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there-must-be-a-lock · 3 years

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Three (Bad Ideas) - Part 3 of 3

Jared x Jensen ( x Reader, but mostly J2)

Word Count: ~6720

Warnings: The most explicit guy-on-guy scene I’ve written so far in this series, I think. Rom-com-style miscommunication shenanigans, excessive fluff, bossy!Jensen and his dirty dirty mouth, Jared’s exhibitionist tendencies, polyamory negotiations, anxiety and the way it can fuck with relationships, no seriously so much fluff, boys being idiots, boys in a non-figurative closet, boys in love, boys in bed, and more fucking fluff.

A/N: I cannot believe I finally finished this, holy shit. Credit to @fangirlxwritesx67! Most of this series wouldn’t exist without her neverending J2 gif spams.

Catch up here: Part 1 / Part 2

This is the prequel to the original Everything story, which you can only read on Amazon these days; it actually overlaps a bit, and retells a few scenes from Jared’s POV, but this fic stands on its own. The original is thoroughly plotless, tbh. It’s like 18k of pure smut. Read it over here if you’re interested. More standalones/headcanons/ficlets in this ‘verse can be found here.

“Come on,” Jared pants, “Hurry up already.”

“Somebody’s fuckin demanding,” Jensen growls.

“Please, just — fuck, so close, come on.” He tries to buck forward but Jensen’s got him pinned, shoving him against the wall of the dark, cramped little closet while his hand moves in a maddeningly even rhythm, working him with long rough perfect strokes.

“Door’s not locked. If you don’t keep your voice down somebody’s gonna walk right in.”

He twists his wrist just right, and Jared groans, slumping back against the wall, trying not to let his knees buckle.

“Please,” he says again.

“Is that what you want? You want someone to walk in?”

“Shit, come on, stop teasing.”

“What would you do if she walked in?” Jensen says, practically purring, his voice deep and suggestive in the dark, close air. “God, I bet you’d love that.”

Jared wants to protest, but the image of it, the thought of her opening that door, thrills him like a thousand fucking volts. He whimpers, and Jensen just laughs. The guilt hits a split-second later.

“I wouldn’t stop, either,” Jensen continues. “I’d let her hear you begging, let her watch while I make you come...”

Jared’s so close he can barely breathe. He can feel it, building everywhere, from his toes and his fingers, up through his spine, coiling tight and hot and —

“So fuckin’ dirty, admit it, you want her to see you come all over yourself. Think she’d lick it off my fingers when you’re done?”

“Asshole,” Jared gasps, and his cheeks are burning but he can’t help it, he’s imagining her face and then his hips are jerking forward as he comes, so bright and sharp in his gut that he’s doubling over, clutching at the back of Jensen’s shirt and trying to stifle a shout.

Jared’s been waiting for the other shoe to drop, if he’s being honest with himself. Everything has gone so smoothly with them. It’s been over a year, and he’s still convinced he’s going to fuck this up; it can’t possibly be this easy.

Jared’s pretty sure the shoe hit the ground today, when Jensen mentioned someone else and Jared just — well. That.

Jensen has a territorial streak a mile wide. He’s quick to move in when he feels like someone’s too close to Jared, asserting himself with a hand on the back of Jared’s neck, fingers in his hair, something quietly possessive. Dirty talk is one thing; the way Jared reacted to it must have been more than enough to set off a red alert in that jealous corner of Jensen’s brain.

He’s already steeling himself as Jensen slides into the bed, turns the light off, and spoons up behind him to kiss the curve of his neck.

“We gonna talk about that?” Jensen murmurs. Jensen doesn’t sound mad, but he’s a good fucking actor.

“I don’t know what you’re—”

“Don’t.” His huff of a laugh tickles Jared’s neck.

Jared’s not sure what the fuck is wrong with him, because he finally has what he’s wanted for so many years, finally, and he’s so ridiculously, breathtakingly, head-over-heels in love with Jensen that he can barely see straight sometimes. It’s hard to take his eyes off Jensen, and it definitely gets in the way of things like eating or sleeping or remembering his lines, and so it’s kind of amazing to him that his brain even has space to notice another person, but… he notices her. He can’t help it.

Jensen slides a palm over his hip, tracing the shape of bone and muscle with the tips of his fingers and then dipping down to cup his cock.

Fuck.

Jared tries to ignore the feeling that he’s walking into a trap, somehow.

“It was hot,” he admits softly.

“Fuckin’ right it was,” Jensen says, low and suggestive against his ear. “Ever thought about that? Somebody watching?”

He’s getting hard embarrassingly fast and he knows Jensen can feel it. Jared squirms back against him. For a second it’s easy to forget what they were talking about, and by the time he remembers, he doesn’t particularly care any more.

“Can you—” he breathes, and Jensen nips the round of his shoulder before rolling away for a second. When he comes back, there’s the click of a bottle opening and closing, and then Jensen’s teasing with one slick finger, grazing sensitive skin in little circles until Jared’s gritting his teeth against the urge to beg.

“You never answered my question,” Jensen whispers. One finger sinks in slow, and Jared shudders.

Right. That.

“It’s not a thing or whatever. I was close, and your voice — you could recite a grocery list in that fucking voice and I’d get hard.”

“Oh yeah?”

Jared can hear the smirk.

“It was just… in the moment,” he insists. “I’d never — hearing you talk about it was hot, but... I’ve never — not seriously.” He’s glad Jensen can’t see the way he blushes.

The second finger feels like a stretch, a burn that streaks up his spine and dissolves quickly into sparks, discomfort easing into a wash of pleasure.

“But you like talking about it,” Jensen rasps, and for a second Jared has no fucking idea what they were just saying. Jensen curls his fingers just right and white fireworks dance behind Jared’s eyelids.

“Maybe,” he gasps. He tries to brace himself against the mattress, pushing back, arching shamelessly. Jensen kisses the nape of his neck, dragging an open-mouthed kiss down the knobs of Jared’s spine.

“So let’s talk about it,” Jensen says, lips still touching, smearing the words across his skin. He kisses the curve of his neck, bites it, a bright grounding point of sensation as he pulls his hand away.

“More?” Jared whispers, just as Jensen’s fingers slide in again, three this time, slow, overwhelming.

There’s a prickle of heat all over his skin. Jared focuses on breathing. Jensen matches him so that they’re inhaling and exhaling in sync, and it’s deafening in the dark, silent, still room.

Jensen’s fingers fuck him open slowly, twisting, brushing up against the spot that makes Jared whimper, again and again and —

“Was it because you imagined somebody walking it? Or because you imagined her walking in?” Jensen asks.

Jared goes cold all over for a second, cold and then fever-hot again as pure panic zings up his spine. He can’t answer, but it doesn’t matter; if Jensen’s asking that question, it’s because he already knows the answer.

He bites back a whimper, torn between shame and arousal. He’s frozen.

“Whoa, no,” Jensen says, obviously alarmed. “That’s not — Jesus, I’m sorry, I would never — I don’t care.” He pulls his fingers away and curls himself around Jared, kissing the hollow behind Jared’s ear, making soft shushing sounds, crooning reassurances until Jared starts to relax. “You didn’t do anything wrong. Okay? Why would you even think that?”

Jared knows him, knows how he sounds when he’s angry, knows that this isn’t that, and he’s not really sure why he panicked, now; Jensen wouldn’t set him up like that. He just wouldn’t.

It’s Jared’s own fault, anxiety and guilt and relentless fucking insecurities. He should know better.

“Sorry,” is all he can manage, in a rough strangled voice. He doesn’t know what to do with the leftover adrenaline fizzing in his veins.

“Hey, listen to me,” Jensen whispers, with just enough steel in his tone that Jared can’t help but pay attention. “I just —I don’t care who you’re attracted to, because… you love me, right?”

“Of course. Why would you even—”

“So it doesn’t matter who you’re thinking about, because you’re still mine. Right?”

“Right,” Jared mumbles. He’s still not entirely sure why Jensen brought her up in the first place, if not out of jealousy, but Jensen’s fingers are sliding in again, thick knuckles opening him up. It’s distracting.

“If I was there too — if it was something we could do together — ” Jensen says, hesitant. “I wouldn’t mind sharing you.”

“Oh,” Jared breathes.

This is so not how he expected this conversation to go.

“If I was telling you what to do…” Jared groans, ragged and drawn-out, and Jensen lets out a shaky exhale before he continues: “You’re so good for me. So good at doing what you’re told.”

“Holy shit.”

Before Jensen, Jared would’ve considered himself thoroughly fucking vanilla, but Jensen has this way of pushing buttons that Jared never knew existed. Inventing new buttons, maybe. They’re, like, Jensen-specific buttons, and fuck, Jared’s not making sense even to himself, and he’s about to lose his goddamn mind here.

“On your stomach,” Jensen orders. He urges Jared forward and moves with him, sliding on top of him, hot soft skin and sinewy strength blanketing him and grounding him and holding him in place.

“Come on, just—.”

The words turn into a sigh as Jensen sinks into him. He grabs Jared’s wrists, squeezing almost too tight, pinning him down. He rocks his hips, pushing in deeper, inch by inch, until Jared’s shaking and full and so tense he feels like he’s vibrating.

“So good,” Jensen croons again. “I should show you off, let everybody see how well trained you are… is that what you want?”

Jared twitches under him, hips jerking, fingers flexing, uncoordinated and involuntary.

“Yeah. Yes. Fuck.”

He’s never imagined anything like that in his life, but the image sears itself into his brain, and he knows he’ll be thinking about that for a long goddamn time. His cock is uncomfortably hard, trapped between his stomach and the mattress, and every thrust has him rubbing against the sheets, too rough and nowhere near enough.

Jensen grinds in with this long undulating snaky movement that drags like a match being struck, and the friction ignites inside him, sparkling hot. He tries to muffle the raw ugly cry in the back of his throat by pressing his face down into the mattress. A few more of those rolling sinuous thrusts and Jared’s burning up, not really sure if those are words coming out of his mouth or just nonsense, but he thinks he’s begging, stuttering out curses and pleas.

“I’ve imagined the two of you together,” Jensen says, gravelly and shredded. “What you’d look like… what I’d tell you to do to her.”

“Fuck,” Jared slurs, and tries to bite down on the sheet. He’s so close, too close, just needs something —

Then Jensen slides a hand from Jared’s wrist to his hair, and he grabs, twists, forces Jared’s head to one side so that the next wild sound rings out loud.

“Mine,” he growls, close and hot and everywhere. He fucks in deep, pulls Jared’s hair hard, and that sting is exactly the catalyst Jared needed; he lets go, goes under, with Jensen repeating it like an echo: “Mine.”

“We can protect you,” Sam declares.

“It’s not your job to take care of me,” she says defiantly.

“I want to help. I can—”

“Because you don’t have enough to deal with?” she scoffs, but she’s blinking back tears. “What about you?”

Sam shrugs. “I won’t let anything happen to you. I can’t. I’d rather have you safe than—”

She practically throws herself at him, hugging him so hard it knocks the air out of his lungs, and Sam closes his eyes, holding her tight.

“Cut!” Rich yells.

For a moment, Jared’s frozen, caught in the scene, and he has to forcefully wrench himself back out. Her arms are still wrapped around him, her face buried in his chest, and he can feel the way she inhales, shaky, before pulling away.

“You okay?” he asks. His voice cracks. She gives him a watery smile.

“That was… wow,” Rich says, grinning from ear to ear. “Nailed it. That’s a wrap for today. Get some rest, you deserve it.”

Jared’s stuck in Sam’s skin, and it sucks. He’s never been good at keeping his own emotions neat and tidy; add Sam’s weight-of-the-world mess on top of that, and he’s a wreck.

Jared looks around automatically for Jensen, but Jensen’s been in production meetings all day, doing important director things. He texts instead:

Done soon? Duckin weird heavy day

Meant fuckin obv, no ducks involved

Ugh miss you

He heads back to his chair and starts gathering up his stuff, and she comes up next to him without a word, slipping an arm around his waist and giving him a sideways squeeze. He sighs and turns into it, bundling her up in his arms, softer and sweeter than the hug their characters just shared. She doesn’t let go, and after a moment he can feel the tension starting to drain away. He still doesn’t feel like him, not quite re-settled in his own skin, but… it’s getting better.

He kisses the top of her head, getting a whiff of the unmistakable scent of her shampoo, or whatever that fruity shit is that Jared has come to know as her smell.

“Walk over to wardrobe with me?” he asks.

“I need a minute,” she says, the words muffled in flannel. He hates the tremor in her voice. “Before I have to walk through all the chaos. Y’know?”

“Yeah. Want to just… sit with me, for a sec?”

She scoots her chair over to face his, close enough that their knees are touching. For a second she just looks at him, like she’s about to ask if he’s okay and does he want to talk about it, but the answer is a resounding no and she must read that on his face.

Jared’s always had that problem; everything he feels shows on his face. The only reason he managed to hide his feelings for Jensen for so long is that he never even acknowledged them to himself. He fidgets uncomfortably, self-conscious, and makes himself stop messing with his hair. He doesn’t really want to know what she’s seeing as she looks at him.

She grabs his hands and holds them, palm to palm, and it takes Jared a minute to catch on; she’s playing that stupid game where she’s trying to slap the tops of his hands before he can pull them away.

“I haven’t done this since middle school,” he says, flustered, trying to focus. “Dork.”

“Gotcha!”

He tries and fails an embarrassing number of times to get her back.

“No fair. My hands are like five times the size of yours, they make a bigger target,” he protests.

She giggles. “It’s true, you’ve got the bigass moose hands.”

She takes one of his hands in both of hers, laying it palm-up and leaning in closely to inspect it. Jared smells that fruity sweet scent again, and he has to fight the urge to run his fingers through her hair.

“Can you read palms?” he asks.

“Mmmhmm.” She frowns down at his hand.

“What?”

“See this super faint line right here?” She traces one with the very tip of her finger; it tickles.

Jared shivers. He’s paying attention to the feel of her soft hands more than her words, but he nods and says, “Yeah.”

“That’s your grace line. The way it’s all fragmented and faint means you’re clumsy as fuck.”

“Huh.”

“This one around your middle finger is the ring of the bird. Means you’re really bad at staying angry. This one is the line of the doofus, means—”

“Wait a second,” Jared says, laughing as the words sink in. “You’re so full of shit. I’ll give you a ring of the bird.”

He shoves his middle finger right up in her face and uses it to poke her forehead, and she giggles, swatting his hand away. It devolves rapidly into a sort of childish slap fight.

“Wow,” comes a low, teasing drawl, and Jared starts in his seat, turning to Jensen weirdly fast. He’s not sure why he feels like a kid caught with his hand in a cookie jar. They weren’t doing anything wrong.

“Hey,” Jared says, breathless, and pushes his chair back awkwardly so that he’s not quite so close to her.

He expects jealousy, but Jensen’s not doing his usual steely jaw-clench-y thing. He looks uncertain, like he’s not even sure how he feels, but his smile is genuine and warm and crinkle-eyed.

“Feeling better?” he asks.

“Oh! Right. I’m… yeah, actually. I’m fine.” He’s stunned by how true it is.

“Thanks for that,” Jensen tells her quietly.

Jared frowns. “I don’t need someone to—”

“It was mutual,” she interrupts.

The sweet little half-smile on her face makes Jared forget his ruffled feathers. He looks between the two of them.

“Um… to wardrobe?” he asks Jensen.

Jensen nods and asks her, “You coming?”

She shrugs and gives Jensen another tentative smile, and they all fall into step. Jared can’t really accept how easy it feels, but he doesn’t want to question it, at least not now.

Jared’s used to the way Jensen shuts down sometimes, the way he curls into his shell when he’s anxious or stressed, but it feels different now that they’re together. They’ve been together for a fucking year. He feels like he should know how to deal with this.

For someone who’s remarkably direct in almost every part of his life, Jensen is a champion at stonewalling people when he really wants to; the more Jared pokes and prods, the higher the walls get. Jensen’s been edgy all day, and it’s bad enough that everyone has noticed. Jared’s pretty sure this is about him, so he’s determined to fix it; Jensen said he wasn’t threatened, but… yeah. It’s the only explanation, and it’s making Jared second-guess everything he says and does and fucking thinks, and he’s just pissing Jensen off more.

“Are you sure there’s nothing I can do to help?” Jared asks.

“You can stop bouncing your knee like that, for starters,” Jensen grumbles. “And then you can stop asking me that fucking question.”

“Sorry.”

“Nothing’s wrong,” Jensen insists stubbornly. “Okay? I just need some space.”

Jared sighs and knuckles at his eyes. This is fucking exhausting.

“Fine.”

Just as he’s about to stand up, there’s a loud knock on the trailer door.

“It’s open,” Jensen shouts reluctantly, already trying to control his own scowl. The door slams open.

“Hey,” she says cheerfully, juggling a large paper bag and a tray of coffee cups as she tries to shut the door behind herself.

“I got it,” Jared says, jumping up to help. She gives him a grateful smile and shoves the coffee tray at him. One of them has his name scrawled on the side. “Wait, really? For me?”

“Your favorite.”

“You’re my favorite,” he says, and immediately wants to smack himself in the forehead. “I mean—”

“S’okay, she’s my favorite right now too,” Jensen admits dryly.

“You mentioned wanting to try that new place, right?” She plops the bag down on the table and makes herself at home next to Jensen on the couch. Jared’s still standing awkwardly, hovering, not sure what to do with himself.

“The bakery?” Jensen asks. She caught him off-guard before he could fully put on his polite mask with the camera-ready smile. He doesn’t seem to know how to feel about that.

“Yeah! I got a little of everything, figured we should taste test.”

“You didn’t have to do that,” Jensen protests. She just waves a macaron at him until he caves, biting it right out of her hand and making a deliriously happy noise.

“Don’t get me wrong, this was not a purely altruistic gesture,” she laughs, taking a bite of her own. “Plenty to go around.”

She offers one to Jared, but he shakes his head ruefully. “I was just about to go.”

Jensen glances up again, and something softens in his expression. His smile looks like an apology.

“Stay,” he says quietly. He holds up a mini lemon tart as a peace offering. Jared takes a bite, letting out an obscene moan that’s only kinda exaggerated, before taking a seat on Jensen’s other side.

“Okay, let’s get down to business,” she says, straight-faced as she gestures to the spread. “We have our work cut out for us.”

“With great power comes great responsibility,” Jensen deadpans. They dig in.

Jared’s still not entirely sure what just happened, but he doesn’t care as long as Jensen’s smiling.

By the time they’re down to the last few cookies, Jared’s sugar-high and over-caffeinated and happier than he’s been all week. He’s also starting to suspect that maybe he’s not the cause of Jensen’s mood after all.

Jared sucks a smudge of icing off his own thumb, and there’s a flicker of heat in Jensen’s eyes as he tracks the movement. Then he shakes his head like he’s laughing at himself.

“Be right back,” he tells them, and heads for the bathroom.

As soon as the door closes behind him, Jared turns to look at her, wide-eyed. Her smile falters.

“Is this okay? I know he’s been… off.”

“That’s a nice way of saying it,” Jared laughs.

“I wanted to see if I could cheer him up.” She looks self-conscious now, which was really not the point.

“You did. This is awesome, but — I’m just surprised he let you,” Jared admits. “I’ve known him for a long fucking time and there are still days… I don’t know.”

“Figured if I asked, he’d just say no, so… didn’t bother asking.” She shrugs like it’s nothing. “Sometimes it’s easier to get out of your head when you’re with someone you don’t know as well, right?”

There are about a million things Jared wants to say, but he hears the toilet flush, so he just whispers, “Thanks,” and hopes she knows how much he means it.

“Jesus, I’m stuffed,” Jensen says, flopping back down between them. He reaches for the last raspberry puff-thing anyway and eats it in one bite, making a goofy face that’s 100% Dean, and they both laugh. He swallows and wipes his mouth, somehow managing to leave a streak of confectioner’s sugar from the corner of his lips down to his jaw.

“You’ve got a—” Jared says, but he just leans in and licks it off.

Jensen angles his head for a real kiss. He’s smiling, and he tastes like raspberries, and Jared really doesn’t want to stop kissing him.

When they break apart, she looks away quickly enough to make it obvious that she was staring. Her cheeks go pink as she bites her lip.

“I’m gonna go,” she says, fumbling for her bag.

“Don’t,” Jared says. “Sorry, didn’t mean to go all PDA on you, just—”

She’s already heading for the door.

“Stay?” Jensen asks softly. He clearly means it, and that makes her pause.

“It’s almost time for me to be back on set anyway,” she says, still blushing. “I should—”

“If you’re sure, but… thank you,” Jensen says sincerely.

“Any time!”

She grins over her shoulder and then she’s gone before either of them can get up to hug her goodbye. Jared watches the door close behind her, disappointed, and he’s almost embarrassed to be caught staring until he realizes Jensen’s doing the same thing.

“She’s… yeah,” Jensen muses. “Of all the people you could be crushing on? I like her.”

Jared’s kinda mystified, because if that’s not what Jensen was upset about, he has no idea what the issue was, but he also feels a thousand pounds lighter.

“Love you,” he blurts out.

“Love you too,” Jensen says, pulling him in for another sugary kiss.

There are a few moments in the next couple days when Jared can see that black cloud hovering over Jensen’s head again, but they’re shooting his episode, so Jared writes it off as director-stress. Instead of worrying, Jared just tries to distract him, and he’s amazed by how well it works.

Of course, as soon as he’s stopped fixating on it, Jensen brings it up. All these years and it never occurred to Jared that avoiding the issue entirely would be the best way to get Jensen to talk about something he doesn’t want to fucking talk about.

“I’m sorry for being a dick this week,” he says bluntly, sitting down on the couch next to Jared and passing him a beer.

Jared laughs, still channel-surfing. “It’s fine. Honestly. At first I thought — I don’t know. Whatever. It’s fine.”

Jensen grabs the remote out of his hand and mutes the TV, and Jared shifts, curling a little closer so he can take in the abruptly serious expression on Jensen’s face.

“I got a call… there’s this developer who wants to buy my property,” Jensen says. “And they’re offering a lot of money, but —”

“Isn’t that a good thing?” Jared asks. “You were gonna sell it eventually anyway, right?”

The tips of Jensen’s ears are pink.

“I wanted to look at my options, and… you know. Talk to you about it.”

Jared shrugs. “Okay. Will all your shit even fit in my house? Maybe we should get a storage unit.”

Jensen stares at him blankly for a second. His mouth opens and closes a few times before he asks, “Seriously? That’s it?”

“You’re talking about moving in, right?” Jared asks. “You’re always at my house anyway, it’s not — wait. Is that what you were stressing about?”

Jensen actually glares as Jared starts to laugh. Jared gestures vaguely around at the Vancouver apartment they’ve shared for fucking years, and eventually Jensen starts laughing too, burying his face in his palms. The back of his neck is flushed, and Jared can’t fucking believe him, or this, or… the whole situation, really.

Of all the absurd shit.

“It just felt like a big deal,” Jensen says sheepishly. “I thought… I didn’t want to assume, and I didn’t know how long I had to decide, and I wanted to go through all my options and have it all laid out for you, because I didn’t want you to think — I don’t fucking know. Jesus. Asking someone to move in with you is generally a big deal! I was just freaking out a little.”

“You pulled a me, in other words?” Jared asks, laughing again. Jensen jokingly tries to push him away and Jared scoots closer.

Jensen always seems so sure about things. Jared forgets, sometimes, that he worries too.

“It was a busy week, and I didn’t want to just jump into it, because if you said no and it turned into a whole big thing I worried it would get in the way when I was directing, and — fucking hell. You hate it when I say ‘we need to have a conversation about something but not right now.’”

“Well, yeah,” Jared huffs. “That’s the worst. But you could’ve at least told me it wasn’t my fault!”

Jensen makes a dismissive sound. “Why the fuck would it be your fault?”

“Seriously?”

“I mean… yeah, nothing happened, why would you —”

“This is fucking ridiculous,” Jared half-shouts, torn between exasperation and laughter. “I thought you were jealous! I told you I was attracted to somebody else, and — for fuck’s sake.”

“Did something happen with her, since we talked about that?” Jensen asks. Jared has a momentary urge to smack him.

“No. Obviously not. I just thought…”

They both just stare at each other, and then Jensen starts shaking his head slowly as realization dawns. Jared laughs, giddy and almost hysterical, pressing the heels of his hands to his eyes.

“Did you think I was just going to sulk about it for a few days without telling you, and then… what, end it?” Jensen asks, as if it’s insane.

Jared shrugs helplessly. “I mean… yeah, I guess.”

Jensen sighs, pinching the bridge of his nose as he chooses his words. For a moment Jared thinks he’s angry, but when Jensen looks at him again, there’s nothing but this raw tenderness all over his face.

“Look,” he says, slow and deliberate. “I know I go all caveman when other people try to flirt with you, but it’s not because I don’t trust you. Okay?”

“That’s not —”

“Hang on. Hear me out here. You can’t beat yourself up for looking at someone, Jared. Or for pheromones, or what-fucking-ever. You can’t. I don’t care who else you look at, as long as you still want me, at the end of the day. Relax, okay?”

Jensen’s hands curl around his upper arms, holding him firmly, until Jared rests his forehead against Jensen’s and takes a deep breath.

“You really don’t mind?”

“I don’t. I’m fucking seriously in love with you, and I need you to know that you can tell me anything. It’s not going to change the way I feel about you. Just fucking tell me, and then we can deal with it together. As long as you’re honest.”

Jared can’t help but ask, “Do I need to point out how hypocritical —”

“Don’t even start,” Jensen laughs. “That’s different. Asking someone to make a huge fucking life change with you is different from… feeling guilty for thinking a girl is cute, or whatever. She’s fucking cute. You’re not blind.”

“You don’t think I’m an asshole?” His voice cracks.

“What? Why would I?”

“I feel like… I feel like the luckiest person in the fucking world, Jay, you’ve gotta know that.” Jared’s tearing up, because of course he is, and the intensity in Jensen’s expression isn’t helping, but the words start to spill out faster: “I never thought I could have this. This — us — it’s better than anything I ever fucking imagined, and it’s not like you’re not enough for me. You’re… this is everything to me. So how the fuck do I still want more? I don’t deserve this, let alone —”

He bites his lip to cut himself off. He didn’t realize he was going to say that out loud. It’s a little too true.

“Look at me,” Jensen growls, fierce and almost angry.

“Sorry,” Jared half-laughs, wiping away tears.

“First of all, you deserve the fucking universe,” Jensen says flatly, like it’s a very simple fact. “And even if you didn’t, I don’t give a shit, I’d still do anything to make you happy.” He brings his hands to Jared’s face, holding him so that he can’t look away. “But also? You feel more than anyone else I’ve ever met. If anybody’s got enough love for two people, it’d be you.”

Jared snorts. “It’s not like it could actually happen, it’s just —”

“Why not? As much as you like to think you’re a goddamn trailblazer, this isn’t revolutionary,” Jensen retorts, all snark. “Polyamory is a thing that people do. You can date her while you’re with me. Everybody can get what they want here.”

“Even if it was that simple—” Jared knows it’s not that simple. “—she’s not interested in me, so—”

Jensen cuts him off: “You’re an idiot. She’s fucking crazy about you.”

He looks fond and exasperated and very sure of himself, and for a moment, Jared wonders if maybe he’s right. Then he shakes his head, trying to articulate how he feels.

“I think… I’d feel weird if it wasn’t something I could share with you,” he says honestly. “I like sharing things with you. I want to share everything with you.”

Jensen’s expression goes soft and painfully sweet. “Sap.”

Jared shrugs. He can’t really deny that one. He leans in and kisses Jensen instead.

Jensen grabs him and physically hauls him closer, until they’re all tangled together, and kisses him again, hard enough to bruise.

“Is there anything else we need to get out in the open?” Jared asks wryly, when they finally break for air. “Now that we’ve established we’re both fucking morons who need to talk to each other?”

“Fuck it, while we’re on the subject of sharing.” Jensen looks at him intently. His lips are all red and swollen. “The whole threesome thing? Just for the record, I was dead fuckin’ serious about being into that idea.”

“Oh,” Jared says blankly. “But what if —”

Jensen curls a hand around the back of his neck, pulling him closer, smirking. “Stop thinking. Not right fucking now. Not when we’re filming with her for a week solid,” he says, because he can read Jared’s mind. “Someday.”

“Someday,” Jared agrees.

“You ate those cookies,” Jensen says.

Oh.

Fuck.

Jared’s stomach swoops. He recognizes it now, the way she’s holding herself rigid, the panic that shows around her dark dilated pupils; he can feel it like it was yesterday, overwhelming and out of control and fucking humiliating.

“Fuck,” he says, shaking his head. What the fuck else can he say?

She stammers, squeezing her eyes shut like she’s refusing to think about it: “Drugs? Were the cookies drugged? Why do I feel…”

“Like if you don’t get some dick you’re gonna die?” he says bluntly. Her eyes go wide. “Been there.”

“What did you — um.”

It’s so fucking strange, thinking back to that night, just like it’s strange thinking about anything that happened before they were together. He remembers the electricity between them, the intensity of it, the way it felt to touch Jensen for the first time… he looks sideways at Jensen and knows he’s remembering it too.

“I’ll go back to my room,” she says, her voice strained and scared.

“Needs to be another person,” Jared says. His throat feels clogged, and the words come out thick and clumsy. “Believe me, I tried. But if you’re okay with it…”

His voice falters as he realizes what he’s actually offering. For a split-second, Jared feels guilty, like he brought this on somehow by sheer force of wishful thinking. It wasn’t supposed to be like this, though. Jared looks at Jensen helplessly, but Jensen’s watching her, brow furrowed with concern, and Jared is reminded (forcefully) that this isn’t about him.

“We’ve got you,” Jensen finishes, warm and sure.

She shakes her head. “I can’t ask —”

“You’re not asking.”

She looks so scared. Jared remembers that part, too: he didn’t want to look Jensen in the eyes, because he was so fucking certain he’d see disgust there, or pity, or something fucking awful like that.

Jared empathizes so intensely that he feels sick for a second. He flounders, wondering what he can say to put her at ease, make her feel wanted, and then he chuckles to himself, realizing that the truth is probably his best option here.

“It’s not like it’s a fucking hardship, y’know? Have you seen you?”

It shocks a laugh out of her, at least. Jared counts it as a win.

Then she squeezes her eyes closed again, face screwed-up and anguished, and all Jared can think about is getting rid of that pained expression. He settles on the bed next to her, takes the cool washcloth off her forehead and strokes her hair carefully, hating the way she’s frowning. She turns to look at him, and he feels like he’s about to burst with the urge to just bundle her up in a bear hug and protect her.

“Yeah, okay,” she says abruptly, soft but sure. “Yes.”

“C’mere then.”

Jared slides closer, resting a hand ever-so-gently on the curve of her waist, and she rolls onto her side to face him, eyes huge and desperate. Jensen is settling at her back. She fits so neatly between the two of them. She’s trembling, but it’s okay; Jared’s pretty sure he is too. He glances over her shoulder at Jensen.

Jensen just smiles, saying without words it’s okay and I’ve got you and together, and the last of Jared’s worries evaporate.

“You’re gonna have to stop thinking so hard,” he tells her gently, because he knows that expression a little too well. Jensen lets out a quiet snort of laughter, which is fair, because Jared saying that to someone else is like the pot telling the kettle to stop being black.

Then he’s cupping her cheek, tilting her chin, kissing her, and the noise in his head goes silent, for once; everything goes silent, just evaporates the fuck away, and all Jared can feel is the sweet soft shape of her lips as they part, the slick slide of her tongue, the way she sighs… he can feel her just melting into it, and there’s something about it that takes his breath away. She goes pliant in his arms, relaxing completely, like every muscle in her body is showing him: I trust you. The enormity of that trust is what has him spinning with need, rocketing from zero to sixty in five seconds flat.

There’s a warmth blossoming in Jared’s chest that is so far beyond a crush it’s not even funny. He’s pretty sure he’s fucked, but he can’t think about that, not now, not with the way she’s responding, surging up to meet him and draw him in deeper. The only thing that matters right now is taking care of her. He just wants to make her feel good; the rest can wait. He’ll deal with his own cracked-open heart tomorrow.

For a moment Jared’s convinced it was all a dream, but when he opens his eyes, she’s the first thing he sees. She’s curled up with her hands tucked under her chin, oddly childlike, and her face is totally serene.

She’s beautiful in a way that still takes him by surprise every time he looks at her.

Jesus pogo-jumping Christ. Jared is fucked.

Before he can really spiral out about it, though, Jensen is stirring at his back. Jared rolls over, muscles complaining about last night’s exertion, and he sprawls out half on top of Jensen, trying to keep his breathing even. Jensen runs a hand through Jared’s tangled hair, finger-combing gently.

“So that was… pretty amazing,” Jensen whispers, so quiet Jared barely catches the words.

“Yeah.”

There’s a question on the tip of his tongue and he’s burning to hear the answer, but he’s pretty sure it’s a bad idea to just spit it out like this.

Because he’s apparently a mind reader now, Jensen answers the question anyway: “I would really love to do that again.”

Jared exhales slowly. “Same.”

“But… I think it’s going to be complicated. Emotionally.”

Apparently they’re just diving the fuck into this.

Jared closes his eyes, trying to ignore the ache in his chest. He shifts, sliding on top of Jensen, propped up on his elbows. He pauses like that for a moment, taking in the pillow creases on Jensen’s cheek and the concern in his eyes.

Jensen hesitates, lips twitching down into a nervous frown before he continues: “I knew how you felt about her, but — well, I guess you’re not the only one.”

Jared blinks down at him. “What are you saying?”

Jensen reaches up and traces the line of Jared’s jaw, then his lower lip, and Jared brushes a clumsy kiss to the side of his knuckle. Jensen smiles, looking a little more sure of himself.

“Watching the two of you — I think it could be more. The three of us could be… something. It felt right.” He frowns. “Tell me that wasn’t just me?”

There’s this crazy swell of emotion happening in Jared’s chest, and he’s afraid he might choke on it for a moment. He kisses Jensen, smiling into it, and Jensen’s hands slide up his back, making his skin tingle in their wake.

Jared hesitates. “What if she — I don’t think she feels —”

“I think she’s been almost as deep in denial about this as you have,” Jensen says gently. “I don’t think she’s allowed herself to consider it, because of me, and if she knew…”

“What if —” Jared sneaks a glance at her; she’s still sleeping peacefully. He doesn’t know how to finish that sentence.

“If this is gonna work, we need to lay it all out for her,” Jensen says, so quiet that Jared feels the vibration of the words more than he hears them. “Even if it’s just sex for her, or… if this was a one-time deal. We gotta be honest with her.”

“That sounds like a terrible fucking idea,” Jared says honestly. “How does that not scare the shit out of you?”

Jensen just shrugs. “It does, a little bit. But… you’re the only thing that matters, when it comes down to it. As long as we’re in this together, the rest doesn’t seem too scary.”

It sounds so fucking simple when he puts it like that.

“Yeah, okay,” Jared whispers, leaning down to kiss him again. “Together.”

If you enjoyed this, please reblog or leave a message over here!

#j2 #j2 fic #jensen ackles x jared padalecki #j2 smut #jared padalecki x reader x jensen ackles

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infinitelytheheartexpands · 3 years

Text

Responses from the Opera Screencaps Captioning Quiz

Hello, everyone, and thank you for taking my quiz! I had SO MUCH fun reading your captions-- there were several times I literally started crying from laughing so hard at the amazingness of your work! With that in mind, the captions (which I will continue to add onto as more people take it):

(also, thank you to @dichterfuerstin for translating the German captions I got)

originally taken from: the Wiener Staatsoper’s 2020 production of Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart’s Die Entführung aus dem Serail, featuring Regula Mühlemann (center) as Blonde, Michael Laurenz (right) as Pedrillo, and an unnamed extra (left) as the Grim Reaper

Responses:

(Backstage warm-up) “ok so someone dropped the pulse”

me and my friends watching the fire burn after doing arson

Introducing the polycule to the parents

*boom* ... did...you guys hear that too?

Ma Signor !

Knight in whinging armour gone wrong, look at how he holds the egg. Polyamory with weird knight and death.

the father, son and the holy ghost are very gay

the gays meeting for brunch, 2021, colorized

chicken lady forces death and a very flamboyantly homosexual anthropomorphized pink bird to be parents of her egg (they dont want to be)

That’s just me and my friends on our night out (before covid rip)-- closest

A Good Friday night

good omens (2019)

["the pocket guide to boy/girl/mischief" meme] who's the boy and who's the mischief though????

Papageno and Papagena take their first-born egg trick-or-treating

Angry Birds - The Musical. A pig stole an egg and the bird unites with death to take revenge.

I love my bird wife

Someone got murdered during the funky chicken dance

throuple murders child and steals sibling of said child

When you and your friends have widely different tastes in literature

angel leading twink to his rightful place (hell)

draco malfoy from a very potter musical and a death eater are very much in the wrong show

What have I gotten myself into

Mlm/wlw solidarity but I’m not telling who is who

A woman stands with a pink dipshit with an egg and a reaper.

A bird-couple makes a pact with Death, sacrificing their first-born bird-child in order to bring good luck upon their unborn bird-baby

There are three types of people on Halloween:

Uh oh, I don’t think the mother hen is very happy about this...

oh god, they’ve invented seussical. It’s too early!

gay brunch

Three little maids from school are we

guys maybe if we dress gay enough we can distract everyone from the dead flapper bee in the back

those three killed a duck for her egg and are facing the conswquences.

Duck has egg with human, shocked and upset due to biological impossibility

When you bout to make a banging omelet so you invite your fellow queers

"No mortal man could pass that egg, but heaven shall repair your rectum."

originally taken from: the Salzburg Festival’s 2007 production of Hector Berlioz’s Benvenuto Cellini, featuring Maija Kovalevska (left) as Teresa Balducci, Laurent Naouri (center, in chimney) as Fieramosca, and Burkhard Fritz (right) as Benvenuto Cellini

Responses:

“In this same interlude it doth befall That I, one Snout by name, present a wall; And such a wall, as I would have you think, That had in it a crannied hole or chink, Through which the lovers, Pyramus and Thisby, Did whisper often very secretly. This loam, this rough-cast and this stone doth show That I am that same wall; the truth is so: And this the cranny is, right and sinister, Through which the fearful lovers are to whisper.” - a midsummer night’s dream, act v scene 1

"ah yes a prime specimen. see here, right in this box is our one of a kind hob goblin that can be all yours for the low low price of your soul"

what, YOU don't have a special eavesdropping chimney window?

Hänsel und Gretel plotting against the witch

man takes a wrong turn and ends up in a chimney, catches his girlfriend cheating-- closest

when you end up third wheeling the straight couple

lady cheats on her leather jacket wearing scummy boyfriend and when he unexpectedly comes home she hides the lover in the chimney

A straight girl and her gay best friend gossip about stuff idk

Idk Shakespeare?

experimental couples therapy feat. the chimney mf from mary poppins

Area Couple Inadvertently Traps Santa-in-Training in Chimney as they Attempt Rooftop Flirting

Landlords laugh over student renter's misfortune

I never asked for this

Ay yo lil mama lemme whisper in your ear

voyeurist listens to sandy and Danny from grease

Psssst! Did you hear about Susan? You won’t believe it!

lady and the tramp meets beauty and the beast?

human trafficking

And for just $30 you too could have your own tiny brick cage!

Psst I’m wearing assless chaps under this dress

A couple tortures a man in a box.

It's all fun and games being stuck in a chimney until your greasy uncle steals your crush from right above you-- okay ngl this could actually be a great Don Pasquale concept

Taking eavesdropping to the next level

Will you two stop being lovey dovey and let me out? SUMMER LOVIN, HAPPENED SO FAST—

overhearing how people talk about you when they think they're alone puts you in the shithouse

Does he know we can see him?

dear god, i am so fucking hungry, yall please just do whatever heterosexuals do so i can go eat a popsicle

the human version of the trash man from sesame street is realizing that those two are going to fuck on his trash can

Tmw you capture an angry short dude and start trashtalking him where he can hear

Omg what if we kissed but we actually kissed the lil goblin man under us

"Remember, don't feed him after midnight"

originally taken from: the Théâtre de Capitole du Toulouse’s 2017 staging of Giacomo Meyerbeer’s Le prophète, featuring Leonardo Estevez (right, on fake horse) as Le Comte d’Oberthal

Responses:

“When I said we needed to drain the swamp I didn’t think there were people actually living there”

horse? what horse? no sir i dont know what horse youre referring to.

definitely don't have a napoleon complex going on

King stole La Scala‘s Lohengrin set

king breaks all his horses, has to use statue dragged by servants as transportation because he’s too kingly too walk

Emperor Söder and his subjects on a carnival procession

man on horse makes a big deal out of being on a horse

That’s not Zeffirelli because the horse is not alive

Who the fuck put a horse on the stage

isn't this that picture of napoleon on the horse

Area Count Thinks Citizens will be Intimidated by his Extremely Fake-looking Horse Statue-- closest

Everyone wants their turn on the giant plaster horse. Police are there to make sure everyone waits their turn.

Night out with the lads

Local royalty horrified at the state of his own damn kingdom

gay army fights different gay aesthetics-- hi author how does it feel to be the funniest fucking person on this quiz

Well at least I LOOK badass

ceasar if he hadn't gotten stabbed (colourised)

some soldiers jumped out of my kindergarten fairytale collection book to burn the don carlos flemish deputies at the stake

It’s just a model

Is that how you feel pulling up in your Honda Civic, Madge?

Someone rides a horse statue in public.

Just a normal party with the bros.

what is this, some kind of crossover episode?

Terribly sorry for all the fuss, it’s just, that is, my horse is afraid of neck ruffles. I’ve tried to talk to him about it, but he’s—whoaaa there—he said he was a french courtier in a past life and he’s allergic to English fashion

Horse seller, listen to me! I am riding into battle. I need your strongest horse. - We have horses at home. - The horses at home:

All hail Incitatus the king

we are not ripping off shakespeare’s henry viii. what the fuck. this is about lenny xi you uncultured swine, go drown in a pit of your own farts

oh god is that hamilton

Guy Removed From Art Museum For Sitting On Statue, more at eleven

Gay <3

Officer: This horse... is a virgin! Crowd: *cheers*

originally taken from: the Parma Verdi Festival’s 2017 staging of Giuseppe Verdi’s Stiffelio, featuring Maria Katzarava (left) as Lina and Luciano Ganci (right) as Stiffelio

Responses:

That One kid in class

its a mEntAL BreAkDowN *final countdown but kazoo*

*record scratch* yeah, that's me. you're probably wondering how I got here-- closest

Dad keeps monologuing, teenager is done

left: all of my concerned friends, right: my emo ass having a very public mental breakdown

the demons in the corner of my room when im just trying to sleep

lady gets mansplained to (do i need to say more, we've all been there)

It’s probably an area baritone telling off an area soprano-- sorry; it’s a tenor. soprano is right though.

That was a fake horse in the last photo right?

child comes out as gay to father at a particularly bad time

dissociation solves everything

I can't believe it's not butter

Honey we talked about this

My sleep paralysis demon is Crowley from supernatural

child has nightmare of boring job

When you start dating a singer but he won’t stop practicing at night

just an average day in a hetero marriage

what do i do my wife's having period cramps again

Stop having an existential crisis. It’s time to sing!

“No son of mine will kin Gomez Addams under MY roof”

Crowley stares into space while a teen has post nut clarity.

When he wont stop reciting jordan peterson monologues!!

Do you realize how effed you are?

Ugh, not this lecture again! Dad’s Practicing For His Experimental Indie Band Again

asking your parents for help with your own personal situation and them just ranting off about what they went through instead of helping in any way

Will he shut up already!

no one tell him he’s yelling in the wrong direction, no one tell him plnsbdjddhdj

this kid is tired of his dad listening to rush limbaugh (a man who claimed to be pro life but died anyway)

Me internally vs externally

Daddy issues

originally taken from: the Grand Théâtre de Genève’s 2020 staging of Giacomo Meyerbeer’s Les Huguenots, featuring several chorus members

Responses:

It’s the deadly eye Of Poogley-pie. Look away, look away, As you walk by, ‘Cause whoever looks right at it Surely will die. It’s a good thing you didn’t … You did? … Good-bye. - shel Silverstein

why the fuckith? my good sir, i beg of you to put your pants back on

I hate this itchy hat

Titanic Extras hear that they have to do extra hours

people waiting to board the titanic watch someone fall off the plank

pov: you’re a time traveler

guy in the flatcap is embarrassed by patriotism and pathos

No idea. For some reason Le Marseillaise comes to mind

Is this from Harry Potter?

disneyland main street usa workers on strike

local tries to hide behind Newsies cap to avoid unpleasant but inevitable conversations. meanwhile, some very fashionable ladies look on.

"Thank fuck, 2020 was just a dream after all"

“We gather here today because this bitch got exactly what she deserved” “heaven!” “Stfu Stephanie she’s going to hell and we all know it”-- not quite but this basically happens later on in the opera (and act) so yeah (except the person in question very much Did Not Deserve It)

dc movie filter on bridgerton

america?

looks like my history teacher paused the prohibition documentary again

Who still wears page boy hats bro?

Coming out to a room of people who Already Knew That

Bitches are relieved at some party.

Several drunk people exiting getting off the subway attempting to seem sober and rational but realizing they have somehow lost all of their possessions

How tf do I act natural in this situation-- closest

“do you think any of them noticed that I don’t know the pledge of allegiance”

It's too fucking hot outside for this outfit

when hyyh yoonkook ending just hits different

pedestrians watch in horror as the triangle shirtwaist factory burns and the workers throw themselves out of the windows from a dozen stories up

Starting the pledge of allegiance be like

He's having a heart attack oh no oh god oh fuck

originally taken from: if I remember correctly, the Semperoper Dresden’s 2018 semi-staging of Johann Strauss II’s Die Fledermaus, with Jonas Kaufmann as Gabriel von Eisenstein

Responses:

“William Shakespeare wrote: "To thine own self be true And it must follow, as the night the day Thou canst not then be false to any man" I believe this wise statement best applies to a woman A blonde woman Over the past three years she taught me And showed us all That being true to yourself never goes out of style Ladies and gentlemen Our valedictorian: Elle Woods!” - legally blonde the musical

eat ass, suck a dick, and sell drugs

woooooorrrrd

Finally Jonas has graduated! It’s about time, considering he’s an international star.

what my professors think they look like

Prof. Dr. Dr. When someone tells him there are more than two genders

'and since you've now graduated high school, you'll be entering college etc. blablabla' .........meanwhile, there's a whole row of graduates daring each other to chug the cheap vodka one of them has brought in gallons (yes that happened at my graduation, lol)

Jonas darling baby <3-- can’t argue with that

I just realized I have no idea what the actual fuck happens in an opera

ok this one is just what jonas kaufmann always wears you can't fool me.

"as valedictorian i will share with you the importance of loving the floor"

"Yes, mother, my art degree will make me money!"

Graduation speakers are out, singers are in

Senior year takes a new meaninbg

mansplainer professor explains the concept of feminism to women

Your Prof when you finally turn in that missing assignment be like

younger boris johnson (derogatory)

jonas kaufmann retires from opera and takes up motivational speaking

What a fine graduation evening we’re having today

-70 points for slytherin you all have no swag

A man with a college hat sings.

An obviously greying actor trying to play a university student in a low-budget porn parody

How it feels to graduate high school after being held back for years

East High is a place where teachers encouraged us to break the status quo and define ourselves as we choose. Where a jock can cook up a mean crème brûlée, and a brainiac can break it down on the dance floor-

I may not have been "cool" in high school, but in ten years you will all be working for me!

I finally got my GED!

that one guy in ur intro to cultural anthropology class who mansplains to the professor somehow fucking graduated

he;s just graduating and taking his speech too serously idk

Graduation speeches with that one dude who got held back 3 times

Smrt

originally taken from: the Metropolitan Opera’s 2011 staging of Gioachino Rossini’s Le Comte Ory with Joyce DiDonato (left) as Isolier, Diana Damrau (center) as Countess Adèle, and Juan Diego Florez (right) as Le Comte Ory (disguised as a hermit)

Responses:

There is something very [disturbing grunts] About polyamorous couples - polyamorous, Chris Fleming

jinkies

femme fatale (including to herself)

I’ll have a threesome soon !

Hot guy walks by, everyone swoons.

thirdwheeling friend does not realize the other two are having sex

When your girlfriend had „just two beers“ again

jesus is exasperated about having to drag the two ladies towards doing what he needs them to do instead of purple dramatically declaring suicidal intent over the smallest trivial matters and red being equally dramatic about declaring that it's not the way! stay alive! i love you!!

The throuple is thriving

Get off the milf

orgy

my last three braincells because im a horny slut

countess receives too much love and is confused on how to react

Rasputin's lesser known romp with a much older czarina of russia

Woman's soul leaves body

Jesus and co. are worried after another woman gets pregnant without having sex

bisexual looks at photos of celebrity couples

When you go to the party to socialize with new people but your weirdo friend group starts getting clingy

Jesus cumming

one of those weird church christmas pageants but everybody's drunk

What have I done

Hozier??????????

Jesus assfucks some purple lady being hugged.

This time, the chick IS the magnet

An affair/threesome gone awry (2019 colorized)

What do you mean they canceled GLOW?

“I TOLD you it was cashmere!”

Are you wearing the - - The Gucci dress? Yes I am.

It's not what it looks like!

jesus is fucking that one cheerleader who grew up to be a suburban mom with one (1) super cool dress she stole from her kid who is desperately hugging her middle begging for it back because the spring fling is coming up and jason might actually make eye contact with her for more than three seconds.

jesus and mary magdaline and some other bitch

I’m at a bar and these drunk girls are flirting with me, do I lOOK GAY?!

Shrek 5, jesus's return

c. 2025 First attempt of an Officer and his Wife with a Handmaiden (colourized)

just about all of these are close lol

originally taken from: the Bolshoi Theater’s 1993 staging of Pyotr Ilyich Tchaikovsky’s The Maid of Orléans, featuring Nina Rautio (left) as Joan of Arc and Vyacheslav Pochapsky (right) as Thibaut d’Arc

Responses:

Don’t look, I’m still pooping

yall, the audacity of this man. he fuckin talked to me

*i can't even tell you how wrong you are* *it would be insulting to ME*-- closest

Cospeto!

„No I’m not talking to you, you keep cracking bad jokes!“ - „But I got another!“

when you’re mad at him but he says he’ll buy you food if you cheer up

When I’m wallowing in self-pity but my friends won’t comfort me

right: wanna fuck ;) left: yeah, fuck OFF lmao

Her face is screaming “don’t tell me what to do”

Yeah I got nothing

gay man tries to hit on a lesbian bc he thinks she's a twink. she's not amused but she's watching this happen anyway

me tired of MET's bullshit and them organising a Netrebko, known blackface apologist, a recital during Black History Month. (sorry im still fucking salty lol)

"stop smiling at me like that I'm trying to pout over here"

"I got fleas, you got fleas... wanna fuck?"

I have the best idea!

Haha nooooo don’t hit me with that bat you’re so sexxyy

lesbian is bothered by dilf

Me trying to flirt

if call me by your name was hetero and set in america

how many more dad jokes can i take before i explode

So. You’ve gotten yourself in a little pickle again.

What if we fought in the Russian revolution together ✨???????... unless??

Two people flirt in a poor place of town/

"If you ask me what I've got under this dirty, shapeless tunic one more time I swear to god I will kick your rotting teeth in"

You look like ur gonna kill me but ok

Really? You again?

Okay, I’ve been sitting here for 20 minutes, do you think it’s safe to—oh god, he’s still there.

Have you seen Godot?

she is tired of everyone’s shit. she has done so many derivatives it physically pains her to see a variable. dont test her. ur icarus rn.

idk pick better pictures-- I HAVE DIED THE SHEER AUDACITY AND HUBRIS I LOVE THIS

200% done with your crap

Homeless man has fucking legs of steel n is gonna show off his Russian dance moves

originally taken from: the Théâtre de Capitole du Toulouse’s 2019 staging of Paul Dukas’ Ariane et Barbe-bleue, featuring Sophie Koch (right) as Ariane and I don’t remember who the person on the left is rip me

Responses:

The knight who wore this into battle sure was swaggy

dear god its hiddeous

Capitalism

Knight in shining armour gone even more wrong.

ghost contemplates the safety of spiky motorcycle helmet

„Stop! He feels bullied!“

'this is my newest take for jesus's crucifixion crown ...... what do you mean they already put him up'

That’s probably a really expensive magic helmet idk. IDK-- closest

Omg I love the adventure zone!

minesweeper (windows xp)

"Okay whatever you do don't touch the shiny spiky ball" "It's so shiny I wanna touch it"

Taking down the trash way too late

IT'S NOT A PHASE MOM

Darth Vader got stuck in the freezer.... again. Leia isn’t happy

Star Wars 2030

“And here is the very latest in motorcycle helmet trends” “Look, I only came to the mall for a pair of socks “

futuristic kkk

long-suffering jewelry store attendant really wants to retire

Put it down put it down put it down

“Hmm no you should see a doctor about that”

A weird ass crown is presented

The creation of sars-cov-2: an experimental Eurotrance nightclub art piece gone horribly wrong

How it feels to want something that u cant have

AND WE WILL CALL IT—SPIKE MAN actually do you think that’s too obvious?? Because of the—yeah, because of the spikes?? See, that’s what I’m worried about. I want it to be SCARY

I know it's risky but... lube me up

use the force luke.

that is a weird fleshlight

When you get an ugly gift and need to find a way to get rid of it, so your family member/friend offers to smash it

Touch the orb

originally taken from: the Opera Vlaanderen’s 2019 staging of Fromental Halévy’s La Juive, with Nicole Chevalier (left, with bottle) as Princess Eudoxie, Enea Scala (center, under table) as Prince Léopold, and Roy Cornelius Smith (right) as Éléazar

Responses:

When no one comes to your birthday party :(

fantastic, day 487 of mischief and they have yet to find my masterful hiding spot

i really wonder who he thinks he's playing footsie with

Marriage crisis. Reason sits under the table-- closest but not in the way you think (after all, the man under the table IS a tenor).

the last supper afterparty after jesus left

When you order the last supper on wish

espionage at the Politischer Rosenmontag

Probably the wrong opera but is that Leporello under the table

Now THIS is a Good Friday night

this was every birthday party i went to between the ages of 5 and 11

that awkward moment when you drop your fork under the table but when you re-emerge everyone else has left except one drunk lady and the guy trying to deal with her

After the last supper

Tfw you arrive to the dinner party too early and have to hide until a more fashionable hour

When the cishets aren’t home

waiter hides from customers

Nobody: My dog every time I’m eating:

what's left of the homies Jesus had dinner with

university chem lab experiment gone terribly wrong

I’ve been under the table FOR 30 MINUTES

Set your friends up by tossing them off under the table, they’ll think it’s each other n fall in luv

Someone hids under a table

"You're about to see an surreptitious-under-the-table-dick-sucking master at work"

5 yr old me trying to eat the desert under the table without my parents finding out be like:

They never invite me to their parties!

Just another girl’s night in

Oops! Didn’t notice you the table.

dionysus - bts (2019, colorized)

just a normal episode of eric andre (eric is the one under the table)

Just a normal day with the boys

Thievery

originally taken from: the Théâtre de Capitole du Toulouse’s 2017 staging of Giacomo Meyerbeer’s Le prophète, featuring Kate Aldrich (left, surrounded by women in white) as Fidès and John Osborn (center, looking like a Jesus doppelganger) as Jean de Leyde

Responses:

Hold up, is that Eggman above Jesus?

holy disco

Looks like Tannhäuser. Our lord and saviour Richard Wagner. Now I need to be saved from that.

catholicism

me defending pineapple on pizza (THANK YOU)

jesus but hes about to be abducted by the alien ufo above him

Emmmmmmm Heaven? Idk

Lord of the rings?

ewww christianity gross

"behold, I am Important"

"Seriously?? It's not ACTUALLY pyjama day? Fuck you guys!"

Jesus at the Disco

Jesus Finds The Molerat People Who Live Under Bethlehem

disco is heaven

Want to join my new religion?

the kkk

church christmas pageant where everyone's sober but it's based on the director's fever dream

Am I the only one who sees the giant demon? Just me? Okay...

“Oh god I think I’m starting my period”

A party is held with a priest in the middle

"Let's get this secret Vatican sex party rolling!"

The new avengers endgame set is looking great!!

You know, guys, I try not to be a bother but...I can’t help but feel like I missed a dress code memo for this wedding??? It’s cocktail, right??”

Jesus visits Hogwarts

I must really stink if no one will even come close to me

the extra ass funeral i DESERVE

star wars life day

A cult at it’s best-- closest

Shrek 5, Jesus is still there I guess

originally taken from: the Royal Opera House, Covent Garden’s 2013 staging of Giuseppe Verdi’s Les vêpres siciliennes, featuring Bryan Hymel (left, standing) as Henri, Lianna Haroutounian (center, kneeling in the black gown) as Duchess Hélène, and Erwin Schrott (kneeling to her right) as Jean Procida

Responses:

When the director’s like “great rehearsal guys, just a few notes before I let you go” but it’s already 9:13 and your mom’s waiting in the parking lot

loyalist of subjects

bow before your queen

They forgot to take down the stage boxes after the Vienna opera ball but the show must go on.

somebody forgot to book chairs for this funeral

Me sharing God’s (Hayley koyoko) word on the discord server

mass execution bc the oboe solo sucked ass-- closest

That’s too many black suits I can’t see shit

I can’t even tell what’s going on here

8th grade school assembly about how it's uncool to shit on the walls at school

let's all get fancy so we can go to the opera and sit on the stage (idk this one's hard lol)

"Yes i am a time traveller, now don't freak out"

Tfw you forget to pay your lighting bills

White guys make decisions that will benefit them and screw someone that’s not a white guy over-- OUCH but that is too real (although not really in context here)

dead man gives speech at his own funeral

brotus and the boys ??? last meeting before the stabbing

high society social function ends in mass murder-- right opera, wrong scene

Someone walks into the talent show stage with a dog

Black-dressed bitches worship a man.

Worst school assembly of all time

POV:You're the window in the classroom and someone said "its snowing"

When the conductor shows up fashionably late to the orchestra concert

That's what you get for choosing the cheapest ticket option, get back in the mud where you belong

theyre just trying to jump into a grave at a funeral leabe them alone this is normal

oh my god he really whipped his dick out in front of everyone, this is just like in 1776 guys, except some women are actually in the room this time,

A funeral, stop wearing so much black

I want to slap their bald heads like rice

originally taken from: the Teatro Real Madrid’s 2018 staging of Gaetano Donizetti’s Lucia di Lammermoor, featuring Roberto Tagliavini (right) as Raimondo

Responses:

Crowd “haha!! Looks like someone missed the all-black memo!! Now it’s laugh-in-your-face time! / Guy on the floor (whispering to guy against wall): go, save yourself! I’ll hold them off...”

if i leave now i wont be a witness and can tell the police i had no idea

it was the best of times, it was the worst of times

Guy in the back pretends to help but is to far away to even know what’s going on.

priest walks in on beginning of an orgy, contemplated joining but is too scared-

when someone brings up capitalism but you’re just trying to play minecraft

lol lets trample this guy while the judge isnt looking

Again. Too many black costumes

Loved this Dostoevsky novel

i would know if opera directors were more creative with clothing choices ngl

me on parties lol

"imma just sneak out of here while everyone else is distracted"

"Where did he get this flooring!? Amazing!"

Everyone act normal!

The tell tale heart but they got REALLY drunk

man tposes to ward off vampires after being caught undercover

boys ???? night

the priest really shouldn't have visited the insane asylum-- closest

He’s FINE everyone’s been hit by a car before

Something happens in a room.

Perks of being a wallflower

There's always that one person in the fight whos trying not to get involved when they really wanna

Oh good, they’re all posing for a Rembrandt painting, I can just sneeeeaaak out the back here...

The gamer livestreaming Resident Evil + everyone watching the stream ? waiting for him to open the door just knowing it will trigger a chase scene

Quick!

the guy t posing in the back is regretting his every decision.-- also accurate

the us senate jumps ted cruz, some other wack ass gop senator is trying to sneak away

...I spoke too soon, however this is a James Bond mission

Queers help fellow queer do math but it's a struggle

#opera #opera tag #results #screencaps #captions #caption #caption this #caption contest #this seems to have gone over well and I am Pleased

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billdenbrough · 4 years

Text

stan’s nineteen when he first thinks to himself that he might want to kiss a guy. it’s not the first time he kisses one (fifteen, richie tozier, all nervous energy and unwieldy glasses knocking against noses and a best friend who’s desperate to be Good at kissing and wants to practice on someone he trusts, someone who he knows would never use it against him, and stanley will be that for richie until the day he dies) but it’s the first time that he wants to for himself.

his name is mike hanlon, he’s best friends with stan’s dormmate eddie, and rooms with both richie and eddie’s other best friend, bill. he also talks about emily dickinson when he’s high, brings bev coffee to their social theory classes, and helped richie steal a goat when they were both drunk and neither of them died. stan looks at his fingers—calloused and thick and strong, steadily drumming against his thigh as he thinks, nails uneven from being bitten—and imagines what they’d look like twined with his.

stan’s twenty when he thinks to himself he might want to kiss patty blum. she’s sweet, a little shy, and the way her eyes light up when she talks about translated poetry makes stan want to reach out and tuck her hair behind her ear. so he does. and she blushes, and it’s the prettiest thing he’s ever seen.

he doesn’t ask for her number that night, but she and richie turn out to be in the same poetry class (about the beats; they disagree on the work—richie is fascinated by the techniques and phraseologies they invent, patty is a bit too aware of what misogyny sounds like in the mouths of men convinced of their own aptitude to ignore it—but agree that while the beats kinda went Off in anti-war sentiment, they were by and large Awful People) and stan sees her again in a coffee shop with richie after class one day. this time, after speaking for another six hours, stan does ask for her number. she bites her lip, glances down, smiles. holds her hand out for his phone. stan looks at her fingers as they skitter across his screen, tapping in her number—they’re soft and rounded, moving quickly and precisely, lavender nail polish chipped. he doesn’t have to imagine what her fingers would look like intertwined with his. he finds out three nights later.

bill and richie throw a party in their dorm (it’s mike’s dorm too, but best as stan can tell, he mostly just let them do it in trade off for not having to clean it up the next day. somehow, stan thinks he’ll still end up helping clean. bill and richie are many excellent things, but competent with cleanliness is not one of them) and stan invites patty. he feels warm watching richie light up when he spots them, barrelling over and completely ignoring stan to spin patty in a delighted hug. he can’t help his grin when eddie and ben pop up, polite and welcoming and engaging. what he’s not prepared for, however, is the feeling that blossoms in his chest when patty and mike start talking. mike’s an english major, and possibly the best person in the world, and patty’s also an english major, and also possibly the best person in the world, so stan’s not surprised they get along. he’s just startled at how much it feels like having the wind knocked out of him. how breathless he feels.

he and patty aren’t dating, exactly. or, they are, but it’s early days. stan thinks she makes everything better, though. like the world is brighter with her laughter in it. so it’s not doing anything wrong to feel his heartbeat quicken sometimes when he feels mike’s eyes on his, to have a rare slow smile spread across his face when it’s two am and mike is talking sleepily to him, but it’s not exactly ideal, either. and stan’s not entirely sure what to do. he likes to think he’s well-equipped for life—an entire childhood with richie tozier will do that to you—but nothing has prepared him for this.

to make matters worse—or maybe better? stan’s never sure whether that tightness in his chest is panic or want or something in between—mike and patty keep hanging out. sometimes with stan, sometimes with richie or bev, but sometimes just by themselves. which obviously is fine. it’s just another thing for stan to have to try contend with.

he and mike kiss at a party, and it’s just a game, just truth or dare, and patty’s not playing—she’s sitting in the kitchen with eddie, the two of them carefully guarding their cups from the hot sauce richie is pouring into unsuspecting party-goers’ drinks, trading quiet observations and making each other giggle—but she doesn’t care that stan is, so that’s not what’s weighing on his mind, exactly. it’s the way his stomach swooped. the way his chest warmed. the way all he could think of was what it would be like to do that again, just for themselves, fingers entwined.

he stumbles away, and he probably looks drunk, but he’s not. he’s simply dealing with feelings that don’t make sense with the world he’s built for himself. so. like he always does when he’s not sure what to do, he finds richie.

richie has stopped pouring hot sauce into people’s drinks by now—why he was doing that, stan has no idea—so stan tugs him by the sleeve into a spare bedroom. “kinky,” richie starts, laughing, before catching sight of stan’s expression, and sobering up immediately. “all right,” he says, “lay it on me”

it all sort of tumbles out, mostly a mess of frustrated gesturing and alternating between heart eyes when talking about mike and patty & his voice cracking when he tries to explain the confusion. richie listens, brow furrowed, eyes intent. whatever anyone says about richie—and stan might say it himself, but there’s nobody he wouldn’t fight for richie, nobody he wouldn’t defend his best friend from—he cares, listens, tries.

“so you don’t like either of them better than the other...” richie muses, and stan hadn’t really thought of it in those terms, but that’s it, that’s true, that’s the crux of it. he could make a pros & cons list for both if he tried, but there’d be no point: the only thing on either con list would be the way he feels about the other. “have you considered that you like both?” richie asks, and stan. blinks

“that’s the problem, rich,” he says, and richie gives him a Look. “i mean,” richie says. “is it?” and stan doesn’t exactly know what to do with that. which richie clearly can tell, because he barrels on, “look, i’m just saying... you’re allowed to like both. especially if both like you. and... i know you better than either of them, but like, maybe they like each other too?” and it’s just. a lot. for stan to try unravel, but he thinks richie’s saying... it might not be either/or, and feeling like someone’s missing for the rest of his days. he thinks richie’s saying it could be and.

“like... a trio?” stan ventures, and richie clicks his tongue. “call it whatever the fuck you want, my dude. polyamory. ménage a trois. personally, i fuck with throuple.” (stan, in some part of his mind that is not currently trying to process everything else richie is making him aware of right now, decides immediately that he will never say throuple.)

they sit and talk for another ten minutes, and then bev pops up to say bill’s challenging richie to karaoke, and stan sends him off. he stays, sitting, thinking. dreaming. imagining what it would be like, patty’s hand in one of his, mike’s in the other. their other hands entwined too. his chest hurts. he thinks maybe it’s from sheer wanting.

patty finds him not that long after. she sits beside him, cocks a quizzical brow, half smile playing at her lips. “you disappeared,” she notes. stan looks at her, in her knit cardigan and pleated skirt at a house party, and thinks maybe he’s in love with her. it makes the next words both utterly terrifying and as easy as breathing. “do you like mike?” he asks. patty blinks at him, mouth dropping open slightly. “i like you,” she says after a moment, sounding confused, but also... maybe slightly panicked. or guilty? stan doesn’t know how to decipher that note, but it bolsters him. “i know,” he says softly, and it’s true. he does. he cares a lot about her, and he knows she cares about him, otherwise he’d never try ask her this. “i meant... as well.” he can’t believe he’s saying this. the power of richie tozier.

she just blinks at him, something complicated passing across her face. “do... you?” she asks, so hesitant that stan feels it scrape slowly across his heart, just like mike’s teeth did across his lips earlier, and, wow, he didn’t need that reminder. “i—” he starts, and she suddenly holds up her hand. “i think maybe mike should be here,” she says, and stan is freaking out a little, but she’s right, so he nods, and she just pulls out her phone and... does she have him on speed dial? who even uses speed dial?

mike comes up, glances in and steps into the room, looking shy and a little confused. “hey,” he says, “patty said you need to talk to me? what’s up?” stan’s heart is beating faster, but something about it feels. solid. steady, even. like all ground was invented simply to exist between the three of them, a meeting of the hearts and minds.

“stanley asked me an interesting question,” patty says at the same time that stan blurts out, “i think a lot about your hands.” mike blinks, patty throws stan a scandalised look before bursting into peals of laughter, and stan groans at himself. “i don’t know if i understand what’s happening here,” mike says. polyamory negotiations, stan thinks, but he’s not saying that out loud until at least three years after this is all dealt with.

“i’ve been having a crisis up here for two hours,” he says in the end, deciding to bite the bullet. if richie ever calls him a pussy again when stan’s had this conversation and richie can’t even ask out eddie despite having made a very embarrassing and frankly bizarre playlist about him, stan’s pushing him into a fountain. “because i keep thinking about you kissing me, but also patty kissing me, and also both of your hands, and it’s just a lot, and richie kept saying words, some of which i truly believe he made up, like what the fuck is a throuple—” and, hm. he did not mean for all of that to come out. eddie’s the motormouth and richie’s the trashmouth. stan’s mouth is meant to obey him. outrageous.

mike’s open-mouthed, and then he turns to stare at patty, who stares back at him. stan can’t decide if this is more or less nerve-wracking than them staring at him. but then their eyes are shifting. it looks like there’s a question in mike’s. stan wonders if he can find an answer in patty’s, the way stan always does. from the way mike’s eyes shine when he turns back to stan, he thinks yes. there’s an expression on his face, open and hopeful and earnest, and it’s so fucking beautiful that stan just... wants to kiss him again. and he’s resisted doing it for so long. literally over a year. and it’s hard, so hard, especially when mike looks like that, when he looks at stan like that, and stan’s tired. so this time, he doesn’t resist. he leans forward, and presses his lips to mike’s.

when he pulls away, mike’s smile is blinding. so is patty’s, for that matter. stan blinks at her, unsure if he should apologise, when she leans forward and kisses him. then, with a flush high in her cheeks, she glances at mike, and gently presses a kiss to the side of his mouth as well. it twists in stan’s chest, and this time he knows it for what it is: explosive, unrestrained happiness and want. like maybe this is what it feels like to see the rest of your life in front of you. to see everything you never even knew you wanted.

stan doesn’t have to imagine what it would be like to entwine his fingers with mike’s anymore, what it would be like to have patty hand-in-hand on his other side. it’s better than he’d ever dreamed, anyway.

#mike hanlon #stan uris #stanley uris #patty blum #patricia blum #stanpatlon #stanlonpat #what’s my fucking tag #x #m #jane writes sometimes #i guess?? idk y’all i’m just in my mike and patty feelings tonight. ig this counts as writing #stan #patty #mike #murryn i hope u see this idk if this is up ur alley but i started thinking abt it bc of our convo on the other post replies #long post //#i’m mobile so idk how long it is but i. assume it’s not short. bc like. me #is the implication here that this exists in the same verse as songs for the art of beating the meat? perhaps

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borathae · 5 years

Text

A Day at the Zoo | Poly!BTS |

“Since the weather has become nice again, you and your boyfriends decide to get out of your house for a change. But where to? The answer: the local zoo none of you had been to yet.”

Pairing: OT7 x n.Reader

Genre: Fluff, Polyamory!AU

Wordcount: 2.2k

a/n: This took me a long time to finally finish it but with Cherry Blossom Trees and Shutter Sounds having to be published I had no time to work on it up until now! Anyways I hope you guys enjoy it! 💜

This year's winter had been particularly harsh with temperatures going far below zero, so low that if one wasn’t careful enough with reading them correctly they would have believed they were in the middle of a hot summer's day. Thankfully the days became warmer come March but with it the micro dust came, making breathing outside close to impossible. And then the spring rains came, washing away the fine dust in the air and clearing up the sky.

Spring was finally here and you and your boyfriends couldn’t be happier about it. Your dates lately had become rather boring, alternating between movie nights or board game nights with the occasional fancy dinner thrown into the mix. Of course there had been also some date highlights, one can’t forget about your trip to a local ice rink in late December or that one time you decided to take a day trip to Jeju Island in early March which ended in all of you coming down with food poisoning from eating expired sushi, safe for Seokjin, who had found the restaurant ‘sketchy’ from the beginning (it had been a hell of a week for him following that trip, having to clean up after seven severly sick grown-ups).

But in the end, your dates had become rather dull for everyone involved and all of you couldn’t be more happy when the weather forecast for this Saturday promised warm sunshine and clean spring air.

So two days later, and after a very long discussion where exactly your long-awaited outdoor-date will take you, the eight of you are standing in the middle of the local zoo, a big grin on each of your faces.

Jimin has pulled you close to him, his arm wrapped around you protectively and his fingertips softly caressing your arm. You are currently watching a flock of pink flamingos getting fed. Their feathers resemble the current hair color of your boyfriend, a soft cotton pink which glows in the bright sunlight.

You look up from where you had been watching a baby flamingo try to get food into its mouth when an amused giggle suddenly rings through the quiet air.

Namjoon has found his way to your side, his dark sunglasses and grey facemask nearly covering all of his face.

"Did you guys know that the reason flamingos have such pink feathers is because of all the red crabs they are eating? The crabs contain a special pigment called Beta Carotene which makes the flamingos feathers turn pink", he says looking at the both of you.

Jimin gasps, his eyes big and his pink lips falling wide open.

"Wow I didn't know that, you are so clever Joonie", you gasp.

Namjoon smiles at your compliment, you can see it at the way his mask bulges up on his cheeks.

"It's nothing special. I just read it somewhere online", he mumbles shyly, scratching the back of his neck.

"I think it's fascinating", you assure him, reaching out and intertwining your fingers with his.

"Well, then I am happy to tell you another fact. The plastic lawn flamingo was invented by the artist Don Featherstone in 1957 and it took him around two weeks to finalise his design", he finishes his statement with a proud nod of his head.

You smile, finding his habit of babbling about the most random facts ever adorable. You really love it, especially because it gives him that childlike glow on his cheeks. But before you can lean over and press a loving kiss to his face you are interrupted by Seokjin suddenly resting his chin on your shoulder.

"Guys come on let's go somewhere other than these boring birds", he whines with pouted lips.

"They aren't boring", Jimin retorts, sending Seokjin an annoyed look.

Seokjin shrugs his shoulders, snaking his arm around your waist and giving you a gentle squeeze.

"After having to stare at them for more than ten minutes they are getting pretty boring. I want to see other animals too, dangerous ones."

"Dangerous ones?" you ask, raising your eyebrow in question.

Seokjin straightens himself up before he nods, smiling brightly. It makes his cheeks puff out, a soft blush rising on his skin adding to the overall cute appearance of him.

"Yeah I want to see snakes or spiders or even better wolfs", he babbles excitedly.

"Why not pot-bellied pigs hyung? Don't you miss your relatives?" Jungkook throws in, breaking into wholehearted laughter the minute the joke left his mouth.

Seokjin gasps in shock, his eyes becoming three times their size.

"You dare to call me a pig? Me? Now listen here Jeon Jungkook, this was too much. You will come back here and pay for your actions", he nearly stumbles over his words from how fast they leave his lips before he finally gets into full sprint running after a fleeing and cackling Jungkook.

The rest of you follow after them, all of you either laughing at Jungkooks joke or at the funny imagine of two grown man chasing after each other like two little children. Everyone safe for Taehyung, who had already wandered of again to snap some pictures of a cute little monkey he had spotted right next to an acacia.

"Kids these days", Yoongi mumbles and despite his judging tone he has a fond smile on his lips.

"Just wait until one of them trips and seriously hurts himself", Hoseok says with actual worry in his voice.

"They can handle themselves don't worry. Just let them power themselves out for a little more, so naptime will be extra quiet later", you joke, cracking up Jimin.

He laughs loudly, clutching onto your arm and burying his face in your hair. He really looks adorable like, his cute behavior enough to send a fond smile to your faces.

"You are so funny guys", he stutters out between laughs, rubbing at his eyes to dry his tears.

Soon both Jungkook and Seokjin return to your sides, they are both panting and whilst Jungkook has a shit eating grin on his face, a big pout had formed on Seokjins.

"You good again?" Yoongi asks, smirking amused.

"We're good. We stumbled upon some cute meerkats and made up in honor of them. Right hyung?"

Seokjin hums, nodding his head.

"They were really cute. They had their hands like this", he says, raising his arms to his chest and letting his hand tangle down, "and then they had this cute look on them", he continues, opening his eyes as wide as possible.

He looked adorable right now in his oversized sweater that goes over his hands and his big eyes staring at you, and you can't help but reach out to cup his cheek.

"Cute", you giggle, caressing his skin.

Seokjin lowers his eyes, his ears turning bright red. He turns away from you so his back is turned to the rest of you. You know he is too shy to show the rest of you how much your compliment had affected him. But before you can tease him any further Taehyung returns to your side, calling the attention of all of you.

“Guys listen, guys oh my god!” he already screams from far away whilst running to you. He has a big boxy smile on his face and his big metal-framed glasses have slipped down the bridge of his nose, now sitting on the tip of his pretty nose.

“Why are you looking at us like you just saw god or something?” Hoseok asks when Taehyung has arrived at your side.

“Because I honestly think I just met some sort of forest god. Listen-”, he pauses to breath heavily, “-I was taking some pictures right back there at the big acacia when suddenly and now listen carefully a monkey visited me”, he pauses to breath again.

“We know, you literally told us that you want to try to take a pic of the monkey”, Namjoon says, shrugging his shoulders.

Taehyung dismisses him with a wave of his hand, shaking his head.

“I know I did but listen. I tried to talk with the monkey and at first I thought it doesn’t understand me, but then I asked it if it could pose for me underneath that purple flower I spotted and-”, he giggles excitedly, “-and he actually went to the flower and sat next to it!”

His whole face is glowing with excitement, his arms wailing around from the grand gestures he uses.

Yoongi chuckles, so do you and Jungkook, the three of you watching your boyfriend wiggle his shoulders happily in front of you.

“This sounds like a nice adventure”, Jimin states, reaching out to take Taehyungs hand into his’.

“It was magical. I am convinced that this was some old forest god that just wanted me to take a nice picture of him. I have to return to him once I developed it and hand it to him. I am sure he will be happy about my present”, Taehyung babbles on.

“Sure precious do that, I’m sure you will make his day”, you chuckle, reaching over to ruffle Taehyungs blonde hair.

Suddenly both Seokjin and Yoongi gasp loudly, startling the rest of you. Your heads snap around to search for the source of their obvious change in mood, expecting to find a group of fans storming to you. Expect you can’t spot anyone and you look to your boyfriends in question.

“Yoongi-ah are you seeing what I am seeing?” Seokjin asks with a big grin.

“Sure as hell I do”, Yoongi says before storming off with Seokjin following close by.

You look around to find answers in your other boyfriends faces, only to find confusion in all of them.

“Either they just spotted a vending machine that sells beer or they officially have lost their minds”, Hoseok mumbles with his eyes fixated on Seokjin and Yoongi, who are both now standing in front of something you can’t quite make out.

Soon however your questions get answered when a deep pit appears in front of you. A high metal fence with a metal net taut over it pierces into the blue sky and judging by the faint regular clicking sounds electricity runs through it. You step closer to the enclosure, holding your breath in excitement before releasing it in a loud "woow". Three big wolfs are lying next to a small pond, watching you with lazy eyes. Their fur is as black as the night and their half-lidded eyes glisten in bright orange colours. They looked majestic.

“They are huge, I bet they could swallow you whole Yoongi-ah”, Seokjin says, nudging his elbow teasingly into Yoongis side.

Yoongi sends Seokjin a quick annoyed glance before he scoffs.

“You aren’t that tall either hyung”, he mumbles with a pout on his cute lips.

Not wanting the two of them to fight you step right in between them and intertwine your fingers with theirs.

"Are you happy now that you found your dangerous animals sweetheart?” you say, looking at Seokjin to your right.

He nods before turning his face to you and leaning closer to press a loving kiss to your cheek.

“They are so cool. I mean just look at them”, overfilled with joy he wraps his arm around you and pulls you close before littering your whole face with kisses.

You giggle, closing your eyes. It feels nice being kissed by him like that. Especially in public as he isn't the type of guy who normally likes to show his affection like that. However worries about getting caught still manages to gnaw at you.

“What if someone sees us sweetheart?” you manage to get out between his kisses, gently pushing at his chest to get him to stop.

“I don’t care. I just want to show you how much I love you”, he mumbles against your skin, making you blush.

“I love you too Jinnie”, you raise your head to look at all of your boyfriends who have gathered around you, “I love all of you”, you add, looking into each of their beautiful eyes.

“We love you too”, Jungkook says, smiling fondly at you.

He steps closer before hugging you from behind, swaying both of you from side to side.

"Today is amazing I love hanging out with you and seeing all these cute animals", he sighs before closing his eyes to really savour the moment.

"I love it too", you breathe, caressing the skin of his forearm.

"As much as I love watching you guys cuddle I would really like to get to the giraffes feeding in time. I read that they always pick out two people who can feed the baby giraffes and I really want to be that person", Hoseok throws in, pointing into the direction of the giraffes enclosure.

The rest of you can't help but crack up at the randomness of his request, making Hoseok pout his lips out at you.

"Sure sunshine let's go", you say once you have calmed down enough to be able to talk again.

You take his hand into yours, intertwining your other hand with Namjoons, before starting to walk to your next destination.

Today was a nice day, perfect even. The weather was nice, the sun was warm and most importantly you were spending time with the loves of your life.

#ot7 x reader #bts x you #bts x reader #poly!bts #bts scenario #bts fluff #bts fanfic #bts fanfiction

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poemsforpersephone · 4 years

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REVIEW FOR THE HANGED MAN BY K.D. EDWARDS

I received an arc of this book in exchange for an honest review (but i also have it pre-ordered like, twice, so you can really honestly believe me when i tell you i love this freaking book).

PSA: if you haven’t read The Last Sun yet, don’t read this because there are minor spoilers kind of for the first book. There are also minor spoilers for The Hanged Man too.

Once every so often there comes a moment when something enters your life and takes you on a path you never could have imagined. One day in January last year I listened to The Last Sun on a whim, because it looked cool, it had good reviews and a talented narrator. I had no way of knowing that a year later i'd be taking part in a street team quest dedicated to promoting it. I didn't know all the cool people I'd meet, all the art we'd produce as a team, as a fandom on the whole. I've been in a lot of fandoms in my life, and created a lot of content, but i have never been as enthralled and caught by a book series as i have this one. I won't talk more about the street team, as tempting as it is, but if you want to learn more check out KD's twitter, it's full of great things!

On with the show.

The Hanged Man is a revelation. There is so much world building going on, so much detail added to an already detail rich world, that I know i'm going to have to read it a few times (which, hey, works out! I will have like four copies by the end of this haha). The additional information we got about the sun court, about the companion bond, about the other Arcanas... I can't even put into words. There are things that happen in this book that I kind of assumed would happen but like, four books down the line, and they were done so well too, so smoothly that even though I didn't expect them, I didn't question them, but i'm not going to spoil anything within this review because this book is a book you have to experience yourself. Trust me.

The action and fight scenes are some of the most well written, fast paced, heart pounding action scenes I’ve ever read. Ever time a fight came up or a chase occurred I was absolutely glued to the page. This was present in The Last Sun as well and it’s one of my favourite aspects of the series as a whole. As with The Last Sun though, despite the action scenes trying to steal the show, it’s the relationships and the characters in The Hanged Man that are a major driving force and the central reason as to why it shines so brightly.

Rune and Brand will always have a major share holder place in my heart, but there is an entire cast now vying for positions. Quinn and Max continue to be so freaking adorable and brave and smart that I could cry. Quinn's character arc in this book especially is so so good? Addam is just?? Such a pure soul? Such a kind person? I cannot get over how he's a real character that we get to enjoy and treasure. Lord Tower is. Well. You guys know how he is but he has some moments in this book that made me a lot less suspicious of him and a lot MORE suspicious of him at the same time. He is a conundrum but i love him. Mayan got more of a role too, and I loved every part of it! Queenie is still in the background a little and I'm convinced she has secrets!!!! If she does, I can't wait to see what they are. I loved Lady Death!! I hope she's sticking around she is super cool and almost exactly what I was hoping her to be.

Also, the introduction of Anna, Corbie and Layne was so well done! I won't say much here for fear of spoilers bc there are some BIG ones but I can't wait to see how things in that area progress.

But talking of Rune and Brand... oh my god. I will never get over their bond. Never. It's impossible. They're?? Everything?? There were moments in this book when they made me laugh and moments when they made me cry and moments where I wanted to scream. I still ship it to high heavens. Friends to lovers trope is like, the best invention ever, and I'm holding out for some lovely polyamory because i've long believed that the best way to end a love triangle is to involve everyone! More people more fun amiright??? (can u tell its 1:15am dear lord) but whether or not anything will come of that only time will tell. Either way, romantic or platonic, nothing will rival their love for each other and that is the foundation of this series. The most solid, well built foundation ever.

Rune is just. So powerful. And so wonderful. His progression through two books alone is awe inspiring, i can't even think about where we're going to be another three or four books down the line. I love how powerful and confident he is, I love that he knows his strength, that he knows when to play certain trump cards. KD knows how to do character development, he's shown this time and time again, and oh my god I cannot wait to see what Rune becomes.

So, where do we stand. Sometimes you read a book and you don't worry about the characters because you know they'll be fine, but i am constantly worrying about everyone, because the writing feels like it's real, like you're living it, like you're watching people you care about face off against such high odds. I have my theories about where aspects of this series will go but I also very much doubt whether any of them are correct, because KD is playing the long game and I am but a lowly sleep deprived reader, but i am so so excited to go on this journey. I can't wait to see where it takes us. I could prattle on for another five hundred paragraphs about how much i loved this book, but i think i've said all that needed saying, so i'll leave it at this. Read this book, folks, you won't regret it.

#book review #the hanged man #scionsofatlantis

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may-odaigahara · 5 years

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if you love me won’t you say something?

So, uh, as promised, here’s the first chapter SuperReignCorp fic that I promised. It’s also up on AO3 for your perusal! If you could leave a comment/kudos over there, I’d really, really appreciate it.

----

Kara surprises even herself as she and Sam flirt relentlessly, much to the chagrin of Lena. Will the three women be able to navigate their increasingly complicated relationships, and will any of them ever just look up what "polyamory" is? Will they all be able to find their happy ending?

----

Over a year from now...

“Hey, darling,” Sam greets Kara with a quick kiss on the cheek. “Is Lena home yet?”

Kara sighs fondly, shaking her head. “You know she isn’t. Apparently, she has to supervise the situation in the lab personally. Let me take your bag.”

Sam hands her gym bag off to Kara, who hoists it up onto her shoulder as they slowly make their way to their bedroom.

“Oh, I know what that means,” Sam says. “That’s code for ‘I really want to play with the new compounds the R&D team just invented.’”

Kara laughs. “Yeah, that sounds about right. Is Ruby off at her friend’s house?”

“Yup, they’re really powering through that group project. She’s sleeping over there, too.”

“That’s a choice. A true test of friendship.”

“More importantly, that means we have all night to think about having sex while we’re actually all falling asleep instead.”

Kara grins at that and playfully smacks Sam’s butt. “Well, I’m feeling pretty awake right now. Do you think Lena will be mad if we start without her?”

“Furious. She called me into her office today to talk about some of our potential acquisitions and she stared at my legs nearly the entire time. She’s debilitatingly horny.”

“Well, you are wearing that.” Kara deliberately takes a moment to let her gaze travel up Sam’s long, long legs, perfectly on display thanks to the pencil skirt she’s wearing.

“I am, which reminds me, I desperately want to change. My pair of comfy yoga pants is screaming out my name.”

“Certainly a good choice to stop me from staring at my legs.”

“Whoever said I want you to stop?”

Sam flashes Kara a smile from over her shoulder as she walks into their bedroom. Kara bites her lips, openly admiring the sway of her girlfriend’s hips and the swell of her ass.

“You want some help changing?” Kara calls after her.

“Debilitatingly horny, Kara!” Sam responds back, from the other side of their bedroom door.

Once she’s changed into appropriate loungewear, and after Kara is finished checking her out, they head into the kitchen. Kara pours them both glasses of wine (stemless, naturally, she’s caused enough accidents already), while Sam whips up a quick cheese plate to stave off Kara’s legendary appetite until Lena gets there. They cozy up on the couch, the TV playing in the background, as they talk about their day and steal kisses and pecks and endlessly flirt. Much like with Lena, Kara just feels so free with Sam, free to express her love and her sexuality and every little feeling she has in her heart.

At one point, though, Kara just can’t take it anymore and bunches the front of Sam’s shirt up in her hand and pulls her close, kissing her deeply and passionately. Sam sighs into the kiss, gently looping her arms around Kara’s neck and drawing her in even closer. Kara never wants to leave this moment, hoping for the golden light of the setting sun to turn into amber to preserve them forever.

“Wow, you two did start without me.”

They both look up without a hint of guilt about them as they see Lena walk into the living room, a playfully stern expression on her face.

“We both still have our clothes on,” Sam says. “For us, that’s pretty good.”

“Kara, your hand is still on her boob,” Lena says.

Kara looks down to see that is, in fact, the case. Very pointedly, she leaves it there, which makes Sam laugh. “I see nothing wrong with this.”

“You two are hopeless. Let me change out of these awful work clothes and then we can order some dinner.”

“Do you want any help?” Kara and Sam both ask, at nearly the same time.

“No!”

Once they hear the bedroom door shut, they look at one another for a moment. And then they start making out again. Lena walks out just as Sam sticks her tongue in Kara’s mouth, prompting an exceptionally loud moan.

“Guys.”

Kara and Sam once again both look up at her.

“She started it,” Kara says.

“No way, you definitely started it. If you weren’t so impossibly attractive I wouldn’t be so interested in kissing you.”

“Guys, please,” Lena says. “Can we order some food? I’m starving.”

“That does sound great. All Sam gave me to eat was cheese,” Kara says.

“And fancy multigrain crackers, I’m not a monster.”

“Yeah, but that won’t come close to sating my hunger. Can we get some Vietnamese food? I want at least three banh mi.”

“Lovely. Any objections from the peanut gallery?” Lena asks, looking pointedly at Sam.

“So rude of you, my love,” Sam says. “I’m fine with that, as long as we order something with vegetables in it.”

“There are plenty of vegetables in banh mi!”

“Kara, c’mon,” Sam says.

“Great,” Lena says. “Being the adult in the room, I’ll order.”

“Need I remind you that you’re the baby in the group?” Sam asks.

“Be nice to the person getting you dinner,” Lena smiles sweetly.

Sam stands up and wraps Lena in a tight hug. “You’re my favorite. Don’t tell Kara.”

Kara also joins in on the hug, squishing her two girlfriends as much as she can. “Don’t worry, you’re Kara’s favorite, too.”

“You’re too much,” Lena says, feigning protest, but the blush on her cheeks and her delighted smile say otherwise.

“We got her,” Kara says, looking past Lena to Sam. “She’s blushing.”

“Mission accomplished,” Sam says. “Also, can we use our L-Corp connections to make our food arrive faster? I’m really starving, too.”

“I already put the order in, so you’re just going to have to wait like a normal person, Arias,” Lena says.

Thankfully, their food doesn’t take long to arrive, though Kara does tear through an entire bag of beef jerky in the meantime. They sit down at the dining room table, the last vestiges of sunlight filtering in through the floor-to-ceiling windows and setting the clean, modern architecture of their shared penthouse alight in deep oranges and reds.

“Hey, can I be sappy for a moment?” Sam asks.

“Honey, I think you know my stance on sappiness pretty well by now,” Kara says, smiling.

Sam ducks her head, a pleased smile on her face, as Lena reaches out and squeezes her upper arm.

“I guess I do. I just wanted to say that I’m so happy that we all found one another and that we figured this whole thing out. Just a year ago I never would’ve imagined that I’d be entering a relationship with two incredible women, and look at us now.”

Kara threads her fingers through Sam’s and gives her hand a quick squeeze. Sam smiles gratefully at her.

“It just blows my mind,” Sam continues. “There were moments where I thought that I – I wouldn’t be enough for Ruby, but now I know I have you two to support me. It’s just incredible.”

“We’re here for you, Sam,” Lena says. “We’ll always be by your side, and Ruby’s.”

“Yeah, that little munchkin has really wormed her way into our hearts. We’re sticking with you, through thick and thin.”

“Thanks so much, guys,” Sam says. “I love you both very much.”

“We love you too, Sam,” Kara says.

“Absolutely we do,” Lena says.

Sam lets all of this love and affection wash over her for a moment, suffusing her with such a warmth and joy that she feels ready to burst. A sort of giddiness comes over her that reminds her of how it felt once they really started to figure everything out.

“Hey, on a lighter note, do you guys remember all of the drama we had to go through to get to this point?” Sam asks. “What a mess that was.”

“That was quite an experience,” Lena says. “I can’t believe you got together with Kara before me. Me! The person who’s had a crush on her since day one!”

“You had a crush on me since day one, too,” Sam says, grinning. “Though I could never tell. I honestly wasn’t sure if you liked me half of the time.”

Kara can’t help but laugh and Lena just pouts. “Mean.”

“I’m sorry, baby,” Sam says. “You just like to play things a little too close to the chest.”

Lena sighs dramatically. “Well, I’m glad you figured it out eventually.”

“We certainly did,” Kara says.

Present day

Lena introduces Kara to Sam, and it's all over from there.

Kara finds Sam to be, simply put, quite fascinating in her multitudes. She’s a caring, loving mother, a tough-as-nails, no-nonsense CFO (she’s heard people around L-Corp call her the “sweetest shark you’ll ever meet”), and clearly a good friend of Lena’s. And, on top of that, if Kara’s being totally honest with herself, Sam is gorgeous, too. She feels like she can appreciate Sam’s beauty in a sort of objective sense, like she could with Lucy.

All of this means that, of course, Kara desperately wants to become friends with her. She doesn’t want to just become acquaintances or have them learn to tolerate one another for Lena’s sake, she wants them to be real, honest-to-god friends. As always, Kara can’t think of any better way to start a friendship than to share a meal. Which is why she finds herself leaning against the doorway to Sam’s office, a list of nearby restaurants open on her phone.

“Kara,” Sam greets, smiling, though it doesn’t quite meet her eyes – a business smile, exactly what Kara wants to grow beyond. “To what do I owe the pleasure?”

“Your assistant – great dude, by the way – tells me that you conveniently have a whole hour free right at noon. Want to grab lunch?”

“This is off the record, right? I just had a reporter sniffing around the offices and he was a pain to deal with.”

“Completely off the record, we’re just getting lunch together as friends. Though if you want me to write a scathing article about that annoying reporter, I’d be happy to.”

Sam laughs, and Kara counts that as a win.

“You know what? Let’s do it,” Sam says, standing up. “Unlike Lena, you’ll find that I actually enjoy leaving the office every now and again.”

“That’s good to hear. I had to convince Lena not to convert that one conference room by her office into a bedroom.”

Sam just shakes her head. “I love Lena, but she can be crazy sometimes. That’s like in college when I had to stop her from bringing a sleeping bag down to the engineering labs. So, where are we going, Danvers?”

Sam grabs a baseball cap from the coat hooks on the door to her office and jams it onto her head, its casual flair clashing pleasantly with her sharp business clothing. Kara is struck by just how pretty Sam is for a moment, and it takes her a moment to find her voice again.

“Oh, right, sorry,” Kara says, as they slowly make their way to the elevator. “I have a couple of options. There’s a good vegan restaurant pretty close by, if you’re as dedicated to salad as Lena is, a really fun Uzbeki place literally a block away, and if you really don’t care about that blazer that I can only assume costs as more than my entire outfit, there’s an incredible barbecue place that just opened up in the building over.”

“I’m a risk-taker, Kara,” Sam says. “Let’s go with barbecue.”

Kara beams at her. She likes her already.

“You’re eating all of that for lunch?” Sam asks.

Kara looks down at her plate of food, which is piled high with brisket and accompanied by a side of cornbread and baked beans.

“Yeah, let’s say I’m bulking?” Kara answers.

“Is that a question?”

“I just really like food,” Kara says, somewhat bashfully.

Sam just shrugs. “Respect. You must work out a lot.”

“Yeah, I do. I did, like, all of the sports in college, so I’ve at least kept up with staying in shape. It’s fun, and if I have a really hard day at work, I can just go to town on a punching bag.”

Sam raises an eyebrow at that. “No kidding? I know we just met, but I have to say, it’s hard imagining you taking your frustrations out like that.”

“It really works! It’s very cathartic. And, look, I know I have the whole ‘Sunny’ Danvers reputation, but I get pissed off, too. Especially working with Snapper Carr as my boss, goodness.”

“Yeah, I think I know how you feel. I’ve spoken to that man once. Once.”

“I take it that didn’t go well?”

“Let’s just say that he knows who’s signing off on his paychecks.”

Sam says this with such imperiousness that it only makes it funnier when she, moments later, bites into her pulled-pork sandwich and sauce dribbles down her chin. Kara can’t help but laugh.

“Sorry,” Kara says. “That was just incredible timing.”

“You laughing at me, Danvers?”

“I’m laughing with you, Arias.”

Sam cracks a grin at that. “Good answer.”

It’s in that moment Kara decides that, yeah, she does really like Sam. She can only hope that Sam likes her, too.

(Sam does like her, too.)

“So, after he pushed me into the pool, I decided to swim an entire lap just to show off and when I make it back over to him, I splashed him with as much water as I could,” Kara says, grinning. “Needless to say, we both got kicked out of mathletes.”

Sam and Lena both burst out laughing, drawing the attention of some of the other patrons in the bar.

“Wow, what a turn,” Sam says. “You had a weird high school experience, Kara.”

“Seriously,” Lena says. “At my boarding school it was all political intrigue and backstabbing and sex and way, way too much cocaine. So boring.”

Sam and Kara just stare at one another for a moment, before staring at Lena.

“How could you possibly think that’s boring?” Kara asks, bewildered.

“We’ve known each other for how long and you haven’t told me any stories about your boarding school days?” Sam says.

“Oh, it’s really nothing. This was one of the tamer boarding schools, and – oh, excuse me,” Lena says, as her phone goes off. She glances down at the number before smiling apologetically at Kara and Sam. “Sorry, I’ve got to take this. CEO stuff.”

“No problem,” Kara says.

“Make that money, sister,” Sam says.

“Thanks,” Lena says. “You two will be okay with each other, right?”

“Lena, answer your damn phone before they think you’re ignoring them,” Sam says. “We’ll be fine.”

Lena gives them one last apologetic glance before picking up her phone and swiftly exiting the bar to find a quiet spot to hold her conversation.

“Oh no, our mutual friend has left us alone,” Kara says. “Whatever will we talk about?”

“I have no idea!” Sam says. “Our social interactions are always so awkward!”

They stare at each other for barely a second before they both start laughing.

“That was a good one,” Kara says, wiping tears of mirth from her eyes. “Hey, how’s Ruby’s soccer team doing?”

“Incredibly! My little girl has a killer instinct out on the field. I’m so proud,�� Sam says, hand to heart.

“You’re terrifying. I respect that.”

“Oh, am I?” Sam asks, leaning in a little closer. “Are you scared right now, Danvers?”

Though Kara’s heart is hammering in her chest at their sudden proximity, and though it feels as if they’re now the only two people in the bar (she doesn’t have the time to unpack all of that right now), she just raises an eyebrow, staring defiantly back at Sam. Kara knows she’s not usually like this, given how prone to stammering and quick to getting flustered she is, but Sam just brings this side out of her. It fascinates and terrifies her in equal measure.

“Should I be?” Kara asks, playfully.

“Good answer,” Sam says.

Their conversation flows easily, and Kara is more thankful than ever that she started grabbing lunch with Sam whenever they could find some time. When Lena does come back, a dozen apologies waiting on the tip of her tongue, she sees Sam and Kara laughing uproariously at something. They’re sitting angled towards one another, away from the bartender and all of the other patrons, lost in their own little world. And, their knees are touching. Lena feels her stomach churning.

“Lena!” Sam says, finally tearing her attention away from Kara. “What’s the damage? Is our company still afloat?”

“Well, our more irritating board members will be furious that I’ve put the final nail in the coffin of our weapons division,” Lena says, managing a smile. “But, yes, you will still have a job after this weekend, Sam.”

“Oh, thank goodness,” Sam says. “Work is the only way I get to see your pretty face every day, Lena.”

“You’re so sweet,” Lena says dryly. “So, it seems as if you two are getting along well.”

Kara and Sam exchange a glance.

“Well, yeah, I would hope so,” Sam says. “We’ve been grabbing lunch together when we can.”

“We’ve been trying to invite you!” Kara is quick to say. “You’re just always, y’know, busy. Jess is very adamant about that.”

Lena sighs dramatically, trying her best to hide her excitement over Kara’s enthusiasm to include her. “Yes, she is, tragically, very good at her job. I’ll have to carve out some time to join you. I’d hate for you to have all the fun.”

“Exactly!” Kara says excitedly, reaching out and grabbing Lena’s hands. “We have to spend more time together. We can be like the all-women three musketeers. Hmm, wait, what famous female trios are there?”

“Sleater-Kinney,” Sam throws out immediately.

“Charlie’s Angels?” Lena adds in.

“Ooh, and Destiny’s Child!” Kara says. “Okay, wait, I guess there are a lot. There’s TLC, too, and…”

If someone were to write out a transcript of Sam’s current internal monologue, it would just be the word “fuck” in all-caps. This awful meeting they’re in, where a small contingent of board members are desperately arguing against Lena’s proposed green energy initiatives, has managed to go two full hours past its scheduled time. Sam was supposed to leave to pick Ruby up from school thirty minutes ago. Normally it wouldn’t be too big of a deal, since Ruby is preternaturally understanding for a teenager, but she had a huge test today that was really stressing her out and Sam wants to be there for her.

“Gentlemen, how much longer is this going to take?” Sam finally asks, staring pointedly at the men responsible for her being kept away from her daughter.

“We have to figure this out now!” an awful, wiry, pink-faced man bloviates. “The end of the fiscal year is almost upon us, and if we’re going to force ourselves to take on these green initiatives, we’re going to have to be serious about finalizing the budget.”

You’re going to die before the climate crisis gets bad enough for you to care about, so you’re useless in this conversation, Sam thinks and nearly says out loud, but doesn’t.

“Fine,” Sam says. “Let me pull up some data, since you’re only ever impressed by spreadsheets.”

Lena flashes her a sympathetic look as she angrily pulls out her laptop. Before she can dive into her mountains of data, she quickly pulls up her messaging app to find someone to pick up Ruby in her stead. Her contact list is awfully thin, and there’s basically only one option who actually lives in the city.

Kara.

Hey, I’m really sorry about this. Can you pick up Ruby from school? I’d really appreciate it.

As soon as she sends the message, she feels extremely foolish. She’s almost friends with Kara, maybe, but it certainly doesn’t feel like they have the kind of relationship where Kara would be picking up her daughter from school. It’s not that she doesn’t trust Kara, it’s more that she doesn’t want to inconvenience her. Ruby and Kara have only met once before, on top of everything else.

As she waits for Kara to respond, she quickly pulls up a spreadsheet and throws it up on the projector screen.

“We’ve conducted an extensive cost-benefit analysis of these green programs,” Sam says. “I’ve highlighted the obvious benefits we’d get at one, five, and even twenty years out. Lena, would you mind expanding upon this?”

“Certainly,” Lena says. “Green programs are our future. As you can see, investing in our future results in…”

Sam turns her attention back to her laptop screen, where she’s surprised to find that Kara has already responded.

I’d love to!!! Ruby and I are going to be best friends, just you wait. Just text me the address and I’ll be there right away!

This message is followed by about twenty emojis that Sam can’t even begin to decipher the meaning of. It’s so cute that she has to cover up her smile with her hand, and quickly texts the address and an exuberant thank you back to Kara. She also quickly texts Ruby.

Hey, munchkin. I’m sorry I couldn’t be there, but Kara is going to pick you up from school today.

Ruby, who’s probably just gotten out of classes, quickly responds.

No problem!

Kara is cool

She has to finish telling me the story about how she almost met CRJ, too

Sam lets out a sigh of relief. Ruby will be in good hands.

When Sam finally gets out of the meeting, after she and Lena have successfully eviscerated the absolutely fools on the board, she drives off to where Kara told her to meet them. It’s at a local burger place, unsurprisingly, and she finds the two of them sitting on the roof of Kara’s car.

“Arias!” Kara greets cheerfully. “We saved one for you.”

“Kara really wanted to eat it, but she didn’t!” Ruby adds in.

Kara reaches into the greasy, paper bag perched on the roof of her car and tosses a burger wrapped in foil at Sam, who catches it easily with one hand. If she’s being honest with herself, Sam really enjoys the impressed look that Kara gives her at that.

“She did, huh?” Sam asks, smiling. “How nice of her.”

“Lena texted me too and said that you were stuck in the world’s worst meeting,” Kara says. “Burgers always make me feel better.”

Sam peels away the layers of foil and nearly moans out loud at the sight of the cheesy, double-patty monstrosity in her hands. She takes a hearty bite.

“Can’t disagree with that, Danvers,” Sam says, between bites. “This burger is incredible, I’ve never been here before.”

“Kara has been to all of the burger restaurants in the city!” Ruby says excitedly. “We have to try them all, mom, they sound so good. She’s ranked them all, so it’ll be easy to pick and choose which ones to go to first.”

Kara blushes but looks exceptionally pleased by Ruby’s enthusiasm, and Sam feels absolutely delighted.

“Well, that sounds like a good adventure,” Sam says, mussing up Ruby’s hair with her free hand. “Where does this place rank?”

“Number three, actually, this place is super good,” Kara says. “My only knock against them is that their fries aren’t quite as crispy as numbers one and two, but that’s a small flaw.”

Sam laughs. “I love how into food you are.”

“We can get burgers with Kara, mom! She’ll teach us all their secrets,” Ruby says.

Sam’s smile grows even wider. Ruby’s a sweet kid, sure, especially for a teenager, but even she doesn’t usually warm up to adults this quickly. Kara really is something special.

“Well, I’m down for it,” Sam says, before turning her gaze to Kara. “Danvers?”

“Oh, getting burgers with two of my favorite people in the world? I’m so in.”

Kara and Sam just smile at each other for an extended beat, before Kara looks away, bashful, tucking an errant strand of hair behind her ear. Sam just chuckles before taking another bite of her burger.

“So, Rubes, how did that big test go?” Sam asks.

“Eh, not bad,” Ruby says, shrugging. “I had time to double-check all of my answers, and I don’t know if that’s a good thing or a bad thing.”

“Always good to double-check your answers,” Sam says. “I’m sure you did great.”

“Yeah, I hope so,” Ruby says. “I’m just glad it’s over.”

Their conversation flows easily as Sam finishes up her food. Already she feels as if the stress from the day – and she had been holding on to a lot of stress – has already melted away. She wonders if this is perhaps Kara’s superpower: getting overworked businesswomen to just relax, for once. It’s a good one, in any case.

“Alright, kiddo, I think we should head home,” Sam says. “Go get in the car and grab the aux cord, it’s your turn for music.”

Ruby’s face lights up and she practically sprints towards Sam’s luxury sedan, leaving just Kara and Sam in the parking lot.

“Hey, thanks again for picking her up,” Sam says. “I really appreciate that.”

“Oh, it’s no problem. Ruby’s school is super close to CatCo, anyway,” Kara says. “Besides, she’s great. We didn’t just talk about burgers, too. We ended up talking a lot about biology, since that’s what her test was in and I majored in that in college. I like to think I helped her appreciate the subject just a little bit more.”

“That’s so nice of you, Kara. And, wait, you majored in biology?”

Kara shrugs. “I double-majored in biology and communications, and minored in sociology. I wanted to do everything.”

Sam chuckles, wholly unsurprised that Kara has the degrees to back up her obvious smarts. “Well, seems like you succeeded there. You’re very impressive, Kara.”

Kara smiles at her again and Sam gets lost in it. She wants to stay in this moment forever, even though they’re in the parking lot of some burger place in National City. The sun is setting, suffusing even this place with some sort of magic, and Kara herself seems to glow beneath the orange and red and pink light.

“Hey, get dinner with me,” Sam says. “If you want. This Saturday. Consider it a thank you for picking Ruby up. And for this delicious burger.”

Kara smiles, once again messing with her hair.

“I – I would love that, sure,” Kara says. “Let’s do it.”

Sam smiles back at her, feeling suffused with a warmth that can’t be explained away by the National City sun.

#superreigncorp #superreign #supercorp #reigncorp #fanfiction #supergirl

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powerwordsleep · 5 years

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NARUTO A-Z. THERE!!!

A - Your current OTPships come and go but sasusaku is forever

B - A pairing you initially didn’t consider but someone changed your mindmaybe kakasaku???

C - A pairing you have never liked and probably never willsasunaru

D - A pairing you wish you liked but just can’tthere’s no pairing that I wish to like if I don’t like it

E - Have you added anything stupid/cracky/hilarious to your fandom, if so, whati once wrote a fanfic about team 7 getting high

F - What’s the longest you’ve ever been in a fandomam i still “in” the naruto fandom?? idk but like a good 10 years with nardo

G - Do you remember your first OTP, if so who was in itit was robstar :’)

H - Do you prefer characters from real action series or anime serieswhat kind of question is this what

I - Has tumblr caused you to stop liking any fandoms, if so, which and whythere are.... so many i hate....

J - Name a fandom you didn’t care/think about until you saw it all over tumblrtumblr did get me into sense8! and critical role

K - How do you feel about the other people in your current fandommy “current” fandom would be star wars i guess and it’s terrible even as a r*ylo shipper most other r*ylo shippers annoy the shit out of me

L - Your favorite fanartist/author gives you one request, what do you ask fori ask @baasama to draw all her ss feels and to grace me with some of it too

M - Your favorite fanart or fanartist@baasama

N - Your favorite fanfiction or fanauthor@pastelnoctis

O - Choose a song at random, which OTP does it remind you offor whatever reason Drake’s In My Feels is stuck in my head at this moment and that reminds me of..... idk kiba or smth being a fuccboi somewhere

P - Invent a random AU for any fandom (we always need more ideas)naruto!DnD idk they play dnd or smth idk im not creative

Q - A ship you’ve abandoned and whyi used to like shikaino but that was before i realized shikamaru is a dick

R - A pairing you ship that you don’t think anyone else shipsso i know people “””ship””” team 7 ot3 but i literally don’t trust/believe anyone else when they say that bc usually it’s just sasunaru shippers who want to pretend they don’t hate sakura OR it’s sakura stans who want her to beat up on/have all the attention from naruto and sasuke (aka if the dicks don’t touch it’s not gay bro)

S - Show us an example of your personal headcanonsasuke keeps a picture of sakura and sarada in his coat pocket that he looks at every night while he out traveling/on missions

T - If you mostly have homoships, do you have any heteroshipswhat the fuck is a “homoship”

U - If you mostly have heteroships, do you have any homoshipswhat the fuck is a heteroship what are yall 12

V - Are you one of those fans who can’t watch anything without shipping....... perhaps

W - 5 favorite characters from 5 different fandomssakura, rey, beauregard,

X - 3 OTPs from 3 different fandomsTHE OTPs AREsasusakuzutarareylo

Y - A fandom you’re in but have no ships fromhmmMMMmmm idontthinkihaveone

Z - Just ramble about something fan-related, go go gookay listen the RIGHT way to ship team 7 ot3 is for it to Actually BE POLYAMORY okay it’s a THREESOME so that means THREE PEOPLE are all in a relationship with EACH OTHER and love each other EQUALLY. and since sarada is team 7 baby lets say naruto does marry henrieta but it goes south fast and he’s always over at ss house helping take care of sarada and then eventually sasusaku convince him to leave his wife/seduce him and he goes to live with them okay wait some pls i need this -

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imhereformysciencefriends · 6 years

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I can’t believe Yugioh invented healthy polyamory

#yugioh #ygo #reygo

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shemakesmeforget · 6 years

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15 fics under 1K kudos - WIPs

Here’s the list for wips, I might have to do a part 2 for this too lol WHO READS THIS MUCH JSADGSJG these are all fics I think are not abandonded (if I’m wrong, correct me) but I just listed stuff that've been updated in the last 6 months, just in case. Anyway, enjoy :)

A Practical Guide to Winning the Olympics (Dos and Don’ts) by Anna (arctic_grey) (@finleighsaid)

Canonverse, Rated E, 75K, 3 / 4

When pair skater Yuuri Katsuki’s career comes to a scandalous end, he does not expect the retired pair skating legend Viktor Nikiforov to suggest that they compete together. But taking on a new skating partner is full of trial and error, and the skating world doesn’t know how to react when the Katsuki-Nikiforov duo, against all odds, starts doing well. The last thing either of them should do, as they strive for their last chance at greatness, is to fall in love. Yuuri knows he is damaged goods, and Viktor knows his body is starting to fail him. They have competitions to survive and medals to win. No, falling in love is out of the question; they’re just very good friends. And even if Viktor felt something, he’d never act on it, and even if Yuuri happened to be hopelessly in love, he’d be mortified if Viktor ever found out.

“Well,” Viktor said, “let’s summarise: I’m pushing thirty, have a bad ankle, and haven’t skated competitively in three years. You’re barely out of a doping scandal, coachless, and on the JSF’s blacklist. Hell, Yuuri – we might as well go for it, then. What on earth do we have to lose?

When Viktor put it like that, it seemed to make an awful lot of sense.

• The fact that this is one of the few pair skating AUs out there it’s insane imo BUT this one is so good? just imagine the amount of UST, they’re all over each other, i’m in love!

Mon Trésor by KasumiChou (@kasumi-chou)

Canonverse, Rated T, 14K, 4 / 5

Curse his fragile little heart for always falling for people out of his league.

Like, what chance did he ever have with Victor Nikiforov? But Victor still became, not only his childhood idol but also, his first crush.

His first crush was a man four years his senior. A man who lived in another continent. A man that hadn’t known he existed until a week ago.

Then he had moved to Geneva, and his heart had been hypnotized by Chris’s charm

Before he knew it, not only had Chris hypnotized him, but also seduced him.

His fragile little heart had done it again, falling in love with another man out of his league.

At least his second crush had been a little more realistic.

He knew Chris, they had been rink mates - and later roommates.

Maybe that is what made it so much more dangerous.

• Get ready to be hit with angsty love traingle/polyamory feels my dudes, this is about to get juicy af.

Sometimes you need an alterego by SassySalchow (@diedraechin)

Canonverse, Rated T, 3K, 1/?

In the daytime, I'm Katsuki Yuuri, just a dime-a-dozen figure skater with a normal life. But there's something about me that no one knows yet, 'cause I have a secret... cue theme music

The Miraculous Ladybug! AU that no one asked for but I'm gonna write anyway

• This is so fluffy and fun! I know nothing about ML and enjoyed it a lot anyway.

sweet like love (soft like pain) by postingpebbles (@postingpebbles)

Canonverse, Rated M, 9K, 3/?

Loving Yuuri was a choice that Viktor never regretted making. His smile, his laughter, the way his lips felt against his own—nothing could make him happier than having Yuuri in his arms.

But when the entire world has no idea that rivals Yuuri Katsuki and Viktor Nikiforov are in a relationship, Viktor can't do anything at all when Yuuri gets in an accident and is rushed to the hospital the day after he proposes in a hotel room in Nagano

• Angsty secret relationships are apparently my thing, this one is so bittersweet because they’re so cute and soft but at the same time the drama!!!

the face of heaven (the taste of sin) by RedHeather (@red--heather)

Canonverse, Rated E, 9K, 2/?

Yuri Plisetsky @y_plisetsky Pity you didn’t medal at Four Continents,

@phichit_chu . That way you’d have something other than my hands around your fucking neck.Phichit Chulanont

@phichit_chu @y_plisetsky, can you even reach my neck?

There is a bitter rivalry between Yakov Feltsman and Celestino Cialdini that has stretched on for decades.

As tensions escalate and the ISU begin to punish any aggressors, it was inevitable that Viktor Nikiforov and Katsuki Yuuri, rivals-by-consequence and enemies-by-association, would fall in love.

• Rivals AU but like whole skating fams against each other!!!!! Sassy Yuuri, pining Viktor, angry Yuri and lots of social media shenanigans.

Focus on Me by alipiee (@alipiee)

College AU, Rated T, 5K, 1 / 2

For Victuri Gift Exchange 2017

Prompt: "College AU -Yuuri’s roommate Phichit has to suddenly move back to Thailand for the rest of the semester due to a family emergency, and Yuuri has to find a new roommate quickly in order to pay the rent on their apartment. Viktor is the only one who applies, and he’s not at all what Yuuri expects."

• ALL THE PINING with a side of misunderstanding, good stuff! so sweet

Time and Hearts Will Wear Us Thin by lunar_peach

College AU, Rated T, 151K, 19 / 20

Maybe it was the impact of the fall, and the numbing action of the ice, but he felt weightless. He felt conquered by cupid and the sting of his arrow right in the middle of his chest as he looked up at Yuuri, who held a blank expression on his face.

Somewhere in the distance, though it seemed like a different dimension to Victor, a timer went off. The music stopped.

You could hear it in the silence then.

Victor’s heart was going one hundred miles an hour.

Or the one where Yuuri Katsuki, scented candle aficionado, and self-proclaimed hot mess, never intended to capture the attention of one eligible bachelor, Victor Nikiforov, but sometimes the universe has its ways of making things happen. Amidst inner battles with their demons and themselves, they find a world in one another neither quite expected.

• The tags look kinda crazy but don't fear (?) this fic goes through lots of years LOTS, a story about friendship, love, heartache, “we can't be together vs we should be together”, and the ongoing growth of the characters BEWARE it gets super angsty at times.

do you love me just a little, honey? by DefiantDreams (@gia-comeatme)

Spy/Mafia AU, Rated E, 4K, 1 / 3

Viktor Nikiforov, next Pakhan, has a type.

Yuuri Katsuki, Division 6’s newest honeypot agent, is sent to exploit that.

• Honeypot Yuuri aka my dream, awesome funny sexy mystery!

Victor the Great by Multiple_Universes (@witharthurkirkland)

Historical AU, Rated T, 43K, 17 / 21

At the age of nine Victor became the Tsar of all the Russias with Lilia as regent. One day he will be the sole ruler of Russia, the man who makes all the decisions and gets to do what he wants, with one exception: he has to marry a woman from a Russian aristocratic family. Except that he falls in love with a boy who is a foreign commoner. Will he risk the throne to be able to marry the one he loves?

Based loosely on Peter the Great's life (with some tweaks made to history).

• Follow the life of Tsar Viktor falling in love with Yuuri and eventually having his very own St. Victorburg or Yuuriburg ;)

It's All Contextual by AlexWSpark (@alexwspark)

Office AU, Rated M, 24K, 6 / 8

Why in the seven levels of fuck was Victor Nikiforov buying him coffee?

Yuuri decides to find out.

• Dorky Viktor + Confident Yuuri + misunderstanding = surprisingly not an angsty story!! very cute and fluffy

The Roommate Trap by impolitecanadian (@impolitecanadian)

Roommate AU, Rated M, 11K, 5/?

Victor doesn't believe in marriage. So when Chris, his best friend and roommate of 6 years, tells him he's going to have to move out so he can get married, Victor is reasonably upset. Good thing Victor's upstairs neighbour is looking for a roommate and maybe a little (okay, a lot) more.

this is basically the odd couple but with a lot more sex and non-subtextual gayness

• Viktor is a fool, Yuuri is the sass master/anxiety disaster, Chris just wants all the drama. They totally don’t work well together but it’s hilarious.

Roses of May by cuttlemefish (@cuttlemefishwrites)

Royalty/Magic AU, Rated E, 18K, 5/?

At age five, all children are assessed for talent and beauty in the City of Hasetsu and the other eight cities of the Empire. Every year, five are branded with the mark of a rose before being carded off to the Emperor’s palace where they are trained to become Roses, or sacrifices to be sent every May to the Ice Spirit that lives in the castle at the top of the mountain. Roses never return, except for Katsuki Yuuri, who shocks the Empire when he appears again two years after his departure with a silver crown on his head and a blond baby in his arms, demanding the Emperor step down or face the wrath of his husband, the Ice King. But, not everything is what it seems.

• Such an interesting world with lots of very well thought details! also... growing up together, childhood friends to lovers...... you can’t come at me like that.

History Maker by 96percentdone (@96percentdone)

Time Travel/Soulmates AU, Rated T, 15K, 5/?

It's the year 2134. Katsuki Yuuri, recently turned 18, just got his soulmark. There's really only one thing left to do: submit it to the online database and figure out who his match is, meet up with them and hopefully live happily ever after. Seems simple enough, right? Well, it would be, if his soulmate wasn't Viktor Nikiforov, a figure skating legend from the early 2000s.

AKA the story where Yuuri invents time travel to be with his soulmate, and shenanigans happen.

• me at me: don’t read this you’re a big baby and you’ll suffer; also me:¯\_(ツ)_¯ I like this AU a lot, imagine being so iconic you invent time travel just to meet your soulmate.

Toxic Valentine by voxofthevoid (@voxofthevoid)

Demons AU, Rated E, 53K, 8/?

The worst he can do is kill you with his dick.

Viktor, pleasantly tipsy and unpleasantly lonely, assumes that the pretty man he sees in a club is a sex demon. Instead, he finds reserved, nervous Katsuki Yuuri who’s as reluctantly enchanted by Viktor as Viktor is by him.

The rest of the night is unforgettable, and in the morning, Yuuri’s still there.

Love bleeds into lust, infatuation becomes adoration, and it's not long before the loneliness Viktor wears like a shroud disintegrates under the weight of warm brown eyes and tender hands. But Viktor has his secrets, and Yuuri might not be all he seems.

In which Viktor discovers life and love in a man who’s as mysterious as he is beautiful, and it could be the best or worst thing that’s ever happened to him.

• The love story between the thirstiest demon hunter aka Viktor and a demon??????? Yuuri. A great balance between fluff, sexy times and mystery!

Water by Peasantaries (@peasantaries)

Dancers AU, Rated E, 26K, 11 / 15

Yuuri is nineteen, a student at the Royal Ballet School in London, and already having doubts when Viktor Nikiforov joins as a guest teacher.

Famous, beloved Russian Prince in Bourne's Swan Lake, Nikiforov is Yuuri's idol from afar, but these two forces soon collide after Viktor oversees Yuuri practising and decides that Yuuri could surpass him, if only he can learn to move like water.

[WILL BE COMPLETED]

• lots of dancing!!! off the charts UST!!! Two dorks that should DATE ALREADY!! amazing

Shall We Dance? by darlingholocene (@byebyeholocene)

DWTS AU, Rated T, 11K, 6/?

Season 21 of Dancing With the Stars is about to air its first episode (March 30, on ABC), and the celebrity cast has finally been announced today.

Among them is Russian ice skating legend Victor Nikiforov, two-time Olympic Gold Medalist and five-time World Champion. Nikiforov, who just won Gold at the Sochi Olympics in front of his home public, has been paired with DWTS veteran Yuuri Katsuki, who is yet to win the Mirrorball Trophy despite this being his eighth season as a pro.

Victor and Yuuri's journey on DWTS narrated entirely through social media.

• Totally a pick me up fic! light, fun and adorable!

#yuri on ice #fic rec #yoi fic rec #please leave kudos and comments on wips #i try to do that every time becuase i know it's fuel for writers #and not everyone wants to read wips because of the risk of being abandoned #which i get but at the same time..... you could enjoy it still #anyway!!! ENJOY #chel fic recs

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