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cocklessboy · 10 months

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The biggest male privilege I have so far encountered is going to the doctor.

I lived as a woman for 35 years. I have a lifetime of chronic health issues including chronic pain, chronic fatigue, respiratory issues, and neurodivergence (autistic + ADHD). There's so much wrong with my body and brain that I have never dared to make a single list of it to show a doctor because I was so sure I would be sent directly to a psychologist specializing in hypochondria (sorry, "anxiety") without getting a single test done.

And I was right. Anytime I ever tried to bring up even one of my health issues, every doctor's initial reaction was, at best, to look at me with doubt. A raised eyebrow. A seemingly casual, offhand question about whether I'd ever been diagnosed with an anxiety disorder. Even female doctors!

We're not talking about super rare symptoms here either. Joint pain. Chronic joint pain since I was about 19 years old. Back pain. Trouble breathing. Allergy-like reactions to things that aren't typically allergens. Headaches. Brain fog. Severe insomnia. Sensitivity to cold and heat.

There's a lot more going on than that, but those were the things I thought I might be able to at least get some acknowledgement of. Some tests, at least. But 90% of the time I was told to go home, rest, take a few days off work, take some benzos (which they'd throw at me without hesitation), just chill out a bit, you'll be fine. Anxiety can cause all kinds of odd symptoms.

Anyone female-presenting reading this is surely nodding along. Yup, that's just how doctors are.

Except...

I started transitioning about 2.5 years ago. At this point I have a beard, male pattern baldness, a deep voice, and a flat chest. All of my doctors know that I'm trans because I still haven't managed to get all the paperwork legally changed, but when they look at me, even if they knew me as female at first, they see a man.

I knew men didn't face the same hurdles when it came to health care, but I had no idea it was this different.

The last time I saw my GP (a man, fairly young, 30s or so), I mentioned chronic pain, and he was concerned to see that it wasn't represented in my file. Previous doctors hadn't even bothered to write it down. He pushed his next appointment back to spend nearly an hour with me going through my entire body while I described every type of chronic pain I had, how long I'd had it, what causes I was aware of. He asked me if I had any theories as to why I had so much pain and looked at me with concerned expectation, hoping I might have a starting point for him. He immediately drew up referrals for pain specialists (a profession I didn't even know existed till that moment) and physical therapy. He said depending on how it goes, he may need to help me get on some degree of disability assistance from the government, since I obviously shouldn't be trying to work full-time under these circumstances.

Never a glimmer of doubt in his eye. Never did he so much as mention the word "anxiety".

There's also my psychiatrist. He diagnosed me with ADHD last year (meeting me as a man from the start, though he knew I was trans). He never doubted my symptoms or medical history. He also took my pain and sleep issues seriously from the start and has been trying to help me find medications to help both those things while I go through the long process of seeing other specialists. I've had bad reactions to almost everything I've tried, because that's what always happens. Sometimes it seems like I'm allergic to the whole world.

And then, just a few days ago, the most shocking thing happened. I'd been wondering for a while if I might have a mast cell condition like MCAS, having read a lot of informative posts by @thebibliosphere which sounded a little too relatable. Another friend suggested it might explain some of my problems, so I decided to mention it to the psychiatrist, fully prepared to laugh it off. Yeah, a friend thinks I might have it, I'm not convinced though.

His response? That's an interesting theory. It would be difficult to test for especially in this country, but that's no reason not to try treatments and see if they are helpful. He adjusted his medication recommendations immediately based on this suggestion. He's researching an elimination diet to diagnose my food sensitivities.

I casually mentioned MCAS, something routinely dismissed by doctors with female patients, and he instantly took the possibility seriously.

That's it. I've reached peak male privilege. There is nothing else that could happen that could be more insane than that.

I literally keep having to hold myself back from apologizing or hedging or trying to frame my theories as someone else's idea lest I be dismissed as a hypochondriac. I told the doctor I'd like to make a big list of every health issue I have, diagnosed and undiagnosed, every theory I've been given or come up with myself, and every medication I've tried and my reactions to it - something I've never done because I knew for a fact no doctor would take me seriously if they saw such a list all at once. He said it was a good idea and could be very helpful.

Female-presenting people are of course not going to be surprised by any of this, but in my experience, male-presenting people often are. When you've never had a doctor scoff at you, laugh at you, literally say "I won't consider that possibility until you've been cleared by a psychologist" for the most mundane of health problems, it might be hard to imagine just how demoralizing it is. How scary it becomes going to the doctor. How you can internalize the idea that you're just imagining things, making a big deal out of nothing.

Now that I'm visibly a man, all of my doctors are suddenly very concerned about the fact that I've been simply living like this for nearly four decades with no help. And I know how many women will have to go their whole lives never getting that help simply because of sexism in the medical field.

If you know a doctor, show them this story. Even if they are female. Even if they consider themselves leftists and feminists and allies. Ask them to really, truly, deep down, consider whether they really treat their male and female patients the same. Suggest that the next time they hear a valid complaint from a male patient, imagine they were a woman and consider whether you'd take it seriously. The next time they hear a frivolous-sounding complaint from a female patient, imagine they were a man and consider whether it would sound more credible.

It's hard to unlearn these biases. But it simply has to be done. I've lived both sides of this issue. And every doctor insists they treat their male and female patients the same. But some of the doctors astonished that I didn't get better care in the past are the same doctors who dismissed me before.

I'm glad I'm getting the care I need, even if it is several decades late. And I'm angry that it took so long. And I'm furious that most female-presenting people will never have this chance.

#transgender #queer #transmasc #lgbtqia+#trans man #sexism #medical sexism #feminism #male privilege

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drchucktingle · 7 months

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From Chuck Tingle, author of the USA Today bestselling Camp Damascus, comes a new heart-pounding story about what it takes to succeed in a world that wants you dead. Misha is a jaded scriptwriter who has been working in Hollywood for years, and has just been nominated for his first Oscar. But when he's pressured by his producers to kill off a gay character in the upcoming season finale―"for the algorithm"―Misha discovers that it's not that simple. As he is haunted by his past, and past mistakes, Misha must risk everything to find a way to do what's right―before it's too late.

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BURY YOUR GAYS cover has been released today and theres something TRULY INCREDIBLE about it, something that bends timelines and melts away the edges of the void and brings tears to my eyes. can you see it? let me explain in a thread as you PREORDER NOW...

for nearly ten years i have been publishing my stories despite pushback that they are too odd. us buckaroos are the outsiders, but this community has kicked open the door for art that is sincere and strange and beautifully unique. that is my trot and that is OUR trot as buds

we came out of nowhere and made CAMP DAMASCUS a usa today bestseller. every step of the way that book overperformed. buds were CONFUSED that a book from ‘silly meme erotica author’ could take flight. but us buckaroos knew it was inevitable because we know the power of love

i still recall the question ‘are you SURE you do not want a new horror pen name?’ HECK NO i am proud of the tingleverse. i am not ashamed of these queer erotic stories i drag up from bottom of my heart and spill with raw sincerity across irony poisoned timelines

i have been mocked my whole life as author that is ‘ridiculous no-content meme’ by those who have never read it. that my work is ‘not real’. i have been mocked for my autism and queerness and told THIS WOULD NEVER WORK. which brings me back to cover of my new book BURY YOUR GAYS

looks like the name chuck tingle is NOT a liability for the mainstream. all devils who doubted can gaze upon this cover and see bold CHUCK TINGLE staring back at them PROUDLY from the shelf in all its queer autistic glory... HOVERING ABOVE THE TITLE AND JUST AS BIG AND PROUD

thank you nightfire and chucks manager and chucks agent for believing in me. these buds have always had my back. thanks to BUCKAROO COMMUNITY who have always supported my way, this next step in our trot is not just about me IT IS ABOUT US. we kick open these doors together

so heres to making this world a little more unique and strange for those of us who are, ourselves, unique and strange. heres to bending timelines to us, instead of us bending to them. heres to name CHUCK TINGLE big and bold ABOVE the title on a big five traditional published book

and remember the best way to support an author, especially someone on outside pushing their way in, is to PREORDER THEIR BOOK. because of publishing business model it is SO IMPORTANT so if you would like to support chuck then PREORDER BURY YOUR GAYS NOW

#bury your gays #tingleverse #chuck tingle #love is real #queer #horror #lgbtqia #actually autistic #misha #buckaroo lifestyle #lets trot #queer horror

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sachermorte · 1 month

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so the thing about english is that people think it's so divorced from other germanic languages based on like. words. I've even heard people try to insist that english is a romance language. because of that whole messy business in 1066 with out-of-wedlock willy and his band of naughty normans. and now a good chunk of the vocabulary is french or whatever and they're prestigious so not using them makes you sound like a rube and this and that and the other

and yes william the conqueror will never be safe from me. I will have my revenge on him. he fucked up a perfectly good germanic language is what he did. this will be me in hell

but the thing is that most words in, say, german do have a one to one english equivalent. not all hope is lost, for those who still dare to see it. it's just that you 1066pilled normancels aren't looking in the right place

dog (en) ≠ der Hund (de) but der Hund (de) -> hound (en)

look with your special eyes. that one was easier. not all of them are this intuitive because of semantic narrowing and broadening and waltzing and hokey-pokeying and whatever else. I'll give you a few more

animal (en) ≠ das Tier (de)

aha! you think. I've got him on the ropes now.

but then

das Tier (de) -> deer (en)

nooooo!! you whine and cry in gay baby jail. the consonants are different!!! listen to me. listen, I say, putting both my hands on your shoulder. /t/and /d/ are the same sound. you just put your voice behind one of them.

nooooooooo!! you wail. deer are animals but not all animals are deer!!! listen to me. LISTEN. they used to be. animals used to be deer. that's just what we called them. it was a long time ago. it was a weird time in all our lives. it's okay.

let's try for a verb this time

to die (en) ≠ sterben (de) but sterben (de) -> to starve

same principle with the consonants, we're just changing a stop (where we completely stop the airflow and then let it through) for a fricative (where we still let some air go through. idk where it's going. maybe to its job or something.)

to starve used to mean generally to die, not just to die of malnourishment. we do that a lot. we take one word for a lot of things and make it mean one thing. or take one word for one thing and make it mean a lot of things. this is common and normal.

"okay but roland," you say, suddenly coming up with an argument. "what about tree? trees are super common. I don't think we'd fuck around too much with that. the german word is baum! what about THAT?"

"when did you learn german?" I ask, but then decide it isn't relevant right at this very moment. but fine.

tree (en) ≠ der Baum (de) but der Baum (de) -> beam (en)

beam??? you ask incredulously. beam???? BEAM?????? you continue with the same tone and cadence of captain holt from brooklyn 99.

yes. beam. like the evil beams from my eye I'm going to hit you with if you don't stop shouting.

but the vowels!!! you howl.

listen. listen to me. the vowels mean nothing. absolutely nothing. they're fluid like water. it got raised in english.

"WHAT DOES RAISED MEAN"

it doesn't matter right now. they were raised better than you, at least. stop shouting. open your eyes and see what god has given you. they're the same word.

"they're NOT the same word. they mean different things!"

we've been over this. they didn't used to. a beam was (and is) a long solid piece of wood. much like the long solid piece of wood I showed your mother last night.

FAQ:

Q: could english be some kind of germanic-romance hybrid?

A: do you become a sexy thing from the black lagoon just because you dressed up as one for halloween? english may have gotten a lot of vocabulary from norman french, but its history and syntax are distinctly germanic. that's what we base these things on.

Q: okay but what does it matter? this doesn't actually affect my day to day life

A: you come into my house? you come into my house, the house of an autistic man living in vienna austria and studying english linguistics and you ask me what does it matter? sit back down. I was going to let you go but now I have powerpoints to show you

Q: you're stupid and wrong and gay and a bad person

A: I know it's you, Willy

#I don't know what came over me #it was the devil #linguistics #english linguistics #etymology #shitpost nach sacher art

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writingficsanddaydreams · 8 months

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Little Paintings

Mihawk x gn!reader

Summary: surely the extremely observant and powerful warlord of the sea won’t notice your little paintings all over his castle…

Content: pure fluff, with just a hint of romance. reader is written as autistic.

A/N: I recently watched a TikTok where somebody was painting cute little designs all around their house until their spouse noticed. It made me think of this idea. Like all my stories, Mihawk is based on a mix of his live action personality and the little bit I know from watching some of the anime and reading the manga quite literally years ago. Enjoy!

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You like painting. Always have, always will.

However, you’re not sure if the fearsome Dracule Mihawk will appreciate it so much as you, not when you’re painting inside his crystal ware cabinet. Especially not when you didn’t bother to get his permission.

Not that you’ll stop.

If anything, it makes you determined to work quicker, nudging more of the delicate wine glasses aside to you can lean in and finish the adding paint strokes to the fine wood, creating a minuscule image of a little bottle in the back corner of the cabinet.

Is it silly for a fully grown adult to be doing this? Perhaps. Yet you can’t help but smile as you add the final touch to the tiny little label on the bottle, a small swirl of purple paint to match the label of the wine he shared with you yesterday.

Perfect.

When you extract yourself and carefully push the wine glasses back in place, the painting is completely hidden. You have just enough time to hustle back through the chilly castle halls and tuck your paints in your room before he returns inside from his sword practice.

He gives you quite the long look when you settle in the kitchen later that day, those piercing yellow eyes seeming to cut through your surface and see so deep. And though you feel your breath catch—as it often does around this formidable man—you force yourself to smile innocently.

“Yes?” you ask.

“I will be sailing out for supplies this afternoon,” he says after a long moment.

You nod and draw your knees to your chin. “Do you need me along?”

“No need for that.”

You sigh with relief, watching as he turns back to his cooking. You don’t dislike people, but you do prefer your solitude. You always have, ever since you were a child. It’s why you feel content to stay here now.

That, and how utterly delightful it is to watch him cook.

He’s terribly handsome when cooking, though you’re fairly sure the man would look handsome doing anything. His knife seem to blur as he cuts up the vegetables, then begins to prep the meat. When he reaches for the pans, his cross necklace shifting against his finely cut chest, your heart skips a beat.

Yet he simply grabs a pan and gets to work, seeming to not notice the tiny cross shaped sword painted just behind where the pots hang.

Really, it’s foolish of you to do this. Yes, art has always been a passion for you, but you are a guest here. A guest he has allowed to stay for some months, and a guest who has shared just enough casual, accidental touches that you hope it might become something more, but still a guest.

Still, you’re curious. Just how much can you paint before the great swordsman notices?

You’ve been at it for a week now, ever since you found the dusty little bottles of paint tucked away in a forgotten storeroom. You use every moment he’s out to sneak little paintings around the castle, none bigger than your thumb.

There’s the little map against the doorframe of your room, like the treasure map you were following before you stumbled on this island.

Then there’s the small ape painted onto one table leg in the dining hall, a far less fearsome version of the beasts that chased away your captain and crew when you all landed here. You recall how frustrated you were that they left you behind, a frustration that has long since faded now that you can count on the safety of Dracule Mihawk’s castle.

He walks past you now, a hand brushing briefly against your arm before he continues on to grab the spices across the kitchen.

Not an accident, surely. Nothing this man does is accidental.

That makes you think of the minuscule wanted poster you painted in the corner of your doorframe yesterday, in honor of the fear you first felt when you realized just who inhabited this place. Funny how frightened you were that first day. And the second day.

…and the third.

By the forth, however, you had figured out he likely wasn’t going to kill you.

By the fifth you’d determined that so long as you didn’t irritate him, he didn’t seem inclined to make you leave either. In fact, as days went on, you became fairly certain he didn’t mind your company.

Which is why you now play this foolish game of sneakily painting designs all around his castle.

You always considered yourself clever. Yet apparently all it takes are a few “accidental” touches and heavy looks for you to throw all your caution to the wind. Teasing a warlord, vandalizing his castle… such a perfect plan for long term survival.

Still, you do truly enjoy painting.

Your favorite are the flowers you painted along a small crack in the stones of the great hall, colored with a yellow that makes you think of his stunning eyes, the eyes that have over the last few months shifted from disinterest and disdain to… something else.

Something that makes you hope perhaps you won’t always be just a guest.

You’re not brave enough to make any moves yourself—never really have been when it comes to matters of the heart—but that won’t stop you from seeing just where these lingering glances and soft touches might eventually go.

Those same eyes stare at you again now as you make your way to the dining hall and pick at your food, separating the small bits of tomato from the rest of your meal. You bite back a smile as his gaze cuts down to your plate and he takes note of the rejected vegetable. Knowing him, he won’t use it in your meals again.

You honestly don’t know how a man so observant has not noticed your paintings yet.

“Do you need anything from the village?” Mihawk asks, startling you from your thoughts.

“I’m alright, I think,” you say. Given the nearest village is several islands away, you take a moment to think about it truly, but everything you need has been provided for you already. If anything, you’re far more comfortable here than you ever were with the crew you sailed alongside, a crew that only cared about you for your rough mapmaking skills—your least favorite thing to paint if you’re being honest—and were quick to abandon you when the first hint of danger appeared.

He nods and turns to his own plate. You try not to stare at the wall behind him, where you‘ve recently painted a tiny little figure sitting in a tiny little chair wearing a tiny black wide brimmed hat, hidden just at the base of the dining hall floorboards.

Trying not to giggle about it keeps you distracted through most of lunch.

“I’ll be off then,” Mihawk says as you both finish your meals, rising from the table.

“Be safe.”

Ah yes, because you need to tell the strongest swordsman in the world to be safe. You mentally kick yourself, but feel better when he offers you one of his rare almost smiles, even as he pauses by your chair.

“Don’t worry yourself,” he says, that confidence that you’ve come to admire woven through every inch of his words. “I highly doubt there will be anyone to challenge me. Truly a shame. Oh, as a note…”

“Yes?”

Your breathe hitches as he reaches out, gently taking your hand and lifting it towards him. You’re hyper aware of how strong his grip is. So powerful, yet intentionally gentle. Of how piercing his gaze is, those eyes that are so hard to meet, even as they set your heart racing. He lifts your hand to his lips and presses a slow, deliberate kiss against it.

Oh.

When he lowers your hand, he’s… smiling. Not just that almost smirk, but a real smile. Your heart lurches again at the sight. When he speaks, it takes you a long moment to process his words around the pounding of your heart.

“The entry hall could use a few more flowers, perhaps, if you must paint all over the walls.”

Then he’s off, leaving you stunned where you sit. Your draw your hand close to yourself, staring at the skin he kissed.

You hadn’t noticed it until now, but on the back of your hand is just the slightest smudge of dried purple paint from earlier.

As you run a finger along the paint, you find yourself hesitating. Then before you know it, you’ve risen from your chair and are hurrying to follow, to catch Mihawk before he leaves the castle.

Perhaps you need some supplies after all.

More paints. New brushes. A proper tray for mixing your colors… and maybe even a true kiss from the warlord you’ve fallen for.

#mihawk x reader #dracule mihawk #mihawk #one piece mihawk #one piece

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erose-this-name · 21 days

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Kabru is such a brilliantly written character, one of the best in Dungeon Meshi (which is a high bar as it is, most of the main cast are similarly genius).

His thing is that he is very friendly and nice confident and maxed out his charisma stat, but is also kinda ambitious and manipulative. But not in an overtly malicious way. Which kinda scares me.

The most impressive thing about him, writing wise, is that it’s all show-don’t-tell. He very frequently uses his charm and empathy and understanding of how people think in really clever ways. We’re often walked through his thought process of how he does these social deductions. We’re never told he’s scarily charismatic, besides other characters reacting to him being scarily charismatic.

Kabru is a natural-born leader and social engineer with superlative skills in both, which makes him the perfect foil for Laios, who’s too autistic and unambitious that he’s not even the de facto leader of his own party that he’s the official leader of. He’s so bad at leadership that his party just, sort of, doesn’t have a leader. They just kinda argue and do stuff.

What’s also neat, and perfectly inline with Meshi’s general theme of clever and logical subversions of fantasy tropes, is that Kabru’s character design in no way clues us in on this fundamental character trait of his.

He’s sort of a human fighter / knight archetype, which in the language of fantasy RPGs is a class most would associate with being a white bread jock, chivalrousness optional. (Laios subverts the same trope in the same way. It’s really funny that the walking exposition dump of the group looks like the character creator default preset spec’d as the most generic class available.)

If Kabru was a bard or noble and Laios a wizard, their character traits would be far less interesting

Even better is that we would expect someone who looks like Laios to have Kabru’s personality, and vice versa. Their character designs are flipped; the confident super charismatic leader is a short wide-eyed twink, while the slightly naive and very autistic monster enthusiast is a tall conventionally attractive Aryan lookin’ mf. (see what I mean by Kabru being such a good foil for Laios?? No wonder everyone ships them, they’re perfect for each other!)

Yet, their designs also work for them. Kabru just has a face that’s easy to talk to, his piercing blue eyes and curly hair gives him a false sense of naïveté, while his iconic 👁️👁️ expression hints that there’s actually quite a bit going on inside his head. Meanwhile, Laios believably looks like someone who doesn’t know what hair conditioner is. His armor’s collar gorget thing is also pretty dorky.

You can’t trust people like that (I mean overly charismatic people with a manipulative streak, not blue-eyed twinks) because you can’t know what their real motives are. You can’t know they aren’t pretending, you can’t know they aren’t trying to or haven’t already manipulated you. How could you? When he has so much more social intelligence than you do, average socially awkward Tumblr user? He’s touched all the grass!

In episode 16 (spoilers, btw) Kabru finally meets Laios’s party, who he’s been trying to find and fight for the better part of the season, and he just decides that no confrontation is necessary. Like, immediately upon meeting the guy. Just from how Laios looked at him. He figures that since Laios didn’t seem to recognize him, they either have never met meaning he has the wrong guy, or Laios forgot meaning he didn’t think it’d be a big deal, meaning the treasure was a trap or something. Which is pretty in line with Kabru’s established ability to always roll nat 20s for every charisma and deductive reasoning check, so cool.

But he doesn’t even seem curious about which of those cases is true. (He might be interested to find out some of the treasure wasn’t dangerous, but accidentally got thrown off a bridge). Much to Rin’s dismay, he’d rather just not bring it up because that could upset the leader of the party he might be working with for the foreseeable future.

Actions speak louder than words. So, all we really learn in this scene is that Kabru’s goals and M.O. can change on a dime, and that he values reputation and political capital more than money and vengeance. More than his own party’s desire for those things. Not only is he someone with a silver tongue, but he knows its value and is determined to use it at every opportunity.

Kabru and his party might not be very good at fighting or surviving in the dungeon, in fact their frequent TPKs are a running gag. But, he also doesn’t need to be when he can just manipulate Laios’ and Shuro’s much more proficient parties into helping him.

So far, Kabru seems like the most likely one to become king of the dungeon or whatever the mcguffin is. He is the only protagonist so far who has said that’s an actual goal of his. He’s said that he doesn’t think someone like Laios who isn’t a born leader should get it.

In fact, Kabru seems to have very strong opinions on what kinds of people should be allowed to adventure in the dungeon, evidenced by the fact that he murdered an entire party over it, justified or not. Kabru seems to think that Kabru is such a leader, and he’s probably right about that, but what kind of leader?

What would Kabru do with that kind of power if he gets it? Because I’m not sure. All I know is that he is the kind of person with the ability to use real political power to its full potential. For good, or for very, very bad.

I’m not saying that Kabru is evil or that he’s secretly gonna be the surprise villain. I dunno, I haven’t read the manga. He could just be a nice guy that’s just, like, is like that. Everything he’s done could be justified by the explanations he’s given. He actually reminds me a lot of one of my IRL friends, and I’d trust him with my life.

But, I can’t help but feel a distinct sense of unease whenever he’s on-screen. I try not to trust confident natural-born leaders like him right out of the gate. I don’t like that our instinct as humans is to blindly follow them without thinking about it.

Tyrants and psychopaths also use confidence and charm and a friendly demeanor to make people think they’re a good guy, while manipulating everyone into thinking their self-serving actions are altruistic. Benevolent, confident, skilled leaders do exist. But there exists many more snakes wearing their skin. Wolves rarely bother with sheep’s clothing, they dress as shepherds and sheepdogs.

Anyway, my point is that I think it’s kinda neat that it’s possible to overthink this much about a character whose probably just a nice guy that is the mirror opposite of an autistic person. Writing that kind of ambiguity is hard, and employing it in this way is inspired.

#writing #spilled thoughts #dungeon meshi #kabru of utaya #laios x kabru

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hyperfixatedbastard · 3 months

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sweet, sweet silence

Vox x Autistic!GN!Reader

Dating the CEO of VoxTek Enterprises has its perks. You always get brand new devices before they even hit the shelves, and occasionally, Vox makes things specifically for you - like noise-cancelling headphones.

Word Count: 1.3k

WARNINGS: none!

A/N: this is for the autistic homies but it works for anyone with sensory issues! 'tis based off of my own experiences so apologies if it feels inaccurate to anyone, i'm projecting so hard rn. this is also my first time writing x reader/2nd person POV so I hope I did alright! also, i do requests if anyone would like to see more of this kind of thing :)

Dividers

"Doll, c'mere for a second, would ya?" Vox calls out to you, gesturing for you to come to his desk with a 'come hither' motion.

You raise a brow in interest as you approach your boyfriend where he's sitting in his rather eccentric chair, tinkering with...something. You hop up onto the desk, careful to sit in a spot that you know has no important screens or buttons (you learned the hard way). You don't say anything, instead just tilting your head and waiting for Vox to show off whatever he's been working on this time.

He finally lets you see what's in his clawed hands: a pair of headphones. They're clearly a VoxTek product—the blue and red color scheme gives it away—though you're certain you've never seen these on sale before. It's not uncommon for Vox to show off new products to you before they're released, though, so you don't question it.

He smirks as he holds the headphones out to you. It's not that sly, devious smile he so often has on his screen, though; it's that grin you have when you're about to surprise someone and you just know they're going to love it. "These are for you, darling."

On one hand, you get a little excited (free shit, fuck yeah!). But on the other, you're a little worried—you're not good at receiving gifts. It always ends up awkward because you don't really know how to express gratitude in an expected, neurotypical way. But Vox is well aware of that, and he can tell when you're grateful, so you push those worries to the side and take the headphones from him.

You look at them curiously, inspecting the foldable hinges, the ear cushions, and the small assortment of buttons on the speakers. You can tell that the three buttons on the right speaker are for adjusting the volume—increase, mute, and decrease—but you have no damn clue what the button on the left speaker is for.

"Well? Put 'em on," Vox encourages you, still with that expectant grin as he anticipates your reaction.

You do as he says and place the headphones over your ears. They're certainly comfortable, but you don't see what the big deal is. You already have headphones—they’re not great, as it’s damn near impossible to drown out the unbearably overstimulating sounds of Hell, but you manage. Kinda.

Just as you’re about to ask what’s so special about these headphones, Vox presses that mystery button on the left speaker, and everything goes blissfully quiet.

Your eyes widen as you get the first moment of true silence for the first time since you arrived in Hell. The sudden difference is initially jarring, but the relief is downright euphoric.

During the entirety of your afterlife in Hell, it's been ceaselessly loud and often unbearable. The screams, the explosions, the gunshots—it's incessant, and you never get a moment of peace. The V Tower is not nearly as bad as the rest of the Pride Ring, thanks to a lot of soundproofing, but there's always something. Moans and other lewd noises fill the halls of anywhere within five floors of Valentino's studios. You can hear the screeching and yelling beneath the thrum of music emitting from Velvette’s section of the tower. 666 Studios isn't much better, with the constant chattering of the crew and bickering between newscasters.

Vox's lair office is by far the quietest place in the entirety of Hell, at least in your experience. The soundproofing here is much more effective than anywhere else in V Tower, and Vox is the only person ever here. He does talk and maniacally laugh to himself fairly often, but you don’t usually don’t mind that (and he’ll typically quite down if he can tell you’re having a rough day). But it’s far from perfect—there’s still the intermittent click-clacking of a keyboard, the constant whirring of the computer fans, the low humming of all the tech, and the audio from whatever security camera Vox is spying on. You can tune it out most of the time, but it all overwhelms you so, so easily.

And you aren't very good at hiding it (at least not with Vox, who’s too observant for his own damn good when it comes to you).

Which is why your dear boyfriend has just spent the past several days making you the best noise-canceling headphones Hell has ever seen. He knows what the constant overstimulation does to you, and he sees it far more often than he'd like to. You get irritated and snippy, and sometimes it gets so bad you have a meltdown. It's gotten less common over time, but it still happens way too frequently for either of your likings.

“So, who’s the best boyfriend ever?” he hints, clearly fishing for a compliment. His voice is surprisingly clear despite the headphones practically deafening you—his words are muffled, but just loud enough for you to understand what’s being said. He's grinning at you like he's the one that just got the excruciatingly heartfelt present.

Usually, you’d have a witty comeback to Vox’s attempts at getting you to stroke his ego (always followed by an actual, genuine compliment to ease his insecurities hiding behind that ego), but you’re drawing a blank right now.

The gift is so thoughtful that you don’t even know where to start on expressing your gratitude. Noise-canceling headphones seem so obvious now, but this is Hell! Both you and Vox had died before this technology became commonplace, and not many people in Hell care that much about the noise. Vox made these headphones specifically for you. He doesn’t need them (he can quite literally just turn off his audio input) and he probably won’t make much of a profit with them as a VoxTek product. He’s a busy man, being a CEO and an Overlord, yet he took the time to make this for you himself, not even passing the project off to one of the poor souls that works for him.

“Babe?” Vox calls out gently, waving a hand in front of your face. Oh, shit—you’re overthinking your response so much that you forgot to actually fucking respond.

You blink a few times, meeting your boyfriend’s gaze. His brows are slightly furrowed, in what you think is a mix of concern and amusement. He’s a little worried he’s fucked up somehow, but he knows you well enough by now to recognize when you’re thinking too hard about something. He actually finds it quite adorable, at least when you’re not about to have a panic attack from it.

As he looks at you expectantly, you decide to just go with your gut (at least, that’s what you think you’re doing—you’ve never entirely understood what the fuck that phrase means).

You don’t give yourself time to second-guess your actions before you’re practically jumping into Vox’s lap—though it’s more like falling since you were just sitting on the desk. He lets out a little ‘oof’ of surprise before he chuckles and moves his hands to your waist, holding you steady while being careful of his claws. He smirks as you wrap your arms around him and bury your face in his neck, jostling the headphones a little but not enough to fuck with the noise cancellation.

“So…you like them, then?” Vox prompts, just wanting the confirmation even though the answer is already clear. You can tell by his tone that he’s still grinning proudly.

You just gently nod, inadvertently rubbing your face against the fabric of his shirt (fortunately, Vox is a fancy bastard with high standards when it comes to clothing, and he’d long ago thrown out any garment made with fabric that triggered your sensory issues).

“Thank you,” you murmur against his neck.

His hands tighten ever so slightly around your waist, and his response is so soft you can barely hear it through the headphones. “Anything for you, doll.”

#hazbin hotel #vox x reader #vox x you #hazbin hotel vox x reader #hazbin hotel vox #vox hazbin hotel #hazbin vox #vox hazbin #the vees #autistic reader #gender neutral reader #hazbin hotel x reader #hazbin vox x reader

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megalony · 3 months

Text

Have You Slept

This is an Evan Buckley imagine based on a request and I am hoping to make it into a little series if anyone would like that. Any feedback is always amazing, I really loved writing this one.

Taglist: @lunaticspoem@sj-thefanthefan@hellsdragon@im-an-adult-ish@crazylittlethingg@allauraleigh@onceuponadetectivedemigod@ceres27@avyannadawn@sleepylunarwolf@coverupps@justagirlthatlovedtoread @musicistheway @avada-kedavra-bitch-187 @luula @missdreamofendless @bradleybeachbabe @woderfulkawaii @amberpanda99 @daggersquadphantom @marvel-and-chicago-fan @angryknightstatesmantrash @minjix @lyjen @kmc1989 @itsmytimetoodream @noonenuts @hiireadstuff @ashie-babie @classyunknownlover @jayyeahthatsme @sp1ritssz

911 Masterlist

Summary: Evan invites the team to meet his wife and twins who he is very protective over. As one of the boys is autistic and (Y/n) happens to have narcolepsy.

Enjoy.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"…It'll be great, Buck you're coming this time right?"

Evan paused a few feet away from the dining table in the station annex. He let his fingers continue to card through his wet locks that were forming into curls, flopping about near his forehead. He'd just had a shower and was ready to gulp down some lunch ready for whenever the bell sounded for their next call out.

He seemed to have missed the first part to whatever conversation was running rampid in the kitchen.

With a small, if confused smile, Evan walked over to the table and sat down opposite Eddie and Hen. He darted his eyes between the pair of them and Bobby and Chimney who were stood in the kitchen, finishing up grabbing plates and cutlery.

Evan had been working at the station for roughly a year now and it had been the best job he'd ever had. This had been the quickest that he had made friends in a new job and felt like he really fitted in with his co-workers. He could call these people his family, Bobby was more of a parent to Evan than his own parents were.

He felt at home with his work mates, unlike the other random jobs he'd had in the past like being a bar tender or the brief stint he had at being a bouncer. He didn't connect with people in those jobs and he didn't feel like he was making a difference like he did working at the fire house. But some things didn't change, like Evan's desire to keep his life separate from his work.

Working at the station made Evan feel excited about each new day on shift and he felt like these people were his family. They were a safe group of people to work alongside and call his friends.

"My uh, my first what?" He leaned forward in his seat and rested his elbows on the table with his hands tangled together.

The way Eddie grinned across at him and the knowing smile on Bobby's face made Evan relax and manage a smile himself. It couldn't be anything bad or somewhat awkward if they were being so relaxed about it.

"We were just talking about the annual summer party the station has every year. It happens to be next week."

"Oh, yeah."

It didn't seem that long ago that they had all been having a barbeque a month or so back.

Evan remembered when he first started at the station they had been throwing a big party here but he didn't feel close enough to anyone to attend. Then there had been the halloween party, the pictures made it look like a successful night, but Evan didn't go to that one either. Finn didn't like halloween so Evan had made sure he had the night off to stay home.

And as for the Christmas party they had, Evan had been on shift that night and he wasn't really bothered about attending so he was happy to work while everyone else went out partying.

They seemed to make any excuse to have a party, not that Evan was complaining. He'd never had parties at any other places he worked at before. This was a pleasant change.

Bobby had talked about them always doing a Christmas party and finding a few extra people to cover the shifts so the 118 could go all out and enjoy the festivities. Evan guessed they would do that for the summer party too, find more staff to cover so as many regular staff as possible could attend.

"Yes we are, and I'm hosting this year." Bobby grinned as he set down a large bowl of lasagne in the middle of the table and took his usual seat next to Evan.

Usually they had as many parties as they could in the station to promote families being around and being included. But they couldn't have a summer party indoors. It was the middle of the summer and that meant they needed to be outside, in the sun and the sweltering heat. It was more of an occasion when a party was at someone's house and Bobby and Athena were always up for hosting parties.

"Are you gonna come to this one?" Hen reached across the table and started to dish up the lasagne onto everyone's plate but her smile was directed at Evan. They always invited him but he hadn't attended one of their parties yet.

It was strange for the team to have someone like Evan in their midst. Someone who was so bubbly, excitable and eager and like a bubble of fun. He was one of them, well and truly, but he was still somewhat distant with the team. They were only just beginning to learn about Evan's private life. They knew he had a turbulent relationship with his parents. They knew he was married and had two kids but Evan didn't talk about them that much.

They had only just met Evan's wife last month and that was a flying visit. Eddie was the only one out of the whole team who knew (Y/n) because he had been to Evan's house and Evan and (Y/n) had taken care of Chris a few times.

"I guess I could swing by for a while."

"Really?"

A bubble of adrenaline sparked up in Evan's chest and he nodded when Hen sounded so enthusiastic and Eddie grinned and gave him a thumbs up. They wanted him there. They really wanted to be around him and interact with him. Evan guessed they really were becoming his family now.

"Can I bring my family with me?" Evan almost felt guilty for asking but if he was going to do this, he wanted his family there with him. He knew parties meant bringing loved ones along but he wanted to be sure, he would never want to turn up and then feel like no one wanted his family around.

Everyone had been kind to (Y/n) when Evan brought her to the station and he was glad she was starting to become friends with the people he classed as his family.

Evan knew his wife wasn't very outgoing so it was nice for her to be around more people.

"Of course you can, kid. Our parties are for everyone, we're all one big family here and you're included in that. Bring whoever you like." Bobby clapped a hand down on Evan's shoulder and nodded at him reassuringly. They all brought their families round, it was a party, an occasion to be together and have fun and games and eat and just be together without the threat of having to rush off on a call.

"I was wondering…" Evan looked down at his plate before he glanced up. This was something he had been wanting to ask everyone and now was a better time than ever. "If you'd all like to come round for dinner, with my family? It'd be easier to get to know them before the party."

It would be a lot easier for everyone if the team could come over to Evan's house and meet (Y/n) and the boys first before he brought them to the party. (Y/n) and Finn didn't last long at parties for various reasons and Cole would be the only one who would be fine to stay for hours.

Evan wanted them all to get along and know each other like Eddie knew (Y/n) and the boys. Evan wanted that relationship with all the team. They were his family now and they meant the world to him.

Evan knew (Y/n) was already excited at the prospect of getting to know the people Evan worked with. She felt like she already knew them from the stories Evan told her when he came home from shift and her first meeting with the team had gone great. It was (Y/n)'s idea for Evan to invite them round for tea one day so they could all get together in a relaxed setting. And Evan wanted that to happen now before the party so at the party, everyone would be more familiar.

"That sounds lovely, you have two boys, don't you?" Hen never wanted to push the subject of family when she was around Evan.

She didn't want to make him feel like he had to open up and talk about his private life if he didn't want to. But when Evan talked to them in a few calm moments, he had said he had two boys with (Y/n). He didn't say much else though, not their names or their age and (Y/n) hadn't mentioned when they saw her a few weeks back.

"Yeah, we've got twins, Cole and Finn. They're four… um, I know you guys won't make a fuss, but just so you know, Finn's autistic. He's non-verbal."

Evan glanced his eyes around the table. Eddie and Chimney knew. Eddie had met the boys before and Chimney was close to Maddie who was close to the boys. He needed to tell them now before they came round and got a little surprise when they met the twins.

"He doesn't speak?" Chimney kept a smile on his face and tried to control his tone so Evan didn't think he was being rude. He didn't know anyone with an autistic child and all of them knew disabilities varied.

"Oh, no he… he won't say words, but he isn't exactly quiet. He babbles. A lot of random noises, and if he wants something he'll just grab you and take you to it. He loves meeting new people, he's taking a liking to Eddie."

Finn didn't say a lot of words. He could say a few things like his name or a mushed up version of random, compiled words. And Finn could understand every word spoken to him, he just couldn't quite talk yet but they were hoping he could start to learn soon. He would make a lot of noises, squealing when he was happy, screaming when he was sad. A lot of high pitch babbling when he was playing or concentrating or just happy.

When he first met Eddie, Finn attached himself to him. He took his hand and guided him into the kitchen and waited patiently for Eddie to make him a drink. Then he followed him around like a little shadow, always wanting to be close and entertained by him.

"I can't wait to meet him."

"Oh… and uh, no one has a problem with dogs, do they?" Evan glanced around the table as a light bulb went off in his head.

He'd almost forgotten about Dodger.

"Wow, full house, twins and a dog?" Bobby pushed his plate away and moved to grab his drink. It had been a while since Bobby had had a full house with Harry going to stay with his dad a lot and May getting ready to move out.

"Dodger's a service dog, for (Y/n) so if he starts barking or circling, don't mind him."

"What kind of service?" Hen could think of at least five different reasons someone would have a service dog and she wouldn't want to presume anything. But since Evan was opening up, she thought it might be good to get him talking to them. (Y/n) hadn't brought her service dog into the station when Evan introduced them, but Hen figured that was because Evan hadn't been on shift those days.

"(Y/n)'s got narcolepsy, random sleep attacks and cataplexy. You're all in for a treat when you come round mine next week."

***

Evan rolled his lips together and tilted his head to the side when he walked into the kitchen. His eyes darted between Dodger and (Y/n) before he slowly walked over to them both.

(Y/n) was stood near the sink, two glasses and two beer bottles in front of her. She looked like she was re-filling the drinks for everyone, but her hands were subtly shaking on the counter and she was stood motionless. When Evan looked down at Dodger, he could see the golden brown Labrador was sat faithfully at her left side. Nudging his nose against her leg and shifting his front feet around like he was tap-dancing.

A jolt ran through (Y/n)'s stomach and her chest tingled when a strong pair of arms bound around her waist. She tilted her head back onto Evan's shoulder and glanced up at him, moving a little so she could catch his jaw with a kiss.

"You spaced, sweetheart." He spoke quietly against the top of her head while his hands danced over her stomach and slipped beneath her shirt to feel her bump.

"Hm," Her head tilted to push into the crook of Evan's neck and she moved her hands to cup his wrists.

With her narcolepsy, (Y/n) had a lot of side effects. Whenever she or Evan told people about her condition, they immediately jumped to the conclusion that she was lazy or just had a lot of naps during the day.

No one seemed to realise the side effects it had. (Y/n) had to schedule her sleep, go to bed at roughly the same time and try to get up at the same time each day to regulate her body clock. She was excessively tired most days. She had random sleep attacks that could be for a few seconds or a few minutes or even longer, they didn't always happen. (Y/n) could go three or five days or even a week or longer without an attack of any length.

It affected her dreams, she had vivid dreams, horrid nightmares, she acted out and lashed out in her sleep and unintentionally rolled onto Evan or hit him by mistake. She got sleep paralysis quite often.

Headaches were continuous. And narcolepsy came with cataplexy, which was where she had sudden loss of muscle control. That could be her jaw slacking, her head dropping forward, her legs going numb and giving out on her. Slurred speech or difficulty focusing or paying attention.

"You okay?" Evan spoke into her hair and leaned his cheek against the top of her head.

"Yeah, didn't last long."

She hadn't spaced out for long. It didn't happen too often that (Y/n) had microsleeps where she would either close her eyes or her eyes would stay open but her mind would shut down for a few seconds. It could last between ten seconds to a few minutes for a microsleep but (Y/n) didn't get them very often.

"Have you slept today?" Evan kept one arm curved tight around (Y/n)'s stomach while he reached across the counter and finished pouring the two glasses of juice (Y/n) had started.

Routines for sleep helped (Y/n) and she tried not to take naps during the day to keep a regular sleep schedule. But now she was pregnant again, she was trying to take at least one small nap during the day. It stopped her feeling so tired and lessened the chances of random sleep attacks. It was hard enough looking after the twins when they weren't at nursery, (Y/n) didn't need to collapse in front of them.

"Not today," She hadn't had chance to take a nap today, not with the boys being pumped up and excited about having people over for dinner. There was a lot for (Y/n) to prepare and get ready and now the team were here, there was no way she could take a power nap now.

(Y/n) slowly turned around in Evan's arms and pressed her hips up against the counter while her hands roamed up and down his chest. She loved the way his hands squeezed her hips and tried to slip beneath her leggings until she shimmied to stop him.

"We have guests- Finn, what are you doing to uncle Eddie?" Her hands scrunched up into Evan's shirt when he stood closer between her legs.

But both their heads turned to look over at the kitchen doorway when Finn appeared. He had a wide grin on his features, obscured by his thumb that he was biting down on. And his other hand was tightly gripping Eddie's hand as he dragged him from the conservatory where they were having dinner and brought him all the way through into the kitchen.

Eddie had his free hand on his hip, but he was happy to be shown around by Finn. The moment Eddie walked through the door, Finn had attached himself to his leg while Cole had gone straight to Bobby because he knew he was the Captain at the station.

Evan leaned closer into (Y/n) and grinned when Finn toddled past him and dragged Eddie behind him like he was a dog on a leash.

He moved towards the fridge and stood in front of it, pointing up at the fridge as he started to make a noise that sounded somewhat like 'wow' over and over.

"What're you after?" Eddie leaned down and scooped Finn up into his arms so he could look into the fridge and find what he clearly wanted. When Finn pointed to the small cartons of apple juice, Eddie held one out towards (Y/n) and waited for a nod of approval before he handed it over to Finn and set him back down to his feet.

Evan held out one of the beer bottles towards Eddie on his way past following after Finn.

"Shall we?" He mumbled quietly in (Y/n)'s ear, keeping his arm tight around her waist as he grabbed the two glasses in one hand while (Y/n) got the other beer bottle. She leaned her back into Evan's chest while Dodger trotted faithfully by her side.

She didn't always take Dodger out with her but she did if Evan wasn't with her. The moment he started working at the fire station, Evan started to worry. (Y/n) was at home alone with twin boys, one of whom was always on his feet and quite a handful. He didn't like the thought of (Y/n) collapsing or hurting herself or falling unconscious with toddlers around and no one to help.

Dodger solved that problem. He could sense (Y/n)'s heartbeat and if her heartbeat dropped, then she was about to fall asleep. He whined and cried and nudged her arm or circled around her legs to get her to sit down. If she dropped or fell, Dodger would try and let her fall on him so he could nudge her onto the floor. And if (Y/n) had a microsleep, he circled around her so if they were in public, people knew something was wrong. Dodger would bark at any stranger that tried to come near or touch (Y/n).

They headed into the conservatory and (Y/n) placed the beer down in front of Bobby before she passed behind him to sit down next to Hen.

"Do you drive the truck too?" Cole leaned back in his seat and looked up from the toy truck in his hand towards Hen who was sat on his right. He was happily wedged between Hen and Chimney while Bobby, Evan and Eddie on the other side of the table. And Finn was happily sat on Evan's knee, although his focus was mainly on Eddie.

"Sometimes, but I normally drive the ambulance."

"Can daddy drive the ambulance?" He looked between Hen and Bobby, waiting patiently for an answer as he had been asking questions since the moment they arrived.

"We don't let your dad drive, he's Mr speedy."

Evan tilted his head up with a proud smile when Cole grinned and murmured "I like daddy's driving." He put his truck down next to him on the table near Chimney and started to eat his dinner again.

"That's only because I don't drive." (Y/n) glanced her head up and bit her lip when Evan's foot glided up her leg and nudged her in the knee in retaliation. The boys weren't used to anyone but Evan and Maddie driving them around, and it was mainly Evan.

If they went out with (Y/n) she had to walk or take the bus and wear her sunflower lanyard just in case she had an episode while they were out. The boys were used to Evan driving so if he cut the corners or went a bit fast, that was a normality to them and they felt safe with Evan because they were used to his driving. (Y/n) couldn't drive, she had never taken lessons and never could. It would be too dangerous.

"So, how far along are you?"

"Five and a half months." (Y/n) absentmindedly smoothed her hand across her abdomen as she smiled across at Hen. She leaned across the table for a piece of garlic bread and held one out to Finn. The four year old was currently stood up on Evan's lap, leaning back into his chest with their heads pressed together. It would make for a lovely photo since Finn was grinning madly.

"So we've only got Buck for another three months then?" Bobby knew Evan would be asking him for annual leave soon. Evan wanted to get his time off sorted out now so it was set in stone. He had to be home for at least two weeks after the baby was born. When (Y/n) had the twins she hadn't been well at all and Evan didn't want that happening again with him not being able to stay home and help her.

"Afraid so."

"I don't know how you're all gonna cope without me."

Evan leaned his head to the left and a soft smile flooded his face when Finn started to kiss his hair. He began making a bopping sound while his hands rested on Evan's shoulders to keep himself stood upright on his dad's lap.

A new line of conversation flooded the air and Evan tried to keep focused and chip in but his eyes kept landing on (Y/n) across the table.

She had her chin resting on her hand with her elbow propped up on the table and her other hand was on her stomach. But it was the dazed look in her eyes that worried him. She wasn't talking either and if she started to drift, she might end up having another microsleep.

He moved his leg beneath the table and rubbed his foot up against her knee to try and grab her attention. The action made (Y/n)'s lips twitch and she lifted her eyes to look at Evan before she tried to look back at Hen for the conversation. She had one of her usual headaches. She had been feeling a lot more drowsy and tired lately and she knew it was because of the baby.

(Y/n) didn't feel so ashamed or embarrassed now to say that she was overly tired or that she needed to start taking naps during the day again. She was pregnant and was already looking after twins.

She always used to feel like she needed excuses to be tired, so people wouldn't think she was lazy. Evan always put her mind at rest. She had a condition that couldn't be cured or helped, it could only be controlled. And Evan never wanted (Y/n) to feel like she had to find excuses to explain the way she felt. Especially not around him.

"Thank you." Evan whispered quietly when Finn kissed his temple and leaned over to hug him. He moved his hands from his dad's shoulders to wrap them around Evan's neck and he giggled when Evan started to sway them from side to side.

Whenever Finn couldn't sleep ever since he was a toddler, Evan used to pace up and down the room swaying him back and forth. Evan barely got whiplash or felt dizzy from the hundreds of times he had gone in circles because the motion was so soothing to Finn.

Evan smiled as Chimney started to go into the long-winded reasoning behind his nickname.

But his smile started to drop when he heard Dodger suddenly bark.

Evan lifted his head and leaned towards Eddie on his left to try and look over the end of the table. Dodger was prancing his weight between his front feet and he started to nudge his nose and mouth against (Y/n)'s thigh. That meant he was sensing (Y/n)'s heartbeat starting to drop.

She was going to fall asleep.

"Sweetheart-" Evan bolted up from his seat when (Y/n)'s head slipped off her hand and dropped forward.

Her arm flopped down onto the table with a loud thud but before her head could land in her dinner, Evan swiftly caught her. He juggled Finn in his left arm, keeping the toddler pinned against his chest while his right hand pressed against (Y/n)'s temple. He leaned his hips into the table and leaned across, trying to stop himself from landing in anyone's dinner.

His thumb swiped across (Y/n)'s hairline while he tensed his elbow to keep his arm straight and hold (Y/n)'s weight up. He could feel her chest digging into the edge of the table, she had gone fully limp which meant this was more than a microsleep like she'd had earlier.

"Wow, hey I've got her. Good catch." Hen placed her hand over Evan's on (Y/n)'s temple and swooped her free arm around (Y/n)'s shoulders so he could carefully reel her back. She leaned (Y/n) back in her chair and held the back of her neck so her head didn't flop back and cause her any neck pain.

Eddie wordlessly reached out to take Finn while Evan scooted round the back of the chairs and moved next to (Y/n)'s chair.

"Good boy." Evan clicked his tongue and pointed until Dodger backed up and sat near the conservatory door just behind (Y/n)'s chair. He knew to move back when Evan was around but he always stayed dutifully close just in case he was still needed.

Evan pushed up on his knees and rubbed one hand up and down (Y/n)'s knee while he cradled the side of her neck in his other hand. He let her head loll to the side so she was facing him and he pressed his fingers over pulse just to check it was still steady and calm.

"Can we do anything?"

"She'll come round in a minute, she's fine."

He leaned over to kiss (Y/n)'s shoulder while he waited. It didn't usually take long for her to come back around. Evan had only had it once where (Y/n) had a sleep attack that lasted half an hour. That was the longest he had ever known (Y/n) to have an attack for and it had scared the daylights out of him.

"Mummy falls asleep but dad always catches her." Cole grinned up at Chimney before he glanced down at the other end of the table.

It was a normality for the twins. Cole was used to seeing his mum space out or see her stumble when her legs gave out from her cataplexy or when she head-dropped frequently like this. He had been brought up to know it was normal for his mum and that it wasn't scary or dangerous and he knew how to help if it happened when they were alone. And Cole always knew his dad would look after (Y/n) when it happened.

Finn didn't seem to take much notice. He had grown up around this happening so it wasn't frightening for him. He would just sit by (Y/n) and wait for it to wear off which was a relief for Evan to know it never scarred Finn or sent him into a meltdown.

"There we go," Evan's thumb brushed across (Y/n)'s cheek and he smiled when a small groan murmured past her lips.

Her head leaned into the palm of his hand and her eyes started to flutter and blink rapidly. A headache burned behind her eyes and spots danced in front of (Y/n)'s eyes when she managed to focus her sights on Evan. She must have dropped off for him to of moved so quickly down in front of her like this.

A shiver rolled down her arm when she felt Hen gently take her left wrist and check her pulse out of habit.

"I- sorry… how long?" (Y/n) tilted her chin down into her chest and tried to clear the fuzzy feeling from her head. It always felt like her head was being filled with air and the blood drained down to her toes. She shakily reached her hand up to hold Evan's wrist and brush her thumb across the back of his hand.

But when she looked over at Eddie, her expression dropped as he checked his watch. "Half an hour."

"Oi! Don't panic her like that." Evan reached behind him and swatted his hand out against Eddie's knee who rose a brow and grinned. He knew (Y/n) couldn't tell how long she had zoned out for and she hated to have an episode in front of friends in case it did last a while and she ruined things. "You were out for a minute, baby. That's all."

Leaning forward, Evan kissed her shoulder before he reached out and grabbed the stool in the corner. He dragged it across so he could sit at the end of the table close to (Y/n). Now she had had one episode, she was liable to have another and he wanted to sit nearby ready for if another happened and he had to catch her again.

Evan had acquired lightning reflexes since being with (Y/n) and he thought of it as his super power, being able to catch her before she fell or her head dropped.

He curved his arm around her waist and gripped her thigh soothingly while (Y/n) held his arm and leaned her head on his shoulder.

"Does it happen often?"

"It's not as bad as it used to be… when I had the twins my cataplexy flared up every day." (Y/n) shivered at the thought. She could still remember when she was pregnant with the twins and the amount of times her head would drop or her legs would give way.

She remembered having to call Evan at work and ask him to come home because she'd had an episode and her head had slammed so hard and fast into the dining table that she gave herself a nosebleed that wouldn't stop.

At least with this pregnancy, so far things felt a little easier and her cataplexy wasn't playing up nearly as much.

Eddie leaned back in his chair and looked up at Finn when he started to babble something. The four year old began tapping his palm against his lips, making an odd popping sound that distorted whatever he was trying to say. Usually Finn's sounds weren't related to anything he wanted, he would make happy sounds or mush up words but if he wanted something he would just point.

"What's up mister?" He bounced Finn on his hip until Finn stood up on his thighs and pointed his hand over at Evan and (Y/n). "What… do you want your dad?"

Evan leaned back against (Y/n)'s chair and grinned over at his boy, but the smile faded from his face immediately when Fin started to babble.

"Daddy. Daddy, daddy. Daddy."

"Oh my God," (Y/n) pushed forward in her chair, bracing her hands on the table as she darted her eyes between Finn and Evan. She needed confirmation that she'd just heard that correctly. Did he just say that?

"What?… You said he babbles-"

"Yeah but he's never said my name before." Evan ran his fingers through his hair before he pushed up from the table. "He's never said a proper word- he's said my name!"

Finn didn't speak. That was why Evan had told the team beforehand about Finn being autistic and non-verbal. He could say something that sounded similar to his name which usually came out as 'min-min' when he babbled. He made a lot of strange and happy sounds and 'ow-wow' noises but Finn didn't pronounce or speak.

The doctor had said there was every possible chance that in the future and when he went to a school that focused on speech and language, Finn had a good chance of talking. He might not say full sentences or pronounce properly, but there was a chance of him talking. He could understand words. Finn knew every word that was spoken to him and he could comprehend speech and conversations he just didn't respond.

(Y/n) could feel the tears welling up in her eyes when Evan bolted up from his seat and leaned across the table to take Finn from Eddie.

He settled Finn on his chest and planted a sloppy kiss on his cheek, unable to stop the broad smile from lighting up his face. He sat back down next to (Y/n) and started tickling Finn who continued to repeat 'daddy' so loud and fast it mushed together and came out all jumbled. But when he started to tap his hand on Evan's shoulder, it just cemented that he knew what he was saying.

He knew who Evan was and how to say his name.

(Y/n) perched her chin on Evan's shoulder and pressed her lips to his neck while she heard the rest of the team cheering. Evan was never going to let her live this down. He wasn't going to let her forget that Finn said his name first. That his first word, his first big achievement, was saying Evan's name.

"Daddy."

"Clever boy."

#evan buckley #evan buckley x reader #imagine #911 imagine #pregnant! reader #evan buckley imagine #pregnancy #buck x reader #buck imagine #have you slept

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krashoutluv · 3 months

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HIII

if you're taking requests, could you write about reader trying to get off on those long pillows (a bolster) and jason/dick comes and helps out? tysmm (no pressure)

i would love to write for Dick but i need to read his comics. Luckily i have Nightwing 2021, just needa read it. so maybe expect dick content soon lol (maybe if im autistic enough for him idk though.)

Comic!Jason Todd x GN!Reader NSFW (ANON RQ)

thigh riding to dick riding (unprotected, hair pulling ((both ways)) praise, cum !! ermmm yeah.)

nicknames jason uses: hun, love, doll, doll-face, honey, sweetheart, darling, baby (JASON ‘GIVING PRAISE GETS ME HORNY’ TODD) (THAT GOES BOTH WAYS)

THE thin fabric of the pillow wasn’t enough. You’d gotten nowhere close to a fuckin’ orgasm, hole felt so god-damn empty, it left you a panting frustrated mess, head tilted back, sweat pooling at your poplit.

(THE BACK OF UR KNEE CALMMM DOOWWNN)

You jumped at the sound of the window promptly sliding open. Damn it. The whole reason you were using this thing, you wanted to get off before Jason came back. One, you needed to walk tomorrow, two, you didn’t wanna keep him up. Of course he could stay up for weeks on end, but that doesn’t mean he has to.

He slipped through the window and almost didn’t notice you. Jason reached down to start taking off his boots then his head shot up to look at you. Skin polished with sweat, heaving breaths, puffy eye bags, that pillow. Oh, he’ll throw that damn thing out if this is what it did to you.

“Darling?” He asked lowly.

You mumbled a string of words that loosely formed few sentences of how you didn’t wanna bother him, how you just wanted to get off— and oh, welcome back!

You know, he could’ve sworn he heard something about needing to walk but he’s not totally sure or anything so…

“Bother me?—“ He began stepping toward you while taking off his helmet. “— and have I done something to inflict you with such a ghastly thought?” he playfully tantalized you. But you could only whimper out a response. Jason cupped your face in his palms, he looked at your drowsy doe eyes and glossy lips, he pressed his mouth on yours tenderly. The little noise you let out made intoxicated him. Jason placed his hands on your hips and started pulling you off that damn pillow and closer to the side of the bed. He pressed sloppy open mouth kisses down to your neck, soft moans leaving his lips with each one.

He could’ve sworn he heard you say you needed to walk tomorrow in between puffy gasps, but, he wasn’t exactly sure. Jason pulls you up against his body while kissing you, his hand snaking to your back, tugging at your shirt. You pull the shirt off and Jason sits back onto the bed, only his legs touching the floor.

He guides you on-top of him while he hushes promises and dapples kisses over every part of your skin he wants ,

‘I’ll take care of you hun.’

‘You’ll neva’ need that thing again love.’

He pressed his thigh against your hole, you quickly started rocking yourself against him, ’ uh-huh, back n’ forth doll.’ His firm thigh muscle and the texture of this combat pants gave you everything that fucking pillow didn’t. Jason was barely jerking his leg up and down, but those little movements were knocking you over your edge. ‘Just like that? Yeah I know..’ Jason touched himself through his pants at the same pace as you fucked yourself on his thigh, precum eventually leaving its mark on the cloth. Every motion of your hips made your head tilt back a little further; mewling while grabbing at Jasons hair. Jason praising you throughout it, both hands following your thighs, ‘Thats it love, better then that—“ you pulled at his hair.” “ah— fuckin’ pillow huh?’ The vendetta he had against that pillow was crazy. Your grinding became more sharp, every jolt of his hips had your jaw dropping. Your hips trembled, back arching, sputtering out moans and gasps as you melted on his thighs. Jason kept rutting his hips for a few moments until you came down from your pleasure high. He took your fingertips and kissed them, then led your hand down to the wet spot on his thigh. ‘Made a pretty little mess out of yourself all f’me?”

He squeezed your face in his palms, holding your head still and watching you pant. He skimmed his bottom lip on yours, teasing you, seeing if you’ll bite. You did, hotly pressing your lips on his. Sucking on his bottom lip, biting at it. When you pulled off Jason slipped his tounge into your mouth. He barely got to huff out his sentence, being cut out by his own impulsive kisses,’Need—mmh—more doll?’

You pleaded for him, whining in his ear about how you needed him. He noted that you didn’t say you needed to walk tomorrow so. He pulled your hips up for a moment so he could unbuckle his pants and pulled down his boxers, his cock popping out of his pants. The cold steel of his belt skimmed at the back of your plush skin. He reached over to your nightstand grabbing the lube and quickly pumping his cock, even if for just a few moments the sound was obscene. He pushed two fingers into your hole, ‘Gonna make you feel so fuckin’ good..’ he panted as he lubed your core, stretching you out as much as he can with his calloused hands. Jason popped his fingers back out and guided your hips onto him, slowly pushing into you. You couldn’t even be gritty about the slow stretch of his dick, he knew every part of him felt fucking good and of course he was gonna use it. Once you were fully on, he grabbed your plush hips, choked out sobs leaving your mouth while Jason talked filth as he started grinding his cock into your wet hole. He grabbed your hair and directed your head to look at him ‘Thas’ it, let me see how good im doin baby.’

Once Jason was sure you were all stretched from the fucked out eyes you were giving him and the way he effortlessly pushed through you, he trailed your hips up and down his dick. You started moaning for him to go faster, oh who would he be to deny you? Jason started pumping his cock into you while purring how ‘he’s got you,’ and to ’let him handle it will you?’ and fuck he did. Rhythmically pounding all those spots that he had memorized while sucking hickies into your neck, he had you seeing stars. The metal of his belt chiming with every motion of you two, coldness slapping against your soft skin. Your body melting against his while he thrust into you, hips jolting as he started grabbing at your ass. Cries leaving your lips with every feverish bounce of his cock. You shuddered as your walls spasmed all over him, letting your body go limp as you spilled on his dick. He continued fucking you through orgasms until the only thing you could feel in between your thighs was his pulsating cock and the wet mixture of sweat and cum.

His grip on your waist tightened, sure to leave little crescents of his nail marks. Louder grunts and curses choked out of his mouth as he rutted into you. ‘M’ making you feel good right? Better then that pillow right?’ You took notice on how his voice was getting more whiny. He wrapped his arm around your waist as he buried his face into your neck . ‘Jason let me see you’ you whimpered out. He didn’t move, still focused on that feeling of his cock as you pulsed around him and the slick noises of your twos bodies. You took your hand and harshly pulled at his black locs so he’d look at you. He let out a pornish moan when you rocked his head backwards, eyelashes fluttering as he frantically bucked his hips up while cumming. His eyes rolling to the back of his head, grip tightening with every pulse of pleasure that rolled down his spine. He looked up at you, cursing weakly as he stared at you with tired pleasure filled eyes. Breathless gasps leaving both of your mouth as he comes down from his high, he slowly grinds his hips into you while you both fall limply into each others necks. He rubs circles into your skin, only having the energy to murmur ‘I love you’s’ while weakly pressing kisses onto you.

fuck that pillow (jason thinks about humping it)

this was fun to write it just took me way to fucking long, i had like four ideas for this shit man.

#jason todd x gn!reader #jason todd x you #jason todd imagine #jason todd x reader #jason todd smut #red hood x gn!reader #red hood x reader #red hood smut #red hood imagine #krash responds to u

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