dear man i once loved,

by the time you read this letter, you will be completely devoid of my heart. however in the moment im writing this (november 2nd, 2023) you still have a place in my heart, unfortunately. i wish i could say i dont love you anymore. im not at that point yet. you dont know this but even before we had gotten together that id loved you for a year and a half, unconditionally and more. i was willing to put so much of my heart into you, and before i knew it, i already had. you know its bad when im frustrated and upset at you yet i still love you so much that i wanted to start this letter with “im sorry.” isnt that ridiculous? you break my heart unintentionally and yet still, IM the one who wants to apologize. because it feels as though im not enough to be somebody you could love irrationally. i know i can be overwhelming because my love is gigantic. perhaps even unattractive. maybe this is why i wasn’t worth fighting for. i hate that i still love you. i know you probably dont love me more than friends, hell maybe its just “like”. its just a shame that i had invested so much of my emotion into something you most likely never had your entire heart in. i know you tried your best, you had done as much as you believed you could for me. knowing the person that you are, even all the little things you had done for me counted tenfold more in my heart than they shouldve. youre not an emotional guy, youre like a robot. which is why it surprised me so much with what you gave me. for others its the bare minimum but me and our friends know that youre not the type to do anything like that at all. so i truly believed in my heart that you loved me. im grateful that i was plenty of your firsts. first girlfriend, first girl youd held hands with, first girl whod ever laid in your arms, first girl whos heard those words come out of your mouth. it was, and still is so incredibly special to me. in my head and in my heart we were the perfect match. our values aligned, you made me laugh like crazy, your faith and character made me instantly fall in love. you reminded me of a man who id want to father my future kids. somebody who i knew anyone would be lucky to have. and i was lucky enough to have you even if it were just a season of my life. whoever your next girlfriend is will be one lucky girl. i just wish i could get over you faster. my heart still makes my eyes follow you in a room. even after all ive tried looking away its like my heart is looking at you but my eyes arent. it still waits to see you in between classes. it was and still is so willing to do just about everything for you. everything for us. it hurts. it hurts when your heart is completely and utterly in love with someone. and it all crumbles in a matter of weeks. im sure you just don’t understand how i feel. but love is completely irrational sometimes. it makes you do crazy, stupid things. and i was stupid enough to put so much of my heart out only for it to be set to the side. thats how much i loved you. and i want to say i dont feel that way anymore but i know if you came back that id give my heart back to you in… a heartbeat lol. still, thank you for everything. as much as it hurts to love you, im glad i did. and im grateful for all that youve done for me. the friendship, the temporary “love” we shared, and all the memories.

love,

me

hag

I know I am one. Are you the same anon who keeps harassing me because I hate Noah Schnapp? hehe.

Also, you will age like me. How will you prevent it? I hope you will not end your life if that scares you so bad.

My Final Words… To You

I loved you with everything in me. Everything I had, I gave it all to you and I let you take up all the room you needed, even though you were never mine, and I was never yours. You lived in my mind, you took over my thoughts, made my heart flutter so disgustingly. You did all that and yet you never even knew.

I never wanted it to come to this, really. In fact, I tried to force myself to believe that I was over you, that I didn’t love you anymore. Over the years, I was never angry with you, and so I didn’t want to end this time angry with you either, but it didn’t work. Nothing would work, actually, so this letter is my last resort

Before I wrote this, I asked myself what it was about you that drew me in so closely towards you? What kept me so tightly wrapped around your finger that it could cut off the circulation? Why did I keep hanging on after so many years? But I couldn’t find an answer. I didn’t know why, but no matter what I did, and how hard I tried, I couldn’t get you out of my head. I was stuck. The image of you wouldn’t budge. It was like I was trapped in a room with iron walls and the door had no handle. I couldn’t escape. The warning signs wouldn’t veer me off on a different path because it was like they were covered with the sweet thought of you.

But then, one random night, I realised how tired I was. I noticed how trapped I felt and I didn’t like it, so here I am, writing this to you, to try and finally get over you. This is what I feel like I need to do in order to be normal again… to feel free because I’m tired of this stupid, aching feeling I get when I think about you. I got tired of knowing the one I wanted didn’t want me back. I got tired of thinking about someone I knew who never thought about me. I didn’t like how you constantly haunted my dreams when I didn’t even know if you dreamed at all. What if you just slept at night? Do you know how boring that is? I was tired of being held back by someone who didn’t even know their hold on me, and I wanted it to stop. I wanted you to let me go so I can move on with my life. I didn’t want to be hyper-aware of every move I make when we're in the same room. I want to be free of these feelings because these feelings suck.

They suck and they’re making me mad.

I feel like I’m starting to regret them all because of how annoying this has been. I want to take every emotion I’ve felt so far because of you, and give them back, so you can experience everything I have because of you. I want you to try and be me, just for once, so you know what it feels like… just for a day. I want you to see me and crave the attention that you know you’ll never get from me. I want you to feel the pain I felt, and how your heart strained when you see me. I want you to long for my attention, to yearn for it, only to find out that I can’t stand you. That every time I see you I cringe with disgust. I want you to know what all of this feels like, because the fact of the matter is, you’re just a boy who thinks too highly of himself when that simply is not the case. You’re a womaniser and a douchebag at best. You’re a delusional love-bomber that needs to be put in his place.

My final words to you are as follows: Screw you.

(Hey! I think it worked!)

Cause for love?

The other day, it was just me and my friend sitting in literature class. There was this topic of Science and Superstitions.

"Every occurence its reason. A cause."

I turned to her. She turned to me. Two pairs of heartbroken eyes fell upon each other. "A cause for love?" She whispered to me. Slowly, softly, sadly...

"Fate. Hearts. Minds. Souls."

"The reason's still obscure."

"Hm."

Yeah. It is obscure. But the thing about love;

You either earn something, or learn something.

bff why do you tag my asks as love letters i’ve never once said something nice to you

wdym you literally call me the coolest most iconic queen ever every single day 😭

Jason Todd who decides to play with your hair while he fucks you. He keeps a remote controlled vibrator to your clit and keeps it on low while he drags his blunt nails over your scalp. He coos at you when you shudder because of his gentle trails over the nape of your neck. He ups the setting every time you whine just so he can hear more of it. He just wants to see how much he can get you to react. He loves the way your body can’t help but squirm for him, not to mention the noises he can get you to make. He's obsessed with the way your brain turns to putty when his fingers play with your scalp. He loves learning how hard he can scratch which parts of your head and what it will do what to you. He wants to try it all.

how cruel of them to do this

"Für mich gibt es auf dieser Welt nur eine Mrs. de Winter."

Dear JK Rowling

Dear JK Rowling, 

You do not know me, will never know me and will most likely never see this. But I am writing this because I have something to say to you. 

I’ve loved the Harry Potter books since I discovered them as a tiny ten year old. I absolutely loved this magical world you created. Hogwarts was my introduction to fantasy, and it was my first source of escapism. 

Hogwarts became my home. Hogwarts still holds a part of me I'll never get back, because your books, Miss Rowling, were there for me while I discovered myself and my identity. After all, what with the main theme of your plot being acceptance, it’s reasonable to think of it as a safe space. 

I had a lot of respect for you, Miss Rowling. You were a woman who came from poverty who wrote some of my favorite books. I can see now that I was slightly blinded by my awe to see many flaws in your books. I still love Harry Potter, despite your best efforts to make us want to forget it, but I can now say I realize there are flaws to it, such as it being a story for millennials with a boomer ending, but I digress. I respected you, I admired you and, I reluctantly admit, you were my hero.

Not anymore.

I first lost respect for you when you started saying Dumbledore was gay, but that after Grindlewald, he became asexual. But not for the reason you think. I lost respect for you, because it seems queer identities can only be found in characters when it’s convenient for you, years after the books were written. I lost respect for you, because the only time my identity gets a shred of representation it’s to explain why you couldn’t give your ‘canonically’ gay character any representation.

And I understand that, at the time of publishing, you could not have had an open gay teacher. I know this. But you had no such excuse for the Fantastic Beasts movies.

When you started spewing your terf bullshit, any respect I had for you dropped to zero. After all, you had said previously that Hogwarts was a home to all LGBT+ people. Hell, Harry literally lived in a closet in a place where he was not allowed to be himself. Pardon me, but my assumption was that you were an open minded ally. I can see now that it was a mistake. You're just another bigot trying to excuse your hatred behind a front.

Congratulations. You’ve made hundreds, thousands of people hate you. Your books have been renounced by many of them. Others have decided to keep them. I am among them. I am not going to give up a series, a whole world because you can’t get your bigoted head out of your ass.

Congratulations. You’ve made hundreds, thousands of people hate you.

I hope you’re happy,

Signed, 

An angry queer trans non-binary writer, 

Yours truly,

Pen

The thing is, Jean Valjean’s “nineteen year prison sentence for stealing a loaf of bread” from Les Mis isn’t actually unusual….not even today! I see people talking about it as if it’s strange or unimaginable when it happens every day.

In modern America — often as a result of pointlessly cruel (and racist) habitual offender and mandatory minimum laws— people are routinely sentenced to life in prison for minor crimes like shoplifting or possession of drugs.

The ACLU did a report in 2013 detailing the lives of various people who were sentenced to life in prison without parole for nonviolent property crimes like:

•attempting to cash a stolen check

•a junk-dealer’s possession of stolen junk

metal (10 valves and one elbow pipe)

•possession of stolen wrenches

•siphoning gasoline from a truck

•stealing tools from a tool shed and a welding machine from a yard

•shoplifting three belts from a department store

•shoplifting several digital cameras

•shoplifting two jerseys from an athletic store

• taking a television, circular saw, and a power converter from a vacant house

• breaking into a closed liquor store in the middle of the night

And of course, so so so many people sentenced to life without parole for the possession of a few grams of drugs.

And we could go on and on!

Gregory Taylor was a homeless man in Los Angeles who, in 1997, was sentenced to “25 years to life” for attempting to steal food from a food kitchen. He was released after 13 years. The lawyers helping to release him even cited Les Miserables in their appeal, comparing Taylor’s sentence to Jean Valjean’s.

And there’s another specific bit of social commentary Hugo was making about Valjean’s trial that’s still depressingly relevant. He writes that Valjean was sentenced for the theft of loaf of bread, but also that the court managed to make that sentence stick by bringing up some of his past misdemeanors. For example, Valjean owned a gun and was known to occasionally poach wildlife (presumably for his starving family to eat.) . So the court exaggerates how harmful the bread theft was—he had to smash a windowpane to get the bread, which is basically Violence— then insist the fact that he owns a gun and occasionally poaches is proof that he is habitually and innately violent. Then when Valjean obviously becomes distressed traumatized and furious as a result of his nakedly unjust sentence and begins making desperate (and very unsuccessful/impulsive/ poorly thought through) attempts to escape…. the government indifferently tacks more years onto his sentence, labels him a “dangerous” felon, and insists that its initial read of him as an innately violent person was correct.

And it’s sad how a lot of the real life stories linked earlier are similar to the commentary Hugo wrote in 1863? Someone will commit a nonviolent property crime, and then the court insists that a bunch of other miscellaneous things they’ve done in the past (whether it’s other minor thefts or being addicted to drugs or w/e) are Proof they’re inherently violent and incapable of being around other people.

A small very petty fandom side note: This is also why I dislike all those common jokes you see everywhere along the lines of “lol it’s so unrealistic for the police to want to arrest Valjean over a loaf of bread, there must have been some other reason the police were pursuing him. Because the state would never punish someone that harshly and irrationally for no reason. so maybe javert was just gay haha”. (Ex: this tiktok— please don’t harass the creator or poster though, I don’t think they were intending to mean anything like that and its just a silly common type of joke you see made about Les mis all the time so it’s not unique in any way.) because like.

As much as I don’t think Les Mis is a flawless book or that its political messaging is perfect….the only way that insanely long unjust sentences for minor crimes is “unrealistic” is if you’re operating on the assumption that prisons are here to Keep You Safe by always only punishing bad criminals who do serious crimes. And that’s just, not true at all. Like I get that these are just goofy silly shallow jokes, and I’m not angry or going to harass anyone who makes them. but it feels like there’s an assumption underlying all those goofy jokes that “this is just not how prison works!” “Prisons don’t routinely sentence people to absurd laughably unjust pointless sentences!” “Prisons give people fair sentences for logical reasons!” When like…no

Valjean being relentlessly hounded and tortured for a minor crime in a way that is utterly ridiculous and arbitrary in its cruelty is not actually a plot hole in Les mis. It’s a plot hole in …..society ajsjkdkdkf. And the only way to fix that is to fight for prison abolition or at least reform, and (in America) stand up against the vicious naked cruelty of habitual offender and mandatory minimum laws.

But yeah :(. I hate how Les Mis opens with a prologue saying the novel will be obsolete the moment the social issues it describes have been resolved— but two hundred years later, the book is still more relevant than ever because we’re dealing with so many of the exact same injustices.

consider ….sidney in nate’s hoodie

this was all i could think about when i saw it.. boyfriend.... hoodie.......

my last letter to you

dear dingsuji,

Sorry for letting our friendship dry out. i hate leaving things with loose ends, especially if i dont have to. so i wrote you this letter just to cover things i wanted to let you know. dont feel obligated to tell me anything. if i ever give this to you, know im not sad or upset anymore. i wanted to let you know im glad we dated. im glad we’re friends. it was all valuable experience.

We’ve been friends for a few years and i valued that so much that i didnt want to ruin anything by liking you. after we spent our summer together, i was surprised to see you were “willing” to date me. especially after my forced confession, when i told you i didnt want to pursue you because i just liked being friends with you. i knew how you were emotionally, and i was okay with what you were comfortable with. so i didnt want to risk anything. but the heart wants what the heart wants so i let the relationship happen, even when in my heart i knew it was a bad idea since i knew how you were emotionally. when we were together I knew we were only something to “test the waters.” but i had been pining over you for like a year, so my hopes were pretty high. then again I knew you didnt like me as much as i liked you. so when you broke up with me, i regretted dating you a lot. then i couldnt stand how silly our breakup was and how hurt i was by it. i thought “i wish i never dated you, because then at least we could still be good friends again.” i was willing to put my feelings aside to still hang with you. so it just goes to show how much that it meant to me. i had the mindset that i was willing to compromise any issue with you asap if you just told me what the issues were. It still makes me laugh that I used to spend nights praying to God that this wouldn’t turn into a lesson for me to learn. I remember i told myself i needed to mature and grow up fast that i told myself “- is great but i need to be somebody good for him.” and i took great effort to become somebody you could be proud to say you were dating. I remember that i used to think, i cant let this interfere with my relationship with God. So even then i took extra care to make sure i spent more time with God which was so good for me honestly. but what baffles me is after every breakup or relationship ive ever had, ive NEVER let it get awkward. with my exes i still remained friends with them. but when you suggested we go back to being friends, this time it hurt. because regrettably, i really did like you. and sometimes i wish i never did because the heart is deceiving lol. so i just couldnt be “just friends” with you when i had realized i lost my first relationship that i truly wanted to last. I would convince myself not to like you like i did and i told myself “its nothing serious.” i remember trying to convince myself “If we break up, thats okay because it just means God has a better plan for the both of us.” but i guess it was the way you treated me, the way you made me laugh, and the way you looked at me, i couldnt help but think we’d last. i would tell God “i cant like you too much or itll be a problem.” and it was. my feelings have been a problem from the start, dont feel bad because this really wasn't your fault. yk the only thing i guess that kind of sucks still is that sometimes my eyes still follow you whenever we’re in class together. I know you've never "fallen in love" or understood the experiences of truly liking someone so much you want to see them all the time, but this is just how it is. I hate to use this strong of a word, but love makes you do crazy things. its emotional and its very irrational thinking. It kind of puts into perspective seeing how God's love is irrational too, at least for me. Our short-lived relationship wasnt a big deal though, at least it shouldn't have been on my end.

i know we’re back to being friends but its different. It just means God has different plans for us,a perfect plan thats way better than whatever the both of us mightve had in mind. so im glad it happened im glad for the memories. i still like you, as a friend of of course. i really enjoy your presence still and id still like to be close friends with you. I’m always there to pray for you and whatever you might want to pray over, know that me and the others are always there! i just want to let you know you made me really happy as a friend and a girlfriend. so, thanks for making me laugh so hard my guts ached, thanks for liking me even if it was just as a friend, thank you for making me feel, even if it were momentarily, like my life was too good to be true, like the happiest woman on earth. Thank you for being my friend. I’m keeping you in my prayers.

with unconditional platonic love,

me

I actually adore the thought of Cardan and Jude’s everyday life. Like that “I pretend like I hate you, but you know I love you” type of banter, is EVERYTHING. Like he’s so obsessed with her, and everything she does. Jude could kill someone (she has, multiple) and he’d still adore her. I do like how his first instinct isn’t murder though, when compared to hers. They balance each other so well. I find myself thinking about them often, and that’s when you know it’s a good book. When I went into that first book, I did not expect it to become so beloved among my collection.

this is kit, please commission some art from them on social bunny 🙏

I can forgive my father for all his wrongs against me, if only he had treated my mother differently. It is an echo, of what my mother says, "He may not be a good husband, but he is a good father." How do I tell her that one cannot exist without the other? He will never be a good father. He is not good to my mother.

—Reva

Happy New Year!! I wish you the best of luck and prosperity in the New Year!

Have you thought about teasing Jason? Maybe making him read one of his favorite books out loud as you tease him til he can’t remember the words?

happy new year!!

Anon, you genius. I am a Jason loves teasing you truther, but I hadn't even considered the possibilities of you teasing Jason. And now that I am, he would not be able to take it for long. He would get so whiny and xhibedcd i have so many ideas for this, it's hard to pick one.

I'll proofread this later. <3.

It's not that Jason doesn't pay you enough attention, you take up 75% of his thoughts, but when Jason starts reading, it takes up all of his focus. It's damn near impossible to get his attention. Good thing you love a challenge.

When you walk into the living room, he's seated comfortably on the couch. A well worn book rests in his hands. He is so engrossed in it that he doesn't seem to notice your presence. You'll have to fix that.

"What are you reading?" He doesn't quite jump, but his eyes shoot up. There's something to be said about how he's so comfortable around you that his guards is completely let down. That does something to your insides.

"Just some poetry." It's such a vague answer that it piques your interest.

"What kind?" You step closer to him. His eyes track you.

"Some love letters. It's Letters to Milena by Franz Kafka." He'd spoken of the book before you think.

"Thinking about me while you read?" You climb onto the couch and straddle him. One of his hands moves to your waist on instinct.

His face dusts with a light blush. He doesn't respond, seemingly at a loss for words. You wrap your arms around his neck. He stutters for a moment, but never quite makes a full word. You smile. He's getting so riled up and you've barely done anything.

"Read it to me." His brows furrow and he fumbles with the pages. You dip your face into the crook of his neck and softly bite down. His breathing grows deeper and faster.

He stutters at first, struggling to find his place in the book. Eventually he finds it. "Yesterday, I advised you not to write me every day," You feel him grow hard beneath you, "I still hold the same opinion today and-"

You grind down onto him. His head tilts back, moving your face away from his neck, as he makes a sound between a whine and a moan. You lift your hips away from his and he opens his mouth to say something, but you speak first. "Keep going."

He nods obediently. His movements are shaky, pent up and nervous. "it would be very good for both of us," You drop your hips back onto his and he gasps, but doesn't stop, "and so I repeat my advice today even more-..." His voice trails off as your hand drops from his shoulder to down into your pants. He watches you with something akin to reverence as you slip the pants and underwear off together (with some difficulty). You drop them to the floor. Jason shudders beneath you. "Wait." His voice is whiny as he pants beneath you. "Please," one of his hands moves to the hem of your shirt and tugs, "take this off. Need to see you, please."

You start tugging it over your head. "Only if you keep reading." He nods vigorously and you unclasp your bra.

"Emphatically- only please," his voice hitches when display your tits in his face, you bring one hand to your chest and roll a nipple between your fingers, making a show of throwing your head back and pushing your chest towards his face with a breathy moan. "Milena," you grind against him and he stutters for a moment. You move the other hand back between your legs and begin to work yourself open, starting with two fingers, in and out. He continues and his hooded eyes watch your every move. He doesn't need to look at the book to know the words. "Don't listen to me, and write me every day anyway," you add another finger to your rhythmic motions that brush against his length, "it can even be very brief," you add in your pinky finger and Jason makes a pathetic little whiny sound that is music to your ears.

You undo the drawstring of his sweatpants and push them further down his thighs. Putting his book down, he shimmies his hips to help you get the pants down, as impatient as ever. As soon as he cock springs free, you urge him, "Keep going."

He watches, trying his best to keep talking, as you lift your hips and bring his tip to your folds. Your other hand staying occupied on your chest. His hands anchor themselves on your waist, "briefer than today's letters," he moans out as you begin to slightly push yourself down. He soldiers on, "just 2 lines," you slide down even more. You do your best to keep your own moans under control, you want to be able to watch him. You've worked yourself enough so he slides in easily, the stretch not painful. He feels good.

He can't form words while you take your time bottoming out on his cock. Once, you've sat your full weight on him, he can't tear his eyes away from where your bodies join. One of his hands slides down until his thumb reaches your clit. He's distracted, entranced, by you. You struggle to keep your composure. "Keep reading."

His eyes stay focused on his thumb as it circles your clit. "Just one," you move your hips up and snap them down. Pleasure blooms in your chest and you hear Jason curse and breathe faster. "Just one word," you find a rhythm moving up and down on his dick. His voice constantly wavers and he moans between words. "But if I had to go ah without them," the length between each word gets longer and longer as you move faster and faster and he gets closer and closer. He struggles to get even one word out.

"Finish it and I'll let you finish." You're getting close now too, his demeanor clearly having an effect on you. His thumb speeds up.

He nods, unable to hold himself back for much longer. "I would suffer terribly." He says the words fast, all in one breath as he begins to thrust up into you. You clench around him as he lets out a loud moan. You cum together as he spills out of you. His head tosses back and his thumb stills and he twitches through the last waves of his orgasm. You drop your head onto his shoulder and slouch against his chest. His arms curl around you and he kisses whatever skin he can reach. You legs burn and your knees ache, but you have nothing to be worried about. Jason will take care of you.

Also disclaimer! I have not read the book yet! I plan on getting it soon bc I've been wanting to read it for years, but have yet to read the full thing full so that's why it's undetailed.