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#had the absolutely religious experience today
slav-every-day · 10 months
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sawruhh · 9 months
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Boy do I have updates
#I had my first experience with an arranged marriage type situation#Checked off all my boxes but I felt absolutely nothing#it was agonizing to try and process my feelings when our parents had spoken and everyone was so excited#so i sent a nice little message about how I’m just not feeling enough of a connection to move forward#and he said he wasn’t feeling it either but thought flying out to meet me would help#and that was ofc a major ick for me#if we’re not obsessed with each other I don’t want it!!!#so anyway I’m so relieved so glad I followed my heart#and now ofc everyone is acting like they agreed with me all along#but I feel so free and like I can really trust myself#this morning I went to this lecture series on world religions at this church nearby#it was open to everyone and it was in the university’s religious life newsletter#it was hilarious being the only nonwhite person under the age of like 70#todays talk was about Buddhism and the chaplain from the meditation groups I’ve been going to was the speaker#so they gave me a lil shout out when talking about the university’s activities#and thennnnn at 1 I had my first date with Andrew#he lives an hour away but he drove all the way out here#we got ice cream and sat outside and talked#he is so handsome omg#tall and a thick beard and fit and suuuper well dressed but in a very understated way#a super deep voice and a bit of a southern accent which truly had me swooning#also he paid for my ice cream without me knowing which was so sweet#he’s from a suuuper tiny town but did his master’s here in the city#and one green flag is when he was talking about some friends’ bachelor parties he mentioned all these super wholesome activities#he laughs a lot#I had a really nice time#and I’m realizing that I’m so much more confident now#I can talk to anybody and really keep a conversation going#I took a Power Nap but I gotta get back to my homework soon phew#remember
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noahsresources · 3 months
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IN CHARACTER CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT QUESTIONS .
send an emoji/series of emojis for my muse to answer any of the following questions in character! for some questions, there are fields italicized and bolded for you to fill in with the name of a person/place/event/etc in the muse's life. please remember to fill in these spaces in order for the question to make sense! each emoji is described in case you can't see them, and they are listed alphabetically. ♡
✈️ AIRPLANE — have you traveled anywhere that helped you discover something about yourself and/or about the world?
😠 ANGRY FACE — how easy or difficult is it for you to express your emotions? if you find it difficult, what do you think is holding you back?
🎨 ARTIST PALETTE — what are some hobbies that you like to partake in? do you think they're just to pass time or to distract yourself, or do you believe some of them potentially have therapeutic outcomes for you?
🎈 BALLOON — what is something you've created and/or accomplished recently that you're proud of?
🖤 BLACK HEART — what would you say is the darkest thought you've ever experienced? what do you think caused you to have that thought? have you ever planned on or fantasized about acting on it?
🏹 BOW AND ARROW — if there's something from your past that you'd give anything to go back in time and redo, what is it?
💔 BROKEN HEART — is there anyone in your life you wish you had a better relationship with? if so, how come? what makes this person important to you?
🎄 CHRISTMAS TREE — what is your favorite holiday and why?
🌙 CRESCENT MOON — what would you say is your current biggest dream and/or career aspiration and why?
❌ CROSS MARK — how would your life be different if [name of person] had never been in it? would it be better or worse?
⚔️ CROSSED SWORDS — do you have any skills that you are absolutely grateful you have and that mean a lot to you? how do you usually use these skills? would they come in handy if someone you cared about was in trouble?
🔮 CRYSTAL BALL — what is a core memory from your childhood that you think defines you today?
🗡️ DAGGER — what is something or someone you know you can't afford to lose? how far are you willing to go to make sure you don't lose it/them?
💧 DROPLET — are you grieving something or someone? do you feel like you lost something or a part of yourself with it/them?
😶‍🌫️ FACE IN CLOUDS — is there something you're hiding from the people you love? if so, how urgent is it for them to hear it? what's holding you back from sharing it?
🍂 FALLEN LEAVES — how would you metaphorically describe your life and the journey(s) you've been on?
👻 GHOST — is there someone or something that you feel is missing from your life? do you know if there's any way to find it/them?
🩶 GRAY HEART — what kind of friend do your friends consider you to be (mom friend, uncle friend, funny friend, etc) and why? what do you think this says about your personality?
🤝 HANDSHAKE — do family or platonic relationships mean more to you? or do they mean different things to you?
❤️‍🔥 HEART ON FIRE — what angers you the most? what triggers this anger, and how do you cope with it? what does this anger feel like, if you had to describe it?
💋 KISS MARK — if you had to share a romantic kiss with a loved one, where would you share that kiss and why? are you thinking about giving this romantic kiss somewhere other than the other person's lips?
✝️ LATIN CROSS — are you a religious person? did you grow up religious? does your faith mean anything to you today?
🩵 LIGHT BLUE HEART — what do you fantasize about the most often (generally/sexually/etc)? are there any people that are significant to or that you can see in this fantasy and why?
⚡️ LIGHTNING BOLT — how has [significant event in muse's life] impacted you? what has it made you realize about yourself? about others? about the world?
💄 LIPSTICK — have you had any romantic or sexual experiences that made you realize something about yourself?
🪄 MAGIC WAND — would you describe yourself as a superstitious person (someone who believes in superstitions)? do you believe in luck?
❤️‍🩹 MENDING HEART — how strongly do you experience your emotions? does it depend on who you're interacting with and/or the context of the situation?
🎶 MUSICAL NOTES — what song lyrics do you think most accurately describe you? your journey through life? who you are as a person?
🫂 PEOPLE HUGGING — generally speaking, do you feel very supported by the people in your life? how strong and cohesive is your support system, if you have one? do you often feel like you're at the front of the line or pushed to the side by the people in your life?
❤️ RED HEART — what is/are your love language(s)? how do you use it/them to communicate your feelings about others?
💞 REVOLVING HEARTS — who and/or what are you most grateful for in your life?
🎀 RIBBON BOW — how confident are you with your physical appearance? is there anything about it that you are insecure about? is there anything about it that you are happy about or gives you confidence? how do you think people perceive you based on your physical appearance?
🧪 TEST TUBE — if you knew you were going to die tomorrow, what is one thing you absolutely have to resolve and/or do before then?
🤔 THINKING FACE — what three emotions tend to dominate your mindset? do you know why they do?
💭 THOUGHT BALLOON — is there something or someone you find yourself thinking about more often than other things? if so, why do you think you do this?
💀 SKULL — how has [name of person] 's death influenced your outlook on life, if anything?
☀️ SUN — would you describe yourself as more of an introvert or extrovert, or are you somewhere in between? how come?
🪽 WING — if you could choose to have one superpower for a day, what would it be and why? what would you do with it?
✍️ WRITING HAND — what is one thing you wish you were better at? this can be a tactical skill, social skill, hobby, etc.
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jade-gemstone · 3 months
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Danganronpa Ultimate Categorization
Welcome back to another episode of: Jade is a nerd about something absolutely useless! Today's topic: Talent classification in Danganronpa/Fangans.
In the process of making my own fangan/s, I've created a classification system for the types of talents you can give characters. These classifications are...
Arts: Talents that are involved in the visual arts, performing arts, or fashion. Encompasses performers of all types, any type of visual artist, or anyone involved in fashion. (Ex. Actor, Abstract Artist, Model)
Practical: Talents that focus on a specialized skill or work with your hands. Also includes any talents that are religious or spiritual in nature. (Ex. Mechanical Engineer, Detective, Shrine Maiden)
Academic: Talents that are recognized by how much knowledge or experience a character has in an academic field. Covers most science, literature, math, and research based talents. (Ex. Chemist, Theologian, Archaeologist)
Sports: Talents relating to athletic skill. (Ex. Footballer, Kickboxer, Bowler)
Novelty: Talents given to a person who is special simply by existing. Can also be given to characters who win a contest for their talent. Includes Lucky/Unlucky Students, royalty, and non-human characters. (Ex. Lucky Student, Student, Princess)
This system of classification was based on my experience in the community over about three or four years, seeing many other people's original characters as well as creating my own. I found many fell into these categories. My "perfect" ratio, which my friends and I used as a guideline for making our fangan casts, is 4 arts : 4 practical : 4 academic : 2 sports: 2 novelty. I felt this ratio kept things even and grounded.
A few months ago, I began to wonder if my "perfect" ratio was more of my own creation than an actual pattern I saw. I thought, in the event it was, that I would come up with a mathematically accurate ratio that better represented the talent distribution of Danganronpa and its fan projects. This was my attempt at doing just that.
Data Collection
For this, I tried to collect as varied of a sample as possible. I included the three mainline Danganronpa games and sixteen fangans, ranging from very popular ones to very obscure ones. The fangans sampled for this analysis were...
Danganronpa Another
Super Danganronpa Another 2
Danganronpa Despair Time
Brave Danganronpa Coward's Paradise
Project Eden's Garden
Danganronpa He(art)less Deceit
Danganronpa Hushed Whispers
Danganronpa Muave
Danganronpa Despair's Revival
Danganronpa Re:Birth
Danganronpa Twisted Truths
Danganronpa Survivor's Guilt
Danganronpa Despair's Flame (my fangan! also the one where the talent ratio originated)
Danganronpa Cyberspace
Danganronpa Akeda Amusements
Danganronpa Lost Paradise (my other fangan that isn't released anywhere but I'm counting anyway)
I figured out the talent ratio for each individual game by looking through their casts and sorting them with my classification system. Ultimate ???'s were thrown out if possible (such as in the case of Akeda Amusements, where Hanari was thrown out due to the fangan having seventeen participants) and if not, they were counted as novelty.
Also, shout out to Yuki Maeda and Teruya Ōtori for managing to count for two different data sets despite my best efforts at finagling a way to keep them confined to one.
Observations
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The first thing I noticed in looking at the ratios for canon Danganronpa was that Academic ultimates are underrepresented compared to what I initially remembered. It had been a while since I revisited the mainline games, and it was a shock to be reminded of that. I was also reminded, but not quite as shocked by the greater emphasis on practical ultimates.
In fangans, the focus on practical ultimates continues to be heavy, with none having less than two. There was also less focus on sports ultimates, with the majority having only one or two compared to the three that the mainline games had a majority of the time. They also tend to have more academic ultimates.
I think that this could be explained by looking at the types of people who make fangans. The majority of people I know who make fangans have very particular knowledge about certain fields due to experience or heavy research, and more often than not these fields do not include sports. They are more likely to make characters based on their experiences and knowledge that they can then insert into the story to make it seem more authentic.
I also, unsurprisingly, found that my "perfect" ratio was not reflected in many of the fangans I looked at. There was only one besides my own that followed that ratio.
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Now, if my "perfect" ratio is not the mathematically perfect ratio, then what is?
According to the data collected for the canon games, this is.
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This just so happens to also be the ratio for Trigger Happy Havoc.
According to the data collected from the fangans, this is the perfect ratio.
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The only fangan that followed this ratio exactly was Akeda Amusements. V3 also had this distribution.
When considering both mainline and fan made games, the perfect ratio was this.
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Ironically, not a single mainline game or fan game followed this ratio.
Out of curiosity, I also calculated the standard deviation for each data set.
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Canon Danganronpa has little to no variation, conveying that talent ratios are quite consistent between games. The biggest variation would be in the novelty category, making sense as V3 scaled down the amount of novelty ultimates compared to the other two games.
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The fangans are shown to have a much larger variation. Though I can't be surprised by this, as perhaps it is an unfair comparison. The mainline Danganronpa games were written by mostly the same team and had less to sample from, while the fangans have not only a larger sample size in which to deviate, but many different writers that think differently about talent distribution.
Final Thoughts
In putting this all together, I found that my classification system, while not perfect in any sense of the word, has some validity to it. If I wanted to, I could definitely make some improvements to it (especially in distinguishing between certain academic and practical fields from novelty), but as of now it works perfectly fine as an aide in cast creation for me.
My ratio is also not perfect, which was an expected outcome. Really none of the ratios I found are perfect, with none of them representing more than one or two of any mainline or fan made game. While ratios like the ones I found can be good for making sure you have a balanced distribution of talents, they aren't required to make a good cast. Personally, I'll continue using my personal "perfect" ratio as a baseline for any cast I make in the future.
I also had a lot of fun making this, and hope I can find a way to make more posts like this in the future. Thank you for reading this.
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nottapossum · 2 months
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Itty Bitty Sinners 1.10
🧡 It starts with sorry 💖🐍♠️❤️💜
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Summary:TW: ⚠️Plz read: Mentioning divorce, diapers mentioned, diaper changing, doing someone's hair, sad parents, briefly mentioning religious stuff (very breif and catholic specifically), Anxiety, self hate, sad feelings, implied abusive and controling parents, hiding, apologizing, implied age play or something like that, Valentino is in this...he doesn't do anything but still. Lmk if I should add anything.
⚠️And disclaimer, please read: Vox is a white guy from the 1950s and I thought it would be absolutely adorable if he did Velvette's hair in this chapter despite his anxiety. Velvette is black and has black hair. I do not have black hair, so I'm not an expert on black hair. I did my research for this chapter and put a lot of effort to make sure they do her hair correctly with the care and love it needs. But! If I forgot something or wrote something completely wrong- please correct me! YouTube videos can only get me so far. I will fix it if necessary.Alright, the chapter here we go!!
♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡
'It starts with sorryThat's your foot in the door, one simple sorrySpoken straight from your coreThe path to forgiveness is a twisting trail of heartsBut sorry is where it starts.' ~It starts with Sorry, Hazbin Hotel
♡◇♡◇♡◇♡◇
~~~Pentious and Charlie:~~~~
Vaggie left Pentious and Charlie by themselves...
He's not exactly sure what he's doing. He's never taken care of a little before! And he's only been little once, he has no experience in this!
Sure, he had a son, but not for very long...
"Where Mommy, Pen?" Charlie asks suddenly. 
Pentious shakes his head. "I'm sorry, who?"
"Mommy! She weft!" Charlie says. 
"Do you mean Vaggie?" Pentious asks. 
Charlie nods. “Mhm.”
"You know where she is, dear. She left to go talk to Angel, remember?" 
"Still?" Charlie asks.
"She just left." Pentious says. 
"Oh." Charlie pouts, folding her arms on the table sadly. 
"Uhm, how about we play a game while we wait for her?" Pentious suggests. 
Charlie is still pouting, but she nods. "Okay."
"Alright, what game would you like to play, dear?" Pentious asks.
Charlie thinks about it...
"Uhm we can play wif my little pet shops!" Charlie says.
"Alright, and what is that?"
Charlie pulled out a box filled with tiny plastic animals. “My little pet shop friends!”
"I will make my family shopkeepers." She says. 
Her family consisted of a father who's a duck, an owl for the mother, and a goat for the daughter. 
"Now you gotta make a family!" Charlie says, handing Pentious the box.
Pen went along with it, his Doggy family consisted of a mother, father, and a little puppy son. 
"Now your family has to go to the grocery store while the daughter is watching the store all by herself, it's her very first time ever and she is doing a good job today.” Charlie explains. 
"Okay." Pentious says. 
"Hello, what would you like to buy?" Charlie's goat asked. 
"Uhm do you have any dog treats?" Pentious's dad doggy asks. 
"Of course, right this way." Charlie's goat says. 
They move their little figures to the dog treat isle and he buys some. "Thank you, you're really good at your job." Pentious's dad dog says. 
"Thank you, doggo." Charlie says. “I know it.”
Suddenly, Charlie's father duck shows up. "Hello daughter."
"Hello, father. I sold dog treats today." The goat says.
Charlie's voice gets a little deeper when playing the father: "Oh, that's great, Apple. But, I have some bad news."
"What is it?" Charlie's goat asks.
"Your mother and I are divorcing." The duck says. “That means we don't want to be happy anymore.”
"You're divorcing?! Right now?" The goat asks.
"Yup." The duck says plainly. "We decided we don't love each other anymore longer." 
"Awee!" The goat whines. “That's not fair!”
"But it's okay because you get to keep working at the store!" The mama owl says before both her and the duck leave. "Goodbye." 
"Charlie, I am both very concerned and confused at the same time." Pentious says.
"Uhm. So then the goat decided she didn't want the store to be a store anymore. She transformed it into the best restaurant ever!" Charlie moved around the store to create a restaurant. "Ta-dah!" 
Pentious doesn't do anything, just sort of watches her, so Charlie whispers: "The doggy family goes to the restaurant."
"Ah okay." Pentious says. He moves the little dog figures to the restaurant.
"Hello, do you have a reservation?" Charlie asks.
"Do I?" Pentious asks.
Charlie hums. "Are you the Dog family?" 
Pentious's little dog nods.
"Follow me!" Charlie's goat says.
Pentious has noticed that when Charlie is small her stories are very scattered. 
First, it was about a goat running a grocery store, then a goat who started a restaurant. She had the dog family try to help her get her parents back together by making them a romantic dinner. 
But it didn't work so they were all abducted by aliens for some reason? There was no consistency, but it was entertaining at least. 
"The only way to stop the aliens from taking over is if you two get back together and love each other again!" The goat says to her bird parents.
"But we can't." The duck says. 
"We forgot how to love." The owl adds. 
Pentious is very confused as to why the aliens care about this...but he goes along with the plot. 
The doggos worked together as a family to restore the cheese shaped spaceship to start attacking the aliens with violence, and teamwork made the goat's parents remember love. 
"We love each other! All thanks to you doggos!" The owl says. 
"And we love our daughter, so proud of our little apple dumpling." The duck adds. 
Suddenly the duck and the owl were kissing.
"Oh nooo! Happy parents!! Our one weakness!" Pentious says, playing as one of the aliens: "let's get out of here!" 
"Yay!! We saved the day!" Charlie says.
The door opens to the office and in returns Vaggie. 
Charlie's pupils expand: "Veevee!"
Charlie runs onto Vaggie's arms, and Vaggie happily picks her up. "Hey, kiddo. How are you doing?" She asks. 
"Good! We was playing pet shops!" Charlie says.
"How's Angel?" Pentious asks.
"He's okay." Vaggie says. "We talked and he says he'll stay."
"Yay!!" Charlie cheers.
"Huzzah!" Pen shouts at the same time. 
His voice sounded smaller than normal, so Vaggie asks: "Pen, are you by chance small too?" 
"Is uh...is that okay?" Pentious asks.
Vaggie sits on the floor in front of him with Charlie on her lap. "Of course it is."
Pentious smiles, he must have regressed during the game he and Charlie were playing. 
He regressed? But, he feels so happy and calm...less strange and sad- why can't regression always be like this?!
"Thank you for taking care of Charlie, you're a great helper." Vaggie tells him.
Pentious's eyes widen and he smiles brighter. "Oh...you're welcome." He says. 
"Angel wants to apologize to both of you, but I told him to wait until you're big again." Vaggie explains. 
"Is he okay?" Charlie asks. 
"Yeah, I think so." Vaggie says.
"Mm good." Charlie rested her head on Vaggie's shoulder. “I don't wike him to be sad.” She says. 
"Tired?" Vaggie asks her.
"Mm...lil bit." Charlie mumbles. 
Vaggie gathered the blankets that were on the couch and wrapped Charlie up in one of them. "Just relax. You want to watch something and take a little nap?" Vaggie asks.
"Pen! Wanna watch bluey wif me?" Charlie asks. "It's the bestest show!"
Pentious smiles at her. "Okay!" 
Vaggie put on an episode of Bluey: Verandah Santa. 
Pentious tried to relax next to them on the floor, so Vaggie handed him a soft pillow and blanket so he could be comfortable aswell.
Before Pen relaxed too much he left to get his dog teddy to join them. His doggo would probably like to watch bluey too! 
Pen decides that he likes regression a lot. 
~~~Vox and Velvette:~~~~
Vox woke up with a tiny Velvette laying on his chest. 
Velvette's eyes flutter open, she still has her paci in her mouth, but her eyes brighten upon seeing Vox still there. 
"Good morning, big girl. How are you feeling?" Vox asks her. 
Velvette hums.
"Did you sleep well, sweetheart?" Vox asks. 
Velvette nods. "Mhm."
"How about some breakfast?" Vox suggests. 
Velvette nods excitedly, so Vox gets up and picks up Velvette along with him. He takes the little one to her room so she can get dressed. "Do you need help getting dressed today, or can you do it yourself?" Vox asks her. 
Velvette doesn't answer, she tugs on the handle of her pacifier anxiously as she looks away from him.
"Vel, do you need help getting dressed?" He asks. 
Velvette nods slowly. 
"Alright, and uhm. How little are you?" 
Velvette shrugs. 
"Should we put a diaper on you? Just in case?" Vox asks. 
Velvette whines, she knows she probably needs one- but she wants to be a big girl! 
"Vel?"
Velvette shakes her head. 
Vox knows that Velvette is about one or two (more likely one) and when she's that young, she definitely needs diapers. 
"Vel, could you maybe think about it?" Vox asks her.
Velvette shakes her head and whines louder. "No!" She whines through her pacifier. "No diap, no nappy, no need it!"
Vox sighs.
Sometimes Velvette will demand she be diapered, other times she'll throw a tantrum at the mere suggestion. 
"Alright, how about if we compromise? What if you wore a pull-up instead?" Vox suggests. 
To the suggestion Velvette just starts screaming loudly: "Nooo!!"
Vox sighs, trying to keep his composure... he's glad Velvette was feeling better though. 
When Velvette is genuinely upset, she's quiet. When she's totally fine- she's loud and scream-y.
"Alright, Vel. You win. You don't have to wear a diaper if you don't want to." Vox says, relieved when she stopped screaming. 
"I'll just take this purple hello kitty nappy and give it to someone else." Vox says casually.
Velvette's eyes go wide and she reaches for the diaper Vox was holding, whining as she desperately tries to take it from him.
Vox lets her take it, and Velvette hugs it close to her chest. 
Vox smirks, he knew Hello kitty would do the trick. Every baby has their kryptonite. "You want to wear it now, Velbelle?" Vox asks.
Velvette nods. 
Vox takes the diaper from her. "Alright, lay down on the bed for me." He tells her.
Velvette doesn't like being told what to do, but she did want to wear the kuromi printed nappy, so she did as asked. "M' still big girl!" Velvette tells him, grumpily. 
"I know you are." Vox says. "There's nothing wrong with big girls needing diapers." Vox explains, quickly grabbing the baby powder and diapering her. 
"Yea?" Velvette asks. 
"Of course. Lots of people need them." Vox says, taping the diaper on her with no issues. He used to be so bad at this, but he's taken care of baby Velvette enough that he's basically a pro at diaper changing now.
"I wike dis one." Velvette says, flapping her hands excitedly. 
"You really like hello kitty, huh?" Vox asks.
"Kuomi!" Velvette says as if he just said something offensive. "Not kitty!"
...Vox does not understand the difference, they look exactly the same. "Oh right, sorry." He says, disingenuously. "Let's get you dressed now. What would you like to wear today, Princess?"
"Kuromi dwess!" Velvette says. 
"And where may that be?" Vox asks, raising an eyebrow. 
Velvette points at her closet, so Vox looks through it until he finds a few dresses with the little cat (rabbit) on it.
He went through all the dresses with her until she picked out the one she wanted and so he made quick work getting her dressed. 
Her hair was still in a bonnet, and it was going to stay there until Val or Velvette were ready to do her hair- Vox is not good at hair, and according to Velvette and Val with black hair it's especially important to do it correctly. 
He's been practicing and taking note of what Val does to Velvette's hair when she’s small and what Velvette does sometimes when she's big...but he's not sure he's ready to attempt it yet. 
Wait, was it bad to leave her hair in a bonnet? How long is it okay to leave her like that?
Well...she did sleep in it, so it will probably be fine for another hour- or at least enough time to get her some breakfast.
Velvette looked around for her pacifier, and when she found it on the floor she picked it up, but Vox quickly snatched it away as he was deep in thought..
"Voc!!" She whines.
"Hold on, Vel. It's all dirty. We got to clean it first." Vox tells her. 
She whines as he makes his way to the bathroom to rinse it off. 
He returns and hands the paci to Velvette, she happily pops it in her mouth and he picks her up to head downstairs for breakfast.
They walk downstairs where Val was already being served breakfast by Kitty, their Fizbot.
"Oh, so you both decided to wake up today." Val says. 
Vox rolls his eyes and puts Velvette down on the chair. "Couldn't get her to sleep last night." He explains. 
Kitty seemed happy to see them, eagerly making breakfast for the late Vees. 
Val rolls his eyes. "Should have taken my advice." ~ 
"I'm not locking her in her room, she has enough issues." Vox says, placing a bib around her neck. 
Velvette takes her pacifier out and starts nomming on some tasty pancakes Kitty had made. 
"Hey, Val?" Vox is a little nervous asking this, he's not sure if he's ready for this...
If Vox is going to be Velvette's caregiver, he's gotta learn how to take care of her properly. "I want to do Velvette's hair."
Val tilts his head. "Are you prepared to die if you do it wrong?" Val asks him, knowing very well that Velvette would explode if something happened to her beautiful hair. 
"I was hoping you could be there to guide me in case I mess it up." Vox tells him. 
Valentino thinks it over and shrugs. "I suppose I can do that." 
"Thanks, Val." Vox says. 
"Mhm." Val takes a sip of coffee.
Vox looks over to Velvette who's now covered in maple syrup. He's glad he put that bib on her...and that her hair is still covered, he would have no idea how to get syrup out of hair.
He never had kids in his life...that he knows of. Which is strange to most considering he was fifty. 
Velvette gave him the chance to experience...what he always wanted to. 
He owes it to her to be the best caregiver she can possibly have.
And he was gonna do it! 
~~~Angel:~~~
Vaggie had told Angel to wait a few hours to give Charlie some space before talking to her.
Angel assumed that meant Charlie regressed, but he didn't ask questions…
He didn't feel like he had a right to. 
Anxiety filled him, the anticipation was killing him!
He supposed he deserved the guilt that was eating him alive.
He felt like a child awaiting punishment-
Or waiting for a priest at confession…
So, he hung out with Husk, and it helped a little with the guilt…
Because he knew Husk didn't hate him at least. 
There was comfort in that.
“What are you going to say?” Husk asks him. 
Angel shrugs. “I don't know…but I'm sure I'll think of something.” Angel says. 
“Don't overthink it, Charlie is a very forgiving person, you know that." Husk says.
“It's not Charlie I'm worried about.” Angel says. 
“I talked to Pentious…he seems to be doing okay.” Husk says. "I think Vaggie would have been the hard one." 
Angel nods; it doesn't really matter if Pentious is okay, Angel probably wouldn't be quick to forgive the snake if the roles were reversed. 
“Will you be there?’ Angel asks him. 
“Do you want me to be?" Husk asks. 
“I…I think I'd feel better about it if you were there with me.” Angel says. “For…support?” 
“Alright.” Husk agrees. “Then I'll be there.” 
"Thanks." Angel smiles. 
"How are you feeling?" Husk asks. 
"Anxious." Angel answers. "I don't think I've felt this nervous in a long time." 
Husk thinks for a moment. "Well, let's focus on getting you to relax."
Angel smirks at Husk who sighs. "Not like that." 
Angel chuckles. "Sorry...I think maybe a distraction would be the best thing.” 
Husk nods. "We could watch a movie or something." 
Angel nods. "Yeah that would be good. It might help." He says, nervously. 
Husk didn't have a TV in his room, so they moved to Angel's. 
"Pick something out, I'll make us some popcorn, sound good?" Husk asks. 
Angel nods. 
So Angel put on legally blonde. 
It's not his favorite movie of all time, but it never fails to put a smile on his face. 
~~~The Vees:~~~
After breakfast, Vox picks up Velvette and takes her to her bathroom to get her clean and ready.
Valentino helped gather everything he'll need for Velvette's hair while Vox cleans her face and hands of the
Vox's got this! He was going to do Velvette's hair! And he's going to succeed!
"You really think you're ready for this?" Val asks him. 
"I have been doing research, I've seen both you and Velvette do her hair; I think I got this!" Vox declared.
"Alright, let's see it." Val shrugs.
"Stop me if I do something wrong." Vox says. 
Valentino nods. "I will."
"Is it okay if I take off your bonnet and do your hair today babygirl?" Vox asks Velvette. 
Velvette thinks about it and finally nods, she trusts Vox.
So, Vox takes off Velvette's bonnet, setting it on the sink. "Alright." 
"Start simple." Val tells him. "Do small sections at a time, take her braids out, then start detangling with her comb." Val says, handing him the comb.
"Got it" Vox says, taking the comb and setting it in front of him.
He starts with one side of her head and starts undoing the braids carefully-
"Ow!" Velvette shouts. 
"Sorry, Vel. Are you okay?" Vox asks. 
"She's fine. Keep going." Val tells him, sounding a bit irritable.
Vox finishes taking out her braids, a little more carefully, then he grabs a spray bottle full of water and conditioner and he starts spraying her hair to make sure it's damp. 
Velvette closes her eyes, not liking the cold water.
Vox grabs a comb next. 
Velvette is a little nervous since Vox has never done her hair fully before. 
"Start at the ends and work your way up." Val tells Vox. "Slowly." He emphasized. 
"Okay" Vox starts gently combing her hair carefully at the ends and makes his way to her roots. 
So far so good. 
Once he finishes a section, Val hands him some rubber bands that have been bathing in oil. He puts each section in a ponytail and moves onto the next. 
He kept it going till her hair was split into four sections. 
Val gave him small pointers: "Don't put the bands on too tight."
"You're gonna need more water than that." "You'll need some more moisture." 
Vox was doing fine, but Velvette was getting restless! This was taking forever!  And she was bored!!
Velvette starts fussing and trying to get away. "Woah, Vel. You have to stay still, baby." Vox tells her.
Velvette whines, she doesn't want to! She wants to play!
"I'll get her tablet, you start braiding." Valentino tells him before heading downstairs.
"Thanks" Vox says.
Vox would never admit this to Val, but he was worried about breaking Velvette's beautiful hair. 
If he breaks her hair, she's never going to speak to him again, and honestly, he'd hate himself more than he already does.
He takes a few seconds to calm down, counting to ten as he takes deep breaths. He has done braids before on dolls...and He's watched Valentino do her hair a million times...he totally has this in the bag.
Okay, no he doesn't, but he's going to try anyway!
If he's going to be Velvette's caregiver, he's gonna need to learn how to do her hair properly. 
Velvette is kicking her legs anxiously, she doesn't want to be here, she wants to play!!
"Hey, Velvette. What color bands do you want?" Vox asks her, holding up her box of hair ties. 
Velvette looks at them, happy to finally get to do something fun! She picks up some purple and hot pink ones.
"Both of these?" He asks. 
She nods. "Yea. Voc, tabbit!" She whines. 
"I know, babygirl." Vox says, working on the first braid by moisturizing it again. "Val is getting you your tablet right now."
Velvette huffs. 
"Is it hurting at all?" Vox asks.
Velvette shakes her head. "No."
"Okay good, hopefully that means I'm doing something right." He says. 
Val comes back with Velvette's tablet.
"How am I doing?" Vox asks Val anxiously.
"You're doing fine. Don't overthink it, its hair, not a bomb you need to defuse." Val says, handing the little doll her tablet.
Velvette giggles happily and starts playing Sofia the first.
Vox continues braiding her hair as he sings along with Val and Velvette: "I was a girl in the village doing alright-"
He successfully braids her hair in four simple braids.
She looked adorable!
Her hair wasn't perfect by a long shot- but it was done, and Vox couldn't be prouder of himself.
"Okay, Vel. What do you think?" Vox asks her.
Velvette's chair is turned so she can look in the mirror. She giggles happily.
"Do you like it?" Vox asks.
Velvette nods and reaches for Vox who happily picks her up.
"Not bad." Valentino says. "Braids aren't too tight, not a lot of loose hairs." He comments, looking over Velvette's head. 
"Thanks." Vox says.
"Now that I know you can actually do this, I trust you know I won't be doing her hair every single time now." Val says.
Vox rolls his eyes. "Yeah, yeah." He basically does all the caregiving for Vel and Val anyway, what else is new?
"Anyway, I'll be at the studio today, you two have fun!" Val tells them.
"Bye-bye Tio!" Velvette says, waving at him.
"Bye, babydoll." Valentino says to her.
Vox takes a deep breath, he doesn't want to think about the fact that Val is absolutely picking Angel Dust over him...again.
It's totally not important, Velvette is what's important now. "So, what now?" Vox asks.
"Uhm." Velvette thinks about it. "Tea party!"
Vox chuckles. "Sure, why not?" He asks, carrying her to her room once again.
~~~Later: The Hotel~~~
Vaggie approached Angel after they watched Legally blonde... and then clueless...and then mean girls, and then Heather's (best one). 
"So, Charlie is feeling a lot better. She's downstairs if you want to talk to her." Vaggie tells him. 
Angel nods anxiously. "Okay."
Vaggie can tell Angel is nervous, so she tries to help. “I already talked to Charlie and Pentious.” Vaggie says. “So, if you're not comfortable-”
“No, it's okay. I need to face this.” Angel says. “I need to talk to Pen and Charlie myself. They need to hear it from me.”
Vaggie smiles and nods, seeming…proud? Maybe? He's not sure. 
He did appreciate her trying to make this easier, but it has to be hard if he's ever going to win their trust back. 
Husk smiles and follows Angel downstairs, Vaggie following them closely. 
Pentious and Charlie were in the main room talking. 
"Oo! And in grannies, Bluey and bingo pretend to be old ladies, and bingo wants her granny to floss but Bluey says granny's can't floss."
"But, why can't grandmothers participate in general dental hygiene?" Pentious asks.
Charlie shakes her head. "No no, not that kind of flossing it's-" 
Angel walked over and stood in front of them. “Hey…”
Charlie and Pentious stop and look at him. 
Charlie smiles at him with more kindness than he's seen…in a long time. “Hi, Angel." 
“Hello.” Pentious says, looking at Angel with a face he couldn't quite identify- 
He's narrowing it down between upset or awkward…he's not sure which is better.
“Uh- can we talk?” Angel asks. 
Charlie turns to Pentious who nods. “Of course, Angel.” She says, gesturing for him to join her on the couch. "What's up?"
He sits down next to her, a bit of a distance, enough to at least face the two. 
Husk sat down next to him, while Vaggie chose to stand. 
“I'm really sorry.” Angel starts, causing Pentious to look up at him with concern. “I fucked everything up! You trusted me, an1d all I did was show you why…you really shouldn't. I know talk is cheap, but, if you'll give me another chance, I'd like to show you that I can be trustworthy… of course, I'd understand if you just...can't. I won't stay if you don't want me here anymore." He says. 
“Hey, hey, hey. Hold on, Angel." Charlie places her hand on his. "What you did was wrong…but it's not unforgivable.” Charlie says. “Of course we still want you here! It'll take some time to earn back the trust that was bruised, but my faith in you isn’t even close to being damaged.” She says. 
Angel nods, not sure how to take that. 
“I know you're a good person Angel, I believe in you and I know for certain that you're worthy of heaven.” Charlie says. “I for one forgive you full heartedly.” 
“Thank you…Charlie.” Angel says; He doesn't really agree with her, he's not worthy of anything. But he knew arguing would only encourage her to try and help him with ‘self esteem’ or something. “It's nice that you think you feel that way.” Angel says. 
“I also will forgive you, Angel." Pentious says. "But! Only if you help me rebuild the lego set you knocked over!” Pentious says, smiling. 
“Uhm, okay. I guess I could do that.” Angel chuckles, he's not sure what that is, but he's sure he could handle it. 
“I am sorry if I made you feel pressured to take the test. I get over excited about my plans and tend to drag people along even when they're not interested.” Charlie says. 
“You didn't…” Angel says. “I don't think you pushed too hard- I was just…scared of what you might find out is all.”
“Hey, the first step towards redemption is admitting fault. You are well on your way.” Charlie says. 
Angel couldn't help smiling a little at that…
It wasn't even the idea of redemption that forced it…
It was Charlie basically telling him he did a good job...he doesn't really remember the last time someone said that to him...well, that wasn't Valentino.
“The truth is…I…regress also.” Angel says. “I just-...it's such a vulnerable and terrifying part of me."
"Terrifying?" Charlie asks. 
"I'm...people know me." Angel explains. "Do you have any idea what people would do to me if they knew?" He asks.
Husk notices that Angel is clenching his fists angerly, so he offers his support by gently placing a hand on his.
Angel's tension subsides, and he smiles at Husk and takes his hand. "Thanks." He whispers to him.
"I didn't think about that." Charlie says. "I'm so sorry, Angel."
"It's okay...no one's mind should go there. People are sick." Angel says. 
"You're safe here, Angel. We won't let anyone else find out, I promise." Charlie says. "We're here for you, and we love you."
Angel smiles at her, trying not to think too hard about what she's saying...
He does feel a little bit better about them knowing...
“Angel…you regress too?” Pentious asks him.
“Uh Yeah...sometimes.” Angel says, rubbing his arm. 
“This is…amazing!” Pentious says, suddenly hugging Angel. “Perhaps we could help each other!”
“Um…maybe.” Angel says. 
Pentious was very excited! Angel is one of his favorite people! 
Angel and him can understand each other! How delightful! 
"Can you help me with my lego set now?" Pentious asks. 
Angel looks at Charlie who's smiling. 
He exhales. Everything is okay...
"Sure Pen." Angel says. 
"You want to help too, Husker?" Pentious asks. 
Husk smirks at the snake. "Sure, why not?" 
Pentious leads the two to the office while Vaggie and Charlie are left where they are.
Vaggie sits next to Charlie. "You doing okay?" Vaggie asks. 
Charlie smiles. "Yeah, thanks Vaggie." 
"Anytime, sweetie." Vaggie says. 
Charlie hugs her girlfriend. "I'm so lucky to have you. I hope you know that I love you so much!" 
"I love you too." Vaggie says, holding her back. "And believe me, I'm the lucky one." 
~~~Vox and Velvette: That night ~~~
Vox was enjoying a drink on the terrace when Velvette approached him.
"Hey, mind if I join you?" She asks him.
Vox gestures for her to sit on the seat next to him.
“How are you feeling?” Vox asks.
Velvette shrugs. “I'll be fine. How about you?”
“Carmilla agreed to sell us some weapons for Angelic security.” He says.
Velvette nods. "That's good. At least she listens to someone.”
“She'll regret ignoring you, Vel. They all will. Just give it time.” Vox says seriously. 
"I suppose." Velvette says. "I honestly don't know why it bothers me so...I mean, she's just a fucking pussy!" She growls.
Vox shrugs, Carmilla may be a lot of things, but that is one word he wouldn't describe her as. Her objections may have to do with Velvette herself, no one seems to see how extremely talented she truly is...which has worked in their benefit...but still. 
Velvette walks over to the railing."I don't know...maybe it comes from my parents. I wasn't worth it to my father to stick around...and my mum was always trying to change me." She explains. "I thought since I have rank here...I'd be listened to."
Vox follows her, handing her a drink. "Yeah...I was a child of divorce too, it can be it's own hell." Vox says. "I also know what it's like to be ignored; in fact, most of my friends decided they are better off without me in their life." 
"I'm not." She says, placing a hand on his arm.
Vox smiles at her. "You know what I think?"
"What?"
"I think you're brilliant, Vel." Vox says. "We're going to own this place because of you." 
"Thanks Vox." Velvette says. 
It was getting late, and everyone had work to do tomorrow.
"I'm going to bed. You coming?" Velvette asks him.
"Eh, I'm gonna get some work done." Vox shrugs. 
“Don't work too hard.” Velvette tells him.
“Please, the employees do most of the work.” He says. "Tomorrow will be a breeze." 
"Sure." Velvette rolls her eyes. "Whatever you say."
Vox set down his drink and sighs...
The truth is...it's way easier to work the feelings away..
Better to keep himself busy than let himself slip.
♡◇♡◇♡◇♡◇♡◇
'Your journey's underwayIt'll take time to cover your/my vast multitude of sinsBut sorry is where it begins. '~It starts with sorry, Hazbin Hotel
Possum:
Sorry the chapter took so long to write! I hope it was alright and worth the wait.
Idk how I feel about it, I'm too tired to think. If it's not great, the next chapter should be better. I hope.
There will be 1 more chapter before part 2. I was gonna end part 1 with only 10 chapters, but there was room for one more very important chapter.
BTW everyone should read
Accident by Miraculous_Demigod on A03 if you want good Little!Velvette content.
Now! If you'll all kindly excuse me, I'm gonna play with my new LPS I got for my birthday and watch Bluey!
Love you!!
See ya! 💖✨️✨️
Tag: @babiegurlmuffin @todayimfour @ask-dusty-boy @trophyxtissues2 @im-not-paying-my-taxes
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intermundia · 2 years
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the kenobi show has given me so much Jedi content and I’m so glad, but also as someone who’s Jewish, it’s made me Incredibly Aware of exactly how many people in the fandom would fall for Nazi rhetoric - like when I see people saying “the Holocaust was bad” but then going “the Jedi deserved their fall” in the next breath, it doesn’t give me a lot of hope that people actually know why the Holocaust was bad, or that they’d be able to see through the propaganda if it occurred today
Absolutely, completely, and totally. The inability of many fans to correctly parse a narrative, to evaluate the credibility of information based on the person delivering it, and instead believing obvious, malicious propaganda because it satisfies their vicarious craving for power, listening and trusting the people wearing literal black cloaks and surrounded by stormtroopers, it is all depressing at best and deeply concerning at worst.
We share a fandom with people who argue with their whole chest that fascism is better than democracy, and that genocide was not only deserved, but also a net benefit for society at large, either ignoring or accepting without problem the blatant, shouted, real world antisemitic parallels. I don’t know if they are projecting their religious trauma from Christian institutions onto the Jedi, and so don’t see the antisemitism of reveling in their genocide, but that’s my most charitable explanation.
It’s so frustrating how they happily share and support Sidious’s version of reality, the view that was put into Anakin’s mouth on Mustafar to show how far he had fallen into evil, not to frame him as being right. They aren’t guided by compassion for innocent people, or maybe even aware of the history of very real atrocities, but it’s no excuse when it’s a sign of being incurious about the experience of others unlike yourself, and unconcerned with their suffering.
Watching Episode 5 and hearing Reva’s story about hiding among the bodies, my first thought when I was watching was about the 33,771 Jews killed at Babi Yar, and the survivor narratives, which included hiding among the dead. I think everyone needs to know about the very real, historical analogies to the things depicted on screen and understand why it is so important for us to agree about who are right and wrong about genocide, even in a fictional form.
I am not Jewish, but it matters to me a great deal to protect Jewish lives and to make sure it never happens again, both specifically to Jewish people and to other vulnerable minorities as well. Our stories should inspire us to be vigilant about the creep of fascism, not inspire us to argue in defense of fascists and enjoy their violence. Yes, it is just Star Wars, yet it is also much more than that. The stakes of all of this are actually indescribably high.
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ryoko-akari · 2 months
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Screw it headcanons I have for Owen Carvour based on my own experiences as a Lefty because it's my turn on the "project onto your hyperfixation" talking stick.
He hates round doorknobs. I'm sure he probably doesn't have nearly the same hellish experiences I do with them but they still are the least effective type of doorknob, especially for lefties because of the weird way you have to turn your hand to open them. (Seriously, I've been stuck standing infront of doors with them for 5 minutes at some occasions because they don't have clear indicators of how far you need to turn them and it's very awkward to do with your left hand. Why do they exist. Stop making them.)
I really like the headcanons that Owen isn't religious, and I'd like to add onto this. Being left handed was very stigmatized against prior to the 70s, and this was especially the case within the Church, even today. A lot of naturally born lefties I know are ambidextrous or right handed today because of family ties to the church when they were younger that forced that on them. I was told by some of the caretakers when I was about 7 that I'd "never go to heaven because I was a left handed spawn of the devil." I can see Owen being raised religious and leaving it in his adulthood and it's why he's able to use his right hand fairly well on spy missions (and subsequently DMA), or attempting to outright refuse going because of this sort of normalized treatment and stigma.
Owen absolutely has a favorite brand of ballpoint pen because it's ink dries quickly so it doesnt smudge and get all over his hand and clothes when he writes. And he absolutely carries around multiple of these pens everywhere he goes and only uses them. You might think "oh its so people can't take fingerprints or something from the pen" but no its cause he doesn't like how smeared ink looks because it feels unprofessional. After Curt figured it out I feel like he'd probably carry around a box of it in his own go bag incase Owen's ever ran out but insisted it was because he liked the grip or something. (it was such a rarity he completely forgot he had them. Guess what he finds 4 years later among his things when he decides to get back into being a spy again.)
Continuing the headcanon that Owen draws and has his own sketchbook, and at a glance it's not difficult for Curt to tell among casual clothes which ones are his and which ones are Owen's, because Owen's have a bit of a shiny sheen to the left wrist sleeve from all the graphite and charcoal that gets absorbed into it. Owen hates it because of how difficult it is to get those stains out and Curt finds it funny when he fusses about it.
Owen hates it when people point out he's left handed, even in jest. Not only because hes a spy and does not need the added attention, but because it makes him feel like a zoo animal for people to gawk at, or some strange oddity on display. The only exception to this is if it's a kid pointing this out, especially if the child is Lefty too and excited about not being the only one. He won't outwardly show it, but he melts inside because he didn't get a lot of those interactions growing up either (if at all) and if it helps a kid feel a bit more normal then so be it.
There's probably more I'll add onto this but for now have these hehe.
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hihiitscai · 11 months
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Okay I need to yell about antitheism because it’s so painfully rampant in leftist spaces, and there seems to be an emphasis on being antitheist specifically towards the Christian God and the countless denominations that believe in Him. Things like “well if he’s so loving then why xyz thing that’s bad in the world,” or “there cannot be a god that is both all knowing and all loving because xyz thing” or, as I encountered literally today, “you don’t actually love your faith or your god because you misunderstand your religious texts” and proceeding to say that there are no verses about God loving everyone, or “Catholicisms only value is in its aesthetic,” which I also saw today.
Leftist and otherwise progressive spaces seem to be suddenly okay with antitheism when it’s towards Christians because it’s, I don’t know, punching up? People have been hurt by it and the vast majority of oppression in the world is perpetrated in the name of Christianity, and therefore it’s okay to be blatantly disrespectful of something that is important to literally billions of people and brings joy to their lives? My faith brings me joy and hope and love and fulfillment. I am Catholic not for the church, but for the God that I love and who I know loves me. The church is the vessel through which I feel most connected to Him. And yet I am told that I misunderstand my own religious texts (that I have studied, by the way), that I am somehow unintelligent for believing in a higher power. Antitheism of this nature is in largely online spaces, I’ll admit, like in multiple different discord servers that I have been a part of that had “religion” on their blacklist, but really only meant Christianity. Pagans, Muslims, Jewish folks, all were allowed to talk about their faith and their holidays and their beliefs and practices, but as soon as I mention my excitement for Easter, or my preparation for Lent, I’m in violation of the blacklist and get a warning or a kick or whatever the case may be. And why? For those hurt by the church? It seems to be difficult for some to view the situation with any nuance and understand that healing from religious trauma can include deconstructing and reconnecting to your religion.
Also, please don’t hear me say that this is equivalent to the systemic oppression of religious minorities or that it is appropriation. It absolutely isn’t. But there’s an important point here to be made about systemic oppression (which this isn’t) and interpersonal prejudice/discrimination (which this is). You can experience discrimination on an interpersonal level and that is what a lot of antitheism is. Devaluing my beliefs and my intelligence on the basis of my being Catholic is interpersonal discrimination. And the fact that it is permissible because it relates to Christianity is as well.
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aleprouswitch · 4 months
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Last night, I made a series of posts on my Instagram stories talking about my experiences growing up poor and mentally ill when a) I went to a liberal arts high school with mostly upper class students and faculty/staff who subjected me to very subtle "othering" throughout my schooling, and b) I had a deeply, almost fanatically religious mother who refused to get me any kind of professional help for the mental health issues (including childhood trauma) I was suffering from, not to mention her own mental health problems.
I talked about these things in relation to how the term "financial literacy" exists to imply that those who are poor are somehow less intelligent and therefore deserving of their poverty. This is something that conservatives and liberals both attest to the alleged truthfulness of - conservatives often do this with urban/inner city populations, and liberals often do it with rural countryfolk. Either way, it's still furthering the fallacy that to be poor is to be cursed with intellectual and/or moral shortcomings, and this factor justifies oppression.
This morning I woke up to an absolute flurry of Instagram messages and scores of likes from people who were deeply affected by what I wrote. I was kind of shocked honestly, but in a way it made me feel good that sharing bits and pieces of my personal hell helped to alleviate the pain that others were feeling from going through very similar ordeals. Even not related to this series of Instagram stories...sometimes I get random messages from followers on Instagram or Tumblr or wherever telling me that the things I discuss in my music and my writing is helping them.
Starting when I was an undergrad in college and up through today, I have used writing as a medium to make sense of a lot of the shit that's happened to me in my life, and as of a few years ago, I'm now doing the same thing with music. I've always been drawn to dark, experimental styles of music as well, so it makes sense that noise/industrial became my medium for telling tales from my turbulent past. One recurring theme that will always present itself in my music and writing is power struggles and socioeconomic class struggles, especially in how they relate to mental illness.
I have lived it, and the best work that an artist often produces is a reflection of their lived experiences.
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amhrosina · 2 years
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NSFW Alphabet (Matt Murdock x Reader)
MASTERLIST // JOIN MY TAGLIST
Read the Frank Castle Version
A/N: I have no idea what happened when I posted this earlier today, but when I came back after making the most delicious sugar cookies ever, it had been flagged and removed from every tag. Let's try this again!
Highly requested (so much so that I can't even respond to all of them because my blog would become one long nsfw alphabet matt request blog lol). Thank you to everyone who requested and sent me love about the Frank one! I'm feeling like maybe a Namor one next??
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(Warnings: literally all the basic NSFW warnings you could think of, if you’re not into smut please don’t read this lmfao, no daddy kink, no blood/knife play, but almost everything else) 
A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex) 
Matt definitely wants to be an aftercare king, but let’s be real – he’s usually so blissed out by the end of it that you end up taking care of him. 
That isn’t to say you always take care of him – when he’s feeling particularly dominant, he’ll wreck your body, mind, and soul and then cater to your every need afterwards. 
Making you tea after he ruins you is his love language.  
Cuddles are an absolute must and I stand by that.  
B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s) 
THROAT!!!!!! If having a neck kink is a thing, Matt absolutely has that.  
He loves anything that has to do with your throat which includes (but isn’t limited to): choking, biting, sucking, kissing, and especially licking up the column of your throat when he’s about to cum. 
Your favorite body part of Matt’s is his eyes. 
He keeps those glasses on 99% of the time when he’s in public or with clients, but as soon as he’s alone with you, the glasses come off. 
His glasses are like a barrier between him and everyone else, but with you he doesn’t have to hide himself. You love that he trusts you enough to do this. 
Obviously, Matt is seeing-impaired, but sometimes you swear you can feel his stare at you from across the room.  
C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically) 
Are you guys ready for this one? Are you sure??? 
MATT MURDOCK LOVES CUMMING ALL OVER YOUR PRETTY FACE!!!!!!! 
Sorry, it had to be said. 
He tries to schedule these incidents around your hair wash days because he knows it gets in your hair and that causes more work for you, but sometimes he can’t help himself.  
He likes to swipe some of it off your cheek and make you suck it off his fingers.  
D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs) 
Matt secretly loves it when you go out of town or have to leave the city for a night or two, because that means *phone sex*!!!! 
I mean like he hates it when he’s apart from you, but he’s always a little giddy because it means you’ll call him from your hotel room for some fun. 
The sounds of your breathy moans through his phone speaker always makes him cum so hard.  
This isn’t necessarily the dirtiest secret, but Matty is a religiously traumatized baby boy and the idea of using such lude language when he talks to you really gets him going. 
E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?) 
Oh boy. Matthew Murdock is a dirty little manwhore and I am HERE FOR IT! 
He’s never left a partner unsatisfied, and he never will.  
The little hyper-sensitive hearing trick really helps him when he’s going down on you. When your heart rate picks up, he knows he’s doing something right. 
He could make you cum in 12 seconds flat if he really wanted to, but that man is a tease and will drag it out for as long as possible when he has the time. 
The king of delayed gratification and nights with at least half a dozen orgasms. 
F = Favorite position (this goes without saying) 
Matt’s a simple man (lmfao), and he loves it when you ride him because he has unlimited access to your throat in that position. 
His absolute favorite thing is when you’re so worn out from the hours of sexcapades with him that you end up laying down on top of him, giving him full permission to fuck up into you with as much force as those juicy thighs allow. 
G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.) 
Matt isn’t so much goofy as he is excessively happy that he’s with you. 
He’ll have a dopey little grin on his face the entire time he’s inside of you (unless he’s feeling super dominant) and whisper the most exquisitely worded praises you’ve ever heard in your ear the entire time. 
The only time you’ve ever heard him laugh during sex is when Foggy walked in on the two of you going at it on his office desk. When you pointed out that he definitely heard Foggy walk in and just wanted to show off that he was getting laid, he busted out laughing because true, but also Matt wasn’t really paying attention to the noises around him. He just loves the sounds of your quiet moans so much. 
H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.) 
I’ve always questioned this because how does a blind man groom himself down there???? 
But Matt’s a pro because he’s Matt. He doesn’t like it to be too hairy, so he has a pretty regular maintenance schedule.  
He knows how much you love his happy trail so he doesn’t dare touch it, for fear of your wrath. 
I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect) 
Oh brother, Matt is so sentimental about it with you.  
He loves you so much and ensures that you know that every time he’s inside of you.  
Even when he’s being a dom, he can’t help the occasional gentle caress of your skin.  
Matt’s love language is touch, and mans was touched starved for so long, so the fact that he gets to touch you whenever and wherever really puts him in a grateful headspace. 
He can’t stop the praises from falling off his tongue anytime you two are together, and he doesn’t really care. He wants you to know how much he loves you, so he tells you every chance he gets. 
J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon) 
The whole delayed gratification thing puts Matt in a tough spot. On one hand, he’s always horny for you. On the other hand, the idea of getting to cum in you keeps him from touching himself until he sees you again.  
It’s not a daily thing, but during the weeks that you’re both busy and don’t see each other much, he may have some solo fun every once in a while. 
He’d much rather cum in/on you, so really this isn’t a big thing for him. 
K = Kink (one or more of their kinks) 
You know this already but CHOKING KING KINK!!!!! 
That man loves one thing above all, and it’s your throat. 
It’s not even a conscious thought anymore. He’ll be halfway through fucking you into the mattress and realize his hand’s been wrapped around your throat the entire time.  
He’s a soft!dom and will shower you with praises the entire time.  
L = Location (favorite places to do the do) 
He’d gladly fuck you on any surface if that’s what you want, but he prefers his bed more than anything. 
The combination of the silk sheets and your kisses on his skin sends him into a state of euphoria. 
He also loves that it leaves behind your scent on his sheets. Our boy’s overly sensitive nose can’t get enough of your scent when you’re gone.  
M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going) 
Like I said 1 bullet point ago, Matt loves it when your scent lingers on his sheets or around his apartment.  
If you’re not in bed when he wakes up, he’ll roll over onto your side of the bed and bury his face in your pillow.  
His third leg makes an appearance shortly after this. 
Also, (obviously) anytime he has access to your throat, he turns into a feral little devil. He can’t get enough of you, even if he’s deep inside of you. 
N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs) 
Any kind of blood or knife play. 
Mans is traumatized by his old scars/wounds and would never want to inflict them on you. 
O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.) 
Matt is a generous man, and that doesn’t go away in the bedroom. 
If he could situate his tongue between your legs for the rest of his life, he’d gladly do it (with honor).  
Like I said before, he knows your body so well that he can make you cum with very little effort on his part, but he still likes to put in the effort because it’s you. 
All this means is he gives you multiple orgasms before he even thinks about himself.  
P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.) 
Matty’s a slow lover, and it drives you absolutely mental, because he’s so damn good at it. 
He could fuck you slowly for hours without cumming, all the while making you fall apart around him. 
Did I mention delayed gratification king??? 
Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.) 
He’s not a fan, because it usually means he doesn’t get to fully satisfy you the way he loves to, but he’ll never say no to a quick fuck, ya know?? 
Lots of office quickies. LOTS of office quickies. 
He just looks so good in a suit, and you can’t keep your hands off of him when you stop by to have lunch with him.  
His greatest triumph (and his greatest shame lol) is the quickie you had in the bathroom of a church one time. 
You couldn’t stop rubbing your thighs together during mass, turned on by how wrong it would be to fuck Matt in a holy building. 
As soon as your scent his Matt, it was over for him. You’d excused yourself to try and clean yourself up, but Matt had followed and silently fucked you on the counter of the bathroom. 
He was clearly turned on by it too, but you were careful not to mention it when he was re-living any religious trauma he experienced. 
Matt secretly loves to think about it when he’s anywhere near the church. 
R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.) 
Your Matthew Murdock??? Risky??? Noooooo. 
Obviously, Matt is down to try anything with you.  
Getting a visual of Matt furiously searching the web for new positions to try with you. 
He hasn’t told anyone this but his goal for the New Year is to have tried every position listed in one of those sex books with you.  
S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?) 
Oh man, he could go for literal hours, and on nights when he has the time, he will go for hours. 
Matt is so disciplined with himself that most nights, he’ll make sure you’re absolutely spent before finally cumming in you. His orgasms are always earth-shattering, which is why the aftercare usually ends up being something you do, or at the very least, delayed. 
T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?) 
Matt doesn’t need toys to help him get you off, but he’s always game to use them if you ask.  
One of his favorite things to do is call you when he’s leaving work and tell you to get started with your vibrator while you wait for him to get home.  
You’re allowed to get as close to cumming as you want, but you are definitely not allowed to cum before he gets there.  
He can pick up on the soft buzz of your vibrator from miles away, and the closer he gets to you the more eager he is to bury his face inbetween your legs.  
U = Unfair (how much they like to tease) 
When Matty’s feeling particularly sneaky, he likes to tease you by almost making you cum a dozen times before finally giving in and making you cum.  
You’ll be a shaking, sobbing mess, begging him to make you cum, and he’ll just have a vicious smirk on his face as he pulls away from you.  
When you finally do cum, it’s so mind-bending that it takes you a few minutes to catch back up with reality. 
V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.) 
Matt’s usually so busy praising you that he doesn’t really have the breath to make other noises, but on the nights that he does, it’s magical. 
The soft grunts he breathes into your ear is so sultry that it alone could probably make you cum. 
When you get the rare chance to tease him, the whimpers he lets out are heavenly. You like to stretch these nights out because his whimpers are like music to your ears. 
W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character) 
Matt likes your hair a little on the longer side because he likes to tangle his fingers in it and pull on it when he’s fucking you raw. 
One hand in your hair, the other wrapped around your throat, and Matt Murdock ascends into the stratosphere. 
He can’t imagine a better way to spend his time.  
X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes) 
Whether Matt actually has a big dick or not, he for sure has big dick energy. 
The game that man has puts everyone else to shame.  
But we all know he’s huge. Like I just know his dick is big. It’s not even a theory, it’s a fact, and I stand by that. 
Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?) 
Matt is insatiable for one thing, and that’s you.  
He wants you at all hours of the day, and on the days that both of you are off work, he’ll spend the hours fucking you slowly. 
(If you have a uterus), it’s a miracle that you aren’t pregnant by now. Even with all the precautions, it’s a god damned miracle. 
Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards) 
Sex doesn’t put Matt to sleep, so if it happens at night, it’ll definitely be a couple hours before he’s tired enough to fall asleep. 
He usually uses this time to patrol Hell’s Kitchen (if he knows you’re safe and taken care of). 
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justfandomwritings · 2 years
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A Package Deal
Pairing: Hangman x Female!Reader x Phoenix
Word Count: 2.3K
Warnings: Lots of non-explicit sexual tension and pining; heavy handed flirting and smutty implications
Summary: You've been a bartender at the Hard Deck for a while now, and you've gotten to know the pilots of TopGun pretty well. They work hard, and they play hard. And God what you wouldn't give to play around with a couple of them, not that you'd ever had the guts to ask.
Notes: IDK I got bored and horny, and I thought the world needed more Hangman/Phoenix/Reader fics.
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She’s the most gorgeous woman you’ve ever seen in your life. She’s hot in the uniform, but out of it she’s fucking stunning.
Dark brown hair cascading in luscious waves around her face. Dark, lidded eyes piercing into you like they can see straight through your mind and hear every lewd thought that crosses it. Beautiful lips that pull back over perfect teeth and fill you with a longing to make her smile like that at you every day.
Long, toned legs that stretch out from under the sexy little blue dress she’s donning. They go on for days in those nude heels every time she takes a step and oh fuck.
She’s taking another step. Fuck fuck fuck. She’s walking towards you. Fuck fuck fuck. You’ve been ogling her from across the bar like a fucking creep and now she’s walking towards you.
You glance nervously around the bar and see a guy with a mostly empty drink and rush over.
“Get you a refill?”
The man nods and raises his glass in wordless appreciation.
It’s bourbon on the rocks. Not even top shelf. The cheap, well shit. It takes about thirty seconds to make, but it gives you an excuse to turn around. You drag it out to a full minute: picking out each individual cube of ice and giving the slowest pour you can reasonably manage.
It wasn’t long enough. When you turn around she’s there.
She’s leaning against the bar, standing, the bottom of her breasts just brushing the counter of the bar while the tops peer up at you invitingly from the deep cut v.
“Good afternoon Lieutenant, what can I get you?” You gulp as you sets the bourbon down in front of the intended patron.
“Two beers,” Natasha smiles at you. Actually smiles at you, and for a moment you have to make the conscious decision not to melt into a puddle on the floor.
She doesn’t say anything, but she’s looking at you, looking through you, with those all-knowing eyes. She knows she has power over you, and yet you’re absolutely certain she doesn’t know how much power she has over you.
“Two?” Your voice remains surprisingly even as you open the fridge beneath the countertop and pull out the pilots’ usual beer of choice. For a moment, you’re proud of yourself for this small, though seemingly insurmountable achievement.
“Yeah, I got company.”
It hurts your heart, but you don’t show it on your face - or at least you try not to - as you set two bottles down in front of her. Of course she has company. Coming in here looking like that, she has to have company. If she came here to find company she’s so pretty she could’ve got it wearing a wet paper bag, but she’s dressed up, wearing an outfit that’s meant to impress someone.
“Who’s the lucky date?” You try to sound casual, but from the way her eyes rove over your face you know you’ve failed.
“No one you’d disapprove of.”
She turns back to watch the doors of the bar and only moments later they swing open.
Your mouth runs dry.
If she is the most beautiful women you’ve ever seen, he is the sexiest man alive. People magazine could sell more copies just from putting his face on the cover than any famous celebrity’s name.
He’s not in uniform either, and the only time you’ve ever seen him out of uniform was playing football - which was a positively religious experience. You’ve never seen him in civilian clothes, and god you don’t know what’s sexier the leather jacket or the abs you know are lurking underneath it.
His hair is Slightly disheveled but in a styled sort of way. There’s far less product in it today than normal. He’s let it fall naturally to one side, and it sways gently as he turns his head. He’s clearly had the day off because his facial hair has gone well beyond five o’clock shadow to full blown stubble, and it’s a look that is an absolute crime to shave off.
For a brief moment, very brief, you forget Natasha is sitting in front of you. It’s a feat no other man or woman alive is capable of. No one could hold a candle to the fire she lit except the walking inferno that is Jake Seresin.
Walking. Fuck fuck fuck. You turn away again. There’s no drinks to refill now. It’s too early in the afternoon. There aren’t enough patrons. Penny isn’t even in yet for her shift.
You busy yourself with finding your cleaning rag and wiping down the center island of the bar.
Behind you there is a tinkling laugh. Natasha’s laugh. You’d memorized the sound from the few times you’d managed to cause it. And it tore through you making your heart stutter step. She was laughing at you. Not great, but god what a laugh it was. It wasn’t the same as making her laugh, but it was still such an indescribably happy feeling.
“Jake,” Natasha greeted, and you heard a stool pull out.
She never called him Jake. He never called her Natasha. Call signs only. Even off the clock. This must be … something real.
“Good to see you Nat, did I miss any of the fun?” Gods his voice could make you weak in the knees and he wasn’t even talking to you. You weren’t even looking at him.
You could circle the bar. Circling the bar was good. You weren’t really supposed to hang out on the far side of the center island. It hid the front door and incoming customers from view. You were only supposed to make a quick round. But these were extenuating circumstances. Surely Penny would understand.
“Not at all, we hadn’t even started.”
“Haven’t started and she’s already squirming like that?”
They were talking about you. They had to be talking about you. You didn’t really have an ego, and you would normally never assume anyone was ever talking about you, let alone two people as gorgeous as Natasha and Jake. But they had to be talking about you. There weren’t that many other women in the bar to begin with – a couple regulars over playing darts and one guy with his fiancé in the corner – and you were certainly squirming. At least inside your skin you were squirming.
You can feel your face going red, feel the heat rising under the surface. You choose to ignore it. Ignore them. It is the safest option. You can’t turn around, not as flustered as you are now. You’ll never hear the end of it from Jake if you do. Natasha will give you that knowing smile from time to time, but if Jake saw you like this, flushed at the mere idea they were talking about you, he would tease you till the end of time. You did not have the mental fortitude to deal with Jake “Hangman” Seresin teasing you every day.
“Well, you know (Y/n),” Natasha seems to make a point to say your name a little louder, “we’re gonna have to ease her into it.”
You whip around. You can’t help it. Whether it’s the way she says your name or the tone in which she says she’s going to ‘ease’ you into some unspecified thing, the implications are a shock to the system, and you truly can’t stop yourself from turning around, wide-eyed as a deer in headlights, to face the two pilots.
Jake is grinning at you, smug and self-assured as he always is. His fingers are delicately wrapped around the neck of his beer bottle as he leans back in the barstool. There’s a lazy air about the way he takes a swig from the bottle.
Lazy is not a word you would normally associate with Jake Seresin. His body language is off. The bar is normally his hunting ground. He stalks around the pool tables and dart boards proving his superiority and waiting for the ideal catch, but today he doesn’t seem like he’s hunting. He’s too relaxed, too unaware of every time the door swings open. His eyes are too focused on you.
He's still looking at you like a predator does his prey, the way he usually looks at the beautiful patrons of the bar who throw themselves at his feet. But the urgency is gone, the hunt, the chase, the playing hard to get, it isn’t there. He looks like a predator completely and utterly convinced that his prey is going to run willingly into his claws.
“I-I,” You don’t know what to say.
You manage to tear your gaze away and divert it to Natasha. Whatever you’re seeking there – help, answers, amusement at a joke well played – you don’t find it.
Her eyes aren’t on yours. They’re on your body, roving over your curves like she needs to memorize them for a test later. She’s studying you, and you don’t know if its disconcerting or incredibly appealing. Either way, it pins you in place. You can’t move under her gaze, can’t disrupt the path her eyes are taking over your chest and down to your waist.
If Jake’s eyes left any question as to what they were easing you into, the flash of Natasha’s as they darted back up to meet yours answered it. She looks hungry, downright starving. You don’t exactly feel like prey under her gaze, but you still feel like a meal, a thing waiting to be devoured.
Your eyes go straight to her lips as she catches her lower one between her teeth, gently gnawing on it as she seems to ponder what to say or do.
“Don’t worry, Angel,” Your eyes dart back to Jake’s as he finally sits up and leans in. His voice is quiet, low and rough so the strangers surrounding the bar can’t possibly hear even though you’re still across the bar, frozen, pinned to the center island. “We promise we’ll go easy on you.”
“Speak for yourself,” Natasha adds.
Your hands shoot out and clutch the lip of wood behind you. You have to to keep your feet under you as you feel your knees go weak.
“Mmm,” Jake hums, his eyes following the same trail over you that Natasha’s had a few moments before. It felt like his touch following hers over you, and it was enough to make you bite back a groan. “Looks like you were right, Nat.” He’s addressing her, but his eyes haven’t shifted away from you. “She does want it rough.”
“(Y/n)!”
You jerk back away from the center island and turn around to see Penny ducking under the other side of the bar.
“H-Hey Penny,” You can’t hide it. You know you can’t hide it. Your skin is still red all over, and your eyes are dazed and confused. You’re almost certain that at any moment you’re going to break out in nervous sweats.
Penny sees you and immediately frowns.
Your heart goes into overdrive, thudding loudly in your chest. Natasha has a way of looking straight through you, and you’re praying Penny doesn’t share that talent as she eyes you with concern. If she knew or even suspected, what had been going on between you and the two pilots behind you moments before she walked in, you would quit on the spot. Resign in disgrace never to be seen again.
“You okay honey?” Penny stepped around towards you and put the back of her palm to your forehead. “You look like you’re burning up. Did you get too much sun?”
“N-No, I think I’m just coming down with something.”
Penny let out a quiet hum of agreement as she felt the heat of your skin. “You should head home. I can call in someone else tonight.”
“I… My roommate is my ride, and she’s…”
“I’ll take her!”
Your head jerks around to see Natasha climbing off of her barstool and seemingly collecting herself to leave. She’s giving Penny a sympathetic smile that wreaks of an innocent, helpful nature that was entirely absent just moments before.
“We have a party to get to anyway. I’ll drop her off on the way.”
Jake nods his assent and tilts his head back, downing the rest of his beer in one swallow. His Adam’s apple bobs in his throat as he elongates his neck, and a single trickle of beer leaks out and runs past his jaw down the length of his throat. The smirk he comes up with spells out for you that he did it on purpose.
“Thank you Natasha,” Penny accepts the ride before you even have a chance to consider your options, and she pushes you towards the flap out from behind the bar. “Go home and get some rest.”
You nod along numbly, walking around to join Jake and Natasha. They position themselves on either side of you as they lead you out of the bar.
To everyone watching, it looks like two patrons helping a friend who looks very flushed and confused, possibly drunk or sick. Jake’s arm goes in what should be a comforting embrace around your shoulders, resting his left hand on your left shoulder and giving it a tight squeeze.
Natasha is more obvious, not that anyone seems to notice but you. Her fingers blaze a trail over your skin, not merely wrapping themselves around your waist, but brushing along your back as they go.
“Your choice, angel.” Natasha’s lips touch the outer shell of your ear as she whispers into, her voice husky with what you can only assume is want. “We can take you home, and you can call this a nice, unexpected day off. Or you can come with us.”
Jake’s fingers squeeze your shoulder, longer this time, not a comfort but a warning, “Just know, angel,” You reach the parking lot of the Hard Deck, and Jake pulls the three of you to a stop, him and Natasha standing in front of you with similar, imploring looks. His free hand points between him and Natasha, “We’re kind of a package deal.”
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yourbittertarottruth · 5 months
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txt turn on/off’s 💓💓
I''m assuming you mean as in what attracts them to a person and what makes them want to walk away, I'm doing Soobin and Yeonjun today, Beomgyu + maknaes will be done later <3 (Mainly because Tumblr won't let me post if I've written too much) Yeonjun - (Sooo much to say, I had to summarise!) Turn On's : *Ace of Wands, Queen of Pentacles* - With the ace, it talks about new beginnings whilst wands talks about desire and passion. Queen talks about a nurturing, feminine energy, whilst pentacles talks about a materialistic and sensual person. He seems to like someone that's inspirational, someone who's a very passionate. He likes someone ambitious and creative, too! He also likes someone very in tune with their feminine aspects and energy, someone comforting and practical. As well as someone who has their own sense of financial security and can pay for themselves! He seems to not care whether they have more of a cute or sexy appeal, he just likes someone that is overall good-looking from his POV. Turn Off's : *The World, 7 of Wands* - The world tells us about completion, someone whom has reached a level of enlightenment. Wands talks about passion, desire, willpower. 7 talks about exploration, wisdom and spirituality. It seems he doesn't want someone too mature/wise, he'd prefer someone that hasn't figured everything out but has passion to invest time into their ideas for the future. He could potentially like someone that just is not complete as a person, he likes stability but he also likes someone who could depend on him sometimes. Both the first and second card talk about spirituality, I feel like he may have had negative experiences with an ex who was either very spiritual or religious. I don't sense any hatred towards it, though. He just does not want someone who's so obsessed that they would push their practice onto others. He finds that revolting and distasteful. He doesn't like someone defensive or that's a control freak. Soobin - Turn On's : *2 of Pentacles Reversed* - Not using a 2nd card here as it's a bit too invasive, so let's just talk about this card! 2 represents decisions, balance and partnerships whilst pentacles signifies materialism, sensuality and an earthly nature. In reverse, this card talks about a loss of balance, being disorganized and a feeling of being overwhelmed. It feels like he would find himself attracted to someone who's struggling and overwhelmed, who hasn't found their centre and is a chaotic, disorganized, mess. He wants to be the type of person to help someone, to constantly hover around them and do something to assist them. Like I've said in a past reading, his love language is absolutely acts of service! He'd be attracted to someone whom he feels like he can serve, treat like a Queen. He seems to prefer someone more on the sexy side when it comes to appearance! Turn Off's : *The Tower Reversed, Ace of Swords* - The first card shows that he dislikes someone whom tends to avoid/delay disaster, he prefers someone courageous that can face conflict head on without delay. He doesn't like someone that has a tendency to fear the idea of going through conflict and suffering. Ace shows new beginnings and potentials whilst sword shows ideas, logic and intellect. He doesn't like someone with an incredibly sharp mind, he likes someone with a lot of strength/courage (as stated before). He dislikes someone who can be considered cold. He hates people who strike down others just for self-gain, he finds that nasty and crude.
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floof-writes · 5 months
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I just figured out why the "Don't hate on Kristen, she's just a traumatized 17 year old girl she wasn't prepared to create and care for a deity and it's not fair to expect her to" argument bugs me so much!
First and foremost, Kristen Applebees owns my entire heart and soul. She saved my fucking life. She and I went through a scarily similar religious crisis at fifteen and she and Ally helped me process it. By extension, I respect Ally immensely. They are integral in what D20 is today, and I can't thank them enough for that, Chaotic Dumb shit included. Whatever choices they make to A) have fun at the table and B) play Kristen to her truest potential, I support them.
Right now, Kristen is certainly acting in character, I'm not denying that, but her character still hasn't learned the lesson she needed to. The argument above boils down to the claim that teenagers shouldn't be held responsible for their actions, and as someone who was 17 fairly recently, YES THEY FUCKING SHOULD. Teenagers are capable of doing amazing things. They are more than capable of making moral and practical judgements, and they should be allowed to. They are intelligent and thoughtful and complex. Kristen proves that every second she's on screen. Denying her the consequences of her actions, both good and bad, is just disrespectful to her accomplishments.
Teenagers should receive unconditional love and support from the adults in their lives, but they do not get consequence immunity that expires at 18. Kristen, more than any other bad kid, lacks parental support. Her connection to stable adults is largely through her girlfriend, and that's not ideal. But Kristen has proven she understands what it means to be the cleric of a new god, that in the same way her devotion raised her from the grave, her apathy could bury her once more. It's happened to [redacted] before. Apparently she hasn't even attempted to spread that responsibility out by sharing the gospel. She hasn't asked for help, which is a teenager's most fundamental right. It makes sense that she hasn't, someone else pointed out that Kristen is still searching for the absolute security in knowing a god is all powerful that she had while believing in Helio and has yet to unlearn that, which is why she struggles with her deities. She very obviously relies on religion to fill a hole in her worldview. But if Kristen kills Cassandra, she kills Cassandra. That's her fault, even if it's a mistake that will one day become a dumb teenage decision in her past, rightfully paid for and rightfully regretted. And the adults in her life, whether that be Aguefort or Jawbone or someone else, have a responsibility to tell her she's out of line, because she is.
Junior year is about realizing that real life is a speeding train and you're tied to the tracks with just the pieces of a knife. Ally themself said this season is about Kristen suffering consequences for her chaotic decisions. Making a bad decision and being held responsible for it is okay. This is a theme that appears with Pete as well. Expecting them to learn from their experiences and behave better gets conflated with hating them and is met with excuses about their circumstances and lack of support, even though both demonstrate an extreme desire to learn and grow.
(Finally, the last piece of this argument that bugs me, is the claim that people criticizing Kristen must not have experienced a faith crisis. Bitch, with Kristen's help I banged that thing out in a year and half. By 16 I was an atheist out to my parents. Unlike Kristen, they didn't kick me out, and unlike Kristen, the existence of god/s isn't an objective reality in my world, so I get that I had it easier. But your experiences with faith aren't universal.)
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wen-kexing-apologist · 7 months
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Bengiyo's Queer Cinema Syllabus
For those who are not aware, I have decided to run the gauntlet of @bengiyo’s Queer Cinema Syllabus and have officially started Unit 3: Faith and Religion. The films in Unit 3 are: But I’m a Cheerleader (2000), Prayers for Bobby (2009), Latter Days (2003), Blackbird (2014), The Wise Kids (2011), Henry Gamble’s Birthday Party (2015)
Today I will be writing about
But I’m a Cheerleader (2000) dir. Jamie Babbit
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[Run Time: 1:30 , Available: tubi, amazon, google play, apple play, Lang: English] 
Summary: A cheerleading-obsessed teenager is sent to a strict summer camp when her parents suspect her of being a lesbian. 
Cast: * Natasha Lyonne as Megan * Clea DuVall as Graham, Megan's love interest
Note: I watched the 2020 Director’s Cut
__
Hello, I have entered The Danger Zone. For the next two units I expect to be absolutely and utterly dashed upon the rocks as I start Unit 3: Faith and Religion, and eventually wash it down with Unit 4: Heartbreak Alley. 
Ben is being nice by having the first film on the list be But I’m a Cheerleader, so at least we can ease our way in to the conversations around conversion therapy and religious trauma to the queer community with some dark humor and bright colors. 
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While I decided to embark on this syllabus project because my experience with queer media has been severely limited, there is at least one movie in Units 1-6 that I have seen before. For Unit 3, it is this one. I love this movie. I love this movie because for all that it is dark, for all the pain you see being carried by these queer teenagers, for all the harm that has and could be done to them throughout their time at True Directions, the film wastes absolutely no time highlighting the absolute absurdity of programs like this. What do you expect to happen when you put a bunch of horny, queer teenagers in a room together? But I’m a Cheerleader does a phenomenal job at maintaining the fact that queerness is inherent, it is not learned, it is not chosen. 
And it does something else that I picked up on this watch through, that makes me appreciate it even more, which is that it kinda pokes fun at 12 step-programs.
I don’t know that I have really talked about this much on my tumblr, I know I have referenced it a couple times in like…comments and conversations with some of my mutuals on tumblr about my opinions on Alcoholics Anonymous. Before I dig in to it, I will preface that AA and NA works for who it works for, and that’s cool, but I have strong negative opinions on these 12-step programs as a harm reductionist because they hold abstinence as the ultimate goal of substance use recovery, they are super religious, and they generally espouse anti-harm reduction ideologies. So seeing True Directions have a five step program, where the first step is literally admitting you have a problem are a homosexual, and to see these steps be a) absolutely absurd, b) random, and c) ineffective made me so happy. 
[OKAY WAIT REST OF POST ON PAUSE BRIEFLY SO THAT I CAN SHOUT ABOUT THE DIRECTOR OF THIS FILM AND THE FACT THAT AS I WAS RESEARCHING FOR THE FOR/BY/ABOUT SECTION, THE DIRECTOR, JAMIE BABBIT’S MOTHER RAN A TREATMENT PROGRAM FOR TEENAGERS WITH DRUG AND ALCOHOL PROBLEMS THAT WAS NAMED NEW DIRECTIONS, AND THAT IS WHAT TRUE DIRECTIONS WAS BASED ON. HAHAHA! That is the most succinct confirmation of my read on a piece of media I have ever had] 
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For real, this program did not work on a single one of the residents by the end of the film, and that is absolutely what needs to happen. 
I love that the kids sneak out to go to a gay bar, I love that when the kids fail the conversion therapy program they get taken in by survivors of True Directions and find safety in a queer-positive house, especially because (as we see with Megan) if the kids fail the program they do risk homelessness. Which is a very real and present threat to queer kids today, both conversion therapy and possible homelessness. 
I like that Megan’s parents picked up on the fact she was queer before Megan herself did (shout out to vegetarianism, I literally wrote ‘vegetarian’ in my notes as an observed potential indicator lol) and find it is absolutely an intentional point that Megan would very possibly not have realized she was queer if her parents hadn’t sent her to conversion therapy, because it was not until a fellow queer was like “not all girls think about what you are thinking about when you look at girls” 
And it always hurts my heart a little when I hear people say their parents make comments sometimes that are like “well, everyone thinks about kissing a girl sometimes” etc etc and are still existing under the belief that they are straight. Megan seemed completely oblivious to her own queerness until other people pointed it out, and her parents might have had the intended outcome of a “straight” child if they had just kept their mouths shut and minded their own goddamn business. 
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Not that we want Megan to be straight, but more just that the film itself feels like it does make a point of calling out the fact that putting your queer kid in a room with other queer kids is going to help them understand themselves better. It’s why cishets are so terrified of trans people, because the more visible trans and/or queer people are, the more people are able to question their own identities, and the more the white supremacist society we have built in the United States starts to become undermined by the degradation of a pillar of patriarchal heteronormativity, etc etc. 
I love that on the boy’s side of True Directions all the little decorations of like…shop tools and soldiers look sexual. The soliders look like they are either getting fucked in the ass, or about to perform oral sex. The tools look like dicks, it’s very much indicative of the fact that even the adults who say they have been “cured” really have not been, because they are still creating scenery and teaching these boys how to be straight while subconsciously producing images of queerness. 
I love that But I’m a Cheerleader is also able to challenge our own perceptions of queerness and heterosexuality. I love that it is Jan, who looks the most butch/masc of all the girls who is revealed to be heterosexual, and I think it is vitally important to see this not only as commentary around judging people based on appearance, but also can be used as a discussion point about the masculinization of women of color, and in addition the fact that all the girls are turned on watching Jan vacuum the floor, demonstrating that masculine women can be seen as hot/sexy. 
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Anyway, I love this movie a lot, I think the messaging is great, I think it can read a little more serious for a queer audience than a straight audience around the actual extent of the damage done to these characters during their time at True Directions, but I think there are all of these little things that make the funny moments funnier if you are queer. 
For/By/About 
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For sure by and about queer people. Both the director, Jamie Babbit, and the screenwriter, Brian Wayne Peterson are queer. I will admit that for a bit during the film I struggled to decide whether or not this film was made for queer people, because in some regards I thought that perhaps the purpose of But I’m A Cheerleader was to show straight people how fucking stupid conversion therapy is. But, I have actually landed on The Gay Trifecta for this one. 
Jamie Babbit stated that part of her inspiration for making this film was because she wanted more representation for fem lesbians in media, and that she decided to make it a romcom because of how media has historically treated lesbians (if you have read some of my other posts, we know I have talked about that history multiple times). 
Favorite Moment
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SEX SCENE! So, I am pretty certain that I watched But I’m A Cheerleader for the first time before 2020, and therefore I did not have access to the director’s cut. But, in 2020 Babbit released her own cut of the movie, which is 5 minutes longer and I think the only difference between the two films is the addition of a sex scene that had been cut out of the initial film. It is not a hardcore scene by any means, but it is absolutely gorgeous, and it has some very clever and important shots contained within it, the most memorable for me being the shot of the cross necklace Megan always wears as she is actively having sex with Graham. 
Favorite Quote
“You are who you are, the only trick is not getting caught” 
God is that just like a bullseye statement for queer people, especially the ones who have to stay closeted. Such a quick line, such an active acknowledgement of threat, because everyone that ended up at True Horizons either got caught or couldn’t hide.
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Score
10/10
Next up, Prayers for Bobby, and uh, I have it on good authority that it may leave me looking like Graham in that gif directly above this sentence.
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sophie1973 · 1 month
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I choose you and me (religiously)
Got struck with this idea at five in the morning the other day after a terrible migraine.
Five Sunday mornings in the lives of Henry and Alex.
Read it HERE on AO3, or under the cut.
There’s an unpleasant buzzing in his head.
As soon as he woke up and realized he was alone, Alex ran outside, even though he knew it was futile because Henry had obviously left a few hours earlier. In the middle of the night, like a thief.
Taking Alex’s heart with him.
So now he is barefoot on the deck, staring blankly at the lake’s scintillating waters, clutching the small paper in his hand - the parting note Henry left him.
Henry left, and Alex doesn’t understand why.
The last few days have been incredible. Hours of blissful happiness, lounging in the sun, napping to the sound of the mockingbirds singing, and Henry’s eyes laughing, as blue as the Texan summer sky.
Today, the sun hurts Alex’s eyes, the birds' song is loud and obnoxious, the sky is still the same color as Henry’s eyes, and it feels terribly wrong.
Henry left.
Realization hits him like a tidal wave, and a whimper is ripped out of his throat, turning into a sob, and he crumples, holding his chest, a sudden pain so visceral and unlike he’s ever felt before, a gaping wound as big as the ocean that now sits between them.
It’s Sunday morning in Texas, and Alex’s heart breaks into a million little pieces.
****
The palace’s corridors are drafty and damp, probably because of the storm that was raging the night before.
Alex doesn’t care.
He’s in a tight, warm bubble, holding on to Henry as if his life depended on it.
And maybe it does. 
If Henry had been the one jumping into the lake, it was Alex whose lungs were fighting to breathe as if he had been drowning for the past week.
The noise in his mind plaguing him for the last week has quieted down, and it is now blissfully tranquil as his chest is tucked against Henry’s back, his nose buried in the nape of his neck, finding comfort in the familiar, clean scent. His arm is wrapped over his boyfriend in a tight embrace as his hand holds Henry's wrist in an almost iron grip.
To make sure he doesn't go unnoticed again. 
To anchor himself to the reality of them back in each other’s arms, where they belong.
“Please don’t leave again,” he whispers, thinking Henry is still asleep, but the young Prince stirs and turns around in his arms, and Alex is met with the full force of those cerulean eyes he adores as Henry whispers, “Never,” with a fierce, determined look and something settles in Alex’s chest at the complete certainty that this promise will never be broken.
Their lips meet in a soft kiss, and before surrendering to it, Alex thinks, briefly, happily, that this is the beginning of the rest of their lives.
It is Sunday morning in Kensington, and Alex’s heart is on the mend.
****
It has been an evening of celebration. Of declarations of love, absolute and eternal.
A communion of the souls.
It’s Henry letting out a deep moan as Alex pushes into him and starts thrusting in a well-orchestrated dance they have practiced over the years. It’s in the gasps and cornucopia of curses and words of worship Alex stutters breathlessly as he buries himself deeper until they come crashing together, an explosion of euphoria and complete serenity.
Time stands still in their bedroom where nothing and no one can touch them, at least for a little while.
The morning finds them entangled, a ray of sunshine peeking through the blinds, illuminating Henry’s tousled tawny hair and blissful, gummy smile. Alex is so happy he wants to take a picture to capture this moment forever in its beautiful intimacy. But experience tells him that it is safer to commit it to memory. He closes his eyes as Henry’s hand rests on his cheeks, and he feels the warmth of the gold band now on his finger—the one matching Alex’s.
It’s Sunday morning in Brooklyn, and nobody knows they are engaged.
It’s Sunday morning in Brooklyn, and Alex’s heart is safe.
*********
It’s a full home this weekend, a few weeks after their wedding, and everyone they love is under the same roof for a few days. Even Philip and Martha could join, bringing their kids along, to Henry’s delight.
Alex is watching the beautiful chaos that has taken over their home, 
Henry is in the kitchen, preparing a cake with the help of his 5-year-old niece. She sits on the kitchen island counter and watches rapturously as Henry shows her the ingredients and explains how they will proceed, before he puts some flour on her nose, making her giggle.
And Alex can’t help but envision more days like this, whether it’s them alone or with family, but always, always with the pitter-patter of little footsteps running around and crystalline laughter. 
It’s Sunday morning in Austin, and Alex’s heart is full of hope.
******
Alex wakes up alone that morning, but he’s not worried.
He even stays in bed a little bit longer until the noises coming from the kitchen and the smell of coffee become too enticing, and he joins his husband and daughter in the kitchen.
Millie likes to wake up early, and one of them will always get up to spend time with her. But sometimes she enjoys sleeping in as well, and Alex and Henry always take full advantage of that—trying for a little brother or sister, Alex jokes, mostly because it makes Henry shake his head fondly and blush prettily.
After putting the last of the breakfast dishes away, Alex steps out barefoot, enjoying the warmth of the deck under his feet.
It is another beautiful day. The birds are out for a full concerto, and the sun is high in the sky, highlighting Henry’s blond strands and Millie’s light brown curls with a golden hue as they sit outside, reading one of her books together.
Upon noticing him, Henry smiles and closes the book, pressing a kiss on the crown of her hair. He tells her it’s time to brush her teeth and get dressed—getting dressed means her pink bathing suit and matching shorts. She stops by her papi for a hug and a kiss.
The years have been kind to Henry (To both of them; he always protests, and Alex has to agree), and he looks better than ever. He put on a bit of weight in all the right places, much to Alex’s delight. Years of living in a sunny state have graced his porcelain skin with a light, healthy tan, and his nose with a multitude of freckles (Alex regularly tries to count them kiss by kiss, making Henry scrunch his nose in a way that Alex adores.) His hair is longer, curling at the base of his neck and under his ears. 
But his eyes are still the color of the Texan summer sky, and Alex loves nothing more than to lose himself in them.
He kisses his husband’s cheek, and Alex slips an arm around his waist as Henry nuzzles his nose against his neck and whispers, “I have a little secret. It starts with ‘I love’ and ends with ‘you’”.
It’s Sunday morning at the Lake House, and Alex’s heart is brighter than the sun.
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tinywitchgoblin · 24 days
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Hi I am so sorry I put an ask in a few moments ago for a bad batch ship but I thought of more things to add 😅 so if you don’t mind I’ll start again.
Could I please get a sfw/nsfw if you’re comfortable with that.
I’m in my mid 20s afab, she/her pronouns. I’m an infp a Scorpio, I sit comfortably as an ambivert and I have adhd. I’m 5’7” and am petite with a pear shape body and hearty hips.
I was raised by a kick ass single mother, my passions are music, reading, starwars, theology and mythology.
I am a dreamer who is constantly looking for magic and the impossible. I am empathetic and caring, outgoing, conscientious and compassionate.
In my teen years I was planning on studying to be a doctor like the rest of my family but decided against it when I couldn’t stomach losing patients.
I’m an administrator with a experienced background in medical administration but I have since left the medical profession instead focusing on broad administrative roles.
I my past I have experience with martial arts (ninjitsu and aikido) with focus on Bo staff as well as hand to hand combat and defence, figure skating and reiki.
My family and my friends are my life. I would do anything to protect them. I wouldn’t be who I am today without them. I cannot wait to have children of my own.
I believe that everything in life happens for a reason, both the good and the bad. Everything that we experience shapes us, teaches us and makes us who we are. I wouldn’t change even the worst things I’ve experienced because it makes me who I am. And I’m happy with the person I’ve grown (and am continuing to grow) to be.
If I were in the Star Wars universe I would adore being a powerful force user who only discovered her abilities later into her 20s (who wouldn’t 😂)
I am a romantic person at heart. Although I try to act tough and independent, I’m soft and delicate. I’ve been wronged in love too many times so I have a shield up to protect me. My love language are mainly physical touch and words of affirmation but I enjoy a even amount of all of them. My partner left me at the beginning of the year so I’m learning to be my own person again, heal my heart and start again.
I think I’ve gotten everything this time 😂 thank you so much for your time !
Of course!!
I ship you with...
Echo!
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Echo loves every single thing about you, but if he absolutely had to choose, it would be your heart. He sees how much you care about the people around you and how protective you are of your loved ones. Since you started dating (and even before), you grew to be very protective of his family, too, in a way that none of them had really experienced from a non-clone before. Plus, seeing the way you and Omega bonded made his heart melt.
Echo has been through so much pain and suffering, whether that be during or after the war, and he's grown a bit jaded. However, with you, he started seeing the good in the galaxy again. He admires your outlook on life and your desire to learn from your mistakes and become a better person, and he finds it very inspiring. He also finds it fascinating when you talk about theology, especially when it has tangible applications. Echo was never religious, and it wasn't something he was exposed to when he was younger, so to hear you talk about it is something that means a lot to him. He loves having those types of conversations with you.
Learning different types of martial arts was an integral part of Echo's ARC training, so he's a very skilled martial artist- easily the best of the batch. He loves sparring with you and teaching you some of what he learned, as well as learning new techniques from you. It's a good way to keep in shape and he gets to spend more time with you- it's a win-win! Sometimes, Hunter will join in as he has some martial skills as well, but it usually ends with Echo whooping his ass solely for the purpose of showing off (respectfully, of course).
Due to his prostheses, Echo is a bit nervous about engaging in physical affection with you at first, but eventually, after lots of patience and slowly building up to it, he ends up loving it. Some afternoons, the batch will walk in and see you and him cuddling on the couch, fast asleep, not a care in the world. When you sleep at night, you typically end up spooning, but who ends up in which position tends to vary. Either way, as long as you're together, Echo feels safe and secure, both physically and emotionally; you are his safe place.
-
Thanks for reading! If you want a ship request like this, drop it in my ask box, and don't forget to reblog <3
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