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heliads · 2 years

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Hello Lisa! This is a request for peter pan with the prompts no. 13, 19, 25. I can't wait to read it <3

Congratulations once again on 5k 🎉

lots of love from AU Anon! 💛

thank you!! let's rock

masterlist

Peter Pan never fails.

That’s what his Lost Boys say, anyway, that little expression they love to repeat whenever he outsmarts another shipful of pirates, evil queen, or the latest villain to come to the island and challenge his status. Peter has said it himself more than a fair amount of times, savoring the syllables on his tongue as if by declaring it alone, he’ll have that much more power to find the means to his ends.

Now, however, Peter feels surprisingly close to failing. He has been trying to actualize a goal of his for quite some time, yet somehow he is absolutely no closer to succeeding than he was at the beginning. In fact, he might be even farther from achieving this dream than at first. Every one of his efforts seems to push him away time and time again.

The name of this particular conquest, you might ask? Peter Pan wants the heart of someone quite close to him. He wants to steal that beating organ directly from someone’s chest without a single drop of blood. No violence, only metaphors. He wants someone to fall in love with him, and that person is Y/N L/N.

Peter was not supposed to fall for her. In fact, he specifically has been going about his days all this time in the hopes of never falling in love. Love is a weakness, a distraction from the true glory of not caring about anybody except for oneself. That’s what Peter had been preaching, at least, but all it took was one daring Lost Girl and he’s absolutely set on her.

It’s ridiculous. Peter has been trying to shake this crush for a while now, but nothing he does ever seems to work. He spends some time in his Thinking Tree to identify all the things about Y/N that he seems to love in the hopes of talking himself out of them, but no dice. He tries to treat her like any other Lost Boy so he’ll start thinking platonically instead of romantically, and they end up sparring and he’s got his sword to her throat and she’s grinning at him and– oh no, he’s even worse than before.

No, there’s nothing Peter can do about getting rid of his terrible affections. The only solution, then, is to get Y/N to like him so he can stop pining and get on with himself. However, this is far easier said than done. Y/N is headstrong, wild, out of her mind, and that’s exactly why Peter loves her. This does, unfortunately, lead to Peter’s attempts having less success than he would prefer.

He’s trying again now, though, and this time, it’s going to work. At first, Peter was worried that perhaps he wasn’t being direct enough– if Peter himself didn’t think himself capable of love, it’s not like anyone else would think that he would fall victim to such an occurrence. Y/N might not even realize it, and believe him to just be talking to her like any other friend.

He’s not blind, of course. Peter is Peter, and at the end of the day, that means he’s the most brutal of all of them, the most cunning, the most devoted to trickery. Most of the Lost Boys wouldn’t put it past Peter to make someone think he liked them far better than he did just to achieve a result if he so wished.

Y/N is different, though. For once, there’s no gambit involved. Peter is simply in love, and although that may not seem conceivable to anyone who isn’t him, it’s true. The objective from here on out is not to win a prize, but a heart. Peter may have had less luck on that front than he’d like as of late, but today is going to go differently. He can feel it, or at least he’d like to pretend as much.

Today, he’s going to be direct. In fact, Peter doesn’t think he could possibly be more obvious. The Lost Boys are holding a celebration of sorts to welcome their latest arrival, some bedraggled looking boy Peter’s shadow summoned up earlier today, and the sounds of their wild whoops and cheers should cover up any words spoken between him and Y/N.

She’s sitting on a log on the outskirts of the festivities, watching the dancing and cheering with a glint in her eye. Y/N had been one amongst their wailing numbers only a little while ago, but she relinquished her spot in the ranks to the new boy.

Peter casually takes a seat next to her, raising his voice a little to be heard over the din of the others. “How’s the prettiest person in the world doing?”

There, a clear indication that Peter wants to be more than just friends. However, despite his strong self assurance that this could only be interpreted in a non platonic manner, Y/N just flashes him an easygoing grin and fires the question straight back at him.

“I don’t know, how are you?”

Peter almost sputters. “You think I’m pretty?”

Y/N arches a brow. “Do you think I’m pretty?”

He’s going to lose his mind. “Do you ever take things seriously?”

“Not if I can help it,” Y/N returns, “I thought that’s what we did around here. Made things up and had fun with it.”

“Only in the proper situations,” Peter mutters under his breath. Preferably, serious conversations could still be had in times of need, such as now, when he really needs to figure out if she likes him or not.

Y/N chuckles. “You look like you’re having a wonderful evening. You might want to smile every now and then, or our newest Lost Boy is going to think that we’re all boring and grim.”

Peter arches a brow. “I’m always like this. Don’t you remember that from when you arrived on Neverland?”

Y/N’s eyes warm with the memory. “Of course I remember. I think you threatened to kill me. It was a wonderful start.”

Peter does remember that, now that she brings it up. Perhaps it shouldn’t come as such a surprise that he’s struggling to let his feelings be known; he’s not exactly well known for his emotional outreach.

“Well,” Peter declares, “it worked for you, obviously, and it’ll work for the new kid. I, for one, am eager to see what he’ll bring to the rest of us.”

Y/N nods in agreement. “Just don’t get so attached to him that you forget about me, alright?”

The fire sparks nearby. The extra light casts Y/N’s face in sharper clarity, and for a brief moment, Peter realizes that she’s serious at last. The shadows come soon enough, of course, ridding him of this evidence in no time at all, but her expression is still burned into the back of Peter’s mind like a brand.

“I could never forget about you,” he whispers, “never in a thousand years. Perhaps even in a million.”

It’s getting dark by now, the night settling over them in great heaps of indigo and charcoal, but Peter swears he can still see a slow smile spread across Y/N’s face at his words. He might have a better chance at this than he thought.

Peter goes to sleep pleased with himself that night, but when morning comes, he can’t shake the belief that he made no real progress. The day comes and goes, bringing with it no sure signs that Y/N understood what he was trying to say. When Peter wakes up early the morning after that and sees Y/N along by the water’s edge, he all but jumps at the chance to talk to her alone again.

Y/N’s skipping stones as far as she can. The water is slow around here, less restricted by the tides. The bay opens up to the sea farther out, but right here, all is calm and bright. The sun is steadily climbing through the sky, setting a ripple of sparkles atop the blue of the water.

She turns to him with a smile when she hears him approach. “Thought that was you. No one else does the whole ‘ominous lurking’ thing like you, by the way.”

Peter snorts before he can stop himself. “That’s a terrible thing to say to somebody.”

Y/N chuckles. “Doesn’t mean it’s not true.”

She turns to pick up another pebble, hurling it as far as she can into the shimmering depths. Peter raises a hand to shade his eyes from the sun, and he can just make out where it lands on the horizon.

“I didn’t think you’d be up so early. We were training all yesterday, everyone else is still sleeping in.” He comments.

Y/N lifts a shoulder. “You’re not. Plus, I only get so many hours by myself around here. I wanted at least a few moments to myself.”

Peter freezes slightly, wondering if that’s a hint for him to get lost. Y/N gestures at him to join her, though, so she must not be including him in her wish for everyone else to keep their distance.

Peter picks up a smooth stone, tossing it up and down in his palm before sending it skipping across the surface. “I can’t blame you for wanting some time alone. The rest of the Lost Boys are a good bunch, but we spend a lot of the day together. I often walk by myself in the mornings, if you ever wanted a place to be alone with somebody else.”

He manages to tinge the offer with the faintest bit of hope, like the last of his spirit is bleeding out into the request. Peter doesn’t know how many more ways he can try to tell Y/N how he feels, but he’s running out of options.

Y/N puts down the rock she had just picked up, and turns to look at him in earnest. “If this is your way of asking me out, I think I’m going to need you to try a little harder.”

Peter stares at her. “What?”

Her voice, usually so light and carefree, is deadly serious. “I need to know how you feel, Peter. I’m sick of playing games or trying to figure each other out through extended hints and innuendos. If this is what you want, fine. I just need to know the truth.”

Peter feels floored. He’d thought he was being obvious, but Y/N looks like she hasn’t been sure of him for quite some time.

So, he nods, and does his best to give her some clarity. “I am trying to ask you out, Y/N. Honestly, I am. I know that I’m– difficult, maybe, or hard to handle, but it’s true. I want to be the closest person to you, closer than anyone else.”

The faintest of smiles is starting to slip across her face, warming her hesitant expression, giving new light to her eyes. Peter thinks he could watch that sort of transition like a sunrise, constantly seeking it out, always enamored to have it all to himself.

“So you really do like me, huh?” She comments, so unconcerned by the gravitas of Peter Pan himself falling for her.

“I do,” he says calmly, “but I don’t know how you feel. Tell me you love me, Y/N. I need to hear it just the once.”

He has always been one for theatrics, for showmanship, and he can’t resist now. Something about hearing her say the blessed words once and for all will finally let him rest.

Y/N seems to know this, and so she smiles and indulges him. “I love you, Peter. I have for quite some time.”

Just like that, he’s golden. Peter is used to his endless stretch of years and decades and centuries. He’s always had the Lost Boys, but now he has something better, someone even closer than those friends. He has someone to love, someone who loves him back, and that makes all of the difference.

ouat tag list: @lovesanimals0000, @amortensie, @lost-ender

#5k celebration #peter pan #peter pan imagines #peter pan x reader #peter pan oneshot #ouat #ouat imagines #ouat x reader #ouat oneshot #once upon a time #once upon a time imagines #once upon a time x reader #once upon a time oneshot #ouat peter pan #ouat peter pan imagines #ouat peter pan x reader #ouat peter pan oneshot

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lerrryyyyy · 1 year

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TDDK AU | Call the Soul by Name

Soulmate AU where you only find your soulmate when they call you by your name.

For heroes or those with another alias, it's not uncommon for the hero name/alias to also be the name their soul responds to.

Circumstances may differ for each individual of course.

Sometimes you'll find your soulmate when they say your last name. Sometimes it might be your given name, or a nickname. Sometimes you don't find out until your soulmate has their own nickname for you. Sometimes the 'feeling' - the indescribable sensation many relate to the phenomenon of your soulmate uttering your name - may respond to various names you identify by, but differ in intensity for each.

°°°

Shouto finds out Midoriya is his soulmate during their internship with Endeavor. When Midoriya yells "Shouto-kun!" while throwing his costume case at him.

Which shocks Shouto into stumbling for a split-second - almost getting hit in the face by the case.

Once they've calmed down afterwards, Shouto convinces himself that, with the sudden rush in battle, he might've mistaken that 'soulmate feeling' for adrenaline. No one's been able to describe how it felt in concrete detail so Shouto isn't exactly sure what he's supposed to look out for.

He decides to save the conversation for another time - after they deal with all the villain attacks.

A plan that is promptly flung into the back burner when chaos erupts and leads to Midoriya leaving UA.

When Shouto finds Midoriya gone, anger at himself and regret for putting off the soulmate talk burns in his chest. If Midoriya knew about the possibility of their connection, would he still have left?

Knowing his self-sacrificing tendencies; probably.

Midoriya would carry the burden of fighting villains by himself to protect everyone. Maybe even more so if there is a soulmate to be kept safe.

And a part of Shouto is angry at Midoriya for that as well.

For not trusting them to have his back. For being so reckless to do this alone. For not letting them share the burden and fight alongside him.

Nevertheless, it fuels his drive to find his soulmate and bring him back.

°°°

Izuku finds out when the 1A comes for him.

When Todoroki yells, calling him 'Deku'.

Todoroki has never called him by his hero name before - it had always been 'Midoriya' even during their internships.

A feeling he can't describe shoots up his spine, almost freezing him in place. His gaze snaps towards sharp heterochromatic eyes and understanding dawns on him.

His resolve wavers for a second.

It's enough to give 1A the opportunity to finally catch him and bring him back.

°°°

Back in UA, Todoroki practically sticks to Midoriya's side the whole time, waiting for the opportunity to start that conversation they needed to have.

As the class slowly and hesitantly goes off to give Midoriya the space to clean up, Todoroki volunteers to get an extra set of clothes for him, then silently stays to wait.

When Midoriya steps out of the showers with that heartbreaking exhaustion that now constantly painted his face, Todoroki silently takes the towel from his hands and gently helps him dry his hair.

A tentative silence settles over them before Midoriya softly asks if he had known about them being soulmates. Todoroki only pauses for a moment before admitting that he hadn't always known, but he'd suspected it since their internship.

Midoriya responds with silence.

And something about it draws honesty from Todoroki's lips - about how he was convinced that he must've imagined it. About how a part of him chalked it up to wishful thinking. Too good to be true because he didn't expect the universe to grant him a soulmate in the first place - much less someone he felt strongly for.

"I'm glad it's you", Midoriya admits with a small smile.

At Todoroki's surprise, he flushes and ducks his head shyly, muttering about how he sees Todoroki as one of his closest friends, and trusts him wholeheartedly.

After another moment of hesitation, he adds that with everything that's been happening, he'd been too preoccupied to think of soulmates or romantic attractions.

Todoroki starts to pull away, but Midoriya frantically holds onto him. "But, Todo- Shouto-kun!"

Shouto shivers at the prickle of warmth that races underneath his skin.

"Ah, I'm sorry, that was rude, I should've asked first, I'm so--"

"No." Shouto interrupts him. "Say it again. Call me Shouto... please..." he tacks on the last part almost like an afterthought, yet it doesn't dampen the expectant look on his face.

"S-Shouto-kun...?" Midoriya acquiesces, jaw dropping at the blush it draws out from the usually reserved.

"It feels warm..." Shouto muses.

Midoriya really can't help but stare.

"I can imagine falling for you easily." He blurts out. His cheeks redden at the horrifyingly honest declaration.

He doesn't take it back though.

Shouto tenses despite how fast his heart pounds. "You don't have to-"

Midoriya shakes his head, "I'm not just saying that... you're... you're incredible, Shouto. You're so strong in many ways. And so kind. You're amazing." He ducks his head, anxiously biting his lip. "I want to try this soulmate thing... if you want--"

"Yes." Shouto breathes out before he could even think about it. "Yes, Mido-- De-- Izuku."

Izuku's eyes widen in surprise and his cheeks turn an endearing darker shade of red. "Oh." He breathes almost reverently. "That sounds better than my hero name."

Shouto's fingers tighten around scarred hands, "Izuku".

The smile that lights up Izuku's face is so radiant Shouto almost chokes out a sob. He hadn't seen that kind of smile from the boy in so long that he eagerly welcomes the burst of affection he had tried to push down before.

"Shouto-kun." Izuku says like a prayer. "Is it selfish? Even when there's so much going on and everyone is in danger and--"

Shouto shakes his head, "it's not selfish to want something good in this shitstorm."

Izuku laughs at his language, "Shouto!"

Shouto's lips quirk up at Izuku's reaction - a far cry from the exhaustion he'd been sporting earlier. "And in any case, I think you, more than anyone, deserve to be a little selfish right now."

Izuku freezes, eyes watering ever so slightly - a glint of hope in the sea of hesitation. As if the idea of something positive seemed impossible to reach for but desperately wanting to leap for it. "Can I... can we really...?"

Shouto leans his forehead against Izuku's - their noses touching. "Yes, if that's what you want."

"Do you? Want this too?" Izuku's scarred fingers trembled in Shouto's grip.

"Yes." He repeats without hesitation.

Izuku's tone softens even more. "Can you give me time? To fall for you?"

"You can have forever if you need it." Shouto responds so earnestly that Izuku can't help but chuckle.

He leans more against the taller boy, trusting him to support his weight as tiredness ladens his limbs despite the way his chest flutters with bliss.

"That's a lot of time," he rests his ear against Shouto's chest, listening to the sound of his heartbeat.

Shouto presses his cheek against Izuku's damp locks, "I'll wait."

Izuku's face grows warmer, but his smile doesn't waver even as he feels the beat of his heart racing ever so slightly to catch up to the rhythm of Shouto's.

There's still more they need to talk about later on.

But Izuku's pretty certain of one thing.

"I don't need that long, Shouto-kun."

#tododeku #todomido #bnha #midoriya izuku #todoroki shoto #au rants #soulmate au #call the soul by name #this is supposed to be like an AU rant #but it became a kind of drabble #and UHHHH i honestly dont wanna call it a fic #coz idk if i should qualify it as one #coz its not polished and stuff #BUT OK THATS DONE I HAVE LET OUT AN AU ARANT #also this is inspired by some stuckony fics Ive read so uh yeh

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sirthisisa-wendys · 2 years

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Something in the Way (Part 3): Kakucho Hitto

synopsis: Kakucho Hitto isn't the best superhero in the world. He thinks of himself as mediocre, though the citizens of his city seem to think otherwise. But when a mistake leads to the re-emergence of a long-dormant villain, he has to handle you, the person he's supposed to fight. Will he be able to quiet the noise in his own head to do what's right? Or will you take him down with you?

wc: 1.1k

tw: dark themes

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A light breeze crosses the back of Kakucho's neck, fiddling with the loose strands of hair peeking out from under his mask.

"You can come out now."

The pursuer had been following him for quite some time, hiding stealthily in the shadows and sneaking between various tight hiding spots. Too bad Kakucho lured them into a tighter spot they might not be able to get out of without an extraordinary amount of help. When no one comes forth, Kakucho side-eyes himself. Perhaps he had been paranoid and the implant had been wrong...

We're never wrong.

The eyes Kakucho felt following him seem to slink off, off to someplace he couldn't identify on his own.

"Well now they're gone," he gripes, crossing his arms. "You're fucking paranoid."

I don't need any help determining things, the voice in his head snaps back. Maybe if you just waited to see--

"Enough. Where to next?" A small sigh escapes Kakucho's lips as he's given directions, but there's a nagging feeling in his gut - not his head - that he hasn't seen the last of his unknown stalker.

______________________________________________________________

"We need to talk."

Your husband looks up from his breakfast, his eyes widening.

"I'm always open for a conversation," Shoji murmurs, placing his fork on his plate. "What's troubling you, perle?"

"I just..." You drop your spoon onto your plate, sighing. How could you tell your husband that you wanted to live the wild life again? That you wanted to quit your 9 to 5 and become one with the dirty underbelly of your city once more? "I think I need to quit my job."

"Okay," Shoji nods, lacing his fingers together. "What makes you want to quit your job?"

"I want to be a freelancer," you reply. "I don't want to be chained to the hum-drum of the same thing every day." Shoji tilts his head to the side, blinking. "I know you earn enough money working on machines and doing your programming. I mean, I make only a little bit compared to what you're doing, so--"

"You don't need to tell me any more. I understand, y/n." Shoji stands, grabbing his plate and hobbling off to the kitchen. "I'll be in my office if you need me."

"Wait," you protest, following him. "That's it? You're not upset?" Shoji pushes his chin-length raven hair back behind his ears - exactly like when he's focused on a project or making something that didn't work work - and he sighs, cleaning off his plate in the sink before placing it in the dishwasher.

"I'm not upset with you, y/n. I knew you always wanted to go out and live life the way you dreamed it would be. I didn't expect it to be this soon, but you're right. We have enough money for you to go a spread your wings." After he dries his hands off on the kitchen towel, he reaches over to cup your chin and kiss it tenderly. "I love you whether you're the VP of advertising or a housewife. Now, I'm going to get ready for the presentation at the office tomorrow. Get some sleep, perle."

And with that, he leaves you alone in the kitchen, contemplating your newfound freedom.

______________________________________________________________

"I'm telling you, it was probably just someone wanting to get a picture of me."

No.

"Why do you insist it was someone who meant us harm?"

Because I said so.

"You need an update anyway. I should've allowed them to take you out of my head a long time ago." Kakucho yanks open his fridge door and sends his cat scrambling for cover as he plucks out the last thing left: a bottle of Fireball Cinnamon.

Kakucho finds a comfortable spot on the couch and sits back, drinking straight from the bottle as the TV plays some reruns of a popular TV show he never had the time to watch or care about. For a moment, he wishes Izana would burst into his apartment and cause hell at six a.m., but hoping for an appearance seems to be futile as the sun rises higher in the sky.

We need... some... sleep. The voice travels through murky thoughts, a bubble popping in the middle of a warm bog. But Kakucho ignores the warning and gets up to wobble to his desk, looking at the various emails of people's names, faces, birthdays, and death days for publication.

We need sleep, the voice reiterates sharply, like a stick snapping in a quiet forest. Stop drinking that poison.

"Why don't you do... something useful and... shut the fuck up," Kakucho hiccups, leaning on the plywood of the desk. "I've got a job to do."

But before his fingers can touch the keyboard, he feels himself slipping out of the chair, a dull and far away "bang" echoing in his mind as he passes out on the floor.

When Kakucho awakens, a groggy sensation takes over his entire body and claws at his mind, ripping it to shreds.

"Hey," he whispers, but no one responds.

And it's still light.

The TV is still on - now proclaiming some advert for some kind of shower aid - and when he lifts up onto his hands and knees, he finds that there's something wrong. Something dreadfully wrong.

The sharp smell of piss catches him off-guard, and for a second, he thinks the cat's gone outside o the litter box. But his wet joggers tell a different story. Another smell hits his nostrils and Kakucho gags, blinking rapidly to perhaps get rid of the sight before him. But the source of the mess remains there as if to remind him that things have gone too far.

Or have they?

The sound of a news alert catches his attention, and even though there are things to be taken care of in front of him, Kakucho tries to watch the pictures swimming in his vision.

"What's..." His breath hitches when he sees something bright, hears someone screaming, notices the way the building seems to be... leaning. "We have to do something." Kakucho tries to stumble to his feet but when he finds he can't move, he smacks his head. "Come on, come on, we have to save these lives!" The implant is quiet. So deathly quiet. Kakucho beats his head a few more times, daring it to wake up and make him sober, make him powerful, make him who he ought to be at all times.

"Come... on... wake... up!"

It's futile, though. He gets up to his feet somehow and ambles around until he reaches his closet, where his suit hangs like a smudge of black in the sky. "I gotta do this," Kakucho slurs, grabbing the item off the rack and disrobing as fast as he can. "I have to save those people."

#kakucho hitto x reader #tokyo revengers #tokyo revengers x reader #kakucho hitto

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newmsies · 1 year

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what made you like Oscar so much? is there anything behind your version of him you wanna share?

NO IDEA! i fr just looked at him one day and was like "...How do you give adoption papers to a movie character." I think it might've been at like the height of my "Oh shit I'm a horrible person" whatever that thing was, took a look at what was considered one of the villains in that movie and then i woke up and Oscar was my favourite. With the anything behind part, the more i like a character the more i project onto them, which is the French and Jewish part as well as the Non-Binary part, technically i am not Non-Binary i am Transgender, however at the time that i had created that HC i still identified as Non-Binary! About the French part, while it is that i myself am a French immigrant, the surname Delancey is also French! Delancey It means "From the town of Lancey, France." Which i just made cannon in my head because it seemed fun, it was better than making them Irish because there are so many people who do that with everyone, no offense to the people who do that of course. For the Jewish part, that's almost entirely projecting and that Shon Greenblatt is Jewish himself, he's Ashkenazi Jewish. Other than those i often view Oscar as romantic goth, romanticizing a painful love while also viewing him as Pan Aroace (An individual who likes all people regardless of gender in a non-romantic and non-sexual way) The reasoning behind that is i just find it fun, viewing Oscar as a romantic goth is fun it's interesting and gives me room to add to his character in ways that i think are fun, it's always been easy to me to look at Oscar as a Noel Gruber type character, romanticizing a painful and toxic love. that's why in one post i had said that i thought Oscar would love Edgar Allan Poe love stories such as The Raven. It's a depressing story, the meaning behind it is it's supposed to be a mournful, never ending remembrance, the narrator had lost Lenore and never forgot her driving him basically mad. It's a beautiful and sad story that I've always put with Oscar! With the separate names on his pronoun card, that is all association from actor, associating two characters from my favourite movies Freddy's Dead and Newsies all because Shon Greenblatt was in both. Seeing Oscar as the younger brother to me has always made more sense, Morris is the more physical of the two but Oscars the one sayin the shit that might get them into a lot of fights, that and him being the shorter one of the two in almost every version, i can't see him being the elder sibling especially not with how David Sheinkopf and Shon Greenblatt acted out the two brothers. I've most definitely only been sharing things I've already shared on here but there is a ton behind them.. this is already super long though so I'm debating making a part two! There isn't much i haven't shared except for hc's on how them and Morris got to New York and got to the world and the refuge and things like that because it is a big thing that i must've shared at some point but it has changed since the last time i shared it, must've been in November of last year so I'll just type that out now, I'll just reblog this post with that one and if that wasn't exactly what you were looking for with the ask I'm so sorry, amd I'm so sorry this is so long 😭

#newsies #newmsies #92sies #newsies 1992 #oscar delancey newsies #92sies oscar #oscar newsies #oscar delancey #delancey brothers newsies #delancey brothers #HAHA THIS IS GONNA BE SO LONG #BUCKLE UP BBQ

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alwida10 · 2 years

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Distinguishing quality and preference concerning the Loki show

I’m tired, so please allow me to address some misconceptions people who liked the show have about us (the people who did not like the show).

1. “People hate the show because they can’t identify with Sylvie”

For me this one is true. I can’t identify with her, and I would say that’s probably because the show did a bad job of establishing her trauma. The first time we “see” her is in the song ‘I need a hero’ slaughtering Minutemen. That’s two opposing messages here: a) she’s supposed to be the hero, b) she’s slaughtering people who have not been shown to be evil by themselves. Yeah, they work for an evil organization, but they are only workers. Butchering them is at least a sign of bad taste. As soon we “meet” her properly, she TELLS us of her trauma. It is not SHOWN. (Please google the rule “show, don’t tell” for a longer explanation). I didn’t see her suffering, so all I have is my fantasy to picture her. The self-assured way, the heroic song, the cool outfit. Nothing indicates her suffering besides her words. Also, on TV things that are only told normally turn out to be lies or at least ambiguously framed.

-> This is a sign of the bad quality of the writing!

Also, I personally can’t stand Sylvie. She’s rude to my favorite character and while I am aware that in-universe she doesn’t have any reason to be nice and her backstory did not exactly involve many occasions to learn a respectful way around people it doesn’t endear her to me.

-> This is about preference and not the reason why I call her badly written. That I do because they didn’t show her backstory which would probably have done more to endear her to me.

2. “I’m baffled how many people failed to understand what the show is about.”

You see, “understanding” and “falling for it” aren’t the same. Yes, I get the show was structured as a classical redemption arc;

It gets established why the villain is bad: Loki is framed as a power-hungry narcissist who invaded New York solely to get a throne. He doesn’t even know why he wants one, but it’s his goal to rule.

A savior appears, showing the villain the consequences of his evil ways: Mobius video shows Loki that his former self’s evil deeds ended with him getting killed by Thanos. It also shows him, it was his hunger for power and revenge that led to Frigga’s death.

The villain agrees to help said savior but does it in truth for selfish reasons: Loki helps Mobius because he wants to meet the time keepers and possibly overthrow them, so he finally gets to rule.

Working together makes them build a relationship: That’s what the salat scene, Pompei and Mobius telling Loki he is sorry for the ice runt, shivering in the cold are for.

The villain betrays the savior in a critical moment, relapsing into his old, evil habits: Loki betrays Mobius by following Sylvie through the portal. He possibly plans to team up with her against the TVA.

There are consequences for the villain, showing him that his relapse destroyed the relationship he cherished already, because he never had one “real” relationship before: Mobius calls Loki a “bad friend”. Later Loki’s involvement leads to Mobius being pruned.

The villain is now outcast from the good side, and finds himself among fellow villains again, but realizes this doesn’t fit him anymore: Loki finds himself among the traitorous Lokis in the void, who are all power-hungry narcissists, except for Classic Loki, Kid Loki and possibly Alligator Loki, who managed to “fix themselves” as Classic Loki said.

The villain finds his new purpose in a relationship that makes him now fight unselfishly for the good side: Loki decides to fight for Sylvie’s goal even though she’s not even there for the positive feedback. Later he risks his life and sacrifices the Utopia Miss Minutes offers him.

So, why would one possibly hate that? BECAUSE LOKI HAS NEVER BEEN A NARCISSIST!! They redeemed something that NEVER WAS PART OF HIS CHARACTERIZATION!!! The redemption arc does not work if you considered Loki a good person at the beginning.

In the show, he needs to be a narcissist, power-hungry, and selfish because Mobius slide show is supposed to open Loki’s eyes to the bad consequences his behavior has for those he loves. Mobius standing by him is supposed to show Loki how being selfless pays off. Mobius calling him a bad friend is supposed to show Loki the consequences of relapsing into bad behavior. Sylvie is supposed to show Loki that he is as lovable as she is and that him enduring all that happened to him can be considered good quality. An internal value HE has just as much as she has, so there is no need for him to delve into power plays for something external to measure his value on.

Let me repeat that: If you consider Loki a good person who acted well-intending before and only happened to cause bad things by accident the REDEMPTION ARC DOES NOT WORK! Because you will have someone who wanted to protect Asgard from a war with other realms by delaying Thor’s coronation and ended up being tortured into compliance by Thanos ONCE AGAIN tortured, having to plead for his life. That is no redemption arc. Even if you include him admitting that he does not enjoy hurting people and he is afraid of ending up lonely (which is both in good agreement with his former characterization). It makes him just more miserable and the people who treat him like that even crueler. If Mobius wanted to manipulate this Loki into compliance, he would have shown him Thanos torturing him, threatening him to put him back into a time cell where Thanos does that over and over again. A morally good Loki had been aware of the bad consequences of his doings because he didn’t do the things for himself. His original source for self-loathing was that he was treated lesser by Odin, that whatever he tried, he never managed to be “worthy” and most of the time he was not even hearted. But he still was a good person, who tried to do the right thing for Asgard, protecting her people. Healing him would have demanded someone to acknowledge Loki was mistreated, to hear him out. Not to tell him how selfish and evil he was.

-> Loki has been known as a complex villain ever since Thor 1. Complex in this context means he's not simply bad because he's evil, but because his motives can be seen as honorable. The show changes that into him being one-dimensionally evil. A redemption arc not being tailored for the character it is about is a sign of bad quality.

I have been in the fandom ever since Ragnarok. I have both read and written endless metas on how he is a good person. I followed many meta writers because I loved to see their takes on how Loki endured mistreatment and still chose to spare this servant’s life who ridiculed him. Perhaps it is true that I only hate the show because it didn’t confirm my headcanons. But you know what? I loved the hero Loki. I hate the villain they made him in the show. And I hate how people are now saying Loki was never able to love someone before, denying his love for both Thor and Frigga that had been shown in the former movies. I hate how people who defended him against people who saw him only as a bad guy are now saying he rarely showed prosocial behavior (as if saving Asgard from Thor’s idiotic rule, or giving Thor his support and love if under the disguise of being Odin at the end of TDW would have been anti-social.)

So, to be entirely clear here: The show is anti-Loki.

It’s easy to miss since it is (supposedly) a show about him, putting him into the focus. But the show is biased against him, and it shows in many, many little details. One is that Loki gets mercilessly ridiculed. Scenes such as the slow-motion punch, him trying to argue for “fine Asgardian leather”, him threatening Alioth with a toothpick just to get ignored, and so many more scenes – those are NOT intended to show a person in a good light! If their goal was to make the show fun, there are other kinds of humor. There is snark (remember Avengers Loki), there is Loki playing tricks on others, there would be the possibility to humiliate OTHER characters. Neither Sylvie nor Mobius had been ridiculed in the show even once! Why not? In Thor Ragnarok, even Thor gets his share But not in the show.

That was not by chance. That was intentional. It retconned his characterization into now being inherently evil shown by the fact that all Loki’s in the void are or have been evil.

For all those who like to argue the show was Tom’s baby and we have to like it because he liked it: in 2013 that “all he gets ‘he’s evil’, thanks”. Now he started an interview with “Loki is a comic book villain”, while looking dead inside. Only 5% of his ideas made it into the show. This trailer ridicules Tom speaking well about Loki. Waldron calls Loki an “ass”. How much more evidence do you need to see the creator's bias against him? As of yet, it might be possible to see situations like Loki challenging Alioth with a toothpick and say “you moron” lovingly. But how long will it stay like that? As I mentioned above – there are already people who like the show who are adapting the “Loki has always been evil rhetoric”. If this goes on, Disney will make you shit on him just as much as they are already doing. It does not matter we can now cite canon that Loki "never enjoyed hurting people" because the show made it canon he INTENTIONALLY hurt people to sate his hunger for power. It is not by accident the show never addressed him being tortured by Thanos because that is not canon for them. The Marvel wiki says he had been influenced by the scepter, like the Avengers when they started arguing. That is not the same as being tortured or mind-controlled. They (the creators of the show) made it canon that Loki himself acted on his own free will to invade New York and help Thanos because that is how they see him. As a villain who didn't care for anyone but himself.

If you enjoy the show, I am glad for you and a bit jealous because at least you got the Loki content you wanted or are somehow able to reconcile it with a conflicting view on him. But that is not my Loki. I loved the good man he had been in phases 1 and 2.

TLDR: Please stop telling me my reason would be that I can't identify with Sylvie or because I'm a misogynist.

#Loki meta #Loki series negativity #I have seen headcanons that tried to combine the TVA Loki with him not wanting to rule and still being tortured by Thanos #and I respect that #it's probably a way to make the show easier to stomach #but everyone who claims that would be more than a headcanon has still to provide evidence #because I didn't see any in the show #And i am deeply convinced the creators don't share that headcanon #if you have evidence i might have missed #please tell me #so i can update my opinion #and perhaps sleep a bit better #because i hate the show so much it pains me #they killed a beautiful heroic man with that shit #and made him a petty dump weak brat #anti-tva loki #anti mike waldran #anti kate harron

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i-dreamed-i-had-a-son · 3 years

Text

Alright I'm not *entirely* sure I know where I'm going with this but I'm gonna vaguely pull on my previous thought that the Loki series portrays Loki as other people see him to make sense of episode 4

I know some people were upset about how it seemed like the series was agreeing that Loki was a narcissist, so let's explore that, because I don't really think that's the case. In the Sif time loop scene, we see Loki say,

Please, please, no more. Please, I beg you. I'm a horrible person. I get it. I really am. I cut off your hair because I thought it'd be funny. And it's not. Uh... I crave attention... because I'm... (Sighs) I'm a... I'm a narcissist. And I suppose it's... It's because I'm scared of being alone.

He's clearly exhausted and wants the beating to stop. He also knows what Sif thinks of him (helpful that she's been repeating it), so he says what he knows she wants to hear--but here, as with Mobius in episode one, although he is being strategic with what he says, he's also being genuine, at least mostly. He's too drained to do anything else, and he knows it wouldn't work anyway.

Loki absolutely is scared of being alone. That's the core fear he has, which is why he wanted to be Thor's equal--he didn't want to be abandoned or forgotten about (which, coincidentally, is exactly the punishment Odin gives him in TDW...). That's why it's the last thing he says, why he stutters and pauses so much before getting there--and it also happens to be the thing that Sif keeps throwing back at him. By putting it last, he's hoping he won't have to hear it again. Beating her to the punch, per se. (I also think it's interesting that he says he "never thought about it again" after this event happened, but yet it is the one Mobius puts on a loop in order to "soften him up". Clearly, Loki did remember this as a very painful memory--probably because it hits on his deepest fear--and it's effective in exhausting him emotionally, just like the footage of his life was. It's interrogation prep so that he's already vulnerable when he gets to Mobius. But anyways.)

I think he somewhat believes the other things he says, but only because it's been beaten into him so many times. Loki wouldn't think he's a horrible person, but he knows Sif does, and Thor, and Odin, and the Avengers, and Mobius--so maybe he is? This self-doubt is particularly clear with the "narcissist" line. It's framed like an admission, and I think it's because he's started to believe it. But that's not because it's true, and we're not supposed to believe it either.

Loki has always adapted himself to meet other people's expectations, and that's exactly what he does in this interaction as in so many others. He doesn't really know who he is, just who other people think he is, and that person is a horrible one, so that's what he says about himself. And other characters certainly aren't disagreeing. Mobius throws the same kind of lines at him when interrogating him in episode 1:

Look at that smile! You're enjoying that!

(LOKI: I know what I am.) A murderer?

You're really good at doing awful things, and then just getting away.

You were born to cause pain and suffering and death.

And by the end of the episode, Loki is emotionally exhausted. He calls himself weak. And when Mobius says, "You do know yourself!" Loki responds with, "A villain?" All of Mobius' attacks on Loki's identity were effective enough that Loki supplies him with another negative identifier--playing into what he wants to hear, just like he does with Sif, to make the attacks stop.

But it's different in episode 4. Mobius tries the same tactic again, using a word Loki had just used to describe himself:

What a incredible seismic narcissist. You fell for yourself!

This comes after he tried to convince Loki that Sylvie was dead (thus leaving him alone), and it's very much structured to further play on that fear--the only person he could ever be close to (in any way) is himself. He is alone. And it's that thought that's juxtaposed with the narcissist barb. Mobius is defining Loki as a narcissist, not because it's true, but because he's trying to break Loki down.

In reality, Loki isn't narcissistic at all--wanting attention does not a narcissist make. The very fact that he can say "I'm a narcissist because I'm scared of being alone" shows that he isn't one; you aren't a narcissist "because" of something, you just are one! And he's just been told he is one so many times, by people strategically attacking him, he starts to internalize that thought. It reminds me a lot of how people would call Tony narcissistic (even in his Avengers file) and how despite that being untrue, he began associating self-preservation with narcissism and instead took on the responsibility of protecting the whole team at cost to himself. Tony wasn't narcissistic--he used attention-seeking as a cry for help. It's the same with Loki. He wants to be noticed because he doesn't want to be alone.

And it's that desire that's being attacked. Mobius calls him a narcissist for finding companionship in Sylvie, the only person who's even tried to genuinely get to know him. Mobius is trying to keep Loki isolated and emotionally distraught, since Loki is less formidable that way. But Loki holds his own, even getting in the final line. Because of Sylvie, those barbs don't have the same effect as they did before. In episode 1, Mobius says:

It's funny, for someone born to rule, you sure do lose a lot. You might even say it's in your nature.

But look at what Loki says in episode 4.

SYLVIE: Do you think that what makes a Loki a Loki is the fact that we're destined to lose?

LOKI: No. We may lose. Sometimes painfully. But we don't die. We survive. I mean, you did. You were just a child when the TVA took you, but you nearly took down the organization that claims to govern the order of time. You did it on your own. You ran rings around them. You're amazing!

And that's what starts the Nexus event. Loki directly goes against the definition and expectation of what a Loki is supposed to be. He finally defines himself, thanks to and through Sylvie, as someone who survives, someone who is independent, someone who can do anything, someone who "can be whoever and whatever he wants to be"--and the universe breaks.

#marvel #loki #loki series #loki series spoilers #meta #yet another one for which i have no real idea as to whether or not it makes sense but here you go!!#sometimes i take simple thoughts and make them way too complicated ok #basically i don't think the series was trying to say 'loki is a narcissist' i think it's trying to say 'loki defines himself as one...#...because other people do. but they are wrong.' because clearly we're not supposed to respect mobius' view on loki as he interrogates him #he's framed as hostile so a lot of what he says can be discounted as a barb #not @ me finding other reasons that the romantic framing actually WASN'T real lol am i deluding myself? maybe but maybe not #anyways lol #we will soon see if i am remotely right but this is my two cents #took me like. 4 hours to hash out. i'm ridiculous #kay can i just catch my breath for a second #my meta posts #quality meta seal of approval #not to hype my own post up i just put that on all meta posts so that i can find them #kay has a party in the tags #mobius #sylvie

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eliemo · 3 years

Text

Snake Bite

Summary: Janus hadn’t meant to lash out. He’d just felt too much like a cornered animal, and now they all had an excuse to cast him out as the villain once again.

Specifically tagging @anothersanderssidesblog and @wyvern-tales

Based on This Wonderful Post

TW: Panic attack, brief mention of blood, sympathetic everyone

At this point, Janus wasn’t even sure what was being said anymore.

He knew everyone was yelling over each other, and he knew the anger and insults were all directed at him, but right now he didn’t think he could focus on the words even if he wanted to.

And he supposed, if it weren’t for the weight on his chest and the pressure building behind his eyes, his sudden lack of awareness would be a blessing.

He just wanted to go to bed. It had been a bad week, one inconvenience piling up after another, and he was certain if he didn’t get out of this room right now he was going to snap and say something he would regret.

But Roman was still ranting, arms waving as he paced Thomas’s living room, and Janus knew leaving now would only make things worse. He’d let the Prince get it all out of his system, smile like it didn’t matter, and sink out until everyone calmed down.

He understood why Roman was angry, and perhaps some of it was well deserved, but the tirade of shouting seemed entirely unnecessary.

Sure, maybe Janus shouldn’t have disguised himself as Roman after Thomas had summoned his sides for help, especially since he’d begrudgingly agreed not to shape shift since his name reveal, but today there hadn’t been a choice.

No one would have listened if he’d come as himself. Everyone was still wary around him, and they all seemed extra suspicious around him this week. He knew it was because he’d been a little short with all of them lately, but it wasn’t his fault he hadn’t been able to get a full nights sleep in weeks.

He’d been waking up every morning even more tired than he’d been when he’d gone to bed, limbs aching and heavy, and by the time he found the strength to force himself out of bed everyone had already been finished with breakfast, which ruled out any chance of friendly conversation or “bonding” as Patton so lovingly called it.

Not that he cared. He had absolutely no intention of sitting down for their little family meals, no matter what the nagging voice in the back of his head said.

Besides, he wouldn’t have been wanted anyway. Every time he so much as breathed Virgil would act like he’d just tried to set the house on fire, and Roman didn’t even try to hide his glares.

Logan just seemed uneasy, and Patton’s attempts to be friendly were so glaringly obvious and fake.

When Remus made his appearances, at least everything was honest and out in the open. Nothing could offend Remus, and besides filling Thomas’s head with less than ideal thoughts at night he didn’t really mean any harm.

Things were different with Janus, and he knew they always would be.

So, it wasn’t completely unreasonable that Janus was beyond tired and frustrated, and he knew Thomas was too thanks to his demanding schedule.

He needed a break, and Janus was determined to get him to see that. If he called off a few meetings, they could easily have the rest of the week off to recharge and Janus could figure out how to pull himself together.

But Thomas would never agree to a break unless his anxiety allowed it. And it didn’t matter if Janus was correct, Virgil would be caught dead before agreeing with one of Deceit's suggestions.

Virgil and Roman seemed to bond over their mutual hatred of him, so in a last ditch effort, Janus had disguised himself as the Prince and risen up with the others.

He hadn't meant any harm, and it had been going so well. Roman was distracted somewhere in the Imagination, and once he’d gotten Logan to see the logic in taking a few days off Virgil had almost immediately jumped on board.

And then of course Roman had returned just as they were wrapping up, the living room falling into silence as the two Princes stared each other down, and everything erupted into chaos.

Janus revealed himself, despite everyone already knowing what he’d done. He’d heard Roman shout a few things like “Villain!” and “Lying fiend” and the surprisingly hurtful “Why did we even give him a chance?” before he promptly lost the ability to make sense of anything happening around him.

He tilted his head up to stare at the ceiling to avoid having to see everyone’s stares (not to stop himself from crying, because he was not about to cry. He was used to being villainized, he didn’t care), and waited for someone to call Roman off.

But no one did, and suddenly Roman was right in front of him, jabbing a finger in his face, and Janus couldn’t catch his breath.

“You’re not even listening!” Roman shouted. “He’s not listening! What else have you been doing behind our backs you snake-faced lia--”

Janus didn’t even realize he was moving until his fangs were suddenly in Roman’s hand, fingers wrapped tight around Roman’s wrist, and he felt the Prince go completely still as Janus’s teeth sank into his skin.

It all happened so fast, Janus’s mind a frantic, racing blur as he pulled away, feeling horribly like a cornered, wild animal.

He had exactly two seconds to process what he’d done and collect his scrambled thoughts in the sudden, deafening silence before Roman seemed to realize what had just happened.

“He bit me!”

Patton was taking a step forward, and Janus backed away until he was pressed against the wall, wincing when he realized he could faintly taste something coppery in his mouth.

“Kiddo, try and relax,” Patton said, a hand on the Prince’s shoulder. “I’m sure it was just--”

“What, an accident?” Roman demanded. “Patton, he bit me! Like- like some kind of snake-faced demon! Pat, I’m bleeding!”

He was barely bleeding, the bite nothing more than two little pinpricks, and if Janus could find his voice he would have pointed out that Roman was behaving like an overactive toddler.

But he couldn’t. Because he’d been trying so hard to make progress with the others, to be seen as anything other than a lying villain, and one bad day had just undone all of that, completely erasing any chance he might have had.

Because as small as it was, he’d just hurt Roman. In front of everyone. In front of Thomas.

He watched as Logan took the initiative, hurrying to Thomas’s side and guiding him over to the couch.

Thomas looked pale and panicked, which meant that all the commotion was probably making Virgil—

Virgil. Janus couldn’t even bring himself to look at the stairs, painfully aware he’d just see horror and disgust...and maybe a bit of satisfaction. The anxious side had probably been looking for an excuse to send Janus away.

“I’m going to die!”

Janus was pulled out of his spiraling thoughts by a very loud, very distraught Roman who was diligently ignoring Patton’s frantic attempts to calm him down.

“I find that highly unlikely,” Logan spoke up. “While the reaction was completely unnecessary, the likelihood of Janus being venomous is--”

“Was this your plan all along?” Roman yelled, and suddenly his sword was in his uninjured hand. “To wait until our guards were down and then poison us?”

Janus felt numb. “I did not poison you--”

“How can I believe anything you say? You were just masquerading around pretending to be me trying to ruin Thomas’s career!”

“I’m not trying to ruin anything!” Janus couldn’t keep himself from snapping back, feeling abruptly trapped and suffocated. He needed to get out. “I’m doing my job. I’m trying to help. Thomas needs a break- we all need a break!”

“You don’t help Thomas,” Roman snarled, letting Patton pry the sword out of his grip, his bleeding hand held against his chest. “All you do is bring him down! All you do is try to hurt him!”

“Funny,” Janus snapped, well aware of how much power his next words held. “I remember you saying the exact same thing to--”

Patton was suddenly beside him, resting a gentle hand on Janus’s arm, and Deceit felt like he’d been electrocuted. “Kiddo--”

“Don’t touch me!”

Janus yanked his arm away, frantically scrambling away from the wall and nearly colliding right into the television. The room was silent again, but that hardly mattered as he realized with growing dread that he couldn’t breathe.

The room was going blurry, his vision hazy and distorted, and it took him a moment to understand it was because his eyes were flooding with unshed tears.

“Janus?”

He was sinking out before he could even try to identify the voice, rising back up in his room with a strangled gasp.

It felt like his chest was being crushed, everything too loud and too much even in the solitude of his room.

He threw his hat across the room, yanking off his gloves with trembling hands and letting them fall to the floor, grimacing at the glittering scales along his left arm.

He hated them. He hated every part of himself that made him different, everything that proved he was just a villain. Virgil could be accepted as one of them but Janus had no right to...to…

Janus was on the ground, his legs no longer able to support him, landing hard on his knees. He didn’t bother to fight against the sobs tearing at his throat. There was no need to hide, locked away in the seclusion of his room.

He ended up hunched over himself, wrenching sobs tearing their way out of him, his hands moving against his will to tug at his hair, scratch at his scales, pound at the floor- anything to try to unsuccessfully ground himself.

Anger and sorrow were waging a bloody war in his heart- anger at the others for being so cruel, anger at himself for allowing himself to lose control and hurt one of them.

Sorrow because...because he knew it was over now. There was no way to undo this kind of damage. He’d tried- tried to be one of them- and he’d failed. Miserably. Really, he never should have expected anything else but...well, lying to himself was a bit of an unbreakable habit.

They didn’t want him here. And Roman was right, he didn’t help Thomas.

When had Thomas actually listened to him? Just once after the wedding? They would have come to a conclusion without him once Patton calmed down a bit.

They didn’t want him and they didn’t need him. Nobody wanted a two-faced, monstrous villain. He’d tried, he’d tried so hard, but…

Virgil had tried to duck out once. He’d been lost afraid and alone, but…

But he’d been needed. He’d been wanted.

If Janus sunk out it would be different. But maybe...maybe that wouldn’t be such a bad thing. Thomas would be an honest person without Janus and...wasn’t that what they all wanted?

He buried his head in his sleeves in an attempt to muffle his cries, the sobbing becoming loud and uncontrollable, and if he had a little more control he might have laughed at the irony of it all.

Crying over being the bad guy. God, he was so selfish.

He was just barely able to hear the knock on his door in between ragged, hiccuping gasps, but the sound made panic burrow further into his chest, squeezing until he saw spots.

“Go away!” He screamed, voice hoarse and broken. “I don’t- I’m...fuck! Just leave!”

It didn’t matter. It didn’t matter. It didn’t matter if he screamed or yelled or hurt anyone, it didn’t matter if someone heard him breaking down. It wouldn’t matter if he just got a hold of himself and ducked out for good. The sooner they could all forget about him, the better.

But the door to his room was opening (he’d forgotten to lock it, stupid, stupid, stupid), and he quickly curled further in on himself, nails digging into his scalp.

“Jesus Christ, Jan.”

Janus shook his head at the sound of footsteps hurrying closer, flinching when someone grabbed at his wrists.

He tried to tell them to stop, to go away and leave him alone, but he couldn’t get the words out. Every frantic breath was more shallow than the last, and it felt like there was something beating at his chest.

“Stop fighting me, dumbass,” the voice said, and the shock at realizing it was Virgil was enough to clear his head for a split second. “Come on, look at me. Take a breath and look at me.”

Slowly, as Virgil pried Janus’s trembling hands away from his face, he carefully lifted his head to meet the anxious side’s gaze. It might have been his imagination, but he thought Virgil’s eyeshadow might be a shade darker than usual.

“Hey,” Virgil said with a small smile that didn’t match the distress in his eyes. “I need you to just focus on my voice right now. You’re having a panic attack.”

Janus shook his head, dropping his gaze to the floor until Virgil squeezed his wrists slightly, prompting him to glance back up.

“I think I know what a panic attack looks like,” Virgil said, once again with that small, unsure smile. Janus thought this might be the first time in months Virgil hadn’t glared at him. “I’m gonna help you. I’m right here, ok?”

It was all backwards- Virgil shouldn’t be the one crouched on the floor talking a side down from a panic attack, he shouldn’t be forced to be anywhere near Janus who clearly made him so uncomfortable.

All he was doing right now was hurting Virgil, hurting everyone, and this wouldn’t be happening if he just wasn’t here--

“Hey, hey hey.” Virgil was suddenly readjusting his grip to take Janus’s hands, bringing them to his own chest. “You’re ok, you’re fine. I want you to copy my breathing now, can you do that?”

“I- I can--”

“You can do it,” Virgil said. “You used to help me do it all the time, remember? In for four, hold for seven, out for eight, right?”

Janus swallowed and nodded, squeezing Virgil’s hands despite himself.

Virgil smiled back at him, and slowly began to count out the breaths, gently encouraging Janus each time he made it through a count, quickly reassuring him when he didn’t.

He sounded a bit like a mixture of all the light sides, and Janus briefly wondered how many panic attacks his new family had helped him through.

It felt like hours, but gradually Janus was able to begin to breathe on his own, his whole body still shaky and weak.

He took one last deep breath, and Virgil released his hands when he exhaled. Janus tried to ignore the pang in his chest at the loss of contact.

“You ok?”

Janus nodded, running an unsteady hand through sweat soaked hair, steeling himself enough to lie. “I...I’m fine. You can go now.”

Virgil scoffed. “Yeah, not happening. You’re gonna get cleaned up and calm down, and I’m going to sit here in case you need help. And then you’re going to let Roman apologize before he does something stupid and self destructive--”

“I don’t need an apology,” he snapped, and it would have been much more threatening if his voice wasn’t still shaking. “And I don’t want to watch you all force him to apologize for something he isn’t even sorry about.”

Virgil was watching him curiously as Janus attempted to get his half asleep, aching legs out from under him, furiously wiping at his soaked face with his sleeves.

He needed Virgil to leave and stop pretending to pity him.

“Why are you even here?” He’d meant it to come out as a snarl, but it turned into nothing more than a quiet, tired question. Virgil tugged at his hoodie sleeves, silent for a moment.

“You were having a panic attack.”

“Oh right, and you definitely care about that,” Janus said, finally pushing himself off the ground, grabbing his bed frame for support. “All of you made that perfectly clear today.”

Virgil moved to stand, hands stuffed in his pockets, shoulders hunched. “I know, I’m sorry. We...I should have stepped in. Roman was pissed and he gets carried away sometimes. I was serious about him wanting to apologize.”

Janus cleared his throat and ran his tongue along his teeth, wincing at the reminder of what he’d done. He glanced back at Virgil, at the sudden lack of contempt or distrust in his eyes.

“I would have thought you would be thrilled,” he said truthfully. “Today is the perfect excuse to finally get rid of me.”

And Virgil actually looked...guilty. The anxious side had never been one for eye contact, but now he was definitely doing all he could to look anywhere but Janus.

“You lashed out because we all ganged up on you after a long week,” he said. “I’d...kinda be a hypocrite if I held that against you.”

“I disguised myself. I said I wouldn’t do that anymore.”

“You did,” he agreed. “Because we made you feel like you wouldn’t be listened to if you didn’t, and I...I feel like that’s my fault. Jesus, you just wanted Thomas to take a break. So...yeah. I’m sorry I’ve been a jackass lately.”

“I…” he paused, clenching his jaw against the new wave of tears that threatened to spill over. “Virgil, I...I bit Roman.”

And Virgil actually smirked, like it was funny. “Yeah, and I know a panic response when I see one. Roman feels bad, Janus. We all do.”

Janus froze, wondering briefly if Virgil had just suddenly gotten better at lying since the last time they spoke. But his eyes were genuine, hopeful, and Janus found himself wanting so badly to drop his defenses and believe him.

“Look,” Virgil continued. “I don’t...completely trust you yet. But I know you want what's best for Thomas, even when we disagree. You’re a part of him and...and I know how it feels. To not be sure if you’re wanted. But...but you are.”

“Virgil--”

“So here’s what we’re gonna do,” Virgil said. “You’re gonna clean up, and when you’re ready Roman is going to set aside his pride and apologize, Patton is going to smother you for a few hours, and Logan is going to ask you a bunch of invasive questions about your teeth because he’s a nerd. I can tell him to back off if you want me to.”

Janus let himself smile, small as it was, and he watched as Virgil took another step closer, the anxious side finally looking Janus in the eyes.

“And then Thomas is going to take a break,” he continued. “And you are never ever going to consider ducking out again.”

Janus paled, cold panic returning with a vengeance. “Oh, please. You know I would never--”

“Don’t lie to me,” Virgil said, voice low, and Janus fell silent. “I’ve been there, Janus. I know the look, and I know what it takes to push someone over the edge. You can’t fool me.”

Janus sighed, running a hand over his face. He was speaking before he could talk himself out of it. “You did it.”

“I tried to,” Virgil agreed. “I was wrong. Thomas needs me, and he needs you too. Nobody...No one hates you, Janus. I’m sorry things got this bad.”

Janus just shrugged, pushing back the emotions he wasn’t quite ready to feel, let alone share aloud. But it was...nice, he realized, not being given the cold shoulder anymore.

He hoped it lasted. He missed Virgil more than he was willing to admit. He...wished he was closer to all of them.

“I’m not upset,” Janus said, even as he wiped at watery eyes. “It’s just...been a long couple of days.”

It had been a lot more than just a long couple of days, but he figured Virgil knew that. The anxious side smiled sadly. “Well then it’s a good thing you convinced Thomas to take a break.”

“I just hope it helps.”

“Me too,” Virgil said. “Now go wash your face- you look awful. I can hang out here until you’re ready to see the others. Unless you, like, want me to leave. I can leave you alone.”

Janus smirked, finally starting to feel like himself as he straightened his cape and made his way towards the bathroom.

“I’d really hate it if you stayed,” he called over his shoulder. “You know I absolutely loathe your company, Virgil.”

“Yeah, yeah, whatever.”

Janus let himself break into a full smile for the first time all day, closing the door behind him as he heard Virgil flop onto the bed.

#sanders sides #thomas sanders #janus sanders #ts janus #virgil sanders #ts virgil #roman sanders #ts roman #patton sanders #ts patton #logan sanders #ts logan #angst #panic attack tw #sympathetic dark sides #janus angst #fanfiction #writing

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whump-town · 3 years

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Was Hotch Abused?

I offer you my 2,300+ worded thoughts on the matter with episodes included. There's going to be lots and lots of talk about abuse so you're going to want to steer clear of that if that's something you're not cool with but for those of you interested... I give you all the proof I could think of:

Natural Born Killer.

In the eighth episode of the first season, “Natural Born Killer”, we meet Vincent Perrotta. His father was abusive but from the outside looking in, no one knew a thing. Perrotta started drinking at fourteen and committed petty crimes, as well as assault, for pleasure. Going as far as to kill his own father not too long after. But Perrotta is a monster and a psychopath so it’s clear we’re not supposed to sympathize which makes his interaction with Hotch so peculiar.

Hotch is our “Captain America”. A true neutral with an infinity for doing what’s right so it’s inconceivable to compare him to Perrotta and yet Hotch gives us some rather conflicting lines to dissect.

Before Gideon hands the interview over to Hotch, he spends a moment talking with the others out in the bullpen. The whole time he’s leaned back and he’s watching Morgan and Hotch. Now, at this point, we don’t know about the sexual abuse Derek Morgan faced at the hands of Carl Buford but there’s something about the way that Gideon spends the entirety of the conversation only looking at the two of them. Waiting for them to put together what he clearly already has and when Hotch does…

Hotch jumps straight into Perrotta’s profile, asking: “You grew up in a house that looked normal and happy, didn’t you Vincent?”, “But your father beat you every chance he got”

Perrotta excuses it with a shrug, “he smacked me around some, didn’t everybody’s old man?”

Abuse is a complicated thing and, often, abused children just don’t know what their parents are doing to them is abuse. It can be a subtle and outright thing but there’s an element of normalcy to it. The parent’s abuse is as habitual, as minimal as biting your nails to the child. Adults often can’t identify their parent’s past abuse.

With Hotch you learn that his lack of expression is often as telling as his expressions and as Hotch looks back at Perrotta, there’s something so sad about his eyes. His voice goes from loud, assertive to his whispered answer to Perrotta’s question. “No.” As if, well, maybe that’s a question he’d raised once too.

Perrotta doesn’t care about that though and he taunts “well, maybe if yours had you would have learned to fight”. But is it not more telling that Hotch didn’t make a sound? Perrotta got in several hits and the only sound Hotch made was when the wind was literally punched out of him. Not even when Gideon called to him and at that point, Perrotta did not the garrote around Hotch’s throat. That’s another thing mentioned before in the profile and something Hotch mentions to Perrotta directly. You learn to take the beatings, smile even. So, it’s just a little odd how little Hotch responded…

But that’s all nothing, you can take that how you want

Which leads us to the fateful, not everyone comment.

"You were just responding to what you learned, Vincent. When you grow up in an environment like that, an extremely abusive and violent household... it's not surprising that some people grow up to become killers"

That can’t mean NOTHING, there’s so much there but there’s something about Hotch’s subtle wording. The way he’s unconsciously slipped himself in there (a very real thing that people do) and he hasn’t even realized it. Doesn’t even know he’s done it until Perrotta pushes and he pauses, asks what Perrotta means. And the subtly of it, the way he doesn’t even mean to that says more than anything else.

“And some people grow up to catch them.”

It’s a super-specific comment to make. He can’t possibly be talking about Derek because he doesn’t even know about Carl Buford yet not to mention saying that about him would be incredibly rude if he were talking about Reid (and again, he doesn’t know about Reid’s childhood yet). So… that really only leaves him because JJ, Garcia, and Elle were not abused.

“P911”

In season two, episode two “P911” the team is hunting down a man trying to sell a young boy, Peter, on the black market. Kevin Rose is an underage boy “selling” himself on the internet while his abusive father has been in prison. I’ll let you just guess who it is that leads the team on finding out more about Kevin.

Your guess is more than likely right-- Morgan and Hotch. Now, we know about Morgan but come on. Nothing to say about it being Hotch who makes the emotional appeal?

The camera even follows his gaze, he’s crouched down (to appear non-threatening because he’s so close) and we watch his eyes take in the scars on Kevin’s chest. You can also note that while Gideon remarks that Kevin’s father was “always drunk, you never knew why he was hurting you, why he was so angry” both Kevin and Hotch look away from him.

AND FUCKING TRY AND TELL ME THE “some grow up to catch them” LINE WAS NOTHING TRY BECAUSE GUESS WHAT GIDEON SAYS? NO, NO GUESS--

Gideon: “At night you’d cry yourself to sleep hoping someone would come and save you”

And it’s HOTCH, HOTCH IS THE ONE TO SAY: “You have the chance to be the one who saves someone, Kevin. You can be the one who answers him, the one who stops his pain.”

PARALLELS PEOPLE THE PARALLELS

“Profiler, Profiled”

I bet you weren’t expecting this one, huh? But there’s something about people who faced trauma that makes it so perceptible to other traumatized people-- they sniff it out like coke to a drug hound. And, just guess, who it is that spends the majority of his time fighting with Morgan? Who knows (like I said about the bloodhound) immediately there is something Morgan’s hiding.

Hotch is angry, he’s upset that Morgan would hide anything. Mumbling about there being “larger implications” and how the team can’t have secrets. With the knowledge of exactly what that secret is it makes Gideon’s eye roll a little telling. Because it’s like they both know but neither will say. Driven home by Gideon turning the attention to Hotch, asking “would you want us profiling you?”

And again Hotch is the one to leap onto the abuse. The one to put the pieces together. Hotch’s anger makes no sense. He says he’s angry that Derek’s keeping a secret but the team has many, way too many. Over the years the team unwraps all kinds of secrets, he’s never angry then. So, it’s not about the implication of a secret at all. It’s what the secret is, like misplaced anger. Anger with himself may be leftover from his own abuse. But still…

Hotch lets Morgan escape. Knows exactly who and what Carl Buford is but all he tells the team is that “he won’t even speak about him”. He always knows how to find the abuse… like I said, a bloodhound.

George Foyet

I know you’re going to find this so fucking surprising but guess who also was abused? George Foyet was beaten by his biological father and his mother didn’t save him so he hates women (bleh, men are disgusting what’s knew).

Now, blah, blah, blah Hannah, I know you’re not about to say Foyet and Hotch are a lot alike-- no of course not. Don’t be silly. What I’m going to say is that they’re foil characters? They accent one another in an opposites sort of way. Foyet is a manipulative narcissist who doesn’t work well with others. Hotch is a guilt-ridden team leader who can’t let The Reaper’s case go. There are meant to be comparisons drawn between them. A good villain does that. George Foyet shows us that Hotch is not at all this removed, cool guy that we’ve previously assumed him to be. He cries in an alley because he blames himself when The Reaper kills a busload of people.

We see he has a rather compulsive nature. He never let The Reaper case go and has very personal ties in this case. Not even after Foyet attacks him, if anything it’s worse. He brings the case file home.

But it’s certainly interesting to see yet another “villain” with that same tragic abusive father and submissive mother come into play with Hotch. We’re nearing a point where it’s getting hard to call it coincidence (and according to David Rossi, there simply is not such thing).

Haunted.

In the second episode of the fifth season, “Haunted”, Hotch voice’s over a Dickinson quote: “One need not be a chamber to be haunted, One need not be a house; The brain has corridors surpassing. Material place.” These quotes are often cheesy, if not a little cliché, but given the premise of this episode is in exploring the ways in which a man’s traumatic childhood has left him now grappling for a truth he can not define… well, maybe we can say the writers were onto something here.

Darrin Call, debatably the Unsub of “Haunted”, was abused by an alcoholic father. We see several signs of it throughout the episode-- Darrin’s delayed speech & severe neglect that leaves Darrin in dirty, hole-riddled clothing. If what we see is not enough, the reports that the team is given on Darrin explicitly state that he was extremely physically abused. It is this abuse that leads to the PTSD that he’s diagnosed with.

As sad and disheartening as Darrin Call’s life is, overall it’s the sort of episode that is forgotten over time. When it’s placed right after the episode that viewers have to watch Hotch say goodbye to Haley and Jack then, who is Darrin Call when compared to the agony of watching Hotch show genuine weakness? After watching Hotch lay in a hospital bed, tears in his eyes wondering if his son will remember him? His fears become our own and after watching George Foyet disarm and mutilate the one guy we’ve been led to believe for five seasons is infallibly, unflinchingly never going to break… well, Darrin Call has it bad but our focus is elsewhere.

It’s on Hotch, right?

The guy who is coming back to the job after only a month (and a day) off to recover. Who Morgan worries might have PTSD but he knows they can’t easily measure because Hotch wrote the questionnaire, he knows all the right answers. Who we see has had new locks installed since the attack and has Foyet’s file sitting open on a table for easy access. Who hears Darrin Call’s life (worked the same job without promotion for years before getting fired, no wife, no kids, a hermit) and bluntly asks why Darrin hasn’t just killed himself.

And let’s just take a moment to break down that comment. Hotch, who in the episode previously lost his wife and child, wants to know why a man who is steadily starting to sound a lot like him hasn’t just killed himself.

And I don’t say “sounds a lot like him” lightly.

Darrin Call has PTSD. Hotch, more than likely, has PTSD

Here are some signs just from that episode: hostility (he yelled at Garcia over something very small), self-destructive behavior (he ran into Darrin Call’s father’s house without a vest, back-up, or telling the other’s what he was doing), and guilt (blamed himself for missing the eye twitching Darrin exhibited because of his years of antipsychotic use)

Darrin Call was abused… this marks the second HEAVILY implied time that Hotch has been compared to another man abused by his father

Vincent Perrotta was the first with that hard to forget the exchange

George Foyet and his notably exactly the same past as Perrotta

“Haunted” feels like it’s supposed to prove to the audience that Hotch is losing it. He distances himself from Morgan, leaving every room that Morgan is in. He doesn’t pick up Garcia’s calls after Darrin Call attacks his therapist. The only glimpse we see of the old Hotch is with Emily, pulled to the side, but his guilt burns and he even brushes her off. Shaking his head and turning his back to her because somehow he should have seen something no one else did.

Throw in Reid’s comment about Call “victims are often drawn to the scene of their first trauma” and we’re painfully reminded of Hotch’s apartment. A place you’d think he’d want to escape but didn’t. The man was stabbed nine times in his own apartment and stayed in that same place. Almost sounds like that statement could be applied to Hotch too.

A dash of Hotch’s own comment about where Call would go to in his confusion and he says “to what he knows”, even the importance of how that orphanage is “where he became Darrin Call”. Where does Hotch go? What does Hotch know? The job.

So… we tally now three total Unsubs that Hotch has this direct relationship with. Three Unsubs with abusive fathers and mothers who couldn’t protect them. Hmm… coincidence?

Brothers Hotchner

Supervisor Special Agent Hotchner is a master of hiding, that is undeniable. It’s hard to see anything behind those furrowed brows and impersonal suits and that’s likely for a reason. However, anyone with a little sibling can tell you that no one on this Earth can and will annoy the ever-loving shit out of you like a sibling.

But that’s not really important. Sean and Hotch don’t talk about their parents. At all. Ever.

Hotch says that when Sean was in the first grade he got sent off to boarding school. “I was the screw-up making bad choices”. Interesting enough of a statement to make but you throw in the rough ages of Sean and Hotch at that time and it’s a little more than just “interesting”. You have Hotch at roughly 14-15 getting into trouble just like Morgan did at that same age (coincidence???).

(now you can certainly look at Hotch’s parentification vs. Sean’s immaturity doubled with substance abuse problems but we’d be stretching. “The Tribe” touches on the parentification but Sean just calls it “the big brother” thing and tells Hotch that he’s not Sean’s father and it’s fine it’s whatever. Hotch is a bit pushy. That’s not new. Substance abuse can just be a problem, it doesn’t have to be bc they were abused but again… a little coincidental)

So... was Aaron Hotchner abused as a child? I certainly think so

#criminal minds #aaron hotchner

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comradekatara · 3 years

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the gaang + how well they would do on the infinity train?

this is suuuper hard because there are so many factors to take into consideration. first is obviously the train itself. the train's function in a metanarrative sense is to serve as a vehicle for storytelling, dissecting & deconstructing the process of a narrative and how a character's arc is propelled by their circumstances. the train supposedly functions to improve its passengers, and yet we also know that The Train is a deeply flawed mechanism that can corrupt and further traumatize its passengers just as much as it can "fix" them. when the train invites you in with the single-minded goal of getting your number to zero, assuming you ever disembark, you're probably gonna be left with even more trauma than when you arrived, or at the very least, weirder trauma.

grace wanted to be seen, but instead of learning to value herself for her own intrinsic worth instead of relying on validation from those around her, she was enabled by that validation and literally started a cult. likewise, since jet is basically a less heinous version of simon, i see him taking a similar path to the apex (though he would of course name them the freedom fighters) trying to overthrow the tyrannical one-one and reinstate the True Conductor. he would think his path is righteous. he would think he is protecting those kids from evil. who knows what would happen once he learns the truth.

then there is the matter of what the train wants from you. the train arrives at a pivotal moment in one's life, when they are at an emotional crossroads and need a catalyst for growth. for example, jesse's problem was relatively small (because he is perfect) but hurting his brother caused him emotional turmoil nonetheless, so the train stepped in. this means that to answer this question properly, i would have to answer not only when the train arrives for them, but why, and seeing that every single atla character carries massive amounts of baggage (most of it flavors of trauma that infinity train has not addressed), this proves extremely difficult. i have to identify the most narratively satisfying moment in each character's lives to have the train arrive, and then i have to make assumptions about which cars would propel them which way (emotionally). you're asking me to outline nine different fanfictions.

only jet's character feels similar enough to any of the characters we've seen in infinity train for me to even have an inkling as to what path he would take. while sokka and tulip are quite similar as people (rational, scientific yet creative thinkers who over-rely on logic over feeling, are deeply loyal, and instinctually blame themselves for the problems caused by others), their character arcs themselves have little in common. both aang and hazel experience a tragic loss of pure, childhood innocence (which is why i cry over both of them every day), but in relatively dissimilar ways (at least appa gets to return to aang). min-gi and zuko are both pressured by their upbringings to conform to a standard that makes them miserable to please their parents, only to ultimately embrace their own passion & truth... but not only do those arcs play out completely differently, zuko and min-gi are completely different people, and if anything, zuko's approach to life is far more like ryan's (ie, jumping off a cliff and hoping he lands on his feet).

but what i think you're really asking, at the end of the day, is how emotionally mature, self-aware, and capable of positive growth is each atla character? because how am i supposed to know what the train would do to their psyches, considering each external situation would shape them differently, and unless i'm supposed to meticulously craft fanfiction for each one of them (which i wouldn't be opposed to doing, but only for one character, i simply cannot do all nine – also, i'm surprised infinity train AUs aren't more common, but then again i'm not particularly familiar with fanficition, so maybe it is!), it would only be an approximation, in which i identify their core problem (which again, is not how real people work, or even how atla characters work, but how The Train works) and then analyze how long it would take for each of them to solve said problem.

so, that was a very long-winded preface. without further ado:

aang's main problem is that he keeps running away from his problems, which is to say, distracting himself from the enormity of his grief. personally, i would say his coping mechanism isn't the worst. after all, he experiences so much world-shattering pain in such a short span of time, and he does deserve to preserve his childhood and his innocence for as long as possible. but, for the purposes of the narrative, the train must necessarily disagree. he must confront his grief head-on, without distracting himself from it or flying into a destructive rage that he'd only regret later. it also depends on who his companions are. with katara by his side, he can get through anything (and vice versa), but it's unclear who will be there to guide him through his pain. that said, i know he'd make it through okay. he's aang. he has to.

katara lives in a fairytale. like i said with aang, that's not really a bad thing. she's a great kid with big dreams and a big heart. she wants to save the world, and – guess what! – she does. but living in a storybook strips one's worldview of the nuances of life, not simply the harsh realities of the world, but also the full extent of one's personhood, outside of simply the black and white worldview of heroes and villains. katara's apotheosis is when she confronts yon rha, looks him in the eyes, and sees a human being staring back at her, another human being. she is no longer in a revenge tale. she is out of stories to tell herself. (life doesn't make narrative sense.) ironically, the train is a metaphor for storytelling, so katara coming to realize that she isn't in a story would both be confusingly meta and also fucking brilliant (if i do say so, personally). i don't know how exactly it would play out, but by god i would pay to see it.

in many ways, sokka is remarkably open-minded, and in many ways, sokka is extremely stubborn. i think he'd come to terms with his own emotional growth (which would be rooted in learning his own self-worth) faster than he'd come to terms with the train itself. "okay, fine, yeah, i deserve love regardless of what i can do for other people, but WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS PLACE?!?!?" his journey through the train is actually everyone else's dream experience on the train. passengers and denizens alike keep falling in love with him (or at the very least, admiring him more than they've ever admired anyone they've ever met), but he doesn't even notice because he's too busy being extremely suspicious of everything he comes into contact with. yes, he'll solve your problems and puzzles and help people and make meaningful connections and eventually he might start to realize that he is worth something even when he's alone, even (especially) when he's being unconventional or "weird" or "selfish." but even once he does get his door, does he walk through it? oh no, he takes it apart and tries to figure out how it just created a fucking portal. so while he would technically "do" quite well, he is never leaving that fucking train. rip sokka.

well, toph needs to learn to accept and embrace her own vulnerability. she definitely goes through that same crystal karaoke car tulip did. that, or the train just tortures her by putting her in increasingly more painful situations in which she must ask for help. but that's too awful to even think about, so i'm just gonna say she has to sing karaoke.

zuko needs to learn to trust his instincts and his own internal moral compass instead of the external pressures being forced upon him by his Father (capital F to emphasize that his nation & his father – aka the patriarchy – are one & the same for him, lmao). and he would fail. a lot. but eventually he would realize that his number goes down when he lets himself be himself, and he would leave the train happy. he probably also gets a bunch of cute little talking animal companions to guide him through. he deserves it.

the train appears to suki while she's having a breakdown in solitary confinement at the boiling rock. she finds healthy ways to cope with being put through hell while on the train, and by the time she gets off, she's being let out of solitary. it is a very rewarding experience, and one that she can swear wasn't just some hallucination. she's constantly telling herself yes, of course it was just a hallucination.... but still... it felt so real....

if i had to diagnose azula with one singular problem that plagues her at the core of her very being, it would have to be her fear of rejection. but it's not good enough to just keep having train cars reject azula, she has to accept that rejection, instead of just intimidating people into submission after the fact. she needs to understand why she is being rejected, and be fine with it, and learn from it, instead of letting her lack of universal perfection in every area anyone could ever excel in shake her to her very core. when ty lee proved that she secured the affections of dumb stupid boys better than azula ever could, she did an arson to cope (which of course is still very valid of her uwu). azula needs to learn to come in second place, third place, even last place, and shrug it off, think to herself, "hopefully i'll do better next time, and if not, that's okay also," and once that happens, everything else will fall into place. though maybe she could read bell hooks or smth at some point on the train cuz i think that could help too.

mai needs to stop being so goddamn depressed all the time. has she tried lexapro, or perhaps using a lightbox in winter? her favorite coping mechanism, knives, only helps her feel something some of the time, but most (if not all) of the time she's still being expected to play a part. has she tried, like, being herself? i heard from zuko (you know, the guy? from the train?) that "being yourself" works wonders. so the train gives her that opportunity. and she actually even enjoys herself for once in her miserable fucking life.

omg there must've been some sort of mistake ty lee was totally sent here by accident because she's actually super happy all the time and doesn't have any problems!!!!!!!! jk, can u even imagine? ty lee hates her life too, she just doesn't go around advertising it like mai does with her big dyke boots and depressing eyeliner. but apparently she also needs to learn how to "be herself," whatever that means. as if life isn't a constant performance, you know, like jacques said or whatever. she sees mai on the train. she rolls her big beautiful brown eyes. "oh god, not you too."

#obeetlebeetle #fuck this took me over an hour to write #asks #the gaang and #analysis #AUs #synthesis #mailee infinity train au when.....#sokka is the only one who dies on the train. unfortunate. aunt wu was right once again.#god this question was hard #so many factors to consider #i want the mailee season tho #and i want it NOW!

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undercoveravenger · 3 years

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A Pirate’s Life For Me

Creature Week 2020: Day Two

Pairing: Harry Hook x Siren!Male!Reader

Request: “Harry Hook rescued by a male!siren reader?”

A/N: This is set in an AU where the villains were never trapped on the Isle, so Harry grew up on the Jolly Roger with his father.

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Harry had been working on his father’s ship practically since he’d been born, but in all that time he had never seen the typically crystalline waters of Neverland become this rough. He’d seen the Jolly Roger weather storms before. He’d smelled the salty sea air grow thick with the scent of rain and watched as the dark wooden planks of the deck speckled with the falling droplets of water. He’d seen the sails billow and tear when the winds came ripping through more suddenly than the crew had been prepared for.

This was no normal storm though. The sails were being shredded up on the masts, the wind was thrashing the tail ends of the rigging around like whips and no one had been able to pull them in. Harry had abandoned his previous post almost immediately when he realized just how bad the storm was getting and did his best to help mitigate the damage.

He’d barely managed to reel in one of the flailing lengths of rope and get it tied down when he found himself slammed into by a wayward boom, the thick beam uncontrollable since the vicious winds had torn through the sail. The force knocked him from his feet and sent him plummeting over the ship’s railing and into the freezing water below.

Harry flailed, trying in vain to flounder his way to the surface but only succeeding in tiring himself out. The weight of his heavy leather coat and the sword and scabbard strapped to his hip dragged him further beneath the frigid waves as they soaked in water.

His movements had started to slow and his vision was going dark when he’d first seen it. A dark figure had flitted past him, barely discernible from the black depths around him. Then he’d felt the thickly-muscled tail brush against the back of one of his legs and, as his consciousness finally slipped away from him, Harry hoped that he would drown before the siren chose to do more than observe him.

-----------------------------------

When Harry had woken up and found himself lying on the sun-warmed sand of an unfamiliar beach, he had been sure that this must have been the afterlife. The burning ache of his ribs where he’d been struck by the beam during the storm when he tried to sit up had been enough to convince him that the events of the previous night had really happened.

He forced himself to sit up quickly, ignoring the pain from his bruised chest in favor of attempting to identify his surroundings. He was sure that this was not the main island of Neverland, but it also had a very different appearance than any of the smaller surrounding islands that he had been to. He supposed that the ship could have drifted during the storm, but he doubted that they’d made it into a previously uncharted archipelago. But then, how had he ended up here?

The last thing Harry had known, he had been drowning and the ship had been far enough from land to have made washing up on some beach nearly impossible.

“Oh good,” came the sound of an unfamiliar voice. “You were out so long I was starting to wonder if I hadn’t gotten to you in time.”

Harry wheeled around at the sound of the stranger’s voice, eyes widening as he locked eyes with the most attractive guy he’d ever seen. The stranger was laying in the water on his stomach with his chin propped up on his hands, seemingly undisturbed by the freezing temperature of the water as waves crashed up over the bare skin of his back and shoulders. Harry forced himself not to linger on the stranger’s shirtlessness, instead shifting his attention to the damp waves of thick (h/c) hair falling over captivating (e/c) eyes and the alluring smile he was being offered.

Harry swallowed sharply, suddenly struggling to remember how speaking worked, “You? You were the one who saved me?”

The (h/c) nodded, shoulders straightening proudly, “Yeah, I was swimming nearby and saw you fall off your ship.” He ducked his head, looking almost abashed, “My sisters told me that it was what you deserved, but I didn’t agree so I dove after you.”

“Your family wanted you to let me drown…?” Harry wasn’t exactly sure what sort of people would want to let someone drown, but he had the distinct impression that he probably wouldn’t like his savior’s family.

He shrugged, rolling over onto his back so he could look up at the sky, “Wouldn’t be the first time. It’s kind of what we do.” At the baffled look on Harry’s face, the (h/c) let out a huff. Harry watched as the stranger shifted his weight back onto his shoulders a little, using the new leverage to lift his legs out of the water.

Except it wasn’t legs that emerged from the frothing waves. No, instead, the (h/c) lifted a huge, gleaming caudal fin from its previous place hidden under the water, droplets and rivulets trailing down the length of the tail toward where it merged with his torso.

At first glance, Harry had assumed he was just one of the merpeople that lingered in Mermaid Lagoon, but he quickly noticed the distinctive differences. Merpeople had beautiful, elegant tails that came in a rainbow of shades more appropriate to showing off than for use in hunting. Sirens on the other hand? They were made to kill and one good look at the (h/c)’s tail had Harry convinced that he knew what he was dealing with.

His scales shone a brilliant emerald color and the myriad of colors that made up the caudal fin nearly camouflaged the set of poisonous spines hiding along the length of the fin. Harry knew, even without seeing it, that a similar set could be found along the shorter fin that trailed up the back of the tail.

After all, sirens were deadly even without their captivating songs.

Harry scrambled back at the sight, pushing himself further up the beach in an effort to get away from the creature.

The (h/c) let out a disappointed huff, letting his tail drop back against the water with a loud slapping sound. He dropped his head back against the sand, but Harry knew he was still under observation. “You realize that if I were going to make a meal of you, I would have done it by now, right? I had the perfect opportunity before. Y’know, when you were drowning?” He sighed as Harry made no move to relax, eventually pushing himself further into the water and slipping off below the waves.

Harry knew that even with the siren out of sight, it still posed a massive threat. He wasn’t sure exactly how long it would take for the crew to find him, if they ever did, so his first priority needed to be securing himself a shelter. He wasn’t sure how large the island really was, but he decided that he would rather make his camp near the beach than in the thick jungle that loomed beyond the welcoming white sands. He’d just have to make sure to take some precautions to ensure that his silver-tongued visitor would not be visiting unexpectedly.

---------------------

It took him several hours to set up a shelter that he deemed secure enough, and several more to find enough rocks to serve as a sort of barrier. He spent the rest of the day arranging the stones in rows three or four deep around the sea-facing edge of his camp, the most jagged edges facing the water. He knew that rocks alone would do little against a siren, but it made him feel better to think that if the creature wanted him dead enough to drag itself out of the water after him, it’d at least have to risk injuring itself.

-----------------------

When Harry awoke the next morning to find the siren lounging in the same spot as it had been yesterday glaring reproachfully at his meager stone barrier, he couldn’t help but feel a twinge of satisfaction.

The (h/c) turned to look at him as he emerged from his shelter, (e/c) eyes glinting oddly in the light. “What’s this for?”

“To keep you away from me,” Harry replied evenly, crossing his arms over his chest.

The siren rolled his eyes grumpily, dragging a claw-tipped finger along the edge of one of the rocks, “And here I was going to offer to take you back to the other humans once you were healed.”

Harry let out a bitter laugh, “And get back in the water with a siren? Not a chance.”

“Good luck meeting back up with your family then,” the siren retorted, pushing his wet hair out of his eyes. “There are not many boats that come this far. There are too many of us up here.”

Harry’s eyes widened; if the siren was telling the truth, then he really was on his own. There would be no chance of rescue if he was deep in siren territory. He swore at the realization, hands clenching into fists at his sides. “Why should I believe you?”

The (h/c) shrugged, pushing himself to sit up further to watch the waves come rolling in, “I have no reason to lie. Because of you, I have no family to go home to. No one to protect but myself.”

The brunet was confused. “Because of me? What did I do?”

“I saved you,” the (h/c) replied simply. “They saw that as a betrayal. Thought that I was putting a stranger above the wellbeing of the pod and decided to cast me out.” He smiled wryly, eyes fixed on the horizon, “I have no one but you now.”

The siren’s honesty had Harry feeling a little guilty about his earlier hostility. And the (h/c) had a point when he said that he could’ve just let him drown, but instead he’d tried to save him and he was offering to take him back to the ship as soon as he was better.

Harry took a deep breath as he made his way closer to the siren, kicking a few of the stones out of the way as he approached. The (h/c) looked stunned by his change in attitude, but he chose to remain silent even as the brunet sat down beside him. “My mom died when I was little,” he started slowly, azure eyes fixed far past the boy beside him. “She’d gone out on the ship with my dad and his crew and when they came back she was gone along with almost half of the crew.” The breath he took was shaky and Harry felt like he didn’t have nearly enough air in his lungs to continue, “My dad says it was sirens; they were lured off of the ship by their singing and drowned.”

The siren’s (e/c) eyes were wide as he looked back at Harry. “I’m sorry. I didn’t know.”

“You don’t need to be sorry,” Harry replied slowly, “I just wanted you to understand why it’s hard for me to trust you.”

“That makes sense,” his companion nodded, the end of his tail flicking and creating a mess of tiny waves that washed up over Harry’s feet and wet the ends of his pants. “You can call me (M/N), by the way.’

“The name’s Harry,” the brunet replied, watching the light dance off his new friend’s scales hypnotically. His lips quirked up as he realized that being trapped here with him until he had recovered may not be so bad after all.

#harry hook x male!reader #harry hook x male reader #harry hook x reader #male reader x harry hook #male!reader x harry hook #descendants x male reader #descendants x male!reader #descendants x reader #male reader #male!reader #male reader x #male!reader x #male reader insert #male!reader insert #Creature week 2020

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bakugoulvr420 · 3 years

Text

by your side

thank u for the request 🐸 anon!! i hope that i understood the prompt correctly and this lives up to your expectations!!

f!reader x bakugou

tw: mentions of domestic abuse

“what, another villain attack?!”

today was supposed to be just like any other day, but unfortunately some villains found a way to infiltrate UA’s shitty security system and had invaded the gym that your class happened to be training in.

“well isn’t it a surprise to be seeing the infamous UA students here?” an unfamiliar villain chimed and he pointed at you all.

“who the fuck is that…?” bakugou muttered, barely audibly.

it was visibly apparent that everybody was more confused than scared because seriously, who the hell were these unfamiliar faces?

the villain pack consisted of 5 people that looked ridiculous in their costumes, which didn’t really help their attempts to look intimidating.

“i suggest you trolls leave our campus right this second. i’ve already contacted the security department and they should be arriving any second now,” your teacher aizawa threatened as he activated his quirk and bundled up the guy that just spoke.

“h-heh, it seems like somebody is real scared!” another guy snickered as he let out a couple of giggles.

for some unlucky reason, you happened to be the closest to the villain pack, in fact, you were closer to them than you were closer to your classmates.

“y/n, come here fast!” kaminari whispered aggressively at your direction.

of course you wanted to run into bakugou’s arms but it felt like if you made any subtle movements, the villains could attack you any second. you weren’t scared but this particular villain made you feel uneasy. it didn’t help that he was glaring at you since the beginning with a nasty glare plastered on his face.

“if you move i’ll kill your parents!”

naturally your eyes widened. out of all the things he could’ve said, he chose to threaten your parents. everybody in your class knew that your parents had passed away a long time ago. they all knew that it was a touchy subject for you.

“the fuck did you say you gremlin?!” your boyfriend screeched as he began approaching the group of villains. bakugou wasn't mad about the fact that the villain threatened your parents, but because he was threatening you.

“bakugou, do not attack. this is an order,” aizawa quickly said. “we don’t know what their quirks are.”

you took this opportunity to run to bakugou but unfortunately you were caught by the same villain that threatened your parents. he had knocked you down and was on top of you now.

“what was that reaction?” his eyes widened as well as his smile.

"you fuckin-" bakugou immediately reacted and blasted himself towards your direction.

“come any closer and i’ll kill her,”

everybody tensed up. your classmates and aizawa looked visibly shaken. didn’t aizawa call for help earlier or was he just bluffing to win some time?

“if you lay one more finger on her, i swear to god that i will be killing you,” your boyfriend growled.

“yea mhm. we’ll see about that,”

without wasting a second, the villain must’ve either killed you or activated his quirk, because you suddenly found yourself in your old childhood room.

“where am i…?” you thought as you inspected your surroundings.

you were in the bed that you used for almost half of your life. feeling confused, you got up and walked towards the exit of your room.

“what are you doing?” a familiar voice cooed.

almost as if your body was programmed to react, you flinched and looked towards the direction of the voice. it was your mother. she was right outside your room, staring at you from the crook of the door.

“m-mom?” you stuttered as you instinctively walked backwards.

“i asked what you’re doing,” she repeated, this time sounding much more hostile.

“i.. i’m not..” you struggled to find your words.

what exactly was going on? was everything a dream? you entering UA, meeting your friends- meeting bakugou?

“y/n,” your mother sighed. “what did i tell you about trying to leave your room?”

her body was now fully in your room, directly staring you down from above. her hair was messy and her clothes filthy. what on earth was going on?

“hm?” she hummed as she smiled. “are you not gonna answer me?”

the moment you tried opening your mouth to speak, her hands had already landed on your face. she had struck you, hard. the pain was immense. you swore you felt like your cheeks were on fire. though, the numbness that followed indicated that your cheeks had gotten used to the hard impact.

“answer me!” she shrilled as she slapped you once more.

“please. please stop mommy,” you were crying. you now remembered the countless amount of times that your mother had hit you.

“mommy? don’t fucking call me that. you know how much trouble i go through because of you?”

your little body was on the floor, instinctively covering your head with your arms. tears rolled down your cheeks, your throat noticeably dry from probably crying a lot just a few hours ago.

“you’re the reason i’m like this. you’re the reason my life is a living hell!” your mother cried as she began digging her nails into your skin.

“please mommy, please. please stop,” you begged.

the feeling of her clawed nails on your back began to dissipate. maybe she had dug in too deep to the point of triggering a nerve which made your back go numb. you weren’t too sure but this familiar was very familiar to you.

“y/n?”

“y/n! wake up!”

"are you okay?"

a pair of voices called out your name. you didn’t know why but those voices were soothing and made your heart beat a little bit less intense.

“i’m here, PLEASE wake up!”

you lifted your head and opened your eyes slightly. suddenly the room was no longer dark and it was a different setting. you were at the UA training gym.

immediately you were embraced by a pair of warm arms that managed to calm you down almost immediately. you didn’t have to waste a second to identify whose arms these were.

“bakugou,” you began sobbing.

his arms wrapped you even tighter as he planted a kiss on your head. “it’s all okay now. the villains are gone,”

you weren’t too sure of what he was exactly talking about, but you wanted to continue hearing his voice. the familiarity of his scent and touch overwhelmed you with a wave of comfort.

“what happened…?”

your classmates had surrounded you. it was visible on their faces that they were all worried for you.

“yeah… you kept saying momm-“

“idiot!” kirishima silenced sero immediately, hoping that you didn’t hear that.

“everybody get the fuck out!” bakugou growled, still holding you in his arms.

despite aizawa also being worried for you, he understood that bakugou would be the best at comforting you. after all, your boyfriend was much more familiar with your history, though not completely.

even after everybody had left, none of you exchanged a word. it was almost as if his physical presence was enough to communicate meaningful words to you. bakugou only continued to gently pat your head and readjusted you so you’d be more comfortable.

“bakugou,” you started. “i don’t know-“

“you don’t have to say anything,” he cut you off.

you looked up at his face and saw that he was experiencing a bunch of feelings simultaneously.

“i’ll kill that bastard for you, i swear,”

you weren’t too sure if bakugou hadn’t heard you say what the rest of your classmates had heard, or if he was trying to help you not think about what had just happened. either way, bakugou didn't torment you with questions.

“no bakugou. i saw my mom,”

he didn’t looked surprised at all. afterall, he must’ve heard everything yet decided to wait for you to address it yourself.

“i was in my room. my childhood room. then my mom came out of nowhere and,” your voice cracked a bit. “she began hitting me,”

bakugou had a slight idea of what you had went through but he never knew that it was this graphic.

“you’re safe now, okay? it’s all in the past and she’s dead. i’m here to protect you too, you know?”

you nodded and let all your tears stream out, eventually getting absorbed by bakugou’s shirt. during the whole time you were crying, bakugou stayed by your side without saying anything. it’s not like he had to say anything either, just him being there, it was enough.

after this incident, nobody really approached you to ask you nothing more than if you were doing better now. nobody ever mentioned the thing with what you were crying about while being under the quirk’s influence but, you knew that your boyfriend had done something behind the scenes to handle the situation for you.

#bakugou #katsuki #bnha #kacchan #bakugou headcanons #bakugou x reader #bakugou x y/n #bnha x reader #katsuki x reader #bakugou fluff

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little-mad · 3 years

Text

Downsides of Thievery Pt. 8

~ Previous Part ~ Next Part ~

Maybe after all the shit Gavin had experienced ever since he’d been dragged from his prison cell back on Earth, he should have been used to giant related weirdness. He’d been held in a fist, toted around in a cage, and pinned down to the ground by a massive hand. In theory, riding around in Rael’s hand wasn’t that much stranger in comparison. And yet, Gavin felt unimaginably uncomfortable with his current position.

It wasn’t really that Gavin felt he was in any particular danger. Weirdly enough, he actually believed Rael’s claim that he would be careful. No, he wouldn’t say he was necessarily afraid. What he was feeling had more to do with the fact that he was almost surrounded on all sides by one single person. He was sitting on Rael’s palm, with the alteon’s chest behind him and his other hand directly in front of him. Not to mention the fact that the guy’s head loomed far above, able to look down at the person in his hand whenever he wanted. Long story short, Gavin felt smothered. And what was weirder than being smothered? Being smothered by the same person who had so far expressed nothing but distaste and disinterest in him since their first meeting.

“I guess it's an improvement from threatening to crush me,” Gavin thought to himself. He supposed this was preferable. The problem was, he didn’t know how to respond to this kind of behavior. Gavin was an expert at reacting to people not liking him much. Even if he knew Rael did like him, he might have some idea of what to do and what to say. However, Gavin couldn’t make heads or tails of how the big guy felt!

“Uh, I guess I should thank you for saving me,” Gavin finally said, breaking the silence that had developed ever since they’d departed from the stream. He fidgeted, trying not to think about the fact that the thing he was sitting on was literally alive. “Maybe this would seem less weird if I’d ever ridden a horse before…”

Rael didn’t take his eyes off the path in front of him aside from shooting a quick glance down at his passenger. “I was just doing my job,” he stated.

Maybe Gavin was getting ahead of himself thinking he’d made any progress with Rael. Maybe the guy really was just doing his job, and any increased kindness Gavin had detected was just an extension of his job.

As pathetic as it undoubtedly was, Gavin didn’t want to believe Rael really didn’t give a rat’s ass about him. He was completely alone in this dimension, cut off from anyone and everyone who had given at least half a shit about him. And so maybe Gavin was desperate to find someone he could imagine was on his side. He wanted a friend, and Rael was quite literally his only option. “God, I need to snap out of it! I’m supposed to be a hardened criminal damn it!”

Gavin craned his neck to look up at Rael’s face. “Well, I gotta admit, you were pretty badass back there.” It was very uncommon for Gavin to root for any type of law enforcement, for obvious reasons, but for once he was on the side of authority. How ironic was it that he, a thief who had been undone by his own greed, had almost been abducted in order to satisfy someone else’s greed? Fate really was a funny thing, huh?

A perplexed expression crossed over Rael’s face. “Badass? That’s intended as some form of compliment, correct?”

Gavin had to stifle a chuckle. He kind of forgot the alteon only had a very vague knowledge of human slang. He suddenly felt like he was holding a conversation with Spock, Rael even had the pointy ears to match. “Yeah...it sort of means you were impressively tough,” Gavin explained.

Rael gave a small nod of understanding. “I see, well...thank you I suppose.” The little note of awkwardness in his voice was enough to cause Gavin to break out in a grin. Rael sounded like a person and not some giant robot of formality and meanness.

Unwilling to let the break in Rael’s facade go to waste, Gavin initiated his mouth’s blab feature. “You know, next to that Kaydin guy, you’re like a saint,” he started, not even realizing he was now reclining back in Rael’s palm. “I’d pick hanging out with you over him anyday.”

With a light scoff, Rael rolled his eyes. “Being preferable over a brigand like that man is not as high of praise as you seem to think it is,” he said, though his tone was lacking in any real bite.

Gavin snickered. “I guess so, but to be fair I’ve only ever met three alteons.” None of them had made an especially great impression though, so he was beginning to think a part of alteon culture was just being naturally shitty at introductions. Of course, Gavin couldn’t really judge, he wouldn’t say he was all that great at first impression either.

“I’m surprised you weren’t more taken with the ruffians, considering you’re both criminals and all,” Rael replied, a nearly imperceptible smirk tugging at the corners of his mouth.

“Hey, not all criminals get along. That is a very common misconception,” Gavin stated matter-of-factly.

Rael snorted. Gavin was surprised someone like him could even make such a casual sound. “How very educational you are,” he said, sending another brief glance down at the human in his hands.

Gavin could hardly believe what was happening. He was actually taking part in back and forth banter with Rael, the guy who had seemed like an impenetrable stone wall of crankiness. If Gavin closed his eyes and ignored the feeling of flesh beneath him, he could almost imagine he was talking to a human and not an eighty foot colossus.

Rael had no idea what the hell he was doing. It was almost as if he’d been possessed or something, because he never would have imagined himself engaging in repartee with a human of all people. And yet somehow, it felt so natural and effortless. Rael would never consider himself a particularly talkative person, but with Gavin carrying the bulk of the conversation, it was easy to keep banter going.

Honestly, Rael wasn’t even sure what had triggered the change in his own behavior. Perhaps seeing the human’s life threatened by another alteon had had some kind of mirror effect. It was possible that witnessing the fear Kaydin inflicted upon Gavin had given Rael a new perspective on his own threatening behaviors.

Kaydin had obviously been the villain in the scenario. Did that mean Rael was the villain in his previous interactions with Gavin? He was a member of the Imperial Guard, he was supposed to be a hero--but it was becoming increasingly clear that he hadn’t been acting as such.

“I do not get paid enough to do this much self reflection on the job,” Rael thought sourly. This whole situation would be a lot simpler if he could just keep on ignoring Gavin and disregarding his feelings. It was a shame his conscience had gotten so loud all of a sudden.

“It is kind of flattering that I’m apparently so valuable that that guy was about ready to risk it all to get his hands on me,” Gavin said. Rael looked down to see a playful smirk on the little guy’s lips.

While Gavin had obviously been intending to be humorous, Rael couldn’t help but frown slightly. It was troubling how desperate Kaydin had been to get a hold of a human. What was even more troubling, was that Rael knew the desperation was sensible. Gavin would fetch a hefty sum on the black market, and Rael could only imagine the sort of things one might want to buy a human for. After the encounter with Kaydin and his partner, Rael wouldn’t be assured of Gavin’s safety until they were within the palace walls.

“You’re currently the only human in this realm, that makes you something of a rarity,” Rael told Gavin.

Most alteons had never seen a human in real life before, and unless things changed drastically, most never would. Typically, only those close to the Emperor were able to even catch a glimpse, hence why it was something of a status symbol. Of course, Rael had never really seen it that way himself.

“I guess I should feel honored,” Gavin quipped. “Although, the fact that I’m a prisoner kind of ruins things.” Rael fought the urge to twitch as he felt the human reposition himself on his palm. He still couldn’t believe such a tiny body could hold such a large personality.

“Perhaps crime doesn’t pay quite as much as you thought,” Rael retorted. He still found it stunning that the little guy he was currently holding in his hand had managed to rob an alteon.

Gavin scoffed. “Hey, it paid just fine until I took the diplomat job.” That caught Rael’s attention. He had been under the impression that Gavin had stolen the ring from the diplomat for himself, likely with the intention of selling it. However, the way Gavin had phrased it made it seem as though he had done it at someone else’s request.

“Wait, someone hired you to steal that ring?” Rael inquired, his gaze jumping back and forth from looking ahead and looking down at Gavin.

A dry laugh came from the human as he leaned back on his hands. “Like I ever would’ve thought of stealing from an alteon myself,” he said sarcastically. “Obviously someone hired me to do it.”

Rael’s eyebrows shot up. So Gavin had just been doing someone else’s dirty work? What he’d done had still been illegal, but still, wasn’t the one who had employed him the one truly in the wrong? “You took the fall for the one who hired you?”

Gavin gave a shrug. “Not exactly, but I didn’t know the real name of the guy who gave me the job, so there was no point even bothering to tell the cops.” He said it so nonchalantly. Did he not realize he might not be in the situation he was in, being escorted to the Emperor by an alteon, had his employer been identified and arrested?

“You don’t seem to care all that much,” Rael noted.

“I chose to take the job when I didn’t have to, blaming it on someone else isn’t gonna help anything,” Gavin replied. Rael was stunned by how...mature he was being. Initially, Gavin had struck him as nothing more than an honorless thief, devoid of any sense of responsibility. And yet here he was, accepting culpability for his own actions even when there was a perfect scapegoat right there for him to blame.

“Will wonders never cease,” Rael breathed.

“What?” Gavin called up. Rael had forgotten how sensitive to even the quietest noises human ears were.

“Nothing, don’t worry about it.”

#g/t #giant/tiny #g/t writing #my writing #oc: gavin stone #oc: rael #Rael not being a jerk? Who knew it could be possible

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ablackfangirlwrites · 3 years

Text

So the lovely @grown-clone gave me the brilliant idea/request to do a part two of my little time series with a happier ending so here we are! Enjoy😘

Y'all can fine the original post here- Hawks, eraserhead, dabi, All might

Prologe:

It had been five years since you died at the hands of the villian with the time quirk but when their time finally came something amazing happened everyone who met an early death because of them mercilessly came back to life! And the first thing you do when you get back is go to the person who made your life worth living.

Hawks

To say keigo missed you would be an understatement

Everyday since you died was bittersweet for him

He tried to honor your last wishes

He really did

To live his life for the both of you

To fall in love again

And for years he hated himself for not being able to do that

It was just no one could compare

It just wasnt the same and eventually every relationship he got in would just fall apart

And he hated himself even more for not being able to find the villain who did that to you

But one day something changed

He heard that the villain who did that had finally been identified and was now dead

He couldn't lie hearing that made him a little happy

Maybe your soul would find a little peace with that information

He could only hope

But something even more amazing happened a few days later

He had been hearing about this strange anomaly, some of the people who had been killed by the villain had been coming back to life

It was strange and no one really understood why

but no one was complaining it was a miracle after all

Yet he still had no reason for celebration not everyone had been reported being back and so far it looked like you were in those numbers

You were still dead despite the nagging he had in the back of his mind he knew you weren’t coming back

But that all changed

one day when he was in his agency when he heard some commotion out in the lobby

He wanted to ignore it but whatever was going on didn't seem like it was going to stop anytime soon

So he went out to intervene

But it was when he went out and he saw what had to be a ghost he froze

"Keigo..." you said once you saw him

"Sorry hawks this lady keeps saying that she knows you, she even has a feather of yours shes a crazy fan I think." One of his side kicks said

"Y/n?" Hawks said your name as he ignored his coworker

He was so confused "...this-this isnt real." He said walking closer to you, "Your dead."

"What kind of joke is this?"

But he looked over you, and you looked just like you did five years ago

You were even in the same clothes

But you shook your head tears in your eyes, "its not a joke."

You gave him a weak smile and lifted your hand to revile the feather he gave to you before you left all those years ago

"I don't know how...or why but its me..y/n im alive."

So many things ran through his head this should be impossible

You shouldn't be here

But it was you

In his soul he knew it was you

And before you could say anything else his lips were on yours

It was a kiss he didn't think he was ever going to experience again

Once he pulled away both of you had tears in your eyes

And hawks hugged you not wanting to let you go

Keigo notices the whole scene was being watched by everyone so hawks would take your hand

"Lets go into my office. You can tell me everything in there."

Hawks closed his door and sat down next to you

It was strange being next to you but he let you speck

"Keigo the last thing I remember- I was with you at the hotel...I left and went to this park...then next thing I know is I woke up in the same park but everything was different..."

"Y/n...its been five years..."

You looked at him, "five years...but how? I was dead."

You didnt know what to do with that info

"Keigo..." tears started to form in your eyes what where you supposed to even do now

"How am I alive? What-"

"Shhhs," keigo hugged you again, "all that matters is your with me again."

He held you as if you were going to disappear again and his mind was playing with him

But it wasn’t

Keigo didn’t waste leaving his office

He took you back to his place.

He didn’t know what to say to you exactly

because for you it had been only been one night, but for him you had been dead for five years

What should he even say?

You were the one who spoke up, “So a lot has had to chance in five years yeah?”

“Yeah, but you’re still so beautiful.”

You smiled, “Keigo.”

“I’ve missed you so much...I- I’ve been so lost with out you.”

You went to hold him and you heard him snort

“Technically we’re still married.”

“Wha-?”

“I never remarried-I’m sorry I-I tried to move on I did.” Keigo looked so sad despite you being there with him now

“I tried to do what you asked me too- I did live but It was never the same. And-"

"Keigo- its okay," you started to tell him

"Byt I am so happy that I didn’t.” keigo finished saying, "because your back."

You think about how much this might could take a toll on him

Keigo would kiss you again "I just can't believe your back. We got another chance."

You were crying again, "We did."

And for the first time in a long time keigo was hopeful for the future

#bnha imagines #bnha x reader #bnha headcanons #mha x reader #bnha hawks #mha hawks #bnha keigo #keigo takami x reader #my hero academia keigo takami #keigo x reader #keigo imagine #takami keigo #hawksbnha #hawks headcanon #hawks x reader #my hero academia hawks

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anfie-in-the-box · 3 years

Text

Dreamtale_Not_Found

Notes

Remember this thing I wrote out of the blue for Aftermare Week by @bluepalleteuniverse? Well, now the story truly begins!

Warnings: depression; a bit of manipulation, guilt-tripping, and an overall mean attitude of a random villager towards both Nightmare and Dream; not a panic attack, exactly, but definitely something similar.

Do tell me if there's anything I missed!

。。。

A negligible shift

Nightmare is done. He needs a change. Something. Anything. Please.

He sits between the roots of the Tree, hugging himself with both hands, chin on the knees. The position gets awkward, uncomfortable, but he doesn't have it in himself to move. He's drained.

He's fearful, uneasy with the deepest pain that never ends, but he's also empty. That's how it feels, at least. It's a void that nothing can fill, not even anxiety and doubts that have Nightmare in their cruel cold claws. The way misery blooms in the emptiness of his being is so alluring though, so mesmerising. Nightmare lets himself drown in the feeling. Nightmare never fights it, like he never fought the villagers, neither verbally nor physically. He's weak, isn't he?

But he isn’t evil. He's not. Can't be.

Right?

These thoughts break him more than any of the villagers ever could. Nightmare doesn’t know who he is anymore, and that makes it so much more frightening. He can't bear it. He's not brave, and he's not strong.

His hands are trembling. His whole body is trembling, Nightmare notices belatedly. His vision is blurred, too; he's crying again. He can't help it, useless even against his own tears.

Nightmare hugs himself tighter, so tight it almost hurts.

Can it be that the villagers are right? Were right all along?

No, no, no. Please, no. He doesn't want to be evil. He doesn't want to be a freak. It's supposed to count, right? He tries, he really does. It must count.

If only Nightmare could find a way to prove himself. Abruptly, he stops hugging himself, both hands limp by his sides. Does he even deserve this poor attempt of comfort? Is he really what the villagers say, a useless, stupid, good for nothing villain?

No!

The tears keep flowing down his cheekbones. He doesn't hiccup, doesn't sob, doesn't tremble anymore.

He's drained. Done.

He really, really needs to change something. Or something to change — and wouldn't that be perfect?

Too good to be true.

His fingers touch the grass beneath him, and the trunk of the Tree is solid as ever, always there to rely on.

Nightmare tilts his head back. Just then, he sees the apples. Black, but also some golden.

Maybe... Just maybe, but...

He'd need to stay alone for that though. Dream consistently declines any help requests from the villagers, seemingly determined to never leave, but he’s just too kind, there’s bound to be someone he can’t say no to. It’s a matter of time. And waiting is fine by Nightmare, now that he has a plan. He’s not wasting his time anymore; instead, he’s being patient, ready to take the first chance he gets. It’s a smart move. Besides, the reward will be worth it.

Tired, Nightmare wipes the tears with his sleeve and makes himself as comfortable as possible, resting beside the Tree’s rough trunk. If he’s lucky, he’ll even drowse and nap a little.

。。。

Ironically, an opportunity comes up later that day.

Nightmare doesn’t remember falling asleep, but he must have at some point since some noise wakes him up. When his head gets clearer, Nightmare realises it’s two voices, one his brother’s and the other only distantly familiar. A villager, then.

“Please, don’t talk so loudly,” Dream pleads in a small voice. “Nightmare is sleeping.”

How Dream always manages to be so caring and gentle is beyond Nightmare’s understanding. His little brother doesn’t deserve all that. Luckily, Nightmare knows what to do. Currently, he just has to keep listening intently, and it’ll be better if they think he’s still asleep. So no movement or sound. Nightmare’s good at that, he likes to think.

“Of course that useless garbage is sleeping in the middle of the day. But who cares!” the villager says, clearly irritated. They do lower their voice, though, if only to please Dream a little. “We need your help, and you can’t sit this one out!”

Dream sounds tired and somewhat hurt when he replies, “I’m so sorry if my brother upset you, but please, don’t talk about him that way.” Only when the villager mutters a “Yeah, whatever” that Nightmare barely hears from his position on the other side of the Tree, Dream continues. “Can you tell me what’s so important you think I need to leave the Tree?”

“Took you long enough to ask! Some guardian you are!” the villager huffs. “Just so you know, Ava is so sick she’s dying, it’s getting worse, and we’ve tried everything, but nothing helps! There’s no cure but the golden apples. It’s our last hope.” They insist, not giving Dream a moment to hesitate, “Come on! Do you really want us to lose Ava just because you decided to be stubborn?”

Nightmare tenses. He knows exactly how much of a bleeding heart his brother is. No chance he’s turning this one down; not when it’s a matter of life and death. He’s coming to the aid if only this one time. Meanwhile, Nightmare can set his plan in motion — prove himself worthy and good. Everything’s going to be fine. Everything’s going to get better. Finally.

Despite himself, Nightmare smiles. However, he keeps his sockets shut, just in case Dream decides to check on him before going to the village. He will go, without a doubt.

And indeed, Dream gasps, terrified, “Oh my gosh! I’m so sorry to hear it! Of course, I’ll help poor Ava!” Then, there are steps and rustling, quiet huffs, and at last, this specific sound of a fruit being picked from the Tree. Nightmare knows that sound, although he’s never done it himself. Nobody asked for a black apple, after all. Nobody wanted it.

Nobody wanted him.

But now, that’s alright. He’ll just show everyone that he can take care of the golden apples, too. Everyone loves them, and they will love him as well. It’s so easy, Nightmare just cannot fathom how he hadn’t come up with it before.

For a few seconds, there’s a pause.

“What are you waiting for? You got the apple, now let’s go!” the villager hurries. Suddenly, the steps sound much closer to Nightmare, and he’s been ready for that, it’s exactly the reason why he never opened his eyes, then why does he jerk?

Luckily, it doesn’t give his act away. Dream sighs and whispers, ever so softly, “I’ll be right back, brother. Sleep tight.” He goes away and says a bit louder, worry evident in his voice, “Let’s go. I really hope we’ll arrive in time...”

If the villager replies, Nightmare doesn’t hear it. He counts to a hundred five times, just to be sure, and gets up only after that.

This is his chance to make the tables turn.

。。。

For a minute, he simply stands there, looking at the Tree, his chest heavy with anticipation. His gaze is fixed on a single golden apple, the nearest to him. The one he’s going to pick and keep from harm all by himself.

While Nightmare stares at the apple, a strange feeling arises in his entire being. It’s light and unobtrusive, but also comprehensive. He’d try to identify it if he had more time, he thinks. As it is, he can’t quite put a finger on it right away and so just lets it be.

It’s getting late, Nightmare notices. The sky darkens steadily, the sun already gone. Pinks and purples linger on the horizon, and for the first time in a while, Nightmare finds himself appreciating the view. It’s been so long since he last enjoyed... anything, really. Everything except for misery and pain has become dull, faded. Being able to drink in the sight now, suddenly thrilled by that fleeting moment between day and night, relishing in the cool breeze...

Nightmare forces himself to look away. He has a plan to execute, and Dream might come back any minute. His brother is nice, but... he doesn’t understand. He wouldn’t even if Nightmare explained. So he has to do this alone.

Not like it’s the first time anyway.

Deepest sadness and utter hopelessness creep back into Nightmare’s mind and heart, but before they take hold of him, little guardian decisively comes closer to the Tree and reaches for a golden apple, the one he’d chosen before.

A moment stretches to what seems a tiny eternity. That’s what it feels like to Nightmare, who freezes, terrified. His hand trembles. The apple is so close, one slight movement and he’ll have it, feel its surface. Is it warm or cool? Nightmare wonders, distantly. Is it soft or hard?

After a long, long pause — one that lasts barely a minute, Nightmare’s mind knows, but his heart doesn’t believe it, — his hand withdraws. He holds it with his other hand against his chest, aching all of a sudden.

What’s wrong with him? Why can’t he do this? He’s a guardian just like Dream, who’s done this plenty of times! It’s so simple! It should be simple.

But his body refuses to cooperate. He’s shuddering, so anxious and afraid it’s suffocating. No wonder his chest hurts.

Tears prick the corners of Nightmare’s sockets.

Come on! Why can’t he move? Just why?

It’s not fair. This might be his only chance. Dream made an exception today, sure, but it’s not every day someone is on the verge of dying. He’s going to come back, and stay beside the Tree like a good guardian he is, and nothing’s going to change.

Filled with despair and fear, Nightmare tries one last time, putting all effort he can into stretching out his hand.

It doesn’t work. His body doesn’t work, not properly, anyway.

What’s even happening?

Just then, Nightmare hears familiar footsteps from behind. The sound makes something in him snap. The pain in his chest, the tension in his body, the feelings in his heart, and the thoughts in his mind — everything dissipates, leaving him tired and empty.

And — oh.

Nightmare sees now. That light feeling was hope. And it’s gone.

“Nightmare!” Dream calls out, not quite close yet but already explaining himself. “Sorry I left when you were sleeping, I hope you weren’t too worried when you woke up all alone... I didn’t mean to take so long or to take any time at all, but it was urgent and you don’t sleep much, so I...”

Utterly exhausted, Nightmare shrugs his brother off with a quiet “It’s fine” and, when Dream abruptly stops talking, goes away to the other side of the Tree.

Leave it up to him to not do a single thing right.

Of course, it’s all in vain. Pointless and futile.

He’ll just sleep.

。。。

Only that night, Nightmare tosses and turns restlessly.

As energy beings, they don’t exactly need sleep, so for Nightmare, it’s more of a way to escape than anything. Being awake means thinking and feeling, while sleep, although it seems to last just for a moment without dreams Nightmare’s only read about, gifts him a blessing of unconsciousness. When he sleeps, it’s almost like time and space cease to exist.

Almost like he ceases to exist.

It’s sweet and alluring. It’s also terrifying.

But none of this matters anymore, because, after that incident, even light sleep just won’t come. It’s called insomnia, Nightmare thinks.

Something did change after all. For the worse, that is.

It really could have been funny, but after a week of long, long days and nights Nightmare’s forced to spend wallowing in his misery, he can’t find it in himself to laugh.

Tired.

He’s so very tired.

。。。

Credits:

Undertale © Toby Fox

Dreamtale © jokublog

Read English version on ao3

Read Russian version on ficbook or fanficus (to be added)

。。。

Notes

This story is canon compliant, which means Nightmare is six years old at the moment of the (absence of the) Apple incident. But because he never got corrupted, he has a chance to grow up, and that he will do. His meeting with Geno will happen years later, when Nightmare is an adult.

It will become obvious as the story progresses, but I felt the need to clarify right now. Maybe I'll remove this part of the notes later.

Also, since we don't know about Dreamtale as much as I'd like, I'm trying to fill in the gaps. All places and characters mentioned are my version of Dreamtale, except for Dream, Nightmare, Nim/the Tree of Feelings, and Neil. That makes Ava just a random name to make the dialogue feel personal.

Feel free to let me know what you think if you'd like!

。。。

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#anfie writes #dreamtale not found fic #nightmare!sans #passive nightmare sans #dream!sans #dreamtale #undertale #utmv #aftermare #I can't believe I forgot the ship tag (x

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bagadew · 3 years

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The Great Ace Attorney Playthrough: The Case of the Unbreakable Speckled Band (Part 3b)

Last Time: After being discovered in Miss Pavlova’s cabin, things didn’t go as badly for us as we thought they would. In fact we got to dance around with Herlock Sholmes the Himbo Detective and discovered that Susato (and presumably someone at Capcom) really knows a lot about snakes, Nikolina has a pet kitten called Darka, and Kazuma apparently died by tripping over said kitten in a tragic accident. However, while it would probably be the best explanation for everyone involved, I’m not entirely sure it’s true as it still doesn’t explain the fact the crime scene was clearly tampered with.

Well it seems that, like me, Susato’s not entirely convinced Nikolina’s telling us the truth.

In fact, it looks like she’s sure of it.

You know, I didn’t expect to feel conflicted about finding Kazuma’s killer, but I kind of do...

Like, I came into this fully expecting to feel hatred and anger towards whoever did this. I was expecting to confront some hateful villain on a par with Miss Brett or Manfred Von Karma and to take satisfaction and vengeance in taking them down... but this isn’t that. There’s no conspiracy, no big untouchable threat, there’s just an abused and scared little girl who probably killed Kazuma because she thought he was going to kill her.

I don’t expect to feel good about taking Nikolina down. I think it’ll feel like when we had to go for Adrian Andrews... only this time she’s actually guilty.

I don’t have anything to add to Susato’s speech, other than it feels important to put it up, and it seems like a good show of who Susato is as a person.

You know, I’ve had a little difficulty pinning Susato down until now, but I think I’ve finally got her. Susato Mikotoba is a woman who believes in truth and justice, and will go to great lengths to reveal it... even if it hurts far more than the lie ever did.

Herlock’s been quiet for a while now, and I don’t think he’s still reeling from the snake business. It’s difficult to read his expression with his hat like that, so I can’t tell if he’s running through the crime scene in his mind, or if Susato’s words have struck a cord with him.

Wait WHAT?

Ah, ok. Herlock basically been using this whole thing as a distraction, and was planning to give everything over to Scotland Yard once we arrived home so they could deal with any ‘outstanding issues’.

(Also he’s handcuffed us again)

It hadn’t quite clicked before, but no one’s actually considered what Ryunosuke must be feeling. His best friend has just been murdered, and all almost everyone has done, has been to accuse him of killing him. Even among Hosonaga, and later Susato, Ryunosuke hasn’t got to really talk about his feelings, and I’m not sure if anyone’s actually given him the opportunity to do so.

With the next stop looming ever closer, I know we don’t exactly have the time to talk right now, but I hope Ryunosuke gets the chance once this is all done.

Ok, let’s do this.

Let’s run through what we know doesn’t fit so far:

1) The writing in Russian: not only is it in the wrong language but Kazuma died instantly, meaning that there’s next to no way he wrote this himself, and absolutely no way he did it if he died tripping over a kitten.

2) The ships log has been left blank from after 2am, meaning that who ever was probably in on it.

3) Half of Darka’s bell somehow found it’s way in Nikolina’s bin, meaning someone must have taken it from the crime scene.

4) If someone went into the cabin (which they must have done) they have to have pressed the emergence alarm after they left.

Let’s start with the biggest contradiction shall we? The photographic print.

Oh Nikolina, that’s not the issue here.

Ryunosuke’s got it.

Well done Ryunosuke.

I’m trying to work out what this could be. The bell half perhaps? But that’s something that was taken away surely.

Ok, so just something that proves it wasn’t an accident. Well I’m not too sure if it’s what I’m supposed to be looking for here, but I’ll present the mark on the floor and see what happens.

Oh thank god!

Well, not exactly Hosonaga, while it’s true that the tripped kitten explanation does explain how the bell was broken, it doesn’t explain why half of it made its way out of Kazuma’s room and into Nikolina’s bin.

Exactly Ryunosuke!

So, now that we’ve successfully proved someone was at the crime scene, let’s start working out who could have done it.

(TBH I still think that, while Nikolina killed Kazuma, Stroganoff was the person who tampered with the crime scene. The writing just feels a bit too calculated to be Nikolina, especially if she killed Kazuma out of fear.)

Ah, I was wondering when you’d have enough Stroganoff.

He’s basically saying that we already know I (Ryunosuke) was in the room, and that if what I’m saying is true then it has to be me as the door was bolted from the inside.

However, as I (both Ryunosuke and me) have zero knowledge of Russian, it’s impossible for me to have written the message. What we do have however, is knowledge as to how the door was bolted from the outside, which we must be getting close to revealing.

That’s... a really good question actually. Why didn’t they just take the whole thing?

Ah, I see. I was looking at this from the eyes of someone from the modern era of electric lights, rather than with the eyes of someone who lives with jolly old Victorian lighting. The floor wasn’t visible enough to make out half of a cats bell.

Shit... she’s their kid...

You know, while we still don’t know exactly how Nikolina came onboard this ship, I’d kind of assumed that the sailors (or perhaps someone affiliated with them) had found her trying to stow away or hiding down by the docks, and taken pity on her and decided to help her out. Because, I thought, there was no way Nikolina would reach out to strangers for help, given how scared she is. But the answer is that they weren’t strangers. They were family.

That’s why they’ve all been ready to risk everything without hesitation, even if it means covering up a murder. She’s their kid, and I’m about to make them watch it all be for nothing.

Yeah, Ryunosuke... it is...

(I love the way these spirits combine together. Nikolina looks even smaller and younger next to Stroganoff, and her hiding behind him while his fighting stance partly shields her does a good job of showing how things are for them right now. It makes me think of images of cornered animals protecting their young.)

Because he’s lying, but then I think you’ve already figured that out.

My time has come.

Susato, it’s ok. I’ve got this, you don’t need to make us look bad by suggesting things you know aren’t true.

DON’T PASS THE BUCK TO ME!!!

(Again, me an Rynosuke operate on the same wavelength now)

OH MY GOD, THE HIMBO DETECTIVE MADE A PROPER DEDICATION ALL ON HIS OWN!!!

HELL YEAH I DO!!!

Look at him go! He’s even using Susato’s fancy words to explain it!

And there goes the bolt on the door!

Now we’re explaining that the emergency stop button can be pressed at various different points around the ship, including, crucially, just outside these two cabins.

Oh Susato, you know as well as I do that this whole things had Herlock’s fingerprints all over it.

(Important information, along with not being trusted with a pet, do not trust Herlock Sholmes with any machinery or control panels)

To be honest this is the appropriate reaction. We’re at sea Herlock! Don’t mess with the thing that stands between us and drowning!

Herlock ‘But Did You Die’ Sholmes: Now lets not lose sight of the fact I got us evidence.

And the worst part is that he’s right.

Not if you drugged everyone!

I think it’s finally time to bring up the blank ships log.

Ok team, Herlock’s in charge of our excuses from now on!

We’re going through the fact that the log was blank, which with Stroganoff’s meticulous ritual of writing: Nothing to Report, every half hour on the dot, means that there definitely was something to report.

We sure are suggesting that Susato!

Not if you were drugged Hosonaga!

HE MADE ANOTHER PROPER DEDUCTION!!! I’M SO PROUD!!!

Ok, have the drugs finally worn off on Herlock’s brain, because he’s saying really smart things now. Or is it just that he’s taking things seriously rather than using this whole thing as a distraction?

Susato’s got it too!

So, because it’s such a large scale job, it couldn’t have been pulled off by any one person, meaning that the entire crew must have been in on it.

(Poor drugged Hosonaga, they really identified you weren’t one of them the second you set foot on this ship didn’t they?)

Now see, the problem with this strategy, is that while Bif might not be happy about the rest of his crew getting into trouble, I feel like this is a Murder on the Orient Express scenario, in the sense that everyone involved fully acknowledge the risks and came into this prepared to go down if necessary.

Yeah, he’s not happy, but he’s not cracking.

In fact, I’m not sure anything could cause him to crack. He is the one person’s standing between Nikolina and (potentially) death. I can’t see any way he’s going to back down.

I understand now, Herlock wasn’t aiming for him. Because they’re Nikolina’s family too.

It seems to be just like we suspected. Nikolina asked them to help her escape, and so, as one, the crew agreed to help her. They put sleeping drugs in the chicken so no one would notice what was happening, and got one of their comrades on the shore of Shanghai to take her to the ship at midnight.

Here’s the problem we have now though. Now she’s covering for them. Even if I’m wrong about Stroganoff or another member of the crew writing the message, the ships log means that they either knew or found out, and I can’t imagine they would have sat by and done nothing.

Wait a second though. We met Nikolina in her cabin, which means she must have got back inside some way or another. She couldn’t have done that if she was the one who pressed the alarm. I think this could be a way to establish someone must have helped her.

They’re still fighting, and to be honest I didn’t expect anything else. They’re both protecting each other now and it’s going to take nothing but evidence to make them budge.

I’m going to be perfectly honest Herlock, you’ve kind of lost me.

In fact I think you’ve lost most of the room...

ITS TIME FOR DANCE OF DEDUCTION 3: I WAS HOPPING I’D HAVE UNTIL THE NEXT CASE TO THINK UP A NAME!

Ryunosuke, don’t play dumb. We must dance!

(Or observe, that’s good too)

Right, well we’ve worked out Stroganoff was the one who did the fabrication, so we should probably focus on him first.

Got you.

To be honest I’m at a loss as to how he got some of the ink round there. Perhaps he knocked the ink over when he was sorting the crime scene out.

Or perhaps it was on his finger and he accidentally rubbed it over when he held his hands like this?

... I thought so...

So, just after one in the morning, Bif was patrolling the corridor when a scared an pail Nikolina came up to him desperate for help. He followed her to Kazuma’s cabin and found him on the floor. Apparently the event before went on like Nikolina said, only instead of luring Darka through the vent, she went next door because she was worried about the sounds she’d heard through the vent.

... he’s still shielding her isn’t he?

I think Susato knows it too.

The problem is, that Nikolina’s following Bif’s lead. Perhaps if we had the chance to talk to her alone we’d know we were getting the truth, but not with Bif there. And to be honest I’m not sure I can really blame either of them for that.

I’m not 100% sure to be honest. And I don’t think I will be until this case is closed.

I’ll take that as not being done then.

I have no idea...

(His fist was closed, could that be the issue?)

(Thank you god of video games!)

OPEN WITH THAT NEXT TIME HERLOCK!

Yeah, we’re not going to be able to guess!

Nikolina’s earring!

Which he couldn’t have had if he was dead when she came in!

(Stroganoff’s face seems to suggest that we’ve reached the final curtain.)

I don’t think either of them can explain away this.

(Again, lead with the earring next time Herlock)

Things are in the right order now.

He let her in. He thought she was Hosonaga so he let her in.

It’s all going fine right now, but we know how this ends.

Of course he did, just by looking at Nikolina you can see she’s been through a lot, and besides, Kazuma has a secret all of his own.

Here we go. Whatever it might be, the thing that triggered Nikolina’s survival instinct is coming.

Ah shit...

You know, since the moment Darka disappeared through that vent, I’m not sure things were ever going to end differently. Kazuma was always going to open the door, he was always going to help the frightened girl he found there, and being the incredibly quick man that he was, he was always going to recognize her.

And Kazuma was always going to want to look into the situation, and that was always going to tip Nikolina into a panic. And then sooner or later she was going to lash out in what seemed to her to be necessary self defence.

Here it is.

Oh!?

So this wasn’t the trigger. But then what was?

Oh no. He was going to get Ryunosuke from the wardrobe. The wardrobe Nikolina couldn’t possibly grasp the significance of, but that was right next to the bell cord.

(Also didn’t I say the captain was somehow to blame?)

(What do you guys say we chalk it up to him and put this whole business behind us?)

(And yes I do know that I’m stalling again)

... in a panic you struck out... and he stumbled... and hit his head on the way down...

I see, so Darka put him off balance first. And so when you pushed him he he hit his head on the bedpost.

Fear, adrenaline, and a lack of judgment due to stress and trauma. Perhaps if this had happened on any day other than the one where you’d just fled things would have been different, but maybe not. It’s hard to tell.

And we know the rest...

Stroganoff cleared away as much of Nikolina’s presence as he could find, and in doing so found Ryunosuke asleep in the wardrobe. It must have seemed like fate was giving him a stranger who could take the fall instead of his kid.

So Nikolina was the one who ‘cleared away’ the bell. That explain why some of it was left behind, and why it ended up in her bin. Stroganoff would probably have thrown it overboard.

What’s that?

I see, that’s a good question.

What he said about the inspector...

Oh dear.

Hosonaga, you were literally drugged at the time, and I’m still pretty sure you were set up to fail (which does raise the question of what would have happened to Kazuma if Nikolina hadn’t killed him)

Susato?

I see, she’s realized that he was going for Ryunosuke, thus slotting the final piece of this whole tragedy neatly into place.

(These two cases are really going all out in very different ways. The next one better let me relax and have fun Maskqu de Masque style. I’m not sure I can take much more of this.)

Here it comes, the unnecessariness of the whole murder.

Yeah...

:((

Ryunosuke’s best friend has been murdered because of the misunderstandings of a child, and he’s been raked over the coals because of that. While it might not be the kindest thing to say for Nikolina, it’s an important thing to say for Ryunosuke, and I feel he’s justified in saying it.

In fact it would probably be a bad sign if he didn’t say this. He’s as much of a victim in this whole affair as anyone. I’m glad he’s at least getting an apology from Nikolina, even though it’s unfortunately gone past the point where that would be useful.

It’s finally over, and just as I predicted it doesn’t feel good.

HOSONAGA SATURO YOU HEAL LIKE A CHAMP!

‘It’s just a scratch’, you said.

‘Go to a hospital’, we cried.

‘No need, just give me a few hours to click my face back into position and pass me back my glasses lenses and I’ll be fine’

Hosonaga, you are unkillable and this is exactly why you’re superiors had to resort to shipping you out.

Ok, enough fun declaring Hosonaga to be our new god. Let’s go back to the serious and depressing business of Nikolina.

So, it seems like Nikolina will be handed over to Scotland Yard, and Herlock will sort things out with the immigrations office so she doesn’t have to go back to Russia.

Also the way they’re talking about her future means that she’s not going to be executed (thank god), which makes sense given that she committed manslaughter rather than murder. Whether or not she goes to prison will probably depend on the judge as, while she has the fact that she’s a white female child, she is also not English and speaks with a strong accent, and therefore, is going to be subjected to a lot of Xenophobia.

Hm?

Ah.

Again, I’m glad Ryunosuke’s getting these apologies.

Wait, are you sure Stroganoff? Like yeah, you’re not going to get done for murder, and the whole defending a kid thing will play of pretty well in court (plus the man you accused wasn’t English and has a less white skin tone than you). But you are also a Russian man with a strong accent and you won’t be able to fall back on being a child or let the evils of sexism and xenophobia fight each other.

Well at least we’re free again, even if we’re in a worst place than when we started.

You know he will Ryunosuke. And given how well he was defending her till now, I think he might just succeed.

But we have to get to England to make Kazuma’s dream come true!

Herlock, can you come to us again in our hour of need? I know we have a lot of them but...

(I swear to god this game is shooting for my jugular)

We’re holding Kazuma’s sword, aka, his spirit. Please don’t make me let it go game.

Is it too much to ask for them to hug? I think they both need it.

Hold us Hosonaga.

(Though not me (Eleanor). Instinct tells me we must remain two meters apart so our weird lungs don’t accidentally take each other out.)

(I cannot be the person who killed Hosonaga)

(And yes I am trying to lighten the mood with my talk of genetic lung conditions because I’m aware it’s only going to get sadder)

(Told you)

There was nothing you could have done Hosonaga, and it’s become my own private mission now to find a way to prove that to you.

:(((

Game are we going to have to sail to England on Hosonaga’s guilt?

I’m aware that you’ve got a whole fun game lined up over there, but is this really the only way?

Can’t we just go to Japanfornia instead, track down Amy Fey (if she’s even been born yet) and get Kazuma back on our team?

No... ok...

Exactly!

WHAT! WHY AM I BACK IN HANDCUFFS!??

HERLOCK SHOLMES COME OUT HERE RIGHT NOW, THIS IS ONLY A LITTLE BIT FUNNY!

He’s amusing himself at least...

(You know what, I’ve decided right now that this is a family friendly blog, so no, I’m not going to say what I’m thinking. You can’t make me.)

Also read the room Herlock, the three of us were having a moment!

Nice save.

Ryunosuke’s trying to throw himself under the buss and send Susato and Herlock and Hosonaga off to go live out the rest of the game without him.

Sorry Ryunosuke, but you’re the protagonist. We can’t leave without you.

That’s it! Ryunosuke, you’re naturally good at lawyering! It’s time for you to take up Kazuma’s mantle!

Am I chopped liver to you Susato?

Are we doing a studying montage on the ship over?

Yes Ryunosuke!

Training montage Hosonaga!

You can help! Teach me how to be the crime scene thief and not give a damn!

(Actually on second thoughts, maybe you should sit this one out and offer moral support instead)

Said Hosonaga, knowing that I wasn’t.

(*Eye of the tiger starts to play*)

I CAN LEARN ENOUGH TO WING IT HOSONAGA!

HELL YEAH!!!

Oh good, I’d forgotten about Kazuma’s morally ambiguities loose end.

(Probably because every character I fancy has one of them and it’s no longer anything to write home about.)

Let’s do this Susato, me an you all the way!

Hosonaga? You cool too?

Wait, now is not the time to be sensible Hosonaga! Remember when we got Miss Brett? That was against protocol and it meant we got to see her take off via her big hat! (Although we didn’t get justice and it ended with you being shipped out, but let’s not dwell on that.)

Hosonaga normally (while shovelling three tables worth of crockery into his bag): Nothing will get in my way! I’ll lay my life on the line if I have to! I will strait up ignore the rules if I think they are unjust!

Hosonaga when Herlock is present: I have never broken a rule in my life, nor would I ever do so. I am the most sensible and down to earth man you will ever meet, please ignore the way I am dressed right now.

What happened Hosonaga, did you watch me and Herlock doing our dance of deduction and immediately decided someone had to be the adult and it might as well be you?

Or... did watching Herlock roll around on the floor and cling like a limpet to the walls make you wonder that this is how you come across?

Because to be honest you were loudly declaring yourself the Crime Scene Thief just last trial... so I don’t think you’ll ever be able to create too much contrast in our eyes.

Come on Crime Scene Thief!

Herlock’s aiming right for Hosonaga’s canonically shit schooling with those words.

Remember who you are Hosnaga! You’re the badass who lay his life on the line for us!

(I like how much Herlock’s talking Ryunoskue up, I guess this makes up for the fact he handcuffed us again for the asthenic)

Hooray!!! Hosonaga’s taking us to Disneyland England!

“Hello, this is Saturo Hosanaga. Just calling to say that I’ve done it again... yes I understand that my breaking the rules makes you sad, but I simply will not stop... well you see, they’re unfair and heavily biased in your favour. Also we both know if you could have stopped me you would have done so long ago. Goodbye.”