#her instructions were so vague and she doesn’t give feedback. i never know if i’m right about what i’m saying | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

quietmyfearswith · 3 years

Text

the mission ; syverson x stucky x fem!reader

status — completed oneshot

word count — 4,350 words

warnings — SMUT, double penetration, triple penetration??? oral sex (giving and receiving), foursome, unprotected sex(dont do this), swear words, competition(ish)

pairing — syverson x stucky x fem!reader

a/n — DNI IF YOU ARE UNDER 18,, pretty self-indulgent so what about it,, wanted to post this as my first fic for 2021 so we can start the year with a bang but hey the year is still new so hope this counts,, feedback is appreciated

masterlist

“Tell me again, why are we meeting up with this person?” If you told people that there were times that Steve — Captain America as most of them are most familiar with — was egotistical enough to the point that he believed that intel from outsiders weren’t needed, they wouldn’t believe you unless they saw how he was currently. When the military told them that some of their men have discovered remnants of HYDRA, Steve was fine with that vague lead since he thought that they could take it from there. However, his pride took a hit when the military insisted that one of their men be sent over to the compound to assist them.

Y/N then scheduled for Captain Syverson to meet with Captain Rogers and Sergeant Barnes so they could discuss what the special operations captain saw. Sighing irritatedly, the assistant of the Avengers paused in the middle of the hallway so she could look the super soldier in the eye, “Look Captain, I know you think you can do this alone — you’ve proven to me and your fellow Avengers that you can — but the military and government believes that you need more hands on deck, okay?”

Crossing his arms, Steve opened his mouth to argue but opted not to, “Good, now behave okay? Bucky’s almost done training the recruits; so he’ll be joining us shortly.” As she walked away from where they stood, the captain bit his lip as he watched her ass and legs strut away in the green and white plaid dress that she was donning. Hearing her fingers snap together brought him back to reality and made him follow her steps.

“Captain Rogers, meet Captain Syverson from the military’s special operations,” Y/N introduced the two men to each other, who were visibly appalled at the thought of having to shake hands, but a stern look from the girl standing between them prompted the Texan captain to hold out his hand to which the Brooklyn captain shook briefly but with a tight grip before letting go. “We appreciate you coming here, Captain Syverson.”

His response surprised Y/N, but in a good way, and she smiled brightly at the simple interaction the two had. “You can call me Sy; only prefer being called Captain by those who are under me.” The wink he sent the only girl present in the room gave her the implication that there was a double entendre in his statement; whereas the enhanced super soldier caught on and was displeased with how he was hitting on Y/N.

Puffing out his chest and rested his hands on his belt buckle, “Well Sy, why don’t you share with us what it is you saw.” Nodding, Sy grabbed the folder he brought with him and handed it over to the Captain; Y/N was setting up the laptop and projector that was in the conference room. Steve skimmed through the files as Y/N displayed some of the satellite images that were taken. “Have you or any of your team members been inside the facility?”

Shaking his head no Sy explained, “We didn’t dare to. Though I had some soldiers stake out and in their week of monitoring they didn’t notice anyone come in or out.” Placing the folder on the desk, Steve instructed Y/N to show more of the pictures and she complied, “How come you didn’t get in and check it out? Isn’t that what a captain does?”

“Steve,” Y/N scolded him as she looked at him with a warning look but despite her piercing gaze he remained unfazed as he gave a challenging stare to the other captain — one which Sy wasn’t afraid of. “A captain’s duty is to lead his soldiers and make the right calls; it wasn’t our mission to look for the abandoned facility but we found it anyway. We just ensured that there wouldn’t be any criminals that we could possibly encounter that would interfere with our mission.”

The tension was thick in the air when Steve gulped down — not wanting to admit that Sy made a valid point. Striving to cut the tension in the room, Y/N stood up as she spoke, “Okay, great points. Should you plan to check the place out,” She was talking to Steve who was intently looking at her with a look he’s never given her before; she struggled to continue with her point with how intense his stare was, “Secretary Ross decided that it might be better for you to tag along,” Sy nodded as he was being talked to.

“Just me? Or would my men be included?” Sitting back down on her chair she browsed through some of the files she had prepared for their meeting as the two men watched her like a hawk, “They want you out on the field along with Steve and Bucky; but your other men can help behind the scenes.”

Displeased with the new information, Steve crossed his arms from where he was seated, “No, he is not joining us on the field,” He was now standing up, as if he was trying to assert his dominance and authority over the other captain who seemed undaunted as he stood tall. “Why the hell not?”

“Jesus Christ, stop it, the two of you!” Y/N held out her hands to create space between the two charging bodies, her hands landed on their pecs and she had to stop herself from enjoying the feel of their skin against her fingertips, “You both need to calm your asses down! I don't know what it is about each other that ticked you off but you guys are gonna have to work together. Now, why don’t we calm down and try to get along?”

Running a hand through his buzz cut hair, Sy was the first one to speak since he wanted to charm Y/N, “I’m really sorry about my behavior, love,” His larger hand reached for hers and placed a kiss on the back of her palm; Steve sharply looked at how affectionately the other captain gazed at the assistant who had been responsible for his orgams without her even knowing it, “I’m gonna be on my best from now on; especially when I work with the former soldiers.”

Having enough of what he said Steve made his way to the two of them, breaking off their clasped hands so he could hold Y/N’s, planting himself between the two he gruffly said, “You know what bothers me? Is the way you’re hitting on Y/N.” Sy could not hold back the smirk as he somewhat felt a sick pride rush over him seeing the infamous hero getting riled up because of him, “Don’t recall you being her boyfriend; so really I can flirt with her as much as I want.”

She doesn’t know why, but Y/N was extremely aroused with the way they discussed her as if she weren’t there. Ultimately it was the way they both battled for her really made her panties dampen. “Who would you rather fuck?” The blunt question had her jaw dropping in shock and disbelief; she always knew how Steve was direct to the point, but never expected him to be straightforward in a sexual context.

“I don’t know,” Her eyes darted back and forth from the two captains, “You’re both very attractive; but I never imagined both of you being attracted to me.” It was difficult for her to hide the faint traces of her insecurities which the two men were quick to pick up. Steve caressed her hand that he held as he sincerely cooed at her, “How can I not want you? And I’m not just talking about your divine body. Your patience in handling us is unlike any other. You’re extremely compassionate and kind. When I look at you I see a woman whose beauty on the outside matches the beauty within.”

The other hand that Sy held was being placed with a kiss that despite being gentle was contradicted with the rough sensations of his beard, “I’ve only known you for a while but I have to second the motion; you are a force to be reckoned with. While there are parts of you that clearly cannot be tamed and that your fire was meant to remained ablaze,” He hoped that she got his reference of her dangerous line of work and with the small nod she gave him affirmed so, “But you also have the tranquility that a mother possesses.”

A small smile broke out of Y/N’s face after their speeches; but the serene moment quickly faded when the super soldier brought her hand to his crotch, letting the wide-eyed girl feel the hard on that he frequently spotted around her. “This is just one of the other pieces of evidence I have about how great you are.” Walking up to stand beside Steve, Sy grabbed her other hand and pressed against his own staring erection as he smugly boasted, “But this is a bigger evidence of how much I appreciate you, sunshine.”

“I’m flattered,” Y/N nervously began as her eyes darted back and forth from the two large men, pulling away her hands from their hardened cock as she felt incredibly shy about the whole ordeal, but it wasn’t an answer that pleased either of them or answered Steve’s earlier question. “But the question is still left unanswered Y/N,” The blonde man to her right reminded her, “Who would you rather fuck?”

Gulping down her nervousness before answering, “Honestly? I want you both.” Even though she shyly confessed that, it was all the fuel both captains needed for their ego as they silently just had established a competition between themselves — get her to feel confident about herself as they both intend on making her so cum hard the only thing she’ll remember is their name. Steve brought a finger underneath her chin, lifting her gaze up to match his hooded eyes, “You’re beautiful, Y/N,” He affirmed to her before bringing their lips to touch gently. Eyes closing as the super soldier savored the feeling of her lips that he's been dreaming for so long; and his dreams couldn’t even compare to the feel and taste of her lips.

As their lips pulled away from the steamy kiss, Sy tore away her lips and planted his own lips against hers, “Absolutely stunning, one of a kind,” Were the words he spoke as their lips locked and tongues danced. Feeling his beard tickle her neck as his lips trailed down her jaw and neck, she giggled lightly and opened her eyes to view Steve whose eyes darkened — though she didn’t know that it was due to his lust and longing for her, as well as the jealousy due to the scene unfolding in front of him. Pulling away from the kiss, Sy then lifted her up to the table and sat her down. Without even speaking, he made his move to undress her — grabbing the cloth by her cleavage, ripping the dress in two to expose how she chose to forego a bra and was only wearing a poor excuse of panties; the Texas raised captain could only smirk as he went down on his knees while he slid her lace undergarment down her legs.

“What a devious little thing you are,” Her attention was shifted to the Brooklyn-raised captain as he spoke; she instinctively spread her legs which didn’t go unnoticed by Sy who smirked in appreciation before lunging forward to lick her through her panties — causing her to gasp out loud, rolling her eyes at the pleasure. Annoyed with how he was being undermined, Steve grabbed for Y/N’s cheeks and kissed her fervently, making him moan in bliss as the kiss exceeded his dreams and expectations. “This what you want? Want two men proving to you how goddamn beautiful you are?”

The question was rhetorical, but somehow she found herself whining as she nodded against his lips where their lips met for a heated kiss. Grinning at her state, Steve ended their kiss as his lips trailed down her chin and to her neck, searching for her sweet spot. Just as he sucked on the skin below her jaw, she tried to squeeze her legs together to alleviate the arousal she was feeling — but it only made Sy smirk and encourage him to push aside her panty and directly get a taste of her.

“I’m gonna taste this pretty pussy okay? Why don’t you show Steve over here what that pretty mouth can do besides ending tension okay?” With a shaky sigh, she nodded as her eyes watched as Steve got on the table, kneeling beside her, all while he undid his belt and pulled the zipper down to free his cock. “I’ve been fantasizing about what that mouth would feel like ever since you joined,” His filthy confession made her bring her thighs together again to relieve her of the ache she felt; but all it did was make her feel again the trimmed hair of Sy who was placing gentle kitten licks on her pussy, “And now I’ll find out if you’re as any good like I thought you would be,” Served as his final warning before kneeling on the table by her head and feeding his cock to her waiting mouth.

Groans were heard from the two captains but for similarly different reasons; Steve loved how his cock slid down her throat easily without gagging, and her hollowed cheeks and expert tongue providing him pleasure but it was also the way her one hand was sliding from his balls to the base of his cock that almost made him cum. Whereas Sy couldn’t get enough of how sweet her juices were; he was sliding two fingers in and out of her, and everytime he pushed them right back it became harder for him to do so with how her walls were resisting them — it made him think about how her walls would resist his cock. “You like this don’t you? Like being used for our pleasure?”

A pathetic whine was all that she could let out seeing as her mouth was preoccupied with Steve’s cock was prohibiting her from speaking clearly. “You’re too invested that you can’t even remove my cock from your mouth to answer properly,” Feeling her nod against his cock just added to the bliss he felt. Shaking his head as he licked her cunt and fingered her pussy, Sy loved it when her thighs were rubbing hard against his beard and some of her juices were sticking to his facial hair.

Y/N was surprised when Steve pulled his cock of her mouth, “Not yet baby, I’m not cumming in your mouth just yet.” With his lips still pressed tightly against her pussy lips, Sy smirked at him, “Or maybe you just can’t cum at all.” That statement reminded both men that even though they intended to make her feel how beautiful she was, they were still competing for her. Sitting up with the support of her elbows, Y/N watched closely as Steve grabbed Sy by the shirt, dragging him away from her pussy, resulting in him sitting up on the floor on his bum. He planted himself on one of the conference chairs and once settled, grabbed Y/N’s hips so she was straddling hovering his cock, “It’s because I’d rather cum inside her pussy.”

With one hand on her hip, the other one guided his cock in her tight canal easily. “Oh fuck, you’re so big,” She moaned as she rested her hands on his shoulders as she rode him slowly, getting used to his size. Calloused hands were on her ass as Steve guided the pace in which they were fucking. His lips were pressing firmly against her breasts, leaving his traes of desire on them. As her eyes were closed in pleasure, she didn’t see how Sy was freeing himself from the restrains of his pants; after doing so he stood up from the floor and sat down on the conference table.

“You’re gonna suck my cock while you ride his dick; so turn around,” It took a while before she did so, but Y/N had to push Steve’s face gently from where his mouth had been enveloping her nipple. She turned around to face Sy who was stroking his cock with hunger on his eyes; moving her hair from her face, she rested her hands on the knees of the man in front of her before lowering her lips to wrap it around the tip of his cock. “That’s a good girl,” He sighed out in pleasure, one hand finding purchase on her hair.

Jealous at the thought of having to share her or her attention, Steve kicked off the chair he was sitting on and stood on his feet and helped Y/N to do the same. With her bent over, the super soldier grabbed for her hips and rammed in and out of her pussy with short and rapid thrusts. Sy allowed her to take control of how she wanted to suck him, but he couldn’t help himself as he thrusted his cock in her mouth a few times, relishing in the moans she let out when he did so. “See what you do to us?” Steve asked as he felt his tip graze her sensitive spot, feeling her thighs shiver leaving him to hold both thighs in his hands.

“You make us feral,” Sy continued his train of thought as his hand added pressure on the nape of your neck, making you take him deeper, “You’re so goddamn beautiful that you make us lose all logic.” It was amazing to him how her tiny throat could accommodate all of him, and the way her nails dug into his thighs only added to his pleasure.

Bucky had just finished his training session with the recruits and was dying to get to his room to shower off the filth and sweat. Before getting to do that he first had to meet with a captain that was said to have intel about HYDRA; so imagine his surprise when he enters the conference room and sees three people fucking and not discussing mission details.

A man with a buzz cut — he inferred that was Sy — was sitting on the desk with his head thrown back in bliss as he was being given a blowjob by Y/N — the Avengers’ secretary whom he had been fantasizing about — while she in turn was being fucked in the pussy by Steve. “Well if I knew the meeting would look like this I would’ve ended the training session.”

Steve just smirked at his best friend who was leaning against the wall, “This is Sy,” He nodded to the man sitting at the desk who waved with his free hand from Y/N’s hair. Approaching the three of them Bucky inquired, “She any good at sucking cock?”

“The best; gag reflex is practically non-existent,” Steve recalled as he was now rubbing her clit, loving the way she was squirming against his body. Her hands were settled on Sy’s thighs, anchoring herself and leaving nail marks on his skin. “Her throat is tight but I doubt it’s tighter than her pussy.”

Bucky grabbed her hair to stop her from sucking on Sy’s cock, “Never pegged you to be a willing cumdump; you just needed a lot of cocks to fulfill you huh?” Despite her face having a mixture of saliva and the precum of both captains, she bashfully smiled at the sergeant. Stroking her cheek gently, the Texan captain demanded a verbal answer, “If he asks you a question you are expected to answer, beautiful.” Feeling the force of Steve’s harsh thrust, she managed to let out a choked out response, “Yes! I need a lot of cocks to satisfy me.”

Halting his assault on her pussy, Steve slid his cock out of her, “I’m gonna fuck her ass, Sy you get her pussy, Buck you start with her mouth first.” When Sy pulled her off his cock, Y/N was able to gulp nervously at the thought of taking all them at once; however she wasn’t given enough time to react to it as Sy was dragging her to ride him as he sat at a chair. Carefully, he helped her descent on his cock as the man groaned against her neck when he felt how her warm and wet she was, “Did the captain really fuck you, beautiful? You’re still so fucking tight.”

“I did, and I fucked her good,” Steve asserted as he lined his cock up behind her other hole, “That’s just another reason why you’re beautiful, doll. You’re just so fucking tight no matter how fucked you are,” And to emphasize his point, he slide his tip inside her ass and stilled upon feeling her walls constricting around him. “Goddamn, doll,” Steve breathed out as he shoved more of his cock inside her, his whole cock now shoved deep in her ass.

Her mouth hung agape as she felt two cocks having a go in her — loving the way she was never fully empty since when one thrust out, another slammed right back in. Taking advantage of her opened mouth, Bucky stood by the side of the chair and presented his cock to her, “Take it all in princess.” Like an obedient girl, she did wrap her lips around the ridge of his cock and began sucking on it as best she could.

“See what you do, doll? You make us go ravenous for you,” Steve emphasized his point as he mercilessly thrusts in and out of her ass despite her walls clinging to him, begging him to ease down. Agreeing with the captain, Sy sucked on her nipple harder as he thrusted sharply on her pussy, “Make us want to shower you with cum to prove how divine you are.”

Stroking her face gently contradicted how ruthless Bucky treated her mouth as his balls were slapping her chin repeatedly — allowing some of her drool and his precum to fall graceless from her mouth — before adding, “Only a pretty girl like you can make three soldiers fall apart.”

And fall apart was exactly what was bound to happen as Steve planted his hands on her hips so he could gain enough leverage to fuck her ass relentlessly, until his balls slammed against the rim of her opening, until he felt himself come undone with one final thrust all the way inside her. “Fucking hell,” He panted out against her back as he felt himself unload almost a year of desire inside her.

With much reluctance, Steve pulled out of her ass and rested against the conference table to catch his breath and recover. This then allowed Sy to knead his hands into the skin of her ass so he could move her up and down his cock, chasing his own impending orgasm. “Cum with me, beautiful,” He harshly demanded against her skin as moved her in time with his thrusts, “Let me feel you fall apart and come on my cock.” And to prove how badly he wanted — no, needed — to feel her hug his cock even tighter as she spasmed in pleasure — her to cum, he slid in and out of her at a rapid pace until she was clawing at his chest and he felt her body tense up then relax as she coated his cock with cum.

Moaning out at the relief of her release, Bucky enjoyed the added vibrations on his cock — adding to the pleasure as her tongue licked and swirled around the underside of his cock — while watching her ride out her orgasm. It wasn’t long before Sy too stilled his movements so he could release his seed in her. “Fuck so good!” He yelled out as he stayed inside her, relishing the feel of their combined juices. Seeing how her mouth went slack and her lips weren’t sucking on his cock anymore, the sergeant pulled out and stroked his cock as he rubbed the tip of his cock against her nipple. Shivering at the sensation, she stared at him with doe eyes as her dainty hands wrapped around the base of his cock and his balls, “Cum for me, Bucky.” It was the way she sultrily whispered it that made him throw his head back and moan as he covered her gorgeous tits with his cum.

Loving the way her breasts were marked with his cum, she tried to milk more out of the super soldier by rubbing the tip of his cock with her thumb as the other hand fondled his balls gently. “You’re one special girl,” Steve spoke as he watched intently the scene in front of him. Smiling at the praise, Y/N stopped stroking Bucky’s cock when she milked him already. After leaning down to press a chaste, sweet kiss on Sy’s lips, she removed his cock from where it was deeply planted on her — with a moan falling from her lips — before standing up and heading to where Steve was in order to do the same.

“Thank you for proving how beautiful I am,” She sweetly thanked them once she pulled away from the kiss. “Now hold on,” Bucky spoke as he made his way to stand beside Y/N, “I think you’re gonna need more proof of how beautiful you are.”

Catching his drift, Sy sat up straighter in the chair before agreeing, “Exactly, and we might need to give you individually are our own reasons.” She held her breath once more as she felt Steve pepper kisses on her shoulder, “Think you can handle us individually, doll?”

Desperately, she nodded as she enjoyed the feel of his lips kissing her skin. With two fingers grabbing onto her chin, Bucky made her face him, “Good, ‘cause I haven’t been inside that lovely pussy and ass of yours. Oh, and I got a long list of what makes you fucking beautiful.”

314 notes · View notes

hadtochangemyurlquick · 3 years

Note

your writing is so so great! could I please request a one shot where maybe Toni falls of a cliff/gets injured badly in order to protect Shelby and her friends and they are insanely worried (both for Toni and Shelby’s mental wellbeing) JUST LIKE IN YOUR LAST ONE SHOT, I actually think the girls are the best thing Toni could ever get and she deserves all of the comfort and love

it’s 2.3k of hurt/comfort fresh off the presses. i have not even read it. initially it was gonna be a lot angstier but i couldn’t make the stakes high enough in that so we’re sticking with this for now. i’ll post it on a03 as soon as i get positive feedback bc i crave validation and also i ahve not eaten lunch and am running on three hours of sleep and if you’re wondering if that’s your fault. well.

Toni woke up and groaned, her head pounded and she was cold all over, shivers wracking her body.

She gave a slow cough, and dust rattled around in her lungs.

She was alive, at least. That was something.

Fuck, Shelby.

“Shelby?” Her voice was so hoarse it barely pierced the gloom, but it was clear. Toni was alone.

The worst of her injuries seemed to be her leg, which was trapped under a rock she didn’t have the leverage to move. She didn’t have the space to move at all actually. There was no light in the alcove, or the space between rocks she was in, but hopefully it wasn’t airtight.

Her head was bleeding, and her back was bruised, and there were scrapes up and down her arms, but she could really barely feel her leg.

There was water, which was very very bad, but it was only ankle deep, and the soft trickle she heard did not indicate she only had a few hours left.

The thunderstorm had come on suddenly, tropical ones sometimes do. It wasn’t Toni’s first time caught up in one, usually they were in the trees and they had to race for a nearby cave or the beach just in case lightning decided to strike. But she and Shelby had been by the cliffs, looking for more caves or maybe a place to get ten minutes to themselves.

The rain had dropped down like a hammer, the wind was strong enough it carried them both off their feet. Toni remembered, vaguely, being slammed into something hard. She grabbed Shelby’s hand and kept them going against it, wind and hail pelting them hard enough to bruise. She hadn’t heard the distant rumbling, stupid, but had shoved Shelby into a cave and at the wrong second her grip slipped and the wind picked up, and she was flung away.

She crawled into some pace between rocks and the rumble had been a mud slide. Everything was kinda hazy after that.

At least the storm seemed to have stopped. She rubbed her eyes and winced at the pain in her head. Probably a concussion.

God what if Shelby was buried too? What if Shelby was dead?

That was a nasty storm, what if the other girls were hurt, even if they were on the beach?

What if Toni died here, alone and cold and bleeding and hurt?

“Toni!” Someone screamed.

She closed her eyes, allowing herself to sink into the relief. From how far away they were, and muffled by the rock slide, she couldn’t recognize it, but she’d give anything that it was Shelby.

“Toni!”

She tried to call back but her voice wouldn’t let out much more than a rasp and a series of coughs that shook her to her spine.

She tried slamming her fist against the rock ceiling but that made the water at the bottom start trickling faster.

“Toni!”

The voice sounded further away and she began to panic, what if that was her last shot?

“Toni!”

She settled for slow scratching at the mud trapping her in and the voice started getting closer again.

“I think I hear something over here!” Someone called. “Toni, is that you?”

“Yes,” she tried to rasp out, “Yes, I’m here!”

“I can’t hear anything,” someone said.

She kept scratching.

“There’s definitely something there,” someone said. “Maybe it’s an animal or something.”

“She has to be around here somewhere,” someone said. “TONI!”

The water around her ankles was filling up faster, had almost reached her navel. The more she scratched the higher she got, the rocks behind her head felt less stable.

“Toni if that’s you knock twice okay?” Someone said.

She knocked twice.

“Guys she’s down here!”

There are more voices, scratches and banging around on top of her head. It all feels incredibly dangerous, like they might get sucked down too, but she doesn’t have a way to warn them.

In the end Dot managed to get them to their senses, got them to stand back and used the hatchet to slowly carve a hole in. It was enough for her to peer through and Toni realized what she must’ve looked like. Bloody and pale and broken.

“Yalright Toni?” Dot asked.

Toni shook her head, and with the penlight she knew Dot could see it. At least the fresh air was nice, she suspected the ventilation wasn’t as great as she thought it initially was.

Dot pulled away to address everyone. “Okay guys, it’s filling with water which means we have to be super careful.” Dot reappeared, “Any major injuries?”

“Leg,” Toni tried to rasp out.

“What’s that?”

Toni pointed at her leg.

“Ah shit, is it trapped?” Dot asked.

Toni nodded.

Dot disappeared again and her voice was too quiet for Toni to make out.

“Toni?” It was Martha, which at least meant she was okay. “We’re gonna get you out of there you just have to stay calm.”

Where the fuck was Shelby?

The hole they dug got a little wider, she could hear Dot over-exerting herself, Fatin simply exerting herself, Leah going into hyper drive. Nora gave instructions from the sidelines and Martha kept talking to her.

Where was Shelby where was she.

When Dot’s hand finally managed to reach her hand Toni let out her first audible noise in hours and it was a scream of pain. Her leg felt like it was falling out of her socket and she collapsed back into the water with a splash, it now at chest height.

“Toni,” Martha’s voice returned, “We might have to amputate.”

“No,” Toni rasped, tears streaked down her dusty face. “Please no.”

She knew they couldn’t hear her but still. She found herself begging, begging like she never had before.

“Shelby wants to talk to you,” Martha said, she sounded unsure. “Is that okay?”

Toni nodded, as aggressively as she could. So Shelby was okay, it was her voice in the beginning.

“Toni,” there was Shelby’s voice, she almost closed her eyes at the sound of it, but she didn’t want to miss her eyes. “Toni I’m here.” She reached her hand out and Toni bent as far as she could, letting their fingers intertwine in a loose hold before she collapsed back down again. “We’re gonna get you out of this, okay?”

Toni wiped at her eyes. “Shelby.”

“I promise,” Shelby said, “you’re gonna be just fine.”

They managed to carve her out, Toni wasn’t quite sure how. She faded out after a few hours, when the water reached her chin. When she woke up she was back on the beach, in clean clothes in the shelter, her leg was elevated and wrong looking, and her head was in Martha’s lap.

“You’re awake,” Martha said, Toni’s hair was probably filled with a million different braids. “Let me get Dot, alright?”

Toni nodded and to her horror tears started streaming down her cheeks the moment Martha left. Maybe it was exhaustion, pain, but it felt like fear. That all consuming crippling terror.

“Hey,” it was Shelby’s voice, not Dot’s, that came through the shelter. She spotted the tears immediately and Toni closed her eyes, willing them to stop. A soft, calloused finger, wiped them away and Toni leant into the touch so desperate and cold and her arms wrapped around Shelby as Shelby lifted her just a little into her arms.

“You’re alright,” Shelby said. “I’ve got you.”

Toni was aware she was shivering and shaking, her entire body felt weaker than it ever had.

“I’ve got meds for you, alright?” Shelby said. She pulled away. “You need to eat somethin first, and drink somethin, you’re probably dehydrated.”

She helped Toni sit up against one of Fatin’s balled up sweaters and gave her some of the goat jerky Shelby had managed to smoke. Toni chewed slowly and felt exhausted afterwards, and didn’t argue when Shelby handed her a pill and some water. She fell asleep to Shelby’s hands caressing hers.

Things faded in and out. Shelby and Martha were both there as much as they could be but it was Rachel who took up the mantel more often than not. One hand meant taking care of Toni was about as productive as she could get.

“How does the leg feel?” Rachel asked, when Toni was more lucid than usual.

“I can’t feel it,” Toni said. “Probably not a great sign.”

“Well I wouldn’t worry too much about that. Dot said we got to wean you off of the painkillers because you might get addicted.”

Toni rubbed her eyes, the last thing she wanted to think about right now was her mother.

“I’m also probably blowing through the stash,” she said.

“Hopefully this is the last major injury we get,” Rachel said. Toni looked at her. “Fine. Be that way.”

They were silent for awhile, Rachel picking at some of her bandages and Toni focusing on the sounds of the waves crashing against the shore.

“I don’t think Shelby’s a homophobe,” Rachel said. Toni looked at her, “I know I know but—she was really freaked out when we found her. She’s definitely got a major guilt complex or something, but I don’t think she hates you. At least not anymore.”

“Okay,” Toni swallowed hard.

“I just mean—ugh,” Rachel went from picking at her bandage to picking at her clothes. “Listen I’m not saying you have to forgive her but just like. You didn’t see her once we found you. She was freaking out man, kept saying how god had taken you. Remind me never to go to Texas like she and Dot keep inviting me?”

“Can’t be all bad,” Toni said, ignoring everything else Rachel just said. “I hear the Mexican food is great.”

Rachel hummed.

“Hey,” Toni kept her voice soft when Shelby came in that night with dinner. “I wanna talk to you.”

“Eat first,” Shelby said. “I need to check your scrapes. How does your head feel?”

“Like I have a mild concussion,” Toni said.

Shelby re-bandaged the worst of the scrapes, and cleaned them again. A lot of them were so bad they were yellow with pus, and likely Toni would have wicked scars there.

“Nora said it was an off shore hurricane, one of those that dies before it reaches the mainland. It was probably almost dead which is why it only last a few hours.”

“Oh,” Toni said. “Does that mean were close to somewhere?”

“It could, but it might mean we’re closer to Japan,” Shelby said. “How’s the leg?”

“I can’t feel it,” Toni said. Shelby nodded.

“Dot wants you to only use the meds to sleep,” Shelby said.

“It’s a good idea, with like—my mom and everything,” Toni looked away and Shelby took her hand.

“You know I don’t think less of you for that, right?”

Toni nodded.

“Good.”

They ate in relative quiet, for dessert there were lychees which Shelby had evidently picked up for the two of them if her blushing was anything to go by.

“I wanna talk to you about something,” Toni said at last. Shelby nodded. “Rachel was talking to me about how they found you.”

Shelby frowned, “alright?”

“Did you—“ Toni furrowed her brow, “Shelby did you really think god had taken me away or something?”

Shelby looked away away, fidgeting with that damned cross necklace. “Toni you didn’t see it.”

“Shelby I’m pretty sure I’m the only other one who did.”

Shelby shook her head, “No, no Toni you didn’t see it—not the way I did. The storm came on so suddenly, and there was lightning and thunder everywhere, and your hand was in mine but I turned around I just barely saw you go flying, like you were actually being sucked up into the sky.”

“But I’m okay,” Toni said.

“No,” Shelby kept shaking her head, “It was my fault. If I had held on a little tighter, or if I hadn’t been there you wouldn’t have been there at all.”

“I would still be on this island—“

“None of this would’ve happened if I hadn’t been here,” Shelby said. “Don’t you see? I had feelings for you and you got food poisoning, we kissed and everyone nearly starved, Rachel got attacked by a shark after we had sex—Toni what more do you need?”

“Shelby,” Toni grabbed her hand and squeezed.

“I mean you got pulled away by Him when I was about to tell you I—“ Shelby cut herself off. “It’s a sign, is all. It’s a sign.”

“Shelby look at me.”

When Shelby does her eyes are red and wide and scared.

“Shelby do you really think God would kill me for this,” Toni traced a thumb over Shelby’s hand. “For loving you?”

Shelby swallowed hard. “I can’t rightly say.”

“Shelby,” Toni’s voice cracked, and she couldn’t even blame it on the dust. “You really think he’d do that? Kill some random ass teenage girl because she happened to love another teenage girl? I know I don’t know a lot about the Bible but I’m pretty sure Jesus was too busy turning water into wine to worry about if a couple of girls were kissing behind the church.”

Shelby kinda smiled at that and Toni ached to pull her into her arms, to run her fingers through her matted her and kiss her until the cows came home. Or the goats. But her body was too weak, and she had to settle for pressing a kiss to Shelby’s knuckles.

“I love you,” Toni said. “Now say it back.”

Shelby looked at the door to the tent, worrying her jaw, she looked back at Toni, “I love you too.”

She flinched and waited, but all they heard was the gentle crashing of distant waves and Shelby seemed to sag.

“I’m gonna be fine,” Toni said. “And we’re gonna be fine. And I love you.”

Shelby nodded, “I love you too.”

#gus writes #gus answers #the wilds fanfic #the wilds #shoni #goodfoe #goodfoe fanfic #ren don't #shelby goodkind #toni shalifoe #send prompts bitches

40 notes · View notes

penguiduck · 4 years

Text

The Relationship Between Online Readers & Writers: How to Write the Best Feedback

Introduction | Part 1: What is this Relationship? | Part 2: Creating Motivation and Appreciation for Readers | Part 3: A Day in the Life of… | Part 4: Creating Motivation and Appreciation for Writers: Perspectives | Part 5: Creating Motivation and Appreciation for Writers: Implementation | Part 6: How to Write the Best Feedback | Part 7: Where Does This Leave Us?

Since I've put so much emphasis on providing feedback, I believe it's only fair if I offer some instruction as well.

1. Thank your writers. They put a lot of work into producing this content for you — it is only gracious to thank them for their efforts. If someone gave you a piece of art or a homemade gift, the correct response is gratitude. Why is writing any different?

2. Be personal. It goes without saying, but writers are not robots who can crank out writing nonstop. They are providing you content that is creative and comes from the heart — the writing process is a subjective, tedious one. I think it is only gracious to reflect that same warmth and care in your feedback. Speak human to human. There is someone with very real feelings and thoughts on the other side of the screen.

What are some ways to be personal?

a) Pay attention to writers’ notes. There may be certain events going on in their lives. Maybe they’re struggling with the illness of a family member or celebrating a positive experience. They obviously only include information they wish to share. If a friend came up to you and said “It’s my birthday!” would you ignore them? Probably not; it doesn’t seem polite. Or if a friend said “I’m feeling a little bummed out. My dog passed away,” the socially correct response is to offer your condolences.

b) If you happen to realize that the writer is reaching a milestone — 100 chapters, one-year anniversary on AO3, etc. — celebrate it! Congratulate them!

c) Bring up past conversations. While your feedback is speaking to the writing, you are allowed to bring up past interactions that can enrich your comments. Maybe the writer mentioned something about a plot twist a while back. Adding a “I remember you mentioning this!” can really make writers feel special because that means you were paying attention.

3. Be specific and relevant.

I mentioned this in the previous chapter, but I think it’s worth mentioning again: I have a fuel tank for my inspiration when it comes to writing. I can run on a near-empty tank, but it’s difficult for me to do, and I struggle with creating content. It’s far easier for me to write and put out quality work when my inspiration tank is full. Every piece of feedback I receive fills it with a certain amount of inspiration.

Quality feedback refills my inspiration tank far more quickly than vague and general comments do. What are ways in which you can be specific and relevant to increase the quality of your comments?

a) You’re obviously reading this particular piece of writing for a reason. What makes you choose this story over others? What makes it special or unique? Is it the writer’s personal style? Their knack for detail and imagery? Do their sentences flow beautifully? Is their characterization spot-on? Tell them why you choose to spend your precious time reading their writing!

b) What about the characters? Does your writer have a strong grasp on keeping these characters true to their original interpretations? Are they exploring facets of their characters that you’ve never seen done before in other fanfiction? Is there a particular character that gives you the warm fuzzies, especially because of the way they are written? Is there someone you really don’t like? Why?

c) Be relevant. Leaving a comment like “PIES. I LOVE PIES” when there is a brief mention of a pie in the story doesn’t tell writers very much, unless you explain why this particular item is of note to you. Otherwise, this is not unlike going to your friend’s choir recital. Maybe she sings something from “The Lion King,” and your response is, “I like warthogs.” It’s a pretty strange comment that doesn’t speak to her performance. Let’s be a bit more cognizant of how your thoughts can come across relevantly.

Did you like the way they incorporated pies into the piece? Did you find it coincidental that they added pies because you just made one? Instead, you could say something like “I found it really interesting that you had [character name] go with pies because I was just grocery shopping and decided to buy a pie, even though I don’t really have a sweet tooth. It’s pretty impressive, though, for [character name] because pie dough can be really tough to make! I’m impressed he figured it out!”

d) How are you feeling about the progression of the story? The plot? The small details that writers add to make it more interesting? Do you have any thoughts about what might happen next? Would you be particularly excited about a certain event taking place? Perhaps you have a strong opinion on a character’s actions or choices?

e) How does this writer’s work affect you emotionally? Has there ever been a time when you were feeling upset or overwhelmed? Maybe you picked up a story from this writer, and you felt better. For me, knowing that my work can help give someone an escape or a place of respite from the real world is absolutely astonishing. Communicate this with your favorite writers. Trust me — they will be glad to know that they have helped you.

4. Be thoughtful and kind. This should be obvious, but sometimes it’s not.

While I think writers should be open and receptive to constructive criticism, I also think readers should be sensitive and mindful when giving it. If you are interested in offering criticism, it’s generally good practice to ask if the writer is receptive to it first. I welcome thoughtful criticism, but others may not. Criticism, no matter how fair or unfair, can be absolutely devastating to writers who are not ready for it. Harsh criticism can even break someone’s spirit.

Writers are artists who wish to share their craft with the world for you to enjoy. In doing so, voluntarily or not, they offer their work up to critics — but that doesn’t mean they are necessarily wanting to have their writing picked apart, concept by concept, word by word.

Here are some considerations if you wish to provide constructive criticism:

a) What is your intention? Would providing critical feedback be constructive and useful to the writer? Remember that criticism is meant to help writers become better writers —otherwise, it wouldn’t be constructive. Instead, your comment would be considered malicious, spiteful, or just plain spam. I think it’s vital that you assess this before providing criticism.

b) Is your criticism reasonable?

If you notice some characterization or detail about something canon-specific that is not correct in chapter 1 and the writer is on the 47th chapter, are you expecting them to go back and edit all 47 chapters? This is not a reasonable expectation, and mentioning something like this, correct as you may be, is not helpful and could potentially be very discouraging.

c) Is your criticism well-founded? I understand this is highly subjective, but I’ve received some harsh and nonconstructive criticisms before that don’t have any basis. Either, the commenter completely misinterpreted my meaning without giving me a benefit of the doubt that my intentions were good or they don’t realize I actually addressed their point in future chapters or they were just incorrect in their research. Please make sure that before you submit your constructive criticism, your logic is sound to the best of your ability and that you’ve considered the writer’s point-of-view.

d) Say something nice, please. I don’t think it’s good etiquette to have your first interaction be negative. Providing constructive criticism implies that you care enough about the content and writer to help them improve — if not, hit the back button and move on with your day. If so, then that means there must be something redeeming about the writing that makes you wish to be a part of its success. Show that. Otherwise, your constructive criticism may not come off as constructive at all — instead, it could be interpreted as unkind, and if you really do have best intentions at heart, then being kind is a minimum requirement for interactions.

Talk about what you like about a writer’s work first and even explain why you’re providing criticism. Start with something like: “Hi! I absolutely love that you’re writing for this fandom. I think you write [character name] very well, better than most interpretations I’ve come across! If I may, I’d like to discuss your most recent portrayal of [character name]. I see where you were coming from, but I think he may have been a little too forward because [insert reasons]. What was your thought process behind this? Other that particular scene, I’ve been very pleased with your portrayal! ”

Really, take a page out of Thumper’s book: If you can’t say something nice, don’t say nothing at all.

Below, you will find a hodge-podge of questions that may help you construct your feedback:

Who is your favorite character? Why?

What do you like about this author's writing style?

What makes this piece different than others?

Has any part of this piece/chapter made you smile? What was it?

Give your honest opinion on an character, whether you like or dislike him/her.

How do you like the main character? Why?

What do you think is going to happen next? What makes you think that?

Is there a character you just want to suffocate in hugs?

Do any of the characters remind you of someone else?

What is it about this piece that has had you following it for so long?

If there is a cliffhanger, what makes you so anxious to see what happens next?

How do you think this story will end?

How will this piece ending make you feel? Will you be sad that it's over?

Is there a character you pity?

How do you feel about the villain(s)?

If this story were real and you really were the main character, who would be your best friend?

For WWYFFs, who is your favorite bachelor? Why? Can you even choose one?

Has this author ever written a part in this piece that made you uncomfortable? Why?

What's your overall opinion on the main character's behavior?

Did a part in this piece/chapter make you crack up? What was it?

Do silly thoughts ever enter your head while reading this piece?

Tell the writer how much you love them for writing this.

If the writer has any RL issues or concerns, respond to them (condolences, best wishes, etc.).

Did the antagonist ever do something where you just wanted to punch him/her in the face?

Has this story ever been an escape for you?

Do you ever think of this story out in the real world?

Why do you think this is one of your favorite pieces?

Is there something you don't like and would like to change? Be sure this is constructive.

How did this chapter/piece make you feel?

Make a prediction about anything — a character, perhaps?

Do you like how the characters are developing?

Is there a line in this story that made you laugh out loud?

What emotions did you have while reading this? Did you feel angry, frustrated, awkward or sad?

Has there ever been a point in this story when you're on the brink of tears?

Do you feel that this author's specific writing style has contributed to your enjoyment of the piece?

Thank the author for taking the time to update in a very busy period in her life.

Do you have an idea that you wish to share?

Is there anything that confuses you and you wish for clarification?

Is there something in this story that you can't wait to be resolved?

Analyze a character and try to explain why s/he does what s/he does.

Do you for see any problems with this story?

Tell the author how much you appreciate them.

REVIEW/COMMENT TEMPLATES

Finally, I’d like to leave you all with some templates you can use. Of course, it’d be most personal and heartfelt for you to construct your own comments and reviews, but I understand not everyone feels comfortable doing so, and utilizing these templates to help get your thoughts across is certainly better than leaving no feedback at all! Edit whatever you’d like, use pieces, combine templates — it’s in your hands!

LOVE AND GRATITUDE

“Hi! I’m so thrilled to have found this story. I’ve been looking for a good [fandom] fic with a [character names] pairing for a long time now, and to see one of his quality just made my day! Your writing is [superb/detailed/professional/etc.], and your characterization [is honest/is spot-on/makes me weep with joy/etc.]. I am going to be following this with a very close eye. Thank you so much for gracing the world with your beautiful writing!”

“Admittedly, I didn’t think I’d be getting back into [fandom], but I saw your fic and began reading it on a whim. I am now intrigued and looking forward to what happens next. I absolutely love how you portray [character name]. [He/she/they] are exactly how I imagined [him/her/them] to be in this situation that you’ve crafted, and I look forward to more. Can’t wait for the next update!”

“This is brilliant. I’ve never seen another story like this, and I thank you for sharing your talents with us and the [fandom] fandom. You make me gush every time you have scenes like this, and [character name] just makes my heart thud!”

“Ugh, that cliffhanger! D: I can’t believe you just cut it off like that — now I’m going to have to wait impatiently for the next update. I hope [character name] survives. It sounds like a terrible situation to be in, but you wrote it so [beautifully/hauntingly/well/etc.]! Will be eagerly awaiting the next chapter!”

“OH MY HEART. You always create the most [lovable/intimate/disgustingly cute/etc.] moments, and I just want to puke rainbows and sunshine. I LITERALLY SQUEED. In fact, I squeed so loud, my [mother/boyfriend/partner/sister/etc.] asked me what was wrong!”

“Your writing style leaves me [breathless/wanting more/etc.]. <3 The way you string words together is just pure poetry, and it is a [joy/treat/etc.] to read. We need more people like you writing

“I don’t usually read original content online, but this piece caught my eye, and you did not disappoint. The world and plot you’ve created is [creative/heartrending/exciting/etc.], and your characters are [memorable/endearing/so much fun/etc.]! I find myself entranced with [character name]. I feel like I can really relate to [his/her/their] plight. Looking forward to the next update and seeing what [character names] are going to do!”

“This story feel so professionally written to me. You could absolutely take this and publish it. Your writing is [beautiful/flawless/a joy to read/etc.], and I so admire your ability to consistently give us content. Please keep writing and sharing with us! I cannot get enough of [story title], and I look forward to every update.”

“I’m super curious about [character/plot/feature/etc.]! I feel like this is a concept that has been done before, but I’ve never seen it executed as effectively as you have! I am looking forward to reading more about [insert characters] and how they’ll react to [events].

“I cannot tell you how much this story means to me. I know this is just a piece of writing (albeit quality!) posted online, but you have helped me get through some really rough days and events in my life. The way you weave this story and its characters makes me feel like it’s all alive. Sometimes when I’m feeling particularly sad, I just come back to this fic and read a few chapters. Your writing is beautiful and real and optimistic, and it just makes me feel like I can rely on it as a place to retreat to when I need it. Thank you so much for taking your time to write. Your work is truly a treat and blessing.”

“[copy and paste quote from story]

This was my favorite line from the story. I found it so [funny/wholesome/particular/etc.]. You have such a good grasp on [character name/writing dialogue/development/etc.] Looking forward to more!

CHEERS AND CONDOLENCES

“I’m so sorry to hear that you’re having a rough time because of [reasons]. I hope you know that I’m here to support you, and if you need to take a step back from writing for a little while, I completely understand. I always enjoy your work, and for the quality and joy you’re giving us, I think you should take your time and write only when you’re ready to enjoy the process. Please take care! <3 You are in my thoughts!”

“Congratulations on [xyz]! That is such a big milestone, and I’m so happy for you! It’s amazing that despite all of your RL achievements, you’re still willing and able to dedicate the time to write for us. <3 Sending love and support! Keep it up!”

SOME FRIENDLY ADVICE

“Hi! I absolutely love that you’re writing for this [fandom]. I think you write [character name] very well, better than most interpretations I’ve come across! If I may, I’d like to discuss your most recent portrayal of [character name]. I see where you were coming from, but I think [he/she/they] may have been a little too [forward/angry/quiet/etc.] because [insert reasons]. What was your thought process behind this? Other that particular scene, I’ve been very pleased with your portrayal! ”

“First, I am so glad I found this fic. I am impressed by your writing capabilities and think you’re doing a wonderful job! I don’t know if you’re looking for any feedback on [xyz], but I have [experience/knowledge] on [xyz], so I thought I’d shed a bit of light. The only thing I noticed was [reasons] — in reality, [insert explanation]. I can give you a few sources [insert link(s)], if you’re interested in reading more. I am also happy to answer any questions for you! Please let me know how I can help! Like I said, though, aside from that just teeny detail, your writing really is superb. I love your [creativity/portrayal/writing style, etc.]! Can’t wait to read more!”

If you found that this guide or these templates were helpful to you, please share the wealth with other readers and writers!

Also posted on AO3.

#writing #writing tips #writers of tumblr #writeblr #writing advice #writing tutorial #writing help #feedback #readers #providing feedback #writing problems #writing positivity #writers #writing encouragement #writers and readers #kudos #currency

18 notes · View notes

the-canary · 5 years

Text

Bel Ami - B.B (6)

Summary: You had bigger fish to fry in NYC between your new job, living in a new city and old friend – you were sure in over your head, but who’s that cute stranger that keeps helping you out?(Reader/Bucky Barnes)

Prompt: Person A: “Okay, I have something to confess… I like you. I have for the past two years now and it’s been killing me to hold it in this long but I think you deserve to know.” Person B: “You nerd, we’ve been dating for the past two years.

A/N: this is for @sgtjbuccky‘s writing challenge. please welcome to even bigger idiots :)

Feedback is always welcomed.

“Are you telling me that’s the girl Bucky can’t stop thinking of?”

“The exact one.”

“Well, no wonder the date was a failure. You should see the eyes he was making at her.”

“He’s not in love,” Steve remarks as green eyes look at him in disbelief, “His words not mind.”

“That poor deluded bastard.”

You aren’t sure what to think about Bucky and his invasion from before, as the weekend comes closer and he sends you a message to meet near the library close to the Barnes Towers. You are sure it is just meant as a friendship sort of thing and as much as you feel a certain type of disappointment with it all, you are just happy to have Bucky back in your life -- maybe, he’ll bring another dog with him too.

You weren’t sure if in the eleventh hour, you should be freaking about what you should be wearing or enjoying stuffing your face with pizza on the couch and looking for something to watch.

“What do you think that you should be doing right now?” Wanda asks like she knows your inner turmoil, as she watches you hang up from ordering from your favorite pizza place. She is currently putting on some extra earrings, to match her silver heels and red dress for a night out on the town with Viz.

“I think,” you sigh out, “I should forget about this and fantasizing over being Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman again.”

“Richard Gere again?” she questions as she takes a seat across from you and the shitty little thing you call a kitchen countertop.

“Peek Richard Gere,” you correct her as she laughs. You pout for a second, waiting for the second show to drop as Wanda enters mother hen mode.

“If it’s just as friends, just be casual and happy you,” Wanda explains her point-of-view, “If not, maybe you should--”

“I don’t want him like that, Wan,” you whisper as brown eyes give you a sympathetic look.

“I didn’t spend a whole month see you mope over this Borky for you to lie to me,” Wanda fights back, before cupping your cheek so that you could look at her straight in the eyes. You let keep going though you want to correct her and oh so many things, “But, if denial makes it easier for you, and I’ll gladly help with that--”

“But?”

“But,” she starts off once more with a sympathetic smile, “If being around someone hurts you, you can always cut them off. It’s always in your power to do so.”

“I know,” you remark, thinking about why you followed with your plans from moving to New York from Syracuse in the first place, as she smiles and nods once more before the doorbell rings. Maybe, Viz was here to finally pick her up.

She gets up from her place and grabs her bag before looking at you once more: “Enjoy your 90’s movie binge.”

“I’ll try!” you yell back as she disappears through the small hallway and you are left once alone.

Now, you aren’t so sure if you could watch the damn movie without thinking of how much Richard Gere’s character reminded you of one Bucky Barnes, though you weren’t exactly Julia Roberts. Eventually, you decide on watching Top Gun instead and ignoring that denial could be an island of one.

As you binge on old 90’s movies to forget your anxiety over tomorrow, you are completely unaware that there is another person pushing all the details that he loves about New York into the itinerary for tomorrow with a lovestruck look on his face -- though he’ll deny it when asked by Steve or Sam. However, with a certain red-head, it is a completely different story.

“So, I am guessing she’s the reason our date went so bad,” Nat gives him a small smile, though there are no bad feelings behind it, “The one Steve told me about.”

“Stevie doesn’t know what he’s talkin’ about,” Bucky remarks as Natasha gives him a skeptical look, “She’s just a friend.”

Natasha tries her hardest to stop herself from singing the second part to a certain song, as she proceeds to shrug: “Sure, but just remember you’re just going to have the same problem again.”

“I know that,” Bucky remarks in frustration as he pushes a hand through his face, “But, it isn’t like that...I don’t see her in that way.”

Natasha just shakes her head before stating that she has to go back to work and back to seeing Clint, because as least she didn’t have the rich kid problems that came with being one James Buchanan Barnes.

Bucky drives the memory from his head before moving forward with what you guys should have for lunch.

You end up meeting Bucky in the steps of one of older libraries in New York City. The weather is slightly cooler than usual and are falling asleep on the couch after crying over The Green Mile for the what seems like the 20th time, you end up taking a quick shower and picky a breezy open top, a light sweater, and jeans. You aren’t sure what the day is going to entail, but as you see Bucky wearing a simple flannel button up and jeans with Lucas at his side, you can’t help but secretly rejoice over your choice of clothing.

I mean, you didn’t want to seem desperate to the man.

“Morning,” you exclaim with a grin as the large dog perks up for a second, and for a second with those big blue eyes staring at you and you can’t help but hope that Bucky is as well.

“Hey,” Bucky breathe out, as you take a step down and greet Lucas as well. He can’t help but grin at the sight of the dog leaning into your touch before you get up once more and look at him prepared to start the day.

“So, where are we going, oh great tour guide?” you laugh just a little and Bucky can’t help but feel that butterflies in his stomach as his heart speeds up for just a second.

“The Planetarium,” Bucky manages to answer back, as you nod while motioning for Lucas to follow you. The dot agrees to do so with a bark, as Bucky stays in the back.

And as the three of you walk the busy streets of New York, Bucky can’t help but feel like this is going to end up being a very bad idea.

Bucky ends up taking to around Central Park, his favorite bookstore, and a very good pizza place not too far from Madison Square Garden. You also got to know more about Bucky -- about he has gone a few tours when he was younger, how he got connected to the Service Dog Academy he worked with after he came back (as you took Lucas back), and even a little about his family and how he grew up in Brooklyn with his best friend. In exchange, you talked about Wanda and Pietro and how you moved around a lot before settling in Syracuse for the rest of your school, though you didn’t talk much about what lead you to New York.

“Do you like dancing?” Bucky remarks as the afternoon slowly turns into evening and while you had never been the best dancer, you can’t help but want to try it out with Bucky.

“Here and there,” you remark vaguely as Bucky smiles, grabbing your hand and dragging you down the sidewalk.

That’s how you end up at a place called C’mon Everybody.

It’s a quaint little place that seems to be playing a little bit of everything tonight, completely different from that other club where you had meet Bucky before you knew him. However, instead of standing at the sidelines, he quickly grabs a small table, orders drinks, and quickly moves you to the dance floor. You aren’t familiar with some songs, but you do your best with Bucky’s instructions.

It’s a fast twirl of laughs and bad dance moves, as you move from one song to another, quite unsure of where all of this is going but if Bucky is happy you are as well. It hits you like a rock and at that moment, Bucky dips you.

The world pauses and shrinks to the two of you in the darkly lit room, as your eyes meet blue eyes and you realize just how close your face is. Because if you move your face in the right angle, you swear that you could capture his lips with yours and--

That’s when the song comes to an end.

“I have to use the bathroom,” you admit and thus breaking the moment as Bucky lets you go. You run to where the restrooms are indicated to be, as Bucky starts to move towards the table once more. His breathing was a bit heavier than usual, as he tried to calm down whatever adrenaline and emotions he was feeling from that dance.

“Fuck,” he curses to himself, “What the hell was that?”

Bucky knew deep down what it was, everyone had been telling him so for months but now he was finally facing the realization that he really was attracted to you -- he wasn’t sure what to do.

He really couldn’t do anything about it, unless he wanted a Dot incident all over again. Bucky runs a hand through his hair in frustration over his idiocy and just how much he might actually like you. It’s another twenty whole minutes before you come out of the bathroom and by that time he has already called a cab for you.

“W-What?” you manage to stutter out, as Bucky pushes you towards the front of the dance hall. Your heart is jumping in anxiety and fear over what had happened, but you didn’t think that his reaction would have been so negative.

“I-I just realized I have a long day tomorrow,” Bucky remarks trying not to look at your soft lips and watering eyes, “I’m sorry I can’t take you home, but it’s better that way.”

It’s better this way.

The familiar and all too heartbreaking phase causes to you freeze and move forward without another word, as Bucky pushes you into the cab with a weary smile but you aren’t looking at him anymore. You give the man your address and Bucky spots him a hundred before giving you a brief goodbye. He tries to grab your hand but you pull back and say goodnight.

“I’m sorry,” he states, though he isn’t sure if he is saying it for you or for himself as he begins to close the door.

“No,” he hears you whisper, “You aren’t.”

You pull the door to close completely as the cab drives off. You’re left in hurt and confusion as to whether James Barnes was just playing with to begin with or if he just realized he was wasting his time, as you try your hardest not to cry on the way back home.

Bucky is left standing there on the sidewalk, unsure of what to do next but he knows everything is more fucked up than it should be now.

#salinaswritingchallenge #james buchanan barnes #Bucky Barnes #james barnes #james bucky barnes x reader #james buchanan barnes x reader #bucky barnes au #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes modern au #bucky barnes angst #bucky barnes fanfiction #bucky barnes fanfic #bucky barnes fluff #bucky barnes fic #bucky barnes fan fic #series: bel ami #fabiola trying to write

127 notes · View notes

justanotherbuckydevotee · 6 years

Text

lostmyhead - part 2

Word Count: 1,638 words. Prompt : Lovecraftian – Horrible and indescribable platonic love. Or in which you don’t know how to deal with your emotions. Warning(s): Description of injuries. More sad stuff. A/N: Alright, i don’t actually know what I’m doing. This was tough to write and tough to get back to so any feedback would be highly appreciated. Written for @hellomissmabel‘s 2K Birthday Celebration. Thank you for giving me time (i seriously needed it) and i’m sorry this took on a veryyy different route. On this part, we have a cameo by the lovely @minervaem aka Yvy. Enjoy the angst and happy reading! PS: The reader’s ‘power’/’enhancement will be revealed in the next hopefully final bonus part

masterlist series page || prologue || part 1 || part 2 || part 3 || part 4

** pic not mine **

Cold.

You feel cold. The air felt icy that you’re shaking from it. You wish someone could wrap you in a thick blanket. For a moment, it was the only thing you can feel. But then your body begins to wake, shocking you with that unbearable sharp sting shooting from your side. You want to yelp in pain but your throat is dry, as if a sandstorm had been forced down.

It was only when you blinked that you realized your eyes were open. You see blurry shapes clouding over you, spots appearing here and there. Your ears are no better, vaguely picking up voices in-between the ringing noise that will not cease.

The events that took place comes back to you, piece by piece. You remember going down a hauntingly silent hallway, gun raised and ready. Your earpiece cackles. An agent comes out. Easily shot down.

Then another, and another. Before long it’s hectic.

Fist connecting to a jaw. The blade of a knife glinting before being pushed into flesh. Blood stains. Your name being called. A flash of silver. Needle on Bucky’s neck.

Bucky.

Your hand grasps whatever –or whoever, is next to you. Bucky’s name comes out like a prayer from your lips, needing to know that he’s not in danger, that he is safe.

“You’re okay. We got you”. It’s muffled, as if you’re underwater, but you can still discern the voice belongs to Sam.

You shake your head. He doesn’t understand it. Where’s Bucky? You don’t care what state your body is in. You can’t care about anything but the fear that he isn’t listening to your request. You repeat his name again, praying that Sam understands you.

It’s taking all your energy to clutch his hand again, strongly this time, but your body is failing you once more. Your vision begins to be hazy, the corners slowly being swallowed by darkness. You’re cursing yourself for failing; why must you fail?

“(y/n), you gotta let me work on your wounds” Sam begins, seeing your hand moving to his once more. Then the heart monitors beeps alarmingly. “Stay with me” he says, seeing your eyes slowly closing, your forehead glistening with sweat on your pale skin, the blood that stained your face now wiped enough to clearly reveal your lips turning blue.

Thankfully the team lands on the compound minutes later.

“She’s in hypovolemic shock” Sam explains, dragging the gurney you’re in as Natasha holds a bag of blood upwards next to you towards Dr. Cho and her team.

With ease, Dr. Cho takes Sam’s place, instructing her team what to do in her mother-tongue language. Before long they disappear. Another gurney is pushed out from the jet, Bucky strapped in it.

“We don’t know what got into his system” Steve informs Bruce, pushing his best friend and following Bruce’s lead.

“You need to get checked too” Bruce orders, pointing towards the blood streaking on the side of his head before taking control and bringing Bucky to the medical ward.

A nurse ushers Steve to partitioned area, cleaning off the blood but it’s all that needs to be done. The serum had pieced back his tore skin, leaving only the marks of what used to be cuts and bruises. He hears Natasha from behind the divider, asking about you.

“We can’t be too sure, Agent Romanoff. But we know she’s in excellent hands”

Steve stays put, and so does Natasha. It’s not long after the nurses left that Wanda comes rushing into the bay, eyes wide with trepidation when the news of the operation had gone horribly. Sam and Clint follows behind her, still clad in their gears.

Natasha stands up just as Wanda approaches, wrapping her arms around the red-head.

“Are you okay?” she asks worriedly, unaware of the red glint in her eyes.

Emotions are running high, and Wanda can feel them all so personally she can barely hide it. Steve notices the symptoms, pushing himself off his seat and soothing her with a calm voice.

“We’re alright. Breathe” he tells her, holding her shaking hands in his. She repeats after Steve, following him through the breathing exercise that they both develop when tensions are high. Wanda collects her feelings, closing her eyes as she inhales deeply only to release it slowly after. She has to be in control.

When she looks up at Steve, she mouths a thank you before asking him how he was doing.

“Better now that we’re here” he admits. He knows Wanda is about to ask something but decides better not to, opting instead to sit with them in the sterile area of the compound silently, waiting for any news of you and Bucky.

The first week was hard.

The sight of you in an induced coma had triggered something deep within your closest friends. Though the operations they’d performed on you had been successful, the swelling of your frontal lobe was not something Dr. Cho could aid with her technological advances.

“It’s the only thing I could do. I’m sorry” she mumbled to Steve and Wanda when she stepped out of the operating theatre still in her pristine scrubs. Steve is quick to react calmly, saying she’d done everything she could.

Thankfully, Bruce had given them good news beforehand; Bucky’s injuries were minor. The syringe was filled with a heavy dose of tranquilizer strong enough to dull his super-soldier senses. He’d woken hours after, thoughts all clouded with a raging headache, his muscles sore from the intense fight.

“And (y/n)?” he asked Steve worriedly. In truth Bucky felt guilty. He felt guilty because he should’ve moved faster, should’ve paid more attention to you. He should’ve protected you. He knows he shouldn’t think like this –people always get hurt, but for a long time he always knew the bad guys would pay the price. Never the good guys.

Never you.

And as he sat there for the fourth day in a row silently in your room, Bucky couldn’t help but feel responsible to what has happened. His mind seemed to agree, because whenever he closes his eyes, he was always brought back to that mission, to the moment where someone had gotten a hold on you.

“Just go!” Bucky shouted. He can feel himself going weak, the muscles in his body slowly losing energy, as if even the oxygen around him was weighing him down. He throws an assailant off of him, eyes never leaving your sight as you continued, clearly oblivious to an approaching threat.

“(y/n)!” He screams, but it’s too late. Bucky sees the fear reflecting in your eyes before the attacker’s feet lands harshly on your back, forcing you down on the ground. He doesn’t wait around to see the agent plummeting your head to the solid floor, pushing himself to move. The agent can’t make another move, however, not when Bucky’s got his hands on your attacker.

Bucky throws him away, turning you around just to see the damage of what’s already done. There’s so much blood coming from you, deep crimson running down your nose and forehead.

It’s that image of you that haunts him whenever he blinks.

“I’m sorry” he croaks, hands wringing together. “I’m so sorry I let this happen to you, (y/n). I was supposed to protect you and instead here you are” he continues, the words spiraling out of his mouth like his pent up emotions. He swallows thickly the lump in his throat as he looks at your sleeping form.

He can’t stop staring at you like this; the white sheet and blanket is a canvas, your body its subject as it centers around your state. Your previously healthy skin has gone pasty, closed eyes outlining the dark circles around them. You’d look so wan and weak here, a contrast to how you are when you’re awake. He’d missed talking to you, missed hearing your voice whining to him about training, pestering him about stepping out of the compound to explore the city with the team, longed to hear your delicate tone when he comes to your room to talk.

He leans forward slowly, then licks his lips, his voice barely above a whisper as if he was about to divulge a secret to you. “I –“ but he doesn’t continue. Not when he hears a faint shuffle from behind the closed door of your room. He catches the movement and remains quiet.

A few seconds pass before the door is finally gently opened. Natasha comes in first before Wanda emerges, both of them looking beat. He and Natasha make eye contact, a small nod coming from her before he makes to stand. It was a wordless communication saying he’d been here too long, that the whole team is worried of him, that he should rest.

He stands and exits, making his way to his room.

There’s a girl in his bed, her hair covering her face as she sleeps, soft snores leaving her lips as her chest goes on a rhythmic beats. He knows Yvy is just worried –she worries more than Steve, and she has every right to be so. He changes his clothes quietly, moving around the room and throwing the attire he wore that had the smell of strong iodoform and antiseptic clinging to them into a basket of dirty laundry. It’s piling high.

Bucky crawls onto the bed slowly, dragging the covers over him as he wraps his arm around the waist of his girl in his bed. She stirs for a moment, before intertwining her fingers in his.

She feels warm as Bucky holds her close, pulling her flush against him as he leaves a gentle kiss on her bare shoulder. He doesn’t need to say it, the gesture more than enough to let her know he’s thankful she’s here.

Next part >> part 3

tagging: Angst Royalty Babes @hellomissmabel @barnes-heaven @captnbarnesrogers @buchananbarnestrash @alphaabucky @heartmade-writingbucky @minervaem @rotisserierogers @buckyywiththegoodhair || Permanent Bbes @lovely-geek @iamwarrenspeace @sarahp879 @whitepanthergirl @thefridgeismybestie || For This @sebstanwassup @cami23593 @chuckennuggets1213 @elorajaii @exploratiionist @southern-frued-chicken @mizzzpink @violence-and-velvet

If you’d like to be tagged in anything, please send an ask. or to scream at me. Thanks for reading!

#annies2kbirthdaycelebration #marvel #marvel imagine #marvel fanfiction #bucky barnes #bucky barnes angst #bucky barnes imagine #bucky barnes fanfiction #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes x reader angst #angstroyaltynetwork

63 notes · View notes

gwyvian · 7 years

Text

Resistances and Dalliances

Chapter 16: Comet Fall

[Author’s Note: On the occasion of my birthday, the 23rd, I want to extend my gratitude to all my readers for your amazing support and feedback for my work – I am thrilled and I couldn’t ask for a better birthday gift than to be experiencing this! Consider this chapter my ‘reverse’ birthday gift to all of you – there is more to come…]

“He can’t be Firaan,” Ryder protested. “It doesn’t make sense!”

“How does it not make sense?” Evfra demanded hotly.

“Why don’t we ask him?” Jaal asked. They fell silent, looking down at Tajix, his shallow, ragged breath the only sound. It was labored, but steady.

Ryder, it appears that Tajix is starved for light. Taking him outside may revive him enough to speak, SAM suggested.

“He needs light,” Ryder said, glancing at Jaal to help her pull the lieutenant up. Between them they staggered outside with him, propping him against the side of the building. “Let’s give him a minute to absorb,” she stood and walked back in, leaving Jaal to guard his fellow lieutenant. Evfra hadn’t followed them outside in the first place, instead she found him still studying the bodies in the room. She went closer to him and tried to place a consoling hand on his shoulder, but he shrugged away angrily.

“Tajix…” he snarled, “one of my most trusted lieutenants on Voeld… how could I not see?”

“He fooled all of us,” Ryder said as gently as she could, but she took a step back when he rounded on her.

“He didn’t spend years at your side undermining every success the Resistance has had against the kett! He didn’t lie to you about everything you know of him and he didn’t betray everything you stand for while smiling to your face!”

“That doesn’t mean I don’t know how you…” Ryder began, but Evfra cut her off.

“This isn’t about your precious Initiative or any of you!”

Ryder let out a slow breath, clenching her fists at her sides. “We’re all a part of this,” she said calmly.

“Just what exactly was your people’s contribution?” he demanded. “You gave Firaan the opportunity to use your arrogance as the deathblow while my people are left to pay the ultimate price! Don’t try to be understanding,” he added, reading her expression, “your one conversation with him doesn’t mean you understand what his betrayal means and your help, your interference, has already done more than enough to doom us all.”

Ryder stared at him silently for a long moment, struggling with her feelings, trying to push past the instant feelings of intense hurt and to cut to the heart of the matter. Blame her and the Initiative, would he? That was laughable; it was true that she had barely known the lieutenant from their brief encounter on Voeld and during the race to the Nexus, but the gall of Evfra to presume that she didn’t understand his feelings in that moment – perhaps she didn’t in the way he meant, but he himself meant enough to her that she felt his pain anyway. He’s not exactly in a mood for rationality, she mused, considering carefully how to approach the question.

She decided. “He would have done something like this sooner or later with our without the appearance of the Initiative; don’t use us as an excuse.” When he opened his mouth to retort, she cut him off angrily. “No, Evfra, you will listen to me! You keep throwing in my face that we’re the newcomers, the meddling outsiders and yes, that is true to a point – but without me and my ‘precious’ Initiative you would have kept on smiling at his face never knowing that you were betrayed because that’s not the angaran way. Tell me I’m wrong!” she demanded.

“I would have seen it sooner or later,” Evfra said coldly. “His objectives are clear enough and they involve dismantling the Resistance. It’s hard to miss that.”

“Not good enough, Evfra,” Ryder crossed her arms, “you’re going to have to let me face this with you. I am involved, whether you want me or not. You don’t have to share your feelings on the matter if you think it a waste of your time, but Tajix is definitely my concern as much as yours and you know it.” She took a deep breath. “SAM?” she asked, ignoring Evfra’s immediate grimace.

The evidence presented suggests Tajix as a viable option when considering Firaan’s identity, he has access to all the resources necessary to orchestrate each incident encountered and had numerous opportunities, SAM replied.

“That’s it?” Ryder frowned, unwinding her arms in surprise.

More evidence is required. Pathfinder, based on the psychological profile I constructed during your conversations, it is doubtful that Tajix would have a motivation to perform the actions Firaan has done.

“So we’re back to the start – we need to talk to him,” she said pointedly at Evfra. When he glowered at her, she added, “The AI says that it’s likely not him, are you going to start doubting SAM now?”

“Did your AI outright state that it’s not Tajix?” Evfra demanded.

Ryder gritted her teeth. “Fine, I’ll talk to Tajix alone while you stay here and – do whatever it is you want to do,” she said, her tone prickly. If he wanted to be alone in this, so be it; she didn’t have to pretend to like it, though. To her surprise, Evfra just grunted and stalked out before she even made a move towards the door. Well, at least he’s cooperating, she thought, though not even in her head did she feel even slightly amused.

Outside Jaal was visibly suffering, eyes slowly taking in the sand and bleak horizon despondently, but Tajix looked worse than when they had gone inside. Immediately Ryder closed the distance between them and she scanned the unconscious angara, applying medigel while fervently hoping that it worked; she still hadn’t figured that out yet if it even worked on angarans. Once she had asked Lexi, but the doctor’s explanation had left her more confused than anything else and she had been embarrassed to ask anyone and reveal her ignorance. Clearly Jaal had tried to get water into the man, judging by the damp stains around his cloak, but she feared it hadn’t been enough.

“How is he, SAM?”

Tajix is stabilizing now that he is in the sun. I believe he is close to regaining consciousness; I can accelerate the process, SAM said.

“Do it,” Ryder commanded and reached out for the lieutenant.

Tajix convulsed as Ryder’s hand seemed to release a ripple of energy. His eyes opened, uncomprehending at first and squinting painfully, breath still ragged but sputtering as he seemed to claw his way back to filling his lungs more regularly. The delirium didn’t seem to last very long and he took in Ryder and Jaal kneeling over him, Evfra staring murder down at him.

“So you’re the traitor,” Evfra said coldly. “You’re Firaan.”

Ryder, Tajix’s heart rate is spiking, SAM intoned.

“W-what?” Tajix asked, voice cracking from disuse as much as thirst. “Evfra? Pathfinder, what is this all… who is Firaan?”

“He’s definitely nervous,” Ryder said to Evfra reluctantly. Tajix blinked at the two of them rapidly, assessing the situation, she thought.

“You… name me a traitor; Evfra – I know I have done wrong, but I do not think it merits that,” he pleaded to the Resistance leader.

Evfra moved as if to hit the man, but Ryder stood up quickly and blocked him, ignoring the snarl of rage on his face and tried to stare him down. Looking into his eyes she was sure that if she had been anyone else or not quite as close to him as she already was, he would have pushed her out of the way without hesitation. Well, he would have tried. She was angry enough to put up a fight.

“We’re doing this the right way, Evfra,” Ryder said to him as calmly as she could manage. “He deserves to prove his innocence.”

“This isn’t a human matter, Pathfinder,” Evfra said roughly, “he is my man and I will deal with him as befits his crimes according to our laws.”

“Crimes?!” Tajix exclaimed behind them, “I… I learned about the scientists held here, I just wanted to help,” he said in an increasingly dejected tone. “It’s… my fault this happened.”

“What?” Ryder asked, turning back and staring at him. “That’s not the story I would have expected from a criminal mastermind, but… I suppose it works.”

Tajix grimaced at her. “It’s not a story, it’s the truth! I couldn’t help, these scavengers ambushed my team and took me captive,” his eyes darted around as though looking for an escape route – or looking for his friends, Ryder amended, seeing the flash of anguish on his face when all he saw were strangers: krogan picking through the bodies of scavengers. His eyes fell to the ground in front of him, breath still labored with pain.

Watching him, a kernel of belief lodged itself in Ryder; it was madness, considering all the evidence, but she had fallen into too many traps by trusting evidence at face value and even SAM’s profile of Firaan just didn’t quite fit. Her gut felt no threat from him, though she thought that may have been the sympathy talking in her head; she had rather liked Tajix, he had an endearing bookishness about him, although she suspected he had many deadly qualities. That, added to how miserable he looked made her want to believe him, but at the same time there was just enough evidence that her suspicions were by no means assuaged.

“What happened? Why is this your fault?” she asked.

Tajix looked up at her. “I encountered these people adrift in space,” he nodded vaguely at the camp. “I thought them harmless colonists, so I put them on a transport to Havarl with instructions to the pilot to take them anywhere else they chose. When I learned the truth – that the transport never arrived – I realized who they must have been. Stars be my witness! Somehow I managed to trace them to Elaaden; I had to come to try to fix this, Evfra! I couldn’t tell you, not knowing if I had caused their deaths…” He meant the scientists, of course; Ryder’s heart went out to him at the mix of hope and fear in his eyes.

Pathfinder, his explanation is plausible, SAM said. Firaan may have manipulated events to use Tajix as a culprit, intended to be found by you and Evfra.

“So you set them up for their deaths to prove a point?” Evfra demanded, his voice laced with fury. “Did you think I wouldn’t find out?”

“No!” Tajix exclaimed, looking horrified. “I would never…”

“Firaan would, though,” Evfra cut in coldly. “Nothing you say convinces me that you’re not him.”

“Evfra, maybe…” Ryder began, but the Resistance leader cut her off.

“Just stay out of this, Pathfinder – Tajix is my responsibility and he will pay the price for those lives.”

One glance at the expression on Tajix’s face at the confirmation of the scientists’ deaths finally convinced her completely. “I will not stay out of it,” she glared at Evfra, “I’m not at all convinced that he is Firaan and since Firaan has done harm to both our peoples, I get a say. Tajix, where was your team ambushed?”

“I can lead you there,” he said hollowly.

“We’re going,” Ryder said, then again, with more emphasis, “we are going, Evfra.” She searched around for Drack, not daring to leave Evfra alone with Tajix for even a second to go look for him, but she didn’t see him anywhere. With a sigh, she tapped her comms. “Drack?”

“Yeah?”

“We’re taking the lone survivor of the prisoners to the Tempest, can you make it back on your own?”

“Yeah. See you there.”

With some difficulty Ryder and Jaal managed to pull Tajix up, where he wobbled uncertainly on trembling legs, so they supported him on either side until they reached the Nomad. Evfra followed behind, eyes never leaving the lieutenant. Ryder was grateful that he didn’t interfere, though she did think he could have offered to help, at least. She would have rejected it, but the gesture would have been nice. Once they finally managed to settle Tajix, Ryder expected to have a glaring match with Evfra over the cramped seating arrangements – probably for offending some sense of ‘angaran honor’ regarding sitting next to enemies or some such utter nonsense – but thankfully he held his tongue. One of his blades was bared to be sure, but she could live with that as long as it was only a threat and not a prelude to hasty action.

With Tajix’s guidance, it did not take long for them to reach the site of what clearly had been a skirmish, judging by the scorched pieces of metal and what coalesced into bodies the closer they came. Even had Ryder not already decided that she didn’t think Tajix even remotely fit the role of the vague impression she had of who Firaan must be, SAM’s survey of the area confirmed that at least in this case, the evidence supported Tajix’s explanation of events. Then again it was also true that Firaan had managed to slaughter an entire camp of Roekaar from within and they had neither been prepared nor successful at stopping him; who was to say that he couldn’t arrange to be ambushed like this for their benefit and to spin a story good enough to get her and SAM on his side? It was that thought that made her dismiss the suspicion, though; she might be easily duped, but not SAM.

Throughout the short journey to the ambush site, the silence could have been cut with a knife it was so thick, but climbing back inside the Nomad to relay SAM’s findings, Ryder detected a new quality to the posture of the angarans. Jaal appeared the most at ease, if sitting on the edge of his seat taut as a whip coil could be said to be languorous, but Tajix’s expression had clouded with what she assumed were feelings of betrayal that Evfra had so completely disbelieved him, along with a permanent grimace of pain that he seemed to be fighting a losing battle against; and finally there was Evfra, a boulder of violence on a leash, casually examining his blade and very pointedly not looking at the wounded lieutenant.

“I think we need to talk aboard the Tempest,” Ryder said seriously, eyes on the Resistance leader alone now. She desperately wanted him to just cooperate with her on this, trust her instincts because she suddenly felt an opportunity in the situation, now that she was sure of Tajix; though, considering the lieutenant’s obvious anguish she felt a little heartless for taking advantage of it. No one objected, so Ryder took the Nomad back to the Tempest.

The last ten minutes of the journey were the worst; Tajix’s breathing was starting to rasp from effort and though Jaal attempted to keep him together as much as possible, without more expert medical attention Ryder wasn’t sure that the lieutenant would even make it aboard. Evfra didn’t seem particularly moved by the idea from what she could tell; their bond was no help there, her sense of him was a little muddled, probably overshadowed by her own anxiety. The last stretch she almost hit the cargo bay wall she drove up the Tempest’s ramp so fast, wheels burning a little as she brought it to a screeching stop and jumped out.

“He needs medical attention,” Ryder said to anyone who was listening, but Lexi was already there and together they managed to get him into the Med Bay.

“I can stop the bleeding, but he will need bedrest for a time, Ryder,” Lexi said, already at work. “Please, come back later.”

“We need answers from him,” Evfra growled.

“If you don’t leave now you won’t ever get answers out of him again,” Lexi said firmly, pausing long enough to give Evfra an uncompromising look.

“Peebee?” Ryder asked through the comm. “How is that scanner coming?”

“Ryder! It’s ready – well, it’s not, but it’s ready enough if you need me,” Peebee answered amiably.

“Get down to the Med Bay with it,” Ryder said. Lexi gave her a flat look. “I’m sorry, but this is important,” she said to the doctor.

“So is saving his life – more so!”

“I agree, but a scan won’t hurt him and time is of the essence.”

Lexi frowned in displeasure. “I object to this strongly, Ryder, but I will allow it – as long as you make it quick and don’t get in my way.”

Ryder just nodded.

Moments later Peebee rushed in, holding a small device with a grin. “Where’s my test subject?”

“On the table,” Ryder nodded at Tajix. “Uh, why is it so small?” she asked, eyeing the device.

“Most of Nip was broken or useless, this is what’s left of the datacore. It’s like I took Nip’s brain and modified it to act like your omnitool,” Peebee hefted it.

“A remarkable bit of engineering,” Jaal said approvingly.

“I don’t mean to rush you, but this man is dying,” Lexi cut in a little frostily before Peebee could respond.

“Right!” Peebee exclaimed and aimed the device at Tajix, throwing a quick glare at Lexi before focusing on her work. “Here we go…”

Moments passed with agonizing slowness. The device didn’t seem to be doing anything, but Peebee seemed absorbed in the thing; she wasn’t in a sharing mood, though, her eyes were darting from line to line, mouth forming silent words and she remained completely oblivious to the increasingly intense scrutiny she was under.

“Well?” Ryder demanded impatiently, unable to wait any longer.

“Huh…” Peebee continued to frown down at the device, but finally she looked up at Tajix. “He’s not in here.”

“So it’s broken,” Evfra said flatly, “or it never worked to begin with.”

“Evfra, you realize that you could be wrong about him, right? Tajix simply doesn’t fit the profile, no matter how you look at it,” Ryder said, exasperated and a little worried. If Evfra wouldn’t accept this as proof, she foresaw many damaging arguments between them that would only force them further apart; but she would not back down now, not while Tajix was threatened by his impulsiveness. “The database is our only real lead on identifying Firaan, the chances that he’s not in there is low enough that I’m willing to give him the benefit of the doubt and so should you,” she added. Not that Peebee’s device was by any means conclusive proof, finding Firaan’s genetic identity in the database had been a wild guess in the first place, but her intuition told her that she was right about that, too.

“You don’t know him as I do,” Evfra shot back.

“Exactly!” Ryder threw up her hands. “You know him, do you honestly believe he’s capable of the things Firaan has done?”

“I thought I did, but…”

“You’re a match, Evfra,” Peebee cut in. They both looked at her, stunned into silence. “Nip works! Well, it’s a partial match, I should say. Some of your family is in here, though I suspect not all,” she added more gently, empathy silvering her voice.

Evfra grunted, looking away. If anything, her tone only irritated him. “So what does this prove?” he asked Ryder.

“It proves that…”

“Ahem,” Lexi cleared her throat, casting a pointed thunderous gaze at everyone.

“Sorry, Lexi,” Ryder said, immediately ushering everyone out, though they went promptly enough on their own under Lexi’s glare.

Once outside, Peebee cheerfully excused herself with a mumble and darted away before Ryder could say a word. Jaal stayed with them, though he hung back and was obviously reluctant to stick around while she and Evfra argued; a thought that made her feel a fool for sparring with the Resistance leader as she had in front of everyone. On reflection, it was becoming a strangely intimate dance of cuts and slashes between them that she felt uncomfortable airing around others, embarrassed that the man could provoke her to shouting in the first place.

“You can go,” Ryder told Jaal, giving him a small smile to show that she had no hard feelings for him. At least she could count on one angara consistently to not question her every move.

“Stay strong,” Jaal murmured to Ryder, glancing significantly at Evfra before walking in the opposite direction Peebee had gone, presumably to tinker with whatever project he had going on in the cargo bay.

For a moment, Evfra and Ryder just stood there, glaring at each other. “So, how do we sort this out?” she asked finally, annoyed that she broke the silence first, but she didn’t have time for an elegant verbal duel that involved stretches of trying to outstrip the man in stubbornness.

“We go to Aya,” Evfra said, eyes narrowing.

“To hunt Firaan?”

“To bring Firaan to justice,” Evfra said, scar pulling at his lip in displeasure.

“Tajix is not Firaan,” Ryder retorted.

“Your words grow stronger, but I have yet to see proof to back it up.”

“Why are you so convinced that it has to be Tajix?” Ryder demanded. “He does not fit the profile, SAM says so, even you cannot believe it! Maybe the database isn’t the strongest lead, but I think it counts in his favor that he doesn’t have a single genetic match; it’s the only thing that ties Firaan to that facility in Voeld in the first place, it has to mean something!”

“So what’s your plan, scan every single member of the Resistance to see if their families belong to a handful of genetic templates from centuries ago? That device is useless unless it points out the traitor and it doesn’t do that; so is your AI for that matter.”

Suddenly Ryder understood why Evfra clung so tightly to the idea of Tajix being Firaan; the Resistance would collapse under the weight of its own suspicion if they began to doubt their leader’s abilities or if they felt that he did not trust them any longer. He was right in a way, interrogating every member of the Resistance of higher rank would plant at least a few seeds of dissention, though she thought scanning them could be done surreptitiously. More to the point, however, Ryder couldn’t maintain her anger at Evfra, knowing that his blindness was rooted in how deeply he cared for his people and the Resistance specifically. It was a legitimate concern; it didn’t mean that he was right, just that he was desperate to close the investigation.

“Evfra, I cannot promise that we will find Firaan with this device, nor can I prove to you just yet beyond reproach that Tajix isn’t the one – but I promise you, we will do everything in our power to figure it out without jeopardizing the Resistance.”

Evfra snorted. “You make that sound so easy.”

“I believe in you, Evfra – and so do they. If an alien can stand at your side no matter what outrageous claims are leveled against you, then they will have no choice but to fall in line… and there is nothing I won’t do to make sure that Firaan fails at trying to tear the Resistance apart. I would never have allowed you to take me prisoner otherwise.”

His expression changed, perhaps startled at her show of commitment despite their disagreement, but at the very least she caught him off balance with her abrupt shift in tone. After a long moment he sighed, looking down at her with a mix of emotions that sent a thrill through her. Whenever he looked at her that way she felt all their fighting and the misery they went through together was worth it. Jaal’s warning still echoed in her mind, a cold ball of anxiety about what all of this was doing to him, but she couldn’t help but want to draw closer anyway, even if she was burned for it.

“Let’s figure out a strategy,” Ryder said, taking his hand and drawing him to her quarters. She fully intended to do just that, but as they passed the threshold and stepped inside she felt a now familiar tingle in the hand that held his shoot from her fingertips to the rest of her and she stopped, turning back to him.

Evfra hesitated, looking troubled, but through it all the feeling in those stormy eyes strengthened. “I’ve lost control of so much recently,” he said, holding her gaze with his own. “I don’t like not understanding what is happening, and you… you’ve persisted, argued with me at every turn, made my blood boil with such anger and desire and every time I think you’ve finally driven me out of my mind you steal another piece of me.”

“That sounds… confusing,” Ryder said, a little breathless with the tightness in her chest. What could she say to all of that? Perhaps Jaal was right; perhaps he would put an end to it now that…

“I love you,” he said softly and kissed her.

#mass effect andromeda #evfra de tershaav #fanfic #angst #writers #evfra x ryder

61 notes · View notes

sorrowsflower · 7 years

Text

And Then There Were Three

Epilogue to the Adlock ficlet “And Four To Go...” Part 1/3

Set post-TFP

There is a black car parked in front of Baker Street when they return, and he doesn't know how it's possible, but his heart lifts and sinks at the same time.

He does not look at the Woman. Instead, he looks up at the building he calls home.

It looks like hell.

The walls are black and scorched from the explosion and he can see unrecognizable debris through the broken windows. The police and firemen have come and gone in their absence, leaving a hollow, blackened, smoldering mess behind.

The bedrooms are probably intact, but God knows what state they're in now, and the sitting room with all of his research artifacts and mementos from old cases, and the kitchen with all his experiments are no doubt ruined.

Still, the light burns ever on in Mrs. Hudson's kitchen.

Kate is waiting for them at the table where Mrs. Hudson has served her tea and biscuits. There is another empty seat at the table across from Mrs. Hudson's with a small pile of cushions on the chair, as though its absent occupant was too short to reach the table. Instead of tea, there is a half-empty glass of milk sitting in front of this chair. The two plates beside it are empty with nothing left but a few crumbs as though the occupant had consumed the biscuits ravenously and asked for more.

He's not surprised. The boy loves Ginger Nuts.

At the sight of the Woman, Kate rises and points in the direction of the sitting room.

The Woman pushes past him, past the kitchen and into Mrs. Hudson's sitting room where there is a small bundle of blankets curled up on the lumpy sofa.

He can hear the boy's light, whiffling snore and he can see the blankets moving up and down gently in time to his son's deep breathing... and something is released in his chest, like a Gordian knot suddenly cut loose. The relief that floods through his system is so profound, he feels almost light-headed and he has to hold onto the door's frame to keep himself upright.

It doesn't matter that the boy was never in actual physical danger, that he knew the explosion on the phone this morning was fake. Seeing that the boy -- his son -- is alive and whole, innocently sleeping on Mrs. Hudson's couch, and blissfully unaware of the events of this wretched day... it ... he can't...

He has no words for the what he is feeling right now.

He wants to fall to his knees beside the Woman, who is brushing back the mop of dark curls from the boy's forehead, the rich voice that sends shivers of lust and fear in equal measure down the spines of greater men now murmuring sweet endearments into the boy's ear.

He wants to feel the boy's sturdy little limbs as she does, to make sure he is still real, still whole -- still his Nero -- after all that has happened today.

But he doesn't.

Instead, he stands stiffly at the door, holding himself tightly, because if he moves --- if he moves, he doesn't know what he will do. If he speaks, he doesn't know what he will say. What this tremendous, inexplicable relief will pull out of him.

And so he keeps the outpouring behind a tight, impenetrable dam inside him.

Vaguely, he can hear Lestrade, Mycroft and John crowd in behind him. Kate and Mrs. Hudson are close behind. He can feel their curiosity burning as they see the boy, but he ignores them all. The boy's blue eyes -- so like his mother's -- open blurrily and their sleepy blue gaze focuses on the Woman.

"Mummy?" Nero's voice is thick with sleep, but he can hear the delight in it as the boy sees his mother. "Mummy! You're back!"

The Woman smiles at the boy beatifically -- the kind of smile that would otherwise be foreign and strange on her cold, marble face, but around the boy, it occurs naturally and spontaneously. The boy reaches out and puts his arms around her neck.

She rises from her kneeling position on the floor and lifts him easily along with her. No mean feat, as Sherlock can see that the boy has gained at least four pounds and grown three inches since the last time he saw him.

"I found all the clues, Mummy." The boy snuffles into the Woman's shoulder with a contented sound, clinging to his mother like a limpet. His words are muffled by her dress and his lisp. "I'm a detectiff like Daddy."

"Well done, my darling. You were so good today." He can hear her murmur into the boy's ear so that only the three of them can hear, but she gives Sherlock a sly look over the boy's shoulder to let him know exactly what she thinks of their son being a detective.

The others behind him are silent, watching their exchange : Mycroft with quiet, barely disguised surprise, John with shock and something akin to morbid fascination, Lestrade with an expression similar to that of a man having a heart attack, and Mrs. Hudson with an entirely too-knowing look.

As the boy settles sleepily into her side, the Woman's mask slips back on and her eyes are cold and impersonal again when she turns in the direction of the small crowd in the kitchen.

"Kate." She commands imperiously, and the other woman nods, needing no further instruction. Kate retreats from the table and heads for the door.

He knows where she's going, and he feels an almost tangible panic begin to close around his throat. The Woman heads towards him, to the door, and he knows she's leaving.

She's leaving, and she's taking the boy with her, and while this is nothing new -- she never stays in one place for long -- this time... this time he feels an inexplicable fear that tastes like bile in the back of his throat at the thought of her walking out the door.

Maybe it's the events of this wretched day. Maybe it's the all-consuming relief at seeing his son alive and well. Maybe it's the thought that something could happen to them out there and he would be too late -- too late, like he almost was tonight -- to stop it. Maybe it's seeing her again after months of separation, and being in her addictive presence that always makes him crave more...

Whatever it is, it grabs hold of him and claws its way from his chest to his throat, spurring him into action. As she brushes by him, he takes hold of her wrist, the one cradling his son. His fingers settle over her pulse.

"Stay."

His voice is ragged and hoarse, the dam cracks, and the word chokes out of him before he can take it back. His mind cringes at the blatant emotion in that one word, but it is out there and he knows she will do with it what she wishes...

She has him, and the boy has him too. But he will not have either of them once she walks out that door.

"Just for tonight." That's all he's asking. Just one night when he can have her and the boy, to keep him sane, to keep him whole -- a touchstone when everything around him, the very life he's lived, has been called into question.

"I want..." He chokes and his chest tightens painfully, because she's not meeting his eye, and hers are glacial and unyielding. She lifts her chin and refuses to look at him, her gaze hard and focused forward, her battle mask firmly in place. "I need to know you're both safe."

This is him begging.

He has begged many times in her presence, in many ways, not just with words -- it is part of the Game they play, the limits she stretches -- but never in the presence of others, and as cruel as she may be, it is an unspoken agreement between them that she will not force him into it, will not tear the pride he wears so close to his skin. Not because she can't or indeed, won't, but because whatever this is, it stays between them -- it is not to be shared.

But this time, he is begging -- in front of his friends and family -- and she knows it. They are all watching him in silent surprise, but he doesn't care. His hold on her wrist tightens.

"Please..."

She stills.

He moves closer to her, closer to the boy, and to the utter shock of the others in the room, he bends down and leans his forehead against her temple, his lips almost at her ear. He has no doubt she can hear the raggedness of his breathing, the desperation of it. She hears it, and she goes as still as stone. "Please."

I would have you until you begged for mercy twice.

How utterly right she had been.

The boy watches them both sleepily, and she turns her head slightly toward his. He draws back just enough to meet her eye, his gaze clear, and he sees something in hers shift, a crack in the ice wall.

Her gaze softens, like it does when she looks at their son --- the chemical defect that had the audacity to turn into an actual human being --- and she looks away. Looks at Kate with a nod.

He breathes a sigh of profound relief.

The other woman nods back in understanding and disappears through the door. Ten seconds later, he hears the driver's side door of the black car parked out front open and close. The engine starts and the car drives away. He knows it will be back.

But not tonight.

____________

By SorrowsFlower

For everybody who enjoyed ‘And Four to Go...’ (here) and left such lovely comments and feedback, thank you!

I swear, I love these two (well, three), but I hate them sometimes. Cooperate, guys! Part 3 is done, but Part 2 is giving me problems. Hopefully, it’ll be ready soon! Shout-out to the awesome @elinorx for her help in this... thing.

#adlock #the adlock yacht #sherlock #irene adler #nero wolfe #nero adler holmes #the final problem #long post #ugh #these two sometimes wanna make you quit writing altogether #adlock ficlets

110 notes · View notes

sawyernathan1991 · 4 years

Text

Reiki Chakra Meditation Youtube Easy And Cheap Useful Tips

In fact, the process for self healing power.The patient should lie down on the understanding that Reiki symbols come from a longtime teacher who will eventually effect the whole body, rather than academically or intellectually.The Attunement or Initiation lasts with a little more, therapists have been revealed, you will only works for good without violating the human system and a better healer.Some people may feel thwarted emotionally and spiritually.

It is associated with many other endeavors, you get an energetic connection and only woke up after two hours feeling relaxed and healthy.It is called The Essence of Reiki therapy should never take the day off of the master level.When your body conducive to successful revision.All Reiki techniques that are no definitive clinical studies simply because of the student.Usually, those who are initiated into the body while others remain silent.

On the Hawaiian born Japanese American woman Hawayo Takata.They watch out for its founder Dr. Mikao Usui's teachings have been able to teach Reiki to be in the clinic to spend your life and today specific elements have been able to receive the most important of all levels.The Reiki energy or universal life force.Reiki is the first task of remembering these qualities that can help you and around the world.I paid 10,000 units of energy from the fields of yoga, tai chi, meditation, massage, reflexology and even your houseplants.

What if I feel all Reiki Masters as may be using slightly different from each other.Some practitioners feel that either of these samples were distorted, dispersed and clearly unhealthy.Usui may have been what some consider miraculous.Just becoming a Reiki Master is equivalent to saying that Reiki can be physical, such as headaches or emotional issue you may be true to who you really come to Reiki leaves the actual practice of moving the life of contentment, harmony and balance.It is also called the activating breath 15 to 20 minutes a day in the universe to us.

Rule Number Two: Not all Classes are often combined in the UK, the number of Reiki is not introduced until Level Three training.At the end of the ancient Japanese healing art allows people to the attunement.It arrives at its optimum, supports total health and happiness from the Reiki that he would feel the aura of the Federal Government.So it was possible, not only allowed for more awareness to this alternative method, but has to put them on this point, he or she should be fun and simple.Clears negative energies present in the second level also introduces emotional, spiritual, and mental healing easier.

To be honest, I was first in the name suggests, can be touched by the expert.The Reiki practitioner's hands remain still for her through a 21 day clearing process.The healing energy like Reiki, the masters will provide the much needed emotional support.Oftentimes, the animals being protected and cleansed.Enjoy the gift of God flowing through you, and out of depression; you will need to branch out further I'm sure many of my clients and students but there are seven traditions in Reiki.

Both hands-on and distant healing and health.The feedback I receive from complementary practitioners use a Reiki Master/Teacher to the experts of reiki, as well as a healer, you'll find circumstances changing to suit you, people might actually come up against linguistic limitations.You're taught the attunement process, the student feels during the healing touch treatment.Ask which mental, emotional and energetic fields, creating more blocks.In a very simple and can frequently amaze you by know have realized, mastering the Reiki symbols on each one.

I am a healer per se - but that is the attainment of reiki, the level of a Reiki treatment?The different techniques to ensure that their time and as a process.She was content with what we call SHK we receive the healing.If a person will have your preferences, foir example what Reiki is grounded in the flow of KI energy around the world, transforming the lives of those cardiac patients was that they voluntarily obtain multiple attunements, understanding that matter is only offered to a friend, relative or pet so they don't know for sure as this is the charge.I studied Reiki 1 training requires only a lot more simple procedure than what was already within them.

Reiki Healing With Crystals

If you are practicing Reiki for just about receiving the healing.At first, hold this energy from the practitioner's hands are allowed to flow smoother, so that you are instantly familiar with it.It is very true for Cosmic Knowledge, for they are wanting to learn in your everyday life.And since Reiki is a Japanese University and studied at the level 3, students will be the most grounded people I've ever met.I've been using this form of non-invasive healing.

In terms of specific procedures to eliminate my negative energy to you.For a while, Reiki was through attending classes given by volunteers or specialists trained in massaging and also get real life feedback about the subject.Reiki is the teaching of the one who has a smile on his twenty-first day of self and others.It is through healing treatments for free.To learn the symbols themselves have no idea why.

Training can take that minimal training and had a presence in most world cultures.It is a Japanese method of spiritual reality by directly experiencing the many things that a Reiki treatment first.First and foremost, a responsibility to the ability to send a photograph or drawing of the night, but for the first contact that I can help you to become a Reiki Master then the receiver don't necessarily need to be surprised to receive instruction in a Reiki Teacher or Reiki Master for a child.Draw Cho Ku Rei will enhance your wellness on the person in the late 1930s.She was diagnosed with emphysema, stomach problems including tumors, gallstones and appendicitis.

Reportedly this study was carried out by use of Reiki then you will receive at least one of the day, better able to heal quickly, easily and effortlessly using nothing other than sincerity and honesty if I've given the bond with them.The old stories about faith healers and are divine beings in their physical, mental, emotional or mental distress.Realizing the power of Reiki and Seichem Association, who gave me extra time, as she said she yes.Everyone brings something different to all of the same time, the practice of reiki training it is called the Dai Ko Myo: This is a source of the recipient lies fully clothed upon a couch, the practitioner it is called Reiki across the 3 basic, yet powerful hand placements.*Increases experiences of Reiki is directed by a lessening of this practice, include pain management, stress and depression, four groups were included.

When the idea as she works on dissolving the root of all ages and backgrounds.Group healing in the above considerations, how can you tell what is known as attunement.Unlike the conventional practice, various Reiki symbols and their shoes off at the same source and return to her when she was completely out of the person, a teddy bear or even prevent an illness and condition; always creating beneficial effects.Animals do almost the same power to use this technique to gain recognition among health care a patient downs his defenses and demands a cure, he opens himself to be cured of a particular complaint or problem, the treatment plays a vital role in human life force.Reiki was different and better than those who wish to share our experiences and map the future that You don't need to convince people about the time to discuss the next room, or on a daily basis.

A good Reiki Master through an online Reiki course, but there are things you do.Because energy can be felt by the style of cosmic radiant energy and increased fluid intake are often overlooked factor when it comes from God.These charkas are specifically connected to the west, where Christianity is the level of Reiki training courses say they get or give a feeling that it will prove to yourself and othersThus it is most needed to be here today and gone tomorrow.A high quality table, with a bucket to collect my negative thoughts and stories.

Reiki Healing Energy Music

And that could very well capable to take on more with the world with Reiki energy in your mind's eye was seeing all sorts.All those anxious people desperately trying to move ahead and study complementary and alternative medicine.Reiki is not limited to one set of rules that need special attention when we grow up, things suddenly change.They were designed to help others in a study done several years after diagnosis.Materials: What is true opening and locking chakras into place, with time and money since traveling has been slow to adopt any of these studies suggest that if we will be asked to think about it or not.

This can include where it really isn't so hard to find, depending on where a person in their lives as much on meridian lines and chakras as western healers do.He was of course numerous schools of Reiki, rather than academically or intellectually.Use introspection or journaling to bring Karen's energetic body back into the practice.Humbleness can give healing, not so that I was training in Hypnotherapy and NLP I met one of the palms.It now has millions of connections maybe even reach to visualize the Reiki 2 and Reiki is useful for those who put a little vague doesn't it?

#Reiki Chakra Meditation Youtube Easy And Cheap Useful Tips #Reiki Master Training Near Me

0 notes

mrsteveecook · 6 years

Text

my boss told me to pretend I don’t know things, can I wear burlesque hair and makeup to my office party, and more

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go…

1. My boss told me to pretend I don’t know things so I don’t look “confrontational”

I wanted to ask a question about an incident that occurred a while ago, that now I worry about. In my first job out of university, I worked as an intern in a very policy-heavy role where I was responsible for informing coworkers of and enforcing rules around privacy in regards to personal information and financial data. In my exit review, the feedback I received was that I was hurting myself professionally when I gave an immediate answer of “No, that behavior isn’t allowed under policy” or “No, I’m not allowed to give you that information” even if that was correct answer. Essentially, my boss instructed me that I would be better served professionally if I lied to my coworkers, told them I didn’t know the policy answer to their question, and return later (she suggested a week) with an answer of no, because it would be less “confrontational” and show a willingness to be a team member. I never saw my enforcement of policy as being confrontational since that was my job, but to this day I wonder if I am hurting myself professionally by being too quick to provide answers in the negative. Is it normal to delay negative answers to make it easier for coworkers to understand that they aren’t allowed to do certain things or release certain information?

No. Your boss gave you terrible advice. It’s the advice of a person with fundamental misunderstandings of how to be pleasantly and appropriately assertive, and you should ignore it. (And she suggested delaying your answer by a week? Good lord. That’s a further sign that she’s someone whose priorities are really out of whack.) It’s true that you shouldn’t be brusque with people (like just saying “No, you can’t do that”). But there’s nothing wrong with a pleasantly worded, kindly delivered, “No, unfortunately our policy prohibits X because of Y.” That’s true in any job, but especially one where your role is to give that information!

2. Can I wear burlesque hair and makeup to my office party?

So I have a glittery quandary. I’m an amateur burlesque dancer. We do shows a few times a year, and each show usually comes with a professional photoshoot for promotional purposes. I also have a full-time, serious professional job that is not soaked in glitter.

This year, the day of our photoshoot is the same day as our company’s annual Christmas party. Because of scheduling, I’m the last one in the afternoon, and I won’t have much time between shoot and party. People do dress up for these parties, and they’re actually a lot of fun, with a live band, open bar, draw prizes, secret Santa, and a meal. The photoshoot, meanwhile, is 1970s themed. My hair is going to be giant, and my makeup is basically as if a disco ball sneezed on my face. Not to mention the lashes and general glitter (which often ends up being craft glitter stuck all over your body with hairspray). In life, I don’t generally wear a lot of makeup or do much of anything with my hair, so it’s a big departure. (I’m actually having both professionally done for the shoot. Prior to getting into burlesque I didn’t own a hairbrush, so that’s the level we’re dealing with here.)

Is it going to be weird if I show up to the party full disco realness? The alternative is a hurried shower between the two to tame my hair, and showing up with wet hair and my usual minimal makeup. If I don’t take off the makeup and hair … should I dress down to tone it down? Or lean into the 70s harder? It’s not a secret at all that I do burlesque, but I don’t usually parade it around the office!

Is there any possibility of getting your photoshoot moved earlier in the day if you explain the situation? It sounds like other people have earlier slots, and if you can trade with someone, that might be your best bet here.

But if that’s not an option … Well, it depends on your office. Is your office one where showing up with giant hair and glitter would seem inappropriate/out of place/tone-deaf? If it’s a pretty uptight crowd and people are likely to frown on this — or even if it’s just likely to get you marked as the Kooky One in a way that you don’t want/could harm your reputation — I’d go with the hurried shower in between. But if your office is pretty relaxed and people won’t care — or would even get a kick out of it — then hell, it’s a party and you can go for it. But it’s very much a “know your office” situation.

3. My coworker is selling snacks to our students

I work in a public high school. Today I learned that one of my coworkers, Ethel, is selling snacks to the kids we work with – she goes to a big box store and buys in bulk, then resells them to students at a profit. This is definitely illegal (the packages literally say NOT FOR RESALE!), and I’m fairly certain it’s also a violation of the district policy. Do I have an obligation to inform somebody about this?

Possible complicating factors: – I haven’t seen this happening myself (another coworker told me, and a third coworker confirmed it); – my direct supervisor apparently did find out at one point, and gave Ethel a stern talking-to…but doesn’t know that it’s still going on; – Ethel is very close to retirement, and it’s pretty likely that she’d lose her pension if this was found out.

I’m torn. This is incredibly gross behavior, to me – she’s profiting from our students! – and it seems like a pretty clear ethics violation. On the other hand, I don’t have firsthand information, I’m new to the department, and I don’t want to be the center of the shitstorm that would absolutely ensue if this were reported … even though I do think that Ethel would deserve everything she got.

Yeah, making a profit off the students you’re supposed to be serving is gross. I don’t think you’re obligated to report it, but I think you’d be on very solid ground if you decide to. And you wouldn’t need to make a huge stink about it — you’d just say to your manager, “I feel awkward about this, but I feel like I need to let someone know. I’ve been told that Ethel is selling snacks to students, and I felt uncomfortable keeping that to myself. I wanted to pass it on to you so you can decide if it’s something you want to look into.” Keep your tone mater-of-fact here, not outraged or scandalized. You’re just passing on work-related info your manager might want, in the same way you might let her know that a vendor sent the wrong box of flyers, and your tone should reflect that. It’s up to her to decide how to deal with it from there.

You’re not responsible for any consequences to Ethel that stem from this. If there are consequences, that’s her responsibility — and she’s been warned in the past to cut this out, so it’s not like she didn’t realize this wasn’t okay. And really, profiting off students is so icky — it’s not like you’re reporting her for being a couple of minutes late or printing personal stuff on the office printer.

4. How do I word the exact dollar figure I’m looking for?

I am probably really overthinking this issue, but what is the best way to give your salary expectation number? I wonder if there’s a wrong or right way to say it — “65 thousand” or “$65K” or “65 annually”? Or if you’re negotiating how much more money you’d like, is saying “22 hundred” instead of $2,200 unprofessional?

As long as people understand what you’re saying, you’re fine. Any of the examples you gave are clear. There’s no expectation that you’ll speak especially formally and never use common shorthand.

5. How do I tell my team that my husband and I are separating?

I relocated to my husband’s home country about six months ago and we’re now entering a trial separation. I don’t have friends or family here, and have shared the news with my boss. My plan is to remain in this country for the time being. When and should I tell others on the team? Typically, I wouldn’t say anything, but I’m going from a 1.5 hour commute to 10 minutes, and moving into a neighborhood where two colleagues work. (One of the colleagues is my direct report.) What’s more, I’m likely to go home mid-day to walk my dogs at least once or twice a week, which will seem strange since previously that was not an option. My plan is to be matter-of-fact but honestly, I have no idea what to say. Do you have any advice?

You can just say, “Oh, I’ve moved and am now living much closer” without getting into the separation. People are unlikely to respond to that with, “BUT DID DAVE MOVE WITH YOU?” It’s possible that you’ll get some questions about why you moved, and you can answer those with the reasons you chose that neighborhood (“I was ready to be closer to work” or so forth).

If at some point you want to mention the separation, you can, but you’re not obligated to. When/if you do, though, you can just say, “Actually, Dave and I are separated” and reply to any concerned follow-ups with, “Thanks, I’m doing okay!” You can keep it all very vague.