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#how insane that that even needs to be said

neos127 · 3 days

Text

— starboy

actor!sim jaeyun x fem!reader; genre. non idol au, actor au, fluff + headcanons

actor!jake who…is a very good looking man. the first time you two met at a table read, you were sure you were in love. being an actress, you’ve worked with many attractive people before so it wasn’t anything new. but you were positive that jake was the most handsome co-star you ever had. you would always catch yourself looking at his lips when he read his lines— jake would catch you as well.

actor!jake who…is a big flirt. the man can make anyone fall to their knees within seconds and he finds it amusing. you happen to be jake’s favorite victim as he loves giving you his attention. it is easy to make you flustered, especially while filming intimate scenes.

actor!jake who…is a natural when it comes to having chemistry with any of his co-stars. even with the photo shoots the two of you did together, fans could sense the crazy amount of chemistry you both had.

actor!jake who…is absolutely obsessed with you. he becomes your shadow basically, your assistant is hardly needed anymore. you need more water, he’s on it! you’re cold? he’ll hand you his hoodie/jacket because he likes how you look in his clothes. you’re bored while getting your hair and makeup done? jake will sit with you and yap your ear off.

actor!jake who…has stopped paying attention to other girls as soon as he meets you. lots of fans and even extras try to get his attention, but it’s always on you. he looks at you as if you hung all the stars in the sky, and everyone can see that but you.

actor!jake who…buys you breakfast before filming or coffee if you drink it. he’ll also offer to travel to set together, even though it’s not necessary he just wants to be close to you.

actor!jake who…posts you all the time on his instagram. fans start to speculate if the two of you are dating since the man seems to be so obsessed. there hasn’t been a time where a week has gone by and jake hasn’t posted you or something related to you on his story at least once.

actor!jake who…asks you out on a date once filming is over. you were surprised, assuming that jake had his eye on someone else. you agreed anyway, enjoying your time together and ogling athow handsome he looked for the date. jake always looked good, but the combination of his black button up shirt and slicked back hair made your insides melt.

actor!jake who…invites you to watch your drama together at his apartment so the two of you can cuddle and binge on snacks. he asks you to be his girlfriend that night, which you said yes too and kissed the man all over his face. jake felt like the happiest man alive knowing that you were finally his and that he could show you off.

actor!jake who…confirms your relationship to the public about a month in by posting a picture of him kissing you on the cheek. fans went absolutely insane but loved you two regardless considering that your relationship was a tad bit obvious from the start.

©neos127

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cupidhoons · 2 days

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twitch streamer ⟡ lhs

syn gamer! bf heeseung hcs / thoughts!

wc 639 && trope est relationship fmr mlist

note 🗒️ ; starting off small to get my motivation back </3 for @lilacnini and the gc ofc 😇 enjoy reading!

gamer bf! heeseung who stays up late at night to stream

gamer bf! heeseung who tries his best to not wake you up while he streams — he avoids screaming and yelling

gamer bf! heeseung who would end his stream and stop playing his games if you wanted his attention or if you needed anything from him

gamer bf! heeseung who leaves his stream on accidentally on day, and his viewers could hear you and him laughing in the other room together

gamer bf! heeseung who realizes that what he did, and laughs it off and tells you his idea of teasing his fans about your relationship with him

gamer bf! heeseung who soft launches your relationship which makes his fans go insane

gamer bf! heeseung who asks you if you wanted to go public before doing anything rash, and you say yes

gamer bf! heeseung who turns on his stream on a random day to do a random Q&A with you and his fans

"hi chat! I'm not going to be playing today, sorry. i am with my girlfriend though! say hi y/n!"

you enter in the frame with a bright smile. "hi! I'm heeseung's girlfriend! surprising that he even knows a girl, right?" You giggle softly and heeseung only chuckles

"yeah yeah whatever...lets start today's stream shall we?" he jokingly rolls his eyes at your joke.

You look at the live chat that was moving at a face pace — you could tell that his fans were very much excited in meeting you.

After the stream ended, you very much had a whole fanbase — and heeseung? well, he's just there. fans eventually found your instagram account (you didn't mind, of course) and immediately started thirsting over you — boy was heeseung having a field day after revealing you to his fans

gamer bf! heeseung who does more streams with you in the background talking to him or engaging with his fans

gamer bf! heeseung who listens to you very attentively when you start speaking — to which fans start joking around how "down bad" he is for you (they aren't wrong, he looks at you with pure adoration)

gamer bf! heeseung who gets jealous (jokingly) when his fans start asking you to be their girlfriend instead

gamer bf! heeseung who starts beefing with his own fans, telling them to back off his girl

"chat shut up, y/n is mine and mine only!!" he says with pure sass in his voice. he knows it's a joke, of course, but it doesn't hurt to play along right? after all, you are his gorgeous girlfriend and not anyone else's.

besides all the jokes and jealously, when he has the opportunity to talk about you — he will. trust me. he will always have something to say about you — how pretty you are, how you always have the best outfits, how much he loves you — there was no denying that he was in love.

gamer bf! heeseung who sometimes lets you play his games as you sit on his lap, teaching you how to play

gamer bf! heeseung who praises you for playing so well — even if you died 300 times beforehand

gamer bf! heeseung who posts you on all his social medias

gamer bf! heeseung who makes his whole instagram account look like a fanpage for you

gamer bf! heeseung who goes shopping for a pc with you when you said you wanted to start playing games with him even if you weren't the best at games

gamer bf! heeseung who makes a minecraft server for you and his friends to play on — making it a series

gamer bf! heeseung who proposes to you in minecraft and plans a whole minecraft wedding for the both of you

gamer bf! heeseung who you do eventually end up marrying and having a happy life with

permanent taglist (open — send an ask to be added) ; @kyoaeri @copyhanni @lilacnini

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lani-heart · 2 days

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|| series masterlist || next // previously

parings -> ( eventually ) enhypen x reader genre -> soulmate au, fantasy au, angst warnings -> angst, self-harm word count -> 1.9k

abstract -> "If you treat him like a monster, he’ll turn out to be one"

y/n's perspective

“Why did you help, Jake?” I heard and I saw Jay behind me. How did he find out?

“What?” I asked in hopes of clarity. “Heeseung told me you helped Jake with a human potion… did he force–” “He didn’t… he begged to understand how to feel human so I gave a potion to K to give to him and– he asked for help to be human and that it” I said now panicked and he sighed

“He went off to tell Jungwon, Sunoo, and Niki now,” he said and I sighed. “He asked me not to tell you guys… is… he okay?” I asked and he shook his head.

“The potion is wearing off so he'll be better but he used his fire and burned his arms. They're treating him right now in our dorm so he doesn't get in trouble and neither do you” he said and I sighed.

“I can help–” “Why are you asking to help? He hurt you,” he said and I smiled softly. “It's my magic, and besides he apologized and explained. He’s learning control… and he's also a neurotic vampire. It's why he's so hyper and why his emotions get the better of him” I said and only hugged me.

“You’re too kind for your own good,” he said and I hugged him back. “I… really wanted to continue what I had with Sooha, but you still forgave that I was split,” he said and even tightened his grip.

“Just don’t let people exploit it,” he said and pulled away. I offered him a smile…

“Lets go help, he’s still your friend after all”

When I entered the dorm I could hear cries.

“Ah! y/n!” I heard as I saw… Sooha. I’m glad he had her helping him. “Can you help, please he's in so much pain I don’t know what got to his head!” she pleaded and I nodded.

I then freeze.

“Uhm… Sooha, Jay can you leave the room?” I ask and they look at me confused. “I have to..” I trailed off while I brought a pinout. “Jake isn't good with control–” “I’ll be fine, I can take away his thirst while I'm here,” I said and he nodded and went outside the room I'm assuming only outside the door.

“Go away” he cried while curling himself up in a ball. Sooha tried to bandage his arms. His shirt was off when I saw the burns even exceeded his shoulders.

I pricked my finger letting the blood smear whilst his body shook. “I can’t do anything right,” he muttered. “Ja–” “Sooha just go away… please” he pleaded. He thought I was...

“You don’t understand… What I did to those people hurt as much as what I felt, What I did to her was worse than what I feel” he cried out.

“Jake,” I said and he turned his head slightly from the corner of the couch to see me. I felt my vision blur… just a bit. “Why… why are you here?” he asks and I sigh.

“Well, I warned you not to use your powers,” I said and he only cried more. “I needed to know… I-I’m sorry! I… why… why are you bleeding” he sat up when he saw my hand and shuffled away from me.

“Jake, I'm gonna–” “No! Stay there,” he said when I tried getting closer.

“I’m gonna do a spell… it’s gonna turn you back–” “I’ll hurt you again, just leave!” he yelled and I shook my head. “You won’t feel thirsty until I leave” I explained and he shook his head.

“Jake. I forgive you, okay? So please trust me for now” I asked and he froze. I tried to get close when he started telling me the same thing.

“Ah… Heeseung'' I said while looking at the door. Jake turned when I tackled him and got on top of him, catching him by surprise and doing my spell quickly. “You lied!” he said as I muttered my spell. He then winced when I saw his fangs were coming out. I cut my palm a bit to feed him my blood and did another spell so he wouldn’t turn me into a blood bag.

“Are you crazy! I’m a vampire, I could kill you!” he yelled as he sat up again and gripped my shoulders. “But you don’t feel the bloodlust right?” I asked and he froze. “You’re insane… Why would you do that! And you lied about Heeseung there!” he whined, making me laugh.

“But… Thank you for helping me. It doesn't help my emotions' ' he said, his pain is gone but not his guilt. “Jake, you can only do one thing to improve this, '' I said and he stared at me, eager to fix his mistakes.

“Live in fear to commit the same mistakes, Choose to live in bloodlust, or actually improve. To improve you need to accept being a vampire and your mistakes. You need to forgive yourself” I said and he couldn’t say a word.

“What you did was stupid” I heard and this time it was Heeseung. “The blood spilled in your hand would have driven him–” “You need to give him more credit than that. If you treat him like a monster, he’ll turn out to be one” I said and he looked at me dumbfounded.

“But it doesn’t mean he is. I get told how much of a freak I am by the humans… vampires, and hybrids because I use magic. It doesn’t make me one, though” I said and he stayed silent.

“If you need help, my doors are open,” I said to Jake and I noticed a weird position.

“Uhm! Sorry for this by the way” I said and ran for the door.

“Blood!” I was now surrounded… this time by my mates and Sooha waiting outside the door. “Sooha, go inside,” Sunghoon said as he grabbed her shoulders and pushed her inside with him. “I… think I'm going too,” Niki said.

Left with three. “You’ve got a lot to explain,'' Sunoo said and I smiled nervously…

Where do I start?

jake’s perspective

When she left, Heeseung said nothing. Instead of going to his room, I then noticed Sooha, Sunghoon, and Niki enter. She was still bleeding.

“You did not drink her blood!” Sunghoon said and I shook my head. “No–” “You have her blood on your face!” Niki screeched and I shook my head.

“She… I don't know! She did spells! She forced her blood into me!” I yelled defensively and they scoffed. They haven't marked her yet… let alone tasted her blood.

“Just don’t do it again” Niki muttered as he left being a grumpy kid.

“Jake, are you okay?” Sooha asks worriedly and I nod. “y/n… is too forgiving. She also helped me alot” I said and she smiled. “Maybe this will–” “Don’t mention this again Sooha” I said and she only offered a shy smile.

“Are you okay, Hoon?” I ask, noticing his staring off like he usually does. “Mhhmm, Solon is… annoyed with you” he muttered as he didn’t stop staring at the floor. “Is it the blood?” I ask and he nods. “You do have her blood on your cheek,” Sooha said and I felt my eyes widen.

“Uhm! I’m gonna go to my room!”

I cleaned my face while I was alone with my thoughts.

Why’d she help me… defend me against Heeseung? After what I did? I would hate me, even wish the worst for me. Why was she so… kind?

“You’re lucky, hyung!” I heard as I left my bathroom to see Jungwon and Sunoo. “Yah! Get off my bed! Your clothes are dirty–” “Why’d you wanna be human anyway?” Sunoo asked.

The two used to be human… “I wanted to know how it felt,” I said and Jungwon sat up. “It's not fun,” he said and I nodded. “It isn't,” I agreed. “What you did to her wasn’t fair Jake. Just because she forgave you doesn't make it right” Jungwons scolded.

“I know… I want better control. I need to get better” I said and he sighed. “That's a good first step,” Sunoo said and I nodded.

“How come you two turned out so smart?” I asked them. And they chuckled, “Heeseung's sister says we must've been blessed with it,” Sunoo said.

“I swear you two seem to be her favorite, '' I said as I jumped on my bed in between the two. “Well… she’s not the best at hiding things. We know at some point we’ve met in another life, but only Heeseung knows” Jungwon said and I chuckled.

“Do you think in another life, we knew each other?” I asked them and they laughed.

“Of course hyung!”

I know I wasn’t allowed here.

I knocked on the door and hoped Wonyoung wasn’t there.

“Hello,” she said as she opened the door. “Oh thank goodness! Wonyoung isn't here right?” I asked and she laughed. “No, you're lucky. Are you feeling better?” y/n asked and I nodded.

“I wanted to ask if you wanted to join me for breakfast?” I asked and she smiled. “Why not?” she said as she went back in to get her bag.

“Where's my mates?” she asked. “Asleep, Jungwon and Sunoo slept over in my room. Niki also joined so they are still asleep in my room. Heeseung is nowhere to be seen, Jay… I think in Home-Ec, and Sunghoon in his jealousy arc” I said and she laughed.

“What?” she said while laughing.

“Your blood was on me… and well drinking your mate’s blood is an intimate thing,” I said and I noticed her cheeks redden. “Also I’m sorry about your hand,” I said while I saw her bandaged hand.

“It's nothing I'm not used to,” she said and I smiled.

“I wish we had time to get breakfast outside the campus but, it'd be impossible without skipping homeroom,” I said and she chuckled. “I don’t mind skipping,” she said, shocking me.

“You're supposed to be the number one! The top student! President of Bright Sun student council, who are you!?” I said dramatically, making her laugh more. “I was gonna skip, I was just gonna use the excuse of stuco” she said and I stopped.

“Let's go then!”

We made it to the city where not many students were since class was gonna start.

“Your mates are gonna freak out,” I said and she chuckled. “They skip more than me,” she said and I knew that was probably true.

“Ooh! I need you to try this! It's a witch's place, but you can come in with me!” she said excitedly as we went into a breakfast place.

“This just looks like human food,” I said while looking at the menu. “It has magic in it! It's really cool!” she said excitedly that it made me just stop and stare.

“Jake? Are you okay?” she asked and I nodded.

“I’m jealous that they get to have a chance with you,” I said but I didn’t mean to say it out loud. She smiled softly. “Well, you did reject me,” she said jokingly.

“I know and I'm an idiot–” “Jake! Do you want to be my mate?” she asked, throwing me off guard. She giggled since I must've looked like an idiot.

“Yes! I… I wanna be your mate” I said and she smiled. “Ah! I’ll even pay–" "I won’t argue,” she said and I laughed.

“Thank you, y/n”

taglist -> @sunus-sun @loumin908 @on-1ce @shinkenprincess-oh @b-a-nshee-blog @bnnyniky @sakuxxi @chiiiiiiiiis @cncreams @pre1ttyies @justanunstablefrog @graythecoffeebean @starzniiky @singlepringle4you @chirokookie @kthstrawberryshortcake-main @imtoanonymousforyou @lovgfrd @ilovecheese09 @sousydive @pink-but-rosie @kyleebob @jihyosgf @in-somnias-world @jilxxasu @bee-the-loser @mitchikeli @cyberpunksunwoo @lhspeachie @loafsunshinesworld @vixensss @zhenya109 @luumiinaa @rosas-in-the-garden @b3tt7boop @moony-mari @vixialuvs @ilovecheese09 @capri-cuntz @emma2black @skzhoes

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cumikering · 3 days

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Neighbour Ghost x reader 7

2.3k | angst, drinking irresponsibly If Simon could do it all again (part 1)

“You don’t look good, sir.” The sergeant stood at attention, looking straight into his lieutenant’s eyes.

Simon had to commend the balls of Kevlar required to walk right up to him to point the fact out unprompted, but that was why he liked Sgt. Eric Jefferies the most. You had no time to waste when you raced with death on the regular - he would tell anyone they didn’t look good.

He knew he didn’t - it was the same bland face he had the pleasure to look at in the mirror each day. Annoyed, but not surprised by the darkening circles under his eyes, stark against his pale complexion. It didn’t help that he nicked himself in the jaw shaving that morning.

“Dining hall, sergeant,” he grunted.

“You’re barely eating, Riley,” Lt. Ramsay said, the same bloke who’d catch him sneaking back to his room. “You know you’re contributing to the food waste when you don’t ask for seconds, yeah?”

It was true, and the table chuckled, but Simon continued to shove whatever was on his plate into his mouth. It was enough to not starve.

“He never leaves his room anymore, not even on the weekends,” another lieutenant quipped, but was promptly elbowed by the officer next to him.

That, too, was true.

Simon had nowhere else to be, like how it always was before his mum came to Hereford. These days his flat was too empty and cold with the hole in his chest. He never came back after that night.

It wasn’t like he was thriving in his quarters either, but it was still a little better – at least it was untouched by you. Though his nights were dreamless at first, he kept waking, and waking until the dreams started.

It was a glitch in the universe, wasn’t it? That the memory that played in his mind to insanity was the last time he saw you, about crawling back to your door with limbs that didn’t feel like his, vision swaying with the lights, coming on and off, his heartbeat ringing in his head.

It’s not supposed to end this way… I want to try…

He sighed at another disturbed night. Tea would slow his mind. Instead, he found the box of Darjeeling you gifted him to take back to base. ‘So we can have the same tea over the phone,’ you’d said.

Was there a way to escape you, make you stop haunting? He needed an exorcism.

He put it back in his drawer. One day, it wouldn’t have to hurt anymore.

And the nightmares came back. It was once, then twice, and thrice a week of waking up in cold sweat in the dark.

Simon’s performance slipped. There was a reason sleep deprivation was a popular torture method. He requested sleeping medications - his career was the last thing he had and he wasn’t about to let it go. Any unrestful sleep interrupted by the vivid images his sickly mind conjured up was still better than no sleep at all.

Quitting you was impossible when the thoughts still followed. If pushing you away didn’t work, maybe basking in the memories would, even if it hurt more. Aching for your warmth, the scraps of it, he’d go anywhere you’d been to see your ghost. The pain was better than the void.

“You lads are volunteering at the soup kitchen this Saturday,” he announced to Sgt. Jefferies after hours.

“Saturday, sir?”

“It’s good for you. Reminds you why you’re doing all this.”

“Can’t tell me what to do,” he teased. “You’re not my L.T. on the weekends.”

Simon’s stare didn’t waver and the other bloke’s smile dropped.

“Copy, sir. I’ll tell the others.”

When the four burly SAS soldiers entered the kitchen, chatter and clanks stalled as all eyes turned to them.

“May… May I help you young lads?” one of the middle-aged ladies said.

Simon recognised her from his last visit, but he quickly realised this was a silly idea. He was out of place, knowing no one there.

He flashed half a smile. “Just wanted to give a hand. Got any lifting to do?”

The lieutenant and his sergeants hauled the food items to the kitchen, including the bread which he taught his sergeants to half and butter. They were offered to peel potatoes, but Simon decided it was wise to leave it to the pros instead.

People still avoided his gaze while his boys exchanged pleasantries with the other volunteers; Eric even got called handsome by the group of older ladies he impressed with his strength as he hefted the sack of potatoes. While the night was as pleasant, it wasn’t the same if you weren’t there to hold his hand and laugh at his jokes.

When the boys invited Simon to the pub at the end of the night, he said no. He thought he was ready, but even after weeks, coming back to his flat was just as sickening.

The silence pierced. Despite all the lights flicked on, the place made his skin crawl, the space too vast and empty. But he didn’t become a lieutenant from succumbing to his emotions.

As he lay in bed, he recalled that you too slept there once. That the mattress once dipped with the gentle weight of you, but unlike the bed that bounced back, you’d left a lasting imprint that disfigured his soul.

Simon wondered what you were up to, if you knew he was there drowning, miserable in his cold room. He couldn’t decide if he preferred your door to be closer or further: closer so he could catch a glimpse of you without meaning to, or further so he wouldn’t be so tempted to go over and get on his knees.

You said begging only reduced you to nothing, but for you, he’d beg and beg. There wasn’t much to lose when he wasn’t much to begin with. He was a stray for a reason.

He tossed and turned, and was granted a wink of sleep before the same bloody dream flashed in his mind.

I don’t care how hard it gets…

He sat up, feet thudding on the floor as he rubbed his face with a heavy sigh. It was always that one moment, like a broken record. Why couldn’t it be you on a night out, or kissing you on the kitchen counter, or simply, you smiling? It was a curse. If only the heart could follow where one’s feet went.

With no plans on coming here, his sleeping pills lay on his desk at base. He looked through the cabinets to distract himself, finding various bottles of dusty, unopened spirits he was gifted. They weren’t his cup of tea.

So he packed, to get his mind off you, from spiralling and digging a deeper grave for itself.

It was time for a change. With the accommodation he was provided, he never needed to rent, but he did anyway in case his mum ever needed the place. It was a good call he did, but with the divorce on the way, keeping it was pointless. He’d rather spend the extra money on his mum and nephew.

Yes, he came to remember- not to forget, but you wouldn’t leave, would you? In the dead of night, when he pulled the hoodie he’d forgotten about out of his wardrobe, he decided he’d had enough of his bloody flat and drove back to base.

He still had another weekend to before his next deployment, a two-month mission. He’d finish packing then.

“You’re right, sir, it feels good volunteering.” Eric grinned at his lieutenant. “We’re going again tomorrow. Also one of the ladies is introducing her daughter to Sam. See you there then?”

Never again. “Dining hall, sergeant.”

Simon was a fool for not finishing his lunch sooner and bolting, instead lingering for the announcement. With how atrocious he did on his tests, he must have been beyond high to still hope for a miracle, that despite everything, he still had a chance at a promotion.

He didn’t make to the top 3.

Amidst the wishes from the table, Lt. Ramsay’s turned to him. His grateful smile faltered.

Simon’s fists clenched. It was supposed to be him, his. But who was he to be mad. It was the fruit of his incompetence. He knew this was coming. Things were going to shit. The unforgiving truth was staring right at him mercilessly: he had nothing else.

He left for his office.

“Sir, sir!” Sgt. Jefferies called. “We’re heading to the pub tonight. Come with us.”

He gritted his teeth. Word travelled too fast.

“Let’s get out of the base for a bit,” he continued when he caught up to his long strides. “It’s the last weekend before we ship out.”

Simon eyed the display of vibrant bottles behind the bar as he listened to his sergeants’ orders, the names foreign to him. Above, the telly showed a rugby match rerun no one paid attention to.

“Jefferies, how much you reckon it takes me to get pissed?”

He chuckled. “You, sir? At least 10,” he said before taking a swig of his beer.

“Nah, 15 sounds more like it.” Richie, the designated driver for the evening piped up.

Sam downed his first two shots, hissing as he slammed the glasses on the bar. “Agreed. Do you know how much he lifts?” He nodded at Simon’s biceps, bulging under his loose black shirt.

It was a genuine question. Simon didn’t want to get pissed, he only wanted to forget. He didn’t mean to go over his limit he had no idea was at seven.

Drunk Simon was a weeping, blabbering mess. It didn’t help that he was massive, because his sergeants had trouble getting him to the car before Richie drove him to the address of his flat he barely managed to gurgle out before passing out.

“Sir, you’re paying for the bloody cleaning if you get sick in my car!”

Why did he think this was a good idea? He was never a drinker, barely even touched alcohol socially. It was the poison that turned his dad into a demon, and it too became his downfall. The only thing he thought he would always have – his resolve, let him down too. He’d lost you, his mum whom he was supposed to protect, his future, and now his dignity.

Desperation was a lethal sentiment.

And that dream came again, that he stumbled to your door. Legs wobbly, his vision in and out as the world spun in slow motion.

“Luv… Luv, it’s not supposed to end like this,” he slurred, the same line he always opened with.

A marionette, a prisoner in his own head, it was a loop he couldn’t escape. The awful show had to commence to end the same way each time.

“I’m sick of losing and I wouldn’t know what to do when you leave, after how much you’ve given. Instead, I left when you needed me. I should have been there for you, gone through all this with you, no matter how hard it got.

“If you would give me a chance, I’ll quit the SAS. I’d start all over again. I’ll butcher the carrots and apples with the bloody peeler, I’ll let the steakhouse mess up our reservation and eat a dozen soapy tacos… If you ever show up at my door with your pie again, I swear I’d kiss you, not scare you. And I’ll never let go. If it has to hurt, I want it to be you.”

The door clicked open, and like how it always went, it meant the dream was coming to an end.

“You make it worth it,” he muttered as his vision faded.

…

Simon gasped for air, this time staring up at blinding lights. He shielded his wet eyes, chuckling to himself.

“Bloody hell, I think I’m sick on the inside.”

“Only your past, but you are not your past.” Your voice echoed in the distance.

His body was too heavy to move. “Could you forgive me, for all of this?”

“Could you? You need to forgive more than you need to be forgiven.”

He laughed as another tear slipped.

Simon woke on his couch, still in his clothes from the night before. Dreaming of you always drained him, leaving him hollow and out of touch with his body.

He sat up with a groan, rubbing his face as the dizziness settled. He didn’t remember much after getting dragged to Richie’s car. Judging by the gnarly bruise on his arm, he probably fell last night, but he was glad he found his way back to his flat in one piece.

Stumbling to the shower, he hissed when his toe stubbed one of the boxes on the floor. It was a horrendous decision to drink so much, still having to pack the rest of his stuff. He leaned over the sink, staring at his bloodshot eyes.

His sergeant was right. He didn’t look good. He never did. What the fuck are you doing to yourself, Riley?

With his hair damp, he made his way to the kitchen. As he realised he’d packed all his tea stash in one of the bloody boxes, a series of knocks echoed in his flat.

He grumbled. It better be important for someone to disturb his peace, especially with the pounding of his head. He couldn’t be bothered putting a shirt on before he swung the door open.

It was you, a pie in hand like the first time he met you all those months ago.

“Hi, is Simon in?”

His heart lurched as he crushed you in a hug.

“Thought you said you were going to kiss me.”

@tiredmetalenthusiast @shadofireshinobi @keegansshark @two-gh0sts @eve-lie @lyenera @luvecarson @jaguarthecat @knight4xmas @unwrittenletter @mxtokko @reaperxxxxzz @footyandformula @opalesquegirl @audisive @sparrowgalaxy @fanficreblogs @strawberrystargal @damalseer @onlineoutcast @alright-i-guesss @maresoleil @mehjustalasshere @rrtxcmt

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andy-wm · 2 days

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Why is Bam on insta?

This thought flashed in my head when i saw the most recent photos of Bam.

Maybe I'm just slow and everyone else figured this out already but maybe not, so I’m sharing it.

The Bam insta account isn't just a fun side project set up by JK while he’s doing military service. He doesn't even have an account for himself*, so why would he make one for his puppy? It's not like he needs (or wants?) more followers or influence, and he could have just used his t1ct0k, where hes already got gazillions of followers.

When bowwow_bam first appeared, many comments suggested he created it to keep in touch with ARMY while he's serving in the military. And yes he DID share the account with ARMY on weverse, but I doubt that's the reason it exists.

Bowwow_bam is not for ARMY...

The photos JK gets from the training centre let him know that Bam is happy and well cared for.

Even though Bam has been in and out of the training centre often while JK has had his schedules, those stays were brief compared to 18 months. This time, Bam will basically be living there full time, long term.

Maybe this is why JK sent Bam to the training centre so often in the past, when he might have left Bam with friends or family instead. That way, the training centre became familiar to Bam before his long term stay.

Bowwow_bam is for JK

Bam's photos are likely sent to JK directly, so why post them to a public platform? And why post ONLY these?

Why?

Sure, it's a good way for JK to stay connected to ARMY with minimal effort. Let's not be foolish enough to think he doesn't care about that. It's pretty clear he wants to pick up his career where he left off when he comes back. (It goes without saying that BTS - and JK - will still have millions of fans after MS.)

But i don't believe thats the only reason Bam has an insta account, and i dont think it's the most significant reason either.

There are so many ways JK could have maintained a socials presence. If he wanted to be on insta, even just reposting old content would keep him at the forefront of ARMY's mind... if he had an insta account* that is.

It also got me thinking about what JK will be doing with his time off.

He isn't all that close to his family, he tells us. And most of his friends are idols, from what we see (although that could be selective information), so probably insanely busy with their own schedules. And his Bangtan brothers, his found family, are also doing their service. And he and Jimin are apparently on different shifts (if the information we have is correct).

So who is he connecting wiith?

Who is his link to home and normality?

This doggo right here is.

Besides letting JK know that Bam is happy and well cared for, the photos connect JK to home and give him something tangible to look forward to on the other side of his service.

They'd remind him that this episode of his life has an end date, that he has a place to return to, and that somebody is waiting for him to come home. Bam is waiting for him.

But why post them on instagram?

We know JK has a strong connection with ARMY. He's said many times that we're his safe place (debatable, honestly) and his happy place (I truly hope so). He's told us it's ARMY he talks to late at night when he's alone. He's also set clear boundaries about what he's prepared to share and how close we're allowed to come - although he blurs these lines himself sometimes... naked livestreams from his bed come to mind, but i digress...

I believe the insta account - Bam and ARMY together - is his anchor. This is his link back to his life before and after MS.

Sharing these photos from the training centre with his three (or four or five) million closest friends would validate for JK what his life has been, and will be again. It tells him we (like Bam) are still here, still waiting, without him ever having to ask.

It keeps that part of his life real for him.

Just to be clear,

I'm not downplaying the significance of Jimin and JK serving together in the companions program.

In my mind nothing could be more significant.

Jimin is with him day after exhausting day, just as he has been for the last twelve years. While that must be an enormous comfort to them both, these long and arduous days must still seem endless.

Getting through this difficult time with any sort of optimism would require something to look forward to, and recieving photos of Bam would give JK much happiness, and remind him that there is life outside of the camp.

They'd serve to remind him that at the end of it all he will see his beloved doggo in person...

...and that he and Jimin will go home and his little family will be whole again

💜🐰🐶🐥💛

*pretty sure he does tho...

~as always, opinions are my own and all of this is conjecture~

#jeon jungguk #park jimin #jikook #kookmin #국민 #true love #jeon bam #bam's dad #jimin and jungkook #bam's insta #bowwow bam #bts military service

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redr0sewrites · 16 hours

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Loki x reader General Hcs

this was... spontaneous! but i said i'd write for marvel and theres no better time than the present. PLEASE send in marvel requests🙏

🥀Cw: fluff, smut, switch!loki, little teensy bit of angst if u squint

🥀minors dni with the nsfw portion

sfw:

loki is a naturally guarded person, and is very intelligent and clever. he's not one to let his guard down easily and isn't used to dealing with true romantic feelings, so you are obviously very special to him

loki is incredibly intelligent and good at reading people, along with being very charismatic. he's used to charming people to get his way, and he very, very rarely shows his true feelings unless he trusts you. he cares a lot about your opinion, and a part of him really, really wants to please you

at first, it's hard for even loki to tell whether his feelings for you are genuine, and he gets completely tongue tied around you. he wants to be around you all the time, and he admires you a lot

when it comes to actually dating loki, please be patient!!! he will only truly begin to let his guard down around you over time, and he believes that you'll only find him irritating. he definitely has a big "hurt them and push them away before they hurt you", type of mentality, and when he first realizes how much he cares for you he will probably avoid you for a little

everyone knows loki loves attention, and that is no different in a relationship. he is both touch starved and touch disgusted as he doesn't want to appear vulnerable, but craves any sort of intimacy that you offer

very thoughtful, and he remembers every little detail about you. you mention how much you like a certain candy? you miraculously find those candies in your room. you tell him about an important event coming up that you're stressing about? he reminds you about it the day before. you tell him your favorite gemstone? well, you better believe that every piece of jewelry he gives you includes that gem. loki knows your favorite song, your favorite book, your favorite movie, and any and everything else about you that he deems important. you live rent free in his mind 24/7

loki loves matching with you, and he loves when you wear his signature colors. he's always complimenting you and your style, and his heart flutters a little when you ask him what he's wearing for an important event coming up so that you two can coordinate

i don't even think i can pick a love language for him, he loves giving and receiving any form of affection and you two are probably attached at the hip

HE WOULD PASS THE ORANGE PEEL TEST. loki is absolutely the type to lace up your shoes for you, making a corny joke about how he "doesn't want you falling for anyone else". he uses magic to help you a lot, and especially loves your guys' night routines

loki is nooot a morning person, and loves snuggling with you. whenever you both have to get up in the morning he's always pulling you back into bed, nuzzling into your neck and begging for "five more minutes". he's also always very groggy in the morning and won't remember most of what he does when half asleep. he's very honest as well, and says lots of sappy things whenever he's sleepy. on the rare occasion that you sleep in later than him, he loves kissing you awake and pressing kisses all over your fave!

loki naturally runs very cold, but doesn't feel cold if that makes sense. to you his skin is absolutely FREEZING, but he just feels normal. however there are times where he runs insanely hot and there is absolutely no in between. he's either freezing or burning up, and it's both a little sad and a little amusing. there are times where the cold gets to him and loki will be more clingy than usual, claiming that he needs you to warm him up. other times he will practically walk around naked, too overstimulated and hot to even touch you

loki is a lot more anxious then he seems, and will sometimes just freak out over little things when in reality its a bunch of big things piling up one after another. he never ever means to take it out on you, and even when he's reached his limit he would never hurt you, but it can still be frustrating when he gets mad at you for a simple mistake. he always apologizes and takes accountability tho, and is very careful not to hurt your feelings bc he's very afraid you'll leave him. PLEAAASEEE REASSURE HIM :((((

loki is very chatty and loves talking to you about anything and everything. from in depth psychological conversations to simple "how was your day" conversations, he just cherishes getting to be able to talk to you

nsfw

look me in the eyes and tell me he's not a switch. i definitely see him as being capable of both being a dom and a sub, and i think it really depends on your guys' moods

when he's a dom, i think loki can fluctuate on how mean or rough he is. i do see him being a more degrading or rough dom but i also think he can be a lot softer as well, and more of a pleasure dom. again, i think it all comes down to your preferences

when he's a sub, loki is definitely bratty. he loves being put in his place and getting a little roughed up, but there are also times where he just wants to relax and be taken care of. when he gets in his own head too much and is irritated after a long day he'll be a lot more pliant and willing to just let you take care of him. PLEEEASSSE praise him and pamper him when he's like this, he'll melt like putty in your hands

PRAISE + DEGRADATION!!! BOTH WAYS!!!! he absolutely has a huge praise kink and definitely praises you a looot during sex, but i also see him being a bit mean with his praise and mixing in some degrading words as well. either way he's a wonderful dirty talker and he probably has a voice kink too, considering how often he whispers in your ear (and enjoys it when you do the same).

i also think loki would be into bondage, again, both ways. theres something so delicious about seeing you tied up and squirming from just his gentle touches, but it's equally intoxicating for him to be the one tied up and denied any sort of pleasure. he gets really whiny when you don't let him touch you, and will probably start pouting and begging. tying him up is defff one of the easiest ways to break him

guys hear me out but a candle wax kink. loki is very respectful and will always ask your permission before trying something new, but he loves seeing you whimper and moan while he slowly lets a few drops of wax spill onto your smooth skin. he also will let you return the favor, and the wax often hisses and steams a bit when it hits his skin because he's so cold.

marking you is definitely very appealing to him, and it's pretty self explanatory. loki just loves marking you and being marked up by you. it satisfies his slightly possessive and jealous side, and you two always look like you've been in a fight after having sex from the number of bruises, scratches, and hickies littering your body.

another relatively self explanatory kink, but, hair pulling. he looooves it when you pull his hair while he gives you head

loki is a major tease, and he loves teasing you in public settings where you can't do much about it. it will go from subtle things like placing a hand on your lower back or caressing your thigh to whispering absolute filth in your ears and making out with you in the bathroom. he is always trying to rile you up bc he knows damn well that it will lead to a night of rough sex

we all know loki's a shapeshifter and genderfluid, so i absolutely hc that he can change his physical body to match his gender. if he's feeling more feminine, he LOVES when uou eat him out. facesitting is def something he enjoys and he loooves riding your face SOO MUCH.

loki is very vocal, he def whines and moans a lot. he isn't shy about letting you know how good he's feeling. he knows how much his voice affects you and will whisper the filthiest things in your ear between moans as you fuck him senseless

aftercare is v important to him, and whether or not he's subbing really affects how exhausted he is afterwards. if he dommed he knows he can be pretty rough and he'll run a bath for you both before getting a towel to wipe you clean and then carrying you to the tub. i also think he'd prioritize keeping you well hydrated and would get you some water and food after the bath. loki is very clingy after sex and would want you as close as possible.

when he subbed tho, it's a totally different story. loki will be a clingy mess from the moment you finish, just whining and cuddling against you the whole time. depending on how deep into subspace he is and how groggy he is, he might even cry if you try to get up (even if you're just going to get water or a towel or sum) bc he thinks you're leaving him :(. he's pretty vulnerable after subbing and will probably just lay with you for a while before coming down from his high. once he's mostly calm and cognizant, he'll def want to clean up pretty quickly. he doesn't like feeling sticky and gross and also loves bathing with you!! overall he's a lot softer after sex and generally just wants to be near to you

RAHHHH I LOVE HIM SMMM!!!! he's so silly lmao this post got sooo long 💀 i also lowkey feel like im shadowbanned or something cuz like all of my posts have been majorly flopping recently :/ maybe im just not in a lot of active fandoms idk but!!!! anyways!!!!! hope u enjoyed!!!!!!! PLEEEASE FEEL FREE TO SEND IN REQUESTS FOR MARVEL, ATSV, OR ANH OTHER FANDOM I WRITE FOR!!!

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hwanchaesong · 2 days

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Sanctuary (Love Epiphany) Preview

pairing: Heeseung X F!Reader

synopsis: Cupid's arrow was thought to be amiss, but as the world slows down and the gravity of reality pushes the feelings out just for the arrow to pierce through it, causing flowers to start blooming even during winter.

word count: tba

genre & warnings: angst, smut, fluff, warnings tba

a/n: this is a teaser for the upcoming Enhypen: Tropes & Parallels series that i've been working on. i hope y'all look forward to it. please don't hesitate to tell me if you wanted to be added to the taglist. tysm 🩷

Heeseung felt his lungs burn, desperate for air. He felt his knees buckle, begging for a few minutes of rest. He felt his heart beat faster, tired of pumping blood to keep him oxygenated. He felt his brain go numb, shutting down from how much thinking he's done for the past hour.

But he couldn't stop yet, no, he's not gonna pause his mission on finding you.

He needs to see you, to talk to you, to hold you, to hear your angelic voice once more or else he'll go insane from how much his entire being is longing for your presence.

"Heeseung? What are you doing here?"

Heaven sent, he must have done something good in his past life if he's being rewarded like this despite being a fool who couldn't play his cards right.

He turns to where your voice came from, and my god, you were as gorgeous as the day he first saw you in your backyard, wearing your soiled red overalls and ugly crying about some toy that you accidentally destroyed.

Except right now, you stand in front of him, wearing an ivory colored polyester coat, strands of your hair falling perfectly to frame your endearing face, the tip of your nose slightly red from the cold due to the winter season.

You are spectacular, more so when he saw a glimpse of the silver bracelet that he gave you before you left his side. The bracelet with his initials on it.

"Heeseung? Are you okay?" you asked him once more, worry etched on your features when he didn't answer the first time.

You were astonished to see him here, not once in your wildest dreams did you think that you'll meet the man whom you swore to bury in the back of your mind.

But then again, buried treasures are meant to be dug, to be appreciated. They are meant to be seen by the world, one that Heeseung was holding in the palm of his hands as he approached you and cupped your face.

"I'm here to look for my home." he mumbles, and you had half a mind to ask him to repeat what he said because your fuzzy senses might be playing tricks on you.

You might have heard him wrong, only to be slapped by the fact that you heard him right.

"I followed my walking diary here. My safe place, my comfort zone." He lowered his head, nuzzling his nose with yours.

"I'm here to be with my sanctuary."

taglist

@lilyuwon @ramenoil

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comradekatara · 1 day

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sokka, katara, and the paradox of “the gifted child”

something i’ve noticed is a tendency to (mis)characterize sokka as someone who is dismissed due to being a nonbender, when that’s only partially true. sokka is certainly dismissed by some for not being a bender (namely, by benders), but i think there’s a key difference between being dismissed and not being valued in one specific way. katara was valued by her tribe for being a waterbender for the very crucial reason that she was the last one left. had she been a dime a dozen in her tribe, which would have been the case were it not for the systemic extermination of her people, she would not be valued as highly for possessing this skill. that said, while sokka clearly does hold some resentment over his lack of bending ability, calling himself “the guy in the group who’s regular,” i think it’s folly to assume that this means that sokka was dismissed and discarded as “average” while katara was put on a pedestal for being special. because while katara obviously was considered special, sokka is also clearly considered special by his family, merely in different ways. and if anything, sokka embodies the archetypal struggle of the so-called "gifted child” far more than katara does.

while sokka clearly believes himself to be disposable and intrinsically worthless, i don’t think that he was actively neglected by his family. even if katara was clearly marked by her bending as embodying the last hope of their tribe, that doesn’t mean that she was seen as more gifted than he was or was designated as her family’s obvious favorite. for example, the way hakoda talks about sokka (saying he trusted him with leading and protecting the tribe when he was thirteen, calling him a genius, and other such insanely high praises to heap on a child) shows that he clearly views his son as particularly exceptional and has never been shy about showing that. sokka is distinctly insecure around his father for assumptions he makes regarding hakoda's faith in his abilities and his insecurities when it comes to his perceived failure in not measuring up as a man, but from the second we meet hakoda, it's evident that these insecurities are entirely internal and completely unfounded, at least in terms of his father's perception of him. hakoda is nothing but incredibly proud of sokka, constantly emphasizing just how capable and brilliant he believes him to be. whether or not sokka is capable of internalizing it is another story, but it's clear that hakoda is not stingy in his praise and affection, not even a little bit.

moreover, while katara is clearly kanna’s favorite on an emotional level, she nonetheless affords sokka far more respect. she admonishes katara and tells her to do her chores, and notably, she also impresses the importance of “listening to her brother,” and backs up sokka’s decision to banish aang from the village. you can claim that sexism plays a factor in how sokka views his own supposed position of authority, but kanna is a woman who traveled the entire globe as a teenager because she wanted to escape patriarchal impositions dictating her life. she’s simply far too smart to treat sokka as any sort of authority within their village if she did not fully entrust him with that responsibility. she treats sokka almost like a peer, as if she is legitimately co-running the village with a fifteen year old boy.

katara is only a couple years younger than sokka at most, but her dynamic with kanna is very different. on one hand, kanna clearly sees more of herself in katara, can identify with her sense of adventure and rebellious spirit, but on the other hand, it means that she views katara as a child to be taken care of, who needs to be reminded to do her chores and bailed out when she gets herself into trouble. sokka doesn't want to be viewed as a child, and so he does everything in his power to position himself as kanna's equal rather than her grandson. he takes his duties and responsibilities very seriously, and is obedient to a fault whenever he is submitting to any authority he actually respects, especially his father and grandmother. to be honest, a lot of what katara considers coddling is probably just sokka never being bossed around by their grandmother because she never actually has to tell him to do his chores. because despite katara's claim that he simply faffs about "playing soldier," sokka's problem is actually that he takes himself too seriously for her liking. and with the exception of kanna saying "be nice to your sister," which is the kind of teasing a parent says to their child, she clearly respects sokka's position in the village. when katara tries to run away with aang, kanna takes sokka's side and forbids her from acting impulsively, but when sokka is the one who packs supplies and plans to save aang, kanna gives them both her blessing.

katara is the only person who takes umbrage with the notion of sokka running the village and telling her what to do all day. and those frustrations have likely accumulated up from a lifetime of being told to “do as her brother says” and “why can’t she be smarter and more responsible and levelheaded blah blah blah.” she clearly thinks that she’s punching up when she yells at or mocks him, which may seem crazy to anyone who understands that sokka’s entire identity and existence revolves around being katara’s protector, but katara doesn’t actually know this. in her mind sokka is merely the perfect child who has always represented this impossible standard of “genius.” and what's more, he's absolutely insufferable about it.

and to be clear, this isn’t to say that katara herself isn’t highly intelligent, capable, competent, and skilled. she’s not only an incredibly talented waterbender, but also clever, quick, witty, creative, resourceful, practical, mature, and thoughtful in other ways. at one point, toph calls her a genius (“a stinky, sweaty genius”). and she is, indeed, an extremely powerful and innovative waterbender, both due to her hard work, but also because she is genuinely brilliant. that said, she’s smart in the realistic way that a kid is smart; she works hard to be good at what she cares about (and she has an existentially devastating reason to care about being a good waterbender, mind you), and she’s also good at thinking on the fly when she needs to. however, unlike sokka, or even toph, her intellect may be impressive, but it isn’t astonishing. sokka’s mind functions completely anomalously. i wouldn't say he's unrealistically intelligent, because i do know some people in real life who are similarly adept at processing all kinds of different information with the ability to deftly apply it near-immediately, but it is certainly abnormal, both for real world standards and within his universe.

i normally bristle at this term and its applications (for multiple reasons), but since it is explicitly stated multiple times across the show, it is important to acknowledge that sokka is referred to as a genius multiple times, including by his father. katara is referred to as being a genius by toph for using her own sweat to waterbend (which, as hama points out an episode later, isn't even that clever because you can literally bend water from the air around you); conversely, sokka is referred to as a genius for helping to invent hot air balloons and for figuring out multiple escape routes from the world's most secure prison in less than a day. we don't know the exact timeframe under which katara trained with pakku and earned the title of master, but she clearly worked incredibly hard to earn that title, not only as a master, but as the greatest waterbender in the entire world. i assume it was any time between a few weeks and a little over a month in which zhao would organize a fleet to arrive at the north pole, which is, of course, extremely impressive in itself and a testament to her passion and determination. however, on the other hand, piandao claims that sokka has basically mastered the sword and is ready to make his own within less than a day. it's important to remember that katara is also brilliant in her own way, and possesses great skills that sokka lacks: not only bending, but also midwifery, and an ability to locate her own emotions and allow herself to be vulnerable with others, two skills which should never be looked down upon for their association with womanhood and femininity, and are also particularly impressive considering just how young katara is. she is brilliant in her own right, and in any other family, katara would easily have been "the smart one." and yet, sokka is simply in a league of his own.

so, yeah, he can stand to get thrown around and yelled at; everyone her entire childhood just kept on impressing how special and perfect and brilliant he is, he can handle it. she has no idea that he is depressed, depersonalizes, loathes himself, and thinks he’ll never be good enough, because he never actually communicates any of that to her. the closest he ever comes is admitting that he’s jealous due to not having bending abilities, and even that shocks katara, even though it’s such a small and obvious admission in the scheme of things. she has no idea what’s going on with him psychologically, how he views himself in relation to others, and specifically in relation to her, so she kind of just assumes he’s entitled because surely he must know how special he is and thus feels owed accolades by the world at every turn. he deserves to be humbled, and she is in fact righteous for humbling him.

when she makes fun of him for being stupid or miserable or paranoid or cynical, she thinks she’s owning him the way a righteous underdog fights against an oppressor. it's similar to how zuko wants to "put azula in her place." in katara and zuko's minds, they are both the valiant underdog siblings who had to fight and struggle against the siblings for whom everything came so easily. and in katara’s mind especially, she is always punching up, and she always has a moral justification in lashing out at anyone she pleases. so she couldn’t fathom that the reason sokka puts up with her antagonism without complaint isn’t because he’s so above her that he can simply ignore her taunts and gibes without a care (if that were the case, he wouldn't bother to taunt and gibe in return), but rather that he feels so detached from his own personhood that he would never think to actually explain his feelings to the person whom he has defined himself through since childhood. and if he did ever, somehow, communicate that to her, she’d have to reevaluate their whole entire lives and dynamic. but he never will communicate that to her, so she’ll never actually have to do that.

moreover, even though katara often does tease sokka and cast doubt upon his competence and abilities in low-stakes situations constantly, whenever they are actually facing a real problem that requires an immediate solution, katara seems to forget that sokka is supposedly an unhelpful, lazy, immature idiot because she immediately turns to him to fix all their issues. and then once that issue is resolved, katara goes back to finding his existence bothersome. sokka, on the other hand, falls into this role of problem solver instinctually, with the one exception that when they actually name him as the idea guy, he jokingly complains that it’s a lot of pressure to be one who is always expected to come up with solutions. and while he is joking during that conversation in “the drill,” he’s being honest to an extent, because his perfectionism and fear of failure is truly dire.

when katara is faced with failure, whether as the consequences for her own actions or otherwise, she simply gets back up and tries again. she can’t be knocked down, she can’t be deterred from achieving her goals. she has a very healthy approach to making mistakes, and while she doesn’t always learn from them in the longterm, she does always try her best to fix them and amend the situation as immediately as possible. katara is someone who is incredibly resilient and is constantly demonstrating the sheer magnitude of her inner strength, especially in particularly difficult moments. she has the ability to fail as many times as it takes without letting that failure affect her own self-esteem or desire to keep striving for what she believes in.

sokka, on the other hand, is very physically resilient (he gets beat up a lot), but his emotional resilience is actually quite pathetic. he has no tools for coping with failure. from even the slightest mistake, like not actually being able to open the doors at the fire temple with his makeshift explosives, to a catastrophic one, like his failed invasion, sokka immediately retreats inward. in “the boiling rock,” sokka demonstrates how his first ever real failure that rests squarely on his own shoulders is so devastating to him that he becomes totally irrational and suicidal in an attempt to “rectify” the situation. he does not know how to cope with failure, because he expects himself to be perfect at all times. and it’s not because sokka is overly proud, but rather that his guilt complex is so profound that he blames himself for every single thing that goes awry at all times, even when it isn’t actually his fault whatsoever. so that guilt and shame is magnified a thousand fold when sokka is actually culpable for those losses.

one of many ways in which it is evident that sokka is the older sibling is that he clearly lives with the mentality that if katara messes up or gets herself in danger due to her own impulsive inclinations, it’s always actually sokka’s fault for not being a better, more attentive brother. when she sets off the booby trap in the banned ship, sokka banishes aang from the village so as to protect katara from herself. when katara experiences the consequences of heedlessly blowing up a factory, sokka gets mad at her for her recklessness, but also immediately finds a way to help her fix this situation, because that’s his job, and in fact, his primary purpose on this earth. this is a dynamic sokka has probably internalized even before he was assigned the role of her sworn protector, because that’s just how being the eldest is.

sokka’s tendency to take responsibility for everyone else’s mistakes and his desire to shoulder everyone else’s pain at all times, coupled with his implicit belief that he, uniquely, cannot afford to mess up ever (if other people make mistakes it’s fine and he can help them fix it, but if he makes mistakes he no longer has a purpose on this planet, goodbye cruel world), definitely indicates that he was held to an incredibly high standard all his life. he expects himself to be able to handle a lot of responsibility with perfect ease because he always has. he isn’t used to making mistakes of any kind. if he puts his mind into learning a new skill, he always masters it within a couple of days, whatever that skill happens to be. unlike katara, sokka is used to things coming easily to him, and what he isn’t used to is failure.

katara and sokka are both exceptional, of course, but in very different ways, and for very different reasons. katara grew up with a lot of external pressure to excel as a waterbender, because she needs to embody her cultural legacy and prove that her mother’s sacrifice was not in vain. it’s an unfathomable burden to place on a child, and the rate at which she improves her waterbending once she is actually given the resources to hone her skills is a testament to her perseverance and untiring dedication. katara becomes the greatest waterbender in the world not because she is a natural prodigy (which is something she bristles at when aang does display prodigious skill), but because she is incredibly determined and no one can outmatch the strength of her heart and unshakable commitment when she is pursuing a goal. as pakku even says, raw talent isn’t everything, and katara’s abilities prove that despite not being “naturally gifted,” hard work and determination is far more important when it comes to excelling in any given domain.

however, if katara’s motivation to be excellent is externally imposed by the tragic circumstances of her life, sokka’s motivations are, at the very least, internally maintained. as aforementioned, i have no doubt that he received a lot of external validation and praise from the adults in his life as a child with a dazzling, brilliant mind. as has been established, sokka is constantly displaying an ability to synthesize new information at a staggering rate, which likely means that before katara had even discovered her ability to waterbend, sokka was probably being fawned over for the impressive rate at which he was picking up new skills as a baby. since pretty much everything (cerebral, at least) comes easily to sokka, i can only imagine that hakoda, who never hesitates to express to his children how proud he is of them, would constantly affirm sokka’s intellect. and by boasting that sokka takes after himself (hakoda also refers to himself as a genius, completely sincerely), he unwittingly plants the first seeds in fostering sokka’s belief that he must be exactly like his father in every way, and that any deviation from hakoda’s image would prove him unworthy. but he will never be the spitting image of hakoda the way that katara is "the spitting image of kanna" because sokka is already the spitting image of kya, if not – perish the thought – his own person entirely.

unlike katara, who spent her whole childhood trying to waterbend by herself with little success (beyond, of course, isolated instances demonstrating her sheer raw power when her bending was being influenced by her incredibly strong and passionate emotions), sokka always felt like he could handle the amount of responsibility he was given, because everything came easily to him. until the day that his life changed forever, and suddenly the stakes were no longer abstract, but tangible and personally devastating. sokka had never learned that it was okay to fail as a child because he never had a reason to, and then suddenly, he could not afford to fail under any circumstances. failure of any kind went from being a (purely hypothetical) blow to the ego, to being something that could directly endanger the lives of his loved ones. and so sokka decides that the only way to not be culpable for his potential failures is to be a martyr.

of course, there are instances in which sokka is proven to be inept, such as on kyoshi island or with piandao, wherein his humility and open-mindedness are put on display and sokka puts aside his own standards of perfection to learn from a master, but i don't think these instances qualify as failures. for one thing, sokka happens to master the forms he is being taught in less than a day, at an unprecedented rate, and thus these initially humiliating blindspots in his knowledge become victories as sokka absorbs new knowledge. sokka is always eager to learn, and willing to acknowledge his lack of expertise in area, humbling himself to learn from others any chance he gets. no, what i mean by "failure" as it relates to sokka's self-perception and ego is not a lack of knowledge, but an inability to protect another. to sokka, his existence is defined by his ability to provide and protect, and thus, a failure is, specifically, when someone gets hurt under his watch. that is what it means to not be able to afford to fail. he is not overly proud (if anything he is overly insecure), but he also understands that the stakes of failure – real failure – are tangible.

so when it comes to failure that carries grave consequences, he would rather be dead than fallible (or, responsible for not adequately protecting his loved ones), one million times over. and so every time someone makes a sacrifice for him, he feels as if he has failed on a fundamental level, because simply being exceptional is not enough, he must also bear the entire world’s suffering alone – as (in his mind) hakoda instructed him to when he left him behind to protect and provide for the village. otherwise he has failed in his promise to be needed, which is his raison d’être. sokka’s complex is very obviously not informed solely by his upbringing as a “gifted kid,” and in fact largely informed by the dehumanizing logic of war as it necessitates sacrifice, but his inability to accept his own fallibility as a product of his self-dehumanization is, at the very least, compounded by his debilitating perfectionism.

thus, katara and sokka's dynamic within their family isn’t “gifted kid and neglected kid,” but rather “two gifted kids who are gifted in different ways, one of those ways being valued more on a cultural level due to its scarcity as a byproduct of genocide.” while katara was put on a pedestal her entire life due to her ability to waterbend, it doesn’t mean that sokka wasn’t put on a pedestal in other ways. if anything, the reason hakoda entrusted a child with the burdens he did was specifically because he put his son on a pedestal. sokka assumes that hakoda didn't think he was capable enough to join his army, but that couldn't be further from the truth. hakoda trusted his thirteen year old son so much that he genuinely thought it best to leave him alone with this duty to defend his village and protect katara at all costs. he didn't leave a single man behind, not even the other teenage boys, because that's how much faith he had in a child to take his responsibilities seriously and perform them competently. and if that decision gave sokka one million different complexes and fucked him up for life, it wasn’t because he wasn’t valued for his abilities, it’s because he was overvalued and given too much responsibility at too young an age.

both he and katara struggled to live up to the expectations placed on them, forced to fulfill the roles of their parents instead of being allowed to exist as children. but crucially, katara sees the injustice in that, and clings to her childhood even as she strives for greatness, and sokka simply doesn't. he's long accepted that injustice, and in fact feels guilty that he cannot better live up to the impossible portrait of an idolized father, an idealized masculinity, an illusory model of the infallible, unshakeable warrior. despite all his achievements and natural giftedness, he nonetheless feels totally inadequate, deeply flawed, and ontologically worthless. perhaps, in a world beyond the pressures of war and its dehumanizing logic, sokka would have internalized the praise he was constantly receiving his whole life for his gifts. but since he was only ever a prodigy in ways that didn’t matter (within that colonized paradigm), he doesn’t actually care about how clever and brilliant and creative and talented and unique and special he is, because that would first require him to see himself as fully human, and he can’t even do that.

#analysis #sokka #katara #katara&sokka #hakoda #kanna #kya #hakoda&sokka #kanna&sokka #kya&sokka #kanna&katara #whew...! 20+ paragraphs about sokka and katara’s childhood. it’s more likely than u think (highly likely at all times)#see but this is why sokka is so clearly a mirror to azula to me #like not just in terms of crippling perfectionism and devastating fear of failure and being a child prodigy who is put on a pedestal #but simultaneously dehumanized etc etc #but also the fact that like. zuko treats her the same way katara treats sokka #he clearly thinks his immediate hostility and aggression towards her is like. him nobly fighting the battle against his tormentor #when that is literally his little sister and she is struggling so much and desperate for support from LITERALLY ANYONE #katara and zuko are like ‘let’s put azula in her place’ and high five #and that’s just so fucking apt because they truly do believe that it’s their duty to put their perfect prodigy siblings ‘in their place’#but those are truly two of the most miserable people on the planet #so to any outside observers it’s just like………. why are you being mean to them they’re literally suicidal and shaking like a leaf #but also everyone already knows that azula is the prodigious gifted sibling bc zuko says it like one million times #so there’s rly no need to argue that #whereas katara loves calling sokka an idiot so i do believe that some clarification is in order #but like. yeah there’s no way sokka was dismissed or neglected as a child #he’s dismissed and neglected by the world at large #but within his tribe he’s like a mini celebrity . he’s their young sheldon (sorry)#anyway im running out of room to write tags but um. perfectionism is a disease get well soon xoxo bye

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cvntyworld · 10 hours

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wasteland survival guide ( maximus )

summary: you didn't trust easy, but the unconscious man on your porch was way too pretty to let die, and you were way too curious as to why someone from that cult known as the brotherhood would have collapsed on your door in need of help and expecting you to help was an even more insane point of view.

contents: usual fallout shenanigans, violence, gore, black cat and golden retriever energy, max has a tooth lodged in his shoulder like he does in the show, reader pointed a gun at max, awkward tensions as max doesn't know what tf he's doing, fast burn, kissing, ect...

dedicated to: @fallout-girl219

You've learned two things about the man who you found collapsed on your front porch, his name is Maximus, Max for short, and he was a part of the brotherhood of steel, a cult, in your honest opinion.

Why you had helped him, you still weren't sure about that just yet, maybe it was the fact he was in the way and you would have to step over him every time you entered your house or exited it. You would have to listen to his cries of complaint, desperate for help as his sleeve became a red stain from the wound in his arm. So you decided to help, for once, you had plenty of stim packs and he would get better in no time with one of them. You had dragged him inside pathetically, nearly tripping on the final step when you finally got him into your house.

He had a tooth lodged in his shoulder, rotten and yellow, you had removed it with tweezers and stuck the needle from the stim pack into the open wound and then after seconds, he had woken up with a jolt whilst you turned your back for a mere second, too busy shoving the box back into your cabinet and locking it.

You had heard the thump and turned sharply, your gun pointed at the man who had fallen off your coach with a painful groan, clutching his arm as he sat up and stared at you with a look of worry when he saw the gun you're pointing right at his head. He held his hands up, as you continued to point your weapon, "If I lower this, you're not gonna try anything stupid, are you?" He shakes his head, staring widely as you lowered the gun and in turn held out your hand for him to take, he was surprised at your strength, managing to get him onto his feet with a single pull of his hand.

He was suddenly in your space and so you step back, a little cautious of his taller frame, he could win a fight if he'd chosen to be hostile, but instead he had held out a hand for you to shake to which you agreed. "Thanks for uhh... not letting me die on your porch." He says with a wave of awkwardness in his tone, "I'm Max, Maximus." You let go of his hand with a shrug, "I'm Y/N." You were quick to reply, and he nodded at you with a smile.

"Well, thank you, Y/N, for your hospitality... You don't get a lot of that these days, especially towards brotherhood of steel members." You shrug at him dismissively, sitting down on your worn out couch, "I'm not the biggest fan, no offence, but, I'm not that cruel, I wouldn't leave your ass to bleed out in my yard." He tried to laugh, but your dislike towards the brotherhood made him frown with a look of disappointment. "I don't mean to pry but why do you dislike them? Surely there's a reason." You shrug out of laziness, and turn to face him, "Well, for one, it is such a cult full of military wannabes who think they're gonna save the world or something like that when what they're actually doing is making shit ten times worse." Max was taken aback by your words, sure there were a few truths to your words but the first point made him forget what else had been said so far.

"The brotherhood isn't a cult."

The two of you grew silent, Max had a frown on his face, offended at your words, and then after fully letting it sink in what he had said, you laughed. Your lungs burned out from the breaths you inhaled, trying to get air as you had continued to laugh at his reaction and his words and the man in front of you went even further to prove how you'd offended him by crossing his arms. "What's so funny?" Is the first thing he asks when you finally calm down and it finally makes you turn to him with a shrug, "Most people who are in a cult usually don't know they're in one." Max's lips part to speak and then he falters, "That's a very good point but the brotherhood still isn't a cult."

"It definitely is." You reply bored, "No, it isn't!" He fires at you with an annoyance. "You know, considering I saved your life, the least you can do is agree with me." You're aware he's becoming a little annoyed by you disagreeing with him and so he stands up, "I'm gonna go now." You nod at him, "That would be great, thank you!"

He hovers in place, "I'm leaving now!" He says but still is unmoving, looking rather unsure when you crossed your arms and raised a brow at him, "The doors right there, I'd see you out but I gotta clean this blood off my couch." At your words, Max frowns and glances at the door, "I'll get going then!" He moves a few steps towards the door and then pauses when you scoff, "You've yet to get out of my house, you lost your sense of direction, pal?"

"Can I kiss you?" He asks randomly, "Excuse me?" You're quick to ask with a raised brow. "Can I kiss you?" He asks again, this time a little more awkwardly. "Thought there's some sort of rule in your cult, no sex before marriage or something like that?" He shakes his head, "We're allowed but the brotherhood doesn't exactly allow girls to join us back at base, it's forbidden." He explains and then stares at you suddenly with wide eyes, "Oh, my god, it is a cult!" He exclaims and you laugh breathily, "Told you so..." Max takes a step closer to you now, toe to toe, as he looks at you softly, "Can I still kiss you, even though I'm in a cult?" He asks unsurely and you answer by pressing your soft lips to his, catching him off guard as he suddenly rocked back onto his heels slightly when you parted your lips, a grin on your features at his flustered face, "That answer your question?"

"Yes, yes it does."

#fallout #fallout tv show #fallout tv series #maximus fallout #fallout maximus #maximus x reader #maximus #we need more max fics out here #he's literally a sweetheart

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fllarwx · 15 hours

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𝐇𝐀𝐍𝐃𝐒,𝐅𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐄𝐑𝐒,𝐉𝐀𝐖-𝐬𝐩𝐞𝐧𝐜𝐞𝐫 𝐫𝐞𝐢𝐝 𝐨𝐧𝐞𝐬𝐡𝐨𝐭 𝐒𝐌𝐔𝐓!

𝐓𝐖:𝐮𝐧𝐩𝐫𝐨𝐭𝐞𝐜𝐭𝐞𝐝 𝐬𝐞𝐱,𝐩 𝐢𝐧 𝐯,𝐜𝐡𝐨𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐠,𝐦𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐮𝐫𝐛𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧,𝐭𝐨𝐮𝐜𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠

You were part of the FBI,you joined a couple of months ago so you were pretty new.

You would normally focus on work and the cases you were given.However,you were focused on work while someone was focused on you

Spencer Reid

He couldn’t take his eyes off you ever since you joined,you were like an angel sent from above.You were beautiful in his eyes

But he only watched from afar and would only talk to you when you got partnered up for cases anything outside of work he would become a stuttering mess

What he didn’t know is that you noticed,you noticed him staring at you,smiling at you,blushing because of you.

So you did something about it

You were reading over file after file when you saw Spencer walking past you

You put the file down,looking up at him smiling before speaking

“Hey Spencer,you alright”you said smiling looking up at him since he wasn’t taller than you,since you were 5,4 and he was around 6,0

He looked down at you becoming a stuttering mess,you smiled even more giggling “you okay there spence”

That nickname you gave him made him go insane,everytime you said it he would get even more hungry for you,for your body

He smirked looking down at you “I’m doing amazing now that your speaking to me”

You were shocked you had never seen this side of Spencer “oh yeah how amazing are you talking about” you asked biting your lip

“How about I show you” Spencer got closer you were now hitting the wall behind you

You nervously gulped “be my guest spence”

All of a sudden he smashed his lip against yours you immediately kissed back both becoming hungry for each other

He picked you up,you wrapped your legs around him he made his way down your neck all the way to your collarbone it was like his lips were magic

You moaned he looked up at you before asking “do you want this,do you want me?” He said smirking

You nodded frantically your panties becoming wet from his voice and his dominance

“Use your words darling” “yes please Spencer I need you” he smiled putting you down

“Knees now” he said looking down as you got on your knees he unbuckled his belt like it wasn’t anything

“You know what to do” you started at the tip before taking his big cock in your mouth,he threw his head back

“That’s a good girl” he moaned that nickname made you go feral something corrupted you

You sucked faster Spencer started to moan louder his whimpers becoming more vibrant

You felt him twitch inside your mouth before he exploded inside your mouth “swallow” he said in a deep,corrupted voice

You did as he said he was now helping you up pushing onto the table throwing everything that was on it onto the floor

“Are you sure we should do it in here”you asked innocently looking up at him through your mascara covered lashes

“I want you and I want you now” he said coming closer

You stared at each other for a while before Spencer ripped your top off you doing the same you both were now undressed

He flipped you over you were now straddling him before he said “my cock is throbbing for your pussy”

You slowly went down on his dick closing your eyes as his 8 inches went inside of you

You started to whimper “f-fuck Spencer your s-so big.” He smirked knowing he was destroying your pretty little cunt

“Yeah you like that don’t you pretty girl..you like my cock inside your pretty cunt” that made you shiver

“Mhm” “use your words pretty girl” you moaned even more “yes,yes spence I love your big cock in my cunt”

He smirked his thrusts became quicker and harder “how much do you want this cock huh?take like a good little girl you are..”

Spencer started moaming becoming a hot mess “fuck I’m close” he said

He grabbed your neck choking you but letting some air out

“Me too spence,m-me too” you started moaning and whimpering

The not you felt in your stomach was coming undone you were now both moaning in sync before you both let go

Cum was running down his dick while his cum was filling you up

You were now both breathing heavily

𝐢 𝐠𝐮𝐞𝐬𝐬 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐲 𝐝𝐢𝐝 𝐬𝐡𝐨𝐰 𝐦𝐞

#spencer reid #spencer reid smut #Spencerreidsmut

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fatuismooches · 7 hours

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I was just thinking and like... pet names that Dottore would use? Are you kidding me??

Like, when he's teasing, he would use something like "Doll" to just make sure you know he's playing around. Just a little doll to play with.

"Don't make that face, you know I'm just joking, doll."

But if it was a more serious thing? He strikes me as a "my love" kinda guy. Or even "dearest" occasionally.

"Good morning, my love."

"Are you hungry, dearest?"

I like to think occasionally if he's busy and/or needs alone time he just pulls off his gloves, walks over to reader, cups their cheeks and

"Honey, sweetheart, light of my life, would you like to spend some time around the segments? Thank you, I love you."

RAAAAAAH HE MAKES ME INSANE

Although Dottore uses pet names a lot more frequently than his younger selves did (they still cringe a bit at it) of course he rarely ever uses them to fully or truly be romantic. There are times when cute ones like "my (be)love(d)/dear(est)" slip out without much thought, or perhaps you're especially vulnerable and need something more soothing. Whenever these moments happen, they never fail to be endearing and warm your heart, considering how foreign it feels to hear such things come out of that man’s mouth. You never get quite used to it and he most definitely abuses this.

…But a lot of time he uses them to rile you up or tease you, to see your expression change every couple of seconds at his sheer audacity. He finds it very amusing to see you chew on your lip, struggling to find the words to quip back like you normally do when bantering. It’s an experiment of sorts for the scholar(s). (Because the older segments also tend to partake in this to gather results.)

Dottore also loves to tease you with darling. He tends to stretch the word out too, dragging it out as he purrs it into your ear, in a very successful attempt (much to your dismay) to get you to calm down whenever he needs to - you can't be mad at him anymore when he goes into that tone, can you?

It’s also really obvious when Dottore's being sarcastic with his pet names like you said… the half-sincere and half-insincerity makes you pout a bit but, you’re not too mad about it. That’s just how he is sometimes. You’ll just go and bother some other segments and let them flirt with you, and then wait a bit for Prime to eventually come back and drag you away.

If you also happen to have any pet names that make you cringe, occasionally he likes to purposely use them on you to see you get embarrassed, laughing at your groans. Unfortunately, you won't be able to get him embarrassed. His main expressions toward your pet names are 1) indifference as he hums in response 2) confusion at something unusual or weird 3) mild annoyance if you continue to call him that weird pet name.

#smooches talks #dottore love notes <3 #ngl 'doll' has never been one of my fav pet names but when i hear dottore say it... yes i am ur doll bb #regardless BITES HIM BITES HIM BITES HIM BITES HIM #BITES HIM BITES HIM BITES HIM BITES HIM #BITES HIM BITES HIM BITES HIM BITE #anyway i have finals soon... FEAR rn #actually no bc its gonna be summer soon and its gonna be mad hot and imma be pissed #i mean im mostly only scared for economics... i cant describe how much idk whats going on lmao

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yandere-fics · 10 hours

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♡ Veronia Finds Out Her Mate Is Her Great Great Great Niece ♡

Veronia remembered at one point she had had a sister, a half sister, her mother had birthed her on her own with no other parent but later on she had found her mate and had a second child with them, this child being half human half dragon, left to live in a human village and Veronia hadn't heard of her or her family and since her parents had both died, her mother slain and her other mother died of grief, there was no need for Veronia to keep in touch.

You had always known the dragon in the forest was your distant aunt, the story had been passed down for generations, though there were some parts that you believed much less than others, namely the part where they all met a "soulmate" and were just insanely drawn to them and could never look at anyone else. That kind of thing wasn't out there for you, you'd only had one thing you'd thought about that way, the dragon in the forest. She must have been so cool, you'd always longed to meet her and so getting sick of your family telling you how you just needed to be patient, you'd meet your soulmate soon, you packed up and headed out.

"Great Dragon! I'm your niece! It's nice to meet you!" She really was so much cooler and prettier than you expected and for a moment you'd started to think those silly soulmate claims were true but this was your aunt, of course it wasn't possible for her to be your soulmate. Her world came crashing down when you said those words, of course she had recognized you were part dragon, she just never thought you were part dragon from her younger sister.

"Oh... well come into my cave dearest m- niece. What brings you here?" Now that you were here there was no chance in hell she was allowing you to go home, she just had to find a way to break all the soulmate stuff to you and it wouldn't be long before she was plowing your dearest nie-mate? She was so confused on what to even call you, the point was she planned on laying you down on her best furs very soon, you were part dragon surely you'd understand the natural pull towards the other. If not she maybe need to imprison you in her forest for the time being until you understood.

#yandere oc #yandere lesbian #yandere x reader #yandere x y/n #yandere scenarios #tw.incest #my oc veronia

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tragedyslut · 16 hours

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Pregnancy `sfw`

a/n : this was requested.. but im a moron and i lost the ask. as usual. pls request more im drowning in work and i need something to do in my down time lmao

basically the request was Abby taking care of fem reader who's pregnant,, Nd like after reader gives birth etc. so yea!!

being pregnant was hard on you. as much as it would be anyone. abby was so accepting. even at the start when everyone in the camp thought of you as a burden, she was always there. sometimes she got angry that you couldn't do active duty as your pregnancy went on, but obviously she couldn't blame you for being pregnant. as hypocritical as it was, during the early stages of your pregnancy when you still were allowed on active duty, she'd keep extra eyes on you. anything heavy? she'll lift it. if she caught you doing anything that could in some way harm you or the baby she'd go irate. during the birth it was horrible. no pain meds and in a small abandoned building. it really was not ideal. she was there the whole time, holding your hand and telling you itd be okay.

when the baby was here she loved it about as much as you did. the only thing she didn't like was how god damn loud children were. sometimes your kid would attract runners, clickers, all sorts to the safe house gates and freaked everyone out.

but she loved them nonetheless. she'd play with them, and comfort you when you got overwhelmed from taking care of them. because damn, taking care of a kid in the apocalypse was not easy.

when you were pregnant, she made a note when she was out on patrol to check in every place she could think of that might have any supplies that could help make the pregnancy easier. even after you gave birth, she managed to scrounge up some goats milk, and just overall she was the best. despite being a " cold blooded killer " when your kid said their first words she spent ages crying over it.

when you were pregnant, if anyone even aimed a gun in your general direction that was that. she'd go absolutely insane. she wouldn't let anyone hurt you, or the baby.

#Spotify #ellie tlou #joel tlou #the last of us #tlou #tlou2 #ellie tlou smut #ellie williams smut #abby the last of us #abby tlou #abby anderson #abby is scary as fuck #abby being the dom bitch that she is #abby smut

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fairycosmos · 17 hours

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Accidentally drank too much on an empty stomach last night and don't remember the last hour or so of the night so today I feel crazy embarrassed and ashamed even though according to my step tracker I just went on a walk around my neighborhood and according to my youtube history I was listening to 2000s pop punk. Yet I still feel like a criminal who needs to flee town I'm so sure I embarrassed myself. Why do I feel so much hangxiety?? I want the earth to swallow me up 😞

ughhhhhh youre literally so real like this has happened to me soooo many times and i know it's hell. i read something once about how it's just the alcohol that is still in ur system making the chemicals in your brain feel all off balanced and that's why even though you know you didn't do anything wrong the shame is still there. i always try to comfort myself by going through a quick mental checklist like did i hurt anyone? did i spend an insane amount of money? did i say anything objectiviely offensive? if the answer is no to all of those then i remind myself to just breathe through it bc nothing of note has happened, my brain is just a hungover hater. i know that's a lot easier said than done but honestly the feeling is only there until it inevitably fades and it will fade. i also notice that the more i think myself in circles about this trying to get rid of the shame and analyse it the harder it is to let it go so after the mental checklist i just recommend letting it be there, letting the feeling persist for however long it wants to and gently guiding your attention towards something else - a show, a hobby, a song, a walk, whatever. make sure you are watered and fed and get some more rest if needed. i'm srry you're going through this rn and i know words dont put a dent in it but honestly the burning anxiety will get smaller and smaller over the course of the next few days, promise. also side note i would love to walk around drunk and listen to 2000s pop punk with you! :^) x

#anon #ask chloe

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loud-whistling-yes · 2 days

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beloved mutual loud-whistling-yes please tell me the story on how pearl found your blog I am so curious now /nf

ok its been like 2 years since this happened i barely said a word about it but ok whatever pearl probably forgot about it i think i can say it now

October 24th, 2022

Pearl announces the release of her dl plushie

It's several months after dl's finale and 2 weeks until my birthday

My mental state in this period of time was solidly parked in the Pearl Insanity Zone

I want- no, I need that plushie

It's 138 ringgit

The plushie is 138 fucking ringgit

My mother refuses to let me buy the plushie

Not even as my birthday present

Not even if I offer to pay with my own money

I was this close to chewing up the furniture

I am not allowed to chew up the furniture

I choose instead to scream and cry on tumblr about it because well where else was I gonna cry about it

In a moment of stupidity and plushie-mourning grief

I maintag the post for personal sorting reasons

October 30th, 2022

It's exactly one week until my birthday

I get an ask in my inbox

It's tumblr user pearlescentmoo

Wait

TUMBLR USER PEARLESCENTMOO????????????????

I check the blog to see if this is a troll blog or something

NOPE

IT'S REAL

PEARLESCENT FUCKING MOON JUST SENT ME AN ASK

She says she feels bad that I can't get the plushie cause of the price

She wants to send me a discount code so I can get the plushie for free

Wait what

SHE WANTS TO SEND ME A DISCOUNT CODE SO I CAN GET THE PLUSHIE FOR FREE?????????????

I distinctly remember feeling like I was gonna throw up on my laptop

Oh yeah also losing my mind on whatsapp with my irl friends who have no idea what the fuck was going on

Problem is

She sent this to me via an ask

I'm pretty sure her DMs were closed at the time

Look man I wasn't gonna blast the fact Pearl's giving out plushies for free all willy nilly like that I have standards

I tried responding to her via answering the ask privately

The answer gets sent

I never get a reply

I'm pretty sure that tumblr, in it's true tumblr fashion, ate the ask

I never got the plushie

And that's the story of why Pearl definitely knows that my blog was titled "pearl my blorbo skrunkly poor pathetic meow meow"

It's been 2 years and I still want to die

#asks #IM NOT MAINTAGGING THIS EVEN FOR SORTING REASONS IM NOT REPEATING THE SAME MISTAKE AGAIN #anyways she did reblog more of my art after that but this event was what really shaped me

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newty · 2 days

Text

its been said before but that wish u were my master/ill be ur servant exchange is so insane. i wish i could listen and obey your worries abt bahamut but the empire comes first. i wish i didnt have exorbitant power over you and that i could prioritize your needs. if i wasnt forced to make the decisions that hurt you and i, maybe I would let myself fail practicality once. nothing can change outside of this moment.

versus and this is how i remain close to you and how i can still help you. i gave up my own military prospects to be here. this is the only thing i can say to make u feel like this societal arrangement is okay. you will not change me or get rid of me under some notion of fairness. i wont challenge your orders, even if theyre misguided, but ill ensure they succeed. what the fuck

#they couldve been great and powerful and tyrannical but instead they pretend that they can be kind #and theyre kind in the most cruel ways #im eating woodchips.#jodh n dem said this but oh my GOD terence is nothing. he is everything #brihamut's mercy

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