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#had to use it on an art project for school and !!! omg its so fun
haruhikage · 2 years
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im so sorry to watercolor that i doubted you, you're now my second favorite medium
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blxetsi · 3 years
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Hello! I love your blog and writing so much! May I please request modern au dating hcs for Mikasa?
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tysm for requesting ilysm 🙈💥
i also went a bit overboard i hope thats okay !!
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modern mikasa ackerman dating headcanons
lowercase intended !
college!mikasa ackerman x gn!reader
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- eren finds out abt her crush on you. idc idc
- mf may be dense sometimes but he isnt stupid, he KNOWS what mikasa acts like when shes in the presence of her crush,, he would know bc he was one ;)
- anyways, maybe your like, going up to ask mikasa for her notes from last class, or just chatting with them to be friendly
- either way mikasa goes from 😳 to 😐 real quick
- shes very quiet which youre used to so you dont really think too long abt her lack of communication. its literally just you and eren talking at this point
- after you leave to,,, idk sit under a tree ?? erens immediately turning to mikasa being like "okay tell me everything"
- she denies the crush on u 😔💔
- but then eren tells armin.
- and eren has a big mouth so who knows who else he told ??
- so finally, after beating up eren for spilling the beans she tells her two closest friends EVERYTHING
- like from how nice your hair smells to how pretty she finds your eyes. how she loves your sense of style. she just likes everything about you
- erens like "i mean yeah theyre rlly cute but like,,, what do you like about them that isnt physical 😐"
- mikasa starts blushing HARD. and slowly goes to her bedroom in their shared apartment, before slinking back out holding a crinkly folded piece of paper.
- its something you wrote and it says "thanks for studying with me mikasa !! let me treat you to boba as a thanks. youre so sweet, ill see you next class babie"
- erens looking at the note like 😐 mf is this it ??
- armins flipping it back and forth and reading it over and over again
- mikasa just says "theyre kind to everyone. and theyre funny. i just like them a lot."
- erens like 🙄 k but armins all for it
- then they start coming up with a plan to get you to like mikasa back (even though mikasa doesnt want that)
- erens an asshole and says "mikasa i love you and you will always be my number one, HOWEVER. they might just see you as a friend, OR WORSE. an aquaintance. we gotta make u so cool that youre irresistable"
- now mikasa is a bit worried
- HOWEVER. what none of those idiots know is that YOU have had a fat crush on mikasa since you asked her for a pencil at the beginning of the semester 😍 she stared at u like 😐✏️ and u were like "omg thanks 😊" w a little blush on ur cheeks bc mikasa's hot
- i mean,, if you didnt like mikasa WHY would you have invited her out for boba ?? one, who doesnt like boba ?? and two,, doesnt that count as a date ? u didnt know but u just wanted to like ✨subtly✨ shoot your shot
- but that was almost a month ago and she hasnt said yes. so you assume she didnt wanna go
- a few days go by after mikasa tells her friends all about her crush. and like,,, they do nothing ?? what happened to the big plan of making mikasa seem like the coolest person around ?
- it turns out eren doesnt know enough about you to know what you like. and ur dumbass friends aint help either.
- so one day he finds you and mikasa coming out of your shared class, your talking about something and mikasa is just nodding with a blush on her cheeks.
- he runs up to both of you before saying "hey just to let you know mikasa has a big crush on you. and she'd love to go get boba with you 😁👍"
- mikasa gets so red in the face and starts smacking him with her binder. you couldnt stop it even if you tried
- after literally YELLING at them for their attention you just turn to mikasa like "please get boba with me 🥺" and she cant resist
- and then the rest is history 😌✨
- after the boba date you learned so much about her and vice versa. you guys were like,, closer than ever. always going to her apartment or her coming to your dorm
- you guys would have sleepovers very frequently. nothing ever happens but you two like being so close with each other
- and you guys do a lot together when you arent busy with school or work or friends
- mikasa takes you to cool museums and art galleries
- you take her to cool shops downtown and parks
- its so fun
- but you cant help but wonder if youre dating or not ?? like do you have the right to call mikasa your gf ?? you guys havent kissed on the lips but she always kisses your head when you cuddle, and you always take each other out on dates
- on the day you finally bring it up during one of your sleepovers. shes on her back and youre almost on top of her with your arms around her shoulders and your face smushed into her chest
- u just kinda mumble "are you my girlfriend ?"
- and its SILENT.
- u start freaking out bc "omg she doesnt like me 😁👍 im gonna cry"
- until she just quietly says. "yes."
- OFNWIDNKWSMWKKWKALSMQLSME
- ur gonna marry this girl 😐
- her love language ?? definitely acts of service. idc idc.
- when u sleep over shes making you tea without u asking. (u said u liked lavender tea ONCE and this bith got a whole container 😭😭)
- when you have movie nights with her, eren, and armin she always chooses a movie you like ("no we arent watching the florida project again armin cried last time" "yeah but y/n loves it so" "this feels like oppression mikasa" "okay and ?")
- is also very protective. she hears mfs in the halls talking shit about you ?? shes shutting them up with her glare
- also u know how isayama made her goth in his like, highschool thingy ?? yeah 😍
- #gothmikasasupremacy
- she makes her eyeliner and shadow messy on purpose.
- you love just laying her down on her bed and straddling her, just leaning over and doing her makeup for her (jules and anna tease 🙈✨)
- sometimes you guys go to thrift stores and pick out outfits for each other
- one time you found this GORGEOUS floral sundress and she physically shivered from the thought of wearing
- tried it on and looked SO BEAUTIFUL, but it wasnt her style 😐
- also doesnt tell her parents about you ?? not bc shes embarassed or anything but just because she knows her dad is gonna be like "who are they ? what are they like ? where do they live ? whats their major ? where are they from ? whats their zodiac sign ?"
- he doesnt do it to play the "overprotective dad" role but because hes genuinely curious and excited
- she brings you home for the first time and youre so surprised because this tall blond man is her FATHER ?? she looks so much like her mom though its not even funny
- for dinner her mom and dad made traditional japanese food 😭😭 it was so good omfg
- also this has nothing to do with dating headcanons but mikasa used to live off of lunchables as a kid. was literally addicted to the rubber like ham 😍
- her mom is so sweet, and she shows you all of the stuff she's embroidered all these years
- her dad is so extroverted, he loves telling dad jokes. you find them HILARIOUS but mikasa sits there like 😐👍
- he DEMANDS you guys play scrabble. he says it help him figure out who you are as a person. now youre scared 😁👍
- anyways
- you love giving her little kisses on her lips because one, you get some of her moisturizing lip gloss on your lips and two, she blushes SO HARD
- one time you two were on a date and you ran into her ex. whos literally so scary
- her name is annie and shes blonde and muscular and rlly hot but has that same blank stare as mikasa
- you feel kinda weird bc how did she go from being with ANNIE to you ??
- you ask her abt it and shes like "oh yeah we dated in our last year of high school. im much happier with you" and now youre feeling all giggly and happy bc mikasa doesnt lie 😭😭
- u roll around on her bed with your cheeks squished together to hide your blush bc you feel so good that she said that
- she just rolls her eyes before getting on top of you and taking your hands away from your face
- she gives u kisses all over before putting the final one on your lips. its such a soft and sweet moment with just the two of you, you cant help but confirm what youve already thought:
youre gonna marry her one day.
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a/n
i REAAALLLLYYYY enjoyed making this oml. i hope u all enjoyed this !! remember: requests r open for anything aot OR u can give me ideas for other fandoms to write for
kk goodbye friends 🤩🤩🤩
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jaywritesfics · 3 years
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Since requests are open could I get platonic c!Tommy x female! reader?
Okay, so reader is almost perfect Technoblade copy. She is god at PvP, genius tactician and can build very well.
She never settles down, or at least it seems like it. She has a base far in the nether, hidden from everyone but not many know that. To people it seems like she is always on her way, gathering resources and training, always on the move.
One day, she saves smol (like 9-13 year old Tommy) from mobs and decides to help him with training (reader is already an adult). They form a parent-child bond and reader becomes this mother figure to him. However, reader after some time wants to leave, and does so, some time before events of the smp starts. She was kind of controlling the whole situation, as in as long as she was there she was the mediator for everyone, basically unofficial ruler of the server. The moment she disappeared, everything crumbled.
So, time skip to Tommy's exile when his mental and physical health is declining, reader returns from her adventures and stumbles upon him. She is angered at what had happened and after taking care of him and making sure to bring him to the normal state, she goes straight to the cities to bring back balance by kicking some ass.
I'm leaving ending up to you, hopefully it won't be this complicated
Good luck ❤️❤️❤️
OMG I LOVE THIS!!! I’m sorry if this seems a bit rushed... (Because it was...) I really wanted to get this done before the school week because I have so much stuff to do. I will make a second part since this was kinda short and not the entire story I had planned. I will try to get the second part out as soon as I can but for now I hope you enjoy this! I hope I did your request justice!
|Burning Pile |Part.1| Platonic c!Tommy x Reader|
Warnings?: Swearing, Angst, and mentions of suicide.
Request?: Yes!  Thanks lukerycyja for the request!
Pronouns?: None used but female reader implied. Also sorry if this isn’t completely accurate to the canon smp storylie its been so long since I’ve watched any of Tommyinnits Lore streams due to school work, so please cut me slack if I messed up on any of that stuff...0-0 
Extra notes?: Part two is on it’s way soon!
“Shit…” You’ve been traveling the surface for hours and you just now realized you forgot your axe at your base. You groan in annoyance and find a nearby tree and sit down to relax because your feet had started to hurt and you open your bag and take out some apples to eat. You usually come to the surface every other month for food and resources, as you live in the nether and it doesn’t have cows and pigs… Well unless you can call those Piglin actual pigs.
“Okay,” You begin to say to yourself, 
“I forgot my axe and now I have to go all the way back to my portal…*sigh*, why do I do this to myself?” You take a bite of your apple and you just sit and take in the scenery. When you spot a couple of tree stumps and a wood wall not too far away from where your sat.
 “Oh shit.” You say aloud, dropping your apple. You hear the sound of humming coming from behind the wall and you stand up to hurry and get out of there…You never interact with anyone… your by yourself all the time... You used to have company though. A little boy you saved so many years ago. Tommy. His name was Tommy. You basically raised him for years… He was like a son to you. You trained him to fight and fend for himself when he eventually grew up and didn’t need you anymore. You haven’t seen him since you decided to leave. Why did you leave? You can’t quite remember. You hear a voice coming from behind the wall… it sounds so familiar. You near the wall and you place an ear against it to listen in on whoever is behind it. 
“Why Tubbo? Why. Why? Why?” The voice sounds even more familiar than before, Is it who you think it is? If so, who's Tubbo? Maybe it’s not him… It couldn’t be… You walk around and spot an opening and you peer around the corner. You see the backside of the person. Short yet untamed blonde hair, Red and white tore shirt and ripped tan pants. It’s him… It has to be… You step inside the structure, tears rolling down your face. 
“Tommy?” You say in a shaky voice. He turns around eyes wide. He has bags under his eyes, and the once light blue color has faded to blue-tinted grey. He stares at you and his jaw drops. A single tear falls from his eye then he shuts his mouth and turns away covering his ears with his hands.
“Dream whatever sick game you're playing I’m not falling for it! One of these days so help me I’ll kill you!”  Dream? Who is… Shit, You’ve been gone so long you can’t seem to remember a single damn other person. 
“Tommy, I don’t know who Dream is but… it’s me… Y/n… I- I’m sorry for leaving I just…”
“Just stop!” He throws a sword at your head but it just misses you and hits the wall beside you. 
“Now come on I taught you better than that…” You say to him, walking up to him and kneeling down to look him in the eyes. 
“It’s really me Tommy-” You try to finish your sentence but he already has his arms wrapped around you. You can feel teardrops falling on your shoulders and you can’t help but start crying too.
“Y/n… I missed you! Why did you have to leave! You bitch!” He hugs you tighter as he speaks, more tears rolling down his face.
“I’m sorry Tommy I just… I don’t remember… and- I- I’m sorry…” Your makeshift “family reunion” is interrupted by an arrow flying past both your heads. You stand up and turn around to see a tall man in a green hoodie with a mask with some silly face on it. It must be that Dream guy Tommy was talking about. 
“Who the fuck are you bitch?” He says pointing his crossbow at you. 
“What did you just call me? Also, a 5-year-old called, he wants his arts and crafts project back.” You say, he tenses up and takes a step forward.
“Leave now or I’ll put an arrow in your head, bitch.” He adjusts his crossbow and you reach for the bow and arrow on your back and in an instant you fire an arrow at him, piercing his arm. 
“Now I could have put it through your head but I like to look my victims in the eyes when I kill them… it's more fun that way.” You tell him with a huge grin on your face. He drops his crossbow and pulls the arrow out of his arm and takes an ender pearl out of his pocket and throws it in the distance and he disappears within seconds. You look behind you to see Tommy shocked and crying. You kneel down, pick him up and start walking him over to what seems to be his bed. You set him down and give him one of the apples in your bag. 
“Are you okay Tommy? You don’t seem well.” You tell him, wiping the tears from his eyes. 
“I’m- I’m fine-” He tries to get his words out but he passes out and you quickly pick him up and hold him in your arms. You can still feel him breathing so you don’t worry too much, but you also can’t help but cry. You lay him down and you put his blanket over him. You decide that he probably is just stressed out and needs sleep so you let him rest. You take this time to hunt down some cows and pigs for food. You walk around paranoid that Dream might come back and try to hurt you or Tommy. You bag about 2 cows and 4 pigs and just as you return from hunting you see Tommy sitting on the bed with his face buried in his hands. You drop your kills and you walk over to sit down on the bed beside him. 
“You feel a bit better? If so then I gotta ask you… What are you doing alone out here all by yourself? You’re only like what, 16 at most? When I left, you had friends and other allies… how did you end up all alone?” You question him, he looks at you angered,
“How did I end up alone? How did I fucking end up alone?” He then stands up and starts to yell at you,
“You fucking left me! You left me with nothing but a couple of years of bloody sword training and the mentality of a soldier! I thought you actually cared for me like a son… But no, you just saw me as another helpless little boy who needed your guidance… Well, I don’t need your help! I can’t be helped! I’m the one who got exiled. I’m the one whose friends betrayed him!” His voice goes from a yell to a soft stern voice.
“I tried to build a nation… It was amazing... but I fail at everything. It crumbled...I should have never even tried… I should have offed myself when I had the chance…” He’s on the floor on his knees, sobbing with his head in his hands again. You stand up from the bed and kneel down to hug him. 
“Tommy… I’m so sorry that that’s how you felt about it… I had no idea how I really affected you… Tommy… I- I’m so sorry… I do love you like a son Tommy... And you’re the best son anyone could ask for… your not a failure, you deserve to live… but may I ask…”
You release him from the hug and look at him in the eyes,
“What do you mean by exiled?” (you decide to skip over the whole “build a nation” part, because you really aren’t surprised by it.) 
“Tubbo- I mean Dream. Well… They banished me from L’manberg they banished me from my home!  They banished me here to live on my own… I have nothing…”
“You don’t have nothing… You have me. I’ll help you, Tommy.” Your blood boils. They banished Tommy... Why? You don’t care… either way, you’re going to kill them… Whoever this Tubbo guy is… Your gonna kill him and Dream. You stand up and bring Tommy to his feet and wipe away his tears. 
“Go practice your sword throwing Tommy, I’ll make us some dinner.” You say as you walk over to the sword he had previously attempted to throw at you and take it out the wall.
“Hey, my sword throwing is great!” 
“Heh.. sure.” You hand him his sword and he groans jokingly and he walks outside and starts throwing his sword at some tree. You chuckle at the sight and you start to prepare your guy’s meal. You also grab your own sword and examine it. You sigh,
“Those bitches are gonna get what’s coming to them…” You whisper to yourself under your breath.
“Hey y/n! I hit my target!” Tommy yells to you.
“Good Tommy! I’m proud of you…”
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TINSITOGS, a retrospective (happy birthday)
(yes I’m like two days too late I know I’m sorry) 
Why hello followers and ass class fandom, nice to see you there. I’m sure MOST people know about this, but in case you don’t, hi. On AO3 I’m better known as livixbobbiex, writer of maybe one of the most infamous Assassination Classroom fics. 
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Which I mean like, if you haven’t read it yet you totally should it’s fanlore at this point I promise- 
Shameless plug that I don’t need aside, I felt that, on its first birthday since actual completion, I just wanted to share some things about it. Some tit bits about writing it, fun facts, maybe even some author advice TM. I appreciate that it’ll be super annoying if I do that in the tags, though, so that’ll all be under the cut. If you don’t want to read the whole post, then no matter what, thanks for the support in general! 
I also want to take the opportunity to announce that I’ve reopened my discord, so if you want to talk about my fics with me (and others), you’re more than welcome to join! (the link is here) 
The origin story 
I’ve stated this many times, I think, but TINSITOGS was never supposed to be a serious story. Taking you back, quite a long time, it actually started in a facebook DM with a friend. We used to come up with “head canons” with each other, which were basically just very condensed fanfiction plots over a multitude of text messages. I believe I was trying to cheer her up, and I tried to come up with some kind of plot line. 
At the time, I was fairly fresh to the Ass Class fandom, and I was joking about how there were no teen pregnancy melodrama fanfictions. It wasn’t that I wanted one, I just thought it was strange for a school centric anime with a bunch of ships to NOT have one. And, back then, I only really cared about karmagisa. So I just decided ‘right it’s happening’. The reason I decided to make it ABO was due to ‘it making sense’. Fun fact: it was almost written as AFAB trans Nagisa, but I decided against it as I didn’t rate my ability to handle it well back then. Looking back on it, I’m glad I made that decision. 
Over around two months, writing out the plot of this story took over my life a little bit. I had no idea where I was going with it, but I was having so much fun with the drama that I decided that Karma and Nagisa shouldn’t get together soon at all, and I had a lot of fun teasing my friend with the ‘will they won’t they’. It was only when I got bored that I invented this intense drama plotline to finish it all off. 
That period of time was a lot of fun. And whilst that friendship didn’t end well, I still have a lot to thank her for. She chose Daichi’s name because I had no idea, and she wanted to annoy me because I didn’t like Haikyuu. When I couldn’t decide on his hair colour, the purple was her suggestion because ‘why logic?’ Daichi speaking Korean was because of how much she liked Kpop. She even helped me choose the title of the actual fic, so there’s a lot you can thank her for, honestly. 
After I finished that story, though, I couldn’t stop thinking about it. Whenever I daydreamed, I used to think about that damn Daichi Akabane, and how much I wanted to tell his story. I’d even come up with extra stuff to fill in a lot of the gaps, and developed his character in my mind. I decided that I was really desperate to write it down. Usually that worked when I had an idea I wanted to work through. 
I wrote the first chapter in late 2017, and then the next two as well. I just, kept going, and realised that I could go further still. TINSITOGS was never something that was supposed to be shared, but I decided I may as well. After all, that fated ‘teen pregnancy drama’ fic still didn’t exist, and I thought it would be funny to make it happen. 
Yes, as I’ve stated publicly a few times, TINSITOGS was a crack fic. If I wanted attention from it, it was infamy. We even joked about me cursing the fandom if it ever became the most popular fic (whoops?). What I wasn’t expecting was a bunch of people, in a fandom where at the time there were NO ongoing karmagisa fics and it was pretty dead, to really seem to enjoy it. It was enough to have me keep writing it, at least. I still don’t know at what point I actually started taking it seriously, but somehow I did, and the rest is history? 
The reception 
In my wildest dreams, I never thought that I would be the author of one of the most popular fics in the fandom. To this day, the amount of views TINSITOGS has is insanity to me. For the record, across all platforms it’s on today it has 238,000, which is literally a number I can’t even visualise anymore. Almost quarter of a MILLION. To this day on AO3, it’s the most viewed Ass Class fic that’s an ACTUAL ass class fic (the others are multi fandom compilations). So yeah, I achieved the original goal, I guess? 
Now you might be wondering, “omg the karmagisa fandom is fujoshi trash”. And, considering the origins, it is kind of funny. The thing is, though, TINSITOGS was written at incredibly good time. It was written when there were, essentially, very few long form Karma/Nagisa stories. If any other fics did get posted on occasion, they were usually just oneshots. I was also, at that point, writing very fast. A symptom of ADHD is becoming obsessively productive over certain things. Since I was able to get a 3k chapter out every few days/once a week, TINSITOGS was consistently bumped to the top of AO3′s default view. And some of those first few chapters were altered canon, and transcribing the canon dialogue didn’t take very long. The more views it got, the more people would read it out of sheer curiosity. 
I think it also helps that, at least after it started getting some positive feedback (which was honestly after the pre written chapters), I purposely tried to make it ‘not terrible’. I mean, I personally think the first chapter is pretty weak and if it wasn’t somewhat iconic to a lot of people I’d rewrite it. But in general, I purposely tried to make the world of ABO my own, to make it more accessible to those who don’t like that genre, and stay away from the inherently grosser stuff as much as possible. I genuinely do get comments about how I introduced people to the genre as a whole, still not sure if that’s a GOOD thing but hey, it happened. 
TINSITOGS turned into a lot more than just a joke. It turned into my favourite hobby. It turned into a research project (honestly, you would not believe the amount of mummy vlogs and legit scientific articles about child development I consumed). It turned into something that, at least I believe, was widely loved. 
Meaning 
I think it might be wrong to say that I don’t have AN idea of when I started to take the fic super seriously. For me, it was around the time someone commented something along the lines of saying my writing meant a lot to them, that they’d spent all night reading it and had been unable to put it down. 
Not to get too dark here, but I do have a past in writing a very long, somewhat popular fic (it’s still on my fanfic net profile if anyone’s interested, but I don’t recommend it). However, in the latter part of my teenage years, the depression struck. Writing was the love of my life, and I couldn’t bring myself to do it anymore. Maybe I’d be able to muster an idea or even a chapter at the best points of that, but I’d never completely finished any story. Starting to write again was a huge step in my recovery, and one of the reasons I convinced myself that life was worth it was being able to impact someone’s life somehow. Even to this day, I still remember the fics I read when I was, like, thirteen. How much I still remember them, and how much they meant to be at the time. I wanted to be that writer for someone else. To be honest, it was actually Yuri!!! On Ice that got me out of the super bad, but I still never wrote anything of real consequence. TINSITOGS was the first time in a long time I actually committed to something. 
And, to be completely honest, there were a lot of times I was tired of it, and wanted to just quit. But, the thing was, I felt like people depended on me in a way. I got so many comments that were just FILLED with support, telling me how much they looked forward to every update. It wasn’t just empty words, either, a lot of the times these comments would be super engaged with the actual writing. I can’t even describe just how much they meant to me, how much I would look forward to reading everyone’s opinions. And then discord happened, which was a lot of fun. 
TINSITOGS went a lot further than I ever thought it would. There were comments, discussions, fan art, fan FIC (which is honestly incredible to me). Someone even added it to TV Tropes, at one point. Not to mention the Cards Against Humanity deck and quiz It makes me so unbelievably happy that I could inspire that much creativity, but it’s a two way street. It was all of that which inspired me to write, too. 
Writing 
The only real goal I actually had was aiming for around 3000 words per chapter. I had a whole facebook log of plot points as planning, and I was mostly just trying to expand on them into prose. I honestly thought that, at its completion, the entire fic would be around 100k words, if that. Not, at one point, being literally the longest ass class fic on AO3. 
There are a lot of aspects that were directly adapted from the original messages, and I tried to stay faithful to it more so at first, even if I later removed some of the pure crack. But the style was also vaguely similar, with the story being told mostly from Nagisa’s perspective with swaps to Karma when it made sense. All the main plot beats, too, are pretty much identical. The plus to this was I was able to add a lot of really fun foreshadowing, and I feel like it’s a fun reread because of it. 
Honestly though, if there’s a demand to release those OG message logs, I will. Mostly because it’s kind of funny, and interesting to see. Isogai and Nagisa were engaged at one point, even. 
Obviously, it changed somewhat. 3000 was the minimum length, and the time to completion was whenever it felt right. One of my big concerns was about pacing, so it took a lot more fleshing out and maybe ‘filler’ content for some of the main arcs to work. 
There’s parts of TINSITOGS I don’t think aren’t written that well, and some that I’m still super proud of. I think you can definitely tell there’s a gradual shift in style, and I get a lot more comfortable with writing them as characters as it goes along. To be honest, my pride for the fic overall is what it represents. 
It is funny to think about the places it got written in, though. I started it when I worked at McDonalds with no life direction, then it went through my first year of university with me. It’s been written in at least four countries. Aeroplanes, night clubs, long haul buses, a train through the Japanese southern coastline. Even the start of covid. TINSITOGS managed to see a lot. I even turned a scene in (the boat scene during the India chapter with altered names) to my university as a legitimate assignment. 
There were also a few messages I wanted to achieve, once I realised I had the platform to put them across. One of them was, obviously, ‘use protection kids’. It was important to me that I didn’t glamorise it too much, and I think that came across. I also wanted to dispute some of the issues with ABO, and subvert the consent issues as much as I could. An arc I really ‘liked’ writing was how abuse doesn’t always look the same way, and that it can be a drawn out change in behaviour. How the most important part of ‘being a good parent’ isn’t perfection, but genuinely loving and doing the best you can for your kid. How love doesn’t solve everything, and effective communication can take a very long time to learn and build a functional relationship. I mean, there definitely was a lot I tried to put in, and you’re free to interpret it all how you want. But, I like to think some people learnt some of these things, at least. 
Daichi 
Honestly, Daichi developed almost of his own free will. I had a good idea of his appearance, and that he was smart. Writing him from birth until around nine years old (older if you read the sequel fic) pretty much allowed that fluidity. It was really fun to explore a nature vs nurture development, and let his own characteristics speak for themselves. 
He’ll always have a special place in my heart. 
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This is the first image I ever made. When I was trying to figure out what Daichi looked like, I honestly just edited Karma’s hair (pretty well, actually? I’m impressed with my past skill). That’s where the ‘he looks just like Karma’ meme kind of came from. 
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This was the first image I actually created of Daichi. I THINK it was on rinmaru games mega anime creator or something, but it’s literally not available on the internet anymore as far as I can tell, so I can’t double check. This was in the pre-piccrew days. His eyes are closed because they didn’t have the right tone of goldish/silver.  
His sister, Kaguya, didn’t even exist originally, even though I decided on that ending pretty early on. Actually, she was going to be called ‘Irina’ due to some hijinks. Initially, when Karma found out about Irina’s pregnancy, she was going to get super emotional and mad at him and basically force him to name his first born daughter after her. Karma agreed to shut her up, never intending to have another child, so when the surprise second child later came along they had to live with the pain. However, to be honest I just forgot to write in the actual scene that set it all up, and I decided against adding it anywhere else. The name Kaguya was a very last minute decision, and it was a chance for me to explore some ideas that didn’t fit with Daichi’s character. 
Interestingly too, Daichi and Nao were never intended to be a thing. I only decided that towards the VERY end. Even though the reason I named Nao that was because of a ship I had in a J Drama (Good Morning Call). It just kind of ended up happening because I won myself over with imagining the cute. 
The music 
I used to write with a lot of background music, though not all the time. Particularly towards the start, there was a lot that didn’t really make sense thematically, yet I would write to a lot. 
Here’s a link to the spotify playlist if you want it it’s basically all the ones I noted I’d listened to a lot. Not including the smut ones, though, I have a whole playlist for that. 
Some of the notable ones: 
Five String Serenade - the first scene I wrote of the entire fic, in Chapter 25 New Year Time where they fell asleep cuddling. 
Cosmic Love - when I wrote Nagisa’s love confession scene in hospital (I also wrote this pretty early on) 
Northern Downpour (though it was actually a cover by Emma Blackery) - The chapter after Daichi’s born (30) 
When The Party’s Over -  Confession Time Third Period, Chapter 69. I literally listened to this song on REPEAT when I planned and wrote the kind of ‘break up’ scene, and it’s one of the few parts that made me cry writing. 
Turning Page - I know I said no smut, but this song actually gave me the idea to have the “I love you” in chapter 108 be less on a whim and actually more built up. In the original plan, Karma really did just say it without thinking. I’m glad I changed that.  
Bury Me Low and Numb - pretty much all I listened to when writing the last few chapters, because Evil Nagisa core. So much so that Bury Me Low was in my top 2020 songs rewind. 
As for the title, there’s actually quite a funny story. I had no idea what to call the fic, and when that happens I usually just try and find some song lyrics. I really wanted to use something from ‘October’ by the Broken Bells. Not only because it’s my favourite song (has been for years), but thematically it really worked. The issue was, it worked as the WHOLE song, there were no individual lyrics that captured everything. And, if they did, they didn’t flow very well. And naming the fic ‘October’ would have been weird for a lot of reasons. There Is No Sweeter Innocence That Our Gentle Sin really was just plucked randomly, in a desperate search to find any snappy lyrics from any song that had some kind of meaning. After a bit of discussion, we settled that it kind of worked... if Daichi is innocent and they committed a sin or something. It also wasn’t the most obvious lyric from the song (Take Me To Church if anyone doesn’t know) so I just went with it. It works out, I think, because TINSITOGS turned out to be a pretty good acronym and pronounceable word in its own right. 
The merch  redbubble drama 
It’s a well known fact that I’m not very good at art. However, I decided to try pixel art because it seemed the easiest to not mess up. I made Karma and Nagisa, before deciding to also give Daichi a try. 
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This, to this day, is the only good quality art of Daichi that I actually own. The only one I’m actually happy sharing and thinking it doesn’t look terrible. As much as I love people sending me fanart, it’s not ‘my property’, right. 
So, I was kind of joking about TINSITOGS having merchandise. At first I just made two funny quote things, and uploaded it to redbubble. I was never intending to actually make money from this, and I’d agreed to myself that if I did, I would just donate it to charity. I was joking with the quotes, but since I had this artwork I figured I may as well uploaded. Separately, there was also an image that had pixel Daichi next to pixel Nagisa and Karma (which I also created). 
Aside from showing up in a few people’s adverts across the internet, there was no real harm with this. In fact, I didn’t make money anyway. It was just... more the joke of it existing. I did, however, buy myself a Daichi phone case, which is one of my favourite possessions. 
The funny ‘drama’ comes in when they got taken down due to copywrite. Sure, the one with Nagisa and Karma, I understand. But the other three literally had no mention or anything to do with Assassination Classroom, aside from being from a fanfiction. So basically, someone who owns those rights claimed my OC as theirs. Which makes Daichi canon? Whatever the case, I found this hilarious don’t worry. 
How has TINSITOGS changed my life? 
This is quite a strange thing to think about. Because, in a lot of ways, it really hasn’t. As I’m sure a lot of people know, I don’t really consider myself to have any real ‘fame’, despite the impressive numbers. Whenever I tell people in my personal life, they seem to think I’m some sort of internet celebrity, but that’s never been the case for me. I mean, it’s hardly a cultural phenomenon. 
In a lot of ways, I’d much rather befriend someone than have them admire me. Possibly because being someone’s inspiration is kind of weird... I’m just an awkward duck who likes to write after all. I don’t mind it, though. I genuinely find it an honour, even if I don’t necessarily agree. I also want to take this time to say that if anyone ever wants to talk or message me, you’re more than free to do so. I’m usually super casual with people who do that, I promise. 
TINSITOGS was the first story I ever finished in the way I truly wanted to. Start to end, a full narrative. And it took a LOT. There were so many times I almost felt like quitting, or took super long breaks. For me, ADHD queen, actually finishing something was a huge deal. And I know I wouldn’t have done it if I didn’t owe it to everyone who read it, and myself, to see it through. You know like, if I were to die tomorrow, at least I’ve left something behind. 
In a lot of ways, it’s changed me for the better. It’s helped me develop my writing styles, and way of thinking. It encouraged me to become more active in the fandom, and develop some important friendships. I always feel like my Tumblr and Fanfiction ‘known’ factor is separate. I think most of my Tumblr following is more to do with my theories/Japanese context research if anything, for example, but I know I wouldn’t be so interested in that if TINSITOGS hadn’t lead me to deeply examine character and really look into analysing source material for clues. I also think there’s just... a lot of myself in it. 
I was 17 years old, when I first came up with the idea. I finished the story when I was 20. Now, at the time of writing, I’m 21. That time has seen some pretty significant changes - just in general life facts and my own personal human development. For me at least, a lot of that was pretty turbulent, and TINSITOGS stands as a time capsule for that, in a way. 
I know I gained a lot of confidence, and it affirmed to me that writing is what I love. Telling stories and sharing them is what I love. 
Conclusion
Do I think TINSITOGS is an outstanding piece of writing, or the best fic ever? No. I really don’t. It’s strange to say because I definitely spent a lot of time on it, but it’s not like I put my full unbridled efforts into the story. I don’t fully plan, use a beta, or even read through on my own. And that’s okay - that’s not what I write fanfiction for. Fanfiction is my place to have fun with characters and stories I like, without the pressures of having to stand on my own complete originality. Yes, I’m fully confident that I can write at a “higher quality”, if I really wanted to. I’m also aware that some authors put their full effort into their fics, and that’s just as valid! 
It feels odd to say this about my own writing, but I honestly think there’s just something in this story. It might not be written in the best prose ever, and the premise might be kind of dumb for a lot of people. But, I think, there’s some part of this fic that managed to grab people. Somehow, at some point, many readers get captured into the emotions and so drawn in that ‘they just have to finish it now!’ Again, I’m not sure myself how I actually achieved that. Of course, that won’t apply to everyone, but I do feel there’s some truth in it. And it makes me happy, to have caused that. 
If TINSITOGS is your favourite fic, or if you genuinely think it’s the best story you’ve read, then thank you. I really appreciate your support, and I’m happy to have been a part of your life, I guess. I know how much fanfics can mean to a person, and that’s why I’m not going to take it down, or edit it at all. And it’s fine too, if you loved the fic for a while and moved on -i t happens. Whatever the case, I’m very honoured to have been able to occupy a moment of your life. Or if you find this fic in 10 years time, even, I still wholly appreciate you. 
This story was incredibly important to me, and thank you for reading if it was ever important to you too. 
You may ask, what now? Well, this is only intended to be a detailed look back for whoever’s interested, and it’s likely the only one I’ll actually do, a year after completion. Of course, if you ever want to ask me anything or just discuss the story, you’re honestly good to contact me in whatever way I have available. 
I’m still writing my ongoing stories, of course, despite taking a small break due to the university work load. I fully intend to complete the stories I’ve already started to tell, at least. After that... I’m not sure if I’ll still write fanfiction. Don’t panic, this isn’t a ‘I’m quitting writing’ thing. I may, however, have bled the Karmagisa genre a bit too dry at that point. Who knows? I am pretty interested in writing something original for once, so maybe that’ll work out. 
For now, at least, thank you to anyone who read this fic. To anyone who commented, liked, or interacted with me over it. To anyone who created or learnt from it. I’m really glad that I got to share this story with you all, and ultimately left some kind of mark, no matter how big or small. 
Happy birthday, TINSITOGS. I had a lot of fun writing you. 
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tatiejosie · 4 years
Note
I love your art style and it's not really a request cause idk if you take requests but I just thought toshiaki and nassor having (their respective traditional) teas together would be cute! Just an idea if you like :-) have fun anyway
omg YES!! Send me Frankenweenie requests I love it!!!!! Also I had to go over-the-top with this adorable tea idea,,,
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🤍 🍵 First one to invite the other for tea would be Toshiaki! He was kind of homesick when he first arrived in New Holland so his parents got him his smol personal kotatsu uwu After some tea-talk at school (how every other kids’ parents tend to go for coffee), Toshiaki took advantage of a work project to invite Nassor for some of his own traditional tea. He pulled out the best matcha powder they had, knowing that he wouldn’t get judged or have to brush off any insensitive remarks about acting like “he’s in his country”. Despite Nassor having no knowledge of kotatsu etiquette (fold your damn legs), he feels somewhat special for being welcomed into such a personal side of Toshiaki’s identity. The tea is soft but,,, one or two sugarcubes wouldn’t hurt,,
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🖤 🌿 Next time, Nassor is determined to return Toshiaki’s move. Except that his situation is a bit complicated - his father doesn’t drink tea as much as he used to, and Nassor wants to brew some actual traditional arabian tea, which means he would need his late mother’s samovar. He can’t ask his dad, but he certainly went through her things and found it! The way he announced it to Toshiaki was probably the first time he had a hint of emotions in his eyes. Toshiaki was quite taken aback to discover Nassor’s extended bedroom, located in what could be the attic. The small boy could have spent hours rumaging through the room and how it seemed to represent Nassor’s mind and interests - however, the beautiful samovar and its pair of intricate cups was the one thing that caught his attention. This evening, Toshiaki had an insight of his friend’s personal space and mind, but also understood how symbolically close they became through sharing authentic mint tea from the precious samovar of Nassor’s mother.
~
thereeeee that’s what you get for giving me cute ideas!!!!
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masonscig · 3 years
Note
Hi! It's so sweet that you wanna hear about everyone's detectives, you're doing the lord's work! I don't really know how to start this so I'll just go with what I noticed you seem to enjoy: angsty anti-good relationship with Rebecca headcanons!
My detective, Zuri (I can't specify who she's romancing because I lowkey see her with everyone💀), developed a bit of a complex about being an entertainer. She used to do gymnastics and Rook was there for every competition. Rebecca was there 60% of the time thanks to him. I headcanon that Rook died when she was 8 years old, and ever since then Rebecca never showed. She carried on for a while, hoping that the amount of cheers she got would cancel out her absence, but she stopped once she reached highschool because there was a girl who would constantly point out that she wasn't there and it started affecting her performance.
She got into musical theatre in highschool and was really involved. She managed to charm people into funding a huge project of hers that got recognized by someone who held musical theatre competitions. Her school entered, and out of all of them she ended up winning the best leading actress award. It felt good to make people smile and experience something moving, and Rebecca was actually there! But after that, she went right back to work and had an agent drop her off at home.
What I'm getting at is Zuri is used to being a good time for people. She'll make you laugh, she'll make you comfortable, and then leave you with fond memories before moving on to the next person. Almost like a temporary fix. She can't fathom the idea of someone missing/wanting her without all the fun theatrics, but she can't stand being alone. So she'll go out and be the life of the party in a room full of strangers if she has to, give them a good story to tell their friends and have that be that. She has a degree in psychology and is very charming (to the point of manipulation while she was in college and Bobby was her bff), so she's good at drawing people in and preventing negative feelings when she leaves. She's only been in three relationships, two of which her partners bared their souls and she got out of there without having to scratch the surface of her baggage.
Her relationship with Rebecca is just so messy, and this is without me touching on the fact that she made her feel like an inconvenience which also adds to her whole "entertain them" shtick (ie, if she isn't actively doing something for someone then she is only taking up space). Gosh, I have so much to say! I feel like I didn't even explain this properly with how summarized this is💀
THANK U FOR THIS LONG ASK I LOVE IT SO MUCH !!!!!! tbh you’re so supportive and always liking/reblogging people’s content so no YOU’RE doing the lord’s work queen !!! (putting it under the cut just in case bc i rambled LMAO)
NO OH MY GOD YOU MADE SO MUCH SENSE !!!!! holy shit i love zuri so much – she’s SO well thought out and i get such a sense of who she is from this omg??? she’s such a strong character already – omg an athletic/arts centered detective???? I LOVE ITTTTT
also please the first like... 6 months i played twc i played only w sofía and romanced EVERYONE so its honestly hard if you have an attachment to her? but i love that zuri’s able to mesh so well with everyone regardless of her personality !!!!!! who do you think you lean towards the most? who do you think zuri could be long term with? to be honest from what you’ve said i think she’d be good with m because if she’s never bared her soul..... whew i wonder how THAT plays out. and i think f would be a challenge for zuri??? god how would she handle someone that’s all in from the get go??? please answer im so curious !!!!!!
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marvelgbt-posts · 5 years
Text
Forever
{Peter Parker x Male Reader}
Warnings: none… angst…? slight self hate ig but idk you’ll see…
Summary: a peter parker x male reader where peter gets insecure about mj and readers friendship since he sees how good they look together and knew MJ had a slight crush on reader. Reader fixes the problem by cuddling him, giving him slight kisses on his neck and just some fluffy shit. also cute bby boy peter being all flushed and cute
I really hate giving MJ this role, but ok :/ and also, what do you us think about MJ and Peter in FFH? Personally, i dont like it. I’ll make it it’s own post, it’s mostly a personal preference though.
(not edited)
“OMG, [M/N]. You’re too funny,” MJ said, a slightly happier tone to her voice than usual. You smiled, taking the small smack to your arm with a soft laugh as well. Peter watched across the lunch table while Ned was too occupied with the game on his phone. He pouted; you seemed to be having way more fun with MJ than with him. Lunch was almost over- oh no, wait, that was the bell…
You stood up from your seat as Peter gathered his stuff. He waited for you to walk him to his next class, as you usually did so. MJ also stood up, looking at Peter, “Hey, loser,” Peter had found himself being called ‘loser’ a lot by MJ- probably more than he found himself being called that by Flash- but he knew she was joking, “Aren’t you and I together for History?” Peter nodded, “Oh yeah, I forgot,” he usually had Math right after Lunch, but today was Thursday. Thursday schedule was always weird for him. You began dragging yourself behind and in between them. Ned had already disappeared; his next class was all the way across the hall from where their classes were, so he had to hurry. You spoke up, “I have Biology next anyway. It’s right down the hall from there.”
“Neeerd!” MJ laughed, yelling into your ear. You tried to move away from the noise, a smile playing to your lips, “Oi, idiot, that hurt!” MJ smirked, “Good.” Peter fumed- he felt like he was the third wheel when it was supposed to be MJ. He was dating you, not her. Though, to be fair, not that many people knew. Just the two of you, Ned, Aunt May, Mr. Stark, Happy, and the rest of the Avengers. MJ didn’t, and Peter felt like he should tell her- if not for it being for the reason of ‘she should know because she’s my friend’, then at least for ‘omg stop touching him he’s my boyfriend’. And there she goes, touching you again. Though, this time she used her own shoulder to bump into yours instead.
Peter heard a small murmur, “Doesn’t MJ look really cute next to [M/N]?”
“Yeah, she’s definitely happier around him.”
“She smiled a lot when with him.”
“Their both into the arts; she likes reading and drawing, he likes music and (insert an artistic talent/interest).”
Soon, Peter began hearing things other than just small murmurs and chattering around him. It felt as if he could hear everything everyone was saying. Wasn’t that a side effect of his spider-like abilities? Perhaps it was, Peter couldn’t remember at the moment.
“Yeah, they’re practically made for each other.”
“They make a good couple.”
“Did you hear that MJ and [M/N] got a full score on their project for Art?”
“Oh yeah, they were parters, right?”
“Yeah, MJ made the layout of the sketch and [M/N] finished it up. He did his own thing as well, and they ended up getting their art submitted into the contest happening at the art museum.”
Then, Peter felt as if he couldn’t breathe.
“So cute.”
“Wow, they make a good couple.”
“Peter looks like such a third wheel.”
His own thoughts mixed with the other small talk around him, and it surrounded him in a pit of black.
“He looks like such a loser.”
“Wow, no one would be interested in him anyway.”
“No one likes a nerd.”
“Peter is a loser.”
“Peter is a nerd”
“Peter is lame.”
“No one likes Peter.”
“Peter-“
“Peter!” You shouted in his ear, and Peter jolted up. “O-Oh, yeah?”
“Isn’t this our class?” MJ asked, pointing to the door. Peter nodded sheepishly, looking over at you. You smiled, “Have fun learning about a bunch of dead guys. I’m off to math!” You pumped your fist up in mock excitement. MJ laughed and Peter gave a small chuckle, “H-Have fun.” You nodded, “Sure wont.”
***
3rd person P.o.V.
[M/N] met up with Ned, MJ, and Peter after school. “Hey guys!” He greeted, wrapping an arm around Peter’s shoulders. Peter resisted the urge to lay his head on the other male and just looked at him and smiled instead. [M/N] smiled back, but Peter felt like their was this other feeling in the other male’s eyes he couldn’t quite read. “Uh, hey,” [M/N] started, “Parker, you feeling up to a study session today?” Peter pretended to think, nodding soon after, “Sure, dont have any plans today anyway. Lemme text Aunt May, though, first.”
‘Study session’ was a code name for ‘miniature date at my house’. Peter had grown to love the words very much because then it was just them two, and it was normally [M/N] showering Peter in love and affection for the whole night- if he didn’t have Spidey-duty that day, that is. Peter pulled his phone out from his back pocket, pulling up Aunt May’s number. “Can I come too?” MJ asked, “Or is it just one of your gay things?” MJ huffed in amusement at her own joke, not realizing the irony of it. She tried sounding nonchalant about it, but not wanting to break her heart, [M/N] let her off easy, “Uhh, my house is really messy. I feel like Peter can handle it, but I dont wanna make you run off because you’re scared of my pigsty of a home.” He laughed. MJ chuckled, “Wow, gender equality, dude. Whatever happened to that?” [M/N] shook your head, “maybe next time. You don’t have anything and Peter usually spends the night, so it’d be weird, wouldn’t it?” MJ nodded, seemingly disappointed, “yeah, whatever. It’s cool.”
“Done!” Peter chirped, and MJ began walking off. Ned had also run off somewhere. “Good!” [M/N] smiled, “I have you all to myself for the rest of the evening!”
2nd person P.o.V.
Once the two of you made it home, Peter put his stuff down onto the floor in your room while you prepared some food. Since it was Thursday, you guys weren’t assigned that much homework, so you and Peter would probably finish it in the small intervals before classes. You prepared some snacks like popcorn and candy while Peter changed his clothes. He also took the time to pick out clothes for you- a loose white T-shirt with black basket ball shorts. He wore a white shirt- of course, a nerdy one with a scientific pun on it (the two atoms; one asking if the other is positive it lost a electron)- with one of your boxers. He walked out, socks protecting his feet from the cold floor. He scrunched his nose at the smell, smiling.
“You wanna pick out the movie?” Peter asked, wrapping his arms around your waist. You turned around, wrapping your arms around him as well. They made their way around both his arms, one hand holding the other to trap the smaller boy in an embrace. “No, you can pick,” you smiled, tilting your head to kiss Peters lips quickly, “so long as it isn’t Star Wars or Lord of the Rings again. Please. I can’t go through another marathon again.” Peter whined playfully, “But [M/N]!” You stuck your tongue out, “Too bad.”
Peter reciprocated the action, and you both let out a sigh of giggles. “Anyway,” you continued, “You want anything specific to eat?” Peter shook his head and you nodded. You let him go and he went over to the couch. He flipped though the many channels on the TV before settling on a Disney movie. “Is that Disney?” You asked, walking in with a bowl of popcorn, two sodas, and a plate of cookies. Peter watched in awe as you balanced everything. “Yeah,” he answered, “The Hunchback of Notre Dame.”
“Aw, sweet!” You fist-bumped the air, “love that movie.” Peter nodded, leaning to rest his head on your shoulder, he had been deprived of physical touch for a while. He just wanted to spend time with you, was what he thought as he wrapped his arms around you. Your arm wrapped around his waist while the other ate from the supported the bowl of popcorn on your lap. Peter stole some as well, and you watched as the movie began with its intro of the parents trying to save their defaced child from the protagonist.
“It’s kinda inappropriate, dont you think?” You asked Peter after a while, and Peter looked at you confused, eyes squinted Ashe seemingly judged you. “How? It’s a Disney movie?”
“Well, I mean, it talks about gypsies. Aren’t they visualized as prostitutes? And that seen where Esmeralda dances for that old dude, you can see he’s clearly turned on.” You shook your head, “never mind…”
When the movie was over, you cleaned up the remaining food and placed it down to be cleaned later. You carried a very, very tired Peter Parker up to your room. You laid him on the bed and dimmed the lights. He gripped onto you desperately, “Dont move, dont go anywhere…” he said, “Can we stay like this forever…?” He asked tiredly, and you laughed softly, “No, we have school tomorrow.” Peter whined childishly, “forget school. I can make us enough money by being Spider-Man, we dont need education.”
“Peter, my parents would kill me if they found out i dropped out of high school to piggy back on my superhero boyfriend for money.” Peter let out a huff, and the two of you let out quiet, breathy chuckles. He leaned close to you, noses touching. He then frowned, “Do you like MJ?” The question was sudden and it caught you off guard. “Well, i mean… yeah, we’re friends…”
“No, i mean… like like her…?”
You let out an ‘ohhh’, suddenly realizing Peter’s behavior earlier (the cause of your strange glint Peter noted earlier). “No, baby,” you smiled, “I’m not romantically interested in her, if that’s what you’re thinking.” “But,” he began, a slight pout on his lips. God, he was really tired, “she was all over you today, shamelessly flirting with you. You didn’t seem to mind it though…”
“Peter,” you began, stroking his hair a bit, “I dont like MJ. I like you. No, I love you. A lot. So dont think that.” You moved to lay Peter on top of you, taking his hands and intertwining them with yours as he made himself comfortable on your chest. “I know,” Peter started, playing with your fingers a bit, “its just… everybody says you two look good together. I guess i just didnt like the feeling of you with another person, even if it’s just the public appeal and not reality. Sorry…” You shook your head, “dont apologize, baby. It’s normal to feel jealous…”
Peter was quick to defend, lifting his head up to glare at you accusingly, “I wasn’t jealous!” You laughed, “yeah, and I’m not dating Spider-Man.” Peter sighed, resting in his previous position. He mumbled another, ‘I wasn’t jealous…’ and you just nodded. You began running your hands through his hair, to which he quickly responded by sighing and relaxing even further into your chest.
A few minutes of running your hands through his hair later, Peter got bored and slightly irritated of the position. He moved to sleep next to you, with you spooning him. You wrapped your arms around him and gently played it his stomach, felling up and down his abs. He whimpered lightly, curling a bit at the ticklish feeling. His body began to heat up; you could feel it. “Are you still upset?” You asked softly, and Peter nodded. You sighed, placing soft kisses to Peter’s neck. He leaned back, face flushed red as you continued up his neck to his jaw. He turned his head to face you, and gave you a soft kiss. You to didnt move, instead you stayed there and took in the presence of each other.
When you two pulled away, Peter had the brightest blush on his face. He huffed, eyes falling closed, “I wasn’t jealous.”
“Of course you weren’t,” you smiled, “who said you were?”
You turned off the light once Peter finally fell asleep. The two of you stayed like that for the rest of the night- and, to be honest, if you could, you would stay like that forever if you could.
Panicked gay moment; had no clue what to write for MJ, sry sry sry anon (._.”)
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svtmatokis · 5 years
Text
Miracle P3
Plot: What if it was love at first sight? Jihoons lost all passion for music after being wronged two years ago and right as he was about to quit, someone unexpectedly enters his life and changes it for the better
Pairing: Reader x Jihoon  
Words: 3856
Warnings: A lot of chapters have a bit of swearing 
Words: 3927
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[11:00pm] Unknown - OMG I AM SO SORRY JI! (This Jihoon right?) I totally didn’t mean to not text you but I came home, had a small talk with Yoongi and literally passed out :(((( I am sooooo sorry!!! 
[11:01pm] Woozi - Oh thank god...I almost called Yoongi and yea haha..I put my producer alias in your phone cause I already saw another Jihoon in there
[11:01pm] Woozi - Its okay...you were tired right? Why aren’t you sleeping?
[11:03pm] Y/N - You’re THE Woozi!? And why aren’t you? 
[11:04pm] Woozi - I’m THE Woozi and I asked first ;)
[11:04pm] Y/N - I can’t believe it! Also I have some stuff to do~ Yoongi must’ve set an alarm for me or smth. 
[11:04pm] Woozi - So late?!
[11:05pm] Y/N - Work never stops :)) Plus I have this tune in my head I need to get out or else I’ll hate myself if I forget it ><
[11:06pm] Woozi - I know that feel...listen, there was something I actually wanted to ask you…better yet..can I just call you?
[11:06pm] Y/N - Sure?
It was literally a few seconds later before your phone rang and you saw Jihoon’s number pop up and you quickly answered it.
“Hello?” 
“Hey Y/N...sorry, I know it’s late…but” 
“No...its okay whats up?” you asked as you heard the hesitation in Jihoons voice.
You could hear him let out a nervous breath and you patiently waited for him to continue.
“Do you...want to hang out next week? Like...just the two of us?” he asked quickly and you had to confirm that you actually heard right.
“Hang out…?” you asked and saw Yoongi standing by your bedroom door. 
“No way” you mouthed as Yoongi’s eyebrow rose and he came to sit on your desk chair to listen to your conversation.
“I mean if you don’t want to it’s fine. I just thought..” Jihoon started as thoughts of taking back what he said started popping into his head.
“Oh no” you said cutting him off, “It’s not that. I’d love to...it’s just like, I dont know...Unexpected.” 
“And fast.” you whispered away from your phone and Yoongi became more intrigued so he came to sit next to you on the bed so he could really listen to what Jihoon was saying.a
“I know...it’s just yea...It’s weird okay? I’m not really good at talking to girls but with you its just so natural and yea... Wait did you say you’d love to?” Jihoon asked sitting up straight in his bed and his eyes wide with surprise.
“Yes?” you answered and looked at Yoongi weirdly, as he started making kissy faces at you. “We’ll be starting the dance season soon so just let me know a time and place.” you smiled. You couldn’t believe the guys were right of all things. 
“I will.” Jihoon said as an awkward silence engulfed you two. “I should get going...I can hear a rat on the other side of my bedroom door…” 
“Oh really? Maybe I should send the cat that’s currently in mine to take care of the rat.” you said making Jihoon laugh as he imagined Yoongi showing up this late just to kick Soonyoung. “I’ll see you tomorrow?” 
“I’ll see you tomorrow.” Jihoon said as you heard shuffling, “Oh, there’s two rats here that I’m going to have to squish.” 
“See you tomorrow...and go easy on them. Rats are just rodents after all.” you said with a giggle.
“Oh and Y/N?” Jihoon called out before you hung up and you put the phone back to your ear.
“Good night and sweet dreams.” he whispered and you felt the heat rise to your cheeks.
“You too��” you said and quickly hung up just as Yoongi burst out laughing.
“Please tell me I am the best matchmaker in all of this country. I literally got two people together within a two day period.” he said holding his stomach as tears started streaming out of his eyes. “I knew talking about the other person would work but I really didn’t expect Jihoon to make the first move. I am the happiest brother alive right now.” 
“Yea well you’re about to be a dead brother soon if you don’t get out of my room.”  you said grabbing a pillow and smacking Yoongi with it as he continued laughing. “Seriously? The Woozi you would always talk about when you came to visit was Jihoon this whole time?” 
“Of course. You know I never praise anyone unless they deserve it. Heck, you two are the only ones I’ve been mentoring.” Yoongi said, “And plus, you won’t have to worry about me or Jin approving since we already do.” 
“Yes, cause you guys approving my relationships totally matter to me.” you said with a roll of your eyes and Yoongi scoffed.
“You know I can scare off any guy that hits on you within seconds flat. There’s no one good enough-”
“Except for Jihoon apparently.”  you added.
“To date my little sister.” he finished and he pulled you into his arms, “Because you are our baby and if anyone fucks with you, they fuck with all of us.” 
“Like those idiots who spread the rumors?” you asked and Yoongi nodded.
“The idiots who are currently attending the worst performing arts college in the country. Yes them.” he responded patting your hair, “You only deserve the best.”
Yoongi then flipped into mentor mode, you could tell just by the way he was looking at your studio set up, “Now let me see the piece that you had to lose so much sleep over last night to finish.” 
Over the next few days, you had suddenly become extremely busy. Apart from working on the project with Jihoon, dance auditions took place and you were happy to see that Jihoon had auditioned and made the team along with three other people. You and Hoseok were also in the process of preparing the after school dance classes for people who weren’t in the dance program but still wanted to do it for fun and on top of that, you and Jihoon had your date coming up.
That didn’t mean that the two of you didn’t talk at all, in fact your friends had a feeling that the two of you talked too much. Even when working in your respective studios, the two of you had time to call one another to share a piece and give advice or even to go as far as to say hi and good night at times.
The guys of the house teased you endlessly about it and at the same time, the guys from the SVT frat house teased you about it too since they were too afraid to tease Jihoon after what he had done to Seungcheol and Soonyoung after your first phone call. Lets just say the two boys were bruised for days after he was done with them.
The date that Jihoon had set up was as simple as he was and you wouldn’t have had it any other way honestly. He took you out for dinner after dance practice one day and the two of you spent the rest of the time hanging out in your studio/bedroom talking and listening to a few pieces you had created till the early hours of the morning. Jihoon by far was impressed with the work you did but then again, you were Yoongi’s younger sister so the talent had to be passed down from somewhere. The night ended with Jihoon leaving around six in the morning to go back to his house and thankfully he had no classes that day and he was able to crash till about three in the afternoon while unfortunately you had to get ready for your usual dance meeting with the captains of the Senior and Junior team which consisted of Hoeseok, Soonyoung and Chan.
“Oh I really like this one.” Jihoon said as he clicked a piece you had worked on while in London, “I get travel vibes with this. Like road trip vibes.” 
The two of you were back in your bedroom/studio a few weeks after your first date and it was safe to say that things were going steady. You never really talked about your feelings after the first date but it was obvious that actions showed how you felt for one another. 
During classes, Jihoon would more often than not have his hand resting on the back side of your chair while the instructor would explain things or when it was lab time, he would have his hand wrapped around yours subconsciously as you worked on the various projects you were given. Even if it wasn’t a partner project, the two of you spent a lot of time working together, be it asking for input or just advice on the music in general.
He literally felt like he was on cloud nine when it came to spending time with you. Things were obviously going slow since you two hadn’t kissed yet (there were various times where Jihoon had to resist the urge) but it was also because things were new between the two of you and he didn’t want to push for anything and naturally, things just fell into place.
“It’s one of my favorites. I was going to submit it for a project but Yoongi wants me to work on something new for my final so I’m starting fresh.” you said talking about the final composition project, “What about you? Do you have anything yet?” 
“I’m working on something.” Jihoon answered vaguely, “Yoongi’s actually giving me some advice on it.” 
“Really?” you asked excitedly, “If Yoongi’s helping you with it then it has to be good...When can I listen to it?” 
Jihoon gave you a smirk as he rolled over to the couch you were on from your desk. “At the end of year show case.” 
“What?!” you said in complete shock, “B-But, that’s like months away! I should be able to listen to it before anyone else though...I am your girl-” you stopped yourself immediately as the words almost left your mouth and Jihoon only stared at you in shock at your almost slip. Had you really? 
“What was that?” he asked rolling close to you as you hit your head with one of the pillows on the couch.
“Nothing, nothing at all.” you muttered as you felt him take the pillow away from you and felt lips press against your forehead instead. 
Suddenly butterflies invaded your stomach and you felt your face turn extremely red. This was the first time Jihoon had ever initiated intimate contact between you two ever. Sure, he held your hand secretly under the tables here and there and he would play with your hair during class as his arm rested on the back of your hair but other than that, you two never really hugged or kissed or anything of that nature. You figured it was because of Jihoon’s past relationship that he was so careful but in reality, it was because he didn’t want to scare you off by being too straightforward. 
“You can listen to the piece at the showcase and I promise that you will be front and center for it.” he whispered as he pulled you into his arms for an awkward sitting hug. All you could do was nod slowly as your arms wrapped around his waist.
“Okay.” you said as your head rested on his chest and the two of you stayed like that for who knew how long before Jin walked in with “snacks” he prepared. Aka low key checking on the two of you to see if you were doing anything “nasty”.
(A month and a half later)
[12:00am] Cheol - HAPPY BIRTHDAY Y/N!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I HOPE YOU AND JIHOON FINALLY KISS ON YOUR SPECIAL DAY!
[12:00am] Hoshi - HAPPY BIRTHDAY Y/N!!! I CAN’T WAIT FOR YOUR BIRTHDAY PARTY LATER! MAKE SURE JI SPOILS YOU OKAY?
[12:00am] Josh - Happy birthday Y/N! See you in class later!
[12:00am] Dino - Happy Birthday captain :) Does this mean that you’re going to skip our captains meeting for your party later?
[12:00am] Gyu - HAPPY BIRTHDAY Y/N! 
[12:00am] Hansol - HAPPY BIRRRRTTHHHDAAAAYYY CAPPTAINNN! 
[12:01am] Woozi - Happy Birthday ♥ I hope you’re getting some rest and that the guys aren’t blowing up your phone….if they are, I’ll kick their asses in the morning 
At the same time as the texts were coming in, Kimi, Yoongi, Jin, Hoseok and the rest of the BTS Frat house came barging into your room singing happy birthday as you were actually trying to sleep for once since you had a jam packed day planned for your birthday which included going to the dance captains weekly meeting and submitting two projects for different classes.
After blowing out the candle on the cake Jin had made, you were forced to stay awake till three in the morning since the guys wanted to celebrate a bit with you before the big party that night where they were sure Jihoon would take most of your attention. Kimi stayed the night in your room and the two of you ended up talking about Soonyoung and Jihoon for another hour before either of you fell asleep. To top it all off, Jihoon was going to be busy with Yoongi until your party so you wouldn’t see him for most of the day until after you were done your captains meeting that evening.
Jihoon sat on a bench outside the dance building playing games on his phone as he waited for you. He had the whole evening planned out from the moment you stepped out of the building and was ensured by Soonyoung and Yoongi that it was full proof. He quickly checked the time and saw that it was around the time your meeting would finish so he decided to get up and make his way over when a familiar voice stopped him in his tracks.
“Jihoon?” 
He turned to the source of the voice and his breath caught in his throat as the girl who had once invaded his mind stood in front of him. The girl who he hadn’t thought of for close to three months now...not since meeting you. 
“Hana…” he whispered as the girl smiled with a nod and started walking towards him but she stopped when she saw someone approach Jihoon from behind.
You were finally free from your captains meeting and had sent a text to Jihoon letting him know that you were leaving the building. When you saw his blonde head a few feet away from the entrance, you couldn’t help the grin that made its way to your face and you quickly made your way to him intent on surprising him but you paused for a moment when you noticed her. The girl that had broken Jihoon’s heart, the one who had broken his trust.
You remembered when Jihoon had opened up about his past relationship with Hana a few weeks after you met. He told you one day while the two of you were working in your studio about everything. From how she made the school accuse Jihoon of plagiarism so he wouldn’t get accepted into an advanced program when in reality, it was her who had stolen his music during their relationship and selling it to outside artist behind his back. The only way he found out was through a friend who was part of the music scene saying that he was offered a piece that sounded familiar to something he had worked on with Jihoon before. He had let everything out and it eventually lead him to his biggest confession of the night.
(Flashback)
“Did you confront her about it?” you asked as the two of you sat on the couch facing each other and Jihoon nodded his head.
“She denied everything...she said that I had taken the pieces she worked on and sold it and completely flipped the story. It blew me away, it broke all my trust. I literally felt like I had nothing left…I left my friends behind to go to a different college for her...” he said looking down at your intertwined hands and felt comfort as you ran your thumbs across his palm repeatedly. “I called Soon and Cheol and they convinced me to transfer...apparently they had shown Yoongi some of my work that I kept under wraps and only shared with them.” 
“Let me guess, Yoongi was impressed and wanted to work with you right away.” you said and Jihoon nodded his head, “Yoongi knows talent when he sees it Ji. But that’s such a shitty thing that happened to you...It would be like me sharing Yoongi’s works behind his back and making a profit from it. It’s just not right and I’m so sorry you had to go through bull shit like that.” 
“I just...I can’t let it happen again Y/N...I need you to understand that I really do like you and aftering hearing so much about you from Yoongi and finally being able to meet you...two years doesn’t really do what he’s told me justice. You’re more amazing than I could have ever imagined and you’re so caring towards all your friends…Everything with you from music, to common interests is just so natural...I’ve never felt this way with anyone before...until you.” he let out a breath and squeezed your hand when he saw you open your mouth to speak and you took it as a sign that he wanted to continue.
“The reason I’m telling you this is because I want you to know that if we...continue whatever we’re doing that you’re dealing with someone whos damaged. Someone who may not love or trust so easily but if you give me the chance will give you the whole world but if at any point you need an out or if somethings bothering you, you need to let me know Y/N...don’t hide things from me...I can’t...no matter what it is. Even if its stupid, I can’t let it go. She’s done so much damage to me that before I met you, I really felt like I had no purpose in life anymore…” 
“And now?” your asked softly as Jihoon squeezed your hands and brought them up to his lips to place a gentle kiss on them making you blush intensely.
“I want to work harder on my music more than ever...working with Yoongi is one thing, but getting encouragement from you is another. You make me feel like a better person.” he said looking you in the eyes, “To see that smile on your face... I want to become a better person. Just...don’t do what she did to me...don’t break my trust Y/N..please.” Jihoons voice broke as you leaned over to hug him tightly and you felt his arms wrap around your waist bringing you closer to him and you felt the tears seep through your shirt.  He didn’t want to admit to you that he had fallen fast and hard for you from day one. He wasn’t ready for that nor was he ready for your potential rejection.
At some point during that time, Jihoon had fallen asleep after crying and it was around midnight when Yoongi poked his head in to see you on your phone while lying on the couch while Jihoon slept in your bed, the tear stains evident from before.
You gave your brother a reassuring smile and told him that you’d be okay since you were currently working on a piece at that moment and had no intentions on sleeping soon. You had too much on your mind and had sudden urges to rip one Kim Hana into shreds for hurting someone like Jihoon like that.
(End Flashback)
There was no way you were letting a girl like her enter his life again, he did not deserve the pain she put him through and that was a straight fact. 
“Ji!” you called out jogging over to him.
Jihoon turned around just in time to see your smiling face coming towards him and suddenly all thoughts he previously had disappeared until he saw the bags under your eyes and he suddenly became concerned.
“Hey Birthday Girl.” he said and poked your eye bags, “Did the guys keep you up with the messages last night?” he asked with a frown and you automatically shook your head. 
“The boys from the house and Kimi knocked my door down at midnight because they wanted to be the first ones to celebrate with me till about three am...then Kimi and I talked for another hour after that....” you said and gave him the smile that always warmed  his heart, “But your birthday message meant the most to me...more so than the cake Jin had spent the day slaving over.”
“I wouldn’t let him hear you say that…Or else you won’t eat for another week like last time” Jihoon muttered as he interlaced his hand with yours, “We should get going though, there’s something I wanted to do before your party.”
“What’s that?” you asked as he started leading you somewhere, passing Hana in the process. 
You were surprised to see Jihoon completely ignore her as the two of you walked by and when you turned around, you saw her staring at the two of you and once your eyes made contact, you finally recognized her as someone who had attended the same program in London that you had but had gotten kicked out for unknown reasons after her first year.
“No freaking way…” you whispered catching Jihoons attention.
“What was that?” he asked and you looked up at him with big eyes.
“Is Hana Seungcheol’s cousin?” you asked out of the blue but Jihoon nodded anyways.
“That’s how we met.” Jihoon said, “How did you know?” 
“I’ll tell you later…” you said biting your lip, “Where are we going?” 
“Stopping by my place for a quick bit before we go to the party.” he answered as you turned a corner.
“Why?” you asked.
“Forgot your birthday present. Let’s go.” he said walking faster after he looked at his watch. He had quite a bit to do but he also promised Jin he wouldn’t be late for the party either.
Meanwhile, Hana was stuck to the spot she had been in when she first saw Jihoon till someone tapped her shoulder. She turned around to see an acquaintance she had met through a friend at school.
“Hey, you’re Hana right? I’m Lina, we met a few months back at the concert.” the girl said introducing herself.
“I remember you.” Hana said with a smile, “Thanks for showing me around for the week.”
“It’s no problem. You’re actually in luck too. One of the biggest Frat houses here is having a birthday bash for one of their friends and I was lucky enough to get an invite. Want to be my plus one?” Lina asked and Hana nodded her head.
“I’m always up for a party. Let’s go.” she said as the two linked arms.
Little did Hana know, she was about to have the shock of her life once she walked through the doors. 
24 notes · View notes
comicteaparty · 4 years
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July 4th-July 10th, 2020 Creator Babble Archive
The archive for the Creator Babble chat that occurred from July 4th, 2020 to July 10th, 2020.  The chat focused on the following question:
What was an unexpected aspect of making webcomics you didn’t realize before making one yourself?
Krispy §[Ghost Junk Sickness]§
How much our comic and it's story we're going to change during the years of creation was the biggest and most jarring aspect for sure. There's scripts and thumbs that were all made before we ventured out to make GJS with paths completely different from what we initially thought we would take that have completely changed how we approach not only writing but reading webcomics too. Webcomics as a medium have the biggest connection to time, whether it be production or the consumption, they have this opportunity to exist and transform in the long hours it takes to enjoy and read them. It's honestly one of the biggest advantages imho. To see a story slowly unfold, listening to ur audience reactions, peer critiques, or new inspiration can make such a drastic and intense impact on a long form work- its both jaw dropping and humbling to be apart of!(edited)
Deo101 [Millennium]
For me it was the community aspect of comics. I knew a community existed on the reader side of things (comments!), but I didn't expect the creator side to be how it is! I don't know why, but for some reason I kind of always thought that all of us were sort of throwing our comics out from the void... I guess that was me looking at comics from a reader's point of view! But as soon as I started making comics, I started meeting people who made them too... and it's been incredible!
Eightfish (Puppeteer)
@deo I never really understood what an internet community or internet friends were until I started making a webcomic
Deo101 [Millennium]
Yeah, I had been in (and quickly decided to not be in 0_0) gaming communities, but nothing really as wonderful as what I've found through comics. Closest I had gotten other than that was comments on social media
Shizamura 🌟 O Sarilho
Community definitely one of the big things, much like Deo pointed. I was kinda expecting to have get connections through readers, but it's much more with other creators, which is super satisfying in it's own way. Also gonna second Krispy's comment about how time affects how you see your story's past and future. A lot of things changed in the past four years that made my comic change as well and having so much time to think each individual scene allows them to be much more complex and interesting than they would when I first thought them through. Having the time really helps. This also kinda touches the topic of personal change too, which affects how I write and what feels most important to focus on and that's interesting to think about as well
eliushi [Keyspace]
How long things will take, the longer the story goes on! I started out being able to complete a page in 2h but then I found more I wanted to try on each page (colours, layout, composition etc) and even wanted to extend certain scenes. With 500 pages planned, I definitely thought I’d be farther along by now, heading into AWT’s first year anniversary in a month. That being said, I’m also enjoying the ride and it’s all thanks to the great community here and making connections with other comics folks/readers. I never expected to get comments and so each one has been a treasure to read.
Desnik
An unexpected aspect of making webcomics is how much people respond to them. I figured I'd be creating into a void but I met so many people as a result of publishing my dinosaur comic
shadowhood {SunnyxRain}
Ditto on the webcomic community. I didn't realize how far reaching it was to have a community that supports each other. And I've enjoyed meeting so many wonderful and creative people who raised each other up. Another thing I didn't expect, however, was how invested I got into my comic.(edited)
At first I was doing it mostly for fun. But the more I delved into it, the easier it was to get sucked into my story and want to draw it out. And as a result taking it a lot more seriously.
Desnik
yeah sometimes I miss my dinosaur comic even though I had some pretty good reasons for moving on. It was created out of desperation and evolved into something that made me feel good about myself
Haruh2 (Colony Life)
How much work and time it takes to keep a weekly update going with no backlog
Deo101 [Millennium]
Yeah same
Cronaj ~{Whispers of the Past}~
For me, I didn't realize how much it would affect my life to make comics, and vice versa. In a weird way, I didn't know how interrelated the two were, or how easily life could interfere with my comic, or the inverse.
eliushi [Keyspace]
Making comics became a lifestyle for me
@Haruh2 (Colony Life) When I had no backlog I was updating every two weeks with 7 pages per update; so about 14h of work. But this is with a finished script. I am also told I work fast.
Eightfish (Puppeteer)
omg
Cronaj ~{Whispers of the Past}~
That's soooo much, Eli!
That's at least twice as much as I do (edited)
Eightfish (Puppeteer)
For me, I didn't realize how much it would affect my life to make comics, and vice versa. In a weird way, I didn't know how interrelated the two were, or how easily life could interfere with my comic, or the inverse.
I hadn't realized how much I put myself into my comic! My friends who read it have all said that it's incredibly in my voice and reflects my opinions and worldviews Before I shared it with people I hadn't thought of it in that way at all
Joichi [Hybrid Dolls]
As an artist, I didn't expect how my comic production and mindset will change. Once I started comics, it brought out my ideas from thoughts to a physical form. I start to invest more time into it. Each project evolved through each chapter. How to balance script writing to a polished piece. I put alot of time and research in my works. It makes me glad to hear other creators do the same. I'm not the crazy artist who's wasting her time. One of the positive change was meeting other creators, how we give advice and receive praise.(edited)
eliushi [Keyspace]
The support has been amazing. It makes the work less lonely
Cronaj ~{Whispers of the Past}~
Fish, oh for sure! I didn't realize until recently how much my characters are all just facets of myself!
eliushi [Keyspace]
(I don’t work that quickly anymore and I’m making big changes to the format soon so it’s going to be a Transition)
Joichi [Hybrid Dolls]
I've been in school with art students who never made comics, so when I came to CTP discord, reading comic discussions. It was comforting and fun. I enjoy the cooperation our group has, helping each other.
eliushi [Keyspace]
I like to commiserate about the unique challenges comics have
Cronaj ~{Whispers of the Past}~
Hahaha, yeahhhhh
Joichi [Hybrid Dolls]
I agree, it's different from illustrations. Different approach(edited)
eliushi [Keyspace]
I am perpetually balancing time spent on a panel vs how much time the reader will spend on it
Vs illustration: lemme make all the details
Joichi [Hybrid Dolls]
Oh I agree, each panel takes longer than it takes to read it. Hence I dislike when readers call manga creators 'lazy'
Eightfish (Puppeteer)
how much time does it take to read one of my pages?
20 seconds?(edited)
haha
e.e
wait is that emoji supposed to be someone rolling their eyes??
i jsut looked it up
i might've been using it wrong this whole time
Cronaj ~{Whispers of the Past}~
Pacing
It's way different than in novels, and definitely came as a shock at the start
eliushi [Keyspace]
Yeah have to play to the strength of the medium. Still imagining AWT as an animated movie written from a novel, in the format of a comic
Cronaj ~{Whispers of the Past}~
Haha, same kinda
Haruh2 (Colony Life)
@eliushi [Keyspace] ah haha, that makes me feel better about my update habits, but thats a good goal for me to shoot for now that im learning a new way to make long comics specifically
cAPSLOCK (Tailslide)
I completely underestimated the amount of effort that would have to go into formatting, website design and maintenance, etc. If I got to do it again, a little more research beforehand probably would’ve saved me a lot of time and hassle.
snuffysam (Super Galaxy Knights)
I really overestimated the "if you build it they will come" aspect of webcomics lol. Like, you actually have to work to advertise your comic in order for people to read it. Nobody ever got hundreds of readers just from posting their comic onto some hosting site without doing major marketing work.(edited)
dako
yeah, I feel that
I've never really been an advertising type before my comic, im learning to just get used to it
Deo101 [Millennium]
I've not really done much advertising tbh, it makes me uncomfortable
dako
it feels kinda...embarrassing? might be too harsh of a word
i dunno
Deo101 [Millennium]
its just uncomfortable idk! i feel awkward doing it
dako
yeah, same ive done it a few times on reddit but i have to force myself
Haruh2 (Colony Life)
it does feel, odd..hell most of the time it just feels like i open the door to my house and toss a bunch of paper to the wind hoping someone can see it
Deo101 [Millennium]
yeah, I dont know if ive done anything other than posting updates on twitter and talking about it in groups like this
and twitter is mostly just me talkin to people who already read it...
idk talking about my work without being asked first makes me feel like im inserting myself where im not allowed
keii’ii (Heart of Keol)
Self promo got MUCH less intimidating for me when I started thinking of it like: "okay, so my comic is made for readers like me, people who share my tastes. That means I only need to answer one question: what can I say to get me to check out this comic? I don't need to impress anyone else. I just need to appeal to me." (since "me" is my target audience)
Deo101 [Millennium]
mhm ^^
keii’ii (Heart of Keol)
But take it with a grain of salt because I'm still not really promoing
Haruh2 (Colony Life)
exactly, thats why i find it hard to tweet about it most of the time, but i get the whole if i dont care about to talk without being asked no one else will either
Deo101 [Millennium]
yeah lmao mood im like what would get me to read... hmmm... probably exactly what im doing.... I'll keep it up then :)
Haruh2 (Colony Life)
yea i get excited to draw out certain parts..but wouldnt want to just tweet about all the little tidbits of the story ruining it for others
Deo101 [Millennium]
sweats
dako
i made a whole side twitter for my comic cuz talking about it on my main intimidated me too much
it is my containment chamber
Haruh2 (Colony Life)
hm may do that, just to say i did it and to get my mind away from the thought
snuffysam (Super Galaxy Knights)
yeah same
Deo101 [Millennium]
My main is just whatever I want it to be idk. Its kinda for all my comics, since my comics are all I want to talk about
snuffysam (Super Galaxy Knights)
though my main is mostly just retweeting from my side twitter lol
Deo101 [Millennium]
it removes a lot of the pressure of like what if my followers dont wanna see this??
cause they wouldnt be here if they didnt wanna see it
cause its all Ive been doing the whole time
dako
thats a good point
i had my main way before my comic so most of my mutuals/followers dont follow for that
Haruh2 (Colony Life)
yea, it can feel abit disorienting when there is no interaction one way or another on anything you tweet (also if twitter has messed up and causes your tweets to not show up)
Deo101 [Millennium]
but yeah I dont really advertise cause it just makes me so uncomfortable >.<
dako
understandable
Cronaj ~{Whispers of the Past}~
I'm kind of somewhere in between. I advertise my comic mostly because it is all I wanna talk about, like Deo. But I also don't think it's gotten me many readers. Most of my readers came as far as I can tell because I was making something that appealed to them. (The whole "if you build it, they will come" thing.) Although, I really don't have a big audience, I do have an audience, and I am certain most of them came from me just posting.
I think it's determined a lot by luck, and also, how big your niche's audience is to begin with (and some skill tbh).
Deo101 [Millennium]
yeah like I think "gay sci fi" is a p big niche so ive got a big amount of people I could potentially reach
which makes it much easier to draw people in
Cronaj ~{Whispers of the Past}~
I'm particularly lucky, I guess, that fantasy/romance has a lot of readers (also more competition, but...)
Deo101 [Millennium]
yeah fantasy romance is a damn big one
Haruh2 (Colony Life)
eh i think im in an awkward void with my action/drama story (since im not doing romance drama)
Cronaj ~{Whispers of the Past}~
I just go with the mindset: "what makes my fantasy/romance different from the rest" and go from there.
Deo101 [Millennium]
mhm
tbh I dont think my sci fi romance is doing anything special?
but im having fun so :) I dont rlly care about that hahahha
dako
having fun the most important thing
Deo101 [Millennium]
its not my goal to make somthing mindblowing ^^ truley im just here for a good time
Cronaj ~{Whispers of the Past}~
I mean, LGBT+-inclusive sci-fi is pretty unique
I haven't seen a lot
keii’ii (Heart of Keol)
It's clear that your characters are people, and that's special, regardless of how common/uncommon
dako
think if i didnt love my comic as much as i do id have stopped a long time ago
Deo101 [Millennium]
thats true keiiii, thank you <3
also yeah its Sad that theres not more LGBT+ sci fi cause its like youve got aliennnssssssssssssssssssss you can do whatever you waaaaaant
Cronaj ~{Whispers of the Past}~
I knooowww
Deo101 [Millennium]
guess it shows what ppl want or something
Cronaj ~{Whispers of the Past}~
yup
Deo101 [Millennium]
off topic
so to make it back on topic
I underestimated how much people would like gay sci fi GJKLAGJLAJLKAGJSLAKGJKL
keii’ii (Heart of Keol)
One thing I learned specifically with my current comic... I did not realize how much difference the reader's cultural background would make in terms of interpreting my story.
Deo101 [Millennium]
!!!!!
I actually almost mentioned you in class once tbh keiii
keii’ii (Heart of Keol)
Big oversight, in retrospect
!?
Deo101 [Millennium]
saying "someone I know makes a comic which they noticed, it's interpreted completely differently just depending on cultural backgrounds" kind of a thing
keii’ii (Heart of Keol)
like I would not have made the comic any different, but I would have approached the... presentation differently. Like, talk about it differently
Deo101 [Millennium]
cause we were talking about how narratives affect rt
Cronaj ~{Whispers of the Past}~
I guess another thing that was unexpected about making webcomics was... there are way more people with my exact tastes than I thought
Deo101 [Millennium]
and I was saying that I think the viewer's narrative affects art more than the artists narrative
I mean, the artists narrative obviously is what makes it so.
keii’ii (Heart of Keol)
In the eyes of the beholder
Deo101 [Millennium]
but interpretations and all that... yeah!!!
so. actually I might have offhandedly mentioned you I cant remember if I did or not
lemme check
I did! very like "second hand" offhandedly mentioning though ahaha
hope that doesnt make you uncomfortable GSKLGSJALGJLGK no one replied to me so e.e
in the class I mean
keii’ii (Heart of Keol)
I am super uncomfortable and offended !!!!!
j/k
Deo101 [Millennium]
hgjkghsjkagskajgdhsakgjhgjd
but... yeah idk starting out I truly just was making it cause I really love my characters a lot, the idea that other people would like them too is very unexpected :) in a good way
I also definitely didnt expect how important enviornments were e.e
didnt plan those well enough.
Cronaj ~{Whispers of the Past}~
that relatable feel
sssfrs (JOE IS DEAD)
I really desperately advertise my comic everywhere. I don't really know how to do marketing effectively though & I don't know if its working
eliushi [Keyspace]
I find what increased readership most consistently is still the feature aspect from the hosting sites. It’s really about finding the right readers/right readers finding you
Eightfish (Puppeteer)
Same, I'm basically a rounding error away from being 100% reliant on the features for subs
sssfrs (JOE IS DEAD)
I don't think my comic has ever been featured on the hosting sites. My numbers have always been low on Tapas and maybe thast why
Cronaj ~{Whispers of the Past}~
Yeah, features help a lot
I've been featured on Webtoon, but not Tapas, and you can really see the difference in readership there
Deo101 [Millennium]
Ive been featured on both, uhh in a couple of diff places, if you wanted a breakdown of how many readers i got from the diff spots and stuff ever just lmk im happy to share
keii’ii (Heart of Keol)
I've been featured on both. It certainly got people to check it out and even sub, but retaining those people (even if they've subbed!!!) is a different story. I think my story is just not the right type for the platforms, but eh, even if 99% of the platform users aren't into the kinda thing I'm making, 1% increase is still an increase.
Which is another thing I learned over the course of running this comic, specifically (since the internet has changed so much after my first two attempts). Just because the majority of your subs don't actually read the comic, doesn't mean your work sucks. Today's internet caters to casual users, and there's a bajillion factors affecting who's actually reading your stuff.
dako
i agree
my comic has never been featured on either, and webtoons doesnt have a guideline on what they pick but tapas does and my comic doesnt really meet their featuring requirements so i dont think either site ever will feature mine haha
so i gotta advertise on reddit and use twitter tags a lot
keii’ii (Heart of Keol)
Don't go too crazy with twitter tags; they can make people zone out and not look at your tweet.
dako
i try to use 5 at the most, i know too many is unpleasant to look at haha
Jib {WIP haha}
Oh huh, my rule of thumb is to use 1-2 on twitter and as many as I can on Insta but I’m no expert lol
keii’ii (Heart of Keol)
Yeah, IG seems to be where you want all the tags XD
varethane
Webtoon's algorithms are like turning a hose on and off lol
The difference between views and sub growth during periods of being featured vs not is stark(edited)
carcarchu
i've never been featured by webtoons but i've seen series grow from 100 followers to 10k overnight
not an exaggeration
varethane
I put my new comic on webtoon in november 2019, and in 1 month I crawled up to.... maybe 50 subs?(granted I only put up one episode and then paused for a bit)
Then in December I started updating it weekly and got placed in the new and hot section of the app
And bam, 6k subs
It last 2 weeks and then the section updated and all growth stopped, and subs went down by 10 or so over the next week
Krispy §[Ghost Junk Sickness]§
(Omg featured is like the new Daily Deviation goals from DA way back in the day!)
varethane
Until it got another feature on a different part of the website and went up another 2k. It was like playing with the handle on a faucet lol
dako
I got some pretty good growth during canvas week, but beyond that not really
I get 1-2 subs after an update if I'm lucky
varethane
I feel like their algorithms are very reliant on the regular rotation of features that staff have to do manuallt
Outside of that, discoverability is quite weak
Mostly because of the volume of comics on there
boogeymadam
same boat as vare. the only thing i know about webtoons features is they have stated a couple times one of their recquirements is consistant updating, so if u skip a week that disqualifies u for a lil while i imagine
varethane
I wonder what they count as consistent. I was doing every 2 weeks for awhile, but this month I'm gonna try weekly to see if it helps me earn more $$ from ads :U
dako
I wish there was more incentive for readers to check out the new section on webtoons and tapas
carcarchu
i have found some amazing gems in the new section
i swear i've seen stuff in featured that were not at all updated consistently
dako
I have too, there's a ton of good comics that get overlooked because they're not in the front page
some featured comics havent updated in months sometimes
varethane
I definitely would not have considered myself consistent at the time of the first feature, considering there was a gap of a month between episode 1 and 2 lpl
carcarchu
the consistently updating thing is more of a recommendation than a requirement i feel?(edited)
boogeymadam
ooohh good to know!!
varethane
I'm sure it cant be a hard rule, especially for comics that have just launched
boogeymadam
im just going off their canvas qna's from last year
dako
if it's actually a hard rule for staff to feature comics that regularly update they break that rule a lot
i also heard a bot picks up comics too
carcarchu
well i at least think the staff or bots or whatever at webtoons are doing a better job with features than tapas is
tapas is always pushing their premium comics way more than their indie stuff
boogeymadam
tapas needs to bring new comics onto the frontpage more often than it does, yeah
dako
yeah I agree
keii’ii (Heart of Keol)
I mean, I get why they put premium on the front page. But I feel more variety would help them because it's more interesting for the readers?
dako
I can't tell whats premium or not with tapas sometimes
boogeymadam
i do like that they've been asking stuff like this in the forums tho
carcarchu
more distinction would be helpful to me too dako
i don't think its as clear as it could be
dako
yeah, webtoons at least it's clear what is and what isnt featured or canvas
Jib {WIP haha}
Huh, anyone remember that really popular writing podcast? I forgot the name
Or have any recommendations I guess
Moral_Gutpunch
Terrible writing advice? It's sarcastic
snuffysam (Super Galaxy Knights)
is this related to the topic?
Moral_Gutpunch
It's a podcast about writing, so I'm going to say yes.
keii’ii (Heart of Keol)
I think snuffysam meant the weekly topic for the channel
Moral_Gutpunch
Oh
Just for this channel, no. I'm too new to know that.
Cronaj ~{Whispers of the Past}~
Please check #rules
Moral_Gutpunch
Sound more like someone forgot context than the rules
That's why I'm hardly here. I don't know stuff people who've been here for a long time know like podcasts or older comics(edited)
keii’ii (Heart of Keol)
Basically each of the channels under "CTP Activities" on this server has its own topic of the week.
Cronaj ~{Whispers of the Past}~
It's not a matter of being here for a long time or not. This channel is used solely for discussing the weekly topics, and such information can be found in #rules
Moral_Gutpunch
Kudos then. I came for creator babble only.
keii’ii (Heart of Keol)
For general webcomic creation-related advice (either seeking or giving) and such, #shop_talk usually is the place!
creator_babble is for answering the topic of the week
It's not actually for generalized "creator babble" despite the name.
dako
looks like they left
Jib {WIP haha}
Oh my bad, it’s been a while since I read the rules, I brought up the new subject
keii’ii (Heart of Keol)
Happens!
Cronaj ~{Whispers of the Past}~
No problem, we were just reminding you all :)
Jib {WIP haha}
Ty for that then haha
dako
I think one unexpected thing for me is that no one tells you how crazy the highs and lows can be
well I guess people do but you really don't know until the highs and lows happen to you if that makes sense
Cronaj ~{Whispers of the Past}~
Oh God, that's so true
Burnout is way more dreadful than I could ever guess prior to experiencing it
Feather J. Fern
One unexpected thing for me was how many people I would meet because of my comic. It surprised me greatly that I found so many cool people through the comic community and made the friends I have made now. Love you all
rajmews
The unexpected thing for me was just how much you have to just...predict...what the market will want to read. Like even if you research a whole lot, and you draw really well, and have been doing art professionally, you can still strike out. It's a humbling experience, but being able to just let go of poorly received pages and move on and try things differently is a lot of the battle for doing a webcomic. It teaches you how to fail gracefully because...it's all a process of learning your readers better. Even if they're few at first.
LadyLazuli (Phantomarine)
My major unexpected thing was how much my initial ideas change as I work through a page. Everything from the expressions, dialogue, and layout can change as I look at it and 'solve' it more closely than I did in thumbnails. There are pages I look back on and realize they are ENTIRELY different than what I had first sketched. And they're better for it. Allowing myself the freedom to edit during the artwork... it's created some majorly awesome opportunities.
Deo101 [Millennium]
Yes!!!!! Me too!!!
It's exciting thoufh
Eightfish (Puppeteer)
Absolutely same
Could plan something out meticulously but then change it in the last 2 secs before uploading
Deo101 [Millennium]
Yup... I don't thumbnail much ahead of where I'm at cause of this(edited)
I thumbnail a scene at a time, and then usually I end up changing stuff halfway through ahahfjjdkskdkss
varethane
Same hat, haha. I often make changes at every stage-- even the thumbnails will often depart from the script. If anything, I wish I made even more changes-- I feel like my page layouts tend to be pretty standard, I do a lot of pages with the 3 rows of 2 panels each, and I want to break out of that more. But... well, that's a work in progress.
1 note · View note
alkhale · 5 years
Note
Hello hello miss!... Uh, I think that's how you identify??? If not, please tell me!!! I don't wanna misgender you on accident or something Q-Q Anyways, I've been reading Memo, and I! Really love Hoku, and the way she interacts with the world, and her relationships with everyone, it's just really well written. Plus, she sounds REALLY pretty and I'm weak for that. That aside, are you up for getting ideas for Memo!AUs people've had, or headcanons? If not it's cool, just wanted to ask :> ~ Vira
omg u good, dw anon. 
THANK YOU SO MUCH YOU CUTIE, I FEEL LIKE I SHOULD USE AN uwu WHEN ANSWERING THIS ONE HAHAHAHA. Thank you for loving it and thank you so much!! CALLING HOKU PRETTY IS SO SWEET WHEN SHE PROBABLY JUST LOOKS AT HERSELF LIKE HELL YEAH THAT KIIONOHI WAS WORTH IT. 
I’m guilty of already having a lot of AU ideas for Memos and I might just start a story on AO3 for a collection of them so they don’t clutter the actual story or I can go more in depth or explore some other things hahaha. I’ll start putting them in little omakes and stuff, but Memos chapters have been hella long so I’m worried about overbogging stuff but y’all seem chill with these crazy counts so i hope u don’t mind
AUs:
- School AU, this one’s just fun shenanigans and I love modern AUs. School Council President Sabo, Ace being Ace, Hot teacher Shanks, for some reason Kid and Hoku both have the same art class in basic architecture and metal welding because he’s a grease monkey and Hoku likes designs. Straw Hat crew in school, Brook’s a popular soul musician. Franky and Robin are teachers. 
- MODERN AU. I have so many ideas i wanna hash out for different Modern AUs, hahaha, i’m so attracted to these and was this close to writing it out instead as its own kind of story but Memos won over. 
ASL+Hoku living together and their daily life (together its HASL like hassle and that’s exactly what it’s like with these idiots)
Started to live together once Ace and Sabo were in their third year of high school, it’s been awhile now. (Hoku’s family passed away when she was young, Garp was doing marine work stationed in Hawaii and took an interest in her but before he could find her, she went to live with ‘someone else’ until he managed to shove her in with Luffy, she’s technically an emancipated minor)
Ace is a construction worker/part time fire fighter and picks up all sorts of odd jobs and errand runs.
Whitebeard took him in on several occasions when stuff happened. Ace is super close to the group even though they’re lowkey high profile crime bosses. Marco’s a doctor underground and professional, Thatch is a chef (whitebeard’s crew always sends gifts and visits and hooks them up with deals at random places)
“Ace! Can you call Marco? I think Hoku’s anemic again.”
“I swear to god, put down that phone he’s going to give me all those pills and I don’t wanna pay the hospital bill–”
“But it’s free.”
“God damn it.”
Sabo works for a high fashion brand design/political activist group (somehow these two meshed and Dragon runs both so)
Hoku and Luffy are students almost finishing up with high school. 
Sabo is designated most put-together-has-his-shit-ready, if you can’t find your paint brushes Hoku, ask Sabo. Ace, Sabo put ur laundry away already. He’s usually in charge of meals and making sure the bills get paid. (Their apartment is spacious but a little dingy and random stuff breaks or falls apart but Ace and Hoku are really handy and always fixing shit)
Ace can only make pasta and grilled foods. He’s great with the barbecue. Luffy can’t cook. Hoku cooks pretty damn well but she’s clumsy in the kitchen so she tries to cook before Sabo or Ace get home and they scream something about her cutting off a finger and needing stitches again
House is always decorated with flowers or something nice like a painting or photos or tapestries. Hoku always does that.
They have a small garden plot by the apartment complex. Hoku and Sabo take care of it. Ace and Luffy eat from it a lot and run out animals trying to steal the tangerines from the tree Nami’s adopted mom gave them as a house warming gift.
The three of them fill out a lot of her pages in her sketchbooks and easels. “Is that Sabo again?” “Yeah, he fell asleep reading and he looks too perfect so I wanted to draw it.” “That kinda pisses me off.” “Me too, we’ll do something about it when I finishl.”
Her art classmates are always super eager to see her stuff and ask about the hot older guys in her drawings and please ask them to model. Hoku relents. Ace comes in to model because he gets paid. That’s a story for another day.
Hoku has regular poker nights for awhile now with a group of people Ace and Sabo didn’t think about (they always thought it was the girls or some friends like their friend group) until one night Luffy goes to hang out with the others and they’re like?? Hoku??? and Luffy’s like?? Hoku doesn’t do poker nights with us you dummies.
This sends them into a panic attack and Sabo has Hoku’s location at all times because he did something permanent to her phone (Hoku does not know this) and they visit (stalk) her at one of her poker nights. Find out its in some weirdly shady fancy club body guarded by a bunch of ridiculously macho looking guys (it’s actually Daz, Vergo and some others) They stake out and froth at the mouth, nearly dying when they see Hoku walk out surrounded by GIANT MEN DOUBLE HER SIZE AND AGE, HOKU HONEY, WHAT? It’s Crocodile and Doflamingo, usually Mihawk, and sometimes Jimbei comes.
Hoku’s like ?? I’ve played poker with these guys for forever. (They’re big crime syndicates and totally into illegal business and Sabo knows this and Ace is ready to murder) but apparently Hoku weaseled her way in and she’s a good player so they have fun and like gambling with her. They always suggest taking her to Vegas with them because they’re high rollers but Hoku’s always like nah i got school and work.
Sabo and Ace after herding her home try to convince her to stop meeting with them and Hoku’s just like lmao no and takes out huge wads of cash from her pockets. “They’re ridiculously rich and I win a lot.” They also pay for a lot of good food and Hoku’s not about to pass that up. (She sneaks leftovers for Luffy all the time ((but the older men already know and usually just have shit boxed up for her anyway))) 
“But they’re older men and dangerous!”
“It’s not like I’m going on a date with them. It’s just gambling.”
“You like older men!”
“Oh, yeah, huh.”
Law and Kid are classmates and Luffy and Hoku hang out with them a lot when its not with their crew and Ace and Sabo are always like cant you hang out with better people. Kid and Law never feel welcome in their house but Hoku’s just like dw if they bother u i won’t talk to them and then they get upset and yada yada. Doesn’t stop Ace and Sabo from being super mean looking and scary. Kid and Law are hard to ward off, unfortunately.
Law’s studying to be a doctor, well on the way. Kid’s a mechanic and works at a shop and does street racing. Hoku wants to design a car interior for him.
People always say Sabo seems like the prim and perfect gentlemen of the three and he’ll make a good husband and they just laugh and Hoku tells Koala and she laughs because they always wave their hands and say nah nah, Sabo’s secretly the most sneaky and lowkey scary/sadistic/a tease out of all of them, don’t let the pretty face fool you
(and he really is, sometimes he makes Hoku beg for the pretty cakes he brings home from work from clients because he thinks its cute when she’s trying to reach them over his head)
Shanks is a famous traveler/explorer, always known for doing crazy stuff and his team of explorers climb mountains, explore caves, travel all around the world and take beautiful shots and Hoku and Luffy always tune in. Shanks saved Luffy once from a freak accident and he’s his hero and Hoku has such a hopeless crush on him.
Modern AU where Law is Luffy’s partner in college for a project and he goes to Luffy’s house. Hoku’s a TA for Shanks and stupidly stupid for him and Law meets her and feels things.
Modern AU where Strawhat crew goes on a road trip.
Monsters AU. Hoku’s a ghost.
Hanahaki AU. Red flowers.
Marines AU.
Genderbent AU.
Some other ones but i gotta go finish that essay i mentioned hahaha, hope these were fun! the modern HASL one ran away with me
THANKS FOR LOVING IT
157 notes · View notes
spaceorphan18 · 5 years
Text
Finding Kurt Hummel: The Purple Piano Project
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Masterpost
3x01: The Purple Piano Project
Welcome to Season 3! I’ll try not to whine too much while we’re here, lol :)  
The season starts out on a relatively high note, however, making the whole thing feel a lot more promising than it ended up being.  This episode is fun and quirky and there are a lot of pianos for Kurt to drape himself on top of!! 
Future Plans
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So – we start off the season much like season two – Ben Jacob Israel going around and harassing everyone about their summer vacations and future plans. 
Do you see the set up of this shot, guys?  Rachel chattering in the front while Kurt tries to be distracting in the background?  Well – get used to it, because this Hummelberry dynamic is going to drag us through the next two years, guys, lol.  No really – I enjoy Hummelberry in this episode, I do.  But we had no idea this was a set up for (I’m sure someone will argue me on this) the worst Kurt arc on the show – Getting into NYADA.  And, unfortunately, the Hummelberry dynamic (or more so the writer’s obsession with Rachel not being able to fail at anything) plays into that. 
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Probably going off a rush of a summer where all they talked about was going to New York, Kurt and Rachel have all their future plans figured out.  They’re going to get a little apartment on the Lower West Side (yeah, sure), Rachel’s gonna be a big Broadway star, and Kurt’s gonna be married (legally!!!) by 30.  Yes – think about what is said here, I know Kurt has Broadway ambitions, too, but I find it funny that his dream aspirations include getting married.  
There are two key things I’d like to point about the whole marriage thing.  Kurt says by 30.  As we find in this season – not before 30 cause that is Too. Young.  But also.  Yes.  Kurt Hummel wants to get married.  And I’m pretty sure he already knows who his groom is going to be.  
But anyway, thinking about season 2, and how that started in such a dark place for Kurt, here we have the opposite – bright and shining optimism.  Oh, kiddo.  This really can only go down, can’t it. 
Purple Pianos
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Kurt: Why’s the T-Rex eating the Jew?
It’s exposition dump time! As we get filled in that the Glee Club remains uncool after the Nationals debacle from last year.  Kurt gets his share of funny lines as we get filled in.  
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Meanwhile – the glee club is three men down; Quinn pissed off the writers again, Lauren was fired, and Sam just couldn’t work out a contract deal.  So – Will gets the idea that placing purple pianos everywhere would inspire new people to join the club.  I’m not entirely sure how purple pianos are inspiring, but like Kurt, I’m totally on board with the whole thing.  
As seen in the background, the moment he can, he gets himself up and draped over one of the pianos. 
See – look how adorable he is on that piano!!! 
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Anyway – Will bores us with another inspiration speech that means mostly nothing since no one joins glee club anyway…. 
NYADA – School for Witches
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Lol – oh Kurt, you’re making the best faces in this episode so far….
First of all, let’s talk about the fact that Emma thought he and Rachel were dating (omg!), and the fact that he actually takes the pamphlet about ‘Me and My Hag’ (Lol).  Secondly, let’s talk about these sillies not doing their research on how Julliard is not a musical theater school.  At least Emma is doing the job she’s supposed to be doing in this episode! 
And then she steers them in the direction of New York Academy of Dramatic Arts.  Oh NYADA and my distaste for you begins, lol….  So, this particular school only takes 20 students a year.  Hmmm…  Looks a lot bigger than that in season 4 but whatever.  And the chances that two people from the same school and graduating year getting in? Doubtful.  But this is Glee, so here we go! 
Competitive Spirit
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 It’s the first day of school, and Blaine is still a Warbler, but his resolve is crumbling because Kurt is very persistent (and flirty and adorable) in this scene. You know there’s some interesting meta floating around about this scene recently – about their competitive nature and about how Blaine really isn’t /that/ competitive, but Kurt totally is.  He doesn’t mind it at all, really, which means, in a way, that they’re on equal footing.  Ah, how that is all about to change. 
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But what Kurt really wants is for Blaine to be around all the time so they can spend every minute of every day together.  Oh, Kurt.  Be careful what you wish for. But also – interestingly – they spent all the time together back when Kurt was at Dalton, and Kurt wants that little fairy tale to continue by bringing Blaine over to McKinley.  It’s obvious they talked about this at length over the summer, but I wonder what Kurt’s (more serious) arguments were for getting Blaine to come to public school. 
But anyway – the fun stuff – just how adorable and flirty these two are here! Hands might not have wandered south of the equator, but they were definitely up to stuff over the summer! 
We Got the Beat
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I’ve always thought Kurt was very pretty in this scene.  
I should probably have more profound analysis.  
Well, there’s not much to say, other than Kurt’s used to being bullied by the school, and he’s not about to make himself a target by getting up and singing on the lunch tables, no matter how pretty the pianos are.  
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Year 3 and Kurt’s still an awkward little dancer. <3 
This song is nice and fun and energetic.  Not really a favorite of mine, but man, what does it take to get this school into anything?  Geez! 
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You know, for someone who is so particular about their clothes – I’m sure this is like the zombie apocalypse.  Poor Kurt. I love the food ray shield. 
You know, never once in all my schooling did I witness a food fight. 
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Kurt is just not having it. 
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Kurtcedes lives! If only to pass along exposition.  And to exchange bewildered looks as Sugar sings her god-awful song.  
You know it’s funny – I never noticed how seasons 2 and 3 (and 4 actually) openers have plotlines of – let’s open up glee club for everyone! Except not really because we’re a seclusive little bunch. 
Velma and Roxy
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Small town is small after you’ve been to the big city.  But Kurt has a plan, that they’re gonna out preform all the other Ohio hopefuls so they can get a shot at their dreams.  I think, for the first time, I kinda get the purpose of this song (other than the blatant relation to Wicked and connection to season 2), but that they’re already counting in their victory against all the other hopefuls.  They’re putting their cart before the horse.  
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Say what you will about Gay Hogwarts, NYADA does attract the witches….
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The song itself is a little ridiculous but the performance is wonderful.  I love the choreography of this one.  And as always sound fantastic together, and this performance is no exception.  Say what you will about how Hummelberry was written – and I will say a lot over the next two seasons – Lea and Chris’s voices suit each other wonderful, and the show seems to latch on to that pretty well.  
Transfer
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Not exactly a pic of Kurt, I know, but Blaine’s so frickin’ gorgeous in this scene.  And Kurt thinks so, too!! Look at that grin!  
But I’m kinda fascinated by this, now that I think of it, how Blaine’s all – check me out Kurt – in this kind of suave way.  And, oh Kurt, kind of caught up in his own drama to even notice that his boyfriend’s one outfit has changed.   
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But, just, the excitement Kurt has when Blaine’s decided to transfer.  OMG! the boy is so happy.  
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I love that Kurt has concerns – and they are so totally valid.  Blaine did transfer to be with Kurt, and that’s going to play a part in some of their bigger issues.  But for now, they can reveal in their happiness and not think at all about nasty, nasty break ups.  
And – getting Blaine into New Directions.  But since the only competition is Sugar, there really isn’t an issue here. 
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Oh Kurt – so giddy that he’s once again getting sung to in the courtyard.  Can this year get any better?!?!  
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Everything’s great util you light the piano on fire. 
Velma and Roxy II
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Kurt and Rachel are so ready for this NYADA mixer! Only to find out that while at McKinley they might be special snowflakes, in the real world, they’re a dime a dozen.  I like the reality of this scene, tbh.  That you can give your 1 in a Billion speeches all you want, there’s always going to be someone else who seems like they’re more talented than you.  There are a lot of things Glee misses the mark on when it comes to college.  Or theater.  And this scene is a bit over the top.  But it does show that, hey, there are a ton of people trying to make it the same as you – and so you do have to ask yourself – do you have what it takes to compete? Or do you just walk away. 
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I think now’s a good time to bring up the Glee Project.  I never watched it, tbh, so I can’t judge what kind of a show it was. But I’m not a fan of the results of the Glee Project.  And I don’t mean who won and who didn’t (Damien McGinty? Really?).  I mean that I have lots of problems with season 3.  But I think one of my biggest is that a show with a cast already overflowing now has to shoehorn these winners into the plot.  (I mean, think about how much space the show would have had without Rory)  Outside of Unique, I’m not really a fan of the characters that grew out of the Glee Project. 
That said, Lindsey Pierce was one of the winners, and her little moment to shine here seems perfect enough.  She’s a great vocalist, and I’m incredibly impressed by what she does here.  This performance is excellent.  
Anyway – going back to Kurt’s story.  It’s kinda hilarious how perfect a song choice this is – this group of kids basically stating that anything you guys can do Kurt and Rachel, we can do better.  Oh Glee with all its subtleties.  
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So.  Kurt and Rachel make it back to the car and break down crying because that’s what happens when your optimistic view point gets smashed.  Poor kiddos.  
And then we get Kurt gives Rachel a pep talk v.2.0 (yes, i’ll be numbering these).  And it’s similar to the Born This Way talk – that Rachel is good enough to get in because she’s still special.  The thing, though, as much as I joke around, is that I do honestly like this scene.  Because Rachel is in Kurt’s corner, too, supporting him even though he’s down on himself for lack of extracurriculars.  The scene is a balanced one, where they both pull each other out of this dark place, and I can really do Hummelberry when this kind of thing happens. 
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Gay High-five!!
You Can’t Stop the Beat
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Oh, I have waited so long to screencap this.  There’s a gif out there that’s even funnier though.  
Anyway – there’s a ton crammed into this little scene.  Blaine joins glee club, which is yay!! But c’mon, Finn, you’re seriously having issues with Blaine possibly taking the spotlight when you and Rachel get all the solos? And Santana’s out for the week.  Why is she only out for one week? Who knows.  And then, finally, Kurt’s feeling ambitious and running for Student Body President, and Blaine’s super proud of him.  Can’t you tell by the still above?
But the moral of the story is you can pull all of the strings out of the purple piano but you can’t pull out it’s music.  Or, er,  something like that.  
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Kurt’s feeling light and airy after that handjob.  Oh, wait, nope. 
It’s funny, I think this episode still holds up.  It’s crammed full of things, almost to a fault, but is still funny and endearing and services all the storylines it’s going to be presenting during the first third of the season.  I still really enjoy this episode even if season 3 goes mostly downward for me from here. 
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It’s Season 3 people. Bam!
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thestudyfeels · 6 years
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How To NOT Be Depressed.
(Or If You Prefer — How to Be Substantially Happy About Life.) 
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WARNING: This is one rollercoaster ride of a post. Proceed with extreme caution. For some, the staggering levels of insight may induce true purpose and re-establish their warrior spirit. For others, side effects may include grammatically incorrect hate or aloof eyerolls. We advise exiting if the said group includes you, for we're very tired of cleaning vomit off the seats.
Step aboard at your own risk.
If you’re one of the brave souls who stayed back to join us, I congratulate you for even I am scared of how crazy this post truly is. Alrighty then, kick back and relax folks, today we’re having a mature, adult conversation. Merely another cheery afternoon spent talking about life and its realities. Not too bad, eh?
Before we begin, spoiler alert! For those of you already turned off by the mention of 'depression’ and packing their bunnies to leave, sit tight. This ISN'T really about depression. This is about HAPPINESS. No clickbait. That got your attention, right butterfly? Nice, now stay.
A welcoming, maybe demanding A/N: Do me a favor and read this in one go. Maybe even plug in those headphones and listen to the songs dedicated to each part as you read. It's long, you have the new Riverdale episode to catch up on, but don't hop away just yet because (I had a couple moments writing this, alright) it's life changing. You'll prolly cry a few tears of realization, nod all nod-able body parts in agreement, beat your chest at random instants 'cause the hype’s too real, and perhaps, if it isn’t too much to hope for, finally go change your life for the better. In case you've forgotten, this'll remind you that there’s always hope, that you're a born conqueror, and you were made to THRIVE, not survive. Convinced? Kay, roll the cams.
   To clarify first-hand, no, I'm not depressed although I’ve experienced mild depression for a period before. Glad to say I'm out of it but I still struggle with tackling what I'm about to detail next.
Insert bitter voice, it’s this: My life is nowhere near I want it to be. Though I know vaguely what I wanna do, I haven't yet figured out how the hell I’m supposed to get there, or how my dream life is to be sketched out. It’s all a blurry mess. Which, to put it bluntly, hurts. I HATE feeling powerless and worthless, roaming about aimlessly.
There are many such moments where I hit the brakes to wonder why I’m not living THE Life already. There have been several times when I curl up and cry a frickin’ Amazon. There are horrible nights where I'm shaking with emotions, but they won't release, leaving me choked. (…not in that way, you hoes. Um, just ruined the dramatic mood with a lame dirty joke, sorry.)
   They say talking helps and that's why I figured I'd drop in. But perhaps more importantly, I wanted to hang because no matter how unfocused the lens may seem at my future, I don't consider myself a dopey loser incapable of the crazy dreams or wild bucket lists I fantasize about– and I thought I'd skip along to remind you that neither should you. (Or maybe I just came to sniff the new appetizers, who knows?)
PS: I also broke a sweat listing six ways to get outta depression– alternatively, to be more of a conqueror– because y'all are always pestering me with asks that go “how do I conquer omg send supplies” (Like, imagine a conqueror saying that! Oh, the crime, the atrocity!)
So yes, you're welcome. Have a feast with this litness.  
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The main reason behind people being so frightfully sad, I’ve found, is a huge lack of fulfillment. We don't do what we love, for either— [ 1 ] we aren’t living life the way we want to (since we keep doing things we feel we're supposed to do) OR [ 2 ] because Mama, Papa and Mrs. Carter next door feel that struggling is the only way, and project their traditional beliefs onto us. Either way, whether or not we consciously realize this, subconsciously, we're all hurting because of it. Badly.
That lingering feeling of emptiness never seems to leave. You feel drained every night when you drop into bed, not because you gave it your all, but because you couldn't. And so, we do the next best thing. Drugs. Maybe not literally, but figuratively. We numb out this subconscious pain by binge watching Netflix shows. We deaden ourselves to that discomfort by reading smut in the bathroom or by playing dumb video games all day. We try (and fail) to extinguish this feeling of not ‘being enough’ by having silly flings or fake friendships.
And ultimately, we NUMB ourselves out to LIFE for we can't bear to live the way we're living. There's a reason why “How to Stop Procrastinating” posts are so popular (they’re a blogger’s most foolproof way of paying the month’s rent, and yes, even I'm guilty of a couple). We’re constantly having FOMO and tuning into others' highlights on social media– completely missing out on our own lives in the process. We fail to realize that the culprit is lack of genuine purpose more than zero self-control (or maybe it’s both, but that’s a tale for another day).
[On a side note, obviously I did generalize a bit– video games can be a passion for you, watching shows a way of winding down. But for most, they’re only DISTRACTIONS, just another way of ignoring the calls of life by hanging up the phone.]
   And here's the bitter truth about depression: The longer you wait to start living authentically, the more you start tuning out the inner cries wanting change, the faster your dreams start to ebb away, and the more you'll want to become insignificant. And to me, that's the scariest part of this journey to my dream life.
Nothing frightens me more than knowing that the moment I stop pushing, the very moment I give in to distractions and fears, my goals will stop manifesting themselves and I'll be stuck in this small town with its small people eternally. And THAT, I'm certain, won't be any more fun than working your way through a soggy ham sandwich, ironic as soggy is what life has become. (Yes, I have a thing against soggy sandwiches. They were a kid's worst lunch nightmare.)
   If you relate, and I’m sure you do (it’s probably why you stopped scrolling through cheesy fanfic for ten minutes to read this, I know you amigo) — here are six ways to NOT be depressed. Or more accurately, to gift wrap yourself some sweet ol’ happiness.
You're a Samurai and the Following Be Your Katanas —
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Hol’ up. The second you reach the End Card, I want you to drop your Cheerios and implement at least THREE of these six strategies. Just follow the Takeaways, I've made this really simple. And as a rule, one of them has to be this one. (Look, don't whine. If you wanna climb outta that dark hole, you gotta put in some effort. So pop that booty, and let’s get down to business!)
Here’s the most truthful, though cheesy thing I’ll ever say: I would be nowhere I am today without this blog. If not for it, I would most likely be weeping in a dug-out hole somewhere, drowning in my salty little pond of tears and chiming every loser’s favorite words (“there's no point”). Creating this blog gave me a definite purpose – putting out fiery content, dipping myself deep into my newly found passion for writing and influencing, and connecting with other conquerors on the platform.  
I meet a lot of folks, whether at Sad School, Mouldy Mall, or Boring Bus stop, who always seem to be in a state of death-inducing boredom. When asked about their favorite thing to do, they’ll mumble “sleep” or “food” like Siri narrating your cat’s evening routine. And then you see adults, dragging through life mindlessly. Utterly clueless, floating like a piece of driftwood in an ocean bubbling with life. My sympathy quota gets overdosed everytime I think about it.
   To spell it out, find something to do. Anything! Learn a language, try some ballet, take pictures of your neighbor's rose garden, make an art piece and show it to your mom, stitch buttons onto shirts for fun, heck, make an entire shirt out of buttons, take a break from reading smut to write your own, frutify your farts, WHATEVER, just get up and move.
And here’s why – nay, not to keep you engaged or make you feel less worthless, not that bullcrap. It’s to put in gear the journey of figuring out what is the shite that you love doing. Too often we get stuck thinking about what our oh-so-great passion is. Get this, passion is energy. A spark for something. A magical fortune cookie which, when cracked, seems to explain everything, gives you the very reason for being alive. You can only feel that fire, that wild love, when you actually do it. So get cracking is all I’ll say!
Takeaway:
Attempt something. Nah, scratch that, imagine you’re in a sweet shop with shelves lined with free samples and try everything. Pick up that Polaroid cam, take that dreaded history course, buy that children’s cooking kit– in short, start working. Pull out all the stops, get curious, and get creative. In the process, if you promise to try hard enough, you WILL (money back guarantee) find out what makes your little heart burst with mad happiness and would willingly do for free, if needed, because you really are that crazy about it. And that, my dear, will be your oh-so-great-indeed passion. Have no doubt, you’ll never be “bored” again.
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Real talk, having a dream is a big deal. And unfortunately, I’ve witnessed, rarely anyone has one to begin with. They’re either more dead than the cheap skeleton I bought for Halloween or believe they have a dream, but in reality, it belongs to mom, dad, or Uncle Sammy. Listen, doing something for someone you love (my Uncle Sammy used to supply me with cold cash whenever he came around, loved that guy) is great! YET, if you’re willing to throw away your life to fulfill others’ expectations, convincing yourself it's because they love you, even when YOUR lonely heart craves bigger things than just a marketing job, then you, my friend? Are the biggest fool. Don’t get offended, we both know it, this girl needn't ramble.
Recently, my relatives were over (nope, sadly not Uncle Sammy) and my cousin and I had a chat about life (correct, I grab every opportunity to do so). It wasn't very exciting I must say, he kept staring off into the distance (I wonder why), but what he SAID is what I'll talk about. After I’d gushed about my dreams, he asked skeptically if being an influencer would still be an ambition two years from now when I graduate. I raised my eyebrows, mock hurt, like eff you son, I ain’t giving up on my dreams! But that question got me thinking.
Life is wild. Unpredictable. An unexpected call, a single person, a random BLOG POST (cough) – can turn your life upside down, sometimes in the affirmative, other times not. This variability of life isn’t uncommon, and everyone experiences some part of it– unpaid student loans, failing startups, talent and art going unnoticed in industries dominated by wealth and connections, you name it. If all of that doesn’t make you run for the Himalayas and abandon any dreams, throw in a quick side dish of dysfunctionale famiglia with a sprinkle of self-image issues.
It ain’t easy, darling. The world is one cruel headmistress; it loves slapping awake the daydreamers and wishful thinkers. That hasn't ever actually stopped the dropouts and class clowns from building castles in the air though. And the common blueprint you notice they follow? Let me introduce you to…  Madness. Obsession. Maniacal obsession, to say. (Yes, I'm done playing with my words.)
   I struggled writing this point. A pestering voice in my head kept mumbling – They'll go back to doing the same sad shit anyway. Um, does anyone even read your posts? Lol, call yourself an influencer, hun. Hesitation started creeping in. Then the irony of the situation struck me. I laughed, shook my head and got back to typing.
We ran out of juicy gossip weeks ago, so here’s your tea served cold: insecurities and self doubt WILL get in the way. That whiny voice was just a mild version of what you face when you go all in. Fear traps you in its cage, and those who prattled behind your back now progress to talking shit in your face. Criticism and self doubt resurfaces, so unless your defenses are strong, you'll be crushed. Destroyed REAL quick.
When hell breaks loose (oh honey, and it WILL), your self defense comprising of maniacal obsession must be well learnt. Let them attack, mock, heck, drag you away from the desk and hurl you at the top of a damn mountain, but you better STILL hike back down, show them the middle finger, and continue working. That's how bulletproof you've gotta be. That's how madly do you have to love your dreams. And if you really think this will be a cake walk or want to continue complaining about Stuart being born with a silver spoon, hop off the train already. Your destination isn't on the tour list.
Look, my dreams terrify me. But they certainly make me feel more alive than complying with what every parent said about getting good grades and holding together a roof on my head. My ambitions set me free, give me a reason to fucking live. And yet, every now and then, something makes me question them. A fear engulfs me, some doubter proclaims I suck, someone I love is so blinded they can't see my vision. And that's okay. My defenses are way stronger. The next day rolls round, and you'll find me hustling again, thriving again. All because I know that even if no one reads my posts (the worst case scenario, I know y'all love me lol), someday in the future, someone will. I know that even if I’m not an influencer yet, if just one reader becomes a conqueror because of my words, it would be a win. A big win. I'd have done my job. All because I’m wildly, yes maniacally, obsessed with my dreams.
So hey, cousin? This influencer thing? This will be my dream long after I've graduated. Till the day I die, and maybe even then I'll rise from my grave to give a dead pal a lively pep talk. My watchtower has just been upgraded, so thank u, next.
Takeaway: 
“General, we've arrived!” Finally! Position those cannons, Martha, let’s talk them through the defenses. All aboard? AHOY MATEY! (wait, that was one for the pirates). Step one, dare to create a dream in your mind’s eye. The bigger, the crazier, and the scarier, the better. Doesn’t matter how impossible it is, don’t care how many voice their opinion against it, just imagine, keep a million possibilities in mind.
Once you see the life you truly want (you’ll know, everything will seem to zing)— have a sip. Become OBSESSED for that life. Thirst after that vision, itch to manifest it, and pine for the satisfaction that’ll come to your soul once it’s made a reality. Fall madly in love with the process and how magical it feel when you do it. And THEN, bellow a loud war cry and charge headfirst into battle, shields held high at all the criticisms. We conquerors never cared much for them anyway.
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(play ♬) Picture this: forehead stamped with beads of sweat. Calloused hands working their fingers to the bone and eyebrows furrowed in deep concentration. Conjure an image where powerful beats are pulsing hard in your ears, synced with your own elevated heartbeats, and you’re thriving. Performing. Winning. Guess the secret to that? Preparation. Champions prepare. You can’t throw anything to the winds or rely on ‘luck’ or chance to conquer.
Tough days are in everyone’s calendar, be it your extra cheerful neighbor, Sally, or lone wolf classmate, Derrick. We’ve all found ourselves sulking over an awful situation, scooping into mint ice cream to forget mistakes, errands, and ghosting exes. Yet guess what? The solution isn’t the proclaimed “be positive!” or “It all happens for a reason, don’t you worry” - the key is coming up with a method to dodge the discouraging effect these hiccups have on us.   
So every bad day, I bring out a mason jar containing a knot of chits and one secret letter which is, on most days, kept hidden on the top shelf of my cupboard. I make myself comfortable on the bed, read all my bits of paper carefully, including the letter addressed to yours truly, close my eyes, and mentally fight back whatever’s bringing me down.
A short while later, I get up, now a warrior, and go slay the rest of the day like it was my last one on this planet. That jar is my jar. A Conqueror’s jar. One look at those powerful reminders, and I’m grounded once again, the beast within me now unleashed to kill.
Takeaway:
Honey, go get yourself a jar. Along with some papyrus and ink. Then start jotting down. Document past victories, future visions, fears that mean zilch to the person you’re about to become, batty goals you’ve still gotta chase, reminders that the majority will never understand what it is you’re tryna do here, and how that’s perfectly alright 'cause you'll find your conquerors, your squad one day. Create your victory jar. And then go knock ‘em down dead. Bad days stand no chance against you. You’re a winner, a fucking rebel. Go take what’s yours.
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Y’know, I’m perfectly aware that many muggles reading this will whine that dealing with depression ain’t no piece o’ pie and it’s hella hard to get up and take the crown when you feel like a pile of dino dung.
Stop it. Get some help. (See what I did? Like Michael- ok ok, calm thyself.) For real though, and I’m tired of repeating this with my kitten stamped microphone (but I’ll keep at it ‘cause it’s that significant) – whining is WORTHLESS. It saps up precious energy that could be used to make life a scrumptious smoothie. (Loothie? As in life + smoothie? Right, yes, I’m shutting up.)
And even THEN, we find denizens complaining about slow WiFis and thin crust pizzas and how the market’s down and the government’s incompetent. Because blabbering makes us feel important. Heard. But keeping yo’ trap shut and actually doing stuff? Hustling for your dreams when nobody’s watching? Actually walking the talk? C’mon, Emma, don't be naive, ain’t nobody getting recognition for that.
Trust me, I get it. The world is yet to become a feminist, turns out your boyfriend was cheating on you while you were looking up wedding dresses, mommy’s a drunk loser, and idiots are being voted into office. It’s a lot to handle. But thanks to our immense and ever increasing population (we folks really love our rumpy pumpy, can you tell) — there will surely be one chum, facing exactly the same misfortunes as you, but still turning up at every party and bulk-spamming his friends with puppy pictures while you sit and wail. (One Moaning Myrtle is enough, thank you very much.)
Look, I’m not undermining your worries or obstacles. I’m only reminding that you have the marvelous choice of positivity. To CHOOSE hope and a better future when others won't. To FIND (and it's always possible) something to look forward to even when the to-do’s a big snore. To KNOW, deep inside, that you're a magnificent conqueror, no matter what mess you’re in at the moment, and that the world dances to your rhythm. Realise that it's up to you to let yourself be happy. At any moment, you have the very say-so to get up and start rocking. Dumbledore said it himself, “It is our choices, that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities.” So choose better, and you’ll unconsciously do better as well. And yes, that being said, this is the last HP reference, don't fret. Be positive instead. (Edit: Ha, look at these quips, the girl's all grown up now.)
Takeaway: 
Your new occupation is to be a sunflower. If you think back, you'll probably recall Miss Honey rattling on about phototropic movement in AP biology. No? Me neither. Point is, sunflowers always face the sun. Put them ANYWHERE, hide them in the dungeons, throw them in a trash bag and shoot it off to the moon, they’ll still turn around and face the sun. No matter what. And taking inspo from that, you too can stop scripting creative soliloquies for being depressed. Happiness is YOUR right, YOUR priority, don't let anyone take it away from you or diminish its importance. DON’T let sadness ruin your vibe, do what you've gotta do to protect yourself. Track happiness in yo’ journal, set 84 reminders on your phone, and tattoo “Long as you’re beaming up at the sun, all the shadows will be left behind” on your boobs. Do whatever, just don’t turn the corners of your mouth down. You’re so pretty this way.
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The other day, I was doing the deathly Plié Alternative Heel Lifts (these names, I swear) and my legs felt dead. Gone. Put to sleep like the Wicked Witch of the East. Now obviously, the timer wasn’t not even halfway done yet, but my cheeks were already flushing red like dear Santa, and NOT because I was high on choco chip cookies. I sighed, and at that point, I was so over giving up. All this while, I’d been whining and protesting because my muscles felt sore, but in that moment, I made up my mind. I bit my lip and kept going. On and on. Keep pulsing, you got it, don't stop, was the mantra I kept chanting.
   Won’t sugarcoat it, I honestly hadn’t died this much since that time Miss Honey buried me alive with trig assignments. My legs were now basically Play-doh and I was shaking, fighting for balance. A few seconds in though, something crazy happened. My legs went numb. My grumbling mind quietened and the pain vanished. That evening, I had the upper hand, not my physical perceptions of myself. I was powerful. Flawless. (Hey Santa, do you even lift bro?) Real talk, I was in the Zone, bitches.
I’m not sure if that was the result of excessive pain or because Wonder Woman’s spirit possessed ma bod, but staying loyal to my love for metaphors, I’ll use the experience to explain what I’m tryna get at here.
   Look, here’s the real deal — if all of the greats gave up the second things got frowny, we probably would have no one to worship. Nix role models, nix inspirations, none to stalk on Insta - we’d all be bumbling about like Sad from the even sadder Emoji movie (no shade, emojis be lit).
And that'd be very sad (pun definitely intended). Hence, cue some tangible ways to boosting your grit, so that you can be your own superhero:
1) Get yo’self a goddamn motto,
2) Know your “Why,”
3) Repeat the cycle till it’s in your blood. Btw, Shawn, if you here, I’m still a single pringl—HEY PAL I SEE YOU, DON'T SCROLL.
Seriously, don't brush these prime steps aside. We're always going for the advanced modes, and deeming these basic levels a waste of time. Well guess what, compadre, YOUR LIFE IS A GODDAMN WASTE O’ TIME IF YOU DON'T HAVE YOUR BASICS RIGHT. Excuse my outburst, but listen. You can’t do a hundred bicep curls on your first workout if you haven't lifted anything more than a crisps packet. Likewise, if you simply jump into Life one day, and decide “ok, here it is, 12 habits to build, sleep schedule to fix, man to ask out, let's go,” you ain't getting nowhere, chum. Start small. Take baby steps. It's clearly not as fun (definitely negates the bragging on Facebook part of it) but it'll stick. You’ll create a consistency that not even Grandma's cake batter can achieve.
1. Talking mottos — For context, a motto that I always mutter (my mom thinks I'm cursing, oh what a bad child) every time I spill milk while making coffee is “Do more. Give more. BE more.” Not only does it help me stay right on track for the rest of the day but it helps me clean up my mess, figuratively and otherwise, or I’d just be sitting in a puddle of spilt milk, cursing adulting for real this time and with more laundry to do.
2. Why you need the Big Why — Owning up, I’m guilty of attempting to learn Welsh for less than 48 hours because I hadn't a single reason to speak the language. A similar thing happened with half of my 2018 resolutions, which had a bunch of rubbish like “Floss daily”, something my eyes got trained to skip because, um, who the hell flosses every day?
Lame humor aside, I still workout almost daily because I have my Why straight. 1) I want to feel good about my body and get closer to the confident badass I envision my future self to be, 2) I simply HAVE to sustain my health to live to build my legacy and fulfill my dreams of opening a bakery at 90 and 3) Because I’m an influencer, and want to walk my talk and be the inspiration people need. Those are the reasons as to why I turn up to my yoga mat everyday, shut my jabbering mind, and keep on pulsing. This “Why” strategy applies to everything. Wanna get outta depression? Why? Wanna lose 20 pounds? Why? Wanna listen to your dentist’s desperate pleadings and floss already? WHY EH? Unless you know your intentions, you’ll give up at the first chance you get to not act on your goals. And watch out, because there'll be a LOT of those.
For me, leaving a legacy behind means more than having a slice of cake or missing a workout because there’s a fun movie playing. Find what's important to YOU, make it your why, and go marry your goals.
3. And then, Repeat — Bear in mind, if you're not living your best life yet, there are NO weekends. NO work-shy days. No weak days, no pick-me-up days, no eat-candy-do-nothing days. Everyday is a damn Monday. EVERYDAY is life or death. Every holy day you wake up is a chance to push your limits, challenge your mindset, and see how far you can go. And every 24 hours, when the cycle starts again, it’s your mission to race to build a stronger, wiser and crazier you.
And who knows, perhaps one day, you and I will just be casually sipping tea in our dream home, laughing at how the milk is still being spilt but knowing, proudly, fiercely, that we’ve come so far, even though there’s still more left to do, more to give and so much more to be.
Takeaway: 
Quit quitting. You're, guaranteed, 20x stronger than you think. I doubted I could go through with the workout, it seemed beyond my present physical capabilities. But I did, because I treated it as life or death. Understand this, the second you start making excuses, for being depressed, for taking an unnecessary day off - you give away your power. You are a very powerful being. You're limitless, capable of everything.
I'm not throwing these words around to make you feel cute, I actually mean AND believe them. There’s so much that's been done already— the iconic four minute mile by Roger Bannister, invention of the light bulb, cars, toothpaste and other junk, people who lost both legs and climbed Mt. Everest, we sent a man to moon in frickin’ 1969 (50 YEARS ago), some ran a 26 mile marathon with zero training, love and hope is still strong in this world, oh let's also add coffee and motivational music— and YOU think you can't finish a workout or get outta depression or meet your idols or marry the man of your dreams or become the artist you wanna be? Ridiculous. Don't give away your power that easily, this ain't no charity shop.
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(play ♬) Having personally dealt with unwelcome yet familiar feelings of emptiness quite often, I’ve now reached a point where each bad day is simply a reminder of how long my journey ahead is, and just how badly I want to reach my destination.
We finally near the end of this novel of a post (thanks for sticking around, bud), and my best advice would be this: Rather than wallowing in self pity and throwing one-man parties because your life is so awfully dreadful, know that even when life throws you to the floor, long as you can look up, long as you can read an entire book about defeating depression (cough)– you can GET UP too. Let those emotions of sorrow and frustration blaze up into a roaring, crackling fire that doesn’t consume you, but instead, urges you, fuels you.
Lately, no matter how much shit I go through, how many arguments I tumble into, or how barren my dreams look sometimes, I don’t break down. And no, it wasn't always like this. I never even had aspirations to name two years ago. Six months back, it had become a night routine to cry. Not anymore.
Now, every setback and every failure only pushes me to be stronger and give more than I ever gave. The day I made the decision to Conquer (truly, madly, deeply, with all of my heart) was also the day I said a big, loud ‘fuck you’ to every resistance that was to cross my path. I had finally understood that life was nothing but a battle of WILLS, that it was all in or nothing, and I made up my mind once and for all to NEVER give in to depression, or to society, or to anyone who tells me I cannot make it.
I had conquered depression. There was no looking back now.
Takeaway: 
Here’s something no one will tell you: the key to bringing depression to its knees is seeing it positively. Pretend that it's a friend continuously sending strong, aggressive signals urging you to be happy. And what do you do when a caring friend throws some holy light? You listen, push past your ego, and follow accordingly.
And if that parallel seems unconvincing, here's another one (sup, DJ Khaled. This post is turning musical, sorry): it's scared of you. Depression is scared shit of you. Y'know how bullies are, right? Majorly insecure, self-loathing too perhaps, hardly fans of self love, and always trying to numb all that subconscious pain by inflicting pain on others. Depression has the same instruction manual. Your fears and doubts are your (pathetic) bullies, and depression is the big ol’ crony who does the dirty work for 'em.
Whenever you decide shit this is it, I'm going for it, they go paranoid and try stopping you because they've seen no better. And if they succeed, BOOM, you're depressed, paralyzed, your qualms reigning over you again. Don't let them in. I'll say it a thousand times if I gotta because I want (HAVE) to see you conquer – you're so much stronger than you think you are. You can do so much more than you think. It's all in your head! Don't just sit there, click away, and go back to living a sad life. You’re better than that. DO better than that. You’re meant to freaking CONQUER, straight-up dominate, my pal. Pay heed to that voice craving freedom. You got this. And you better know it.
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One thing’s fixed like the (beloved by all) proportionality constants in Physics, you will come across depressing mornings and sluggish evenings even in the future. I assure you. Lots o’ bad hair days in the calendar, sis. But here's what you’ll do: you'll deactivate the miserable thoughts, keep a cool head, remind yourself that this is yet another test (better, rap your new mantra) and USE that hurt, pain, and anger to create a fervor and passion that wreaks havoc on its obstacles and drives you to accomplish EVERYTHING you've ever wanted to do. The easy choice would be to just give up, bellyache about the situation, and want sympathy for your worries. Yet, what you'll never do is… exactly that.
Rule 1) NEVER give up. Stand your ground. Have faith in your strength. Know that you'll have your way soon enough anyway. Rule 2) NEVER complain. All it does is drain your energy, that precious fire you could to high jump your way into the clouds. Makes you a pathetic wimp too, definitely not something you want on a warrior’s resume. Lastly, Rule 3) NEVER seek validation. From anyone. It sure feels nice to be acknowledged and encouraged, but grasp this— this is your journey. YOUR life and YOUR vision. Validation won't get you anywhere, for there'll never be enough of it.
Cuz Marty, if you're tryna bring something new, different, and authentic into this world – you'll most likely be hated on badly, before you'll be loved madly (hi, me a rapper). Learn to invite hate instead—IMPORTANT: hate from others, not yourself. Sounds counterintuitive, but this is the real tea: hate is good. It means you're standing up for something, refusing to fit like a puzzle piece in society, and being UNAPOLOGETICALLY yourself. And it’s certainly a sign that you’re on the right path if you can ignore that hate and stick your tongue out at it.  
Yet another reason to never seek validation is simply this: you have to fight for yourself. In order to meet your own expectations, reach the doorstep of the best version of you, and transform this world, you'll have to go wildly IN. Toil and hammer away. Shut out all the haters and non-believers, listening only to your gut. Importantly, learn to accept the rejection slips, validating yourself not with what Molly says about it being okay, but with the reminder that your time is coming soon. Depend on yourself. Validation will NEVER be enough.
I get it, it's a lot of homework, but perhaps you already realize that it’s THIS work that'll change your life forever. Not “how to not procrastinate, Jesus take the wheel” or “HELLO, life's a mess so here are ten things to do (you won't believe number four!)”. Clickbaits don't work, stop believing that a fancy planner is going to be your savior. There is no rule to making your life a masterpiece. You'll have to get to know yourself and your dreams (journaling, meditation, silent pondering), build the work ethics and the mentality needed (lots of work in this one, yet no strict framework to go about it) and GET GOING.
AND with that firework, I'll begin to slip away now. Again, I won’t say it’s easy, that’s cock and bull. Life’s no fairytale. You will never feel ready to start bringing your dreams to fruition. But, my darling (I’m being so nice yo, follow me), you must. You must force yourself to work for the future you want till it becomes a habit, an obsession. The world badly needs heroes; confident people who can stand for themselves so that others can stare at first, maybe even hate a little, but then follow because they seem unstoppable and are, truthfully, having the most fun at life. YOU'RE one of them. No validation, just plain facts.
You see, conquering is a LOT of blood and sweat (K-pop, anyone? BTS? Lmao, this is me tryna clickbait y'all to read). Even getting up will seem huge when you're just starting out, and this is one long road, dear pal. Still then, I have enough faith in you to hope you don't give into your fears, I hope you willingly chase discomfort, and I hope you find the courage to do all that you want to do, while that heart's still beating.
I hope you conquer. I'll do too, and I'd really like to see some familiar faces during the ride.
Peace, amigo.
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A loud ass A/N: And now, we come the most important part of this post. WAKE UP Luke, stop snoring, and take some notes. Remember kids, I won't accept anything but an A.
   If you couldn’t identify yourself throughout this post and currently are scoffing like um woman, that's not really why I'm depressed, hang in there a sec. Yes, you can stop singing It Ain’t Me now. You've a very nice voice by the way.
I'm not a doctor, and I don't have enough exposure to know why so many earthlings are depressed today. HOWEVER, by talking to many, following their stories, watching and reading stuff – I do know with firm conviction that a majority suffers from severe unfulfillment. Don't believe me? A study shows 85% of the working class worldwide hate their jobs. Do you realize what that actually means? EIGHTY-FIVE PERCENT of the THREE BILLION PEOPLE employed today, hate being employed in the first place! They do it for prime survival, to sustain themselves. And that's just jobs. I won't scare you, but 50% (yes, HALF, you heard that right) of students HATE going to school. Kids waste SEVEN hours of their life every day going somewhere they dislike, doing something they hate. Who's singing now?
People find themselves trapped in golden handcuffs, taking the paycheck despite the passionless job. They push aside the art and business they love, to become a slave of good ol’ cash. Several surround themselves with negativity and get frustrated when unable to escape the choking (no, not THAT kind again, hello someone pour holy water over this post) atmosphere. An innumerable are forced into taking up courses that they don't care about under parental pressure. The reasons are endless, and I don't think I'll amuse myself listing all the sad excuses.
This has always been the story. Hundreds of influencers have preached the same words I’m tryna put into your head here and you’ll yourself say you’ve heard this a million times. YET, you’re dissatisfied. YET, you feel like crap everyday, feeding yourself the same lie that the next day will be better, that you’ll get up tomorrow– while you let life beat the shit out of you.
That’s why, all of my words, everything you’ve read today - all of that boils down to just one single question. A difficult but necessary choice. Will you let this happen to YOU? Will you, seriously, even after this wild ride together, go back to doing nothing and being nothing? Will you, for real, continue deceiving yourself, sacrifice your happiness for the sake of pleasing everyone else, and remain a statistic on a website?
   (play ♬) If you’re not sure of your answer, read: Look, making you feel guilty is not my intention, because that’s not how this works. I need you to understand instead. Guilt wears off, it’s only understanding that brings about change. So, just for old times’ sake, I’ll rant a bit more (ik, just can’t seem to leave y’all).
You’re so, so young right now. More than half of your life is yet to be experienced. None of this probably makes much impact right now but it will the day you die. Remember, on your deathbed, you won't EVER look back and say, “Damn, wish I'd spent more time at the office. Saved up just one more dollar. Could’ve got that promotion before Amy.” Nay, it won’t even be on the calendar. That day, one foot in the grave, you'll reflect and wonder why the heck you didn’t let yourself be happier. Why you took up that lacklustre, soul-sucking architect job when all you've ever wanted to do is keep laughing. Why you didn't ask your crush out, why you were so afraid to walk up to that audition, because dammit, you could’ve been running your own comedy show by now. Why you dragged around a karaoke machine all this time instead of singing your own song. Why you couldn’t love yourself. Why you submitted. Why.
And the moment you realize that you hadn't lived a life for you, you’ll be crushed. Broken. The arthritis in your grannie joints won't even compare and neither will the mild dissatisfaction you’re feeling right now. Those whys will haunt you, they'll terrorize you, break you. It'll hurt tremendously to know that there isn't a single thing in your long life that you could call completely your own.
 With every death today so many dreams are left unachieved, crazy things left unchecked on the bucket list, and unique potential left unexpressed.
DON'T let that be you. Please. I'm still a mess myself, struggling to reach class on time and studying subjects that aren't exactly fun, when all I want to do is create content (read: fireworks) that is at a level of insanity, influence folks to do better, hold crazy world tours and meet-and-greets to give hugs, and get an adorable puppy so I can create a dogstagram (yes, I'm that mom). Sure, I could declare it's too hard, hang onto small-minded and negative people who whine endlessly, and follow the crowd, getting lost in it, with ease.
But I won’t because I can’t take the burden of those regrets. That painful unrest and discontent that nothing could cure, not drugs, alcohol, buddies, not even true love. For then I’d be just another drone, my controller in the hands of society, forcing me to see the world through its eyes. I can’t give in because I’m scared, terrified even, of wasting away this one life doing the bidding of others- folks who won't even notice when I’m gone.
It’s easy to be depressed and crib your entire life. It’s easy to think you’re worthless and that trying is pointless since nothing ever goes your way.
But perhaps, if you rise, if you simply DECIDE to have the audacity to fight for what you believe in, if you work and focus on becoming better, things will go your way. Life will bend to you, in awe, at your incredible relentlessness. Life will take one look at you, wonder who the fuck is this person? How the fuck are they so incapable of giving up? And back right away. And then perhaps, life will be such a blast for you that depression would become the past you never had.
   I know you can get there, conqueror. It’s time you knew it too.
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🌚🌝 Further reading? 🌝🌚
Last Post :— How To Get Back Into The Creative Process – For you, if you're in a creative rut. Get outta it and go create magic!
5 Reasons Why You're Unhappy — To help you identify & cut out CURRENT sources of sadness so that you can spice up yo’ life with some happiness instead. Definitely recommend reading AND implementing.
The Bubble Trap & How To Get Out Of It — One of my classics. Everyone is in one of these 'bubbles’ till they consciously do something about it; that's just how it is. Are you still in one? (Someone teach me marketing, lmao.)
The 5 Biggest Regrets of The Dying (from Greatist) — I LOVED reading this. Pretty much all you need to cut the crap and do meaningful stuff. Read it, memorize it, work it.
++ Want to request a blog post? Leave your request in my ask box! I'll get back to you with a reply, along with the average time I'll need to birth that magical idea.
Thanks for dropping by! It was a pleasure to have you around. If you wish to stick for a bit, I'd suggest picking one of the related posts mentioned above.
If you wanna check out my blog, here's a little something about me (y'all know I love the attention). What do I write about? Three arenas I dominate, Work, Lifestyle and Life, they are, my mate! Take your pick!
I post new blog posts bi-weekly, and my wins, & journal entries throughout the week, so follow me if you're into conquering life, leaving a legacy and being the baddest badass you can possibly be. I'll be your side pal, cheering you along.✨
And that was it, it's a wrap! Martha, shut the cams, Henry, pause the audio, and Nandita, I know you're pretending to be deaf, but Mom's yelling something about doing the dishes. Better skip along.
And you, fellow conqueror? Keep slaying life, doing the work and making it count. I hope you're well, stay strong and go conquer life. ✧
I'm sending you so much love, see you soon.
— Nandini 💌 (´。• ᵕ •。`) ♡
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gotatext · 5 years
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TASK OO1 / OOC SURVEY.
[kermit voice] hallo.... its me 
YOUR ALIAS & NICKNAMES — nora
AGE — 23
TIMEZONE — gmt
PREFERRED PRONOUNS — she/her
MBTI — enfp-infp border cos im an introvert who Masquerades as an extrovert :)
HP HOUSE — i spent 10 yrs of my life thinkin i was gryffindor.... to find out.... huffle....puff...... 
ARE YOU A STUDENT? WHAT DO YOU STUDY? — i fuckin wish! being a student was dope af i got stressed about essays like once a month and apart from that i was just chillin, surrounded by really intelligent people every day n livin it up on the party scene. adult life fucking sucks no one wants to have fun cos we all work fuckin tonnes of hours so we can afford to eat and get paid peanuts xx
ARE YOU ENJOYING IT? — im really afraid of bein one of those jock types who peaked in high school but i deff peaked in uni like 100% i was way more interesting 2 years ago
LINKS TO OTHER ACCOUNTS & SOCIAL MEDIA — im not showin u my instagram bc im a fuckin embarassment but this is pinterest , this is my personal blog, this is my writing / 1x1 blog i never use any more n this is my trash talking twitter where i mostly just cry about timothee chalamet and bash the tories. 
DISCORD USER — kristine’s forehead vein#8664
WHAT IS YOUR FAVOURITE FICTION GENRE? — i dont read fanfiction much but when i do u can be sure it’s slow burn angsty enemies to lovers mutual pining heart attack every time one of them accidentally brushes the other’s hand
TOP FIVE FAVOURITE FILMS — suspiria (2018 luca guadagnino version rogue i kno but i prefer the remake), the lobster, before sunrise, baz luhrmann romeo + juliet, eternal sunshine of the spotless mind,  thoroughbreds (REC!! so underwatched pls watch it. compelling female characters), hunt for the wilderpeople (also so underwatched), swiss army man, call me by your name, atonement, moonrise kingdom, trainspotting, the florida project. i rlly like films ok
A BOOK YOU FEEL “CHANGED” YOU? — the song of achilles by madeline miller n also fen by daisy johnson
A MOVIE YOU THINK ABOUT OFTEN? — booksmart cos its fuckin dope
WHAT IS YOUR SIGN? — libra
ARE YOU INTO ASTROLOGY? —  i like to pretend im super invested in it mostly to anger my friends but tbh.... i just use it as a rough guide for character creation.... its fun but i dnt .... fully invest in what it has to say..... altho i am the most unbalanced n indecisive bitch on earth so i guess they got that right !! i just live to please baybeyy!
WHAT PLATFORMS HAVE YOU ROLEPLAYED ON? — tumblr for about 8 year (omg) n before tht facebook..... i was very embarassingly in a twilight rp..... i wrote jane..... i also rped as a scene kid oc n when i was like 12 i was on some weird forum harry potter roleplay where i basically played a self insert with georgie henley as the fc......
WHAT OTHER HOBBIES DO YOU HAVE? — i used to have so many hobbies but now i jst lie in my bed staring at the ceiling. but before i was workin like a dog i loved reading, writing, acting in theatre productions..... going out on the town getting bevved..... big druggy EDM nights in warehouses tht probably weren’t liscenced for tht many ppl..... gigs... costume-design and making, spoken word poetry, acrylic painting n rollerskating but my sister broke my skates abt two years ago in vengeance and i’ll never forgive her that fuckin bitch
HAVE ANY PETS? IF SO, TALK ABOUT THEM! — no my landlord is a fascist
IS THERE A TV SHOW YOU RECOMMEND A LOT? — i’ll never stop reccing euphoria!! also i was pleasantly surprised by looking for alaska!! but i also rlly like bob’s burgers, parks and rec, good omens.... black mirror, n sharp objects. lovesick on bbciplayer (n netflix i think) is also rlly fun
ANY SHOWS YOU LIKE SOME MIGHT BE SURPRISED TO HEAR THAT YOU DO? — maybe love island, idk if i talk abt that much bc i am ashamed but i am so obsessed with it. i even got the love island game n got so invested in my fictional relationship w bobby tht i had to delete it
WHAT WAS THE LAST BOOK YOU READ? WOULD YOU RECOMMEND IT? — god god... i haven’t finished a book in ages.... i recently started reading milkman by anna burns, the bees by laline paull and everything under by daisy johnson.... bt the last book i read cover to cover was probs circe. defs read it. feminist and witchy
CURRENTLY READING? — i jst said this but the bees, everything under and less so milkman cos im finding milkman a bit tough
LAST FILM? REC IT? — i watched ladyworld the lord of the flies all-female remake n even maya hawke could not save it.... dnt get me wrong from an art film point of view i loved it but it felt a bit underdeveloped n a level media studies for me..... apart from tht?? the runaways (yorkshire film not released yet at a preview screening) and threads (also a yorkshire film from the 80s about nuclear apocalypse)
THREE MOVIES YOU NEED TO WATCH — portrait of a lady on fire, i work at an independent cinema n we recently had a preview screening and everyone said it was SICK, uhhhh short term 12, n the new eliza scanlen movie babyteeth
WHAT MOVIE DO YOU THINK YOU’VE SEEN THE MOST TIMES? — madagascar because when i was 12 my parents bought me a little television with a dvd player in it for my birthday and madagascar was the only dvd i owned for like..... the first two years of havin the absolute luxury of a tv in my room so i just used to watch it all the time n i now basically know the script inside out
WHAT ALWAYS PUTS YOU IN A GOOD MOOD? — nothing, life is pointless n i hate fun, let me rot in peace
WHO IS YOUR FAVOURITE MUSICIAN / BAND? LIST IF THERE ARE MORE THAN ONE. — ughhh god probably lcd soundsystem. gorillaz, the streets, tame impala, talking heads, soft hair, i also love lizz tho n also angry twangy guitar girl bands like girlpool, courtney barnett, best coast, cherry glazerr,
WILD NIGHT OUT OR QUIET NIGHT IN? — quiet night in my party days are over i cant even be bothered to go to the shops if its past 4.30pm and dark these days
ANY PHOBIAS? — clowns n rats
DO YOU LIKE BUGS? — absolutely not
BIRDS? — yes but not if they fly in my face
ARE YOU A CAT OR DOG PERSON? BOTH? — i love both i want one 
BIGGEST PET PEEVE? — tory middle aged boomers who treat me like actual shit on their shoe because i work in the service industry like thats my choice and their poor economic decisions didnt mean i have to do a shitty job to afford to live bcos of austerity n cuts to arts funding meaning i cant get a job writing unless i self-fund :)))
FAVOURITE THING ABOUT THE RPC? — that everyone ive met through rp is a fuckin LAFF
TOP TEN FAVE FCS TO USE? — god .... diana silvers, timothee chalamet, margaret qualley, kristine froseth, froy gutierrez, zendaya, elle fanning, astrid berges frisbey, hunter schafer, leonardo dicaprio
FIVE YOU LIKE WRITING AGAINST? — herman tomeraas, hunter schafer, saoirse ronan, timothee chalamet, froy gutierrez
FAVOURITE TYPE OF FOOD? — linda mccartney 1/2pounder mozzarella veggie burgers, sweet potato wedges, tomato soup, mozzarella sticks, brownies
WORST FOOD? — green things like broccoli n sprouts gross. baked beans cos as a kid ppl used to do baked bean baths for comic relief / red nosed day a lot n i thought when they were finished in the baked bean bath they just put all the cold beans back in the tin. actually anything small that moves around on your plate. peas. spaghetti. sweetcorn. i dont like small things i cant control.
DO YOU PLAY VIDEOGAMES? IF SO, WHAT ONES AND ON WHAT PLATFORM DO YOU PREFER? — last year my housemate had an xbox n i went through a phase of obsessively playin fable 3 it was amazing. i had like 5 husbands and 3 wives and loads of kids but they all ended up leavin me cos i spent so much time out doing quests neglecting them
ANYTHING ELSE YOU’D LIKE TO SHARE WITH THE TAG? — this
LASTLY, HOW DID YOU FIND US? — im one of those bitches who was in this grp all the way back when it was swipe... so quirky and original!! i knew the band before u! anyway im goin now this has been sufficiently embarassing..... i am lame
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gojuo · 5 years
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tagged by cutie @ohyoungjae thank u bby ♥
The rules are:
Tag the person who tagged you.
Answer the questions.
Tag 10 people
How tall are you?
155cm / 5′1 ....... im gonna cry i want to be tall SOOOO BADDDDD
What colour and style is your hair?
brown blackish + that middle eastern wavy hair. its up till my shoulders.... omg who remembers back when i was 15 and crying my eyes out on here bc i literally lost all my hair (i swear to god someone gave me nazar i just know someone did......) AND NOW MY HAIR IS FINALLY GROWING BACK LIKE.... GIMME A SECOND IM GONNA CRY!!!!!!!
What colour are your eyes?
brownnnnnnn
Do you wear glasses?
used to... i only wear contacts now
Do you wear braces?
no but i used back when i was like 12
What is your fashion style?
casual chic? like skinny jeans w blouses and long coats plus sneakers
Full name?
am i supposed to put my last name here lmfao........... my full first name is melda i dont have a middle name
When were you born?
january 29th ! mark it down hoes!!! AQUARIUS RIGHTS!!!!!!!!!!!!
Where are you from and where do you live now?
im turkish but i was born n raised in the netherlands (pray for me that i can find my way in life and leave this country PLEASE)
What school do you go to?
i go to uni first year
What kind of student are you?
uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh in hs? procrastinated a lot was a bit of a problem kid but at least unlike a girl in my year i never sat in class while being high..... i was smart tho i did what i had to do... in uni im still a procrastinator leaving my hw for the night before but i still get my shit done when it needs to be done
Do you like school?
ehhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh i hated hs for the reasons i think almost everyone on here did (all the cool kids r on insta lmao and us losers are here ....) i like uni.. life is different im a lot more grown and more at peace w my life but i also barely have time to breathe since im busy w school like 24/7 :///////
Favourite subject?
in hs i think it was art... everyone that did art always had to finish projects after school so all different classes would come together in the art rooms to finish the projects and my crush from a different class would sometimes be busy w his works when i was too and it was fun working w him n talking n stuff ... lol..................................................................................................
Favourite TV show?
avatar the last airbender................. god there really will never be anything better than atla huh ????
Favourite movie?
sword of the stranger !!!
Favourite books?
THE WITCHER !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I WILL NEVER SHUT UP ABT THE WITCHER 🗣️🗣️🗣️🗣️🗣
Favourite pastime?
bro im so busy w school i literally dont even have time to breathe....... i like reading and making gifs and going out w friends to shop and eat u know
Do you have any regrets?
lmao youre asking me this ? ......... shoulda seen me in my teen years on here lmao
Dream job?
ha........ that dreams dead
Would you like to get married?
as much as i hate love ....... yeah ://////
Would you like to have kids?
god i literally hate being the turkish stereotype but.... YEAH BITCH!!!!!!!!! GOD !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
How many?
two.. one boy one girl and preferably them being twins so i dont have to get pregnant again lmfao that shits scary as hell
Do you like shopping?
UHHHHHHH SADLY......
What countries have you visited?
belgium germany france turkey and then bc we go to turkey by car sometimes ive driven through many european countries but never really “visited” so ://///
Scariest nightmare you have ever had?
i dont remember any of the dreams ive ever had lol
Any enemies?
yeah that bitch yg and his shitty management
Any significant others?
mark tuan ... if ur out there
Do you believe in miracles?
i believe in god
How are you?
going thru the motions as always !
can yall believe i tag ppl ??? i never do that lmao but anyways which ones r my friends i literally cant keep track:
@wishingformemoria @bleshilegend @sophrosynes @yeabeom @jacksonurs @kangdonghos @girllgroup @huiracha @jacksonurs @poc7
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dailysarina · 5 years
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The Sarina Project
Ok so I gotta put a little A/N at the start of this one beacuse I realized I have to make a litttttllllleee change to this story. Soz. Annyywaaayyyy... I’ve decided to change the POV from first person to third person, which I know is probably SUPER annoying for you but I promise this chapter would work better if it was not just from Karina’s POV. So I hope y’all are ready for some ~e p i c~ punk!Sarah thoughts ^-^
The Sarina Project
Chapter 18: I Hate My Freinds
“Are you sure your ready to do this?” Emily viciously inquired of DJ, who just happened to be sitting next to her. (A/N: Remember, Karina is NOT narrating this she is NOT HERE hehe ^-^)
“Are you kidding??? I’m literally James Bond,” DJ said, popping the p. “I’ve snuck into like 15 classrooms already this year.”
“OMG ME TOO!” Emily said back in response to DJ.
“Ya exactly we snuck into those classrooms together,” DJ unimpressedly said. They both laughed at Emily’s forgetfulness.
“Haha,” she laughed, giggling.
“Ok lets go,” DJ said, immediately jumping into a James Bond somersault and kicking the door to the classroom. Emily crept in behind him, her greenish, hazelish, slightly brown speckled balls of sight gazing over the cold, lifeless, OPPRESSIVE, torture seats... aka... DESKS. (A/N: hahahahhahaha I hate school sum1 halp plz 😭😂)
“There’s no one in here,” Emily said after about ten minutes observations.
“Wow it’s not like I can see the exact same classroom,” DJ sarcastically quipped back at her in such a tone that only DJ could recreate.
“Just get to the desk,” Emily said, deciding to suddenly use her gymnastics skills to backflip across the room and onto the teacher’s desk.
“Wow I, definitely good enough for the olympics if I can do that,” Emily said, obviously very very proud of her recent accomplishments. Ever since she was two days and fifteen hours and 32 minutes old, she had wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. Gymnastics was her LAIFE!! (A/N: Chipotle is laiiifffeee heh XD). DJ rolled his brown orbs he used for seeing almost every day back into his head at Emily’s showyoffiness and walked over to the same teachers desk Emily was standing on.
“I saw Mrs. Bersbedasukeon put the paper with our group project partners on the third drawer from the bottom on the right said,” DJ told Emily, DABBING and pointing toward the correct drawer. Emily pulled open the drawer and grabbed the single piece of paper sitting on there. A piece of paper that could change the life of ALL THE NAMES ON IT. This paper would be the most sacred thing Emily would touch in a long time.
“This piece of paper is so precious,” Emily hugged the paper to her chest while violently popping her p’s.
“Just switch the names!!!!,!!!!!!!” DJ annoyingly said, banging on the desk to gain Emily’s attention back. Emily nodded and started whiting out a few names on the paper with... WHITE OUT; which she had conveniently stashed in her coat pocket and had just pulled out for this specific reason.
(A/N: okiiii idk how to describe this next part because it always plays like a movie in my head... if that makes sense... IDK. But anyway I’m gonna write this next part like a script so it’s easier for y’all to understand. Remember dailysarina cares about her followers!!! ;))
Emily: *quickly runs white out over a few ^convenient^ names*
DJ: *rewrites the new group partners aS THEY SHOULD BE*
“Good. That’s good,” Emily said as DJ forged the teachers’ handwriting. Then the super sneaky spy duo (A/N: “Nice use of alliteration” -Mr. Scoggins, my English teacher haha jk I would DIE if he read this lol xD) left the classroom until the next day.
THE NEXT DAY............,,....
I enter through the doorway to my art class, brushing my newly dyed pink hair out of my eyes and adjusting my lilac colored flower crown. ‘I wonder if Sarah will notice my hair?’ I wonder. Wait. WHY DID I THINK THAT?? Ugh this is so annoying. Sarah is literally the scariest person I’ve ever seen and yet I am CONSTANTLY worried about what she thinks of me. What is up with that?? It probably just because I’m a weird person, and that’s what weird people do. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
“Ew your hair looks like a fairy threw up on it,” Sarah quipped at me the second I walked in the room, without even making eye contact. What the heck?!??,.! Why is she so MEAN? “You also look like that girl from LazyTown.” OH THAT’S IT.
“Yeah, well... you look like Susie from DELTARUNE!” I screamed back at her, crossing my arms in satisfaction. I can’t believe I actually stood up to her! She didn’t get mad and punch me in the face like I thought she would. She didn’t even yell another insult back at me. She just smiled a bit, and went back to drawing a skull and cross bones on her ripped jeans with eyeliner. I skip over to a giggling Emily and DJ, who were sitting at the table next to Sarah, and sit down, fluffing the skirt of my light pinkish salmon dress as I sit.
“What are you laughing about?” I say to my freinds, who seem to be cackling about something I don’t know about. Are they laughing at me?? I wouldn’t be surprised if they were, considering all my old friends at my old school started bullying me for being weird. UGH! WHy is being weird so hard in high school??
“Nooooiittththhhhhiiiiinnnnnnngggggggg............” the blonde haired girl and the brown eyed boy said in complete unison. Ok, that was creepy, I’m just going to ignore that.
“I will now read out the partners I’ve assigned for this art project y’all will be working on,” our teacher, Mrs. Bersbedasukeon yelled at us. I really hope I get a good partner that doesn’t make fun of my pink hair. And I rreeeeaaallllly hope I don’t get Sarah. ANYONE BUT SARAH.
“The first pair will be Karina and Sarah.”
...
...
WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY
“Ummm, can I please- but I am cut off by the rudest teacher to ever exist. She just goes on giving out partners like I don’t have a problem with mine. HOW RUDE IS THAT
“Ugghhhhhhh now our project is gonna be covered in rainbows and glitter and pink flowers, gross.” Sarah said, banding her head on the table. I feel like I’m about to cRY. THIS IS GONNA BE H O R R I B L E. why does all the horrible stuff always have to happen to me? My life sucks,
“Well have fun with you Project, you guys,” Emily quips sarcastically, popping the p, but I did NOT think it was funny. She gets to work with DJ, and that’s NOT FAIR. why can’t THEY work with Sarah???” At least they sort of l i k e her.
This is probably all their fault.
I hate them sooooooo much. :( 😭
...
WHOOOAAAAAAAA CLIFFHANGERRRRRRRR!!! xD. Soz that this chapter was a little confusing but a lot of stuff that needed to happen so the story can finally pick up (I can’t believe I’ve written 18 chapters!!!) I honestly think this is the best thing I’ve ever written, but REMEMBER. I have NEVER written anything before this is my FIRST time trying fanfic and I really don’t want anyone to judge me. Don’t be r00d LOLOLOLOL.
On a different note........ my mom is FINALLY taking our family to Chicago and I’m literally going to be spending all week hunting for my two favorite people EEEEEEEEEE. I’m hoping to see them at least 7 times, maybe more? I mean I know what kind of places they like to eat at and where they hang out with people (don’t ask me how I know I’ll never tell hehehehe) so it shouldn’t be too hard to find them. By the end of the week they’re gonna LOVE ME! xD xD Anywayyyyy because of that I probably won’t be writing another chapter next week, but I will still be posting d a n k memes about our children! Dailysarina is signing off now hehe. Peace!!! ✌️
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shoushatohaisha · 6 years
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review: hajimari no kyojin (osaka 6/1)
so. hello. i usually write up my butai thoughts as, um, 100+ tweet threads in the immediate wake of whatever i just saw, but this time around i thought i'd work them out into a proper report, of a sort. if you, too, have seen this show already and want to talk about it... please. any time. always.
about reviewing: this is my very favorite 2.5D franchise, ever. but this is also a review, not a cheerleading exercise, so not every single thing i have to say is unrelentingly positive. having said that, i respect kinoshita, wada, suga-zachou, and the staff at large more than just about any creative team in this corner of japanese theater fandom so like. i'm not here to drag, lol.
about spoilers: i talk about the plot elements covered but try to avoid spoiling any of the fun production surprises. :) happy to do a more spoilery play-by-play later if folks are curious.
about length: i just checked and it's 2400 words im so sorry.
without further ado...
first of all, i admit that based on the preview clips i doubted, and i was swiftly taken to task for doubting. IM SORRY WORRY-SAN i trust u implicitly and i should have known better. after the major changes in shinka no natsu, i was concerned that bringing back the revolving stage and the original opening theme would feel stale/regressive. it did not. while they did bring back the revolving element they also extended the stage backward and added a second level behind a full stage height projection screen – the second level was used to do some neat staging for flashbacks/parallels and the screen was used to, how shall we say this, up their projection game in a major way, which i frankly did not think was possible. i will not spoil the details but it was pretty great, on a purely technical level.
i also realized that a lot of the repetition – opening with the bike scene, bringing back the original opening credits music, the staging, etc – is the "look back" over the last couple years that i'd expected to come this fall. they are very obviously already preparing for the end – you could think of this as part one of their last show, with the fall as part two. the show opens with a restaging of sixth grader hinata seeing the little giant on tv for the first time – then the current karasuno team take the place of the tv and hinata joins them for a team jog. "karasuno, fight!" "oh!" "fight!" "oh!" only then each character calls out their signature line from the show so far. "uchi no renchuu wa chanto tsuyoi" / "mou tobenai karasu nante yobasenai" / "murabito b mo tatakaemasu!"
and haha. let me tell you. BOY, DID I FEEL THINGS. a lot of things. i think yachi got me the worst but they were all real bad. (i have so many feelings about yachi's story and what a beautiful job saitou ami did with her character on stage. god. ;_;)
the theme of this play was the role of captain – what makes a good captain, what a captain does for the team, and how to step into those shoes when the captain is gone. the johzenji match is fun, but here, in a sense, it exists more or less to set up the wakutani match – (re)establishing daichi's importance so that his absence feels like the gut punch it is. and fully settling the weight of that responsibility on ennoshita's shoulders, as both daichi's substitute on the court and the captain-in-waiting.
with that in mind, the rival schools: imo it wasn't strictly necessary to cast full teams for each school – each match got its own dedicated act, and unlike, for example, nekoma/datekou in karasuno fukkatsu (which had a similar story structure), there aren't really any individual characters on these rival schools who have a role as such other than terushima and takeru. (you know, the captains. see above. XD) so in theory one could get this done with, like, one actor for each captain and then an ensemble cast playing the rest of the team across both matches. HOWEVER, having all those bodies allows them to do super cool stuff visually, and why force yourself to create the illusion of a full team if you don't have to? i.e., /i/ sure am not complaining, isn't it nice to have $$$ to achieve the max vision of your choreographer. XD
i also have no doubt that the kids playing these other characters are doing whatever they can to create a character within the ensemble, and i suspect there's plenty for repeat viewers to pick up on, esp during say the johzenji match (see below). however for the first time viewer following the main flow of the story it's more or less a very large ensemble cast.
the johzenji chaos was well expressed, haha, there was so damn much going on all the time that i hardly knew where to look. (i've also seen opinions on j-twitter that that diluted the impact and i can see that too – it worked for me as a "funny" match that didn't cross the line into comic relief, but ymmv.) i thought the final scene with misaki would pack more of a punch, but i fully expect them to cry at daisenshuuraku so that might fill in the last 10% that's missing rn.
wakutani are another Good Dance Team. one did get a sense, stylistically, of fukurodani- and nekoma-lite with johzenji and wakunan, respectively – i assume that was intentional. mirroring the cats vs owls match, as it were. yanagihara rin's takeru was like… scary?? i had to rewatch those episodes this weekend to see if i'd just forgotten something, but no, stage takeru is not so much reliable middle brother as scowly quiet tough guy. he looked like a kyoutani tbh, and looking at the kid actually cast for kyoutani, one wonders if someone in casting mixed up some paperwork or something. having said that, yanagihara was great at being the character he was, i enjoyed what he did on stage. i'm just not sure that character was takeru. XD (edit: ok having just rewatched, i have to revise this somewhat, i think a big part of my impression was due to being too far back to properly see his expressions the first time around -- up close he was much smilier, and bc i was thinking about it i noticed some nice details like him going over for a family hug afterward.) otoh big post-match scene – all of wakutani, actually – was really good. v effective, i heard sniffles around me.
during this match, johzenji reappeared dressed as takeru's family: FUCKING HILARIOUS omg, everyone involved has clearly learned how to do this right wrt blocking, the very fine line between comic relief and intrusion, etc, after the, er, shaky shousha to haisha experiment of kuroken doubling as oikawa's fangirls. seichou shita na, errone.
also, some great wire work for hinata and takeru – you could tell kenta is really comfortable up there these days. the first time the wires came into play one of the women behind me went "UWO!" which, when a japanese theatergoer makes a noise out loud, that's a true sign something's impressive. XD
nekoma vs fukurodani: Yeah, That Happened. it is a testament to how well done karasuno vs wakunan was that i didn't just spend the entire time screeching BRING BACK CATS VS OWLS because fjkdajfkdlsfjd KYAA. another good staging moment – they used mirrors to create the effect of two full teams playing at a crowded gymnasium, it was brill. i won't spoil some of the fun details but vvjakdlfjdf. and tbh i think the best performance of the four was probably shouri's?? not that this is news but istg idk how someone so soft offstage does THAT on stage. is it this "acting" thing you speak of.
new bokuaka: i mean it was clear some of this material was meant for yoshimoto kouki and i did kinda miss him – i appreciate higashi-san's pinch hitting and he did a solid job. but. ah well. HAVING SAID THAT. fucking "michi wo tsukurimasu yo" i mean we should all be grateful it wasn't kouki and yuuki or it would have just been a fucking fanfic on stage. it was still bad and i don't even go here. XD
and last but not least, arita ushiwaka kenji: not exactly the world's most natural line delivery but that's fine because, i mean, he's ushiwaka. and his physical presence was perfect. which was about all he was called on to do in this particular show, ahaha.
now, for karasuno. and specifically, for my son, kawahara kazuma. remember what i said approximately a thousand words ago, about captains and captains in waiting and stepping up to the plate? (or onto the court, as it were.) ennoshita's story was the heart of the wakutani match and kazuma carried the second act. he was. so. good. he had good material to work with, of course, but he made it even better. i was saying to a friend that in retrospect i think this is one of the very very few parts of the series that actually played better and more emotionally affecting on stage than in the source material (as opposed to differently good/differently affecting). in the manga/anime, you can only see what the paneling or the frame shows you, and those initial paneling/framing choices are focused on the drama of CAPTAIN DOWN. but on the stage, daichi goes down… and off to the side you see ennoshita freeze. and from that moment on, for kazuma, it's go time. he doesn't let up until the end of post-match scene in (here) the locker room – which, jesus, that scene. it packs ten times the punch it does in the anime. because of kazuma.
sorry if i sound like a crazy person here ahaha. but like. like, imagine you have been acting since childhood, you've studied dance with famous choreographers and innovators, you had a main role in The Franchise That Changed 2.5D as a teenager, you've done a solo album, you have a serious history in performing arts... and you get cast in what was initially the smallest role of the entire karasuno team. and you take it! and pull your weight! kazuma was a team player for three years and he deserved this chance to let his actual skills shine so much. ;_; because i don't necessarily think he would have been better in any of the other roles than his actual teammates – but i do think he is a much better actor than several of his actual teammates. and he finally got the opportunity to show that.
anyway, when it came time for curtain calls, the applause swelled noticeably for kazuma – a louder ovation than anyone except kagechan and kenta. and one of those people clapping her hands off, say in row 20, just a random row choice, was definitely tearing up at the same time.
IN OTHER KARASANEWS. kt-san. LIVE IN PERSON KT-SAN BACK IN THE ROLE HE WAS MEANT FOR cries into my hands i love him daichi-saaaaaaaaaan. very occasionally his delivery reminded me he's a model not an actor, if you know what i mean, but like, for the vast part it didn't matter because he is naturally such a perfect fit. have i mentioned i love him.
new suga: mmmmm. he looked and moved fine but his line delivery did not convince me. tbf it's not like suga has a huge role to play in these matches so 1) it's not a huge deal 2) he didn't get much chance to get into the character. either he'll get better or he won't, and if he doesn't it's not going to sink the next play or anything. he seems like a nice enough kid, i wish him well!
kageyama tatsuya: still can't yell and enunciate at the same time. loved that they brought back the archer analogy from shinka no natsu though!! it was one of my favorite things about his kageyama, and it's nice that it's something he "owns" instead of imitating/inheriting from tatsunari.
tsukishima & yamaguchi: miura kairi continues to get even better, i'm so pleased. <3 also, i love love love that they still use the musical motif from shousha to haisha for yamaguchi's jump float serve. it was the same in shinka no natsu, it's the same here. THE TSUKKIYAMA WAS REAL CUTE, great detail work before and after the serve as well as after tsukki's block(s). as for tsukishima, much as they brought back kageyama's archer imagery, they brought back tsukki's fancy katana kill block. (they didn't waste kondou shouri, either, i'll leave it at that.)
last but not least, MY ACTUAL SON AND FEELINGS TWIN, SUGA KENTA: ok like. to set the scene here. i have mad respect for this kid and also love him to death as a human. i think he puts more thought into this production than anyone else in the cast – he is practically worry-san's AD. and he clearly has a lot of real deep thoughts and feelings about the source material. so deep in fact that it took a while for me to come around to his hinata because while, for example, tatsunari's kageyama could have walked straight off my television screen, kenta went down to the manga and built hinata up from there. he didn't have a choice – he's nothing like murase ayumu's voice. all too often we, and i include myself here, think of the two dimensions in 2.5D as anime, rather than manga... but just as there's a big gap between the two dimensions of animation and the three dimensions of live theater, there's as big a gap again between static black-and-white drawing, and movement and color and sound. and when i looked at kenta's hinata as something created solely from furudate's art style, it all slotted into place for me. (naturally, ymmv.)
it also took kenta longer than some of the others, i think, to portray all of what he wanted to. shoen hinata was pretty yelly, and pretty single-register yelly. hinata is a yelly character, of course, but the balance between that hinata and Serious Match Hinata was out of whack at first. this got better and better with every show. and then—
his encounter with ushiwaka here. was IT. it was what i was looking for all this time. his delivery of hinata's big line there was like – i think maybe i clapped my hands over my mouth, unclear, bc it was like the final missing piece and i was so happy. kentaaaaa. ;____;
part of me wonders if this is what kenta's always had in his head but maybe couldn't get his face/voice to express the way he wanted it? OR, IT'S KENTA, SO MAYBE IT WAS ON PURPOSE and his previous Serious Hinata was meant to be like, just a feral hunger child whereas this is the kid who experienced the heartbreak of losing to seijou. i would love to ask him tbh. XD
anyway, my son, after five plays continues to grow in his portrayal of this character. kenta is the heart of gekidan haikyuu in so many ways, and i will be at their graduation show if it kills me.
(breathes out) i think that's. everything. a best setter award to anyone who read this far, and feel free to ask if there's anything specific you want to know about? i will be seeing it again this weekend for daisenshuuraku and will be sure to report back on who cried, etc. all hail volleyball stage the end. 🏐
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