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mavrintarou · 1 year

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[4:38 PM] Oikawa Toru [1]

I know someone asked for my old Oikawa work - I need to find them first lol and for sure edit them. But here's my first Oikawa story on my new account, enjoy!

Warning: None (yet); slight angst about Oikawa's situation and what he did in the past to Y/n;

Second part

Oikawa Toru was exhausted. He has been exhausted for the past six months.

The baby nestled against his chest made it all worthwhile.

His son, Oikawa Toran Mateo.

The relocation from Argentina to Japan posed challenges for both father and son; now, it was simply a matter of settling in.

Mateo was having difficulty at night, and Toru couldn’t understand what was wrong. Then, when bedtime arrived, Mateo would cry incessantly, eventually wearing himself out until he fell asleep, utterly exhausted.

Until a miracle happened on day three of their new life in Japan.

Toru didn’t make a single sound as he continued to rock Mateo against his chest, the baby was silent, but his eyes were slowly drooping close.

This was all due to their only neighbor next door, who either blasted deafening piano music to muffle his son’s cries or happened to have a piano positioned against the shared wall, providing them with a live concert.

Initially, he suspected it might be a recording. Still, whenever the piano ceased playing, Mateo would stir and start whimpering, prompting the piano to resume and soothing the baby to sleep.

That’s when Toru realized his neighbor was attentively listening.

He felt guilty that his son’s relentless crying would unknowingly disturb the neighbor next door. However, it never occurred to him that the sound could travel through walls.

Meanwhile, Toru found peace in listening; it was when he discerned the neighbor was playing their rendition of “Twinkle Twinkle Little Star.”

Several minutes later, Mateo peacefully drifted into a deep slumber against his father’s chest, and Toru let out a profound sigh, gently swaying back and forth. In that moment, he made a firm resolution to express his gratitude to the neighbor whenever the opportunity came.

The tune continued and put Mateo to sleep and lulled Toru to sleep.

Just going to close my eyes briefly, he thought as he gently laid down on the bed and shifted his son in his arm.

Three weeks later, Toru hasn’t gotten the opportunity to head next door to meet his neighbor.

Ever since that night, his neighbor would spend hours playing the piano every evening when Toru attempted to take Mateo to bed. But, remarkably, Mateo adored it. The melodic tunes would instantly soothe him, gradually lulling him into a peaceful slumber.

Whatever it was, it proved to be the sole remedy for his son.

However, one particular night, the absence of the piano’s melody left Mateo restless and irritable. In a desperate attempt to recreate the soothing effect, Toru resorted to playing classic piano pieces he hastily found on YouTube, but they failed to satisfy Mateo’s needs.

Growing frustrated and feeling helpless, Toru was on the brink of allowing his son to cry himself to sleep when a gentle miracle, the soft piano notes began resonating through the walls. Instantly, Mateo’s cries subsided, and Toru lay awake, basking in the comforting melody.

Toru is convinced his neighbor is a gift from God.

His mother would stop by every day to help with his son while Toru organized transferring his items from Argentina to Japan.

“Can you stay with Teo while I pick up dinner, mom?”

She hummed, shooing him away.

Toru is grateful to his mother for her unwavering love for his son, despite her initial disappointment upon learning about this accidental pregnancy with his ex-girlfriend from Argentina.

Although his relationship with his ex-girlfriend was long gone and relegated to the past, every day served as a reminder that it was just him and his son, which was more than enough.

The elevator chimes rang out, and within moments, the door slid open, unveiling a petite woman who leaned against the wall, her eyes closed. Immersed in her own world, she appeared lost in the music flowing through the electronic devices plugged into her ears.

She took a step forward without opening her eyes, and it wasn’t the second step when they opened, and she stopped, startled by another person waiting outside the elevator.

Toru found himself somewhat amused, assuming the woman hadn’t noticed his presence until the very last moment. However, as he took a closer look, his eyebrow raised in curiosity, and suddenly, his eyes widened in recognition, realizing who she was.

“Y/n?” He smiled brightly, “are you – are you my neighbor?”

There were only two units on the 25th floor; if he occupied one, she must be the other occupant.

Now…

It all made sense.

A few nights ago, he talked to Mateo as they enjoyed their nightly routine of waiting for their nice neighbor.

“Any second now,” Toru coos at Mateo, who is excited and waiting.

As the keys of the piano resonated with the melody, Toru yearned for a way to create a window connecting to their units, allowing the enchanting piano sounds to flow more clearly between them.

And so they can greet their neighbor.

Nonetheless, it was still clear enough.

Mateo flapped his chubby arms excitedly and began blowing bubbles. Toru smiles at his son lovingly until his ears finally listen to the piece played tonight, which differs from the other nights.

The smile on his face faded, and his attention sharpened as he focused his ears intently. The familiarity of the piece struck a cord within him. He had heard it before and knew it well.

Y/n…

That was it!

That was Y/n’s piece she always played for him when he would study at her house!

He never got the chance to ask her for the name.

How long has it been since he last seen her?

Over ten years?

The sweet girl who stutter all her life.

The sweet girl was often self-conscience about speaking, going silent to avoid being teased. Finally, however, she discovered her voice in a different form, expressing herself eloquently through the keys of her piano.

The sweet girl who was expected to become a future pianist.

The sweet girl would play the piano for him so he could focus and study.

The sweet girl who had a crush on him during Aoba Josei’s days.

The sweet girl whom he took advantage of to get his grades up so he could graduate on time.

The sweet girl he took a bet on to see if he could make her fall for him.

His last memory of her was saying he was sorry for being caught.

And she only smiled and walked away.

“To… Toru?” She stuttered; eyes still filled with shock.

Toru gives her a soft smile, “hey, yeah, it’s me…”

The door began to close when they both reached out to stop it from closing. Y/n quickly hops out of the elevator.

“You’re… you live there?” she pointed to his door, “you… you have a ba – baby?”

“I… yes, I live there, and I do… it’s just my son, and I thought…” he wasn’t sure why he had to explain himself, but he did anyway. “Are you… living by yourself there?”

She nodded, taking off her earbuds. “I – I should get… going… it is ni – nice to see yo – you again.”

Toru stopped her, grabbing her elbow but quickly releasing his grip when he realized his action. “Sorry, I… I’m happy to run into you again. I’m really thankful for you…” he searched her eyes, “my son, Mateo, and I are thankful to you every night for playing for us – “

“I don’t play for you.” She said clearly, and Toru flinched at her tone. She spoke so clearly that he was shocked.

“Ah,” he rubbed the back of his head, “we are still grateful… it helps my son sleep….” He smiled, “I should get going; it is nice running into you.”

Y/n nodded again, giving him a small smile before disappearing into her unit.

. .

Ever since uncovering the identity of his neighbor, Toru couldn’t shake off the lingering ache in his heart.

Following their most recent encounter, Toru had expected his neighbor to refrain from playing the piano. However, to his surprise, she continued playing beautiful melodies.

He was an asshole years ago and was genuinely sorry for hurting her.

He wanted to atone for what he did to her and make it right.

He wanted to see her again.

And he did.

She was waiting for the elevator first when Toru and Mateo returned home from a walk. She didn’t notice them until Mateo began to fuss in the stroller, and she looked over, and her eyes met Toru’s before they shifted to Mateo.

“Hey.” Toru greeted, picking Mateo up from his stroller, which immediately calmed down when he was in his father’s arms. “This is Mateo.”

He could see her expression soften as she hesitated but stepped forward to look at the baby closer. “Hi… Mateo.”

It only took one interaction and one look for the baby to be smitten. Mateo squirmed and smiled brightly, burying his face into his father’s chest as if he was shy all of a sudden. He lifted his head as soon as Y/n stepped back and just blinked.

“How old is he?” She asked quietly.

Toru shifts his grip on his son, “he’s six months turning seven months next week.”

Y/n nodded, keeping her eyes on the baby. “He – he is very cute, looks just like you.”

“Thanks, Y/n.”

The door to the elevator opened, and she gestured for Toru to go in first.

The elevator ride was silent, with Mateo constantly staring in Y/n direction while suckling his pacifier.

“Thank you.” Toru uttered out of the blue, “for playing every night…”

Y/n doesn’t respond but smiles at Mateo, reaching to wiggle her fingers at the baby.

Mateo grabs her fingers in a tight death grip and then leans toward her as if he wants her to hold him. Unfortunately, Y/n had no choice as he leaned over suddenly, and she plucked him from his father’s arm.

“Uh, I guess he likes – “

The elevator abruptly stopped, causing Y/n and Mateo to stumble, but Toru caught them both. His arms wrapped securely around him as he regained their balance. The lights turned off briefly before the dim emergency lights turned on.

Mateo spat out his pacifier and began to whimper.

“Oh! It’s okay; it’s okay.” Y/n cooed, gently rocking the baby. She looked at Toru, who was looking at his phone and dialing for help.

A voice over the intercom immediately announced, “we deeply apologize – the construction next door has caused a power outage within the vicinity. We are working diligently to restore power and immediately send assistance your way.”

Toru and Y/n locked eyes, their silence speaking volumes as they exchanged a shared sigh.

Toru knelt and began to fumble with the basket attached to the stroller.

“What are you looking for?” Y/n asked.

He stopped to look up at her, “just checking to see how much formula Mateo has left; not sure how long we’ll be stuck in the elevator.”

Speaking of the baby, Y/n looked down and discovered the baby was fast asleep against her chest. She wraps his blanket around him before shifting him into her arms.

“You’re really… good with kids…” Toru remembers when Y/n would play with his nephew Takeru when she would come over to help him study. Takeru found liking in Y/n and would ask about her whereabouts whenever he saw his uncle. “Do… you want me to take him? I can put him back in the stroller?”

Y/n shook her head, “not if we don’t know how secure this elevator is; it’s best to hold him for now.” She carefully shifted, passing the slumbering baby back into his father’s waiting arms. Almost instantly, as if sensing the change, Mateo started to wiggle and emit soft whimpers.

As Toru struggled to console his son, the situation seemed to escalate. Finally, Y/n extended a gentle hand, reaching over to tenderly retrieve the baby while soothingly cooing and whispering sweet words. Mateo’s distress dissipated almost instantly, and he surrendered again to sleep. His tiny, chubby hand tightly clenched onto Y/n’s shirt, finding solace in her presence.

Toru believed he knew his son, having been there for him since birth. Yet, it became evident that Y/n, a stranger to his son, possessed a unique ability to provide peace and comfort that surpassed Toru’s efforts.

It wasn’t jealousy he felt but warmth.

. . .

E/n: nothing edited (as always). This might be another roller coaster...

>>>@queenelleee @mfreedomstuff @erintaro @callmeraider @chaotic-fangirl-blog @wolffmaiden @cloud-lyy

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nishayuro · 4 months

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Let me be the one - Haikyuu!! Oikawa Tooru

Collection: My spotify playlist of songs that play in my head at the most unconventional times

Genre: Angst, hurt with comfort

GN!Reader (They/them pronouns)

A/N: Me and my friends were doing karaoke while drinking yesterday and my friend suggested that I sing this song and this morning I had the idea of Oikawa with this and I am sobbing

Synopsis: When given the choice between you or volleyball, Oikawa makes the decision that could make or break you.

“Somebody told me you were leavin', I didn't know, Somebody told me you're unhappy, But it doesn't show”

Oikawa knew that volleyball was close to everything for him. His life revolved around volleyball and his team. With his determination to get to nationals in his final year of high school, he puts all his time in practice, including his time with you.

You and Oikawa have been together since the start of 2nd year, him being your friend before that. You naturally understood his passion for the sport and supported him all the way, but with Seijoh’s loss against Shiratorizawa in the interhigh prelims, his final chance at nationals is around the corner with spring tournaments coming up, he became more distant.

You understand his desperation with each practice, but it came to the point where he’d forget you even existed. Oikawa knows you as an understanding partner, but he doesn’t know how much more you can take. It was when he found out from Iwaizumi the next day that you were actually waiting for him after practice because he promised that he’d walk you home.

“Nobody told me you've been cryin' Every night, Nobody told me you'd been dyin' But didn't want to fight”

“You know, you need to get your priorities straight. I know nationals is important to you, to the whole team, but is it really worth it if you lose Y/N over it?” Iwaizumi told him, staying late with him after practice. “Huh? What’s y/n have to do with this?” Oikawa asked, glancing at his best friend before doing a serve.

“I mean, you kinda left them in the cold yesterday, they were waiting for you outside the gym, and said you promised that you’d walk them home… something about it being your monthsary or something.” Iwaizumi answered. Oikawa’s eyes widened at the realization. “Fuck…” he said.

“Yeah, figured you forgot. I told them to just go home, you were too in the zone yesterday, even I couldn’t get you away from the net.” Iwaizumi added. “What… what did they say about it…” Oikawa asked, voice lingering with a sense of dread. “We didn’t talk about it much, it seemed like they wanted time to think so I just let them, but honestly, you’ve been distant with them for months, I wouldn’t be surprised if they got tired of you making them your least priority.” Iwaizumi stated, standing up and walking towards their things.

It's been a week since you’ve seen Oikawa, with spring high qualifiers approaching more and more by day, the less time he’d have for you, the most you’d get are a few good morning or good night texts but that’s it. It was draining, and you can’t even talk to him about it because you can’t even find time to meet him.

“I-I don’t know anymore… I miss him, it hurts that I feel like I'm just second to that damn sport…” you tell your brother, Issei, who is your boyfriend’s team mate. “I don’t think I can do this anymore…I love Tooru, I really do, but everyday without him is just too much for me. But I don’t know how to break up with him. I’m scared that if I do it suddenly, he’s gonna lose focus with his training and all that, but what about how I feel? I don’t know anymore, Issei.” you admit to him.

“Nobody told me that you fell out of love from me, So I'm settin' you free”

“Oi, Oikawa.” Issei marches up to his captain, “yeah?” Oikawa asked. “I’m gonna say this once, and one time only. You need to set your priorities straight, Y/N is an understanding person, but don’t take that for granted. I’m gonna need you to pick between them or volleyball, because I can see that you can’t do both at the same time without messing one up.” Issei says, voice laced with seriousness, causing Oikawa to freeze.

“They’re… they’re getting tired, aren’t they?” he asked, in a small voice. Issei gives a reluctant nod, Oikawa looks down for a few seconds, before giving a sigh and looking at his teammate once again, “Sorry, don’t worry, I'll set things straight.” Oikawa answers.

“Let me be the one to break it up, So you won't have to make excuses, We don't need to find a set up where, Someone wins and someone loses, We just have to say our love was true, But has now become a lie, So I'm tellin' you I love you one last time And goodbye”

In the cold evening air, Oikawa asks to meet you. “Y/N…” “Tooru…” you both say at the same time. “Issei told me…” he started. “Oh…don’t worry about that! It’s just me overthinking things” you explain. “He said I need to set my priorities. And Y/N, I love you, but…” Oikawa starts, “Nationals has been my dream since I was young, and this is my last attempt…” he continues, you nod. “Yeah, I get that. But I don’t mind, really!” you force, you know where this is going, and like you told your brother, you don’t know what you want to happen. “Y/N… please, you’re hurting. I love you, so I can’t let you suffer because of my selfishness. I want to get this achievement, and as much as I’d want you to be there with me, I can’t prioritize you right now. It’s shitty of me, I know, hate me all you want. I’m sorry, Y/N.” Oikawa finishes, eyes watery, but he knew he was doing this so you don’t have to.

“Okay… goodluck with spring highs, even if we’re not together anymore, I’ll still be supporting you.” you said, tears in your eyes. “Goodbye, Tooru” you say and give him a final hug.

“Somebody told me you still love me, I don't know why. Nobody told me that you only, Needed time to fly. Somebody told me that you want to come back when our love is real again”

It's over. Aoba Johsai lost against Karasuno, ending Oikawa’s dream of entering the national stage. He was devastated, he felt like he lost everything, and maybe he did. He sacrificed everything, he sacrificed his wonderful relationship with you and it still wasn’t enough. He has never regretted a decision before.

He still loved you, never once since the break up did he stop. So when he saw you and Issei walking towards him, he was doing his best to restrain himself from clinging onto you and asking you to come back.

“Look, I don’t know if this is the right time for this. It’s probably not, but I cannot stand you both moping around. So talk this out, the game is over.” Issei says, leaving you with the brown haired male.

“Hey… long time no talk…” he says, “yeah, uh… sorry about the game, you played well. Honestly, thought you’d win.” you say, still not used to the awkwardness. “Yeah…” he answers, pondering if he should do it. “So, how have you been?” he asked. “Good, I guess… still the same person.” you answer. Oikawa took a deep breath, and stood up. “Hey, Y/N… what if I told you that I still love you…” he whispered to himself, but enough for you to hear. “W-what…?” your shocked expression was a sight for the brunette.

“Y/n, since we broke up, never once did I stop thinking about you, if that was the right decision, if that's what I really needed, if that's what we really needed” he started. “The tournament is over for Aoba Johsai, nationals is just a distant dream for me right now. I lost in volleyball, I don’t think I can bear to truly lose you. It was shitty of me to pick volleyball over you, you who has been nothing but supportive of me. You who was there for me, and yet I took that for granted.” he took your hands in his. “So please, take me back. I’ll better myself, I’ll be better for you.” He begs. You’re still in shock, “I-Tooru…” You hesitate. “Do you still love me?” he interrupted, “yes, i never stopped.” You answered, without hesitation, this time.

“We can work together through this test or we can work through it apart, I just need to get this off my chest, That you will always have my heart”

“Then please give me one more chance.” He asks again, “Okay. Okay Tooru.” You answer, giving a smile. His face lit up, caging you into a tight hug, earning giggles from you. “I love you so much.” He whispered into your ear. “I love you too, so so much.” you answered.

From a distance, Issei and Iwaizumi were looking at the both of you, “Thank god they’re back together. I can’t stand another rant from Y/N” Issei comments, “yeah, I can’t go another whine from shittykawa about missing Y/N” Iwaizumi adds.

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samoankpoper21 · 20 days

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With Love, Oikawa

A/N Still reeling from the loss of my cousin '^^ It's not an easy experience to lose someone, it never will be. Surround yourselves with your loved ones, tell them you love them daily because you never know when they'll pass. I'm glad I was able to tell my cousin that I loved him before he passed so please don't mind this post '^^ I just needed to get this out of my system ^^ hope that makes sense and as usual hope y'all enjoy this drabble. T/W: Small mention of unaliving oneself

Word count: 1880

It was a freak accident. At least that's how the doctor's described it.

Morning of you woke up and your inner being was off, something felt misaligned. You peered over to your smirking husband as he reached over to tuck a stray hair behind your ear. "Morning love."

"Morning." you whispered. Years of dating and 2 years of marriage Oikawa could sense when something was bothering you. His eyebrows scrunched together studying your face. "What's wrong?" Taking a shaky breath you answered, "Honestly I don't know. I woke up feeling...weird."

"Anything I can do to alleviate that weirdness?" he wiggles his eyebrows suggestively pulling you closer to him. You giggle giving him an eskimo kiss. "I'm sure it's nothing babe." You both lay there staring at each other, the love for one another apparent in your eyes. He sighs contently kissing your forehead. "What did I do to deserve you?" you hum in response. "Come on babe, gotta get ready for work." He groaned, interlocking your legs together. "Gimme 5 more minutes. 5 more minutes."

"Babe I would love to but I have an important meeting today." He pouted hugging you impossibly tighter. You couldn't resist his pouty face so you chuckled, hugging him back promising, "5 minutes top Toru."

"Yes!"

15 minutes had passed and Oikawa was walking you to the door watching as you slipped your flats on. "What do you feel like eating for dinner babe?"

"You know I'm fine with-you know what, scratch that. Maybe bone broth soup? It's starting to get cold."

"Ok love, I'll get it from that shop in town."

"You're a god send."

"You're just now realizing." You pinched his arm pulling him close. Leaning down to your height, cupping your face, he says, "I love you you know that? Not more than myself but you're alright." You giggled lightly smacking his arm. "I guess you're alright too." He pecked you once, twice, the third time his arms snaking around your plush waist pulling you close, your hands instantly weaving in his light brown locks, his cologne and scent filling your nostrils. "Okay, okay I have to go. Seriously Toru." Trying to pry his arms away from you he pouted dramatically. "What am I gonna do without you for 8 whole hours?"

"Babe you're more than enough entertainment for yourself. Chill."

"You're right. I am pretty awesome." Chuckling, shaking your head, you gave him a quick peck again turning around to wave at him. "I love you."

"Love you more."

The meetings seemed to drag forever. You just wanted to rush home into your husband's arms as he held you. Just one more hour. This was the mantra that was getting you through this work week. It finally hit 5PM and you rushed to the kiosk swiping your card. "Bye everyone! Have a good weekend! Good work today!" you rushed out bowing to your superiors before rushing to your car pushing on the accelerator. Pulling into the driveway you noticed Toru's car not there. Probably went to get dinner. Stepping out you couldn't help but notice how eerily quiet your neighborhood was. Usually there would be some type of noise but everything was...still. You tried shaking off the anxious, dreadful feeling that stayed with you since the morning but it just wouldn't dissipate. Slipping off your shoes at the entrance you changed into your house slippers when the shrill notes of your ringtone broke the silence. Frowning at the unrecognized number you debated on whether you should ignore the call but something in you urged, nagged, you to pick up. "Hello?"

"Hello is this Mrs. Oikawa?"

"This is she."

"My name is Ito Asahi. I'm calling from Midori hospital in regards to your husband." With a quivering voice and shaky hands you ask, "Is...is he ok?"

"Your husband was involved in an accident."

"I don't-I don't understand." the dispatch cleared his throat, clearly uncomfortable with the news he was about to deliver. "Mrs. Oikawa, your husband was hit head on by a drunk driver and was pronounced dead-" the phone dropped, everything sounding muffled, your breathing ragged. You clutched at your chest, tears falling down your eyes, trying to focus on what to do next. Why was it so got damn hard to breathe? "Mrs. Oikawa? Mrs. Oikawa? Mrs. Oikawa?!" Ito's voice slowly brought you back, your hearing now accompanied by a ringing in your ear. "He...he's dead?"

"I'm sorry." you broke down sobbing clutching at your chest. Fumbling for your phone you dialed Hajime. "Hey Y/N-chan."

"Ha-Hajime," your voice broke.

"Y/N? What's wrong? Are you ok? Is everything ok?"

"T-T-Toru,"

"What about him? Did he hurt you?" shaking your head you continued. "T-T-Toru -hic- i-is -hic gone. -hic- He's gone Hajime!" The sound of shoes fumbling and keys being thrown into a pocket could be heard when Hajime blurts out, "Stay there I'm coming to get you."

Hajime found you sitting on the floor in the dark staring numbly ahead. Gently he helped you up, put on your shoes and coat, and asked where Oikawa was. Surprisingly you were able to utter, "Midori Hospital." The drive there was silent, Hajime having already called your mother-in-law. You watched as the green trees and pink hued sky zoomed by, your ears still ringing. The emergency room doors slid open, the bustling of the the patients being wheeled past and nurses zooming by brought you back to the present. You could hear monitors beeping, the intercom paging a doctor to the maternity ward, nurses taking note of vitals from patients sitting out in the lobby. Hajime lead you to the reception area stating, "Hello. We're looking for an Oikawa Toru." the nurse quickly clacked away at her keyboard when she affirms, "Go through the double doors on your left hand side, his room is 1-B which will be on your right. We were waiting for next of kin before wheeling him away."

"Thank you."

You were numb. Everything felt off. It was as if your body was merely a shell and you were just a third party watching, observing as you and Hajime made your way to his room. With shaky hands, Hajime slowly peeled the green curtains back only to find Oikawa's lifeless form covered by a white and green plaid blanket. "Oi," Hajime's voice broke. "Oi trashy-kun wake up. Wake up! Oikawa Toru wake up!" the sobs began racking through Hajime's body, you began rubbing his back. Shortly after your mother-in-law appeared beside you, her shrill wailing piercing the air, your tears silently falling.

The funeral procession went by smoothly and quickly, you being on autopilot. Former and present teammates came to wish their condolences. You instantly recognized the short, orange haired wing spiker and Oikawa's junior setter looking down cast for the first time. "Thank you for being here." you mutter. Numbly you watched as the casket lowered into the ground, the thud of the casket deafening. Iwaizumi escorted you home. "Are you sure you'll be ok Y/N-chan?"

"I'll be fine thank you Hajime."

"Are you sure? If you need anything-"

"I just...I just need time alone." Worried he gave you one last glance before engulfing you in a hug. "Call me? For anything."

"I will." The door silently clicked close as you dragged your feet towards your shared bedroom. Plopping down on the bed you clutched and inhaled Oikawa's San Juan jersey. You got a whiff of his scent and cologne, the dam you tried to hold in your chest finally bursting. Your sobs came out in waves racking your whole body folding the jersey within the confines of your pudgy body, your chest.

4 months later

Since Oikawa's passing you have been on leave for bereavement; you weren't ready to face work, reality really. Hajime and your mother-in-law made it a habit to check in on you; concerned when you brought it to their attention that you would be taking a trip to Kamakura. You reassured them that you would be okay and that you had no intention of ending your life. Walking the shores of Kamakura you peered out towards the ocean with Oikawa's jersey in your beach bag. Laying your towel down in a spot near the shade, you took out your notebook, his jersey and began journaling.

Hi babe, it's me again. It's been 4 months since you've been gone and I can't say that it's getting easier. Hajime and mom have been checking up on me regularly, making sure that I put a little something in my stomach, especially on the days that I don't feel like it. Remember babe when you promised me that we would go to the beach? You kept telling me about how beautiful the beaches in San Juan were and how they don't compare to your beauty so I'm taking a solo trip to Kamakura. I figured this beach is probably on par as San Juan and your essence ha ha ha. How are you? I miss you. I'm taking it minute by minute, the whole bullshit about taking it day by day is hard. As each day comes to a close it gets hard to sleep because I'm always expecting you to come through the door yelling, 'Baaaaaaabeeee I'm hooooooomeeeee.' Each day has its struggles. Some days I'm okay, other days I find myself sobbing nonstop, others I sit there numbly staring at the wall. Pathetic huh? I just know you're probably giving me shit about not doing things extravagantly ha ha ha When is this gonna end? This empty feeling I mean. Since you left there's a gaping hole in my heart that will be tough to fill. Tough but not impossible. You wouldn't be you if you didn't leave me with a little surprise. I found out earlier this week that I'm pregnant. We're having a boy baby! Can you believe it?! When the doctor told me I had tears of joy, sadness, and just remember this feeling of being scared. How am I gonna do this without you? :(( I'm thinking of naming our son either Touki for winter pleasure since that's when he's due or Towa for eternal peace; I'm leaning towards Towa kekeke Oikawa Touki? Oikawa Towa? Has a funny ring to it ^^ What do you think? I've already told mom and Hajime that I have news for them once I get back home late tonight. I want them to be the first to know. I miss you babe. I love you. I will tell our son all about how flamboyant, egotistical, loving, and romantic his dad was and how amazing of a setter you were. Are you playing up there? Wherever you are. Every time I see a clear, starry night it takes me back to when you asked me to marry you^^ Sorry. I know I'm going all over the place but I just really, really, really wanted to let you know that I love you. so so very much. And I miss you more than words can describe. Talk to you later. Sending kisses to the sky. Wait for me my love. I have a lot of work to do here before I can join you^^ love love love you. With love, Y/N.

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hikari-writes · 1 year

Text

If there's one trope i have a hard time imagining oikawa tooru being in, its best friend to lovers 🤔🤔

LIKE??? I always imagine tooru being the type who would never think of his best friend as anything more once he established that they're his best friend???

He would sometimes (a lot of times actually-) jokingly flirt with you but even then those are strictly platonic. People would see the both of you and think, ah yes, oikawa being annoying, nothing new there.

But just because i said i have a hard time imagining it, doesn't mean i hate it nor i can't imagine it at all. Quite the opposite actually. I find tooru in this trope to be quite fascinating.

Hear me out here okay?

Oikawa Tooru, who has been friends with you for god knows how long. The one who has been by your side through your every ups and downs, comforting you when you're sad, sharing your happy moments together, cheering you up to get your minds off of things that upset you.

Oikawa Tooru, who will literally drive how many hours to your house as soon as he knew you had a shitty week or if you had a failed relationship. The one who will, without fail, blackmail the person who made you feel like that and destroy them inside out.

Oikawa Tooru, who loves your smile more than anything in this world, and hates to see your tears more than anything in this world.

Oikawa Tooru, who finds his heart fluttering when you mentioned how lucky you were to have him by your side, or when you snuggled closer to him because of how comfortable it was and him finding his heart going up to his throat at the close proximity between you two.

Oikawa Tooru, who finds you so endearing and only wishes to hold you in his arms for as long as he can and pepper you with kisses and whisper i love yous into your ear.

Oh?

Are these feelings normal for him to have towards his best friend? The one who he’s spent years and most of his time hanging out with? No matter how you look at it, his feelings for you are definitely not just of a friend’s.

Oikawa Tooru, who is only now realizing his feelings for you. How long has he been feeling this way? Probably way longer than he’d like to admit. Way, way longer.

Oikawa Tooru, who has fallen so helplessly in love with you, his best friend, but at the same time is unable to say it out loud in fear of ruining what you two have currently. He who fears the idea of getting rejected by his best friend, and never being able to show his face around you ever again.

Oikawa Tooru, who now finds the thin line that differentiates a friend and a lover so easy to cross, yet so hard. He has to consider what you feel towards him. It's all too risky no matter how simple it looks.

Maybe he'll move on from you one day. Or maybe he won't. But for now, he'll settle for the best friend title as long as he gets to stay by your side. And maybe, just maybe, holds a single, tiny bit of hope, that you would see him. Not as your best friend, but as something else. Something more affectionate and something more intimate. Something that's less platonic.

Until that day come however, he'll just have to accept his fate of being in love with his best friend, aka you.

Haha queued post again im so seory 😭🙏 i rlly said: today we contradicting ourself to make us look more like a clown yea 🤡 have a hard time imagining it then practically vmits out a whole ass imagines 🙄 but neways i had fun!! Writing for tooru is always such a pleasure i love him/p!!! Also this is totally so much longer than i anticipated im soery the idea was too good--

#CouGH see what i meant when i said i have a hard time imagining #i meant that like....as a general common trope for him?#like i think tooru fits smthng like #rivals or blind date or fake dating #smthng that doesnt involve him and u being friends in the first place u get #wat im sayinng?#haikyuu!!#haikyuu x reader #haikyuu x you #haikyuu oikawa tooru #haikyuu oikawa x reader #haikyuu oikawa tooru x reader #haikyuu oikawa #oikawa x y/n #oikawa x reader #haikyuu fluff #haikyuu angst #haikyuu aoba johsai

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chaoticevilorange · 7 months

Note

Hello!!i hope your request are open!& i love all your writing you do for the request i had i was hoping you can do haikyuu boys drunk(kuroo,oikawa & atsumu)x reader maybe?

Heyoooo sorry for taking soooooooo long. But here I am! Less anxious and with new ideas for content 🐨 ♡♡♡♡♡☆☆☆

---------------------

Drunk on you

Kuroo

Your boy hands alcohol quite well but sometimes he gets more than tipsy

Sneaky man gets his hands everywhere

Grows horny every second

Likes when he pulls you against his body and you try to reason with him

Usually he sleeps on the couch during those drunk days but today he wants to cuddle the shit out of you, you look so lovely all red and shy

He thinks he's ready for some action, but as soon as his head touh the pillow he's out

Next day you bring him some painkillers and water

Slick boy turns on a big bby

-------‐--------------------------------------------

Oikawa

One word: SINFUL

Makes you turn all the shades of red

Is so smooth about it, you're actually considering in have some 👀

But....

He gets out of character when he starts to chuckle

Now he looks like a silly cartoon

He can't stop it, he's even starting to bend over from the lack of oxygen

He's banned to the couch

-----------------------------------------

Atsumu

The first time you saw him tipsy he looked like he could flirt the shit out of you

And he does for a little but....

Little you know he's actually the dad's joke champion

He keeps going with the silliest jokes he knows, like his head is the wikidadjokes™

So you try to feed him and give some water

Let's be real he's a big baby and wants you to feed him

You do, all while he explains you how do you call an alligator in a vest is an investigator

You bring painkillers for your growing headache, and for his future headache next morning

‐----------------‐-------------------------------------

Hope you like it! It's been a while since the last time I wrote something that I feel like I'm starting all over, also I'm currently into genshi. Impact if anyone is interested in pome drabbles about some husbando/waifu from the game 🐨 ♥

#haikyuu x reader #haikyuu x y/n #haikyuu scenarios #🐨 imagines #haikyuu fluff #atsumu miya x reader #haikyuu atsumu #haikyuu atsumu miya #haikyuu oikawa x reader #haikyuu oikawa tooru #haikyuu oikawa #haikyuu kuroo tetsuro #haikyuu kuroo #kuroo tetsuro x reader #kuroo x reader #kuroo tetsuro x you

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rambeu · 1 year

Text

what if i doodled a tooru in 2023. what then.

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ahuublog · 1 year

Text

oikawa tooru as a boyfriend

you don’t know how you find yourself dating oikawa

it’s just… unexpected

you’re like elizabeth bennet – he seems to be rather proud and boastful and beautiful (you don’t even try to deny it)

so you are pretty prejudiced when you’re firstly introduced to each other

matsukawa and hanamaki do this, actually

so you’re a little bit confused by his unexpectedly light and not that shameless smile

and you’re even more confused when it turns out that talking with him goes with the flow

it just feels so comfortable

yeah, you’re kinda lost

but he suddenly invites you to the university game and you can’t say no

though you still don’t believe it’s something more than a flirty joke

but you can’t stop smiling in return when oikawa beams after noticing you

you end up discussing the game after they win

and the team is just laughing at you

“captain, she doesn’t run away from your volleyball stories. you should take her to the altar”

“firstly – on a date” – oikawa makes you cough with such answer

but here you are

dating oikawa and being strangely wonderful with it

he’s CHEEKY

but in a good way – he never crosses the border and never upsets you, he just jokes and makes remarks all the time

obviously, volleyball is important

you’re not fond of playing yourself, but you adore watching oikawa at games

he just beams whenever he holds a ball in his hands

and you beam while looking at him

so it’s literally two of you adoring each other’s achievements and interests

that is what makes you relationship so wonderful

you both don’t pretend – he never holds back from discussing what is important to him (iwaizumi tells you one day that it’s a huge problem for tooru)

he’s cheeky right but he LOVES you

literally the biggest soft spot for you

like he can’t stop smiling whenever you’re in the room

stupid pick-up lines

“do you have a driving license? cause you’re driving me crazy”

you simply kiss him in return

and he melts

like MELTS

that makes all the team prank him

but he’s not against it

“i have a friend and a girlfriend in one person, don’t be jealous, dudes”

kisses you on the neck whenever he can

you got chills everywhere because of that and he knows

so he does that on purpose

you giggle and he continues to kiss you

hugs you all the time

let’s sum up – you're just head over heels in love with each other

#haikyuu #oikawa tooru #oikawa x you #oikawa imagine #oikawa haikyuu #oikawa x y/n #oikawa fluff #haikyuu oikawa tooru

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izufeels · 2 years

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⌕ [ eternal ] — t.oikawa !

“i’m home,” tooru shouted through the apartment as he walked through the front door.

he set his bag down on the floor and walked into the kitchen, where y/n was standing, staring at the oven.

the kitchen was an absolute mess.

“uh, y/n?” tooru walked up behind the girl and leaned his head on her shoulder. “what’re you making?”

y/n turned around and looked at him, hands on her hips. she looked like she had been crying. “i was making cupcakes. but, i’m horrible at baking, so i fucked them up.”

tooru glanced around the kitchen, then up. “did- y/n, how the fuck did you get frosting on the ceiling?” he laughed loudly, backing away from y/n.

she hit his chest slightly, pouting. she groaned and spun around, leaning against the counter. “it’s not funny, tooru! i was trying to make them for you!” she shouted.

“oh? why’s that, sweeheart?” he asked, smiling. “what did i do to deserve your cupcakes, hm?” he wrapped his arms around y/n’s waist and leaned down to kiss her shoulder.

y/n sighed. “you work hard. really hard. and you deserve a break, but you never let yourself have one,” she mumbled, still facing towards the counter. “so, i thought, maybe if i made you stupid cupcakes, you’d let yourself have a break and you’d eat them with me.”

tooru hummed into the crook of her neck. y/n could feel him smile, which made y/n smile.

“i love you, y/n,” he kissed her shoulder. “so much,” he kissed her neck. “you’re amazing, and beautiful, and i love you.”

y/n paused. “stop praising me, i was supposed to be doing this to you. i don’t need a break, you do.”

“i love you, y/n. i don’t need a break. you’re my break. i come home, and i see you, and that is my break. my escape from volleyball and school and everything.”

she turned to look at him.

“i love you with every bone in my body, y/n,” he whispered, dipping down to kiss her nose. “i’m gonna marry you some day, remember that.”

she smiled. “i love you too.”

#haikyuu #haikyuu!!#haikyuu fluff #haikyuu x reader #oikawa tooru #tooru oikawa #oikawa #oikawa tooru x reader #tooru oikawa x reader #oikawa x reader #haikyuu oikawa tooru

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nanaminokanojo · 2 years

Text

"Oikawa"

CHARACTERS: Oikawa Tooru X You CHAPTER COUNT: 1/1 WORD COUNT: 1100+ GENRE: high school au | slight angst | slice of life | some romance | fluff? CONTENT WARNING: strong language | mentions of insecurities SPOILERS: result of the Karasuno/Seijoh practice match collection masterlist

"There he goes again."

That would be Iwaizumi, a deep frown already wedged between his thick brows as he watched Oikawa from the portico of the volleyball gym. The guy had actually gone through the motions of standing like some cool movie protagonist against the gate post, waiting for the Karasuno volleyball team to exit the school grounds.

Their own team had just lost over a practice game. It had been nothing but a ploy for Oikawa to gauge one Kageyama Tobio's skills in the court. The team captain was taking no chances especially when said individual — the genius setter from their former middle school whom he had been rather insecure of — can play in the inter-high tournaments.

They were interesting, that team. They had a cute little ginger who can run around the court like he was teleporting here and there, his soaring jumps and agile reflexes matching that of Kageyama's supposedly laser-accurate sets. You did not miss how that boy, the "shrimp" as Oikawa had termed him, looked at the latter with challenge in his eyes as he made the last point.

But even more interesting was how your boyfriend was behaving towards these seemingly unassuming first years. He only ever behaved that way around Ushijima Wakatoshi, the captain of Shiratorizawa whom everyone thought of as Oikawa's arch rival. Well, a good trait of his was not underestimating his possible opponents regardless of their skill level, and it was one of the factors which always made him anticipate their moves, not one of them catching him off guard. But seeing how the cogs behind his brown eyes were moving as he immersed himself in deep thought, you knew he smelled the storm brewing before it even did.

And you enjoyed that immensely.

This is Oikawa Tooru in the flesh, the real one behind the carefully laid out facade he kept in front of everyone.

"Should we go stop him?" Matsukawa asked as Karasuno emerged from the gym, making their way towards the gate.

As was expected, they stopped walking when Oikawa engaged them, no doubt dishing out his best impression of an antagonist. He's one for the theatrics, and you always found it amusing when he goes over the top with his endeavors, this time, an attempt at intimidation.

"Y/N," Iwaizumi prompted you, but you shook your head, leaning over the balustrade as you braced yourself for whatever Oikawa will say or do. You looked on with glee in your eyes, the smile on your face almost a snarl.

You were proud of him, for everything that he is and stands for. You were proud of the fact that, second to Iwaizumi, you knew Tooru the best. You prided yourself of the fact that you are one of the two people in the world who knew of Oikawa's deepest of selves. And you loved him immensely to smithereens regardless of what anybody may say.

Your boyfriend and the other team exchanged some words, and for a second there, he looked like he was going to be involved in a brawl with one of Karasuno's players. You would like to see how that goes just to see how he would handle it, but even more exciting was his interaction with that particular boy.

Come on, you thought as he approached the one called Kageyama. That's it, sweetheart.

"You find this funny, Y/N?" Hanamaki asked you, obviously annoyed, but his question was drowned out when Oikawa suddenly pointed at Kageyama and started spouting shit about how he wanted to crush his "adorable kohai," saying it in such a passionate way that had a grin etching its way across your lips.

There you are, my love.

You were the only one who know that there was more than what meets the eye where the captain was concerned. You are the onewho kept him grounded, put him in his right place and kept him in check. At the same time, you’re the lover who tolerated his mean streak and sustained his delusions of grandeur, inflated his ego and nursed it. It seems that way. But that wasn't what you were seeing.

And as such, you saw everything.

You didn't fail to notice that hesitation he tackled within nanoseconds before he stepped towards the younger boy, the very slight twitch in his left eye and the tremble in his lower lip that was concealed by that smirk. It didn't escape your attention how he looked so much more strained and anxious in front of the blue-eyed stranger as if his primal fears are rearing their heads to the surface, the intensity of which was greater compared to when he is facing Ushijima.

There's Oikawa Tooru, the one you knew. The real one.

Matsukawa chuckled quietly while Hanamaki made a face. Only Iwaizumi understands what exactly it is that you see because he sees it, too. He glanced at you with a look that was both familiar and unfathomable at the same time before adjusting the strap of his bag on his shoulder.

"How on earth is this entertaining?" Hanamaki asked you again. "He's very mean."

You just smiled at him. "It's never entertaining." And with that, you broke out of the group, happily skipping your way towards Oikawa who smiled brightly at you, arms opening to take you, twirling you around once before holding you close by the shoulder, the two of you laughing as you walked home.

"Tooru?" you said as the laughter died down, replaced by silence as his brows scrunched up in deep contemplation.

He immediately beamed at Iwaizumi, hiding again and always, /always/ behind that artificial happy and unbothered disposition.

"What is it, my love?"

You met his gaze squarely, and with all the conviction you can manage in your quiet tone, you said, "You've been very brave."

Oikawa didn't say anything but his fingers twined themselves through yours, squeezing as a small smile etched itself across his mouth, his fears forgotten for the time being.

-end

I made this for Oikawa's birthday, but I was too lazy to proofread and post it lol

Thank you so much for reading. Likes, comments and reblogs are deeply appreciated! Hope you enjoyed it.

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idlerin · 3 months

Text

nonsense — 40. only your love

preferably listen to old love by yuji while reading :)

masterlist — previous | epilogue

✦ fun facts !

oikawa showed [name] the letters he wrote for her :)

[name] is wearing her necklace with oikawa’s initials on it again :)

oikawa is regularly showered with [name]’s random drabble ideas :)

they have a joint morning routine now :)

oikawa went with [name] when she talked to her parents :)

sometimes they spend nights together with [name] writing papers and oikawa reading manuscripts :)

oikawa is spoiled with affection ([name] is too) :)

nonsense ! an oikawa tooru social media au

synopsis. you were oikawa tooru’s #1 fan, until you became his #1 hater. you hated him so much you went viral on twitter (accidentally) and literally became known as “the oikawa tooru hater”, doesn’t help that he keeps fueling the fire by subtweeting you. everyone is all in for this new drama. what isn’t known to the public, is that this particular drama’s been on hold for three years (him being your ex and all).

a/n — THIS IS IT officially the end of the main story!!! its been such a long journey with u guys (cuz of my hiatuses) and IM ACTUALLY SO HAPPY AND THANKFUL AND GRATEFUL TO EVERYONE WHO STAYED READ COMMENTED REBLOGGED AND MORE nonsense wouldnt be nonsense without you guys ☹️❤️ i have more to say but i’ll be putting it in the epilogue (3-parts, will be short) the epilogue is essentially just a bonus and this is like the actual last part of the story :(( love you guys i’ll construct a proper message i swear HAHAHAHAA okay last thing, thank you for loving oikawa and [name]’s love and sticking till the end!

taglist is closed ! + (1/2) @kawaii-angelanne @ceneridiankaa @kittycasie @rukia-uchiha-98 @polish-cereal @kellesvt @rockleeisbaeeee @kashxyou @imsoluvly @jjulliette @tooruchiiscribs @littlefreakjulia @gomjohs @qualitygiantshoepsychic @mellowknightcolorfarm @konzumeken @migosple @kuroogguk @sangwooooo @katsu-shi @wolffmaiden @rijhi @2baddies-1porsche @yeehawcity @aishkaaa @crueldinasty @renardiererin @yyuiz @llamakenma @penguinlovestowrite @princelingperfect @hearts4faey @yoonabeo @pantherhappy @julia-1901 @godsbiggestmenace @angel-luv-04 @noideawhothatis @bethbat @natsvmie @luna-mothii @lylovw @apinu @leave-rae-alone @kamikokii @bananasquash @eitaababe @minimari415 @hanabihwa @nilopillo

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mavrintarou · 1 year

Text

[4:38 PM] Oikawa Toru [3]

Thank you for your patience <3

Warning: angst, healing and future complication

Second part Fourth part

After ensuring Mateo’s fever had subsided, Y/n kicked Toru to get some sleep. She saw his hesitation; did he not trust her with his son?

Y/n responded with a deadpan expression, her tone tinged with sarcasm. “Oh, don’t worry. I promise I won’t just take off with him,” she said, her words laced with irony.

Toru shook his head, his expression filled with disbelief. “No, no, that’s… I trust you,” he muttered, looking visibly exhausted. “I just… I can’t wrap my head around this. Why would you care about us?”

Y/n raised an eyebrow, surprised by his response. “you were the one who came to my unit,” she reminded him.

Recalling their initial encounter, Toru nodded slowly. “Yeah… you’re right,” he acknowledged.

“I have a weird sleep schedule anyways, so I’m used to being a night owl.” Y/n turned her attention back to Mateo, who suckled his pacifier in her arms. “I’ll watch his fever, so go rest.”

He inhaled like he had more things to say but nodded, “all right, but wake me up at any time, got it?” She saluted him, and he smiled before turning his heels towards his bedroom. He left the door cracked ajar so that Y/n did not feel uncomfortable entering his room if needed.

Y/n and Mateo sat together, swaying and waltzing to the melody of her old concerto videos playing on YouTube. The city night of Tokyo glowed below them as they gazed out from the window. The soothing music and gentle rhythm lulled Mateo into a peaceful slumber, his head finding a comfortable spot against Y/n’s chest.

Y/n’s gaze shifted toward the TV as the familiar sound of a solo violinist filled the room, and her heart began to race with anticipation.

Kim Woojin.

As the video continued to play, Y/n realized with nostalgia and sadness that it was their concerto performance from four years ago.

It had been a while since she had last spoken to Woojin, particularly after he had proposed to her.

Despite their history, she had made the difficult decision to reject his proposal.

Y/n sat across from Toru in awkward silence at his kitchen table.

She woke up to the smell of delicious food and immediately was hungry. The thought of food was pushed aside as her mind focused on getting Mateo’s fever down.

Toru set a plate of scrambled eggs, toast, and fruits before her. He pushed a freshly squeezed glass of orange juice toward her while sipping on some tea.

“Thank you,” she muttered, still feeling dazed.

Mateo was in Toru’s arms, being fed with a bottle.

I need to go, she thought, chowing down her food.

“I won’t kick you out, so you don’t need to inhale your food,” Toru said softly, setting the bottle on the table and shifting Mateo upward to pat his back.

Y/n narrowed her eyes at him for reading her mind. “I appreciate the breakfast, but I have other things to do today,” she lied; she had nothing to do now that she was taking a break from the piano world.

“Mateo and I can’t thank you enough for whatever you did to eliminate his fever.”

Y/n nodded, finishing the last of her strawberries. She stood up and began picking up her plate to take to the sink when Toru stopped her. “Your hands are full; this is the least I can do.”

She ended up washing the dishes before she said goodbye.

“I’ll be away the next couple of days. I used your TV to search for some of my old videos on YouTube last night, and it seemed to have put Mateo to sleep.” She sighs, “hopefully, it’ll work.”

Toru smiled, “thank you, Y/n. Truly.”

. .

Y/n returned four days later.

Traveling across multiple time zones took a toll on Y/n’s body, making it difficult for her to adjust. Exhausted, she managed to take a quick shower before collapsing into bed. She fell into a deep sleep, unaware of the passing hours until evening.

Glancing at the clock on her phone, Y/n groaned in frustration. She despised the disoriented feeling that often accompanied traveling, as it disrupted her entire day.

Opening her fridge, she was greeted with empty shelves.

Sighing, she returned to her room to change her clothes to go out.

She returned an hour later, complete and with some groceries. She exited the elevator and looked at the opposite door for a second before entering her unit.

. .

[Aoba Josei High School]

Y/n couldn’t stop smiling like a fool.

She and Toru have plans to stop by the bookstore after school to pick up the latest manga volume to In Your Heart. A series that he took an interest in after he found her reading it.

Toru also wanted to treat her to ice cream.

Y/n has yet to tell Toru that she couldn’t resist and read beyond the chapters online and find out what happened next.

The main character, Lina, is a well-known pianist who returns home after being abroad for many years. She runs into her first crush from high school, Nikko, and they reconnect, falling in love with each other once again. But Lina has a secret…

Y/n has been giddy, wanting to blurt about the spoiler she discovered; Toru will be so shocked!

She placed a hand over her rapidly beating heart, which seemed to flutter whenever she thought about Toru. Unable to ignore it any longer, she realized she was just like the many other girls easily charmed by his captivating personality.

A persistent voice in the depths of her mind constantly urged caution, reminding her to be careful. However, her heart was experiencing emotions she had never felt before, and it was impossible for her not to desire more.

Y/n followed behind three unknown girls as they led her outside the school building. She was annotating her notes when three girls approached her desk.

“We have something to say to you; follow us.”

They turned the corner behind the gymnasium, and Y/n hesitated until one of the girls stepped out, “come.”

Finally, when they were out of earshot, the girl Y/n perceived as the leader stepped closer and swiftly retrieved something from her pocket. She forcefully brought it to Y/n’s face, making her flinch in surprise.

“Watch this.”

The video began playing, starting shaky and at a weird angle toward four boys.

She immediately recognizes Toru and the other three boys he is often around with, Hajime, Takahiro, and Issei.

“How is it going with Y/n?” Issei inquired, kicking his feet onto his desk.

Toru shrugged his shoulder. “I think it’s going good; she’s warmed up to me.”

“Yeah, we can tell; I’ve never heard her talk to so much before.” Issei laughed mockingly. “What did you do? Woo her?”

Toru snorted, “my charm was enough for her to open up to me. How much more do you need for me to win the bet?”

A hand slapped the back of Toru’s head; Iwaizumi Hajime growled, “you made a bet? That’s the bet you guys were talking about?”

“Toru said he could get any girl to fall at his feet; Y/n is totally at his feet.” Takahiro laughed, digging into the inside of his pocket before slapping a few bills in front of Toru. “It’s just a bet; it’s not like Toru said he would get her to fall in love with him. He just needed to open her up; no harm done.”

“But still, you made a bet on her.” Hajime pointed, “that’s still a shitty thing to do, Shitty-Kawa.”

“Chill, Iwa-chan,” Toru rolled his eyes, “I only said I’ll get her to fall for my charms, which she did. I didn’t say anything about dating her and dumping her. If anything, I helped her open up to a man, a future man for herself, so she should be thankful I helped her up for her.”

Issei leaned forward before Toru, “do you like her?”

Toru shook his head, “no, she’s cute, but I don’t like her. Her stuttering is cute, but personally, it’s a turn-off.”

Hajime swore, “you’re an asshole. Did you pretty much use the girl to help your grades?”

“Yep!” the two other guys answered. “That’s why he had the top scores in the class, and now Oikawa has the grades to apply to colleges.”

The video ended.

Words were sealed, and Y/n could only look pitiful.

“We thought you should know the truth.” The girl stuffs her phone back in her pocket. “Whatever you decide to do is up to you.” They turned to walk away.

“W – wa – ait,” Y/n whispered; they turned to look over their shoulders. “Th – thank y – ou.”

Toru found himself glancing back at Y/n’s empty seat.

It has been day three of her absence, and their teacher has not said anything about her absence like she would with other students.

She also hasn’t responded to any of his messages after her last message to him canceling their plans to go to the bookstore and grab ice cream afterward.

“Class, I have an announcement to make.” The teacher tapped her pen against the chalkboard to get everyone’s attention. “One of our classmates, Y/n…” she paused to inhale sharply. “She will no longer be in this class as of today. Can I ask a volunteer to clear Y/n’s locker and deliver her possession?”

Toru stood up immediately, “I volunteer.”

After school was out, when Naomi approached him, Toru rushed to gather his items to leave.

She looked seriously before asking quietly, “can I talk to you for a bit?”

Toru nodded before following her. She stepped off to the side, away from the crowd rushing to leave.

He noticed Naomi eyeing the bag of Y/n’s items, mainly a pencil pouch, a few notebooks, and small stationary items. “I can take those to Y/n.”

Toru frowned; his grip tightened around the handle of the bag. “It’s okay. Utada-sensei asked me to drop it off, and it’s on my way home, too, so I can swing by.” He paused, watching Naomi before asking, “did something…happen to Y/n?”

Her eyes turned cold, “shouldn’t you know best? Since you made that bet on her?” She wanted to laugh in his face when his eyes widened. She held her hand out, but Toru made no move to hand over the bag. “Face it, you’ve been outed, Oikawa; I hope you won a good chunk of money.”

Naomi took a step forward, she was tall for a girl, but she wasn’t as tall as Toru, but her stance was taller than him. “If I had not promised Y/n, I would have punched you.” She reached to snatch the bag out of his hand, leaving him behind stunned.

The end of the school year came in a blink of an eye, and before Toru knew it, he was only two days away from graduation.

Everyone has congratulated him for getting scouted and accepted to join Club Atletico San Juan, a professional team in the Argentina Volleyball Federation. It is beyond his hopes and imagination, and he is still processing it.

He would immediately leave for Argentina right after graduation.

He knows he’s happy and proud of himself.

But there was something heavy on his heart.

Toru has been sitting on the bench at one of the local parks near his home, waiting for Y/n.

If she does come.

He had texted her earlier; you probably don’t want to see me anymore, but I would like to explain myself. Can we meet at the park by our house in 30 minutes?

His knee has been shaking nervously. Doubts plagued his mind: What if he couldn’t effectively convey his message? What if he stumbled over his words? The fear of choking on his words weighed heavily on him.

His head snapped up the moment he felt the spot beside him shift. “Y/n…” She doesn’t spare him a glance, staring straight ahead. “All I can say is… I’m sorry.” There is no emotion on her face. “I got accepted to play for a club in Argentina, and I’ll be leaving soon, but I couldn’t leave without saying I’m truly sorry. I own up to all my mistakes, my actions of hurting you… I don’t even know how to make up for hurting you.”

Tears pricked his eyes, but he berated himself for even considering crying. How dare he shed tears after showing no remorse when agreeing to the bet? Deep down, he knew the situation was complex, but he believed it was better not to make this worse any further. “I’m truly sorry,” he managed to say, his voice filled with regret.

Y/n stood up, and Toru’s eyes followed as she turned her heels to stand before him. She exhaled softly and then smiled.

Toru blinked, eagerly awaiting her response, hoping for any words to escape her lips. He braced himself for the possibility of her expressing hatred or refusal to forgive him. However, she remained silent, to his surprise, not uttering a single word.

She just stared at Toru for a second longer before she dropped her head and turned her heels, walking away.

. .

[Present day]

Y/n woke up feeling drowsy; she couldn’t tell if the sun was rising or ready to set.

Closing her eyes, she found herself once again immersed in memories of her high school days. Since the day she reconnected with Toru, her dreams seemed to be plagued by images of the past. It reminded her of the pain he had caused her, urging her to be cautious about getting involved with him again. However, part of her wonders if these dreams were a form of closure she needed, a way to finally put the past behind her.

The last encounter Y/n had with Toru occurred just before he departed overseas. Discovering that she had been nothing more than a bet to him left her reeling, and she needed space to process her emotions. Over time, she managed to move on and let go of the hurt caused by the bet.

In hindsight, she realized she should have trusted her instincts and knew it was too good for someone like Toru to genuinely want to be her friend.

However, his hurtful comment about her stuttering pierced her heart the deepest. That remark cut deep, lingering her thoughts and intensifying the pain caused by the ordeal.

For the longest time, she had accepted her speech impediment as a flaw, and her parents had encouraged her to seek professional help. However, she was always too nervous and shy to take that step. It was easier for her to remain silent; she had grown accustomed to that.

Reflecting on her past, Y/n realized that Toru’s presence in her life had sparked a newfound confidence in her speech. She developed a strong desire to communicate with him, which motivated her to study diligently and practice speaking sentences slowly to overcome her stuttering.

“M – mom… and d – ad…,” Y/n inhales sharply, interrupting the silence at dinner. “I… I want to go to – to O – Osaka School o – of Speech….”

The specialty school didn’t operate like public schools. After much consideration and approval from the principal of Aoba Josei, they allowed Y/n to graduate early so she could immediately start her classes at the specialty school.

Y/n decided to temporarily set aside her passion for piano to focus entirely on improving her speech. With dedicated effort and determination, she witnessed a remarkable process in a short amount of time. Her speech had improved tremendously, surprising her expectations.

For the first time in her life, Y/n experienced an unparalleled excitement about engaging in conversations. Her new confidence had been uplifted, inspiring her to discuss all the topics she had been too afraid to broach in the past.

Even years later, her stuttering only resurfaced in rare instances when she found herself overwhelmingly nervous. With her progress and confidence, her speech impediment became a distant memory, only appearing in the most intense moments of anxiety.

And recently, since she ran into Toru again.

Y/n lifted her head at the sound of her door chime. Grabbing her phone, she sees the notification that someone is at her door.

Toru and Mateo.

She exited the bed and ran her fingers through her hair before shouting, “coming!”

“Hey,” Toru greeted as soon as she opened the door, “we wanted to see if you would like to join us for dinner at our place. Mateo and I would like to treat you to dinner for being so kind to us.”

Her gaze met Mateo’s, and for a brief moment, he seemed taken aback before recognizing her. A look of excitement spread across his face, and he energetically pumped his chubby arms. She smiled sweetly at him before answering, “sure, give me ten minutes to change, and I’ll be over.”

Toru left the door ajar, allowing Y/n to enter without hesitation. She scanned the room, searching for the baby, and Toru directed her attention to the living room.

As she stepped inside, her eyes fell upon the adorable sight of Mateo sitting amidst a scattering of toys. When he saw her, his chubby arms started flapping excitedly, causing him to lose his balance and fall backward.

Y/n couldn’t contain her laughter as she hurried over to him.

“Don’t mind him; he’s in the phase of wanting to be held all the time. Don’t fall for it.” Toru’s voice echoed from the kitchen. Despite the warning, Y/n couldn’t resist the adorable charm of Mateo’s longing gaze.

“Hi, Mateo!” she cooed, clapping her hands to get his attention. Mateo’s face immediately lit up with excitement, clearly indicating his desire to be picked up. Y/n gently maneuvered him into a sitting position, but as soon as she did, he clung to her with a surprisingly firm grip, refusing to let go. “All right, all right, I’ll pick you up,” she chuckled, giving into his pout. Mateo nestled comfortably against her chest, his eyes gazing at her with awe.

She leaned in to kiss his chubby cheek, “so glad you’re feeling better.” She reached to comb his mop of dark brown hair and brushed it behind his ears, “your hair is getting long.” Her thumb rubbed his earlobe, and he let out a yawn. “Are you tired?”

She stood up and cuddled him against her chest, rocking him gently.

“Don’t cave in, Y/n… or else you’ll make it hard for me.” Toru groaned from the kitchen.

Despite Toru’s comment, the genuine smile on his face betrayed his words. Deep down, he harbored a secret appreciation for any interaction between the two.

Toru knows he can only do so much to fill the vacancy of a mother figure for Mateo, and he often wonders how it would be if Mateo had a mother figure in his life. Though he was still too young to understand it now, eventually, he would question why he didn’t have a mother like other kids his age.

Until that day arrives, Toru will assume the roles of both mother and father and will do his best to explain the situation when Mateo is old enough to understand. He won’t hide anything, but he will do his damn best to protect his son from anything and everything.

Being thrust into the role of a single parent, Toru found himself starting from square one with no prior knowledge or experience in caring for babies. The prospect of raising a child was entirely foreign to him, leaving him feeling utterly clueless and uncertain about where to begin.

As Mateo’s due date approached, Toru’s anxiety consumed him, and self-doubt crept into his thoughts. The weight of being the impending responsibility began to overwhelm him. Questions raced through his mind. Could he genuinely handle caring for a baby on his own? What would this mean for his volleyball career, which demanded so much time and dedication? Amid his uncertainty, the idea of putting the baby up for adoption crossed his mind as a potential solution. These distressing thoughts clouded his judgment and added to his growing panic.

As soon as Mateo was placed in Toru’s arms in the quiet sanctuary of a separate room at the hospital, a profound shift occurred within him. In that tender moment, as he gazed into his baby’s eyes, Toru realized he couldn’t abandon this innocent life. This was his baby, his flesh and blood, and he felt an overwhelming surge of love and responsibility inside him.

He no longer wished to beg Lucia to reconsider or plead for her to stay for the sake of their child. He wanted her to leave, to have no part in their lives. It was clear to Toru that he and Mateo were meant to face the world together, forming an unbreakable bond as father and son.

“Your noo – noodles will overcook at this point….”

Toru blinked, seeing that he completely ignored the pot of overly boiling ramen. “Oh shoot!” He quickly turned off the stove and glanced at Y/n, holding Mateo in her arms as they looked at him with the same confused look.

“You might be right; it’s a little overcooked.”

Y/n shrugged her shoulder and turned her attention to Mateo. Smiling, she told the baby, “it’s okay; I like soft ramen.” As if Mateo knew what she meant, he smiled widely at her.

Toru smiled too, his heart soft like his ramen at the sight of his son and Y/n smiling.

Y/n leaned back against her seat, groaning. “I’m so full.”

She thought he was only making home-cooked food; it turns out he ordered other food, which was delivered. Toru’s family-size kitchen table was filled with different dishes.

“Why did you get so much food?” She complained that she was full but continued adding to her plate.

Toru held a sleeping Mateo in his arms and ate with one hand, “well, I didn’t know what you like, so I got a variety of things.”

“Toru, if you knew me – you would know I’ll never say no to any food.” She bit into a piece of batter squid and sighed, “this is so delicious too.”

“I would like to know more about you.”

Y/n blinks, allowing those words to sink in. It was a simple yet significant statement that carried the weight of curiosity and a genuine desire to understand her better.

Toru observed the rapid whirl of thoughts in Y/n’s mind, realizing the gravity of his words. “I mean as in a friend,” he clarified, his voice filled with sincerity. “I want to be your friend again if you allow it.” His heart raced as she set her chopsticks down, causing his anxiety to spike. “Please, I’m sorry if I made this uncomfortable. I didn’t intend for it to be – “

Y/n’s words carried a sense of maturity and willingness to let go of the past. She assured him, “whatever happened between us years ago, it’s in the past. I don’t hate you.” Taking a moment to compose herself, she dabbed her mouth with a napkin. “I’m glad you’re bringing this up because… I didn’t know how to address it.” She took a deep breath before continuing, “I won’t ask why I was a bet, but I want to know if you ever regretted it.” Her question hung in the air, reflecting curiosity and the need for closure.

“Yes,” he admitted, his response soft, almost a whisper, as he nodded. “Every day.”

Toru’s gaze bore into Y/n’s, his eyes reflecting guilt. It was a look she had noticed ever since reconnecting with him.

“I forgive you.” Y/n said in a heartbeat. Her words carry the power of absolution. A soft smile graced her lips as she continued, “so, let that burden go.” Though her words were simple, they meant everything.

She offered him her forgiveness and the opportunity to release the weight of his remorse and find solace.

With a profound sense of relief, it felt like the heavy burden on Toru’s shoulders had finally lifted.

His head dropped as he took a deep breath, mixed emotions washing over him. Setting his chopsticks down, he wiped the tears from his eyes. His voice barely above a whisper, “thank you.”

For so long, Toru had carried the weight of his past actions, believing that he deserved any punishment or consequences that came his way. He had run away, thinking it to be an act of cowardice, choosing to pursue his career in another country. But the burden became heavier with each passing day, month, and year.

He quietly carried it, not making a fuss, as he believed it was the price he had to pay for his foolish behavior.

Through time, Toru recognized the impact Y/n had made on his life, despite the relatively short period they had known each other. Her kindness had touched his heart, a realization that slowly dawned on him. That was all she had ever offered him throughout their encounters: genuine compassion.

Even after all this time, her influence lingered within him, a constant reminder of the goodness he had encountered in her presence. It was a testament to the power of small acts of kindness and the lasting impact they could have on a person’s life long after the moments have passed.

“Toru,” he looked up, “forgive yourself so you can be better and do better.” Her eyes drop to the deeply asleep baby in his arm, “do it for Mateo.”

And you, he said to himself.

“Okay,” he nodded, “please continue to eat; I didn��t mean to ruin the atmosphere.”

“I’m going to gain so much weight, thanks to you.” She teased, “but I’m really full; I can’t even eat even if I want to.” She stares at him for a split second, “thank you for dinner; everything was delicious.”

“Thank you for joining us,” Toru smiles at his son, “even if this guy is rude and sleeps during dinner.”

He met her gaze, reading the curiosity in her eyes, and something within him shifted.

For the first time, Toru felt a sense of pride in sharing his and Mateo’s story. It was no longer a source of shame or regret but evidence of their resilience and the love they built together.

“Are you wondering where his mother is at?”

Y/n looked at Toru with a gentle and understanding expression. She wanted him to know that he had a safe space to share his story, but she also respected his boundaries and understood that some things might be challenging to discuss. With a soft smile, she reassured him, “only if you feel safe and comfortable sharing.”

Her words were warm and sincere, letting Toru know he had someone who genuinely cared about him and his experience. Toru felt a wave of gratitude wash over him, realizing he had found someone who could truly understand and accept him, flaws and all.

“Of course,” He adjusted Mateo in his arm, “I was in a long-term relationship with his mother, her name is Lucia, and she is a pretty well-known model in San Juan. We both agreed and understood that our main priority was our careers.” He glanced down and rubbed the cheek of his son. “Mateo was not in either of our plans, and it scared the shit out of me when Lucia told me she was pregnant. I had no time to think about it and had to decide either my career or my child quickly.”

Toru’s mind had been consumed by the thoughts of his future, torn between his passion for volleyball and the responsibility of becoming a father. He had spent countless nights wrestling with his desires and aspirations, questioning if he was still finding fulfillment in the sport that had once been his everything.

He prayed for a sign that indicated what path he should take. During this time of deep contemplation, he learned about the life growing inside of Lucia, and Toru couldn’t help but see it as a sign that he had been desperately seeking. In an instance, his priorities shifted, and he knew deep down that his child would always come first.

The thought of being a father and having a little person who would look up to and rely on him filled him with a sense of purpose and determination he had never experienced before.

He realized his love for volleyball would always be a part of him, but being a loving and dedicated father was the most important role he could ever play.

“I was ready to retire or take a long break from my career, but Lucia wasn’t on board; she was unequivocal that she didn’t want the pregnancy, and I convinced her not to terminate the pregnancy and that I’ll take full responsibility of him.”

He gazed up at Y/n, marveling at how her soft eyes still held the same affectionate gaze for him. He had grown accustomed to seeing the disappointment in people’s eyes so much that he had forgotten the warmth and comfort she brought into his life. Despite the disapproval from his closest friends and family, who believe it would be more convenient for both of them to end the pregnancy and avoid any commitments, he finds himself questioning their perspective.

But Toru was firm on his decision.

“For the entire pregnancy, she remained out of public eyes and out of work,” he opted out of disclosing how he had paid a hefty amount of money to support her lavish life during the nine months. Thankfully, Toru continued his career for another season and signed another contract with brand-name sponsorships. “I checked in with her daily to ensure the pregnancy was going well.” There were times Lucia wouldn’t respond to him, annoyed he was always bothering her when there was nothing new. “Mateo was born two weeks earlier but was the size of most newborns.”

Y/n asked, “Lucia didn’t want anything to do with you two?”

Toru shook his head, no longer sad when asked that question. “No, she didn’t want him from the beginning, and as soon as she could, she demanded a cesarean section to get him out of her.” He winced as he observed the heartbreak etched across her face. “Please don’t be sad,” he murmurs, trying to offer reassurance. Deep down, he believes this unexpected turn of events might be a disguised blessing. Though she chose not to be in the same room as Mateo after his birth, Toru felt a surge of determination as he cradled their child in his arms, making a silent vow that they would find a way to make things right.

“I’m proud of you, Toru.” Y/n quietly said with a heartfelt smile.

“Thank you for dinner and,” she lifted the bag in her hand, “sharing some of the leftovers.”

After their heart-to-heart talk, they realized it was close to 11 PM. Y/n began cleaning up as Toru went to set Mateo down for the night.

Toru rubs the back of his neck, “no, thank you for joining us,” and for everything.

Silence hung in the air to the unspoken words that lingered between them.

Her eyes locked onto his, filled with relief. “I want you to know that talking tonight has brought me so much comfort,” she confessed. As she moved to open the door, ready to leave, he called out her name, causing her to pause in her tracks.

Glancing back over her shoulders, she met his gaze and patiently awaited his words. Toru hesitated momentarily, holding his breath before he mustered a barely audible whisper, “can I… hug you?”

A flicker of surprise sparkled in her eyes, quickly replaced by a warm smile that reached her lips. Setting her bag down, she stepped forward, guided by an unspoken understanding. She nestled herself into his open embrace, her arms enveloping his waist tightly.

It lasted mere seconds, yet within that brief hug, it felt like they had encapsulated a lifetime of emotions, comfort, and understanding.

It was a simple act, but it held immense significance for two wounded souls searching for peace – a much-needed embrace for two broken people.

Y/n pulled away; her cheeks tinted pink as she rushed to grab her food and slip her shoes on. “I’ll s – see you around. Have a good night.” As she turned the doorknob to his unit, her movement abruptly stopped. Surprise ran through her veins as she looked at the towering figure standing before her unit, his gaze fixated directly on her. “Woojin?”

“What are you doing over there?” Woojin stepped forward and froze, narrowing his eyes.

“Do you know him?” Y/n looked over her shoulders, seeing Toru staring straight at Woojin.

The atmosphere is tense, and to add to that, she hears Mateo’s cry at a distance. “Go – I know him. He’s… a friend.”

Toru looks down at Y/n, “you sure?”

“Of course.” Swiftly, she placed a hand firmly against his chest, using her strength to push him back into his unit. With determination, she closed the door, creating a barrier between them. Turning her attention to Woojin, she gestures with a subtle nod, silently conveying her invitation for him to follow her into her unit.

. . .

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#haikyu x reader #haikyuu x y/n #haikyuu oikawa toru #haikyuu oikawa tooru #oikawa fluff #oikawa angst #oikawa x y/n #oikawa x reader #haikyuu angst #haikyuu scenarios

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anime-freek · 8 months

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shisnhou · 2 years

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MEMORIES.

pairing: oikawa tooru x gn! reader

genre: angst, heartbreak

cw: hints at a past toxic/unhealthy relationship, might contain errors

wc: tbc

an: i wrote this half asleep

you‘ve dreaded for this moment to come.

you‘ve tried to drag it out for as long as you possibly could have. but one can only do so much when something, had already been written down on your faith book. all that dodging goes down the drain when his brown eyes look you up and down while he stands by the door way.

"hey."

"oh,"

just by looking at him, you can feel all the memories hit you like a truck. all the things you‘ve done just to drag this moment for so long, falls straight to that hole, dragging you by your ankles.

"how‘re ya?" he smiles so sweetly as if he had not just broken your heart merely months ago, as if he hadn‘t ripped it into shreds right before your very eyes, speaking so casually as if he had not just left you there as a broken piece.

"what’re you doing here, oikawa?" you hate that you easily allowed him to walk into your life again just by ringing your doorbell. you hate how easy it is for him to walk back into your life and act so casually. you hate how easy it is for him to see your protective barriers dissolve into thin just because you saw him.

in short, you hate him.

"i just want to talk." oh, there he goes again, seducing you with his tongue as he did before. those words of his, they fall so easily from his lips. whether he knows it or not, it surely makes an impact on you. an impact you wish would not sway you.

"i don‘t want to. goodbye." is your stern reply before you shut the door out. there is no desire in you, nor does you brain allow you to talk to him. however your heart, it so deeply wants it, no matter how irrational it may seem.

and as if he had heard your heart‘s desire, he sets his foot between the frame and the shutter. his hand on the wooden door as he looks at you with his pleading brown eyes.

"please," he pleads. you hate it. "i‘ve— i‘ve got no one else to walk to. you‘re the only one i‘ve got left. i— i can‘t hold it in anymore."

you hate him.

you hate this situation.

you hate it all.

you hate it so much because you allow him to walk into your home with his face falling into the crook of his neck. you swallow thickly as you shut the door with your foot, feeling his tears fall unto your skin as his hands clutch your waist ever so tightly; like you‘d run away if he doesn‘t.

as you lead him to the kitchen with his sobs falling past his lips, you also feel your tears brim your eyes. all your efforts are gone, simple as that, within the blink of an eye, gone as if it had never existed in the first place. you tried so hard to move on. for months and months on end, actively distracting yourself so hard to get over him.

it was stupid of you to think you‘re actually over him when you know deep inside you‘d let him so easily walk back into your life like this.

"i can‘t do this anymore, (y/n)!" he cries. a bottle of wine in his hand as he curls himself on the corner. you wish to yell 'so can‘t i!' at him as well, but you can‘t. if you do so, you feel like you‘d break your fragile heart even more.

time passes just like that. and now it‘s quarter past three. you‘re intoxicated, and so is he. he‘s a sobbing mess, and you‘re no better.

"c— can‘t we just go back to the way it was? before.. before it was all so complicated..?" he cries, looking at you with pleading eyes. with those words, you only feel more tears bleed from your eyes as your skin grows warmer.

"tooru—" you stutter, clenching your fists as you wrap your hands around yourself. "we- we can‘t keep doing this, okay? i— i can‘t be your friend, we— i— we‘ve just gone through so much! and i feel that if we become friends again, it would just through away everything we had had. everything we kept so sacredly would be nothing."

"no! i— we can try again—!"

"no we can‘t!" you finally exclaim. fat tears are dripping harshly from your eyes as you put your hands on your head, clenching the roots of your hair tightly. "no matter how hard we fucking try it‘s never going to work out! the ending will always be the same because— for fuck sake— you and i were never meant to be in the first place!"

as much as it hurts you to say so, you have to say it. the truth hurts, and it always will.

"so please… don‘t make it harder than it already is. we can‘t keep doing this anymore, tooru." you mumble through your sobs and he looks at you with his tears already down his neck, flowing harshly like a river.

silence wallows you both. only the sounds of tears, sniffles, and sobs echo throughout the room. the smell of heartbreak reeks harshly in the air, evading the once cool air, causing it to go stuffy.

"i guess— i guess we‘re never going to be it, huh?" he bitterly says to himself, looking at the ground as he swallows hard. "there really is no going anywhere with what he had, right?" he grits through his teeth, looking up and swallowing as he holds back the sobs stuck in his throat.

"tell me, did me showing up ruin things for you?" it seems like he has become sober, as if all the alcohol he had downed went out of his body. "because when i came here, i couldn‘t get a grip on myself. i wanted to maybe see, see if you would still take me in. i wore the things you like so that i‘d make even the slightest appeal. but i guess— i guess it won‘t do shit." his voice falters with every line due to the emotions stuck on his throat.

you have no idea as to what you should say, because in truth, you‘re no better than he is. there is not a single bone in your body that‘s not telling you to run to back to him, but your mind seems to freeze your movements, saving you from the heartache.

"we- we never really went anywhere else, tooru." you shakily sigh, looking down at him as you bite your lower lip. "so, we shouldn‘t be eachother‘s reason as to why we can‘t fall in love with someone else."

you feel like dying as he nods, showing that he‘s agreeing. you don‘t want him to agree. no matter how much it hurt you and traumatized you to be with him, you can‘t just put him in the back of your head to be eventually forgotten.

"if— if this is then— let me— i—" he can‘t even comprehend a proper sentence. hands in his hair as he bawls his eyes out right there. you don‘t even notice it, when he runs up to you and hugs you so tightly. his hands are on your waist as he cries on to you, head above yours as he smells the familiar smell of your shampoo, hugging you tightly as he kisses your head. "i— i‘m sorry. we— i broke us off. i‘m sorry i broke your heart. but i can‘t let you go. my heart leads to you all the time, no matter where i am."

"tooru—"

"but if me clinging unto you will hurt you more, then so be it." he sadly whispers, giving you one last squeeze as he kisses your forehead lovingly, tears damping you up. "i won‘t drag this further. i‘ll set you free, set me in the past, and move on. i‘ll just take what i have left here so that you move on and forget about me."

you can‘t even respond, unable to move as he walks past you, straight to your room. it breaks your heart worse, hearing him rummage through the closet you both once shared. it‘d been left untouched, you left it be. maybe because a part of you really hoped to let him back in. yet it with the turn of events, it won‘t happen anymore.

you stand there for as long as he finishes. he finally has everything he owns. the book you both read, the stuffed toy of him that he gave you, his highschool jersey that you loved so much, the shoes he owns that matches with yours, and lastly, the photo album you had made for him.

"i— i‘ve got it all." he whispers, looking down as he clenches his full hands hard. "i‘m— going. i won‘t hurt you any longer." his eyes never failed to meet yours as he speaks and he doesn‘t dare take a step towards you, in fear that if he does, then maybe he won‘t be able to leave after all.

"so maybe, this is goodbye." he chuckles grimly with a forced smile, yet you cannot seem to return to him. not the chuckle. not the bitter smile. yet instead, the goodbye.

as the old saying goes, saying goodbye entails that you‘ll never see them ever again. you can‘t even bring yourself to speak as he walks away with a heavy heart, sobbing quietly before the door closes so loudly yet so quietly behind him. silence envelopes you as you fall to the ground before loud wails of heartbreak come from you.

now that he‘s gone, said his goodbye, he‘s no longer coming back, and now you‘ll be forced to let him stay merely in your memories.

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