#had a breakdown cause of it LOL its too much to handle | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

zalrb · 11 months

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first off: thank you so much for writing this. i was really hoping youd go for the sirebond fanfic, so your effort is GREATLY appreciated! now let's get to the actual fanfic!

starting off with passionate stelena sex, BLISS! 😍

"Elena woke up with a gasp and when she blinked in the unfamiliar surroundings of her motel room and realized Stefan wasn't beside her, that gasp shuddered out to a sob. She curled onto the bed, gripping the scratchy sheets, and heaved violently as the cries wracked her body."

"She couldn't stand feeling like this. Like there was a slow tearing in her mind, in her very core that had yet to rip her completely apart. She never thought she'd feel this kind of pain again and she thought that it might kill her.

But she couldn't go back.

Staying away was the only way to keep her and Stefan alive."

OH MY GOD... my current facial expression is really similar to this:

LIKE....

LOL rebekah secretly being the biggest stelena stan is just so accurate. its funny cause i can really relate to her admiration for them. stelena is ultimate couple goals

"It would be sickening if it weren't so sincere. Elena's body was weakening, her breathing becoming more and more laborious but Rebekah could see that even in the midst of a physical breakdown, she was at peace. Being next to Stefan, choosing Stefan had made her at peace.

"No matter what happens," she was saying. "It's the best choice I ever made."

the fact that she has absolutely zero regrets despite the fact that choosing him led to her death... I CANT WITH STELENA. THEYRE TOO BEAUTIFUL. MY HEART CANT HANDLE IT

"Damon stared up at her for a second before he pushed her off him and got up in one, smooth motion then stormed off. She followed him, knowing Stefan would find Matt and take care of him. She could trust him to do that. She could trust him with anything."

"Elena shook her head at him, almost relieved in how pointless this all was. "I do know that. And I also know that you never got it and if you don’t get it now, you never will," she said. "I could never have had those things if Matt died. It would have never been the life I wanted without him alive. And you can’t think that far ahead to see that. Stefan can."

I AM LIVING FOR THIS

"Damon narrowed his eyes at her. "Was it ever really a choice?" he asked. "Between him and me?"

Elena bit her lip. "No."

L M F A O !!!!!!! 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

ELENA IS RUTHLESS. damon is garbage that got trashed

She sighed then said softly, "You don't love me, Damon."

He glared at her. "Don't try to make yourself feel better."

"That's not what I'm doing." She made a soft exasperated noise. "Look at what you were about to do to one of my oldest friends. I chose to save his life and you were about to take it, you were about to spit in the face of my choice. You..." she shrugged. "You don't consider anything I want, you don't take my feelings into account, you just do whatever you want because you need me to be alive for you." Elena spoke calmly and simply, as if she were explaining something to a child, which only seemed to inflame Damon. "And I - I get it but ... that ..." She shook her head. "That isn't love, Damon, that's obsession. Like with Katherine."

"You loved her for over a century, Damon, you carried her for over a hundred years, and then you came to town and ripped it apart for her, and she didn't care." Elena watched as the pain of the memory flitted across his face. “What did you do with all of that? Where did it all go?"

YES TO ALL OF THIS!!! thats one of my biggest issues with show. damon moves on from katherine SO QUICKLY after a whole fucking century of obsession. so, just like that, hes over her? bitch please. its so dumb. to be fair though... it wouldnt be. itd actually be brilliant if the show didnt try to gaslight us into thinking that damon was genuinely over her and then madly in love with elena. cause he was neither of those things. he basically transplanted his obsession onto elena. which is why he doesnt respect her as a person. i dont think he ever even explains what he likes about her. damons feelings for elena would be a great commentary on toxic patterns in romantic relationships like obsession, idealization, etc. but the show doesnt address any of this in a meaningful way. love that youre doing it though!

YES TO ALL OF THIS!!! thats one of my biggest issues with show. damon moves on from katherine SO QUICKLY after a whole fucking century of obsession. so, just like that, hes over her? bitch please. its so dumb. to be fair though… it wouldnt be. itd actually be brilliant if the show didnt try to gaslight us into thinking that damon was genuinely over her and then madly in love with elena. cause he was neither of those things. he basically transplanted his obsession onto elena. which is why he doesnt respect her as a person. i dont think he ever even explains what he likes about her. damons feelings for elena would be a great commentary on toxic patterns in romantic relationships like obsession, idealization, etc. but the show doesnt address any of this in a meaningful way. love that youre doing it though!

Exactly this, though!

I had a post about it where I was like everything Damon likes about Elena is about what she can do for him

So I was like, I think it would be interesting if Elena kind of re-realizes this with the clarity of a life-changing event where she's just like ... it's not just that I don't love you, you don't love me.

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thisdreamplace · 9 months

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Hi dream! How was your time away? I hope you’re doing better now and life is treating you kindly.

I wanted to have a good update for when you got back, I kinda do lol. I used to have celebrity crushes. They would be my sp (it was always kpop idols). However, I am black. Despite every kpop idol I “wanted” having said or did something offensive to my race.. I still wanted them. That bothered me. I the law says we can manifest anything, but I had to realize how f*cked up that truly is. 😭 Imagine having a sp that is potentially racist, but you still want them? I had to ask myself, how desperate can you be? What is wrong? (not in a condescending way, but truly) I recognized that it came from an insecure place. Placing everyone and everything on a pedestal, when it should be me there for my life. I don’t know these people, but I do know what they have shown me on camera and it hasn’t been good. The person I dream of being wouldn’t want this. She would live and know that she could have the most perfect person for her. For some reason, it was a hard concept to grasp. I was so stuck on having a kpop sp. I guess I viewed them as perfect (EVEN THO I COULD CLEARLY SEE THEY WERE NOT) and if I could have them, then I must be on their level. Whew. Thankfully, I have come to my senses lmao.

I saw the Barbie movie last week. I do not regret it. I wanted to have fun for once. Everything was okay until I took pictures. Let me tell you, I had the worst breakdown ever. I’m still currently having it. So I took pictures that day and I fell apart. My appearance has always been a struggle to like within. However, it made me feel much worse this day. So much worse that I have not looked at myself on camera since then. I do not look at my reflection anymore. I have been too scared to see myself because I know I will be reminded of how it hurts to even look at myself. I used to check myself whenever I could to see if I finally manifested, but now I can’t handle doing it. I have always been uncomfortable with my appearance (I didn’t even go out because of it). I know we can’t force what we truly feel away, but because of that, I am not sure how to get out of this. I try to live but a part of me truly feels that I deserve to be nowhere or do anything I like because I am not worth anything. I should be embarrassed of myself. I remember my mother playing a video of me yesterday and I wanted to cry because I had to hear my voice………See how bad it is? 😭 I feel lost because I am allowing what I truly feel and think to come forward, but it’s not easy. I don’t know what to do with it all.

One of my parents has also been a problem in my past and now (due to my mind). I still carry resentment from the way they were in the past. I understand it, but I don’t want to deal with it anymore tho. They are better now, and sometimes I am able to let it go but then I think about how much stress they caused but I really just want to let go. When I tried to get an apology, no one listened tbh. I do not care about that, I just want to be released. I am not sure how to release myself from the anger and resentment. I do not need an apology but I do need to free myself. I realize that I can forgive and let go without an apology. I don’t know how to get to that point.

Despite circumstances, the Barbie movie made everything better. I stepped out of my comfort zone, I got a Barbie outfit and I went out. I know my entire message has been such a rollercoaster. It was a little up and then it went down. 😂 I was still happy that I tried. I love the movie.

Its nice that you are back tho, dream. Have you watched Barbie or are there any movies you have watched/will watch? I want to go to the movies again, just for the snacks LMAO.

-😵‍💫 anon

hiiii <3 i'm so happy to hear from you !! 🥹

my time away was... really, really lovely. although it wasn't such a long time away, so much changed and materialized in my life. it was such a reminder how... natural this all is. how the things we want most, that align with our heart, really aren't anything we have to strive for. it's so weird to think, to the ego that,,, we have to do nothing. but my time away was just a really strong reminder of that, as i experienced it all happening so effortlessly. now, i'm just remembering how it's safe to believe in the best outcomes for myself, to sit with everything through the practice of indifference. 🫧

first of all, love how that all came full circle for you !! like seriously, i love how you were able to realize what you truly wanted vs what the ego thought would fulfill some idea of lack within you. thats the thing. our true wants, our true desires, don't ask anything of us other than to just be. to embrace ourselves and who we are, we dont have to bend or anything for them. it's actually really lovely, and i'm glad you realize that for yourself now.

awwwe i wanna see the barbie movie but tbhhhhhh ive been really busy and when im not busy i just wanna lay around hehe :3 its just that kinda end of summer for me rn ! i'm really glad you go to go and dress up and enjoyed it !! i'm really sorry how it ended though. you remind me a lot of myself though, many years ago now. but i lived like you for most of my life. i remember i wouldnt dare look in mirrors, and theres many years of my life where i have no photos to show for it because i absolutely refused to let myself be on camera. sadly, i hated myself to the core and i thought i was so disgusting and terrible. so actually, i understand your pain in that way. but for me... my advice is that kind that might not help you because it's extremely straightforward. the truth is that... i just realized one day, when i began my self love journey (before i even knew the law or anything), that there's really no point in hating my looks bc like. literally. what does it do ? actually nothing. so overnight i decided to think i'm pretty because it literally costs nothing and it literally does no harm... while hating myself actually did a lot of harm. now, i accepted i'm pretty to myself but when i came back into the world (this all happened around covid time) i realized i still think others can think i'm ugly, so i wasn't fully comfortable but... slowly, i just allowed myself to build my confidence. the more i looked in the mirror and hyped myself up, liked what i saw... the more i stopped being afraid to be seen. and it's not always perfect but... you just have to remember it's a daily practice. there's ebbs and flows to life, and safe to be wherever you are.

anyway, thanks so much for your update !! honestly, that's how it is sometimes !! despite everything, i can't say everything these days has been totally easy for me. i can see how my life is beautiful, but the anxiety within me doesn't really care these days. but that's just part of it. and literally, yes. i love movie theatre snacks sooooooo much. thats 75% of the reason i love going hahahah

take care !! xo <3

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the-kipsabian · 1 year

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5, 11, 18, and 27 for "Like it Matters, You Can't Escape"

5. What is the perfect environment for you to write in? anything thats calm enough but ever so slightly busy in the background so that my brain doesnt wander but its kept stimulated. like i often have both a single song or a short enough playlist on and put a very few hour simple scenery background video on my big screen (currently been using this cause its moving enough but the transitions are slow and the changes very minor so i can see something moving but its not distracting) and i can keep going for as long as i have inspiration lol. just anything thats not too loud but not too quiet, both visually and audibly

11. If you could only write angst, fluff, or smut for the rest of your life, which would it be? hooonestly probably angst? i dont do smut anyways and i feel like theres so much well done fluff already out there that i contribute very little to it lol. and angst has always been my cup of tea anyways and its a good way to work with my feelings so. yeah that one lol

18. What is a line/scene you’re really proud of? Give us the DVD commentary for that scene. OKAY SO. theres the part in second chapter of immortal fears, the last bit where oc runs into kip. admittedly a lot of this was accidental until i realized what i had done with it, but the fact that kip emerges from the shadows in a very similar way than he did in the first chapter to confront cassidy was just like. yeah. again, accidental, but the moment i noticed the repetition was like 'okay yeah yep this is gonna be a thing now OKAY'. i just love that part a lot anyways, cause theres also a good amount of foreshadowing in it with how they talk about each others friends and relationships in that short bit, and how kip is showing general concern towards cassidy and whats going on with him - again repetition from the first chapter, but also a good groundwork for the future of how this (at this point still hateful) relationship will develop as kip tries to get under cassidys skin. i just really loved how it mostly accidental came together like. after having not really written a lot of stuff in a long while at that point, it just felt SO GOOD to realize and look at it happening. god im so proud of that second chapter tbh

27. If you were ever to do a sequel to [x fic], what do you think might happen in it? hmm. now that i think about it, theres potentially two options for that. one being a role reversal, so its more or less a similar situation (or one that can be viewed as very similar through the parallels) but instead of kip having the breakdown, its cassidy, and kip has to help him pick up the pieces (both physically and mentally). or, alternatively, we do a similar scene, but show kips improvement and how he would handle the situation now after hes been cared for a lot more and he has learned to more or less handle himself again. time doesnt heal it changes you etc etc.

fic writing questions ~

#thank you for asking! <3 #midnightpretenders0 #can you tell i love talking about immortal fears amsndkjasnjkdnak #i know i dont have to justify myself about that but its just been so long since ive had a long term creative project ive enjoyed this much #and that ive put so much love and work into already #i know three chapters in like a month and a half isnt a lot but it is to me cause like. yeah #but anyways. thank you dear 💜💜

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blind-betrayalmoved · 2 years

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🔥Fire, 🕷spider, and 🎞film for Maria?

🔥 FIRE - what angers them easily? how do they handle their anger?

Greed and cruelty. Kind of basic bitches answers but its true, her whole pre-war law career was driven by the fact she couldn't stand to see others taken advantage of (to the point of her own detriment because...well, you know how the pre-war world was. you honestly think people were given fair trials? she was trying to bucket water out of a sinking boat).

She handles her anger fairly well, she managed to grit her teeth throughout her brotherhood career and at most, be mildly snarky and smug to Maxson (#girlboss). The only times she's gotten overly angry were breakdowns-- Fighting Kellogg, meeting Shaun, Blind Betrayal. She still is capable of controlling herself and her actions, but definitely not her words, lol

🕷 SPIDER - what is / are their biggest fear(s)?

Silly answer: shes deathly afraid of bodies of water and being underwater. Rain, baths, showers, puddles, etc thats fine. it's the second her body starts to disappear under the water (water that usually has living things in it!) that she freaks out. She'll faint if its bad enough, which...isn't great cause you know, drowning.

Serious answer: losing her family, again. Every time Piper goes on a story without her, leaving Danse alone for too long, thinking about raising synth Shaun in a world that's getting better but still very much dangerous. All the people she've met along the way. Nick. Preston. Curie. I think she wakes up in cold sweats sometimes, seeing in her dreams worlds where she doesn't convince Maxson to stand down, or something going wrong in the Institute, the explosion with synth Shaun still in it. its enough to make her hysterical, and more than overly protective

🎞 FILM - what is their greatest / happiest memory?

Ngl had to think about this a little bit, thinking of the fairly obvious ones: giving birth to Shaun, getting her law degree, eloping with Nate.

But honestly?

When she arrives at Diamond City, she's a husk of her past self. Still very much uncertain and weak, still emotionally damaged from the vault and murder-kidnapping, still physically recovering from her c-section and the deathclaw fight. AND having to talk about Shaun all over again to Piper and Nick? Its...rough.

You know that dialogue Piper has where she calls Takahashi her special informant, and she jokingly says this:

Well, it's this moment that marks the first time Maria smiles, as in really smiles and laughs since she came out of the vault. It's not like she falls in love right there, but the interaction definitely marks an important moment where the world shifted from nightmare to fragile hope, just because Piper went out of her way to cheer her up

#asks #ty ty <3 I have so many brainworms abt this lady #maria ikamoto

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dededaio · 2 years

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If you were in charge of an official Kirby continuity (like a manga or light novel or anime series drawn/written/directed by YOU) where everyone's character development starts at square 1, how would you write King Dedede's transition from villain to hero? How long would you make villain! Dedede last? Would he even be a villain at all? It's your own version of the Kirby universe so it can have its own differences from the others. (If you feel like it, you can talk about Meta Knight too)

ACTUALLY REALLY INTERESTING QUESTION! i'm so used to going from canon scenarios i never pictured how i would handle my own kirby continuity from ground up all that much.

if i were in charge, i would absolutely start dedede off as a villain. one of the strongest parts of his character and what makes him so memorable is his character development.

i would play him up as somewhat of an actual threat early on, i don't like depictions of dream land 1-era conflicts where dedede is portrayed as someone pathetic. he's the first challenge kirby had to face, so he has to be appropriately hard to overcome. he would be goofy, of course and i would hint at his sympathetic side (like i would make it so he merely wants to beat kirby up and throw him away from the castle, but he NEVER has any intent to kill, which is important, considering that MK himself wouldn't hesitate on their first meeting lol)

i would affect his character development heavily based on two factors, moment where kirby feels sorry for him where he breaks down crying over his loss and comforts him (dedede thinks that he lost everything at this very moment, all respect and all subjects, so it's not just pathetic "i lost a fight" breakdown) and him being an observer of the chain reaction of events that were indirectly caused by him stealing food in the first place.

after story arc related to dream land 1 and brief intermission on gourmet race where i would establish his desire to be rivals with kirby, i would build up dedede's desire to do some good as comic relief character who tries his best to resolve those dream land conflicts on his own, but always fails to do so, with kirby not even being aware he was there.

in milky way wishes story arc i would go for more somber tone of this part of his development, he himself can't travel through space, only kirby has warp star, so only way he can "redeem" himself and help in any way is to ask kirby if he will take his assistance. but his ego and the fear that after all his previous failures he won't be able to help at all, he refuses to do so in the end.

during kirby and marx fight, i would make a cutaway to popstar, where dedede watches the fight from the balcony of the castle, rooting for him. it was the night, so no one was aware that he's been doing that...

then, of course, kirby's adventure arc happens. here, i won't even try to pretend that dedede not being a villain is a twist, i would rather play up entire conflict for drama. where dedede being misunderstood by everyone, kirby included, who actually gave him a chance for redemption before fucks him up a lot, but he doesn't give up in his strive to do good.

in the climax, where kirby realizes that he done fucked up, dedede is almost about to scream "WELL I TOLD YOU SO" but before he can even do that, kirby walks up to him and profoundly apologizes.

"I... I d-don't even know what to do anymore... Are we doomed?"

Dedede, being flabbergasted at the fact that Kirby actually starts to lose hope, remembers, that at the end of the day, he's still just a kid.

"If you could beat that crazy jester guy, I'm sure you will be able to handle that too. I won't be able to accompany you, since time is running out fast, but I can give you a lift."

After which, he sends him with Star Rod after Nightmare Ball.

This would be the point where I would make them unambiguously friends onwards. Since I organized events rather differently from the games and gave them both more development/interaction, I don't think I need to include his tsundere side he briefly shown during Dark Matter Trilogy games.

I have some ideas on Meta Knight too but I wrote so much on this topic on Dedede alone so I might just make separate post on my own Klu-Written Kirby AU where I play around with pre-established scenarios and characters mixed in with my own ideas.

#kirby #king dedede

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corysmiles · 3 years

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Little streamer AU prompts!

-Thinking they were all humans, either Wil or Phil bought tickets for them all to go to an amusement park....but Tommy’s too short to ride. Where does it go from there? Does Wilbur feel bad and sob out apologies? Does Tommy say it’s fine and that they can go without him, only to get kidnapped/lost? Does Tommy say f*ck it and try to sneak on with Tubbo? Your choice :)

-The bois at the arcade during the meetup. They try to cheat the games by having Tommy roll skeeballs into the best slot, or go inside machines to fix the game in their favor

-While Tubbo has Lani, and Phil has probably had like a borrower coworker or something, this is Wil’s first time heavily interacting with someone so small, and constantly watches the others and stays up at night googling how to best handle a borrower. Some of the suggestions he gets from online are way too formal and Tommy is confused as heck at where he’s getting these ideas. Like Wil you don’t have to wash your hands before picking me up if we’re RUNNING LATE C’MON LETS GO

-(the angst prompt) Tommy was so excited to meet others his size and during the meet up he doesn’t feel included or something, and he ahas a mental breakdown. Maybe he hides in a small space so the others can’t find/reach him

-If you don’t have plans for techno yet, maybe he’s also a tiny and thought he was the only one of any of his online friends, but the group FaceTimes him and he sees Tommy is small too but doesn’t make a big deal out of it, just a mentions it in the conversation at some point. Tommy feels instantly better. “Technoblade’s a bigger bad ass than any of you talk freaks!” “Techno was already the coolest, but none of you have a chance now.”

-Tommy wrestles with everyone’s hands

If you can’t tell I love this idea so much lol

-🦎anon

omg I love your ideas so much thank you and I’m so so sorry this post is so long I was gonna split it up but then I was motivated and got really excited (also pls forgive me for any spelling errors this is long and I didnt want to go back and edit it) :]

Little streamer au drabbles

—————————————————————

When Phil and Kristen had originally been planning out all the things they could do at the meet up they didn’t take into account the possibility that any of their friends might be well...tiny. So when the day came for the group to go to the amusement park and they were stopped by security at the first ride Phil knew the day wasn’t going to end well.

“Sorry sir,” the man said to Wilbur who currently had Tommy in his front pocket, “Tinies can’t go on the rides here, it’s too much liability for the park.”

Wilbur just stared at the man in mild confusion, “What if I hold him though, there’s no way anything could happen.”

The man just shrugged, “I don’t know it’s the park’s rules not mine so you can either stay out here with him or pass on rides for today.”

Wilbur looked down at the small teen in his pocket and could tell he was getting upset by the confrontation. Tommy’s shoulders drooped and he kept his eyes down as if to not show the others his disappointment.

“Its alright big man, go on I can stay down here,” Tommy whispered and patted Wilbur’s chest reassuringly. The attempt at comfort just made Wilbur’s frown grow.

“Hey it’s alright Will I’ll stay down here with Tommy,” Tubbo said, “I’m not the biggest fan of heights anyways.”

Wilbur reluctantly agreed and handed over the tiny to the other teen who walked over to one of the benches to wait for the others.

When Wilbur and Phil got off the roller coaster they panicked when they couldn’t find the two teens until they found Tubbo riding on a carousel horse with Tommy hanging off the pole.

Safe to say Wilbur didn’t let Tubbo take Tommy the rest of the day. (Sorry i didnt do angst for this one)

(More under the cut)

—————————————————————

Tommy was so excited to go to the arcade with his friends. When they got there though and Tommy saw all the prizes he could win he started to form a plan.

Tubbo of course would be the one to help him out though since he was the only one that was willing to let Tommy cause any chaos.

It started with small things like having him help them cheat on skeeball or hit targets with his hands on shooting games until they started to look for more ways to cheat.

For the final plan, Tubbo watched as Tommy climbed through the slot of a crane machine and tried to push a large bear toy into the hole.

When he saw the bear he thought Wilbur would like it and while Tubbo was usually opposed to crane games since it’s just a “waste of fucking money” he wasn’t necessarily opposed to helping Tommy get into the machine.

Everything was going fine until a woman with a child came over to the machine to play for themselves; immediately Tommy ducked down beneath the plushies so they wouldn’t get caught and Tubbo began to panic when he lost sight of the tiny.

It was at that moment that the rest of the group came over to Tubbo and asked where Tommy was.

“Uhhh hes in the bathroom,” Tubbo said nervously.

Phil tilted his head at the boy, “Uhuh...where is he Tubbo?”

“Ummmm so about that big man we uh-“

However, Tubbo was interrupted by his phone dinging and his face went pale as he read the text from Tommy.

-Pls get me out of here big man I can’t get this shit off me anymore-

“Uhhhh...oh fuck,” Tubbo muttered, “Um I have not the best news for you.”

“And what’s that?” Wilbur asked.

“Ummm do you have any coins on you?”

Phil looked at Tubbo with confusion, “Yeah, why do you ask mate?”

Tubbo turned back to the crane where the mother and daughter had left and laughed nervously, “well....ummm so by bathroom I kinda meant uh the crane machine? Yeah, Tommy’s in there.”

The adults immediately freaked out at the situation because what the fuck were the kids thinking. And when Tubbo told Wilbur they were just trying to get the teddybear for him cause Tommy thought he’d like it, he felt even more dread.

After almost an hour of Wilbur and Phil putting in money into the claw machine they finally got enough toys out of the way to see the tiny.

With one more try Tommy was able to grab onto the claw and let himself fall out of the machine. Wilbur immediately scooped him up to scold him for being a dumbass but when he saw that Tommy’s face was red and swollen he decided instead to just slip Tommy into his pocket to rest.

With the extra cheated tickets though they were able to buy Tommy a tiny plastic nerf gun from the arcade before they left.—————————————————————

Wilbur was surprised at how quickly Phil and Tubbo were okay with Tommy’s size. While Tubbo apparently had a tiny sister and Phil had had tiny friends before, Wilbur couldn’t recall ever actually interacting with someone so small expect for in passing.

He really cared about Tommy as both a friend and as a brother and he was so afraid of messing up with the teen. He didn’t want to hurt or offend Tommy in any way so of course he went to the best place to figure out what to do: wikihow.

The articles were strange for sure but anything to make Tommy feel more comfortable with him would be worth it.

So the next day when Tommy was supposed to be eating breakfast at Wilbur’s house and Wilbur wouldn’t pick him up to put him on the table he thought the taller man was just being a dick.

Then when Tommy asked him if he would pick him up Wilbur walked away from him to go to the bathroom instead of helping him.

After a minute the brunette man walked back and reached a hand down to lay besides Tommy. Tommy stepped onto his palm and expected him to pull him up towards him but when he didn’t he started to get really annoyed.

“Hey you can move what the fucks up witb you right now you’re being all weird and shit man,” Tommy grumbled.

“Huh? Oh I just...I was looking up some stuff about uh tinies and I thought maybe it would make you more comfortable?” Wilbur whispered with embarrassment.

“What?” Tommy laughed, “Why the fuck would you do that you were fine before I would tell you if I wasn’t comfortable big man you don’t have to worry about that.”

Wilbur felt his heart swell at the comfort and slowly lifted Tommy up to the table for them to eat together. It was still strange having someone so small around but Wilbur would get used to it for Tommy.—————————————————————

Tommy usually didn’t have any problems with having bigger people around. All his friends at home and his family were all humans so he knew he was overreacting about none of his online friends being tinies. But when they went out to dinner together and Phil, Tubbo, and Wilbur were all talking together while Tommy sat next to Wilbur’s cup something broke inside him.

The reason he loved streaming so much was that he thought he finally had met other people like him, but he guessed it was his own fault for never really checking.

As the three laughed loudly Tommy felt himself becoming more and more overwhelmed by the chaos in the restaurant. He couldn’t cry now though his friends were having fun, it would be a dick move for him to ruin the meet up for them just because he expected them to be tinies.

Throughout the meal and on the way home Tommy was mostly silent, he sat in Wilbur’s pocket as they arrived at the man’s apartment. Wilbur waved goodbye to Phil and Tubbo as he took Tommy inside.

Wilbur sat Tommy down on the counter as he changed and Tommy finally felt a few tears fall from his eyes. He heard the sound of a door opening and quickly hid behind a tea box so Wilbur wouldn’t see him in this state.

He started to shake as the tears kept coming while he heard Wilbur searching around for him.

“Tommy?” Wilbur called out but Tommy couldn’t even get a solid breath much less respond.

After a few moments Tommy felt the tea box he was hiding near shift as a large hand wrapped him up gently.

“Oh jeez Tommy are you okay?” Wilbur asked as he lifted Tommy to his eyes.

Tommy wiped his eyes and slowly nodded to Wilbur who looked heartbroken by the tears.

Wilbur sighed, “Do you want to talk about it?”

Tommy shook his head no and Wilbur gave the boy a sad smile.

“I’m sorry Tommy, we’ll talk about this later okay,” he whispered as he tucked Tommy up against his chest. He held the tiny until he heard soft snores replace the sobs and promised himself that whatever made him this sad would never happen again.—————————————————————

Techno had been tweeting at the rest of the sleepy boys since the start of the meetup. The American wished he had gotten to meet up with his friends but sadly because of covid there was no way to safely visit the UK, so instead they settled for FaceTiming one night so that Techno wouldn’t feel as left out.

Techno grabbed his specially made phone and anxiously waited for the call. When Phil’s contact showed up Techno opened it immediately and was greeted by the familiar blonde human’s face along with Tubbo in the corner.

“Hey Techno!” Phil smiled as Tubbo waved aggressively.

Techno smiled and waved back, “Hullo.”

After a little bit of shuffling Wilbur appeared on the screen with something cupped in his hands.

“What you got there Will?” Techno asked with an amused expression.

“It’s me bitch! Ayyy Techno,” a loud and annoying but familiar voice yelled form the taller man’s hands.

“Oh hey Tommy,” Techno laughed, but besides that there was almost no reaction to Tommy’s height.

“That’s it? No big ‘wow you’re small’ or like ‘poggers’ or anything?” Tommy asked.

Techno hummed in response, “Nah why would I care your nothing special cause you’re small.”

Tommy huffed and crossed his arms at Techno, “I’m not special bitch? I’m the only tiny here I’m amazing!”

A small chuckle left Techno as he realized the situation.

“And why are you so sure you’re the only one huh?”

Tommy blinked wide eyed at Techno before a wide grin spread across his face.

“Wait you’re small too?” Phil asked.

Techno nodded to his friends who all had different ranges of shock on their faces.

“Oh fuck yeah!” Tommy screeched causing everyone to laugh.

“See I knew this is why you were so much cooler than these bitches were alpha men you see,” Tommy laughed.

“Yeah,” Techno smiled, “I’m sure that’s why.”

The rest of the call was calmer however Tommy continued to insist that Techno and him were much cooler than the rest of the them. —————————————————————

The first time Tommy had been grabbed to try to get him to calm down or stay still it had been by Phil when he was trying to cook breakfast and Tommy kept getting too close to the stove top. Phil placed his hand over Tommy to keep him still when he felt the kid latch onto his pointer finger and try to pull it away.

“Ay what are you doing mate?” Phil laughed as the tiny continued to struggle with his finger.

“I’m wrestling you big man can’t you tell, and I’m fucking winning!” Tommy grinned.

Phil chuckled at the kid before flipping him over with his thumb.

“Yup you’re winning sure,” he said slyly.

When Wilbur and Tubbo walked in to Phil trying to pin down Tommy with his fingers while the small boy laughed and pushed them away as much as he could they had no fucking clue what was going on.

#🦎 anon #mcyt gt #mcyt g/t #little streamer au #t!tommy #g!wilbur #g!tubbo #g!philza #t!techno #corywrites

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yamigooops · 3 years

Text

Break My Heart

pairing: oikawa x gn!y/n genre: pure angst warnings: just angst really, I just wanted to write something sad lol words: ~2k

“Tell me you've never loved me Tell me that it wasn't real Just say you've found somebody else I wanna know the way it feels (Break my heart)” - Break My Heart by Hey Violet

a/n - time to break all your hearts, this had me tearing up while writing so hopefully it does the same to you so I'm not the only one hurting >:')

You were done, you’d had more than enough. You lay in bed, alone, for the fourth night in a row, waiting for your boyfriend of two and a half years to come home, and you were sick of it. Reaching over to turn on the light beside the bed, you picked up your phone to check the time. Almost 2 am. He should have been home an hour ago at the very latest.

With a huff, you threw the sheets off your body, sitting up. You rested your forehead in your hands, elbows braced against your knees. What else could you do? You’d told him so many times you’d lost track that he needed to try harder, that you needed more from him if this relationship was going to work. But he always brushed you off, assuring you that things would get better.

But they weren’t.

You sent a text to your best friend, knowing they’d be up at this time anyway, and asked if you could come to spend the night. You wanted him to know how it felt to go to fall asleep in an empty bed, just like you had done so often lately. Receiving an affirmative text from your friend, you rose and started to pack a bag for tomorrow.

Your mind raced. Did he even want to be in this relationship anymore? Did you? He had been putting in the minimum effort as of late, spending the vast majority of his time at training or going out with his friends and teammates. It seemed he had more time for everyone other than you, and you weren’t sure you could take it anymore. You almost wanted him to end it, almost wanted to get in a fight about it just to have him show anything other than nonchalance about the situation.

You had been so lost in your thoughts you hadn’t heard him come in, unaware of his presence until he opened the bedroom door. “Y/N? What are you doing up so late?” The smooth silk of his voice shocked you in the silence of the room, making you whirl around to face him.

There he was, Oikawa, in all his glory. His tanned skin bore a sheen of sweat, and his chocolate hair was mussed, from the wind or something else you had no clue. He looked worn out, though that could have been from practice or going out to the club. You wouldn’t know, since this was the first you’d seen of him since he left this morning to go to practice.

You clutched the sweatshirt you were holding to your chest, subconsciously shrinking back from the tall man. You weren’t expecting him to come home until after you had left, now it would be all that much harder to leave. “Um, hi Oikawa,” you muttered, taking a deep breath. “I’m going over to Y/F/N’s place for the night.” You were surprised you got the words out, almost caving at the thought of getting to spend even a little time with your boyfriend, even if it was at two in the morning.

“Why would you do that?” He cocked his head, looking genuinely confused. A small pout formed on his features, and you could tell he was genuinely a bit upset about it.

“Well, I-“ you broke off, not knowing what to say. “We were talking, and they invited me over, and since you weren’t back yet I thought I would go,” you lied. You weren’t sure why you did though, the angry part of you said you should have just told him flat out that you were upset with him. But the peacemaker in you won out, unwilling to cause a fight where it wasn’t necessary.

“But it’s a weeknight, why wouldn’t you just wait until the weekend? Don’t you have work in the morning?” He set his gym bag down on the bed, unzipping it to remove his dirty clothes from practice.

You gulped, mind flying as you came up with a cover. “They, uh, they’re having a bit of a breakdown right now, I was going to go over help them calm down.” You resumed packing your bag, placing each article of clothing inside carefully as you felt his eyes on your back.

“C’mon,” he whined. “I feel like I’ve barely seen you all week, can’t you just stay? We can cuddle. Usually, you’re asleep by the time I get home, so I’ve been missing out.” The pout was back in full force as he came up behind you to snake his arms around your midriff. He placed a kiss on the back of your head before resting a cheek on your hair.

“Yeah, we’ve barely seen each other all week,” you reiterated, something igniting in your chest. “And whose fault would that be?” The words came out before you could stop them, sharp as knives.

He stiffened against you, arms loosening. “Y/N, I have practice every day but Sundays, you know that,” he replied, a bit defensively.

You pulled out of his grasp, picking up your bag and placing it on the bed. “Yeah, and what about when your practice is over? Hmm? Where do you go then? From 6 to 2 in the morning?” You couldn’t stop the anger from bubbling over, your chest burning with it. Now that you’ve started, you couldn’t stop yourself. “Are you just hanging out with your friends instead of your girlfriend? Are you going out to the clubs?” Your tone was pure venom as angry tears welled in your eyes. Dropping your voice to a whisper, you hissed out the last thought in your mind. “Are you seeing someone else?”

He gaped at you, lips parted and eyes wide as he comprehended what you had said. “Am I- what?!” His voice raised at the end in indignation. “You think I’m cheating on you? You think that’s the kind of man I am?”

“What else am I supposed to think when I’ve gone to bed alone for the last four nights in a row?” You cried, tears blurring your vision. “Torū, I’ve barely seen you at all this week, tell me you wouldn’t be suspicious too!”

He froze, eyebrows coming together slowly. “No, I don’t think I would be,” he defended. “I have quite a bit of faith in you, and it hurts me to know that you have so little in me.” His voice cracked slightly on the last word. You brought your hands up to press the heels into your eyes, hoping to do something to relieve the pressure building behind them.

“My point isn’t to call you a cheater, Torū, all I meant by that was that I have no idea what you’re out doing because you don’t talk to me!” Your voice grew thick with emotion, face growing flush as you raised your arms up to clasp your forearms above your head, eyes still screwed shut.

“Y/N, I’ve just been spending time with the team, that’s all,” he replied exasperatedly, and you heard the soft thump of his clothes falling into the hamper. “I’m sorry if I haven’t been spending enough time with you, but there are other important people in my life besides you!”

His words left you silent, and you opened your eyes to look at the ceiling, head tilting back slightly. The lump in your throat grew, making it unbearable to swallow back the tears that slipped from the corners of your eyes.

“If they’re all so important,” you whispered, “then maybe you don’t need me anymore.” You released your arms, letting them fall to your sides as you came to meet his gaze. The sight almost shattered your heart.

He looked at you like a lost child, mouth agape and hands clenching and unclenching at his sides. Were those tears in his eyes? You couldn’t tell from the distance between you. He reached up to run a hand through his hair, letting it rest on the back of his neck. “So… what are you saying Y/N? Hmm? Because I’m not sure at this point,” he breathed, eyes meeting yours and filled with emotion.

You took a moment to get your thoughts in order before responding. “I guess what I’m saying is-” you hesitated, unsure if you should continue. Could you continue with this relationship? Were you happy with him anymore? “I want you to break my heart. It’s already on its last leg and I just need you to cut the last strings because I don’t think I can do it by myself.”

There was a look of pure agony in his eyes. His hands went limp at his sides, and his shoulders fell. “Y/N I-” His voice cracked with emotion. “I don’t think I can do that." He took a step toward you, then another, until he stood just a few inches away, looking like he wanted to wrap his arms around you but refraining. “Why didn’t you tell me sooner?”

All you wanted was rest your head against his chest, cry into the soft fabric of his shirt and act like you were still in love with him. But you couldn’t, not anymore. “I was scared that if I talked to you about it, then that would make it real,” you whispered into the space between, eyes stuck on the collar of his shirt and unable to meet his.

There was a pause, silence overcoming the two of you and thickening the air around you. You could practically hear his brain working to come up with a response that wouldn’t kill you, and you almost broke and fell against him. But you didn’t, couldn’t.

“I don’t think I could ever bring myself to break your heart,” he murmured, words smooth and soft. “But if you need me to cut whatever ties you have left, I’ll do it, even though it kills me. Whatever you need, I’ll do, even if it means I have to lose you.”

It was then that you gathered the courage to meet his eyes, and the moment you did you regretted it. Tears slid down his angled face, shining in the soft light of the lamp. Your heart crumpled, nearly unable to handle the fact that you were doing this to him.

You allowed yourself to reach up and rest your hands on his cheeks. “I’m so sorry,” your thumbs ran beneath his eyes in a useless attempt to wipe away his sadness. “I never want to hurt you, but this just isn’t working anymore, and my heart can’t take it. I’m sorry.”

He leaned down to rest his forehead against yours, eyes shut, and lower lip drawn between his teeth. His hands came to rest lightly on your hips, fingers wrapping into the material of your shirt. “I know, I know,” he assured you softly. “Things haven’t been the best between us lately, I know that now, but still-” Your hands snaked around his neck, effectively pulling him closer. His lips came to press against your forehead, and the feeling almost made you melt into him. “I’ll always love you Y/N, but if you need me to cut ties, I’ll cut them.”

The feeling of his breath against your skin brought on a fresh wave of tears as you nodded. “Thank you, Torū,” you murmured, fingers running through the short hair at the nape of his neck. “Thank you for everything, I mean it.”

He sighed, pulling you against his chest as his arms encircled you fully. “I know, Y/N, you’re welcome.”

consider buying me a coffee for exclusive writing

#haikyuucafe #THERE YOU GO #I HOPE I DESTROYED YOUR HEART #oikawa x y/n #oikawa angst #oikawa toru #oikawa toru angst #oikawa toru fic #haikyuu #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu angst #haikyuu fic #angst #mine #my post #100

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littlegiantposts · 3 years

Text

movie night

pairing: todoroki x f!reader

warning: strong language probably. possible anime/manga spoilers! grammar mistakes :( I suck at writing

summary: It’s not that Y/n didn’t want friends, it’s just people always found her intimidating

a/n: this is completely self-indulgent lol sorry about that, so like yeah I’m gonna be saying y/n, but also i am deriving her personality, attitude, looks from a character that I’ve sort of made up in my head haha. also idk if this is like a headcanon, imagine, or like a scenaro....so sorry. And like, sort of a side note, I love making main characters that are like sorta op so y/n’s quirk and story is sorta insane, but you guys dont really have to worry about it too much because its not really in this so....yeah, i guess its just some context. I wrote this while listening to a playlist I made, titled, “ur a badass hero with class 1-a” on spotify so if ppl wanna hear it, I will post a link to it lol. OH and class 1-a are in their second year! That’s a lot, sorry! But, I hope you enjoy!

y/n’s quirk (if ur curious): controlling the 4 elements (aang from the last airbender vibe lmao); but she also got a companion named koda (think of Moro-no-kimi from Princess Mononoke for the look)

Y/n was never good at making friends. It’s not like she didn’t try, because she did. When she was a little kid, living on Catalina Island, she made a lot of attempts to make friends with fellow children in her pre-school and middle school. It just seemed that they wanted nothing to do with her, talking bad about her behind her back or acting as if she just didn’t exist.

It started to get exhausting for Y/n to keep trying and ending up always failing. So, when enrolling in the top hero school, UA, Y/n thought that maybe, just maybe, things would be different.

Nonetheless, it’s not like she had absolutely no one. She had Koda! Her best friend in the whole wide world, well her only friend, which was her pet wolf. However, Koda doesn’t like being called a “pet”, let’s stick with her companion. They are quite the inseparable duo.

Y/n looked down at Koda from her desk who was lulling herself to sleep on the floor as Present Mic was teaching an English lesson. Y/n wished she too can sleep at this moment, “It wouldn’t hurt if I just closed my eyes for just a couple minutes.” Y/n thought. Oh, she was wrong though.

“Alright! We are going take a short break since we need to get our new textbooks,” Present Mic’s voice rang through her ears with all his elongation and passion, “Y/n and Todoroki! What about you two go get the books from the library!” Y/n would have jolted at the mention of her face, but she was honestly too tired to do so.

She nodded her head, got up from her desk, and looked at Koda if he was going to follow her. Of course, he perked up at the mention of her name and was going with her. A small smile was now on Y/n’s lips. Y/n was glad that she knew she can depend on Koda, always in her corner.

As she pushed her chair away from her desk, getting up and walking towards the door, she didn’t realize that most of the class was either looking at her or the half and half boy, for he had to endure the trip with the enigma that is Y/n.

The class just doesn’t know Y/n that well. She was one of the new students this year, along with Shinso. However, they at least knew of Shinso from last year. Y/n was a brand-spanking new addition to the class. Not to mention, her introduction to the class was nothing short of intimidating.

Aizawa knew Y/n had a lot of strengths. In fact, he used her skills as a type of learning lesson for the class. Not to mention, he completely singled her out during the “lesson” as he instructed the class that Y/n will have a bell that is tied around her belt. All they had to do was get the bell. Y/n, being the competitive person she was, didn’t back down at this challenge. Safe to say, no one was able to get the bell that day.

Y/n sighed at the memory. “Maybe, if you had some chill, you would be able to get a friend, Y/n” a voice in her head said, causing Y/n’s shoulders to shrink and her hands to be stuffed into her pockets. (Yes, she has pockets with her uniform. Yes, she’s still wearing the school uniform skirt. She sowed pockets into them for this very habit.)

“Uh, hey wait up.” a deeper voice called, already identifying who it is.

Y/n turned to right, looking at Koda for a brief second. From far away, one would think he was just grimacing, but as Y/n was closer, she can see he was very close to full-on growling at the sound of his voice.

Koda doesn’t really like Todoroki and Y/n always found it funny. Koda found everyone else real entertaining. As much as Koda was a wolf, he really was a people’s person. If Y/n didn’t know any better, it seemed Koda had a better relationship with her classmates than she actually did.

Y/n adopted a tired smile as she reacted to Koda’s growling at Shoto. She then looked behind her, seeing Todoroki jog lightly towards her. Her small smile soon faded away.

“Even if you try again to be a friend, you know that people will always end up fearing you.” Y/n honestly wanted to bang her head against a wall because this annoying voice was truly the bane of her existence.

Y/n stopped in her tracks. Koda made eye-contact with her, almost telepathically asking her, “Why are you stopping for him?!”.

“I may be aloof, but I have to at least be polite.” Y/n told her wolf companion. Koda only let out a breathe of frustration as he also stopped as well.

Todoroki soon caught up to the duo and was on Y/n’s left side. And the three began their trek to the school library.

There was some silence.

For Todoroki, it was so awkward. “Why don’t you say something to her?” he asks himself, “Or are you going to let another opportunity slip?”

You see, Shoto Todoroki admired Y/n. She was incredibly skilled with her quirk. She was confident, but not arrogant. She was an innovator, while still accepting old principles. She was naturally smart, but always open to learning. To him, she was so balanced. He couldn’t help himself as the admiration started to soon feel like a crush on the dark haired girl.

For Y/n, she didn’t think anything of the silence. In fact, she was grateful for the silence. More silence, means less time for talking. Less chance of Y/n making a fool out of herself.

“You seem more tired than usual. Trained a lot yesterday, I presume?” And Todoroki broke the silence that Y/n was trying to insist.

“Yeah, trying out a new technique with my water.”

Y/n was surprised.

She really could have been more blunt with her answer.

Theoretically, all she really had to respond with was a “yeah”, but she decided to add that last part.

Why? Why did she feel inclined to go into more detail? Now, Y/n was confused.

“That’s cool.” Todoroki wanted to hit himself in the head. “That’s all you got to say? What a conversation this is” Shoto mentally sighs. He feels like his heart is going to burst at how fast its going.

“I’m actually trying to freeze it, but that turns out to be harder than expected,” Y/n almost slapped her hand on her mouth.

Why is she going into more detail? This doesn’t make sense. She’s been quite blunt lately when people try to talk to her, so what gives?

Is it Todoroki, himself? “Maybe he put a spell on me or something.” Y/n didn’t think the “icy-hot bastard” would dabble in witchcraft, but things were just not adding up in Y/n’s mind. All these thoughts woke Y/n right up, ridding herself of her tiredness.

As for Todoroki, his mind was going into overdrive. “She’s having trouble with freezing water? She must know that this is my specialty. Is this her way of spending time with me? Does this mean the feelings I have for her are mutual? Perhaps, we can train together and I can help her with freezing.” The mere thought of spending time with Y/n outside of class made his cheeks warm up.

He was an absolute love-struck fool for Y/n.

“Oh, we’re here.” Y/n stated the obvious as they stand in front of the school’s library, halting Shoto’s mental mumbling, which almost resembled one of Midoryia’s ever-present babbling.

Shoto Todoroki immediately shot his arm forward to open the door for Y/n, but Y/n was thinking the same thing and they reached for the same handle.

Their hands touch.

And Todoroki thinks he can die happy now. Y/n’s hand is so soft. Much to his dismay, Y/n immediately drew her hand back as if his hand was scalding hot water.

Y/n mumbled a quick “sorry” and places her hand on the other handle as there are two doors to the library, she opens it and immediately walks through it as Koda follows in tow. Koda dawns an absolute confused look as he didn’t know what the hell that interaction was about.

The actual task of getting the books aren’t that hard. In fact, it was an easy and quick task.

So, why is this causing Y/n’s mind and heart feeling like they are overheating.

As they walk back to the classroom with stacks of textbooks, Y/n thought, “Okay, there’s no way in hell that he will try to talk to me again, especially after that awkward incident. Now, let’s breakdown why the actual hell you acted that way, Y/n.” She mentally scolded herself like she was a child.

Todoroki, as always, had a different plan and decided to continue the conversation, “You know, if you need help with freezing water, I can always help you since that is part of my quirk.”

Y/n has officially short-circuited.

He is voluntarily asking? Voluntarily. Asking?

Asking if Y/n wanted to train together?

This has never happened before, and she doesn’t know how to respond. “I would like that. I typically train in the morning and sometimes after school” is what Y/n felt like saying. It is as if her mind and mouth were working against each other.

However, Y/n’s thoughts were cut short as she heard the chatter of some of her fellow classmates. They three of them were very close to their classroom as their door to the room was wide open.

“Hey guys, if we’re having a movie night tonight, do you think we should invite Y/n?”

It was Midoryia who asked the question. Y/n, Shoto, and Koda stopped dead in their tracks at the mention of her name. Shoto and Koda looked at Y/n with a worried expression. For her own good, she probably shouldn’t be listening, but she couldn’t help but be curious of her classmates’ plan in regards to her.

“It’s not that we don’t want her there. It’s just that, who is up for asking her?”

Silence. No one responded to the question.

Koda notices how Y/n’s grip on the textbooks tightened. Shoto noticed how your head was now titled downward, hiding your face.

“She’s just so intimidating. And not to mention that training exercise we did when we first met her. She’s sort of scary, to be honest.”

“Scary. You’re scary, Y/n. Terrifying.” She couldn’t help but repeat her classmates’ thought of her. She was just torturing herself at this point. No point in dwelling on first impressions, but as this is affecting her current relationship, or lack thereof, with her classmates, she couldn’t help it.

“Y/n-” Todoroki tries to interject before Y/n gets the wrong idea.

But, it’s too late.

“No, it’s fine. Thanks for the offer though, Todoroki.” Y/n’s words were slow. As much as her brain was going a million miles per hour, her mouth was evidently slower as her breathing was heavier.

She wanted to disappear, or at least get swallowed by the ground. She kept her head down as she strode into the classroom. Her classmates being oblivious to Y/n’s knowledge of what they truly think of her, paying no attention to her.

Shoto was basically frozen in place, next to the door, but he gained composure and walked in the class as well, a couple seconds after. Y/n quickly placed her books on the front desk where Present Mic sat behind of, she sat back in her seat that was in the back of the class.

Y/n watched how Shoto was still standing in front of the classroom as he was stopped by his classmates. Now, they were just chatting, probably talking about the upcoming movie night.

Y/n felt jealousy bubble up inside her. She wished she can chat like how Shoto was effortlessly talking away to his classmates. Or how Midoryia stopped him with such ease to talk about a social event.

Y/n yearned for some friendly interaction. That’s what she wanted when coming to UA.

She wanted to be normal. As normal as she could be. A normal teenager.

“Things don’t always go according to plan, huh?” Y/n pouted and placed her head on her desk and just waited patiently till the school day was over.

Koda worriedly looked at Y/n. “She’s going to want to train after this. And I bet she’s going to push herself harder because of today.” Koda knew Y/n very well. Knew her like the back of his hand, well, paw.

And, Koda was right. Y/n was in gym gamma, completely exhausted. Sweat covered her body as her muscles were screaming at her take a break. Her labored breathe continued as her body was trying its best to keep up.

Y/n was frustrated. “Why? Why am I like this?” she kept repeating like a mantra.

“I want to be normal. Why can’t I be like them?”

“Why?”

“You’re a monster. It’s actually quite simple.”

Y/n threw a punch with her fist encased in water, and it wasn’t until after that punch was thrown, she realized that there was now an evident hole in the thick, solid concrete wall.

Y/n fell to her knees. Koda hurriedly made his way to her, making sure she didn’t do anything too stupid. Once Koda was close, she was doing something unexpected.

She was crying.

Hot streams, cascading down her face. She started to hiccup, her breathing erratic. “A-am I scary to you, Koda?” her voice was so small.

Koda nudged his way in between her legs and nestled his head into her neck. Y/n, full on sobbing now, wraps her arms around Koda and her cries are muffled by his fur. Wailing and self-deprecating questions can be faintly heard from her if anyone were to enter the gym.

A couple minutes passed. Y/n’a breathing returned to a calm rhythm.

“Thanks, Koda. I needed that,” Y/n sniffles, “C’mon let’s go make dinner, I’ll whip you up something special for putting up with me today.” Koda’s tail immediately began to wag at the thought of Y/n’s cooking.

Y/n was an independent person. She likes doing things on her own as much as can. She doesn’t eat the food from the school cafeteria, instead, she opts for making her and Koda’s meals from the kitchen that is provided to them in their dormitory. And indeed, she made a delicious dinner for both of them.

Now, the hard part. Because of how long her training took, showering, and making dinner, Y/n knew that her classmates were in the common space already, probably preparing to have their movie night. And, she had to pass them. It was a short distance, short walk, Y/n was trying to reassure herself. Just walk straight towards to the elevator and you’re safe.

Y/n takes a deep breathe and walks out of the kitchen. The chatter of her classmates emerges to her ears, but as she walks towards the elevator, the chatter dies down.

“Oh no.” Y/n’s eyes widened in fear. “Way to go on ruining the mood, Y/n.”

Thankfully, the elevator was quick and the doors slide open, making an easy escape for Y/n and Koda. She let out a breathe she didn’t even realize she was holding in as the doors slid shut. Y/n looks at Koda, who was already looking at her, “It’s better this way, anyway” Y/n didn’t know if she was telling Koda that, or herself.

On the other side of the elevator’s doors, her classmates collectively let out a sigh, “Well that was another chance we wasted.” Kaminari was the first to break the awkward silence.

“Tch. Like any of you have the guts to actually ask her.” Bakugo chimed in.

“Oh please, Bakugo, I know she intimidates you, too.” Mina fired back.

“Whatever.”

“She heard you guys.” Todoroki suddenly talked. Everyone casted their attention to him, “Earlier today, I mean. She heard you guys when you were talking about inviting her to movie night.”

The once light-hearted atmosphere in the room was now tilted with guilt.

“She heard all that?” Midoryia incredulously asked, only imagining what you would be feeling because of their words.

“She must feel terrible.” Ochaco openly voiced her thoughts.

“She probably hates us.” Kirishima adds in.

“She means well, I promise. I think we just need to give her a chance.” Todoroki tries to reason with his classmates.

“First, we need to apologize.” Midoryia proposes as he looks among his classmates. His classmates collectively nod their heads in agreement

“You’re right. Well, good luck Midoryia.” Kaminari pats his back as encouragement. Everyone else either gives an encouraging smile or a thumbs up.

“Ha?! What?! You guys already decided that I’m going to be the one to apologize?” Izuku was flailing his arm around and was checking everyone else’s reaction.

“Well, yes. It’s your idea and you are one of the most apologetic people here.” Iida explained to an overthinking Midoryia.

After regaining composure, he realized that this was probably the best option, “Okay, I’ll, I’ll go now.”

Midoryia makes his way to Y/n’s dorm room. He was nervous. He only had very limited interactions with Y/n. So, he really didn’t know what to expect. Before he knew it, he was before your door.

On the other side, Y/n was chowing down on her food. She took a swig of her water, “So, how’s the food? I tried a new technique on roasting the veggies.” Y/n babbled on for a bit, but she realized that Koda’s plate was hardly touched. Her gaze landed on Koda who was sitting on her bed with a very obvious frown, staring at the door. Y/n immediately knew why.

“Hey, if you wanna go hangout with them, I can push the buttons on the elevator for you-”

Koda was irritated at how difficult Y/n was being, she can just ask them if she can join. It was simple. Koda used his mouth to latch on to Y/n’s sleeve and started to drag her to her dorm’s door.

“H-hey Koda! Not cool, man! You know, I can’t go down there.” Y/n tugs her sleeve away from Koda.

Koda turned to his last resort. He did his signature pout.

“Oh, please. You know that stopped working on me awhile ago. Besides, we can have our own movie night, right?” Y/n tried to reason, but her reasoning just felt sad.

Before Y/n could step away from her dorm’s door, she heard a knock. The two quickly tuned their heads at the door as if something miraculous just happened.

Y/n took one step toward the door.

“It’s Midoryia.” Koda began to wag his tail, “don’t get your hopes up too quickly.”

Y/n opened the door only a slit for her head to poke out, “Oh, hi Midoryia. Is something wrong?” she asks.

“U-um, no nothings wrong.” he responds as nerves start to take over and he doesn’t continue on.

“Okay.” With that, Y/n closed her door. Koda wanted to scratch his eyes out. This was her chance! For someone who was the top student in her class, she was so stupid. “He didn’t want anything. Sorry to disappoint, Koda-” another knock interrupted her.

She looked at the door, “It’s still Midoryia.” Koda rolled his eyes.

Y/n went to to open the door, again, only opening a bit, “Yes, Midoryia? You sure something isn’t wrong?”

“Uh, well I was wondering if we can talk for a bit.”

“Oh, yeah sure.” Y/n stepped out of her door, and shutting it.

However, Koda was right on her trail, but was shut out by the now closed door. He pouts at the door. And how holds his ear to the door, interested in the conversation that has yet to come.

“So, what’s up?” Y/n asked the green-haired boy.

“I, we, as a class, wanted to apologize for our words today.” Midoryia spoke in a remorseful and quiet tone.

Y/n was taken back. “So, they know that I heard what they were saying? Must have been Todoroki’s doing.”

“Look, it’s fine. I know I’m intimidating-“

“But it’s not fine. We shouldn’t have treated or talked about you that way.”

Y/n was stunned at his words. He took that as a sign to continue, “and we were hoping, if you’d be okay if we start over and become friends.”

Y/n remained cautious with her walls, “You know, friendship isn’t really a perquisite for this course.”

“Of course, I know that. We all do, but it doesn’t hurt to have them, right?”

Y/n felt like tearing up. She wanted to believe him. She wanted to put her trust in that last statement of his.

“I’ll be be down in 5 minutes,” Y/n stated rather blandly, but it didn’t matter to Midoryia.

“Great! See ya!” He waved and started to head back to the elevator, before he pressed the button, Y/n called him once more,

“Midoryia?”

“Yeah?”

“Thank you.”

“No problem.” and nods his head. He couldn’t be more thrilled that this will all work out.

As for Y/n, she opened her door to her dorm, and closing it as she stepped inside.

As soon as she was in the comfort of her own room, she broke into her happy dance. Her fists clenched, eyes shut, shoulders scrunched, jumping in the air, squeals make their way pass her lips, with the biggest smile on her face

Koda felt a wave of relief of wash over him. He was glad that she was finally experiencing acceptance.

After the moment passes, Y/n sighs and looks at Koda, ruffling his fur on the top of his head.

“Well, shall we?” Y/n said in an extravagant manner as she opened her door and bowed.

Koda, playing along, held his head high and strutted out. Y/n let out a light-hearted laugh and they made their way down, together.

Once Y/n actually made it to the common room, all of her classmates were looking at her, stopping their conversations as well. The confidence that Y/n help was long gone, feeling now awkward yet again.

However, the silence didn’t last too long as the class enveloped her in boisterous apologies, hugs, and pats on the back.

To say Y/n was overwhelmed was understatement. She had never been around these many people, giving attention towards her. It was new territory she had yet to cross.

“Guys, you should probably let her breathe.”

That was Todoroki. Y/n pried her eyes away from Mina who was asking what conditioner she uses, and looked at Shoto. Y/n mouthed a “thank you” and he simply nodded.

The class went back to their seats, muttering apologies again for getting in her personal space.

Now, Y/n faced yet another problem:

Where is she going to sit?!

She kept standing where she stood for a good couple seconds, scanning the area for any good spots.

However, there was actually only one spot open. And, it just happen to be next to Todoroki.

Y/n mentally prepared herself and started her path towards him. Of course, Shoto knew this. He was the one who made sure he saved a seat right next to him just for this occasion.

But things don’t always go according to plan, right?

Rightly so, right before Y/n could take the unaccompanied seat, Denki was coming back from the kitchen with a bowl of popcorn, plopping right down on the seat.

“Oh, hey Y/n! I’m glad you made it! You want some popcorn?”

“No, I’m good, thanks though.” Y/n was able to play it off as she chose to sit on the floor in front of the couch, which coincidentally was in front of the seat that Shoto resided.

Shoto was irritated. He wanted you to sit next to him. For crying out loud, that was the whole reason he had this seat open in the first place. All he does is sigh, catching Y/n’s attention.

Y/n turns back to Todoroki, sending a small smile his way, but then turning back to the screen as her fellow classmates were arguing on what to watch.

Y/n put her hand to her chest. This is weird. Why is her heart rate so high? She’s not usually like this. Maybe Todoroki did cast a spell on her.

Y/n couldn’t think about it too much as the movie began playing.

#bnha shoto #todoroki shoto #shoto todoroki x reader #midoriya izuku #mha x you #mha x reader #shoto todoroki x y/n #mha angst #bnha imagines

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transsexualhamlet · 3 years

Text

sherlock holmes reactions part 4 (?) ive lost count already but unsurprisingly ive grown even more attached to him

using this as the cover image because i made him a playlist. cause im awful

no legit this is gonna need a read more because it's SO LONG SHIHEWIESHEFSHIEWHF

Had three mental breakdowns this week and realized i do in fact kin sherlock motherfucking holmes. this does not bode well for anything in my life mentally I've diagnosed him with so many things

Oh boy lol you want the list I think hes autistic (undisputed honestly) plus also adhd but on top of that there's the manic depression and uhhh the bpd lmao I dont even think that's it those are just. the obvious ones

But yeah man's a fucking mess and a shit person but in the same way as me so 👍

Some highlights I thought were very funny:

watson: we are in fact going to be waltzing into a place where people are Shooting People you do not have your gun. this is a problem

sherlock: don't worry watson I have my trusty stick!

watson: visible pain

This clearly happens like every day or so with them

but yeah there were some really honestly sweet scenes with them at the apartment and why am i getting soft over the crusty man being gay

have you considered tho. have you considered them

have you considered sherlock, who usually only plays absolute garbage on his violin serenading watson to sleep when he was tired and in pain and watson being so fucking in love with the man and waxing poetic about falling asleep to his music and waking up to see him fallen asleep on the couch next to him and oh my god them

They're just really sweet together for such a completely dysfunctional couple so much of the time lol I just. Sherlock being like.

Sherlock half of the time: watson you're fucking stupid. no i won't take care of my personal needs stfu. watson get a goddamn life. watson shut up. watson no one cares about your goddamn opinion. no i need to disturb you in the middle of the night it's for science. hey watson mind if i manipulate mansplain malewife

Sherlock the other half of the time: HELLO SIR YOU ARE MY FAVORITE MAN TO EVER MAN HELLO MAY I SPEND THE REST OF MY DAYS WITH YOU HELLO I WILL DO ANYTHING FOR YOU WE ARE PERFECT MATCHES I LOVE YOU AND I NEED YOU YOURE SO MUCH BETTER THAN ME PLEASE MARRY ME

They're... they certainly are.

ALSO OH MY GOD.

THIS ONE TIME WHEN SHERLOCK WAS JUST PACING AROUND THE ROOM AT 3 AM GOING "IT DOESNT MAKE SENSE >:(((" AND HUDSON LIKE BARGED IN TO COMPLAIN AND THEN WATSON WAS LIKE DUDE YOU GOTTA STOP DOING THIS AND PROCEEDS TO SAY THE LINE "YOU ARE KNOCKING YOURSELF UP, OLD MAN"

BAHGHSFHGRHEWHEWHIFEW

BRB SOBBING

CALLING HIM AN OLD MAN???? KNOCKING HIMSELF UP?? I DONT KNOW WHATS FUNNIER

The main highlight of this part was I have now gotten to see him have a great time watching his homo homie get married

Its so fucking funny.......

I was prepared for a funny reaction by yuumori sherlock's face when he said it lol but. Damn i was really not prepared tbh

watson: I'm engaged!

sherlock: *pained groaning*

watson: do you... not like her?

sherlock: no she's fine she's great you'll be wonderful together bUT I HATE IT WHEN PEOPLE ARE HETEROSEXUAL WATSON DO I HAVE TO MARRY MYSELF THEN WATSON? ARE YOU GOING TO MAKE ME MARRY MYSELF.

watson: yeah... yeah... fair, I feel really bad because you did this whole case and I got a girlfriend out of it and all you got was me leaving you alone fuck man im sorry what are you gonna do without me

sherlock, highly sarcastic: dont worry watson I've always got my handy cocaine! *pulls it out and gets high in front of watson just as he's about to leave*

watson: *in fucking agony*

sherlock: good for you!

I DONT EVEN- THIS SCENE KILLED ME MULTIPLE TIMES OVER WHAT

ITS SO GODDAMN NONCHELANT ABOUT IT SHERLOCK IS JUST LIKE YEAH I WILL IN FACT NOT BE MENTALLY HEALTHY IF YOU ARE NOT WITH ME 24/7 BUT WHATEVER YOU DO YOU /S

I'd like to apologize to watson on sherlock's behalf lmao. man is being a bit too codependent on main

The last thing about sign of four I do need to address is yeah, there's the Horrific Amounts Of Racism in that one and the whiplash hearing it is just ridiculous because they seem to be so knowledgeable in all other areas and fairly... politically correct, taking sherlock's original misogyny as a purposeful character flaw, but then they just mention someone indigenous once and suddenly its all parrotting racist propaganda and just... really awful shit. There's no way I'm gonna speak for the group that just got absolutely hate crimed here but anyone can tell the author just has no clue what he's fucking talking about and it's physically painful.

And I don't know, it's just so bad it seems out of character? Doyle's making these motherfuckers say shit that honestly, Sherlock would know better about. And especially Watson. Come on, you cannot tell me watson is mentally capable of being prejudiced against someone. Please do not make him that way.

I'm not sure how to handle it specifically, or what's the proper way I should handle something like that in a media I otherwise like. Is it ok to say Doyle was clearly a piece of shit on the matter and separate those characters from his bias or is that insensitive?

I don't know, I was Not a fan of it and I'm glad to see they've at least finally shut up about the guy

But anyway yeah, uhhhh onto the short stories because I'm trying to read those before I get to the final problem

Scandal in Bohemia was a fucking ride, first of all, before we even get to Sherlock's girlboss arc we have to discuss how gay the whole situation was and how Doyle's attempt at making them less gay failed spectacularly

Like he's all "ah yes I need to marry off watson and uhhh make sherlock ummmm interact with a woman so they dont look gay" but he does it SO BADLY that it makes them look EVEN GAYER

cause i mean, even the conversation they had about watson getting married back in sign of four was gay af, but how Doyle handled things afterward was in no way straighter.

Cause you know, the man kind of wrote himself into a corner with the fact of Watson narrating these stories. So Watson has to be around to witness them, and to witness Sherlock's own thought process rather privately, so he has to be around sherlock at night, a lot. But trying to come up with a reason for that happening just... it didn't occur to Doyle. He just went. Ah yes this makes sense. And it's Watson just like Sleeping Over At Sherlock's like every other goddamn day and every time his wife leaves town and having them basically still live that cute domestic home life but they have absolutely no excuses for doing it anymore. It's quite funny

Like it was gay already the way they interacted when they officially lived together but it was like, a necessity for them. Now it's not, Watson just comes over because he goddamn wants to, and it's hilarious to me.

LIKE IDK I THINK THEY KIND OF BROKE UP FOR A YEAR OR SO BC OF WATSON GETTING MARRIED AND THEY LIKE DONT HAVE CONTACT WITH ONE ANOTHER BUT ONE DAY WATSON JUST INEXPLICABLY HAS THE URGE TO COME VISIT SHERLOCK ON NO NOTICE AND THEN SUDDENLY THEY ARE TOGETHER NEAR 24/7 AGAIN LIKE BARELY ANYTHING CHANGED AHIEHOEWH

SIT DOWN AND TRY TO TELL ME THOSE ARE NOT HOMOSEXUALS

Watson walks in on no fucking notice after a full year and Sherlock is just. In the middle of some experiment obviously but hes like

Sherlock, carrying around unidenfiable chemical mixtures: W A T S O N you look good you look good! i see you've gained seven pounds!!

watson: uh. thanks??? Hey lol *awkwardly waves* Uh um Wanted to Uhm sEe you

Sherlock: ABOUT gODDAMN TIME AND YES WONDERFUL LOOK LOOK SIT DOWN I HAVE THINGS TO INFODUMP ABOUT

watson: :) ok :) *turns to camera* and we were back to the old days

sherlock: makes a deduction

watson: wowwwwwwwwwwww !! so true bestie !!

sherlock: !!!!!!!!! :))) !!!!! :))) uh fuck im supposed to be smooth Its Elementary Lol

watson: *turns to camera* when i stroke his ego like this and compliment him he blushes like a girl like i just complimented his dress so i do it more because he likes it. this is a homie trait

watson: well i should probably get going! my wife will notice that i am gone my dear buddy bro homie!

sherlock: NO DONT LEAVE IM LOST WITHOUT YOU (pretty much a direct quote lol) your. wife doesn't. get back home until monday. I know this because I am smart and definitely have not been stalking you.

watson: alright :)))))

AND THEN HE FUCKING SLEEPS OVER LMAO FUCKING HOMOS

So yeah they're right back where they were before pretty much and there's a case bc of course there is

And honestly I think this short story specifically was so insane mostly just because of how absolutely fast it all went. Yuumori kind of made me believe the original Irene Adler was more of an important character than she really is? And I think that's. Honestly so funny. Motherfucker shows up for ten pages, girlbosses her way around town, and changes sherlock's entire opinion of the female gender while still keeping him gay?

LIKE NO LOL SHES NOT IN ANY WAY A LOVE INTEREST AND WATSON GOES OUT OF HIS WAY TO SPECIFY THE FACT THAT IN NO WORLD WOULD THEY HAVE BEEN ROMANTICALLY INVOLVED BECAUSE. SHERLOCK. DIDN'T DATE WOMEN.

HE WAS JUST??? SO IMPRESSED AND SHELL SHOCKED BY HER EXISTENCE HE DECIDED IT WAS TIME FOR GIRLBOSS APPRECIATION DAY TODAY AND ALL DAYS HENCEFORTH???

AND THEY HAVE LIKE O N E INTERACTION?? God, the power this woman(?) has. Watson looks at her once like. damb shawty 😳 and she's like "no<3" and he's like FUCK

Like yeah it's pretty much just the king walking up like "help girl the whore is blackmailing me" and sherlock being like "ok lol this will be easy" and then it proceeded to not in fact be easy or even possible

sherlock like... posed as a dead body and tried to get her to give up the location of the photo but she out-acted him and skipped the town the next day after doing the 'good night mr. sherlock holmes' thing with sherlock completely tricked

and she just. sends a letter like "dear sherlock holmes. you're a fucking idiot and i think it's funny that you lost. nice job tho mad respect" and sherlock just SHORT CIRCUITS

the king comes back a bit later like "hey Dude where's my Photo" and sherlock's like oh yeah uhhhhhhhhhhh about that and the king is like HOW COULD IT POSSIBLY HAVE BEEN THAT GODDAMN HARD i would have dated someone more noble if she wasn't so pretty i swear im on a whole different level from her

and then. GIRLBOSSIFIED SHERLOCK HOLMES RESPONDS "from what I have seen of the lady, she seems indeed to be on a very different level from your majesty" ABSEHHESHEFHHFES ROASTED

and the dude just LEAVES

After that I read a few more of the short stories and well the highlights I got from that pretty much were these conversations

Watson: sherlock. honey. have you. eaten anything today

Sherlock: IT DIDNT OCCUR TO ME DEAR WATSON

Watson: ITS FIVE PM

and:

Sherlock: *having one of his Moment Moments at three in the goddamn mornig* GRRRR CRIME ISNT WHAT IT USED TO BE

Watson: MY DEAR SHERCOCK WHAT IS CRIME S U P P O S E D TO BE LIKE ACCORDING TO YOU

Sherlock: no one's original anymore fucking copycats

Watson: so you want the criminals to make things harder for you specifically.

Sherlock, exasperated: yes!

I love them your honor.

#rowan's hyperfixation essays #rowan screams into the void #rowan views moriarty #sherlock holmes

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lisakuroo · 3 years

Note

Headcannon of when Suga, Kuroo and Iwaizumi find out that their always happy, and popular female S/O is actually a pretty insecure and sad individual because of bullying that she never talked about from middle school. How they would handle it? Lol does this make sense? Love your writing!

Thanks honey! Hope its not too short!c:

Suga

Feels bad, because he didn't notice at first. Keeps telling you how much he loves you and that you have nothing to be insecure about

Also gets a teeny bit mad, cause who did that to you? Who made your cry??

Totally a cutie pie. Spa day? Hell yes! He's gonna spoil his little one you can be sure about that! Chocolate, bubble baths, hot tea, flowers!

Does anything to show you how happy he is with you, how lucky he is for having such a beautiful, loving and endearing person like you as their significant other

Kuroo

Totally oblivious, only realizing it when you're having a breakdown in front of him.

Still super shocked, I mean, how could you be insecure?? How is that possible?? Only solution for him: showering you with even more love. Obviously

Would do everything to make you feel more comfortable in your skin. Takes you out for shopping, to buy you something cute to wear. Will help you do your hair, will try his hardest, its honestly the cutest thing.

Would also have a honest talk with you, on how you're feeling about your past, and also how your past is your past, while it may be hurting you, it's also something you can leave behind you.

Iwaizumi

Would definitely be the most calm and organized about it, especially when it comes to your feelings

Will talk things with you out with you, a very good listener. Will grab a Cup of tea, also a piece of cake for the both of you and he will just let you ramble all you have to.

Very good at giving advice, makes you feel really comfortable and, more importantly, understood.

“You know you’re my little Flower right? You want to know how nervous I when I saw you for the very first time? You wanna know how much ‘talking me into’ Oikawa had to do for me to ask you out? Love, you swept me off my feet instantly, I literally have never met such a beautiful person like you.

#kuro tetsuro #kuroo tesurou #haikyuu!!#haikyuu #haikyū!!#hq #haikyuu!! imagine #haikyuu headcanons #kōshi sugawara #sugawara koushi #iwaizumi hajime

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yue-muffin · 3 years

Text

well, cherry magic was absolutely devastating and yet another example of why i love jdramas: when they set out to do so, they are full of so much heart and understanding of what it means to be human. i have had so many emotional rollercoasters over the years, but the angst is not usually angst for its own sake; there’s a purpose: to paint a tragedy and make you think ah, if only..., or testing the bonds of friends and family to show that what makes us human can just as easily tear us apart as be the cause for us to overcome obstacles in life.

i usually don’t like romances. i avoid them. which is also why i like jdramas. romance-centric ones are clearly marked and indicated in the summary, if a romance appears in a non romantic drama, it doesn’t often take anything away from the plot or characters. in fact, aside from old bl movies, i’ve never watched a single romance jdrama, no matter how highly recommended.

this got LONG so.

two things: 1) im really glad i gave cherry magic a chance. 2) my mind was blown by how far the japanese romance genre has come in terms of depicting same sex relationships. all you have to do is look to the old bl movies i used to watch- even if the characters are respected within their medium, they all end in tragedy.

so, cherry magic along with several other jdramas coming out or that have come out recently, really impressed me. i stepped away from the jdrama world for a while, and im glad that i slipped back in.

so about the whole drama since ive really been talking about the overall genre - it’s so damn good and relatable, to a painful degree. to me, particularly, who has lived a privileged life and moves through the world without too much fuss, it’s that self-sabotage of adachi’s that really hit me hard. you’re your own worst enemy sometimes. and, indeed, his anxiety is also really relatable. how many times do i always think the worst of my performance, when the grades, the instructors’ assessments, my friends and family, all say i didn’t do as bad as i think in my head? or thinking whatever you do, it’s never going to be enough to match so-and-so’s expectations, and if you fail their expectations you fail them and yourself. man, that spiral of his thoughts in the last two episodes was painful but the resolution of which was so cathartic.

(also, i guess i just have to own up to the fact that i do have some sort of anxiety. i never really talk about myself to others, and to my family who i do, they don’t believe anxiety is even a thing beyond a funny feeling in your gut which is like “wow, really”, but a thing i’ve learned to ignore, except this ongoing pandemic situation has really made it rear its ugly head, which i can normally keep in check ok)

but the drama as a whole...it’s so realistic, and positive. it’s a perfect balance. it handles the “typical” bl tropes well, giving a bit of its original manga flair but taking it to a realistic level. like all the classic kabedons! the mind reading bit is actually really helpful here to break those tropes apart a bit by being able to know kurosawa’s thoughts even tho on the outside he’s mostly as suave as ever

and another thing! it’s so...life-affirming. that it’s ok to not know where you’re going even at age 30, to set little goals for yourself, to pursue happiness in your relationships. the way society is these days, there’s so much pressure to be the best and succeed - even to the point, it’s not just good to be happy with what you’re doing, you must be successful by society’s standard (the minato storyline particularly addressed this)

and i, at least, really need that reminder. i love the career im working towards now, but when i was only 21, i was just about having a breakdown every other week bc i was coming to the end of my undergrad studies and didn’t know where i wanted to go next. it felt like ‘if i don’t make the right choice in these 3 months, it’ll ruin the rest of my life or i’ll just never be happy’. that’s so crazy, thinking back.

and another thing: the characters are all so different, but i found a bit of myself in each of them nonetheless. unlike fujisaki, i do want to be in a relationship someday, but i don’t want one now and i would greatly appreciate people in my life to stop pressuring me into one with their well-intentioned comments. i thought at first that kurosawa wasn’t going to be super deep, just a really nice guy in love, but actually his mask of perfection and need to meet others’ expectations as his self-perceived redeeming qualities really hit hard. and adachi, who is like my spirit animal, his anxiety and worries over whether he’s worth a love that seems so good and perfect, running away rather than face the possibility of getting hurt from that interaction. even rokkaku, who acted all energetic and excited at the drinking party but really just wanted to get the heck out of there

the actors were all just. so good. i mentioned this last time, but they got the perfect balance of comedy moments + realistic reactions/nuanced acting that isn’t exaggerated, for the non-comedy moments. they all did a stellar job of selling this drama!

so, the bad thing is that this has set the bar high on modern romance dramas for me, and considering i don’t give them much of a chance in the first place, lol.

#the muffin's drama watching adventures #cherry magic

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hollyand-writes · 3 years

Note

Just wanted to say that I saw your post about Blond Boy Romance discourse and wanted to thank you for such a succinct write-up about Anders. I got into the fandom in late 2019 and i was SO confused about this huge gap in art and fic. Like, dead links and missing blogs and deleted posts. And I couldn’t figure out what happened because no one was talking about it, and I’m very shy after a mess in my last fandom. So...yeah. Thank you for writing that up, it’s nice to finally know what happened even though it’s really depressing. Also, thanks for staying in this fandom. You’re a wonderful example to others and an amazing creator.

Hello wanderingnork, and a very belated welcome to the fandom! 🙌🏾 Well. Welcome to what’s left of the fandom anyway LOL ❤️

Thanks so much for reaching out and sending me this really kind ask message (the post being referred to is my addition/reblog here) but yeah, I guess for those who weren’t in Dragon Age 2 fandom or the Anders side of fandom between December 2017—July 2018 you wouldn’t have seen how horrifying the bullying got. I’ve seen at least 3 people who aren’t friends with me reblog my post saying that what I described was why they themselves quit DA fandom or the Anders side of fandom too.

And those are the Anders fans who DIDN’T delete their Tumblr blogs. Obviously the ones who DID delete and/or quit aren’t here to confirm that they, too, quit over that Anders wank in 2018.

The worst of it was that the wank was started entirely by a group of Anders fans who – to my knowledge – still see themselves as the real victims to this day, even though they only stopped their callout posts and bullying (both in public and behind the scenes in private) when they learned that the Anders fanartist they were bullying was considering taking legal action. (You KNOW things are bad when fandom wank gets so bad that it becomes actual harassment that breaks the law.) And like I said, they posted some pretty shitty things about those of us who were friends with this artist too, causing many of us to block them.

They backtracked like fuck in July 2018, but after seven months (maybe more?) of constantly bullying this one popular Anders fanartist (who’d repeatedly apologised, deleted the NSFW sideblog AND the offending art, and posted how the whole thing had driven that artist to a breakdown and suicidal thoughts), maybe it should never have got that far?

I don’t know how active they are in DA fandom now – but I DO know one of them notoriously posted that us blocking them was “bullying”, and that “bullying is child abuse” for “children” like themselves... despite the fact that they admitted they were 23 and therefore were very much not a fucking minor or child. (They had a lot to say about how WE should have been responsible for their “online safety” as well, and that Anders was their “comfort character” whom they only wanted to see sweet fluff content for, and they regularly triggered themselves by searching out Anders content that was less than fluffy or sweet to complain about on their blog. Not to mention how many of us queer POC Anders creators in our 20s and 30s – including the Anders artist they bullied – were accused of being “white” and “boomer-passing” for defending Anders content they didn’t like LMAO)

I’m so sorry to hear about the huge gap in art and fic you experienced on coming in to Tumblr Dragon Age fandom, but given how many creators took one look at the bullying and thought “fuck this, I’m leaving” and either deleted their blogs or Anders posts/fic/art/meta or simply left for kink-friendlier fandoms, I am honestly not surprised to hear this. I am also sorry to hear that there was a mess in your last fandom too; and I hope that this fandom is better to you.

Dragon Age fandom is a difficult fandom to be in, but trust me when I say there are lots of good people in it. They’re just harder to find, and often they’re not as prominent or in-your-face as the nastier types. But I know they’re there because I’ve found them, and I treasure them, and I’ve been here since 2014.

I think really all we can do is block the haters as much as possible, and carry on creating whatever the fuck we like – and tagging appropriately. I learned my lesson from that wank in 2018: if someone(s) is really determined to destroy you and just wants you gone, there is no apology or deletion you can give that will be good enough. Besides, there are so many problematic themes and content in Dragon Age canon that I don’t think it’s reasonable to ask creators to completely shy away from exploring those if they want to, or from making OCs that mirror a canon character’s traumatic background, or from writing/drawing canon characters as anything less than healthy and wholesome and pure (which NONE of them are in canon, anyway) – especially if it’s tagged and warned for.

I mean... we all paid Bioware to purchase and play this 18+ game with its uncomfortable, difficult and sometimes problematic themes and content. I feel that if the Dragon Age franchise was so terrible and traumatic and problematic for someone when playing, then I do question why they joined the fandom afterwards. And I don’t think the onus should fall solely on fandom creators – who are doing this for free, unpaid, in our spare times – to create perfect, unproblematic, wholesome content that just wasn’t in the games themselves. Different people have different definitions of what is “perfect”, “unproblematic” or “wholesome” anyway.

(On that last point: look at how the people behind The Mess callout tried to accuse people of being racist for romancing Cullen with pale-skinned Lavellans; back in 2016/2017 you got accused of being racist for romancing Cullen with darker-skinned Lavellans. How times have changed 🤔 There’s a LOT of content in this fandom that I don’t like, or that squicks/repulses me, but as long as it’s tagged in a way that I can avoid it, I’m not gonna police what people create. And if there’s one thing I’ve noticed the Dragon Age fandom IS very good about doing, it’s that most people are careful about handling problematic topics and content in a sensitive way. So that’s not a thing I worry about.)

Anyway. I’m rambling. But yeah, that recap of 2018 (which several people have confirmed is true now) sums up why there is such a huge gap in Anders fanart and fic, and is why very few people create Anders content anymore – I know I myself abandoned a Garrett Hawke/Anders longfic in 2018 because I didn’t want to create for Handers fans if the only ones around were bullies who believed they were victims. But it’s been well over 2 years now, so.... I might get back to writing that fic. The Gym AU is still very much alive in my brain 👀

So! That’s what happened... but despite everything I want to emphasise that there IS much good in this fandom, even if it’s harder to find among all the shit there is 💩 and that I hope your stay here is a good one. Thank you so much for saying you think I’m a wonderful example to others and an amazing creator, though! ❤️ I don’t know how many people will agree, but I do try!

But yeah, if there’s one thing I’ve learned from being here since 2014 – and from surviving several attempts to run me out of fandom (including for having an elf/human OTP) and off this platform – it’s this: The people change, and the characters and subjects being wanked over change, but fandom wank itself never ever changes.

#wanderingnork #replies #also #tagging this as #anders #fandom wank #fandom critical #long post

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salamipope · 3 years

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Thoughts i have about me and my trans:

- i have vague memories of packing with socks as a kid at night only because during day people (my mom) would very clearly see, for some reason i thought that made me a lesbian

- when i turned 13 i was destroyed by depression that forced me to eject from reality and form addictions to the internet, a lot of which was caused by some pretty terrible neglect but im also realizing lately that in terms of my trans timeline, i had been trying to be feminine in my own way and it just didnt seem to interlock well. Everything in my life was mechanical except me liking girls. I learned about STPs then and my mind was blown. Couldnt resist looking them up at midnight til i turned about 14.

- Now that im almost a decade older than then im handling my situation well and i have the ability to look back and recognize the different kinds of depression i was experiencing. One that has been new and aggressive is depression from dysphoria specifically. It felt strangely familiar. Realized about a week ago i dont have it as much ever since i started to change my presentation and that helped me figure out that i was experiencing it when i was 13 too and just couldnt recognize it. Its a lot more noticeable when you arent in it all the time and suddenly get punched in the eye with dysphoria depression

- sat the opposite way on the toilet why????? To be a boy. I did that to be a boy.

- Slowly remembering a very very early memory where my brother had a friend over who we regularly played with and he didnt want to play with me. i couldnt handle the rejection cuz i was like 4. I asked why we couldnt play and he told me it was because i was a girl and the games they played i wouldnt like. I remember saying it wasnt true and i was clearly a boy.

- Ive been out as GNC since i was about 11

- dysphoria is so tiring and being trans is so tiring and i am so tired lol. But im not crying in my room and laying in my bed outside of work all the time. I havent had a mental breakdown in months and I dont think I will again like I used to.

- After cutting my hair i felt a substantial change in that my mind could shut the fuck up finally. So much less clutter up there. Every time i do something gender affirming I am met with a beautiful silence and the only real noise is the worry im faking it because being trans, for me, was not at all obvious. I wish people would talk more about their struggle with realizing it but i understand why the confidence is so vital

and finally:

- just about every time i thought i was intoa a guy it was fucking gender envy!!!! i didnt even know that was a thing until like 2 months ago man. What the hell. 2 very different kinds of butterflies.

#Trans #Dysphoria #Talking about dysphoria #FTM #Mental health #Thoughts #Transgender #FTM transgender #Transgender FTM

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gusu-emilu · 3 years

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seven nights to turn: author's meta

Symbolism & Parallels

Time to be self-indulgent. Am I significant enough to be posting about my own fic lore? Probably not, but here I am. Blame @eldritch-elrics and @qi-ling for telling me I was allowed to do this.

I also want to journal for myself about this story before I forget my thoughts months later. A little fic diary, if you will.

I'm going to talk about the meanings of:

counting nights and days

pruning plants

branding and insignia

kneeling

Counting Nights and Days

Jiang Cheng's state of mind in Chapter 1 is very different from Chapter 4. In the beginning of the story, he is bitter and restless. His memories haunt him. He counts time by nights—has for years—because the nights are harder to make it through.

By the end of the story, he is openly grateful in his narration for Wei Wuxian and Jin Ling's safety, and he has gone from calling himself selfish to giving to Wen Ning out of something more than just guilt. The shift from counting nights to counting days reflects this.

I also played with this concept in the titles and section headers. As a refresher, the chapter titles are 1) from first to fifth night, 2) from sixth to seventh night, 3) turn, 4) from first to fifth day. And of course, the story is called Seven Nights to Turn.

Jiang Cheng "turns" in multiple ways. The surface level turn is from counting nights to days. The emotional turn is how his perception of Wen Ning changes. The physical turn involves kneeling...and I'll talk about that soon.

Wen Ning also has a turn of his own, as he realizes that he isn't as repulsive as he thinks, that he isn't as responsible for the past as he thinks, that Jiang Cheng didn't give him the talismans and tea for the reason he thinks. That he is allowed to express negative emotions once in a while. He can have some catharsis by confessing things to Jiang Cheng that he feels like he can't say to Wei Wuxian or Lan Sizhui. And at the very end of the story, he "turns" to travel to Tanzhou and meet Song Lan, starting a new direction in his life as he can begin to heal and grow on his own. Before coming back to Lotus Pier, of course *wink wink*

Now for the section headers. If you didn't translate them while reading, I'll do that now. Until the "turn," the nights are marked 第一晚 (First Night), 第二晚 (Second Night), etc., and the days are marked 白天 (Daytime). Wen Ning's POV in Chapter 2, aka his breakdown, is marked 未知 (Unknown), because the reader can decide for themselves when that scene happens. It also represents that Wen Ning feels lost in that moment. After the "turn," the night is marked 晚上 (Nighttime), and the days are marked 第一天 (First Day), 第二天 (Second Day), etc. So, the shift from counting nights to days happens on several levels.

Pruning Plants

In Chapter 3, after Jiang Cheng and Wen Ning reach some form of peace, if not a full reconciliation, they sit at the tea table in Wen Ning's cabin, talking about their families or sitting in silence. Wen Ning brings over one of his plants to prune while they sit together.

Snipping away the leaves represents how, throughout the entire story, they bring up moments from the past and find a way to release them. Before they were able to reconcile enough to sit at Wen Ning's tea table (without Jiang Cheng wanting to flip it over), they had to go through explosive confrontations about the past. But finally, some of those grievances are addressed. They can trim away those leaves, and new shoots can grow, because at last they are talking without animosity and beginning to bond.

Trimming away a few leaves doesn't change the plant. Its base is still the same. They can't change or fix anything, but they can make what they have a little less messy.

Actually, I was originally going to have Wen Ning show Jiang Cheng how to prune the plant, and they would trim it together. Now I'm regretting not doing that lol.

Branding and Insignia

I'm just going to pull quotes for this one to show everything in one place. Half of these ideas came from my beta @lady-of-the-lotus.

He wonders if Wen Ning is trying to leave a mark of his own, to carve another scar, to sear a brand of the lost Wen Clan into his skin. (Chapter One)

Jiang Cheng thinks about receiving another permanent mark of the Wen Clan during the hate sex...

A pendant in the window casts a sun-shaped shadow on his face; a faint circle, spoked and distorted. He doesn’t look in the mirror again after that. (Chapter Two)

And the morning after, there's the mark of the Wen Clan, if only in his imagination. Yet another thing to haunt him.

Wen Ning saw. Saw the guqin brush, with its red handle, its black rim and golden tassel. The exact colors of the Wen insignia. (Chapter Two)

But by the end of that chapter, Jiang Cheng begins to empathize with Wen Ning and come to terms with his guilt, and he consciously selects a symbol of the Wen Clan to give to Lan Sizhui as a gift.

The design on the bottom of the cup has burned the red outline of a lotus flower into his skin. (Chapter Four)

By now, Jiang Cheng understands how much Wen Ning sacrificed and suffered, and he wishes he could take away the pain. He heals the burn wound, removing the brand of the Jiang Clan from Wen Ning's skin, and later thanks Wen Ning for saving his family.

As he follows the path of the veins, he realizes how endless they are. Jiang Cheng’s own scars have a clear start. A clear finish. Where does Wen Ning’s suffering end? (Chapter Four)

Wen Ning's black marks are the brand of death.

The rest of the scar/vein symbolism is pretty clear in the story, I think, so I won't discuss it much beyond that.

Kneeling and Parallels

Here's the physical "turn." I didn't intend for this to happen while writing, but it actually has a connection to a scene in CQL.

One of the most emotional scenes in The Untamed is in Episode 36, after Wei Wuxian pulls the nails out of Wen Ning's head to restore his consciousness. Wen Ning, overcome with guilt, kneels at Wei Wuxian's feet. Then Wei Wuxian kneels.

This is a beautiful moment in their relationship. Ningxian (you can interpret that romantically or platonically) always has this...slightly uncomfortable power dynamic? as much as I love them, but in that scene Wei Wuxian physically shows how much he appreciates Wen Ning. That he is sorry. That they are both indebted to each other, but the past wasn't Wen Ning's fault, and they are equals as they kneel in front of each other.

Back to Seven Nights, where there is a lot of kneeling going on, and the meanings are a bit similar.

This story was a challenge to tell mostly from Jiang Cheng's POV, because there is so much in Wen Ning's head that I couldn't put on the page since Jiang Cheng just doesn't know what he's thinking. The reader gets to learn about Wen Ning through Jiang Cheng's eyes, and speculate about the rest of what they don't learn.

But during the hate sex scene, it's significant that Wen Ning is the one kneeling. Despite how much resentment he holds toward Jiang Cheng, he still feels guilty! (He really isn't to blame, but he feels like he is.) He killed Jin Zixuan! That caused Wei Wuxian and Jiang Yanli to die! He's a corpse, what is he doing touching someone? Expecting that Jiang Cheng would've reached out to him to make peace? Wen Ning is very confused about how he feels about Jiang Cheng, has a complicated relationship with his own humanity and self-confidence, and that leaves him kneeling even when getting revenge.

There's also the attraction element, of course, the classic trope of "enemy sexy," but we're not talking about that right now lol

The next time somebody kneels, it's Jiang Cheng. His guilt toward Wen Ning used to do nothing but torment him. Now he is taking action, physically showing the change in their relationship, kneeling at Wen Ning's feet and healing his hand. The talismans and tea in the first chapter were nice (if misguided) gestures, but he didn't kneel to present those, did he? The sentiment in the first chapter is very different from his treatment of Wen Ning in the last chapter. He understands Wen Ning much better. Admits to himself that he cares about Wen Ning as a person. He's not just caught up in the concept of "unfinished business." He's not held back by his ego.

And then we come full circle, an inverse of the hate sex in the first chapter. This time Jiang Cheng drinks the tea, kneels, and gets to work. And Wen Ning orders him to, which I find very satisfying.

But once he finishes...Wen Ning kneels, too.

They go through both versions of the power structure, and by the end they are stripped, raw, honest, kneeling in front of each other and wrapped in each other's arms. They both had to knock down barriers to get to this point, and it broke them both a little in the process, but now they can start again and move on to something more hopeful.

Just to be clear, this was not planned from the beginning. Wen Ning was never even going to go to Lotus Pier. And once I decided to add that chapter, I only decided to add sex to it a week before posting. So this just kind of happened on its own.

...And I think that's it. I wish this story was longer lol. Seven Nights was supposed to be a 6k oneshot, turned into a near-30k multichap, and I still want to write more. T.T

I might post again about planning/conception for the fic, another diary entry so I don't forget what was going on in my head months or years later when I look back at this story. Idk. Anyway, thanks for reading!

#seven nights to turn #emilu creations #emilu fics

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lecliss · 4 years

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Yeah so just finished Omniverse for a second time. Forgot everything half way through season 6 so that was all pretty much new to me. I feel, I dunno. Maybe cuz my brain does recall that I've gone through this before so I wasn't all that emotional about it. I'm usually such a crybaby when I finish shows. But I do rarely rewatch them so I guess I don't know what my usual reaction is to that.

I dunno. I think it's more that I didn't really... care? The Maltruant plot is, meh. Probably because he's an entirely new villain so for him being the 'final boss', it didn't mean much. It being surrounded by a season of content that I was about halfway disappointed by too? Made it much more meh. So it wasn't all that emotional.

However, I got super teary eyed when Ben was rapidly transforming through all his aliens and I recognized it was in the order he first transformed into them throughout the entire series. That was powerful and I was trying not to breakdown, lol. Also the universe creation scene was pretty so I felt emotional from that too, but otherwise not much else came from me aside from laughs about the funnies.

Sorry this is gonna be long and kinda ranty, but I just feel like I need to get it out. Season 8 did not feel powerful. It was the final season and they obviously knew that since they were wrapping up loose ends with Vilgax and Charmcaster. That was nice and all, but I feel like, to me at least, because I could recognize that and the episodes didn't feel so dramatic and meaningful about it, it didn't matter much. Like, 'okay time to wrap everything up and get it all in its place to end this show' and it didn't feel like anything more than that.

I also have problems with the way Rook was handled and Skurd kinda ties into that. Rook got great development and once I recgonized that I feel like he became an even better character than before. But because his relationship with Ben was now so close, it became harder to use the 'we don't get along but we have to work together anyway' type antics. Skurd was introduced to create more alien toys to sell, that I've read before and am pretty certain that's confirmed(and I also don't mind that since I understand selling toys is a big part of the franchise anyway). Ben and Skurd now have that 'we don't get along but we have to work together anyway' type relationship. And I noticed Rook seemed to talk a lot less in season 8, barring his final focus episode with Kundo and Fistina.

Therefore, Skurd became, in my eyes, a replacement for Rook, and Ben started to, sort of, bully Rook. Like, obviously in a way friends do, but also in a way that friends do when one friend is being harsh and doesn't recognize that what they're saying is actually bothering their friend. And that really bothered me. Rook became a target for Ben to bully for fun and I'm not gonna blame Ben, because I think that was just a shitty writing decision.

I also have a problem with "The Secret of Dos Santos", not only because of Ben's bullying of Rook in that episode, but because of the severe romance problem the entire show has and is shown off very noticeably in that episode. I just can't understand bickering with a guy and then you think he's gonna apologize but he doesn't but he does show you a cool helpful thing and then... you kiss him??? Even tho he didn't apologize?? I'm not cishet and I do know how to write women so, okay then. Go ahead and make no logical sense I guess.

And I'm sure all of us are bothered by the romance writing in OV(in varying ways of course), so no need to make people see the hundredth rant about it or whatever, but Imma just say a bit anyway about generalness of it.

I've never liked romance in Ben 10. I don't remember my opinion on the Benwolf episode from the original series, but I know I liked 10yo Kai at least a bit. I also liked Julie. I just, didn't think she was a great romance choice for Ben. And there's the thing. Little crushes are fine by me, but full on dating and romance getting involved in an action series bothers me. I never felt like Ben needed a girlfriend, and I'm in camp 'if he has a girlfriend, a completely normal human one isn't a good choice for a superhero'. The trope only causes unnecessary problems in my eyes. Getting kidnapped and making plans that have to be ruined when hero duty calls, those are things that happened in UAF. We didn't need that kind of stuff imo.

And I'm fine with Gwevin since they both were always involved in the hero work, but the drama annoyed me, especially that particular Charmcaster incident in UAF. Actually, thank you OV for not doing that with them this time. But, Ben 10 never needed romance. I have ships I like anyway tho, but the unnecessary-ness of it in UAF and the poor writing in OV was not needed. Also, I'm the kind of person that hates harems. Ben Tennyson, a 16yo, did not need a harem.

Otherwise, I love the show. Removing nostalgia from the original series, OV is definitely my favorite series(cue me getting shot). I love Kenny too, so it's not like I despise that Ben ended up Kai, just how it was written that they did not get along at all and even seemed to have that same bickering as adults. It just was not enjoyable.

I keep going back to that, but anyway, still, I treasure the show and everything good it did. It gave us Rook, Ester, and my favorite alien, Ball Weevil, returned many character designs to their roots of the original series, brought back Lucy, the two part season finale with the other Bens made me cry, and so did the season finale with Malware. I will forever stand by the statement of Ben talking with younger Ben and getting Feeback back being the greatest scene in the entire show.

Oh, right, and about the Rooters. Fuck Servantis. I will slaughter the man with my own bare hands and I will make it slow and painful. Anyway! The show put in effort to make these retcons related to them make sense. I'll give them that credit. But the problem lies with UAF and its decision to make Kevin an alien and all the Devin backstory stuff. The original intention in the original series was for him to be a special kind of human(basically a mutant iirc) and UAF made him an alien instead. OV wanted to go back to the orginal intention, but needed a way for that to make sense.

It was a mess, but I understand what the point of it was. Something had to be done to make it make sense and there was no way it would be a situation that didn't bother at least some people. I find 'your memories were a lie the whole time' as a form of retcon to be such a bad trope, but what else was there to do? For the decisions they made to handle it, it was perfectly fine. I just wanna torture Servantis is all because the Rooters got off way too scott free. They essentially had no punishment and I want to see the blood of child abusers spilled on the floor. Immediately.

Anyway, again. I love the show. Will always love it. I thank OV very much for all the joy it gives me and at the end of the day, it's a fucking cartoon. I love it, I hate some things in it, but I can put it down and go care about something else if I wanted to. I'm not gonna let the parts that bother me actually ruin my day or anything. Cuz again, it's a cartoon and I may not feel like it, but I do have a life. And I'm gonna spend the limited time I have in this shitty life by enjoying the things I like, which is the parts of OV that make me happy. 💚 Mainly Rook. And Ester. And the Evil Bens. And many more things, actually. Okay, I think the emotions are finally setting in. Oh god, I want it all back already!!! 😭😭😭😭

#ben 10 #ben 10 omniverse #long post #child abuse mention

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