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satoruzlove · 1 year

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hello again! first and foremost, thank you for doing my request 100000x more than what i imagined 🙇🏻‍♀️🫶 AND HERE I AM AGAIN lol i can't help but to imagine many scenarios with Haikyuu boys (courtesy of TikTok)

can i possibly request a scenario of atsumu (and whoever haikyuu boy you could imagine that certainly loves socializing) based on the tiktok trend where the boys are having a night out and they give their s/o food/money/or just something that makes their girl happy just to get their permission & telling them not to call/text/bother/find him for the whole night.

for better reference; https://vt.tiktok.com/ZS8jbW2rg/

- 🫧

my beloved bubble anon, FORGIVE ME FOR TAKING A GAJILLION YEARS WITH THIS. i was trying so hard to imagine writing it the right way around but i couldn’t stop myself from doing it the other way around!!!😭😭 i hope you don’t mind .

DONT TEXT ME, DONT CALL ME .

[ atsumu miya , rintarou suna ]

- one [1] ass slap in tsumu’s,touchiness, atsumu healing my daddy issues one ‘sweetheart’ at a time, rintaro almost strips, ALMOST. very soft angst , rin with an attitude lol-

a. miya !

tonight is your little reunion between your highschool friendgroup. fun, right?

no.

well, when you get there it will be but before you do wont. the reason for this is that your man child boyfriend has a habit of following you everywhere- it was actually the only reason he wanted to know everyone you spend time with. so he can always tag along and be with you 24/7, 365. you love him for it and it’s very endearing how he craves your presence but you couldn’t help but want a little alone time with some people that you’ve made memories with.

your group has been planning this about a month in advance, which gave you a month to decide how you wanted to go about keeping tsumu away. you thought about asking his friends to take him out, sending him to run errands but they all made you feel like you were committing a crime and trying to make sure atsumu stays in the dark about it.

discouraged, you had sat down to wallow in your own stupidity and opened your phone. scrolling through tiktok, you had found a solution to all your problems. a little video , no longer than 20 seconds, was gonna secure your fun night out with friends. said video showed a guy giving his girlfriend food in exchange for her not to call, text, email or even think about him. you reckoned that it would work on your blond lover too.

now you practically skip down the stairs barely able to see your feet because of the sheer amount of food in your hands. you even asked samu to make atsumu’s favorite rice balls and picked them up on your way back from work- safely hiding them in your bag. atsumu finally comes into sight when you reach the kitchen. he’s leaned up against the counter, hair messy and his honey eyes focused on the screen of his phone. he only looks up when you nearly trip- and his eyes widen.

“babe, what the hell-?” he tries, but you simply saunter over to the counter and look him dead in his eyes. first, you put everything down infront of you. “i’m going out with my high school friends and- before you ask i still love you- but i wanna go alone,so” atsumu’s eyes shoot up at the uncharacteristic seriousness in your voice, but he allows you to continue. you put down a bag of mcdonald’s, his favorite order with an extra large fry just how he likes, “ do not text me,” you take a bag of kfc , mainly wings that are extra hot because you know he loves to wash it down with coke,” do not call me,” as you put things down, you can see atsumu’s eyebrows drop and a pout grow on his pretty pink lips. finally you present the rice balls that samu made, and a coke, “ don’t email me, or smoke signal me, or anything. okay?” you finally finish, look up at him hopefully.

his lip is jutted out as he glances down at the items you used to bribe him and back to yours. you nearly start tapping your foot impatiently. atsumu leans down so for once, you two are eye to eye level. “ are ya sure you still love me?” he asks you softly. you think for a moment that he’s kidding, but the pause and loud swallow you hear give him away.immediately, you realise that you’ve screwed up. before you can answer, your boyfriend speaks again. “if you didn’t want me to come you could’a asked me to just.. stay here. i would have. ya didn’t have to go and spend all that time bribing me like i’m a mafia boss or somethin’” atsumu sighs, obviously disheartened and now walking away from you. you go to hold his bicep to stop him, but he easily moves out the way without making it look obvious.

you’re feeling really bad now, the dull look in his eyes eating into your tummy. “ i do still love you, tsum, don’t be dumb. i just,” you paused when he looks at you with a raised brow. he looks like he really couldn’t care less about your excuses right now. “i actually don’t have an excuse, i’m just being dumb,” your voice was small, timid from hoping that your boyfriend isn’t too upset. the last thing on your mind is the buzzing phone in your pocket but it’s the first in atsumu’s.

he turns again, getting a glass of water. “ answer it, go. have fun. just text me if you get drunk off your ass and i’ll come get ya, if ya aren’t sleeping at one of your friends’ places.” atsumu instructed you. you bite your lip in thought.quietly , you go up behind him. he pretends to not notice your presence, the warmth of your skin hovering over his clothed back. his eyes stay trained on his very important glass of water. your arms wrap around him gently at first but when you feel no protest, you get comfortable. he tuts, tongue clicking against the roof of his mouth. “ you’re gonna be late, yn. go.” and you nearly cry at him using your first name- but you soon realise that if he did what you had done, you’d be doing a lot worse than calling him a first name.

you inhale. deep, calming, hopeful. “ i’m not going,” you mumbled into his covered flesh. he fights a smile, affection creeping onto his skin. “ why? you seemed pretty interested in it a minute ago? i reckon you should go have fun with your little friends. god knows why ya wanna be here, with me, who you wanted to avoid all night.” as he talks, his tone is more playful , more pouty. you rub a thumb over his tummy, speaking into his back and causing vibrations that seem to warm his soul. “because i realise that i like you more than them and i screwed up,” you say. he nods curtly, eyes shiny with unshed tears that are now going away. “ good. i’m glad you know that.” he says.

your newly free arms are folded as you do your classic awkward smile- waiting for his verdict. “go change. we’re watching mulan.” atsumu tells you. before you walk away, you go closer to him.

“i’m sorry,” you say, tenderly putting a hand on his shoulder. “ i should’ve just asked you like a normal person. i wont do that again, promise.” you know you’re in the clear, his eyes soft and his own hands running up from your hips to your cheeks to hold them. he plants a kiss on your lips, affectionately holding your face until your cheeks squish slightly. “it was funny , kinda,” he mumbles. you huff air out your nose, shaking your head. “barely. i almost made you cry,” you reply. he shrugs. “‘s okay, sweetheart. i forgive ya. i wont crucify my baby just ‘cause ya don’t know how to communicate.” and you laugh at that. he releases your gorgeous face, placing a little slap on your ass. “ go on, get comfy. you got a whooole night of apology cuddles ta give me, lover.”

r. suna !

suna rintaro is apathetic, painfully apathetic.

everyone knows. it’s his resting bitch face, the monotone voice and hooded eyes that make people think that he doesn’t care. for others, it’s true, he doesn’t. when it comes to a news anchor or someone interviewing him he wouldn’t give them any time of his day if he wasn’t forced. he isnt the type to talk without purpose- and until you that purpose was only to tease people, communicate, or pass a sarcastic comment every once and a while.

but to you? suna rintaro was not himself , or what people have ideally plastered together of him in their heads. suna rintaro became rinnie, or rin. the rin who would hold your hands in his when it was cold or rub his cheek against you for fun, rin that kissed your nose and kissed your shoulders after you showered. rin who would lip sync any song he heard in the car to you.

rintarou became a completely different person around you; his walls of steel melting to a puddle and letting you pass. his heart became only for you. something that also changed was how tolerant he became to being around someone, that someone being you. he found himself wanting to be around you always, opting to come with you everywhere and always touching you in some way. no matter how much you writhed or attempted to sway his clinginess it never seemed to ebb away.

that is how you were put into this situation. standing across from him as he lain on your bed- all his favorite food, a new hoodie , and a $100 bill on top of it. he stared at you in absolute disbelief. “ .. so the reason i got you this is because i wanna go to the spa, and no. you cannot come.” you explain to him, tone firm but your heart nearly falling into your ass when he sat up with a bored look on his face. “ are you like,” he starts, picking up the gifts like they were toxic waste- only with two fingers, “ bribing me right now?” he asked. you pondered for a moment, “ basically. i am , yeah.” you reply. he looks up at you, green irises boring into yours as he tries to telepathically say that you’re kidding.

he sighs when he realises that you arent. he gets up, his t shirt draping down his large figure as he collects all the stuff and places it in your arms. “ don’t want it, and let me go shower,” he mumbles, walking past you. you drop the items back onto your shared bed, following him like a lost puppy. the sound of water wafts to your ears as you reach the bathroom, rin now shirtless in front of you. you look at him, confused.

“ showering.. for?” you ponder out loud. he blows air from his nose, pulling his sweat pants down and adjusting the water. your boyfriend, only in boxers, turns to you. “ so we can go to the spa, you silly thing.” he teases , hand coming up to pinch your cheek lovingly. you scoff. “ i just said that you can’t come, rintaro.” and he hisses in faux pain.“full first name? ouch.” your boyfriend jests. before he can hop into the shower, his hands hook around his boxers and-

“rintaro.” you call him sternly and he laughs wholeheartedly. running a hand through his brown hair he’s now inches away from you. “you did say that i can’t come, but you’re wrong. i’m literally getting ready to right now,” he says casually. you poke at his built chest, eyes flitting up beautifully to meet his own. “rintaro i said no, just stay here, you don’t even like the spa,” you were whining now, and his heart squeezed ever so slightly at your childish tone.

“true, i don’ like the spa, but i like you.” he smiles , hands rubbing your shoulders. he places a kiss on your nose, directing you towards the bathroom door. “so, before i get naked infront of you and we both end up staying here, go away.” and before you could protest - he was gone.

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dontlookatmehereplease · 2 years

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Did I talk about my 23 bday here? I'm not sure and I'm too lazy to check tonight.. this morning. It's better for me to write out here how it made me feel so hopefully I can let it go and figure out how to move on from that day. Ok to start I guess, as usual as of late, it was a depressing day for me still. Multiple reasons but the main thats more prevalent, now that I'm older and able to semi understand peoples general opinions of me, is that now that I'm very openly and loudly out as myself even less and less family is willing to make an appearance or even speak to me. My dumb and naive and sad kid brain still just wants people to eat with at my birthday, the more people who actually gave a shit about me who pass tho is causing an obvious drop in is willing to show. I get people are busy, I get busy, but it's not just my birthday that this is prevalent in, i go to other family dinners and other birthdays and plenty of people are willing to move things and make time for others because they're family. But those same people wouldn't talk to me outside of that predetermined family setting where its unavoidable to see me and where they're forced to chat with me, however brief. I love my family and I always have but the older I get the more I feel like an outsider for being myself. I can't lie and say I never thought about falling back into dark thoughts and just pretending to be okay being their granddaughter and niece again just to have a glimpse of the love I felt from everyone when I was growing up, from before I had the words to put to how I was feeling about my body, to how I was feeling about how others were seeing me as. I miss the dumb ignorance I had on my bad days because on those days I wish for nothing more than to feel their love where their new distance is and I blame myself on especially bad days where I make myself believe that I'm the one who fucked it all up, that it's my fault for that deeper love leaving a void whenever they have to be close to me. Certain members speak as little as possible to me, or make a point of being disinterested in whatever I'm saying or simply just don't speak to me.

On especially bad days I get depressed thinking of why it seems like all the people who honestly accepted and or cared for my best interests passed away, leaving everyone who only played along for that person then stopping when there's no on in their mind to keep up appearances for. It makes me wish I was taken with them, to where others accept me, but I know that wont solve anything. If anything it'd give people even more reason to be disinterested in being correct and polite, I'm scared to ever find out how many would turn and say they saw it coming, or to turn and say improper and incorrect things to everyone around saying I'm this or that just because there's no one to stop them. I know people say they'd care if I was suddenly gone, and I know a good amount who honestly mean that, but no matter what my dumb little brain is still worrying over those who'd probably call it a relief in their head about it.

This took on a deep deep dive into dark waters. I don't believe I'll come back to read this one, too much at once but I needed to get this out of my head, this has been in there for a while. Definitely a build up over the past years. I think my next plan shall be to finish my energy drink and to clean my room to keep as much of my stuff organized and away from others hands to take care of. Too much happening lately to focus on too many things which I already am. That will be another post. Later though, I'm definitely running on fumes and not just from tonight. That has been happening for months now and I'm ready for something to break, it feels like something will and I just hope theres someone around me who will actually let me rest before continuing with everything again. So much to do but goodbye till later vent page.. I'll be on when I can think again probably.

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yanderememes · 2 years

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which of the yandere jojos will be affected by a darling's tears? like, they wont lock darling in the basement if the darling is crying too much about it, or something? Which of the yandere's will be unaffected by darling's tears? hell, will any of the yandere's actually LIKE making their darling cry?

hope you have a great day :)

OMG I LOVE THIS Ask! 😭❤️

Crying is apart of the darling lifestyle 😂

Thanks for the ask! I had a lot of fun writing this and it's under the cut. Hopefully it's not too short. I did this on mobile so idk how the length is for each jojo but I tried to keep it fair 😊

Jonathan

Affected by darling's tears

He would feel terrible

He didn't mean to make darling cry! A gentleman never makes anyone cry!

Jonathan would apologize profusely and try anything and everything to make it up to darling

He'd start off by hugging them in his bear hug

Jonathan isn't the type of yandere to punish his darling, so he'd give them a bit more freedom to make it up to them for making them cry. Like allowing them to go out (but only under the condition that he's out with them and with little to no convos with others)

"I can't believe what I've just done. I have no right to call myself a gentleman. I should go, but... I still love you a lot, y/n."

Joseph

Affected by darling's tears

He might not seem the type, but he does care and would be affected

He just wants to have fun with darling, not have them sad and cry

He'd try to cheer you up by being more goofy and comedic than usual. Try and get you to laugh

When that doesn't work, he'll cave and give you more freedom. Not as restrictive as Jonathan, it's the closest thing to freedom you've experienced thus far with Joseph

But if you use this chance to escape then he won't give a rats ass if you cry. He wants to see you suffer after you manipulated him

"tsk tsk. Nice try, y/n. You actually almost got me there. But now I'm actually really pissed. I'm gonna make you cry for weeks"

Jotaro

Not affected by darling's tears

Darling is feeling sad and crying? For what? Jotaro will wonder

He will understand if he physically hurt them like punching or kicking them for being disobedient

But if darling is crying because of emotional pain, then you've lost him

Jotaro ignores you for the rest of thr day until you stopped crying

He doesn't know how to comfort people when crying, let alone with darling

Jotaro may not be affected by darling's tears but that doesn't mean he likes seeing you cry. He loves you after all so he does want you to stop

"dry up your tears quickly. It makes you look ugly."

Josuke

Both not affected and affected by darling's tears

With Josuke, it really depends on what mood he's in

If he's angry then he won't care. Darling can cry all they want. He's justified in his reasoning (even though he's delusional)

If he's fine, then he will care and try to comfort darling. He'll shower you in more affection than he usually does (which is 1000x at this point)

If josuke is in a good mood then he MIGHT not lock darling up.

"don't cry, y/n! I know! Let's go out on a date! You can also sleep with me tonight. You don't have to sleep in the cold basement, that's what you wanted right?"

But if he's angry, then no tears will work on him. For example, he might be angry because you tried to leave him. Which leads him to punishing you and you start crying. At that point, he likes you crying cuz then you'll understand his pain

"why are you crying, huh?! This is what you deserve!"

Giorno

Affected by darling's tears

Giorno is the reason for your tears but he's also the one who dries them off

It hurts to see you cry. He never wants to see his precious darling unhappy. He wants them to smile all the time

But he's nothing without his resolve. Giorno wouldn't lighten your punishment or give you more freedom outside the villa. Cuz he still thinks he's right to keep you here

Instead, he'll keep you company. He'll work from home for a few days until you've calmed down. If you cry in your room, he'll work in your shared together right across the bed to always check in on you.

He'll give you a strong but gentle hug to comfort you

Will have your favourite dish prepared to make it up to you and speak to you in a very soft manner

"come here, cara. It's alright. Shh, no more tears, tesoro. I hate seeing you cry."

Jolyne

Affected by darling's tears

Jolyne will think that your crying is a sign of dissatisfaction with your relationship with her

It freaks her out and gives her anxiety.

She takes this as a form of rejection and she somehow messed it up.

Or rather, YOU don't love her

She'll beg you to stop crying and make several failed attempts to get you to stop

From trying to be funny, apologizing profusely, hugging you tightly, and giving you gifts and kisses

If you don't stop crying then Jolyne will be on the verge of tears herself

She'll go to pleading puppy dog eyes to playing victim and blaming darling if the crying persists

"hey, y/n. Please, please stop crying. I don't know what to do! I'm trying so hard but you just won't cooperate. If you love me back then you won't have to cry again!

Johnny

Not affected by darling's tears

Johnny just doesn't understand where you're crying. It doesn't make sense to him

Johnny is a bit of a sadist yandere so he likes seeing darling cry

In fact, out of all darlings among Jojos, Johnny's darling is the one who cries the most alongside Jotaro's darling

So this is a typical day for him.

*rolls his eyes*, they're crying AGAIN?

He thinks it's cute and makes them appear helpless. Kinda a power thing for him given his physical condition

Will tease darling and won't really comfort them

"aw, come on, darling. Dry those tears off. Are you upset cuz I forgot your birthday?"

But if you keep crying and he's done teasing, he might get pissed. Like he's done with this charade

"hey! How much longer do you plan on crying? I never took you for a crybaby."

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jawabear · 3 years

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Hypothetical (Javier Pena X Reader)

Not My GIF

A/N: So, firstly I want to start by saying thanks for 200 followers?!?!?!? like that is awesome!! Secondly, this was a request that I had a lot of fun writing! and I actually really like it, I hope you do too. Also, for the Spanish parts I used google translate because I don’t speak the language so it maybe wont be entirely accurate. Sorry for any mistakes. Stay safe :)

Genre: Fluff

Warnings: fem!reader, none really, Soft!Javi, drinking, Pedro Pascal comes with his own warning

Summary: There’s this one girl who he really likes, hypothetically what would happen if he asked her out?

Javier let out a deep sigh as he pulled up outside his favourite bar. It was a small and quiet place so it was perfect for him, someone who spends all day surrounded by people who couldn’t careless about him or anything else really. But the main reason he went there was because of the barmaid that was always working on his drinking time. If anyone could make him feel better about his shit life, it was her.

His entrance into the bar was the same as it had been since the first time he ever went there. The bar was quiet, a few regulars scattered about the place, a quiet but almost obvious song playing in the background. And (Y/N), the barmaid, was making and servings drinks between wiping down the bar, making light but idle chat with the ones she served and the ones who sat at the bar.

If we go by the story that barmaids are there to listen to problems, (Y/N) certainly is the perfect barmaid. She was always a welcome listener if anyone ever had an issue. She was nice to talk to. She was a friend to all, but she could be firm when she needed to. That was evident to Javi when one guy started getting a little too flirty and a little to handsy towards her, she firmly put him in his place that shocked everyone, and Javi hadn’t ever seen that guy again.

Javi sat in his regular seat, (Y/N) was talking to someone else. Oscar, his name was, if Javier remembered correctly. A writer, not a journalist, a writer. Apparently he was writing a fictional book, something to do with mysteries and detectives, most likely a children’s book but who was Javi to judge? If it worked out for him, go for it. It wasn’t like Javier was any better off, hating every second of his infuriating life, but in a strange way he knew he wouldn’t change it. Yet.

(Y/N) seemed to clock Javi’s presence and skilfully managed to shorten the conversation without making it seem like she was trying to get away from Oscar. She didn’t even need to ask Javier what he wanted, she had known him long enough to know what drink he was in the mood for, and right now he was in the mood for whiskey on ice.

She gently placed the glass in front of him with a smile before leaning on the bar in front of him “tough day?” She asked quietly.

He nodded and took a large swig on his freshly poured drink “it always is (Y/N)” he told her flatly.

“You should take a day off” she said pushing herself off the bar and preparing drinks for other who had just walked in. She had a great memory and knew exactly what drink to make each person, this didn’t make Javi seem as special to her as he would like, but she did seem to spend more time talking to him then anyone else in the bar. “You’ll work yourself to death”

“If only” he laughed dryly “anything to get out of this...constant loop of failure” he took his drink in his hand and gently swirled the amber liquid.

“Javier, in all seriousness, I really do think you should have at least one day off. It’s not healthy working as much as you do, especially in the job that you do” she served a few others, giving them polite smiles as she continued talking to Javi.

“It’s because of what I do that I don’t think I’ll be able to get a day off” he said. She let out a defeated sigh and came back to stand in front of him again.

“I still think you should try” she said

“And do what, on my hypothetical day off?”

“Well, you could hypothetically relax. Take some time for yourself. Or...we could...hypothetically maybe go out..or something” her gaze had shifted to the cloth she used to wipe down the bar which suddenly seemed like the most interesting thing in the world.

“You mean like a hypothetical date?” He asked takin a smug sip of his now empty drink.

She took the glass from him and began to refill it “unless you don’t want to...in which case that’s fine...”

“And... what if I did want too?” He asked as she set his refilled glass in front of him. “What would you say?”

“Then I’d say ask for a day off, and that I work 6-10pm Monday through Friday and 5-11:30pm on weekends” she smiled sheepishly as she went about cleaning a glass before filling it for another customer.

“I think,” he began, rather proudly, “If I’m taking a day off, hypothetically of course, then you should take a day off too”

“I only work nights Javi” she chuckled.

“That may be” he hummed, swirling the amber liquid in his glass “but those nights must be long. Especially when you have people like me giving you sob stories”

“I don’t mind it” she said quietly as she lent on the bar. He instinctively moved forward looking at her with fondness in his eyes which she returned. “It’s good company”

“Yeah?” He said just as quietly, a softness in his voice that was new to her. It was as if in that moment all his worries had slipped away and he was just a normal guy with a normal girl.

“Yeah” she agreed softly.

“Tomorrow? Here, at six?” He offered quickly.

“It’s a date” she smiled.

Tomorrow, there, at six couldn’t come quick enough for him. He had somehow managed to grab a day off which didn’t do him any favours. He should’ve been relaxing but he was far too excited to relax. He felt young. Like a lovesick teenager asking his crush out or something. But in some respects, that what he was. He certainly liked her, no one made his day quite like she did. He was giddy at the thought of actually going in a date with her.

Luckily for him, the day seemed to fly past and soon it was coming up on six. Javi pulled up to the bar and made his way inside. She wasn’t behind the bar. Instead it was a young blonde girl who he had never seen before. But he wasn’t too bothered about that. His girl was sat at the bar swirling her drink in her glass before taking a sip of it.

He couldn’t help but smile. Butterflies swirled in his stomach. He felt amazing. He was quick to compose himself and casually walked over to the bar taking up the seat beside her. She didn’t clock him at first, only turning to look at him when he spoke.

“So, do you come here often?” He asked in a smooth voice, hiding his giddiness well.

She turned her head and looked at him. Her eyes softened as soon as they met his and she smiled softly at him as she placed her drink back down. “Considering I work here,” she said “yes. What about you? Are you a frequent visitor or are you just passing by?” She asked resting her elbow in the bar and her chin on her open palm as she looked at him with the same fondness as the day before.

“Frequent. But with company like this, can you blame me?”

“Certainly not” she smiled.

He gave her a quick scan up and down, a soft smile finding its way to his face, “you look positively stunning tonight”

(Y/N) let out a nervous laugh and turned her gaze away from him briefly “thank you Javi. You don’t look too bad yourself” she said looking back at him “clearly a day off has refreshed you”

“I have to admit, I haven’t done much relaxing”

“Oh? What have you been doing instead?”

Being far too excited about this date is what he wanted to say. “Just stuff” he said “my job had made it so I find it pretty much impossible to sit down for a while”

“That’s a real shame. I think I relaxed too much” she laughed “I didn’t get out of bed until 1. I was still in my pyjamas an hour ago”

He laughed at her words. He ordered a drink and they moved to a free table near the back of the bar where they sat, drank, spoke and laughed for the remainder of the night. Right up until closing time. Maybe he didn’t spend his day relaxing, but that night with her made him feel more relaxed then he ever had in his life.

But nothing good lasts forever. And they both soon found themselves outside her apartment. “Well, this is me” she said gesturing awkwardly to the door.

“I really enjoyed tonight” they both said at the same time making them both laugh.

“I really did” Javi continued, “and I should thank you. If it weren’t for you, I probably would be working myself to death. But it was nice to have a day off. A real one”

“You don’t need to thank me. You deserve a break. You work so hard and do so much for the people in this country and quite possibly the world. That’s a heavy burden to bear. But you bear it because it’s the right thing to do. Even if you have to shake the wrong hands to get there”

“I wish I shared your confidence” he said “sometimes I think we’re no worse then they are...”

She stepped forwards and placed a soft kiss on his cheek “you’re nothing like they are. You’re a good person Javi. A good person, with a kind heart. And I’m always here for you should you need me”

For a moment they stood in silence looking at each other before Javi made the move, taking her face between his hands and pressing his lips to hers. She brought her hands to rest on his waist lightly as she sunk into his kiss which she had long desired. It was so much better then she could’ve ever imagined. It was so gentle and loving, but yet a passion in it that made her stomach flip every which way possible.

He slowly pulled away from her, resting his forehead against hers. She smiled as they swapped their hand positions, his hands falling to her waist whilst her hands rose to rest on his cheeks. “I feel like that was long overdue” he said. She laughed softly and hummed with a nod.

“Yes. But hopefully we can make up for lost time” she said.

“Oh, for sure” he said before kiss her again, this time a little more deeply, a little more passionately. But it was just as thing were really staring to get going that the clicking of a door was heard, ignored at first but then a voice came which was less ignorable.

“(Y/N)? ¿Eres tú, querida?” (Is that you, dear?) A aged female voice came from two doors down. (Y/N)’s landlord. A nice lady, a very sweet lady. A lot nicer then most landlords in the world. (Y/N) and Javi pulled away from each other and (Y/N) looked over to the older lady, Mrs Ortega. She was wearing a light pink dressing gown, slippers and a night cap over her grey hair. Round glasses on her nose but she still had to squint to see the figures clearly.

“sí, señora Ortega. Lo siento, no quise despertarte” (Yes, Mrs Ortega. I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to wake you) (Y/N) apologised quietly, wondering if she would end up waking any other who were in the floor.

“Veo que tienes una amiga contigo” (I see you have a friend) she said with a hint of a smirk as she looked between (Y/N) and Javi who were still very close to each other.

“buenas noches señora” (good evening, ma’am) Javi said politely with a slight nod.

“Los dejo a los dos. Buenas noches querido” (I’ll leave you both to it. Good night, dear) she turned with a slight wave and waddled back into her apartment.

“buenas noches” (good night) (Y/N) called back quietly before the door was shut. She turned back to Javi who was looking lovingly at her, his nose now pressed against hers.

“tu español es sexy” (your Spanish is sexy) Javi said in a deep voice. “I never knew it was that good”

“I’m glad you think it’s good” she smiled. She paused for a moment and looked down, thinking over her next words. “Would-Would you like to come in?” She asked in a small voice, scared of rejection from him.

“Yes” He said simply. She smiled and turned to unlock her door “I have a late start tomorrow, so we should be fine”

“What do you think we would get up to to make you late anyway?” She asked as she opened her door and turned back to face him.

“Something hypothetical” he said before wrapping his arms around her and kissing her again as they fell into her apartment.

09/12/20

#javier peña #javier peña x reader #javier peña fanfic #narcos #fluff #Pedro Pascal #fanfic

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memoriashell · 3 years

Text

seashells and shores ( and something a bit more )

Characters / Pairing: Fukawa Touko / Naegi Komaru, ensemble class 78; varyingly background / implied ships are sakuraoi / ishimondo / celeschi / naeleogami

crossposted on ao3

Notes: a very late day 3 for @tokomaruweek. beach prompt! yesterday i was feeling a little burnt out so i decided to not write since i didn’t want to put out something half assed. hopefully this being a bit longer helps make up for it! ( and by a bit, i mean i basically doubled the word count compared to what i’ve done for this week so far lmao rip so much for hoping i’d catch up tonight )

rated t for touko's trauma. and also for junko having her tits out. thanks junko.

anyways tw for like trauma, the general self-depricating / self-concious stuff for toko but also like. her trauma w/ water is brought up since it's. beach? and also drowning doesn't actually happen but it is brought up. and touko mentions claustrophobia in relation to her trauma offhandedly once, and again, just generally feeling insecure.

also it's kinda implied that chihiro and celes are both trans thank you!!!

Summary: going to the beach isn't exactly an exciting thought for her, given the fact she has no desire getting in the water.

komaru seems dead set on making sure she makes some memories anyways.

Do you want to come to the beach with us? That is the first text of the morning that she receives, courtesy of Makoto Naegi. Touko considers asking who he means by us, gathers that he probably means some assortment of their classmates, and ( while it is very tempting to say yes ) concludes that she can safely say no. And she intends to do exactly that, but she gets a set of texts that stops her from being able to do so.

touko-chan!!!!

ur coming with us, right?

you should come with us!

itll be fun!

So Komaru would be there too— their...friendship is odd, all things considered. Not that the knowledge of knowing she’d be there makes the offer any more tempting, but she bites her lip and considers what to say. Not that there’s really much of a question, just keep it blunt and to the point as per usual. No point in sugar coating things.

I’m busy. Maybe next time. She’s not that busy, current manuscript aside. Not that Touko intended on ever not being busy. It’s not her fault that Komaru is too dense to take a hint.

awww :(

pls?

if u don’t wanna get in the water, ill make sure they’ll leave you alone. im sure you won’t be the only one that doesnt want to!!

Ah. She might have to ( partially ) retract her statement on Komaru being dense. Had she figured out her reluctance without her even mentioning it, or had that just been a lucky guess? Maybe it was just Makoto’s luck rubbing off on her...

i understand if you don’t want to come

and i’ll leave u alone if u rlly dont wanna come.

but it wont be as much fun without you there :(

Urgh. Yeah, this girl doesn’t understand a thing, does she? She’s probably not even realized the impact her words have on her. Touko grumbles under her breath, but figures she should respond before Komaru sends another text begging trying to convince her.

Fine.

I’m not going in the water, though.

If this goes horribly wrong, I’m blaming you.

That is a lie. Even if worst comes to worst and Syo feels the need to front for her, she won’t hold it against her. She’s the one who agreed, after all. It’s just one last attempt at offering her an out. To change her mind. Like she should. But Komaru is nothing if not stubborn, so she doesn’t really expect that offer to be taken up on. She starts making a mental checklist of what she probably needs to take with her, doesn’t get very far into that list because Komaru’s response is nearly instantaneous.

yayayayay tnk u touko-chan ily!!!!!! :D

we’ll pick u up k????

ur staying @ the place near the dorms right? see u soon!! ♡♡

Touko grimaces at the butchering of language that is Komaru’s texting ( and ignores her own fluttering heart upon seeing the casual hearts sprinkled in at the end ), and sends back, If you love me, fix your grammar.

The car ride over is mostly uneventful. In that she means she feels like she’s going to have a headache before they even get there and Makoto keeps giving her a sympathetic look. In other words, she’s learned that Komaru and both Asahina siblings should not be left to entertain themselves for the hour-long car ride, but the only silver lining here is that it was only an hour-long ride and hopefully they would be tired out for the ride back.

The highlight of the hour was that even if it’d been a tight squeeze in the backseat, that meant she’d been ( somewhat ) uncomfortably sandwiched between the door and Komaru herself. She’s a little surprised that it doesn’t set off her claustrophobia, but reckons that might just be because it’s too bright to remind her of being locked in a closet. And also because Komaru is generally distracting in close proximity, from the way she’d been halfway sitting on her lap, to the faint scent of what Touko figures to be her shampoo.

She also considers it a victory that she did not dissociate in the midst of that, but probably only because Komaru kept checking on her and apologizing for how close they are: she’d had to bite her tongue several times from saying something harsher than she’d really mean. She doesn't hate Syo, but probably counterintuitive to let them front today: whether they are aware of this, or simply just disinterested in trying to front right now, she is thankful. If nothing else, she would consider this some kind of learning moment. Maybe. Something to draw inspiration from?

Still, once she’s free from the confines of the car, she can actually relax a little— or does for all of two seconds before Komaru has grabbed onto her free hand and started dragging her towards the loud group that she recognizes as her class. Yuta and Aoi had bolted out of the car the moment they’d come to a stop to race to the waters ( she can’t imagine being that athletic and feels tired watching them ). Touko gazes back longingly at the confines of the car and the consideration that she might’ve been able to isolate herself there, but her grip’s pretty tight on her hand. Which is nice, and distracts her from thinking about escaping until it's way too late, and she’s forced to look at the group before her, and—

Slaps a hand over Komaru’s eyes with a groan. “Enoshima, wh-what the fuck, you—” She holds off on the ( derogatory ) word she wants to say, and just scowls at the sight before her. “This isn’t a...a nude beach? Are you t-t-trying to get us in trouble or something?” Granted she’s not technically completely nude, but also more revealing than she should be. Seriously, she would’ve figured that Ishimaru would’ve already told Enoshima off already because what else is he good for ( then again, he is single-handedly the only person who would probably take no real issue with it, or be naively convinced by her that it wasn’t really a problem, so maybe she really shouldn’t be that surprised ).

Enoshima cackles at her. “Don’t be a prude, Fukawa! Or are you jealous? I’m just trying to get a sick tan.” While she’s at it, where the hell is Ikusaba to keep her sister in check? Whatever, that’s not really important, and she refuses to dignify that with a response given that Enoshima probably only wants to get a rise out of her.

Instead, she makes sure to put a decent distance between them before removing her hand from over Komaru’s eyes with a huff. “Urgh, honestly...what on earth m-made her think that was a, a good idea?” She grumbles, glancing around now that she doesn’t have to stare directly at...that.

Actually, now that she looks around, the only seemingly responsible person from their class currently present was Oogami— and honestly, she seems too busy being in love with her girlfriend to count ( if it wasn’t kind of heartwarming, she’d probably be disgusted. Not in a homophobic way, in a general ew PDA sort of way ). As for any else viably responsible: Kirigiri being absent wasn’t a surprise, Fujisaki’s too soft to really keep people in check, Byakuya is...his own entirely separate category, and she would rather die than count Hagakure as responsible in any capacity. And Makoto might be a voice of reason, but she’s pretty sure he’s utterly useless here. Which is probably a horrible sign of things to come, but what else did she expect from anything involving her peers?

“You don’t want to go in the water, right?” Komaru’s voice cuts in through her thoughts, watching her closely before taking her hand to start pulling her along then. “We should set up somewhere to sit, then!”

We? She thinks, but instead attempts to free her hand from her grip and voices, “...Don’t you want to go in th-the water with the rest of them? You don’t have to, uh, to stay with me, you know. I’m not a k-k-kid.”

Her expression looks conflicted. “Well, yeah, of course I do want to! But only for a bit, probably? I mean, it’d be kind of rude to leave you alone since I asked you to come?”

She ignores the way her stomach twists at that, and purses her lips. “Technically s-speaking, Makoto asked first. You aren’t— it’s not rude of you to want...to want to have some fun without me. I know I’m n-n-not fun to stick around.” She knows she wouldn’t want to stick around herself if she had the choice. “It’s not like, like I wasn’t prepared for th-that.”

“Yeah, but— that’s the thing. You shouldn’t be! And I want to spend time with everyone, and that includes you too.” And now she’s sulking. God. Fukawa is about to growl back something she’ll probably regret saying, but is saved from doing so by a much calmer voice interrupting, having overheard their argument.

“Why don’t you go join your brother for a bit? Fukawa-san can join us if she would like to. We have an extra seat.”

Celes looks hot— and she means that in a very literal sense ( mostly ), decked out in one of her usual frilly black dresses. She looks out of place in the hot summer heat. Touko is also not sure where and how she managed to get a table out here ( and tea, apparently, and you know what she’s just not going to question it ), but Fujisaki is already pulling out the extra seat in offering, and she sighs reluctantly. Better this than feeling like she’s holding Komaru back.

“G-G-Go. Or...or I’ll let Syo toss you in the water.” Not really a threat - if anything, Syo would dive bomb into the water with her. Argh, maybe she should’ve just let them front today...

( No, no she shouldn’t have. The only person currently present that Syo would’ve mostly listened to would be Komaru— and maybe Makoto or Fujisaki if they were feeling generous— which is an entirely different set of issues she doesn’t want to linger on. Needless to say, she doesn’t particularly want Syo to cause chaos today )

Touko is saved from having to argue further with her on this because as Komaru opens her mouth to protest, Yuta comes to steal her away, blabbering on about something about a game they should play: and while he’s definitely as oblivious as his sister, she’ll consider that a good thing, just this once. The only words Komaru manages to get in is to ask Toko to keep her bag for her, which she would’ve done anyways, picking it up from where she’d dropped it. She watches them wander off ( and only looks away when Komaru starts discarding the clothes she’d been wearing over her swimsuit ) before trudging over to sit next to Fujisaki, who flashes her a small smile as she types away on her laptop.

“I am surprised you came, Fukawa-san. You do not seem like the type for these activities. You are usually quite disinterested in participating in these kinds of things, in fact. Did something change?” Ugh. This is why Touko hates being around Ludenberg. Because she’s observant, generally only bested by Kirigiri in that regard, and is generally good at picking people apart when it comes to lies and acts and fronts ( though Touko would argue this is from personal experience, and not from being a gambler ). And this fact would have irritated her, quite honestly, if she had not self-sabatoged herself by taking it as an insult, instead.

“I-I-I get it. No one really wants...wants me here. That’s what you meant, right...? You don’t have to r-remind me.” She grits her teeth. If nothing else, when she isn’t busy lying, Touko can appreciate her honesty. The tiny hand that wraps around her wrist stops her from saying anything further, even if it doesn’t take much to wrench her arm out of Fujisaki’s grasp: but she gets the feeling she is only able to do so because she isn’t actually trying to hold on too tightly.

“I’m sure th-that’s not what she meant, Fukawa-san...” Ever quick to play peacekeeper, she supposes. Touko simply grumbles at her and rolls her eyes. “...Especially since not everyone was available today, it’s nice that you were able to join us!”

“Yes, it is a shame. I would have liked for Yamada-kun to have been able to help with my tea, today.” Celes sighs as if disappointed— really? That’s what she’s on about?

Touko does a second look at who is not currently gathered, and denotes, “Is Maizono st-still out on tour...?” She thinks Komaru had mentioned something like that in passing.

“Yes! Maizono-san is on tour, Yamada-kun is at an important convention, Ikusaba-san, she’s...doing some kind of training...? I think Kirigiri-san is supposed to be on the tail end of a rough case, and...” Here Fujisaki pauses to giggle into her hand. “I sh-shouldn’t really laugh at this really, but Ishimaru-kun got sick. Oowada-kun had to force him to rest since he had been trying to work through it and made it worse for himself... or so that’s what I was told.”

Oh, so that’s the reason she hasn’t heard the loudmouths today? She might take back her sentiments on Ishimaru being useless, but he’s on thin fucking ice. Of course the overachiever would get sick during the summer holidays— apparently, she’s not alone in that thought.

“Only Ishimaru-kun would get sick during vacation and still manage to find a reason to not take a break.” Celes rolls her eyes, but Touko gets the feeling she’s amused too.

“So wh-what you’re saying is, uh, is that Oowada’s going to get sick next...right? I guess— we’ll find out if idiots get s-s-sick or not.” Touko quips— which earns a softer laugh from Fujisaki, so that’s pretty good.

Of course, it wouldn’t be like her if she didn’t put her foot in her mouth almost immediately afterwards by asking why they aren’t going in the water: she’s not really surprised because Celes rarely participates in gym ( and coming from Touko that says a lot ), but she was pretty sure Fujisaki wasn’t that self-conscious of herself. Not as much? Not that she really has any place to talk in that regard.

“Well, we already went to the beach at the start of the summer holidays! I’m not really missing out on anything, and it’s probably not my last opportunity to go during this break anyways.” And then, a little more sheepishly. “...Also I’m close to making a breakthrough on this code, I think. I wanted the fresh air, but I don’t really think I can afford to take much of a break right now.”

“She would have stayed on the train if I did not warn her we were approaching our stop, I believe. And not all of us can be like Enoshima. The brazenness of that woman is truly something else.” Touko is not sure if she says that from a place of respect or fear, and honestly she relates. And also doesn’t say any further on the subject because Celes gives her a dirty look.

Her gaze goes back out to their peers— she is pointedly avoiding needing to look at where Enoshima is— and spots Komaru and Yuta splashing around with Aoi and Oogami. Well, it looks like just splashing at least, from where she’s at. And Hagakure, who really just looks like an out-of-place sea cretin with the way his hair floats on the water’s surface, so. There’s that?

( No, she’s not at all envious of the fact that all of them get to have fun because they don’t have crippling fears: the ocean does not instill the same fear of confinement that a cramped bathtub does, but fear— there is still the fear that something will tug her down and her body will simply let herself dragged underneath out of instinct, a fear of something worse if she tries to fight for survival— )

Focus. She can feel the way her breath catches a little, the uneasy way her heart beats and concentrates on calming down. She doesn’t seem to have gotten Syo’s attention yet, nor anyone else’s, thankfully. She’ll just...watch Komaru for now, yeah. It takes a moment to relocate her, head breaching from underneath the water and surfacing like...like one of the sea’s legendary enchantresses. She means that in a wholly respectful way, of course, watching the way she shakes the water from her hair, mouth open in a wide grin while she laughs. Touko doesn’t need to hear her to know that on the sole basis of her appearance— the bright look in her eyes is enough to say she is happily enjoying herself without her.

On that note, hm. Maybe she can use some of that for the basis of her next novel— something about a siren and a lady visiting the sea? Tragic romances are always a hit, aren’t they? Okay maybe a tragic lesbian romance is more self-projection, but that's besides the point. No one has to know its self-projection if people eat it up like anything else that has her name on it.

Or maybe you need to talk to a therapist more often? Syo contributes helpfully, apparently having become more conscious at some point. Maybe her panic hadn’t gone as unnoticed as she thought. Not that they’re wrong, but talking to a therapist isn’t exactly going to help with her gay pining ( unfortunately, she wishes it were that simple ).

Yeah, that’s not something she really wants to linger on, and as if Celes can read her mind, says, “How do you ladies feel about a bet?”

“Pass.” Touko says immediately, because she is arguably far from a smart person, but she is smart enough to know to not take her chances against the ultimate gambler. Celes ignores her.

“You see, I would bet that Komaru—”

“No. We’re leaving h-her out of it.” Toko interrupts, and Fujisaki ( thankfully, like the god sent angel she is, even if she seems too good to be real ) nods her agreement.

“I don’t think Naegi-kun would be really happy if he heard us talking about his little sister like that...” Her reasoning is fair, if nothing else.

“Fine. Do you think Naegi-kun is going to interfere on Togami-kun’s behalf, or help Kuwata-kun?” A painted fingernail points out the trio by the sea. Kuwata seems pretty intent on forcing Togami into the sea, suit and all, much to his disdain. The duo is yelling, probably. On the other hand, Makoto just looks like he doesn’t know whose side he’s supposed to be on here.

In the end, it doesn’t matter because by some luck ( or lack thereof ) Togami manages to trip on a washed up stone and ends up taking the other two boys down with him. The heir doesn’t even look all that mad, really, as Kuwata dunks him back under the water in retaliation: she knows what his angry face is, and that is not it, even if it looks kind of like he’s swallowing a lemon.

Or maybe that’s just her and her sour mood feeling like she’s swallowed several lemons raw because Touko doesn’t know how to make lemonade out of all the citrus life has handed her.

“By the way Fukawa-san, about Komaru—” Celes starts, but is interrupted by Komaru’s sharp yelling, which is followed by the wet feeling of her arms wrapping around her. Touko frowns, pushing her away.

“You’re w-wet.” She states the obvious as she makes a face, not that that seems to stop her. “Are you...you're done going in the water f-f-for now?”

“Mhm! It’s too cold in the water, honestly. You’re nice and warm.” Komaru hums happily, and she grabs a towel from her bag to wrap her up in it before she ends up being the next sick kid. “I was thinking we could maybe spilt a snack...? And then we could make a sandcastle! Asahina-san was telling me about shells she saw earlier that we could use?” Touko bites back a small snort at how childish she sounds.

“Yeah, yeah— let go of me, s-so I can get up...” She agrees, ignoring the curious way Celes’ watches their interactions. She mutters something that passes for a thanks before she leaves ( not that she thinks Fujisaki notices at that point, full enraptured by her laptop screen ).

By snack, Touko realizes that this is more of a way of making sure she eats lunch— Syo had not so accidentally let it slip once that when she gets caught up on things, she has the tendency to skip meals. She bites her tongue on saying that it wasn’t necessary and instead pays for their meal because she can do that, she has the money to spare for that kind of thing: and she knows she doesn’t need to, but sometimes she feels like she needs to make it up to her before Komaru gets sick of their friendship.

And if it comes off like a date, that’s simply just coincidence.

When they return to the shore, Komaru drags her off to an area a little more secluded— she doesn’t really realize this at first, simply accepting her fate to follow along, but notices she can’t really hear anyone else. It helps her relax, feel like she doesn’t need to be so guarded.

( It doesn’t stop Touko from briefly complaining about how sandy she’s going to get because of this, which is annoying. And then immediately shuts up because Komaru offers to let her borrow her clothes, and she has nothing coherent that she can say to that. She eventually manages to spit out a no when it becomes obvious Komaru is waiting for her to say something )

“Well, okay then. You can always let me know if you change your mind.” She says, then, “Oooh, Touko-chan! It looks like there are tide pools over here!”

Komaru leaves her to pick out shells for them to use while she does the dirty work of constructing a sand castle. “So you won’t end up too sandy,” she explains. “And I trust your eyes to pick out nice shells.” She can’t really complain— although she almost makes a scathing comment about the fact that her eyes can't really be trusted when she wears glasses— and just keeps away from the waves for the most part. The water laps at her feet while she lingers around the tide pool, and then returns with the fruits of her search.

It’s...not an awfully constructed sand castle. Well, that’s probably more than a little generous to say. You know, if she was going to compare it to something kids made. As it stands ( or doesn’t, if Touko is being honest ), it’s probably not the most...concretely built and looks like part of the base might fall apart at any moment, but doesn’t say anything as she dumps an assortment of shells at her feet. And then pulls out a towel, so she can sit and watch her work. It feels like there’s another problem with this, but she can’t quite place what it is; it’s probably not important enough to point out.

Going back to the novel idea: maybe it’s not about a siren after all. Maybe it’s about a sea princess instead. A lonely girl drowning in the waters called home, in a lonely castle, and—

“Here you go!” Komaru plops a shell into her hand with no warning and beams at her. “It’s nice and pretty just like you, Touko-chan. So you should keep it!”

She definitely doesn’t almost tear up upon hearing that, swallowing thickly as she bites back a self-deprecating, Are you sure it’s not just ugly like me? Instead, she picks out a small shell from the pile and holds it out to her.

“...H-H-Here. Completely plain and, and average like you.” And cute, but that’s not important. Still, Komaru looks like she’s actually said something of worth as she throws her arms around her neck.

“Thank you! I’ll take good care of it.” She acts like she’s given her a houseplant or something of actual value, and not a shell.

Stiffly— because she still really doesn’t know how to respond in these kinds of moments, despite being friends for a few odd months now— Touko pats her back and mutters, “It’s not that big of a deal.”

“It is!” Komaru pouts at her. “It is to me. Isn’t that enough?”

She opens her mouth to point out that she’d really just been reciprocating a gesture, but the wave crashing over them interrupts the conversation— oh yeah, she thinks absently. That’d been the other problem that she’d noticed when Komaru had started building, but hadn’t thought it was a big enough issue to point out.

Once she processes that yes, that happens, her first thought is how cold she is now, soaked to the bone. Touko represses a shudder and tries to ignore the fact that she will need to shower later because salt water gets itchy. The second thing that occurs to her, in the midst of this, is that now Komaru is wailing into her shoulder.

“I should’ve been more careful, I’m sorry Touko-chan! You’re okay? You aren’t upset, are you? I thought th—” Touko leans forward to cut her off. Her lips taste like salt, and vaguely reminiscent of the sweet snack Komaru had coaxed her into splitting. She wants to bite down on her lip, a nervous habit, and pulls back before she can accidentally manage to bite the other’s lips instead. The implications of that are a lot more than she’s willing to handle right now, and averts her gaze as soon as she leans back, so she does not have to acknowledge her actions.

That doesn’t stop Komaru from throwing her arms around her a little too eagerly, a grunt at the impact of their bodies colliding. “Too m-much.” Touko manages to wheeze out, and before she can start apologizing again, follows with, “I’m not upset. I should probably just...just buy something overpriced from one of th-the nearby shops since our clothes are soaked now...”

She takes this in fairly good stride, jumping to her feet and pulling her up by her hands. “Can I pick out an outfit for you? It’ll be fun!”

Their ideas of fun are very different quite frankly, but considering Komaru won’t overthink her appearance like she does, thus meaning it’ll be more time efficient. And quite frankly, she’s tired, so she just agrees. On the condition they can just go take a nap in the car afterwards.

Touko doesn’t quite agree with Komaru’s fashion choices, but she picks out clothes that cover up everything that needs to be hidden, so she can’t exactly complain. Nor does she complain when they do less napping and more snuggling in the backseat. Which means on the ride back, Komaru ends up falling asleep on her shoulder. She thinks about how pretty she looks in the light of the sunset.

Maybe she can rethink her next novel being a romantic tragedy.

#tokomaru week 2021 #toukomaru #tokomaru #komaru naegi #toko fukawa #touko fukawa #danganronpa #* zhi writes

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murdertrialimagines · 5 years

Text

Breaking Down

“Can I please get how the SDR2 boys react to their s/o reaches their breaking point and just goes off on Monokuma/ the boys having to comfort them afterwards when they realize how stupid/dangerous going off was and break down. Sorry if that doesn't make sense, haha. Hope you're having a good one!”

I’m finally getting back into the writing mood! If I haven’t gotten to your request yet I am so sorry! I will hopefully get to it before 2022 soon! This is such a good request, I am so excited to write it! ^-^ Story under the tag~

Hajime Hinata

Hajime had found you halfway through your rant, following you angered yells to your cottage

He had thought you were being attacked, so he swung open your unlocked door, not caring to knock

He saw you, screaming down at something much shorter than you

Monokuma, he realizes, as he sees the ever so calm bear standing in front of you, a blank expression on his face

And you, the polar opposite. Screaming, yelling angri- wait were you crying?

He watched as you stood mere inches away from the bear, waving your arms and crying

“This is all your fault! Everything could be fine but no, you made everyone turn on each other! You gave us motives to kill people! Friends! Friends are killing friends and that isn’t right!”

Hajime watched as you raised your foot against the still calm bear, ready to stomp down on it.

He watched as your whole body shook and you lowered your leg, took a few steps back, and slid down the foot of the bed, collapsing into a pile of tears and hiccups

Monokuma silently snickered at you

“Puhuhu~ Maybe this is your gateway to despair? Will you kill someone, y/n, to get out? Or maybe-”

“Monokuma, get out.”

Y/n jumped at Hajime’s voice, looking up at him and furiously wiping her eyes

“Hajime! What are you doing here...?”

“I’m asking Monokuma to get out.” Hajime turned to the plush. “Please. Leave.”

With a snide remark Monokuma left, leaving the two teens in silence

Hajime walked over to you, sitting next to you. He pulled you into a hug, sitting silently as you squeezed him, letting everything out

“I’m such an idiot!” You gasped in air. “I almost broke the rules, I’m just-I’m just so angry! This was supposed to be happy, but all of my friends are dying... and I can’t do anything about it!” You put your head into Hajime’s chest, continuing to cry until you finally couldn’t anymore.

After a few minutes of silence Hajime heard you make a small noise, then slip down more

Then the snoring came

He softly picked you up with only a little bit of struggling

Laying you down on the bed, Hajime pulled the covers over his girlfriend before quietly leaving the cottage, making sure to lock the door behind himself

He sighed, replaying the whole scenario in his head

He could only hope that this will either end or get easier for you.

Nagito Komaeda

When you started telling off Monokuma during the second third investigation, Nagito was ecstatic

You were finally standing up to the greater evil after staying in the background for so long! Who wouldn’t be happy?

But when he saw the tears streaking your face, he felt something was off

You started shaking, voice straining and lip quivering. Monokuma only kept repeating that this is how things were.

“But this isn’t how things should be! It’s all your fault! I don’t want to believe in your hope and despair bullshit! I want to go home, with my friends!”

Nagito stood with the others investigating the crime scene, watching you scream and make gestures at the snickering bear

“You are a monster! I hate you!”

A few people shouted in surprise as you picked up the stool sitting on the stage, chucking it at Monokuma

You missed by mere inches, the stool clattering onto the floor with a thud

Everyone watched as Monokuma grew angry, Nagito moving closer to you as the bear flashed his claws out

“You’re lucky that missed, brat! But just be warned, even if it misses next time I wont hesitate to punish you!”

With that, the bear was gone, leaving a breathless you and your frightened friends

And that’s when the whimpering started

Everyone watched as your whole body shook, small noises painfully coming from you. You sank down to the floor holding your face in your hands to cover up the tears

Everyone wished they could give you privacy, but this was the crime scene, and a few of them hated to admit it but they were a tad worried that this could be a ploy to distract them

So you sat in the silence and cried, until a weight was placed on your shoulder

You quickly looked up, wiping away the burning tears in your eyes to see your boyfriend standing next to you, a soft smile on his face

You gave out a tiny yelp as you were suddenly picked up and carried out of the music venue

You had been taken back to Nagito’s cottage, where he laid the two of you down on the bed and let you cry into his jacket

“I just don’t want to be a part of his stupid game anymore...” You sniffled and sat up

“No one is happy here! Everyone we know is killing each other, how long until one of us is a target? I don’t think I can handle a situation like this...”

Nagito pulled you into a hug, squeezing you tight enough to make you feel like you were grounded to earth

“I promise you, the rest of us will beat Monokuma! Once we pick out this despaired student, everyone else’s hope will make sure no one will die here ever again! You just have to trust me, okay? Everyone will be fine.”

You hugged Nagito back, sighing into his chest

“I really hope you’re right.”

You let your eyes close, body leaning on your boyfriend

Nagito looked down to see you asleep, and smiling, got out of bed and pulled the covers over the you. You could nap until it was trial time, right?

He quietly left your room and quickly returned to the crime scene, looking for clues and ignoring the worried glances from everyone else

Still, he couldn’t help but worry

You were falling to despair, and he couldn’t have that.

Byakuya Togami

You didn’t want to believe that you panic this easily

Nothing had happened yet, no one dead, not even a motive set up by your captor

You had gotten to know everyone, quickly becoming close to the well known Togami

He was determined to keep everyone safe, so when he got a note that someone was going to die, he tried to hide it from everyone

But when you had come to his room to surprise him, you easily found the note hidden in a notebook

why is he so bad at hiding things

You found the note and completely flipped, going to Byakuya first to ask why he didn’t tell you

“I thought it would freak you out, and I guess I was right.”

After a very heated squabble (That left Mikan shook and Ibuki ecstatic), you stormed off from the park you went to your dorm and shouted for Monokuma, and like every time, he popped up out of nowhere

You demanded to know why he ruined your school trip, and put everyone on the island in danger

He just laughed, and said that it was, “For despair of course!”

You began to yell, stating that while you didn’t know everyone here very well, you knew they didn’t deserve to die like this.

The bear covered his ears, sing songing at you until you let out a harsh shriek, taking a book and raising it above your head to throw it at him

As you brought your arm down, a hand shot out and grabbed your wrist, forcibly causing the book to drop from your grasp

Your boyfriend, Togami, had seemingly gotten in undetected due to your loud one sided argument

“Y/n,” his grip on your wrist softened just a little. “Don’t be foolish. This is what he wants, you’re only playing into his plan.”

You snapped your head back to Monokuma, seeing he had disappeared via an unknown passageway

Togami tilted your head back to him, slowly releasing his grip on your arm, allowing it to fall to your side

As you stared into your boyfriend’s stern eyes, all you could do was well up with tears and cry, pulling him by his shirt into a hug

“I’m so sorry! I’m just so afraid that someone’s going to get hurt! I don’t want that, I want this to go back to the fun vacation it was!”

You couldn’t see it, but Togami’s eyes softened, and he raised his hand to softly rub circles into your back

“I know. You just need to be more careful with your emotions. As much as I hate it I can’t change our scenario. The best I- we - can do, is help everyone stay safe, lead them down the right path. Now, no more outbursts, okay? I can’t have you be killed for something so reckless.”

You let out a halfhearted laugh, pulling him closer and sighing. After a few more minutes of calm reassurance, you told your boyfriend you wanted to go to bed, and quietly said goodbye as he left

He was sad that you wouldn’t be going to the party tonight, but you needed rest, and the last thing you needed was to be around more hectic situations today

He’d have to make you a breakfast in bed when he checked up on you tomorrow.

Gundam Tanaka

You had been trapped in the fun-house for what seemed like weeks, even if it had only been a couple of days

Yet days without food and water really take a toll on the human body, and you were starting to envy Nekomaru for not being affected.

That is, until you overheard your boyfriend whispering his plans to his Devas

You had been asleep, or at-least partially, in the room that you and Gundam volunteered to share. You had not yet actually gotten out of bed or even started moving when you heard his voice explaining his devious plan to his friends

And you stayed like that, pretending to be asleep until you heard him wrap up the conversation. You felt him walk over and give you a kiss on your forehead, before finally leaving the room.

You jumped out of bed, taking a moment to regain your balance due to undernourishment, and yelled for Monokuma, not afraid of someone hearing you since you guys had the quiet room

As always, the bear popped out of nowhere.

“Monokuma arrives! Now, have you brought me here to beg for my mercy?! Because the mechanic already did that! No dice!” He gave you a twirl

What he didn’t expect was for you to pick up a pillow and throw it at him, himself easily dodging it

“Why are we here?! This isn’t a motive, you’re forcing someone to kill just for food! You’re a monster!”

You picked up more items, the lamp, a book, the clock off the wall, chucking them at your captor, who seemed to make this into a game of one sided dodge-ball

All he did was dodge and laugh at you, fueling your anger until you could barely pick your arm up anymore and your throat felt hoarse from ranting

“You’re lucky your emotions are good for the viewers! If I have found you even a teensy bit more boring, I’d have you sliced up!” He went to the door and opened it, just as your boyfriend tried to open it from the outside

Monokuma waddled away, ignoring your softened demands for him to come back

Gundam stood only for a second in the doorway, wondering what just happened, before he ran over to you and grabbed you by your shoulders

“My immortal Y/n, what happened?!” He looked you over once, twice, before staring into your eyes, his brimming with worry. “Did he hurt you? Did he try to give you another motive?! Because I promise you don’t-”

“I know what your plan is.”

His whole body froze, as if he had accidentally cast a frost curse on himself

“What?”

“I heard you” You took his hands off of your shoulders. “I wasn’t sleeping. You really plan to kill someone to escape?”

“It’s not that simple Y;n, you of al people should know that.”

“And what happens to Nekomaru, huh?! He just got a second chance at life and you’re going to take it away? That’s not something you get to pick and choose!”

You begin to storm out when he calls your name

“I’m doing it for you! I want you to get out of here, all of you, alive! It’s a sacrifice I’m willing to make. I...I don’t plan on surviving the trial, I’ll only use it to help strengthen your deduction skills. If I don;t do this, no one lives.”

His voice, barely above a whisper at the end of his speech, broke your heart.

“Oh, Gundam, I am so sorry, I shouldn’t have yelled at you! I’m just so scared, and I’ve lost so many people and now I’m losing you too, I don’t know what to do-”

Strong yet shaky arms pulled you into a firm chest, and you relished in the warmth of your boyfriend

“When are you going to do it?” Your voice, barely audible

“Tonight. It can’t wait. I’m so sorry Y/n. I almost let Monokuma get to you.”

You hugged him back, whole body screaming to shut down at the effort you just exerted.

“Lay with me. At least until I fall asleep.. Please.”

“Of course my love.”

Kazuichi Souda

Kazuichi was coming up the stairs to the dining hall when he heard you

“I wish you were dead!” A large crash was enough for him to bolt up the stairs in record time, afraid you were in danger, or worse, the next blackened

When he reached the top all he saw was a mess, a table once full of food now flipped over, and a laughing Monokuma

And of course, you on top of all the spilled food, what seemed to be punch and ketchup staining your clothes

“Wh-wha-what the heck happened?!” Kazuichi rushed over and grabbed your arms, hoisting you out of the mess

Monokuma laughed louder

This only fueled your anger, causing you to pull from your boyfriend’s grip and reel back your leg to kick the bear, before taking a breath and lowering it, walking past both him and Kazuichi

“Let’s go, he wasn’t worth the effort.”

A little saddened by the fact that he didn’t get food, Kazuichi lagged behind for a few seconds before realizing that you were walking out of the building, and hustled to follow you

“H-hey Y/n! What was that all about? You’re a mess!” He wiped some bread crumbs off of your shoulder

“He...tried to give me a motive.”

This stopped Kazuichi in his tracks. “What?! What was it?!”

You turned around towards the mechanic, arms folding across your body. “I didn’t let him say it. The second I heard the word ‘motive’ come from his mouth I flipped. I mean, we’ve already lost four people, almost five! How long is this going to go on? Is someone really going to sacrifice everyone, or will everyone be murdered by then? I don’t want to find out, I promise I’ll kill whoever is behind this myself!”

You swiftly turned on your heels, walking away again, but only managed to get a few steps away when you were pulled off of your feet from behind

Realizing this was a hug, you spoke up.

“Uh, Souda? Can you put me down?”

“Nope!” He somehow effortlessly pulled you into a bridal style carry. “We’re gonna have a relaxation day, to forget about that stupid bear and his dumb motives! Nothing but the best movies and candy for my girl!”

He began walking, and in defeat, you sighed and sunk deeper into his arms

Could you ask for any better stress reliever?

Teruteru Hanamura

You and Teruteru had been cooking and cleaning for the party. You had volunteered to help.

He briefly left the room to put some tableware in the party room

You thought nothing of it, until he came back clearing shaken up

Asking what happened, he refused to answer, causing you to give him a stern glare that frightened him and turned him on

He gave in, telling you about how he saw Nagito place a knife under the table, and tell him his plan

You remained calm. Nothing would happen under your watch, and you assured Teruteru of that. He seemed relieved

Yet, that relief turned out to be a lie when Byakuya’s body had been found, not killed the way Nagito had intended.

You saw how panicked your boyfriend was, and instantly knew what happened

But you continued to help out, only mildly panicking when they found new evidence that could point to Nagito being innocent

Nobody caught the side glances you two shared. You were afraid he thought you were going to give him up, yet on the same hand you were afraid he thought you were going to help him.

All the turmoil and frustration built up until you finally excused yourself from the building, stating that the body and smell of blood were making you sick

Nobody batted an eye, and the second you were outside you punched the door, cursing under your breath

And that’s when you heard him

“What’s wrong?” His voice changing pitch halfway through as if you were a kid. “Afraid that you’ll have to choose between your life and his?”

You turned around to face Monokuma, looking down at him in anger

And than you started crying

“This is all your fault!” You pointed childishly at him. “You planted this idea in Nagito’s mind! And now Teru is paying for it! What did we do to deserve to be here, with these insane people?! We deserve a normal life!”

The door behind you was suddenly pushed open, cutting off your speech. You swung around, afraid a confession was just heard by one of your classmates

To your relief, Teruteru walked out slowly

“What is heaven’s name is going on? Y/n, are you alright? He didn’t...hurt you...did he?”

You turned back to Monokuma to continue berating him to see that he was gone, and began sputtering out an explanation when you sighed and just let the tears fall

“I don’t know what to do, Teru!” Your voice turned into a low whisper. “I don’t want to die, but I don’t want you to die either! This is all such a mess...”

Teruteru pulled you into a hug which you gladly accepted, enjoying the short silence

“Uh, Teruteru? Y/n?” There was a voice from the doorway. “The trial is going to start soon, and I don’t mean to interrupt your heartfelt moment but we want to have one last talk with everyone.”

“Thanks Hajime, we’ll be there in a minute.” When the talent-less boy left, you let go of your boyfriend

“Y/n, I promise, everything is going to be okay. Just trust me, okay? And follow my lead, I have a plan.”

You gave him that soft smile he loves and squeezed his hand before walking back into the building

He stood there, watching as the door closed behind you

You didn’t know it yet, but he had made up his mind

He wasn’t going to let anything happen to you

Nekomaru Nidai

You couldn’t believe it

An hour ago things were going fine

and now, an ambulance was taking away Nekomaru, who had saved Akane

You couldn’t help but blame her for this, but you didn’t want to take it out on her

So you took it out on Monokuma

You immediately marched up to the bear, grabbing him and shaking him

“Why the hell did you do that?! He didn’t do anything!”

You saw Monokuma’s eye glow red, but ignored it and continued to berate him

“You have no right to keep us here like...like prisoners! Everyday we fear for our lives, and we have a good reason to! it’s all because of you!”

A sudden sweep of wind was felt as Monokuma slashed mere centimeters from your chest

You let Monokuma go, dropping him into the sand

“You’re lucky we can’t have two participants MIA, or I’d have sliced you to ribbons! God, you’re just like your dumb boyfriend!” And with that, he disappeared

After it happened you avoided everyone who tried to talk to you, vouching to stay in your room and only leave when you needed to eat

You didn’t even want to go to the new island that opened up, even when Ibuki broke the lock to your room while you were sleeping

It wasn’t until one evening you had a knock on your door

“Go away, Ibuki. I don’t want to go.”

“A-ah actually, it’s Kazuichi!’

Kazuichi? He never talked to you during your stay here, let alone after the incident

Curious, you got out of bed and unlocked the door, opening it a crack

“What do you need?”

To your surprise, a small trinket was thrust through the opening of the door, you grabbing it on instinct

“I just thought you would like it...I mean until Nekomaru comes back!”

Before you could question Kazuichi he shut the door himself, leaving you with the small device

Looking at it, you immediately noticed the resemblance to Nekomaru, looking like a small silver version of him

Feeling your chest tighten, you flipped the trinket over, noticing a small button

Pressing it, you felt the toy come to life, eyes glowing a dull yellow and the arms on it slowly moving. It looked at you, arms thrown into the air

“Y/n! How great it is to see you! How is my favorite girl doing?”

“H...how are you talking?”

“Kazuichi programmed me to be exactly like the real Nekomaru you know! I want to keep you company until the real me comes back!”

You finally let the tears flow, clutching the small Nekomaru to your chest as you laid back down on your bed

“I miss you so much! I don’t know what to do!”

“It’s okay Y/n, I promise I’ll be back soon.”

You turned off the light, letting your toy Nekomaru’s eyes give you some light. Finally running out of tears, you fell asleep

“Goodnight, Y/n.”

Fuyuhiku Kuzuryu

You couldn’t believe it

Peko, your best friend, killed someone because your boyfriend ordered her to

Mahiru was dead, and this plan of yours had failed halfway through the class trial

You tried to hold Fuyuhiko back from running into the execution, but he wouldn’t listen

And you watched, as you saw both of your friends die right in front of you

That is, until Mikan gave you the hopeful news that he was still breathing, but critically injured

He was taken away by Monokuma, and you turned your attention to the bear

“What the hell Monokuma?! He wasn’t the blackened!”

The bear gave his signiture laugh, staring you down

“But isn’t it despairing? Especially for Peko, who believed her last moments alive were spent murdering one of her best friends. But it was also for all three of you, who all worked together to commit a crime!”

“Fuck you!” You took a step towards the bear. “I’ll kill you! You are nothing but evil and that should never be allowed, ever! I’ll make sure your last moments are by my hand!”

You tried to get closer to Monokuma but a hand was placed on your shoulder, and you turned around to face Chiaki

“What?”

“You’re giving him what he wants. Stop.”

With a growl, you wiped her hand off your shoulder and walked away

You left the trial alone for the first time, having both of the people you cared about stripped away in a matter of minutes

You stayed in your room even as everyone else investigated the new island

Until one day you heard furious knocking on your door, a voice calling your name through the door

Sighing, you threw your blanket over your head and dug deeper into the bed

“Y/n, we found a hospital, Fuyuhiko is there!”

Within seconds you were outside, still in your pajamas, running to the island as Mikan called after you to wait up

You found the hospital and swung open the door to each room until finally you found a room filled with people all standing around a bed

“Fuyuhiko!” You pushed through the wall of people to the bed, breath catching at seeing your boyfriend’s state

“Hey, Y/n.”

“I want to give you a hug but I don’t wan’t to hurt you.”

You saw him give out an airy laugh, slightly wincing at what you presumed was pain

You then noticed everyone shuffling out of the room, and soon it was just you two

“I’m sorry for scaring you, Y/n.”

You walked closer to his bed, sitting on the edge of it

“She’s really gone.”

“Yeah.”

You felt your lip quiver, and soon your whole body was wracked with sobs

“This is ll our fault! We caused her death!”

You felt a hand on your side, seeing Fuyuhiko facing the window

“It’s my fault, not yours. i shouldn’t have gotten so mad. I promise I’m going to get us out of here, for our sake. And not by killing anyone. I want the rest of us to get out for the sake of everyone who’s died so far.”

He looked into your eyes and you swear you saw tears in his eye

After a moment of silence you cleared your throat, standing up

“I should go back to my dorm, it’s getting late. You need to rest and I’m sure Mikan would flip if she saw you weren’t”

You began to stand up when you felt him grab your wrist

“Stay with me, please.”

With a sigh you turned back around, carefully climbing into the hospital bed with your boyfriend

You let him lay his head on your chest, listening as he slowly fell asleep.

“Goodnight Fuyuhiko”

Me? back from the dead? It’s less likely than you think! Seriously I apologize for the two months (or more) of complete radio silence! I’m trying to get back in the groove and complete the remaining asks I have (about 7?) These last two imagines are terrible, sorry Nekomaru and Fuyuhiko :(

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marinerainbow · 4 years

Note

Hi! I have a Darkwing request! In the show, there is one clip where Gos needs to get in bed, but she won’t. So Drake chases her, until he gets distracted. It was such a cute moment! I was wondering if you could write just a small amount of family fluff, where Drake is chasing Gos around the house, while Launchpad watches, possibly cheering them both on. It’s ok if you don’t! No pressure! That moment is just really cute!

EEEE!!!! I DIDNT EXPECT A REQUEST THIS EARLY!!!! THANK YOU!!!

Anyways, I better calm down so you can (hopefully) enjoy a drabble! I'm still new to writing so hopefully it wont suck too much.

"GOSALYN!"

The red headed girl slid under the coffee table, her father jumped over it.

Launchpad was standing off to the side as he watched his two best friends chase each other around the house. He knew well by now it was best to stay out of the way when they got like this.

"C'mon 'DW!" The pelican called out after dodging the two speeding avians, "Maybe it wouldn't be too bad if 'Gos stayed up for a little longer?" He asked, trying to reach a compromise.

"Yeah dad!" Of course Gosalyn would agree with that, "It's only 10:30! I'm twelve now so I can stay up a bit longer!"

Drake may have been a crime fighting hero, but if there was one person in the entire world who could give him a run for his money, it was most definitely his daughter. He may have been fighting criminals for years, but Gosalyn was small, a hockey player, and spirited.

"Staying up past your bedtime is bad for your health!" Drake exclaimed after emerging from the closet he crashed into, "When I say it's time for bed young lady, I mean it!"

Drake had almost caught Gosalyn, before she leapt out of his grasp and over the lazy boy. Exasperated, he called out to his trusty sidekick, "Launchpad!"

Launchpad jumped out of the way just in time before either duck rammed into him, "Well uh, you know 'Gos, your dad's right! Not getting enough sleep can make you tired all the time and you cant focus on work, you could get bags under your eyes, maybe you should go to be-"

The crash and frustrated yell that was heard from the kitchen told Launchpad that they were all gonna be here for awhile.

The short duck sluggishly walked down the stairs, he looked like he had just ran a marathon!

Which considering who he was chasing around the house only an hour ago, he probably did.

Gosalyn had finally tuckered out after... a few hours or so of running, hiding, and sneaking out of bed. Drake was finally able to tuck her in, sing her her lullaby- despite how much she claimed she was too old, Drake could see the smile form on Gosalyn's face when he offered to sing it to her. Only minutes ago was she resisting bedtime, but now she was sound asleep.

Drake practically collapsed onto the couch, Launchpad was waiting for him with a glass of water, which Drake wasted no time in chugging.

Launchpad chuckled a bit seeing his friend, he would have been more than happy to help but Drake insisted on getting Gosalyn to bed himself, "Looks like 'Gos finally hit the hay huh?"

Drake looked like he was ready to pass out himself, he didnt respond so Launchpad continued, "Looks like your battery could use a little recharge too! Hehe."

"What? No I'm fine!" The duck claimed, raising a single finger in the air, forcing himself to stand and make a heroic pose, "My spirited daughter is no match for the terror that flaps in the night!"

Launchpad resisted the urge to remind Drake that Gosalyn had actually threw him off her trail without leaving the house.

Instead, he stood up and stretched, "So DW, we got any crime fighting to catch up on?"

At this, the mallard sunk back on the couch, looking dejected and frustrated at the same time, "No! Not a single crime tonight! Since when dies a city not have crime!?"

Nevermind the fact that this has happened a couple times.

Launchpad offered Drake a reassuring smile, "Hey, that means you can get some rest! From the looks of things you need a nap after that chase, hehe!"

Drake gave Launchpad a slight glare, he knew that the pelican meant well, but how could he rest when his city could be in trouble? "Oh please LP, hasn't being my sidekick taught you anything? St. Canard is never 'at peace'! In fact, I bet there will be a robbery right now!" Than he clicked on the radio that was sitting on the lamp table.

Nothing to report.

"Uh, DW-"

"Ok, ok, ok, so maybe the broadcaster is late!" Drake exclaimed, "Theres no problem in checking!"

Launchpad sighed as he watched his friend head over to the two chairs that would lead to his secret lair. Sitting on one, he looked expectantly at Launchpad, "C'mon LP!"

Launchpad stood up and walked towards Drake, but he didnt sit down in the other chair, "C'mon DW," he started, "It's late! And Gosalyn tuckered you out! Theres no harm in taking a power nap!"

Drake shook his head as he looked at Launchpad scoldingly, "Launchpad, like I told you, imperfectly Fi..."

As if on cue, Drake let out a massive yawn.

...

Launchpad crossed his arms and quirked a brow at Drake but he still smiled, "That looks pretty tired to me."

Drake crossed his arms, not unlike a child who didnt get their way, "I'm not tired!"

Launchpad shook his head, not in a dissapointed manner, and said, "Drake, you havent been getting much sleep lately, you should take this chance!"

Logically speaking, Drake knew Launchpad was right. He had to tell Gosalyn that every other night. But st the same time, he wasnt a twelve year old, he was St. Canards hero! He couldnt just sleep now!

Even so, Drake couldnt deny the way his eyes felt droopy, or how it felt like the chair he was sitting in felt like it was pulling him into itself. Not to smother him, but to lull him to sleep.

Of course, no chair- no matter how comfy it may be- was no match for the great Darkwing Duck! He would rise above this bout of exhaustion! He would show the world that nothing could keep the terror that flaps in the night down!

However, he should have made that resolve sooner, for now the hero of St. Canard had succumbed to the clutches of sleep.

...

'Wow,' the pelican thought, 'I didnt think that would work!'

At first, Launchpad considered carrying Drake upstairs to his own bedroom, but than he remembered that with Drakes instincts, he would be wide awake and alert if someone touched him.

So instead, Launchpad quickly, but quietly, got a spare blanket from the linen closet and carefully placed it over his friend. He wanted to grab a pillow too, but he would have to have moved Drakes head to fit it under him.

When he made sure Drake was snug, Launchpad sat back down on the couch, leaning his head against his palm as he felt his own eyes get droopy.

Launchpad would have gone to his own bedroom to sleep, but before he knew it, he had fallen against the couch, already snoring peacefully.

End.

I meant to get this done sooner, but I was having a hard time getting the scenes in my head and portraying them into words, sorry for the wait!

I... I dont know if it's just my own paranoia, but I feel like the ending was bland. I coukdnt think of anything else to put in.

But anyways, I would VERY much appreciate constructive criticism! Dont be shy!

Again, thank you so much for requesting! Have a good day!

#Darkwing Duck #Drake Mallard #Gosalyn Mallard #Launchpad McQuack #family #fluff #my own post #writing #i meant for this to ve friends looking out fir each other #but i can understand why anyone coukd see this as shipping.#i hope you enjoy!

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justhcldon · 4 years

Text

the jennie effect

Genre: angst

Pairing: Fem!Reader x jennie

Word Count: 1.3k

scenario: “you know, there was a time i would’ve died for you.”

a/n: fair warning, i’m not proud of the quality of this )): and i do apologize about the back and forth of first and third person. i will work on that for future writings and will do it to your guys’ preference

“you make it painfully obvious.” you heard your friend jisoo say from the other side of the table of where you two were sitting. “are you still waiting for her?” she sighed, stirring her drink with the straw that was sitting in it. “no, i’m over it.” you sat back, letting you phone rest on the table, though, you still looked at the screen waiting for something to come up. “it’s been two month y/n.. i think it’s time to get over it. after all she did to you..” she trailed off looking at you, a small frown on her face. she was obviously a very concerned friend, she never really liked jennie in the first place as she was a renowned player. “jisoo, please. stop talking about her. i said what i said, i’m over it and her.” you lied.

jisoo nodded, her frown remained as she looked down at her own phone. “do you maybe want to come over to my place tonight?” she looked back up at you hopefully, though your eyes still stayed on the phone, as if you were burning holes through it. “it’s been lonely without lisa, she’s in thailand until friday and honestly, your unhealthy obsession concerns me.” her stern voice pulled you out of your little trance. “there’s no obsession.” you pulled your phone into your lap. “yeah, no. i didn’t know she was away. but i think i’ll be able to.” you nodded, biting down on your bottom lip. jisoo frown finally turned into her usually bright smile. she half wanted to stage an intervention for you and half wanted to make sure that you didn’t do anything stupid like cry for the millionth time of your ex jennie.

she knew it was going to be impossible though, she had never seen you so hung up on a girl ever since you met. though, notoriously, the jennie effect had taken over the hearts of those who had the pleasure of dating her, that of course if they truly loved her and not just for her money or good looks.

“y/n, promise me one thing while you’re here. please don’t do you know what.” jisoo basically begged as you both walked into the front door of her apartment. “what?” you asked, completely oblivious. “... yeah you’re right. give me your phone.” jisoo sternly asked holding her hand out. “wait -- i promise i wont do it.” you begged as if you were a child, but you are indeed, a full grown adult. “relax, i’ll put mine away too. like a detox.” she shrugged, her shoulders, “i heard those were good for you.” you pouted and handed her your phone.

actually, jisoo was right. it was nice going through most of the night not craving to see her. jennie... how can i forget her. she’s not like everyone says she is.. she’s one of the most caring people in the world. the only girl that could make your heart skip a beat. she was -- she was perfect. until she...

you felt tears threaten to fall from your eyes. jisoo was fast asleep so you didn’t stop them. it felt nice to let it all out, though, for all the wrong reasons. you trembled as you clutched onto the blanket that was lisa’s that jisoo let you borrow. ‘jennie why? you said you loved me, why would you leave me?’ you thought, gentle sobs coming from you mouth, gentle enough for jisoo not to hear? we can only hope so.

it was to the point where you got angry of the thought of it. it was all confusing to you. all the romantic moments, all the times she said it was you and only you. all the times she said she was going to change ... gone.

you finally made it to dawn, the sun now slowly rising up in the horizon. that’s all you needed, you finally passed out.

“wake up !!” you felt a pillow roughly thrown at your face and you shot up in your spot. “how late were you up last night ?? i swear it took me 10 minutes just to wake you up.” jisoo hovered over you, her eyebrows raised slightly. “listen, i had the random energy boost to wake up and make breakfast, or else, i would be there with you. you should be at least a little thankful.” she smiled and you couldn’t help but return it.

all in all, you were very thankful for jisoo, although, she is the type to either be overprotective or pretend she doesn’t care, she was always there for you and that’s what you appreciated most about her. she was the only one who could successfully take your mind off of -- “what are you thinking about ??” jisoo interrupted your thought before shoving more food into her mouth in which you couldn’t help but laugh at her. “nothing, when we’re done i think i’m going to head home, i have stuff to do.” you shrugged and jisoo nodded understandably.

it didn’t take long for you to get home, jisoo offered to drive you since she was the one you picked you up yesterday but you politely declined. you argued that walking was healthier anyways, plus, you needed the time to clear your thoughts. the moment you walked into your apartment you were already tired.

you took your phone once more out of your pocket, looking for any little sign of hope, but of course, it wasn’t coming. jennie wouldn’t do that. she’s moved on didn’t she? how come i can’t? you anger started to build up again. the anger quickly turned into sadness and the sadness turned into numbness.

next thing you new you were on your way down the road, in the nearest convenience store, you just wanted to get lost somewhere perhaps. find someone nice, finally move on from the girl that changed and ruined your life.

it was all a good plan until -- “oh my god, i’m so sorry.” you quickly say as you collided into a stranger, “no it’s okay, i wasn’t looking at where i was going.” that voice -- it was oddly familiar. the both of you looked up, eyes meeting. in that moment you swear you felt your eyes burning holes into her skull. “jennie.” you took a deep and shaky breath. the girl who broke your heart two months ago. jennie let a sigh fall from her parted lips. “y/n.. long time no see huh?” she her face again just made you want to lash out on her but everything was holding you back right now. “can we talk?” you asked, quickly regretting your words as you didn’t want to know what she had to say about you. “y/n, i don’t think it’s a good idea.” jennie said, if you were being honest she looked sad, though, who knew if she actually held that emotion. “it will only take a second.” you continued on, not sure why you were doing this, you already accepted defeat and embarrassment. jennie nodded, taking you to the side.

“please just tell me why.” at this point you were acting on your emotions at this point. you needed answers. just once. “i knew it.” jennie looked down, she couldn’t meet your eyes. “just say it. you said you loved me. you lied ?? just admit it.” you said shaking. “i could never lie to you, y/n. i loved you. i loved you a lot. you know, there was a time i would’ve died for you. but you knew going into that relationship that we wouldn’t last. did i want to change for you? yes. but we both knew it was never going to happen. i saved you the time a trouble. you can’t handle me for the rest of your life. i did you a favor. you deserve to be happy. i’m not able to do that for you.” jennie let out a shaky breath. “i’m sorry, y/n.” you couldn’t say anything, you just nodded. she started to turn and walk away, she looked at you one last time before walking out the door.

jennie kim.

#jennie kim #blackpink imagines #blackpink angst #blackpink scenarios #blackpink

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fistsoflightning · 4 years

Text

23: i wanna know what you’re doing tonight

prompt: shuffle || masterpost || other fills || ao3 mirror

word count: 2796

Does writing music based on things your friend said count as flirting?

It’s AU brainworm time everybody >:3 This “main street” AU is basically balefire/mom squad’s ‘what if we made a bunch of small town romance ideas and mashed them together’ which turns out to be a lot more hilarious than it should be. Featuring (chat) cameos from @windupcatgirl @to-the-voiceless @windupnamazu @verbroil and @winduphaurchefant because why not. Title from this song!

For all intents and purposes, Zaya enjoys autumn; summer heat cooling off into a pleasant chill, the sunlight that lingers enough to keep warm in the early weeks. The trees may die, but in doing so they grow colorful, and though the flowers in A’dewah’s little shop don’t do the same he changes which ones are on display to match better with the tree outside. It does mean Krile—and more recently, one G’raha Tia—have to return to Mor Dhona, their studies resuming, but it’s not like they can’t chat.

It does, however, mean the return of autumn showers—and they don’t even hate rain that much—and fortunately Zaya managed to forget their poncho just as the first big storm pulled in. Mor Dhona wasn’t that far of a drive away, really, just two or three hours on a road Zaya had taken enough times before, but in the middle of a rainstorm? Without a rainproof coat?

Well, at least Miss Eldfalk’s documents are staying dry in the carrier at Zaya’s back, even if the chill of the rain has already soaked through the wool of their jacket and started to dampen their shirt by the time they pull into the parking garage just a block or so away from the museum waiting on Sjanna’s delivery. Thankfully the inn is just an elevator away and not on the other side of the road; they should keep a spare poncho or umbrella in the motorcycle luggage next time.

Zaya pushes the thought aside as they slip off their helmet and the phone in their pocket begins to buzz about, safely tucked within the canvas pocket of their overalls and hopefully not just as soaked as their hands are. Wiping their palms and fingers on the inside of their legs, they unzip the soggy jacket and tug out the borrowed phone to see the numerous Linkcord notifications—of course.

Leaning onto the front of their motorcycle, Zaya hardly takes a second glance up to the storm just out the window behind them as a few taps and a swipe unlocks the screen, opening up to the Linkcord discussion of the day (night? Night.)

[ text channel #mom-panic; 9:47 PM ]

banned for baby crimes zayaaaaaa i miss you Hanami Hagane You are just saying that because you have no one to drag around the fair. Hanami Hagane Besides, they will be back tomorrow afternoon. banned for baby crimes no i’m not!! that’s too long!! i brought ihget but he’s being stupid and wont ride the ferris wheel with me :’) banned for baby crimes i cant find lunya and reese either so now im stuck with himbo here local breadhead we’re just by the cotton candy stand! lunya’s waving at you ;) banned for baby crimes OH THERE YOU ARE HOW DID I MISS YOU hold on i gotta grab the chad first local breadhead 😊 banned for baby crimes but i really miss zaya even if they’re just over in mor dhona.. so does ochir he- i- banned for baby crimes has anyone seen ochir ihget lost him in the crowd- this says zaya 😱 reese is in pieces :O( YOU WHAT?? local breadhead oh dear lmao reese is in pieces :O( i hope no one tries to take him :( reese is in pieces :O( lunya says if your stupid catboy loses zaya’s bird shes not going to make you two the mini versions of zaya’s courier hat banned for baby crimes IT SNTO MY FAULT ZAYA JR HERE WAS BEIGNB ROODY ADN LOOKED AWAY NOOOOOOO,,, Hanami Hagane Why bring the bird with you, anyways. Zaya lent you Ochir’s cage. banned for baby crimes he made sad noises when ihget n i were abt to leave,,,,

The chat quickly devolves from there into Sati panicking about Zaya’s violet-backed starling going rogue and everyone else jumping in and hells, they are not in the mood to manage that. Drops of water fall from their chin onto the screen; they hastily wipe it away before shoving the phone back into their pocket and hop off their motorcycle. A few quick movements with the key round their wrist opens up the luggage attachment with the satchel of papers inside—blessedly dry, thank the gods they splurged on a decent one instead—which they swing over their shoulder as they start walking to the elevator.

A dripping trail has probably followed them all the way from the parking garage to the lobby, they think in passing as they stop at the front desk, waiting for the receptionist to turn around. Their hand goes to fiddle with the small keychain on their keyring as they wait, still dripping their own personal puddle around them.

“Hello, hello! Welcome to the Seventh Heaven, how may I—” Tataru turns around, small smile widening into a sunny bright grin when she sees them, even if they’re dripping all over the lobby. “Zaya! Good to see you back again; need a room for the night, then?”

A curt nod (that sends water droplets onto the surface of Tataru’s desk) is all she needs to hop off her stepping stool and onto the ground, waving Zaya along before she cheerily marches down the halls with a keyring jingling in her hand. Not even the gloomy rainstorm thundering outside can put a damper on her mood, it seems.

“Payment for the night’s stay may be given in the form of Gannet Bay gossip, alright?” Tataru unlocks the door to a nicely decorated room with a quick turn of her hand, playfully winking over her shoulder as she does. Her violet eyes glimmer almost the same as Lunya’s, really; filled with teasing joy and secrets. “I’ve heard from the grapevine about a certain catboy quite enjoying the atmosphere out there, now!”

She steps aside as the door swings fully open, giving a little curtsy, and Zaya gives her an energetic thumbs-up as they walk past her into the room, pleasantly warm and bright from the small fireplace in the corner of the room, banked low so its amber glow only flickers across the floor.

First things first: getting out of all the soggy clothing they’re wearing.

They hang their satchel (papers still neatly bound inside, good) on the wall hook by the door and haphazardly strip off their shoes and socks, followed by the once-warm and fluffy jacket as they look about for spare hangers.

Ah; Tataru always has their back. Hanging on the end of the bed are a set of four or so hangers, which Zaya snaps up with ease, carefully slipping the wooden hangers through sleeves and loops as they finally get to their undershirt—blissfully dry, if not a bit cold. Their overalls aren’t all that damp on the top but are more than soaked the further down the legs one looks… hopefully that dries quick enough.

Just as they finish kicking their ankle-high boots to the mat by the door, a quiet yet unfamiliar chime fills the room, and Zaya nearly thinks to check outside the door for the noise when the light vibrations trickle up their arm. The soft ringtone—someone humming along to a muffled orchestra, maybe; not the smartest of choices for a calling ringtone—grows louder as Zaya stares down at their collection of soggy clothing.

...Alright, second: answer the damn phone?

Zaya nearly fumbles all the hangers to grab their phone from the pockets of their overalls and accept the call, only briefly reading the name from the screen before his face pops up in its place. White hair and a charming grin, perhaps—that is, to anyone who hadn’t heard the words that fall from his mouth like gentle rain.

(Okay, well, maybe that just helped. Zaya wasn’t going to say that out loud to anybody regardless; it didn’t matter what they thought of Thancred’s charms. Probably.)

“...I’d say ‘good evening’ but I wager you are having anything but just by the water dripping off your hair,” Thancred says in lieu of greeting, his voice warm and surrounded by the distant sounds of the usual fall fair attractions. “So instead, I’ll say this; is that old phone serving you well enough?”

Zaya nods; given, this one’s a bit clunky, but the lightness of their actual tomephone may have indirectly been the reason that they’d dropped it while helping out around town and eventually cracked the screen. At least Thancred had offered to lend them his old one for the trip to Mor Dhona in case, just on the off chance someone truly needed their attention, like for lost birds and ways to punish a distracted idiot.

They set it on the table, the front camera facing towards the window as Zaya steps into frame, still fiddling with the hangers in their hands. Mor Dhona may be covered in a gloomy storm, but the golden lights from the buildings around Revenant’s Toll Square still glow brightly in the distance, a refuge from the biting torrent of cold rain.

“Survived the water,” they sign slowly, stepping closer to the fireplace in a subtle attempt to dry off a bit quicker, almost fumbling when their fingers stiffen, chilled to the bone. Thancred laughs, the bridge of his nose crinkling just a tad like how it does when he can’t stop cracking himself up. “Still has power, too.”

“Glad to see it has survived, then.” There’s a slight pause where Thancred stops talking (and laughing) to catch his breath, the small silence filled with Zaya leaving frame to go hang their soaked clothes over the fireplace to hopefully dry for tomorrow. When they come back to look at the camera, a kaleidoscope of colorful lights dance across Thancred’s face, some colorfully lit attraction before him leaving his platinum blonde hair awash with a rainbow of color. “The storm there should burn off by early dawn, though; hopefully you will not have to drag yourself home dripping wet from your business in Mor Dhona.”

Ah, good. They yawn as discreetly as someone who’s on a video call can—which is to say, not very, and a rosy flush must spread on their face when Thancred chuckles under his breath, low and steady.

“Forgive me,” he says next, voice lowered as if he were disturbing someone’s rest. “I must be keeping you from collapsing; I can’t imagine a drive in the freezing rain and getting soaked is the least draining way to spend one’s night.”

In-between stretching out the tense muscles in their back and neck do they grunt some noise of agreement, the strain flaring momentarily before melting into a drowsy warmth that drips down the ridges of their spine. Really, spending time in Mor Dhona at all is a draining waste of time—when you make your home in somewhere as vibrantly quiet as Gannet Bay it’s hard to want the big city over the comforts of familiarity, of knowing each shop and its owners personally, of being able to help them all and see their smiles.

At least they can see one person from home, now.

“ ‘S fine,” they mumble softly, heart stuttering when Thancred’s smile widens at the sound of their voice. Part of them wishes they were there to playfully elbow him for that—it’s not that rare tha they’ll speak—and the other part of them they are desperately trying to ignore. “How’s th’ fair.”

“Wonderful.” He looks up for a moment as Zaya wraps themselves in the bed coverings, presumably to whatever booth or stall is shining down on his face with fluorescent lights. “Ryne’s had a wonderful time, I think. I haven’t seen your friends around, but would you like to hear about the odd variety of attractions around?”

Zaya hums sleepily, waiting for him to continue. They hardly even notices when their eyelids grow heavy and their fingers return to their usual warmth, entranced enough by the fond familiarity of Thancred’s voice as they drift off to sleep.

…

The next morning, Zaya wakes with the dawn that rises across Mor Dhona, the bright golden sunrise sneaking through the cracks of the large curtains to tickle their bedsheets. The cityscape outside the window is covered by low autumn morning fog, glimmering as the sunlight dances over it and the puddles the passing storm had left behind in its wake. Outside, it is nearly silent, only a few passing cars and hardly any pedestrians around when Zaya does their morning stretches by the window.

As is always with a trip into the city, they fall into an easy routine; wake with the sun, stretch out whatever they can without breaking something, get dressed and hastily grab everything before rushing out the door, wave Tataru a rushed but genuine goodbye. Trot down to the parking garage, check the bike, throw the satchel back into the luggage on the back as they slip on their stereo cuffs and flick through playlists on their phone before going to get breakfast at the Bismarck—

Zaya pauses their flick-tap scroll through the playlists on their phone when they catch one with their name. Odd; Thancred did always have the habit of making his friends their own personal playlists, but they’d like to think they didn’t give him that much of a read on their tastes just yet.

Shrugging to no one but themselves, they tap on the playlist and let it begin to play as they slide the phone back into their overall pocket, starting up their motorcycle’s engine just as the song begins to play.

They stop.

[ DM history with @superbolide; 7:36 AM]

zayaya ❓ zayaya 🌅😊❗🎵🎧💿❓❓ superbolide good morning to you too :) you’re up rather early superbolide something the matter? superbolide ah i haven’t got another song for you yet, if that’s the question rest assured, i’ll find something yet! zayaya 🙅

It hardly takes them more than a few seconds to grab a small screenshot of the playlist in question, sending it and another screenshot back to Thancred as they quietly listen to the same song Rjoli and Reese had playing near constantly for last Valentione’s Day in the bakery—still manages to be catchy, somehow. Let it not be said that acoustic covers were not their favorite.

The notification ringtone chimes when Thancred responds, cheery and bright.

Zaya goes a bit bug-eyed at what he types next, the song fading off as the next one on shuffle comes up—piano, humming, Thancred’s voice—

Thankfully, for it being so early in the morning, there’s no one around in the parking garage to judge the frankly embarrassing noise they make at their phone, or the bright flush that spreads across their face.

It isn’t like that, they remember saying, sputtering like a fish out of water when Lunya had barely insinuated that Thancred’s small wave as he walked past was a bit more than friendly. There’s no way he’d be interested in the courier that helped him choose out a ribbon at the local boutique, of all people! He doesn’t even know where I work!

Zaya drops their forehead onto the dash of their motorcycle, careful not to hit their horns against anything as they do.

Looks like they were wrong, about it ‘not being like that’. Maybe.

(Oh gods, they really hope they’re wrong.)

…

[ text channel #mom-panic; 8:03 AM]

💬 this says zaya is typing...

this says zaya😑 this says zaya💭🌑💘 🤟 ❓ banned for baby crimes DOES HTAT MEAN WHAT I THINK IT DOES closest to hell zaya qestir i swear on your lover boy’s life clarify for the peanut gallery local breadhead :0 reese is in pieces :O( i think hm reese is in pieces :O( zaya did thancred just confess or did somethign else happen this says zaya [ superbolide: oh haha i must have forgotten to upload those to my lifestream] this says zaya [ superbolide: there are some songs i did save, but all the clips there were lyrics i thought of after chatting w/ you 😉] this says zaya [ superbolide: i could make an EP dedicated to you w/ the inspo you gave me] this says zaya [ superbolide: that is, if you don’t mind] Hanami Hagane I told you he was obvious. closest to hell SATINA YOU OWE ME GUMMIES FROM SHOOTING STAR I CALLED IT closest to hell IT WAS OBVIOUS THE MUSIC HES MAKING WAS BC OF THEM local breadhead oh bless… that’s v sweet… banned for baby crimes HBHBHHB NOOO MY HARD EARNED GIL,,, banned for baby crimes BUT WE ALL WERE RIGHT ABOUT HIM THO reese is in pieces :O( awwwauaua!! banned for baby crimes so banned for baby crimes zaya banned for baby crimes when’s the wedding this says zaya 😡😡😡 closest to hell me🤝sati “when’s the wedding” this says zaya 👆💀🏡 Hanami Hagane You two better start running. banned for baby crimes WAIT ZAYA NO-

#ffxiv #zaya qestir #thancred waters #ffxivwrite2020 #ffxivwrite #tales from the blue #my writing #main street au #look its 2020 and i can write chatfic with my normal fic if i want #the song may be about breakup but this fic sure aint :^)#i dont know how to make the names all color text in tumblr ;W; ill fix it later...#balefire #elie's ffxivwrite2020 #s: bound by faith

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junquisite · 4 years

Text

Who’ll give in first? - Pt 6

PARTS : 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 Final

A/N : Almost 2.2K and took me a while to write. I guess only 2 more chapter are left, 3 at max. This would have been uploaded earlier had a friend of mine not given me this idea of another fic and i invested quite a time on that. So basically i have another fic coming up, Yayy me!

‘Will be home later’ turned out to be quite late, Hongseok thought. They were supposed to go shopping, how much more time did they needed? It was past dinner time now and more then concerned, Hongseok was on the verge of murderous rage. Maybe it was because he was planning to bare his heart to her tonight or maybe it was just plain jealousy of her spending more time with Kino, but he wanted her home NOW. Sadly all his calls were going unanswered and the only response he got was a text from her saying “will be late, sorry!” and then no reply to the texts he sent after. So he was beyond pisssed.

Around 11:30-ish, he got a call from her and before he could say anything, he heard her sing-song voice saying,”Hongseok-aaah!” and then she giggled and Hongseok sighed, “Great. When I actually get her, she’s fucking drunk.” He mumbled and got up from the couch. If she was calling him, there was a 99.99% chance that she needs him to pick her up.

“Where are you?” he asked, grabbing his car keys and jacket and putting his shoes on while trying to get her to tell him where she was.

“Umm a club? A party? I don’t know. Kino took me. Do you wanna talk to him? Let me give him the phone!” she said as Hongseok wanted to slap himself or her for that matter. Why couldn’t she have just told him?

An equally drunk Kino came on the phone after her and somehow managed to tell him the club they were in. On his way, he called Changgu there too, to pick Kino up because he didn’t wanted to handle two drunks, especially those two. He was already dreading meeting them because when sober they can be all cutesy together, drunk them will be even more and that was the last thing he needed that day.

He arrived there, about 25 minutes later and as soon as he got out of his car, he found them. Or o be precise, they found him because he heard her yelling “seok-ah!” at the top of her voice and when he turned around, he saw her waving her hand at him while the other hand was wrapped around Kino’s and were sitting on the sidewalk adjacent to the club.

He went to them and then only Changgu pulled up as well so he sighed in relief. When Changgu came too, they both stood in front of the two drunks happily giggling among themselves. Changgu first tried to pull Kino up who refused to let go of her and Hongseok just stared around.

“Can’t we just leave him here?” he said to Changgu who glared at him from near Kino.

“Come pick her up. Then they both will get up hopefully.”

The two sober ones were pointedly ignoring the drunken whispers of them who, according to Hongseok, were too close for his peace of mind so he just went close to her. He tried to hold her arm which she let her, a good sign he thought, but she won’t get up until Kino would too, so Changgu and him pulled them both up together and finally, the drunk duo were standing on their feet, even though a bit wobbly.

The next problem was, SHE! JUST! WON’T! LET! GO! OF! HIS! ARM! Hongseok had had enough after the first few tries that he just grabbed her by the waist and picked her up, upside down on his shoulder and she just had to leave Kino’s hand.

“Hyunggguuuuuu!!” she yelled while hitting Hongseok on his back which wasn’t really much to him but it was annoying. The said man in question was also trying to escape Changgu’s grip and crying “Jiwon-ieee!” and Hongseok just stared at him in irritation.

“Just take him, I’m gonna take her too.” He said and started to turn around when Changgu called him.

“Did you finally tell her?” he asked and Hongseok looked at the thrashing girl on his shoulder.

“I couldn’t really. She was out the whole day with him,” he said, pointing at Kino with his chin. Changgu laughed and Hongseok rolled his eyes.

“Don’t hold her upside down too long. She might throw up!” Changgu yelled at him while taking Kino away and Hongseok swiftly manhandled her into the bridal position.

“Let’s go!” she chimed in and he rolled his eyes. So much for calling Kino before.

He eventually managed to have her sit in the car and jogged over to the driver’s seat and they started their way home. Until 5 minutes later when Jiwon decided she has had enough of sitting still and moved around in her seat to stare at Hongseok driving. That was fine too but then she decided she wanted to feel his muscles up and Hongseok looked at her sideways, wide eyed, “what are you doing?” he asked and she looked at him with a dopey smile, “I like your muscles seok-ah!”

He sighed and continued driving. But again, a few minutes later she was bored from his biceps and her hands wandered to his chest and the car slightly swerved because he was so shocked!

“What the hell Jiwon?” he asked and she just smiled at him. He stopped the car on the side road and turned towards her.

“Can you stop that so that we can actually reach home in single piece?”

“But I like your bodyyy!” she whined and Hongseok blushed slightly. Even though he knew that it was a fact, explicitly her being vocal about it made him flush slightly.

“Okay, stay in your seat and do all this after we reach home okay?” he said turning around to drive.

“Kiss.”

“Huh?” he turned around so quickly that he made himself slightly dizzy.

“Gimme a kiss then I won’t disturb you.” She said, puckering her lips towards him. He stared at her for a few seconds until she started grabbing his jacket but leaned over then to give her a peck.

“Happy now?” he asked, staring at her.

“Very.” She said and leaned back in her seat, still facing him.

He smiled softly at her and started driving again. He noticed though, that she kept on staring at him. When they reached a red light, he turned towards her and asked, “Why are you staring at me like that?”

Without skipping a beat, she answered, “because you’re good looking and I like looking at you.”

He was taken aback, even though slightly. It wasn’t that it was the first time he had heard someone say that to him, but it was the first time SHE had said it to him and that was something special. So overcome by emotions, he unbuckled his seat and leaned towards her, kissing her passionately. Her drunken mind took a few seconds too long to kiss him back but then she was kissing him with equal vigour with her hands tangling in his hair and grabbing at his jacket.

They pulled back only when they hear the car honking behind them and he looked around to see the light had turned green. The car behind them changed lanes and left while they just breathed heavily in the car. Pecking her lips once more, he started driving again and somehow, taking almost 40 minutes for a 20 somewhat minutes ride, they finally reached their apartment complex.

He got out and waited for her to get out too, but when she didn’t, he walked to her side and opened the door. She was idly sitting in and when he leaned on the open door, gave him a pout.

“Why aren’t you coming out?”

“I don’t want to.”

“What do you mean you don’t want to? You wanna stay in the car for the whole night?” he asked and she nodded saying no. “Then?”

“I don’t want to walk till there. Cary me?” she asked, opening her arms towards him and he just stared at her, dumbfounded.

“Pleaaseee?” she pleased with her puppy eyes. Normally it won’t work on him but he was so in love with her and had waited for her the whole day, so he sighed and leaned down, sliding one hand below her knees and the other below her shoulders and picked her up bridal style again. She made a happy noise and he smiled and thought, her smile was the prettiest when for him.

The struggle of going to your apartment carrying a drunk girl was not the carrying part, but her squirming. Eventually when he reprimanded her to stay still, she listened but somehow it made things even harder for him because she decided to hide her face from him, in his neck only.

So with every step, he was very aware of her every breath near his neck and whenever she would mumble something, he would feel her lips moving on his neck and he had to kept reminding himself to control because she was drunk and he was not going to take advantage of that.

When they finally reached their apartment, he was trying to enter the pin with her in arms so he made her stand up and tried entering it. It might have gone well and they would have gone inside on the first try had she not said what she did.

“Hongseok, why won’t you sleep with me?”

His hand slipped on the wrong number when she asked this and he turned to stare at her instead. After finally entering the correct pin, they entered their apartment and he started walking towards his own room when she grabbed his jacket.

“Do you not like me seok-ah?” she asked and he turned around. He was weak for her anyway and seeing her looking at him all sad tugged at his heartstrings and he pulled her close in a hug.

“Of course I like you sweetie” he said, even though he wanted to tell her he loved her, this wasn’t the time.

“Then why wont you sleep with me?” she mumbled in his neck and he stifled a laugh. She really had a one track mind.

“You’re drunk baby. Let’s get you to bed and talk in the morning.” He said and tried to push her away and towards the room but she had other plans in mind because the next thing he knew, her lips were on his and her hands were unbuttoning her own shirt. He tried to pull back but when she bit his lips to get entrance, he gave up and pulled her close and kissed her back, hands trying to stop her from taking her top off.

When he pulled back to get some air, her shirt was off and on the floor and her hands were pushing his jacket off him while she was busy kissing his neck, biting here and there until his neck was full of small and bright red marks. He tried to hold her by the shoulder and push away but the sight that greeted him – blown out pupils and swollen lips, bare neck and only a red lacy bra with her hands tugging at his belt, he groaned and went back to kissing her. Her hands got rid of his belt and his hands were touching her bare skin for the first time. He pulled back only to grab her hands and pin them above her head and started kissing down her neck. He bit down every now and then but not hard enough to leave any marks until her reached her collar ones where all his resolves crumbled and he bit hard enough and sucked to leave his mark. The moans that escaped her lips after the bite prompted him enough to go down further and kiss and bite which was exactly what he did. His hand slightly hesitated before it wandered upwards to grope her breasts and he groaned, pulling his face away from her chest. He bit at the part visible above the bra she was somehow still wearing and she cried his name, pulling him close that made him place his thigh between her legs. It took her not even a second to start grinding on his thigh and he mouthed at her nipples through the bra.

When she pulled at his t-shirt and asked him to take her to his room, did he came to his senses that as much as he was liking where this was going, the fact still remained that she was drunk and he didn’t knew if she wanted it for real or not. So with immense regret and longing for her, with a tent in his jeans, he pulled away from her and took a few steps away.

“H- Hongseok?” she asked and he looked up at her. Her eyes wide and hurt visible. He could see she felt rejected and cursed at himself. Taking the few steps towards her that were necessary, he pulled her in for a hug and kissed the top of her head.

“Morning baby. Let’s talk in the morning. Let’s get you into bed for now.” He said, dragging an unwilling and clearly horny Jiwon to bed. He helped her into changing into pyjamas and tucked her in bed, over all of her protests about how she would rather suck his dick then sleep but he resisted and he was proud of it.

If just after getting out of her room he had to take a shower and get himself off with the images of her mouth wrapped around his length, she doesn’t need to know that.

#pentagon #pentagon scenario #pentagon smut #hongseok #hongseok scenaro #hongseok smut #yang hongseok #yang hongseok scenario #yang hongseok smut #kino #kang hyunggu #changgu #yeoone

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write-it-motherfuckers · 5 years

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11/11/11 Tag Game

I was tagged by @goblin-writer to do this, thank you Darling. Hopefully I do this correctly.

Why did you choose to pursue this hobby? I’m assuming you mean my writing? I love anything creative, and have enjoyed writing since I knew how to write, even if I mostly had to hide or destroy what I wrote after writing it. I’m glad to have made it such a big part of my life again now, after years of neglecting it.

Of your Main Characters, which is the one you would most want to grab a drink with? I’m assuming that this is referring to WIP’s or stories of my own creation. Unfortunately I cant think of anyone off the top of my head. Maybe Dick Bones The Lesbian. Seems like it would be an interesting convo, even if its a long abandoned story.

What is your favourite band? I don’t really have just one? I guess I can name my most common bands I turn to though, and those would be: Nirvana, Paramore, My Chemical Romance, Panic! At The Disco, Disturbed, and Evanescence. It was a struggle to shorten that list.

What is your view on writers’ block and how do you react to it? I have actually given a detailed answer to that a couple of times, and you can find it by searching the advice tag on my blog.

If your WIP were made into a movie, who would be the main character? Don’t currently have an original WIP that’s being written. I have a finished original story, and then a fuck load of ideas that haven’t actually been put down yet. The finished story is actually in script form, and there are two main characters rather than one.

On the topic of movies. What is your favourite movie? Oh shit... Uh... At the moment that would have to be Howls moving castle again. Though it’s constantly subject to change.

What is your favourite series (animated or otherwise)? Hellsing ultimate, Inuyasha, and BNHA at the moment, though I haven’t completed the last one.

Time for something more personal. What language do you wish you were learning/ had learnt? Japanese and Swedish are as much as I can narrow it down.

The rats are scurrying through mirrors. Do you have a heavy cloth sheet to close the mirror at night? I guess, though I can always just lay them face down or back to front. Wouldn’t be the first time.

Do your Main Characters like the vaporwave aesthetic? Not a fucking clue Darling.

What are you going to eat tonight? Nothing, haven’t gone shopping like I was meant to. I would very much like Maki though.

I wont be tagging anyone as we all know, but I will pose a few questions so that you lovely Darlings can answer if you like.

What’s the main characters name of your current WIP, be it fanfic or original?

Hogwarts house?

Favourite song today?

Favourite type of movie?

Before you lays a wooden box about the size of a tissue box, a tall glass vial filled with some kind of liquid that never stops moving, and an old leather bound book with a thick engraved metal clasp holding it closed. You may take one, which do you take?

If someone offered you a free custom coffin with no explanation, would you accept?

Favourite vine?

Claws, fangs, or pointed ears?

Explain your current WIP in a few short words in the most shitposty way you can.

A stranger has just handed you an envelope randomly with no explanation. Inside is a single key. What do you do?

You can only wear one main colour for the rest of your life. What do you choose?

#write-it-motherfuckers #mod speaks #tag meme #ask meme #meme #response #dick bones the lesbian

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confusedandhopeful · 5 years

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Daredevil Exchange Fic

My plot holes have plot holes. I tried, okay? Here’s my entry for the @daredevilexchange, I hope this is something along the lines you were hoping for, @avengers4 your name ain’t a safeword Frank Castle/Matt Murdock

Rated… mature? Includes Dom/Sub overtones and bad bdsm etiquette. Also gratuitous suspension of logic ….. A persistent knocking brings Frank quickly to awareness. He could count on one hand the number of people who knows where he lives and none of them are likely to drop by for a social visit. Throwing off his blanket, Frank rolls out of bed in one swift move, grabbing his pistol from the bedside table as he goes. Careful to tread lightly, Frank steps silently to the door, though not standing directly in front of it. Being gunned down through the door isn’t the least likely scenario here, and Frank didn’t get this far in life by taking unnecessary risks. The knocking stopped as soon as Frank’s feet touched the ground - which isn’t suspicious at all. Frank’s worries are lessened though as a familiar voice calls out “Frank, let me in”.

Red, then.

Frank holds the pistol, pointing it down but clicking the safety off in case Red has been compromised. He opens the door quickly, lets his eyes sweep over the hallway to confirm the lack of hostiles, before coming to settle on the man at his door.

The pre-dawn light doesn’t do much to hide the bruises blooming on Red’s knuckles, and his breath is unusually shallow. Frank is half discomfited by Red’s decision to switch back to his black pyjamas, rather than the red fetish-wear. The suit was great for intimidation, ridiculous as the horns were.

But the black clothing doesn’t give the same aura of danger, actually softens Red’s persona, leaving him looking almost - vulnerable, in comparison. The black fabric wrapping his head allows for more expression to show through, pulled taut as it is over his brows and cheekbones. How the fabric continues to be so opaque even up close, Frank doesn’t know. It’s obviously sheer enough underneath that Red doesn’t give any sign of being at a disadvantage.

Red seems to be assessing him, and Frank raises an eyebrow. Whatever the test, Frank thinks he’s passed because Red lowers his gaze and mumbles out “I need a place to hide out for a bit.”

Awww hell no, he isn’t running a half-way house for idealistic heroes.Not that he’s hang Red out to dry, but he can’t have judgement personified shadowing him either, Frank isn’t that much of a masochist. He steps aside for Red to enter at least, this isn’t a discussion for the hallway of his apartment. Red must take it as acceptance though, his shoulders lose some of their tension and he give a small, awkward smile, glancing fleetingly at Frank before striding in.

He doesn’t even make it as far as the sofa before his steps falter, though. Frank sees him glance between the single bar stool at the kitchen counter, and the ratty two seater before dismissing both in favor of pulling out an old flip phone and pressing some buttons.

He glances at Frank “Sorry, I just, I have to let - I have to contact someone.” He turns away before Frank can roll his eyes. Damn, Frank is so not dealing with this right now. He heads into the kitchen to give Red at least the semblance of privacy, starts making coffees for them both, but still totally listens in. As if that was even in question.

“Hi F-, um. Hey.”

“No, I’m not injured, I’m fine,” Red glances back at Frank, and is he looking guilty?

“Yeah, I know, I -” a pause, then, “I don’t know how, I only just found out!” The other person must have quite a bit to say, Red just winces a few times before cutting in. ”Look, I need you to listen, you’re not safe. You and Kar-” again, Red cuts himself off, but Frank ain’t no idiot. Daredevil had worked with the staff of Nelson and Murdock, and he’d put good money on that last name being Karen Page, because apparently there is no such thing as six whole degrees of separation.Which Red must be talking to one of the lawyers - Foggy.

Red covers his slip, thinks he’s being sneaky. “You both need to go somewhere you can be protected, at least until we work this out,” and what Frank wouldn’t do to hear the other end of the conversation.

“Right, do you have a pen and paper? No, write this down,” and Red rattles off a mobile number.

“Tell him you’re friends with Daredevil and you need to get in contact with Stark. Yes, Tony Stark. No,” and then, almost reluctantly, “…Spider-man?”

And apparently that’s not the right answer to whatever the question was, judging by the agitation he can just make out coming over the line. The conversation ends quickly after that, with Red promising to call Foggy of whoever it is back, Frank doesn’t pick up any more hints about what’s going on, but it’s really got Red thrown off kilter. Frank finishes the coffees, doesn’t know how Red usually has his but figures something strong and sweet wont be amiss right now. Red’s watching him again, and Frank wonders what he’s thinking.

“How long’re you planning on crashing here?” He asks, and that wasn’t what he’d planned to say, but fuck it, he may as well know what he’s up against.

He holds the coffee out and Red takes a long drink almost desperately, before answering. “I’ll check in with some people tonight, see how everything’s going and hopefully I can relocate then.” His voice sounds apologetic, but now Frank knows this wont be the long, drawn out sleepover party he was expecting, he’s fine with Red lying low here. It’s only one day, after all.

An hour later and Red is walking a groove into his floor with all the pacing. He ate barely any of the omelette Frank shoved in front of him, too busy radiating nervous energy, so Frank finished both their breakfasts off himself; waste not, want not and all that. When Red starts making his third coffee though, Frank decides he can’t stand the nervous energy practically radiating off him. Grabbing the coffee tin deftly, he decides “you ain’t having more of that, you’re already too jittery.”

Frank might not be able to see through the mask, but the glare Red is giving him is ridiculously over the top, even for him. “I’m not some kid,” Red starts, stepping forward and obviously trying to be intimidating. Frank barks out a laugh, “yeah, no. You ain’t far off it though. You look like you’d blow over in a strong breeze.”

Frank doesn’t expect to get a reaction to that, even when overwhelmed and off his game, Red is clearly not someone to mess with. He obviously hasn’t taken into account how worked up Red’s gotten though, as the man gives him a sharp shove to his solar plexus.

It is enough to make Frank stumble back a step and Red looks satisfied, readying himself like he’s waiting for an attack. Really? Fucking hell, was the kid going to be like this all day?

Frank can not believe Red is being so ridiculously transparent. He shakes his head instead. “What’s eating at you, Red? This ain’t like you.”

“You don’t know what I’m like,” Red retorted. “Come on, I can take you,” he bounced on his feet, dropping slightly into a fighting stance.

Frank can’t help it, he barks out a laugh. “Yeah kid, you’d give it a good shot. What’s got your panties in a twist then?”

Frustration pouring off him in waves, Red growls; picks up his empty mug and throws it - hard - against the far wall.

Frank is on him in an instant, pushing him into the counter from behind and twisting his arm back and up, taking away his mobility - unless Red’s desperate enough to get free by dislocating his own shoulder or something.

“Now listen here Red,” Frank starts, voice calm and firm. He’s surprised that Red isn’t at least trying to wriggle loose, pinned between Frank and the counter as he is, “you’re freaking out, I get that. But my walls ain’t done nothing to you, and I don’t like you tryin’ to pick a fight with me over whatever this is.” Frank waits, he’s expecting a snarl or maybe some swearing. He isn’t expecting Red to slump, all the energy leaving him in a shuddering breath.

Frank doesn’t loosen his grip, too ready for subterfuge to by tricked like that, but he doesn’t think Red is faking. Keeping Red’s arm twisted up behind him, Frank moves a few inches back, so Red’s body isn’t pressed so painfully into the counter.

“It - It’s all over,” Red forces out, the words sounding ripped from him. “I can’t, I - I don’t know what to do!”

No, no, no, no. Frank can feel the Red’s body start to shake and he can’t do this, isn’t ready for feelings and navigating something that could bring Red so undone. It’s obviously not urgent, not anything they could prepare for or fight against. Because there’s no way Red’d be pacing the Punisher’s apartment of all places if he could be doing something to fix whatever’s happened. Frank can feel the desperation in Red to do something, anything, to that could help. He’s familiar with the feeling of helplessness, the itch of inactivity when something blows up in his face.

He can’t do feelings, but Frank thinks he can help with this. And if it goes pear-shaped? Well at least Red’s in no state to laugh at him, so there’s that, at least. Frank leans in a little again, just the slightest hint of pressure, of taking control.

He really hopes he’s not making a huge mistake.

“Listen here, Red,” and Frank makes his tone sound as matter of fact, as unquestionable as he knows how. “There’s a dustpan under the sink. You’re gonna clean up your mess - every last bit, mind you, I’m not gonna be responsible for your tantrum” and Red has gone still is listening but its a fragile thing; Frank can only hope this fucked up situation falls the right way up. “Then you’re going to sit your ass down at the kitchen counter, and fucking eat what I put in front of you, ya hear?” despite the swearing, Frank keeps his voice calm and level. Sure with a confidence he doesn’t actually feel. Red needs a distraction, needs a task to focus on and Frank just hopes this’ll help. He takes a step back, releasing Red and waits.

It feels like an ice age before Red reacts, still slightly leaning over the counter with his back to Frank. He makes an aborted movement to turn to Frank, flinching back before its even really begun. His breathing hitches and he pauses a stands frozen for a few more seconds. Frank can tell the second he decides on a course of action. Red doesn’t make eye contact, doesn’t look anywhere near Frank as he keeps his head down. But he goes from still indecision, to a flurry of movement in the blink of an eye. Red steps past him and rips open the cabinet with more force than necessary before dropping to his knees. The dustpan’s at the back, not that there’s that much in any of his cupboards, but Frank ain’t one for sweeping up little dust-piles, would rather just sweep them right out his front door and be done with it, so he only knows its there from when he puts his two saucepans away.

And maybe the middle of Red’s crisis is not the time to be thinking of Red on his knees, his first ass perfect for grabbing and -

Nope. Frank is stopping that thought, right there.

Red doesn’t take more than a few seconds to grab the dustpan. Stands, still avoiding meeting Frank’s eyes by the looks of it - no surprise there - and drops down in front of the worst of the mess.

Not wanting to spook him, or worse, get his hackles up now that he’s successfully averted some hand-to-hand against someone a little too trained for him to be confident in his victory, Frank turns to the fridge and pulls out bacon and bread. It’s not an extravagant breakfast by any means, but it gives Frank something to do and takes the spotlight off Red.

What the fuck is he gonna do next? Frank’s only got… maybe ten hours to fill? He considers his options for offloading the vigilante to someone better suited to dealing with this bullshit, and comes up short. Well fuck, that’s just peachy, isn’t it. He resolutely doesn’t glance over at Red, on his hands and knees in Frank’s apartment, fuck.

Frank doesn’t need a psychology degree to get that this is a fragile truce at best, can tell just by Red’s jerky movements and the flush of his cheeks (embarrassment? shame? anger?) visible below his mask as he passes. Red’s following his orders right now because its helping distract him from whatever thoughts are circling around his head. Frank knows the surety in following the chain of command, the ease of decisions that are not his own.

Breakfast isn’t ready when Red, efficient as ever, hesitatingly comes over to sit at the lone bar stool. Frank shoves the plate of toast, knife and butter at him, gives him that task to buy himself a couple more minutes. The silence is pressing on Frank in a way that it usually doesn’t, but he’s not going to break it if he doesn’t need to, doesn’t want to say something to undo the tense peace that has settled over the kitchen. They finish their breakfasts in silence, Frank standing across from Red, who doesn’t look up even once, though his heated cheeks tell Frank that he’s aware just how weird the situation really is.

Just as Red starts to fidget, Frank says, “The towel in the bathroom is clean. You should clean yourself up, wash that blood off,” he really should have offered that before they ate. Frank shakes his head at his thoughts, Red’s a grown man and could’ve dealt with it whenever he wanted.

It’s with relieve that he hears the shower start. He’d actually meant that Red should clean his hands up in the sink, maybe wash his face or whatever he usually did. Not that Red wasn’t welcome to the shower - he definitely looked like he needed it, the night’s grime visible even in the dull apartment lighting. It simply hadn’t actually occurred to Frank, so used to military efficiency and necessity. But now he had extra time to think; Frank wasn’t one to look a gift-horse in the mouth.

Of course, when Red steps out of the bathroom, only to hesitate on the threshold of the hallway, Frank is maaaaybe questioning his good sense. Red is built. For someone so slight, what little body mass he has appears to be completely made up of taut, strong muscle. He was wearing that damn mask again - at least, Frank assumes he’d taken it off for the shower - and is wearing the towel around his waist, but that leaves a - whole - lot of skin that Frank probably shouldn’t be staring at.

He’s definitely too too obvious about it, because a blush creeps up Red’s chest as he ducks his head, and that bashful look is not helping.

Frank averts his eyes quickly, points to the next door along. “Closet’s in the bedroom.” he offers gruffly, “Help yourself.”

“Uh, thanks,” Red pauses, seemingly undecided, before slipping into Frank’s bedroom.

Gods. Frank tries to will away his erection, isn’t actually trying to take advantage here.

When Red reappears a few minutes later, he’s found a t-shirt that’s absolutely swimming on his compact frame, and… boxers?

I… none of your trousers would stay up.” he shrugs helplessly. “I figured this is okay.” it’s almost worded as a question. Frank gives an affirmative hum, anyway. He is definitely not thinking about how - possessive - seeing Red in his clothes leaves him feeling.

It takes him a second to realise Red is fiddling with something, and another one to identify it as a tin of boot polish.

Red clears his throat before starting, nodding his head towards Frank’s army boots by the door. “I figured I could - I can make myself useful while I’m here?” his cheeks are flaming, and Frank thinks he didn’t actually intent for that to come out as a question. He wonders if the blush went away from before; if Red’s chest is just as flush as it was minutes ago.

Stopping that thought right there, thankyouverymuch.

He is so going to hell right now, because this? Frank is no stranger to porn, he was in the army for fuck’s sake. And even a goddamn saint couldn’t miss the connotations of what Red was saying.

Frank scrutinises Red, tries to read more of his expression underneath the mask. The younger man’s hands continue to fidget nervously, but he holds his head up like he’s challenging Frank to say something.

For a moment, Frank lets himself wonder how far Red believes he can take this while pretending its nothing. Wonders what Red’s next attempt would be if he pretended to buy the innocent act and indulge him.

He doesn’t though. Frank doesn’t play coy, doesn’t muddle into this dynamic with only the hope that his partner will speak up if he oversteps or misunderstands. If they’re doing this - and Frank is one hundred percent on board with doing this if Red doesn’t spook - he’s not going to be subtle about it.

Fuck it. Red wants to play?

“You’re not doin’ it unless you do it properly,” he stands. “Wait there.” Frank motions to the the floor directly in front of his seat, then marches over to the door to scoop up the combat boots. When he turns around again, Frank is relieved to see Red on his knees, waiting, instead of backpeddling at the obvious change of pace. Frank returns to his seat and doesn’t acknowledge Red right away. He pulls a pair of clean socks on - had them tucked into his right boot ready to go - and takes more time than necessary loosening the boots’ laces. He’s pretending to ignore the way Red’s breathing has sped up, the way Red holds himself still, the jittering completely gone and the tension easing from his shoulders. Slipping first the right boot on, then the left, Frank begins lacing them back up.

“What’s your safeword?” Frank asks halfway through tightening the laces.

“Uh - I’m not, I don’t -”

Frank doesn’t even let Red finish his denial before he interrupts. “You deserve to be able to let go, but I can’t be the one to help you if you wont let me,” he pauses before asking again: “your safeword?” The question is sharper this time and he makes the warning clear in his tone.

Red drops his head, a shiver running over his body. “Sunset,” he half-whispers, but Frank’s definitely paying attention. He’d like to think he’ll have Red’s attention all day.

#daredevilexchange #matt murdock

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amayalunar · 6 years

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Torn Part 1: The Plan Nyx Ulric X OC X Tredd Furia

Ok so I have been saving this for almost a month on paper… legit on paper it’s been sitting in a notebook while I have looked at it… I finally got the courage to finally post it. Hopefully someone or maybe more will read it. Not sure how long it’s going to be, but by the looks it’s gonna be a semi long semi short. Not sure. Anyways thanks for reading. I’m total Nyx and Tredd trash it’s unbelievable.

Also Amaya Lunar, has been my original character for a very long time, I use her a lot… like in everything… because yeah that’s how I am… I do have other OC’s as well and might put an introduction page to all of my OC’s… who knows

This is semi borderline NSFW, also also TW total heartbreak and angst… hard core because I am angst trash too….

Unpopular opinion: I think Tredd acts like an ass to certain people, he just had it really rough.

Also I love Nyx (like he’s my fave) but I have ready so many fics where he feels unworthy and breaks it off… I wanted to write what happens after that, because what good is heartbreak without a little push back?

Without further interruptions…. here we go….

______________________________________________________

Amaya and Nyx, many would say they were inseparable. Nyx would always hand his arm around her, he would be protective over her. Even go as far she spending weekend out of town, to stay at one another's place. To be truthful, they were a couple... but clearly two different types.

After another heated session Nyx laid over her, his lips still lingering over her neck, as he took in her body heat, how his hunger was fueled by her skin, her beauty...everything until-

“I love you.”

He froze... he waited until it sank in a bit before he turned over on his back the back of his hand over his mouth. Amaya sat up the blanket pulled over her chest, noticing how his eyes were closed.

“Amaya, you can't love me.” he said lowly, the words felt like venom coming from his mouth, how it slipped down his veins as he heard her breath out a little harder.

“What do you mean?” She asked, her raven hair sticking to her face from the previous session. Her eyes gave a look of fear, the once lively and loving emerald orbs that usually stared at him changed to terror.

“I mean, I... don't love you.” she said trying to get words out, words he didn't mean. Words that would tear the woman he loved apart. “I enjoy my time with you, but... I don't have any emotional connection to you. I thought it was mutual, we have each other for pleasure.” he said, but once the words went out he instantly regretted them seeing her look at him as though he took her life and threw it away.

Amaya looked down, he went to touch her shoulder, wanting to tell her that everything he just said was a lie, but he knew better, he had already fucked everything up, all out of... fear.

Amaya stood her, he saw her shaking. Fighting the urge to get up and hold onto her he watched as she dressed herself, watched her cry, watched her heart break into pieces... watched her fall into oblivion.

That was 3 weeks ago....

Amaya wasn't a Glaive, just someone in the administration ward, usually handling paperwork. That still didn't mean she didn't see him on a daily basis. The time she was with Nyx, made her close with many of the Glaive members, especially Crowe. Crowe was always there for her, Hell she was there when Amaya ran out of that apartment. Crowe was the one who almost smacked Nyx around for what he did, and what he said.

However it didn't change anything. Amaya was still drowning in her own sorrow, trying to avoid the man who shattered her, trying to bring herself to be with others again, just like he did.

That night the Glaive were going out, and Crowe wanted her to go with. Even with all of the constant excuses Crowe finally was able to get a 'yes' out of the raven haired woman but, didn't mean she was happy about it.

Amaya was dressing herself that night, looking at herself in the mirror, trying to psych herself up for the night. Loud banging was heard at the door while Crowe stood there unamused. “That's what you're wearing?” she asked as Amaya rolled her eyes. “No, I just can't figure anything out.” She muttered.

Crowe then took the liberty to go through her closets. She threw out some dark blue skinny jeans, a low cut black cutout shirt, that gave great cleavage and showed her back off a bit with a netted look under, and a burgundy leather jacket. Amaya didn't bicker as she started putting on the outfit when Crowe threw over the black thigh high boots to go with.

After she had the outfit on Amaya accessorized, with a small gold chain and earrings. She cat lined her eyes with a smoky look, bringing her luscious green eyes to life, and accenting it all with a dark red matte lip color, a nice 24 hour wear so she wouldn't have to reapply. Her raven hair was done in a messy yet sexy way, her skin was pale and yet stunning.

When Amaya finally emerged from the bathroom Crowe whistled at her. “Damn girl, I'm can't believe he let that go!” She said eyeing the woman before her. Amaya whined at her for bringing it up, but she knew it's exactly what was going to happen most of the night. Crowe made it a point to try to get Amaya over the break up, or whatever the hell it was. Crowe also made it a point to tell her, that Nyx wasn't doing as hot as he makes it out to be either, “regret is a bitch” Crowe would say, or sometimes the word “revenge” would come up, but Amaya wasn't that type of person, she never was one to use revenge, but maybe... just maybe, it was time she started.

Crowe walked with Amaya down to the street to call a cap, she gushed about the latest of 'Glaive Gossip', they would call it. Mostly it was like, funniest moments of the week, type thing. The cab ride was a little longer than normal, meaning, this was not the normal place they were going. Instead of Yama's place they were in front of a higher end club, which was odd.

Inside Crowe pinpointed the gang right away. Amaya followed quietly as Crowe made herself known. “Well about time you showed up, geeze you women take to long.” he whined, she pushed him, almost getting him off his chair. “You hush, can't rush perfection. Right Amaya?” she asked turning to the raven haired woman. When she made it passed the last person she finally showed herself.

Nyx looked at her, and damn... yeah that was the only word he could think of at the moment.

Damn.

Damn... she was beautiful.

He damned himself for letting this go.

Damn, he wanted nothing more than to touch her in that moment, make everyone else stop staring at what was his....

Damn.... it wasn't his anymore....

Damn... he fucked up.

Amaya looked around at everyone, no one treated her any different, there was an occasional look of pity sometimes, but nothing else, just normal banter. However she felt his eyes on her, she felt him watch her, she had to do something to make it stop, to make his go back to someone else, look at someone else... watch her with someone else?

Amaya looked for a seat, only to see the only available seat was next to her, and she wouldn't put herself there, until she realized that it was just the normal get together, it was almost everyone, just they had other close tables, mostly 2 or 3 man tables, this was her way to get away from it. She seen a familiar redhead sitting at a lone table, either his part was getting drinks or he got annoyed with them, either way, it was him or Nyx.

Amaya made her way over to the cocky glaive, he peered over at her taking a drink. “This seat taken?” she asked motioning to the seat across him. His eyes trailed on her a bit, oh he knew her, everyone knew her, this was the Hero's baby... that is, until now. Tredd gave his signature smirk. “What brings you away from the scooby gang?” he asked, his little nickname for the Hero's group, since they were always together, and more than likely getting into trouble together. She looked at him, her emerald eyes meeting his brown ones. “Maybe I needed a change of pace,” however when she looked up she saw Nyx was getting up, and she didn't want to even speak with him, so instead of sitting she grabbed Tredds hand and pulled him up, “dance with me?” she asked, he gave out a laugh “Tredd don't dance.” his cocksure attitude showed a bit, she turned to see Nyx making his way over, she turned back to the red head, and he could see the light panic under her teasing expression, “please, just one and then I wont bother you anymore.” she said, he let out a sign and took down the last of his drink before fully getting up and following her to the floor. Nyx by-passed the table they were at, but made it seem like he was getting another drink.

Nyx watched from the bar, he hated what he saw, he hated seeing her dance with someone else.

Tredd looked up to see Nyx watching her, well what better way to fuck with the hero than to play a little game with him. He leaned down to Amaya's ear. “Mind if we get a little closer.” he said darkly, his hips pressed against her backside. Amaya enjoyed the heat, she enjoyed dancing with a partner. She grinded up on him as he let his hand slip down her figure as his mind starting thinking about want was underneath.

Nyx held his glass firmly, actually surprised he hadn't broken it yet. His eyes dating to the two. He should be the one with his hands trailing her hip, whispering into her ear. He should be the one...

Amaya didn't make eye-contact but she knew he was watching, she knew he saw her with someone else, and not just any someone, this was Tredd Furia, one of his comrades and one of his rivals. She knew his reputation which is why she could pull this more her way. She turned herself to Tredds face her eyes looking directly into his. “Take me home tonight?” His expression was a bit shocked, but he covered it up pretty well, “well I can't deny a lady's wish now can I?” he said his smirk widened. He his eyes trailed to Nyx, his eyes said it all... 'look what I have'...

Tredd leaned into her more taking her lips on his.

Nyx wanted to crush the glass bottle, he wanted to warp over to the two and slit his throat. No one, NO ONE, was to ever touch her... wait where? He watched as Amaya dragged him off the floor, over to the table and out the door. Nyx, letting his instincts take over quickly tried to follow however by the time he found himself outside, she was getting into a cab with him to Gods knows where. Nyx punched the building wall with more force than he really expected to.

He fucked up....

In the cab there was a light makeup session as Tredd let his hands wonder her. Feeling how soft her skin was under that leather jacket. When the cab came to a halt she purposely climbed over him, making it so she straddled his hips for a short amount of time. He paid the cabby with a cheeky comment about his great driving skills.

Tredd lead the way up to his apartment. Inside he turned to her as he kissed her roughly, trailing to her neck as he pulled off her jacket leaving the cut out shirt. The shirt exposed more skin than covered it seemed but, he wouldn't complain. His hands trailed from her waist to her hips, to those thighs. He felt her arms slip around his neck as he went back for her lips. Taking things further he lifted her, her legs wrapping around his waist, he pressed into her, causing her to moan into his mouth. For some reason his caused him to need her more. Without stopping himself he carried her to his room where he laid her on the bed towering over his, letting himself breath a bit before going back in.

However before he could he could see it in her eyes, the force... she was forcing herself to do this?

As much as he didn't want to, as much as he wanted to ignore it, he couldn't. Yes Tredd was fully aware he was an asshole, he was fully aware he was the master of one night stands and booty calls. However he would never take advantage of a woman when she was in pain.

Tredd move off her to lay on his back beside her. She knew, he knew. He was a Glaive, he was trained to notice the smallest details in everything. “Sorry.” she muttered, he turned to her almost confused. “Sorry for what?” “leading you on like this.” he sighed as he tried calming himself. He never did this, Tredd didn't do feelings, he didn't talk, he didn't dig.... but this was Amaya Lunar. The previous lover to the 'Hero of the Glaive' laying next to him, forcing herself to be with another man.

“Why?” is all he asked, she propped herself up, the scene reminded her of that day, just this time she had clothing on. “Why did I do it?” she questioned. Tredd shook his head as he sat up throwing his legs over the bed as he sat staring out the window. Apparently the weather felt just as shitty as she did, it must have began raining after they got inside.

“Why did he leave you?” Tredd asked taking her out of her thought process. Tredd felt the bed shift, he almost thought she was getting up to leave, until he saw her, sitting next to him, legs crossed as she looked out the window as well. “I told him I love him... but apparently I was....” she thought about his words, “you can't love me”, her eyes welled with tears once more as she tried to keep them silent. Tredd stayed silent waiting for the answer, however the answer isn't what he expected it to be. “Apparently, we were suppose to be just for pleasure.” she let out, her voice wavering. “This is why I tried, I tried going home with you, because if he can use me for that why can't I let someone else.” she cried out.

Those words ran though his like a double edged sword. He thought that, yes he can do it, he would pleasure someone to receive pleasure back, but Nyx? Tredd was always the ass, he would always poke Nyx's buttons just because he could. Nyx was suppose to be the golden boy. For some reason Tredd wanted to punch the guy. Then an idea hit him, he looked at her... he could see the pain... he wanted to get rid of it. He didn't know why. Yes he knew her, yes they were considered friends, yes she was damn fine, and probably one of the most beautiful women he had ever met. However Tredd didn't do feeling right?

She started getting up, “I'm sorry I bothered you like this, probably ruined your night with my tears.” she apologized, he got up standing in front of her, he pushed the hair that stuck to her tear stained face. “No... you didn't ruin my night. Oh damn I didn't get laid, guess what? I can do that tomorrow if I feel like it.” he said trying to lighten the mood. “Look, he's an ass for letting someone like you go. So lets make a deal, I will help you make him regret it.” he said she looked at him confused. “I will act on as though we are...” he looked for a suitable phrase, until she just decided to call it what it was, “friends with benefits?” He gave off a few nods, “Yeah that. We will act as though we are, I will go to places with you or show up. When you don't want to or can't anymore I'll get you out. To him, he'll see you leave with me. Occasionally leave something with me, something he would recognize. A picture of something. You'll make him regret it.” She looked at him, “Tredd, don't you think this will get in the way of your other booty calls?” she tried to joke through her surprise. Again he shrugged, “there is nothing that could bring me more joy than watching the hero squirm off of his own mistake.” he said, his tone was entertained as he pictured various outcomes, many resulted in them fighting, but hey it would be worth it.

Amaya went to speak but could only nod. Tredd saw how awkward she felt, as he pulled her closer. “How about tonight you stay here, we have to get more comfortable with each other. Promise I will keep my hands to myself... the best I can.” he added trying to make it come off that this was just so he could watch Nyx spiral into self pity. Amaya nodded as she slipped off her thigh high boots, pulling off her shirt. Tredd watched as she did so, part of him wanted to lay her down right there, show her he could be better than the hero in every way... wait, what?

Tredd got up and grabbed one of his shirts, he knew it was going to mess with him when she would be wearing nothing but maybe panties under than shirt, knowing there was never a woman in the world who would sleep with a bra on. He handed it to her as she took it. He knew she was only stripping down to secure herself with him, but didn't make it any easier for him not to stare or look, or even peek, which he failed miserably at.

Amaya finished her undressing, she then looked back at Tredd. “I'll pay for the take out, since you paid for the cab.” she offered, he shook his head, “next time.” he said as he went onto his phone and orders some random take out. He never liked it when someone else paid for him, even if it was returning a favor, it just wasn't in his character. He was always alone and made it up in the ranks in everything he did just to show he can do it. He didn't ever like something handed to him.

The two ended up watching TV, surprising enough Tredd sat and watched some sappy shit with her. The take out was accompanied by a quick split to the small mart next to the building for a thing of ice cream. Two spoons in the tub as Tredd continuously whined or argued with the couples in the movies. Amaya laughed at how cheesy things were, Tredd noticed lightly how pretty it was, he also mentally slapped himself for thinking it as well.

The night continued just like that, just like two friends catching up and having a night of nothing more than a good time. The two ended up falling asleep on the couch, Tredd's back was in the corner of the couch one leg up on the couch the other on the floor. He had his sweats on, and a tank. Amaya was leaned up against him, his chest her pillow and his arm as the top of the blanket... it was peaceful... it was calming... it was comfortable... No nightmares came that night.

Nyx splashed water onto his face as he still couldn't believe she went home with him. He knew she did too, because she wasn't at her own apartment. He looked into the mirror, his face was wet, his chest feeling like he was being crushed, worse than the last couple weeks. He made it back to his bedroom as he grabbed his phone, as she scrolled through the photos. Various photos of her littered though the gallery, some were just random shots, others of her in her lingerie, other were selfies of the two of them. He scrolled a little further hitting the video he wanted. They were in Galdin Quay, he smiled at the memory. He remember every move he made in the video to capture the one moment he wanted to have with him wherever he went. He snuck up behind her and grabbed her sides, as she let out a squeal then it turned into laughter as he didn't let go. Her laugh... the thing he would listen to when he couldn't sleep on missions, the sound that pulled him back from going off of an edge... the sound he loved. Nyx set the phone down next to himself as she leaned his head on his hands his eyes closed. He wouldn't cry... he couldn't... he did it... he let one tear fall... then another... until his whole being ached to hold her again... before he finally took sleep.

#nyx ulric #tredd furia #final fantasy xv #kingsglaive #original character #heartbreak

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believethaticanandiwill · 6 years

Text

Stay Here Tonight

So I wasn’t going to continue this but somebody commented asking for more. I feel like this is as far as it’s going to go now, but that doesn't mean that I don't have any more stories. it’s just difficult finding time to write when I work 50hrs a week. Thank you all for your notes and likes, it really has boosted my confidence. I know they're not perfect, but hopefully one day, I’ll be as good as everybody else writing in this fandom. I’ve tried to link the previous parts. I'm still new to Tumblr so I'm not sure I've done it right but oh well. Tagging @kneekeyta @lily-pop-2 @eveerez @mmfdfanfic

Part One Part Two

“Stay here tonight.”

It’s been nine days since the night that the horrible ordeal had taken place. He wishes he could forget but he can’t. It’s been eight nights that he’s woken during the night to either the bed shaking from her quiet sobs, or worse, her loud panicked screams. If he can’t get it off his mind, then he’s not sure how anyone expects Rae to. She’s the one who experienced it not him. He’s sat on the lounge absolutely shattered. Its 5pm and although he wanted to start the fixings for dinner off, you know give his dad a hand, he hasn’t got the energy. He thinks to himself, he’ll give it an extra ten minutes, and then he’ll start. He doesn’t know what he’d do without his dad. He’d been there at his beckon and call. Finn’s not really had to ask for much the last few days, his dad had always just been there, with whatever if was Finn needed. Rae shifts slightly and he looks down to track her movement. She’s got her head in his lap, she’s fast asleep, and when she looks this still and peaceful, like the other night hadn’t happened, it gives him hope that she’ll be able to get through it eventually. His eyes brim with tears, he thinks he’s done well to keep it together recently, in fact bar the night he went to collect her, he’s not really cried at all. He feels like crying all the time. The pain in her screams, her begging ‘please get off me’, in the early hours, almost brings him to tears, but if she was to come-to, to him crying, well that’s something he doesn’t want her to deal with. He wants her to know she can tell him anything, and her finding him crying isn’t going to do anything but stop her from telling him things.

He softly strokes her hair, careful not to disturb her sleep. He hears a key turning in the front door as a few of his tears tail down his cheeks. He keeps his head down as his dad walks through to the lounge calling an “evening son”, while squeezing his shoulder in only a parental way. Finn doesn’t say anything, he can’t. He’s too overcome with emotions to vocalise any sort of reply, so he just stays softly stroking Rae’s hair. He hears something being placed on the table and looks up to see his dad placing a cup of tea on top. “Tea makes everything alright, ay son” just a few simple words from his dad and his front is broken. He carefully lifts Rae’s head off his lap and places it onto a cushion, before walking into the kitchen, his dad hot on his footsteps. Once in the kitchen with the door closed he lets it all out, his dad catching him in his arms. He’s not sure how long he’s spent in his dad’s arms, but he’s not ashamed. He’s been a daddy’s boy for as long as he can remember, even before his mum left. She never was much interested in him to be honest, always thought he was in the way. He remembers trying to be a brave big boy when he found out she left for good, didn’t bother his dad much, made out like he was fine with the new reduced living arrangements, but in the small of the night, he’d crawl into his dads bed and slot himself into his dads arms.

“You need some sleep son, everything is always a lot harder to deal with when you’re running off hardly any sleep”. Finn nods, he knows this, it’s just so hard to sleep when the girl you’re in love with is verging on a panic attack or a flashback. “I’m sorry dad, this mustn’t be easy on you. Rae’s not sleeping well, I try to calm her quickly; I try not to wake you. I don’t know though, it’s always worse when she’s been to see Kester.” Gary swallows, he’s got his own tears in his eyes “it’s alright, can’t be helped son, I just wished there was something I could do to help.”

*************************************

Finn was shocked earlier this afternoon when he found Rae on his doorstep, she looked pale, and exhausted but the smile she’d gave him warmed him. He’d helped her up and led her into the lounge where they’d spent the majority of the remaining afternoon talking and cuddling. She’d explained how her therapy session with her mum and Kester had gone. As he had thought, her mum wasn’t one hundred per cent certain on what had actually happened, and in true Earl/Booshtat women fashion, they’d come to heads, which had resulted in Rae walking back to Finns. Rae had explained how her mum had called her foolish for not reporting this to the police, and Rae had told her mum that she obviously didn’t care much, if she had only just realised the extent of that night, over a week later. Finn had tried to explain to Rae that while Linda calling her foolish had been wrong, it was more likely a slip of the tongue, through worry for her daughter. After Rae had settled down, Finn had wrapped her in a blanket and they’d settled down to watch a few films, but Rae hadn’t made it ten minutes in before nodding off. He suspected Linda would be round tonight to collect her daughter, as there had been an on going argument the last three about Rae’s refusal to go home.

******************************

Finn finally lets his worries slip and confines in his dad, “Da, I’m worried what will happen when Rae goes home, I suspect Linda will be round for her tonight, and if I’m not there, and Rae needs me, what’s going to happen?”

“It’ll be alright, Rae can call at any hour, I can drive you round if need be, and anyway, Rae is always welcome here. Whenever, even if you’re not here.” Finn nods and before he can answer there’s a distant knocking on the door. He makes his way through the living room, Rae still sleeping on the couch, she must really need it, and if it were up to him, he’d leave her sleeping. Once he gets to his door he knows who it is by their silhouette. “Hi Linda”, he smiles as he opens the door, Linda smiles back and makes her way past Finn. She’d been round a lot over the last week, and so her making her own way through his house is nothing new. He closes the door softly behind her and follows her through to the living room hoping she hasn’t woken Rae yet. If anybody is going to wake her it should be him, providing she came here to see him, and he’s the only one she trusts enough to fall asleep in the company of. When he reaches the living room however, he’s shocked to find Linda with tears in her eyes, gazing down at her daughter, he notes that her breath is quite short, so he walks over to her and slowly puts an arm over her shoulder. He hopes he hasn’t freaked her out with his weird behaviour, but Linda must find it comforting as she tucks herself into his chest. She cries softly on his shoulder, and for a while there’s nothing but the silence and Rae’s occasional soft snore. “How did I miss it” he can hear her mutter to herself over and over along with the occasional outpour about her being the worst mum. Finn knows that no matter how much of a fight and protest Rae puts up tonight, Linda will not leave this house without her so he thinks its about time he lets Linda in on what she should expect.

“I know tonight is the night that you’ll be taking Rae home even if she does protest, but before you wake her I think you need to know that she’s been having these panic attacks, and these ermmm flashbacks. Sometimes maybe once a night, however, really its normally about three.” he breaths “She she screams out quite a lot, and if she doesn’t scream, then she sobs, like uncontrollably. Some nights its been really difficult to calm her, however although its not guaranteed, she settles if I pull her into my chest, or cradle her in my arms, sing to her, or put the radio on. Once she’s calmed enough, I usually get her a bru, or an orange juice, just something sweet to help with the shock and then when she’s ready, I stroke her hair while she falls back to sleep.” he’s exhausted thinking about it. He’s not sure how Linda is going to be able to manage when she’s almost eight months pregnant. She already looks almost as tired as he does, and he knows she’s had a lot more sleep than he has.

“I didn’t know she was having nightmares, I, err thanks Finn for all you’ve done, I do appreciate it, but Rae needs to come home now, get back to normal, it’s the only way she’s going to move on from this. And I don’t approve of you sharing a bed. Your dad might have not cottoned on yet, but I have.”

“Look, we’re not having sex if that’s what you’re thinking. I couldn’t not after something like this. It’s just, Rae wont settle if I’ve not been there. I’m sorry I went against your wishes but I just wanted to do right by Rae, make sure I could provide her with everything she needed. And if that means going against your wishes then I did it still. I just tried to do what I thought was best. For her.” he feels embarrassed that he’s just openly admitted to sleeping in the same bed as Rae, and even more mortified that he’s used the word sex in her mothers company. Something behind Linda’s eye shifts and her face is soft and compassionate.

“Finn, I wasn’t having a dig, I do appreciate everything you have done. And if she’s been having nightmares and she’s needed you then I too will turn a blind eye to the bed sharing. However, I do think it’s time she comes home, she’s got to start feeling comfortable in her own company again. Chloe’s been on the phone nonstop asking when she’ll be home too. I suspect she’s rang here too.”

*********************************************************************

Fucking Chloe he thinks, no of course Chloe hadn’t rang him. She wouldn’t dare, not when she’s the reason why Rae ended up in this mess. When Izzy called round the start of the week she had been absolutely furious. So furious in fact he’d had to call Chop and get him round. Chop had been taken a back by Rae’s appearance; he’d noted how pale and fragile she looked. Rae had done nothing but sob after they left that night, and even the following morning she’d been a little teary. That was until a parcel had arrived at Finns for her, consisting of a fresh dressing gown and some slippers with ‘The Daddy’ quoted on them. That night Finn had rang Chop and thanked him after he’d settled Rae. He contemplates telling Linda about Chloe but settles on not, if Rae wanted her to know it all she would have told her already.

**************************************************

“How long has she been sleeping for? We really should be getting a move on.” Linda questions. Finn looks over to the clock; he knows if he says exactly how long, Linda will wake her. “Erm I’m not too sure, not too long, I know she came straight here after walking out of Kester’s…” Linda’s eyes drop guiltily, Finn notices. “She was a bit upset when she got here, so we talked a bit and then watched some TV, so maybe not that long after all. I think she really needs it to be honest, she’s not slept much the last two nights.”

As if it had been rehearsed, his dad walks out of the kitchen asking Linda if she would like a bru and a chat. Linda takes one final look at Rae before agreeing with Gary. Finn smiles at his dad in thanks as they head back into the kitchen, where he knows his dad will try to keep Linda occupied for as long as he can, so he can prepare Rae. He perches on the coffee table in front of Rae, his elbows resting on his knees, hands around his mouth, just watching her. He notices her eyes are twitching quite a lot, and he wonders if she’s beginning to wake up. He ponders on what he’s going to tell her, how is he going to break it to her that even though she’s told him that she doesn’t feel safe without him, her mums here and she is going to have to go home tonight. His head hurts with him thinking about it.

Rae stretches and yawns, her eyes are still closed but her right hand moves above her head as if she’s searching for something, when she reaches as far as she can and still she’s empty handed, she bolts upright, searching. Finn isn’t sure what she’s looking for but her bolting awake like that has him worrying for her “hey, it’s okay… you’re okay Rae, you’re safe.” he reassures her. Rae’s eyes lock on his and her worried expression changes to one of relief. She smiles as if she’s embarrassed to have been caught in such a panic. Finn returns the smile as he takes a seat next to her. He wraps his left arm around her shoulder and she settles into his chest. His leg shakes and he knows he’ll have to break it to her soon, but he doesn’t know how. “Just tell me.” she speaks softly. Finn wraps her in both his arms and drops a kiss onto her hair, “I’m sorry Rae, but your mums here. She won’t leave you another night.” He feels her nod and before long he feels a droplet of her tears land on his arm “I tried Rae, I tried to explain that you need comforting, and that you feel slightly calmer here, but she said you need to get used to being in your own company again. I do agree with her, but not this soon.”

Rae continues to nod her head, she continues to cry too. Finn drops kiss after kiss onto her hair; he’s unashamed that he’s softly crying also. “I don’t want to go, I like being here with you. I feel safe with you. When I’m alone I panic and I think he’s going to find me, he’s going to come out of the shadows.” All Finn can reply is that he knows, and that she’ll be safe at home too. “I love having you here Rae, and if it were up to me, I’d let you stay, but it isn’t. You can call me whenever though, whatever you need okay, all you have to do is call me.” He kisses her hair again; over and over hoping to show her how much he loves her. He isn’t sure how long they’ve both been allowed to sit there peacefully in each other’s company, but he knows their time together is running thin. Just as he’s about to air his concern over this, the kitchen door opens, and out walks his dad, followed by Linda. He feels Rae tense, so he pulls her closer and whispers she’ll be okay. “Rae love, its about time we head home now, don’t you think?” she doesn’t reply, just pushes her head deeper into Finn’s chest. Linda continues once she notices her daughter isn’t going to reply, “Finn can visit, he can call…” still there isn’t a reply from Rae, “what do you say about coming round for tea Wednesday, you too Gary. I’ll even do hotpot Rae, I know it’s your favourite.” Linda looks over to Finn with pleading eyes; he can tell that this is taking much more work than she bargained for. He’s not happy about being told he can call round for tea in two days, what about tomorrow for fucks sake, he’s cared for Rae hourly over the last week or so, and for Linda to turn around and tell him to call round for tea in two days is an insult. He knows he can’t show his anger, for one it might scare Rae, but it could also make it a lot harder for her to leave to, so he takes a deep breath before speaking so softly, “Yes, I’ll come for tea, but I’ll also call round tomorrow Rae, and you know, you just call me, I’ll be there.” Rae nods, and although Linda looks slightly miffed, Finn can tell that she’s also made up with Rae’s co-operation.

Finn had forgot his dad was in the room by the time Gary speaks up “I’ll just go and get your bags Rae.” and off he pops up the stairs. Linda starts on straight away about how it’s the best thing that them being this close isn’t healthy, that Rae depending on Finn only is unfair on Finn. Rae takes a sharp intake of breath and Finn wants to scream, he can feel Rae lifting her head off his chest so he speaks his mind. “No Linda, No. I’m sorry but please don’t make out like Rae is a burden. Yes this last week might have been a difficult, stressful and very upsetting week, but I like being able to take care of Rae, I don’t mind supporting her. And, I definitely don’t mind being there to support her.” He breathes deeply before speaking, “Rae, whatever you need, I’ve got you. I love you. Okay?” Rae nods her head before smiling up at him; she squeezes his hand as well for good measure. She stands and holds her hand out for Finn.

Not two minutes later she’s sat in the passenger’s side of her mum’s car, Finn is crouched down making sure her belt is secure. She strokes his face and whispers a “Thanks Finn.” her eyes are wet with tears and she’s happy her mum and Gary are still filling the boot with her stuff, “I love you” she whispers. Finn looks up at her and smiles before leaning in and giving her a quick kiss. “And I you, Mae” Finn thinks Linda has rudely burst their bubble the way she settles behind the steering wheel. She looks at them both as if to say ‘right come on get a move on’, Finn feels slightly guilty, he’d forgotten that she was so heavily pregnant until he saw how close her stomach was to the steering wheel. He smiles over at Linda as a goodbye and then stands; he kisses Rae on her forehead before speaking “sleep well girl” and softly shutting the door. His dad is waiting on the doorstep, so Finn joins him in waving them both off. Once Linda’s car is off the drive and out of sight he lets his tears flow. He follows his dad into the living room and takes a seat on the couch; it still feels warm from where Rae had spent the afternoon snoozing. His dad sits next to him and shoulders him softly, and Finn crumbles, he spends the remainder of the night in his dad’s arms softly crying.

********************************

He wakes with a bolt. His soaking with sweat and his breath is short and fast. It takes him a few seconds to realise that Rae isn’t in bed with him, that she went back home earlier. He looks over to his bedside clock and sees that its 2:27am, he’s had a good solid five hours sleep and he’s sure he could do with another five. He lays back and tries to settle, but still 30 minutes later, his heart is still beating a little to fast, his breath isn’t as steady as it should be and he’s still pretty hot. He contemplates doing something he hasn’t done for years; well not if he’s been sober. He gives himself another 15 minutes but he can’t for the life of him calm. Quietly he tiptoes out of his room and down the hall. He stops outside his dads bedroom door and listens for any source of movement, after thirty seconds or so, he knocks his dads door open gently, he really doesn’t want to wake him but is need for comfort is too strong. He paces over to his dads bed and stands looking at him at the side, he’s not sure how to wake him, should he just slide in next to him or should he wake him? He settles on waking him, that way his dad isn’t going to freak out or anything. “Daa” he whispers, Gary doesn’t even move, Finn repeats himself a fraction louder while softly shaking the bed. He’s not sure if it’s the increase in his volume, or the bed shaking, but Gary sits up and looks at him. Without a word being said Gary knows what he’s after, he pulls back the duvet for Finn to slide in before laying back down. Finn feels the tension leaving his body almost instantly, he rolls onto his side to look at his dad “I’m sorry dad, I shouldn’t have come in here like that, I just can’t settle.” His dad looks at him with so much compassion, “Oh my boy, come here.” before pulling a sobbing Finn into his chest.

There’s a persistent ringing in his ear, its pretty annoying, its disturbing him from his sleep he so desperately craves. He’s not sure how long he’s been asleep for this time, but its still dark out, and his eyes are heavy. He hears his dad grumble a “Lo… right yeah, he’s here, we’ll be right there.” and he sits up because he knows Rae needs him. He’s out of his dads bed before his dad has even put the phone back on the receiver, he’s out of his room in his boots before his dad has even got his jumper on, and he’s at the bottom of the stairs coat on ready to go before his dad has even made it too the top. He looks himself over in the mirror and thinks ‘plaid pyjama bottoms and military boots, god I’m such a catch’. But it’s Rae so he can’t bring himself to care. He’s thankful that at this time of the morning the trip to Rae’s is no longer than five minutes, He’s scared at what he’s going to find, what state she’ll be in. If Linda had listened to him, and didn’t separate them the way she did, there’s a chance that Rae wouldn’t be so bad tonight. When his dad pulls up outside, they find Karim on the doorstep waiting for her. Finn has always appreciated Karim, even though he’s quiet, Finn knows he’s a kind quiet and special person. Karim greets Finn with an awkward hug, while speaking in his broken English, “Rae- upstairs. She sad. Cry and shout for Finn much.” Finn nods and understands that yes, Rae is upstairs in her bedroom and yes, she is having the same sort of night terrors, she’s had pretty much every night since. Finn makes his way up and finds Linda stood in the doorway of her bedroom. He thinks its weird that she’s stood there and not checking on Rae. He makes his way to Rae’s room before, he hears Rae calling for him and her mum telling her he’s on his way. Finn turns and walks towards her voice and what he sees breaks him over again, for Rae is scrunched up in her bed, shaking with sobs. He’s at her side as quick as his feet will allow him “it’s alright Girl, I’m here, you’re safe.” Rae is quick to wrap her arms around him and pull him down next to her. He sits up on the bed and pulls Rae into his arms, cradling her, with her head against his shoulder. While Rae is still crying and shaking through fear, Linda notices that she isn’t screaming out anymore, and her breathing is returning to normal. Finn holds her as tight to his chest as possible, and softly calms her. He kisses her head regularly. Once Rae is settled and her sobs aren’t as prominent, Finn asks Linda if there is any way she could switch the radio on. Linda gets to it, happy to be able to help, she goes into the wardrobe and pulls out a etherdown and wraps it around Rae and Finn, before pushing Finns fridge out of his eyes, in a way only a parent can manage, before asking if he would like a bru. Finn nods his head in thanks, and Linda makes her way out. She waddles and Finn worries that she’s going to go into early labour if she doesn’t rest. Once Rae is calm and back to her usual self, he sparks up conversation about how nice her new room is, she agrees and yawns. “Just try and stay awake for a bit girl, I’d want you to get some sugar in you before you drift off.” She nods her head and Finn kisses her head. Linda returns with a tray of tea and they all sit on Rae’s new bed drinking in silence. Rae hands Finn her cup to place on the bedside table and he happily notices that she’s drank over half. He stands up and pulls Rae up before pulling back her blankets; once she’s in he recovers her and sits on the edge, stroking her hair. Rae holds his hand tight while she drops off. Once he’s sure he sleeps, he tries to loosen his hand from Rae’s, he’s about to ask if it is okay for him to spend the night in the living room when Linda speaks up. “Stay here tonight, I’m sorry I didn’t listen. I didn’t realise they would be so bad.” she sobs. Finn nods and then decides it’s about time Linda gets some sleep too. “You look just as tired as me. You need your rest Linda; baby will be here before you know it. I’ve got Rae; it’s about time you look after yourself for now.” Linda Smiles and kisses his cheek. “You’re a good Lad Finn, I’m sorry I didn’t see it before. Try and get some sleep okay?” He nods in response. Once Linda has left the room, Finn toes off his boots and settles in behind Rae. In her sleep she turns to face him and he pulls her tightly into his chest. It doesn’t take long for him to nod off into a peaceful sleep, Rae back in his arms where she belongs.

#mmfd #mmfdfanfic #rinn

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strange-where-the-birds-go · 3 years

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Lights At The Top Of The Stairs

Part 1.

I lived until I was 7 years old with my Nan. My nan and granddad were like my mum and dad and I loved them dearly. I frequently had strange dreams and occurrences happen to me as a child and they have only got stronger and stranger the older I got particularly the past few years. This recurring dream involved an old film camera and strangely enough an immense feeling of euphoric pleasure, fantastic experiences and visitors at weird times and in funny circumstances. The dream was one of three that I had all the time the first one happened when I was young and involved me taking photographs of lampposts, (I know I still don’t get it even now, maybe one day I may understand it’s strange. But it gets even stranger I assure you as you will no doubt find out if you follow the story. So strange you will probably find it all very hard to believe. But on my nans life and grave god bless her it’s all true. The lampposts featured in the dream was on the street where I lived as a child. The other two dreams and all the events in my life I want to explain, I will get to as I post these episodes each day. The synchronicity events and strangeness of it all should eventually become clear and leave you questioning things in your own life and what they may mean. Maybe you have had similair experiences as myself I am almost certain there will be people out there. Get in touch and comment I will be happy to reply.

Thinking from the present as I am writing this, I felt that my childhood dreams couldn’t be ignored but now looking back maybe they shouldn't have been followed considering what happened when I followed my dreams thinking it would be nothing but all good turned into something entirely different. Hopefully eventually I will understand why, what the dream meant, if anything at all. I hope it all becomes a happy positive event and not regretting my choices as I started to after the nightmare that entered my life.

It was a warm, hopeful summer, many years after the events I explain to you here that I remembered the childhood dreams. It was a summer where dreams seemed real and obtainable. I didn't want to be just another faceless nobody, with no real reason or meaning in my life. The idea of not doing anything worth while scared me, and that's all there was to it. The dream I had as a child was going to be followed with all my will, I just didn’t expect it to lead me where it eventually did. I just wanted to do well for my family. I can’t travel back and change things. I can now only hope for the best.

My mum gave birth to me at a young age and I went to live with my grandma. I called my grandma mum and always used to get my mum and nan’s names mixed up when I talked to them so this was the appropriate solution to me as a child. When I was living with my nan-mum I had a very strange dream whilst lying on my bed upstairs. I always until this day remember the dream. It’s what I influenced me me greatly to start my photographic journey.

I was settling down in the living room waiting for my Nan to come home. Strange visions and flashbacks in daydreams. knowledge I always wondered how I knew at a young age. My mum lived in a flat and felt it would be better on that I stayed with my nan while she worked to get money and a stable life for us. I was young anyway and loved my Nan and grandad and tonight I was looking forward to spending time with my them.

My Nan had been longer than usual this evening and I was getting worried. We were going to watch a spooky film together because it was Halloween. “Where’s nan gone Grandad” My 5 year old self said “ She’s ran off with the milk man” came the reply. I never really understood what this meant, just a funny remark at the time knowing my grandads humour.

The key turned in the front door and I felt better glad his Nan was home and safe. My grandad shouted “ be back later Mary there’s some money on top of the television if you need anything I wont be too long, going to speak to a man about some work tomorow” and with that my grandad went out on foot to the local for a few pints.

Nan took off her head scarf, quickly hung it up and threw her anorak over the back of the chair. She walked slowly towards the roaring coal fire to warm up her hands, carefully avoiding the tin bath prepared for the school bath earlier. She lit up a cigarette and sat in the chair opposite the brown veneered square TV set with the 50p box on the side slowly winding its way down ready for another hexagonal queens head. The air was stale, thick with smoke and the smell of cigarettes as she inhaled twice slowly blowing the smoke towards the ceiling and away from me. Feeling satisfied She turned to me. Ive got some jacket potatoes in the oven and treacle toffee, oh and toffee apples as well your favourite. I know its early but we can treat ourselves while we watch the movie, and why not”. “Thanks mum... nan”. I regularly stuttered and got names mixed up. “Thanks nan, are you looking forward to the scary move?” I can only remember seeing a large black Alsatian but having ominous feelings about this dog and the music in the film was eerie, more scary than the actual film at the time. We didn’t get to watch much of it. The tv went black and the 50p meter clicked loudly asking for another coin. Mary got up and went to the top of the tv looking for that big silver piece, inverted triangles that meet in the centre, in the pile of coins Grandad had left for nan “ I’m afraid we haven’t got any 50ps. We will have to wait until your grandad gets back now, isn’t that a shame I was enjoying that, Just when it was getting good as well”

I felt slightly fed up and walked into the kitchen to get a toffee apple. Pausing at the bottom of the stairs in the hallway I peered up to the bedroom landing. More scared now than after watching the actual film. I was thinking of the lights that came. I didn’t understand what they were but they made me feel anxious and scared. I wouldn’t look straight up tothe top of the stairs as it was too scary I had to peer out from the corner of my eye to check everything was ok up there and when I realised it was I hurriedly half jumped half ran across the front door hallway into the kitchen not once looking behind until I was at the toffee apples in the cupboard. Then peeling the yellow plastic wrapper off the sticky apple I took a bite as quickly as possible making sure to get as much of that red toffee in my mouth as possible and avoid the sour apple. I started hopping on the spot needing the toilet. The dread filled me as I knew I couldn’t go on my own up those stairs towards where the light came from. The light might get me. “ NANN, MUMM, NANN. I need the toilet will you sit on the stairs whilst I go please I’m bursting. “OK, But you should be able to go yourself”. I stood at the gas iron cooker and waited until nanmum appeared at the bottom of the stairs so I could approach the crooked steps, the lights formed in my sub conscious worried that very real and strange wisp of light might make another appearance. WHAT WAS IT. I ran to the bathroom at the top of the crooked stairs, terrified of the light appearing. I knew how it felt, never threatening at all the last time in fact quite the opposite but I was young and the not knowing scared me. “Nan don’t move, stay sat there please, I’m watching, if you go I wont be able to have a wee”, “ I wont move an inch you know that I wont” “I knew she wouldn’t let me down and trusted her more than anything” I ran up the stairs as quickly as possible looking back every two steps to make sure she hadn’t gone. When reaching the top step I kept my head and eyes straight forward not daring to look right or left and quickly went to the toilet pushing outwards as fast as possible always keeping the door open and making a backward glance towards Her for reassurance. No quicker was I finished and I was halfway back down those stairs again breathing heavily with the exertion and back with his nan. “ Why do you do that”, she said “The light comes nan it scares me” “What light?” “ I cant tell you, I want to, but I cant tell you”. Nan rolled her eyes and said, “You’ve been watching too many horror movies at aunty carols your imagination is wild”. I didn’t even hear Marys remark I was just so relieved to be back beside his nan and safe again.

Nan eventually found a 50p and walked over to the meter fumbling to find the right angle, the perfect spot so it would wind and drop, it clicked and fell into the empty box readily, having been emptied the day before. The TV came to life and Mary switched over to coronation street. Hilda was sat with Stan underneath the triple flying ducks in the living room and it reminded Stefan of his nan and grandad, Gail was also my other mum. I always made these comparisons with everyone in the tv and read their names backwards. “thats enough scary movies for tonight said nan. I think its best don’t you” “Aww Nan I wanted to watch till the end”.

My nan didn’t answer. She just gave me that look. She always knew the answer it was a sort of instinct she had. A knowing. We connected like that. We rarely had to speak we both knew the other like the inside of a well read secret book. I always felt content around her, it was like she could read my mind and the looks she gave me spoke a thousand words resonating on a much deeper level. When you feel the answer with your subconscious voice, those continuous thoughts, in your mind you don’t have to speak but your heart knows.

I was getting sleepy now but my stress levels were rising with the thought of bedtime, they always did especially on a Sunday night, a school night brought depression. It wasn’t school though that scared me, a small part maybe, but it was knowing I had to go to bed early on my own and face the light and the vastness of open space. The people in my dreams. The place between awake and falling asleep where the strange existed. The light outside the door on the landing, so bright and beautiful it would fill my room when I shut my eyes. When it touched my mind I was taken away to an immense blackness of what seemed like outer space. Where feelings crossed over and smells mixed with colours in ultraviolet strings that wrapped around my arms and merged with needles that pierced the tips of my fingers in moments of pleasure accompanied by a peculiar watering of the mouth, a sickly feeling. Floating around in what seemed like an endless universe of random screen images. Pixelated people and smooth two dimensional places wrapped up in tubes of light. It made no sense at all but felt strange and infinite, never endingly good at the same instant. Chattering noises and a great feeling of love wrapped in greater love and surrounded by humanoid like shapes manipulating it like a Rubin’s cube in an instance where all time stood still. silence for what felt like an eternity of singular moments posed inside each other, but was only a second in reality. Not past, present or future but only “is”. The light was so bright and perfect it became transparent emotion to the pit of my soul. To me it was normal I thought everyone must get visits by the light people. I find it hard to explain the happenings now I’ve grown up, but as a child I just couldn’t comprehend what was happening and that night was the start of something strange and beautiful that led to the worst and best time of my life all wrapped into one. If only I understood it as I understand things now as I walked towards the crooked stairs.

#nonfiction #short story #my story #writing #novelist #strange #writer #writers on tumblr

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tylerwritez · 3 years

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Saturday, June 19 2021

I dont know how I feel about the day yet cos right now its only 10:13. I dont post these exactly on the days I write them, but I write them on these exact days nonetheless.

My throat still hurts, my ass hurts, oUch,.... I'm sure you know why. Like, when you suck dick, it takes throat strength to make sure you don't fucking vomit everywhere and like. I OBVIOUSLY dont have that strength since I had to wash vomit outta my hair this morning

Hes so hot tho oh. My god.

Whatever. New day. So we talk about new things.

Star seems kinda sad but I dont really know why? She said on her story that people dont really go outta their way to talk to her... idk. I shot a good morning dm and now I'm here. I made my bed. Packed up my shit. Every time we pack things up my parents rage cos they always find shit they dont want to see: monster cans, evidence of my self harm, etc.

We have 1 more week then school is OVER and I move outta this house cos of the divorce. Jay will be gone too... I still have his insta, but I might ask for his number... just in case. I always get weirdly attached to people I fuck even if there was never any romantic part of the relationship. We are just friends.

Apparently we are going to the pick n pack today with my friend let's call her Zara. It's notfar off from her real name but whatever. Basically pick n pack is where you go to a vegetable garden and pick vegetables

I have a test soon but idk if I'll study for it. I NEVER really put work into studying or pay attention in class and I'm holding an 82 average. I got a 39 once, so once I retake that quiz I might be in the 90s. Sorry Mr. Renal, I simply can't bring myself to care about your class 😢

I LOVE my art class tho. It's just doing ART!!!! ART TIME!!!! Art is the best and I would post some of mine but my irls would proabably find me then. Like my name isnt ACTUALLY Jude Shepard. I'm just using it as a penname and also cos that's what they called me in my dream. But other than that everything I tell y'all is real. I'm making buttered toast rn.

3:38 p.m. sat june 19th

I've decided to include a song recommendation with every entry. Today's recommendation: A Match Into Water by Pierce The Veil

Okay so it turns out we didnt go to pick n pack with Zara. Instead we went to downtown... White Ave. It was sunny n we walked a bit, got lemonades and a bit of candy, went into stores, idk. BUT. The notable part of this is that next to the farmers market there were all the usual activist groups: falun gong, vegan, whatever... but one of them looked like it was a LEFTIST GROUP, possible marxist.

I wanted to talk to them so badly and wanted to see how I could help the cause. See, I'm a communist. AND IM NOT HERE TO DEBATE THAT. I'm here to talk about my days. Anwyays I wanted to talk to them sO BADLY. but my parents wouldn't leave me alone. And like. I hate political discussion with them. They just upset me and they get mad and I CANT AFFORD TO MAKE THEM MAD. I play everything that goes on with me on the Down Low, I dont talk about anything about myself because if I do, I get less freedom in my life. They have control in my life, so I have to appease them. Because of this, I unfortunately did not get to talk to the communists :(

Hopefully they're still there next time... I'm kinda mad >:(

Also Star replied to my good morning text... I told her to have fun shopping since that's what she told me she was gonna do... she just said "thanks" and I was concerned because THATS NOT HOW SHE TYPES? I feel like shes sad over something but i dont know what.

The day me and Jacob did stuff, I was supposed to walk her to her bus stop like I always do. But I didnt (duh) I took Jacob home.

But IT WAS ONE! DAY. And I told her my dad called me over so.... I apologized too and she seemed mad at herself, but in the way that's intended to make you feel bad.

I dont understand her sometimes. I LOVE HER. DON'T GET ME WRONG. I love her so so much shes such a great supportive funny attractive girl! But soemtimes she gets upset and I can never tell why: is it the depression? Is it me? Is it soemthing else entirely? And she'll never tell me.

Whatever, I'll ask her how she is tonight and maybe we can Talk :/

I might never tell her about Jay... :P I might never tell ANYONE about Jay. It's our little secret I guess >:))))))

Man see? I'm no saint. I guess that's what'll make this blog worth reading. I'm a bit conflicted about the whole thing cos I KNOW this is morally not right but. I'm doing it anyways. What can I say? I'm used to lying and hiding things for my benefit. I had to do it to survive and now? Now I do it for funsies.

I'm gonna pack some more stuff, TTYL ♡

UPDATE: we had to go look at houses for the move (since my parents r divorcing) and I didnt get to pack much of anything yet

I'm definently over my cal limit today...

Cold sweet or carbonated drinks help with my throat pain so I'm downing them like they're NOTHING and since we have no zero cal cold drinks I'm DEAD... and no, water does NOTHING.

Jeez, its raining out.

And FUCK JAY cos hes still on my mind.

Its 4:11 p.m. now.

Its now 7:56 p.m.

I kinda feel like an edgy main character in an edgy movie rolling up to the park and sitting #alone in the Treez like the emo band music video protagonist I am.

Sometimes its exhausting to talk to people I care about in a serious way or that I talk to in a more sincere manner like Star and Jay and others. Even if they're just friends. If our interactions are serious and not really casual and usually play out like long deep conversation, I feel like to respond to or even read their messages, I need to have like an hour allotted to conversation. Soemtimes I see the messages early and have to pretend I didnt see em cos I dont have internet to respond or time to respond its. Funny. Idk.

Anwyays I'm binging chocolate in a park alone and like. Rotting my fucking teeth OH WELL 🤷🏻‍♂️ whatcha gonna do.

Its 8 now so I should head home. I just biked to the s4ve 0ns to get my dad white choclate but. If I'm going to s4ve 0ns... YOU BET YOUR ASS IM GONNA STE4L SHIT. THAT PLACE IS EASY AS FUCKKK.

Also I'm kinda addicted to sh0pl1fting. The THRILL I get from it is so insane. It's fun! And you get free stuff! I know If i get caught I'm risking a lot. I'm aware. But I dont really care. Every step I take nowadays is risk taking. So why not take more?

I dont care about nonsense therapy. Fuck that.... actually I'll explain why i dont go to therapy for my shit:

1. I cant

2. I don't trust it

Anwyays yeah.

My throat still hurts. Idk, I just like to be in the sun and shit ALONE.

ALONE! It's so funny to me how now I like my time alone but as a kid I'd proabably kill for some positive attention. Well... it's more complex than that, but I wont go into it tonight.

Pls watch me die of diabetes soon from eating all this fucking chocolate.

My parents said to stop drinking monster and I wANT THEM TO TRUST ME so i can go out with my friends... but also I shoulda got monster outta spite. Heart palpitations my ASS.

Tonight I'll be talking to Jay AND Star. At the same time. Which is awkward... Which is MY OWN MESS TO CLEAN UP. I actually accept full responsibility. But also its awkward.

Whatever. I'll sort it out.

My parents arent being as complicated as usual. I guess they're tryna reverse all those years of... emotional neglect i guess? Something.

Something. Which isnt nothing.

But also I think they're guilty over the divorce. Like. Today my dad was like "do u ever feel sad? Blah blah blah... how do u feel rn" and I was like smiling tryna play off his question like it was absurd and I said "uhm idk... *fake laugh* normal?"

THE TRUTH WAS THAT I WAS A BIT CONFUDDLED ABOUT WHAT I WAS GONNA DO REGARDING. LITERALLY CHEATING. ON MY GF. WITH SOME DUDE IN MY ART CLASS. JUST FOR SEX.

But then he was like "this isnt normal." And he looked all sad. But on my way to the park here, I thought about it a bit more. And actually... it IS normal. The divorce rate is smthn like 60 percent in the states and 40 percent in canada... which is where I live.

Yknow... if my irls find this,,, all I have to say is sorry. Be as mean as you want.

I've already accepted my fate as a degenerate scumbag anyways lol.

Actually... how DO I feel? Hmm... laying in this field.

Urgency.

I have a lot of stuff to do.

Physical pain, but that's not. A FEELING.

I guess anticipation to TALK TO PEOPLE.

Regret from my binge... I better get home.

You know what's so funny to me? I cant purge on my own... but dick makes me vomit. Like the one time I DONT want to throw up, I do. Damn okay.

Well its 8:18 so I'm going home maybe. Soon. For now, I think I'll stay a little longer.

Yknow one thing I didn't expect to be sore was my arms... which I used to prop myself up to... yknow, suck Jay...

I still remember he said: "you're trembling." And I was like FUCK because I thought the trembling was HIM... •_• it's okay though I'll learn to do better.

Idk tho... I feel comfortable with him. Even as nervous as I am and embarrassed to be. Naked. In front of soemone else. And such. He makes me feel comfortable. Look, I did my best, DUH of cOURSE I did my best, I'm the type who will work hard at stuff even if they're getting hurt. I didnt mind honeslty. My goal in that part was just to make him feel good. Equal exchange, yknow? He did the same thing to me.

But like, he can tell when I gag and he tells me not to hurt myself and of course I keep going, I'm not about to SToP. But. I dont kNOW. Him talking to me like that makes me feel a lot safer doing stuff like that you know?

I like when he starts kissing me and touching me like he cant contain himself its almost animalistic and VERY FUCKING HOT

I feel like I talk about him too much but you gotta realize that was my FIRST time

1. Sucking dick

2. having MY junk sucked

3. Having anything put. Inside me. (It was just his finger but stILL)

So yeaH. Of course I'm gonna talk about it. A lot.

He said I was adorable. He said he likes how, when he leans over me, I take in a breath... how he could make me flinch.

THATS HOT ISNT IT.

I feel like I'm getting lost in his charm when I shoULD be tryna fix shit with my girlfriend. She seems sad and I'm worried.

But there isnt much more to say until I DM her tonight...

I really fucked up, didn't I? I totally fucked up and now my brain is all confused. But I have to remember that Jay is only about sex. He would be nice to cuddle, since hes fucking HUGE and I'm kinda on the short side, but he doesnt talk to me out of love. He does it out of lust. And yeah... I really only want sex from him too. But like. Star and I are COMMITTED. We got our feelings wrapped up together. Emotionally and romantically.

So. I should proabably like... stop fucking with Jay. Tell Star what I did. And hope she forgives me. That's the morally correct thing to do.

But like... do I EVER make the morally correct decision? No. Not really. I'm a piece of shit. Whatever. Its highschool anwyays we arent mating for life. IM NOT SAYING WHAT I DID WASNT BAD. IT WAS. VERY BAD.

but I'm gonna keep making bad decisions.

I DO FEEL BAD.... but look. If we're being logical about this and tryna maximize my benefit here,, I should keep Star as my girlfriend and TREAT HER WELL... but with Jay as a fuckbuddy on the side. Hes leaving the school soon anwyays so then we'll hang out less...

That's my plan, anyways.

I KNOW I'm a bad person. I'm aware. But it's just a fact of life.

I'm cheating with my cards here in so many places: stealing, lying, cheating, disobeying my parents, not paying attention in class.. IM KIND OF AN ASSHOLE KID. Idk. It's kinda whatever to me. I'm fucking harry Houdini, okay? I can get out of anyhting. This isnt me being cocky... I have historically gotten out of MANY tight situations, even some that risked my life, and I'm still here. I think I'm a walking lucky charm or SOEMTHING

Welp, we know if gods real I'm going to hell.

I dont really care. Idk. I guess I'm just at that risk taking phase in.my life. That doesnt justify anything... but it explains it. And it's possible to explain without justifying.

Man,,, I guarantee whoever reads this blog is gonna hate my guts.

Whatever. It's my fucking journal/diary lol.

I can sorta say whatever I'd like.

It's funny because I always thought I was trustworthy and had no commitment issues BUT HEY I GUESS NOT.

I keep telling myself, cut him off, YOU AVE A GIRLFRIEND, FESS UP AND APOLOGIZE... but then I picture his STUPID smirking face and I CANT.

Maybe I am in love double.

Doesnt matter if I am... i still did a bad thing.

DAMN.

Well... I'm headed back home now. 8:41. I'm gonna pack my shit, change, watch youtube,,,, I guess I should check my google classroom and like. do my fucking homework... cos I haven't done it yet.

Then I'll update yall.

11:51 p.m.

Hey guys I'm back with an update.

I talked with both of then... star doesnt seem interested in having an actual conversation,,, shes just talking about random bs. Which is fine but I dont rly get what shes saying half the time COS SHES NOT BLUNT ENOUGH. and then the other half shes going on about how much she hates life. Like.

I do love her. We've bonded. I AM concerned about her. But sometimes I feel like she doesn't really try. Like I can talk her down from suicide all I want but everything I say is wrong and cliched and based off my own experience with suicidal thoughts and like... my mentality has always been sorta toxicly masculine. Push through, and push through alone. I CANT ALWAYS HELP! And it makes me feel shitty. Idk. She'll be okay, I know so cos of her story posts and drawings.

I feel bad but I know I can't help much. We talked a little. Idk, we didnt get anywhere. I love her but shes acting in a way that tells me soemthing is wrong but I CANT FIX THAT THING. SO. yeah, theres not much to say. I wish I could take away all her pain but I can't.

I talked to Jay as well... I DONT KNOW WHATS HAPPENING BECAUSE I LIKE HIM SO SO MUCH. SO MUCH. HES LITERALLY PERFECT. sexy, kind and super considerate, he always makes sure I'm comfortable... I dont KNOW,,, hes sweet.

Hes not romantically interested in me. Which is a bit sad. Sometimes I want to tell him "I love you!!!" But then I remember that we are, in his words, friends with benefits. Fuck buddies. Two horny teenage boys who just wanna fuck... and be friends. That's all. That's us. We aren't romantically involved nor will we ever be. I hate how my brain gets so attached to anyone I fuck... especially since I kinda see Jay as an "older brother" figure, which makes no sense until you actually meet him and vibe with him... and like,,, I've always wanted that?

Tommorow I'm gonna ask for him to come over to watch a movie... but idk if I should actually ask because my parents kinda hate me now for fucking up so much. I'll do my homework and clean my room first... which will take up all my time proabably :( it's okay. Maybe some other time :(

I dont want him to lose interest in me though.

.... its 1:56 a.m.

Okay. Okay. I'll say it. I love him.

Goodnight, tumblr.

-Jude

#JudeJournals #jude shepard #tumblr diary #journal

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