#i dont deserve friends | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

klutzykelzy · 4 months

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i was venting about being ghosted by people in my life who said they were my friends (to my “best friend”) & this was the response i got…

it. broke. me.

i’ve decided to take a break from my main social media for now… in fear that everyone feels this way about me. i have one person on here that i message regularly, so thankfully that’s only one person to overwhelm with my existence.

i chose to move to tumblr so i can “post to the void.”

i’m sorry… i just try to be friendly…

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y4nhe4rt · 6 months

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I think I'm an asshole for this but I didn't mean it in that way. I can't word my thoughts correctly and they know this and yet they haven't responded to me. God why can't I word shit properly and not make myself look like an asshole in the process?!?!

#im stupid #i dont deserve friends #how can i relearn being better at comforting others??#i want to be better #but they are making it hard to do so

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caloriecounter-ibarelyknowher · 17 days

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my friend stayed at my house for 2 nights. the most we touched was when I hugged her goodbye at the end.

we physically touched two other times in the whole 3 days.

I don't deserve friends.

no wonder people don't like me

#loneliness #lonely #friendship #im pathetic #im stupid #i dont deserve friends

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unstabull · 9 months

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tfw everyone of your old aquantences stopped messaging back and youre the last one to have message all of them, so you go into chat and delete those old messages because it's obvious no one wants to talk to you and you need to get the fuck over it because you're better off alone.

#bpd #quiet bpd #actually mentally ill #im so pathetic #got my fee fees hurt boohoo #i deserve to be alone #i dont deserve friends

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keynladeramblezone · 1 year

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Well tome to kill myself haha

#why do i keep doing this #i dont deserve friends

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castrotophic · 2 months

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sorry naka choko is actually so funny im dying... margot is like 'hey will lets have sex' and hes like '🤨 lesbian??' and shes like its fine. and then they have sex but the way theyre both so like meh about it is killing me. will is unbuttoning his shirt like 😒😒 i guess if theres nothing else to do😒

#also side not but watching hannibal and alana together is genuinely upsetting for me like i actually hate her so much rn #i love will and margot together they deserve to be best friends forever #i also cant take margots brother seriously #he literally sounds like a clown its crazy how is he supposed to be like #evil???#i dont buy it he sounds like a court jester #hannibal #nbc hannibal #hannigram #naka choko

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gunsatthaphan · 8 months

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#big bestie boyfie energy

#only friends #only friends series #only friends ep2 #ofts #firstkhao #sanray #sand x ray #first kanaphan #khaotung thanawat #gmmtv #thai bl #bl drama #ray really met him and was like can I rent you as my boyfie #i respect that #he deserves it #dljhgkfd #you dont understand how much they mean to me

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juststarsandthemoon · 2 years

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Look at the map my friend made at our server

#irl friends #lights on #minecraft #map making #like how the fuck #thats amazign #hes so cool #i seriously appreciate him so much #hes such a good friend #i dont know if i deserve him #the ones everyone liked

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naofaun · 6 months

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It's normal to feel jealous. In friendships, relationships, whatever. Jealousy is a very normal, very human emotion and most likely, it's telling you that a need of yours isn't being met. But sometimes jealousy just shows up randomly and makes itself known for no reason. Maybe you have the happiest relationship possible and you still get jealous. Maybe all of your needs, and more, are being met. That's okay.

Never be ashamed of jealousy. Never be ashamed of anger or sadness or fear. These emotions are not “bad”, there is no such thing as bad emotions. You cannot be completely free of them, and they do not inherently mean you or the other person(s) is abusive.

Listen to what your mind is telling you. If you're jealous every single time your friend hangs out with someone that's not you; why? Are you scared of your friend liking the person more than you? Are you scared that you're not worthy of your friend's time and energy? Are you scared that maybe the other person secretly hates you and plans to turn your friend against you?

Whatever it is, its okay. Don't listen to people telling you that “non-abusers don't get jealous”. Because they do. It's just about how they handle the jealousy. If you listen to your body and figure out the underlying fear or insecurity, you're already doing way more than most.

Sometimes you can talk to your friend about that fear. Sometimes you can explain to them that you feel afraid when they hang out with other people because you're insecure. Do not ever make it out to be their problem, like something they should fix. They can understand and do their best to help you, but do not ever demand or even let them drop these friends for you. Unless the friends are genuinely awful people (which you should then have an entirely different conversation about), it is your friend's right to keep them as friends.

But maybe you can come to a compromise. Maybe when your friend is done hanging out with someone, they can tell you about what they did. Maybe instead of an obligation, its like a “oh my god I had so much fun and I want to tell someone about it” thing. They get to talk about how much fun they had to someone that cares, and you get to know that these other people didn't try to turn your friend against you, or whatever your fear may have been.

Anyway, my overall point is; jealousy is okay and normal. It usually covers some sort of insecurity or fear, like how anger can cover sadness or hurt. It doesn't matter how often you feel jealous - I'm a very very jealous person but I have coping mechanisms and ways to help me when I get jealous so that I don't hurt the person I'm jealous of. I will always suggest mental health assistance like therapy or medication if it's available, but sometimes, its more about the way you treat your feelings and the communication you have with your friends.

#obviously everyone is different #journaling my feelings and telling myself that my friends are so awesome that they deserve other friends #will not help every single person that gets jealous #but as a polyamorous person who has bpd and forms fps on my partners most often #ive learned how to cope with my jealousy without becoming overbearing and mean #it took me nearly my entire teenage life and im still nowhere near perfection #this isnt an instant process and im never going to stop feeling jealous #but i can recognize when im jealous and why and i can work on feeling better about it #{ ♡ } nao : misc . . .#jealousy #jealous #relationships #relationship troubles #bpd #borderline personality disorder #npd #narcassistic personality disorder #i dont know how common jealousy is in npd but it sure affects me a lot so #umm #mental illness #mental health #mental health advice #mental health support #bpd help #bpd support

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doodlehorseafternoon · 6 months

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You know, we talk about horses being these big majestic creatures; and they are. They're also sometimes really dumb and uncoordinated. Sometimes afraid of the smallest things. Sometimes oblivious to their own size and so very dangerous

And sometimes...

... mine tunes her movements so carefully to mine that it's like we're dancing without any words said. She always knows where I'm at and keeps me in the safest place, even though I am so small compared to her. Yesterday, she would pause her steps as I did, almost hovering in place to make sure she stayed with me

And I think such a big animal being so very careful with me is why I will be in awe of the relationship we can have with horses

#horse #equine #horses #equestrian #horses of tumblr #my horse #gentle soul #I dont deserve her #friendship with animals #horses are friends

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jinstronaut · 4 days

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i still orbit you, and nothing’s changed, but if there’s no name to love, everything has changed. (cr. namuspromised, lyric translation doolsetbangtan)

happy birthday @cordiallyfuturedwight 💜💜💜

#bts #btsedit #btsgif #dailybts #btsdaily #jin #seokjin #kim seokjin #kim taehyung #jung hoseok #min yoongi #dailybangtan #userbangtan #userdimple #usersan #heyryen #userpat #tuserandi #raplineuser #annietrack #userkelli #usersky #***#dont mind me reposting this bc tumblr hates me BUT HAPPY BIRHTDAY KAYLA !!!!!!!!!!!!!!! im typing this as im getting ready for work teehee #anyways hi ily idk how u feel abt this song but the vibe felt right and also um Look At Them u kno. esp hobi what the fuck hes so !!!!! OK #ANYWAYS THIS IS ABT YOU. and ILY !!!! idk what i did to deserve ur support and kindness and friendship but i am so thankful that you #decided you wanted to keep me around bc truly u are so amazing and i hold you so close to my heart. u are one of a kind. and im so lucky #to call you a friend. you are so important to me !!!! and i hope u have the best day ever !!!! you deserve it !!!!!!#OK I HAVE TO GO TO WORK ILY PLS I WILL GET BETTER AT SHOWING U HOW MUCH ILY I PROMISE ♥♥♥

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luck-of-the-drawings · 3 days

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"I think this is the most inhuman; and human, that I've ever felt.." MUCH CAN HAPPEN IN A YEAR. IN FIVE YEARS. A DECADE. imagine how much can happen in a century. just ONE (1). How will you grow? what phases do you find? even in 5 years, you will find patterns.

#jrwi fanart #jrwi show #jrwi suckening #jrwi suckening spoilers #jrwi the suckening #arthur bennett #HEY SO THE REALLY FUNNY THING THAT THE CHARACTER DID THAT SEEMED RLY SILLY N GOOFY IN THE MOMENT?#LIKE THE WHIPLASH BETWEEN SERIOUS N SILLY ALMOST PISSED YOU OFF? WHAT IF I FOUND A WAY TO MAKE YOU SAD ABOUT IT #this was meant to be a scribble that would be a bigger part of a bigger page.might leave it on that page.#but still. bc o that i nearly posted it onto my wacky side blog.BUT NAYY I SPENT TOO MUCH TIME N ENERGY N YOU GOTTA SEE IT #ARTHUR BENNETT DRIVES ME CRAZY. I FEEL LIKE ITS ODD FOR HIM TO BE SO TECHNOLOGICALLY OUT OF TOUCH #WHERE HAS HE BEEN. HAS HE BEEN IN WAR? IS THAT WHERE MAGNUS CAME FROM? WHERE WAS HE WHEN HE WAS WITH EDWARDS CREW?#ARTHURRR I HAVE QUESTIONS ARTTHUUURR!! HEY CAN I ALSO ASK; WHAT THE FUCK HAVE YOU BECOME #DO YOU THINK HE HAD ANY IDEA HE WOULD VEER CLOSER AND CLOSER TO THE MONSTER HE DESPISES. ALL BC HE DESERVES IT. OR WATEVER #HE FASCINATES ME SO MUCH. TO LOOK AT THE STONE COLD STOIC FOOL FROM THE START OF THE SHOW #AND TO FIND OUT THAT HE USED TO BE A BAD BOY.. A DELINQUENT... A LIL PRANKSTER.... MY GODDD THATS ADORABLE #I WOULD LOVE TO KNOW MORE.... BUT I DOUBT THE LAST EPISODE IS GONNA ANSWER THOSE QUESTIONS..i love arthur bennett so much....#AS FOR THE ART!! i mostly used the fire alpaca watercolor brush. tbh im not a brush guy. anti aliased default pen tends to be my main game #but LATELY IM SQQQUIRMIN OUT OF AN ARTBLOCK so expirimenting like this is helping #DONT LOOK TOO HARD AT IT!! im still proud tho. colors are fun :3 im also very proud of the backgrounds #I LOVE THE CARTOON THING where the background looks all fancy n painted but the characters are solid colors #what else can i ramble abt. OH YEAH. i looked up the bikes to make sure they were time accurate tehehehe. 1913 to 2012.#almost a century apart!! isnt that neat? ALSO FUUUCK CAN I JUST MAKE A QUICK CONFESSION. DOWN HERE IN MY TAGS.#only the strongest can read my tags anwyay. SO I REALIZED WHY I LOVE ARTHUR SO MUCH. TIME IS A FLAT CIRCLE #while arthur is a Stoic and Cool vampire w a knack for being playful/silly; who alsos been alive fora century thus witnessing HORRORs #THERE HAPPENS TO BE A ROBOT FROM A BAND W A TITANIUM ALLOY SPINAL COLLUMN #WHOS A Stoic and Cool ROBOT w a knack for being playful/silly; who alsos been alive fora century thus witnessing HORRORS #the fuckkkiiinnngggnn The Spine from steam powered giraffe. WHATEVER. i cant escape from my heart. i guess.#i think The Spine and Arthur could be friends. Arthur saw the band perform back when they were the Steam Man Band #EDIT: WOOPS I DIDNT REALIZE THIS WOULD END UP IN THE SPG TAG. HI GUYS DIDNT KNOW U WERE STILL ALIVE SORREE 4 THE CROSS CONTAMINATION

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popponn · 5 months

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it rains here. (nanami kento x reader)

summary: there was no snow to fall here and nanami kento still felt like he was in a dream.

notes: i wanted to cuddle nanami kento that's the only one constant in this fix it fic. also there is no snow in tropical countries. i used to want snowy dec, but i think nanami will take comfort in it and perhaps it's okay now. this is a fluff, but there is an undertone of effect of trauma on nanami as this is jjk. nothing explicit, but just a heads up. written with f!reader in mind, could be read as gn.

as the rain fall in december, it dawned upon nanami kento that he was in a very different new place already.

"kento, do you hear me?" a hand, followed closely by your voice, gently pulled him back to where he was. slowly turning his head, finding you leaning on his hand whilst wrapping both of yours around it, once again, it became hard for him to realize that it was not a dream.

it was near the kuantan beach, it was his books stacked neatly beside him, it was him sitting on a foreign hotel sofa facing the cityscape, and it was you who felt as familiar as a long-forgotten home.

"kento?"

the winter was supposed to be approaching, but there was no snow.

but there would be no snow here, would it? in the same way that there would be no curses dragging him out into a battlefield, away from your hands.

"kento, you are worrying me now," you started to frown—kento noted how seeing it in such a setting here felt pleasant, "are you lacking sleep? ah, you read too much last night didn't you!"

"i did not. please do not push such accusation to me," kento replied to you blandly and curtly. contrary to his tone, however, he shifted and heaved out a short sigh the moment he managed to get you closer to his side. a hand on your hip as he rested his head on the cushion, leaning back right next to yours.

it felt like a dream. it really felt like one.

this was too nice.

it almost felt like he was running out of time—

right beside him, you too leaned towards him even further. "then why are you spacing out so much?" you asked, before adding reprimandingly, "just so you know if it really is because you lost track of time reading, we are setting alarm."

"that is too much," he said, closing his eyes.

"is it now, mr. 'treat holiday like an overwork'?"

"i do not treat it like that. i hate overwork."

"then you should be able to relax and take time here. we still have many days left, no need to rush through those books," you huffed. kento couldn't see it, but he could imagine how you puffed out your chest.

"it seems that you have become a little bit more strict since we arrived here," kento noted, sleepiness seeping into his voice.

"of course. i have to keep you healthy in case you overdo it on this vacation!" a hand reached out to his shoulder, messaging it lightly before it crawled up to rest on the back of his neck.

it felt real.

it felt so real—the feeling of your skin, the weight, and warmth of it—and yet he—

kento sighed, not knowing what else to say. "i see."

then, feeling the heaviness weighted down even further behind his eyes, kento gently called your name.

humming, you replied to him. "what is it?"

"i will be sleeping for a bit. please do wake me up in a few minutes."

"eh? in this position? you will get a sore neck, you know?"

kento knew you were right. however, being like this—exactly like this, with you, with everything, with the sound of rain from outside of the window—it was hard for him to resist. after all, once a man got a taste of their dream, it would be hard for them not to soak in it.

"it wouldn't be a problem. i have had worse."

"...so this is your vacation mode, huh?" you teasingly mused. "but, okay, go to sleep. i will wake you up later."

nanami kento still thought this was a dream. it was too nice for it not to be.

but with your fingers tangling with his hair, with the slight gentle tug and company you offered him, with the smell of the book and unfamiliar room, and everything as it was—

"good night, kento. let's take a walk on the beach later, okay?"

there was no snow to fall here and nanami kento still felt like he was in a dream.

but he was happy, and it was enough.

#jjk imagines #jjk x reader #nanami kento #nanami x reader #nanami kento x reader #jujutsu kaisen #jujutsu kaisen imagines #jujutsu kaisen x reader #another one of i dont really go here much but #a good man is a good man who deserves a soft epilogue. when he says work is shi he got my heart and yeah i wanna be his wife #inspired by a fic from a certain friend (ily<3). but published now due to emotions and i need time to accept things. anyway.#scheduled check later

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the-bi-fangirl-biatch · 6 months

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the entire season they've shown sylvie perpetually being okay to just walk away from the fray and getting no consequences whatsoever. which would be ok since she doesn't rlly care about them like loki does. but in the end she just moves on so fast after she watched loki isolate himself and go off JUST to fix her mistake.......

meanwhile mobius is there, frozen in that time, left behind by the person he's an "expert" on not only bc of his job but bc of their friendship, him quitting the job that was his entire life, because loki has left and his previous purpose didn't have loki anymore

it's just fucked up how everyone else got their happy endings (good for them) except for loki and mobius. they're apart, separated once again, looking miserable in their last shots. just like last season.

#hhnnggg i dont hate sylvie i think she deserves peace and to rest #but the fact that loki had to sacrifice everything he's work on (his friends. his changing. the love of his life) just to fix HER mistake #marvel why the hell do you hate loki huh why do you keep making him lose everything #idc sure his arc has changed but what does he get? what's his reward? doesn't he deserve something too in the end? yes he fucking does #loki: i dont want a throne i want my friends back #writers: ok here's a throne where you're lonely asf and are at risk to end up like HWR who's been isolated for so long too #also fuck your friends and your lover #LIKE?!?!?!?!?!?!?#(if anyone wants to chat i beg of you please dont hesitate)#tag talk #loki tv show #loki tv series #loki tv #loki season 2 #loki series #loki show #loki season two #lokius #mobius x loki #loki x mobius #anti sylki #not really anti HER but it was so unfair

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moeblob · 8 months

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I spent 3 hours replying to this anon simply to say "everyone gets a Vaporeon (except Sylvain)".

#dimitri alexandre blaiddyd #bernadetta von varley #marianne von edmund #ferdinand von aegir #sylvain jose gautier #fe three houses #pkmn #long post #i would literally explain why everyone fits with vaporeon (except sylvain) but that would take too much time to draw #however there are super valid reasons i could list for why everyone deserves a vaporeon (except sylvain)#also fun fact - ferdinand would 100% go out of his way to get bernadetta that shiny eevee to be a shiny vaporeon #she deserves a purple helper and friend and he will make sure she gets that #you cannot tell me ferdinand von aegir wouldnt go the extra mile because he absolutely would #also i provided a why so i dont want anyone to argue with these picks because i know im right #and i can provide reasons for everyone (except sylvain) to have a vaporeon #thank you its dinner time bye please appreciate this @ you anon i spent so long on this post

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mishapen-dear · 5 months

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OH. okay so normally i dont touch discourse with a 20 ft pole, but this has been niggling at my brain tonight and i finally realized why

the people who are mad at qbbh for the memory loss and “dodging consequences” dont understand that he doesnt want to dodge consequences. Like they cant know that, they werent focused on him when he was literally feeding himself to the soul vultures and planning his eventual imprisonment and also. The Many Many Many hints he made towards suicide/sacrifice/Just Fucking Dying.

ccbbh is a subtle roleplayer, he’s been building this shit up for two whole months- it was day FIVE of the eggs going missing that he resolved to do whatever it took (hurting his friends) to get the eggs back. It was day three that he followed in dapper’s footsteps and started feeding himself to the soul vultures (and gaining a Massive headwound beneath his hood in the process- you can only see it if you go on namemc and remove the layers). He’s got impaired judgement. Even the memory issues arent a new thing- i cant remember exactly when they started, but one of the first big moments i remmeber was september 30th where he spent an hour falling into a delusional frenzy searching his base for cameras that he forgot he asked aypierre to plant.

The super murder of purgatory and the memory loss afterwards probably all feels very sudden for people who havent been following his story, but as someone who has been- all of this has been true to character. The only cheap swings he’s made have been combat-based in purgatory, and even the motive for those was built up in rp.

People are calling for consequences, but he has alrwady been experiencing self-inflicted consequences for months. The blue on his usual outfit is blood. This recent memory loss isnt a restart to get away with the atrocities - it is yet another consequence of his egg-protecting complexes and the ways he punishes himself for failing them.

he is NOT a moral character. he’s a demon hiding in plain site. he has eaten people. he has killed people. he understands the cruelty of his actions, and the consequences of them for the loved ones of his victims. but it matters when that harm is being done to his loved ones. he’ll still do it, because he will do anything for the eggs, but it matters, and that means that he has already started the process of self-inflicting those much-demanded consequences

#anyone who isnt a qbbh makn please extend some sympathy for us. our guy is being misunderstood again #so if people seem twitchier than usual that probbaly plays a factor #but if it ever gets annoying be rest assured he is doing his very best to train us in media literacy #and also the block and filter buttons are your friends #and qbbh mains join me in the genuinely freeing revelation that they have just. strawmanned him yet again #i feel like youve gotta be able to understand a character to truly hate them #and no one (not even us oh my fucking god) really understand him #and thus the vitrol means nothing and i am free of all woes #anyway tho genuinely if you want to know more about this cube im willing to talk about him #i have Credentials #one of my posts was dono’d to the cc almost word for word and he called me a know it all #qsmp #qsmp badboyhalo #discourse #<- mentioned #an interestinf discussion could be had too about xyz character Deserving xyz thing #and really people in general Deserving xyz thing #but i think that is a wasp nest i dont know enough about to join swatting #i ngeed. to go to bed

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