went in my period tracker app and it said my next period was supposed to start around 9/11 and the FIRST thing that popped into my brain was “they hit the second ovary”

Making things because I'm bored✌🏻

It could’ve been the charming yet tragically repressed WW2 Captain with an enigmatic backstory and endless fandom speculation. It could’ve been the conventionally-attractive, hopeless romantic of a regency poet. Or it even could’ve been the Edwardian mathematician with a stern-exterior yet wasted potential.

But no. It was the Tory sex pest and his incestuous monkey.

I DREAMT I WAS ON A PLANE WITH LED ZEPPELIN AND I SAT NEXT TO ROBERT PLANT AND WE CHATTED AND LAUGHED AND THEN HE FELL ASLEEP ON MY SHOULDER AAAA

“Yes, I do apologize, Schmi. Had I known you were comming Anakin tonight, I would’ve reserved an office space.” General Kenobi says as he strolls out of the kitchen, further in the back of the apartment. He’s carrying a tray with a tea set and some cups on it to a seating arrangement of two couches, a coffee table, and a lounge chair to his left at the other end of the room.

The general’s outfit is different from what he’s used to. Instead of his usual Jedi robes he’s wearing tight fitting clothes designed for lounging in a home, or to sleep in. It’s quite like his blacks, except the generals under tunic is light beige and his pants a warm brown, and quite flattering. It’s remarkable how much curve and muscle those Jedi robes hide day to day. Not that he pays attention to any of that… of course not. That’s not something a commander should ever pay attention to.

“Oh no you don’t have to go through the trouble, Obi-Wan. I won’t be long, I just wanted to check in.” Schmi says.

“I’m fine, mom. Nothing much has changed since my knighting. It’s just a steady stream of assignments.”

“And the usual shenanigans.” Cal cuts in, earning a glare from Skywalker.

“Is that so?” Schmi laughs.

“You know how Cal is, mom.”

“Hmmhmm. Commander? Might I see you for a minute?” Schmi says.

He hesitates, his eyes darting to general Kenobi for guidance or support. Kenobi offers no help whatsoever, instead he pours himself a cup of tea and sips it. His eyes meeting his own while a smirk plays at his lips. He’s enjoying himself a little too much in his opinion, all he can do is make sure it’s warranted.

He smiles as charming and warm as he can muster, which has an instant effect on Skywalker in that the general seems to be questioning all of his life choices. And has an instant effect on Kenobi, who’s eyes linger on him just a second too long for it to be accidental. Interesting.

“Madam,” He says as he steps into view of Schmi Skywalker. She seems like a lovely lady, really. Nothing like her son, both in appearance or personality, that’s for sure.

“Oh. I see why you invited him over, Obi-Wan.”

You know all this talk about " being strongest is lonely " and " I’ll teach you how to love " with sukuna’s fights with yorozu gojo and now kashimo is reminding me of something

"I must confess, that my loneliness is KILLING me now

Don't you know I still believe That you will be here

Just give me a sign

I must confess, that my loneliness is killing me now

Don't you know I still believe That you will be here

Just give me a sign HIT me baby one more time"

Didn’t really go well for them tho

Love is trash

love is the most twisted curse of them all

Hi I read your slytherin seeker jay thought and now i cannot sleep

don't worry babe, slytherin!jay will help you fall asleep <3

jay overhears you telling your friend about your recent insomnia and late night walks, and decides to join you. he waits around the corner, hidden in the shadows, as you sneak out of your common room. you don't even notice him, walking straight past him on as you begin your routine midnight stroll. at this point, you've memorised filch's routes and navigated your own away from his.

then suddenly, a pair of strong arms are wrapping around your waist and pulling you back. jay's expensive and faintly jasminey scent dominates the air around you, his massive presence engulfing all of your senses.

you gasp. "jay."

"hey, princess," he whispers into your ear. "can't sleep?"

Something strange that I thought up

A Magic School Bus x Assassination Classroom AU

Like, just think:

“PLEASE let this be a normal assassination attempt!”

“With Koro-Sensei?”

“NO WAY!”

*Cue the whole Okinawa arc*

burning out 🪽🔥

I can already sense myself blast this on repeat

(((OOC: Since Fan Tong is mostly a momma's boy and is raised by his mom in the Modern AU, is his dad absent for most of the time. Also, as for Tai Lung and Lord Shen, what're they like in this AU?)))

Yeah his dad is absent at work alot- however, he does make time for his family and always shows up for special occasions, especially for his son's kung fu tournaments and matches. He's always the one filming everything (if it was a show it'd be a running gag that the audience never sees his face- it's always concealed by a phone or camera or something else). He's very shy.

Lord Shen?- I think he'd be a politician as well as a CEO of an arms dealership. He had to start his own business from the ground up after his parents disowned him from their fireworks congolmerate after he participated in some...shady dealings. He runs most of the black market in Gongmen City, and provides gangs with arms and ammo in exchange for their "services". I don't think there was a panda genocide in this AU, but I wouldn't be surprised if a few certain pandas ended up being collateral in some of his projects/dealings.

Tai Lung is Shifu's adopted son, and was also once the best student in Oogway's school. However, after being denied the honors title of Dragon Warrior, Tai Lung fell into a bitter streak that eventually led him to getting into violent fights with other students, performing illegal moves in matches, and finally getting expelled. After that, it was a downward spiral- Tai Lung successfully burned every bridge in his life, and began participating in street-fighting and gang violence. He became a sort of jailbird, going in and out of prison for awhile until a confrontation with Po caused him to see the light and slowly, painfully, and steadily seek redemption...starting with repairing his broken relationship with his adopted father. Currently he works in Mr. Ping's noodle shop (and can occasionally be seen with a certain ribbon dancing panda on his arm 👀).

forgot to answer but i am very very willing to read that behemoth of a masterpiece. may the devil have mercy on my soul because i’m going head (mouth) first into that dotty pussy you would not believe—

my phone died at work, finally got home and this is the first thing i see in my notifications as soon as i open tumblr 😭😭

Crosshair: "I don't care that my brothers abandoned me several times"

Also Crosshair, alone in his room to a holo of his brothers: ♪♫♪WELL GOOD FOR YOU, YOU LOOK HAPPY AND HEALTHY, NOT ME, IF YOU EVER CARED TO ASK!♪♫♪

omg i can’t believe i’m actually thinkin bout penny n miles together 😱

I feel like it's relevant on this November 5th to reveal that I had a huge supernatural phase in 2020-2021. I watched all 15 seasons. I was obsessed. It was probably my first hyper fixation that I could call a hyper fixation. I was emotionally invested. I saw Cas go to super hell personally.

I have also forgotten basically everything that ever happened. that is is year of my life that has been blocked from my memory.

hehe i put wake me up before you go go on jake's playlist bc that was steven adding it actually same with Marc and hotel california