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apamates · 3 days

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Realm of the elderlings ask meme thing

Thanks for tagging me @khutsydoh !! I love thinking about my favorite wet dog of a man

Favourite Rote book: Fool's Errand

Why: I'm a romantic at heart, ngl. The domestic bliss, walks on the beach, late night talks sipping brandy by the fireplace, the Fool reading everything Fitz had written (!!!!! I can't think too much about that one without wanting to explode), Fitz getting every surface of his house lovingly carved by the Fool... Just the truly incredible way Fitz described that bubble of happiness and feeling whole (even if he was still forged!!!) just because the Fool was there with him and Nighteyes. I love it when a character is the most repressed being ever and the love still bursts through because it's just that strong.

After every awful thing that happened in Ass Quest, I definitely think Fitz deserved a time away from the Farseers to rest and find himself outside of all the roles he had to perform for the crown. Though, 15 years in nearly complete isolation except for Hap and Starling are a strech, he really was running away from life like the Fool said. Him coming back to Buckkeep and facing all the people from his childhood as an adult felt so amazing to read. I personally feel a lot for Fitz and his complicated relationships with his family. For him to meet Chade honestly and make him see how much he hurt him was !!!! Him hating Dutiful at first just bc he saw so much of himself as a kid in him and tbf Dutiful is a tangible reminder of all the trauma from his teenager years, so Fitz having to process all that was exquisite too.

Funniest mission ever to have to find a teenager that's unknowingly horny for a cat, but the Fool and Fitz can turn it into a secret identity rom com and I ate it up!!! Happiest book of the trilogy for me and it's because Fitz was happy to be near the Fool.

Top three favourite characters: Beloved in all their facets, Patience, Ronica

Top three least favourite characters: Regal, the Satrap, Civil

Favourite ship of the floating kind: Ophelia bc she's an agent of chaos

Top 3 ships of the people kind: Fitzloved, Althea and Jek (Robin Hobb really missed so much potential), Patience and Lacey

Would you rather be witted or skilled: Skilled

If you were witted, what animal would you bond with: Probably my cat bc we already spend nearly every hour of the day together.

Would you rather live in the Outislands, the Mountain Kingdom, the Six duchies, Bingtown, the Rain wilds, Kelsingra, Jamailia, the Pirate isles or Mercenia/Fool's homeland?: I haven't read the Fitz and The Fool trilogy so idk if I'd like Kelsingra but the Six Duchies seem like the better option just because I hate stuffy society and the cold, which rules out all others.

How were you introduced to the books: I love Chihayafuru and a wonderful artist I followed for that fandom posts about ROTE. I got the sense I would love to suffer about it and asked about the right order to read the books, thank you @leafykat !!!

Share a quote you love:

As I entered to set the pack on my table, the wolf was sprawled before the fire drying his damp fur and the Fool was stepping around him to set a kettle on the hook. I blinked my eyes, and for an instant I was back in the Fool’s hut in the Mountains, healing from my old injury while he stood between the world and me that I might rest. Then as now he created reality around himself, bringing order and peace to a small island of warm firelight and the simple smell of hearth bread cooking. He swung his pale eyes to meet mine, the gold of them mirroring the firelight. Light ran up his cheekbones and dwindled as it merged with his hair. I gave my head a small shake. “In the space of a sundown, you show me the wide world from a horse’s back, and the soul of the world within my own walls.” “Oh, my friend,” he said quietly. No more than that needed to be said. We are whole. - Fool's Errand

Sometimes a family is just two guys and their matchmaker wolf y'know

Tagging: @yevrosima-the-third @mistninja @leafykat

#rote #rote spoilers

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garnetrena · 4 days

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Realm of the Elderlings Ask Meme Thing

I was tagged by @tragediegh , thanks!! 💙💙💙

Favorite Rote Book: Assassin's Quest and Fool's Errand

Why: I love Assassin's Quest because there's a lot of my favorite parts in the whole saga in it: Fitz and the Fool in Jhaampe, Kettle (who's a character that I love a lot), the stone dragons... It's very epic and I love it.

On the contrary, I love how Fool's Errand is mundane and domestic, especially in the beginning. Once again, Fitz and the Fool in the cabin is one of my favorite moments in the whole series. I also love the persona of Lord Golden.

Top Three Favorite Characters: The Fool, of course (I speak so much of him that pretty much all my friends know him, even if they've never read the books!). Kettricken is another character that I love a lot. And Umbre, even if he's morally grey, but that's why I like him! I also love Nighteyes and Lady Patience a lot, but we're supposed to only say three characters.

Top Three Least Favorite Characters: Galen, Hest and Dwalia

Favorite Ship (of the floating kind): Paragon. I love his character development and his relationshp with Amber is beautiful.

Top Three Favorite Ships (of the people kind): Fitz/the Fool (Fitzloved), Lacey/Patience and Burrich/Chivalry.

Would you rather be Witted or Skilled? Skilled, to understand people better and to reach out with my friends who live far away

If you were Witted, what animal would you bond with? A dog or a wolf, like Fitz

Would you rather live in the Outislands, the Mountain Kingdom, the Six Duchies, Bingtown, The Rain Wilds, Kelsingra, Jamaillia, The Pirate Isles, or the Fool's Homeland? Kelsingra or Mercenia (the Fool's Homeland)

How were you introduced to the books? When I was a scout, one of my chiefs was really into these books and she advised me to read them. I was ~15 and I didn't know it would change my life. I went to the library and borrowed them. And now, here I am!

Share a quote you love: There's so many of them!

"‘I am not the person I was born. Neither are you. I know no one who is. Truly, Fitz, all we ever know are facets of one another. Perhaps we feel as if we know one another well when we know several facets of that person. Father, son, brother, friend, lover, husband… a man can be all of those things, yet no one person knows him in all those roles." (The Fool, Fool's Fate)

"He is not my lover. He is far more than that to me, far more precious." (The Fool, Fool's Fate)

‘Why can’t people love one another and still remain free?’ (...)

‘One can love that way,’ she conceded regretfully. ‘But the price on that kind of love may be the highest of all.’ She strung her words together as carefully as she strung her beads. ‘To love another person like that, you have to admit that his life is as important as yours. Harder still, you have to admit to yourself that perhaps he has needs you cannot fill, and that you have tasks that will take you far away from him. It costs loneliness and longing and doubt and –’

‘Why must love cost anything? Why does need have to be mixed up with love? Why can’t people be like butterflies, coming together in bright sunshine and parting while the day is still bright?’

‘Because they are people, not butterflies.’

(Althea and Amber, Mad Ship)

It was the old naming magic : if I know how you are truly named, I have power over you. If I tell you my name, I grant you that power. (Fool’s Errand)

And the iconic:

Wolves have no kings. (Assassin's Quest)

And I'm tagging: @chonaku-things , @blackandwhitemotley , @elderling-magic , @electropeach , @madou-dilou , @whatevsbla and whoever loves Robin Hobb and feels like doing this ask meme! And no pressure if you don't want to do it, consider it's just me saying hello ✨

#robin hobb #realm of the elderlings #ask game #tag game #rote #answers

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the-villainous-ace · 8 months

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Saw some discourse (can't remember where) about Crowley's sunglasses in the timeline

Vaguely I remember it said that him wearing glasses in the Job minisode, Land Of Uz (2500 BC) , seemed "out of place" / unnatural when later he doesn't wear them in Golgotha (33 AD), when they witness the crucifixion.

Originally in the season 1 timeline of their encounters, we first witness and therefore, were inclined to believe that Crowley's first debut of their signature shades was 6 years after Golgotha, in Rome (41 AD) .

But we find later that he actually debut a pair of tinted spectacles earlier in 2500 BC, which is year's before we were led to believe in season 1.

And even then another flashback minosode could change it yet again.

Now, we know that Aziraphale and Crowley's meeting in the Land of Uz is the first they've seen of the other since The Flood, Mesopotamia (3004 BC) * [Aziriphale makes a comment about it].

I did wonder if maybe this was the first time Aziraphale sees Crowley with eye-glasses. But I feel like he would've made a comment about them. Upon recognizing Crowley he sort of gives him a look up and down at their appearance, but he dosen't mention anything about it despite it being the biggest change in apparel worn. Prior it was mostly just variations on long robes of white and black respectively seen worn at the Garden (4004 BC) and at the flood (3004 BC).

I feel like Aziraphale would've said something about it, unless he had already seen Crowley in something similar previously. Or rather he understands that Crowley is simply blending in.

This leads into my PoinT...

That Crowley wears glasses in order to pose as a human (aka. Billdad the Shuite).

Crowley has a number of personal reason he prefers to where his Sunglasses (look cool and mysterious, hide his expressions/feeling, as an armour to protect himself etc.) But professionally, it would be hard to go about your buisness if people were freaked out by your serpintine features. So he wears them to blend In.

In the Job-isode, the times Crowley is wearing the glasses (aside from his first introduction) is when he is posing as the HUMAN, Bildad the Shuite, professional midwife/cobbler. He even fools multiple Archangels of heaven with his human guise.

Now compare that to when he isn't wearing them. After taking them off to taunt Aziraphale he doesn't put them back on? Why?

Because he isn't pretending to be the human family friend Billdad the Shuit . With Job's kids, He is acting as a demon, "sent here to destroy you all" (but not actually, just turn you into lizards, temporarily).

So I pose the reason Crowley wears glasses in 2500 BC, but not in 41 AD when he meets Aziraphale and re-introduces themselves as the now "Crowley", is because he wasn't assuming a human identity at the time. In fact he could've just popped round after doing some demonic work. He does mention how he "showed him all the Kingdoms of the world" (one of the temptations offered to Jesus in the dessert).

Eventually, approximately starting 6 years later in Rome (but possibly as far back as Job), eyeglasses become a permentant feature of Crowley's earthen appearance/apparel for year's to come. In fact I'm sure Crowly inadvertently invented all the stereotypes of cool/dangerous guys in sunglasses for the future.

I believe the glasses become a facet of their identity, as he creates it while living on Earth. As he begins to re-invent themself (beginning with re-naming himself) and develop his identity on earth he adopts the sunglasses more.

For convenience as times became more modern, but also because they proved useful in tricking both heaven and hell. Heaven won't recognise him and Hell can't tell what he's thinking or feeling. Nothing is given away.

Anyway that's ma'point. Better stop now before I start rambling more

I have more to say, I especially want to dive into the change in Aziraphale's demeanor with Crowley from the start of the Jobisode, towards the end as well as how it compared with their previous encounters shown in season 1.

Here's a link to a Youtube video by o0Zewy0o of Crowley and Aziriphale's meeting.

o0Zewy0o- Aug 5 2023.

Aziraphale & Crowley, meeting through the Ages, In Chronological Order, GOOD OMENS S1 + S2

****(might edit with gifs/images later)****

#good omens #crowley #good omens 2 #good omens season 2 #gomens #good omens crowley #good omens season 2 spoilers #good omens theory #good omens analysis #good omens job #Good omens episode 2 s2 #crowley my beloved #anthony j crowley #the demon crowley #im a demon I lied #billdad the shuite #professional midwife/cobbler #from eden

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pastelsalmonsworld · 10 months

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My personal timeline as a multi shipper

Here’s my controversial MHA (I know I know) ship timeline. I see a pattern of simply liking a ship because the two characters had an interesting interaction or exclusive to Izuocha, where Ochako can only likes Izuku. This is in order by timeline. I want to to spread this to show people that you are not hated by 100% of a group of anybody. We are all multi-faceted beings. My ships are based on interesting dynamics not canon-ness thereby superiority. This list is based on a timeline, not my interest.

‘Shipping’ in my case is simply enjoying the characters in a fanart or fa fiction outside of canon which is deemed more than is needed to understand the charcters. Support romantic or otherwise fanart with mainly two characters basically. It doesn’t even mean I see how they would be together in canon. Before bakudeku, I read most of these at the same time. I felt I had to have one ship only at some points too which isn’t true.

Maybe shipping for me is just liking an aspect of a story.

Izuocha. I liked this ship because it seemed like it was going to be obviously canon. I enjoy a lot of canon-ships like NaruHina, KanaTanjiro or just about any of my favorite shoujo and boys love pairings. Also a few spare girls love comics too; cute! I just thought that’s how it was. First friend and supportive and obvious.

Kacchako. I enjoyed their fight in the Sports Festival arc of mha because Katsuki didn’t hold back. I agreed with most of the crowd, he’s /kind of/ insane in how he acts at his point in the series. I fully believed he would go Sasuke or Villain route in this part of the series. I liked that he didn’t treat her differently because she’s a girl despite his intentions. Ochako put up her best fight and found something new in herself that she hadn’t before; the wit and quick thinking to fight back against a super strong unrestrained Enemy. I ended up seeing a BEAUTIFUL fanart of him sitting at a desk and Ochako sitting at a wind that was amazingly rendered. I read a lot of— let’s just say extremely out of pocket fan fiction about this rare pair. I felt insecure about this ship because it got made fun of online. Also Bakugo’s ‘nothing frail about her’ comments in the relationship connection extras. Regardless, interesting, fun, imaginative, unexpected.

KiriBaku. This seems to be the mostly widely /accepted/ ship in my opinion. I feel like it has the most support in the American fandom. Kiri was super popular at the time I joined my hero and I was deep in the weeb-tok era of 2019 through 2021(anyone else miss the “Iwa-Chan, kageyama!/ I know that I’m gonna slaughter dis” sound? And OH the cosplays). MAN I miss it it was so fun and less dodgy than boring-ass takes and blind fighting on twitter. I was a bakudeku hater at this time because I blindly believed the death threats were true. I didn’t hate the ship personally feel deep down but I thought actual death threats would’ve been too far. I often dumped mean and repetitive comments on anti-bakudeku tiktoks. I really enjoyed an actor au where the author switched the moha characters to playing their Japanese voice actors. Baku go/okamoto really wanted to play a canon gay character in the drama they were actors in but Izuku got it first which caused his continued resentment of izuku because he assumed he was not gay. It was really fun and some of the fics were very memorable and wholesome. Good times! At the transition between these two ships the fandom was all happy and the fanfics were funny and Bakugou was being supportive of his friends in his own way at this point.

Bakudeku. The plot twist of the century. But, not really. See, I hated bakudeku mostly because I wanted to fit in with the popular opinion and simple “they hate each other!!”. In order to seem normal and not insane since it was so hated. Again, I already thought bakugo’s character because it humanizes a bully in a realistic way. I usually live for those crazy ass villains anyway; it’s just anime. Death Note??? But obviously, I never would have put Bakugou in Izuku together. Rewatching season 1 that shot was terrible as fuck and heart wrenching and I feel so bad again after watching and I can see why I absolutely hated Katsuki when I watched mha. I can see why people still hate him. Again, I started looking at the fanart out of spite and saw a lot of fanart with one of them looking at the other back and watching them from behind. It’s really true to the series. It is so heart wrenching to watch and read. That’s why I like reading it. I’ve read SOO many fics where either of them die mostly Izuku, because of the suicide comment, but eventually with the event of black whip, mostly Katsuki for obvious reasons. There’s a deep theme of saving and winning and even the horror of death when you love someone so obviously I was captivated. Some fics, and I mean A LOT, basically predicted word for word the hospital scenes. I don’t like ‘I know your secret power’ tropes, but it’s there. There’s just so much between them it’s crazy. The way /The Way You Used To by: edema ruh/ has like the exact hospital scenes that LATER!!!! Happened in the manga… the death, the emotional power-ups, the connection of a separate soulmate ( ‘nother person in your body thing like the vestiges) quirk, PLUS ofa transactions inspired by two heros that canonically seem like they’re about to happen. You’ve got the Volume cover and everything to show for it too. Themes of almost Spider-Man and Gwen???? I rewatched Spider-Man 2 and it’s like huh??? And also Izuku is inspired by spider-man as well? Oh SHIT, is bakugo Izuku’s failed save? I’m gonna be SO FUCKINNG MAD if that happens, but I’m one of those people who enjoys angst a lot at the same time and I will appreciate it. I’m so everything for this ship for this ship platonic friendship or not I may just ship their friendship

TodoIIda. Usually, I don’t find a lot of my ships seeming canon except for this one. I already know that any important relationship or friendship between characters can be shipped but since they aren’t seen interacting on screen much next to the scene where iida saves him instead of going ahead, it really stuck. That must have been Horikoshi’s intention because he came back to them recently like they matter to each other. I JUST remembered the stain arc and how IIda and Shouto’s can relate on wanting revenge. Iida’s motto to help someone anywhere any time relates to Todoroki’s helplessness as a child. They’re important to each other. Friends, family.

Togachako. I didn’t consider this a ‘ship’ per se until recently, but I was obsessed with how Toga wanted become Ochako and the people she loves also how they like the same boy I guess?? Izuku seems oblivious and somehow even unrelated to their relationship even though it started it. There was this one cosplay tiktok with a poppy sound on it and I was OB- SESSED. I told you I love me some crazy simpy villains and Toga is just that. Unexpected was how Ochako starts to focus on her specifically and want to save her. I was NOTTT expecting her to say she was jealous of her smile. I was so sad when Himi said she didn’t want to talk to Chako anymore so I was PUMPED to hear people spreading the misleading togacjako canon on twitter. Toga biromantic/sapphic vampire whose blood-sucking is like kissing, is getting blood from ochsko for the rest of her life. I don’t know if toga really cares anymore. I also enjoy their possible relationship to Yuki-onna. Would love if something came out of them in canon, though I just realized toga explicated said she wanted to go out with Izuku so why can’t she do it for ochako?

dabihawks. I was SO confused why people shipped this when they barely showed their interactions. I only realized when a mostly canon style fan manga dubbed did a dabihawks comic. I then realized they are are almost the same childhood reflections of each other, neglected, abused by their parents

As an end note, I learned that every ship dynamic has to be romantic, but usually it is because of recent fan culture. I’m 15 but I know a lot about older fandom because I was an avid Kaichou Wa Maid Sama fan and used the less popular fan fiction.net. People are a lot nicer on fanfixtion sites than on social media sites, I’ve learned also older fandoms didn’t get massively hated on like MHA does. There’s just more people in the world who watch now. Remember to be yourself because there’s always someone feeling just like you out there, I promise. Chaio;3

#izuocha #katsudeku #kiribaku #dkbk #togachako #multishipper #mha fanfic recs #mha manga #mha season 6 #mha fanfiction #mha bakusquad #I actually like!bakusquadheadcanons!!!!!!#Todoiida

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levmada · 1 year

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If I may? What's your unpopular aot opinion if you have any?

Perhaps. (just my opinion)

- grey shirt levi is overrated. s3p1 had a big focus on levi bc it was partly about exploring his past and his character, and ofc levi in that outfit is just MUAH but i could think of so many others that are under appreciated (not counting official art). for instance his vest, tie and slacks (with and without the suit jacket) in marley, that casual low-neck(?) t-shirt + black pants combo for a scene ALSO in s3p1 that was cut out, or his little white sweater from the end of s3p1. i’ll find pics

(jeez it was difficult to find those panels)

– ymir and historia’s relationship wasn’t that captivating. i think because since it’s a lesbian relationship, and it’s basically canon, that it’s held to especially high regards and gets a lot of attention

– erwin gets too much hate for only being seen on the surface as ‘ruthless’ and treating the lives of his soldiers flippantly. just like every character, he’s more multi-faceted with guilt, a childish stubbornness to see his missions thru to the end, his suicidality (at the crate when he talked to levi the last time), etc.

– eren wasn't annoying in the first seasons, or at least he wasnt written to be for no reason. he's fifteen and as far as he knows the ONLY person who can transform into the very monsters who killed his mother + save the world (or at least what he knows it as). of course boy has issues and some emotional problems lol

– gabi is EXTREMELY misunderstood and anyone with media literacy could at least draw the parallels b/n her and eren (when he was a kid). she doesn't deserve all the hate she gets at all. she was a victim of immense (like from BIRTH) brainwashing just like the warriors. and if u wanna throw blame... technically eren was the one who killed sasha.

– the ackerbond isn't slavery, but it's also completely up to interpretation whether it exists in any meaningful way at all. like with lots of things pertaining to the aot story, it's up for interpretation.

– the dub is overall better

– the rumbling was not justified?? idk if that’s majority opinion but i’ve seen a lot of ppl who think that

– the jean horse jokes and half marco jokes were never funny </3

– levi’s choice on the roof makes sense (which i go into more detail with in another post)

– mappa is better than wit

minor manga spoilers

– reiner’s mom’s behavior / character is realistic. she isn’t there to serve as a plot device to be the source of all reiner’s insecurities and issues about being an eldian and so on. she’s an abusive person but no one in aot can be whittled down to a monster or an angel. that’s one of the big points of the story. arguably, that can apply to everyone.

– mikasa from the very beginning deserved so much better than eren and especially in the anime her character was reduced to existing for him, unlike levi and erwin, and kenny and uri (say what you want about those ships, but those are the lieges of each ackerman). i dislike eremika. in fact jean and mikasa would be (or are depending on how you interpret the manga) better and healthier together.

– if erwin lived post-RtS, he would NOT have agreed to the rumbling. yes, he sought freedom to explore the world outside the walls more than many of the major characters, and in his eyes the ends justified the means. but erwin was smart enough to know logically that indiscriminate genocide wouldn't have solved anything, or at least knew it wasn't a long-term solution, and besides, he did have a heart. as much heart as levi, hange, mike, and the rest. for what other reason did levi of all people choose to follow erwin than because he saw something Levi didn't in a world this hellish? Levi even says that Erwin's dream (the scouts' dream rly) was too "innocent", but if it wasn't, it wouldn't have been worth fighting for. so!!!

#OPINION #kane has mail #no hate pls

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astrxlfinale · 2 months

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HC; Stellaron Connection.

So how exactly should the Caelus's connection with the seed of calamity be quantified? Where does the fine lines of a barrier hold, where does the melding and mixing of potential begin? This is exactly what I want to dive into as my version of an interpretation of the shared relationship.

From how I perceived the events, I see the Trailblazer as a successful and particularly fished soul from the countless echoes, spirits and what not that swims within the recreating chaos of the Stellaron hive. Their current body is one unique fashioned, moreso a vessel composed of Information (in the magical law) based sense. It's when the Stellaron, thus the soul was infused, a mixture of it's miraculous properties and their reconnection with reality led to the Information to take the state of a human being.

An important and lost history is also involved in these matters.

So that brings the question of how exactly does this all operate? I believe the hive of the Stellaron and Caelus were forcefully disconnected, allowing the solitary to reign, while the Stellaron power his soul is drenched in works as a door to depths that bastardize time and space. This is what creates his unique connections with those calamitous seeds, allowing him to live through 'recordings' of people's past lives if they were in a intimate, interactive proximity. (Cocolia being the best example.) Though, it isn't entirely clear from who's perspective he was witnessing it from.

This then leads to the matter of Nanook. I won't say it was solely the scale of his resolve, the urgent need to decimate any opposition in his path that allowed Nanook's gaze to fall upon him. In another way, the Stellaron proceeded to forge a link, allowing for the heart of the Aeon to pulse within it's golden wound, and in turn setting the very energy that connects them on fire as that potential alone had eradicated the Ravenger. To me, this shows how this force is far from Caelus's dominion.

Rather, it's this unique coupling of circumstances that makes a growing power that gradually siphons from the Stellaron, emboldening his might incrementally. In return, he has to temper himself through trial, fighting is a destiny seared into his very awakening if he's going to not have this very potential eat him alive. While embracing the journey for it's beauty is one important facet, another is to garner strength, whether that's in allies or personal potential realized.

Hell will be his personal road to Heaven.

#| HCs #Been in the works here!#tl;dr: Trying to will the Stellaron composition he's composed of would eradicate him if it's all at once #Right now it's more of an opportunity for a 'lot' to be done #Both in seeing the unseen #And unlocking thresholds that he'll require

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kithtaehyung · 1 year

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Before Valentine’s Day is over:

A letter to my beloved author-nim…

Dearest Ryen,    I've been reading your work since 3Tan was a one-shot. I discovered it on AO3 on a day I was feeling very sad and very alone. I read it. I reread it. Then I read it one more time for good measure because, it was so full of everything wonderful a good writer can do, on each pass I caught something I had missed (partly also because, on my first read, I was absolutelying DYING in 3Tan Yoongi's presence and had not a single wit about me, lol). When all was said and done, I didn't feel so alone.  Your writing is always class A, but I want to give special focus to 3Tan here because it literally heals me: Yoongi has showed us so many sides of himself over the years, and your fashioning of those facets into 3Tan Yoons has to be one of my most favorite characters. I love that you can see the little glimmers of traits in who he really is and develop them out into a full-fledged written personality that feels so human and so incredibly full. Same goes for reader. Sometimes its hard to identify with the reader persona. Not here. Not only is she her own unique person (no Mary Sue to be found around these parts!), but she is incredibly relatable. She's hilarious, and sweet, and fiesty, and smart, and such a character in her own right - not just something to imprint on, and I've fallen in love with her as much as I have with her Yoongi. I also love that you decided to leave her brother untethered to any specific known figure, and that we get to imagine him as we will. Your confidence in your audience is clear in these instances, and it makes your writing so much more fulfilling and compelling.  Lastly, to top it all off, you are not only an incredible writer, but also a lovely person. You bring nothing but joy and laughter to the Tumblrsphere, and I love coming to your page where I feel I can come as I am to appreciate fandom and writing and just being a lil' human bean in this crazy world. Thank you, from the bottom of my heart, for all you give of yourself to all of us.   Love you, Ryen!     Most affectionately,   VioletSiren90 <3 <3 <3

Oh my gosh… violetsiren, I’m about to not have my phone on me for a bit but I wanted to tell you that I read this and now have a huge, huge smile on my face.

I’ll come back and add my thoughts to this when I’m free again, but I did want you to know that you are an angel and someone that I truly appreciate being here. You just made me super happy and felt so seen and loved.

I just.. Wow.

Thank you.

Edited with my thoughts under the cut🥺❤️‍🩹

I’m glad you don’t feel alone. That’s my number one thing that I’m happy about here, because no one should ever feel like that. 3tan is here to tell people that they aren’t alone—in feeling, or experiencing, or thinking. Or even living. It’s there as a love letter and as a reminder that we’re all just people living and getting through life.

As for this Yoongi, I’m so honored you enjoy him. He’s my comfort character and I wanted him to give joy and safety to as many people as possible. But also: he isn’t perfect. He is certainly flawed and going through his own shit and is terribly bombarded by his own inner struggles. But he’s providing reader comfort despite that, and it’s just touching.

Reader is a beautiful soul in their own right!! She’s always gonna be the one that I love writing no matter if it’s a good, bad, or neutral situation. I’m so happy reader resonates with you, too. That’s wonderful feedback because I want this to be as relatable as possible!! And leaving bro up to interpretation allows you all to imagine whatever you want and keep it inclusive. The fancasts are fun and hilarious but he really can be anyone.

This will always be a safe space. Use it whenever you need❤️‍🩹 I’m just here to have fun, share what I create with y’all, and have a good ass time with whatever the hell we decide to cook up🤣 And of course!! Come as you are, there is no judgment here. Anyone can stop by and hang, I’m just here getting the popcorn and fireplace and drinks and whatever else ready😌

Thank you for such a wonderful letter. You even remembered that love letters to the characters or author was even part of a Valentine’s Day poll!! Ugh, I love that. Thank you for this and I’m so happy you’re here.

#oh my gosh #I need to come back asap and say my piece!!#violetsiren90 #*ryenfictalk #asks:3tan #lovely people #calm tag #valenryens #mailbox💌

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corvatrix · 11 months

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Nothing We Learn Is Useless | Scythe by Neal Shusterman

RATING ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

💡 REVIEW

Incredible, fascinating book. Lots of thoughts on empathy, compassion, personal growth, consequences, and what it means to be human when your mortality is no longer an issue. Parts of the book were a bit predictable, but it wasn’t so bad that it felt like lazy or cliché writing...it felt like good writing with consistent characterization and world building.

The book ends on a cliffhanger, but the ending is also satisfying enough if you were to just read the one book by itself. I already own the next two books (hurray for box sets!) and I cannot wait to devour them.

Spoilers and predictions below. Please keep spoilers out of the comments!

🗝️ THEMES

The pain of empathy

Humanity and the loss of innocence

Duty and honor vs. passion and desire

Emotional intelligence and vulnerability

Worthiness (and who decides worthiness & unworthiness)

📖 TROPES

Coming-of-age

Teenagers selected for special assignment (Chosen Ones)

Teen angst

Starcrossed lovers

Good guy wants to keep things as they are; bad guy wants systemic change

Political intrigue

Life-or-death stakes

📆 PREDICTIONS

Rowan & Citra are star-crossed and I’m sure the romance will grow, but there will absolutely be conflict; this will probably be the differences in their opinions on how to behave as scythes and what should be done about the more “progressive” members of the Scythedom

The Tonists are going to be a major plot point moving forward (possibly an uprising and a desire to return to mortality, or at least giving people the option to be mortal)

Curie & Faraday will fall in love again and end up gleaning each other

Goddard sympathizers will continue to push for limitless gleaning

Rowan will find Citra’s “old guard” ideals problematic and Citra will think Rowan is going too far gleaning Goddard sympathizers

💬 QUOTES

“Scythes were no more supernatural than tax collectors in the grand scheme of things. They showed up, did their unpleasant business, and were gone.”

“It’s refreshing to be challenged. You have no idea how tedious it gets--the pandering, the obsequious flattery, the endless parade of sycophants. A slap in the face is bracing. It reminds me that I’m human.”

“We’re roughage. If we don’t cause a little intestinal distress, no one knows we’re there.”

“Good intentions pave many roads. Not all of them lead to hell.”

“Nothing we learn is useless.”

“Scythes wished to be seen as the many facets of light, not of darkness.”

“There are no accolades for the unworthy.”

“Motives can easily be beaten into weapons.”

“I live here not because of its extravagance, but because my presence here is the only way to preserve it.”

“It’s not about age, it’s about stagnation. Some people grow stagnant before they turn their first corner. For others it could take hundreds of years.”

“Learn how to show compassion in the face of tragedy. It was emotionally exhausting, but rewarding. It was preparing her to be a scythe.”

“The idea of irrevocable death without the controlled hand of a scythe was too much to bear for a world that had conquered mortality.”

“In a profession where conscience was a liability, who would want one?”

“I am legend. Yet every day I wish that I was not.”

“I think all young women are cursed with a streak of unrelenting foolishness, and all young men are cursed with a streak of absolute stupidity.”

“Although scythes may be the most powerful humans on Earth, they are also the most vulnerable.”

“There are times I feel I am fighting a losing battle against an old-fashioned apocalypse of the living dead.”

“He wanted to be a failure, because only by failing would he know that he held on to a shred of his humanity.”

“My greatest wish for humanity is not for peace or comfort or joy. It is that we all still die a little inside every time we witness the death of another. For only the pain of empathy will keep us human. There’s no version of God that can help us if we ever lose that.”

“Martyrs testify far more effectively than the living.”

“In our line of work we must hold on to every bit of honor we have.”

#aoas #scythe #bookreview #five stars #read #books

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frostfall-matches · 11 months

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[ matchmaking... ]

@ anon (🍓) : [ match report ready ]

your romantic match is…

✦ Vil Schoenheit

The intimidating, classy couple - independent, confident, and cool. The way you present yourselves to other people is rather similar on the surface, though of course each of you have your own facets under that front you put up for most people. You’re more reserved than Vil, so you’re more likely to pull back from the limelight when possible, but people still definitely regard you as a power couple whenever they see you out together. The way you hold yourself was one of the first things that Vil was attracted to; he has a decent eye for people, and little patience for incompetence. That you seemed sure of yourself and also not boastful was appealing to him.

You two are able to relate to each other in terms of being perfectionists and holding yourselves to high standards. Perfectionism is a double-edged sword, and both of you know that all too well - it is simultaneously a great strength and a great weakness. That being said, perfectionism is likely the main contributor to when one of you is feeling agitated, upset, or down. Thankfully, you two are able to easily empathize how the other is feeling and why they’re feeling that way - and you quickly figure out the best ways to comfort the other without coddling them too much.

You have the backbone to stand up to Vil if needed. He’s not the easiest to get along with, and he’s demanding when it comes to other people living up to his standards. It takes a particular type of person to get along well with him and deal with him when he’s being unreasonable. That being said, he doesn’t mind when you challenge him on things or butt heads. He doesn’t seem like the type to get along very well with someone who is very weak-willed and unable to advocate for themselves; he understands those types of people to an extent, but it is much more comfortable for him to be around people who are willing to value themselves and defend their perspectives.

Sometimes Vil might scold you if you’re tactless, similar to the way he scolds Epel for not presenting himself in a way that is professional. Your bluntness is great, sometimes - some people really need it in order to get the message. But other times, it might come off as tone deaf and inconsiderate. Vil knows you’re smart enough to find tactful ways of voicing your critiques or complaints, as well as evaluating the best way to speak to someone. He cringes internally if he’s ever around to witness you sticking your foot in your mouth and rubbing someone the wrong way when you didn’t mean to. Don’t take it too personally, though - he just wants people to see you in the best light possible, as you deserve.

He loves seeing the outfits you put together. He thinks your fashion aesthetic is classy and yet, with a unique spin on it. You’ve definitely made it your own, and he loves to see it! He would absolutely help you take pictures of your outfits for your friends or social media, if that’s something you like to do. And if he discovers that you’re okay with it, he would be the type to discreetly take candid photos here and there. You look nice, and he wants to capture moments where you’re looking and feeling good. Vil would also get a few pieces that resemble your style for himself - that way, some days he can match your style when you two go out together. It’s not hard, either, since he favors formal and elegant styles himself, and he can find pieces he likes that would fall into vintage fashion styles.

He quite enjoys how varied your interests and hobbies are. You’re well-read in the classics, but you’re also a big fan of contemporary series. Other than books, music and video games fall into your list of main interests, so you’re exposed to such a variety of mediums and ideas. On top of all that, you have a good sense for business and you like exploring those topics - which is not something most people can say. This all makes you seem like a well-rounded person to him. While Vil is pretty busy and has plenty of his own interests to focus on, he’d be happy to check out any recommendations you have for him when he has time. It all goes on a mental backlog, and sometimes you don’t even know he started reading or playing something until he brings up that he’s halfway through whatever it is and wants to talk about it.

Vil checks the boxes for traits in your preferred partners. Well, more or less, anyways - you specified someone gentle yet authoritative; he’s absolutely more on the authoritative side, and he really isn’t gentle when addressing his peers. However, he’s more vulnerable when it comes to interacting with his partner, once you break those walls down around him. He’s just a little more soft around the edges with you, more affectionate. He is also quick to pick things up, and hates feeling uninformed; even if his area of knowledge doesn’t line up with yours, he’s willing to put in the effort to research and understand things even if he doesn’t encounter those specific topics very often.

While you may hate unnecessary change, Vil would insist that there’s no growth if you don’t push yourself out of your comfort zone or if you don’t get varied experiences. He’d argue that the bare minimum amount of change isn’t enough to keep growing and learning as a person - but if you aren’t ready to take that step on your own, he’d help you. Yes, your independence and desire to carve your own way is admirable, it’s one of the things he loves about you, but rely on him a little bit here and there! He finds that he really likes it (although he should really listen to that advice himself - all too often he’s reluctant to accept help from others).

your platonic match is…

✦ Malleus Draconia

Your main bonding topic is your shared interest in old architecture and the stories that may surround old buildings. It’s not a common interest for most people - or, at the very least, it tends to be a pretty shallow interest for many people. So it makes him happy to have a conversation (and exploration) partner that is well-informed and open to discovering more. He’s such a well of knowledge when it comes to this stuff - and is happy to talk about places he’s seen in Briar Valley. If you’re interested, and you have the chance to get off of campus at all, he would love to show them to you so you can see these places personally!

Similarly, he’s glad to know that you don’t have trouble with stories and subjects that aren’t for the faint of heart. He would still try to spook you with scary legends and stories that he knows, though - but isn’t particularly fussed if you aren’t scared (but he will be a tad amused if you do get a little uneasy).

It would definitely take a while for you two to really bond. You’re reserved enough as it is, and he’s not a social butterfly either. Both of you are comfortable being alone, and don’t really need a lot of social interaction to be happy. Funnily enough, you mention that you’re often initially seen as intimidating; Malleus definitely understands the feeling! (though, your peers probably wouldn’t be terrified of you like many are when it comes to Malleus). Natural, easygoing conversations would not happen for quite some time - early conversations would subsist solely on shared interests and basic small talk.

Malleus greatly appreciates your honesty and bluntness. There are a lot of people who aren’t willing to be honest with him - out of fear or simply wanting to stay on his good side and avoid offending him - so your honesty and frank way of speaking is a breath of fresh air. He frequently comes to you for advice or to ask for your opinion, and he’s happy to extend the same courtesy to you as well.

He likes that you’re very knowledge-driven, and interested in history! And he can definitely understand how tedious it is to study the same subjects and topics over and over again without actually learning anything new or making a new connection. He’s long-lived, and he isn’t really learning anything new at NRC, so his days in school can definitely drag on him a bit. Still, he gets to learn a lot when it comes to humans and interpersonal relationships. Malleus would be a good fit as an intellectual partner - he’s a good source of information, and would be supportive of any of your intellectual pursuits.

Malleus absolutely relates to your dislike of unnecessary change. He does not adapt well to big, drastic changes, and he understands all too well the apprehension in addressing a world and people that may change all too suddenly around you. Although, for him, he may not even really think about his personal organizational systems and routines being affected by change (he’s pretty timeless in that sense), but he listens well to your grievances if such changes were to unwillingly happen to you.

At least one of you is tech-savvy. You will become his go-to person for anything electronic that he can’t figure out (which is, unfortunately for him, a lot). He’ll get the hang of things eventually, once you show him enough times. He’s definitely confused every time you show off some cool new piece of technology you’ve obtained, but he enjoys your enthusiasm nonetheless. Malleus isn’t super interested in playing video games himself, but he doesn’t mind watching you sometimes! It’s something new and different that he doesn’t personally get to see very often.

Malleus would be happy to accompany you to bookstores and libraries. He likes the quiet of libraries, and there will always be something he can pick up to read. And drag him to the stationery sections, or full on stationery shops - he hasn’t frequented those places much, but he’d probably like to look around! He would pick supplies up solely just to write letters to you. Please write to him as well - Malleus would adore getting letters from you, even if you don’t have much to say in them. He doesn’t have many friends, so this is a fun way to keep in touch with you (even if you see each other most, if not every, day).

#anon matchup #twst #request

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septembersghost · 2 years

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I just want to say that I have lots of Jewish friends and also Jewish ancestry in my family, and I've been to Israel and it was incredible, so.. I just want to tell you that I support Jews and admire your traditions, and just want to give you a huge hug? anti-Semitism sucks. (also what makes zero sense to me is why kanye west is anti black when he's black himself??? how is this supposed to work)

it's been so scary to me to witness the steep rise of this over the past few years - the harmful rhetoric, the hate crimes, all of it, it just breaks my heart. and any prejudice does, we're seeing an increase in so much bigotry directed towards disparate, vulnerable groups, and it's soul crushing at times. it's upsetting and mind boggling how cruel and discriminatory people can be towards others. antisemitism bordering on violence is something i dealt with directly in high-school, over a span of time and traumatic incidents, so it makes it particularly personal in that sense, i know what it looks and feels like close up. i know we lost family in europe who we can never bring out of the ashes. i know i wouldn't be here at all had my grandparents' families not fled the old country because they were already facing pogroms, before the n*zi regime even rose to power, had they not landed on the shores of ellis island. i know our names were changed. all of my elder family is gone now, so those last connections to those places went with them, just as the last eyewitness accounts of survivors of the death camps are becoming more past than present too. my elderly friend who held my hands in his as he told me about watching his family rounded up, some shot in the ghetto, all separated in freezing train cars, divided at the camps and never seen again. it's not ancient history (though there's been plenty of persecution and exiles and forced conversions and executions there too). it's only removed by a couple of generations, but as their voices recede to history, we have to speak for them.

memory and learning are such important themes in jewish culture, and for all those before us and all those who didn't get the chance at their lives, we're supposed to remember them, remember for them. light the flame for them. that memory is another of our senses, meant to be collective, to derive meaning from the history. so when i see targeted hate directed at the jewish people, it's not only that it's visceral for me because i've faced it directly, it aches for all of us still living, for all those who've been lost, all those who've gone before us, whose memories are kept as blessings.

i always admit i'm more culturally jewish than religiously, i still enjoy gentile celebrations too because i spent so much time with that part of my family, and i don't regret that or feel conflict over it, i'm happy to have experienced different things and been surrounded by open exchanges of beliefs in a compassionate manner, but i identify with my jewish heritage in a far stronger and more spiritual way.

the mitzvot that mean the most to me are those centered on the importance of kindness. kindness and love are key facets of jewish teachings, and it is meant to extend to all people, to the animals, even to blessings of objects. we're supposed to do mitzvahs, good deeds, we're supposed to act in chesed or gemilut hasadim (literally loving-kindness). to see jewish people characterized in the untrue cruelty that people like kanye peddle is not only dangerous, it's wounding. (there are also black jewish people and they have no association with the hate group he mentioned. likewise, his anti-blackness is despicable and something i cannot begin to speak on or explain, as is the same with his ilk like cand*ce ow*ns. his misogyny is also persistent.)

i think about viktor frankl writing, "Then I grasped the meaning of the greatest secret that human poetry and human thought and belief have to impart: The salvation of man is through love and in love," and elie wiesel, "There is divine beauty in learning, just as there is human beauty in tolerance. To learn means to accept the postulate that life did not begin at my birth. Others have been here before me, and I walk in their footsteps. The books I have read were composed by generations of fathers and sons, mothers and daughters, teachers and disciples. I am the sum total of their experiences, their quests. And so are you."

we're supposed to be tasked with healing, with repairing whatever of the hurt we can in the world (tikkun olam), leaving it just a bit more mended than it was when we got here, and it's like...hateful words take a knife to the stitching. i see the poison of that, when it's accepted, when it's furthered and emboldened, and it makes the fight a little fiercer, a little harder and heavier, because i know that it goes too deep to fix in far too many minds and places. all we can do is try our best to patch it again where that's possible.

anyway! i'm rambling as usual, but thank you for your kind words and understanding. it helps and means a lot to me, and i'm sending you a huge hug in return 💙💙💙

#anonymous #letterbox #you are not obligated to complete the work but neither are you free to abandon it #bubble wrap around my heart

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colnerys · 2 years

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RE : how did sharing a body, mind, consciousness with Lela Dax affect & change kira nerys?

during the zhian’tara, the memories of one of the symbiont’s previous host will be transferred temporarily from the symbiont to the entity who loaned them the body.

canonically, we know that lela was a legislator, one of the first few women to be on the council. lela dax once said the profound quote of “ what if a person but a sum of their memories? ” and i think this in particular, is something important for kira to see, feel, and witness.

from “the lives of dax” we get a glimpse at lela’s political career, how she was ridiculed by the symbionts older than her, how nobody but her wanted to make contact with the L’Dira. we see so much of dax’s passion, dax’s love, and lela really sets the tone for the next few hosts of the dax symbiont. it’s because of lela’s open-mindedness, and her willingness to foster the symbiont’s desire to see the world that’s profoundly changed trill society.

now, nerys at the point of “facets” (late s3), she was hit with the tragedy of losing bareil, having to watch him die. she’s in a state of flux between daring to step out of the world she knows (the pain of the occupation) and stepping into the unknown (a life of potential joy) and it scares her to not have control. having lela’s memories imprinted onto her opened her mind.

the most prominent example i can draw on is from “indiscretion” (4x05) in which she has to work with dukat of all people — yknow, the person she so desperately wants DEAD. the person that she hates more than anyone else. she could’ve left him to die as she just left him there to wallow in his guilt, realizing what he did — but she couldn’t let him just die ... even though she hates him with everything that she is.

this is the one episode that gave us the possibility of dukat and nerys coming to an understanding of some sorts. that he would apologize and give bajor the very real restitution, and reparations they deserve. but he doesn’t.

the merging of nerys and lela’s memories gave her an overwhelming sense of courage, confidence, and wonder. nerys in season four is a lot more sure of herself, walks with more pep in her step, genuinely enjoys going to the holosuite with jadzia. the zhian’tara gave her closure in some sense — and having been in communications with lela during the whole process? it was as if she’s experienced a love that she desperately needed ... after all, kira did choose to grieve bareil on her own because she didn’t want to burden anyone. lela, in a sense offered her this courage to be open, vulnerable, and soft.

#anyways #* 𝐌𝐔𝐒𝐄 : headcanons

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thatstormygeek · 11 days

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Adults have this tendency to assume a sort of bubble surrounds kids and school and the like. Teens are unaffected by the world around them and the behavior they witness from the adults in their lives unless said adults specifically decide they are being affected (say, if there's a book in the library that has a mention that gay people might exist).

Article after article comes out talking about the increase in violence or mental illness "post pandemic" and often either hints at or outright states that "lockdowns" are the cause.

Look. Around. Y'all.

The former president (and current Republican nominee for president again) is currently on trial for felony election interference. He has been convicted of sexually assaulting a woman and then twice convicted of defaming that same woman. Another case is ongoing about classified documents he took with him when he left office.

None of that even touches on his constant vocal awfulness about all kinds of people. He's openly racist and xenophobic about immigrants. He's openly racist and xenophobic about American citizens who have names that don't sound "white" enough. It goes without saying that he's about as misogynistic as a person can be. He's mocks people with disabilities. He's just...gross. He exhibits the vast majority (if not all) of the behaviors we try to teach our kids are wrong.

And this is Missouri. So a whole bunch of these kids' parents support him. And his clones that have infested the GOP. Hell, our House Speaker here has been facing an ethics probe and has been accused of obstructing the investigation. It's trash all the way down.

What the fuck do you think you are teaching your kids when you excuse or overlook this shit in public officials? I can't imagine why we're seeing an increase in violence and behavioral problems when a hell of a lot of adults seem perfectly okay with toddler tantrum behavior when it comes from their cult leader.

And that is just one - ONE - facet of the bullshit. You may not think so, but your kids hear you stressing about money. They are able to notice that jobs suck and don't pay shit and expect a hell of a lot out of the people who make the least. They witness your negative attitudes, about how this type of person or that type of person is why things are so bad for your family. Your shitty Caitlin Jenner jokes are absorbed into the toxic stew of bigotry you've been seasoning here and there, though you probably tell yourself you're always careful not to say anything outright horrible when they are around.

Ultimately, children are fucking people and exist in the same world we do. You will never understand all the things your kids witness and think and theorize, what they accept and reject as they learn and grow. Everyone's perspective is their own.

The idea that you are somehow protecting them by removing books and locking down internet sites and keeping drag queens out of libraries while simultaneously pouring poison into their ears would be laughable if it weren't so fucking tragic.

#this is my brain on life #trashpool says fuck this shit #children are people #parents are people too #elders of the interwebs #elder queers #midwestern queers #missouri

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ladegaard59campbell · 2 months

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best squishmallows Options

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#squishmallows #mart #squishy #best #top #new

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splendi-city · 1 year

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of hospitals

i am not the healthiest person. i guess on first glance i seem physically, completely capable. i have all my limbs, no obvious disabilities, and i am able to portray living a full life. however, behind the scenes, i go through problem after problem. now i say problem as an umbrella term because fuck knows my body is broken in a million more ways than i will ever be aware of. different vague health issues every damn time. but whatever, this is not meant to be a self-pity post. point is i’m sick a lot. consequentially, i spend a decent amount of time in hospitals.

a little bit of self-pity is to be warranted in this paragraph. having to go to the hospital so much, it doesn’t seem like its a big deal anymore. those around me simply let out a sigh, “again?.” and i guess its fair. after a certain point there is no longer a sense of urgency? so u don’t rly care as much knowing at the end of it, no matter how sick i am in the moment, i am really just fine lol. regardless, it doesn’t feel great. no matter how many times it happens, my pain is still my pain. i would like to be taken care of, treated, manja-ed. but no one really does that for me. i am expected to be able to handle it with grace, simply because i have done it before. and i wish that were the case but truth be told, i am weak every time i have to go through this. and having to go through this more often than most just means that i am drained more and more every time. at this point, i am a shell of myself just dreaming of a day where i don’t feel some sort of random excruciating pain at any part of my body.

then came him.

i would like to believe i made my peace with the fact that i am responsible of taking care of myself, in general but also more specifically in the context of hospital and emergency room runs. but somehow this boy waltzes into my life, actually takes charge of making sure i am okay and physically comfortable at all times. he makes an active effort to be there for me, to care for me, to make me feel better. i was going through a whirlwind of pain today, one of the most excruciating ones i have ever felt in my life. all i had to do was tell him. without skipping a beat he was working out the logistics of how he could be the one to bring me to the hospital. how he wanted to be the one there to hold my hand through the entire process. the past few times where he actually had to bring me to the hospital, he was the most attentive person i have ever gotten the privilege to witness. from driving me (when he doesnt even drive), to pushing me on the wheelchair around the whole hospital, to letting me sleep on his lap in the waiting room, to just making sure i’m well-fed and comfortable. i’ve never been pushed on a wheelchair unless i was unconscious. he keeps saying “smol ting ony.” when it means the absolute world to me that i have one person that actually takes my pain seriously. who would actually go out of their way for my comfort. who would reassure me my pain is valid, no matter how much i try to gaslight myself that it isn’t.

i’ve never had this from people who weren’t family. and even so, my family is truly over it and too tired to put in the effort anymore lol. i have never felt safe in hospitals. i’ve always felt like i had to fight and fend for myself. but now i have him. he makes me feel so loved and cared for. he makes me feel like i’m not alone. he is already an amazing boyfriend, through a million other facets of his presence. but seeing how he treats me when i’m sick, is a really good bonus. i would have never expected this treatment from anyone, and i am so so grateful that he came into my life to show me that it is possible to have someone with you going through tough times. this is the kind of love i believed i didn’t deserve. one i didn’t think i would ever get the privilege of experiencing. and for that i thank him. thank you sayang, for all that you do for me. for making hospitals bearable, nay, fun. if i had to go through this lifetime of pain and sickness, i’m eternally grateful to have you by my side. (preferably i would just like to stop getting sick, but ykno). i am forever indebted to your kindness, tolerance, and patience. you are truly my light at the end of this tunnel, and i love you endlessly for it.

thank you for your gentle hands, and for pushing me on wheelchairs.

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etherrreal · 3 years

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“the things you do for charity”

Pairing: kenma x gn!reader Genre: fluff Summary: kenma's always been a private person, but it was getting increasingly harder to keep his partner off his streams while you live together; so, he decided to join his two loves together for a 24-hour charity stream extravaganza. Word Count: 3,408 Warnings: some swearing, i suppose there are some spoilers from the manga about adult kenma's job? A/N: i'd give my left tit to play some minecraft or mario kart with kenma tbh -Luna

Kenma's career as a popular streamer was one of the many facets of him that shocked you when you’d started dating two years ago. The two of you had first met in an Animal Crossing discord for your city meant for trading and making friends.

After you had gone over to his island to adopt Raymond from him, he let you keep all of your Nook Mile Tickets with the stipulation that you kept in contact with him to "give him updates" about how the cat villager was doing in his new home. His dorky way of trying to flirt with you was what made you pursue him in the first place, and somehow it had led to a very fulfilling relationship.

It was revealed early on that he was a streamer, but he never expanded on it regarding the actual numbers. Curiosity got the best of you one night, and you decided to google him. Besides also learning that he was a YouTuber, you found yourself in awe at the numbers he managed to accumulate across all of his social media.

And if that wasn’t enough, he was also apparently the CEO of his own business.

Once you moved in together around the one-year mark of your relationship, you got to properly witness the amount of work put into streaming and maintaining a social media presence. This also meant that you got to read the wild comments that were left on all of his platforms–and see the occasional surprise nude picture whenever he opened up his DMs around you.

Because of this, Kenma sat you down to have a conversation about your potential appearance on his social media. You both decided by the end of it that his audience would get to know that he was in a committed relationship, but you agreed it would be best to not show your face or reveal any identifying information of yours.

It had been a year since having that conversation, and you’d both stuck to the agreement closely. The most his audience had ever seen of you was your hand whenever you refilled his water bottle for him.

Of course, it was hard sometimes, especially when you had to remain extra quiet around the house and refrain from yelling out a 'baaaabe' whenever you needed something from him, but since he had his own soundproof office, it lessened the room for any accidental error.

Overall, you were content with never showing your face to his audience for the rest of his career. You knew how nasty the internet could get because of their parasocial relationships with influencers and streamers alike, especially when they discovered those influencers and streamers had a partner who wasn't them, even if they knew they never had a chance. You weren't sure your skin was thick enough to deal with rabid angry stans.

Which is why it was so shocking when Kenma decided one day to nix the agreement.

You were in your shared bedroom answering some emails when he came in. He was dressed in a baggy hoodie, sweats, and tied-up hair; his typical look for a stream.

After some time, you noticed that he was still standing in the doorway, not saying anything. When you glanced up at him, you found him awkwardly toying with the strands of hair that had fallen out of his bun, looking down at the ground like he was just waiting for you to notice him.

"Is there something you need, baby?" you asked. "You're just standing there all adorably shy."

"Yeah, so, um, I'm going to be doing a 24-hour stream this weekend to raise money for charity."

"Oh, really? Cool! I guess that means I'll be going to bed alone that night," you joked.

"Yeah, I guess. Um..." He started before scrunching up his face like he was uncomfortable with what he planned to say next.

"What is it? Do you need me to stock up on snacks and energy drinks? Just send me a list. I can pick them up tomorrow."

"No, that's not it. I was thinking of making a stretch goal be you coming on stream so we can play Minecraft or Mario Kart or something...I mean, I totally understand if you don't feel comfortable. I could always replace it with something else. I know they've been wanting to see me dye my hair a bright color and dress up like an e-boy, so--"

"Really!?" you nearly yelled.

"What? That they want me to dress like an e-boy? Yeah, Kuroo said it would–"

"No, I mean..." You tried to fight the confused expression that was growing on your face, but your squinted eyes gave you away. "You really want me on your stream? Like face and all?"

"....Yeah, I really want to be able to share this with you. But don't feel like you have to do it just to make me happy."

It was a large ask when looking at the full picture. Kenma had his fair share of fans and "stans" who lacked boundaries, as seen from a select few who visited your home several times this year, or the handful that found you on social media already just from seeing a glimpse of your college ring on the hand wrapped around Kenma's water bottle.

There could be a chance you could receive direct hate on your social media just because you were a person who dated a popular streamer. You would then be in the public eye with little privacy and have a magnifying glass on all of your actions and words. Anything you did would then reflect on Kenma.

What if you messed something up and then Kenma lost viewers? Would they try to cancel you or him for it?

You backed away from all the negative thoughts before you could spiral and looked at the metaphorical 'pro' column.

If you agreed to appear on his stream, you would no longer have to sneak around your house in fear of being heard or showing up in his face cam. You both wouldn't have to feel guilty playing games off-camera with each other because you knew Kenma could be streaming it instead.

And who knew? Maybe his fans would like you. You had to admit, it would be a nice ego boost knowing that you were accepted by so many people.

And, most importantly: you could physically ask him in person what he wanted for dinner instead of texting him and waiting an hour for a break so he could respond, while you sat in the next room, starving, stuck in an endless cycle of wondering whether you should make a snack or if you should just hold off for dinner.

Maybe this was a good idea.

"Okay,” you decided, “I'll do it."

"Oh... alright. Cool." Kenma was trying his hardest not to show how excited he was that you agreed. When he saw the contemplative look on your face, he was sure you would decide that it'd just be too much work and say no. But hearing you agree made him giddier than he would ever admit to.

Despite the cool and collected façade he thought he was putting on, you saw the smile that threatened to break through and the red tips of his ears. You wondered if he felt the same weight being lifted off his shoulders as you did, knowing that, after this weekend, you'd both be finally out as an official couple to the world.

And, of course, the nausea of having to do all of it live in front of thousands of people. No biggie.

Saturday afternoon came and at 12pm sharp, Kenma began his grueling 24-hour charity stream. The bar had an overall goal of $150,000, and it began filling up at a constant pace right from the start. Donations ranging from $5 to $500 were flowing in rapidly, and you were trying your best not to feel nervous.

You both agreed that if he reached $50,000 within 5 hours, you would join him for an hour or two of Minecraft later that night. Part of you hoped that the donations would slow down and plateau for a bit, but when you saw Kuroo had donated $1000, specifically with the message that he hoped to see you on stream soon, you realized that it was a pipe dream.

So, you had to be your own hype person for now, to get prepared to show your face to thousands of people and not disappoint Kenma.

Whether it was the promise of your face reveal or the people who genuinely adored charity, it took only four hours for Kenma to break $50,000.

When he saw the number update live on stream, the viewers witnessed the most amount of expression Kenma had ever shown: eyes wide as saucers, mouth slightly agape, body frozen. You could see the gears struggling inside his head struggling to turn and comprehend what they all managed to do so early on in the stream.

"Thanks so much, everyone, for being so generous today... I guess this means we'll be having my partner on later tonight," he announced. You watched his chat explode with excitement, his special emotes flying in the chat.

You picked up your phone to shoot Kenma a quick text.

[you]:: hope you're ready to put our minecraft beds together in front of thousands of people 😏

Unsurprisingly, he left you on read. But dating him for this long meant you weren't even a little bit afraid of double or triple texting.

[you]:: maybe we can kiss under the light of an exploding creeper 😫

[you]:: or have a romantic walk through our rainbow sheep while a phantom looms overhead 🥰

It was after the third text when you finally saw him pick up his phone to text you back. You eagerly awaited his response, only to cackle when you read it.

[my sugar daddy]:: im going to replace you with hinata as my partner if you dont stop

Instead of annoying him any further, you set your phone to charge on your nightstand and went into the bathroom to get ready for the stream later.

Once you emerged, you picked up your phone to check the percentage and noticed a text from Kenma stating that he'd have you on at 8pm. You decided to spend the time until then cooking up some dinner for the both of you.

It seemed like time flew by because by the time you were done eating your food, it was 7:45pm. Only fifteen more minutes before you were live in front of all of Kenma's supporters. You refilled your water bottle and sat on the couch, staring at the blank T.V. as you practically dissociated from reality until Kenma came out of his office to retrieve you.

You noticed that he looked just as nervous as you did, despite his face not showing it the way yours did. His shoulders were up to his ears with tension, and his hoodie drawstring was pulled almost all the way through due to him fiddling with it.

He turned briefly to you after he brought you into his office, gesturing to make sure you knew to wait until he gave you the cue. He sat down, unmuted himself, and took down the 'away' screen he had for his audience.

This was it. Everything was going to change in literally ten seconds.

"Well, everyone...please welcome my partner, (Y/N)."

You walked cautiously around his large gaming chair and sat next to him in your modest desk chair that he had rolled into the room for the occasion.

Okay, you thought to yourself, now don't fuck this up.

"Hi, everyone."

Nailed it.

There was a painful moment of silence before the stream finally caught up, and you both heaved a sigh of relief when you saw nothing but declarations of excitement. Amongst the 'AHHHs' and spam of emotes were sweet comments about your appearance and how cute you two looked as a couple. You peeked over at Kenma and saw the ghost of a smile on his lips, elated to know that he was just as relieved as you were.

"Okay, let's start with the gameplay while we answer some questions," he said.

The questions and gameplay started out mild; when did you both start dating, how did you meet, who asked the other out first. They even asked a few simple questions about you specifically, like your favorite anime and your star sign. And while you did see a few bans in the chat after some inappropriate questions –no, you will not tell them the color of your underwear– most were easy and simple enough to answer.

Then they started to get a bit spicier.

"Bokutoslefttit donated $69.69 and asked, 'what is your main pet peeve with Kenma?'" he read, muttering a 'wow' under his breath at the username.

"Ooh, how can I be polite when exposing you?" you pondered while beating a cow to death with your sword. "It's probably how loud he gets whenever he's playing games with his good headphones on."

"I don't get loud," he defended.

"Oh yeah, you do. I've had to come in here several times to tell you to shut up like I'm your mother. I did it literally two days ago when you were playing with Lev."

"... Next question."

You rolled your eyes at his lack of comment but glanced over at the chat to pull up a new question. You stifled a laugh when you read, "Girlboss420 asked 'who has a fatter ass, Kuroo or (Y/N)?'"

"I'm not answering that."

"Come oooon, this is a Q&A. Can't have the Q’s without the A’s."

"Nope."

You were about to start reprimanding him for implying that Kuroo's ass was fatter than yours when you noticed he ran past you with a group of pillagers following closely behind. You turned to head into the house but when you opened the door, you noticed it was blocked off by obsidian.

"You are the absolute worst!" you exclaimed.

You made a break for it, sprinting past the shooting pillagers and around to the front of the house. You made it inside with only 2 hearts to spare. You turned, in real life, to Kenma to see him tight-lipped to avoid smiling about his betrayal.

"I'm moving my bed downstairs for the rest of the stream."

You both carried on with the stream without another incident, turning to the chat every now and again to answer some questions. Kenma even apologized to you by bringing home a horse that was named "I'm sorry."

It was about an hour and a half after you sat down when Kenma decided that he needed a bathroom break. Your heart fell to your ass when you realized that you'd be all alone to entertain his chat. You considered saying that you needed to pee as well, if it meant not having the spotlight on you.

Instead, when he got up to pee, you smiled and asked him to bring you back a snack and a refill. Oh, how the turns have tabled.

In the meantime, you decided to scroll through the chat and some of the donations to pick out another question to answer since Kenma was gone. You were initially looking for a funny or vulgar comment when you saw one that had a completely different vibe.

"Kermithateblog donated $25.00 and asked, 'what's your favorite part about being with Kenma?' Wow, that's a really sweet question. Let me think for a moment."

You paused to reflect on your relationship with Kenma over the two years you’d been together. You'd had your fair share of highs and lows like any other couple, but, in the end, you both learned how to work things out so you were both equally as happy in the relationship.

"So, as you guys know, he's a busy boy with streaming, creating content for YouTube, and also being a CEO of his own company, which all takes up the majority of his time," you began. "But when he finally can shut off his screens and crawls into bed late at night, I know that he's 100% there with me at that moment. He is able to give me his undivided attention and make me feel like his love for me comes above his love for gaming."

You gave a pause, trying not to get too emotional. You rarely got the chance to gush about Kenma because you knew how much he hated having attention on him, so if this was going to be your only opportunity to do so for a while, then you were going to take it.

"What y'all don't know is that he is the biggest baby when it comes to cuddling," you laughed. "He is absolutely the little spoon most of the time, and he loves when I stroke his hair and love on him all night. In a weird way, it makes me feel special and loved knowing that he trusts me enough to be vulnerable with me. I cherish the amount of time we have together because of that."

What you didn't know was that he had come back from refilling your water bottle rather quickly and stood outside the doorway to hear your speech. His heart almost burst when he heard your tender words describing how he made you feel. He knew that you rarely got to hear how much those quiet moments at night meant to him because he was guarded with his feelings.

Which is why he started into the room on a mission.

You smiled as soon as you saw him. "Welcome back, babe, we were just talking about--"

He approached you swiftly and leaned down to press a gentle kiss on your forehead. You hardly even got to bask in the moment before he was pulling away, setting down your water bottle as he sat back down with his controller in hand like he didn't just expose to his audience how much of a softy he really was.

It was in that moment when you realized how glad you were that you’d decided to appear on stream because you'd be able to look back at that clip over and over again to relive the intimate moment.

Noon on Sunday came at last. Kenma would finally be free from the prison of his office. Not to mention he could finally get off his ass and stretch.

Between your official appearance on stream and the sign-off, you popped in a few more times to say hello to the chat when you brought him some snacks and drinks. You stayed up through most of the night, although you accidentally napped for a few hours during the dead of night which gave you a little boost in energy.

In the end, the stream was a monumental success. Kenma had even managed to blow past his goal of $150k and make it to over $200k, which meant that he'd be getting the full e-body makeover for his next week of streams.

By the time Kenma came into your bedroom after freshening up and having a small snack, you were already dead asleep with your laptop propped open to show his now offline stream.

He tip-toed around the bed quietly, closed your laptop, pulled the covers up and over your curled-up body, and slipped in himself. As he settled, he felt you shift and grab at his worn t-shirt, opening your eyes slightly just to confirm that it's him.

He pulled you against his chest tightly, his body finally able to relax. He was sure it wouldn't be too long before he completely fell out.

"That was more fun than I thought it'd be," he heard you utter quietly.

"I'm glad you enjoyed yourself." His fingers gently danced across your shoulder blades as you mushed your face into his clean shirt. "I can't believe we raised so much today so quickly."

"I'm so proud of you, baby. You worked so hard on this."

"I also donated $2000 anonymously to speed up the process," he mumbled sheepishly, pressing a gentle kiss on the crown of your head in hopes to lessen the blow of his secret.

It was quiet for a moment, and he wondered if he’d genuinely pissed you off before he felt the vibrations from your laugh against his chest.

"...I can't wait to ruin your hair, e-boy."

Written by: Luna

#kenma x reader #kenma kozume x reader #haikyuu x reader #kenma imagines #haikyuu imagines #kenma x y/n #kenma x you #haikyu x reader #haikyuu!! x reader #hq x reader #haikyuu #haikyuu!!#our writing #kenma fluff #haikyuu fluff #luna writes

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