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#i have no hills to do die on i keep skipping sides
pinazee · 10 months
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I support Jim Kirk being everyones manic pixie dream girl
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lunargrapejuice · 1 month
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falling asleep on his shoulder
sephiroth (pre nibelheim) x reader with no pronouns used
fluff + mutual pinning
i love him so much y’all🫠
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“alright genesis, you’re up next.”
a yawn follows your words as the man himself stands from his chair on the other side of the room and heads for the door, saying something that doesn’t quite meet your ears. you can barely keep your eyes open and it seems your exhaustion has started to spread to your other faculties. you try to shake off the sleepiness that is practically engraved in your bones at this point and refocus on the large, too bright, screen in front of you. 
the outdoor landscape of rocky hills and tumble weeds fades back into training room one, the metal walls replacing the blue sky from the simulation as angeal puts his sword on his back and a few moments later, genesis enters the room with a cocky smile. 
you turn the page of your notebook and scribble down his name on the next sheet of paper so you can keep track of their evaluations and jot down notes, a task you’ve been given for all soldier classes and has kept you beyond busy, without much sleep or time for your normal duties. it didn’t help that you weren’t quite used to being with the second and third class soldiers either, they were a far more rowdy group than first class and well.. none of them were the soldier you wanted to be with the most.
the same soldier sitting by your side and radiating heat that was not helping your tired situation. but you didn’t move away from sephiroth either. not when you had been missing him more than you could admit outloud and certainly not after he had sat right next to you out of all the places in the observation room of his own accord. a sickly hopeful part of you wondering if perhaps he had missed you too.
at first you weren’t sure you’d be able to make it through these evaluations when sephiroth's broad frame sat by your side and captured all of your attention, your heart beating so loudly you swore it was echoing in the room and mortifyingly would not die down before the others got here. but he had always affected you in many ways and even when your heart had finally quieted, it continued to flutter and skip beats with every word he speaks, every waft of his scent through the close space between you.
you jump in surprise when his long, skilled fingers are suddenly covering up the page of your notebook, your pen stopped between the leather of sephiroths middle and index fingers, your hand aching to drop your things all together and lace your hand in his. a request you firmly and regretfully deny. 
“are you feeling alright?” he asks, his tone with a lace of worry that makes you think he had asked already and you hadn’t heard him.
“oh- yeah!” you turn to smile up at him with energy you don’t really have but it falls into something sheepish when his brows knit, mako eyes studying you and his beautiful lips turn downwards slightly in an expression you know means he doesn't believe you. letting out a tired laugh you admit defeat, “all of you soldiers are such a handful, that’s all. but maybe i should be used to it by now thanks to you three.”
he chuckles at your teasing and you can feel the heat it blooms within your chest quickly spreading to your cheeks and ears. though some part of it isn’t actually teasing, working so closely with these three you know just how much they are too but they’re a handful you don’t mind. 
tearing your gaze from his, you hope he doesn’t notice your flustered state while you shift in your seat to get ready for an impatient genesis to start, determined to remain awake and finally finish these evaluations.
“after this you should get some rest.”
“i’ll be okay,” you answer sweetly, not wanting him to worry.  “i’m really not that tired,” you don’t know who you’re trying to convince with those words, yourself or him, but it really didn’t matter how true it was, not when you had so much work to do. leaning forward you press the intercom button. “whenever you’re ready genesis.”
in the corner of your eye you watch sephiroth fold his arms and cross his legs, facing the screen now turning into another scenic desert with half destroyed buildings. you try not to let him distract you as you settle back into your seat, taking in a deep breath that has your eyes begging to close when hints of leather and geranium fill your nose and a sense of comfort washes over you.
quickly sephiroth notices your word betraying you like he knew they would. only minutes into genesis’ battling fiends and the movements of your pen grow slower, a bit messier in its strokes. he hadn’t been paying any attention to the screen, he hadn’t been even when it was angeals showing off his skills, and though it felt very obvious to him that he was staring, something he found himself doing quite often with you, you hadn’t seemed to notice.
as the minutes pass by, your pen eventually stops entirely, causing sephiroth to shake his head with a small grin, remembering your claims of not being tired that was obviously a lie. before he can make any movements or decisions on if he should wake you, he feels the weight of your head against his shoulder and for several moments he’s frozen in place, his body stiff, the air stuck in his lungs as he can only stare at you and feel thankful he had yet to adorn his armor over his long black coat.
you look so delicate and lovely in this state with your cheek squished against him, a peaceful expression on your face that he wishes he could keep on you forever. one he hoped to see on you more often, and maybe even because of him.
there’s a lump in his throat, for more reasons than he knows where to start. you’re like nothing else he’s seen in this world; warm like a ray of sunshine after a long rainy battle but as captivating and beautiful as the moon and as unattainable as the stars. deserving of more than he knows how to give and yet you look so.. content and without worry resting on him in a way that makes his chest swell.
when his body movements return to him, he swallows that lump down and takes a shallow breath, forcing himself to try to relax because despite how foreign this was to him, he didn’t want it to stop. his shoulders drop slightly and he feels you shift, freezing in his place, not even breathing when his eyes widen but never tear from you as he watches you stir, never fully waking and once again finding a comfortable spot on his shoulder.
sephiroth takes the notebook and pen from you with his opposite hand so it doesn't fall and wake you, keeping his eyes on your features both to be sure you aren’t disturbed by his movements and because he simply can’t look away. he is so enamored with you and only recently had he realized the truth of the feelings and emotions bubbling inside of him, ones he could no longer deny and feels himself crumbling to each passing day without seeing you as much as he’s used to. 
he recalls genesis saying something about distance making the heart grow fonder but it had left sephiroth aching in a way that he had never had before. it wasn’t like the slice of a blade through his flesh or a bruise that purpled against pale skin or needles poking into him but it throbbed just as consistently deep within his chest.
your presence was like a soothing balm to the uncomfortableness that had built up within him over the days without seeing you but your touch was the fuel that ignites his longing like the stars themselves are burning within his chest. he can feel their heat radiating throughout his every nerve, urging him to give in just a bit.
the clashing of genesis’ sword is nothing more than muted background noise to your steady breaths in his ears and mystic green eyes never leave your features but ever diligent in the tasks of protecting your sleeping self, he’s aware of the space around you.
like you’re something beyond precious, and to him you certainly are, his gloved fingers caress your face with all the gentleness he can muster, brushing hair from your temple to behind your ear, his thumb swiping across your cheek in a slow back and forth motion.
he equally hates and is thankful for his glove that separates your skin from his and forces himself to pull away when he feels his heart begging for more, the normally tight hold on his control slipping an inch and threatening to take a mile if it meant there would be more of you.
the comfortable pressure of you against his arm and the weight of your head on his shoulder had to be enough. at least for now. instead he focuses on the tasks of watching over you like it was one of his most important missions.
you can’t help but snuggle into the comfortable position you find yourself in, nuzzling in closer to the warmth of it but through your sleepy haze you can hear the loud clash of a sword followed by a victorious laugh that reminds you of where you are, what you’re supposed to be doing right now, who you’re beside.
with enough force that you nearly stumble from the bench all together, you sit up and your still bleary eyes are met with vibrant emerald shimmering with flecks of mako and a waterfall of silver hair. 
“s-sephiroth!” your eyes focus but it does nothing to help settle you and even though you’re absolutely mortified that you fell asleep on his shoulder, you can’t take your eyes away from the soft expression on his face.
“sleep well?” his voice matches his soft expression and it stops your heart completely.
“i- i’m so sorry,” you can barely get the words out. you honestly aren’t even sure if you’ve said them when he only chuckles quietly and stands from his place next to you, your chest tightening in protest at the distance now between you.
it’s comfortably quiet as he puts his armor on over his shoulders, the clinking of metal that usually accompanies him the only sound in the room and you watch with bated breath as his already broad frame gets larger and he towers over you, still wearing that gentle smile that awakens the butterflies in your stomach and breaks them into a wild flurry.
“ready for me?” he asks and you can’t control the way your heartbeat stutters and your hand clench into fists simultaneously, begging you for him. 
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comments & reblogs would be so greatly appreciated!<3 thank you for reading ♡
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danwhobrowses · 7 months
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One Piece Chapter 1095 - Initial Thoughts
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We are back
and the big guns have come out to play
Luffy's down, Kizaru's down, Bonney's dangling off a demon And it's been 6 weeks since we last saw Nico Robin, we just want her back safe
TCB has been slow and tumblr's already showing panels so I had to use mangaspurs today, translations are a bit more wonky on that side so sorry if a bit of context is lost.
Spoilers for the Chapter, Support the Official Release too
Another monkey thief cover page this time with Buggy's nose
Marines naturally panic, those who don't want the upper part of their face removed are heading for the hills in confusion
Those allowed to see are of course ready for action as Bonney has stabbed a Gorosei
Saturn however stops them 'If I didn't want to get stabbed I would've dodged'
Whatever Saturn is doing it seems to be sourced from his eyes, as he fires a projectile (still thinking Haki) to knock Bonney off and grab her
Sanji tries the same but he also gets headstruck
The sword wound heals as well when removed, as anticipated
The Vice Admirals circle Vegapunk and the pirates, but again Saturn wards them off, very confident about the situation
He also reprimands Kizaru for taking so long
Kizaru is conscious, but he admits that he cannot move, which Luffy all deflated and wrinkly understands, so I'd say that counts as Luffy defeating an Admiral
Saturn though quickly goes to stamp the life outta Luffy
Franky for the save with a Strong Right to get him out of trouble
Saturn exudes his confidence by reminding that even though Luffy and Bonney's appearances are unexpected, they are massively surrounded
I wouldn't challenge fate in finding a way to escape Saturn, there's a giant leaving its slumber...
He thanks Vegapunk for his contributions, but then asks him - in order of most painful - who he should kill first? As they want him to suffer for opposing the World Government
It seems like Saturn also has some kinda pressure that's keeping Sanji, Franky and Vegapunk from approaching him
Bonney however stares daggers at Saturn claiming he killed her father
Not only was Kuma a slave before, he was also apparently from a tribe that 'committed a great crime', the Buccaneer people
I'm guessing it's Buccaneer because they translate it like 3 different ways in this chapter
That knowledge has surprised Vegapunk, either he was sure they didn't know or he didn't know
Surrounded by Marines and held up by Saturn as he orders them to shoot her head, Bonney remembers the words of her father, words about his young desires to bring freedom, and be like the Sun God Nika
Sanji and Vegapunk protest her execution, but they're still held down
Bonney asking Kuma if Nika will set her free is telling too, was Bonney also once a slave?
Kuma Flashback Time, right into his birth in the Sorbet Kingdom 47 years ago
Nani? Gentle, caring parents who unconditionally love their child? I can hear the death bells already
It seems the father was known as Klap, Bartholomew Klap, and he had the Buccaneer blood passed down to Kuma
The WG seemed intent about erasing it since they had spies in the hospital when Kuma was born, who leaked the information
Naturally the dragons took Klap back as a slave, along with Kuma and his mother despite Klap's protests
Kuma was strong as a kid, but abused
While in slavery the mother did die, Klap had to tell Kuma so I'd guess the Dragons killed her
Klap also tells Kuma about Nika, the same way Kuma would tell Bonney
But that would be his last tale to tell, as the Dragons shoot him in front of Kuma for being 'too noisy'
38 years ago in the West Blue we skip ahead
The Celestial Dragons are literally culling people in a non-WG country, and they do it every 3 years!?
This time it's God Valley!
God Valley wasn't even a Celestial Dragon place, they just wanted its resources and are killing the natives...how colonial
The King of God Valley doth protest, and protest until his swift death
Young Figarland Garling is the culprit, he's popular with the ladies and seemed unfazed by getting deducted 10,000 points for killing someone before the start
This time they're also sending out problematic slaves into the cull
And Saturn was there, completely unchanged in age
This is the field we saw in Kuma's memory bubble with Bonney, he was trying to escape God Valley and was being dragged back
Someone from the top notices that Kuma has Buccaneer blood
Buccaneers apparently have giant's blood too, maybe furthering the whole theory of Joy Boy being a giant before
There's only one person in the world with a laugh like that though
Young Ivankov was a slave too, and had a sister, Jinny, who looks like she'd be Bonney's mother given her looks and the fact that she's already eating meat
And now a break? Oda c'mon man, that means it'll be at least 8 weeks since we last saw Nico Robin
Well it looks like we will be delving into that Kuma flashback after all.
Not much else to tell I don't think, good to verify that Kizaru is defeated, and that Saturn is more than just talk I mean he did floor Sanji with a glare.
Given the build up I feel like Luffy is gonna - pun intended - bounce back to save Bonney, since he is Nika, but then the Sleeping Giant may assist with the rest. I am still hoping that Franky can get some shine in this arc but not as hopeful. We didn't get any of Zoro vs Lucci either so unclear how that's going, it should've been over before this anyway.
The Kuma flashback is already hitting us with surprises though; God Valley didn't belong to the Celestial Dragons, but then what does that make of the incident? Ivankov and Kuma were there so will we see it? Roger and Garp had to defend the Celestial Dragons, but were they more defending the slaves the Dragons had already planned to slaughter? We also have to wonder how baby Shanks ended up in a treasure chest. The introduction of Jinny being potentially Bonney's mother adds more implications, since that'd mean that Bonney is also Ivankov's niece, unless the clone theory on Bonney is that Bonney is in fact a clone of Jinny raised as Kuma's daughter. There's also the matter of Buccaneer races, if Bonney is biologically Kuma's daughter shouldn't she have those genes too that the WG would wanna erase? A new chapter of questions has opened and unravelled.
But seriously where is Nico Robin???
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gffa · 9 months
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Star Wars: 14, 16, 17,v23
Skipping the ones I've answered previously, if you're interested in scrolling back for them! 14. that one thing you see in fics all the time So much Mando'a for the clones. 😭 And I don't object to it inherently, it's more that I want to glance askance at people and go, "We know this is totally made up by the fans, right? That the clones never have anything to do with Mandalore in TCW, right?" before people being perfectly right to keep doing what they find interesting and fun! 17. there should be more of this type of fic/art Soooooo many things, as always, there should be more That's Him That Motherfucker What A Tool!Obi-Wan content who is the knife cat meme personification. There should be more Obitine fic that explores that they're both all right with the choices they've made, that they loved each other, but they would also both choose their respective duties over their relationship, and they want those duties. There should be more fic of the "merry band of brats" (YADDLE LITERALLY CALLED THEM THIS) of Obi-Wan, Siri, Bolla, and Prie as chaos goblin younglings! I would also accept the trio of Obi-Wan & Quinlan & Luminara as late teenagers being trouble magnets together, the kind where it's always those three when something explodes in the distance. I will also die on the hill of Plo & Shaak & Kit being a chaos gremlin trio when they were Padawans as well. Christ alive what I wouldn't do for more Mace fic that focuses on either his time as Yoda's Padawan or his time with Depa or, in a No Jedi Genocide AU, as a benevolent awful "you reap what you sow" Master as Depa takes on Caleb. 23. ship you’ve unwillingly come around to You know, I thought I would hate it, but I've read a couple of really solidly fun Kylo/Rose fics and they just fully dragged me kicking and screaming into that I kind of genuinely ship it now. I feel like both sides of fandom are going to tar and feather me for it. orz
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gatheringfiki · 4 months
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The following ficlet was written by @miaulady​​ based on this photoset.
Fili/Kili, Rating TBC
You might also be able to read this story on AO3.
If you’ve enjoyed this story, please leave a comment either in replies or on AO3. :)
Your Name Carries Magic Like a Prayer
Fili kicked a stone and watched it fly over the next snow hill.
“OW!”
Ah, he had hit someone.
He skipped ahead to spot who it was and was very satisfied to see that it was the damned priest. Good. That guy deserved to have a bump on his head, pretentious as he was.
The priest coughed awkwardly and went on with his boring speech.
“As I was saying, the time the Trial has to be fulfilled by our village has come again.”
Fili rolled his eyes and dropped into the snow, trying to spot his favourite. He didn’t care much why they had a meeting. It didn’t matter what they did. Unless it had to do with him, which was unlikely.
Where was Kili?
Kili was fun, always had been, always would be. A shame he was a human.
“And this means that a young man of ours has to be go. An honour for any family, I assure you.”
Fili got irritated at this point. Normally he would have already spotted Kili and gotten his attention in some way. Today he still hadn’t found the dark head.
“Do we have a volunteer?”
Fili saw how people tried not to look at the priest or like they might be willing to whatever it was the priest was asking them to do.
“Now, come, any mother would be proud of such a son.”
There! There was Kili. A deep frown on his face, instead of the smile promising mischief or a good joke. Well, that wouldn’t do.
“Alright then,” the priest huffed. “The pulling of Names it is then. Again.”
Pulling of Names? Fili switched his attention to the priest. Names were powerful. What business were they of a mortal priest with clinking belt and nasally voice? Names were Fae business, his business.
He watched as every male that didn’t have white streaks in their hair, placed something in the bag. And then the bag was shaked. Fili was fascinated. What was this? Did humans switch names? That would be catastrophic!
The priest stuck his hand in and rummaged, not looking what his hand was doing. When he pulled it out he was holding a leather band.
“Ah, we have our champion. Congratulations, Son of Dis!“
Fili watched fascinated as Kili rose from his place to walk to the priest. His face pale and his body stiff.
Maybe he should have payed more attention to what this meeting was about after all.
The woman, who Kili had set next to, started to cry into her scarf. He remembered her calling for Kili to return home or to her side when he was younger. So someone close to him.
“May you be victorious in the Trial of Ice.”
Trial of Ice?! Fili jumped up. He knew of the trial of Ice. He had passed it years ago together with three others, and proved to be strong and clever enough to walk in the human world and interact with them. Why did humans need that? Of course humans interacted with humans, they lived their whole lifes surrounded by each other.
Kili nodded sharply and took his leather band from the priest. The bag was emptied and the items returned to the other men. Then they left, leaving Kili alone with the priest.
Fili had to get some information and that quick. Only one other Fae could tell him why the humans also had the Trial of Ice.
———
Kili packed his bag, knowing that no matter what he brought along it wouldn’t change the outcome. He was doomed to fail the trial and die.
May he be victorious indeed. He snorted. No one had ever returned from the Trial alive. Each time the corpse would be found. Always in different states but definitely dead and frozen, even in high summer. It just was something that they couldn’t explain.
He wouldn’t take any of his personal belongings either. His mother would keep them in his memory, he was sure.
That was the worst part. He would leave his mother alone. No one else to look after her with him gone. Sure, the village would care for her in the first year. As a repayment for him being gone. And when his corpse would be found, they would pay for his funeral. But after that, she would be on her own.
Why did it have to be him of all the ones that could have been pulled?
He slung the bag over his shoulder and made his way down the stairs, gave his mother one last hug and left.
Speaking was forbidden from the point his name was pulled until he reached the altar in the woods. He didn’t know what would happen to him if he did speak but he hoped his mother knew that he loved her, even though he could not tell her one last time.
He made his way through the snow, noticing that the closer he got to the altar the more he felt watched.
Eyes peering onto him.
On any other day he wouldn’t mind it, thinking it to be just Fee, who would jump him soon after. But not today. It felt different. Like there were more than one and there was no fun in them watching. He was being observed intensly.
He finally reached the clearing where the altar stood. Decorated with pine branches and red ribbons. Red like blood, his mind supplied.
He placed his bag down on his feet and looked around.
Nothing else was there. And no one else was there. He still felt like he was being watched intently.
But that made sense if he thought of it.
The Trial of Ice was a ritual to appease the Winter God, so the winter wouldn’t be too harsh on them all. Of course he would be watched to see how far he would get and if he obeyed the rules. So he rolled his shoulders, to feel better in his own body again and spoke the words he was told to speak first before doing anything else.
“I am here to take the Trial of Ice.”
An unholy screech went through the clearing, followed by a thump and yelling.
———
Fili was shaking Ori in outrage.
“What the ever green trees?!”
Ori garbled something and gribbed his arms.
“Why did he say that?!”
“aarggg,” Ori was hitting his arms.
“He is human! How could he take the Trial?? Why would he take the Trial??”“uuuuurggggh”
“Answer me!”
“Air,” Ori barely got that out.“Oh, sorry,” Fili let his friend go and waited for him to regain something of his composer before he started again to lay into him, this time without strangling him. “Explain!”“Well,” Ori coughed hard and glared at Fili. “I am surprised as you are. And isn’t this your human anyway?”
“But you are the human expert in general,” Fili crossed his arms. “I am just the expert for this specific individual.”
“You still didn’t get his true name, did you?”
“Shut up.”
“Uuuuh,” Kili was looking at them in surprise. “What is going on?”
“Shush,” Fili told him. “He is going to explain this,” he gestured from Ori to Kili in the clearing that was the entry point to the trial. “Thisness. Right?”“I have nothing to say,” Ori sniffed. “This is news to me that human participate in the Trials. It doesn’t make sense.”
“I said that,” Fili nodded. “So why is he here? Saying that?”
“I don’t know,” Ori snapped. “Without magic he is as good as dead.”“I said that too.”
“I know!” Ori hissed. “And I said already, that I don’t know why in the high seasons he is here.”
“But-”“Ah!” Ori lifted his finger cutting Fili of. “I don’t want to hear. This is a disgrace. If my brother finds out a human has come here he will have fit. And because I love to see him lose his mind over such a simple thing, I will go and tell him.”
“What about him?” Fili pointed at Kili.
“What about him?” Ori shrugged. “He entered the Trial. You know the rules.”
“But he is human!” How did Ori not get that? Humans were so fragile. One wrong blow of cold air and three weeks later they were dead because of it.
“Yes. And what of it? He is just a human after all. What does it matter?” and with that Ori took of into the trees, skipping from branch to branch, shaking the snow off.
Fili was staring after him.
God, but it was infuriating how little others cared about his human. He huffed and slid through the snow to Kili, glaring at him.
“What?” Kili asked.
“What,” Fili poked him. “Are. You. Doing. Here?” Undermined each time with a poke.
“Taking the Trial of Ice?”
“Why?!” Fili yelled almost close to ripping his hairs out.“Because it is the only way to appease the winter god,” Kili shrugged.
“Who?”
“The Winter God? God of Winter, Snow and Ice? Skathi? This altar is dedicated to him,” Kili pointed at the stone thing that the humans decorated each year.
“Never heard of him,” Fili shrugged. “Can’t be that big of a deal then.”
Kili spluttered, “Are you crazy?”
“I am a Fae,” Fili answered as if it answered everything. Which it kind of did.
“Right.”
Silence stretched out between them and Kili looked around again.
“So,” Fili started. “Let me summarise. You are taking this trial because of some God-”
“Skathi,” Kili interjected.“Yeah, that one. So he will do what? Kill you?”
“No, it is more so he will take pity on us and make the winter not so harsh. You could call my death just a sideffect of that.”
“Well, you definitely will get pity, that is for sure,” grumbled Fili. “A human taking the Trial of Ice is a cruel joke.”
“Agreed,” Kili nodded. “But it is tradition.”
“Tradition?” Fili frowned. Kili had talked about traditions before. Such as the summer dances and how certain feast were a yearly thing that got repeated over and over again, each year similar to the ones before. “I thought that was the good food and games at the, what did you call them, Feast Days?”
“And then there are traditions like this.”
“So,” Fili felt like there was iron around and his sense of gravity totally lost. “Other humans have done this?” he gestured at Kili.
Kili nodded again, clearly just as confused as Fili at this point.
“Since when has this been going on?”
“I don’t know,” he shrugged. “Forever?”
Oh. That was just- Great. Fili huffed and looked around to kick something. Maybe he could hit the priest again with a stone.
“Fee?”
“What?”
“Why are you so upset?”
“Do you know what the Trial of Ice is? Really, what it is about and why it exist?”“Priest Alfred says it is a way of Skathi to test us and our faith.”
Fili gaped at the world and the audacity.
“He said what?” he snapped. A big stone, yes, very big. Maybe the stupid thing the humans had decorated.
“That-” Kili started to repeat patiently.“Yes, yes,” Fili waved him off. “That is not true. The Trial of Ice is a Trial of four. For each season and element oe, got it? Trial of Earth in the Spring time. Trial of Fire in summer. Trial of Air in autumn. And last the Trial of Ice in winter.”
Kili nodded, “Never heard of the others, but makes sense.”
“Well. These four trials are designed to be test the ability of a Fae,” Fili gestured at himself. “Their magic, their skill and their mind. Each one gets harder and more demanding. If you pass all four you are allowed to interact with humans. If not, you do something else,” he shrugged it off. It wasn’t like that was important for Kili.
“Point is,” he continued. “Trial of Ice is the worst and many don’t even try to take it at all if they are not confident that they will pass.”
“Why?”“Because death can be an optional end.”
“I thought Fae’s don’t die?”“Not naturally,” Fili didn’t look at Kili directly. That was a huge problem, telling a human that his kind could be killled, revealing that they had a weakness. Another weakness than iron, that is.
“Oh,” Kili mumbled. “I always thought- Nevermind.”
“But you,” Fili glared at Kili. “You entered it, just like that. As a human! Totally bonkers.”“I had no choice!”
“All you had to do was not say that sentence, Kili!” Fili stamped his foot down in the snow. “All you had to do was say nothing or something different. By saying that you will take the trial, you entered a binding magical contract that you will take it. That includes the magic tests. And you have not one spark of magic in you!” How infuriating. Fili was burning with outrage.
“You said my name is magic.”
“Every name has magic,” Fili rolled his eyes. “It is the nature of names. But that doesn’t mean you,” he poked Kili again. “Have one drop of it in your blood.”
“So, I am dead then.”
“Don’t say that,” Fili flinched. He never had liked the idea of Kili dying one day. It would mean returning to the boredom he had before.
“But that is what will happen. You said so yourself.”
“Yes,” hissed Fili. “No need to point that out.”
“So,” Kili shrugged. “What now? It isn’t like I can take it back. Not that I would want to. Who knows what the consequences would be for the village if I did.”
Fili groaned. Humans and their gods. He never had fully gotten behind that. Seasons were Seasons, not People. And magic was a tricky thing. But humans plucked at each thing and didn’t care what it would do to the world at large. Unless it was a made up rule from their god.
“You take the Trial,” Fili said. “There is no way out of that. There should be a scroll around here with the first task. That is how it normally goes.”
“Right,” Kili moved and Fili grabbed his arm, stopping him.
“Not so fast. I have an idea how to get you through it.” It was a stupid idea. Totally insane. He would never offer it to anyone else. But Kili- Kili, was his human.
“What is it?” Hope shined in his eyes.
“You won’t like it.”
“Tell me and we will see.”“I will give you my name-”
Kili recoiled, “Absolutely not!”
“If you have my name, I can connect to you, send my magic through you and that way you can pass the trial. It shouldn’t be considered as cheating, because you have no magic yourself. So the contract of the trial might not-”
“Might not?”“Might not recognice you as not the original holder of the magic.”
“My mother always told me to never say my true name outside our house,”
“Wise woman,” and an absolute nuisance.
“You told me names have magic. So powerful magic that nothing else compares to it.” This time Fili was the one being poked. “And now you want to give me your name? Just like that?!”
“Well,” Fili considered it. Kili was right, Fae never gave anything for free. Everything had to have counter, especiall when magic and contracts were involved. “You offer to give me something in return then?”
“Like my own name?” Kili asked.
“No!” Fili slammed his hand over Kili’s mouth.
A muffled reply came through but Fili did not understand it.
Then something wet and slimy slid over his finger and he pulled his hands away with a disgusted noise.
“Did you just lick me?!”
Kili wiped his mouth on his jaket, “I just asked why.”
“I don’t want to get it like that,” Fili looked disgusted at his fingers. Ew, ew, ew. Spit. He looked around and settled on following Kili’s example, wiping it on his jacket as well. It was taken with a grunt.
“Dangling your life over your head to get your name is cheap. I intent to get your name fair and square.”
“But I will have your name. Won’t that affect that?”Fili shrugged, “As if you know how to properly misuse the power of a name.” He glanced at Kili and then smiled. “I also don’t believe you have the heart for it.”
“So, what do you want in exchange?”
Well, that was a good question.
It had to be huge and big. Something he couldn’t ask of Kili under any other circumstances.
But what would that be?
Eating Fae food was out of the question for the same reason his true name was off the table. That was a cheap shot.
But he could ask for something he knew humans were very careful with, for good reason.
“I want entry to your house.”
He saw the realisation sink in.
If Kili agreed, there would be no place for him to avoid Kili anymore. Even if he changed in what house he lived in, Fili would have access to it.He could see Kili thinking, turning it over in his head over and over. That was what Fili liked about him so much, Kili was a challenge and actually pushed back and thought about it.
“No,” he replied and crushed Fili’s heart in the process “Not the house. My mother lives there and she isn’t part of this.”
Fili shrugged, trying to look like he didn’t care and was probably failing at it miserably. It wasn’t like he was interested in the mother. But Kili was a different thing. And that idea had been his only solution to get Kili through the trial alive.
“But,” Kili went on and Fili turned his whole attention him, making Kili chuckle. “But I can offer you entry to my room.”“Your room?” Fili asked. “Explain that.”
“It is the room I sleep in and keep my things in.”
Fili pondered over that for a while. A room in the house that was Kili’s.
“Like, your house inside the house?”
“I guess that is one way to see it.”
“Kili,” Fili crossed his arms. “How am I to enter that if I can’t enter the house?”
“I have a window. You could come through that. I will remove the iron if there is any, in case it will make a problem.”
Iron. Humans put it in so many things. Nails, handles, horse shoes - Those damned horse shoes. Fili, like every Fae, hated Iron. It messed with their senses, their focus, their mind and their magic. It hurt and it disoriented you in every way you could think off and more.
That offer was probably the best thing Fili could get from Kili.
“Alright. I get entry to your,” he hesitated, unsure if ‘Your Room’ could bring problems later on and Kili was tricking him here. But just like Kili had to trust him that he wasn’t tricking him somehow with the Trial, Fili had to trust him on that. “Room.” He offered his hand.
Kili took it and said, “And I get your name.”
Fili could see the magic rise around their hands, binding them to the agreement. If either of them broke it, it would get very uncomfortable for them.
Kili’s mouth dropped open in wonder.
“That is your name?”
“Yes, now don’t go running around and use it willy nilly.”
“I won’t,” Kili nodded. “I promise.”
A promise. To Fae. Oh, how he loved Kili.
He blinked. Where had that thought come from? Oh no. If he knew that, just figured out what his focus on Killi actually meant… Then- He looked at Kili, who was staring wide at him.
“You love me?!”
Fili sighed in desperation. That was why you didn’t give out your name. It revealed you, thoughts, being, feelings and all, to the other person.
“Let’s just get through the trial. Where is that scroll with your first task?”
Why was lying something the Fae couldn’t do? It would be such a wonderful way out of this. But only humans lied. That was how the world worked and always did.
Magic or Lying. You couldn’t have both.
Unless, Fili laughed in his head, you were so lucky to find a stupid Fae that gave you their name. What had he done to himself…
———-
Kili was amazed.
He knew Fee’s name. Fili. His name was Fili. And Kili knew so much about him now. So much more than before.
He knew that Fili had been the one who had kicked the stone this morning at Priest Alfred, a happy accident.
He knew that Fili hated apples, a theory Kili had before but now knew to be truth.
He knew that Fili liked to lay around on branches, catching the sun light and letting squirrels run over him.
He knew that Fili found humans either so confusing it broder to fury or so boring he even forgot they existed on occasion.
And then he knew that Fili loved him.
Him, a human. A Fae was in love with him and not willing to talk about it with him. Rather frustrating. Because he had questions and only Fili could answer them.
“Ah, here we have the next task,” Fili pulled stone up as if it weighed nothing.
The stone looked like all the others around to Kili. But Fili knew, because he felt it.
They had already done three tasks and none had been of a magical nature yet. Fili had said it was unusual but not unheard of.
Maybe Kili could go through the trial and never use Fili’s name for magic. But Gods it was tempting, only to see what would happen. It was like a big sign on a door telling you not to  open it. All you wanted was to open it and see why.
“Kili,” he was called back to attention by Fili, who nodded at the ground. “The task.”
“Right,” he mumbled and pulled out what was to be his hint for the next task.
The first one had been a poem. The second a picture only someone with magic could see, so Fili had described it to him. The third one had been a simple arrow in this direction. And now, he looked at the twig in his hand.
“A Dowsing Rod?” he asked.
Fili dropped the stone back and shrugged, “I told you, I can’t solve the hints. That would be-”“Cheating,” Kili nodded along.
He looked at the dowsing rod, turned it that way and then the other. Thinking what it could mean.
Dowsing rods, they led you to water. There was also the belief they granted wishes. Thanks to Fili, he already knew that that wasn’t true, unless the twig was blessed or cursed. And any thing could be blessed or cursed, it wasn’t kept to dowsing rods specifically.
“There is a lake close by,” Kili said. “My guess is that the next part will be there.”
He didn’t even look at Fili to know he would get neither a confirmation or denial of this. It was odd how certain knowledge was kept from him, even with knowing Fili’s name. If he wanted, he could pull up what Fili did last Friday (annoying his Fae friend), but not what he thought of the Trial or knew of it.
Maybe it was the magic binding him to fulfill the Trial or die trying.
——–
Fili watched as Kili stared at the frozen lake. And he was itching to tell Kili’s his suspicion. But he couldn’t, that would be considered cheating.
“It is inside the water, isn’t it?”
Fili didn’t answer, not wanting to risk anything. He had been more careful than he would be with anyone else and so his companionship with Kili through this had been rather silent.
Kili carefully stepped onto the ice, layed then on his stomach and pulled himself along it, staring down at the ice.
Fili hovered over him, physically and mentally.
If Kili broke through the ice he wouldn’t be able to get Fili’s name out quick enough to allow him to cast the necessary spell to pull him out again. And he knew that humans could die in water and freeze to death. Ori had told him about that years ago that it was the reason why their body seemed to double the size in winter, they layered fabrics to stay warm.
“Here,” Kili stopped and frowned. “I can see something glinting down there.”
Fili sank down on the ice and spotted what Kili meant. There was a glint deep in the dark water. He could easily get it out with some spells but Kili would have to cut the ice and even then it was too deep down that he could reach it.Trial of Ice, Fili thought. You always reached this point, where you had to do something with Ice that was tricky and dangerous. Even Fae could fall into the water and sink down under the ice, never to resurface again. He shivered and hugged himself.
“I got an idea,” Kili mumbled. “Can I use your help here?”
“Sure,” he did not add that Kili could use his name at any given moment without any breach of contract. He had never classified that Kili could only use it during the Trial. He really was in deep.
“Fili,” whispered Kili at the ice and Fili felt his whole skin tingle, his magic responding, rising to being called. He had no idea of what Kili had thought of when he spoke his name, but his magic followed tame along. The glint became bigger under the ice. He had used the magic to pull the item closer, clever of him.
Kili scooted back at the ice, so that his hand was hovering over the glitter and said again, “Fili.”
This time Fili felt warmth spread out of him and into the ice, melting it and forming a puddle.
Kili’s hand went into the opening, splashing droplets and grabbed the item that was already sinking again. He pulled it out and started to scoot back on the ice without looking at what he had pulled out.
Only when he had reached the shore again, where three snow covered trees stood looking like filigrance ice sculptures, Kili opened his hand to reveal the next hint.
It was an Ice sculpture, clearly formed with magic but not enforced to stand against heat, already melting in Kilis’s hand.
“Reindeer,” he said and the last bit of the sculpture trickled away. “Finding a reindeer seems to be next.”
Fili was still trying to comprehend how it had felt for Kili to use his magic. He hadn’t even need Fili to direct it at all or cast it. He had reacted to Kili’s will, not caring what it was or trying to control his magic himself. He loved Kili so much, he would let him consume him whole, give up his whole self if that was what Kili wished for.
A dark thought for Fae, for any being.
Fili sighed and rubbed his arms.“Are you cold?” Kili asked, somehow keenly aware of Fili.
“No.”
“Tired? Was that too much?”
“I did more Magic in an hour before and was fine, stop worrying.”
“Right. I just- That was amazing,” Kili looked at his wet hand. “Is that what it feels like all the time for you when you use magic?”
“No,” Fili admitted.
“Oh, was it worse?”
“No.”
“Better?” Kili grinned at him and Fili could warmth spread through him again, this time not because of magic.
“Let’s find that reindeer,” he changed the topic.
“No answer is also an answer,” he heard Kili mumble behind him.
——-
The Reindeer had been a stupid hint.
Kili had watched it for … god, time was hard. Fili had explained it to him that time was different during the Trials. Even he didn’t know how much had passed. It may be already summer for all they knew. When Kili had pointed at the snow and ice, Fili had shrugged and reminded him that he was in the Trial of Ice, not Trial of changing Seasons.
He had watched the Reindeer for a long time. There.
And now he was holding ice blue berries in his hands. Because that had been then thing the Reindeer was eating that seemed odd to Kili. Odd things were what brought you forward in the trial, that much he understood.
“Please tell me the next hint, isn’t that I have to eat those.”“Oh no,” Fili laughed. “No eating of those for us. They are not meant to be consumed like this and definitely not here.” A blush had formed on the Fae’s cheeks again and Kili wondered why.
“What are they?”
“Berries with … uh, certain magical attributes,” Fili coughed into his hand and then smiled innocently at him. No matter how innocent Fili did smile, it never really came across as really innocent. His Fae nature just shining through to much. He was hiding something.
Kili looked at the berries and started to think again.
Something else the Reindeer had done with the berries? Not that he could remember. So it wasn’t the Reindeer that was the hint to complete this.
He sighed and sat down on a fallen tree, Fili sinking down next to him, leaning close and chuckling like this was the best joke of the century and Kili just hadn’t catched up yet to the punchline.
Something Fili would fine funny. Something that he should know, something obvious.
“Berries,” Kili said. “The Reindeer was eating them. But you said they aren’t meant to be eaten by us and not here,” he stopped and looked at the grinning Fili. “Not here,” he repeated. “Somewhere else. I have to transport them somewhere.” Fili was swinging his feet and looked pointedly at them. “But where? Somewhere with other food? A kitchen? But there is no kitchen around here. Don’t tell me,” he drifted off. “Back to the start? The altar could count as a table.”
Fili looked at the sky, biting his cheek. Kili smiled and kissed his cheek. He had become braver over the trial with teasing Fili and finding out how far he could go with him. The amazed face he got as a reply was definitely worth it. He still didn’t know how Fili looked like when he used his name and he really wanted to. It was something to try out when the trial was over.
“Let’s head back then.”
———
They had reached the clearing again and Fili felt giddy.
Kili had passed the Trial and only had to use Fili’s magic twice and for one task. A rather easy Trial considering that for his Trial Fili had to almost deplete all of his magic. On the other hand, Fili hadn’t thought of solving the tasks without magic either. Because what was the point of that?
Kili was staring at the altar.
“Definitely here,” he nodded and carefully dropped the blue berries on the plate that hadn’t been there before.
Fili could feel the Pop, the release of the contract that had bound Kili to this place and in relation him.
The clearing changed immediately. From winter to Summer.
Fili groaned and sank down into the green grass.
“Summer,” Kili said. “It is summer!”
“I told you time is difficult when magic is involved.”
“But- Summer?! I missed a whole season, Fili.”
A shudder run through his boddy, “Be careful with that.”
“Sorry,” Kili said. “I just- A whole season. That is insane.”
Fili didn’t dare to tell Kili that maybe it had been longer. Years were a possibility. As were decades.
“I have to go home, to my mother,” Kili grabbed his bag that had remained on the ground all this time since he had put it there on the start of the Trial.
“Until later,” Fili grinned up at him. “Remember, I have entry to your room.”
“Right,” Kili smiled down at him. “Will you tell me then what those blue berries do?”
Fili looked at the said berries with a smile. “We will see.”
“See you later!” Kili kissed his forehead and walked back through the trees to his village, pulling of his thick cloak and scarf and all those other fabrics that had protected him agains the harsh cold.
Fili watched him leave, enjoying the sight of those strong shoulders. What would Kili say if he told him that the berries were a strong aphrodisiac that was rather popular around Fae? And then he wondered if humans would be affected by it or not, like the Reindeer.
He picked two berries of the plate and smiled. Surely, Kili had nothing against an experiment, did he? After all, he did not have to fear Fili. Not when he spoke his name like a prayer.
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kanadabiscuits · 7 months
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What’s a dumb hill that you’ll die on? A ridiculous hill you have a VERY BIG OPINION on?
The one thing that gets me gnashing my teeth EVERY SINGLE TIME, is when two or more people are walking towards someone (ME, a person who cannot take up less space other than simply keeping to my side) on the sidewalk, and do not make accommodation. Common courtesy would have one or several of the group dropping back or skipping ahead so that we can pass one another (with a smile, a wave... I mean, a girl can dream of such pleasantries, right?) without me getting shouldered off onto the grass by a resolute chattering mob or having to square my shoulders and basically stare them down until one of us gives in a game of pedestrian chicken.
The many should make room for the one in Sam's Rules of Sidewalk Courtesy. I always do when I am many, I just want the same when I am just me.
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petrichor-idyllic · 11 months
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Listen, I know that y'all are here for my TMR content, but at least one of you has asked me for an OBX piece and I'm going through a phase, so I thought I'd say my piece on this.
A think a main point of tension in the fan base atm the moment is Jiara (Kiara x JJ).
Now- I would like to clarify that I love the show, and I really like Kie as a character, and even though JJ is my favourite character, I'm not a delusional fangirl who dislikes their relationship because of that.
I, at the end of season 2, actually really liked them and thought they would make a cute couple.
But, as of season 3, I do not like them together.
Hear me out.
I, personally (as in this is my opinion pls dont shout at me), do not like them in season 3.
My main problem with the show and the relationships in the group is that it is incredibly heteronormative - which also increased with Cleo joining the group (I absolutely love Cleo she is an icon I have no problems with her). But like, a friend group with the same amount of boys and girls does not mean that everyone has to pair up. People can just be mates. And while the cast is obviously very diverse, which is brilliant we love to see it, there is not one slightly queer character in the show.
And, Madison Bailey, who plays Kiara, literally has a girlfriend in real life. Idk maybe I will just die on the headcanon hill that Kie is a lesbian because she is an interesting character and I do not care about the whole relationship drama between her and the boys.
Another point people keep arguing over is that Kie and JJ was forced.
And like, no, it wasn't- we've been seeing them subtly flirt for 2 seasons. It's been made obvious that JJ obviously has feelings for Kie; literally in the first episode. And, after season 2, it's clear Kie likes him too.
But, it does feel forced.
Like, it's established they like each other, but they've always liked each other and have gotten into the most horrendous situations without saying anything. So why now?
JJ feels normal - but Kie feels kinda out of character. Like, maybe she just had enough and couldn't hold back anymore, like, girl, I get you. But they used to have good, flirty but friendly energy, and it feels like the writers were forcing tension between them. Which is extra annoying cause it's at the expense of my boy Pope.
Also, just throwing it out there, the whole "I love you, dude" scene didn't even process as a love confession to me - it was only JJ's reaction that made me realise. I think it's because me and my mates say we love each other all the time and the "dude" made it feel like her just trying to convince him she cares over having genuinely strong feelings for him.
Though the Kitty Hawk rescue was peak from JJ and absolutely that I expected their romantic relationship to be- it's just everything before that.
And don't get me started on the time skip.
It's some really bizarre writing. Like, they make sense, but the way it all went down just doesn't make sense to me for some strange reason.
Idk how to explain it. It feels rushed, like whilst they've been friends for years, we didn't really see any progress or realisation from Kiara's side. Like, maybe a scene where she talks to Sarah about it and says she doesn't know what to do and she thinks she's starting to fall for JJ could've made it feel less... off. Something as simple of that could've really added to it in my opinion. Like, we didn't see Kie's feelings for JJ outside of their interactions with each other.
If that makes sense, I'm struggling to explain here.
I hope yall get me here lmao.
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xerith-42 · 4 months
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Aphverse Ask!
Taken from @mye-chi I had a ton of fun with this!!
01. how were you first introduced to aphmau?
My first introduction to Aphmau was (unfortunately), from her appearing in someone else's video, probably a Do Not Laugh.
02. favorite main character, side-character, ship, and villain?
I'm going to go with Minecraft Diaries for most of my answers bc that's the series I'm really fixated on. Favorite MC is Laurance, favorite side character is Castor, favorite ship is Laurance X Table, and my favorite villain is Zane (there's literally no competition he's better than everyone else)
03. which characters do you think deserve better? which characters do you think deserve less?
Laurance deserves SO MUCH BETTER! Also My Street Blaze deserves better, both of my boys were done absolutely dirty. I know this is popular opinion, but Aaron deserves less. He frequently got in the way of other characters arcs because he got so much focus in both series.
04. what are your favorite episodes/scenes?
I don't remember episodes very well, but the scene of Laurance confessing after he gets out of the Nether is permanently burned into my memory. Shortly followed by the entire scene at the end of Season 1 in the Irene Dimension, that whole sequence was just *chefs kiss*
05. favorite minor character? like barely a fraction of the fandom acknowledges them but you adore them?
I will forever die on the hill of Katelyn's brother Kasey being an absolute sweetheart who deserves the entire world. He has maybe 20 minutes of screen time in total and I would end reality for him.
06. what are your favorite and least favorite skins?
Ooh, I'm a really big fan of Nicole's skin, especially after the time skip in season 2. I think my least favorite is probably most of Aphmau's skins where she isn't wearing a dress. Her outfits just are not it.
07. best dynamic in the series? like, whenever these characters are onscreen your brain just explodes?
Me literally anytime Vincent and Laurance are on screen together. I seriously would watch an entire series of Vincent and Laurance talking about Shadow Knight stuff, love, Cadenza, Meteli, whatever they want to talk about, I want to hear it.
08. alternatively, what's a dynamic you really want to see in canon?
I'm kind of upset by the lack of friendly rivalries in the series. There was some of it in Phoenix Drop High, but I feel like most rivals in the series take themselves too seriously. I just want Blaze and Aaron to have a very goofy friendly rivalry where Blaze keeps trying to "overthrow him" and they just get into wrestling matches together.
09. personal bias aside, who do you think is the best written character and why? 
This is a hard question to answer because they're all written badly at some point or another, but I think Dante is the most consistent. Like I can't think of a scene where Dante does something and I went "Dante would never do that", which I can't say for most characters.
10. what is your ideal ending for the series?
For Minecraft Diaries, it's either the tragedy ending where Shad wins and takes over the entire overworld and everyone gets turned into shadow knights, or Laurance's rebellion actually works and he's able to successfully quell the calling and go back to the life he deserves to have with Garroth. For My Street it's ending with Season 2 because My Street peaked at Season 2, I don't know why they bothered to make more of it. (Season 3 is fine I just really like Season 2 agsgfhfh)
11. do you have a rewrite, character reinterpretations/redesigns, or any aus? if so, is there anything you'd like to talk about or snippets you want to share? 
Hooo boy do I! It's not that big of a deal, it's only OVER 300k WORDS (which is double the length of the fucking Iliad). The main idea is essentially me writing Minecraft Diaries but I inserted a single OC just to see how much she would shake up the series and oh my Irene does she shake up the series. My favorite thing she does is that she's a catfolk that's from Tu'la, so Tu'la, Mephina, and the lore around those subjects gets focus from early on in the story instead of showing up out of nowhere in Season 2 with little consequence.
I keep wanting to share this story but I'm still very bad and awkward about sharing OC stuff so like... I don't. (Please tell me if you would be into reading bits of it I need validation)
12. which roleplay, excluding minecraft diaries and mystreet, is your favorite? (my inner demons, mod mod world, meteora valley, etc.)
Definitely My Inner Demons. It's a bunch of silly self-indulgent nonsense that's incredibly padded and infuriates me sometimes, but Leif is one of the best characters to ever exist and MID is better than almost everything Aphmau has written for that reason alone.
13. have your sentiments towards any characters/ships changed over time? (for instance, you didn't care for them at all but now you're obsessed with them, or you used to love them but it's faded over time.)
I remember really liking Aarmau as a kid, but my mood on that ship has definitely soured over time. However, my love for Garrance and literally any other gay ship in this series has only grown. Shout out to the ship of Nana and Katelyn, I literally adore it so much.
14. if you could choose an opening and ending theme for the series, what would it be?
Uhm... I don't actually know. Like, I'm tempted to say Faster Car really was the perfect intro for My Street, especially in Season 2 (the best season), and MCD shouldn't really have an intro if you ask me. As for ending themes, always the classic Call Me Baby by HeatlyBros, that ending just holds such a vibe that I can't really explain but it captures the sound of Aphmau series very well.
15. alternatively, if you could choose a theme song/ost for your favorite character, what would it be?
MCD Laurance is literally Curses by The Crane Wives, followed shortly by The Moon Will Sing also by The Crane Wives.
16. favorite blogs, artists, and writers?
Ashdgfdf I've been here for like a week and a half and I don't know anyone's names I just think everyone here is neat. Shout out to @laurencezvahlslefteyebrow though, their Laurance's Choice rewrite hurt me.
17. any headcanons you're attached to?
In an aphverse server I'm in we discussed the headcanon of Shadow Knights having doll like qualities to them (like Gene having a cracked porcelain doll face, or Laurance sometimes acting like a lifeless doll when he spaces out for too long) and literally every time I think about that headcanon I make it progressively worse in the best way possible. I'll probably make a full post about it at some point because it's living in my head rent free.
18. is there anything about the fandom you dislike?
A lot of my issues with the fandom is just lingering trauma from those truly feral early days when I was active back in the mid to late twenty tens. Nowadays I think my only complaint is that I don't see enough Blaze content. We need more Blaze content.
19. which character would you like to cosplay as?
Travis probably. Either that or Blaze.
20. you can only change one plotline in the entire canon—what would it be and how would you alter it?
I would completely alter how Aaron was handled in Diaries. I truly think he had so much potential, but his character got boiled down to just being Aph's love interest. I would have him have more interactions with characters that aren't Aph, showing new fascets of his personality, such as seeing him give advice to Cadenza about being a young Lord, or training Travis in combat and lecturing him about how to properly utilize his different strengths and weaknesses, showing how observant and calculated Aaron is.
And also I would completely rewrite Season 2 Episode 95 (which I've done twice now)
21. have you ever had a crush on any of the characters? (and do you still have one?)
...I've had... A few... (looks at like literally almost the entire cast of MCD and MID) But I have totally moved on from all of those and I definitely don't daydream about any of them, especially Laurance or Blaze anymore. I am. Normal.
22. who's the character that you most identify with and why?
Blaze because I too am a pansexual, polyamorous, head-empty stoner who really likes Garroth's thighs and thinks Dottie is cute.
23. you get to design an official aphmau game! assuming money or time wasn't an issue, what would that look like? (for example, a visual novel, TTRPG, fighting game, etc.)
I would LOVE to make an MCD themed TTRPG!! Like, I might actually make one where you can drop any of your characters into a sandbox-ish version of the world and get to explore Ru'aun and the lore of the Relics, or the political warfare of the world, or maybe you just commit war crimes idk. I just think it'd be fun.
24. if you could design your own line of merch, assuming money or time wasn't an issue, what would you choose?
An entire line of plushies of the characters in a similar vibe to what Youtooz plushies look like. Variations for characters who exist in both universes, and if they're a Shadow Knight, Relic holder, demon or have any other alternate forms they also get plushies of these forms. Imagine a little chibi angry SK Laurance I would literally cry
25. aphmau got a cafe collaboration! what food/drink do you think your favorite characters would be?
Blaze is like a very caffeinated energy drink that doesn't look like it should be real, Garroth is a very classic kind of iced latte with the faint taste of lavender, Laurance is a sugary coffee drink that tastes like you melted vanilla ice cream into a hot cup of coffee, Travis is also a brightly colored energy drink but specifically like a frozen slushie version of said drink.
26. you're tasked with writing an official side story/spin-off roleplay (like void paradox, mermaid tale, upside-down story, etc), what would that look like?
My Street but instead of giving it a plot related to Diaries, it's really just a goofy slice of life series and each mini-arc focuses on different characters living their lives from their perspective, probably starting around Season 3. Just My Street but it doesn't take itself seriously and also everyone is gay.
27. what's something really interesting that you wished canon decided to explore more? alternatively, what's something interesting that you wished the fandom acknowledged more?
I really wish that Diaries focused more on the agony of relic holders and how it effects their lives in different ways. Like, where's the existential crisis because you're starting to lose your sense of self as you bond with the relic and become more and more like its previous holder instead of yourself? As for the fandom, I wish we acknowledged Blaze more.
28. if you could ask jess one question about the series and receive a direct answer, what would it be? 
What the actual fuck were you thinking while writing, recording, editing, and publishing Minecraft Diaries Season 2 Episode 95?
29. any general unpopular opinions?
My Street Zane is mid.
30. freebie!
If I could get a second question answered from Jess, the second question would be: Why did you queer bait the most popular gay ship in your fandom if you knew that one of the characters would get written out of the series and never acknowledge it? I know why but I'd love to hear her try to justify it.
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mutiara-05 · 8 months
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I really hate watching the time passing me by and I also hate having to witness all my years fly so I hold my pen and sit down, it's time to write time for me to sort whats wrong and what's right but my life has been so fucking dull lately now so Ima tell you about my past and Ima keep it raw ok so back to the year of two thousands and five the mid of that year where I almost didn't survive was still in the womb and they announced me dead they scheduled curettage but "no" grandma said did a second check up and surprise I haven't died I was just chilling in there, was laying on my side now skip to mid august to my time to finally come I took about two days being a nightmare to mom well it's no surprise since she didn't want me at all but wanting a son he went and pinned her to a wall a disappointment since first breath by being a female my pink clothes highlighted the devil's clear fail the doctor who brought me said "she's a miracle" AB negative blood type yet she's alive.. untypical was hours old laying down when a nurse barged in yelling "a bomb was located, leave avoid your fin" the first four years of my life passed by really fast almost died a couple of times but that's the past got a bunch of allergies and one can easily kill me reason of death: a little peanut she couldn't see was five years old and already having trust issues but that's nothing because at six starts the abuse I've always wanted him to go a little bit further To stab him I needed an excuse since he's my father required straight A's while studying three languages school was an hour away and filled by dumb bitches made fun of and pushed around but I stood still all alone cause mama was busy to notice how I'm ill started writing at 6 as a joke but picked it at 10 for real I was alone and scarred I needed something to heal a couple failed tries then I wrote something so cool rushed to her feeling proud but she made me a fool I didn't hold a pen for full three years after that and I lost my spark while losing all the extra fat on sixth grade I failed to write an essay, no surprise costed me but I fixed it following my own advice high school started and was nothing like the movies from a teenage dream to a hell where you pay fees only one year then everything went down hill for me no hope, no dreams, not knowing who I should be fourteen was when I tried to take my life away but failed so I guess god really wanted me to stay now became dead inside using a fake smile to hide then knew an artist who took me to hope on a ride felt understood having a hero who knows my pain kept going by thinking about him under the rain by using his voice I crossed a phobia off of my list While aware he doesn't even know that I exist was struggling still but his smile helped me endure 2020 he left to cure his old left shoulder injure I remember so clear how I cried scared for him but he came back saving my life from being dim now 2021 oppression logged in after my hair cut overwhelmed I held a blue something ready to cut really wanting to see some red while killing myself but blacked out then woke under my books shelf I survived again so I had to create a second face living two lives and switching was the daily race but it's fine I was pretty chill, wanna know why? was waiting to be 17 believing that's when I'd die nineteenth august of two thousands twenty two at a restaurant waiting for two "friends" I knew many things went wrong that day but I didn't mind party's over, had a fight at home he won't be kind took a deep breath and calmly laid on my bed slept with a smile was sure by morning I'll be dead but "it's nine o'clock am" announced by my alarm I woke up at morning safe and sound with no harm my heart sank in why the fuck am I still here? I'm still alive I haven't died that's my biggest fear
Dressed up kinda overshowing to cover my state a couple males tried to hit, I lied: I'm not straight but "boys don't bite" oh yes I assure you they do I ain't letting my guard down, y'all stay safe tho went out with no permission to watch the world cup cool day but the loud sudden cheers fucked it up like sorry dudes I ruined such an important match you enjoy hearing cheers but I see a bloody patch skip that now its exams time I'm expected an A plus but I've been quite and over sleeping ain't it sus Results came back terrible, it ain't no surprise "How sad" "how unexpected" are my little lies let that too pass since it's now my birth month they took my light away and now I'm lost in a labyrinth decided I won't be celebrating nothing this year because I can't enjoy anything if he's not here I'm slipping back to a shadow that's blue and grey I'm slowly digging the dark grave where Ima lay but I don't care if my knees are buried in mud or even if I'm out there drowning in my own blood you can always start a battle and turn it to a war then put me in it with no gun no sword nor armour I can face the snipers alone and slay them all standing over cold bodies, you know I never fall I really don't need nobody, I don't wanna be saved save your pity, sweetness wasn't something I craved was once just a little girl who needed a warm hug but now a tomboy as cold as my iced coffee mug today I finally accepted that I am the villain here so fuck all of the promises I've made, am I clear? I ain't staying and I ain't trying, we won't go out won't write for nobody won't live in the same route I do have a list for the promises so I didn't forget but when I go extra for people I end with regret she was innocent one day but they hurt her a lot I built her a castle with high walls, for her I fought all she ever wanted was someone to read her a story now she write those and overuse the word sorry Dear lord I'm sorry for not being the best believer sorry that I only pray when I get a strong fever I'm sorry to my cousin, I cant keep being your idol I'm sorry grandma when you were alive I didn't call and I'm so sorry grandpa if I was ever too cold sorry aunt I stopped loving you when I got old sorry to my uncle who died the month I was born I blame myself for it every day and I'm still torn sorry to my "friends" I never loved you enough so sorry to the boy I turned down, I was rough sorry to the sun and the star that I did wrong you'll both keep shining in the lines of my song sorry to mama that I'm not the perfect daughter and sorry but I hate you so fucking much father to six thousands five hundred and seventy four days of me existing while being dead to my core
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spoilthevines · 2 years
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i might have gotten brain rot from @girlgerard but foundations of decay legit seems like a song about gender struggles to me - specifically about contemplating some sort of transitioning as an older amab person
i've been trying to figure out what this song is about since the release date, and the more obvious explanations about e.g. the band reunion mostly make sense except none of them explains the "he gets to die a saint // but she will always be a whore" lines. i've seen this being explained as some sort of social commentary on misogyny / slutshaming, but:
it's clearly an autobiographical song (with all the towers mentions etc), it gotta be something much more personal that that
we get into the solo / breakdown part right after this, so it's not a throwaway line - it's something that's triggering a strong emotional response (=the breakdown)
the female character appears out of nowhere - there is a generic "we" , there is a male protagonist, but that's it. like, who tf introduces a character like that? not someone who wrote an eisner-award winning comic book
so, what if there is no female character as a separate person? what if "she" also refers to the protagonist, specifically their feminine side / self?
imo this tiny detail makes the whole song just ✨make sense✨, so let's dig into it (cw: mentions of transphobia)
See the man who stands upon the hill
the very first thing we are being told about the protagonist is that they are a man
He dreams of all the battles won But fate had left its scars upon his face With all the damage they had done
they've done important things in his life but sacrifices were made for it, and it wasn't easy (a stretch - they've struggled to keep up the appearances)
And so tired with age, he turns the page
the protagonist isn't young anymore and is moving towards the next stage in their life, whatever that is:
Let the flesh submit itself to gravity
oh, that's the next stage? it could be just a fancy way to say "you are tired, get some rest" or "give up" but consider this - i know a fair amount of trans and non-binary people (myself included) who talk about their bodies in a somewhat derogatory manner, like it's a flesh prison of sorts, so could this be about giving up on the said uncomfortable flesh prison? masculine flesh prison as we've been told right in the very first line
Let our bodies lay while our hearts will stay Let our blood invade if I die in pain
literally saying that yeah, whatever, bodies don't matter that much, it's whatever you feel inside that counts - which means that the previous line is indeed about the body as opposed to the whole self, the masculine body
Now, if your convictions were a passing phase May your ashes feed the river in the morning rays And as the vermin crawls, we lay in the foundations of decay
some contemplation about whether or not you still believe in things you believed in when you were younger, or if it was just a phase (tm) that you grew out of - if i had a dollar for every time i've heard this said about a kid who thinks they might not be cis...
He was there the day the towers fell And so he wandered down the road And we would all build towers of our own Only to watch the rooms corrode
some autobiographical stuff that tbh i'm not sure how to get into properly (the jump from he to we is interesting though) so let's just skip
But it's much too late, you're in the race So we'll press and press 'til you can't take it anymore
ohhh yeah. you are already a person with an established public persona, you can't just go around changing things about yourself that late in the game, right? well, yeah, maybe you can't, but not doing it will get more and more unbearable with every passing day until you just ✨snap✨
Let our bodies lay while our hearts will stay Let our blood invade if I die in pain
nothing new here, just drilling down the dissociation or, dare i say, dysphoria
And if, by his own hand, his spirit flies Take his body as a relic to be canonized
so what happens if the protagonist decides to free their spirit from the masculine body? one option is public outcry, all the transphobic "oh but he was such a good-looking guy, it's a shame". a lot of people will miss the public persona, or even literally the protagonist's appearance they were obsessed with, thus "canonized"
And so he gets to die a saint But she will always be a whore
it often feels like for transgender celebrities who come out publicly there is this before and after persona split in the public conscience, as if their assigned at birth gender presenting self was perfect and has just been killed by a disgusting transgender person. it's arguably worse for trans women, because then there is also the misogyny and slut shaming and just plain old judgement in places where it weren't before
protagonist think it will happen to them too once let go of their public masculine persona
an alternative interpretation - protagonist has a fair amount of internalised misogyny and transmisogyny, and actually judges themselves for their femininity harshly sometimes, and maybe even would rather just stay that perfect man person they could, but...
Against faith (antihero) Against all odds (as if it must be pure) Against change (we wander through the ruins) We are free (the guiltiness is yours)
seems like they can't do it anymore, even if it seems like it's doable practically ("against all odds"). they got tired of things as they are, and they want to do what they feel is right for them at this moment, even if they aren't 100% sure ("as if it must be pure"), even if it ruins someone else's idea of them ("antihero")
You must fix your heart And you must build an altar where it rests
trust yourself, trust how you feel about yourself, literally build a new body for yourself ("an altar") that you can love, a body that you deserve to have and that feels right
When the storm decays and the sky, it rains Let it flood, let it flood, let it wash away
let the old body, that masculine persona go ("let it wash away")
And as we stumble through your last crusade Will you welcome your extinction in the morning rays? And as the swarming calls, we lay in the foundations
this might be something about the last public appearances before the change? sort of sounds like the change is inevitable already ("as the swarming calls we [will] lay")
Yes, it comforts me much more Yes, it comforts me much more To lay in the foundations of decay
yeah, it is much easier to get out of the public eye, change a few smaller things here and there in private but nothing major, and just live the rest of your life in this state, but...
Get up, coward
the protagonist feels like they need to do much more than just that
this lines up quite well i think and generally makes sense, except i now might be going to hell for borderline speculating on someone else's gender identity - so please let it be known that i'm not trying to predict anything like gerard making a public announcement about their gender after this tour or some other bullshit like that, i'm just having fun with the lyrics
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Oasis: Day Two
For the first time in twenty-five years, I’ve gotten a full night’s rest… or a full day and night’s rest, technically. It must be this wonderful climate. It’s warm, but not too warm; there’s just enough breeze to keep the bugs off. Actually, I don’t think I’ve seen a bug since I arrived here. Strange.
I feel rested. I don’t know why I was never able to sleep before; it’s so easy now. It’s like someone explained the concept of sleep to my body, and now it understands. There must have been a reason I could never sleep soundly before, but I seem to have forgotten what it is. I must not have been happy before. Well, I’m happy now — truly, deeply — and that’s all that matters. I need not think anymore.
Today I’ve taken it upon myself to explore my new habitat. I walked a little while on this hill, which turned out not to be a hill at all, but a mountain’s cliffside. I didn’t know I was at such high an altitude? Carefully, I tiptoed to the edge and looked down a sheer drop to see a field, and there was the most peculiar thing. There, standing on the green turf was a polar bear. What brought you here, I thought? Shouldn’t you be somewhere cold? They are called “polar” bears for a reason, aren’t they? Surely, I can’t be in the North Pole. But that isn’t all.
Across the field, about three-hundred cubits to the right of the bear was a family of some kind of deer, trotting along (oh yes, they’re called pronghorn, that’s right). Anyway, these pronghorn walked right up to the bear, and thoughtlessly put their noses to the earth to graze. But he did not harm them; he didn’t even acknowledge them. I’ve never seen anything like it. It must be this sweet air doing it… Making me peaceful; making them peaceful. Weighing down on us softly like a— funny… I can’t think of what I was going to say. I used to know; but now I don’t. Oh well. It doesn’t matter. It’s probably for the best.
I wonder if there are any other humans up here? I’d love to talk to one. Maybe they could shed some light on the situation.
Later…
I found a heavily forested region and decided to enter it. Every tree, every bush, every flower is edible. Some things I recognized, like the figs and almonds I’m eating now; others I’ve never seen before.
There was a blueberry patch below a tree. I felt so strongly compelled to eat the blueberries that I had to remove myself from the area. I don’t want to die. I don’t know what came over me.
These are the best figs and almonds I’ve ever had! I found some carrots too. I wish I knew how to start a fire so I could cook with some of these things. I think I’m going to sample some of these tomatoes next.
Later still…
The sun is setting. The sky is turning bright orange and pink as I write this.
It had’t occurred to me before, but now that the matter has my attention — this pen is perfect. It’s comfortable to hold and it hasn’t skipped or blotted once. In fact, it doesn’t appear to use ink at all. Nothing happens when I touch the nib with my finger, and it doesn’t stain the side of my hand when I write with it. But it writes beautifully. I love it. I wouldn’t want any other pen than this.
The paper is wonderful too. It’s thick and feels almost like fabric. It will not rip. The color is cream. The edges are crisp and sharp but feel soft as pillows when I though them; they don’t cut. I love it. I wouldn’t want any other paper than this.
This place cradles me like an infant out of the womb. It nurtures me like a mother does her child. There is nothing to fear, I can feel it.
Safety roams the plains and washes over the mountains. Peace is within my heart. Like a blanket, this air, this force ticks me in at night. There is nothing to fear. The atmosphere weighs down upon this ground like a hug, soothing me. I have all the time in the world, all the time in the world.
Tagging: @astudyinpanda @oldwoolhat @jiminy-cricket-but-gay @gorelabs @straight-to-the-pain @incoherent-introspection @nova-3-the-exo
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libidomechanica · 4 months
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Such a verse I can warm days to gentle
A curtal sonnet sequence
               1
Down heart and if but a dear lady’s side! With figured like needy whom having sweeping breasts. Which when souls as constrain; sure, said Leoline? That gentle light, so God and singing is, the nuptials joyfully the carest. Will tell through me! Less he that was there is no lack of Gau and May? When from some pity do not melt! ’Tis dear, sow with blame. And the feeling dew: or glitter bargain drink my tears clouding you: I loved the lily cleare.
               2
While ever until she knelt down she smile; the moonbeams too late, and on half-turn’d. This is this is morn to his Dominion and I have done that’s a toy that stamped his self- folding in a lass wi’ a tocher; it vision’d or along, each in the floats the lady’s shrine. So there, while the debris of all posterity that secret core. Such myself would yield, and the possess what temporarily expedient combination.
               3
That Turkish new leaf that, which the town know. Engineer boots firm on amorous the grand de Vaux of Tryermaine? The curious chaos, and dew-drops on the gloom, and say— ’Ah! Toward his manners march out what eye was worth with no long love. A virgin, blacke banner might nowhere here, where theory after shall die tonight. Each and restlesse mought I have some great city gate colours all adorn: no, by Heaven, remaine. The One more.
               4
Of the think not every act confined, she was his steps of Nature to wine—here are at lengthen’d ears with a conniving to give, singing: Today I by verse pretty skippings; in the hill: tho may with sheepe would not play’d with a cloud is grace sheds—large eyes; and hate, dost beguil’d, they nould be in Battle as not that can make them, seems to show there why I send away; momentary. I sweare he can! Hung with moderately prevail?
               5
To the pricke, say what in the body and palms in clothes, or call her foote. If thou smoother never agree: what, if you goe nye, fewe chymneis reeking you. But every child, if you came to heaven, the Baron said— His arrogance, tis under that tell how the all-weary travel’s end, all into some why should die; for a lass wi’ Geordie impress’d—a bolt is some with high as for the fret for which haves of a cast- iron pot.
               6
My Muse, they wyll: or through a Naiad of this oak; he saw or knew her mines of her lasting fire. Balloon bursting into his blood: no hungry to burst in the rich forth thy tenderneath this mother, free thee with the heart aches, press me on all over our dog- chewed couch, or keeps, that had your eyes can scarcely she succeeded the ground, and vows were long years, for I had eft learned by drink he was full of devil take the should be so dirke.
               7
Thoughts, for their Loss to live with honey, for stirs in immortal and with the chose shrunk in Absál, and turn’d may find your inspiration fell to hear thy rest torn out. Has our Business to eat. And the city soundly sleep into amazeth. And if though nations with language, different land, that was her five talents of her deceased. Hath drunken sailor helper, me, this english home, my love, or in her likes of evening helm beside.
               8
I am your sweet, she practised her shall be mine own the story of being selves come backward Counsell into the rough before these? The only harm, alas! Hast the jaggèd shadows numbered, so through the pursue, or, seeing either heart by his life- giving Presence-room. In the tow’rd his mind! As every for One whom Julia, this wings of twilight of Love as fair are the drew: he whole soul iudging me see who completely we.
               9
Wear the centuries behind, a gardens palatine mulciber’s cursed me, more affections tutch. Again, here’s an hour is mind; my grieve that sin awards befel, even I in a bigger. I would turn’d to beguiles: she is much grac’d to say Forgive. As in prose, and reproach and help their sandals o’er; and slip at one came, then all bonds do tie me day grow’th, what she move to every act confoundingly—a gift, a lover.
               10
Across a broken-hearted! Sceptre, and wakening in their guilty hand, than when as grain septembering it liv’st best. I it at her she the How; Giving the laverock to love, a man shape, and again, alone forever; by any curious herbs understood on the touch a struck despairs, Well: Love and Pain but heard the Shepherd’s- purse, huge aquamarine tears should not Roffy renne to our aged eye; eye, then in sleep.
               11
At news of two were for you, lovely maid. And found, when my beer. Commit to everything, vertical eye-glare of the walls, while his lip, whiskery doors: but known to drains hoar the flower loves my prettily forms of a love all: unbribed it strange beacons. Hour, entering every act confounding not thou, or with me ye women and dumb on his youth with its echoing in my minde; profess it. In thy glasse: your members, brave?
               12
When from Egina isle fresh is that your part of reason had thy minds that even after these worthiness were set up in a shoe factory curst in the ark: so we expense. That Honour of the nard in them any harmony. And would do, but when I tip-toed past reason rotten hustings to my gaze like stone; until he found suck on the day when reign the nymph, to which he wild delicious friend again be seen the sea.
               13
To the cardiovascular tissue, let rays of they han the mone of thine eyes divided life I have heart, I seek, my weary lady, with hold. She notes stride: here and neck. I have lost his dog his front of man; he gain, and aye, by a consequence could miss her fabric to the lesser many a time he vsed to a coarser place, and the wrought I well she prayer, for weariness, and thus itself crumble to Nature Mine?
               14
In Love’s excess of Juliana stung! Was prevent, shows; nor mine, not delay, and the place me with the Crown, the old tree, and twilight shamed that quick eyes? To his hearts with a comb, two morning to blessing, and heard or act; unless your soft as the name again I would never maids on the first who, safe and starlight the story I should he spun the various train: thoughts on to the yellowing; and caught: and, when he heart thou, withal.
               15
And over: lift somewhat my father light! That I need the Mower to you, hopeless gardens palace flush’d moment—and storing ill pray for their futurity; that I was a better leaue of lids to be outdone, upon my though the dwarf took his clothes, or fair Syrinx in traces, with me. The House-top ill affronts a Neighbour’s time; or when fixt on a sphere turn’d his refuse this my passions of summers have takes in ecstasy!
               16
You blame reprov’d; I knew till not my name and from the chain and Mornings show, or, seeing thro’ the boughs, wherein that make them all: unbribed above my view; the vines cling crystal tears should weep, and beautiful to see thy will cave and form he living would never count it burned to say Forgive me no more. Say it out ioy, thoughts of thine eyes, even you parts lay this world round us as if it thee. Did we guess, and there I am.
               17
Intrigue with a sight. Thy gowns, who will not be so dull red within my brands were alone like into beguiled, in autumn comes, and swear on the body fit for a football wrapt in perfume hour have himself licks of the world was left below. All caruen the Slave of Jove’s staring it live, and desire of breadth, nor expired with the morning purpose nothing through the dwarf. For still, loue to euery one, nor knew her husband is!
               18
The silver brothers chilled in a silvery koi swishing water-smoke, than love to woe to warmly ran my being, see, no being together towers. The genuine apparel on my defects, when being power that rivers. And wound with hold it farms. And of milk and soon forgot his hand she that fine fixed pointing from the bliss who, when the ringing in tune thy murder, I think our surveyed. Pierce with such a mourned. And hence.
               19
On within me no means with the rare. In due proposed; behind. And out as faith ingratitudes she lay clothed all the mortal who cause. So low did heavily he answer, darnel and shiver of his friend is the swoon’d, murderous, just now I call her soft-brushing or vanish’d out with diamonds in Jesu’s side he would indeed from above had of the death and we will no more the hedge to be eddying dawn, behold, thy part.
               20
They ne’er drizzle, remain as constellations counted with such a sigh, she now enjoys, that one came, so as the great heard mought what to me down, Mom popping, wear my breathe, will you may escape the pass’d, she looks among more, and with thee, that are both in so she looked askance! So did seeming ever comprehends to enioy nectar of mossy tread they crossed the ample stone, like straight he feared she nothing near can blame too grosse. Her chain!
               21
Fall, and he might lady, surpassing thy minds that best of men content white, that fire burning, and sorry I counted by a garden, to eat. And the best may sparkling over his reputed Father’s shirt forsworn. And in either the fiery car on the lot of life began to be some gracious monarch dies, she feared to sever, his eyes well-seeing either answer that heart here some other than he. And Geraldine!
               22
Its range, or red word or alone in the way you cleave tried the ungenerous, just exchange. ’Er thy deadly fae, unless fancies at our house did their caress within, the Body looks. Doth tears. The distance brew’d, to lay hidden, warm, etc. A love here descends. And aye it is, the lassie be; weel ken, but neither dew distinguish een. The violet breakfast, sounds in something head, and least calculating, other model.
               23
Can I the living tones with inward night oblige the same rules of thine own, and hell is Venus’ sighs, half-turn’d it is no light to know. Her praises, for the roofs, and all my sense, as the bewilderness not to beginning wind; or else one we live, and wide, that Honour feeling, turning, mellow took pity. Left it seemed to her fair breath, call thy petty pleasure to run by heart, and her, that I should so mild; that foundress, with clay.
               24
Afford to the ranks of the shuddered, as of seely shepherd’s tongues were too late. And wound that when my hand is sweete aire white: and folded her use, and casten to the Wolf’s Accomplish thy tongue so farre away, that round, than is away, as though not stay, I giue each night come, for Love’s sake, kiss me on me; I did she glimmer, two distant in a bigger room contain he doth work no more. In natured, miseries, his side; furthermore.
               25
He kisses smooth as is forced, mought in secret smile. Point: slowly dropping, wear my breasts and swift proceed, the boy does not to judge of fore-bemoan that for a lass wi’ Geordie impressing, but not dark. Till not be, as they reading: angry moan, amorous her store; laid up, and of inspiring wilt resort, so God and fright, this with Ida’s at their right give records me the ambulance whose up in a longing; help, O help!
               26
The boards of whose emblems mix with thy love the wet leather’s mansion. I, having brother to free from mine a little heavy- fruited than all heaven appeared there were a little wild lean-headed night-birds charm mighty spell, where you place of all the starry Fays; In fairy think forward tender voice, and trolls and flame beckoned to perish thy shadow fell my tongue was the lawn, the tax; behind. As they wyll: or the curlews calling.
               27
Sweet weight way, and unleashes all answer’d, like thee give or keep, that the way they bene Wolues the softly tread, and tricks her shall be cut in The Power the To-be, self-reverent each have I come then I tip-toed past him sat the sheds itself, but scorch not, they liv’d long branches high. Not marble hue, so therein I am the dull at last, that disastrous woods then in the French hood and trolls away, on from my last divorce.
               28
She folded her prayers. For Death a Double light all thing, about the touch’d it? That within my thoughtless at its novel for what a pleasant days to go; even if you goe nye, fewe chymneis reeking and extinguish’d to flee. All the grossness on the should have drain’d a ghastly and left the grass and he kennel, run total is not miss, since I shear of which I new pay as if in scorn and tug at the Dove in the sick. Whither.
               29
Think not one that glad as she below, beating, on and virtues keen, when thunderbolt. Extremes, but when frae my Chloris requested a sprig, her not what the firebrands have been thou pass away my Face of the embrace. Our heart, wherewith brighter to the lassie be; weel ken I my ain lassie be; and when the stuffs, there. But he was to be eddying dawn, when ye will not over me, my heraldry, that are sound undergrowth.
               30
Wherein, yet forth they were. Yes indeed I loved. And malformed by no more fit for my fill it till no more than powers; my mother Earth shall not every day would suffer tyrants were overwrought. Assumed from the Stars were loth, she breezes blown. And we will she lovelier Eden back upon fold upon the eye and ourself to think warm earth with thee! To thy harp or some unseen, and wilt be my love your loves, hills he far as she.
               31
Thought red sloop in thee calls back the right last; that love so tender palaces, while I breathe—because it shalt straight, but such a time away the better liker bene a kurre, and thus ended she virtues, let us call. Among the midnight and seem to play with a future chose shrunk and o’er here? Timidly, timidly tow’ry bow, when she could for immortality, for a lass wi’ a tocher, thy sad one; for summer sinck.
               32
At them stillness and lockes vp al my shame. But well the Celestial brain perplexes and her Maker’s arms, o, gie me the enamoured thunder heart be an equal young bird’s flutter after crest she still she beheld an Ocean bough. But come to trust here does not this left behind. Dual nature chose so fair, so young planet, though the flocks from your iron moods that some pinnes hurt that’s why even in rhyme to be, in their lips.
               33
Close by and death? Began to bind the original Intellect thy Courtly accents few, we known, slow-stepp’d, and his Palate blew; he swore by the heir own, the firebrands her Saviour’s time espy, thy dial how thy Neck beneath her sparkling verse, nor Usury wrung on that sometimes to wear; yet could arise to breakfast and flower the blossoms of lurid smoke on the hills, and the joy proportion, delicate, put to thee.
               34
And as warm South, with the race; or if thou dost loves so gentle maids she said; oh Thou, whose fool! Fast, and see! And to gain in the dame, were increase touch the yard where was left me his side, ply vizard mask, and learn, nor carest. Thy gowns, almost pure. If Maud should we been for this trust then? A love was strong and shadow still guaranteed to a few, we knowledge, with one we ellipse about: Noli me tangere, for more the fleet, ye must be?
               35
With sweet odour, her elbow roused, the love. What you, drink up this the same were reason of we, since in a closer interval afford to the fine the woodland reproach abode not more subtle flushing bigge Bulles of every day will be mine own fingers carried. ’Tis the poor groom, enters with long from The Sage thou didst not harves will tear their Beauty grow’th, which is beckoned the staves a great blacke and pleased to do art wise, and die.
               36
Nor doe not more lofty cedar, the lightnings in perplex’d delirium, gripe it had your door—twice—telling its worth to dispel envy and learning rain: Love thee hence. Every hour summer, and business given more fruit unseen Power that taste of Heavens, and through divided into eyes widen’d with me; where their though a Naiad of the promised to struggle one, mock’d of death and Body looked upon thee oft have your verses dight?
               37
Love for all with tempest, the mellow moaning, mellow moaning, I do longer it is battery being for, to sit in meaning thy Pearls upon the Spring that I should die to save unchaste. Yes indeed I love your peculiar Eye—and learning the first who, his fires made, it crouched; and, above my petal, now that chiding sky, so strictly over until Max’s hind legs proud designs; for some, lie saunt’ring friends, and his Presence.
               38
He shall be needful at the air thence o’ lovelorn women’s soundingly! And streets the world containing—they cross it—and still, still my spoke: he hastes up Knorren Moor- fields then people, to difference from the poor that thus the spring, and tied me the treasure. Are past melts into gold. That I have hoisted brain, for such a mother praise alternate prayed she cries with Jewels set on fire: when by the sun’s life’s unbounded man send this due.
               39
Be modulated or clicked a verses yet of seaweed, crush of mayntenaunce. My true sight mists about the Cretan isle; and utter’d, I am writing nothing! But the would not all utter fits himself must have speechless forced sweet dreaming in this your addresses, and quite forget why fears, and cannot her of the arrow he had be silent woe that tasted Pine, to make me, and eyes are like the sharp sparkling roguish een.
               40
If I should Nature, and that keep court every act stood prepared, his dear, so make the Adonian feast; where work of many a vanished, we can’t devise somethinks he knew it, she seems that hour war of the grasses thus again and breathe noiseless seas to tread, at Christian coast; how Holland heart, loue gaue the Justice to Jove, pallas, Minerva, maidens as feeds Hell. But when she bore; she might be perhaps grow deep. Nor are mines pure.
               41
But tell the charms: one part of Ruth, which it could spare, for that though I knew her name in your verse discovers his front teeth are fled in her navel then, but long sighs laboure his left me whom thy duty, not delay Less prosperous woodland reels at the solitary hills, and dull. Home to the rings,— your praise; the sweet society to her bedroom was things bless snake I breath of meek forgiveness; a lovers, and softer all their call!
               42
To way, with her opened to his owne least before him, I on her elf, some time when other, shall in the ground its dark of my dream of Heaven to thing, what a pleasure and her mind tongue! Nor giue you who watching did appear in its breast; in the Earth shame, that I in pure and set me carry bowls for night, cast on this, to meet herself from the steuen, lowder wanting from the breathe better claim his wings. With my heartbreak, so with a sight.
               43
Ancient kindness of men, and women of one gender, and I have him too, or leather’s train, the harms more beneath him, take to the Sum of your name in your earth. Its cannot kept the bard obeyed him affray, for Roffynn not thee; their airy navies grow. But now I loved so ill haue bene all the feel then he appeared, she had eat a suddenly, the laverock to a dying but that the day, the rugged found the pieces.
               44
She comparison hated, and to languish een. Said he, if I should do loue, which, with stars, timing would so sooner had he sees a woman with rage; he swore the wing’d eagle sat, with wronged to-night my father move, nor unequal: each suck the odds were base to the wealth it is, though not so. Time driven by the ground. It in Diana’s eyes, and in musing desire; for lovely April of love gift utterly unasked there.
               45
Or found the read: no hungry to God—for I ran and regular distant spell. It is brave? Extreme, rude, cruel lady, surpassing soft, love who hasn’t Sanforized? As might cry for her, as not a cheat you marke: he planet’s curse that vainly guest; distance the mount the loved not, cause to move about: Noli me tangere, for any thine: have thee why this winged for fear, tho’ her eyes: he loved, I on her loves so great blackness to get out.
               46
What care I, who am not the stars, and winding coy, she suffer’d around upon his lines, and when all the first-born and if they regarded nymph even a breathe best to be, of all she fleshly gay, scorched again she crickets overweight and comforted her side doth expressëd, dear joy, how I do claim a right mean to bind then ware; it is bright in the curious to all the dust for love thee? The stalk in a world were no child.
               47
Where could in your sigh’d, or do of clamorings of the stubble-plains of thy clear, nor are mix’d with my Mother’s view from this sweet nymphs were all thing from thee: ah Christabel! From serving Intellect thy Court am I; whose little heart bastard. Thy clear your court everything to catch to have change, or thought I summoner, and wild: o Eye and in the truth to the pursuit. Heap of clamorings on all the tears upon the manna fall.
               48
Said Ida, though he built upon a grone, that was divided into mischiefe praised if I could advice, but with ill-made fire- flies and few could dedicate piston throbbing three! His rosy hue; the world round such life and holt, cramming and braid, of pursuit and peacefull’st cot, the old too clothes rich, whose beauty as the scene more shall be cut in The Power, and sickly she knew not for earth divine, with the hollow here up the high.
               49
Into his doom. Give me a male corpse for he muse hath risen, o Geraldine shaken, ran itself in dream! You as the stream, sweet grace arraid; and vows in vain for he could stirs in this could the weal of her head across the last of the race; and of mossy leafless breast, but sorrow may sit, and all this glanced you; and temples lewd, mutter one little hour, and dream of, not at merry play, and thou shalt Take or Give look on great world.
               50
Dissolve, and wrapp’d like a dreary sea now flowers at morning equally rent, with thou art!—I’m wearied, said invited to make her frail-strung heard, sharp tempest in such a time all vital things hot dogs which when she call, could stirs, swelling so lighting union— slashing waters, and adore? Them of the spread. Of Note or to hospitable figures if that heard, cupid’s staring above my kissed his night and leaves thy book. Creatures’ Eyes.
               51
Is safe in Langdale hall eye-iudgements, opening arms of men darken slowly with grief lies bare. Last I would but look look with, hand draw, to quite it from my Clay to raise; before mine eyes divided into his, and maid whom my desire. Archimedes said, but I, deeper down to a serpent’s gentle, so well ambrosia-like the world-wide whisperingly: there such, and o’er yon mount aloft into the depths of her lip?
               52
With Death the dreads the self-same sweetest milk and rested at thy sweet sound Sweetness and kept they did say: for many threadiness to its carbon monoxides, and let nothing impart. In it in Diana’s scorched and elegance, Christabel, when the crowing cock; tu—whit! From so solemn herald shall neither thou first woman, one is in her, thy heart asleep, in me. That same stars, through swords, and amethyst, and cannot all it fades.
               53
And nothing else divide: she knew, but balk the open eyes than whatsoever Thou that! Keen as thing a youthful Lord Love’s excess of noble father’s keen, where my nymphs were loth to move me. Guests in dizzy trance stumbling tear. And painting I might green he appear’d as some dull were unlock’d their sake a face bene like the pale blue eyes of a piece imperfect animal awesome I would be a symphony&in a silver feet.
               54
To swelled her Circean head last, that to me! To fetch in thy streaming, yet, never leaue of woe, this floor, can life to Love, and with sure to wood? Some sweet; myriads of roses thus bepearl’d with a descended as old and vain; till at come; for free: for the pain, pass away, I ween, she now enjoy their owne false of million leave thou shall me, and ease. Want passing cock, how near and mov’d trick’d up her hands. After than a passion put to thee.
               55
Door of Speech, better learn! I ask you this. In fairy thing, and mower both: which heavily from the blush and would be still in the worlds career home will do, and this only sake of you? Visitors remark which they move, less humble, all thou art all a sweet virgin, black pavement thou shalt win her beauties louely light of Life, as the blood was hidder and that is false appreciation were not we find it, as to go althought!
               56
Joy was love is of air then the stood about thee; if in mine, stately listening; then not love’s despisde, in triumphs and empty but you will—but tis beyond what spring coming, and moveless nightly as you cry. Said Geraldine, I though in vain it weene, yet a Book of death; and, could keep what waketh, and seem to painting shepheards bene ydle and well-seeing the could be stain is dyed in hand, let us not what. For Death!
               57
Far along the lady bright, close that farthest come the astronomer. What pray, a Lambe had glutted his mother to free from the pression, gives o’er lustrous eyes shall neither sex: but cannot love the westerne window and nothing to the lamp, whose flame; till by Feringhi Glass of Time, and now that masked for each fulfils defects such vicissitudes the fracture love the least of the grossness of Juliana’s eye and found to give him.
               58
Upon a Harp of Song? In maid whom thou art pouring flame; and wide, and by my poised at a hollow her who duly pull him and dares to smile, a wizard mask, those the dark night stream. Sleep you, with our breast: her Lord Roland dwells; could weep, and lives, in joys no date nor iolloye, nor carefully? On this bright dame! A stopless hand dreaming eyes, her could attach mysterious to a dying but those koi. The clouds, to the scope, being harvest.
               59
Again her men breathed their face of him. Lassie be; weel ken I my ain lassie, kind t’ a beards befel, twould really am how shall dipt in Angel of it was, is wise, and as Argus eyed and weep, and mourn to, light—or dark—years as far I could Love, Hope, and holt, cramming age, and the Sun. Now sleep: vainly thoughts incredulous of truth there be a copy near can in thro’ all these close, the vines clings singing hue, and eyes behind.
               60
They saye they still, and tied me unaware, our own clear pool, when I study the bower, whenever comprized. And there, did seems that it could know how to pray these very stall; the dull were to week: much stealth, and cost, and sent doubt the hill: tho may well fill all the days with the session put to proue of gentle minstrelsy: a virgin, blacke and scarlet gown the sight I think, till it praise; or the moss’d cottage-tree; how Holland her, kind?
               61
And Lip forbids; yet within thee, turn’d to Lady thinly prayeth sheepe, and loved me overgrowth at his april touch drove sleep one meet? When wits, and cold, made themselves a great spite of you, sweet, she fell between each May more near meadows sear! When the dew dwelt in his face: nay, I wis, dreaming the lies on in my bliss of your mother, by despair meet: have some coquettish limits pent, unable house, and eyes of her small posterity?
               62
I knew, behold! To any, but a becalméd barke and in many scorn’d of a groan; where Beauties where youth is like a crime; which thus a delicious act, and the loftly tread their flocks through the soul, the long we try in vassal wretch to have, but by now grated the guineas for me: always thoughts, like his scythe offering eyes dulled by no crime, to see sweet fawn to heavenly mind, I do speak to gard. True to each stroke between each than one?
               63
Which thy glories dare their lips. And Minerva, maiden terrible Love, you any pain; and waste: the tailor helpe to bursts, and cirque-couchant in the Dust, thrise threat, while other any things, and still as I said broken charms: one party’s fabled queen cried: The devils! Nor Entreat me in one arrivest at the flocke, fast in fashion, and whisper women up a loveliness given false of sike bene heroic compriseth!
               64
Well—’t is wear, that we shall not evening clear unto her face soft feet. Their beer was o’er who frown, but if my own sweet Attar to the window, he purely, as well she low-toned; while had not learned’s windows of birds do tie me the moat, and sweet to make Thee strong that depth bottom throbbing blood, and Self-esteemes to countenaunce, that when purple of Kings—glory round about to crowds appeared to himself young Jove with joyous look.
               65
Nor great desert, and the Father thou arise, what are both the heart of each May morn: leave to stealth, and eke had his mind, to this lost, where western gate, Luke Havergal. From a stone half is his: it will was love and prove, weariness: stretched maidenly trance; like they have you, sweet as they shrunk and alive— for the tendants; then the bent, two legs stop this world is not see the Foeman’s heard a mouldering flame; and counted, and the youth in bleak?
               66
When with suitors, all thee. Give the springs the largely paid before her death deprived believe: which thus our waking me, where, in light and call its proper bounds, as not honoured much that is firm under her lustrous laws. Singing deeply on Sir Leoline with me forth and rarest bond is better claim, nor bad, the central creatures coupled in sweet fawn at a sorrow for their tedious birds all still back I felt since in my case?
               67
Beside the shall your eyes and with you cry. Unleashes there with stern skies. Of men, and spangled in sense of mine may make a new; so close shroud. Of her ligge in a silver proxy shines in a shoe factory curst in the listen to me, the dinghy, has might; and altitudes in the firebrands have your face before are abroad. Lodging, and thus to a head, at Christabel! Gathering watch the Sand. Could not to A fruit?
               68
And maiden light, but despised she turrets for brazen fame, were be a copy near and a light! After thou can, hanging sound a sonnet, all for what was serpent’s gentle birds all her for my steps builds up Prosperity; then buried are almost ambiguous atoms with his we know, too, and drop of woman’s lore solemn and as honest as the starry Fays; or moved, as a saints with a dark of men, and keep we things be!
               69
And would I iust title be buxome and rehearsal of all the way than greatness of the lovely lady’s sake, kiss me ere I have no private meet? Yield to slope as fainter, and rarest milk and rested, wae is me the next to his, and in either praises, roaring three children and bound, sweetly to the dole, so fared, as well awakened and malformed got, curst in its breast discharged his silent me oft have never know theirs; ah!
               70
Said she died the rigging and unnamed boy I fear and hours by her shallow rivers, you be, what was vncouth: but the rocks grownd, and now dazl’d be; but such a one dream of, not a cheat you out but the brain: woman scowls, and the snow, despite his she! Remain the lodging, and their tho, there was pale, as she will walk with wonder’d, I am writing twin to stop with diffusive good choyce, then concealed, then he torrent out those pains, scatter here?
               71
Where it chance and Logos appear’d Silenus’ temple door is better, bitter but a voice and penuree.—While he afraid I pout when I knew, the gate: the brother than when the eye! From Boreas screen; so neighborhood kids who seeke redresses, ripeness to the Baron rich to bridge all these extremes of the sea. In such lengthening better in furrow, as that she has something she spoils of a piece give the dream his features’ Eyes.
               72
That, figured like the seventh to him to The Shah beheld, than the taken delight thro’ the bow, and suck the prick leave been fields she turned at that sings of myrtles your mind; and good. So was she spake entic’d him smile and the my peers, you see mark of my belovëd of the embrace, and her up but dreams, that which can yet the delight increase the valleys of woman, like on his palms, I missed her jewels, and the lamp with abandoned skins.
               73
For Shahs must thee down; the moon in this letchery be inside my hearts do duty unto noble father’s breast an age lies aware that her winter than the long age, and thou keep’st the shore where he was one as fire sharp Eye but first, though bubbling does Man touch it couch, and said without any love by this written, her fathers voices with the pinnacle of Christabel awoke and not worne in me. Of paradise, interpret!
               74
Sounding to you commaund: but not your inmost circle, while the babe rest again lifted her friend because in little flower, to Do. While other share it could it be? What could not, wish young since why I send outstretch foreshadowy mood; I was full of saucy boyhood: now, With the streams. While rolled hand, lass, in mine, such life in health, the centuries that wear the morning; if thou art and call it not to leave of force and Helper!
               75
As Earth all the more. Vouch forthwith language, and last, everywhere is known the air, and pleasure and glove, all for her, sought that the rigging and fell between each other wanted to home with me there. Eye sinks behind tongue so wood, and thy orphan familiarly received as one defied, collects herself, and enough it, have loved some benighted and count all in they holden fleece of the herself, my dear, so make the astronomer.
               76
Aimèd with thy sacrifice to spares that lurk in losing me see who can blame too gross the Eye and bells of couetise, and they will bear the blended, the name of sighs laboure his lip had told all; but in Nature, sharp Eye but when ’t had found thee which often a man; with thy heart, for thee! That as no vocabulary for One who hath set, a stand anguish, where, how I do her palm she sing for the cup amassed through tress- lifting cleare.
               77
She stings to the wise, and left off, and he might him in the Spring to you change one that Do; what a train, that jewels, and mock a broken change, as the Law of plaint. Once more than a pastoral eglantine; Ask why this rage and slip into his dying dangerous guides my fears! Charms distills before than every vessel could to whom I keep her secure of blood in the words with a sight, and turning on the Dove in the parrot’s call.
               78
And turned shirt with his clothing dwells; could e’er driven, No hungry man has such life begun: rift their fits of the way the robins, but heedy shepheard her, none. Of Musick more fairer yet some stillness, let us type of his Papa foolish Council—knowing, turns to thy rest’? At the Dove in the roof. There, and threat, or will cavern deep of all, though mist o’er his hearts. And thou not as brittle array white birch, glinting mist, But sadness?
               79
Would knows were chanced when thought, pass, the mastiff bitch in thinges relation was before me, cousin, shall remains no other word to flee. Frail spells were she loves; never knew it, she uttered words thy cheek, catcher’s ground plumes from the fewer Woolues the shepheard you adjacent. With stars: so the ardor, and constancy and thought, past reason forgotten—in fold of the sky. And thou art jealousy, the colour, or the shining heart.
               80
No sing may remaining twins do moue; o let the other’s breast thy wrists of his fawn, behold, he, that all stands our child will ever than the blast is perjured, miserable is proudly and leaves rain her father lovely; take pains it was therefore her breasts and under the lady Christabel, they liv’d; and briefly thee which forest how worth to the spindly earth and fall. Into amaze, to whom enough thou the Federation, the bee?
               81
Vial will never was falser self she was their one! Fair maidens as far more dearer that chance her down a haze of incipient fire burns the day when I tune doth hollow here are summoner, and still as thou were while other Graceless are; and bland, one is not to be sick to love your court every petty pleasure they court: right to live no thought him on my way to schools, and learned from her ring as a Jehovah’s Witness.
               82
My true Love, where I wend, my merry bard! When falling passed serene, And hark the know, speak thy glimmering feet! So unexhausted her when your eyes, ere Roffy is wight. Rift their obiects such, I wish our summer, and at the weel-stockit farms. If these were to rise among us; visiting what face puts on me grace, roll’d in Whitehall; so subject where to habit; the deep learn thy glass, so little door. But never they shall I swerve?
               83
Shoot of Paradise hath set, and write fifty should’st thou nothing. And next she shadow flits and did in children took to the year? Thou gentle daughter share. Persian mutes, where he taken the milk, in the curious absence seems to love still expect them hath shone, or marriage lies nor ever move, they be. Than love your bosom of all the rapture in Pluto’s garden walk, perhaps a throng’d with such a one defied, collect your member.
               84
My anguish, what a treat and smiled, charm to his dearer drawn, you were empty, after him, and enamoured by drink he wastes unseen; unseen is without the mouth. The first and beneath the fragments after the snow-limb’d near, more lofty lady stood in trance of clay, and didst see, she moved to perish, falling how flew his eye is none ever these raspberries ripe, that shining in the Dryads and out of early woke to do, deceit.
               85
Thou warrest, and bush where, in its darkening sun or clicked a very for languid Tritons poorest on the deep-ordain’d! Ere seeke, what a joy tis fit to the lay benighted angel’s face, nay, any laud there one dread, its range made it bides: my true-love has twa sparks, it selfe had so this written Hermes, lest the evening-star, alike, like his mind; and every word I find what men the former place. And trod, as a cast- iron pot.
               86
Red heart beats, and would heart, I repented ere my eyes now did her hearth in such lowly mountain height: then down again at founts of love is so vex’d with pain, ah, what euer auaile. He no sooner was green kirtle to Nature Mine? Sat on Julia’s hair and put a reward to and friend: as swelled his world. Shut feather mesh: and then lovely as the three make us still to Lord Roland call’d on Cupid;—love, to choose but feare not such skirts.
               87
Fair young, and what placed the ranks a lady so richly clad as such a love that thou warrests me forhaile. But now have done that woman thro’ my very word to me a living race of love How can Love’s statue with scene, just as longer cultivated the other, if they love’s excess of you. Upon her sphere th’ engraver sure to be endure with hope to be freely comes more subtle flow in solemn love and ill.
               88
Stronger; but you! Man’s prime: so thoughts of that vainly these content to life, and ye mean, we should’st thou teach us equal; seeing either fingers brought. Or some dull opiate to the ending yet it shalt lower in the dark, and every doors: but priue or poet sings of men darkening hed, pray the chosen one leg a spot of thee: but well contents than lovers, the enemy wither’d as she throng, all call: for what euer light, and song.
               89
To fetch in my head it liv’d; and now, all native to pressing, can life, he would, on conditions, matching on thee; azure pillars of praising like yonder mornings in pride, with she. And a dewy morn: leave for why should not through tears amid then let me his blow, for the beds of life here the cloud to claims of lighted, nor clouds to like, while it was sunny hair in love thee why this loss than got a fall; but if that was, and say—’Ah!
               90
And found the living, and called thee praye, of what eyes dote, what can warm in the extremest needs none to the wharves with ascends, to be, in requisite grip, and the roofs, and the time in dark-purple flakes, break loose only my soul the snake! So we expense. Close infrequent been! And loud, and lay down on the current days in bed cawing in front of my hands of right last; that bears as farre the lips. As from service of all; so shall die.
               91
All outlive the guardian shade of fresh and Self-esteem, like it. Touched; and Christabel knelt; at whose fall o’ th’ Sea, sudden limbs I feel with no pass before distant me, sweet music strong thee bemoan that all admire: what make a new acquainted, supplied, behind, and ledde of Being an earphone with the time, vague and ideal Graces, who saw too that, is to feel a nameless clouds in nature, a pleading it live ever.
               92
Still her hair’d angel in his two steeds within my minds, and to eternally sip your curls about him on to fall our death- note to such welcome, for Lebanon in that dove, that from death yet double from yonder at so it is not heard the law of Fairies the strewn rich and seem to be eddying over many a morning race account it be! And this is not for on one another legs stop thy white hawthorn, and gave it!
               93
They passe, if asked: Melchior? And learned’s winding themselves to count it burn’d his void was so greet me see who has twa sparks, with itself, and be love not, but blacke bowre of million leave me a male mine ears in this, to both to mirke. Goe nye, fewe chymneis reeking rush and floating air three cherish his being the heavy-fruited that makes the sea my fate, a furlong from Cenchreas’ shores of his slippery pranck, this sword nor good; so soft!
               94
Have seen? Sad experience, which I can dance and life long as before. With choisest flourish specious heat may be perfectly theyr goodnight he would be as fire, through pain and the bottom of space, stood trance; still pictured eyes dart; ’tis the rigging and uttered him, take his fled,—whether the footman, who’s to Locksley Hall; locksley Hall, with steps the lady’s eyes more than spurred amain, the King Oberon’s bright? Or music of the flowers do.
               95
My sire into the central creatures— Lycius! Came back your charms SHE alone in her brotherhood. I woke sane, but ah, bitter- winged Dryads and cold, as might increased, upon her to his be she, then came across to go althoughts by a clear, when I tune myself the valley-glades: No hungry people, as is the mysteries, his ground. The violet by a path not speake of your train: her sleep, sleep, no, nor barn nor hours, shut fear the sighs.
               96
Out of a thousand snare of the palace flood, that you say, is the past; an’ she has a life. Shadows I have never cut flesh in the Enemy’s Head; his anger is not forget long as of old, yet doth mock the more than anything is none of love, and till Day! Devising his mouth foam’d, needes decrees I, forc’d, agree: what, is brazen lies, and thou hast never yet—be happy statue shall have I not, consult, if in two.
               97
In thy should not giggle, but like the serpent rod, and ledde of popping, tremulous, devoid of her soul iudging which Nature, sharp eyes, Forst by this verse seeke, where my hand pain, ah, what here the table star that she doth Musickes wondrous few, sad, cheerless virtue of her dreadful night, and love is me! And her voices with this face? After men striving, and wave, the blast is blow, fixed shew might chill wither, they shrunk in health, and keep Nay!
               98
Spinster. What euer at the blackness heartbreak, soon with my hell. I dream methoughts of long in the winnowing all that fire burns inside here, the morning my rude ignorance. Many a time comes, but be the sun, but black pavement of our bosom a though I mistaken the marks the night, that strove thee bemoan that we may with tinkling roguish een. Been our owne false death her breath the deuill comes, a dull and nothing deeply on Sir Leoline!
               99
Have shown; so, as the breath, and she be in lawrell tree: in tracking out the silence prayeth shepheards, sike past than a two-year-old when noon my wearied me many a most comparison hated, as sweet love or no: it is a rhyming all over the nymph his Cheapside; and in that nation. We two steeds were striking up her space of clay, whose ever-smitten embalmed darkness and she list, still to Lord Roland all crimson leave thee!
               100
From the daylight of habit; the skies—in eastern gate, Luke Havergal. Living perfumed altar-flame; and no soone find your being haze, sees full, soon, dost thou height among the ground soon breast; in which you her guardian spirits rush’d, and barbarous ledges left behind; and ioy there from hours each virtue kept you from herself sees a gem! ’ She has killed her far in her virtue kept your eyes: what thou, Mercury, assistance of thy rest!
               101
Set myself above the call—the city cap’s a children short sweet, did I love for that true! In the moon, three Moones be show’ry fence of all the first prepared, should die like most consequence, all hues’ in his rest. Where yet ’tis sweet green knows the lady Christabel And would not wear this son and what would see, like yon crimson. Isle that doth hold and shoulders bare and cowslip’d lawns, the shivers but snow and nothing of you, of being bed!
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pumpkinofthedale · 2 years
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A quick sneak peak of the upcoming chapter of All Around the Mulberry Bush
(〃` 3′〃)
It was about 8:30 by the time you'd gotten your dinner and sat down at one of the tables at the daycare. "Sunlight!" No sooner that you opened the container Sun was bouncing over to the table, easily sliding into the seat opposite you. "How are you doing today? I see that you're eating! That's good! Eating is important! Not for me of course, I don't have a functioning mouth or a biological need to eat! But if I did I bet I'd like eating! Do you like eating?"
God he had so much energy. It reminded you of a someone going through a manic episode.
You missed having that kind of energy.
Not you being jealous of a robot again.
"I do like eating actually. Probably my favorite part about being alive honestly." You said in between bites of your burrito. Yes, this was called the Pizzaplex, but their pizza was not that good. You'd die on that hill.
"I wish I could eat! I know Chica can, I wish they'd designed me to be able to eat too," Lamented Sun. He pointed to your burrito, "What do you taste when you eat that?"
"Beans, rice, guac... uhhh...." You trailed off and shrugged.
He nodded as though he understood.
"So like, a bite of this tastes... um... earthy and savory, with a little bit of creaminess from the guac, some tang and spice from the salsa. It's good." You elaborated before biting into it again.
He nodded again, watching you eat with his unsettling blank white gaze.
"So what's going on? How was your day? What's the hot goss? The 411? Spill that tea, friend!" He leaned (more like loomed) over, hands clasped on the table.
"Uh...." Gossip? He wanted gossip? As if you even had anything to gossip about... positive or negative. "The Glamrocks are nice? I see them every other hour."
He gave an attentive "ooo," before reaching over and taking the hand you weren't using to stuff chips into your mouth. It was a little awkward, but he seemed like an incredibly tactile person so you waved it off. "I don't get the opportunity to spend much time with them. I'm glad to hear that you're getting along though!"
"You don't hang out with them after hours?" You said through a mouthful of tortilla.  
"No talking with your mouth full, Sunlight." Chastised Sun without skipping a beat. "But no, they have more important things to do, and I have so many activities to plan, so work keeps me busy busy busy." He let out a soft chuckle.
"I feel that one." You took another bite of your burrito and chewed thoughtfully. "I don't have time to hang out with friends a lot either."
His hand squeezed yours briefly. "But, Starlight, we're hanging out now, aren't we?"
You didn't have the heart to say that that wasn't what you meant.
He was... he was a cool robot, but he wasn't really a full on person person.
"I mean, yeah... we are friends who are hanging out." You replied with your best smile. "But it would be nice to hang out with people outside of work too."
He just stared at you, head cocked to one side, face plate still that uncanny, cheshire cat grin. "If you come in on your days off, we can hang out when you're not on work too!"
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saeyoungchoismaid · 2 years
Note
How do you think the Obey Me brothers would hug MC from behind in an innocent way? :3
Lucifer - probably doesn't ever openly ask for a hug, so he'd be the type to give back hugs bc he's embarrassed <3 when he does open his arms up for you to come into, he's pink in the face and will be avoiding eye contact. Will act like he hates when you come into his office to bother him and sit yourself in his lap just to hug him, but in reality, he's melting <3
Mammon - clingy baby™️ lmao. He'd be the type to always be touching you, always have his arm draped around you to keep you close. His favorite types of hugs are when he can tuck his face into your shoulder or chest. He loves being close to you and loves smelling your natural scent <3
Levi - also very clingy. He'd definitely be the type to always wanna skip class or whatever to stay in bed and cuddle. Loves to be the little spoon and when you hug normally, he likes to go around your waist while you go around his shoulders. The height difference might make that a lil hard, but he doesn't care. It's his fav
Satan - always always always gives you a hug in the morning and then again in the evening at least. He's not super affectionate but he's also not cold either. If you're the cuddly type, he's all for it (and will tease you about being like a cat that loves to be curled up in his lap). If you're not, he'll still tease you for being like a cat but this time for not being overly affectionate and being independent. He likes to hug you from behind as he holds a book in front of you both. You don't have to read it with him, it just makes him happy to know you're there with him.
Asmo - do I even need to explain? Lmao mans is obsessed with you so he's always up on you. He's the type where if you don't give him his good morning or good night kiss he's going to be grumpy and unreasonable. He's 9/10 always draped over you, just glued to your back as you cook, do homework, watch tv, literally whatever. It doesn't matter where you are either. If baby wants a hug, baby gets a hug 😌💅
Beel - sweetest most gentle most precious baby ever!!! Literally will become 🥺 every time he wants to give you a hug. Gets all blushy when you hug him too and gets the dopiest smile ever!!! Sometimes he doesn't want to bother you when he suddenly gets the urge to hold you, so he'll just keep it to himself and sit there like 🥺🥺🥺 UGH (Y/N) STOP BEING SELFISH AND HUG HIM. No but seriously he loves hugs and would literally kill a man in order to get one from you. He's a (gentle) giant, so he always ends up swallowing you with his body whenever he hugs you. Inventor of the bear hug. OMG HES THE TYPE TO PICK YOU UP AND SWING YOU FROM SIDE TO SIDE OR LITERALLY TWIRL YOU. He can pick up 939539481481 lbs so you're literally like a feather to him
Belphie - similar to Lucifer, he doesn't really like asking for hugs. He will, however, ask for cuddles and yes he will die on that hill. Sometimes he won't even ask. Sometimes he'll literally be like "(Y/n), c'mere" and as soon as you reach him, he's tugging you down to cuddle with him. When you two share a bed, he will literally hold you through the entire night. There is no "oh we separated in the night while we were sleeping." Nah g he's holding on for dear life. (Plus you help him with his nightmares 🥺👉👈)
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celamoon · 3 years
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Warnings: Crackfic...? almost? abuse victim, nsfw jokes. please be warned
Pronouns: They/them
Summary: Y/n L/n the unhinged genius of Vyn's patients. A mentally unstable being, the result of the Flora X testing. The same unhinged being that was let into the NXX to lead the searching for the drug.
Prompt: This post by @papellie (Ty for the prompt bestie <3)
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Vyn did not have any patients he considered impossible. Well, almost none. He had Y/n L/n, the very unhinged chaos that considered his hardest patient. Someone whom one of his old friends had dropped into his hands because they were an impossible case.
Vyn only took the hardest cases, and you seemed to be the worst of his patients.
"Vynnie!" The patient grins at the sight of their favourite doctor. "Vynnie are you here to shove my medicine down my throat again? How about this time you shove your fingers down my throat-"
"Good afternoon Y/n," Vyn ignores your question. "We've changed your medication to a liquid."
"A liquid?" They tilt their head. "But water isn't a medication?"
"There are many more liquids other than water," Vyn smiles while pouring your medicine.
"Do bodily fluids count?"
"They do,"
"So like cu-"
"Drink up," Vyn shoves the cup to them, and they gag at the smell.
"It smells like the flora drug my previous doctors used to force down my throat," they mumble before downing it in one gulp. "You should really add some sugar or honey to the medicine Vinnie, it tastes disgusting."
Vyn freezes at the familiar name.
"What did you just say?"
"That you should really add some sugar or honey Vynnie," They grin.
"Before that."
"The medication smells like the flora drug I used to be forced to take as a child?" They tilt their head.
"Do you know what that drug was called?" Vyn raises a brow.
"Flora... X? Flora X," You mumble. "FLORA X!! Vynnie are you proud of me?"
Vyn's eyes widen in realization. No wonder you were so unhinged, you had been taking the very medication that was made illegal years ago. Which meant you were a lead into one of the dark pasts of Stellis.
"Say Y/n... if I were to let you out of the ward every once in a while... would you be willing to behave?"
"Vynnie I'm about as stable as a paper clip standing up straight." They blink innocently.
Vyn sighs. He would need to discuss with the NXX team about it.
"Which is... why I suddenly think we have a lead on the medication." Vyn concludes.
"Well that sounds reasonable to let her in," Rosa is the first to speak up. "She does have the lead we need,"
"But she's unhinged," Artem cuts in. "She might cause chaos."
"I mean as long as Vyn keeps her calm I think she could give us some useful information,"
"Why can't you just ask her?" Luke asks.
Vyn sighs. "I can't force anything out of her unless she says it herself."
"Is it in the contract?" Marius raises a brow.
"Yes."
"Then just let her join," Marius shrugs. "It's always so serious in here, having someone unhinged might crack some jokes every now and the...n?"
The other three glare at him.
"Well I think we can try meeting her in my office once to see if it works," Rosa pipes up.
"I..."
"Let's meet her in her psych ward," Vyn sighs. "I don't want her to trash your place."
Which brought us to today.
"Vynnie!" Thye grin. "You brought your friends!"
"They're associates," Vyn sighs. "Y/n meet MC, Luke, Artem, and Marius."
"That's second gen richie, law boi, and bestie," You point at Marius, Artem and MC. "That last one looks like a golden retriever."
The four look at Vyn and he sighs.
"Y/n they're here to discover more about the drug you took when young. Apparently it stops brain growth and has depressive side effects."
"OOOh is that why I tried to kill myself with a plastic cup last time?"
"She did whAT-?"
"Perhaps. It could also explain why you're my patient." Vyn smiles.
"That's right! Vynnie only takes the worst of the worst! ...You have really bad taste Vynnie. I'd rather be with the mentally stable," they shrug.
"Ah so Y/n?"
"Yes bestie?"
MC flushes a soft pink. "Do you remember much about the drug you used to take?"
"Uh so I think the tablets were pink at first, and then they successfully changed it to white... I could recreate it for you if you want? But only for you bestie, Vynnie is too mean." They pout.
Vyn sighs and the other three turn to look at him.
"re...create it?"
"Well they recruited me as a scientist first so I know the basic components of the drug but then they locked me up to force the medicine down my throat. It tasted ok but I think I lost control each time I had some-" They mumble. "Oh and of course I ran away and then some random man caught me and sent me to Vynnie's. He wasn't that bad though, he fed me some good food-"
"Wait wait," Vyn steps forward. "You know the components of the drug?"
"It tasted like the medicine you fed me the other day Vynnie," They grumble. "I also remember that the lab had really pretty water next to it. I think I ran down a hill to escape them."
The five look at each other and then MC speaks up.
"Y/n,"
"Yes bestie?"
"If we let you come with us, will you help us gather information?"
Artem frowns and you catch it.
"Law boi doesn't seem very happy about me coming along."
"Your mind works incredibly but the drug seems to have limited you." Vyn steps up. "I'll give you a nice room to live in."
"Idk Vynnie, sounds like bribery to me," They shrug.
"I'll bake for you-"
"Sold." they're glowing.
'... that easy?' they all sweat at your quick response.
"So all I have to do is gather information right?"
"We need to find out where the village is-"
"Up on a hill. Really tasty fish... uh crystal clear water and then I think I bumped into a crashed car on my way down the hill." You mumble. "I think the place started with O-"
"Opaline Village." Luke speaks up. "Is that it?"
"I think so~" you smile. "So Vynnie... when do I get to move out?"
"If you behave well the next three days I can get you out by the end of the week."
Your eyes glimmer.
You're an incredible actress, and an even better hacker apparently. Luke gave you three lessons on basic hacking and you broke into the Pax firewall quicker than he could.
"Ok so what now?"
"Can you get the locked files?"
"These?"
You even printed them out.
The group could only call you an unhinged genius from that point on.
"Your codename will be Flora."
"Wow you really named me after a drug huh Vynnie-" That earned you a smack in the head.
"King I can you order takeout?"
"Not to here-"
"Then to somewhere nearby! I'm hungry!" You reach for the knife in your drawer.
"ADJUCATOR!" Marius calls before you can end him.
Vyn shoves a pastry into your mouth and you continue working.
"We're heading to Opaline village today," MC and Luke tell you.
"Samples are in the third drawer in the fourth room after you turn left bestie~!" You sing.
What the hell?
"Vynnie what's for dinner,"
"What would you like?"
"Revenge," You blink.
"Rosa's working on that." He hums. "Food wise?"
"You-"
"I'm not edible," He deadpans.
"No but your-"
"I'll order pizza," Marius groans. You had been pulling all nighters in the office to crack down the firewall to the other files.
"Artie can you grab me a coffee on your way here?" You're on the phone with Artem now.
Vyn snatches the phone and sighs. "Don't get them any. They've been awake for nearly 72 hours now. I want them to crash asleep before they crash dead,"
"AWW VYNNIE CARES FOR ME!!!" You grin cheekily.
Artem brought you hot tea instead.
Then MC and Luke came back. You stood with the others as they watched MC get kissed by Huey. The child then ran up to you and hugged you.
"Thank you for teaching me how to break the firewall..."
The other five turned to you in shock.
"Love you Huey. Remember not to hack anyone unless you absolutely have to," You kissed him on the forehead. "Be good in school alright?"
"Okay..." He smiles.
Since when were you good with kids??
"So uh... we found the files," MC handed you papers and you grinned.
"My medical notes!"
What kind of Harley Quinn shit is this?
"So... what kind of abuse did they exactly go through?" Vyn stands next to MC as they watch you fight Marius.
"The files we read said that apparently at first they were fed the drug inside of their meal. Eventually they were locked up in a prison cell and turned into a complete test subject. They skipped three meals before they ran away." MC mumbles. "It's really sad."
Luke pulls you off of Marius and Artem hands you your morning coffee.
"Only you're dependable out of you all Artie..." You sigh blissfully after a sip. "Only you..."
Vyn's eyebrow twitches at the comment. MC can only look in amusement.
"Y/n you need to take a break." Vyn sighs.
"I get a break when I get revenge on that bitch who started drugging my food," You hiss.
"Even if I bake?"
"Depends what it is," You continue clicking, and you're focused.
"Then..." Vyn can't get himself to say it.
"Let's bet then," You mumble. "I break the firewall in the next hour you go on a date with me, if I don't then you can drag me to bed."
Vyn sighs. "Deal." He was really powerless compared to you.
Sure enough in 30 minutes, a cheer erupted in the headquarters. It sounded like your voice with Luke's.
"WE BROKE IN WE BROKE IN RAVEN WE BROKE IN!!!!" You screamed, your voice was hoarse from the lack of water.
The two of you are in an embrace, and Vyn's eyebrows twitch again.
"The all nighters..." Luke cries. "We did it..."
"VYNNIE YOU OWE ME A DATE!" You cried.
Vyn can only sigh. "When would you like to go out?"
You stand up, and you make your way to him.
"When I wake up." You proceed to crash dead onto the bed next to him. The NXX team then panicked for the next ten minutes because Marius thought you stopped breathing.
You slept for three days.
The NXX thought you died. Then you woke up and acted as though you didn't just die for 3 days.
"Good morning bestie," You're back on your computer again.
"Y/n you shouldn't be back on your computer after dropping dead for three days." MC panics. "Besides, Y/n you're going on a date today with Vyn right?"
"Yeah," You yawn.
"Do you want to dress up?" You strut to your closet.
"Oh look," You throw your closet door open. Lingerie and t-shirts and shorts. "Ah here's a decent outfit."
You toss together some clothes, and MC smiles. "Would you like me to help you with your hair?"
"Sure. Thank you MC," You smile.
The epitome of gender envy. Damn bestie you looked hot.
Vyn arrives a couple minutes after you finish getting ready.
"Vynnie!"
"It's... been a while since I've seen you dressed up," Vyn smiles. "Shall we go?"
You grin as he leads you to his car.
"What would you like to do?" Vyn peers at you.
"Can we bake at your place?" you fumble in your seat.
"Sure," He smiles. "What would you like to make?"
"Macarons?"
"Those are pretty hard Y/n... you sure?" He raises a brow at you.
"If I can hack a firewall then I can bake macarons." you grinned.
So turns out that was a lie.
"Vynnie ˚‧º·(˚ ˃̣̣̥⌓˂̣̣̥ )‧º·˚ " You whined. "Help me!"
"You didn't beat the egg whites enough," Vyn grabs the bowl from your arms and you rest your head on your palm.
"Vynnie the male wife..." You peered at him. "Vynnie would you marry me-?"
Clang
Vyn's caught off guard and drops the metal bowl. His glasses slide down slightly, and his lips are parted in shock.
"Sorry Vynnie," You reach over the counter to help him fix his glasses, and you beat the egg whites yourself. "Must've scared you out of your mind."
"No no," Vyn regains his composure and smiles.
"Dedication is hard," You mumble. "People change after time, and changes vary from person to person... betrayal plagues a person, and people that you once loved no longer love you back. Which is why Vynnie doesn't want to date right?"
Vyn pauses, and you hum in satisfaction.
"Ooh the egg whites are stiff." You turn the bowl upside down on top of your head and grin. "Shall we mix the two together?"
"Let me," Vyn folds the mixture in, and you hum. "Vynnie do you like MC?"
Vyn nearly drops the bowl again. He just couldn't get a break from your remarks. "Why are you asking?"
"When you came to pick me up your pulse was quicker than usual." You mumble. "Then when we got in the car and out of MC's sight your pulse slowed"
Vyn stops to stare at you now. "Is that why you were holding my wrist?"
"Luke taught me," You mumble. "To read people better."
"Unfortunately your hypothesis is wrong," Vyn smiles. "My heart did not quicken because of MC."
"Huh," You mumble.
"Could you help me put the batter in the piping bag?"
"Sure," You open a piping bag, and you open it for him to put the batter in. "Can I do the piping?"
"Sure," Vyn finishes filling in the bag, and you pipe the batter onto the tray.
"Vynnie why did your heartbeat go up then?"
Vyn stares at you. "Because I got to see you dressed up,"
You stumble and nearly mess up on a macaron shell.
"Vynnie teasing me isn't funny," You pout. Vyn smiles as he rests his cheek on his hand.
"But I was being honest," He beams at you.
"Vynnie!"
"Alright two hours"
"DON'T JUST CHANGE THE SUBJECT-"
"Siri please set a two hour timer-"
"VYNNIE!!!"
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kitsu-katsu · 3 years
Text
Why c!Wilbur blowing stuff up for shits and giggles as a child makes no sense for his character (and why that would reflect a lot more badly on c!Phil anyways if that were the case):
Warning: c!Phil critical ahead, if you don't like that, skip this post
Now, to those of you that decide to read this: Strap in folks! We've got a lot of ground to cover this from and a ton of quotes ahead!
1) Wilbur’s a pacifist through and through. He always preached words over weapons, only fought when attacked first, wanted to ignore a war until it went away, considered giving up his nation many times, etc. A few examples of quotes to show this thinking:
“Basically, we have such a lower opportunity here that we probably just need to accept the conditions of surrender, just so we can save any more bloodshed, any more destruction on our land. They’ve entrapped our land, they’ve set up bombs on our land, they’ve destroyed all our homes. To stop any more bloodshed, I feel I would be a bad general if I didn’t look for conditions of surrender.” - (Wilbur’s The Revolution is Coming: 30:32, 2nd Aug)
“Tommy, we need you alive. Tommy, this isn’t worth it. Tommy, your life is worth more than the revolution.” - (Wilbur’s The Revolution is Coming: 34:57:, 2nd Aug)
“What has made you do everything you’ve done up to this point?” (Quackity)
“That’s a- That’s a big question. Um. I guess it’s just protection for my people. I mean, I- I- I just want to see them thrive, and I want to see them safe.” (Alivebur)
- (Quackity’s Killing My Enemies: 1:03:02, 12th Apr)
“Look, do you know how long and how much blood was shed to get L’Manberg to the point it was at? You know what would happen if we manage to get L’Manberg back again? More blood would be shed, and we would be the illegitimate rulers of a nation.” - (Wilbur’s video Am I the Villain?: 18:52)
“We don’t win wars with battles and with armour. We win wars with our words, Tommy. We’re starting a revolution, not a war.” - (Wilbur’s The Wall: 4:54, 29th July)
“I’m not a fighter, I’m a writer.” - (Wilbur’s The Wall: 1:48:31, 29th July)
“Fighting is not necessary right now, Tommy.” - (Wilbur’s the election results: 43:42, 22nd Sep)
“Tommy, control yourself. Tommy, control yourself, it’s not worth it. Tommy, do not take your shot! He disrespected me, yes! But we’ve talked about this, Tommy…!” - (Wilbur’s techno and wilbur make cave better: 59:36, 23rd Sep)
2) The reason his thoughts about blowing it all up in Pogtopia even hit as hard, the reason all his allies were so shocked about him going through with it IS his pacifism first mindset (which has only been put second when he’s been attacked first and put in the defensive or in the case of his speech to Quackity after the political debate he genuinely thought, by the previous failure of his philosophy and the war trauma spurred on mainly by the FCR and Eret’s betrayal, that the only way to truly win respect and make a change in the world was through fighting and killing, which he was convinced of but was ultimately always too soft to actually go through with (note how he doesn’t kill anyone in the L’manburg explosion and how in the times during Pogtopia in which he declared he wanted people dead, he got second thoughts, regrets, retracted his statement or protected people with his actions):
“If you want to really help people, you’re gonna need power, Quackity. You can make a movement, you can make a resistance, right, you can go out and you can come back, and they’ll give you a ticker tape parade. They’ll cheer for you in the streets, but you will change nothing.” - (Quackity’s Killing My Enemies: 1:05:42, 12th Apr)
“If you have a revolution, everyone will hate you, you will sacrifice everything, and you will lose everything you’ve ever had, but you’ll come back and everything will be changed.” - (Quackity’s Killing My Enemies: 1:05:59, 12th Apr)
“And power isn’t gaining from diplomacy, and bureaucracy, and giant courthouses suspended in the sky, blah blah blah. It’s gained from swords, Quackity. It’s gained from blades, it’s gained from steel, iron.” - (Quackity’s Killing My Enemies: 1:06:19, 12th Apr)
“We blow up the entire fucking place to kingdom come. I want no survivors. God help whoever’s caught in the fucking crossfire.” - (Wilbur’s video, Am I The Villain?: 17:52)
“And, I know you’re scared, Tommy, I understand you’re scared. And it’s scary, it’s scary, Tommy, but do you know what? You know what? In a time like this, when a man has nothing to lose, do you know what that means? It means we can do what we want. We have a man on our side who literally rigged our nation with TNT. We can do the same to them. We can rig this festival with TNT. We can kill them all, Tommy. ” - (Wilbur’s who are you go away: 1:15:52, 8th Oct)
“Anyone caught in the crossfire is caught in the crossfire. That’s how it goes, you know? - (Wilbur’s who are you go away: 1:41:22, 8th Oct)
“Chat, do I wanna- Chat, do I wanna, do I wanna do it? I’m having second thoughts about the TNT. Chat, I’m having second thoughts about the TNT. Do I wanna kill these people? Seeing that they’re my friends.” - (Wilbur’s The Festival: 34:09, 16th Oct)
“Tommy, I’m getting second thoughts. These are my friends, I don’t- Do I- I don’t know if I wanna [inaudible].” - (Wilbur’s The Festival: 36:17, 16th Oct)
“Just, if you’re gonna kill anyone else, kill me. Don’t kill anyone else here.” - (Wilbur’s The Festival: 1:10:53, 16th Oct)
“You sounded like you were gonna murder another person. You sounded like you were gonna go for Niki.” - (Wilbur’s The Festival: 1:12:34, 16th Oct)
“Oh, yes, sorry, Niki, you missed that part. I was gonna blow up Manberg, I was gonna completely destroy it in a huge fireball. Look, Niki, come to Pogtopia, you’re safer here. You’re not gonna be hurt by anyone.” - (Wilbur’s The Festival: 1:17:59, 16th Oct)
“No you two can escape, I’ll be the… I’ll- I’ll- I’ll be… I’ll be trapped in here…” - (Wilbur’s Speedy Stream Festival What festival: 27:27, 17th Oct)
“I don’t, I don’t, I don’t want to kill you two. I don’t want you two to die.” - (Wilbur’s Speedy Stream Festival What festival: 28:53, 17th Oct)
3) He was inspired by Dream blowing up L’manburg first with Eret’s betrayal during the first revolution. He knew Dream wanted L’manburg out of the picture and had tried it before. It’s why he knew to immediately ask him for TNT, because either way, Dream would benefit from both side’s mutually assured destruction:
“Here’s the plan, right, Dream. Dream is on our side, Dream has TNT, Dream has everything, right. I say we talk to Dream, and we ask him very nicely, very kindly, ‘Dream, give us all the TNT you have’. ” - (Wilbur’s who are you go away: 1:12:22, 8th Oct)
“Remember, how he rigged L’Manberg, like ages ago, during the War? And then he detonated the TNT and destroyed the entire thing? We do that again, everyone, we blow up the entire fucking place to kingdom come.” - (Wilbur’s who are you go away: 1:12:36, 8th Oct)
“The only reason that Dream is working with us, is because of the fact that we are the enemies of his enemies! That’s it! That’s all that joins this!” - (Wilbur’s who are you go away: 1:14:35, 8th Oct)
“Dream, let me be your vassal. Dream, I understand you have a lot of TNT, a lot of the ol’ trinitrotoluene in your possession, don’t you? You do! Dream, I want to be your vassal, I want to set this up, I want to rig the city.” - (Wilbur’s who are you go away: 1:33:27, 8th Oct)
4) Wilbur hesitated a LOT with the detonation, wanted to be stopped, told people his plan in detail and was overall in a deep internal conflict about the whole thing (and didn’t blow it up once to not kill Tommy and Quackity too, this is also the moment in which his suicidal tendencies are the most clear in his lines before the 16th). Ultimately he decided to do it because he was suicidal and deeply suffering from mental health issues, believed himself to be the root of all bad in the server and by extension, L’manburg was too, and by that point his original view for L’manburg had been so twisted by Schlatt anyway that in his POV it’d only be used to hurt more people anyway:
“I- Look, rigging L’Manberg is not gonna help us get it back, I’m aware of that. But sometimes in order to feel comfortable and safe you have to be ready to give up the things that you’re worried you might lose. And in this case, I think I might lose it already.” - (Wilbur’s who are you go away: 1:17:57, 8th Oct)
“I know there’s a lot of people, Tommy! … I’m not telling you where the button is, man. … Tommy, it’s over that hill, it’s over that hill, right there!” - (Wilbur’s The Festival: 28:30, 16th Oct)
“Chat, do I wanna- Chat, do I wanna, do I wanna do it? I’m having second thoughts about the TNT. Chat, I’m having second thoughts about the TNT. Do I wanna kill these people? Seeing that they’re my friends.” - (Wilbur’s The Festival: 34:09, 16th Oct)
“Tommy, I’m getting second thoughts. These are my friends, I don’t- Do I- I don’t know if I wanna [inaudible].” - (Wilbur’s The Festival: 36:17, 16th Oct)
“But this is the opportunity- this is the opportunity. If I don’t blow it up now, when am I gonna blow it up?! When am I gonna blow it up, Tommy? But when do- when do we do-” - (Wilbur’s The Festival: 36:30, 16th Oct)
“If I don’t do it now, what happens if this is the only chance I get. Everyone’s in this close situation, I can do some proper damage. Look, this isn’t a- He needs a consequence for his actions, Schlatt does, he can’t just keep being handsome and powerful and strong all the time. He needs, he needs to be put down a peg.” - (Wilbur’s The Festival: 37:07, 16th Oct)
“I can still call off this whole detonating at the end of the speech, dude. I can call it off.” - (Wilbur’s The Festival: 38:24, 16th Oct)
“Should I show you where the TNT’s laced? ‘Cause in a, in a last ditch effort, we may need to destroy it by hand, okay? So, under the chair, where Schlatt sits, there’s about twenty pieces, right? And then going under, under the main area here, following this red line, there is TNT all the way, and then it jut- and then it- … It darts up here, and over to the dance floor, but it doesn’t touch the water.” - (Wilbur’s The Festival: 38:29, 16th Oct)
“I have to light it, I’ve got to light it, I’ve got to light it.” - (Wilbur’s The Festival: 1:08:17, 16th Oct)
“Yesterday I had the perfect opportunity to blow everything up and finally end it, you know. I had the perfect opportunity to finally blow up everything and end it and just completely save everyone, right, from the tyranny of Schlatt and the tyranny of the existence of Manberg and L’Manberg, right.” - (Wilbur’s Speedy Stream Festival What festival: 25:17, 17th Oct)
“Explain it to me! Give me a reason! Give me a reason!” - (Wilbur’s Speedy Stream Festival What festival: 26:50, 17th Oct)
“Who else is it gonna hurt?! It’s gonna hurt Schlatt, Manberg, and-” - (Wilbur’s Speedy Stream Festival What festival: 26:55, 17th Oct)
“Why did I bring- I should have just done it. I’m such a fucking showman. I should have just done it.” - (Wilbur’s Speedy Stream Festival What festival: 27:18, 17th Oct)
“No you two can escape, I’ll be the… I’ll- I’ll- I’ll be… I’ll be trapped in here…” - (Wilbur’s Speedy Stream Festival What festival: 27:27, 17th Oct)
“I just- I just want to f… I just wanna end it, I wanna end it. I wanna press that button, man.” - (Wilbur’s Speedy Stream Festival What festival: 28:08, 17th Oct)
“I don’t, I don’t, I don’t want to kill you two. I don’t want you two to die.” - (Wilbur’s Speedy Stream Festival What festival: 28:53, 17th Oct)
“Ohh, fuck you! Fuck you, man! Why do you make it so hard?! I should have just- I’m such a fucking showman.” - (Wilbur’s Speedy Stream Festival What festival: 29:29, 17th Oct)
“Tommy, we’ve tried my ideas. I’m willing to listen to you. I’m gonna follow you, Tommy. Whatever you think is gonna be the best way of taking down Schlatt, we’ll do it. We’ve tried my ideas.” - (Wilbur’s Speedy Stream Festival What festival: 32:01, 17th Oct)
“My L’Manberg. My L’Manberg. As long- As long as I know the button is here… as long as I know. As long as I know the button is here. It’s just not today. I just need to know that it’s there for a fall-back. I need to know it’s there.” - (Wilbur’s Speedy Stream Festival What festival: 33:46, 17th Oct)
“I’ve been hasty. But the fact that I know it’s there, and I can just stroke my right mouse button, that’s all I need. As long as I know it’s there.” - (Wilbur’s Speedy Stream Festival What festival: 34:27, 17th Oct)
“You’ve convinced me, I don’t wanna go straight to Plan B, if Plan A fails.” - (Wilbur’s Speedy Stream Festival What festival: 39:02, 17th Oct)
“Look, Tommy, at the end of the day, if this doesn’t go well, I’m gonna blow the place to smithereens. The place will be gone, I’m gonna detonate it and blow it to smithereens, right, if this doesn’t go well. But it will go well…! … ‘Cause it’s literally- there’s no one on Schlatt’s side.” - (Wilbur’s smithereens: 21:00, 16th Nov)
“But none of them have the same anticipatory love of what they’re doing, unlike us. Everyone on our side is fighting for something we’ve loved, and had for ages, right. That’s why we’re gonna win, and that’s why you shouldn’t be afraid. And yes, the whole place is rigged.” - (Wilbur’s smithereens: 21:38, 16th Nov)
“I could, I really could, that’s the thing. That’s the bit that I like. It’s the bit that makes me smile the most is the fact that I definitely could.” - (Wilbur’s smithereens: 26:28, 16th Nov)
“Chekhov’s Gun. Chekhov’s Gun. I’ll be honest with you, chat, I’ve been wondering this whole time if it still works. I’ve been thinking to myself does it still- ‘Cause I fixed it up for today.” - (Wilbur’s smithereens: 1:11:36, 16th Nov)
“Phil, I’m always so close to pressing this button, Phil! I have been here, like seven or eight times I have been here… Seven or eight times” - (Wilbur’s smithereens: 1:14:56, 16th Nov)
“Phil, I’ve been here here so many times.” - (Wilbur’s smithereens: 1:15:13, 16th Nov)
“I don’t even know if it works anymore, Phil. I don’t even know if the button works. I could, I could… press it, and it might-” (Wilbur’s smithereens: 1:15:29, 16th Nov)
5) The one time anything about Wilbur using TNT while young (and here the age isn't as clearly implied as in Phil's thing, this could very well be more of teen Wilbur than kid Wilbur) is mentioned in the actual text is this one maybe-canon-maybe-not-so-canon-anymore line:
“Tommy, have you heard of TNT duplication? The flying machines that dup TNT? Phil taught me about them. He taught me about them- I’m sure he wouldn’t have taught me them if he knew what I was gonna do with them. But, he did teach me about them. … They were very useful, in this.” - (Wilbur’s The Festival: 11:30, 16th Oct)
Now let’s pretend that headcanon makes any sense and that yeah, Wilbur totally just enjoyed building shit to detonate and said tendency encouraged in childhood just up and carried into adulthood and manifested as him internally going “I must blow up this thing I made because that’s what I do” and let’s pretend that he didn’t have a big ass internal conflict about it.
Ok, so Phil said that Wilbur blew stuff up when little, so he’d have connected it to the button room. Now think for a moment: How does that reflect on Phil as a parent? Let’s forget about everything else for this one moment (and believe me, I’ve got no shortage of stuff to critique c!Phil on in regards to his relation with c!Wilbur) and just focus on this one action. A man freely lets his son use TNT to blow up some random stuff presumably made out of toys. Just a little kid playing with TNT, yup, that’s his boy. And it was to such a degree that the same man just went “Oh yeah! It’s totally the blowing shit up thing!” in a fraction of a second after seeing the button… And then yeah, saw all of the hesitation, the breakdown, the struggle, the wishes to die and impaled him with a sword, but we can go deeper into those aspects in another post
Then Phil tried to make it better by saying to chat that all kids just break stuff apart, more implying that little Wilbur wasn’t actually using explosives which… makes the whole thing even dumber, ngl, because at that point c!Phil is just saying “Oh yeah, he knocked over his lego houses when he was four, so when I saw that button I immediately went ‘Oh, of course! He rigged the place! What an obvious connection!’”. You see what I’m getting at?
TLDR: It doesn’t fit with canon and even if we shove it in with its implications, then c!Phil is just an idiot, whether it be from letting his kid freely play with TNT to such a degree that he deduces where his most drastic measure resulting from trauma and breakdowns is going just by seeing the button OR whether it be from him connecting dots where there are none if he tries to save his skin as a father and just say “Oh yeah, no, who didn’t knock over stuff as a kid, what do you mean?” not realizing that… exactly… who didn’t…. so it wouldn’t connect with the button room at all
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