#i don’t really even think it’s that bad but i fear i’ve actually just grown immune to my specific flavor of Fucked-Up™️
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of course i finally write something for the first time in nearly two months and it’s the most fucked-up, self-indulgent thing i’ve ever written
#Seven.txt#writing stuff#Jimち ASMR#🧷 Matt 🔨#<- making my own tag for Matt bc i am insane#and this fandom is so small that i don’t think there even /is/ a pre-established tag for him anyways???#and it’s not like i’m super eager for this fic to even actually be viewed by anyone who knows who the character is#cause this fic is so self-indulgent and embarrassing i lowkey don’t want it associated with the fandom#lest i be called out for being problematic or smthn. dude i don’t even know anymore#it’s not like Jim himself hasn’t been called out for being *ahem* problematic either tho soooooo#it’s not like strange and potentially problematic is anything new around here anyways#and it’s my mental illness so I get to choose the comfort character to project my destructive desires upon#i don’t really even think it’s that bad but i fear i’ve actually just grown immune to my specific flavor of Fucked-Up™️#and any sane person would look at it and be like… Are You Okay???#and the answer is No!#but like. in a chill way#anyways iiiiit is 4am and i just stayed up all night writing 7k words of something so brutally honest and revealing of my desires#that if i were a wiser man i wouldn’t post it where anyone who finds my online presence can just… read it#but! i am not a wiser man i am a very stupid man who enjoys oversharing on the internet#and it’s fine bc i don’t think hardly anyone’s gonna see it anyways. given the fact that there’s like almost /no/ fandom for this character#it’s so weird writing for a character that’s never been written for before#by anyone aside from his original creator obviously#but i think Jim just fuckin’ improvs a lot of his shit anyways lmao.#I’m Getting Off Topic!!! Time To Shut Up and Hit Post!!!#edit- i just looked and actually looks like there’s one (1) fic written for Matt on AO3 so i am sadly not the first person to write for him#alas#anyways i’ve still gotta do a final edit and get it all drafted up and ready to post on here and AO3#so who knows when it’ll actually be out. but it feels good to be writing again!#now if i could just find a way of doing it that doesn’t require me staying up all night long…
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Hopes And Fears Part Three. (Wally Clark x Reader)
Summary: Y/N’s death is traumatic. So traumatic in fact, she can’t even look at Wally without reliving what happened to her.
Word Count: 2.4k
Gif Not Mine. Requests Are Open!
Warnings: Mature Language
I’ve grown fond of the early mornings whilst stuck at Split River. The first glimpse of the sun shining over the gardens, a warm hue welcoming the day. With no students roaming the halls, all I hear is the quiet sounds of nature. On the odd occasion, I’m even able to spot a rabbit or deer, grazing gently on the acres of freshly trimmed fields surrounding the school buildings.
It’s become a habit of mine, each morning I find myself lounging besides the flowerbeds. Allowing myself to feel each blade of grass that delicately brushes my skin. For a while, I forget that I’m no longer alive. I can simply exist.
It’s not uncommon for Wally to join me. Sprawled on his back, gazing up at the clouds. Pointing out different shapes and imagining different backstories for all of the cloud animals he sees. Besides that, neither of us speak much. Only enjoying one another’s company as we relax in the morning light.
Spending this time has given me the opportunity to process everything. Wally helps me to work through my emotions and thoughts. Nothing ever being too much for him to listen to, though I’m still afraid to divulge everything. I’m sure he can sense that I’m holding back, yet he doesn’t pry. Content to just listen. In all honestly, I truly believe that these moments with Wally have helped me more so than Mr Martin’s support group has. Despite attending every session since my memorial, I consistently leave the group feeling unfulfilled. Unsatisfied. In fact, it doesn’t seem as though the teacher wants us to discuss the past, our lives and our deaths. Only wanting us to focus on the present, the state we are confined to. I find myself struggling with this a lot.
“What do you think you would be doing if you hadn’t died?”
Pushing myself up on my elbows, I look over to Wally, who is resting on his stomach, absentmindedly plucking grass from the ground.
“I was supposed to go to college, play football. Hopefully make it pro, that’s what the plan was anyway.” He tells me, full of confidence yet his tone of voice suggests that’s not the pathway he would’ve chosen for himself.
“What about like outside of a job though?” I pry, the boy has my curiosity heightened. “Like, surely you have other things that you wanted to do?”
His eyes focus in on the pieces of grass that he’s now twisting together in a makeshift sort of chain. Deep in thought, I can see the cogs working in his brain as he tries to think of an answer for me. I’m sure it’s not something he’s necessarily thought of before, following the path that his mom set out for him upon birth.
“You’re gonna laugh, but I always wanted to get married and have a family. I know that times have changed and you lot don’t really believe in marriage and stuff that much anymore but I’m a family guy. Always have been.” He admits, finally looking at me and I see the honesty written across his face. “It just sucks that I’ll never actually get to experience it.”
My heart aches for him. One fatal accident and his entire future was stripped away. Never getting to experience the things he always dreamed of. It breaks heart, knowing what he could have had.
“Wally, I’m so sorry.”
“It’s no big deal, really, I’ve spent the last few decades accepting my fate and it’s not so bad here.” He tells me, a sadness shining in the brown of his eyes, trying his best to cover it up with a soft smile. “What about you? Other than taking over the world with your best friend, what was the plan?”
Giggling slightly as he references Abby’s speech, I start to wonder what my life would’ve looked like. Truthfully, I have no idea. My life revolved around dancing and cheer, other than that I have no clue as to who I am. Up until my death, I didn’t believe I was worthy of love, the one chance I took was with Spencer and look how that turned out.
“I suppose I wanted to leave Split River, Abby wanted to go to New York so I figured I would study there.” I reply, knowing New York was never my dream. I just couldn’t bare to part with her once high school ended. “It would be quite nice to live on a farm. Out in the middle of nowhere, surrounded by animals, I think that would’ve been my dream.”
“Now this makes sense.”
Crossing my legs underneath me to sit up properly, he’s unable to hide the bright smile on his face. Clearly finding some amusement in what I said.
“What makes sense?” I ask, to which he laughs quietly. Pulling a clump of grass out of the ground, I launch it in his direction. “Hey, you dickhead, I didn’t laugh at you, so you can’t laugh at me.”
“No, no. I’m not laughing at you.” Wally speaks through chuckles, rolling on to his back. “It just makes sense now why you like to sit out here.”
His arms are thrown across his face, shielding his eyes from the sun. I can’t help but stare as his muscles flex, admiring the sight in front of me. Following his body, I find myself biting the inside of my cheek as I notice his top has risen up his stomach ever so slightly. Highlighting the small trail of hair that dips below his shorts.
“Did you have a girlfriend?” I blurt out, before I even realise what I’m saying.
Slapping my hand across my mouth, embarrassment floods my body, eyes wide as Wally smiles. Eyebrows raised as he looks over to me. Sly smile making its way on to his face.
“No. No girlfriend. Why?”
“I was just wondering. I mean, star high school quarterback, you must have had girls queuing up for your attention.” I’m able to stop myself before I begin a long-winded rant. Helping to ease at least a tiny amount of my embarrassment.
Wally rolls his eyes at my comment. “Well in that case you must’ve had boys queuing up for your attention. What with being head cheerleader and all.”
“Ha ha. Okay, I know it was a stupid question.”
Fortunately for me, I’m saved from making a fool out of myself even more by the sounds of cars entering the parking lot. In unison, we both turn to face the sound. Observing the students that have started to filter into the building, chatting loudly amongst one another as they do so.
My vision locks in on Spencer and his gang of hooligans. They’re jumping all over one another without a care in the world as they make their way into the school. Trail of awestruck girls following behind in the hopes of garnering the smallest amount of attention from one of the jocks.
If only I was able to tell them what they’re really like. Perhaps they wouldn’t make the same mistake that I made. Perhaps I’d be able to save them from the same fate that I suffered.
“So I was thinking we could have a pool day. I think Charlie would be up for it, maybe not Rhonda, but it could be fun for us all just to chill out. You haven’t really spent much time with anyone else apart from in our sessions with Mr Martin.”
Wally’s words echo around my head though I’m not paying any attention. Despite, no longer being able to see the group that I was fixated on, I’m still closely watching the area that they had just previously been walking through.
Two weeks later and Spencer and his friends still evade justice. Police presence at the school has increased drastically with crime scene investigators cornering off the old toilet block. Maybe I’m impatient, but it feels like they’re getting away with it. Receiving no consequences for their heinous actions.
“Y/N, are you listening?”
Wally’s words finally drag me out of my thoughts and I meet his eyes. “Yeah, pool day, sounds good.”
“And we’re inviting Charlie and Rhonda.” He states, eyebrows raised as he knows I wasn’t truly paying attention to a word he said.
“Oh, no. They’re nice but can we just do it alone? I’m not sure I feel up to doing a whole group thing.”
Wally nods, though his eyes narrow. Sensing there’s something off with me. He’s good at noticing whenever my demeanour changes, or whenever something is bothering me. It’s part of his nature.
“Yeah of course. We should probably head to group first though.” The athlete pushes himself off the floor as he speaks, waiting for me to stand as well which I reluctantly do, not before releasing an annoyed groan. “You know, one of these days, you might actually enjoy the sessions.”
Rolling my eyes, I follow Wally towards the gym. He holds the doors open for me as we enter the building, his small act of chivalry makes me giddy. I make no effort to show this however, politely thanking the boy as I walk through.
“Ah here they are! Took you two long enough.” Charlie jokes as we enter the gym, taking our seats. I sit between Dawn and Rhonda with Wally seating himself between Charlie and Mr Martin.
“No guesses what they’ve been up to.” Rhonda comments, lollipop hanging out the side of her mouth as she does so.
“Thank you Rhonda.” Mr Martin chimes in, stopping the conversation from escalating any further. “So today, I figured we would get to know our newest member. Y/N you’ve been here for a couple of weeks now and we still don’t know too much about you.”
“I’m sure Wally could tell us all about her.” Rhonda remarks under her breath. So quiet, I almost don’t catch it.
“I’m sorry, is there something you want to say?” I snap, my tone harsh and confronting.
She laughs in response, the annoyance on my face evident as I glare at her. Her snarky and sarcastic nature hasn’t proven to be a problem for me, though I think that may be about to change.
“Y/N, tell us about your death. We’re all dying to know what happened. No pun intended.” The teacher interjects, attempting to diffuse the tense situation yet I still feel on edge.
“No thank you.”
“Oh come on Y/N, none of us are going to judge you. You know that.” Charlie tells me, offering me a reassuring smile.
“No, she’d rather just listen to all our trauma. Isn’t that right cherry pop?”
Rhonda’s words strike a chord within me. I’ll admit, the other ghosts have been very open about their deaths with me. All discussing in detail what happened to them to result in this fate. Sure, I haven’t divulged into the details of my death as of yet, but it’s for good reason. Not only am I still trying to process it myself but I don’t want them to look at me any differently nor do I want them to take pity on me when they learn the details.
“Do you have a problem with me or something Rhonda?” I ask, swinging around in my chair so that I can face her directly.
Upon doing so, I take note of how Charlie and Wally are quick to sit up straight. Feeling the anger radiating off me and awaiting any possible confrontation that may be about to occur.
“As a matter of fact, I do.” The girl retorts, crossing her arms over her chest before she continues speaking. “You waltz in here and make no effort with any of us besides Wally. Who, let’s not forget, you made to feel like a piece of shit on your first day after that unreasonable outburst. You listen to all of us recounting our deaths, the most traumatic things that could’ve happened to us and still none of us know what happened to you. It hardly seems fair.”
“Oh, I’m so sorry Rhonda. I’m sorry that i’m still processing what happened to me. I’m sorry that I’m not ready to discuss it with a group of strangers. I am so sorry that I’m not getting over everything as quick as you would like me to.”
My voice is raised as I speak, hurt that she would even think that my choice not to share what happened is a personal attack on the group. No matter how hurt I’m feeling, the anger completely outweighs it. Angry that she can’t see that I’m still struggling and angry that my murderers are still attending this school. Instead of being locked behind bars for the rest of their life, like they deserve to be. Nobody can understand what I am going through and that makes me so astonishingly angry.
“Boo hoo. You’re still processing, we’re all still processing. Not to mention the fact that we’ve barely seen Wally these past couple of weeks because he’s been trailing around after you, trying to make you feel less threatened by him. He’s even taken off that stupid football shirt that he loved so much! I hate to break it to you, but he was here first.” She argues, tears well in my eyes as she mentions Wally. I lock eyes with him and see his downcast expression. Was she right? Was he only spending this time with me to make me feel better and less scared? “You should do everybody a favour and fuck off back to the old toilet block where you came from.”
“Rhonda!” Charlie exclaims, clearly shocked by her words.
“Is that how you really feel Wally?” I ask hesitantly, the dejection evident in my voice.
He opens his mouth to speak, but no words come out. Nodding slightly, I understand completely. Pushing myself out of the chair, nobody speaks as I make my exit from the room.
“Lovely chat.” Rhonda shouts, one last attempt to get a reaction from me. Even as I shove open the doors with an obnoxious slam, I don’t look back.
The entirety of my body feels heavy as I drag myself down the hallways. Nobody comes after me, not even Wally. I feel truly alone, hurt and confused. Death was supposed to be peaceful and yet here I am. Suffering more than I ever did when alive.
•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••
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The Daughter's Return: Part 5
Parting Ways
Part 1 | Part 6 | Table of Contents | Read this on A03
Characters: Ace x reader
WordCount: 3.1k
CW: alcohol, drunk reader, one quick drunken kiss
Whitey’s arm around you made it a little difficult to start the day. You had been awake for thirty minutes now, but you couldn’t bring yourself to move in fear of waking her up. She had been kind enough to let you sleep with her last night, the last thing you wanted to do was interrupt her rest even more.
“Y/N?” Whitey’s groggy voice broke through the silence, and you felt her shift.
“Morning,” you replied. “Sleep well?”
“Surprisingly, yes.” Whitey laughed. “You’d think two people in this tiny bed would make it hard to sleep. But it wasn’t bad. But why’d you end up here anyway?”
“I spilled beer all over my bed.” You had been thinking of a lie since you woke up, and it came effortlessly now.
Whitey gave a laugh at that and sat up in the bed. “Believe it or not, I’m actually really glad that happened.”
“Oh yeah?” you gave her a perplexed look. “Why’s that?”
She gave a nervous laugh and rubbed at her face. It was clear she had something to tell you, but she seemed to be working up the courage to do so.
You sat up, concerned at alert. “Whitey? Everything okay?”
“I was going to tell you,” Whitey said. Her voice was thick, like she might start crying. “I swear I meant to tell you the moment you got back, but things started happening so fast.”
“Whitey, tell me,” you insisted. “What’s wrong?”
“Look, don’t be mad, okay?”
“Whitey. Tell me.”
“I’m getting my own ship,” she said. “Becoming a Subordinate Captain. A few of us are getting our own crews. I’ve got a group of about 20 people.”
Your mouth fell open in shock. You weren’t sure what you expected Whitey to tell you, but you it wasn’t this. The two of you had dreams when you were younger about having your own pirate crew, but you had grown out of those dreams. You had just assumed she had as well.
“When are you leaving?” you asked, your voice barely above a whisper.
Tears welled in her eyes. “Three days. We’re supposed to land on an island with a shipyard, and pops is giving us ships to send us on our way.”
Three days. That was all you had left with her. Your chest ached at the thought of not seeing her every day again. You had missed her the most while you had been in Wano.
“I really want this,” she said. “Need this, even. I’ve been talking with pops about it for a month or two, but I told him I wanted to wait until you got back before I left.”
“Where will you go?” you asked. You could feel a lump rising in your throat.
“Pops assigned me to protect a few islands back in Paradise with Brew and Epoida, so we’ll-”
“Brew and Epoida are leaving too?” you asked. You couldn’t help it now, your eyes started to water.
Whitey’s eyes got wide as she realized what she had just done.
“So everyone is just leaving?” you asked, tears starting to spill out now. You wiped them away, angry at yourself for getting so emotional.
“A lot has changed since you left,” Whitey said softly. Her hand reached out to comfort you, but you smacked it away.
“But we swore to stick together!” you said. You could feel your face growing hot, the magma churning beneath your skin.
“You can come with us,” Whitey offered. “You can join my crew.”
“I can’t,” you squeaked out. Even if your best friends were leaving, your family was still aboard the Moby Dick. You couldn’t abandon them.
“Look, Y/N, I know you feel like you have an obligation to your dad, but loyalty-”
“You don’t know anything about loyalty, Whitey,” you hissed, jumping up from the bed and storming out of the room.
You weren’t sure where your feet were taking you until you were at his door. Your fist slammed against the wooden door as tears fell from your eyes. The door opened a few moments later, and you didn’t even try to make yourself look presentable.
What a poor sight you must’ve been to Portgas D. Ace. You were standing there, sniffling and sobbing. You were still in your pajamas and hadn’t even bothered to brush your hair. Tears were running down your cheeks, and your eyes had to be red and puffy at this point.
And yet, when Ace saw you, he only looked at you with concern. He quickly scanned your body, looking for any signs of injury.
“Are you okay?” he asked, scanning your face. “Did someone hurt you?”
“Did you know?” you choked out, wiping the tears from your cheeks.
“Know about what?” he asked.
“Whitey,” you sobbed.
Ace sighed, running his hand through his hair, and he shut the door behind you so you could cry in public.
“The division commanders voted on the subordinate captains about a month ago. I knew her name was on the list.”
“You knew she was leaving and you didn’t tell me.”
Ace’s face was full of pain. “It wasn’t my news to share.”
You punched his chest. You heard him gasp in surprise, but you didn’t care. You punched him again. You wanted him to fight back, to yell at you, to do something. But he just stood there and took it. So you punched him harder.
“Stop it.” Ace flinched as your punches grew hotter. But you were so angry, you couldn’t stop. You punched him again.
Ace grabbed your wrist. “Y/N, stop,” he said more firmly.
You used your free hand and kept punching his chest until he grabbed that one too. You started squirming, trying to fight him, until he pulled you into his chest and wrapped his arms around you tightly, holding you in an embrace.
You stopped fighting then, and he held you as you cried into his chest. His hand rubbed your back, trying to soothe you.
“It’s not fair,” you cried.
“I’m sorry,” he whispered. “It’ll be okay, I promise.”
You weren’t sure how long you stayed there, but you didn’t pull away until you had stopped crying and your breath had steadied.
You wiped any remnants of tears from your cheeks. “That was embarrassing,” you sniffled, your voice still thick.
“You’re allowed to be upset,” Ace said. He grabbed a tissue and held it out for you.
“I just don’t want her to go.” Your vision started to blur again, and you blinked a few times to clear your eyes.
“It’s been her dream for a long time.”
You sniffed and wiped your eyes with the tissue. Ace was right. Whitey had always wanted to be a captain, ever since she joined the Whitebeard Pirates 7 years ago.
“It’s not like you’ll never see her again,” Ace continued. “Pops has always worked closely with his subordinate captains. I’m sure she’ll still be around. And you can still talk to her on the transponder snail.”
“We should have a going away party,” you said softly.
“Try to say that with a little more enthusiasm, maybe?”
His comment made you laugh, and he smiled in return.
You sighed. “I need to apologize to her.”
“Probably.”
You turned to go find Whitey, already trying to think of what you’d say to her. As you opened the door, you realized you should say something else to Ace before you left.
“Ace?” You turned back to him as you walked out. “Thanks for letting me beat you up.”
Ace gave a cheeky smile. “Anytime, love.”
Love. That’s what he had called you. Love. You had left before he had a chance to see your reaction, but you could feel your body steaming, and the air smelled of burnt hair. Your burnt hair. He was a smooth bastard, and you hated that you loved it. But now wasn’t the time to focus on your stupid commander. You had to apologize to Whitey.
You found Whitey in your bunkhouse, packing up her things. When she realized it was you, she froze, trying to decide what she should say or do.
You decided for her. You rushed to her, wrapping her in a hug. “I’m sorry,” you said, blinking away fresh tears. “I’m so happy that you get to live your dream.”
“No, I’m sorry!” Whitey cried. “That was a really shitty way to tell you.”
“It’s okay, I promise.” you pulled away from her and wiped at your eyes. “I was just being selfish. God, I’m going to miss you, Whitey.”
“I’m going to miss you!” She was wiping tears from her own face as well. “I wish this was easier.”
“We’re going to have a goodbye party,” you said. “For you and all the other new subordinate captains.”
Whitey laughed and returned to packing her suitcase. “One of your parties is the last thing we need,” she said.
“I have two days to plan it.” You smiled mischievously. “Prepare yourself.”
“Y/N!” Whitey called after you as you bolted out the room. “Don’t go over the top!”
The next two days went by in a whirlwind. You spent your days begging and bargaining crew members for booze, ordering the chefs to make the most decadent meals, and hanging decorations you had made.
When a strategist plans a party, they think of everything. Which is why your parties were always so notorious for getting out of hand. You thought of drinking games, picked out the perfect musicians, and always had a backstock of alcohol. You hadn’t planned a party in years, but it’s clear that it’s reputation had lived on while you were gone.
As the sun was setting, the deck was so crowded with people that it was hard to move around. You were always touching someone, and it became almost claustrophobic to stand. You chose to leave the main deck area and headed towards the bow of the ship, trying desperately to escape the crowds. You found a spot where you could stand without touching someone else, and leaned against the railing to watch the sunset, enjoying your drinking.
“Hey!” Whitey called, stumbling over to you. She was already drunk, though that was partially your fault. One tankard of ale did a lot more to her than it did to you. “Come back to the party!”
“I will. Just enjoying the sunset for a moment.”
Whitey pouted. “You plan this whole big party and you’re not even enjoying yourself.”
You smirked, staring at the sea. If you looked at Whitey, you were fairly certian you would break out into tears. “Are you enjoying yourself?”
“Of course! But you should have fun too!”
It was kind of hard to enjoy yourself when your best friend was leaving. You had been diligent in pushing that fact out of your brain, but now as you watched the sunset, you realized this would be the last one you’d share with Whitey for a long time.
“Can we just be sad while we watch the sunset?” you asked, tears starting to rise.
Whitey wrapped her arm around you and leaned her head on your shoulder. “I’m kind of scared to be a captain,” she admitted, her eyes watching the sun slowly sink behind the water.
“New people, new horizons,” she said. “What if I make the wrong call? I won’t have Pops to back me up. It’s scary to think that I’m going to be alone.”
“You won’t be alone, though. You’ve got a lot of good, trustworthy people to back you up.”
“Yeah.” Whitey didn’t say anything more until the sun was almost gone from view. “You’ve got good people here too. Make sure you don’t isolate yourself. Do stuff with them. Have fun. Okay?”
“Alright.” You wiped the tears from your cheeks and finished off the rest of the ale in your tankard. “Let’s party.”
“Yeah!” Whitey cheered. She grabbed your hand and pulled you back to the party. People had seemed to spread out a bit more now, and it was easier to breathe and move around.
Shots of liquor were your least favorite way to get drunk, but it was the fastest. Still, you found yourself questioning the choices that led you to this moment, where you were lined up facing five large shot glasses of rum. You had already won the game once, and you could feel the alcohol starting to flow through your veins.
“Whitey, are you trying to make me puke?”
Whitey stuck her tongue out at you. “Did your time abroad soften you?” she taunted.
“Whitey-”
“Who will challenge her?!?” Whitey declared, holding up your arm as if you had just won a boxing match.
You looked around the crowd and found Ace and Marco, watching your predicament with smirks. You shook your head and mouthed “Save me” to them, but they only laughed at your misfortune.
“I’ll do it!” a voice called out, someone shuffling through the crowd.
“A challenger has appeared!” Whitey yelled, dropping your arm and allowing your to return to your station.
A young man appeared, one you didn’t recognize. If you had to guess, he was about your age, maybe a little older. He had red hair and piercing blue eyes that were full of rebellion and spunk. He was cocky too, because he looked at you and winked, and you almost looked away from him in embarrassment.
He was handsome, you had to admit. You weren’t sure how you had missed his presence since you had gotten back. He seemed a bit too over the top for your liking, but he was the kind of guy who would make a good drinking buddy.
“Uzzo,” he said, holding out his hand.
You took it, giving it a firm shake. You opened your mouth to introduce yourself, but he cut you off.
“Don’t worry, darling.” He brought your hand up to his lips and kissed your skin, shocking you into silence. “I know who you are.”
You quickly yanked your hand away, trying to push down the bubbling feeling you were getting in your stomach.
“You know the rules folks, first to finish all five shots wins!”
“What do I get if I win?” Uzzo asked, looking at you mischievously.
You rolled your eyes, tired of this long introduction. You wanted to get drunk already. “Bragging rights. Now get ready.”
Uzzo frowned, humming in disappointment. “How about a kiss instead?”
You laughed in his face. “Ask me again if you win.”
He smirked, satisfied with your response. You both readied yourself, and then looked to Whitey.
“Ready, Set, Go!” she cried, throwing her hand up in the air to start the race.
You were winning until the fourth cup. You heard Ace laugh from the crowd, and your concentration broke as your eyes searched for him. He was there, laughing with Marco. His arm was wrapped around a girl’s shoulder, and you could feel your stomach churning with envy at him being so close to someone else.
You barely started your fifth cup by the time Uzzo finished. He watched you down the fifth cup as the crowd cheered for his victory.
“So,” he said, watching you place down your last cup. “How about that-”
You didn’t wait for him to finish. You grabbed his shirt and pulled him across the table, your lips smashing into his. You could hear the crowd freeze mid applause, everyone surprised by your actions. But you made out with this stranger in front of a crowd, not caring who saw. A piece of you even hoped certain people would see you.
Blame it on alcohol, blame it on jealousy, blame it on wanting to wipe that smug look off his face. It didn’t matter why you did it. You didn’t even like it all that much. You had kissed several boys before this one. He wasn’t anything special.
You finally pulled away, and saw you had succeeded in your goal. His cocky grin was replaced with shocked, widened eyes. You could see the crowd watching you, and you resisted the urge to look over at Marco and Ace.
“Congrats on your win,” you said. You gave him a quick wink and turned and walked away without another word.
“Holy shit,” Uzzo murmured behind you, and the entire crowd erupted into cheers once more. At least you looked confident, even if you didn’t feel that way.
You went to find a keg of beer, needing to wash down all the rum you had just consumed. The ten double-shots you had just taken were starting to catch up. Fast.
“You are quite the graceful loser,” Marco said, taking your cup from your hand and filling it up at the keg.
“Marco! I haven’t seen you in forever!”
“It’s only been two days.”
You clutched your chest overdramatically. “So long. It’s been so painful.”
Marco chuckled. “You’re very drunk.”
You took your drink back from him, nodding enthusiastically. “Blame Whitey.”
“Looks like she’s having a good time at least,” Marco said, his eyes watching your friend. “You threw a good party.”
“Hey Marco, I couldn’t find-” Ace stopped talking when he realized you were standing with his fellow commander.
“Ace,” you said, your lip pouting out at his name.
“You take over keg duty, I’ll go look,” Marco said, quickly passing the spout to Ace and bolting away.
“Hey! Marco!” Ace called after him, but Marco was already gone.
There was an awkward silence that hung in the air. If you were sober, you would’ve let it hang there. But drunk you was a lot more chatty.
“Are you enjoying the party?” you asked, looking at Ace.
“It’s fine.”
“Just fine?! Rude!” you scoffed. “I worked hard on this party!”
“Then you should go enjoy it,” Ace snapped. “Don’t you have a boyfriend to entertain?”
“I don’t have a boyfriend.” You rubbed your tankard against your cheek, giggling. “Just booze.”
“Could’ve fooled me,” Ace mumbled, grabbing a guy's drink and refilling it for him.
Your eye twitched. “What’s your problem?”
“Nothing.” He was managing to look everywhere else on the ship but at you.
You scowled and stepped in front of him to block his view. You could feel your skin growing hot with your anger. “If you have a problem with-”
“Hey!” Marco cheered, and you turned to see him. “Come on! We're playing Commanders and Strategists up on the roof of the Captain’s Quarters!”
You squealed in excitement, already forgetting your squabble with Ace. Whitey’s reminder rang in your ears. You refused to isolate yourself. You had always loved Commanders and Strategists, so you took off towards the roof of the Captain’s Quarters, eager to see what kind of trouble you could get into next.
tags! @taeyoge @teiza @tojislawyer @trafalgardnami @bloopbopsblog @dancingnewcat @dxestyi @flooofity (if you'd like to be included in the tag list, just comment or send me a message!)
#one piece#one piece imagine#one piece scenario#one piece x reader#one piece x you#portgas d ace#portgas ace x you#portgas ace x reader#ace x y/n#ace x reader#cozage#✧˚ace✧˚
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hi. i saw some of your posts where you mention being a psychopath (or having psychopathic tendencies, i’m not sure what the correct terminology is) and i’m curious. i know someone being a psychopath doesn’t inherently make them evil or bad, but i’ve never known anyone, irl or online who was one. i have some questions.
1. what is the difference between a psychopath and a sociopath?
2. what makes someone a psychopath? are they born like that?
3. is being a pyschopath something you are diagnosed with? how do you know you are one?
4. you’ve mentioned on here that you have a wife. do you feel love? what does love mean to you?
i’m sorry if any of this is too personal. i don’t mean this to be rude, i’m just curious. i have done some research on this before but i’d like to hear what an actual psychopath has to say about it.
hi anon! don't be sorry - the whole point of me posting about it (which I honestly did not think would go this well lmao) is to educate and counter the absolutely rampant misinformation out there. this site is a pretty good resource working with actual researchers and clinicians. where I disagree with them is the classification of psychopathy as a mental disorder.
as I said in that post, I think it's a natural variation within the population that serves its own purpose.
the term itself is somewhat controversial for multiple reasons. one is the obvious: it's highly stigmatized and media representation is utterly absurd cartoon villain type shit. this does not bother me, but I have heard other people say it bothers them. regardless, I think it's a really interesting topic, which is why I want to talk about it and engage with others. the second reason the term is a bit complicated is this: outside of the actual field, barely anyone knows what it means or how it compares to "sociopath" or to the ASPD diagnosis. Psychopathy and ASPD are commonly believed to be the same; this is a misconception based on outdated information - the website I linked discusses this a bit.
1. sociopath isn't a clinical term. it means whatever the person using it wants it to mean. psychopathy on the other hand is a clinical term (but not a diagnosis!) which refers to a specific set of personality traits. Psychopathy is very much a spectrum. sort of in the way autism is, in that some people are very high in 1 psychopathic trait and low in others, another person might be high in a different 1 or 2 traits, etc. I am much higher on boldness than disinhibition, for instance, where my wife is the opposite.
2. this is a veeery debated topic. some people use the categorization of primary (born with it) vs secondary (comes from extreme abuse/trauma/etc) psychopathy. I'm not sure how much I believe in the second one, but I haven't written it off necessarily. I have had distinctively psychopathic traits my entire life. these traits have shifted and changed as I've grown, but only to such a degree, just as anyone's core personality traits do throughout growing up and all of life. The site I linked above has a page on this that is a much better take than that primary/secondary shit.
3. as I said above, no, it's not a diagnosis. and in my view, it's just a way to quickly describe people at one end of the spectrum of human emotionality/empathy/interpersonal relating. in cases like mine, it's pretty obvious to anyone I'm totally open and honest with. I'll give a couple examples.
I don't feel fear - like, at all, not even in life or death situations. I do not remember a time I have felt genuine fear as an emotion. I have felt adrenaline (though my threshold for that is reeeeally high) but the only emotion I ever end up with from that is irritability once it starts wearing off, though I haven't figured out why lmao. I don't know if this is just me or a more typical part of psychopathy, but it's fairly common for me to have the chemical/physiological side of an emotion without the emotional feeling itself - like what I just described with the adrenaline. I do experience anxiety (actually a pretty common comorbidity) sometimes, but it tends to be a very cerebral form of it, and is almost never *about* anything, just there.
I don't usually feel anything when friends or family members die. if they're very important to me, I get a little sad, but it's not very strong or long-lasting. I don't feel anything when other people are in mental or physical pain, even if I have caused it. this doesn't mean I can't care about people, just that it's a conscious decision and doesn't come with emotional attachment. my cognitive empathy is positively excellent.
I was a total nightmare as a kid. I was always always getting in trouble, and roping other kids into my unhinged (and usually dangerous) schemes. I was not always kind to other kids. I tended to manipulate peers who looked up to me for my entertainment when I was really young, but I did correct this behavior because it's not remotely worth it, and because I do make an effort to live as normally as possible and put significant effort into maintaining and adhering to a strict code of ethics (this is very difficult tbqh, but I have a high capacity for self-discipline). I was always getting in fights. I practically lived in the principal's office. I could NOT be told what to do. Punishment had zero impact. My mom wound up on antidepressants (this may have very little or even nothing to do with me, but idk & figured it was worth mentioning in case it was). I'm lucky I didn't get arrested. I realized I was headed that direction mid high school and sorted my shit out.
4. My wife and I love each other in our own way. She feels things a bit more than I do, and she DEFINITELY feels love as an emotion more than I do. But we talk openly about that, and she genuinely accepts me as I am and knows that I love her to the best of my ability, in my own way, and I go to extra efforts to make her feel loved because I'm aware that I can't reciprocate quite what she feels. That said, she is also rather high in psychopathic traits like I mentioned previously, which explains why we bonded initially over the things that we did (things I'd better not specify lol). It also means she really isn't bothered by me not being terribly affectionate, romantic, patient, or just generally any of the things most people want in a partner lmao. I do really try for her though. I definitely consistently form closer connections with other high-psychopathy individuals than anyone else. She rarely uses tumblr but is @psychichologramnightmare if you have any questions for her 😁
as for what love means to me, I think it's pretty individual. there are many components to love as we conceptualize it. love as a concept & love as a literal emotional feeling are sort of different in my mind, I guess.
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Out of Excuses
TW: Smut. DarkRafe. Tension. Degrading language.
SUMMARY: Rafe is making his move on you tonight.
WORD COUNT: 2700
*Requested*
Out of Excuses
‘You two are so perfect for each other, I don’t know why you don’t just go for it’. You’d heard this line in such repetition that if you had been paid each time you were forced to endure it, you’d have your future kid’s college paid in full. And yet with each time it was left lingering within the air, the longing glance you made with Rafe somehow validated why it would never be the truth.
But the problem wasn’t unrequited passion or desire, even if either of you acted as such. Instead, it was your reservation and his understanding that even though you were closer than friends should be, you couldn’t be anymore different. Where you were goal oriented and organized, he was impulsive and insatiable-not to mention cruel to a specific group of people simply the product of an unkind life dealt in the roulette of life.
But it had been these reasons, among those of stubbornness and fear, that kept you apart from pursuing what could have been passion between you. And it was a list that continued to grow, even more so than when your father’s bad investment cost you the lifestyle you’d grown accustomed to in your more formative years. Because of this, your entire life had changed. School. Friends. Even your job felt the effect of this alteration, but there was a constant.
Rafe.
But he’d kept his distance, both intentional and otherwise, since your change of station. The only time you’d see him would be on those rare occasions where the ‘Kooks’ and ‘Pogues’ held functions together, often ending in some altercation involving him and JJ Maybank. But those glances had been enough for your heart to race with the familiarity of his focus as you’d always been able to converse through your gazes alone. Raised brows signaling humor and cocked smirks informing him of a joke you’d shared. But there was something different in his eyes tonight.
“Hey princess…” JJ addressed you, a recent acquaintance turned friend since your change of social status. Not as if he could ever replace the way you felt when you were with Rafe. But the platonic reliability of a joke aided in the sting of his distance.
Eventually, after a few hours of being entertained by the pogues signature party style, you said your farewells and began to walk home. With your change of address came a new route home, which also gave you a lot of time to think. About what you missed, what you wanted-who you wanted…
The sound of steps at your back made you roll your eyes as you turned, “JJ, I told you, I’m fine to walk-” You stilled, Rafe Cameron having stalked the shadows behind you.
“Hi…” You offered an uncertain nod, not exactly sure what you two were, but knew, irregardless, that it was complex.
“How are you?”
“I’m fine…” You dragged out, somewhat annoyed to entertain him as he moved the space in front of you until he was close enough for you to smell the alcohol from his breath and the echo of weed in his presence.
“I have a question for you…” You let out a sigh of exhaustion as he had a habit of making everything dramatic.
“Are you fucking him?”
“What?!”
“You let him fuck you?”
“Rafe!” He offered a shrug, truly unapologetic to his brazen curiosity.
“I know he wants to…” You shook your head in disbelief followed by humor that brought your lips into a smirk.
“Everybody wants to-” You interrupted him with a scoff.
“Tell that to half of the party who couldn’t stop staring at me despite the fact it’s been YEARS since I’ve even really seen them…You included, actually. You only look at me from across a party but never actually talk to me…and then you have the audacity to ask me if I’m sleeping with JJ?” To the clench of his jaw, you realized how this affected him, something you couldn’t help but relish in it against his usual content indifference.
“But even if I was, I don’t have to tell you anything-” You rolled your eyes, pulling yourself into a turn before he caught hold of your arm.
“I’m trying to look out for you…Like I always have-” You tried to pull away, a breath of disbelief showcasing your rejection of his words.
“How exactly did you do that, Rafe? Because you’re just like them…Snorting your first world problems away through your dad’s money and expecting the world to fall at your feet because you don’t ever have to worry about being ‘less than’ anyone! But if I want JJ or Pope or anyone else…That’s MY right to sleep with whoever-”
“Shut your mouth-” You narrowed your eyes as his grip tightened onto you.
“Rafe, you’re hurting me…”
“And what about me? Huh? Seeing you with them? With HIM? Of all people, a fucking pogue!”
“I’m a pogue now! Have been for a while, actually…Or did you forget that while you were getting too high to notice?! If I fuck anyone, I don’t owe you an explanation. In fact…maybe I’ll see what he’s up to, since you mentioned it…” Your attempts to escape were made in vain as he only pulled you tighter into his chest.
“The only one ‘fucking’ you…is me-” Before you could respond beyond your initial shock, his lips were suddenly against your own. The lips you’d only felt once before in a game of spin the bottle had now become well trained in contrast to your early adolescence. They no longer trembled in trepidation. Instead, they were feasting on your own, pulling them apart in the tease of his tongue, and holding you to him as if releasing you meant certain death.
“Fuck…” He breathed in finality, taking his forehead against yours. “I’ve wanted to do that for so long-”
“Rafe…” The sudden reality of what this would mean had pulled you to object. If not for the infantile politics of a ‘pogue’ being with a ‘kook’, then for the way he was destined to break your heart and you’d be desperate enough to let him just to be with him. It was this same desperation that tore down your defenses long enough for him to walk you off of the road’s shoulder and into the weak seclusion of nature outlining this specific stretch of thoroughfare.
Once again, his lips were passionate against your own, every angst-filled moment he hadn’t acted on this very thing having shown through in the way he’d breathe you in beneath him. His fingers were just as distressed, eating away into the curves he’d been taunted with since you’d grown into them. But quickly, these kisses and fondlings weren’t enough. He needed more. He needed to see more of you. For this, his lips descended down your jaw and to your throat as his hand wrapped the curve of your neck, stabilizing you, as his second hand prepared your breast for unveiling.
Your mouth parted to object before the sudden cold air of exposure exhilarated you into silence, quelled in continuation by the warmth of his mouth. Your eyes fell to him, observing the way he’d expertly seduced those hard nubs, almost sweetly, if not for the pull he made when teasing you with his teeth.
But once his eyes moved up to you, the preying frigidity he’d worn the entire night having darkened with lust, you were reminded of how this would end; Emotional carnage. Heartache. Devastation. All things that you couldn’t risk. And for that, you took your hands to his chest to try and push him away, but found him to capture your wrists and hold them over your head.
“No…”
“Rafe…please-” His hand suddenly wrapped around your neck.
“You’re done making excuses why we can’t do this…why I can’t have you.” Your eyes widened in fear to the unwavering devotion he had to satiate his own carnal appetite.
“I’m gonna make you come so fucking hard that you’ll never want anybody else to touch you-And even if you did, you’re gonna be so marked up by me nobody will want YOU-”
“RAFE-” You gasped into his hand as his second hand worked down to your shorts, pulling them open just enough to access your clit.
“Go on…lie to me and tell me you don’t want this-” The hand around your neck ascended to your jaw, a harsh grip stilling you in place.
“But I know the truth-” His middle finger now penetrated you, quickly followed by a second, as they curved in the successful search for your g-spot. Your hand moved to his wrist, wrapping in a tight hold as he continued to pump to and from you.
“Please Rafe…not like this…” He quickened his fingers, your mouth pulling open in slack.
“Like THIS then?”
“Stop…pl-stop…” You struggled to remain convicted in your words, your body betraying any attempt made.
“You are begging me to stop, yet riding my hand like a goddamn rodeo…” He breathed a breath of relief in knowing he wouldn’t have to force you to take him, as he would have you no matter the rejection, a dark thought you’d found exciting as you knew you’d never be the one to cross that line of friends to ‘more than’. And he hadn’t only crossed that line, he’d blurred it-obliterated it even, until all that remained was your need for him.
“Please…” You continued to whimper, his palm now pulling into your clitoral hood as your face contorted in pleasure.
“I’ve held back every time I see you, kept myself from bending you over the nearest surface and fucking you in front of everyone so they know you’re mine. But now that we’re alone-”
“We can’t-” He shook his head in a single flick before chuckling, his hand withdrawing from between your legs and collecting your neck, increasing the pressure as your eyes came to a reluctant close.
“Say it one more fucking time and see what happens…” Your hips were suddenly taken into a spin, your body pressed up against the trunk of this specific tree.
“But someone could see us-”
“Good.” He growled into your ear, taking all fabric away from your hips before lowering the same of his own. His secondary digits wrapped around your neck once more for a mix of dominance and stability while his more used hand fondled your breast from beneath your shirt, sending you to writhe as jolts of electricity shot through every nerve and gathered between your legs.
“I know you’re already as wet as a whore for me so I don’t even need you to…but I want to feel those lips wrapped around me…so suck…” He took his fingers at a tease on your bottom lip.
“Why are you shaking, sweetheart? I’m not even inside of you yet…” Before you could answer, he interjected once more.
“Are you scared?” You slowly nodded as he laughed behind you, his chest rising and falling at your back.
“Then listen to me and I won’t have to hurt you…”He leaned closer into you, “Because I could fucking kill you for even entertaining the idea of JJ-or anyone else touching you-fucking you-fucking what’s MINE.” You could only moan to his words as he breathed in approval of your submission.
“Now. Suck.” You obliged, treating his fingers as if it had been his cock, moaning against him until they were suddenly withdrawn.
“Take it, bitch…” With a groan, you were stuffed with his cock, those saturated fingers on a mission of torture and titilation against your clit.
“Rafe?”
“I’m not stopping…you ask again and I’ll leave your ass so raw you won’t be able to sit. Now shut the fuck up and let me enjoy this…” He groaned, trailing histouch from your breast to your clit, back across your stomach in a rough claw motion, and finalizing to your hair before he bent you further against the tree. His rough motions should have been anything but enjoyable, yet the way he held you, the desperation behind each penetration and relinquishment, brought you into feral pleas beneath him.
“Keep begging baby, fuck…” You spoke his name in continued gasps and groans, his tempo increasing once doing so, before a cruel slap to your ass made you leap forward, his fingers pulling you back into him with aggression. This specific pounding having created an echo all its own, erotic in the sound of skin to skin only interrupted by the guttural groans crafted beneath clenched teeth and parted lips.
“I always knew you were a fucking slut, but shit, you’re so tight like you’re a goddamn virgin!” He grunted into you.
“But you can do better…come on! COME ON!” He endorsed, your fingers coming behind you to his hips, nails drawing evidence of the sensations he caused having now lined his bare skin.
“Rafe!”
“Do you need me to slow down?” He asked as you slowly nodded, feeling him scoff before twisting lines of circular conception to your clit, pounding into even harder.
“That’s right, take all of me-FUCKING SHIT!” He cursed, allowing his neck to succumb to gravity as you clenched around him. “You don’t fucking come until I tell you-”
“Rafe-”
“I swear to God if you don’t listen, you’ll be so fucking sorry-” His thrusts were sloppy, approaching his release, as you trembled to fight your own.
“Do you have ANY idea how long I’ve wanted this?!” He growled.
“So you’re gonna come when I say-IF I say…IF I let you-”
“Rafe…Please…I can’t take it-”
“Oh YOU can’t? But you will-you’re going to fucking take it! Take it like the whore you were willing to be for HIM…We both know he can’t fuck you like this…right? Come on, say it-Fucking say it!” His hand around your throat made this difficult, but not impossible, as you nodded and answered in a weak agreement.
“AGAIN!”
“Only you!” You cried out as he suddenly unsheathed from you, turning you to face him, and forcing you onto your knees, fisting his cock before motioning for you to take over with a single nod.
“Taste how sweet you are on me…go on- '' You obliged, hungry for any release, even if it was his own. You took him in expert paces, tongue and hollowed cheeks, as he spoke your name in pained choruses.
“More- '' He growled as you pushed him further against your gag reflex, a smile spread across his face as you gasped and gagged against him, but always returned to continue your task.
“Oh fuck-I’m gonna come…you’re making me come-” You nodded, wrapping a hand to his base and squeezing what couldn’t reach beyond your tongue, before feeling him spill down your throat, his exhausted breath interrupted by these final thrusts before he took you against his lips.
“You drive me crazy-”
“Rafe…” You whined as he smirked.
“Want me to help you?” You nodded before feeling him lay you onto the ground, holding you firm with a hand wrapped around your neck.
“You have ten seconds or you don’t get to-” You parted your lips to object before feeling him between your legs with his tongue, edging you a handful of times before withdrawing.
“You made me lose count, so fucking sweet…YOU count. Now!”
“Ten…” You breathed as he returned to you.
“Faster, Rafe-please!” A cruel suck to your clit made you arch beneath him.
“COUNT!”
“NINE!” you cried out.
“E-eight!”You struggled, the feeling of his fingers inside of you curving back to your g-spot, leaving you breathless.
“Sss-se-seven!”
“Louder!”
“SIX! FIVE!” You obliged quickly as he grinned at you.
“Three-” He smirked.
“You missed one…Did my cock make you stupid, baby? Or are you THAT desperate to come?”
“I’m so close, Rafe!I can feel it! Please!” His grimace widened.
“Then come if you’re so desperate. Three seconds left-come on- Keeping counting-”
“Three!”
He moaned into you, those vibrations being the final pull you needed before you convulsed beneath him.
“Two-” You winced.
“One.” He finalized your interaction, wearing your slick with pride before taking note of you beneath the moonlight.
“Even more beautiful, all marked up by me…We’re gonna keep it that way…” He pulled you to your feet.
“Where are we going?”
“Back to the party so everyone knows how good you just got it-”
“Rafe-” He silenced you by a rough grip to your jaw and a passionate kiss turning French before parting.
“Not up for discussion. Let them see that after all this time, you’re finally mine.”
Taglist: @hopebaker @iovdrew @penny4yourthoughts @magnificantmermaid @pickingviolets @lovedetlost
#rafecameron x reader#rafecameronfanfiction#rafecameron#outerbanks#outer banks smut#obx#obxsmut#outer banks#obx fanfiction#rafe cameron#drew starkey#rafe cameron smut#netflix
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I have so many questions about every dynamic you can think of for this au im so interested in hearing more about the tenma siblings (toya included) and nene + emu's relationship with tsukasa
im also interested to hear how the dynamic between ena and mafuyu, emu and mafuyu, + rui and mizuki changes.
There is not enough space in these charts for any real information aughh, sorry for the weird text sizing. Also I didn’t put that much effort into editing Kasa/Mafu in these images haha
But relationship charts between the group! Sorry it doesn’t answer every question, but hopefully it’s enough? Feel free to ask more if anything needs clarification!
Here’s a transcript:
Tsukasa- Emu: Always tries to make me smile, but should she really waste her energy on me?…Sometimes she reminds me of Saki when she was younger
Tsukasa-Nene: Stronger than she seems. The least chaotic of the others, when we’re together she doesn’t expect anything. It’s…nice, although it might not be good.
Tsukasa-Rui: Always has something new to try, but I think it’s more for his own curiosity than for my self discovery. He knows a lot, could be more helpful if he ever shared it.
Emu-Tsukasa: Someone important to me that I’ll help find the smile of, no matter what! You’re no oohm doom villain Tsukasa-kun!
Emu-Nene: The most wonderhoy singer! Thank you for helping me see what it means to be a leader, I promise to never lose sight of my troupe again.
Emu-Rui: He always has the best, most fun ideas! I really appreciate his support, we always do best with his directing!
Nene-Tsukasa: He can seem pretty intimidating, but he’s actually rather clueless. I hope he can figure himself out, just not at the expense of others.
Nene-Emu: You’ve grown into a person deserving of the title of leader and I’m grateful you brought us together. I know you’re determined about your goal, but don’t forget we’re here too.
Nene-Rui: I’ll get stronger, I won’t turn a blind eye to you ever again.
Rui-Tsukasa: He tests anything I ask of him without complaint, I wish I could say that was a good thing. Let’s keep using each other until we’ve found what we’re really looking for, okay?
Rui-Nene: I’m glad she’s standing up for herself more, but I hope she knows there’s nothing she needs to make up for. It’s just nice to perform with her again.
Rui-Emu: A truly admirable person, she’s dedicated herself wholeheartedly to other’s smiles. Your smile is something precious as well though, don’t forget that.
—
Mafuyu-Kanade: A musical genius to match my lyrical! Her soft mannerisms belie her unmatched stubbornness, she’ll ever so gently, tell me I’m doing too much, all while she neglects herself! How confounding!
Mafuyu-Ena: She reminds me of those small dogs that get a poor reputation for being aggressive, despite it being people ignoring their fear signals that cause those reactions. That being said, it’s rather entertaining how differently she responds to Kanade versus Mizuki.
Mafuyu-Mizuki: They’ve introduced me to many new styles I’ve never experienced before. It’s amazing how they can make the most intimidating outings seem approachable. I enjoy any and all time spent with them!
Kanade-Mafuyu: She can’t see how she’s hurting herself for the sake of others. I need to help her, someone who can actually save others- shouldn’t have to suffer for it.
Kanade-Ena: Her art is still filled with hurt, but I’m glad she’s found some peace in our group. If only I could do more for her…
Kanade-Mizuki: They always have the frankest opinions of everyone else and seem to speak their mind freely, yet rarely say anything about themself. Their perspective is always appreciated though.
Ena-Mafuyu: Aren’t the big headed types supposed to not actually be good at everything? How is that fair at all, and she’s even got the nerve to be a nice person! I’ll show her-
Ena-Kanade: She’s wonderful. The soft, patient voice-of-reason needed to reign in the group, listening to her music is like a miracle cure for bad days.
Ena-Mizuki: They’re an insistent pest, that won’t leave me in peace. I guess I don’t hate the company though and they are good at putting together outfits for photos.
Mizuki-Mafuyu: A willing dress-up doll, she’s pretty enough to be one too! Kinda reminds me of an old friend with how many questions she asks about everything, guess geniuses have that in common.
Mizuki-Kanade: Always makes sure everyone feels comfortable and safe. It’s really nice to have a space I won’t be judged…
Mizuki-Ena: She’s way too funny not to tease, but she’s just as capable as the rest of the group. It’s kinda scary how easy she is to talk to, wouldn’t want to say anything I regret.
#edit#my edit#fanart#au#swap au#project sekai#pj sekai#pjsk#tsukasa tenma#pjsk tsukasa#tsukasa#rui kamishiro#pjsk rui#nene kusanagi#pjsk nene#pjsk emu#emu otori#mafuyu#mafuyu asahina#pjsk mafuyu#pjsk kanade#kanade yoisaki#pjsk ena#ena shinonome#pjsk mizuki#mizuki akiyama#info#relationship chart#ask
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𓅨 Your Fate is Sealed With Mine: Chapter One
Your Fate is Sealed With Mine: Y/N Burgess is the granddaughter of Alex and Paul, and after having spent so many summers at their manor and always wondering why she was forbidden from entering the basement, she descends the steps into the world of the Order. She broke out the being that had been trapped in that glass cage, but what does he want with her now that he is free?
Warnings: Language, Mind Fuckery (Possessive Boi Morpheus), Mental Health Discussion, Medication Discussion.
To Note: Morpheus/Dream x Female!GranddaughterReader, based on Netflix’s ‘The Sandman’.
Word Count: ~2.4k
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You remember the summers you spent at your grandfathers’ manor quite well. The large stone building and sprawling grounds were massive, with plenty of space for you to roam, and roam you had. As a child, your imagination ran rampant and your dreams even more so. You had so much freedom your parents would have been mortified, well, you could go where you pleased save for one location: the basement. Naturally, you were curious about what was down there. But grandpapa Alex told you that a monster was locked away and he didn’t want you to get hurt going down there.
It made sense with all of the guards coming and going in shifts, so you had left it alone and never spoke of it again. But then the dreams started coming, they were of a place that seemed to be rotting away to black and gray. Splendor to ruin. A kingdom crumbling without its ruler. Those dreams had made you afraid as a child. In fact, it had gotten so bad that your parents had to come and retrieve you because you were so terrified of sleeping for fear of dreaming about that decaying and dismal place. You had stopped visiting the manor at ten, terrified of what was in that basement and what came to your dreams at night. It had taken hundreds of sessions with a therapist and medication to rid your child mind of those dreams.
Now an adult, you were less inclined to take the medication. You were an adult and you knew that dreams were exactly that, dreams. Why did you need to fear them when upon waking up they would no longer be real? So you stopped taking them and moved on from that chapter of your life. If only things were that simple.
“Come on, Y/N, it’s Friday, we’re at the club, we look hot, relax a little will you?” Jemima protested from where she sat across from you, drink in hand. The Friday after work you had been dragged out by Jemima, your childhood best friend, and coworker, to the club to let loose from a stressful work week. “You aren’t still thinking about your ex, are you?”
“Mmh?” You sounded, your eyebrow lifting as you rested your chin in your palm. “Oh, no, totally over that twat. I’m glad he’s gone if I’ll be honest. He was a lazy sod I was glad to kick to the corner. Kind of embarrassed that I dated him in the first place actually.”
“Then what’s on your mind babe? You’ve been spacing out a lot lately.” Jemima returned, setting down her drink. “You aren’t acting like yourself.”
“Nothing, really, I’ve just been thinking a lot about my childhood lately… don’t exactly know why.” You said with a shrug. “I keep feeling like I should visit my grandfathers', I haven’t been since I was ten.”
“So… why don’t you?” You hadn’t thought about that. Deep down inside you was that yearning to visit, a strong urge to go into that basement and find out what had terrified you so much as a child. But your conditioning was so strong you had been unconsciously resisting the idea even as an adult.
“Honestly I have no idea, my parents told me that I was to never go back, nightmares and all. I’ve kind of just accepted that I should just stay away. Plus, you know I’m busy with work.”
“But you loved Fawny Rig! You raved about it when we were children. Are you really going to let your parents tell you what to do now that you’re an adult? Babe, you're a grown-ass woman. Live a little, I’m sure Paul and Alex would love to see you.” You tilted your head to the side, honestly thinking about her words. Yes, you were an adult, and no, your parents couldn’t control what you did anymore. Besides, what they didn’t know, wouldn’t hurt them.
“Alright, I’ll pen it in when I get to work on Monday.” You told her, your mindset and that gut feeling, finally appeased. Jemima beamed at you and picked her glass up.
“Excellent, now that we’ve gotten that business out of the way, can we finally let loose and have a little fun, you look like you need a proper fuck.” You snorted and rolled your eyes.
“I didn’t come here to have a one-night stand, Jem,” She shrugged at you before pointing to the bar. It was only half filled with men and women, but in half an hour it would be packed with patrons wanting their beer and chips.
“No, but you did come to have fun, at the very least go kiss someone. You need a good snog, Y/N.” You had to resist rolling your eyes a second as you slipped from where you sat and headed for the bar. It was time to get a drink in hand, preferably your favorite, and forget about all your troubles and stress.
Alcohol ran through your veins like blood as you laughed at what Sam, the man who had managed to charm you enough to hold your attention, had said.
“So I told him if he didn’t want to botch up the job he should have just told me. Pretty sure the lad isn’t just a prick, but a fucking cactus.” Your laugh dissolved into giggles while you gripped your stomach.
“My God, how in the bloody hell have you put up with him this long? He sounds worse than my ex and he was a piece of work.” Sam’s eyebrow went up and curiosity filled his soft brown eyes.
“Oh?” You took another sip of your current drink and shook your head at the ridiculous your relationship had been.
“Believe me, I’m wondering why I stayed with him for so long, he’s the type where if you listen to him long enough, you start to wonder who ties his shoelaces for him. Absolutely useless. Wanker can’t even boil water for tea.“
“That's why you’re here tonight drowning your drinks like they’re water?”
“I’m not the type to cry over a twat like him, my mother taught me better than that.” You responded before lazily shifting your gaze to where Jem was dancing with her chosen man of the night. “Jem, my best friend who came with me tonight, brought me to unload after a stressful week at work.”
You both looked at her for a few moments. She was obviously enjoying her time and not worried or stressed at all. Envy nipped at your heart, you wished you could be as carefree as Jemima was. She hardly seemed to have any troubles in life, and if she did she just breezed past them like they never happened.
“I’m a little envious of how she can just let all of her stress go.” You sighed. “My life would be so much easier if I could do that.”
“You make it sound like you are a bore, Y/N.”
“Am I not?” You returned with a raised eyebrow. Sam tilted his head to the side and studied you, his eyes not really revealing what he was thinking.
“No, I don’t think so. Care for a dance love? You look like you could use more stress relieving.” Releasing your drink, you grabbed the front of his shirt and slipped from the bar stool you had occupied for the last hour.
“Come on, Brown Eyes, let the de-stressing commence.” Sam laughed as you dragged him to the dance floor and twirled in a circle. He took your hand and pulled your body against his as your body swayed to the beat of the latest song. You weren’t familiar with the song but the beat was nice and easy to dance to, so you let yourself get lost in the music and the light scent of Sam’s cologne.
The alcohol you had drunk surely helped with the nagging feeling deep in your gut and Sam provided a wonderful distraction you were all happy to indulge in. As the songs progressed your hands migrated upwards to wrap around his neck and you leaned your head against his chest. Song after song, the lights in the club twisted together in a kaleidoscope of colors. Sam was a temptation and you wanted to kiss that temptation until it was all you could think about. Sam finally dipped and you stretched.
Your lips connected and alcohol mixed with beer. Odd combination but you didn’t care, Sam’s lips were pleasant and delicate against yours. It was a feeling and experience you missed, but it didn’t entirely sate that need for comfort and intimacy. Beggars couldn’t be choosers and you were content to take what you could from what Sam was offering. So you did.
You sunk your fingers into his hair, wrapping them around his strands and tugging on them while his lips worked themselves across your own and drew out little delights. Sam’s hand slipped across your lower back and pulled you closer to him. He tugged at your lower lip and parted your slightly tingling lips, you let him sweep into your mouth with the same delicate precision he had when simply kissing you.
Your body trembled in delight, glad to have some form of genuine affection that didn’t come from a place of deception and disinterest. Sam then brushed a hand up your side, staying respectable as he reached your cheek and stroked your jaw with his thumb. You couldn’t help but let out a soft sigh against his lips, pulling back slightly to look into his eyes.
“I don’t normally kiss strangers I meet at the club, Sam.” You told him, your eyes twinkling with mischief and your lips begging to return to his. Deviousness sparkled in his brown ones as his lovely lips curved into a partial smile.
“Didn’t stop you from kissing back.” He returned with hesitation, still holding you against his chest delicately. You dropped your eyes down to the hand you had resting over his heart and drummed your fingertips against his shirt.
“Consider me charmed,” You mused with a soft smile. “But I hardly think snogging in the middle of the dance floor is appropriate.”
Sam’s eyebrow went up and his eyes didn’t stray from yours.
“That’s not stopping everyone else from doing so, fairly sure they’ve forgotten where they are…” His comment was filled with humor and you couldn’t help but huff out a laugh.
“I’m not that open with my affections, you can fix that if you want.” Sam was tugging you through the crowd by your hand in seconds as you giggled. You passed Jemima and her man of choice and cackling, her hand darted out and landed straight on your arse. You snorted in laughter, jumping forwards at the sting while glancing over your shoulder at Jemima. She had a massive grin on her face and was cackling her head off. You shot her a dirty look before disappearing into the edge of the crowd, breaking free of the dancing people.
Now free of the overheated bodies, you and Sam stumbled around each other, heading in the direction of a much quieter corner of the club. Back hitting a wall, Sam’s lips found yours once more. The entire time you kissed he never once was pushy or overbearing, no, he stayed gentle and delicate. You could appreciate that because you never once felt like you were being smothered by his desires. Your fingers scratched at his shirt and dug into his hair, tugging and pulling at what you could grasp. Lost in the feeling of being wanted once more, you barely noticed that Sam’s kisses had turned deeper, more demanding, and less delicate. You weren’t being smothered but you could definitely tell that Sam was now kissing you in slight desperation. Like he too was grasping for what little affection he could get.
The grasp on your jaw tightened, pulling your lips closer to his and you were all too happy to respond. Your fingers pushed through silky hair and your nails scraped against his scalp. Lips ravished yours with desperation, migrating to your jaw, and you found yourself floating away in a reverie of daze and delight. Letting out a small moan, your back arched and your chest pressed again his. Soft hair brushed against your cheek as lips migrated to your neck. His lips were now exploring the skin of your neck, softly and yet with barely restrained want. He was holding back and you could feel it. Your eyelids fluttered open, and staring up at the hazy lights overhead, it took you a few moments to make sense of what you were seeing.
The room was dark, its occasional flashing lights gone. There was a dampness in the air you could now feel, there was even a smell of must… but your surroundings weren’t what brought a shiver up your spine. It was the silky black hair you had in your grasp. A beautiful raven black longer than the strands you had previously been grasping and tugging. Not the shorter chocolate brown hair Sam had. Your heart leaped in your chest, taking off at an almost painfully fast pace. You weren’t kissing Sam anymore, but something else entirely. With shaky breathing, your eyes slowly moved downwards to the man now gently nipping at the underside of your jaw. Your eyes met intense silver-blue ones, and the moment you realized what was going on, you jerked back against the wall.
The world around you distorted and returned to the club, pulsating lights and music and all, and with a frown, Sam looked at you in concern. He touched your cheek, his thumb lightly running across your cheekbone.
“Y/N, you okay love?” You blinked rapidly, reaching up to run your fingers over your neck, still feeling those kisses against your skin like haunting echoes. Like they had been real. “You spaced out for a moment…”
Letting out a heavy breath and feeling your heart rate slowly ebbing to a normal pace, you slumped back against the wall.
“Sorry, my mind got distracted.” You replied breathlessly, shaken to the core but trying to hold a calm and collected demeanor. You nervously chucked. “I don’t think the alcohol is helping either.”
“Better get some water in you then, love,” Sam replied, returning the chuckle as he guided you back to the bar. He was the perfect gentleman, helping you up into a seat and ordering you water. While he talked with the bartender, you watched him, a growing new pit of dread forming in your stomach and one thought on your mind: he was back, and you had a feeling that this time, you weren’t going to be able to get rid of him with medication.
Date Published: 8/15/22
Last Edit: 4/25/23
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#morpheus x reader#morpheus#lord morpheus#dream the endless x reader#dream of the endless x reader#dream x reader#dream the endless#dream of the endless#the sandman netflix#the sandman x reader#sandman x reader#the sandman
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Look. I don't disagree that age regression makes creeps me out. You know what else is weird and taboo? Like. All kinks.
Age regression. Dad's best friend.
And, of course, some people would argue that lesbian and gay fics are too taboo to have in writing. They encourage people to live a life of sin. And everyone knows gay people are secretly pedos.
I don't believe that. But there are people who genuinely do. Policing content, especially fictional content, will almost always get down to that too. Because it's controversial. It's political, it's charged. And you can argue "its not the same" but it is to them.
Because the argument they go for is "protecting the kids."
That's not getting into the argument of something being fictional, either. That's a whole other thing to argue about- and it is something I think you should really think about, too. Often people use fictional settings and writings to explore bad things in a safe way. That doesn't mean they're going to do bad things. If I write about murder, am I promoting murder? If Joel kills a guy in cold blood in my fic, does that mean I should be held responsible for someone else committing murder after reading my fic? Does that mean I believe murder is okay?
There have been arguments about what is "appropriate" in fiction for a very, very long time. You're young. You don't know the nuance behind these arguments and their histories. But it is there, and it is a long, storied fight. I really recommend actually thinking about the histories and arguments and looking into it.
Anyway, yeah, ban books in schools. They have things I find objectionable that I think children shouldn't be exposed to because it could hurt them. The government should get to say what books are allowed to be written and everything else should be burned, etc. Lolita has no historical or cultural significance and is just a bad bad book by a bad bad man.
P.s. you can't enter an adult space and cry about adults interacting with you. You came to their space, bud. If you don't want to interact with adults, you should stay in child spaces. And, if you are 18, you ARE and adult.
first of all, thank you for being RESPECTFUL and an adult with your opinions. there is something to be said about the fact that many people’s first response is to tell me to choke or die and then call me the immature one. like ok. get a life.
age regression as far as i’m aware is not a sexual thing. it is a trauma response. as to dad’s best friend, i really have no problem with that one, although i do find some of these fics where the character has known reader since they were literally born to be distasteful. and as for the gay thing- totally irrelevant to my point i fear, and it’s NOT the same because gay people don’t sexualise child-like behaviour.
as an english literature student, i abhor the fact you brought lolita up whatsoever. nabokov was very much against pedophilia and wrote lolita as a cultural criticism on the matter- to refer to him as a bad bad man even jokingly makes me feel as if you’ve never read lolita at all 😭. i have NEVER said to ban books in schools. I’ve said i wish grown adults would stop acting as if sexualising child-like actions is a safe kink because it normalises something very scary and real that happens to many children. i do in fact know about these nuanced arguments- i study them every day. no amount of nuance is going to make me defend reader baby talking whilst joel calls her “kid” and she calls him “dad”. what other implications am i supposed to pick up from that except the very obvious ones?
i truly don’t care about adults of any age interacting with me. however, adults in their thirties making (often nasty) subposts about me when they are closer in age to my mum than me does rub me the wrong way- i feel like maybe if they think i’m SO young and immature they should leave me alone/not set all their other friends on me or say things about how me and other people my age should “choke”. but then again that’s just me. at the end of the day i live in peace knowing that i live in a free country where i can share my opinion and i clearly did it without telling anyone to die, so who’s really the immature party here?
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Hello! (Please forgive my English) I saw your requests open, but did not see any other guidelines other than no pedo or incest. I was wondering if you had any thought on how far a Yandere Bennett would go to keep you for himself? He has bad juju, he knows this. So would he confine you and watch from a distance. Interfering in your life when you got too close to anyone or would he struggle against his bad luck and cling to you for fear life?
That’s actually really interesting, I’m also not good With English either. So you good! Imma use the knowledge I’ve learned about poison, so get ready. Gender neutral reader like most times.
Warnings: Stalking, Murder, guilt tripping(?), let me now what I missed!
Yandere Bennett, the unlucky person of all humanity. There’s a few things that’s gonna happen so let’s talk about them.
He would try and watch from a distance, thinking that his bad luck would harm you on accident. He has that thinking way to much. Even with the traveler he would worry that something he did would hurt them. Maybe in this scenario you helped him when he was covered in bruises. While doing so he would tell you over and over again that you will get hurt. Still you helped him out before leaving, now you got his attention. He would follow you around Mondstadt, see what you like, what you do, who you talk to and so on. He’s ok with that, it’s the best he’s gonna get anyways.
That’s the stalking part, the beginning part. I feel like he would watch you for a while due to his bad luck. But he’s gonna get jealous of everyone being able to talk and hang out with you when he can’t do anything but watching from a distance. So after a few months maybe even a year goes by and he finally gets enough confidence to talk to you. He walks up to you waving and being all excited to see you. Then he trips, and falls on his face. But oh look you came rushing to see if he’s ok! Your still kind like the first time you met!
Bennett would hang out with you a few times before realizing, his bad luck might actually be good. He would fall due to his luck or get injured due to his luck and you would always be there to help him. He’s getting your attention because of his luck!
Remember when I said about poison? Yeah, I know some things. I’m just gonna imagine that the fatui has made white arsenic along with red and yellow arsenic.
Bennett knows a bit about poison, from Albedo for some reason. White arsenic can be put in water or any other drink without anything changing. The poison is tasteless, odorless, and colorless. No one’s gonna notice if he puts a little into the traveler coffee, right? I mean he will die and the place he got the coffee with be the cause. I don’t think they have any arsenic testing, except from albedo but albedo is helping Bennet so shush. So it would be labeled the stores fault. But he would start to ‘blame’ himself for the travelers death and how his bad luck has gotten worse. You comfort him telling him it’s not his fault it is and that he shouldn’t blame himself he should but he doesn’t care .
Also, a 1/8 of a teaspoon is enough to kill a healthy full grown adult much less for a child, person with impaired health, or is just really old. White arsenic that is, the other two is kinda hard to hide.
He’s gonna use his bad luck as a way to hurt or even kill anyone else who’s in the way.
In sort, he’s gonna start out innocent and start with stalking but once he gets feed up with jealousy he’s gonna use his bad luck to his advantage. He’s not gonna stay sweet and kind forever, some things can and will go sour.
#Yandere Bennett#Yandere genshin#Yandere Genshin Impact#Genshin x reader#gn reader#Yandere x reader#Male yandere#Yandere Genshin impact x reader#Yandere Bennett x reader#Bennett x reader
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A Manchester Affair (Rúben Dias): Chapter 15 (Final chapter)
Chapter 14
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**Author’s note: And we got to the end of the story! Thank you so much to everyone who has read, liked and reblogged. It means a lot ❤️**
"I think it's time you meet my parents", said Rúben randomly while he was out on a run with Lucía.
"Ok. Sure".
"And maybe one day I could meet yours".
That made her stop. He knew everything about her relationship with her family now and still said that?
"It's not the same, Rúben. You have a good relationship with your parents. I don't".
"You could try to have it…".
By the way he spoke, she could tell he had been wanting to bring up that topic to the table for a while.
"Maybe I just don't want to", she said, running faster and leaving him behind.
By the time they got home, Lucía had tried hard to forget the family topic, but Rúben wasn't done with it.
"Come on. It's been 10 years. You were a kid when you left, you need to at least try".
"I don't need to do anything. You weren't in that house with me. You don't know what I went through. You grew up in a house where everyone loved each other and looked after each other. You just don't get it".
"But my point is the same", he insisted. "You left because of how terrible it all was and I get that. You were so brave leaving by yourself, not knowing what could happen. But now you have your own life. If things don't work out, you don't need to run away. You just come back home. Isn't it worth at least trying?"
She just remained silent, looking at the kettle.
"Isn't there a part of you that wonders if things could be fixed? That wants things to be fixed?"
He showed how well he knew her by saying that. Yes, of course there was a part of Lucía that craved fixing things with her family. A part that wanted to have her parents back in her life. Who wouldn't want that? But she was still hurt by their actions.
"I guess but…I already have a family. Of my own choosing".
"And that's great", he said, getting closer. "But you deserve to have both types of family".
"I'll think about it".
He smiled at her. "That's all I wanted".
**
"He wants you to see your family?", asked Erik once she was done telling him about the conversation with Rúben.
"Yes, he wants me to try and fix things with them. I appreciate it but I just don't know if it's possible".
"He's right about one thing".
"About what?", she asked, curiously.
"You are not the person who left Madrid years ago. I've known you for a long time and you've grown so much. Even if your parents are still the same, you aren't. Things could work because of that".
"I guess…".
"At least this time you don't have to worry about the future. Even if things go really bad, you have all of us waiting for you here. We're your family too".
She absolutely knew that. Erik had been more of a father to her than her real dad.
"Ok. I'll call them".
His smile made her smile too. She had so many people who cared deeply about her. It would be great to add two more to that list. The two that should have been at the top since the beginning. But if she didn't, if things didn’t work out, she'd be fine.
**
"Hola mamá".
"Hi? Hi! Is something wrong? Why are you calling?"
Her tone surprised Lucía. Her mum sounded so shocked to hear from her. But then when she tried to remember when was the last time the two of them spoke, she couldn't.
"I'm good. Really good, actually. And…I …I was thinking about maybe visiting Madrid soon?"
The line went silent for a second and Lucía feared she would hang up. Surely her mum wouldn’t be so rude to her, right?
But then she heard something. Lucía heard her mum crying.
"Mum?"
"Yes, come here whenever you want. You're always welcome. I'll tell your father. We could pick you up at the airport and then you can stay here and…", she kept rambling and Lucía’s heart started to ache. All of their conversations of the last 10 years had been so robotic, so devoid of feelings.
"Mum, I wouldn't be going alone. My boyfriend wants to come with me and you could meet him too".
"Oh, right", she laughed. "The footballer, he's very handsome".
"How do you know about Rúben?"
"The articles. Ever since Ajax did that big article about you, I google your name every couple of weeks hoping to find something new".
She did that? Now it was Lucía who tried not to cry.
"Well…he would love to meet you so, yeah".
"We'll be looking forward to seeing you. Let me know when you've booked the flights and everything else".
"I will, mum. Bye".
"Bye. See you soon".
Once she hung up, she ran up the stairs to Rúben's apartment. He was shocked to see her at his door, crying but smiling.
"What happened?"
He tried to talk but Lucía just hugged him. "Thank you".
**
Two weeks and a half later, the season was over. And it was time for them to go to Madrid.
"It'll be fine. Your talks with your mum have been very positive. I'm sure it'll be fine".
"If it isn't, I'll at least have you there with me", she said, hugging him tighter.
“You do”.
When they landed in Madrid, Lucía saw her mum and almost couldn't recognise her. Ten years was a long time, she had changed a lot too.
"Mum?"
"Oh my God. You're really here", she said before hugging her and starting to cry. Lucía hugged her back and waited for her to calm down. "You're here and you're so beautiful. And taller. I didn't think you'd have grown more", she laughed. She kept on holding her daughter’s face and just looking at her.
"Thanks. Um…this is Rúben", she said, turning to see him looking at them with a smile on his face.
After the introductions, Lucía’s mum was driving them to her house. Her house. Not theirs.
"Your dad and I separated shortly after you left. It was probably the best thing that could happen to us. We weren't good together. No one knows that better than you. A part of us wishes we had done it earlier. Maybe we could have avoided seeing you run away too".
"Have you met someone else since the separation?", she asked, so curious about the lives her parents had lived since she left. Whenever she talked to them, they made it sound like they were still together. But she couldn’t blame them because she rarely shared anything about herself either.
"No. I'm not really interested in that. Your dad did. She's lovely. You'll love her".
Lucía never imagined having such an adult and normal conversation with her parents. They never seemed capable of it but if her mum was proof of anything, it was of how much people could change.
When they got to her mum’s house, the house she had shared with her ex husband and kids, Lucía was surprised to see so many of her things still scattered around the place. When her brother had been gone for a year, her dad threw away everything he had left in his house. And that caused a huge fight between him and her mum, who wanted to keep all those things. Maybe Lucía’s stuff was only there because of her mother’s will to keep it there. This only made her worry more about meeting her dad again.
Lucía’s mum was right about one thing. Her dad's new wife was lovely. And he was so different too. Gone was the controlling father who didn't let Lucía do anything. Even his wife’s sons adored him. Their own father was still present in their lives but they called Lucía’s father “dad” too.
Lucía couldn't lie and pretend that didn’t make her jealous. Why did they get that version of him when she had to get the bad one? It didn’t sound fair.
But they were good kids. And, of course, they were obsessed with Rúben.
"How cool is it that our step-sister is dating a famous footballer?", asked one of them. They couldn’t get over it.
"And she works with so many more!!!", responded the other. "You're so cool!"
"Thank you", she said, not knowing how to process all of it.
“You really are cool”, told her Rúben, hugging her and kissing her head while they both laughed.
“Lucía”, said her dad, getting her attention. “Can we talk? In private?”
“I’ll be playing with them if you need me”, said Rúben before leaving them to talk.
“I guess I should apologize”, he told her.
“I guess. I didn’t do things right either. So it should go both ways”.
“Yes, but it was us, your mother and I, that really messed up. It wasn’t until I saw the boys with their dad that I really realised how terrible I was as a father, you know?”
She didn’t know what to respond to that.
“Some people aren’t meant to be parents. Your mum was meant to be a mother, I wasn’t meant to be a father. It’s ok with kids that aren’t my own. And I’m sorry I hurt you, and your brother, so much just because I thought I knew better. Your grandparents told me so many times that I was just pushing you away from us too, and I didn’t listen”.
“I accept your apology”, said Lucía.
“Thank you. I can’t promise I’ll be father of the year now but…I guess at least I won’t make the same mistakes. And I guess you turned out pretty well despite my flaws”, he laughed.
“I had amazing people in my life who help me turn into the person I am today”.
“I’m glad you did. And now you have more people who can be part of your family too. If you want to let them in your life”.
Lucía just looked at the teenagers playing with Rúben and smiled. It looked like she was not only getting her parents back but a whole new family. And that filled a void she spent years pretending didn't exist.
#ruben dias#ruben dias imagine#ruben dias x reader#ruben dias fluff#ruben dias fanfic#ruben dias fanfiction#footballer imagine#footballer x reader#footballer fluff#footballer fanfiction
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if you're still doing the hot takes 👀
basically my main one is that i consider that all the drivers are probably arseholes/annoying to some extent bc lets be honest you do NOT get to this level in sports, especially in motorsports without being a bit selfish and they are all young(ish) men who have mostly grown up with privilege and/or definitely have it in buckets now. sure some of them have made more fools of themselves by saying silly things in public but i do think that i wouldn't want to meet any of them/ probably wouldn't actually really like them if i got to know them
idk if that sounds mean 😭 because there are some of them that i do like and respect for different reasons but i think we all need to calm down about putting guys on pedestals. it takes some of the argumentative edge off if you just assume that all of them are regular people with flaws or things about them that you won't like so much, whether they are highly publicised or not. trying to make your fave look better by pointing out flaws/actions of other drivers just gets sooo old.
that said i dont think theres harm in highlighting nice/good things that they do bc we need positivity too!
random other takes: i think everyone should just stay out of wags business, lando not having a win doesn't mean he's a flop or worse than oscar/george/whoever people are comparing him too now, yuki has actual real talent even if he makes mistakes sometimes under pressure (and everyone talking about his "attitude problems" need to bffr), and despite everything i DO feel so bad for nyck lol
I think that you’re right about drivers being assholes and annoying to an extent, but not because of privilege but because they’re just boys 😭 privilege & wealth don’t go hand and hand with being a dick, so I don’t think you’re giving these drivers enough credit. Now I’m not saying they’ll be your best friend upon meeting then or they’ll be the happiest person ever, but I think MOST of them will be kind. I mean between the interactions I’ve seen with Charles and Alex, and what Dax has said about Daniel, I don’t think you have to worry about all of them being dicks. I understand the fear of meeting them though, bc I also have that fear but more so out of breaking the fourth wall. It’s weird, my brain.
And yeah, I always say that there’s a way to support your fave driver without putting down another. I don’t understand why people who bash on other drivers spend the energy when they could be using that time to focus on their fave. I’ll never understand that side of the fandom and I’ll probably go insane before I ever do.
Random takes -> everyone should leave wags alone, lando shouldn’t be compared he’s riding his own lil wave— but also no drivers should be compared has heavily as he is currently, yuki is 100% a strong driver and is just hindered by the car he’s given, and i love his little outbursts I don’t CARE what people think, & nonnie I also feel so bad for nyck.
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Spoilers for The Owl House 3.03 Watching and Dreaming
Okay so .... I have a lot of words about this episode!
Since I’ve just watched it don’t expect anything here to be cohesive since I am basically just ranting from memory and getting all my thoughts down in writing. No profound meaning behind everything here, just vibes :’D
The Collector - their mini arc in the episode and having them learn to appreciate life, forgiveness and friendship was such a treat - I screamed and actually feared for their life when they ran to Belos then to scream at Luz breaking apart (dying) afterwards - I had no idea this was the way the crew would go with the collector but I loved it
Belos - fucking hell, I am glad he finally died!! I am a little sad that we didn’t get more of his backstory with Caleb but I think what we did get about Belos especially though the words of the titan to Luz in the inbetween fits well with the story and gives closure to Luz and her doubts about being as ‘bad as Belos’. Also him melting in the boiling rain and Luz being over him to the point of not even flinching when Belos tries to manipulate her? Good stuff!! So was the call back to the first episode with the Good Witch Luz pulling Belos off the dying heart of the titan!!
The dream sequences ... I actually thought those and the games would take up more screentime but I am not too sad about it since what we got was pretty much just as angst as I’d thought it would be - and giving time to Raine being badass resisting Belos and Luz meeting the titan was a far trade off for me
I did get some Amphibia the Hardest Thing vibes from the Luz meeting a deity in the in-between after “death” only to get back to life bit but again I don’t mind it since it ended in a pretty badass finale seeing Luz, King and Eda fight side by side
Seeing the rest of the Hexside squad helping to free the other inhabitants of the Boiling Isles with the help of best mom Camila was pretty fun although a part of me had wanted to see them have a bigger impact on the story: still, it was nice checking in with them once and twice and gosh I adored Amity for being the first to genuinely giving up her hand of friendship to the collector after Luz has just told them about friendship - it was a perfect moment in my mind.
The scenes of people meeting up with their family was so sweet - I enjoyed it a lot especially with Hunter getting his found family in Darius and Ebberwolf :3
Yet to me the real beauty was the epilogue - seeing all the different ways that the peeps on Earth and the boiling Isles have grown up and their new looks! I love Luz’ eyeshadow, and gah, Vee’s piercings look so cool!!! (I wonder if the nose piercing is a nod to the voice actor also being the voice of Amethyst? I believe she had a nosering (Amethyst?)? I could be wrong, this is literally my unhinged, first thoughts written down unedited) - Willow being a badass sports girlie fits so well and I love the short hair for her, Gus looks incredible with those gold accessories in his dreadlocks, and Amity as a badass air explorer with a sidecut? Hello!!!? Hunter is killing me being this adorable taking up the mantle as apprentice of Dell and aaaaa the blue bird is gorgeous and somehow fits Hunter so well :’D what really killed me about him tho was two fold 1) Flapjack’s grave and 2) the red thing on Hunter’s arm that king of sort of looks like a Flapjack tattoo to cover up his empire coven sigil OVO
And then hello white haired Raine!? Why do they slay with that haircolour and the ‘tear down’ scars!? this look fits them so well, and I am so happy seeing them together with Eda, finally :’3
The ending sequence with the collector sending the fireworks and all the casts saying “Bye” feels like the biggest nod to the fans - thank you so much Dana, the crew, the cast, the animators, everybody for this wonderful show!!
#the owl house#toh#the owl house spoilers#toh spoilers#watching and dreaming#watching and dreaming spoilers#toh 3.03 spoilers#mine
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Tbh if ur looking to break a b/p cycle not purging post binging/overeating is the WAY.
Whenever I b/p, I literally get rewarded for bad behavior in the form of weightloss. Like I enjoy some flavor (mostly stop caring about taste like a couple minutes in) and wake up skinnier. The only things that punish me are the awful feeling of I’m actually going to die any day now, dehydration, fear of any amount of food, fear of water, financially fucked (fr this one is the worst for me).
Yet the only thing I really care about is progress.
My binges have grown due to b/ping so when I truly binge, I almost always throw it up whether I want to or not HOWEVER when I overeat I can sometimes keep it down.
When I overeat and weigh myself the next day, it isn’t easy to see the number go up but it does make me feel like I have a better sense of where my body is at. I’d rather lose through calorie restriction and be like 5 lbs heavier than I thought than constantly be dehydrated.
Plus when you keep food down you can be wayyyy more exact in your calorie counting.
Anyways overeating leaves me full, bloated, and not wanting to binge. Like I do obsess over what I’ll eat but I have no desire for that frenzy of eating whatever I want. I used to feel that kind of desire when I was anorexic, but if I’m being totally candid I’ve been more bulimic than anorexic for years now. I’ve binged over and over and over. It isn’t fun if I can’t purge it. It isn’t desirable. When I eat more than enough my mind isn’t even on food unless I’m planning to allow myself to eat. I can keep food in my kitchen and not touch it! Not even think about it!
Lately I’ve been spiraling back into my b/p fasting hell. I’ve interrupted the cycle for two days now. I already feel a renewed sense of I wanna restrict. Maybe I’m delulu, but I feel a second wave of a honeymoon phase coming on.
So yeah idk maybe try it. Just a day or two. Hell I’m doing a week (sort of, I don’t really wanna eat today lol). Trust me, I almost always get a new honeymoon phase once I get past the initial dread of thinking I gained everything back.
This isn’t targeted towards all bulimics btw. It’s really more towards those who are in the late stages of literally leaving nothing in their stomach. Bulimia is such a crazy thing because most people gain from it, but once you get to a point you can really lose real weight. It’s not worth it. It’s not quicker than just restricting. I’ve been so ill (like near death sickness not an ED) and truly bulimia hell felt so much worse than that.
Btw I call it bulimia hell because I still think I’m bulimic, but I’m not afraid of water anymore and I can convince myself to eat more easily.
Another option is just go full gym bro. Eat enough, build muscles, obsess over calories and feel in control while somewhat improving your health (it’s unhealthy to not take a minute to let your body heal first and it probably will bite you in the ass but it is better than continuing a bulimic spiral)
Also if you can just stop trying to lose weight that would be best for you. You would feel far more hopeful than the solution I’m offering. I just know I’d rather someone stop dehydrating themself like a raisin and restrict their calories than just say “you haveeeeee to accept weight gain! No other way! You simply must go all in! Even though this disorder is all about all or nothing! You have to giveeeeee up that mindset of all or nothing while simply declaring absolutelllyyyyyyyy NO more disordered behaviorrrrrrrrsss”
If you can, yay! I’m so envious! I’m truly astonished at your bravery and commitment. Most of us aren’t so incredible. We are all capable of it, but clearly we tend to lean on coping mechanisms. We feel we need something.
I’m just so god damn tired of being told I must be ready to recover in order to improve my quality of life even a little! I’m not ready! Why would I be! I don’t want to recover but I don’t want to die over a toilet either! Let me wean off! Let me reduce harm! Give me my fucking time!
Anyways I’m horrified at quasi recovery so I am restricting and stuff still but idk I’ve been through these phases a couple of times in the past two years and I gotta say, I didn’t get fat. I didn’t go back to being 140 lbs. I had moments of pure hope and joy. I felt my body relax a little. I’m losing again and have a new breath of air in my lungs. I’ve got the second wind in the race. It’s okay to regroup. It’s okay to harm reduce.
It’s okay to eat. It’s okay to compromise. If it means not having a heart attack because you refuse water, than by all means eat 1200 cals and keep it in! It’s so much better than nothing!
#ed not sherran#tw ana shit#tw ana diary#tw ana fast#tw disordered eating#anorex14#bul1m14#ana trigger#anorexcya#bulimima
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24,55,62 🩷
I apologize for taking forever to answer, I really wanted to put a lot of thought behind my answers 💚
24. Favorite crystal?
Oh my this is difficult for me since I use a lot of crystals for a variety of things… I have always felt a strong pull towards working with jaspers (particular ocean or dragon jasper). Fluorite was one of my first crystals and I still use it mediation. As of late I’ve been reaching a lot for serpentine since it balances the heart chakra and I have a blood disorder/cardiovascular disease.
Putting crystal work and meditation aside… I really love rings and wearing jewelry. I am a huge fan of my emerald, moss agate and moonstone rings. I also have a ring made of real Helenite (the actual one made from the mount st Helen eruption) that was gifted to me by my mother and I love it’s bright green color 💚
55. favorite fairy tale?
Im a sucker for rapunzel… I grew up loving the Barbie film and then when Disney did tangled… I know the actual fairy tale is quite different than the kid friendly versions but still. Massive love for rapunzel.
62. seven characters you relate to?
Leslie Knope from parks and rec : I have always been told one of the few things I’m good at is gift giving. My partner actually calls me Leslie knope bc he swears he’s never met someone who has such a strong gift giving love language.
Anakin Skywalker: Ever since childhood I’ve felt quite a kinship with anakin since he was sort of shoved into a world of expectations without having much choice in the matter. I had to grow up quickly due to family circumstances and lost out on a normal childhood. Feeling a constant struggle with my anger and fear… gravitating towards anakin wasn’t that difficult.
Merida : not only did a lot of people call me this in high school because my more Irish/Scottish accent and routes (not to mention my red hair) but I’ve also grown up quite rebellious and have a unique relationship with my mother. I even have a bear tattoo for her since we both love the film. I also have several bows and used to be on a shooting team!
Amy March (little women): Amy, while the younger of the March sisters, I have often felt was misunderstood in literary history. Seeing the more recent adaption of the film, I am so glad to finally have a version of the literary character I love so dearly. I won’t elaborate to all the reasons I connect with her (she is an artistic, ambitious and level headed woman who often feels the second choice) but go watch the new film version and you may catch glimpses of me 💚
And since this is a Harry Potter / Hogwarts legacy account I’ll rattle off how I relate to characters in the franchise:
Luna Lovegood: she is just so in her own world, and not afraid what others think. I’ve always related to this energy.
Nymphadora Tonks: every character quiz I take says I have strong alliances to her personality, and I do see much of her energy. She’s a bit of a spitfire with a strong sense of forging her own destiny.
Sebastian sallow : shouldn’t be a shock (since I got back on tumblr because my connection with our favorite slytherin) but it meant so much to me to finally see a slytherin who was as studious as I am in real life. Before the game I was always a little apprehensive to let people know I aligned the most with the serpent house bc the bad associations and the fact we don’t see many positive slytherins in the original franchise… Academics have ALWAYS been a huge part of my life. Taking care of my baby sister at my own expense (emotionally, physically and financially) has been a huge part of my life. There isn’t a thing I wouldn’t do to keep her safe. I truly enjoyed playing this game since I watched and got to see a character that I saw so much of myself in at that age. Playful but worried, studious but always in trouble, protective of others but little sense of self preservation. He’s headstrong until he accomplishes his goals and would lay down his own safety for those he cares for 💚
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you should seriously take a break before you fix your mower, ik it sounds very cliche but if you really need a more 'logical reason' then think about how sloppy youd be at fixxing it! all tired and hazy.
i dont want to seem naggy, just wanted to look after ya (i hope that made sense!)
Oh, I think you have a point. It isn’t like I don’t have a ton of other things to do.
TBH, I don’t have a lot of zip today. I go some VERY bad news about my mother, which meant I also couldn’t even talk to her. That knocked me for a loop. Then I found a limb had fallen and crushed our blueberry bush, then I reinjured my bad eye on a blueberry branch trying to clear that up so the whole world is out of focus again, I found out that something had settled under the ramp to the house so part of it is floating in the air until I wedge something under it….And so on. You don’t need the full list of whining.
In a way it’s a typical day for me, but dang I feel exhausted.
The lawn will do, and isn’t like any amount of mowing would make the yard meet my neighbors aesthetic standards anyway. Or the house, the vehicles, my personal appearance, for that matter. Between the run down nature of my life and my out of step with the community tastes**, there isn’t any point in stressing too much.
Don’t worry, you didn’t come across as nagging. It’s kinda nice to have someone care.
**Seriously, my neighbors want to cut down ALL the trees! And since this isn’t a desert but a place that would grown into a woods if left alone, there is no reasonable advantage to except if you share their paranoid fear of trees falling and loathing of leaves. At this rate I’m going to have the only yard that doesn’t look like astroturf!
Let me point out there are a LOT of reasons I like trees. The trees make the house cooler in our crazy hot summers and warmer in the winter. They protect me from sunburn when I’m in the yard. They protect plants from drying out in the droughts we have been having. Trees mean animals to watch, nuts to eat (pecans grow wild), something to tie ropes to if you need something solid when rigging up a line working on the roof (actual thing I’ve had to do), they are fun to climb…and the are just plain pretty to look at.
I know we get hurricanes and other storms that can and do uproot trees, and limbs fall. But honestly? Most of the time they don’t hit anyone or anything important. And if you look at the type and placement of lots of the ones they want to cut down, they could NEVER damage their house anyway!
There are a LOT more things in this world to worry about that don’t seem to bother them at all. Easier to fret about trees that the fact they drive while Googling on their phone or chain smoking or deep frying their Thanksgiving turkey in the garage. Trees are just there, minding their own business, which means they are nice little external threat that can get rid of without any angst.
Sorry for the rant! LOL
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It’s like 7 in the morning, I’ve got places to be today but I’ve been mentally monologuing about this for probably 10 minutes now so i’d like to share it with you guys.
Tw// abortion, mental health,
The thing about pro-lifers, or conservatives who are against abortion, is that they only care about the fetus when it is unborn.
During those 9 months, when the baby is yet to be born or anything like that, they just care so, so much about the young- but the second they are born?
They don’t care anymore. They aren’t on your side- if anything they’e against you now. Because they love you so much until they’re spending money on your needs. And they’re too focused on the surface level, “abortion = murder, bad” understanding of it that they completely fail to think of other major factors-
Health/Medical Issues:
Abortions can save a mother’s life, a mother could “choose medical abortion to complete and early miscarriage or end and unintended pregnancy. [They] can also choose to have a medical abortion if [they] have a medical condition that makes continuing a pregnancy life threatening.” [source] For example, ectopic pregnancies. This is when the egg is fertilized in the fallopian tube, and, not to get too graphic (my way of saying if you are screamish, do not read this next line) but can cause a life threatening pregnancy as the fallopian tube bursts open. [source]
Life threatening pregnancies, such as the one mentioned above, without an abortion or treatment, can cause death or harm to not only the mother but the baby as well.
Not Everyone Is Fit To Be A Parent:
When it comes to the topic of parenting, not everyone is fit for the job. Some people might not be in the proper financial position to support a child, some might not be in the proper emotional or mental state. And others, just might not want kids or be ready for kids. And that, just really shows how pro-lifers do not consider how this child, that they seemingly are standing up for, might grow up after being born- how little they actually, genuinely care about the younger generation.
Because, let’s start with my financial example, if you were not in the financial position to have a kid, that child is likely and almost inevitably going to grow up in poverty.
I know lots of kids who grew up hearing of their parent’s money problems- and it can lead to lots of stress being put on these kids even at such young ages. I have friends, classmates, that have grown up hearing of these problems and would worry about spending even a dollar on things like toys or clothes because they didn’t want to make their parents spend any unnecessary money. And while I’m all for kids learning about finance, I was thinking teenagers would fit more, as they are much more mature and learning about things like taxes or expenses is much more relevant and beneficial at that age.
However when it’s a child, it just adds unnecessary stress that can lead to problems in the future- I’ve seen adults stress over how much money they spend because that’s how they were raised. Or, it might be the complete opposite- spending lots of money on food in the fear that they might run out.
And that leads us to the next example- people who are not in a good mental or emotional place to have kids.
Growing up with parents who were or are very clearly mentally unstable can also put so much stress onto a child. In both examples, they are being exposed to these big, scary issues at the age where it’s supposed to be the most relaxed, happiest part of childhood and growing up.
Just like I said before, I have classmates and friends who watched their parents struggle with depression, saw the negative side affects that such things will do to a person. Poor mental health is already hard enough, and raising a kid on top of it all can lead to damage to not only parents but also kids wellbeing,
It can lead to neglect, it can lead to abuse. Both are so incredibly difficult to deal with when growing up or when maturing, a lack of support from and emotionally unavailable parent.
But no- noooo. People’s own needs and preferences about their own body don’t matter. Why should they?
(Related to this post i had reblogged a couple days back)
#pro life#Pro choice#Roe v. Wade#whyareyouhere66#abortion#tw#Mental health#parenting#i do not speak for everyone who was raised in poverty or with neglectful/abusive parents- growing up is different for every body#I’m aware this might spark controversy on my blog#but if you do not support abortion or woman’s rights then why are you here anyways
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