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sweet-as-an-angel · 11 months

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Miguel w/an Innocent S/O

Warnings: Protective Miguel, Slight Yandere Miguel (if you squint), Implications of Smut, Fluff, More Fluff, Spooning, Mentions/Implications of injuries, Insecurity, No Pronouns used for Reader Except 'You'.

Him being fiercely protective of you 24/7.

If someone even so much as looks at you wrong, he stares them down until they either break down and start apologising, or their heart gives out.

You’re the only person he shows any affection to. You’re also the only person allowed to touch him. Period.

He’s so touch starved; please hold him and tell him he’s your big guy :-(

Goes FERAL when you rake your fingers through his hair; his eyes roll into his skull and he can’t help but moan a little, even if the context isn’t sexual.

Don’t bring it up or he’ll punish you for it later 👀.

He finds your innocence both endearing and worrying.

On one hand, you believe in the good of everyone, which, considering how insecure Miguel can be, is what initially drew him to you; your ability to empathise and sympathise with others, to not judge them.

However, he knows people would take advantage of your kind and giving nature.

One time, he found out that one of the Spiders – a Victorian England era ‘gentleman superhero’ – had tossed you a used coffee cup and told you to dispose of it on his behalf. When you tried to say something, to tell him you were busy and had better things to do, he just dismissed you.

Of course, Miguel had seen this. He has eyes on you every second of the day.

You never saw that Spiderman again. Nor did anyone else. All that seemed to remain of him was his suit thrown haphazardly into the storage room, where a great big tear edged with blood was ripped into the chestpiece, the hero’s signature top hat abandoned and crumpled beneath it.

He also broke another Spider-Person’s arm when they tried to steal one of the fairy cakes you’d lovingly baked for him; poured your heart and soul into.

Miguel also growls at people he thinks are looking at you strangely. Full-on bares his fangs like a rabid dog and watches them cower.

He purposely grows his fangs out and lets you play with them.

He’s careful to make sure you don’t get hurt, though, guiding your hands away from the pointed tips.

His guilty pleasure is when you kiss his fangs and tell him he’s “The coolest, most handsome man in the world!”

“Just the world?” He says, smiling, raising an eyebrow. His heart melts in his chest as your smile widens, eclipsing your eyes into crescents.

“In ALL the worlds!” You say, throwing your arms around his neck and hugging him, laughing. He brings his arms, thick and muscular, around your waist and pulls you into him, pressing ticklish kisses into your neck, revelling in your laughter.

Intimacy-wise, Miguel is horrified at the prospect of hurting you.

He’s ever so careful, as if handling glass, holding back his strength.

It’s worth it, though. The strain.

Especially when he hears you mewl and try to hide your face in his chest.

“Oh no, Sweetheart,” he says, tangling a hand in your hair and pulling your head back. His pointed fangs flint as he gives a smile. “I want to watch you like this.”

Loves your gentle kisses – they give him life.

Nothing can get him down when you’re around; especially when you’re sitting in his lap.

Though, issues have arisen as a result of your oblivion to…compromising positions.

More often than not, Miguel’s had to bite his lip and tongue when you shift in his lap, catching him, making his heart start and his breath shutter, electric anticipation jolting through him.

He takes you aside in the bathroom to deal with the issue you’ve unknowingly caused, but you don’t complain. Not that you can with your mouth full.

He looks at you with eyes which have seen the deaths of countless individuals, yet when he finds yours, he sees love and light spanning infinite universes within them. And they give him hope that there is more to life than loss and grief; more to him than his failures.

He revels in the feeling of you hiding behind him whenever you’re scared.

Sometimes he takes you to areas of the facility where he knows you’ll be easily frightened – for example, where captive villains are held – so he can feel your hands tightening around his arm or gripping the back of his suit. It makes him feel useful, like he can take on the world.

And he gets off on being the only person who can truly protect you. But he’d never tell you that, of course.

Loves demonstrating his strength around you. He can pick you up single-handedly and carry you anywhere without so much as thinking of breaking a sweat.

He prefers to be the big spoon, curling around you like a shield and protecting you from the outside world, his warm, broad chest to your back.

Tells you how much he loves you through hushed post-intimacy whispers and soft touches. Shows it through acts of service and the insurmountable adoration that fills his eyes whenever you’re around.

He can’t imagine being with anybody else. He can’t even remember the last time he felt anything save for contempt before you showed up.

And he’ll do whatever it takes to protect you. No cost is too great for the love of his life <3.

Reblog for more content like this! It helps creators like myself tremendously and it is greatly appreciated :-)

Masterlist Masterpost

Yandere Masterlist Juicy Original Content <3

#across the spiderverse #miguel o'hara #miguel o hara #miguel o'hara x reader #miguel o'hara x you #miguel o'hara x y/n #miguel ohara x reader #miguel ohara #miguel ohara x you #miguel ohara x y/n #yandere miguel ohara #spiderman astv #spiderman #spiderman 2099 #spider verse #into the spider verse #spiderman 2099 x reader #spiderman 2099 x you #spiderman x reader

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chalk-homunculus · 1 year

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The system's little sister got our number (finally? For whatever reason she didn't have it before) from our father and has been texting us every day since. It never fails to brighten our day. She's 10 years old and it's so heartwarming for us, I specifically would be ready to destroy not only mondstadt, but the entire Teyvat to protect her. I'm not exaggerating.

#she is so precious and reminds me of Klee in some ways #she thinks we're the coolest older sibling ever and sends us random pictures of their dog and her fnaf figurines #our system has always been rather protective of people close to us and generally we have this strange complex of #almost acting as a human shield at times. maybe a form of trying to shoulder other people's troubles?#a saviour complex but not the exact same thing?#anyway that urge to protect important people kicks up to 12 when it comes to our little sister #I think a big part of it is that she is having a much better and safer childhood than we ever did #and we want to keep it that way so badly #she doesn't deserve to even know about some of the things we went through because of the man she calls father #he has actually put in the work to fix his issues and not endanger his child which wasn't the case when we were young #but I'm glad regardless because our little sister deserves the world and we want to be there for her #as an unconditionally safe and supportive older sibling figure so that she knows she isn't alone #with whatever might trouble her now or in the future #okay that got serious?#anyway she also is so energetic it reminds me of klee #I truly enjoy the short little videos she takes of showing off her fnaf figurines or plushies #she's such a sweetheart and her interests have our full support even if we grew out of our main fnaf phase long ago #chalk thoughts

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artiststarme · 1 month

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Steve was used to being a disappointment. He’s let down his parents the moment he was born and continued to do so with nearly every choice he made. He disappointed the entire student body at Hawkins High right when they thought he might actually be someone important. And he let down the kids every time they asked for something he couldn’t provide.

He never thought he’d disappoint Robin though. She wasn’t fond of his dating tales of woe or his frankly pathetic work ethic at Family Video but he’d never seen the familiar spark of disappointment in her eyes. Not until he told her that he’s broken things off with Eddie.

It wasn’t like he’d wanted to either, despite their obvious differences, they made a great pair. But they wanted different things. Eddie wanted a cat when Steve wanted a dog. Eddie wanted to saunter in the streets and parade their relationship whereas Steve wanted to remain comfortable and committed at home. Most of all though, Eddie wanted to leave but Steve needed to stay.

Robin couldn’t understand that. She’s always wanted to leave the dead end town she’d been trapped in and planned to as soon as she raised enough funds. She was made for bigger and brighter things.

Steve, though, he wasn’t. He was meant to stick around and watch the kids until they left for school and grew up to lead happy lives. Steve was meant to stay the burdensome housekeeper of his parent’s home until either they kicked him out or he inherited it upon their death. He didn’t have the education to get jobs better than Scoops Ahoy or Family Video nor the experience that demanded anything better. He’d peaked in high school and everyone knew it.

Except Robin until that very moment. He watched the disdain form in her eyes and the hopes of their combined future leave her plans. By breaking things off with Eddie, he’d let both of them down. Eddie would leave without him to be the big rockstar he’d always wanted to be. He wouldn’t notice Steve’s absence. Robin would leave to go to school and become a professor or a linguist or a therapist, anything she wanted to do. But Steve would still be in Hawkins wasting away like he’d always been meant to…

Or so he thought until the day Eddie and Robin ganged up to kidnap him from Hawkins and start their lives together in the city.

Eddie became the world’s coolest rockstar, even more famous than Metallica or any other idols of his youth.

Robin became a social worker that assisted LGBTQ+ youth and at risk kids that needed her help.

And Steve became a novelist that sold his enchanting stories of monsters and super powered teens from alternate realms, of young men that fell in love with each other over cereal and bat bites, and chosen family that didn’t give up on each other.

Steve was no longer a disappointment to the people who mattered most to him (he’d soon realize he never was). Best yet was that he no longer disappointed himself. He could lounge in Eddie’s arms at night and spastically harass Robin during the day and the only emotion he ever saw in their eyes was love.

And annoyance from time to time but does that really count?

#lots of ups and downs with this one lol #did not know where this was going 80% of the time #stranger things #steddie #fanfic #steve harrington #eddie munson #robin buckley

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chlorinecake · 2 months

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Okay this is my first time doing one of these but could you do like how the enhypen members would react to seeing you practice their part in the choreography of one of their songs

「 ✦ enha reaction’s WHEN YOU LEARN THEIR PART IN A DANCE CHOREOGRAPHY ✦ 」

𓂃 𓈒 or when they see you dance for the first time

idol bf ! 엔하이픈 x non idol ! f. reader ⃘ 🎧

contains ∿ 🧋 pet names, kisses & teasing genre fluff, crack, est. dating 1192 words

𝐋𝐄𝐄 𝐇𝐄𝐄𝐒𝐄𝐔𝐍𝐆 ✴︎

He would be quite impressed honestly, taking pride in his sweet girlfriend wanting to mirror his talent in some way.

“You gotta get the head isolation down at this part, though,” he critiqued, putting a finger to his lips while dancing Sweet Venom.

“Well, if it looks wrong, blame yourself, because that’s who I’ve been copying this whole time,” you teased, poking him in the side of his waist and making him chuckle.

“Hmm… maybe your performance just needs a little bedazzling... Be right back!”

Your boyfriend ran out of the dancing studio, telling you to close your eyes once he came back before nestling a cowgirl hat atop your head like an angel on a Christmas tree.

You reacted immediately upon seeing your reflection in the mirror, a now smiley Heeseung standing behind your frame, “What?! Wait- When did you get this?”

Literally your face right now: 😭

“People don’t call me an ace for nothing, babe. Now c’monnn, let’s dance together this time…,” he urged in a sing-songy voice, playfully tugging at your hands while spinning you around, “I wanna see my pretty cowgirl dance for me some more...”

𝐏𝐀𝐑𝐊 𝐉𝐎𝐍𝐆𝐒𝐄𝐎𝐍𝐆 ✴︎

“Yeah, I literally have the world’s coolest girlfriend now…,” Jay huffed proudly, giving you a kiss on the crown of your head after catching you dance in the living room.

“Now? What do you mean now?!?!,” you asked offendedly, pouting at him slightly.

“This wasn’t exactly how I planned to bring this up, but are you ready to become my Mrs. Park?”

“I've been ready since the day we met, Jay,” you smiled, burying your face in his chest while hugging him, “But I would've danced your part in a song a lot sooner if I knew it'd get me a ring...”

“Oh? So a diamond is all you want me for now? Wowwww, babe-”

You gave him a look that automatically let him know you weren't too fond of the comment he just made, “Kidding” he said, ruffling your hair playfully, “I know you love me... enough to copy me, apparently.”

“Should we break out in synchronized dancing now?” You offered, playing Sacrifice Eat Me Up from the beginning on your phone.

“Yes… but only if you can keep up with me, of course.”

*Insert Jay's infamous Roblox smirk*

𝐒𝐈𝐌 𝐉𝐀𝐄𝐘𝐔𝐍 ✴︎

The definition of 🧍‍♂️when you pulled him aside to show off the new choreography you'd been working on for the past hour.

Goofy laugher pt. 1

“Is this actually happening right now?,” he asked while laughing shyly, just after you finished ✨performing✨ for him…

“What do you mean? D-did it look bad?,” you asked worriedly, part of your heart still feeling warm though from hearing his shy giggle earlier.

“No, no, you did great, it’s just… why my part?” He continued, hoping to draw the conversation in a different direction, given how flustered he truly felt.

“Because you look hot while doing it... I felt inspired,” you said cheekily, walking up to Jake and placing your hands on his chest, Jake’s hands wrapping around your waist as he looked back down at you.

“Babe, you can’t say stuff like that then act all playful without expecting my brain to short-circuit,” he sighed, face heating up as he looked back down at your giggling frame within the hug.

“Well, did I at least do your part in the dance any justice or did that make your brain-malfunctioning even worse?,” you pouted with puppy-dog eyes as if to persuade his anger, even though you already could tell he liked it.

“No, love… I'm just in shock, honestly... you did criminally well.”

*Insert second-hand embarrassment from Jake's corny ahh pun*

𝐏𝐀𝐑𝐊 𝐒𝐔𝐍𝐆𝐇𝐎𝐎𝐍 ✴︎

Sunghoon was initially kinda salty about you having locked yourself up in the garage all morning on his day off, but all those feelings went away once he caught on to what you were up to.

“Hey, I didn’t say you could come in here,” you yelped, just as your boyfriend barged in the garage, catching you mid dance move.

You had been practicing Chaconne because you knew it was one of his favorite songs and you figured it'd cheer him to see you supporting his interests.

“Don’t mind me,” he started, leaning against the wall with his arms crossed, “I’m just observing... please, continue.”

“God, Hoon, you’re embarrassing me,” you whined, covering your face from the way he was staring you up and down in this moment.

“It’s cute, though… watching you stress yourself out trying to dance like me when the pro's been one call away this whole time.”

The pro?, you thought to yourself, the self-proclaimed title being enough to snap you out of your bashfulness.

“I might’ve been practicing for a while, but I’m already doing some parts better than you,” you scoffed competitively, making him laugh at your words to the point where his dimples started showing.

“Cocky and shy? What an interesting combination… did you get that from me, too?”

𝐊𝐈𝐌 𝐒𝐔𝐍𝐎𝐎 ✴︎

Sunoo smiled knowingly as he walked into the dance studio, grabbing a nearby rag to pat-dry the sweat on your face, “you’ve been avoiding me all day and working out like crazy, so what’s going on?”

“I’ve been working on this tough choreography, actually … but since you’re here, maybe you can help?”

“Oh, okay,” he chirped, watching as you started to dance out the steps to Fever, stopping when you got to the part you’d been struggling with.

“How do you do this part? It just looks so much better when you do it…,” your voice stalled as you saw his cheeks expand with a smile on the mirror, “SUNOO!?”

Goofy laugher pt. 2–

The guy was quite literally laughing his ass off at you right now, feeling both a mix of embarrassment and flattery at your actions.

He noticed you pouting, covering his mouth to stall his giggles before speaking, “I’m sorry babe, you just looked so cute while dancing, I couldn’t hold back!”

“It’s supposed to look sexy though,” you whined, knowing that it’d get him to hug you in response.

𝐘𝐀𝐍𝐆 𝐉𝐔𝐍𝐆𝐖𝐎𝐍 ✴︎

“So is this your new idea of teasing me?,” Jungwon asked upon getting back home from work, the first thing in sight being you in front of the TV, quite literally passing the mic to one of his fancams.

You audibly scoffed at his words, pausing the video and giving him a look, “This is hardly teasing, Wonie… just ‘cause I’m your girlfriend, it doesn’t mean I can’t fangirl over you from time to time…”

He sat his duffel bag on the ground, walking up to give you his usual ‘I’m home’ kiss and hug before responding, “Fine then… but you definitely need to keep practicing that footwork if you want me to take you seriously.”

“Heyyy,” you whined, playfully smacking his shoulder which only made him laugh at how adorable you look, “now who’s teasing?”

𝐍𝐈𝐒𝐇𝐈𝐌𝐔𝐑𝐀 𝐑𝐈𝐊𝐈 ✴︎

“Okay, I do not stick my butt out like that when I do it. Watch,” Niki corrected, initially having cringed upon catching you dance Bite Me, but had now turned your little activity into a whole ass dance-off.

“Yes, you 110% do... you always have to babygirl-ify the dance moves,” you replied matter-of-factly, starting from the pre-chorus and flipping your hair more than necessary just like him.

“I know you’re about to start spewing trash whenever you use made up words,” he scoffed with fake annoyance, trying to hide the smile tugging at his lips after seeing you dance so passionately.

“Stop, I can tell you’re smiling! Just admit that you’re impressed by me, Riki, and take the L… or W since you have a talented girlfriend…”

“Fine… you’re right… I am highly impressed… both by your dancing skills and choice of vocabulary,” he confessed playfully, giving you a side hug and kissing the top on your head.

“Maybe we should work towards debuting as a couple duo now... I just know that everyone would bias us…,” he thought out loud, making you giggle at his words.

tysm for reading this quick lil fic ✗⚬ﾒ𝟶 a/n ℓօⓥe always ⋆⋆⋆

𝐩𝐞𝐫𝐦 𝐭𝐚𝐠𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭 ( 𝐨𝐩𝐞𝐧 💌 ) @squoxle @nikisdubblchococake @wonbinisbabygurl @ashgonedash @yourmomscuntis2tighy @watamotee33 @addictedtohobi @microwvdstrawb3rri3s

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astonmartinii · 11 months

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love love love these social media aus. i am obsessed. would love to see a soft launch with carlos maybe of him showing her spain and his home? carlos just screams old money european vibes and i love it

old money | carlos sainz social media au

pairing: carlos sainz x reader a class in soft launching 101

carlossainz55

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carlossainz55: some much needed time at home

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username WHOMST?

landonorris so i see my invite was lost in the mail?

carlossainz55 i thought you were tired of third-wheeling?

landonorris touche

username was deluding myself that it was maybe his sister but the third-wheeling comment just slapped me in the face

charles_leclerc ahhhh my favourite sainz

carlossainz55 thanks mate you're my favourite leclerc too charles_leclerc i meant the dog mate arthurleclerc that's not what you said to me at imola sainz

yourusername

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yourusername: let's go explorin'

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username i'd eat her last when we eat the rich

username what i'd do to be her friend? assistant at least?

username i saw her in madrid the other day and omg she's even more graceful in person

username her posture is insane i need it bad

username while she looks great and you're all right - are we ignoring that a MAN is driving the car?

username i am ignoring it because i don't want to think about it username she can't be the coolest person in the world and be in a relationship it's not fair

carlossainz55

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carlossainz55: blood is thicker than water

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username my favourite pastime is watching the old money aesthetic overtake carlos' entire being as soon as he sets foot back in spain

landonorris oh he's getting braver

carlossainz55 you gonna be bitter under all my posts cabron? landonorris until i'm wifed again, yes.

username so like why is y/n here?

username is that defo her? username i was referring to her liking the post but now you say it, the girl on the horse does look suspiciously similar

charles_leclerc mommas boy

carlossainz55 didn't know it was a crime to love my mum

username so yall be yelling about y/n but not telling us who she is and why she matters

username y/n y/ln is a spanish socialite whose family own a lot of the high end restaurants in madrid but she's most known for her poetry and style username so do we hate or love her? username i like her, and a lot of people do, just usual dislike for being grossly rich but from what i've seen she's pretty down to earth

yourusername

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yourusername: keeping the operation smooth

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username THIS ISN'T FUNNY

username stop playing with us please

username i feel like this is all the confirmation we'll get

username y'all i know he's an f1 driver and everything but we all know he's PUNCHING

username i need her haircare routine STAT

f1wagsupdates

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f1wagsupdates: it's all but confirmed!! after a pretty solid soft launch from both carlos and his new lover y/n y/ln, her latest post was captioned "keeping the operation smooth", playing on carlos' iconic theme song. our sources state that the driver and socialite poet have been together for as long as six months but after other relationships and relative platforms, both were determined to take it slow. what do you think?

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username they're very cute and i can't wait to see her paddock looks

username bestie i fear you'll be waiting a while she's notoriously private when it comes to event appearances - really only going out for her family or her own events

username they're annoyingly sexy like save some for the rest of us

username this soft launch feels like its been going for about seven years

username f1 drivers defo have a type

carlossainz55

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tagged: yourusername

carlossainz55: mi hermosa

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username AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

yourusername you live in my heart

carlossainz55 and i never want to leave landonorris free real estate yourusername my favourite third-wheel carlossainz55 stay out of grown people's business landito

username they're so lana del ray coded

yourusername

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tagged: carlossainz55

yourusername: life with you feels like poetry in motion

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username NOOOOOOO WE LOST HER

username but does this mean new poetry ??

carlossainz55 you make me crazy baby

yourusername crazy in love

username when will it happen to me?

landonorris finally i can interact without having a year long argument with carlos

lando.jpeg

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lando.jpeg: a study in third wheeling, a six month project by yours truly

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username i'm obsessed with this couple actually

carlossainz55 as much as you are annoying landito, thank you for these ❤️

yourusername we love you landito landonorris so i can use the boat yourusername i don't love anyone that much carlossainz55 eh? yourusername other than you obviously

username lando just starts domestics in these comments and i love that for him

note: sorry this one is a bit short, but i hope you enjoyed anyway!!

#f1 #f1 x you #f1 instagram au #f1 x reader #f1 imagine #carlos sainz x reader #carlos sainz imagine #carlos sainz f1 #carlos sainz x you #carlos sainz instagram edit

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arashi-no-saxlphone · 8 months

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Axl Low is conceptually so funny in-universe. You've got this poor guy who by all accounts is the sweetest coolest guy, but he's literally a gang leader. BUT. He leads a gang to end violent crime in his town and he does it by fighting but without netting a SINGLE CASUALTY while doing it - he just beats up all these criminals and almost every single time they're like "This guy kinda rules I'm signing up with him actually" and he SUCCEEDS in ending crime in his neighborhood doing that. Then he meets his girlfriend and she thinks he's such a weird goofy guy and she falls in love instantly. Things are Great and then he is Yeeted Through Time multiple times. He ends up a few hundred years into the future and he just kinda deals with it, maintaining a glass-half-full attitude for the majority of that time despite this being probably one of the most horrifying things that can happen to a person. No one really cares about all that though, because the guy with time powers is Very Dangerous because of the time powers. Imagine being told "That guy over there is an extremely dangerous threat to reality on a metaphysical level" and you look over and they're pointing at some guy with the Union Jack plastered all over him just DESTROYING a hamburger and he looks over and waves at you.

By Xrd and Strive he's got control of his powers, and this makes him A Very Seriously Dangerous Threat. The Original contacts him personally to deliver a message to The Fucking Gear Maker. The Gear Maker sees him cause like "Holy shit. The Axes of Time. This guy is very dangerous and we should be careful" and Axl Low shows up, asks him if he's The Famous War Criminal Who Caused All This Bullshit, and freaks out and leaves when said war criminal offers him cookies for his trouble.

Jack-O asks Sol in Strive what the biggest threat to the world is right now and he goes "Axl" with a straight face. They talk about how dangerous he could be and within 4 seconds of that conversation Axl Low drops out of Fucking Nowhere onto their Speeding Motorcycle cause he needs Sol's help to save some innocent people on a hunch. How do you not shit yourself? I'll tell you how - because Axl Low is the equivalent of accidentally tripping into hell and meeting the devil and it turns out that the devil is actually just a fluffy golden retriever who has NO idea what he's doing and just wants pats like any other normal dog. Except he is just really powerful so people make assumptions. "Absolute Power Corrupts Absolutely" not my boy Axl Low. Decided against doing what he wanted to get what he wanted most because he wasn't going to erase an entire timeline to get home, even though he easily could've justified it as "Not my problem, not my fault, this is awful." The second he has full control over his time powers he uses it to either help people or get fast food really quickly so he has time for a stupid quip after a round. What a fucking hilarious character dude imagine if you met father time and he was just like "can I borrow some cash for McDonald's?" because that's pretty much how he acts. And you're just bewildered so you're like sure, hand him a 20, and you blink and father time came back cause he got you some fries. I fucking adore this man.

#guilty gear #axl low #ggst #sairambles #He's a good boy your honor #I need to have the Axl Low mentality it would fix me

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braxlrose · 10 months

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i read your tom kaulitz weird and silly headcanons and i can't stop laughing 😭 wtf it's 4 am.. anyway will you do the same headcanons only with bill, pretty please?🤭 i know one hundred percent that this little bastard isn't so innocent what he looks like.. i'm sure he's as dirty as Tom 😭 btw sorry engilsh is not my first language ☠️ Greetings from Poland!!:)

(his skirt is so cute?!?)

Cześć jeszcze raz! Rzadko spotykam Polaków, więc cieszy mnie możliwość ćwiczenia języka polskiego!

also his skirt is super cute omg

silly and weird bill headcanons

cw: mentioned oral(f and m!recieving), making out, nipple play?, etc

-you are completely right, this mf is far from innocent 💀 tom is seen as the dirty minded one but this little shit would make the most dirty fucking jokes every and then act all innocent LIKE BITCH

-he's also passive aggressive. like very passive aggressive. pookie can't help it 😪

-the first time you, him and tom all got high together he got super paranoid and thought that you guys were all just figments of a dog's imagination

-when you guys are spooning, he reaches underneath your shirt and cups your boobs. it helps him fall asleep quicker apparently

-but sometimes when he's feeling like a little shit, he'll tweak and pull at your nipples and you have to slap him away. so then you make him promise not to do it again. spoiler alert. he does it again 😐

-hes an impatient mf so the amount he's burned his tongue after heating up a pop tart 😒 like bitch..just wait the two fucking minutes

-he loves kissing your temple and your forehead

-during the winter, if his hands are cold he asks if he can put his hand in your pants. 💀 like that's his exact words. "Can I put my hand down your pants?" he says it's because you're warmer down there than he is, but I think it's just cuz he's a dirty minded little fuck

-when cooking marshmallows over the fire, it's a 50/50 thing. Sometimes he's super patient and will wait and make his marshmallows a crispy, perfect golden brown color and other times he gets to lazy and will just shove it in the fire.

-he also thinks it's like the coolest thing in the entire world when his whole marshmallow is on fire

-he didn't know how to snap until he was like 16 and always got mad whenever tom could do it 😭

-he was super happy when he realized that he was the taller twin bc tom was allllwayyss talking about how he was 10 minutes older.

-YOU GUYS GOT MATCHING TATTOOS

-he literally loves getting matching tattoos with you, he thinks it's so cute and fucking loves it. somehow he convinced the both of you to get some dumb ones 💀

-when you two were little kids he used to beg the teacher to make you, him and tom partners. lil bro would get down on his knees

-speaking of getting down on his knees, the first time he went down on you he "accidentally" 🤨 bit your clit. I still say he did it on purpose though

-you guys know that thing that Gomez does with Morticia when she reaches her arms to the side and he kisses from her finger tips to the other finger tips? yall know what I'm talking about? WELL BILL DOES THAT

-he likes to sleep naked sometimes. because it's "better for sleeping" but I think it's just because he wants to sleep next to naked you.

-almost drowned tom at the pool 💀...multiple times

-him and tom make you sit by the pool and then make you tell them who's cannon ball was better. and this isn't just a like 16 yr old boy thing. they do this at 33 too.

-bill once stood up upside-down on a keg and drank it 😧. not the whole thing but it was super crazy. you later found out it was because tom didn't think he would do it

-he once jerked off in class and found a way so nobody would notice him EXCEPT YOU 😨 MF YOU WERE TRAUMATIZED

-he also doesn't know how to lock a door. so you'll just walk in and he'll be jerking off, or you'll turn a corner in his house and he'll be jerking off, you go to use the bathroom and he'll be jerking off. "I'm a teenage boy it's what we do!" BRUH GET A HOBBY

-if you don't know german, he'll randomly say dirty stuff to you in german. BUT THEN PROCEED TO GET MAD AT TOM IF HE TEACHES YOU BAD WORDS IN GERMAN 🙄

-he loves sitting in your lap when making out. like obviously he loves it when you sit in his lap, but he LOVES when he gets to sit on top of you and kiss you

-the first time he tried to give you hickies, he wasn't completely sure how to and ended up biting you 💀

-he's not a morning person, we all know this. so if you want to get him out of bed, you will have to drag him out by his feet.

-his dick is big. we all know this, but the first time you tried to give him oral, he accidentally slapped your face w/ his dick 😭

ANYWAYYSSS TY SM FOR THE REQUEST POOKIE I HOPE MY POLNISCH WASNT TOO BAD

taglist: @hearts4kaulitz @burntb4bydoll @spelaelamela @bored0writer @fishinaband @billsleftnutt @dead-tapes @tokiiohot @bluepoptartwithsprinkles

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minniiaa · 1 month

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Zolu is the more popular pairing but I feel like in Luzo is the more realistic one. Like one day Luffy decides he wants to try sex and well, Zoro is his closest friend and he’s the coolest ever so he just approaches him and straight up says “Zoro let’s have sex!” Zoro considers it for about .2 seconds in his ape brain before he shrugs and says “Sure” because 1. He’ll do anything to please his captain 2. Luffy never gives up on anything and for whatever reason he decided he’s wants to fuck Zoro and therefore that means it will inevitably happen, might as well not resist and 3. If Luffy’s interested in sex now he’ll do it with someone there’s no way in hell it’s not going to be him. That’s HIS captain after all and who’s he going to sleep with if not him? That Erocook? (Bonus: 4. Zoro always been mildly curious how Luffy’s rubbery traits would work in bed.)

People naturally make Zoro this dominating top because he’s physically strong and (generally) mentally sound and more stoic especially post TS. But let’s be real he’s been focused on nothing but being the worlds best swordsman since he was a kid, he hasn’t been out there fucking bitches getting money. (He’d get lost trying to find the hole tbh) He’s also a head empty chaos demon running around with Luffy especially pre TS. I just don’t see him having the time or wasting the effort to seek out sex, he’d rather drink and pass out.

Zoro would be more than willing to let Luffy do whatever he pleases and he’d enjoy it too. Luffy takes control of every room he enters and two of his biggest character traits are being hungry and never listening to anyone so why wouldn’t he be the top between the two? Yeah he’d be sloppy and maybe even a little selfish but that’s Luffy for you and Zoro accepts that.

I think Luffy would probably misconstrue their relationship and say that Zoro is his boyfriend out of the blue because from his POV someone you love, want to be with forever, and have sex with is your boyfriend and Zoro checks all those boxes.

Zoro would probably just accept it. He’d just let Luffy think that if it makes him happy and you know what, he WOULD be his boyfriend. He already devoted his life to the guy and would follow him into death, Luffy’s been clingy since the day they met, and looks at Zoro like he’s the sun in his fucking sky. If you add sleeping together into the mix, they really are just dating even if Luffy doesn’t necessarily know what that means. Or maybe he does know, he’s smarter than he lets on. He says things like “you’ll never leave me” and “we’ll be together forever” like their statements and not question. Zoro never denies it because he’s right, Zoro’s either going to die for Luffy or live beside him until he dies another way. If that’s not love than what is?

Yeah so cute top and big scary guard dog bottom have a grip on me. I think I’m on the Luzo train now.

(ps. I still ship Zolu and switch Luffy and Zoro this is just my brainrot of the day)

#thinking bout luzo #idk too luffy just keeps taking over all my ships #am I being converted?#or are Zoro and Law just obvious bottoms #I still like zolu btw this is just a fun headcanon #don’t flame me #one piece #luffy #zoro #luffy x zoro #zolu #luzo #one piece headcanon

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skyeslittlecorner · 2 months

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The little kings scenarios you have are the best! Here's a cute idea: you know how kids think you're the best when you do things they couldn't do? How about a scenario where they think you're the absolute coolest after rescuing them from...idk, something 😅 Like it's hard to imagine them being in grave trouble (maybe except for levi my poor bby) but for the sake of this ask, the little kings ran into trouble and the mc, in all their human capacity, saved them in the nick of time.

These little guys are a thousand times more powerful than their own subjects, let alone humans. Time to give them a problem they can't solve by force (or at least they shouldn't). It's good that in the eyes of children the smallest problems can be the weight of a collapsing world, and it's good that we are here to save them.

A small spoiler for ch5 in Mammon's part.

Satan will do anything to avoid going to the dentist, even as an adult, let alone as a child. But if you go with him, maybe it won't be so bad. Maybe. It's not even about the pain, he just doesn't like it when someone picks at his mouth. It's true that you won't find a magical solution, but you can hold his little hand. And let him squeeze you when he hurts. Also, you can buy him a dog chew. Either way, you will be his most favorite human in all worlds.

Mammon, as a child, had a big problem with too much power in too small a body. When he appeared at the door of your room at night, barely holding back his tears, you didn't think twice and just lifted the covers. He climbs onto the bed with you, and you feel how stiff he is. Help him massage his cramped muscles. The pain will soon pass, and he will hug you like the greatest treasure in the world.

Beelzebub is the easiest one, you just save him from Bael lmao. Not that he's hurting him, but he won't let him sneak out to Paradise Lost, and Beel has such a terrible urge! Take this little king on a trip to Gehenna and you will be a hero. Plus, you'll kill two birds with one stone, because little Satan won't be bored either. In fact, you can try to collect them all like Pokémon and feel like a full-fledged royal nanny.

Leviathan looks like he's even afraid of his own shadow. At first, he doesn't even trust you, but the more time you spend with him, the better he feels. His comfort zone will become the zone around you. Barbatos thinks he's constantly levitating somewhere close to you, like a planet around the sun. There is no threat in his palace, but in Levi’s eyes, nothing will threaten him only thanks to your presence.

#whb #what in hell is bad #whb satan #whb beelzebub #whb leviathan #whb mammon #skye's little talk

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abirddogmoment · 10 months

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youtube

A compilation of some of my favourite Mav moments ❤

#dogblr #maverick #mav memories #im sure some of you have seen a lot of these before #most have been posted on this blog through the years #im so grateful that i have such a good record of mavs whole life #just going through the blog archive you know?#anyway #i miss mav #he was the coolest dog in the world #Youtube

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sweaterkittensahoy · 2 months

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Saw a post somewhere in the Masters of the Air tags that said Bucky Egan is Lewis Nixon if Lewis Nixon gave into his impulses, and I need to respectfully disagree.

Bucky Egan is--to use some broad terms--young, dumb, and full of come. He's not stupid. He's just 25-ish with strict ideas about what it means to be an American (he enlisted when the war broke out, not after Pearl Harbor; which is some truly Wisconsin shit), and he wants to be the coolest, hippest cat in the room (his vernacular is based on loving media about mobsters and trying to emulate them). He drinks and fucks and parties because those are things that the characters in his favorite books do. And those are things he WANTS to do. Because he's 25 and can work the Clark Gable 'stache. In episode 4, when he sits vulnerably naked in front of that big picture window in his hotel room, having bedded a woman with a dark past (again, see his love of mobster stories; she's a femme fatale in his mind), he is shattered at watching the bombs drop on London. He'd known it was happening. But to see it. It's seeing the truth of it. Understanding that he, as a pilot, knows the level of destruction being attempted, and being able to accurately guess how well it went.

There's a moment where Paulina asks why he's all the way out in Hammersmith. It's clearly not central London. When he watches the bombs, they're not close by. But then he's walking down the street in his pilot's uniform in a generally intact suburb. But someone did get hit. One person DID get hit. And she cries and screams for someone whom she can't decide is alive or dead.

That's Bucky's own thoughts about Curt. That's Bucky's own thoughts about the men who flew the day before. That's Bucky's own thoughts about every man in every fort that went down. They're alive. No, they're dead. No, they're alive. No, they're dead.

What we're seeing by the end of episode 4, is Bucky faced with the unrelenting truth of death in war in a way he hid from himself in so many ways for so long. Partly by fucking and drinking and partying.

The difference between Bucky Egan and Lewis Nixon is that Lewis Nixon went into the war believing everything was shit. And he drank his way through the war because everything was shit. And he made a truly heroic attempt to blow up his friendship with Dick because everything was shit.

Lewis Nixon, if being allowed to give into his impulses, would have drank himself to death during the war. I believe that completely. Fuck, we know he had a hard time for several years after.

Bucky Egan, until he sees the bombing in London for himself after one of his closest friends has disappeared in battle (Curt) and another close friend (Buck) goes up without him, he doesn't let the war touch him. He doesn't let the WORLD touch him.

Bucky Egan drinks and fucks and parties because he LIKES IT. And he wants to keep it up because if he can keep it up, things can't be that bad.

But they are that bad.

Meanwhile, Buck Cleven is NOT Dick Winters. He doesn't drink. He doesn't gamble. He doesn't fuck. Sure. But Dick Winters didn't do those things because he was raised in a family where those things were held up as signs of moral fortitude and self-discipline. Buck Cleven doesn't do them because his abusive father did them all and into severe excess.

But Dick Winters would NEVER slow dance with a big dog to make his best friend laugh, and Buck Cleven would. Neither Dick Winters nor Buck Cleven would ever back out of a fight, but Dick Winters would never shame a man for being scared while Buck Cleven did. And rightly fucking so, frankly.

What's so interesting to Bucky and Buck is that "two randos with very different views of the world became the closest of friends" ALSO happened in Band of Brothers (and, in fact, in Generation Kill between Ray and Brad [a reminder I haven't seen the Pacific), and it speaks to how friendship bonds form differently in different situations but there seems to be some proof that people with opposite experiences in life can find common ground with a common goal between them.

#bucky egan #buck cleven #masters of the air #band of brothers #dick winters #lewis nixon #just meta thoughts

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lazycats-stuff · 10 months

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if ur requests are open could you do jason todd w brother reader whos like a baby baby, super young and the batfam is suprised he likes jason the most and jason gets really emotional when his first word is 'jay'

This is the most adorable thing I have read in a while. If a baby said my name as their first word, I would have lost any emotional self control l have.

Summary: Jason adores his literal baby brother and nearly loses his mind when he hears (Y/N)'s first word.

Warnings: fluff, just pure fluff, emotional Jason.

When (Y/N) first came, Jason thought that he wouldn't like him. He never liked babies, he thought that they were annoying and loud. But it seems like babies seem to have a power to tell who doesn't like him and make it their mission to make that person like them.

(Y/N) came because his mother didn't want him and the mother gave up her parental rights. Bruce was happy that she did that, knowing that she wouldn't care for him.

The boy won hearts of all the residents, even Damian. But he loved Jason the most. Bruce couldn't figure out why for the life of him (Y/N) liked Jason.

But he didn't mind, but Jason some times acted like a father. A single sound that comes from (Y/N), he is there. And that's why when (Y/N) was sleeping in the living room in Bruce's arms, when he started whining, clearly waking up, Jason popped his head in.

" He is waking up, don't worry. " Bruce calmed down Jason, who walked up.

(Y/N) opened his eyes and started squirming. Jason took him from Bruce, letting (Y/N) cup his face with his hands.

" Hey to you too, little bird. Did you have a good nap? " Jason asked the baby, watching him babble in response.

" Good? That's nice to hear. "

Jason left the living room, making Bruce watch in wonder once more. Jason walked outside, into the soft sun. (Y/N) also like Titus and he knew where the Doberman would be. He saw Damian getting back from his walk and Titus happily walking up to (Y/N) and Jason.

Jason knelt down, watching Titus slow down. Titus gently sniffed (Y/N)'s hands and gave them a nudge. Titus was always soft and careful with (Y/N).

And he was very protective of (Y/N). He was also sensitive to were (Y/N) was and he was vigilant whenever he was in the room with the baby.

" I know, you love him. " Jason said to the dog, petting him too. " Good boy. "

Jason stood up, allowing Damian to say his hellos.

" Did he sleep? " Damian asked Jason, giving (Y/N) a finger to hold.

" Yes, in Bruce's arms. "

Damian nodded, cooing at the baby. (Y/N) made happy noised and reached out for Damian. Damian took (Y/N) into his arms, swaying him in his arms. (Y/N) giggled and was happy to be swayed.

" He is such a happy baby. And easy one to. " Jason commented.

" You really think so Todd? I remember you not liking our youngest brother. "

" Well, he changed my mind, okay. Babies can be cool if they want. "

" I thought that (Y/N) was the only baby that was cool. " Damian said, giving (Y/N) a kiss on the side of his head.

" Well, he is the coolest baby in the world. Other are less cool. " Jason explained, offering to take (Y/N) back.

" Sometimes I feel like you are his father rather than Bruce. " Damian commented, watching (Y/N) settle in Jason's arms and watching Jason being careful with (Y/N).

" (Y/N) is one of the best things to happens to us. " Damian said, making Jason nod. Damian wasn't wrong.

" I know. This baby is the light of this family. " Jason said.

" Come on little bird, lets see the others. " Jason said, swaying (Y/N), making him giggle.

" I know, I know. "

It was dinner and the family was enjoying a family time on the couch, watching a cartoon. (Y/N) was sitting in Jason's lap, watching the Incredibles, watching as if he was hypnotized.

Jason was eating his snacks, also watching this cartoon. He didn't know how (Y/N) could watch this particular cartoon on repeat. It made Jason wonder how baby's brain works. (Y/N) was just babbling, gesturing with his arms.

Jason watched in amusement. His baby brother was so funny. And it was still weird to say that.

" Jay. "

Everyone heads whipped to (Y/N) and Jason froze up. What? Everyone got closer to the baby.

" What was that (Y/N)? " Damian asked, trying to understand the word.

Jason was still frozen, but he felt tears in his eyes. He sniffed as he waited for the word to repeat. What they didn't notice was Alfred recording this moment.

" Jay. "

Jason sniffed, trying not to cry. Everyone watched him, trying to keep his composure.

" Just let it go Jay. " Bruce said, taking (Y/N) into his arms, allowing him to lean forward and to bury his face into his hands. He allowed himself to cry, but those were tears of happiness and joy.

" Oh (Y/N), you are going to put me in a grave. " Jason said, leaning back, a smile on his face, despite the tears.

" Are you jealous old man? " Jason asked, seeing Bruce's facial expression.

" I'm not. I can consider myself lucky that he didn't call you dad. " Bruce joked, tickling the little bird. (Y/N) shrieked in laughter.

" Also, I think a little bat is more appropriate for him. "

Jason huffed at the nickname, moving to take his brother into his arms.

" Give me my brother. " Jason said, taking (Y/N) from Bruce. He made sure to give (Y/N) a kiss on his head.

" Good job sweetheart. " Jason praised his brother, making his brother babble once more.

#jason todd x child reader #dc x male reader #dc comics #x male reader #batfamily #jason todd x male reader #red hood x male reader #batkids

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sofiafantasies · 5 months

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Imagine: Jack seeing you for the first time but you can’t see him

Disclaimer; This is inspired by @cutiepieloves131

It had been three years since Jack became a guardian. And he had to admit, it was fun. Ironically enough he was the guardian of fun. But the spirit of winter.

He spreaded snow and frost everywhere. From France to the small town of Burgess. At first, it was strange to be a guardian, helping children, and being seen.

Usually, children were the only ones who could see him. Well, children who bealived in him. Which weren't a lot. But as the years went by a lot more came. And he got a decent amount of believers.

It was very strange. He would just be walking by making it snow and children would come up to him. It was surprising but he got used to it.

He would fly over the world when he didn't have to bring winter. But when he was, he's favorite place to finish is at Burgess. That's Jamie's town. Jamie is the first boy who ever bealived in Jack.

Burgess has a very special place in his heart. And so is Jamie. But while he is out flying around the world he encounters many strange people, that can't see him. Last time he "meet" a young female.

Jack was in Burgess bringing snow and fun like usual. That was his last stop for the day. He was done and all the kids were out playing. He was going to leave but then Cupcake came running out of her home.

"Guys! You won't believe it!" She ran to her friends. And Jack was just close enough to hear. He turned around to see the little ball of sunshine. "What is it, Cupcake?" Pippa asked.

"My sister is coming back from collage!" Cupcake jumped up and down. "Wait. Y/n is coming back?" Jamie asked excited like everyone else. Jack confused flew to them. "Who's Y/n?" He asked.

"Cupcake's older sister." Jamie answered. "Yes, she's the best!" Caleb said as his twin brother agreed, "Yeah, she is!" They high five each other.

"She is the coolest!" Monty said excitedly as he fixed his glasses. "Coolest?" Jack mouthed out. "Remember when we had that massive snowball fight?" Claude asked as he made a snowball and threw it at Caleb who dogged.

"Yeah, she was the best at that!" Caleb agreed. "The best?" Jack mummered. "Ooh, and on my birthday she made the biggest party ever!" Pippa jumped up and down. "She was awesome!" Monty exclaimed.

"Awsome?" Jack whispered. "Uh, were is she, exactly?" Jack said as he leaned on his woden staff. "She's on her way here!" Cupcake yelled. "When is she getting here?" Jamie asked.

Jack chuckled at their excitement. "I'm not so sure." Cupcake shrugged. While they all told Jack how awesome and generous Y/n was they didn't know you had arrived.

"Mom! Dad!" You ran to them and hugged them both. Tears where shead. Blah, blah, blah. "Where's Cupcake?" You asked. "Oh, she's with Jamie and the others." Your mother said whipping her tears.

You lowly gasped with excitement and with one last hug you ran to find her. "Cupcake!" You called as you walked along the frozen path. Almost slipping. But you grabbed onto a ralling for bikes.

You sighed and carefully walked along the path. "Cupcake!" You yelled again. This time you were somewhere near Jamie's house and near the lake. "Uh, Jamie!?" You called.

"Ugh, come back from collage to a very warm welcome." You mocked. "Cupcake!!" You yelled louder. "Y/N!!" Cupcake and her friends ran to you. "Oh!" You feel backwards due to the force.

"Hi, guys!" You greeted as you hugged them all. They all bombarded you with questions as you stood up. Cupcake was clinging to your leg which you honestly didn't mind. You knew how much she missed you.

"Woah, woah! Calm down. One at a time, please." You laughed with them. But as you answered their questions Jack flew near you. He observed your features.

How your E/c eyes glimmering in the sun. How your S/c skin suited you well. The way your H/c colered hair framed your face perfectly. How soft your L/c lips looked.

He could tell you where a kind person by the way you interacted with the kids. "It's nice to see you all. But it's getting late shouldn't you guys be heading home?" You asked. Cupcake had finally let go of your leg.

"Oh, right!" Pippa realized. "Will we see you tomorrow?" Monty asked. "You bet!" The kids all cheered. "Come on, Cupcake. Say bye." You told your sister as you started to walk away.

"Bye!" All the kids said to each other and they all went home. "I have so much to tell you!" Cupcake said to you. "Oh, well I would love to hear it all."

Jack being the curious and mischievous guy he is decided to follow you two. He wanted to know you. Maybe even have you see him. He knew you couldn't. But that didn't stop him from trying.

"I have this cool story to tell you. It was awesome!" Cupcake beamed. "Alright. How about you wait 'till we get home. Yeah?" You asked as you glanced down at her. "Okay!" You giggled as she skipped home.

Feeling a cold but gentle breeze you smiled. You loved winter. Sure it was cold but it was fun. A small snowflake fell infront of you. Bringing your hand up the snowflake landed on your palm.

You giggled at the cold feeling. You smiled softly as it started to snow more. "It's snowing!" Cupcake said as she tried to capture snowflakes with her tounge.

"Winter. So lovely." You whispered. Cupcake was a few feet away from you and Jack was right next to you. "It is, ain't it?" Jack asked even though he knew you won't respond.

"How I whish I could just..control it." This peaked Jack's interest. "How so?" He asked. "Imagine me..able to bring winter anywhere, anytime, whenever." You giggled. Watching the snowflakes fall into your palm you felt happy.

Happy to be home. "Well, snowflake, you'll be happy to know, I already do that." Jack informed. You giggled and shoock your head. "Talking to myself. Gotta stop doing that."

You looked straight ahead and saw that Cupcake was further away. "Hey, Cupcake! Wait up!" You ran to her. Jack chuckled at you and looked back but decided to follow you.

#jack frost x reader #RoTG #Pippa #Monty #Claude #x reader #Caleb #Jamie #Y/n #x you #Rise of the Guardians

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thelaurenshippen · 5 months

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re: that *chef kiss* PERFECT Franken-Drummer post and tumblr not being all over The Expanse, I know right?? it’s such an amazing show with so many delightful, complicated characters yet it’s so unfairly slept on! maybe because S1 takes awhile to get going and ppl give up? idk but it makes me sad that I have so few ppl to squeal about Drummer and Amos and Bobbie and Christjen and Ashford and Naomi (ad infinitum) with 😭🚀😭

WHY ARE PEOPLE NOT OBSESSED WITH THE EXPANSE HELLO!?!?! there's literally so much to love about it oh my god. you're right, it DOES take a second to get going but once it does!!!

for those of you who have not read or seen The Expanse series (I myself have yet to read the books), let me tell you why you'll love it:

political space drama with incredibly distinct cultures and phenomenal world building, if you're a details girlie (gn), you're gonna go nuts

the found family vibes!!??! are off!?!? the charts!?!? (minor spoilers for the first few episodes) four people are thrown into a situation in which they accidentally become the most important people/fugitives in the whole galaxy and most of them DO NOT trust each other, what could possible go wrong, and even better, what could possibly go RIGHT

Christjen Avasarala. you are not ready for her. most powerful mover-shaker on earth with the most incredible outfits you've ever seen, refined elegance with the filthiest mouth, plus she's got a classic "whatever those two have going on is so gay it veers into something else entirely" with her younger protective knight lady, Bobbie

Bobbie. the "not to be a lesbian but oh my god" post is made for her. we meet her in the show for the first time when she arm wrestles a robot and WINS. you will be begging for her to step on you with her mech suit

speaking of women I want to step on me Camina Drummer. angry revolutionary pirate queen of my heart. do you miss the unique agony of 2000/10s queerbaiting but want it to be not baiting somehow? this show does that, idk how else to explain it. the most agonizing sapphic pining you've ever seen but it's textual and also not painful because its gay. don't worry, Camina fucks, just not the girl she wants most (also spoilers, but this is not a bury your gays show don't worry)

Jim Holden is literally just Some Guy who becomes the special fantasy chosen one because he simply cannot stop Getting Involved. nosiest bitch in the universe, I love him.

imagine you're a girl who leaves your shitty ex and gets a normal industrial job on a spaceship, only to have a six foot, two hundred pound killer dressed as a mechanic imprint on you like a baby duck, and its unclear whether he wants to fuck you or call you a little sister but he definitely WILL kill for you and will do literally anything you say and then you both end up caught up in a weird galactic war by mistake and there's this other guy with a captain america level moral compass and he's cute and you're into him except your shitty ex is still out there with the biggest secret you have and meanwhile your best female friend is the coolest person you've ever met but you don't think you can be what she needs and you're holding your family together, you're holding the universe together and all you want is justice for your people but unfortunately you've gone and fallen in love with the accidental most important man in the galaxy. well, every day Naomi Nagata wakes up

Praxideke Meng. botanist of my heart. literally tames the rabid guard dog that no one else could. gentle and able to stay gentle because of said dog. which brings me to...

Amos Burton. I saved him for last because he is my guy. he is THAT guy. canonically aromantic pansexual king. are you into guard dog characters? do you find yourself drawn to the "sorry my love language is acts of service and all I'm good at is killing people" characters? amos burton is like seventeen tumblr posts come to life. previously mentioned enormous killer dressed as a mechanic, former heels wearing "I didn't always work in space" sex worker who is always rolling into brothels and being like "you guys unionized?", gives a shit about basically no one in the universe except his crew and every single child in the galaxy, accidental comedian because he cannot stop saying weird shit, not a nice or good person but a loyal one, and one who is always trying to relearn the empathy that was carved out of him as a young person. every time he goes homicidal to protect one of his chosen people (crew + any and every child), an angel gets its wings.

fin.

#answered #the expanse #most of this is cribbed from the essay I was texting a friend the other day lol #which is what inspired my expanse posting in the first place #bc I was like 'I HAVE to stop bothering this friend' lol #btw the canonically aromantic pansexual thing teeeechnically comes from the writers' twitter?#but like #you simply have to watch the show to know that about amos #he mostly doesn't sleep with people in the show and yes the few he does are women but the dude is queer #but anyway the authors have explicitly said he's aromantic and that his sexuality is 'yes'

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tropicalscream · 8 months

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Venture Bros & Transmisogyny

This is by no means exhaustive, well written and many people have said better & more than me

Venture Bros is weird in that it has some really bad trans coded characters who core is a shitty joke but also those said characters are also some of best trans rep I've seen in western adult animation at all

Take Dr. Girlfriend/Guild Councilwoman Shelia & Colonel Hunter Gathers.

Both their orgins are shitty joke. that's their origin and core.

Shelia is literally "haha woman has deep man voice & everyone questions if she's a woman "

HG is basically the other side of that. "haha man wit fake boobs and in dress thats so weris and funny"

But then like the joke ends. the plot continues and these characters who started out as shityy transmisogynistic caricatures become some of the undisputed coolest, smartest and most badass characters in the series

In a world of Necromancers, Super Villains, Demi Gods and Supersciense. These two regular mortal humans are the ones no one ever wants to fuck with

Shelia is loved, lusted at and sought-after by heros and villains alike. she starts as just the girlfriend/prize to villains having a dick-measuring contests.

Then goes on to become the leader of the whole organization by her own merits, intelligence, snd tenacity and is respected by all by it.

Hunter Gathers is your Nick Fury, he's literally Hunter S Thompson, he's the person who trained Brock Sampson, is a Master Spy & commands untold loyalty from his troops.

He got a sex change to infiltrate a all woman assassin group but his face was still "male" and that was the butt of many jokes.

But even after he goes back to being male he constantly laments how he misses being a woman like unironically.

He literally says at one point: "I miss my breasts! Inside me is a woman screaming to be let out!"

I guess thats what happens when a show was on for 20years and is a product of its time and was darl.and edgy but then dropped the edge and became this huge world and a show about Failure in all its forms

And in a show about Failure where everyone's a washup, has-been, burnout and a joke

Its the two trans ones that stopped being jokes and ended up top dogs

#venture bros #the venture bros #dr. girlfriend #hunter gathers #transmisogyny

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