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sevensoulmates · 1 month

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I've never been more convinced then I ever have of Buddie canon and I think we're about to get Buddie canon confirmed in the bachelor party/wedding episode.

I think these 2 episodes, 4 and 5. One told through Buck's the other told through Eddie's are clearly telling a story of two separate queer journeys. One of acceptance(Buck) and the other of repression(Eddie).

I think this episode is going to end with Eddie doubling down on his relationship with Marisol because Buck being bisexual is going to draw feelings inside of Eddie that he is absolutely terrified to explore and he thinks that being with a woman is just going to make those feelings that are getting stronger and stronger for Buck go away, they won't.

Then in episode 6 which is the Bachelor Party/Wedding episode, as Ryan said Eddie is going to let go, have fun and see where it takes him. When Ryan said that I have never been more convinced that something is happening between Buck and Eddie after the bachelor party and it's going to be something very non platonic that will be the reveal that Buddie is canon.

I'm very much inclined to agree with you, especially about episode 4 being Buck's journey of accepting his queerness, and episode 5 being about Eddie's journey of repression. Buck and Eddie have always been narrative parallels on equal and opposite journeys, both heading for the same place but going about it through very different personal arcs.

Like I've said before, I think things are going to get worse for Eddie before they get better. And I think you're so right that episode 5 is going to be things "getting worse" because he's going to double down on Marisol. The more I've been hearing and sussing out with people, it seems like Marisol's sticking around past episode 5 (which sucks, I know! We were all hoping!) but I can see why that choice is being made because unfortunately if we want to explore Eddie's comp-het, then we need a woman around for him to be comp-het with! I think that's likely why they also switched up on Marisol's personal style this season and had her go from tomboyish in s6 to very femme in s7. They needed to represent her being a little bit more of the "perfect woman" for Eddie again a la Ana Flores. Especially in contrast with Buck and Tommy who are very masc-presenting men.

Most of the time when people talk about compulsory heterosexuality in an academic space they are always talking about women because comphet is inherently a byproduct of patriarchy and misogyny. But, as most of us are aware by now, patriarchy has deep-rooted harmful effects on men too. I can't claim to be anywhere near an expert but I would love to see it explored deeper with Eddie given that a lot of his story has also revolved around him deconstructing other aspects of toxic masculinity and hypermasculinity.

Like does Eddie really enjoy going out with Marisol? Or does he like the freeing feeling of being able to cuddle up with a woman in public and know that no one is judging?

There's a lot of academic theory that goes into compulsory heterosexuality but if you look at the "Am I a Lesbian? Masterdoc" and apply everything there to Eddie, it's almost point for point him.

Some examples:

[brackets] are me turning "men" to "women" from the original text for clarity

Deciding which [women] to be attracted to – not to date, but to be attracted to –based on how well they match a mental list of attractive qualities.

I like the idea of being with a [woman], but any time a [woman] makes a move on me I get incredibly uncomfortable.

I do not like the reality of being with [women], only the idea of being with [women].

I like the idea of marrying a [woman]/being in a relationship with a [woman], but I can always pick out a reason to not want to date any [woman] that is interested in me or any [woman] suggested to me

You view relationships with [women] as a chore, burden, or just something you must deal with.

Picking a [girl] at random to be attracted to

Choosing to be attracted to a [girl] at all, not just choosing to act on it but flipping your attraction on like a switch

the [girls] I like are always hyper [feminine] [girl's girls] who embody everything about [womanliness].

Only/mostly being attracted to unattainable, disinterested, or fictional [women] or [girls] you never or rarely interact with.

Reading your anxiety/discomfort/nervousness/combativeness around [women] as attraction to them. Confusing your anxiety around [women] for “butterflies” or being flustered.

Dreading what feels like an inevitable domestic future with a [woman]

You have every reason to be happy in your relationship with a [woman], but you just aren’t / everything is going really well, but something is missing and you can’t figure out what

Thinking you’re commitmentphobic because no relationship, no matter how great the [girl], feels quite right and you drag your feet when it comes time to escalate it

Going along with escalation because it seems like the ‘appropriate time’ or bc the [girl] wants it so bad, even if you personally aren’t quite ready to say I love you or have labels or move in together etc.

Or jumping ahead and trying to rush to the ‘comfortably settled’ part of relationships with [girls], trying to make a relationship a done deal without investing time into emotional closeness

Your relationships with [women] are devoid of passion.

Feeling like you have to have relationships with [women] and/or let them get serious in order to prove something, maybe something nebulous you can’t identify

Getting a [girl]friend mostly so other people know you have a [girl]friend and not really being interested in [her] romantically/sexually

Wishing your [girl]friend was more like your [male] friends

Worrying that you’re broken inside and unable to really love anyone

Having had people think you were gay when you had no suspicion you were gay

That got longer than I intended but I wanted it here anyway because it just proves (at least to me) that this is the story they're doing with Eddie. The only ones I didn't include were the parts about sex because other than Shannon we actually haven't seen how Eddie reacts in sexual moments with women.

As for the bachelor party/wedding, I do think a lot is going to happen there, and likely a lot of Buddie clues, big and small, but I still don't think anything physically intimate (kiss, hookup, etc) is going to happen. The only exception might be hand-holding, a hug or like a slow dance. Those I could see being plausible.

#911 abc #911 speculation #eddie diaz #speculation #buddie speculation #buddie #comphet! eddie diaz #this was a lot more than you originally asked for but when my brain starts whirring it can't stop my bad

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homosexuhauls · 1 year

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I haven't seen anyone mention it on here, most likely because English language news sources are reporting them as friends, but a man murdered a lesbian couple in Hong Kong last week.

(Twitter thread includes more sources and proof of the two victims being in a relationship. However, video of the attack exists online and some of the photos in Chinese news articles are graphic/disturbing. Please proceed with caution.)

Fang Xiaotong (26 years old) and Liu Jixi (22 years old) were stabbed to death by a 39 year old man in a targeted attack in a shopping mall. Allegedly, he purchased the knife only after seeing the visibly gay couple, then attacked Fang Xiaotong, who was a Tom, which has a similar meaning to a butch or stud or masc lesbian. Liu Jixi attempted to intervene to save her girlfriend, but the perpetrator stabbed her also. Bystanders and mall security did not intervene, although eventually chefs who worked at the mall heard screams and armed themselves with stools before attempting to stop the attacker. The perpetrator then waited calmly for the police, and both women were pronounced dead at the hospital. While Western sources are painting this as a result of mental illness, the video and local news stories make it clear that this was likely a hate crime.

(Nb. I've also seen their names given as Fong Hiu-tung and Lau Kai-hei, and also that they may have used the nicknames "Daniel" and "Amber". I can't know which names they would have preferred to be used, hence why I'm including all of them here but using Fang Xiaotong and Liu Jixi throughout the post for consistency and clarity.)

From Naomi Wu, whose twitter thread I've linked above, an explanation of the sometimes deadly hostilities Toms and other lesbians face in China and Hong Kong:

When men attack Toms (butches), they think a lot of things- sometimes in Chinese we say "one lesbian steals two men's wives"- herself and her partner. And for bitter middle-aged, unmarried men like this attacker, they've been told their whole life they are owed a wife to wait on them hand and foot- and they feel robbed and wronged by a young handsome Tom taking what's "theirs". They are angry, entitled, jealous- they want to teach her a lesson. They want to punish her for having what is rightfully theirs when they don't. Then it's "Oh, if you want to act like a man, I'll treat you like one". Most need to justify it to themselves to get started. Of course, the femme/Dee/P is always next, because we will fight to save our Tom, and once we do, they can justify turning their violence on us next. In their twisted head, they decide their unprovoked attack was "fighting 1-on-1" and it's our fault for getting involved. All Toms know the deal, they cannot win, all Toms tell their girls again and again "if something happens, just run, I can take it". When the time comes, all Toms try to buy their girl time to get away- even as they go down under fists and boots...or knives They want to buy us time, but no femmes can bear to leave them, so it never works. But they always go for our Toms first, then us. Every time.

Fang Xiaotong was a waiter in a high-end restaurant. She loved small animals and children and had lived with her mother and step-sister prior to moving in with Liu Jixi one to two months before the attack. Liu Jixi was a hair stylist and also worked part-time at a bar, which is apparently where she and Fang Xiaotong met. On the day of the attack, both women were planning to meet up with Fang Xiaotong's family to celebrate her grandfather's birthday.

Rest in peace 🫶 your courage will not be forgotten.

#lesbophobia #homophobia #lgbt #lesbian feminism #radfem safe #radical feminism #idek how to tag this i just want people to see it #it's so unfair to see them being erased before our eyes

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houkagokappa · 3 months

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More Yuri, More Manga

It's been a year since I embarked on my journey to read more yuri manga and it's time for a second update!

After all the yuri manga I read for my previous post, I set my eyes on josei and came to the conclusion that josei that either focuses on wlw or contains wlw relationships, is the best kind of manga there is. I read a lot of josei, and as for works that were also yuri, I read Love My Life, Indigo Blue and Free Soul by Yamaji Ebine, based on a recommendation from @theurbanfuturesoftherecentpast (thank you!!!). Yamaji Ebine has a neat minimalist style and she writes messy complex characters. All her manga had a realistic feel to them, which I enjoyed.

I explored other queer works and stumbled upon Yuri to Koe to Kaze Matoi by Renjouji Mei, which is a yuri manga focused on two asexual women and their relationship. Once again, I found the characters highly relatable and realistic. It's nice to see some asexual representation, but at the same time, I wouldn't have minded more development between them, although that might be on me and the expectations I have when I pick up a new yuri title, that unfortunately didn't fit this manga or topic. Both characters were ace, but the protagonist felt romantic attraction whereas her crush didn't. While they got a happy ending, I didn't feel fully satisfied, and would've liked if the manga had explored the partially unresolved feelings more, mostly due to personal reasons, even if the conclusion would've been the same (which it probably would've).

Back to some high school yuri, I finished Omoi no Kakera by Takemiya Jin, which I actually started reading early last year. It's another manga that's relatable to me, as it portrays characters with different sexualities, who befriend each other due to the shared experience of being young, closeted queer people. We got wlw/mlm solidarity, and characters who are more secure with their sexualities looking over those who are still trying to figure theirs out. The interactions and communities reminded me of the queer youth group I used to be part of :') In addition to that, I liked the portrayal of different kinds of attraction, and how the focus was on the life of a queer person, rather than a specific romance they experienced, since there's indeed more to being queer than some singular love story. Out of all the manga on this list, this is one of my top recommendations, and at some point I should check out Takemiya's other works. She's out as a lesbian, and you can tell she writes based on lived queer experiences.

One day when I didn't have anything else to read, I picked up Luminous=Blue by Iwami Kyoko (same author as Kyou wa Kanojo ga Inai kara). It had the same beautiful artstyle as Kyou wa Kanojo ga Inai kara, was slightly less toxic, but equally messy when it came to the relationships. Luminous=Blue is about a transfer student who loves photography. She starts taking photos of her two new classmates, who unbeknownst to her used to go out with each other, and still harbour some lingering feelings towards each other. I was a fan of the different relationship dynamics and happy with the direction the manga and the relationships took, although the last pages included a twist which felt a little out of place. It's a shame, because if it had been given more time, it could've been a very interesting and welcome development, and I'm curious if Kyou wa Kanojo ga Inai kara will go in a similar direction, since it has the prerequisites for it.

I also read Toumei na Usui Mizuiro ni by the same author, which had an interesting premise of a girl with a crush on her female childhood friend, who was dating their other, male childhood friend. Normally I like this kind of setting with love triangles that include both straight and queer relationships, but since this was only 3 chapters long, the characters and their dynamics weren't established enough for the story to feel as cohesive and satisfying as it could've. At least the art was gorgeous once again, and I enjoyed the messy relationships. The volume contained two one shots as well, which I think were kinda fun, but I cannot remember that well anymore.

Next up, I read Moonlight Flowers by Tsukumo Mutsumi, based on a personal recommendation from someone who has since escaped tumblr. It's one of the older yuri works there are, as it was written in 1989. It's only one volume long and contains two stories about women who are pressured to marry men, and end up in miserable marriages, until they decide to leave their husbands to be with the women they love. It has a strong feminist message and I've seen a lot of people praise it online, but I wasn't too fond of it. I couldn't quite connect with the characters, and because of that, I didn't particularly enjoy reading about women lacking rights, or homosexuality not being socially accepted. However, I can see how others might be able to feel inspired or empowered reading about characters who overcome the obstacles in their way. It was also quite dramatic, but I will always be in favour of that (even when it's ridiculous, like it was here).

I continued with Sakura no Sono by Yoshida Akimi, which was another recommendation from the same person. It's another old manga, first published in 1985, about the romances of four girls in a drama club of an all girls high school. I found Yoshida's style charming, but it's not among my personal favourites. Some characters looked quite similar and were hard to distinguish. It was disappointing to realise that only one chapter focused on a girl crushing on another girl, while the other romances and the majority of the manga were about straight characters/relationships. If I would've known that from the start, I could've adjusted my expectations accordingly, which is a shame, because now I'm mostly disappointed by the lack of yuri, and it's harder for me to appreciate the work as a whole. It was decent, but quite forgettable.

Then I completed Watashi no Muchi na Watashi no Michi by Momono Moto (same author as Yuunagi Marbled and Kimi Koi Limit from my previous post). I first started reading it 5 years ago, but didn't finish it due to the scanlation taking its sweet time. Now I read it from start to finish. It's about a woman in her early 20's, who's spent all her life pleasing others, and is on the path to marry a male childhood friend of hers, simply out of duty to him and her mom, before her female coworker steps in and swoops her away. The manga takes a weird turn after that, as it turns out the coworker might've had some ulterior motives getting close to our protagonist, but it's interesting, until a somewhat abrupt ending. It was nice to read about a young adult who never cared for romance until she fell in love with her coworker, and for once I didn't even mind the plot point where she was about to marry a man, since it made sense for them and he wasn't overly vilified for how he reacted to her rejection or the reveal of her relationship with another woman (not that it was great either). The art was nice and I liked all the characters. It wasn't anything groundbreaking, but it was a fun read.

Another recommendation from @theurbanfuturesoftherecentpast was Maka-Maka by Kishi Torajiro, an adult manga about the close relationship between two best friends, Jun and Nene. The manga is two volumes long with short chapters in full colour, which required some adjustment from me as I'm usually only reading manga in black and white. It didn't feel like any other yuri I've read, in a good way! My absolute favourite part was how comfortable Jun and Nene were with each other, with a strong mental connection, and frequent, casual sexual encounters. Their relationship felt real and I loved how they kept smiling throughout the sex scenes, which made for an interesting combination of wholesome and horny. I highly recommend this manga, as I'm still thinking about it months later...

Next up, I read Watashi no Sekai wo Kousei suru Chiri no You na Nani ka. by Amano Shuninta. It's about seven university students and their ever changing relationships. Once again, the protagonist was a whole mood as she complained about all her friends having boyfriends which she hated, having a very relatable crush on one of said friends, before getting to live the fantasy of ending up with her. I looooved the inclusion of a toxic lesbian (and her toxic lesbian clique) who would sleep around and toy with others, letting lesbians be flawed people too, but also having wholesome and genuinely good people in the cast, as a counterbalance and showcase of the whole spectrum of different people with different views on love and sex (especially fitting for the university age/setting). There were happy times, but also angst and heartbreak, and bittersweet love, between women who truly cared for each other, but weren't suitable for each other as they had different needs when it came to their relationship and sex life. At first it was a little challenging to keep track of seven different characters, but by the end of it I really enjoyed the various relationship dynamics and the somewhat unlikely friendships that formed between them.

I also read Sweet Guilty Love Bites by Amano Shuninta, which consisted of three short stories about four cabaret girls. The first story was about one of the cabaret girls taking in a random woman she came across, which I didn't care for that much. The second story was about a single mother who unknown to her, hooked up with her child's kindergarten teacher. First she freaked out, thinking she'd be judged for her profession, but the kindergarten teacher was chill and only looking to date her. It was very sweet to see them take care of the child together. I also loved the third story about two cabaret girls who were best friends and roommates, with one of them being very vocal about her love towards women and other cabaret girls, which is a trait I always appreciate. Seeing her pining for her friend/roommate/coworker was great, and precisely the kind of stuff I love! Amano has a lot more in her library and after enjoying these two manga, I think the rest are worth checking out as well. I especially like how her characters are allowed to be horny, but there’s more to her manga than just sex.

Then I picked up Kimi to Shiranai Natsu ni Naru by Keyyan, thanks to the premise which sounded relatable. It’s about two women who are at the end of their university studies and looking for work in Tokyo, facing rejection after rejection. They’ve had enough of it and decide to run away from all the expectations and responsibilities to a small island. First of all, what a mood. Second, I really liked the art, especially the character expressions, and how well their excitement was conveyed. The island setting was also A+, and I loved the portrayal of young adults who were in an established relationship, with no uncertainty or drama about the same-sex relationship itself. They were devoted to each other, and the reason both of them wanted to work hard, so they could provide for one another. Besides that, my feelings towards this manga went back and forth quite a lot. First I enjoyed the escapism, but then I had to take a break because it became too idealised with conveniences you can't count on in real life. Once I picked it back up again, I realised that the story actually does stick to reality, when the characters start to worry about money and finding permanent work on the island. While I was happy with that development, it backfired as I was reading this while I was away from home myself, and anxious about my own future in regards to my education and employment, so reading about their struggles felt a bit too real and stressful. Unfortunately, it seems like the series got axed, because the ending was sudden and can be interpreted in two opposing ways, one depressing, one hopeful, and neither fits the story I can only assume the series wanted to tell. It's still a manga worth reading, but maybe in the right mindset.

Although I try to stay away from ongoing works, Dore ga Koi ka ga Wakaranai by Oku Tamamushi seemed fun, so I couldn't help but check it out. It’s about a girl who is unable to confess to her high school crush of 3 years, and starts university determined to find a girlfriend. And oh boy does she find potential girlfriends! She instantly meets and falls for five different women, who also become enamoured with her. What follows is a bunch of flirting, some deliberate, some accidental. The catch is, she doesn't know which one to pursue seriously. The tone is lighthearted and comedic, and the series is best described by the tagline to one of the chapters as "an endless conveyor belt of yuri encounters". I like all the girls, the girls and their embarrassed or flustered expressions are very cute, and instead of the setting falling apart with five people never confessing or trying to seriously pursue the main girl, some do, while others have believable reasons to hold back. The pace is quick enough for any interruptions or miscommunications to not feel aggravating, with several encounters each chapter. I'm curious to see how the manga will continue and potentially end, with some ships seeming more likely than others, since there has been some actual development! I'll also throw it out there, that this manga is a good example of why dark haired girl/light haired girl is an established pairing, since the main pursuer at the moment has light hair and bangs like the protagonist, and it can be a little difficult to tell them apart from some panels or angles.

Another ongoing work I began reading because it ticked the right boxes for me was Sukeban to Tenkousei by Fujichika. As the name suggests, it’s about the somewhat unlikely relationship between a delinquent girl and a sweet transfer student. The manga is set in the Showa era in the 80s and has very charming art. I thought it would be pretty lighthearted and fun, opposites attract type of story, but then one of the characters saw how romantic love was defined as feelings towards the opposite sex, heartbroken by the fact there wasn't a name for her feelings, and I was in tears thinking of anyone who's ever felt that pain. Otherwise, it's mostly a comedy and a fun, easy read, with not that many chapters out yet.

Finally, reaching the anniversary of my year long yuri journey, I finished reading the manga adaptation of Murasakiiro no Qualia, by Ueo Hisamitsu and Tsunashima Shirou. It's a sci-fi series with psychological and mystery elements, about Yukari, a girl with purple eyes who sees humans as robots, and Gaku, the protagonist who befriends her. There are a lot of twists and turns to the story, and it gets gory and dark, as Yukari uses her abilities to help the police solve murder cases and later gets involved with a secret organisation. It's also very philosophical and a bit difficult/slow to read at times, when characters get surprisingly deep into quantum mechanics. I liked the narration a lot, because there's a lot of repetition and Gaku, who's telling the story, jumps back and forth on the timeline, giving the reader more context and insights each time. I was also a huge fan of the character development she went through, starting to exhibit truly unhinged behavior to a level that's hard to find elsewhere, but also oddly reminiscent of Madoka Magica? The ending was satisfying, and it was cool to see it circle back to the beginning. I didn't know anything about this manga beforehand and after a curious start, it kept getting better and better. I originally found out about it in the tags of a tumblr post complaining about variety in yuri, so this is me giving back to the community and passing on the recommendation.

...That was a lot more yuri to add to the library, and there are still so many different works I look forward to reading! I don't know if I'll continue documenting my journey, as I'm probably going to slow down on the yuri a bit, but who knows if the bug bites me again and I won't read anything else for months on end! Again, thank you for reading through all this, I hope you're inspired to read some yuri yourself, and if you have any recommendations I'm always happy to hear them!

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steddieasitgoes · 5 months

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@steddiemas Day 11 Prompt: Pop/Alt Holiday Songs

Tags: Alcohol Consumption, Established Relationship, Santa Con, Karaoke, Steve Harrington Is A Tease

wc: 1596 | Rating: T

Read on ao3 | ao3 collection

Eddie’s had his fair share of wild nights bar hopping in Seattle. Sometimes with Steve, sometimes with the Corroded Coffin boys, sometimes alone desperate to break out of the deep-seated loneness that overtakes him every few years.

But he’s never experienced anything quite like this.

After a night of endless hopping, they find themselves at a karaoke bar in the heart of Downtown Boston packed with college students and young adults all dressed in their best Santa suits like them. Miraculously, they find an empty booth in the corner and stake their claim.

Robin and Nancy collapse into each other, shedding their red coats over the worn edge as they do so. Jonathan and Argyle aren’t far behind, though Argyle stays fully in costume. (“I really think I should grow a beard, my dude,” he slurs for the hundredth time of the night as he shuffles across the cracking vinyl.) Steve goes next, sliding in next to Robin and then Eddie follows, nearly missing the seat entirely as the opening chords of Wham’s “Last Christmas” rips through the small bar from the stage across the room. A pair of best friends laugh their way through the opening words, absolutely massacring the song.

“Oh god,” Steve groans. “They’re disrespecting Wham!”

“That’s the point!” Robin giggles, moving to rest her head on his shoulder. “No one is supposed to sing good at karaoke! S’why we’re all here!”

“We are not singing karaoke!”

“You better turn that Grinch face of yours around because we absolutely are! Nance and I signed us all up weeks ago.”

“You devious lesbians,” Eddie laughs before leaning around Steve to place a slobbery kiss on Robin’s head. “I owe you so much for this one.”

“Buy us drinks and we’ll call it even!”

It’s a fair deal as far as Eddie’s concerned so he quickly gets himself back on his feet and wades through the hoards of Santas until he gets to the bar. It’s just like any other dive bar he’s been in. Sticky countertops, shelves, and shelves of liquor, charming but overworked bartenders working and flirting their asses off for tips. He knows exactly what it’s like bartending and he doesn’t miss it.

Though maybe he would have had more fun if the places he worked had events like this. At least he’d have people to make fun of beyond the sad drunks that became his regulars.

Eddie returns five minutes later with a tray of mixed drinks and shots. If he’s being totally straight with himself, he’s not sure what he ordered. They look pretty though and judging by the puckered face on Robin and Jonathan’s faces, they must be mixed well. Lightweights the both of them.

Needing the least bit of persuading, Eddie takes the stage first, serenading the crowd in a rock and roll rendition of “It’s Beginning to Look a Lot like Christmas” that goes off the rails given he sings it at double the speed. Argyle drags Jonathan up next, the two stumbling their way through “Feliz Navidad” — Argyle carries the Spanish sections while Jonathan squints at the teleprompter during the English bits. It’s a hilarious disaster that has the entire bar cheering them on.

Nancy and Robin’s rendition of “Last Christmas” gets everyone going and suddenly a complimentary round of drinks ends up on their table as they belt out the final line. A few groups of strangers take the stage next. They’re decent but nowhere as entertaining as any of them. They’re only half watching at this point, too engrossed with their own conversations and carry-over argument over who the best-dressed Santa of the bunch is.

(“Obviously s’not Eddie,” Nancy giggles.

“You wound me, Wheeler,” Eddie gasps, clutching a hand over his jet-black fur coat. “Gothic Santa would have killed it in Seattle. You Bostonians don’t understand culture.”)

Another round of drinks materializes on their table and then they’re back in the karaoke rotation again. By the time Steve’s name is being called by the poor bar employee tasked with keeping things running smoothly, he’s the perfect amount of drunk that he doesn’t protest Eddie’s careful tugging. He doesn’t go willingly, but he’s sporting that crooked smile of his that tells Eddie he’s not exactly mad about the events transpiring in front of him.

“See sweetheart,” Eddie croons, leaning into his space as he passes him the mic. “Just needed a little liquid courage. Now show the world how great of a singer you are.”

“S’gonna be a disaster.”

“Oh, definitely,” Eddie smiles, pecking his cheek. “But that’s the point!”

Eddie doesn’t give Steve time to reach out and instead retreats to the booth. He slides in next to a giddy Robin as they both wait with bated breath for Steve to choose a song. A minute or two of silence passes before Steve looks up from the machine. The old stage lights cast a beautiful shadow over him. Eyes sparkling in the harsh fluorescents. Usually, Steve would be complaining about the godawful lights, but right now he’s winking at Eddie and practically skipping to the center of the stage.

Another moment of silence passes before the bright cheery guitar of Britney Spears’s My Only Wish (This Year) floods the place. Steve starts rocking his hips to the beat, hand gripping the microphone tight enough that Eddie can see his knuckles turning white. The nerves evaporate from his body the minute he starts singing, though. If Eddie didn’t know better, he’d think Steve has been possessed by the spirit of the Princess of Pop.

“I signed my letter that I sealed with a kiss,” Steve sings, throwing a hand over his lips before blowing a sloppy kiss in Eddie’s direction. And then he’s moving again, skipping around the stage as his Santa coat glides around behind him.

By the time the second verse hits, Steve’s shimming out of the coat, putting on a show for the group of girls sitting at the front tables. Eddie wants to scream. Wants to stalk over to the girls and tell them to back the fuck up, but he’s held steady in his seat by Jonathan’s comforting hand and Steve’s unwavering gaze as he locks eyes with him across the hoards of people.

“I want my baby, baby,” Steve scream sings, already losing the beat as his hips continue to sway.

“Someone to love me, someone to hold!” Eddie shouts along with him as the rest of the table eggs him on.

It’s chaos after that. Steve throws his Santa hat into the crowd, Robin’s on the table filming the entire thing on her ancient iPhone. “That’s your man, Munson,” Nancy wheezes, nudging Eddie’s ribs every time Steve turns to shake his ass for the excited crowd.

Eddie’s absolutely captivated by the performance. When he first met Steve years ago he was uptight and reserved. It didn’t matter how much effort Eddie put into his conversations, it was like trying to pry open a bank vault. But when he finally cracked the code, Steve sparkled in a way Eddie couldn’t even dream about.

Steve’s better now, more open with himself and who is he. Fully embraces the fun that life has to offer, but Eddie can tell there are moments when he retreats to that small boy who never got the attention he deserved. It’s what makes moments like this so much more amazing. Seeing Steve shine and live his best life, free from judgment is the best gift Eddie’s ever received. And he’s not about to miss a damn minute of it.

When the bridge drops, Steve prances around the stage like one of Santa’s reindeer. He’s sporting a reindeer headband that someone threw up there and there are a handful of dollar bills crumpled up on the edge of the stage. Somehow it’s gone from a karaoke show to some erotic dance number as Steve shimmies around and tries to keep up with the words.

Eddie’s never been more in love in his entire life.

“Santa, that’s my only wish this year,” Steve sings the final line, holding out the note like he’s the Princess of Pop herself instead of some high school teacher.

A standing ovation follows, but Eddie doesn’t have time to bask in the affection being thrown at his boyfriend because he’s moving through the crowd faster than he’s ever moved in his life. When he gets to the end of the stage, Steve practically dives into his arms. He wraps himself around Eddie, legs around his waist, arms around his neck and smiles that perfect, beautiful smile of his. His cheeks are flushed pink from the performance and the amount of liquor coursing through his veins and his eyes are big and bright.

“What’d think? S’Santa gonna grant my wish?” Steve asks.

“Sweetheart,” Eddie coos, ducking his head to get his lips on Steve’s. “You know I’ll be waiting for you under the tree in a big red bow.”

#steddiemas #steddie #steddie fic #steddie ficlet #steddie fan fic #steve harrington #steve harrington fic #eddie munson #eddie munson fic #dani writes

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alexissara · 4 months

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Top 11 Ships of 2023

Time for a typical and normal numbered top 11 list, the classic and well known format, top 11, which everyone uses and everyone loves garnering much SEO so that I may boost myself. This standard top 11 of the year list which everyone does annually really is covering ships I really loved this year. I love love and therefore love when romance is in things I watch and I love imaging relationships between characters. While I am not a super active fanfic writer or reader I enjoy fan art and thinking about dynamics and sometimes writing or reading. This year had a ton of girls I thought should kiss so without further ado let's get into it.

Sulleta and Chuchu [Gundam: The Witch From Mecury]

Opening with a Rare Pair but I am here to wave my Sulleta and Chuchu flag. While all my ships are polyam and open to them dating lots of other women if I had to pick a pair for either women it be them together. Unlike their other relationships this is a true ride of die pair. Chuchu and Sulletta always have each others backs even when their hurt by people they love and trust. Their both mech pilots and can fight together. Their adorable and sweet and I can see them blowing up their enemies together and wish we had more of it in the show.

Whisper and Tangle [Sonic IDW]

Pictured above is not an edit but an actual panel from Sonic IDW. While the creators have fairly clearly said that Sega simply will not allow them to make any romance canon straight or gay including for original characters these two are clearly being written as a couple and everyone has simply agreed that they are gay and hoping that fan pressure will eventually force Segas hands. These hero besties are opposites attracts goodness one is silent and keeps her feelings inside the other is out there and emotional but both kick ass together and support each other. These furries are probably as close to canon romance sonic is gonna get for the foreseeable future and their just so cute I'll never get over them.

Edelgard Polycule

While not a new ship or a ship with new offical content at all in 2023 outside of Edelgard talking about some of her girlfriends in Emblem ring conversations in Engage but I made new content, a lot of it for this ship in 2023 so it be lying to say it wasn't a top ship, probably the top ship given I ya know made fan content for it. Edelgard deserves all the girlfriends in the world and I am utterly giddy when I think about Edelgard and her big group of GFs. I feel similarly about many FE women but none as strongly as Lady Edelgard [Monica moment]. Edelgard does so much to make a better future for everyone and I think at the end of it, she should be loved every second of the rest of her life. I'm even doing like a private Three Houses roleplay thing for our combined ideal route for the game and crafting our own definitive version of the story.

HarlIvy [Harley Quinn Animated, DC]

Harlivy forever! Harlivy is for sure one of my oldest ships but it's also a ship that had a fucking load of amazing new stuff this year. While I have not read the comics proper we had a main line Harley Quinn comic where they said that a multiversal truth about Harley is that she has an Ivy and a fucked up evil Harley was redeemed by finding her fucked up evil Ivy with the help of main Harley. We had the utterly adorable DC Pride comic featuring them basically adopting Crash another lesbian character. Then we had a new season of Harley Quinn animated that while it started rough I think had a good purpose in establishing what the creators believe is the heart of Harley and Ivy and it's something I agree with so ya know awesome. Harley and Ivy complete each other and while I see them as being polyam I think their the core part of their relationship, nesting bitches for life. Their a couple I'd love to write some fics for and in general just a dynamic I really truly love a lot. Harley and Ivy are complicated and messy gals and seeing them figure their shit out together is great.

Jala/Tyler/Diya [Thirsty Suitors]

I want this messy trio of exes to be a sexy little triad. Jala and Tyler have a very messy history but to me I think the answer is clear on why Jala is like this, which is that she will never be happy with just one partner, she's not meant for monogamy and I think when her and Tyler have healed more and Jala realizes this about herself, they can have a talk and like both actually have a healthy polyam relationship rather than a toxic monogamous relationship. That's where Diya comes in she was an asshole and a bully but she's grown and she is a proud out lesbian now and helps take care of the community something Tyler cares about and she's still into Jala and i think them growing into a cute little throuple would be so good and I wanna see them kiss and I need it actually, it's canon according to me.

Pink Sugar Polycule [Pink Sugar]

This polycule is end game but I've been sold on them from go. These four sexy lesbians are just all such compelling characters, I want to know more about all of them, their lives when they were human, their lives in Purgatory, and see them thrive together as a little quad of deliciously darling dykes. These are some of my favorite characters ever written and the story is still in it's early days. I imagine in years to follow they will remain a favorite ship. They all feel very different but all feel like a realistic group of people to be friends and be lovers. Every dynamic between them works and they suit each other every way around. Any of them would be an amazing couple but all together their an even better polycule.

Juri and Chun-li [Street Fighter]

Another classic Alexis Sara ship that's got some new spice this year. The release of Street Fighter 6 had a little bit more Juri and Chun-li for us, Juri is still obsessed at the very least. Then we got a few extra tidbits in the You Got This Juri comics. Juri is this messy little disaster Gremlin and Chun-li is a mostly has it together sweet now adoptive mother. I think Juri would add some fun to Chun-lis life and Chun-li would help her get her shit together. I think both of them could help them be morally better people Juri would de-cop Chun-li and Chun-li would help her like not take obviously dubious hit jobs. Their just kinda perfect for each other ya know.

Sailorcule [Sailor Moon]

This is another one that technically had "no new content" like I didn't watch the new movie, I've been waiting for an offical release and it's not happened so here I am but what I did really get into this year was enjoying the inner senshi as a big polycule. I always enjoyed HaruMichi and quickly enjoyed HaruMichiSetsuna but kinda just shipping all the girls together while something on paper was like sure I do that evolved from a sure thing to something I actively really enjoy. A lot of that is thanks to yamino's amazing fan art and my own Magical Girl OCs who are pretty heavily inspired by Sailor Moon so I started to see them in the dynamics between the girls.

Shadowheart and Nocturne [Baldur's Gate 3]

One of this years totally new ships and one I truly adore and wish was more popular was Shadowheart X Nocturne. These two have probably my favorite tropey ship dynamic of them all Childhood friends to lovers. I enjoy all sorts of dynamics but when I am roleplaying, when I am looking at my most beloved ships, I am thinking wouldn't it be cute if they knew each other when they were younger? Nocturne and Shadowheart are so loaded with good little spice in their childhood friends to lovers arc too though. Like Shadowheart and Nocturne both picked their chosen names together. Shadowheart would forget everything with memories being erased and Nocturne would tell her everything and still love her every time. Even after forgetting her again in the most recent events Nocturne remains loyal to her to the point where if Shadowheart becomes a Selunite the sworn enemy of Shar Nocturne despite not having the strength to leave the faith still acts as an inside woman to help Shadowheart evade assassins from Shar. I think the two should get married and live happily ever after and my Tav can marry them both too, I don't see why not and they can both fuck Alyin and Isobel while we're at it. I just want them to be happy together. Outside of Three Houses stuff this is the ship I am most compelled to write fics for simply because no one else is shipping them and I think it's so fucking juicy and why won't anyone sit down with me and eat some of this delicious juicy fruits.

Rae Clair [I'm In Love With The Villainess]

MISSSS CLAIR! Rae's obsession with Clair might frustrate me a bit in the light novel version but in every other version I only find it utterly endearing. I love a good obsession, I love when someone is like on their mind so often and they live for them and it's just ahh so yummy. I think what Rae brings to Clair is really nice for Clair too. Clair feels abandoned constantly, she's lonely and trying to fit a model of a type of person that she's been told she's supposed to be. Rae helps her break those norms, makes her feel not alone, makes her realize she wants to help people. Their really adorable and I do look forward to picking up more of the audiobooks of the light novels and seeing how their relationships evolve along with keeping up with the manga as it releases in English volumes. Their really good and I want to engage them in every medium I can.

Nomoto X Kasuga [She Loves To Cook And She Loves To Eat]

I mean I couldn't not put these two on this list, I want them to kiss and have a house and get married and be together forever. This one has no messy layers, there isn't really the juice but what they have is the true to life, down to it's core, amazing sweetness. It's like a wonderful ice cream dish lovingly crafted down to the last delightfully delicate detail. They just are so good together, they make each other happy, they have a really real feeling healthy slowly building relationship. They both bring out the best in each other and they both always have a good time together. It's really perfect and I think it just feels so honest and sweet and like ya know as a lesbian I feel really seen by them, their relationship, them as characters and the whole story. Nothing is quite as wonderful as She Loves To COok and She Loves To Eat.

If you want to help me enjoy more art then consider checking out my Patreon or Ko-fi .and giving me a little bit of cash so I can do more of this kind of writing but also like make lots of my own art, art is hard to make and costs money and like maintain my chronically ill and trans body also takes money so anything helps, thank you.

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markantonys · 7 months

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I haven’t read the books but I do know what they have done with Moiraine and Siuan’s relationship is way more than it was in the books. On the one hand they developed it fully, have given them a very clear and deep 20 year relationship. And on the other hand, they also destroyed it fully by the end of season 2. Where do you think they are taking this? Will they stick to the books and give them their other relationships or will they weave them back together. It’s anyone’s guess but am interested to hear what yours is. I like the theory that their fallout was preplanned and part of the reason the episode was called daes daemar. But me liking something does not equal logic and fact to be sure

imo there's 0 chance that either of them will have their book relationships, that's just not happening and i find it a little silly when people (not you! but i've seen others doing it) immediately panic and think the show broke them up for that purpose haha of course i can understand why people are worried and upset! but it feels so SO unlikely that either character would ever have a romance with anyone but each other in the show, so that is one worry i think it's pretty safe to set aside altogether. (for time constraint reasons if nothing else; giving moiraine and/or siuan a brand-new love interest and having to develop that relationship would be far from the best use of the show's limited time. plus, i remember rafe outright called moiraine a lesbian in an interview once, so i highly doubt he's got plans for her, at least, to have a male love interest at any point.)

this got a little long so putting a read more!

personally i don't buy the preplanned fallout theory because i think the waygate scene doesn't work with it. if their goal was to make rand trust moiraine, then they accomplished that with their scene in the throne room; there was no need for siuan to chase them down to the waygate, she could've just let them leave if she was in on moiraine's plan here. the only time this theory felt plausible to me is when someone suggested they were in on it together UP UNTIL siuan saw moiraine channeling after moiraine had told her she was stilled, and so everything before that point was an act but everything after was genuine. but even then, it's tricky to explain why siuan would have even chased them to the waygate in the first place - unless she just wanted to make sure they got away successfully and/or wanted leane & co to think she made an effort to stop them, but then catching moiraine in an apparent lie made her change her mind and actually try to stop them? but yeah, imo there's no way the waygate scene was not genuine, but it's possible (but still unlikely; again imo) that the scenes before it were part of a scheme.

and to me, that's okay! to me, as a queer person myself (but ofc i'm just speaking for myself, not for All Queer People), giving queer characters and queer relationships the same narrative weight as het ones also means letting them be flawed and have conflict, rather than keeping them up on a pedestal of perfection and ultimately relegating them to the background of the story because you won't let them face obstacles or develop. i understand why others don't feel that way and were upset by the way things went down in 2x07, but that's just my personal feeling and that's why i personally wasn't bothered to see siuan and moiraine have major conflict here (especially since, unlike the Queer Traumaporn in so much media, this conflict had nothing to do with them being queer - it just felt like a natural conflict that arose from the two characters' specific personalities and life circumstances, as opposed to feeling like they were being punished by their world or by the narrative for being queer, you know?)

duty is a huge theme of WOT and here we saw how moiraine and siuan are both so committed to duty above absolutely everything else. they are both willing to sacrifice anything for what they each see as the greater good, and here, when they realize they have different ideas* about what best serves the greater good, they sacrifice even their relationship with each other because they feel they have no other choice, because they've spent 20 years training themselves to think that the greater good is more important than their personal happiness. to me it's so beautifully tragic! and to me it felt like the best kind of tragedy, one that's rooted in the specific characterization of the individuals involved and on all the previous choices they've made that built up to make the moment of tragedy an inevitable outcome.

*and both are reasonable and in-character ideas that were set up last season. we saw how in their discussion of "can the prophecies be trusted?" in 1x06 that moiraine is skeptical of tower tradition/protocol because she's been out in the world and largely cut off from the tower for 20 years, whereas siuan tends to trust tower tradition/protocol because she's been in the tower leading it for 20 years. and now in s2, from moiraine's perspective they need to break with tower protocol because the tower is too fractured and they have too many enemies within it, but from siuan's perspective they need to return to tower protocol because they tried going rogue and doing so freed the forsaken and was a huge mistake.

all this being said, i do not by any means think the relationship is 100% dead and over for good. like you say, the show put in work to make their relationship much deeper than it was in the books, and i don't think that was for nothing! i think that siuan in particular has been set up for a really meaty character development arc and that this is only the very beginning for her, and that by the end of the show we'll see the two of them reconcile and come back together. maybe i'm totally wrong and maybe it'll turn out that i shouldn't have given the benefit of the doubt, but as of now i don't feel there's reason to worry the show has completely trashed their relationship for good. but season 3 will be a make-or-break season, so by the end of that, depending on how certain book events play out, we should have a much clearer idea of their long-term plans for siuan and siuaraine!

#again not trying to invalidate anyone's differing feelings on this topic! just sharing my own #anonymous #answered #wot show spoilers #wot book spoilers #(mildly so)

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r1-jw-lover · 3 months

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HULLO!!!!! :P

rank your top five fav ships from the john wick series !! :3

Hi, thank you for the ask. Just wanna put a disclaimer that my first venture into the JW fandom was through the fourth film, so my ranking list will be heavily biased on that movie.

John x Caine

It's not even one year since JW4 is out and John/Caine is already on the top ten most written ships on AO3 within the John Wick fandom.

This pairing has just the right amount of bittersweetness and melancholy for me, and putting it on top of the actors' chemistry, the gay divorced vibes, the bickering, friends to reluctant enemies, the parallels, being each other's mirror, their deep trust, understanding and care for one another, you get my number one JW ship on this list.

The friendship between John & Caine is definitely one of the most developed and convincing out of all the friends John Wick had in the series, and in spite of the circumstances forcing them to be pitted against each other, they still managed to find comfort in the other's presence regardless, and I think that in itself is beautiful.

2. Koji x John x Caine

You know what else is better than putting Keanu Reeves and Donnie Yen together in the same movie? Putting Keanu Reeves, Donnie Yen AND Hiroyuki Sanada together in the same movie.

You have already seen the incredible fanart [1, 2, 3] by the wonderful @ibahibut. They are THE old men yaoi of the recent decade of cinema, period.

The dynamics between the three of them are immaculate. Not only you have John & Caine (explanation above), John & Koji are very supportive of each other, and Koji & Caine have both the closeness and the inevitable tragicness that undercurrents their brotherhood.

All in all, I desperately need a prequel series of this trio.

3. John x Helen

It's the only canon romantic relationship in the series so it has to be on the list. Other than the fact that one of them is dead, I think that John/Helen is incredibly sweet, which make the heartaches even more painful.

John's grief for Helen's passing is one of the main driving forces for the character throughout the series. His almost religious love and devotion to his wife is all the more apparent given that Helen is the reason John had fought to stay alive for as long as four movies.

At the end of the day, John only wished to die not as the Baba Yaga but as a loving husband, finally succumbing to his wounds with Helen being his last thought before dying. (TAT)

4. Akira x Mia

Gosh, I love my lesbian rarepair too much. I initially shipped them merely for the shits and giggles (i.e. Akira getting back at Caine by dating his daughter lol), but then I also come to realise their potential as a pairing story-wise.

Outside of the obvious enemies to/and lovers vibes, I could imagine both Akira and Mia inheriting a lot of angst from their respective "father problems" that they must resolve between each other. Will Akira ever tell Mia about her plan to kill Caine? Will Mia ever understand Akira's revenge against her father? Will Mia decide to step into the fold of assassins because of Akira? Will Akira leave the High Table to be with Mia like how John did for Helen?

As a conclusion... Gosh, I love my lesbian rarepair too much.

5. Marquis x Wuxia DJ

The funniest and best crack ship ever made up in the John Wick fandom, and there's just the two of us, hahahaha. They give off high-school exes who are so, so fashionable and serve cunt while talking shit about the other behind each other's backs.

It's number five on my list because it's that good.

Honorable mention: Cassian x Gianna

Before the fourth movie is released, Cassian & Gianna is the only pairing I could see happening in the background. Cassian's loyalty to Gianna even after she died is very touching, and Gianna seemed very appreciative of it from the short interaction they have in JW2.

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chipped-chimera · 7 months

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So, I'm a Lesbian I guess.

So uh, life update. I came out to my Mum, so I figured I'd do so here too.

I've done a bunch of self reflection, healing. I reached out to my ex and we had a good conversation and I think that just made everything even clearer for me.

So yeah, this is me saying I'm not bisexual. I'm lesbian. And I probably always was.

More context below the cut if you want it (it's long). But anyway, here's to finally feeling like I'm finding the real 'me' in all this rubble.

❤️🧡🤍💖💜

I thought I was bisexual for ages. The fact I even got to think that wouldn't have happened if it weren't for my ex, who identified that way and I felt in a safe enough environment to express it. In the past two months I went through some self reflection, and talked to my ex for the first time in 2 years. It was good, and it's too complicated to explain easily but at least on my end I was getting a double dosage of the comphet juice between just regular expectations and the undiagnosed autism (also jesus christ, being a teenager in 2005-2010 that environment was just fucked up for anyone who might be trying to come to terms with not being straight). Kids in my school were more accepting, but also in the same breath using 'Gay' as an insult).

We were both undiagnosed neurodiverse people and maybe it was just the first time we'd encountered someone who just actually understood for once. Who saw who we were and were okay with that. The 10 year relationship, put in that context makes a lot of sense. So I don't blame him for how it ended. If anything I thanked him for breaking it off, because I was in such a goddamn state after being used by the Australian government (see Robodebt) there was no way in hell I had the mental tools or even brain space to realise anything about myself because I was too busy just trying to fucking survive. I would have lived and died in that relationship simply because at least it was safe, and stable. But it wasn't genuine.

Past two years since that relationship ended were fucking rough. For most of this year I kind of just turned into myself I guess, but I was letting it happen because after finding out about the high comorbidity of chronic health conditions with Autism and how it's likely related to long-term compound stress from masking for so long, I really asked myself when was the last time I just let myself 'rest'? Didn't do anything I didn't want to do or feel compelled to do because of some social contract or guilt?

I couldn't come up with an answer.

So I rested. And I think that's basically given me the strength now to finally 'wake up'. I dunno. That's how it feels. I only recently noticed my thoughts about women were structurally very different than the ones about men (and yeah it's goddamn fuckin' embarassing to say but uh thanks Larian specifically for giving me a female love interest tailored to my exact preference which FINALLY connected some dusty neuron in the back of my head or something. It was Karlach. MY GODDAMN GAY AWAKENING WAS KARLACH, ffs) and the more I examined it, the more everything became clear. I was hesitant to remove the bi label from myself, wondering if this was just a really extreme 'bi-cycle' swing but the more and more I thought about it, went through memories in my life, how I could never see myself with someone else it was always characters together and really it was the relationship and intimacy between them, regardless of gender that I was appreciating.

I thought I was grey ace but after going 'huh these thoughts are kind of different' and realising that yeah, I could imagine myself with a woman - it wasn't some weird other shit I'd told myself like it was just visceral self hatred or something, placing myself with a guy it was literally I did not want to be with a guy - it became obvious. So fucking, embarrassingly obvious.

I'm not sure where things will go from here. I am incredibly socially isolated in real life. My best friend is my Mum. I don't have a social circle at all outside of online spaces. I'm 30 and that's a fucking weird age to be thrown out into the world essentially experiencing goddamn delayed idk mental puberty because you suppressed it that hard. I haven't used a dating app in my LIFE. I'm still kind of scared of being hurt by others and I'm aware it's not entirely logical, but I just feel fragile. I'm also still picking up the pieces of my life.

I've confirmed a C-PTSD diagnosis with my psychologist, which explains why all the CBT tools I'd learned over the years just stopped working (CBT doesn't always gel well with PTSD or Autism) so that's probably going to inform treatment going forward. My intense fatigue issues are probably caused by having to carry all this fucking trauma and suppression of myself. As I said to my Mum, it's like I'm just 'Tired from being alive' at this point. I'm really, really fucking hoping it's not Chronic Fatigue Syndrome/ME. The new medication I'm on seems to be keeping me going past the 4hr mark though, so we might be onto the right medication mix (I do not appreciate the 7:30pm crash, like clockwork, where instead of feeling unfocused and tired like before I now feel jacked up as hell like I'm waiting for someone to punch me however :V)

I don't know where this is going. Or where I'm going. All I know is 'I'm going'. When the breakup first happened, when I hauled myself out of the Mental Health ward and back to my parents home where I had to figure out what the fuck to do after any kind of certainty of my future had been completely obliterated - I saw a lot of snakes. I'm kind of vaugely pagan, if I'm honest. I don't know how to put it. I am very scientific but I also don't think we know all the answers.

My ancestors were likely heavily Celtic, likely some Viking and Pictish influence as both family lines go back to Scotland and Ireland. I know through my reading that natural signs were important to them, so I start noticing when I see multiple occurrences, especially in odd places (I'll be real, I just remembered earlier in this relationship when I was more into pagan shit I saw a lot of Moths. Yeah. Yeah I feel like smashing my face into my desk about that. No I never figured it out then EITHER). I know quite a few things about snakes. Snakes are an animal that is both used as a symbol for medicine, but also classed as 'evil', especially in the modern christian context.

They are considered symbols of rejuvenation, of immortality, much like the Phoenix, they are constantly reborn through the shedding of their skin. Shedding is critical to a snake, because if it does not shed it's skin, it will die. This is a legitimate concern for zookeepers with snakes that have scars - they often struggle to shed completely, and they have to soak the snake's skin in water so they can cast off the skin.

So it's shed or die.

I have struggled to let go of things. Of everything that was done to me, but I knew it had to be let go. And today I have shed a lot of that shit. I am crying on and off but this is probably the first time it's easy. It's not physically painful, like knives in my throat, or something I have to shove down and keep contained for fear of being rejected. It's happy crying.

Because that skin being shed - it wasn't mine either. I needed rest, I needed to soak in that goddamn water dish so I could get through all the scar tissue. So it's probably the strongest image I have in my mind of everything. Of who I am. My entire life.

If you're going through difficult shit in life, all I can say is - you're strong. You're strong as fuck. Strength isn't being able to get into a physical fight, or being super confident around people - it's enduring life and the chaos thrown at you. It's being able to be broken down and rebuild, just like the snake casts off skin for their new selves. You will endure things and be stronger for it, than those who have lived all their lives without any pain whatsoever.

But it could be better, I know. It doesn't justify the pain. But please listen to yourself. Listen to your body. If you need to be selfish? Be fucking selfish! Don't want to do that thing? Don't do it! If you know it is costing you, if it is adding to that scar tissue - stop. Take the time you need to reset, to regain your breath. Ask yourself who you are doing this for. Ask what skin you are wearing and whether that is something you want to keep. Shed it. Let go.

It will hurt, but this is just the beginning. Change feels like a broken bone. But it will heal.

#kerytalk #lesbian #lgbtq+#sorry this got real long and kind of spiritual at the end but yeah #this is I guess the culmination of 30 years of my life and a lot of pain #uh yeah that spn tattoo I provided was taken directly from that idea bank for my own tatt because I felt it fit #and it's a good message to carry I think

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thegoldfiles · 2 months

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I don't know too much about this case regarding Mobox87. However, as someone who used to enjoy Namy Gaga's FNAF AU until a couple of years ago and who is aware of most of her actions (through extensive research - this is outside of what you guys are covering), I thought I'd throw my hat into the discussion others have started about her.

Content warning for discussions of:

Abusive relationships (real and fictional)

Inappropriate NSFW

Transphobia and other forms of potential queerphobia

Online harassment

Some asks have mentioned that she dated a 16 year-old when she was in her early 20s (2019-2020). This is in fact true if you look at Namy's DeviantArt via the Wayback Machine archive (as well as some comments in a few old posts on her Facebook). This victim (now known as Evan since he came out as a trans man after cutting ties with her) experienced emotional and possibly other forms of abuse from Namy (if the interview conducted by an anonymous user is anything to go by). However, I am surprised by the fact that not enough people know about this: Evan wasn't the only victim. By this, I mean that Namy dated not one, but TWO teenagers when she was in her early 20s.

Soon after in 2020, Namy dated Mely (known as 'MelyButterfly' on DeviantArt and Facebook) until 2021 - Mely was also 16 at the time (she is going to be 20 later in April). As Mely stated in a couple of statements on her Facebook, she faced both emotional and sexual abuse from Namy, particularly the Namy coercing her to participate in a NSFW art/comic collab (which is especially concerning given Mely had opened up about how she was in another abusive online relationship when she was 13 in a Facebook post - contributing to her possible hypersexuality - that I haven't been able to find atm). In July 2023, Mely filed a lawsuit against Namy on the grounds of both the relationship AND Namy sexually harassing Mely online (particularly via Facebook comments) once it ended - note that the lawsuit is yet to be resolved. In response, Namy made multiple Facebook posts, a couple of videos and an awful google drive essentially victim-blaming Mely/Evan and twisting truths (and even Mexican laws) to make herself look better when it only makes her even more guilty (plus I'm pretty sure releasing 'evidence' that ends up supporting Mely's story is not going to help Namy's case against the lawsuit). She continues to lie to her audience about both victims, and I hope both Mely and Evan can heal from this.

Yes, I can confirm that the NSFW artwork condoning incest (e.g. Baby/Brenda and her adoptive mother Ballora/Roselle in her FNAF AU) and sexualising kids/teenagers (e.g. that one Owl House comic) is true. I feel it is important to mention that Namy not only posted such works on her Baraag, Rule 34 and SubscribeStar accounts, but also promoted and defended them on her Twitter (this was before she made two seperate accounts (NSFW and SFW) in response to backlash about exposing her teenage audience to her potentially dangerous NSFW). Not to mention her entertaining the idea of having an Only Fans on her twitter (accompanied by a cropped image of herself being topless), prior to the twitter changes (I wouldn't be against that idea specifically if it weren't for the fact that she potentially exposed teenagers to more NSFW content).

I should mention that Namy has used her identity as a Hispanic lesbian multiple times as a shield against criticism (e.g. when she was kicked out of a Welcome Home fangroup on Facebook in early 2023 - this was actually done because the group admin found out about the things I mentioned in my previous points). This behaviour is most apparent with regards to her controversies around LGBTQ+ topics. Regarding the transphobia, in November 2015 (when she was 17), she made a (possibly now deleted) tweet where she argued against gender-affirming surgery (i.e. "...una vez macho siempre macho", meaning "...once male, always male."), telling any trans/gender-diverse folk who have had surgery to get a refund and calling them the f-slur. Normally, I wouldn't bash someone for making these mistakes as a teenager as long as they grow from it. However, then there was the debacle with using the outdated version of the lesbian flag for one of her characters in her FNAF AU, her allegedly referring to trans women as "dude women" as a joke a few times, and recently tagging an NSFW piece featuring Poppy Partridge (a Welcome Home character who is canonically a trans woman) as 'futanari' (a hentai tag that many criticise for holding transphobic/interphobic*/fetishising sentiments - this should not to be confused with its more general use in describing androgyny among other things). (*It is seen as discriminatory against intersex folk as some definitions of 'futanari' use 'hermaphrodite', a now-derogatory term for intersex people.)

Continuing from this, she made a comic in 2018 where she was gatekeeping how LGBTQ+ people should explore themselves (which is still on her DeviantArt and she has not addressed this yet). Then there is the aphobic comment she made when answering questions about her SU and FNAF AUs on her twitter in (saying "As long as a character may be able to feel love, they have the right to have a partner." and that the "...the only obvious asexual is Bearnard [Toy Freddy]." - these are all translations btw), failing to consider that some ace people can and do have both romantic and sexual relationships (this is from someone who has a few friends on the ace spectrum). And less said about how Namy pairs Brenda/Baby discovering her bisexuality through sexual abuse from Scrap Baby (which is a thing that some LGBTQ+ people can and do unfortunately experience) with the incestuous relationship she later with her adoptive mother, the better.

Then there's Namy's harassment campaign against Ed00chan (creator of the FNAF AU, FNAFHS) in 2018 (?), claiming multiple times that her AU was better and drawing what was essentially a harassment piece depicting her with a few other FNAF artists (who most likely didn't consent to it themselves and most likely didn't agree with Namy's opinions). This harassment piece is still on her DeviantArt btw.

If you want more information about this woman, BioTex Raccoon did a series of four videos on YouTube. While not 100% perfect nor do I agree with all of the points (since I personally don't want to defend Riley Morningstar, an infamous art thief, a not-so trustworthy person and an incredibly vocal critic against Namy), they DO give some detailed insight into how volatile this woman is.

If you manage to read this all, thank you very much. All I want is for more people to know about this woman so no more people can be hurt or deceived by her.

Thanks for telling us this and sending this to us, we don't really know much about Namy but we've talked about her here from time to time

#mod cagney #ask #anonymous #anon #anon ask #asks #fnaf #namy gaga

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ninadove · 5 months

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Lukadrinette and Clemmy for the ship ask game !!!!

THANK YOU HEHE 💖

Lukadrinette ✅

1. What made you ship it?

Honestly? Migration! Pretty late to the party, I know. As someone who loves unconditional and overpowering devotion (romantic or platonic) between two characters, I don’t have many poly ships in general, and Wishmaker left a bad taste in my mouth. I did not want my boy Luka to constantly be the Love Square’s third wheel.

In that sense, Migration did the exact opposite of Perfection and Protection, which crushed the remnants of my interest in Adrigaminette beyond repair. It started off on the wrong (but admittedly hilarious) foot with the therapy session, and yet somehow by the end I could see Luka taking great care of these two idiots and being cared for in return. As far as I’m concerned, all three of them are in a long distance relationship by the end of the episode.

2. What are your favorite things about the ship?

Lukadrien

Seriously though. I think @paracosmicat said it best when they called Luka the Love Square’s grounding force. They need his quiet strength and kindness to not explode the fucking moon.

3. Is there an unpopular opinion you have on your ship?

Okay okay. Do not stab me.

… I think Lukadrinette could have been pretty toxic in S4, given the dynamics between the characters then, but that it is leagues healthier than Adrigaminette as of S5.

And yeah, I’m biased, obviously. It doesn’t change the fact that I am absolutely right.

NOW THAT I’VE BEEN CONTROVERSIAL ON MAIN. Let’s move on to my obscure ship, my beloved rarepair, the OTP amongst my OTPs.

CLEMMY ✅✅✅✅✅✅✅✅✅✅

1. What made you ship it?

The actual origin story is that I joined a Layton roleplay group wayyy back then, and picked up where their former Clive had left off. Keep in mind, I was just about to turn 14, which means Azran Legacy wasn’t even out yet.

AND THEN IT WAS. AND IT MADE EVERYTHING A BILLION TIMES BETTER.

2. What are your favorite things about the ship?

I absolutely love the parallels and contrasts between Clive and Emmy. Both are twist antagonists, both are redeemable, both deeply care for Hershel despite having betrayed him. One is a manipulator, while the other has been used her entire life. Most importantly, one accepted the consequences of his actions, while the other ran away.

There’s just so much potential here, and the fandom has been sleeping on it for over a decade.

AS MUCH AS I COMPLAIN ABOUT THE LACK OF FELIGAMI AND SENTICOUSINS CONTENT, THERE ARE 10+ TIMES MORE WORKS FOR THEM THAN FOR CLEMMY. I WROTE TWO OF THESE. I AM DYING SQUIRTLE.

Get on it, people. I’m saying that in your own interest. The Clemmy agenda will prevail anyway — you want to be on the right side of history when it does.

3. Is there an unpopular opinion you have on your ship?

Clive is bi, but doesn’t know it because he is also demi and as such did not have any crushes before meeting his future wife.

Emmy is pan. For some reason, non-lesbian Emmy seems to piss off fans beyond belief, even though there are no canon elements to hint either way. As a lesbian myself, I am perplexed.

Ask game here! 💙💛

#miraculous ladybug #marinette dupain cheng #adrien agreste #luka couffaine #lukadrinette #professor layton #clive dove #emmy altava #clemmy #ask games #tumblr asks #dragongutsixofficial 💖

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tuiyla · 1 year

Text

“Why isn’t Santana nicer after coming out”

Okay so I bring this up in the meta post I’m working on and I don’t want to hijack a post about Quinntana with just my issues on how the fandom perceives Santana so here goes, side note rant post.

As a Santana stan first human being second Gleek third, there are many many aspects of the larger fandom’s interpretation of Santana’s character that bother me. Unsurprisingly to anyone who’s talked to me for more than a second most of my issues come down to a gross misunderstanding of her inner turmoil and particularly all the mess surrounding IKAG. Santana spell it out in Sexy when she confesses her love for Brittany that she’s a bitch because she’s angry and she’s angry because she’s scared. Some people, even though it’s an excellent moment of self-reflection that could serve as a basis for understanding much of Santana’s character, still choose to get so close to the point and then miss it by about a mile.

I’m referring to the take that “Santana should have just been nicer when she was out.” I’ve witnessed legitimate confusion surrounding her behaviour post-outing (emphasis on outing) because people are shocked she’s still a bitch even after that, I suppose. Her anger and therefore her bitchiness was supposed to come from fears regarding her sexuality, so being out should solve all her problems and make her a nice person, right? I hope that writing it out like that makes people see the problem here. First off, obviously and most importantly but somehow still in a “needs to be said” way: Santana was outed. She didn’t come out, she was outed. She was terrified of what people would say if they knew she was a lesbian and then suddenly everyone knew, before she was ready. Shocking, I know, but for some reason that didn’t solve all her problems. Not to mention, being out came at the cost of being rejected by a close family member that undoubtedly shook her sense of self. That Santana continued to be angry “even after” having been outed shouldn’t be some big revelation. No shit she didn’t suddenly find enlightenment and inner peace upon being dragged out of the closet through an act of cruelty.

Second, coming out, even when one is outed as a lesbian to her whole state on television, is a process. Santana’s main source of fear wasn’t the process of coming out but the state of being perceived as the Other. She was terrified of being an outsider and judged for her sexuality and her fears are only proven right once the secret is out. That’s something she’ll carry for the rest of her life, even when she’s happily married and her relationship with her grandmother begins to mend. And that’s not to sound all bleak about queer existence because it doesn’t mean she’s doomed for a sad, angry life or anything, it just means that dealing with her deepest insecurities and fears is... a process. When we leave Santana as a newlywed, she’s around 21 years old. Honestly, it’d be a miracle if she had it all figured out by that point, particularly given her acute allergic reaction to vulnerability. Does she strike you as the kind of girl who willingly walks into therapy to sort out her misplaced feelings of anger? Didn’t think so.

Third, and this is two-fold, Santana is both considerably softer in the later seasons than she used to be and she’s also just never going to be a nice person, period. We could make it three-fold and point out that progress isn’t linear but let’s take it one step at a time. Santana is a kind person but not a nice one. From season 3B onwards and particularly in seasons 4 and 5 we see her forming deeper bonds with people other than Brittany and she even has a realization about using her bitch powers for good by the end of season 5. She has been using them for good ever since she first opened herself up to the possibility of letting people in and being her true self around them. So to me, complaining that Santana isn’t suddenly a ~much better person~ after being out is faulty on account of her does becoming a better friend and person as the show goes on. I think people’s problem is that she doesn’t become nice, but like I said that’s because she’s not. She just isn’t. In my ideal Glee future where Santana does get the help she needs and sorts out her emotional baggage, she becomes a much healthier adult capable of not sabotaging her friendships. But that still doesn’t make her nice. She will always have her signature snark and and she’ll always be ready to dish some insults out. Is that a good thing, that’s not the point here. The point is that she does become less cruel and more open to letting her kind heart actually show as the series goes on and still being rude to people doesn’t negate that.

I could go on, such as about the fact that Santana’s still a fictional character whose snappy one-liners and page-long takedowns are a part of her appeal. Glee wasn’t gonna stop utilizing Naya’s comedic delivery and turn Santana into a less recognizable version of herself, nor should they have. And like I say, nor should Santana’s continued prickly behaviour take away from the fact that she does soften as the show goes on. Then we have the issue of progress not being linear and faling back into old habits being perfectly realistic, and then we can also talk about how Santana’s issues go far beyond accepting her sexuality so it’d be unrealistic for her to drop her all defense mechanisms even if she becomes perfectly content sexuality-wise. She rightly identifies fears about being perceived and judged for her sexuality in Sexy and concludes that that’s why she’s angry and lashing out all the time, but it’s only a source of that. Although it’s a big part of her character and journey, it’d be wrong to reduce Santana just to her sexuality. That’s how you reach false conclusions like “oh she should have just been way nicer post-season 3,” because you ignore her general feelings of insecurity and how deep-seated this instinct to close off and lash out is.

I hope you’ve enjoyed this impromptu Santanalysis post, it’s been a while since I’ve written one not as a reply to an ask. Quinntana post coming soon, until then please remember to read way too much into a decade old silly Fox show and when someone misinterprets your faves, go get that shovel and start digging.

#glee #santana lopez #santanalysis #santana's anger #listen two- THREE things that piss me off re: bad readings of santana's ch #1) the outing 2) pretending she isn't a damn good friend 3) taking her word for things and refusing to look deeper #and felt it was about damn time i wrote this so thanks other essay i'm working on for giving an excuse

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eds6ngel · 11 months

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Hello dear! I have an idea about Robin, how she found out that the reader is bisexual! 💖💜💙

hi, my love! of course i can do this! as a bisexual woman myself, some of the description of this story hit home, so i hope you find comfort in it too <3

warnings: fem!reader. swearing. mentions of homophobia. mentions of religion. lesbophobic & homophobic language. coming out. hurt. comfort. fluff. kissing. childhood best friends to lovers [1.5k].

Falling in love wasn’t easy. It wasn’t the magical fairytale it was made out to be. But, not in the way that everyone else found. Most people had their normal fears: rejection, break-ups, cheating. But you? You had the added fear of being in a relationship with a woman in small town Indiana.

You heard the names, the stereotypes, the classic “You need Jesus,” Hawkins was one of the worst places to be gay.

At least in the big cities like New York, you could find small-knit communities, bars, hangout spots for fellow gay people, but Hawkins? You were left in the dark. Well, except for one person.

You had been best friends with Robin Buckley since childhood. The two of you met in English class in 2nd grade, forced to sit next to each other by the teacher’s annoyingly arranged seating plan. However, you soon became friends after realising how many interests you had in common.

And to this day, the last year of school, you were still as close as your seven year old selves.

Robin was an undeniably beautiful girl, one of the prettiest girls in Hawkins. You just thought that for many years, that was a test of close friendship. She had a stunning personality, gorgeous aura and was the kindest person you’d ever met, of course it was normal to also find her face beautiful, right?

But, apparently not. As you rambled about Robin to your other friends, they used to make jokes about how you were “acting like a lesbo,” or “becoming a queer.” And, although those terrible words that were not used nicely, perhaps they were right.

But, you knew you liked men too. Some of the guys at Hawkins High were gorgeous, you had dated a few of them for that matter, and although they all ended in break-ups, their gender never played a factor in that.

However, one day you were fortunate enough to stumble across the word “bisexuality” in one of the feminist books buried at the back of Hawkins Library.

“Romantic or sexual attraction to both males and females.”

It felt… right. Accurate. It felt like you.

From there on, your exploration went deeper. You didn’t want to just be friendly with Robin, you want to be romantic with her. Hold her, kiss her, love her. That’s what you wanted to do.

And fortunately, Robin had already told you her biggest secret, she exclusively liked women.

The reason Robin felt safe enough to tell you that she was a lesbian was because of a certain day spent at her house. Her mother had on one of the religious channels, the preacher rambling on about how being gay was a sin, and how all gay people are going to Hell. And you simply replied, “What a bunch of bullshit. It’s just two men or women in love, why is that such a big deal to them?”

And less than a week later, she had come out to you. Those two simple sentences stripped away any worries she ever had about her sexuality.

So, it was an automatic given that Robin would accept your sexuality, those worries were off the table. But, just because she’s into women, doesn’t mean she’s into you.

And that’s where you can connect with the general population. That fear of rejection. What if she didn’t see you that way? The soft touches, the closeness, the longing gazes, what if they were all platonic?

But, it was worth a shot, right?

Your picnic was long abandoned, paper plates of food sprawled across the checkered pink blanket as you and Robin lay flat on each end.

You were simply basking in the hot, breezy summer air, eyes closed as you breathed steadily. You talked when you wanted about whatever. There would be long moments of silence before ten minutes of talking about the latest delivery at Family Video.

But now, the conversation had taken a more serious turn.

“Did you see what was on the front page of the Hawkins Post the other day?” Robin asks.

“I don’t think so, I only read them if I pass by the local corner store,” you reply.

Robin sighs, a sense of sadness laced in her tone, “There was this candid shot of these two guys kissing. It was definitely taken from in the bushes or something, it was out in the woods. But—“ she takes a breath, “The headline said: ‘The Queers are plaguing Hawkins.’”

“Jesus fucking Christ,” you let out, your mouth becoming dry at the thought of the potentially life-threatening headline. “Please tell me they haven’t found out who it was.”

“Not that I know of,” Robin replies, “But, this is Hawkins. It’s only a matter of time, you know?”

You nod, knowing that she was right. This was a scary place to be different in any shape or form. Anything that went against God was deemed “Satanic.” But, even so, would God approve of their actions? At their hurtful words, their harmful behaviours?

“How do you cope with it?” you ask Robin, “Knowing that you’re a lesbian in a town that despises your pure existence?”

Robin sighs, “You just have to hide it. You know, Steve knows, and that’s it. Whoever you crush on, you just have to look for signs. Signs that they are into women. Which is almost never, but, you just try your best.” She takes a breath before continuing, “And then you have to basically build a friendship, build that trust so you know that if you do admit your crush to them and they are actually straight, they won’t spread your secret around.”

Her answer provided everything you needed to know, and all the pre-cautions she listed you didn’t have to worry about, because she was accepting, she was into women. You just had to pray that she reciprocates.

“Um… Robin?” you let out, her letting out a small hum as you ask, “Can I tell you something?”

“Of course. You’re my best friend, you can tell me anything.”

You sigh, sitting up from your laying down position, “Recently, I’ve been thinking about relationships, about who I like. As you know, most of my relationships haven’t ended well,” you chuckle softly, “But, maybe it’s because I haven’t… explored enough.”

Robin looks at you with confusion, following you in sitting up herself, knees tucked up to her chest. You exhale, “I found this book at Hawkins Library. It talked about sexuality, about different definitions and things, and… I found one, and I think it might define me.”

You can sense Robin’s face soften as you explain yourself, you know she knows what you are getting at. “Do you know what bisexuality is?”

Robin smiles, “Men and women, yeah, I know what it is.”

“Yeah, well… I think that’s what I am.”

Robin grins at you, her facial expression soft as she replies, “I’m so happy for you!” she beams, “I’m glad you’ve found yourself. That’s hard to realise living here, so I’m proud of you.”

You turn your gaze away from her, “There’s something else I want to say… I didn’t go searching for answers for no reason,” you start.

Robin’s face contorts back to that same confusion that she started with, “I was telling my friends about you, and they accused me of being… queer,” you frown at the word, “And I thought about it… and maybe they were right.”

“Are you saying you realised because of me?”

You nod, “Yeah, Robs,” you take a breath, “I like you. I like you a lot. And I know it’s probably wrong for me to assume that you like me back just because you like girls, like obviously you don’t like every woman and that’s actually really fucking offensive the more I think about it—“

But, you are cut off by a pair of lips on your own, the feeling of that soft, delicate skin of hers brushing your cheek that you love oh so much.

Robin quickly pulls back, beginning to ramble herself, “Sorry! I didn’t mean to cut you off, and definitely not in that way. I should’ve asked you permission first, like why didn’t I even think of that—“

However, you proceed to copy what she did to you, leaning forward and delicately taking her top lip in between yours, pushing her hair out of her face softly with your hand. As you part, you giggle as you stare up at her, a few inches between your faces, “You’re cute when you ramble, you know that?”

You can see Robin’s cheeks heat up at the compliment, her gaze avoiding yours as you lift her chin up towards you, “And when you blush.”

She smiles gently as she whispers out, “I like you too.”

You chuckle, “I’m glad to hear that,” before capturing your lips between hers once more. The pair of you cupping each other’s cheeks as you fall back against the picnic blanket, giggling like a pair of school children.

Maybe this is what life was worth living for. Falling in love with your best friend whilst kissing to your hearts content in the middle of a field of wheat. It may not be perfect for everyone, but it sure was for you.

thank you for the request! i really hope it was what you wanted <3

#robin buckley #robin buckley x reader #robin buckley x fem!reader #robin buckley x you #robin buckley hurt #robin buckley comfort #robin buckley fluff #robin buckley childhood friends to lovers #robin buckley friends to lovers #eds6ngel

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sisterdivinium · 1 year

Note

what do you think suzanne was like in her youth? she says she doesn't see herself as modern, but what do you think that means to her?

Those are interesting questions! As they require a little more imagination than I usually apply to my posts here, I'll ponder them one by one, even if they're interconnected. This will be long, of course, because it's about 💕❤️ Suzanne ❤️💕 my beloved.

1) On Suzanne's character in youth

The first solid clue we're given about what Suzanne used to be like comes from the conversation she holds with Duretti on Crimson, of course:

As much as Mother Superion ends by radically dissociating herself from Crimson in the similarity established by the cardinal, adding that the younger nun is "possibly sociopathic", she makes no effort to refute the adjectives of "aggressive" and "undisciplined" as applied to herself. She must, then, in some level recognise these traits as her own.

When we are treated to the flashback she has with Shannon in season two, confirmation on both characteristics is clear: a determined halo-bearing Suzanne eschews "Christian compassion" in slaughtering a gang of men without pity and without any real backup plan should her charging head-first into battle yield less than desirable results. She is aggressive and undisciplined, quite evidently.

Here is a little problem, though, because discipline is indispensable to obedience — and obedience is, of course, amongst the vows taken by those who enter monastic life.

This could nudge us towards seeing a certain rebelliousness in young Suzanne. Fitting in and taking orders from someone else might have been a challenge for her, as it always is for prideful people, even when those "superiors" have their respect.

Her tempestuousness seems, to me, to have manifested in another physical manner as well. Regardless of my own tiny sin of "headcanoning" her as a lesbian, there's the other side to this competent swordswoman — not the one in the heat of battle, getting up close to her enemies in order to slash them down, but in the proximity shared with her sisters, her body language and closeness to them.

Season one shows us a detached, distant Mother Superion who almost never directly touches the other women. In season two's flashback, however, our Warrior Nun Suzanne strokes Shannon's cheek before whatever halo trick she pulls in pressing down on Shannon's chest. There's an easy familiarity there, a confidence in breaching Shannon's personal space — an intimacy as well as the conviction to assert it. Whether this type of gesture was exclusive to Shannon or dispensed on the other nuns as well matters not so much as the fact that it happened and how it contrasts with the Mother Superion we know of the first season. I'd guess that young Suzanne wasn't all that keen on repressing the ways by which her body, then still wholly able, interacted with those of her sisters. Opening up to touch as she does throughout season two, slowly as it might be, might not be a novelty as much as a "coming home" for her, regaining some of her lost confidence in her very ability to love other women — or express it, rather. It wouldn't be far-fetched to assume that the guilt she felt for being a sinner encompassed more than just the grief of killing a mother...

Liberal closeness to other nuns alongside a lack of discipline mustn't have garnered her a great many favours in her time with the Church... So I suppose her combat skills, her sharp focus, and her devotion to the cause must have spoken louder than her blatant (cardinal sin of) pride when she rose to the position of halo-bearer.

And maybe, just maybe, the fact that there was someone to vouch for her played a part in it as well.

Mary had a mentor and a protector in father Vincent and I suspect something of their relationship might be mirrored in how young Suzanne might have sought guidance in an ambitious, younger father Francesco. They "go back many years", Vincent tries to sway a reticent Mother Superion by claiming Duretti used "her history" against her... It's possible that a young Suzanne, like Mary, would have depended on a man of the cloth to secure her place within the OCS even as her very personality at times clashed with the demands of the institution. Men who, for one reason or another, could help direct these young and ferocious women's energies towards a specific goal, give them a purpose. Needless to say both Suzanne and Mary seem to stay on board for the same reason, even if as Mother Superion Suzanne might have later repressed it: their sisters.

For all of Suzanne's cockiness, she does quite obviously do it all for them.

So to sum up my vision of young Suzanne and move on: I see her as a brash, somewhat rebellious girl in need of a cause through which to channel her passions and a speciality to prove herself to others (given how she is already so sure of her own value). As far as faith goes, she appears to have deposited it mostly in herself, which would account for a greater degree of godly devotion after losing the halo in order to expiate her sins. She's in this (always has been, even despite later shame and fear and concealment) for the women, most of all.

2) On what "modernity" might mean to Suzanne

In order to assess what modernity is, it's necessary to define the term it's contrasted with as well — we need to think of what tradition could mean for her.

And this is... Difficult. "The Church" isn't an easy way out; Duretti is part of the Church, a constant in her life, a guide... Yet Suzanne's words about needing "a more modern approach to the job" are very reminiscent of something Duretti himself had said back in that same season one scene:

There's a bit of a paradox here if we try to see things through her eyes.

Her need for "modernity" arises from another exchange with this same man. But can we say Duretti truly embodies tradition when here is a religious person who has no qualms about setting sister warriors to kill a girl who accidentally has the halo? (Well, perhaps so, given how the Catholic church is stained with terrible actions...) Suzanne might not know about the torture chamber in the Vatican, but she did help save Ava in the catacombs from the OCS rejects under his orders. She is perfectly aware of how violent he can be.

Perhaps that is in itself a part of her wanting to break out; we can't ignore the fact that the above screen captures show us his line of dialogue ending while we see a take of Beatrice offering a hand to Crimson — showing her the opposite of the ruthlessness Duretti and Crimson carry.

It's also peculiar how she mentions modernity while inside a library or archive, the very home of history and tradition. Are these the "old teachings"? This unending amount of precepts all around, gathered with the passing ages?

We wouldn't do well to argue that the blood-soaked books recounting the past or the violent strategies of Duretti are necessarily what trouble her seeing as she is still a warrior currently at war; Suzanne isn't exactly a pacifist.

However, the phone call that originates the "modern" comment is a failed attempt on her part to get Duretti to act, to take a first and definite step against Adriel — to enter the fray, as young Suzanne probably would have already.

He beckons her to "have faith in God" — and perhaps that is the issue, the "old teaching" she feels insufficient and which, examining her (possible) past as in the first part of this very long answer, was never enough for her to begin with. Heeding the words of men, believing in God... And what does that amount to shortly after they hang up? She couldn't predict the future, but she saw something wrong with the method — and the intuition proved right.

I can't tell precisely what her "modernity" entails since I cannot pinpoint "tradition" either; they seem a bit intertwined. It's tempting to say Jillian fills the role of providing the "newness" through her technology, but it isn't as if Mother Superion were a luddite: she's using a smartphone and a computer just fine, if perhaps not as modernly as Camila and her TikTok. She is not an "outdated" person. We could assume that this "modern approach" has less to do with the instruments and more with perspective, with priorities, guiding principles... On a superficial level, it's about coming out from under Duretti's wing — from Church structure's shadow, from the patriarch's rule, from following someone else's lead.

And that, funnily enough, assuming this post is in any way correct in its hypothesising, would lead us right back to our rebel from youth, if hopefully with more wisdom to guide her steps this time around.

Season three would have allowed us to see Suzanne be without the anchor of Duretti (as season two could have let us see Mary away from Vincent) and maybe elucidate the matter... But, as it is, I think this is as much as I can surmise with what we've been given!

#warrior nun #mother superion #halobearerhavoc #i am sorry for taking this long but you indulge me in my suzanne obsession so i must Write A Lot lol #analysis and similar #exercises in observation #not even gonna talk much in these tags because i've said enough!!!#correspondence

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isobelleposts · 2 years

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5 Sapphic Films to Watch This Pride Month

Carol (2015) directed by Todd Haynes

Films and entertainment remain to be one of the most important platforms for the representation of minorities including the LGBTQIA+ community. Although discrimination has more or less ceased as time passed on since the times of the Stonewall riots in 1969, misunderstandings and hate crimes continue in our modern-day society, and films have served as a source of hope and acceptance for many people. Hence, here are five films that you may watch to feel understood, comforted, and accepted:

Directed by William Wyler

The Children’s Hour (1961)

Starring Audrey Hepburn and Shirley MacLaine, ‘The Children’s Hour’ shows how much change could happen in your life due to even the slightest rumor of being gay or lesbian. Considering the time this movie was released which was in 1961 before the community was given rights, I could only imagine the amount of impact it could have given someone out there to hear Audrey Hepburn say:

You’re guilty of nothing!

This film clearly depicts the guilt that one feels for being so-called different or irregular from others for finding themselves capable of loving the same sex just as any other person deserves to be loved. This was one of the most heartbreaking endings I've witnessed in cinema, and I may follow up with a separate review for it.

Directed by Daniel Kwan, Daniel Scheinert

Everything Everywhere All at Once (2022)

This film has got to be one of my favorite watches of this year. Not only was it able to take my late-night thoughts about the world and visualize them on screen, but it was also able to depict the hard relationships most kids have with their parents whether Asian, gay, or not.

I’m tired. I don’t want to hurt anymore and for some reason when I’m with you it just hurts the both of us.

It’s hard wanting to love someone that doesn’t accept you for who you are or constantly points out your flaws and denies the person you’ve become, and ‘Everything Everywhere All at Once’ is an action-packed film that makes you ponder more on that thought and how the world cycles around each individual.

Directed by Sammi Cohen

Crush (2022)

For quite a while now, people have been pleading for a queer film wherein homophobia isn’t the main conflict, and finally, released in the second quarter of this year, ‘Crush’ delivers the people’s desires. Although it is important to spread the realities of queerness and the harassment the community faces, it is sometimes alienating to only witness films that include the same plot of coming out and not being accepted by the people you love most.

'Crush' is set in a world wherein not only are the main characters queer but so are the background or irrelevant characters. It is written just like any other rom-com out there featuring a man and a woman and feeds more into the fact that queerness is normal.

Directed by Park Chan-wook

The Handmaiden (2016)

‘The Handmaiden’ sits at the top of my favorite films of all time, in general, and is because of the plentiful amount of plot twists that had me gaping my mouth and gasping unlike any other film has caused me to do before. This film made by the acclaimed director Park Chan-wook is less of a comforting but rather suspenseful film, and what I love most about it is that he managed to create a story centered around a same-sex love trope without having it be the only and complete plot.

If I were asked what movie I would choose to watch for the first time ever once again, my choice would be 'The Hanmaiden' with no hesitation.

Directed by Céline Sciamma

Portrait of a Lady on Fire (2019)

‘Portrait of a Lady on Fire’ is an Academy award-winning film wherein we witness the loss two people have at freely expressing their love for each other through a beautifully written and directed cinematic sequence. Set in the 1700s wherein their relationship could never have been successful with the lives they wanted to live, we are left to only imagine what could have been if Héloïse and Marianne lived in a different time or if one of them had been a man.

This film allows you to realize the amount of privilege straight people have to be able to love however and whoever they want to, while the LGBTQ+ community is almost forced to keep half of their lives unlived, especially in the prior years of history.

(Click HERE for Writing Commissions)

by Isobelle Cruz, 07/06/2022

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cupcakesandteawrites · 10 months

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“Hi, my name’s Chrissy.” A small blond girl said as she walked into the dorm room Robin was in, unpacking her own things onto her own side of the room.

"I'm Robin. Can I take this side, seeing as I'm already here?" She asked.

"Sure! Makes no difference to me." Chrissy answered. "Errmm I heard them saying something about a floor orientation in a couple hours as I was walking in by the way" she added.

"Oh yeah, I remember hearing about that but thank you anyway." Robin smiled at her.

The girls made idle chitchat until it was time to head to orientation. They walked to it together and sat together whilst a teacher talked them through the rules around being in each other's rooms and what time they had to be on the building for and what time they had to be in their room by. They were also given timetables for the coming week of orientation for the rest of the school.

As the week went on the girls realised that they had a lot of the same classes and lunch times. Not every class but most of them they shared. They spent any free periods during that first week wandering around the grounds exploring the parts they hadn’t yet been shown.

The end of the first week came quickly and the two girls were already very close. Robin had tried to avoid all talk of relationships or love interests and Chrissy seemed perfectly content to not talk about them either, just mentioning an ex called Jason everynow and then. On Friday morning it was slightly cooler than on the other days and a jacket was needed to walk around. On Chrissy’s jacket Robin noticed there was a little pin in the Bisexual colours.

“Erm, not to like make this a big thing or anything, and please tell me to shut up if i'm overstepping, because I really don't want to do that but ermmmm”

“Robin, what's the matter? What do you want to ask me?” Chrissy interrupted, already used to Robin’s rambling when she was nervous.

“Your badge.” Robin said, pointing at the lapel on Chrissy’s jacket. “Are the colours meant to be like the bisexual flag or is that a coincidence?”

“Yeah, they are. I’m bi, I’ve not wanted to say anything because I didn't want to make anything weird between us. I really like you, like as a person, so I didn't want to potentially ruin that.” Chrissy replied.

“As a lesbian it would be pretty hypocritical for me to be against you being bi really, other than men, ewww.” Robin giggled.

“Urg i know right” Chrissy laughed back. “Shall we head to breakfast? I’ll grab coffee if you grab pancakes?”

“Sure!” Robin said, grabbing her bag and following Chrissy out of the door.

Chrissy grabbed coffee, made just right as she had done the last couple of mornings, and Robin piled a plate up with pancakes and grabbed two further plates as well as syrups that would be needed.

They sat and ate breakfast and chatted about how they felt the first week had gone and how they thought they may enjoy being there when classes started up.

“Do you want to watch a movie together on my laptop tonight?” Robin asked shyly as they walked to class.

“Sure, sounds fun” Chrissy replied, sounding just as shy. “Anyway this is me, see you for lunch?”

“Yeah, see you at lunch, have a good morning,” Robin said, continuing to walk to her class.

Chrissy and Robin met up for lunch before having separate schedules for the afternoon. They always ate together, something they had done since the very first day. Something they both hoped would continue the whole time they were at school together.

After their evening meal they headed back to their room.

“What shall we watch?” Robin asked.

“Ok, so don’t judge me but I’ve been wanting to watch Emperors New Groove for so long! Can we?” Chrissy replied, her cheeks flushing as she did so.

“Of course we can. Let me find it and we can watch it.” Robin smiled.

Robin found the film and Chrissy rounded up all the pillows and blankets ready for getting comfy and watching.

They sat close on Robin's bed and both ended up under the same duvet and sat touching arms.

After the first film they watched the first Iron Man movie and both became very sleepy during it.

Robin opened her eyes slowly, aware very quickly that she wasn’t in her bed alone. Light was streaming in through the window. They had forgotten to close the curtains last night apparently.

Looking straight ahead all she could see was a mass of strawberry blonde hair. Oh shit. Chrissy had slept in her bed!

“Mmm morning” came a very sleepy voice from beside her. Then a much more awake “Oh,”

#fanfic #ficlet #au fic #au gust #au gust 2023 #steve harrington #chrissy x robin #robin x chrissy #robin buckley #chrissy cunningham #buckingham ficlet #buckingham

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