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rozaceous · 5 months

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Hey! I love tcba a lot and Mariko is a fantastic character. I just wondered if there was a physical description for her floating around somewhere? I get a very vague picture from how she is written and how other characters perceive her. But aside from “dark brown/bronze hair, usually braided and tidy, probably fairly pretty (?), girl…” I got nothing for her on my head. I ask specifically because I’d really like to try doodling some fanart for her, or find some online somewhere, but that hard to do when I cant actually picture her very well.

If not describing her outright is a preference of yours though, then I completely understand too. Sometimes a lack of POV character description helps with reader immersion and adds to a story.

Just figured I would ask before I went off half-cocked and drew something that doesn’t suit who Mariko is.

wow that would be really sweet of you! (also tysm for loving tcba) @arc-haism drew some awesome art of mariko that's in the 'art for me tag' that you can find on my pinned post, if you'd like.

and there isn't so much of a physical description in the fic, i guess? i put in smaller details throughout, but i'm so burned by the 'my black hair and purple eyes' descriptions of old that i shy from it very strongly haha. it feels very self-indulgent, but i can give it a go now 💪

so we're looking brown hair, which is almost always braided in some fashion for practicality's sake. (i find having hair in my face super annoying, but also in a medical setting that's unsanitary.) for most of the fic it's a braided updo of some kind, but her starter shippuden look has a side-braid that's a little more abt form than function. it's also pretty long? bottom of the ribs in length. brown eyes (at least pre- eyeball shenanigans lmao), paler skin but not sasuke pale and def not sai pale lmao, square-ish to round-ish face shape, strong jaw. and dog teeth!

short-to-average before she hit her growth spurt (which would have been the start of the fic, so she was basically the same height as naruto and sasuke), and here is where i drop her current height as 178cm. based on some of the height charts i've found for shippuden, she's taller than all of her peers, which i think is hilarious. sadly it won't last forever. in terms of her current build, think sprinter.

accessories/clothes: all black all the time, except for when something is gray lol. those mesh shirts p much always, fingerless gloves. otherwise you can kind of go nuts, i've got her in tons of outfits. shippuden has the bell earring, which is the bell test bells, hanging from one ear, that she uses to cast auditory genjutsu.

i hope that's detailed enough? let me know if i didn't answer something you were dying to know abt tho.

#i feel weird saying if she's pretty or not both bc she's an si and bc beauty standards don't always translate #also i'm white and this is a japanese fantasy world so i try not to think too hard abt how the racial component translates #i'll break my brain #by japanese standards i would probably not be v pretty but i do fine w american ones?#and i put it in the fic that she's considered on the masculine leaning side rather than feminine bc of that #too tall and too muscular and too strong-featured for east asian beauty standards #whatever i hate it that ppl perceive me lmao #internet user demands answers #tcba

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pashminalamb · 1 year

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hi belle !!! i felt like i had to come in and clear things up since the lil discourse started in my ask box lol and now i feel bad :,( in no way do i feel like there was any sort of even the slightest inspiration taken from the asks on my acc ! we've even talked abt it a bit here on ur blog lol (and i still need to reply 2 u, too 😭) so i'd also be thankful if the discourse stopped altogether cuz i strongly believe coincidents happen and i do not even feel like the idea was mine in any way so !

i hope what i said makes sense :// even i myself dont see any issue with this situation and i am absolutely frothing at the mouth to read interrupted lol SO with that being said, i hope the whole discussion dies down <3 im so sorry it ruined ur mood, sending u the biggest hugs rn ! :(

Thanks for dropping in and clearing the air, Zari

And yes, it does make sense. There are so many times when i see people literally paraphrasing my work and making plot lines with a similar synopsis as mine; like the other day i was going to call this author out in the bllk fandom and i spoke to my friend about it with screenshots and everything. And after thinking about it realized that erotica and romance are not unique genres and that includes dark content as well so themes can overlap and at the end of the day- it is not literally published work.

I'm not a fan of discourse myself tbh. and i don't understand why most people don't take it with a sense of rationality?

I've been on tumblr for over 4 years now, yes I started here when i was 16 and began posting last year. When i was at 250 followers, i released a fic and the idea was stolen by an author who had over 10,000 follows+ than me (who i had interacted with) and it went at a very fast pace of gaining over 170 likes in two hours or maybe less. I know what it feels like to have your work taken away from you and used by someone else for the purpose of their content. Why would i wish that on anyone else? Most of my followers follow blogs apart from mine that have blue lock content. so if i did copy someone's idea, they would notify me about it; and even if i knew that you had an idea like this in your blog i would have never used it as we're both writers for the same fandom. It would literally give me nothing but backlash from readers and ruin a reputation i've spent time building here -causing me emotional instability which is the last thing i want for myself (since i have already got a lot going irl) given the fact that hate spreads more faster than being liked; speaking from experience since i have seen enough number of discourses take place here and also on how bad it can get.

And even late last year, i had a whole wip list out for different fandoms including haikyuu and other animes that i watched, explaining what the fic was about and everything. But even that got taken away from me (one of the anons dropped a word for word title in the inbox of a famous author/ writer here + it turned up in the 'x reader' tags) so i rarely discuss what fic i'm going to write next and just decide to keep it a secret and release it when its done.

Thanks again for dropping in Zari (hope you enjoy reading 0^^0 *sending hugs back*); and since the discourse has been settled by both of us, on further notice any ask regarding 'interrupted' will be deleted.

#Belle.☏#.lost sheep : Zari

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chaoticpanenergy · 2 years

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after briefly scrolling through the oc tag that you used on one of my posts and seeing that two of the four posts there are about being affectionate with men and a forth is about suffering and dying for the plot .I am intrigued KRHSHDB

!!! oh oh brian my beloved!!!!!! yessss okay so he is one of the two main characters of my current wip novel (the other one is his qpp xeno, they/them). here is a lil snippet thingy i made abt them (plus FANFIC FROM ONE OF MY MUTUALS OMG) and here is a post i made abt the story recently and here is my tag for the wip as a whole.

but!!!!! if u don't wanna click around those, and also just bc i think i am interpreting this ask correctly as an invitation to infordump:

brian is aroace and autistic and adhd (xeno is a non-SAM aro and also autistic, they are also SO beloved). brian is also a wizard who does magic <3 and he has a suuuper fucked up magic wizard family (who currently have semi-disowned him for being aro </3). he has 8 siblings, 3 older and 5 younger, and he loves them all so much (the oldest two ah. do Not deserve it though. they are both very manipulative and emotionally abusive). brian is 23; his siblings range from 28 to 9 years old. his arc in the book will be basically. a race between his slowly developing awareness that his family is abusive and he needs to cut them off, and his deeply instilled self-sacrificial instincts leading him to put himself in dangerous situations to protect his younger siblings and xeno. so just. whether he will properly work up the courage to choose himself and leave before he gets himself killed or not. we shall see :)))))

hOWEVER angsty plot aside he and xeno are SO beloved and they love each other sm in a way that is wholly divorced from allo nonsense <333 they were roommates in their junior year of college and became qpps in their senior year, and the book takes place about a year and a half after that. brian is biiiiig and tall and chonky and soft (xeno is fairly average height, but that's still short enough for brian to rest his chin on top of their head <3), and he usually has some stubble because both facial hair and shaving are Sensory Bad things for him so it is just a constant battle between which is worse (xeno is always very cleanshaven bc facial hair gives them dysphoria). he usually wears a weighted vest + tshirt + jeans. he probably didn't know he was autistic growing up, which means he developed some stims that hurt himself without knowing what he was doing (specifically he tends to chew his hands and also dig his fingernails into his skin rlly hard) and then the habit got super ingrained, but now he is working on it and xeno is also looking out for it and helping him find other stims that are better <333 he has a chewy necklace now!!!! and some nice squishy rubbery stim toys he can dig his nails into instead <33333 he also has a cat named Critter!!!! they are very small. he also rlly likes vocal stimming (which can be a lil bit of a problem bc xeno is very sensitive to sound, but they've gotten pretty good at accomodating each other) and audio stims (he likes rlly loud rhythmic music for stims, musical theater soundtracks for when he's feeling depressed and nostalgic, and things like AJR and owl city for when he's just listening to music regularly) (xeno is a podcast person and rarely listens to music, and when they do it is normally music without lyrics). he rlly likes Textures and Sensations as a general rule. he loves to stim with xeno's hair (they have an undercut dyed purple), it's v cute, they'll snuggle next to each other on the couch while xeno is like reading a book or whatever. he also loves to give & receive top-of-head and forehead kisses, but most other kinds of kisses are a no-go for him bc he is both romance and sex repulsed and feels like most other kinds of kisses have been made too strongly associated with sex or romance by the general allo population for him to be comfy with them. xeno is extremely ambivalent towards most forms of physical affection, and towards romance/sex as concepts (they simply Do Not Care), so they are generally down for cuddles if brian wants cuddles, but they also would be perfectly fine without.

XENO MEANWHILE is also very very cool and good!!!! their samefood is applesauce, especially in squeezy packets, so there is a whole drawer in the kitchen just full of those (brian can't tolerate the texture, so xeno always knows Exactly how many there are in the house). they usually wear fingerless gloves bc it helps reduce the amount of unexpected sensation on their hands; they also tend towards very soft comfy clothes, mostly longsleeve shirts and sweatpants, bc most fabrics are bad textures. they don't emote in a very neurotypical way, so they have to mask a lot when they're at work, and brian is someone who they feel safe unmasking around bc they know he won't misinterpret their quiet and their lack of typical "happy"/pleasant facial expressions, and won't think they're super angry when they're not (which is a problem they often face when they can't mask in front of neurotypicals). they carry noise canceling headphones with them bc of how often they get overstimulated by too much noise. they rlly like to Sort and Organize things, which makes reshelving books at the library (their current job) one of their faaavorite things to do. they're also very good at spotting when brian is just. hiding the fact that he has 0 self-esteem, and are trying rlly hard to encourage him in asserting himself & his needs more often. they love to Learn things and will often infodump to brian about whatever it is they've learned recently. they have a note in their notes app for each person who is important to them, where they just write down every single little detail they know about that person and what they like/dislike, and so on. they make frequent use of these notes as a way to come up with good ideas for little ways to show affection (they are v into gift giving, quality time, and acts of service as love languages, but are very averse to words of affirmation. these tendencies have caused both good and bad things for them in the past). it took them a While to befriend Critter (brian's cat), but now the cat Loves them, which they count as a significant personal triumph. i think possibly they either have pet rats or have had them in the past, so if they do, then their room is off limits for Critter lol. they dye their own hair, which is always an Adventure especially because most smells are sensory Bads for them and bleach is Definitely one of them, so they often have to allot most of their spoons for the day just to bleaching out their hair, so they have to plan and schedule it carefully to have enough spoons. brian has offered to help do it with magic before, but xeno is not convinced that it would be better that way. they also have lots of stim toys, and they carry some in their backpack at all times (including some that are exclusively for brian).

OKAY that's. a lot of things abt them. i love them both sm. i definitely could go on but im stopping for now asjkdhfkjfghsdf tysm for the ask it was the best thing that happened to me today :D

#oc: brian #oc: xeno #xeno and brian #peregrin answers #peregrin said a thing #orpheus tag!!!!#u get a friend tag :)

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guu · 2 years

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Got tagged by Julia @wuggen in this big ol Answer These Questions chain letter thingimajig. Supposed to tag 25 people (wowie this one feels like it was taken straight from the old myspace ones)

Last...

Beverage: Full Thottle bc energy drinks have me in a chokehold to function

Phone call: uhhh either a doordash customer or my bff gabs

Text message: talkin with my mom abt her surgery tomorrow

Song you listened to: idk man i’m on a vaporwave mix rn

Time you cried: i don’t cry much anymore so uhhh... maybe... a month ago?

Have you ever...

Dated someone twice: yeah ;;- _-)

Kissed someone and regretted it: when i was 16 yeah

Lost someone special: In the sense of fucked up a good relationship: yes

in the sense of losing contact: soo many

in the sense of death: my grandma

Been depressed: bro since i was 11

Been drunk and threw up: oh yeah. hasn’t happened in years tho

Last year, have you...

Made a new friend: Ya!

Fallen out of love: Nope

Laughed until you cried: I don’t think so but mb. memory shit.

Found out who your true friends are: I mean, I guess. too bad none of them are here irl.

Found out someone was talking about you: No bc I’m 30

General

How many people on your fb friends list do you know in real life?: I only have ppl added i kno irl bc i never use fb.

List 3 favorite colors: This hasn’t changed in like 15 yrs

pink, green, black

Firsts

First surgery: Still none

First piercing: I got my ear pierced at Claire’s when I was like. 6. so yeah that got infected Fast.

First best friend: I never had a true best friend till 7th grade, so my first is still my best friend in the whole world, Gabs.

First sport you joined: I was on the tennis team in middle school

First vacation: My family has never been rich. soo.

The time they took us along to Dodge City for a motorcycle rally back when they were bikers. that was fun. there was blood outside one of the rooms at the Best Western and i got a harmonica there.

First pair of trainers: Yeah I’m with Julia wth does this mean, I wouldn’t have guessed shoes if she didn’t say so. Licherally don’t remeber

Right now

Eating: Nothing atm, might break into some kettle corn soon

Drinking: Still the. Full Throttle.

I’m about to: get some more work done on Jewel Thieves and prolly go back out and play more Tales of Symphonia

Your future

Want kids: Got two, don’t want more.

Get married:Man i don’t know and i don’t care. if i do get married to anyone it’ll be for like, marriage benefits?

Career: I want a show of one my comics. But anyway as for ‘career’, character designer seems to be my best shot with what i Want to Do.

Which is better

Lips or eyes: yeah i think this is rly where u can see teens made these old things. both are good? people all definitely have both.

Hugs or kisses: i am so starved for friend hugs.

Shorter or taller: I don’t actually care much, it’s hard to be shorter than me, but taller is ideal cause then they could get stuff off high shelves and i go low and in small places. ideal dynamics.

Older or younger: As long as they’re old enough to drink, either is chill. probably older tho. Or a few yrs younger.

Romantic or spontaneous: Can we not have both????? What's the distinction here??? (leaving ur answer Julia cause I agree)

Nice stomach or nice arms: Big tummy... but i am a slut for a man with big strong arms

Sensitive or loud: I feel like these are not mutually exclusive? I’m sensitive and loud about it. (well. some of us are. i don’t feel much strongly)

Hook-up or relationship: Meh, either. I’m not the best with hook-ups but I might go for one if presented it.

Trouble maker or hesitant: Troublemaker within reason. I need someone who can make decisions for me so hesitant is a bit...

Have you ever...

Kissed a stranger: Yeah

Drank hard liquor: Yeah but I can’t do it anymore. Gives me heartburn.

Lost glasses/contacts: Used to lose or break my glasses all the time.

Sex on first date: Yea

Broke someone’s heart: Unfortunately u_u

Been arrested: I’ve been in handcuffs but that’s it.

Turned someone down: Hmm... yeah actually I think. I usually give just abt anyone a shot but there was that weird brony guy who was a huge misogynist.

Cried when someone died: Sorta. I didn’t know how to feel when gradma or grandpa died but I cried for my mom when they both passed.

Oh and I guess after the initial celebration of “the dead one”‘s passing, and realizing him being gone didn’t help how I felt I cried.

Do you believe in...

Yourself: Considering I’ve been let down so much I’d often have to say “if ya want somethin’ done right-” yeah

Miracles: No, but I want to.

Love at first sight: Used to. Romance is weird for us these days.

Heaven: No

Santa Claus: Okay uh, bro????

Kiss on the first date: Yeah man just go for it if it’s right for the both of ya.

Angels: Ok I know I said i don’t believe in heaven (or hell) but I’m on the fence with angels.

ok im not tagging 25 but let’s see. (as usual, only do if ya wanna ofc!)

@chocolatechippi , @babylonbirdmeat , @lilstinky , @goodvibesdog , @mood2you , @nonbinaryjew , @e-102 , @cringezskull430 , @snailbutch ,

@minmos , @3000s , @sablesablesablesable

#under a readmore for mobile #i think mobile still gets long posts? idk

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evilpuppyboy · 3 years

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Sometimes I really wanna write reviews or media based essays, and i have some written in a notebook, but I’ve never really felt safe sharing them. I’ve dealt with paranoia for many years and even now I am just getting comfortable setting my boundaries for who interacts with me online and feeling like I can state my opinions, even if they seem like very non controversial ones. I have a lot of thoughts about all sorts of things but I am so scared of confrontation that I even get worried leaving a good review for a restaurant or something.

#idk if any yall experience anything similar.. if u do then how do you cope with it?? I dont wanna be held back by my own anxiety!!#even in terme of activism!! for a long time i was afraid to put my pronouns or mention my sexuality!!!#also lately i been reblogging some sh/pcourse bcs i got hyperfixated on it for some reason and i want to say how i really feel about #the damage that prosh/pp3rs are capable of.. even still I dont know when I will feel comfortable talking about the personal reason why i #feel so strongly about it; other than normal common sense!!!#i want to be myself and be comfortable and not have to worry about if i said something that could possibly evoke a neg reaction from someone #i have to say that ive come a long way. im still held back by paranoia but i feel a lot happier on tumblr #its really my only form of social media so i dont really feel comfy using others.#i was thinking about this because i wanted to write a review abt a show i just binge watched but i got rlly scared someone would get angry #but if rhere is one thing im proud of its my way of looking at media.. i think i have a lot to say and i feel confiden!! not enough yeth tho #thats also why i might seem flighty to my friends. im really happy to talk but i get rlly paranoid tho!!#if u made it this far in the tags i will share one opinion that i am scared will make ppl mad #abt r3z3r0. most people like r em. but i dont like her. i feel likeshe has alot of potential but her motivationsanf personality get totally #lost. she doesnt get thedevelopment she deserves and i think that some people mainly like her because she is quiet and takes orders. but she #also doesnt even respect that subaru is in a relationship? even if the girl doing it is cute; not respecting that someone is in another #relationship and not with you is shitty. virtually every character is more 3d than she is and it isnt fair. she had a lot of potential but #it was wasted bcs she was drcided to be a love interest #em1l14 is a good character. she has clear motivation and a succinct personality and good development. she isnt perfect but she knows this #and tries to find ways to cope with the fact that she is a flawed person. she has a fully developed life outside of her relationship w the #protag and i never got why so many people disliked her but i was thinking about analyzing the fans interaction with each charactrr in a #dissertation or smyh because i feel like it can be applied more broadly than just one show #ok im done i hope no one is upset its all opinion!#vent/#rant in tags/#🍓

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nyaitsu-writes · 3 years

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hi nya~ glad to see a new enstars blog! i also see youre a fellow knightsP ehe~ how abt ritsu who is close enough to his (mutual) crush to be able to share skinship frequently (cuddles and such). then one day, the crush jokingly says "yknow, sometimes i think its a bad idea for the two of us to be together" and when asked why its because theyre just too comfortable cuddling with him and end up not wanting to be productive anymore.

sorry if its kinda specific haha~ no pressure if dont feel like doing this one but either way, good luck on the blog!

in my mind this is called the ritsu rq and I’ve been thinking a lot about it because I LOVE IT SO MUCH THANK YOU!! it took me a bit to write it because i wanted it to be really really good and hcs weren't enough. i totally feel the “cuddling is too comfy, don’t wanna be productive anymore” because i’m suuuper lazy and always ready for cuddles. i gave your idea a bit of a twist and ended up writing a small scenario hehe <3

✧ ritsu | cuddling with his crush ✧

RITSU SAKUMA;

✦ from time to time, you tag along with ritsu to knights’ rehearsals, just so you can hang out once he’s done. all the singing, dancing and idol ing makes ritsu extra tired so he’s totally craving some good cuddles. he always asks about what you thought of his performance and if you say that he did a good work (and being honest, even if you didn't) he’ll demand some headpats.

✦ as ritsu’s favourite lap pillow (that is quite the right on its own!) you get special perks including ritsu being honest with you and getting very comfortable, especially when it’s late. for some reason, he always looks livelier when you’re together.

✦ he’s so comfortable at your side that he will not hesitate to ask for cuddles any time no matter the circumstances. he’ll wrap his arms around you and complain that he’s really, really tired and can’t move, so you need to take a nap with him so he can recover.

✦ it happened one of those days. ritsu had managed to convince you to take a nap with him. warm, summer weather wasn’t good for him and you two had found the perfect shady spot under a big tree.

It was supposed to be a quick nap after your picnic. Just a few minutes, so Ritsu could get enough energy to go back home on his own two feet and you didn’t have to carry him.

But by the time you woke up, the sun was starting to set. The younger Sakuma who had so strongly complained about the heat and the sun was wrapped all around you, his head against your chest and an arm protectively wrapped around you. Ritsu always looked so calm and peaceful after his sleep but this time there was a small smile on his lips.

“Morning… No, good afternoon? Seems like we had a great sleep together.” Deep red eyes stared at you sweetly as you moved around for a bit, trying to brush the sleepiness away.

“Mhm… I didn’t think I was that tired… but it really feels good,” you answered, failing at avoiding a big yawn. Ritsu chuckled.

“Yeah, I can see that. I always sleep the best when I’m with you, you know…” Like a cat, he rubbed his head against your shoulder. You ended up smiling too as you patted him in the head.

All your will to work slowly melted away as you enjoyed a quiet moment together.

“You know, it’s bad that we spend so much time together,” you joked. “See, I had plans for the day but it’s so comfortable in here… I’m not sure that I want to do anything…”

Ritsu smiled, gently brushing your hair to the side. His thumb lingered slightly longer than usual over your cheek and, for a second, you couldn’t do anything but stare at the extremely pleased male next to you.

“Then, I’ll make sure that you enjoy being with me sooo much… that you won’t want to do anything productive ever again.”

“Oh, is that so?” You teased, but Ritsu got back to his favourite cuddling position at your side, holding one of your hands. He looked a bit too determined and smug to qualify as a joke and you couldn’t really blame him. You felt the most comfortable at his side. “If we keep like this, I really won’t be able to work any—”

A finger pressed against your lips.

“Then don’t.” He tapped your lips softly, a slightly devilish smile peeking through his lips. “I’m in for a second nap, you know. And you are too.”

Before you could get a chance to think about your priorities, Ritsu was once again wrapped around you, his arm holding you close. You were facing each other, red eyes staring at you. As a light blush crept to your cheeks, you shut your eyes closed.

“Mhm I really couldn’t ask for a better view to fall asleep to…” You felt lips gently kissing the palm of your hand and you gave up. Ritsu, always as determined when it came to cuddling, was no match for your already tired mind, his warm body against yours. And so, you once again drifted off to sleep…

#ensemble stars #enstars #ensemble stars x reader #enstars x reader #ritsu sakuma #ritsu sakuma x reader #ensemble stars imagines #enstars imagines #as you can see i got a liiil excited with this #ritsu is at the top of my fav characters list dfkghdfg #soft ritsu is just so good #look at him being really really good friends with the reader aww <33

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aroaceacacia · 2 years

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for context, im new to hermitblr and i've been reading thru ur 2019 talk tag & i think i have the general idea of what went down. i just have a small question -- what was the "division thing"? you referenced it in another post but ive never heard of it. was it, like, "what are your thoughts on [x person]?" or something?

tbh I don't exactly remember what it was referring to at this moment but I think it was probably in reference to something that happened to me - an anti-hermitshipper once DMed me (who was neutral leaning anti at the time) to say "please don't interact with me", and when I asked why they said "it's because of who you associate with". It turned out that they were made uncomfortable because I had reblogged posts from a user who I was friendly with and who happened to be hermitship positive.

From what I recall, this happened to other people, too (I may be wrong here). Basically, anti-hermitshippers disliked hermitshippers so strongly that they started dividing everyone in the fandom into two camps, and even association such as following/reblogging/knowing hermitshippers was enough to get you lumped into the hermitshipper collective by anti-hermitshippers, or at least it felt that way. It felt like nobody was truly allowed to be neutral in some capacity

Thinking back on it the whole "please dont interact with me" was really dumb bc they could have just blocked me? or figured out my main (I'm pretty sure it's always been in my bio??) and softblocked me? by contacting me directly it was almost like a signal to subtly let me know that I was, in their eyes, Doing Something Wrong, and the direct dialogue was a way to facilitate that conversation. maybe that's a manipulative way of putting it, but I do think there's a weirdness in that sort of approach.

Lately I've been thinking a lot abt something that I've discussed in therapy, which is that "we can't change/control what others do, we can only control ourselves/how we respond to them". I think that it strongly applies to HC shipping discourse in general; it feels like it's a lesson anti-hermitshippers in some communities still haven't learned as they continue to go out of their way to try and stop people from shipping hermits. Whether they do it for moral reasons, or personal discomfort, or whatever, I think it's fair to say that they push people out of communities and call out users because they want to stop people from shipping hermits. Meanwhile, Hermitblr's solution to these differences of opinion and taste in content has been to block users and filter tags, to "curate your own experience" - rather than changing other people's actions, to change our own, and that's enabled us to reach a point where we can all have different feelings and boundaries on a somewhat sensitive topic but still respect one another and each other's wishes.

I've been having a lot of thoughts lately.

#asks #2019 talk #discourse

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ennui-gt · 3 years

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rhhghghg i guess i should talk a bit abt things

this is ABSOLUTELY NOT an invitation to like jump in my inbox and discuss my opinions or whatever. do not do that. i'm only talking about this one (1) time and then it's never coming up again. i think for most ppl, gt is a comfort, as it is for me, so, this is more of an. idk. vent of general frustrations? more under the tag. idk if i can even call these takes, more like just a general clarification of where i stand on things. And then it's gonna be back to regularly scheduled whatever.

so, if i don't mention it here but you saw it in one of the Haute Takes posts i rb'd, i basically feel neutral about whatever the hell got said there. couldnt care one way or the other. 1- RPF

don't like it. dont really give a damn about ppls characters rly but this is Different. This is taking a person who ALREADY EXISTS and caricaturing them (without their knowledge OR consent) to fit within the parameters of what you believe them to be like, or to fit a particular narrative. I'm very, strongly against this. 2- the fucking fat ppl stuff

Yeah hi, as a fellow chubby, tiny-aligned individual, please, for the love of fuck, don't woobify a fat person on the basis of their fatness. Thanks. Again, i'm not gonna be talking about this in detail because I've Got Some Baggage Here and i refuse to let it spill out on a public forum. Also strongly against this. Anyway. 3- comfort vs violence

so. i get that a lot of us use this as a coping mechanism for shit we've experienced and whatnot. i think largely my issue w the fluffy side of things is more based in the fact that I feel like I can't post grittier content, or like it doesn't get enough notes or whatever and I feel kinda shitty about that? that's it. like i enjoy both the fluffier end of things AND the fearplay aspects of gt almost equally, i just tend to lean more towards the fucked up end when it comes to my own work and for the LONGEST time I felt like i couldn't engage w this community or post that shit without getting some sort of backlash. in summary of the 3rd Thing, i don't actually care what you post, I just want to be able to post my own OCs going feral without people trying to either justify their actions or condemn me for making them Like That.

#alright thats it thats all of my #idk onions #take them #or dont #g/t adjacent #alright im done i did it we're done here im never gonna talk about this stuff again

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lesbian-vmin · 3 years

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Anonymous asked

I’m sure you probably have a boatload of question about the specific vmin 2021 seasons greeting clip, so if you do watch it, what are your thoughts on it? I felt awkward seeing the translation of that interaction but don’t quite understand 1. Why BH would include that as it makes Tae look like unrequited love sick puppy 2. Why is Jimin like that around Tae? It’s not once but happens a lot and it’s hard to keep putting it under the “Jimin is private and shy” rug. I picked it up because it looked strange to me. Then I saw the clip of him eating pizza with JK and he’s comfortable around him and almost gave the “I want to kiss you” feel 🤷🏻‍♀️

I love your analysis and I find myself sharing your sentiments a lot. I love all of BTS, their bond with each other and I feel like each "couple/ship" has its own unique traits that make them all lovable but in different ways. Abt J/k & Vmin, I felt this before but watching the recent 2021 package vid, I noticed again how Jimin seems to have an easier time "flirting" with JK or is smoother (eg. pizza mmt) but gets easily flustered with Tae, (eg. "Ilikeyou") /BE live makeup/ pushing game, etc

Why, hello there. And welcome to my blog where we focus on Vmin. Thanks for the asks. (Not sure if these came from the same person, but I’m answering them together. I also had to copy and paste to take the full name of the j/k ship out of the question because I don’t want it showing up under their tag, and in turn me having a flooded inbox of comparisons again.)

I’m putting this below a cut because it will probably get long.

(BELOW THE CUT)

First of all, I didn’t get any feelings at all, from Jimin or JK, of “I want to kiss you” on their pizza scene. Yeah, they were comfortable and a lot less flustered than how Jimin shows himself around Taehyung. I have my own theory of this that goes beyond just “Jimin is shy”, and I’ll talk about it here. If you get feelings like that from Jikook, maybe its because you want to ship them? But I don’t get those feelings at all.

When it comes to being the one “doing the things” (if that makes sense), Jimin doesn’t get as flustered as when he’s the one having the things “done to him.” So, if he goes up to Taehyung and does something shippy/fan service like. He’s not so flustered. If Taehyung comes up to him and does it, he becomes flustered. It’s mostly with Taehyung the other way around.

When it comes to doing things like that with JK, HS, and even YG, Jimin hardly gets flustered.

And I don’t think it has anything to do with him being “private and shy.” I think it has a lot to do with how he wants to perceived by people. And I’m going to say that this is something I feel pretty strongly about based on information we have been given.

I think it’s pretty clear that, on camera, Jimin likes to remain in control of the situation. He likes to know what’s going to happen, and he doesn’t like to be caught off guard. When he and Taehyung are playing around and flirting with each other (see every time they chase each other around or run into each other’s arms), and it’s clearly fun, he’s not bothered at all. However, moments when it seems almost too real is when he gets flustered. Or moments when he’s not expecting it.

When it comes to couple culture in Korea, they tend to not be as publicly affectionate as Westerners (at least in the US, I can’t speak for every Western country). Holding hands is acceptable, but you won’t see many couple doing any really big displays of affection, especially kissing and so on, in public. I think this is also why Jimin might get flustered sometimes (if we assume that he and Tae are together). He might feel flustered and on the spot if he doesn’t know what Taehyung is going to do. Reason I feel like this? Because the moments that they are less scripted are the times when he gets the most flustered.

We also know that (if we hold any value to what comes out of the members’ mouths) Jimin acts differently on camera and off camera. They’ve said this from the beginning. How onstage he always paints himself as this ‘dominant’ and ‘strong’ type of person, but he’s very cute off stage. BTS have enough off stage and causal conent where we get to see that, but I’m sure it translates to off camera, too. Because...and I know I bring this one back up all the time, but Taehyung said that Jimin acts cute to him off camera. Jimin, eyes darting to the camera and Taehyung while subtly shaking his head, didn’t seem to want Taehyung to tell us about that. But because of Taehyung (and the fact that the editors left that part in for us), we now know that Jimin likes to act cute (at least to him) off camera. And thanks to BTS in the buzz interview, we know that this is likely true. Because they said that he’s spoiled, and Taehyung is the one who spoils him the most.

I just think that Jimin doesn’t like to be caught off guard. And, although he doesn’t try so hard to seem like a strong man anymore, I don’t think he wants to be seen as small and weak or too submissive, so he still tries to keep at least part of his original “strong” persona that he originally intended to create for himself. If he’s not like that with Taehyung in their daily life, he might feel awkward putting that kind of persona on around him sometimes (not all the time). Because it’s probably in his instinct to be soft around Taehyung, but he still wants to show his persona to us on stage and on camera. Does what I’m saying make sense?

When it comes to JK, it’s easy for people who ship j/k to say “look, Jimin does this so naturally with JK, so obviously this ship is real”....but then Jimin also does it naturally with every other member. He hardly gets flustered with any of them (unless he’s caught off guard most of the time). So it��s a poor excuse for that pairing. Not saying that there’s not other reasonable points for j/k. But that’s not one of them.

Another point that goes for JK specifically is that he’s the youngest member, and I think that goes part of the reason why Jimin is okay acting like that with him. A lot of the times it looks more teasing and playful than serious. Like with the pizza scene.

I see the potential of J/k being real, don’t get me wrong. But I don’t ship them the same way I ship Vmin. And I don’t see them having more of a chance of being real than Vmin. At least, not based on my own observations, and no J/k analyses has been able to convince me otherwise.

#answered #anonymous #vmin #vmin analysis

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yaboyspodcastpalace · 2 years

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Ohh, since you've mentioned different W359, ships, the rarest ones I love for the ship ask: Pryce x Eiffel and Rachel x Jacobi

pry/ffel

Squick / Just nope / A trainwreck you can’t look away from / Mehh but they are bloody everywhere / Not interested but no negative feelings / I need to see how I could make it work / BroTP / Cute / I love them / They rented a room in my mind and are here to stay

FUCK YEAH PRY/FFEL......... dude i was the one who started the tag after the finale, and while most of my shipping is based on extensive headcanons post canon (some nice hurt/comforty, some "hey wouldn't it be Funny to highlight some stuff cutter and eiffel had in common, stuff that kinda feel familiar to pryce in a sea of absolute unknown? wouldnt it be funny tht people always find worth in eiffel for people he doesnt know nor remember? wouldn't it be hilarious to emotionally crush them both and also their friends?" which, it is, it is REALLY funny), i have to admit i can always indulge in some pre canon pry/ter/ffel 😏

(the bolded&striken bc, well, it is cute in Some scenarios, and while i dont think abt it as often as i used to, there was a time i didnt thought about anything else)

rachel/jacobi

sorry, i strongly hc rachel as a lesbian, and i dont particularly like jacobi enough to be flexible with that headcanon :')

[send me a ship!!]

#there was........... jkddfgdfkjghñ djfhgkdg there was a collective au Long Time Ago w/ a shall we say evil eiffel and i made #an entire pry/tter/ffel branch and that sandbox was SO FUNNY okay it was delightful ... evil bisaxualité and pansexualité #god 2018 was a hell year but these characters kept me going #statetement ends #thank youuuuuuuuuu!!! and sorry for the rant! its been some time since i thought abt my old rareotp :'0

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xtrippydragonx · 3 years

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About Me

Why am I doING THIS FUCK HOW DO YOU WRITE THESE

Uhhh sup, y’all can call my Casey or Rex. I’m 21 (birthday is May 29th), a woman, and I like to draw and play vidya gamez. I’m also autistic so if I ever seem awkward in an interaction, that’s probably why lmao. Most of my blog consists of the stuff you’d typically expect on a tumblr blog; funny posts and fandom stuff. It is also worth noting that as I am an adult, this blog will occasionally contain content with adult themes.

This blog is basically just for my niche interests/hyperfixations and random shit. On this blog, you’ll find (almost exclusively reblogged) content for the following:

Corpse Bride (I’m most known for this hyperfixation)

Popee the Performer

Pokèmon

Doki Doki Literature Club (Yuri IS best girl and I WILL fight you in a Denny’s parking lot over this)

Breath of the Wild (Yes my favorite champion is Mipha, no I am not ok)

Danganronpa (mostly V3 but sometimes the other games as well)

Warrior Cats (Runningnose is my favorite character)

Minecraft

Left 4 Dead

Criminal minds

Here’s some other things I’m interested in but either haven’t really had a chance to dive into, or aren’t hyperfixations:

Kid Icarus: Uprising

Tales From Moominvalley (I’m also somewhat interested in The Moomins Return!)

Beastars

ENA

Payday (the second game, specifically)

Bojack Horseman

The Walten Files

Harmony and Horror

Five Nights at Freddy’s

My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic

SCP Foundation

Sally Face

Poppy Playtime (wanna be clear that no, I do not support the creators morally and have no plans to support them financially- but the game is cool and the talent that the devs put into it is worth acknowledging!)

Avatar: The Last Airbender

Jojo’s Bizarre Adventure (I’ve only watched the anime tho so I’m currently clueless abt anything past Stone Ocean lmao)

The Blacklist

One Piece (RIP Ryunosuke ;-; I promise that’s not a spoiler lmao)

Zombieland Saga

My ask box is always open! Whether you wish to discuss theories or opinions about a shared fandom, get to know me better, or anything else, you’re always welcome to send something my way! I love and am honored when people are interested in my ramblings, so never worry that you’re bothering me or anything, I promise you’re not.

Sometimes you’ll occasionally see some random tags on a post I’ve rebloged. This is a guide to what they mean!

‘Favs’: my favorite posts! Sometimes they’re fandom related, sometimes I just think they’re funny.

‘S.I’: stands for “self indulgent”, it’s basically a tag of me being thirsty for fictional characters (mostly Victor Van Dort). Fair warning, a good portion of it is NSFW because I have brain rot and need to be banished to the shadow realm bc horny jail isn’t enough for me anymore.

‘Answered asks’: every ask I’ve answered, compiled under a tag for your convenience! If you’re interested in my thoughts/opinions/theories/etc about corpse bride, this tag is a good place to start.

‘Might come in handy’: things that I want to save incase I need them later. Mostly drawing references/tutorials, but there’s some other things scattered about this tag as well.

‘Vent tag’: A tag where I can reblog posts with ideas or feelings I strongly relate to; I tag all my negative reblog posts with this. It will likely contain themes of depression, anxiety, trauma, suicidal ideation, etc. If this sort of content is a trigger, I would recommend blacklisting this tag.

‘A hot original on tungle dot hellsite’: all of the posts that I’ve made! This tag is a WIP so bear with me lol.

Also, please note that I am only human, and, again, autistic. This means that I may sometimes say or do the wrong thing. If I do this, it is probably because of human error, rather than malice. Please assume this is the case and let me know so I can correct my mistake. I try to make sure I don’t reblog from anyone sketchy but sometimes I can’t find a post anywhere else so if that occurs, reblogging does NOT equal endorsement here!!

Whelp, that’s about all I can think of for now. I’ll probably update this post as time goes on! Thanks a lot for reading; I hope you enjoy your visit to my little corner of the internet! Stay as long as you need, traveler /ᐠ๑•ω•ᐟ\ฅ

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captain-onyourleft · 3 years

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Rules: Answer 30 questions and tag 20 blogs you are contractually obligated to get to know better.

Thank uuu sweet @beinggaydoincrime !!!

Name: Kristýna (Kiki)

Gender: female

Star sign: aquarius (sun, virgo moon, libra rising :D)

Height: 5′6 (169cm) so like in the middle range where I get just close enough to get stuff from the higher shelves but also not tall enough to be sure it won’t fall down in a messy way so I have to get a chair anyway dfgjdfkgjn

Time: 15:48 and also past like 3hrs since I wanted to study for math exam that I have in a week but time blindness exists so I will have to deal with it later today

Birthday: January 24th

Favorite bands: BTS, Ateez..and then like I have variety of fav songs from different bands but really I can’t come up with the names rn

Favourite solo artists: Dua Lipa, Tame Impala, Calvin Harris, Bruno Mars, Miley Cyrus, Halsey, Billie Eilish, Rihana, Ariana Grande, Galantis, Bryce Vine,......and maaany others

Last movie: Kung-Fu Panda <3

Last show: I think it was The Mandalorian? (I think that was the last show I watched bc then I stopped bc I knew I would get distracted during my exam season if I did otherwise :D)

When did I create this blog: I think it was February 15th 2015 (to be closer to the cool and funny mcu text posts I kept on finding on insta)

What I post: like...a mix of everything, this blog is layers of my current interests, cracking up but also very serious and interesting text posts from the depth of the internet (bc compared to every other platform, the kinds of ideas exchanged here feel the most stimulating and don’t make me tired from ppl)

Last thing I googled: ramyeon - saw it on a gifset and wanted to see what kind of a korean food it was

Other blogs: I could’t keep track of them if I had a different blog for every fandom so I’m stuffing happily everything here :D

Do I get asks: from mutuals <33

Why I chose my url: I wanted something catchy/funny from mcu connected with Steve Rogers and catws was a very fav of mine (and still is), so there came up Sam Wilson’s line <3

Following: 1135.....ok I did not expect that, I haven’t checked that number in a while lol

Followers: 396 - my lovely audience, thank you for supporting the chaotic clown I am so far <3

Average hours of sleep: 7 - 9

Instruments: violin, I can remember bit of playing the flute, AND I am learning my fav songs from youtube tutorials on keyboard we have in the basement.

What I am wearing: literally the kinds of clothes I’ve been wearing the past 4months bc of online uni - sweatpants, t-shirt (one I dyed myself and the pattern turned out so well so I love it a lot - fun story, it was white and very cool w/jeans when I first bought it, but bc I was not educated about fast fashion enough back then, I bought it from Zara so its cool texture very quickly deteriorated. I tried sewing a little “it’s lit” on it and bc it was not symmetrical, it looked even worse xD two years later being stashed in the back of my drawer, I decided to dye it and now it’s alive and functioning at its best again, with a little “it’s lit” at the front! <3), and a HOODIE bc it’s cold here rn

Dream job(s): film production manager - or an actor, or an artist (but these two i have no idea how to do so that’s why it’s a dream job)

Dream Trip: Australia, New Zealand, West Coast, South Korea, Caribbean islands, really anywhere plspls I miss it so much TT

Favorite food: this is very specific but there is something sooo soothing abt sushi rice w/soy sauce. Also banana coconut chocolate chip cookies I’ve made like 6 times in these past 5 weeks.

Nationality: czech (this is a very small country and I feel amazed everytime someone even a tiny bit references it bc...I know we have the symbols such as beer, picturesque Prague center, but other than that..like I still feel we are very ordinary over here..also bc I’m becoming to feel more strongly abt how borders are again a social construct that aids nationalism and prevents healthy interactions and empathy towards other people, so that is why :D)

Favourite song: can’t choose one ever so the cURRENT one is Do I Do - Stevie Wonder

Last book I read: I think it was MDZS and I nEED to get back to it asap bc I stopped in the middle bc uni semester happened :’c

Top 3 fictional universes I'd like to live in: mcu, and can’t think of really fav two other ones so the ones that come to my mind rn: The Untamed & hp

i tag: @underaswift-sunrise @thosefinelines @victoriannarwhal @tootiredtoosadtooangry @betweencrossedblades @till-dawn-do-us-part @freshwoods @yeetlinglaozus @flythesail @space-ace13 @benniiie no pressure!!

#tag game #christine talks #this was fun aaaa #i loved rambling abt these things #esp the t-shirt lol i love sharing it #beinggaydoincrime #thank uu :33

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dastardlydandelion · 3 years

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i’ve seen quite a bit of meta floating around abt sam’s situation vs tory’s and how that enhances their rivalry but i’ve seen v little abt how how fighting itself means different things to them and how i personally think that rly shows itself in the school brawl so i’m going to babble on abt that for a min.

so to recap what most ppl already pinned down: tory and sam’s beef isn’t just about miguel. far from. tbvh i’d ever argue it’s mostly *not* about miguel but he factors into the situation so strongly bc miguel is the *one* thing tory had that (at the time) sam didn’t. it isn’t just abt him, it’s abt what he represents. it’s abt sam seemingly (re)staking her claim to one of the only good things in tory’s life. from tory’s perspective she has very little in contrast to sam. sam lives in wealthy encino, has her own car, a membership at a country club, and participates in karate bc she’s a legacy child and to do so is at her leisure. her dad has his own personal dojo she can practice in whenever she wants and oh yeah, her lessons are free bc her dad is her sensei. sam who could easily afford karate lessons doesn’t even have to, her dad actually jumps at the chance to give them to her.

tory has to work for everything that’s hers and then some, supporting a mother with frail health and taking care of her bby brother. tory’s life is more precarious and vulnerable than sam’s bc of her financial and living situation, and frankly, she needs self-defense skills more than sam does. remember when she’s at the store with aisha and describes to her how some perv tried to grab her, a move she then blocked? how she stabbed him in the face with her duster/bracelet??

i feel like the gravity of that is lost on most ppl bc in context, tory’s almost bragging abt it and showing off a lil bit. and why wouldn’t she?? she thinks aisha is a badass, she saw her breaking boards blindfolded!!! she thinks aisha is cool and she wants aisha to think she’s cool too, so she’s telling her smth abt herself that she correctly feels aisha would admire. but context aside, it’s v scary and sad that tory was in a situation where she had to do that.

tory had kickboxing training even before she joined cobra kai. going off some of her dialogue to miguel, abt how some ppl in this world have to fight for everything they have, i’m going to assume her safety applies here. given that her financial situation is so precarious, i don’t think tory would’ve taken kickboxing classes unless she felt like she had to. like— don’t get me wrong, tory clearly enjoys fighting. it’s prolly a good way to relieve all the stress she’s under, having head of household responsibilities at 16/17. but we see in s3 when her mom can’t rly work anymore and therefore she has to work even more herself, tory leaves the dojo specifically bc she can’t afford lessons. so that leads me to believe that even if tory enjoys fighting, she wouldn’t spend money on it unless doing so was of necessity to her.

tory does not live in a world of stability. her mother’s health is precarious and unstable. her financial situation is precarious and unstable. even working two jobs she didn’t have enough to cover rent. it was so, so heartbreaking but u could see it in her eyes that she was considering the landlord’s offer. she was considering sleeping with some gross ass adult man who berated and belittled her just to have the stability of a home. imho she would’ve done it if kreese didn’t handle the situation (and he definitely didn’t do so for selfless reasons, but that’s another matter entirely so i’m not gonna go into that).

sam, on the other hand, doesn’t just have stability, she has luxury. again, the big house, her own car, wealthy, supportive, healthy parents who have the time and the means to be there for her and provide her with whatever she wants, let alone needs. fighting is v different for sam. from sam’s perspective, karate is meditation. karate is a way to find balance, to center yourself and spiritually connect with your body. karate is recreation and sport, tournaments where rules ensure everyone’s safety at the end of the day and fighting with honor scores u points while fighting with dishonor gets u disqualified. where fighting with honor is “fair” and fighting without honor is “dirty.”

now, i know sam *theoretically* understands karate from the self-defense perspective too. bc she’s heard daniel’s stories. bc she used it against kyler when he made her uncomfortable. bc she and robby got into it at the mall to come to demetri’s defense, thereby actively protecting another person. but sam does not have daniel’s lived experiences of struggling with poverty or being put into harm’s way as gravely as daniel was in his youth (at least not until the school brawl, i’m getting there). sam never had to stab a pervert in the face bc he predated upon her and grabbed her. sam did face bullying, yes, but as hurtful as being slut-shamed on the internet is, her safety was not threatened in that situation the way tory’s safety has been threatened, nor the way her father’s safety was threatened in his youth.

i definitely think the context of their situations influences how each thinks of fighting. tory intimately understands fighting for survival in a way sam does not, in a way sam simply cannot relate to. tory doesn’t adhere to the rules the way sam does bc rules have never done shit for her. actually, the rules themselves keep her down, her mother got fired from her job at the restaurant precisely bc she was bringing home leftovers to feed her hungry children. tory has no reason to distinguish between dishonorable fighting and honorable fighting bc at the end of the day, fighting is a necessity for tory in a way that it is not a necessity for sam. tory doesn’t fight to win points or to meditate, or to spiritually connect with her body. tory fights for self-preservation.

from sam’s perspective, tory fights “dirty.” from tory’s perspective, sam lives in a fantasy world where there’s some kind of manufactured distinction between fighting “fair” and “dirty” only for those who have the security and luxury to made that very distinction. to tory, fighting is fighting and that’s that. to sam, fighting is a discipline, an art, a tradition, and is meant to be practiced with a level of etiquette shown to your opponent. bc that’s what tory is to sam, an opponent. but sam isn’t an opponent to tory— she’s an enemy. these are not the same things.

i think the way tory and sam understand fighting really rears its head in the school brawl. tory’s had it with sam, she’s had beef with her since the moment sam accused her of stealing and it reaches its tipping point during the party bc first, sam beats her in the drinking competition, embarrassing her in front of everyone, and then she goes and kisses miguel. who isn’t just tory’s bf, but one of the only good things in her life at that moment.

on top of that, like, okay, tory is v aware miguel used to date sam. so when she’s dating miguel herself, i think she does take a kind of satisfaction in that, in knowing she’s “taken” miguel from the pretty, privileged princess who has everything else, pretty privileged princess who once accused her of stealing and would then go on to mock and ridicule her. i think it increases the sting for tory when sam follows up beating her in the contest with kissing miguel not just bc she’s hurt, but bc it’s an added slap in the face that sam “reclaimed” this one good thing tory thought she’d managed to “take” from her.

come the school brawl and sam is aware tory’s angry. tory announces on the damn loud speaker she’s coming for her, prolly to embarrass her in front of everyone the way sam embarrassed her the night before. fight ensues and they’re matching each other p well, i’d say tory mostly retains the upper hand bc she had the element of offense on her side while sam’s blows were primarily defensive…it’s slightly in tory’s favor but rly could go either way until the point where tory breaks out the spiked knuckle duster/bracelet.

if u look at sam’s face after tory puts it on, like…she’s shocked. she’s frightened. she was not anticipating that at all. tory on the other hand, has a mocking expression and from her tone, i kind of think she’s reveling in sam’s reaction. bc tory knows full well sam has never had to fight the way she has. sam’s never actually had her safety compromised so it’s like. utterly incomprehensible to her the moment it happens.

tory is the first person who has ever actually threatened sam’s safety and tory knows that, and she relishes it. from tory’s perspective, sam is just as foolish as she is pampered, and she gets to be the one to snatch sam’s sense of security away from her the moment she introduces a weapon to the situation and shows sam; ‘no, this isn’t just a karate match. i actually want to hurt you, and i am going to use whatever i have to do that.’

and…i think she was just trying to hurt sam, personally. ik a lot of the ck fandom thinks tory wanted to kill sam. and i actually think sam herself thinks tory wanted to kill her bc of the visceral reaction she has to tory afterwards. sam has ptsd after the school brawl and it’s not just bc of tory, it’s clearly also bc of what happened to miguel. what robby did to miguel out of anger, anger not created by— but definitely inflamed by —the fact miguel and sam shared a smooch. but sam also has nightmares of tory trying to kill her and it’s tory’s voice that makes her freeze up during the fight at the laser tag place.

i think sam also inevitably associates tory with what happened to miguel, bc while robby, not tory kicked him over the railing, it was tory who started the brawl. and miguel went upstairs specifically bc he was trying to get tory off of sam. he followed them up there bc he was tryna calm tory down. so i think that’s also why sam is so shook by tory after, that inevitable association with miguel’s fall/coma. but i defo think bc tory was the first person who ever actually threatened sam’s safety for real, sam felt like tory was going to kill her. and to be fair, when tory gets sam on the floor and yanks her hair back, it appears that she’s doing so specifically to expose her face/throat area as she pulls her opposite arm back to stab.

sooo with that i 100% understand why so much of the ck fandom and sam herself would think tory was tryna kill her, but i personally don’t think that. i think she was trying to scar her face. i think tory might have specifically been aiming for the mouth bc she wanted to punish sam for the kiss. stabbing/slicing her mouth would be targeting a place on sam specifically associated with the incident that pushed tory’s anger over the edge.

i also think it’s entirely probable tory was just unleashing all of her built up stress on sam during that fight. tory was more aggressive not just bc she’s the one more pissed off but bc her nerves are fucking fried. she throws all of her negative emotions in the brawl and she has infinitely more of those than sam, created by her precarious and fraught living situation wherein she’s had to endure much more hardship than sam and she’s constantly on her guard, fully aware of how fragile any semblance of stability she manages to carve out for herself/her family is. while sam, on the other hand, gets to live in what must appear to tory as this soft, fuzzy fantasy world where mom and dad take care of all the important stuff and sam doesn’t have to worry abt a thing.

i maintain that i don’t believe tory was tryna kill sam, but i do believe she rly wanted to hurt her. and she did…sam is hospitalized after the fight. tory goes back to cobra kai to train for the next one. bc that’s what tory’s life is, one fight after the next. she doesn’t have the luxury of treating karate as a means for meditation or recreation like sam does. and i truly think that impacts that dynamic more than often given credit for.

#reference #not gonna put this in the main tag #bc ck fandom hates tory and i don't need anymore crawling up my ass abt being the weirdo who posted the nunchaku noncon #or the weirdo who keeps clogging the ao3 tag with bizarre crack planet prison au #i am too annoyed to deal with the stupid tory is a sociopath arguments #no she's not u asshat she's a v stressed out teenage girl with too much on her plate and she overreacted #ofc i think she went overboard actually tryna stab sam #actually slicing into sam's arm so deep she needed stitches #but like miguel says tory needs help and their rivalry is deepened by sam's utter inability to understand her #sam is errything she wants and can't have and sam unknowingly throws this in her face all the time #and sam's obliviousness makes her resent her privilege even more #bc living the way she does tory cannot afford the same obliviousness nor can she afford to treat fighting like a game reserved for the ring #the same rules that make sam's life cushy are the ones that restrict tory and keep her down #my meta

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nonbinaryresource · 4 years

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ive been thinking abt this for a little while & have been needing to ask someone abt it. i am nb & have always considered myself trans but recently ive not been vibing with the trans label bc i am so sick of seeing ppl exclude & invalidate nb ppl. ik that i shouldnt stop doing smth just bc other ppl r being assholes but its so tiring to see ppl constantly say how u dont belong or arent valid. srry this is long & kinda rambly i just dont really know how to feel abt it

I will directly address your ask, but I’m going to start by telling you a story about my journey with identifying as asexual and queer.

When I was about 11, my friends suddenly started drooling over magazines and calling people hot, and I didn’t know what it was, but I knew I did not feel whatever it is my friends were feeling.

Until I was about 16/17, this part of me remained a mystery to me and to my friends. I never had crushes, I never found people hot, I never liked complimenting people physically, I was uncomfortable with sex on TV, and I didn’t even like platonic touch. Now my group of friends were all repressed and closeted queer folk, so I didn’t have to deal with “being left behind” as my friends dated. But the later we got into high school, the more my friends began discovering and exploring their sexualities. A freshman became a part of our friend group and was openly trans and gay. One friend came out as gay. Another as bi. They started commenting more and more about other’s looks and having crushes.

Still, there was nothing on my end. My friends used to think I was just being vague and secretive because this is what I tended to be like. I don’t think they’ve ever realized how much of it was that I truly didn’t know or understand what my lack of sexual feelings meant or that it could even mean anything. I used to just consider it a “nothingness” of myself. Until, by complete chance, I came across the term asexual. I immediately connected with it. It explained so much that I didn’t even know I needed explained.

I came out quickly after that and I was really excited and happy and proud to know who I was and what how I felt meant. My friends were great and supportive. My mom was a little ignorant but overall supportive. AVEN was great and a community for me. But if I tried to talk about it anywhere else online…

Well, the effects of how people treated me would fester for years. See, I came out as asexual before exclusionism (the specific movement of anti-aro and anti-ace erasure and gatekeeping from lgbt+ spaces) was a movement or a named thing. Yet exclusionist attitudes were exactly what I faced. My queer friends all completely accepted me as one of them and I helped co-run our school’s new GSA with the rest of them. But online, as a teen, I was facing 30+ year olds telling me I wasn’t queer and that I was just trying to seem special and that I needed to shut up about my asexuality and my experiences and that I wasn’t valid and that asexuality wasn’t a real thing and that even if asexuality was a real thing it wasn’t valid and it certainly didn’t matter.

I graduated high school and went to college and was no longer really in touch with my group of friends. I therefore completely cut myself off from any lgbt+/queer community, even though a friend invited me to join the college’s queer association. I stopped participating so much in online asexual spaces. I become wrapped up in other things.

A couple of years went by and a lot of things in my life changed. By chance, mod applications for a blog about aro and ace headcanons for a fandom I enjoyed came across my dash. I had extra time on my hands and thought I could help, so I applied and was accepted. This increased my exposure to the aspec community again and thrust me back in… just around the time exclusionism was becoming a specific and named movement of bigotry.

At the same time I resisted these ideals, I was also still hurt and unhealed from what I’d gone through as a teen. I internalized a lot of the hatred and gatekeeping. I was so hurt and so tired. I just wanted to be able to exist in peace. And people I considered myself one of were harassing me and dismissing even my biromanticism. So I struggled with my identity and my asexuality. I did not specifically become an exclusionist, but I turned my back on the lgbt+ community and spaces. I did not consider myself lgbt+ because I learned that doing so only brought pain and upset and made me feel alone and isolated. I didn’t speak a lot on exclusionism or inclusionism, but at some point I did make a plea to my fellow aspecs to just let the larger community go and be our own community and accept that maybe we could be straight. I did it out of desperation and hurt, wanting to stop feeling targeted and attacked and to stop seeing the fighting on my dash and in the tags. I just wanted us all to be happy and feel accepted and supported.

On that post, one wonderfully kind and patient person opened up a discussion with me, explaining their own hurts over exclusionism and being so damn exhausted of them and fellow aspecs being targeted and excluded and written out and not supported and feeling like they had to split their asexuality from their other queer identities and how being asexual was a part of them and how it had strongly shaped their experiences, especially with realizing and coming to terms with the other parts of their queer identity. And through their raw honesty I came to realize… I had never stopped to process the harassment I had faced and the pain and hurt that cut me so deeply.

It was a changing point for me. I realized that I had handled my pain in a bad way and had ended up lashing out at other aspecs instead of the people who were actually hurting me. I realized how much I had hurt myself and held myself back and cut myself down and dismissed parts of myself trying to fit into the box exclusionists had laid out for me, as if I could ever made them happy enough to stop harassing me and just let me exist. I cut myself down for them, but the truth is that exclusionists don’t just want aspecs “out” of the community. They want to hurt us. They want us to hurt. They want us to doubt ourselves. They want to feel strong and powerful, and they feel they can achieve this through bullying us. Perhaps some, like myself, are trying to appeal to their oppressors by pointing out another vulnerable group they could target more/instead. They are passing on hurt instead of standing up to it and so they are actually festering in hurt instead of changing anything.

Today, I am a staunch inclusionist. I understand myself and the issues aspecs face much better. I am a more compassionate person regarding the confusion and upset aros and aces have over their identity and their place in the world. I feel more stable and confident regarding my identity as an asexual - and now as an aromantic - queer person who is lgbt+.

But it was a long, hard, difficult journey to get here. It was full of a lot of turmoil. I wish I would have had a happier journey where I felt more supported and accepted, and I hope I can help provide more stability and support for future generations to not have to go through what I did.

My point (or one among a few, anyway) is that I deeply and personally understand how you are feeling and the decision facing you now. As someone who went through a very similar experience, my advice to you is to take care of yourself and to prioritize your mental health.

It’s okay if you can’t handle identifying as trans right now. Maybe you do need some space from the label (and definitely from the hatred and gatekeeping). Maybe you need to pull back from certain communities or blogs or discussions.

However, I will say that not identifying as trans may not bring the peace you desire. It may end up making you feel even more isolated. Not identifying as LGBT+ certainly didn’t help me. It was reactionary and it only made me feel like there were less spaces for me. That said, you may find peace in this. But I think the bigger action to take is to separate yourself from those who are saying harmful things more than to separate yourself from a label you feel really suits you. Use your block button liberally. Don’t force yourself to partake in spaces where gatekeeping is allowed or encouraged. Follow and listen to more people who are inclusive.

I think burnout like this is unfortunately pretty common. You do not have to force yourself to face this hatred or exhaustion because you think it’s the right thing to do. It’s okay to pull back and just take care of yourself. Just work on some self-care. Work on building up a community of people around you who don’t resort to bigotry and hatred and exorsexism and gatekeeping and identity policing. Engage only with what you can actually, honestly handle.

We will confront and move past this bigotry only by acting as a united front. The responsibility for improving things isn’t on any one person’s shoulders. And no one needs to be on the front lines 100% of the time, especially at the cost of their own wellbeing. Take care of yourself and rest now before you completely burn out and break down.

You do not have anything to prove, okay? I have both hope and faith that there is a lot more to your journey - a lot more good things and a lot more happiness and belonging. Take whatever time it is you need to help heal yourself and recover from the hurt and harassment that’s been plaguing you. You are important and you matter, much moreso than whatever label you use at whatever point in time. It will be okay.

I am here for you.

~Pluto

#mod pluto #validation #exorsexism #gatekeeping #exclusionism #long post #identity policing #self care #identity #coping #queer #lgbt #mod tera #anonymous #ask #answered #asked #nonbinary

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