— 𝐀𝐋𝐁𝐄𝐃𝐎 𝐆𝐄𝐍𝐄𝐑𝐀𝐋 𝐃𝐀𝐓𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐇𝐄𝐀𝐃𝐂𝐀𝐍𝐎𝐍𝐒
albedo's a guy who's hard to read. he's not super expressive—most of the time, at least. you see the most of his facial expressions.
he occasionally smirks from time to time, adding a teasing remark. and that's his way of flirting with you.
it's subtle, but it worked. (obviously—you had to get together somehow.)
but, it wasn't from the very first meeting. a lot of time and trust had to be passed before his first bit of flirting.
speaking of which—that's his love language. he loves spending time with you. there don't have to be any words, any touches... just you there with him.
whether that's him painting you (who's trying to resist laughter and movement), having you help him with his experiments, or simply sitting together and eating lunch... he likes being with you.
this should also be a given—you babysit klee. all the time. preventing her from causing explosions everywhere she goes, for one—but also just playing with her. you guys play dress-up a lot!!
albedo may occasionally watch you guys in silence. he finds it cute how well you guys bond :)
but also, speaking of dress-up... you and klee have probably messed with him while he's asleep.
stickers on his face, drawing mustaches, and giving him a rudolph nose have all been done before.
(you did take a picture after just the stickers were put on his face. he looked adorable, you couldn't help it.)
he woke up, and was smart enough to realize what both your giggling meant—but, he went along with it. until you guys (subtly) showed him what he looked like in a mirror, he played dumb with a confused smile on his face.
"hm? is something wrong?"
"pfft—mr. albedo just has a funny sleeping face!!"
"that's right! he wakes up so funny."
"oh, is that so? all this time, i thought i slept expressionlessly."
"not at all!"
"is it really that funny? should i do something about it?"
"no!! don't do anything!"
"i don't think experimentation will help with this..."
on other notes, you're constantly up in dragonspine with him. sucrose and timaeus now see you on a regular basis, and they ask you for help with things.
you usually end up staying pretty late. nights in dragonspine are cold, so he helps you warm up while he finishes his work so you guys can go home.
you have unintentionally taken 10 blankets home because you kept them wrapped around you as you returned home. oopsie?
playing with his hair is so relaxing. it's so fluffy when it's loose!! speaking of which—you're the one that does his hair every day. the braid doesn't braid itself...
klee might add a few random braids to the front when she's bored. she likes it, so albedo is content. she then braids the braids. then braids the braids of braids.
it's such a funny image—albedo's completely unbothered by it all. he's probably just letting it happen while he's filling out a few reports, or something.
he pulls tiny pranks on you. they're so tiny, that no one would know they're pranks other than you—it's his form of an inside joke.
he paints with you a lot. no matter your talent level, it's a really comforting experience. most of the time, you sit in silence and paint your subject, occasionally glancing at each other and smiling.
the rest of the time, you smear paint on albedo's face. he's now got whiskers and a nose, and you've got polka dots scattered on your cheeks.
"look, you're so cute now!"
"are you implying that i wasn't before?"
"no, that's not it... you're just a cat, now."
"don't you mean: you're just a cat, meow?"
"hilarious."
"i do try."
he's a great listener. if he hears you mention a place, you better believe that he'll take you there.
albedo's kisses tend to be short and sweet. he's got things to do and places to be, but not before giving you a small peck on the cheek.
he likes to kiss your nose. he thinks it's funny.
he does that thing where he grabs your waist to move you. instant butterflies, but he's so chill about it!!
it's almost annoying how chill he can be about it. why can't he feel nervous or get butterflies, too??
notes. it is nice to be back (i have no motivation to write) BUT i am determined to get back into it so PLEASE PLEASE when i reopen requests send me something (preferably not assclass but... if you want it then okay)
ANYWAYS take this as an apology it's been a while since i've thought much about albedo
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thinking about how Humans Are Space Orcs stories always talk about how indestructible humans are, our endurance, our ability to withstand common poisons, etc. and thats all well and good, its really fun to read, but it gets repetitive after a while because we aren't all like that.
And that got me thinking about why this trope is so common in the first place, and the conclusion I came to is actually kind of obvious if you think about it. Not everyone is allowed to go into space. This is true now, with the number of physical restrictions placed on astronauts (including height limits), but I imagine it's just as strict in some imaginary future where humans are first coming into contact with alien species. Because in that case there will definitely be military personnel alongside any possible diplomatic parties.
And I imagine that all interactions aliens have ever had up until this point have been with trained personnel. Even basic military troops conform to this standard, to some degree. So aliens meet us and they're shocked and horrified to discover that we have no obvious weaknesses, we're all either crazy smart or crazy strong (still always a little crazy, academia and war will do that to you), and not only that but we like, literally all the same height so there's no way to tell any of us apart.
And Humans Are Death Worlders stories spread throughout the galaxy. Years or decades or centuries of interspecies suspicion and hostilities preventing any alien from setting foot/claw/limb/appendage/etc. on Earth until slowly more beings are allowed to come through. And not just diplomats who keep to government buildings, but tourists. Exchange students. Temporary visitors granted permission to go wherever they please, so they go out in search of 'real terran culture' and what do they find?
Humans with innate heart defects that prevent them from drinking caffeine. Humans with chronic pain and chronic fatigue who lack the boundless endurance humans are supposedly famous for. Humans too tall or too short or too fat to be allowed into space. Humans who are so scared of the world they need to take pills just to function. Humans with IBS who can't stand spicy foods, capsaicin really is poison to them. Lactose intolerance and celiac disease, my god all the autoimmune disorders out there, humans who struggle to function because their own bodies fight them. Humans who bruise easily and take too long to heal. Humans who sustained one too many concussions and now struggle to talk and read and write. Humans who've had strokes. Humans who were born unable to talk or hear or speak, and humans who through some accident lost that ability later.
Aliens visit Earth, and do you know what they find? Humanity, in all its wholeness.
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