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girlweepinginstairwell · 24 days

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BORING! BANAL! PREDICTABLE! CLICHÉ! AND WORST OF ALL… PROFOUNDLY UNCHIC!

#i put this in my drafts a few months ago… i wish i could remember what had me so incensed #i bet i was right

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syoddeye · 12 days

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john price x f!reader thing. unedited. ~600 words.

john price finds a dent in the driver’s door and a note tucked under a wiper.

sorry i can’t afford to pay, please forgive me x

and he’s angry, of course. who wouldn’t be? piece of shit. then he registers the looping handwriting and the little heart in the corner. interesting. he pulls the cctv. lo and behold, there she is. the culprit. some stumbling drunk buffoon.

~~

you probably shouldn’t have nabbed an e-scooter when you were three sheets to the wind, but you did, and fuck, you’re paying for it. you genuinely feel bad about the dent you left in the parked car last night, but you think a broken wrist and three stitches in your lip is more than enough punishment, thanks. you groan, remembering how you tossed the scooter into a bush and hiked a few streets away before calling 999. having to clock in for an opening shift added insult to injury.

~~

he imagines it’s rough going, working an espresso machine with a busted wrist. he supposes the manager didn’t want her as the cashier given the lip. pity, the swelling and stitches aside, she’s quite cute. but serves her right.

he wonders how she’ll react when he picks up his coffee and procures the printed still of her face, clear as day, fleeing from the scene of the crime.

he should feel bad, considering her injuries and what a barista job pays, but. it’s the principle of the thing.

“rough night?” he asks, hovering at the end of the bar.

“huh? oh, yeah. could say that,” she smiles tiredly. it’s a little strained, but still warm. “pity partied too hard.”

john’s smirk flattens. “pity party?”

“yeah,” she shrugs. “series of unfortunate events.”

like running into my car?

“what, bad date?” he jokes carefully, hiding behind a friendly grin.

“ha, guess so. it was supposed to be an anniversary dinner.” she explains dryly, looking all the more defeated as she tamps the grounds.

“supposed to be?”

she glances up, locking in the portafilter with a crank of her good arm. she finally looks a little suspicious of him. smart. “yeah.”

“i don’t mean to pry. you just seem like you could use a vent.” solid recovery.

it works. she considers a moment, shrugs again, and nods as she pulls the shot. “guess so,” she licks her lip and looks back, evidently deeming him harmless. not smart.

“found out he was cheating, called him on it, and he stormed out. after we ordered.”

that’s. that’s not what he expected. but it stirs something oddly protective. john’s a bit old-fashioned, he’s the first to admit it, so to hear about a man carrying himself so poorly? a man running around on a pretty thing like her?

it doesn’t sit well with him. car be damned.

“so how’d you…” he prompts, nodding at the cast.

“oh, yeah, we ordered some fancy wine. i drank most of the bottle alone, sobbing,” she cracks a self-deprecating smile and it dislodges something in his chest. “but the server didn’t charge me for dessert. i, uh, fell on my way home.”

crashed. you crashed into my car.

“sounds terrible.”

“it was. the whole night was. anyway.” she pauses to slide a pen from her apron to write on the cup. “americano to go?” she asks, pushing the drink over the counter, eyes floating to the next order.

john spots the same little heart, the looping letters. he looks back at her, plugging along despite the clear heartache and injuries. he sighs, crumpling the print out in his pocket.

“think i’ll have it to stay, actually,” he mumbles, knowing she doesn’t hear him as she makes the next drink.

he camps out at a table where he can watch her. there’s a dent in his car, but he’s decided there’s a barista-sized hole in his life.

#john price #price is right #price x f!reader #price x female reader #no I don’t know what this is either #self-indulgent tbh #why can’t I have met john price when I was a drunk barista #we love readers taking Ls around here #also I bet cctv footage is ass but in fic land it’s not pls forgive me

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k--o--m--o--r--e--b--i · 1 year

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studying queer history (i’m watching star trek)

#I think i’m so funny #star trek #spirk #star trek tos #spock #james t kirk #watching this show is like a punch in the face #like you hear abt how this is like the first ‘ship’#and you go yeah right 🙄#I bet this show from the 60s is sooo gay #and then BOOM #2nd episode ‘I feel ashamed of our friendship’#WOW #now that’s television #mine

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deadsetobsessions · 2 months

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Alley Drunk! Danny AU- Pt. 4

[Pt.1] [Pt.2] [Pt.3]

Danny blinked down at the cart, where a red hoodie and pants with red stripes along the side laid over the lip of the cart. Considering they’re in this universe’s brand of Marget- seriously, who names a store Target? If anything in Amity Park was named that, Skulker would have wrecked it in five seconds flat- it’s hilariously on brand. Though, to be fair, this was Gotham’s version too, which meant a lot of security guards (who definitely doubled as goons for the Rogues, Danny was sure) and the vibes were spooky.

“I’m guessing red’s your favorite color.”

Instead of the humorous way he meant the sentence, Jason looked up anxiously and Danny immediately hated himself a little bit more.

“Sh- I can put it back..?” Jason hunched in on himself.

Danny tracked the movement with clearer eyes than he’s had in a long while and ancients, does it remind him of how Dani was in front of Vlad all those years ago. And Danny has spent his entire half life being not like Vlad, so he’s not going to start now.

“Nah, you should definitely add some more stuff. This is no where near enough clothes.”

It really wasn’t. Danny had taken Jason to the store to pick out clothes- “Ther’s a second hand store down the stree’, ya know,” Jason had mumbled when they went through the doors- but the kid had only tentatively put in a small red hoodie and some pants in the cart. Now he had to put this in a way that’ll wipe the stubbornly hesitant look on Jason’s face off.

“Think about it this way, then. You’re repping me now, and while I might be the alley drunk, I’m not the poorly dressed alley drunk, yeah?”

“Oh. Tha’ makes sense.” Jason nodded to himself determinedly, and the kid strode over to the t-shirt section. For all of his confidence, he still glanced back to see if it was okay with Danny.

Well, Dani was the same way before she found her confidence (when she knew Danny wouldn’t abandon her or hurt her) so Danny just gave him a thumbs up before reaching into the rack and sweeping an armful of clothing straight into the cart. Then, he strode over to the jackets and grabbed the ones in Jason’s size and slightly bigger. Oh, he has to grab shoes. He’ll leave that for later, but Danny was going to get those ratty trainers off of Jason’s feet and into the nearest trash can if it was the last thing he does.

The halfa hummed, pausing at the first decidedly not miserable sound he’s made in a while. Dammit, if that wasn’t a sign of Danny’s attachment to Jason, he doesn’t know what would be. To be fair… Danny already committed murder for the kid, which was pretty much something he thought he’d never do, so in for a penny out for a pound or whatever.

He put a significant amount of the budget aside for the section labeled “JASON” so Danny shopped without a worry. Charlie’s ill-gotten assets were a good monetary compensation for his crime of existing near Jason or existing, period.

He picked up toiletries, toothbrushes and the like, when Jason came back sans t-shirt. Instead of a shirt- Danny had actually hoped that Jason would try to get multiple shirts- Jason was clutching a book.

Before he could even voice anything, Danny plucked the book out of his grip and put it into the cart with a disarming smile.

“Oh, good idea. We should get you books too. Wanna go pick out some more?”

“Uh- y’re just gonna get a book, just like that?”

“More than one book, I should hope. You are going to school, right?”

“…Yeah!” Danny couldn’t fathom ever being excited at the thought of school, but as Jason bounced away to peruse the admittedly poor selection of books, Danny couldn’t help but think that maybe he should give this education thing another try. Who knows? Maybe it’ll be less stressful now that he’s not Phantom.

Danny walked to the aisle next to the books and promptly proceeded to shove every single piece of stationary he thought was nice- pens, gel pens, cooling pens and pencils, a thick stack of notebooks, flash cards, etcetera- into the rapidly getting full cart.

Jason came back with three more books- nice, the classics- and froze at the sight of the cart.

“Oh, hey. Getting all of those?”

“Wha’- wha’s wit’ the stuff?”

“School supplies! Quality education starts with quality supplies, you know!” Danny said, a sliver of the grin that used to come so easily to him making an appearance on his face. "Don't worry, I budgeted. See?"

Danny handed Jason a piece of paper, confident that the kid would know if it was good or not.

"Where'd... ya get all of this?"

"Hmm... here and there."

Jason looked up at him, squinting suspiciously. "I hear' Charlie's gone poofed up."

Danny shrugged and put a calculator in the cart. "Oh, I'm sure he's busy."

Yeah, Danny thought vindictively. Busy being dead.

"Ya sound like a walking con," Jason said as he visibly decided to give up fighting against Danny's spending. "We nee' food."

"Gotcha. Well, if you need anything else, just bring it into the cart."

"I want veggies. Frozen, 's cheaper."

Danny nodded, resisting the urge to ruffle Jason's hair.

----

"Hey, you's the Alley Drunk, right? 'Bout that boy you've been toting ar-"

Danny punched the guy in the face, dropping him like a stone. He looked up slowly and swayed.

"Any of you ask about my kid brother again, and I won't bother with being drunk when I hit you."

Rapid nods. Danny shuffled away, satisfied.

----

Two weeks later, after a school day, Danny finds Jason heading to the bathroom with a box of...

"Hair-dye?"

Jason, who was marginally more relaxed and assured that Danny wasn't going to kick him out, nodded.

"Dye's fadin' n' I dun wanna get nabbed on the streets for having red hair."

Danny blinked. "You have red hair?"

"Sure do. See? Roots are showin' again." Jason pointed at his scalp where Danny could see the hair was getting lighter.

"Right. Well- I'll leave you to it. Let me know if you need help, kiddo." Danny said, desperately hoping he hid how off kilter he was feeling well.

"I don't need help, ah've been doing this for ages." The kid went into the bathroom and closed the door harshly. When the lock clicked and the faucet began running, Danny let himself slide down the wall into a crouch, hands cradling his head.

Red hair. Blue eyes. Tan skin. The facial features. The intelligence and empathy.

Danny chuckled hysterically under his breath.

Was Jason this universe's version of Jazz?

"Fuck."

#danny phantom #batman #dc x dp #dpxdc #danny adopts jason todd #jason todd #bamf danny phantom #alley drunk! danny au #danny: i'm grieving #jason: wanna bet?#that's right jason's this universe's jazz fenton #this universe's danny fenton died and that's why danny can exist here without causing issues #danny: i have adopted a random child #danny: this child is jazz wtf

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swagveryswagamazinf · 10 months

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memories w the family:]]

#qsmp #qsmp fanart #my art #elmariana #slimecicle #qsmp el mariana #qsmp slimecicle #qsmp juanaflippa #juanaflippa #el mariana #I MISS RJEM. SO MUCH I BET THEY WOULD ENJOY TO MAKE THESE BRACELETS #they spent a lot of time trying to make the right knot and in the process the bracelet broke #la familia como dios la creo #the quality looks v bad in the preview I hope it's actually good or I'm going to eat a door

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sansxfuckyou · 1 year

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and? I may be from Twitter but at least I can see its still unethical to mislead people into thinking you post TMNT by using a TMNT icon when you don't

#asks #anon #hate anon #???#I bet you feel real fucking stupid right now anon

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annabelle--cane · 6 months

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finishes watching the new hbomberguy video. goes to james somerton's twitter to look for any response. the page is deleted. goes to james somerton's youtube community tab. comments are turned off. goes to james somerton's most recent video to check for a pinned comment or something. comments are turned off. goes to james somerton's patreon to see if there's anything new there even if I can't read it. the page is deleted. now that's what I call environmental storytelling.

#marina marvels at life #I am currently (3 dec 2023) placing a bet that his whole youtube catalog might disappear before the year's out #if I am right then I win: bragging rights

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faultyvessel · 7 months

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I love the TMAGP logo as much as anyone but is also kills me inside that the TMA universe will now and forever be tied to the classic Christmas colour scheme

🎶Holly Jolly Horror, it’s the best time of the year🎶

#I bet it would be red because of colour theory before we saw it and was vindicated when I was right!#but then… the repercussions #i know it’s WAY TO EARLY to make a Christmas post but this is another thing that’s been eating at me since the logo was revealed #the magnus archives #the magnus protocol #tmagp #magnus pod #tma

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humming-fly · 1 month

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I know I've thought of a good shitpost when the premise is only funny to me and maybe three other people

#i bet you all thought i'd do an fma crossover first huh? Foolish. kirby shitpost attack #malevolent #malevolent podcast #arthur lester #john doe #comic #my art #doodles #kirby #not shown is john describing a waddle dee to arthur in the worst way possible #'oh arthur....'#'it's a small orange creature - unlike anything from your world'#'it stands maybe one foot high and moves with an odd gait - its limbs sliding across its body as if disconnected'#'fleshy protrusions on both of its sides sway with it...almost like limbs that have been amputated - leaving just the stumps'#'oh god arthur...its face...'#'two long wet eyes sit in the center of its body - they're drawn and pulled in an uneven shape'#'it's pupils fill the bottom two thirds of each long oval'#'the rest of the face or head is featureless and smooth - it has no mouth only tan stretched skin that looks pliant to the touch'#'arthur...it's Staring Right. At. Us.'#waddle dee: wanya

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edorazzi · 7 months

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distributing a vital PSA to the Miraculous community!!! 💖

#miraculous ladybug #miraculous tales of shadybug and claw noir #miraculous spoilers #felix agreste #josie talks about things #THAT'S A FELIX ALL RIGHT #the anime directors just switched his ring position so he can't keep giving plagg the middle finger :/#anyway this special was actually so good and funny! look at me keeping up with things #you bet i'm drawing stuff but i had to get this informative powerpoint slide out NOW #ml spoilers

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l0ganberry · 2 months

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Since I did Barnaby, why not do all the rest of the neighbors? (Including home)

All of this started because of one simple and funny thing I did with Barnaby

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recycledraccoon · 6 months

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Burrows End is SO SO good and Aabria is such a master of story telling. This season, despite being genuine DnD vs other systems Aabria has used, hasn't actually seen all that much full blown combat. Like, of course they've fought things throughout, but it's been so much more information hunting and puzzling together all the lore. But this obviously means those scenes we do have such full blown COMBAT with sets so much more important, which was obvious in the reactor....but the bear....so obviously it's been focused on in reference to Tula's reveal, or as a show of how fucked up biology wise this world they live in is and how dangerous it is in the forest.

But it's also Aabria laying such incredibly subtle groundwork. It's showing us "this is possible in this world. This happens. They can get inside of you, burrow into you, and you will be their walking warren. Parasite and host intertwined."

And then we move on...we focus on the secrets of the first stoats and learning of all these human things, and the chipmunks and bear are just fun tidbits to throwback to about how scary and fucked up things are, but no longer relevant.

Last week we heard those tapes, and I thought "that voice change there...the 'they're so sneaky'...was that a first stoat, who we only heard as squeaks, instead speaking through Dr. Wenabocker as he died?"

And I forgot about the bear too.

But the SECOND it was revealed that Wenabocker left, that his body was gone and that Phoebe left too? It all clicked.

The Bear wasn't just a fun, really cool fucked up battle set for an episode, it was incredibly important foreshadowing. The foundation, the trap, the big bad all at once hidden behind a cool, fucked up bear in the second goddamn episode of the season.

#hitting us again and again with “things will die and things will bring you back to life and things will be inside of you keeping you alive”#wenabocker isnt dead #but if any part of him is cognizant enough to know what's happening i bet he wishes he was #wenabocker is the bear and i bet the only way to kill phoebe is to stop his heart and kill him just like they did in ep. 2 #aabria my beloved #ive been strolling in this vivid story-forest you made us and walked right into your bear trap #dimension 20 #d20 spoilers #dimension 20 spoilers #burrows end #d20 burrow's end #burrows end spoilers #d20 burrow's end spoilers #burrow's end #burrow's end spoilers

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poorly-drawn-mdzs · 2 months

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Mo Ran fails to master the art of pspsps (continuation of this)

(For @airagorncharda)

#poorly drawn erha #erha #2ha #the husky and his white cat shizun #chu wanning #mo ran #Second raffle surprise: A part 2!#...I meant it when I said a lot of people asked for chu wanning #Small disclaimer that I don't know much about about erha but...if this man is supposed to be cat coded then I understand enough.#I bet he gets sleepy in the middle of the day and needs lots of naps.#Likes affection but if you're the wrong person or engaging at the wrong time: GOOD LUCK.#Guy who everyone is a little bit obsessed with being the focus of his attention.#Mo Ran gives me 'plays with cats like they are dogs and is always covered in scratches because of it' vibes #No idea if any of these are right at all.#It was important for me to give Mo Ran big eyebrows (per the husky title). That is a hill I'll die on.

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posts-from-2520ad · 28 days

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there's literally gonna be a new taylor swift album im so excited it's been like six years

(if you are one of the gatekeeping weirdos who only counts the albums taylor released during her lifetime as "real ts" this post is not for you, let people be excited, the machine was literally trained not just on her music but on her brainwaves so there is literally no discernible difference)

#i guess the lawsuit finally got resolved for the label???? which means i bet her hologram is going to start doing concerts again too #i only really got into her when i was doing my conscript (which is why I haven't posted in like two years lmao sorry)#and even then I've only really listed to the most recent fifty albums not the old stuff #anyway rip to Matthew Xiuying-Swift for losing the rights to her estate but at least we are getting more music out of it #taylor swift

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musubiki · 2 months

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danmarch 🐉💎

#honkai star rail #dan heng #march 7th #danmarch #fanart #hsr #what else do i tag. i have no idea #anyway. im breaking my VERY LONG oc art streak to post my one(1) contribution to star rail #i care them very much #ive been playing this game so religiously and they have not left my team #tragic past(emo) vs tragic past(girly pop)#theres NO WAY with marchs very teenage girl mind that she does not have a crush on the hot cool mysterious yet caring dragon guy #who stays in the room right next to her #and the fact that he teases her so much........#the whole ass belabog quest he throws in little harmless march roasts every so often #he fucking CARE her #i bets shes like a filipino mom with that camera. every oppertunity (picture!!!!)#and dan heng gets dragged into it #he is honing his photography skills against his will #any nice place? shes like (lemme pose can you get a photo of me?)#dan heng just sighs #they bond over silently judging stelle rummaging through the garbage #cast each other that best friend glance as half her body is sticking out of a trash bin #i like to think you see them hanging out on the train together #with dan heng reading some obscure 8th century book on civilization pattern and development #and march is humming and putting stickers and aesthetic shit in her scrapbook #taping a piece of antimatter legion loot in the middle of a page #and with bubbly handwriting (we beat some bad guys today!!! <333 so fun!!)

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metacrisisdoctor · 10 months

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2.00 | 3.00

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