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bossbtch1 · 7 months

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Against All Odds

The GIF is not mine; credit goes to the respective artist/creator.

Summary : You recently joined the Avengers, and everyone has accepted you except for Bucky. Now, the challenge lies in proving him wrong, but can you succeed changing his mind and earn his trust? Or do you have to do more to earn it? (geez, I’m suck at this)

Pairing : Bucky Barnes x Reader (No mentions of body type or ethnicity other than the reader being female)

TW: SMUT, 18+, strong language, enemies-to-lovers-ish, oral (m receiving), rough sex, dirty talk, unprotected sex, degradation (slut calling), slight choking, orgasm denial

Word Count: Around 10k (I know it's a bit long, I got carried away. Sorry) → smut is like 4k hehe

Author's Note: This is my first attempt at writing a story, and it’s a smut one at that. English isn't my first language, so apologies for any mistakes or bad grammar. I hope you still enjoy the story!

Part 1, Part 2 , Part 3

If you like my story, please go check out my other stories here

These are the aesthetic for part 1 (solely for visual representation of what going to happen on the story, this meant no representation for body type or ethnicity)

You've always been a dependable agent ever since you were young, someone who could handle the toughest missions without letting your emotions get in the way. Nick Fury spotted your potential when you were just a kid, taking you under his wing. It was his belief in you that kept you going, and it all led to the thrilling moment when he thought it was time for you to join the Avengers. After all those years of hard work, it felt like a dream come true.

Then came your first day with the team. You'd just joined, and they wanted to see how good you were in a fight. You almost beat Natasha in a really intense battle, proving to everyone that you totally belonged with the Avengers. Your determination to show your worth never wavered. But there was this one guy, Bucky Barnes, who just couldn't seem to trust you no matter what.

On your first day with the Avengers, the training room buzzed with anticipation as you faced off against Natasha Romanoff, Black Widow. It was a test of your combat skills, a way to see if you had what it took to be part of Earth's mightiest heroes. The desire to become one of them, although it might sound cliché and cringey, burned within you.

The Avengers, including Nick Fury, Captain America, Iron Man, Winter Soldier, Hawkeye and Thor, watched from up above, all curious and eager to see how you'd do. Their faces showed they were rooting for you.

However, as you glanced upward to catch your breath, your eyes locked onto Bucky Barnes. He stood there, solitary and stern, arms crossed over his chest. His intense gaze bore into you, but unlike the other Avengers, his expression was far from encouraging. There was a deep skepticism in his eyes, a doubt that seemed unshakable, and it cast a shadow over your determination to prove yourself to the team.

Natasha, dressed in her familiar black outfit, gave you a serious look that made you stop staring up. When she spoke, you turned your attention to her. "Think you've got this, newbie?" she teased, a touch of amusement in her voice.

You took a deep breath, trying to steady your nerves. This was your moment to prove yourself, and there was no turning back. The weight of your new Avengers uniform felt both exhilarating and nerve-wracking. "I'm ready, Natasha.", you responded with determination. You weren't going to back down now.

Natasha grinned. "We'll see about that."

The two of you circled each other, and then, without warning, Natasha lunged at you with lightning speed. Her attack was quick and precise, but you were able to block it, thanks to your training. As the two of you sparred, the crowd cheered and shouted their support. It was a battle of wits and willpower, and neither of you was willing to give up.

"You're good," Natasha admitted, her voice dripping with genuine admiration. "But let's see how you handle this." With a fluid motion, she unleashed a series of acrobatic moves, flipping and twisting through the air before landing gracefully behind you.

You spun around to face her, sweat beading on your forehead. "Impressive, but I'm not done yet."

The fight continued, and you pushed yourself to keep up with Natasha's relentless assault. Your training and instincts kicked in, and you began to hold your own. It was a back-and-forth battle, each of you landing hits and dodging the other's attacks.

But Natasha was more experienced than you, and eventually, she managed to overpower you. She had you pinned to the ground, her face inches away from yours. You struggled against her grip, but she held you firmly in place. "Had enough?" she asked, raising an eyebrow.

Gritting your teeth, you mustered all the determination you had left. "Not a chance," you replied, refusing to admit defeat.

The crowd went wild as Natasha delivered the final blow, knocking you out. She stood there, victorious, a small smile playing on her lips acknowledging your impressive performance. "Good fight," she said, extending a hand to help you up.

You accepted her hand, "Thanks, Natasha. You're incredible."

The room erupted in applause, and everyone from the observation deck descended to congratulate you. Fury, wearing a proud smile, gave you a warm hug. "Well done, Y/N. You're officially part of the team," he declared, his words filled with pride. He whispered, "I'm proud of you, Y/N," and it meant the world to you.

But amid the celebration with your new teammates, there was one person who didn't seem as thrilled. James "Bucky" Barnes, the Winter Soldier, stood in a quiet corner of the room, his expression inscrutable.

You had felt his presence throughout the entire match, his intense gaze sending shivers down your spine. Bucky's gaze lingered on you for a moment longer, then he turned and left the room, leaving you feeling more confused than ever.

Bucky went out of his way to undermine your confidence, pushing you to the brink of quitting time and time again. His words still fresh in your mind. "I don't think you're cut out for this, kid. This isn't a game. It's a matter of life and death. You’re not ready for this."

It hurt. You didn't understand why he was so determined to bring you down. What had you done to make him dislike you so much? Despite Bucky's relentless doubts, you refused to back down. You were determined to earn his respect, just as you had with the rest of the team.

So, every day, you trained harder, pushed yourself further, and proved your worth on every mission. Your hope was that one day, Bucky would finally see you for the capable agent you truly were and put his doubts to rest once and for all.

One day, as you were making your way to the gym, the sound of voices caught your attention. It was Bucky and Steve, engaged in a hushed conversation that seemed to revolve around you. Curiosity piqued, you tried to maintain a discreet distance, keen on hearing what they were saying. You knew it was wrong to eavesdrop, but you couldn't help yourself.

"Buck, I think you're being too hard on her. She's a good fighter and she's eager to learn," Steve argued.

Bucky's skepticism remained unshaken. "I'm just trying to watch out for the team. She's a liability, not ready for this kind of responsibility."

Steve being the optimist pushed back gently, his support for you evident in his tone. "I think you're the only one who feels that way."

Bucky's voice grew firmer as he explained his perspective. "She's only here 'cause Nick Fury vouched for her. There are others who deserve this chance more. I could name a couple who'd fit better on this team than her."

His words hit you like a punch to the gut, casting doubt on your worthiness. It was difficult to hear that the person you looked up to and wanted to prove yourself to was actually against you, even though Bucky's argument was valid.

You couldn't help but question if your acceptance into the Avengers was indeed solely because of Fury. You had always believed that your spot on the Avengers was earned through your skills and dedication. Bucky's doubts made you second-guess if you had truly earned your place.

"Buck, there's more to it than that," Steve replied, his voice steady. "Just be patient with her."

Unable to endure the conversation any longer, your heart felt heavy as you turned away, doing your best to conceal the hurt that washed over your face. With resolve, you changed your course and headed towards the field track, hoping a run would help clear your mind.

Later, as the sun set on the horizon, you were still out running laps. Your thoughts were racing, and your body was aching, but you couldn't bring yourself to stop.

"You're gonna wear yourself out if you keep pushing like that."

You jumped, startled by the sudden voice. Looking over your shoulder, you saw Bucky standing a few feet away, his arms crossed.

Caught off guard, you tried to put on a brave face. "I'm okay," you lied, attempting to hide the pain that was clearly etched on your face. Stopping abruptly had caused your feet to throb with discomfort.

Bucky, however, wasn't buying your façade. He narrowed his eyes, his concern deepening. "You're not. You're hurt."

In response, you shook your head stubbornly, your pride urging you to push through the pain. "I'll manage," you insisted, even though every step sent a sharp twinge through your feet.

Bucky's gaze remained sharp and unwavering. "You're not fooling anyone with that."

Deep down, you knew he was right. The pain was becoming harder to ignore, and your stubbornness could only take you so far. But in that moment, you weren't quite ready to admit defeat or show weakness, especially not to someone like Bucky.

Bucky took a step closer, his expression resolute. "Come on, we're heading inside," he stated, his tone leaving no room for argument.

“I'm okay, I can-." You began to protest, but he interrupted you firmly, "Y/N, enough. This is an order. You're only making my job more difficult by trying to tough it out. Let's go, and I don't want to hear another word from you."

Reluctantly, you fell silent and went along with Bucky, allowing him to guide you back to the facility. As you walked, you couldn't help but mull over his earlier words, "You're making my job harder by trying to tough it out." It left you wondering why he cared or felt responsible for you, especially when you believed he disliked you.

Once inside, Bucky seated you and fetched a glass of water. Taking a sip, you felt a wave of relief as it helped ease some of your fatigue. Then, without uttering a word, Bucky briefly stepped away, returning in less than a minute with bandages and medicine in hand.

Your curiosity got the best of you, and you couldn't resist asking, "What's all that for?" Your eyes were drawn to the medical supplies.

"Take off your shoes and socks," Bucky directed, his tone brooking no dissent.

"I don't think I need..." You began to protest, but a quick glance at Bucky's determined face made it clear that there was no room for discussion.

Letting out a sigh, you gave in and removed your shoes and socks. What you saw shocked you: your feet were in a terrible state, bleeding and covered with painful blisters, a clear result of your overly enthusiastic run.

You heard Bucky mutter a curse under his breath as he knelt down in front of you. "Bucky, seriously, I can handle it," you tried to protest, but he wasn't having any of it.

"Just stay put and let me take care of this." His voice was firm, and he got to work tending to your battered feet. Gently, he placed your feet on his lap, starting to clean the cuts on your soles. You winced slightly as the sting of the alcohol met the open wounds.

While he busied himself tending to your injuries, you found your gaze drifting to him. Bucky was undeniably handsome and hot, you couldn't help but appreciate his appearance. As your eyes met his, he suddenly looked up at you.

"Got something on your mind?" he asked, his expression as enigmatic as ever.

You blinked, realizing that you'd been staring. Heat crept into your cheeks as you stammered, "I, uh, have an issue with my shoes." You finally managed to say, though it wasn't exactly the eloquent response you'd hoped for.

Bucky, his expression unamused, retorted, "Well, that's clear." After he finished bandaging your wounds, he added, "But there's more to it than just your shoes."

"You can't be out here, pushing yourself so hard if you're going to injure yourself. This isn't a game. You must take care of yourself. You can't expect to get the full experience if you're going to hurt yourself." His words were harsh, but they were true.

"I know," you admitted with a sigh, guilt gnawing at you. "I just got caught up and lost track of time. It's not that bad."

Bucky raised an eyebrow, unimpressed. "Not that bad?" He challenged you. "Then stand up. Let's see how not that bad it really is."

Your cheeks burned. You could already feel the ache in your legs and the throbbing pain in your feet. But you refused to show any weakness. Not now. Not in front of him.

"Fine." With a determined look, you pushed yourself up from the chair, wincing as you put weight on your injured soles. Your feet stung, and your muscles were sore, but you gritted your teeth and pushed through it.

Bucky couldn't help but scoff, clearly frustrated with your stubbornness and tendency to challenge him. "You want to be part of this team, right?"

You nodded, your determination unwavering despite the discomfort. "Yeah, I do.”

"Then you need to stop being reckless and start acting like an Avenger. We can't afford to have someone on our team who's too stubborn to admit when they're injured. It's only gonna make things worse." he said firmly, taking a step closer to you. "Maybe you could start by, I don't know, following orders and not talking back every chance you get."

The harshness in his words took you by surprise, but they also cut deep. Because you knew he was right.

With that he left the room, leaving you behind to wallow in shame. You knew he was right. But it hurt, especially coming from him.

Weeks later, you received the news that you'd be joining the team on your very first mission. The excitement bubbled up inside you as you geared up for the assignment. But as the mission unfolded, things took a turn for the worse.

You spotted a group of enemies heading for a crowded area and impulsively decided to engage them without waiting for the team's signal or support. Your intentions were to protect the civilians, but your recklessness got the best of you. Your impulsive move led to a chaotic firefight, and in the midst of the chaos, a civilian stumbled into the line of fire, narrowly escaping harm.

Bucky, who had been keeping an eye on you, witnessed the entire sequence of events unfold. His anger and frustration boiled over as he watched you put not only yourself but also innocent bystanders in danger.

Inside the quinjet, as the mission concluded, he couldn't contain his fury any longer. "What the fuck was that, Y/N?!" he erupted, his voice echoing in the confined space.

"I'm sorry," you whispered, feeling an overwhelming sense of shame and regret.

"Sorry isn't good enough!" Bucky snapped, his intense gaze burning into you. You couldn't bear to meet his eyes, and instead, you cast your gaze downward, your hands trembling with the weight of your mistake.

"If you're gonna keep making mistakes like that, then maybe you don't belong on this team. You could've gotten someone killed back there." His words stung, but he was right.

Natasha stepped in to defend you, "Bucky, it was an accident, and it was her first mission. Everyone makes mistake.”

Bucky didn't back down. "Yeah, and accidents can cost lives, Nat. She need to be more careful," he retorted, glaring back at you. "You can't afford to be an idiot like that out there. What the fuck is wrong with you?" He yelled, his anger getting the best of him.

Clint said, "Hey! Enough. She's done enough of a beating already, I know she can do better next time."

"There might not be a next time," Bucky grumbled.

Confusion and worry welled up inside you. 'What do you mean by that?' you wondered silently, unable to find your voice.

Bucky's frustration boiled over as he remarked, "Maybe she should think twice about putting others at risk if she can't handle it."

You turned your gaze away, determined not to let the tears fall. Tony took charge of the situation, his voice steady and reassuring. "Alright, that's enough," Tony declared firmly. "We're all on edge right now after what happened. We all know she can do better, and we'll address it later. For now, let's just concentrate on getting back home."

The rest of the ride was filled with tension, Bucky's glare never leaving you as you tried your best to avoid his gaze.

Wanda noticed your discomfort and moved over to sit next to you. She placed a reassuring hand on your shoulder and asked gently, "How are you holding up?"

You appreciated Wanda's concern and gave her a small, grateful smile. "I'll be okay," you replied softly. "Just need some time to process everything. I guess I'm just a little overwhelmed."

Wanda patted your shoulder again, offering more comfort. "Mistakes are part of learning, especially on your first mission. Remember, the key is to learn from them and get better. Don't let Bucky's words get to you too much."

You let out a weary sigh, realizing the truth in her words. "Yeah, I know.”

The quinjet touched down on the landing pad, and a sense of relief washed over you as you realized you were finally back home. This was it. You were finally home. "We'll talk later, okay?" Wanda asked, giving you a sympathetic smile.

You nodded appreciatively at her and quickly made your way to your room. You wanted nothing more than to lock yourself away and forget the whole thing ever happened. But the guilt and shame were too much to bear.

About a month after the incident, news of another mission started to circulate rapidly around the Avengers' headquarters. The buzz of excitement and anticipation filled the air, and you couldn't help but feel a rush of emotions—both excitement and anxiety. This mission was your chance to redeem yourself after the missteps on your first assignment.

Determined to discuss your readiness for this new mission, you sought out Steve. As you approached his office, you noticed him engrossed in reading some files. You gently knocked on the open door.

"Hi Steve, may I come in?" you asked politely.

Steve looked up from the files and offered you a welcoming smile. He promptly closed the documents and gestured for you to enter. "Of course, come in Y/N." You stepped into his office, and he continued, "How are you doing, by the way?" Steve motioned for you to take a seat, showing genuine concern.

You settled into the chair across from him and fidgeted with your fingers, trying to find the right words. "I'm good, better than what happened last time..." You paused, your voice tinged with regret. "I'm sorry about last time..."

Steve's warm smile remained reassuring. "Hey, Y/N, that's okay. We all make mistakes," he said with a reassuring tone, "Don't beat yourself up too much about it, okay?" His kindness and understanding were a comfort, making you feel grateful for his leadership and support.

"So, what brings you here?" Steve asked with a welcoming smile.

You shifted uncomfortably in your seat. "I heard there's another mission in 2 days..." After a pause, you continued, "But I haven't received the assignment or briefing for it..."

Steve's friendly expression faltered, and he sighed. "Y/N, about that..." He looked genuinely conflicted. "We already have teams assigned to cover that mission. You don't need to worry about it."

Your heart sank, and you couldn't help but feel a pang of disappointment. It was becoming increasingly clear that you were being sidelined. "Is this because of what happened on the last mission?" You finally voiced your concern, your tone a mix of frustration and hurt.

Steve must've noticed the change in your tone. "Y/N, there'll be plenty of missions, and you'll definitely join the next one, okay?"

You took a deep breath and forced a smile, masking the pain that was gnawing at you. "Ah, okay, Steve." You chuckled, though it felt forced. "That's alright, I was just curious.”

Steve smiled weakly, but you could tell he understood your disappointment. "Y/N..."

You got up from the seat, disappointment heavy in your chest. You knew this was likely Bucky's doing. "Thank you, Captain, for the information. Good luck on the mission!" With that, you turned and left the room, trying to hide your frustration and disappointment.

As everyone prepared to leave for the mission, they bid you farewell, their expressions filled with sympathy. You knew they felt sorry for leaving you behind in the tower. Watching them depart filled you with a profound sense of sadness, knowing you couldn't join them.

You returned to your room, aimlessly flipping through the channels on the TV, but nothing captured your interest. Your mind kept wandering back to the missed opportunity, and the guilt and frustration gnawed at you.

After a futile attempt at watching TV, you tried to occupy yourself with a book, but the words on the pages blurred together as your thoughts remained fixated on the mission. With a sigh, you put the book down, realizing you were too distracted to read.

Restlessly, you paced around your room, contemplating various ways to improve your skills and prove that you were a valuable member of the team. Maybe you could spend some time in the training room or review combat strategies. You knew you had to keep pushing yourself to become better.

Eventually, you settled on the idea of practicing your marksmanship in the training room. Grabbing your gear, you headed there with determination in your step, determined to make the most of your time while the team was away on the mission.

Inside the gym, you started with some intense punching and kicking exercises. It felt great to release your anger, sadness, and disappointment through physical exertion. As you pummeled the sandbag, you couldn't help but imagine it as Bucky's face, channeling your frustration and resentment into each punch and kick. You unleashed your emotions on the inanimate object, giving it your all to cope with the overwhelming mix of feelings inside you.

Sweat dripped down your face, mixing with the occasional tear, but you didn't let up. You wiped away the sweat and tears from your face. "What" punch "Do" punch "I" kick "Have" punch "To" kick "Do" punch "To" punch "Prove" punch "To" punch "You" kick "That" kick "I'm" punch "Just" kick "As" kick "Good" kick "As" punch "Them" punch kick punch kick.

Why were you treated this way? What had you done to earn Bucky's disdain? How could you prove your worth to him? Frustration boiled inside you, reaching its peak as you let out a guttural scream, causing the sandbag to plummet from the force of your final blow.

Panting, you collapsed on the gym floor, you were exhausted and emotionally drained, but you felt a strange sense of relief. You clenched and unclenching your fists. You flexed your fingers and winced as the pain shot through them.

You chose to ignore the pain and you slowly got up from the gym floor. You knew you had pushed yourself too hard, but it was the only way you could vent your frustration and anger.

Limping, you made your way towards the bench where you had left your belongings. The room felt heavy with the echo of your pounding. Your trembling hand found the familiar coolness of your water bottle, and you clutched it tightly, taking a long, refreshing gulp. The cool liquid soothed your parched throat.

Just as you were catching your breath, Bucky unexpectedly strolled into the room. His presence surprised you, you hadn't expected anyone else to be there, especially not him.

His gaze, sharp and perceptive, honed in on your movements, "Still trying to prove yourself, huh?" he remarked, his words hanging in the air like a challenge, his tone laced with doubt.

You met his gaze defiantly, refusing to back down even in the face of his skepticism. "I don't need to prove anything to anyone, including you," you replied, your voice steady despite the ache in your body. "I'm just making sure I'm ready for whatever comes our way. Maybe you should worry less about what I'm doing and more about why you're not on the mission with the rest of the team."

Bucky's expression remained inscrutable, his indifference a stark contrast to your determination. He nonchalantly shrugged, an aloof response to your pointed words.

Letting out an exasperated sigh, you couldn't help but roll your eyes, your frustration with him boiling over. "Whatever, Barnes. Keep your doubts to yourself."

You began packing up your belongings, a clear signal that you were ready to depart from his presence. You suspected he was still watching you, his intense gaze never wavering, but you wanted nothing more than to distance yourself from him. It felt like he was deliberately keeping you from the mission, and the resentment simmered within you.

After finishing packing, you headed towards the exit, but Bucky halted you by grabbing your hand. You turned around, irritation clear in your eyes. "What do you want, Barnes?" you snapped, trying to pull your hand away. “What the hell? Let me go!”

Ignoring your protest, he led you back to the training area, placing you in front of him. An uneasy feeling settled in your stomach. Did he intend to spar with you? The uncertainty hung heavily in the air, making the atmosphere tense.

You stood your ground, your nervousness growing with every passing second. "What? Scared?" Bucky teased, a mocking smirk playing on his lips.

You resisted the urge to roll your eyes, refusing to let his taunts unnerve you. You managed a fake smile and replied, "Of you? No. Why would I be?" Determined not to show any fear.

Bucky's smirk widened as he said, "Well, you should be." He locked eyes with you and asked, "Ready?" The challenge in his tone was clear.

You took another deep breath, squared your shoulders, and met his gaze head-on. "Alright, Bucky. I'm game. What's the plan?" Your voice remained steady, even as your nerves continued to buzz beneath the surface.

Bucky's lips curved into a smirk. He motioned towards the training mats, his movements smooth and practiced. "Just try to land a hit on me."

Without a moment's warning, he lunged at you, his attack swift and precise. You barely managed to block it in time, the impact sending a jolt through your arms.

Taking a moment to catch your breath, you felt a sting to your pride. "Just one hit?" you questioned, a mixture of disbelief and defiance in your voice. Did he genuinely doubt your abilities? Determination flared in your eyes as you prepared to prove him wrong.

He chuckled, a mischievous glint in his eye. "Don't get ahead of yourself, doll. Come on, you're starting to bore me." You gritted your teeth and launched into your counterattack.

The atmosphere in the training room grew tense as you continued your attempts to land a hit on Bucky. Each time you launched an attack, he seemed to anticipate your every move, effortlessly blocking your punches and kicks. It was as if he had an innate ability to read your intentions, and it left you feeling frustrated and somewhat helpless.

With each failed attempt, Bucky's smirk grew wider, and he let out a low chuckle. "Come on, Y/N," he taunted, his tone dripping with playful mockery. "You've got to do better than that if you want to stand a chance."

His words stung, and they fueled your determination. You were well aware that Bucky was pushing your buttons, trying to rile you up, but you refused to let it show. You had a point to prove, not only to him but to yourself as well.

You decided to take another shot, launching into a new round of attacks, hoping to catch Bucky off guard. But just like before, he expertly caught your wrist each time, preventing your strikes from connecting. Frustration gnawed at you, and you let out an audible groan each time he effortlessly pinned your arms behind your back and pushed you back.

Bucky didn't hold back with his taunts either. "Is that the best you've got, doll?" he prodded, his gaze locked onto yours. "I've seen other recruits do better. What happened to all those praises they were singing about you?"

Taking a deep breath, you tried to surprise him with a sudden kick, but Bucky saw through your move. He even managed to catch your legs mid-kick, causing you to lose your balance and tumble to the ground.

His voice dripped with mock disappointment as he quipped, "Doll, I expected better than that. That was just plain bad."

You took a deep breath, frustration fueling your determination. This time, you decided to go all out. You lunged at him with full force, no holding back, hoping to land a solid hit. His dodge and blocks were frustratingly precise, but you didn't give in.

Finally, you managed to back him into a wall, and you saw an opening. You went for a powerful kick, but he swiftly caught your leg, pulling it towards him. Before you knew it, you were pinned against the wall, your front pressed firmly against the hard surface.

"Doll, nice try," Bucky said, his tone edged with approval, "but you've still got long ways to go."

You groaned as he pinned you to the wall, frustrated since you couldn't beat him. "Fuck!"

He chuckled lowly, and you could feel the heat radiating off his body, his face mere inches from yours. "Language, sweetheart."

The feeling of his body pressed against yours sent tingles down your spine, and you tried to keep your breathing under control, your cheeks flushing.

Bucky seemed to notice your blush and couldn't resist a teasing remark. He leaned in even closer, his voice dripping with playful mischief. “What's the matter, doll? Is it too hot in here?" he teased, pressing himself closer to you.

Your blush deepened as he teased you, and you turned your head away from him, not able to meet his gaze. "You know what? You're seriously annoying."

Bucky's smile only grew wider, and he didn't let up. "Aw, come on, doll. Getting all worked up because you can't keep up?" he goaded, his warm breath tickling your neck. His face was even closer now, his eyes dark with a look you'd never seen before.

You huffed in exasperation, determined not to let his teasing get the best of you. "I can keep up just fine, thank you very much," you shot back, your competitive spirit coming to the forefront.

Bucky chuckled, the sound low and deep, sending a delightful shiver down your spine. "Well then," he challenged, his tone inviting. "Prove it. Try to break free from my hold."

Your breath caught in your throat at the suggestion, a rush of adrenaline surging through your veins. "Okay," you agreed, your tone confident. You decided to take Bucky's challenge head-on.

With a swift and calculated move, you attempted to break free from his hold, using all the skills you had acquired during your training with the Avengers. Bucky, ever the skilled fighter, didn't make it easy, but you were determined not to give in.

You tried and tried, but you couldn't seem to break free from his strong hold. You were both sweating, the effort causing the air around you to grow thicker and heavier. You could feel his chest pressed against your body, muscles flexing as he maintained the firm grip he had on you.

Finally, after what felt like hours, you were both breathing heavily, neither of you willing to give in. In that moment, with your bodies pressed together and the heat between you almost unbearable, something changed. You felt his hold on you loosen slightly, and you took the opportunity to spin around, pinning him to the wall.

A surprised chuckle escaped his lips, clearly caught off guard by your sudden move. His eyes, filled with desire, locked onto yours, and the tension between you seemed to reach a boiling point.

You couldn't help but smirk as you managed to gain the upper hand, "Huh, I wi-" But before you could finish, he swiftly turned the tables, pinning you back against the wall.

He chuckled, his voice low and husky. "Not quite, doll." He leaned in close, his breath hot against your ear. "Never let your guard down until you know your opponent is truly defeated," he whispered, his voice low.

You gasped, feeling the cool metal of his arm pressing against your skin. "You were saying?" he murmured, his voice low and husky. He leaned in close, his breath hot against your ear.

You bit your lip, feeling the tension between you reach a fever pitch. He leaned in close, his breath hot against your ear. "Never let your guard down until you know your opponent is truly defeated," he whispered, the words sending a shiver down your spine.

Your frustration bubbled up, and you couldn't help but shake your head in response. "That's not fair!" you protested, your voice tinged with exasperation. "I managed to break free from your hold. Doesn't that count for something?"

He chuckled, "Not it doesn't. You've still got a lot to learn. I could've easily gotten the upper hand on you again. The moment you let your guard down is the moment you lose the fight."

You clenched your jaw and stared into his blue eyes, not backing down from his challenge. "Okay enough with the taunting. I'm not afraid of you, Barnes."

His lips were so close, you could feel his breath against your skin. "You should be, doll," he murmured, his voice low and husky, sending a delicious shiver down your spine.

A moment passed between the two of you, and then, as if a dam had broken, he kissed you hard, it made you surprised, you gasped on his mouth and felt his tongue exploring you.

Your heart was pounding, the excitement building as you kissed him back. You tangled your fingers in his hair, pulling him closer as the heat between you grew.

"God, Y/N," he groaned against your mouth. His metal hand reached for your thighs, lifting you up effortlessly, wrapping your legs around his waist. He pressed you harder against the wall, his hips grinding against yours. You moaned at the friction, feeling your body responding to his touch.

The training room was forgotten as the two of you gave in to your desires, the heat between you driving you both wild. You knew it was a bad idea, but in that moment, you didn't care. All that mattered was the pleasure, the heat, the intensity of it all.

"Bucky..." You panted, feeling his lips and teeth exploring your neck, his tongue licking you, tasting you.

The sound of his name on your lips sent him over the edge, and he couldn't hold back anymore. His hands found their way under your yoga pants, gripping your ass. He bit down on your lip, drawing a small moan from you. You could feel him smile into the kiss.

"Fuck, doll. You like this? Me fucking you against the wall?" he groaned against your mouth.

You nodded, unable to form any coherent words. “Tell me, do you want more?"

"Yes," you breathed, your body trembling with need.

"Tell me," he ordered, his voice husky with desire.

"I want you, Bucky…. please."

"Beg for it," he growled, his hands moving to the front of your yoga pants. He tugged them down, the cold air hitting your wet core, his hand quickly finding its way between your thighs. You arched into his touch, desperate for more.

"Fuck, doll," he muttered, his fingers slipping into your panties, finding your wetness. "So fucking wet for me.” His fingers slid inside you, making you gasp, your hips bucking against him. "Is this what you want, doll?"

"Yes!" you cried out, your hands grasping at his shirt, trying to pull him closer. "Please," you moaned, your hips bucking against his.

He pumped his fingers in and out of you, his thumb rubbing circles around your clit, making you writhe and moan beneath him. "Such a good girl," he murmured, his free hand coming up to grip your breast. He groped you hard, squeezing and massaging you through your sports bra.

"Put your hands up," he commanded, pulling his fingers out of you. You complied, your hands reaching above your head. He pulled up your bra, exposing your breasts to him.

"Such a pretty little thing," he whispered, his breath hot against your ear. He took one of your nipples into his mouth, his tongue flicking over the sensitive bud. You moaned, your hips bucking against him as he sucked and nibbled on your breasts.

"So responsive," he chuckled, his hand reaching between your legs once again, his fingers dipping into your wetness. "Such a wet little girl. You're dripping for me."

"You like this?" He growled, his fingers rubbing your clit, his thumb sliding up and down your slick folds. He chuckled, the sound sending shivers down your spine, "Tell me were you already wet when we started sparring? Did you want me to pin you against the wall? To fuck you hard?"

You couldn't respond, the pleasure was too much. You were teetering on the edge, ready to fall over at any moment. "Please, Bucky..." you gasped, your hips grinding against his hand, desperately seeking release.

"You're a naughty girl, aren't you? You want me to fuck you, right here, in the training room, where anyone could walk in and see us?"

He was right, you didn't even think of that possibility. You shook your head, "No.. of course not... it's just the heat of the moment... It's just... we're alone right now."

"You sure about that, doll? Cause I'm pretty sure I heard someone walk by a few minutes ago. What if it was Clint? Or worse, what if it was Fury? I bet he would love to see this. His little protégé, getting fucked by the Winter Soldier."

You froze, your eyes wide.

"You know what?" He chuckled, "Let's put on a show for them. Let them watch. Let them see how you beg and scream for me."

“Cat’s got your tongue doll? Where are all the firey comebacks now? Nothing to say?” Your mind was in a state of shock. You tried to think, who was it? But Bucky was stroking you at a relentless pace, his thumb rubbing circles on your clit.

"You want me to make you cum, doll? To make you scream my name?"

"Yes," you panted, you didn’t care anymore, all you wanted was release. Your body trembling as he drove you closer to the edge.

He reached up, gripping your chin, his eyes locking onto yours. "I've wanted to fuck your attitude out of you ever since you came to the compound, doll,” he said, his voice husky with lust. "Watching you fight, all that fire, all that passion, it makes me so fucking hard. You have no idea how many times I've wanted to take you right here, to show you who's in control."

You couldn't take it anymore, the pleasure building, "I'm so close... Bucky," you moaned. You were so close, and he was taking you to new heights. You couldn't stop yourself, you could feel yourself losing control.

"Yeah I can tell, you're tightening around my fingers. Are you going to be a good girl and cum for me? Beg for it, and maybe I'll let you," he teased, his fingers still pumping in and out of you, faster and faster, sending you over the edge.

"Please, Bucky..." you cried, your hips bucking against his hand.

He pulled his fingers out of you, and you whined in frustration. "What the hell, Barnes?”

"Now, now," he tsked, his fingers trailing down your stomach, and stopping at your hip. "You don't get to come until I say so, doll," he ordered, his voice low and dangerous.

"But, please, I'm so close," you begged, the frustration almost unbearable.

"I know, but you need to learn who's in charge, and it's not you," he said, his fingers tracing circles around your clit, making you moan. "You have to obey my orders, Y/N."

"What the fuck, Barnes!" You screamed at him feeling angry at how he toyed with you. "What the hell is wrong with you?"

He grabbed your hair and pulled it down making you winched in pain, "What did you fucking say to me?" He grabbed it harder when you didn’t answer him.

"Ouch." You winced in pain.

Bucky's eyes darkened and he tightened his grip. “First, you need to watch that mouth of yours." He was breathing heavily, his voice rough and commanding. "Or I'm going to shove my dick in it and put you in your place." he warned, his hand moving to grip your hair, forcing you to look up at him.

You gulped down at his threat. There was no mistaking the promise in his voice, but your pussy clenched at the thought of taking him into your mouth.

"Second," he continued, his grip loosening slightly. "You need to learn that you don't get to question my orders, doll. You're going to be a good girl and listen."

You stared at him, unable to speak. He was serious.

"Answer me Y/N or I will leave you here, frustrated and wanting more," He threatened.

You could feel the heat pooling in your belly, his dominance and authority turning you on even more.

"Yes please, I'll obey," you said, your voice shaking slightly.

"Good girl, that’s more like it," he murmured, his metal hand coming up to caress your cheek. Bucky leaned closer and kissed your lips, his tongue sliding inside your mouth. He was sucking on your tongue and nibbling on your lips, his teeth digging into the soft flesh of your mouth. He kissed your cheek and moved down to your neck.

"Now, where are we?" He asked, his fingers back on your clit, rubbing in slow, agonizing circles. He was torturing you, teasing you.

He smiled wickedly, his hand moving from your clit and slipping inside you. He pushed two fingers inside your core and began pumping them. He started moving his hand faster and faster, the sound of his fingers sliding in and out filling the air.

You wanted to scream and yell at him, but you were unable to speak, the pleasure and the need for release overwhelming. You were panting and moaning, your eyes closed shut as you were trying not to come.

"Not yet." he growled. He pushed a third fingers inside your core and began pumping them. He started moving his hand faster and faster, the sound of his fingers sliding in and out filling the air.

"Beg," he commanded, his voice firm.

"Please, please, please, Bucky," you whimpered.

"Louder," he ordered.

"Please!" you whimpered, the desire and need taking over. "Please, Bucky, fuck my pussy and let me come," you begged. You felt your inside tightening, you need to come right now.

Bucky leaned closer and kissed you again, his tongue pushing its way into your mouth, exploring every inch. He moaned into your mouth, his fingers still pumping into you, his thumb circling your clit. "No," he said, and your eyes snapped open, meeting his blue ones. He smirked, seeing that you were close. "If you come before I tell you, I will punish you, doll."

Your eyes widened and your whole body shook with fear.

"Do you understand?" He asked, his fingers slowly pumping inside you.

"Yes, yes, I understand."

He chuckled, "You're a needy little slut, aren't you? You'd beg for my cock too, wouldn't you?"

"Yes," you moaned, the word falling from your lips without a second thought. "Please, Bucky, I need to come. I need your cock inside me, fucking me hard and fast," you begged, the words tumbling from your lips.

"That's a good girl," he murmured, his fingers picking up their pace. "You're gonna cum for me now, doll. You're gonna cum all over my fingers, and then, when you've recovered, you're gonna get on your knees and suck my cock. And when I'm ready, I'm gonna fuck you, and I'm gonna make you scream my name."

You moaned loudly as his fingers brought you closer to the edge, his words sending a thrill through you.

"You'd like that wouldn't you, doll? Having my cock buried deep inside you, fucking you senseless?"

"Yes, yes, yes," you panted, the pleasure building. He added another finger and curled them inside you, hitting your g-spot, and you gasped.

"That's it, Y/N," he groaned, his fingers moving faster. "Come for me. Let me hear you."

"I... I'm gonna..." you moaned, the pleasure building in your body. You couldn't hold back any longer, the pleasure overwhelming you,

"Come now!," he ordered his fingers working even faster, and suddenly, you exploded.

"BUCKY!" You screamed, your body shaking violently as waves of pleasure washed over you. Your body was trembling, and your juices were flowing freely down his fingers

"Such a good girl," he praised, his fingers slowing, drawing out the last of your orgasm, licking them clean. “Delicious," he murmured.

You panted, your body still shaking from the intensity of the orgasm. He lowered you to the floor, your legs shaky from the intense pleasure.

Bucky chuckled, seeing the confusion on your face. "Don't worry, doll," he said, leaning down and kissing you. "We're just getting started."

"On your knees," he commanded, his voice husky with desire.

Your knees trembled and you looked up at him. His eyes were dark, his pupils dilated with lust. You could see his cock straining against the fabric of his pants. You did as you were told, dropping to your knees. You looked up at him, your eyes locking onto his.

"Open your mouth," he ordered, and you obeyed. "Suck my cock." His voice firm and authoritative

Your eyes widened and your cheeks flushed with embarrassment as you watched him slowly unzip his pants, his thick, hard cock springing free. You stared at him for a moment, taking in the sight of him. The serum must did something to him, as his member was definitely bigger than any man you'd seen before.

"Now," he ordered, his voice low and commanding. "Don't be shy," he coaxed, his eyes dark with lust.

You slowly reached up and grasped his thick shaft in your hand, feeling the hot, smooth skin, marveling at the size of him. You felt a jolt of excitement run through your body as you stroked his length, feeling him twitch in your hand. You could feel yourself growing wet as you continued to stroke his cock, his member growing even harder under your touch.

His fingers tangling in your hair "Now, put my cock in your pretty mouth, doll," he said, his voice thick with desire.

You lowered your head and opened your mouth, wrapping your lips around the tip of his cock. You licked the tip of his cock, swirling your tongue around it, tasting his salty pre-cum. He groaned, his hips bucking as you took more of his cock into your mouth, bobbing your head up and down.

You hummed around him, the vibration making him moan. His fingers tangled in your hair, pulling at the roots as you worked your mouth up and down his shaft, his cock hitting the back of your throat.

You felt a surge of pleasure run through your body as you sucked his cock, loving the taste and feel of him in your mouth. You could feel his grip tightening on your hair as you continued to suck him, your tongue dancing along his length.

You didn't have any practice beforehand, but you are naturally gifted hearing praises, such as "Mmm, that's it.”, "Just like that.", “Fuck, you are good.” and the way his thighs trembled beside your ears were a tell-tale sign that you were doing great.

"You look so good like this," he moaned, his hand holding onto the back of your head, guiding your mouth over his cock. "I've imagined you sucking me off before."

His words made you moan around him, the vibrations sending shockwaves of pleasure through his body.

"You're taking my cock so well, like you were made for it."

You whimpered around him, his cock hitting the back of your throat once again. The feeling of his cock throbbing in your mouth, the taste of him, and the way he praised you were pushing you closer to the edge.

"God, your mouth feels so fucking good," he moaned, his hips thrusting as he fucked your mouth. "Such a good little slut, aren't you, doll?"

You felt your pussy clench at his words, your arousal growing with every stroke of his cock. You bobbed your head faster, taking him deeper into your mouth, loving the sounds of his moans.

His fingers tugged at your hair, the pain and pleasure mixing together to send another rush of pleasure through your body. You moaned around him, the sound vibrating through his cock, causing him to thrust deeper into your mouth.

You whimpered, your eyes watering as he pounded into your mouth. You could barely breathe, his thick cock stretching your throat as he fucked your mouth. Your pussy throbbed, your arousal coating your thighs as he mouth-fucked you.

"Oh yeah, you love this, don't you?" He groaned. "You love choking on my cock." As he thrust his cock into your mouth, his hands travelled to your breast, squeezing them hard, making you moan.

He groaned as you continued to suck, his grip on your hair tightening, the pain sending another wave of pleasure through your body. He was fucking your mouth ruthless, the wet slurping sounds were the only sound in the room. And the sounds he was making was almost enough to make you cum.

It became harder to breath with each stroke of his cock meeting the back of your throat, tears pricked in the corners of your eyes, the pain and pleasure mixing together.

He looked down at you, the sight of your mouth around his cock was almost enough to make him cum. He pulled out of your mouth with a loud pop, leaving you gasping for breath and tears running down your face.

"Look at you, what a mess you are," he smirked, his eyes raking over your body. "You're such a dirty girl, aren't you?"

You felt your face flush, his words making your pussy ache with need. You whimpered, the need to be filled by his cock becoming unbearable.

"Do you want me to fuck you, doll? Do you want me to fuck you so hard, you can't walk tomorrow?"

You moaned, your body trembling with anticipation. "Yes, please," you begged, your voice hoarse. "Please, fuck me, Bucky." You couldn’t think straight, you had no filter, you were just saying whatever came to mind.

He grabbed a fistful of your hair and yanked your head back. "Say it," he growled, his eyes dark and dangerous.

"Please, Bucky," you said, your voice pleading.

"Try better than that," he said, his voice firm.

"Please fuck me, Sergeant," you whimpered, your voice laced with desperation. "Please fuck me hard and fast until I can't walk. Please use me however you want."

He smiled wickedly. "Your words, not mine. Be careful for what you wish for, doll."

He shoved you onto the floor, his body looming over you. "On the floor. On all fours now," he ordered, his voice stern and commanding.

You scrambled to comply, getting onto your hands and knees. Your heart racing as he positioned himself behind you.

"Spread your legs," he said, and you complied.

He knelt behind you, his hands roaming over your body, caressing your skin. You could feel his hands on your hips, his cock rubbing against your wetness.

"Do you have any idea what I'm going to do to you, Y/N?" He whispered, his voice low and husky.

You stayed quiet waiting for him. "I'm gonna make you scream and beg for me, I'm gonna make you forget everything, except my name."

His words sent a shiver through your body, his tone full of dominance and power.

"And when I'm done with you, you'll never forget me, Y/N. You'll always remember me, remember the way I made you feel."

You could feel his hardness pressing against your entrance, teasing you, tormenting you. His hands running over your ass. "But I'm not gonna go easy on you. You understand?"

"Yes," you moaned, your voice breathy. "I understand."

"Good girl," he said, and with that, he pushed his cock inside of you, filling you completely. You cried out, your body quivering as he stretched you. "Such a tight little cunt," he groaned, his hips snapping against you, his cock buried deep inside of you. "So fucking perfect."

You cried out, the pain and pleasure mixing together.

"Fuck, you're so tight," he grunted, his hands gripping your hips tightly. He started to move, his pace slow and steady, his cock stretching you with each thrust.

"Oh god," you moaned, your voice echoing in the room.

"You like that, Y/N?" As he slammed his cock into you, his voice full of lust.

"Yes," you moaned, the sensation driving you wild.

"That's right, doll, take my cock," he growled, his fingers digging into your hips. "Take all of it." He was rough, his pace fast and unforgiving, his cock filling you to the brim with every thrust. You cried out, the pleasure and pain mingling into a sweet symphony.

You moaned, your body shaking as he fucked you. He was pounding into you, his cock hitting all the right spots. Your body was on fire, your mind lost in a haze of lust and desire. "Who's pussy is this?," He asked.

"It's yours," you gasped, your body trembling.

"Say it again," he commanded, his thrusts growing faster and harder.

"It's yours," you repeated, your voice barely above a whisper.

"Fucking right it is," he growled, his voice low and husky.

He was pounding into you, his pace relentless. The room filled with the sound of skin slapping against skin, the smell of sex hanging heavy in the air.

He yanked your hair, forcing your head back and you whimpered. He kissed you, his tongue invading your mouth. His teeth dug into your bottom lip, making you moan.

"Who's a dirty little slut?" He demanded, his hips slapping against yours.

"Me," you gasped, the pleasure threatening to overwhelm you. "I'm a dirty little slut, Bucky."

"That's right," he growled, his grip on your hair tightening. "You're my dirty little slut, and I'm gonna fucking ruin you. You’re fucking mine."

Your body trembled, your muscles tensing as his cock slammed into you. You could feel the pleasure building, the pressure mounting inside of you. You were so close, and you needed him to finish you off. "Oh god, I’m so close," you begged, your voice desperate and needy.

"Not yet," he snarled, his grip on your hair tightening. "You'll cum when I say so, and not a moment before."

"Please," you begged, the pleasure becoming almost unbearable. "Please let me cum, Bucky."

"Soon, doll," he promised, his thrusts becoming more erratic. "Very soon." He knew you almost came and he decided to torture you further when his fingers finding your clit and he pressed down hard.

You cried out, the pleasure and pain becoming too much. "Oh god," you whimpered, your body trembling. "Please, I can't take it."

He slammed his cock into you, his balls slapping against your clit. "Yes, you can," he growled. "And you will."

You whimpered, the pressure inside of you reaching a breaking point. "Bucky, please please please," you begged, the pleasure threatening to consume you.

"Now," he commanded, his voice harsh and commanding. "Cum for me, doll."

You cried out, the pleasure exploding throughout your body. Your walls clenched around his cock, your muscles spasming. Your mind went blank, the world around you fading away. Your body was shaking uncontrollably as he fucked you through your orgasm, his hips snapping against you, his cock pounding into you.

You were exhausted, your body drained of energy. He continued to fuck you, his pace slowing slightly.

He slapped your ass, the sting of his hand sending a jolt of pleasure through your body. "Such a good little slut," he growled, his hips slamming against yours. "Taking my cock so well."

"Bucky," you moaned, the pleasure building once again. "Please, I can't take anymore."

"Yes, you can," he said, his voice low and husky. He slapped your ass again, harder this time. "You're going to cum for me again, doll."

"No," you protested weakly, your body trembling with exhaustion.

“Yes," he growled, his thrusts becoming more intense. "You will." His metal hand sliding up your stomach, between your breasts, and around your throat.

Your body arched, pushing your hips further onto his cock. The sound of his ragged breaths mixed with yours as you both raced towards your climaxes. "I'm close, Y/N. So fucking close."

His hands pinched your nipples, sending another shock of pleasure through your body. He sucked on them, the sensation almost too much for you. You whimpered, his lips capturing yours again. Your tongues swirled around each other, tasting, devouring.

His cock slid in and out of you, his pace quickening. His moans and growls echoed around you as his orgasm neared. He was so close. So was you.

"Please, Bucky," you begged, your pussy clenching around his length.

He tightened his grip on your throat and slammed his hips into yours. His free hand slid down to your clit, his thumb rubbing circles over it. His eyes meeting yours. his hips slapping against yours, his cock hitting all the right spots.

"Cum with me, doll. Don't close your eyes. I want to see those pretty eyes as you come apart."

Your entire body shuddered, his command sending you over the edge. Your walls fluttered around his length, milking him of his seed. Your body trembled, your muscles spasming as you rode out the waves of ecstasy. His breath becoming ragged as his own release neared.

"Fuck," he groaned, his hips slapping against you. "Your cunt is so fucking perfect."

"God, yes," you moaned, the pleasure threatening to overwhelm you.

He slammed into you, his pace becoming erratic as he neared his release. "Oh god," he moaned, his hips snapping against yours. "I'm gonna cum."

"Yes, Bucky. Cum inside me," you whimpered, your voice barely above a whisper.

Your words were enough to send him over the edge.

He growled, his grip on your hair tightening as he pounded into you, his cock filling you completely. He groaned as he cum, his body shuddering as his release washed over him.

"That's right," he groaned, his body going limp. "Take all of it." You felt him twitch inside of you, his hot release spilling into you.

You slumped forward, your body spent as it slick with sweat and cum. You could hear Bucky panting behind you, his chest heaving. You rested your forehead against the floor, trying to catch your breath. You had never been fucked so thoroughly in your life. Your muscles were sore and tired, your pussy throbbing.

Bucky was still inside of you, his cock softening. He pulled out, his cum spilling out of you. You could feel his cum leaking from your pussy, dripping down your thighs. "Look at that," he whispered, his voice thick with satisfaction. "Such a pretty sight." He slid a finger between your folds, collecting the sticky mess, then he pushed it back inside you. You let out a small whimper as he slowly pumped it in and out.

Bucky turned you around, your head falling back against the floor. His face hovered above yours, his blue eyes burning with lust. He looked down at you, before he could say anything, you both heard footsteps approaching.

You were panicking as someone could see you in such state, strangely, Bucky seemed unfazed, his expression steady despite the unexpected interruption. Then the next thing made your heart skipped as you heard the doorknob turning. You could only pray the ground to swallow you whole.

Hey everyone, I hope you enjoyed the story! Apologies if the ending didn't meet your expectations, I'm considering a Part 2, but I'd love to hear your thoughts. I'm open to any feedback for improvement. Your input means a lot.

If you want to see more, please show your support by leaving a like. Thank you for taking the time to read!

A/N : Thank you so much for the kind replies and support! I'm really glad you enjoy the story, you have no idea how much that motivate me to continue writing. Please stay tune for part 2! Love youuuu xx

#bucky barnes x reader #bucky x y/n #bucky barnes fanfiction #bucky barnes smut #bucky barnes fic #marvel x reader #avenger smut #steve rogers #wanda maximoff #bucky enemies to lovers #bucky an asshole #sebastian stan fanfiction #sebastian stan smut

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taahko · 2 months

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I just found your blog today can you please explain or point out a post that explains the MASH timeloop thing? I love the show but I've never heard anyone talk abt it that way before

oh yay hurray ive been waiting for an excuse to talk about this lmao sorry this is long

ok so basically maeve (my gf) and i started watching mash for the first time about a month ago and we started joking about it being like the characters were stuck in a time loop mostly because the same basic episode format is repeated over and over, because it's a sitcom from the 70s and the episodes arent meant to be watched en masse where you can start noticing all the little repetitions and plot holes and inconsistencies that naturally occur in longform tv

but then i started to pay attention to the dates being mentioned in the show - famously the korean war never technically ended, but american troops were involved in active on the ground fighting between 1950 and 1953, so the entire 11 seasons of mash have to be squeezed into that three year period. with 251 episodes occurring within 1,129 days, that gives every episode about 4.5 days of real time. so it works right? no time loop right? well wait a sec

for the first 5 seasons or so of mash they give very consistent dates about when things are happening. for example, bj arrives in korea in september of 1952, at the start of season 4. colonel potter arrives about a week after him, and talks about how he has 18 months left before his retirement. that gives us about 7 months for the shows final 7 seasons to take place in, meaning that by the episode 'point of view' in season 7 we should be around december of 1952. in that episode the pov character starts writing a letter home and in the corner he writes the date:

september of 1951. ok, could be that this episode isn't meant to take place in the regular timeline of the season - maybe for some reason its just like, a random flashback episode. but bj, charles, and potter are all present, even though none of them got to korea until 1952. now i KNOW that this is not like, the True Hidden Secret Lore of MASH, this is the writers realizing they were running out of road and turning back the clock a bit to accommodate for how long the show was running on. but play in my time loop space with me please

more talking points:

consistent jokes about time zones and how difficult it is to call the states because "our today is their yesterday but if you call them now it might not reach them until our tomorrow and by that point our yesterday will be their today"

hawkeye's increasing mania over the seasons and his conviction that the war will never end, comparing the camp to dante's inferno multiple times. maeve once pointed out that the closer hawkeye comes to realizing that he's trapped in a time loop the closer he gets to being institutionalized - and what does the series finale cold open onto ? hawkeye in a mental institution. the only way out is to lose yourself etc. sidenote frank also escaped the time loop by going insane and getting institutionalized

in a war for all seasons bj potter and charles are all present at the 1951 new years party as well as the 1952 new years party

there are three christmas episodes, two of which bj is present for even though he should only have spent one christmas in korea

details of people's families and lives shift around - sometimes potter's got multiple grandchildren, sometimes he only has one, sometimes its a girl, sometimes its a boy, sometimes she's 5, sometimes he's 2

we're not the first people to talk about this either, here's a good video compilation posted a couple yrs ago of time loop moments

overall ive been using the time loop thesis to add another layer to my mash viewing experience. it increases the already present sense of constant dread, anger, frustration, and disgust with their situation that the characters feel, plus it feels like a very poignant take on the united states' constant warmongering and violent existence. it really never ends, it just goes on an on. the future's been canceled by the war department- we're just gonna replay the past.

#shut up aggie #mash #might add more to this later

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kmartinswife · 1 month

Text

kate martin x reader

heyy!

this is my first ever post on tumblr after being on here for 2 years... this is also my first attempt at a one shot/fic so please give me any pointers or critiques!!

———

words - 1050

a bit angstyyy but not really

warnings? just maybe alcohol and kissing.

Two weeks had passed since the end of your undefined relationship with Kate, and it had taken a toll on you. While spending countless hours together, flirting and being more than friends, it suddenly came to an end over some miscommunication. You didn't understand why she flipped out over nothing, and the pure dramatics she showed scared you from trying to reconcile. Both of you decided whatever you had was done and assumed it was over.

Since both of you play for the Iowa Hawkeyes, you see her every single day. To the best of your knowledge, the rest of the team never caught on to the shared laughs, sneaking around, and secret glances. Your eyes still linger on Kate longer than anyone else, especially when she's laughing it up with Caitlin and Gabbie for what feels like hours. You wished it was you that was making her eyes light up and her smile wide, not Caitlin.

You had tried to stay upbeat and confident, but it was hard when Kate paid no more than necessary attention to you. All you wanted was to reverse back 14 days and fix your fight. Apologize. Make her listen. Anything to get her back laughing with you and hanging out whenever you didn't have classes or basketball.

At the 20 day mark, Iowa had come back winners from a home game, and the team decided a karaoke bar was the best idea for celebrating. You had played an amazing game, putting up your best numbers of the season. Kate hadn't even batted an eye. The press conference was a joke to you, reporters congratulating you and asking you how good it felt, but in all honesty you felt like shit over an ex-situationship.

Hannah had to practically force you into coming to the bar after telling the team you had too much homework to party. This is how you ended up in your tiniest top and best-fitting jeans slouched on the bar alone, watching Kate flirt with a random girl. Jealousy filled you. Could she not do this another time? Why did it have to be when you were watching?

"You played pretty amazing out there tonight," Gabbie approached you and took a seat, "and it's clear you dressed up a bit more than usual, but you're still sulking in a corner. Tell me what's up. Please?"

You sighed and turned to look her in the eyes. Her eyes looked soft back at you as you stayed silent. You slowly gazed away and back toward Kate and her new girl. Gabby must've caught on.

"Caitlin and I know about you two. She wants you back, if you can't tell," Gabby told you, "she was a mess before the game tonight. She's been a mess."

You guys discussed it, and you both were going to keep it a secret, you don't understand why she told multiple people. You finally found your voice, "It doesn't seem like she gives a fuck about me anymore. Look at her. I don't know if I ever made her as happy as that random drunk girl is," you stated.

"Come on, you know she missed you. She regrets walking away like that. Just talk to her, please?" Gabbie pleaded.

Kate had left the girl and was now standing alone at the bar. She was leaned up against it, staring at Gabbie and you, displaying an unreadable expression. She was wearing dark black jeans, and a tight halter tank. Kate's hair was in a low bun, with chunks pulled out to frame her face. She looked hot. No wonder that girl flirted with her, Kate was astonishing tonight.

"Gabbie, she's ignored me for the past few weeks. What do I even say to her?" You asked, nervous because of Gabbie's pressure.

"Tell her how you feel. I am one hundred percent sure she will open up to you. I hate seeing you both like this," Gabbie replied.

"Okay," you replied, and Gabbie gave your back a quick tap before turning away to play a drinking game with most of your teammates.

You sat with your thoughts for a moment. Of course you forgave her, she was Kate after all, and it was really just a heated moment. Neither of you made a move to sit beside the other. There was a good chunk of room separating the pair of you, far enough you could hardly see her in your peripheral vision. You didn't believe you had the confidence to face her right now.

Busy in your thoughts, you didn't realize Kate had plunked herself down right beside you. Neither of you looked at each other, rather choosing to remain cold and stare directly forward. She nested a rum and coke in her left hand, slowly pushing it around, revealing her rings decorating her fingers. The rings you used to love so dearly.

“I should have stayed,” she started, “I’m sorry.”

You sat with it for a moment. Not daring to look at her. You knew you forgave her, so why was it so hard to get the words out?

“I really disliked not being listened to, Kate. It really hurt,” you said. You felt mature, putting your feelings out for show, “I want to understand you, that's all I ever wanted. But I cannot understand why you stormed out.”

She turned to you, “In the moment, I was upset. I've run it through my head hundreds of times. I was unsure of what to do, so I left. I don't think I was ready to have a relationship-level fight with you. I just didn't want to hurt us. I want us back to normal — actually, I want more than normal with you, I don't want us to be a secret.”

You huffed and took a sip of your drink, “I understand. Thank you for apologizing,” you replied and turned toward her, looking into her caring blue eyes, “oh my goodness, I have missed you.”

You leaned in for a hug and Kate accepted gratefully. You both missed each other so much. The embrace lasted as you were reminded of her simple, yet perfect, perfume, and the warmth of her skin. God did you miss her.

“You played so well tonight, it was amazing. You're amazing,” she told you as you leaned out of her embrace.

A wide smile grew onto your features and you knew you were back on track, “Want to get out of here?”

#iowa wbb #kate martin #kate martin x reader #iowa hawkeyes

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sassydefendorflower · 1 year

Text

There is such a power in FMA only telling Ed and Al's story.

By the end we can see glimpses of all the other people we met throughout the boys' journey, but for most of them the future in uncertain.

In a way it is a very... un-shounen ending. Because while, yes, Edward does get his happy ending (his brother, Winry, and a future in which he can be a happy and attentive father) for everyone else the future is uncertain. Oh, it is certainly hopeful - but it is not written in stone.

We know that Roy got a promotion, but Brigadier General is still three to four ranks away from becoming Führer and it is likely going to take years if it's going to work at all. And while Grumman is definitely not a Homunculus, he is still human - and FMA shows us again and again what horrors humanity is capable of. He's a moderate and on Mustang's side, but in the end we don't know how his and Hawkeye's story ends.

We don't know if they achieve their goal. If they ever end up paying for what they did in Ishval.

We know that Ling ends up becoming Emperor, and we know he has sworn to protect the Chen Clan. We don't know if his goal of creating peace between the warring clans of Xing will bear fruits. We don't know if his reign will be long and prosperous, and we don't know if he will ever find love - he is, after all, a man for whom duty comes first. Lan Fan and Mei are much the same.

We know Scar reclaimed his heritage - maybe even his title as a monk - and that he and Miles are in charge of rebuilding Ishval. We know Mustang has plans to end the occupation of the annexed country. We know there is hope for a people who had every reason to loose it. But we won't ever know what reparations were paid, what troubles were had, what hurdles almost destroyed them.

We know Winry will have friends in the future, and children. We can hope that her automail business becomes a success and that she fulfills all her dreams - we have reason to hope, her happiness is Ed's happiness after all, and we know he would do everything for her.

We see Al travel, and we see him and Ed share ideas and knowledge and dreams. We can imagine a world in which they live long lives and experience more adventures - but at the same time, their story is over.

FMA answers a lot of questions at the end, telling us that for now, everything is okay, our heroes saved the day, their friends (mostly) alive and well.

But it will never give us the ultimate happy end - it will never give us a "and now everyone is happy and everything is good". Oh, it comes close, because it offers us something else, something central to the themes of the story:

It offers us hope.

The hope that Roy and Riza will succeed, that Ling and Mei and Lan Fan will change the Imperial System, that Scar and Miles will create safety for their people, that Winry will be happy, and Amestris a country worth living for.

We will never know for sure, because it is not their story.

(and thank god for that - the possibility of failure is what makes the hope worth it)

(I'm sure Ed and his automail leg would agree)

#fma #fmab #edward elric #roy mustang #riza hawkeye #alphonse elric #fullmetal alchemist brotherhood #fullmetal alchemist #ling yao #fma meta #my stuff #wined #winry rockbell

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findafight · 1 year

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On the one-sided harringrove post- I feel it becomes infinitely funnier with bi steve. He likes men, just not Billy. Never Billy.

Oh yeah. When Billy fiiiirst comes to school with his music blaring Steve is head over heels for Nancy, so he might register that the guy with the Camaro and loud music has a good ass, but then billy opens his mouth and Steve is like "oh, no ass can make up for that personality." And continues with his life.

Just. Okay I like to project just a liiiiittle on Steve with him just. Not realizing his attraction to men isn't a straight thing. Like. Of course all straight people feel that way, you just kinda ignore it or don't do anything about it. So Steve is half way between being comfortable in his sexuality and being closeted to himself because buddy used Hawkeye Pierce as the blueprint of straightness.

So Billy is out here, wallowing in self hatred and internalized homophobia, hating Steve and wanting Steve and hating that he wants Steve and wishing Steve would pay attention to him enough for a hate fuck he can cry about later, and it's all very angsty. All the while Steve is just actually completely fine with thinking a dude is hot he's just got standards that include "not racist" "doesn't try to beat up kids" "hasn't made me blackout from head trauma"

Wait. Oh no. I feel an au coming on. Shit. Au where post S2 Robin hears piano coming from the band room after hours and is her curious self going "I must see who is this mysterious genius" and it's Steve. They get to talking and hanging out and all of a sudden Robin thinks they are actually good friends. Best friends. Somehow.

Cue them going to a band party together. Someone spikes their drinks with waayyyy more than they were expecting so they are blasted. Robin has to go pee but does not want to go alone so she drags Steve into the bathroom with her and makes him face away. He's like haha Woah you really had to pee. And she goes shut upppp and washes her hands but sits across from him. Steve smiles at her and gives her his speech about how amazing she is and how glad he is to be her friend (it is like March '85 so he is still not ready to get back out into dating yet). Robin tells him about Tammy. They sing. Someone slams the door open and kicks them out of the bathroom because there's a fuckin line.

They lay on the grass outside and look at the sky. Steve like. Caaaaasually mentions once having thought he was gonna marry Tommy when he was six and then realizing you just didn't do anything about those feelings and Robin's gotta shoot up going WHAT!! WHAAAT? Because it sounded like Steve coming out to her? Right after?? She came out to him??

And Steve is like yeah. Like you don't really have to? Easier to ignore it and flirt with girls who I like or think are hot. And poor Robin's brain is melting she's like please Steve I'm really drunk are you telling me you sometimes want to kiss boys? And he's like yes, obviously, everyone does. Just like everyone also wants to sometimes kiss girls. Except lesbians I guess who only want to kiss girls? And gay guys only want to kiss guy? Yeah that makes sense and straight people don't care but go for the opposite ya know?

Robin is like NO!! And calms down some and says "okay I'm telling you this because you are my friend and you just told me almost the same thing. Steve. I like girls and only like girls. That not a straight thing"

"yeah. You've said."

"but I am ninety nine percent positive that just because you like girls doesn't mean you're straight because you also like boys."

"what"

"yeah dude, I do not think this is a heterosexual experience you're describing. I'm not an expert but. Yeah.

"oh. Huh."

"yep."

"I definitely thought it was."

"your brain is so weird I'm still kind of obsessed with you."

"haha. Honestly I'm kind of obsessed with you. This is wild."

"well. At least I know you're stuck with me."

"ohhh nooooo whatever will I do with my best friend always around..."

ANYWAYS THE ACTUAL POINT OF THIS is not in fact the stobin. It's actually that

Sometime probably in may, when Steve is ready to be on the dating scene again, he gets with Eddie. Robin is happy for him but also so mad because he went from "probably shouldn't act gay even tho everyone feels a little gay sometimes" to "hey Robin what would you say if I said I got a boyfriend?" In less than two months. How does he have straight AND gay game. That's not fair.

Steddie getting together is a non event. Eddie is still like ewww sports and yet somehow he made out with Steve Harrington and the next day Steve asked if he wanted to get milkshakes and throw rocks into the quarry to see the splashes. Eddie must restrain himself from thinking it's a date because he knows it's not but it'd also be the perfect date (Eddie is a simple man)

At the end of the night steve kissed his cheek and says "I had a really great time..."

Eddie just blurted "hey do you want to be my boyfriend?"

To which Steve perks up like "yes! I'd like that!"

And Eddie didn't actually think he'd get that far so he was like "neat!! See you tomorrow!" before slamming the door in Steve's face.

So they're dating and Eddie disparages sports but Steve is like haha aw you don't like watching me play? Which is sooo mean to Eddie because obviously?? He likes?? Watching his boyfriend??? Run around in tiny shorts and sometimes shirtless?? He has to reevaluate some things he supposes.

All while this is happening Billy is still on his Greatest Homoerotic Rivals shtick with Steve. Eddie notices and is like to dude...what is with Billy? And Steve just sighs. Says Billy is weird and obsessed with him and glares all the time. It's a whole thing. Billy is pissed because what is Steve, his epic rival, doing hanging around some random band geek, his sister's bitchass friends, and maybe the local dealer.

Alright. Grad happens. Yay Steve! Poor Eddie. They go to some party , hang out with people, sell some drugs, etc. Billy is unfortunately also at this party, and is like. Lazer eyes boring into Steve's back. Very annoying. At some point, he sees Steve slip away and is like this is my chance so he follows him.

Howmever he comes across Steve, his epic and totally heterosexual rival, making out with Eddie the freak Munson.

And listen this is a scary thing to be caught inna town like Hawkins, but that's not the point of this post.

So Billy goes "what the hell?"

They turn around. Billy is still spluttering.

"what are you-why would you-- with him?!" He says.

Steve raises his eyebrows, alllll cocky confidence. He smirks a bit. Drawls. "Well, yeah. I like cock, billy. Just not yours."

Because the point of this post is that Steve is a bitch.

Thank you.

#steve Harrington #eddie munson #platonic stobin #steddie #anti harringrove #lol anon you got me rambling.#stranger things #robin buckley #findaanswers #finda writes stuff #anonasaurus #anti billy hargrove #tagging for both i guess hoo boy #didnt think itd turn up in the billy tag because thats the eighth tag so i guess my bad!#it was for organization and tag blocks #billy Hargrove

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short-honey-badger · 3 months

Text

Peppermint Tea 22 - Lavender 5

Okay. So this part we kinda get into more background for Shanks and Mihawk. I kept it simple because I don't want to keep complicating things by adding more lol.

Anyway, I hope you enjoy!

Warnings! Kissing! Mihawk and Shanks are sad over a real dumb misunderstanding.

Masterlist

Sukuna narrows his eyes at the two men who are curled around his human. He doesn’t like either of them, even if the dark-haired one had been the one to save him in the first place. Sukuna didn’t trust men other than himself and his two brothers. The chickens were far too stupid to count. The males took away his attention from his human and thought they could boss him around. No one but his human bossed Sukuna around.

It’s been a day and a half since the older human had shown back up, and Sukuna’s sensitive nose could tell that you were feeling better. The sick scent had all but disappeared, but you were still weak. The cat yowled loudly to try and get your attention, but all he gained were two sets of glares from the men crowded around his human. He yowls again, putting an extra amount of sass in, and finally, it seems to work, for the smug cat watches as you sit yourself up, hair a wild mess as you find the source of all the noise.

“Suku, gimmie two minutes, and I’ll get up,” You assure your spoilt baby, and then those twin glares are on you, yellow and chocolate full of disappointment. Shanks rolls his eyes at you and then lays back, content to let Mihawk handle this when he notices the other man gearing up for it.

“You are not getting up just because that cat is begging,” Dracule says lowly, and you shiver when his hot breath tickles your chilled ear. His arm is tight around your waist, legs tucked behind your own. Shanks is pressed in close on your other side, sole arm tossed over you and resting innocently on the other man’s waist. You take in the sight, lips curling up when you happen to glance at the redhead to see him giving that soft look you are just getting to know to Mihawk.

“Hawkeye is right, baby girl. You are staying right here. One of us can go feed the bugger,” Shanks suggests, and when he gets two sets of eyes, one pleading and the other demanding, the Emperor sighs and extracts his arm, “Which, I guess that’ll be my job.”

You snicker at his put-out voice but are swiftly distracted when Mihawk rolls the two of you, legs settling on either side of yours as he settles his weight on top of you. The warlord holds himself up on his elbows and then dips to seal his lips to yours in a relieved kiss. If you are feeling well enough to try and get up to feed one of your nosey pets, then you must feel well enough for Dracule to steal a few kisses. He has missed your soft voice and plucky attitude, so hearing it has sent his heart racing, and his hands aching to touch you.

You sigh into the kiss, arms lifting to wind around his neck, and pull him more fully into your embrace. His tongue pushes forward, and Mihawk hums into the kiss when you wrap your lips around the muscle and gently suck. The warlord allows you your fun before he pulls away to nip your lips and press a kiss to the corner of your mouth. He opened his eyes, ringed gaze, and locked onto the redhead who had not left the room.

Shanks watches the older man kiss you. The display is lewd and possessive. He licks his lips and longs to lay back in the bed, to pepper both of his treasures with sweet kisses and words of endearment of his own. He shifts his weight when he watches Mihawk place sweet pecks on your cheeks, and your brow, and the redhead breaks at the display. He doesn’t want to be left out.

Mihawk stops Shanks in his tracks when he lifts himself to his knees, leaving you a panting mess pinned beneath him. He watches in interest as Dracule swings off the bed and stands beside the other man, “I’m going to help him. Neal almost got him last time.”

You share a snicker with Dracule when the redhead pouts dramatically, lip jutting out as he turns on his heel to stock out of the bedroom. Mihawk gives you one last kiss on the brow, and then he follows Shanks out of the bedroom. With both men gone, you take the chance to lope to the bathroom and freshen up before either man can stop you.

Shanks feeds Sukuna and Hank while Mihawk goes outside to take care of Neal and the three chickens. He gets pecked for his trouble and sends a scathing glare at the rooster. He meets Shanks back inside, and the domesticity of the situation hits him when he catches Shanks filling up the kettle and putting it on the stove. Dracule steps in behind him, gathering mugs and tea bags that he sets out on the counter.

There is a peace in the cottage that neither man has felt other than out in the open sea. It brings back the good and the bad memories, ones that the warlord isn’t quite ready yet to acknowledge. However, being around Shanks so much lately has forced Dracule to look back on their own past and the reason behind why it had fallen apart. Could he take that chance again with the younger man now that he has you to mitigate the rough edges that have built up during their time apart?

A quiet curse gets his attention, and Mihawk watches the younger man, who has become distracted by the baked goods that you must have made before your sickness got too bad. Dracule huffs when he sees that one of the most feared pirates on the seas has gotten his hand literally stuck inside of a cookie jar. The fool had shoved his hand inside the too-small jar and turned to Mihawk with a helpless expression.

“You idiot. What would have you done if I weren’t here? Your crew would have never let you live it down,” Dracule snarked at the redhead but closed the distance and reached out to grab the younger man’s wrist.

“Like you’ll ever let me live this down,” The Emperor teases right back, and Dracule thinks that the younger man is too cheeky for his own good.

Shanks is expecting Mihawk to just yank the jar off, but he is surprisingly gentle as he removes the offending item. He cheers quietly when his hand is free, and then he snags Mihawk by the belt loop so that he can lean in and plant his lips on that clean-shaven cheek. He lingers there, waiting to be pushed off, but Dracule doesn’t move an inch.

When Shanks pulls away, he catches sight of the wistful expression that adorns Mihawk’s face for a split second before the older man schools expression once more, and it causes him to frown in concern. Shanks licks lips, his thoughts running as he recalls the past couple of days.

The closeness that the two of them once shared had easily been obtained again, and having you in the middle made it all the better. You were a perfect match for their warring personalities, easily soothing any hurt feelings when the two men went too far. All it took was a sleepy boys, and then two men were backing down like that. It’s only happened a few times these past few days, you needing to step in, but the thought had cemented itself in Shanks’ mind, and he always fought for the things he wanted.

“Mihawk,” Shanks murmurs and inches closer to the other man, angling his head so that he can catch those beautiful ringed eyes, “C’mon, Baby. Tell me what you’re thinking about.”

His lips twist at the pet name, and Dracule sends a sharp glare at Shanks, but he still does not pull away. He surprises himself and Shanks when he leans in, back bowing as he rests his face in the crook of the redhead's neck, hands coming up to grasp his loose, white shirt.

“Can I trust you again?” Mihawk asks softly, and his next words are laced with hurt, “How can I know that you won't turn to the closest pretty smile when things don’t go your way?”

Shanks freezes in his grasp, a tension blanketing the room, and then the redhead steps away from Mihawk with a stern frown on his face. Hurt swims in his eyes, and he raises his hand to wipe at his mouth, collapsing fingers scrubbing at his scruffy face as the pirate thinks about what to say to that. Shanks may have been drunk that evening, but that night was as clear as day for him. He lost his treasure at that dingy bar, after all.

------------

You sigh as you stand from the tub, grabbing the towel you left hanging on the rack and quickly drying yourself before you catch another cold. Once dry, you dress in a set of soft undergarments and flush at the reminder of the first night you wore the set and the way your warlord peeled it off you.

Mihawk called it lingerie. Whatever that meant, you just liked the way the silky material felt on your skin, and it was modest enough that it covered your stomach and the tops of your thighs. A fluffy robe followed, and you wrapped it close around you, relishing the warmth of the material.

You step out of the bathroom and look around. You could go back to bed, but you can hear speaking in the kitchen, and you are curious. It’s been days since you’ve felt well enough to even walk your own house, so it felt nice to go more than the six feet it took to go from bathroom to bedroom. You slow to a stop just outside the entrance, frozen when you hear it.

“Can I trust you again?” “How can I know that you won't turn to the closest pretty smile when things don’t go your way?”

You swallow harshly, feeling like an intruder in your own home. You don’t know what to do, and you feel too many emotions at once to settle on any of them. You figured that the two men had a past, though not as close as the one that Mihawk could be insinuating. Not that it bothered you, now that you were being forced to acknowledge it. You had no basis on how people outside of your island worked. Happiness was happiness to you. It didn’t matter where it came from.

But had that really happened? Your heart shatters at the hurt in your lover's voice, and you are taking a half step forward before you think better of it. You don’t need to get in the middle of whatever spat the two men were having. You felt like they were more comfortable working this out without you there.

“_, I know you’re out there. Come here,” Shanks calls, but you can hear the underlying order there. He doesn’t expect you to deny him, and you prove him right when you slowly step into the kitchen. You can feel the tension, and it wraps around you like a second skin. Shanks gives you a strained smile, but Mihawk is the one to come to your side and lead you to a chair.

The kettle makes its debut and Dracule busies himself by making tea for himself and his angel. He takes a chanced glance at Shanks, and the other man dips his head in a nod, so Mihawk pours the steaming water into his mug with the lavender tea bag.

“Sorry for interrupting,” You apologize once everyone is settled. Dracule has taken a seat beside you at the kitchen table, and you can’t help but feel like you are in one of your romance novels. Life certainly became exciting after meeting these men, “I can leave for a while? I don’t mind to.”

Shanks smirks at the sincerity in your voice and shakes his head, “No, I think it’s best that both of you hear this. Especially since Mihawk here doesn’t know the full story, either it seems.”

Dracule puffs up like he is about to snap back at the other man, but you raise your hand and give him a look, and the dark-haired man quickly deflates, cowed for now. You put your attention back on Shanks, and the redhead looks even more smitten with the sight of the two of you, and it only cements his decision further.

“Mihawk and I have known each other for a long time. Longer than you’ve been alive, babygirl,” Shanks begins, and it’s then that you realize that Shanks is about to reveal an important part of his and Mihawk’s past. You feel honored to know, but a quick glance at Mihawk has you frowning. The older man looks distinctly uncomfortable, and you butt in before Shanks can continue.

“Is this okay?” You ask Mihawk. You can still recall the day that Dracule had asked you not to ask about his life, that he would reveal to you who he was in time. He was careful that way, and you didn’t want to overstep.

Mihawk looks genuinely surprised at your question, and you watch with growing fondness when you catch a blush across his cheekbones, “Yes. It’s fine. I, too, would like to know what story Shanks is talking about.”

The emperor looks at you for permission to continue, and you nod, sipping your tea. Shanks huffs at his treasures and then begins his story, voice painful but fond, and the redhead as you on the edge of your seat at once.

------------

A year before Shanks loses his arm, two young men stumble into the first bar, the younger of the two spots. The older man rolls his eyes but eagerly follows after his friend, fingers tangled in the unbuttoned shirt that Shanks wears. It had been ages since Shanks had seen his best friend, and he was eager to catch up.

He bought them drink after drink, and hours later, the two had stumbled away from the bar and ended up in a dark corner of the seedy bar. Mihawk shoved Shanks into the wall, mouthing at his neck as the other man hung on for dear life, hips canting and shameless in his want for Dracule.

Drunk on cheap beer and love for his friend/lover, Shanks blurted out the fateful words that would be the end of their relationship. He had missed the older man so much even though it had only been two weeks since he’d seen Mihawk, but every day the ache in his chest grew and grew until Shanks couldn’t hold it in anymore. He needed Mihawk to know how he felt.

“I love you,” the pirate captain breathes, Join my crew, Mihawk. I love you.”

Shanks’ admission is so soft it’s but a whisper, but Mihawk still hears it. Those wondering hands freeze on Shanks, and the redhead is left, confused and a little hurt when Dracule pulls away from him.

The other man won’t look at him. Ringed eyes downcast and looking anywhere but the younger man. Shanks reaches for the other man, heart seizing up and tears gathering in his eyes when Mihawk takes a half step away, just far enough that Shanks can’t reach him, “Mihawk..?”

Panic had shot through the older man the moment his friend brought up his feelings. Shanks had been the first to break through his walls, bringing them down with a friendly smile and a mischievous twinkle in his eye. Dracule had opened himself up to the other boy, spilling his secrets and his fears, but never once had he tacked an emotion onto what he felt for Shanks. It terrified him to put a label on anything.

“I- I can’t right now, Red,” Mihawk croaked, and then he was gone, coat flapping behind him as he ran away from his friend for the first time in his life. Shanks watches him go, tears streaming down his cheeks and mouth hanging open in disbelief. He slides down the wall, chest torn open as sobs wreak his frame. He doesn’t know how much time has passed when his attention is taken by a pretty lady with dark hair and hazel eyes who grins down at him.

She buys him a drink and Shanks cries on her shoulder, draping himself over the kind lady who coos at him and kindy says that maybe Mihawk just needs some time to come to terms with his own feelings. There is a commotion at the front of the bar, but Shanks is far too drunk to pay much attention, though, and if he had, the pirate would have seen the stricken look on Mihawk’s face before the other man turned and fled.

Mihawk would do his best to avoid Shanks in the coming years, at least until the warlord came upon a boy in a familiar straw hat.

---------

It’s silent when Shanks finishes his tale, and you find yourself at a loss for words. All of this animosity, and all over a misunderstanding and a man who runs away from his feelings. You don’t have to wait long before Mihawk stands, booted feet loud on the hardwood floor as he strides across the room. He looks furious and heartbroken, all rolled up in a big angsty ball.

“You were all over that woman, and you’re telling me that you didn’t sleep with her?” Mihawk hisses, “You’re taking me for a fool.”

Shanks scoffs, displeasure flashing across his face, “I knew you would never believe me. It’s why I stopped chasing after you when you kept avoiding me. Then you became a warlord, and so much time had passed, that I thought. Why bother?”

The Emperor runs his hand through his hair, making the shaggy locks stand on end. His voice is full of bitter resentment when he continues, “But no, I didn’t sleep with her. I didn’t touch anyone else for a long time. Guess I wanted to make sure that you really meant to stay away.”

Mihawk looks like he’s been struck, and he swallows harshly, taking a step back as his face flushes, brow scrunching as he takes in what the other man is saying. A self-deprecating laugh escapes him. He turns away from Shanks and sits back down, leaning back and pinching the bridge of his nose in frustration. With the way his and Shanks’ haki are still intertwined, Darcule can tell that the other man isn't lying. All this time, and it had been him that had been the problem, the fool who couldn't accept the sight of Shanks wrapped around another person. If he had stayed, then maybe their lives would have turned out differently.

A small hand on his shoulder is what gets his attention. You have stood from your seat and rounded the table, standing behind him as your hands settle on his shoulders. You rub the tense muscles, and Mihawk finds himself relaxing under your familiar touch. You kiss the top of his head, lips lingering there for a moment as you lock eyes with Shanks.

The younger man looks distraught, body tense, and you wonder if Shanks will leave now that he has said his piece. You aren't sure what to say, so you decide to keep quiet and stand in silent support of the man who had found you first. To you, both men have been wronged. You just hope that they can work it out for their sake.

Mihawk looks up when he hears the sound of heavy footsteps, and his eyes widen when Shanks sinks to one knee, hand coming up to clutch at Mihawk's hand that sits on his lap. He looks up and catches Mihawk’s gaze, and then your own, “I don't want us to linger on our past, it isn't fair to _, or to us.”

“Even after that night, you have never stopped being one of my precious people, Mihawk, and I would like to give you that title too, Babygirl. If you'd have me.”

@writingmysanity @djbumblebee @goth-mami-writer @myradiaz @fluffybunnyu @bookandstar @foggyturtleknightangel @browneyedhufflepuff @anastasiyax

#fanfic #one piece #reader insert #fluff #dracule mihawk #mihawk x reader #hawkeye mihawk #opla mihawk #mihawk x you #mihawk x y/n #mihawk x shanks #mishanks #shanks x reader #red haired shanks #opla shanks x you #shanks x you #opla shanks x reader #shanks x mihawk #peppermint tea

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yelenasdiary · 9 months

Note

Alright friend, so when I was watching Hawkeye and it's the scene where he's talking with Kate about the cost of being a hero. It gave me an idea, so I was thinking kate, yelena and reader are on a mission to scout an abandoned hydra base or something. Kate and reader enter a room when they are looking at a computer, reader hears a bomb. They both look around and when they find it it's about to explode. So reader pushes kate out of the room and shuts the door to protect her or if you like it better I was also thinking of reader getting shot saving kate or something while fighting hydra agents. Anyway, however you want reader to get hurt. So then at the compound in the med bay, reader is on life support when kate calls clint and just starts breaking down saying how she understands the cost now. Clint ends up coming to the compound to help kate. Reader ends up being ok in the end though cause kate deserves to be happy. I was thinking for a title you could call it the cost or something like that. Sorry sounds cliché I know, especially the title. Anyway, you're the best 💖 Also bonus points for having reader be yelena's younger sister and sorry if I rambled to much

The Cost

Pairing: Kate Bishop x Super Soldier! Reader

Summary: After saving Kate from a bomb, it opens the archer’s eyes to a much, much bigger picture about her new job.

AC: Thank you for sending this! I’m so happy to do some more Kate content, I made reader a Super Soldier for this, I hope that’s okay x

Not a second thought went through your mind when you pushed Kate out of the room that held the data you and Kate were collecting. The bomb went off not even a second after Kate was pushed to safety, not leaving you a chance to get yourself to safety as the building fell on top of you. Kate was speechless as she searched the rubble for you, back up was on the way but even when they arrived, Kate didn't stop looking for you.

When you were found, all Kate could see was how much blood covered your body and instantly she thought the worst. Tears filled her eyes as the others made sure to get you to safety and take you back to the compound's medical center. Kate was beside herself as she waited outside your medical bay while the medical team did their best to keep you alive. If it wasn't for the fact that you were a super soldier, there would be no way you'd have survived the blast of the bomb.

It didn't matter how many times Kate replayed the situation over and over in her head, she knew you saved her life when you pushed her out the window of that room. Anytime Kate saw a nurse come out of the medical room, she would stop them and ask for an update but just like any hospital, they couldn't give the young archer any update until the doctor had completed the operation. Hours would pass before Kate would have any news on your condition.

"For now, they're in a medical induced coma to help their body heal. We won't know anything further until they wake up" Bruce explained to the team, but more so to Kate who felt sick to her stomach with worry.

You've been Kate's work partner for a little over a year now but only recently over the course of a couple of months have the two of you kindled a romance. Its new and exciting to the two of you which is why nobody else knew about it just yet. Besides, you'd be lying if you said you were slightly scared of what Clint might say considering how close he and Kate are. She's basically his adopted daughter and he's very protective of her.

"But they're going to be okay, right?!" Kate asked with a worried tone, she just needed Bruce to assure her that you were okay because she called the one person, she knew would help her through this situation.

"Right now, yes but until they wake up, we won't know if there us anything further that needs attention" he replied. It wasn't exactly jumping for joy news, but it was enough for Kate to calm down for a moment and excuse herself form the room.

"Clint, I need you to come to the compound, please" Kate's broken voice spoke through the phone.

"Is everything okay?!" Clint asked in an instant worried tone.

"I just…I need you here, I understand now" Kate replied.

"Understand what? Kate, are you okay? What's happened?"

"It all happened so fast, we were just getting data from this Hydra base when Y/n noticed an active bomb….it was already too late to run, they pushed me out the window before I had a chance to help them" Kate broke as she recalled the events that took place. Tears streamed down her face as she hoped you'd be okay. "The building just came down, there wasn't anything I could do Clint" Kate added in a sob, her words breaking with every tear that streamed down her face.

Clint gave the young avenger a moment of silence, already packing his overnight bag and writing a note for Laura to see later. "Kate, I'm on my way, okay?" he spoke, breaking the silence.

Kate nodded, even though she knew Clint couldn't see her action. "I need them to be okay" she sobbed.

"I know sweetheart, I know" Clint replied, not afraid to show her his caring side. "I'm on my way, just hang in there for me, can you do that?" he added.

"Yeah" Kate wiped her tears even though it felt pointless as more tears filled the place of the last ones.

----

Clint arrived and found Kate sitting by your bedside when her hand gently resting on top of your left, her thumb gently stroking your knuckles. The thought of you knowing she was by your side helped calm her wondering thoughts as she would tell you repeatedly how much she needed you to be okay.

"How are they?" Clint asked, quietly taking a few steps into the room. Kate looked up at him, her exhausted expression worried him. "Bruce said we won't know anything else until they wake up" Kate explained.

"What about you? Have you been checked out?"

"I'm fine, just a couple of cuts and bruises" Kate replied before she looked back at you, "they saved me Clint, without a second thought….they just pushed me out the window and I'm not sure how I didn't understand it before, but now I get it…this is the cost" Kate looked back at Clint with teary eyes, "I could lose them" she added.

"You can't think that way" Clint replied, placing a hand on her shoulder as he looked into her eyes, "yeah, this is the cost and there is a chance you or somebody on your team could lose their life but that's what makes you fight harder so that doesn't happen. Y/n's first thought was to protect you, to keep you safe and they did that. They are willing to risk their life to make sure you're okay and this is the cost they took. When it comes to life-or-death moments, there isn't time to think, you just do. This is why we train as hard as we do and why are so annoying with going over mission details to help prevent things like this happening." Clint added.

Kate's tears broke and once again formed another stream down her face as Clint wrapped his arms around the younger woman, holding her close for comfort.

----

6 months later and you were back on your feet like nothing happened, a few scars to remember but you made a full recovery.

"What's on your mind pretty?" you asked, breaking Kate's train of thought as she staired into space. "Huh? Oh, just you" she replied with a soft smile.

"That looked like some intense thoughts" you chuckled, "good ones I hope" you added. Kate wandered over to you and straddled your lap before softly pressing her lips against yours, "promise me you won't scare me like that again?" she spoke.

"What? Bring you back from your thoughts?" you asked, gently rubbing her back.

"No, I mean" Kate paused for a moment, "I don't want to lose you, ever! Clint told me something a couple of years back, you know, before I became an avenger. This job comes with a cost an-"

"Baby, listen to me" you stopped Kate's worrying thoughts leaving her lips, "it's going to take much more than a bomb explosion to get rid of me, I knew there was no way the two of us were going to get out of that room safely and I knew I'd have a much higher fighting chance at surviving the bomb because of the serum" you couldn't help by brush a lock of her long dark hair behind her ear.

"I wake up every morning worried that something might happen to you on a mission or just by doing day to day things, I wish I could protect you from every single thing but it's not how life goes but if I can protect you, I will, without a second thought" you added while looking into her eyes.

"But what if one day you don't make it? That's what I'm worried about baby" Kate replied as her hands rested peacefully on your shoulders. "Kate, honey, let's not think about the what ifs, let's think about the now. I'm here and I'm okay. You're here and you're okay, we have each other and to me, that's all that matters. I'm not going anywhere, I promise" you cupped her face gently, pulling her closer to your lips as you kissed her deeply. "I love you" Kate whispered between kisses. A smile tugged at your lips before you kissed her once more, "I love you too baby" you replied.

#kate bishop #kate bishop x reader #fanfiction #marvel #hawkeye

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ohtobeleah · 1 year

Note

it’s against orders. But he also doesn’t ask either….

The amount of times I listened to Adele’s Hello while daydreaming Hawk running down the halls is just ridiculous— it’ll be in my next years Spotify wrapped… but like, try it. It’s worth it. ANYWAY, thankyou for being so patient with me this week, I’ve been fighting some major writers block. As always—here the To Have & To Hold series Masterlist

***~***~***~***~***~***~***~***~***~***~***~***~**

“The Tomahawk impact alone should completely decimate the enemy runaway.” You looked over the terrain of the enemy airfield map in the war room with admirals Beau and Bates and Pete Mitchell. “You’re looking at total annihilation, I’d bet good money that only a select percentage of pilots would be stupid enough or crazy enough to manoeuvre an aircraft off the runaway after we’re done with it.” The plan was simple—give the chosen pilots enough of a head start so that by the time enemy pilots had scrambled their jets? Your pilots would be touching down safely back on the carrier. “I don’t think you’ll have a problem with enemy aircraft intercepting unless they’re already in the air, that however—I can’t be much assistance with.”

“You’ve done a great job Lieutenant Commander Seresin.” Admiral Beau praised you for your knowledge and dedication to the detachment. “I’ll be sure to make the appropriate calls if all is successful.” It had been something in the cards for some time now, another promotion. Ever since you and Jake had broken up you’d thrown yourself into your work. Deciding that rising through the ranks was a better alternative then letting yourself slip into a hole you couldn’t drag yourself out if.

You were in disbelief when you actually made Lieutenant Commander. It felt all too surreal, you’d been acknowledged for your work on the Heasmen project. You had been the overseeing analyst on a covert operation that saw the United States Navy and Marine Corps deploy armed forces over and under enemy waters to provide support and aid for those seeking refuge and asylum. It had been your idea to utilise the resources that submarines held. Deep diving to monitor suspicious vessels. The Australian Navy had provided immense assistance, along with New Zealand. It had been the biggest operation you’d worked on, especially with such a high stakes roll. But this special detachment? This took that cake for high stakes. Ten fold.

“Thankyou Lieutenant Commander, that will be all.” Admiral Beau dismissed you as quickly as he’d requested your assistance in explaining an in depth analysis of your final report. Collecting your papers you pressed your lips together and nodded in agreement that you’d been dismissed. “Oh and Seresin one more thing before you go.”

“Yes sir?” You stood to attention, knowing your place.

“I wouldn’t let your husband dictate your next career advancement, Jake Seresin is a fine pilot but you my dear, are an exceptional analyst that the finest commanders at Navcon would fight over to have you on their service.”

“Will that be all Admiral?” You didn’t really know how to properly process what Admiral Beau had just said. If you were honest with yourself you would have asked for his justification. But you held your tongue, knowing that to start a war with your superiors now would be a disservice to your career.

“As you were Hawkeye.” Cyclone almost shooed you out of the room, his attention immediately turning back to Admiral Bates and Captain Mitchel the second he was finished addressing you.

With a heavy sigh you closed the door to the war room behind you. Jake had been waiting for you outside, just down the hall a little. Sending him a soft smile you waved his way as he tilted his head up at the sound of the door clicking shut.

“You don’t have anything better to do than to wait around for me Lieutenant Seresin?” Since stepping onto the carrier you’d been in work mode. Formal titles, ranks, appropriate greetings and dismissals. You were the definition of prim and proper, a walking talking propaganda poster girl for the US Navy if there had ever been one.

“What else is there to do on this tin can other than to grovel at my wife’s feet.” Jake however? Well he’d been the same as always. Irritating and infuriating. For the past four days he’d been giving you the space you had asked him for. The time you needed to process the idea that you might be the third person on Jake's priority list. The first being his unborn child, the second of course the mothers child. But as much as it pained you to admit at least this time you had made it into the top five. “Feel like I haven’t seen you at all these past few days.”

“I’ve been working—“ Jake was hot on your tail as midshipmen and other ranking sailors stepped aside for you as you made your way down the hall. Thanking them softly everytime you noticed.

“So you haven’t been avoiding me?” Jake asked as his hand slipped around your hip to help guide you into your office. It wasn’t all that big, more the size of a broom closet than a war room—but it was enough.

“I said I've been working.” You teased as you slapped Jake's hands away from where it had briefly made its home on your hip. “I didn’t say what on—actively avoiding you is harder than it appears, Lieutenant.”

“So you’re still mad at me then?” Jake mumbled under his breath as he watched you walk around to your desk and plop down with a frustrated huff. “You’re gonna have to talk to me sooner or later.”

“Jake I’m not mad at you hun.” You explain as you sat back in your chair, swinging around to face your husband. “I just need to compartmentalise and focus on this mission before I focus on the fact you might be a father.”

“I’m telling you now, if I’m a dad I want a sample of my sperm sent off to a lab somewhere because those little guys are the key to world salvation.” You couldn’t help but to laugh as Jake dropped down to his knees to match your height as you sat on your chair. “I’m not denying I had inadequate relations with her, baby I’m an open book—anything you wanna know I’ll tell you but you gotta believe me when I say I never came, I wore protection and I was inside her for a total of one single minute.”

“You’d still manage under the circumstances—“ There had been something you’d been thinking about over the last few days that had been keeping you up at night. In all your time with Jake Seresin he’d never managed to get you pregnant. You weren’t currently on birth control and you certainly hadn’t been careful when it came to Jake since being in North island together. Nor had you been actively preventing anything prior to your marriage breakdown. So it begged the question, what was wrong with you? “You’d find a way–”

“I promise I'll take the DNI test as soon as this is all over with yeah?” Jake cupped your face as he gently planted a supple kiss against your lips. You hummed in response to the warmth his lips brought to yours. “But I already know it's not a match, Mrs Seresin.”

“I'd prefer to keep an open mind until the facts are presented in front me.” You let your forehead rest against Jakes as the pads of his thumbs gently ran across your cheeks.

“Great, so that means you can stop actively avoiding me at all costs and actually come grab a coffee in the galley with me?” Jake beamed that cheeky smile he’d had since you’d first met him all those years ago. It felt like a lifetime ago–the bracer-having, socially awkward underdog who’d stalk your locker in the morning in hopes he’d get to share a quick hello with you. It felt like you’d jump realities and landed in an alternative universe. Jake Seresin was no longer the socially awkwards bracer-having kid who stalked your locker. But he was still the love of your life.

“I know it probably seems like an excuse, but I really can’t– I have to submit my reports to Navcon.” Jake let his head fall as a solemn sigh escaped his chest. Standing to his feet with a dramatic groan, Jake eyed you down. “I'm serious.”

“You know there's a real possibility I could be going on this mission tomorrow, right?” The silence that fell between you felt as heavy as ever. Thick and all consuming as your heart raced at the very thought. Nodded as you stood to wrap your arms around your husband's waist. He let out a soft oof at the connection your affection brought before he reciprocated the gesture. Kissing the top of your head as his arms came up to wrap around your shoulders.

“I know, so that's why I want you to come to my cabin tonight.” Jake couldn't help the almost gasp he exclaimed. There were perks that came with your job title and subsequent rank. One of those perks being your own living quarters aboard carriers and frigates. “After dinner, bring your overnight bag.”

“Look at you, miss prim and proper.” Jake had noticed early on during this deployment how much your attitude had changed. Everything was by the book from the second you stepped onto the carrier. But this? This was very not so by the book of you. “There's a strict no fraternisation policy–”

“Okay, fine–” You pulled away with a smirk. “Invitation revoked, that will be all Lieutenant you can–” Before you could finish your sentence Jake was pulling you into him by your waist as he crashed his lips against yours. It felt desperate, needy, loving.

“I'll be there after dinner, yeah?” You nodded in response. “Hope you like a good spoon Hawkeye, those beds aren't standard issue singles.” Jake teased as you pushed him gently towards your door. “Alright, alright, I'm going, I'm going.” With one final kiss to your cheek Jake left you standing in your office alone, sneaking out into the hallways as discreetly as he possibly could. There was a strict no fraternisation policy that did extend to husband and wife. You two were no exception to the rule while onboard.

“Hey Hangman!” You shouted down the hall after Jake, turning back to look at you with a loving look in his eye he gave to only two women in his life. His mother and you. “You look good!” Jake chuckled as he looked down at himself, he was just in his flight suit. Nothing special except the small golden heart pin he wore over his heart. A symbolic gesture some men liked to wear whenever they couldn't wear their wedding bands. Jake however, had his tattooed, but he just wanted everyone to know that you held his heart.

“I am good Hawkeye, I'm always good.”

***~***~***~***~***~***~***~***~

Jake stood next to Bradley in the line for food at the pass. Two options were on the menu, sausages and mash or lentil curry with naan. Barely looked at Jake and Jake looked at Bradley, both silently agreeing to get one serving of each option and go halves.

“You talk to Chaos yet?” Jake asked as he walked with Rooster to the nearest empty seats available side by side.

“She made her point, wouldn’t want to drag her down now would I?” Rooster muttered as he slid his tray along the table. Sitting with a thud as Jake frowned. It had been four days since he’d spoken to her.

“You know she only said that stuff to keep you safe right?” Jake explained as he dug into his curry. “You know, you and Chaos are probably two of the most dysfunctional couples I’ve ever met.” Rooster couldn’t believe what he was hearing.

“I’m sorry? Coming from you!? Jesus Hangman guys in glass houses—“

“Should throw bigger stones.” Jake cut Rooster off with a quick witted comeback. “Look, I know me and Hawk have had it rough—but I’ve never treated her like she wasn’t my problem.” Rooster listened as Jake reached over for a spoonful of mash. “She’s a pain in the arse man but she’s always been and always will be, my pain in the arse.”

“I don’t see Hawkeye telling Mav to not consider you as a candidate.” Jake verbally scoffed as he choked on his potato. Laughing because that’s exactly what you had done. “What?”

“Funny you mention it man—she did, she told him to his face before Bob and Chaos went down with that bird strike, said something along the lines of if he chose me for this mission and I didn’t come back she’d blame him.” Rooster couldn’t believe what he was hearing as Jake spoke with a mouthful of food. “She played the mental mind fuck, knows he already blames himself for one persons death, was he really willing to double it—like I said, she’s my pain in the arse.” Rooster watched as Jake shrugged it off. Digging into his dinner like he had somewhere to be.

“Yeah, but she didn’t say you weren’t ready—“ Rooster hadn’t been able to swallow his own pride for five minutes to just think clearly for a moment. Jake knew that, he’d been there.

“Well would you have listened if she said the truth?” You’d told Jake to his face time and time again what had been a contributing factor, if not the most pinocol point of your marriage breakdown and he still hadn’t listened. He knew if Chaos had just told the truth about how she didn’t want Rooster going just so she had peace of mind? He would have shrugged it off and reassured her everything would be okay—a promise he was in absolutely no position to make. “No, you wouldn’t have.”

“Why don’t you focus on your own relationship problems—“ Rooster groaned as he pushed his tray away. “Dude, I’m not even hungry now.” Jake just laughed softly as the pair sat amongst the crew of the Leyte Gulf.

“Just talk to her, you’ll regret it if you don’t and something goes south.” With a quick pay to the shoulder, Jake was pushing himself out of his seat, standing as he eyed Rooster down. “She loves you, I understand why she wouldn’t want you on his mission—she just buried her dad Bradshaw, she’s probably scared beside herself wondering if she’ll have to bury you too.”

***~***~***~***~***~***~***~

“Are you sure this is okay?” As Jake had mentioned earlier, the beds aboard the Leyte Gulf were not designed for two fully grown adults. But you found a compromise where you could. “I can always move–”

“This is perfect hun.” Jake wasn't oblivious to the pet name you’d so effortlessly called him earlier in the afternoon. “I’m as comfortable as I’m gonna get in this tiny ass bed, at least I’m sharing it with you.” Jake was lying on his back, you? You laid with your head on his chest, legs falling between his as you drew absent minded non identifiable shapes into his exposed shoulder. “What about you? Are you good?”

“I'm as good as ever.” You yawned out a soft hum in response. “Just not feeling all that great about what may come tomorrow.” There was a sudden change in gears that Jake felt the need to discuss while he had you here against him. His arms wrapped around you, the entire world in the palms of his hands.

“Uh, yeah about that–'' He didn't know how to bring up the topic lightly, so Jake thought just ripping the bandaid off would be more sufficient instead of beating around the bush. “If something does happen, I just want you to know that you're the sole beneficiary of my last will and testament.” You knew you had continued to be Jake's emergency contact through your separation, but you thought for sure he would have taken you out of his will. All naval aviators were required by the institution they worked for to have a living will. Incase of the worst case scenario. “I never changed it.”

“What about your parents?” You asked as you held back tears, it was already too late though, Jake could feel them falling against his sternum. “I'm sure you could have written them into it.”

“That's the fun thing about making a will love, I decide who gets all my assets.” Jake held you just a little bit tighter as he spoke. “Never doubted I wanted everything to go to you if I met an untimely demise.” You couldn't hold back the softest of chuckles at how morbid this conversation had become. You had reached a whole new level of pillow talk. “So if something happens, which it won’t, just know–that all that I am, all that I have, I have because of you and I wouldn't want that to go unknown.”

“I want to so desperately believe nothing will happen but I just have such a bad feeling in the pit of my gut that this just isn't going to go well.” You sobbed as you crawled up Jake's chest a little in search of his lips. Pressing your against his lovingly. “You promise me, nothing reckless, nothing but by the book you hear me Seresin?”

“I promise–” Jake kissed you back as he flipped you onto your back. His lips never leaving yours as his hands roamed your body, ridding you of your sleep shirt as your fingers snapped back the elastic of his boxer briefs. “I have every intention of coming home to you.”

“Jake–” You moaned almost angelically as his lips trialled from yours to your neck. The exposed supple skin sensitive to his butterfly like kisses turned something more hungry and lust filled. “Baby–”

“I love you so much Mrs’ Seresin.” Jake's assault on your neck continued down the valley of your breasts. “You are the love of my life, my entire world.” Sweet nothings were escaping every chance they got whenever Jake's lips left your skin. Knees bent either side of his body as he shimmied further down the bed closer to your core. “I wouldn't mind my last meal being you.” He teased as you pushed at his shoulder with a scoff. Watching as he lurched forward at you to kiss your lips again. Smiling and laughing against one another as your hands cupped his cheeks.

“I love you so much.” You beamed as he wiped fallen tears from your cheeks. So worried about the unknown of tomorrow. For a moment Jake just drank in the sight of you, committing you to his memory for later when he might have to face a harsh reality. He’d do anything to be a love or a sacrifice. Knowing just how much you cared, how much you truly loved him though? Had Jake Seresin questioning everything he ever knew about flying. He'd been reckless before and he'd lost you before. He wasn't willing to gamble you again. Not a chance.

“I love you so much more.”

***~***~***~***~***~***~***~

You made a decision earlier that morning that you didn't want to be present for when Mav made his choices for his foxtrot teams and Chaos’s wingman. You didn't want Jake to see you crumble in the event he was chosen. That's what would've inevitably happened. There was no possible way your knees wouldn't have buckled and your heart would have stopped beating if you heard his name called out as he stood amongst his fellow peers.

You'd woken up in each other's arms, Jake was more than reluctant to let you go when your alarm sounded at the ass crack of dawn. He watched you with hooded eyes as you slowly but surely sunk down on him- taking his length in your mouth before completely disappearing under the covers.

He promised to return the favour when all of this was over, a promise he swore by just as seriously as he swore by the fact there was no more wiggle room to play hero. It was get in and get out. Play by the book time.

Jake wasn't going to deny to anyone that when he wasn't chosen that it didn't hurt. Sure, he'd specifically asked not to be chosen–but to know his superiors thought he wasn't the best did sting just a little. There was still a major part of him that considered himself to be the best at what he did, so when he wasn't called upon? That was a hit to the ego he’d have to take on the chin.

“What's the verdict Lieutenant?” You asked as you heard heavy footsteps approaching on the flight deck of the aircraft carrier. You’d snuck out of the bridge with a cup of camomile tea to calm your nerves. Looking over the railing at the vast ocean you sailed across. Not a wave in sight. It was oddly eerie–like the calm before the storm.

“Dagger Spare, Lieutenant Commander Seresin.” Jake stood behind you as he held his shoulders tall and puffed his chest. You took a small sip of your tea before you turned against the wind to face him. You felt like you could breathe again for the first time in weeks. The unknown still lingered in the background but at least your husband wasn't chosen specifically. You could manage him being a spare. In most cases a spare was never used, they were just there so that protocol could be met if in the event something unfortunate were to happen. A spare never left the ground, admirals were always hesitant to send more fighter pilots into action after events turned.

“Is this the first time in your career you haven't been the best at something, Hangman?” You asked sincerely as you held your coffee mug full of tea between your palms.

“I specifically remember a certain someone threatening my Captain.” Jake chuckled as he held out his hand, balling it into a fist as you connected his knuckles with yours. First bumping the reality that had been Jake Seresin accepting he wasn't the best at everything. “But, yeah i think so–well, if i'm gonna start a steak here I'll admit right now I probably haven't been the best husband on earth.” You both laughed together for a brief moment before you saw Chaos and Bob talking out of the corner of your eye.

“You should probably go talk to Chaos, she looks a little spooked.”

“Chaos and spooked don't coexist in the same sentence Hawk.” Jake beamed as he tucked his flight helmet under his arm, resting it against his torso. “But yeah, I'll go talk to her.” Jake knew he had to fix whatever burning bridge was left with Chaos before it was too late. Lead by example for Roosters sake. He wasn't even sure if Bradley had pulled his thumb out enough to talk to the women who held his heart. “I'll see you when this is all over, yeah?” Jake's eyes lingered on you as you nodded in response. Embracing you as you did him.

“Don't you ever forget that in my book? You’ll always be the best there is, Hangman.'' It meant more than you could ever know, considering you’d left him once before because he couldnt put his ego aside for one second to see his actions were killing you. “Come back to me in one piece.”

“Go show em why they call you Hawkeye.” Jake whispered before he let you go, kissing your forehead one more time before he turned away. “Love you for infinity baby!”

***~***~***~***~***~***~***~

It was all a whirlwind as you stood back from the commotion that was the bridge. Admirals and officials, commanding officers and operations specialists were all working in tandem overseeing the mission that held incredibly high steaks. You couldn’t really hear the commotion going on around you because the thoughts of existential dread that filled your head ping ponged like rouge Thoughts of what ifs and

“Dagger spare, standing by.” Jake's voice came through the comms and suddenly you were thrown into the mix again. The weight of the world fell on your shoulders as you stepped up beside the admirals and listened to all the daggers confirm their positions before launching off the aircraft carrier one by one. Before? Everything had felt like it was playing out before you in slow motion—but now? It felt like someone had just pressed fast forward on an old video tap.

“How are the nerves Lieutenant Commander?” Admiral Bates asked as he watched you cautiously swallowed the lump in your throat. Nodding briefly you responded under your breath—you were both meant to be silent, paying attention to your surroundings.

“Uh, once I know those Tomahawks successfully destroy the base I’ll be peachy keen, sir.”

“I can tell just by the way you're standing Hawkeye that you’re not where you want to be.” You hadn’t had all that many interactions with Admiral Bates up until the point. Any time you’d ever been in a briefing you had spoken directly to Admiral Beau. Solomon would be there, however he reminded you of a wallflower. He’d just read the terrain and soak up all the information he could like a sponge. “You feel like you’re supposed to be somewhere else.”

“Dagger attack—“ You both heard Chaos confirm over the radio, within a millisecond of her voice echoing through the bridge the tomahawks you’d been the brains behind were launching in specifically orchestrated positions.

“Hmm—“ You learned your throat as you turned a little more on your heels to face Solomon Bates. “You said it.”

“Well, say you could snap your fingers and be wherever you wanted to be, I bet you’d still feel this way? Not in the right place.” To a certain degree Admiral Bates had been right. If there was a place you’d rather be right now it would be down on the tarmac with your husband. But even being by his side wouldn’t wash away the pain of worrying if he’d be called upon as a spare. Sure, it wasn’t all that likely—but you’d been chewing your tongue long enough to draw blood at just thought. “My point is you can’t get so hung up on where you’d rather be that you forget how to make the most of where you are.”

“Thirty seconds to tomahawk impact on enemy airstrip.” One of the operations specialists confirmed as he watched the radar screen. “Tomahawk impact in, three, two—“ You held your breath as you watched the satellite image from the enemy airfield blow up into smithereens as the Tomahawks exploded one after the other. “We have impact! Enemy runway is destroyed!” The entire bridge cheered and turned their attention towards you as he felt an immense amount of pride wash over you.

“Live a little Lieutenant Commander Seresin, you probably just scored yourself a ticket into the big leagues.” Solomon was the first to congratulate the success of the tomahawk strike by offering you his hand. Taking it firmly, you shook for a few seconds. “I look forward to seeing what else you can bring to the table.” The surprising offer of a promotion quickly became a second thought once the daggers had reached the straight away. All eyes had turned back to the monitors and radios that took you everything anyone ever needed to know. That the mission was so far so good.

But nothing ever really lasts forever now does it? everything that you’d been celebrating came crashing down around your feet moments after it had been confirmed that a direct hit had been made on the uranium enrichment plant. You felt like your feet had been glued to the floor as you listened to the Chaos ensuing around you.

Chaos had been hit by a surface to air missile. You hadn’t known your heart could hurt so badly for another person ever in your life as you listened to Rooster panic and repeat the same question over and over again.

“Dagger One, do you copy!?” You weren't afraid to let your tears stream down your cheeks as you moved closer to the monitor. “Do you copy?” Listening to Bradley beg Chaos for a response of any kind made you want to throw up. How did things go so wrong?

“Get them back to the carrier, now—“ Admiral Beau ordered as operations officers jumped to his demand.

“All daggers flow to ECP, you have bandits headed for you.”

“What about Chaos!” Rooster shouted when he’d heard his direct orders coming from the bridge.

“Tell him there’s nothing he can do for Chaos! Not in a goddamn F-18!” Admiral Beau had grown impatient with insubordination, that was clear as day. Especially after Chaos had stolen a miti million dollar F-18 and taken it for a fuck you lap around the simulation course. But it was what you heard next that had you whipping around fast enough to give yourself whiplash. Jake's voice loud and clear over the comms.

“Dagger spare requesting permission to launch and fly aircover.” Your eyes were as wide as ever and full of tears as you turned to Admiral Beau. He was thinking about it, but only a millisecond of time. Shaking his head at you, he knew you were holding in a reluctant breath.

“Negative spare.” One of the Operational officers confirmed the negative status from behind where you stood glued to the floor. Everything had come crashing down so dramatically and within the blink of an eye. The bridge that had already been chaotic and hectic has become even more so now that you had a pilot down.

“Launch search and rescue—“ Admiral Bates tried to persuade Cyclone but again it had been to no avail.

“But sir, Chaos is still out there?” Shocked that Admiral Beau would willingly leave her behind so easily without a second thought truly took you aback. “She could be alive, she has to be sir– this is Chaos we’re talking about.”

“We are not losing anyone else today!” He shouted at you as you flinched back in shock. Not expecting that kind of response. “Lieutenant Kazanksy made her bed, now she can sleep in it alone.”

***~***~***~***~***~***~***~

Jake Seresin had never been a team player. He'd never played well with others and he always had to be the best at everything he did. He got that attribute from his father–nothing he ever did was good enough, so pushing the boundaries of what greatness was had truly become a grey area. Jake knew no boundaries for just how high his ego could fly until you had clipped his wings and stolen his heart in one foul swoop.

He’d been sitting in the cockpit of his F-18 just listening to the whitenoise that had been Admiral Beau barking orders left and right and you giving him a little attitude. Jake hadnt taken it well when he’d been given a negative response to his request to fly aircover, so much so he refused to leave his cockpit until there was further information on the whereabouts of Rooster and Chaos from satellite imaging.

Rooster had gone after chaos without a second thought, Jake knew the moment that he was giving even a sliver of hope that they were alive he’d be taking off in search of them. Fuck direct orders, those were his people. His friends and colleagues. Jake Seresin also knew what he was risking when he’d committed to that decision. He sat in his cockpit rubbing the tattooed wedding band that wrapped around his ring finger praying to whatever god would be willing to hear him if something were to happen to him? That you’d be okay in a life after him.

“You gonna get out or are you just gonna sit there?” Phoenix asked as she approached Jake F-18, jumping up onto the wing as Bob stood on the tarmac. Both him and Fanboy looked beyond defeated. It wasn't supposed to end like this, only two daggers returning instead of four. It was meant to be all or nothing. “Hangman?”

“Im going after them–”

“Jake, they both went down in enemy territory.” Natasha tried to be the voice of reason. “There's no one left to go after.” They hadn’t long touched down after having followed their direct orders. “It would be another suicide mission to go after them now, Bradshaw–he wouldnt have wanted to live in a world without Choas.” Jake could hear Phoenix speaking, he saw her lips moving and her expressions twisting. But he wasn't listening, his mind was already made up. “If you need to find solace in something let it be that, at least they're together now.”

“Promise me that if I don't make it back you'll make sure Y/n doesn't blame herself.” Natasha wasn't blind to the look in Jake's eyes. “She’s everything I have Nix but I gotta do this to prove to myself I'm on the team, I’m not just on the outskirts looking in–” Phoenix didnt know how to respond as Jake cleared his throat. “Get Coyote to stop her from doing anything stupid if she try’s something.”

“Whos’ meant to stop you?”

“No one Phoenix, no one can stop me.”

***~***~***~***~***~***~***~

“Sir, we’re receiving a signal from Roosters ESAT—but there seems to be a malfunction.” You’d somewhat tuned out until you heard one of the Operations Specialist interject as he watched his monitor light up with a signal showing Roosters symbols.

“Have you lost him?” You asked as you stepped up behind him, frowning as you locked eyes with Rooster ESAT.

“No, he’s supersonic—“

“He’s airborne.” Admiral Bates raised his brows in shock as he turned to Beau who shared a look of confusion just as much as you did. He couldn't believe what he was seeing.

“In what?” He asked, almost scoffing at the thought. You were both thinking the same thing–there was only one person who could have taken off from a cratered airfield. Chaos kazansky.

“Sir, overwatch reports an F-14 Tomcat is airborne and on course for our position.” Something sunk in the pit of your stomach as you noticed Jake's radio signal had cut out. You knew your husband well enough to know he was irrational at the best of times, but was he really about to do what you thought he was?

“It can't be.” Admiral Bates shook his head as he tried to wrap his head around what was happening. “It just can’t be–”

“Chaos—“ You mumbled under your breath as you snatched one of the handheld radios from the bridge. “Permission to leave the bridge sir?”

“On what ground?” Admiral Beau asked as he held the bridge of his nose and let his hand fall to his hip. A sigh so dramatic left his mouth as you stood before him about ready to crumble into a mission pieces. Just about ready to lose your composure.

“Living a little–sir.” You replied and got a small chuckle from Admiral Bates in response. You didn't wait for Beau to pick his jaw off the ground before you took off running out of the bridge into the hall at a speed equivalent to what you thought Usan Bolt ran at. You needed to get to Jake before he did anything stupid.

“Lieutenant Seresin!” You shouted into the radio as you ran as fast as you could, bumping into sailors and crew members as you barrelled uncontrollably down every flight of stairs, every hallway you needed to take. Not caring who or what was in your way. “This is a direct order! Do not engage! I repeat, you are not clear for takeoff!”

You knew it was a pointless task but you had to be able to tell yourself you tried to stop him. Jake had unplugged his radio signal for one reason and one reason only. There was only one person who could talk him out of this, and that person was you.

“Jake, no don't do this!” You barrelled out the door onto the deck of the carrier, locking eyes on his F-18 that was just now getting ready for take off. You’d convinced yourself you could make the distance if you really put the pedal to the metal. Pocketing the radio as you raced down the stairs and made a direct line for the runway. Coyote though, well he had another idea, intercepting you just before you could jump the safety barrier.

“He’s made up his mind Lieutenant Commander, I can't let you go.” Coyote had wrapped his arms around your waist and picked you off the ground kicking and screaming. Phoenix just buried her head in Bob's shoulder. She couldn't look. “Hawk–”

“Let me fucking go!” You shouted at the top of your lungs. “Javy! He’s my husband!!” You felt like you needed to remind him as you kicked and clawed at whatever exposed skin you could. “Let me go!” You managed to wriggle your way out of Javy’s grapes just enough to overpower him for a split second, shoving him back as you climbed over the guard rail, running out into the direct line of flight Jake was about to take.

Jake was all but ready to go until he saw you standing in the middle of the runway near the very end. If he was gonna do this he’d have to look you in the eye and do it. Not behind your back. Sighing, he switched his radio on, his voice coming from your pocket.

“Get off the runway baby–” This was a personal radio call, not a professional one. Jake didn't care who could hear or where it was being broadcasted.

“Stand the fuck down Lietenant Seresin–” Jake could hear it in your voice, you were heartbroken. “I'm ordering you to stand down.”

“You're gonna have to write me up for insubordination when I get back to you, love.” Jake held back his own tears because this was never how it was supposed to end. “I love you so much–but this team? They need me.”

I need you more!” You countered as you sobbed. Holding the radio your hand shook uncontrollably. “Please, you don't have to do this.”

“I'll love you till my last breath on this earth Baby.” Jake took a deep breath as he closed his eyes for a brief moment. Letting his own tears fall because you were just so stupid for jumping that guard rail. “You make me a better man every day.” it wasn't what Jake had said that sent you spiralling but it was the crackle of your radio that let you know he’d shut it off again.

“No no no no!!” Without thinking, without hesitation and for some unknowing reason you thought running towards Jake's F-18 would stop him from taking off. It didn't. He came full speed towards you as you ran towards the Super Hornet barrelling towards you until Coyote was tackling you out of the way and Jake was flying over the top of you. “NOOO—-!!” It was the most gut wrenching sound Javy had ever heard as he held you into his chest as remnants of jet fuel fell. Using his body to shield you from the overbearing smell. “NOOOO–”

“I got you Y/n” Coyote held you close as you cried in his arms. “I got you.”

Jake circled back around the carrier to look down at you one last time. God, he loved you so much. If it weren't for you he wouldn't be doing this selfless act. He’d never known what it was like to truly be on the team before.

Now he knew for sure what it was like, and what it felt like to be a sacrifice. Thumbing the small golden heart he had pinned to his flight suit.

***~***~***~***~***~***~***~***~***~***~***~***~**

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