#i actually don't like the suit sketch i did but you know they can't be all 10/10 | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

greenlaut · 1 month

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death of the divine ✸

as your flatter talk shivers down my spine i hear the Holy One exposing all the lies (Lord, forgive me, i know my flesh needs to die) x

baal / lucifer / michael from angels before man and angels & man by @nicosraf

close-ups + work progress under the cut

og sketches

cleaned up sketch (i can't perceive my own messy sketch's coherency ok)

1st version. didn't like how thick the lineart and the colour palette isn't clicking with me. is so i scrapped it. decided i want to do frame/illuminated manuscript thingy so i added frame and re-centered michael.

i kind of winged it for the final version, so i don't have progress of me picking colour palette or compositions. idk how i did it, i just did it, it was hard. i had a bad day so i blanked out the entire day to just lose myself in this illustration. and then uh. tada.

now some close-ups:

and some notes:

i know i want lucifer's skin to come across as "gold", so i keep picking his colour in the orange spectrum. bcs yanno--the sun (morningstar). naturally baal is more red leaning, which i think also suits his lion associated imagery well (because lion -> strength card (in tarot deck) -> red. idk, it's how my brain is)

originally michael doesn't wear an armour. i decided last minute to put him in one because fuck it; (1) armour cool and (2) i am a masochist ig

both baal and lucifer wear lipgloss. this is entirely dedicated to rafael's (the author. not the angel.) suffering. they share lipgloss by kissing, you fools.

michael has "jellyfish" hairstyle because. the front bob kinda reminds me how catholic friars/monks in certain schoolings cut their hair in that bob hair? yknow the one?? ya?? anyway it's for that imagery.

both baal and lucifer's legs are caging michael. bcs they're what ground him (vices/temptations) ahahahahaa

i actually asked rafael (author not the angel) and he said he imagined baal is a brunette, which is the same like i had in mind. except that baal asked that he got depicted as a wizened old man/wizard. so now he gets a beard and his hair is white. (he also insisted i gave him a stylish beard)

if u look closely at the jewelries the demons wore; one of lucifer's rings and baal's visible earring have gemstones the colour of michael's eyes

in return, michael's sash is the colour of the demons

baal has a ring with heliodor (yellow) for lucifer, and lucifer has a(nother) ring with red ruby for baal

baal's other gemstones are topaz and lucifer's are yellow jasper

both demons have pearl necklaces. they're supposed to represent michael('s wings ahahahahahaahaha)

my headcanon is that michael's wings are brown like sparrow's actually. BUT during the war, god gave him more power and authority and my understanding is that he got tempered into a perfect sword; so his wings turned white. when book 3 came out and they finally bang (I FUCKING HOPE THEY DO. RAFAEL. THIS IS FOR YOU RAFAEL.) his wings will turn brown againehehhehe

lucifer's coat has wing-like cut at the ends to represent his no longer existing wingsbye

michael is blue because one time i shared this imagery with rafael; michael wearing blue because of the same reason virgin mary is depicted in blue. god's favourites are in blue; fated to suffer and be left behind.

fin.

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operafantomet · 3 months

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I was asked in a PM how I would rate the different non-replica versions. Well. I have different level of knowledge about them. I have seen three of them live, I have seen a lot of full videos of other, while a handful haven't really interested me so I only know them through photos and short clips. And from that you can't make a fair ranking. But if stunting it - and also really assuming they all had equally great casts - I'd say something like this:

1. HUNGARY: I will always give this production props for being the first non-replica production, and a beautiful one. Very eerie and moody set design, and overall a colour scheme reminding of Maria Bjørnson's but with individual details. It was like looking at the Palais Garnier from another angle. My only main complain is that I like the costume sketches a lot more than then actual costumes. But first and foremost, MOODY. Yes.

2. ROMANIA/NORWAY/GREECE/MIDDLE EAST: As such a bit difficult to rate it as a whole, as the Romanian production was a prototype massively pimped for the Norwegian premiere, and also slightly changed for the following productions. But if judging from the Norwegian production which I saw numerous times, it was all in, with the wildest chandelier crash, nice effects overall, a clear vision in the directing, and nice choreography. This too a take on the Palais Garnier which tried to find other angles and aspects than what Bjørnson did.

3. ITALY / SPAIN / MEDITERRANEAN: Beautiful, creative and very Phantom-y. This too seems to reflect on the Palais Garnier, if a bit more abstracted than the ones above. Props for three equally strong leads, not merely in the acting but also directing.

4. SYDNEY HARBOUR, AUSTRALIA: Humongous outdoor set! The same hint of fragmenter grander pieces as Bjørnson did so well. Colourful, an abundance of details, drapes, ideas. Flames! Floating gondolas! And a performance that went on regardless of massive rainstorms. With a backdrop of the evening sky and the Sydney Opera House. Gotta love it all.

5. POLAND: I like it more now than when it first premiered. I was disappointed it stuck so close to the 2004 movie, in terms of direcing, costume design and tweaks (the sword fight in the Mausoleum scene, for example). But I do appreciate the set design a lot, and the production also feature a kick-ass chandelier crash. Here for it!

6. KRISTIANSTAD, SWEDEN: A thoroughly original production, utilizing the small-ish stage to full effect. I was impressed by how much they made out of little, and how different it appeared life compared to photos. Even if the sets were clever, the golden moments of this production was in the smaller details, I felt. And I loved it.

7. CZECH REPUBLIC: Colourful, loud and brassy design, and one functioning inside a pyramide shaped theatre. Fascinating, if a bit... wobbly. But passionate.

8. RESTAGED TOUR: I mean, Maria Bjørnson's costumes (plus/minus). And very professionally executed. Some clever ideas for the staging and directing, and I do enjoy the overall idea of the drum set. But I don't think the busy sets and the ornate costumes is a good match. I wish they'd made a brand new costume design more suited for the sets. I also have massive issues with the portrayals of the Phantom, Christine and Raoul, both separately and their dynamics. In total a love/hate relationship.

9. ESTONIA: Another thoroughly original production, set between WW1 and WW2, with a local spin, an eternal winter, and a costume design reflecting on Vivienne Westwood and 1990s couture in general. The set design is angled, featuring a stage-on-stage in the back, and boxes at the sides. I like this production more on an intellectual level than really feeling it.

10. NEW ROMANIAN PRODUCTION: Rich AI based look, but oh! So crowded. I enjoy seeing a scene here and there, but seeing several is like eating a whole bag of candy: too much. I do however enjoy it in smaller portions, and I want to give props for being the first to do AI design in Phantom land.

11. FINLAND/SWEDEN: Some of the sets are awesome. But the overall staging feels so alien, and the 1980s costumes and the Phantom's gold mask is killing me. I can't. Kudos for huge opera orchestra, though!

12. BULGARIA: Too print and projection heavy for my liking, some LEGO like set pieces (including the chandelier and monkey musical box) and a costume design I'm understand very little of. This one just ain't for me and that is OK.

13. SERBIA: Oh Serbia. I don't understand you. I don't understand your vibe, your 1990s costume design, your bridge-and-cube set design. I... can't.

(and this is of course a highly subjective ranking based on my preferences and my limited knowledge of ome of the productions - it might change if I see more of them live later on)

#phantom of the opera #non replica #scenography #costume design #set design

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scholastic-dragon · 1 year

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Yo! Just a thought I had after seeing a tumblr print at Pinterest and realizing how strong the bay verse turtles are

What if one day they were commenting about the movies events with April and their crush(didn't confess yet-) and said crush got high key low key scared and attracted by how strong they are? Idk how to put it in words but the crush just sometimes watch them from afar when they're training or even fighting fr if they get the chance to

Happy Holiday's! ^^

Bro I feel this, why is it so attractive how strong they are!?!?

Anyway

Bay!Turtle of Choice x Gn!reader

Hercules? Honey you mean Hunk-ules

You stared baffled at April's laptop, looking between it and her equally as shocked face.

"That's the tower they climbed up and jumped off of to get to Kraangs ship?!" You gawked. That building was huge! And they had to be hundreds of feet up in the air.

"Right, and Mikey told me they fault this alien that looked like gum in a giant robot suit," April spun the laptop back towards her.

"Wow," You murmur silently, taking a sip of your water. That must've been massive jumps and leaps to even get on the ship, not to mention the actual battle, and yet they returned as if it was merely an evening walk!

"They must be super strong,"

"Oh they are, Raphs bench pressed me before and didn't even break a sweat," April laughed, closing her laptop.

Shoot you said that out loud.

Also

"I'm sorry, did you just say Raph bench pressed you?!" Suddenly you need more water.

April laughed, clearly not affected as you were. "Casey and Raph made a bet, I honeslty can't even remember what it was, but Case lost and to prove he's a 'manly man' Raph bench pressed me," She did a comically deeper voice and laughed harder to herself.

Your throat was very very dry now.

"Yeah, they do things so easily that sometimes you forget that it's hard for normal people," You laugh, twisting your water bottle in your palms.

You lean toward her, voice a small whisper: after all, you were in the turtles dining room waiting for them to get home from patrol. "Can I confess something a bit weird?"

April raised a reporters brow, sitting back in her chair and smiling wide. "Go ahead,"

"Is it....weird that I find their strength kinda.....kinda attractive? Like Leo invited me to watch training the other day and I literally had to wipe drool of my chin," You laugh to yourself, feeling slightly embarrassed. "It's just freaky impressive, you know?"

April had a knowing smile on her face. "Yeah, I get it, you know, when Casey and I first met, we took out a group of foot soldiers together, strength is kinda attractive,"

"I'm glad you don't think I'm crazy,"

April leaned forward, putting her hand on yours. "No, I think you're crazy for not admitting your feelings for my brother yet," She tapped your hand with a wicked smile, then stood abruptly shoving open the dining room door to reveal said brother and crush.

He stood there wide eyed at being caught with a sheepish look on his face.

"Good luck!" April tapped his shoulder as she squeezed around him.

He rubbed the back of his neck and stepped into the room.

"Training really made you drool, huh?"

Oh dear god

tags: @thelaundrybitch @turtle-babe83 @post-apocalyptic-daydream @strawberrycakeblog @sketch-and-write-lover @mysticboombox @dilucsflame33

#hehhehehehe #i hope you all enjoy the title #CAUSE ITS TRUE #them boys be strong and buff as hell #they got curves in all the right places #tmnt #tmnt bayverse #tmnt 2014 #tmnt 2016 #tmnt donnie #tmnt leo #tmnt raph #tmnt mikey #turtle of choice #tmnt x reader #april o'neil #tmnt headcannons

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absolutebl · 1 year

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Well from your recent posts I've gathered that you are not a Big (with a capital B yes) fan of A Boss and a Babe so it's probly safe to say this . The reason i haven't watched this series is bcz I find the leads eerily similar looking?? Like if not siblings but atleast like distant cousins ??? Idk why but i can't unsee it now. Help .

Oh I don't think they look alike at all. Sorry, I don't know how to help you.

Maybe focus on specific features? Think of it like you were sketching them as a portrait artist? Like they have different mouth shape, eye shape/placement, cheekbones, and hair lines. Force (left) has a thinner straighter mouth more sculpted, slightly higher more prominent cheekbones, much heavier lidded eyes (he looks sultry and sleepy most of the time), slightly broader nose, longer face over all, and a prominent Adam's apple.

Book (right) has more delicate and finer features, his face is more heart-shaped and proportions are different (where his features fall on his face), smaller slightly pouty mouth, thinner nose, slightly rounder cheeks, close but less deep-set eyes. He's also lighter skinned. For all these reasons he's cast as the uke in their shows, as they are pretty much the same height, age (Book is actually a little older), and deferential politeness IRL, it could have gone either way.

(I don't make the rules, the yaoi gods do.)

Your Moment of Academia

If you're still struggling, there could be more/other reasons for this.

There is something called the Cross-race effect which may be impacting you. (The way to train your brain out of this one is to just keep watching tons of dramas, fashion, MVs made by cultures not your own. More info and discussion on this in this episode of All in the Mind podcast: The human drive to connect – and divide)

There's also Prosopagnosia to consider, although that's a lot rarer than modern peeps make it out to be.

I've also always felt like Dunbar's number may come into play with this kind of thing too. Like perhaps the human brain just has a limited max capacity for facial recognition storage.

So you might do better if you focus on their mannerisms and way of speaking which are completely different. (Siblings usually share vocality and mannerisms especially if they were raised together.) Body language and their way of holding themselves, smiles, eye crinkles, use of eyebrows, etc... Very few actors can move on from these tells.

Book has a more mobile face (which is why he suits comedy so well) but Force's is more emotive and expressive in nuance. He's uses more micro-movements, like little eye crinkles and a little crooked smile.

Their voices are very similar, but Force's is more burred, and a little more monotone (rare in Thai). He has a mellow soft way of speaking especially around the ubiquitous krap. Book has a rounder, wetter way of speaking, his kraps are more sharp and clipped.

All that said, IMHO you don't have to bother to watch either of ForceBook's series. So far this pair has been ill served by GMMTV. So if it wigs you out, there is plenty other, better BL.

Also if you want to actually watch a BL where the characters are some iteration of siblings, I'm sure Japan is there for you. If not, there's always the stepbrothers trope...

I have to say, I tend to way MORE annoyed when characters in a show who are meant to be siblings look absolutely nothing alike. Like bone-structure level "qua?" I know blood siblings don't always look alike, but they rarely look so completely different as we often get in TV or film the world over.

Way back, I did a series of actors in BL who I thought SHOULD play brothers and these are my favorites:

Mark Siwat Jumlongkul and War Wanarat Ratsameerat.

Now those two boys look related. To me, anyway.

(source)

#asked and answered #probably with more information than you wanted #ABL gets academic #BL and anthropology #BL and sociology #Thai BL #ForceBook #a boss and a babe #Enchante #Mark Siwat #War Wanarat

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the-batacombs · 7 months

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Thinking about Jason. I don't know why, he hasn't had a serious turn in my head yet, I guess. Also the half-argument from...Batman 137? where they're yelling about like, death and crime and utilitarianism -- that got stuck in my head.

Anyway it lines up with this other issue I have with DC comics, which is that the way they write Batman sometimes feels...deeply hypocritical? Other heroes kill people and fight violent criminals but aren't enmeshed in a deep dark tragic space where they're always apparently two steps away from turning into a deeply immoral/abusive/totalitarian figure. But future/AU Batmen are routinely stuck in this box. As far as I can tell, the potential reasons are

(a) there's something wrong with Gotham. (This is what's happening in the current 'Tec run, I think, and exists in all the "Gotham eats her children" headcanons.)

(b) Gotham's villain-hero landscape is uniquely disturbing and eats away at the souls of its participants. (??? I guess? This feels silly unless it's explained by (a), and fairly boring as a basis for storytelling, at least to me.)

(c) Bruce Wayne is has a uniquely sensitive empathetic response, and is probably really poorly suited to a life with this much violence, and all of it just hits him harder than it does the other heroes; people like Bruce tend to self-select out, and Bruce is just stubborn.

Wonder Woman kills people and the WW writers don't throw themselves all over the page talking about how Wonder Woman is going to succumb to a life of violence and trauma. (I mean, maybe sometimes they do. I'm woefully under-read on WW, but I'm confident enough in this assertion to put it here. Corrections welcome!)

So like...what's up with Batman? Future!Batman!Tim and future!Batman!Damian get this treatment as well, sometimes, and that's also baffling -- because Bruce Wayne, so far, hasn't succumbed to the kind of deeply immoral/abusive/totalitarian figure that DC likes to portray as just lurking around the corner. Is he uniquely able to withstand the pressure of the role? (Well, Bruce and Dick Grayson, of course.)

And with Jason...I do get Bruce's position. A death is a death is a death and at its heart (thank you Kingdom Come), Bruce is just trying to make it so that no one dies. Jason has a utilitarian point, as is sketched out in Batman 137, but it seems clear the actual issue is simply that his ethical position is different from Batman's. Jason thinks a death can be justified; Bruce doesn't.

(Are there any Cass and Jason comics? Because I would love love to see a Cass "ripped the bat off of Kate's costume" Cain and a Jason Todd ideological clash.)

(Why are Cass and Jason on the same side of Gotham War? DC, did you think this through?)

But, see: Batman works with Wonder Woman. Batman adores Wonder Woman. He may disagree with her methods, but that doesn't prevent Trinity team-up after intergalactic mission after them all showing up in each other's comics. So why are Batman and the Red Hood constantly at each other's throats? / Or -- why does DC seem to act as if there is no solution? / Why can't Batman work alongside the Red Hood? Some thoughts:

(a) The paternalism issue; Bruce considers himself uniquely responsible for Jason's actions, and his stepping aside as condoning them. The feels like an easy solution: Bruce Wayne's kid is not a kid anymore. He can make his own decisions.

(b) Gotham again. What other people do in other cities is their own business, but Gotham is Batman's city and he's not going to stand by and let Gothamites be killed. (Counterpoint: Kate? I haven't read any Batwoman but the extent to which DC keeps these separate is wild.)

(c) Jason refuses to consider a team-up without Batman's concession to his methods/refuses to change his methods in the interests of temporary peace. (Valid as an interpersonal stance but I thought we did this already in Urban Legends? Maybe not.)

Anyway I don't have a solution to this yet but I'm pretty sure Wonder Woman is the key. It'll probably come out as a fanfic by the end of the year; I've got a title already, so it had better.

#jason todd #red hood #robin ii #batman #bruce wayne #wonder woman #I'm literally just thinking aloud here #everyone acts like it's impossible to solve and someone has to cave but I don't think that's exactly it #it's like -- yeah do I think they're going to come around to the same page? no. do I want them to? also no.#but do I think they could reconcile? yes.#I want them to both maintain their positions and have their primary conflict change and develop #rather than rehashing the shape of the same fight again and again #I'm also not as well-read as a lot of you #I'm working on it but it's slow #so if I say something demonstrably wrong you're welcome to provide a correction #anyway opinions change and all and I might have a different perspective in eight months but I've been thinking about this a fair amount #lately

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ozymandiasdirge · 3 months

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okay now that i'm officially into fishman island time for Opinions™️ on post-timeskip strawhat design

luffy!!!

actually starting off very strong. i like that it's just a natural evolution of his og design but with some extra flourishes to show that he's matured w/ the scar on display. the cardigan is very cute and i like that they went with yellow for the sash for the tie-in to his ASL color. mwah. 10/10 no notes. oda cooked.

zoro

another one that i mostly really like. zoro is the most heavily japanese-coded of the strawhats it makes sense to lean more heavily into it with the cut of his coat and keeping his haramaki given how much wano-focus the second half of one piece has. i'm not gonna lie i think his silhoutte pre-timeskip was much cleaner and for a character like zoro i think simpler works better, but also.....i can see his tits out now......there are definitely things i liked about his pre-timeskip deisgn better but i still like this one nonetheless. and also i know his fit changes later so 8/10

nami

oh boy......well i will start with the positives. i actually do like the long hair. i don't like it better than her shag/cute pig tails but i do think it looks nice and i like the waves. i also like the jeans with the big fuck off heels because they scream 2011 to me <3 the bikini top is.....look if it was just a cute hanging out look i would love it i'm from california i know plenty of people who rock that look regularly but im sorry that combined with her going from like a b-cup to an e is deeply aggravating for reasons that have been discussed by plenty of other people. let her go back to her cute cotton t-shirts or her thriller bark sweaters. 6/10

usopp

my boy is jacked now!!!! good for him!!!! another kind of mixed bag. i like the colors but the design of the overalls feels a little busy to me personally. i love his hair being grown out but i miss the goggles being on top and i feel like you need to pick one or the other with the hat, again it's a little too busy between the hat and the goggles and the earphones. but there's nothing i actively dislike here i think it just needs a little fine-tuning 7/10

sanji

i'm going to keep it real with yall until oda said something in the SBS i thought the gag was that sanji's design hadn't changed at all 😭😭😭. also im actively having to suffer through his fishman island story-arc but there really isn't much for me to comment on. his facial hair hits the line-cook vibe im deeply surprised he can grow it and the suit is still a good design choice. nothing was gained and nothing was lost. so 8/10 i guess???

chopper

i know people have strong feelings about the kawaii-ification of chopper's design but i can't hate it because it's him and i love him to much. i do think it was a huge missed opportunity not to age him up a little because it's a little silly that he looks younger now than he did in drum island but as for the actual design itself it's not bad. i miss the style of his jamiroquai hat, but i like the fact that he wears cute little shirts now. 7/10

robin

SIGHHHHHH. i miss her bangs...i miss her melanin...i miss her goth swag. look this is mainly such a hit for me because 1) i saw all of oda's sketches and literally every other design he had for robin was better than the one he ended up going with. 2) between her alabasta, water 7/enies lobby, and thriller bark fits she reigned supreme among the fashionistas her drip was unparalleled. there isn't anything in her new design that screams robin to me. like if she was wearing the tied-up shirt with some capris i can see something but i don't know if this whole beachy look was because of fishman island or what but i just.....i'm not a fan. like they even could have tied in some of the aesthetics of the rest of the revolutionaries but this feels like just straight fanservice ove character design and im really not a fan. thankfully her dressrosa fit is completely gamechanging but that's not what we're ranking. im sorry queen. 3/10

franky

franky onepiece im so sorry but.....i really don't like this. his pre-timeskip design fucked SO HARD. the elvis motif. the speedo and hawaiian shirts. it was so silly and so memorable and i miss it!!!! i know he's trying to work the timeskip into the design like i just suggested he should have done with robin but it's just....it's a lot. feel like the gag would have been funnier if franky looks mostly the same and his body can just do all the stuff it can do now but what do i know. i do like the bit of his hairstyle changing every arc that's cute. 1/10

brook

thank god we're ending on a high note it was getting dire. i love this. he looks like the coolest grandpa at the club and it's so fun. the patterned pants with the still black suit jacket are so fun and i love some fun sunglasses. literally taking his pre-timeskip design and working his character growth into it, why did he not do this for everyone. anyway 10/10

#one piece

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bellmo15-blog · 9 days

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Naga Mikaela's Trade Offer

And here we have some more old art from ol Ammer done for me. This time the very first sketch drawing from him. And just like how the Fully Detailed pic of that month was of my sona, this one was of another one of my main OC's, Mikaela (Naga AU version!) Insert you George Lucas meme about poetry here. I mean it's still technically May 4th somewhere in the world so it'd fit.

Do you remember that trade offer meme from a few years ago? You know, the meme of that guy in the fancy business suit making a trade offer which lead to a bunch of memes and edits online? I do. I thought it could be fun to get a pic of a hypnotic serpent doing that. And honestly I could end this description right here if I wanted to because just me saying that under this pic speaks for itself! Naga Mikaela doing the trade offer meme. Sadly for like I bet a majority of you people reading this it's an exclusive trade offer and one I doubt Naga Mikaela would make to most of you.

Naga Mikaela: I don't know, with the way some people are actually thirsty for both me and my human counterpart despite the fact that you've gone out of your way to let them know her and I are canonically lesbians they would probaply be wanting me to make this offer to them anyway. And then kiss them lovingly on the cheeks. Because of course they would.

Hey it could be worse. At least they aren't forcing themselves onto you like some clingy stalker who can't take the hint your not interested in them.

NM: .........

... Some clingy stalker who can't take the hint your not interested in them has tried forcing themselves onto you back in your own universe, haven't they?

NM: Yep. Thankfully, one of the many benifits of having hypnosis is that it's an easy solution to any problem. Speaking off *eyes start glowing a hypnotic colour* Aren't you in the middle of binge watching Invincible right now? Why not go continue that ssshow your clearly enjoying?

... @.@ Yes mistress......

NM: Now that he's gone, yeah looking back this is a pretty amusing pic. And I must say, I love how I was drawn in this one. Little wonder Bellmo is supporting this guy on Ko-Fi. Say, do you think Ameer would notice if I took over this account and asked him to draw nothing but me while pretending I'm Bellmo? After all, he did such a good job on this pic, why stop at him drawing me only once, heh heh heh. Say, how would you all like to make a trade offer right now? I receive: a watcher to admire the stuff I get of myself... And maybe some other characters two. You receive: More commissioned drawings requested by me! NOT BellmoTheGreat, ME! Oh if only I could hypnotise you all though text.

NM: Artist is AmmerAshourDraws.

#OC #Hypnosis #Coils

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jenuinedog · 2 years

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Hi! Anon from before who asked about fluidity and such, I have another question: How do you learn to angle heads / do different perspectives?

Did you take classes, use 3D models, or something else?

So sorry for all the questions, I really want to get better at angles and posing and such - facial expressions are a breeze for me, but I just can't keep proportions, anatomy, or poses right in my head.

TL,dr, how did you learn about all this stuff?

Don't be sorry! Asking questions is how u learn! Lil disclaimer that i'm sorry in advance if this answer seems kinda vapid and lackadaisical :")

I've never taken art classes of any kind in my life. A lot of what I know is from observing how other artists draw and tweaking their processes to something that'll suit my workflow and style better. I admittedly don't use 3D models as often as I should, but they speed up the process IMMENSELY. Sometimes i'll load up a model posing program and use it for just the hands/fingers LOL. It's actually helped me be more aware of how to segment parts of the body so I can "memorize" them a bit better. I actually cannot picture most things in my head properly, so I struggle with keeping tabs on proportions and angles of shapes and poses mentally too 😭

A fun lil trick I do to help with head angles tho that might help is i'll draw a "sheet" of paper over my main head form:

For some reason, i've found that this helps me visualize where the face goes and where it fits within a 3D space. As long as i know the general direction the oc is facing, I can bend and stretch stuff to fit as need be. IDK it's a simple way for me to keep track while drawing, and pretty effective too! 👇🏽

ok these are sloppy n off model a bit, but hopefully you can see what i'm getting at ghjsdfg. I've found making the "sheet" bigger/smaller to suit whatever you're drawing can help narrow down the angle better if you're struggling. Thinking of the construction of shapes and how they sit in a 3D space is helpful too. Most art programs have perspective rulers that you can use to keep a kind of guide of where your drawing is sitting on a perspective plane/grid. I use them when trying to do more dynamic postures!

Other than that, I literally just google/youtube whatever it is i'm trying to work on and click through as many resources as I can. Make notes of what works for me, what doesnt, what I can pick apart and reconstruct. I got my start in art by tracing other people's art onto printer paper when i was younger (never shared 'em, obvs) before learning people posted step-by-step processes of how they draw on dA (it's how I learned what "guidelines" where and how to use them in sketching) and using those. I spent a lot of my more formative years just mimicking other people's drawing habits and quirks until I found a set that worked for me, and expanded on that with just messing around in my spare time. Sometimes the only thing that helps is working through it until I get a result I like.

If you are looking for a more technical approach and wouldn't mind some critique on your stuff, I recommend a site called Drawabox.com ! I've never personally used it, but I have artist friends who have, and while it does cost a fee to access some of the video lessons, there are still a bit of free resources you can take a peek on that might help!!

SORRY FOR THIS LAME ANSWER HFGSHDF I have a very flippant approach to my art. Work smart, not hard as I always say 👌🏽👏🏽

Good luck!!

#asks #tutorials #i literally just fuck around n find out im sorry 😭

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miyuecakes-moved · 10 months

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I agree the fandom caring more about background canon white characters or white original characters than they care about major characters of color is a huge sign of racism (which they don't/can't acknowledge). I feel guilt because I couldn't bring myself to like/reblog the belgrade conference art, because it features a politician/country who did vile things to my people (it wasn't that long ago) and encouraged his people who already hated mine to wage a genocide against us. I know it's not very well-known so I don't hold any bad feeling towards you! Also I doubt this is the reason for most people why they didn't engage with that piece in particular, but rather racism :(

nah don't feel bad lmao i know that the majority of the figures featured in the belgrade piece are war criminals (i like to say that generally all politicians are war criminals). the only reason why i chose that specific composition was because it's a historical document for NAM + featured national representatives. it's actually why for a lot of the characters i opted to change their outfits from a military uniform to a suit...cause....yanno... ;>_>

it isn't really about that piece in particular, i just used it as an example since it fits the criteria of what should be popular (history related and contains many characters). it is more so about the fact that my 1.5 hour amelia sketch is my second-best performing post as opposed to literally the rest of my gallery which is predominantly POC

#not art #disk horse #maybe?#anonymous #ask

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nagirambles · 2 years

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Okay, so I wanna go on for a bit here.

In the Dragon cry sketches, we actually saw Mashima draw a suit as Capricorn's SD which was actually perfect for his taste and clothing choice. AND his own personality. But Mashima also drew another SD, which was most probably a Draco constellation dress, not sure. And I'm most definitely sure he merged the two designs to come up with the current one.

Personally, as a dress I love the design of the current one but as a SD of a spirit like Capricorn, it is awful and doesn't make sense at all. Like I agree that the dresses are to reflect the personalities and choices of the spirits themselves. Capricorn choosing a outfit like that doesn't sit right with me.

Ofc Leo's would be a gorgeous gown, Aries' would be a cute and soft and fluffy dress, Taurus' would be a sexy one(tho I'd have loved if Lucy got a jacket with the bikini top), Saguttarius' would be a beautiful green shooter-type(I actually love how the anime added extra black leggings), Virgo's would be a maid costume, the Aquarius one being bikini makes sense, Cancer's is the most amazing with Lucy having twin blades to counter the enemies(and I'd have loved to see Cancer wield big scissors instead of the small ones). AND then the Gemini and Scorpio designs are my most fav ones (as SDs). A badass hairtyle like Scorpio and a red scorpion tail to top it off. The Gemini one actually goes with their magic type since it's actually a lot like real magic, how they copy people and transform. So the magician-ish dress is perfect!

But did you see the AxS design, I hate it even more than the AxG one. The design makes even less sense than the recent one. It looks like a nonsensical costume that seems like can do heavy lifting but actually can't. Lucy has literally no use of those robot-ish parts of the mix. It was used as a way of adding some unwanted fanservice. And with the recent mix, I have lost hope of getting proper outfits. At this point I don't want any, literally any SD to merge with Aquarius. It'll inevitably ruin the dress.

The most modest ones like Scorpio's and Gemini's unique outfits turned into a sturdy bikini and the other one a glittering bikini made me give up hope. I don't even look at outfits now, only consider her achievements. I've talked about it many times how ridiculous it seems for Lucy to suddenly loose her clothes in a battle. I'm tired of it now.

But I've seen many people say, "Lucy did nothing except get naked" or "Laxus did all the work" or "she's JUST fanservice and no might" and I do think they're the vocal Lucy haters. But in general, people complaining about the dress mix aren't them. And I share the same feelings.

Oh dear, you are so right on all this.

Capricorn’s SD is really sad to see. I begrudgingly admit it’s kinda cool as it is, not going to lie, love the glasses and the braids and the sexy mature cut on the dress, it manages to set itself apart from Loke’s despite both being off-shoudler dresses, but it just... why, Mashima? Why? Capricorn would never approve of this! Where is the super serious butler that respected Layla? Layla (and Anna, now that I think about it) are some of the most modestly-dressed women in the show, so I definitely believe Capricorn would want Lucy to dress like them simply because he knows she’ll look good in it.

Yes! the base star dresses all look beautiful. I do think some of them could be better or more developed to the spirits (Cancer and Sagittarius are a bit strange because they don’t match the spirit appearances at all, but eh, that’s details), but as single designs, they are all wonderful for what they are, Capricorn aside. I love Aquarius’ the most because it’s a bikini, but it’s at least more functional and comfortable than panties and a bra. It’s a really good balance between fanservice and genuinely something I’d want to wear if I had the assets to pull it off. I love that some of them gave Lucy more combat abilities as well (Cancer, for example). I do kind of wish Loke’s was a bit more functional though, since his main thing is close combat. But it makes sense for him, so it’s fine. The concept of the dresses is just so fun. I could talk about them, both positively and negatively, forever.

Oh dear I agree. AxS is awful. There was way too much robot against the stupid swimsuit and it just looked bad. But I at least appreciated the creativity, you know? Honestly, I feel we could have found a balance with a thinner tail or shorter glove/boots, Mashima just didn’t try too hard since it only showed for a panel or two. It needs to be reworked so badly.

AxG was just a swimsuit. Just a swimsuit. They couldn’t even retain any of the magician/clown parts of Gemini, that seriously annoys me! And Aquarius’ contribution is even worse, does Mashima know that mermaid-cut dresses exist? MERMAID? Aquarius can be something other than a typical swimsuit, geez! And they can be ASYMMETRICAL and layered, too! It’s perfect for a Gemini fusion!

I think it’d have been great if the fusions weren’t literally mixing them together, but the product of “what would both spirits give Lucy?” Honestly, I think among the spirits, Aquarius and Scorpio are totally the type to give you crap about your fashion sense. Aquarius is a very girly girl, and Scorpio is a rockstar! Choosing what to give Lucy as a fusion star dress would be like, a funny way to actually give these two depth in their relationship. Like, their first time ever having a disagreement.

...I wish the spirits still got personality exploration... I’m sad now...

As for your final point-- you know what? You’re right. Haters gonna hate on that regard. Love to see Lucy finishing a battle on her own, and it’s sad that even after coming this far and going as far as using the spirits’ powers, her achievements are still credited to the damn guys around her. People who think that way are never going to change their minds, they’ve already decided what they think about it.

#it's an ask #just a ramble #the menace celestials #fairy tail #it's a headcanon

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naughtygirl286 · 9 months

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So This past Tuesday we went to see the new Ninja Turtles we were originally suppose to go see Oppenheimer but plans changed last minute so we ended up going to see Ninja Turtles. I was very interested in this movie and followed it production. Much like Transformers I'm a life long Turtles fan so I was curious about it being I think Turtles stuff should look a certain way and somethings that have been done in recent years such as Rise of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles I didn't like. I never watched an episode but I just think the character designs look like shit and I wasn't going to watch it becasue of that anyway on as for this movie I needed to see the character designs for this movie before I would do anything and happy to say I did like these designs but more on that below. Also yes there was some collectable goodies for this movie too which you can see here!

Now as for this movie. I thought it was great! I would have to say that I did enjoy it it was fun and funny at times and I do feel it has a nice message about family and acceptance and finding a place where you feel like you belong in the world.

Now this is a bit of a origin story and tries to reintroduce the turtles to a new and modern audiences. They are younger in this movie then they usually are in other forms of media the turtles are all 15 years old and not only that but April is also in her teens in this as well she is also around 15 and is still in High School in this movie

The Turtles origin is of course slightly different in this one. It is close to the familiar way the Turtles become mutants but its slightly changed as in how they became Ninjas. Also the origins of the other Mutant characters in this is changed as well. I think that did that just for the sake of the story and it does work in the context of this movies story.

As for the designs of the characters which as I mentioned was a very important thing I felt that the Turtle designs in this were actually very good they were different and did match the ages that the Turtles were shown as they were young and child like almost playing up the "Teenage" aspect of who they are. Some of the other characters looked great too like Bebop and Rocksteady and I love how they brought in various characters from Turtles lore like Leatherhead,Mondo Gecko, Wingnut (what no screwloose??), Genghis Frog, Ray Fillet, and more. Where its great that alot of these classic character appear on screen many of them don't look like their source material counterparts which is kind of a shame.

Now also another thing is the whole new April in this. She was alright for this she was written well and well voice acted and an interesting character in how she is presented. Now I could have done with out the whole puking stuff which was just a bit gross but also I know alot of people complained about her appearance and I can't say I would complain about it myself but I am a bit more old school and do prefer the more classic April with the short red hair and yellow track suit lol but this April was fine for this version of the characters.

Now like I said the movie is pretty great it was a lil bit funny and a lil bit weird but like I said it also nice message about family and acceptance and finding a place where you feel like you belong in the world. The animation was very nice and smooth and the artistic style of the movie where it all looks like it is sketched and painted to have that more comic book look and feel kinda reminded me of how the Spider-Verse movies look. but the voice acting and the music as well as the many references are really nicely done.

I feel the ending of the movie tho is a bit strange where they took it but over all I thought it was great and if you are a Turtle fan then I would probably recommend it.

also there is a mid credit sequence that is interesting and kinda sets up a possible sequel.

#teenage mutant ninja turtles #ninja turtles #tmnt #teenage mutant ninja turtles movies #teenage mutant ninja turtles movie series #teenage mutant ninja turtles animated #teenage mutant ninja turtles animated movie #Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Mutant Mayhem #Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Mutant Mayhem #Mutant Mayhem

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ashtonisrottting · 2 years

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[this is just useless venting, nothing relevant]

nana, do you remember how i heard this music in a looping after you died? i spent 5 months just listening to it and thinking about how I'd light up every single corner of this world so you wouldn't be in the dark, almost falling because you're as clumsy as i am –or, worse, looking for a sign that someone actually cared about you.

I'm very sorry for not being the granddaughter you wanted and I'm even more sorry for the person I've become but... maybe we could talk about it now?

[i thought about starting with all the bad things and then going with the good ones, but i think it's enough that i can acknowledge what these things are; i don't have to bother you with them] so... I'll do a list? it's more organized for me.

did you know i cut my hair? not I'm all curls and i love it! it's much lighter than strengthening it every weekend.

i don't wear rings anymore because my fingers are thinner, but I'm all bracelets and necklaces. (i kept the rings i got from you and i kept the heart necklace i found one week after you died. they're in my safe box now :))

i miss your cornmeal cake. i never ate it after you died. (and i never ate chicken soup and cassava broth ever again. it reminds me of you and how you puked all over the plate i handed you because the pills were making you feel bad; it's like being 12 all over again and feeling incredibly guilty for being the one that handed you that plate; i can't take it.)

i changed rooms and... your grandson, Icarus, he doesn't talk to me anymore. i think he hates my guts but that's alright; i hate his too.

I'm more quiet now and more... polite. people say I look much older and all i can think about is how young dancing with you, barefoot in your living room, made me feel. (i wish we could dance again.)

i hate dresses? and i don't wear nothing that is sleeveless. if you somehow know the reason, I'm sorry I'm not better than that.

i know how to cook and it really calms me down like nothing else. (i want to make cupcakes for you to try one day)

i graduated in highschool but i didn't go to prom. it was a small thing in the city's cinema and i just... people there didn't like me very much, y'know? I'd feel weird and i didn't have a suit to go.

there was no 15 birthday. it would be pointless if you weren't there. (i was only going to do something because you said you wanted to give me a ring and make sure I knew i could be a woman and you precious little girls forever)

I'm addicted to books? i think you'd find it funny the amount of paper and things i carry around because of them. i take notes of everything and I'm always sketching my thoughts... I'd like to share some of them with you.

i didn't learn how to comb my hair –I still have a heavy hand and I still pull out tufts of hair for lack of patience. I'd like to have you doing it for me. I'd teach you how to use every combing cream and I'd go to your house 3 days a week so you could do it for me.

I'd like to sleep by your side one last time to hear you breathing and snoring and mumbling incoherent things.

i want to hear you singing again and i need to hear your voice. i forgot about it nana. i forgot how you sound like.

I'm sorry I'm not the girl you wanted me to be. you deserved better.

I'm sorry for everything in general. i think things could've been better, y'know? i lost so much time with you. i never really thought you would be gone some day and I'd never taste your coffee or your cakes ever again. i was selfish and annoyingly... childish. i should've been smart enough to see that you're the only person in this family that's worth remembering. I'm sorry

I'm sorry, so sorry. i know you won't ever know these things because you're gone –youre not even a bag of bones at this point–, but I'd still like to apologize. i should've accepted your love back then –i should've known it was going to be the first and last genuine feeling anyone would be capable to have towards me

#i miss you so much nana #:(#we're 24 days away from your birthday #we're two months ahead of your deathversary #vent #Spotify

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hypahfixations · 2 years

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So something I haven't heard other people talk about for Our Flag Means Death, and it's entirely possible I totally just missed it in the vast expanse that is fandom on tumblr, but I find it interesting who of the Revenge Ed specifically chooses in the end.

((So here's your spoiler warning if you haven't watched the show yet))

Anywhoozle it's been lingering in the back of my brain why, when Ed transforms himself into The Kraken and is literally throwing away everything tied to Stede including the crew, he had specific interactions with Lucius, Jim and Frenchie.

Lucius is the easiest one, right? Sure, he was snarky and defiant, not the best prospect for an underling, but he was also a fair bit cowardly when facing infliction of pain or death.

The problem was that Lucius knew too much. He could read and write and sketch - gotta keep in mind that literacy and documentation is a huge pull of power in this vaguely historical adjacent world to be sure. But more than anything Lucius was Stede's confidant, Ed's confidant; he can usually see right through anyone he has laid eyes on. Not only that but he is beloved by both crews (aside from Izzy) for both being charming and his skills.

And if the Kraken is Blackbeard's fiercest form, that simply would not do. No, having someone who would boldly remind him, and everyone else, of his soft heart would be bad for his renewed image. So overboard the boy must go.

Next we see Jim being summoned to the stripped and darkened captains quarters. Jim is world's away the strongest combatant of the Revenge, and frankly the most competent person on the ship. They have a history of and impulse for violence, disguise, and theft. All trappings of an extraordinary pirate that, as Blackbeard mentions, would be worth watching and recruiting.

But I don't think he's fully aware of the layers that Jim has. He knows that Olu adores Jim, of course, why else would be be sure to separate the pair before seeking them out, but I doubt he knows it runs both ways. And even if he did know they finally got together, misery breeds misery; Why should Ed be the only one to have found love and then have it ripped away from him with no reasons to be found?

So the Kraken decides to take the next most powerful player off the board. If Lucius is the suite of Hearts and Jim the Ace, that makes Frenchie the Wild Card.

Frenchie can't read or write or fight. He's superstitious and gullible but specifically not stupid. He can blend into the background or hold the spotlight to execute the roles required of him. He's likeable and reliable in a way that is similar to Oluwande but where they diverge is self preservation and I feel like that makes a huge difference.

But Blackbeard isn't thinking about all that. All he asks is if Frenchie can sew.

Like I said, Frenchie isn't stupid. The guy knows how to be subservient in a way that is as beneficial as possible for him. But he's loyal to himself and part of that is being loyal to who he chooses to care about. He got out from under the thumb of the rich elite yet chose to join and remain in Stede's crew. To serve under a fancypants rich boy that turned out to be kinder than Frenchie thought possible for those types.

His loyalties lie with the rag tag group of the Revenge and that includes when Blackbeard was Ed.

I think that's going to be the one to crack through the Kraken's exterior in Season 2. Frenchie will play the role that Blackbeard wants him to play, treating him almost like a stand-in Lucius at times. Meanwhile, he's working with Jim on the sly, reforging an alliance with Fang and Ivan for when Blackbeard and the rest of them were actually happy, and perhaps even sowing the seeds of those memories in Ed in subtle ways.

#Hypah rambles #Our flag means death #Ofmd #ofmd spoilers #our flag means death spoilers #Ofmd meta #Ofmd spoilers #lucius ofmd #jim ofmd #frenchie ofmd #Do i refer to Ed as three different people? Yes he's got personas he wears #edward teach #Blackbeard #The kraken #Is this anything? Is anyone else thinking these things?#Long post

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gliphyartfan · 2 years

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Here is the rough draft for Time's full normal attire. Some headcanon notes for the design -Time hates ties. With a passion. Its a daily torture that he wears them, but he feels the difference when he is fully put together in expensive name brand suits. Please listen more. He doesn't know if it pisses him off or makes him want to mock them. (and the dream of (y/n) helping him take off the tie at the end of a hard day might be what keeps him going) -The scarf: Its a gift from Wars for one of his birthdays. At the end of the day they are brothers and despite loving the same person I feel like losing each other would be the second worst pain to feel, after losing (y/n), due to how they understand each other. Especially for Time since he waited the longest to finally finally finally have someone who understood him. How tortured he was not knowing if any of his brothers would come, if he would find (y/n). He will be found wearing presents from the others, as he doesn't really buy things for himself.

-The markings. I just never felt right when sketching if Time did not have his signature markings (same with Twilight). I feel like he would at some point dawned the mask. Surviving, especially as a kid is hard in our world. So I see many dire opportunities to need it.

-EARS. Yes I know the ears are human ears. The guys would use magic to hide it. It would be too odd for a group of gentleman to all have pointy ears and be down right fucking terrifying. Also when finally meeting (y/n) it might make her hesitant of them. (not due to anything malicious, girl just watches/reads way too many supernatural shows/movies/books to know something sus was up.) And also the whole, not draw attention to themselves thing. Ask me anything about the design, let me know if you don't like anything. Or even just questions on the art. Like I said in a comment, I'm transitioning from physical materials to digital so I understand if anything looks weird. I even have a blurb in my head of Lilah's(my y/n's) reaction to Time's meeting if anyone is interested in me writing that. I have to go ahead and apologize, my line work will never be straight and perfect. I had an accident so I have some nerve damage in my drawing hand. So just a heads up. Oh! And you can call me, Lyric!! *goes to hide and cry from embaressment.*

@yandere-linked-universe *Excited Noises* LOOK!

Holy shit. I can see his muscles inside those sleeves

You drew this?? Really??!???

And I thought your last drawing was incredible! (And it was!)

The details, the lines, the colors. (That SUIT)

His hair is a in small ponytail!! (The things that face does to me...)

Excellent color choice for him. The scarf is absolutely a perfect touch to his style.

I'm genuinely envious that you managed to draw his hand and arms so well. And LOOK at the way his body is proportioned! And his face. (His expression!)

How he's standing makes me drool. The red of the scarf just delightfully contrasting his blue inner shirt!

I agree with your Headcanons so hard!! (I honestly can't see him without his markings).

Ears? Perfect, I honestly would see them using magic to hide their ears.

Plus I honestly see Time only accepting gifts from the chain, (and (y/n)).

Time not using ties because he wants (y/n) to tie it for him? Oooh, that's gonna be something each of those boys would want. But Time? Peeeerfect!

What are his shoes? I would say boots. Steel toe Boots that can be disguised as dress shoes!

Does he hold rings? Maybe Legend gives them a magic ring for protection?

I know if she gives them a gift, if they can wear it, it's a permanent accessory for them.

You have writing? Please share! I genuinely enjoy other people's work! The world is waiting for your creativity!

Thank you so much for this surprise! I'm actually excited to see more of your incredible work!

Please accept this not as good as your magnificent work traditional sketch of a plushie Sky as a humble bribe tribute!

Can't say no to him can't you?

#mafia au #lu time #linked universe #linkeduniverse #yandere linked universe #lu #loz #not my art #except the sketch #my art

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soundsfaebutokay · 3 years

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youtube

So I've recc'd this video before, but it deserves its own post because it's one of my favorite things on youtube. It's a Tedx Talk by comics writer, editor, and journalist Jay Edidin, and I really think that it will connect with a lot of people here.

If you live and breathe stories of all kinds, you might like this.

If you care about media representation, you might like this.

If you're neurodivergent, you might like this.

If you're interested in a gender transition story that veers from the norm, you might like this.

If you love the original Leverage and especially Parker, and understand how important it is that a character like her exists, you will definitely like this.

Transcript below the cut:

You Are Here: The Cartography of Stories

by Jay Edidin

I am autistic. And what this means in practice is that there are some things that are easier for me than they are for most people, and a great many things that are somewhat harder, and these affect my life in more or less overt ways. As it goes, I'm pretty lucky. I've been able to build a career around special interests and granular obsession. My main gig at the moment is explaining superhero comics continuity and publishing history for which work I am somehow paid in actual legal currency—which is both a triumph of the frivolous in an era of the frantically pragmatic, and a job that's really singularly suited to my strengths and also to my idiosyncrasies.

I like comics. I like stories in general, because they make sense to me in ways that the rest of the world and my own mind often don't. Self-knowledge is not an intuitive thing for me. What sense of self I have, I've built gradually and laboriously and mostly through long-term pattern recognition. For decades, I didn't even really have a self-image. If you'd asked me to draw myself, I would eventually have given you a pair of glasses and maybe a very messy scribble of hair, and that would've been about it. But what I do know—backwards, forwards, and in pretty much every way that matters—are stories. I know how they work. I understand their language, their complex inner clockwork, and I can use those things to extrapolate a sort of external compass that picks up where my internal one falls short. Stories—their forms, their structure, the sense of order inherent to them—give me the means to navigate what otherwise, at least for me, would be an impassable storm of unparsable data. Or stories are a periscope, angled to access the parts of myself I can't intuitively see. Or stories are a series of mirrors by which I can assemble a composite sketch of an identity I rarely recognize whole...which is how I worked out that I was transgender, in my early thirties, by way of a television show.

This is my story. And it's about narrative cartography, and representation, and why those things matter. It's about autism and it's about gender and it's about how they intersect. And it's about the kinds of people we know how to see, and the kinds of people we don't. It's not the kind of story that gets told a lot, you might hear a lot, because the narrative around gender transition and dysphoria in our culture is really, really prescriptive. It's basically the story of the kid who has known for their whole life that they're this and not that, and that story demands the kind of intuitive self-knowledge that I can't really do, and a kind of relationship to gender that I don't really have—which is part of why it took me so long to figure my own stuff out.

So, to what extent this story, my story has a beginning, it begins early in 2014 when I published an essay titled, "I See Your Value Now: Asperger's and the Art of Allegory." And it explored, among other things, the ways that I use narrative and narrative structures to navigate real life. And it got picked up in a number of fairly prominent places that got linked, and I casually followed the ensuing discussion. And I was surprised to discover that readers were fairly consistently assuming I was a man. Now, that in itself wasn't a new experience for me, even though at the time I was writing under a very unambiguously female byline. It had happened in the letter columns of comics I'd edited. It had happened when a parody Twitter account I'd created went viral. When I was on staff at Wired, I budgeted for fancy scotch by putting a dollar in a box every time a reader responded in a way that made it clear they were assuming I was a man in response to an article where my name was clearly visible, and then I had to stop doing that because it happened so often I couldn't afford to keep it up. But in all of those cases, the context, you know, the reasons were pretty obvious. The fields I'd worked in, the beats I covered, they were places where women had had to fight disproportionally hard for visibility and recognition. We live in a culture that assumes a male default, so given a neutral voice and a character limit, most readers will assume a male author.

But this was different, because this wasn't just a book I'd edited, it wasn't a story I'd reported—it was me, it was my story. And it made me uncomfortable, got under my skin in ways that the other stuff really hadn't. And so I did what I do when that happens, and I tried to sort of reverse-engineer it to look at the conclusions and peel them back to see the narratives behind them and the stories that made them tick. And I started this, I started this by going back to the text of the essay, and you know, examining it every way I could think of: looking at craft, looking at content. And in doing so, I was surprised to realize that while I had written about a number of characters with whom I identified closely, that every single one of those characters I'd written about was male. And that surprised me even more than the responses to the essay had, because I've spent my career writing and talking and thinking about gender and representation in popular media. In 2014, I'd been the feminist gadfly of an editorial department and multiple mastheads. I'd been a founding board member of an organization that existed to advocate for more and better representation of women and girls in comics characters and creators. And most of my favorite characters, the ones I'd actively seek out and follow, were women. Just not, apparently, the characters I saw myself in.

Now I still didn't realize it was me at this point. Remember: self-knowledge, not very intuitive for me. And while I had spent a lot of time thinking about gender, I'd never really bothered to think much about my own. I knew academically that the way other people read and interpreted my gender affected and had influenced a lifetime of social and professional interactions, and that those in turn had informed the person I'd grown up into during that time. But I really believed, like I just sort of had in the back of my head, that if you peeled away all of that social conditioning, you'd basically end up with what I got when I tried to draw a self-portrait. So: a pair of glasses, messy scribble of hair, and in this case, maybe also some very strong opinions about the X-Men. I mean, I knew something was off. I'd always known something was off, that my relationship to gender was messy and uncomfortable, but gender itself struck me as messy and uncomfortable, and it had never been a large enough part of how I defined myself to really feel like something that merited further study, and I had deadlines, and...so it was always on the back burner. So, I looked, I looked at what I had, at this improbable group of exclusively male characters. And I looked and I figured that if this wasn't me, then it had to be a result of the stories I had access to, to choose from, and the entertainment landscape I was looking at. And the funny thing is, I wasn't wrong, exactly. I just wasn't right either.

See, the characters I'd written about had one other significant trait in common aside from their gender, which is that they were all more or less explicitly, more or less heavily coded as autistic. And I thought, "Ah, yes. This explains it. This is under representation in fiction echoing under representation in life and vice versa." Because the characteristics that I'd honed in on, that I particularly identified with in these guys, were things like emotional unavailability and social awkwardness and granular obsession, and all of those are characteristics that are seen as unsympathetic and therefore unmarketable in female characters. Which is also why readers were assuming that I was a man.

Because, you see, here's the thing. I'm not the only one who uses stories to navigate the world. I'm just a little more deliberate about it. For humans, stories formed the bridge between data and understanding. They're where we look when we need to contextualize something new, or to recognize something we're pretty sure we've seen before. They're how we identify ourselves; they're how we locate ourselves and each other in the larger world. There were no fictional women like me; there weren't representations of women like me in media, and so readers were primed not to recognize women like me in real life either.

Now by this point, I had started writing a follow-up essay, and this one was also about autism and narratives, but specifically focused on how they intersected with gender and representation in media. And in context of this essay, I went about looking to see if I could find even one female character who had that cluster of traits I'd been looking for, and I was asking around in autistic communities. And I got a few more or less useful one-off suggestions, and some really, really splendid arguments about semantics and standards, and um...then I got one answer over and over and over in community after community after community. "Leverage," people told me. "You have to watch Leverage."

So I watched Leverage. Leverage is five seasons of ensemble heist drama. It's about a team of very skilled con artists who take down corrupt and powerful plutocrats and the like, and it's a lot of fun, and it's very clever, and it's clever enough that it doesn't really matter that it's pretty formulaic, and I enjoyed it a lot. But what's most important, what Leverage has is Parker.

Parker is a master thief, and she is the best of the best of the best in ways that all of Leverage's characters are the best of the best. And superficially, she looks like the kind of woman you see on TV. So she's young, and she's slender, and she's blonde, and she's attractive but in a sort of approachable way. And all of that familiarity is brilliant misdirection, because the thing is, there are no other women like Parker on TV. Because Parker—even if it's never explicitly stated in the show—Parker is coded incredibly clearly as autistic. Parker is socially awkward. Her speech tends to have limited inflection; what inflection it does have is repetitive and sounds rehearsed a lot of the time. She's not emotionally literate; she struggles with it, and the social skills she develops over the series, she learns by rote, like they're just another grift. When she's not scaling skyscrapers or cartwheeling through laser grids, she wears her body like an ill-fitting suit. Parker moves like me. And Parker, Parker was a revelation—she was a revolution unto herself. In a media landscape where unempathetic women usually exist to either be punished or "loved whole," Parker got to play the crabby savant. And she wasn't emotionally intuitive but it was never ever played as the product of abuse or trauma even though she had survived both of those—it was just part of her, as much as were her hands or her eyes. And she had a genuine character arc. My god, she had a genuine romantic arc, even. And none of that required her to turn into anything other than what she was. And in Parker I recognized a thousand tics and details of my life and my personality...but. I didn't recognize myself.

Why? What difference was there in Parker, you know, between Parker and the other characters I'd written about? Those characters, they'd spanned ethnicities and backgrounds and different media and appearances and the only other characteristic they all had in common was their gender. So that was where I started to look next, and I thought, "Well, okay, maybe, maybe it's masculinity. Maybe if Parker were less feminine, she'd click with me the way those other characters had." So then I tried to imagine a Parker with short hair, who's explicitly butch, and...nothing. So okay, I extended it in what seems like the only logical direction to extend it. I said, "Well, if it's not masculinity, what if it's actual maleness? What if Parker were a man?" Ah. Yeah.

In the end, everything changed, and nothing changed, which is often the way that it goes for me. Add a landmark, no matter how slight, and the map is irrevocably altered. Add a landmark, and paths that were invisible before open wide. Add a landmark, and you may not have moved, but suddenly you know where you are and where you can go.

I wasn't going to tell this story when I started planning this talk. I was gonna tell a similar story, it was about stories, like this is, about narratives and the ways that they influence our culture and vice versa. And it centered around a group of women at NASA who had basically rewritten the narrative around space exploration, and it was a lot more fun, and I still think it was more interesting. But it's also a story you can probably work out for yourselves. In fact it's a story some of you probably have, if you follow that kind of thing, which you probably do given that you're here. And this is a story, my story is not a story that I like to tell. It's not a fun story to talk about because it's very personal and I am a very private person. And it's not universal. And it's not always relatable, and it's definitely not aspirational. And it's not the kind of story that you tend to encounter unless you're already part of it...which is why I'm telling it now. Because the thing is, I'm not the only person who uses stories to parse the world and navigate it. I'm just a little more deliberate. Because I'm tired of having to rely on composite sketches.

Open your maps. Add a landmark. Reroute accordingly.

#Jay Edidin #LGBTQ #autism #mind and body #gender norms #why humans need stories #Leverage #Parker #Abby posts Leverage #my faves #Youtube #I did my best with the transcript #sorry for any mistakes

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