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#i feel like he's annoyed a lot n therefore it transfers over into him being annoying it's a never-ending cycle :\
suresimon · 2 years
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hey may <3 that rhymes. anyways I LOVE DAVID N SIMON N JESS SO FREAKING MUCH ?? so much that i had to put it in caps ! they’re just so fun and unique, and maybe a tad annoying ( @simon)
I LOVE U ANON!!! n worry not simon will be back 2 be a tad annoying on the 7th <3
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thedrarrylibrarian · 3 years
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hello librarian! i was wondering if you could find any fics where they are both professors, and preferably a lot of fluff? thank you so much❤️
Hello! Your holds have arrived!
I went ahead and opened this list up to all professor fics, not just fluffy ones, so please do check tags, but having Harry and Draco as professors is such a fun trope, especially when they are back at Hogwarts together. I hope you enjoy these fics as much as I have!
Professors Fics
K-I-S-S-I-N-G by mymoon4ndstars (328 words, rated G)
You know how that old song goes: Harry and Draco, sitting in a tree...
Paper Cranes by @malenkayacherepakha (1,212 words, rated M)
The notes were one of their most beloved traditions. It started before they were even really a thing, when they were making their first cautious approaches towards each other. It all began with a delicately folded crane on Harry’s desk at the end of a long day.
The Mystery of Potter's Bad Mood by @glitteringvoids (1,798 words, rated T)
Potter was grumpy this morning. Well, he was grumpy every morning. He would get less grumpy as the morning went on until he was almost pleasant by lunch; only almost though. Draco wasn’t sure Potter ever was pleasant. The fact that he could make Draco laugh and they had actually fairly interesting conversations without seriously insulting each other didn’t mean Draco had to like him. But this morning was different.
idiots love company by @thelegendofwinchester (2,502 words, rated G)
Even as a professor, Harry cannot seem to avoid the hospital wing. Draco is concerned, Ron is accusatory, and Hermione is the only one who uses her brain. Featuring oblivious Harry and his awful wardrobe choices.
An Accidental Heart-to-Heart by @mobilicordis (3,777 words, rated T)
Harry never saw himself becoming a professor. Nor did he ever see himself running into his arch nemesis, Draco Malfoy, on the train to Hogwarts five years after they finished school. He really didn't expect their first civil conversation to go like this, either.
A Little Less Than Civil by froggy-o (3,943 words, rated G)
A little less than civil. That's a light way to put the way the Professors Malfoy and Potter act around each other. From prank wars to arguments in the hallway, it's obvious that the two despise each other. OR, how a small misunderstanding led the students to think that Draco and Harry hated each other. And, well, it's entertaining so if they play it out for a little while...
Out of This World (And Into Yours) by Leontina (5,268 words, rated T)
After several years teaching at different schools, Harry and Draco transfer to Hogwarts and make an agreement to avoid one another. This works well until a student goes missing, and Harry and Draco have to work together to find her, finding themselves in the process.
To Catch a Dream by @huldrejenta (5,695 words, rated M)
Potter wants to keep things casual. Draco catches feelings. Damn it.
The Difference a Rabbit Can Make by Darkravenwrote (7,046 words, rated G)
When a clueless student is cursed by an unknown, missing object, Professor Malfoy finds himself in over his head. As much as Draco hates to admit it, they do not have the correct expertise. The school has no other choice but to call in an Unspeakable for help. Draco was not prepared for Harry Potter to turn up on their doorstep the very next day.
Professor Potter and his Magical Menagerie by @dracogotgame (7,530 words, rated T)
Harry Potter descends on Hogwarts with a horde of magical beasts. Professor Malfoy is not amused.
Jinx! Buy me a coke. by nitsanapocalypse (11,364 words, rated T)
Draco is the only person who understands that a jinx is about to kill Harry Potter, therefore it is his duty to follow him around everywhere and make sure he doesn't die.
Newts by @astolat (13,926 words, rated E)
“I’m twenty-eight!” Harry said. “I’ve been an Auror for ten years! You want me to go back to Hogwarts now?"
Tea for Two by @whysotensepotter (14,187 words, rated T)
Draco Malfoy is the last person that Harry expected to be working alongside when he took the open Defense Against The Dark Arts position at Hogwarts, but now there's nothing to do but put their past behind them.
Augury Forcast by @xx-thedarklord-xx (22,880 words, rated E)
Draco had always known that teaching at Hogwarts would be an experience, he just didn’t think that meant a flash flood in the kitchens, a windstorm in the Great Hall, or a sandstorm in the Quidditch pitch. Months of extreme weather would grate on anyone’s nerves, but to have Potter, the ever annoying Divination Professor, around every corner was even worse. So much for a quiet life at Hogwarts.
Against All Odds by momatu (53,815 words, rated E)
Beauxbatons is hosting the first ever Quidditch Summer School for children from all over Europe, and Harry has promised to enroll Teddy as his birthday present. Meanwhile, Draco is stuck in his office, putting together the first ever Quidditch Summer School for children from all over Europe during, when he should be enjoying summer holidays.
A Secondary Education by Thunderbird587 (234,528 words, rated E)
Fleeing the aftermath of his recent divorce, Draco Malfoy takes up a post as the new Potions Master at Hogwarts. At first he believes his hopes for a fresh start are dashed when he sees that a certain boyhood rival is on staff there as well. But Harry Potter is being weirdly nice to him, leaving Draco no choice but to play along. As Draco reckons with his ex-wife's infidelity and questions about his own sexuality, he finds himself going to an openly gay Potter for guidance. As their friendship deepens, Draco realizes that there is quite a lot that Potter can teach him. And that he is surprisingly ready to learn.
❤️ As always, if you find a fic you enjoy, please remember to leave the author a kudos or a comment! ❤️
Lots of Love and Happy Reading!
P.S. You can find these fics and the other lists been recommended in my AO3 Sub-collections!
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ladyfogg · 3 years
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Heal My Wounds - Part 1
Heal My Wounds - Part 1 of 3
Fic Summary:  After you meet the infamous Kit Walker, you realize that he cannot possibly be guilty of everything they say he is. Determined to treat him with kindness and compassion, you end up falling hard for the handsome man with gorgeous dark eyes. But you both are playing a dangerous game and you must decide just how far you’re willing to go to save the man you love. Part 2. AHS Masterlist. 
Fic Rating: 18+
Fic Song: War by Poets of the Fall
Pairing: Kit Walker/Female Reader
Warnings: Language, Smut, Slow Burn, tw: mental illness, tw: asylum setting, tw: violence
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A/N: I ended up finishing this a lot quicker than I thought I was going to. Enjoy! For @tatestripedsweater​ and @kitwalker02​. 
You’ve seen many things during your time at Briarcliff. Being a nurse, you deal with truly awful alignments, either self-inflicted or acquired under “mysterious” circumstances. This usually means that a guard roughed the patient up or Dr. Arden can’t be bothered to treat them himself. You learn to expect the worst, not in the patient but in what they are afflicted with. In truth, your heart goes out to every one of them. Regardless of what sent them to Briarcliff, it is always your mission to treat them with the respect and dignity they deserve. 
Which is why, when you hear that the infamous Bloody Face, aka Kit Walker, has been transferred to the asylum, you try not to be concerned. You knew all about Bloody Face and what he’s done and when they arrested Kit, you aren’t ashamed to admit that your first thought was, “Good riddance!” However, you force yourself to change your tune once you learn you’ll be treating him at some point. Plenty of dangerous people had come and gone through Briarcliff’s doors. You aren’t going to treat him any differently than you would the other patients.
No matter how dangerous he is. 
It isn’t long before you find yourself face-to-face with him. He is there less than a day before he’s brought in to see you, his lip and his nose a bloody mess, the red a stark contrast to his pale skin. His appearance surprises you even though it shouldn’t. You read the papers; you’ve seen his face. Yet, in person, he’s so handsome it takes your breath away and you need a moment to compose yourself.
“What happened?” you ask Kit as the guard forces him to sit on the bed. He is bound with cuffs and chains, an overkill if you ever saw one. 
“He got into a scrape with another inmate,” the guard says in a gruff voice. “Bloody Face here got the worst of it.”
“They’re called patients, not inmates,” you correct him with a glare. “And I wasn’t asking you, I was asking Mr. Walker. That is his name, that's what he will be called while he’s under my care.”
The guard, whose name you think is Hardy, looks taken aback by your words. He is a new one who hasn’t had to deal with you yet. While many of the female staff are nuns, you are not. You are there purely for medical purposes, not religious ones. Therefore, you have no reason to force politeness to the guards. After all, why should you? They never show you any. The sooner Hardy learns you will not tolerate his bullshit, the better. 
You have been talked to by Sister Jude several times regarding your attitude but since you are appointed by the state, there is nothing more she can do. Eventually, the both of you came to a mutual understanding. In fact, you suspect she admires your non-nonsense attitude as it most often gets results. If there is a patient in your infirmary, you can call the shots. Of course, the male guards don’t like that, but they can get fucked. 
When you turn back at Kit, he has a surprised look on his face. 
“Are you hurt anywhere else?” you ask. 
“Just my face,” he answers. “And my hands.”
You glance down and see his bruises and bloody knuckles. Clearly, he defended himself but given the fact that the other patient hasn’t been brought it, you assume Kit got the worst of it. You go about collecting what you need to disinfect his wounds. 
To Hardy, you say, “Remove his chains.”
“No can do. Not for this one.”
“His knuckles are bleeding, and I need to examine his hands to make sure nothing is broken or fractured. Remove his chains.”
There is an intense stare-off between you and the guard before he relents and unbinds Kit. Once his restraints are gone, you wave Hardy off. “You may step outside.”
“Now hold on a minute! This man—”
“Has rights. He deserves the same privacy as every other patient. Besides, I won’t have you getting in my way while I patch him up. You can step outside and wait. I’m more than capable of handling myself.”
Hardy snorts, annoyed and done with arguing. “Fine by me. Don’t complain if you get killed.”
“I won’t, considering if that happens, I won’t be able to. Or are you not aware how death works?”
With a sneer, he stalks away, and you heard him mutter, “Stupid bitch.” under his breath.
“Smart bitch actually,” you call after him. “And shut the door on your way out, please.” It slams behind him and you return your attention to your patient. 
Kit looks at you with awe. “Forgive me for saying so, doc. But you’re one tough broad.”
You laugh, pulling a chair over so you can sit in front of Kit. “I’m not a doctor, I’m a nurse. And you have to be though, especially in this place. The gentle don’t last long. Now, let’s take a look at those hands.”
Kit extends his hands, and you take them in your own, examining his wounded knuckles. After moving each finger and his wrists, you determine there was nothing broken or fractured so you set about cleaning the scrapes. Kit watches you the entire time. Even though you don’t look up from your work, you can feel his eyes on you. 
“I think you’re the only person in this place who’s not afraid of me,” he says after a stretch of silence. “This is the first time I’ve been treated like a person since this whole thing started.”
“Should I be afraid of you, Mr. Walker?” you glance up and are immediately taken in by the soft expression on his face. 
“Call me Kit,” he says. “And I never hurt anybody. All the things they say I did are lies. I have no idea what happened to those girls and I have no idea what happened to Alma other than they took her.”
You consider his words for a moment and pull away, letting his hands fall to his lap. The bloody towel you hold is tossed onto your tray of supplies before you sit back and cross your arms. “Alright then, Kit. Tell me why I should believe you.”
Kit doesn’t seem to know what to say at first. You’ve dealt with numerous patients who swear up and down they didn’t do what they were accused of. Most of them had. Because of that, you are pretty damn good at reading people because even the best liar has a tell. An eye twitch, a knee bounce, a lip bite…anything. You trained yourself to look for these things because, in your line of work, it means the difference between life or death. 
The man in front of you doesn’t look like he’s hiding anything. More to the point, you don’t feel scared of him. You aren’t made of stone; you feel fear just like everyone else. You are simply better at masking it. However, that violent vibe you’ve learned to sense doesn’t radiate from Kit and as you look into his deep brown eyes, all you see is fear, frustration, anger, and sadness. They all pass one after another on a loop. 
“I don’t have a reason,” Kit finally says after a long pause. “If I were in your shoes, I wouldn’t believe me either. But you showed me kindness no one else has and I’m grateful. Really.”
“I think this place wouldn’t be half as bad as those colleagues of mine showed a little kindness too.” You go back to work, cleaning his hands. “This is going to sting a bit.”
Kit flinches as you pour alcohol over his cuts. Carefully, you clean them some more before you are sure they won’t get infected. Once that’s done, you wrap them in bandages. 
“There, good as new. Just try to keep those bandages dry for a bit. You can take them off tomorrow to let the cuts breathe. Let me make sure your nose isn't broken.”
Kit remain still as you gently cup his face, turning his head left to right in order to take stock of his injuries. Being so close, you realize how handsome he truly is. That jawline is to die for, and his dark curls looks so soft, you want to run your fingers through them. Once that thought entered your brain, you scold yourself. He is your patient and is in the asylum to see if he is fit to stand trial for murder. Thinking about him in any way other than professional is a dangerous game. And very stupid.
“That bad huh?” Kit asks with a slight smirk. 
It isn’t a malicious one by any means. In fact, it’s almost hesitant. Like he is afraid to be so comfortable joking with you. You don’t blame him considering what he has gone through. You offer him a smile in return. 
“Just a split lip and it doesn’t look like your nose is broken. It’s not even swollen. There shouldn’t be any permanent damage.”
You grab a fresh towel and dip it in warm water before gingerly cleaning the blood from his face. But before you can get far, Kit reaches up to stop you. Instinctively you freeze, worried that you may have hurt him. Maybe his nose is worse off than you originally thought?
“Did I hurt you?” you ask.
Kit shakes his head. “No, I’m just…” He pauses as if he’s not sure what to say next. “I’m sorry but I just...why aren’t you scared of me?"
“You really want me to be, don’t you?”
“What? No! Of course not. I’m just…” He stops when he sees you holding back a smile. “You’re messing with me.”
You shrug and go back to your work. “A little,” you admit. “But to answer your question, I’m not scared of you because I believe you. I don’t think you killed or even hurt anyone. I just don’t sense that sort of evil in you. As for what you claim to have witnessed, that I don’t know about. But I do know crazy, Kit Walker. And you’re not it.”
It is like the remaining tension leaves his body and Kit slumps against you, a few tears running down his cheeks. Without thinking, you pull him into a tight hug, letting him rest his weary head on your shoulder. The warmth of him is invigorating and you savor the feeling. It’s been a long time since you’ve been touched in any way. Long work hours make your social life non-existent and you carefully keep your distance with your patients.
Except Kit, it seems. You don’t know why your well-constructed walls are crumbling under the weight of one interaction with one man.
“You have no idea how much I needed to hear that,” he says, his voice muffled by your uniform. “No one will listen. No one believes…”
“I’m listening. But first, sit back before you get blood all over me.”
With a weak laugh, Kit pulls away.  He wipes the tears with the back of his hand which you’re grateful for because you were about two seconds away from gently brushing them away. Pulling yourself together, you continue to clean his face while he tells you his story. It’s definitely strange. The idea of being abducted and probed was one you’d rather not think about.
But you don’t just listen to his words, you watch his expression, pay attention to the tone of his voice and his body language. Even though you’ve heard some of it through the papers, it’s different hearing it from him directly. Once he’s done, you’re even more certain he didn’t kill anyone. No one who talks about their missing wife that softly and heart felt could possibly be a vicious serial killer.
It’s his eyes that give him away. There’s so much emotion and depth, you can’t help but believe him. You wish you can explain it, but some things are beyond explanation.
“You sure I’m not crazy?” Kit asks when you don’t respond to him right away.
“After that story, you’re absolutely batshit.”
He chuckles when he realizes you aren’t serious. You pull your hand away, finally done getting rid of all the blood, but he stops you with a gentle touch to your wrist. “Thank you for listening. I could tell you weren’t judging when I spoke, and I appreciate it. I appreciate everything you’re doing for me.”
“It’s not my place to judge. Only heal.” You sit back, breaking all contact with him, hoping it’ll clear your spinning head.  “There. Now you’re just as handsome as you were before. Do me a favor and at least try not to get majorly hurt again for the rest of the day?”
“He started it.”
“Everyone always starts things here. And given your current situation, it’s best to keep your head down as much as possible.”
“What’s the point? They’ve already made up their minds about me being guilty,” Kit says bitterly as you roll your tray over to the sink. He sees a pack of cigarettes on your desk and nods towards them. “Mind if I have one?”
You wave for him to go ahead as you clean up. “I wish I had words of encouragement for you. I wish I could say it will all work out. But unless they catch the real Bloody Face, your choices are either here or the electric chair.”
Kit pops a cigarette in his mouth and lights the end. “I have to see the state-appointed shrink. My last hope is to convince some head doctor that I’m not crazy.”
Your heart goes out to him. His situation really is a double-edged sword. If he proves he isn’t crazy, then they are sure to send him to trial and his death. If he keeps spouting off about strangers abducting him and his wife, then they will keep him at Briarcliff. Either way, he loses. It isn’t fair. 
“Stick to your story,” you tell him. “If it’s really the truth and that’s really what you know happened, then stick to it. I mean, it’ll probably get you confined here for life. But at least you’ll be alive.”
“Yeah, but at what cost?”
You don’t get to respond. The door bursts open and Sister Jude strolls in with Hardy right behind her. You wonder how long he waited outside before running to tattle on you.
“Why is this patient not restrained?” she asks in that stern voice of hers. 
“I needed to clean his hands and couldn’t very well do that when they were bound,” you say. “He’s all set now.”
“In the future, I would appreciate it if you would leave the door open. No young woman should be alone with this one,” Sister Jude says, motioning to Kit. “Not until he’s been properly medicated.”
“He deserves just as much privacy as any of us do when being medically treated.”
“Not here. Not under my roof,” Sister Jude counters. “I like you, girl, but don’t push me on this. Kit Walker may have the looks of an angel but he’s far from it.”
“She didn’t do nothing wrong,” Kit says angrily.
Sister Jude motions for Hardy to grab Kit. Anger courses through your veins when you see how he is manhandled. “Hey, be careful! I don’t want to have to treat a dislocated shoulder,” you say.
Kit sends you a grateful smile which Sister Jude unfortunately notices. She steps up to him and in a low voice says, “Quit your leering! You don’t fool me, Kit Walker. You can keep spouting that innocent act all you’d like but I know there’s darkness in your soul.”
Kit’s body tenses and you see him clench his fists in anger. The nun yanks his cigarette out of his mouth and puts it out on your desk. 
What a bitch.
As he is led away, Kit dares to look back at you and you see the glimmer of another smile before he is gone. The empty room suddenly seems more so without him there. It’s strange how comfortable you feel around him, especially considering the circumstances. After cleaning up the remnants of his cigarette, you sit back at your desk. But focusing is not in the cards for you. The rest of the day, you find yourself constantly sidetracked by the handsome brown-haired man with the deep brown eyes. So much so that you get angry with yourself.
You are hardly ever swayed by just a pretty face. Then again, there’s more to Kit than that. Although, it certainly helps. The way he stood up for you even when he was in trouble spoke volumes about who he is a person. You don’t think there is a selfish bone in that man’s body.
The next day during meds, you don’t see him in the Day Room with the others. It suddenly occurs to you that after the fight the day before, he probably was thrown in solitary. You hate solitary being used for any of your patients but the thought of Kit in a small dark room, bound and alone makes your heart break in your chest. All you can do is hope he’ll be out of there soon. 
At least three days pass before you see him again, mostly because you spend most of that time in the infirmary rather than in the common areas. It’s early morning and you are enjoying a rare moment of silence when the door opens, and Kit is led in. He’s bleeding from a cut on his forehead, which has already begun to bruise and swell. 
“What happened?” you demand as you leap to your feet. 
The guard, a brute named Dixon who you can’t stand, forces Kit onto one of the beds. “He slipped and fell.”
You doubt it. Your eyes slide over to look at Kit, who gives you a subtle shake of his head. “Oh really?” you ask Dixon, narrowing your eyes in distrust. “This seems like a pretty big bump just to happen from a slip.”
“Just treat him so I can get him back with the others,” Dixon orders. 
“He hit his head. I’m going to have to keep him here for a few hours to make sure he doesn’t have a concussion.”
“Fine.” Dixon shoves Kit until he was laying on the bed. When he reaches for the restraints, Kit fights back. 
“No! Let me go!” Kit struggles against him.
“Those aren’t necessary,” you declare, crossing the room to try to stop Dixon. 
But the guard isn’t having any of it. The next thing you know, he pushes you away, hard enough that you trip over your feet and fall right on your ass.
“You son of a bitch!” Kit exclaims. He leaps up and punches Dixon square in the jaw.  
What happens next is a flurry of blows and swears as the men fight each other. Knowing this can only end poorly for Kit, you manage to get back up before prying the two apart. “Enough!��� you snap. “No fighting in my infirmary!”
Dixon is practically snarling as he wipes blood from the corner of his mouth. “You don’t scare me, Bloody Face. If I had my way, you’d be in the furnace by now.”
Kit makes a move to go at him, but you stop him with a hand on his chest. “Mr. Walker, lay down so Dixon can bind you. If you don’t, I know the right injection that’ll make you so tired, you’ll wake up next week.”
Kit’s eyebrows knit together as he looks at you with concern. You throw him a subtle wink. Breathing heavily, he sits back on the bed and allows Dixon to restrain him. Even though it pains you to do so, you help to keep up appearances. But you don’t tighten them as much as you should. Kit’s jaw is clenched as he watches Dixon’s movements, as if he’s waiting for him to attack again.
Once Kit is secured, you reach into your pocket. Unbeknownst to the guards, you carry around a sharpened scalpel for your own protection and the second Dixon lets his guard down, you press it to his neck, making him halt his movements.
“Listen here, you sick fuck,” you growl. “If you ever lay a hand on me again, I’ll shove this so far into your neck you’ll have to take your meals through a tube. Are we clear?”
Dixon sneers and takes a step back. “Whatever you say, woman. Call us when this psycho is ready to go back to his cell. And I’d be careful who you threaten. You wouldn’t want to end up like one of your patients, now would you?”
His threats send a chill down your spine, but you keep your hand steady, the scalpel still pointed at him as he backs away. It’s not until he’s out the door that you cross the room so you can lock it behind him.
“Are you alright?” Kit asks the moment it’s clear the two of you are alone.
You cross the room, pocketing the sharp instrument as you go. “I’m fine, Kit. Don’t worry about me.” As quick as you can, you undo his bindings. “Sorry about this. I fucking hate using bindings, but it was the only way to get Dixon to leave. He’s got a nasty streak in him; I’d stay clear if I were you. Are you okay? What happened to your head?”
“That asshole smashed my face into the wall,” he says as he sits up, rubbing his wrists. “He caught me wandering out of the Day Room.”
“Now why would you go and do a stupid thing like that?” you ask, hands on your hips. “Didn’t I tell you to keep your head down?”
“I just needed some peace and quiet. On my own terms and not in a dark dirty cell. Besides, others wander. Why shouldn’t I?”
“Because the others aren’t wanted for murder. They mean to make an example out of you, Kit.”
“Yeah, I noticed.”
You sigh and head to the icebox in the corner of the room. As you put together an icepack for him, you say, “These guards will look for any excuse to get rough. And they especially have it out for you. You have to be careful.”
“I hate this. I hate all of it. I feel like I’m going crazy. My head is so cloudy, and I can barely feel anything.”
“Those are the meds. Meant to keep you docile.” You carry the ice pack over to him along with supplies to fix up his head wound. “And suppress other impulses.”
“It’s inhumane, that’s what it is.” Kit barely makes a face as you clean the cut and dress it. “How am I supposed to defend myself if I don’t even feel like me? I think I’m slipping, doc.”
“I told you, I’m not a doctor.”
“Well, what should I call you then? You never gave me your name.”
You tell him your name and press the icepack to the bump on his head, “Here, hold this. Your nose is bleeding…again.”
Kit does as he’s told. After a moment, he says your name. It’s soft and beautiful coming from his lips and you can barely focus long enough to hear his question. “Can I confess something to you?”
“I’m no priest or nun.” You start to dab at his nose with a damp towel.
“It’s not that kind of confession. I wasn’t just wandering for the sake of wandering. I was trying to come see you.”
You pause, heart pounding in your chest as your eyes flickering up to meet his. “Why?”
“I feel safe here.”
You go back to your work. “I’m glad you do, but I don’t want you to get yourself hurt just to see me.”
“I didn’t know that asshole was gonna beat the shit out of me just for wandering.”
“Say you have cramps.”
Kit raises his eyebrow. “What?”
“If you want to see me…I mean, come to the infirmary, tell a guard or one of my assistants that you have cramps or a stomachache. It’s something most people don’t question since stomach stuff is really common, ‘specially around here. It usually comes with vomiting or diarrhea and no one wants to deal with that.”
Kit smiles. “Good to know.”
You finish cleaning him up and add, “But don’t overuse the excuse. Otherwise, if something is really bothering you, they won’t listen.”
“Understood. Do you really think I have a concussion?”
“No. Your eyes are clear and you’re not slurring your words. I figured it would at least give you a little reprieve from everything out there.”
Kit’s smile widens. “Thank you.”
“You’re welcome. Although, I will have to at least keep your feet bound. That way if the guard comes back, I can quickly bind your hands before they enter. The lock will only temporarily slow them down since they have keys.”
“Hey, if it means spending time here with you instead of out there with everyone else who thinks I’m a vicious murderer, I’ll take it.”
Once you have him settled in the bed, you give him a cigarette before going about your daily routine. It is nice having Kit there. Occasionally, you talk as he smokes, but for the most part, the both of you enjoy each other’s company. He asks you about yourself, minor things, nothing too personal or probing, which you appreciate. You feel like he’s also trying to keep some distance between you, understanding your position and what a friendship with him could mean.
A few hours later, when you hear footsteps coming your way, you quickly bind Kit’s hands.
It takes a second for the door to be unlocked but then it opens and Dixon enters just as you’re pretending to check Kit’s bandages. “Walker here needs to see the shrink,” he says gruffly, crossing the room towards you.
“I was just about to call you.” Your lie is so effortless it even impresses you. “He doesn’t have a concussion. You can take him.”
Dixon is rough as he unbinds Kit and yanks him off the bed. To his credit, Kit doesn’t fight back or resist, understanding the stupid rules he needs to follow if he’s going to get anywhere in this place. Once he’s gone, you start to wrap up for the day, finishing any last minute tasks before getting ready to go home. As you’re straightening up your desk, your eyes catch the medication logbook, and an idea strikes you.
Sitting down, you flip through the pages, taking a look at the medications that are prescribed to each patient. At the bottom of the list is Kit’s name and, with a quick flick of your pencil, you manage to subtly cut his doses in half. It’s not much. You wish you can outright stop giving him the meds but that’s impossible. Hopefully, this way he’ll start to feel like himself.
You expect to be worried or guilty for what you’ve done. But honestly, you don’t. It feels right. Far too many patients have lost themselves in Briarcliff and you’re determined not to let Kit be one of them.
---
Kit’s world is not even recognizable anymore. One day he’s home with his beautiful wife, the next, she’s gone, and the police are accusing him of murder. He sees those damn creatures every time he closes his eyes, hears that loud noise echoing in his ears. If it’s not that he’s hearing, it’s the screams of the other patients.
When he saw you for the first time, heard you snap at the guard for mistreating him, he thought he was still dreaming. You have to be a dream. Nothing that good or sweet can possibly exist in this place. The way you look at him makes him feel seen for the first time in months.
He can’t get you out of his mind. After that initial visit, all he could think about was your warm embrace and the concern in your eyes.
To have someone care enough to worry about him meant everything. Especially during such a dark time. Trying to sneak away to see you had been a stupid idea but one he thought was worth the risk. He needed to know if he would have the same feelings each time, the same security and comfort. Do you really believe him or are you just a great actress?
The second time, you’re just as kind and generous as the first, and Kit knows that he is in trouble. A different kind of trouble than he already is in. This one is emotionally based and has the potential to end very badly.
Kit knew himself well enough to recognize the signs that he is falling for someone. You have only known each other a short while but already he can’t get you out of his mind.
The day following his first appointment with Dr. Thredson, he sees you in the Day Room and has to stop himself from immediately going over. It’s clear you’re busy, making the rounds and checking in on the other patients. Kit watches from a distance, smoking a cigarette as he leans against the back wall. Your kindness extends to everyone you come in contact with. He watches with admiration as you sit patiently with Pepper, checking on the small scrapes and abrasions she has.
You smile and his breath gets caught in his throat. Fuck you’re gorgeous.
Curiously, Kit watches as you slip something into Pepper’s hands before moving on to someone else. It turns out to be a small chocolate, which Pepper immediately devours before going back to her book. Kit smiles.
You catch each other’s eyes across the room just then. It’s a charged moment, like nothing in the world matters but the two of you. He makes a move to walk towards you, unable to help himself anymore. But then meds are called, and the moment is lost. Kit stubs out his cigarette and gets behind Lana as everyone lines up for their medications.
“This is bullshit,” Lana mutters under her breath. “Not all of us need medication. I don’t like that they force it on us. Makes my head all foggy.”
“That’s the point, isn’t it?” Kit asks, echoing your sentiment from the day before. “Keep us under control.”
“I have a point. One I’d like to shove right up their asses.”
Kit snorts at Lana’s blunt phrasing. At first, she had been weary of him but now the two have developed a mutual understanding. Neither one of them belongs there and it’s better to support each other than fight. The line moves and Kit watches you join your assistant to make the medication process go faster.
When it’s his turn, you hand him his cup and briefly, his hands touches yours. It’s like a bolt of electricity shoots through your fingertips and into his, coursing through his veins at such a speed it makes his head spin. On the outside however, he remains calm, bringing the cup up to his lips to knock back his meds. Except, he notices they look slightly different than the days before. His eyes briefly dart to yours and there’s a subtle change in your expression. Your eye closes just enough to seem like a wink without fully being one.
Kit downs the meds with less hesitation than before.
Sadly, he can’t talk to you after that. Once meds are distributed, you go back to the infirmary and he’s left alone once more. Briefly he considers faking a stomachache to see you again, but your warning is still ringing in his ears. The fact that you offered him the excuse was risky on your part. He doesn’t want to get you in trouble by overstaying his welcome in the infirmary. Even though he is curious about the medication change, he lets it go.
It’s not until he’s in his room that night that he realizes he’s feeling clear-headed. Usually, once lights out comes around, the meds have him so loopy he rolls over and goes to sleep. Or at least tries. This time, however, he feels more like himself. Of course, that also means he’s more aware of the dark and the loud screams, but once they subside, he’s left with silence and his own thoughts.
She must have lowered my meds or something. She’s fucking amazing.
Kit smiles, curling onto his side as he allows himself to think about you without worry or fear. Again and again your meetings replay in his mind and when he closes his eyes, he can almost smell the scent of your laundry detergent and perfume. The way your soft hands gently held his made him flex his fingers instinctively. Those lips of yours…he’d given anything to kiss them.
Kit’s eyes fly open when he feels his cock swell. It’s been so long since he’s felt any kind of sexual desire even before being medication. It’s a wonderful change of pace, however now he has a slight problem. Kit feels ashamed of himself for thinking of you sexually. All you’ve done is show him kindness and he’s thinking about doing all sorts of things to you. With a frustrated sigh, he rolls onto his stomach and tries to ignore it.
This turns out to be a bad idea. The pressure of his body against the hard mattress causes wonderful friction and Kit finds himself pressing his hips down for some semblance of relief.
Fuck it, he thinks, shoving his hand in his pants. I need this right now. I need her.
It’s been a long time since he’s done this himself. It takes a second to find the right angle and rhythm. He stays on his stomach, arching his back just enough to give his hand room as he jerks himself off. Burying his face in his pillow, he bites down to stifle his moans as he pictures you in your nurse’s uniform. The way it hugs your frame suddenly assaults his vision. When you had leaned over him to check his head, he had caught just the barest hint of cleavage. Then, he had purposefully closed his eyes to be respectful.
Now, it’s all he focuses on, thinking about how he’d love to run his tongue across your salty flesh while his hands cupped your tits. He’d bury his nose in your skin and inhale your scent before kissing and sucking every bit of you he could reach.
Would you moan his name? He bets you would, and he bets it would sound fucking fantastic.
Kit grips himself tighter, speeding up his movements as he keeps the fantasy going in his mind. Suddenly, the angle is too constricting, and he rolls onto his back, biting his bottom lip as he hand brings him closer to coming.
He pictures it being your hand. Pictures him laying in that hospital bed, you leaning over him and jerking him off as you watch his face. He thinks of you telling him to come for you and as soon as that thought crosses his mind, he explodes, coming all over his own hand as he quietly moans your name.
Sweating and panting, Kit lays there in his bed, heart racing and head spinning. He uses his blanket to clean himself up, tossing it onto the floor before curling into a ball. He expects the shame or guilt to hit him any moment, but he can’t find it in himself to feel either. All he feels is aching in his heart for the real thing.
The next morning, when they open the cells, he remains in bed. Once he hears the guard come closer, Kit begins to moan in agony, clutching his stomach.
Thankfully, Hardy is the one who check on him. Ever since you told him off, he’s been mostly tolerable to Kit. At least to his face.
“What’s wrong?” the guard asks.
“My stomach,” Kit moans. “I think…I think I ate something bad.” When Hardy kicks Kit’s soiled blanket aside, he adds, “Wouldn’t touch that if I were you. I felt real sick last night.”
Hardy wrinkles his nose and gestures for Kit to get up. “Come on. I’m taking you to the nurse.”
Laying on the theatrics, Kit forces himself up, still hunched over with his arms wrapped around his stomach.
You’re sitting at your desk when he enters. The morning light is filtering in through the barred windows and it catches you ever so slightly. Enough to almost make Kit forget he’s supposed to be in great pain. When you see him, your face grows concerned.
“This one is moaning about a stomachache,” Hardy says. “Where do you want him?”
To his dismay, Kit notices you’re not alone today. There’s a patient asleep in one of the other beds. You’re out of your chair in a second, pressing one of those soft hands to his forehead.
“He’s burning up.” Your ability to lie so smoothly makes Kit admire you even more. “Here, let’s get him on this bed right here.”
Hardy and you help Kit onto one of the beds in the corner of the room, one that’s hidden behind a divider. “I’ll keep an eye on him,” you say, tucking Kit in. “It’s probably just food poisoning. I’ve told the cook a million times they need to store the food better.”
“Think he needs to be tied down?” Hardy asks.
“No, of course not. Have you ever dealt with a patient who’s tied down and soiling themselves? My job is hard enough as it is. I won’t be dealing with that today.”
Kit makes retching noises if for no other reason than to see Hardy grow pale and uncomfortable.
“Oh, you better go before he starts up,” you urge, shooing the guard away.
Kit keeps up the act until he hears the door close and you turn to him, giving him a wide smile. “Wow, bravo. Great work, Kit.”
He smiles, sitting up. “Thanks. Maybe I’ll have a shot as an actor when this is all over.”
You chuckle and glance over at your other patient to make sure he’s still sleeping before sitting on the chair by Kit’s bed. “How are you really feeling this morning?”
“Better, actually. Do I have you to thank for that?”
“Well…it did seem overkill to have you on such high doses of medication when you aren’t mentally unstable. I’m sorry I couldn’t take you off them completely.”
“You have nothing to be sorry for,” Kit says, reaching out to lay his hand over yours. “If anything, I’m sorry for you having to take that risk. I don’t want you to get in trouble, or worse, because of me.”
You look down at his hand and he immediately draws it back, worrying he may have crossed a line. There’s something in your expression that puts him on edge. He can see that you’re struggling, which only makes him feel worse. He berates himself for foolishly giving into his desires. Already things are tough, and the future is scarily uncertain. He’s on the hook for murder for fuck’s sake.
Before Kit can continue the self-deprecating spiral, you surprise him by carefully getting out of your seat and sitting next to him on the bed.
“Kit…” you say. “This friendship between us…I don’t know if it can continue.”
Kit’s heart sinks and he looks away from you, his gaze now fixated on the floor. “I don’t blame you,” he says. “It’s not safe being near me in any way. Honestly, it was stupid of me to come here like that. As much as I like spending time with you, I never want to put you in a compromising position. I’ve seen these guards and I know how they treat women. You’re in just as much danger here as I am.”
Your hand takes his, and he snaps his head up to look at you.
“That’s not what I’m worried about,” you say. For the first time since you met a few days ago, he hears the slightest crack in your voice. “I’m worried because, if we continue this friendship, I know that for me, one day, it might not be enough.”
His heart speeds up at your confession. Kit can’t believe his ears. The fact that you are feeling even the slightest bit of the attraction to him that he’s been feeling for you is enough to give him the sliver of hope that’s been severely lacking over the last few weeks.
Kit hesitantly links his fingers with yours, giving you every chance to pull away. You don’t. When he says your name, his throat is dry, and he has to clear it before he can go on. “I have no right liking you as much as I do. I don’t believe in God, but I can’t help but think that you’re my damn guardian angel. Because of you, I’m actually starting to think that maybe there’s a way out of this. Or at the very least, staying here won’t be so bad so long as you’re here.”
Your gaze softens and you look away, trying to hide the tear leaking out of the corner of your eye. With his free hand, Kit reaches up to wipe it away with his thumb. He can’t stop himself from cupping your cheek, needing to feel the warmth and softness against his palm. You shut your eyes, leaning into his touch, a shaky exhale escaping through your parted lips.
Your lips.
Kit’s eyes can’t look anywhere else. They look so inviting. He bets they’re just as soft as the rest of you, maybe even more so. Without even stopping to think what he’s doing, he starts to lean in, so slowly that you don’t seem to notice until you open your eyes to meet his. You pull your head back. Not abruptly or angrily, but enough where he gets the message to stop. Kit sighs with disappointment at the refusal. But a second later, you’re leaning in this time, at the same achingly slow pace he had been before.
Your lips brush and there’s a heated charge that soars between you, making you pause before you even properly get a kiss. Your eyes are wide as they meet his, searching for the same thing he’s looking for in yours: permission, acceptance, desire.
Kit closes the distance.
With one hand still cradling your face, he kisses you deeply, drawing your body as close to his as he dares. He feels you melt under his touch and it urges him to keep going, to keep kissing you, to deepen the kiss so he can savor the intense waves of desire washing over him.
You let him, opening your mouth so that his tongue can glide along yours.
It all becomes too intense for the both of you and you have to break the kiss, panting as your foreheads rest against one another’s.
“This is such a bad idea,” you say, the breathlessness of your voice making Kit’s cock twitch. “We have to be smart and we have to be careful. If we really can’t stay apart, then you have to listen to what I say and follow my instructions. Okay?”
“I can do that,” Kit says. He’d honestly agree to anything you say at that point. “Trust me, baby. I know the stakes.”
“Me too.” You take a deep breath and pull away, breaking all contact with him. It immediately leaves him cold and wanting more. “My assistants will be coming to collect the meds any moment. I need to go prepare.”
You reach out to cup his cheek and Kit holds your wrist, keeping your hand there for another moment so he could savor the contact. The way your eyes soften at him only makes him want to kiss you again. Instead, he settles for a peck on your palm before letting you fully pull away.
As you stand and collect yourself, you take a step towards the divider before you pause and look back at him. “No one can know, Kit. Not if you want to stay under my care. If anyone finds out there’s something between us, they’ll transfer me somewhere else and I won’t be able to protect you.”
The fact that you’re scared for him in this scenario and not yourself makes Kit want to throw you on the bed and ravish you. “I promise, I will find a way to clear my name,” he says. “Then once I’m out of here, I’ll take you away. Far away where this place can’t reach us.”
You smile and reach out to stroke his cheek again. “Easy there, Mr. Walker,” you tease, stroking his bottom lip with your thumb. “Keep talking like that and I may think you’re already falling for me.”
He watches you walk away, only one thought on his mind. Too late for that.
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twistedlymad · 4 years
Text
What if you get turned into a cat? (Part 1) (Ft. Ace, Deuce and Grim)
This topic is like... A MUST in so many fandoms :')
It feels weird that we don't have this topic.. Or maybe there is one but I haven't seen it yet. If there is one, please link it to me! Anyway, on with the show!
At Night Raven College, there are all types of classes for students to take that will strengthen their magic.
You've got Magic History, where you learn about your magic and where it comes from.
You've got Physical Education, where you strengthen your body and flying magic at the same time.
And you've got Alchemy, where you came from, Alchemy exists but it's not the same as Twisted Wonderland's Alchemy. Where you came from, Alchemy is considered somewhat magical and ancient. Yes, Alchemy is basically the transmutation of solids to liquids, and vice versa. But it's not potion and spell making, this is what you would normally call, Black Magic. But then, after arriving at this school, when has anything ever been normal?
So there you were, in Professor Divus Crewel's Alchemy class, and he just handed out your first assignment. To make a potion that changes your ears into cat ears. You and Grim worked together on this potion since you two are considered one student.
"Remember puppies! Follow the instructions carefully! Don't go adding unnecessary contents!" The professor reminded everyone as you all obidiently nodded.
"Fgnaaa, why doesn't this potion excite me?" Grim said while sitting on the table as you added the ingredients.
"Maybe because you already have cat ears, so this doesn't seem very surprising to you." You said as you read the instructions for the 5th time. You did not want to mess this potion up as you thought it would be fun to have animal ears for once.
"Okay, so now I stir for about 2 minutes." You read as you stirred your cauldron. Grim however was not helping at all, he was just sitting on the table next to you and looking at the cauldron.
"It says here I need to transfer it to a test tube now. Grim, can you continue stirring while I go fetch a test tube?" You asked the creature beside you.
"Yea, yea, go and grab whatever." Grim said as he took the stirring rod.
"Great! Don't put in anything extra!" You said as you went to find a beaker.
"Yea right, as if I'd put anything extra." He said as he looked at the ingredients, there, a special something has caught his eye, and most probably his heart and stomach too. It was a whole can of tuna.
"Fgnaaaa! JACKPOT!" Grim said as he reached to get the can. It was one of the ingredients but the potion only required a tiny bit of it, so there was a lot of tuna left in the can.
"(Y/N) won't notice it being gone. Itadakimasu!" As he was about to eat the remainder of the tuna, suddenly a hand landed on his shoulder.
"FGNAAAA!" Grim yelped and his paw hand slipped, causing the tuna can to fall.
"Jeez, calm down, it's just me." A certain dark orange haired student appeared beside him with a certain dark blue haired student on his other side
"YOU SCA- I mean, What do you two want?" Grim asked slightly annoyed. I mean, can you blame him? Poor thing just had a mini panic attack.
"Relax, we came to see how your potion is doing." Ace said as he peered into the cauldron.
"Hmph, of course the potion is fine! I, The Great Grim, prepared it! Why wouldn't it be fine?" Grim proudly said as Ace rolled his eyes.
"Yeah, sure, as if. I've seen (Y/N) going back and forth fetching ingredients while you just sat there for 3/4 of the class." Deuce retorted back.
"Why of course! (Y/N) is my underling! Why wouldn't she be doing my work?" Grim said proudly. They both almost smacked the creature on the head but they saw you coming back.
"Hey Ace, hey Deuce. You guys are done with your potion already?" You asked the boys.
"Yepp! Look!" Ace said as he pointed to his ears. There were a pair of cat ears on top of his head covered in dark orange fur. You couldn't help but smile brightly. You also noticed a pair of dark blue ears on top of Deuce’s head. 
"They're cute! Can I pet them?" You asked with wide eyes.
"U-Um... S-Sure..." They said blushing slightly. So you went ahead and pet their ears.
"So soft~" You cooed. Ace and Deuce blushed even more, but before they could say anything, the professor called you to present your potion to him.
"Ah, I have to go first, I'll come back later to show you my ears!" You said happily as you scooped up some of your potion and put it inside the test tube.
Remember when I said Grim had dropped the whole can of tuna? Guess where he dropped it into? :')
Well, the whole can fell inside the cauldron, ultimately increasing the tuna that was originally in the potion. Surprisingly enough, it didn't cause the colour of the potion to change, therefore you thought there was no problem with the potion.
Oh how wrong you were.
As you showed the vial to Professor Crewel, once he saw that the colour of the potion was correct, he nodded and gave you permission to drink it. And so you did. It took a few minutes for the potion to take effect. Once it did, a pair of (H/C) ears replaced your normal ears on your head. You squeal slightly and pet them. You were ecstatic to show the others your pair of ears, so you went back to your group of friends.
“Guys! Guys! Look!” You called to them. By the time you reach them, Ace and Deuce had already taken the antidote so their ears were back to normal. So, all three of them turn to look at you.
“Nice ears!” Ace said giving you a thumbs up.
“They’re very nice (Y/N).” Deuce said with a small smile.
“Hmph, at least my ears have flames with them!” Said Grim.
“Yeah, yeah.” As soon as you replied to Grim, the bell rang, signalling class was over.
“Aww... I was just getting to have fun with them...” You pouted. 
“Hey, at least now you know how to make the potion for it, just ask the Professor for supervision while you remake it in the future.” Deuce said, patting your back.
“Yea, you’re right.” You smiled back to Deuce. “It was nice having cat ears for a change.” You said as you took the vial for the antidote. But you stopped yourself.
“(Y/N)?” Ace said as reached out to shake you. As soon as he did, a cloud suddenly appeared and surrounded you.
“What’s going on?” Grim asked. 
“We don’t know!!” Ace and Deuce exclaimed. Shortly after they said so, the cloud had disappeared and your clothes were on the floor, but you were nowhere to be found.
“What’s going on here?!” Professor Crewel said as he pushed past Ace and Deuce to see your clothes on the floor. “Where is (Y/N)?!” 
“We don’t know sir!” Ace, Deuce and Grim frantically replied. But as soon as they did, a small sound was heard.
“Meow?” A (H/C) coloured cat poked it’s head out from your uniform. Ace, Deuce and Grim were looking at you with eyes as wide as saucers. 
“(Y-Y/N)? Is that you?” Grim asked.
“Meow.” You couldn’t understand him. 
“Grim?! Is this your doing?” Ace immediately asked him.
“No way! I didn’t do anything!” Grim argued back. As they were arguing, no one was paying attention to you. A butterfly had caught your eye and you decided to chase after it.
“STAY BOYS. STAY.” Professor Crewel finally had enough of this argument. “Right now, our priority is bringing (Y/N) back to her true form... Speaking of which, where is the cat?” Professor Crewel asked the boys, when they turned to look at the exit, they caught a glimpse of (H/C) coloured fur leaving the lab.
“Ace, Deuce and Grim, go capture (Y/N) this instant!” Professor Crewel commanded. “You three puppies! Follow me! We have to make an antidote!” The professor said as he lead three other students back into the lab.
Ace, Deuce and Grim were dumbfounded for a mere second, before they decided to chase after you.
Hi! It’s me, Lolz, there will be a part 2 to this! Because, this part is already so long :’)
Some spoilers for Part 2, Lucius will be included as well as some second-years. So, you can practically feel the chaos radiating off this scenario.
If I'm not mistaken, Part 2 will be up a few hours later, well, it depends on whether I decide to grind for the Bean's Day Event or not..... I will most probably get addicted so yeah.
Thank you for reading and have a lovely day UwU
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theheartsmistakes · 4 years
Text
The Last Night Part XIV
(A/N at the end)
Parts I-XIII:
Here is Part I
Here is Part II
Here is Part III
Here is Part IV
Here is Part V
Here is Part VI
Here is Part VII
Here is Part VIII
Here is Part IX
Here is Part X
Here is Part XI
Here is Part XII
Part XIII Part XIV
James and Matthew were hovering outside the Devil’s Tavern, which presented an august Georgian facade to the mundane eyes and was the site of many a municipal meeting and festivity. Or rather, as Matthew acknowledged, James was the one hovering, conspicuous in his anxiety, while Matthew leaned against the inn’s front wall, smoking a cheroot and gazing upward in the annoying way he did when he was overcome with boredom.
The Devil’s Tavern was the only place left in London that none of their parents knew anything about. Not even Will Herondale knew about his son’s inauspicious lease in the tavern and would therefore be the safest, most logical place for them to conduct their research.
“What time did you tell them to be here?” asked Matthew, still musing at something in the sky. “I do wish you’d stop fidgeting.”
“I told them noon,” said James. “But Christopher is not the most reliable man we know.”
“He is the most reliable when something is in need of exploding or a new specimen needs to be collected,” said Matthew. “Perhaps next time tell him that you have an enchanted box that needs to be unlocked.”
“Does this feel wrong to you?” asked James. “We’re supposed to spend this hour patrolling and we’re hiding in The bloody Devil’s Tavern from our parents.”
“This is, in a sort, patrolling,” said Matthew. “We’re conducting research on how to locate your demon granddad and kill the bastard, but in order to do that, we need to find a way for you to access the shadow realm again or it’s all for not. So, we’re doing our job, just not in the way we’re expected to be doing our job.” Matthew slapped James’s hand away from his hair. “I said stop fidgeting.”
“If we’re caught…” James started but couldn’t bring himself to finish the sentence. While the four of the Merry Thieves agreed that the risk was worth the reward of defying Charles Fairchild’s newly established rules, the risk still hung over James’s head like an anvil waiting to drop. He’d reassured himself time and time again that ordinary chivalry demanded action and that his indignation had more to do with Charles’s complete need for control than the punishment being fair or responsible.
“Oh for Raziel’s sake, we won’t be,” said Matthew. “We’re trained in being discreet, remember?” Just then the door to the Tavern burst open and a head attired with goggles, poked out.
“I don’t see them,” said Christopher before he turned his head to where James and Matthew were standing. He removed his goggles up into his hair, wiped his face with an emerald scarf, and shoved the door open with his shoulder. “What are you two standing out here for? We’ve been waiting for you in the Devil for nearly twenty minutes. Thought the parentals got a hold of you.”
“You’ve been here the whole time?” asked an exasperated James. “We’ve been waiting… never mind. Get inside, quickly, before someone notices us.”
“I must admit, I’m a bit tempted to see how red my brother’s face can get if he catches us deliberately disobeying him,” said Matthew as the sound of boots clambered up the wooden stairs.
“This coming from the one having a crisis over the thought of being strapped to his brother’s desk,” said James over his shoulder. Christopher laughed ahead of them.
“That was before I witnessed my mother make him cry after threatening to strip us of our marks,” said Matthew.
James paused. “She made him cry?”
“Weep,” said Matthew. “I believe the words ‘yes, Mummy’ were said at least twice.”
“You lie!” said Christopher ahead of them.
“I exaggerate, Kit,” said Matthew as they reached their door, “but I never lie.”
The door burst open like a tightly wound jack-in-the-box as the three boys burst into the room. James walked across the room and took a seat at a small table in the window nook while Matthew made himself comfortable on the long sofa. Christopher met James at the table and busied himself with turning over the pages of an old book.
“Where have you lot been?” asked Thomas from the couch. “We’ve been waiting for you for twenty minutes.”
“They were outside,” said Christopher, examining the pages of the book.
James stood, rolling up the sleeves of his shirt to expose his forearms, as he walked to the center of the room. “All right, we have only forty minutes left of our patrol to come up with a plan on how to access the shadow world without the use of my useless power.”
“How’s that coming along?” asked Thomas.
“Am I in the shadow realm?”
“No.”
“That’s how it’s coming along.” He pressed his back against the wall opposite Matthew, Thomas, and Christopher. “It’s never felt like this before. Everything that usually works, isn’t. Chaos. Danger. Pain. Isolation. Even when I feared Lucie and Cordelia were trapped there, I still couldn’t push past this invisible wall.”
“Invisible wall?” asked Christopher.
“Yes,” said James. “That’s what it feels like, an invisible wall blocking me.”
“Perhaps you need more fiber in your diet,” grinned Matthew.
James squinted at him, unsure if he was joking, and decided to carry on without acknowledging  the statement. “We need to start researching a way into the shadow realm that doesn’t involve my ability.”
The sound of chair legs scraping against the floor turned everyone’s attention towards Christopher as he shoved himself away from the table. “I’ve read about this,” he stated, excitedly. “Pockets. Uh… uh… portals they were called, but they’re like pockets in our realm to other realms. You experienced something like it at the cemetery which allowed Cordelia to access the realm after you and for Matthew and Lucie to draw you back.”
“Brilliant,” said Matthew. “Now that we have an access point, let’s come up with a plan to kill the bloody bastard.”
“Well,” said Christopher, sliding his glasses back up his nose. “We don't necessarily have an access point.”
“You just said—“
“Allow him to finish, Matthew,” said Thomas, looking like a giant inside the low ceiling room. “Go on, Kit.”
“They move.”
“The pockets?” asked James.
“Yes,” said Christopher, his almost sapphire eyes, enlarged by his lenses, glanced around at the faces staring back at him. “They appear in a spot but only remain for 12 to 24 hours.”
“Brilliant,” grumbled Matthew and slipped lower on the couch.
“Is there any way to track these pockets?” asked Thomas, while watching James stand and pace the floor.
“I cannot recall,” said Christopher. “I read about them in the forbidden section of the library at the academy. I was researching alternative methods of travel and found an extensive research that featured combinations of dimensional manipulation.”
“In English, if you would please,” said Matthew, lolling his head to look at Christopher.
“I am speaking English,” said Christopher. “If you are requesting for me to simplify it for you, then be plain about it.”
Matthew rolled his eyes as Thomas asked, “Do you remember what book it was?”
“Of course.”
“Can it be found in a public library?”
“No.” The boys released a communal exhale.
“Well,” said Matthew as he picked a piece of lint on his jade trousers. “It appears we’re left with piss but no pot.”
“Not necessarily,” said Christopher, stepping forward into the center of the room. His eyes locked on his feet the way they often were when deep in thought. “There is someone who might be in possession of a copy or at least has the authority to access one.”
James and Christopher met eyes as they both came to the same solution at exactly the same moment. A smile curved on James’s lips and he chided himself for not thinking of it sooner before allowing disappointment to consume him.
“Are you going to leave us in suspense?” asked Matthew.
“Magnus,” said James. “We’re going to see Magnus.”
                                                             . . .
The girl who came through Cordelia’s bedroom door the next morning did not seem strong enough to carry the tray on which rested a cup of tea in a florid porcelain cup and a heavy jug of hot water for the washstand. She was hollow in the cheeks and narrow shouldered, her hair pulled back mercilessly into a single braid. Her dress and apron hung loosely, and her boots looked comically laced to such scrawny ankles.
She hummed to herself as she set the tray on the floor, transferred the jug to the washstand and brought the tea, her lips clamped in concentration to keep the cup from wobbling on its gilded saucer.
“Hello,” said Cordelia, her voice rough from lack of use. “Can you please tell me where I am?”
The girl looked up, her eyes expanded as the tea fell from her hands and shattered on the floor.
Cordelia gasped, as the girl let out a scream so loud, she nearly had to cover her ears. “SHE’S AWAKE! OH BY THE ANGEL, MISS CARSTAIRS IS AWAKE! COME SEE…”
Cordelia grimaced as she braced herself on her elbows and lifted herself up. Every muscle felt as if she’d went to bed sore and hadn’t used them again for several days. The light in the room seemed aged, as if it were late afternoon or early evening. She was used to the pale dawn hours, the birds’ thin choir accompanying her waking thoughts. Curiously, she did not feel guilty for sleeping so late into the morning. The room felt familiar to her. Not the emerald green wallpaper with gold etchings or the leather winged armchair, nor the desk with the stack of books resting closest to the window. A smell in the air reminded her of something. Wherever she was, she felt safe and glad to be there.
“CARSTAIRS IS AWAKE… HURRY! QUICK!” the girl’s voice carried down the other direction of the hall along with the shuffling sound of her absurd boots.
Cordelia shifted to swing her legs out from under the heavy covers when a sharp pain in her side stole her breath.
“Best to stay put,” said a familiar voice by the door. “Until one of the Brothers gets here.”
“Alastair,” cried Cordelia. “Finally, a familiar face. Where am I?”
“The London Institute,” said Alastair, as he stepped into the room in white pin striped pajamas. A wooden crutch tucked under his left armpit as he hobbled on a bandaged foot towards her. “Where we’ve been for the last week or so.”
“Alastair,” said Cordelia, looking at his leg. “What’s happened to your leg?”
“Broke it in three different places after being thrown through the air by that demon.” The bed dipped as he sat down beside her. “Don’t fret, sister, it’s nearly healed. The Brothers want me off it while the bones properly set. I should be good as new by next week. How are you feeling?”
“Sore.” She placed her hand on her rib cage and found an extra layer of padding beneath her nightgown. “Week? You’ve said we’ve been here for the last week?”
His dark eyebrows curved in concern as his eyes looked over her face. “Cordelia, what’s the last thing you remember?”
Cordelia thought about the last memory her mind could conjure. The picture looked muddy and weak in her mind. She’s a young girl running through a patch of daisies on a cliff’s edge, but that couldn’t be right. She’s a woman grown now. Another image of London through a carriage window as the moist air off the Thames hit her face. Ice cream dripping down her hand. Dancing under seductive lights with Cortana. James’s hands on her face as he kissed her on a desk. James kissing Grace. Saying goodbye to James.
“I left,” said Cordelia, closing her eyes to stop the memory. “We left, together. We were going to Alicante.”
“Yes,” said Alastair. “Do you remember what happened after? Do you remember the attack?”
“Attack?” asked Cordelia. “No, I don’t remember any attack. What happened?”
Alastair placed his on top of hers. “Maybe we should wait for Uncle to arrive.”
Cordelia gripped his hand in her own. “Alastair, what happened? What attack? Is everyone all right?”
He opened his mouth to answer when footsteps filled the hall and a chorus of people filtered in through the doorway. A sobbing Sona pushed ahead of everyone and enveloped Cordelia in a hug. Her mother felt weak, frail underneath Cordelia’s hands, she could feel the bones protruding from her shoulders and the bumps of her spine through the thick fabric of her dress. Her shoulder bone bumped Cordelia’s chin as she peered over it to see her Uncle Jem, dressed in his robes and quiet as a statue against the wall. In front of him stood Tessa Gray beside her husband Will. She watched the doorway, hoping and dreading, for James to walk through.
When he did not, she closed her eyes to stop the burn behind them and the pit that grew ever wider inside of her stomach.
“My darling, are you all right?” Sona asked, caressing Cordelia’s cheeks and hair. Cordelia noted the hollowness in her mother’s cheeks.
“I think so,” said Cordelia. “Alastair was just telling me about an attack?”
“You don’t remember?”
“No,” said Cordelia and looked to her Uncle. “I don’t remember anything past leaving the Institute with Alastair for Alicante.”
“It’s not uncommon for some memory loss to occur after the sort of head injuries she endured,” said a quiet voice inside of her mind, but everyone else seemed to hear it too as they all turned to Brother Zachariah. “With some rest and recollection of events, the memories may return to her.”
Sona sat on the bed beside Cordelia, their hands still joined. “You were attacked by a demon. It poisoned you with a barb in your rib cage. When Lucie and James found you, you were nearly dead from your injuries.”
Cordelia pressed her hand harder against her ribs until she felt the sharp pain of a recent injury under the pressure. “Why did it attack our carriage? Demons don’t normally just attack a random carriage.”
“We were hoping that you could tell us,” said Will across the room. “We’ve tried to locate it, but it left no other traces of itself except for the attack against you and your brother. No other sightings. No suspicious activity. Alastair can only recall up to the point of being thrown by the thing, but you were still conscious at that point. We thought maybe you killed it before succumbing to your injuries, but the lack of demon blood at the scene suggests otherwise.”
Cordelia closed her eyes and attempted to stumble through her memories again. She recalled arriving with Alastair to the Herondale manor. Alastair walking her to the door with an umbrella to shield her from the pouring rain. She was trembling at the thought of what she was about to do, of what she was about to lose. Alastair offered to go in with her, but she declined.
She couldn’t recall who answered the door or how she got up the stairs to the library where James often hid away from the world in the comfort of his father’s collection of books. She couldn’t recall knocking, but she remembered him answering the door and the orange glow of the firelight that matched the color of his eyes. She remembered the relief those eyes when it was she he opened the door to.
She could vaguely remember the words that were said, or when she left him, or finding herself back in the carriage with Alastair, but the look in his eyes when she said goodbye would remain with her forever.
“No.” She cleared her throat. “No, I’m sorry. The last thing that I remember is leaving here after saying goodbye to James.”
“It’s all right,” whispered Sona as she stroked Cordelia’s hair. “You’ve only just woken up. Perhaps after you’ve had something to eat and talked with Lucie, or James, something will return to you.”
The feeling of something she needed to do sparked at the mention of her old friend. She needed to talk to Lucie.
“Lucie stepped out for the morning,” said Tessa, eyeing Cordelia sympathetically, “but she’s due to return any moment. She’ll be overjoyed to know that you’re awake.”
“And James?” Sona asked.
“On patrol,” answered Will, with a gentle hand on his wife’s shoulder. “He won’t be back until this evening.”
Cordelia looked away, at her brother’s bandaged leg, at the tear in the hem of her nightgown, at the rune etched into the top of her bare foot, as the memories of her last conversation with James crashed into her.
“I wanted so badly to marry you,” she said. “But a year with you, as your wife, is not possibly long enough.”
The thought of speaking to James after their last conversation left a stone in Cordelia’s stomach, but perhaps it was for the best if she were to be staying in London while they both mended. If any one in the room knew of what transpired between James and Cordelia that last night, they weren’t letting on. Rubbing at the wound on her ribs, she searched the faces around her and found only concern and sympathy looking on at her. A wood pigeon, always the cello in the orchestra of birdsong, gave out its low double coo from the open window, like a beat from a large drum, which began to vibrate in her chest, and she thought it would have been very pleasant just to have remained asleep. 
(Author’s Notes: Hello again everyone! I’m back. I hope you all are doing well. It’s been truly a strange couple of weeks dealing with the aftermath of the death of my beautiful niece (God, that will never get easier to say or write), but we are mending as a family and working towards moving forward through the grief. I’ve been able to spend a lot of time with my sister and my nephew, just trying to keep them busy, but the past few weeks have settled down a little bit allowing me a chance to write and get back into a few projects that I have in the works. Thank you all for the kind words, and well-wishes, and your patience. I’m really excited to be back writing and posting again. I hope you enjoyed this installment. If you did please reblog so others can enjoy it too, please give it a like, hit me with a lovely comment, and follow along with me. Next installment is coming Sunday 9/6.)
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justshekthings · 3 years
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just for a moment - park jisung fanfic (part 1)
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“Continuing to run you turn around with a huge smile across your face, locking eyes with the boy whos awestruck expression turns into a comforting smile. Somehow without even knowing each other's names you both felt as if you've managed to escape reality, like the two of you were the only people in the universe, a feeling so rare, a scene only in movies, an occurrence never forgotten and yet was just experienced by these two individuals, even if it was just for a moment.”
Park jisung  x reader 
Word Count: 8731
Reading time: 1h 7m
Italics = thoughts
“normal” = spoken 
*IMPORTANT PLEASE READ*
Authors note: Since this a fanfic, therefore fiction, there story is set in your last year in highschool with the rest of the dream members who are all the same age. The school year will also be following the korean academic year system, just for some realism. I also made up a few characters with a korean name generator so please don’t overthink! I will also be releasing this story 4 chapters at a time with 3 parts in total, making a total of 12 chapters #quickmaths. Apologies in advance if my uploads are slow or my grammar is awful. Make sure to like and comment any suggestions or thoughts, but try to be kind, it’s my first time writing a fanfic. 
Enjoy reading~
March: March, although somewhat an afterthought or rather a shadow of winter, left with only it’s remains, it sets the groundwork for the rest of the year. March plants seeds that grow from mere sprouts to full grown plants during the course of the year. 
It’s early March, the month when the snow starts to thaw in preparation of the well anticipated season of spring. The feel of the winter air has managed to remain in Seoul, resented by the thousands of students forced to return back to school for the first semester. One of those poor unfortunate souls is you, y/n l/n, an 18 year old girl and you’ve come back to start and, hopefully, finish your senior year at Seoul Highschool. Although what does seem to make your experience there a little more bearable are your two friends Seo Kyung-Hu and Hu Mee-yon, while those two have been friends since primary school, you only met them in Middle school when you first transferred and they being the only nice enough kids willing to approach you, the three of you clicked instantly and ever since your trio have stayed a complete set.
Unlike your two friends, you could care less about school purposefully staying up late in hopes of sleeping through your alarm and having a valid excuse to miss the first day of school. And your plan worked… to some extent. Your mother on the other hand was keen to send you to the school you paid money for, as you should. You were fast asleep dreaming about exo performing as ot9 was suddenly awoken by the screaming of your mother. “YAH Y/N WAKE UP AND GET TO SCHOOL BEFORE I TAKE ALL YOUR EXO POSTERS AGAIN!” hearing that was enough to make you jump out of bed and start getting ready, not without a few complaints of course. Walking into your washroom you take one good look at your face in the morning, “oh god” you’re at least grateful your skin decided not to break out on the first day of school however your face was still puffed and quite dull. You continued washing your face, brushing your teeth and putting on that god awful, ugly, disgusting, and horrific uniform, as you described. Objectively your uniform wasn’t at all bad however you had the tendency to well… overthink. (the uniform looks like the A-teen beige uniform)
It being 8:35 and school starting at 8:45, you speed walked and slightly ran to school attempting to cut the initial 10 min walk in half with at least 5 mins to spare just in case. Fortunately enough you managed to get there on time to check what your classroom was, before the bell. Room 215? Ok… WHERE IS THAT AGAIN?! Somehow the break managed to erase most of your memory of the school, although there wasn’t much worth remembering about your most hated location on planet earth. You run around frantically desperately trying to find your homeroom before a teacher, or worse a hall monitor. You stop in the middle of an empty hallway to text your friends where the hell room 215 is, until you hear a unfamiliar voice reach out to you, “Are you lost babygirl” WHAT THEEE it took a second for you to process what the guy had said until out of instinct you start to laugh uncontrollably with your eyes starting to tear up. You turn around, hand holding your stomach, “What did you just say?” you ask, unable to take the male standing in front of you seriously. He stares at you, seeming to enjoy that you understood his reference, “What so you’re telling me you’re not totally turned on by that comment?” With a slight over exaggerated gasp at the end of his sentence, obviously showing that he was joking. “No no your question was valid just-” unable to finish your sentence you rerun the moment that had just unfolded through your head, succeeding in making you burst out in laughter again. His voice cuts through your laugh, “No but seriously you seem lost” finally regaining your composure, you take a minute to examine his appearance, and his attractiveness, and realizing you’ve been staring for a bit too long you panic quickly trying to cover it up, “YEAH UM i'm lost do you know where room 215 is?” “New student?” “no just dumb” He laughs at your honesty and points you in the right direction like a true gentleman. “Oh my god thanks so much, hope I see you again cute stranger!” you end your sentence with a wink and then run off after getting a glimpse of his dumbfounded expression although close enough to hear him yell out, “The name’s YangYang!” 
The odds were in your favour managing to slip into class before your teacher arrived and you had a mini-mental celebration before choosing to sit in the empty window seat in the middle row with an empty seat beside you to limit the amount of human interaction you get. Sitting down in your seat and see the teacher walk in and start the generic beginning of the school year talk, you text your friends to pass the time, who were lucky enough to have their class together, while the class goes through the course outline. After waiting a few minutes at the front, you see both of your friends, Kyung-hu and mee-yon or as you called them kyuhu and mimi to simplify their names, walk out and you guys greet each other before the three of you walk in the direction of your neighborhood, talking about what you all did during the break, all the annoying teachers and most recent gossip. 
You’d notice that the first week of school would follow this routine, passing by quite quickly and finding it uneventful as your teacher didn’t give a lot of homework as it was the first week of school. During the first week you concluded that there was no one in your classroom, or in the school for that matter that piqued your interest except for the fellow that helped you on the first day but has managed to slip your sight every time you scanned your surroundings to find him. Although just as fast as the first week passed by, the weekend went just as fast, and based on how your school operates, it’d be the only free weekend you’d have in a long time. And much to your dissatisfaction, you found herself in the same situation from a week ago, tired, lazy and lacking any motivation to go to school. Despite this you actually made an effort to wake up early, too early, to get ready for school to escape the never ending nagging from your mother over calls from the office over your tardy attendance. After eating a good enough breakfast, you open your door expecting a cold breeze to meet you as it did last week but to your surprise the outside was bright and dry, with no traces of snow, almost as if the weekend magically changed Seoul from winter to spring. However the leaves on the trees would need a lot more time than a weekend to grow back to their former glory. Remember when I mentioned you woke up too early, you were exactly two hours early when you arrived at the school, which suddenly made sense to you when you realized that no one in your house was awake yet and the roads in your neighborhood felt deserted. After walking around the campus you finally settle on a familiar tree on the outskirts of the school grounds, its location the very reason why you and your friends chose it as your casual lunch location for the past two years. You set your bag on your lap hugging it like a pillow laying your head on it for support and almost immediately you start drifting off the sleep. 
Unbeknownst to you, your perfect sleep would be ruined by one Park Jisung, you see park jisung made the mistake of waking up 20 mins before school started not taking into account it was his very first day at the highschool and he was bound to get lost on the way to school and if he even managed to find the school, he’d have no idea where his classroom as he also missed orientation for all new students. Late and lost, jisung looked around the front of the building in search of someone to help him but since school had already started most staff and students were already inside. Although it would’ve been easier for jisung to walk inside the building somehow he noticed a figure under a tree not too far from him, jisung assuming it was a student figured it’d be easier to ask a student then suffer a scolding or even awkward small talk with a teacher. He runs up to the sleeping person under the tree and realizes it’s a girl from the long hair and skirt, legs criss crossed under a bag you is hugging and sleeping on. Reluctant to grab your attention, awakening you from your slumber, but he must do so if he ever wishes to get to class. “Excuse me?” Jisung repeats this a few times first with a shy voice growing in volume in desperation to wake you up. In your dream EXO OT9 were just about to sing love shot, one of the comebacks lay missed out on, when you heard a reluctant voice repeatedly saying excuse me disrupting your peace and not to mention exo’s performance. Jisung seeing that his voice was not enough to wake you up he starts to get physical. You try to ignore the voice hoping it’d go away until it actually starts poking your shoulder, now you have no choice but to let go of your perfect dream and wake up to respond to the thing that dares interrupt your nap. Jisung notices the girl moving, satisfied that he finally woke you up, he watches as you yawn and rub your eyes, cute he thinks to himself admiring the girl’s sleepy and adorable state. You open your eyes to see a timid but tall boy crouched beside you, finger still pointed after persistently poking you. “Yes?” glaring at the poor boy with the rudest voice you could muster expecting him to get the hint to leave you alone. “U-um can u help me?” Looking at the nervous state of the boy you empathize with his confusion seeing as you were in a similar dilemma a week ago. Softening your expression you say, “yeah what's up?” using a tone completely opposite of the one a second ago, causing Jisung to relax and become more at ease after noticing your change in attitude, “oh can u tell me where this classroom is?” Jisung points at his paper, saying Room 215. He watches your face light up, “Oh! That's my classroom you can just follow me!” And you give the boy an eye smile, happy that you can help him and possibly become friends with the boy. Jisung’s ears turn pink admiring how cute your smile is and touched by your hospitality. you stand up dusting off your skirt and checking if you had any dirt on your clothes or legs. Putting your backpack on and adjusting the straps you ask the boy what time it was. “Oh it's 9:00 am” Jisung says to you sheepishly hoping he doesn’t shock you by how late they both are, “OH SHOOT'' After hearing the time realizing just how fucked you were, acting quick you grab the new boy’s hand and start running towards the building. Jisung trailing behind the small girl is blushing due to the sudden skin ship and can feel his heart pounding due to the spontaneousness of the girl's actions along with the running not at all helping with his heart rate. Running across the field underneath the sunlight causes an increase in heart rate, a mutual feeling felt by the two, but you both recognize it as a mere adrenaline rush as you both try to take in the predicament you find yourselves in. Jisung staring at the hand who had taken his own so boldly, looked up staring at your hair that had turned from a raven black shade to a chocolate brown in the sunlight admiring how it swayed while you ran. Continuing to run you turn around with a huge smile across your face locking eyes with the boy whos awestruck expression turns into a comforting smile. Somehow without even knowing each other's names you both felt as if you've managed to escape reality, like the two of you were the only people in the universe, a feeling so rare, a scene only in movies, an occurrence never forgotten and yet was just experienced by these two individuals, even if it was just for a moment. 
April: April bears us spring, which in turn prepares us for summer. The weather is unlike any other, it follows the frigid temperatures of winter and yet precedes the intense heat of summer, the month is in equilibrium. 
You watch from the safety of the other side of the field as Jisung is teased yet again by his new found friend group. As cliche as it sounds he managed to land himself with the “popular kids'' group despite this school not caring much for social norms, even if there was a popular group it’d be them and they’ve accepted him wholeheartedly as if he spent the last two years with them. Much to everyone’s surprise Jisung was capable of fitting in despite him being the new kid and it being the last year, it was almost as if he was the missing part of their friend group. The group consisted of Chenle, Renjun, Jeno, Jaemin, Haechan and Mark and they weren’t just popular, they were rich and attractive as well. “Oh how he’s blossomed” you say to yourself while admiring Jisung for coming out of his shell and express himself freely “Oh god please don’t tell me you just said that” “You sound like a pedo” As if on cue your two friends arrive at your spot under the tree, slightly creeped out by your confession. “YA I didn’t mean it like that!” you say pouting at your friends' judgmental remarks. “It’s just that he’s grown so much and it’s only been a month'' taking one last glimpse at Jisung having fun before turning to your best friends who have already started to eat. “Jisung was an innocent shy boy when you met him, your maternal instincts kicked in when you first saw him, so helped him out and get comfortable at the school and now you feel like you’ve raised him but now that he’s found a proper friend group you’re sad blah blah blah yes we get it.” Shocked and speechless at what Mee-yon just said, you shake your head looking down before resting your head on your arms placed on your knees while meeting their gaze, “Did I really sound like a pedo?” this time Kyung-Hu was the one to reply “yes you definitely did” nodding innocently while getting it to you straight. And with that final blow you hide your head in your crossed arms similar to a fetal position, accepting your defeat at their teasing. 
As you hear your friends move on to a new topic you just keep your head down too tired to raise it and decide to take a mini nap to hopefully make up for the 3 hours of sleep you got the night before. It wasn’t like you and jisung falling off bothered you that much you actually rarely thought about it, but for some reason today you were bothered. I guess we were never really friends. I guess more like friendly acquaintances? What about the time we hung out after school or skipped class together, did that mean anything? You sighed letting go of the memories of jisung and started falling asleep unaware of the glances from the same person you were just thinking about. You dreamed about the day you two met, after getting too tired to run the whole way there, since the two of you were already late you decided to just walk the rest of the way to your classroom while in the school, to give Jisung a mini school tour. “You just transferred here right?” “yeah I used to live in Inseon” “so why’d you decide to move here and transfer just a week after school started?” “My mom got an unexpected promotion she couldn’t refuse so we had to move to Seoul, but you sure ask a lot of questions'' you remember him teasing you for that “Well do you blame me? I’m curious.” You catch him off guard by your retaliation, “so do you miss it?” asking another unexpected question that causes a change in mood after bringing up his old home. “Of course I do, I grew up there, I had friends there and I had memories” you turned around noticing his melancholy expression while reminiscing and looked at him with concern, feeling sorry for the boy who was just staring at the ceiling almost as if he was trying to find something that was not even there. He notices the silence and makes eye contact with you realizing he must’ve worried you. “Oh but it’s better this way!” He says happily to ease your obvious concern and you stare at the nervous boy, eyebrow raised not convinced by his sudden change of heart. You let it go and the two of you walked a little bit more in silence before stopping, well at least you stopped, Jisung was absent minded enough to not realize you had stopped walking and bumped into back, you instantly looked up and stared at the boy directly over you. Jisung as the shy boy he was, panics and steps back slightly red which causes you to chuckle at his innocent behaviour. “Well here we are room 215” but before jisung was able to walk into the classroom, you turn around and stop him holding out your palm showing the universal symbol to stop, before extending it as a handshake. “Before you hear it from anyone else, I'm y/n” while grinning from ear to ear and jisung grasps your hand and gives you a light handshake, “hi i’m park jisung” returning you the same enthusiasm through a smile. After holding each others hands a little longer than expected, you let go awkwardly and enter the rowdy classroom filled with talking, laughter and pure ruckus. 
You didn't know one was capable of dreaming of a memory but you just did, and just as it was before, your nap was interrupted by noise, this time in the form of whispers, many whispers. You lift your head using your right hand to rub your eyes to adjust to the light and you meet eyes with the very boy you were dreaming about. “Jisung?” you ask with open eyes, confused and surprised. “O-oh hi y/n we meet here again” he answers, scratching the nape of his neck sheepishly. His friends beside him, snicker at his awkward response and continue laughing amongst each other mocking him, jisung notices this and pretends he’s about to hit them so they’d stop making you feel uncomfortable. He looks back at you even more embarrassed to explain his presence in front of you, “so-” “Why are you here, and where's kyung-hu and mee-yon” You notice that your two friends are nowhere to be found and you become more and more anxious being alone with practical strangers. “Funny you should mention that, they actually-” “We went to get some snacks!” Although kinda mad at them for leaving you alone, at least they showed up before this conversation could get any more awkward than it already was. Jisung feels quite relieved sparing him from the awkward exchange however his friends can’t get enough of his uncomfortableness bursting out in laughter when he was interrupted, not once but two times. Jisung and his friends move themselves to the tree beside you guys resting under the shade after mee-yoon and kyung-hu return back to their seats. After waiting until they were at a comfortable distance you start yell/whispering at your friends, “WHat the fuck guys you dont leave me alone with strangers!” “Oh don’t worry at least you finally talked to him instead of staring at him all day. Plus we needed to get enough snacks for all of us and we all know one person can’t carry all of that food. So please consider this strawberry milk as an apology.” Kyung-hu offers you the drink with Mee-yoon nodding her head in agreement. “Ugh I guess this was worth that horrible experience”  you take your favourite drink after barely eating anything due to your lack of appetite. 
The bell goes off and everyone starts to leave the field and head under the main building including you and your friends and since those two had a class together you took a different hallway hearing footsteps behind you before realizing the only person that could’ve been behind you was someone in your class, god please kill me now. And before the awkwardness kills you, you turn around and break the silence “hey thanks for watching me while I slept I understand my friends prolly asked you to do it as a favour and I really appreciate it” Jisung looks up after staring at his feet initially scared to stare in your direction. “No problem, i'm sorry that woke you up from your nap under that tree, it feels almost like deja vu” Both of you shyly laugh at his reference to your first encounter reminiscing the past memory. “Tell me park jisung why is it always you that must ruin my napping time? What have I done to deserve such cruelty.” Your exaggeration and choice of words managed to put a smile on his face and even a chuckle out of him. “Hey that's not my fault you’re obsessed with sleeping under that tree.” “But it’d be a waste not to, the weather this time of the year is just right, you can feel the heat but it's not overbearing it comforts you, it doesn’t require you to add layers nor remove any. We don’t need to change, not one bit. I can’t afford to take these moments for granted.” Jisung stares at your back taken aback by your sudden seriousness, not to mention the topic being the mere weather. Coincidentally the roles were now reversed, it was now Jisung that was perplexed by the change of mood similar to how you were a month ago. Although he could tell your words held more depth than they let on and decided not to speak on the matter moving on with the conversation. “But seriously no need to thank me after all I do kinda owe you for helping me out, plus you’re my friend, actually my first friend at this school” flashing you a smile which eases the awkwardness of your conversation. “Friend?” you widen your eyes at the title, unaware he saw you like that considering the limited time the two of you spent together. “Yeah that's what you call people you care about right?” your eyes follow his figure with a speechless expression on your face as he passes by you and walks ahead to go back to class, but just before he walks in he steps back to look back at you, “are you coming, friend?” before winking at you, emasked in the sunlight coming from the classroom, changing his eyes a lighter shade, before completely walking into the classroom. He leaves you baffled and blushing at his new found confidence and you are still processing what just happened, did he just wink at me? You shake your head trying to forget his words in hopes of calming your heart rate and enter your classroom sitting in your seat, on the other side of the class. Despite how much you try to hide your embarrassment, you just couldn’t hide how pink your ears were, same as jisung who might have put on a brave front, is slightly regretting and yet at the same time, proud of what he said. Both of you refusing to look anywhere else but down and especially not at each other, lost in your own thoughts but if the both of you had just looked at eachother even if it was just for a moment, you both would’ve found out something crucial about each other. 
May: May does not only serve as the last stretch of spring but as a period of freedom. It enables the ability to be free enough to have dreams and independent enough to act on them. 
Unlike the last two months you and jisung actually managed to talk more, although more doesn’t necessarily mean a lot but considering you and him have only shared a few meaningful conversations over the span of two months, your current relationship was a huge upgrade. Disregarding the occasional partner project or pairing in physical ed, in which you and jisung had always chosen each other considering both of your friends were in different classes, you’ve developed somewhat of a casual and low maintenance friendship, that didn’t need frequent conversations but had few but worthwhile moments, all of which were cherished by the both of you, as they reassembled the same serenity the two of you shared the first day you met each other. The moments you shared rarely felt forced and if they were, due to the immature pressures of both of your friend groups, the two of you had no trouble slipping into your own world. As naive as it sounds the friendship the two of you shared was purely platonic, no doubt there were moments of butterflies and heart racing however it only lasted just for a moment, quickly fading away. However someone you were interested in was the guy that helped you on your first day, although all that you knew about him was his name, yangyang. 
You and your two friends approach the stands taking your seats to watch the soccer game hosted by your school after getting invited to sit beside jisung and a few of his friends to cheer on Jaemin, playing as a forward and Jeno, the goalie. As you look forward at the field and someone wearing the number 24 caught your eye. You found the haircut and build of number 24 familiar. You struggled trying to figure out just where you saw someone with similar features as 24, but it was only until he finally turned in your direction, getting a good look at his face. “That's him!” you accidentally stood up, hands covering your open mouth and jisung who was having a conversation with his best friend chenle, turned around to look at your stunned expression. “Hm? What happened?” You looked around embarrassed by drawing attention to yourself and sat back down awkwardly, leaning towards jisung who sat in the row in front of you to whisper, “do you know who number 24 is?” “Yeah that’s yangyang but what about him?” “Yeah I KNOW what his name is, but like who is he?” “I hope you realize how stupid you sound, but why are you asking me, I’M the new kid remember? Not the person who has been attending this school for the past two years.” Jisung raises his eyebrow to you confused as to why you don’t know who this guy was, expecting the both of you to have already met at least once. “So what you’re basically saying is that you got nothing?” “No I never said that, for your information yangyang is our age but he only transferred here last year from Germany. I guess he keeps himself lowkey, soccer is really his only extracurricular.” “bruh you should’ve just led with that, not with any of this new kid bs” “I think you meant to say thank you” Jisung gives you a deadpan look disappointed by your ungratefulness, you catch a glimpse of his face and laugh at how annoyed he is. Hoping not to make your friend upset, you lean in and stick out your tongue playfully in a teasing manner before flashing him your signature smile, “Thank you Jwi~”. Taken aback by his nickname (jwi means mouse in korean) along with the hint of aegyo in your voice, blood rises to his cheeks and to his ears but before you properly see it, he covers his face with his hands while looking down although his ears, like always, were giving him away. 
But before you could tease him the announcer's voice filled the outdoor stadium, “Ladies and gentlemen the game between Seoul Highschool and Apgujeong Highschool is about to commence!” Suddenly you hear everyone in the stands start screaming yelling to the top of their lungs. “We will first introduce the starting lineup of the home team, starting with co-captains Na Jaemin and Lee Jeno!” You, jisung and both of your friends stand up and start cheering on the duo running onto the field, as you have become quite friendly with jisung and his friends so it was only fitting for you to support them. After their introduction you paid no attention to the remainder of the names until, “Now introducing number 24 yangyang!” Your head that was previously resting on your palm was raised after hearing that familiar name and you lean in trying to get a closer look at him before going beside jisungs ear. “Ya” Jisung, scared by the sudden noise, flinches back leaning on to chenle, who was too distracted talking to Renjun to notice his best friend but jisungs reaction does cause you to grin. Pointing at the smiling boy on the field, you say “Do you know what class he’s in?” “Oh him?” He takes a double check looking you up and down weirded out by your enthusiasm and interest in the soccer player. “Yes we were literally talking about him like 10 seconds ago” you rolling your eyes at his forgetfulness, you find it hard to believe he could be this oblivious knowing he was acting like this to tease you. “Yeah I know what class he’s in” you glare at the boy already knowing you’d have to do the most for him to finally spill the tea. “Uh would you like to tell meee?” you, not caring if you seemed desperate. “Lemme think, hmmm yeah no i'm good” “YAH PARK JISUNG'' you see his amused expression before coughing to regain your composure and trying another strategy “Can u please tell me~” you try to act as soft and cute as possible and although aegyo tears away at your soul, you know jisung couldn’t bare the sight of it. “STOP OH GOD” He tries to cover your face so he wouldn’t need to watch your aegyo any longer but you being determined, keep dodging him so he could see every cute action you’d do. “Please jisung~” “OKOK FINE JUST PLEASE STOP!” You quickly change your expression to a serious one which slightly scares jisung “so tell me what his classroom is” you say in a threatening tone while stabbing his ribs with your fingers causing him to flinch away, he sighs and slouches showing his surrender, caving into your antics, “fine it’s room 105” “Thank you! See that wasn’t so hard now was it?” You happily smile at him but you can see he obviously didn’t reciprocate the same feelings of joy and instead glaring at you. “Easy for you to say I have to bleach my eyes and tend to my wounds” Jisung cries out while holding the ribs you just stabbed, you roll your eyes yet again and scoff at his over exaggeration. “You’re such a kid.” “I'm legit older than you soo you’re the child here” him feeling proud at his comeback, looks up to catch your reaction but you’re pouting, hand crossed over your chest upset by the undeniable fact, which he finds kind of adorable. “Anyways why are you so interested in this guy anyways? Do you like him or something” jisung asks with his eyebrow raised while poking your leg suggesting that you do hold feelings for the boy, you feel your face become slightly hot by his suggestion. You swat his hand away and say, “N-no, the answer is no. How can I even like him, I hardly know anything about him. I’m just...” “you're just?” you start glaring him for interrupting your sentence and for teasing you. “I’m just interested” you finally end your sentence returning a playful wink to jisung just as he did a month ago. “Uh huh” Jisung says with a suspicious tone before turning around showing his back to you and properly watching his friends play in their first game of the season. Not satisfied with his answer you decide to talk a bit more, “what, can’t a girl be interested in a guy? I can’t just sit around dreaming about the day he approaches me, when I want something, whatever that may be, I go get it! Plus don’t you have anyone you’re interested in?” Still refusing to turn to you, you assumed he was just ignoring you, not paying attention to your question but jisung’s act backfired when you noticed his ears turn pink after hearing what you asked. “Heoll~, our jisungie has a crush?” (heol is korean slang for omg) you start shaking his shoulders out of excitement of this discovery. Still not looking at you, jisung puts his head in his hands to hide his embarrassment, amused by his timidness, you try to make him turn to you but he won't budging, unable to look at you to spare himself further embarrassment. In truth jisung didn’t have anyone he was interested in, so he was confusing himself but it was probably the question itself and the possibility of him having a crush that made him embarrassed, or at least that’s what he told himself.  “Yaaaaa jisunggg tell me~” You say in a teasing voice but realizing your strategy wasn’t gonna make him turn your way, you smirk hoping that if anything were to get him to turn around it’d be this. So you start tickling him hoping he was even ticklish which fortunately he was, severely ticklish at that too. He starts to spasm due to the tickling laughing uncontrollably using his hands to block your hands and move away from your grasp. “YA STO-” turning around to yell at you, unaware at how close you got when trying to tickle him, he stops mid sentence finally realizing the lack of distance between the two of you. He takes a small gasp interrupting what he was going to say, speechless by the sudden eye contact, but it’s too late your eyes were already locked. “Ah there you are~” you say that in such a gentle tone that it was more of a whisper, inaudible to anyone besides you and jisung. Once again you guys find each other in the sunlight, which lights up both of your eyes making them seem as clear as honey, unaware of everyone standing up, cheering as yangyang just scored a goal. Both of you too lost in each other's eyes to notice anything else besides the smallest details in each other's iris’. However the gaze is suddenly broken when you look around and realize the cause of celebration, clueless to jisung's lingering gaze. “Oh my god look yangyang just scored a goal!” You tell the boy in front of you eyes glimmering with admiration, much to jisung's displeasure. Jisung was slightly upset at the soccer player who was the reason for breaking your eye contact, along with the fond expression brought to your face when looking at yangyang rather than himself. And although jisung might never admit it, deep down he’d wish for you to look at him like that even if it was just for a moment.
June: After months in the cold waiting for the arrival of summer, at last June has arrived. The month does not only represent a drastic change in temperature but in emotions as well, this month is when mere feelings can finally develop, for better or for worse. 
“I like you” the words you hear coming out of your newest friend, whom you’ve become quite close to and bonded with over the past month. “Yangyang I-” “it’s okay you don’t have to answer, I just wanted to tell you” The boy says before winking and smiling at you with confidence. In the distance you could hear his friend Hendrey call out to him in a distance and you see him turn around to wave at his friend and turn back around, “anyways y/n I kind of need to go now, my friend is calling me” He says scratching the back of his neck, reminding you of another male friend of yours, using his thumb to point back to hendrey. He runs off to his friend, not forgetting to turn around, giving a cute wave before Hendrey wraps his arm around his shoulders walking off to who knows where. Now you’re left alone dumbfounded, behind the school building with a stunned expression, while physically you look as if your mind is blank your thoughts were far from that of panicking at your friends sudden confession. In retrospect you were kind of expecting this to happen as at some point considering your relationship was never just friends, you yourself started talking to him with slight romantic interests involved. Although it was, at least for you, a bit too soon. Still baffled by recent events you failed to notice the running footsteps of two boys come from behind you. “YA CHENLE GIVE THAT BACK!” You remain stuck in your headspace as both boys suddenly stop when they notice your strange figure and start whispering to themselves. “Yah isn't that y/n?” Chenle says to the jisung who steps closer to get a better look at you standing alone, he turns back to his friend “Uh yeah I think so?” There’s a second of silence as the boys try to figure out the odd circumstance, before Chenle says, “oh well HAVE FUN!” sticking out his tongue and running away while laughing uncontrollably hoping jisung doesn’t try to go after him after successfully figuring out his password and stealing his phone. “YA” jisung lets out a heavy sigh giving up trying to get his phone back and turning towards the dazed girl, shaking your shoulder a bit to get you out of your trance “Y/n?” “H-huh? Jisung? W-what're you doing here?” “I should ask you the same thing, I mean you're all alone out here” “Oh I was? I guess I didn't notice.” You shake your head trying to forget yangyang’s confession and bring yourself back to reality not noticing jisung turning his head to the side to hide the slight blush after seeing you in a confused state. Confused as to why he had suddenly spaced out looking in another direction, “Jisung?” You ask him while tilting your head cutely, an action jisung was still able to see in his peripheral vision which made him want to keep his head turned away even more. It was now you trying to get his attention so you smile realizing the irony of the situation,”Y-yeah?” “You wanna go to class now?” You say smiling before walking ahead of him with a slight skip in your step. “Yeah sure” you hear him say awkwardly following you to class. The two of you walked in silence from that moment on side by side, you taking a few glances to check up on him as he did with you and whenever you two did make eye contact you both gave each other a smile that although a bit awkward, was comforting in some way. 
It was almost a week after yangyangs confession and since then you’ve fortunately managed to avoid him, still confused with what your answer, but it wasn’t whether or not you had feelings for him or not because you knew the boy could make you laugh, smile and give you butterflies at soon as you laid eyes on him, but you felt as if it was rushed. You considered it as only a crush than deep feelings for a committed relationship, simply put it was too early. And yet you knew you’d regret rejecting him because you didn’t want your relationship to end, rejecting him would risk losing, what would've been a perfect relationship due to your own indecisiveness. Ugh I hate feelings, you trying to decide your answer, was exactly what caused you to get lost during your late night walk you took to clear your head. Realizing that you’d been spacing out, you take a look at your surroundings and you had absolutely no idea where you were. “Oh shit” although what you could recognize is a neon sign at the end of the street that spelled out Convenience Store with a couple tables and seats at the front for eating. Feeling your stomach give a loud growl, you unlock your phone just to check if you have time to spare to eat some ramen, before your mom yells at you for staying out too late, 9:00 only? “OK! Lets go!” you celebrate to yourself, pumping a fist in the air before skipping towards the store and greeting the cashier. While you run your finger through the shelfs scanning the inventory trying to find your favourite ramen, “cheese ramen, cheese ramen, cheese ramen” All of a sudden you hear the door of the store open due the iconic bell and you hear a voice, a male voice greet the cashier as well, “Good evening~” FUCK! You instantly recognize the voice cursing inwardly at the chances you’d bump into him at a convenience store of all places. You immediately move to the next aisle, away from the entrance praying that he wouldn’t see you hiding behind the end of the aisle. “This literally cannot be happening to me” “What can’t be happening to you?” you let out a shriek, jumping back startled to hear ANOTHER voice. Please don't be him, please don't be him, you open your eyes that were shut due to fright, to look up at the stranger that just scared you “J-jisung?” “Yeah who else?” You wonder why you didn’t recognize his voice initially but you see his confident grin while looking at your distressed state, it somehow pleased him to see you like this. “So you gonna answer my question or are you gonna keep on staring at me?” Realizing you must look completely crazy, you fix your posture to look at jisung straight in the eye, “none of your business.” And you walk away from the boy taking your former spot using the aisle to block anyone’s view of you. You occasionally peek your head out just to check on the whereabouts of the mystery boy and jisung takes notes of this, standing behind you, hovering like the giant he is. He chuckles at your childishness, “who are you hiding from?” He asks out loud not caring if anyone heard him, you panic quickly putting your hand over his mouth to shut him up. “Jheez can u be any louder? Plus did I not make it clear, none. of. your. business.” Jisung pouts at you before licking the inside of your hand causing you to let go of him and give him a look of a disgust while you try to wipe his saliva off your hand with your sweater, but all he does is flash you a playful smile satisfied with your reaction. You roll your eyes at jisungs shenanigans and turn around to continue your spying seeing that the boy stayed by the cashier examining the gums and candies. Jisung follows your gaze tryna figure out just who you’re so afraid of before realizing who it was and his smile then turned into a thin line. “Him?” “Ya what do you mean him? That's yangyang!” You hit jisung offended by his reaction to your crush. Jisung flinches pretending that your hit actually hurt, “yeah did I stutter?” you ignore what jisung just said, too focused on predicting the movements of yangyang, maybe focusing too hard that just when you thought he was going to leave without noticing you, you two accidentally make eye contact and you quickly hide behind the aisle hoping he didn't see you. With your chest going up and down, you struggle to control your heart rate placing your hand on your chest to hopefully help lower it down. Jisung widens his eyes seeing you so flustered, “why what happened?” he looks at you, concerned thinking you’re having a heart attack. “He saw me” you slide down now sitting on the floor with your legs folded in front of you while you hide your face in your hands breathing into them, trying to calm yourself down. “What am I gonna do, what am I gonna do” you continually repeat those words slightly scaring jisung in the process, although after seeing you in this condition he realized he needed to help in some way. “Okok just stay here” patting your head before walking off leaving you to curl up on your own. Jisung walks down the aisle that yangyang just saw you in, already meeting face to face with the boy that had walked in your direction trying to check if it was really you or a hallucination. He stops when he sees jisung, taking a step back confused as to why he’d see him there of all places, “Jisun-” “Oh hey Yangyang funny seeing you here, isn’t it a bit late tho? Based on what jeno and jaemin were talking about I swear you guys have soccer practice in the morning tomorrow at 6, no?” Jisung interrupted yangyang, rambling on about a made up soccer practice, jisung thought of on the spot, while putting his arm around the clueless boy's shoulders pushing him until they made it out of the store and before yangyang could process what was happening. “O-oh they never told me we had practice” “oh well good thing you heard it from me, tho you might wanna double check just in case, ok?” “y-yeah ok, but wait-'' but before jisung could hear his question concerning you, and then be forced to answer it he turned around and walked away allowing the convenience store door to shut thus ending their interaction, leaving yangyang completely dumbfounded as to how he ended up outside of the store instead of inside looking for you. Jisung gives a sigh of relief upon returning to the scared figure on the ground in front of him, “It’s okay now” you hear those comforting words escape his mouth and you lift up your head to look up at him, “is he gone now?” Suddenly, jisung feels heat rise to his cheeks when looking down at your curled up body, resembling a scared child and somehow your question triggered a protective instinct in jisung, who felt the need to protect you from all the things wrong in the world well at least all the things that you couldn’t protect your own self from. Finally calming down after your nervous breakdown you stand up wiping away the dust on your clothes before turning to jisung with a smile on your face, “Now let's go eat some ramen!” 
Both of you walk out of the convenience store after finding your cheese ramen and his spicy one, cooking it using the hot water at the store. You both sit down on one of the tables in front of the store met with a cool breeze that cooled the two of you down a bit from the summer heat. After taking a few bites and many loud slurps from the ramen, the two of you take your time to chew creating a moment of silence so jisung turns to you, “so you wanna tell me what happened in there?” You feel obligated to give him an explanation especially after how he helped you out, swallowing your food you lay your chopsticks down and explain to him the situation of yangyang confessing to you and you being nervous and confused. “Heol, yangyang actually likes you? Whaa” You throw a piece of your trash at him offended by his question, “Ya what do you mean actually liked me, what is their not to like” you say while flipping your hair back confidently, “Mhm you keep telling yourself that” his comeback slightly surprising you but you stop there not trying to take anymore insulting comments. “Ok but I was really nervous back there, if I wasn't so antisocial or if I actually understood my feelings then maybe yangyang and I would’ve already been dating and doing whatever couples do.” Thinking about the possibilities you pout and shove a bunch of noodles in your mouth to chew angrily, showing just how stressed out you were. Jisung lets out a laugh which earns a glare from you after being charmed by your inexperience and instead of making fun of your fantasies with yangyang, he empathizes with your situation thinking of a mature answer to help you out. “Do you seriously think anyone understands themselves? Because they don’t. People may put on a convincing facade but trust me when I tell you everyone is just as confused as you are. We’re teenagers for god sakes, we’re supposed to be going through this. You may not know what you want now, but in the future you will and how are you ever gonna figure it out unless you try? I have no idea what you’re feeling right now but I do know it’d be a waste to push those feelings aside because you’re scared. You’re the only thing stopping yourself and for whatever the reason is to why you're scared, whether that be getting hurt or getting embarrassed, just know it's natural and what’s meant to happen will happen but only if you allow it to.” In awe of jisungs words and yet curious as to how he developed all that wisdom. You stare at him, trying to read his face trying to understand what he was thinking. Instead you notice the soft glow of the neon sign on his features, his hair and face slightly lit up. You soften your expression while examining the details of the boy in front of you, who’s sitting with a slight slouch while spacing out, looking down at his ramen that makes you giggle inwardly because it looks like he’s glaring at his own food. You notice just how innocent and vulnerable he looks, and yet on the contrary you are unable to understand his thoughts now matter how you try. You find yourself spotting traits about jisung that you never realized before, like the glimmer in his eye or the sound of his sniffle while eating hot noodles, or how his cheeks puff out in the slightest and his hands inter cross when trying to focus. Even if he was sitting right across from her, he felt beyond reach and in the perspective you found jisung in, he was what they call picture perfect. If only I could just read his mind, even if it was just for a moment. However you stop yourself from staring at your friend for any longer and look down to take in his words, the same words that caught you off guard. You take a minute to absorb jisungs advice and just as quickly as yangyang said those three words to you, three words of the same nature slip out of your mouth, delivering the long awaited answer you were trying so hard to figure out, “I like yangyang.”
If you were able to read this far, I love you~
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bqstqnbruin · 4 years
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Three times he said it as a friend and once as something more
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Hello, hello. I’m still working on the Nick Robertson request but wow I don’t want you to hate me for it because it is actual trash right now and I’m sorry. But I’m also working on B&W part 3, so there’s that!
This was requested from that fluffs prompt list, which I think I’m done with now because honestly, it’s so far deep at this point, and I’m so lazy.
I hope you like it!
46. Why should we date?
47. Because we’re attracted to each other
48. I’m attracted to pie, but I do not feel the need to date pie.
__________________________
one
“Next time I see you, I really do expect you to be a professional athlete,” you tell Charlie, the two of you laying on a blanket in his backyard, enjoying the last few hours of sunlight on his last night in town. The next morning, he would be leaving to go to BU to play hockey. It wasn’t even that far, but him not living at home, and you going to school in Vermont meant him no longer driving you to school each morning, you no longer going over with dinner your mom made when she knew he and his parents were running around because of his games, no more walking next door whenever you needed to talk to instead of calling him. The memories would last forever, but those moments were now just part of the past.
“Are you not gonna come see me play at BU at all? What about when we play UVM?” he says, turning his head to look you.
Turning to him, you roll your eyes, “Ok, fine. Then I expect you to be a professional athlete in the next three years.” 
“Whatever,” he says, laughing. 
You sit there in silence, taking in what is probably one of the last moments for a while that you two will be able to spend a lot of time together. 
“Remember how we became friends?” he asks, sitting up. 
You follow suit, laughing at the memory that he just triggered. You were neighbors since your family moved to Weymouth, but you weren’t automatically friends because of it. “Well, duh. We sat across from each other in Family Consumer Science. We, of course, always finished the work early because we’re great, and we played pencil hockey for like thirty minutes before Mrs. Grace yelled at us for distracting the other two at our table.”
“The fact that you ever finished your work fast in that class is still amazing. You get distracted by everything and can’t focus on anything.”
“Yeah, well,” you shrug it off. You sit there thinking of all the other good memories you had with him; sitting across from each other in US history and joking about all the mistakes you made while texting, the nights when you would walk around Boston Common once your parents trusted you out on your own, the last minute Bruins tickets he would get and force you to go along with him to the games.
“Did you ever think about what our lives would have been like if we dated?”
“What?” you ask, shocked. There was no way the two of you would ever date. He was destined to be a professional hockey player, traveling the US and Canada with whatever NHL team wanted him. You could never date someone that wasn’t going to be there when you needed them. And you couldn’t ask him to give up your dream for you. Yes, you were overthinking this, but best case scenario is that you had dated throughout high school and ended things tonight.
“Most people thought we were dating, anyway. What if we actually had?”
“Then we probably would have broken up tonight because long distance relationships from high school never work. Look at Andrea and Eric from last year, she went to Holy Cross and he only went to UConn and they could never make it work so they broke up. Or Josh and Maggie two years ago; he went to Ohio and ended up transferring to UMass so he could be with her and he loved Ohio State.”
“Too bad we never even gave it a chance.”
You look at him, shocked. “Did you want to?”
His only response was shrugging, a smile on his face as he lays back down on the blanket. You stay sitting up, thinking about what he just said. Did he want to date you all this time and never said anything until now? And why the hell would he do something like that anyway? You weren’t going to see him until at least Thanksgiving, which means that now you have to hyper fixate on this one memory until you see him again. 
“Hey,” he says, snapping you out of it.
“Yeah?”
  “I love you.”
“I love you, too.” 
two
Your phone lights up, causing you to tear your eyes away from the essay you had been writing that’s due in a few hours. Due to your great talent for procrastinating, you were, of course, finishing the paper at the last minute. The picture of you two in the Coyle’s front yard on your first day of school in six grade shows up on your screen, meaning Charlie was calling you. It had been forever since the two of you last talked; with you being in school and him trying to make it as a hockey player in Minnesota, your schedules never gave you a free moment to talk for more than a passing moment. 
“Hey, stranger,” you say, not hiding the smile on your face even though you were out in public. You hated showing any sort of emotion that would provoke someone to come up to you and start talking to you, but seeing Charlie’s name come up on your phone with something other than a text automatically made you smile. 
“Stranger? You know who I am.” You could tell by his voice that he was jokingly acting offended. 
“Yeah, you’re Zach Parise, right?” you tease.
You hear the laugh you miss so much on the other end, “How have you been?”
“Uh, stressed, lately, so nothing new.”
“Why?”
“Homework, papers, and exams.”
“Oh, my.” You both start laughing at the accidental joke he made, “Why so much stuff?”
“It’s midterms, babe.” 
“So I assume that you’re working right now?”
“Yep, it’s eight pm, the paper is due at midnight and I still have four more pages to write.”
` “I’m so glad that your work ethic hasn’t changed since high school.”
“Ok, rude! I have good work ethic, I just also have strong procrastination skills.”
“You probably have ADHD,” he says.
“Well, yes, but that’s a different story.”
“What’s your weekend look like? I want to catch up when you don’t have a lot of work to do.”
“Uh, I should be good.”
“Alright, get back to the paper.”
“I will. Love ya.”
“Love you, too.” 
three
“Oh, come on! We practically live together. You can’t deny that something is going on between us!” Charlie argues, pacing around the kitchen as you make dinner. This conversation between the two of you was becoming a weekly one, slowly getting on your nerves to the point where you would consider moving just to get away from it. 
“Because what happens if we break up? We’ve been friends since we were in middle school. Do you really want to throw all that away?” you say, turning to him, putting your hand on your hip. 
“I just think we should go out as more than friends just once.”
“And how would that be different than all the other times that we go out together?”
“Because then I could do things like hold your hand and flirt with you?”
“I’m like ninety percent sure you already flirt with me.” 
“Y/N.”
“Why should we date, Charlie?”
“Because we’re attracted to each other?”
“And I’m attracted to pie, but I do not feel the need to date pie,” you roll your eyes, turning your attention back to the stove. 
“You’re seriously equating me to pie right now? I have never seen you eat pie, therefore, that argument is invalid.”
“Since when do you say things like therefore, and invalid?” 
“Seriously, Y/N. You know I have wanted to date you since we were in middle school, but something always came up. You know I love you. You know I always have.”
You turn back to him, trying to make eye contact, but something in you just can’t. Your timing was never right. Once you were old enough to date, the two of you were never single at the same time. Actually, that isn’t true. You were both single for a brief period of time while he was playing with the Sea Dogs and you were still at UVM. This was the first time that both of you were single and in the same town. 
“Charlie, you know that I love you, too. But this can not happen. We can’t risk breaking up and ruining what we have.” 
He exhales, obviously disappointed. You were, too, but you couldn’t let that show. You wanted nothing more than to be with him, but you couldn’t let all those years of friendship go away if things didn’t work out between the two of you. “Fine.”
once
“Remember when you wouldn’t date me?” he asks over the sound of everyone around you.
“Remember when you were less annoying?” you roll your eyes. You look around to see so many other couples and families filling in the tables around you. Everyone looked so happy, just like you were. 
You and Charlie had been together now for a year, him finally wearing you down and convincing you to let him take you on a date. He promised you that even if you stopped dating, your friendship would never end because, at this point, you were in too deep anyway. He told you he had this whole evening planned for your anniversary, complete with a walk around the Boston Common like you used to do when you were kids, dinner at Terramia, your favorite restaurant, and for dessert, he was taking you to Mike’s Pastries for the cannoli you loved so much. 
“No, never,” he smirks, reaching out across the table to take your hand.
You had to admit, all the things he had said trying to convince you to date him were right; nothing was really that different between the two of you besides the intimacy that wasn’t there before. “You’re never letting me live that down, are you?”
“No.” 
You roll your eyes at him. You didn’t want to inflate the ego of the man who didn’t even know how to use the oven by telling him he was right that you two dating was fine. 
“Hey,” he says, like that last night before he went off to college.
“Yeah?”
“I love you.”
You smile, thinking back to all those times you told each other those three words, them meaning something completely platonic. “I love you, too.” 
89 notes · View notes
jungnoir · 6 years
Note
May I please request college boyfriend!yuta in bullet point form? Please please please ❤️❤️❤️ I’ve been waiting so long for your requests to be reopened, I love your work!
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a/n: thank you for being patient!! i hope you like this~
name: nakamoto yuta
age: immortal
major: bullshit undecided
if anyone were to try and define yuta,,, there would be a series of words that would be used,,, all of which may or may not be appropriate for ages 13 and under
yuta came to seoul from japan when he was just graduating high school on a scholarship for soccer
there were tons of schools that he really would have liked to go to all over the world, from places like New York to places in Brazil and Germany
and these schools all around the world really wanted him
he was, after all, a star on the rise
so you can see why his family was so confused when he chose to take a scholarship a little nearer to home, right in south korea
at the time, all he’d said was that seoul was somewhere he always wanted to live
which of course his family called bs on lol
yuta; what do you mean i’ve never talked about going to seoul before!! it’s my favorite place in the world!! great city!!! 10/10 would live there
literally everyone who knows this fool: you spelled seoul as seol once and it took you eight minutes to realize it
jk jk but look ok,,, he’s nowhere near as ditzy as he likes to joke about sometimes
cause yeah he’s great at soccer but he’s also got the brains to go with the brawn!! which makes him understand that despite the scholarships he’s getting to these overseas schools, not a lot of them cover all the expenses it will take to both get there and stay there
whereas the school in seoul is only 516 miles away from home, a stark difference to all those schools all over the world
if yuta wanted, he could go visit his family every weekend with the money he saved
and while seoul (shocker!) really wasn’t his dream place to be, it ended up being not too bad in yuta’s mind
to be honest,,, he kinda liked it
it was the actual school part he didn’t like
yuta felt most alive and happy when on the field, so having to take all these classes he neither cared for nor could understand on top of being in a foreign country and trying to master the language was t o u g h
while yuta never liked to admit it, there were often times he would find himself crying himself to sleep because he missed his family and old friends so much and being in another place, even if only 500 miles away, was stressful for him
thankfully, despite being one of the v few japanese students at his school, he wasn’t the only foreigner, and he’d met tons of good friends who were always patient with him when he mixed up his korean
ppl like taeyong, ten, jaehyun, doyoung, taeil, sicheng, mark, and johnny became some of his closest friends, but sicheng was his first
yuta could still remember his first day in classes at the school and how he couldn’t spot one (1) foreigner until his last class, statistics
yuta had just finished introducing himself to the class and he wasn’t really paying attention to everyone else as the teacher went down each table to get names, majors, places they were from, etc.
but then he remembered hearing this soft voice come from way across the classroom and this boy who was just a little younger than himself was introducing himself as dong sicheng and telling everyone that he was from china and would do his best to try and communicate and,,, fuk,,, it was like yuta’s world got a lil brighter
(i swear to god this is a yuta x reader fic and not a badly disguised yuwin fic ok)
almost immediately after class yuta tracks down sicheng and he’s like oh!!! hello!!! and tries to use his best korean for yuta but then yuta just pats sicheng’s shoulder with the most loving look in his eyes and probably tells sicheng he had been looking for him his whole life or something tbh sicheng doesn’t remember much of that moment except now yuta was his Best Friend and that was nonnegotiable
sicheng soon learned that yuta was also a foreigner and had gotten excited for all of five seconds before he found out he couldn’t speak much chinese, but sicheng was still pretty happy to have someone around who was in the same boat as him regardless
and, over time, sicheng began to teach him chinese and in return, yuta would teach him japanese
they would often try to navigate the horrors of being multilingual
and while yeah, it was pretty frustrating not being able to verbalize how you feel as accurately as you’d like, there were some perks
like insults. just hella insults
especially from sicheng to yuta
yuta absolutely loves pinching his cheeks and telling him how cute he is and follows the kid around and is so CLINGy and sicheng sometimes just has to smile and take it but other times,,,
sicheng: *in chinese* i’m going to skin you alive if you poke my cheek one more time you infuriating little man-
yuta: what are you saying, sicheng? *bats eyelashes lovingly*
sicheng: oh i was just saying ur my best friend in chinese hahahaha
yuta: awwww 💕❣️💓❤️💖💗💝💘
despite this though, the two really do love each other and often times do talk smack to each other about korean customs that they just Do Not Get
and all of their korean friends are just kind of like ???? why are u all so negative and yuwin is like “these are just the facts dudes”
it’s the relationships yuta has formed with these boys and more that really come in handy when yuta realizes in the middle of his second year that,,, he doesn’t really want to go to school for soccer anymore
he doesn’t love the sport any less!! but he just doesn’t feel like it’s what he wants to do for the rest of his life
there’s so much dedication and work that goes into it and yuta just isn’t in the same mindset he was in osaka or during his first year
he feels so ashamed when he informs both the school and his family that he was changing his major, and despite how his family still wants to support him in whatever he chooses, it becomes apparent that time is really running out for him at this point. most people say that declaring a major before your third year is crucial, and he has barely months left
of course, after changing his major, yuta also loses his scholarship and is therefore having to try and make ends meet in any way he can
if that’s taking odd jobs here and there and moving from the dorms into a small, cheap apartment a half hour’s subway ride away from the school, he does what he has to
it’s only randomly when he’s just wasting time with the boys at their dorm that one of them turns on this,,, anime
no it’s not hentai
and sometimes the boys joke abt yuta’s anime knowledge being sub par at best but yuta is just like “at least i’m not a weeb”
until they introduce him to this one anime
ouran high school host club
he learns that the basic premise is the protagonist ends up getting forced into working for a “host club” of pretty, rich boys who tend to the girls of their high school and raise money doing silly things like taking photos of the boys and selling them or auctioning off the host’s belongings
and while he thinks it’s pretty ridiculous,, he’s also inspired
and out of the blue after binge-watching all the episodes in two days, yuta asks if any of the boys thinks it would be possible to have a host club in this decade, specifically at their school
at first, most of them just joke about how weird it’d be and that there were hardly any rich students on campus, let alone ones pretty enough to successfully be a part of a host club
but then yuta is like “no,,, i mean we don’t have to be as elaborate as the anime but we could still do things right? like for people who are stressed with exams or who need to talk to someone because they’re homesick and their friends here don’t get it,,,,, and we can get donations and stuff to keep it going. and the more money we get the more fun activities we can organize for students to enjoy,, wouldn’t it be cool?”
so from there, a conversation spurs on and suddenly this thing is actually getting put to work
each boy is in charge of something, whether it’s being a shoulder to cry on and get advice from on (taeyong), a fun, laid back guy who knows where all the cool things to do on campus are (johnny), or a guy who is just a plain pick up line machine (yuta)
they all do something unique and different compared to the other boys and it all just,,, like it just works so well
at first the school thinks it’s fuckin weird and there’s so much they have to smooth out but they eventually end up getting a faculty advisor to look over their activities and soon enough their “host club” is in business
at first, people really don’t know what they’re getting into when they’re invited to the club on campus, only that it’s supposed to be either really funny or really embarrassing
and the boys are just as nervous as the first few students who arrive
but, at some point, something just clicks
there’s this one student who comes to taeyong every week and complains about their annoying roommate and their terrible history professor but by the end of the meeting, they feel so much lighter
there’s another student who honestly just comes to see doyoung bc he reminds them sm of like a goofy best friend who is both awkward and cute at all times and they often just go to the cafeteria and play board games for hours
and there’s another student who is a chinese transfer and finds so much comfort in getting to talk to sicheng in their native language about home bc they haven’t met many ppl on campus who are in the same boat as them and it’s just,,, a blessing
yuta’s crazy, out of the blue idea actually works
and as ppl become regulars, they tell their friends and their friends tell their friends and suddenly they’re really doing something
students who can are sparing a few bucks here and there and when the club pairs up with other clubs on campus, they also get money from the fundraisers they hold selling ice cream or organizing therapy pet meetings during exam week for all the stressed students
a portion of the money that the club gets goes to the members to help with books and other little necessities that they might have trouble paying for currently
now, yuta, like some of the other boys, doesn’t really have a niche in the club
some of them do!! and that’s fine!! but it’s a little disheartening because there’s always that student who is like “is there anyone here who can do [x] for me?” and there will be one of them there and that thing is right up their alley
whereas all the more broad and unexplored requests go to the other boys who haven’t quite established what they can do for their clients
yuta is usually good at cracking jokes and being an overall mood lifter, but,, so is johnny,,,, so is their youngest, donghyuck,,, so is their newest member yukhei
and once again, yuta just feels like he doesn’t know what he wants in life and doesn’t know where he fits in
and yeah, sure, he put together this whole club in the first place, but he leaves management in the hands of taeyong and doyoung and taeil…. the “responsible” ones
yuta was just the “goof”, the “sassy” one, the “greasy” one
he just doesn’t know where he fits….. he feels like a puzzle piece that’s missing its place from the big picture
enter you, someone who was definitely in a similar head space
you weren’t sure what you were doing with your life, if you really wanted to pursue higher education, and your mental health was suffering big time
you were pretty much on your last leg as you tried to figure out whether you should just call it quits this semester and drop out for good or if you should keep soldiering on
your friend notices that you’ve fallen so deep into a bad mood that you haven’t been able to drag yourself out of it yet, so she recommends that you come try this new thing on campus that a lot of students have been talking about
something about a “harem of handsome boys” and “the answer to all your problems”
you seriously couldn’t see how a boy would ever be the answer to any problem but nevertheless u went
after your last class of the day, your friend brought you to one of the empty rooms on the top floor of one of the buildings on campus overlooking the rest of the school
there,,, you hadn’t known what you expected but it definitely wasn’t this
there’s just a bunch of handsome looking boys sitting around the big classroom, one sitting on top of a desk and talking animatedly to one girl about god knows what, another in the back showing a girl some new trendy dance you hadn’t caught on to yet, and another standing off to the side with a kind smile on his face as he introduces himself as jungwoo, a member of the club
he asks you what you’re looking for for the evening, and you have a weird feeling about the way he asks the question but this seems so,,, innocent,,, odd but innocent
your friend nudges you to go on, and you kind of just shrug and tell him you don’t know yet
jungwoo just smiles and tells you that he knows the perfect person for you
and then he runs off to the back of the room, up to one boy who wasn’t talking to anyone yet
he’s got headphones on and the shade on the window next to him is rolled all the way up, letting the sunlight in and it highlights his sharp features and stunning hazel eyes
jungwoo says something, and then those hazel eyes are on you
you barely register your friend leaving, just that her fleeting words are “have fun with him, he’s a mystery”
hazel eyes blinks and then quietly waves you over, and out of instinct you look over to the familiar face of jungwoo to see if it’s ok
the boy who looks much younger in comparison to hazel eyes just nods and smiles that big smile again, waving you over as well
so you make your way over, catching eyes with a few of the boys who were with other “clients” as your friend had called them, some of them giving you a smile and some of them widening their eyes as they watched you make your way over to hazel eyes
jungwoo pulls a chair out for you and faces you toward hazel eyes, telling you to have fun and to talk to him if you had any questions
once he’s gone…. you don’t quite know what to do now
and hazel eyes has no problem staring at you while you try to figure it out
immediately, you decide that’s the first order of business
“so uh,,, i’m (y/n), what is ur name?” you ask, sounding much meeker than you intended
honestly, you were just tired and couldn’t quite believe this was what you were spending your very limited time doing instead of homework or staring at the wall in the middle of an existential crisis
hazel eyes smiles some, “nakamoto yuta, but you can call me later”
it takes you a second to process that he’s just used a pick up line on you,, and a bad one at that
by the time you even get a stunned laugh out of your mouth, he grins wider and you swear that the sun’s light burns a little brighter on his skin when he does, “i’m already taking your breath away, huh?”
“out of disbelief” “i know, right? i’m a marvel. it’s ok, you can admit it” he nods at you understandingly, as if he knew your feelings better than you did yourself
“is this your thing then? you’re the flirty one?” you ask, folding your arms on the desk separating the two of you and tilting your head to the side
the sun reaches you when you do and,, you looked beautiful from across the room but up close
you took his breath away
he has to collect what is left of his bearings, watching you in quiet awe as he thinks of what to say to you in response
there are no more pick up lines or witty remarks up his sleeve all of a sudden
how did you do that?
he finally clears his throat and looks away almost bashfully, “that’s more yukhei’s area”
“then what do you do?”
“uh,,, i don’t. uh. i don’t have a thing”
you hum lowly, “so do you usually get the clients who are indecisive?”
he thinks for a moment before nodding an affirmative
after a small awkward silence, he tries to fill the time you have together, “well, why don’t you tell me about why you decided to come today then? or how you’re feeling? i can find out what to do for you from there”
you try to think about what to tell him, unsure if you should go as deep as to tell the truth but also if you should stay elusive. after all, you had no idea what this club specialized in. maybe it was just for lighthearted interactions between students and nothing more
“i really only came because my friend said i should take my mind off of school stress and well, here i am”
yuta blinks for a few seconds before perking up, pushing himself up from his chair. the sudden movement surprises you, but then he’s walking over to the other corner of the room where there’s a locker located. he pops open the door and pulls out a soccer ball, then turns to you with a grin “wanna play me? loser buys slurpees at the corner store”
your eyes widen in surprise before you decide that you’ve nothing to lose and decide to accept with an added “slurpees and snacks, accordingly”
yuta ends up leading you out to the empty, open soccer field as the sun starts its descent out of the sky, kicking the ball around to you with more force and precision than you had expected
it’s only a quarter into the game when you realize that you are v seriously outplayed and yuta hasn’t broken a sweat
meanwhile you have drowned in your own bodily liquids and are probably watering the grass with it at this point
“you tricked me!” you accuse, breathing hard as you fall to your knees at another goal scored by him, but he just grins and his smile looks more devious out here than it did when you’d first seen it
“i never told you i was bad at soccer, i just told you to play me” “tricked!” “you didn’t ask!”
you rush over to retrieve the ball, wanting so badly to score a goal out of spite but when you kick,,, he just quickly blocks it and gets it into ur goal instead
finally, he decides to pity you and ends the game early with a whopping win 12-1
to make up for completely annihilating you, he offers to drive you both to the store instead of making you walk in your exhausted state and soon, the both of you are perched in chairs outside of the corner store, laughing over your slurpees and snacks and talking about everything that comes to mind, from the strange little trinkets yuta keeps in his car to your ankle socks decorated with little strawberries
the sun has fully gone down now, the night air cool but relieving on your heated skin
yuta brushes his hair back with his hand and takes a long drag from his straw before leaning back into his seat and looking at you, “so, how do you feel?”
you start at the sudden question, realizing that you have no ready-made answer on your tongue
honestly, you hadn’t thought anything about how you felt
the whole time you were with yuta, you just let go. you stopped thinking. stopped feeling. you just had fun
so you tell him just that
“i feel the most carefree right now than i ever have since i started school here”
a look of stupefaction floods his expression, making you shuffle in your seat “sorry, uh,,, was that too much?”
he quickly shakes his head, “no i just,,, uh… i feel the same”
you two just stare at each other like you’d done earlier when you’d first met, bewilderment and curiosity clear in the air
there’s something there, you both note, but what it is is still unclear
all you know is that you felt free, and all yuta knows is that he feels like he might have actually found his thing
he ends up taking you back to the school where it has gotten quite late and all the other boys have finished up with their clients and have gone home by now
yuta is going to wish you a goodnight and get back to his apartment when you turn to him and dig into your wallet all of a sudden, pulling out a few dollar bills
“i uh,, i guess you guys take donations and everything?”
usually, this wouldn’t feel so strange. after all, it’s what the club runs on next to fundraisers and the like
but
between the both of you, it just doesn’t feel right
so he pushes your hand away and grins, “you already treated me to food, silly!”
you look like you want to protest but yuta just smiles and heaves a big breath, “so! i hope i made your night”
you just look at him for a bit before blurting out “can i see you again?”
yuta is taken aback bc… well, he’s never had anyone request that of him before. he never really saw regulars like the other boys, so to imagine that he would have one just boggled his mind for a while
he soon recovered however, putting on one of his carefree smiles, “only if you’ll continue to suck at soccer”
you scowl before breaking out into laughter together, you waving a quick goodbye before slipping out of the car and heading off to your dorm room before the night got any older
and yuta really shouldn’t be surprised when he sees you in their room again the same day next week, hair put up out of your face with a funny looking headband and your body outfitted in a pair of shorts and a tee shirt and some sneakers that definitely aren’t made for running around on grass for hours
he doesn’t even get to ask you what the hell you thought you were wearing before you’re slapping your hands together and demanding a rematch for last week
and when he beats you (again), you treat him to slurpees once more
he expects you to really give up this time because now you’ve learned that he was recently attending school on a soccer scholarship and there was virtually no way that you, without any experience in the sport, could pummel him in it only after two matches
but then when he drops you off at the dorms a little earlier this time, your parting message is that you’ll be back for the next match
you meet him six days earlier, then five days, then four, three, two…
soon, you’re popping by every time you have a free hour or two to see if he’s in to play
slowly, you learn his schedule and he learns yours
the boys become well acquainted with you when you bound into the classroom with bright eyes and slightly more sport-appropriate outfits, simply yelling a “yuta, they’re here!” at the top of their lungs
while yuta starts to complain that all your meetings are the same, he does find that he’s having quite a lot of fun playing you
because, and don’t tell him i told you, but you’re getting better the more you play and he’s kinda proud
for those few hours every other day or so, it’s just the two of you messing around and playing soccer with each other
sometimes, you’ll get some talking in when you eat or when you both take a break and fall out on the grass in sweaty, panting messes
you learn all about how he wasn’t from around here, not too much of a surprise to you given his name, but you were awfully impressed with how he spoke almost like a native korean
he tells you about his life back home, about his family and how he’d gotten into soccer from a young age and adored it more than anything
he tells you how he has dreams of his mother’s homemade food and how he and his father message each other everyday about how much they miss each other
he tells you how ever since he changed his mind about his major, he’s felt lost and confused about his place in life and whether he would be anywhere near productive in the next ten years
and for the first time since yuta’s told someone about it, he feels like someone understands him
because you tell him that you feel similarly, that you don’t even know if what you’re studying for now will have any impact on your life in the future. you don’t have a clue what you want to do with your life and you don’t have a clue who you want to be,, but there’s something in that solidarity
and despite how scared the both of you are of your futures, you both decide that no matter what it is, you two can figure it out together
it’s different. it’s…. good. he likes the feeling of having someone understand him. he loves the feeling of having someone understand him and vow to walk the treacherous roads of life together. he really, really does
he also tells you about his funny habits like experimenting with making new foods (that he forces the other boys to eat and then enjoy) and teaching his unsuspecting friends out of context japanese just for kicks
you tell him if he ever teaches you something messed up in japanese you’ll kick him right in his soccer balls
he makes sure not to play u like that
except,,, maybe once
you: hey yuta how do you say “how much is this?” in japanese? i want to know if i ever visit
yuta: ohhh yeah it’s *in japanese* yuta is the best
you:…. did i just hear your name in that sentence
your friend pokes fun at you for going back so often but you honestly don’t care; you like being around yuta
in fact,, you kinda feel weird when you’re not with him
at first you had attributed it to him just having such a way with words that you would end up consumed in trying to decipher him rather than thinking about your day-to-day problems
but even when school stress was low, if he wasn’t around, you didn’t feel quite as peppy
yuta was slowly becoming something like your other half, fitting the pieces of you that you had long thought were missing
you guessed it might not have been the safest idea to start feeling so strongly for someone whose job was basically making people happy, but you felt that whatever you felt with him,, he felt with you
you could see it in the way he looked at you compared to his other clients, the way he would pretend not to light up when you’d walk in the room, or how he would try to prolong your time together in hopes that you’d stay longer,,,, keep your eyes on him more
you just didn’t know what to do with that information, didn’t know how to go about it the right way
after all, he had become someone you didn’t want to lose. if you screwed it up, you would be right back in the slump you were in before
you try instead to push the tumultuous feelings away for the time being and instead focus on meeting him again for your next match
you had managed to win your last two games and yuta was starting to get nervous, wondering if he was either losing his touch or you were just getting too good for him
when you show up to greet him that day, you notice you’re a little early and he’s with a client that had recently started coming to see him lately
she always came before you and always seemed to be somewhat starstruck whenever she would talk to him. you had eavesdropped on their conversations a number of times, so much so that you had enough blackmail fodder for d a y s
you had once teased him asking him why he never talked in such a cute voice to you as he did her
yuta: i don’t act cute for demons
usually, you would just sit off to the side and wait but you’re surprised when you’re suddenly approached by johnny who is grinning and plopping into a seat next to you, greeting you with one of his million dollar smiles “hey (y/n), waiting on yuta?”
you laugh, glancing over in the boy in question’s direction to see him fluttering his lashes at the girl “yeah, waiting on him and his girlfriend”
johnny snickers, “jealous, much?”
you fake a pout and rest your chin on your fist, “oh, definitely. i’m just overcome with the green-eyed monster!”
johnny looks over at yuta again and his friendly smile morphs into something a little sinister as he turns back to you, leaning in closer, “how obnoxious do you think we’ll have to be to get his attention?”
you take in a breath, wondering if you really should indulge johnny just for a joke, but then yuta looks over
and you start to laugh far too loudly as if johnny had just told you the most hilarious joke
you slap his shoulder for emphasis and feel yuta staring at the both of you, a slight pout on his lips as he can’t help but wonder what tf u two are even laughing abt
what’s,,, what’s with that loud laugh huh?? johnny’s not that funny??? you only laugh like that when he tells you jokes!!!!
>:(
you two keep it up well until you hear yuta call your name from the other side of the room and you finally realize the girl is long gone and yuta’s got his jacket thrown over his shoulder (all cool like, bc bad boys don’t wear their jackets apparently) and the soccer ball tucked between his hip and forearm, looking as serious as he ever has (but it’s rlly cute ishfiash)
“are you coming or are you two busy?”
johnny turns to you and tries to muffle a laugh, whispering for you to run along and that his “job is done”
whatever…. that means
you follow after yuta but he’s walking faster than usual, barely giving you a chance to keep up except for when he stops at the elevator
you try to jokingly ask him what he and his client talked about but he just mumbles “it’s confidential”
you can tell there’s something different in the air now and you’re feeling nervous, but you follow him out to the soccer field regardless and the game starts
it starts off fine, but you quickly realize that he’s playing in a totally different state than usual
he takes each shot seriously, seemingly getting you back for defeating him in the last two games
at one point, you guys get close to each other, you attempting to take the ball from him in hopes that you could somehow survive this game with more than two points or else he would totally annihilate you
your chests are bumping against each other, arms stretched backwards to fight the temptation of touching the other in order to get the ball
all it is is quick feet and sneaky steals
every time you steal, he steals back
it keeps going back and forth like that for a while, and you finally look him in the face
honestly, he could have gotten his point by now and finished the game
but,, he looks distracted
the mindless movements he makes prove that
he’ll steal the ball only to let you steal it back
“yuta…” you call his name softly, taking the ball from him once more
he seems to snap out of whatever it is that has him on another train of thought, and when he sees you have the ball, he steals it back immediately, but this time he gears up to kick it into your goal
you don’t know why you do it exactly, but you have to think fast if you want to save your ass in this game
your fingers shoot out and make contact with yuta’s sides and he jolts, breaking into an involuntary fit of laughter as you begin to tickle him
he demands that you release him in between giggles, hands weakly trying to pry yours away
you laugh too and manage to get him away from the ball just long enough to score a point while he’s compromised
yuta suddenly catches your wrists and pulls you into him, finally sucking in a breath as he realizes that you’ve just stolen a point from him. his cheeks are flushed from laughing so hard (or maybe from embarrassment, but he’d never admit to it) and he’s glaring at you, but not with nearly the same intensity as he had earlier with johnny
“you cheated” he breathes, voice low and quiet
you look up into his eyes and start smiling, flexing your hands in his grip and fighting the urge to laugh when he keeps that same hold on you, “you were distracted. i had to get your head back in the game” “you tricked me” “now, why does that sound so familiar?”
he opens his mouth to protest but finds himself speechless as he glares at you,,, and then pouts “is this payback?”
you shrug, “maybe… but why were you so distracted in the first place… you okay?”
he looks you in the eye before dropping your wrists, backing away some
and,, you miss the closeness instantaneously
yuta sighs heavily, and you’ve never heard him sound more upset before
yuta folds his arms over his chest and avoids eye contact, “i,, it’s really stupid”
“it’s ok, i expect nothing less from you” you joke, moving forward and softly tapping his chin to try and get him to look at you. you frown when he flinches away “seriously, what is it?”
“don’t you feel it?”
“feel… what?”
“you know what. just now, you felt it, didn’t you? all i do is move away from you and my whole body just feels,, wrong. it doesn’t make sense to me”
you watch as he shuffles quietly in the grass, face turned down in a thoughtful and nervous frown
suddenly, without a chance to rethink it, you grab his wrists like he had done yours and pull him right up against you, only,, you severely miscalculate his weight being thrown against you in comparison to yours being thrown against him
you go falling to the ground, right before yuta’s quick thinking has him twisting the two of you mid air so that his back hits the ground instead of yours
but again!!!! you two are really good at miscalculating!!!
and without meaning to (at least, not like this)…. your lips collide
it’s rough because of the momentum and your teeth knock together the moment you both hit the ground, but the pain disappears the second yuta hisses
and kisses you again
like you had grown so accustomed to, you get thrown into a world of your own, thoughts of the little things flying right out of the window
all you can taste is yuta’s lips and all you can feel is every nerve in your body going into overdrive
honestly, you wonder why you didn’t kiss him before
god, you really wonder why you didn’t kiss him before
you pull away first, biting your lip as you catch yuta almost chasing your lips and then letting his head fall back to the ground in defeat when you’ve moved out of his reach
“…are you still tricking me? so that I don’t call a foul on that tickling move earlier?” he narrows his eyes some, chest swelling with pride when you laugh again. because you’re laughing because of him
you cup his cheek and sigh, “you saw right through me”
that feeling you have when you’re near yuta seems to just intensify when you two decide to start dating
since yuta is naturally clingy too it just,,, works so well sehfiajsd
definitely the type of boyfriend to always be touching you in some way
sometimes if he’s not touching he’s hovering, for sure
you could just be standing and he’s like. There
the boys joke that he acts like he’s surgically attached to you but when they ask about you he always tries to act aloof like oh,,, them? yeah,,,, i don’t care abt them at all,,, i could live without them,,, *phone rings with ur caller id on the screen* wait shut up the love of my life is calling
always in The mood for some ominous reason
he’s just a bit,, kiss-starved ig
speaking of kisses!!! king of kissing you till you turn blue
he can go for quite a while and he has quite the tongue and i will leave that at that my friends
he’s such a touchy guy but if you’re equally as touchy he? goes into overload?
sometimes he might literally stop kissing you just to hyper focus on you touching him and ur like dude!!! come on!!! multi-task!!!
he blames it on the fact that you just mesmerize him and you’re too flattered to scold him again
;-;
you guys ofc still have your soccer matches, and you’ve gotten quite good
yuta had honestly missed playing between classes and the club and such, so you encourage him to rejoin the soccer team just for fun and he just loves it so much. he really did miss playing like he used to
speaking of the club, yuta is still a member, but it’s pretty clear his mind is elsewhere with clients
eventually, he decides that he can’t devote his full attention to clients any more so instead he asks 2tae and doyoung if he can maybe take an executive position
and they’re like?? uh YEH u started the damn thing lol
so yuta starts helping put together fun little outings and just tries to make the club not only more fun for the clients, but also for the members
and steadily, more ppl start to join!!! and not just boys!!!
honestly there’s a personality for everyone and something that everyone can enjoy
one time you came to visit yuta during the club hours and a newcomer mistook you for a member and started shyly asking jungwoo if she could pick you
needless to say yuta was v amused
“wow (y/n), if you weren’t dating me i’d probably hire u right now” “yuta please evaporate”
but anywho, despite all of this, yuta still hasn’t figured out what he wants to major in and do with his life
but also… he’s realized that’s okay
and that not everybody has life figured out like that
and if he has to take a year off and find something to do until he gets it then he will
and if he leaves school and never pursues it again, he’d be alright with that
because honestly, his fear of not being perfect or the rising star he was expected to be back home can’t overshadow the love he’s received not only from you but also his friends and family. and while everything in this day and age tells him he has to have it all figured out by now, he has other plans
he knows whatever he chooses to do from tomorrow morning till the last day of his life, he’ll make the decision because he wants to, because he loves what he’s going to do, and because his happiness is more important than any preconceived notions of “success”
he’ll be alright, he’s more than loved enough to see the silver lining
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Survey #198
“i woke up on the wrong side of my floor.”
What do you get tired of having to explain? It's not something asked frequently at all, but since I had to to new doctors and ER workers etc., I'm not a fan of re-telling the break-up story with Jason. What perk of being “grown up” lived up to your childhood expectations? Independence, though I. Don't act on it much with my dependent ass. Who is your least favorite character in the last show you watched? Shoot me, Sara and Con, but so far Zuko as a villain doesn't impress me. If you weren’t in a relationship with your significant other (or last) and you met them for the first time tonight, would you hook up with them? I wouldn't "hook up" with anyone. Is there a place that makes you sad to return to? It's just better for me to stay away from the place Jason and I took our first prom pictures. I actually returned there last fall to take pictures however; I was fine, but it still felt weird. What is the most morally questionable thing that you’ve done? Idk. Has anyone ever surprised you by changing when you didn’t believe that they could? Dad, 100%. What is the best advice a sibling has given you? Something from Ashley regarding the break-up when I was starting to recover, but I can't remember exactly what. Was there an opportunity that you feel like you missed out on in high school? Hm... thought about this quite a bit, and I actually don't think so? I mean I wish my mental health had been better, but I overall had a fair experience. What was the biggest lie you’ve told a significant other? Idk, it's just about impossible for me to tell an s/o a serious lie; or small ones, for that matter. Maybe that I wasn't mad about something when I was? Idk. Have you ever treated someone badly because someone else treated you badly? I'm sure I have at some point, just not deliberately. What is your favorite lyric from your favorite band? Don't- What is the worst thing you’ve said or done while PMSing? Boy, I've done some dumb shit. Probably self-harm (no, it's not something I do now). Did you have an irrational childhood fear? Oh, I'm sure. None are coming to me now... Well, do you consider serious separation anxiety "irrational?" Do you and your significant other have ‘a song’? What is it? Oh boy, a lot. "Pretty Woman" by Van Halen and Paramore's "The Only Exception" get me the most, though. Do you ever give things away to your friends? Don't really have anyone to do that with. Is there anyone’s friendship or relationship, in particular, that makes you jealous? Nope. Well, it'd be absolutely incredible to have a friendship (so in this case, not counting Sara) like Rhett and Link. I'm not even remotely kidding, they were the ones that made me question my former, humiliating outlook on homosexuality because my heart just yelled at me to ship them & I still do lol. Do you have anyone’s tweets sent directly to your phone? Whose? No. Have you ever caused a lot of noise in a library? No. Do you complain a lot? Eh, depends on the day and subject. Have you ever been to a music festival? Yes, but only to take pictures for a photography class. What was the last thing that completely took your breath away? The blood wolf moon. I stayed up 'til like, 2-3-something to see totality, and it was fucking incredible. I hadn't seen a full lunar eclipse since I was a kid. If your life was a movie, what would it be rated? R, probably... mostly due to excessive cursing lmao. Are you more of a talker or a listener? A listener. Have you ever called in at a radio station & dedicated a song to someone? No. Would you ever go to a protest or be involved in a protest? Sure. When playing rock, paper, scissors which do you usually pick? I think scissors. Have you ever tried to write a book? Yes. Have you ever been hit by a chunk of hail? Maybe a small one? Would you ever try any extreme sports? No. Is it true that if you don’t love yourself, you can’t love another? I've always found that idea as absolute and utter bullshit. Do you ever try making your dream up before falling asleep? I just daydream; I don't like, actively hope it'll transfer into a legitimate dream. Ever been on a golf cart? Yes. Have you ever slapped someone in the face? No. Last person you took a nap with? Sara. Are you embarrassed by anything you have in your bedroom? No. Is your last ex currently in a relationship? Not to my knowledge. Has anyone ever given you roses? Yeah. Would you rather have your parents catch you having sex or smoking weed? asjfpawe quite honestly, smoking weed. The former would probs kill me. Do you owe anybody money? No. How many times have you gotten into a argument with the last person you kissed? Now as adults and not stupid kids, just a handful. Maybe just one or two serious ones. What’s the most positive thing anyone has ever said about you? When I actually had a brain, compliments I got regarding my intelligence meant a lot. Maybe there's something else, but that's just the first that came to mind. What’s the most positive thing you would say about yourself right now? I'm very empathetic and care a lot about cheering people up. Have you ever been to church? What was it like? I grew up going to church, and at no point in my life did I enjoy it. When I was old enough to not be forced to go, I quickly stopped, even when I was still religious. What’s your favorite thing to do on a sunny day? If it's not hot, swim. How many different drugs have you tried? None that weren't prescription. List each drug, and how it made you feel. N/A Which drug do you consider to be your favorite (including alcohol)? Well, I don't even like the taste of alcohol... but I guess that has to be the answer as it's the only one I'll ever indulge in. Who have you had sex with in order from best to worst (you can use initials if you want)? Only done it with one person. What’s your favorite kind of alcoholic beverage? Margaritas. Do you feel like different alcohols have different effects on you? No. Honestly, how good do you think you are in bed? What about oral? Eh, I'm shy, but I don't think I'm bad. It was good enough to get the job done, at least. I fucking hated oral so therefore rarely did it, so idk. What’s your biggest thing you want to accomplish? Overcoming my hard-as-diamonds anxiety. Three favorite candies. Go. Reese's. Sour Punch Straws. Peach rings. What was the last stupid thing someone talked you into believing? Idk. What’s a song that would describe your life at the moment? I legit feel "In The End" by Linkin Park pretty deeply of the late. Man, somehow been a year and still R.I.P. Chester. ;_; What was the last thing that you shared? Idk. Do you ever eat leftover pizza cold? I love cold pizza. Where are you the most ticklish? FEET. When you’re wanting a midnight snack, what do you normally get? I don't have them. Which cartoon character would you want to keep as a pet? Maybe Vulpix. Small and cute and isn't like, actually on fire. Have you ever considered a career in music/acting? No. When was the last time you felt seriously embarrassed? At a VR class when I was talking and completely lost my train of thought and caused like five awkward silences. If your bedroom walls could talk, what would they most likely say? "Bitch u ever move?" Did you ever really believe in Santa Claus? Yes. Have you ever seen a movie that was better than the book it was based on? Maybe? I'm unsure, but I doubt it. Did you like the show Invader Zim? I never really watched it. What’s the greatest/most influential song you’ve ever heard? Ozzy's "Life Won't Wait." Have you ever bought yourself a present at Christmas? I mean, I've been given money to buy something myself. Is there someone that you’re mean to for no good reason? No? I have damn good reason to be unfriendly to Bentley, but not mean. What was the last thing you got out of the freezer? A rat for Venus. How many people signed you latest yearbook? Not too many, but I didn't ask a lot to. How is your mom today? Probably the same as always: Tired and stressed. Do you prefer long or short hair on the opposite sex? Generally, longer hair. But of course it varies on the person. Would you swap your first name for your middle? No, that would sound so weird. Plus I like my name. Would you rather have 10 siblings or be an only? Hm... growing up as an only child would suck, I think. Ten is a hell of a lot, but I'd prefer that over none. What is your favorite soda? Mountain Dew Voltage is my Achilles' heel. Do like country music? No. It's seldom I'll like any. Tim McGraw impresses me most of the time, though, but not to where I'll go look up a song and binge it. Are you afraid of black cats? Not at all. Do you watch the lightning during storms? No, I stay inside. If I'm in a car though, I keep an eye out. Do you like Scentsy stuff? Sure, but I don't buy anything from it. Do you like House? Never seen it. How many tracks were on the last album you listened to? Idr. Which one of your relatives is most likely to embarrass you? Probably Dad. The way he interacts with some people is kinda... weird to where people may feel like he's being rude, when he in no way intends it. You can tell some people don't get him. Are there any songs in your iTunes library that you’ve never listened to? No. Who is the most intelligent person you know? My psychiatrist probably qualifies as a genius. Who was the last female you were introduced to? My personal VR coach. Who was the last male you were introduced to? I have no idea. Who is that last person who harassed and annoyed you? I feel like it was some kid that annoyed me, but idr. Who is the last person who made you feel hurt? Probably Mom. What was the last thing you were worried about? My job future. Are you worried about anyone now? Not really. What time of day feels the most magical to you? Early morning, especially when it's dewy with a light mist and a pink sky as the sun starts to rise... whew. Love it. Who are you jealous of? My sisters and an old friend that's a professional photographer now. What is the last physical ailment you took medication for? Nausea. If you are a YouTuber, are you behind on posting videos? N/A Who is a great YouTuber you have recently discovered? Not really anyone recently. What color is your bathrobe? I don't have one. What is a great pain reliever? Depends on the pain? Are you interested in a guy who has a girlfriend? No. Do you sell any products? If so, what do you sell? No. Are you responsible with money? I believe so, having learned to be very frugal from growing up poor. My weakness is tats, though... I have to make a genuine effort to save for other things. Are you responsible in general? Not very, honestly... but it also depends on what I have responsibility over. Do you use a nightlight? No. Kaiju's and Venus' lights stay on, however, if you wanna count that. Do you have a girl that is strictly a friend that isn’t related to you that you can go to? Not really. Are you “the good guy”, or “the bad guy”, or somewhere in between? I guess the good guy? Have you ever watched the original British Skins? No, nor the American. It disgusted me. Do you like Oreos? Hell yeah. Have you ever had a sex dream about someone you barely know? I don't believe so. Were you a cute baby? I was, dude. Would you ever shoot someone right in the face? If it was in self-defense with someone trying to seriously hurt or kill me, that's right where I'd aim. Have you ever sold drugs? No. Have you ever been shot? No. Are you on good terms with your parents? Yeah. What’s your opinion on border control? It's necessary for the protection of our country. I'm totally for legal immigration, mind you. Have you had any major tragedies in your life? I'd say one event qualifies. What do you think of open casket funerals? No opinion, I think... A part of me feels like the risk of someone disrespecting the body isn't worth it, but simultaneously I firmly feel the actual family and those very close to this person have the right to see them one final time looking at peace. Have you ever had a pet rat? Quite a number. I had two pairs where three died of unknown causes, while one developed cancer and passed. Went through two that died last year; one had to be sick upon adopting her, as she passed very quickly, and her sister immediately followed suit. Adopted Mitsu, later another to try to give her a partner (rats are social and aren't supposed to live alone), but she'd already grown territorial, so the sweetheart had to be returned. Now I just have Mitsu. Could you go a year without sex? It's already been three, and longer wouldn't matter to me. Have you ever wore pajamas a whole straight week? I'm just about always at home in my pj's, and considering I leave like, never... but not the same pair that long. Have you ever waxed your legs? No. Have you ever taught a little kid to flick people off? The fuck, no. Are you more of a taker or giver? Giver. Have you ever itched yourself until your skin was raw? I have permanent scars on both shins from that; my skin becomes unbearably itchy after I shave and then scrub my legs in the shower. Nothing seems to stop it. Do you always clear your history after using the computer? No. Have you ever been chased by a cat? Playing with kittens/juveniles, probably, considering just how many we've had throughout my life. Have you ever had your food stolen by a bird? No. Have you ever dyed your hair light auburn? No. Do you take really good care of your feet? Run now w/ potential TMI: My feet are like. Nothing but thicc calluses from when I would walk like crazy. I haven't been able to get rid of them for nothing, and it's been YEARS. Like, I probably need a professional for this shit lmao. My nails are fine and I keep them clean, it's just the callus ordeal. Is the snow where you live the icey kind or powdery kind? It can be either. Do you get blizzards where you live? I think we've only had one that qualified in my entire life. Can't remember if the wind was bad... What’s the coldest you can remember it ever being? With the wind chill, it was actually around 2 degrees, I think. When was the last time you did something rebellious? Um. Idk. What are your favorite things to create? OCs. What’s an old hobby that you want to pick back up? Reading. :/ Do you ever read books to a pet? No. Which has better craft supplies: Dollar Tree or Dollar General? I have zero clue. Which dollar store do you shop at the most? I think Dollar General? What color is your trash can in your bedroom? I don't have one in here. What was the theme of your childhood bedroom? Baby animals. What color was your nursery as a baby? Idr. What was the last surgery you had? A cyst removal. What’s something you prefer to keep private? Lol yeah, ask that on a survey I'mma share with the Internet. What is something cheesy your high school’s principal has said? Idr. I don't remember much of him other than he was a goddamn ass. Are you more of a rule breaker or rule follower? Depends, but typically, a follower. Are you good at prioritizing? Idk. Which holiday is your favorite to decorate for? HALLOFUCKINWEEN If you’re not religious, were you ever? What made you lose faith? I was raised religious, but just life in general brought me to just theism, which I don't really consider a "real" religion. Is there a particular tradition that you follow from your heritage? No. What are your thoughts on where feminism is today? Yo calm your tits. How would you describe your aesthetic? Likes pastel and soft things but is also gore-crazed and obsessed with dark shit that'll probably lead me to Hell. Are you at all interested in philosophy/theory? If so, what philosopher/theorist caught your attention? If not, would you ever consider reading any? YES; however, as someone with OCD that heavily manifests itself as incredulous ruminations to the point I face breakdowns, I try to avoid philosophical debates. No one in specific has caught my attention, but I mean, I haven't exactly made an effort to learn about anyone. Have you ever played any virtual reality games? What was that like? If not, would you ever like to try? No, but I would LOVE to. Is there anything about technology that scares you? The potential it has to reaching some form of sentience the more and more we advance with it. I ain't about that singularity shit. What’s a song that you know that does a lot of wordplay or anything that you find clever? Shit dude, lots of Otep songs. She can make rhymes and such with the creepiest shit. Bring me back the Otep whose music wasn't just political ranting, please. What do you do before you go to bed? The last thing I usually do is DragonVale. Where did you last go out to eat? Hardee's. Do you have unlimited texting? Yeah. Who of the opposite sex has seen you at your worst? Jason or Girt. Girt came to the ER after my suicide attempt, my lowest of low points, while Jason saw me in absolute hysterics the night of the break-up when I said something suicidal so he came here briefly. I feel each was like... a different kind of "worst," if that makes sense. One was absolute, utter defeat, while the other was seeing a human absolutely shatter. Have you ever won anything from the radio? No. Will you keep your last name when you get married? No. What song are you listening to? Shane Dawson's "Fuck Up" is a Big Mood. Do you know anyone whose name starts with an X? Not that I know personally, I think. When was the last time you took a picture with your pet(s)? Roman like over a month ago, Venus a while before... I rarely take pictures including me because I'm ugly. Who’s your favorite Muppet? I don't know like, any. What’s your favorite monster? (can be Monsters Inc., horror films, stories, or myths, whatever) These are too many options man. I guess probably Pyramid Head. But I'm crazy for cryptids too man, I love me some Jersey Devil and Mothman shit. Have you ever seen a polar bear in person? At zoos. What’s your favorite thing to order from Taco Bell? If you heard me eating cinnabon delights in the next room, you'd have all reason to believe a porno was being filmed. What do you think of off-brand soda? I'm fine with them. Which do you like better – carpet or wood floor? I generally find wood prettier, but carpet is comfier. Getting down on and up off the wooden floor when exercising hurts, though. Buuut wood is also easier to clean... but also louder... why the fuck am I getting this deep into a question jeez idk basically. What embarrasses you the most in front of other people? Being a 23 y/o teenage fangirl lmao. Have you considered running for president? Hell no. If you had to choose one thing you were most passionate about, what would it be and why? Hm... there's a lot. I suppose ending poverty? Or environmental preservation, which I am already extremely passionate about, but I could actually take more action. Where is the most beautiful place on earth and why? I'd imagine the Grand Canyon. It's so vast and ancient and gives you an idea of just how small we truly are. Are ghosts real? Yes. Are aliens real? Probably. Do you know how to play dominoes? No. What food will you absolutely not, under any circumstances, eat? Anything from an endangered animal. Would you ever adopt a child? If I wanted kids, possibly. What is one thing you’re embarrassed to admit you want to try? *shrugs* Is there something you wish you had said sorry for but never did? I wish I'd told Jenna about the Joel thing. Have you been on your first date? If so, how did it go? Yeah, it was fine. Cute really, though unorthodox as he invited my mother along. It actually did make me less nervous tho. What woke you up this morning? My cat meowing his damn brains out. He does this loud, deep meow when he really wants something, and it woke me up. He does that some mornings, and I have no clue why. Your mood? Eh, nervous. I have a short VR class today, and I have to talk to the woman who handles my case, and I don't believe she'll be happy I haven't applied anywhere yet, even though it's been like, five days... I've been working on getting an Office certificate instead. Did you ever watch The Land Before Time when you were younger? I WAS IN LOVE. Do you check your texts right away when you receive them? Usually. What feeling do you have the most difficulty in expressing? Envy. How do you think you would handle yourself in a crisis situation? Have an absolute panic attack and die lmao. But it also depends on if anyone is in the situation with me. Like if someone I seriously loved was endangered, I have a feeling I'd rush to immediately help them. Does any particular season make you happier than others? Why/why not? Autumn. Beautiful and cool. In what circumstances do you feel most at peace? When I'm with Sara and we're both happy and laughing. :') What is the best thing about being a male/female? Female: It's more "socially acceptable" to show emotions. Male: Don't have to worry about menstruation cycles. Do you enjoy hugging people? Do you enjoy receiving hugs? Yeah. Do you think that luck has much to play in your life? No. I don't believe people have premeditated-by-nature good or bad luck. It's all random or related to your own choices. Do you think you are competitive? Do you really dislike losing? In only a few areas; no. What is a talent you wish you possessed? The ability to draw hyperrealistically. When was the last time you went to McDonald’s? It's been quite a while. Maybe around a month. Could you go a whole day without your computer? Definitely not willingly. Have you ever really liked someone to begin with, then changed your mind about them? Yeah, Juan. Who was the last person you spoke to on the phone, for more than half an hour? What did you talk about? Most likely Colleen. It was a personal matter, so not saying. Has your ex fallen in love with anyone else, since the two of you broke up? I'm assuming Jason did with Ashley, maybe not. When was the last time you looked at your significant other/crush’s Facebook profile? Been a while. What was the last thing that one of your parents bought for you? Food for me. The last time you went to the hairdressers, what did you have done? A muuuch-needed trim.
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sweetlysilent · 7 years
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Where's My Love
Requested: Nope
Based off a prompt list #6 linked Here
#6 “I thought I told you that we’re friends and nothing more!”
I also recommend listening to the song Where’s My Love by: Syml. 
Which also influenced the title of this imagine.
Pairing: Peter Parker x Reader
Description: You were new to the school, you were awkward and shy like you always were whenever you moved schools’. You soon fell into a group of friends that you loved. You were extremely close with Peter, sometimes you believed that you two could be something, but you knew he loved Liz, making you distance yourself to see if he’d notice.
Warnings: Lots of sadness prepare yourself.
Word Count: 2,751
A/N: Hey guys, I know it’s been a realllyy long time since I’ve written anything and I genuinely apologize for that. I’ve been in a really dark slump lately and haven’t been motivated at all. But I’m trying my best to get back into writing and making you all happy. Therefore, I’m writing a Spider-Man Homecoming imagine because how can you not love Peter Parker? Anyways, I hope you enjoy. :)
Side Note: I wrote this so sad that I was crying while typing it.
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You had transferred schools’ three times now, your father was always traveling because of his job, meaning your whole family had to travel with him.
You didn’t mind the traveling part, however the transferring of schools’ that you did mind.
You hated being the new kid at school, you were always the topic of the day until everyone got used to you being there.
Everyone would stare and talk about you behind your back, some would be nice and some not so nice.
You had to admit, you weren’t the best at making friends, you were more of a loner, an awkward person that didn’t socialize with others very well, you were extremely shy.
That is till you met your dream team of friends.
You were once again traveling, this time to New York, and attending to Midtown High School.
You assumed it was going to be like the rest of the times you transferred, everyone would stare and look at you and talk about you.
But this was different, someone actually noticed you, someone actually talked to you.
It was during lunch, you saw a girl and two guys sitting at a table by themselves, you figured they wouldn’t mind you sitting there along with them, so you did.
This intrigued them all, they had never seen you before.
“Hey, quiet one, who are you?” The girl asked, making you snap your head in her direction.
You looked around at first, before pointing a finger at yourself as if to ask ‘are you talking to me?’ which made her nod.
You swallowed nervously, not used to having to speak.
“I uh.. My name is Y/N, I just moved here.” You gave a shy smile, which only made the girl nod in curiosity.
“I see.. Well my name is Michelle, but you can call me MJ.” She smiled slightly, going back to her book.
You nodded, before glancing at the two boys who were staring at you.
You raised an eyebrow, making them snap back into reality and try to hide the fact they were looking at you.
You rolled your eyes playfully, making them smile.
“I know Michelle just asked you your name, but can you tell us again?” The brunette asked, making you even more nervous.
“It’s Y/N.” You smiled slightly, messing with the ends of your hair.
“Nice to meet you, I’m Peter and this is Ned.” He smiled, as Ned waved a friendly hello at you.
You laughed quietly, waving back.
“So, how’s your first day going?” Peter asked, making you nearly choke on your water.
You were confused as to why they were still talking to you, so this threw you off guard and into complete embarrassment.
“It’s uh.. going as it usually does?” You spoke more as a question than an answer.
“Do you transfer a lot?” Ned asked, making you nod sadly.
“My third time.” You shrugged, letting out a small sigh.
They both nodded understandingly, and soon before you knew it, you all became best friends.
You’ll always remember that day in the cafeteria, the first day you actually made friends.
Now it was a normal routine to have lunch with all of them, talk about whatever tests or labs that you all had coming up.
However, the only thing coming up was homecoming.
Over the past few months you’d been at Midtown High, you started developing feelings for your best friend Peter.
You didn’t know how it happened, but it just did and it scared you.
“We should probably stop looking before it gets creepy.” You heard Peter tell Ned as they were off staring at Liz Allen.
The girl of Peter’s dreams.
A girl that wasn’t you.
You knew about Peter’s love for Liz, he made it extremely obvious.
You did your best to not show how much it bothered you, but it started to push you to your limits.
He would talk about her outfit, or her hair, or just her in general whenever he could.
And it killed you.
Michelle soon figured out your secret, that you liked Peter, she promised she wouldn’t tell, but she knew how much it killed you to see him chase after a different girl.
“So, I want to ask Liz to homecoming but I don’t know how, she probably already has a date, why would she even go with me-” Peter rambled, but Ned cut him off.
“Dude, chill, just ask her.” He slapped his hand on Peter’s shoulder, making him blink a few times.
You just sat there, quietly listening to it all.
“Y/N, what do you think I should do? You’re a girl, what do you like?” Peter questioned, sitting down in a chair in front of you.
You bit your lip before thinking.
“Okay.. If you were to say, as an example as me to homecoming, I’d like it if you made a cheesy sign and have flowers asking me.” You nodded, before looking back at Peter.
You both locked eye contact for a moment, and you could have sworn something happened in those few seconds.
But it was soon ripped away as Peter clapped his hands, telling you how brilliant you were.
You gave a fake smile, wishing it would be for you instead.
There were only two days left till homecoming, Peter still hadn’t asked Liz to homecoming, something about wanting it to be perfect.
You had hit your breaking point, you were done being around him when all he did was talk about Liz.
You decided to distance yourself from him and Ned those next few days.
Your headphones plugged into your ears that way you could avoid them if they talked to you.
You even started sitting down with Michelle rather than with them at lunch.
At first they both thought you were just being nice and wanted to sit with her, but then as it became more frequent they got curious as to why you had been avoiding them.
If only they really knew the truth.
The day of homecoming soon arrived, you had decided against going, not wanting to see Peter and Liz dance together.
Michelle tried to convince you to go with her, but even she knew you wouldn’t have fun.
You had avoided Peter and Ned for three days now, you could tell they were getting annoyed with you, but you didn’t care.
You were laying on the couch, watching Netflix with an ice cream tub in your lap.
You weren’t going to lie, you wished you were at homecoming, you hated being at home, but you couldn’t afford seeing someone you liked so much to be with someone else.
You were about to take a spoonful of ice cream when you heard a knock at your door.
You huffed, getting up and heading to the door, only to reveal Peter standing before you.
“Y/N, we need to talk.” He spoke, frustration evident in his voice.
You let him in, confusion displaced on your face.
“Okay, talk.” You crossed your arms, looking at him.
He was pacing back and forth, making you even more confused.
“Why have you been avoiding me?” He blurted out, making your eyes widened a bit.
“I-I haven’t.. I mean.. What are you talking about?” You stammered, making him glare at you.
“You know what I’m talking about, for the past three days you haven’t been talking to me, listening to me, even eating lunch with me.” He was counting off everything, and it was all true.
You looked around the apartment, refusing to look at Peter.
“What did I do?” He questioned, his voice cracking which made you look at him instantly.
He looked like he was about to cry, breaking your heart instantly.
“You love someone else.” You whispered, tears threatening to fall.
Peter looked at you confused at first, before realization hit him.
“Y/N, when we first met, I thought that I told you we’re friends and nothing more!” He closed his eyes, speaking loudly which made you swallow nervously.
“I didn’t mean to.. I-I tried not to.. I-I” You stammered, a tear slipping down your cheek.
Peter just stood there, unsure of what to say or do.
You were pleading he’d say something or do something, just something to make everything okay again.
“I think I’m going to go. I have to meet Liz for homecoming.” He sighed, refusing to look at you before walking out the door.
It was a moment like this that you never felt so low.
Your heart was breaking, your sobbing was becoming uncontrollable, and you had nobody to lean on.
She hides away, like a ghost,
Does she know that we bleed the same?
Don't wanna cry but I break that way.
You wanted to call Michelle, but you didn't want to ruin her homecoming.
You wanted to call Ned, to tell him everything, and by everything you meant everything.
But mainly you wanted to call Peter, to explain everything.
But every time you picked up your phone, you remembered the way he was before he left.
He was upset with you, for liking him.
And that upset you too.
You knew you shouldn't have fallen for him, but it just happened.
You couldn't take being trapped in your apartment, so you decided to go for a walk.
You grabbed your jacket, heading outside.
It was a bit chilly, but you didn't mind.
You needed to clear your mind, mainly to get Peter off your mind.
You figured he was at the dance right now, with Liz, Ned, and Michelle, dancing and having fun.
You felt another tear slip down your cheek, you looked miserable, anyone could see that clear as day.
What you didn't know though was that Peter decided to not go with Liz, he had arrived at the dance with her, but told her he had to go, and everyone knew why.
Because of you.
It's always been you.
He rushed back as quick as he could to your apartment, but felt his heart drop when you didn't answer.
It was times like this that he liked being Spider-Man, he climbed through your window to see you really weren't there, creating him to panic.
Did you run away?
Did you run away?
I don't need to know if you ran away,
If you ran away,
Come back home,
Just come home.
Peter was out looking for you, he knew that in certain times you went on walks, but what made him nervous was that it was at night, and it was his fault you were out there.
He flew all over the streets, until he spotted you.
I got fear, oh, in my blood,
She was carried up into the clouds,
High above.
He rushed down to you, you had been hit by a drunk driver, Peter never felt worse in his entire life.
His heart dropped to his stomach, his eyes watering behind the mask.
"Y/N, hey, wake up, come on, please." He begged, holding your face in his hands.
He begged, pleading for you to wake up and tell him what an idiot he was for not seeing how much you liked him sooner.
He wanted to hear you laugh, he wanted to see your shy smile you always gave him.
You opened your eyes for a brief second, seeing a red blur, you could hear mumbling but it was faint.
You could barely recognize the voice as Peter, which only made you smile just thinking about him.
Peter was doing his best to keep you awake, moving a piece of your hair out of your face.
"Y/N, don't close your eyes, do you hear me? Don't close your eyes." He pleaded, but he knew he was losing an ending battle.
You did your best to keep them open, but your eyes slowly fell shut, one last tear slipping down your cheek.
You laid there, limp, making Peter scream in anger and sadness.
He lost the one true person who genuinely cared for him, and he blamed himself for it.
If he had only stayed there with you and talked it out, this wouldn't have happened.
If he had just listened to you, or paid more attention to how you acted around him this all could have been prevented.
But it was too late.
Peter didn't even care at this point, he ripped off his mask, pulling you into his arms, angry sobs escaping from his mouth.
That was a day Peter would remember forever, something he could never forget, the day his true love died in his arms.
Cold Bones.
Yeah, that's my love,
She hides away, like a ghost.
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neonblossom8 · 7 years
Text
Just A Little Explanation
Ok! Hey guys! So I wrote this as a continuation of the lovely @justwritingscibbles fan-fics called Just a Little Anger and Just A Little Evil. Please, please go check her out and read those fanfics before reading this one! Not only will it be easier to understand but her writing is amazing and it will bless your life! Alright! Here we go! (P.s, I changed it to present tense just cause it seemed to flow a bit more the way I wanted it to) I really hope you enjoy it! Please let me know if you want another section! - - - That night you feel as if your body was torn apart from the inside out. Absolutely everything hurts, even as you lie still on the couch. Most of the pain emanates from the gash across your stomach, which Anti still hasn’t explained; sure, the image of bloodied shards of glass scattered across the grocery store bathroom gives you an idea, but you still can’t put together anything between that major headache and waking up exhausted in Anti’s arms.
It’s still surprising that the two of you weren’t charged with destruction of property with all of the chaos you left in your wake. The manager seemed furious when he was called to the scene, but you also know how good Anti is at manipulation… On second thought, you know exactly how you got out of that mess.
But another mystery rises to the front of your mind.
What was Anti talking about earlier? He had said something like, “I won’t let her take you again.”
A sharp pain snaps you from your thoughts.
You shift your head to look over to where Anti sits on the ground. He is at your side, his eyes closed and his eyebrows furrowed in concentration as his hands hover above your wound glowing with a warm green light.
He had told you earlier to “Stay as relaxed as possible" even though “it may hurt.”
You sigh and allow your eyes to slide up his arms. His cuts are already healed from a few hours ago but the blood still stains his torn shirt.
He opens his eyes, as if feeling your stare and turns his attention to you. His emerald eyes are soft but there is no way he could hide his worry in them, not even with a smile.
“Hey, how are you feeling, babe?” He inquires gently as he moves his hands to yours and runs his thumbs gently over your knuckles. You wince as you suck in a breath.
“I feel…like shit. What the hell happened to me? Just tell me already.”
Your voice is frail but you manage to keep some of your conviction. Not knowing was getting annoying, and the longer he kept it to himself, the more anxiety it gave you.
The corners of his lips fall slightly but he continues to caress your hands while he replies, “I’ll tell you after the healing process is done, alright?” A brief moment of relief washes over you. “As of right now, I really need you to stay as still as possible. Like I said before, this is gonna hurt, a lot, but only for a minute. The damage isn’t too bad but it’s bad enough.“
You nod and roll your head back against the pillow and try and steady your breathing. Anti’s hands release yours and hover over your wound again.
“Are you ready?” He asks, shutting his eyes once again.
“I’m guessing I have to be, so yes.”
You exhale and watch as his hands radiate a visible energy, bathing the both of you and the surrounding furniture in a luminous neon green light.
You gasp at the searing pain that starts at the edges of the gash and grows in intensity as the skin begins to pull together. You choke back a scream and spots gather in your eyes, a byproduct of the restraint it takes not to writhe in agony.
“I’m sorry, Y/N. We’re halfway there.” His voice sounds distant as another rings in your ears, talking over him.
“Let the pain consume you Y/N.”
The voice pierces your mind, making you feel as though your skull was being cracked open.
“Just give into me, I can help you, I can take it all away. Just fall back into the darkness.”
The pain and confusion is too much to bare any longer and a scream rips from your throat.
“I’m so sorry, Y/N…” Anti’s voice starts to penetrate through the chaos, “just 10 more seconds, you can hold on.”
The voice in your head fades, but you can make out one last sentence, “That’s right, scream.”
A cold shock runs through you as those words ache in your mind, but soon enough you feel Anti’s light dim to a peaceful glow and the pain you had disperses into warmth, exhaustion and relief.
-
Your breaths are labored and sweat runs down your forehead. Anti slowly brings his hand to your face to brush away the hair that was sticking to you.
“There,” he says, fingers grazing your skin, “You’re all patched up, let’s get you to b…” You sit up quickly, ignoring the dizziness that ensues, “Oh no, you’re not gonna send me to bed and get outa telling me what the hell happened today!” Your voice is shaking from the intensity of what your body just went through, but you’re too frustrated to care. You feel a small twinge in the back of your head when you think about that voice…what was that? Your glare grows weak and you transfer your gaze to your hands lying in your lap.
“Anti, I’m scared.” He opens his mouth to say something, but you continue on, “When you were healing me, my head hurt… bad. It was almost exactly as it had been back in the isle at the grocery store before I blacked out.”
Anti’s eyes narrow. It’s clear that he’s listening intently.
“I would’ve thought it was just a part of the pain you were saying I was going to feel during the process,” you continue, “but I…I heard a voice. It wasn’t my voice. It was telling me to give into the pain and,” your voice falters, “to fall back into darkness.”
Tears well in your eyes as you look up at Anti, pleading for confirmation that you weren’t going insane. His face is almost too calm. It almost upsets you that he isn’t reacting. 
But then you see his eyes.
They’re sparking with animosity and his hands, clenched into fists, shiver and glitch.
“Anti…please…tell me what’s happening to me.”
Anti shakes his head and inhales deeply.
The glitching stops just as he’s opening his mouth to speak.
“I’m going to try and explain this in the best way I can, Y/N. Just know, I will fix this.” He pauses and waits for your nod. “Ok. You may not fully understand what I am, but you know what happened. You know I gained control over your friend Sean…how I’m not him, but I live in and through his body.”
Your eyes remain locked on his as you try to ignore the throbbing ache in your heart when he says his actual name. You haven’t heard it in so long; you see his face and hear his voice everyday, but you’re just so used to how he’s changed into Anti that you forgot he was once completely human…
You try to push the memory out of your mind and concentrate on what he is saying but it’s hard to understand where he’s going with this.
“There are more, entities, like me. Constantly searching for a host body easy enough for them to overpower. Y/N…” his words slowed down. “One has found you and has begun to weave itself into your being. It was strong enough to gain full control today.” Your eyes widen in horror. “it hurt you…to get to me.”
Your mind goes blank at first, and then fills with endless questions.
“How did it get inside me? Why me? What does it want with you?”
“It found you while you were weak. Those few rough days at work made you an easy emotional target. Entities like us thrive on anger, pain and sadness. Remember how you got so fed up you punched your manager in the face and you said that you basically blacked out as you did it? That was it, it was her influencing your mind and blinding you with fury.”
This is all so much more than you expected. All you can do is blink and wait for what he has to say next.
“While she had your body, she spoke with me. She brought up something I thought I had only said to you.” He paused, “Remember that same night you had gotten fired and your rage had fueled my lust for you? Well, after we had..finished, I had half joked saying something like ‘I hope you don’t become fully dark. But if you did, you’d definitely get more of this.’ I’m guessing she took that as an invitation. She saw it as me acknowledging her power and therefore saw it as if my lust was for her. Now she craves that feeling and is more than willing to drown you in darkness to get it again.”
Anti watches you slowly process this.
Your face doesn’t move and your voice comes out as a whisper as tears stain your cheeks, “Am…am I going to lose myself…like Seán?” - - - Again, this is just my own continuation of what @justwritingscibbles has started. I was merely inspired by her wonderful writing and I did ask her permission to create this before-hand! Thank you all so so much for reading!
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