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#having a hobby that’s not something I’m trying to make a career out of
zzencat · 25 days
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Why Do I Still Feel Unsatisfied? - Timeless Reading (for anyone)
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When things are content and slow, going normally as one would expect, you still feel like there’s something not quite right—something missing. Now what? Are you supposed to be happy? You have everything you need…what is there to complain about? Why is life so stale? So boring? Am I doing enough in my life? What is this stagnant energy?
Note: Social media may have an influence on these feelings.
- Remember: clear your mind. Close your eyes, take a deep breath, fill up your chest to the fullest, feel the air brush against the ridges of your nose. Breathe out. Choose the photo that you can’t take your eyes off of.
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Pile 1. To Speed Up or To Slow Down.
You might be in denial. You try to think that you’re okay and you’re doing well enough—you have everything you need to survive, so what’s the matter with you? What’s the hold up? Are you going out on the weekends to the same places? Maybe repeating the same old routine, with or without friends? Perhaps you’re staying home and indulging in the same habits every weekend. Why are you just lounging around in the kitchen or living room with an oversized shirt and running your hands through your hair, wondering what to do now that you have time? It’s getting boring and you need some spice to your life.
Try looking into a hobby that you had interest in during childhood. Maybe you were shunned for having a such an interest. Do you do a lot of online shopping? Have you ever wanted to start your own business or clothing line? Honestly, to me it feels like you’re financially stable or on your way there and you know you will be. But it feels passionless. Maybe you had passion in the beginning and it died out. The excitement wasn’t there anymore, or maybe you had to be in this profession because you had to. To impress parents, guardians, the people around you. I feel like this group could do well with a side hustle or multiple. You seem like well-adaptable people so you could deal with the uncertainty and unpredictability. You also seem very friendly, like a team player type of person. You do what your told, and have small moments where you count as “rebellious.” Perfectionistic. My mind keeps going back to this…maybe you want to open up your own online shop? Or clothing/beauty brand or business? You might struggle when things get too quiet at a hangout with your friends or other people, maybe feeling pressured to say something or lighten the mood. For some reason, it’s always your responsibility to do something. Who put that on you? Where did you learn that from? That you should take charge and try to do something or else it’s your fault? Why do you feel inclined to do that? These would be good questions to think about.
The Challenge For You: Pick up a hobby and perfect it. It helps to record yourself working on this hobby, mistakes and all, and post it somewhere where people can see. Closest friends, family, or complete strangers. The reaction will make your more relatable and you’ll gain a lot of support. I’m seeing a soft smile and a genuine pat (“you’re doing good! you got this!” vibe) from your friends or people online. For example, “Day 1 of playing the violin” or “Day 30 of frisbee throwing”. This group seems to be heavily reliant on validation, internal or external. You need people to be there to see when you’re doing well, and people shouldn’t see your mistakes and if they do, you’ll try to move on while beating yourself up in your head. Very perfectionistic and while this helps you in your career or professional life, you should allow yourself to make mistakes, laugh about it, and be more soft towards yourself. Perhaps you got shamed for making a bunch of mistakes when you were younger, taught that mistakes aren’t okay and that you should be perfect, but all the energy here—from my spirit team to yours—is telling you that it’s okay to not get it the first time. Humans are meant to adapt and grow. There’s no fun in getting something the first time around. It’d be beginner’s luck. It’s about the journey and what you put into it that will add tremendously to your charm. It makes you human and it makes you, you. So learn to forgive yourself and build up that confidence.
Points of Interest: xxfj vibes, but mainly isfj/infj, nurse, libra, middle person/mediator, trying to get out there more, lowkey don’t want to socialize all the time but is forced to (whatever this may mean to you, take it), needing validation from others bc your own doesn’t count, suppression, “busy is good”, inner loneliness, void in heart, helping others but not yourself, “was it always this quiet or was i just used to the noise?”, slow down, hustle culture, “this is what I should be doing” (very vague, could mean different things…but this definitely applies to people in this pile), people pleaser…messy hair, in a rush, busy, busy, busy…“Damn it- why isn’t this thing working?!”, coffee, too much coffee, “dude, are you okay?”, stress, “living life in the fast lane as they say…” (for some reason, maria by justin bieber came up- we got any beliebers in here?), social media, parents, boss, workplace, Jane(?), idk why the black mirror episode called “joan is awful”, “I’ll take what I can get”, don’t want to burden other people, fear of humiliation, standards on other people are not as high as the standard you put on yourself, anxious, always moving, check, check, check…restless energy, “it’s on me”, responsibility…
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Pile 2. “I guess…” is not an answer.
This pile floats between pile 1 and 3 but leaning towards 1. The people in this group could share many of the same doubts and feelings as pile 1. But I will say, if you felt drawn to all or any of the other two alongside this one, I suggest you reading those as well. This gives me very infp vibes. Shy but likes to/would like to dress up a bit more, follow the fashion culture, find your own style. There’s a bit of a childlike nature to this group and I’m not sure what it is. Like maybe a financial insecurity or you want to date someone really badly. Like a person who watches a bunch of kdrama’s but never goes outside OR you do go outside and you don’t have the balls to ask someone out. I’m getting couch potato but a cute one. Curled up in a blanket and binge watching in bed. Watching other people chase their dreams and goals while you’re still wondering what yours are. Do you binge-watch a lot of shows or movies? I feel confused reading this pile, as if I’m supposed to be looking for something but I’m either not mature enough or I just don’t know what to look for. Probably struggles with parasocial-ness. Very online, maybe chronically online, if I might add. Maybe you’ve never gone out on a date before. If you did, you’d be super awkward, say something dumb on accident, giggle too much, or just full on shy, laughing a lot, red faced. Do you struggle with a lot of anxiety? A lot of daydreaming or fantasizing. If your friends ask you to go out with them, you either say yes immediately or you make up an excuse of why you can’t go just to lounge at home. But I feel frustrated. I don’t know where to look. Maybe you prefer to rock out with your headphones, blast music, and have a dance party in your room by yourself. Timid. Can be sassy at times. Probably dramatic. Do you still live with your parents, by any chance? I’m getting middle class to lower upper class, maybe even upper (but a lot less so.) Kind of spoiled energy. Maybe people have done things for you your whole life or have chosen the path for you to be on already. Maybe they’ve made decisions for you your whole life.
The Challenge For You: Go outside more and be more observant of people, especially if you think you struggle with social ineptness. If you’re timid, maybe your voice is too quiet that it draws people’s attention or you’re so anxious that you do something loud or reckless that captures attention. Do you have an interest in something that you could capitalize on? Like something in the arts? Maybe you can sell art online, draw for people, get yourself out there without engaging in fights online—it’s not worth your time, I promise. Put your phone down and read a book. Find something you like outside your phone or on any of your devices. This group seems constantly overstimulated with devices that you can never just sit and stare at the wall for a minute. It would help for you to think about the future for a little bit, even if it overwhelms you. If you’re in high school, get a part time job or do research on something you like. Practice gratitude and acknowledge the things that you have that others don’t. There’s a lot of immaturity, emotionally as well, in this pile, like you haven’t figured yourself out yet and you’re just waiting for things to fall into place. If I had to sum this up, it would be to pursue something that you can’t let go of and don’t let other people decide for you. Be more assertive and work on leadership skills. Work on time management as well. Laziness could also be an issue. Find yourself.
Points of Interest: infp vibes, dreamy, pursed lips, fidgeting, immaturity, “maybe if I dress normal, I’ll look normal”, dresses in all black, oversized shirts, beanies(?), don’t bring attention to me, small handwriting or circular letters, pink lead pencil, makes hearts on your “i’s”, secret romantic, easily jumps to conclusions, expectations, “daddy bought it for me”, be more thankful, ambition where?, do something you love and make a job out of it, oversleeping, “i don’t wanna think about it”, impulsivity, anxiousness, effort, purpose, going with the flow…
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Pile 3. “Let’s get this over with.”
Feeling very much a laaaarge lack of energy here. Very drained pile—emotionally, physically, mentally, some or all. Sometimes you feel it’s tiring to keep smiling, like you have to force it to seem okay. You’re in need for some warmth in your life, maybe some hugs or people telling you they’ll be there for you (and mean it), but you may or may not express this need to people; I’m mostly feeling that you keep to yourself a lot, not wanting to burden people. Very introverted energy, like “I’m just here” energy. If you go out, you don’t talk a lot or you need a drink/substance to help you loosen up and talk/act. Are you always tired? Staying up late and staring at a screen, or struggling with insomnia? Or it’s the opposite and you sleep too much—the whole day. Lethargic energy. There’s not much to say about this pile because I think you already know what to do, you just struggle. This could be a health issue or concern that you’re not taking seriously. Are you taking vitamins? I’m getting a zombie or very sedated state. Skin losing color and dark eye bags or under eye circles. Could struggle with depression. You don’t want to be forgotten but you want to be alone. You’re okay with solitude. Maybe you struggle with motivation in general, or motivation to take care of yourself, again, health is coming up—other people could be concerned about you and they tell you or they don’t. I would take a closer look regarding your friend group and maybe reconsider who you’re letting in your world. They could be impacting you for worse. You could be good at photography or have an interest in it. Half-assing most projects or assignments. You probably answer texts late, never answer, or give really short responses. I’m getting the sense that you really just want to exist without judgment or being perceived. Like living like a ghost and move through life seamlessly. You could have a knack for pc games or computer science. Either way, take a shower. You might feel cold often or experience coldness easier than your friends.
The Challenge For You: Join clubs where you know no one. Go alone and make it a secret space for yourself and go for at least 8 months. You’ll find that it can be therapeutic. Yoga classes with old ass ladies can help since they’re just focused on stretching. Find some friends that are ambitious but unmovable, like good leaders. They could influence you to take better care of yourself. Next, find friends that actually care about you and your health, not the “do whatever you want; it’s your life” type of friends. You should visit a sauna some time or go on vacation to a warm-hot country. You could even move there and you would be even slightly happier than now. I would encourage you to seek therapy—with a GOOD therapist. Either you haven’t had the interest or time or you haven’t had a good experience with therapy at all—do not give up. Maybe a counselor at school works. If not, move onto the next option. Confide in better friends, friends that can physically help you get up and move out of your slump, not ones that encourage/enable the bad habits. It’s time to turn your life around pile 3—I seriously think that I don’t need to be telling you these things cuz you already know. You’re definitely not dumb- you just lack motivation. Talk to someone about it or find friends that force you to change your life for the better, the ones that drag you out to go to the park with them. Get out of your comfort zone and start moving. Get that blood moving around your body—someone needs to force you to run, but after a shake rich in protein.
Points of Interest: headphones (maybe AirPod max), cozying up in the corner where people can’t see you, smoking, grey skies, crows, photography, good camera, still camera, cold hands, bitten nails, blue fingers, shrugs, poor blood circulation, pale skin, eating issues (eating too little or too much), needing dopamine and finding easy ways to get it, “i don’t care”, still lack of motivation, sunshine, grumpiness, unchanged sheets, old white tank top (for some reason), your room could use some cleaning, exercise…
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That is all!! I hope you have enjoyed. Feedback is heavily appreciated and I would love to see what pile you chose in your reblogs! As a new reader, I’d like to get as accurate as possible when it comes to picking up energy and doing these readings for you. Remember to take what resonates, leave what doesn’t! Let me know what was accurate for you :) Thank you for coming to my Teddytalk today. (sorry it’s a lame joke ik jsfkdjs)
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stuckinapril · 1 year
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how to feel like a person?
digital detox. if your phone was taken away, how much free time would you have? how empty would your day be? do you have things to do outside of scrolling endlessly on different apps? if you come to the realization that a lot of your time consists of being glued to your screen, you need to start considering incorporating no-phone time blocks into your day. a big part of our daily misery boils down to consuming so many things in 24 hours, to the point that we feel too burned out to do anything else that truly nourishes our body and soul.
establish a routine. discipline is so important for happiness. start out small—schedule your day, get consistent with your skincare routine, take daily walks—and then gradually add more and more things. don’t try to revamp your life all at once. that’s a surefire way to quit altogether. be realistic about your limits, but also push yourself where appropriate so you don’t stay static.
journal. mentalize your feelings. don’t suppress your emotions. be curious about your thought processes and what makes you tick. always be self-compassionate, but hold yourself accountable where it’s due.
start pursuing hobbies. make a list of all the things that interest you and try them out. there are so many things out out there; one of them is bound to stick. don’t go into it with the negative mindset that you know you wouldn’t like doing x and y. some things you might know in your heart are not for you, but don’t rule out possibilities you’re ambivalent about. be open-minded and see finding your interests not as a chore, but as an exciting prospect.
practice gratitude. this is such a popular advice bc it works. start off your day by listing 3 things you’re grateful for. it’s crazy how so many people don’t realize it’s a blessing to just be alive, when so many people get robbed of their lives so early on. i’m not saying to never shoot for more, but having a foundation of contentment goes a very long way.
have a solid set of friends, but march your own march. you don’t need anybody; you just want them. same thing with friends. friends are good for us because we are a social species, but if one person were to leave your life, it’s not the end of the world. your life is already colorful, filled with so many things you’re doing for yourself—furthering your career, improving on your skills, working on your fitness—that a person leaving shouldn’t be detrimental. never be so dependent on someone you can’t envision a life without them. you need to make your life exciting on your own; you can’t have someone else doing all the heavy lifting for you.
have an abundance mindset. if one thing fails, that just leaves room for something better to take its place. you are always bound to find better. there are 8 billion people in this world. there are countless different possibilities. failure or loss does not mean it’s game over for you.
see pain as a learning experience. true growth spurts do truly come from heartbreak or failure. it teaches us to pick ourselves back up and try again. always have a growth mindset. that relationship didn’t work out? now you know what to avoid for the next relationship. you’re single again? now you get to focus on and learn more about yourself. that friendship ended? at least you won’t waste any more time on someone who doesn’t value having you in their life. you didn’t get that job? that leaves the door open for other possibilities. you didn’t get the score you wanted? now you know what to work on to do better next time.
action-directed things to improve your self-esteem. you can sit in your room all day and tell yourself you’re the best thing since sliced bread and everyone’s obsessed with you, but truly building up your self-esteem comes not only from thinking positive things about yourself, but also acting on them. work on things you care about. work on yourself as a person. love who you are, but also strive for self-improvement. do things that can act as proof—to you—for why you’re worthy. it’s a game changer.
dispense of the victim-of-life mentality. it’s safe to dwell in your misery and keep blaming things on factors out of your control, but where would that get you? it’s just resulting in you expending your energy needlessly. stop seeing life as jumping from tragedy to tragedy. actively fight against your negativity bias. recognize that for every bad thing that happens, 100 good things happen, but we as humans have a tendency of focusing only on the negatives. sort through your emotions, make peace with what happened, but pick yourself up and move on. the most valuable thing we all have on this planet is time. it’s limited and it will come to an end eventually. you don’t want to look back and resent yourself for not simply letting go of things and appreciating what you have around you.
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If you don’t mind sharing, since you don’t work for a zoo what is your job situation like? Making a living while working at a definitely zoo seems tricky. Is your main income zoology/animal related or is that more of a side thing?
Sincerely,
- a curious zoology student
I have a (mostly) unrelated jobjob - I’ve never actually been affiliated with a single facility, unless you count college internships before I started this blog. I freelance, working as a science media fact-checker and taking paid research contracts occasionally. I do work on a lot of animal / biology related fact-check content, but it’s not my entire scope of work. I also have the privilege of having family assistance, as I have chronic health issues that interfere with the normative 9-5 grind.
Everything I do in terms of blog writing/research, zoo industry research and publication, and photography is unpaid and pretty much a hobby at this point.
Prior to the pandemic I was trying to find funding for the intra-industry research and public-facing outreach I was doing, but there was never any money for it. (The industry is very used to expecting labor from young women for free. There was and is a lot of interest in the work I do, but the number of people/orgs that have ever provided compensation or financial support is in the single digits). The pandemic actually gave me the chance to pivot to focusing on professional fact-checking.
The only funding I get for any of this work is through a somewhat defunct Patreon I set up years ago when I was trying to make this blog / scicomm a full time gig. I’m terrible at updating it, and I’m conflicted enough about that to have been considering deleting it entirely. (For those of you who have stuck it out despite the radio silence, you’re incredible. You’ve facilitated the donation of my time to write a really cool paper with a zoo disaster response org, which will hopefully get through peer review soon).
To make something like this blog and everything else I do in the field actually financially sustainable, I’d need to fundraise and market more. The thing about a fact-checking career, though, is that it’s reinforced the need to make sure everything I write/say publicly is completely and 100% correct - because that level of rigor is what supports my professional reputation! Which means I’m slow to produce research and reticent to talk about it before it’s finished. My work comes out all the better for it, but it doesn’t fit into a content model that produces revenue.
So yeah, all of this is a side thing that I fit in around my paid work and my health. Because sometimes I just need to go see a tiger and smell an elephant, y’know?
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nicromancytarot · 2 months
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WHAT WOULD HAPPEN IF YOU WERE TO CHANGE CAREER PATHS?
This is a general reading based on a collective of people. Take what resonates and leave what doesn’t. If you don’t feel the pile resonates with you, don’t be scared to try another, if it still doesn’t feel right, that’s ok! Maybe our energies aren’t as connected and my readings are not for you.
I do these strictly for fun and educational purposes. I don’t change for these readings and I do not fake readings. I would tell you the cards I got but I pull like 20-30 cards each reading and that just slightly a strenuous task to write them all down lmao.
PICK A CARD READING
I asked my spirit guides what would happen if you were to change your current career path, pick a pile and see what they had to say!
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Pile 1 ———> Pile 2 ———> Pile 3
PILE 1
You guys seem to be in a current job which you’re not feeling all that fulfilled in, this is either to do with the community that surround this job, the work that you are given, or possibly the work that this job requires. For some of you, you may feel outcasted from a larger group of individuals, some of you may even go through “bullying” stages, or harassment in the workplace. Others of you are overwhelmed with the amount of work that you are being given, and possible over exaggerated standards that you are expected to meet in the workplace. For the rest of you it’s to do with the actual work itself, you may not be feeling very happy in this field, perhaps you gave up a hobby or passion project to take part in this workplace.
The reason I say this is because I notice that the pay isn’t necessarily the issue for a lot of you, the job you’re currently in does seem to be paying you well, and gives you a good amount of leadership and possible creative freedom. Changing your career path would be a very big difference, it’s not something that you are used to, and it’s not the same as your current job.
For a lot of you I am feeling that this is some type of business that you want to begin building and working on, perhaps something that you have been dreaming about for a few years. A lot of you are stressed about the time and energy this project would take to perfect, and are mainly failed about the possibility of it failing and you being left jobless.
Those of you who are not planning on starting a business, this links into some job that is more creatively freeing and fun for you, perhaps you’re going from a classic barista job, and changing into a graphic design field instead, there’s definitely a large amount of change and difference for all of you however.
Whatever you are choosing to do and how you are deciding to change this, you’re all very stressed out about the possibility of failure and being unsuccessful. Of course you could fail, but that’s a given is it not? With trying this, you could literally become a millionaire lmao, with so much perseverance and resilience, you can take this wherever you please.
For business people, makeup? Gloss?
A lot of you are scared of reaching out to people, whether it be making new friends at your new workplace, or finding yourself a trusted team to help you with your passion project. (I’m getting heavy passion project honestly)
Doing this will get you taken more seriously, it will take a while to nurture this decision and create the career path that you want for yourself, but with bravery and strength, you have the potential to create whatever dreams you have and bring them to life.
PILE 2
I feel like a lot of you are in a job that doesn’t pay you enough to sustain your living situation, almost like you’re a corporate slave? I’m getting the feeling of living in New York and struggling to pay your bills, or living somewhere which is below the bare minimum and making you feel like shit. Some of you could really be struggling with housing at the moment, possibly bug or rat infestations, a lot is going wrong, peeling paint, mould, it’s certainly not ideal.
Some of you are in a relationship with someone who would help you pay for your rent, or whatever you needed during your time of discovering your plans for your career in the future, even if this isn’t a romantic partner, it could be friends or family who are more than willing to lend a hand, masculines are very prominent for this pile.
I feel like leaving this job will give you some time to think about what you need to do next, what are the steps to take and how can you better your life?
I’m not getting business, however I am getting something that takes a lot to make work, perhaps you’ll be working alongside a friend, becoming an influencer, stepping into fame.
It’s giving very much “trust me” energy.
There are some people around you who won’t trust this or have much hope for it, you’ll have a good amount of individuals telling you to find a “proper job” or just go back to your old one.
You’re very sure about what you want after taking this small break away from everything, I see someone who knows what they have to do to make something work, as if they have it all planned, some of you might literally have a board like a detective, with strings pointing to certain opportunities or ideas.
You’ll get into this new thing very quickly, you’ll waste no time and give it your all, for those of you who are influencing or dipping your toe into the life of fame, you’ll be very good with handling criticism and hate, you’ll be very quick to brush it off and ignore those trolls, as you know that they are only jealous of you.
Your main motivator is your living situation.
The rest of you who are doing something else not relating to fame, you will be very defensive to the people around you who doubt your innovation and creativity to do what you want as a job.
Verrrrry quickly, this opportunity brings in those bags of money, I’m seeing someone doing the absolute least and then getting paid a ton for it.
How you will feel after this change will have something to do with your home, I’m seeing someone buying a much larger and stabler house, somewhere that they feel happy to bring their friends and family around to, I do see a lot of your money going into your housing situation.
PILE 3
Bro, are you guys sleeping with your boss or something??? There’s a heavy energy on workplace affairs, something to do with temptation, selfishness and love. This person that you are sleeping with, IS MARRIED!!!! Don’t go there, for the love of God.
Some of you could honestly be the work wife/husband, rather than an actual affair, however this person is down bad, but they only want you to have you, not to keep you.
This is a VERY specific message, only a few of you will relate to this, if it’s not your message, feel free to find another pile lmao, this one is insane.
For those of you who have been sleeping with or fawning over some person in your workplace, what are you doing?! Listen, I do not condone cheating, some of you are also cheating on your partner, oh my days.
This person has you in a metaphorical chokehold, they’ve got you in their arms, their spouse in their mind and their past rendezvous on speed dial. You’re getting ready to make a decision, you’re telling them about leaving the workplace and they are threatening you with telling everyone the truth. Their spouse already knows, I’m feeling like they are aware and just want you gone, they may even offer you some money to get you the hell out of their husband/wives life, they are not coming to play.
I’m seeing someone who will keep their money and reputation, meanwhile the other will only keep money, and say goodbye to their reputation. If people find out about the affair, they will turn on either one or you, however I’m feeling it point more towards you.
Fear not, create something new, spend the time working on it, and everyone will forget. It’s only one big scandal of the workplace, and they’re sure to do it with another, so you will soon be long forgotten.
For those of you who have romantic intentions or feelings for this person, they could be telling you that they’ll leave their spouse. Run. Run and do not look back, they are lying.
Working on something new, whether it be your own creation, or just something better paying and worthwhile in the long run, will help you achieve all you dream or achieving. I’m seeing someone who realised that they dodged a bullet, and now is possibly even their own boss, or married to their new one (slay)
I also see that you will “repent for your sins” the rest of your life (lmao, that’s so dramatic), but you will beg the universe for forgiveness for a while.
Also, for those of you who are cheating on your partner, you can work through it, they will forgive you, however I would recommend setting them free.
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inkpot909 · 7 months
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Fluff Alphabet: Jotaro Kujo
↳ Reader is written as gender neutral and was previously a part of the trip to Egypt.
A/n: I’ve always wanted to write an alphabet list! And who better to write one for than my favorite marine biologist? I hope y’all enjoy and remember to take care of yourselves. <3
Warning(s): A blink-and-you’ll-miss-it innuendo. Mentions of blood and canon-typical swearing. Very light angst.
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(A)ffection - How affectionate is he? How does he show affection?
Let’s face it, the phrases “Jotaro Kujo” and “lovey-dovey” don’t mix.
He didn’t rank high on the affectionate scale, at least, not at the beginning of your relationship.
Instead of being openly affectionate, his main method of expressing his feelings during the beginning was to spend lots of quality time with you. Attached at the hip, he followed you around everywhere.
Another way he expressed his affection was by… introducing or referring to you as his boyfriend/girlfriend?
You still remember the first time you’d met his mother. He brought you home one day, standing a good foot or two to your left. His arms were firmly planted in his pockets, while you awkwardly had to listen to him bluntly say “This is who I’m dating.”
That was his idea of romance.
Jotaro’s come a long way since; it’s a matter of time for him. Quality time is still a large part of his love language, no question, but after settling into the relationship he’ll get the hang of it.
Specifically, he’s more knowledgeable on what you like best and that will certainly shine through in his actions.
This is especially true in private, where he’ll show a side of himself that’s genuinely sweet and more inclined to be physically affectionate.
(B)eauty - What does he admire about you? What does he think is beautiful about you?
Your personal drive and motivations are two things he deeply admires about you!
Specifically, your passions make you incredibly special in his eyes. And this is true regardless of where those motivations lie. If you are passionate in your career, or even about your hobbies, he’ll be sure to take notice.
Whether it’s the way your face lights up when the topic is even slightly mentioned, or the expression of complete focus when knee-deep in whatever it is that compels you to move forward, it can honestly leave him speechless.
He’s a great support as well. Vocally and bluntly expressing a unwavering belief in you. He does this more often if you harbor any insecurities towards your passions as well.
Physically speaking, he adores your eyes the most.
The amount of times he’s drowned himself in the vast ocean contained within your irises is uncountable. It’s grounding, comforting, and will likely never fail to make his heart flutter.
His staring is a constant in your relationship. During the platonic stage, the beginning of you dating, and all throughout your years of marriage.
(C)omfort - How would he help you when feeling down/having a panic attack/etc.?
Much like with displaying affection, Jotaro’s going to be rather shit at this in the beginning.
Where it differs, however, is that his attempts at making you feel better were likely the first signs of his deeper feelings towards you.
As the journey to Egypt developed, so did both of your understanding of one another. Namely, he was rather curt and dismissive towards you initially. This behavior probably led you to try and avoid him, whether it was done shyly or with a more vocal pushback against his actions.
Regardless, stand attacks were the catalyst of you realizing he actually cares for you. More specifically, during the fight against Steely Dan. It didn’t matter to him that Joseph’s life was on the line, if the bastard so much as got to close, you were having to hold Jotaro back from becoming violent.
Comforting you while dealing with mental or emotional hurtles is something he approaches far more awkwardly.
When you first began going out, he would grow silent and sit next to you as you let out your emotions. He’s always been a good listener, certainly, but that was pretty much it.
As he matures, he’ll find the- although limited -right words to say. Not only that, but if you want to cling to him, feel free to do so.
If you’re going through a panic attack, his response depends on the situation. If it’s during/because of a battle, he leaves comforting you to someone else while he dives head-first into the fight.
If it’s not during such a dire situation, he will pull you close (unless it’s already been made clear that will only heighten your distress).
Jotaro will encourage you to meet his gaze, and follow his deep breaths as best you can. He will always be calm, and prioritizes you relaxing before discussing the source of your panic attack after the fact.
(D)ance - Does he like to dance with you? How good of a dancer is he?
No way in hell.
It won’t matter how many times you, whine, beg, or bargain. The most you’ll ever get from him is the tapping of his foot or gentle nod of his head in the car.
Try not to take it personally!
In general, Jotaro just doesn’t dance. It’s not for him. He doesn’t even know if he’s got naturally good rhythm (he doesn’t) because he just… never does it.
The first time you ever danced with him is on your wedding day.
Marrying the love of your life in of itself is enough to make your heart swell. But the fact that he danced with you, in front of friends and family no less, made the ceremony magical. And his steady movements, as well as how tenderly he held you to him, took your breath away.
The fact that he asked his mother to show him how to slow dance, practicing for weeks beforehand, is something he’s taking to the grave.
(E)xcitement - How does he act when he’s excited? What excites him?
The world must’ve stopped turning; the sun is falling down from the sky. Pigs are outside flying through the air as if they’ve been doing so for centuries.
Jotaro Kujo’s smiling unprompted.
No, seriously, you can tell he’s anticipating something when the tiniest of smiles plays on his lips for no immediate reason. Generally, he also seems less annoyed at the world when he’s feeling excited.
Those are good enough indicators on their own, but there’s also the fact that he talked your ear off about whatever it is he’s looking forward to the night prior.
“Talked your ear off,” by the way, translates to mumbling out no more than four sentences on the matter.
If you were anyone else, they likely wouldn’t notice a difference. But you do, knowing Jotaro better than he knows himself at times.
Achievements and advancements within his career is what often excites him as an adult. A rare visit from an old-friend such as Polnareff is also bound to put him in a good mood. And finally returning home from a long trip away is bound to make his eyes shine.
When he was still a young delinquent, these reactions were policed to the point where he hardly expressed such things in front of you. But after mellowing out, it’s heartwarming to see more genuine displays of his emotions.
(F)uture - What are his plans for the future? Does he see himself getting married, having kids?
Before you, even getting into a romantic relationship wasn’t on his mind at all.
So it’s more likely that you’re the first to bring things up like marriage or children, then he’ll begin to seriously consider it. If he realizes his wants and needs for the future on his own, you’re still what’s going to be on his mind front and center.
For him, his mind is focused on one thing at a time.
After marrying, he’ll one day think to himself, Huh, usually the next step is having kids. Then he’ll contemplate it, wondering if that’s what he wants.
Jotaro’s the type of individual that never saw such a thing for himself out of youthful disinterest.
But as he grew up and found his relationship with you to be the most important thing in his life, he discovered he truly does wish to have a nuclear family.
It scares him a little, even with your ability as a stand user.
He knows all too well that there are plenty of people that want his head for the conflict in Egypt. It’s something you both have invested a lot of time in investigating side-by-side.
But at the end of the day, his trust in you and knowledge that you’re more powerful as a unit that eventually pushes those worries out of the picture.
And ultimately, what’s important to you becomes important to him. So, although he certainly comes to envision settling down and having a family with you, how you feel on the matter is the final word in his eyes.
(G)ifts - What does he give you as presents? How often does he give gifts?
Birthdays, Christmas, Valentine’s Day and anniversaries is pretty much the only time he gives gifts.
Despite not doing it often, he’s attentive enough and knows you to the point where he’s become quite good at it. He’s not afraid to spend a generous amount of money on you either.
And what his gifts lack in frequency, he certainly makes up for in memory.
Jotaro Kujo never forgets a date. The thought of reminding him doesn’t ever pass through your brain because he’s so consistent with it.
He smartly plans ahead on top of that. Meaning, even if he orders you a gift to be delivered to the house, it will always arrive on time. And if it doesn’t, it’s never on him that it didn’t.
(H)old - How does he hold you? Cuddling, sleeping, holding hands…
Holding hands has long been his preferred (and only) form of PDA.
Especially when you were younger and still dating, it was a statement to everyone around you. That yes, you’re both taken and happy to be together.
By the time you both mature into the relationship, it’s already an established habit. Now, he simply does it because he loves you and is happily aquatinted with your fingers intertwined with his.
Yes, part of him still wants everyone to know. But he cares a lot less about his reputation at this point in his life.
When cuddling, he mainly likes holding you close to him rather than it being the other way around. Having your head rest on his chest provides him a sense of comfort that’s irreplaceable.
That said, there are times when he’d like to lean on you or plant his head in your lap. It’s usually after a long, stressful day that he’ll seek out such a thing.
After dinner is usually time for you both to curl up, snuggled together in front of the TV. During the weekend, when neither of you are busy, you’ll find yourselves clinging to each other during the afternoon as well.
He doesn’t much care for cuddling you in bed, though. Jotaro likes to stretch out in his sleep and not be locked into on position the whole night.
“I cuddled with you all day, why would you need me to do it now when I’m trying to sleep?”
Although, if you’ve had a particularly rough day or if you haven’t seen one another for a while, he’ll bring you into his arms at night. Bending his legs forward, he’ll tangle them with yours as he spoons you.
(I)deal - What’s his ideal date like?
Heh, any date with you is ideal, babyboy/babygirl.
Jokes aside, he really doesn’t give a shit.
Planning dates with him may make you want to pull your hair out. He doesn’t care- whatever you want to do works for him.
You want to go out to eat? Fine with him, he’s getting hungry anyways. Want to go watch a movie? No problem; he’ll even pay for your ticket. Or would you rather stay in, curl up together in bed reading beside one another? Perfect, as long as he’s sitting close.
Jotaro doesn’t really understand why you may grow sick of always having to pick, and you’ll likely have to explain it to him.
Whenever he does make plans, it’s almost always something you’ve done together before and therefore is confident you’ll enjoy yourself.
His one no-go for a date is going to an amusement park.
Everything is way overpriced, the lines are too long, and the obnoxious kids littered around the place will set back his desire to have children for years.
(J)ealousy - Does he get jealous easily? How does he handle it?
When you were dating- absolutely.
Not only was he a little more insecure about the future of your relationship, but he also felt the need to keep up his tough-guy persona.
It has always been extremely rare for him to get violent due to jealousy, though.
Instead, he grew dangerously quiet and wrapped an arm around your shoulders protectively.
That said, he wasn’t ever opposed to getting violent. If it ever got to the point where someone was explicitly hitting on you in front of him, one glance at the uncomfortable look on your face, and he’s not afraid to start throwing around vague threats.
In adulthood, and once married, he feels less inclined to posture.
If someone’s hitting on you, he’s more likely to approach the situation calmly and make a point to introduce himself as your husband.
Having a naturally intimidating face doesn’t often lead to others pushing it.
And when he gets jealous in later years, he’s simply going to wait patiently until you get home. Not exactly grow silent like he used to, but shoot you knowing glances instead.
He waits until your both home before doing anything outright. That’s when he’ll grab your hand and lead you to the bedroom. Of course, he knows by now that you love him, but a night of reminding you how much you mean to him certainly doesn’t hurt…
(K)isses - How does he like to kiss you? How often does he kiss you?
For the first month into the relationship, he’d settle for merely kissing you on the cheek.
He’d plant one there, quickly moving away in order to tug the brim of his hat down and cover his face.
You’re likely the one to have instigated the first kiss with him. He didn’t know how to approach; didn’t know how to ask.
After that threshold was broken, he easily prefers on-the-mouth kisses.
Jotaro will still give you kisses on the cheek from time to time, especially in front of family or friends as to not push it PDA wise.
But he’ll likely give you a kiss on the mouth, even if brief, at least once a day. It’s usually after he or you arrive home from work, greeting you with the affectionate action.
Or he’ll give you a quick kiss goodnight before the both of you settle into bed.
Plus, he’s naturally always been a pretty good kisser. Talented bastard.
(L)ove - How does he show you he loves you?
By being a constant presence in your life.
“I’m here, aren’t I? Of course I love you,” he tells you, as if it’s a no-brainer.
He won’t say it out loud, but it’s not just the fact that he’s there, it’s how. Jotaro is very much a show rather than tell type of man.
Acts of service is the primary love language he expresses.
He does your laundry for you unprompted, and in fact, takes care of a lot of the household duties without you needing to ask. He knows you very well, and thus takes care of tasks you know you’ll appreciate not having to do.
He doesn’t make a point of it either. Jotaro rarely boasts about doing such things, and often you’re left to find out on your own.
His deep trust in you is also a way you know he loves you.
With knowing one another for as long as you have, the bond is impossibly strong. Jotaro doesn’t think twice before informing you about his struggles, big or small. Not because he expects you to solve all his problems, but because he values transparency.
(M)elt - What do you do that absolutely makes him melt?
When you respond to his emotions without him needing to say a word, Jotaro’s heart warms.
This once again ties in with how well you know each other.
You’re so good at reading him that he sometimes tricks himself into thinking you may be able to read his mind.
He mentioned it once offhandedly, not even meaning to say it out loud. You’re lighthearted reaction was a little embarrassing for him, but it’s a cherished memory for you.
Not only that, but the fact that you get along seamlessly with his mother honestly brings him a sense of joy he cannot describe.
The only thing he can to think to say on the matter is that family’s important to him. The implication of the statement is implied: You being able to get along with his mother and extended family as well has him melting on the spot.
Bonus points if you’re good with kids too. Namely because Jotaro… is not.
(N)icknames - What does he call you, and what does he like being called?
Not really one for giving pet names, he simply calls you by your name or a preferred nickname.
On rare occasions, when he’s feeling particularly teasing or playful, he’ll call you ‘honey.’ Those moments are few and far between, though.
Other than that, it’s usually just your name he sticks with.
After growing up, and especially after receiving his degree, not many people still refer to him as JoJo. He doesn’t think much of the transition, but he does like it if you still call him JoJo from time to time.
It reminds him of your longtime bond; the nostalgic foundation of friendship you share.
If you like using pet names for him, he’ll roll his eyes and pretend as if he doesn’t like it. That said, he greatly appreciates it if you refer to him by name in front of others or in a serious situation.
(O)bvious - How obvious does he make it that he likes you?
When he was simply harboring a crush on you, it was not at all obvious.
Back during the trip to Egypt, Jotaro’s developing crush went unnoticed. Not even his own grandfather could tell. Hell, Jotaro himself couldn’t even really recognize it at first. It went unnoticed by everyone.
Well, everyone except Kakyoin.
It puts a strain on Jotaro’s heart, remembering it was Kakyoin that first noticed his feelings for you.
The redhead was very respectful about it, but still felt the need to stick his nose in Jotaro’s business in private. Despite him denying the crush up and down, Kakyoin’s encouragement still got to him a bit in the end.
During rough nights, where the past is painfully kept in the front of his mind, Jotaro wonders if him becoming just a little more obvious with his affection for you is done in part as some sort of way to prove himself to his departed friend.
(P)ets - Does he have pets? Does he want them?
Jotaro is so the definition of someone who swears up and down he doesn’t want a pet, yet ultimately ends up loving one unconditionally.
If you want one, he’ll dig his heels into the dirt for months. He’s too busy, you’re too busy… all prepackaged excuses for why it wouldn’t be a good idea.
But you eventually convince him to get one, the stoic man finally relenting with a long sigh.
He prefers dogs over any other kind of pet, so if that’s what you want, it’ll be slightly easier to convince him.
Without ever even trying to do so, it’s him who becomes the pet’s favorite.
The closeness is what leads him to giving in and only admitting to himself that he likes the pet. He’ll never admit it to you (as if you can’t tell); far too stubborn for his own good.
Jotaro has a one-pet-at-a-time policy, though. That’s nonnegotiable.
(Q)uiet - How are the calm, quiet moments with him?
To be honest, it’s a staple of your relationship.
Jotaro finally considered it love once fully wrapping his head around the fact that neither of you felt the need to always be making conversation with one another.
Comfortable silence is cherished by him. Whether you’ve always been the same, or come to have understood that with time, the fact that you’ve come to embrace that aspect of his personality led him to opening himself up to you more during conversations.
Quieter moments occur a lot during the weekend, when there’s no work and only relaxing. You also just enjoy each other’s company without much talking when getting ready for bed.
Sometimes, he doesn’t even say goodnight to you.
Instead, he gently tugs a few strands of hair from your face and cups your jaw momentarily. A gentle glimmer within his pupils reveal much more than any words could express.
The quietness and tranquility present in a lot of the time you spend together is part of his assessment in realizing you were the one.
(R)omance - How romantic is he? What is his go-to ways of being romantic?
…Romantic? Jotaro…?
He’s really responsive to your preferences in romance. Well, depending on how you present them.
He’s no mind-reader and not exactly the best at observing others. Remember the Yellow Temperance arc? Yeah… he’s not exactly a detective. If you want him to take a different approach in how romantic he is, subtly nudging him in the right direction isn’t going to work.
Instead, telling him directly what it is you like is much easier for him to wrap his head around. Jotaro never takes such comments personally, seeing as being upfront is preferable for him.
A year or two into the relationship, and he’s much better acquainted with what you like best.
Confident he understands you well, it naturally brings out a more romantic side of him. He’s only deeply observant with those closest to him (think Holly), so once you both reach that point, it brings out a surprisingly sweeter side of him.
(S)afe - What makes him feel safe and comfortable around you?
Once again, it’s got a lot to do with your history together.
Jotaro knows he can rely on you. He’s been keenly aware of your reliability since the late 80s.
Safety for Jotaro means tranquility, and a deep sense of comfort- along with a familiar environment. You provide him these warm feelings; seemingly just by your very presence.
When the two of you are at home together, it doesn’t matter what you’re doing, he’s perfectly content. Simply glancing in your direction grounds him, and can calm buried anxieties.
That’s all he really needs to feel safe: You.
Visiting Morioh turns out to be a far more long and arduous task than either of you originally expected. But with you at his side, Jotaro rarely felt himself getting too worked up.
Spending late nights together at the hotel was all he needed to reset his brain, able to start the next day without much complaint over spending his time with unruly teenagers.
(T)end - How does he act when you’re hurt/sick, and vise versa?
If anyone hurts you, they may as well count their days. It doesn’t necessarily matter if you’re assertive all on your own; Jotaro’s going to have something (at the very least) to say.
Hell, knowing him, if someone’s troubling you all he usually has to do is look in their general direction. His entire demeanor gives off the impression of “Don’t fuck with me” and he’s all for standing up for you.
Even during the trip to Egypt, he seemed much looser with his grip on his temper when you were put into the line of fire.
If you’re sick, Jotaro’s surprisingly doting.
He’s extremely adamant that you stay home and rest up. Any reason you may have to get out of bed he’ll take care of himself without question.
If he can’t be there to take care of you (likely due to work), he’ll call once or twice while he’s gone just to check in on how you’re doing.
It’s quite ironic, considering how he acts when hurt or sick.
“I’m not sick,” he’ll insist in a scratchy voice, despite a reddened face and clearly runny nose.
“I’m fine.” Yeah, sure, Jotaro. Never mind the deep gash actively gushing blood all over his left arm.
Attempts to take care of him in anyway will be met with pushback, no matter how old he gets.
One reminder of how much he babies you when you’re feeling unwell is all it usually takes for him to begrudgingly accept your offer to help.
He’ll be silent throughout, but his refusal to look you in the eye is a dead giveaway that he secretly likes being taken care of every now and then.
(U)nique - What’s an unusual thing about him that’s oddly charming?
“JoJo… do you need something?”
“No.”
“Then why’re you staring at me?”
“I’m not.”
“You’ve been looking at me for the past ten minutes!”
(V)ariety - Does he prefer to keep the same routine, or spice things up?
Jotaro is a creature of habit.
He certainly likes to keep a usual routine. Having a familiar structure makes him feel comfortable and as though his life is maintaining stability.
Too many surprises or shocking events happening at once is at best annoying for him, and downright unnerving at worst.
He is a little conscious of this aspect of himself; part of him worries you may grow board of him.
That worry is unfounded, though. Especially considering something new or a shake up to the usual routine is accepted by him if you’re the one to do so. He’s so naturally considerate that he doesn’t even think of that being a factor.
Luckily for the both of you, it’s not difficult for you to ease his worries.
(W)ild Card - A random fluff headcanon
Jotaro’s a big fan of manga and usually invests his free time in catching up on his favorite series’s anime incarnations.
He’s been reading Shonen since he was young, and that interest carries over into his adult years.
Jotaro will certainly sit you down and make ask you to watch his some of his favorite anime with him. Saturday afternoons is his favorite time to curl up next to you on the couch and watch for a few hours.
Definitely the type to always sneak peaks at your reactions out of the corner of his eye. He hardly is the type to speak during a show or movie, but is glad to discuss with you after the fact. Please, discuss with him after the fact.
If you’re also into manga and anime before meeting him, he’s internally overjoyed. However, he is a bit critical.
Not to the point of being rude, but certainly dismissive of it at first if your tastes don’t exactly align with his. Jotaro has taste, and is quite proud of his selections. It may come off as a bit elitist… because it is.
He loosens up with time, and may even give some of your favorites a chance. He will never admit out loud to actually liking them, even after you catch him intently watching an anime of your suggestion on his own.
(X)OXO - Is he affectionate in public? How much PDA does he show?
Despite not being too outwardly affectionate or into PDA, everyone close to him can easily tell you’re together once a relationship is formed.
Joseph cheekily goes on and on about how he “totally saw this coming” (no he didn’t). Polnareff is patting the both of you on the back with a big, goofy grin (his world is crashing around him).
When the Duwang gang first met you, the teens of the group were going mental upon the realization that… holy shit… he’s married… !?
The group’s bewilderment was mostly kept to internal struggles due to both Jotaro’s harsh expression at any question relating to how on earth he managed to marry such a lovely individual.
Josuke specifically thought he was going to have a stroke. Unlike the others, he’s much more prone to speaking his mind even after the implicit warning.
After getting over his initial shock, he’ll berate his nephew for not previously telling him about his partner.
(Y)earning - How does he cope when he’s missing you?
It takes everything in him not to call you.
He holds out the first day of you being gone. It’s no trouble that he’s cooking without your presence, not at all. Ignoring the fact that he’s eating dinner without you cheerily filling him in on your day is no problem. Getting ready for bed alone is no big deal.
Yeah… definitely.
Jotaro will lay himself down in bed, facing your usually taken up side. He’ll find his hand reaching out m at the empty space, fingers curling around the sheets. A frown finds its way onto his tired face.
He’s calling you the next day. And after finally caving, he’s sure to give you a call each day or every other day after that.
Past events has made him wary of being separated from you for too long. And even though he logically knows he’s fussing over nothing, he still cannot help but cave to the small worry growing in the back of his mind.
That said, it isn’t too difficult for him to distract himself from missing you.
But being alone during moments that he’d usually share with you is enough to remind him of your absence.
(Z)eal - Is he willing to go to great lengths for the relationship? If so, what kind of?
Yes, he will undoubtedly go to great lengths for you.
One could argue that, having been a part of the Crusaders yourself, an aspect of his actions against DIO were also influenced by a desire to avenge you as well as the others.
Jotaro isn’t above getting violent in your behalf, and would certainly jump through several hoops as long as your safe.
Part of this is because there’s an unspoken mutual understanding that you’d do the same for him (and you certainly have).
But more than that, Jotaro has a small circle of individuals that he would likely do just about anything for. And after everything the both of you have been through together, you’re at the top of that list.
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eremorte · 4 months
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thronecoming heritage hall gifts (rewritten)
The Thronecoming heritage hall gifts bug me. Most of them don’t feel like a parent has gifted them. They are so uninspired for the biggest moment in their child’s life.
I’ve listed my replacements below. I’m hoping for the gifts to have a, if had-to-do-it-again-here’s-what-I’d-want vibe.
blondie lockes
OG gift: running shoes
rewritten gift: a new piece of tech that helps her with her mirror cast. A shiny new microphone or even just a cute news reporter accessory that acknowledges her unintended break from destiny (or rather extremely developed hobby/career because her story can be over in like 30 minutes) it also gives off the initial impression that blondie’s story is “just right” the way it is until.. boom! There’s a note.
That mentions that as Goldilocks has reflected on her role and how she regrets hurting the bears the ways she has* and with an extra perceptive daughter like blondie she is sure to find a worthy story (within bounds) that won’t cause baby bear to develop a complex. *insert long list of things here that blondie could comment on in her stead because the story book of legends didn’t write every worthwhile critique of the bear house and the bears despite “forgiving” her won’t let her talk to them about this* and a small comment of how she is super proud about blondie that hopefully eases some of her attention seeking behavior so she’s less of a brat later on.
cerise hood:
OG Gift: picnic basket with an electronic mirror lock.
revised gift: honestly I have no comment. This is a great gift. My only question is how recently the presents are placed in the hall seeing as how that basket spit up a whole bird leg. Maybe it has a special note of the picnic menu they have in celebration once the whole shebang is done.
o hair twins:
OG gift floating hair brushes
rewritten gift given how Rapunzel’s story is that she was locked away her whole life because her bio mom ate a magical plant while pregnant that the witch wasn’t sure of the side effects of and had to lock her away because damn sure bio parents couldn’t do anything if the witch was second guessing herself. What I think should be there are odd bits an bobs function like an Easter egg hunt of a map and post fairytale notes one what they are that Rapunzel is certain her girls can figure out because they have her plant powers (though probably diluted hence the helpful notes incase they have to solve things like their adoptive grandma ).
briar beauty
NOW FOR THE GIRL WHO INSPIRED THIS POST. Her gift makes me so angry. It is the most nothing gift of the whole bunch. You mean to tell me that a hundred year sleep doesn’t come with any regrets at all? Not one thing?
OG gift A neck pillow.
revised gift: A SCRAPBOOK. The first few pages could be filled with pictures of her family. Bonus points if they’re are people Briar wouldn’t have gotten the chance to meet but knows who they are by virtue of her mom. It hits home exactly how big her sacrifice is. Also all the storybook imagery? The intro? Imagine if there was a dark time line where we were being told everything that happen through briar who missed all of it and is trying to piece back something familiar?
either way, mental breakdown and existential crisis guaranteed.
also bonus. It’s totally merchandisable. Half the book mercy was essentially scrapbooks/concept art anyhow.
Cedar wood: revealer rays
it’s a good gift but something she wouldn’t be able to use in her story at all. They are not subtle and most everyone who knows about Cedar knows that Pinocchio didn’t mess up her eyes to the point she’d feasibly need glasses. Revised gift: letters from the blue fairy (well wishes, maybe an helpful hint or two) Gepetto and Pinocchio (things to to try (and not repeat) once she’s no longer wooden and how to lie effectively) I can’t think of a physical possession for Cedar to have. But I feel she’d appreciate these. Maybe a special cricket/donkey whistle?
duchess swan:
no gift shown but what I have in mind is a mix of briar and blondie’s gift.
a collection of letters (written on leaves and paper or something) from both her mom and her bio dad detailing the bitter sweet love in the tragedy to reassure duchess it’s not all bad. And a special pair of dancing shoes for her last night as a human. I imagine this gift would only make duchess mad.
Madeline hatter:
no gift shown and honestly idk what the mad hatter gives his daughter it’s probably perfect. An old hat that looks very normal actually? A crazy new teapot? Who knows?
raven queen:
og gift wand wishing well coin
honestly I want to know the logic behind the wand. Is it a back up battery in case apple thwarts raven through zapping away her powers somehow?
I have multiple suggestions
Something that contains directions to the true SBOL
recipe for the poison apple
something that originally belonged to someone in the Snow White family that she is proud enough to share with her daughter (raven would probably give it back).
*blondie branches out mentions how Goldilocks promised to be a better person.
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stardew-shitposterino · 11 months
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Stardew Valley Bachelors playing Overcooked with the farmer
I played overcooked with my brother today and it gave me this idea. It’s a bit niche but who cares? I don’t ✨
Sam:
-will scream the entire time
-starts off chill, grows more and more stressed the longer you play
-“I’M THE RACOON GUY!”
-has no fucking plan whatsoever, don’t even try to explain a plan to him
-just go with the flow with him… it is all chaos anyway
-overall not the best at the game, but he is the most fun to play with out of all 6 bachelors
Sebastian:
-he is the opposite of Sam…maybe not entirely
-so he’s really strategic
-will scream the entire time as well (don’t take it personally, he’s s just very passionate about it)
-he’s the grumpy dark cat lol
-loves the very hard levels with the changing kitchens because then he can plan out how you go about it entirely. As I said, he’s a very passionate gamer
-you’ll play the levels over and over again till you have 3 stars…so buckle up 😼
Harvey:
-the last time he played any video game was when he was a child and had a Nintendo 64 🤷🏼‍♀️
-sooo,,,he’s really not good 😭
-he is a well-tempered person, but OH BROTHER
-run for the hills when he loses at video games
-such a sore loser, he’s so eager to beat the levels but he isn’t that good at coordinating his character which puts him in a very rarely-seen temper tantrum
-“WHAT THE?! I DID THE THING SO WHY ISN’T HE DOING WHAT I WANT FOR FUCK’S SAKE !?” (He never says ‘fuck’, so it means he is MAD ANGRY)
-he’s the squirrel with the nice moustache…you know why 😘
Elliott:
-he’s not really the gamer type, soooo he has no clue what he’s doing
-but surprisingly, he is not too bad
-in fact, he gets the hang of it really fast for a guy who never plays video games
-not related to the game, but he loves it when you sit in his lap while playing 🥰 he likes having you close
-since there isn’t one character that really looks like him, he’s taking the narwhal or some other sea creature,,, he just thinks they are neat 🤷🏼‍♀️
-will be so proud of you when you manage to beat a level with 3 stars
-“we make such a great team, right y/n? 😄”
Shane:
-old-school gamer, baby
-like Harvey, he started his gaming career with Nintendo 64 and Sega Genesis, but he never stopped and it became one of his main hobbies
-is a sore loser as well, so he’ll complain about fucking up…A LOT
-“WHAT ARE YOU DOING !? GIVE ME THE FUCKING ONION!!!WE ARE LOSING TIME, BABE!!!!”
-stress snacker. If you have snacks on the table, he’ll grab in the bowl and eat them all while you’re playing
-when you win a level, he’ll be way too enthusiastic…I’m talking giving you an aggressive kiss on either the lips or cheeks and being like “WOOOOHOOO WE FUCKING RULE THIS BITCH”
-plays as either the eagle or the calico cat. If there was a chicken, he’d be that lol
Alex:
-he’s one of the younger bachelors, but video games? It’s not his forté
-he was the kind of kid to play outside, he was rarely in his room doing something…so he isn’t that good 😅
-he is like your grandma who just got her first smartphone
-he doesn’t really get anything and is really just bumming about, so you carry the both of you to at least 2 stars
-he’s very competitive though; so he’ll still try to be good for you (and his ego)
-he sucks ASS sorry baby boy 😭🥹
-his favourite character is the guy with sunglasses 😎 because he looks like him
163 notes · View notes
judysxnd · 1 year
Note
Hi love
Can you write a jealous pedro for us? Maybe one when they run into reader's ex
Hiii, thanks for your request!
Before I start, I just want to say something. I’ve been receiving more requests, and I’m so happy and thankful for that!! But it also gives me a lot of anxiety as I pressure myself to write as fast as possible so that you won’t wait too long. Also, as I rarely like what I write, I’m also scared, and it makes me more anxious to write about the requests (it is very challenging).
I used to take requests when I was writing on Wattpad about teen wolf, and it got very overwhelming and eventually I had to stop writing, because it was really too much for me. As I don’t want to do the same thing here, I am going to take it slow. I will write all the requests I have, but, I will take my time, and I will write first the ones that inspires me the most, and not in the order I received them. I hope you will understand. I really really appreciate all your comments, the requests you make, you have very good ideas. I am truly thankful, you don’t even know how happy it makes me. But, I already struggle a lot in my everyday life, so I’m trying to take it easy on the only hobby I have, because this is the only one that I have left (and I don’t want to lose this one). I really appreciate you, thank you!!
Okay let’s get to the good part now!
(Y/e/n) = your ex’s name
Well well well, guess who doesn’t like what I just wrote? Yep, it’s me. I like the ending but not the rest of it. I struggled a little with that one. I actually struggle writing about jealousy, I don’t really know why! Hope you like it either way!
——————————————————————————————
Flashback
Music blasting, drinking beers, randomly singing and sometimes dancing, you both ended up talking on the couch around midnight. As you’re both very comfortable with each other and after drinking at least three beers, you can talk about everything. You were talking about all the great things that happened this year after the terrible year you had just before.
“What do you think our exes would say if they were seeing us right now?” You asked laughing.
“Oh- they would be so maaad” he laughed
“Right? Like I think he would be so jealous because I managed to get my shit together without him”
“Hell yeah, I think she would be jealous of our relationship”
“Oh yeah! Like we both have different interests in our careers but it doesn’t interfere with our relationship, like we don’t have to break up for that” you said sarcastically
“Agreed” you high-five and laugh “I remember she didn’t like that I was putting myself and my career first” he paused “but we both do it now so shame on her” you both burst out laughing
“I’m legitimately curious to know where they are at right now, like, did karma take care of them?” You both laughed again
“Yeah no, it’s too much drama I’d say”
“Agreed, breaking up when everything is fine can only bring him drama”
“Wait” he looked at you
“Yep, we were in love but he wanted to break up because he wanted to work in this big firm at the other end of the country and I may add that he didn’t even want to try here”
“What do you mean here?”
“I don’t remember the name of the firm but it’s here too. But he wanted to go in New-York, not even talking about it to me, not even asking me if I wanted to go with him, nothing”
“Damn”
“I’m glad we broke up”
“Cheers to that”
You spent the rest of the night talking about random stuff, imagining what your life would be if you were not actors, trying to create a fictional world, making a list of your favorite movies and songs, really doing random things.
End of flashback
“Pedro come on we’re going to be late for the movie!”
“We’re so not” he said arriving next to you
“It’s starts at nine and it’s.. eight thirty”
“and.. we have at least to drive twenty minutes”
“I’m good to go” he laughed
“Okay, I put my shoes on and let’s go”
“And who’s not ready right now?” You both laughed
“Don’t you dare” you pointed at him, laughing
After almost twenty minutes, you arrived at the theater.
“See? We’re on time” Pedro teased as you both entered. He put his hand on your shoulder as he let you come inside first, holding the door for you.
“You got lucky”
“Sure sure”
“Should we buy some popcorns?” You asked
“Oh yeah!”
“You buy the tickets and I buy the popcorns, deal?”
“Deal. And take two, don’t want you eating everything” you pretended to be offended.
You were waiting in line to buy popcorn when you heard a voice calling you.
“Y/n?” You turned around to see the infamous (y/e/n). You were surprised, and not happily surprised.
“(Y/e/n)? What are you doing here?”
“Going to watch a movie, I think that’s what we all are doing here” he joked. It didn’t make you laugh.
“No- I meant, what are you doing here in LA?”
“Oh yeah, well I came back a year ago, it didn’t really work in New York so they transferred me here” you couldn’t believe what you just heard. He threw your relationship away for literally nothing.
“Oh”
“And what about you?”
“Well, I finally made it in my acting career”
“Oh that’s great, congrats” he said. He seemed surprised, like it wasn’t true.
“Thanks”
“and.. do you have anyone.. right now?” You stared at him for a few seconds.
“Yes”
“Oh.. that’s good, that’s good” there was a brief moment of silence. “You’ve been together for-”
“None of your business” he stared at you, confused
“Well.. I’m glad to see you you know, it’s been a while.” He smiled, getting a little closer to you. You couldn’t believe what he was doing. “Maybe we could go grab a drink sometime? To catch up?” He said holding your hand. You were staring at his movements, not believing what was happening.
You didn’t see Pedro arriving next to you. He got really confused when he saw the scene happening in front of him. Jealousy was forming with a little bit of anger.
“What’s going on?” He asked, looking at the both of you. You immediately removed your hand. Yes finally, you thought to yourself.
“Hm.. Do you remember my ex we talked about a few times? Well there he is..” you said faking your happiness.
“Hi. You are?” Your ex asked to Pedro which made him laughed. He obviously knew him, but decided to go on that road and pretend not to.
“I’m her boyfriend” Pedro said angrily, putting his arm around your shoulders.
“Oh so you’re the one okay. How long have you been together?” He asked, only looking at you.
“More than a year now” Pedro answered making your ex looking at him
“Wow okay” he was shocked
“Well I wish I could say it was good to meet you, but we have to go” Pedro quickly said before you ex had the chance to say something else. Standing in front of him made Pedro feel so angry. He knew the story, what happened between the two of you, and the fact that he had the balls to try again after almost two years was unacceptable. How could he think that he had a chance again?
“Hm can I talk to you for a second before you go?” He asked to you, grabbing your arm, trying to pull you away from Pedro.
“Nope, I’m sorry, I can’t let you touch her” Pedro said, removing your ex’s arm from yours
“Who do you think you are?” You had to stop Pedro from slapping him. He was about to take him down.
“Okay I’m both stopping you right here” you said. “Pedro, he is not worth it.” You said, putting your hand on his stomach, trying to calm him down and to prevent him for making a mistake. “As for you” you said turning to face your ex. “I cannot believe you have the balls to ask me out again. No no. I cannot believe you have the balls to even talk to me again! After what you’ve done! You really think I want to do anything with you?” Your ex tried to talk, but you stopped him. “I don’t want to hear anything. Just stay away from me” you grabbed Pedro’s hand and left, going to actually watch the movie you came for.
You entered the room, sat down in the back, in the middle. There were not that many people with you. Your heart was racing, and Pedro saw that. He put his hand on your thigh.
“You okay?” He asked you
“Yeah, yeah.. didn’t expect that for sure” you joked
“Yeah me neither. I can’t believe that” he said now looking at the screen. You were looking at Pedro very thoroughly. You saw the anger on his face, how he was trying to contain himself not to get up and slap your ex.
“You’re jealous”
“Hm?” He now looked at you. “What?”
“Don’t pretend you’re not” you smiled
“No- I didn’t hear what you said”
“You’re jealous” he was confused
“What like that’s suppose to be surprising?” You didn’t expect his reaction, it made you laugh. “I come back to you to see your ex, standing in front of you, actually touching you and trying to get back with you! Like I shouldn’t be jealous!”
“I didn’t say it was a bad thing” you joked, grabbing his hand “that’s actually pretty hot” he smirked. “But.. can we forget about that and enjoy our movie?”
“Yes please” he said, getting comfortable in his chair. You got as closer as you could to him, still holding his hand and putting your head on his shoulder.
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192 notes · View notes
milkhwi · 3 months
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Casino Nights - Gambler! Chenle
Summary: Gambling and more gambling, that’s all that mattered to Chenle. The probability of him winning was always high until one day you showed up and decided to change that and his life, too.
genre: gambler! chenle x  gambler! reader
word count: 2.8k
warnings: illegal gambling & swearing probably not proof read enough
a/n: originally was supposed to be a bulleted scenario but honestly,, think this came out better idk anything about gambling dont do it kids- also it’s been in my draft since 2020 omg..4 years yeah last fic ever probably i’ve retired from my good old days. idk if anyone will read this but i’m proud :3 also my longest fic of my entire career who else cheered!
masterlist。
Dies being rolled, cards being shuffled, chips being placed, and bets being made. The casino was always full of gamblers- especially on a Saturday night. The casino was like a second home for Chenle. Every Saturday he would be there- gambling. Chenle, only being an eighteen year old, wasn’t allowed to enter a casino. Reason: age. Of course, it was no secret that gambling at that age was illegal. But Chenle was an exception. He knows how to gamble. In fact, he’s very good at it. The only reason he was allowed in the first place was because he’s rich. Being rich was an advantage to him. He put down exactly $10 million on the line- to which of course, anyone would accept if it was that amount of money. To make things worse, he was going to gamble against one of the best known gamblers. “If I win, I’ll be allowed to gamble and get twice the amount I’m betting. Alright?” Chenle said, with no tone in his voice.
Chenle’s opponent chuckled and smirked at him, “Alright kid, it’s a bet.”
Not long after, the best gambler out there was not only dethroned by an eighteen year old, but exactly 20 million in debt. Chenle chuckled slightly, “You were really that confident, huh?” His opponent gulped, he knew this was something so embarrassing that it would even haunt him in his dreams, “You cheated, didn’t you? Let’s go again, I’ll prove you wrong.” Chenle pretended to think about it, then nodded, betting down $30 million this time.
“Watch me close if you really think I’m cheating.” Everyone watching the game taking place was already sweating. Not long after, they were neck to neck- this made Chenle’s opponent laugh, relieved about the fact that he had a higher chance of winning, but since misfortune was on his side, Chenle won.
50 million in debt.
Suddenly his opponent stood up to say something, but immediately fell to his feet. Shaking at the realization. Chenle leaned towards him- towering him, “Wanna go again? Want to try proving me wrong again?” He said as his eyes darkened.
Everyone was shocked. How could someone so young be so deadly?
From that day on, Chenle became the youngest gambler. No one really opposed the idea of him becoming a gambler- especially at the gambling den and if they did, Chenle would ask them to play a few games.
Chenle did gambling as a hobby. For fun. No one really knew how he was so good at gambling. “He’s rich so he was probably taught in order to bring money to the house” or “What do you expect? It probably runs in the fucking family.”
The truth is, the first time Chenle gambled, he was at stake of losing everything. He wasn’t driven by money. He only gambled because he wanted to see how easy it was to see someone else defeated. He didn’t use his emotions- he used logic. After that, surprisingly- he didn’t get addicted to gambling like many do. Luckily, his parents weren’t aware of what he did in his spare time and they didn’t really care, either. 
His parents only cared that when he finally turned 21, he would take over the company- or when his dad retired and handed him the company. Chenle was completely fine with that but wanted to have a hobby that was amusing to the eye.
Once he got home back from gambling at an ungodly hour, he headed to his room. There was a golden envelope with his name written in calligraphy. He turned his head slightly, murmuring a slight “huh?” and opened the envelope. His eyes turned wide at the contents of the letter. He was invited to go to the most important event of the year, held once a year, the talk of the year- NCT, something anyone would die to attend. The only thing that went through his head was how much money he would make if he would gamble with the rich people attending the event.
-
“You’re gonna have to attend, alright?” His mother said, taking another sip from her coffee.
“I know. It’s next week, right?”
“Yes, so after your meetings and lunch go and get your suit tailored.” She smiled, and grabbed her bag heading out the door.
Chenle sighed, at the sight of the empty house and how alone he was in the morning. Once he finished his breakfast he headed out to his meetings.
-
The day finally arrived and his mood was going downhill. ‘It had to be on a saturday, didn’t it?’ Chenle rolled his eyes, knowing he won’t be able to go to the casino. He silently sat in the dining room waiting for his father to finish going through documents inside his office. “Your father is ready to see you.” His mother said, opening the door to the office, making Chenle stand up and head inside.
His father glanced at him and then back at his computer and continued typing. Chenle walked over to his father’s desk, causing him to stop typing and clasped his hands, “I heard your friends are also going to the event.” Chenle noded, a barely audible ‘yes’ coming out of his mouth.
“Well, besides that, put out some good words for the company and try to get us as many new customers you can.”
“Yes, father.”
Chenle’s head swayed back and forth, making his eyes flutter shut at the soft jazz music playing in the background while people talked amongst themselves. As his head was about to fall to the table, Jisung smacks the back of his head, causing him to jolt awake. Jisung laughs and says, “At this rate, you might as well go home.” 
Chenle looks at his watch and sighs, “It hasn’t even been an hour.” 
Jeno sits next to him and says, “Did your father tell you to promote his company?” 
“Yeah- like always.” 
Suddenly, two plates of food were placed in front of him, “While you’re at it, you should eat lots of food!” Jaemin grabbed one plate and started digging in. 
“He’s not wrong. We’re all probably gonna be stuck here for the rest of the night.” Renjun said, trying to grab food out of Jaemin’s plate. 
Chenle checks his watch again, realizing only two minutes have passed, sighing. He looked around trying to come up with a plan on how to leave without anyone noticing in order to go to the casino. He stands up waving slightly, “Anyways, I’ll catch you guys later.” 
“Where are you going?” Donghyuck says, his mouth stuffed with food.
“It’s a saturday.” 
All of them collectively sigh at Chenle- knowing he was doing something he wasn’t supposed to do, but allowed him to do it anyways since they were all friends.
Chenle wandered around aimlessly around the building. Trying to find an exit that was not the front door seemed harder than he thought. At times he got distracted at how many people he had to greet or how the lights oozed an unexplainable aura. He goes up the flight of stairs trying to see if there was a way out. As he looks around, he stops and gazes at you- because of how dark it is, he doesn’t recognize who you are.  But all he knows is, he has never seen you before at these past parties. Even though a lot of people attend, he knows everyone by memory. He continues going up the stairs trying to get a closer look at you, trying not to lose sight of you either. He shakes his head, thinking about how he should find an exit instead. 
About two hours later, he enters the gambling den and a familiar smell lingers around causing him to smile. It has only been a week but he already missed the sounds of the slots and the ambient music playing in the background. As he was walking to the furthest part of the den, he noticed how many people were causing a commotion around a table of blackjack. There you were. Betting with some random old rich man. Chenle shook his head lightly, sighing at the fact that you most likely have lost- if not thousands by now. He signals towards a dealer near your table and shifts his eyes towards you, asking what you were doing here. 
“They’ve been here for an hour. And they’ve won all their games already.”
His ears perked up to that new piece of information. All games won? Chenle loves a challenge. As he walks towards your table, watching you win. He reaches his hand out, “Let’s play a simple game of poker, shall we? I heard you’re pretty good for the hour you’ve already been here.”
“You’re not afraid to lose?” You say scanning Chenle’s face.
“Absolutely not, I have faith in myself.” 
You were in his territory after all, why would he be afraid? Especially if he’s never seen you around. So he put all his chips to bet. 
“Already? But it’s just the first game” You furrowed your eyebrows debating whether to believe if he was really good at this game. 
“One game is all I need.” Chenle said, as he sat down. 
You smirked, realizing how confident he sounded, you placed all your chips down, too. 
And so, the game began with the dealer handing both of you 7 cards. People were already gathering around the both of you. Watching and waiting for this weird tension to be cut. With your poker faces on, the game began, rotating from one another. 
“Raise” You said, causing Chenle to look up from his cards again. Although Chenle looked unaffected from the outside, he was confused, why would you raise again? Was your hand actually that much better than his? Or were you just bluffing? His hand wasn’t all that good, but he needed to win. He always wins. But this game seemed to feel like it was taking too long. 
“Raise, too” Not wanting to back down, Chenle was determined to win. He never felt like he was going to lose against you. Maybe you had a one hour win streak, but he was about to break it. 
Full house. A tie. Everyone started murmuring around the table. A tie? Against the infamous Chenle? Even Chenle looked slightly upset at this. But even this had a solution, he had the highest kind of a full house, automatically winning. 
“Congrats, I’m Y/n by the way. New to the area, heard the rumors, and I guess they were true! Let’s do this again next time, shall we?” Before Chenle could speak, you were heading out, and he was too stunned at the fact that he almost lost a game to some newbie.
“The Zhong Chenle.. almost lost?” Haechan said, bursting out in laughter. Jisung and Jaemin seemed to hold in their laughter in order to not hurt his ego, but hearing Heachans contagious laugh, they couldn’t hold it in.
“Guys stop laughing, this should come off as surprising instead. I mean, a newbie? And a tie at that?” Mark said, while also trying not to laugh. Jeno shook his head, looking at the ground, not wanting to add fuel to the fire.
“I lost my mind that night. I don’t know what to feel.” Chenle sighed, still astonished by what happened almost a week ago.
“Are you gonna go tonight?” Jeno asked, out of curiosity.
“Take us with you this time! I wanna see you get your ass kicked!” Renjun hit Chenle’s shoulder playfully.
He sighed and nodded, “Fine, just don’t say anything stupid.”
Night fall came, which meant gambling night! Chenle brought the boys and was looking around to see if you would show up again. And so, you did.
You walked up to Chenle, tapping him on his soldier, innocently smiling, “Hi! I sure hope you weren’t too hung up on last week’s match” To that remark, Chenle felt his neck burn up, out of embarrassment. The boys looked at him, their jaws almost dropping. They didn’t expect that to be the way the night was starting, but it was probably going to go downhill from that. 
-
After a few games, that Chenle obviously won. Your interest in him peaked, you were the same age as him after all, and wanted to know what made him more special than the rest. But your ultimate goal was to win a game against him in less than 5 months. This caused you to show up to the den even on the days Chenle never showed up for. But of course, he found out a week after, so he started showing up more, just to see what you were up to. It was strange, really. Both of you were gamblers, but the fact that he felt a connection with you since he tied a game with you was what kept him wondering. The fact that you kept coming and blowing up thousands of dollars just to play with him was also strange. You were a good gambler, keeping Chenle invested in your games. And so, you would meet outside of the gambling den, during the daytime to eat lunch or even dinner. He learned your hobbies, besides gambling all your money away and learned you were an exchange student with rich parents in the other side of the earth that would send you pocket money every weekend to treat yourself. Of course, they didn’t know you were blowing it off to some games every weekend, as long as you kept it hidden and kept a low profile, everything would be fine. 
Chenle felt like the closest person you’ve met in your life. You cherished your friendship with him, but after realizing it’s been 4 months since you’ve known him, you felt a strange sensation of wanting to be even closer to him. And you didn’t know if he felt the same. You didn’t want to risk it anyways. The fact that you managed to figure out how to beat him after 8 weeks of gambling with him and keeping up an act to let him win was something you didn’t wanna tell him. But you were going home for the summer soon and wanted to know if you were even coming back. So you decided to wait 2 more weeks and win against him officially. 
“I can’t believe you’re leaving soon.” Chenle said, sitting down at your usual table. 
“And I’m spending my last days at the casino, how funny is it?” You smiled feeling a sense of competitiveness rush up. “By the way, can I pick the game?”
Chenle nodded realizing they haven’t played a few certain games in a while. And one of them was poker.  “Poker it is.” 
As always, people were dying to see Chenle play against anyone, knowing he would win. But this time you weren’t gonna hesitate. As the dealer handed you  cards, you realized you had to win no matter what.
A straight flush. Everyone cheered around you. Chenle seemed to have gotten the second highest hand out of the deck, and there was no way your bluff was going to work against him. So, you showed your cards. A royal flush. The highest hand. Everyone stood quiet. Even Chenle couldn’t believe his eyes. He clapped, slowly causing everyone around you to cheer, “I knew you could do it, I always believed you.” 
As if it was the adrenaline or the amount of people around you, you suddenly spoke and said “Chenle, I like you”
People took this as a cue and fled to different directions, not wanting to know what was going to happen next. Chenle’s eyes widened slightly and chuckled lightly, “I like you too, so come back as soon as you can”
That summer, Chenle would finally take over the company, which meant he would stop gambling if he didn’t wanna risk the future of the company. And you were working under your parent’s company but managed to land a sweet deal with Chenle’s company while his father still ran it and was allowed to work back with Chenle. 
Taking trips to Sin City was something you adored with Chenle. The faces of other gamblers were priceless when you or him managed to win flawlessly, and with no “record” of ever gambling before. You hardly ever lost any money, so it was only ever done for fun. 
“Chenle, I want to tell you something..” 
“Go on”
“I figured out how to beat you and let you win multiple times afterwards.”
“Oh, it clicked to me the first time we met, I think I got lucky the first time we met.” 
“Wait- really?”
“Yeah, but I was also really lucky that we met that night, I mean what were the odds?” Chenle says, planting a kiss on your lips gently, causing both of you to reminisce about the first time you met.  
33 notes · View notes
vodika-vibes · 7 months
Note
How’s about some Waxer with “Finger tracing their bottom lip, eyes never leaving their parted lips, before meeting them in the middle again, because one time isn’t enough”? Please and thank you~~ 😊
Once Isn't Enough
Summary: You have a date with Waxer
Pairing: Clone Trooper Waxer x Reader
Word Count: 1010
Warnings: None
Tagging: @trixie2023 @n0vqni
A/N: Sorry that this took so long! I hope you like it~
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You’re nervous.
But only a little. You’ve never been on a blind date before, but your friend swears, up and down, that you’ll like the man she’s setting you up with. 
You’re a little doubtful, she doesn’t exactly have a good track record with this kind of stuff, but you’re giving her the benefit of the doubt. With the knowledge that if this date goes wrong, you’ll never have to see him again.
You nervously twist this way and that, checking your outfit for anything that might make it look bad, and once you’re sure that your outfit is as perfect as you could possibly make it, you slide your shoes on and head out the door.
You agreed to meet your date near the fountain at a park nearby, and, well, you’re going to be early, but that’s okay.
It’s about fifteen minutes later when someone approaches you. He calls your name, and you look up at him curiously. He’s taller than you, with a shaved head and a goatee. “I’m Waxer.” He says as he holds his hand out for  you to shake.
You greet him with a warm smile as you take his hand, “It’s very nice to meet you,” 
“Likewise,” Waxer says cheerfully, “Honestly, I wasn’t sure you actually existed.”
You shoot him a puzzled look, “Well, it’s not exactly normal for someone to approach me and as if I would be willing to go on a blind date with her best friend.” Waxer clarifies.
And you laugh, “Yes, she’s like that. She’s been trying to set me up on dates for months now.”
“Yeah? You have another date after this one?”
You shake your head, “No. Actually this is the first time I’ve taken her up on her offer of a date.” Your smile becomes slightly shy, “I had a good feeling about this one.”
Waxer looks surprised for a moment, and then a delighted smile crosses his face. He sketches a bow, “Well then, I shall aspire to not disappoint you.”
“I’m quite sure that you won’t.” You step closer to him, “So, where are we headed?”
“Ah, well…” He pulls a pair of tickets out of his pocket, “Your friend mentioned that you’re a botanist, so I bought us tickets for the botanical gardens.”
Your face brightens, “Oh! I love the gardens. And everything will be blooming at this time of year. Have you ever been?”
“Ah, no. This would be my first visit.” He slides the tickets back into his pocket, and you hook your arm with his, hesitant at first and then a little more confident when he doesn’t pull away.
“Well, you’re in luck. I’m something of an expert.”
“Well, aren’t I a lucky man?” He murmurs with a small smile, “I’m sure you won’t lead me astray.”
Several hours later, you’re already planning a second date with Waxer. He’s been a perfect gentleman, and he actively listens to you when you talk, asking questions and making comments about whatever you’re talking about.
You can honestly say that you’ve never been on a better date. Which is kind of sad, if you think about it too much. 
He doesn’t talk much about his job, which is fair, though he did mention that he was part of the 212. Mostly, though, Waxer spent his time talking about himself and his brothers, and about weird situations that he’s been in while deployed that have nothing to do with the war itself.
And in turn, you talk about yourself and your friends, as well as your hobbies and your career. He seemed really interested in your family, when you mentioned them, and his sheepish admittance that he doesn’t know what a proper family is like, has you planning on introducing him to your parents sooner rather than later.
And before you know it the majority of the day has gone by, and you’re…not ready for the date to end yet. 
“I’ll, uh…walk you home, if you like?” Waxer offers as he smooths his hand over his head, and then rubs the back of his neck. 
“I’d like that.” You reply with an easy smile, as you fall into step next to him. It takes almost all of your courage to take his hand and thread your fingers with his, but you manage it. And you’re rewarded with a gentle smile, and a squeeze of your fingers.
And you’re halfway home, when you come to a decision.
Slowly you stop, and Waxer stops a little ahead of you, the puzzled look turning into concern, “Is something wrong?”
You rapidly shake your head, a small, nervous smile on your lips. “No. Nothing.”
“Then why did you stop?”
You take a step towards him, raise up onto your toes, and press your lips against his. You bring your free hand up to rest gently on his cheek, and his hand presses against your cheek as well.
And then you pull away. Your face is burning with embarrassment, and there’s an apology on your lips, but you stop before you can apologize.
One of Waxer’s fingers lightly traces over your lips, and his gaze is locked on your parted lips. And then he leans back in, and you meet him halfway, because you know that just one kiss won’t be enough. 
In fact, you’re pretty sure that ten kisses won’t be enough.
This time, when you separate from him, he presses his forehead against yours. His dark gaze is locked with yours, and there's a smile on his lips, “What did I do to deserve that?” He asks, his voice slightly breathless, “Because I want to make sure I do it again.”
You laugh, just as breathlessly, “I just wanted to kiss you, that’s all.”
Waxer tilts his head so that his lips are hovering just over yours, “What a coincidence. I want that too.”
“Would you like to stay for dinner?” You ask, softly.
“Yes.” And then his lips are on yours again, as if he couldn’t help himself. And, really, the feeling is entirely mutual.
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stuckinapril · 7 months
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hey how do i deal with the crippling loneliness that makes me go on tinder to try and talk to people and dm people in my classes to try and make a friend <3 help
Wanting friends is nothing to be ashamed of!! Don’t be too hard on yourself for trying to build friendships. This is coming from someone who used to be a cripplingly shy teenager in hs. I had maybe two people I could actually call friends / felt comfortable hanging out with. Then one day I woke up & realized that my shyness wasn’t inherent shyness but rather just insecurity and reluctance to put myself in the uncomfortable scenario of approaching people. So I challenged myself w going up to people and initiating things, and sometimes it worked and sometimes it didn’t, and now I have multiple friend groups and any periods of solitude are a choice. It gets better. I promise.
Whether your case is similar to mine or you’re just introverted by nature, you will find people who complement you in the ways you want. It all starts w just accepting that putting yourself out there may come w rejection, and it may come w a little bit of resistance, and that these negative feelings at the beginning are completely okay and natural. I had like no stamina back when I was breaking out of my shell. I was literally exhausted after hanging out w someone like once a week. Now I look back and laugh bc I’m such a different person. You are absolutely not doomed to loneliness.
My biggest. Biiiiggest piece of advice is not to operate from a place of lack. Not having something does not mean lacking it. It just means you don’t have it right now. If you do approach friendship as if starved for it, you’ll tolerate the most toxic people just for the sake of not being alone. Absolutely not worth it. This is where you need to start working on your self-esteem via self-esteem building things (hobbies, skills, taking care of yourself etc etc) so that you become not only someone who’s confident they do not need to cling to anyone for validation and fulfillment, but also someone who enjoys being alone. That’s an important skill to foster even if you’re the most extroverted social butterfly out there. No good can come from finding other people’s company more valuable than your own.
As for practical advice—I cannot recommend school clubs more, whether you’re in uni or hs. They host socials and are the breeding ground for making friendships, bc you already know you share at least one interest in common w the people there. And if you want to make friends in classes: compliment someone on their outfit. Ask someone about the homework you just got assigned. Literally whatever you can think of as a talking piece. If they’re not receptive, oh well. It’s on to the next. Literally none of these interactions will matter in 5 years, so you might as well put your social skills to practice now rather than when you’re starting a career and it’s a much harder minefield to navigate. Now is the time for mistakes and missteps and embarrassments and also for some fun !! Do not take yourself too seriously and just enjoy the process of finding out what works. If I could do it, you can too <3
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ersatzpenguin · 7 months
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I—a mom who is rapidly approaching an age that can no longer be described as her “mid 30s”—have been thinking of things I wish I had known/done when I was younger. Specifically, things that would have helped me avoid and/or minimize the many quarter (mid?) life crises I’ve had. And instead of just keeping these to myself, wallowing in my own mistakes, I’m going to share them with you fine Tumblrinas. Did you ask? No. But I’m doing it anyway.
Routinely ask yourself whether you’re doing what *you* want to do, or what *others* want you to do. You’re living *your* life, not theirs. High-priority subjects to consider: your sexuality, gender, career, partner(s), living situation, etc. AKA, find the potential crisis and act on it before it becomes a crisis. Active misery should not be a prerequisite for change.
Life (and capitalism) can be constraining, but many things we assume can’t be done or can’t change *can* be done and *can* change with effort and time. There may be tradeoffs involved, but telling yourself some things can’t be done/can’t change just means they never will.
Related: Depression, anxiety, etc. show up in a lot of ways, and they will fuck up your life if left untreated. So, get treatment. Not everyone benefits from the same things, and some therapists can be actively bad, but using that fact to avoid getting the help you need is not recommended.
Learn a second language if you haven’t already, and go live in another country for a while if at all possible. Even if you end up moving home, living in another country can be a great opportunity to break out of your own (potentially harmful) routines/environment, learn from others, and practice empathy.
Pick up a creative/expressive hobby. You do not have to be good at it. Making something with your own hands/brain is very rewarding and will improve your mental health significantly.
Pleather jackets are cool, but also basically like wearing a plastic bag. If you get active while wearing one and don’t unzip it, you will start to become soup very quickly—and not a tasty one like potato soup, either.
And there you have it. The wisdom I’ve gained from decades of trying to human, and frequently having not so great a time of it. I hope it’s helpful. If not, whatever. You do you. Some lessons you gotta learn the hard way.
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sgrdoll · 2 years
Text
Bet on It
synopsis - aew star hook has a fascination with the pretty makeup artist backstage. his friend bets he can’t go an entire night without bothering her.
warnings - smut, fuckboy!hook, hook shamelessly yearning, ofc, sub!ofc, dom!hook, blowjob, face fucking
a/n - hi! i’m back again but with something a little different. i know this probably won’t be my most popular fic bc it’s such a niche fandom. however, i really like pro wrestling and i hope you all can enjoy this fic regardless of if you like it or not. love you guys!!!
masterlist
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Tyler’s eyes narrowed when she walked across the room. The way she dressed made him want to throw his head back and groan.
He was leaned against the wall watching her do the makeup of some of the women that were going on tonight.
As far as he knew she was the head makeup artist for the company and did her job pretty damn good, always in a pair of heels with her hair perfectly done too.
The outfit she had on today was a little more revealing than what he was used to but he definitely didn’t mind. The baby pink skirt and matching top made her body look out of this fucking world.
Tyler had never needed to go to the makeup chair before so they had never officially crossed paths. However, he’s been watching her since the first time Cody brought his wrestling class to their first TV taping.
She’s always there, and she’s always working. Currently, she was talking to Britt while doing some crazy eyeshadow look on her that seemed impossibly difficult to him.
Ty could hear her giggle from where he was standing and he wanted nothing more than to go over there and drag her back to his private lockeroom and have his way with her.
“Again, man? You gotta leave her alone,” Dante Martin put a hand on his shoulder which Tyler immediately shrugged off.
He knew he was joking but it still hit a little too close to him. Tyler always wondered if she noticed him and the close eye he kept on her. 
“Shut up. Don’t you have a top rope or something to jump off?” Tyler rolled his eyes.
“Why don’t you just go talk to her,” Dante ignored his previous comment.
“What would I even say? ‘Oh hey, I’ve been staring at you for the past year and I want to do you in my hotel room?’”
Dante laughed, “You don’t obsess over a girl for an entire year and only want to fuck her. We both know you actually like her.”
Ty had never had a serious relationship before and didn’t desire it. He was very focused on his career and didn’t have time for any distractions, even ones with impossibly long legs and high cheek bones.
“That’s exactly why I can’t talk to her. I’m way too busy. I don’t have time to treat her like she deserves,” he grumbled back in response.
His friend grinned, “How can you say shit like that and not see it?”
“See what, asshole,” he hissed back.
“That you’re not going to be able to just stop thinking about her.”
“I could totally stop thinking about her if I wanted to. She’s like, like a side hobby,” Tyler responded a bit flustered.
“A side hobby?” Dante was hysterically laughing at this point.
“If she’s such a side hobby, let’s make a bet,” Dante said to him.
“Oh yeah? What kind of bet?” Tyler was intrigued at this point. He was never one to turn down a challenge. He stopped leaning on the wall and stood up straight.
“If you can leave her alone for the rest of the show - that means no looking at her, no standing by the makeup chairs, and no scaring off the rookies who try and flirt with her - I’ll pay for you to finish the rest of your sleeve,” Dante said slyly.
Tyler’s eyebrows shot up in surprise, “Dude, my tattoo artist is charging me $2500 in cash for that.”
“I know. But I’m almost positive you won’t win,” he laughed.
“What happens if I lose?” Ty inquired.
“I get your private lockeroom for 5 more Dynamites,” Dante responded matter of factly.
“Bro, my dad rents that out for me.”
“Yeah and everyone fucking hates you for it,” Dante added.
“Call me daddy’s money all you want but I get to do my pre-match ritual in silence, without you assholes screaming in my ear.”
“And that’s what I want.”
“Fine. You have a deal,” Tyler stuck his hand out and Dante shook it.
“There’s no way you’re winning,” Dante cackled while walking away from him.
Tyler walked to catering and tried not to think about her there without him. It was stupid really. She had been working there longer than he had and he was scared for her well-being.
He sighed and stabbed the chicken on his plate with a fork. It was going to be a long ass night.
-
Dynamite had started a couple of hours later and he had a match tonight, but for some reason he couldn’t focus.
Well, not some reason. He knew the exact reason, and she was most likely sucking on hard candy and playing on her phone in the backstage area.
Tyler tried hard to shake it off, he really did. But he couldn’t jepordize his match for some stupid bet.
His phone dinged and it was a text message from Dante.
Are you cracking yet, lover boy?
Tyler wanted to hurl his phone at the wall. He felt like he was going absolutely insane. He wanted to slap himself for allowing his attraction to her for getting this far.
Ty hated to admit it to himself, but he did actually like her. He liked her much more than a one night stand or a casual hookup.
He had been going backing forth between the pros and cons of just going to find her when the Bucks walked into his dressing room.
Tyler immediately stood up from his seated position when they walked in. He pulled himself together so he could talk to his bosses.
He stuck his hand out to shake theirs, “What can I do for you guys?”
After they finished shaking hands with each other Matt started talking, “It’s about your match tonight. Tony made a last minute decision for you to go over.”
Tyler’s face was one of surprise, “Like, win the TNT title?”
“Yeah,” Matt brushed over this news, “Sorry it’s on such short notice, kid.”
“No, don’t sweat it. I’m psyched,” Tyler tried to keep his cool.
“We figured you would be. Go change the finish with Sammy and you’ll be set. We watched you guys practice this morning and the match you have planned should stay the same. The only change we want is for you to tap him out,” Nick instructed the young talent.
“Of course. Thank you so much. This means a lot to me,” Tyler was very grateful for this opportunity but also incredibly nervous.
The group exchanged pleasantries for a while longer until they left the room. Ty could feel his heart speeding up. There was no way he could go out to win a title feeling like this.
His palms were sweating and despite the news he had his focus was still somewhere else. He checked his watch to see he had an hour and thirty minutes until he was gonna go out.
Fuck the bet.
There was no way in hell Ty was going to fuck up the biggest match of his career over a bet.
He threw a hoodie and sweats over his gear and stepped out of dressing room, already feeling the clouds clear out of his head.
Ty booked it to the makeup chairs like he was being chased.
He stopped just a few steps behind where she was lounging.
She was perched on one of the chairs with her legs swinging. She was on her phone with a cherry red sucker in her mouth, just as he suspected.
She was a sight for sore eyes and he felt relief wash over him knowing she was perfectly fine.
“Hey,” he said suddenly making her look up from her phone. His voice was a surprise to his own ears. He had never spoken to her and now was probably not the best time to start.
She looked up at him from her chair and took the sucker out of her mouth, “Hey.”
The way she was smiling at his made his chest ache, “I was wondering if you could fix my hair before my match. I totally slept on it wrong.”
She looked skeptical. Tyler knew he sounded stupid. His hair was probably the easiest in the world to manage. All he did was run a brush through it and call it a day.
“Of course. Hook, right?” She called him by his in ring name.
He chuckled as he sat down in her chair, “Yeah, but you can call me Tyler.”
When her fingers began to comb through his hair he wanted to groan.
“I’m Ariane, but everyone around her calls me Ari.”
He finally knew her name and it fit her perfectly. He could feel all of his nerves slipping from his body as she touched him. It was like she had some sort of magnetic aura that dissipated all of his anxiety.
He stayed quiet as she moved his hair every which way. Her long pink acrylics were perfectly scratching his scalp. Ty fought the urge to shiver and lean into her touch.
“What gear are you wearing tonight?” Ari asked.
“I’ve got the orange on tonight.”
“You always wear those,” she teased, “What about the chain?”
He pulled his gold chain out of his hoodie and showed her. He was impressed she knew he always wore a chain to the ring. It made Ty smile that Ari watched him maybe as much as he watched her.
She moved from behind him to get a better look at the chain.
Ari leaned in and touched the chain around his neck. Her tan fingers brushed against the pulse point on his neck. He closed his eyes and took in a breath. Her long dark extensions created a curtain between them and the outside world. Tyler wanted to feel her hands on him forever.
Their eyes locked for a second and she smiled at him in a way that made him want to bend her over his lap and make her start fucking counting.
He tried not to lose control of the situation. It felt like she was holding him in the palm of her hand.
“This is really nice. It’s different than the ones you usually wear,” Ariane said finally and stepping away from him.
His mouth twitched into a small smile, “You pay a lot of attention to my chains?”
“You’re the only guy on the roster who doesn’t ask for my advice on gear. I like to see what you’re wearing.”
“Well, this one was my dad’s in the 90’s. He wore it when he proposed to my mom,” Ty couldn’t figure out why he was volunteering this information. He kept most of his personal life to himself but she made him spill his guts with only a few words.
“And you’re wearing it to win your first title,” she must’ve noticed the look he gave her, “You tend to hear a lot when you’re doing an entire roster’s makeup and hair.”
“The chain is a good luck charm. It made my mom say yes, maybe it’ll keep me from fucking up any spots,” he joked.
“I’ve never seen you mess up a spot before,” Ari rolled her eyes adorably.
Tyler really wanted to grab her and kiss her. Actually, he wanted to do more than that, he wanted to take her back to his dressing room and flip up that impossibly tiny skirt and fuck her. He had to get himself back under control.
He took a deep breath and stood up. He was standing almost chest to chest with her. Ty had a few inches on her, even with her heels. He looked down at her parted lips and smiled.
“Next time you have any advice on my gear, you can come find me in my dressing room,” his words dripped with sexual innuendo that made her noticeably flustered.
He walked away from the makeup area and to gorilla. Ty stripped down into his gear and waited for the women’s match to end.
He felt way more confident than he had in his lockeroom. Tyler was calm, satiated even. He talked to Ari for the first time ever and even flirted with her. He could comfortably take her off of his mind for now.
He was ready to go out there and have the best match of his life.
Even though he felt on top of the world, he still felt anxiety pooled in his belly. Any person in their right mind would.
This is going to be his first title run and he wants it to be amazing.
“Hey,” Sammy grabbed his shoulder, “The Bucks wanted me to come talk about the match with you.”
His calm attitude didn’t last long when he heard Sammy’s voice. Sammy Guevera was not an easy person to be around. Almost everyone on the roster hated him, besides his equally annoying wife, Tay.
“Yeah. All we have to do is keep the same combinations until the last three minutes. They want a submission victory so I was thinking you try for a frog splash and I catch you midair. I’ll give you a couple of suplexes and then put you in the redrum.”
“Whatever,” sammy rolled his eyes like the asshole he is, “I’m still pissed they sprung this on me last minute.”
“Maybe it’s because you called one of the most experienced veterans in the back a jobber,” Ty spit back at him.
Just because they had a match did not mean they had to like each other.
“Let’s just get this over with,” Sammy grumbled while walking away.
As the semi-main event ended with Britt holding her championship with a confident smirk on her face. He felt like his chest was on fire the closer it got to his match.
Tyler stood up and took a deep breath. He had seven minutes until his entire life would be changed.
He knew he had to go out first and stood at the curtain.
-
The match went off without a hitch. Tyler was surprised considering Sammy kept giving him stiff punches and slapping him in the face.
Ty kept it professional, though and managed to finish the match without actually beating the shit out of him.
He walked to the back with the TNT titled draped over his shoulder as the backstage personnel and Tony Khan gave him a standing ovation.
His dad was the first person to hug him and tell him how proud he was. Tyler fought tears when they embraced.
He thanked everyone profusely and spoke to Tony privately about how grateful he was.
Ty was in the middle of picking up his sweats and hoodie when Dante came into view. He mentally groaned, he was going to get so much shit from him.
Dante wrapped gave Tyler a hug and when he pulled away he smiled, “Couldn’t do it could ya, champ?”
“Fuck off,” Tyler groaned, “It was the only way that match wasn’t gonna be shit. It was impossible to focus with her on my mind.”
“You sound like a fucking love sick puppy,” Dante laughed at him.
“Yeah yeah. What are we doing to celebrate?” Ty smirked at his friend.
“I’ve got some of the boys together and we can go grab drinks downtown. This is my first time in Nashville so I think Bowens is picking.”
“Sounds great. Let me go take a quick shower,” he replied walking away.
“Enjoy that private shower while it lasts!” Dante called from behind him.
Tyler just flipped him off and kept walking to his dressing room. He really was dreading giving it away for five weeks.
Just before he made it to his lockeroom he saw Ari leaning against the wall next to the his dressing room door texting on her phone.
“Hey,” he smiled at her.
She looked up at him, “Hey, champ. That was a great match. Congratulations.”
Her smiled was so genuine and happy it made his heart flutter a little bit, “Thanks. Hey, some of the guys are going out to celebrate. Wanna come with?”
Tyler watched as her green eyes lit up at the prospect of going out with him.
“I’d love to, but before I think you told me I should come into your lockeroom when I had any thoughts about your gear,” she gave him a sultry look through her false eyelashes.
His mouth quirked into a smile, “Yeah, and what is it you wanna say about my gear, doll?”
“I think it would look much better off,” she had an innocent look in her eyes despite the words she was saying.
This turned him onto no end. He didn’t even bother to say anything else, he just opened the door and pulled her inside.
He quickly locked the door and pressed her against it. Their lips touched and it felt like his skin was buzzing against her own.
He kissed a trail down her neck. He sucked and nipped at the delicate skin until there was a distinct hickey.
“Such a fucking tease all the time, hm? All those tiny little outfits” He said against her neck.
Tyler could hear her shaky breathing and the occasional whimper.
He smiled against her skin and finally pulled away, “If you want to stop, just say so.”
With that he tugged her over to the couch and pulled her onto his lap.
Their mouths were on one another’s in an instant. Their lips moved in a feverish manner, as if they couldn’t get enough of each other.
Ari was the first to pull away, “Let me properly congratulate you on your win, champ.”
She slinked down to her knees in front of him and put her hands on his bare thighs.
Tyler’s hand ran through her hair and Ari spoke again, “It’s a wonder it’s taken you this long to say something.”
He looked down at her in confusion as she started to palm him through his shorts, “I’ve seen you stand at my makeup station for months and stare at my ass. That’s why I’m dressed like this tonight.”
She kissed his thigh and whispered, “Just for you.”
Tyler finally said something, “Dressing like a whore at work just to impress me? I’m honored, baby.”
Ari rested her head against his thigh and stared at his hard on still confined in his pants.
Ty wrapped a hand in her and forced her to sit up properly, “Are you gonna let the champ fuck your face doll?”
She nodded eagerly, “Please fuck my face Tyler.”
He didn’t have to hear anymore, he pulled his cock out, “Stick your tongue out.”
Ariane shivered at his dominant voice and did what she was told.
He used his hand that was wrapped in her hair to guide her down his cock. Ty slowly sunk his cock in her mouth and groaned out when she made it to the base.
She began gagging a little bit and he let her pull off, ��You’re so big,” she whimpered.
Ty thought she looked so cute like this, almost frustrated she couldn’t take him all the way down her throat, “You’ll make it work, baby.”
She wrapped her lips around his tip and looked up at him to signal that she was ready for him to continue
He started bobbing her head up and down his cock. His groans made her even wetter than she was.
Ty kept cursing in his deep voice and watched as he fingers snaked in between her legs and underneath her skirt.
“Cant even handle sucking cock without something inside you? Fucking hell,” he chastised her while moving her head faster.
He threw his head back when she started swirling her tongue around his length.
“Fuck,” Ty said aloud, “I’m gonna cum down that pretty throat.”
She nodded her head around him to assure him it was okay. Somehow he forced her to choke his cock down even faster.
Ari sucked impossibly hard and his hips bucked up into her mouth right before he came. She felt his hot seed shoot down her throat in long spurts and whimpered around him.
When he was finished with her he took her off of him.
They both stopped for a moment, him breathless and her with spit around her mouth and tears in her eyes.
“Come here,” he said while putting his shorts back on properly.
Ari obediently sat in the couch next to him before he grabbed her waist and sat her on his lap.
His arms wrapped around her, “We don’t have to go out with them tonight. We can go back to my hotel room and talk or something. I don’t want you to think I wanted this as a one time thing.”
Her voice was hoarse when she first started talking, “Today is a big day for you. You deserve to go out and celebrate.”
“Did you drive here?” He asked, ignoring her last comment.
“No, I ubered, why?”
“I’ll drive you back to the hotel then. Or the bar, it whatever you want, baby,” he smiled at her warmly.
She whined, “I can’t let you not celebrate you’re first title win. I’ll come with you to the bar and we can talk about all of this later.”
Tyler kissed the crown of Ari’s, “You know this wasn’t a one time thing for me, right? I want to have something real for you.”
She lifted her gaze to his, “Then we’re on the same page.”
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Note
Iz Hands x a reader with sensory issues. Mostly with voice though, not much with texture and other things. Reader is a good fighter and shit, much like Blackbeard, but just can't stand the constant yelling and noise. I just feel like it'd be interesting to explore that. Izzy noticing reader flinching or covering their ears when he yells and feeling bad. He wants to help but doesn't know how. Maybe they talk and Izzy realizes how much the noise effects them and is sort of like "How the fuck did you captain a ship before then" but later tries to make them or get the crew to make them something to block out noise. Sort of the 1700s equivalent to noise cancelling headphones.
Quiet
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Ship: Izzy Hands x Reader (implied romantic but vague enough to be platonic) Notes: You’re a well known pirate and friend of Ed’s, eager to be along for the ride with this strange new world of his. You're skilled enough that when you suddenly react strangely to Izzy yelling at you. He decides to investigate and then help. Warnings: some descriptions of sensory overload, Izzy being bad at comfort (he’s trying)
Honesty, you’d been doomed to this fate the moment you were on a ship with Izzy yells-as-a-hobby Hands.  The only reason it hadn’t happened already was purely luck. But your luck could only last so long.  
You’d had sensitive hearing your whole life. In all honesty, it was an asset as much as it was a hindrance. After all, no one had  been able to sneak up on you. But most times it was a problem. You never knew why but occasionally sound just became unbearable.  Voices in particular. Sometimes hearing someone yell felt like taking a point blank cannon blast to the head.  Usually you could pretend that none of it bothered you. You had developed an art to hiding your flinches and holding back your reactions during your long and successful pirating career. 
But you couldn’t always manage that.  And currently, you were having an incredibly hard time.
It probably wasn’t actually Izzy that pushed you over the edge. Well, at least not only Izzy. The crew’d had a party the night before to celebrate a really good raid. That alone was a lot. 
And now Izzy was yelling as usual. Your brain was so busy screaming about how loud it was you actually had no idea what he was actually complaining about. Each syllable grated on your mind. You were as tense as a bowstring trying incredibly hard to focus on anything but the sound to no avail. Your hands almost trembled so you let go of the rigging you were trying to redo to try and calm the shaking. 
Everything was so damn loud.
You closed your eyes and tried to focus. No dice. You had to get out of here. 
Loud…
Maybe you could make up a reason? Maybe you could say you were hungover from last night's party? Or maybe you just weren’t feeling well? Though, both of those excuses were liable to get you yelled at by Izzy Hands for slacking off… Shit.
Loud.
Maybe you could escape to the stores? When had anyone done inventory last? Or you could climb up to the crows nest? That might be quieter? Maybe-
If you were not as overwhelmed as you were, you would have definitely heard someone getting closer but now, you only realized when a hand grabbed your arm and spun you around. The suddenness of the action did not help your racing mind. Neither did the fact that Izzy Fucking Hands was currently yelling in your face. Your long suffering composure finally broke and you flinched back, clasping your hands over your ears and pulling away. You felt your back hit the railing and your shoulders shaking from gasping. 
Quiet.
Everything was suddenly quiet.
More so than it would be if you had properly covered your ears. Something was up. You peeked your eyes open and saw the whole crew staring at you, dead quiet. Even Izzy, shockingly, had backed up, looking confused at you.
Shit.
“I-” You managed. “Uh.” You fumbled for words, hands still clasped over your ears. “I’m gonna just go… Yeah.” While everyone was still stunned you booked it, pulling one hand off one of your ears just long enough to open a door and disappear below decks, found a quiet corner and curled up in it. You tried to steady your breathing, hands still covering your ears.
Slowly but surely your mind calmed down. You kept your hands where they were but you were feeling a little less like your head was being ripped in half and your brain finally managed to reboot. You groaned. It had been ages since the last time you slipped up this badly in front of people. At least that time you'd been able to write it off as a symptom of blood loss on account of the hole in your side.  This time? This time, you had no excuse. (Maybe you could go with the ‘pretend to be hungover’ plan and just deal with Izzy’s lecture later…)
Izzy wasn’t able to sneak up on you this time since you weren’t completely out of it. The moment the storeroom door opened you looked over. The moment you noticed him you dropped one of your hands into your lap, trying to play it off like you were leaning your head on the other one. “What do you want?” You tried to imbue your voice with some ‘I’m the captain and you have to listen to me’ energy you usually managed to have but not this time. Your voice came as an exhausted whisper.
Izzy looked very odd, lingering at the door like a nervous shadow. “I-” He started at a slightly louder than speaking noise and you jumped ( your body having apparently completely given up on the fight to stay unnoticed). “I’m sorry… I think.” He finished in a stage whisper.
You raised a brow, both from the strangeness of Izzy being so considerate and the strange phrasing. “You think you’re sorry?” You echoed.
“The boy, Spriggs, said I should apologize.” Izzy elaborated. “Though I’m not sure what for.” A pause. Izzy glanced around and gently closed the door behind him. “I didn’t mean to upset you.”
Your confusion only intensified. This was very odd for him. Sure the apology was stilted and awkward but it seemed genuine. Izzy Hands genuinely apologizing to you… You never thought you’d see the day… He visibly fumbled for more words so you decided to put him out of his misery. “You don’t need to apologize. You didn’t do anything wrong.” 
“Look, I’ll tell everyone that you apologized and everything’s all fine. You don't have to do this. I officially accept your not-really-apology for whatever you said.” You commented, chuckling weakly. “You’re free to ditch me.”
“You don’t know what I said?” Izzy looked genuinely baffled.
You shook your head, pulling both hands away from your ears and letting them fall into your lap. “Not a clue. I couldn’t hear you.”
Izzy tilted his head. The gesture looked so odd on him. “Is there something wrong with your ears? Should I get the doctor?”
“No, no. Nothing’s wrong… Well, if there is something wrong it’s been like that my whole life…” Izzy only looked more confused. You considered for a moment. Eh, fuck it. Might as well… “It’s just a thing that happens with me. Sometimes sounds are just…” You motioned vaguely with your hands. “Too loud. Just the yelling and all the noise makes it hard to think.”
“You can’t handle noise?” Izzy asked, still looking disbelieving. You nodded. “Then how the fuck did you captain a ship?” He was clearly still making an attempt to be quiet so his words came out as more of a hiss than a yell.
You shrugged. “I got good at pretending it didn’t bother me. When I was a captain, I could stay in my cabin and avoid most of the noise. Can’t exactly do that anymore, can I?”
“Pretending? So it always bothers you?” 
You nodded. “Yup. Sometimes it’s just too much. With yesterday’s raid and the party… I guess it was a bit much for me. Everything was just too loud. Pretty pathetic huh?” You laughed lightly at yourself. Of course Izzy was going to have a fit over you ditching work for something so stupid.
“Impressive actually.” Izzy stated bluntly 
You did a double take. “What?” If it was supposed to be sarcastic then it was delivered wrong. 
Izzy seemed surprised at your surprise. “What? You work through all that.” You weren’t convinced. Izzy sighed. “You work on a ship full of idiots who won’t do their damn jobs even if you served it to them on one of Bonnet’s stupid fancy plates, and you work through all that shit?”
You couldn’t help the smile. “Was that a compliment you just gave me?” You chuckled. “Who are you and what have you done with Izzy?”
The man rolled his eyes. “Oh fuck off.” His voice was still soft. “Does anyone know?”
You shook your head. “Nope. It’s too easy to exploit in a fight. Don't want to risk it.”
“Not even Ed?”
“No, I think he knows there’s something with me and sound. He’s observant enough but I never told him.” Sure you and Ed had been kind of friends before, for a long time too but before the Revenge, the idea of being allowed to be that vulnerable (even around someone you trusted with your life) felt wrong.  Izzy seemed weirdly stoic for a moment. You wondered how he felt, knowing a secret his captain didn’t. “You can tell him if you’d like. I’m not going to ask you to keep a secret from your captain.” You knew how Izzy’s loyalties lied between you and Ed, but you still didn’t want to put Izzy in an uncomfortable situation because of your screw up.
A moment passed in comfortable silence and you stretched and stood. “Well, back to it…” Izzy held up a hand to stop you from leaving. “What?”
“You’re taking the rest of the day off.” You could tell he meant it as an order even though his voice was still soft. 
“No, no. I can get back to work.” He stared. “Seriously I’m fine. I’ve worked through this sort of thing before.”
Izzy huffed and for a moment you thought he was going to back down but instead. “Take the day off. That’s an order from your first mate.”
You sighed. You weren’t winning this. “You got it, first mate Hands. Don’t hesitate to get me if anything comes up.” He nodded curtly but you doubted he’d get you for anything short of an emergency.  You walked out into the hall towards your cabin. “Also, thank you.” You called over your shoulder. “It was nice of you to come by to check on me, even if it was under duress.” 
“I will take your break back.” Izzy grumbled but you knew it was an empty threat. He’d had to convince you to take the break after all. 
You chuckled. “See you around!”
The day after what you were mentally calling ‘the incident ‘ you came on deck to find nothing unusual. It was quiet, as it usually was. Even back when you were a captain, you always came up on deck early. It was calm and you could get a lot of work done. You waved at Izzy when you came on deck. He returned the wave (after looking behind himself as if he assumed you were waving to someone else).
As the day continued the crew slowly trickled awake. Quite a few people asked if you were “feeling better”. Apparently, Izzy had told everyone you’d had a headache (Sans Ed of course, you caught the slightly concerned looks he gave so, you gave him a thumbs up in return). As soon as the crew was on deck you were already bracing yourself for more yelling. It didn’t take long for someone to piss Izzy off enough. You could see Izzy gearing up for a yelling match while Wee John and Frenchie seemed unimpressed and you were already mentally preparing for the sound. 
It didn’t come.
You heard Izzy instead hiss out a cold “Wait.” at barely above a whisper. Whether it was the unusualness of it all or the serious tone of his voice, they listened. Izzy quickly made his way across the deck to stand at your side. You raised a brow in silent confusion. “Cover your ears.” He mumbled, clearly making an attempt to be quiet. It was strange but you humored him, curious as to what was going on.
As soon as your hands were covering your ears Izzy went back to where he was standing and (after confirming one last time that you had your ears covered) went straight into yelling. 
Huh.
You assumed he'd drop it after a bit. He was just giving you time to recover. That didn’t happen. Instead it became a part of Izzy’s usual routine. When he was going to start yelling, he'd always let you know, at first he had to run up to you, then later all it took was a glance. The heads up did help quite a bit. 
Of course you couldn’t always cover your ears. Whenever you had your hands full and couldn’t do what the two of you usually did, Izzy would instead switch to whispering his threats, grabbing whoever he was talking to and pulling them close.
“They respond better to it as well.” Izzy confided to you one morning, both of you leaning against the railing, drinking coffee and relaxing after a successful raid.. 
You grinned. “I’ve used that strategy for ages. You’d be surprised how intimidating whispering can be.”
Izzy chuckled lightly. After that he stayed quiet for a long moment. You raised a brow. You could tell he was trying to figure out how to bring something up. You decided to stay quiet and let him organize his thoughts.
You were rewarded for your patience by a jumpscare as Izzy just awkwardly shoved something into your arms. You looked down to see you were holding a box? You looked back at him and raised a brow. “It’s a very nice box…” You commented somewhat cheekily.
Izzy was doing a really good job at not looking at you. His face even looked a little flushed. “Piss off. Just open the damn box before I toss it into the damn ocean.” He mumbled. His tone was nowhere near as harsh as usual. 
You smiled, gently opening the box. Inside were a bunch of small pieces of… You picked one up. It was malleable in your hand. Wax. It was some kind of wax. 
“They're earplugs. Apparently they’re for your ears.” Izzy stated bluntly, answering your unasked question.
“In what way?”
Izzy sighed, seemingly unsure of himself. “You put them in your ears. Got them on the raid. Had a very well stocked clinic.” You nodded, you remembered Roach being excited about it all. “Willing to bet half of that shit was some kind of experimental treatment. Not even Bonnet knew all of them so it’s not just fancy. Saw the surgeon’s log. Apparently they’re designed to protect a soldier's ears when they’re fighting.”
“And you grabbed these for me?” You asked, already smiling, you pulled two pieces out and pocketed the box.
Izzy flushed more. “I- Well…I  thought they’d be most useful to you. So…”
“Thank you.” You placed a hand on his shoulder, you felt the flinch even as he tried to play it off. You immediately moved to pull away but Izzy moved his arm slightly as if to follow so you left your hand there. You’d been working the wax in your hand so it was already soft enough to try. You gently placed one into your ear, switching the hand on Izzy’s shoulder to put in the other. 
It actually… Kind of worked.
“I think they work… Izzy, could you yell for a bit.” Izzy chuckled at the request but he did step back a bit and shout. You could hear him well enough that you knew he was calling your name but the sound wasn’t overpowering like it normally was.
“Holy shit.” You whispered. 
Izzy was quick to rush to your side. “Are you alright? Did it work? I-”
You cut him off by placing a hand on both his shoulders and pulling him into a hug. He fumbled for a moment then shivered but clung to you almost desperately.
“Thank you Izzy. Seriously. It means a lot to me.” You whispered.
As close as you were, you could hear Izzy’s soft, “Of course. I’m glad they help you.” 
You had a few minutes before the crew would come on deck. So you closed your eyes, enjoyed the quiet and stayed where you were until then.
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accio-victuuri · 9 months
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SBMS Clowning Series ☀️ v.1
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I’m placing these in one post. These ones linked + other minor ones from the past few days since the drama’s premiere.
yibo and shengyang similarity “when what you love becomes a career.” , covernat, them as the sun and pechoin ad spotted in sbms.
• XZ studio posted a video where shengyang was doing some hand tricks with Shengyang’s card. It was pretty sus to me cause it looked like something WYB will do. I can think of a few ways that he can show off SY’s ID card without doing this but he chose to do it that way. Is he influenced by WYB? Maybe he’s been watching Bobo do this a couple of time. Or WYB is teaching him to do it. We know how they like to try what the other’s hobby is. 🫶🏼
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• In one of the SBMS BTS, GG is show drawing lots of sketches which is in line with his character. But it brings is back to those LRLG entries where it said that ZZ likes to draw for WYB.
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• One of Shengyang’s work bag is something that is especially designed to also hold a motorcycle helmet. Hahahahahahaha! Why!!!!! I really have a feeling that Shenyang and WYB will get along cause they have similar styles. Do you think XZ was looking at stuff WYB was using and thought SY could use it? Of course not the expensive ones but more of the “look”.
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• THEM!!!!!! I don’t care! They will always have amazing chemistry 🤍🤍🤍
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• In one of the “letters” Shengyang left, there is a drawing that is obviously by XZ. CPFs have discovered that this is from an emoji and we think that it’s one of his favorite emoji pack to use, enough that he drew it.
It reminded us of the skull emoji (p2) WYB uses and that specific one, where it sort of “bows down” is what was captured that he used to reply on wechat. So they use different emoji packs, but the same action? Lol.
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I will make a separate post if something comes up that stands out to me, if not, it will be in a Volume 2 post. tbh, this is not the first SMBS CPN post cause we had ones from the wrap. GG really feeds us well. ^^
-END.
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crazychaoticizzy · 2 months
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TRACK 2: The Bends
Following their high school careers, the original five in the band Heart Attack begin rising through the ranks. Despite their slow ascent to success, they make it in the end. Even with everything that went wrong.
EREN X READER X JEAN
CONTENT: multipart fic, rock band au, slow burn (I mean it), love triangle, angst, mentions of drinking, violence, blood, mentions of guns, major character death
WORD COUNT: 11.6k
series masterlist
AOT masterlist
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EREN: I brought it up in my mom’s garage when we were all freshmen, I think. We were all playing a game together and Mikasa came in. I wanted to do it then because all of us were there, and it had been forever since we’d all been in the same spot so when would we get that chance again?
Armin, I remember, seemed super reluctant. I don’t know if money was a problem though, or if he genuinely didn’t want to do it. I never found out, either.
ARMIN: Yeah, I wanted to do it, it sounded fun. But as a hobby. I didn’t want to do it often. Eren wanted to turn it into a career, and . . . I just couldn’t do that.
JEAN: The problem with the idea was we were all dirt poor. Eren was the only one living with a family that wasn’t working their asses off to make ends meet or living paycheck to paycheck because his dad was a doctor.
ARMIN: We brought that up. I told him, “Not everyone can do what they want on a whim.” It was the end of that conversation, but on my sixteenth birthday a week later, Eren had rented me an acoustic guitar.
CONNIE: After that, we all knew that we were doing this, whether we wanted to or not.
Armin groaned, pinching the bridge of his nose and closing his eyes. He hated this. He hated coming to Eren’s house every single day when he could be working and trying to help his grandfather get out of debt.
Eren was explaining how to play the chords to him (since when did he know how to play?), but Armin wasn’t listening. He stared at Eren’s hands with an absent expression as they moved, switching dates he could work around in his head and running through the long list of assignments due in his mind.
He swore he was going to die of stress before he even turned eighteen.
“Dude, if I’m boring you just say that.”
Armin hummed, moving his gaze to Eren’s face and the teasing smile that played on his lips. “What?”
“You’re spacing out. Didn’t know I was that uninteresting.”
Armin took a moment to process Eren’s words before shaking his head. “Sorry. I didn’t get much sleep last night.”
“Oh.” Eren dropped his hands from the guitar’s neck. “Something wrong?”
Armin shook his head, running a hand over his face and through his hair. “Just tired.”
The day before had been one of the rare days where Armin didn’t need to be at Eren’s house. He’d worked the entire afternoon, switching jobs at about 6:30 before going home after midnight.
But after he returned home he remembered the pile of class work he needed to catch up on and ended up passing out at his desk without making a dent in it.
His days had started blurring together. He couldn’t remember anything taught in class and his reaction time to things was getting slower and slower the longer he went without sleep.
He hated everything.
“Do you need help with your work? I could do it for you.” Eren put the guitar to the side, leaning closer to Armin.
Armin took a second to respond before shaking his head. “No. I don’t want your failing ass to tarnish my perfect grade.”
“Well that perfect grade is gonna get bad at the rate you’re doing things anyway.” Eren paused. “Sorry.”
Armin waved him off. “It’s fine. It’s whatever.” He groaned and laid back on the concrete floor. It was cold, and Armin thought this must have been the best thing to ever happen to him.
He let his eyes close for a minute. Or two. He wanted to sleep, and at that moment nothing could have felt more comfortable than the hard floor beneath him.
Eren shoved Armin’s arm, making him hum in irritation and open his eyes. Armin turned his head, finding that Eren was now lying beside him.
“What?”
“I’m serious, Armin. Do you need help? Even if I’m not the one to do it, I’m sure one of the guys would be happy to.”
Armin shook his head, waving Eren off. “It’s fine. I’ve been thinking about dropping out anyway.”
“What?” Eren sat up, hands squeezing his knees as he looked down at Armin. “Why?”
“It’s just too much. My grandpa’s behind on payments and he got an eviction notice the other day. He tried hiding it, but you know him.”
Eren nodded. He knew that Thomas Arlert was holding onto the last strands of health he had for Armin’s sake. The old man tended to have things slip from his mind easily, so what likely happened was that Thomas hid the eviction notice and forgot where he’d placed it, making him ask Armin without thinking.
“We can help you guys out.”
Armin shakes his head. “We’re fine, Eren. I have it under control.”
What Eren wanted to tell Armin was that he shouldn’t need to have it under control. He wanted to tell Armin that he should be living, not struggling to scrape by. He wanted to tell Armin that he didn’t need to do everything by himself.
But Eren had said all those things before, in one way or another. Some of them he had said more than once. But every single time, Armin shot him down. It was clear to Eren that Armin didn’t want help.
That never stopped him from offering, though.
“Okay. But if you ever need help you know we’ll help you.”
Armin hummed in acknowledgement, closing his eyes again. Eren didn’t say anything else. Instead, he got up to put the guitar back in its box and left Armin on the floor. Eren walked into his house to retrieve a thin blanket, walking back out to gently place it over Armin’s sleeping form.
Eren walked back into his house, pulling his phone out of his pocket as he propped open the garage door and sat at the dining room table. He could see Armin’s golden hair from where he sat, and he held his phone up to his ear as it rings.
“Yeah?”
“Hey, Armin’s thinking about dropping out.”
Jean was silent on the other line. “What?”
Eren made a sound of affirmation. “He said he and his grandpa are about to get evicted.”
Eren heard Jean silently curse. He heard the rustling of blankets and another questioning voice that sounded suspiciously like Marco. “Is he seriously thinking about doing that? What about wanting to be valedictorian?”
Eren shrugged as if Jean could see him. “I don’t know, Jean. But he’s on the brink of failing anyway, so I don’t think he’d reach that goal even if he stayed in school.”
Jean huffed. Eren heard more rustling and the soft clanking of metal. “Alright. I’ll call Connie. See if we can scrape something together to help out.”
Eren nodded. He didn’t say anything else for a moment, just listening to the soft shuffling around coming from Jean’s end. Again, he heard a voice that sounded a lot like Marco’s, but he didn't comment on it. Something inside of him always said they were more than friends.
Jean’s voice finally came through again. “Okay, I’ll call Connie now.”
“Okay.”
The call fell silent. Eren expected Jean to hang up, but when he didn’t, he lowered his phone to press the red button before Jean spoke again.
“Armin’s gonna be okay, okay? We’re all gonna be okay.”
Eren nodded. “I hope so.”
Another moment of silence followed before it became so suffocating Eren had to hang up. He sighed, standing up from the table and walking up the stairs to retrieve his headphones from his room.
He got a text from Marco moments later. Marco had sent multiple photos of his schoolwork for Eren to copy down onto Armin’s papers. After digging through his bag, Eren found the assignments organized neatly in a folder and started copying everything down.
While he was at it, he tried to improve his own grades.
Armin dropped out two months later
He didn’t tell anyone. He simply stopped showing up to school. He stopped going over to Eren’s house, and he tried his absolute best to avoid everyone.
He didn’t want them to be disappointed, especially after they had done so much to help him.
The Arlert’s finances were better. They were no longer living paycheck to paycheck or were behind on any payments, but at what cost? Armin spent all of his free time working, picking up whatever hours he could at his three jobs and accepting the occasional offer of whatever people needed him to do in exchange for money. He had no more social life and no time for himself. When he wasn’t working, he was sleeping.
It seemed like he had completely abandoned his friends. But one day, a warm Tuesday in the summer when his schedules aligned perfectly and he didn’t have work, he walked to Eren’s house. He followed the sound of music playing and found that there were people gathered around the open garage.
Connie, as excited and energetic as ever, smacked his wooden sticks against the drums, keeping the time by tapping his foot against the floor. Marco’s hands moved across the keyboard, occasionally switching a couple knobs at the top to change the sound. Armin watched Jean’s fingers move across the fingerboard of his guitar with ease, and he watched Eren’s lips move centimeters from the microphone.
They sounded good. Maybe not hit material, like The Beatles or Queen, but they had the right sound. They kept the same consistent, obvious beat and overlaid their own tracks over it. They were in tune, and surprisingly were all working well together.
Armin stayed to the side. He stood behind most of those gathered around and just listened to the music flooding down the street, so loud you could probably hear it a few blocks over.
When they finally stopped, they were all sweating. Eren smiled out at the people watching and bowed dramatically as sweat dripped from his chin. Jean heaved heavy breaths beside him, turning to Marco to flash his teeth with a look that said, We can actually do this.
Armin couldn’t help the soft smile that stretched across his lips. He clapped with everyone else, watching as his friends began unplugging the amps and speakers and everyone else began to walk away one by one, a few dropping coins or bills into an open guitar case.
When Eren finally noticed Armin standing there, a wide grin crossed his face. He let go of the mic, which would have fallen to the ground if Jean hadn’t caught it by the stand, and sprinted across the driveway to Armin. Eren knocked into him with so much force it almost pushed them to the ground, but he didn’t care because it felt like Eren hadn’t seen Armin in forever.
They stayed like that for a moment. Eren practically squeezed the life out of Armin before Jean yelled, “Get a move on, loser. You’re not the only one that missed Armin.”
“Fuck off, Jean.” Eren gave one last squeeze before releasing the blond. Eren flashed him one last smile before he went back up the driveway. Armin followed suit, looking around at the set up they had.
There were actual drums now. It was no longer just boxes placed on sticks for Connie to practice hitting, there were drums. The guitars were different, too. Jean had a sleek black bass with a dark red strap instead of the acoustic guitar he shared with Armin, and Marco had a proper set up for his keyboard.
Armin’s lips tilted up. He liked seeing this. He liked seeing that even if he wasn’t there, everyone still continued with what they wanted.
He was glad to know his absence wouldn’t be an obstacle, because he was sure he would never be able to join them.
Armin turned his head when Connie held something out to him, his lips curved up in a smile that showed all of his teeth. When Armin looked down at his hand, he saw that Connie was holding out an instrument case.
Armin’s brows furrowed as Connie bent over to leave it at Armin’s feet. Armin kneeled beside Connie and unlatched the locks, opening the case to reveal a vintage Gibson SG. Armin’s jaw fell open, and he stared at the cherry stain of the wood.
“We found it at a thrift store,” Marco said. He walked over, kneeling down beside Connie. “It was a crazy markdown. Only like thirty bucks, I think. We looked online and found a lot for over a thousand dollars. Isn’t that crazy?”
Armin nodded. He closed his mouth and looked up at Marco. “Who’s it for?”
“It’s for you.”
Armin blinked, registering Marco’s words. “What? No, I-I’m not part of this. This is all you guys.”
“You want to be in the band with us though, right?” Connie asked. He sat with his legs crossed, leaning forward. “You can't be in the band if you don’t play an instrument or something, and everyone knows you can’t sing.”
Armin let out a soft chuckle. “I can’t, guys. You know how busy I am.”
“We aren’t doing this without you.” Eren plopped himself on the ground beside Armin, aggressively hitting Armin’s shoulder. “This is all of our thing. We do this together. Right, Jean?”
“Huh?” Jean looked up from his phone, still tapping at it as he looked at where everyone was gathered on the floor. “What?”
“Just say yes.”
“Last time I said yes I was pinned to the floor and Connie drew two dicks pointing at each other like guns on my forehead. With Sharpie.”
They laughed, and Armin felt out of place. He didn’t remember that happening, so it must have been recently.
“The point is”—Eren turned his attention back to Armin—“you’re part of this. We started this with you and we’ll be damned if you aren’t there with us when we keep going.”
Eren took Armin by the hand, intertwining their fingers and giving it a firm squeeze. And then Connie took Armin’s other hand, doing the same thing. And then Marco reached over and squeezed Armin’s knee. Jean, of course, was not paying attention until Eren threw a stray pen at his head and forced him to kneel beside them and squeeze Armin’s shoulder.
“It’s the five of us, guys.” Connie smiled, looking up to meet each of their gazes. “Now, until we’re too old to be jumping around on stage, promise?”
Eren squeezed Armin’s hand tighter, as if doing so would pass the unspoken message along to Connie. “Promise. We’re Heart Attack, right?”
That was new, too. Last Armin knew, the band didn’t have a designated name. It had barely been two months since he stopped showing up and already it felt like so much had changed.
Jean squeezed Armin’s shoulder tighter, reaching over with his other hand to squeeze Marco’s. “We’re gonna be the best fucking rock band in the world. The best of the century.”
If only it were that easy.
CONNIE: Man, I could not tell you what happened those last few years before we moved. I don’t think anyone can, actually. I just remember that it was stressful as hell.
JEAN: We didn’t really do much. We were still in school and starting tog eat our first jobs, so we were mostly trying to balance everything out without looking like zombies.
EREN: We moved to Berlin almost right out of high school. It probably wasn’t the best idea, but I don’t regret any of it.
“Do you guys really think we’ll make it?” Jean asked, laying back on the hotel bed with his arms crossed behind his head. “I mean, we’ve been living in this hotel for like a week and a half.”
“It’ll come,” Eren said. He scrolled through the different channels on the TV, eventually stopping on an American program. “We just need time. We need to find jobs that’ll keep us afloat for a bit. And then we’ll start our gigs up again.”
“Well if we don’t find somewhere soon our instruments are gonna get ruined in the van.”
They fell silent, the only sound being the water from the shower head in the bathroom.
Eren looked around for spots where they could put their instruments and equipment, but didn’t find a single empty space. The room was too crowded with all of their suitcases, and even if they didn’t have their own luggage there was no space big enough to put much.
“We’ll find a place,” Marco said. “We can start looking tomorrow. Surely there’s an apartment or something available for rent, right?”
Jean blew air out from his mouth. “I hope so.”
They were silent the rest of the night. They took their turns showering after Connie and started winding down. The TV still silently played, though the channel had been changed as each person took control of the remote.
It was half past midnight when Armin came into the room, his hair disheveled and his eyes tired from work. His black polo was untucked and one of his pockets turned out when he reached in it to grab something.
He brought out a piece of paper so folded it took him a moment to open it. When he did, he walked between the beds, careful not to step on Eren, and flicked on a light.
“Dude, it is past midnight. Turn that off,” Jean complained, pulling the blankets over his head.
“You weren’t sleeping anyway.” Armin whispered, careful not to wake Connie or Marco up. He kicked off his shoes and sat on the other bed with his legs crossed. “But look at this.”
He held the paper out. Jean stared at Armin with dead eyes before Eren reached up from his place on the floor and yanked it out of his hold. Eren held it up as he read it, holding it in the light so he could see.
“Live music performances?” Eren looked up at Armin as he nodded. “At Quasimodo? I thought they only did booked gigs with bigger artists.”
“They want to try something different. Apparently a few record companies approached them and asked them to do this,” Armin explained. He stood up from the bed and walked across the room to his suitcase, kneeling down to grab a change of clothes. “From what I overheard, these labels are looking for the next big thing. They want something new because people are getting tired of hearing the same music. It’s in a month or so, but they want to start getting people now.”
Eren nodded as Armin grabbed a bag and his glasses and stepped into the bathroom. The sound of water hitting the wall soon filled the room as Eren sat up and leaned against the bed.
“This is a terrible idea,” Jean said. Eren looked up from the paper. “I mean, yeah it’ll give us more recognition, but Quasimodo is a jazz bar or something like that. People don’t go there to hear what we do.”
“But if it’s an open night then people should be expecting all kinds of music anyway,” Eren countered. He set the paper to the side, laying back down. “People will give us a chance. We just have to take it.”
Jean exhaled, closing his eyes and turning over. “Whatever,” he mumbled.
It was completely silent moments later, save for the muffled sound of Armin’s shower.
Eren couldn’t take it. He put his AirPods back in his ears and laid back down, pressing play on his phone before closing his eyes and trying to drift off.
When Armin walked back into the room, his hair damp and falling in his eyes, everyone had fallen asleep. He tiptoed around Eren, cautious not to make any noise, and slipped under the covers beside Connie. He reached over to flick off the light, checking his phone once more before turning over and going to sleep.
Thomas hadn’t texted or called since Armin moved. Of course, Carla checked in on him daily and gave Armin updates, but it wasn’t the same. He wanted to hear from his grandfather himself that he was doing fine.
Armin fell asleep hours later, his mind haunted with thoughts of how his grandfather was doing.
You joined Heart Attack in Berlin early on. Did they ask you to?
MIKASA: No, actually. Well, some of them wanted me to come along if I wanted, but I remember Eren called me one night and said very clearly, “You shouldn’t throw your life away just to follow us. There are better things for you in Shiganshina.” He kind of put a lot of emphasis on the fact that he didn’t really want me to follow, even if he didn’t explicitly say it.
I thought about it a lot. I talked to my mom about it and she just told me to do what I wanted. She said she had the store under control and that I didn’t need to worry about keeping it afloat, because that was the reason I had been so hesitant. A couple weeks after they had moved, I followed.
When Mikasa knocked on the door, Armin was the one that answered.
He wore a white T-shirt and blue pajama pants that made Mikasa think he had just gotten out of bed. His blond hair was touseled and he wore his glasses. He rubbed the sleep out of his eyes as he greeted Mikasa, not quite registering who it was until she pushed her bangs out of her face.
“Mikasa? I thought you were staying in Shiganshina.” Armin leaned against the doorframe, resting his head against it and crossing his arms.
Mikasa shrugged. She shifted her weight and crossed her arms as well, fidgeting with one of her backpack straps. “Well, I never really decided, but I wanted to come here with you guys.”
Armin slowly nodded. He glanced over Mikasa, taking in her pulled back hair and the way she kept shifting her weight like she had done something she wasn’t supposed to.
He thought about Eren for a moment, and how he might react when he saw that Mikasa had traveled the two hours from Shiganshina to join them. He knew that Eren wanted her to stay in Shiganshina—he claimed it was because Mikasa would have a better life there, but Armin thought it was more for his own benefit.
He straightened himself, opening the door wider. “Sorry. I’ve just been standing here. Uhm, do you want to come in?”
Mikasa nodded, quietly thanking Armin as she grabbed her suitcase by the handle and stepped into the apartment.
She looked around as Armin closed the door behind her. It seemed like he was the only one home, based on how quiet it was.
There was no furniture. Well, there was, but the only pieces were a table and three chairs. Majority of the space was taken up by Connie’s drums and Marco’s keyboard. Jean and Armin’s instruments were packed away in their cases and set to the side.
Mikasa raised an eyebrow in question and looked at Armin, who was locking the door. “No furniture?”
Armin hummed, looking at her and then their living room. “Yeah, we, uh, we can’t really afford a lot. But we have a table? You can put your stuff there.”
Mikasa slowly nodded, letting out a soft laugh. She moved her suitcase beside the table leg and shrugged off her backpack.
“Are you hungry or something? We have cereal, probably.” As Armin spoke he moved around the table and started opening cabinets and the fridge, listing off a few items. “I can make you a sandwich, or leftover pizza. A salad, maybe? I don’t know what we have.”
Mikasa shook her head. “No, I’m alright. Where’s everyone else?”
Armin shut the fridge door and leaned against it. “Work. They all have morning or day shifts.”
Mikasa nodded again. The two of them exchanged awkward questions that only required a short answer for five minutes before they finally got back into their old groove. By the time Jean, the first to get off his shift, had come home, Armin and Mikasa were seated at the dinghy wooden table and laughing.
Jean was followed by Marco an hour later, and Connie thirty minutes after that. They moved to the floor where the five of them sat in a circle with cold leftover pizza from the fridge until Eren came home.
And when he did, the wave of annoyance that washed over him was clear.
It wasn’t obvious or boisterous, but the way his grip tightened on the doorknob when he saw Mikasa told her all she needed to know. He walked further into the apartment with heavy steps and closed the door behind him with more force than necessary.
The five of them quieted, watching as Eren stalked across the living room and disappeared down a hallway. No one dared speak a word even while Eren came back out, already changed into a new set of clothes, and began moving around the apartment like no one was there.
Eren eventually looked up at them after he’d made himself a bowl of greek yogurt and blueberries. He held eye contact with each one of them for at least five seconds before furrowing his eyebrows and shrugging. “What? Can I not eat?”
Jean cleared his throat, making Marco glare at him. The tension in the room steadily builds until Connie couldn’t take it cracked a stupid joke that got him teased by Jean and Armin. Mikasa softly laughed along, eyeing Eren as he settles between Armin and Connie.
When he looked up at her, she averted her gaze. Instead of looking at him, she looked at the door. The wall. Marco. Anywhere but Eren.
Her gaze caught on a piece of paper haphazardly taped to the wall. Mikasa squinted to read the blocky text on it.
“What’s going on at Quasimodo?” she asked, looking around the circle. She couldn’t read the finer text below the large letters that spelled out OPEN NIGHT.
Armin hummed in question, looking over at the piece of paper. “Oh, they’re having a night where small artists can go and play for free. It’s gonna last a couple days. We’re gonna be performing on the nineteenth.”
Mikasa hummed as Armin looked at the clock—the only other item decorating the apartment. He stood up and dusted off his pants before excusing himself and going down the same hall Eren had earlier. When he came back, he wore a black polo with the restaurant’s logo above his left breast. He grabbed his keys before saying goodbye to everyone and leaving.
Mikasa assumed Armin must have been the middle friend between her and everyone else because when he left she felt like the four others were staring at her, waiting for her to say something.
“So . . .” Mikasa drew the word out, thinking of what to say. “How has everything been going?”
Jean blew out a breath, leaning back against the wall. “Good enough. We have the space to practice but nowhere to play.”
“That’s just because we haven’t been looking in the right places,” Eren said. He turned his gaze to Jean, one of his eyebrows slightly raised. “We just need to get our name out there. Then people will pay attention to us.”
“People won’t pay attention to us if they don’t know who we are, dipshit.” Jean rolled his eyes. Eren shot him a glare that made it seem like he might kill him later.
Silence fell over the room again. In those few moments, Mikasa’s thoughts wandered to the Instagram page she’d started for her mom’s business and how online sales had shot up.
“Why don’t you get an Instagram?” she suggested. “Or like, Twitter or TikTok or whatever. Some kind of social media to promote yourselves.”
Mikasa felt like shrinking in on herself with the way their eyes turn to her. She felt like their gazes were scrutinizing her, almost judging her for speaking out.
She knew they would never. She only started feeling that way after no one spoke for what feels like hours.
“That’s a good idea,” Marco said. He switched his gaze to meet Eren’s. “Lots of people use it to promote themselves, why don’t we?”
He held Eren’s gaze for a moment. It seemed as though the two were having an argument in their thoughts until finally, Eren exhaled.
“Yeah. Sounds good.”
The topic changed after that. To what, Mikasa didn’t know. What she did know was that she had been indirectly designated to create and (probably) manage the new account, and then later asked directly by Connie since, as he put it, “You’re the only one with the divine, God-given level of intellect and marketing skills to do a fantastic job at managing us.”
She put little effort into it. She’d gone to the bathroom while the remaining four talked about going to bed and as she stood at the sink after washing her hands, made the account heartattack5 on both Instagram and TikTok. She made the profile picture a silly photo she had taken years ago of the five of them on Halloween. In it, they held their hands out and had their eyes closed as if doing an exorcism of sorts. On the floor in front of them was a drawing of a zodiac from a show Mikasa had long forgotten about.
Maybe it wasn’t the best profile picture, but it worked until she could get a better one.
heartattack5 also wasn’t the best username, but she came up with it in the spur of the moment. She knew no one else would have better ideas, so she just went with it. As she was leaving the bathroom she began finding everyone’s profiles and following them.
On her way out of the bathroom, she bumped into Eren.
By that point, the light in the living room was turned off and the only thing brightening the hallway were the slivers that came from beneath two of the bedroom doors and a weak night light that was plugged into the wall.
They stared at each other for a moment. Eren’s piercing green gaze sliced through her, reading her every thought and learning her darkest secrets.
“I told you not to follow us,” he said. He spoke quietly, not wanting to disturb the others that had already retreated to their rooms.
“You don’t tell me what to do.” Mikasa slipped her phone into the back pocket of her jeans. She shifted her weight to one of her legs and crossed her arms. “I came here of my own volition, not because of you.”
“And yet this was the first place you came. You didn’t even go to wherever you’re staying first to drop off your bags.”
“Well.” She ended it there. She had tried coming with a defense to whatever Eren might throw at her while she was driving, but her efforts had proven fruitless. Instead of retaliating, she shrugged.
Eren sighed, running a hand through his hair. It had grown out a bit, the ends now resting at his jaw. “Please go home. I don’t want to drag you down with us if we aren’t successful. You have something guaranteed at home.”
“It’s not home without you guys,” she said, though it sounded like she had added guys as an after thought. There was an awkward pause between the final two words, and hearing it made Eren pause.
He looked at her, pressing his lips together. He knew Mikasa tended to lean towards people’s whims and do what they wanted, but goddamn she could be stubborn as hell when she wanted something. She stood in front of him, her feet planted so firmly in place Eren didn’t think a tornado could move her.
He finally exhaled and breathed out, averting his gaze to the seam where the hallway ceiling met the wall. “Fine. Whatever.”
Mikasa bit the inner corner of her lip to keep from smiling. She gave a soft nod, tilting her head down so Eren didn’t see the look of triumph on her face.
She moved to walk around him and gather her things, ready to get out of their hair for the night and sleep in her car or find a hotel, but Eren gently placed a hand on her shoulder. She could feel its warmth through her sweater, and she turned her head.
“Just stay. You’re already here.”
“I don’t want to impose,” she whispered, though after she said it she realized how useless it was to say it. She had already come by completely unannounced and likely overstayed her visit by a few hours.
“It doesn’t matter. You can sleep with me in my room.”
Mikasa stared at him, and for a moment it seemed like she was the one reading Eren’s thoughts and learning his secrets. She gave a soft nod, turning to follow Eren as he opened his bedroom door and flicked on the light.
Unsurprisingly, it was bare. There was nothing up on the walls and two of Eren’s suitcases are open with clothes pouring out of them. There was a pile of boxes in one corner, and in the opposite was a mattress without a frame.
Mikasa held back a chuckle. Eren closed the door behind her, leaving it open a finger’s width, before going to lie down on the bed.
Mikasa awkwardly stood for a moment before joining him. In her mind she made a barrier that neither she nor Eren were to cross that night, and was adamant about keeping it. She laid on her stomach and turned her head away from him, her arms beneath the pillow. Eren laid on his back, staring at the ceiling and thinking, This is why those fuckers gave me the biggest room for myself.
In the following days, heartattack5 had gained almost two thousand followers.
Mikasa tried posting consistently. She stayed up at all hours of the day filming content with her phone and then editing the clips in the late hours of the night.
She’d changed the profile picture to one where Connie sat at his drums, Eren sitting in front of them while the other three leaned against Connie. She tried to get video of all of them playing their respective instruments and nicely framed photos to post.
She’d made a routine. She would wake up at the crack of dawn, around the time Armin returned home from his shift, and shower. She’d eat breakfast and spend a couple minutes each morning either pacing around the empty living room or laying on the floor and staring at the ceiling or scrolling on her phone. When the first person woke up—Marco, usually—she would chat with them for a bit before she began recording and taking pictures.
As the others woke up she would record them, too. She found that people enjoyed short slice of life videos alongside the more planned ones, so some days she would just record an exchange between all of them for hours.
Then, she had dinner in the room she shared with Eren. She sat crisscross on the floor and sifted through the video she’d taken while she ate. She had a pile of drafts saved up in both Instagram and TikTok, and she was always adding more.
Then, later in the night when she came out from the room to bid Armin a good shift and talked at the dinghy table with everyone else, she finally put her phone down. She’d leave it in the room on the charger and tried her best to push follows and views and likes and comments from her mind while she talked to her friends.
When they would start going to bed one by one, Eren was always the last to leave. He stayed awake with her until she was ready to go to bed, even if his eyes were dropping and he kept jerking awake. She’d finally laugh and say she’s going to bed even if she wasn’t tired, just so Eren could get the sleep he needed.
And at night, when Eren was snoring so loudly it practically shook the walls, Mikasa unlocked her phone and checked the account. When the numbers of new people were low, it left a harsh blow to her self esteem.
She would finally put her phone facedown on the wood floor and close her eyes, trying not to let the numbers or new ideas to get more people flood her mind.
The barricade she’d mentally made that first day she slept in the same bed as Eren was always there, but every night it was knocked down. Every morning she woke up with some part of Eren tied up in her, whether it be their arms pressed together or his hands on her waist or her head tucked into his chest.
In the morning when she found out where they had let their guard fall, she felt at peace.
“Come see us at Quasimodo tonight!”
In the video, Eren screamed at Mikasa’s phone before she panned over to Connie, who had his tongue out and his pointer and pinky finger on one hand up. It was short and ended there, but Mikasa had added a soft overlay of Heart Attack’s song “The Bends” to the background.
It was the best performing video she’d made, and it had only been posted at ten that morning.
Mikasa smiled with pride every time she checked her phone and the numbers skyrocketed. It started at 50, and then 100, and then seemingly out of nowhere shot up to 2,000 somewhere between eleven and noon. By the time the band was at Quasimodo getting ready for their gig, she was beaming at the white 37,000 in the bottom left corner, a number that went up every time she refreshed the page.
She didn’t know what it was about this one that did so well, but she wasn’t complaining.
Mikasa sat by herself at a table close to the stage. She could barely see whoever was playing beyond the bodies crowded together in front of her, but when she heard Eren’s voice she would move.
She kept her phone face up on the table, reading every single notification that came up on her phone.
Eren, peeking through the curtain during an intermission while the drums were being set up, watched Mikasa obsess over her phone. He noticed the way her eyes seemed to sparkle at the growing numbers, and some part of him thought to talk to her about it later.
But he moved his gaze around, and at a table at the back of the club spotted a blond man sitting with one other person. Eren didn’t recognize the brown-haired woman, but he knew who the blond was immediately.
“Guys.” Eren turned toward the others, the faintest grin on his face. “Erwin fucking Smith is here.”
Connie’s eyes practically popped out of his head with how much he had widened them. “Are you being serious right now?” he asked in disbelief.
“The Erwin Smith? Owner of Scout Records?”
Eren nodded. Jean lowly whistled and straightened himself. Armin ran a hand through his hair, letting out a breath that fell somewhere between a chuckle and a gasp of disbelief.
Marco, who had been drinking water, set the plastic bottle down. He put a hand on Jean’s and Eren’s shoulders, gently squeezing. When Eren turned his head, Marco had a vibrant smile on his face.
“This is our chance guys. We can finally break through and get on the radio or something.”
“That’s if he likes our music,” Armin pointed out. Everyone turned to him. “If he doesn’t then there’s no chance.”
“Which is why we make him like it.” Back to Eren. “We play the best we’ve ever played. We aren’t in Mom’s garage anymore. We put our hearts and souls into this.”
A moment of hesitance passed. Eren met everyone’s gaze, holding each of them for ten seconds. His piercing green eyes seemed to look into their minds, reading every desire they’ve ever had.
Finally, they all slowly nodded. An agreement passed between them and they exchanged a smile. When the stagehand called to them to say they were ready, Jean began lazily playing a quiet tune on his bass.
Eren was the first out. He grabbed the microphone and scanned the crowd. He noticed Mikasa walk closer to where the band stood to take pictures, and his smile widened when he met Erwin Smith’s gaze.
“This is Heart Attack.” Eren flashed his straight teeth again, winking at one of the girls closer to the front, before Connie started the upbeat tune to their debut song, Armin joining in soon after.
Eren tried his best not to let his gaze wander to the booth Erwin sat at. He tried to keep his stare on the wall or the people at their tables, but he always found his eyes moving back to Erwin.
Not knowing what to do every time they made eye contact, Eren winked at him. Erwin had no reaction except a subtle eyebrow raise, and Eren immediately regretted his decision.
After they had bowed and strolled off, Eren ran a hand over his face and groaned. The group of them found Mikasa on the ground floor and walked to the table she’d reserved. Eren pressed his forehead against the wood and began tapping his foot against the floor.
“Dude, what is wrong?” Connie asked. He had ordered a glass that had some caramel colored liquid Eren couldn’t identify and was playing with the straw between his fingers. “You are like, stressing. Which is understandable since Erwin Smith is here, but-”
“I winked at him.” Eren lifted his head. From the corner of his eye he would see Jean lifting his glass to his lips.
“Huh? Who?”
“Erwin Smith.”
Jean laughed, lowering his glass and covering his mouth with a fist. He cleared his throat to cover his laugh and looked away. Eren shot him a glare.
“Why did you wink at Erwin Smith?” Jean teased.
“I don’t know. It just . . . happened.”
“How do you just happen to wink at someone?” Armin asked. He smiled, teasing Eren, “Was there something in your eye?”
“No! It just . . . I don’t know! But I’m scared. What if he’s homophobic, man? What if that’s the only reason he won’t talk to us is because he thinks I’m gay?”
Marco tensed, but the subtle way he straightened his shoulders and tightened his grip on his cup went unnoticed by everyone except Jean.
Jean’s eyes moved to look at him. He didn’t turn his head, but when he saw the fake smile on Marco’s face as he made a comment Jean didn’t hear, he gently squeezed Marco’s knee.
A soft guitar melody filled the air, a stark contrast to the harsh music that had previously filled the club. Marco turned his head to the stage where a girl in a short cream dress, her hair tied out of her face with a red ribbon, sat on a stool and strummed her guitar. He watched for a moment before turning back to the table.
“I genuinely think I might die,” Eren said. He was leaned back in his chair now, his legs splayed so far out beneath the table that they hit Connie in the shins.
“Sit up right.” Connie playfully kicked Eren’s legs. “Your legs are too damn long for you to relax like that.”
The group laughed. When Armin turned his head to watch the girl on the stage, his gaze instead caught on Erwin Smith, who was standing up from his table.
His eyes followed the man, watching as he bowed to the woman sitting with him and shrugged on his coat. The woman smiled and waved at Erwin as he left the booth, and Armin’s eyes widened as he realized that Erwin Smith was walking towards them.
Armin turned his head to face the table so quickly he thought he pulled a muscle. He coughed to catch the table’s attention, and when they turned to him he quietly said, “Erwin Smith is walking this way.”
Eren’s eyes slightly widened. He craned his neck to see around Armin and immediately straightened when he saw that his friend was telling the truth. He slapped his hand against the table as of warning Jean and Connie to stop bickering.
He cracked a stupid joke right as Erwin began passed behind him. No one even understood what he had said, which earned him questioning glances from everyone at the table before Erwin positioned himself between Eren and a Mikasa’s chairs.
“I hope I’m not interrupting,” he said. He placed a hand on the back of Erin’s chair, making sure his presence was noticed.
As if anyone wouldn’t notice if Erwin fucking Smith was looking directly at them.
“Nah, you’re fine,” Eren said. He regretted it immediately because who talks to a celebrity like that? He cleared his throat, trying to put up a front that said he knew what he was doing here. “Can I help you?”
Erwin opened his coat, reaching into a pocket that must have been inside and pulled out a business card. He held it out to Eren. “I’m the owner of Scout Records. I really enjoyed what you boys did tonight. I’d like you to sign with the company, if it interests you.”
Eren, who had been looking up at Erwin as he spoke, moved his gaze to the business card. It had a sleek design, one single dark green line moving across the entire card underneath the words Scout Records. Beneath all of that was his name and basic information, including an email and phone number to contact.
“Of course, I’ll contact you again at a later date if you haven’t decided, but this is your choice.” Erwin moves his gaze from Eren’s and meets that of everyone else around the table. “All of you.” His stare paused on Mikasa. “We can even find a spot for your publicist.”
Mikasa’s heart skipped a beat as Eren nodded. Publicist. She didn’t consider herself that, but the title had a nice ring to it.
Erwin bowed his head, bidding the group goodbye before turning and walking out of the jazz club.
The group waited until the door had closed behind Erwin before they started cheering. This was it. This was their shot.
Maybe they really did have a chance in this industry.
When they returned to their apartment that night, they popped open a cheap bottle of wine and drank from plastic cups to celebrate. They spilled the liquid haphazardly on the floor and counters, but didn’t bother to clean it up. Even Mikasa had set her phone to the side and allowed her head to become buzzed.
She regretted it the next morning, of course, because she was a lightweight and the headache she woke up with felt as if it was splitting her skull apart. She knew she woke up much later than she normally did because Eren wasn’t beside her in the bed and she could hear voices coming through the wall from the living room.
She stood and stretched, pulling a hoodie on over her tank top before opening the bedroom door.
“No, if we call him right now we’ll seem desperate.”
“Aren’t you the one that has been praying we’d get noticed for years? And when we finally do you don’t want to jump on that opportunity?”
“I’m playing smart here, Jean. If we contact them too early then we’ll seem excitable and naïve.”
“Please, Eren. He offered us. We won’t look pathetic if we call and say we accept his offer.”
Eren exhaled. Mikasa saw him press his lips into a thin line. “We have to play the long game-“
“If we play the long game then we’re gonna get dropped-“
“What would you know about this shit anyway? It’s not like you have a fucking degree in-”
“And you know anything more than I do?”
Their voices continued raising and they continued talking over each other. The pain in Mikasa’s head became so evident she could feel it in her fingers. Her ears were ringing, and she had one finger pressed to the inner cartilage of her ear as she aggressively grabbed Eren by she shoulder.
“Shut up,” she said, letting him go. “It’s too early for the two of you to be arguing, and I’m pretty sure everyone else is still sleeping.”
Mikasa walked over to the fridge and opened it, taking out the carton of eggs. She grabbed a cup from the cabinet. She pulled two eggs from the carton and spilled both of them into the cup. After throwing the shells away, she grabbed hold of the cup before taking a deep breath and downing its contents in one go.
Her face scrunched and her eyes closed. She held the last but in her mouth, reluctant to swallow before gulping it down. When she opened her eyes, she saw that both Eren and Jean were looking at her with the most horrified expressions me she had ever seen.
Mikasa gulped one more time, trying to get the taste out of her mouth, before washing the glass and saying, “What?”
Eren blinked. Jean ran a hand through his hair.
“You just drank two raw eggs,” Eren said.
Mikasa shrugged, setting the glass down in the sink and turning around. “So?”
Eren blinked again, though this time it was more aggressive. He put his hands on the edge of the faux marble counter. “You just drank. Two raw eggs,” he repeated.
“What the hell is wrong with you.” Jean jokes, though it seemed as though some part of him was genuinely bewildered about what could possibly make Mikasa drink raw eggs.
“Yeah.” Mikasa leaned against the sink behind her and crossed her arms and ankles in front of her. “It’s a remedy for hangovers. My mom used to do it when she had one, and that one time I came back from a night of drinking she gave it to me. It worked, so.” She shrugged again.
Eren blinked a few more times before shaking his head and straightening. Jean, however, still looked baffled at Mikasa’s actions, but he eventually shook it off and continued eating the bowl of cereal in front of him.
Mikasa blinked a couple more times in confusion before shaking her head and continuing about her day. She took a seat at the dinghy table and stared at the grain in the wood. She wondered for a moment how her parents were doing, but when she reached for her phone to text them, she realized that she had no idea where her phone was.
It wasn’t in her room. If it was then it would have been the first thing she checked in the morning. She scanned the table and didn’t find it there either.
Panic began settling in as her gaze frantically traveled around the room. She didn’t want to tell anyone because a phone isn’t all that when you really think about it. Except for her it is. That’s her life. Her job. Her livelihood, if she loses her phone then she loses her memory card and she’ll never get it back.
Oh, fuck. Fuck, fuck fuck.
“Are you looking for this?” Jean came up beside her and held something in front of her, the familiar polaroid of Mikasa and Eren at their eleventh grade prom catching her eye.
She looked up at Jean as she gently took it from his hands and nodded. “Yeah. Thank you.”
Instinctively, she checked the time. 11:34. It was so much later in the day than she thought.
Jean returned her nod. “Yup.”
He put his hands in the pockets of his sweats, awkwardly standing beside her. Neither of them said anything. Mikasa wanted to break the silence, but she didn’t know how.
“How’s it going with Marco?” she decided to ask. Jean and Marco had never officially came out, but they were obvious enough that the band knew about it—or that something was there, at least. No one was sure if they were officially together or not. Not to mention the way they look at each other when the other isn’t paying attention.
Jean nodded. “Yeah. It’s going good.”
Silence enveloped the room again. It was Mikasa’s fault, really. She shouldn’t have asked such a dry question.
Jean began drumming his fingers against the edge of the counter, the consistent noise driving Mikasa crazy. Her still present headache was not helping.
“I think you guys should call Erwin.” She couldn’t take the silence anymore. Or the tapping. “He’s the one that offered. He wants you guys with his studio.”
Jean blew out a breath. “Yeah. Tell that shit to Eren. That asshole won’t let up.” He crossed his arms and looks up, staring out the window. “He thinks playing the long game will better our chances of going big. You know what’ll help us go big? Accepting the offers we fucking get.”
Fantastic. Mikasa had led Jean on a spiel. At least it was better than his insistent tapping.
“Not to mention it’d better your chance of making it, too. Prove to him that you don’t have to be at home to be successful or happy.”
Jean and Mikasa held each other’s gazes. She always treaded carefully around him, especially with the history of feelings they had. She didn’t quite know if he had gotten over her completely, but his situation with Marco must mean something.
“You should tell him,” Mikasa said. They both know who she was talking about.
“He knows,” Jean replied. “He just . . . I think he’s scared.”
Mikasa nodded. She understood. Maybe not entirely, but she got it. She knew how it felt to pine after your best friend for years, but she didn’t know how it felt to feel that way about a girl. Especially when your family is as religious as Marco’s.
“It’ll be okay,” she said. “Let him figure it out.”
“I know. I’m trying to. I am, but . . . You know me.”
She did. Jean Kirschtein was loud about the love he had and who it was for. He was the love interest in cheesy rom coms that did grand gestures for no reason just to declare his love. He was the one that would run into the airport minutes before your flight to win you back. He was the one that would travel halfway across the world just to give you flowers. He was the one that would somehow gather his graduating class to orchestrate a dance just to ask you to the prom.
He was the one that was being forced into silence to give his love time.
“It just sucks.”
Mikasa offered a soft smile, though it was clear that it did nothing to help. “I know.”
They sit in silence for a bit. It’s not as suffocating and choking as the one before, but there is still that air of tension about it. Jean leaves the main room after he drops his cereal bowl in the sink, the fake ceramic clinking against its metal walls. Mikasa watched him go, waiting until she heard his bedroom door close to pull out her phone.
She pops open the case. Eren had given her Erwin Smith’s business card before they had all started drinking. He said she would keep it safe, and she did.
She flipped it over, copying the number into her phone and holding it up to her ear. She listened as it dialed, biting her nail as she waited. It felt like she sat there forever, and she pulled the phone away to hang up when she was sure no one would answer.
“Erwin Smith’s office. How may I help you?”
Mikasa’s lips stretched into a wide smile as she quickly brought the phone back up to her ear. “Hi, I’m Mikasa Ackerman. I’m calling to talk to Erwin Smith about the offer he extended to the band Heart Attack last night. At Quasimodo.”
She heard shuffling on the other line, before a couple clicks. “Yes, of course. He told me to keep an eye out for your band. I’ll schedule a time for him to contact you. Expect a call at around 2:45, alright?”
Mikasa nodded. “Yes, ma’am.”
The woman on the other line gave Mikasa a few more details, such as what number to expect the call from. She made sure to say that Mikasa would not receive a text or email, that it would be a call only from a number Mikasa had to write down to remember.
Two hours later, Mikasa sat in the bathroom hiding from everyone, on the phone with Erwin Smith himself.
“You did not,” Eren said after they had received a package. He looked up at Mikasa, who was sitting at the table and eating a bowl of pomegranate seeds.
“What?” She looked up from her phone, hiding a smile. She had seen the box earlier in the day, and only brought it inside for someone else to open and be surprised by.
Eren carried the box over to the table and dropped it, ripping the tape with his keys and opening the cardboard flaps. He revealed emerald green tissue paper wrapped around something else, an envelope with the band name written in gold sitting on top.
In the top corner of the envelope, Scout Records was stamped in capital letters.
Mikasa gasped, feigning surprise as she set her phone down and stood up. She walked next to Eren, placing a gentle hand on his shoulder.
“Congratulations!” she said, though it wasn’t convincing. She wasn’t a very good actor, and this situation was no exception.
Eren looked at her, his gaze piercing. “You called them.”
Mikasa nodded. She held Eren’s stare, refusing to back down and apologize. She watched the gears in his head turn before he turned his head, facing the wooden table as he laughed.
He slapped his hand on the table, catching Mikasa by surprise when he also wrapped an arm around her shoulders and pulled her closer.
“Thank you so much, Mikasa.” Without thinking, Eren kissed the top of her head. “I think I genuinely love you.”
Mikasa’s cheeks burned. She managed a soft smile as she pulled away enough to look up at Eren’s face. He was beaming, his smile so wide it showed all his teeth and so bright Mikasa swore the room had lit up.
Mikasa’s own smile widened. “Well if we had gone with your timeline then they would have forgotten about the offer. I have a meeting with him in a little bit about terms and conditions and stuff like that.”
“You’re meeting with him?”
Mikasa nodded. “I’m your publicist, aren’t I?”
Eren laughed again—a soft, breathy laugh that made Mikasa’s heart beat so loud she couldn’t hear anything else.
Eren let her go after saying something she didn’t catch. He woke up Jean (who had been sleeping on the couch while watching women’s boxing. Mikasa was positive he just turned something on for background noise) before going down the hall to bother Connie, Armin and Marco.
Their exclamations of happiness soon filled the apartment, and while they were yelling and jumping around, Mikasa slipped into the bedroom she shared with Eren and changed into something more presentable.
She switched her T-shirt and shorts for a black dress that had puffy sleeves. She put striped black tights on beneath it and spent too long deciding whether or not to wear a jacket over everything.
She decided not to, instead throwing it on her side of the bed and looking herself over in the mirror. She flattened stray hairs and fixed a bit of makeup, finally grabbing her bag before walking back out into the main room.
“And would you look at that! Annie Leonhart wins her first ever match fresh out of the Warrior program.”
Mikasa walked to the front door as she looked at the TV. She began slipping on her shoes, tying the laces up as she watched the blonde girl on the screen lift her fists in triumph as she walked around the rink. There were red stripes down her cheeks, ones so bright that Mikasa thought she was bleeding before realizing it was makeup.
“Now, we know that the Marleyan Warriors produce fantastic athletes, but I think this is the most potential we’ve seen in one. Don’t you think, Keith?”
“Absolutely. Annie Leonhart lives up to her title of the Female Titan. She comes in with such a loud presence and makes sure you know she’s there.”
The blonde girl bowed, the camera following as she steps out of the rink and down the walkway. The commentators—Theo Magath and Keith Shadis, Mikasa reads off the screen—continued talking about her performance, replaying clips from her match against a much stockier woman. It was a wonder that Annie won, they were saying.
“What are you watching?” Mikasa asked. She stayed by the door, but spoke loud enough so Jean could hear her from his spot on the couch.
Jean shrugged, muting the TV and standing up. He stretched his arms above his head and groaned. “I just turned something on. It’s women’s boxing, though. I think.”
Mikasa nodded, reaching over to the rack beside the door to grab her keys and wallet. “Okay. I’ll be back. I have a meeting with Erwin, but I’ll bring food later, so don’t eat anything.”
Jean smiled, turning off the TV and looking over at her. “Thank you.”
The corners of Mikasa’s lips tilted up, and she gave another soft nod before opening the door and leaving.
Connie’s scream of excitement was so piercing it had a little girl across the street covering her ears, mustering the harshest glare she could towards him.
“Connie, shut the fuck up,” Jean said, swinging an arm around the drummer. “We’re gonna get kicked off the streets.”
“Jean.” Connie gripped Jean’s opposite shoulder, the popsicle in his hand millimeters from falling off its stick and onto the floor. “Not only did we get offered a spot at Scout Records, but Mikasa also called to confirm we still have it. And we do! So now tell me, why shouldn’t I be screaming at the top of my lungs about this?”
Jean rolled his eyes, but a wide smile spread across his face as the two of them found a table to sit at. Marco, Eren, and Armin were still in the store looking for something to eat, so Jean and Connie slid onto the benches across from each other as they waited for a few minutes.
Jean opened his mouth to say something when they settled in, but he saw the rest of the band practically bouncing out of the convenience store with bright smiles on their faces. They were whooping and hollering, careful not to drop their ice creams or popsicles as they jumped around.
Connie joined them, hopping up from his seat and grabbing Marco’s and Eren’s hands. He shook them, his poorly made spongebob popsicle forgotten on the table. It was mostly finished anyway, the only remnants of it being a small pool of flavored water, so Jean picked it up and threw it away.
Someone jumped on him from the side, making Jean lose his balance for a moment. He wrapped his hand around the bar of the trash can before looking over at Marco.
The smile on his face was so wide it showed his dimples. His eyes were shining and his grip around Jean was tight. He was radiant—absolutely perfect in Jean’s eyes.
“We made it,” Marco said breathlessly. There was still the disbelief he had when Eren had originally told them about their record deal in his eyes. “Oh my god, we fucking made it.”
That’s how Jean knew how ecstatic Marco was. He never cursed. Never in a million years did a word as light as crap even leave his lips.
Jean couldn’t help but try and mirror Marco’s smile, but the attempt was fruitless. Nothing could ever shine as bright as this boy he loved so dearly.
“Hell yeah we did.” Jean wrapped his arms around Marco, holding him impossibly closer. “We fucking did it!”
Jean kissed Marco on the cheek in an action that could be passed as chaste, however it was anything but to Jean. Marco hugged Jean impossibly tighter, smiling at him with the soft grin that made Jean fall in love in the first place.
The others pounded on them after that—first Eren with a tackle so aggressive Jean and Marco almost fell over, and then Connie and Armin with pushes that rivaled Eren’s.
They caught themselves before losing their balance, and their laughs rang through the air so loudly that the same little girl Jean had seen glared at them again, this time along with her mother.
They began walking as they separated, Eren and Connie both walking backwards so they could talk without creating an obnoxious line of people.
“Alright guys, let’s talk first studio album. What are we thinking?” Connie held his hands out, welcoming ideas. “Personally, I think we should do the opening track about how birds are government property and are spying on us.”
Eren scrunched his face as Armin chuckled. “What the fuck?” Eren said. “The birds are watching us?”
“Well yeah.” Connie shrugged his shoulders, as if his revelation about birds was as common as grass. “Why don’t you see them in the rain?”
“Because they hide from the rain like any other being with instinct,” Jean said, a faint smile playing on his lips.
Connie pointed at him. “False. It’s actually because the birds are robots, and if they get wet then they sizzle and fucking die.” He tutted. “The government can’t have that.”
Jean and Marco laughed. They stood close together, their hands brushing every now and then.
“We are not making an album about robot birds, Connie,” Eren said. “That is so stupid.”
“Well what do you propose we make it about? Because the only other thing that’s good to write about is love, and I remember you saying very explicitly, ‘Love is a bullshit idea that makes soft sound.’”
Eren gasped dramatically. “I said no such thing.”
“We literally said you should write a song about Mikasa and you went on a whole rant,” Armin said.
Eren rolled his eyes. “I do not want to write sappy love songs. That’s cheesy and none of us have anyone anyway.”
Jean didn’t comment, but he glanced over at Marco. Marco kept his gaze ahead, fondly smiling and switching his gaze to whoever decided to tease Eren about his thing with Mikasa.
That’s when he saw it. A sleek, bright red sports car speeding on the street. The windows were blacked out, but someone’s arm was hanging out of one. Jean squinted, trying to see what they were holding.
The person started to climb out, tightening their grip on the object in their hand. Jean couldn’t recognize any significant features about them except the pale yellow hoodie they wore and the red smeared across their cheeks.
They held the object up, fumbling a bit to keep it in their hand as the car sped around. They howled when they almost dropped it, and lifted it.
It was a gun. The light glinted off the metal of the barrel as they haphazardly pulled the trigger, hitting a spot in the grass.
Jean wrapped his hand around Marco’s elbow. Marco turned his head, about to inquire about what Jean needed just as the bassist was about to tell them they needed to go.
But he didn’t get the chance. His words got caught in his throat as another gunshot sounded and Marco stumbled against him.
Jean held him up, trying to steady him with Armin’s help as Connie and Eren looked around. Eren fumbled with his phone as he tried calling the police after he spotted the car. When Jean pulled his hand away to readjust his hold, bright red blood, warm and sticky, stared up at him.
BANG!
JEAN: We all watched him die. He just crumbled against us and . . .
ARMIN: Blood was coming out of his mouth. He was choking on it trying to talk and I- [sniff] There was nothing any of us could do. We just stood there trying to help but we couldn’t.
EREN: I think about it, sometimes. Especially when I’m alone at night. I think that if I had been faster with my phone then the police would have been there faster, and maybe we could have saved them.
JEAN: The only thing I saw when I looked up was blonde hair. Whoever shot Marco had already gotten back in the car while it was speeding away.
CONNIE: Marco was . . . He was everything to us. Heart Attack lost their heart that day. [wipes tears] It was fucking hard after that.
EREN: We spent a long time not doing anything. It would have been longer if Erwin hadn’t threatened us with losing our record deal. We came up with “Holiday.”
ARMIN: Marco wrote the keyboard track for that. Before he died. It was the last song of ours he had something to do with.
JEAN: [voice cracking] I need a minute.
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sorry this is so late life got unexpectedly busy 😭
anyways hope you guys have a fantastic rest of your day <3
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