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isdalinarhot · 11 months

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i need to like. write down what opinions each of the War Crimes 6 had about each other that we know canonically. its 4 am i dont have anything better to do. note that this is strictly canonical which means all shipping except canon pairings gets left at the door sorry. we all know sadeas and dalinar want to fuck each other nasty but this isnt what this post is about

gavilar's opinion on:

dalinar: this is my brother. he is useful to me. he is very stupid and easily manipulated. keep the wool over his eyes and keep him pointed at anything and anyone i want dead. he is a tool of mine above all else

sadeas: he is my buddy :)

navani: bitch wife

ialai: [missing data]

evi: [missing data]

dalinar's opinion on:

gavilar: this is my brother. he is the most important person in my life. with parents that were absent at best and abusive at worst he is the one who raised me. i care for him extremely deeply. i would do anything for him. when i played a part in causing his death i turned my entire life around, as he surely would have wanted. he was everything to me.

sadeas: once he was my best friend in the world. i always found him a little silly, a little too intellectual for my meathead self, but i also cared deeply for him. he was extremely important to me, perhaps less so than gavilar, but still an incredibly large part of my life. a trusted ally and close friend. when gavilar died our friendship fell apart as we both blamed each other for gavilar's death and in addition he began treating me coldly when i started following the codes. he betrayed me time and time again until i lost all fondness for him. when he died i felt regret that we could never return to the way things once were, but also a sense of relief, due to his negative presence in my life near the end

navani: i n eed to fuck ehr

ialai: we were buddies back in the blackthorn days! we used to banter sometimes. we were never particularly close but i enjoyed spending time with her. nowadays i don't really talk to her due to the whole complicated situation i have with her husband but she was fun :)

evi: in the blackthorn days i tried so hard to love her but could not muster attraction to her. my heart lay... elsewhere, and her personality and life ethos was not compatible with mine. our marriage was miserable, i hated her at times, but her death wrecked me, less because i was devastated to lose her as a person but more because of what the death represented. spent 6 years forgetting everything about her, got my memories of her back, felt weird about it, had a fun character arc about it, but nowadays when i think about her she is more of a symbol than a flesh and blood woman i had flesh and blood woman feelings for

sadeas's opinion on:

gavilar: most important person in my life. no question. he took me under his wing when i was not even a full adult yet. he built this kingdom. he is the most powerful man i know and because of that i am latched to him like a little wood tick. i "loved" him, whatever the fuck love means when youre sadeas

dalinar: used to be lots of fun but then he got sober and boring and now he has to DIE!!!!!!!!!!! but i did "love" him once, whatever the fuck love means when youre sadeas

navani: [missing data]

ialai: she may be ugly but she is DANGEROUS! which is hot. 10/10 only woman i respect. she gets torol privileges

evi: [missing data]

navani's opinion on:

gavilar: fuck this dude. when i was very young i was attracted to him, but that faded very fast

dalinar: i n eed to fuck h;im

sadeas: oh i never liked this guy. i trust him provisionally but his personality is absolutely rancid.

ialai: we were friends during the blackthorn era :) we are no longer friends after gavilar's death however. missing data on if im sad about this or not

evi: god i tried to hate her. i tried to hate her because she was fucking my man. but shes so stupid and so nice that you just cant hate her. and she was in a miserable marriage and i relate even though if *i* was in her place *i* would be having the time of my life #skillissue. so we did form a semi-close friendship

ialai's opinion on:

gavilar: [missing data]

dalinar: LMAOOOOOO THIS BITCH IS HILARIOUS. hes so dumb and because of that i like teasing him when we get the opportunity to talk. of course once torol wants him dead its like well i am going to help to kill him immediately

sadeas: my husband my bestie my confidant the guy who scratches my back the guy who i can sit on his lap and eat his shrimp poppers my partner in war crime LOVE YOU TOROL!!!!!!!!! MWAH

navani: we were friends during the blackthorn era <3 we schemed together. we are NOT friends now though #FuckDalinarLives

evi: SLUT from rira

evi's opinion on:

gavilar: [missing data]

dalinar: oh dalinar. you are so wonderful and honorable but you kill so much and i wish you would not be brutal and war criminalish. am i attracted to you? honestly speaking not really. you just were politically important to me. but i will bear our horrible marriage where you break my heart once a week because it is my duty as a woman or something idk

sadeas: [missing data]

navani and ialai (they go together because the opinion is pretty much identical): i wish i could be as smart as them, or as cunning as them, but i am a sweet little flower who cannot cook up a single scheme and because of that i feel alienated from them :( we are friends i suppose but its not really equal

#long post #this post took like half an hour to write. and its gonna get 2 notes cuz im posting it at 4:30 am #luke.txt

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tonberry-yoda · 2 years

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Cold Hearted Murderer - Hawks (Keigo Takami)

Pairing - Hawks (Keigo Takami) x f!reader

Warnings - MAJOR SPOILERS, blood, death, angst

Word Count - 591

Notes - i cant stand hawks, but he is pretty, so i had to write a fic in spite of that. and dont worry folks, i am planning on opening my inbox soon, i have two more requests and then we'll be ready to go!

have a great day/night and don't forget to stay hydrated!!! <3333

She froze. Her heart was pounding out of her chest. She felt like she was going to puke. There was blood… everywhere. All over the floor. All over the wall. All over… him.

She watched it happen. She told him it was a bad idea. She didn't think he would actually do it. She thought he would only do it if he had become an actual threat. But he didn't do anything. Jin Bubaigawara didn't do anything. Nothing. He didn't hurt anyone. He didn't kill anyone. God, he didn't even threaten anyone. But he did it anyway.

Hawks killed Twice.

And she was there to see the whole thing.

It felt like the world was going in slow motion. She just watched the number two hero kill someone. With his own quirk.

She couldn't even react when Dabi appeared and burned Hawks’ wings off. She was still frozen. She didn't even notice the burns she got. A hero ended up getting her to safety, but it felt like nothing was going to pull her out of her shock.

“Hey,” somehow, she was pulled out of her own mind, feeling a hand on her shoulder. “You okay?” She turned to see who it was and felt that awful feeling coming back.

Hawks was in front of her and he was… smiling. Who the hell did he think he was? It didn't even look like he felt bad. He was in pretty bad condition too. He was wrapped up and asked Tokoyami, his sidekick, to walk him over to her.

“You should lay down. You need rest.” Her voice was shaky. She was surprised she could even talk. “Thanks for your concern,” Hawks sat next to her on the edge of the open ambulance. “But I'll be fine. They’ll grow back. Hurts like hell though.” “Can you really blame Dabi though?” She slammed her hand to her mouth. She did not mean to say that out loud.

“Huh? What do you mean?” Hawks tilted his head and she could see a mix of his own blood and… Jin’s. “You killed his friend. I would be pretty pissed if the same thing happened to me.” “Well yeah, but Twice was a vi-” “No he wasn't.” Her tone became rough. She wasn't scared anymore. She was pissed now.

“You need to calm down, it's not that ba-” “Keigo, you can't kill people.” “But we can't leave villains alive! Jail doesn't do shit! They’ll just break out and-” “Name one evil thing Twice did.” “Wh-What?” “Go ahead. I want to hear it.”

She looked into his eyes. He was a cold hearted murderer. Even if he was doing it for a “good cause”, it still made her skin crawl.

“He was part of the league.” “So?” Hawks swallowed, looking down at his hands. “Look, I'm sorry, okay?” “I don't know why you’re apologizing to me.” “Because you're my girlfriend and I shouldn't have done that while you were right there.” “You shouldn't have done that at all. Hero or not. And to be honest, I don't know if I want to be your girlfriend anymore.”

The two of them sat in silence for a while. Hawks twiddled his fingers and her hands were shaking on her thighs. “I love you.” She turned to Hawks, who was almost in tears. She turned away from him, humming in response and looking at the sky. “Keigo. I'm going to go help some others out. We’ll talk about it later.” “Okay.” She got up and walked away, not looking back.

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wordsbymae · 2 years

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thought of yan! wonka inviting his dear friend aka you to visit his factory but his gonna be so creepy the whole time like oh no! did whipped cream charlie accidentally spritz you some cream? did you accidentally fell from the choco lake and now you have to wear his coat(with nothing underneath cause willy talked you out of it its very uncomfortable)??? oh darling its alright you can just wear his coat and then' and then you obviously have to use the elevator cause the factories soo big and you know those things are fast so you really cant blame him if he accidentally grinds his crotch to your barely covered ones can you??? aIGHRWIEUFGWOFJWA IMMA ASK IN ANNON CAUSE AHHH EMBARRASSING

It's hard to get tone right over written/typed words so I just want you to know I am not making fun of you or being mean if anything this made me giggle a bit, yes in confusion but it was good confusion.

It's a thought.

Not to sound mean, I mean this with love, but it took me 2 whole days to try and figure out if this was a joke. I still don't know whether to take this seriously. I was traumatised by that guy who did sexy dances as Wonka on tik tok so now I have a physical reaction to the sight of Wonka or even the name, and it's a bad physical reaction. To be honest I don't really understand the appeal? For me Wonka is like the least sexist man who ever existed, I see no ounce of sexual appeal, but that's cause I first watched Johnny Depp's Wonka and that man worked hard to be the weirdest, funky little weirdo imaginable. However! I suppose I can see the appeal in Gene Wilder's Wonka, but that's cause I had a crush on him in Blazing Saddles.

I do have to say though the way you worded the ask actually had me rethinking my initial disgust so good on you for that.

Also don't feel embarrassed! We all have things we like that others might find embarrassing but it's just who we are. Sometimes what we like is bordering weird (or just plain weird) but as long as it doesn't hurt anyone or exploit anyone, it's harmless and you should like what you like.

p.s I love pervy yans so yes to that! Especially when they have it all planned out and can barely contain themselves and they have to try to be sympathetic to what's happening and try to pretend to be oblivious to it all.

Lots of love mae xx

#mae answers

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i-cant-sing · 3 years

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Yandere Rei Hurting Reader Pt2

Yes yes. Its out now. I won't delete this one. Enjoy!

Part 1 is here. Part 3 here.

Check out my MASTERLIST for more!

Yandere Todoroki Clan:

It had been so awful at first. So hard for everyone to adjust to the new change. Of course, it was especially difficult for you to adapt to the new circumstances.

When you had first woken up after the unfortunate incident, approximately 3 days later, you didn't expect to be home so soon. You expected- you hoped that you would wake up in the hospital and have them call the authorities. Then again, you also didn't expect never being able to use your eyes again.

Shotou was the first one to notice when you had woken up from your coma. He hadn't left your side since the accident. He jumped from his seat beside you and held the glass of water to your lips when you tried to speak. The family came rushing in when he called for them, announcing that you had woken up. You could hear Fuyumi and her crying tears of joy as Natsuo came to check your vitals. You knew your eyes were bandaged, which was expected because of the hot oil that was poured on them, but when you asked Natsuo when they were coming off, he went silent. Your heart sank when he told you what had happened, how your eyes were fucking fried to the point that the arteries supplying them were also destroyed, which meant they couldn't be replaced, ever.

You screamed a lot that day; you would've cried but you didn't have any tear ducts. You didn't let anyone touch you at first, especially Rei. You would scream, throw yourself away from her if you felt her come near you. Eventually, Natsuo put some sort of tranquilliser into your IV, finally calming you down.

Being blind was hard, you knew that. But you didn't know that it would also be this humiliating. After the accident, they had starting infantalizing you even more, doing the most miniscule things for you.

Shotou would be the first person who greeted you in the morning and usually the last person to put you to bed at night. He would carry you around everywhere you go, telling you its simply unsafe for you to walk on your own. Sure you bumped into the furniture a few times and it was a bit hard maintaining your balance, but that didn't mean you needed him to carry you around everywhere. You had asked him to get you a cane, but he only said "why do you need a stick when you have me? Just tell me where you want to go".

Each morning, Shotou would take you down the stairs to the toilet and more often than not, have Fuyumi come and help you, even for brushing your teeth. Then he would take you to the dining table where everyone is waiting for you. Fuyumi would give your breakfast to Shotou, who would cut it up and feed you. Once you're done eating, you would wait for Shotou to finish his food. During breakfast, everyone would make small talk while you remained quiet. After everyone's finished eating, Fuyumi and Rei would take dishes to sink. You would've helped, but everyone's pretty much forbidden you from entering the kitchen.

Shotou would then carry you either to his room or the living room, where he would turn on the TV and tell you what's happening. But since this always makes you remember how you don't have eyes, he would usually just read you some book. Somehow, they're always about princesses and fairytales. You were getting sick of hearing them.

Fuyumi would later come and fetch you, and take you to your bath. While you would be cleaning yourself, after politely declining help from Fuyumi each time, she would be out preparing your clothes for the day. She would explain to you what you're wearing and how you look, and how she's going to style your hair. As if any of these things mattered to you. But even if they did, its not like you'd have a say in anything.

You still remember the first time you were taking a bath, after finally convincing Fuyumi to let you have the "luxury" to clean yourself up. You finally had some time for yourself, alone and away from the rest of the house. You sank in the warm water in the tub, allowing yourself to relax. The privacy was comforting, but not long lasting, as you felt cold hands touch your shoulders. In an instant, you jumped away screaming. "GET AWAY FROM ME! GET AWAY! GET AWAY!" Rei tried coming closer to you but you kept on screeching at the top of your lungs, alerting the whole house. "FUYUMI! SHOTOU! GET HER AWAY! SHOTOU GET HER AWAY!" At that point you didn't even care if they saw you nude, they just need to save you from her. The siblings rushed to the bathroom and upon seeing your huddled form in the corner and their mother sobbing, Fuyumi hastily covered you with a towel while Shotou took Rei out of there.

Shotou tried to make you understand that Rei was just trying to help you. That she just missed you and wanted to take care of you. He was basically telling you not to be afraid of her, and that your trauma is not valid. You stopped talking to him after that, only spoke when absolutely necessary.

Natsuo would pick you up after your bath while Fuyumi went to make lunch. He would check your eyes (or lack there of), put on some ointments and replace the bandages with fresh ones. Fuyumi would come with your lunch and after she'd fed you, Natsuo would give you your medicine. They always make you sleepy, so you'd be put down for a nap.

Dabi wasn't always around, but when he was, he was still the asshole he was before. He would move your things to different places, or place stuff in your way so that'd you'd trip (he always caught you before you face planted), all so that you would ask him for help he could get a rise out of you. But you would just sigh and move on.

Enji liked to take you to the garden and read you books and newspapers. It was alright you guess, but you wanted to do something yourself, especially since they still didn't take you out of the house. You had asked him for a Braille, but he only replied "You don't need to stress yourself with that. I'll always be there to read you whatever you want."

If Enji's running late, then Shotou would take you to the swings in the garden, pushing you as he tells what happened at school or with friends. After dinner, you’d be forced to spend some more time with your siblings, before you’d be tucked into bed.

That has been the routine for the past 6 months since your accident. And the family really felt like everything was returning to normal. It was, for them. This is how they always wanted things to happen: you, locked up in the house while they stripped you of all autonomy and infantalized you to the point where it was harming you, both physically and mentally. Your body was growing weak, your muscles got easily fatigued from their lack of use. And the pills Natsuo gave you didn't really help the case. They made you sleepy, and you think they even caused hallucinations since you felt like someone was in your room or someone was playing with your hair.

Even though you were stuck at home all day, you still never talked to Rei. Well she tried, but you would be the one to always flinch away. She wouldn't address herself when she entered your room, but you would still feel her lurking around the corners. And why should you acknowledge her? Especially after what she's done?

Enji wasnt ignorant of your condition. He could see how quiet you had gotten, and how scared you were of Rei. He was getting worried for you. What were you thinking about? Enji knew if he didn't talk to you, things will get worse.

You were sitting by the lounge window with Fuyumi who was telling you about her day. Fuyumi greeted him when he came in the room. "Hey, dad!" Enji nodded. "Fuyumi, would you leave us? I'd like to talk to Y/n." Fuyumi nodded, pressing a kiss to your forehead before she left the room, only Enji noticing how you stiffened at her affection. He sat beside you and cleared his throat. "How are you?" "Fine. You?"you softly asked. "I'm good, too. I wanted to talk to you about something. About...your mom." "My mom's dead." Enji cleared his throat. "I meant Rei." "Oh. What about her?" "Why haven't you been talking to her?" You remained silent. “What happened was an accident-” “It wasnt an accident. An accident is spilling milk. Not pouring hot oil in someone’s eyes.” Enji knew this was coming.“She didn’t do it on purpose-” You cut him off again. “She did! She knew exactly what she was doing.” “Why would she do that?” “I don’t know. She hates me or something.” Enji grabbed your hand gently. “You know that's not true. Rei loves you very much and she cares about you a lot.” You didn't say anything. “Do you remember the day you came to our house?” You nodded. “Yeah. It was a few days after my parents funeral.” “Yes. And do you remember what Rei said to you?” You stiffened before nodding again. “She said that she may not be my real mother, but she’ll love me more than anyone ever has and ever will. Always.” “Yes. And has she not? Has she not loved you more than anyone?” You nodded slowly as Enji continued. “Between you and me, she’s always favoured you among all of your siblings.” You smiled at that. “So, are you willing to give your mother a chance?” You paused for a few minutes. “I- I cant.” Enji sighed. “Look. I know you’re scared. I understand. I know you want to blame Rei for what happened, but believe me when I tell you it wasn't her fault. It was an accident.” You shook your head. “And what if another “accident” like that happens again? And what if I dont survive this time? And what if-” Your voice broke down. Enji pulled you into his lap. “It won't. I promise. And if something like that does occur, I’ll be there to stop it.” Enji pressed a kiss to your hair. “I’ll save you. I promise.”

With Enji's persuasion, you had started mending your relationship with Rei again. Sure, you still flinched when she touched you and you were still hesitant to initiate conversations with her, but none of that bothered Rei. You were trusting her again, and she was more than happy to do more on her part to make you comfortable.

And you won't lie, but life was better with Rei. She knew when Dabi or Shotou were becoming too overbearing, or when Natsuo was fussing over you for no reason. She was there to stop Fuyumi from chatting your ear away, and knew when to stop Enji from feeding you too many sweets.

And Enji could see that Rei was sorry for what she did. He saw how she would often massage ointments on your face, her fingers barely tracing the charred area around your eyes before pulling away quickly. And other times, like today, as he stood by your bedroom door, he saw how gentle she was with you as she tucked you into your bed. He kissed his wife once she had left your room. "How are my girls doing?" Enji asked Rei in a hushed voice, not wanting to wake you up. Rei smiled. "Good." They slowly started walking back to their room. "Shes an angel, Enji. So sweet." Enji hummed in agreement. "Can I tell you something?" Enji stopped and turned to face his wife. He raised an eyebrow. "I'm kind of glad what happened...to her." Rei was smiling. "She's so much better like this. So docile now. I...I don't regret what I did, you know?" Enji's blood ran cold. "Rei... dont tell me- you didn't do that on purpose, did you?" Rei nodded, a bit too eagerly. "I know, I know. It wasn't ethical. And if I could, I would've taken away her pain in a heartbeat. But you must agree that its much better now, right?" Enji couldn't believe what Rei was confessing. "I mean, look at her now. She doesn't even try running away. She knows- she feels safer with us, inside." Rei sighed, running a hand through her hair. "I thought that maybe it wouldn't come to this. I thought that after Touya took care of her parents, she'd be a bit more scared to be outside on her own. That's why we told her they died in a car crash." Rei rested her cheek on his chest. "It scares me what I'm willing to do for her, Enji." Enji knew Dabi had something to do with what happened to your parents, but knowing Rei had a hand in it too, or more precisely, she was the one who told Touya to get rid of them. Enji didn't know what to do with this new side of his wife. But he did know he had to keep her hidden from you, so he ushered his wife to their bedroom, not knowing you had already heard them.

You had realised a couple of things that night. One, Rei and Dabi had murdered your parents. Two, Rei pouring the hot oil in your eyes wasn't some sort of psychotic episode. Three, Enji and the others were going to take Rei's side, no matter what.

A few weeks later, your birthday came around. The siblings had left the house to get some things for your birthday party, leaving you in the care of their parents. Rei was in the kitchen cooking up a whole feast for you, while you sat beside Enji in the lounge as he read the newspaper. Enji had already given you your present. It was giant teddy bear with chocolates from Belgium. They were utterly delicious. When you stood up, he asked you where you were going. You pointed at the box of chocolates in your hand. "I'm going to share them with, mom. Unless, thats not okay?"you asked meekly. Enji still wasn't all that comfortable with letting you and Rei be alone, especially after her confession. But... if he doesn't let you go to her alone, you'll always be afraid of her. And its not like Rei will hurt you again, right? Besides, the kitchen is just down the hallway. He's sure nothing will happen. He nodded. "Okay. Should I walk you there?" "No. Its down the hall. I think I'll be fine on my own." Enji then allowed you to go, telling you to call for him if you need anything.

Rei was chopping up some vegetables when she heard your footsteps. She turned around to find you standing just outside the kitchen. "Hey, angel! What are you doing here?" You remained outside the kitchen as you spoke. "I wanted to share these chocolates dad got for me. W-would you like some?" Oh, you're so kind. Rei quickly wiped her hands on a kitchen towel before walking towards you and leading you to the dining room in front of the kitchen. She helped you sit down before taking a seat next to you. "You want me to have your chocolates? But didn't daddy gift them to you?" You bit your lip as you replied. "Well yes, but I- I wanted to share them with you so that I could- I wanted to thank you for taking care of me. And for loving me. I would've gotten you something else but I'm not allowed to go outside..."you mumbled the last sentence, but that didn't matter as Rei quickly hugged you. "Oh honey! You're so sweet!" Rei took a piece of chocolate from the box that you had extended towards her. "And these chocolates are so delicious! Daddy really loves to spoil you, doesnt he?" Rei pinched your cheek gently. You smiled. "I'm glad you liked them. Especially, after all you've done for me. You deserve them more than I do, honestly." Rei stopped at that. "Honey...what are you talking about?" You smiled. "What? Am I not saying the truth? You deserve these chocolates, and all the sweets and flowers and medals for being the best mother." You popped a chocolate into your mouth before continuing. "After all, the criteria is very high. You need to not only have the intent to kill for your child, but you also have to commit murder. Then kidnap your child and force her to bide to your rules. And if she misbehaves, you must punish her as well, right? Because good behaviour gets chocolate," You popped another chocolate into your mouth. "And bad behaviour gets your eyes fried."

Rei just stared at you in disbelief. H-how did you- you didn't hear them talking last night did you? Or did Dabi tell you? Rei stared at you as you ate another piece of chocolate. "I wonder after you've killed me, will you be given chocolates or flowers?" "D-darling, w-what are you saying? I would never hurt you!" You chuckled darkly. "No no. You've done it before and I know you'll do it again. After all, it scares you what you're willing to do for me." You caressed her cheeks, and when you felt her tears, you wiped them. "I'm not saying you have the intention to kill me. No, you'll just hurt me again, another little accident, but this time I won't survive. I just hope you'll bury me somewhere where there's a lot of fresh air, maybe on a hill with a view?" Rei finally broke down at that, falling to her knees as she clung to your legs. "Please! Y/n please forgive me! Please baby, I- I just wanted the best for you. I don't want you to die, I- I promise I'll never hurt you again! I'm sorry! I'm sorry. Please baby, I'll do anything. Just forgive me!" You sighed. "Anything? I don't think you mean that." Rei nodded her vigorously, tears falling everywhere. "I do! I do! Just tell me what to do!" You tapped your chin, pretending to think. "Bring a knife. A sharp one." Rei's eyes widened. "W-What?" "Well...its only right for you to be punished as well. To atone for your sins, right?" "O-okay." Rei went to the kitchen and brought a big knife with her. "Lock the door." She did as you told her. You extended your palm, waiting for her to place the knife. She did. You stood up, right in front of Rei. You told her to stand against a wall, and she followed. You played with the sharp end if the knife. "I want to hurt you. I want to hurt you so bad. I want you to feel the pain, the hell you've put me through." This is it, Rei thought, you're going to kill her. For some reason, she was okay with that. "I want you to know you failed. I want you to know you're a bad mother. A selfish, bad mother." Rei was full on sobbing now. "Look at me. I want you to remember this." And with that you raised the knife before stabbing yourself in the gut, two screams ripping through the manor. Rei shot towards you, her hands trying to pull the knife away. "What did you do?! What did you do?!" Rei was crying. Enji was banging on the locked door for a few seconds before he burned it down and the sight he was met with...was nothing short of a nightmare.

There you layed on the floor, blood sputtering from your mouth, your shirt stained with blood and Rei. Rei, who was hunched over your body, with a bloody knife in her hand, crying out "I'm sorry! I'm sorry!".

Enji rushed towards you, pushing Rei back roughly. You were coughing up blood, your head turned away from him until you felt him touch your face. "D-daddy..."you whimpered out before your breathing came to a stop.

"No. No." Enji quickly gathered your limp body in his arms, running out of the house towards a hospital. He kept on chanting "no", because he didn't want to believe that he failed to protect you.

That he failed to save his daughter, again.

I had 5 different endings in my mind and Idc if this isn't your preferred ending (the ending I had in my mind was something out of Quentin Tarantino's movie). I'm just glad to be done with it.

Anyways, exams are coming up and I'm not going to be posting a lot.

And ill be taking up your follow up questions/asks for this part! I'll also be answering godfather hawks asks now that this part is out.

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angelictrl · 3 years

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Hi! Can I request some hcs for the brothers + undateables taking care of a gn!MC while they're in hospital? (I'll leave the reason they're in hospital up to you) Thanks!!

DEMON BROS TAKING CARE OF AN MC IN THE HOSPITAL.

ofc !! i'm going to write the undateable ver. and link it here later since this got longer than i thought it would if you don't mind <3

LUCIFER

tries to be there for you but can't stop himself from drowning in his work.

don't get me wrong - he most certainly is attentive to your needs and visits you often - but he still puts all the blame on himself no matter the cause for you being put in the hospital.

this is because it reminds him of when he and his brothers fell.

not only did he have to get accustomed to the devildom, but he had to suffer the loss of his sister, deal with his new demonic form, and raise satan all while being diavolo's righthand man.

so naturally, being the eldest and also the one who started the great celestial war, he always felt at fault for how things turned out; although he'd rather die than say it aloud.

you being put in the hospital makes him feel like he failed you, he failed to save you, failed to protect you, even if he hides it with a poker face and instead drowns in his work.

please - this is one of the only times you'll see a vulnerable luci.

cupping his face tenderly with your hands as he sits by your bedside late at night, he refuses to cry, but definently has a gloomy expression.

he can't lose you too. he cant fail you.

as soon as you're discharged though, he makes sure to keep you by his side more often.

late night office dates, anyone?

he'll hold you close and try to be slightly more affectionate in public.

this whole scenario has reminded him just how mortal you are, and he hates that someone who's just as angelic as you is trapped inside of a fragile and weak body.

MAMMON

clingy asf

probably the first one to find out mc's in the hospital.

he's downright upset at first. normally he's attached to your hip, so the one time he leaves you alone, ya wind up in the hospital? he knew you were too much of a fragile human to be left alone!

he refuses to let anyone near you as you recover - besides the doctors and nurses, of course, but even then he eyeballs them to make sure they're being gentle with you.

he goes on a rant/lecture about how you're just some weak human who needs him by your side and how you shouldn't have gone off on your own, but as soon as you frown or pout while averting your gaze, his whole demeanor flips.

he's just really worried about you.

he's a big tsundere, yes, but he cares so much about you and he's not sure how to convey his emotions as he's never felt this way about anyone before.

"h-hey, i'm not mad at ya. just... i'm your first. no, i don't care if i'm in the middle of a scheme, i'll always make time for ya... so don't go off alone, okay?!"

buys you tons of gifts before and after you've left the hospital

definitely won't leave you alone for the first few weeks of being discharged

really, he's clinging onto you like you have more value than goldie

and truly, he wouldn't admit it, but you do.

LEVIATHAN

probably gets told by one of his brothers since he's hiding out in his room as per usual.

first, he almost summons lotan in anger to get revenge for mc if they got hurt by someone, but whether that is or isn't the case, he soon calms down once he recognizes something.

this is just like the 78th episode of TSL he was watching when the lord of shadows returns the favor to henry for helping him through his familial problems by taking care of him!!

well then. now levi's been inspired to be the best lord of shadows he can for his henry.

oh, and i guess he'll do it anyways because he cares about mc's wellbeing to begin with or wtv... /s

nonetheless, snek boi brings a bunch of games, movies, and mangas to mc as he camps out in their hospital room with them.

you better be prepared to binge watch all of TSL and fall asleep to whatever sounds are coming from his game beside your bed - not that you have much of a choice, anyways.

his brothers probably try to pull him away from you as he's clingy boy #2 and staying up having gaming marathons can't be good for your recovery, so you can bet your little human butt you're going to find yourself staying in levi's room for a couple of days after you've left the hospital.

definently places ruri-chan or any other anime-related stickers on your casts (if you have any) or cheeks to cheer you up.

bonus: he totally tries to sneak in henry 2.0 to keep you company when he can't be there and if he succeeds, he relies on henry to give him reports of your health.

SATAN

pissed if someone else landed you in the hospital. nearly goes on a rampage and his brothers just barely manage to stop him.

probably one of the best people to keep you company once he calms down, though.

definitely visits you at the same hour everyday to bring you books he suggests you read.

if you're not up for reading any, he'll suggest reading them to you, or suggest something else entirely different.

stays overnight a couple times with an audiobook playing in the background or with an open book on his chest.

doesn't mind falling asleep in weird positions anyways considering the way his room is set up.

watches detective dramas late at night when you're asleep like a dork lol

definitely watches cute cat compilations with you if you're feeling down for any particular reason and will stroke your hair to calm you down.

10/10, soft satan is best satan <3

ASMODEUS

probably screams tbh

that can't be good for your skin!! all that stress on top of being sick/hurt is going to make you break out!!

practically dashes to visit you with skin care & beauty products although you're advised not to use them by your doctors atm

asmodeus has never been so salty.

though, he is concerned about your overrall being.

it honestly scares him how much he cares about you. especially in this state because he's never cared so much for anyone else other than his brothers or himself in a long time.

most likely to cry (besides mammon) if you cry since he already has tears stinging his eyes.

he starts neglecting his own nightly routines to stay overnight with you.

if you start to point it out or ask him why he's doing this, he'll just sit there in astonishment processing your words.

you matter so much to him? like, duh, of course he's going to be here, why wouldn't he? he doesn't care about anything else other than you and your recovery right now and-

oh.

you matter... more than him... to him...?

...ya broke him.

when you're asleep, he watches you silently for a change, caressing your cheek delicately with soft eyes focused on your relaxed features.

he gets a strange feeling in his chest - and not like the ones he gets from excitement over his quick hookups - no, no, this one is a foreign feeling. it's, dare he say, euphoric.

BEELZEBUB

just like lucifer, he feels guilty.

he already lost lilith. he can't lose you too.

he probably needs more reassuring that you're going to be okay than you do, honestly.

he plops down onto the couch in your room and intensely stares at your sleeping form as he stress eats.

on a funnier note, he has the nurses doing laps around the hospital bringing him food and he says "it's for mc" to them, but we all know who it's really for.

he's the softest he's ever been with you.

you thought he was a teddy bear before? he's practically made of stuffing by now.

when you're sad, he wants to reassure you, but you look so sickly and frail that he holds you like your glass.

please reassure this behemoth of a man that you're going to be okay, he really loves you and wouldn't forgive himself if he made things worse.

most definitely takes you out to a restaurant to treat you once you've fully recovered.

BELPHEGOR

he already beats himself up over the attic thing, so if anyone had hurt you enough to put you into the hospital, his anger would probably rival the avatar of wrath and they'd go missing.

squeezes himself onto your bed to cuddle you while being mindful of your iv.

if that doesn't work, well, then he just drapes himself over your legs. he's gonna find a way to be with you, and you can't stop him (y'know, unless you flat out tell him or look like you're uncomfortable).

if all else fails, he settles for mushing his cheek against one arm propped against your bedside as his other hand is occupied holding yours.

he's pretty much like one of those therapy cats LMAO

lots n lots of sleepy cuddling. after all, rest is essential for your recovery, right?

when you two can't sleep, you have movie nights bingewatching the worst rated movies and shows in the devildom and the two of you go cinema sins on them.

v clingy after you get discharged and holds you noticeably tighter to his chest.

"stop doing stupid things that could kill you, you idiot."

obey me masterlist. | undateables version.

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ablackfangirlwrites · 3 years

Text

Jealous ll

Part 2!!!! I linked the sone again cause its a bop and I love it also heres pt one!

You had had enough

Thats what you kept telling yourself

As you got ready tonight

You weren't going sit in the house anymore waiting for keigo to show up whenever he felt like it

Tonight you were going out for you

You thought about how you used to have fun, how you used to be happy

And how miserable you had been lately and you decided

If Keigo didnt appreciate you anymore

Then you'd find someone who would

So thats why you found yourself looking in the mirror admiring how well you dressed up tonight to go out

You almost forgot how hot you were when you put in a little effort

You had originally stopped because keigo would tell you how beautiful and perfect you were without make up or anything

But now you were on the prowl for someone new to notice you and keigo's words meant little to nothing to you right now

Tonight you were gonna find someone to show you just a little bit of attention you craved so much and it wasnt going to be keigo

Just then you saw keigo staring at you from the reflection in mirror

he was home unusually eailer

"Dont you have to work?" You asked bitterly

"Where are you going?" He asked ignoring your statement

Sighed and rolling your eyes and picking up your purse you turned to him before leaving the bedroom, "Out. You don't have to wait up for me."

"You're being ridiculous y/n."

He said following you but you ignored him

"Y/n? Y/n?" He kept calling you, "You cant just go out an-"

"And why not?" You turned to him before you left the apartment, "according to you were not even really dating-"

"You know why that is." He told you seriously

You huffed out a fake laugh, "yeah, but its still okay for you to flirt with anyone?"

Keigo didnt respond to that making you chuckle, "Exactly...like I said im going out dont wait up." Then you slammed the door leaving.

You knew you were being unreasonable with him

You knew the two of you needed to just talk and make up

But you kept letting your anger from all your arguments cloud your judgment

Because you just wanted him to feel the same hurt and jealously you had been feeling more then anything

Keigo stared at the door you had just slammed

Things somehow got worse in the following days after your argument on your anniversary

You refused to talk to him

He tried to apologize to you but you basically brushed him off

Keigo wasn't sure what to think you said you hated him, you wouldnt sleep in the bed with him

Yet you hadn't packed up and left so that was good right?

But that distance that was growing between the two of you was wider then before

And he didnt know what to do to fix it

And now you were going out clearly dressed to find someone else

Did you really hate him? Had you really had enough of him?

Hell, he couldnt even blame you if you did he thought

You had put up with so much of him up until now

And maybe some of what you said the other night was true? Had he gotten too comfortable with you always being there?

But that was only because he loved you

Keigo was truly in love with you, and dispite you suspensions he never cheated on you

And he would never do that, you were the only one he wanted even now when you two seemed to be at each others throats

He still wanted you, and he couldn't picture his life without you

So thats why he ended up following you to the bar you were currently at

He made sure you hadnt noticed him staying in the back out of your sight

And he hated what he saw

He saw you having fun

You had met up with some of your girlfriends the three of you all laughing and drinking

You acting like you didnt have a care in the world, like the two of you didnt argue before you left out

Having a good time as if you didnt leave him alone in the house

He watched you dancing as though you were having the time of your life as other mean stared and gawked at you

He watched as a guy singled you out and was clearly flirting with you

And worst you let him and was encouraging him

You kept touching his shoulder laughing at his jokes letting him dance against you

Words couldnt describe the irritation he felt watching

He wanted nothing more then to rip that mans hands off you and fly away with you in his arms

But part of him felt like he deserved this

This feeling he had, was it how you felt?

If so he needed to fix this, was all that he could think

And he was about to go to you, but before he could someone called out his name

"Hey! Hawks is here!"

Fuck he said to himself when a crowd started to form around him

His eyes then connected with yours knowing you heard he was here

And for a moment he thought you were gonna come up to him

But instead you kept talking to the random guy ignoring him

Hawks wanted to go to you and talk to just take you back home

But was having trouble getting away from the crowd

He was all smiles talking to his fans but the whole time he kept his eyes on you

But somehow it became a battle to see who was going to be more stubborn

You continued to dance with the random guy, but now you knew keigo was here watching you

You convinced yourself not to care, you came here to have fun and he wasnt going to ruin it for you

But thats just what he was doing as you watched him talk to some random girl now

He was here to get under you skin, you were sure of it

But two could play this little game

Both of you having this little war with each other watching each other from across the room

And you couldnt lie you were enjoying it a bit

Seeing his eyes watching you, knowing he had to be feeling the sting of jealousy as another man held you close

But It all came to a head when you saw the girl he was dancing with lips on his neck

He wasnt looking at you when you saw that all his attention clearly on her

You couldn't deny the sharp feeling in your chest at the sight

And not wanting to see anymore you left the dance floor telling the guy you needed to go to the bathroom

Hawks pulled away from the handsy fan

Denying anymore of her advances

Yeah he had been trying to get under your skin now but thats was a bit much

But now when he looked up to find you again, only to see you were gone

His stomach sank

Where did you go? You had to had just seen that?

Did you leave with that guy? Hawks started to panic when he didnt seem him either

Where did you go? Why was he being so stupid just now? He should have just went to talk to you

Just then keigo noticed the guy you had been flirting with at the bar and went up to him

"The girl you were dancing with? Where'd she go?"

The guy looked at him like he was crazy "whats it too you?" He challenged him

But keigo wasnt in a playful mood and grabbed the man by the collar, "Answer the question asshole."

The guy quickly put his hands up in defeat, "she just said-

"Hawks?"

He heard his name called out and looked behing him to see you

"What are- you are so unbelievable." Yku shook your head storming off

You couldn't believe him he had the audacity to attack the guy you had been talking to

It didnt take much thought to figure out why

And it annoyed you to no end

So keigo could flirt and let girls kiss all over him but if you had a guy around you that was too much

He was such a hypocrite

You were angry your whole way back home

You stood in the mirror once you got back

But with a different feeling in your stomach then the feeling you had before you left

You felt defeated your plans of fun had been ruined and you felt like your back in the same spot you had been in

Hawks was giving you a little bit of space taking his time getting back home

Because now you were probably madder than before at him

When hr got in he saw you had just got out the shower

"Y/n..."

You heard him call out your name But you ignored him

Y/n, you have to listen to me."

You werent going to turned around but before you knew it he hugged you from behind

"Im sorry."

"Let go of me hawks." You spat out but he didnt budge

"Just listen to me y/n..."

"Why are we doing this to each other?" You asked quietly, "Why do you keep hurting me? What are we even doing? It clearly isnt wor-"

"Ive been an idiot, y/n."

Keigo buried his face in your neck, "I've been so stupid, but please please dont leave me."

You were trying to fight back tears, "I dont want to leave you keigo....but I cant-"

"Dont say you can't with me anymore. I need you." Keigo pleaded holding you tighter

You were so frustrated

You still loved him, you still wanted to be with him, because when things are good between you they're great

But the way your relationship had been it was becoming too much

But you wanted to stay with him

Because you loved him

You moved your hands and held on to his arms secretly enjoying his embrace that you missed so much

"I know you mean well keigo-"

"I love you so much y/n," keigo cut you off again, "I know ive been an asshole, ive been neglectful, ive been the worst, but dont give up on me. Please."

You finally turned around to face him and hugged him back

You could see the sincerity in his eyes as you did "I love you too keigo but I just cant do this- we keep hurting each other...thats not what your supposed to do to the people you love."

Keigo pulled back "You want me to tell everyone about us? I will." He told you, "You want me to tell you everything ive been doing I will, I promise you Ill to whatever it takes to fix us. I dont want to live the way we have anymore."

You knew he was serious and your heart leaped hearing his words but you werent sure

"You're the only one I want y/n" he said giving you a light kiss

Almost like he was asking for permission

"Ill do whatever it takes for you to forgive me."

He said inbetween kisses, "you're so important to me, im sorry i made you think you weren't."

You couldnt lie he was finally saying everything you wanted to hear

And you wanted to believe him

"You promise?" You asked him

"I promise."

#bnha imagines #bnha x reader #bnha headcanons #mha x reader #bnha hawks #mha hawks #bnha keigo #keigo takami x reader #my hero academia keigo takami #hawks x reader

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kylosgenesis · 3 years

Text

Teardrops on Fire

Synopsis:

Steve Rogers is the last Alpha of the an almost extinct Lycan pack. With only less than 100 members left. Steve must produce an heir to ensure the species survival and reduce the chance of attacks from others. Omegas are rare, and betas have a hard time producing children. Steves reality is finally setting in as his obligation of producing an heir faces a major set back.

Reader is the last suitable omega to mate with Steve, due to the fear of her daughters fate in the pack, her mother kept her hidden from the pack after her own exile. Only her mother, and Bucky's family know of her existence. Bucky is Steve's right hand man, and the packs best warrior! He and the reader developed a friendship and bond over the years, but age forced them to become distant.

What happens when she presents and her first heat cycle comes? Her body is in excruciating pain and a strong fever quickly overcomes her body. Facing the fear of her daughters possible death, her mom calls on the only person who can save her at this point, Alpha Steve! Bucky and the alphas friendship will be tested. The reader will be faced with her love for Bucky or her duty to the pack.

Unbeta'd: There might be spilling mistakes ( English is my second language so please be kind)

Authors note: We've made it past the filler chapters. I cant wait for the next chapter. You know when you come up with a whole story just because of one little scene on your head? thats next chapter for me. We'll be making a little time jump.

*Other Authors note at the end*

Chapter 7: I really wish I hated you

You woke up early for your morning jog, excited about your first day having a job.

When you heard Natasha mention she needed extra help at the pub, you didn’t know what possessed you to volunteer, but you were determined to have as much of a normal life as possible and this was your first step.

The air was wet from last night's rain, and the temperature had started to drop enough to require a jacket on your runs.

You finished the run in record time, and got ready for your first day. Thankfully Wanda had given you some of her old clothes, and Natasha was kind enough to let you borrow some of hers or else you would have been in the same worn clothes you'd arrived in. Steve had offered to take you shopping yesterday, but you didn’t feel comfortable with the thought. For 19 years you’d taken care of yourself and your mom, you were strong , and you didnt wanna forget that.

It’s incredible how much you’d let the past weeks change you, you felt out of place, out of mind. But having something for yourself again was once step closer to feeling your old self again.

You finished getting ready, and started coffee for Nat who would be waking up any moment now as her grouchy morning self. Just a few days with her had let you know she wasn’t the friendliest in the morning. You laughed at the mug on the counter that had the words ‘Don’t talk to me till I’ve had my coffee’ in bold letters. It fit her perfectly! Whoever gifted it to her hit the nail in the spot.

Despite not being too familiar with coffee before, it became a comfort to you. You developed a live hate relationship with the liquid, by itself it was the most disgusting thing you’d ever tasted. And you had made tea out of wild mushrooms once, so that was saying a lot. Once Nat introduced you to French vanilla creamer, you’d become addicted to it.

Setting up the two mugs on the counter you prepared your cup, before listening for the footprints coming from down the hallway.

Even with morning hair, and a red face from recently washing. Nat was easily the most beautiful woman you’d ever seen. She was all and every one of the main characters in your favorite books.

“Good morning, Nat” you handed her the coffee mug, as she still looked half asleep.

She took a couple of more sips of the liquid before you saw her soul come back into her body. She leaned against the counter while swinging and finishing the contents of her mug.

“Someone’s excited” she said with a small laugh.

“ohhhh really? What gave it away? “ you had finished your coffee, and were just pacing around the kitchen waiting for Nat.

“Well... you’re usually a morning person, but today you’re even more of a morning person than usual.” She set her mug in the sink , and reached for the hair tie in her wrist as she neatly gathered her hair into an effortless ponytail.

“ I don’t know how you do it, but I hope it will rub on me at some point” you both laughed.

You were almost ready to leave when Nat reentered the kitchen with a hairbrush and some pins.

“Nat , if that's your way of saying I need to fix my hair we’re going to be late, I’m sure it’s fine. “

She motioned you to the seat near the counter and you sat down. Trying to protest against Natasha would get you nowhere.

“First of all you’re never late if you own the place” she started slowly brushing the ends of your hair as you relaxed at the gentle massage of the brush.

“Second, you’ve been wearing the same ponytail since I met you. You have a new life, and a new job.” You felt her take a small strand from the front of your hair, and pin it to the back, and the same motion on the other side.

“ My mom always said when you look good, you feel good! And I want you to be a strong confident woman” she put all the products on the counter as she took your face upon her hands.

“ You deserve to be happy and besides… you might bump into anyone in this town. So you better look good” she laughed

“I'm telling you, those old ladies can be mean!” Nat made her best impression of one of them ”back in my day we wouldn't leave the house unkept… no alpha would ever settle for that. I don't know what's with this new generation” she sounded so funny you couldn't help but snort as you broke in laughter.

When you both regained your composure she forms loose strands around your face “ ohhh shit, now we might actually be a little late. Come on!”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

As you arrived at the pub, there was already a white truck in the parking lot. Nat took the keys out of her purse, and tuned the lock. The place certainly looked different without the lights or people, but it still felt cozy to you. Coming from the back was a faint light, and you could hear some thrashing noises. Nat didn’t seem bothered, so she just tuned in the rest of the lights and you flooded her to the kitchen. His smell hit you before he even rounded the corner. He came into the kitchen holding a large box that blocked his view.

“Hey Bucky” you waved at him. Causing him to drop the box. The sound of metal falling as it hit the floor.

You and Nat just stared at bucky's confused gaze. Before Nat cleared her throat.

“I should’ve told you yesterday, but she’ll be starting to work with us. I thought it would be a good idea for her to get to know everyone.”

Bucky bent down to pick the spilled contents of the box, you followed after gathering a few of the metal tools.

“I hope it’s okay with you?” You asked him, not really knowing how he'd respond.

“ Yeah, it’s fine by me” he said with a nervous tone as you handed him the pieces from your hand, and you felt a current run down your spine at the contact of his hand against yours, which he quickly removed.

You all exited the kitchen towards the bar where he placed the box

“I couldn’t sleep last night, so I came over. Thought maybe I could clean the inventory room, but I noticed the beer tap wasn’t working“

“It seemed to be working just fine yesterday, Barnes”

“By just fine, you mean extremely slow pull time? “ he turned to face nat caring the large box out of the room with you both following suit.

“ then it works like a charm ” he made the snarky remark towards Nat, but you couldn’t help to notice his eyes were on you the whole time.

“Fine, but don't break it more” she pointed at him. “ last time you tried to fix something the AC was down for three days”

“And you're never gonna let me forget that wont you?

“Nope” she was already walking away from him as she responded.

“I’ll have it running by opening” he kneeled in front of the small fridge, under the beer tap. .

“Who’s gonna order a beer at 10 in the morning?” You asked, watching over his shoulder as he tweaked with the mechanisms of the fiter on the inside

“ You’d be surprised!” He looked back at you, noticing you already holding the wrench he was looking for.

“Thanks” He smiled, and took the wrench from you. You hadn’t seen him like that in 10 years, he seemed relaxed!

“Howd you learn to do that?” he turned back to face you surprised at your choice of tool.

“ the fridge broke down a couple of times on us, so i learned from taking it apart and back together...after a while you get good at mechanics” you laughed

I still wouldnt trust me to fix it though. Id rather you take the blame if it doesnt work”

“Playing devils advocate now? “ he was flushing water through the hose system before turning on the machine again. You watched attemptively at his concentrating gaze.

“No… id just rather stay on Nat’s good side.”

“Good choice! She punches hard” he seemed relax with you. It made you feel tingly inside as you both had a sense of normality after 10 years.

“Not as hard as me!“ you reapplied

“Definitely not. I still get phantom pains from those” you both laughed.

You patted his shoulder as you got up to Shadow Nat.

Bucky grabbed your arm before you turned to leave. It's nice to see you! … you look... “ he eyed you head to toe and you felt his gaze linger on your hair “ you look beautiful!”

You felt drawn to him, just being around him brought you comfort in a way you couldn’t explain.

You both felt a tug as you left with Nat, turning back to take a glance at him and noticed he had his eyes glued on you.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Once the rush after lunch was over you were wiping down the tables. You felt the exhaustion of the job begin to take over.

You knew it wasn’t going to be easy, but compared to your daily tasks back at the cabin. It was a different kind of exhaustion.

“Don't quit on me just yet” Nat said as she voiced a tray of cups to the back.

“Not yet, but I definitely didn’t know how much people can drink before 3 o’clock” you both laughed as you wiped down the last few of the tables. So far you’d just used the tap, or poured some easy drinks. As the day got slower, Nat promised to train you on some specialty stuff.

You held on to the table as you felt a dizzying feeling deep through you, then you felt a pair of arms behind you.

“Here!” Bucky placed a cup of water in front of you as you eagerly reached for it and frank it entirely in a few gulps.

“Thank you, I should probably start keeping track of how much I owe you every time you rescue me”

You turned back to face him.

“How did you know?”

“ I could feel it through the..” He didn’t have to say it but you knew what he was referring to.

“Ohhh so that’s what that one is” You looked amused as you stared at him.

“I can’t always tell what the bond is trying to say, but I guess being an alpha just makes it easier to interpret ” he was starting to walk away as the words where leaving his mouth

“Is that why you were avoiding me ?” He stopped on his tracks.

“ I wasn’t avoiding you!” He turned to you.

“It kinda seemed like you were.” you stood your ground and placed your hands crossed around your chest in an effort to appear more composed.

“The past weeks I’ve just thought of you, and this bond! “ you pointed at your neck “ I had this voice that kept telling me I wasn’t good enough.”

You felt the pent up feeling of fear, sadness, and frustrations of a few weeks finally leave.

“You know Bucky, I can’t tell what the bond is trying to say, cause I haven’t spent enough time with you to even know how to read you.” You felt the tears stream down your face as the knot on your throat cleared

Bucky walked towards you pulling you into an embrace, just as the tears began to stream down your face. His smell calming you, and his heartbeat merging with yours as he allowed himself to let go of his fear.

“I will always be inclined to take care of you “ he said, burying his head into your hair. While you continued to embrace him.

“Not just because of the bond, but because I loved you more than anything once” you felt your heart stop at his words.

“I thought I hurt you, and I couldn’t forgive myself. But I realized I was running away. That's why I was staying away! “ he lifted your head, and you felt the honesty of his words when you looked into his eyes.

“I missed you ... you know all those years I thought I did something wrong.” You said with choked words.

“ I loved y...”

You both heard the sound of shattering glass. You responded first separating yourself from Bucky and running towards the source. Bucky cursed under his breath, and ran after the source as well.

You walked into the kitchen to see a couple of bottles shattered on the floor. The liquid contents inside spilled all over the floor. You leaned over and started picking up the large pieces of glass.

“You guys alright? “ Nat stormed the kitchen not knowing what she’d find.

“Yeah, we're fine ” Bucky said, examining the room. “We were in the main room, and heard the crash, we thought you were injured”

“Peter must’ve put the bottles on the edge... that boy is going to be the death of me. I'll go get the mop ” you saw Nat had retreated to the pantry.

“Here, let me help you” Bucky was helping you scoop the pieces of glass.

“Careful!” You looked at Bucky and laughed at his worry “ Buck, I’ve been skinning prey with knives shapelier than this since I was 5 ... I think I can handle some glass.”

He was looking at you in awe, you realized after the words had left your mouth “ I haven’t heard you say Buck in a long time” He smiled at you.

“ ohhh that’s cause you used to say it made you think of deer” you were picking up the last pieces.

“ I was a growing boy... always hungry”

He helped you up, and you noticed he used his metal arm to do so.

He noticed you staring, he was wearing a tight black t-shirt. It was short sleeved which you hadn’t seen him wear yet.

“Does it hurt?” You traced your fingers through the cold metal.

“ Not physically, sometimes I forget it’s there” he admired the way your eyes fell fascinated with the metal segments and the mechanism as he flexed.

“Hey, Bucky do you mind cleaning the spill? I’ve got a few minutes, so I’d like to show her some drinks” Nat walked into the kitchen with the industrial mop.

“I got it” he winked at Nat.

He smiled at you as you left the kitchen, and you felt your heart skip a beat at that smile.

You hoped he wasn’t actively trying to spy on you through the bond or else you might be caught in a vulnerable position.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You and Nat collapsed into the couch at the end of a long day.

“ My feet are killing me! “ you massaged the soles of your feet as you eyed Nat get comfortable on the couch.

“ You get used to it!...ohhh gods I can’t wait to shower”

“You say that, but you’re in fact getting more comfortable ” you teased at her.

“I never said I’d shower right now” She threw one of the pillows next to her at you and just as you were about to return the gesture.

Lights lit up the living room from outside as a car approached.You heard a door shutting and the sound of footsteps approaching the house.

“ I’ll go check it out” you stood up and walked to the door, just as someone was about to knock you opened the door.

“Steve, hey how’s it going? “ you felt the same nerves you felt meeting him the first time.

“ Good... good” you could see his breath as he spoke in the cold of the night. His hands were tucked in his jacket pockets.

“Would you like to go on a walk ?” he motioned to the trail along the house.

“Sure!” You hesitantly stepped out of the comfort of Nat’s house and into the cold night. You were still getting to know Steve, so the ambiance still felt awkward around him. You just followed his lead and waited for his next words.

“ I was wondering how your first day went? ... I wanted to stop by, but Wanda needed me at the school” he faced you as you walked together.

“ It went very well! We had actually just gotten home! “ you were cradling your elbows in a hug trying to preserve your body’s warmth from the house.

“It was a lot to learn, but Nat and Bucky made it a lot easier on me” you replied with a small laugh, but noticed Steve’s eyes glued on you. His jaw tensing up at the mention of Bucky from your mouth.

“That’s good...” he noticed you shiver, he took off his jacket and handed it to you. It was a kind gesture. The jacket just smelled like him. You felt his smell overwhelm the faint traces of Bucky.

“Are you excited?“

“ Well yes ....?it’s been really good so far, I can’t wait to get the hang of it” you picked at the strand of hair surrounding your face tucking it behind your ear.

“So he didn’t tell you?” Steve said with a snark

“Tell me what? “ you felt your heart speed up.

“Bucky made a deal with the Wakandan's Coven... they are going to undo the mating. Next full moon you’ll be free again.”

You could tell he was awaiting a reaction, he just crept closer till you could feel his breath in your skin.

You felt lightheaded at his words “ that’s... news”

You felt tears stream down your eyes. Today things had felt like they were always meant to be. Bucky had made you feel like you could trust him.

But he had known, and you fell for it! Once again you felt like a part of someone else's agenda, not your own. Just an omega, in a world of alphas.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Authors Note:

Do you think the bottles were an accident?

Tags:@dottirose @tanyaherondale @iloveshawnieboi @marmite79 @austynparksandpizza @nerdgirljen @exposition-belongs-somewhere @patzammit @connie326 @blessedwedgie

#alpha bucky x omega reader #alpha bucky #alpha steve rogers #alpha steve x omega reader #alpha beta omega #omegaverse #omega reader #alpha bucky barnes #alpha steve rogers x omega reader #alpha Bucky barnes x reader

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i-am-content-with-this-content · 7 years

Text

This week goes down as my most stressful of the semester and I have no one to blame but myself and society

#i hate it so much #my ap english teacher is all over the place and just when i think i finished my work #she goes and uploads an example with much more information at nearly 11 in the fucking night #like she had a week to explain the work to us but instead she lets is figure it out instead??#and then 1 hour before its fucking due she finally tells us how its supposed to be done???#i am sooo done with that class #and then theres my asl class too #i have no idea whether i passed my written midterm cause i added those points up and im pretty sure i slid by with 30/50 #and then my stupid video presentation was due at 9pm #and do y'all wanna know when it finally uploaded and submitted?#at 9:01 pm #i cant blame anyone for that one though cause i had a whole day to do it but yknow what #society was the one who made me into a procrastinator so if theres anyone to blame than its society #theres also my coding club that started off with 10 girls at the beginning of the semester and now theres only 3 #thats including me #....yeah #im gonna go and drink a bottle of bleach if this night gets any worse #nat rants #im sorry you guys #im just really stressed and tired and very burnt out

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diavolosthots · 3 years

Note

Could you make a fic about mc becoming an angel and (boyfriend) Beelzebub is not completely comfortable with it. And that mc will (literally) fall for him

I cant hurt the baby too much... 👉👈 fuck okay

Warning: angst -> happy ending

My Angel ( BEELZEBUB X GN!READER )

He tried so, so hard not to compare you to her. He tried to forget about everything he knows now and just be with you, but it was so hard when everyone around him always brought it up. To him, it wasn’t a fact he felt like he should care about. You were your own person; your own being. You had angel’s blood inside of you, yes, but that meant nothing when you had a human heart of pure gold. He loved you, so much, and he was sure to tell you every single day that he had the honor of holding you in his arms. Being cheesy wasn’t always up his alley, but you were different. He feared the day you would leave him and that’s why he had to make sure to be present every day; so he could be with you every single day.

But then you disappeared. Literally. He looked away for one second and you were gone. The whole Devildom was turned upside down in an attempt to find you again, screaming out your name in the process. For days the search went on, alerting all the brothers and even Lord Diavolo, but to no avail. Beel was… crushed. Heartbroken. Confused. He even went as far as to blame the Demon Lord himself, ending up in him being scolded by Lucifer immediately, but he didn’t care. He locked himself in the attic like Belphie did so often, finding comfort in his brother’s familiar scent; family. You are family too, and he hated not having you here. He felt lonely.

For weeks he continued to search for you, until he thought he was going crazy. Flashes of bright light would appear in the corner of his eyes, confusing him, making him think someone was there, but no one ever was. Sudden rushes of warmth would caress over his skin, causing him to shiver instead at the unfamiliar touch, “what…?” He’d deem himself crazy, insane for the lack of sleep he’s been having thanks to your missing presence. Nothing was blamed on you, of course, it was just so much harder with you gone, especially since there was no explanation for it, “(Y/N)...”

“Beel..” His head whipped around, staring out the attic window. The tiny space has somewhat become his comfort zone, something Belphie hated but never said anything against because he hated seeing his brother hurt more. “Beelzebub..” No.. it can’t be.. It was your voice, and his head whipped around right as you appeared in a flash of bright light. He shielded his eyes with his arms, having not seen this in so long, “(Y/N)?” You were gorgeous, standing in front of him. Ropes of white and gold, tangled with a bright blue, covered your body. Beautiful wings spring from your back and you even held up a halo. His eyes went wide, taken aback at what he saw, “what…” But happiness overtook his confusion and he ran to you, lifting you up in his arms and spinning you around.

Happy tears formed at the corners of his eyes as he held you, just happy to have you back. Your laughter resonated in his ears as you held onto him, not wanting to let go either. “How…?” He sat you back down carefully, looking you over, “I… I don’t know. Simeon took me one day, saying it was getting too late… I was so confused.. He took me to the celestial realm and said that Lilith’s… her DNA was spiking up inside of me, and I needed to get out of the Devildom. That’s when this happened… Am I not beautiful?” You twirled around once, a wide grin spreading across your features, but it was not something he could return.

A soft smile grazed his lips instead, more so at the relief that you were okay, rather than what he actually saw. You were beautiful, yes, stunning even, but it hurt to look at you. He doesn’t mind Simeon or Luke, or any angel that isn’t necessarily close to him, but you… you’re human. You’re not supposed to be this… supernatural being. You shouldn’t have to suffer like he does, by being alive for all eternity, “(Y/N)...” But he didn’t tell you that. He couldn’t. Not when he just got you back.

So, for months he hid it. He hid his discomfort, his fear, and his hatred. Not toward you, of course, just toward what you are. He glared at Simeon, too, partially blaming it on him, but mostly, he blamed himself. Had it not been for him looking away, had he just kept you in his arms instead, this would not have happened, he’s convinced of it. His touches became less, his ears were barely listening to you, his facade was slowly breaking. He wouldn’t admit, though, too afraid of hurting you.

But, really, he was hurting you more by the way he looked, or didn’t.

You knew something didn’t sit right with him; you knew… you knew he didn’t like it, but Beelzebub was too good, too lovely to tell you that. Anyone else, yes, but not you. You smiled sadly at him, taking his hand in yours, stroking your thumb over his knuckles, “Beel..” He sighed, trying to keep his hand in yours, although eye contact would not be granted, “I.. I know… It makes you uncomfortable…” Sad eyes turned to yours, looking at you for the first time in months; genuinely looking at you. “I’m sorry..” he didn’t know what else to say. He loved you, so much. He didn’t want to let go, but it was so hard to keep looking at you.

You shrugged softly, a sad smile still playing on your lips, “I don’t want you to hurt anymore… I’ll fall,... for you…” His eyes went wide in shock, his hand squeezing yours tightly, “(Y/N)... t-that’s… no you… can’t..” Of course, part of him.. A sick, sadistic part of him was overjoyed by the thought of you falling, but he didn’t want you to hurt, and it would. It would be agonizing, painful. It’ll feel like your flesh is pulled away from your bones, your soul eating away at your insides. You leaned over, kissing him softly, not giving him more than a though, “be there to catch me?”

He was.

He was there the day you decided to fall, flying up high into the Devildom sky to catch you before you could hit the ground. Strong arms wrapped around your broken frame, the beautiful, pure white, replaced by dark, charcoal black. He cried. Softly landing on his feet as he held you, waiting for you to wake. Feathers burnt off your wings as memories from the war came rushing back into his head. He screamed out, clutching you against his chest and sobbing until you woke, barely mustering a smile.

Your hand reached up to cup his cheek, your gentle touch turning him weaker. “Thank you…for loving me… for letting me love you…”

#obey me #obey me shall we date #obey me headcanons #obey me scenarios #om beelzebub #obey me beelzebub #beelzebub obey me #shall we date beelzebub #beelzebub avatar of gluttony #obey me beel x reader #angst

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shoezuki · 3 years

Text

Tommy's prison/revival arc isnt well written actually

Anyways ive been wanting to talk on it a while for a bit here but havent had the Time or like. The thought to. But im gonna go off now.

First off im gonna say im ASSUMING this stream and plot of tommy being in the prison with dream is written entirely by tommy and dream. Wilbur May be involved in the latest stream but im not sure.

Bringing tommy back to life after only three days of him being dead did practically nothing to progress plot, the characters, or audience's understanding. In fact i feel that it damaged Other characters' potential and plot and already established plotlines.

The 'development' aspect

A really, really easy way to see if anything has changed or developed through an arc or plotline is to straightup just compare the 'beginning' to the 'end' in terms of the barebones situation. So;

Beginning: tommy is trapped in an isolated prison cell with dream, his own abuser who has hurt him in the past, for an unknown amount of time. He's terrified of dream and being stuck there with him.

End: tommy is trapped in an isolated prison cell with dream after being killed then revived by him, his own abuser whos hurt him in the past, for an unknown amount of time. Hes terrified of dream and being stuck there with him.

Okay. This is simplified obvious. But the point stands. ALTHOUGH the troupe of 'going back to the beginning' is common in the heroes journey its. It doesnt work here. Has tommy learned anything? Has he changed as a character? Is the severity of their situation any different? Have we, as the audience, learned anything new?

Im going to expand on that last point because i think it has the strongest potential argument. Technically for progression in literature and development of plot/characters, things can Change without them being Aware as characters. It can change just by the audience's perception changing or being challenge.

Slight example: i've been reading a webcomic called Your Throne. Its a fantasy/political drama about a noble lady who entered a competition with another noble lady to become the empress. The main lady lost despite her being a better fit, and the comic starts with the main lady trying to assassinate the empress. Its assumed and stated by the main lady that she 'ruined her life' and so thats all the readers know. However, later in the novel we see flashbacks to the competition itself and find that the two ladies were extremely close friends, neither wanting anything bad for the other, but it was the emperor himself who manipulated both of them for his own agenda. Those flashbacks gave us an entirely different idea of who the real antagonist is and completely changed the two main ladies' relationship. THAT is how the audience's understanding of the plot and novel can be used to change the entire story. We dont get such here though

Some things that were brought to light during tommy being dead/revived:

Dream is capable of reviving people infinitely

This was already implicated and assumed. The book dream has being a means of reviving people has been around Technically since schlatt's death. This just 'confirmed' what was known

Time works differently/feels longer in the afterlife

This doesnt really impact much beyond emotions and implications. If we had more insight into what the 'afterlife' is like beyond nothingness perhaps so. But really it just makes it so wilbur being dead for what feels like 9 years and tommy having been dead for 2 months appeal to emotions.

Wilbur is evil

This one fuckin sucks i cant lie HSKSHSISSGEGDV. Like i was gon go on bout it and i will but it jus sucks. We have nothing to go on besides tommy's word, no examlles of what Horrible things wilbur said could make tommy assume this, etcetc. Ill most likely make a seperate post on how this feels like we're just going to get 'wilbur is a horrible villain' type with him. But still. I feel wilbur Not Being Good isnt a new development.

Dream is going to revive wilbur

This doesnt feel new either, part because phil had wanted to revive wilbur before (ill get to that more later) and that tommy had kept dream alive/initially imprisoned him with the idea of him reviving wilbur.

Dream believes wilbur will break him out of prison

Okau this makes no sense to me actually. I cwnt understand How exactly wilbur would be able to do this? Or why dream believes he even Could? Mans been dead for like 9 years and all we Know of the afterlife is that its black... nothingness. How would 9 years of that make wilbur capable of busting the prison open?

So. Yeah. All in all this plotline hasnt done anything new, developed things, or altered people's perceptions. We just ended up back at square one. Back to tommy being traumatized, dream being 'evil' and horrible and doing villain monologues, and them being stuck together.

Other characters and plotlines

Im pretty damn sure tommy's revival fucked up a LOT of other characters' plotlines and potential development. Honestly i feel this has a lot to do with the writers not communicating with other ccs well enough. But Ill talk about specific characters from least to most fucked over in my opinion:

Sam

He's the best off. He hqd been there during tommy's death, had been close to tommy, had majorly blamed himself and his own mistakes for tommy's death. His grief and self hatred was actually really heartbreaking and well done. The attached character of Sam Nook being unaware of tommy's death and simply waiting for tommy to return was a really good parallel to sam's own grief and anger. like it really snapped sam the guy who cares for tommy and wants to do Right by him back together with him as the Warden of the prison. Mixed personal life with 'just business'.

I feel it wouldve been nice to have him like. Have more time to grieve properly and come to terms eith tommy's death and his own involvement/influence over the events. Him finding tommy alive again Could be a means of him like. Facing his own grief head on if done well.

Ranboo

Mostly in the context of him and sam's argument do i feel it got screwed over. The weight of them yelling at each other and trying to find who to blame and the implications that Maybe ranboo was the one who caused the security breach that closed down the prison on tommy just.... doesnt hit so hard anymore. Because how can there be blame and arguments and a 'who done it' mystery when tommy popped up all fine again?

Puffy

I dony know much of her involvement or how she found out tommy died (besides metagaming shhhhh) but i saw her monologuing of how they 'failed' tommy and like. Her whole 'he was so young we the Adults failed him' spiel is like........... inconsequential? Now??? Like no dont worry he died but hes alright now.

Philza

BET YOU DIDNY EXPECT TO SEE THIS FUCKER!!!!!! But actually though i want to talk bout how this ties into phil. A LOT. for Zalbr ❤. But also because i see ppl tying phil to tommy's death n like nah shutup u doin it wrong. Ill go off more in a Wilbur Post. But essentially: i dont like that dream is now going to revive wilbur. I feel they arent going to tie philza into this Despite phil having originally been trying to revive his son and studying on it and Attempting and Failing. But now suddenly dream can just. Say some magic words and Poof wilbur lives? So we're just going to Kill philza's revival attempts plotline and leave that hanging? This made his efforts seem pointless and Wack like oh why didnt you just Say The Magic Words phil????

Niki

I feel really bad for niki. She hasnt been able to do a lore stream during tommy's 'death' (she tweeted she wanted to but her computer wasnt working) and considering her entire character.... that shit is important. We seen it with Jack Manifold how tommy's death impacted Him considering he literally wanted tommy dead. And since niki is in a similar boat to jack of trying to kill tommy and it being her Only goal...... thats extremely important.

BUT. i feel there wasnt any communication. Did she or anyone even know tommy would be revived? Did no one consider they could At Least let her do a single stream on it? Like jack manifold????

We couldve gotten a Really good niki lore stream. I genuinely was so excited for it and i dont regularly watch her. But we seen it with jack manifold which is why i dont feel he got screwed because mans genuinely did So Good he could pop off with anything n i think it works in His favour. But now........ for niki. Canonically she never even knew tommy was Dead. So its like nothing even happened for her. Is she just supposed to continue on trying to kill tommy with no progression?

What i think would work

This is more me being like 'hey @ the dsmp writers let me in' type speculation sbosegussgs. But i was thinkin on a Really easy way to 'fix' this without rewriting lore and the streams.

Dream should kill tommy again now that he's been revived and Leave Him Dead.

More development for the characters who are affected by his death Especially niki. More time for grief and self reflection and development

A chance for the audience to figure out what the 'afterlife' really is.

Dream is supposed to be smart and a master manipulator or something right? Why doesnt he use being able to revive tommy as a bargaining chip with sam for his own freedom?

The audience would now Know dream's intentions with tommy better, that this death isnt 'final', but we could still see other characters' grief and reactions and coping without it feeling cheap. Ive seen some 'but people dont know tommy is alive so hes still dead in their mind' but that sucks imo.

We'd know more on dream's ability to revive people and that he can just Do It on a whim (which i think sucks but hey im trying) but no one else would know this canonically

Okay. Im done. If you read this. Thankyou. I love you. Hmu.

#mcyt #dream smp #dream smp critical #tommyinnit #dream #im puttin this in main tags took me too fuckin long to write for me Not to #death mention #ask to tag

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pillage-and-lute · 3 years

Text

Thicker Than Water (Part 8)

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6, Part 7, (here)

Ao3 link HERE

Please note, this is pretty heavy, it deals with a lot of common insecutiries for adults with ADHD and Jaskier blames himself for a lot of things, but it’s not triggering in the traditional sense. Much of this fic has been about the ways Rejection Sensitivity Dysphoria and other ADHD symptoms can cause self-destructive actions, this focuses on other insecurities, common blames, and then the self-isolation that can come from guilt, even unfounded guilt.

Please remember, in this fic’s world Geralt and Jaskier actually do have a loving and pretty healthy friendship, albeit with communication issues. People fight some times, these are just ways in which RSD can mess with healthy relationships.

OTHER TW: Mentioned child abuse.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

Yennefer and Ciri asked Jaskier to come down for supper that evening. Between lunch and dinner he’d napped, evidently passing out wasn’t the same as actual good-quality rest and his body was demanding it’s due. Evening came around, though and Yen took his elbow to help him stand.

They walked at a slow pace down the hall, Jaskier’s body not up for much more. Ciri stuck behind them, but the pace was embarassingly painstaking.

“Ciri,” Yennefer said. “This is a lot for Jaskier, and will take some time, why don’t you go see if they need help in the kitchen?”

Ciri gave one more concerned look at Jaskier, then bounded off.

Yennefer steered Jaskier to an alcove in the stone of the hallway. He was embarrassed to find himself out of breath.

“What are you going to do?” She asked him. She wasn’t asking about his lungs.

“Eat supper I suppose.”

“I mean about Geralt.”

He knew she meant Geralt, and sighed. “I don't know, Ciri says I'm angry and I am...”

“But?”

“That day on the mountain I didn’t give him space,” Jaskier said, feeling a lump grow in his throat, blocking off his already small air supply.

“I never know when to give people space, I never have, I've been working on it my whole life and I still don't understand.” His chest ached. With emotion, with pneumonia, with tiredness. With shame.

“I’ve always been different, you know?” He looked up at Yennefer. He was taller than her but she sat regally, and he was hunched over, conserving his air.

“In stories being different is usually a good thing, you get cool powers and people love you, but life isn’t like that. And being different is...it’s so much worse when you’re a kid.”

“I know,” Yennefer said. Those purple eyes...she knew. She understood, probably better than anyone. There were parts of her story that Jaskier didn’t have, wasn’t entitled to, but she understood.

“I cant do things I'm not interested in, not don’t want to, can’t. Even if I am interested, they don't always get done,” Jaskier whispered, like he was confessing to a priest, not a barely-friendly witch in a cold hallway.

“I’m nothing but a ball of loose ends, tangled up and bouncing around, running into people and making them as tangled as I am,” Jaskier said. It came out half-sobbed, which upset his breathing and he began to wheeze, then cough.

“If I’m not interested in something, if nothing lights up my mind, I get so sad and tired it’s like this horrible weight.” Jaskier kept talking, feeling the emotions fighting to get out. “Being around people helps, I can get things done, be more normal. And interesting people, oh they’re the best, of course. They keep that awful sad, tired feeling away because they’re always interesting.”

He looked down at his knees, wrapped in their battered trousers.

“But I need to be around them so much,” he whispered. “And I’m too much for anyone to want around long.”

He leaned his head against the cold stone of the alcove wall, staring blankly and watching as his field of vision blurred with tears.

“I’m dramatic,” he said.

“You’re a bard.”

Jaskier shook his head. “Dad called me a pansy, among worse things. He tried to beat it out of me. I just, I seem to feel more than other people. Happy is more happy, but sadness, fear, rejection, they’re all so much worse. I overreact and it makes me hard to deal with.”

He felt a tear roll down and get caught in the scruff on his chin. “I need people though, and I need people to like me. Crowds come and go I just needed one person to like me so I forced it to be Geralt.”

Jaskier was crying in ernest now, full tears falling and shoulders shaking, clogging up his breathing so his cries mingled painfully with coughs. Yennefer reached out and pulled at his shoulder, bringing him up from his hunched over position.

“I’m angry at him even though it was my fault,” he said, wretchedly.

“I followed him and took advantage of the fact that he doesn’t talk because he wont tell me to go away. I took advantage of his patience like that so someone could keep me around and I let myself believe that he actually wanted me around, that just one person could bear being around me. And being with him left me time to go seek out other interests, go ahead or stay behind, I never got bored and it was perfect for me and probably hell for him.”

Jaskier sniffled, looking away and studying the wall because he couldn’t bear to see the condemnation that would surely be on Yennefer’s face.

“And I fell in love with him. Which was stupid because I've been using him this entire time,” he whispered.

“I used him for music and money, then I used him to bandage my self esteem and its all my fault.”

Jaskier finally managed to look at Yennefer and saw that she was actually rolling her eyes.

“It’s not your fault, he was on a horse, you were walking, he could have left you behind anywhere.”

“He’s too kind to leave me to die on my own.”

“What about towns?” Yennefer asked. “What about the djinn?”

“The djinn was my fault.”

“The djinn was his fault,” Yennefer said, stubbornly.

“The djinn was my fault, I thought he was joking. He’d do that, you know? I’d ask him what he was doing and he’d say ‘cooking a unicorn’ or ‘hunting a gabledegook’ so I just thought he was joking again because I thought surely a djinn was only a story. Even if they weren’t there was no reason Geralt would want one. I made horrible wishes, they could have ruined lives, can you imagine?”

“I can.”

Of course she could. It had been stupid of him to say that, Yennefer knew better than anyone how a careless wish, or even a not so careless one, could turn out.

“I have to ask,” Jaskier said, since Yennefer didn’t seem in the mood to turn him into a salamander. “Did geralt wish for you to love him?”

“He wished for me to be bound to him the sex was just...adrenaline, magic, wanting another outsider, a little bit of the djinn. I won’t do it again.” She said, fervently.

“You don’t have to promise that, I have no claim to him,” Jaskier said.

“No one has claim to anyone,” Yennefer snapped. “But you love him. Anyway, I wasn’t telling you, I don’t want him. I don’t want sex with him I want his destiny, our destiny, nothing more.”

“I love him very much,” Jaskier said, after she settled from her outburst.

“Have you ever told him?”

Never, he might think he owes me something.”

“I think you think he’s more self sacrificing than he is. He wouldn't date you out of obligation, he’s not that sort of man.”

Jaskier tilted his head back against the stone. “But he feels guilty, for everything, all the time. What if he did it as an apology.”

“Geralt wouldn't do you the disservice of a pity relationship.”

“We had a pity friendship.”

“You didn't.”

“We did.”

Yennefer peered at him with those strange eyes. “You love him though.”

“I do.”

“I don’t think its a lost cause.”

“I do.”

Yennefer shifted, pulling her hair over one shoulder. “When I asked earlier, I meant what do you want to do after this? Do you even want to see Geralt?”

“Oh gods I rambled and --”

“Shut up, you needed it off your chest.”

Jaskier sighed. “I always want to see Geralt, but I don't think I should be around him. He needs more space than most people and I need less. I do want an apology, I don't want him to grovel, I don’t want him to beg for me back in his life because that's a choice I want him to make on his own. I don’t even need him to tell me through speech because I know that can be hard. He could write a letter.I just...”

“And if you got an apology?”

“I intend to apologize first. I’ll apologize, maybe he’ll apologize, and that way we can at least be friendly, if not friends. And then in the spring I’ll leave, take a different path and it won’t matter anymore.”

I won’t be able to hurt him anymore, Jaskier thought, darkly.

“Nilfgaard wants you,” Yennefer warned.

“I know,” Jaskier sighed. “I may have to fake my death or... oh!” He looked up at Yen, smiling even as he wanted to cough.

“You can wipe my memory!”

Yennefer actually recoiled.

Jaskier’s excitement had set off the coughing and he felt it tear through his throat and squeeze at his ribs until the fit eased.

“I’m not wiping your memory,” Yennefer said, severely.

“Why not? Yen, it’s the perfect solution, and Nilfgaard couldn’t get anything out of me.”

“And Geralt get’s his damned wish,” Yennefer snarled.

Jaskier looked down. “I know he didn’t mean it, he’s a good man, he wouldn’t wish anyone gone in that way, but yes, that wish would be granted and I’d never bother him again.”

“Geralt has a habit of making stupid wishes that he doesn’t actually want granted,” Yennefer snapped.

“You’re supposed to be on his side,” Jaskier said, smiling wetly. “It’s my fault, remember?”

“I don’t think even Geralt’s on Geralt’s side,” Yennefer said. “I won’t take your memories. You wouldn’t remember anything.”

Jaskier deflated. “I guess I’m as good as dead if I can’t remember songs or how to play the lute.”

Yennefer shifted uncomfortably.

“I would forget how to play, wouldn’t I?”

“Well...” she said. “No. You would remember anything you’d learn, knowledge isn’t memories, you know? You’d even know your songs, just not why you knew them or that you’d written them.”

“If you won’t do it, is there a mage who will? I’d only need to get to a city, how much do you think a spell like that would cost?”

Yennefer groaned. “No, bard, I’ll do it. If it’s what you still want, if you’re sure at the end of winter, yes, I’ll take your memories. It’s better than some quack doing it, or worse, turning you in to Nilfgaard but...I don’t like it.”

Jaskier was surprised to see her eyes shimmering with unshed tears. “I won’t take that choice from you,” she said, blinking hard. “But I hope it’s not the one you make.” She sniffed, she tried to make it seem disdainful but it was definitely tearful.

“Anyway,” she said. “What about Ciri? She adore’s you, if you didn’t remember her it would break her heart.”

Jaskier waved a hand. “I”m only a storyteller,” he said, wishing bitterly that it wasn’t true. “She has a whole marvelous family full of stories they can tell her.”

“Didn’t you hear her, she doesn’t feel like this is a family,” Yennefer said, sharply.

“We’ll fix that.”

“So that you can abandon her, you mean?”

Jaskier grimaced. “It’ll be safer for her. Even if I traveled with Geralt, there’s no guarantee Nilfgaard wouldn’t take me, wouldn’t read my mind and put her in danger.” He looked Yennefer right in the eyes. “I won’t let myself hurt her.”

Yennefer hung her head. “We’ll discuss it at the end of winter,” she said. “Do you still feel up to dinner?”

Jaskier thought about it. He felt lighter, in a way, unburdening himself of the guilt he’d been carrying was better, but he was exhausted, and his chest felt raw.

“I think I’d rather eat in my rooms,” he said sheepishly.

He ate dinner alone, wishing he wasn’t but he was practicing giving people space, and he felt proud of himself for it. He only had to continue it, apologize, and get through the winter.

Then he’d never remember he had problems to begin with.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

They will get there. Please read the note at the top, these are all very common ADHD insecurities and relationship problems. Remember, Geralt is not the villain. He needs to apologize, and he’s trying, but the villain is the insecurity.

Tag List!

@frywen-babbles @mordoriscalling @thedarkestangel1 @kerfufflezz @samukai @charlies-dragon @live-long-and-trek-on @holymotherwolf @morte-mistrata @mewithanie @sharondnovels @stinastar @ionlylikemycat @annafortoday @its-the-quenchiest-stuff @kkiyomizu @so--many-fandoms @endless-whump @ineffable-monster-romancer @tookarma @seraphim-miryam @sweetiepieplum @nerdy-numinuos @ravenclaw-dirt

#the witcher #angst #not much comfort yet #yennefer is a very good friend #geraskier #not yet tho #ADHD! Jaskier #rejection sensitive dysphoria #Autistic! Geralt #who is not the bad guy here #insecurity and lack of communication is the bad guy #Geralt is mentioned to be occasionally nonverbal

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lordoftermites · 3 years

Text

OF CLOVER & IRON

Part One

Pairing: Roiben x Kaye

Summary: fluff(ish), angst, obligatory smut (later). fluffish smangst, let's go with that.

My first fic for these two—and all around the first one I've ever written, period. I finally got to a point that I can confidently post parts 1 & 2 without obsessive editing so yeet haw let's fuckin go. Set the day after Ironside Ch. 13. {there's a slight deviation of the wound placements also, because I just really wanted to see Kaye lovingly take care of her Emo Black Knight™. Everything else is canon-compliant. I hope.}

Rating: M for suggestive themes, smut in future chapters

Also I was listening to Beautiful Crime by Tamer and If You Care by Evan Barlow the whole time and if those aren't the most Roiben songs I've ever fucking heard—

*buzzfeed voice* let's get into it

________________

Each step I left behind Each road you know is mine Walking on a line ten stories high Say you'll still be by my side If I could take your hand, oh If you could understand That I can barely breathe, the air is thin I fear the fall and where we'll land

"You realize I have attendants for this, don't you?"

Roiben was reclined, rather awkwardly, against the mountain of plush pillows on his bed. Their down stuffing jutted through the timeworn fabric and pricked along the sensitive skin of his bare back.

While the gash Talathain's sword had wrought the day before had since been cleaned and bandaged, the end of those feathers still managed to find their way through to jab at the still-open wound, eliciting from him a wince, as though he needed reminding of the events that had transpired had, in fact, transpired.

Ruefully, Roiben found that he did not need reminding.

"Mhmm, I know." Kaye replied absently beside him, drawing him back to the present. She was perched on the edge of the bed, inky-black gaze fixed on his hand in her lap; she was gently applying a viscous paste to the scarlet, angry line along his palm—another gift from Silarial's green knight. The mixture had a cooling element to it, not at all unpleasant against the dull burn of the wound. Kaye was careful, dedicated as she worked. Her tender, feather-light touches sent an involuntary shiver down the base of Roiben's spine.

“I admit, I do not mislike having you for a nursemaid instead of an ill-tempered hob." He grinned down at her as she finished, gently wrapping a milky-white cloth around the pad of his hand, tying it off in a small knot at the base of his wrist. He didn’t think anyone in his service would have tended to him with such attentive care; actually, they very well may have relished an opportunity to see him wince. Indeed, he much preferred this.

She glanced up at him through thick lashes and gave him a small smile of her own, but it faltered on her features, wavered there until it faded into something Roiben couldn't name. "I guess,” she began, dropping her gaze back down to his newly-dressed hand in hers. “I just wanted to do… something, for a change." Roiben's brow knitted at the sadness in her voice, the way the guilt, thoroughly misplaced, steeped her words. There was a twinge in his chest that was reminiscent of the arrow she had pulled from it not four months prior. Automatically, his hand reached up to touch the new scar, a rose-tinted indentation in the middle of his sternum. A phantom ache bloomed under his fingers.

She had been only a human girl then, guised as she was, and unfortunate enough to be the one to find him bleeding out, collapsed there against the gnarled tree he would have gladly let become his grave. She had saved his very soul that night in the rain, though neither of them had known it at the time. It was very likely she still didn't.

And here she was again, nursing the consequences of his own obstinate pride and blaming herself for it. Too often, too willingly did she take the weight of his burdens as her own, while he futilely sought to keep her safe from them. Safe from him. She was the most stubbornly kind creature he had ever known; a knight of her own design—a savior he had never had any right to.

Roiben reached out to tuck a loose tendril of viridescent hair behind her ear. The slight movement pulled at the lesion on his back, threatening another wince. He resisted. "Kaye," he started, and when she didn't meet his eyes, he crooked a finger under her chin and canted her head to him.

"There is nothing you have done—not since the moment I met you to now, that was not something." His thumb ran over her emerald jawline, the smooth skin silk in contrast to the roughness of his own. Kaye's eyes fluttered and she leaned into his touch. "I know it is my failure, in not telling you as such, that you mistakenly think yourself so inadequate. For that, I am well and truly sorry."

Through the burning discomfort of his wounds, Roiben drew her down to him and captured her mouth in a kiss. He had never been a master of apologies— or much else for that matter. And for reasons he was unable to name, his way of begging Kaye's pardon seemed to often be sought with his mouth, as if he hoped she could taste it on his tongue— and forgive him with her own.

Her lips, softer than satin and more delectable than any wine he had ever tasted, parted in a soft, lilting sigh. The sound, as it so often did, caused the muscles in his lower abdomen to coil with a rush of warmth. His bandaged fingers moved to tangle in her wild hair as her tongue danced between his teeth, languorous at first, then quickly shifting into something nearer to frenzy. He could feel his pulse quicken, the familiar strain across the front of his trousers when her hand splayed his chest, soft fingertips pressing into his bare skin. His breath hitched.

And then Kaye's lips were gone and she was pushing herself back up, away from him, her breathing ragged. He watched her dazedly, lamenting the abrupt loss of her closeness. She combed a hand through her mess of green hair, and Roiben realized she was trembling. He frowned.

"What is it?" he asked, drawing himself up to a sitting position, jaw clenched against the sharp tug of the bandage stretching from his shoulder to his hip. "Have I done something to displease you?" He glanced down, sliver gaze settling on a fraying thread of gauze on his wrist. "Perhaps my apology wasn't quite the one you were looking for, but I—"

"That's not it." Kaye cut him off, and when he looked back up to meet her eyes, he was disconcerted to find their pitch depths were suddenly glistening. He opened his mouth to speak, but Kaye raised a hand to forestall him. He pressed his lips together, obediently falling mute. "It… it's not you. I mean, it's a little bit you. Okay— maybe it's a lot you. But… I'm just…" She let out a frustrated groan, as though she couldn't quite manage to untangle whatever thought she was trying to get out. The back of her hand swiped angrily across her eyes.

Roiben knew she hated crying, but he was unsure whether it was explicitly crying in front of him, or if it was the act altogether. Whatever the reason, there was a nagging in his gut, a temptation to reach up and wipe away the glittering tear that rolled down the curve of her verdant cheek.

But he stayed patiently, painfully silent beside her, fingers worrying the fabric over his knuckles instead as she worked through unweaving her mind. Roiben found himself suddenly wishing he had the power to read it, if only to help wrench her free of whatever trap that held her there, apart from him. Finally, she sighed—a dispirited sound that reverberated through the otherwise quiet stillness of his chambers.

"Why did you come back? Why did you find me at the diner? Why did you choose me?"

The string of questions— rather, the way she asked them, whispered, bordering on anguish, stung him like the gilded edge of Talathain's blade. Roiben gaped at her, for a moment too stunned to respond. Her expression was contorted slightly, the emotions that coursed through her scrambling over one another to find purchase on her face. Still, she held his gaze with an unwavering severity that bored into his very being and rooted him to the spot.

He knew she would not accept his usual indirect summarizations, those with which he so carefully guarded himself. He was now well beyond the safety of that delicate thread of tightroped truths he danced.

She expected—commanded his unreserved forthrightness, with that look that held the power of his name without it ever needing to cross her lips.

#this is my pride and joy ok #i don't think i've ever written something with so much effort #i was terrified it'd be purple-prosey but i *think* it's ok?#whatever even if it is i fuckin love it #and miss black herself said to write what you love first #so there it is #roiben #rath roiben rye #kaye fierch #kaye x roiben #mft #tmft #modern faerie tales #tfota #the folk of the air #tfota fic

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shadowturtlesstuff · 3 years

Text

you belong with me- thomas

this is thomas’s pov. i like doing both pov (i dont know if you can tell) but there are a few things im working on but enjoy!

“How could-? Are you even hearing yourself speak you fool? No- no. God, you know what I'm done.” I throw my phone on the bed, scaring Sir Issac in the process. I cringe even as I begin pacing back and forth. It was truly absurd, utterly crazy, that William lived in such a world where he would ever consider me being with anyone but Audrey Rose. Whilst we weren’t together per say, it was clear there would be no one else for me. The fact that he had already caused trouble for us once makes this even more irritating. I turn and find Audrey Rose already watching me. Her hair disheveled in a messy bun which tells me she is studying or researching something. I give her what I hope classifies as a smile and watches as she pulls out a familiar notebook, searches for her pen and then writes: Are you okay?

Of course she would ask if I'm okay and not what happened; using our absurd way of talking to each other instead of using the window or even messaging me. I shake my head but smile and make my way towards my window. The wind hits me, sending my hair flying but I embrace the fresh air as I watch her move herself off her bed, cursing at her stiff legs. She has been there most of the day, not moving and lost in her work and music. She curses once more as she hits her elbow on the window sill and she looks truly adorable. “You have a wicked mouth Wadsworth. Did you not learn cursing is unlady-like?” I try to ignore the other thoughts I have of her mouth.

“Fuck you,” she scowls at me. It always makes me smile hearing her curse, she always sounds confident in them somehow, making them seem so real. The first time she swore was the time she failed a science test. Well, not exactly a fail, but she was marked wrong by a substitute teacher who didn't like her so she decided to berate him in front of the whole class, starting with her shouting ‘bullshit!’ as soon as she saw her results.

“I assume dear wadsworth, you want to ask what has made me so irate?” As much as I would rather climb across the gap and make her watch another one of my romance films again instead of talk about it, I know that I should. Otherwise it'll eat at my mind when I go to sleep. As well as it being used against wadsworth in some way too.

“Perhaps,” she says, eyes sparkling with mischief as she rests her head on the wall and brings her knees to her chest, “perhaps I merely wanted to ask if Sir Issac was okay.” I nearly burst out laughing at her. She has a love hate relationship with my cat. She pretends to hate the ‘beast’ but will often let him sit on her lap or pet him whenever she is over here. When I first got him, she stayed round mine for the night and we settled him. Even then she had tried to pretend not to like him but she doesn’t remember that she fell asleep with him curled up next to her. I had to sleep on my chair because they were sprawled out, surrounded by her work.

“Really? You always refer to him as a little pest, whereas as with me, I am your dearest person, of course you want to know how I am feeling. My son is good though, very energetic today.” Said cat brushes against me and I look at him, the memory still clear in my mind. Yet I know I need to stop avoiding the problem, Audrey Rose is too kind to push me into telling her, and will let me avoid it for as long as I need. It is not the worst thing we’ve faced yet I still hate it.

“I assume you saw the call, well that was William,” she nods, her face already falling at the mention of his name, “Yes, awful. Apparently though, there is a rumor that I'm with Miss whitehall. I don't even remember her first name, but he was convinced of our relation despite my protests. Madness.” I scoff at the sheer audacity of him and his friends. Sir Issac nuzzles into me, knowing that I'm upset and wanting to change that. As well get attention.

“Is this the same William that had convinced everyone I was dating him?”

“Yes.” Anger rolls through me at the memory of that disaster. What hurt Audrey Rose the most is that she truly thought he was a friend. She’d explained that with me she didn't try, but everyone else she had too, so when they'd fallen into easy conversations during lessons she really enjoyed having someone other than me and lize and her uncle to talk to.

“Bitch. Why on earth is he such a problem? Where on earth does he even make this assumptions about us?'' She begins pacing, her mind working faster than her steps as she no doubt recalls everything that happened. I am inclined to do the same. I can still remember her walking into her room, looking at me and falling apart. I climbed into her room and held her letting her calm before she spoke to me. I cried as well, slightly, knowing how much that friendship had meant to her. I'd made us watch a really cheesy film and she'd fallen asleep in my arms.

“I have never once,”I say to drag her back to the present “shown interest in her, nor will I ever.” I drag a hand through my hair. “She's just- a lot.” the first time id met her she was just very loud and demanding, I couldn't stand her. I'd watched her insult so many people for being themselves, for liking childish things, or in Audrey Rose's case, morbid things.

“That is the understatement of the year Cresswell. Besides, you wouldn’t work, she's too- your,” she falls silent, either lost in thought or not wanting to tell me those thoughts. Her cheeks turn a light shade of pink and I smile. She doesn't meet my eye as she sits herself down and I raise my brows as she asks what? As though she didn’t just show me that she has many inappropriate thoughts about me. She curls herself into a ball, hiding in her oversized hoodie, which is mine that I'm not sure she realizes is.

“I’m what? I'd be delighted to know your innermost thoughts of me, Wadsworth.”

“You're absurd but fine I'll elaborate,” she rolls her eyes though, even as the pink deepens slightly. Her eyes focused on my own. So I face her fully, like an astute student in class dying to seek knowledge, “you're too kind, too witty and clever and Whitehall wouldn’t appreciate you enough. You-” she stops talking immediately, as though whatever is in her mind she cant voice. Her face twists into something unreadable and I get the sense that she would rather not ever speak about me being with someone other than her.

“You forgot to mention how handsome I look, or how charming I am, but I'll take it,” she suppresses an eye roll and her smile and ignores the way my voice deepens ever so slightly. I pat Sir Issac off me and earn a whine but he jumps off me. I reach out to her and she leans, her hair ripping free of her bun with little effort from the wind. Her dark curls cling to her face, framing her perfectly too. It makes me want to hold her face in her hands and kiss her deeply.

“I don’t need to inflate your ego further Thomas.”

She inflates my ego every time she smiles at me, whether that be because of my joke or simply smiling at me because I am her friend. “I know but it would've been nice. I did say the inner most thoughts but we’ll get there. Audrey rose-I don’t belong with her, you’re right, my heart would never belong to her especially since it already belongs to someone else.”

She blinks at me, her face falling flat. Silence falls over us and I realize she thinks I'm talking about someone else. And idea forms, one that she may hate me for but one I'm going to do anyway.

“I-” she begins, no doubt going to tell me she wants me to be happy without whomever I'm with. I stand before she can say anything and she stares at me for a second so I motion for her to move. I want to be able to hold her and be next to her. I climb over and set myself on her window sill, leaving enough space for her on the other side. “I hope you are happy with whomever has your heart Cresswell.” I try to hide my smirk at her. Preparing myself for the worst. Preparing myself for her calling me an idiot and that she doesn't like me that way. I wouldn’t blame her.

“Of course I'll be happy. She's amazing. Let me tell you all about her. I met her many years back and was instantly smitten with her emerald eyes and her quick witted mind. How she sings to herself every morning and how her dark curls fall across her face whenever she sits on her bed and reads. I adore her curiosity for the dead and how wicked her mouth is and how delightful it is to watch your mind at work. I love when she shows me a note through the window to see if I'm doing okay and-”

“Wait,” she blurts out, her cheeks red now and eyes bright with shock, “Thomas, are you talking about me?”

I can’t help but laugh. She is one of the smartest people I have ever met yet she, just like I do, struggles with social cues sometimes. Albeit it she is better than I will ever be. “Yes, finally! I thought I'd have to keep speaking forever till you realized it was you.” Not that that would be a problem. As of right now I'd happily list the way her eyes are filled with both relief and shock and happiness and it's a look I want to capture whenever I need a reminder of something good in life.

She scowls at me, ignoring her blush. I take a risk and reach out my hand, moving closer so that her back is straightened on the wall, her attention fixed on me completely. No fake scowl or bright smile, just an intent gaze I can't quite pick apart. I rest my hand on her leg, now free of her (my) hoodie. “Wadsworth, darling, I have been in love with you for some time now.”

I stare at my best friend, my love, as she tries to convince herself this is real. It's truly adorable. Then her eyes widen slightly as she whispers: “I have something to show you.”

She jumps from my grip, running the short distance to her bed and then shuffling through the mountain of books and papers sprawled there until she pulls out a notebook and shakes it, letting a piece of paper drop. It's folded and creased a lot, as though it has been opened often. I watch as she faces me and slowly, her face fixed on the sheet as she opens and holds it out to me.

I read the words: I love you.

I love you.

I read them over and over and over, trying to imprint it on my brain. Her delicate handwriting and her confession reaches out to me and I desperately want to reach out to her, hold her against me and press kisses and make her laugh.

Audrey rose takes her seat across from me and I instantly reach out, holding her leg again. Anything to reassure me this is real. “I wrote that the night after you came here the second time.” her voice is soft, her curls once again framing her face as she looks at me, “Something in me clicked that no matter what you'd find a way to comfort me. Not save me, but work alongside me. I wanted to tell you I just couldn't face it. But I needed to acknowledge it. So I wrote it down, and I look at it every time we use the note system; I try to convince myself to show you.” Audrey Rose would never need saving, never want it, yet her words save my own dark heart that she has felt this way for so long, and we have somehow lived alongside each other and been so blinded by our love entwined with fears that it has taken so long to finally acknowledge them.

I debate pinching myself. Only minutes ago was I miserable and upset, yet Audrey Rose has taken her time to cheer me up. Yet even if I had left it as I am fine, even though she knows me better than that, she wouldn't have pressed for answers; would have waited for me to open up. So i lean in and the world stops as we both wait until our lips are pressed together It's a light kiss, one full of promise and wonder. When I lean back we are both smiling so freely my heart feels as though it too is reaching out to hold Audrey rose. We trade kisses, never wanting to leave this loop but I do lean back away from her. I’m already too drunk on her kisses, I need to breathe, to process this so I can remember it. Once my back is against the wall I pull her, twisting so her back is against mine, leaning into my warmth and I rest my head atop hers. Trying to contain my smiles but to no avail. My hand covers hers and as i look down at her i notice she doesn't bother controlling her smile. It is a magnificent sight.

“Now would be a perfect time to tell me how handsome I am, my love.”

let me know if you want to be added to my tag list:

@fangirling-again @kittycat2187 @goatahoan @city-of-fae @the-hoofflepooff @padfoot-sirius-black-blog @purplecreatorhorsewagon @boredbookwormgirl @goddess-of-writing-wars @lovecakeandmore @yikesitsmaddie @loveyatopluto @throneofsc @bookscressworth @ ink-insomnia

#sjtr #hpd #efh #ctd #thomas cresswell #audrey rose wadsworth #wadsworth #cresswell #cressworth #stalking jack the ripper #hunting prince dracula #escaping from houdini #capturing the devil

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adrianasunderworld · 4 years

Text

Something in your Aura

Raihans female!reader

Tired. He was so very tired. Raihan had a packed schedule most of the day. From a photoshoot in the early morning, a training session with his gyms trainers, and then overlooking some documents in the archives. By the time he left the vault, the sun was starting to set. He was ready to sleep, eat, and shower, not necessarily in that order.

But it seemed the day was not over yet. As he walked down the street, Raihan heard what sounded like a pokemon cry. It was small yelping noise that gradually got closer and closer to him. Looking behind him, Raihan was greeted with the sight of the tiniest Rioulu he had ever seen come bounding up to him. The little one stopped in front of him, tilting its head up and staring curiously.

Raihan knelt down at the little pokemons level and held out a hand for them to sniff. "Where did you come from?"

"Riii" it replied, putting its little black paws on his hand. "Rii rio!" Whatever the little one wanted, it seemed happy.

While it was content, Raihan looked over the young pokemon. The Riolu looked clean and well fed. It had a little red ribbon tied around its neck like a scarf. At the end it had a name embroidered on the end in gold thread. Gently taking hold of the end of the ribbon, it said Aaron.

"Aaron? Is that your name?" Raihan asked the Riolu.

"Ri!" Aaron nodded.

"Where's your trainer then?" It was obvious the little pokemon wasn't one of the wild strays that wandered the streets. They clearly had a trainer that took care of them, and were probably very worried. Raihan picked up the small pokemon and stood. "How about we go find them?"

"Riolu." Aaron nodded and happily perched himself on Raihans shoulder. It seemed the best idea was to go in the direction Aaron had come from. But as they wandered down the street, Raihan didn't see anyone who looked worried or was searching for something, and Aaron did not seem to respond to any of the people passing. He had stopped a couple of people to ask them, but all shook their heads and did not recognize the baby pokemon.

It was starting to get late, and at this point Raihan was starving. Aaron began to yawn from his seat on his shoulder. It did not look like they were going to find Aarons trainer tonight. So, without many options, Raihan bought himself some dinner and took his new friend home.

"Hey Rotom," he said, and his phone came flying out, the pokemon ready to snap pictures. "Lets get word to out about our little friend here." Rotom pointed the camera at him and started to record. "Hey everyone, listen, if anyone is in Hammerlocke and missing a Rioulu, I've found him. He's safe. Say hi Aaron."

"Ri!" He waved to the camera, Rotom being certain to get a good shot of him.

"Please, if you are his trainer,or know his trainer. Message me and I will get back to you as soon as possible. Good night." After posting the video and a clear picture of Aaron for good measure, Raihan settled down for the night as he waited for any responses. Meanwhile, the young Riolu seemed to finally grasp that it was no longer home. The cheerful little guy had curled up quietly in Raihans lap, looking a little sad.

Raihan scratched him behind the ear. "Miss your trainer?"

"Riii…." the baby pokemon nodded sadly.

"Don't worry, we'll find them." Raihan assured and let Aaron curl up on his chest that night to sleep.

The next day, Raihans phone had blown up with notifications. Most of them were comments about how cute Aaron was and well wishes in finding his trainer. most of the private messages that had been sent were of people claiming to be his trainer, but most came off as shady at best. Raihan contemplated going down to the Pokemon center to see if anyone had reported Aaron missing, when he got another message. This one was from a girl, it said her name was __.

Raihan opened the message and read it.

Hi, my friend showed me your post about the Riolu you found last night. I'm his trainer, he ran off last night and was no where to be found. I've been worried sick. Please let me know when I can come get him.

Out of curiosity, Raihan looked at her profile. It didn't take long at all to see a picture of Aaron, ribbon and all, curled up with a Lucario. Then another picture of him being held by the girl, both looking very happy. Raihan showed Aaron the picture and the little one pawed at the screen, crying out for her as if he could reach through the screen to get to her. That seemed to settle it.

Raihan took one more look at the photo. "Why didn't you tell me your trainer was cute?"

"Ri?"

He chuckled to himself as he messaged the girl back. Noon in Hammerlockes gym lobby sound good?

It only took a minute for her response.

See you there.

Sitting in the lobby, Raihan watched as Aaron played on the floor, Flygon had taken it upon themself to entertain the young one by letting him tackle their tail. Just as it was about to be noon, Raihan heard a girls voice from the entrance.

"Aaron? Aaron!"

The Rioulu sprang up and happily ran towards his trainer. She scooped him and hugged him, Raihan could see her relax by the moment. Any worry immediately melting away from her face.

"Riri!" Aaron cried out and pointed his paw towards Raihan.

The girl looked over and walked towards him. She smiled. "I cant thank you enough for finding him."

Raihan waved it off. "Dont worry about it, I'm just glad the little guy is back where he belongs."

She sighed in relief. "You don't know the panic attack I went through last night."

"I can imagine," he said. "What happened anyway? How did you two get separated?"

"We were walking home after training in the wild area, when he just ran off." She said. "My Lucario did his best to track him down, but he got lost so fast we couldn't find him. I searched everywhere but no luck. Then my friend sent me that post you made and I messaged you as soon as possible." Then she paused. "How did you find him anyway?"

"He just ran up to me." Raihan said, unsure of how to explain. "I don't know.He seemed so happy, like he was looking for me or something. "

___ nodded thoughtfully. "Hhmm…"

"What do you mean hhmm?"

"Well…" she paused as if collecting her thoughts before continuing. "I think… maybe it's something about your aura."

"My aura?"

___ nodded. "Yeah… I mean. How familiar are you with the Lucario line?"

Raihan shrugged. He didn't get to fight many Lucario. Though he was vaguely aware of their unique abilities. "I know they're the aura pokemon. I've read a bit about that stuff, but I can't say I know much."

She nodded. "Okay, well, to make a long story short, aura is this energy that all living things have. And the Lucario line are unique in that that they are able to sense and use auras energy. I think maybe Aaron sensed your aura and went looking for you."

Raihan couldn't help but chuckle at the idea. It was certainly an interesting theory. "What could possibly be so attractive about my aura that he would come running?"

___ looked him at and down, a coy grin in her face. "It doesn't seem that far fetched. You have a very good aura."

"You say it as if you can see it."

Her face went red and she looked away in embarrassment."....I-I can…"

"Oh," Raihan didn't mean to make her feel embarrassed. Though now he was genuinely curious. "That's pretty damn cool."

She turned back to him, Aaron seemed to sense whatever it was she was feeling and looked at her curiously. "Thanks, um...but yeah. I guess he could just sense you were a good person and wanted to meet you." she smiled awkwardly.

Raihan grinned back and reached out to scratch Aaron behind the ear. "Well I was glad to meet him."

Aaron seemed very happy about it too. But his mood quickly changed when ___ said, "Thanks again for finding him. Come on, Aaron, let's go home." The Riolu started to squirm and cry out. He kept reaching out to Raihan like he didn't want to leave. __ seemed equally distressed. "Aaron, what's wrong? What's gotten into you? Dont you want to see Riley?"

Aaron only kept pointing at Raihan and looked as if he was begging not to leave. Until eventually, he jumped out of her arms and ran to Raihan wrapping his little arms around his leg and nuzzling him.

"Oh no." He and ___ said in unison.

Raihan treated them to ice cream and they sat on a bench, unsure of what to do. Aaron sat between them, swinging his little legs as he munched on his snack. Not caring about the trouble he had caused. Her Lucario, Riley, sat on the ground, arms crossed. Looking at Aaron as the disapproving parent he was.

She still seemed so quiet and embarrassed about this whole ordeal. So Raihan did his best to break the ice in an attempt to make her more comfortable. "Riley and Aaron are certainly interesting names for pokemon."

__ looked at him shyly and grinned a little while her Lucario turned its gaze to him. "I guess so. But in my defense, Riley is named after an old friend. The one who gave me his egg in the first place."

"I take it that Riley taught you about Auras?" She nodded. "And what about this one?" He pointed at Aaron.

"This one is named after Sir Aaron. Another Aura user. One of the few recorded ones in history. Definitely the most famous by far."

Something about that name struck a cord with him. "I've heard of that guy. Stopped a war and saved the tree of beginning, that Sir Aaron?"

___ nodded. "The one and only. So you do know a bit about Auras." She said teasingly.

Raihan shrugged. "We have a few documents on aura users in the vault. Some of them mentioned the guy. But that's the extent of my knowledge." He paused for a moment before adding. "You seem to know a lot though."

"A fair amount." She replied, taking another lick from the cone in her hand before it started dripping. "Why, is there something you want to know?"

"I'm a historian by nature, I always want to know." He then winked before adding, "especially when the source is so cute."

__ blushed before snorting and rolling her eyes. "That has to be the lamest line I've ever heard."

Raihan laughed. "Can't blame a guy for trying. But there is one thing I am curious about."

"And what's that?"

"What is my aura like?" __ looked surprised. "What's with the face? You can't just say I have such a good aura that your pokemon come running and not tell me what's so great about it."

___ shook it off. "Sorry, it's just that I don't get asked that a lot. I dont really go around telling people I see auras."

"Really?"

"Yeah…" she let out an irritated sigh as she relayed how annoying it could be. "Whenever i talk about Auras most people either think I'm going to talk about the healing properties of crystals and oils next, or think I'm going to read their auras for free and act like it's some kind of fortune telling. Needless to say I dont bring it up often."

"Oh Arceus, that does sound annoying."

___ laughed and took another lick of her ice cream before turning towards him, resting her arm on the back of the bench. "But since you asked nicely…" she paused for what felt like forever, looking him up and down with a scrutinizing gaze. Raihan had never felt more exposed then in that moment. Though oddly enough, he found that he did not mind. "Your Aura is strong and vibrant. That much is certain. It's… warm and kind. Yet sturdy. The essence of a protector. If that makes any sense. No wonder Aaron ran to you. He knew he would be safe by your side." Then her lips tilted slightly in a smirk. "You're aura is friend shaped."

For some reason that made Raihan bust out laughing. "Do I get to be your friend then?"

She smiled, "I'd like that very much."

#Raihan #gym leader raihan #raihan x reader #pokemon x reader #pokemon x swsh #swsh #pokemon #riolu #things i wrote at 4 in the morning #and probably could have benefited from another draft #but you're getting this anyway

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og-danny-dorito · 4 years

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{ Some SFW Tamaki Headcanons For Your Daily Dose Of Somft™}

OKAY hi hello, I know I've been gone for a while but I'm kinda back now since ive had a burst of inspiration lately for no reason in particular. This is partially cause I actually just finished watching BNHA and good lord, let me tell you bro- I have WAY too many thoughts about this dude for it to be a normal infatuation so here we go! -w-;

- FIRST of all, I'm like 90% sure this dude listens to like really soft cute music like Lofi remixes or those rlly cute anime openings that give off Soft Boy vibes???

- he's like a soft person in general already so its kindof a given. he really likes pastel colors a whole lot for that reason cause they're more muted and subtle and aren't completely overbearing

- he actually owns like, 40 oversized pastel sweaters with various prints and designs on them for that reason. that and oversized soft sweaters are year-round

- most of his clothes are kinda oversized though?? like if you've watched the anime and can see how his shirt fits him I'm like 90% sure it's like a size bigger than it should be (his natural size is a medium in men's, I'm assuming, since he's like canonically 5'9" and not really muscular). his hero costume is also a little bigger than it should be in some areas and it fits around him like a big blanket

- there are MULTIPLE reasons for this imo, but the main two are that he's A) self conscious and therefore less confident in things that fit him better, and B) likes feeling like things aren't constricting him like tight shirts do

- on the self-conscious point, he already has issues with about like 500 other things that concern himself, so why not physical???

- let me explain- his form is naturally slim, which means that he hasn't really ever been as physically muscular as the other heroes (mostly cause his quirk burns up most of his calories and he has a naturally fast metabolism), and is consistently reminded of it

- he doesn't want other people to think of him as less or weaker in the general public because he doesn't look as physically strong as the other heroes, so he wears clothes that aren't very form fitting to hide this fact and therefore avoid the possibility of criticism of is physical features

- also, you're on tumblr, the land of people who are or have been physically self conscious for whatever reason, so it's pretty safe to assume that you've worn/wear oversized clothing. do you know how comfy they are??? it's like being wrapped in a formless blanket that makes it feel as if you arent able to be subject to criticism from others. it's literally the BEST

- his closet really just consists of things that are bigger than him really, but he does have some skinny jeans and a few formal outfits that fit him properly. his figure is actually kind of cute in a way since he's more on the slim/muscular side but if you EVER tell him he looks handsome in something that's more fitting than he ususally wears he will have a slightly boosted self confidence but amplified anxiety, no exceptions

- but he doesnt really like receiving compliments to be honest, and there's a few reasons for that

- as a kid not many people talked to him so he would occasionally be subject to being outcast by others. as a child he knew that when the teachers were being too nice to him by complimenting his work or talking too him too much that it was out of pity. he felt like he was being patronized out of personal obligation to be inclusive and not in personal interest, so he still has some remnants of that mentality due to having grow up with that

- being given a serious and genuine compliment isn't something he's used to and quite frankly he might be a little uncomfortable if he doesn't know you very well

- if, however, he knows you well and trusts that your comments aren't out of spite or ill-intent, his face usually turns a bright shade of red as he either A) stutters out a nervous thank you or B) hides his face in his hands and refuses to say anything until it's subsided

- he'll usually try to compliment you back, even though its hard to hear over his incredibly soft voice. it's usually something about how nice you are or how he doesn't understand how someone like you can think that way about him, but he secretly really likes feeling like someone cares and appreciates him

- speaking of soft voices, I'm almost entirely convinced that he can sing. since he doesn't really go out with friends in his spare time since he basically only has two close ones, he usually either trains or, alternatively, sings

- its more of a subconscious thing to him to sing along when his favorite song is on, but he only does it when he's alone. the thing is that he thinks his voice is horrible since he hasn't had any extensive formal education in music and generally doesn't try that much to refine his skills manually but his singing voice is like, literally angelic

- seriously, if you get this man to sing 'Heather' by Conan Grey its like listening to some sort of ethereal being trying to lull you to sleep

- its not like he'd ever do this in public because of his anxiety and insecurities, but asking him nicely and swearing you won't tell anyone about it usually gets him to do it, albeit kinds shyly at first. it takes some working up to really, from him nervously singing gently to a song while his back is turned to you to just starting to hum along to songs by habit while you're around

- the only time he really does it to his own violation can be when you're sick (he cant say no to someone who's injured, it makes him feel terrible), when you're about to fall asleep, or even when he forgets that he's around other people and is doing some sort of chore or task around the house

- mentioning it to others makes him even more embarrassed than physically possible, and he usually covers his ears to mask the sounds of your praise about him. he hates drawing attention to himself and simply cannot Deal™ with the compliments he's receiving

- this is amplified if you're in a romantic relationship with him since, lets be completely honest here, he's literally never been in a relationship before

- I mean like, if that one girl who was with him for a week in 5th grade counts for anything, then I guess he's been in one before but other than that he has no experience

- how does he accept compliments? how do you genuinely love him?? should he dress better when around you???? oh god, do you secretly hate a bunch of things about him and only like him because he's a good hero????

- there's literal pages in his search history dedicated to is panicked questioning about what he should do if you haven't told him you love him in more than a week, what he should do if he accidentally calls you the wrong name while making out/having sex, when it's acceptable to talk about getting a plant together without seeming like he wants to get married in that instant, etc.

- for this it doesn't matter whether or not you're experienced since its good both ways! someone who isn't experienced could help ease his nerves a bit since hey, you might not really know what you're doing ether, so you're both gonna mess up. if you're a little more experienced then you can help show him the ropes and probably might help him improve in future relationships if you ever decide you don't want him anymore. both win-win situations basically

- it also doesn't really matter if you're male, female, or anything else since he's demisexual panromantic. your personality is basically the most important aspect to him, even though he still thinks you have the face of a god/goddess

- the first few weeks of the relationship are basically him figuring out when its okay to touch you and/or ask for you to touch him since he doesn't want to scare you off with how affectionate he can be

- and when I say affectionate, I mean like a full out cuddle-bug

- Tamaki is straight up touch starved so like jot that down. like high key he really didn't have much physical affection as a child and even now can’t really figure out how to do it since he doesn't have any experience with it. he still craves physical affection though, and consistently

- a good way to tell that he wants affection is that he sticks a little bit closer to you during the day. not exactly under your feet, but still in your space when he knows its appropriate. usually just giving him a long hug or hdoling his hand in private helps to alleviate it a little bit, but his favorite way to get affection is to sit down and either sit in your lap or have you sit in his lap

- the reason I say private though is because PDA makes him nervous. it already kinda draws attention to the two of you since the act of PDA is basically outing a relationship on display and that alone makes him nervous, so he usually avoids it unless its in a barely populated park, a quiet cafe, etc.

- so in public he's probably gonna stick close but not outwardly hold your hand by himself, but behind closed doors he's basically hanging on you wherever and however he can

- can you really blame him for liking you as much as you do? I mean you're patient with him, you genuinely like him, and you're so sweet that he doesn't even know what to do with himself. that, and you're super fascinating to observe

- not,,,- he doesn't mean that in a creepy way I swear. he means it like- he means that he likes watching you work because the way you move around catches his interest. part of his training is observing others and he already does it a lot due to being more of that type of person by default, so he can tell a lot about you just by watching you do simple tasks such as cleaning the floor or doing some work you need to get done

- his observance makes him a great partner when it comes to remembering small things about you like your favorite color, how you do your hair in the mornings, what your favorite band(s) is/are, and more! expect him to bring you small gifts that reminded him of you because of something you said four months ago at a very specific time and a very specific date and a very specific location

- this applies to anyone that he really knows or pays special attention to really, but you're one of those people that he subconsciously has encyclopedic knowledge of because he thinks about you so much all the time

- anyway, we're getting to the end so lets get to my favorite part of the list- miscellaneous headcanons! :

he really likes Conan Grey and Lofi remixes of songs that he likes since they're more on the calming side and less intense and help his nerves go down if he's feeling anxious

when he does get severely anxious he curls into a ball and pulls at his ears and cries. he's unresponsive for this time but usually just letting him calm down after a little bit on his own or telling him softly to listen to you helps

he likes insectariums a while lot, specifically the butterfly rooms where you can walk through and let them fly around you. for some reason they tend to be more prone to lighting on him than anyone else, even though he only really wears dark colors and doesn't make an effort to get them around him

he has some purple fairy lights set up above his bed in his room that look like glowing butterflies cause he thought they were cute

he's incredibly good at cooking complex and simple dishes since he usually has to eat large amounts of certain things for his ability, and almost always cooks for the two of you if you're staying long enough to eat with him. he's arguably one of the best home-taught chefs at UA besides Bakugo even though they specialize i different areas of cooking basically

- well, it looks like thats the end for this list! Tamaki is such a sweet dude, really. being his friend or lover is like having a cheerleader, an endlessly loyal supporter, and an eternally loving partner (and more) all rolled into one. once you've been nice to him like once he's automatically favoring you over others. it may be hard to try to help him get more comfortable with the things he's anxious with, but he's a fast learner and if it makes you happy it makes him happy too

- Be careful with him, and you've got a friend for life!

[ ~Thank You For Reading, and if you think I missed anything please let me know in the notes or in my inbox. Any feedback is heavily appreciated!~ ]

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draco-and-tom · 3 years

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TW!!!- Mentions of suicide attempt, Mentions of suicide note, Mentions of alcohol, Mentions of grooming, Mentions of sexual assault, Mentions of cheating, Mentions of early eating disorder signs. Please let me know If you catch any I didn’t say.

This is about Talia (@satans-little-devil) Okay, so it has come to my attention that I have been played long story short. It all started when she sent in this request. I love requests and was delighted to write for her. Talia would keep checking up on me and asking if I ate/drank etc. We started talking and becoming friends and after about 2 weeks she started getting flirty. I did not know her age at the time so I would flirt back. I'm a little flirty with all of my friends so I didn't see anything wrong with it. After about another week we got even more flirty and on a Friday of (I think) April we started dating. I called her 2 times while we were dating and both times she had an excuse for why she couldn't speak, only listen. On those calls I told her how alcohol and sexual abuse were triggers for me which will come into play later. We dated for 3 days till she told me that she wasn't comfortable with my age, so we were going to wait a bit. We continued to do the exact same things as we were doing before. We weren't supposed to talk romantically to anyone else, we weren't supposed to kiss, touch others, anything like that. After about a week of that is when the suicide attempt and letter posts happened. She had told me about how her parents were abusive and I even supposedly got her in trouble because of our messages. Her parents are homophobic and her sister read through them, then told their parents. I don't even know if I believe this anymore because I've had a gut feeling about this and some things didn't add up which I will get into later. That night I begged her to not do it and told her a whole bunch of things to get her to stop. I even messaged a random person I saw on her blog a couple of times (that I did not know) seeking help. She ended up telling me that I had convinced her and that her parents needed her for chores or something. At this point I'm blowing up her phone, because she hasn't answered me in a while and I'm starting to get worried. She answers me after a few more minutes and tells me that she’s okay and going for a drive. I tell her that's fine, but to be safe because the last time she told me that she got into her wreck. She told me that she would be and once again she stops answering completely. I blew up her phone a lot at this point because i was so scared that something had happened to her. I woke up around once every hour to check our messages and send new ones. I wake up around 3 or 4 in the morning and see that she messaged me back. I read it and she tells me about a post that her sister made for her talking about the attempt. I keep talking to her and she keeps saying sorry and so do I. After a couple of days all of her surgeries are done and she is resting in the hospital. That weekend I get random messages from her telling me things that I couldn't quite make out. She ended up telling me about a day later that she was in a Christian mental hospital and that the messages were her trying to get help. This is why she was saying things like “I'm fine they told me themselves”. She was talking about the nuns. I was pretty skeptical about this because I’ve been told by people I know that they take away electronics from patience there so I asked her how she still had her phone. She told me that she didn't and that they allowed her to have her school lap top. Me being me thought that it was odd, and decided to trust her because I thought that we were close. I’ve always been a trusting person and refused to act on all of the red flags that I saw. She told me that her parents forged her signature, but later she informed me that she found out her doctor signed her into the mental hospital/group home type place. After a while she seemed to be getting better and told me that she liked it better there because she didn't have to deal with her parents. A few days later she informs me about a friend named Blake. Apparently he was one of her friends that she had known since elementary school. She told me that they were really close and that they cuddled which I was uncomfortable with because I'm a very jealous/territorial person, but I let it slide because I felt that I was over reacting and she shouldn't have to change her friendship habits for me. The next day were talking and she tells me that they kiss in a “friend” kind of way. I don't know exactly what that means to her, but that was were I told her in made me upset. She told me that he was gay and that he had a fiancé that he loved dearly. A few moments later all of the sudden Blake is bisexual. She tells me to not worry about him and I brush it off. The next day I am informed that Blake’s boy friend cheated and they broke up. She started telling me about how He would get drunk and become violent and would tell her to hide the alcohol from him. I asked her how he got it in the first place since they were in a mental hospital after all. She basically told me that the nuns didn't care. One of the days he got drunk she told me that he sexually assaulted her. I told her that it was not okay and that she should cut him off. She said no because he was one of her best friends. I eventually convinced her to at least talk to him about it and they ended up crying. We ended up setting boundaries for them. After all of that cleared up she tells me about a friend named Jacob she had coming to visit. Before reading this part please note that I am a minor. I have no experience with sexual matters other than what I see and read, so I have no clue how communication during works. I'm obviously not innocent, considering I run a smut page, but I am not sexually active either. Talia would always push me into sexual things, but in the end I always gave my consent. We didn't do anything overly sexual, just texting. She would always tease me about doing sexual things with both of her friends even though she knew it bothered me. One time she did and told me that she did sexual things with him. I didn't believe her. Later in the day I told her to be nice and that I wasn't mad to which she responds with something like “you aren't mad about Jason?”. At this point I was a little confused and asked if they actually did anything and she ends up saying that they did. She basically blamed it on me and I ended up feeling bad for 2 reasons.

1. I had just been cheated on for the first time

2. I felt like it was my fault.

she said that she was sorry, but I was being too mean and she wanted to be good for someone and that I should have known. By this point in our relationship I started developing eating issues. I would get so stressed out that if I even thought about eating I felt like I would throw up. I told her about it, but did not tell her what the cause of my eating problems were. After a couple of days I'm having a good time at the beach on vacation. She knew that I was on vacation and that I was trying to relax because of my recent problems having to do with her, and just life in general. About 2 nights ago she messages me and tells me that she kissed Jason again. I’m going to try not to show too much emotion in this because i don't want to trauma dump you guys, so ill say the rest as good as I can. I forgave her again. I told her that if it happened again that we were over and she agreed. everything went fine and yesterday was actually pretty smooth sailing. Me and her had nice talks. Her friend messaged me and she asked me to block her, and I did. The only thing that was bothering me at this time is that she started to stop talking to me earlier in the day. The schedule change was drastic. We used to message throughout from around 9am-1am, and it recently changed to around 12pm-8pm. Today I woke up, got ready to leave my hotel, and messaged her at about 7am. In the car I messaged her and told her that I might not be able to talk for awhile because i lost my charger. she ends up responding with “hiii” and that was the last message I got and will probably get from her, because when I got back home and checked my messages her whole account was de-activated. I unblock her friend and ask her if Talia is okay. her friend still hasn't answered, even though I don't think I want her to anymore. I saw a couple posts about her, but didn't believe them until i saw an ask from @sexy-for-cedric about @were-not-doing-get-help ‘s post. If it wasn't for that I would probably still be on her side, but knowing that I was cheated on ATLEAST 3 times in a month by the same person sent me over the edge. I understand that what she did was horrible, but please don't tag me in any posts shunning her or saying dreadful things about her. I know that its wrong for me to, but I still love her and I hope you all understand that I hate myself for it, so please don't be rude to me. I was already nervous enough to post this. And if anyone tries to tell me how I feel trust me, I know how i felt about her. I have a locket with her picture in it that I cant wear anymore. I hope anyone that is going through what I am knows that my dms are always open and that this is not your fault.

And Talia if you are seeing this I'm sorry and I truly do love you, but the pain started to be too much as of today when I found out. I'm sorry, I hope you find your way in life. I hope you are okay.

People I think should read this: @sexy-for-cedric @were-not-doing-get-help @georgeswh0re @quindolyn @krasivayadarling @inureflower @just-the-best-devil @mrzweasley

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