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possibly-not-a-ghost · 12 days

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Wriothesley and Arlecchino

Okay but can we talk about Wriothesley and Arlecchino for a second because I am bouncing off the walls thinking about the two of them in relation to each other.

Spoilers for Wriothesley's story quest and voice lines below!

Recently, I've been thinking about how isolated Wriothesley is in terms of characters and how much or how little would change if he were not to exist or be a designated playable character. I love that man don't get me wrong but I was was just thinking about why he was made into something of such importance. Literally, he's in an underwater prison and they could've had an NPC warden with the same traits. Figuratively, we know he has a very dubious ability to trust as seen is voice line.

I've managed to get myself to a pretty comfortable place in life, but there's still some things I want that are outside my reach, like a peaceful and happy childhood, or the ability to trust other people. - More About Wriothesley: V

Anyways after watching the trailer with Arlecchino, I was struck with how much Wriothesley and Arlecchino both parallel each other or perhaps could even serve as each other's foils depending on how Arle's lore will change upon release!

Both were orphans. Each had siblings they were raised and some of which did not survive. Both killed their parental figures while young. But whereas Wriothesley was convicted and exiled for his crimes, Arlecchino was pardoned and not only that but her crimes were 'rewarded' with the title as Harbinger. (I use reward in a dubious sense as we don't know how she felt about her inherited title yet or if she was more or less thrust into it with no real agency in the matter.)

She was given a new name, Wriothesley chose his and discarded the one his adopted parents gave him.

God, even the start of the short when "Mother" is telling a story to the children we see how the future where they'd be pitted against each other but through their eyes. The colors are soft and bright. It's a child-like rendition of the brutal reality that Arle would later be faced with.

During Wriothesley's story quest, we learn the full extent of his backstory. He was being fostered by a couple who seemed perfectly lovely and loving but the truth of the matter was that they were trafficking the children under their care. That, or 'disposing' of them if they were useless or found out the truth. To use a veneer of love, of kindness and safety and that have that shattered in the most brutal of betrayals. Sounds familiar, huh?

"They did all of that, but never considered how their actions would utterly ruin all the children they took under their wing. Worse, perhaps they never cared about that at all."

—But I did.

Wriothesley, who took extreme actions and murdered his foster parents so the other children could live and be free, shouldering that sin.

Arlecchino who presumably had her siblings blood on her hands. Who had no siblings left but murdered "Mother" anyways. (I'm not entirely sold that her friend didn't throw herself on Arle's sword but nvm) and once alone, was placed back into that cycle that made her as we see her today in the first place.

Do I ship them? Do I want them to be found family? Enemies? Distant acquaintances? YESS I just want to see them interact with each other, hoyo please.

#Arlecchino #Wriothesley #genshin impact #genshin #genshin spoilers #I am bouncing off the walls I am skittering up them I am foaming at the mouth and have broken containment #I'm sure there's even more stuff that can be drawn between the two of them now time to rewatch all of Wriothesley's content in prep for her #Ok i do kinda ship them but i just want them to be together because i find their possibilities fascinating!!#rook posts stuff

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sssusuki · 4 months

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All-in Analysis

I haven't done one of these in awhile so give me a moment to collect myself because. did u know i love women.

With that out of the way I believe it's appropriate to begin. All-in is Hyuna's round as well as her introduction, and already have many of us been proven wrong. In the discord we have been theorizing that maybe Hyuna was a brave, yet quiet type. Or a mature type, and yet this has all been wrong to an extent. She is wild and bold, contrasting the ideas we had, but she is still mature to an extent. Especially if you look into the video to which I have done and will explain now because I'm delusional.

This begins with her wanted poster as well as a shot of the outside world. It's a desert with minimal flora or fauna as the wanted poster glides through the air. These first few shots also give us information on how this rebellion kidnaps rich alien's and takes everything they have. They also revealed, though not verbally, they have a base. While this was quietly mentioned at the end of Mizisua, it is more prevalent here as humans are here in numbers as Hyuna begins to perform on her little stage.

One of the biggest things we see first is Hyuna's prosthetic. Which, while it was foreshadowed in her full body when Till's round first released, it seems to have gone through some updates as it is no longer thin and brittle but a strong metal that looks just as big as if she had her normal leg. It also seems important to note that they are filming some video as shown by the details in this part as they show off our beloved Mizi. This would indicate that they have some degree of power if they have the ability to not only have the equipment necessary to film a video, but also have the power to make stuff like this: propaganda basically. Now, we finally see how Mizi and it's clear she has been put through the wringer. She is wearing much more practical clothing now as well as more modest which I believe should be mentioned. Alongside this there is a frame where we meet this blonde boy. Though he is unnamed for now I found it utterly fascinating that Hyuna trusts him to the extent she does and he looks quite similar to Luka. There also seems to be a little kid on the left poking their head out.

Now to the big parts. It seems the rebellion has been planning on storming Alien Stage for awhile, and only now during Luka's round was it possible which, I'm going to get to that later. Besides this, these few frames aren't much to give information on other than that the rebellion is not only quite popular, but it's also violent. To what extent? To what they are bombing? I don't know, it's all fictional dude.

Another important thing to note is that Hyuna is bringing along Mizi to all of this, which is a bit odd if taken into literal consideration. However, I'm going to touch on this later because I think it has some very interesting theories.

After this we cut back to her making the video again where she is doing a strip tease as her blonde friend goads her on and reacts to it. There is a poster of World War in the back that you can see for a few seconds that I found quite fascinating. So, while the aliens consider them a minimal threat, they already want a world war.

Finally, we get to our first real Hyuna lore. Here she sits in Anakt Garden, leg still intact with a boy who looks just like her and Luka who is licking the sleeve of his shirt. Now the way Hyuna has this handled could be taken a few different ways. She is holding Luka's head to push him away or she is holding his head so he stays close. Considering Hyuna's quite affection nature thus far I am led to believe it is the latter but one can never be sure and it's interesting that despite all of this, Luka is led to such extremes with his affection and emotions.

We get back to Hyuna, fully grown. We have two shots here. Her in this space station of sorts that I can only assume is a gateway between worlds and specifically the one with Alien Stage. And then it cuts back to another where she is singing on that stage, entertaining the humans in her group. I find it a little funny how this mimics Alien Stage in a way. Here is where her blonde friend breaks through the window and attacks the aliens as Hyuna rushes past with Mizi and we finally see Luka again. This time, he is older, smiling, and Hyuna looks enraged for the first time. She isn't smiling or laughing, but her face is oddly neutral. A rarity we have come to see in this round. We see Hyuna continuing to sing, but as she does she remembers Luka, and suddenly her whole air of confidence and strength is shattered. She is scared, if not terrified of the boy. Why? He kissed her and then killed her brother the morning after? Perhaps there is something more. However this also confirms that Luka got his purple fingers from blunt force trauma.

Finally we cut back to Hyuna now, and she is being apprehended by the aliens as she gazes back at Luka. Like he is bidding her goodbye into the afterlife with her brother. Mizi then gets up and looks back at her. Cinematically? This is perfect. Hyuna thinks she has hit rock bottom and suddenly Mizi rises from the ground like a Phoenix with her hair. Remember how I talked about it being weird for Hyuna to bring along Mizi? Well, this could be because not only does she know the Alien Stage quite well, but also that if they are planning on breaking another one out (Till maybe) they would need someone familiar. Mizi was going to be nothing more than a pawn until this moment where she grabs the gun, gets shot at, and her hair is cut. Mizi has transformed, and not just physically. She shoots at the aliens as Hyuna looks at her, Luka haunting her in the background. Then, she walks forward, away from Luka, and to Mizi. She is more important than Hyuna thought. The two escape through the elevator as Mizi once again regains a little bit of sanity and screams as they get shot at. Mizi has unknowingly given Hyuna confidence and strength again after coming face to face with Luka. Here they finally get to the Alien Stage opening and Hyuna gives Mizi a kiss. A thank you.

Finally, we see Till hitting the board as it does him and Ivan's round. A grim reminder of what is coming next. I could go into what I am thinking for that round but for now I am focusing on All-in and Hyuna.

Finally, I have to say Hyuna is a great character. She is brave and bold, albeit a bit wild. Yet she is caring and compassionate with the people around her. She is a bit flirtatious but it comes from a place of platonic affection, and finally, she isn't someone indestructible. She is still scared at the end of it all, especially to Luka. We have yet to see how they will play out but I am certainly excited for them to come face to face if Hyuna is scared— no, terrified, by a photo and Luka, if theories are a little correct, makes a song wholly talking about her (Ruler of my Heart). Okay I'm blasting byeere

#alien stage #vivinos #alnst #cygnus writes #a swan writes #🦢 writes #swan speaks #hyuna #mizi #hyuka

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laceratedlamiaceae · 9 months

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Izzy and Trust

I want to talk about Izzy and trust because I was talking about it with my therapist and projecting onto my blorbos helps me process because I think there's a lot to say about it.

As I have regrettably been made aware recently, trust is essential for forming meaningful connections with other people; why would anyone want to be vulnerable with someone they don't trust not to exploit that vulnerability? And, as I have even more regrettably been made aware recently, having close, meaningful relationships with other people is unfortunately very important for one's mental and emotional well-being.

Izzy is surrounded by pirates and pirates are, generally speaking, not trustworthy. It's safe to assume that he's learned, whether through harsh experience or observation, that he can't trust people (with the exception of Ed--more on that later), and he was right. Our Flag Means Death is set in a comedic world, but the show itself states that pirate culture is "a culture of abuse," along with whatever else Stede says in the first episode. In the environment Izzy has lived in, trust and vulnerability are dangerous and can only lead to harm, and he's been right to avoid them so forcefully.

As a brief aside, the reason Ed is able to so easily open up to Stede is because he isn't making himself very vulnerable by doing so--he's the biggest, baddest pirate on the seas and Stede is just some guy who doesn't know what he's doing, so he isn't risking much by trusting Stede not to use his feelings against him, and Stede would be an idiot to try--Ed could easily destroy him, even if we as the audience know he wouldn't. Izzy, on the other hand, doesn't have that same reputation to protect him.

Trust comes from a sense of belonging (at least, that's what my therapist tells me). Izzy very obviously does not belong on the revenge, so he never has a chance to develop trust in the crew. This isn't an immutable fact--Fang, coming from the same crew as Izzy, is welcomed by the crew of the Revenge (Lucius in particular) and is able to open up fairly quickly, but Izzy doesn't get the same reception.

Izzy may have belonged on Blackbeard's crew to some extent, but even aside from the fact that it was a crew that actively pushed the idea that vulnerability was to be avoided ("the love of a pet makes a man weak," for example), as first mate he was alienated from the others by virtue of being their superior. It's easier to trust an equal than to trust your manager, and belonging to a workplace is different than belonging to a friend group.

Izzy does trust Ed; he's able to openly voice his feelings, even if they are usually ignored, and he believes that Ed will follow through on his promise to kill Stede long after it's become clear to the audience that he won't. This trust comes from Izzy feeling like he belongs with Ed; most of what he does throughout the season is to ensure that he can continue to be with him.

As of the end of season one, Ed violated that trust in an extreme way by entering Izzy's room while he was asleep (the most blatantly vulnerable it's possible for someone to be) and, well, you know what happened next. We briefly get to see Izzy trying to pretend like everything is alright, but it's unclear how long he'll be able to keep up that shallow facade. In season two, Izzy will likely be even more isolated and unable to trust than ever.

One other factor I feel is worth mentioning is that being neurodivergent or mentally ill makes it very difficult for a person to feel like they belong anywhere. Obviously it's impossible to diagnose Izzy with anything for certain, considering that he's a fictional character, but there has been a lot of meta already written analyzing his character from this perspective and it isn't difficult to imagine him with something like autism or anxiety.

I, personally, have anxiety and I see a lot of myself in Izzy. I've always felt like an outsider, even around fellow queer people who I would think I should get along with. Even when I do manage to get marginally close to someone, I'm always on the alert for them to leave or turn on me for doing or saying the wrong thing, and I always make sure to never give them too much of myself so I don't get too hurt. I bring all this up to say that I see all of that in Izzy as well, and I can't fault him for it.

All it takes is a few bad experiences for someone to withdraw like that, and it's hard to stop once you've started. If you've learned to feel like trusting people inevitably leads to betrayal, even if you know that logically that isn't true, why would you ever risk it again? But if you don't take that risk, you can't ever unlearn that belief, and so you just stay withdrawn forever.

What Izzy needs is to find a place he belongs--a place with people he can relate to, where he feels safe and included. Then he can begin the gradual process of learning to trust people, and maybe eventually he can open up and make friends. I'd imagine that if this were to happen, given the fact that Izzy is a secondary character and this show has a pretty short runtime, that it'll happen with the crew of the Revenge.

This is where I would explain how I see that happening, but to be honest I don't. I can only imagine it happening with a new group of people (ideally ones who haven't tried to kill him) who are more like him in terms of personality and aesthetics--more "traditional" pirates, by the standards of the show. Who knows, maybe his role will be expanded, maybe it'll happen offscreen, or maybe the writers will manage to pull it off with the crew of the revenge.

Or maybe Izzy will never learn to trust people and he'll just get worse and then die, but I'm going to choose to ignore that possibility.

#our flag means death #ofmd #izzy hands #ofmd meta

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landoftheway · 11 months

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With the latest GG Strive patch I’ve seen a lot of takes on Happy Chaos’ new dialogue with Baiken boiling it down to him just not finding her to be a good source of drama, and while I think that’s an element of his discomfort around her I also think the real source of it runs deeper.

We know from Another Story, Baiken’s arcade run, and her theme song that she and her blade have effectively become “mirrors” for the people she faces. One of Chaos’s new intros with also refers to this:

Chaos: "I've never seen an eye like that before."

Baiken: "That's 'cause I've never seen one like you before."

In this case, her eye as Chaos perceives it is different (and from his tone of voice some degree of uncomfortable) specifically because of what Baiken is seeing with it when she looks at him. And I think this is precisely where Chaos’ discomfort lies: having to look at himself. He outright says to Asuka in one of their intros that “You know I have no interest in myself”, and in the Main Story when driving with I-No he tells her that “I don’t even have a self to lose sight of.” That last statement is of particular importance because it’s more or less the crux of his character: The Original was so buried under all the combined information of the Backyard that he was warped into what he is now, a being composed of nothing but the sum total of humanity’s collective desires.

But here’s the thing: Chaos DOES still have a sense of self. As muddled as his memories are he can still recall specifics of his past with Asuka and clearly has a particular attachment to him as his student, and even if his methodology has drastically changed he’s still ultimately working for what he considers the benefit of humanity. The Original is still there underneath all the noise, but Chaos clearly doesn’t want to acknowledge that presence. As for the why of that, I think Baiken says it best with three of her unique taunts against him, the first two being in the game and the third being cut content you can only find by digging through the files (you can hear it and other special dialogue here for those curious):

“Forgetting’s your thing; feelings, memories, everything. But what’s left of you when they’re gone? Forgetting’s the only way to embrace the chaos inside you. Can’t fathom what that’s like. But I bet I’m the last one you wanna meet.”

“Scared of yourself? Huh, same here.”

“My blade can’t touch those who don’t doubt themselves. But you... you’ve rejected yourself entirely. But your reason for being holds firm. Something keeps you tethered, but what? How can you possibly win? What do you hold in your heart? Atonement, salvation, ruin? Hope, desire, equilibrium? You’re prepared for all of it? I hate to admit it, but you’re fighting your own battle. That can’t be easy, being nobody’s friend or foe, not having anyone to rely on. You didn’t choose your path, so why accept it? Why take on this eternal curse? Don’t tell me I’m the only one who can save you...”

So all of that is still kinda vague, but I think it paints a clear enough picture of why Chaos doesn’t like or even want to acknowledge himself: his self as The Original is to some extent incompatible with his existence as Happy Chaos. Maybe it’s the former’s guilt at the more extreme and reprehensible actions of the latter, maybe it’s that their interpretations of what’s best for humanity have just drifted that far apart, or maybe it’s just fear at what looking back at how much he’s changed might do to him. Either way, it seems pretty clear to me that the big reason Chaos wants to stay far away from Baiken is because whenever he looks at her he has to look at himself, and as he says if he beats her in a fight, “Win or lose, there's nothing in it for me. This is the worst.”

#under a read-more for length #hey what a shock i have a fair bit to say about my 2 favorite gg characters #guilty gear #happy chaos #baiken

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presidentofthelipglossclub · 7 months

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Rescue Bots: Heavily neurodivergent vibes as someone who is neurodivergent myself. I personally see Blades having ADHD. My mech speaks and gets sidetracked often. However, he also is quite inquisitive about anything and everything.

The 'Bots overthink everything.

It usually is just because they are aliens on a planet, but rather they are not aware of how to act around certain people or even people in general.

I wholeheartedly agree that Chase seems calm externally, but in reality his Processor is aching with thoughts about every little thing. He will take an interest and notice every fragging thing, but he would never actually try them out. . . unless?

He makes lists. He makes lists of everything.

Boulder is oh so gentle. He loves and cares for everything. He has this fear that something may go wrong, and the reason would be because of him. He thinks—no, believes— if something goes wrong or someone is hurt, that he could somehow have overcome it. He has anxiety, so he draws to render his Processor elsewhere.

Heatwave is very uptight, but the 'Bot has a good Spark. He has some form of PTSD based on the war. In many different adaptations in the comics, he always seemed to have that harsh characteristic, but he is genuinely loving. He is just terrified that something may occur.

Blurr feels left out. It is the worst feeling. He thinks he is left out. That could be another form of PTSD as well, so he always attempts to get people's approval; despite the fact he cannot control his speaking patterns in different continuities. (I apologise if this offends anyone-)

thank u sm, sorry this has taken so long for me to respond!!

alright so first off blades gets very very emotionally invested/involved in little things. he cares too much about things being perfect. he also gets distracted pretty quickly.

chase takes everything way too seriously. he doesn't know how to interact with others in a calm environment without being extremely stilted/awkward. he also overthinks, but does a decent job of regulating it in most situations.

boulder has so much love and passion. he wears his heart on his sleeve, and gets hurt very easily. he's nice to everyone, and doesn't know how to react when people are mean to him. he's also very forgiving, which has lead to him getting betrayed repeatedly.

heatwave only feels emotions in the extremes, and one at a time. he can't regulate himself very well, and has a hard time recognizing self-destructive behavior. he has a disdain for authority figures (including optimus to an extent) and has gotten in trouble over that often.

blurr either tries too hard or doesn't try at all. he's very impulsive at an extreme level, which has hurt him and others around him. while he's getting better about it, the tendency to go first, think later will never really leave him.

salvage can get very apathetic. he loves being around the other bots and the humans, but sometimes he just doesn't feel anything. he has low empathy but his respect and compassion make up for it. his collections are very important to him, and he gets defensive about that.

hightide has ptsd. he doesn't trust anyone and can't express positive emotions like, at all. he's very afraid of change, and gets overwhelmed by others. it's why he tends to stay by himself, and doesn't make many friends.

quickshadow has empathy, but because of her work she has learned to repress it. she doesn't connect well with others, and similar to hightide prefers to be alone. this is mostly self preservation, as she does get very lonely.

hope my response suffices!! send me an ask whenever you wanna talk about rescue bots, or anything else :D

#tfrb #rescue bots #transformers

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soupthatistohot · 2 years

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Soukokou: "good" and "bad"

I made a thread about this on twitter not long ago, but I thought it was worth making post here too since tumblr is a bit of a better platform for analyses like this.

Dazai and Chuuya are particularly interesting, because they’re both similar and opposite of each other. They’re similar in that they both grew up in an awful environment that forced them to mature too quickly which causes them to find their fun in petty squabbling with one another as sort of a way of reclaiming their adolescence. They’re similar in that they both question their true humanity, albeit for different reasons. They’re similar in that they’re both extremely competent and capable at such a young age and work so well together, even when they have these opposing views.

But they're very different in many ways, and what particularly fascinates me is that when you look at their base character traits... it seems like each of them is on the wrong side.

Chuuya is compassionate, ridiculously powerful, and loyal. Yes, he can be arrogant and hot-headed, but this doesn't make him evil or bad, they're just flaws that many humans have. You look at these traits and it almost seems like he could be your stereotypical hero... but he is not. Chuuya works for the Port Mafia, the "bad guys" of BSD. It's simply circumstance that brought him there, he isn't necessarily at fault for this, but part of me believes that if things had shook out differently, Chuuya would make a great "good guy".

Now you look at Dazai's traits: cunning, manipulative and somewhat self-absorbed. He has a tendency to be quite heartless and cruel at times, and this is not to say that Chuuya hasn't either, but I think that Dazai really takes it to another level. The best example I can give of this is that scene in 15 when he's just shooting that corpse and Chuuya has to stop him. While we obviously know that Dazai has changed since he left the Port Mafia, he still displays many of these "villainous" traits, even as he works for the side of "good." It's also worth mentioning that his main reason for turning over this new leaf was not some drastic moral shift, but because someone he loved and respected told him to. Granted, I do truly believe that the more time Dazai spends at the Agency, the more he actually improves as a person, and the more his work becomes about actually helping people rather than respecting Oda's wishes, but I still think it's important to point out that originally his motives were not motivated by some sense of any moral duty.

So this is what fascinates me about soukoku, whether as a ship or even just as a pair of people -- Chuuya works for the "bad guys" but has many traits of a "good guy" and Dazai works for the "good guys" and has many traits of a "bad guy".

And you'll notice that throughout this I've been saying "good" and "bad" in quotations, and that kinda ties in with what I'm talking about. Because pretty much every single character in BSD is morally grey to some extent. No one is 100% for one side or the other, and especially as the series progresses and we see the ADA and PM work together towards common goals, this is made very clear. And I do think this all ties in with soukoku being on the opposite sides of what you'd think they'd be.

BSD makes very clear that a person's circumstances influence the person they become. For Atsushi, being raised in an orphanage by abusive adults made it so his self value is rooted in what he can do for others, with little regard for himself. For Akutagawa, being mentored by Dazai when Dazai was at his worst version of himself meant that he was raised to be even more cruel and ruthless, not caring much for the lives of others. And we even see in BEAST (which I have not read for myself) that these roles can be flipped to a certain extent given different circumstances. In a different world Atsushi joins the PM and Akutagawa joins the ADA, even if their characters at their core still kind of line up with their affiliations in the main canon universe.

(I've also made a twitter thread about said circumstances in the main canon, the cycle of abuse in the PM and how the ADA helps certain characters heal, and maybe I'll make a more extensive tumblr post about that at a later date.)

Anyway I don't really have any big conclusion, this is just my analysis of Dazai and Chuuya, and I think part of the reason I love skk as a ship and BSD as a whole. It's certainly not a perfect series, but the characters and their relationships are so complex and it's so fun to talk about! If you have anything to add, please feel free to do so :)

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clippy · 1 year

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okay this is just gonna be a bunch of rambling so feel free to ignore this cuz it's mostly just me kinda venting and Processing feelings abt being objecto into the void

like okay. i am in a spot where i think i have a very complex relationship w my objecto-ness because of how it is currently manifesting itself in regards to the Clockboy Crush

like in the past, my main crushes that i would consider like, important, and in recent enough memory that they still affect me today, were

Clippy (who is a fictional character; he is sentient in his source but, again, fictional, so he cannot reciprocate feelings)

and Miles (my old car; a real object, but one that I owned and therefore i could essentially project whatever relationship i wanted onto us. realistically, i know he couldnt reciprocate, as he was not sentient irl, but something about him made it seem like he did love me back in a way. it's very complex and hard to explain to literally anyone who doesnt have my brain)

in both of their cases, i would selfship with them, draw them, personify them in certain ways, and have gijinkas of them

i think some extra context that is important is that the relationship i had with Miles is VERY different than the one i have w my current car, Lawrence, who has different vibes to me. like i genuinely get the feeling he only just. tolerates me. lmfao. he is so sexy to me but like, we do not gel like how me and miles did. (which again, is a weird thing to think about and kinda disproves the "oh objectos only want to be with objects because they cant reject them!" mindset in my case like bro why would i "headcanon" my car as not thinking im a sex god he's madly in love with)

anyway this is where the clockboy stuff gets. complex. like. OBVIOUSLY. i have a huge crush on him. i selfship w his objecthead design, and that does extend to his irl version to an extent. obviously, again, i realistically know irl he cannot reciprocate the feelings i have toward him

however... similar to miles, i do get a Vibe from him. there's been some coincidences that seem so specific that it's like. hard to shake that it's not something deeper... and again, i know deep down it's all in my head but at the same time... my hyper empathy toward inanimate objects has always made me instinctively think that most objects have *some* sort of soul.

it's all so complicated and confusing and hard to explain and it's two sides of my brain fighting each other at all times over this. i dont think either side is fully right.

and what sucks is like, when it's about Miles, it's easy to keep to myself and on the down low in a way. i was the only person on earth who would have possibly loved him in that way.... but Clockboy falls into public object territory. while the odds are low that anyone else feels the exact same way toward him, it's not impossible

im not like... opposed to the idea of "sharing" a public object but it's a really complex thing to me. like for him specifically, however, it makes me uncomfortable and i dont... understand why. jealousy is probably the closest word to what i would feel but it doesnt seem entirely accurate.

ive been extremely fortunate to see him irl more lately, and have had a couple experiences that i cant fully disclose (for privacy reasons. nothing weird, i promise. like if i got to be any physically closer than any other guest to him, you would already know it by now. but, just know i have connections and dont want to jeopardize things for anyone lol). like i mentioned there's just been a vibe to him. like part of me does think it is something deeper. but then i question if it's something he would do for anyone else... it's so hard to know.

i'd like to think im special to him, somehow. if he can feel that way about people. he is special to ME, and i just wish i could tell him and have him know it. i would give almost anything to have like, 2 minutes of back and forth communication between us to make sure he knows that.

at the end of the day i know none of that really matters and i should do what makes me happy. like spending time near him is "enough" for me i guess. i know i will never get to be any closer to him than someone standing near him in the queue line. i can never have any form of intimacy with him, no form of privacy. i will never get to own him in a way that lets me be with him everyday in a way that would "matter"

anyway i know this like. is not "normal person" behavior and i know this isn't like. entirely healthy mindsets to have. 90% of the time i dont even like, think about this stuff this deeply but it's on the mind tonight...

im not trying to like, compliment fish or anything, but the reason im posting it is i guess if any of my objecto followers have any like. words of advice or reassurance or something about public objects i wouldnt mind if u sent them my way

(also im kinda in therapy again so if i post this here, if it starts eating away at me, i can find my Thoughts again to read to my therapist if i ever tell her im objecto lmfao)

#vent / kinda #like i said. this is a rambly mess #unpacking some brain baggage about objecto shit #i genuinely wish i had more concise words about this stuff...#also i mention in there abt other objectos reaching out...#...and that's kinda who i would prefer reaching out. i dont think non-objecto ppl can like. fully grasp this #if u can. great. if u cant. i get it lol #also also i mention intimacy w/ a certain something and i promise on my life i am not implying anything more than like. making out w it and #even that is a bit of a stretch.#the sex part of objectosexuality for this Thing is like. nonexistent.#anyway. hi. sorry for oversharing. i was unmedicated for 24 hrs #and this is what happens i guess.#time for bed now

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eureka-its-zico · 7 months

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Hiiiiiii, it's me, Gouda 🧀 anon, but I am not on anon! lol I sorted out my Trumblr from all the cringy shit from years ago finally so I don't have to be embarrassed what I have on here haha (I saw you said you've been on Tumblr since 2015, well I've been on here since probably 2009 and yeah... Had to go down the memory lane and it was a bit cringe 😂)

I saw your message that Chapter 4 will be posted tonight and the giddy feelings that I felt, boy oh boy... Could barely contain myself in my chair!

This has been such a lovely update! It was amazing to see more interactions between Doc and Zoro. And his POV is just *chef's kiss*. It really helps to see that there's more to each of them than the other sees. And honestly, Zoro is being stupid because he can fulfil his promise and still get Doc so... *side eye* lol

I am honestly so curious to see what you have planned going forward: with Doc and Straw Hats AND Doc and Zoro. And if you grace us with even more Zoro POV to see his inner battle - I will devour it 😂

Also, I have to say - him bringing the beer and him bringing back the flower as an apology were one of my favourite parts in this chapter. Especially this one:

What he wouldn’t tell you, is because they only grew at certain times and usually in the snow, it made them one of the most resilient flowers because they could grow under any conditions.

ALSO, oh my God, this interaction in particular too:

“What do I gotta do to hear one of these world-famous Doc jokes?” He waited until his face was neutral to look back at you. Both hands rested on his swords as he watched you fill the bottle to the brim and place it securely inside your satchel. “For that kind of service? You have to be dying.”

We know what happens later and now I will wait with baited breath for doesn't matter how many chapters to see whether Doc actually says that joke 😂

I also love the ending, the fact that Nami is considerate enough to offer for Doc something to wear. It's a small interaction though I would think that it gives them a small part to bond to some extent ❤

As always, an amazing update and I am so happy to see these two continue to bond, even if they are both acting silly now. Really curious and excited for the next part to see how Doc reacts to Sanji and maybe even how Zoro reacts if Sanji flirts with Doc?! 😂

I have so many feelings to this story, I have to admit, I read Chapter 3 five times. Then I went to read Chapter 2. And then I read all chapters from the first one before this update because I have an insane amount of brain rot for OPLA Zoro and it's been consuming me this week 😂🙃 Also, because it's been bringing me joy and making me smile at a time in my life where I'm feeling a bit lost.

Sending you so much love and thank you for the update. I had a shit week so this has been such a mood booster that it is hard to put it into words how much I appreciate you and how happy I am that I discovered you and Chaos in Their Bones.

Hope you're having a lovely weekend, Jenn ❤

Osiyo my Gouda 🧀 Nonnie turned to my cheesy!! I am so happy to hear from you! The fact you did an intense cleansing of your tumblr makes me feel like I should probably do the same BUT 2009, you say?!? My bestie started a tumblr around that time too, I believe. What was it like? Was it wild? Lol

It makes me so happy to know you enjoyed the updated chapter! I was honestly very nervous about it cause I wrote it starting yesterday around 5 pm and finished by roughly 9:30 am. I just knew that once Sanji was introduced the story was going to be a bit more hefty, per say. There is the drinking scene, and I wanted Doc and Nami to have some time together, because she deserves a good wholesome friendship, okay?!

I’m so glad you love Zoro’s POV! It always makes me nervous because he is such a moody baby, but also extremely devoted to keeping his word/promises. I thought it was important to show his side and struggle, because he is so devoted to fulfilling his promise that I can envision him being completely blinded by that determination. I mean, look how he responds to poor Nami 😩😩

Oh man, we know Sanji flirts with EVERY woman lol so flirting is definitely implied and I may or may not have already pre-written the dialogue for most of that scene 🤣

I cannot believe you’ve reread Chaos in Their Bones so many times! But also, I completely understand why you would after reading the rest of your message. It is an absolute honor and a privilege to be a part of something that is bringing you joy in a time when you feel like it is most needed. I always look forward to your reviews and to see how you liked chapters. It means a lot to me to see your 🧀 in my ask box. I am incredibly sorry this week wasn’t any good, but just know I am sending you lots of love and good vibes that hopefully next week is better than this one. Sending you virtual hugs and Much Love 🖤

#thecheesyreader #answered #Chaos in Their Bones review #I hope all is well hun #and thank you for letting my little story be a place of comfort for you #you humble my story more than it deserves #but I am so truly honored to be there for you when you need it #wishing you so much joy #now I’m gonna go be emotional now ok?#opla zoro

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jamminvroomvroom · 1 year

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okay so TW for mentions of weight and alcohol and such in this but michael is actually very sus imo.

he has his own website where he advertises his training/weight loss programs? where ordinary people, like you or me, could pay for his training? he lists absolutely no qualifications on there beyond being daniel's performance coach (unless this has changed since i last checked), so what makes him qualified to be giving complete strangers advice on fitness, diet, or health in general? i'm not sure if this is country and law-dependent, but he also doesn't advise people to seek medical advice before starting a new strenuous workout routine or hard-core diet (unless, again, this has changed since i last checked his website), which could be especially dangerous for anyone who has underlying health conditions to do (and is especially important because - again, unless something has changed extremely recent - he doesn't seem to have any qualifications or professional training).

i had to stop following him on instagram altogether because i don't even struggle with body image issues to a large degree myself, and most of his content made me even feel guilty about doing something as simple as eating? like idk who needs to hear this, but carbs are not inherently bad; your body needs carbs to energize and function (lando's trainer actually made a great video explaining all of this). also, you aren't going to die or ruin your body or whatever because you chose to have a little drink to celebrate the holidays or ring in the new year (this is in moderation of course, like i'm not claiming addiction or excessive drinking is healthy by any means); i can guarantee you michael's biggest client drinks alcohol, at times to a bigger extent than a glass of champagne for new year's lmao. do not listen to this dude, some of his advice is blatantly hypocritical, a large portion isn't even healthy, and quite a bit of it is misinformation he picked up from other ig "health influencers" and decided to spread himself.

i don't think he has bad intentions or is a bad person, i just think he's uneducated and uninformed about these topics that he's trying to use his platform to "educate" others on.

yeah… all of this stuff is very prevalent when you look at his ethics and his content. i never followed him on ig for the same reasons. completely agree with that last bit, i do think it’s down to misinformation and a lack of education! it’s painful to see the amount of people affiliated with drivers and teams that endorse a really toxic diet/food culture, bc not only does it impact them, they spread it all over the internet where vulnerable people can see it and they take it as gospel bc it’s come from someone associated with athletes. it’s really scary.

#mans is just running a business but the risks are all too real #ask #anon #tw weight #tw food #tw eating issues #tw alcohol

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mbti-notes · 2 years

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Anon wrote: Hi mbti notes, long time follower and thankful for your blog. I’m an INFP. I’m wondering if I’m in an Si loop at the moment and not thinking logically. Four months out of a breakup, and I am utterly convinced I will never find a partner as good for me again. It seems very Si loop as when I say that I can hear how ridiculous it sounds, and not using any Ne to see how many people could be good for me.

However whenever I try to remind myself of that I get thrown by the objective fact that my ex (ESTJ) was genuinely excellent. He was extremely compassionate and caring, showing an interest in all my hobbies and doing warm things for me, very intelligent, good looking, successful, blah blah blah, organised, our hobbies matched, our core values matched although we were different on the surface and with cognitive functions. Treated me really well, and genuinely warm hearted and with a touching innocence. Objectively I know I’m gonna struggle to find this again.

I know you might be thinking, “but you broke up right?” So it can’t have been all sunshine and rainbows. Well it wasn’t, because of me. I have past attachment trauma and I wasn’t ready. In fact jn the relationship I acted a lot like I was in Te grip. I was triggered by his confidence and straight forwardness and became critical, cold, harsh, detached and started to think we weren’t right and that (missing Ne) someone out there was better. He eventually got sick of my shit and left. Fair enough. I’ve done a lot of introspection since and I’m really regretful and wish we could have another chance but in true ESTJ fashion he has made his choice and that’s that, which I understand.

I just feel I’ll never find such a good match again. Is this Si loop thinking or is it based in truth, given that it was me who wasn’t evolved to the same level as him and stuffed it up?

-----------------------

In a relationship, you won't find the truth by only hearing one side of the story. I'm only hearing one side, so I'm not in a position to tell you what is true. Deep down, only you know whether you're being completely honest about what happened. Only you know whether you have been as objective and fair as possible in incorporating all the relevant facts from both sides of the story. Remember that one of the major challenges of being Fi dom is lack of objectivity, so it is right for you to question whether you've grasped the bigger picture.

As a general rule, it takes two people to create an unhealthy relationship dynamic. Thus, when an intimate relationship fails, there is some fault to be found on both sides, though both parties may not be equally at fault. You seem to be looking at your ex through rose-colored glasses and taking on all the blame as a result. He may be as great as you say, but a great person doesn't automatically make a great partner, i.e., an individual's traits don't necessarily tell you how well their traits will interact with another person's traits. At the very least, he didn't know you well enough. He wasn't able to interpret your needs, understand your trauma, and navigate your insecurities. Even when you've done some self-work, trauma doesn't just disappear, does it? Whatever great traits he possesses, the fact is that he doesn't possess the right ones to make him a good match for you. It seems your concept of "compatibility" may be far too naive.

If you want to know what went wrong exactly, who did what wrong exactly, and to what extent each person is responsible for the failure of the relationship, you have to conduct a brutally honest postmortem. It is especially important to do a postmortem if you've exhibited a pattern of destructive relationship behavior and want to break the cycle. A postmortem, in itself, does not count as Si loop, as long as your intention is purely to take responsibility for what you did wrong and learn from it, such that you don't repeat the same mistakes in future relationships. Is this what you're doing? Are you genuinely reaching for closure? Or is there something fishy going on?

Have you experienced Si loop before? Are you able to spot it before you get too deep into it? Do you understand what brings about Si loop and how to stop it? If you do, you shouldn't need someone else to tell you whether you're in it. Be honest. Are you ruminating in circles because you can't accept the reality of your loss? Are you stuck in some kind of guilt and punishment performance? Are you rewriting history? Are you indulging fantasies of changing what can't be changed? Are you stopping yourself from moving on because you don't really want to and prefer to yearn and yearn and yearn?

I believe what you say about your insecurities and how they sabotaged the relationship. That part sounds real and honest. There is only one area where you seem deluded. You've convinced yourself that the two of you are a great match, ignoring all the counter-evidence. And because you've convinced yourself of that lie, you then start to believe the subsequent lie that there isn't a better relationship out there for you. There's no way you could possibly know the future given the plethora of possibilities out there, yet you believe the lie as though it is an indisputable fact. Why? If you answer honestly, you'll know whether it is Si loop or not.

If you've done as much introspection as you claim, this experience of failure should've increased your self-awareness, which means you've significantly reduced the chances of repeating your past mistakes. This fact alone is essentially going to mean that your next relationship attempt will be better because you now know better what not to do. Relationships don't succeed according to some silly matchmaking formula. Relationship succeed when you improve yourself and your relationship skills. Only you know the truth of whether you've come out of this relationship better prepared for the next one. If you are, you should look forward to it.

#infp #infp relationships #si loop #past #closure #breakup #relationships #ask

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rev3rb · 1 year

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Hello! I don’t have much to add about this chapter. The main thing that stood out to me is that Yu isn’t completely cold when it comes to hurting others. I think it’s been established that while he will ultimately prioritize his goals, he still struggles with hurting people to achieve them. I mean I really think killing kids is one of those points of no return for villainy so I’m glad we managed to avoid that. I feel like some ppl may be disappointed that he hasn’t tipped straight into total ruthlessness to become a full on villain, but I think this does make sense with the way that caring about others is at the core of his motivations. And plus, I don’t think we’ve reached the full extent of how far he’s willing to go, so I’m definitely curious to see what continuing down this path will lead to. The stakes of his success will rise as he commits more to his plan and I definitely want to see how that pushes him.

I’m also excited to see what may be uncovered in the memories if everything goes to plan. I think it’s important for the sake of Yuu and Mika’s plan, but hopefully it’ll also have some satisfying answers for us readers.

Otherwise, one of my fav moments was Yuu and Mika using an illusion. I truly feel like illusions/magic are super underused as tools so I was pretty surprised they thought to do that instead of immediate confrontation.

And Shinoa’s declaration about killing Mika if she had to absolutely sent me! Literally everyone just stared at her in silence like 😐… I mean I get that Shinoa loves him, but girl plz bffr. Firstly, even if she could manage that, it would be over the 1st and Yuu’s dead bodies lol. I seriously don’t get how delusional she has to be to truly think that Yuu would become closer to her after killing the person he loves most. Although the part of me that lives for drama does want to see her try lmao. If the story is setting up Mika and Shinoa to compete to be with Yuu head-to-head, I’m all for it. But considering the way we’ve been shown time and time again that Yuu will choose Mika of his own volition, I’m gonna have to bring up ‘the word that shall not be named’ again if Shinoa somehow comes out on top.

Hey, anon! Happy to have you back! To be honest, I don't think I have a ton to add to this chapter either. I had comments I want to make initially but as the chapter has sat in my head, it's kind of died down to an overall neutral feeling. The comments were just more so observations more than actual commentary/thoughts on what's going on anyways.

I'd say Yuu has a soft spot for kids that he specifically identifies with. To me, that's largely what stopped him here, but you could be right in that it's kids in general. It could also be because the whole thing was an illusion, so failing there was kind of the point. Still though, he is mostly okay with killing soldiers so he's definitely heading down that path. I don't have to really say it but, the mentality he has right now with 'I can eventually reverse all my actions in regards to killing' is an extremely dangerous one. It almost makes me want to see Yuu fail so he has to properly suffer the consequences of his actions because otherwise, it feels a bit... I dunno. Terrible mentalities like this being proven right sit a bit wrong, ya know? Anyways, I agree with you when you say that we likely haven't reached as far as Yuu will go. Wouldn't it be interesting if the ultimate tipping point becomes 'will he kill Guren/his squad to achieve his goals'. He basically says he will, but I kind of doubt it at the moment. There will likely be some hesitation there... but I guess we'll see. Guren and everyone else there definitely aren't going to make things easy for Yuu... and if Yuu truly believes in his mentality, maybe it won't be as big a mental hurdle as I'm thinking it is.

I feel like I'm shooting myself in the foot by saying this as I've probably said it countless numbers of times now, BUT! I feel that once we get that memory dive, we'll finally get large pieces of the mysteries revealed to us. Dare I say, we'll get answers. If not, I'm rioting lol. It better be satisfactory.

Oh yeah, Shinoa's statement is kinda wild. I understand why she said it, but as you say, there's not a chance's way in hell she'll be able to without a MASSIVE power up. Imagine if she succeeded though lol. Shinoa destroys the plot through the power of... love? Is it really love if you kill someone/something that important to someone? Yes, Mika is causing Yuu to do some horrible stuff, but it's not Mika's fault. Mika isn't actively pushing Yuu to do any of this. In fact, he was initially against it. The problem here is Yuu himself and killing Mika is neither a good act of care and love nor a proper solution to the issue at hand. Feels like if you kill Mika, you're going to have to kill Yuu too. If Shinoa somehow manages to kill Yuu and we still get a happy ending for Yuu then yeah. It's uh... definitely something... at least at this point in time. Things can change, but it's really difficult to see an outcome where that's the result given how a large chunk of Yuu's character is his devotion to Mika. Really, it’s just kinda a sad way for Shinoa’s character to end up. The statement sorta rang as one of obsession? especially because no one echoes her mentality. She’s the only one willing to go that far seemingly and it’s not from the most...noble of places? if that makes sense. It’s a shame.

#What is the general feeling for this chapter rn anyways?#from what I've gleaned people don't like it #but OnS has been a little drowned out on my dash as of late #so I haven't seen much #Owari no Seraph #OnS spoilers #OnS 120 spoilers #OnS 120 #Anonysis asks #My posts #Asks

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rmbunnie · 2 years

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read from the end of the Sports Maxx fight to the very start of the Jailhouse Lock arc and my GOD do i have thoughts. Mostly about FF, but some not! I would usually put them in the tags, but i have so many i’ll probably just elaborate in the tags.

So, Stone Ocean thoughts AND SPOILERS (up until the jailhouse lock arc) below! (have not done this before, hope it works)

- First of all apparently people hate the Dragon’s Dream fight?? Which I do not get at all. I mean it wasn’t an intense and extremely-well-fought battle or anything but come on the dragon was really really good. Absolutely loved him. I DID hate the Westwood fight, as well as the very end of the Dragon’s Dream fight, but not because it was bad, but because it was SO VERY GROSS. Westwood is officially my least favorite JoJo character just because every new panel he was in made me physically cringe in disgust.

- On the topic of Dragon’s Dream, I got the whole Feng Shui set up pretty fine but i do NOT get that thing they did with the water and FF opening her mouth being a bad thing, whatever was going on just did not convey to me. It kinda reminded me of that scene with the ghosts in Rohan at the Louvre? Props to FF for fucking BITING Kenzou though, I laughed out loud (and the “attack and defense” comment? again, that dragon was GOOD)

- Also, the appeal of Pucci hasn’t really connected with me yet but him putting a CD IN GUCCIO TO PLAY HIS FAVORITE SONG WHEN SOMETHING GOES WELL FOR HIM?? That GOT ME. God that was so so funny of him. Speaking of Guccio i honestly think Survivor was a pretty cool stand ability, it did remind me of that stupid joke from here about the “bazinga frenzy shout” thing though so there’s that.

- So Anasui’s here now! Not going to lie I dislike him by default, mainly because he and Jolyne just don’t work as a ship for me, but everything else about him is actually pretty great. His discussions with FF were stupid funny, overall he was just pretty good for comedy, and his “disassembly” thing was REALLY interesting to me. Sometimes I don’t like the way he looks in the pngs and such, but I think Diver Down looks SUPER complementary color-wise with him, to the point where it improves his overall appearance when he has his stand out. The anime choice to make his hair more purple toned is a downgrade to a ridiculous extent though. Also, although i don’t like them together, his crush on Jolyne made for some jokes that really landed for me, with him going in for romantic moments OVER AND OVER in the Yo-Yo Ma scenes (constantly getting absolutely nothing of what Jolyne was actually trying to communicate) and asking FF to trip her so he can make sure he rescues her dramatically. Also worth noting, his crush on Jolyne itself doesn’t bug me, he’s actually more respectful about it then i thought he’d be (to her) and some of his lines, like “i can see hope for myself through you” (paraphrased) were kinda interesting, I just don’t really see her reciprocating.

- I kinda skipped over this, but Ermes in the Sports Maxx fight was so so good. I love her automatically, I think KISS is a really neat stand ability and overall she’s just my favorite Stone Ocean character (although that’s heavily contested by FF as of now.) I think the way they introduced her backstory and vendetta against him was really good, with the combination of Jolyne just happening to not know this important information about a close friend and the implied conversations that FF is having with Ermes and other people between events, I just liked it really well. The “when i peel this sticker off, it’ll come back together. And this next one is also for Gloria, the next one, and the one after that.” was a VERY good moment for me, and the way Ermes uses her stickers really showed her creativity and intelligence, which overall made her a more serious and well-rounded character to me considering most of her other moments up to that point were either displays of knowledge or comedic. Overall, Ermes was super likable in this fight! (also, iirc she said something like “I don’t want to spend the rest of my life forcing myself to forget that my sister was thrown away in the gutter” which was a RIDICULOUSLY good line and overall reminded me heavily of early SDC Polnareff. Ermes’s dedication to putting Sports Maxx in a grave to the point where she went to jail on purpose just to get at him is SUCH a interesting and cool trait for her to have, it’s pretty much impossible for me to dislike her when she has that amount of drive and love for her sister)

- Also the line “I really, at your side, want to cry as hard as i can, but i don’t think i have time to cry right now” was so sweet and also kinda uh loving to be saying to your bestie

- Lastly, Foo Fighters. My GOD was that sad. Bucciarati is still at the top for “deaths that made me the saddest” but christ alive is FF a close second. I could pretty much tell from the moment they separated that FF wasn’t gonna be part of the story much longer but the DETAILS as fate kinda just slowly closed in on them ruined me. The fact that even after Atroe’s body is destroyed FF shapes her plankton into the shape of her down to the hat because that’s the body that she got to have an identity and self in, the way i was so hopeful when Weather Report came through with the rain and when “Weather Report” showed up through the mist, the “this was my intellect, I was alive,” the “I was so scared i would forget to say goodbye, but at the end i remembered i have to say it” ESPECIALLY with that line kind of doubling in meaning because FF only learned norms like “you say goodbye after a conversation” so recently, it was all SO mean! I really really liked it though! I’m sure it was the intention, but I was so so worried that FF wouldn’t be allowed a soul like all the other deaths because they’re just a stand/plankton, it would be way too mean if that had happened. It’s a bit sad to think that FF won’t be able to come back if they use the stand disk again, but also kind, because the impermanence of FF means they got to really be an person, and as such are treated as a stand user would be. If they could come back when the disk is used again, it would be invalidating to their choice to become something other than a stand and have an personhood that is shaped by experiences because it would mean “really, FF is only a stand, and like an object that can be replaced, instead of a being with a life.” It would be a lot sadder if everything FF worked to be was destroyed just so they could exist in a lesser way again.

tl;dr it was really good and i love Ermes and FF but i’m so very sad

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golbrocklovely · 2 years

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Seeing how many people here thinks that Colby not being in a relationship is concerning or even a warning is surprising to me. This is seriously how your mindset goes? Like relationship in life is not something that you need to achieve. You can go through life without being in a single one and be completely fine. That doesn’t make you a bad or worse person. I can confess to yall that I’ve never been in a relationship even tho i am 20 yrs old. I’ve never been in single one, because I never wanted to. I don’t want to be in relationship just to be in one and settle for whatever they will give me. Like no ! Thank you! I would much rather be single forever than push myself into something, just because other people think that you need it. Also I think it’s important to say that if you having troubles with yourself, then it’s better for you to not start any relationship, because it can turn out bad. Colby I think still have some problems with himself and I think it’s kinda possible of him having depression. I am not saying that having depression is always something that prevents you from a relationship, but if you having too much of a problems with yourself and sometimes cannot understand yourself and they way you feel… then I think it is better for u to be alone, than to start anything, because it could be become a total mess and people may end up hurt in a process ( sorry, but tht is literally how bad mental health works. You hurt people. Been there, experienced it )

Either it is something Colby is going through or just that he doesn’t want a gf, this should never be a reason for people to judge him based only on this unimportant fact that he doesn’t have anyone. If he even stays single for the rest of his life and will be happy with it, then this will be also totally alright. And you should never think that person not having bf/gf is a “red flag”. YOU ARE THE RED FLAG IF YOU THINK LIKE THIS!!! ( i hope yk that this was to not your acc , but to other people that have this mindset)

totally understand your frustration, but i just wanted to say taht the previous anon explained themselves, and they basically aren't trying to say that colby needs to have a relationship, just that his issues are stopping him from having one.

and i think to some degree they're right. but i also think he doesn't want one, which technically could be stopping him from working on himself, thus making it harder in the future to get a gf when he does end up wanting one.

i also agree that you don't need a relationship to live a full life or a well one. you can go your whole life not having one, and if that's what you wanted, then you'll be better off in the long run. i'm gonna be 27 years old and have never had a relationship either. not really by choice fully, but i'm also happy i haven't had one to some degree. the dudes i used to like back when i really hated myself… i'm happy i skipped out on them lol

and as for your comment about colby possibly having depression, i think he does too. but not for the reasons you give. as someone who does have depression, his descriptions of laying on his couch and not leaving it for days on end when he lived in the apartments kinda proves there's something wrong with him to some extent. a normal, mentally healthy person doesn't do that. i would hope that if he does think something's wrong, he goes and gets the help he would need. but i think it's best if we don't speculate about the mental health of others.

also, i don't agree that a person with mental health issues hurt ppl. at least, not on purpose. i think ppl that struggle with their mental health are more likely to accidentally hurt someone's feelings, or not take them into account, just bc they are mixed up in their own shit. but i don't think just bc you struggle mentally, means you're gonna hurt others.

anyway, i just think colby at this moment in time (and for quite some years now) doesn't want a gf. he's extremely busy, and like we've mentioned, has a lot to work on himself before he considers getting one. and that anon wasn't saying his life is unfulfilled bc he hasn't had one in years, they were just saying that he's gonna have issues getting one if he doesn't work on himself.

#ask #personal #cb ll

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yesimwriting · 3 years

Text

The Needs of Pain

A/n as promised,,, here is my gift to you bc I finished ap gov today :))

The darkling x heartrender!reader story based on the whole ‘no one but me can hurt you’ thing :))

Warnings: sexual innuendos,, attempts to sexualize pain if you squint, kinda lemon-y

I kinda want to write a smutty part 2 let’s see lol

Summary: after a training injury, Kirigan reveals how he views the dynamic of your relationship and figures out how to best help you work through the pian

In an odd way, the most painful part of my injury had been the wound on my pride, not my shoulder. Though the pain that begins beneath my collarbone and continues down my left shoulder is not exactly pleasant. I can’t bring myself to pity myself too much as I stare at the extent of my burns. There’s a war going on. People die, people lose loved ones, I have to tolerate pain for an hour or two before a healer can be sent to be.

I told Genya I’d be fine in the medical wing, but she insisted that I wait for a healer to be sent to me. The people here look up to me, if news of my injury got out, especially considering it’s a training wound, morale would take a blow we can’t currently afford. Genya had looked relatively sympathetic when she told me that many healers were occupied considering how difficult training had been and I had told her I could bear the weight.

Now, in my room, staring at the basin full of water, I’m starting to regret my desire to be self sacrificing. I dip the towel in the water, squeezing out the excess before daring to dab the fabric on the outer edge of the wound. The feeling is fire against my skin all over again. An instinctual curse leaves me as I drop the towel on the counter that surrounds the basin.

Arthur hadn’t meant it. I can still hear the frantic apologies tumbling from his full lips. He should have been more focused on the task at hand, he should have never stopped to look at me, at the way I could control so many living things at once. In some odd sense, his distraction had been a compliment. Many of the girls here would sell anything to have Arthur’s attention, even if it resulted in such a careless mistake.

I grimace, picking up the towel and preparing to start again. I should at least clean it before the healers have to deal with both a physical injury and an infection. The sound of my door flying open and then shutting angrily is enough of a distraction for me to accidentally dab the towel against my skin too harshly. I curse again, turning my head towards the bathroom door. Did Genya exaggerate the severity of my wound? Are the healers that desperate to get to me?

I turn on my toes, towel forgotten by the basen full of water as I approach the door that connects my room with the bathroom. “I’m--” Words meant to calm a frantic healer stick to the back of my throat as soon as I register all the black in the room. General Kirigan. Great. He no doubt heard about my injury after prying it from Genya and now he’s here to scold me for the childishness of it all. To be injured because a boy and I just couldn’t help ‘make eyes at each other’. All he does is insult my refusal to become bitter just because I was born possessing power.

“You’re what?” His words are a different level of callous, darker than the shadows he creates with the will of his mind alone. “An idiot that let herself be sent back to her room instead of demanding to see a healer?”

That’s an odd thing for him to focus his anger on. At least it’s not fully directed at me. On instinct, I half turn, attempting to hide my injury from his piercing eyes. My instinct tells me he should never see me so mortal. “Genya recommended it,” my words are determined yet calm, “It’s such a small injury it isn’t worth risking everyone’s morale. A healer will come here when one is available.”

His face tightens in what must be some kind of disgusted disbelief. “Foolish girl--have you no instinct for preservation?”

Every decision I’ve made since being injured made sense before he spoke to me. The fierceness of his voice leaves my face warmer than it was a moment ago and reminds me of the stem of my dislike for him. General Kirigan speaks and I am left a clumsy child. “Some things are more important than one’s self.” I expect he’ll turn that into something else to mock or belittle about me. “And it’s not a grave injury it’s barely--”

The distance between us seemed so great less than a second ago, but he’s closed it so quickly, grabbing my left wrist and extending my arm forward so that I can’t hide anything from him. “You’re burned.” There’s the slightest bit of surprise coloring his words along with something else I can’t interpret. “How did you get burned?”

Kirigan doesn’t know. My stomach knots, anticipating embarrassment. “Training incident--I was standing too close to an Inferni.”

His grip on my arm tightens. I grimace as he pulls me forward with no regard for my injury. “Who?” The voracious way he says the word leaves my thoughts trembling. He is a void of darkness, starving for a victim to snuff the light out of.

When my thoughts settle, I cannot bring myself to tell him the truth. “I didn’t see, I was distracted by the burning.” I exhale slowly, desperate to escape the flames behind his eyes the way I could not escape the fire of earlier. “It doesn’t matter, I’ve been injured worse in training.” His hold on my arm doesn’t loosen, I glance down at his hand, his firm grip on me somehow worse than the burn. “You’ve injured me worse in training.”

“I may push you, exhaust you, and leave you mad--but I have never done anything that comes close to--that!” The last of his words carry themselves louder than the rest.

If the skin of my shoulder wasn’t so sensitive I’d try fighting his tightening grasp. The accusation on my part had been a little much, but it was meant to serve as a reminder that he’s not one to care about my comfort or well being. “Why does it matter?” I can’t bring myself to meet his gaze. “You’ve never cared about any of my injuries before.”

Kirigan releases my arm in a stiff trance, raising his hand to brush his thumb down my cheek. The contact is reminiscent of an extremely different moment. “The first night here you only let a few tears escape you when you were convinced that no one could see them. Do you remember how I turned and wordlessly wiped them away?” His gesture had not been comforting then and it isn’t comforting now. He never wanted to comfort me, he wanted to assert some strange power over me. “I let those tears fall because they were because of me and I knew it was for the best.” I say nothing, letting his thumb ghost tears that will not come. “The moment I discovered you, what you could be, you became mine.”

“I am no one’s.” The reaction is instinctual, a pride my mother instilled in me. My voice is too loud, too brash. “I am my own.”

I brace myself for his anger, but all I receive is the slight relaxation of his lips. “It’s things like that give you so much potential in other ways.” His voice is a jagged rock caressing my skin, not minding the scrapes it leaves behind. “You’re a fair plaything, as well as useful.”

He’s speaking so gently his voice borders on vulnerable. Something in me warms, but I can’t tell why. I know that Kirigan finds joy in my discomfort--why else would he belittle me so often? “The healer will be here soon.”

“Yes,” he makes no move to leave, instead Kirigan grabs my wrist again, forcing me to turn so that he can analyze the extent of my burn, “Which is why I will ask you again…” I try to catch his gaze, but his stone stare is focused on my burned shoulder entirely. “Who did this?”

“I told you.” He can never know. “It was a training accident.”

“And someone is responsible.”

I let out a breath, tired of feeling so incomplete. I just want to be healed and go to sleep. “Why does it matter?” His fingers trail up my arm patiently, my body betrays me by shivering. “Accidents happen, you’ve put me in more risk than--”

“I’ve always intended to break you one way or another,” his voice is more supple than it’s ever been before, “Your goodness is too tempting to not tarnish.” He turns my wrist over easily, ignoring my slight wince. “But if someone else were to do it…” Kirigan trails off, expression tightening in a way I can’t read, “I don’t let others break my play things.”

Some strange resolve in my chest cracks at that. “Kirigan--”

“Who are you protecting?” He moves his free hand, placing it without reservation on my shoulder. “Not telling me will only make it worse.”

Thoughts of Arthur paying for such a small mistake leaves my stomach rolling in guilt. “Make what worse?”

His expression tightens again. I wait for some kind of rebuke. Kirigan’s lips part as if he expects to criticize my naivety, but instead of speaking he turns sharply. He doesn't release his grip on my wrist as he leads me into my bathroom.

“What are you doing?”

Kirigan ignores my surprise, releasing me to pick up the towel I was so quick to abandon. “If you’re too good to take a healer from someone, you should at least avoid infection.”

“I’m not an idiot, I was cleaning it.” The sharpness of my tone is ignored, Kirigan simply places one hand on my forearm to keep me in place. “Wha--”

He brushes his thumb over my pulse gently in an effective attempt to silence me. I part my lips in hopes of protesting, but something odd reflects across his eyes. It must be some trick of the light because his expression seems...hesitant. Maybe even concerned. And then cool fabric is pressed into my burn. I bite my tongue so hard I’m surprised it doesn’t bleed.

“Saints.”

His expression shifts to that of almost amusement. “I think I’d like to hear you curse in a,” he exhales softly, fingertips trailing up my forearm, “Slightly different scenario.”

The shock of such a bold innuendo clears my mind from thoughts of pain. But the most startling thing is that the innuendo isn’t entirely unwanted. In the wake of my surprise, he presses the wet towel into my wound again. I fight against a grimace, but that doesn’t go unnoticed by Kirigan. Instead of mentioning it, his free arm touches my uninjured shoulder. For the first time since he’s come here I’m aware of how improper my attire is. I changed out of my starched kefta and into a silk nightgown in order to leave my shoulder unbothered. Genya had helped me change, bearing all of my grimacing and pained curses.

I should push him off of me. Kirigan can get away with a lot because of his status, but I by no means have to allow something like this. I should not feel shy, I should not be embarrassed. He’s the one that’s out of line. I look up into his eyes, prepared to yell at him for being so out of line. But when I meet his eyes, I see something so un-monstrous I am left breathless. There’s a gentleness to the way he tilts his head downwards, eyes never leaving mine. Is he asking for permission? Permission to--to what? I stay frozen as his lips brush against the unmarred side of my collarbone. His touch is almost enough to make me forget pain ever existed. He pulls away enough that I can feel his breath against the base of my neck. Thoughts I’d never dare speak are banished as the towel presses against my skin again. My face cringes immediately, but he’s quick to press his lips to the base of my neck, lingering kisses melting into my skin.

“I thought you said you were fine.” His chiding is half-hearted, whispered between two brief kisses against my bare ski.

He dabs the towel on the burn again, but before I can think to complain, his lips are against my skin again. This time, his lips part slightly allowing his teeth to graze over my pulse. Kirigan pulls away slightly, expression hardening, “I’m almost sorry about this part.” His words leave him in a whisper as influential as sin.

“What part?” My voice feels foreign in my throat.

Kirigan doesn’t reply, but then I feel the sharpest pain yet. The towel is cleaning the worst of the burn, the ruined patch of skin that will never recover without supernatural intervention. The gasp I let out is that of a bird with shattered wings. A cry forms in the base of my throat, but before it can leave me, Kirigan’s teeth bite into the skin above my pulse. The pained sound is reduced by my shock, twisting in an odd combination of some kind of pained sound and something dangerously close to a moan.

He releases me with one last soft brush of his lips, straightening his back and retracting the towel. “There.” Kirigan drops the towel onto the bathroom counter. “It wasn’t that bad, was it?”

I can still feel the ghost of his lips, tongue, and teeth against my skin. I understand now. Each kiss had been a way to distract me, to lessen the pain. Something odd swells in my chest as I try to will my eyes to stop watering in pain.

Kirigan presses his lips together, pressing his hand against my cheek again. His thumb brushes the few stray tears that escape me. “Don’t cry,” his tone is pure velvet, “I won’t tolerate tears in your eyes caused by anyone else.” He tilts his head oddly, hand sliding down my cheek before gripping my jaw, “I can provide reason for your tears if you’d like.”

Inhaling deeply, I continue to stare at him. Today has been so sudden. He’s flirted with me through strangely sexual insults and threats before, but never has he been so forward about it.

“I’m fine,” I force my voice to remain clear. He nods once. A soft rap at my door has me turning away from him. “The healer--I shoul--”

“Come in,” he calls, voice clear and leaving no room for argument.

My eyes widen. To be caught with him here could be detrimental for my reputation. Kirigan pulls away, something sharp playing at his features, something almost humorous.

He leaves the bathroom like this is his own room. “Her wound is clean, work quickly.” I walk out of the bathroom in a strange trance. Kirigan’s gaze lands on me as I enter the main part of my room, “I need her at her full strength for what I have planned.”

There’s a heaviness to his words, a weight that tells me he means more than what his words imply. Goosebumps erupt across my skin as I try to banish the thoughts of his mouth against my skin between inflictions of pain, blending together to create the most intense sense of fight or flight I’ve ever experienced.

Kirigan begins to approach the door to my room. “I’ll be checking on her later.”

People that asked to be tagged in this/expressed interest:

@luminous-99 @voyevoda-thejoy @voidmalfoy @i-padfootblack-things @all-art-is-quite-useless @buckverse @mandowh0re @uhanddreag

@we-love-our-bandz

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sailorhyunjinz · 3 years

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SKZ SHORT REACTION TO YOU ALWAYS CRYING , WHINING , AND RUBBING YOUR FACE INTO THEM DURING SEX 😭🥺🥺 CUTE FDDFFGG

It just always feels so good and overwhelming to have fat cock inside of your tiny pussy 🥺

Also ilysm <33 hry ?

-🐈

KITTEN! how are youuu~? i’m doing just fine, thank you for asking ^^

also... wish i could relate but do i get dick? no, none. ASHAHSHSA

OK QUICK REACTION (aka cherry word vomits) LEGO

warnings; dom!skz x gn!reader, dacryphilia, explicit sexual scenes, slight impact play, moaning, sex (well no fucking shit), orgasm,,, uh what more,,

before starting lemme just say this; as a collective THEY LOVE IT, EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THEM LOVES IT but sure... some more than others

Bangchan

nah mate you got him whipped

W H I P P E D

just imagine holding him close and rubbing your face against his muscles while he’s just going at it OH LORD-

he already likes being in control

and when you show that you are weak in the presence of this dominant aura it just boosts that aura tenfolds.

i dont think he’d go as far as to see you cry but like tear up yk?

but BRUH HE LOSES HIS SHIT WHEN YOU’RE CLINGY

your toes curling as you try to move away from his touch, him already beginning on your fourth orgasm that night

you try to hold on to anything which is most likely his broad shoulders (oop drooling a bit)

DUDE HAS THEM GUNS TO BE ABLE TO MANHANDLE YOU WITH EASE

which he does... a lot

but he would always ask if you felt comfortable and would remind you to use the safeword because caring dom shit

whine his name and BYE- he cums

would ask you to say it louder

“let everyone hear how good im making my baby feel”

Minho

SKSKASK all of you guys are going to say that i’m stereotyping minho

BUT IT MUST BE SAID

he likes it to a certain extent

if you belong to the more extremely squirmy people chances are he would get kinda annoyed having to hold you down LMAO

THATS NOT TO SAY THAT HE DOESNT LOVE SEEING YOU WRECKED

nononono honey... this man is corruption kink in human form

crying >>>>> moaning

WELL THATS MY GUESS

he’d be all cocky about it

“only i can make you feel like that baby?”

WAIT LISTEN TO THIS

he has a whole ass folder on his phone that’s just pictures of you being completely wrecked

he uses them to jerk off 110%

it can really be any kind of pictures but his favorite is the one where you have both cum and tears running down your face

somebody take the internet away from me

Changbin

awh binnie baby likes it v v much

it let’s him know how much you are enjoying it which is more important then getting his own pleasure

oof service top binnie?? ok stop cherry dont LMAO

weak for your whining 100%

especially if it’s all like,, high pitched and cute I CANT-

ngl it gets him even hornier

you’re feeding his horny monster by holding onto him, scratching his back and leaving all kinds of marks.

just gonna say it; he likes seeing you desperate

“binnie~ i need you inside of m-me..”

say that and HE A GONER

BECAUSE HE LIKES SEEING OTHERS WANT HIM (i know all your secrets dont even try to hide it you smug hot mf)

because of his buff arms he would have no problem pinning you down if you squirmed around too much

his sturdy arms in contrast with your quivering body OH GAWD

“you want me? beg then”

and you can’t simply ask

you need to whine it

IT DOESNT HAVE TO SOUND CUTE

just desperate ;)))

Hyunjin

the whole fucking rubbing your face and hair against him; in love

it doesnt even have to be against him

against the bed or against a pillow is enough to keep him going

your hair all disheveled when you look at him :((

“do i fuck you that good, baby?” he cooed at you, your head burried in a multitude of pillows. you nod, your hair in your face as your whole body jerks forward from his powerful thrust

we all know that this boy is vocal

so you would have to be EVEN LOUDER to get him off

which you were

god you know the dance lives??

when he’s all sweaty and is heaving for air?

head empty. only that

yeah... he would like a clingy s/o

because then he can go around and be proud of himself that he made you cry in bed LMAO

he wouldnt tell it to anyone, seeing it more as a personal achievement HASHASH

a sucker of you being squirmy

gives him more reason to use force when pinning you down

showing himself off a lil...

blushing mess if you compliment him on his muscles tho...

Jisung

you know that video where felix bites a banana with the peel still on and jisung goes all “SPIT IT OUT YOU FUCK”

yeah thats what happens when you start crying from how hard he’s going

he thinks he fucked up real bad

no dude you just hitting it too good (HASHASH bye im yeeting myself off a cliff)

crying in bed makes him scared but do you know what really gets him?

whining

A LOT OF IT

he loves how they go from small murmurs to full out long whines that are all uneven

some incoherent words mixed into them together with his name

he also loves how they sound mixed with his moans and growls

i feel like he’s very moved by sound

the mf that would record your moans no cap

i feel like he would be the one to rub his head against you??

yk missonary (wow cherry has nothing else to come with LMAO) he drops his head when he’s close to cumming, shaking his head slightly against your shoulder, his soft hair tickling you

he would be the one tearing up when he’s close

BECAUSE you feel too good wrapped around his aching dick :((

can we really blame him?

Felix

OOOOH MY GOD

OOOOOOOOOOOH MY GOD

he loves it

more than he should

all of it; the crying, the rubbing against him, the whining, the hair in your face LIkE OOF

why? because it gives him a sense of being in control

he has you under his control which IS RARE FOR HIM

OK he subs for you a lot and then he does the same thing, probably even more than you do

yk the whole rubbing his hair against your chest as he’s whining at the top of his lungs

BUT HE REDEEMS THAT WHEN HE DOMS

which is perfect because then its a give and take situation

happy sexy times

where the both of you are enjoying it waaay to much

WAIT THIS

imagine him pounding you in missionary right.... and both of you cry!?!?!

two overwhelmed babies :(((

Seungmin

Puppyboy is all for it

let me just say,,, he has a corruption kink SAHSSAHS

OK I KNOW EVERYONE IS GOING TO BE LIKE

“cherry he’s so neat and tidy, how could he possibly have a corruption kink?”

THATS WHY. BECAUSE HE LOVES SEEING YOU ALL TIDY AT DAYTIME

but god forbid nighttime because then you are nothing but a drooling and crying mess, holding onto him for dear life as he mercilessly pounds into you

i swear this dude is all about drastic changes like duality is in his DNA

and i feel like he likes people that have that same charm??!?

IMAGINE THIS RIGHT;

you’re riding him, tired and fucked out of your mind, eventually leaning down to his chest and nuzzling your face in the crook of his neck, crying from overstimulation

AND THIS MF lifts you up slightly and starts thrusting up into you

thats it.

i love him AHSHASH

Jeongin

it would take a while for him to get used to you crying in bed

first time it happened he got scared, stopped and hugged you, apologizing like a thousand times

you all like “...it was just getting good?”

he doesn’t understand shit at first???

“b-but why are you crying then? tell me the truth y/n”

“but i am?”

after you explained that it just happens to you he’d nod and continue

after a while... he starts liking it

and if you one time don’t cry he’d be confused again, this time saying;

“did you not l-like it?”

“dork, of course i did” you say ruffling his hair and he feels relieved hearing you say that

ah cutie :(((

ALSO the whining and the squirming; total sucker for that LMAO

OK IMMA SLEEP NOW holy shit my back is scoliosis central rn and im so damn nervous for my exam tomorrow AAAAAAH fuck fuck fuck

ANYHOW HOPE THIS WAS FUN READING <333

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