#i felt so understood everytime I read an interview with him | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

toisiit · 2 years

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Ok, I'm truly sorry for this, but I guess I might be one of the last ones to ask you a question regarding "intoxicating". I know just what amount of pain and harassment you were subjected to and how it forced you to leave tumblr. So it is completely justified if you don't feel like answering this one question. But it has been bugging me after reading one of your latest answers regarding athy and Claude being victims of different kinds. My question would be -does athy not feel extremely humiliated? Does she not feel madly angry and completely hurt/mistreated just like Claude. Because she's a human being and even though victims of this kind are often deeply attached to their abuser, so much so that they tend to return every time they leave, they all feel really really angry towards their abuser. Like we note that pattern in this story too. The pattern where she feels angry and sad and doubtful everytime and she leaves, then she again returns but the anger, doubt and pain don't leave her, they are still there. Same happens with the victims and slowly it keeps on building. After reading most of the articles, interviews and reports I realized that these victims keep on getting more aware as time passes and as they go and return to their abuser every time, the awareness doesn't stop being there or abandon them, their awareness, doubt pain and anger keep on growing . And like u pointed out in one of your lines that as she grew older her sexual interactions with her showed how much more depressed and reluctant she was, it was a sign that the knowledge of the entire thing was slowly eating her away. And could it be that after seeing Jennette, her general life, and interactions that she might have felt more furious that her life wasn't as normal and healthy as Jennette's? Like sure she again got manipulated by Claude that she is more loved than Jennette and she again gave into the spell that what she is doing is fine, but even after that she had interacted a lot with Jennette, could it be that just like she had slowly understood that what she was doing was wrong from the age of thirteen onwards, that Claude doesn't actually love her(even though she wants to force herself into believing that he does, the anti-thesis is also present strongly there in her) the realization that Jennette actually had the more normal, healthy life got hammered into her head despite Claude's assurances. And just like the other two or three times, this time too she tried yet could not keep those realizations and doubts at bay, that slowly she had to accept it? And "intoxicating"'s athy seems to be having the same potential for pride, coldness, anger, violence as Claude. Would she never feel betrayed by Claude? Will the potential for extremely hurt pride and betrayal never be converted to kinetic? Lol. I loved almost all of the realistic depictions of incest abuse except that one part where u pointed out that you strayed, yea. So in one of your answered asks you disclosed the ending of the plot and there we get to know that due to the treachery of either rosalia or Claude, athy is suspected and she actually decides to die. I just wonder that even though she opted for death rather than going back to her life, would she have felt angry and betrayed in the last moments of her death that her life is ending the way it is- she is the miserable first princess, she has been used as a whore by her only parent, the person she had been jealous of is receiving decent treatment from the parent from whom she had desired that type of treatment. Will she not feel horrible?

And do happen to read the manga recently?

In season 1 itself we get to know that Anastasius isn't dead and in lp timeline when Claude doubles down in pain, calling for Jeannette, anastacius appears and smirks down at him. And also in the recent chapters of season 3 that Diana was always there!

So if that happens here then that would be such karma. Like u said in tw that "life hits back at them and rightfully so"

So it just occurred to me that it would be such karma for Claude if he just realizes when he is at his weakest that his abuser has returned and he can do nothing, in the manga image we see Claude being in a prostrate position and anas standing and laughing down at him in contempt, almost like he is transported back to his worst position/nightmare. And that would be similar to what athy felt, her abuser not being avenged and in more power than her and her feeling powerless. He gets to be in the same position. And also realizing that not the the person who abused and hurt him the most is alive and in power but also the child of the two people who hurt him the most is the beloved princess and pampered, while his own child just lived her life like an whore and a beggered, condemned bastard, nothing better than how he and his mother were treated under his father and brother.

And also it could be that like in the manga here too diana was there and saw everything, how he treated her daughter like a whore and she loathed him which is why she never appears to him out of loathing rather he just hallucinate's her like u said in one of your asks, but she stays behind for her daughter. So when athy dies wrongfully after suffering a life of abuse and humiliation of the worst kind, I can only imagine a Diana who is seething with fury and wants to do to Claude what you said in your post that Claude wanted to do to anas(torture and all that). So she waits for him in the afterlife, oh wait lily is there too....

I just want to state all my questions here because I don't want to ask again and make u talk repeatedly about something that might be hurtful to you. And dming someone feels like invading their private space, I'ma stranger after all, it's wrong. So I will just tag all the other questions that arose when I read the fix

Did Claude think of athy as anything more than a whore, like anything more than an object for his pleasure, an object for venting and using? Ever?

Has he ever wanted or longed to be her father? Has he ever wanted to be a parent before and after athy?

Will he ever feel horrified when he reflects back on his actions on athy after her death? Like thinking back about how she lived and died? How he never treated her like a human.

I'm really really sorry about the awfully protracted ask. I hope you can forgive me for this harassment. But I would love your answer. And also remember that you are a very talented writer for making people feel so much through your writing no matter what anyone says. 💝💝💝. You deserve better.

bruh don't feel sorry i love writing mini-essays that are literal mind dumps AHAHA I think I've gotten over the toxicity for the most part, so talking about it kinda helps in a way? don't worry bestie I'll answer your questions ehehe and OMG YOU WROTE A WHOLE ASS PARAGRAPH I LOVE YOU SM I'M SO EXCITED TO ANSWER BRUH <33333

it has been bugging me after reading one of your latest answers regarding athy and Claude being victims of different kinds. My question would be -does athy not feel extremely humiliated? Does she not feel madly angry and completely hurt/mistreated just like Claude.

SO!! i think the difference between why athy and claude took different turns in how they felt after being hurt/mistreated by someone they trusted is due to their actual character traits. i portrayed claude as prideful from the very beginning (i'll be honest i don't remember how i portrayed him in cripple, but i know that i wanted him to be very prideful especially after what anastasius did to him), which kinda plays into how he is in the manhwa and how i characterise him in all of my other books :)) athanasia, on the other hand, doesn't have the same strong, debilitating pride as claude (well, he's a bit much lol i imagine him as someone so prideful that he is willing to start wars over petty misdemeanours, which lightly pays homage to manhwa style). she is much calmer, much smaller, much more likely to bottle up her emotions until she breaks and deal with abuse in the name of love etc. she a hundred percent would feel humiliated, but she wouldn't be able to take it out as violently and strongly as claude did because due to their different characterisations and core traits, they behave differently when put in the same situation. she just doesn't show her humiliation as much as she's more focused on either getting as far away from claude as possible or craving his love so much that thinking of anything else seems futile.

Because she's a human being and even though victims of this kind are often deeply attached to their abuser, so much so that they tend to return every time they leave, they all feel really really angry towards their abuser. Like we note that pattern in this story too. The pattern where she feels angry and sad and doubtful everytime and she leaves, then she again returns but the anger, doubt and pain don't leave her, they are still there. Same happens with the victims and slowly it keeps on building. After reading most of the articles, interviews and reports I realized that these victims keep on getting more aware as time passes and as they go and return to their abuser every time, the awareness doesn't stop being there or abandon them, their awareness, doubt pain and anger keep on growing .

yeah, she was definitely attached to her abuser even if she didn't want to. in 'intoxicating', athanasia's awareness, doubt, pain and anger constantly increase every time that she comes back as she is forced to realise that she is 'weak' (her subjective pov as she sees herself as weak for coming back even when she knows that it is wrong) and she undoubtedly would hate that, but wouldn't necessarily take it out as obviously as claude. to be honest, i never really thought of painting her as humiliated per se, as i didn't really think of ever seeing her escape the cycle and being able to reach peak awareness (i don't know if you saw that one post i think i did talking about the ending, but if i'm a liar and there's no ending written out, basically the plan was for athanasia to take the fall for poisoning jennette and when claude tries to save her, she chooses to die rather than be by his side as his empress).

she breaks out of it, sure, when she chooses to die dishonourably rather than stay with him, but she never gets to experience a life without him. if she had survived and had the opportunity to grow whether it be through marrying into another royal family or whatever the fuck it takes to get her out of there, then i promise you she would have felt humiliated because she would have had the chance to escape him and better herself, fall in love with herself etc and realise that honestly, it wasn't her fault. the fault lied with claude etc etc etc so long story short, whilst she didn't feel humiliated yet in 'intoxicating', she would have if she survived. sorry i ramble lol

And like u pointed out in one of your lines that as she grew older her sexual interactions with her showed how much more depressed and reluctant she was, it was a sign that the knowledge of the entire thing was slowly eating her away.

exactly !! in the beginning, she didn't really have the knowledge that what they were doing was wrong, that she was a victim, but as she grew older and actually learnt, she was forced to realise the severity of the situation and withdrew in order to protect herself. when she falls back into the cycle, she is undoubtedly tormented by the knowledge that she could have saved herself from this, that she could have resisted even if only for a little longer. you actually worded it perfectly in your question - "the knowledge of it was slowly eating her away". wow bruh you should be writing my books for me

And could it be that after seeing Jennette, her general life, and interactions that she might have felt more furious that her life wasn't as normal and healthy as Jennette's? Like sure she again got manipulated by Claude that she is more loved than Jennette and she again gave into the spell that what she is doing is fine, but even after that she had interacted a lot with Jennette, could it be that just like she had slowly understood that what she was doing was wrong from the age of thirteen onwards, that Claude doesn't actually love her(even though she wants to force herself into believing that he does, the anti-thesis is also present strongly there in her) the realization that Jennette actually had the more normal, healthy life got hammered into her head despite Claude's assurances. And just like the other two or three times, this time too she tried yet could not keep those realizations and doubts at bay, that slowly she had to accept it.

OH BRUH I'M SO EXCITED TO TALK ABOUT THIS OMG jennette's life is literally all that athanasia ever wanted. jennette is loved purely, jennette is treated as she should be, jennette has everything that athanasia should have been given but has received none of. even if half of it is a lie, claude still loves her as a father. claude loves her in such a pure way that athanasia knows that she will never experience, and that eats her apart to the point where she tries to convince herself that she is fine with the crumbs of sexual attention he gives her. athanasia is obviously plagued by jealousy but doesn't have the confidence to show off the little that she does have (i.e. the time that jennette tried to enter the room while athy and claude were sleeping together, and the sick satisfaction that athy feels when jennette is turned away). you described it perfectly - athy realises that claude doesn't actually love her, and that jennette has the healthy life that she so desperately craves even though claude tries to assure her that what she has, what they have, is so much better.

athanasia knows that what happens to her is wrong, she takes note of the injustices done to her.

she just accepts them.

And "intoxicating"'s athy seems to be having the same potential for pride, coldness, anger, violence as Claude. Would she never feel betrayed by Claude? Will the potential for extremely hurt pride and betrayal never be converted to kinetic? Lol. I loved almost all of the realistic depictions of incest abuse except that one part where u pointed out that you strayed, yea. So in one of your answered asks you disclosed the ending of the plot and there we get to know that due to the treachery of either rosalia or Claude, athy is suspected and she actually decides to die.

whilst she had the same potential for pride, coldness and anger as claude, i don't really see it in her characterisation to do so unless she has the chance to escape, heal and pull herself together to a point where she is strong enough to loathe claude with her whole self, instead of just half-heartedly. she does feel betrayed post thirteen, but again, she accepts it in order to get those few crumbs of attention that she so desperately desires. athanasia can suffocate herself, her desires, her basic needs, if it just means that she can get attention and love from someone she loves (no matter how different the pureness of their desires are).

in some alternate ending where she didn't die (because intoxicating was meant to take place in The Lovely Princess as a 'what you never saw because it was behind the scenes, and you were too focused on jennette to even think that something was wrong with claude and athanasia') and she managed to escape claude by marrying into another royal family and being protected by them (because if she went with lucas i just know that i would have done him so dirty and made him another kind of abuser), she would have felt the loathing wholeheartedly. if she went through a whole character change/development, then she would be just as cruel as claude if not more. if her spouse was cruel, was cold, or was even indifferent, i can promise you that athanasia would be someone that even claude would take seriously because after running away from abuse and straight into abandonment, she would have built walls so strong that nothing could ever dare to enter. her pride would develop and she'd feel humiliated, but to a point where she ignores it instead of accepting it - that point in her past is an embarrassing one to her, not something that she fears or cries about.

I just wonder that even though she opted for death rather than going back to her life, would she have felt angry and betrayed in the last moments of her death that her life is ending the way it is- she is the miserable first princess, she has been used as a whore by her only parent, the person she had been jealous of is receiving decent treatment from the parent from whom she had desired that type of treatment. Will she not feel horrible?

i'll be honest - my idea for her last moments would be acceptance. she has chosen to die and has been wanting to escape for years, and this is her only escape - as far as she knows, claude will chase her to the ends of the earth. of course, as typical of a writer, as she drifts away into death (somewhat harshly... that is a noose after all), she would think of everything and feel upset for her child self (potentially even meeting an echo of her child self in death), but ultimately accept.

athanasia's whole thing is about how she just accepts stuff, and she would have accepted the way that she'd been treated because she has no other way to deal with it. she would have been upset that she was the miserable first princess, that she had been used as a whore by her only parent, that her 'sister' received the treatment that she had desired, but i wouldn't see it as loathing. it would be more of a "i'm so sorry to letting this happen to my child self, and letting it keep happening even though i promised i would do better".

athanasia just doesn't have it in her to loathe.

(in my characterisation, at least. if she was as loathsome, claude would be dead. she feels horrible, upset, but not necessarily betrayed yet - she's more hurt about the fact that claude would use jennette in order to make her come back, about the fact that claude gives jennette all that athanasia has ever wanted but that jennette perceives as basic treatment)

And do happen to read the manga recently? In season 1 itself we get to know that Anastasius isn't dead and in lp timeline when Claude doubles down in pain, calling for Jeannette, anastacius appears and smirks down at him. And also in the recent chapters of season 3 that Diana was always there!

i stopped reading because i was tired of wmmap BUT i am guilty of looking up spoon’s previews because the art is so pretty lol but yeah i heard about diana being around !! obviously since intoxicating was last updated over a year ago and that only came out recently, this was a mere coincidence, but it’s fun seeing little mimicking scenes in the manhwa lol but if we’re looking at the post-athy death (claude: “if i had a nickle for every time my lover died, i’d have two nickles, which isn't a lot, but it's weird that it happened twice”), then it probably would have happened since intoxicating was set in TLP :))

anastasius’s ghost already appears in intoxicating when claude is being tormented by him, penelope and diana for what he has done to athanasia (whether it is a hallucination or not is up to you), but if we’re following the fact that anastasius is alive, then when he returns and undoubtedly eventually finds out that claude slept with his daughter, he’d probably mock the shit out of him. it’d probably happen when claude thinks that he is a hallucination and says something along the lines of “what, are you back here to mock me for fucking athanasia? do you not have anything better to do?” and anastasius is like sorry WHAT lol anyways but yeah anastasius would a hundred percent mock the fuck out of claude for being just like him despite claude promising he never would.

of course, though, the original ending for intoxicating ends with claude overdosing and going back in time (whether that actually is time travel or just in his own imagination is up to you lol it’s up for interpretation), realising that in this life that he has been granted, he has the opportunity to treat athanasia properly. he was in love with athanasia by the time she died, just not the way she wanted - maybe here, he could leave her untainted, he could make her happy. whether he actually did or not wouldn’t really matter as it would have probably ended with some sappy scene where he’s patting a child athanasia’s head with the promise to at least try to be a good father and some ghost of diana sighing in relief but it’s the thought that counts 👍🏻

bruh you should be a writer like just go and enjoy yourself bestie... okay but genuinely, you’re right - it would have been such a traumatic karma that would genuinely be delicious AHAHA okay but if we just push aside the original plan for intoxicating slash move it forward so that it’d go claude meeting anastasius again --> claude committing suicide then just listen at how good it’d be.

like i said earlier, anastasius would eventually find out what he had done and would have subjected claude to even worse than he already had just because he could, leaving claude to finally empathise with athanasia and in a state of misery. however he kills himself doesn’t matter - him meeting anastasius again and finally being forced to understand what it was like to go through what he had done to her ALL OVER AGAIN (because this is now his SECOND ROUND of what he has been forced to undergo with anastasius) is all the incentive he’d need to treat athanasia right in his next life. his desires would undoubtedly go locked up and he’d focus on making sure that athanasia is happy rather than doing what he wants, because he loves her (as fucked up as it is) and has already seen her dead once.

the bit you said about how jennette was pampered by both him and his abuser/enemy, but his own precious daughter was treated like scum the same way he was treated by his father and brother... you can bet that during some torture scene anastasius would remind claude of it. anastasius has a way of painting words, has a way of conjuring images out of thin air that do nothing but torment.

you’re definitely right - i actually did have a scene where diana (ghost, hallucination, whatever) interrogates/asks him why he did that to their daughter, if he enjoyed making her suffer. actually i just read the bit you said about how she only appears in hallucinations because she won’t even appear in front of him as a ghost because she despises him so much... bruh open a doc and start writing your own books this is GOOD LOL

bruh don’t worry, i love answering questions AHAHA trust me, i do not care about the dms - send me as many as you like, you aren’t invading my personal space at all unless you’re sending death threats LMFAO

Did Claude think of athy as anything more than a whore, like anything more than an object for his pleasure, an object for venting and using? Ever? Has he ever wanted or longed to be her father? Has he ever wanted to be a parent before and after athy?

again, he did actually fall in love with athanasia, as horrid as it sounds. initially it was as an object of venting, of using, of pushing to the edge just because he could and had nothing better to do. i feel like he never saw her as a whore per se, but more of something that could satisfy him as long as he treated it well enough - she was more of an ornament, a beautiful yet fragile doll, something for him to collect and ruin and to project on. and then, after that, he fell in love with her in some sick, twisted way (i don’t know if you’d tag it as love, but that’s definitely what he saw it as. you could also call it obsession), never wanting to let her go, wanting to keep her for himself (his possessiveness blurs the lines between him seeing her as his lover or his trophy).

not once has he ever even considered being her father.

if he had at any point in time, she would have accepted him back even if he didn’t act on it properly - she craved a father’s attention, after all. claude probably wanted to be a dad with diana, wanted to be the good father that he never got the chance to have, but once diana died, he was pushed to the edge and couldn’t find it in himself to be able to even look at the byproduct of their love. then, that byproduct of their love eventually became his love.

Will he ever feel horrified when he reflects back on his actions on athy after her death? Like thinking back about how she lived and died? How he never treated her like a human.

oh a hundred percent !! it is that, plus the loss of someone he loves again, that pushes him to the edge. however, i believe it is slightly less of regret that he never treated her like a human and more that he lost her and let her be miserable. claude wouldn’t care that his actions were wrong, just that they had caused athanasia so many grievances that she eventually had come to the decision that being dead was better than being with him.

claude isn’t a good enough man for redemption.

the only thing he can do is repent, and go straight to hell afterwards.

(that sounded edgy but lowkey cool lol BUT YEAH there is no real redemption for claude and if i even entertained the idea, then it’d perpetuate that abusers can eventually be forgiven for what they have done to hurt others.)

bruh don’t you worry bestie trust me !! sorry for the late response i got carried away and had my laptop break LMFAO and omg thanks for the compliments but you should be a writer... i love your ideas LOL and if you have any more questions, JUST DM ME BRUH I DON’T CARE I WOULD LOVE TO HAVE A CONVERSATION WITH YOU

#toisiit #bruh i forgot how tags work so yolo #also i realised that half my responses have HALF FINISHED SENTENCES BECAUSE I FORGET TO FINISH THEM so if you see one here no you did not

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marrys-dream-world · 3 years

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lovers alone wear sunlight (chapter four)

Chapter One Chapter Two Chapter Three

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Notes: There’s ladynoir angst because this is a season 4 fic, I don’t make the rules. So it’s the ladrien/ladynoir chapter (you’ll get your turn, Marinette). This is where the fic starts to tie itself together so you should read the previous chapters first. This is for Day 4: Disguises @ladrienjune

Adrien Agreste had no reason to be upset.

His father had breakfast with and even talked to him, even if the conversation was a little stilted and about the interview for the apple juice ads that would be coming out soon. He had been allowed an extra bowl of fruit, mangoes and pineapples, today and that reminded him of his girlfriend. Adrien had also gotten to school early and talked to Nino, who was making a Ladybug-themed playlist for Alya’s birthday party, which, of course, reminded him of his girlfriend too. Then, he met Aimee, who thanked him for coming to her art expo and shyly suggested that he and Marinette could accompany her to the superhero art contest she was going to participate in. He said, sincerely, that he would love to go, mind filled with red and black again.

But that was fine. He loved thinking about his girlfriend, the memory of being wrapped in her arms the night before only making his day better.

I told them. No, that wasn’t Adrien Agreste’s problem, he had no reason to be upset.

But it looked like Marinette had.

She looked a bit messy today and more than a little tired. It wasn’t something new, she had been like that the past week, her pigtails crooked and her usual jacket and shirt combo replaced by a comfortable sweater. What was new was the frown on her face as she stared at her locker like if she did it hard enough, it would tell her the secrets of the universe.

“Hey, Marinette.” He said lightly, trying to not spook her. It didn’t work as she jumped a feet in the air.

“Adrien!” She exclaimed, cheeks pink. “Hi, hey, good morning, ha- how are you? Hello.”

He chuckled. Classic Marinette. “I’m fine, thanks for asking. But are you?”

She blinked slowly, looking a lot like an owl. “Am I what?”

“Fine? I don’t want to pry, but you looked like you’ve been tired all week and today you seem… well, frustrated. Is there anything I can help you with?”

“Oh, Adrien, you’re the sweetest.” Marinette said as a pretty smile blossomed on her face for a moment, before a more somber expression took over. “I just have to do something that I’m scared of doing tonight, but that’s okay, I’ll figure it out.”

“What is it that you have to do?”

She paused. “I did something hurtful to a friend, but they don’t know that yet. So I’ll tell him tonight, I can’t let this go any longer.”

I was alone with my best friend and she was being so understanding I just… told her. No, stop that, not Adrien Agreste’s problem.

“I’m sorry, Marinette, I know you didn’t mean to hurt them.” It was true, she was one of the kindest and most well-meaning people he knew.

“But I did.” She said solemnly. “So I’m going to fix it.”

The classes passed in a blur, which was unusual to him. He found out early in his school years that being around people his age stimulated him a lot, so learning was actually fun and he understood things easier. However, his heart wasn’t in it today and he spent most of his time doodling ladybugs on his notebook and trying to pretend he wasn’t paying attention. Thankfully, Ms. Bustier didn’t try to call on him. Marinette, though, was scolded twice by the end of the day, and everytime he chanced a glance at her, she was wearing the same frown from the locker room.

“Are you okay, kid?” Plagg had asked as soon as he arrived in his room after dinner. Alone. This morning must have been a fluke. “Look, I know you said you didn’t want to talk about what Pigtails said last night…”

“I have to finish my homework before it’s time for patrol.” Adrien said, feeling bad for cutting him off but not wanting to deal with the elephant in the room.

“Kid…”

“I’m fine, Plagg, really. You should charge before we go.” He said, throwing a piece of camembert in his direction.

Plagg caught but didn’t immediately start vevouring, taking his time looking at Adrien before sighting and settling inside his favorite sock. He left Adrien to staring blankly at his paper, eyes unseeing to the text in front of him. Soon, patrol hours came.

“Plagg, claws out.”

Usually, being Chat Noir felt liberating, an escape from his stifling room, stifling schedule, stifling life, but today it just reminded him of the weight on his shoulders that had bothered him all day because…

Someone knows my identity.

Chat Noir had a problem.

“Good evening, my lady.” He purred, giving the girl in front of him a slight bow.

A problem he wasn’t even supposed to know about yet.

“Hey, Chaton.” Ladybug said, giving him a faint smile. If he didn't know something was wrong already, her posture would have told him. “Ready for patrol?”

It was a calm night. He jumped through roof and talked to some civilians, Ladybug checking if her anti-akuma charm worked well with Mr. Ramier and Chat Noir having an enlightening conversation with Mr. Banana about how to avoid chafing when wearing a suit for a long time. They calmed down a girl who had sprained her ankle and was crying about being benched from a track competition she would have soon, kindly promising to show up to the first competition she would have after healing. The whole time, Chat Noir could feel the glances Ladybug was stealing from his direction.

They eventually stopped at their usual rooftop, where they finished patrol if everything was fine.

“Fur-tunatelly, it looks like Shadow Moth is taking a break today. First time this week.” Chat Noir said, slumping against a wall. “All in all, it was a successful patrol.”

“Yes, it was.” Ladybug said absent-mindely, before her eyes focused again as she turned to him. “Can we talk? I have something very important to tell you.

“Of course, my lady.” He said, staring intently at her.

She took a deep breath. “I know you noticed I hadn’t exactly been myself a few weeks after we fought Miracle Queen.”

“The impromptu trips to the pool gave me a hint.”

Ladybug snorted. “Not one of my best moments. I wasn’t dealing well with being the guardian, Chaton. I was always scared that Shadow Moth would find out who I was and come after me and get the miracle box and—”

“Ladybug.” He said, using the soothing tone from the night before when her breath started to pick up speed. “Count to ten with me?”

“What— I, ah… One, two, three…” And by the time she finished, she looked closer to her normal again. “Thanks, I don’t know what’s going on with me these days.”

“You’re just stressed, Shadow Moth was on a roll this week.” Chat Noir said, carefully placing a hand on her back, which she leaned into. “Go on, my lady.”

“Well, the guardian responsibilities were just eating me alive, Chat, I broke up with the guy I was dating because of all the lies and I almost lost all my friends. If I hadn’t been able to make up an excuse, I would be alone.”

“You’re never alone, bugaboo.” He whispered. “You should know you can always count on me.”

“I know. “Does she? “But it’s not the same. So when my best friend told me I could always count on her, I… I wasn’t in a good place, Chaton. I told her I’m Ladybug.”

Chat Noir looked at her blankly. Although she told Adrien that she would tell her partner today, he didn’t think she actually would. It seemed stupid in hindsight, Ladybug wouldn’t lie and he wondered why he even doubted her.

Maybe because I don’t know her as well as I thought I did. Chat Noir thought, before stomping on the bitter feelings rising in his chest.

“When did this happen?” He asked, keeping his voice carefully neutral.

Ladybug winced. “About two months ago.”

“Two months?!” This time, he didn’t have to fake his reaction. “Why didn’t you tell me before?”

“I-I didn’t know how to tell you.” He hadn’t seen her stutter, as Chat Noir, in a very long time. Unlike other times, he couldn’t find it in himself to think it was cute. “Look, I didn’t want to hurt you…”

“This isn’t about being hurt.” Chat Noir said. From the look of her eyes, he knew she didn’t believe a word. Neither did he. “We’re partners, Ladybug, I have to know if there’s a chance of your identity being leaked.”

“She would never tell anyone.” Ladybug said, serious. But her eyes were pleading for him to believe her. “She’s the most loyal person I know.”

“But she can still get akumatized! Have you at least given her the anti-akuma charm?”

“Of course I did, I’m not stupid!”

“I’m not saying you’re stupid, I just don’t get what you were thinking! She can still be affected by akumas, we literally fought one that could force you to tell the truth. Your friend is another person Shadow Moth can make reveal your identity, which is worse than him knowing mine because you’re the freaking guardian.”

“Well, Chat Noir, it’s too late for that now.” She spat out defensively, now frowning. Never that patient, his partner. “I told her. I didn’t plan on it, I was having a meltdown and I needed someone to know. Maybe it wasn’t the best decision, but what can I do about it?”

“You could at least pretend that you actually think I’m your partner and trust me, how about that?!”

“You are my partner and I do trust you!”

“It doesn’t feel like it! You didn’t tell me what was bothering you, you waited months to tell me someone knows your identity, the biggest security breach we could have right now, and even now, you probably won’t tell me your identity because it’s ‘too dangerous’. You won’t let me help you. Did I forget anything?”

Ladybug’s eyes were wide and her mouth halfway open, skin shades paler than it was a few moments ago. A sting of guilt made its way to his chest and for a second he wanted to take it all back, apologize, say it didn’t matter and that everything would be alright. But he didn’t, grabbing his baton instead.

“Maybe we should schedule more solo patrols for some time, Ladybug.” Chat Noir said, taking advantage of her being shell shocked to leap away into the night.

Usually he would take more time to enjoy the feeling of wind on his hair and the freedom of being out of his stifling house, but the suit suddenly felt confining and made him feel small. For the first time, he didn’t feel like being Chat Noir.

“Claws in.” He called as soon as he got into his room.

Plagg flew in front of him hurriedly. “Kid—”

“Not now, Plagg, please.” Adrien took a shuddering breath. It felt like it would only take a wrong touch and he would break.

He carefully sat on his couch, staring sightlessly at the city lights from his window. His kwami had quietly, for once, inhaled a piece of cheese before settling against the crook of his neck. Adrien was truly glad he did, his whole body felt numb and the only thing grounding him was Plagg’s warmth against his skin. He spent countless hours, but probably only a few minutes in that position, before a familiar sound of knocking brought him out of it.

There stood in front of his window, Ladybug.

“Ladybug?” He said softly, opening the window. Plagg, way ahead of him, was nowhere to be seen. She immediately jumped into his arms, sobbing. "What 's wrong?”

“I messed up, Adrien.” She managed to say through her tears. “I went all wrong with this and I hurt Chat and now he hates me.”

“He doesn’t hate you, my love.” He didn’t even know how to.

“Yes, he does! He doesn’t want to patrol with me anymore! He doesn’t want to see me.”

Adrien winced. That had been something he said because he knew it would hurt her at least a fraction of what he was feeling at that moment.

“He didn’t mean it like that, Ladybug, he probably just needs time.” He said. “Chat Noir just needs time to… to…”

To his embarrassment, tears started to pool in his eyes.

“Adrien?” Ladybug said, raising her head from his chest. “Is everything okay?”

He meant to say yes, really, he did. But as soon as he opened his mouth, he sobbed and his legs decided to stop working. Ladybug reacted fast, supporting him with her strong arms and guiding them both to the couch.

“Shhh, it’s okay, my prince, it’s okay.” She said, hugging him tightly. Her comforting expression was at odds with her red and tear streaked face.

“I-I’m sorry—”

“There’s nothing to be sorry for.” She said firmly. After a few moments of him crying in her arms, she said. “Tell me what happened?”

“I had a fight with a f-friend.” He said vaguely.

“Nino?” Adrien shook his head. “Hum, Marinette?”

He shook his head again and she hesitated, probably because he only had four friends and two he wasn’t on speaking terms with. Poor, lonely Adrien Agreste, she must be thinking.

“A friend from work.” He said. “We´ve been working together for almost a year now and I thought we were on the same page on our friendship, but I guess not.”

“I’m sorry, my prince.” She said softly, running her hands through his head.

I can’t look at you right now. He thought.

Please don’t ever leave. He also thought.

“We’ll fix it.” Adrien said, leaning into her touch. “Don’t worry about it, my love.”

Just not today. He thought, as he held the reason for both his pain and joy in his arms.

#ladrienjune #ladrienjune2021 #ladrien #ladynoir #ladybug #chat noir #adrien agreste #marinette dupain-cheng #ml fic #my stuff #lovers alone wear sunlight

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taejeonie · 4 years

Text

taehee’s relationship with 127

taeil — jeonil

taeil loves to pat her head

taehee mentioned if 127 was her family taeil would be that cool uncle

she finds him very cute esp when he dances and does aegyo

taeil hugged her during weekly idol when he was asked ‘who’s the member you pity the most?’ bc he felt like living with the boys is hard esp if she’s the only girl and she was having it hard that time so he’s sad for her

she and hyuck always clown him for taeil’s butterfly

iconic moments: everytime taeil appears on screen, taehee would shout ‘귀여워!’ or ‘cutie!’ and it will always make him smile wider

johnny — johnhee

when she graduated with mark, johnny carried her on his shoulders

“I CAN SEE THE WORLD FROM UP HERE!”

always clowning mark committee

she finds johnny as the sexiest member

johnny loves to copy her australian accent,,he labeled it ‘fancy’

iconic moment: they were doing an interview in buzzfeed about who’s who. when johnny was voted as the member with the best fashion sense, taehee explained whenever she goes shopping, bringing johnny is a must. “i go up to him,” she says while pretending to hold two pieces of clothes in her hand, “i’m like ‘what should i get?’ and he’s like,” all of the foreign members answer with her in english while the others say it in korean, “‘get both!’,” making laughter fill the studio.

taeyong — yonghee

“taeyong eomma-“

“bOOMING SYSTEM UH UH TY TRACK TY TRACK”

taehee discovered taeyong gets flustered easily during that one vlive of nct u boss, so she makes it a point to playfully flirt with him at unsuspecting times

taeyong always reminds her to not work too hard and makes her food, even if he taught her how to cook

he made her a letter when she appeared in ‘real men’ and it made her cry

iconic moment: taeyong talked about taehee during one of those deep nct life solo interviews, “taehee works very hard, and i admire that about her but i always remind her to take it easy at times. i know it’s been hard for her when it was announced that she would be debuting with us so i, along with the other members, try to be good brothers to her so she can get comfortable....honestly, she hides her problems and insecurities for our benefit and she won’t tell us until you try to ask. i just want her to open up to us and let loose at times because that’s what a family is, and we’d always be there for her.”

yuta — taeyu

anime buddies she loves haikyuu

he’s always trying to pull pranks on her

she isn’t that gullible but everything that flies out of yuta’s mouth seems like the truth so she believes everything that he says even if it’s not true

“(yuta) oppa looked so cool in his part in cherry bomb!!”

yuta: must!!! headlock!!!! taehee!!!!!

iconic moment: during vlive, a fan asked if they could marry taehee and she immediately agreed, but yuta shouted, “SHE’S NOT GETTING MARRIED UNTIL SHE’S 35 AND NOT SURROUNDED BY BOYS!!! THOSE ARE TWO CONDITIONS!!!”

doyoung — youngtae

also “doyoung eomma-“

whenever taehee does something provocative, he’d always have those wide eyes and say like “WHAT’S THIS??? WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!?”

(idol room) “you shouldn’t get into a fight with taehee. you will lose, especially if it’s a verbal fight. she’s scary....”

“once i become an adult, i want to drink with the older oppa’s.” “good.”

taehee sprained her ankle by the end of a cherry bomb performance and doyoung was the one who helped her get back to the waiting room

iconic moment: in the new nct life episode, they would be sliding down a really long and high slide while answering questions. haechan teased doyoung, who was his opponent, that they couldn’t win because of his fear of heights. he argued, “you’d lose too!! taehee’s also afraid of heights. right, taehee?,” and in response, she said, “i’m not a coward like you,” while coolly walking off. doyoung: (　ﾟдﾟ)

jaehyun — taejae

sexy voice/adlib duo but also dimple line ( ◠‿◠ )

they did that goblin scene (the one where euntak complains that she doesn’t have a boyfriend yet and the goblin shouts that he’s the boyfriend, you know that scene? yeah that scene) for star road and when they finished taehee was like, “woah...i think my heart’s speeding up”

later in that interview, she found him the most handsome member during that day (cue a lot of complaints from the other members bc they thought it was jungwoo, meanwhile hyuck answered himself)

(nct night night) “jaehyun oppa’s voice is the type to listen to when you want to relax or fall asleep,,,great for asmr 👍”

has his hands around her waist when they stand next to each other but it’s like one of those ‘back off big brother is here’

iconic moment: nct 24-hour relay,,,mark and jaehyun taught her how to play bball and jaehyun kept on complimenting her. after taehee shot the ball while being defended by mark, he told her, “okay, goooood!! now try to get the ball from me.” “yes coach!”

winwin — wintae

cute duo tm

nct’s always onto them,,pinching their cheeks or hugging tf out of them,, they cannot and will not escape

he doesn’t like skinship but he doesn’t mind it if taehee puts her arm around his shoulder like a bro

they’re also really flexible like they showed off cutely during that one weekly idol episode

their love language is like making derp faces while finger hearting

iconic moment: while filming an nct life episode, winwin couldn’t understand the rules. mark tried to explain it to him but he failed, so when taehee tried to explain in to him with actions, he understood immediately. (cue smug taehee)

jungwoo — junghee

taehee’s got a crush on him from empathy era and it disappeared somewhere around superhuman era,,and then it went back during kick it

when he got back, taehee kept hanging out with him because she missed him

“yOU THINK HE’S CUTE BUT HE’S GOT AB-“ jungwoo quickly covers her mouth, pushing them off frame (vlive)

“oppawhatdoyouwantforyourbirthday?” “you.” “w h a t”

back hugs back hugs back hugs back hugs back hugs

iconic moment: (as4u) “honestly, i had a slight crush on jungwoo oppa when he first joined,” (mark: Oiiiiiii) and jungwoo was flustered but he managed to get out a “ʳᵉᵃˡˡʸ﹖,” and then taehee continued, “his looks are my type.”

mark — markhee

best friends since they joined the company

they arrived in sm the same day and mark thought her name was joanie after hearing her mom call her that when she was being dropped off, so whenever they talk in english he calls her joanie

and she appreciates that bc she gets reminded of home

they’re smart during work but then all the brain cells come out when they’re outside

*mark choking on water bc he drank too fast* *taehee panics and gives him more water* *mark drinks the water and chokes more* taeyong yelling “THAT’S NOT HOW YOU DO THAT”

iconic moments: markhee’s not all soft, they have their sexy saxophone moments too especially during performances and it makes czennies fLIP. like that one concert fancam of mark blew up and it was when they were singing the bridge part their faces got so close. “yeah at this moment see right on time, ay,” taehee grabbed mark’s tie and pulled him closer, while mark put his hands on her waist while singing his verse. their foreheads were touching and they both internally smirked when they heard the fans’ screams. the effect they had on czennies.....

haechan — taehyuck

if you think junghee/markhee was the most popular ship then uR WRONG ITS TAEHYUCK

“(aegyo) i like noona too much” *vomit noises* hyuck just wants to love her but she keeps pushing him away

but she’s kind of a tsundere when it comes to him so when he asked for a kiss during an interview she gave him one while sporting a disgusting face ofc

their ship edits mostly consist of their vlive moments hyuck’s always so touchy with her

they learn dances together random dance king and queen

iconic moments: hyuck professing his love to her during vlive. “i’m gonna marry noona one day-“ he gets hit on the back of the head by doyoung while she laughs, “don’t say things like that.” and he retaliates by saying he’s got his future planned out and marrying her is one of them. there was also this one time only the two of them were doing a vlive and taehee was reading the comments. “lee donghyuck, do you love me?” *hyuck, sincerely, while looking at her* “jeon taehee, i really really really love you.” ........ “that was a comment” expect that to be used in edits too

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orange-waterfalls · 4 years

Text

Assistant

Darkiplier x male!reader

@just-bts-trash-00 ty for the request!

A/N: ok listen, I have zero clue how offices work or what assistants do. All I know is that lunch is at NOON. NOON is the time for lunch, I will fight you on this. Darkiplier not knowing how to handle feelings. We love an emotionally distant demon boi. Rated PG cuz 1 curse(that I'm aware of. I'm not reading it again cuz I'll want to change everything). Uh office romance yay. That's it. Enjoy.

Asks are open!

Word Count: 2.4k

You were the assistant of Darkiplier. The only reason you were his assistant was because nobody else wanted to be. When I say you were desperate for a job, you were desperate for a job. You had asked your friend, Bim Trimmer, if he knew about anyone who could give you a job. You figured, since he was famous, he might have connections.

He scratched the back of his head before saying "Well… there might be one guy… but I don't think you wanna work for him…". You then told him you would take literally anybody. The next day, you were introduced to Wilford Warfstache.

"Well, good morning!" He slurred a greeting to Bim. They hugged for a moment before Wilford saw you and gasped. "And who is this?"

"Wilford, this is Y/N L/N." Bim explained. "We were hoping you could give him a job." Wilford stroked his mustache thoughtfully before snapping his fingers.

"I know! You could be my assistant!" He grabbed your hands. You chuckled at his enthusiasm. "Oh, this'll be so fun! I've wanted an assistant ever since my last ones died!" Your smile dropped.

"Died?" You asked and turned to Bim. He rubbed the bridge of his nose under his glasses and groaned. You turned back to Wilford, who was still smiling at you. You retracted your hands.

"Yes, all my previous assistants have died." He said nonchalantly. "It's not my fault the gun went off." You began to worry.

You told Wilford that, respectfully, there was no goddamn way you were working for him. He said he understood and suggested a job as an assistant for one of his friends.

That's how you ended up working for Darkiplier.

When you first started at this new job of yours, he barely acknowledged your existence. You tried to tell him about his schedule and he wouldn't even bother sparing you a glance. Whenever he did pay attention to you, it was only to judge you. Your handwriting, your clothes, your voice…

After the first two weeks, you got sick of it. You planned a whole monologue on how you were going to tell him to respect you. You got as far as "you need to respect me" before he agreed to treat you better.

He wasn't as bad as he seemed.

He began to actually listen to you when you talked and took your advice about whatever you suggested. You could tell whenever he was stressed and made him a cup of tea, leaving it on his desk for when he came back. It was always warm because you timed almost everything perfectly.

You liked your job, but the man was still scary.

You took a deep breath in before entering Darkiplier's office. You held your clipboard close to your chest and walked up to his desk. He was reading a book, not paying much attention to anything else. You cleared your throat, making him look up at you.

"Problem, Mr. L/N?" He asked, voice echoing. You blinked before shaking your head and looking at your clipboard.

"Um, Mr. Warfstache called for a meeting." You informed him. You heard him groan, but kept talking. "He has an idea for a… club…"

"A club?"

"Yes… a dance club." The demon pinched the bridge of his nose.

"And why does he want a club?"

"He's been banned from all of them."

"In the city?"

"In the country, sir." Darkiplier rubbed his temples and you frowned, beginning to worry. "Migraine, sir?"

"I'm fine, Y/N…" he sighed. You raised your eyebrows. He'd never called you by your first name before. He realized what he said and looked up at you. You smirked playfully.

"Um…" he cleared his throat. "Tell them… that I'll be down in a minute." You nodded and left the office. Darkiplier sighed and buried his face in his hands.

You were his assistant, and you were a good one. You helped him manage his time, you catered to the other egos so they'd leave him alone, and you knew how to calm him down. You made him happy.

That was a problem.

Darkiplier wasn't good with feelings. The only ones he knew how to portray were anger and indifference. All he knew was that something had happened to him when you started working for him.

Anytime he was around you, his heart started to race. His palms would sweat, he'd feel his face heat, and he felt a knot in his stomach. He honestly thought you were, somehow, killing him. He then asked Dr. Iplier what his problem was, and the man chuckled before saying Dark was in love.

In love?

He thought there was no way.

But then he saw you laugh at something Wilford said, and it started to make sense.

"What the hell am I supposed to do?" He mumbled.

You were obviously scared of him, no matter how much you helped. He couldn't blame you. There was no way you'd like him. Besides, he was your boss and you were focused on your job. He didn't want to seem like he was taking advantage of you. He didn't want you to quit. He wouldn't survive. He couldn't tell you. He couldn't. Not yet, at least.

He'd figure it out.

Three months. Three months you'd been working there, and Darkiplier still hadn't gathered up the courage to confess to you. Everytime he decided he was going to, you were busy. Making a schedule, talking to another ego, making him tea…

He couldn't do it.

Everytime he tried to speak to you he just ended up telling you to do something for him. It was your job, technically, but he felt kind of bad. He was making you do menial tasks just because he was a coward.

But today. Today was the day. He would confess to you in the meeting room, before the meeting started.

He took a deep breath and walked into the room, seeing you already there. You were sitting in his chair, scribbling words down on your clipboard. He stared at your focused face, not wanting to bother you. He stood there like a weirdo for two minutes before you finally glanced up, seeing him. You looked back down before realizing he was there and jumping up out of the chair.

"Sir! Hi! Sorry, I figured you wouldn't mind if I sat here…" you rambled. "I'm sorry, I didn't notice you, I-"

"It's alright, Mr. L/N." He reassured You sighed in relief and began to walk out the door. He gently grabbed your arm before you could leave, and you gave him a confused look.

He looked… frustrated. Angry about something. You frowned. Did something happen? Did you do something wrong?

"Y/N…" he began. You raised an eyebrow. He said your first name. He looked around, noticing the other egos beginning to enter. He had to say it right then and right there. "Y/N, I-" he was cut off by the fire alarm going off. Wilford burst into the room.

"Ok… so I may or may not have blown up the microwave…" he said guiltily. Dark let go of your arm with a growl and went to the lounge, while you and all the other egos went outside.

Dark sighed as he sprayed the fire extinguisher and Wilford hid behind him. He thought about you. You were right there. He was just about to tell you!

He would have other chances. He'd be fine. It'd be fine.

Darkiplier groaned as he laid his head on his desk. He wanted to confess. He did! He really, really did! But… he got nervous. You were just so handsome! Especially since you'd taken up a new hairstyle. You looked so… confident. And outgoing. And sexy!

He couldn't. He refused to.

That is until Wilford waltzed into his office and claimed, "If you don't ask out that strapping young lad, I will!"

Now he had to ask you out. He figured it was a joke, but he couldn't take any chances with Wilford. The interviewer would probably kill you.

So, he made a to-do list of everything he was going to do that day. He was going to confess to you during lunch. He wrote it down in a small notepad you gave him for Christmas. He sighed and looked at the list.

Convince Warfstache not to kill everyone who annoys him: Meeting, 10:00 a.m.

He looked at the time.

9:45

He took a deep breath and stood up. He might as well get there early. Not like he had anything better to do. He left the notepad open on his desk and went to the meeting room.

You walked out of the restroom and headed towards the lounge, shaking your hands of water as you walked. You knew he was in a meeting, so you went to make him some tea for when it was over. You knew how aggravated he could get.

You made him a cup of Chamomile tea and walked to his office. You entered the room and sat the tea on a coaster he kept. You looked around the room for a moment before deciding you should meet Dark at the door of the meeting room when it's over. You go to pick the tea back up, but something catches your eye.

The notepad you gave him was open, and the page was titled, "To Do List". You raised your eyebrows. He had things to do? You were going to have to implement them into his schedule.

You picked up the notepad and read through the list. It was normal, for the most part. Meeting, meditate, nap, lunch…

There was just one thing you didn't really understand.

What did he mean by "confess"?

At 11:59, right before lunch, it said to "confess to Y/N"

Firstly, it was 12:15, so he was late.

Second, what did that mean?

The first thing that popped into your head was that he was going to confess his love. But he doesn't like you like that… right?

Well… he did act a bit strange around you… and he was nicer to you than the other egos… and you could swear you saw his face turn bright pink one time…

And you did hear Wilford say something about if Dark didn't ask out "that strapping young lad", then he would…

And Wilford asked you out a week after.

Oh.

Oh God.

He liked you.

Darkiplier liked you!

How did you not notice this before? Were you really that oblivious? How long had he liked you? You had so many questions!

And then Darkiplier walked in the door.

He didn't notice you at first, but smiled a bit when he did.

"Good morning, Mr. L/N. How--" he stopped his greeting and froze when he saw his notepad in your hands.

You turned to him, a confused look on your face. He looked at you, slight worry and fear in his eyes, before he sighed and walked over to you. He took the notepad from your hands and sat it on his desk. He walked around the desk and sat in his chair.

"Sit," he gestured to the chair across from him. You plopped down.

"You…" you breathed out. He smiled sadly and looked down.

"Yes."

"You love me…"

"Yes, I do…"

"How long?"

"How long have you worked here?" You both chuckled. You shook your head.

"I don't believe it…" Darkiplier stood. You stared up at him, wondering what he was going to do.

"I understand if you would like to quit. I will give you a recommendation for your next job."

"Excuse me?" You asked. He blinked and looked up. You were no longer sitting, as you were resting your palms on his desk, leaning over it slightly. "Why would I quit? I love this job!"

"What?"

"Everyone's so nice! I have never been in such a wholesome work environment!" You gushed. Darkiplier looked at you, confusion evident on his pale face.

"But… I-"

"Yeah, you love me. But guess what, dude? I love you, too!" You blurt out. Dark was taken aback by your sudden confession.

"I thought you were focusing on your job…" he pointed out.

"Technically, you are my job," you smirked. Both of you stared at each other for a moment before laughing. Well, you laughed. Darkiplier just let out small chuckles.

He let his eyes trace over your face. You looked so happy. He loved to see you happy…

He set a hand on your cheek and you stopped laughing. He was cold, but you didn't care. Your smile fell as you watched him. He leaned over the desk, like you were, and stroked your cheek with his thumb. He gazed into your eyes and just stood there. Just appreciating the moment.

You let your eyes flutter closed, hoping he'd understand.

He did.

You felt cold lips on yours. It sent a shiver down your spine and gave you goosebumps, but you didn't pull away. You both tilted your heads for a better angle, and you deepened the kiss by running your fingers through his hair and keeping them tangled.

And then the moment was ruined by Wilford letting out a wolf-whistle. You quickly pulled away from Dark and dropped yourself back in the chair.

"Well, Dark, I didn't know you had it in you!" He laughed. Dark turned towards him and you saw the red and blue auras around his grow. You looked back and saw Google and Bim give some money to Dr. Iplier, both egos grumbling in annoyance. You flushed and turned back, hiding your face in your hands. Dark stalked towards the egos, a threatening gaze daring them to say something else. All of them were smart enough to run. Except for Wilford, who asked "Can I be your best man, Dark?"

You then heard a scream of terror from Wilford and him running out of the office. Dark removed your hands from your face, his aura still large, and kissed one of your palms.

"Be right back, handsome…" he said too softly for the anger in his eyes. You grinned at his messier-than-usual hair and nodded. He stormed out of the office.

"Wilford!" He bellowed. You snorted and shook your head as you got out your schedule. You looked at the time.

12:30

You missed lunch. You'd have to make room for some food…

Among other things…

#darkiplier #markiplier darkiplier #mtv darkiplier #darkiplier x reader #darkiplier x male!reader #darkiplier x male y/n #darkiplier x y/n #darkiplier x you #x reader #x male reader #x y/n #x you #markiplier egos x reader #markiplier egos

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drlissahawthorne · 3 years

Text

A New Vision

Who: Clarissa Hawthorne

When: Summer 2008 - Summer 2012

Where: nowhere specific

What: Clarissa’s journey from the end of the Beijing games through the end of her career as an Olympic archer four years later in London.

Warnings: Abuse

Word Count: 1855

Notes: This is part 2 of 3. Part 1.

After gold in Beijing, Clarissa was riding a high. A high that she never wanted to end, but a high that couldn’t possibly last. Unfortunately, her eyes were going to get worse. And they were going to get worse, fast. She did her best to focus on college, to take everything one day at a time. Except sometimes one day turned into three or four days where her eyes just didn’t work. Where she couldn’t read her textbooks, where almost everything had to be read to her. Where she was lucky if she could even open her eyes without feeling like her head was going to explode.

Her roommate was her saving grace.

Jill was the kind of girl who would do anything for a laugh, but especially to make Clarissa laugh. She often considered the archer to be too stiff, too unwilling to be a young adult. Sure, she figured this had to do with how Clarissa was raised, how she’d been treated on the world stage, but it was something that could change. And it was something that Jill was going to make sure happened. Jill, in a lot of ways, just wanted to see Clarissa succeed in life. No matter what that might mean she’d have to do. Whether it was dragging Clarissa out to clubs to party or helping her adjust to life, Jill did it. When it came to Clarissa’s notes, classwork, and the like, Jill painstakingly recorded everything she could and read aloud what she couldn’t for when Clarissa’s eyes weren’t working. It was something Clarissa was beyond thankful for, and often tried to pay the other back, but was generally turned down at every turn. They were friends, that's what they did.

They worked together well and agreed to move into an off campus apartment their sophomore year. It gave them the liberty to live out in the city itself and pay way less than they had been on campus. It also gave them a headstart on helping Clarissa figure out bus routes without entirely relying on her sight to do so. Not that her eyesight was to that point, but it was good practice and a good deal of fun. They often tried to see if they could start at opposite ends of town and figure out the quickest bus route to a central point the fastest. Typically speaking, the central point was somewhere important, their apartment, the grocery store, their favorite restaurant. To most people it probably seemed weird, the way the pair worked, but they were just being themselves.

During that time Clarissa played hockey, helped support the rugby team, and continued to practice archery. Though, it became increasingly more obvious that things like hockey and archery, at least the act of participating in them, were going to come to an end. Sooner, rather than later. The prospect wasn’t new to Clarissa, but it also wasn’t something she was looking forward to. Or even really saw herself being able to accept. Jill tried, a number of times, to get Clarissa to start the process early. To start transitioning to a life where sports weren’t going to be as big a part of them as they were, but didn’t succeed in the slightest. If anything, the few times Jill pushed her to do such, Clarissa withdrew into herself. The denial was strong and, admittedly, Jill really couldn’t blame her.

Clarissa had a number of relationships during that time. Very few of them were good for her. In fact, many of them were very negative. People not wanting to deal with the way her eyesight could be a problem. The way she sometimes needed a little extra help on dates. How movie dates, or any dates that involved a lot of eye power in general, were fun but draining in a way that left her not really wanting to do much else. Or how her eyesight could get in the way of her even being able to go on a date. How things had to be planned out while still being open to canceling or extreme changes to accommodate her. Many of the relationships ended on very poor terms, Clarissa getting angry and breaking things off, or her partner getting frustrated over not wanting to deal with everything. Her sight was failing her, and it seemed like no one really wanted to put up with that. Not that this was something that surprised Clarissa, of course. It was the kind of thing that made her already strange reputation even worse. That just added to the way people avoided interacting with her if they could help it.

In the fall of 2010, Clarissa met Elias Westwood. He was a charismatic and charming guy, who genuinely seemed to want to know Clarissa for who she was. He was interested in her archery, her love of hockey, the things that made Clarissa, herself. Elias was a couple years older than her and she’d met him at a function on campus. They bonded over a love of video games and good music. He was a grad student and the way he looked at her made her feel special. Made her forget about the way her eyes ached and the looming reality that her time as an Olympic archer was coming to an end. He picked at her insecurities and promised to never hurt her the way other people had.

And he didn’t. He did so much worse.

The first clue that he was going to be nothing but bad news was also the first thing Clarissa chose to ignore. Hard to see red flags for what they are while wearing rose colored glasses. Whether Clarissa wanted to admit it at the time or not, Elias drove a wedge between Clarissa and Jill. The other girl warned Clarissa that he really wasn’t as great a guy as he seemed. That he was playing her like a fiddle. Clarissa refused to listen. Refused to see reason. He made her feel special and she hated the idea of there possibly being something wrong with that. Even as Elias slowly started to show his true colors. He started getting clingy, at first. Little things. Wanting to know when she’d be out of a class, where she was headed to after. Who she was spending time with. It wasn’t all the time, just every once in a while. He said he was worried about her getting hurt. She believed him.

However, his actions slowly amped up more and more. Getting accusatory whenever she gave him an answer. Swearing she was lying to him. He never went so far as to say she was cheating on him but he got close. Close enough that it started to strain her other relationships. Friendships she’d worked hard to cultivate despite distance. Friendships she’d made at college and wanted to explore for what they were, purely platonic and supportive relationships. Everytime Clarissa managed to talk him down from whatever imagined ledge he was on, Elias was amazing for a couple weeks. Apologized for freaking out, made up excuse after excuse that were less and less believable. And then he stopped even doing that. He started arguing with her over everything. The little details. Things that really shouldn’t have made any real difference. Then, once he got his way, he never mentioned it again, leaving Clarissa to wonder just what was happening. Even still, she refused to see it as the emotional abuse that it was. Refused to admit to anyone that there were days when she expected him to stop yelling and start using his fists. No one needed to know that.

The summer after Clarissa graduated with her bachelor’s degree, she found herself diving headfirst into work. She had a job that she loved and that she would be able to work around both her own disability and getting her doctorate in occupational therapy, as well as training for the 2012 Olympic games. This also kept her from seeing Elias as often, which, on some days felt like a life saver, while on others felt a bit like a death sentence. Even still, she found herself in love with everything she was doing and once the fall rolled around again, she was barely seeing Elias at all. He was constantly texting and calling her, but with everything going on, she didn’t have as much time for him. Something he’d, at one point, said he understood as it’d been something very similar, at times, with him getting his master’s.

In December of 2011, Elias’ temper rose to new heights. He became extremely possessive of her. Even managed to stop her from going into work a few times, making her lie to her boss as to the why. Until he was making her choose between their relationship and her work. The work that would establish a future for her after the summer of 2012. The work that had become her passion. And in a rather explosive fight, Clarissa chose her job.

A few days later, Jill took Clarissa to adopt her first cat, Haruhi.

With her focus back on her future instead of poor relationship choices, Clarissa started to prepare herself to announce her departure from Olympic archery after the London games. It was still massively terrifying, knowing that the one thing she’d been extremely good at her entire life was coming to an end even before she hit her mid twenties. But she had a new future and a new plan.

It was her final interview of the 2012 Olympic games. She’d won gold but barely, something she hated to admit. Despite her sight having not only stabilized but improved quite a bit, a strange occurrence that no one could explain but that Clarissa was thankful for, in the year prior to the games, she had still struggled. A struggle that paid off, sure, but one she wished hadn’t existed.

“Future plans?” The interviewer was kind, already knowing that there were rumours floating around the Olympic Village about the young archer’s future in the sport.

“Finishing college and starting a proper career as an occupational therapist. As for archery, unfortunately, my time is up. I’ve been struggling with loss of sight since I was fifteen. The truth is, I’m surprised my eyesight was good enough to both qualify and compete in the games this year. I’m forever thankful for it, for the chances I’ve had to compete, to meet people, to stand on the world’s stage and show what I’m capable of. But, all good things must come to an end and, as sad as it is, this is the end of the road.” Clarissa did her best to smile through it, to let the look of pity on everyone’s faces not touch her. To roll off her back. Even as they stabbed to her very core.

And like that, Clarissa’s life as an archer had come to a close. She was ending on a high note, even if a bitter sweet one. Olympic gold in a town she’d once called home, for the country that still held her heart.

#abuse tw #[yes this is the same length as the first one]#p: self #p: s005 #p: all #about: every tears a diamond on my cheek #[decided to post this to clear it from my drafts there's still another part of this and a bunch of others I'm going to write]

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livcosmos · 4 years

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AGAIN BUT BETTER booktalk

THIS WAS SOOOOOOO AMAZING!!!!!!!! This book was all I ever wanted/needed and more I love it with all my hearth and it is by far my favourite book! If you haven’t read it yet plese do!!!

First of all I want to say that I am incredebly proud of Christine, I have been watching her videos for years and I watched her write this book in her writing videos and reading it now I feel like a proud mum! I expected it to be good but I never imagined that it would be THAT GOOD, I want to thank her for giving me this story, it means so much to me and I am more than thankfull.

I wanted to read this book the second it came out but I couldn’t because I had so much to do for school at that time and than other thins came around I wanted to read it when I was completly realxed, when I could enjoy to the fullest. And now I know that I didn’t got to read it than becau I was meant to read it NOW. Back when it was released, I hadn’t been to Rome and Paris yet and now that I have I related even more to the book because I also viseted all the places they went to. I think the universe just wanted me to read it now because now I needed it the most. I think that was a smooth introducton, I am now going more into deatal because there is so so much I want to say, I took so many notes while reading because I didn’t wanted to forget anything. I wasn’t sure and I still am if I realy want to post this because this book means so much to me and I don’t want to ruin anything by laying all my thoughts into a text but I just watched the q & a she posted about the book and I mean she would never read this but say she would somehow I want her to know that she has done so much for me with this book!

So lets start from the beginning... I related so much with Shane trough the entire book, it was like reading my own thoughts, I have never ever related to a character more than her. She said this I would say and did things I would do not to start with her thoughts I don’t now it sounds silly but as Christine said in the q & a video I felt like I was the character in the book and it was both scary and nice, well more nice than scary because I could watch Shane grow and come out of her comfort zone and do all this thins showing me that it is possible and it makes me want to do thins too. It was just ahhhhh so so good and sooo beautiful!!! Words and in genral this text don’t do justice to what I feel and what I felt about this story.

Especially in the beginning when Shane started doing those little thins like asking that stranger to take a picture, I was so proud of her for having the courage to do it because I often don’t and I was so proud of her every time she did those little things not to mention the big ones like finally talking to Pilot about her feelings.

There were so many paralles to my own life in this book that yet again made me think even more that this book is for me and not only the fact that I related so much to Shane and the Rome and Paris things it was just everything!

One of the things I loved most about it were all the refrences about books, music, movies, Tv shows, youtube... all the references, they made me so happy, everytime I understood a refrence I was totaly freaking out with excitement! Especially the one with her Professor’s name, Blackstairs like I died it was the best thing!

And the jokes god the jokes I was laughing out loud so many times! I can’t say it often enough, it was just perfect everything I wanted in one book!

Obviosly I loved that most of the book took place in London cause I love London and it is a place very close to my heart but the traveling they did, GOD I looooovvvveeeee traveling so much and when they were just like spontanusly deciding to go somewhere it made me not only happy but I want that too I want to just say that I want to go to that or that place and just do it! And the photos they took and the fun they had like I was genunly crying seeing them having so much fun, there is such a beautiful exciting and lovely experence to go travel with your friends and take fotos and have fun! Those times are the ones I love looking back at. When I think about the happyest moments in my life I imediatly think about the times I was traveling, disovering a new citiy taking fotos and evrything.... SOOOO GOOOOODD

I loved Babe and I loved that they were such good friends and I loved that she was so passionat about Disney and that her dream job was to work at Disney World like how often do you see that!!! That is so incredebly cool!

In generall I really loved the whole group and how they spend time together! Shawednsday was the best thing! And I got so sad thowords the end of their semester when they didn’t had that much time to spend together where they kind of drifted away, the saddest part was when she sepend the spring brake alone that was hearthbreaking ( I am so glad she got the chance to do everything again and make it right)! Ah and I loved how Atticus and Sahra started reading the books Shane recomended that was so sweet! I would have loved tho to see a little more of Atticus and Sahra, Atticus seamed such an interesting character and I loved how he was the who tried to help Shane after what happened with her parents.

Pilot, lets talk about Pilot, the minute we met him I got all giddy, I like him, I love his name and I love that he writes music! I enjoyed his conversations with Shane so much, their deep talks and I loved him in Paris take two so so much and at the very end in Edinburgh like that was the sweetest thing ever but I have to say tho he was so frustrating sometimes! Like jkfgfkjhgkh it was sooo clear that he had fealings for Shane and I understand that it was complicated with Amy and I get that sometimes you don’t realy now what you want but bjhdsbchsd and than when the time travel happend I understood that he didn’t know what to do and that he wanted to go back and that all was scary but it was so frustrating!!! The way he acted and how he freakt out like plese Pilot you have got a second chance here to make things right plese take it is so special plese don’t ruin it! I was more than happy when he finally understood that. I was so happy for them but I must say while in Paris take two I was a little suspicios I knew something had to go wrong and when the thing with Amy came out I was soooooo disapointed in him I was so mad at him! But he managed to get me because let’s be honest here I couldn’t be mad at him and he is so cute and he did all those cute things! I loved how he treied to help her when they where having dinner with Shanes parents I wanted to hug him so bad for that!

Speaking of Amy I do feel sorry for her but I don’t know she should have let Pilot go when he asked her to before he went to London. And she had no right to read Shane’s notebook but again it is undersandeble that she did and I was mad. For a second tho when I read that scene, before Shane released that she was reading her notenook I was like awww Amy is a reader too she likes reading, well that thought flew away quiclly...

Ok lets come to the red haied woman, I don’t want to say that I knew that something was up with her but when she apeared at the Starbucks I just knew that she would do something I want to quoute myself here, I took this note when I got to that scene: “ SCREEEEEMMMMMIIIINNNNNG the red haired women has done something! Fairy??? Wizard? Witch??? Holy crap!” I also just want to point out that I somehow imagined her looking like Cassandra Clare I don’t know why but to me this woman was Cassie!

The time travel thing was soooo amazing and so beautifuly done I have never expected it happen but I am soooo gald it did. I loved that caffe, I imagined it looking so cool! And I love time travel, like one of the books that made me a reader was about time travel and having it in this book made it even better than it already was! I loved how she did it with the elevator and everything I got so excited when all of that happend because when I got to the part when she was interviewing for the residency I was so sad and I stared crying because I was like well this is real life you don’t get the things you want and you don’t get to be who you want to be thats the reality and I got so mad because I realised that people, including me are so dump sometimes not taking chances and say and do the things they want!!! I was so sad that she lost those years living with regrets but than the time travel happend and she got a second chance and I couldn’t have been more happy!!!!

I loved how confident she got after the time travel, how she did everything different, that she decidet to talk to Babe about Pilot that she didn’t let herself give up un her dream about writing because of her parents and that she did such a good job at the internship I was soooo proud of her and I still am. I got scred when Pilot first wanted to go back and than when she wanted it too but I am so glad they stayed and worked thing out, that she found the stranght to make things right again and finnaly live the life she wanted and the life desereved. I cried when her article got published and I cried in the end reading the epiloge seeing her succed as a writer and even seeing him succeeed as a musician it was the best thing! Oh but I also love that they got to keep the memories from take one!

Oh heavens when the realisation hit me that the title “Again but better” was refering to doing London again and the things with Pilot and not college in general as I thought in the beginning like wow that moment was just wow!!!!

I brought up her parents a few times now I think is time to say a word about them too so I understand that they want her to have a good future but the way they acted was so wrong I didn’t liked them at all! I loved how in take two she proved them wrong!!!!! When they had dinner in take one I was crying for Shane that was so intense I felt so incredebly sorry for her but looking back the fact that she succeded in take two made it even better!

I already mentioned that I loved Shane and Pilot in take two well I already loved them but I mean as they got together, their little jokes and the move thing and lamppost thing that was hilarious!!! And god I loved when they filmed the youtube video together, how they sang together that was soooo cute I loved it so so much!! And his speech at the end in Edinbrough like o my god and the one in the epiloge I just couldn’t I was crying all the way!!!

I was so sad when I finished, I loved every second of it!!!! It is such a special book for me and I will treasure it forever!!! Somehow it feels good to write all of this because I am sure in a few years I am going to read it and be very glad I wrote it while the memory was fresh. Speaking of fresh, it’s been two days since I finished it and I am not ready to let it go yet, I still can’t remove the book from my nightstand nor can I start another book, it still has to sink in, I am not ready for anything new, I love it to much to let it go so soon!!!

If you made it till here thank you so much you are a hero!!!

#again but better #abb #christine riccio #polandbananasbooks

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noviceaoiryusei · 4 years

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Pia Movie Special 2020 Winter Close Up Feature : Suezawa Seiya

Entertainment interview

SUEZAWA SEIYA

"I want myself to grow as Franz"

From Kansai Johnny's Jr. unit Ae! group, Suezawa Seiya challenged roudugeki (reading theater) in his first solo starring.

While spreading an active place, even he, himself is most likely to be one of the audiences.

Leader of the group cut the challenge to his first solo stage

Formed in February 2019 which already has their own solo tour is a 6-man popular unit of Kansai Johnny's Jr. called Ae! group; it's Ae! group's member Suezawa Seiya. The stage performance "Bokura no Ae! group tte imasunen" which had a stage debut in Tokyo.

First of all, he was starring in the stage alone. The stage to be commemorated is the leading theather entitled "Kiosk". At first, "I was surprised, I thought it's a prank" it's surprisingly what I said. I heard about the work on stage from the manager but from there, I haven't heard anymore after that. I had no choice but to wonder what is it about. I was surprised because it was a starring (role).

First, I talked with my parents then, I talked about work with (Hamanaka) Bunichi-kun. When I called him and reported it, he said "really? that's great! do your best!". When I told it with the members, they said "congratulations!". Masakado (Yoshinori) jokingly said "lead role?" I've heard about it. Since it's really a lead role he said, "isn't it the opposite?". (laughs) (Fukumoto) Taisei said "I felt like crying", because of you, I have a reason to cry. (laughs) Richa (Kusama Richard Keita) was also pleased after a long time. Me and everyone was in high spirits, I'm really happy.

In the reading theater stage format which became the foothold to a full-pledged stage, since I've been working on a number of straight plays and musicals.

In the current stage performance, I haven't talked with Ishimaru-san yet. I don't know what kind of type it is so, I haven't clearly understood it. I think roudugeki (reader's theater) is the first challenge, I thought that there are many things that I need to know after I started practicing. Even if it says roudugeki (reader's theater), it is how much you use it while using your body. It's anxious and also fun, that's what I think.

The original work is by Robert Seethaler, an Austrian writer. It's a youth novel that's adapted into a film in Germany, I saw it as a reading theater (roudugeki). Suezawa plays the role of Franz who became an apprentice in a koisk when he was 17, the setting is drawn back in Vienna at 1937. He grew up surrounded by nature and came to visit Vienna. His mother's old friend is the kiosk's shopkeeper, the psychoanalysis founder, Sigmund Freud. He (Franz) fell in love with a mysterious girl.

It is a work depicting the youth during the time of Hitler's administration so, there was some feelings that comes in the end. There are lots of things that resonates the feeling, including the growth of Franz that will surely make you cry. Franz went through a lot of encounters during the time of the turmoil, learn various things from other people and becoming an adult. Franz's mother felt his growth thru their exchange of letters. I thought it's a story that is easy to get in touch with the nature while reading (it). Reading the script, I honestly felt that roudugeki (reader's theater) will be a challenge that I need to express firmly in narrating it to the audience. Vienna isn't particularly known in the image of music, from now on, I would like to know everything.

(He is) Currently 25 years old. The previous stage experience and the group's oldest (member), it's like his taste is like the youngest. It seems that the fluctuation of the 17 year old youth is delicately expressed.

Even now, there are a few roles from the actual age. (In a performance) Starring Bunichi-kun, I played a role of a 10 year old (boy). I'll try to challenge (myself) and play much younger roles as possible, I thought I need to do it well. For Franz's character, I had an impression of a simple, pure young man who came from the countryside. If you think about your own character, you need to remember that it's necessary to play it a lot purely is what I've thought. (laughs) It's not that I'm not pure but, I want to remember the feeling when I was still young. I want to improve myself with Franz.

Starring from behind his seniors

Co-starring with seniors and juniors from Johnny's office, it's the first challenge to be in a stage play without his fellow. In that sense, is there a sense of pressure and nervousness?

That's right. Because until now there's Bunichi-kun and Yara (Tomoyuki)-kun....... Of course there is pressure but, I don't think to much of it. "It's okay if you do not have to be aware that you're starring", I have received these words from my co-actor Ichiro Maki-san. It's the lead role but, of course I want to have a feeling that I can share with everyone. Ichiro-san said "I thought that I'm (your) real mother" since I've also said it (to her), I hope that I can consult with her again. From the previous experience, I wonder if each person's position as the lead character is different. Yara-kun liven up everyone with a friendly atmosphere. Bunichi-kun is a shy person so, he isn't the type who's lively but he creates the mood of the place and someone who you can be relied on. What they have in common is that they don't make others feel uneasy, I want to emulate it. Anyway, both of us don't show everyone that a lot.

I have gained a career not only in musicals but also in straight play. It says that in which you feel the charm of the stage while gaining experience is when you can say "it's a living place".

It's fun because there's no exact same performance. In every curtain call you'll feel a sense of achievement when you hear the audiences clapping. You'll absolutely don't get tired performing for each and every person. I'm still lacking in my ability. Yara-kun and Bunichi-kun have trained me and I feel that I'm changing little by little. When I went out on an external stage, I was rather negative but, both of them changed me conciousness. After I've changed my way of thinking into positive, the stress got reduced and the way I went to practice had changed.

He talks about stress "I thought it's because I can't do things". Someone said "winning is better when you're having fun".

Of course there are lots of things we can't do yet but now, having fun is much better. It became decisive. Before the first day of "Skellig", Bunichi-kun left me a phrase "it's better to throw away (that) pride". He said with a serious face "because of that, this stage play will not succeed". I might probably ashamed of myself, I think I didn't tell everything. Even from the practice you can feel Bunichi-kun's compassion. In front of everyone, he let me do something that when I'll be able to pull it out, I'll be able to go out.

This time it's the reading theater, it's supposed to be a performance using a loud voice and shows the attractiveness of one's individuality at the end.

Because of a loud voice, I want to make a song with the high tone portion but I'm anxious whether this voice will be on the reading performances. (laughs) Should I drop the key (pitch) or is it good to change the setting into Franz's? I thought it'll be different in the way of how you'll express it such as irregularity and the way you'll say it. Also, everyone start after the beginning of the practice. Now it's exciting and feeling nervous, it evenly matches the (current) status in the case of musical, straight play and this time roudugeki (reading theather). I want to try different genres so this time, I want to learn a lot!

I'm touched everytime I watch my favorite musical movie

(We'll) Transfer to the topic of his favorite movie when the title "Les Miserables" (2012) was mentioned.

I really love it! I have watched it at the cinema. I even bought the DVD and watch it repeatedly and still get touched everytime (I watched it). Everyone in the cast is singing on the spot, isn't it great!? In that sense, I've watch the stage play and even the pictures emits impact, I feel overwhelmed. Hugh Jackman is also starring in "The Greatest Showman" (2017) wherein I'm also moved (in the performance) so, I think I like musicals. If there would be a chance, I want to try starring in a musical movie someday.

The leading work of Fujiwara Tatsuya is being pulled in Japanese Movies

A splendid actor can be everyone but I think it's great to be a completely different person for each work. I felt attracted that only Fujiwara-san has that kind of voice and acting. About Ninagawa Yukio-san's stage play, I read in an interview that you should learn how to speak even if your voice is muted. I still thought that it's a difficult experience. It's hard to choose what's my favorite among his works, I've read the original (work) so I couldn't forget Death Note (2006). About the image, I've read the manga and Fujiwara-san has a great impact.

As I have been active in stage plays, I'm still inexperienced when it comes to drama, movie and video but I'm interested so if I'll be offered a work I'll immediately reply "I'm eager to do it!". One of my big dreams was to work together with my admired senior, Kimura Takuya-san.

My mother has been a fan for a long time and so it became my admiration. I think I'll be greatfully devoted.

Next spring they'll broadcast "Kyojo" (CX/20) starring Kimura Takuya. Is there a jealousy with Naniwa Danshi's Nishihata Daigo......?

I immediately contacted Daigo! I said "congratulations" and he also talked about me. (laughs) Even though (he) saw Kimura-san during Johnny (Kitagawa)-san's farewell party, Daigo's sly. (laughs) He had also co-starred with his admired (senior), Ninomiya (Kazunari)-kun. I'm thinking that I'll do my best so that someday I can be his co-star. If I can be his co-star, any role would be fine! I'll be glad to be in the same work but if possible, it would be great if we'll be on the same scene together even just for a moment. He's so cool in "Grand Mason Tokyo" (TBS/2019).

For the group, I want to be active as an actor

From now on, my dream is to expand the role that I want to play.

I'm watching various works with roles that are crazy and psychopath. I want to do it for quite some time now, it looks difficult but it's interesting. It's a dark role because there isn't much dark role on myself so, I think I'm just attracted to such characters.

Nishihata Daigo is the first, from the same (group) Naniwa Danshi, Michieda Shunsuke and Nagao Kento had appeared in drama and movies. Also from Ae! group, Masakado had appeared in the drama "Koi no Yamai to Yarougumi" (BS Fuji terebi/2019) expanding the places were they're active, it seems to be a good motivation.

Takahashi Kyohei (Naniwa Danshi) had appeared in "24 Jikan Terebi" drama entitled "Kizuna no Pedal" (NTV/2019). He's good, I thought that "I won't loose". Ae! group still hasn't explored the field of drama and movies so, I want to continue further. Also, all active activities as an actor will be an opportunity (for people) to get interested in the group, I think it's important. (In) My group, Richard is strong when it comes to variety and also because every member is individualy strong. I want to increase the number of entrances for people to know about (our) group in different genres. That's for the group, I believe it will also be for our own.

#magazine translation #末澤誠也

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oscar-piastri · 5 years

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from afar [ben hardy]

summary: you're in love with ben, but he’s already dating someone else {2k words}

notes: this is messy and sad, so i’m sorry about that

2013. The year you met Ben. It might sound cliché and cheesy, but as soon as you saw him, you were lovestruck. You had a mutual friend, and she introduced you to him when she dragged you to his rugby game. He came to you at the end of his game, and it was obvious that you were gonna be weak. You drowned is his beautiful green eyes when you made eye contact, and you were dying to have your hands in his soft blond hair. It got worse when you heard him talk.

You quickly became great friends after that day. You found out that you had a few things in common and it made you fall even more with him. Of course you couldn’t tell if Ben was feeling the same thing for you, and to be honest, you were scared to know. You enjoyed those moments spent with him, talking about movies or new music he just discovered and you weren’t ready to mess that up by bringing your growing feelings into that beautiful friendship.

“You okay?” Ben asked you, waving his hands in front of your eyes, trying to get you back into the real world.

“Yeah, why?” you questioned, not really understanding with he would ask you that.

“I don’t know… You’ve been staring at me for a few minutes” he replied, shrugging his shoulders.

“No.. Just lost in my thoughts. I’ve got a job interview, I’m thinking about that, that’s all” you lied, trying to cover the fact that you were thinking of him.

“Well I’m sure you’ll nail it. You’re the best! Well I’ve gotta run, can’t be late to practice” he said as he kissed your cheek. As you watched him walk away with his sport bag on his shoulder, you felt your cheeks getting red remembering his soft lips pressed against your cheeks.

2014. The year he introduced you to his girlfriend. Ben. It has been a year since you met him and of course you were still friends; even best friends. But you, you wanted more than that and the way he was acting, was making you believe that it could be mutual.

“Did you told him?” your friend asked you, before taking a sip of her warm tea.

“Told what to who?” you asked back, a little confused

“Told Ben that you have feelings for him” she said, as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.

“Not yet…. But I’m seeing him later” you confessed, feeling your cheeks burning as you thought of Ben’s smile.

Ben started to be more flirty with you, he’d often complimented you, he’d try to spend more time with you. So of course, your mind took the message that he was interested in you. But you were wrong, you were so wrong. You realised your mistake when you met him at the coffee shop, just to find him holding hands with someone else, and it felt like someone just slapped you in the hand on repeat. You couldn’t take your eyes away from their hands as you felt a strong pain in your heart.

You remembered his face, his eyes full of sparks and his pure smile when he introduced you to her, his girlfriend. He was so shiny and it made your heart melt, even though you still felt a pinch to your heart, every time he would look at her, wishing he was looking at you. The fact that she was beautiful and perfect for him, made it even more painful.

Ben wanted you to spend time with her, get to know her because he wanted “his best friend and his love to be friends”. So you agreed, you went shopping with her, you had a lot of girls talk, trying to push away your strong feelings for Ben.

But it kept on slowly destroyed you heart each time you would see her wearing his jersey, see him running to hug her after his game. And everytime, you’re reminded of the many scenarios you created where it was you instead of her.

2015. The year he decided to play matchmaker. When he exposed his idea of finding a boyfriend for you, you knew that he would never be interested by you.

But he took his mission very seriously, but sadly it didn’t work. He organized a lot of couple dates, introducing you to someone else each time. Of course, they were lovely, smart and funny guys, but they weren’t Ben. And just like every time, you never called them back and give a dumb excuse to Ben “he was not mature enough”, “way too tall!!”, “i don’t know… we didn’t have much in common”

“God you’re so complicated” he joked, and you faked a laugh. “You really deserve to find your special someone, just like I did” he said, pulling you into a hug.

“Oh Ben, I already found him” you said to yourself, as you pulled him closer in the hug, not wanting to let him go.

But after Ben introduced you to the thousand guy, you decided to give the guy a chance. Who knew? Maybe you could forget about Ben and find love with someone else. And as you got to know him better, you realised that he was a match. Ben really paid attention to your taste, to the things you like because you guy he set you up with, was matching everything.

You decided to give it a shot, and you started going on a few dates with Dylan, Ben’s friend. He was a sweet boy, a funny guy who could be perfect for you

2016. The year he moved in with his girlfriend. You were wrong to think that you could forget Ben with someone else, and that let your relationship with Dylan to come to an end, after a few months of dating. You hated yourself because you weren’t able to get over Ben, he was always on your mind, everything was reminding you of him. And even though you tried to push those feelings away, they’d come back hitting you on the face just a few minutes later.

You called Ben and ask him if he was free to eat lunch with you, because you wanted to announce that you broke up with Dylan. You were surprised when Ben told you that he had something to tell you as well. You were secretly hoping that he’d tell you that he broke up with his girlfriend as well.

“You go first” you told Ben when he joined you for lunch.

“I asked Vanessa to move in with me, and she said yes!” he told you all excited. His smile was big and his eyes were full of life, happiness could be read on his face. Your smile quickly fade away and that raised Ben’s confusion.

“What’s wrong? You’re not happy?” he asked you, a little bit disappointed. He didn’t think you’d have this reaction and it made him a little bit sad.

“Not! This is great new! I’m happy for you!!” you lied, trying your best to reassure him. “It’s just that… I broke up with Dylan yesterday.” you explained. Ben was quick to apologize for bringing his happiness in front of you while you were probably at your worst because of the break up. It was true that Dylan was the perfect guy, but he wasn’t Ben.

“Don’t worry, Ben. I’m fine. It’s life, things happen” you said, shrugging your shoulders. Of course you weren’t really sad about the breakup, because you weren’t really attached to Dylan.

“I’m sorry he wasn’t the one for you” Ben apologized, giving you a sad look.

A few days later, you got a text from Ben, more like an invite to his flat to spend some time together. You were hoping to have a cool night, just like before, pizzas, a movie or maybe playing some games. But when you got there, you found his whole decoration changed, pictures of him and his girlfriend hanging pretty much everywhere, and you felt like someone was stabbing you in the heart. There was no pizzas, no movies playing, but there was a nice table dressed with three plates, some soft music playing in the background. Great, grown up dinner.

You realised right away that now that he was sharing his flat with his girlfriend, everything would be different. You would no longer spend the night just the two of you, talking. Now, she was in the picture, changing your habits.

She politely greeted you when she saw you but she quickly went back to be by Ben’s side, kissing his cheeks every now and then, and all you could do was watch them being so in love. They were perfect for each others, and it made it so much worse

2018. The year he proposed. Over the years, you managed to stay friends with Ben and accept his relationship.

Ben asked you to join him at a specific address, and when you got here you saw that it was a jewelry store, and you understood right away.

“Shit, Ben! You’re going to propose?!” you almost yelled, when you got to him. He nodded nervously

“I need your help for the ring” he shyly explained. You stay silent for a few seconds but you eventually agreed to help him.

In the store, you looked at every ring, and each time you found yourself thinking “I wish it was me”. You got interrupted by a woman. “How sweet is that, your boyfriend is offering you a beautiful gift” she said, pointing at Ben and you blushed like crazy.

“Oh no! We’re not dating! I’m his best friend. Only here to help him choose a engagement ring” you explained right away.

“Well, she’s a lucky girl!” she said before leaving you

“That, she is” you mumbled. “She’s very lucky”

You walked around in the store for a few more minutes, not really paying attention to the rings, when Ben called you.

“I found the perfect ring. She’s gonna love it!” he exclaimed, overjoyed. You looked at the ring he was showing you and he was right: it was the perfect ring. The ring you were dying to have but that you would never, because Ben would never have romantic feelings for you. His heart was already taken, by a beautiful and awesome woman.

2019. the year he got married. You attended the ceremony, of course you did! He was so excited when he invited you, you couldn’t say no to his beautiful face. And to be honest, you wished you never came: while everyone was cheering and smiling, you were forcing yourself to put on a fake smile, closing your eyes every time there was an important moment, such as the ring exchange. Ben was looking so handsome in his tux and it made everything more painful.

As the priest said those famous words “You may kiss the bride” you saw in your head Ben and Vanessa’s first dance as a married couple, the moment they’ll announce they’ll have a baby and the flashbacks of every moments you spent with Ben. You saw yourself in the wedding dress, you dreamt of that wedding. And you couldn’t take any more of this pain.

You got up and left the ceremony when Ben kissed his now wife. Everyone was whispering things, making the couple stop and they turned to face the crowd when they heard your heels on the ground, echoing in the church as you ran to the door.

You couldn’t believe what you had just did, left and probably ruined your best friend’s wedding. But you really couldn’t handle this situation anymore. The ceremony was too hard for you and your heart couldn’t take it anymore. You were madly in love with Ben, but he was in love with someone else. And all you can do is watch from afar, as he lives the life he always wanted while you’re drowning in your feelings.

#ben hardy #ben hardy x reader #ben hardy imagines #ben hardy imagine #ben hardy one shot #p: ben hardy #w*#*

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queerhargreeves · 5 years

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Finish Your Thought

Diego’s stutter resurfaces after the apocalypse. The siblings handle the situation better than he expected and they learn more than they thought they knew about their brother.

It doesn’t happen immediately. Diego, just like the rest of the family, needed a week or so to just sit on and process the events that just happened. They successfully avoided the end of the world. Five is back, but he’s not the same person they all remember and he never will be. Klaus went to war. Klaus is capable of so much more. Ben can be back in their lives. Vanya has powers, stronger than all of them. Allison may never speak again. Reginald lied to them all more than they ever could have believed. Eudora was dead. They were together again.

It was a lot to take in. That first week back together, the seven siblings were raw. They walked on eggshells around each other, not wanting to cause any more pain to one another. They had spent entirely too long doing that.

Diego woke up three weeks after the almost end of the world in his childhood room. He could hear the soft sounds of his siblings and mom making breakfast downstairs, the smell of bacon wafting its way up into his room. He smiled softly at the domesticity of it all,

“A family, huh?” Diego thought to himself, still unable to fully wrap his head around that concept. There had been so many years of radio silence between the six of them. So many years of pent up feelings and frustrations with one another and their respective situations. Sure, he’d seen Klaus a few times here and there, but the visits were never entirely pleasant. It was either an OD visit, which always ended in tears and unresolved issues, or running into him as he was too out of himself to even remember his own name let alone Diego’s. Yeah, they all still had a lot to unpack.

His stomach growling got himself out of his thoughts; his body is right, these conversations can happen another time. He quickly stretched and started his small morning routine attempting to keep some sort of normalcy in his life. He dropped down to the floor and did 50 push ups, 50 sit ups, and 100 crunches. He took pride in his body and strength, something he always had to work for harder than his siblings. Well, harder than Number One at least.

Once finished and feeling slightly flushed, he washed his face and teeth and threw on the first shirt he saw in his dresser. As he made his way downstairs, the current hot topic of conversation became more clear.

“Klaus we have been over this literally a thousand times. Donuts are both a breakfast food and dessert, not just exclusively breakfast. Nothing that sugary should be qualified as ‘just breakfast’. ” Ben emphasizes, a hint of annoyance in his tone but it’s mostly light, playful banter.

“Benny dear, I hear you, I really do. But why do cops get donuts for breakfast, huh? It’s not dessert breakfast, it’s a breakfast food!”

“Is this conversation entirely necessary this early.” Five deadpans.

“Discourse is always necessary, baby old bro! Oh, Diego!” Klaus waved at him from his seat on the table, literally on the table, with a grin on his face.

Diego waved back, beelining to the pot of coffee. He grabbed himself a plate of waffles and bacon, kissing his mom on the cheek as he did so.

“Children, breakfast is ready! Everyone go on and have a seat, I’ll serve you. I mean in a chair, Klaus. Diego here couldn’t wait another minute though.” Grace teased, winking at her son. He just blushed and sat down with his siblings, sandwiched between Ben and Allison. Ben didn’t need to eat, but he enjoyed spending the mornings with his family regardless.

Grace made her way and placed a plate of food in front of each of her kids, humming along as she did so. “There we are. If you children need anything else, I’ll be doing laundry.”

“Thanks mom!” Klaus called as she left the kitchen, his mouth half full of food.

They all ate in relative silence besides a few comments from Klaus about the food or the weather. Diego was appreciative for the useless banter, not that he’d ever admit it out loud. After everything, Klaus was still Klaus.

“Could you p-pass the syrup V-v-van” Diego cut himself off, mortified. Six heads whipped around to stare at their brother, their faces littered with different degrees of concern. Their brother hadn’t spoken all morning, but that wasn't too unusual. He wasn’t a morning person. This, however, was concerning.

“Hey, hey no it’s okay. Finish your thought, Diego.” Klaus spoke up softly, his tone missing it’s usual sarcasm. Diego clenched his jaw, that statement all too familiar.

A lot of the times his siblings would try to finish the sentence for Diego when he would struggle to vocalize his thoughts properly. Usually Luther, out of annoyance. But Klaus was always the first one to shut his siblings up, insisting they give Diego the agency to finish his own thought. Diego was always grateful for Klaus for that, for never judging him. For being there.

“I d-don’t know w-w-w-why,” Diego let out a frustrated groan, slamming his knife (well, the knife from Grace’s kitchen set) in the table. Allison softly grabbed his wrist, trying to get his fist to uncurl so tightly around the utensil. He met his sisters eyes, filled with nothing but kind, non judgemental compassion.

“It’s okay.” She mouthed, rubbing circles on top of his hand. She never understood what not having control over your voice felt like. It was a privilege, something she always dismissed when they were kids. She felt horrible about how easily she was to pass judgement 15 years ago.

“Diego,” Five started gently, talking almost as if was approaching a feral animal. To be fair, Diego’s temper sometimes made him act like one. “If I may, I believe this may be a residual side effect of the last couple of weeks. Your stutter only comes out now under a heavy amount of distress, correct?”

Diego nodded, his shoulders still hunched. They all noted how he was continuing to curl in on himself, almost fearing the reaction of his siblings. God, had they really been that cruel before?

“Well, all things considered, I’d definitely count the events we’ve experienced as very distressing. Your disability is not your fault, Diego. I had a lot of time to read in the apocalypse. Being alone permits you a lot of free time, you know?” Five looked down, tugging at the end of his sleeve with his hand. He hadn’t talk about what he experienced during the apocalypse much, this vulnerability rare.

“I found a book on speech disorders in the library. It was one of the only ones that survived. I um,” He cleared his throat, “I learned a lot about speech impediments and the underlying neurological causes. It certainly opened my eyes.”

“Why don’t we wait it out and play it by ear,” Five continued, waving his hand in the air. “If it persists, we can help you work on it if you so wish to choose.”

Before Diego could respond, Luther spoke up.

“I don’t want to make the same mistakes I did the first time, Diego. Dad always said that you were lazy, not trying hard enough.” He shifted in his seat, clearly uncomfortable showing this amount of emotion, “But Dad has been wrong about a lot of things. And that was one of them.”

Diego’s mouth gaped open, his brows furrowed in confusion. Luther, the oh so obedient soldier, admitted he was wrong. And that Reginald was wrong. To his face, in front of everyone. This was certainly a new development for their family.

“I appreciate th-that, Luther and F-f-f-” He found himself once again cutting the sentence off, hoping they got the idea. Diego couldn’t help but feel ashamed of his impediment, even after hearing his brothers talk so candidly. Call it years of trauma from Reginald, drilling the thought of his stutter being his fault into his head. He’d been beaten, belittled, and mocked tirelessly for it as a child. Anytime he stumbled over his words, whether it was in front of Eudora or his family, he couldn’t help but feel that stomach dropping anxiety that lingered from his childhood.

“Diego, please. It’s okay. Go on, finish your thought.” Vanya said gently, insisting her brother he was safe to speak.

“Reginald l-l-locked me in the t-t-tank for seven h-hours once a-after I st-stuttered during an interview.” He chuckled lightly, his grip on Allison’s hand tightening ever so slightly, “E-everytime h-he heard me, I’d g-g-get sh-shit for it, you know? S-slapped, w-whipped, mocked. It’s f-fucked.”

The sibling were silent, sitting appalled in their seats as their brother’s story unfolded before them. They knew Reggie wasn’t a fan of his speech, but they didn’t realize he went to such extreme lengths to punish Diego.

“Speech th-therapy h-h-helped. It still should, I know all th-the tr-tricks. M-my trigger l-letters.” He felt himself getting more frustrated as he went on, “I d-don’t know w-w-why they’re not w-working.”

“Hey, we’ll help you figure it out, okay?” Ben reached across the table and pat his hand that was intertwined in Allison’s, relishing in the fact that he could physically comfort his siblings again.

“We have to help Vanya reign in her powers, help Klaus explore his. Helping you with your speech is literally the least of our worries.” Five quipped, his dimple prominent with that shit eating grin on his face.

“My dear Van-Van and I will be the biggest hurdle, my good brother.” Klaus said with pride, clapping triumphantly at his chest. The rest of the family burst into laughter.

“You mean you will be, Klaus.” Ben jested, causing an offended squeal and a blueberry to the face from the dramatic man.

“You wound me! Did I ever tell you guys about the time Benny here convinced me to wax my ass with chocolate pudding? Because let me tell you, it hurt like hell!”

Diego felt himself relax as the topic of conversation shifted to something more light, thankful again for his eccentric brother. He was feeling a lot lighter himself compared to the start of breakfast. He kept having to remind himself that the Hargreeves are not the same people they were a few weeks ago, and thank god for it. He loved his family and they loved him. Things were starting to be okay.

#diego hargreeves #tua #tua fanfic #the umbrella academy fanfic #fanfiction #klaus hargreeves #ben hargreeves #five hargreeves #luther hargreeves #luther friendly #vanya hargreeves #allison hargreeves

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numbah34 · 5 years

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A Happy Holiday season to all! This year, I’m bringing the PIE.

I hope you’ve saved room for a little additional speculation, because this is a little something I’ve been working on for about 10 days now, and I think it’s gonna be delicious.

*ahem.* Food metaphors aside, here we go:

In order to hypothesize about the true endgames, I’m going to pull from some quotes, explore the definition of “endgame,” and reference some potential evidence that season 8 provided for us.

*Before you continue reading, it is important to note that this is a meta about Plance/Pidgance/Flirtyrobot/26-other-ship-names-I’m-not-listing-them-all, or the relationship between Pidge and Lance. If this particular ship is not your cup of tea, please do not feel obligated to read further, but still have a lovely day!*

When we use the term “endgame”, we tend to define it as the ultimate relationship one or more characters ends up in by the end of the series. Ideally, we like our endgames to be confirmed by canon, but, if they are not and there hasn’t been anything shown to directly refute it, we can often be happy in believing that our faves will get together after the final curtain. Headcanon to fill the gaps, etc, etc.

Plance, however, is a different story. In fact, it is my assertion that they are, in fact, each other’s endgame, as they are surrounded by an incredible amount of evidence to support such a statement, both by canon in-show, in-comic, and in-book, and by answers provided by showrunners and cast alike. Let’s break it down:

1. Lance will end up with someone he needs; what he thought he wanted is not what he needed. (Can I take a moment to complain here a little? I feel like everytime someone asked about ships, they asked in regard to Lance. Did no one ever ask about Pidge and if she would have an endgame? I’m just saying. That would have been helpful information.) I won’t spend a lot of time on this quote, as it has been broken down in just about every plance meta you can find from early on. I will add: throughout the series, Lance has been shown to be the paladin who tries to use humor to lighten heavy situations. If he can crack a joke about it, the others might not laugh, but the mood will become a little less dire. Humor tends to breed hope in those times. Pidge appropriately labeled him as a goofball, I believe not because she thought he was ridiculous, but because she honestly appreciated his humor and his desire to have fun. While Pidge would, many times, roll her eyes at Lance’s jokes, Allura never laughed at them. She would generally look cross, or glare at him, whenever he would try; for example, when he tried to get her to laugh by pretending to read what he was going to say off his hand, and... it did not go over well. And he had to switch tactics and offer comforting words instead. This seemed to be a common theme over their interactions. He was never able to fully be himself around her.

2. Lance will be someone’s first choice. ...And I would assume that would mean that the someone in question would actually want to choose to spend time around him. Let’s be clear about something: at no point, even in their dating relationship, was Lance Allura’s first choice. Just from season 8: when he finally asked her out, she was ready to turn him down so she could go watch a comatose, unresponsive Altean who actively tried to kill them (a different spin on the “I can’t, I have to wash my hair...”), until Romelle and Hunk peer pressured her into it, not by recommending Lance’s finer points but by telling her she needed to relax (Hunk seriously what kind of wingman are you); if there was an option between Lance and the Alteans, she would pick the Alteans every time; she reminded Lance so many times that he couldn’t possibly understand what she was going through that I was about to turn it into a drinking game; on Clear Day, she could have taken that time to go have fun and relax with him, but instead she chose to stay on the ship with the dark probably evil entity that she eerily mentioned was trying to talk to her, WHAT were you THINKING, Allura, you could have been having fun with your friends and taking your mind off things that way! There was NO ONE THERE TO HELP YOU!; when the entity was picking people to try to convince her to release it, it only picked Lance for a hot second before moving on to Lotor; every time we saw Lotor/something representing Lotor in the same scene as Allura, she had a much more emotional response than she ever did for Lance; when she took the entity in and introduced the dangerous plan, his voice was the one she did not want to listen to (and we start seeing some cracks in the ship, too, as he becomes irritated not only that she would endanger herself like this, but also because his thoughts and concerns DO NOT MATTER TO HER); every time he would tell her he loved her, she would question him, or remain silent, until the end when it just felt hollow.

Pidge, meanwhile... well, we’ve catalogued in metas from s1-s7 how she would choose to be around him, from Space Mall to the Feud, etc., and season 8 did not actually short us on Pidge continuing to choose Lance. It started in the first episode, when she found out Lance had asked out Allura. At that point, her choices regarding him involved what she thought would make him happy. Sometimes, that meant doing things like giving up a game they could have enjoyed together or spending her time at the Clear Day carnival earning tickets to get something [actually sparkly] to take back to Allura instead of for herself, and sometimes that meant backing off and giving them space. I’ll touch more on that point in a moment (and you’ll see why that is, in fact, a pun), so stay tuned.

3. Allura will not have an endgame. I’m paraphrasing a bit here, but I believe there was a quote from one of the various interviews floating out there about Allura not having a definite endgame. (I could be wrong, and if I am, please let me know!) Well... that’s not wrong. Allura did not have an endgame, because her character did not make it to the end of the show (which, btw, I’m still sad about. She is an amazing character, and I wanted nothing but a happy ending for her. This season did not end up making me a fan of A//urance, but that is not ever how I would have wanted that ship to end, either.).

4. Lance will have an endgame. I’ll say it again. Allura was not Lance’s endgame. While she may have given him marks (I don’t think for a second she made him Altean, more like gave him a glowy little quintessence tattoo), she was not with him at the end of the show.

So. Who was Lance’s endgame, then? I am absolutely certain, without them having outright confirmed it, that Pidge was Lance’s endgame.

While we might have gotten very few Pidge and Lance interactions in season 8, the ones we got and the ones that were missing are telling. I mentioned in point #2 that Pidge backed off and gave Allura and Lance space while they were dating; at first, I found that frustrating, because I love Lance & Pidge interactions. But... I would have found it even more frustrating if they had continued while Lance was dating someone else. (That would have reeked of Pidge trying to steal Lance from Allura, and there is nothing in Pidge’s character arc about her trying to split people up; if anything, her arc of trying to reunite her family has made her more of a unifying character.) For 7 seasons previous, we find several instances of Lance being in Pidge’s personal space, sometimes even resting his arm across her back, and her allowing him into her personal bubble. But, while Lance and Allura are dating, he and Pidge do not touch. They continue to be framed together in some scenes, and Clear Day really underlined how, when they are around each other, they come alive. They bring out the best in each other in ways you don’t see in their interactions with the other characters. But I digress. For our final canonical evidence clues, let’s take a look at the final scenes in the last episode.

For the vast majority of the series, comics included, Lance and Pidge follow each other in the narrative. We see this again, as we move from a scene where Pidge is excitedly leaving to meet her friends, to a scene where Lance is giving a little school group talk to some little Alteans about how neat Princess Allura was (aside: let’s not begrudge him that, please, because she was really great, and you don’t have to have dated her to recognize that. She loved all her found family, Lance was just the one to receive markings). As he is looking up at Allura’s statue, a wormhole opens and the green lion comes through, drawing his attention to the lion and its pilot. The smile spread across his face is the one we have grown to associate with Lance, and he just looks more himself.

In the epilogue photos, we learn that Pidge and her family are on earth, training up the next group of legendary defenders. We also learn that Lance is on earth, living and working on his family’s farm. Some things to pay attention to:

1. They are both doing work that honors Allura’s memory and sacrifice. Allura had said in the Feud that Pidge and her family would be the most likely to be able to continue her father’s legacy, which was a very important thing to Allura’s character. Lance, apart from giving the occasional field trip talk, is growing juniberries, a flower Allura had once thought extinct, and that she associated heavily with Altea and Altean culture. He might not have understood alchemy, or other parts of their culture, but Lance and his family are farmers, and they do understand plants; this is something he can do that honors her memory. I’m going to emphasize that, when you lose someone you love, you do find yourself doing things to honor their memory; it does not, however, mean that you are miserable for the rest of your life.

2. They are both on Earth. Hunk, Keith, and Shiro are all off doing their own thing, Coran is on Altea (or the Atlas? Was the epilogue specific about what he was up to?), but Pidge and Lance are still in close proximity with each other. Further, Lance’s farm is cultivating a flower that only one botanist from the Garrison figured out how to grow and care for, and that botanist happens to be Pidge’s mom. Not to mention Lance still has Kaltenecker... And, in more than one publication, he talks about getting together with Pidge to play video games. All I’m saying is, they have plausible reasons for visiting each other more frequently.

3. Finally, let’s take a look at the last photos, because I noticed something odd:

In the first picture, it looks like everyone had finished crowding in for the picture, and Lance once again has an arm draped on Pidge (they are finally touching again!), and Pidge is leaning closer to him (hello angling, my old friend). Then you get to the second shot, and… Lance is doing something odd with his hand. You could almost think it was a gesture, but it looks to me more like he was in the middle of reaching to put his hand directly on Pidge’s shoulder. It even looks a little less focused, like he was moving when the picture was snapped. I mean, if he’s not… then what the actual heck is he doing?

Also, the color of those glasses Pidge is wearing... I know, I know, color reaching, but still. And, as this post pointed out, if you check out Chuchule’s tail, he is making a little heart shape in both pictures.

To conclude: while they did not explicitly state it, after 8 seasons of evidence of growth, there is a strong implication that Pidge and Lance are each other’s endgame. We might not have gotten to watch it happen, but... my plance are in bloom. How about yours?

#plance #pidgance #flirtyrobot #vlds8 #plancehasachance #plance meta #PIE for the win #this got a lot longer than i was expecting #i hope it didn’t come across as salty #a lot of s8 i enjoyed #the romance was clunky though #and it almost felt like we weren’t supposed to like it #but then that would’ve made the final episode weirder #more i feel like the s8 writers didn’t realize what they had in terms of relationship chemistry #but...they left it open-ended and gave us the gift of further speculations #so thanks guys

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deafgaynerd · 5 years

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when you love her

A Miraculous Ladybug fic about Adrien/Chat’s love for Marinette/Ladybug based on the new Jonas Brothers song, Love Her.

Read it on AO3

Drive me crazy, make me mental

No other buttons she can push

They don’t fight often, but when Chat Noir and Ladybug are fighting, Ladybug always knows just what button to press to end the fight. They rarely fight, because his Lady never wants to hurt him, and any negative feelings between the pair could be easily exploited by Hawkmoth. Besides, after every fight, when Chat turned back to Ladybug, the sheepish smile and apologies that spilled out of her mouth for what she said melted him. Her temper flared easily, but she was never one to stay mad at him.

Marinette, sweet, nice, wonderful Marinette, had a temper outside of the mask too. Adrien, both as himself and as Chat, witnessed this constantly. Whenever it wasn’t directed at him he often stood in awe. She always stood up for what was right, and was not willing to even let a silly little thing as liking a boy to stop her when there was an injustice.

One second she's Miss Sentimental

Then she’s afraid she's said too much

Being a superhero with a dedicated website that captures everything that happens comes in handy sometimes. Especially when you have those “let’s go back and see what we were doing two years ago” moments. If there is a calm moment and nothing seems to be happening while they’re on patrol on one of those days, Ladybug will go grab snacks from home and go meet up on the top of the Eiffel Tower with Chat, who had grabbed his laptop and they would watch videos of them when they were first starting out.

Before the reveal, Ladybug would often let slip little details from her life as Marinette and Chat would soak them all up and she would freak out. They couldn’t divulge their identities, it was too reckless, and she would make Chat swear time and time again that he wouldn’t try to figure out her identity from all the things she let slip. He would promise, cross his heart, and he kept that promise.

After the reveal, they would watch the videos and reminisce on how young and oblivious they were. Marinette would often laugh about how stubborn she was about identities when the love of her life and her best friend were of course, one and the same. Adrien would shake his head and hold her tight. It was one of these occasions when Marinette first told Adrien she loved him. To her, it was way too early in their relationship for that confession and she went bright red and hid her face in his chest, only to feel him shaking with laughter and picking up her head. He told her that he loved her too, and that he always had.

Opposites attract and we're the livin’ proof of this

But I keep on comin' back like a magnet

Their approach to akumas and to dealing with their biggest secrets were starkly different. Ladybug wanted to keep their identities separate, they could not afford to know each other’s secrets, especially when they were children and new to the whole superhero job. Chat Noir, on the other hand, wanted to know his Lady’s name and face more than anything. It was the biggest thing that mattered to him. For akumas, Chat was always charging in, trying to fight first and often ended up getting knocked down because of it. Ladybug was the opposite, she often surveyed her situation and thought everything out logically, especially once she had her Lucky Charm.

Chat Noir was told time and time again that he should move on. He knew he should, and he really did try. As Adrien, he looked around his class and tried to will himself to have a crush on any of the girls (except Chloe, he’d done that before and he still dealt with the consequences to this day). The closest he ever came to crushing on someone was the sweet girl who sat behind him. His only two problems were that he just could not get over Ladybug and that Marinette really seemed not to like him. He learned just how perfect it was that she was the one he had tried to like after the reveal, of course, but before the reveal he just kept going back to Ladybug.

'Cause when you love her

No matter the fight you know she's always right

And it's alright

And they say love can hurt

But seein' her smile can get you every time

Yeah, every time

Because you love her, la-la-lala-lala

Love her, yeah

Anytime that they bickered about identities or how to react and fight an akuma, Chat Noir always yielded. Sometimes he was technically right in some instances with akumas, but he always let his Lady win. Whenever she was wrong, she always apologized and listened to him, and whenever she was right, she didn’t gloat. Chat just knew, no fight was really worth it, not when he loved Ladybug as much as he did.

Chat Noir loved Ladybug for a lot longer than she even knew, because she mostly didn’t believe him. He told her fairly often in the beginning, when he had just fallen in love. As time went on he only would tell her after there was a scary he-might-lose-her accident or whenever dealt with an akuma so brilliantly that all he could do was stand and admire her. She brushed it off, because how could he love her when he only knew Ladybug, right? Everytime she brushed it off, it hurt his heart, because how could she not believe him? She was the best person he had ever met and was so kind and wonderful, how could he not fall in love with the spotted superhero? Then she would look at her kitty and smile at him, and he melted, always. Just the sight of his Lady’s smile made him the happiest man in the world.

It also worked that way after the reveal, Chat or Adrien would see Marinette smile and basically be putty at her feet. When she started smiling with love, he didn’t think that he would survive. Alya and Nino would often tease him because there were definitely times where just a small smile from Marinette could have Adrien blushing and reaching out to her.

I put my selfish ways in boxes

And shipped 'em back to where they came

Will never let it get close to bein' toxic

And I promise I’ll never walk away

Despite being very giving and often being very nice, Adrien was still an Agreste, and he was still accustomed to a certain lifestyle. As much as he worked at being selfless and giving, there were times that the spoiled rich kid selfishness slipped through the cracks. Thankfully for him, Marinette never judged him too harshly while still bringing him back down to normal, public school kid level.

Chat Noir would occasionally get jealous of the way that Ladybug got everything, the reporters, the fans, the attention. He got some, sure, but most people saw him as the sidekick, as the less important one. Sometimes, selfish thoughts of I should be getting the attention after akumas where he felt like he did good work or when she would go and do many more interviews with all the different reporters. His Lady even had a blog completely dedicated to her, and he was featured, but it was about Ladybug mostly. However, whenever he did get upset about these things, he often just talked it out with Ladybug instead of holding onto resentment and risking his feelings turning into something toxic that could affect their effectiveness in battling akumas and working together. Talking things out with his partner would always confirm just how much he would always stick by her side.

Gotta learn to let the small things go

And know it's always far from perfect

There were so, so, so many times that just a side comment from either Ladybug or Chat Noir would hit just right for the other person and they would get upset. These were often unintentional and hit them hard because it was something that hurt them behind the mask. After some silence or some tears, the pair always talked it out and walked away from the situation understanding just a little bit more of the other.

Sometimes Marinette would just get a little tired of the perfect cookie-cutter Adrien that would often present itself at school, especially as they grew older and she was finally able to talk to him as a normal person and got to know him. She understood that he had to represent the Agreste brand and be the perfect role model but that didn’t mean that he just had to be a bland boring person sitting in front of her. She knew him now, she knew that he really did have a personality and seeing him hide it away would sometimes just get to be too much and annoy her. Ironically, Marinette getting annoyed at him for this annoyed Adrien. Why should he have to conform to her specific wishes, especially when he was an Agreste and Gabriel Agreste was expecting him to act a certain way? Not to mention that if he didn’t conform to his father’s wishes he wouldn’t be allowed to go to school with Mari and his friends any longer and that was really what he wanted most. The key to a good friendship is conversation and the pair often settled these annoyances by talking through it. Marinette really just wanted Adrien to be himself, because she knew better now. Adrien just wanted to be able to stay in school. They would often compromise, with Adrien agreeing to loosen up at least a little at school which always made Marinette happy and gave him a warm feeling when he would catch her smiling at him. After the reveal, these conversations and annoyances seemed to pile up because now Marinette knew how Adrien really was more than before.

And I know that we can get emotional

But the hardest parts are always worth it

The reveal was probably one of the biggest emotional parts of the miraculous duo’s relationship. How could it not be, with finding out that they really had been in a love square with just the two of them. Of course the first person to find out was Alya. The reporter had finally put two and two together and realised she ran a blog dedicated to her best friend. Once she found out about Marinette, she started going through just who could be Chat Noir and compiled a list. She narrowed the list based on the facts that the akuma attacks would bring her. Chat Noir was always fast to the scene whenever someone at their school was akumatized, her biggest clue. The fact that the only thing that changed for Marinette was her mask and her suit, so Alya assumed that the same would be the same for Chat. Between those facts, the fact that only two people in their class had not been akumatized ever and those two people were constantly making terrible excuses whenever there was an akuma attack, Alya puzzled out just who Ladybug’s crime fighting partner was. She knew that Chat Noir was none other than Adrien Agreste.

Figuring out their identities gave Alya the perfect opportunity to play matchmaker. She enlisted the help of Nino, because one, she already knew he was Carapace and he knew she was Rena Rouge, and two, Nino was Adrien’s best friend and she needed him to help get Adrien to go along with everything. When Nino heard her out about knowing the identities he started laughing, because of course the four main crime fighting superheroes of Paris were none other than himself, his girlfriend, his best friend, and his girlfriend’s best friend. He had often called their group “The Core Four” and now it rang even truer.

Alya decided that the best way for this reveal to be pulled off was for Ladybug to let the two of them keep their miraculous after a fight. This proved to be a little difficult but with how many akumas kept popping up that were getting stronger and stronger Ladybug did eventually agree. After securing hers and Nino’s miraculous, Alya quickly set up a blind date. This blind date, of course, was for her best friends but Marinette and Adrien didn’t know that. She set them up on the date and they were having a fun time after getting over the original awkwardness of a blind date, because they had just decided that they would eat as friends for now. They were in a smaller, secluded restaurant that not many people knew about which would help Alya achieve the next part of her plan.

Once the two had mostly finished their meals, Rena Rouge and Carapace ran into the restaurant looking directly at the two of them and announcing that Ladybug and Chat Noir were needed, quickly, and they were going to meet on the top of the building. Marinette immediately excused herself to the bathroom, as did Adrien and nearly a minute later Ladybug and Chat Noir were on the roof waiting for the other pair of superheroes.

On the roof there was a blanket set out with dessert and candles and it all seemed very romantic and the main superhero pair were extremely confused. Once Carapace and Rena Rouge had jumped to the roof of the building the questions started. Rena just shook her head, laughing, because of course these two hadn’t even realised what they just did. She looked to Carapace and commented on just how fast that Ladybug and Chat Noir had arrived at the rooftop when all they had done so far was walked into a restaurant where Adrien and Marinette were eating looking for the cat and bug superheroes. With that, Chat and his Lady had started stuttering and making excuses before Rena looked at them and insisted that she knew and that they needed to tell each other.

Ladybug and Chat Noir looked between each other and their teammates before Ladybug sighed and sat down on the blanket in front of the dessert, understanding that this was what had to happen now. Gesturing to Chat to sit down she said bye to Nino and Alya watching Chat’s shocked face at learning who Carapace and Rena Rouge were underneath their masks. He sat down in front of his Lady, nervous about what was swiftly approaching.

Ladybug quickly started freaking out, because she was sure that Chat wouldn’t like her as much as her civilian self versus as Ladybug and that he would hate who she was. Chat quickly dispelled her worries by once again telling her he loved her, no matter who she was. In a sign of good faith towards her, he suggested that instead of revealing themselves one at a time that they would both release their transformations and look at each other on the count of three.

Three seconds. Those three seconds were the longest three seconds they would ever experience, full of anxiety, anticipation, fear, and excitement. They were going to know who each other were, in three seconds. Ladybug knew that this was for sure the hardest moment of her life so far, because having her two identities combine was overwhelming.

Three.

Two.

One.

With a flash of pink and green, their transformations dropped and the two teenagers looked up at each other sitting across their dessert. Once the realisation set in, they were laughing, they were crying, they were joking, and they were smiling. Marinette questioned his true love for Ladybug and how that stood now, because he had been so adamant she had started to believe it. He moved to sit next to her and grabbed her hands, reassuring her that the combination of Ladybug with Marinette made him fall deeper in love with her. Marinette looked at him like he was mental, before admitting that she had always had a crush on Adrien and asking him if he would ever like to go on a real date sometime, shocking him as well as herself. He easily agreed and then looked at her, laughing. Joking with her about their crazy love square that they had ended up in because of the whole secret identities thing.

They spent most of that night cuddling together in the candlelight, before separating with a promise of that real date the next day.

'Cause when you love her

No matter the fight you know she's always right

And that's alright

And they say love can hurt

But seein' her smile will get you every time

Yeah, every time

Because you love her, la-la-lala-lala

Love her, yeah

Adrien married Marinette once they had gotten older. He knew that he had to, because he was just so in love with her. He knew that no matter their struggles or their little speed bumps that they had to face, they were perfect for each other; he knew that they were soulmates. So they did what soulmates do, stay together forever, because every struggle was worth it, just to be with her and make his new wife, Marinette Agreste, smile.

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pseudonymfox · 6 years

Text

Don’t let go again (3)

Sebastian Stan x Reader

Chris Hemsworth x Reader (platonic)

Summary: Sebastian meets you, a model, on a event and spends time with you. Later he finds something interesting about her out…

This Part: Their first date and (Y/N) is surprising her Brother and Seb in a interview and you join family feud with the avengers

Request by anon: I’m hoping you still asking for requests.. So would you be able to one about Sebastian Stan meeting a model at an event and spends the night with her and finds out she isn’t like the ‘normal model type’ then maybe the next day finds out she’s a Hemsworth.

Warnings: fluff

A/N: Tags are at the end.

Series Masterlist - Masterlist

The first dates with you went really well even better they were perfect. You would sometimes drive out of the city for a picnic, just go on walks in a park or watching movies. He felt like he was on a cloud with you, everything felt so normal when he was around you like the word stopped spinning and he could be for one moment just relax. No rush and stress about his job, interviews or paparazzi, they are still present and he can feel them taking pictures of you but in same moment he didn’t care about them, he didn’t have to hide you and when you would notice that you were followed from them you would wave them and do silly poses for them just for them to know that they aren’t unnoticed by you but then would continue in whatever you were doing like nothing happened. Both of your free time was sadly already over, he had to continue a lot of press and interviews and you still had a week of with just a few smaller jobs.

One day he had a interview with Chris hemsworth in a hotel in New york and right afterwards he had a to go to another one with Winston Duke and Anthony Mackie and then he would go with them to the late late show with James Corden. His day schedule was more than full and he was tired but over the whole day he waited for a message from you because he knew that you could brighten his day up. He didn’t get one because he knew that you were up till 4am and didn’t have time to chat and he understood it completely of course, he as a actor had the same problem so why wouldn’t he respect that.

“Sebastian!“ Chris clapped his hand on his shoulder to get his attention.

“Sorry, I’m just soo tired..-What was the question?“ he apologized and continued the interview for a little while but he couldn’t really concentrate on anything. He thought back and forth between what happened the last few weeks with you. After the interview went on and on they got interrupted by someone knocking on the door and it wasn’t just anyone it was (Y/N) with coffee. He kept on telling you that you are some kind of an angel to him because you would always come around a random corner to his rescue.

“Hey you guys!“ you said smiling from ear to ear with the coffee in your hand. You hugged everyone and the interviewer pulled a chair out for you.

“(Y/N) Hemsworth just joined us and there is already my first question. How does it come that you? Was-was like planned?“ she asked nervously.

“Funny story. I was in the room down the hall you know finishing a photoshoot and my makeup artist told me that my brother is.. well down the hall and now here I am bringing you coffee” you chuckled and sipped on your iced coffee.

“I always say that but you are an angel..-I’m serious! She just shows up with coffee. She even brought me two because she knows me“ Sebastian said looking at you and took your hand in his which stayed like this for the rest. The pictures and videos of you holding hands went viral just seconds after the interview was posted.

“Yup she is the only family member that kind of isn’t like the rest.-“

“Well thank you?“ you cut him off.

“No I mean that’s a good thing“ Chris laughed.

“Last question for you (Y/N). How do you react to the comments you get on the last paparazzi pictures of you“ she said and picked out a few with you and Sebastian mostly eating.

“Well I don’t really..care...I mean I do care but I can eat what I want and just because I am a model doesn’t mean I can’t eat a burger or I can’t be smart or I have to be thin. It’s not wrong to eat, it’s wrong for me to starve...oh and hating is wrong too. It isn’t healthy for anyone“ you finished your little monologue.

“See! she’s special. That was like our interview and now it’s her“ Chris said again smiling brightly at you. You leaved again since it isn’t really your presstour and leaved to another job as he and Chris made their way afterwards to the final interviews this day. He thought he would be still exhausted but after the coffee and mostly after your visit he felt more awake than ever and that wouldn’t go unnoticed by the others. It wasn’t all figured out yet between the two of you. You didn’t really talked about it but it was great to just live in the little happy bubble he was in right now and besides it’s funny for the both of you to tease the fans and paparazzi. Over the time from the presstour you’ve met a few times even if it wasn’t really private just mostly with the cast, you were already something like a part of the cast. A few days later he would attend at the Avengers family feud with you as one of the hosts. That he was excited was an understatement and it didn’t really matter at this point for him but everytime he would meet you, his heart would just go crazy and he would feel so nervous and calm at the same moment with you.

“Hello Facebook and welcome to Avengers family feud!“ Anthony Russo said and everyone clapped and cheered around the three of you in the middle.

“We are the directors of Infinity war and our special guest today is (Y/N) Hemsworth!“ everyone cheered again and the game was explained, everyone presented themselves and the first few questions went on for a while until your Brother and Anthony Mackie stood on in front of each other for the next question which you had to ask them.

“Which Infinity war character would win in a staring contest?“ you read from the card in your hands. Both of them quickly pressed the button and anthony answered first while he stared deeply into Chris eyes.

“I would say, your eyes are beautiful-“

“so are yours“ Chris replied to him.

“-must be the in the Hemsworth genes“ he turned to you, winked and turned around again to Sebastian and winked again. It was meant as a joke but he took it still a little more serious.

“HEY! I am watching you!” Sebastian yelled from his place and used his deathly stare on him which you just found adorable on him. The game was already over again and everyone said goodbye to the fans and towards each other and disappeared into different directions. You and Sebastian waited together for a Taxi and talked for a little while.

“Oh by the way I am the next two weeks in Australia-“

“by the way? You never told me..“he cut you off confused.

“-would you let me finish! but between them I am in Romania so we are hopefully going to see each other there again.“ you said to him and put your hands on his shoulder.

“That’s going to be amazing! I can show you around and if- if uh- you want to you..you could come with to the film festival?“ he asked you nervously because he wasn’t sure if that would be too much show off for you, as said before it wasn’t anything official for the two of you and that would be somehow the next step but just if you would be comfortable for you. Sebastian was just such an kind and gentle person for you which you absolutely loved about him and that wasn’t the only thing you loved.

“Of course I want to! It’s going to be fun..Seriously tho I hope the have good food there.“ you giggled and got interrupted by the taxi honking who came driving to your side of the street.

“Well there is my taxi!” you said and put your hands off his shoulders and got to the taxi. Sebastian, the gentlemen he is held the door for you open, kissed your cheek on last time and waved to you until you disappeared into the busy streets of New York.

>>Next Part

Feedback appreciated, Taglist open :)

xoxo Sophie

Tags(if you want to be added or removed let me know):@nyleveeee @jewelswrites-ish

#Sebastian Stan #sebastian stan imagine #sebastian stan fanfiction #sebastian stan x reader #sebastian stan x you #chris hemsworth #chris hemsworth x reader #chris hemsworth x you #anthony mackie

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lissahawthorne · 3 years

Text

a new vision

Who: Clarissa Hawthorne

When: Summer 2008 - Summer 2012

Where: nowhere specific

What: Clarissa’s journey from the end of the Beijing games through the end of her career as an Olympic archer four years later in London.

Warnings: Abuse

Word Count: 1855

Notes: This is part 2 of 3. Part 1. Part 3.

Her roommate was her saving grace.

And he didn’t. He did so much worse.

A few days later, Jill took Clarissa to adopt her first cat, Haruhi.

“Future plans?” The interviewer was kind, already knowing that there were rumours floating around the Olympic Village about the young archer’s future in the sport.

#abuse tw #p: self #p: s005 #p: all #about: every tears a diamond on my cheek

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ftscge-blog · 6 years

Text

greetings friends (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧ im jay and im excited to b finally making an obnoxious entrance .. Yea couldnt be more late but please (Softly begging) dont be a stranger. i promise to overwhelm u with ideas and headcanons about our characters eating pasta or arguing about who gets to eat the pink mentos ... Right ??? right. under the cut u will find a few pointers about my spiritual sage and i will post some possible connections tomorrow (although id be MOre than happy to brainstorm more). Also, dis klutz hasnt got a soulmate yet so if someone reads this and goes ‘yea cool’ ☺ .. here is ur chance ....... we can work magic ????? okay

as per usual, if u would like me to im u about conspiracy theories or to plot summnnn bonito give this a HEart. Alternatively if u want to give mark the zucc or pity like, dats also welcome. Thank u

!!!!!!!! tw: death, depression !!!!!

kendall jenner + cisfemale + she/her — have you met sage hawke? they are a twenty-two year old furniture sales advisor known as the conundrum. a pansexual cancer, they are astute + attentive, as well as mercurial + phlegmatic. their soulmark is a olive branch behind her ear, and they can’t feel the emotions of their soulmate, who happens to look like any fc. // jay. 20. she/her. gmt.

❃ sage was born in berkeley, california in the back garden of a school bus turned tiny house to a pair of flower children that did not plan to become parents and underestimated just how much it would shift their otherwise, spontaneous lives. they were far from picture perfect, with their tendency to outburst and get stuck when things didn’t go their way. theyd often forget to pack sages breakfast or dress her in unmatched socks, leave her unattended, allow her to squeeze herself into places where she shouldn’t be.. they’d trip over pacifiers and forget to warm up the milk but they gave sage a warm place to come back to with muddy knees after repeatedly falling off the monkey bars and loving arms to fall into after someone made fun of her in elementary.. and she was the kind of person who wasn’t afraid to dig through dirt

❃ her mother was delicate, she could never secure a real job.. she couldn’t be criticised, she took everything to heart and found it hard to open up to people.. she couldn’t be alone for too long and never slept with the lights off. she met sage’s father at the age of 19..from the moment they saw each other, it clicked. they were soulmates. he was 10 years older than her. He was a childish spirit that never grew up, he never took things too seriously and always had an alternative for any situation. He had a backbone that was able to support both of them emotionally, without him, Sage would have never taken her first breath in the first place. For him, it was always going to be okay eventually??? he was the one to sit sage down after she brought home a bad grade, he’d read her the bedtime stories and teach her her first guitar chords. her mother always looked up to what he would do and try to be the same, but it always felt staged, detached. like she never knew how to react around sage. Like she couldn’t grip her own struggles so, how could she begin to understand her daughters ... difference is, her father thought he couldn’t but he always tried. they balanced each other. around him, it was hard to believe anything could possibly get worse

❃ but it did.. on her 14th birthday sage got a dog, a golden doodle that jumped with excitement at the sight of sage as much as she did at the sight of him. later that night, her father suggested they all go to a park to enjoy the first day with the new addition to their family and so they did. it was the first time, sage’s mother smiled so big it gave sage and her father goosebumps. he was playing fetch with the dog when pain pierced through his chest and bolted up his spine. in that moment, everything slowed down. sage felt her ears buzz and her sight get blurry, the moment she kneeled down in front of her father and begged her mother to call for help but instead, all she did was stood still. she screamed at the top of her lungs and tried dialling for help but realised, she was never taught the emergency number. she banged her fists against her father’s chest and begged for him to wake up, but it was just as though someone turned off his on switch. sage broke down, curled up beside her father and held the dog in her arms as though to repress his playful nature. the world turned grey that evening, the air felt denser. her mother was taken under care that day after she succumbed from witnessing her soulmates death... they had given her a couple of days before her light would turn off along with her soulmark. it was in these last days that sage learned more about her mother than ever. she learned that she was self conscious about motherhood knowing she couldn’t teach sage the qualities that mattered like resilience, courage and acuity. that she observed without interrupting, that she remembered every single detail of sage’s life more than she recalls her own. sage learned that her mother is where she inherited her tenderness and idiosyncrasy from, that her favorite flower is a blue bell and that sage was her happiest accident

❃ to bury both of her parents at once wasn’t irrational to sage, it was what was ingrained in their destiny. if one soulmate dies, the other most likely follows. but although sage had remarkable understanding of the world for her age, she could never accept the fact that they were there one day and the next, they were gone. her father never finished teaching her guitar chords and her mother never ate her piece of sage’s birthday cake. how do you go on knowing you can’t go back and replay something in a way that feels tangible ?? how do you go on knowing you are all alone. who do you complain to?? who is there to live for??? ? it is hard losing both of your parents on its own and even harder to accept when you are old enough to make sense of it. seeing images everytime you try to rest that bring back all the pain, not being able to stop the tears from streaming down your face because everytime u do, you realise that with each passing day the memory of their faces becomes more blurry. the voices become ruffled in your brain as if theyre just a fragment of your imagination. you bottle up. you scream, you hit, you tire yourself out and try to shake the feeling off but it feels as though its ripping through your bones and leaving ulcers on your heart that pound in pain everytime you go back to the last time you’ve smiled and realising, you cannot remember. sage’s unapologetic demeanour attracted the wrong crowd. she was the girl who would leave lipstick marks on necks and who’s voice could be heard at the other end of the hallway having an argument with her high school sweetheart. whoever it was that month. she was unapologetically eccentric, sloppy and unwell. but to this day, the people who really know her see her as an incredibly sensitive individual who deals with her issues hands on. who’s piercingly honest, sometimes too much. someone who is able to convey their vulnerability in ways that seem lunatic and astute all at once. she is incredibly tough, she’s able to force anyone look at themselves in the mirror, see themselves in a new light and turn their lives around. just as she is convinced she did

❃ sage was placed in foster care after her parents’ passing and due to her neurotic nature, was never a feasible candidate for adoption.. she worked as a waitress at the local diner owned by a family friend until they realised she was better off helping the chef in the kitchen, away from the customers that often walked right out the Moment sage graced their table JGRIEOGJEI When she turned 18, Sage was given a care plan and various locations where she could make her home. After spending a month, digging through job advertisements and applying to anything that didn’t require a college degree, Sage got one reply. It was an informal email requesting an interview for a furniture sales advisor in captiva island, florida. one of the places on the care plan list. She packed everything she could and moved to Captiva. the next morning, she arrived at the furniture shop and was greeted by a greying man with wood sand on his jeans and a lady with too much hairspray in her hair waving at her from across the counter. And the rest is HISTORY ??? from the moment they’ve welcomed her into their shop, Sage was overwhelmed with the same disorderedness she grew up around and the more she got to know the personalities of her new bosses, the more she learned to appreciate them. coming into work felt more like home than the place she had lived in, with freshly baked pastries ready for her to munch on at her break or a story to listen to in between the busy times. the more they knew sage, the more they allowed her to express her feelings about daily frustrations, accepted her random spurts of energy and understood when she needed a day off or two, or more. soon enough, the moments when she wasn’t at work, she was spending on their couch, looking through their albums of children that had left their nests and simpler times, when all they had to worry about was their curfew. they weren’t soulmates but they were best friends and didn’t let destiny determine their life. Sage looked up to them like no other, comparing their life to the tragedy of her parents’, convincing herself that chasing after your Soulmate, whoever it may be, isn’t worth the chance of risk at all. After working there for 4 years, Sage became like family to the owners of the shop and for her 21st birthday, they decided to gift her with their offering of parenthood. Later that summer, the Hawke family became sages legal parents

❃ i will post some questionnaire later to clarify her personality a little more but it’ll all come through her dialogue .. u know who she reminds me of ??? sophia from girl boss??? or tiffany from silver linings playbook?? shes painfully observant and a huge overthinker. she doesn’t filter her speech and oftentimes, she says things she should not on impulse. she’s neurotic, she’s erratic, she will pick petty fights and blow things out of proportion when you catch her on the wrong day. its like that lyrics thoUGH ‘when im happy oh god im happy??’ you will see it from the way her eyes crinkle and the ways she can’t seem to relax her body. every emotion overwhelms her.. she loves and she protecc until her knuckles bleed and she’s stubborn, she’ll never let you win the argument unless she loves u and she understands that u are probably way wiser than she is. Shes a klutz, she’ll trip over her own feet taking out the trash and spill Literally everything that isnt left empty. She likes little moments in life, the profound ones like that one time her friend let her drive his car even through she didn’t have her driving license or that one time her friend opened up to her even though they never do. She remembers all of those profound moments very clearly and holds onto them for dear life because to her, they are what matters .. Please plot w me if u got to this point because ... DAMNNN :’) u really read all det.....

❃ why the olive branch ??? its understood to be a symbol of peace .. reconciliation. maybe they met it felt like an ice pack on a bruise ?? maybe they met each other and it felt as though there’s been some kind of a mistake, that they were nothing what they expected their soulmate to be ? maybe they even considered removing their soulmark because it felt so wrong that two polar opposites were meant to make things work?? it almost felt unfair??? maybe even the fact that they can’t feel the emotions of their soulmate can be linked to that .. because u know it would be harder to learn to love, platonically or romantically, someone who you cant easily understand? in addition to that, sage is not an easy person to deal with .. she’s erratic, she’s a know-it-all .. she overthinks like no other, shes easily irritated and explosive and she has always been quite cynical about the idea of a soulmate and it shows with how unwilling she is to share all of herself with a stranger.. a part of her written in destiny. Something shes convinced is ... fickle?? So yeah... an olive branch. For all the profound moments when it feels just right. For when the uncertainty fades away :-)

#this is Maaaaad long and im SOrry.#but hello :-)#cap.intro #if thats the wrong tag call me a boo boo the fool ..#Sorry if this is annoying and doesnt make sense #Which it might not. cause dats literally a whole ass ESSAAAAAAAY #smack me with a baking tin

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jizemderler · 7 years

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Celebration “Prompt” @emilybillard : Hey! Congrats on 500+ followers! Can I have both an mood board and a prompt? 💖I followed you bc your an amazing writer and an awesome person..I have brown hair and hazel eyes. I love reading. I love photography. I’m shy and awkward until you get to know me, then I become more awkward and you wish I would shut up. People have told me I have a very kind personality and I could give people cavities bc I’m so sweet😂 I suffer from anxiety and I’m Canadian. And can that be with Tom? Thank you!!

A/N: This is the “prompt” for the lovely @emilybillard . Thank you for all the kind words, I love you, I don’t deserve you, you’re awesome!! Even though I really like this fic (I really enjoyed writing it!), I’m shit at writing prompts! I can’t keep it short dvjddj I’m trash. I hope you like it anyways! Enjoy!

“Are you ready?” he asked as the car came to a halt and layed his hand over yours. “Will we leave if I say no?” you asked and you two both knew that you were joking. This event was really important for Toms carier and you’d never leave him to deal with it on his own. He was really nervous about it and it helped him knowing that you’d always be by his side.

“We could. But we probably won’t.” he chuckled and you flashed him a smile.

“Come on. Let’s go.”

You were somewhat used to the flashing lights as soon as you both left the car and walked onto the red carpet. First they took bazillion of photos where they would yell your name constantly to get you to look over. You tried to look in every direction possible so they’d get their picture but after a few minutes you felt slightly dizzy so you tightened your grip around Toms arm which made him look down worriedly. You kept smiling and ignored his worried look but he understood and wrapped his arm around your waist to give you more stability.

After the photos it was time for the interviews. You walked alongside Tom and he did not let go of your hand. “Hello you two! Look at you! I’m so honoured to be interviewing these gorgeous love birds.” the interviewer said into his mic while looking into the camera and you looked down to your feet trying to hide your blushing cheeks. “Who are you wearing tonight?” the interviewer asked you both and you looked up at Tom so he would answer first. “Uh, you know. Probs to my dresser. She does an amazing job but never tells me “who I am wearing”. It’s an ongoing joke of hers, she finds it very funny.“ he said chuckling and you grinned to yourself. You loved her and it really was entertaining to watch Tom find new anwers everytime he was asked that question.

“Now you’re exposed. Eat that, homie!” he said into the camera and made gang signs which made you laugh. “No, I’m joking. She’ll kill me. Or not dress me well and embaress me. I depend on her. She’s a great person.” he apologized immediatly and made the interviewer laugh too. After they talked about a few other things where you threw in little comments here and there he finally asked a question directed to you.

“So, tell me. What are you guys doing with your free time?”

“Regarding that we don’t have a lot of free time, we enjoy little things. Simple things, you know. Like watching a movie or going out to have dinner. Sometimes we have friends over and play charade.” you said sheugging your shoulders,“ And Tom is not a good loser. He is very competitive.” you added while covering the side of your mouth as if he couldn’t hear you that way. “That - ” he started to decline but as you looked up to him he let it go, “is kinda true, to a certain point.”

“What do you do when Tom is away. Like what keeps you busy?”

“Well other than college. I read a lot. Sometimes I go out with Toms little brother Harry to snap some pictures because we share the same passion for photography, you know?” you said and looked over to Tom who was watching you with a loving smile. “And Tom over here will pout if he hears about it. How dare I have fun while he is away.” you joke and Tom blushes while you laugh with the interviewer.

“Y/N! Could we have an interview!” you heared someone yell and looked over your shoulder.

“You can go if you like. I’ll finish this.” Tom encouraged you and pointed at the interviewer with his head. “Uh, sure…” you said and shook the interviewers hand as a goodbye and moved on to the next one. Tom watched you in awe how you handled the situation. You went from one interviewer to the other answering politely and having nice conversations. He saw you laugh quiet a numorous of times and he felt a little pout-y suddenly. You were really sweet and friendly with everyone and they loved you whihh was great. But Tom somehow felt left out even though he was busy himself. He liked having you by his side. Especially when you were wearing a gown like that where every guy in your presence tried to impress you.

You were talking with an interviewer about your no-goes when you felt someone wrap his arm around your waist. “I’ll have to steal her from you know.” he said and took your hand. “It was so nice talking to you!” the interviewer said and leaned in to give you a hug which you kindly accepted. “Same goes to you.”

“Thank you for your time!”

“Thank you for your time.” Tom hissed under his breath as you two walked into the bulding and you looked at him with furrowed brows. “Are you okay?” you asked and tried to look him in his eyes but he looked straight forward. “Yes.”

“Did I do something wrong?”

“No.”

He didn’t make sense what so ever so you decided to let it go. You walked to your seats where Harrison and Harry were already waiting. You hugged both of them and sat down. Tom did not say a word the whole time they talked on stage and you couldn’t understand his sudden mood swing. The event itself went really well and the four of you decided to attend the after party. “I’ll have to go talk to some people. Are you okay with staying with Haz and Harry?” he asked you leaning in so you’d actually hear him. “Of course. Off you go. I’ll occupie myself.” you agreed and waved him off. He smiled thankfully and leaned in to give you a quick kiss before disappearing in the mass of people.

“Wow! You look gorgeous.” you heared someone say from behind and when you turned around your mouth dropped as you saw Robert Downey Jr standing behind you with open arms. “Uh…thank you, I guess. So do you!” you said and wanted to vanish into thin air as soon as it left your mouth. He chuckled and came closer while sipping at his glass. After you had a long conversation with Robert you talked to many other people. Celebs mostly which left you totally shook.

Tom was talking to his manager when someone approached him with a big smile on his face. “Hey Tom!” he greeted Tom and they shook hands. “Your girlfriend is the most down to earth, sweet and funny girl I have ever met. Does she have a sister or anything?” he joked and Tom forced a smile on his face. Was she talking to everyone but him tonight? Tom knew that it was douchy of him to think like that but if he was honest to himself then he would admit that he was jealous. It was great that everyone loved Y/N but he liked having you for himself. Jesus, you were nice to everyone. Too nice maybe which would bring the guys on unwanted ideas. As soon as Tom thought of that he excused himself and went to find you. As he found you, you had your head thrown back laughing along to something Chris Evans had said. He picked up his speed and was by your side in seconds.

“Hey, Tom! Nice to see you man!” Chris said and gave Tom a quick one-shouldered hug. “You too, Chris.” Tom said and Chris did not stay long after that. “Do you want to leave? I think we should leave.” Tom said suddenly and you looked up in confusion. “What’s going on Tom? You’ve been weird the whole time? Did I do something to upset you?” you asked and tried to read his emotions but he shook his head. “We should get home.” he just said and you let your shoulders sink. “Sure. Let me just grab my stuff.” you said and took off to gather your stuff.

***

Tom did not talk the whole ride home. He did hold your hand but it felt weird and this situation was bugging you. You thought you were doing great with the interviews and the press and all of that but appearently you had messed up somehow. When you finally got home you two changed into more comfortable clothes which were old T-Shirts and baggy sweatpants. You cought him staring at you with furrowed brows as you turned around after you finished changing your clothes.

“Alright. Spit it out. What did I do?” you asked finally and crossed your arms infront of your chest, feeling a little annoyed. “You still look hot.” he groaned and your eyes widened. “Pardon me?” “I don’t get it. You’re not even showing skin or anything.” he said staring at your body and you couldn’t hold back a chuckle. “What did you drink tonight? Something heavy?” you said amused and he rolled his eyes. You walked towards him and wrapped your arms around his waist. “What’s bugging you? Come on, tell me.” you encouraged him and he wrapped his arms around you too.

“It’s dumb.”

“Come on.” you said rolling your eyes and he sighed.

“You’re beeing too sweet.”

“Come again?”

“You looked smoking hot today AND you were sweet to everyone. They were literally drooling after you.” he growled and furrowed his brows. “Are you se-…You are serious oh my god!” you exclaimed and chuckled while cupping his face with your hands. “I thought something bad happened. I thought I did something wrong! You were just jealous.” you laughed and he mumbled something you didn’t understand. “No you were great. You’re so sweet you could give me cavities.” he said like a little boy and made you laugh.

“You’re so dumb!” you said and leaned in to give him a statisfying kiss. You broke the kiss after a few seconds and grinned teasingly. “I’m canadian. I can’t turn of the sweet. Thank god you have a sweet tooth!” you teased him and wiggled your brows which made him roll his eyes.

“Shut up.” he said and leaned in to kiss you again. Whomever drooled after you, at the end of the day you were only his.

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