#how do I tell this to people that sometimes I just cannot take it anymore. Probably not at all. We'll see how Rome goes. | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

universalitgirlsblog2 · 2 months

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🧁🍥STOP BEING LAZY AND PATHETIC🧁🍥

This post is my notes of Thewizardliz video on how to stop being lazy and pathetic. This account will be my digital notebook where I will write notes from Liz and Tam Kaur's videos ( LOL ) .

🧁WHO ARE LAZY PEOPLE ?

Lazy people are the forgotten ones. People that don't want to do anything with their lives, they will always end up on a sideline.

🍥REALIZE THAT NO ONE CARES IF YOU ARE LAZY

Everybody has problems. No one cares about your victim mindset and about how life was hard/ unfair for you. Life is unfair to everyone . Life goes on. Everyone is busy with their own lives. We got to get moving !

🧁YOU AREN'T LAZY , YOU ARE PRIVILEGED

People that need to survive have no option to be lazy . People that are walking up the stairs and they can barely breathe , they have no option anymore than to lose that weight. People that are so vulnerable and their bodies cannot handle of them being so underweight have no option but to lose weight. People that have to go to work otherwise there is no food on the table. They have no option to be lazy. If you have the option to be lazy, you are privileged.

🍥THE HALO EFFECT

The halo effect is when we see a beautiful person , we will think that they are less likely to do something bad because we associate someone beautiful with being a good person. Its the same way with successful person. If we see a successful person in any field , we will assume that they are successful in all their aspects of life. Suppose if a person have a successful business , we will automatically think that they are successful in their relationships and everywhere. If you are lazy , you can't benefit from the halo effect . It takes effort to be beautiful and to maintain beauty. We only see these successes , we don't see the progress. Most people are privileged and have it all but most people come from 0 and create it for themselves. It takes discipline.

🧁FOCUS ON YOUR LIFE FORCE : HEALTH , DIET AND RELATIONSHIPS

When you feel that you are lazy , focus on your life force . What is your life force ? Health and diet. Focus on moving your body and eat foods that don't spike your insulin and eat food that nourish your body. When you feel lazy or don't feel good , don't isolate yourself. Connect with your family and friends. Also focus on your relationship with yourself. What are you engaging your mind in ? Be connected to your own energy. Journal. Sometimes God or your guides are speaking to you but because your mind is constantly racing , you can't listen to them.

🍥CREATE ROUTINES AND STICK TO THEM

Humans need routines. You need a structurised routine. Sometimes we can't stick to routines but we need a base so we have something to go back to. I would like to add something here , I am reading a book by Brianna Wiest , it's called 101 essays that will change the way you think. There was line in the book . " As children, routine gives us a feeling of safety. As adults , it gives us a feeling of purpose ."

🧁CLEAN SPACE IS SELF RESPECT

Clean space is a clean mind. Not even cleaning after yourself is a sign of huge disrespect to yourself. Stop reading this and clean your room right now !!!!!

🍥THERE IS REASON WHY YOU MADE THAT COMMITMENT TO YOURSELF

Remember the reason . Remind yourself, " Why did I even start ? " " Why did I even want this goal ?" . If you don't want the goal anymore then do something else.

🧁THINK ABOUT WHAT STORY ARE YOU TELLING YOURSELF

If you are telling yourself that you are a lazy person , you will act like one. Your mom didn't carry you for 9 months just for you to say that you are lazy. Get a hold of yourself. Don't complain about how you don't have your dream life if you are lazy.

🍥REALISE YOU CAN CHANGE YOUR REALITY ANY SECOND

You can change your realities really fast if you start acting like the person you want to become.

🧁HEAL THE PAST AND MOVE ON

Go to therapy and heal from the past. You can change your story around . If you are a victim of trauma or abuse , don't just go around and tell people because they lose respect for you .

🍥YOUR BODY RESPONDS TO YOUR THOUGHTS AND FEELINGS

If you are constantly living in the past , reliving it , your body will make you ill. If you want a different outcome and different future, you have to do things differently. People around you don't need to change, you have the power to control that. You have the responsibility to heal yourself. What others did to you , it is on them . They will get their karma.

🧁ARE YOU LAZY OR DID YOU STOP PROGRESSING ?

People become happy when they start progressing. We constantly need that drive or something to strive for. Create a new project . Find a new hobby. Learn a new skill. Do something that you haven't tried before or pick something you used to love.

🍥TOO MUCH INFORMATION MAKES US LAZY

There is so much information on the internet to the point we don't know what to do. There are so many videos on the best diet , skincare or workout , we get consumed in other people's opinions and lives. We start filling their lives with our energy. ( Just a suggestion; you can search workout or skincare recommendations but at the end you should choose a diet or skincare or workout which suits you , not others )

🧁ARE YOU TOO CONSUMED IN OTHER PEOPLE'S LIVES ?

If you wonder to yourself : Why do I not have any energy left for myself ? Because you are too consumed in other people's lives so you aren't living your own.

🍥FEELINGS ARE NOT ALWAYS RIGHT

Feelings are just feelings. If we all just react to go out of emotions we would all unalive each other.

🧁ALLOW YOUR FEELINGS TO PURGE AND YOUR BODY TO HEAL.

Feelings purge by you feeling them. Release your emotions , don't suppress them . If you suppress those Feelings, they will get stored in your body and might show up later as physical illness. Sleeping is also healing. Let your body heal. Once that's done , get up and do something . Don't dwell there for too long.

🍥WHAT DO YOU FEEL VS WHAT DO YOU WANT ?

If you feel like eating unhealthy food but then you want your dream body. It doesn't correlate. You need to have discipline.

🧁COURAGE IS BEING VULNERABLE

Go outside and try to meet new people. Do something which you wouldn't normally do .

🍥LEARN TO ASK FOR HELP.

Learn to accept help. Sometimes God send people to help you. Ask help from God and you will receive help in miraculous ways.

🧁BE PRODUCTIVE ON YOUR OWN TERMS.

What does productivity look like for you ? What are your goals? Create that productivity mindset and visions. What works for others may not work for you.

🍥ARE THE PEOPLE AROUND YOU DRAINING YOUR ENERGY ?

If you have toxic people around you , you are constantly around them , you are going to feel bad. Distance yourself. No one can make you feel upset, you have the control over how you feel.

🧁CHANGE YOUR PERSPECTIVE ON SITUATIONS.

Most people are projecting their insecurities. Instead of feeling angry, have compassion for them. Similiarily , if you are going through a break up instead of thinking that they were the last person on earth. Think that your souls were meant to cross and then meant to separate. You learnt your lesson and they learn their lesson.Change your perspective on things .

🍥FOCUS ON THE THINGS YOU CAN DO

Think about three things you can do . What is your passion ? What makes you happy ? Who makes you happy ? Be grateful for these things. Realise that you can do alot and remind yourself of what you can actually do.

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fadedin2u · 5 months

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big flirt!

MDNI 18+

summary: your friends force you to go out to a gay bar with them, and ellie buys you a drink.

content/tw: alcohol mention, subtop!ellie, slightly dom/switch!reader, reader and ellie are both drunk, face sitting(r!receiving), tribbing, strap-on(r!recieving), reader is called “girl” once or twice, afab!reader, reader is neither masc nor fem, college!ellie and reader, astrophysics major!ellie

notes: i left the ending written in away that i might add another part to this fic! lmk if u want that lol

┆ ° ♡ • ➵ ✩ ◛ °

“hey, 6 o’clock, there’s a certified hottie staring at you-“ one of your well-meaning friends tells you, motioning (not very) discreetly behind you.

you turn around and your jaw nearly drops. the girl staring at you is stunning, with her dark auburn hair and flannel worn over a wife-beater, sitting at the bar and sipping her drink. you make eye contact with her momentarily, and turn back to your friend, mary, with wide eyes.

mary laughs, “are you gonna go for it?”

your friends had forced you to go out to this gay bar with the intention of meeting new people after a break up that left you a complete wreck. it’d been about 3 months since your ex broke the news that they weren’t in love with you anymore, and it made any kind of romantic prospects leave a bitter taste in your mouth till this day. not to mention, you’re wayyy too drunk at this point to be on your A-game with flirting. you make a face and mary groans.

“come on, dude! she’s gorgeous, clearly interested, what else could you ask for?”

you make another face, “just because she’s staring doesn’t mean that she’s necessarily interested-“

“how about if she’s walking over to you right now? does that make her interested?”

you hear someone clear their throat behind you, and you give mary a murderous look before turning to the stranger with a smile.

she gives you a slightly awkward smile in return, “hey. i, um, i’m sorry if this is forward, but could i buy you a drink?”

your stomach is absolutely in knots, but you nod. “yeah, i’d love that.”

the stranger gives you a relieved smile in return, extending her hand to you, “i’m ellie. what’s your drink?”

you give her your name, “-and just a rum and coke, thank you so much.”

ellie’s clearly pretty drunk as well, which makes you feel a little better. she leads you back over to the spot at the bar she was sitting at, giving you her hand to help as you hop onto the excessively tall bar seats. she gives the bar tender your drink order and orders another whiskey on the rocks for herself.

“so, do you come to this bar a lot?” you ask, and inwardly cringe at yourself. ‘i basically just asked “so, you come here often?” great.’

ellie makes a so-so motion with her hand, “sometimes, not very often though. i study astrophysics so i don’t usually have the free time to deal with a hangover.”

your eyebrows raise and your drunk brain speaks before you think, “wow, smart girl.”

ellie’s cheeks flush a little, and she looks down, “i don’t know about that, but i’m really passionate about it, which is more than half the battle, i think.”

you scoff, “please, you’re literally studying rocket science. you can’t convince me that you’re not smart now.”

ellie laughs a little, “okay, then i’ll just shut up and take the compliment. thank you.”

the bar tender gives you two your drinks and ellie takes a sip of her own, “so, what do you do?”

you take a sip of your own drink, “i’m a student right now too, i’m actually studying-“

suddenly, you hear a familiar beat in the background, and you stop talking, a (likely goofy) smile growing on your face, “oh my god, i fucking love this song. nicki minaj literally cannot miss.”

ellie laughs brightly at that, raising an eyebrow, “i absolutely fucking agree. do you wanna dance?”

“really?”

ellie nods, taking a large gulp of her whiskey, “for sure. i couldn’t live with myself knowing i cheated a pretty girl like you out of a dance break.”

you giggle and nod, chugging the rest of your drink faster than you probably should. ellie takes your hand and leads you out the the dance floor where there’s a large crowd of people dancing together. you pull ellie against you, your actions emboldened by the alcohol in your system. ellie immediately goes to hold on your hips, your bodies moving against each other.

you don’t really think to much about how you’re dancing, just letting your body move how it wants to. before you even realize what you’re doing, you’ve turned around in ellie’s hold, grinding your ass back against her hips. when you realize what’s happening, you nearly stop, but when you feel the tight grip of ellie’s hands on your hips and the way she’s grinding back into you, you relax. you stand back up straight, and wrap your arm up and behind you, holding onto the back of ellie’s head, which is now tucked against your neck. when you feel her lips against your jugular, you inhale sharply, pressing more into her.

you feel her kisses trail down to your shoulder, and you thank your good luck for deciding to wear a tank top. you feel her pelvis digging into your ass, and you can’t be sure because the music is so loud, but you swear you hear her moan.

you turn back around in her arms, and before either of you realize what’s happening, you’re locked into a heated kiss. your arms wrap around her neck, and one of her hands sneaks down from your hips to squeeze your ass. you moan into her mouth, and she takes the opportunity for her tongue to explore your mouth. when you separate, you’re both panting.

“wanna get an uber back to mine?” she asks loudly over the blasting music, and you nod right away.

——

the uber driver for the ride back will likely leave ellie with a low rating, thanks to the two of you not being able to detach your mouths from each other for longer than 5 seconds, but you two eventually make it back to ellie’s apartment.

once you’re in her bathroom, you push her back onto her bed between kisses and straddle her. she kisses your neck and chest, pushing your tank top up. you take it off for her and you’re left in your bra. ellie grins and starts kissing the exposed parts of your breasts.

“god, you’re so fucking pretty-“ ellie says as she takes off your bra, immediately latching onto one of your nipples. you moan softly and hold onto her head, your fingers threading through her hair.

you feel her warm tongue smooth over the hardened bud before switching to the other to give it the same attention. as she does, her hands come up to squeeze your tits. she’s still sucking and nipping gently as she looks up at you, her doe eyes stirring the heat in your belly. when she unlatches; her lips are a little swollen and wet with saliva.

“what am i allowed to do? what do you need?” ellie asks, smoothing her hands down your waist and hips.

you shiver slightly, “anything.”

ellie starts kissing your neck again, sucking a hickey into the crook of your neck, “you’re gonna need to be more detailed then that, doll.”

you bite your lip, your tipsy brain racing, “i need you to fuck me.”

ellie pulls back, a wide grin growing on her face, and she kisses your collarbone. “jesus christ, i’d fucking love too… can you sit on my face first?”

your exhale sharply and nod. ellie lies back on the bed and you slide off ellie, kicking off your jeans, leaving your underwear on, before crawling back up ellie’s body.

ellie grips your thighs as you position yourself over her face. “fuck, you smell good… you this wet for me, babe?”

you nod again, your cheeks hot.

her smile is a little cocky as she looks up at your face, and licks over the wet fabric of your underwear. your legs jolt a little and you let out a shaky breath.

ellie shoves her face further between your legs, and you swear you hear her whimper. she pulls your underwear to the side, and licks a broad stripe up your cunt.

you moan, your eyes falling shut as you hold onto her headboard.

she pulls back, “i said sit on my face, babe, not hover-“

ellie’s hands pull on your thighs so you rest your weight on her face fully. ellie becomes borderline ravenous, her tongue lapping at your pussy, slurping you up as her fingers dig into the fat of your ass and thighs.

you bite on your fist to muffle your loud moans, but ellie will have none of that, her arm reaching up to pull yours away from your face.

after a moment, ellie sticks her tongue fully out, letting you rub your clit against it as you please. your breaths become more and more unsteady.

ellie’s hands on your ass help guide your hips, and when she moves to suck on your clit, the suction makes your orgasm hit you like a freight train, bucking your hips against ellie’s face.

when you’ve come down, ellie helps you off of your face, and rummages through her drawer to grab her strap.

you stop her, your hand against her chest, “i wanna feel you against me first.”

ellie doesn’t need to hear anymore, and quickly starts taking off her clothes as you take off your underwear. she moves so she’s on top of you, hiking one of your legs over her shoulder. the moment her wet cunt grinds into yours, you both moan, your eyes rolling back into your head.

“you feel so fucking perfect, so fuckin good for me-“ she rambles

ellie starts thrusting her hips against yours, and you watch her small, perky tits bounce with each movement. your hand trails up to squeeze one of them and she whimpers softly. when you pinch her nipple between your fingers, she moans gutturally and moves against you faster. you’re not at all in control of how loud you’re moaning at this point.

“look at you, sweet girl, so fucking gorgeous-“

it isn’t long before your oversensitive clit is being brought closer to another orgasm. you make obscene noises as you cum again, ellie’s eyes trained on your face the whole time.

“there you go- let me cum all over that pretty- ah, fucking- mmmh, pussy-“ ellie grunts before cumming a few moments after you.

you both take about 5 seconds to recover before she’s scrambling to grab the strap. once ellie has it on, you lick your lips, staring at it.

“can i ride it?”

ellie’s eyes go big, and she basically throws herself onto the bed, lying back and patting her thigh.

you giggle and climb on top of her, kissing her lips again. she kisses you back eagerly, grabbing your hips and thrusting her hips up, but you pull back.

“nope. hands off and stay still.” you order, and her already very dilated eyes look like pools of black at this point. she nods, biting her lip.

you take the strap and run the tip of it through your folds. ellie whines as she watches this, her hips bucking a little with her fists clenching the sheets below her.

“hey, what did i just say?” you ask, a mischievous smile on your face.

she takes a shaky breath, “sorry.”

you laugh a little, “so needy, ellie.”

you make eye contact with her as your hand travels down your own body, taking the time to squeeze and play with your own breasts. meanwhile, ellie looks like she’s practically salivating.

your hand travels down your stomach to your cunt, rubbing your own clit for a second as ellie watches, her mouth agape.

your fingers spread your folds and dip inside you for a moment, curling up and making you moan.

ellie is desperate at this point, “please, jesus fucking christ, i need you so bad, you don’t under-“

you withdraw your fingers, giving ellie a look. “hmmm… sounds like you need something to keep that mouth of yours busy, huh?”

you bring your slick-covered fingers up to her mouth. “open.”

ellie immediately opens her mouth and starts sucking off your fingers, whimpers muffled.

you giggle, “awww, you’re too fucking cute… now keep sucking on those, yeah?”

without warning, you sink down onto ellie’s strap and start bouncing. ellie whines, her eyes fixated on your tits as they bounce with you, still eagerly sucking on your fingers. ellie’s eyes fall shut for a moment as the base of the harness gives her clit the friction she’s craving.

you keep bouncing on her strap, watching the fucked out glaze in ellie’s eyes, half-lidded and fully dilated.

“awww… you just needed to get fucked, that’s all… look how pretty you are…” you tease and ellie starts whimpering like she’s gonna come from your words alone.

after a few minutes, you start to tire and you take out the fingers in her mouth, slowing down, “now, fuck me like you mean it, ellie.”

those words are all the permission ellie need before flipping you over and drilling her hips into yours.

“-pussy’s so fuckin- fuck, so fuckin’ tight for me, babe-“ ellie whimpers, tucking her face into your neck.

you would find it more amusing that ellie is acting like this strap is physically attached to her if she wasn’t making you feel so fucking good. you cling onto her as she fucks you, slamming into you just right, over and over.

“i need to cum, please let me cum- i can’t fucking-“ ellie rambles, and you cut her off

“i’m close too, baby, it’s okay-“ you pant, your eyes clenching shut as she fucks you into your third orgasm.

ellie’s hips bottom out and she grinds herself deep into you as she cums against the base of the harness, her moans needy and breathy.

when you both start coming down, she pulls out and tosses the strap away wordlessly, going back to cuddle against you.

you’re completely exhausted (and both of you still slightly drunk) as you let her spoon you, barely saying anything before slipping into a deep sleep.

———

“so you just… left? without even saying goodbye?” mary asks over the phone as you walk into the music building on your college campus, lugging your beat up guitar with you.

“what was i supposed to do? make her breakfast and thank her for the 3 orgasms?” you ask, holding the door open for a girl running in behind you.

the girl gives you a look and your face gets hot, realizing she overheard what you said.

“i mean… maybe? she was super hot,” mary responds, slightly agitated

you groan, “yeah, she was hot, but i barely learned anything about her and we were both drunk. not necessarily promising grounds for a budding relationship.”

you walk up the steps to the room you’re headed to, checking your phone again for the right room number.

“yeah, but still. she seemed like she would be cool,” mary justifies and you sigh.

“well, if i ever see her again while we’re not drunk and horny, maybe i’ll ask her out. but right now, that’s really not a priority.” you say, finding the right practice room.

mary starts to talk again but you interrupt her, “i’m sorry, mary, but i have to go.”

“wait, why? i know you don’t have class right now.”

“i’m taking those private guitar lessons to satisfy that extracurricular credit, remember? it’s my first lesson, so i really don’t wanna be late,“ you say, and mary sighs.

“okay, whatever. have fun, and i’ll talk to you after?”

you agree and end the phone call, looking to check the room number again before you walk in.

your forced, ‘make a good impression’ smile is immediately wiped off your face when you see the familiar auburnette playing the guitar in front of you.

she looks up at you and her cheeks go red almost instantaneously.

you say, “sorry, i must be in the wrong room- i have a lesson-“

ellie’s eyebrows raise and she lets out a slow sigh, “you, uh, you have a lesson?”

you nod, gripping your guitar case.

ellie laughs a little, like this is some sort of prank that was pulled on her:

“then you’re in the right room, because i’m pretty sure i’m supposed to teach you guitar this semester.”

you sharply exhale the breath you were holding in as the realization of what’s going on sets in, “but… you’re an astrophysics major?”

ellie chuckles again, “and a music minor, babe.”

you restrain the groan that you desperately want to make, your stomach sinking.

ellie pats the empty seat next to her, “well… let’s get started then. you know any bar chords yet?”

#rose writes #ellie williams #ellie williams x reader #tlou2 #tlou #ellie williams fanfic #ellie x reader #ellie x y/n #ellie williams smut #ellie tlou #ellie x fem reader #ellie x masc reader

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am-i-the-asshole-official · 7 months

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AITA for not having time to read my mutual's writing?

Met a mutual on here, bonded through fanfic, have been tight with them for a few years with pretty much no bumps in the relationship, just overall had a really good time hanging around them when I could. We both write a lot and share our writing, and occasionally we talk about that writing/workshop it in passing.

In the past few years I've gone through a ton of life changes. Most notably I went from a multi-person household to a single-person one, and I've been living alone in a prohibitively costly city for a while now working 40 hour weeks and barely scraping by. As soon as the transition started I spent the last of my free income on a shitty little laptop so I could still write, putting down words on my bus/train commutes in the morning and quite literally writing on my breaks at work because I feel insane when I can't create. I bring this up to really stress that I don't have the time for the hobby, I force myself to make the time and even then it never feels like enough.

The only thing I can really stand to do with my 3 hours of free time at night is hang out with my moots online. I'm an extrovert so being around people recharges me. If I don't have designated social time I get super depressed and can pretty much feel my soul withering away. I also feel like I should probably mention that I kinda have a slew of mental issues, personality disorders and PTSD and AuDHD and the works. Point being, shit is rough my dude, but I am a person who likes to work hard and face challenges head on and even though we strugglin, we doing it with a positive outlook.

But! I am an incredibly solution-oriented person and I have found what I personally believe to be a good balance. No one should have to live like this, but I do, and I have found a way to be happy. My writing and my social time is all load-bearing. It is not something I just choose to do on a whim, it's all planned and scheduled and I adhere to those routines very strictly because, I cannot stress this enough, I will go fucking bonkers if I don't.

I'm mutuals with a lot of writers obv, and I sadly don't have time to read their work anymore, unless I get some extra time on my days off or something gets cancelled or like, I end up taking a vacation. I carry a great amount of guilt for this, though, even though I logically know it's reasonable. I try to support them where I can, cheer them on when I see them writing and tell them how cool their ideas sound, hype them up even when I can't actually read & review.

One of the things I do is sometimes I leave a kudos on fic I haven't read. I'm not trying to be ingenuine, and if they asked me I'd tell them like 'Oh I didn't read it yet, just wanted to show support!' but to me it's kinda like ripping a paper tab off a poster so that other's feel inclined to do the same. Plus my pals get a little email and a hit of serotonin.

Except one of my acquaintances, the one I mentioned at the start here, saw that I left kudos on a couple pieces another mutual of mine wrote this year. They more or less blew up my DMs with a ton of accusatory (like, literally presented like a 'GOTCHA!') stuff about how I was selective in who's fic I read, more or less implying that I secretly held some sort of grudge or negative feeling toward them and was making the conscious decision not to read or interact with their writing because of. Something, I don't actually know what they were trying to say. They also told me they vented to their friends about this MULTIPLE times, but they never once approached me to let me know they were feeling paranoid or neglected, they literally just took the most bad faith reading of it possible and then presented that to me like it was something I intentionally did, while the whole time I was unaware.

I tried to explain to them the kudos thing, that I didn't do it to every story, just ones I caught/noticed in my busy schedule. And I laid all this out and asked, multiple times, what free time am I supposed to read with? They didn't answer, and doubled down, kept trying to show me 'proof' that I was shorting them and no one else. Once they started to realize how wrong they were they backed down, but they didn't really apologize, or admit they were wrong, and they tried to end our relationship and left every single server we were in together. Because of some other unrelated stuff going on in my life, I didn't really consider them to be a close friend, but they were someone I really held dear and would've walked through hell for if they'd asked.

I still feel like there is something I'm missing here, and that's why I wanted to ask if I'm TA. I'm a pretty good communicator but one of the things I told myself when talking down my disordered thoughts (guilt about this prior) was "no one in their right mind would use reading fanfic as a metric for friendship." Now that I've had that exact thing happen, I'm starting to think maybe those thoughts weren't so disordered. Maybe this IS a big deal, and I should think about it more, but I don't even know what the solution to that would be. I just. Don't have time to read something lovingly crafted and appreciate it for what it is. All the hours in my week are used up, I'd have to lose sleep for this and with my mental health the way it is that is not an option.

Feel free to be a brutal, my skin is thick. Thanks!

What are these acronyms?

#aita #am i the asshole

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rafesslxt · 24 days

Text

✧.* 𝑴𝑨𝑻𝑻𝑯𝑬𝑶 𝑹𝑰𝑫𝑫𝑳𝑬 𝑵𝑺𝑭𝑾 𝑯𝑬𝑨𝑫𝑪𝑨𝑵𝑶𝑵

[ aftercare ] ― he would cuddle you right after and clean you up depending on the mess you two made. I can also imagine him smoking a cigarette next to you If you‘re okay with that and If not he would cuddle you for a while and then stand up to smoke at the window – then coming back for cuddles ofc

[ body part ] ― he is a ass type of man to me. Always has a hand near your booty but also your face ? Like his hands would always stroke your cheeks and he would leave kisses all over it - oh and ofc he LOVES your pussy

[ cum ] ― he‘d go NUTS seeing you covered in it, marking you as his

[ desires ] ― He would go crazy for any kind of sort of begging from you - hearing your whiny voice begging him to do the filthy things to you he loves so much. Teasing him would also he a big turn on for him. Bending over things, accidently brushing your hand over his thigh near his dick

[ experience ] ― HONESTLY i know most of us like to think he‘s experienced and knows what he‘s doing bc he had mich sex before BUT I think a lot of girls would be terrified of him being the dark lord‘s son. So yes he is a natural and knows just what feels good, studying your reactions to his touch all night long but he would not have that much experience

[ first time ] ― Like i said he wouldn‘t sleep around that much so maybe it‘s with his first girlfriend or situationship he has with a girl he likes

[ grooming ] ― he wouldn‘t be very picky about how you groom as long as it‘s not completely out of control - he himself would make sure it‘s always clean and trimmed ? Idk man i never thought of that

[ horny ] Mattheo is a horndog 100%. And she wouldn’t even have to try since he would get a boner from almost everything she does. I think physical touch would be important to him since he never got much of it and also wants to try so much with you so he can win more experience to please you even better.

[ intimacy ] — Depends on what you like - he‘s a pleaser in my head so If you would want soft he would prepper you in kisses and praising words "you‘re doing so good baby i love you so much." but If you‘d like it rough he would dirty talk to you until your eyes roll back and manhandle you "fuck baby you feel my cock inside your belly? M' gonna fuck every other thought out of your head."

[ joker ] ― he could laugh when slmething clumsy happens but otherwise he‘d be more on the serious/passionate side

[ kinks ] ― Mattheo loves seeing u begging as i said but also is into you calling him daddy or sir, anything that makes him feel powerful. A kink he didn‘t know he had was his being sub. It didn‘t happen that often but he‘d enjoy it so much after like a rough week - you taking care of him and not judging but loving his little whimpers - also a little orgasm denial on you

[ locations ] ― literally anywhere - he would not give a single fuck If someone saw you two fucking as long as he can shield or hide your naked body - but If it would he a quiecky with him just sliding under your skirt he would love the drill of being caught and claiming you as his for other‘s

[ masturbation ] ― he‘s a horndog + single? Then he‘d masturbate quiete a lot but when he finally got you, he didn‘t need to anymore

[ no go ] ― anything that has to do with other people - he‘d be way too possessive and jealous for including someone else into your sexlife

[ oral ] ― MUNCH MUNCH MUNCH you cannot tell me otherwise! He would get drunk on your pussy, eating it out for hours sometimes. But he also enjoys getting sucked off by you too

[ positions ] ― he loves seeing your face twist in pleasure and your little gasps for air when he fucks into you. so anything like fucking you from behind but in front of a mirror or you riding him and trying your best bouncing up and down on him would do it for him - but I also think when the two if you argue and fuck he would push your face into a pillow while grabbing your hips from behind so you would shut up

[ quickies ] ― he‘d love them cause that means he get‘s extra sex in between classes, before quidditch training or studying

[ rounds ] ― i think his stanima is good like 2-3 long rounds before he would have to take his first break. Either he would smoke a cigarette or eat you out in the meantime

[ secrets ] ― he doesn‘t have real secrets since he‘s really comfortable with you

[ toys ] ― he would be confused when he first caught you with one - poor voy thinking you don‘t enjoy his cock but after you explain it to him he would use it here and there on you vut mostly just when he try‘s teasing and edging you

[ underwear ] ― he LOVES when you wear red for him, not caring what kind of underwear as long as it‘s red. He‘d also almost come directly in his pants when he notice you don‘t wear any under your skirt but would punish you still

[ volume ] ― Mattheo loves your loud moans and screams of his name, he would praise you so much for it and just gets drunk on your little whimpers for him - mattheo would also be quiete vocal always dirty talking to you or groaning at how tight you feel around him

[ watch ] ― he would never let anyone watch you - not even over his dead body but like i said before when you have clothes on and he slips under your skirt he‘d enjoy someone catching you two

[ xxx ] ― would only watch when he‘s single but even then not that often

[ yearning ] ― he would be the biggest tease ever! Stroking your inner thigh under the table in class or at dinner. He‘d tease you by whispering all the things he wants to do to you in your ear while all your friends are around, slowly brushing his hands over your clothes pussy when nobody‘s looking

[ zzz ] ― usually depends on his day. If he had quidditch training or was awake all night then he‘d be tired after it but otherwise he‘d kind of get his energy from fucking you

you do not have to agree on that – remeber he‘s fictional and that‘s MY opinion 🫶🏻

here‘s my masterlist If you wanna read more <3

taglist: @justarandomcanadiantransdude @sofa-couch26 @helendeath @thatonepansexual2000 @imabee-oralizard @supernaturaldawning @little-miss-naill @kolsangel @itsarajr @jolly4holly @hisparentsgallerryy @slytherinscreamqueen @mixvchelle @littlemadamred @ummmmmmm-username @jeannie-beannie @belle-blue @izriddle @kr-1-sta @sagetakami

xoxo sarah <3

#sub mattheo riddle #mattheo riddle masterlist #mattheo riddle blurb #mattheo riddle x you #mattheo riddle headcanon #mattheo riddle fluff #mattheo riddle imagine #mattheo riddle x reader #mattheo riddle #mattheo riddle smut #slytherin boys fluff #slytherin boys smut #slytherin boys x reader #slytherin boys imagine #slytherin boys headcanons

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norman-fucking-reedus · 2 months

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Oh nothing just thinking about how extremely sexually frustated and pent up season 2 Daryl gets and how he gets to release all that by taking you into his tent and fucking himself totally stupid

He’s just so angry and frustrated with himself, with the world. He doesn’t wanna think. He wants to forget. You’re so soft, so warm, he’s addicted to your body, the way it makes his body feel, the way he makes yours feel, it does something unreal to him.

Daryl’s rough but because he needs you so bad, he’s rough because he simply cannot get enough, and his greedy hands try to grab onto to more. Fuck, your body turns him on so much to the point he wanted to get completely nude himself, pressing your skin against his. Your hands never touched his scars, it made him feel safe.

It was like therapy for him, shyly dragging you away from the group into his little tent for a hot and needy make out session, tearing off your clothes like teenagers who had just discovered how magical sex could feel. He’d be so obviously hungry in the way he sloppily kissed you, his hands pinning you down onto the makeshift mattress so he can drag his wet lips across your jaw, licking the underside and sucking his way down your throat. He gropes your fatty hips, squeezes your thick thighs and runs his hands up the sides of your smooth waist, fondling your soft tits before shamelessly popping one into his mouth.

Daryl didn’t know the first thing when it came down to pleasing a woman, Merle always telling him how he just “fucks ‘em ‘nd goes” and “doesn’t bother with all tha’ extras” but Daryl didn’t understand what that meant. To him, sex was sex. You needed two people to have sex, that was two bodies you needed to please.

Daryl’s thrusts were messy and sometimes he needed you to talk him through it, tell him how good he was truly making you feel and how he could do even better. It was all that he needed, your voice filling his ears and completely drowning out any others. You filled all five of his senses, touch being the most overwhelming one. He needed to fuck until he just couldn’t anymore, whimpering into your chest as his hips stutter, cock twitching as he cums. But Daryl doesn’t pull out, no, he keeps going, fucking himself through his orgasm till his cock is sensitive and aching.

By the end, you’re both a complete mess, Daryl’s release oozing out of you and sticky where it had started to smear against your inner thigh, wetly smacking against his hip. Daryl simply wants to press himself against you after sex, peppering soft but firm kisses onto your sweaty face. He practically kissed you with both his nose and lips, bumping his face into yours. It made you smile, because it was like his own unique way of telling you ‘I love you’ without actually saying it, and he didn’t need to, never needed to. His body spoke loud enough for him.

｡･:*:･ﾟ★｡･:*:･ﾟ☆ ｡･:*:･ﾟ★

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onyourhyuck · 11 months

Text

Race Lover. | L.DH

— Prologue: 〞 You know damn well what I want, and you’re about to give it to me. Whether you like it or not.〃

— Summary: On the day you and your boyfriend Donghyuck had an argument. When Donghyuck won his race he wants his reward from you, and he’s not taking a no for an answer.

— Genre: Smut Smut Smut. Established relationship. Argument but angry sex to make up for it. Donghyuck’s kinda a provoking dick but it’s cool. Unprotected sex. Overstimulation and edging. Kinda like a punishment. Donghyuck loves to tease Y/n. They do it inside a car. Car Sex.

— Notes: Wanna Ride? — The Series

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The crowds were cheering for your boyfriend who has the people in the crowd wrapped around his finger like a small ribbon tied into a bow. Your eyes were stuck on the race and when it has came to an end Donghyuck was announced as the winner. You saw your boyfriend come out of the car and pull off the helmet letting the free black hair fall and shake off any remaining sweat. You hate to be the party police but you cannot help but feel your annoyance shriek through your bones because your boyfriend can really be very much plaguy. Today was a very important day for him and you. He had this great opportunity to race and win a lot — a lot of money. The race was also very difficult so Donghyuck has been training for a month for this and it looks like it paid off. He managed to win the race and beat some competitors that are very good too. However today on the way to the venue your boyfriend and you argued over the most ridiculous things.

The argument was ridiculous because Donghyuck made it feel like that. It’s like he nearly invalidates your own opinion. You aren’t usually the one to be petty but you can’t help but be petty right now. You only told him he should’ve taken out the trash today before they left and that he shouldn’t be so dismissive of everything just because he’s solely focusing on the race. You see Donghyuck’s always participated in this races between cars and motorcycles. He is a biker afterall. You met him on a motorcycle and you fell in love with how intimidating he was on the outside but on the inside he had another side he doesn’t really show anyone; a side with sentiment.

You told him to pay more attention to his surroundings. Donghyuck took that quite personally because he can’t be seen wasting time on other things like the ones you want him too because he’s trying to get into the focused zone so he can win. He knows how much of a distraction you can be so Donghyuck would rather not have you do this to him. But you did do it to him. You fought in the car and when you arrived in the venue he saw you take a giant huff and walked off to the crowds to join your friends who are cheering for him too. Donghyuck can only laugh at your reaction a little. Laughing in disbelief and slight annoyance too, but mostly entertainment knowing you’re pissed over something he was honest about.

It doesn’t matter to him anymore however. Donghyuck won the race and he expects you to be happy and take back your words from earlier. He expects you to be completely an overflowing mountain of joy when he comes towards you putting the helmet away to the side as he approaches the crowds and saw you standing up so you can walk towards him.

Why wasn’t he seeing a joyful face on you? Donghyuck only saw a grump expression which just makes him feel even more able to laugh at you. You can really be something, something stubborn sometimes.

Your figure fits perfectly on the dress you’re wearing today he can’t help but admire and check you out as freely as he wants. He wanted to tell you the dress looks good on you in the car earlier when you’re arriving to the venue you. But things clearly took another turn with the argument so that didn’t give him the time to compliment you. You let a little small and monotone voice. “Congrats, Donghyuck.”

‘Oh you’re so sulking on me.’ He can’t help but think this to himself with a low laugh.

Donghyuck was left standing in front of you as you congratulate him but shouldn’t the girlfriend be a little more hyperactive balling with excitement? What happened to a kiss on the lips as a congratulation? Donghyuck was expecting you to leap into his arms and kiss him like no tomorrow and then tell him ‘I knew you would be able to win!’ And so on and on. But no his girlfriend decided to give him a small ‘Congratulations, Donghyuck’ with his name which you never really use unless you’re very much upset with him.

Nonetheless your boyfriend will refuse to back away now and so he decides to brush off your own angry behaviour towards him like as if it never occurred or happened. Nothing at all. “Hey baby,” Donghyuck said with a little smile that was a motion between teasing you for your words or the fact that you decided to continue this argument makes him want to explode. He comes forward wrapping his arms around your waist pulling you closer to a kiss in which your face turns around halfway like a half ajar door and reject his kiss on the lips.

Donghyuck didn’t want to make it seem like he was rejected in public so he kissed your cheek instead. You must really be mad at him if you dodged him completely. You never really do this to him ever. Donghyuck tightens his arms around your waist and looks over at your face expression.

Your face expression still has this look about it that makes it seem like you’re held at a gun point being here at this event. Even though you were the most excited person to be here. That was until the argument happened and took over your entire mind so you couldn’t focus on anything else.

Donghyuck let’s out a little laugh that you only can hear and he fixates the darken orbs down at your face telling you to look at him and start behaving back to your usual self because he won’t stand for whatever you’re doing. “Why are you so grumpy? I just won, the whole point of these races.” He rolls his eyes a little because he cannot believe he’s dealing with a girlfriend that’s mad at him and not even happy like everyone else is right now. Even he was happy and now he’s frustrated with you. “I just won and all I get is a grumpy face, Y/n?” He said again bringing his round dark eyes to stare into your glistening eyes.

You don’t want to tell him why you’re mad because that’s like telling him everything he’s done wrong and you’d rather have him figure it out so you just avoid his eyes from eating you alive. "You know why i'm upset at you right now."

Oh yeah he does but Donghyuck won't admit that he knows when he can hear it from your pretty red mouth instead.

Donghyuck then got another idea and he decides it’s time for the real thing he was so excited and impatient for all day.

“How about you give me my reward now and i’ll tell you why you’re upset.” Donghyuck now seethes approaching you with one of his hands around your waist again. You feel his hot breath staring down at your lips with eagerness. You haven’t kissed him once in the past twenty minutes and he feels deprived. You’re like a drug to him. He can’t go without your lips at all.

You stare at him with furrowing eyes as your eyebrows rose up too scrunching your top ends together. What reward? You don’t quite understand what he wants from you. And then your mind clicks on what exactly he wants when you saw the way he’s staring down at your lips and the way his hands are around your waist like he doesn’t plan on taking them off anytime soon. Donghyuck wont be letting you go without this damn ‘reward’ he wants it seems. Donghyuck wants to move on and forget why you’re upset already because he knows you’re just carrying unnecessary drama on you and instead he thinks this reward is much more important right now. The reward was much more valuable than the large amount of money he won as the prize for winning the race. Donghyuck thinks you’re above it all.

Donghyuck’s voice comes out as breathy as the sand flowing in the desert air and as equally hot as the blazing desert sun. Donghyuck can feel your lips quiver as his face was now super close to yours barely leaving much space between you both. But then again what is space when Donghyuck is involved? It doesn’t exist. He never quite understood personal space when your boyfriend is around you. He never will. Donghyuck wants you around all the time and you don’t mind this usually — if you weren’t pissed off that is. “Come on Y/n, I was working hard all month to win this race for you and now I’ve won. I won this race just for you…”

You let your monotone voice falter downwards into a lower octave as you feel Donghyuck sweet talking you into giving him what he wants from you however you’re not going to fall so easy. “I can tell.” You seethe a little with annoyance between your teeth. Your voice was so flat and without emotion he wasn’t getting excited by it at all and so his eyelids lower at your same stern expression you’ve kept on.

Donghyuck sighs as his hands loosen around your waist now and your handsome boyfriend pulls away with a low smirk. “Well the thing is…”

Your boyfriend now slowly starts to reconnect his hands around your waist again as he lets out a little breathy laugh forward. He has to admit when you’re rejecting him like this it’s denying him even more but the way he wants this reward it just keeps fuelling him to continue. Donghyuck loves it when you’re like this, upset at him and rejecting him.

He wonders how much longer can you reject him for?

When the hands reconnected like a puzzle when they made contact on your beautiful shaped waist pulling you closer to your boyfriend’s body. He wore the black leather jacket and underneath wasn’t anything but his bare golden skin. You can’t help but notice the gloves he wore around his hands were still on and they knead your waist between the folds as his arms were like silky wrapping keeping you together like you’re his birthday present. You wonder what’s going to happen if this continues. Your boyfriends hands now gave your waist a tight squeeze to see your reaction. He wasn’t left disappointed when he saw your stern expression start to form a singular crack on your face. Like a mirror when he read your skin because he saw you enjoying the action like a blossoming rose.

Donghyuck slowly as he moves a little closer by leaning towards your face whispering with his lips close to your. “I want my reward. And I’m sure you know what it is.” Speaking matter of factly you do know what he wants. You can read him like a newspaper. He’s not trying to hide it at all what he wants even though you’re surrounded by massive crowds in the distant and anyone could see and hear the both of you.

He shows a soft smile and his tone has slightly changed to more serious and firm now that he’s not messing about. Donghyuck’s patience is nonexistent at this point in forward so you have little to no choice. Donghyuck is demanding his reward, now.

“Reward? You won the trophy and money what else could you want?” Your eyebrows firmly squeeze together in distraught as he said he was demanding his reward?

“Well….” The dangerous voice leaks out.

Donghyuck gently tugs on the top of your dress shirt to bring you closer to him. He’s gonna get that reward from you and nobody else will be seeing it.

“I won and I want my reward from my lady. It’s the prize I really want right now.” Donghyuck gives a cocky smirk that he knows is making you mad but also curious to see what price he wants. It’s not just about the car race, but he wants something much more. He needs you in other words.

“Well, you can wait for that reward because I’m not going to give it to you right now.” Your voice now said the minute he’s pulling at your shirt to bring you closer to him even more to get the point across to you what he’s asking for. “Plus, we’re far from home. We can’t do anything.” You said smartly back acting like a know-it-all speaking like you have no place to even do this anywhere. But Donghyuck wasn’t planning to go home for this reward, his car would do fine, Donghyuck made up his mind on this without even needing to tell you.

〞 You know damn well what I want, and you’re about to give it to me. Whether you like it or not.〃you heard your boyfriend said to you with a threatening tone that he will do whatever he needs to if it means he’s going to have you on your knees or more.

Your face looses the original colour on your face now because of how demanding he is from you he’s never been this demanding you swore, this is the first time he’s ever been like this.

Donghyuck let’s out a little laugh at your shocked eyes he enjoys seeing them widen as day before he faced you again. “I don’t care where we are.” Donghyuck spoke firmly to his girlfriend as he pulled on your shirt a little harder. He’s very determined to get his reward right here and now.

As the both of you are speaking the people around them are noticing the tension between the two of you now. Some of Donghyuck’s friends who are also racers — Jaemin and Jeno were watching the both of you from far away between the crowds.

Donghyuck lowers his voice as he spoke and watched your eyes panic a little. “We can just stay in the car.. I know you want it as well. I saw you staring at me as I was taking off my helmet and as I won the race. We both know you want it.” He now said like this was a court matter. He didn’t give you any time to defend yourself on your case. Donghyuck was right however you were watching him with slight intent to just rip the clothes off. But that’s because he’s always looking so fine. You can’t help it, it’s like a natural reflex for you to be checking out your handsome boyfriend.

You feel yourself becoming more annoyed with him because he’s now even taking in the surroundings of where they are. Again. He’s doing it again he doesn’t care where he is and Donghyuck thinks he’s owning the world by acting this way it really much annoys you and when you were about to say something, something to tell him off and tell Donghyuck to act more normally appropriate since the both of you are in the spotlight between people, your body was pushed out of the view and dragged across to the parking lots away from everyone’s crowds. You tried to tell him to not do this because you don’t want to get caught. But Donghyuck? He has zero thoughts aside from taking a taste of you and your beautiful lips. You’re starting to begin to think your boyfriend thinks this is a race too.

He was lacking impatience. He’s rushing to get to you and this reward you’re about to give him. Donghyuck was definitely treating you like you’re a race to finish. In fact you’re his favourite thing in the world if you don’t count racing the competitions he does all his life nearly.

Donghyuck knew you’re about to disagree more with the idea knowing you’re upset and too upset to give him the reward. But did Donghyuck really care right now if you’re upset? He’s only thinking about the reward because he’s done something good for you and now he needs it otherwise, he’s going to be commanding you for it.

You scoff as the sight of your car you came together with was coming into view. The parking lot was filled with thousands of other cars on each ten floors. The race was quite a popular thing. Donghyuck was the main attraction. He’s used to seeing this many people come and watch him so they can cheer him on and on. You tug on the wrist that he’s pulling you by behind himself. “I’m upset at you.” Your tone mutters a little annoyed that he’s not going to wait for his reward, you find him to be impatient and impulsive and very much reckless right now for your liking.

You always thought your boyfriend will be reasonable but God how wrong you are about this. “Donghyuck did you hear me? I said I’m upset at you—“ Your voice cuts off. The notion of yourself being pulled inside the passenger seat with your boyfriend Donghyuck at the driver seat and you scowl in response clearly not amused by how he’s dragging you around like you’re a pretty doll ready to be ruined.

Your boyfriend took a small sheepish smile as he hears you repeat yourself only to have you shut up instantly when he made you go inside the passenger seat and him entering the drivers seat. Donghyuck shut the driver side door and locked it so nobody can disturb you and him now. He wouldn’t want that, to have someone interrupt his sweet reward. Now that you both are in the car and he slowly took off his leather jacket and your eyes couldn’t deny the view. He looks freaking amazing, how does he look so damn attractive just taking off a leather jacket? You hate that you’re so mad at him right now but he’s making it harder to stay mad at him.

He saw that you’re staring at him with your fixated eyes on his bare skin now that the leather jacket slips off his upper body and he spoke firmly with a cocky grin that makes your face feel flushed when you’re already caught enjoying the view of your boyfriend shirtless. “I know you’re upset but you’re still gonna give me my reward. You shouldn’t be acting stubborn when I told you what I wanted.” Donghyuck reaches out his hands behind your head and he slowly and firmly pulls you even closer to him. Now your heads are very close and your faces are barely an inch away from one another.

Your boyfriend takes his time looking into your eyes that are trembling by how close he’s pulling you with his hands that feel so rough and firm. “I don’t think I ever agreed to giving you this ‘reward’ Donghyuck.” You begin to address with a lacking of excitement and confidence in your voice he’s he has you this close for your comfort.

He chuckles a little bit at your words, now he really doesn’t care about what the people will see or can see. He’s never cared for people’s opinions or feelings. Donghyuck doesn’t care about what happens in this car anymore because one, he’s going to show you just how an impatience man can be dangerous when you keep him waiting.

Donghyuck softly adds in a dangerous tone. “You don’t have to, my love. Because I’m not gonna ask. I’m gonna demand it.” He brings his other hand on your cheek and with both hands, he firmly holds onto your head and pulled her towards him for a kiss. The kiss was so hard to reject you didn’t know what came over you to be blushing this hard? You never really felt this warm on your face from a heated kiss. It’s not like he hasn’t ever kissed you before but maybe it’s because this scenario and situation was so complex and different from your usual outcome kisses.

Donghyuck kissed you like he was famished. You’re everything he’s ever been thinking about when racing and thanks to this he’s won. You don’t even realise it how much you motivate him. Donghyuck knows you’re upset but he hopes you understand what he’s speaking and communicate through this kiss. You take in everything. He’s kissing you so deeply.

But you’re not kissing him back as you register what he’s doing. It feels too good and you felt slightly frozen and now you decide to not kiss back to show that you need a little bit of words from him and not just an action to make up. You don’t like being upset at him, you really don’t but sometimes it’s good to hear an apology right? More than an action. Sometimes.

The kiss breaks away once Donghyuck took notice of your lack of kissing back and he shown a little irritation at his girlfriend who pulls away from the kiss. When you moved your face away from the kiss to break it you look at him now as you’re asking for him to do something for you. To show that he feels slight decency towards you to apologise.

“Apologise.” You now broke in silence leaning against the passenger seat in the car you’re both in together sitting in the representative seats.

However your boyfriend despite showing a little irritation on his face when his eyebrows scrunch up only a little for a minute. He still keeps his hands on your cheek and cupping your chin with his right hand, the smirk on his devilishly handsome never leaves either.

“You want me to apologise? You want me to say….”Donghyuck gives her a sly smirk again. You noticed how he used the fake surprise voice to repeat exactly what you demand of him. Donghyuck paused now as he leans a little closer, and he spoke in this taunting tone to mockingly apologise so he can rile you and your boiling mouth up some more. “ ‘I’m sorry, my love.’ So now you can give me the reward I deserve from my girlfriend.”

He’s impatient you can tell. It’s quite obvious when his body was trembling with the need to rush in and he really doesn’t quite understand what red light means to stop. Donghyuck raced for a living, he’s still racing for a living in fact. Of course he doesn’t know how to control and pause himself for a minute. Donghyuck needs everything in his life to be fast and furious. Quite literally.

However you didn’t appreciate how he tries to get away with it by slightly taunting you so you decided to do the same and make Donghyuck wait some more as you’re stretching it out. “What are you sorry for?” Your voice comes out now said keeping your eyebrows up in waiting for a response.

You smirk now enjoying seeing the irritation on his face, so now you’re not the only one feeling slightly irritated.

Donghyuck somehow knew you’d be like this. You’re only trying to get back at him for making you mad earlier on before the both of you arrived at the venue. He feels himself like he dug his own grave today when you’re clearly trying to annoy him. Or maybe you’re punishing him in a way for making Donghyuck wait and wait.

Donghyuck narrowed his eyes at your words and spoke a tiny bit annoyed with that question. “Why are you making this difficult, baby? Isn’t it enough that I apologised?” All Donghyuck wanted right now is his reward, he didn’t care about the argument the both of you had a while ago because right now, he just wants one thing from you, his girlfriend.

He saw your silence now as a way of waiting.

He groans knowing you won’t let this go until he’s specific on why he’s apologising and so he leans a little closer now. “I’m sorry for not apologising sooner and for not listening to you enough, can you now please give me my reward? I’m about to lose my mind here.” Donghyuck said as matter of fact he feels like he will go crazy if you don’t hurry up. You feel satisfied hearing him now say this out loud and all the anger you had was now gone.

You didn’t hesitate now to lap your mouth around his own and start to kiss him like the world was ending. Donghyuck never thought he would crave another adrenaline boost rush from anything else but racing until he met you. You do so much more than any race can make him feel. The thrill of racing was nothing in equal to the thrill of fucking you in his car right now, and that’s what he wants, and that’s what he shall get from you. Your makeout became sloppy real fast which was fine considering he took control real fast and pushed you at the back seats of the car where Donghyuck lead you very carefully to make you lean down. He didn’t waste a time to slip off this dress and unbutton it with the two skilful hands while you’re there too focused on how his mouth was draining every life energy from you.

Your boyfriend’s eyes open as he saw the dress slipping off your body and going down somewhere on the car’s floor. He didn’t care where the clothes end up because right now he doesn’t have the use for them. The makeout travels down with Donghyuck kissing down your neck and meets your collarbones. He gives them a soft greet with his mouth sucking on the soft skin and then going even lower to your cleavage gently pursing them above your breasts. Your boyfriend took gently care of you with his kisses but the rougher hands were gripping your hips squeezing them making you spread a little more and signals you to wrap your legs around his own lower body now.

You gasp when your nipples were teased between the two fingertips and you feel like you had to arch forward as the striking sensation feels like a pinch you cannot get rid of.

He smirks by your reaction. Donghyuck loves to hear you sound so helpless and it’s quite amusing nonetheless because he knows how sensitive you can get and when he rubs his mouth around your neck sucking on the nape of yours, he saw you shudder with a soft sigh. Your hands fiddle around his forearms. “You still mad at me baby?” He cockily adds into your ears pressing a kiss on top of them.

Your cheeks chest rises up with hitching breath you intake as he kissed your ear gently and whispers onto them. You lowly murmur with a soft voice that comes out at the slightest of moans. “Not much…”

Donghyuck adds lowly. “Good…because I feel like i should punish you a little for making me wait so long for my sweet reward.” He quips going down kissing you now with slight rougher pair of lips as his hands now multitask while he’s kissing you so deeply you’re at loss at his feet. He’s punishing you now a little, like he said he will.

Donghyuck bites on your lower lip sucking on it again and kissing you reconnecting your face back into the roughly deeply kiss as his hands were taking off his jeans and the belt off throwing it somewhere behind or in the front of the car where you’re not seated anymore. Your boyfriend rubs his harden cock between your stomach as his body grinds against it. You feel a gasp coming out when you feel his dick touch around your stomach surface.

He smirks pulling away from your lips and saw your gaze to down at how it’s slapping on your stomach, practically begging to be inside you and your eyes tremble at the sight. Donghyuck kissed the sides of your temples in a dangerous tone he spoke. “You see what you’ve been denying me from? You’re the cause of this baby.” He sweetly brushed his hands through your thick hair and watched your fallen expression stay on your face. Donghyuck loves seeing the light in your eyes leave and the hope diminish. It’s always so fun because he feels like you’re at a loss of words every-time you meet his cock, you forget how girthy and perfect it is.

You look up at your boyfriend when he pressed a kiss on the sides of your temples so sweetly speaking but at the same time it felt a little condescending and taunting? Your boyfriend enjoys making you feel slightly small. When you were distracted by the kiss he pressed on the sides of your temples you feel the way his cock slips between your open wide thighs making you spread even more. Donghyuck brushed along your clit with his hand and he cups it before aligning his harden wood between your two folds. He kissed your breasts once again as the first push was to start and you hitch a little.

Every single time you let out a hitch whenever he enters you. It’s a loving and sensitive feeling at the same time the passion and the arousing urge was there and you can’t shake that feeling from anything else in this world. Donghyuck’s body knows how to make you feel ten times more like you’re travelling different universe to universe.

When your boyfriend made its way inside your body with himself filling you up already alone with his size and the girth of how wide he was, it feels like you’re a stuffed animal. Or a stuffed toy more like to your boyfriend. He took the pleasure in thrusting while holding you in this embrace position as you’re both in the back of the car. It’s going to have to make do because it’s not the best place to have sex since the space was quite limited. But your boyfriend’s need for you was limitless.

If he wants to take you in the back of the car, so be it. Donghyuck doesn’t care if he has to hold you into an embrace while he fucks the absolutely shit out of you, if anything he enjoys how close it makes you guys become. You don’t think you ever hugged him while he’s going to roughly pump himself in and out of your body but it feels nicer than you thought. The way his arms were wrapped around your back holding you from wiggling and wobbling forward or on the sides because he’s trying his best to thrust on your insides out. You feel your eyes rolling a little back when your boyfriend continues to deeply enter and pull out, just to enter again and grow even deeper and longer inside you. It feels so amazing. You feel like your moans couldn’t be helped.

Donghyuck slips out a hand over your stomach pressing on it. You were wondering why he’s pressing on this position but when the movements of your boyfriend’s hips fasten you can now understand why. He was feeling himself inside you.

He lets out a deep chuckle as you groan when the speed has changed from alright to now you’re unable to handle it and so you let out many wails of your moans coming out of your throat. “Hmm, you looks so pretty like this Y/n. Can you feel that? That’s me inside you.” You feel his questions running in through your right ear out to the left like you’re flushing it out. You can’t even answer as you bite your bottom lip and your beautiful face flushed red was only watching him.

He could stare at your flushed face as some beads of sweat on the side was running down. He finds it incredibly difficult to control himself when you look like this. So out of this world and aloof while you’re getting your body out wrecked by him.

The lack of words from you while you’re moaning was such a great factor because Donghyuck was just teasing you. “Cat got your tongue, baby? What happened to your words. You looked like you had plenty to say earlier.”

You roll your eyes a little as you shut them tight when Donghyuck suddenly moves his right dominant hand over your clit rubbing it with his two middle fingers to overstimulate the pleasure you’re already feeling towards a thousand mark and not a hundred. He extends each pleasure to torture you some more while he’s speaking between rugged lips and waist while your legs are around his body tightly squeeze. You squirm now underneath him. “Fuck fuck fuck… Donghyuck… don’t. I won’t last if you keep doing this.” your pleas were acknowledged but not a worry for your boyfriend.

Donghyuck chuckles. He doesn’t care if you don’t last because it was the whole motive for him to get you finished and have you overstimulate until you’re literally crying for him to stop. “Baby that’s the whole point.” He whispers and went down even more on you pulling you into another heated and angry kiss almost. In a way he’s not angry at you but he prefers to use the aggressive side of emotions to keep you going since he’s punishing you while also getting his sweet reward he’s been denied from you far too long. But now it doesn’t matter because he’s getting it and Donghyuck is thrilled.

Your boyfriend’s fingers continue to tease and play with your clit as his cock was deeply buried inside your walls and you feel a sudden rush of water flood over you and through your vision you feel like you’re drowning.

Your orgasm washed over you like a gigantic wave and your moans were cut off by your teary eyes starting to flow down your cheeks as your orgasm began to flow down and all around Donghyuck’s cock. He felt the massive flowering attack your body did and it looks like you blossomed even refer shade on your face.

He coos at your dazed expression as Donghyuck removed his hand from your swollen red clit now that he worked it out way too much, perhaps he went a little too far with the overstimulation as you’re now soaking the car seats with your pussy juices but he doesn’t mind.

Donghyuck could care if you damage his car because he values a lot more and right now, Donghyuck was enjoying the big orgasm you gave him on his cock while he’s thrusting inside you now satisfying you and you rummage through your mind that feels so weak and disorienting you can’t barely remember anything else right now.

Your voice was now weaker sounding but you’re moaning between your own words. “Crap… I’m sorry I made a mess.” You grunt when Donghyuck held your hips down even more and he smirks at your apology. He didn’t even need it.

“For what, you’re doing so well right now?” Donghyuck chuckles a little at you as he kissed your cheek. You feel your mind going blank again when he spoke so softly to you.

“The car…” you mutter back and your boyfriend grins amused. He never thought you’d be able to apologise for something like this when you don’t need to. He kissed your forehead. “Forget the car. I’ll clean it later.” He said sweetly and brushed back your hair. “Do you think you can give me another one? Please?” He whispers as he kissed your jawline and you feel your body sinking into the car seats at the back.

You couldn’t refuse such a request from your boyfriend when he’s treating you much softer now even though his body was working it’s way of drilling through you.

Donghyuck saw you give him a soft nod and he continues to work his way with his hand around your clit again, he started slower than the first time since the first orgasm was quite big toll on you. However soon the more and more this continues in the back of your car you feel Donghyuck’s thrusts become intense and his fingers brushing on your clit with fast long strokes.

You were a moaning mess again and Donghyuck locked it when you are getting like this, looking so beautiful and a mess at the same time: you’re a beautiful mess that he enjoys making you look like it and at the end of the day he knew you would forgive him and this was your way of making up too.

Your second orgasm came over quickly and you feel the car shake between your movements now. You’re praying no one you know will see you and Donghyuck like this because that’s humiliating beyond anything you would ever experienced.

You don’t think you can ever come back to that if this happened to you.

Donghyuck saw your expression falter and you arch your head back a little into the car seat leaner even more like you’re melting into them and he witnessed more water coming out of you. He loves seeing how each orgasm only became more intense and more and more coming out of you. He was proud and he gave you a little peck on your lips as you feel so out of your depth you cannot handle another orgasm you feel like, it would be the death of you.

He heard your whispers slip out a ‘Oh’s…’ in many repeats as he thrusts and held you into an embrace again as Donghyuck whispers praises now, he wasn’t condescending as he was usually doing so to taunt you. Your boyfriend was praising you so you can hang on and wait for him now to finish.

“You’re doing so well my love, just wait for me now okay? I’m almost there.”

He was telling you to wait for him now, he rams himself a little harder into you and your stomach clench around the air you’re sucking in with deep pants as your heart races each time with his throaty grunts and muscles clenching by your body. Your boyfriend’s body feels so good inside you it amazes you how each time you do it it’s a different experience and feeling.

Your heart was racing and it feels like you’re a racer of your own now when Donghyuck is rushing to get his own high, he feels like he’s back at the competition again; in that car racing to win the race. You make him feel like a Race Lover again.

The next thing you know it you see your boyfriend’s expression turn into a dark one and you somehow can read it as he’s about to really hit the last bit of his energy to engine through his own orgasm. You anticipate and prepare yourself once Donghyuck’s shaft was twitching so much, he pushed further with his pulsing throbbing cock buried deep inside your cunt.

“Oh… god, Y/n… fuck, I’m there, I’m almost there.” And when he said this he feels the final thrust overtake everything and he’s spilling himself deep inside your pussy with all his mighty soul gives you. His length pumps you up full of his cum and you feel like you’re exhilarating from how much he was racing inside your punching walls to finish off, deeply inside you like it was his dream come true. Donghyuck breathes heavily as he hung his head low to look at you. Your chest was rising up with each breath you took because he takes everything you had in your body away. All your energy and oxygen were gone.

Your eyes drop down at his lips and you lean slowly, very slowly because your whole back is now aching from the position you guys were in without much choice.

Donghyuck felt a soft loving peck on his lips as you leaned in to kiss him.

You whisper to him. “You happy now that you have your reward?” And Donghyuck met with your eyes again as he smiles holding you by having his hands around the back of your body pull you closer, he leans in kissing your face in multiple different directions: He kissed the side of your temples first, then your cheeks, then your chin and your nose, and finally your lips softly.

He’s pampering you with kisses because he wants to show you he is happy and grateful you gave him what he wanted. “Mhm I’m happy, thank you.” He said softly and pulls away from the kisses now. Even though he knew you can’t resist him and his demanding presence anyways.

You’re the only race he can do all over again, and make him feel like his Race Lover self.

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

@onyourhyuck please refer from translating copyrighting and plagiarising my work thank youu. Reblog This Fic and Follow me for more updates it helps a girl out.<3

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lemotmo · 1 month

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I don't often do this, because I try to avoid discourse in fandom and sometimes you just don't vibe with a character. It happens.

But I keep seeing these horrible and, quite frankly, very wrong and disrespectful takes on Eddie Diaz' character. And I can't just sit here and ignore them anymore.

I cannot and will never understand why people don't like Eddie.

I've read some posts and comments earlier about people disliking Eddie and... really? Eddie is boring? He doesn't get interesting storylines? He's just a prop for Buck and his storylines?

Are we watching the same show here?

Eddie is, by far, one of the most interesting characters on 911. The man has had one trauma after the other piled up on him, but still he keeps going. Why? Because of the one thing that matters more to him than life itself: Christopher.

As a single mother myself, I can relate. The struggle to want to give your child everything, to do everything for them, even if it comes at the cost of your own mental and emotional well-being? It is very real. I cannot tell you how many times I end up crying to myself at night, blaming myself because I wasn't able to stop the outside world from hurting my son. And you have to do it all by yourself as well. There is no one there to share the burden with, to share the heartache with. It's tough and it's real.

Eddie's storylines are intricate and nuanced and based in reality. They aren't necessarily the biggest and loudest storylines, but they still matter to people who can relate to him. People like me.

Now, 911 is guilty of showing a lot of important Eddie moments from someone else's point of view. That is true. Especially Buck's POV. The shooting comes to mind, even a part of his breakdown and more recently Eddie's friendship with Tommy. He made a bro-friend and seemed so happy and carefree, but since we saw it from Buck's POV, we can't fully trust this image.

So, I think that is why some people see him as just a prop in Buck's story. But it's much more complex than that. Buck stepped inside Eddie's world without complaint. He helped him out from day one by introducing Eddie to Carla. For the first time, Eddie is no longer alone in life. There is someone there who understands him and his love for Chris. He can safely rest and trust that Buck will be there to step in if necessary. He actually went ahead and put it in his will. Eddie loves the way that Buck loves his son. And the show is still using that bond to date. We saw Buck and Eddie in conversation about Chris, Buck talking to Chris, Buck being jealous of Chris thinking Tommy was cool...

I don't know what the future will bring for Eddie, but I desperately want and need him to be happy. And yes, I do think the narrative will eventually lead him to Buck. His happiness has always been intricatelly linked to Christopher. The way they keep weaving in Christopher in Buck's storyline? The way Eddie keeps being inserted in Buck's bisexuality storyline? These are some of the many reasons that give me absolute certainty that Buddie is in the works.

In conclusion? Just stop hating on Eddie Diaz folks. It's not a good look on you.

#eddie diaz #buddie #christopher diaz #evan buckley #eddie is no one's storyline prop #he is his own person #and I'm very proud to say that he is my favourite 911 character

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thebibliosphere · 10 months

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Hi there, ive come from your post about ADHD and emotional disregulation, firstly thank you so much for putting it into words, its such a complicated part of how i deal with emotions and i havent ever been able to articulate how to why.

Secondly, in that post you mentioned how you've used stress as a motivator and how eventually your stress regualtion broke, i was wondering if you'd be willing to talk about that? (If not, its not a problem)

I feel like the same thing has happened to me but until i read your post i had no idea that something had... snapped? I suppose? I struggle with motivation all the time and in the past id have a week or a few days left and id be able to suddently push myself very hard to complete whatever it is before the deadline, just barely making it in most cases. However now it seems that i can't find that motivation anymore, deadlines come and pass and i can't being myself to work on anything, and i just end up spiralling into shame and guilt. That motivation was the only thing that I was able to rely on sometimes for things like uni, and i conviced myself that it was just me growing lazy or trying to get out of responsibility as to why the "last minute panic-mode" doesnt work anymore.

Again, if you don't wanna tackle this can of worms or if it's something youd rather not post online i totally get it, its no biggie! thanks so much for making the original post as well, it means a lot

Hello friend, thanks for the message. I'm sorry you're also dealing with this.

The good news here is that I've already talked about this using the rubber band analogy my therapist gave me. (Stress is like a Rubber Band)

If you don't have the mental bandwidth to read all of it now, the tl;dr is "stress is like a rubber band; it can stretch to hold numerous things in place when you need to, but if you do it too often or keep adding more and more strain under the band, the elastic eventually becomes brittle and snaps, taking your mental and sometimes physical health with it too."

I've been in intensive therapy for this for roughly three years now, and trying to piece my brain back together after my last bout of stress-induced productivity gave me a total mental breakdown.

It's... odd not being able to use stress and having to actively avoid it to avoid a relapse. But it is doable. Medication would help, but alas, I've got weird health issues and am unmedicated at the minute.

(And just in case that sparks anyone to go, "Oh, you do all this unmedicated! Wow, that's so inspiring!" as sometimes parents do to me on here as they then tell me they don't want to medicate their kids, I've unfortunately also written a post about what that kind of success looks like from an unmedicated perspective and the kind of suicidal ideation I deal with on the regular because I cannot take meds. It is not pleasant reading, but it is necessary for some folks, specifically anti-med, "if you just tried harder" people.)

A book you may find helpful is Burnout: The Secret to Unlocking the Stress Cycle, by Emily and Amelia Nagoski. It was very validating for me to read about other people going through the same things, and made me feel less of a "this is a personal failing on my part" and more of a "Oh okay yeah, no stress literally breaks people."

It helped soothe some of my own internalized "I just need to try harder" and helped cement me on the path I was already going down with my ADHD therapist toward changing how I view myself and how I manage my ADHD.

I hope that helps! If you've got more specific questions or I didn't touch on something in my old post, I can try to answer them :)

#chronic health tag #adult adhd #adhd

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darkficsyouneveraskedfor · 7 months

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Don't Speak 33

Warnings: this fic will include dark content such as dubcon/noncon, obsession, stalking, manipulation, reclusive behaviour, disordered eating, dissociation, allusions to abuse, and other possible triggers. My warnings are not exhaustive, enter at your own risk.

This is a dark!fic and explicit. 18+ only. Your media consumption is your own responsibility. Warnings have been given. DO NOT PROCEED if these matters upset you.

Summary: Reader is a reclusive loner who ventures down to the library on a simple mission. Her task is complicated by the man she meets there. (f!short!reader)

Character: librarian!Andy Barber

Note: Okay I had no plans to get this done but since US thanksgiving is near.

As per usual, I humbly request your thoughts! Reblogs are always appreciated and welcomed, not only do I see them easier but it lets other people see my work. I will do my best to answer all I can. I’m trying to get better at keeping up so thanks everyone for staying with me <3

Your feedback will help in this and future works (and WiPs, I haven’t forgotten those!)

Love you all. Take care. 💖

You cling to that moment of peace. Without Andy touching you, smothering you, invading you. You hide your head under your bent arm, curled up on your side as you try to close the world out. Reality slices through you like a razor.

You cannot outrun what is. Not anymore. You’ve lost that ability. Your mind can’t summon the fantasies that once kept you safe. There is only the tenderness inside and the bruises on your thighs.

He’s there, somewhere, lurking. You thought he would go to work but that hope was quickly crushed, along with all your others. He stayed and touched you until that got the better of him. Then he would put you on your back, or your stomach, sometimes your side, however he wanted you…

And you let him. You don’t fight. Your weightless body follows his whim and opens to him. You squeeze your eyes shut and whimper as your walls clench at the thought of him near you.

There’s something wrong with you. You’re supposed to love him, so it shouldn’t feel so bad, right? After all he’s done for you, shouldn’t you want him to do that? Shouldn’t you be just as eager for him?

You don’t understand it. It’s not supposed to hurt so surely, you’re doing something wrong. You’ll get it right. You can be what Andy wants, what he needs. You will not be another burden. Never again.

You hear him coming. You quiver and shrink down further. You can’t find the strength to sit up and try.

He greets you with a sigh. Oh no, he’s mad. You whimper and curl your arm snugger around your head. What did you do now? What is he going to do?

He nears the bed, his shadow standing over you as his presence brings a dark cloud. He shifts and sniffs, turning to sit on the edge of the bed. He puts his large hand on your shoulder and you wince. You squeeze your eyes shut.

“We need to talk, Dove,” he says.

Talk? You can’t handle it. You’d rather he just hurt you than repeat the facts. You don’t need him to tell you how bad you are, you already know.

“Sit up,” he shakes you, gently but enough to jar you.

You relent and fall onto your back. You stare at the ceiling and press your hands to the mattress. You sit up, little but little, your muscles knotted and stiff.

You hug the blanket to your chest, hiding behind it as you hunch your shoulders forward. You can’t look at Andy so you focus on the lump of your feet under the covers.

“Why do you keep lying?” He rasps.

You blink as your lip trembles, tears threatening to spring free. He’s mad again. Your entire body tenses as you brace for what comes next.

“You could’ve told me about Steve,” he lifts the shape in his lap and you glance over. It’s your tablet. “He’s your doctor, I wouldn’t have been mad.”

You sniffle and cup your chin in your hands, fingers over your mouth. You watch him turn the tablet over and slide back the cover. You don’t try to stop him or defend yourself. He’s right. About everything.

“If you needed help… with the toy or figuring things out, I was here. I am here. You could’ve asked me,” an edge creeps into his voice, “why didn’t you ask me?”

You don’t say a word. You’re trapped in your own guilt. He has the proof in his hands. You did it, you lied and betrayed him.

“The only thing I ask of you, is that you tell the truth. You haven’t, so I can’t trust you. Not until you show me I can,” Andy closes the tablet, pressing his thumb to the cover. “And maybe then you can have this back.”

You nod and hang your head. It’s easier if you just do what he wants. You’ll get used to it eventually, maybe even one day, you’ll be normal and want it too.

🕊️

“This is nice,” Andy struts into the room with a hanger in hand.

You sit on the edge of the bed where he left you. His frustration drew you out of your cocoon to shiver in the morning air. You can smell the crisp autumn seeping in around the window. There’s no point trying to figure out how long you’ve been like this, counting the days will only make it torturous.

You glance over as Andy waggles the dress at you, one of those he bought you. The bishop sleeves are almost longer than the skirt, the shade of faded plum overlaid with a translucent layer. You look at it and nod. Whatever he wants.

“You’ll have to clean up first,” he lays the dress on the bed, “it’ll help you feel better too.”

You blink and pinpoint on his chest. You can’t look him in the face. He nears you and runs his hands down your arms, sending a chill through you. He bends and twists you around to scoop you up. He hums as he lifts you against his chest.

“Aren’t you excited, honey?” He chimes.

You frown, excited? You let your head fall against his shoulder. There isn’t an ounce of strength left in you.

“Thanksgiving,” he prompts as if it’s obvious, “I got everything we need! So you can get started once you're ready. Don’t worry, I woke up early to deal with the turkey.”

He enters the bathroom and puts you down on the closed toilet. You look down at yourself. You wear his t-shirt and nothing else. He moves away to crank on the tub and quickly comes back to you. You wrinkle your nose, confused.

“Thanksgiving?” You croak.

“Uh, yeah, duh!” His tone is laced with forced enthusiasm. “Our first together.”

He tugs the hem of the shirt from under your ass and you murmur. You try to catch the cotton. He tuts and you let go. He rolls the fabric up your body and you lift your arms, surrendering.

“An…” you start to say his name but can’t get the bitter noise out. You clear your throat, “what if… I don’t feel good, I don’t know if I have the energy–”

“You’ve been in bed forever. You can get up for one day,” his timbre turns rigid, “you promised me. You promised Doctor Kemp. Do you want to let us both down?”

You close your eyes and slump. He huffs and tosses the shirt on the tile. You reach to touch your lashes and sniff back a wave of tears. It’s not just the time, the way it moves without you knowing, no, it’s him that makes you feel so helpless.

“Don’t do this,” he whispers, half a growl.

“I…” you inhale, struck by his fury, “I won’t. I’ll be good.”

You try to force a smile as you pull your hands away. Your cheeks twitch and your eyes sting, your lips just won’t curve the way you want them too. Another sigh as he stands straight. He rolls up his sleeves before he lifts you again.

He lowers you into the tube as you squeeze your legs together. You fold your arms around yourself, trying to hide, as he reaches for a scrubby and the bottle of vanilla soap. He pops the cap violently as the water bulges up towards your knees.

“Dove,” he reproaches as he grabs your arm, straightening it as he holds your wrist firmly.

You squeak as he scrubs you harshly. You hide behind your eyelids as the flash of another memory strikes you. The cold downpour of water from a screaming shower head, chattering teeth, and quaking sobs.

When he makes you stand, you curl your fingers to tight fists. As he washes you, you feel even more exposed than before. He takes his time on your chest and stomach, surprising you as he leans forward to his just beside your navel. You flinch and glance down.

“You’re beautiful, honey, you shouldn’t be so shy,” he says, “all done, sit.”

You obey and he finishes up the bath, helping you stand before wrapping you up in a soft towel. He pats you dry and moisturises your skin with the fragrant strawberry lotion. This time, he makes you walk back to the room with him.

As you consider the dress, he goes to his dresser and slides out a drawer. He comes to the bed and drops something else. You stare at the white panties and bra, see-through and speckled with little hearts.

“Happy Thanksgiving,” he says as he touches the front of his shirt, damp from the tub, “I’ll change too.”

You bite your lip and keep your chin down. You touch the dress, staring at the underwear, mortified at the thought of wearing those. Why can’t you wear something comfortable? Why can’t you be you? Why can’t he love you as you?

🕊️

Andy said Steve is coming. You don’t dare ask when as the conversation about your tablet looms over you. You don’t want him to think anything bad of the doctor. It’s not his fault, you’re just stupid.

You put your energy into following the precise instructions printed out before you. All the ingredients are set out neatly for you. It’s all manageable, even for you.

In the next room, the TV blares with the commentators on the NFL pre-game. Andy paces in and out, as if checking on you, or maybe he’s restless. You start peeling the sweet potatoes as he comes in again, looking at his watch.

“Dr. Kemp said he’d bring dessert,” Andy says, “I bought a pie just in case. If he isn’t here in the next hour, we’ll take it out of the freezer.”

“Okay,” you agree as you drag the peeler over the bumpy potato.

“You must be excited, huh, dove?”

“Um, sure, I… I like Thanksgiving. Lots of food,” you smile, you’re getting better at that. “Um, yeah.”

“What?” He tilts his head, his hands going to his hips. Oh no, he’s mad. Again.

“N-nothing, I didn’t…” you look away, “nothing.”

“It’s just Steve,” he shrugs, “I don’t have family. You know, if you bothered to ask, you might realise we’re a lot more alike than you think.”

You chew your cheek and focus on stripping the orange potato. You never did ask. You didn’t think you should. It feels nosy so it’s not that you never wondered or cared, you just don’t know what’s right.

“I’m sorry,” you murmur.

“For?”

“For not asking. Sorry that you’re alone too,” you grab the next potato.

“Not anymore, dove, we got each other, right?” He chirps, “anyway, before you get too deep into that, you should really do the snacks first. Can’t watch football without munchies.”

“Oh, I… I didn’t think…” you put the potato down and wipe your hands on the dish towel on the counter.

“Wait, wait,” he goes by the fridge and unhooks an apron hanging on the other side. “You don’t want to dirty up that pretty dress.”

“Uh, good idea.”

He puts the top strap over your head, tugging it down snug to your neck. He signals you to turn and you do. He steps close, reaching around you as he smooth the front and drags his hands to the thinner straps behind you. He ties them slowly, tickling your lower back through the dress.

“Let me see,” he steps back.

You face him and he admires you. You look down at the floral fabric with a large bow at the waist. It looks almost like a vintage dress on its own. You straighten your arms and sway as he purrs.

“That looks so good on you,” he steps closer and you plant your feet, resisting the urge to retreat. “Makes me wanna eat you up.”

Your chest racks with panic as he advances on you. He corners you against the counter as he flutters his fingers along the ruffled edge of the apron. You watch his hands creep up the fabric and gulp. Oh, again? Here? You thought you were safe.

“We got time,” his hands close on your hips, “just a little taste.”

You yelp as he takes you off your feet, perching you on the counter. Your ass knocks a bowl across the island and you brace the granite for balance. He pushes your knees apart and steps between them. You're paralysed as he cups your chin, tilting your head back as he kisses you. Suddenly.

He clamps his hand around the back of your neck, locking you against him. His other hand trails down your leg, stopping at your knee and crawling back up. He slips beneath the apron and your skirt, tendrils radiating from his touch. Your muscles spasm as you gasp.

He parts from your lips, kissing your jaw and neck, nibbling and moaning as his fingertips inch towards the trim of your panties. The cool air slips beneath your dress and through the thin fabric. You shudder as you close your eyes, trying to bury yourself inside.

“Mmmm, dove,” he shifts and nuzzles your chest.

He slowly gets to his knees, holding your legs apart as he pecks along your skin. You whimper as he edges towards your skirt, his breath dampening your thigh. He hums and pinches you with his teeth.

“Delicious,” he pokes his head under your skirt, a sudden ding breaking your trance.

He retracts, sitting back on his heels as the doorbell echoes through the house. You look down at him as he closes his eyes and grimaces. He shakes his head and pushes himself up to his feet, grunting as he stands.

“Great timing, as always,” he scoffs.

He struts out, his chagrin obvious in his posture. You push off the counter, landing awkwardly on your feet, tweaking your ankle slightly. You go to the doorway, peeking around into the hall but not daring to venture out.

Andy rolls his shoulders as he stops by the door. He heaves a breath as the doorbell chimes again. He turns back the latch and twists the handle, pulling it back.

“Andrew,” Kemp’s voice booms into the entryway, “Happy Thanksgiving!” You can’t help the way your heart topturns at his familiar timbre, “brought dessert.”

“What is she doing here?” Andy growls.

“Thanksgiving is for family, Andrew, and her family is here,” Kemp insists.

“No, I didn’t invite her–”

“Where is she?” The unseen ‘her’ asks. Your mouth falls open. Amber? “Let me see her.”

You rush forward without thinking. No fear, no doubt, you just want to see your sister. You scurry down the hall and brush by Andy, elbowing him as he reaches to stop you. You burst out through the doorway and crash into Amber, wrapping your arms around her.

“Hey,” her voice piques as she hugs you back, “hey, I’m here.”

#andy barber #dark andy barber #dark!andy barber #andy barber x reader #don't speak #series #fic #dark fic #dark!fic #au #library au #defending jacob #fresh #steve kemp

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macgyvermedical · 2 years

Text

How to Go To a U.S. Hospital in 2022

Welcome to the hospital. You may have heard that we're understaffed. We are. We are no longer in a position to live up to the hospital experience you had back in 2019.

This post is about how to get the best possible care despite these trying times. Much of it is also applicable to long term care facilities and other institutions who are running on empty.

The Emergency Department

Consider: Do you have to go to an emergency department to get the care you need? If you need a prescription or a covid test or an inhaler or an x-ray or a STI test or basic diagnosis and otherwise you're probably fine, go to your doctor, a quick clinic, or an urgent care. You will not get care faster in the emergency room. I promise. Go to the ED if you are reasonably sure you would die or lose a limb if you didn't.

The ED is not first come first served. People who are going to die if they are not seen get seen first. If you are stable, even if you are in pain, be prepared to wait. At the height of covid we had stable people waiting for over 24 hours in the waiting area. We also cannot legally tell you to go somewhere else, even if we're pretty sure you're not sick enough to get seen anytime soon.

Bring your home meds. You are going to be there a while and you might not get in a bed in time to get your next dose. Even when you do, it takes a long time for a doctor to order your home meds. We never intended you to stay here for 4 days, so the infrastructure isn't there. Also, bringing your home meds is going to save you money.

RE: the above- tell us what you're taking, when you're taking it. We do want to know that so we don't give you anything that would interact with it. We also really want you to keep taking your home meds so you don't get worse.

Bring a charging cord for your phone, a change of clothes, a book, and if the visitation rules allow, a friend. You're going to be here a while.

The Emergency Department is designed to figure out what's wrong with you and do things that will save your life or help you leave the ED without having to get admitted. Sometimes the ED will treat pain, but each pain medication dose is ordered separately, so it's probably not going to be on the time scale you want or need. I hate to say this, but do keep asking. We have been really conditioned to assume if you stop asking, you're not in pain anymore.

If they tell you not to eat, or not to take a certain med, follow that advice. I know you've probably been there for a while and no one's told you why you can't do these things. That's not great. Ask why if you can, but assume the request is legit.

In order for you to be admitted, you need to be sick enough that they can't just kick you out with a cab voucher, a prescription, and a turkey sandwich. That's pretty dang sick these days. Pretty much, you have to be in danger of dying or losing a limb if you don't get admitted. And also, a bed in the hospital has to become available that can accommodate your needs. This usually means someone else has to get discharged or die. That might take a while, because they were just as sick as you when they came in.

The Hospital Floor

So they decided to admit you, a bed became available, and transport finally showed up to take you to your new bed.

Bring the following: A charger for your phone (I know you'd think we have these, but I swear we don't- they've all been stolen). If you smoke, bring nicotine lozenges or gum (you can't smoke or vape here. We have patches, but if you wait until you need a cig, it's too late for a patch to work, and if you try to sneak out most places will not let you back on the floor and you'll have to go back to the ED). If you have heartburn regularly, bring tums (we can order you tums, but you'll only be able to take like 1 every other hour, and let's be honest, if you use tums you usually need more than that). If you take a weird med, bring it (especially HIV drugs, chemo drugs, and meds for autoimmune conditions, because it takes forever to get some of these because we don't always have them on site). If you have severe allergies, consider bringing your own food. Seriously.

RE the above: Tell us what you're taking, when you're taking it.

Do not bring narcotics. There's too much liability on our end. Both because we cannot control how much you take if they are in your possession and if we find them we have to call security to watch us count them and store them in a locked drawer and which will be destroyed in 30 days if you forget to ask for them on the way out. It's just a hassle and someone is always in danger of getting sued over it.

If you drink more than 4 drinks a day, or use street drugs, tell us. Tell us please please tell us. We will not tell the cops. If we know, we will then be able to ask you questions about your withdrawal symptoms and can give you meds to control them. If you wait until you start swinging at us and having seizures we will not be happy.

Also, if you're on MAT, tell us. We don't automatically re-order suboxone or vivitrol like we do other meds. Addiction med has to be consulted, come see you, and work miracles to get that ordered for you while you're in the hospital.

If you see pain management, tell us as early as you can. Pain management has to be consulted and then work absolute miracles to get the admitting providers to order your home regimen, because anything more than 10mg of oxycodone every 4 hours is terrifying to them, even if you take 160mg of methodone everyday at home without a problem. The sooner they know you're here, the less likely you'll be miserable for a week before those things can be re-ordered.

Also, bring a friend. Seriously. I'm not kidding please bring a friend who is willing to help take care of you- things like turn you, help you dress, feed you, hold your hair back when you puke, and change your sheets when you pee the bed. And please bring someone you feel will follow the rules and ask before getting you something. You don't want to stay longer just because your friend brought you food you weren't supposed to eat because they felt bad for you.

A scheduled event is not really scheduled. Yes, you might have been told that your surgery is scheduled for 8am. You might have been told your dialysis was going to be "this afternoon". These things are not set in stone, and unless you are literally and currently dying, nothing is happening "right now". I have watched people wait days for appendectomies, gallbladder removals, displaced fractures, and other urgent-but-not-immediately-life-threatening problems. All a late intervention means is that someone else would have died if they did it as scheduled.

MOVE. Barring an unstable pelvic fracture or two broken femurs, if you can get out of bed and walk around, walk (ask your nurse if they want you to ask for assistance when you get out of bed to prevent falls). If you can't, sit up in a chair for part of the day. If you can't do that, move around in bed- roll back and forth, bend your knees, point your toes, do anything to keep you moving. If you're in pain, take pain medication strategically and move when it's most effective.

6:30 to 9:30, day or night, is the worst time period to put your call light on. Report time is 7 o'clock, meaning we have about a half hour to learn about our patients and set up our day, after which we have about 15 mins allotted per patient to assess the person, discuss goals for the day, find and pass daily medications, get vitals and blood sugar if applicable, and do anything the patient needs to get them set up for the day (water, pain meds, set up tray/feed, toilet, etc...). Put it on if you need to, but know that it will take a lot longer to be answered during these time periods than any other time of day.

You can refuse anything you want to refuse. You just can't sue us about it later. You can even say "I know you told me to do this thing, I am not doing it, please document accordingly". We will probably try to explain the consequences of not doing the thing. I recommend you listen, but the choice is certainly and always up to you.

You can leave against medical advice. It is also a thing you can do. As long as you let us tell you the risks, you can leave with prescriptions, education, and a wheelchair ride to the front door if you care to stick around for an hour or so after you declare you would like to leave. Some insurance companies have rules about this, which you can find by calling them. Just call and ask "what are the consequences of leaving against medical advice?" Some insurances don't have any consequences, some will completely refuse to pay for the stay, and some will refuse to pay for a second ED trip or admission within 30 days for the same problem.

Our prioritization system is: Critical (CPR, evaluating changes in status, dealing with changes in vital signs) Urgent (bed change for incontinent patient, pain/nausea/time-sensitive meds, drawing stat labs, answering phone calls from doctors, etc..) Routine (scheduled meds, scheduled assessments, calling family members, basic comfort things, ambulating patients, education, etc..) and Extra (everything else that has to do with comfort but isn't necessarily going to change outcomes).

I have had whole shifts where I don't do anything that isn't critical or urgent (with one routine med pass that was really late). I've rarely had a shift in the last 3 years where I've been able to do anything extra.

We're doing our best. Seriously. Nearly every shift I've worked has been absolutely flat out for 12 hours, and it takes a solid 2 days actually to recover from 2 days in a row of work. I would say I rarely get a full lunch break. Our patients are more and more complicated, and the decisions higher and higher stakes. Please understand. If you or a loved one hasn't been seen by the nurse in a few hours, it just means we're not as worried about you as the person down the hall who keeps trying to die.

We wish we could give you 2019 care. We really, really do. We don't have the resources for that anymore. We are triaging. The hotel vibe they were trying to present in 2019 is in the facility design only. You have to bring your own bells and whistles. You have to help us help you now.

#hospital #hospital life #tips and tricks #nursing #patient

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yuri-is-online · 8 months

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idk if ur into more soft + toxic jadeyuu but if u aren't just ignore this plz 🙏😭 and sorry in advance this got out of hand (cw: jade purposely poisoning yuu, mentions of jade purposefully playing with yuu's feelings)

anyway, ur 'jade poisoning yuu' idea gave me thoouuuughhts and ive just been imaging jade who only ever saw yuu as like a pawn at first cuz he wanted someone to play with for a while-- and jade being jade constantly makes mushroom dishes but imagine his surprise when they actually accept his meal and eat it happily.

people usually find his mushroom obsession annoying and offputting so he's suprised but OBVIOUSLY his first thought to this yuu eating his dishes is 'now i finally have someone to test all these poisonous mushrooms on!! ^^' but his heart skips a beat when he thinks of them. jade merely brushes it off as his excitement of shrooms

so the next time he makes a mushroom dish for yuu, the mushroom is poisonous and they suffer the effects of it. he's not even trying to hide what he did and he's actually more curious to see how they'd react.

but they accept his invitation to eat dinner again for some reason??? and his heart does another weird fluttery thing when they say yes but jade takes the opportunity anyway and poisons yuu again

this continues for a while and anyone would think that jade would've gotten bored of them by now, but he's... hanging out with them even more? and taking them on even more dates that don't include mushrooms, poisonous or not?

and honestly, even jade himself is surprised because there isn't a coherent reason to why he's doing these things with them. sometimes (before all this happened) he'd hold their hand and give a kiss or 2 just to see their disappointment when he didn't act lovey-dovey the very next day>> but he's been doing these romantic actions every day as their "poison mushroom dates" increased.

he still smiles when he kisses yuu but it's a different kind of smile. his heart is fluttering more and more often, his cheeks are turning pink when they hold his hand and he's feeling all kinds of things he's never felt before.

he lays in his bed one night thinking about yuu and he realizes he's fallen in love. he never expected this to happen but he smiles and giggles and tells his mushrooms all about his newfound revelation.

now whenever mushroom dates happen (which are sometimes still poisonous ofc), he feeds them to yuu with his own hand.

You must be dreadfully lonely. That's the only reason Jade can think of for why you let him do this. Perhaps you truly think yourself to be alien, that the fleeting touches he grazes you with are all you deserve. Not that he will tell you otherwise, he's far too interested in finding out where your line lies.

But he finds his instead.

If I ever say no to more soft + toxic jadeyuu assume that is not me. they/them used for yuu, same CW from above, i don't think this is borderline anymore it's full yandere

It was supposed to be another test of your limits, a slight apology for paying some attention to a visiting student he'd previously only shown to you. Just one kiss to the back of their hand to seal a completely unnecessary deal, and you had refused to seek him out for a whole week. He was proud of you, truly he was, but not remorseful in his addition to this particular dish. Jade watches you roll the pasta around in your mouth and wince as you try to speak. The numbness spreads from your tongue to the back of your throat and you make no noise-

But eat the rest of the plate, not even rolling your eyes once. You cannot speak, but you still smile when he asks if the food his good. And for some reason now his words were stuck.

"You're a good cook, we should do this again sometime." You hoarsely say as he nods quickly, staring down at your cleaned plate. A wicked, giddy smile overwhelms him, he has a dedicated test subject now; oh how delightful you have proved to be, not at all as boring as he had first thought. ~~~~ The second attempt he has you make together and he wonders what it is laced more with, toxins or his joy at your strange willingness to let him drag you around. Up the mountains you had gone together to fetch a pail of mushrooms, and when you fell down after consuming the crown he found himself jumping after, your now flimsy body cradled in his arms.

"Oh dear, I think I added a bit too much." He has to look the very image of a devil, and though you don't really have the ability to escape anyway he still finds himself holding you quite close to his chest. "Do give me chance to make it up to you? This Saturday perhaps?"

"There's an unbirthday party that afternoon." You sound almost as disappointed as he feels angered. "Perhaps we could do Friday?"

Oh of course you could, he does hope you have your apologies prepared for Riddle; if you intend to return after this then you cannot be upset when you are much too sick to attend. Or perhaps he should try to control the dose and accompany you? The thought of you among the roses in a stylish outfit is doing odd things to his chest. ~~~~ "I don't know what it is you want but please stop." Azul is the only one who would ever be brave enough to scold him like this. "I never liked watching you tease the prefect, but since they were willing to work at a lesser rate I endured it but this is just painful."

"Oya, I take offense to that." Jade "sniffles" because truly he does not know what to do. Who would have thought a simple request for some time off would- well never mind of course it would spark a debate. But he hadn't listed the prefect at all in his note, just that his club would be going camping over the weekend and he was intending to be unavailable. Just because he has been addicted to your presence as of late does not mean anything. Sure, he has not poisoned you in a while (you almost seem disappointed, what a truly tempting little-) "I assure you everything I have done is with the prefect's consent." Has he truly been spending so much time with you that it is obvious you will be tagging along? And why does the idle thought that this could invite danger cause such a painful feeling- fear could it be fear that he is feeling? Over you?

Azul massages his temples as he lets out a truly painful sigh. "That's sort of the problem, have you even thought about what that means?" Jade increases the volume of his sobs. "Of course you haven't look, I will approve your request but please for the love of the sea do not do anything actionable?"

"I have no idea what you could possibly be implying." His cries magically dissipating as he happily goes to his room to look through his closet and prepare. ~~~~ Jade dreams of Yuu that night. He dreams of the plush of your lips and thighs, of the comforting grip of your hand as he walks down the hallway or along a trail, his mind is tortured with images of what he pictures your sleeping face to be like.

He awakes with the realization that he will soon know. Azul was right he had not thought about what any of this meant, of his actions, of yours. And if he must own the truth he still does not know what yours mean, and that scares him even if he laughs loud enough for Floyd to throw a pillow at his head.

"I love them." He whispers to the terrariums on his wall. "I love them." He vows to the mushrooms in his garden and the moon somewhere up in the sky over the seas. How unpredictable, how beautiful, how very much like him to not tell you why he insists on feeding you himself on your trip, or rests your head in his lap the next time you sleep off the poison. There is a process to these things, he thinks anyway, and Jade has been impolite enough to skip several steps. Perhaps, he idly thinks as he traces the size of your finger, you will let him skip several more? After all, there is so very much you deserve, and he is surprisingly willing to give.

#twisted wonderland x reader #twst x reader #jade leech x reader #jade leech x y/n #jade leech x yuu #yandere twisted wonderland #i probably should have just published this when you sent it to me but you made me so happy i just #needed to add to it i am so sorry #<3 asks

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