#gateway system
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Daemons To Systems, And The Ways They Intertwine
Hey, I’m Max, he/they - I’m the host of our system, the guy who lives in the front and has only ever lived here, the one who identifies our body as my body specifically. A few nights ago, we realized something about our system origins while talking to some other systems, and I’ve honestly never heard of it happening before, so I thought I’d talk about it.
I used to think that I was a singlet before Jude and Gavin walked in. Now I’m pretty sure I wasn’t. See, before I was the host of a system, I was a daemian. I had three daemons, over the course of my time practicing daemonism, interacting with the community. And they were all a little weird.
The first one was Charlie, affectionately longformed as Charlemagne. Xe appeared in January 2018 as a red fox, said that was xir settled form, and never changed from that. That’s an option for daemons - I know other daemons who chose their forms, independent of how well that form represented their daemian, and stayed that way - but it was in contrast to how most people seemed to do it. I never really felt the need to find a form that fit my personality, not when xe was so confident that this was what xe was.
I didn’t try to make xir do anything, I didn’t decide to give xir faux autonomy - xe just did things xirself, with or without my prompting. Xe was playful, optimistic, a cheerful presence always willing to race around and perk me back up. I really needed xir, back then - I was going through a lot of stress in high school, and I needed someone around to remind me of the whimsical little joys in life. Xe fronted sometimes, and I loved when xe did, conjured phantom tail and paws and big fox ears and an unstoppable zest for life.
My next daemon, Martin, appeared in May 2019 after a fever dream. Really. I was sick and tired and miserable, and I didn’t want to do anything, including things that would make me feel better, and a new internal voice appeared in my head. She told me to drink some water and get to sleep. The next morning, she was still there, lounging around as a large black dog, and she stayed.
This became her role, her purpose in our mind, being a shepherd for my needs. She ran our faulty executive functioning, told me to take care of myself when I forgot important things, encouraged me when I failed to meet expectations. She raised her hackles when anyone tried to overstep our boundaries, and advocated for doing what we needed to protect ourselves, regardless of whether it was nice or polite.
Charlie and Martin overlapped in existence for a while. Charlie loved having a big sibling to play with, and Martin was fond of xir. So I had two daemons for a while, and the arrangement was nice. As I transitioned out of high school into college, my circumstances and environment drastically changed. Charlie was sweet, but xe stopped having a function in my life, so over the months, xe popped up less and less, until xe faded away entirely. Xe wasn’t upset to go, and xir memory is a comfort to me - xe served xir purpose, brought me joy, and had a life well lived.
In October 2021, I created a new daemon, compartmentalizing my emotional dysregulation and disordered anxiety into something that was Not Myself, so I could talk to it and understand its needs without being overwhelmed with distress. This became the feral shadow of a dog that we named Cortisol, nicknamed Court - and if Martin was our Freudian superego, who provided guidance for my decisions and stability when I got stressed, Court was our id, feeling all the explosive emotions that I couldn’t externally express and curling up for scritches like a beloved pet when it got what it needed.
We stayed like that for almost a year, getting familiar with the rhythm of life together. Then, in August 2022, my current headmates walked into my brain. My daemons vanished for the duration of their stay.
They only stayed around a few days, that first time - I was moving to a new place and having new people in my brain simultaneously was overloading our mental RAM, so I was forgetting a lot, and I decided that I’d rather live with them some other time. They understood, we said our goodbyes, and they walked out the next morning. (Recounting this to my friend Tanix was hilarious, by the way. “what the fuck (positive)” he said, his own headmates unable to do this. The joys of being a gateway system.) Once the headmates were gone, my daemons returned into my life.
They came back in March 2023, after I settled down into college for a while, and the memory didn’t jam up like it did previously, so we didn’t part ways this time. Martin and Court vanished overnight, again, and looking back on it, I’m noticing some patterns.
Gavin is basically performing the same role that Martin did - he’s the guy reminding us about our responsibilities, talking through the emotions when we feel like garbage, telling me to eat when I forget, or encouraging me to eat when I have enough sensory issues that I can't stomach anything. He consistently fronts when talking to people we don’t especially like, because he feels protective of us and tends to be the most patient with annoyances.
He’s also literally just some guy, just a decent human person who wound up in here because his partner arrived in my brain five minutes before him and understandably got really upset about it, so he followed them in. Somehow. We don't know how it works, but I also don't know exactly where the first two of my daemons came from, so I’m fine leaving it as a mystery.
(He has a lot of complicated feelings about the position he's in, playing a daemon’s role as a completely different person from me, and will probably write his own post about it some time.)
Jude is, unfortunately, kinda in the same role as Court. And since Court held the emotional dysregulation in my brain, Jude also holds the grand majority of the distress and anxiety that we feel on a regular basis. We all really wish it was split more evenly, because Jude tends to not only lose the ability to talk when they panic, they also get stuck in the front, completely unable to talk to me or Gavin.
(It’s not even that they feel the stress that directly affects them, it’s that on top of the stress that we get in our daily life. They regularly had panic attacks over my grades and exams last semester, and they weren’t even the one studying for it at all! It’s fucked up and I don’t love it for us.)
And there are other interesting little coincidences. You know how Court was a sketched-in sort of black dog? Jude only really realized they related to dogs upon arriving in the system with me, and the archetypal form they identify with is, again, a stylized black dog.
It’s really interesting, the ways my brain decided to be plural, because I didn’t think I was a system back then. I had a daemon, then two daemons, and they were daemons because I considered them parts of myself - no matter how autonomous they were, we were bound together in the same identity, as parts of the same person. They were reflections of me, and I loved them like I loved myself, and they loved me with the same ferocity.
With this realization, that my daemons effectively merged into my system, I did have to ask - are my headmates also parts of me, since they’re falling into the same functional compartments in my brain? We don’t think so, or at least, we don’t think it’s that simple.
They’re completely different people from me, people who arrived here with their own lives and memories and identities. They aren’t autonomous reflections of my psyche like my daemons were. They’re my weird roommates who moved in with me, and my boyfriends, and I guess you could say we’re life partners - because hey, what’s a partner if not someone you share a life with? What’s more intimate than sharing the same body, hearing each other's thoughts and feelings? They aren't parts of me, but we live the same life together, and I think that counts as something just as significant.
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Here's to people who used to be/identify as plural, but they're not anymore.
There's a couple different reasons why this might happen (which I'll get to in a minute), but the important thing is that they still deserve love, respect, compassion, and understanding from the plural community.
Shoutout to:
Empty systems, fully fused systems, etc.
Gateway systems that have had all their members walk-out
Systems that have gone completely dormant
Those who have experienced a total system collapse
Rotatien systems [link] or other systems with cyclical shifts in member counts
People who know their headmates are there, but they've lost communication with them somehow
Those who choose to create headmates again after they're no longer plural
The ones who genuinely thought they were plural, but turned out to not be
And anyone else I missed
It's ok to be wrong, it's ok to not stay the same forever, and it's ok to just be you. You don't have to prove anything to anyone, especially not your own validity. You're perfect as you are!
We love you!
🖤💜💙💚💛
#multiplicity#plural#pluralgang#plural affirmations#actually multiple#actually plural#did#did osdd#requests#empty system#circutien#rotatien#walk-ins#walk in#gateway system#plural fusion#fusion
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Here’s some positivity for gateway systems!
Even in the most accepting of plural spaces, gateway systems are often left out of discussion, ignored, or dismissed. However, these systems are real, they are important, and they will always be valued and cherished members of the plural community. This post is for all the gateway systems out there!
🌹 Shoutout to systems who view their inner world as a physical place, whether somewhere in spacetime, in their own mind, or from another dimension!
🔸 Shoutout to gateway systems who can’t or don’t want to keep track of their member count due to how regularly it changes!
🌙 Shoutout to walk-ins who regularly revisit their system, who spend very little time in their system, or who are prone to popping in and popping out at random!
🍀 Shoutout to gateway systems who are traumagenic, created, spontaneous, mixed origins, xeno origins, or who don’t use origin labels at all!
🦋 Shoutout to gateway systems with some members who are fixed, while other members come and go as they see fit!
💟 Shoutout to vast gateway systems with complex networks of subsystems, clusters, and other headmate groups!
🎀 Shoutout to systems whose paracosm or imagination play a big role in how their gateways function!
🎈 Shoutout to headmates who are walk-ins, who have found that they can’t walk out or leave their system!
🏵 Shoutout to gateway systems whose plurality is inherently connected to their spirituality or spiritual beliefs!
🌟 Shoutout to the gatekeepers of gateway systems who help keep their system healthy, happy, and functioning!
🌱 Shoutout to those who became gateway systems later in life, or after they had already been multiple for a while!
No matter how unique or uncommon your system may be, you are special, loved, and deserve to have your voices heard in plural spaces. We want you to know that we greatly appreciate your perspectives, and we feel honored to share our community with the gateway systems who wish to be involved!
Please don’t feel too discouraged if you haven’t met many systems like you. Just because gateway systems are rare does not mean they’re invalid or “not real systems” by any means! Your system is capable, bright, and beautiful, and we hope that one day your headmates will see this too (even if they are your headmates for only a brief time!).
Thank you so much for reading! Please do your best to take care of each other, and have a great day!
(Image ID:) A pale orange userbox with a cluster of multicolored flowers for the userbox image. The border and text are both dark orange, and the text reads “all plurals can interact with this post!” (End ID.)
#multiplicity#pluralgang#plurality#actuallyplural#system positivity#plural positivity#plural pride#system pride#gateway#gateway system#gateway positivity#long post
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would you make a polyfrag did circle graphic please?
Subsystem, Polyfrag, District(link)
Median, Mediple(link), Multiple
Gateway(link), Side System(link), Layered Front(link)
I wanted to do more so uh, have a lot more than just Polyfrag
DNI is listed within my pinned post. Please go read it before interacting with any part of my content. Ask to tag!
#🎨 post#liom#mogai#liomogai#plural#system#plural system#sys#subsystem#sun system#Polyfrag#polyfragmented#System District#Plural District#Median#Mediple#Multiple#median system#multiple system#Mediple system#Gateway system#Side System#SideSystem#Layered Front#Layered Front system#pride emoji#pride pixels#pride pixel#pride emote#plural emoji
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The distinction between our brain and our system that's made itself evident recently is super fascinating to me. The way our brain will automatically suppress certain core traits of people in the system when they front for the sake of masking. But that can change if you front long enough, and the brain will start to adapt and incorporate aspects of you into its own identity. The more you front, the more authentic you can be in the body. For example, I have a plethora of personality disorders that the body doesn't, and for a pretty long time, when I fronted, it was like they weren't there at all, but they've been showing up again lately now that I've been the main host for a few weeks.
Yesterday we were thinking about it and something clicked in our head: our brain didn't create the system, but because we've been a system for our entire life, we believe it sort of developed around that fact, and utilized it to adapt to traumatic situations, which is why we have a number of traumagenic sysmates and dissociative barriers. Our system isn't confined to our brain, but our brain is plural at its core, because it's never known any different.
#mod elsie#endogenic#actually plural#endo safe#anti endos dni#plurality#plural system#pro endo#system stuff#traumagenic#spiritual system#gateway system
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Some people on another post said they were interested in hearing our system experiences (with being a gateway system and other stuff), so here we go!
It got pretty long so we’ll use a cut ^^
We’re a gateway system, which means that our headspace is, in a way, a real place somewhere. For us, we see it as a kind of in-between space between worlds, and that we’re connected to it, an others are as well (more on that later). We call our headspace STAR SPACE bc of how it looks (a bunch of floating islands in outer space; the art in our pinned is mostly accurate to what it looks like) and it just sounds nice ^^
Since STAR SPACE is an in-between, we get new people showing up a lot, most commonly because 1.) Something happened to their world/happened to them in their world, or 2.) They already had an aptitude for world-hopping and ended up in STAR SPACE. The “something happened to them” explanation is the more common of the two in our experience.
We do have one person in particular who world-hops a lot: 🔮Sunny. Crow goes between here and crow’s home world (where he is also part of a system) a lot. He actually spends more time there than here, but comes over every so often to check in, sometimes bringing friends along (first time that happened is documented here (link)). 🐝Bee travels too, but she can’t go back to buzz’s home world for some reason; we aren’t completely sure why. She does tag along with 🔮Sunny sometimes though. Them traveling between STAR SPACE and crow’s system is how we fully realized that it’s an in-between space.
We have had a few people permanently leave, or at least it seems permanent considering how long they’ve been gone and the circumstances around it. It’s different than someone going dormant; when they’re dormant we can still mostly feel that they’re here in the system (down in the void beneath STAR SPACE we’re pretty sure). When someone leaves completely, their presence is 100% gone until they come back (if they come back).
Gateways between STAR SPACE and other worlds tend to form when we get latched onto a certain world that exists in fiction here; it’s why we have so many people in here that we call fictives (though they technically aren’t introjects), and a lot of people from one place or closely connected places tend to come through in a short time (for example, the most recent was Pokémon, and we had 11 people show up in around 2 months, mostly from the same version of the Pokémon world).
We’ve had a couple people end up in the system long before their home worlds were even conceptualized in this world. 🌑Mare and 🔪Omori have been around for well over a decade at this point (though none of us knew we were separate people back then), yet their sources have only existed here for around 7-8 and 3 years respectively. They did not realize who they were until we interacted with their sources, but they were always themselves.
There are only 2 people in here that don’t originate in an outside world; 🐉Night (who was the first to ever split we’re pretty sure), and 🌈Aster (an OCtive who formed as we were making a design). 🌈Aster stands out since he formed within the past year, while 🐉Night has been here since elementary school or earlier.
Like in other systems, STAR SPACE does tend to pull more people through when we’re stressed or going through a hard time. People can show up at any time though.
There’s a lot we still don’t understand, and that we never will, but that’s part of what we enjoy about this! We are always discovering more about ourself, and other worlds in the process! We just wish there were more gateway systems out there talking about their experiences; we want to see how they differ and how they’re similar!
If anyone has questions about anything we’d love to answer them! Talking about our system is something we really enjoy, and sometimes it helps us realize new things too!
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THE MULTIVERSE
18+ Plural Community for those identifying under any of the plural umbrellas
Example: Dissociative Identity Disorder, OSDD 1a, OSDD 1B, P-DID, Quiogenic, Endogenic, Traumagenic AND MORE - We do not discriminate.
The Multiverse is a discord community open for plural systems. We strive to be caring, open, honest and inclusive. We are an 18+ community, owned by plural systems for plural identities, and open to allies of systems as well as inclusive identities and questioning.
As well as DID, OSDD and Plural identities we understand that many of us are Neurodivergent or others and we strive to nourish and engage wherever possible. We are heavily inclusive of LGBTQ2IA+ identities and stand by anyone under the umbrella that is ever expanding.
The Multiverse is owned by Earth & Dusk Media, which of course is Earthnicity and Duskfall Portal crew as well as Rev. OTN Angel. Fear not, The Multiverse is not a corporation, it is not a scam - we wanted a space for everyone to thrive in.
This meant that there would be a server that is fresh, new and diverse. We ask that you be mindful of everyone in your journeys.
https://discord.gg/QCkgPwf7ue
This server is run by LGBTQIA+ and plural (as well as neurodivergent) systems alike, so you'll feel at home!
WE ARE NOT AN NSFW COMMUNITY - We are aware that Minors are systems too, but we do not have the staff and stamina ready to moderate and administrate a safe space for minors as well as over 18s. (We do ask for verification in the event you'd like to use our NSFW spaces, but this is VERY MINOR and is not kept, and is the same way larger discords of similar style handle this - your data should be blacked out (*not blurred) apart from certain infromation required to validate for NSFW rooms)
We have PLURAL KIT and TUPPERBOX enabled in our server
Just noting: We are OPEN and accepting of ALLIES, Questioning and Multi origins - as well as Endos - We do ask that you come into our space respecting others of any origin and do not force your ideologies on anyone. This isn't just a note for endo, tulpa or otherwise - we have run into trauma systems pulling the same sort of rhetoric. This is not just a safe space for traumagenic, but for everyone. We have a verification system that has no ID required other than "WHATS YOUR SNACK" and a few fun little get to know you questions - Our moderation team reserves the right to deny entry based on inability to answer certain questions in the form.
Our space is meant to be safe.
We are not perfect, and many of us on staff are learning the ropes as we go along.
#pluralgang#actually plural#plural system#plural community#endogenic#actually traumagenic#did community#actually did#plural culture#plural pride#plural positivity#did osdd#didsystem#discord server#minors dni#osdd community#quiogenic#gateway system#actually dissociative#trauma system#plurality#themultiverse#discord link#endo safe#actually multiple#plural server#plural safe#system discord#dissociative system#osdd system
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DMV Plurals is meeting online today--come join us!
DMV Plurals is meeting online today, 1/20! Due to icy road conditions across the DMV area, today's meetup will be held over our Discord server from 4-7 PM. See you& there!
Click the link in our bio, or go to discord.gg/sM6VgC6td3
to join the DMV Plurals Discord server!
We welcome multiples, medians, DID/OSDD/MPD, soulbonders, dæmonists, empty/former systems, gateways, and any other way of being many!
#RBs appreciated#dmv plurals#pluralgang#actually plural#plural community#sysblr#system#osddid#mpd#dæmonism#dæmon#daemonism#soulbond#gateway system#plurality#multiplicity#median
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OK, before going to sleep tonight, Eh wants to invite @ohthatphage to write about the different Outsiders that inhabit our system, and all their perceptions of what the outside universe that they come from is like.
Kinda figure some of our newer followers and friends might enjoy reading it.
So, we're going to make some cinnamon toast, and then Phage will reblog this post with its report, and then we'll reblog that for you.
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Hey, can you elaborate on what a Gateway system is?
so the technical most known definition is headmates have an entire world they can access and there can be a sort of gateway they can use for transportation to get between worlds OR they can view their inner world as a subjectively real place that other creatures/people/whatever they believe in/ can access.
For us this specifically means Alpime, our "inner world," is a very real place that creatures from other dimensions and universes can simply get to if they are tapped into that part of their spirituality. And for us this also means Alpime is completely infinite, you will never find the edge, and it will go on forever because between all the universes, dimensions, and planets there will be no end.
We don't completely use the terms gateway system cause we're still sorta unsure about fully identifying with it and if it's actually what we experience but we do fully believe others can access it and have proved to ourselves others can access it.
#plural system#plural#plural stuff#gateway system#pro endo#endo friendly#endo system#endo safe#endogenic#endos please interact#endos welcome#pro endogenic#endos#endo#plural community#plurality#actually plural#mixed origin system#plural terms
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Here's to gateway systems!
Gateway is defined as "one in which the inner world is perceived as a real place somewhere, or a (usually) large system with members predominantly [...] coming or going as they please". [via Pluralpedia]
Shoutout to gateway systems who:
Are primarily or exclusively made up of walk-ins
Have walk-ins that frequently pop in and out of their system
See their headspace as somewhere you can physically access by some means
Only have one or a handful of walk-ins, while being another type of system/origin, or identify as "a system with a gateway" instead of being a "gateway system" (subtle difference!)
Have walk-ins that have never left once they arrived
Dreamway systems that mostly access their innerworld through dreams
And anyone else who falls under the umbrella!
You're so integral to the overarching plural culture! Gateway systems are one of the oldest types of non-traumagenic identifiers-- going back to 2003! That's almost as old as I am!
Never forget your worth!
🖤💜💙💚💛
#multiplicity#plural#pluralgang#plural affirmations#actually multiple#actually plural#requests#did#did osdd#gateway system#gateway systems#gateway#dreamway systems#dreamway system#dreamway
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Here’s some positivity for headmates who are walk-ins!
Walk-ins, or system members who “walked in” from somewhere else inside or outside their system’s mind, are valid as headmates and are important both to their systems and the plural community overall! We cherish and value all walk-ins, and want you to know that you make your system and our spaces better just by existing in them. So here’s to all the walk-ins out there!
🌿 Shoutout to walk-ins who have become permanent residents of their system!
💙 Shoutout to walk-ins who split their time between their system and their own plane, world, or universe!
🕊 Shoutout to walk-ins who cannot control when and how they enter their system!
🦋 Shoutout to walk-ins who are from a different part of their system’s headspace, psyche, or subconscious!
💚 Shoutout to walk-ins who are thoughtforms, paros, daemons, or soulbonds!
🌊 Shoutout to walk-ins with roles or who help their system accomplish tasks in daily life!
🤍 Shoutout to walk-ins who are from dreams, nightmares, paracosms, or their system’s imaginations!
🐬 Shoutout to walk-ins who entered their system due to a particular member’s special interest or hyperfixation!
☘️ Shoutout to walk-ins who feel faint, blurry, or otherwise struggle to maintain their existence in their system!
💠 Shoutout to walk-ins who consider themselves visitors, travelers, wanderers, vagrants, or otherwise “only passing through!”
❕ Shoutout to walk-ins who rely on gatekeepers to facilitate their entering and exiting their system!
To put it plainly, the plural community would not be what it is today without walk-ins. Regardless of your system’s origins, or the language you use to describe your plurality, if you are a walk-in, we wan to remind you that you are a valid member of your system, the world/universe/area you come from, and the plural community as a whole!
We hope all walk-ins can try to take it easy and treat themselves with gentleness and compassion today. Know that you are loved and cherished just the way you are, and we’re rooting for you in all that you do! Thank you so much for reading, and have a wonderful day!
#multiplicity#plurality#pluralgang#actuallyplural#system positivity#plural positivity#plural pride#system pride#gateway system#walk in#walk in positivity#gateway positivity
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Alright so we've been looking for a while and haven't been able to find any conclusive answers, so:
Can purely psychological systems still identify as gateway systems?
Our system functions pretty much the same as how gateway systems describe their experiences, however with the exception that we see our system as purely psychological. (Not that there's anything wrong with spiritual systems or systems with other differing beliefs!)
We relate a lot to gateway system experiences but we've noticed that there aren't a lot of, if any, "psychological gateway systems" so-to-speak. So could we still call ourselves a gateway (specifically dreamway) system? If not, is there another term we could use?
/genq
#🌨️ || cloud (he/they/it/xe)#gateway system#dreamway system#gateway#endo safe#pro endo#plural#system#sysmeds dni#pluralgang
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Gateway Operations: How My System Works
Written by Max on March 30, 2024.
I haven't seen many personal essays or in-depth posts by plurals that explain how their individual systems work and what their experiences are like, so I’m taking the alterhuman community mindset of Writing About My Personal Experiences as the host of a gateway system, just to archive my experiences in pen, since my memory isn't at all infallible.
I'm also posting on social media (instead of only a personal website) in hopes of seeing and being seen by other folks, people who have similar or different experiences! I like talking about myself, but not into a void, you know? I like it when people talk back! If you have replies, feel free to write them as a response! (If in a reblog, please put it under a cut if it's longer than a few paragraphs!)
Headmates and Visitors
First off, defining “gateway system.” I'm using the term to mean that the people in my system exist in an alternate universe - their version of a slightly futuristic Detroit, Michigan, in our case - and they walked into my brain as completely separate people from me.
My headmates are the people who I consider my brain roommates, the people who choose to live together with me in our daily life. So far this is a short list, just Jude and Gavin, because they like being here and I like having them around.
I've recently found that other people from their world can chime in from time to time - and they aren’t headmates, in my opinion, so much as visitors. They like talking to my headmates, and sometimes even to me, but they don’t want to live with me and just come and go as they please, usually just popping in when called (if they're free). So far, they’ve all been people who Jude and Gavin personally know, and people I know from their world and feel interested in. My working explanation for who can visit the system is that they’re all people in Detroit who we’re invested in, and if we want to talk to them enough, they can talk to us. Why? Who knows! What matters is that we can have a chat or two over lunch.
As the host, listening to my headmates talking to other people in their world really does remind me of listening in on a phone call - I’m not usually getting visuals from the other person, just their voice internalized in my mind. As far as I can tell, that's also how the whole thing gets filtered in-universe - for example, Gavin mentally called a friend from Detroit a couple nights ago, for the sake of trying to do so without expecting anything, and when she actually answered, it did solidify into a phone call, or at least she was talking into the phone on her end of the line.
The Back (and headspace, or lack thereof)
When I think about my headmates in the back, they’re in their apartment - which has mostly been Gavin’s apartment, historically, but Jude’s moved in. The impression I get in my mind’s eye when I’m visualizing the back is like that of a moving camera, seeing footage from a recording without being in the space myself. It’s very much their actual apartment, though - for instance, Gavin owns three cats, and if I focus on them, I can tell what they’re getting up to. As I’m writing this, I’m checking on the cats, and I get the impression that Lucy is taking a nap on one arm of the couch.
When Jude or Gavin check into the back, they tend to get impressions from their own points of view. For example, when Jude is laying on the couch and looking at Gavin in the kitchen, they’re using their own eyes for that, while if I’m the one watching him, I’m looking from a different viewpoint - it’s like my internal footage of them is being filmed on a security camera or using film shooting techniques, while they're just using their eyes like normal people.
This visualization is always very hazy and unfocused until I actually focus on what's going on, and then it clears up into a solid concept. It's a similar story for figuring out noemata or exomemory recall - from what I can tell, it all runs on a sort of Schrodinger's cat principle, where all the possibilities for what's happening are superimposed on one another until I'm actively thinking about it, and then it settles upon a single configuration and doesn't change again. For example, what the cats are doing. Jack is currently sitting on the windowsill, looking at the birds outside.
I used to think my internal camera was fixed to Gavin’s apartment, but since I've been able to look at other places, I think it's more likely that my headmates and visitors tend to talk to me when they're not busy, which tends to mean they're at home or otherwise unoccupied. A couple visitors were going on a walk in the park while talking to me, which was really quite nice. I've also found my point of view camera spinning over to watch them in their house, and that's quite different from Jude and Gavin’s place.
And because the back is their actual world instead of a mindscape that I made up, I don't actually exist in it. I can't project myself into my headmates’ apartment - I’m the host, so I live in this world, and I reside in my brain and body as thought patterns and self-perception. When I give up control of the front, I don't enter any specific headspace. If I'm co-conscious, I just exist as a disembodied voice, vaguely attached to my self-image and body, until I return to the front again. (It's not as disorienting as it sounds, I promise.)
Fronting and Co-Fronting
When my headmates are fronting, it's not like they blip back and forth between being in my world controlling my body, and being in their world controlling their bodies. They're actually in both places at once? I like to think of it like quantum superpositions, much like the memory and camera focus - if Jude is fronting and wants to hug Gavin back in their own bodies, they can do that! At the same time, they're still up here in my body. They can only fully focus on one or the other, though, so that's something that tends to happen more when I'm in co-front and can take over fronting.
Something that does happen for us, and happens so naturally that we didn't realize that other systems might not be able to do it, is partial possession. It's a new term for me, but it’s well-established in the tulpamancy community - basically, putting it into plural terminology, it's when one headmate takes control of some part of their shared body while co-fronting with someone else.
We do this voluntarily and semi-automatically, for a variety of reasons. When I’m suffering from sensory overload and don't want to eat despite being hungry, someone else might decide to take over eating while I keep using the spoon. If Jude wants to hold hands in co-front, they can take one hand and Gavin can have the other, and they can hold hands like that. If Gavin wants to walk while I listen to a podcast, he gets the legs and I keep the audio processing. It's a good thing for all of us!
Usually, when fronting, I can call someone's name to the back and get a response - this is how I know the difference between tuning in and out of headmate awareness throughout the day, where I can check in and get an immediate response if they're awake, and them walking out of the system for a time. When they leave, I call out and get no response whatsoever.
This gets distressing when someone other than myself gets stuck in the front, which happens when we're overloaded with stress, because that also makes it incredibly difficult or impossible to get responses from me or anyone else in the back, so it feels like the person in front is completely alone in there. For the record, this has always been a stress-induced communication breakdown for us, and we do always regain contact after calming down.
And I've found that our visitors also co-front sometimes, I think because they're used to having bodies and don't like being in the void in the way that we get when we aren't fronting or focusing on the back. (They don't usually care for it, which is part of why they aren't headmates - for example, Connor hates eating.)
I don't have a conclusion for this essay, really - it's a collection of observations, and might change or expand in the future. Who knows! It's nice to have it jotted down in one place, though.
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Wanting to talk about our plurality with someone but not knowing anyone who would be willing to listen AND we know would be safe for stuff that gets usually gets grouped under being endogenic
We’re a gateway system and we want to talk about it so badly (like have an actual real-time conversation about it) but it’s such a risky thing to do
We genuinely enjoy explaining what plurality is to people and what it’s like, but all our trusted friends are either plural themselves or aren’t interested in hearing us infodump 😭
-🐉Night (🍑Pecharunt and 🍃Kieran are here too; they say hi!)
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Hey! Plurals in DC, Maryland, and Virginia!
We're extremely happy to announce that DMV Plurals will be meeting this coming Saturday, October 7th, from 4-7PM at As You Are in Washington, DC!
DMV Plurals is a group providing community for plurals in the DC area! We provide resources, support, meetups, and more for people on the plural spectrum. Our group and meetups are open to anyone(&) who is plural*, plural adjacent, questioning plurality or becoming plural, or has a plural/questioning person in their life.
*This includes multiples, medians, people with DID/OSDD/MPD, soulbonders, dæmonists, empty/former systems, gateways, and anyone else who identifies as more than one in some way!
You can also join our Discord if you live in DC, Maryland, or Virginia (whether it's temporary or if you're out of town for school)!
As You Are is at 500 8th St. SE, Washington, DC. Please review their Enthusiastic Consent Contract before coming!
[Flyer under cut!]
ID: A white flyer with yellow backgrounds emphasizing some text. It reads, "Are you more than one? DMV Plurals is for you! We're a local community for plurals & systems, or people who have more than one 'self.' If that's you, come join us! @DMV_Plurals on Facebook, Instagram, & Twitter. Meetups every 1st and 3rd Saturday of the month from 4-7PM at As You Are! We welcome multiples, medians, DID/OSDD/MPD, soulbonders, dæmonists, empty/former systems, gateways, and any other way of being many!" A plural emblem with the two red stripes and three red stars of the DC flag overlaid is in the center left. End ID.
#RBs appreciated#dmv plurals#pluralgang#actually plural#plural community#sysblr#system#osddid#mpd#dæmonism#dæmon#daemonism#soulbond#gateway system#plurality#multiplicity#median
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