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wcters · 7 days

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𝗜 𝗖𝗔𝗡 𝗗𝗢 𝗜𝗧 𝗪𝗜𝗧𝗛 𝗔 𝗕𝗥𝗢𝗞𝗘𝗡 𝗛𝗘𝗔𝗥𝗧

pairing: matt sturniolo x fem!reader

word count: 1.1k

summary: when you think you’re ready to give matt’s stuff back and move on, one question from his brother breaks you

warnings/notes: part two of ‘Polaroids’, angst, established relationship, mental health mentions, kissing, thank you to everyone who wanted a part two! this is for you 💋 also based on ‘i can do it with a broken heart’ by taylor swift because the new album is amazing 🤍

You always thought of yourself as resilient. You pushed through hard times and tough situations even though you felt like you couldn’t. You hear the phrase ‘fake it till’ you make it’ your whole life from your parents . . . So that’s what you did. You put on a fake smile and pushed through. You only let yourself feel every once and a while, while the rest was spent pushing it down.

With Matt, you never had to do that. You always had someone there to let you know you were okay . . . That you weren’t alone. He was there holding your hand and grounding you, he was there being your shoulder to cry on and held you when you broke down. For years, you weren’t alone. Now you were again, and you needed him.

After that night you put the last few polaroids from your wall away, you pushed your feelings to the back of your mind like you used to. You felt like you had been tricked ━━ like you had been fooled. You didn’t hate him . . . You were just unknowingly putting the blame on him because you felt embarrassed.

You went out with your friends acted like you were having fun, dancing and smiling for pictures while you felt like you were dying inside. You answered Nick and Chris’s texts with fake ‘I’m okay’s’ and ‘I’m fine’s’. You were now the one tricking everyone else. No one seemed to catch on that you could see. But Matt did.

He saw how your smile didn’t quite reach your eyes, how your hands would be gripping a glass to the point where he knew it would make imprints into your palm. He saw how you used your punctuation when you answered his brother’s texts and how he heard your voice when they FaceTimed you (they thought he was asleep). He knew . . . He would always know.

It was a couple months after you had finished packing his things that you still had away when you decided it was time to drop them off. At that point in time, you were too focused with acting like you were okay to realize you weren’t actually ready. You didn’t realize it until Nick asked you that one question.

Your knuckles banged against the wooden door as you waited. You saw that Chris and Matt were out from one of Chris’s snaps he sent you, so you thought you could get it over with now and not have to face your ex-boyfriend. There were footsteps before the door was opened and there stood Nick. You smiled at him, and he smiled back. He knew something was wrong but it didn’t solidify until he saw your face.

Your eyes were sunken ━━ under eyes black like a buildup of cried-up mascara. Your face was pale, the rosiness of your cheeks Nick was always jealous of was like a fading memory. You looked almost . . . Hollow. A facade of your old self. He decided not to say anything, at least not yet. “Would you like to come in and set that down? Matt and Chris are out.” He told you. You nodded, not wanting to talk just yet incase you broke down.

You two made your way up their stairs, walking into the kitchen and putting the box on the kitchen. You resisted to look around or sit down like you used to. You weren’t his anymore, this wasn’t your second home anymore. “Want a coke?” The brunette asked you. You replied with a small ‘sure’ and stayed where you were. You were handed the coke and Nick went to sit down, looking at you as if to to tell him to follow him. You did.

You two sat in silence for a minute before you started the conversation. You were confident enough you weren’t going to sound like you wanted to cry. You didn’t want this to be any more awkward than it already was. You two talked about things ━━ family, friends, things that have happened. You don’t know how long you were there for, but soon enough your drink was finished and you were excusing yourself. Nick was following you to the stairs when he spoke up.

“Are you okay?” Nick asked you. You froze. Were you? You had tricked yourself into thinking you were okay because you acted like you were fine . . . But you weren’t. A sob broke through your lips and he grabbed you and pulled you in. You knew you would feel embarrassed if you could think about anything else but the feelings you had pushed down breaking through the dam you had put up. “Oh honey.” Your knees shook and Nick continued to hold you even as you fell to the floor. You ignored the pain that flared in your knees.

“I miss him.” You cried, knuckles holding on to him as if he would disappear if you let go. “I miss you too.” This time, the voice came from behind you as you turned around to see the boy who still had your heart. Now, you felt embarrassed. But also relieved that you weren’t alone in feeling like absolute shit. Matt nodded to Nick and Chris who showed up with Matt who then left leaving you and Matt. You continued your sobbing and Matt joined you on the floor. He pulled you into his lap and just held you, whispering things you couldn’t hear over the sound of your cries into your neck.

Matt was hurting as bad as you were, but he knew you. He knew you had been holding everything in. He knew you needed to let it out more than he did. He never stopped you or interrupted you once, just rubbed your back and told you to breathe every once and awhile. When you finally stopped, you looked up at the man who was holding you.

He had tears in his eyes. “I’m sorry.” You apologized, moving to get up and wipe your tears. “Don’t be sorry.” His hand stopped you, keeping you where you were. “I was an idiot. I never should have hurt you the way I did. I made a promise, and I broke that. I’m sorry.” You could feel his hands against the sides of your face. You smiled softly, a tear joining the ones stained in your face. “I don’t want my things back. I want you back, and want you to keep them. I want the Polaroids up on your wall, the smell of your perfume permanently on my sweaters, and you the evidence of you in my life. I want you.”

You pulled him into a kiss, your feelings being let out. You were letting him know how you were feeling. “I love you, Matt.” You whispered as your forehead pressed against his. “I love you so much,” you laughed, “I love your shoes at my door, the smell of your hoodies, you.” He smiled. “Glad we’re on the same page with that one.” He joked as you let out a quick laugh.

“Just shut up and kiss me, Matt.”

“Yes ma’am.”

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m1ssunderstanding · 2 months

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Understanding Lennon McCartney Rewatch Part 3.3

John having to get high out of his mind because he knows he's invited Paul to come play with him is so so sad. These are the same guys who used to sit facing each other on a bed playing guitars for hours, and now this is them?

Is John calling Paul “Jack Lemon” a reference to “some like it hot”? Because if so, I have questions. Anyway, when your estranged best friend shows up to hang out with you and a bunch of people, talking about being in love again and getting jizzed on is extremely normal and acceptable behavior.

This jam session is so fucking painful though. Paul's doing his best to just push through and get them to actually play something and John's just too far gone.

My theory: there's two reasons he did this. 1. He's avoidant and the last thing he's going to do is let on how bad he needs John in his life and how scared he is that if John gets back with Yoko that that'll be difficult. And 2. He couldn't live with himself if he didn't. If he'd kept it from John that Yoko wanted him back and later John cried to him about how much he missed Yoko or something? Paul can't have that.

John singing a snatch of Yesterday before a take of “Whatever gets you through the Night”??? Did either of them ever write a song where they weren't thinking about the other? Did they ever have a minute of peace without the other rattling the bars of the cage in his brain?

“Hold me Darling, come on, listen to me. I won't do you no harm.” Duh it's about Paul. Oh my gosh.

And with Bless You I'm always so torn. There are so many obvious references to Paul which the doc points out beautifully, but situationally it could also be about Yoko. Maybe it's about both of them in the same way that don't let me down is about both of them.

Anyway the cosmic visuals are gorgeous.

Why'd you have to phrase it like that though? Twice?

Hall of Fame moment. It's a high point for him career-wise and he chose to pull Paul into his spotlight. Not only to sing Paul's song, not only to name-drop him, but to publicly call him an official romantic title. Not “boyfriend” or “ex-wife” which both could've been much more mocking if that's what he was trying to do. But “fiance”. It's official and respected, but it's still got the lustful, unsettled, connotation that something like “husband” lacks.

Johann Weener, everyone. What a loser.

Everyone who still refers to Lennon Remembers like it's the fucking Bible listen to this. It doesn't go on for the next five years, let alone fifty.

John refusing to walk to blocks to sign the papers when George and Paul flew over the ocean. And only on the basis of astrology. He really didn't want the divorce. My heart aches for him. But he made his bed as they say.

I'm putting on my tinfoil hat again here, but I do just have to point out that one of John's first songs, “Hello, Little Girl,” has a line that goes, “you never seem to see me standing there”. And the earliest draft of WISHST, which was started soon after, answers that line. “I saw you standing there.” (Yes, it said you originally, not her). So maybe. Just maybe. That song wasn't just a Paul song, but a song that John knew Paul had put a message in for him. Okay, I apologize for the insanity. On another note, I do wonder if he ever found out what Paul thought of that.

Interviewer: ≈ at this point, do you like writing by yourself, or do you want to write with Paul again?≈ John: ≈well it's a bit of both. It's the same for Paul. We were talking about it a week ago. Okay, cool. So they definitely talked openly and honestly about potentially writing together again.

John, about their partnership, “There was always the feeling that someone was there if you needed it.” Paired with the gayest picture ever taken and then Paul singing “if I can do anything at all, let me help.” Thanks. I hate it.

John was so excited for New Orleans! What happened? I mean I have my theory based on May's book and the sudden shift in behavior. But it's pretty dark.

You know how crazy Paul is about John in interviews now? How he can't seem to keep John's name out of his mouth? John was worse in the seventies. He's promoting his Rock’n’Roll album, talking unprompted and romantically about how he met Paul, when the interviewer reminds him what relationship he's supposed to be romanticizing right now. So John remembers too and dedicates the album to Yoko who he's just got back together with.

Biconic quote.

Interviewer asks, after John's brought him up, if John's pleased with how well Paul's doing. John expresses his relief that Ringo has "found himself a niche" and then

I really do think that last bit sums up a big chunk of how John feels about Paul, and why he feels alright playing dirty against Paul or slagging Paul off. Why it would have been the furthest thing from his mind that Paul actually struggled or was insecure. Why Paul had to remind him, “I'm only a person like you, love.”

What an insane thing to think, let alone say. What if Julian had heard that? I'm pretty sure Julian and Paul weren't in contact, really at all, until the eighties, right? So John's doing better than he is at this point (I mean he's his dad, he should be). John is insecure about every possible thing and compares himself to Paul in every possible way.

Baby. He needed some serious help. The thing that sucks about being ahead of your time is that you also have to live in a world that's behind your needs.

And then. “There's always a friendly tv channel to turn to that's going to make you feel less alone.” I wonder if Paul “Call Me Back Again, John I know you're not that tired from the baby just let me in the fucking door” McCartney heard this? It's possible with how obsessive they were, but it's also impossible with how busy he kept himself.

Okay, here's the first story we've been missing about Paul experiencing negative emotions. And, of course, as always in this doc, it's paired perfectly with “Don't Let it Bring you Down” which is the musical mission statement of Paul's clenched-jawed smile philosophy.

"I tend to get a bit absolute in my statements." Yes, John. Yes you do. Another quote that Big Lennon fans should keep in mind.

John on the three weeks he took to decide if he wanted to continue the band after the first Hamburg trip: The others were mad because we could've been making money. Yeah, John, Paul suddenly had to work in a factory after he'd thrown away an educated, white-collar career (the first in his family) to be in your band. I'd be pissed too if you just didn't even bother to call. Anyway I just hate how casual John is about it. Someone who never had to worry about money is just never going to get that.

John doesn't even remember a ballpark number of how much they were making. Paul remembers exactly bragging to his professors that he was making fifteen a week in Hamburg. Sorry to go on and on about this right before Paris, but to me it's an important difference between them.

Anyway, the fact that Paris was more than just a vacation for them. The fact that – according to Stuart and John at least – they might not have come back. It's dizzying. They really thought about just running off together. I wonder what made them decide to come back and continue the band.

No offense if you do, but I don't personally believe in this stuff. What would the motivation have been for the tarot reader to tell him that? Either way, fuck him.

Gosh the live version of “Call Me Back Again”. You feel it, physically, how bad he wants this phonecall. And the desperation from such a successful man is fantastic. Literally, John, how did it feel to be the only man in the world that could get Paul McCartney to beg? “Pretty baby” “what can I do?” “Boohoohoo babe.” “I tried the operator, but I just can't get through.”

Reporter at the Wings over America tour: No John Lennon, no George Harrison, and no Ringo Starr, just Paul McCartney. And for everyone here tonight, that seemed to be plenty! Obviously he's loving this praise after all the negative press. Anyone would, and Paul needs it more than most people actually. But I bet part of him is like “stop. Don't say it like that, they already hate me enough as it is.”

How many times has John admitted that he finds Paul attractive? “It was no surprise, you know, when the kids – girls saw him, they go ‘ooh! Ooh!’ right away, you know?”

“I know it's true. It's all because of you.” Playing over this? Are you kidding me? Anyway I've never seen the picture version of this, so I thought I'd screenshot it.

But actually, in a way, the original written lyrics to Now and Then are less depressing than what he sang on the demo. “I know it's true, I'm still in love with you, and if I make it through, it's all because of you,” is obviously sad because they're both married to other people. But at least in that version, John's saying his own personal resilience to life's struggles comes from his relationship with Paul, which is nice. Whereas when John, who is sliding into a self-hating deep depression I'm comparing himself to Paul's phenomenal success, sings “it's all because of you” in a general sense, it almost feels like a callback to the ‘I'm shit and I couldn't do anything but be a Beatle (and ride Paul's boat)’ quote. Which is heartbreaking. I wish he could've recognized his own genius.

But yeah either way it's enough to make your heart heavy. If anyone needs a good cry, just go to the last five minutes of this. That should've been the now and then music video, but Paul's too scared of feelings. Which. You know. Considering how much it affects me, I can't even imagine how much it affects him. So he gets a pass.

“Why must we be alone? It's real love. It's real.”

#mclennon #paul mccartney #john lennon #the beatles #ringo starr #george harrison #understanding lennon mccartney #ulm

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ramhaiba · 10 days

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𝖯𝗈𝗌𝗌𝖾𝗌𝗌𝗂𝗏𝖾 (𝖸𝖺𝗇𝖽𝖾𝗋𝖾 𝖠𝗍𝗌𝗎𝗆𝗎 𝗑 𝖱𝖾𝖺𝖽𝖾𝗋)

𝒸𝒽𝒶𝓅𝓉𝑒𝓇 𝑜𝓃𝑒, 𝓇𝑒𝓋𝑒𝓃𝑔𝑒

a/n: this is a rewrite of one of my old (and incomplete...) stories! the original

chapter contains: blackmail, kita x reader (side) series contains: college au, sexual themes, violence, kidnapping, tea

MINORS DO NOT INTERACT

You hated Atsumu Miya since your freshman year of high school. You don’t think you can name one good thing about him. From his annoying voice to his stuck-up personality, you hated it all.

It wasn’t like he was your biggest fan either- you still remember his dramatic reaction when he found out you’d be going to the same college as him.

To quote him,

“Jesus Christ- you obsessed with me or something? Gotta follow me all the way to college too”

You can barely believe that you used to be his friend before high school, sharing some of your best childhood memories with the former nice boy.

Now, he’s just a scumbag who likes to go out of his way to make you miserable.

But yesterday, was the last straw…

Everyone knew you had a crush on Kita…well- everyone but Kita.

And Valentine's Day was the day you were gonna man up and finally make a move. You spent all night making chocolates for him…which turned out well- it was edible at least!

You knew that there was a big possibility that you’d mess up on your words if you verbally tried to confess to him, that’s why you settled for a love letter. You spent hours trying to write that one-page letter. There are at least twenty crumbled-up failed attempts of you trying to write a love letter. However, you settle for the best one, keeping it safely in your pocket.

Unfortunately, on the day of Valentine's Day- you had a class with Atsumu Miya. At least you also shared that class with a good friend of yours- Usagi.

You loved that girl but she was one of the girls who fanned over Atsumu. She probably gave one of the hundred Valentine’s chocolates that lay on Atsumu’s desk.

You walked over to your desk, trying to ignore Atsumu’s bragging about all the love letters he’s received. You settle the chocolates that you made for Kita on your desk, praying that they won’t melt before you give them to him.

“Holy shit what’s that?” Atsumu asked, voice annoying as always, propping his hands on your desk, and leaning over.

“None of your business” you responded, trying to move the chocolates away from him.

“She’s going confess to Kita!” Usagi spoke up, the chance to talk to Atsumu being too exciting for her to remain quiet.

“Usagi!” you yelled, turning your head to look at the embarrassed girl. “S-sorry it just came out” she mumbled.

Your attention fell back to Atsumu as you heard him laugh.

“Oh man- I feel so bad for Kita, he’s going to have the ugliest girl on campus confess to him? Talk about social embarrassment am I right?” Atsumu teased, wiping away a tear from laughter.

“Fuck off for once, Atsumu” you scoffed. Atsumu paused his laughter, eyes narrowing as he looked at your pockets. “What you got in there?” he questioned.

“Nothing that concerns you” you replied, shoving your hands into your pockets, probably crumbling the love letter.

“Well good luck on your little confession, Y/n. You’re gonna need it” Atsumu commented, a sinister smile on his lips as he walked away.

God- what was he planning?

---

During lunch, you were walking to your usual table, holding your tray of food in your hand. Just in a few hours, you’ll be confessing to Kita and god you’re nervous. You keep repeating the same phrase in your head,

The worst thing that can happen is that he says no.

The worst thing that can happen is that he sa-

Suddenly, you felt a strong force bump into you, almost everything that was peacefully lying on your tray spilling onto your shirt, hissing in the uncomfortable feeling of your drink drenching your shirt. You looked up to see that Atsumu was the one responsible for the mess.

“Asshole, watch where you’re going” you huffed, trying to wipe away the food on your shirt.

“Wow, I am just so sorry, Y/n” Atsumu commented, giving you a passive-aggressive smile as he tried to help you clean off your shirt.

“God- I hate you” you replied, slapping his hand away as you stormed away.

Thank god, your dorm wasn’t too far away- however, you did miss your next class because of your sudden need to change your shirt and shower.

----

The clock struck three- it was finally volleyball practice..AKA the time that you’d be confessing your feelings. You stood in front of the gymnasium, chocolates in one hand, the other reaching into your pocket for the letter

Wh-where is it?

You panicked feeling your empty pocket. Then you heard Atsumu’s voice in the gymnasium, causing you to slowly open the door, and take a peak.

“Kita, I’m not sure where to start with this letter. There are just so many things I feel for you. Every time I learn more about you- you just manage to make me fall deeper for you. I just get so nervous when I’m around you but excited at the same time. Is this what love is? And I really hope somewhere in your heart you-

Jesus Christ! this is the comedic goal” Atsumu burst into laughter, holding a letter in his hand that he seemed to be reciting. You felt your heart stop, your blood going cold as you listened to all the laughter in the gym.

Everyone was laughing at you stupid- stupid letter, well...everyone but Kita.

“Who wrote the letter?” you heard Suna asked Atsumu.

Atsumu looked around the gym, finally making eye contact with you through the gap between the door,

“Oh, don’t worry ‘bout that, it’s ain't anyone important” Atsumu responded, a smile across his face as he crumbled the paper before throwing it into a trash can.

----

You ran- you ran all the way back to your dorm room, the tears in your eyes making it hard to see as you crashed on your bed, cursing out Atsumu through the pillow shoved in your face.

The chocolates you made for Kita were crushed and thrown out in your trash can.

It wasn’t long til your sadness morphed into fiery unstoppable rage.

You needed revenge- so you came up with the perfect plan.

Unlike most students on campus, Atsumu and Osamu lived in a house nearby- god they were lucky to have rich parents.

You showed up in front of their house night- it was so late at night that the whole neighborhood was silent. In your hands was a crowbar-

You thought to yourself, holy fuck this is crazy. But you were so fucking exhausted from all the harassment Atsumu has given to you for years. You had to do this. So you sneaked into their garage, prying it open with a crowbar.

You knew there was only one thing that Atsumu loved almost as much as he loved himself.

That damn stupid orange car he got for his birthday.

You remember the countless times when he would drive that expensive car around your house his deafening trashy music blasting from his car. The painful memories of the gas from his car would blow into your face and give you a nasty cough.

You shoved your hands into your pockets, taking out your silver key to your dorm room.

You hovered your key in front of the door of his car, hands shaking.

“Fuck it” you mumbled, dragging your key across the orange vehicle, leaving a white line on the paint.

It made your anger and sadness disappear…for a second.

You were painting his car with the scratches done by your trustworthy key for at least ten minutes, getting lost in high of your revenge.

The sound of footsteps descending downstairs interrupted your high, causing you to dash out of the garage, slamming the door behind you, hiding behind a tree as you heard

"WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED TO MY BABY"

Atsumu’s response causes you to laugh back home. Who cares about forgiveness? Revenge is truly the best feeling in the world.

---

You were discussing yesterday’s event with Usagi- you told her almost everything besides… your very illegal form of revenge.

“My beloved, Atsumu did what?” she cried in disbelief. “You mean that monster, Atsumu?” you corrected her.

“I’m sorry that happened, are you okay?” she asked. “Oh, I am “ you replied, smiling while thinking of the event from last night.

“Y/n.”

You turned your head, expecting Atsumu who came to annoy you…instead, it was Kita. “I’m sorry if you’re busy but may I talk to you for a moment?” Kita politely asked. You glanced back at an eager Usagi who was waving you off to shut up and go with him.

“Y-yeah, sure” you replied to Kita.

Kita held your hand as he led you to a more secluded part of campus, unaware that you were screaming in your head at the gesture.

“What did you want to talk to me about?” you asked, praying to god he didn’t find out it was you to write that embarrassing letter.

“Well, I didn’t see you yesterday. So I didn’t have the opportunity to give you this” Kita responded, opening his bookbag, gently taking out a piece of chocolate wrapped in a pink transparent bag.

I-is this what you think it is? Is this a confessio-

“Y/n, I wanted to tell you that-”Kita said, snapping you out of your flustered thoughts.

“Oh, Y/n, I found you!” Atsumu sang, waving his hand as he ran up to you. You cringed at the feeling of Atsumu wrapping his arm around your shoulder, “Kita, I need to steal sweet Y/n for a moment. It’s important” Atsumu confessed.

“If it’s important then I suppose it’d be selfish for me to say no” Kita responded. “Great, she will be back in a flash” Atsumu beamed, tugging you away to a different section of campus.

“What the fuck is wrong with you? Couldn’t you see I was busy” you huffed.

“There is nothing more important than spending time with me” Atsumu replied. “You’re such a narcissist” you insulted.

“And you, sweetheart, are a car wrecker,” Atsumu remarked, stepping closer to you with every word, arms crossed to emphasize his biceps.

“What? I don’t know what you’re talking about” You laughed in disbelief, trying to act dumb.

“Ain’t I the luckiest man in the world to have security cameras?” Atsumu confessed, a smile on his lips as he waved his phone, a video of you committing the crime on the screen.

Fuck-fuck- Fuck you’re so screwed. You’re going to get charged with trespassing and Destruction of property. You’re so going to get kicked out of school.

“W-why haven’t you shown this to the police already” you stuttered, voice cracking, hands shaking at your side.

“I wanted to give ya a better option” Atsumu hummed. “What are you trying to say” you replied.

“You’re going to be my sweet girlfriend for a month”

“What? You’re not serious. You hate me like I hate you” you scoffed in disbelief. “Are you going to question me or be a smart girl and take what I’m offering?” Atsumu uttered, leaning over to your ear, his breath heating your neck.

“Only for a month?” you repeated, hands forming a fist to your side, sucking up your pride.

“Only for a month” Atsumu confirmed, pulling away to show you his smile. “Fine” you huffed.

---

You walked back to Kita, still shaken up from what had just occurred. “Y/n, are you okay? You look worried” Kita questioned, reaching over to hold your hand in his.

“Yeah, I’m fine. You wanted to tell me something?” you laughed away his concerns. Kita adverted his eyes, a faint red appearing on his cheeks as his lips turned into a subtle smile,

“I just wanted to know if you had feelings for me…because I admire you. I want to be with you. If you’ll allow me to” Kita confesses, finally having the courage to look back at you.

You couldn’t believe it, your heart was about to bounce out of your chest until you saw the demon- Atsumu Miya behind Kita,

“Reject him. “ he mouthed.

Why couldn’t Kita confess next month?

#yandere x reader #miya atsumu #atsumu x reader #yandere haikyuu x reader #yandere haikyuu #yandere atsumu #atsumu miya x reader #yandere atsumu miya x reader

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haknom · 1 year

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close call — park jay

pairing: bsf!jay x gn!reader

synopsis: having feelings for your bestfriend is quite hard. especially when he almost found out about it.

note: the way these images don’t match I gave up on finding some. but happy birthday to jay!! i was supposed to post this last night but fell asleep while proofreading LMAO // this is like badly written (i think idk)

warnings: jay’s a tease, lmk if i missed anything! wordcount: 840 words (lol..)

There were other students running around and chasing each other near the field as you pressed your back against the brick wall of the school’s courtyard. You plucked the petals off the flower you held while repeating the same two sentences over and over again, ‘I like him’ and ‘I don’t like him and never will because he’s only my bestfriend from kindergarten. And it would be weird if I had feelings for him because it could possibly ruin our friendship.’ Or in other words, ‘I don’t like him.’

Clearly, you were in denial. Your bestfriend of 12 years, Park Jay, has affected your heart in a way you’ve never felt before. Whenever he was around you, your heart rate would rise enormously and you could even feel your face heat up. On rare occasions, your palms would become sweaty and you’d fumble over your words. It was embarrassing.

He picked up on your weird change in personality but never questioned you about anything but there were some moments where he’d ask if you were okay, and of course, you’d lie saying yes. But at the same time, you weren’t sure if you were lying and also had no clue as to why you were acting like that around him until your friend told you, “You like him,” her words replayed in your head before plucking another petal hoping that your final results wasn’t what she was said.

You inhaled deeply, exhaling a second after, and began your plucking once again. “Okay, 47th flower! Please don’t give me the same results as before…” You pleaded to the flower which didn’t give you a response back.

“I like him,” you picked the first petal while mumbling to the point where you couldn’t even hear your own voice. It was an embarrassing phrase to say especially when it was about your bestfriend, but for others probably not.

You plucked at the flower a few more times before throwing its stem to the ground. “Gosh!” you exclaimed and stomped on the stem out of frustration. You weren’t supposed to receive this answer once again. At this point, maybe it was the truth. Judging by how you felt around him everyone would label it as love, right?

“There’s no way I like him! Matter of fact, I hate him. He’s such a tease and is also annoying! But then again he’s a great person…” You said while clawing at your scalp tensely before relaxing at your last words. You gained weird and concerned stares from a few students who walked passed without you noticing but that didn’t bother you.

What really bothered you was the familiar fragrance that surrounded the area you stood in during your small tantrum and made your heart race. “What’s up with you?” A voice from behind called out causing you to hastily turn around and be met with your bestfriend, Jay. The boy you most likely have feelings for.

“Oh! Nothing,” you shrugged in an attempt to erase the previous scene from your memory. “That doesn’t seem like nothing… Who were you, well, yelling about?” He pressed his hand against the brick wall with an intrigued gaze. “Hey! Is it possible that you like someone!” He said while emphasizing the word ‘you’ and bringing his face slightly closer to yours. “No! I don’t like anyone—wait what’s that supposed to mean?!” You exclaimed as he laughed at your realization.

In return, you lightly punched his stomach, leaving him in slight pain. “What was that for?!” He questioned with a hand over the injured area. “You were clearly making fun of me! Plus, it wasn’t even that hard! You can deal with it,” you said as he rolled his eyes and you crossed your arms.

“Who’s this lucky boy? Is it me?” He teased once more with the corners of his lips upturned into a small smile. “You wish it was!” You blurted while trying to keep your composure but this time he didn’t laugh like usual. Instead, he leaned in a bit more to the point where your faces were approximately 10 cm’s apart. “And if I did?” He asked while tilting his head lightly.

His gaze was strong and there was no signs of unseriousness. There was a possibility he was being for real or was just very good at acting but you didn’t know which to believe. Out of instinct you pulled a dumb move and ended the moment in a split second, “No chances,” you said, turned on your pivot foot, walked away from the boy as he trailed behind you.

“Then who is it!” He said, hoping to get something out of you this time but you shook your head. “Just forget about it! It was a silly game.” You exclaimed in an attempt to switch the topic. “Hm, fine…” He mumbled as you sighed out of relief. He began talking about a new song he’s recently discovered as you tried to stay put and not slip up.

It was a close call, that’s for sure.

PERM TAGLIST: @soov @redm4ri @ox1-lovesick @urszn @feeeli @taejays @hanniluvi @dakkisz @dimplewonie @ddeonudepressions @xiaoderrrr @ja4hyvn @mmaplepastries @essmarye @w3bqrl @jennaissantes @yenqa @yeokii

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electrificata · 2 months

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here are my house observations, im in season 3

some of the shit house says to foreman is genuinely unforgivable

foreman as a character i generally like. omar epps is giving a good performance of an even-keeled-but-not-without-effort kind of guy, i do like the plotline of a guy who came to learn from an expert whos the worst guy in the world and trying to figure out how to do the same thing without being the worst guy in the world. i also think they way they keep him out of hospital love triangles is racist, foreman is not currently hot but could be with 15% more attention from the writers room.

really sexist as a general rule. i have not encountered the idea of "jailbait" this much in literal years.

hipster racism. its the 2000s. funny to talk abt this because "hipsters" were younger at this point and the character of house is, im assuming, in his mid 40s at the start of the show, but thats the general logic that seems to be on display. "well you know that he's a good guy so its ironic and funny that he's threatening to use the n word as a joke."

a) stupid logic to begin with, doing something ironically is also just doing it, b) doesnt even work on its own terms here because house is widely acknowledged to be an awful person in the context. the entire show is built around the question "how much deliberately annoying, dangerous bullshit will we endure from this dickhead to maintain access to his unique skillset"

i still dont "get" house/wilson. like i do see it, like i can see that theyre a little obsessed with each other and they have a fun mutually manipulative dynamic, and they make sense as foils (guy who's self-consciously awful and often ends up doing noble things accidentally/guy who's self-consciously noble and often deliberately does awful things). but i cannot feel myself going insane about it. if anything i like him better with cuddy

cuddy really really hot. really really really hot. cuddy.

so like yeah i see house/wilson im just not going insane about it the way i thought i might. altho tbh it took a global pandemic and a extended, byzantine renaissance of tumblrina supernatural scholarship to make me have a destiel spiral. i need infrastructure for these things.

cameron's character is such an old school token girl character. i hate how they treat her "niceness" almost as much as i hate how they treat her crush on house.

a better show (written by me) would have some more cuddy and foreman "managing" house plotlines (foreman being a protege allows focus on the legacy of house's medicine, how to replicate it, how to contain damage), probably give him some of the cuddy and wilson time. the three of them together would be good i could do that.

cuddy/foreman. hm. in the remake.

like, i do get how this happened. house is troubled in a durable, interesting way. the writing is good enough to support his layers, the way his snap-judgement psychoanalysis of everyone he meets curls back around to shine a light on his own issues. good balance of competence and patheticness. laurie is giving a masterclass in the niche field of "british comedian comes to us tv drama, grows some stubble, becomes a sex symbol." i read an old review that referred to his "sourpuss charisma" i really like that turn of phrase.

(i was also into josh on the west wing when i watched that last year, i have a type i love antagonism. no im not dating anyone right now, who wants to take me for a candlelit dinner and tell me i smell good and my voice is sexy) (you cant just compliment me, ill be bored or uncomfortable, you have to bury it in a disagreement and make it clear youre kind of mad that youre into me)

that said i think the show kind of misunderstands house's sex appeal. it feels very written-by-men. women characters throw themselves at house in a porny kind of take-me-now way. in my observations guys who are arent traditionally hot but attractive in this antagonistic, talky was dont really get that kind of treatment, but they do get the main cast wilson/cuddy/cameron "i hate this guy but im obsessed with him and i will never make a move or i will and itll go badly" kind of stuff. my phantom house reboot does have cameron and house hook up and its a really mean and destructive fwb thing with like 4 false endings. does this make sense.

right now im in the middle of the plotline where leighton meester plays a 17 yr old girl stalking house because shes so in love. like thats not the vibe. at least from what ive seen. im not omniscient.

lol it turns out she has a spore makign her hypersexual lolllll i literally have this on in the background rn ok i take some of this back.

whenever i mention to someone im watching house theyll recount to me the plot of the one episode they can remember and it always sounds insane and its never made up.

"the one with the intersex teen model who fucks her dad to manipulate him and has testicular cancer" like yeah. yeah thats real. if you talked to me 3 weeks ago thatd be the one i recounted to you.

yes house does leer at her in that episode and its treated as logical and normal for a 45 year old man.

i hate chase, he's awful but boring.

im curious how long im gonna keep watching this, i know the later seasons get kind of soapy plotwise and i dont know if thats what i want out of this

#god this got long.

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wheels-of-despair · 1 year

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Ralph Penbury (Timewasters) Masterlist

Worth It

Worth It began as a Valentine's Day one-shot, then blossomed into a three-shot, and now there are officially twenty chapters in the Worth It-verse. This story takes place a little before the Timewasters that we know and love. (Thus thwarting Ralph's heartbreak and demise. Not even a little bit sorry.) Ralph is in his early 20s, and the female reader who's going to give him the love and affection that he deserves is about a year older and unnamed. (No Y/N, just terms of endearment.) Please read the announcement, and then... enjoy!

*Read This Important Series Announcement Before Proceeding!*

Chapter 1 - The Dance Your mother forces you to go to a Valentine's Day dance with a dull date, but Ralph manages to make your night worthwhile.

Chapter 2 - The Bridge Ralph waits for you on the bridge the next day. To say he's nervous would be an understatement.

Chapter 3 - My Good Friend Mary Ralph brings you a present that's also a prop in your masterful plan to keep your mother in the dark.

Chapter 4 - The Most Ordinary Girl in the World Even though you hate shopping, you decide it's time to go see a lady about a dress or twelve.

Chapter 5 - There Is Nothing Wrong With You You and Ralph have a heart-to-heart after the shopping incident.

Chapter 6 - A Great Deal of Bravery A simple act breaks Ralph's brain. A simple phrase breaks yours.

Chapter 7 - One Hundred Kisses Ralph is upset, but luckily, you know one hundred ways to make him better.

Chapter 8 - Are You Still With Me, Ralph? Ralph is down with a cold, but his favorite nurse comes to take care of him.

Chapter 9 - Seven Dreadful Days Ralph has to go away for a few days, and neither of you are sure you'll survive your time apart.

Chapter 10 - Go Easy On Those Pastries Ralph comes home, but your reunion does not go as planned.

Chapter 11 - Questioning Miracles Your secret isn't a secret anymore. Time to face the music.

Chapter 12 - Do You Think He's Still Alive? Ralph meets your father, and you make a decision about your future together.

Chapter 13 - Try Not to Get Trampled Easter picnics aren't generally Ralph's idea of a good time, but if you're there, it can't be but so bad… right?

Chapter 14 - Just the Way You Are Ralph needs some reassurance. You need an axe.

Chapter 15 - All I Want Is You Planning a wedding with two overbearing mothers. What could possibly go wrong?

Chapter 16 - Victoria and I Are Having a Party You're invited to a Penbury Party. Try not to panic.

Chapter 17 - I Think We Should Try That Again So an introvert walks into a crowded Penbury Party…

Chapter 18 - The Feeling Is Mutual Shopping for a wedding dress is so unbearable, you and Ralph decide to do something desperate.

Chapter 19 - Every Single Room What comes after a wedding?

Chapter 20 - Forty-Four Days All good things must come to an end… right?

Worth It: The Honeymoon (Blurbs)

What did Mr. and Mrs. Penbury do during that long honeymoon?

Always Worth It

You didn't think you'd seen the last of the Penburys, did you?

The Other Dance A flashback to Ralph and the future Mrs. Penbury's first kiss at the Christmas Ball.

Christmas in July Mr. and Mrs. Penbury get another chance at a perfect kiss under the mistletoe at an unexpected time of the year.

I Ralph You Ralph learns a hip new word he's not too fond of. His lovely wife must act fast and help him un-learn it.

Escape from Penbury Manor Mr. and Mrs. Penbury attend a Halloween party, but when the sun goes down, it's not all fun and games for the happy couple.

What the Hell is Compressed Yeast? Ralph wakes up in the middle of the night, and you're not next to him like you should be. Where are you, Mrs. Penbury?

Made for This Ralph needs a little reassurance about his impending fatherhood. You're more than happy to give it.

Keeping Us Awake You and Ralph receive a pair of tickets to the Nutcracker Ballet as a Christmas gift, an event neither of you really wants to attend... how ever will you stay awake through such a spectacle?

The Most Amazing Wife in the World Ralph is having a rough day, but his amazing wife knows exactly how to turn things around.

A Valentine's Day Surprise It's not really Valentine's Day without a dance with your one and only, is it? (Happy 1st Anniversary to Worth It!)

Our Sweet Baby Mary First comes love, then comes marriage, then comes the Penburys with a... well, you know the rest. (Bonus: There's Something About Mary)

Blurbs Based on Emojis

🥶 - Snow Day 🍆 - Trying New Things 🍫 - One of Everything 💋 - Marking Your Territory

Post-Series Stuff

Thank You for Reading Goodbye Forever? That One Announcement Everyone Ignores

Not Worth It (Other Stuff)

Ralph Deserves a Present Ralph goes snooping and gets an early Christmas present. (Christmas Fluff, but make it suggestive)

Ralphtanic A multi-chapter Worth It AU set on the Titanic!

#writings of despair #masterlist #ralph penbury #ralph timewasters #ralph is worth it

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eternal-armin · 1 year

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ii. SO, HOW SHOULD i begin this?

part two woo. hopefully i'll be able to catch up on this and maybe publish some other stuff now that i'm home a lot more often (yay pain and mobility issues), maybe some arcane stuff since that would be fun, branching out into my last hyperfixation again lol. i've proofread so it should be good :>

pairing : five hargreeves x male/transmasc reader [he/him pronouns]

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where : after trying and sort of succeeding to get on the hargreeves' good side, five and [y/n] try rationalizing the situation and figuring out something, anything, to do about it.

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warnings : mentions of trauma, threats [of physical violence and murder], reader is still totally exhausted because how could he not be, depression, dissociation, pain, bits of shouting, not necessarily a warning but viktor is always viktor in the multiverse because the boy deserves it okay, existentialism, philosophical nihilism, family issues.

five adjusted his clothes in the mirror. although he wouldn't be able to have a proper retirement, he could look like a retired old man, couldn't he? who would've thought that someone could get so excited for beiges and tans. he got an amused look of subtle approval from you. beyond that, it wasn't very hard to look past your façade if he was being honest, you looked hesitant; though could he blame you? there were probably millions of worlds where his family fucked you over or just straight-up killed you. and yet, you also looked too tired to care. he couldn't blame you for that, either.

he touched your shoulder again. in a flit of light, which once again made you feel horribly nauseated and woozy, you were downstairs. surprised exclamations roused from his family.

"anyone know where vanya and allison are?" five asked, glancing with narrowed eyes across the lacking table.

"nope." and after that short reply diego went back to finishing off his meal—for someone who often scarfed his meals down, he seemed to be taking his sweet time. either that or your fun conversation with five had not taken as long as you'd thought; either possibility was equally likely at this point, really.

"nuh-uh... sorry."

"not a clue, unfortunately. something wrong, tiny dancer?" klaus asked.

"well, we have a new problem."

"who's this guy?" luther pointed at you wish his thumb, not caring to cover his mouth; your nausea was worsened to see someone talking whilst eating. diego looked at you then, and you hated how his glare bore straight through your soul. he really, really didn't seem to appreciate your presence. how both of them could so willingly ignore the phrase 'we have a problem,' especially from five, was unknown to you.

"this is [y/n]. he's one of the sparrows."

you waved once to everyone. whether the sluggishness of the motion, and the weak smile which accompanied it, was due to shyness or exhaustion was incredibly murky and unclear.

"so now we're getting all buddy-buddy with the enemy? do you know how stupid that is?"

"i'm sorry, diego, did you not hear me say that we have a problem?"

"well, you say that a lot, little brother!" klaus leaned forward to see you clearer, giving you a smile. it didn't really placate your anxieties or your strong desire to run, however it was appreciated. he waved, and you again waved back politely, still feeling very... guilty for your earlier flub. it wasn't a new thing, either, and that made you feel even worse. "hello, little enemy! how do you look so young? do you use those, like, '10 years younger' face creams? i didn't know they worked that well—"

"that is not a relevant question, klaus, now can someone please tell me where allison and vanya are?"

you cleared your throat slightly. "vanya is most likely getting a haircut. allison is trying to get to claire, but she's... not going to find her." it left a bitter taste in your mouth to refer to viktor in such a disrespectful way, but you couldn't take that from him. upon receiving suspicious stares from the younger hargreeves brothers, you mumbled a quiet "maybe."

"mind telling us what the hell is going on before i deck this mini-muffin across the lobby?"

"hey, hey, do not use mini-muffin as an insult! those are beautiful things, there's nothing better than mini-muffins when you're on a bender at, like, three in the morning!" klaus got a confused and heavily judgmental look in return for that... beautiful insight.

"[y/n] has the ability to see all other timelines, so he can usually find out the most probable events. okay? good. now i need to find allison, so can one of you fetch vanya, please?"

"no, not good, and no thanks! after all we've gone through, we deserve a proper explanation!" klaus objected. after a second or two of awkward silence, and a scowling glare from five, he gave in with a curt sigh. it sounded more like a groan. the brothers looked at you; klaus was the only one to seem patient, showing the approval of a parent understanding a kid's fear of giving a speech; luther stared at you with a puzzling mix of intrigue and subtle impatience; and diego stared at you with a raised eyebrow, leaning his head in slightly as if to say 'i'm waiting.' five's glare, although still quite characteristic, was a bit softer when aimed at you. you could never feel more put on the spot.

"you've gotta say something, little man, we can't read your mind," klaus encouraged.

"well, uh... i don't know exactly what it is yet, but something is wrong."

"aren't you omniscient or some shit? you can see literally every reality!"

the shouting scared you quite a bit and certainly made your headache worse. you put one of your hands to your head, mumbling, wishing you could just get some painkillers. if only five had given them back.

"don't shout, for fuck's sake," five grumbled, annoyed in his own right.

"i'm not omniscient. if no other worlds know something, then i can't, and... no other world knows yet. but something is wrong." your quiet voice was juxtaposed to diego's, still loud and stubborn like back in the academy. around 79.4 percent of every single alternate world which had diego in it found him like this, angry and short-tempered; it was very interesting. "you aren't supposed to be here. you guys, as you are, don't exist here. i don't think reality appreciates you showing up all of a sudden. and if versions of yourselves already exist in this world, then something will need to... iron out the wrinkles, i guess." you pursed your lips for a second. "not to be too brash or anything, but, to really, really dumb it down, you're a mis—you're mistakes."

"seriously? five, i thought you said that this timeline would be safe to stay in." luther looked like a scolded puppy. you felt bad. he was far too sweet—naive? yes, naive—for this kind of life.

"yes, that's what i thought, but second opinions are pretty valuable in my line of expertise. turns out it was sorely needed." his brows pricked up a few times while he spoke. "but, like you said before, it may be a problem we can solve."

diego remained, unsurprisingly, unswayed. "you better not be including this wad of chewed gum in that 'we,' five."

"what is with you and insulting him? he wants to help. jesus christ."

"last time i checked, his entire family just kicked our asses out of our own house, i have a right to be pissed, and he's lucky i'm in no killing mood."

"i don't agree that he should be killed," luther began in solidarity, "but we have a reason not to trust him, right?"

you took a little breath and exhaled it in a quiet sigh. "i know my family can be... extreme. and bad sometimes. trust me. and i totally understand how you can be angry with them and with me and think that i'm not honest. but i never hurt anyone, and i want to help you guys. you're eccentric yourselves, but usually you're good people. you're, like, an actual family," you added, trailing off, "not a group forced to stay together for monetary gain."

five squinted at you slightly. was that one of the reasons you chose not to grow up? you couldn't be associated with the sparrows if you were half their age. throw on a pair of sunglasses and nobody could recognize you.

jeez. didn't that sound nice.

"you guys really deserve a place to rest. a stable place to live, even. and if we can figure this out, then maybe you won't have to live in constant fear of coming into contact with your doppelganger or something. live, like, normal lives. as normal as they can be, anyway."

diego, much to your surprise, seemed to listen to what you were saying. sure, he still looked quite ticked-off and impatient, but you couldn't really ask for too much from him, could you?

"and you're sure that this is a problem we can actually solve? for good?"

"i'm not exactly sure what the problem even is yet. all i know is that something is wrong. but every problem has a solution, even if it seems impossible sometimes." there was a twinge of sage, melancholic hopelessness somewhere in there, some subtle disbelief. "five is quite the expert in timelines and time travel-related problems and paradoxes, and i'm an expert in alternate realities and manipulating reality itself. if anyone can figure it out, i'm sure we can. and i have no doubt that all of you will also play large parts."

luther's face was screwed into an expression of brazen confusion. "so... we're, like, completely blind, and need to fight an enemy we know absolutely nothing about."

"pretty much," you mumbled.

"surprisingly poetic way to put that, luther, i'm impressed," five mused rather sarcastically. "unfortunately, however, it seems we're gonna have to do something terrible and unprecedented." perhaps for dramatic effect, perhaps to quell his own annoyances, he paused and sighed out a breath. "we're going to have to work together." he did not need to specify the parties specified in 'together.'

"well, personally, i think this is a splendid idea. perfect opportunity for family bonding, i'd say! we're surrounded by decent chinese food and competent beds and cable television. decent music, too! and diego can finally figure out some self-discipline by not constantly threatening to kill [y/n]! marvelous idea little ones." admittedly, klaus's unique way of talking and gesturing was quite calming to you. you were very grateful for him. oddly enough—maybe you should've stopped saying that when it came to the umbrellas—klaus seemed to be that pillar of tranquility for you. viktor as well.

"calm down, calm down. you know that he won't turn against us or whatever? you're sure?"

the question was directed at five but you answered for him. "i'm not strong and i've never been in good health. even christopher, without his powers, would be better at fighting you than i would."

"the fucking cube?" you nodded. he plastered a grin over a pouting scowl. he sighed, giving into the plan. perhaps some remaining distrust still lingered, however, he could deal with it. "we've gotta clue allison and vanya in now. i'll go get vanya."

"finally," five huffed, shaking his head. "i'm going to find allison. you said she's going to try and find claire? i'll go to her old house." and then, the next second, he was gone. a few seconds of... incredibly awkward silence passed, where luther was staring at you whole-heartedly.

"go on and take a seat, young whipper-snapper. do you have any dietary restrictions? or allergies? we've probably got something here you can eat, if you want."

you had asked to walk back home with five.

"why with me?" "it's a little bit selfish, but i really don't want to be alone right now, and you're the number one person i trust right now." "flattering," he muttered. "then why walk?" "i think better when i walk."

admittedly, walking was taxing for you right now, so it may not have been your brightest idea, but after this entire day you needed a nice break; the picturesque city sunset was nice, the breeze was subtle and sweet, and it smelled like food out there on the streets. viktor had offered to talk with marcus and try to make a deal; you'd asked him to be very, very careful. "i don't know if purposely seeking out the anomaly would be more effective, or if allowing it to reveal itself would be better. maybe we should seek it out."

five nodded slightly. "allowing it to reveal itself could mean that it becomes too powerful to stop."

"that's kind of what i was thinking. we don't know how it would reveal itself. what if it destroys something, or changes something? what if it hurts people?" your voice was quieter with that last proposition. it was the worst possible option in your mind; buildings could be rebuilt. changes could be undone, with enough time and patience. but people could not be undamaged, and they could not be brought back to life.

well, not permanently, anyway.

five's pace slowed a bit and he peered at you, strangely, for a moment. you avoided his eyes.

"surprisingly enough, i don't think this is the... worst outcome." "forgive me but i don't really believe you. we've got jack all on either side. essentially, we're alone." "you're used to it, five." "hmph. and you aren't?" "not in this way, i guess." there was more he wanted to say but you would not give him the opportunity to dig too deep. "there are worlds where your family is on board. trusts me, even, after some convincing. and there are also some where we narrow the options down. i'd love to be in one of those. but at least we aren't at each other's throats again, or diego's choking me to death." your voice soured. if you got too close, you could feel that pain. there your mind went then, trying to save your other selves out of some ethereal desperation you could never claw yourself away from.

"ow!" you hissed, clapping a hand to your neck where it had stung, sharp and sudden. "what was that?"

"you were seriously so spaced out you didn't see me?" five asked, though it barely sounded like a question. he sounded just barely concerned. you had looked like a glove without a hand. "jeez," he scoffed, shaking his head. "did you see anything helpful, at least? anything at all?"

your mind was still seared and shattered across uncountable realities and he could see that struggle to ground in your eyes. hear it in your breath. you had little mental fortitude left to respond. "sorry? can you repeat that?"

five didn't roll his eyes. unfortunately, he knew dissociation. he carefully took your hands in his, rubbing your knuckles like he'd seen you do before, and that seemed to give you... some amount of usable energy. it was also sort of difficult not to notice him, of all people, doing it, even while he sported an expression of general distaste for the situation; you couldn't tell if it was falsified or not. slowly, you were returning to your body, and it felt heavier than ever before. "what did you see?" he repeated, just as you asked, meticulously annunciating each word and using a decent pace.

you nodded slightly. "i saw a few other timelines. less fortunate ones." you didn't need to elaborate for five to understand what you were referring to. the broad strokes, anyway. "nothing really useful, though," you added after a second in total defeat.

"shit. well, that's alright." and though it clearly wasn't, you didn't say anything.

"how long have we been standing here?"

"... a minute or two."

"oh, great," you mumbled, shaking your head to yourself. your record was around two hours, sure, but it still sucked. "the... we should seek it out."

"wow. you remembered."

"we were having the same conversation a whole lot. given i was still alive and actually grew to trust you." it was a half-joke but it succeeded in getting a bare grin out of five. "we can't risk hurting other people."

"or destroying something," five added.

"or destroying something," you agreed, then furrowing your brow slightly. a cafe nearby was playing pleasant music; that was something keeping you tethered to this world in particular, as if five wasn't enough, but even he was quiet sometimes. "the only problem is we don't know where it is."

"or what it looks like. if it even looks like something at all. it could very well be invisible or incomprehensible." he scowled for a second, though not out of irritation, thinking rather loudly to himself. "we should start where we appeared, i think." you nodded in agreement. "if your... 'family' decides to work with us, all of us, then we can search a whole lot more. but we should get the basics out of the way."

"the beginning is always the most logical place to start."

"quaint way to put it, did you write the sound of music in another universe?"

"what part about 'literally any possible, feasible universe' do you not understand?" you joked, managing a small smile of your own, and five would be lying if he said he didn't feel a little bit relieved to see you humoring yourself again.

"i deserve that." he paused for a second. "i know you said that walking helps you think, and you definitely need to do that more, but you look like a dead man standing right now. i'd rather just drop you off at the academy and get back to my own family. are you okay to teleport?" you did not respond at first, taking careful account of how you felt and how you may feel after. eventually, and rather subtly, you nodded.

"my room is klaus's old room back in your universe."

"wow, that... makes it easier. safer, probably." that was the closest you were going to get to 'thank you' so you took it. you shut your eyes tight and breathed deep through that half-second nausea-bomb. you were happy to see your room when you opened your eyes; smelling like home, looking like home, feeling like pure comfort. five glanced about your room. somehow it looked exactly like what he expected from you, which was a compliment. it was cozy. well-lived—especially the bed. there were many blankets and pillows and a few stuffed animals, unmade, probably because you barely left it. he couldn't blame you, either.

looking at you, you seemed totally relieved and excited to be back home.

"are you going to let go of my hands now?"

five stiffened for a second, mumbling a hushed apology before letting go, shoving his hands in his pockets. you couldn't help but grin a little, tiredly, and he scoffed when he saw it. "don't look at me like that. i was helping you ground, since you evidently can't do it yourself sometimes." not that he could blame you, really. he couldn't imagine what it would be like to be... you.

you ignored the jab. "i'm surprised you're willing to wait to take care of this," you mumbled, hanging up your scarf and sweater, lazily rifling through your dresser to find something decently comfortable to pass out in. "you always insisted on getting things done quick. if not immediately."

"i'm desperate for one damn moment of peace. the world isn't being decimated just yet. i just want to sleep decently for once."

you smiled slightly. no one could work while exhausted, especially not when it came to your quandary. "go on and sleep then. i'll meet you at the obsidian again tomorrow."

"yeah. oh, uh, just remembered something. close your eyes for a few seconds."

"why?"

"just do it."

you scoffed, though without any sort of animosity or annoyance, shutting your eyes tight like he told you to. you heard the familiar sound of his blinking once, twice. "alright. you can look. here." he held out to you your bottle of painkillers. "nearly forgot to give them back."

"oh, sh—thank you." the relief on your face was quite plain and sort of comforting as well. he mustered a slight hum in response.

"good night."

"night, five. sleep well."

"hmph. we'll see."

#number five #five x you #five hargreeves x you #five hargreeves x reader #five hargreaves x reader #five hargreeves #five x y/n #five x male reader #tua x reader #tua x male reader #tua x y/n #tua x you #the umbrella academy s3 #the umbrella academy x reader #the umbrella academy x male reader #the umbrella academy #tua fanfic #tua netflix

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dejwrites · 2 years

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❪ ♡ ❫ ─── ⠀ ⠀⠀ one last night ⠀ 〳 ⠀ s.kogami ‵

❪ ♡ ❫ ─── ( synopsis ) kogami makes one last stop before skipping town.

♡ ˙ ˖ ✧ — tw: female reader, female anatomy described, psycho pass spoilers included, best friend to lovers trope with a hint of unrequited lovers trope, flashbacks is in italics, two idiots that don't want to admit they like each other, soft!kogami yay, mentions of reader being a teacher, mentions of that three word eight-letter phrase, this is not my best work but i like it ok, wc: 4k, smut warnings include — missionary position, usage of spit, soft smut, no roughness is included in this, straight love making my lovelies

YOUR MOTHER ALWAYS TOLD YOU THAT LOVE IS SUCH A STRANGE FEELING. You’ll know when you’re in love. It’s that strange feeling of butterflies that erupt in your stomach when the person you’re crushing on enters the room. It’s the way you’re left breathless when you get a whiff of their scent. Or you find the littlest things that remind you of them. You always had that feeling when he was around. It was like that ever since you were younger. Innocent smile when you see him enter the playground and instantly run over to you to show off his dinosaur band-aid that his parents put on him after he fell. Or the way your teary eyes lit up when he aggressively snatched a toy out of another boy's hand after taking it from you. Or when he would give you his jet black leather jacket for you to put on when he would walk you home from school when you were teenagers.

You hated to admit that maybe you were in over your head. In a cyberpunk atmosphere you were living in, you could be as young as five and be labeled as a criminal before you even learned how to tie your shoes. It was a pretty strange world you lived in, but you managed. You got a job as a preschool teacher. You had a pretty comfy apartment and a cat named Kiko, you were enjoying life.

But you never knew that your once life consisted of the same peaceful events that didn’t cloud your hue until you heard a knock at your door. As you were up creating a lesson plan for your students, your eyes darted to your front door. The knocking only grows louder. You stood up slowly and quietly, hoping this wasn’t some prank your neighbors' teenage sons would be pulling. When you checked the peephole, your breath hitched in your throat and your heart instantly started beating quicker.

When you opened the door, you couldn’t help being frozen. Your eyes were staring at him. Taking in everything. From the way blood was on the shirt, he was wearing to the cuts and bruises on his face. You knew of Kogami’s job. Who didn’t when you were dealing with criminals daily? But you didn’t understand why he was here? When he first accepted the position, he made it clear that he had to cut ties. He refused to accept the possibility of his occupation coming back to you.

That was Kogami Shinya for you.

“Are you okay?” You asked. “Come in before anyone sees you,”

You stepped aside letting him stumble into your apartment. His boots glided across the floor dragging along a trail of blood also. You closed the door with quickness and you were searching for the right words to say and the best you could say was, “You look like shit.”

“Is that how you greet your best friend?” He asked with sarcasm stinging his tongue while he was stripping right in front of you.

“Oh my god!” You shrieked as you turned around. “The bathroom is right down the hall. You can get yourself cleaned up. I’ll grab the first aid kit and I’m pretty sure you have some spare clothes here, that is if you haven’t grown too drastically since the last time we’ve seen each other.”

You could hear Kogami grumble something under his breath before he’s waltzing into the bathroom down the hall. With quickness, you’re collecting his dirty clothes to put in your laundry bin. You also collected some clothes of his and the first aid kit like you promised. You wanted to question why he was here? After all these years why show up here at your place now? As Kogami showered, you were searching for your first aid kit and the questions you were planning to say to him.

How are you? Did you lose my number or something? Why are you here?

Yeah, those questions would be good to start with. When you found the first aid kit, you placed it on your coffee table in the living room and moved on to the next task to find something for him to wear. You still had some clothes of his. When you found something for him to wear, it was in a box filled with some of his old stuff that collected dust in your closet. When you collected the clothes, you knocked on the door three times before sliding in. The steam from the shower causes you to feel hot. The shower curtain was drawn so you couldn’t see Kogami’s naked body. You put the clothes down and walk out of the bathroom before he could even pop his head out of the shower to notice you were in there.

When Kogami was done, it made you realize just how serious he took his hygiene. Any trace of dried-up blood that stained his skin was gone. You could even smell your shampoo in the dark-colored hair that fell in his face. It was as if he didn’t arrive at your house like he had just got finished battling his own demons. You sat on one side of your sofa, dabbing the cotton ball on the cut on Kogami’s forehead. You could hear him wince at your action. “Sorry,” You mumbled as you placed the cotton ball on the table, and then you’re grabbing the ointment to put some ointment on the cut.

“You never told me why you’re here?” You questioned as you were using a q-tip to rub the ointment on the cut. “Don’t get me wrong, I enjoy seeing your face after so many years. But, why come visit now?”

You have gone through so much alone and without him. On some days like the day your father was killed—you wanted to see him so badly. You wanted to call Kogami, but you knew with the riots of people questioning the Sibyl System, his hands were full. With his silence to your question, you assumed that he was here because of work. It wouldn’t be shocking that a mission with his job would lead him to come to you bloody and look like he’s been in a war. However, you were sure that he could have gotten better treatment at his job from professionals.

“I’m leaving town, Y/N,” Kogami firmly said as he shifted his head to the side to look at you.

“What? Like on a mission or?” Your voice trails off as your finger pushes his face back to look straight.

You hated when he gave you that look. A look of worry on how you’ll take the news. He gave you a similar look when he sat across a table in front of you stating that he was cutting ties with you for the sake of his job and your safety. Was this a similar reason? Was he trying to protect you?

“No.” He stated as he looked at you. “I did something that landed me in some trouble at my job. So I have to go.”

You were putting the stuff back into the first aid kit trying to process what he was saying. He did something wrong so therefore he had to leave town.

“Oh.” was the only thing you could muster up to say.

You could feel a sad pit grow in your stomach. Your emotions were hitting you all at once and you didn’t know what to say or do. You couldn’t understand why he would come to your place to tell you this. He could have just left without a word, but here he was giving you this news. Your eyes began to water but you were quick to use the sleeve to the long sleeve shirt you were wearing. Once again Kogami was giving you that look of sorrow. It was the same soft look he gave you when he was forced to break your heart into a million pieces for the sake of your safety.

You were forced to think about all the memories you two shared, more specifically the ones where you two were younger. You two were insufferable, joint by the hip no matter what and now he was finally tugging away from you one last time, but this time it could be the tug that broke you two apart forever.

“I can’t believe you spend your money on those silly toy vending machines,” Seventeen year old you said as you rolled your eyes at your best friend.

He’s been giving you silly little toy capsules from a toy vending machine in front of the local grocery store since the two of you were twelve. You always rolled your eyes playfully at the gesture, but you never threw away any of them since. You had a small box filled with bracelets, small soldier figurines, mini plastic balls, and so much more.

“I want a specific one.” Kogami sighed as he leaned forward to take some of your food off your plate.

“Why won’t you just ask them to open the damn thing?” You asked.

“That would be cheating,” Kogami said. “I’ll get what I want eventually,” He says, giving you a sly grin.

“I don’t want to have to upgrade my box full of them. So whatever toy you’re trying to give to me Ko, please don’t. I appreciate the gesture, but god the box filled with the others is getting full.” You whined before sipping at your drink.

“Oh, so you actually do keep them? Last time you told me you just trash them,” Kogami’s eyes had a curious glint in them.

You felt the blood in your body rush to your face. It felt like it grew ten times hotter when he said that. “I started keeping them when you first gave them to me when we were younger and so why stop now?” You said with a shrug.

You only gained a hum from him before he’s sipping his drink and going back to eating the fries off your plate.

“What did you do?” You asked. “It had to be something bad for you to come to me like this and confess that you’re leaving after years of us not seeing each other.”

“It was considered ethically bad to them, but it’s what he deserved,” He bluntly admitted.

“He?” You asked.

“Mhm.” He simply said. He noticed the look you were giving him and he slumped backward on your sofa. “Please don’t ask any questions about it, I just need to rest up before I leave.”

“Okay.” You firmly said before sighing. “I’m not going to question anymore of whatever is going on. I know you’ll only give me that long lecture about it will only put my life in danger, blah..blah..blah—the same speech you gave me years ago.” You stood up to put the first aid kit back to its rightful place, also being sure to trash any bloody cotton balls and gauzes.

You heard Kogami chuckle before he’s making himself comfortable on your couch that was obviously too small for him. He could have just slept in your bed, it wouldn’t have been the first time you two shared a bed. “You ate? My mom dropped off some curry and rice earlier. If I recall, you used to love her cooking when we were younger.” You asked from the kitchen.

Kogami who was attempting to sleep off the brutalizing pain of the bumps and falls he’s taken today would only say, “No. I just want to sleep.”

Silence overcame the two friends before a grumble erupted from Kogami’s stomach that caused you to giggle. “I’ll heat you some anyway so you can eat. To be honest, you can probably take the whole container for your trip out of the city. I think my mom is trying to curry me to death because it was my dad's favorite meal.” You explained while you were making a plate of food for Kogami.

“Was?” He asked. He had given up attempting to sleep, his forearm pushing him upward to look at you walking around the kitchen.

“Yeah, he died.” You sighed as you placed the plate in the microwave. “He just was at the wrong place at the wrong time when it got hectic during those riots,” You said.

You noticed the twitch in Kogami’s lip before he’s leaning right back to lay on the couch that was too big for him. “Sorry for your lost,” He said out loud. “I feel bad for missing the funeral,” He adds.

“It’s only my fault. I wanted to call you so badly.” You leaned against your kitchen counter. “But, I couldn’t muster up the courage to do so. With the riots, I just thought you would have too much on your plate.” You explained.

The familiar aroma of your mom’s curry swirled around your apartment. It was a smell that brought back memories from when he was younger and your parents always opened their home for him to come over.

“I would have made time to come you know,” Kogami said.

“I know.” You simply sighed. Your heart felt heavy in your chest but you took the opportunity to use the hot plate of food being ready to change the subject.

You place the food on the coffee table and also grab him something to drink. “Dig in, this could be the last time you taste it.”

You sat back down on the floor continuing to do what you were doing before he arrived. You could hear the sound of Kogami’s utensils scraping away at the plate and his low chewing sound while you two basked in each other's silence.

“How have you been though? Other than being the obvious rule breaker you are?” Your eyes glanced up at him tapping your ballpoint pen on the table.

You didn’t particularly want to know more details that landed him on your couch and on the run, you just needed to know how he was behind that cold heart of his. You couldn’t imagine what he has witnessed considering his job to society.

“I’m okay.” He simply said before he stood up to go wash the dish he was used.

You chuckled to yourself at both his answer and his actions. He was still the same boy you’ve known since you were younger. You could hear him shuffling around your apartment while you were making notes in your planning book. You could hear him from the bathroom, “Where are your spare toothbrushes?” He yelled from the bathroom.

“Check the closet near the bathroom.” You responded.

Once again you heard his footsteps scattering around your apartment and eventually he returned plopping down on the floor in front of you. You could feel his eyes staring a hole into you. “What are you working on?” He asked.

Before you could answer his question, he slid the notebook towards himself. His eyes looking at your lesson plan for the week. “I still can believe that you’re really a teacher. When we were in high school, your eyes practically lit up seeing little children.”

Your cheeks flushed while you were clicking your pen. “I mean, you had your dream and I had mine.” You grabbed your notebook back.

Now that the two of you were going down memory lane, you managed to get sidetracked from your lesson planning. “Remember you used to collect those toy capsules things? I still would like to know.”

Kogami leaned forward resting his elbow on the wooden coffee table. “Know what?” He asked.

“Was there like a certain toy you were trying to get?” You asked.

“It was, but I gave up once I became an inspector.” He admits.

“Oh.” Your lips formed a perfect ‘o’ shape before you’re speaking once more, “Such a weird thing to do.”

“And they were very weird for you to collect.” Kogami playfully rolled his eyes at you.

“I couldn’t just throw them away, you kept giving them to me. It would feel like I’m throwing our friendship away or something.” You shrugged. “It’s nice to talk to you again even though it’s going to end pretty soon.”

“They’re going to know I came here.” Kogami sighs realizing that the light banter between you two was slowly being masked by the fact that he was on the run.

“I know.” You said. “So, why’d you come here? You haven’t contacted me in years to protect me—but suddenly think stopping by my home when you’re on the run is the best thing to do.”

Once again the two of you bask in that comfortable silence you were a little too familiar with.

“I love you. I couldn’t just leave without telling you this.”

“It’s not fair for you to say this when you’re about to leave. That’s just so reckless of you, you know I’m an overthinker. Now you’re going to be on the run and I’m going have to worry about you because you’re so in love with me.” Your nervous rambling was interrupted by his soft plush lips on yours.

It took you by shock because you haven’t felt his lips on yours in a long time. You hated to admit that it was a feeling you missed as years went on without him being in your life. Your body leaned against the coffee table before you’re breaking apart completely. It didn’t take long before you were crawling to be in his arms once again. Lips connecting with quickness as the kisses grew even more passionate before the uneventful events traveled to your bedroom.

With each soft kiss on your lips, you couldn’t help but let out soft whimpers wanting more. You were aware that tonight was your last night with him and you probably wouldn’t see him anymore. Your bodies intertwined with each other as clothes littered the floor with each passing section, the two of you so prepared to finally become one. Fingers grasping for each other and faint whimpers when being touched in the right spot. It was as if Kogami and yourself weren’t apart for many years prior. It was as if he was expressing a hidden love for you with each kiss, nibble, and lick he pressed upon your delicate flesh. As the minutes passed, you realized that Kogami was you doing such lewd things with Kogami was your first in a while.

Kogami was your first everything. He was the first boy whose hand you held, even though some would say it didn’t count because he was your line buddy in elementary school. Your first kiss when you two were fifteen and played seven minutes in heaven at a friend’s party. Obviously, he was the one that took your virginity in the backseat of your mom’s car after you got your driver’s license. Some would question why exactly you two weren’t dating. You never knew the answer to that question, but Kogami did.

He couldn’t have you intertwined in the danger of his job. Any criminal could have used you for leverage. Shogo Makishima could have dangled you right in front of Kogami’s eyes without care and he wouldn’t have been able to sleep at night if that was to happen. Although the man was dead—it still sent a treacherous chill down Kogami’s spine at the thought of that happening. That dangerous feeling that sat heavily on Kogami’s heart went away when he felt the tip of his cock teasing at your drooling entrance.

The moon peaked through the sheer curtains in your bedroom, but he still had a perfect view of your gorgeous face. A beautiful sight of seeing the way your kiss swollen lips gasped apart feeling his plump tip finally push itself upon your gummy walls. The grip upon your thigh was a little familiar, forcing you to remember the heat of the moment of losing your virginity in a similar position years ago.

Your lips gasped apart feeling him inch slowly towards kissing your cervix. Your fingernails dug into the soft flesh of his forearm that was prompt near you. His eyes soften seeing your teeth graze at your lower lip. His fingertips trace alongside your soft skin before speaking. “You okay? I can stop, if it—” His words were interjected by your arms snaking around his neck to bring his face closer for you to kiss him.

He broke the kiss suddenly to pay attention to pleasing you. His thrust grew a bit quicker and his hold onto you was a bit tighter. Hearing your pretty moans was a form of motivation for him. His free hand that wasn’t pinning you down was grasping at the headboard to help his thrusts.

“Fuck—you sound so pretty,” Kogami said through the sound of his own pants.

His jet black hair stuck to his forehead due to the sweat droplets that cumulated upon his forehead. His cock was coated with your slick which caused it to be so easier for the tip of his cock to tap at that spot that caused your toes to curl. The pornographic sound of heated skin slapping against each other was attempting to overpower your wooden headboard that was crashing upon the wall.

You could feel yourself about to cum. Your stomach formed the most pleasurable knots and you wanted to explode so badly. Your legs quivered under Kogami’s body as he brought his hand in between your sweated-coated bodies. You felt him rub on your throbbing clit in a circular motion. Your body felt like it was going into complete shock feeling the sudden pressure upon your slit.

“Say it,” Kogami said with each word that rolled off his tongue, he was sure to add in a couple more rough thrusts.

“Say what?” Your teeth nibbled on your lower lip holding back the moan you wanted to let out.

The strokes Kogami was handing to you slowed down, but the movement on your clit sped up. Your body reacted naturally to arch off the bed your bare body was on, but Kogami only pinned you back down to continue what he was doing. He’s leaning down so his face is buried into the crook of your neck, enduring the sweet scent of you. You could feel him placing smug kisses on your neck before his pace quickened. “Those three words.”

His comment sent a chill down your spine as you could feel yourself pulse around his cock. Kogami didn’t stop now that your walls clenched around him beautifully, but it didn’t take him long before he’s coming down from his own high of being inside you.

Your naked bodies were connected with each other like a puzzle that was finally completed. Your head was laying on his chest tracing random shapes on his toned abdomen. You realized that drowsiness have finally swept upon your body when you let out a yawn, but you couldn’t forget to repeat those three words back at Kogami.

“I love you.” was the last thing you told Kogami before your eyes fluttered closed.

The following morning, you could feel the sun kiss your bare skin. Your limbs ached with love bites and marks while your eyes slowly fluttered open. Your head reached next to you, expecting to be met with Kogami-toned body parts, but you could only feel emptiness and your sheets. You finally sat up covering your naked body with the thin sheets on your body. The scent of Kogami imprinted on your skin and you felt lightheaded remembering what happened last night.

He was gone.

Nonetheless, his actions last night were a perfect goodbye for you—it would have been nice for him to kiss you one last time. As you were about to climb out of bed to start your Saturday, you noticed something on your nightstand. Your arm reached to grab the small toy capsule and you couldn’t help but chuckle to yourself. You brought it up to your ear to shake it, whatever that was inside bounced off the insides of the capsules. You opened it out of curiosity to see the toy ring. It was made out of plastic and couldn’t even fit on your finger, but you couldn’t help but smile at it.

Finally, you realized that this was the toy he spent years using his coins trying to get. You let your body collapse back into the fluffiness of your mattress as you held the small toy ring up in the air with a smile on your face.

That was Kogami Shinya for you.

TAGS — @princessatoru @blueparadis @kulemiwrites @zcmbi @nalyana @thefairywalker @tojissword @itsjustmikii @ceeriusly-dumb @syomi @spliffymae @samonaham @hyuene @sexlapis

#psycho pass x reader #pp x reader #psycho pass smut #anime x reader #anime smut #fem reader #female reader #kogami shinya x reader #shinya kogami smut #kogami shinya smut #kogami x reader #shinya kogami x reader

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ingravinoveritas · 10 months

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MY GOODNESS THAT TV INSIDER SNIPPET WHERE YOU CAN SEE THEM MOVE PHYSICALLY CLOSER TO EACH OTHER IN ABOUT 20 SECONDS. UGHHH. DAVID WAS LITERALLY HALF OFF HIS SEAT TO BE CLOSER TO MICHAEL

Hi, Anons! Oh, gosh, I love both of these so much. Putting them together because I think there's a definite connection worth discussing.

So first, Anon #2 I know you must be referring to the new interviews with Michael and David that have come out the past few days (on Screen Rant Plus, Movieweb, etc.). Anon #1 is referring to another clip that just came out today, so I'll put the video up here for anyone who hasn't seen it and then discuss it further down this post:

Anon #2, how beautifully you have phrased your observation, and I could not possibly agree with you more. I've noticed a lot of people saying that Michael and David look sad or miserable, but I don't think that is the case at all. Well, a couple of things: 1) We have no idea when these interviews were recorded, though if I had to guess I'd say within the last month or two, and if that is the case, Michael was still directing/working nonstop on The Way, so that would explain him looking tired (along with running around after two little kids all the time). 2) I'm fairly certain that a large part of them not looking at each other is because they are trying not to give anything away about the second season, and Michael and David both know they won't be able to keep quiet if they make even the tiniest bit of eye contact.

3) I fully agree with your assertion that the lack of staring shows how close Michael and David have become, because to me, it also means that they no longer feel a need to be "on" around each other. They've both spoken in the past about how much they hate doing interviews/photo shoots, and that it became far more bearable when they had each other. That was the case four years ago, and now we've all gone through a global pandemic and some of the darkest times in our lives. That naturally strips away any sense of pretense--seeing someone at their worst, or when they're sick or afraid. I get the feeling that Michael and David have been through all of that and where so many other relationships/marriages fell apart, their relationship is even stronger now as a result. They love and accept each other exactly as they are, and it shows.

Finally, 4) What you said about Michael not staring at David makes my heart ache and seems so true. On the season 1 press tour, he was already in love, but didn't know when they would see each other again. I'm reminded of that one interview where they both suddenly seem to realize the press tour is coming to an end, and they don't know when they'll see each other next:

vimeo

"Can we just...see each other? For no reason?"

He doesn't even have to ask that question now. Michael doesn't have to keep his eyes on David every moment because he has already memorized his whole face, the stubble on his skin, the softness of his lips. And he knows with perfect certainty that he will never be without David in his life again.

And this all fits in beautifully with the video you've mentioned, Anon #1, because they absolutely do move closer to each other in that video, and not only does it look like they did it completely unconsciously, but David seems to actually mirror Michael:

Michael is the first one to move closer, as we see above, and then right after he does, David moves closer. And again, they're not staring at each other the whole time. nor do they seem to be playing up their "personas"--Michael and David are just being themselves, and their natural inclination is to be close to each other. (Also, Michael's fucking wiggle right after he moves is killing me, because I think he only does that when he's very, very happy...)

Absolutely beautiful. I so appreciate you both sharing your thoughts with me, Anons. Thanks for writing in! xx

#anonymous #reply post #michael sheen #welsh seduction machine #david tennant #soft scottish hipster gigolo #saying a lot by saying very little #so soft and lovely #the energy between them just crackles #so much warmth and affection #i don't know if i believe in fate but i believe in them #ineffable lovers #discourse #gif by me

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atamascolily · 7 months

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Tarot and Symbolism in the Walpurgis no Kaiten trailer

The most interesting moments in the Walpurgis no Kaiten trailer are unlikely to be in the final film. There are three of them, all in quick succession during the grayscale "flashback" sequence explaining How We Got Here.

At first glance, this is fairly straightforward--a clip from the original series, with the characters for "calamity" (災厄) reflected backwards. I don't know if this phrase ever comes up in the original series, but in at least one interview, Gen Urobuchi says Walpurgisnacht is "perceived as a calamity", which I have always thought was a striking way of putting it. (Is it possible to perceive her in ways that are not a calamity??)

Screenshot of the interview in question from the 2011-05 issue of Megami Magazine on the Puella Magi Wiki, which I am reposting here because Tumblr hates links.

Note that Urobuchi uses "災害" for "calamity" instead of "災厄" - both phrases mean the same thing, but my dictionary tells me that not only can 災厄 also be written 厄災, but that 厄 can mean either misfortune or an especially unlucky year. So that got my attention.

Even if I hadn't seen the key visual with two Homuras (or Homura and someone else wearing her face), it's abundantly clear from this shot alone that mirrors, reflections, and reversals are going to be a major theme.

The next shot follows immediately on the heels of the first, showing a clip of Homura from Rebellion:

Once again, we have the backwards text, this time reading 回い続ける, or "to spin in a circle". This is appropriate, given the nature of Homura's loops, but the same phrase also appears in the text of Walpurgisnacht's witch card, where she is "the fool that spins in a circle" -- 回い続ける愚者. And speaking of 愚者...

.... gues which character is plastered across Devil!Homura's face--not only backwards, but upside down??

This, to me, is the most important shot in the trailer, the one where SHAFT is tipping their hand, but to explain why, we need to talk about the meaning of 愚者. It doesn't simply mean "fool" as in a person of little intelligence--it also means the archetypal Fool, i.e., the Tarot card The Fool.

For those unfamiliar with Tarot, it is one of the ancestors of modern European playing cards--versions of it are still used in Europe for gaming, but it is most famous as tool for divination. Like a modern deck, the Tarot has 4 suits from 1-10 (wands/staves, cups, swords, and pentacles/coins) as well as face cards (page, knight, queen, king), but it also has a series of cards known collectively as the Major Arcana, which run in a series with higher cards taking lower cards in a game.

The Fool is the first card of the Major Arcana, although typically it is not assigned a number (and if it is, the number is zero). Depending on how you play, it is either the lowest or highest card in the Major Arcana, just like the modern Joker, with which it shares a common ancestor. It's literally a wild card.

From an esoteric standpoint, the Major Arcana is seen as an allegorical quest known as the Fool's Journey, an endless cycle of self-discovery culminating in the Last Judgement and the perfection of The World, before starting over anew… all of which fits with Homura's arc. In divination, The Fool represents starting out on a journey, a carefree and simplistic innocence, and is depicted as a handsome young man on the road, blissfully ignorant as he strolls right off the edge of a cliff.

However, the meaning of Tarot cards changes depending on their orientation in space--a process known as "reversal," as this upside-down meaning is usually the exact opposite of their normal "upright" reading. So the Fool reversed is carelessness, vanity, over-the-top dramatics--a perfect description of Walpurgisnacht (who, as I've said, has earlier been described as The Fool) as well as Devil!Homura.

(As a bonus, Walpurgisnacht as The Fool also helps to explain her circus/performance motif, as fools were historically bards, entertainers… or clowns.)

All three of these shots are literally "blink and you'll miss 'em" fast--the only reason I picked up on them was because I was taking screenshots. However, as I've said before, I think they go a long way towards explaining the overall themes and symbolism of the movie despite likely not appearing in the film itself.

That is, of course, not the only Tarot reference in the trailer: "The Moon" also makes an overt appearance in Homura's sanctum early on.

The moon itself is a source of constant change, so the fact that Homura has placed a pin in it--literally stopping time--is unsurprising. Given that butterflies represent souls in Japanese culture, the pinned butterflies in the background are also evocative, especially if Homura has taken on Kyubey's role as a contractor, as seems likely from context.

Meanwhile, The Moon card in Tarot represents the deep unconscious and secrets brought to light. Things are not what they appear to be, and you must trust your instincts to see past the illusion. But is Homura really listening, or will her overconfidence cause her to misstep at a critical moment?

Given these Tarot references in the trailer, I expect we will see more in the full movie. The most obvious, of course, is The Devil, but I am more interested in the card the card immediately AFTER The Devil--The Tower, which depicts a tower being struck by lightning, and represents sudden calamity and irrevocable change. And guess what we see in the final shots of the trailer?

…let's just say I will be very surprised if Homura's tower survives the film intact.

#puella magi madoka magica #walpurgis no kaiten #walpurgisnacht rising #tarot

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awakefor48hours · 1 month

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Marinette’s version

Doing this poll again because it’s been a year and I want to know how things have changed.

Please consider reblogging for a larger sample size

#i also hate the way i phrased the question last year #very amanormative (/negative) of me #my poll #miraculous ladybug #adrien agreste #alyadrien #adrino #adrigami #chloedrien #lukadrien #liladrien

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saintsenara · 4 months

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I'm curious about arachne!

thank you so much for the ask, @midnightstargazer - and i'm sorry for taking so long to getting around to answering this work in progress tag game question...

arachne is a piece i'm putting together for @ladiesofhpfest, specifically for the week on character studies - you can find the full schedule of themes here.

as with many of my pieces for last year's iteration, i'd like to use the fest to take a deep-dive not only into female characters who don't get a lot of attention in comparison to male ones, but into female characters who don't get a lot of fandom attention full stop. I've got stories in the works about mrs zabini, merope gaunt, kendra dumbledore, petunia dursley etc.

but this one is about eileen prince, severus snape's mother.

when eileen appears in fan-fiction, which is rarely, she is often given a standard backstory: she's from a pureblood family, often an elite or influential one, which disowns her when she runs off with the muggle, tobias snape; her marriage is marked by poverty and abuse; and she dies before 1991 at the latest [often, she's dead before her son becomes a death eater], frequently at her husband's hands.

and this backstory does, of course, have a strong canon basis: snape's memories of his childhood, seen by harry in order of the phoenix and deathly hallows, reveal undeniably that eileen was a victim of domestic violence and that she spent the 1960s and 1970s - at the very least - as notably poor even within a poor town.

that she's a pureblood, however, has as its canon basis only harry deciding at the end of half-blood prince that she must have been, in order to force a comparison between snape - who has just murdered dumbledore - and voldemort. that she's from an elite pureblood family has no basis more reliable than this fandom's belief that all purebloods are glamorous aristocrats, and that aristocracy is a good and admirable thing...

but, of course, the thing about harry's assessment of snape's character at the end of half-blood prince is that he's... wrong. snape is neither a coward nor a murderer, he didn't hate lily, and he's not a loyal death eater at all.

so, that made me think... what if he's wrong about eileen? after all, if her marriage to a working-class muggle man is announced in the daily prophet, she can hardly be supposed to be from a blood supremacist family? we know that not all pureblood families live glamorous lives on ancestral estates, why couldn't some of them live in terraced houses in declining industrial towns? why couldn't eileen and tobias have grown up together, have believed themselves a love story, and then discovered as they tried to make a life together as adults that the magic which seemed so irrelevant between them as children only brings resentment once there are bills to pay and no money to pay them with? what effect would that have on a son already primed to be radicalised against muggles...?

so, arachne is eileen's life story, featuring me on my soapbox about how social class is the most important theme of the series and also featuring me on my soapbox about how every character is irish in some way.

i am keeping coy for now [which, while i'm on my 'everyone is irish' soapbox is a phrase i do not sound good saying out loud...] about why the title is what it is...

#work in progress ask game #asenora fics #eileen prince #arahne

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gwenllian-in-the-abbey · 4 months

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What is your interpretation of Viserys's character? It's amazing how grrm made the man who literally single handedly destroyed his family's legacy and started the bloodiest civil war in Westros a "joyful generous king who wants everyone to get along" it's like grrm wanted the fault of the dance to be on Alicent and Aegon not Vissy for some reason

Thanks anon! This is an excellent question.

So I actually don't think that GRRM meant for Alicent or Aegon to take the full blame for the Dance. If you read F&B and World of Ice and Fire, remembering that those books are not written in GRRM's authorial voice, but by in-world maesters who are compiling histories, you'll see that the authors of those books are not very complimentary about Viserys. However, they are diplomatic about it. He was a king who ruled for several decades, and he was not hated by the people at the time of his death. The scholarship of maesters like Gyldayn and Yandel is also pretty surface level. Still, Yandel all but blames Viserys for the Dance, saying that Viserys "had ruled for six-and-twenty years, reigning over the most prosperous era in the history of the Seven Kingdoms but seeding within it the disastrous decline of his house and the death of the last dragons." He might be called amiable and generous, but weighing against that, he's also called weak-willed, easily influenced, and anxious to please. Those are not really complimentary qualities when discussing kingship. The books stop short of calling Viserys a bad king on the level of Aegon IV or Aerys II, but they're not particularly complimentary towards him either.

And here's the thing. Ensuring a clean succession is one of a king's most important jobs. A smooth transition of power is essential for the stability of the realm, and a disputed succession was to be avoided at all costs. Throughout real life history, you will see examples of kings going out of their way to ensure that there is one clear heir who will inherit upon their death. It is the king's responsibility to ensure that the succession is clear, that the heir is prepared to rule, and that the heir has sufficient support to rule. There is a reason why, although the often repeated "the king's word is law" phrase might have some base truth to it, most kings followed established lines of succession and did not just choose their favorite child, or even the child they believed best suited to rule. Enduring the occasional less than ideal king was the price paid for a peaceful transition of power, and for ensuring that the method by which power was peacefully transferred from one monarch to the next, remained stable.

So in real life feudal monarchies, when succession crises happened, it was usually because of some unexpected event. The Anarchy that the Dance is based on happened because King Henry I lost his only son, William Adelin, in a shipwreck. The boy was already seventeen at the time, and when he died, Henry tried to have more sons with his second wife, but was unsuccessful. His only other legitimate child was a daughter, Matilda, who eventually became his heir following the rules of male preference primogeniture, although his nephews were in consideration at one point. Likewise, Edward the Black Prince, heir to Edward III, died before his father did. Unlike William Adelin, however, Edward the Black Prince had a son, Richard II, who became Edward III's heir. When Richard II became king he was still a child, and had to contend with very powerful adult uncles who became powerful as his regents, and their sons, who did not want to give up power when Richard II came of age. This situation eventually led to the War of the Roses. There are also succession crises in which a king who dies childless is also the last of his direct line, such as Henry III of France, the last Valois king. In this situation the next claimant might come through a female line or a more senior male line, but it's rarely clear cut. But these are generally unusual or unexpected situations rather than the result of a king's willful refusal to do his duty and ensure a clean succession.

Viserys had options for avoiding the Dance, the easiest and most obvious being simply making his eldest son his heir upon his birth. He had every indication that his insistence on keeping Rhaenyra as heir would lead to a succession crisis after his death, and yet he did nothing to avert it. He had no intention of codifying new succession laws to allow daughters to inherit over sons, instead he imagined succession as a free for all, king's choice, which is bound to lead to conflict and is a terrible idea in a kingdom ruled by dragonriders. Viserys inherited a prosperous and stable kingdom and arguably the most important job he had was to keep it stable, and yet he created a succession crisis out of nothing, for no good reason. Neither Rhaenyra nor Aegon turned out to be particularly good rulers in their short reigns, but only one of them could have taken the throne as uncontested heir, and that is Aegon. Had Aegon been named heir from the start, there would have been no one to contest him (Rhaenyra's claim lies solely on being her father's chosen heir, if she's isn't, she has no claim), and no war.

What would compel Viserys to completely trash his own succession? I think in the books, it is left up to interpretation. Was Viserys stupid, willfully ignorant, or a malicious narcissist? Certainly, although he was supposedly a people pleaser, no one in his family was very pleased by his decisions, and it's hard to imagine the Red Keep a happy household when Viserys deliberately drove a wedge between his children and created a situation that everyone knew would one day lead to war. I'm going to tag @aifsaath because she has some good Viserys thoughts regarding the possibility that Viserys wasn't just a bumbling idiot, but actively malicious.

#asks #viserys i targaryen #dance of the dragons #fire and blood #aegon ii targaryen

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richkidcityfriends · 7 months

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your opinion on 2022 winter Olympics

okay so im assuming this is only about figure skating and i mean oml there was so much going on. below the cut bc i think this is gonna be long.

okay so FIRST OF ALL the kamila valieva situation. where to begin. (as a note: none of this is a statement on her except in relation to the 2022 olys)

the positive test being from rusnats and only being found out in february is weird. idk if we ever found out exactly why that happened? but i can only assume it was meddling from the russian end.

i think the media response was cruel, and i think part of that was a lot of people were trying to talk about it without knowing the full situation, but the amount of vicious hate and blame kamila received was unjustified. she was fifteen years old and in an abusive situation, to what extent she knew about the doping is irrelevant in my mind, the blame falls on the adults in power (mainly her coaches). eteri tutberidze is notoriously controlling and abusive, and there is no way any of that was happening without her being responsible. she controls the amount of WATER her skaters can drink. skating at that level, especially in russia, your coach is practically your primary guardian; if eteri told her to dope then there was pretty much nothing she could do. only eteri girls were ever going to go to the olympics, if she switched coaches that would have ended her life's goal (and the way they train is so all-consuming that to not get to the olympics at all would have felt life shattering).

should she have been been allowed to skate? i dont think so. at least partially bc it essentially proves to coaches that you can "get away with" doping as long as the people you are drugging are children. obviously having an athlete who has taken performance enhancing drugs is unfair to everyone else, but that goes without saying. HOWEVER i do understand the worry that the test could have been wrong or she might not have known, either way it would have been unfair to her. (the "irreparable harm" quote is always taken out of context - they meant that if she skated and was found guilty they could strip her of the medal, but if she was banned and found innocent there was no fixing it). ultimately though i think letting her skate was the wrong decision (especially since the case STILL hasnt been settled).

i dont think eteri told her to throw the free to make sure the others got their medals, because she looked so traumatised afterwards and eteri reacted so badly (ive never understood this theory tbh)

that was the first scandal from the olys but oml it was definitely not the last. there was so much going on. olympics from hell. lets talk about the womens podium.

(but first a note on ultra c elements: do i think the sport is suffering because of the increased value placed on jumps? yes. do i think artistry is important? absolutely. do i think there is a conversation to be had about the morals of training young children (especially girls) to do dangerous jumps that cause permanent damage to their bodies? one hundred fucking percent. things need to change in this sport. however. i will make repeated references to whether or not someone is jumping ultra c when discussing the podium, because that is how its scored atm, and i do think that they aren’t irrelevant (it is a sport, athletic feats are also important) just please please know that i am also taking artistry into account its just harder to objectively phrase in a short paragraph and this is already long enough). okay caveat over. please no one attack me. lets go.

look i KNOW the most pressing question is do i think anna deserved gold HOWEVER. have you considered. did anna deserve to be sent to the olympics at all. and this makes me insane because like?? skating like she did at the olys?? yeah she probably deserved to be there!! so it kinda seems mean to talk about this but ALSO i feel like we definitely have to not forget it so. the russian olympic team was pretty much based off of the podium for rusnats, which that year was kamila, sasha, anna. but anna in third place was veryyy controversial bc like. she had no ultra c elements at all (and her tech is DODGY so without them it gets even harder to justify her high scores) but elizaveta had a triple axel (and better tech) so a LOT of people thought that she should have come third, but rusfed just wanted to send anna to the olys instead (which i pretty much agree with).

but okay whether you like it or not she DID make the olympic team so. womens olympic podium. a grenade of a question. everyone is allowed their own opinions on it im not saying anyone is wrong if they think differently!!!!! also im only going to talk about the top five bc this is already wayyy too long.

i know on tiktok a while back the popular opinion was that wakaba should’ve been gold, which i don’t really agree with, however she absolutely should not have been fifth. no doubt in my mind she should have been at LEAST fourth, if not third. kamila should have been behind her i don’t care how many quads she was attempting, she fell like five times. she got through on reputation and the eteri bonus alone. kaori did skate cleanly, but with no triple c, and her tech isn’t great on some of her jumps, so wakaba (who fell on a jump, but had a triple axel, and generally better tech and artistry imo) could have come third and i would have been happy. anna i go back and forth on, because her artistry is alright, and technically she does jump quads, but her tech skills are SO questionable (her quad lutz is neither a quad nor a lutz). the tech bar for quads is lower than for triples, and i do kinda think that makes sense, but her quad tech is worse than most of the other quad jumping girls so it’s a fair comparison. i don’t think she deserved gold, but im never fully sure about silver either. honestly her, wakaba, and kaori can fight it out for second/third/fourth. in terms of actual skaters i like wakaba best, in terms of who performed best on the day i think you could make a compelling argument for any order.

that of course leaves sasha in first place. i know she fell on her triple axel in the short, but the only people who didn’t fall at all were anna (i’ll talk about her last) and kaori, and while triple c elements aren’t the only important thing, the skater who fell on one and landed five kind of has to be above the skater who attempted none at all, imo, so that puts kaori out of the running. wakaba fell once as well, and she definitely has the edge on artistry, but i don’t think sashas artistry was as bad as a lot of people say, especially in her short, so i don’t think thats quite enough to put wakaba ahead of sasha overall. sasha’s tech skills were so much higher than the rest of the skaters that i think it would be almost impossible to bridge that gap with artistry alone. lastly theres anna, who ofc actually won the ogm. two clean skates, slightly better artistry, much worse tech (i know sasha’s tech isn’t perfect either, but she’s definitely better – id say thanks to plushenko). annas tech should have been called, if not her edges then at least for prerotation. sasha fell on a triple axel and anna landed a double in the short, sasha landed five quads and anna landed two in the free. taking into account how poor her quad tech is, i don’t think that her artisty is enough to pass sasha.

however!!!! again i want to reiterate!!!!! everyone is allowed their own opinions on this!!! i do not give a damn if you think that anastasiia shabotova should have come first!!!! go you!!! to each their own <3

now for something that i do think you can wrong about. the reaction to sashas reaction to the scores was appalling. she was seventeen years old (a CHILD) in an extremely high stress situation and had been told by her (abusive, manipulative) coaches that if she landed all five quads she would win, and when this turned out to be untrue she got upset and had what was clearly a panic attack, asked not to be filmed and was ignored by every cameraman in the area, had to immediately go in front of millions of people while still being a mess, and was then attacked from all angles for being “ungrateful” and “showing bad sportsmanship.” show some empathy. (especially ppl who are still giving out about it now “on behalf of anna” when they seemed to be at least friendly again as soon as the very next day)

OKAY WE’RE ALMOST DONE i mostly only follow women’s so the rest of this is going to be brief

sui/han deserved ogm, my sister and i were rooting for miura/kihara to do well but we knew there was no chance for a medal. loving seeing them do so well rn.

nathan chen’s costume was ridiculous. last time i said my nathan chen take i got eaten alive on tiktok so im not gonna say much about him. he did deserve gold tho.

scoring felt harsh on yuzuru. wish he’d gotten another ogm but it wasn’t meant to be. im glad he got to attempt the quadruple axel at the olympics at least.

papadakis/cizeron ogm deserved.

oh MY god i forgot about the team event. pls someone save me. im so sorry i know no one wants this much. this isn’t even the worst i can do. i have talked at my friends for hours straight before about figure skating. i cant help it i have no control. we are going to ignore the team event okay. Just give them their medals. pls. i beg. they still don’t have their medals. i know it sucks for the rest of the russian team if they lose the gold bc kamila was stripped but you have to give the rest of them their medals.

anyway if you made it until the end here is a gold star ⭐ i don’t know how you did it.

#i am SO sorry #this is way too long #but anyway yes here is a brief (yes ik but i promise this is brief) overview of my most pressing olys 2022 opinions #yes this is almost 2000 words long and yes i wrote it instead of my english hw #oh also when i say you in the post that is the impersonal you. one. no part of it is directed in particular at anyone!!!!#im not giving out to anyone!!!#altho if anyone has any questions or anything pls ask and i will elaborate #asks #figure skating #roboobin #also idk if this is even legible its the middle of the night and im sick

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la-pheacienne · 1 year

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I love LOVE your rhaelya thoughts. rhaelya hunts the narrative and the characters, more in daenerys, arya and jon. but jon, oh, jon :(. bby boy thinks that his mother did not love him, but lyanna's last words and thoughs were for him "promise me ned, promise me" probably to protect him forever but couldn't, and that is why ned feels like he failed. and rhaegar, while he is most and foremost paralleled to dany, jon has number of things from him. the truth of the parentage is gonna be a conflict from him, but i truly believe that he will love having a mother that loved him and that his parents loved each other. jon has been dreaming of it for years.

Thank you nonnie!! 💖

Well yes Jon breaks my heart in that situation. And when he finds out who his parents, he will probably believe he is a child born out of rape because that's what all Northerners believe apart from Ned who is dead. It will take a while I think before he finds out who his father really was.

And yes, Rhaegar has been paralleled to Dany mainly that's one of the reasons people hate him so much but there are a lot of parallels with Jon too. That's an interesting question because I've always seen and loved Jon particularly because of how pure of a Stark he was. The brooding, ill-tempered, solemn and grim personality is very characteristic of the North, and of Ned. Jon is a great swordsman like Ned, he is honourable like Ned and he has the Northern looks, dark hair and grey eyes. In all sorts and purposes he's a true Stark. BUT, I can't help but feel that the comparison between Rob's and Jon's looks was kind of weird:

"Jon was of an age with Robb, but they did not look alike. Jon was slender where Robb was muscular, dark where Robb was fair, graceful and quick where his half brother was strong and fast."

So slender, dark, graceful and quick. Now the graceful part is weird. Northerners are not really that graceful, let's say that's not their trademark. Of course you can say Lyanna was probably graceful, but was she really? She was basically a tomboy like Arya, she was very pretty but I don't know if "graceful" would be the first word one would use to describe her. In Westeros, which House is particularly defined by gracefulness? Well, you guessed it. Especially Rhaegar was said to be very graceful and slender ("long fingers" etc etc the whole Targ software). So yeah we have that. Also personality wise, well, Jon has a trait that was very characteristic of Rhaegar specifically, the guy knows how to create a strong impression on people. Jon befriends Tyrion on the spot, he is very influential in the Knight's watch, he became Lord Commander at such a young age, women love him etc. Rhaegar was loved by smallfolk, Cersei was completely enamoured with him, Barristan remembers him fondly still, Jorah calls him the last dragon, he haunts Jaimie's dreams, he left a big impact on people. But then again, Lyanna did too, so I guess he got it from both his parents. Also the way Rhaegar was born in grief parallels Jon's very tragic birth and the shadow that was cast on him for his whole life for being a bastard. That's also very specific.

So the "promise me Ned" line confuses me a lot. For a long time I believed that Lyanna just asked Ned to burry her in Winterfell because the first time the phrase is mentioned in the book the context is clear.

"I was with her when she died," Ned reminded the king. "She wanted to come home, to rest beside Brandon and Father." He could hear her still at times. Promise me, she had cried, in a room that smelled of blood and roses. Promise me, Ned. The fever had taken her strength and her voice had been faint as a whisper, but when he gave her his word, the fear had gone out of his sister's eyes. Ned remembered the way she had smiled then, how tightly her fingers had clutched his as she gave up her hold on life, the rose petals spilling from her palm, dead and black".

The main problems with this is 1) why was Lyanna afraid for a simple wish as to be buried at her home and 2) why does that line keep haunting Ned throughout AGOT? He recalls that line so many times at seemingly irrelevant situations and it's weird because Lyanna apparently got her death wish. Why would GRRM insist so much on that particular line if it was something that was already settled forever? Sansa reminds him of that, he sees that in his nightmares, then Robert himself reminds him of that line when he says the exact same words before he dies. And what did Robert want Ned to promise? Well, that he will have a specific funeral feast for him, and that he will try to protect Daenerys' life. Lol.

We don't know what this line means, but it probably refers to Jon. We'll never know for sure because we ain't getting the books 😂

#asoiaf #got #I'm on my Rhaelya bullshit again #rhaegar x lyanna #Rhaelya #rhaegar targaryen #lyanna stark #jon snow #ned stark #aspa rambles

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