte to demigod.”
The Sundial.
"You haven't left the Forest in years," Ikora said to Osiris, the only one to address him directly. "I need help," Osiris replied. "I know," Ikora responded, hands clasped behind her back. She stared intently at her former mentor. Back in her Crucible days, that uncompromising gaze was often the last thing her opponents saw. Aunor glanced sidelong at her superior. Harper coughed and looked down at his datapad. "Two years ago, Guardians entered the Infinite Forest," Osiris continued. "They aided me in defeating the Axis Mind Panoptes, preventing a Vex apocalypse from befalling this system. "In the process," he looked between each of them in turn, "Some Guardians reported a body they found in the Forest depths." Ikora sighed. "Saint-14 never came back from that last mission to Mercury. We finally knew why. I reacted to it the only way I knew how."
Desperate Times.
“I do not understand all of this code. This is Geppetto’s specialty,” Saint-14 says while standing bent over a wide desk covered in data tablets. Holographic images of the Lighthouse shimmer in the Hangar lights. “We could use the Crucible right now. Your trials. This will be very helpful. You mean to stay, yes?” “I will. Long enough to show you how to implement the simulation; but tonight, I must disembark,” Osiris says. “So soon?” Osiris tenses his jaw in forced silence. He twiddles with code. “I’m worried about what Vance found.” Saint places a heavy hand on Osiris’s chest. “Let go of your obsession. Do not leave chasing phantoms again.” “Phantoms… You think the Darkness is satisfied? This is just the first move. I need to know the next before it’s made.” “If there is something you fear, let me help you. We face this together.” Osiris’s mind drifts to the Dark anomalies. Saint doesn’t need another burden. “The safest place for you is the Tower, Saint. Time... tends to renege on its gifts.” “So, your mission is dangerous?” Osiris considers lying. “Potentially.”
Immolant I.
There are many more sources I could list on his bluntness and honesty but there’s honestly too much. What is important to extrapolate from all of it is this:
OSIRIS SPOKE THE TRUTH NO MATTER IF IT GOT HIM IN TROUBLE. IT IS ONE OF THE MAIN REASONS HE GOT EXILED.
Protecting the City & Humanity
Idk where people get the idea that he’s abandoned the City and humanity. And I don’t understand where people think it’s “typical Osiris behavior” to choose to put the City in danger.
I want to make something very clear here:
Osiris was exiled. He did not abandon the City. And though others view him as abandoning it, that wasn’t his intention. He never intentionally abandoned it. Everything he did was in pursuit of a brighter future for humanity. Let’s look at one of his lines from the Sundial activity during Dawn.
“By the time I left the City, many believed my practices to be sacrilege. But my methods have prevented countless futures not unlike the one you walk now. When it is laid out before you, would you not sacrifice anything to see this future shut?”
The Sundial.
He left because he weighed his options and he saw that humanity would have better use of him if he left. He cares A great deal about the City. He cares almost too much about it. He would never give Lakshmi the technology to cause it harm, especially knowing that she’s unstable. And I’ve seen some people think he’s playing 5D chess? In what world would he ever choose to bring harm upon humanity for some sort of... agenda; which I’ve already cleared up earlier, he’s open about his plans.
Let’s look at more known lore about Osiris’s feelings of the City & humanity.
"You've wrapped your mind around an idea of your own making. I have always tolerated this fawning 'movement' of yours, but this is a step too far." Osiris seethed. Brother Vance was awestruck. He stared blankly at Osiris, unsure of what he could say to quell his anger and dissolve his frustration. "What I have discovered…" "…is dangerous enough to destroy every man, woman, and child in existence. You're meddling with forces outside your grasp," Osiris reprimanded. "I warn you here and now, remove yourself from this Lighthouse. Find a simple life. Start a family. Write music. Leave Mercury and this fool's errand behind."
Chapter 8: Idolatry.
Osiris was furious to find out Vance was experimenting in his name by endangering people for his goals. And he was especially mad that he would dive into such dangerous areas so much so that it had the potential to destroy humanity.
"It's truth." Osiris considers this. "Truth seems subjective these days," Osiris says, finally observing his entourage for the first time. Among them, a small group of men and women, stand two wayward Guardians—Warlocks, it appears—and a child. Their forlorn faces resonate with him. Castaways and believers. The weeks since his departure from the Last City have worn on him. He was used to working alone, knowing he could fall back to the City's resources should he need them. Now, adrift in the expanse of purpose, he finds himself longing for a place he could return to. A sanctuary.
Chapter 2: Postexilic.
Here’s a few lines from Season of Dawn:
“The Traveler, mutilated. Mercury, a desolate warzone. This is the bleak future the Cabal wants for us all. We do not know what has become of humanity here. I hope we will not find out.”
.
“There are many terrible futures, but I have not grown numb to seeing them. The future the Cabal wish for is a nightmare for humanity.”
.
“If the Traveler fled the system, there is a chance that the Darkness would ignore our region of the galaxy entirely. It would sacrifice our second awakening, our ability to wield the Light, but potentially continue our Golden Age. There are too many variables at risk, but it's a variant path worth investigating in the Infinite Forest.”
.
“This battered Mercury is a blueprint for our system. Lightless, bowed, and nothing more than fuel for an endless war. It must never come to pass.”
The Sundial.
There are many. Many. More lines I could put here about how much Osiris doesn’t want to see humanity suffering. And especially how he doesn’t want the City to be at risk. But I think you get the picture.
Know that the Vex are true Evil.
So. We all know Osiris as “the Vex guy.” His whole thing is on fighting the Vex. However it seems people think that he’d be okay with using them for grounds of a higher purpose? Or something? I don’t know, everyone I see rebuffing Osiris’s actions with Lakshmi don’t seem to be interested in explaining this one.
So anyways. Let’s talk about how Osiris views the Vex as true evil compared to other species.
“The Fallen are not so different from us. How hard would you fight if the Light were taken from you?” “Those stories ring false to me,” said Saint. “They are not a noble people. I’ve fought them, and so have you.” “I have not fought them all,” the Warlock replied, pulling his hands apart to create an intricate web of hovering cubes and points of light. “They are nothing, no threat—not like the Vex. Not like the Darkness.”
Vanguard Commander.
[u.2:06] Have you spoken to the House of Light, like I asked? [u.1:07] I would rather not speak with Fallen. [u.2:07] They may need our help. Their cause is just. [u.1:08] What happened to “trust no one?” [u.2:08] What happened to your sense of right and wrong, hero?
Maintenance Operations Log 30037.
The unenlightened wonder at my so-called "fixation" upon the Vex. They believe our gravest existential threat is the Hive, for those beings have made a pact with the Darkness itself via the medium of the Worm Gods (according to Toland, at least, and I see no reason to doubt him in this). But Darkness is not merely absence of Light. Darkness is an entity unto itself. Put simply, Darkness is not Nothing. But the Vex? The Vex seek neither Light nor Darkness. They seek Convergence, the reduction of all life to its simplest, most meaningless form. An entelechy of zeros and ones. "Evil" is a word for sentimentalists and fools. But, in the ontology of the sentimental, the Vex are more deserving of the term than the Hive. Given a choice between Darkness and Convergence, I would choose Darkness. It is a logical choice. Yet for this they banish me.
Kairos Function (Hunter).
This one is important because Osiris doesn’t subscribe to the idea of “good” and “evil”, and that he would go so far to say that the Vex are Evil shows just how much of a threat he views them as.
It’s just. Mind boggling to me that people think that Osiris would be okay with a Vex invasion. That Osiris would encourage Lakshmi to open up a rift to “send the Fallen away” (Despite being one of the earliest sympathizers!) Osiris isn’t ineffable, he’s just a man trying to do his best to help humanity. His actions aren’t difficult to understand, they have been written to be very clear and with understanding his motives.
Saying that it’s natural for him to be secretive and have contradicting opinions and actions is just. Wrong. It’s not him. It’s not how he’s supposed to be understood. Even in Curse of Osiris I don’t think his actions didn’t make any sense.
This is going to sound very mean but I want to be 100% clear: If you think that Osiris would actively choose to put the City in danger of the Vex, if you think that he would actively choose to stand calmly and watch as his lover was about to die to the very things he spent millions of lives to save... You don’t understand Osiris. Go back and reread his lore.
I leave you with this:
The Vanguard is dubious of our intent and ability, fearing corruption and displacement. They do not trust me. You were held in similar contempt for speaking your truth and empowering free thought. You know what it feels like to be chastised and labeled a traitor. We are mere steps away from a disintegration of our institutions, and they cannot see destruction staring them in the face. ... For so long, we have clung to the Light, denying the strength offered by the Dark. By using Stasis, we will end this war. We see this contest for what it truly is: a game, played by our adversaries. And we have been the pawns. We are pawns no more. This is not a battle I want to wage without you, although we may not have a choice in the matter. Wherever you may be, please come back to us.
To Osiris.
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demonslayedher · 3 years
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Buriko-Senpai! This is such a wonderful blog to read, and I love your art so much! It's so nice to see other traditional artists out there! What's your thoughts on the demon slayer marks and their affects after Muzan's defeat? Do you think they're a purely physical effect, or a supernatural curse like Ubuyashiki's? It seems like in the latter case it would be lifted? In Tanjiro's status report, he mentions wanting everyone to be happy "when he's gone", and hints of preparation for the future...
Thank you for the kind words on my art! (≧◡≦) Glad to know people like the style, I like the feel of trad art both for the final product and how the pen feels in my hand, haha~. I love all the additional possibilities in digital art, but will leave that to the people who are good at it. Glad you find my blog a good read too, because we’ve got another lengthy read ahead.
As for the mark and whether it works in a purely physical sense or a curse sense, I'm ok thinking of it in either way, depending on its purposes in post-canon fanwork (but of course, you can do whatever you want in fanwork totally inventing the mark or completely ignoring it too). As Gotouge never states exactly what becomes of Tanjiro, Giyuu, and Sanemi, I don’t feel we can declare it working one way or another. We'll consider it from both angles, but in general, I think canon evidence leans toward an avoidable physical impact. Even that, however, leaves room for interpretation on strict "25" might be or not.
If we approach the curse direction first, the worldbuilding surrounding the Ubuyashiki curse gives a lot of framework for the mark being a curse. The second fanbook even gives us more circumstance and age-related perimeters that seem very arbitrary, like how only one male will survive each generation and how the daughters will also die young by sudden illness or accident if they don’t marry out. As the curse is tied to Muzan’s/demons existence, it is completely lifted once Muzan is eradicated, but Kiriya still anticipates dying in his 20’s and does not feel relieved that it’s gone until he’s in his 30’s. This would put Giyuu and Sanemi in their 50’s if they’re still around, and with their own curses effectively gone, they’d probably have spent the past couple decades insisting to Kiriya that he can relax.
If the rebound of the mark is a supernatural curse, there are a couple other things that make sense about this to me, in the light of cosmic justice at play in this universe. First, it’s a general rule in a lot of philosophies and other works of fiction that to gain something powerful, you must pay the price and sacrifice something. Second, the Ubuyashiki family is cursed to carry the sins of one of its members until they can stop that demon member. While Demon Slayers may not necessarily be carrying the sins of demons, we see demon marks at play in this series first, though its effects are not clear until we see how Nezuko is stronger when her vines appear. A Demon Slayer also gaining extra strength like this is, perhaps, taboo.
As for the mark being a purely physical effect, I think the emphasis on physical effects of the mark (especially how in Chapter 129 Muichiro analyzes its effects on body temperature and the heart), and how throughout the manga it is continually stressed that the Demon Slayers are mere humans even if Breath helps them push the natural limits of human ability, lend to a more physical interpretation that in order to push so far past normal limits, it has to borrow against the natural human lifespan. This is how the characters in-universe also interpret its effects. If we look more into what Muichiro says:
Muichiro: The anger was too strong for me to have any handle on my emotions. I believe that in that moment, my heartrate exceeded 200 beats, and my body felt as hot as though it was burning. My temperature would had measured at least 39 degrees or more. Shinobu: !? Could you move like that? That would be life-threatening. Muichiro: Right. That’s why I think it’s a matter of falling into one category or another. Whether you die or survive that moment is what determines whether a mark will appear or not. Amane: A heartrate of over 200, and why a temperature of 39 degrees? Muichiro: That’s because when I was received treatment at Kocho-san’s place I was running a fever. When my temperature was taken, the thermometer read 39 degrees. At the time I would have been said to have a mark appear, my body was just as feverish.
(For reference, according to searching with the same terms used in the original text, your top heartrate is 220 minus your age, making Muichiro's 206 beats per minute. The average for someone in their 20's is 120~140, somewhat hard exercise would put it at 150, and hard exercise puts it at 170, according to the Borg scale. Normal body temperature in Celsius is 37 degrees; while 39 C = 102.2 F.)
If we look back at when Tanjiro is first facing off against Daki, he considers how he gets more power out of Hinokami Kagura than from Water Breathing because it suits his body better, but he is not yet physically capable of the switch between them. As he psyches himself out in Chapter 77, we see that he has physically been trying to prepare himself for this, and he’s shouting at himself to set his heart ablaze. Clearly, Tanjiro is leaning into that advice from Rengoku-san, and if he’s on his way to getting the mark, he’s been taking that advice somewhat literally.
In Chapter 78, as he purposely raises his own temperature to fight the side effects of switching to Hinokami Kagura, we get a flashback that Kiyo-chan was very worried that Tanjiro was running a temperature of 38 degrees (100.4 F) for three days, but Tanjiro begged her not to tell Shinobu yet because he felt fine in that sustained feverish state, and was able to put more power into Hinokami Kagura that way. (This may also be part of why the mark seems to have a different effect on Sun Breath users, as their body draws from this power in a more sustained way.)
We can probably think of most of the other Breath Users who attained the mark as having gotten it in a similar way to Muichiro. In a fit of high emotion and desperate battle, their body pulled from its natural reserves, and similar to a human and/or demon being exposed to lots of Muzan’s cells all at once and either dying or quickly adapting, they attained a mark and relied on that temporary extra burst of strength. While it either happens or doesn’t happen for the others (Muichiro plainly states he was unaware of a mark’s appearance) based on being the flow of tense battle, Himejima seemed to have gained enough ability that he could choose when he wanted to tap into that power. When we’re first left not knowing what else Amane told the Pillars, Himejima openly wonders what would happen in his case (seeing as he is over the age of 25). In the third light novel, we get a brief scene of Himejima pulling Muichiro aside after that meeting to ask if he’s alright with this, since he’s just found out that he has no chance already of living a long life. Muichiro is fine and wonders about Himejima, who is also fine with this. They both are willing to do whatever it takes to fight Upper Moons and know their survival has never been assured. Himejima goes on to say similar things to Kokushibo in Chapters 169 and 170, when we the readers are finally told about the limited life expectancy. The two of them both sort of expect Himejima to drop dead that night because of his limited stores to draw from. Himejima would had preferred to not raise his temperature so much until facing Muzan (seeing as he knows he’ll be racing against time), but knows he has no choice but to start while facing Kokushibo. Kokushibo is somewhat impressed with his control of getting a mark and his preparation to die, and he finds it a waste of Himejima’s ability and likewise is like, “why not preserve your flesh as a demon” because, as we find out in Kokushibo’s flashbacks in Chapter 178, this was part of what motivated him to accept Muzan’s blood. He couldn’t handle the frustration of his polished techniques being wiped out by a short life span, especially since it would mean he was soon out of time to match or best Yoriichi. If we go back to that conversation between Himejima and Kokushibo, Kokushibo loses his cool (hahaha, that feels like a bit of a pun here) the moment Himejima is like, “there was one exception to the rule though, wasn’t there?” I suspect that Yoriichi was the exception partly due to Sun Breathing being a more perfected, sustained form of pushing the limits of human capability, and Yoriichi being born naturally perfect at it, so his body didn’t need to scramble looking for extras sources of power like hastily (or slowly) borrowing against his lifespan. What’s very interesting about Kokushibo is that he also regularly sustained his mark, so perhaps it’s possible he could had lived past 25? Here's what really key: We also don’t know about these early marked users. Did they regularly sustain their marks, or did they only show up regularly when they battled demons, repeatedly borrowing against their future lifespan? Or was it a one-off thing for each of them, like it was for Giyuu and Sanemi? It’s possible that even if Giyuu and Sanemi are doomed to shorter lives, since they both only had the marks for relatively short periods of time on a single night, they might well exceed 25 years. The fact that Gotouge gave them descendants (as opposed to only implied reincarnations), and because they are both characters generally written as dense in the ways of love and close personal relationships, that sort of implies they needed some time before leaving behind offspring, and I hear a lot of voices in the fandom displeased with the idea of them leaving children behind when they know they won't be around to raise them. Since we don't know any canon details on this, let's cut the boys some slack and say they took a chance on being happy. After all, all their time in the Corp already teaches them tomorrow is never assured.
Side note while we’re on the Sanemi topic, he attains his mark right after Himejima brings his own forth (because Himejima is a badass who can just be like, “ok, now”). While he comments to Himejima what a good idea it was to do Pillar Training so he could attain that powerful state, it’s also possible that being in the presence of someone who already had one was part of what triggered Sanemi’s body to access that state as well. The nature of the mark’s spread from person to person is another tick in the “supernatural curse” box if people like that interpretation more.
Let’s take a look back at Tanjiro, though.
Tanjiro, our special Hinokami Kagura boy, was already a special case for his own knowledge of Sun Breathing (however imperfect), and his own sustained mark (though as Genya notes in Chapter 134, it tends to transform slowly, and as Tanjiro remarks in response to Shinjuro’s comments in Chapter 81, his mark was not something he was born with like the original Sun Breath user was, it was but a childhood injury which took on a different shape when he was injured at the Final Selection). While Amane cites him as the one who started the trickle of marks appearing again, we know in the Pleasure Quarter arc than Tanjiro was been unknowingly training himself to make the mark appear, like the Pillars later tried to do in training.
Tanjiro also, however, has the very unique experience of undergoing repeated cruel and unusual suffering in battle against Muzan, basically dying, turning into a demon with more of Muzan’s cells than any other demon in history, and turning human again with man-made medicine all in the span of about two hours.
We can’t really compare Tanjiro’s case to Giyuu’s and Sanemi’s very easily. Besides the slightly different nature of his mark (which Muzan says will still kill him anyway if he becomes human again, but whether he says that based on a cosmic rule or historical precident, we don't know), we simply don’t know all the details of how Tanjiro's flesh has been affected by everything that happened to him in that two hour period. It seems safe to say that becoming a demon is what saved his life since it rebuilt his flesh and supercharged life back into him, but since he wasn’t a demon long enough to have fully integrated those new cells, the entirely reconstructed parts of him (his left arm and right eye) are essentially lifeless. However, there may still be some amount of reclaiming that his body did during his demon minutes, for the whole right side of his face should be paralyzed (yet he can still use it expressively), and there was probably internal damage throughout his entire body and other various injuries (like stabbing himself) which were repaired enough for him to survive. Had he been a demon longer (long enough that his body with Muzan’s memories likely would had broken down the medicine Kanao gave him), my guess is that he would had fully integrated these body parts, like how Nezuko gets to keep her legs despite all the times they were blown or chopped off.
But we also know that Tanjiro had to take a few months to recover (his visitors looked like they waited the whole three months before getting permission to see him), and that his condition allows him to live and work, but he generally is in a weakened state. Again, rather than only having borrowed (on multiple occasions) against his own lifespan, we don't know the extent of the damage and repair he's undergone.
While he’s got 25 as a historical benchmark to anticipate, and as you mention, he does seem to fully anticipate that early demise, his case is so unique that it could go in any direction. Tanjiro might live longer than 25, as this would give him time to pass on Hinokami Kagura to at least his eldest son, but like Tanjuro, he’d probably have a pretty weak constitution for the rest of his dwindling life. But also worth noting, the phrase is that they die by at least age 25. That means some of the Warring States era swordsmen probably died before that age. (。•́︿•̀。) I don't feel this is likely for Tanjiro, Giyuu, and Sanemi, but it is worth noting as a possibility.
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nickyhemmick · 3 years
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A Very Stressed American Jew here again,
Hi! Thank you for taking the time to respond to my ask and yes, I’m someone who loves hearing as many perspectives as possible so I’d love some sources from you. I also very much appreciate the fact you are being very careful to only reblog posts that are anti Israel, not antisemetic (which is frankly a breath of fresh air, the internet has been a bit exhaustingly full of both antisemitic & Islamaphobic content these past feel days as I bet you’ve seen)
I’ve also been to Israel on a Birthright trip. We met people who ( both Palestinian and Israeli) on various sides of the conflict and learned a ton about it, from both perspectives which I was lucky to have the opportunity to do. We even went a little into the Gaza Strip to talk to these people running a pro Palestine peace movement and it was so important to me hearing those stories.
I never said they were on equal footing militarily, they definitely are not, Israel definitely has that advantage. But you are incorrect about Israel always being the aggressor since 1948,they’ve defended themselves about as often as they’ve attacked. Isreal is a small country comparatively to the ones surrounding it, so it makes sense it defends itself heavily in case of an attack.
I 100% agree that there are too many people who are compliant with the mistreatment of many Palestinians! I’m not anti #freepalestine at all! I get why that is a thing. But I also stand with Israel( but that does not mean I condone every action they take. ) Overall I think the situation is extremely complicated and some sort of compromise should be reached.
It’s just been very frustrating to see so many people reblog things on a situation just bashing Israel because so many others are doing it. Especially when then don’t know what they are talking about or using big buzz words that they don’t know what they mean, or spreading misinformation. It’s been on both sides and has been very very draining. I just want peace and some sort of solution. It makes me extremely happy you know what you are talking about and can debate politely yet happily about it. The internet has been so ‘ either agree with me 100% or you a bad person’ about this so it’s refreshing to see you are not like that.
I’ve done a lot of research into it from as many perspectives as I can get my hands on.
Some extremest Israelis are hurting Palestinians
Some extremest Palestinians are hurting Israelis
Both sides are throwing rockets at each other and it’s terrifying.
Both sides claim the other side is brainwashed
There is so much biased propaganda out there on both ends it’s hard to know what is truly happening.
I know people living in Israel who have sent me videos they’ve taken of rockets flying over there heads and I’m so scared for them. I’m so scared for all the innocent people caught in the crossfire on both sides.
Thank you for a more nuanced response and I’d love some of your sources,
A Very Stressed American Jew
Hi anon, 
I wasn’t going to respond to this until after my math final tomorrow but I’ve spent the past two days thinking of your ask and the things I wish to articulate in my answer. 
I am going to start here: how can you say you support Israel but say you are also pro-free Palestine (as in, you said you are not anti free Palestine). In my opinion, these two ideas cannot coexist. Simply because, the entire establishment of Israel has been on violent, racist, colonial grounds. 
(Super long post under here guys)
You said you don’t support all Israel’s actions, and definitely, just because you support something doesn’t mean you can’t criticize it. However, in my opinion, if you do not support Israel’s actions against Palestinians there’s not much left to support? I admit this is a very biased view as I am Palestinian, but many things that people support about Israel have existed before its creation: as in, these are things and qualities that have existed in Judaism and are not due to “Israeli culture.” There is no Israeli culture. There’s Jewish culture--100%. But there is no Israeli culture, because Israel does not only steal Palestinian land, but Palestinian culture, too. Such as claiming Levant food is Israeli; hummus, ful, falafel, shawarma. I mentioned food from this article I know is culturally and traditionally of the Levant, and has been for centuries, it is not something that has come to culinary creation in the past 73 years. 
I do not think this is a complicated issue. I said that in the previous ask and I’ll say that again. Saying it is a complicated issue is trivializing the deaths of innocent Palestinians, the violent dispossession our ancestors endured, and the apartheid they live under. I hope if anything comes from this discussion it is you removing the “it’s a complicated issue” phrase from your vernacular. 
This is not complicated. A journalist reporting the death of martyrs only to discover that of them include two of his brothers is not complicated. The asymmetry of Israel vs Palestinian armed forces is not complicated, nor is the asymmetry in Israeli vs Palestinian suffering (which I will get to later). It is not complicated.  Destroying the graves of martyred Palestinians (or just in general, the graves of the dead) is not complicated. Little children being pulled from the rubble, children being forced to comfort one another as they are covered in the ashes of their decimated homes, attacking unarmed citizens in peaceful demonstrations (you can find videos before this attack where they were playing with kites and balloons), destroying an international media office and refusing to allow journalists to retrieve the work they are spending every waking hour documenting but claiming it was because it was a hide out for a “Hamas base,” fathers who are trying to cheer their frightened children up only to end up dead the next day, while many Israeli have the privilege and the option to go to hotel-like bomb shelters is not complicated. 
This brings me to my next point: the suffering of Palestinians cannot be compared to the inconvenience of Israeli’s. On one side, you have children who are happy to have saved their fish in the face of their homes and lives being decimated behind them to Israeli’s in Tel Aviv having to cut their beach day short to get to bomb shelters. You have mothers and fathers ready to set their lives down for their children to save them from bombs to Israeli’s enjoying their brunch only after making sure there are bomb shelters there. You have Palestinian children being murdered to blocking out the sound of sirens in the safety of your bomb shelters. (The first picture of the Palestinian child is not from footage of the recent problems). You have the baby lone survivor of a whole family recovered from rubble. His whole family, gone, before he ever had the chance to realize that he even exists, while Israeli’s decide to flee out of the country,(Translate the caption from Twitter, it checks out), or have to leave the shower due to sirens. Who is really suffering? 
I won’t sit here and pretend like the thought of rockets flying over my head, no matter which side I am on, is not terrifying. It is. It’s scary to just think about. But Israeli’s have protection beyond Palestinian’s, they have sirens to warn them (Israel does not always warn Palestinian building members that it is about to be bombed), they have the Iron Dome, they have simply the threat of nuclear power (which I am not saying Israel would use, but the simple fact they have it would make me feel a lot better if I were an Israeli citizen) and they have bomb shelters. What do Palestinians have? Hamas? That smuggles its weapons through the ocean? That only ever reacts to the action Israel instigates? And yet Gazans are branded terrorists and that it is their fault that they “elected” a terrorist organization that only was ever created due to no protection from any armed country? (There are so many links I want to add in this paragraph but it is simply impossible for me to add everything I want, a lot of what I’m referring to can either be found through a Google search, or you can stalk my Twitter account, all that I am posting now is about Palestine, and will include sources of things I cannot add in just this one post.) 
Look, I see myself in the genocide happening in Palestine right now. I see myself in this ten year-old girl. In this three year old girl. I see me and my family in videos of cars being attacked in Ramallah and Sheikh Jarrah (I cannot find the Ramallah video, should be somewhere on my Twitter), I see my father in the countless videos of fathers crying out for their children, of kissing the corpse of their loved ones (again, translate the Tweet, the man holding the body is saying “just one kiss”). I see my grandfather in videos like this (old footage). I see my younger brother, I see my grandmother, my mother, my aunts and uncles and cousins. I see myself and my life and my family were my father not lucky enough to get a scholarship to the UK and out of Palestine, were my maternal grandfather not been lucky enough to make it to a refugee camp and build a life in Jordan. I have an unbelievable amount of privilege to be born into the life I was born in to, in terms of I do not have the threat of bombs and violent dispossession around me, and I do not even live in the US. I have privilege and sheer luck that my parents were able to go to the US so that me and my brothers can be born, because now I have both the protection of the most powerful country in the world while at the same time being part of a people to have suffered so generously the past seventy-three years. 
On the other hand, you saying that Israel has “defended themselves about as often as they’ve attacked. Israel is a small country comparatively to the ones surrounding it, so it makes sense it defends itself heavily in case of an attack,” I offer you this question: why are they using military grade guns and stun grenades in mosques to “defend” themselves from rocks? And before you mention that Hamas hit Tel Aviv, I remind you that Hamas did that due to the violence in the Al-Aqsa mosque square and the attempted ethnic cleansing in Sheikh Jarrah. The violence didn’t begin with us; the violence was brought out of Palestinians in resistance to the generations of oppression we have endured and the attack on Palestinian Muslims during the holiest night of Ramadan. Hamas has since asked for a ceasefire multiple times and Israel is refusing. New reports say there is a possibility of a ceasefire in the coming days, but Israel could have decided this a long time ago and spared many lives. (Remember, no matter what resistance we make, Israel is the one in power).
Israel has been the aggressor since 1948. Just read up about the Nakba! 700k Palestinian families were dispossessed violently. The only reason Israel was established at all was because it simply declared it was now a country and the US and many other countries recognized it as such. (Of course, there are many other historical details here, like the British Mandate of Palestine, the Balfour Declaration, the Oslo Accords and many others. I am aware of them but these are for a different post all together). My paternal grandfather was a little younger than me when Israel as a state was created. The hostility that followed was due to this independent declaration being listened to over Palestinian voices. 
Here is a very, very simplified analogy, one that can also answer some people’s questions as to why Palestinians (not Arabs, we are Palestinian before we are Arab) did not like what happened in 1948 and why they refused a two-state solution (that Israel was never going to go through with anyway). (I am also aware other Arab nations got involved, and that is perhaps what you mean when you said they had to defend themselves, but my response to that would still be we didn't start it, that we only responded to it).
Let’s say you are a farmer. You have many fields of trees, ones you have taken shelter under from the sun since you were a child, or hid behind when you wanted to avoid your parents when you misbehaved. You have seen your trees grow from a seed, to a sprout, to a flower, to a large, beautiful tree with fruits the size of a fist. You pluck the fruits from one tree, and make a jam from it. I don’t know how to make jam but I know it takes a lot of energy. So, you make this jam and from it, produce a lovely, mouth-watering pie. Once it has cooled from the oven, you take it with you outside your balcony just so that you can admire the years, months, weeks and hours this one pie has taken to be created. Suddenly, a stranger walks past and yells to you, “That pie looks delicious, I want it!” And you, shocked at their boldness but ready to share, say, “I will give you a bite.” But the stranger says, “No! I do not want a bite or a slice or whatever you want to offer me, I want the pie!” And they grab it from you. You and the stranger start screaming at one another about who the pie is for, who is allowed to decide what happens to it, and who you can share it with. Then, another stranger comes by and says, “Why all the problems? Let’s cut the pie in half and the both of you can share it!” But why should you, who has spent years cultivating the fruit and grain inside this pie, share it? Why should you give up half of the 100% that you already owned? Of what you already had? So you disagree, and now a crowd has formed around you. “What’s the problem?” someone in the crowd calls. “They don’t want to share their pie!” another voice says. Then you become branded a selfish, mean bastard. Again, this is a super simplified analogy, so don’t take it too seriously, but I am trying to show you why Israel is the aggressor.
In addition, I do not know too much about the Birthright program, just that American Jewish people are sent to Israel, all expenses paid. I tried my best to find the Twitter thread but I read it so long ago, about an American Jewish person who went on their trip and they talked about the propaganda that they were exposed to on that trip. I can’t say for sure that it is true, because I haven’t been on it and never will, but that is the first thing I thought of when you mentioned your Birthright trip. Either way, I think it is still great you went and saw the country. However, I must ask you this: are the people you met ones you, yourself, sought out, or ones you were organized to meet?
Now, I haven’t been to Gaza, so I don’t know what you really saw or didn’t, but did you speak to Palestinians who lost their homes to airstrikes? Did you speak to siblings, parents or children of loved ones who had been lost beneath the rubble of buildings and towers? Outside of Gaza, did you speak to Palestinians that live in poor quarters? Ones who have been victims of an IDF soldier shooting them, or who have family members who have died from such attacks? Did they take you guys to Ramallah, to Nablus, to Beit-Imreen, to Jenin, to small villages in the West Bank, far away from Jerusalem and Tel Aviv? Did you speak to people there? Ask them their stories? Because if you did I have a very hard time believing you still think Israel is “defending” itself.
I’ve been to Jerusalem, many times, even Tel Aviv and Jaffa and Haifa. All the times I visited Dome of the Rock there were IDF soldiers with huge guns strapped to their person, standing menacingly outside the courtyard. For what? Genuinely, genuinely for what? It is nothing but an intimidation tactic. The same way we are not allowed in through the airport. If you could see the struggle some Palestinians actually go through just to get into Palestine, through the land border, you would be disgusted. I love Palestine, it is my ancestry land, it is my culture and tradition. But I always hated going to visit because I knew the way to getting there would be hell.
My father worked in Tel Aviv through the first Intifada. My maternal grandfather was forced out of his home in the Nakba and was forced to leave behind his belongings and the orange trees that have been in his family for generations. Hell, the town they lived in was destroyed! It doesn’t exist anymore except in the memories of my aunts and uncles, who never even saw it, but just heard of it from their father!
I’m not saying there aren’t Palestinians who are racist and anti-Semitic (though, tbh, I will direct you here for that) and who support Hamas in killing Israeli’s, but talking about how there are many “extremist” Palestinians who are hurting Israeli’s and in the next line say there are extremist Israeli’s who are hurting Palestinians is not correct. There are extremist Israeli’s killing, lynching, stealing the houses of Palestinians, and there are Palestinians who are fed up and fighting back. (I am not talking about Hamas vs the IDF here, I am talking about the citizens). I have not seen one reported death of an Israeli due to Palestinian violence (if you have, from a trusted source, send it to me), but I have seen countless of the other way around. I have seen images of charred little bodies, of a baby being dug out of the rubble, of a child’s body that had been so mutilated that you can literally see the insides of their body coming out. (I don’t know if it’s on my Twitter, I didn’t want to save that shit). If this was my country I would be absolutely ashamed of myself and my people and what they are doing in the name of my protection. So you have to forgive me, and forgive other Palestinians, who don’t give a fuck about Israeli’s having anxiety over rockets flying over their heads when we see these images. Where is the protection of our kids? Why does no one seem to mention them except when mentioning the poor, innocent ones in Israel? At least more than the majority of them have their parents to comfort and rock them. At least many of them will probably be saved of ever having to be beneath the rubble of a destroyed building, or digging in it, to hope to find the parts of their parents or siblings just so that they can bury them. Just the links from the start of my answer is enough to support what I am saying.
I have soooo much more I can say, like how Israel uses religion to distort the image of what’s going on (tbh, just check my Twitter for that: language is EVERYTHING), but you didn’t mention religion in any of this and so I won’t either. The only reason I decided to respond to you in such length was because you have been one of the few respectful anons in my inbox in the past few years of me being on here talking about Israel, so I appreciate that from you. 
As promised, some more sources: decolonizepalestine is a good place to start if you haven’t used it already, it has reading materials, myth busting, and more. Here is a map list of destroyed localities from pre-1948 until 2017, run by two anti-Zionist Israelis. Here and here are the articles I promised of a former IDF soldier-turned Palestinian activist, I read these two last year in June and remember coming out much more informed than before I read them. I suggest looking into the writer and his organization, which, if I remember correctly, collects accounts from previous IDF soldiers. I would suggest not to follow Israel and the IDF accounts on any platform, or any Israel times newspaper, simply because they will not tell you the truth. In fairness, you do not have to follow any Palestinian Authority accounts (which I am not even sure there are), but to follow on-ground Palestinians like Mohammed El-Kurd, who has been speaking out since he was 12 (he is now 22) and he is part of the families in Sheikh Jarrah. I have noticed that this and this account have been translating Arabic headlines and tweets for non-Arabic speakers, I have just started following this person but their bio says they are a Palestinian Jewish person so I am interested in their view of things. You can also follow Israeli’s on-ground and see their perspective on things, but I would also advise to compare the Palestinian and Israeli side of things from the people, and critically analyze the language used in each case. Also, this article references Jewish scholars opposed to the occupation (I have not looked into them myself but I plan to after my exams), and Norman Finklestein is another great Jewish scholar to look into if you haven’t. Twitter is better than Instagram and Facebook, so I would stick to getting live-info from there, Twitter does not censor Palestinian content as much as Insta and Facebook so you’re more likely to see things there.
I will end this by saying I personally do not see any other option for peace than to give Palestinians our land back. Whether we may be Muslim, Jewish or Christian, it has always been and will always be our land. I only hope to see it free in my lifetime. 
Free Palestine. 
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jextraordinaire · 3 years
Text
I know I already reblogged a post about this but the thought of Wilbur going back to writing on the dream smp is stressing me out. I need to stop being protective of Technoblade's plotline and the dsmp plot in general but it's kinda hard. They're a huge part of my life (second to sleep and college) and seeing something I care about be "messed up" would really bother me.
In the interest of organization here's a list of poorly sourced paraphrased things that concern me in regards to Wilbur returning to writing. (In no particular order)
1) Technoblade's excitement about writing
In "a new home" Techno was so genuinely excited about writing. I just want him to be happy honestly
2) The revisions Techno made to Nov 16th
I'm sure everyone remembers how anticlimactic Nov 16th felt after Tubbo was declared president. It was way too easy since everyone defected from Schlatt. The Great President Handoff (tm) started to feel really lame after the dust had settled. All that work for nothing. But then c!Technoblade starts freaking out and goes rogue to fight the new dictatorship. And it was such a climatic ending
But if you remember, Techno said that Wilbur was gonna just have him as another fighter with no significant contributions. No vault, no withers, no Theseus. Maybe he would have managed to make the post president assignment less awkward and anticlimactic but I kinda doubt it. There wasn't much that could be done with it imo.
My point is collaborative story telling gave us Nov 16th not head writer Wilbur
3) Wilbur's cursed canon
The thing Wilbur said about being twins with Techno was never about the dsmp and rather the general family dynamic au that already existed (we know this because Wilbur said that in response to discourse about the au not canon). However the rest of Wilbur's cursed canon is still yikes. Having sex with a salmon, dating a sheep, the refrigerator mother, his references to the family dynamic on the server, etc. When Technoblade says "canon" for the 50th time when Tubbo dies no one takes it seriously. When Wilbur shitposts people update the wiki
4) Techno's commitment to clearing up false info
On a related note Techno's commitment to his characterisation keeps me going. He corrected the family dynamic and comes up with arguments against all the bad takes about his character. He makes fun of Tommy's blame game logic, fights bad character takes by other cc's and pushed for Nov 16th. I trust him to have our back on character and plot nonsense and Wilbur's sometimes opposite demeanor concerns me
5) Wilbur saying he would only come back to be head writer
Wilbur said (before the recent confirmation of him as a writer) that he would only come back if he was the head writer who got the final say. That obviously concerns me because he's coming back now, but the general attitude also feels bad. It insinuates that having his way in the writing is really important to him which doesn't bode well for other writers
6) Wilbur appreciating Tommy not wanting to control his character
Wilbur says (maybe in that same stream idk) that Tommy was super flexible with how Wilbur characterised him while Technoblade wasn't. I can't remember the wording but he sounding noticeably appreciative of Tommy's aquiesence to any sort of writing. Another attitude about writing that I worry won't mesh well
7) Wilbur saying he wanted more geopolitical plot
We have a lot of non geopolitical plot and I'm concerned for how he'd treat them
8) But like seriously Nov 16th??
9) How Philza got into the plot
Not a criticism but Phil got added to the plot and to the smp early because Wilbur wrote him in. What does that say for people Wilbur doesn't know who are running their own story lines. People got really mad over Niki not being involved in the plot like she wanted to and there was no head writer at the time. If you wanted your arc to be important you had to push for it. Now imagine Wilbur not letting someone into the central plot cause he's got his casting already prepared.
10) The exile arc would never have happened
Character driven story telling? Wilbur would never
11) The eggpire would definitely have not happened
Secondary plots that are supernatural and don't involve countries or politics?? No.
12) Techno's retirement arc would be unlikely
Certainly not with the level of development it got
13) -1000% chance of Doomsday happening
Large scale battle to settle conflict?? Not a chance
14) Tommy's hotel bit is cool after all the action
I feel like Tommy in the spotlight just gets repetitive. It's like a tv show desperately trying to make another season. I'm really glad Tommy stepping back from the eggpire arc and giving his character some room to breathe
15) Tommy's non dsmp videos are really good
Another point in the less main character Tommy please column. I personally find the mod videos so much more entertaining than his dsmp stuff. I feel like spending all your time on a server either walk around aimlessly or roleplaying a character someone else made just isn't peak content. Tommy vibing in non plot streams was where his better dsmp content came from. And now he's vibing in videos not even in the server
16) Wilbur plot holes
Despite being a writer before want collaborative story telling, Wilbur's writing has a lot of lore breaking plot holes. The family dynamic obviously, but also the age and death stuff. Fundy's age is a mess and Wilbur writing Phil in as his dad made it so much worse. Is Phil supposed to be 50? How old is Fundy actually? The inconsistency between which lives mattered and which didn't also came about while Wilbur was writing. A fan theory came in clutch but it was very frustrating before that point
17) Wilbur's joke about writing Ranboo out of the story
Obviously a joke but I dislike the implications that he would have that much power over other people's characters
------------
In summary no hate to Wilbur he's a super cool guy. Not all of this is his fault; I'm just concerned and wanted to vent. I trust Technoblade to put his foot down about writing but also I fear
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opalescient · 3 years
Text
haikyuu fic recs — the most beautiful, lovely, breathtaking masterlist (vol. I)
so i’ve been binging fics to cure my sadness, and i thought that these select masterpieces were too magnificent to not be plastered on every billboard ever. some tore my soul into shreds, while others melted said shreds back whole, but all of them made me feel some form of sheer, unadulterated love, so. please enjoy! 🥰⛅️✨
note: all of these fics are exquisite and you should read all of them, but if you’re short of time, those with ☆ are my all-time favourites!
daisuga
butterfly in the subway by bigspoonnoya ☆ | T
Sugawara Koushi has no idea he's already in love with the man he's supposed to hate.
i lovelovelove how all the concepts tied in together like a perfectly wrapped gift
also very wholesome, made me feel so inexplicably warm. like, love can exist everywhere!!! despite everything!!! that’s just so inspiring
i revisited this many times, i think it was (one of) my first haikyuu fics and honestly. it set the bar so high and i have no regrets
you’d fit my lonely arms so perfectly by boxofwonder ☆ | G
“Oh. You're. Not Asahi.”
Calmed down enough that he can speak again, Daichi takes a deep breath, his smile settling on his face easily and wide.
“Not as far as I know, no.”
-
Suga accidentally calls a stranger instead of his best friend, tells him all about his burned batch of cookies before realising, and that particular mistake might turn out the best one he ever made.
major, major fluff
the buildup!!!
god this made my yearning for love so much worse
the perfect stranger by downmoon | T
There’s a man standing outside Suga's door.
Scratch that. Start over.
There’s a man he doesn’t know standing outside his door, holding his sleeping nephew in one arm, with another kid clinging tightly to his free hand.
so domestic please read the entire series from start to finish it has my whole heart
shoyou and tobio as their actual kids 🥺
these two parents are so in love it makes me wanna cry
asanoya
silica sand by lilien passe ☆ | G
Overworked, over-stressed programmer Azumane Asahi works on the top floor of a Shinjuku skyscraper. Nervous around his coworkers and terrified of the long drop on the other side of the window, Asahi falls into a miserable routine, only to have it broken one day by a simple message on the outside of the glass.
PLEASE. so well-written it makes my heart glow and ache simultaneously
made me ascend into asanoya heaven
such a brilliantly unique concept i love it A+
qué syrah syrah by loudlucy | M
Asahi wants to be a Master Sommelier. It's the highest honor in wine service, and the certification would allow him to live the life he's always envisioned for himself. Too bad the certification test is notorious for being the world's most difficult.
Most people fail their first time taking the exam, and Asahi is no exception, but he has more difficulty than most dusting himself off and getting back on his feet. Enter Nishinoya, a young man who shares his same dream, and who believes in their goals so fiercely it forces Asahi to embark on a delicious and sensuous journey of viticulture and validation.
AKA The Wine Tasting AU that literally no one even knew to ask for.
NOTE: You Do Not Need to Know About Wine to Understand This Fic!
another super unique concept!!! (´∀`=)
my god their chemistry is amazing
the writing made me feel things ngl
stop my bones from wondering by cerasi ☆ | T
After graduation, Asahi hides from the world and needs help from a few sources to find his way back.
i want to write sonnets and sing ballads for this fic, it’s that beautiful
as always, Top Notch Writing *chef’s kiss*
no but i seriously... can i kiss the author? asking for a friend 😳👉🏼👈🏼
iwaoi
star-crossed by starlitcities | T
“I never thought I’d see the day that I’d envy a human,” Oikawa admits, showering himself in tiny suns, because he can actually feels those, like a fusillade of warm kisses on luminous skin that leave marks. To humans, they’d be freckles. Skin stars, Oikawa calls them. He didn’t make that up, a human did.
“Who created the rule that we can’t touch, I wonder,” Iwaizumi ponders, floating heedlessly through space.
“Maybe it’s because we can fly. Humans dream of flying, right?”
“I don’t think so.”
gsjsgsjshsjshsjsj star!iwaoi
they’re LITERALLY STARS
beautifulbeautifulbeautiful i love how the author conveyed the beauty of touch and humanity 🥺🥺
please bless yourself further with the sequel sun-kissed
conquering the great king by suggestivescribe ☆| E
Iwaizumi blinked his gaze over to Oikawa, "Last time was supposed to be a one time thing," he said, voice low, lacking some conviction.
Oikawa's lips twitched into a smirk and he brought them hovering just over Iwaizumi's, "One time thing, Two time thing, what's it matter as long as it's not a Relationship thing?"
yes.
in fact, this entire series (breaking the rules) features daisuga, kuroken, asanoya and it’s SO GOOD. every single one.
but anyway, character development!!!!! plot!!!!!!!!! writing!!!!!!!! i’m here for it all
tsukkiyama
campfire in your chest by deanpendragon ☆ | M
Kei realizes in their second year of high school that he’s probably been in love with Yamaguchi since they were ten. However hopeless he might be in handling that situation, Kei prays he’s at least not as hopeless as Hinata and Kageyama. But he just might be.
SO BEAUTIFUL
i am also a sucker for anything with stars, moons and all the love in between
no words to describe this work of art please just go read it and be blessed
under the lilac tree by raewrites | G
there’s a lilac tree in Kei’s backyard.
gorgeous in its simplicity
softtsukkisofttsukkisofttsukki
not as grandiose as the rest but the love written into every word, action and character is absolutely show-stopping
kagehina
saffron and cayenne pepper by dontsaycrazy ☆ | T
Cooking is hard. Even if you have your very attractive, very grumpy neighbor there to help you.
-
In which Hinata's lack of cooking skills are a danger to him and others. Luckily (or not), Kageyama is willing to teach him, if only for the sake of avoiding any burned down apartments.
the essence of their characters were captured so well and yet it’s like they’re completely new characters too? author, whoever you are, you totally owned this
this made me ship kagehina so hard
fluff! cuteness! lots and lots of cooing!
kuroken
the galaxy is endless (i thought we were, too) by cosmogony ☆ | T
soulmate
/ˈsəʊlmeɪt/ • noun
A person who was made from the same star as you.
-
// Kuroken AU where the last words your soulmate will say to you appear on your skin when you turn 16, and how Kenma and Kuroo learn what this means over the course of their lives.
ahhh here it is. beautiful, heartbreaking, soul-emptying agony. you want angst? choke on this, and your tears later on.
no but seriously please read this if you haven’t you won’t regret it at all i promise
written from kenma’s perspective so you experience every depth and multitude of emotion he does and it’s so raw and- brb imma go cry for a sec
knot in my heart by hearthope | T
There’s a picture. Kenma blinks, looking at the little calico cat, being held up next to the face of a guy with stupidly messy hair and a crooked grin.
Cute.
The— the cat. The cat is cute.
Just the cat.
-
Kuroo starts spending a lot of time at the flower shop Kenma works at. Kenma definitely isn't into him.
okay so i like it when authors unravel a normally stoic character’s full scope of emotion and give them depth, sue me.
anyway, back on the fluff train!
i absolutely f*ck with flower symbolisms, cats and bitchy best friends who have dirt on each other. the layers of romance, friendship and everything in between is so prettily developed 10/10
bokuaka
the jacket you never returned by daisuga ☆☆ | G
He leaned over, kissed Bokuto on the cheek, and smiled bitterly, eyes watery.
He will never remember. Not now, not ever.
What they were will now forever be forgotten.
-
"You used to call me Keiji, Koutarou."
YOU USED TO CALL ME KEIJI, KOUTAROU!!!!!!!!!!
i beg you to listen to Spiegel im Spiegel when it’s first mentioned in the story please
i read this and screamed through my tears for a solid 1.5 hours. i rarely cry.
no f*ckin regrets though i read this thrice already and it hurts so good every time
rules by conesofdunshire ☆☆ | E
In which Akaashi Keiji is an overworked accountant who stumbles upon Bokuto one night playing the piano in the lobby of his work. Bokuto is different, that much is obvious. But with such supreme musical talent and a smile so dazzling it rivals the sun, there's just something about him that brings Akaashi back every night.
this fic. this fic has my whole, broken, sobbing heart and laughing soul
gorgeous. breathtaking. magnificent.
bokuto is so WARM and akaashi is so STRONG and they both find the solace they need in each other and it’s all i want for me 😭😭😭
in another life by littleluxray | T
Sleeping didn't come as easy as it used to. Bokuto knew this, and now Akaashi did, too.
The hospital AU that no body asked for, but that I took upon myself to write.
this is a famous fic that i doubt any seasoned haikyuu reader wouldn’t know, and RIGHTLY SO BECAUSE, the PAIN. the pain. the pain.
i could feel my lungs shrivel up and my chest cave in on itself. fatigue and rest are things i struggle with too so this whole story resonated with me from start to finish, and it broke me. in like, the best, most revitalising way
i would read this again but it still haunts me at night. i need to heal from the first time before i have the guts to try one more time HAHAHA 😆💔😭
tea-stained polaroids by dalyeau | G
“I'm gonna date that,” Bokuto declares solemnly, and Kuroo throws a plastic spoon at his head.
mmmmmmm pretty photographer + personalised coffee cups + cute baristas = diabetic fluff fic
i smiled so much throughout this you have no idea. cheeks achey but so good
i may have squealed a little at the ending
kurotsukki
moonfall by batman | T
There is no unlearning Tetsurou, after all. There is only leaving him.
-
(Five things of Tetsurou's that ended up in Kei's home, and one that never left.)
the writing!!!!!! is pure beauty!!!! sheer grace!!!!!!! the construction of the AU and the romanticism and hsjsgsjshsj
didn’t cry but. heart ache and bittersweet smiles are another level of misery that is just as fulfilling
yea just pleasepleasepleaseplease go read it thank you and have a good day
hidden gem by realmSpinner | E
Things get complicated when everything you thought you knew about a guy changes, and they get even more complicated when you actually start liking those changes.
That guy working with you AND becoming your neighbor? That's just a cherry on top of the cake of confusion.
this AU was refreshingly different, and amazingly so
top!tsukki??? sign me the f*ck up
the whole plot, man. perfection.
pings by barfs ☆☆ | T
[5/02/16, 3:50:17 AM] Tsukishima Kei: Please wake up.
[5/02/16, 3:50:23 AM] Tsukishima Kei: I hate begging. You know I hate it.
[5/02/16, 3:50:34 AM] Tsukishima Kei: I bet you’re snickering at that, wherever you are.
[5/02/16, 3:50:53 AM] Tsukishima Kei: But, it keeps hurting and I don’t know why and it feels like shit and I know you could tell me why, but you’re not here and I would really appreciate it if you’d just wake up.
[5/02/16, 3:51:02 AM] Tsukishima Kei: You’re laughing at that too, aren’t you.
[5/02/16, 3:51:10 AM] Tsukishima Kei: Dying is probably up there in the list of top ten shitty things you’ve ever done, and you’ve done a lot of shitty things.
god.
you already know what’s coming, and yet. when it comes.
how the f*ck did the author make grief beautiful????????? (at the expense of me dying along with kei and everyone else i guess)
this fic will ruin you and bury you under all your pain (i hope you’re ready)
but also put you back together with the “sequel”
kyouhaba
close to the chest by darkmagicalgirl | T
It takes Yahaba thirteen years to realize he's different from the other kids, one to figure out how to hide it, and two more to learn to be happy just the way he is. Yahaba's journey ft. an extremely annoyed Kyoutani, best friend in the world Watari, and loads and loads of good senpai Oikawa.
cause i’m (not) alright with the slow, burn~
no fr, take slow and burn very seriously
overthinking yahaba? i understand. i do.
again, such an amazing fic; 10/10 recommend
safe here by crossbelladonna ☆ | M
“Raids are routine work,” Kyoutani tells to Yahaba before he can air the question. “Sometimes there is no sleep done until we accomplish something, say kill a certain ghoul. I guess they’re still going through the possibility that people in the accident are still alive huh?”
Yahaba quirks a smile, pushing his mask up his head.
“You’re alive.”
Kyoutani looks at him intently and all of the things that they’ve gone through for the past month seems to flash in his mind.
“Yes I am.”
i haven’t watched tokyo ghoul but i understood everything perfectly. such is the power of f*cking kickass writing
*cue ugly crying and a lot of unresolved angst*
like the grief??????? ruin me please thank you 🙏 (i think i’m a little masochistic)
rare pairs
mannequin men by surveycorpsjean ☆ | M
[bokuto/akaashi/kuroo/tuskishima]
The modelling world is full of hungry wolves, constantly clambering over the other, snarling and desperate. They fight, and they kill, trampling over anything in their path.
In this case, Akaashi fell in love with the wolves.
i did not expect this to be good, and it wasn’t. it was SPLENDID.
akaashi is so enamoured with them from the get go i love it
a tiny bit of angst that stabbed me in the heart, but the happy ending soothed it (thankfully, because if there wasn’t one i will sue)
characterisation, writing, plot development; everything is great. can you tell i’m running out of synonyms for ‘beautiful’
feel like gold by heronfem ☆☆ | T
[bokuto/akaashi/kuroo/kenma]
In which Kenma is unapologetic and comfortable with who he is, Akaashi learns a lot about himself in a short period of time, Kuroo is wildly in love and an eternal survivor, and Bokuto remembers that love doesn't cure mental illness, but having a support system sure helps a lot.
Or, the one where 4 young men get together, and are helplessly, hopelessly, utterly in love despite everything.
e.e. cummings?? poetry??? f*ck yes
so beautiful. i’m so star-struck by this fic it’s simply stunning
there are no words to fully capture how worth your time and heart and mind reading this fic is so please. do yourself a favour, and fall in love with this fic with me
the sky and guilt are the only feelings i have left by oopsthisisqueertoo ☆☆ | not rated
[bokuto/akaashi/kuroo]
Akaashi is at his wits end. He feels nothing. He's quickly crumbling as a human being. He wants nothing but sweet release of death. In his fourth year of college he drafts a plan for his suicide. He is to graduate, publish writing for others to be inspired by, and slip quietly away. Shortly after, he meets a dog walker named Bokuto who asks him out and Akaashi reluctantly agrees. Nothing matters anymore and he treats Bokuto like an obligation. Until he's not anymore.
TW: SUICIDE ATTEMPTS & DEPRESSION
this was... this gutted me entirely and filled my body with too many shades of agony
arguably one of the best haikyuu fics i’ve ever read
so beautiful in the most painful way fathomable; strongly recommend
april to may by surveycorpsjean | T
[bokuto/akaashi/kuroo/tsukishima]
They're an odd family.
The four of them? Parents?
But still, they're a family.
So they'll support each other until the end.
aaahhhhh third gym as parents 🥺
so much fluff. i also love april and may
they’re still so in love there’s love in every millimetre of this fic :”)
that’s it for now! i’ll add more if i come across anymore good fics. i hope you enjoyed this list! if you have any requests/fic recs, or if u just wanna chat, feel free to just ask! hehe 🥰 k aight bye~
198 notes · View notes
iceeckos12 · 3 years
Text
time travel snippet
little time travel au oneshot. season 5 jon travels back in time to season 1. from the perspectives of tim, martin, and sasha. 3.5k.
i dont think i need to tag anything, but please let me know otherwise.
Tim wakes up that morning, and it’s just like any other day.
Well—no, okay, that’s a bit misleading. Today is his first day working as an archival assistant, so he’s one part nervous, one part that breathless, exhilarated feeling you only get when you’re about to do something unfamiliar that may or may not redefine your life for the foreseeable future. When he says “it’s just like any other day”, he means that he wakes up, and he’s a normal person doing normal people things like eating a healthy breakfast and going to work.
(So, no. In short, he doesn’t realize that today is the day when It happens, that big, life-changing event that you think will Never Happen To You.)
He gets out of bed, stumbles into the bathroom. Washes his face of whatever residue that’d built up during the night, tries to scrape away the evidence of his nightmares, smiles big and bright at the mirror to see how successful his efforts were. He’s betrayed by the traitorous bags beneath his eyes, but that’s okay. Sasha taught him how to wield concealer as a shield whenever his past wore down his armor.
He shoots twin finger guns into his reflection, making soft pew, pew! noises that are almost too-loud in the hush of the bathroom. Then he turns on his heel and walks away, sauntering and humming along with the chorus of Dolly Parton’s 9 to 5.
He gets to the Institute twenty minutes before he’s supposed to—not because he’s trying to impress his boss or whatever (he and Jon have known each other long enough that there’s no point). It’s just, Jon will probably want to make some sort of game-plan before the actual workday starts. 
The poor man had been relieved to an almost comical degree when Tim had said yes, I’ll come with you to the Archives. It’s painfully obvious how out-of-his-depth Jon is with the whole “Head Archivist” thing. Tim’s honestly baffled as to why Elias had singled him out for the position in the first place, considering his lack of qualifications.
But, whatever. It’s fine! Tim and Sasha will be there to help him—although the third assistant is a bit of a problem, considering that they know absolutely nothing about him. There’s no guarantee that this Martin Blackwood won’t report inadequacies or mistakes back to Elias. If that’s the case, Tim and Sasha will have to be Jon’s safety net, which is partially why Tim is hoping to talk to Jon before anyone else gets there.
He also wants to talk to Jon because he just knows the man is probably working himself up over all of this. Maybe reassurances won’t do away with the source of anxiety entirely, but at least it’ll remind Jon that he’s not alone, and that he can count on Tim and Sasha.
As expected, when Tim gets there he can see a sliver of light pouring out from the cracked door of the Head Archivist’s office. He selects a desk and sets his bag on top of it, noting a set of strange gouges in the fake wood with a raised eyebrow, and then an internal shrug. The Institute issued laptop is near the far edge of his desk, and his collection of pictures are strategically placed so that he can see them all clearly.
His eyes linger over the image of him, his mother, and his brother. Their smiles are almost perfect replicas of each other, like someone took a mold of one of their faces and recreated it twice over.
Briefly, he closes his eyes. Then he shakes himself, releases a slow, steadying breath, and goes to check on Jon.
Tim’s not sure what he’s expecting to see when he goes into Jon’s office.
(That’s misleading too, though. He’s not sure if Jon will be visibly calm or upset, if he’ll be on his laptop, if he’ll be picking at the skin around his fingernails, as he so often does when he’s stressed. He is expecting Jon as he is and always has been—a twenty-some year old going on sixty, who wraps his gruff, grumpy demeanor about himself to protect the soft, vulnerable core he likes to pretend doesn’t exist.)
He comes up to the door, and the soft rectangle of light that emanates from beneath the door paints the tips of his shoes gold. “Jon?” he calls softly, rapping his knuckles against the frame. There’s a soft rustling noise—papers maybe? but no audible response, so he shrugs and pushes the door open. “I’m coming in.”
Tim steps inside, a quip instinctively readying itself on his tongue—but then his gaze lands on Jon, and he freezes dead in his tracks.
Even years later, he still vividly, viscerally remembers the moment he saw Danny standing on the stage underneath the Royal Opera House, the way he’d looked...not quite right. The wrongness had been subtle, so much so that it had been unnoticeable upon first glance, upon second glance. The longer Tim had looked though, the more obvious it had become, exposing all the little faults in that almost-perfect recreation of his brother.
Looking at Jon now, it’s the first and only thing he can think of. Because—yes, there’s the long, silver-streaked black hair, there’s the rich brown eyes, there’s the pair of spectacles that make him look far older than he actually is. But that’s where the similarities between the Jon he knows and this Jon end.
Jon’s always been a small man, but his feigned haughtiness makes him seem much bigger than he actually is. Except—except this Jon looks smaller somehow, his shoulders curved protectively inward, like he’s trying to present less of a target. And there’s something about his face, too—his expression is too sharp, too much—
But the worst of it is his eyes. There’s something very wrong with his eyes.
Who the fuck are you, and what have you done with Jon? He doesn’t say it out loud though, just keeps staring at Jon, a heady mix of terror and horror making any sort of reaction impossible.
After a moment Jon’s lips thin, contorted by some distant cousin of displeasure, and he rises to his feet. Tim stumbles instinctively backward, his breath escaping him in a sharp gasp that’s immediately swallowed up by the apathetic stacks of books and papers surrounding them. He’s struck by the fact that if he dies here, it’s unlikely anyone will notice; he’ll become just another set of marks gouged into the desk, willed away with an uneasy shrug.
Jon freezes, lips parting subtly, as though he were about to speak. Tim feels his breath catch in his chest, unable to shake himself out of the clouded stupor his mind has fallen into.
In the end, Jon says nothing. Just releases a long, slow breath of air and sits back down, pushing his chair close to his desk. The motion looks heavy, tired, as though it takes far more energy than it should.
“You—you should go,” Jon rasps, and there’s something off about his voice too, though Tim can’t put his finger on why. He can’t cobble together enough of a train of thought to make sense of any of this, all he can think of is that clown ripping Danny apart—
He stumbles out of Jon’s office, sits down at his desk. Stares down at the cheap, fake wood, at the gouges that have marred the otherwise pristine surface. Puts his head in his hands, and tries to will his heart to stop pounding in his chest.
-0-
Martin’s heard things about Jonathan Sims.
He’s not usually the type to pay attention or encourage gossip, as the vivid memories of his classmates tittering cruelly whenever he walked by still leaves a sour taste in his mouth.The problem with the Institute is that the employees get bored pretty easily. Though most would consider academic research into the esoteric and the paranormal to be fairly interesting, it’s still academic research. And the subject content can get to be a bit...repetitive. There’s only so many gruesome statements you can read without thinking, oh great, more meat.
So the employees gossip a lot, and while Martin usually tries to keep his head down and avoid it, it’s difficult not to overhear some things. And from what little he’s heard, he’s...a bit concerned. Rude and unsociable has frequently been mentioned, as have arrogant and unnecessarily finicky, and worst of all, a bit of a stuck-up know-it-all.
Normally he tries not to put too much stock in office gossip—he’s well aware that the grapevine tends to exaggerate one’s most undesirable traits—but if any of it is true, then he might just be in trouble. It was hard enough being a library employee when his boss wasn’t even paying attention most of the time. If Jon is as exacting as they say, it might be enough to expose the fact that Martin has no idea what the fuck he’s doing. And if that happens, then he might get fired, and he can’t get fired, he needs this job, he can barely keep up with his mum’s medical bills as it is—
Calm down, Martin tells himself firmly, pressing his hand against his sternum, as though that will be enough to quell the rising panic. It’s only your first day. Maybe he’s nice, and we’ll actually be good friends.
(With his luck? Yeah, right.)
The Institute looms in the distance, growing closer with every terrified, grudging footstep. A shiver runs up his spine at the sight of its imposing presence, a dark, ugly blot of a building against the backdrop of the iron grey clouds.
If there’s one thing he’s good at though, it’s keeping his head down and muddling through until he’s able to figure out what is actually expected of him. He can twist and fold himself into whatever role they need him to fill, as he has done so many times in the past. Not easily perhaps, but he has always managed. The alternative is untenable, after all.
So he takes a deep breath, and shoves his panic down as deep as possible. Lifts his head and forces a smile onto his face, like a good attitude will be enough to protect him from his boss’s wrath.
He could really do with a cup of tea.
Martin trudges down the stairs, giving the blank walls, the old-fashioned carpet, a dubious look as he does. The Archives themselves are as he remembers it—he’s been down here a couple of times when Gertrude made a request for something specific, but—
He pauses when he notices a man sitting at one of the desks, his face buried in his hands. His shoulders aren’t shaking and his breathing is even, so Martin doesn’t think that he’s crying? He’s just….sitting there, his stillness so perfect it’s almost inhuman.
“Hello?” Martin calls softly, cautiously, shifting his weight to the balls of his feet.
The man looks up, revealing a very handsome face and brown eyes so dark they may as well be black. His cheeks are dry but his eyes are bright and a little wild, and his mouth is pressed into a small, tight line. He doesn’t speak, just keeps watching, blinking dazedly in Martin’s direction. Martin gets the feeling that this person isn’t entirely there at the moment, like a house in which every room is lit, but there are no people inside.
He swallows and shifts nervously back and forth, trying to decide whether or not to call for some backup. Eventually he sets his bag on the floor and shuffles a bit closer. “Um—are you—is everything okay?”
The man blinks rapidly, some semblance of awareness creeping back into his gaze. He shakes his head slowly, pushes his short, gelled hair back from his head. His hands are trembling. “I’m...yeah, I’m fine. It’s—everything’s, it’s…”
But then his gaze lands on something over Martin’s shoulder, and all the color drains out of his face, his mouth shutting with a painful sounding click. Martin quickly spins around, searching for whatever could’ve scared him so much—
There’s someone standing in the doorway of Gertrude’s office.
There are so many things that one normally takes in upon first meeting another person: their hair, their skin color, all the little wrinkles and marks that give you the briefest insight into their life. Martin looks at posture first, tends to check if a person is intentionally looming, or if they’re making themself smaller.
But all Martin can see are the eyes.
There’s—two of them he thinks, but two is such an arbitrary number when the thing you’re applying it to doesn’t ascribe to human values (he’s not sure how he knows that—how does he know that—?). That horrible, terrible gaze is an unerring arrow, all-encompassing, all-consuming, piercing the deepest corners of his mind. It hurts in some distant, nebulous way he’s not even sure he comprehends—
Then he blinks, and the sheer terror, that feeling of the horrible, violating exposure of everything that he is, abruptly snuffs out. What’s left is just a person, wispy and small, his slight frame fairly drowning in a chunky, cable-knit jumper. He’s leaning against his doorframe, his eyes—two big brown ones, rich and unfathomably sad and more than that, human—drinking Martin in, his lips parted in a soundless gasp.
“Um—” Martin glances over his shoulder, and almost leaps out of his skin when a land falls heavily on his shoulder. The man who’d been sitting in the chair is standing just behind him, a strained but polite smile on his face.
“Hi Jon,” the man says, an undercurrent of a warning in his voice.
Martin glances between the two, his confusion growing with every passing moment. This is not what he was expecting when he first came into work today, and the uncertainty makes him feel strange and off-kilter.
The person in the door swallows once, twice, then straightens, one hand still gripping the doorframe like it’s the only thing keeping him upright. When he speaks, his voice is soft, tentative, a little ragged around the edges. “Tim. It’s, um...it’s good to see you.”
“Martin Blackwood, was it?” Tim continues, injecting a bit of cheer into his voice. It takes Martin a moment to realize that he’s being addressed, and he shoots Jon—this is Jonathan Sims?—an uncertain look before nodding slowly. “We’re happy to have you on the team.”
“O-Oh?” Martin squeaks, then grits his teeth and bodily forces his voice back into its normal range. “I’m—um, I’m happy to be here?”
“Good,” Tim says through a grin that looks more like a grimace, giving Martin’s shoulder a friendly pat. The look he shoots Jon is a dark, mistrustful thing. The look Jon gives him back is fragile, vulnerable, that winds the tension in Tim’s shoulders so tight it has to be painful.
Jon’s gaze flickers to Martin, just for a second—and then he disappears into his office, leaving the door cracked behind him.
Tim and Martin stand there for a second, staring at the door. Tim’s still tense as a bowstring, and his grip on Martin’s shoulder is almost uncomfortable. The air in the Archives feels stuffy and too warm, and there’s a strange prickling sensation on the back of Martin’s neck, like he’s being subjected to close scrutiny.
Then Tim sighs and lets go of Martin’s shoulder, a little of the tension bleeding out of him, and without it he looks small, deflated. He goes back to his desk and sits down, booting up his laptop without a word of explanation to Martin.
Martin stares at the back of Tim’s head for a moment, a number of questions clamoring around in his brain—what the fuck was that? What’s wrong with Jon? Why are you so obviously suspicious of him?—but the words won’t come. Breaking the silence feels...sacrilegious, somehow. Every breath of air sticks against the back of his throat.
In the end, he doesn’t say anything either, just sits at his desk and takes out his Institute-issued laptop. Stares blankly at the screen as the machine slowly, laboriously, comes to life.
-0-
Sasha’s not entirely sure how to interpret the tense atmosphere that has descended over the Archives.
The first day she’d arrived a couple of minutes before she was supposed to, prepared to follow Jon’s direction and help him adjust as best she could. (Her feelings about Jon’s promotion...didn’t matter. She didn’t like it, but it wasn’t his fault that Elias was an old-fashioned misogynist.)
But when she’d come down the stairs, Tim and the assistant she didn’t know, Martin, had been seated quietly at their desks. They’d both had the same distant, shell-shocked look on their faces, like they’d received some shattering, horrible news. Sasha had sent Tim a confused look, but he either hadn’t noticed it, or hadn’t wanted to explain.
She hadn’t even seen Jon that first day, just received a polite email asking her to start organizing the statements according to the system which he’d devised.
It’s been almost three days, and nothing has changed. Oh sure, they’ve all started organizing the statements as directed. Tim cracks jokes, Martin tiptoes around them and makes copious amounts of tea. That strange tension that makes the hair on the back of her neck stand up, like the world is holding its breath in anticipation, hasn’t faded though. And while she doesn’t know Martin all that well, she knows that something’s still up with Tim. He seems more subdued than usual, keeps sending uncomfortable looks in the direction of Jon’s office—
—which hasn’t been open since that first day. She hasn’t seen Jon at all either, no matter how early she arrives or how late she stays. The only proof she has that he’s still alive is the polite email she periodically receives, detailing some specific task that he wants for them to do.
Even then, his emails are...odd. She’s not sure how she can tell, but they feel...awkward? Stilted? Like he’s only half-aware of what he’s typing, or like he’s only asking them to do things because he feels like he should, not because he has any actual goal in mind.
Normally she’d be frustrated by this, would complain bitterly to Tim about Elias passing over her for someone who obviously doesn’t properly appreciate the position they’ve been given—except that she knows Jon. He’d made a point to explain the situation to her himself, an apologetic twist tucked into the corner of his mouth. More than that, he’d asked her to follow him to the archives, saying that he wanted the two people he trusted most, her and Tim, to come with him.
He respects her too much not to take this job seriously.
The strangeness of the archives is only emphasized by Jon’s complete and utter lack of presence within it, but she doesn’t—she doesn’t buy that. She doesn’t believe that he’d just suddenly decide not to do the job he’d been so anxious to excel at. 
More damning than anything is Tim’s complete, utter silence regarding Jon’s strange behavior, but whatever he knows about it, he isn’t saying anything. Martin is willing to talk, but he seems to be as lost as she is.
“I—that first day, Jon…” Martin shrugs, shooting a nervous glance toward the door leading to the archives. He’s been spending a lot of time hovering in the break room making tea, not that she can blame him. “He—I mean obviously I don’t know him very well, but he seemed...upset?”
“Upset,” Sasha repeats dubiously.
Martin lets out an exhausted sigh and turns away, waving a dismissive hand. “Look, I’m not entirely sure how to explain it. He just—okay, so, bear with me for a second, but he reminded me of this guy who used to live in my neighborhood.”
Sasha backs off, folding her arms and leaning against the counter. “Okay?”
“There was this little old couple that used to live in my neighborhood. They were—they were really sweet! The husband used to give candy to us younger kids. But um—sometimes you’d see him sitting in the rocking chair on his porch, and it was like...he wasn’t entirely there? Like, he’d just sit there for hours, rocking and staring at nothing. That’s—that’s what Jon’s expression reminded me of.”
Martin gets more animated the more he talks, Sasha notes; his hands move in broad, sweeping gestures, his expression twisting into an expression of extreme concentration. The moment he finishes he deflates again, tucking his hands into his armpits self-consciously, a hedgehog curling protectively in on itself.
“So, yeah,” he finishes eloquently.
“Huh,” Sasha says thoughtfully.
She gets back to her desk. Looks over at Tim, who’s studiously working through a box of statements, his mouth set in a neutral, concentrated frown. Takes a deep breath, letting the taste of dust and old papers sit heavy on her tongue.
Then she opens her laptop and starts looking through the catalog of cursed items that are currently being held in Artifact Storage.
(She doesn’t think that she’ll find anything, but—but just in case.)
-0-
They all get the call the next Monday morning: Elias Bouchard was found dead in his office.
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