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gyllenhaalstories · 4 years

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BIRTHDAY CAKE — RAPPER!JAKE HEADCANONS 🎂 🎁

anonymous asked: what do you think rapper!jake would get you for your birthday? warnings: mentions of sexual content & curse words. notes: i listened to the solo version of birthday cake by rihanna so join in if you want to <3 thank you anon for asking this okay ilysm whoever you are you’re so perfect! i wanted to post it when i was born but i couldn’t wait any longer! ps: the gifs are not mine, but i couldn’t find who made them since they were reposted on pinterest. i hope y’all enjoy the chain (and this too)!

why would rapper!jake get his birthday bitch, huh?

everything she ever dreamed of, of course.

birthdays would start at midnight and end at the same hour the next day, no excuses.

he would wake you up with gentle kisses along your shoulder. “good morning, angel, it’s your special day”. when was it not when you’re one of the biggest hip hop artists’ girlfriend?

you would protest, grabbing on his arms that were around you tighter so he would not move. but he did. he pulled the blankets of your naked body and helped you turn so you were laying on your back.

no matter how many years the two of you have shared together, you were always excited for what was coming next.

(pun intented)

jake would leave kisses down your entire body, making his way down to your core by leaving light hickeys.

your legs would slowly open up for him, and you would wrap them around his head when he finally reached the right spot.

he brags about your head game all the time, but boy got some sweet skills too. he has you mewling, whimpering, shaking and he’s only a few licks and gentle bites in.

by the time you’re close to the edge, he stops. “count down for me, baby.” so you count down from your your age to 0. i pity you if you’re like 35. rip @ your pussy. he doesn’t make it easy for you. he nibbles on your thighs, he leaves kisses absolutely everywhere. he dips his tongue in your wetness, teasing your hole (or both of them because why not? it’s your birthday, girl, be wild!). and when you FINALLY reach 0, you’re absolutely exploding.

you’re screaming his name. you almost forgot that what? five minutes ago? you were having sweet fantasy dreams of jake as a knight and you as the princess of the candy kingdom.

jake’s face emerges from your pussy, covered in juices as he gives you a playful smirk. “you’re just like wine, you taste better with age.”

and he’s got you laughing and trying to gently kick him.

he will deny you any attempts of paying him back. he’s got other things on his mind.

he sets you back under the blankets nicely and reach out for your nightstand, handing you your favourite plushie that you leave here at all times as he presses a kiss on your forehead. “just had my fave breakfast but i’m ,’bout to make some more.” he would wink. “whataya want?”

pancakes, waffles, froot loops, spaghetti, brownies, listen, you could have whatever you wanted.

you opted for waffles this year. and jake, who happened to be quite the talented chef, and before you could fall asleep again, he brought you a large platter of waffles, cut fruits and maple syrup with a hot chocolate.

you turned on the television and found some crappy reality television to watch. at midnight, it was either that or a marathon of pawn stars. on the screen, there were some old episodes of say yes to the dress. jake paid attention to your reactions in front of the dresses and the brides. he made mental notes of your preferences.

once you were done eating, you turned one of your favourite movies on. it was some disney film jake actually loved although he would never admit it out loud.

eventually, the sun started to rise outside.

and the fun was really starting.

jake listed what the two of you would do today: he would take you to the mall early so no one would bother you as you went from store to store, trying everything from prada, chanel, gucci and whatever you felt like it. and then, you would go for brunch. and then he would take you for a walk around the park. just the two of you.

and you did all that, while jake carried all of your shopping bags and helped you bring them back inside the mansion when it was time for a power nap.

the thing was: you weren’t sleepy.

and neither was jake.

he noticed that little sparkle in your eyes. he knew it so well.

you were needy. and even if, most of the time it would annoy him when he had better plans in mind, he let it slide this time.

he placed his hand on your head and helped you lean down on your knees.

you palmed at his growing bulge. you freed it from his pants and he went to sit on the couch. he let you entertain yourself, lazily sucking and licking his length when his other, much more important present, was being prepared outside without you noticing.

you cockwarmed him in your throat for a while.

“why you bein’ so generous to me? it’s your day, we gotta do what makes you happy.”

“you make me happy”.

HE COULD HAVE PUT A RING ON YOUR HAND RIGHT THERE (but after he came in your mouth, he had better priorities than marriage).

FINALLY you heard noise outside. you swallowed his load and licked your lips clean, crawling towards the large windows to take a peak of what was going on.

there was a lamborghini.

of your favourite colour.

bouquets and balloons were overflowing from the open doors and top.

your jaw dropped.

“i don’t even know how to drive?”

jake stood behind you and gently went to pet your hair.

“i’ll teach you.”

and you ran outside like an excited child, smelling roses and kicking helium balloons on your way. you sat behind the wheel and imitated the noises of the engine.

jake was so fucking in love with you.

he went to sit on the passenger seat and fixed the brakes, instructing you to press the pedal to rinse the engine safely.

he couldn’t even hear the vroom vroom over your happy giggles.

“it’s not over yet.”

jake got out of the car and went to your side, kissing you lovingly, his chain tickling your chest when he leaned forward. “follow me, angel.”

and you did. you arrived just in time, some friends had made it to the backyard where a gigantic cake and even bigger teddy bear were waiting for you. the teddy bear was holding a present bag with your favourite disney characters printed all over it.

everybody melted at the sweet thought.

jake suddenly switched in his attitude.

he grabbed something from behind the cake, a large jewelry box. he presented it to you.

you opened it.

there was a chain, similar to his, shining under the golden hour sun.

he put it on you as you let out a happy tear.

you shared the cake with your close friends. you were taking photos. posting them all over instagram. and fans were going crazy at the sight of jake looking so happy and relaxed.

people left.

you both started to run out of energy.

so you went to bed, it was almost midnight again.

and you made love. it was passionate, it was loving, it was sweet and it was incredible. it could not be compared to anything else jake has ever done to you. it felt as though your hearts were beating on the same rhythm. your eyes were locked the entire time as you both reached your high in this slow, but deep pace.

and when you finally closed your eyes to relax, jake managed to stretch his arm out and grab something from the night stand drawer.

you thought he was grabbing some bullet vibrator.

no.

it was an even smaller box than this afternoon.

“i bought this shit a long ass time ago,”

jake’s voice was cracking under the stress.

you encouraged with a gentle caress on his bearded chin.

“don’t fuckin’ cry or imma cry too.”

too late, you were both crying rivers. and chuckling. and shaking.

he did not even finish asking the question. he forgot the speech he prepared when he was eating you out earlier, thinking of romantic shit to say.

you said yes.

jake couldn’t see straight.

but he managed to put the ring on. it was the prettiest ring you have ever seen in your entire life.

after a ton of i love yous.

he found his phone somewhere on the bed and took a photo.

you looked awful and tried to cover your face with your hand.

“my bitch forever and ever happily ever after”.

he captioned the photo.

truth be told, he was so skillful that he did all of this without pulling out of you.

and he went at it again.

with more vigor. but with just as much passion.

“y’makin’ me feel so good wifey”.

perhaps wifey was the new bitch.

#jake gyllenhaal imagine #jake gyllenhaal smut #topic: rapper!jake #completed requests #jake gyllenhaal x reader

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buferfliz · 3 years

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We Belong Together

So Kuroo is one of my faves and i wanted to write something for him. I will eventually write something for all of my favorites. For now i hope you all enjoy this. Thank you to my awesome sister @silentprincessofhyrule for this awesome banner.

Warnings: This is mostly fluff with some angst. Swearing, toxic person/relationship, happy ending

Key: I’m sure you all know this but just in case, y/n = your name and gf/n = girlfriend’s name

Peas in a pod. That was what you and your two best friends heard most from your teachers, parents, even just neighbors when you were younger. They weren’t wrong, the three of you were always together from the very start.

At first it was just you and Kenma. You lived on the same street and were the only two children. He was only a year younger than you and so you were just naturally drawn together.

Kenma was quiet, kept to himself, but that was fine with you. He was sweet and kind and fun to be around. Besides you were loud and outgoing enough for the two of you anyway. Most of your time together was spent playing games and talking about whatever was on your mind. The two of you enjoyed each other’s company.

When Kuroo had moved onto your street, you were the first to say hello. You thought he was cute even if he was on the shy side, not that anyone would ever be able to guess that nowadays. It hadn’t mattered though, you were friends with Kenma and so you were used to that sort of thing.

The three of you bonded over games and eventually started playing volleyball together. You’d even managed to find some co-ed training camps so the three of you could play in actual games together. You always had fun playing with them even if they were way better at it than you were.

When you started middle school, the two of them joined the volleyball team and you became their number one fan and biggest cheerleader. Sure you were sad that you couldn’t play on the same team with them, not that you had ever intended on joining a school team, but that didn’t stop you from going to every game and practice. After they were done with volleyball club for the day, the three of you would do your homework together then play games at Kenma’s or watch movies at your house or play a little volleyball in Kuroo’s backyard.

The three of you were inseparable and that continued through middle school, on through high school, and even still now in college. Your schedules didn’t always match up perfectly but you spent as much time together as you could and every morning the three of you would commute to college together.

You’d all chosen to live at home while attending college to save on money. Besides you all lived close enough to the campus that commuting wasn’t a big deal. But you all had also decided to do it so that all of you could still be close to each other and see each other whenever you wanted, just like it had always been no pesky dorm rules to stop you. The three of you truly treasured each other and the time you spent together.

You rushed into the gym hoping to see your friends before their practice match with Fukurodani began.

“There you are chibi-chan, I was beginning to think you got lost.” Kuroo says as he approaches you.

“Yeah sorry about that. My professor went off on a tangent and kept us late.”

“Well that’s ok, you’re here now.” He smiles at you.

“Hey, Hey, Hey kitty cat.” Bokuto says when he spots you talking to Kuroo.

“Hey Ko, how are you?”

“Seriously bro? What’s with that nickname?” Kuroo asks him.

“What? Your mascot is a cat and it sounds cute. She doesn’t mind that I call her that. I mean I could call her my baby owl instead.”

“No. Kitty cat is bad enough and she isn’t yours.”

You just laugh at the exchange between the friends.

“Hey y/n, are those two at it again?” A calm voice asks from behind you.

“Oh hey Kenny. You know they are but I think it’s cute.”

“Cute? I think not.” Kuroo says.

“The only cute thing here is you kitty cat.” Bokuto says to you in a flirty manner.

“Aww, thank you Ko.”

It was always like that with you and Bokuto. You were just friends but there was always flirty banter between you two. You never saw anything more to it than just a playful exchange. Bokuto then makes another comment that causes you to laugh and maybe that’s why you missed the look of jealousy that briefly flitted across Kuroo’s face.

Turning your attention back to your two best friends, you give Kenma a hug and then you give Kuroo one as well. As you hug Kuroo, you feel as though his grip around you seems a bit tighter than usual but you decide to just enjoy the feel of it.

“Good luck guys.”

You head towards the bleachers and find your usual seat in the front row. You can’t help but to think about the hug you had just gotten from Kuroo. You feel your heartrate pick up as you remember the warm strong embrace. The truth was your feelings for your two best friends had changed. They were still your best friends and they always would be. But while your love for Kenma had taken the sibling route, your love for Kuroo had taken the romantic route.

You feel a little ache in your chest thinking about it because you have convinced yourself that Kuroo would only ever see you as one of his best friends. You’ve told yourself that you’re ok with it because he’s a great friend, but every day you can’t stop yourself from hoping that today would be the day. The day that Testsuro Kuroo, Tetsu as you affectionately referred to him, would realize that he was in love with you. No matter how unrealistic it might be.

Kuroo throws the ball into the air, jumps, and hits it. Hard. Too hard actually, it goes sailing out of bounds.

“Shit,” he curses to himself. “Sorry guys.”

“Don’t worry about it. We’ll get the next one.” Yamamoto assures him.

Kenma gives his best friend a concerned look as the coach calls for a time out.

“Are you ok?” He asks him as they head over to the bench.

“Yeah I’m ok, don’t worry.”

In truth, he wasn’t ok. The way Bokuto so casually flirted with you earlier and the way you had laughed at whatever stupid thing he had said bothered Kuroo more than he would ever admit. And he knew it was ridiculous for that to bother him, you were both his friends and he wanted the two of you to be happy. If you were to get together, he knew that Bokuto would treat you right. But the thought of you with Bokuto, or anyone really, upset him because the one you should really be with was him. He would treat you so well, take care of you no matter what. He knew you better than anyone, with maybe the exception of Kenma. He knew what you wanted and what you needed and most importantly, he would love you more than anyone else ever could.

His mind was racing, to the point where he couldn’t even hear what coach was saying. He knew that he really had to focus but the only thing that was currently on his mind was you. That wasn’t really anything new but he could usually focus on volleyball whenever he was playing. He found himself looking for you, knowing you always sat in the same spot whether it was normal practice or a practice match. Front row right behind the bench. He looks at you just as coach finishes talking and the team begins to head back onto the court.

You give him a sweet smile and he feels his own smile spread across his face. Ah there it is, he thinks. The smile that lights up your face as well as the room and makes his heart race in the best way possible. He loved that smile.

He heads back to his position with a new focus on the game. He doesn’t even let his mind wander when he and Bokuto are staring each other down across the net. Your smile had been just for him, even if it was just a supportive one from one friend to another, but it had been enough to chase away the jealousy that had overtaken his mind earlier.

After the game, you said goodbye to Bokuto and Akaashi and waited for Kuroo and Kenma to come out of the locker room. As you waited, you thought back to the game. Kuroo had not been acting like himself, he seemed distracted and almost angry. You were worried that something was wrong but he seemed to get back on track after the time out. So maybe he was just too fired up at the beginning, it had happened before when they played Fukurodani. The competitive streak between him and Bokuto was always on full display when they played each other. Whatever it was, you were glad he had settled in after that.

You were roused from your thoughts when you heard a voice speak.

“Hello? Earth to chibi-chan.” Kuroo says as he waves a hand in front of your face.

“Oh sorry. What was that?”

“Kenma asked what you wanted to eat. Where were you?”

“Just spacing out. You guys took so long I was afraid I might fall asleep.” You tease them.

“Sorry about that,” Kenma says, “Lev called Yaku short again and we had to make sure that Yaku didn’t murder him.”

“I swear Lev must have a death wish to keep bringing that up.” You laugh.

“Yeah tell me about it. And I get stuck breaking it up because I’m the captain.” Kuroo says with a sigh. “It gets tiring.” “Aww but you’re such a good captain Tetsu, I’m sure the team appreciates everything you do for them.”

“They damn well better. Anyway, food. I’m starving.”

“How about we just get some take out and go play games back at my house? I’ve had enough intense activity for today.” Kenma says as the three of you leave campus together.

In the end, that’s exactly what you ended up doing. Now with full stomachs you’re all playing a game together.

“Damn it Tetsu! Stop saving all those fucking turtle shells for me, use one on Kenma for a change.”

“But you react so much more to it than him kitten, it’s far more entertaining.” Kuroo laughs.

“No. You don’t get to call me that when you keep knocking me off the road.”

Kuroo laughs more and you end up getting hit with yet another shell.

“I swear I’m going to kill you Tetsu!” You yell at him while giving him a little glare.

“You both suck at this game, so what does it matter?” Kenma says with his eyes fixed on the screen, his character lapping you for the third time.

“Shut up Kenny!” You throw a pillow at him and hit him in the back of the head causing him to drive off the road. “HA, now who sucks?”

Kenma turns and gives you a look that promises revenge.

“Oh shit.” You get your arms up just barely in time to cover your face from the pillow that Kenma has launched at you.

“Ok fine, two can play this game.” You say before throwing a pillow back at him, the two of you laughing as you take turns hitting each other.

Kuroo just watches the scene before him, well just you actually. He loves riling you up because your expressions are all so cute. Whether you’re laughing and smiling like now or pouting and scowling like you were before when he kept messing you up in the game, he loved them all.

He didn’t really want to admit it, not even to himself though it was undoubtedly true, but he was hopelessly in love with you. It had been a few years already since he first felt it and denied it, though if he was being completely honest with himself he’d had a crush on you since you were kids. But kids don’t really understand the meaning of that or at least he knew that he hadn’t. Still he had managed to act the same as he always did around you, leaving you none the wiser to his changing feelings towards you.

Even when he had first become friends with Bokuto, which led to you and Kenma becoming friends with him, he had managed to ignore the flirty way that Bokuto interacted with you. But now it had started to bother him. He just didn’t know why it now did. Ok he did know. He couldn’t lie to himself about his feelings for you anymore and there was a very real possibility that you could end up with Bokuto, the two of you got along so well and he wasn’t some jerk that you wouldn’t look twice at. So he couldn’t hold back his feelings but he couldn’t tell you either. What if he ruined everything? Too bad that didn’t stop the jealousy from rising up like it had before.

As he sat there staring, he heard his phone go off signaling the arrival of a new text message. Before he could pick it up off the floor next to him, however, he was nailed in the face by a pillow followed by your laugh. The laugh that was music to his ears.

“It’s your fault this whole thing started Tetsu, so don’t think you’re getting out of it.” You say to him.

“Oh you’re in for it now kitten.” Kuroo says with a smirk before hitting you with a pillow.

And so he was dragged into your pillow war as well.

Fifteen minutes later, the three of you were all out of breath from throwing pillows but also from all the laughing. You always loved the time you got to spend with these two men. You glance over at Kuroo who has a smile on his face as he catches his breath.

Oh how you loved that smile of his, how you loved everything about him really. You so badly just wanted to curl up in his lap and have him wrap his arms around you. Everything just felt so right when he would hug you, like you just belonged there, wrapped up in his arms.

Of course that wasn’t likely to happen, he was super popular with the ladies and could have his pick of any one of them. He didn’t even have to make a move. Girls were always asking him out on dates but he would always turn them down. You figured he was just too preoccupied with volleyball and his studies. Still whenever you heard that yet another girl had asked him out, you would feel a pain in your chest and your stomach would churn as you waited to hear if he had said yes because you knew that one of these days he would. Just the thought of it devastated you but you knew that you would have to deal with it when it happened because you wanted him to be happy.

Yeah happy with me, the little voice in the back of your head supplied. You know that you would love him more than any other girl could because you already did and you would take such good care of him too. But you couldn’t risk it. What if he didn’t feel the same and it ended up ruining your friendship? You couldn’t lose him from your life and so you remained quiet about your feelings.

You tear your gaze away from Kuroo and see your phone blinking. Unlocking it you see that you have new messages. From Bokuto.

“Oh hey guys, Ko wants to know if we want to hang out on Saturday. Also he told me to tell you that before you say anything, he texted you first Tetsu but you didn’t answer.” You say to him as he picks up his phone to check.

“So he did.” Kuroo replies.

“It’s fine with me as long as we don’t do too much, he has way too much energy.” Kenma chimes in.

“Well you’re not wrong there.” You chuckle.

“Yeah ok.” Kuroo adds.

“Do you want to text him and let him know Tetsu? Or should I?”

“I’m sure he’d rather hear from you than me, so you can do it.” He says a bit more sharply than intended.

You raise an eyebrow but just shrug your shoulders and message Bokuto back.

Kuroo makes his way to your house. It had been decided that they would all go there and watch movies.

You lived alone now after your grandmother had passed away in your first year of college. She had left the house to you as well as whatever inheritance she had. He didn’t know where your parents were and he had asked you about them once but you said that you didn’t know where they were either. Your grandmother was all the family you’d had.

It had been two years already since she passed. He remembered how upset you had been and how he and Kenma had stayed with you every night for a month. They helped you with anything you needed and took turns holding you as you cried. They also made sure you were taking care of yourself and they tried to keep you busy, hoping that it would help you with your grieving process and it had helped. He was happy that he had been able to be there for you and help you heal.

That was also when he realized for the first time just how hard he had fallen for you. When he saw you cry his heart shattered and he wanted nothing more than to wipe your tears away, kiss them away really, and see you happy and smiling once more. He never wanted to see you cry again. He had no idea if you felt that way about him though and so he went back to denying and suppressing.

Kuroo reaches your house and hears humming coming from the backyard. He pushes open the gate and finds you watering the garden. Your grandmother had started it when you were all younger and now you took care of it.

“Hey chibi-chan. The garden looks great.”

“Hey Tetsu” You happily greet him with a smile as you put the hose away.

There it was again that smile, his smile. He was certain that you didn’t smile at anyone else like that, not even Bokuto. But maybe that was just him hoping that was the case.

You come over to him and give him a big hug. He breathes in the coconut scent of your shampoo. He loved that smell, you’d used it for so long now and it was just so undeniably you. If he ever smelled it elsewhere it would immediately bring you to the forefront of his mind. You separate from him sooner than he would’ve liked but Kenma and Bokuto had arrived and so you went over to greet them.

The night went by in a blur for Kuroo. There was food and movies, a couple of games, and you had all chatted about whatever. The only thing he could focus on, however, was the way that Bokuto looked at you, the way he made you laugh, the way he touched your arm and he felt that jealousy bubble up again. All he could think was that should be me. Why can’t I just tell her?

Because you could ruin everything if you did, the sabotaging voice in the back of his head told him.

He needed to get his mind off of you, needed to distract himself from his feelings for you. But do I really want to? He was unsure, that was until he saw Bokuto give you an innocent little kiss on the cheek when he left later on. It was no different than the friendly kisses on the cheek you would get from Kenma but it made him angry. And he knew it shouldn’t so he decided then that he did need to find a way to distract himself from his feelings for you.

It had been a couple of weeks since the movie night at your house and Kuroo had been acting strange ever since. He didn’t hang out with you as much as he usually did and when he did hang out he acted distant. Things you would say or do that would normally have him laughing hysterically, now didn’t even really get a response like he wasn’t even paying attention.

What was wrong with him? Did I do something to upset him? You had no idea but it was breaking your heart little by little. Now you were sitting in Kenma’s room, playing a game with him.

“Do you know what Tetsu’s problem is?”

“Not sure. He hasn’t talked to me about it but I don’t think his new girlfriend is helping.”

“Girlfriend?” You ask with surprise.

This was the first you’d heard of it and you felt your stomach lurch, threatening to spill its contents.

“Yeah. I guess she asked him out a couple of weeks ago and he said yes but she isn’t a nice person so I don’t know why he’s dating her.”

“Am I not worthy of hearing about this? I mean we’re supposed to be best friends.”

“He didn’t tell you? That’s weird.”

“I’m going to text that jerk right now.”

You pick up your phone, open the text thread, and send him a message.

You: “You have a girlfriend? Why didn’t you tell me?”

Tetsu: “Oh yeah. I guess I forgot.”

You: “Forgot? We’re best friends and you just forgot?”

Tetsu: “Yeah, sorry.”

You: “Well do I ever get to meet her?”

Tetsu: “I guess. Are you at Kenma’s? We can stop by there before we go out.”

You: “Yeah I am.”

Tetsu: “See you in a little bit then.”

You put your phone to the side.

“They’re coming over here. Sorry Kenny.”

“It’s fine but you’re going to hate her.” He responds as he continues to play his game.

Ten minutes later you hear a voice come from Kenma’s bedroom door.

“Oh wow, is this really your room Kenma? Are you sure you’re old enough to be in college? Because it looks like a 12 year old lives here.” Kuroo’s girlfriend says.

Your eyes widen at how rude she just was. She’s pretty but Kenma is right she isn’t very nice.

Kenma just rolls his eyes and ignores her as he continues to play.

“Haha, yeah Kenma loves his games.” Kuroo laughs but you can tell it’s one of those fake ones people do when they’re embarrassed. “Anyway this is my girlfriend, gf/n.”

You decide that you will do your best to be nice for Kuroo’s sake.

“Hi, I’m Tetsu’s frien—“ Before you can finish speaking she cuts you off.

“Yeah, yeah I know who you are.” She shoots you a glare. “Ok I met her. Can we leave now? I don’t want to look at this bitch anymore.” She says with disgust.

You see annoyance flicker across Kuroo’s face at her words.

Oh hell no is she getting away with that, you think.

“Excuse me? What the fuck did you just call me? If there’s a bitch in here then it’s clearly your rude ass.” You get up off the bed where you were sitting and go to approach her only for Kenma to stop you.

“Calm down.” He says as he wraps his arms around you, hugging you to him to keep you in place.

“Yeah ok. Let’s go.” Kuroo says as he leads her away from you and out the front door.

Once they’re gone, Kenma lets you go.

“I told you that you were going to hate her. She’s rude to everyone.”

You clench your fists and let out a frustrated shriek.

“What a fucking bitch! Why the fuck is he dating someone like that?”

“I’m not sure.” He tells you though the look in his eyes suggests otherwise, still you decide not to press him for an answer.

Kuroo sits on his couch. It had been a week since he’d introduced you to his girlfriend, gf/n. Ugh, that didn’t even sound right to him. The only one he wanted to call his girlfriend was you.

Why was he even dating her? Oh right, to forget he’s in love with you. Too bad it’s not working. It’s making him think about you even more actually because he can’t help but compare the two of you.

She was pretty. You were beautiful.

You were sweet, kind, thoughtful, caring, funny, and smart. She had been nothing but rude and nasty to everyone, including him a few times.

You fit so perfectly in his arms like it was where you were meant to be, He had to stop himself from pushing her off of him when she would hug him and he would always come up with an excuse to dodge having to kiss her.

He felt an ache in his chest with every beat of his heart as he thought about you. He’d been acting like such a jerk to you too since he started dating her. He knew he needed to break up with her, you were right, she was a rude bitch.

A knock on his door stirs Kuroo from his thoughts. He gets up and opens it, on the other side stands Kenma. He glances around before he speaks.

“Is she here?”

“Who? Oh, gf/n? No, I’m supposed to meet her later.” Kuroo tells him and lets him into the house.

“Good. We need to talk Kuroo.”

“What’s up?”

“First of all, you’re being a jerk to y/n. She’s supposed to be one of your best friends yet you’ve done nothing but blow her off and ignore her. It’s messed up.” He looks right into Kuroo’s eyes as he says it.

Kuroo flinches slightly at Kenma’s words despite already knowing it was the truth.

“Second of all, you need to get rid of that bitch you’re calling a girlfriend. She’s not a nice person. She’s rude to everyone. The team doesn’t want her to come anywhere near them so tell her to stay away or you’re going to have a problem on your hands.”

“Ok fine. I’ll tell her not to come to practices anymore. She’ll probably be happy about that actually.”

“And lastly, not only is she rude to all of us but she gets downright nasty with y/n. I have to keep stopping her from punching your “girlfriend” in the face.” He says, using air quotes when saying girlfriend. “The other day we were eating lunch together and your “girlfriend” came over to us. She ignored me completely which I was fine with but she had the nerve to insult your other best friend. You remember her, right?”

He winces at Kenma’s words.

“The bitch told y/n to stay away from you and that you didn’t want anything to do with her anymore.”

Kuroo lets out a groan and pinches the bridge of his nose as Kenma continues to speak.

“I’m not really sure what you’re thinking but deal with it instead of running away from it.”

Being called out on his bullshit causes Kuroo to get defensive.

“I’m not running away from anything and her name isn’t bitch, it’s gf/n.”

Kenma lets out a derisive laugh.

“Yeah, funny how that’s all you call her by, her name. Don’t people usually have pet names for their girlfriends? Like kitten?” He pretends to think. “Or maybe, chibi-chan?” He gives Kuroo a pointed look before leaving.

“Damn it! What the fuck am I doing?” He says to the emptiness of the room after Kenma’s departure.

Damn Kenma’s observational skills. He loved them on the volleyball court but not when they were used against him.

I can’t just let him think he can read me so easily so I won’t. He had his pride and he could be stubborn when he wanted to be. He was not going to let Kenma know how easily he had seen right through him.

Kuroo looks at the clock and sighs. Time to get ready to see his “girlfriend.”

The following Saturday you were sitting in your living room with Kenma and Bokuto. You invited them over to watch movies again and had hoped Kuroo would come too.

“Is Kuroo coming?” Bokuto asks.

You sigh.

“No. I invited him but he said he had plans with that bitch.”

That was her name now as far as you were concerned after the multiple times she had gone out of her way to be nasty to you.

“Why is he still with her? I thought he was supposed to be smart. He must know that she isn’t worth his time. I saw her screaming at him outside the gym last week when we went there for another practice match so she isn’t even nice to him. Did you talk to him?”

“I did.” Kenma answers. “He didn’t listen, obviously. Though thankfully she stays away from the team now. I think that’s what she was screaming at him about actually, I heard some of it. Apparently we’re jealous of how happy she makes him or some nonsense and he should stop being friends with us.”

“He didn’t really respond to her from what I saw when I walked by, he didn’t even see me.” Bokuto says.

“Yeah he just stood there and let her scream. He really needs to get rid of her.”

“Are you serious? She just screamed at him? I swear I will knock that bitch out for treating him like that. I’m going to corner his ass after practice on Monday and try to talk some sense into him. Maybe he needs to hear it from someone a little louder.”

“Yeah you tell him kitty cat.” Bokuto cheers.

“Oh I will. Don’t worry. Now let’s pick something to watch.”

True to your word, there you were Monday after practice waiting for Kuroo to emerge from the locker room. Once he came out, you grabbed his wrist and dragged him along to the now empty gym.

“Why did you drag me in here?”

“Because we need to talk. Look I’m just going to say it, you need to dump that nasty bitch.”

Kuroo sighs.

“Look just because you don’t like her doesn’t mean I should dump her.”

“That isn’t even it. She isn’t even a nice person. You deserve someone so much better than her. Someone who is sweet and caring like you. Someone who is smart and funny like you. Someone who will take care of you and treat you like the amazing guy that you are. Someone who will love you for you. And I’m sorry but that isn’t her. You deserve someone who makes you smile and happy every day not someone who screams at you and treats you and all of the people you care about like shit. You’d be so much better off without her Tetsu.”

Kuroo listens to all you have to say. You were right of course. He knew this. He knew it before Kenma had even spoken to him. It had been nothing more than an experiment and it had failed miserably. Maybe that made him a jerk for using someone like that but he had gone into it genuinely hoping that he could find someone else he liked. He should have known that it would never work though, he was way too in love with you. Even if he had found a sweet girl who he liked he still would never have been able to be with anyone but you.

This had all taken way too long for him to truly understand. He had just been way too worried, or maybe it was scared, that it would all blow up in his face and so he did exactly what Kenma said. He tried running from it instead of dealing with it and now here he was. His feelings for you had only grown more intense and it was just his sheer stubbornness that was preventing him from doing what needed to be done.

He felt beat up and drained from this “relationship.” He needed to get out and he needed to tell you how he felt.

Your voice brings him back to reality.

“Tetsu, I’m one of your best friends, I want you to be happy. And I’m not the only one who’s worried about you either. All the rest of your friends are too, Kenma, the guys on the team.”

He knew it was true that you and Kenma and everyone else were concerned about him. He knew it was time to end this before it got even worse and it was already terrible.

“Even Bokuto is worried about you. He doesn’t even see you as often as the rest of us but he knows you’re not happy.”

Bokuto, yes he must have gotten together with you by now, he thought as he remembered all the laughs and flirtation that went on between the two of you. He told himself he could be happy for you both, you were his friends, even if it also broke his heart. And yet he still felt the slightest glimmer of hope that maybe he still had a chance. It was that little bit of hope that was keeping the jealousy he felt simmering in his gut from rising up. That is until you blindsided him.

“He agrees with the rest of us, how you deserve someone better. We were talking about it the other day when he came over my house.”

His mouth went dry and he could hear his heart thudding in his ears. Bokuto had been at your house. Alone with you. He felt his stomach drop and his heart clench as his mind wandered, led astray by the jealousy that he’d only had a tenuous grip on.

What had the two of you been doing in your house? Cuddling? Kissing? Had he touched you? Had the two of you done something even more?

He couldn’t control it, the jealousy had taken over and his anger surged. He was more angry at himself than anything else, he’d lost his chance because he had been too chicken to tell you his true feelings. Unfortunately, he let it come out and he directed it straight at you.

“Is that all? Why are you even here? Just to lecture me? Shouldn’t you be under Bokuto somewhere instead?”

Your mouth drops open at his words. Had he really just said that to you?

“What the fuck did you just say?” You feel your pulse quicken as your own anger rises.

“Oh I’m sorry, is it Kenma’s turn then?” He replies in a mocking tone.

Your anger surges and before you even realize what’s happening, your fist connects with your best friend’s face. You didn’t even register the pain in your hand when you shoved him after.

“I came here because I care about you and I’m worried about you and that’s what you say to me? Go to hell Kuroo.”

You turn and run from the gym refusing to let him see the tears that had begun running down your cheeks.

Kuroo regretted it all as soon as he said it. Regretted it even more when you punched him in the face. Who knew you had such a vicious right hook? But the fact that you called him Kuroo instead of Tetsu hurt him more than any punch to the face could. You hadn’t called him that since you first met when you were kids. He had fucked up badly and all because he couldn’t be honest with you or himself. This whole situation could have been avoided.

He knew he deserved all of it though, including the black eye you’d given him. That had been three days ago now and he hadn’t even caught a glimpse of you since. He ended up dumping his “girlfriend” that night and it was like a huge weight had been lifted from his shoulders. He would have felt happier than he had in a month if he hadn’t said what he did to you.

He should never have let it go on for as long as he had, maybe he could have gotten his chance with you. Instead he was lamenting the fact that he had hurt the one person he loved more than anyone, the one he had never wanted to hurt. What a fool he had been.

Laying on his bed, he stares up at the ceiling when he hears a familiar yet less cheery than normal voice enter the room.

“Hey” Bokuto says as he stands in the doorway and leans against the frame.

“What do you want?” Kuroo asks in a somber tone.

“What did you say to her bro? She was so pissed but I think she was more sad than anything.”

Kuroo feels his heart clench at the thought that he had made you sad. Your anger he would gladly take. But your tears? He couldn’t handle that.

“It doesn’t matter.”

“Look I know she went to talk to you about, uh, gf/n. Right? Anyway, she’s just worried about you and so are the rest of us. She isn’t a good person for you, she’ll just drag you down. You deserve b—“

He cuts Bokuto off.

“I deserve better than her? Yeah well unfortunately the one who’s best for me is with you.” Kuroo says in a dejected tone.

Bokuto furrows his brow in confusion.

“What are you talking about?”

“You know who I’m talking about, you’re always flirting with her and shit. Congrats, I’m happy for you. Just make sure you treat her well.”

“Wait, do you think y/n and I are a couple? Just because I say flirty stuff to her? That’s just for fun, it’s not serious. Besides why would that bother you…oh I get it now. You’re in love with her, aren’t you?”

“What difference does it make? You can stop lying to make me feel better. I know you spend time at her house, she told me herself that you were there the other day. I’m sure you two got really close while you were alone together.”

“Dude, seriously? We watched movies and I wasn’t alone with her. Kenma was there too, you can go ask him yourself. I’ll just wait for you to come apologize to me afterwards for being such an idiot. Don’t worry I’ll forgive you because I’m a great guy like that.” Bokuto tells him before flashing a confident grin and leaving Kuroo’s house.

After Bokuto leaves, Kuroo goes rushing over to Kenma’s house and bursts into his room where he finds him playing a game. Kenma glances away from the screen at Kuroo’s entrance before looking back at it.

“You were at her house with Bokuto?” He asks, slightly out of breath from running over.

“Wow, you’re so dumb Kuroo. I thought you were supposed to be so smart. Yes I was there with Bokuto and you should have been too but you blew her off again and went out with your “girlfriend” instead.”

“Shit! I can’t believe I forgot about that.” Kuroo says as he sits on Kenma’s bed and puts his head in his hands.

“Yeah, well, you were preoccupied. Where is the bitch anyway?”

“How should I know? I dumped her three days ago.”

“Well that’s good at least. Honestly you should have just told y/n that you loved her from the start, geez.”

“I know but I was too scared that she might reject me and then never want to talk to me again.”

“You know that she would never do that, she cares about you too much.”

“I know that I should have dumped that girl after you talked to me too but I didn’t like how easily you saw through me and I didn’t want you to know that you were right. I really am dumb.”

Kuroo lets out a sorrowful sigh.

“Do you think she’ll ever forgive me, Kenma?”

“Of course she will but you better beg for her forgiveness and finally tell her the truth.”

Two more days passed and Kuroo had apologized to Bokuto for being an idiot and Bokuto forgave him just like he said that he would.

You, however, had expertly evaded all of his attempts to get ahold of you and he was starting to wonder if he’d ever even see you again let alone talk to you. He still hadn’t caught a single glance of you, you wouldn’t answer his calls or respond to his messages, when he went to your house you would ignore him.

As he left his tenth message of the day for you, he made his way over to Kenma’s house. When he entered his friend’s room, he was greeted with his first glimpse of you in nearly a week.

“Sorry Kenny, I have to go.” You say as you get up and head for the door but before you could leave Kuroo catches you by the wrist.

“Wait chibi-chan.”

You just look down and shake him off before disappearing out the front door.

“She told me what you said to her. You fucked up so bad Kuroo. You totally deserved that black eye.”

“Yeah I know I did. But how am I supposed to talk to her and apologize if she doesn’t want to be anywhere near me?”

“I don’t know but you better figure out something before you lose your chance for good.”

Tears roll down your cheeks as you water your garden. You didn’t know what else to do after you fled Kenma’s house. You weren’t even sure how you felt anymore, aside from sad at the whole situation. Sad about what had happened between you and Kuroo, you knew he couldn’t have meant what he said he was just upset but it still hurt you, and sad that he was dating someone so awful. He was far too kind, thoughtful, and caring to be with someone as vile as that girl. Most of all you just missed him, your best friend, the sweet goofy guy that you had fallen madly in love with.

You swipe at your cheeks to rid them of the tears when you hear that voice, the one that you loved so much.

“Hey chibi-chan, can we please talk?” Kuroo asks. Closing the gate behind him, he approaches you.

You stop watering and look at him.

“Are you even allowed to? What would your “girlfriend” say?”

Just as you are about to put the hose down and go into your house, locking him out, his voice stops you.

“I dumped her. You were right, you all were. I was just being stubborn or stupid. Maybe both.”

“Definitely both. I’m glad you started thinking with your brain again instead of something else.”

Kuroo laughs to himself.

“Yeah, funny thing is I never even kissed her. Forget about anything else.”

“Wait. Are you serious?”

“Yeah. There’s only one person I want to kiss and it wasn’t her.”

Before you can process what he just said, he rushes on.

“I am so sorry kitten. I never should have said what I did. I didn’t mean it at all. I know you’re not like that.” He moves in front of you and gets on his knees. “Please forgive me, I’m begging you. I wouldn’t be able to handle losing you.”

He looks up at you with pleading eyes and remorse written all over his face.

“You hurt me when you said that shit Tetsu.”

He felt some relief at hearing his name, at least he wasn’t Kuroo anymore.

“I know I did. Let me make it up to you. I’ll do anything. You can punch me again if you want, which by the way where the hell did you learn to hit like that?”

You couldn’t help but laugh at that.

“You didn’t mean it?” You ask even though you already know he didn’t.

“No, of course not.” He says before mumbling under his breath, “I was just being stupid.”

“What was that?” You ask having not quite caught what he just said.

“Nothing. Please forgive me chibi-chan. I need you in my life.”

You let out a sigh. You knew he was being genuine and you loved him too much to not forgive him.

“Well lucky for you, I don’t want to lose you either. You’re too important to me.”

Kuroo’s face brightens.

“Does that mean you forgive me?”

“That depends. Are you back to being my Tetsu? Or are you still the jerk that you’ve been for the past month?”

“I’m your Tetsu, I promise kitten.”

“Hmm..” You pretend to be lost in thought looking at him before a mischievous grin breaks out across your face.

Kuroo raises an eyebrow at you and then you’re spraying him with the hose you still have in your hand.

“Oops, my finger slipped.” You laugh as he shakes his arms to get some of the water off.

“Oh you’re going to pay for that.”

You let out a little shriek when he rises to his feet. You drop the hose and run.

Kuroo chases you around your yard, both of your laughs echoing off of the nearby trees. It doesn’t take long before you feel a pair of strong arms wrap around your waist, lift you up, and spin you around. This causes the both of you to fall onto the soft grass. You land on your back and Kuroo somehow manages to land on top of you, using his forearms to brace himself so he doesn’t crush you.

Hovering above you, he stares deeply into your eyes with a serious intensity.

“I want to kiss you so badly. I have for a while now.” He glances to your lips before returning his gaze to your eyes.

Your eyes widen with his confession, your heart racing in your chest.

“So what’s stopping you then?”

A big smile spreads across Kuroo’s face and then he’s pressing his lips tenderly against yours.

You lose yourself in the kiss, lips parting slightly allowing him to slip his tongue inside your mouth and begin a dance with yours. Your one hand finds its way into his hair while the other one rests against the back of his neck. Your heart pounds and your mind races. How many times had you imagined what his kiss would feel like? A countless number it seemed and yet the real thing was so much better than anything you had ever imagined.

You could feel all the love and care he was pouring into this kiss and you did the same. It seemed like hours and yet seconds at the same time when he separated from your mouth.

“I’m so in love with you chibi-chan. You fit so perfectly in my arms and I know that it’s where you belong. I want nothing more than to hold you close each and every day. I’m just sorry I didn’t tell you sooner. I was afraid that I might lose you if you didn’t feel the same. I’m a dumbass.”

“Oh Tetsu, I’ve been in love with you for a while now and I thought the same damn thing as you. So I guess we’re both dumbasses.” You let out a chuckle and he does too.

“I guess we are, but that doesn’t matter now. Will you be mine chibi-chan?”

“Nothing would make me happier.”

“Good then I’m going to hold you close every day. You’re mine and I’m yours from now on.” He says with a smile.

“Always and forever, my Tetsu.” You say with a smile before he captures your lips once more in another loving kiss.

#kuroo #kuroo tetsurou #kuroo x reader #kuroo tetsuro #haikyuu kuroo #haikyuu!!#haikyū!!

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demetriandelibinaryboyfriends · 3 years

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AIGHT Y’ALL I wasn’t tagged but I’m doing this anyways because f u c k i t

It's the year 2021 and you're obsessed with The Karate Kid. How are you feeling?

Deadasss weird as fuck, my dude. Like...out of all the things I could’ve predicted happening in our lord’s year 2021, it definitely was NOT getting hyperfixated on a hammy gay ship with a punk and a nerd from a goddamn karate soap opera. And yet...here we are??? I will never understand hyperfixations, my guy. But I’ve met a lot of really cool people in this fandom, so I can’t really complain.

Did you grow up with TKK or are you new to the series?

I have never seen a single Karate Kid movie in my entire life. When I was a kid, it looked kinda dumb so I never got into it XD But then I saw my roommate watching Cobra Kai on Youtube Red one day (he has every streaming service known to man) and I was hooked. And...here I am!

We gotta do the basics. Favorite character:

Literally EVERYONE except for Kreese, Yasmine, Kyler, and Tory, sorry stans

Okay but if we gotta pick, Johnny Lawrence is my Problematic Fave. Also I love my boy Daniel, he’s trying his best!!! And Amanda LaRusso, we stan a queen!!!

Among the kids, definitely Miguel, with Demetri as a close second. I also love Sam, Aisha, Moon, and Hawk (pre- and post-Bastardization Arc, anyways XD)!

Favorite ship:

Take a look at my username and take a WILD FUCKING GUESS lmao Yes it’s Eli/Demetri because DUH, every interaction they have is so fucking gay and Eli fucking saved him!!! And came back to him!!! And betrayed the world’s most terrifying dojo with a WAR CRIMINAL SENSEI all for Demetri!!! And how Demetri was willing to forgive him for everything at the drop of a hat because he always had faith there was still good in his best friend??? That’s TRUE LOVE motherfuckers. Please let them kiss in Season 4. I will sell you all of my limbs. Sam/Miguel is a close second because they’re cute as shit and it’s just so lovely to see two people so unapologetically smitten with each other. They are in LOVE, and I will RIOT if they break up again!!! Keep Sam and Miguel together 2k21!!!

Underrated character:

SAMANTHA LARUSSO!!! The amount of hate my girl gets for acting like a normal teenager and fucking up occasionally JUST like the rest of the cast makes me want to start punching things. She cares SO MUCH about her friends!!! And she loves the shit out of Miguel!!! She hasn’t always been the best friend but you know what??? Neither has Hawk, and we still forgave his ass!!! Also LET HER BE FEMININE but also kick utter ass, my god!!! Femininity should not be synonymous with being weak, y’all! ALSO DEMETRI, like yes, he likes to complain and occasionally run his mouth, but guess what else he likes to do??? Never give up on the love of his life his best friend Eli Moskowitz and refuse to lose faith in him no matter how much of a little shit he’s become, and I for one think that’s very badass of him. Also the way he takes care of Eli pre-Cobra Kai in his own snarky bastard way makes me absolutely Weak and needs more appreciation. Like the dude has charisma and COULD have probably made other friends and left Eli behind if he wanted, but did he??? No, he wants the weepy loser with the lip scar in the polo shirts and dorky sweaters and will protect him as much as his wimpy ass is able!!!

Underrated ship (don’t say therapy, lol):

Among the adults, Daniel/Amanda!!! Like maybe I just don’t watch that much tv, but it seems kinda rare to me to see a happily married hetero couple, and it’s just nice to see a married couple who genuinely love each other and where there’s not like...lingering resentment or some shit. I feel like this ship gets overshadowed by Lawrusso a lot (which like--okay, fair!!! Daniel and Johnny do have a ridiculous amount of chemistry, and the gay undertones are undeniable, so I get it), and it makes me kinda sad. I do love Lawrusso, but I don’t like when Amanda has to get her heart broke for it to happen, you feel? Among the kids, honestly YasMoon. Like I really love the idea of Yasmine trying to better herself because of Moon’s influence on her and because Moon like...inspires her to be a better person, I guess? With their pretty strong friendship, it just makes more sense to me for Yasmine to get a redemption arc through Moon than through Demetri. ALSO girls DO often pull the whole “mean girl” shtick to cover up being closeted lesbians, and Moon IS canonically bi, so it could work!!! I just think this one could be a really interesting Friends to Lovers take, and could make a really nice coming-out arc for Yas. And MoonPiper too, honestly!!! Like they only got 5 seconds of screentime so I understand WHY it’s underrated, but I still love what we DID get and loved that there was a canon gay ship (even if only for 1 scene lmao). I’m really excited to potentially see more of them in Season 4!!! Please, I’m begging!!!

Wax On, Wax Off or Sweep the Leg?

Sweep the Leg because it will always be deeply hilarious to me how Demetri took note of the first move Eli ever used on him and spent presumably weeks perfecting it OUT OF SPITE just to get him back with it at the soccer game MONTHS later. Just goes to show how OBSESSED Demetri is with Eli and their little karate rivalry which is just NOT straight, I’m sorry

Which of Daniel’s dumb little outfits is your favorite?

There’s something so funny about this pretentious little fuck walking around in fancy suits once he becomes a #SuccessfulBusinessman, and still occasionally trying to do karate in a full-ass suit (take THAT, Tom Cole’s boba!!!) I’m also a big fan of how he looks in his gi with his little headband. Still killing that look as a 40-50-something!!!

Character from the films you most want to return, who’s not Terry Silver:

Tbh I have still never seen a single Karate Kid movie (they took them off of Netflix, RIP), so...I don’t really care if they bring anyone else back??? I’m invested in the characters we already have in the show, I don’t need some rando from the movies to make a cameo to have a good time XD The only character I really wanted them to bring back was Ali, and they already did, so like...I’m good??? That’s all I really needed, I can die in peace now XD

Scene that lives in your head rent-free:

Basically any fluffy Elimetri scene, but 5 in particular: ~Miguel first meeting Eli and Demetri at the lunch table, and Eli looking at Demetri like he hung every goddamn star in the sky ~Demetri going off at a terrifying, “unhinged” karate sensei on the first day of Cobra Kai because he made fun of Eli’s lip and Demetri is not about that shit ~ELI STEALING DEMETRI’S NACHO AND SMIRKING AT HIM, LIKE EXCUSE ME SIR PLEASE BE A LITTLE LESS HOMOSEXUAL IN FRONT OF YOUR GIRLFRIEND ~Eli yanking Demetri onstage during Valley Fest to hold a board, and Demetri being visibly like...extremely turned on when Eli breaks said board ~ELI SAVING DEMETRI DURING THE CHRISTMAS FIGHT, ELI APOLOGIZING, DEMETRI AND ELI KICKING COBRA ASS TOGETHER AKSBDCUWYVCBU

Will Anthony LaRusso ever be relevant?

I hope not! He’s kind of a funny meme character to pop up now and again but I don’t think he deserves a serious plotline when there are so many more interesting characters to follow.

You live in The Valley and are forced into the karate gang war. Which dojo do you join?

Miyagi-Do because Cobra Kai would eat me alive. Also I’d probably straight up get stuck and die in that cement mixer, if I even made it that far XD Besides, being salty that your friend who you have a crush on likes martial arts better than you and starting martial arts to impress them but also being too lazy to join anything TOO intense is a Big Mood and I am certainly not speaking from personal experience here, no sirree

What’s your training montage song?

"Shut Up and Drive” by Rihanna for a weight-training and bicep-flexing montage, “Whatever It Takes” by Imagine Dragons for a more intense punching-and-kicking-shit montage. I don’t know why this is, I just feel it in my heart.

It’s the crossover event of the century! Which TV show are you combining with Cobra Kai for an hour-long Saturday night special?

*Briefly panics because I don’t actually watch that much TV and most of the stuff I do watch is fantasy/sci fi shit that absolutely would not work for a CK crossover*

Hmmmm okay but ACTUALLY

You know what would be fucking funny as hell would be an It’s Always Sunny In Philadelphia crossover. Allow me to elaborate: ~The Gang goes to LA on vacation during the height of the Karate Dojo Wars. They literally can get barely anything done without all these goddamn karate-fighting teenagers getting in the way. ~They are all very annoyed by this. Even the most obscure of tourist attractions is eventually intercepted by karate fights. ~Mac tries to join Cobra Kai because he sees all this karate fighting on, and wants to unquestionably prove both his badassery and masculinity. Both Johnny and Kreese are like “Wtf are you doing here? Aren’t you like 30?” ~Mac gets a planet-sized crush on Johnny after all of 5 minutes and endlessly gushes to the gang about him. The gang mercilessly roast him about this and about how much of a pathetic loser with his life together in no way whatsoever Johnny sounds like. They proceed to have exactly 0 self awareness about this. ~The Waitress is in town visiting family or something, and Charlie is stalking her, as per usual. However, every time he’s about to go up and talk to her, a pack of battling Miyagi-Dos and Cobra Kais throwing punches and kicks everywhere blocks his path. One times, Mac is among one of these packs and Charlie is like “???? He didn’t get kicked out of that teen karate dojo yet???” ~Seeing how much the Kids These Days seem to like fighting, Charlie drops by a local high school to try and sell Fight Milk to the kids doing karate. Only Kyler and Brucks buy into it, and subsequently get the entire West Valley High wrestling team sick. Charlie is inevitably arrested, as Counselor Blatt thinks he’s selling the kids drugs. ~Dennis makes a plan to have sex with every hot chick he can in Los Angeles. He meets Ali on a dating app post-divorce, and inevitably tries to bang her. It doesn’t work. ~Frank crashes the rental car, and inevitably the gang ends up at one of Daniel’s dealerships. Dee quickly takes a liking to Daniel and is like “Watch, assholes--Imma homewreck this guy’s marriage.” She starts frequenting the dealerships to attempt to flirt with Daniel, until one day she walks in on him having sex with Johnny in a back room and she’s like “Is that the guy from Mac’s goddamn dojo?!?!” ~Dennis, of course, tries to sleep with Amanda. Amanda is not having it, and rebukes him in the most snarky, Amanda-esque way possible. Dennis is just like “Oh not AGAIN--the women in this goddamn diva city have too high of standards!” ~Later on, the gang is at the beach and Dennis spots the blonde lady he went out on an ill-fate date with, and decides to give it another shot--that is, until he sees her go up and kiss another woman and he’s like “IS THAT THE LADY FROM THE CAR DEALERSHIP??? STUPID-KARATE-KICK-COMMERCIAL’S WIFE?!? YOU HAVE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME.” ~Dee complains to Dennis about her lack of luck getting laid, and Dennis is just like “Oh come ON, is everyone in Los Angeles gay???” Smash cut to Hawk and Demetri having sex, Moon and Piper making out, Bert and Nate holding hands, Chris and Mitch doing oral, and Amanda, Ali, and Carmen having a threesome. ~Frank tries to scam Kreese into buying cheaply-made karate equipment for his dojo. The gang ends up having to leave LA because Kreese is quite literally plotting all of their murders.

For tagging, uuuuhhhhhh @jackonthelongwalk @soe-leo @max-eagle-fang @cc-tinslebee @backawayfromthegay @asphodel-storm do the thing, if y’all haven’t yet!

#cobra kai #cobra kai season 1 #cobra kai season 2 #cobra kai season 3 #ck #tag game #binary boyfriends #daniel larusso #johnny lawrence #it's always sunny in philadelphia #iasip

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s1utspeare · 3 years

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Get To Know Me!

@foxofninetales tagged me in this ask game and since I LOVE HER i will now be doing it (i mean i’d do it anyway but now it will be filled with love for FOX i am not accepting CRITICISM ON THIS POINT)

Part I

name: Brigid! I’m named after the Irish goddess of like, poetry, healing, smithcraft, and protection, or the Irish saint (they’re both pretty similar it’s just whether or not you’re talking about Celtic religion or Catholicism). She’s very cool, and I think it’s a very fitting name for who I turned out to be!

pronouns: she/her

star sign: i’m an insufferable theatre kid of course I’m a Leo

height: 5'8″ babeeeyyy (172 cm). I’m not short like, at all, but all of my family members are over six foot, so I’m like. tiny in comparison. they all make fun of me all the time for it :(

time: 8:49pm! A delightful time of evening!!!

birthday: July 31st, same day as Harry Potter lol.

nationality: american :P

fave bands/groups/solo artists: hnnnngggghhhh why would u ask me this I don’t KNOW jk i just have a lot uhhhhh all time faves would be Bastille and Mumford and Sons, but I’m SUPER into kpop right now, so my top groups are BTS, Stray Kids, and One OK Rock (who are technically jpop but I really like their stuff). I also am a Broadway BITCH (hello, theatre kid) so before this year all of my Spotify library was basically just show tunes.

song stuck in your head: Get Away by VeriVery. I think they’re a pretty new group? idk i saw them on one of those tumblr promotional things and checked out the music video which is like??? really interesting conceptually? so I’ve just been listening to the song for a while lol.

last movie you watched: Train to Busan! I’m gearing up to write a dmbj zombie apocalypse AU and so I was like “this is a popular zombie film! I’ll watch it for inspiration! :)” holy shit. holy shit i was so wrong. It’s one of the most viscerally affecting films I think I’ve ever seen, I was like. On the verge of an anxiety attack the entire time but in like the best possible way?? it’s a mastery of character introduction and action/horror and I cried for like the last ten minutes straight. SO affecting. I do NOT RECOMMEND IT if u are already made anxious by zombie apocalypse scenarios, blood, violence, and a Lot of Death.

last show you binged: hmmm uh like I’m currently watching Mystic Nine but at like a normal pace, so the last show I probably binge watched was maybeeee The Uncanny Counter on Netflix? HIGHLY recommend that one, I made @cross-d-a watch it and I’m living for her liveblog reactions lmao. Idk most of my free time has been spent writing the past few months which. After months of only having the energy to watch shows is kind of really invigorating? the things u can do when u fix ur health I’ll tell you what

when you created your blog: in 2012 asldighalsdkfjladskjga i came on here to like burdge’s pjo fanart :)

the last thing you googled: "is it bad not to have an air cap on your tire” ALSDIGHALKDFJLADFJA FUCK ME (i learned that it’s not necessarily bad but it can get dirt and stuff built up in there so I went to the store after work today and replaced it)

other blogs: everything is here bc i am too lazy to create a sideblog! so sorry to everyone who does not follow me for cdrama content bc this is all I am now.

why i chose my url: cause it’s my ao3 username and i wanted people to be able to find me more easily on tumblr! :) the long answer is because i love shakespeare and also i think that slut is a really funny word and concept for me especially because i am one of the most sexless people u will ever meet in ur life so slutspeare is like. an aggressively ace joke that only I think is funny.

how many people are you following: 588

how many followers do you have: ah just over 200?!??!!? which is like. a lot for me. I think it was like 75 up until like last year omg

average hours of sleep: my sleep app says I average around eight! which is very good for me! I do have to get enough sleep consistently or I will Have A Bad Time so my sleep schedule is pretty good and luckily I don’t have the Insomnia depression I have the Sleep Lots one which I am glad for bc idk what I’d do if I couldn’t Be Unconscious regularly. Die probably.

lucky numbers: I don’t think I have lucky numbers?? my favorite number is 21 for no reason other than the vibes alone.

instruments: i’ve played the piano for uhhhh.... eighteen years now? and I can play the ukulele and am surprisingly good with the recorder since I’ve had to play it in Multiple Theatre Performances. I was also an honor choir singer back in high school so I’ve done a lot of select ensemble stuff which was super fun!

what i'm currently wearing: a Life Is Good long-sleeved t-shirt that says “Not All Who Wander Are Lost” that I got in a military surplus store like a million years ago and red Adidas athletic shorts that I found at the thrift store a couple weeks back

dream job: playwright! I just wanna be a playwright! playwriting is like drugs i literally go nuts for it

dream trip: I don’t know??? I don’t really like traveling tbh aslidhalkfdj umm I do want to see the grand canyon sometime before I die tho so maybe a road trip down there? I definitely like traveling solo so I’d probably just hang out with myself and drive and go to whatever places I want and see dumb tourist attractions and sing loudly in the car

fave food: CURRY i know i said eggs the last time it asked me this but I miss my local Indian restaurant I want to eat literal Platefuls of tikka masala at 12pm at the Indian buffet after my physics class again :(

top three fictional universe you'd like to live in: hmmm i don’t know, actually! probably one where I have Powers and could do Cool Hand Motions and make Lights Appear. If I were anywhere with like. An Actual World-Dooming problem tho I would not be helpful at all. I would just die. Besides, I already live in fictional universes half the time, I’m a writer!

Part II

last song: Basquiat by Pentagon! The music video is like. Very whumpy. So if you’re into that... the song’s also a bop

last stream: i don't watch streams very often, I just watch clips from them, cause those usually just give the best parts lol

currently reading: mmmmmbbbaaaaahhhhh literally nothing? I’m trying to get caught up on the backlog of dmbj fic I haven’t gotten around to so Binding by @vishcount is next on that list! oh I guess I’m also reading Johnny Tremain with my kids (one of them SPOILED THE END and I forgot how it ended and now I’m big sad).

currently watching: Mystic Niiiiinnnneeeeee! love those gay history bitches. everyone in that show is so funny. I just finished the Fuba Side Plot tho and now we’re back to Politics so i’m like >:( someone give zhang baby rishan a hug (and then i write angst about him what is wrong with me)

what is antipoetry to you: antipoetry??? what the heck is antipoetry hold on... uhhhh that’s just poetry. who came up with this term. i guess like lyrical fiction would be the technical correct definition but idk I consider anything to be poetry! like that’s the whole point! poetry is poetry is poetry as long as it’s focused on intensity and emotions it’s poetry! a haiku? poetry. the random one-lined mess of words on my phone? poetry. a literal drawing of a cardinal with the word “bird” written next to it? poetry. idk I’ve been trying to teach my kids that there are no wrong ways to write creatively; if you’re expressing yourself and making emotions, then you’re writing! also like half of my work could be considered antipoetry lmao. I love emotionally supercharging the mundane.

currently craving: i have noooo ideaaaasssss i’m literally just vibing. uh. water? ok i took care of that one my water bottle was right next to me.

AH IF YOU READ THIS MUCH THANK YOU???? i love u

uhhhh no pressure tags for @xia-xueyi, @nope4ever, @bookjoyworm, @elletromil, and @gaiahenshin, as well as anyone else who would like to give the full-rundown on themselves! :D

#ask tag #about me #Brigid's Fox #asldighalsdkfj i thought cross' tag was very funny so i've decided that's my foxofninetales tag from now on #because i love her

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fictionalrambles · 4 years

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Shadowhunters Fandom Story - Part Twelve

Submitted by notquiteascrazy

Five Favourite Stories

The Stars Aligned series by @lecrit

WHY I LOVE THIS FIC: The only thing I knew for certain coming into this “picking faves process” was that there had to be something by Lecrit on this list. The way Lu writes Magnus & Alec enraptures me every single damn time and to narrow it down to just one was so hard. So I cheated & picked a series ;) It was one of the first Malec fics I read and just the whole AU is perfect.

I re-read it when Oscar Nominations are announced and on the day of the ceremony (I don’t even care about the Oscars). And probably 5 or 6 times throughout the year on top of that. The mutual pining is so strong to begin with, there’s some very light angst with some classic “bad guy” action by Camille and when they finally get their shit together, well, it’s just beautiful. Jace being an idiot, Izzy being the most supportive ever, nerd Simon… It’s got the works. If you haven’t already read it, why the hell not? Go. Now.

FAVORITE QUOTE: “I know we usually don’t thank our agents in these things,” he says, still scanning the room, “but my agent is also my PA and one of my best friends, and I just won an Oscar so I think I can do whatever I want tonight and he won’t hold it against me.” The audience laughs, as much in amusement as it is in surprise but Magnus doesn’t really notice, finally giving up. “Okay,” he exclaims in the mic, “I can’t find him. Has anyone seen Alec? Tall, dark, handsome and probably glued to his phone right now?” [Trying to cut this entire speech down into the best bit? Impossible but I decided to go with the start]

2C by Oumy

WHY I LOVE THIS FIC: I love the antagonism between Alec & Magnus to begin with and while the source of this is revealed in an additional fic later on, while reading 2C you can entirely predict what started it all. And within the main work itself, it doesn’t need saying because the way the characters are written subtly folds in all these personality traits that we know & love. Even before they finally get it together, they’re pushing each other & challenging each other to be the best versions of themselves. The way it builds from rivalry to romance is just *chefs kiss*

Plus, the mental image of Alec & Magnus as incredibly skilled musicians is Hot. We’ll ignore the slight “Magnus can’t play the charango and it’s awful every time he tries going near an instrument” thing… In this universe, they’re musical maestros!

FAVORITE QUOTE: Alec moved from the door, his long legs already eating up the distance to the entrance, and the competitive side of Magnus, the one that reluctantly thrived on their rivalry, refused to let him have the last word, so he blurted out at the retreating figure “Bite me, Lightwood” Alec turned around, walking backwards and spread his free hand, that perpetual half smile still etched on his face “Only if you ask nicely”

Between the Lines by @msalexiscriss

WHY I LOVE THIS FIC: The plot is fantastic. The entire concept that Magnus is a criminal didn’t necessarily sit well with me at first but then as the story progresses and you realise why, it all starts to come together. And so much of their characteristics & traits are woven into it in a really fun way, e.g. Magnus’ love of glitter. From the very beginning the chemistry between them is so well written considering they’ve barely interacted in person. The way Magnus taunts Alec, the way they play this cat & mouse game. About halfway through I had this sudden fear that I would not enjoy the ending. I just couldn’t see a satisfying conclusion where no-one’s morals were compromised and they still got their happy ending but it really came together and did all the characters justice!

FAVORITE SCENE: The entire “first date” on the rooftop. The way Alec ends up there, the way Magnus has it all planned out. The conversation & the teasing from Magnus. The prying for information from Alec. The way they both dance around each other while enjoying the company & getting to know one another.

Deeper Than the Truth by insieme

WHY I LOVE THIS FIC: Can you really compile a list of favourite fics without including at least one coffee shop AU?! And this one is so much more than just a coffee shop AU. I love how Magnus’ unbridled passion & enthusiasm jumpstarts Alec. I love the slow burn that builds up between them & how their relationship develops. I love the quiet moments of their relationship that are interwoven with the bigger moments. I love the balance between Alec hating the lies he’s telling and knowing that he could hurt Magnus and the inner turmoil he goes through. I love that the reveal is realistically handled and not just swept under a rug but they actually talk about the communication issues. I just love it all.

FAVORITE QUOTE: “Well Alexander, I would love to continue this conversation at the present except I have a whole room of ladies with sharp sewing needles who are not going to be too pleased with me if I keep them waiting any longer. Perhaps if you’re here tomorrow, around the same time, we could bump into each other again, and you could tell me your ridiculous dislike for Mr. Archer over a cup of coffee?” Magnus looked at Alec confidently, like he had no reservations whatsoever that Alec wouldn’t accept his offer. He was right. “Tomorrow. Yeah, okay. I’ll be here.” Alec said, unable to stop the smile that crept onto his face. Magnus was already on his way out the store when Alec realized what Magnus had said. He called out after him, “My name is Alec!” Magnus just waved over his shoulder, calling out “See you tomorrow, Alexander!” He was so screwed. [What I have learnt about myself going through this exercise is the early moment of relationships in fics are my favourites. They set the tone of what’s to come & build the chemistry from there!]

Choose your weapon by @steakandvodka

WHY I LOVE THIS FIC: Clalec BROTP ftw. Honestly, this is just cute and shows such lovely character growth & their relationship develops so beautifully. Alec is shown as supportive & a good leader and very typically Alec in response to Clary. But it also shows a softer side & how him & Fray become friends.

Meanwhile, we see a struggle from Clary that isn’t shown in the show about how not being brought up in the shadow world means working harder to get up to scratch & her insecurities around it.

FAVORITE QUOTE: “Look, I know better than anyone how much pressure it can be to be perfect all the time. Especially when you have people doubting you — the drive to prove them wrong can overshadow every other responsibility in your life. But hard work isn’t always a good thing, not if you don’t go about it in a healthy way. It can set you back, and more importantly, you can get hurt” [Alec Lightwood finally embracing healthy work-life balance <3]

Author Story

At first I felt a little bit like a fraud trying to write this. I’d hardly consider myself an author - I’ve barely really written anything (politely ignoring my terrible contributions to the HP fandom well over a decade ago)

I’d never really considered myself particularly creative, much happier to just absorb the fruits of other people’s creativity and be glad that there are so many talented people in the world writing stories and making art. Shadowhunters changed that for me. The characters have resonated with me and I found myself inspired on a couple of occasions to actually put pen to paper (Well, fingers to keyboard)

I still consider myself very creatively challenged but I’m enjoying exploring the little bursts of inspiration, even if I find myself wishing I’d paid more attention in English class! Reading has always been my escape from reality, writing is now giving me that opportunity to create my own escapes. So if there’s anyone else who’s new to this and nervous about trying to write/sharing their writing, I feel you! But if you have a story you want to tell - go for it! You might surprise yourself :)

#shadowhunters #shadowhunters fanfiction #fanfiction #fanfiction blog

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eldritchsurveys · 4 years

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680.

Do you or have you ever owned a cup with your name on it? >> Actually, I have two. One time there was this dude in Meijer who was doing a promotion for Guinness, and the promo was apparently... giving out custom-engraved pint glasses???? You told him your name and he had this machine that put it on the glass for you. It was weird, especially since it was free... The font that your name is in is a bit wack, though. The other thing I have is a wine glass painted with a nighttime-y scene with skeletal trees and ravens on it. It has my name painted on the stand part, along with the date of my wedding. Sparrow has one too, with her name on it. I’m not even sure where they came from, tbh, but they’re pretty.

What’s the most expensive crafts tool that you own? >> I don’t think I own any expensive crafts tools. The only things I have are, like, pencils, a sketchbook, knitting needles, and yarn.

Have you ever woven baskets of any kind (wicker, paper, cardboard etc.)? >> Maybe as a child.

How do you like Great Balls of Fire by Jerry Lee Lewis? >> It’s all right.

Speaking of Jerry Lee Lewis, have you seen the biopic about him? >> I don’t think so.

How about the biopic about Tina Turner? >> Yeah, I saw that one.

Do you like the TV-show Frasier? >> I do, it’s actually funnier to me now than when I was younger. Back then I thought it was boring but it kills me now.

What’s something you know by heart? >> A lot of song lyrics? Also, the Litany Against Fear.

What is something you’re greedy about? >> I don’t think I’m particularly greedy about anything.

How valuable does a coin have to be for you to bother to pick it up? >> I’d pick up a quarter, maybe. I’m just no longer in the financial position where picking up coins substantially enhances my available funds.

What would be something you would wait in line to get for free? >> It depends on how long the line is, what kind of mood I’m in, and where I am... not just on what the item is. If I’m in a good mood and the line seems manageable, I’d wait in it even if the item is just some random trinket that I have no real use for. If I’m not in a good mood and the line is insane, I wouldn’t wait in it even if it was for an expensive thing I’ve been wanting for ages.

Has there ever been a leak anywhere in your house? >> No.

Have you ever slipped in the shower? >> Not to the point of falling.

Have you ever made any decorative crafts? If so, are they displayed? >> Not in recent memory.

Is it very humid where you are right now? >> Nah.

What is the most suggestive thing someone has said to you? >> *shrug*

Do you have friends who you playfully flirt with? >> No.

Doesn’t the Z in the Bzoink logo look like an L to you, too? >> I mean, not really, but I see where you’re coming from.

Did you ever take that 5000 question survey that was circulating Tumblr? >> Yeah, I took it a long time ago. Once the novelty wore off, I realised that most of the questions were just terrible IMO, which is bound to happen once you endeavour to write a survey with quite that many questions.

Have you ever had to change a zipper in your favourite article of clothing? >> No.

Do you prefer buttons or zippers in general? >> Zippers.

Did you grandma have a box full of pretty buttons? >> ---

What’s the most exotic spice in your spice rack? >> Hmm... garam masala, maybe? We have a wide variety.

Do buttons tempt you to press them? >> Not usually, but sometimes.

Do you have a favourite television host? >> No.

What’s your opinion on celebrity chefs? >> I think some of them are cool and fun to watch. Alton Brown is probably my fave.

Back when it first started, did you watch ANTM? >> I think I’ve seen a season or two. I knew someone who got on it, too (Isis King).

Did you know, that there was even a Finnish version of ANTM? Miss Jay made an appearance in the first season, too. >> No, I didn’t know that, but it makes sense. There are a bunch of those shows modeled after American Idol, too, for different countries.

Are you accident prone? >> No.

Have you ever broken something really valuable? >> I accidentally broke a laptop screen once, and that was pretty damn valuable to me.

What do you see as timeless? >> ---

What is something that you own, that has sentimental value? >> Most of these plushies.

Have you ever had your own website? >> Yeah, I’ve taken stabs at it.

What’s your favourite board game? >> ---

How about your favourite card game? >> ---

What’s something that you finished recently? >> I finished watching Sparrow play through Death Stranding, lol. I’m glad it was her and not me, because I’m pretty sure that game would have made me ragequit within the first few hours, and that would have been a shame.

What’s the smallest town you recall visiting? >> I have no idea.

What’s the longest distance you’ve had to go to work or school? >> ---

Would you learn a new language, if you didn’t share one with your lover? >> Oh, like in Love Actually? I mean, I can’t imagine myself in that situation, but I thought it was cute.

Do you have friends who are constantly tagging you in challenges on FB? >> No. People who have me on facebook should know I prefer to do my actual fun socialising on here or Discord.

When it comes to chocolate, do you prefer nougat, jelly or caramel filling? >> ---

Are you more concerned about winning than just participating? >> No.

Has somebody you know taken their own life? >> No.

What is a number that has some significance to you? Why is that? >> 9. Well, there’s a lot of synchronicity.

Do you prefer onions, leeks or chives? >> I don’t think I have a preference, I’ll take all three. Onions may be the most versatile, though, so maybe those.

What’s the most adult thing you have to do every day? >> I don’t think I have to do any adult thing every day. Maybe feeding myself is an adult thing? Although teenagers and even kids do that too.

What’s the most immature thing you like to do every day? >> ---

Have you seen the movie, Clue? If so, isn’t it fab? >> No, but I’ve seen some funny gifsets that make me think it’d probably be a good time. I might give it a shot if I run into it on a streaming service one day.

Do your cheeks get flushed easily? Do you blush easily in general? >> No, I’ve never felt that feeling.

Are there any social cues you miss entirely? >> Oh, definitely.

When someone doesn’t smile back at you, what’s your first thought? >> They probably didn’t want to, and that’s okay. I don’t always want to smile at everyone who smiles at me, either, and it shouldn’t be a mark against my character just because I don’t smile at a stranger. But, you know, whatever. Any stranger that takes that much offense at me not smiling at them probably wouldn’t get along with me for very long anyway, so it’s a useful social litmus test in the end.

Is there a person who melts your heart just by looking at you? >> No. Well, maybe Can Calah sometimes.

Have you ever had tom kha kai? It’s a Thai coconut soup, and it’s amazing. We serve it at work. >> No, but I’d definitely try it.

Have you, or anyone you know ever been rude to a server? >> I’ve never had the experience of having to watch someone I’m with be rude to a server and I am so glad for that.

What’s something you’re opinionated and very vocal about? When’s the last time you had to verbally defend your stance? >> I don’t know. I don’t really defend any stance of mine, I just put it out there sometimes if I feel like rambling about it and then leave it alone. Arguing with people about shit that ultimately really don’t matter is a waste of my valuable energy.

Have you ever played BitLife? I sort of got hooked on it, it’s like sims but in text form. >> No. I quite like the graphical form of The Sims, so I’ll stick to that.

What’s something you regularly order online? >> CBD.

When’s the last time you made a penpal? >> I’ve never had one.

Do you often make friends online? >> I make a lot of acquaintances online. Friends are far fewer.

Do people ever try to get something from somebody through you? As in, they ask you to ask the person they should be asking in the first place. If that makes sense. >> No. Which is good, because I wouldn’t do it.

What do you think when you see a couple holding hands? >> Nothing???

Is there anything you’re forced to share with someone else? >> No.

What’s something stripy that you own? >> I have a black-and-royal-blue striped robe with the Ravenclaw logo on the back.

How about something polka dotted? >> Nothing.

What is something you find absolutely appalling? >> Some people’s utterly disrespectful behaviour on this website.

Do you like elevators? >> I mean, they’re fine. I don’t dislike them.

What’s the first thing that comes to mind when I say “midnight madness”? >> Like... premieres? Or book releases? Or something like that. I have a vague association but I can’t remember exactly where it comes from.

What is a country you would never want to visit? >> ---

When you’re angry, does it ever get physical? >> Well, yeah, but not necessarily towards someone else.

What do you do, when you’re immensely happy? >> It depends on how I feel like expressing it at the time? Sometimes I don’t express it much at all, and sometimes I literally jump around the room.

What made you scream out loud the last time you screamed? >> ---

Can you hear your neighbours through the wall? >> Sometimes.

What is something that frustrates you to no end? >> Noise.

Do you wear shoes indoors? >> Absolutely not.

Who is your favourite stand-up comedian? >> Bo Burnham, Dylan Moran, and in general I’m fond of how Tiffany Haddish presents as a person and performer.

What’s the weirdest video youtube has suggested to you? >> It doesn’t usually suggest me anything weird.

What’s the funniest infomercial you’ve seen? >> ---

Is there a drink that just goes right through you? >> I don’t feel that way about any drink, no.

Is there a food item you can’t eat because it doesn’t agree with you? >> Not that I’ve encountered.

Do you playfully compete with someone about something? >> No.

Would you rather swim or run? >> I can’t swim, so my options are a little limited here.

Do you like the smell of tar? >> Sometimes, yeah.

Have you ever been to a sauna? >> No. I couldn’t last two minutes in a sauna.

Does your doorbell ring unexpectedly often? >> Not often, but sometimes people will ring multiple apartments trying to get into the building, which is fucking irritating.

Is your favourite fictional character a human, an animal or something else? >> I am my favourite fictional character. /facetious

Have you ever helped a stranger? If so, what did you do? >> I mean, sure. Just simple stuff, like picking up something they’ve dropped or letting them know they’ve left their key in the apartment door or dropping their mail off when it gets mistakenly put into my box.

Do you share hobbies with any of your friends? What do you do together? >> ---

Do you have any flags on display? If so, what flag(s)? >> I don’t. Sparrow has a rainbow flag with a peace sign in the middle on her wall.

#surveys #survey #random survey

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darkdevasofdestruction · 5 years

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The Blood Moon

Summary : With great powers comes great responsibility, so why bother with them, when you can just chill back and relax? That’s what Katrina always told herself in a way to calm down whenever she felt herself lose control, but nothing will stop her from getting in trouble with literally everyone around. Her world was chaotic, like the last seconds of a fly trapped in a spider’s web, but what happens when the world literally goes Upside Down for her, has to take care of a group of nerds much bigger than herself and even worst, she feels her heart beat for the first time, but now, not because of anxiety, but due to a much warmer feeling.

Pairing : Billy Hargrove x OC (Katrina Black)

TW : Stranger Things, as a TV show, explores a lot of themes, including childhood trauma of various types, which I am going to go along with.

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This story contains and explores a variety of trauma and darker themes, most of them relating in canon to a certain character, others that I’m more familiar with then I wish I were and so on.

I have this story written on AO3 that I wrote in like 3-4 days because GODS I am in L O V E with Billy Hargrove and someone please save me, all my feelings are in here, from sorrow to glee, from fluff to angst and so on.

But I’ve never been prouder of a story I’ve written like I am with this one.

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Chapter 1: The Fox and the Lion

I had no idea how the hell I managed to get wound up in a group of 12 year olds’ troubles, but I can’t deny that it wasn’t fun, if not, just crazy dangerous and deadly. I met up Mike and his little group of nerdy friends whilst going to the arcade one day and them cursing my nickname for not being able to defeat my high-score in any game. Of course, since all arcade games only had a 3 letter maximum for each name, I put mine.

“FOX”

Because I have red hair and can be pretty sly and sneaky, despite how very introverted I am. Now it’s my last year at Hawkins High School, this one being the most important because if everything goes right, I may get a scholarship and be able to continue my studies further, to University, pursuing Vet Medicine, like I’ve always dreamt of.

Now, to tell a little bit about myself…

Officially, I was called “3”, just like the number tattooed on my shoulder, which is to brand me as one of the many experiments the Russians/Americans did on children. Somehow, and very thankfully, I managed to run away, thanks to my weird powers that I’m still not 100% sure, and found myself in the woods, where I stumbled upon this policeman named Hopper who was nice enough to take me in for a while, before getting me to an orphanage and making sure a real family gets to take care of me.

The date of me meeting Jim was January 3rd, a very cold and snowy winter, so from that day on, that has become my birthday. Since I didn’t have a name, he let me stay a few good weeks with him and taught me how to read and write, which was pretty easy, to say the least, and upon reading so many books, I found a name that finally suited my tastes.

“Katrina”

That was 5 years ago, when I was 13, and now I’m at my own little house close to the Byers, I recently found out, living alone with Jim visiting me often, or having the kids have sleepovers at mine from time to time, when I’m not too busy with my studies.

After the incident with the monsters, Will’s disappearance, El and everything, we’ve really bonded, and gotta say, being a Rogue in their DnD party was super fun!

Life hasn’t been easy, that much is sure, isn’t it? Many bad things happened that cannot be changed or unmade, so you have to life with them through the rest of your life.

But things never stay the same, do they…?

Life at highschool ain’t the best, especially not with all these mean girls and boys around, but how I survived 3 years, I can survive one more, right? Also, recently, Will and the gang told us about a new girl coming from California called “Max” who apparently beat all their records as well and from their description, I really wanna meet her. Now, I’m wondering if this is a coincidence or not, but my Sherlockian instincts were tingling, and she may or may not be our new colleague’s little sister. Oh, yes, new colleague… His name is Billy Hargrove and he’s the most intimidating man I’ve ever seen in my life. He is literally radiating masculinity and his eyes make everyone either kneel at his feet or stay away from him, because he won’t take anyone’s shit. In a very short amount of time, he managed to gain the reputation of “Keg King”…I think that was? Beating Steve Harrington at popularity, now being the literal best student at sports (especially basketball), having the most number of uh…Charmed ladies, as a count, and beat up a ton of boys who dared disrespect him. So, uh...FUN!

I could have said that I’ve been pretty lucky so far, seeing that I didn’t have the need to directly interact with Billy so far, but fate was never as you’d expect and the weirdest of changes always happen when you least expect them.

Wednesday morning -

I wake up, eat a bowl of milk and cereal, go to wash my fave, brush my long red hair and look through my clothes.

I choose an over-sized AC/DC Tshirt, light blue boyfriend jeans, a red plaid shirt tied to my waist, round shades, a black hat and black combat boots, take my bag and go to my motorbike that I recently managed to buy and went to high school. Maths went pretty fast by, Chemistry too, but during Biology, we had to make a project for the final grade, which will affect the overall grade by a huge percent, which completely got my attention.

But that wasn’t all.

Mrs. Green insisted on assigning us partners…And I was to do the project with none other than Billy Hargrove, which made me gulp in anxiety and start to slightly scratch at my neck, not daring to look at him…Or anyone, for the matter.

Mrs. Green: Kat, Billy, may I talk to you at the end of the class for a moment? Billy: Sure. Me: Okay…

After this, the class went on as if nothing happened, but I could basically feel the burning and poisonous glares the many girls in my class would throw at me. After all, who wouldn’t want to be partnered up with THE King Billy?

Ha.

Me.

What a fool.

All I did the whole class was to draw on my notebook, habit which I found out managed to calm down my anxieties pretty well, even if I didn’t really pay attention to the teacher…But hey, for someone like me, it’s no big deal. After all the other students left the classroom, I grabbed slowly got up and went in front of Mrs. Green, not managing to look in her eyes, my gaze fixed on the floor as I bit my lip and fiddling with my fingers. Billy, as well, stood just next to me, but he looked extremely laid back.

Mrs.Green: Billy, I am sure you are aware that, despite your pretty good grades, slightly above average, in most subjects, you are somehow failing Biology. So, I wanted to ask you, is it just disinterest, or are you not understanding something? I thought that, compared to Mathematics, Chemistry and Physics, this would be at least a bit easier. Billy: Well, uh…I dunno, I guess I don’t really get it or something. I guess I started with the wrong foot and continued even worse and…Yeah, you get it. Mrs.Green: Kat, dear, I am very sorry to ask this of you, since I know you’re extremely shy, but would it be okay with you if you were to help Billy with Biology? You told me you want to pursue Medicine at University, and so far you’ve been exceeding all expectations at my subject, which is why I paired you two up. Just a bit of tutoring, once in a while, if you both agree. Billy: If it helps with my grades, I don’t see why not. Mrs.Green: Excellent! What do you say, dear? Me: Uh, w-well, I…Uhm…I-I mean, s-sure, but…But a-are you sure I’m the right person for this? I-I mean, as you said, I’m painfully shy…A-And I’m afraid I might be more annoying than useful and I don’t want to waste anyone’s time and- Mrs.Green: Dear, Kat, calm down. I’ve seen you help and explain to some of your colleagues before at different subjects and you did an extraordinary job at it! I think you shouldn’t be afraid. Who knows, maybe Billy will be able to help you out with your shyness, since he’s so popular and sociable. Me: *hiding my face* I-I-I w-well, I don’t know what to say… Billy: You can start by saying ‘Yes’ ? Me: Uhm…I guess you’re right. S-Sure, I will tutor you, I am fine with that. J-Just tell me when you don’t understand or if I’m being annoying, I’ll try to stop. Billy: *chuckles* Don’t worry, toots, I’m sure we’ll get along just fine. Mrs.Green: *winks* Think of it as opportunity. It will look very good on your recommendation letter. Me: Y-You mean, you will…? Mrs.Green: *smiles* But of course, dear! How could I possibly not recommend my top student to the best University? It was supposed to be a surprise from me and your Physics and Chemistry teachers, but oops! Busted~. Me: I-I-I can’t thank you enough!! Really, thank you so much for everything you’ve done for me! I am forever grateful for you and your patience and kindness with me! Mrs.Green: *pats my head* Dear, your only fault is worrying too much and enjoying life too little. Take the advice of the bands you listen to so much and you might learn to live a bit. Now, off you go, your next class is about to start! Me: See you tomorrow, Mrs.Green! And thank you so much for everything again! Billy: Good bye, Mrs. G.

Outside of the classroom, I gripped my notebook close to my chest and walk to my locker, but Billy was still following me with a smirk on his face, and then leaned on the locker nearby.

Billy: So, I just got a very hot teacher as a reward for failing the class, the more you know. Me: I…I think it’s more of a punishment. Billy: Why’d you think that, Kitten? Me: Wh-Why did you j-just call me “Kitten” ? Billy: Mrs.G called you “Kat”, so, why not? Me: My name is Katrina, not Kitten, so please call me that. Billy: Fine, fine…Kitten. *winks* Me: *pouts* Guess I can’t convince you… Billy: You give up pretty easily, babe. It’s almost like you like that. Me: *cringes* I-It’s nothing of the sort. I-It’s just…Over the years…I learn that if saying “No” doesn’t work the first time…It won’t work no matter how many times you repeat or struggle…So might as well just get it over with. Billy: *raises an eyebrow* That sounded oddly specific. Me: *eyes widen* Ah, n-no, forget I just said that! S-Sorry, I, uh…I gotta go to Physics, excuse me. Billy: What a coincidence, I have Physics too. Why don’t we talk about the project and my tutoring on the way there? Me: Uhm…If you’re okay with it, I guess okay. Billy: Have any specific topic you wanna do? I kinda have no idea what we’ve studied so far. Care to enlighten me? Me: Well…We started with the Nervous system, followed by the Sensory organs, then Glands, the Locomotor system, Digestive system, Excretory system, Metabolism, some pretty basic Genetics, some plain Environmental things…And…Uhm…Well… Billy: *smirks* You missed out the Reproduction thingy between Excretory and Metabolism on purpose, didn’t you? Me: *gasps* Liar! You said you didn’t know! You tricked me! Billy: *chuckles* I might have. Say, toots, it’s almost like you missed it on purpose. Are you embarrassed? Hey, what about we do the project on tha- Me: NO!!!! Billy: *wide eyed* Whoa, slow down, there, I was only teasin’. Me: *slaps hand on mouth* I’m sorry! I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to shout at you! Please, don’t be mad. It’s just…I really don’t like it and it makes me feel very…Very bad. Billy: *shrugs* S'okay, I got it, don’t worry, I’m not mad. Jeez, Mrs.G was right, you really do worry too much. Me: Yeah…I’m really sorry, I told you it’d be more of a punishment than anything. I know I can be very annoying without even realising. Billy: Chill, babe, chill. So, when and where shall we meet? Me: Uhm…Tomorrow after class for the project? Billy: I have Basketball training, sorry. Me: Oh, right, you’re in the team. When’s your next match? Billy: In 2 weeks. Wanna come and cheer me? Me: *smiles* If you want me there, sure, I will be there. Billy: Huh, would ya look at that, Kitten has a pretty smile. Ya wanna make me swoon? Me: Ah, n-no, really, I’m not. Billy: You’re melting my heart, babe! Me: S-Sorry! Uhm…How about this Friday? About 5pm? At…Uhm…There’s this pretty cafe in town called “Ma Cherie” and they have amazing tea and sweets. Billy: Friday…Friday…Ah, yeah, sure. Had a date, but- Me: Oh, shoot! Okay, we can find another day so you won’t have to miss it! Billy: *chuckles* Nahh, don’t worry, I’ll just cancel. I’d much rather stay with you than with her. Me: *bites lip* Uhmm…I…Flattered? I think? Billy: Good then, it’s a date, see you then, sweet cheeks! Me: WAIT WHAT?!

I stopped in my tracks but he only laughed and waved at me, jogging ahead in another direction. It was only then that I realised that I was in front of the Physics classroom and he, in fact, had a complete other subject, not Physics.

Smooth bastard…

And so, Wednesday came to an end, Thursday as well, Friday went by unnoticed and then, I had to go full speed to the Animal shelter nearby to help out. They never told me how much to stay, seeing that my schedule was hectic due to College and Uni preps, so I would just come and go whenever I could. Problem is, I lost track of time and when I looked back at the watch again, it said 4:46pm.

F U C K.

I bid the workers farewell and ran to my motorbike, going as far as I could back to Hawkings and at the cafe, getting all the two bags full of books and running into the cafe, and looking at my watch at the same time.

5:13pm.

Kill me please.

Entering the cafe, I nod at the waitress, as I’m a regular here and we’re on friendly terms, and scan for Billy, who was writing something in a notebook. I rush to take the seat opposite, but before I sat down and let the books fall to the ground, I start apologising to Billy a bit too much.

Me: I’M SO SORRY!! I-I really didn’t mean to be late, but it’s entirely my fault and I feel horrible for making you wait for me! Please don’t be mad, I-I’ll make up to you! I’ll pay each time we go out to study, okay? S-So take anything you want a-and I’ll pay! I know it won’t really make a difference bu- Billy: Babe, sit down and breathe. Me: H-Huh? Billy: I’m not mad. I can clearly see you rushed to get here. Lost track or time, huh? What were you doing? Me: Yeah, I know, I’m stupid. I got a watch today so I can make sure I leave at the right time, but I forgot to check it and…I am late. So, uhm…Y'know how I mentioned I want to pursue Vet Medicine at Uni? I work at an animal shelter nearby and it takes sort of…Almost an hour to get here. Well, more like 40 minutes, but I rushed and got here in like 25. It kinda helps to get in at a top Uni…With a scholarship. I couldn’t afford to study at University otherwise, so I gotta do what it takes. Billy: Well, babe, you look pretty hot in you lab coat. I wanna see you like this more often. Me: M-My lab coat…? AH, DAMN, I FORGOT TO TAKE IT OFF! Godamn it! Billy: *chuckles* You’re pretty amusing, doll. Come on, sit down and let’s order. Me: Okay. Leila, dear, could you please come and take our order? Leila: Hey, Kat, rushed again from the shelter I see. Regular? Me: For me, yes. Billy, what would you want? Billy: Just a black coffee, thanks. Me: Are you sure? Billy: Yeah, sure. Me: O-Okay… Leila: Okay, then. A Cherry Vanilla tea with extra cinnamon, a chocolate cake and a black coffee coming right up! Me: Thank you for your time, Lei-Lei! Leila: Any time! Billy: Seems you calmed down a bit. Me: Yeah…This place always manages to sooth down my anxieties. Uhm…I literally only come here every time I want to study. Billy: I’m not surprised. It’s pretty nice, I guess. Me: *smiles* I’m happy that you liked it. Billy: Say, forgot to ask you on Wednesday, but today I see you have a Metallica Tshirt. Are they your boyfriend’s? Me: *blushes* B-Boyfriend? But I don’t have a boyfriend, what do you mean? Billy: You don’t? How come? Me: Why are you surprised, who’d want someone like me? Trust me when I say this, I know what I’m talking about. Billy: But you’re smart and pretty, what’s not to like? Me: Many things. So uhm…These are my Tshirts. 90% of my tops have band imprints. And…Well…AC/DC, Iron Maiden and Metallica are my Top 3 favourite bands. I have all their vinyls and cassettes. Billy: You just keep getting hotter and hotter the more I know you. Me: Hahaha, no, no way that could ever happen. Billy: If I were to give you one of my band Tshirts, would you wear it on our next date? Me: D-Date?! C-Come on, Billy, I’m literally the last person you’d want to date, I can assure you. Billy: What if I prove you otherwise? Me: How do you know you’re my type? Billy: *smirks* Oh~? So I’m out of your league, sweet cheeks? Me: Ah-…! Wait, no, I didn’t mean it like that! I didn’t want to insult or offend you, I’m sorry! Billy: Just teasin’, relax. Me: *pouts* Whatevs… Billy: So, wadya say, dollface? About us? Me: D-Don’t you think we should, like, get to know each other first? Become friends and trust each other and all that? Billy: Awww, toots wants one of those cutesy romance novel relationships, how adorable. Me: *blushes* W-Well…Y-Yeah…I guess…I know I’m asking for too much…And there’s no way in hell that could ever happen to me…S-So…I just…I guess…I kinda gave up on even thinking of dating long ago. Billy: *sighs* Maybe your expectations are too high of people that are too low. People suck, y'know? The world sucks. You’re expecting a happily ever after? Me: If I ever get to be in a relationship, I want it to be that kind of shelter that would be protective from all the chaos and evilness in the world. The only place where you can feel safe and be yourself. And if that Happily Ever After, as you call it, won’t happen with another person as my significant other…Then I’ll be very content with saving animals’ lives and travelling the world at my leisure. Billy: *smirks* Have I ever told you you’re pretty hot when you speak like that? Me: Uhm…Okay, so, I was thinking that maybe we could talk about the Nervous system in our project? Leila: Kat, you don’t need to talk about the Nervous system. You literally ARE a Nervous system. Me: … *laughs* Oh jesus, that was a good one. I won’t forget that…Actually, I might even use it as a joke when I do the presentation! Leila: *winks* Don’t forget the author’s right! Me: Okay, okay! As per my lovely barista friend joked, instead of presenting you the Nervous system, I will introduce myself, for I am, in fact, a Nervous system. Leila: Hey, Billy, was it? Please film her or something, I want to see that part. Billy: Consider it done. Me: I call this a conspiracy! Don’t try to overthrow my reign! Leila: Oh, shut up, nerd. Here’s your tea, honey and cake, and here’s your coffee. Good luck with your project! Me: Thanks, dear! Billy: Okay, that looks and smells pretty good. Me: *smiles* Wanna try? I can give you half of everything, if you want? Billy: Y'sure? Me: *nods* Sure! Do you like your tea sweetened? I usually put a lot of honey in it. Billy: Make it as you like and I’ll drink after. Me: Here, you can eat from my plate as much as you want. I usually drink the tea first anyways. Billy: So generous, toots, you’re melting my heart. Me: Ahem. So, the Nervous system? Billy: I have no idea what that’s all about, but just for the sake of the joke, I will say yes. Me: Cool! I kinda thought of specialising in Neurosurgery after Uni. B-But that’s really very far in the future, so it’s pretty irrelevant. Billy: Teach me your magic, babe, and let’s fuck them up big time.

Pretty excited, I got the books from the bag and handed them to him, showing him the tons of notes, scribblings, ideas, details and so on that I’ve gathered so far, and for the next 4 hours, everything we smoothly, but we had to leave because Leila had to close, and we decided to meet again on Monday at lunch time in the courtyard and study while we eat.

I have to admit, the time spent with Billy was…Well…Really nice. It seemed almost like he was a complete other person, not the scary guy who looked like he would snap at anyone if they even as much as blinked around him. Sure, he was a huge flirt, but it didn’t seem too…Ill-willed, to say the least. I just hope it won’t turn into a crush or something. I absolutely canNOT and will NOT allow myself to catch feelings…Not again…Not after everything that has happened. He is right. There is no Happily Ever After, so why bother?

The weekend passed by very fast as I prepared notes for both the project and some tutoring ideas for the Nervous System, since we had to start with the very beginning of Biology, so after the first 3 classes in the morning, I tried to rush outside, but I got pushed into a locker with a boy that I couldn’t recall the name of, but I knew was pretty popular…Like many others. I think his name was Dennis or something, and he wasn’t alone, but surrounded by 3 cheerleaders, Clarisse, Carol and Christine, or the Triple C as they were called.

Boy: Hey, freak, 'sup? Me: Uhm…Hi. Boy: Didn’t you hear me? SPEAK UP! Me: I-I Said hi! Boy: I SAID SPEAK UP!! Me: HI! Boy: Thaaat’s more like it, you ugly sow. Now, what the hell were you doing around King Billy? What you’re tryina get him to like you with that pity party of yours? Your face implores pity and sympathy, but you’re nothing more than a nerd! Me: W-We have to make a p-project together… Carol: Yeah, right, as if! You have the goo-goo eyes for him! Y'know, just 'cause he likes the bands you claim to like, doesn’t mean he likes YOU! I bet you only like that music 'cause HE likes it! Me: N-No…That’s not true…

By now, my eyes were watering, and Dennis pinned my wrists above my head and started screaming very close to my face. I could feel a panic attack beginning to form at an alarmingly fast rate.

Clarisse: Aww, look at her! What, gonna freak out again and cry? Christine: Pshh, yeah, right. What a stupid crybaby. Never got past the stage of a 10 year old? Dennis: You and your stupid red hair, better stop hanging out with Billy, or else you’re gonna get it. Me: B-But I h-have t-to- Carol: *slaps me* Billy. Is. Mine. Slut!

After she slapped me, everyone around started laughing and belittling me again, but I couldn’t get out of there because Dennis was exponentially stronger than me, so I knew there was no use in even bothering. A booming voice, however, echoed in the hallway, making me flinch at the noise. “SILENCE! What the hell is going on here?!” the deep voice rang out, a funeral silence taking over, only my soft whimpers being heard.

Dennis: STOP CRYING, YOU BITCH! Didn’t you hear our King asked for silence?! Me: S-Sorry… Dennis: And open your eyes when he’s here, stop being so disrespectful for someone clearly superior to you! Come on, now, on your knees, like the little bitch that you are!

Dennis laughed as he put his hand on my throat, squeezing a bit before throwing me to the ground, in front of Billy. I could only tremble on the ground, not daring to move. I learnt it the hard way that getting away always made it worse.

Billy is the most popular guy in the High school, making all the ex-popular guys hang out with him to gain popularity. He has always been the talk of the school, the womanizer, the rebel, the cool guy everyone loved and feared. Despite everything, I expected him to side with his friends…Even if a little part of me wished for him not to.

The silence in the halls was far more excruciatingly painful than the mockings and the laughter, but it soon vanished as a voice darker and lower than before started talking. He was clearly pissed off.

Billy: …What the fuck were you doing here…? Dennis: We were teaching this bitch a lesson, of course! Make her remember her rightful place! Clarisse: No, no, if you were doing that, you’d have thrown her in the trash bin, 'cause that’s what she is! Carol: Hey, Christine, look at her! She’s staying there like she wants to suck King Billy’s dick! What a shameless slut, on her knees in front of everyone! Billy: Did I, even once, ask ANY of you to do anything like this…? Dennis: Well, no, but she’s been rubbing her pathetic germs all over you! Following you like some lost puppy just 'cause you’re popular, and even more! Lying to us! Carol: Ha, yeah! She kept saying she’s dating you and that you already fucked! Pshh, whore! Me: I…Never… Carol: Oh, shut up, nobody cares what you’re saying, get a hint! Billy: Are you 4 fucking out of your GOD DAMN MINDS?! Dennis: Uhm…B-Billy, what’s the matter? Billy: WHO THE FUCK TOLD YOU TO DO THAT TO HER?! SHE’S MY PROJECT PARTNER AND MY TUTOR, OF COURSE SHE’S HANGING AROUND WITH ME! You fucking idiots, I’m gonna FUCKING KILL ALL OF YOU! All of you stay around me like whores on the sidewalk wanting to get some cheap money, but you’re all good for nothing! Dennis: Come on, Billy, you’re new here, but she’s a freak, okay? I mean, look at her! There are only bad rumours about her and you should hear what her EXes say about her!

Before Dennis could say another word, he was slammed on the locker behind him and choked. I cringed at the sudden noise, but when I saw the outright rage on Billy’s face as he choked Dennis, he drew back one of his arms, wanting to punch him, but I threw myself on his arm.

Me: Billy…Please don’t… Billy: Get back, dollface. This fuckass needs to be taught some discipline the hard way! Me: Billy…Please, I beg of you. Please let him go. Please. Billy: But look at you, they made you cry! I can’t let them get away with this! Me: Billy…Please, for me, please don’t do it. Please stop. Please. Let’s go work on the project. Please. I beg you with all my heart. Billy: *glaring* What the hell is wrong with everyone in this fucking town?! You’re all a bunch of submissive fucktards with no brains at all!

Billy sneered, throwing Dennis away from him and walking down the corridor. I took 3 deep breaths to calm myself, before I ran to him and hugged him tightly from behind, making him freeze in his tracks, extremely tense.

Me: I-I’m very sorry, Billy. I know I only bring you troubles. Even now, I can feel that you hate me touching you like this, but it was the only way I could think of thanking you. And…And…I really appreciate you saving me…And not fighting in my presence. Billy: I really don’t get you. You just stood there, letting them do whatever the hell they wanted with you! There was no struggle, no fight in you! Nothing!

By this point, I let my arms fall down my sides and he turned around to face me, yet my gaze was still on the floor.

Me: You really think I could have gotten out of there? That I could have managed to throw Dennis off of me? Look at me, Billy. My arms are literal noodles, I can’t even punch. Hell, sometimes I struggle to open the water bottle cap. And if I tried to scream…Who do you think would have helped me? Harrington? Wheeler? The lovely Carol and Tina? Or Tommy? The only person who was okay with me in this high school has been Jonathan Byers, but people hate him too, so I can’t possibly make him get bullied more because of me. What would you have me do? It’s been 3 years already…What’s one more? Billy: …You’re so godamn irritating. Me: I know…I’m sorry. I’m really sorry for causing you so much trouble. I…I will go tell Mrs. Green to assign you a new project partner and I will continue tutoring you, if you wish, where people won’t have to see us in the same room. Billy: Did I ask you to do that? Me: N-No, but- Billy: But nothing. Shut up and let’s go, you’re supposed to be tutoring me today. Me: I-I know, but we said outside, and if people see you with me- Billy: Then let’s skip. I don’t have Basketball practice today, so I don’t really care. Me: I-I…I never skipped before… Billy: *shrugs* There’s always a first time for everything. C'mon, if you get in trouble, you just say I kidnapped you or somethin’, chill out. Me: A-Are you sure about this…? Billy: Yeah, yeah. Hop along, I’ll drive. Me: Where are we going? Billy: My place. My parents won’t be coming home tonight so nobody to disturb us. Me: Uhm…Well… Billy: I won’t do anything to you, fuck’s sake. Me: W-Well…If you’re sure it’s no problem… Billy: Get in the car, then. Me: B-But my motorbike- Billy: You have a motorbike? Me: Y-Yeah…Couldn’t really afford a car. And it’s pretty neat. Billy: Fuck, babe, you’re so hot. Me: Ah, I-I’m really not. Billy: I’ll get ya to your house and pick you up tomorrow then. C'mon, sweet cheeks, lemme show you my love. Me: Okay, okay.

He winked at me before signaling me with his head to follow him to his car, where he patted the hood very proudly and smirked, leaning on the door. He got inside, starting the ignition, which was a cue for me to get inside too, putting on my seat belt and gripping it tightly.

Billy: How d'ya like it? Me: It’s very pretty. What car is it? Billy: '79 Camaro, Chevrolet. Complete chick magnet, ya get me? Me: It is very nice. Billy: Fancy some music! Me: Oh, yes!

Smirking at me, he put “You shook me all night long” by Scorpions at max volume, making me grin at him in glee and start singing the lyrics of the song, and he followed my lead, making both of us scream like idiots above the music. Then, the perfect Mixtape with AC/DC songs started, featuring “Highway to hell”, “Hells bells”, “You shook me all night long”, “Dirty deeds done dirt cheap” and my favourite, “T.N.T.”, but by the end of it, we already got to his house, which made me pout a bit before laughing and getting out of the car.

Me: Thanks for this, Billy! It was super fun! Nobody I know listens to the same kind of music I do, and being able to sing with someone else was sooo cool! Billy: Next time, try screaming my name, 'cause damn that was sexy as hell. Me: *laughs* Don’t be silly. Billy: *winks* I’m not.

He guided me to his room which was filled with band posters over which I started gushing about as he brought some snacks and soda for us to munch on as we study. I took off my boots before I jumped on the bed criss-crossed as I spread my noted for today’s tutoring, repeating some things myself, so I won’t stutter explaining too much, but before I realised it, he already threw the bags of crisps on the bed over my notes, making me yelp in shock.

Billy: You get scared pretty easily. Me: Y-Yeah, I mean, that was pretty unexpected. Uhm…Let’s clean up a bit, you made a mess of my notes. Oh, bring your notebook, you’ll need it. O-Oh, right, I brought coloured crayons, I wasn’t sure you had…And your sister might have needed them. Billy: How did ya know I had a sister? Me: Well, I kinda guessed. Both you and her transferred from Cali on the same day, at the same time. Billy: Why do you know about little brats? Me: *shrugs* I have a few little friends. They don’t mind that I’m a nerd…'Cause they are too. It’s pretty fun, actually! Billy: *raises eyebrow* Right. So, why’d I need crayons? Me: Drawings, of course! To understand Biology better, one must need tons of schemes and drawings. I already have mine and I will give them to you for as long as you need, but I’d appreciate it if you were to draw them by yourself too, since it will really help you understand and memorise better what you’re about the learn. Billy: Right…Okay, fine. Me: So, if it’s okay with you, should we start talking about Cells? Shapes, roles, the organelles inside it and what they do. Then, we should cover the tissues a bit, before starting to talk particularities, mainly, to explain the Neuron, how reflexes work and why, and then cover the nerves and organs. Billy: *blank look* Good luck. Me: Huh? What do you mean? Billy: It’s gonna be tough getting me to understand this shit. Me: I don’t think so. I have faith in you. Mrs.Green said that all your grades are above average, which is really good! If you manage to get a B at Biology as your final mark, then you have a very strong chance at a scholarship! Billy: How d'ya know that? Me: You are the best at sports, Billy. The teacher always praises you, despite all the…Uhmmm…L-Let’s call it problematic behaviour. I’m sorry. And, uhm…Our highschool has 1 Sports Scholarship, and 1 Studies Scholarship. Billy: And clearly, you’re the one to get the Studies one, right? Me: *blushes* Well…Y-Yes, it seems so. Billy: And how are you so sure I’m the one qualified for the Sports one? Me: Well…I…I spend a lot of time around teachers. It’s kind of a safe haven where nobody can bully me, and I get to find out a few things as well. Billy: Holy shit, you’re such a Vixen~! You, little, naughty vixen! Me: *chuckles* I…I’ve been called Fox before. Billy: And rightfully so. Me: Y-Yeah, carrot hair, I know. Billy: Oh, shush, it’s hot. And damn, looks damn good with your green eyes. Me: *clears throat* N-Nobody said that before. Uhm, s-so! As I was saying, because you’re currently the top choice…That’s actually why Mrs.Green wanted you to pair up with me. She saw potential in you and she didn’t want it wasted. Before you, there was Steve Harrington, but since you came… Billy: Oh, babe, trust me, I’m gonna come very soon if you keep praising me like that. Me: *confused* What do you mean? Billy: You…Didn’t get that? Me: *shakes head* Should I have? Billy: Never mind. So, what am I supposed to do? Me: Basically, get that B in Biology, win at least 3 of your upcoming Basketball matches until the end of the year…And I think it’s settled. Billy: I’d kiss you right now. Me: *scratches the back of my neck* You wouldn’t like it. So, uhm…Is this enough of a motivator for you? Billy: It could be…Okay, babe, work the hell outta me. Me: S-So, I was thinking, if it’s okay with you, that I should give you a test after each chapter we finish. Like a revision. I think it would be nice and it would help you not forget some things, and also, see where you didn’t understand well enough and all that stuff. Billy: What’s the passing grade, teacher? Me: *flustered* D-Don’t call me that, please, I would be a terrible teacher. I think…A 75% should suffice Billy: That’s quite a lot, babe. Me: *smiles* You can do it, Billy. Your future self is going to thank you for your struggles and hard work. Billy: How about a motivator? Me: Isn’t the Scholarship enough? Billy: It is…But Y'know, it’s gon’ be hard. Me: I suppose you’re right…Okay, what do you have in mind? Billy: *smirks* Each time I get a passing grade at your tests…Let me kiss you. Me: *eyes wide* Wh-What?! Billy: Aww, come on, babe, it’s just a kiss and it’s gon’ help motivate me to study hard. Don’t cha wanna help me get that scholarship? Me: *blushes furiously* I-I-I…Wh-Why w-would you want that?! Billy: Because you’re adorable as hell and I like you. Me: L-Like you like all girls? Billy: Who said I liked them? They’re all dumb and want the same thing. Can you guess? Me: *shrugs* Dunno. Billy: Come on, babe, think, you’re smart. Me: I guess? Billy: You’re the smartest babe I’ve ever got the pleasure to meet. All fucktards at school want just one thing, 'cause they’re all shallow brain dead suckers. They aaaaaall just wanna fuck. Me: A-And don’t you do the same? Billy: I do. Me: Th-Then why’d you want me to kiss you? To add me to your list or something? Billy: Nahh, I’d be a real shithead if I were to take advantage of you like that. Me: *mutters* Wouldn’t be the first one… Billy: *raises eyebrow* Do you trust me? Me: Don’t take it personal, I don’t really trust anyone. Billy: Huh. Not bad. Let’s make a deal, toots. I’ll do my best to raise up to your expectations and you’ll give me those little rewards. If by the time we finish everything you won’t be satisfied with how I behave, then you can hate me all your life and I won’t bother you again. Me: B-But I don’t wanna hate you. Billy: *gets closer to my face* Even better. So, wadya say, sweetling? Me: Uhmm…Well…I-I don’t know… Billy: Come on, Kitten, what’s the harm? It’s just a kiss. Me: *blushes* Uhm…Uhmmm…F-Fine…If it will help you… Billy: Thanks, babe! Now, how about I see what to expect~? Me: NO!

With each question, he just kept getting closer and closer to my face, while I leaned backwards, until the last where I got so flustered that I didn’t realise I was completely on the edge of the bed… Until I fell off with a high-pitched squeal and a thud, while he just laughed his ass off looking at me, as I pouted and looked at him done with life.

Me: You could’ve caught me, y'know? Billy: Sorry, toots, I was too shocked to realise. But, shoulda seen your face, t'was hilarious! Priceless! Me: Yes, yes, I’m hilarious, ha-ha! Just wait till you see how hilarious the tests are gonna be! And I’ll laugh in your face like you do right now! Billy: Ohhh, mrrrr, babe, you’re on fire! Fine, you’re on, then! But I’ll show ya it’s gon’ be worth it. Me: You better.

Stretching a bit I get back in bed next to him and putting on my best game-face, I grab the first pages of notes, the drawings and schemes and start explaining him in detail every little thing, telling him to repeat what I said from time to time, to make sure he stays focused, and make him explain what he understood so far, in his own words.

Despite everything, he was actually really great company to have and I’m kinda…Actually, really glad that Mrs.Green made me be his partner for this project, and more, tutor him. If only he could tone down his excessive flirting, he’s surprisingly soft and nice. Or well…That’s what I think. I could also be wrong, like I’ve been so many times before, and I wouldn’t be shocked in the least bit.

But…I really hope I’m not wrong.

Chapter 2 Chapter 3 Chapter 4 Chapter 5 Chapter 6 Chapter 7 Chapter 8

@klassickb

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saphyrenights · 5 years

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Pick 5 shows, then answer the following questions, don’t cheat. Tag 10 (or however many) people.

Stargate SG-1

Star Trek: Voyager

Teen Wolf

House, MD

Xena: Warrior Princess

1. Who is your favourite character in 2?

I don’t dislike anyone on Voyager, which is rare for me. I give Neelix a lot of shit, but I do actually like him. A little. :) When I was a kid, Tom Paris was my fave, probably because he was a Gary Stu who never got called out as a Gary Stu, and that appealed to me in middle school oop. As an adult, tho, I love Seven of Nine. She probably has the most character development of anyone on the show. Harry is second, but poor guy never got promoted. Not his fault, but it stunted some of his potential development ;_; So, I’m gonna say Seven of Nine.

2. Who is your least favourite character in 1?

Rodney McKay. I was so glad when they shipped his annoying ass off to Atlantis. I know the writers were presenting his constant misogynistic harassment of Sam as “humorous,” but it really wasn’t. Sam deserved better.

3. What is your favourite episode of 4?

Oh, God. Oh, God. Oh. God. Ummm....this list is way too long. Since it’s been a really long time since I bothered to remember individual House episode names, I can only describe the episode. It’s in the show’s final season when Shit’s Getting Real, and the writers are finally like “lol fuck it” and wrote Wilson sobbing to House, “I need you to tell me that you love me!” Suddenly, all of that subtext from over the years became canon. The little jokes, the winks and nods, they all paid off in the end. I remember being FLOORED that a network show just Did That. I’m just sad that Wilson had to be literally dying before we got it.

4. What is your favourite season of 5?

Again, it’s been a VERY long time since my memory needed to be this sharp for an old show, but I’m going to say all of the seasons EXCEPT for the last one. It was all over the place, and then Xena just fukkin dies. I get that it was a noble sacrifice, but why couldn’t Xena and Gabrielle live happily ever after? Gabby becomes a famous bard, Xena opens a dojo or something, they get married, do a lil farming on the side, boom. Done. Happy ending. But nooooo....

5. Who is your favourite couple in 3?

Season 5 was completely deleted from my memory through a very complicated and delicate brain operation I never told y’all about it. So it’s still Sciles. Feels good, man. :)

6. Who is your favourite couple in 2?

B’Elanna and Tom. But if I could picked a polyship, it’d be B’Elanna/Tom/Harry. 👀

7. What is your favourite episode of 1?

"Abyss” is almost always at the top of my list, but “Orpheus” is damn good, too. I’m picking both of those, and you can’t stop me.

8. What is your favourite episode of 5?

“The Bitter Suite!” It’s a really fun episode. And I remembered the name of it. :)

9. What is your favourite season of 2?

Probably season 4.

10. How long have you watched 1?

I started watching in season 3. SG-1 was still on Showtime, and aired on Friday nights. I usually had football games to attend (I was in marching band), so I’d set up the VCR to tape the show, and I’d watch it when I got home. My first full SG-1 ep was “Legacy.” I caught up with the first two seasons in syndication, and I was all caught up by the time season 5 came around.

11. How did you become interested in 3?

I read some Big Wolf on Campus fanfic that crossed over with Teen Wolf. So I decided to watch Teen Wolf to see what all the fuss was about. I’m not going to go into details, but the fic I read wildly mischaracterized the show. I’m glad I checked it out for myself. I ended up loving Scott McCall so much, in spite of that stupid fic.

12. Who is your favourite actor in 4?

Robert Sean Leonard.

13. Which do you prefer, 1, 2, or 5?

Yeah, I’m gonna echo Divvy here and just say, “Fuck you” to this question lol

14. Which show have you seen more episodes of, 1 or 3 ?

SG1 literally aired over 100 more episodes that Teen Wolf, so um, math.

15. If you could be anyone from 4, who would you be?

A dying patient of the week who watches all these doctors hash out their personal drama over my deathbed while I collect all the tea they’re recklessly spilling, and then I get cured at the last second from a stupid disease I got from eating cat litter or something. Don’t ask why I was eating cat litter. That’s not for House’s team to decide, which is why I didn’t immediately tell anyone I ate cat litter when I was first admitted. All I know is that at least six of those doctors are fucking each other, one is on meth, and another one definitely killed a guy on purpose.

16. Would a crossover between 3 and 4 work?

Teen Wolf and House? Sure. Melissa transfers to New Jersey, Scott eventually follows her since a couple of his pack members are already on the east coast after they all graduate high school and deal with the bounty hunter mess. Scott decides to go to med school (some of his vet school credits might transfer, who knows), and he ends up at Princeton-Plainsboro Teaching Hospital. He only sees House in the halls, because I don’t want Actual Ray of Sunshine Scott McCall coming in direct contact with House. He hangs out with the ducklings, tho. And he does rounds with Wilson, who takes a huge liking to him and his ability to literally make patients feel better just by holding their hand...ohhh, this could be a fun sandbox to play in. I just might...eat...some sand...

17. Pair two characters in 1 who would make an unlikely but strangely okay couple?

Jack and Maybourne. I SAID IT! Oh, and Daniel/Martouf because I shipped it when I was in like 8th grade lmao. Everything else I’m thinking, like Sam/Janet, Daniel/Teal’c, Jack/Daniel, Sam/Martouf...none of those are that unlikely. Aside from the dead people, but y’know.

18. Overall, which show has the better storyline, 3 or 5?

Let’s be honest; the writing on both Teen Wolf and Xena was never anything to get excited over. Huge plot holes, inconsistent characterization, incoherent plots, they all pretty much made up the overall experience of watching these shows. But I didn’t watch for that stuff. I just liked fun stories and nice characters. I don’t care if they didn’t make sense. Xena jumps 10 feet straight up in the air and somersaults through an open window while catching her chakram mid flip? Fantastic! Everyone in Beacon Hills suddenly becomes broke af and are struggling to pay bills because it serves the plot for one season and one season only? Great! Gabrielle gives birth to an evil doppelganger? Okay! Where did Kira go? Huh? WHere DID SHE GODOHDOJDLJD

tl;dr: neither one lmao

19. Which has the better theme music, 2 or 4?

There’s no competing with Jerry Goldsmith. Sorry, Massive Attack.

Cool, cool, cool. I’m going to tag: @anomalagous , @runicscribbles, @kimmykun, @intthewoodsomewhere, @lozenger8, @elfysparkles88, @theboywiththepurplesocks, @tombwolf, @carelesswhisper41, @pissoffghosts

#i'm too lazy to tag this #bye

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makeste · 6 years

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BnHA Chapter 003: Superhero Academy Entrance Exam

Chapter 3 of my not-actually-live liveblog of Boku no Hero Academia! And I have to say, this one is my favorite chapter so far. We’ve got new characters, we’ve got weird video game point challenges, and we’ve got a new crowning moment of awesome for our protagonist! All this, and a guy with the power of jeans. What more could I ask for in life.

Notes: As of posting this I’ve read up through chapter 6 of the manga and watched episodes 1-5 of the anime. My comments (aside from ETAs), however, are from my initial readthrough of the chapter and are unedited. And despite residing here on tumblr where BnHA is a trending tag like every week, I somehow continue to remain almost totally unspoiled (boy that feels like I’m jinxing it).

hey it’s some random speech bubbles just spitting out facts about U.A.! how convenient and helpful

damn, they only accept 1 in 300 people... that’s a 0.33% acceptance rate. I’m pretty sure even Harvard accepts like 5 or 6% of its applicants, so this is... yikes

All Might magnanimously declined the People’ Choice Award lmao

“Best Jeanist.” oh my god. for years I’ve thought Eiichiro Oda was hands-down the best mangaka when it came to creating off-the-wall new characters. but this character’s name is Best Jeanist and he’s wearing a turtleneck denim jacket and has onion hair and I just. I don’t know anymore. my world is shook

what makes it better is the implication that there are other jeanists out there. but he is the best

so much the best that he’s won the best jeanist award eight years running

what is his power?? jeans??

shout out to this other guy Endeavor who I’m completely ignoring because he had the misfortune to be standing next to my homeboy Best Fucking Jeanist

Deku actually went home and took a shower and packed and then got on the subway for a forty-minute ride. holy shit this kid is cool under pressure. probably took a fucking nap on the train too

DID HE EAT THE HAIR??? I ASSUME YES? GODDAMMIT THIS IS BULLSHIT TELL ME WHAT HAPPENED RIGHT NOW

is this the school? I like the trees just chilling out in the entrance lobby there

“there was no time to test out the power All Might had given to me” -- fjkalsjdfj ARE YOU SERIOUS

THEN WHY DIDN’T YOU IDIOTS DO THIS LAST WEEK

YOU COULD HAVE PACKED THE NIGHT BEFORE

THE SHOWER IS FINE, SHOWERS ARE IMPORTANT, BUT YOU COULD HAVE DONE IT FASTER

HE DOESN’T EVEN KNOW IF THE HAIR ACTUALLY DID ANYTHING?? YOU SPENT THE PAST 10 MONTHS BUILDING UP TO THIS? YOU WERE CARRYING THAT BALL FOR TEN FUCKING MONTHS ONLY TO DROP IT THREE FUCKING HOURS BEFORE THE EXAM SFKSHLHK I’M FUCKING LOSING IT

I DON’T CARE IF HE’LL OBVIOUSLY BE FINE, I NEED SOMEONE TO GO AND SMACK HIM PLEASE

-- OH LOOK IT’S MY PROBLEMATIC FAVE

HOLY SAVAGE FUCK THAT “IGNORE + WALK PAST” WAS OFF THE FUCKING CHARTS

“ever since that day, Kaachan never tormented me again”

the answer is yes, right? no? are you sure?? damn

wow they still remember the sludge monster and call it the “sludge incident”

here I was thinking this kind of shit happened on the daily in this crazy superheroes&supervillains society, but I guess some incidents are more memorable than others

also it’s nice that he stopped harassing Green Tsuna, but when my previous (I shouldn’t say “previous”, actually... more like “still current”) favorite Gokudera “GOAT” Hayato had his life saved by his protagonist, he not only stopped tormenting him, but he immediately swore his eternal fealty and dedicated his life to serving him, so that’s a pretty high bar. I will give Baku the benefit of the doubt, though

I’m still obviously on board this ship, as evidenced by the fact that Deku thought “I gotta stop flinching instinctively” and I was like “aww they’ll be lovers any day now”

I don’t understand it either

hey hello I’m cracking up in real life here

wow I thought he was gonna fall and that was hilarious, but instead he’s somehow just... floating there? which is somehow even MORE hilarious

HEY A NEW CHARACTER. [takes notes]

WHY ARE YOU SORRY FOR STOPPING HIM IT WAS A NICE THING TO DO

“[SMILES BROADLY] THIS SURE IS NERVE-WRACKING!” HEY I’M SORRY, BEST JEANIST, BUT YOU CAN FUCK RIGHT OFF, THIS IS MY NEW NEW FAVE

HIGH FIVE, GREEN TSUNA. YOU’RE DOING GREAT

“Everybody say hey” this motherfucker better be saying this in fucking English goddamit. (ETA: he is!! yessssssssss)

nobody said hey

“well that’s cool.” nice recovery! gamfuckingbatte you funky boombox man

YEEEEEEAH

nobody said yeah

my god this is a tough crowd. the practical test could just be warming these stone-cold motherfuckers up and it would 100% explain the abysmally low acceptance rate

I love how Deku talks to himself all the fucking time. I want to watch movies with him. we’ll both talk quietly while trying not to annoy people and probably not succeeding.

they’re sitting next to each other oh my god they were roomaaaaates

no but it’s seriously so cute??

there are probably thousands of people there, they didn’t HAVE to sit with each other. (unless seating arrangements are determined by school)

ETA: which they probably are come to think of it. hahaha)

they can’t take the test together though, aw

look at these fucking Mario silhouettes. did Nintendo sign off on these?

is it allowed because they’re blacked out? how fucking sneaky

(ETA: actually in the anime they didn’t make any Mario references at all, which makes me think there actually was a copyright issue)

these rules seem simple enough. actually seems almost too simple. the amount of different quirks they’re dealing with and the lack of guidelines on how not to use them seems to be asking for trouble. but I guess they probably know what they’re doing by now

I thought this was a high school, why is this 40-year-old man here asking questions about the exam

OH SHIT DEKU HE’S CALLING YOU OUT FROM TWENTY FEET AWAY

we would so get kicked out of movies together

now they’re literally referencing Super Mario Bros by name huh

and calling it an “old retro game”... sob

I actually love the pop culture reference so much and hope that more of these follow. this is how people talk in real life. none of that coming across a zombie and not actually calling them “zombies” because that concept somehow doesn’t exist or any of that bullshit. no sir. “you guys know thwomps from Mario? this thing is like a thwomp from Mario”

here we go. this set-up reminds me of Choice from KHR. please dear god don’t actually be like Choice from KHR

yeah, come to think... how big is this school

there’s a guy whose arm bone is sticking waaaaaay out of his elbow and it’s making me so fucking uncomfortable

please go away

THE GIRL IS HERE

AND THE FORTY-YEAR-OLD MAN IS HERE TOO DAMMIT

all these people who don’t even fucking know Deku are still picking on him for some reason. ugh. just more people to show up, Izu. you got this dude

I’m getting strong Hunger Game vibes here

oh damn they sure did run

thd thd thd thd

relax, Deku, I’m sure there are plenty of monsters to go around. plus most of those guys appear to be morons and I’m sure the smiley girl and the forty-year-old man are the only ones in the group who’ll actually pass somehow

oh fucking FINALLY a flashback to him eating the hair!!

he’ll START to feel SOMETHING in A FEW HOURS?!!!

and there he is running off to take a shower as previously established

I am glad he is confirmed as having good personal hygiene, though

“prepare for some real kickback” noooo I’m getting nervous

when you use One for All, clench up your butt

ssshhf this giant fucking robot literally interrupted his flashback right before we got to the good part??

DEKU. CLENCH YOUR BUTTTT

“why can’t I move?” MAYBE YOU CLENCHED TOO TIGHT. SHIT

some bishounen with a crotch laser just appeared out of nowhere and blasted it!

whew

“merci!” you’re welcome, Tuxedo Mask

wow he’s been standing around for four minutes already?? I take back what I said before, Deku. fucking run

everyone else has killed basically all the enemies. fuck why do I feel like he’s about to face a fucking thwomp. how many points were those again

...lmao zero. well shit

these Ender’s Game test-makers have deemed Yuri on Ice over here a “decision maker”

who am I to argue

BAKUGOUUU

YESSS MY ANGRY SON WHOM I’VE ADOPTED FOR REASONS THAT STILL CONFUSE ME HAS GOT THAT .3% ACCEPTANCE RATE LOCKED UP

OH NO IT’S THE YARUKI SWITCH

WHAT’S A YARUKI SWITCH

now feels like a good time to speculate on just how fucking expensive this fucking test is with the giant robots and the entire fucking city built for the sole purpose of being leveled in ten fucking minutes all for the sake of a test which only 1 out of every 300 people will even fucking pass

somewhere out there I hope there are people whose quirks are just “building lots of things really cheaply and effectively”, otherwise this feels like such a waste

haha now everyone is running again but in the opposite direction this time

and so is Deku. NOW he can move, huh

aaaaaand he’s crying again

something better happen or else he’s screwed

oh fuck me, the girl fell, of COURSE it had to be the girl

(ETA: actually upon reflection I think they redeemed this due to two things: (1) tying it back to her not letting him trip and fall earlier, and (2) the fact that she’s not the first person that Deku has had to heroically rescue, and the person who WAS first was not only a guy, but the angry explosive prodigy character. so I’ll give them a pass here)

(ETA 2: after watching it in the anime, a bunch of debris fucking fell on her, so I take back all of my complaining. good show)

AHHHHH HE’S RUNNING BACK TOWARD THE GIANT MONSTER DOING THE HEROIC “I JUST ACTED WITHOUT THINKING” THING AGAIN AHHH

AHHHHHHHH

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

THIS IS THE COOLEST THING I’VE EVER SEEN

HOLY SHIT WAY TO BRING ME BACK DOWN

-- AH?! NOOO WHY IS IT OVER

I’M GONNA GO READ THE NEXT ONE RIGHT NOW

(ETA: and you better believe I did)

BUT FIRST

BONUS:

”I’m glad he came out so unlikable.” HAHA JOKE’S ON YOU

”his face just screams ‘I’m a rotten thief’” LMAO SOB WHY IS HE MY FAVORITE

GOOD CALL CHANGING HIS PERSONALITY THOUGH BECAUSE THIS VERSION NEEDS TO BE PUNCHED IN THE FUCKING FACE:

I HATE HIM

AND THAT’S IT THAT’S THE CHAPTER????

holy fucking shit.

#bnha #boku no hero academia #makeste reads bnha #midoriya izuku #bakugou katsuki #uraraka ochako #and I forgot the forty-year-old man's name again so I can't tag it unfortunately #you know what let me go look it up #...#tenya iida #heh #he's so old

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skeletonscribbles · 6 years

Text

Wishes - Chapter 12

there was really no getting around including Star Wars Weekend.

Disney folks - I KNOW you can't get specialty drinks at Starring Rolls but I'm too lazy to make them go to a kiosk, okay? also I haven't been to SWW in a minute. they probably have different food now, but all the Disney Food Blog entries I looked at were back from like 2015 so I'm operating under the assumption that the novelty shit doesn't change.

Anyways.

Chapter Title: “Cantina Song” (Stan)

Warnings: unintelligible memeing, “Luke Skywalker is gay” discourse, some discussion of discrimination

meme references: I Have The High Ground Now THIS is Podracing That's....why I'm here.... (Comment your fave prequel meme if you have one - mine’s Obi Wan’s “Hello There” but I couldn’t figure out how to fit it in to the chapter RIP)

READ ON AO3

Tag List: @roobarrtrashmouth @jem-carstairs-is-perfection @tozier-club @aizeninlefox @stanheartsbill @imrichie @softeds @pretzelstoday @melancholypurple @wheezygreens @ayyyymichele @loser-marsh

STANLEY URIS FRONT DESK COORDINATOR, YACHT CLUB RESORT but more immediately DISNEY’S HOLLYWOOD STUDIOS MAY 4TH 11 A.M.

“It’s not that I don’t think Star Wars looks interesting,” Stan explained for what felt like the zillionth time that day. “Aesthetically, I’m all about it. I saw a PBS special one time about how they painted some of the sets - that was really cool.”

“So the reason you haven’t seen any of the films is…”

“Purely meme-related, yes.” Stan sighed and rubbed at his eyes. “I don’t understand what’s so hard to grasp about that.”

“Everything, Stan!” Mike all but shouted (though there was a tell-tale wobbliness to his voice that suggested he was on the verge of laughter). “Everything!”

Star Wars Weekend was one of the more baffling annual events on property for Stan. Aside from his never having seen the movies, Stan also wasn’t sure why the entire shebang took place in Hollywood Studios (his least favorite park), especially because the Star Wars Land expansion wasn’t even finished yet. All Studios had to offer for the event was boring old motion-simulator Star Tours and the giant stomp robot it was housed in (“the AT-AT, Stan,” Mike had sighed at least 15 times in the past hour alone). That said, though, Mike loved Star Wars and had apparently been looking forward to getting his picture taken with the round rolling robot (“he has a name, Stan, call him BB-8!”) for quite some time now. Since February and the veritable relationship shitstorm they’d weathered, Stan had been extra determined to compromise wherever he could to show Mike that he was in this for the long run, and as compromises ran, Star Wars Weekend wasn’t a bad one by any means.

“Do you want me to watch the movies, Mike?” he asked, resigned.

Mike laughed and pulled up the bottom of his Rebel Alliance shirt to mop the sweat off of his face. Stan didn’t even bother to hide the way his eyes slid down to Mike’s newly exposed stomach, and made a mental note to ask a Cast Member how long Star Tours was so he could gauge whether or not it was feasible to fool around on the ride. (So far, they’d managed some light groping on the 11 minute ride through the Haunted Mansion, and would have gotten even farther on Pirates except that Stan had Richie’s voice in his head the whole time reminding him of “all the fuckin’ shit I’ve seen on those cameras, Stan, I swear to whatever Jewish God you pray to”.)

“I should have asked if you liked Star Wars, like...weeks ago,” Mike said sadly. “I guess I just assumed. I’m sorry.”

“No worries,” Stan assured him, putting a comforting and not at all lascivious hand on his bicep. “I love Star Wars Weekend. It’s like living in another country for two days. I don’t understand shit about what’s going on, but the food is good and it’s pretty fucking funny if you play your cards right.”

“Another country?” Mike smiled. “Another planet, more like.”

Stan laughed. “Now you’re getting it. Speaking of miscommunications, do we have word from Richie and Eddie?”

“Operation double date is a go,” Mike confirmed, pulling out his phone to double check his texts. “Eddie said they’d be here in like twenty minutes.”

“Cool,” Stan said, and was surprised to find that he meant it. Richie had been in the apartment less and less as his relationship with Eddie had gotten more and more serious, which had culminated in Stan seeing Richie maybe twice over the entirety of the past two weeks. (Stan hoped that meant that they were finally having sex. It would be such a relief to know that Richie had built himself back up to a place where he was finally ready to make that happen.) Stan would never admit it to Richie’s face, but he was starting to miss having Richie around. He was running out of things to clean in the apartment, because no one was around to leave dishes in the sink or leave toothpaste smeared across the bathroom counter. It should have been a relief, but instead it was weird. He’d had Richie around for so long that the idiot had become a central part of his daily routines, and while he was happy that his friend was finally getting his shit together, it was going to be tough to reimagine his life with less Richie.

But. That was a problem for Later Stan.

“So,” Mike continued, “I was thinking maybe we grab food and then head for character meet-and-greets once they arrive? I’ve been waiting to eat chocolate Darth Vader cake all day, and if we don’t do that before Richie shows up, he’ll try to steal off of our plates.”

“True!” Stan brightened at the idea of food. He’d seen people walking around with some kind of blue drink that he’d been dying to try all day. “I think they’ve got cupcakes and stuff at that bakery over by Sunset?”

Mike shrugged. “Sounds right. It’ll be deserted over there, too - no one wants to ride Tower of Terror during Star Wars Weekend. Wanna walk?”

“I do,” Stan said, taking up a brisk pace towards the Sunset Boulevard themed area of the park. “I might be wrong about the cupcakes, though. I really don’t know this park at all. I only come here with Richie.”

“Let me guess,” Mike said knowingly, following Stan across the park, “he takes you here because he likes to feel like he’s doing better than someone at the Toy Story Midway Mania game.”

Stan almost stopped in his tracks. “How did you know?”

“He took me here the first time we hung out solo, too,” Mike said, catching up with Stan during his momentary lull and taking his hand. Stan couldn’t help but smile a little bit at the gesture, even though he was sure he’d drop Mike’s hand sooner rather than later - May in Florida meant that things were already almost unbearably muggy. “I think he takes everyone here so that he can gauge their Toy Story shooting skills.”

“And you were better than him?” Stan guessed.

“I wasn’t worse,” Mike agreed. “His hand-eye coordination needs some serious work.”

“No, my hand-eye coordination needs some serious work,” Stan sighed, spotting the bakery he was thinking of and making a beeline for it with Mike in tow. “Richie just can’t see. He has to wear the 3D glasses on top of his regular glasses.”

“Well, if we ever ride that ride together, I’ll let you win, sweetheart,” Mike promised, and Stan reached up to pull his curls desperately down over his ears so as to hide how red they’d just gotten. Mike really was the least selfish person on Earth. How had he, Stanley Uris, gotten so lucky?

But...now wasn’t the time to reflect on selfishness, because that would just make both of them a little bit sad. Neither of them had reached out to Bill at all since early March, and while they’d admitted to one another that they felt a little bit like they hadn’t given him enough of a chance (although Mike still felt worse about it than Stan did - it was in Mike’s nature to hope for change, and it was in Stan’s nature to know that things were going to stay the same), their residual guilt hadn’t been enough to warrant a check-in with their ex-partner just yet.

It would have to be soon, though - they both knew that. The seven of them were booked to visit Anaheim in just two short months, and if they weren’t amiable by then, Bev would kill them.

Soon wasn’t now, though. They’d be ready when they were ready.

“Let’s just never ride that ride together, okay?” Stan suggested, stopping in front of the bakery and checking out the menu signs out front. “Is this the cupcake you wanted?”

“Are these the droids I’m looking for?” Mike joked, but it fell on deaf ears. Stan knew a fair amount of Star Wars jokes as a result of his longtime dedication to r/funny (and he was absolutely positive that they’d be made less funny by his actually having seen the films, he just knew it, which was the real, core reason why he hadn’t bitten the bullet and watched the goddamn movies), but he had long since resigned himself to the fact that there were some references he was just never going to get.

“Chocolate Darth Vader,” Stan continued, trying to save them both some embarrassment. “Or was it this Jabba the Hutt….thing?”

Mike squinted at the menu, paying special attention to what was apparently a new item as of this year’s Star Wars Weekend. “That is the ugliest fucking cupcake I’ve ever seen in my life.”

“Can’t be uglier than Eddie’s mom!”

Fuck. Eddie’s stupid homing beacon brain had obviously struck again. Sighing heavily, Stan smoothed down his navy polo and turned around to greet his roommate.

“Hello Stan!” Eddie was three steps ahead of Richie, beaming as he bounded across the red concrete towards them. The shirt he was wearing had really obviously belonged to Richie at some point - the first clue was that it was white with Han Solo silhouetted in black on the front (Eddie didn’t know shit about Star Wars), and the second was that Eddie was absolutely swimming in it. In spite of both of those things, Eddie was in better spirits than Stan had maybe ever seen him, to the point where Stan was almost afraid that Eddie was going to hug him when he got close enough.

“Eddie,” Stan greeted, raising a hand slowly to wave cordially at their two friends as Mike slowly shifted his attention away from the cupcake selection. “Richie.”

“Stanakin Skywalker,” Richie grinned, coming up behind Eddie and sliding a hand easily onto Eddie’s shoulder, “here with Pad-Mike Amidala.”

Stan stared at him, wondering vaguely if he’d actually forgotten that Stan had zero knowledge of the Star Wars films. “Who?”

“Never mind.” Richie waved a conceding hand. The motion of his wave drew Stan’s eyes to his shirt, which was the most hideous brown monstrosity Stan had maybe ever seen (modeled after that creature that was always with Han Solo whose name Stan always forgot), and he wondered: had he actually missed Richie Tozier, or had his mind just gone soft and nostalgic from being alone in the apartment?

“How’d you find us, Eddie?” Mike asked, smiling warily down at the top of Eddie’s head. “I didn’t text you that we were getting food, did I?”

Eddie shrugged. “Had a hunch. Richie saw one of those blue drinks and thought that Stan would like that, and I know you can get those here, so.”

Stan looked at Richie, who was smiling at his giant, converse-clad feet, and felt a little bit sad all over again. His empty apartment nostalgia brain had nothing to do with how big of a hole Richie’s semi-departure had actually left in his life.

But again - that was a problem for Later Stan.

“Come on, Rich,” Stan said, moving towards the doors of the Starring Rolls Cafe and beckoning to his friend. “I’ll buy you a cupcake.”

Richie’s resulting smile was enough to make Stan consider skipping the fireworks show - it was that much of a spectacle. “He does care!”

“I always have, dipshit,” Stan muttered, walking pointedly away from Richie and into the air-conditioned cafe. Immediately, he let out a sigh of relief - the Florida heat fucking sucked, and he could practically feel his hair going nuts with it at this point in the day. Behind him, he heard Richie following along and chattering enthusiastically, but he tuned that out in favor of locating the blue drink he wanted on the menu. Once he found it, he couldn’t help but scowl...there was no way he was going to be able to pronounce the name of that cocktail well enough to order it. Reluctantly, he turned back to Mike.

“Hey sweetheart,” he began slowly, “the blue drink....”

Mike glanced at the menu, and then he threw his head back and let out a long laugh. Embarrassed, Stan tightened his shoulders and turned around.

“Never mind, I don’t--”

“Alderaan,” Mike said, still wheezing with laughter. “It’s pronounced All - deh - rahn...although if you want to pay homage to that meme you like about the high ground, you should get the red Mustafar thing--”

Stan considered that. On the one hand, he was mortified enough at this point to be seriously considering just skipping the drink altogether, but on the other...he did love that meme...

“Richie?” He glanced off to the right, scanning the room for Richie, who had become suspiciously quiet since they’d entered the bakery. “Tell me what you want so I can ge--”

The sentence dried up in Stan’s mouth as he locked eyes with one Bill Denbrough, who was standing next to a sheepish looking Richie. Stan vaguely registered the presence of Eddie, Beverly, and Ben behind Bill, but it didn’t matter that they were there, not really.

Well, it did, kind of. He tore his eyes from Bill and quickly scanned each of their faces - Richie looked uncomfortable, Eddie looked kind of sick, Ben looked embarrassed, and Bev...Bev looked…

Stan turned back to the left to glance at Mike, and when Mike met his gaze, a small nod confirmed Stan’s suspicions: this was Beverly Marsh’s doing, most definitely.

Bill himself looked more gaunt than Stan remembered - as if someone had taken the face that Stan remembered and stretched it thinner, made it longer, made it sadder, almost. His blue eyes stood in stark contrast to the circles around them, and they looked scared.

Bizarrely, that detail was almost comforting to Stan. It was good that Bill was a little frightened. That was better than Bill being indignant, or having that Denbrough fiery conviction in his eyes. No...frightened, Stan could work with. It gave him leverage, at the very least.

Mike would feel bad about it, though - and Stan could see him already starting to feel bad about it, guilt was creeping across his face and sinking his shoulders. Damn it.

Bill spoke first. “You didn’t t-tell me they were going to be here, Bev.”

Oh. That was new. Stan knew that Bill had stuttered in his youth, but he hadn’t ever actually heard him do it. Was it a ploy, or was it legitimate? Was it shitty of Stan to even be thinking that question?

“You guys were never going to get here on your own,” Bev said cooly, and Stan felt a little spike of anger at her - who was she to dictate the terms of this revisitation? They weren’t ready. None of them were ready, and Hollywood Studios was the wrong venue for any kind of confrontation.

Before he could collect his thoughts well enough to voice his displeasure, though, Eddie was speaking. “Should we go, then?” he asked, twisting the hem of his shirt in his hands nervously. “We could get in line for Star Tours, maybe? Or the Luke Skywalker meet-and-greet?”

“Do you know the names of any Star Wars characters that aren’t Luke Skywalker?” Richie asked fondly, re-situating his hand on Eddie’s shoulder. Eddie leaned into the touch, smiling quietly to himself.

“I like Luke Skywalker.” Eddie defended himself without any real heat, sliding a hand up to cover Richie’s. “He’s gay.”

Ben half-covered his face with his hand. “Oh, Eddie…”

“We’ll go,” Bev decided loudly, grabbing for Ben’s hand and leading him towards the door. “Text me when you’re ready to join us, boys. We’ll be in line for something or other, probably.”

Bev, Ben, Richie, and Eddie swept out of the restaurant together, and all of Stan’s angry words were left to fester as the four of them disappeared into the crowd, chattering about the merits of meeting Princess Leia (Bev’s choice) versus meeting Luke Skywalker (Eddie’s choice).

For the first time since February, Stan, Mike, and Bill were alone together. It was almost funny that they were reconciling in a restaurant, Stan thought, except that it was really not funny at all. None of them had moved, so they weren’t even set up to have a private conversation - they were stuck just staring at each other across the bakery as patrons entered and exited.

After a long thirty seconds, Mike strode forward, and gestured to Stan to follow him. Stan clenched his fists and entertained the idea of resisting - he didn’t want either of them to be drawn back into the vortex they’d been in before, the last two months had been so good - but in the end, he followed, because this wasn’t about going back, not really. It was about moving forward.

How have you been, Bill?” Mike asked softly, offering out a hand for Bill to shake.

Bill stared at Mike’s hand as if it were going to bite him, but Mike held firm, and after an excruciating moment, Bill relented. Stan was surprised at how visibly Bill relaxed when his brain finally processed that Mike and Stan weren’t going to be hostile. He deflated like a balloon, sagging his shoulders and sliding his hand into Mike’s.

“Okay,” Bill said, and Stan could almost feel the way his face immediately synched up with Mike’s as they raised their eyebrows at Bill skeptically. Bill stared at them for a second, and then choked out a laugh, eyes widening incredulously. “Okay, not great, not really even okay, actually. Holy shit, you guys.”

“Sorry,” Mike said, at the same time that Stan said, “Now THIS is podracing,” and Bill let out another hoarse laugh.

“Is that a meme?” he asked, smiling up at Stan, and Stan felt his stomach clench upon seeing the little crinkly smile lines around Bill’s eyes. How fucking odd, to remember the things that you were attracted to in a person without experiencing the actual attraction.

“Yes,” Stan said, and found that his voice wasn’t nearly as sharp as he’d anticipated it being. “Of course it’s a meme. You know me.”

Bill looked like he had something to say on that point, but to Stan’s great surprise, he kept it to himself.

“Guest Relations still going okay? I never see you in the tunnels,” Mike continued, already grasping for straws as far as small talk topics were concerned. The conversation was going to have to get serious soon - Stan wasn’t sure why Mike was delaying the inevitable.

“It’s fine,” Bill shrugged. “Kind of boring. I see Richie and Eddie sometimes, but mostly it’s just the usual sitting at the window and fielding complaints. How’s Splash? And Yacht?”

“Splash is great, actually,” Mike said, smiling slowly. “I’m glad I transferred there. I’m having a lot of fun.”

If Bill was upset about that, he was doing a good job of not showing it. “I’m glad. And you, Stan?”

Stan nodded, trying to be as agreeable as possible. “We’ve got wings closed for renovation, so it’s pretty quiet. Once we’re full steam ahead again, though, I’m going to put in for Manager.”

Bill swung his eyes over to meet Stan’s, and Stan was surprised by how open his expression was. “Good. Sounds like you’re both doing well.”

Mike and Stan exchanged a nervous glance. “We’re fine, yeah.”

There was an awkward silence, exacerbated by Bill turning away for a few seconds to look at the cupcake case. Once he turned back, Mike spoke again.

“I’m sorry for what happened in February,” he said, and Stan straightened up. Finally, finally, finally they had reached the meat of the conversation - and the sooner they got through it, the sooner this terrible interaction would be finished. “I know I wasn’t fair.”

Mike turned his head after he was finished speaking and fixed Stan with a look that indicated that he expected Stan to apologize too...but Stan wasn’t quite there yet.

“Have you thought about what we said?” he asked instead, and he felt rather than saw Mike’s cringe.

Bill didn’t seem upset, though. In fact, he looked as though he had expected that line of questioning. “If I said yes, Stan, would you believe me?”

Stan didn’t really know what his answer to that question was. Fortunately, Mike was able to make a quicker judgement call.

“I would,” said Mike. “February Bill would have been pretty mad that we were doing well without him, I think, and you seem….you seem calm, Bill. Have you been talking to someone?”

“Just Bev,” he said, cutting eye contact with both of them and looking at the ground sheepishly. “We still live together for the moment, but I think she’s looking at moving in with Ben? Is that true?” He looked specifically at Mike for that question, and Mike nodded carefully.

“I think so? I’m pretty evenly split between my place and Stan’s, so I don’t know for sure,” he said, and Stan’s eyes snapped back to Bill’s face, trying to gauge his reaction about Stan and Mike spending time together. To his credit, he didn’t seem fazed at all.

Fuck. Maybe things had changed over the past few months. Maybe Bill was trying to self-improve after all.

“But I’m thinking about seeing a therapist,” Bill continued, shuffling his feet a little bit, “just to like, talk to someone, you know? And I’ve been thinking about what you guys were saying about the not listening, because...well, Bev said it too, and I’m not...I’m working on it.”

Mike smiled sweetly. “I can tell.”

“Me too,” Stan admitted, and Bill’s eyes snapped up at that. He had obviously not expected Stan to be kind.

“I have a question, though,” Bill asked, in a tone that quietly indicated that he only half-wanted to ask his question.

“Shoot,” Mike and Stan said in unison, and Bill shuddered.

“Fucking weird, you guys. Anyways,” he said, taking his time as if trying to word it perfectly in his head. “I just...what happened? Why me? I know that’s probably like...ignorant or something? Maybe? I don’t know, but...I deserve to know that, I think.”

Stan smiled thinly. The old Bill - the “deserve” Bill - was not quite dead, after all.

Mike, as always, was kinder than Stan, and launched quickly into an explanation.

“Well, the minority versus non-minority thing was bigger than you thought it was, I think,” Mike said thoughtfully, and Stan nodded.

“Yeah, ditto that. There are some things you just can’t understand unless you’ve lived them.”

Bill frowned and shoved his hands into his pockets. “But Stan’s white.”

Stan exhaled lowly. “Yeah, and that’s not the same as Mike and all the shit he deals with, I know...but the Jewishness, Bill. It’s a thing, even if I haven’t really practiced in a minute...it’s a thing.”

Sighing, Bill inelegantly pushed a hand back through his hair. “Okay, I guess. Was that it?”

Stan looked at Mike, and Mike nodded back at him, giving him the non-verbal green light.

“The dynamic was weird,” Stan said, willing Bill to look him in the eyes for this part. It wasn’t happening, but it felt like it was important to try, so Stan persisted. “You like to be in charge, and the two of us aren’t really people that like having people in charge of us.”

“Yeah,” Mike agreed. “We’re not Richie and Eddie, Bill - heck, we’re not even Ben and Bev. We’ve got a whole different thing going on, you know?”

Bill’s eyes were all but glued to the floor. “That makes sense, I guess.”

“You don’t like it,” Mike said flatly, and Bill hesitated for a moment before nodding.

“I don’t,” Bill agreed. “But. It helps to know.”

“We should have explained it better,” Mike said, and Stan nodded shortly - almost indecipherably, because part of him was still resistant to apologizing, but he nodded all the same. “It’s just so fucking frustrating in the moment, you know?”

Bill barked out a laugh. “Yeah, I definitely know.”

Another silence fell upon them, but it was more comfortable now. Stan could practically see the other side of the conversation, and he was desperate to get there. The staff was starting to be weirded out by their continued presence.

“Are we going to be okay, then?” he asked, trying to drive the other two to a more practical place.

They both looked up at him with matching fond smiles, and he felt heat curl in his gut. Fuck, that was...something else.

“I don’t know about hanging today, if I’m honest,” Mike said, more blunt than usual (and Stan knew that was for his sake), “but we could try another day and see? That’ll give us time to prepare.”

Bill nodded thoughtfully. “Time to prepare sounds good. Bev really threw us under the bus today, huh.”

“She really fucking did,” Stan agreed sourly. “Which day?”

“I’m pretty tied up this month,” Bill admitted, “but maybe beginning of June? Do you guys have Universal Studios Season Passes? I haven’t been on Kong yet.”

“Sounds like a plan,” Mike smiled. “Cool. You staying for the rest of this Star Wars crazy, Bill?”

“Nah,” Bill said, waving a hand dismissively across his face. “I’m more of a Star Trek guy. Bev knows that, so I was a little confused about why she asked me to come today...I guess I know now. Anyways. I’ll probably go home and watch reruns of Arrested Development.”

Stan nodded, feeling light. “Well, godspeed, then.”

Bill looked between the two of them, looking half pleased and half exasperated. “God, Stan, you’re so--”

“I know,” Stan said, reaching for Mike’s hand. To his great relief, Mike took it immediately. “I know.”

There was still more to say - the air was thick with conversation they weren’t having, but it was time for Bill to go, and he knew it.

“Goodbye, then,” he finally said, backing towards the doors of the restaurant.

“Goodbye,” Mike and Stan chorused, waving him away until he pushed his way out and back into the Florida sun.

They stood there like that for a moment, hands clasped, and then looked back at each other.

“How do you say the name of that drink again?” Stan finally asked, a smile tugging at the corners of his lips.

Mike opened his mouth to respond, but before he could, someone tapped Stan on the shoulder.

It was one of the Starring Rolls employees, holding his blue, blue drink.

“Couldn’t help but overhear,” she said quickly as Stan read her nametag (‘Patricia’, and she looked like one, too, all dark curls and dimples). “This is on the house. Sorry about your friend.”

Stan blinked back at her, too surprised to speak, and Mike clapped a hand on his shoulder, laughing softly.

“In another life, he’d be considering asking you to marry him right about now,” Mike informed the girl, who laughed in response.

“Sounds like it would be nice,” she said, beaming at the two of them. “Alternate universe Patty Blum is pretty lucky. But for now, enjoy, okay? May the fourth be with you.”

“Thank you,” Stan said, thirty seconds too late - she was already headed back to her post.

“Pull yourself together, sweetheart,” Mike chided jokingly, holding up his phone, which was lit up with new text notifications. “Bev’s wondering where we are. You up for doing more shit? I know that was a lot to handle.”

Stan looked down at his drink, and then up at Mike, and felt his face split into a huge, crazy grin.

“That’s...why I’m here.”

Mike’s responding groan propelled them out of Starring Rolls and all the way back to where Bev, Ben, Richie, and Eddie were waiting for them.

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lokirogersgirl · 6 years

Text

Mad World Pt. 8

Characters: Negan x Reader

Summary: Negan is a wealthy man who is often found at the most exclusive strip club. You are a new hire, your credentials causing them to place you up front. What happens when you and Negan cross paths?

Warnings: sadness, a funny moment, sad negan, we are gettin closer to the reader getting back at lucille,

*This was my fave chapter to write so far if im being honest, its just pretty and sad. It kinda focuses on the reader finding out about what happened to negan, and him starting to open up to her.*

That night I stayed outside Negan’s door, I felt like there was a clock ticking in my head, all I could think of was . Not his physical health, but his mental state. I knew something had happened, I knew what Lucille was saying was a lie. Negan wasn’t that kind of man. He had a heart of gold. He didn’t always show it, but it was there.

When Molly told me about Lucille and Negan I almost didn’t believe her. A woman raped a grown man? But for some reason after I saw Lucille I could tell she was a monster. She was cold as ice. Heartless. A cool breeze blew across my skin causing goosebumps to cover my body. I bit my lip, looking up as I heard the soft sound of the lock turning.

There he was. Looking broken as ever. His eyes looked heavy, like he hadn’t slept in months when in reality, it’d only been a few hours. I could tell he’d been crying by the red in his mesmerizing eyes. “Negan..” I spoke with a soft, caring voice. I wanted him to know I was here, no matter how much he tried to shut me out. His eyes closed when I said his name, like he was savoring the sound of his name on my lips. Like it was the last time he’d ever hear that sound.

He wouldn’t look at me, he just stared at the field in the distance. The full moon shined down, casting a blue tint on my face. I stared at the sky with him, admiring the stars in the night sky. I looked up when I heard a sniffle. It was barely audible, but it was there. I stood up, coming to stand in front of him. He shut his eyes tightly, a tear escaped his eye. I watched as it trailed down his stubbled face. I tilted my head in sympathy and understanding.

I slowly placed my hand on his cheek, he leaned into my touch. I watched as his tall walls deteriorated quickly, all the emotions he’d felt long ago and buried were suddenly coming back to him. I could feel my heart aching for him. All I wanted was for him to be okay. I walked forward, wrapping my arms around under his arms. I laid my head on his warm chest, memorizing the sound of his steady heartbeat.

He took me by surprise when he brought his arms up to wrap around me tightly. He buried his head in the crook of my neck. He inhaled a shaky breath, like he was trying to keep himself from unleashing a waterfall of tears. I whispered smoothly, “It’s okay, I’m here. I promise.” That was all it took.

His broad figure shook with tears, his breath was labored as he struggled to catch his breath. His sobs echoed in my ears, marking me forever. His sobs overtook his whole body causing his knees to give out, I went down to my knees with him. He had a death grip on my arm, like he thought if he let go i’d disappear and never come back. I stroked his hair to calm him down. “She will never hurt you again. I am so sorry I wasn’t there..” I told him and myself. The guilt I was feeling was eating at my soul.

Would things be different if I was there? Could I have prevented this?

I was so lost in my own thoughts I didn’t notice that Negan’s breathing had slowed, his sniffles had become quieter. I no longer felt tears falling onto the heavy sweater I was wearing. I closed my eyes as I snuggled closer to his body. He looked up at me, I gave him an almost motherly smile. He held onto my sweater tightly, his knuckles turned white. I laid my hand over his, urging him to calm down. “You’re safe.” I assured him.

“C’mon, let’s get you inside honey.” I carefully helped him up, letting him take as long as he needed to compose himself completely. We made our way inside the house. I told him to sit on the couch. I then went to look for the kitchen, I noticed a gate was blocking the way but I ignored it and walked over.

What I was not expecting was a huge dog standing in the middle of the kitchen. I screamed when I saw it, running over to the gate I tried to jump over it but my foot caught on the edge of the white barrier. I flew over it an onto the floor near the couch. “Ahh, oh ow motherfucker.” I exclaimed. Then I heard something unexpected.

A laugh.

I looked up to see Negan smiling, a deep, heavy chuckle escaped his lips. I gawked at him. “This is not funny!” I started laughing too. I couldn’t help it, his smiles were contagious. My heart warmed at him having a small moment of joy even if it was at my expense.

After the laughter died down, he walked over and helped me up. “You good?” He asked with a quiet voice. I nodded and laughed. “Yah. You didn’t tell me you had a dog.” He chuckled, “You never asked.” I rolled my eyes. “Fair enough.” He looked down at me, his hand came up and stroked my cheekbone. I leaned into his touch, just as he’d done to me.

“Talk to me. Please?” I figured he’d say no, or he’d pull away. But he grabbed my hand and brought me to his couch. We sat down, his thumb drew circles over my knuckles. I could tell he was doing it because he was nervous. “Negan, it’s okay. You can tell me whatever you want. He nodded knowingly. “I went to the bar, to uh look for Molly. She wasn’t there so I went to her dressing room. Lucille was there.”

I bit my lip, waiting for him to continue. “She hit me with somethin’, I was passed out for a while. She had me tied up and shit. All she did was try and feel me up and yell at me. So I figured if I just pretended to give into her bullshit love game she’d let me go and I could get away. It worked in the beginning. I hit her in the head with somethin’.. She attacked me, wrestled me to the fuckin’ ground. I hit my head on some fucking vanity or some shit. I just remember her smashing my goddamn head against that fuckin’ wood as hard as she could. Eventually I couldn’t fight her anymore.” He paused, contemplating if he should continue. I could see the hesitation in his eyes. “She reached for my buckle, and uh.. She um..”

“She raped me, Y/N.. I fuckin’ swear I didn’t say yes.. And I didn’t lay a hand on her sexually.. I tried to get her the fuck off me. Bu-” I cut him off.

“You do not have to explain yourself to me. I believe you. I believe you, Negan. She’ll never hurt you again, I swear. I will do anything to make sure she never lays an eye on you.” He looked into my eyes. I meant every word I said. She wouldn’t come near him again. I’d make sure of that.

#sorry for the short chapter #:(#i wanted to keep it short and sweet #kinda #short and sad #negan x you #negan x reader #jdm #jeffrey dean morgan #send help #amc the walking dead #the walking dead #walking dead #thewalkingdead #walkingdead

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fae-fucker · 7 years

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Crown of Midnight: Chapter 3-4

Chapter 3

Nothing fucking happens. Sardines has a nightmare about Cain and later she and Nehemia talk about the rebellion and the king’s plans without really saying anything, and my hatred for that fucking dog just keeps growing. Observe.

Fleetfoot took off through the pale grass like a bolt of golden lightning

[...]

Dorian had never said what breed, exactly, he suspected her mother had mated with. Given Fleetfoot’s size, it could have been a wolfhound. Or an actual wolf.

Are you telling me this fucking dog is a fucking golden wolf?

I will eat this spaghetti-lookin’ bitch.

Nehemia’s creamy brown face paled slightly.

Why does the word “creamy” upset me so much in this?

Nehemia wants Sardines to try to figure out what the king is planning, but Sardines is like “nah”.

She wasn’t even sure if she truly wanted to know what the king was up to—let alone share that information with anyone else. It was selfish, and stupid, perhaps, but she couldn’t forget the warning the king had given the day he crowned her Champion: if she stepped out of line, if she betrayed him, he’d kill Chaol. And then Nehemia, and then the princess’s family.

But then, literally the next sentence:

And all of this—every death she faked, every lie she told—put them at risk.

Sardines: Hmm. Finding out the king’s sinister plans and telling my allies about them is a bad idea -- even though said allies desperately need that information -- because that might put them at risk, but saving various noblemen for no reason and put my unknowing allies in danger just so I can keep the moral high ground makes total and absolute sense!

What a master schemer this idiot is, huh?

WHAT A KWEEN.

People say they love Sardines but hate Alien and I frankly don’t get it. Sardines has always been a dumb, selfish twat, that will clearly never change.

Celaena swallowed hard. That word—“act”—scared her more than she’d like to admit.

Good self-burn there, buddy.

Chapter 4

Salad (which is my new nickname for Chaol) and Sardines are having a jog.

They’d bundled up as best they could without weighing themselves down—mostly just layers of shirts and gloves— but even with sweat running down his body, Chaol was freezing.

Layers of gloves? What the fuck?

Noticing his stare, she flashed him a grin, those stunning turquoise eyes full of light.

Eat my entire ass, Sarah.

Salad angst about how he killed Cain. He’s very sad about it. This is what you get for hiring an inexperienced twenty-something to be the captain of the guard. But if we don’t make him young it’ll be icky for Sardines to fuck him, and if we don’t make him captain then he’s just NOT GOOD ENOUGH for Sardines, ain’t that right, Sarah?

I’d say you’re being transparent but you’re already pretty white.

He was the Captain of the Guard—he was bound to have killed someone at some point. He’d already seen and done enough in the name of the king; he’d fought men, hurt them.

SJM: Hey guys I’m clearly aware that this is dumb but if I acknowledge it’s dumb you’ll accept it, right?

No.

Salad asks Sardines if she ever thinks about the people she’s killed, and since she’s the most ruthless and epic and badass assassin the world has ever known, ever, she angsts on about how she never forgets anyone she kills.

I don’t give a single shit.

Salad angst about how he desperately wants to nestle his dick between Sardines’ pearly white and hairless asscheeks, but can’t because uuuuhhh angst angst loyalty to the king and also Dorian wants to do her and he doesn’t want to betray his friend.

Whatever. I don’t give a damn. Unlike many other antis, I don’t consider Chaol to be a good character and I couldn’t give less of a shit about his problems.

Listen. You guys only think he’s good because everyone else is pretty much terrible. You cling to him because his mediocrity looks impressive when compared to the literal ass-garbage that is the rest of the lineup.

We jump POV back to Sardines.

And what’s this? GIRL HATE? FOR ME?! IN CHAPTER FOUR?!

Christmas Yulemas has come early this year.

Since Salad is all sweaty from their jog and his shirt clings to his HOT MUSCLED MALE MANLY MASCULINE VIRILE MAN-BOD, there are DUMB VAPID BITCHES there to check him out.

Celaena could have sworn their eyes had bulged out of their heads and their tongues had rolled onto the ground.

Then the next morning, they’d appeared along the path again—wearing even nicer dresses. The day after that, more girls showed up. And then several more. And now every direct route from the game park to the castle had at least one set of young women patrolling, waiting for him to walk by.

“Oh, please,” Celaena hissed as they passed two women, who looked up from their fur muffs to bat their eyelashes at him. They must have awoken before dawn to be dressed so finely.

You see, when Sardines ogles Salad or Doriass, that’s okay because uuuuuuuuh Sarah loves her little baby girl and she can’t do no wrong and also she feels TRU WUV (even though her TRU WUV is made irrelevant with the arrival of Ratty to the point where every other love was just useless before that I guess) when she checks those boys out.

THESE GIRLS DRESS NICELY!! TO IMPRESS MEN!! WHILE ALSO CHECKING THEM OUT!!

THEY’RE VAPID DUMB BITCHES!! EVEN THOUGH THE ONLY WAY FOR WOMEN TO GET POWER IN THIS SOCIETY IS THROUGH MEN!! LOOK AT THEM AND LAUGH!! SO PATHETIC!!

Cool cool.

God, I hate this series so much.

Salad offers Sardines to help her with her Archer-related business and she turns him down.

Hey Salad, aren’t you, like, I dunno, the captain of the guard? Don’t you have STUFF TO DO?!

Sorry, I forgot that this world and its characters all revolve around Sardines and her problems. How silly of me.

They come across Doriass who is walking around with his cousin Roland, who I’m sure is totally chill.

His voice was pleasant enough, but something in it made her pause. It wasn’t amusement or arrogance or anger … She couldn’t put her finger on it.

[...]

Just the way he spoke told her enough about his history with women.

[...]

As she let Chaol lead her inside the castle, she realized she was in desperate need of a bath. But it had nothing to do with her sweaty clothes, and everything to do with the oily grin and roaming eyes of Roland Havilliard.

Yeah, I’m sure this guy is totally cool!

We all know that SJM can clearly write very nuanced characters and that this incredibly obvious and cliché character introduction is just here to mislead us and make us think that Roland is a gross douchebag only so Kween Sarah can prove us wrong and develop his character into someone truly heroic!

Anyway, turns out that Roland is the “lord” of some place called Meah, which doesn’t tell me anything, but whatever. He’s been offered a position on the king’s council, which is suspicious, apparently, because Roland is more interested in getting his dick wet rather than politicking. This is framed as disgusting, even though that’s pretty much exactly what Doriass is. It’s not the first nor the last time SJM makes hypocritical exceptions for her faves.

Doriass introduces Sardines as Lillian.

They still used her alias whenever she couldn’t avoid running into members of the court, though most everyone knew to some degree that she was not in the palace for administrative nonsense or politics.

So the official story is that a petty jewelry thief became the king’s champion, then?

Holy shit, this world is filled with morons.

I also love how “administrative nonsense” and “politics” are looked down upon, but when Sardines does her BRILLIANT MIND GAMES, it’s not politics, it’s uuuuh ... Fuck man, I can’t even begin to imagine how SJM’s mind works.

Roland hits on Sardines, and her two daddies really don’t like that.

Chaol smiled—if you could call it that. It was more a flash of teeth.

Have you considered that I don’t care and that this clarification doesn’t matter?

She wouldn’t mind working with him—but not in the way Roland meant. Her way would include a dagger, a shovel, and an unmarked grave.

Actually, her way would include a corpse, a staged murder scene, and the hope that he stays hidden and nobody recognizes him for who he is.

Eat my entire ass, Sarah.

We switch to Doriass’ POV.

Chaol positively hated Roland, and whenever he came up in conversation, it was usually accompanied by phrases like “conniving wretch” and “sniveling, spoiled ass.”

So Sardines and Doriass, respectively, though “conniving” might be overstating it.

Roland was a pain in the ass, and too aware of the effect his looks and his Havilliard name had on women, but he was harmless. Wasn’t he?

Dorian didn’t know the answer—and he wasn’t sure if he wanted to.

SJM: Subtlety? I don’t know her.

We switch back to Sardines’ POV.

Her salary as King’s Champion was considerable, and Celaena spent every last copper of it. Shoes, hats, tunics, dresses, jewelry, weapons, baubles for her hair, and books. Books and books and books.

Books? She likes reading? How relatable? You like reading too, don’t you, young female reader who is the target demographic for this book? Don’t you feel connected to Sardines on a deep, meaningful level?

You see, when other women dress nice, they’re whores and idiots and brainless. When Sardines does it, she’s just embracing her femininity!

Ain’t that right, White Feminism?

Whatever. Doriass is there in her room/s when she returns, which she doesn’t approve of.

“Aren’t friends allowed to visit each other more than once a day?”

She stared down at him. Being friends with Dorian wasn’t something she was certain she could actually do.

Seems like SJM has been taking writing lessons from Cakeass.

Didn’t you spend an entire book angsting about how you couldn’t be friends with Doriass and then deciding that you would rather stay friends than be lovers? And now you’re back on square one? Are we really doing this again?

I’m so tired.

“And you have so much time on your hands these days that you can spend hours with me again?”

“Well, I have my usual flock of ladies to attend to, but I can always make time for you.”

Dorian is written as a player, but whenever we see him interact with women who are not Sardines, he’s shitty and hateful towards them. But it’s okay though, right? Because those dumb sluts are worthless and stupid, not amazing and brilliant like Sardines! It’s okay that Dorian clearly doesn’t respect any other woman aside from Sardines (and presumably Nehemia, since SJM has bestowed her godly blessing upon her for now), because those other women are simply not worthy of any respect!

And obviously, even though Dorian clearly wants Sardines but plays around with other women, that’s totally fine! Women checking out men though? That’s disgusting.

SARAH J MAAS IS A FEMANAST KWAAAN!

Doriass makes it clear he still wants to tap that, but Sardines tells him to fuck off.

Alone in the foyer, Celaena clenched and unclenched her fists, suddenly disgusted with all of the pretty packages on the table.

Eat my entire ass.

#eff reads: crown of midnight #book rants #anti tog #anti sjm

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boystownbirdie · 7 years

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LMWTV4U: GOT S7E5

Welcome back! In case you’re new, this is “Let me watch TV 4 U,” the blog where I watch TV so you don’t have to. I’ll be recapping Game of Thrones, Season 7 Episode 5 and SPOILERS ABOUND SO PROCEED WITH CAUTION.

Tonight’s episode was titled “Eastwatch” but a more fitting title would have been “Don’t I know you from a few seasons ago?” If you’ve been following GoT for awhile, you might know that “unlikely alliances” is one of George R.R.R.R.R. Martin’s go-to-setups. He really gets off on taking 2 characters who are TOTAL OPPOSITES on paper and watching them learn to get along, just like the premise of all sitcoms. Well all of these unlikely pairs have been meeting, forming bonds, and saying goodbye for the past 7 seasons and NOW we’re apparently at the part where we have to watch them meet back up again. It kind of sounds like a kewl idea but idk about you, it just turns into a mess as a viewer because you have to remember how/when/where everyone met before. It’s like watching a livestream of a very tense high school reunion.

All that being said, some shit went DOWN tonight, so let’s go!

First of all, we get a new location on the map in the beginning, Eastwatch! If you’ll recall this is the place where Gingerbae (my fave wildling and #2 crush after Bae- Jon Snow) went to guard the wall at the behest of Bae a few eps ago.

Our first scene takes place right after last week’s epic dragon battle...

We learn that Jaime and Bronn are both still alive and we have to watch Jaime spit up seawater and I’m like who do you think you are, Euron Greyjoy?!? (lol that joke only works if you watched last season, sorry). Bronn is like dude, do you have a death wish? And Jaime is like kind of… cuz my sis Queen Pixie Cut (QPC) is a “shoot the messenger” type and now I have to tell her about all this dragon business.

Speaking of, we get some more hot-dragon-action (and I meant hot as in temp-wise, not sexual...yet...wait til Bae gets his fingers on a dragon). Tyrion is looking around at all the hell Khaleesi hath wrought and seems pretty sad about it. Remember he is a Lannister, so a lot of people who got burnt up were his home-bois.

He walks over to Khaleesi who has rounded up the surviving Lannisters and is looking FLY AS HELL post-battle scene. Seriously, who does her hair? Probs a Dothraki cuz #goodatbraids. Khaleesi tells all the captured soldiers to kneel before her and declare loyalty to her or get killed. Sams mean dad (SMD) and Sam’s Bro Dickon (SBD) refuse to kneel because they’re #tooproudtobeg and Khaleesi is like, srsly guys? But they are truly #tooproud, so they both get burned up by the dragon, per Khaleesi’s orders. All of this is very not cool with Tyrion and he makes that pretty clear.

Next, we pop over to King’s Landing where Jaime is about to drop some #truth on QPC…

He tells her things are not looking so hot (or are they looking VERY HOT? Get it? Cuz dragons...sorry I’ll stop now) and that the Dothrakis (Khaleesi’s horse people) and dragons will kill them all. QPC suggests they hire mercenaries but Jaime is not feeling it. Then Jaime drops truth bomb #2 and tells QPC that he recently got the scoop that Grandma Tyrell admitted to killing their son Joffrey. See QPC was CONVINCED that Tyrion killed Joffrey which is what eventually led T to flock to #teamkhaleesi. Jaime is maybe able to convince her of this fact and that they might have to surrender to Khaleesi. She’s basically like well, damned if you do, damned if you don’t, ya know? The theme of this scene is TROUBLE IN PARADISE.

Now to the Bae-on-dragon action I promised…

Bae is waiting at the arrivals gate for Khaleesi and #1 dragon like a sad little chauffeur when Mr. Dragon lands right on his toes. Rather than giving Mr. Dragon a wide berth, he walks right up to him and TOUCHES HIS NOSE like he’s friggin’ Moana (Moana fans where you at?) Mr. D is like about to bite at first but then he’s like, naw, you’re cool. Probably because Bae is secretly a Targaryen and they’re all about dragons. Bae asks Khaleesi about her business trip and she’s like I TCOB’ed if that’s what you mean and says “sometimes strength is terrible” but that as leaders, they have to be strong.

Khaleesi then starts to ask Bae about the knife-in-the-heart comment that No-Knuckles (NK) made a few weeks ago and before Bae has to uncomfortably describe his weird Lazarus-situation to her, Stoney shows up, fresh off being cured of his stone disease by none other than Bae’s bestie Sam. The artist formerly known as Stoney (but let’s just keep calling him Stoney for now) is like will you still have me, Khaleesi? And she’s like DOI, OF COORS. And Bae is like oh I knew your dad he was a kewl dude he gave me this sword.

We get a brief interlude with everyone’s fave sooth-sayer, Brandon Stark! He hops into the eyeballs of some birds who fly North to get an update on the ice-zombie-army. As we all suspected, the ice zombies are CLOSER THAN EVER and headed to Eastwatch. This should not be a surprise because every time we check on them they’re just walking further South and unlike humans do not need to stop to eat or pee or get their hair intricately braided.

We pop into Oldtown, where Sam hears about Bran’s report. He tells all the other Maesters that they should listen to him but they, as always, are like naw this shit can’t be real. Also Maester-Jim-Broadbent is like BTW, Sam’s dad and bro just got burnt up but don’t say anything to him.

Back to Dragonstone…

Where Tyrion and sleevey recap sam's dad and bro getting killed and agree that it was not cool, bro. Sleevey helpfully recalls a time when Khaleesi’s dad was always burning people alive. Sleevey reveals that Bae got a letter in the mail and yes, he did read it which is a FEDERAL OFFENSE, SLEEVEY! You can’t afford to go to prison!

Bae gets his hands on the letter from his bro Bran and learns A LOT. A. Bran is alive. B. Arya is alive. And C. The Night-King (leader of the ice zombies) is coming to Eastwatch. Again, this should be a surprise to no one. He talks things through with Khaleesi and co. to devise a plan and everyone has something to contribute, you guys! Here’s the plan

Tyrion will talk to his bro to try to convince him that ice zombies are real, who will then convince QPC.

NK will use his smugglin’ skills to smuggle T into King’s Landing (at this point it should really be Queen’s landing, right?)

Bae will head up north and capture an ice zombie to bring to everyone for proof. Stoney will use his battling skills to help with this.

Khaleesi is not about to let Bae go, though, probs cuz she wants more hot cave-action. But Bae is like sorry G2G!

Back in Winterfell and trouble is afoot!

Sansa is sitting at her in-charge-table and all the “Northern Lords” (although everyone’s fave 11-year-old-kween is nowhere to be seen) are still griping about Bae being down South with Khaleesi. Sansa doesn’t accept their offer to basically put her in charge, but she doesn’t defend Bae too much either. Arya, who was always besties with Bae when they were all kiddos, is not ok with that. She calls her out on it and notices that Sansa is staying in their mom and dad’s old room. She’s like ummm… you always liked nice things. Which is such a classic Winterfell-burn.

They chat and learn that they have very different views on uniting people and consolidating power. Arya is little more murder-y but Sansa is a little more scheme-y. Which better? IDK I haven’t read “The Art of War.” Basically, Arya knows that Sansa is still a bit power-hungry and calls her out on it. But I did read “Lean In” and I’m like, is that so bad?

Later, we pop back into King’s Landing where Arya is tailing Littlefinger cuz #shedontlikethelooksofthisguy, He’s being shady, as always, handing out poision, scheming with the Northern Lords, and then she sees the Maester give LF a piece of paper and she’s like oooohh I gotta get my hands on that. LF hides the paper in his room but, bitch, didn’t you know Arya is a trained assassin from the face-swapping-cult now?

She finds the paper which looks like this letter that Sansa wrote back in Season 1 when she was being forced by QPC. It’s basically her asking #teamStark to swear loyalty to Joffrey, all of which is irrelevant because most of Team Stark, along with Joffrey, is dead. Then we see LF behind the scenes looking all satisfied. Why you may ask? Well it seems like LF is trying to drive a wedge between the sisters by making Arya distrust Sansa even more. IDK I don’t condone violence but I really just want someone to stab LF.

Back to team Khaleesi, Tyrion and NK roll up on Queen’s Landing…

Tyrion reminds us all that the last time he was here, he killed his dad. NK is like well the last time I was here, you killed my son! You’d think there would be some sort of resolution with that but nope, NK was just throwing it out there! Tyrion heads off to see his bro and NK heads off on a secret mission that IS VERY CUTE, just wait and see.

Bronn sets up a meeting between Tyrion and Jaime, who haven’t seen each other since Jaime saved Tyrion from getting killed (per QPC and their dad’s orders). T proceeded to shoot their dad to death on the toilet, so Jaime is understandably a little peeved. Tyrion explains why he came and asks if Jaime could ask QPC if she might possibly be into checking out an ice zombie if they can get one. Jaime is still peeved but considers this helpful offer.

Meanwhile, we get a reunion of 2 of our faves, NK and Gendry!!!! So non-GoT-watchers, Gendry is this dude who is secretly the son of Robert Baratheon, QPC’s ex-hubby and the former king. Only a few ppl knew this, and to protect him from QPC, he got sent North to the wall with Arya. He and Arya developed a cute lil’ friendship and then he met up with some Lord-of-Light (LOL) worshippers, the same ones who the Hound (remember from ep 1 of this season) is now traveling with. Then the red witch lady came and took him to Stannis to have leeches eat his blood but before the red witch could kill him, NK set him free and sent him on a rowboat back to King’s Landing. So here we are…

They reunite and it’s adorbs, since Gendry is like thanks for saving my life, you were right I ended up being safe here. And NK is like oh good, so I have a favor to ask, will you come with us? It’s for- and before he can finish Gendry is like NP my bags are packed let’s go. And NK is like do you want more info...or… and Gendry is like nope this place is the pits, let’s go, lemme get my hammer. And I AM FEELING THIS HAMMER y’all, Gendry is basically Thor of GoT now. And he shall henceforth be known as New-Thor.

NK and New-Thor head to the boat to leave Queen’s Landing and encounter some guards who aren’t gonna let them off that easy. Just when they bribe their way out of there, Tyrion shows up and the guards are like...you look familiar? So New-Thor kindly uses his hammer and demolishes those dudes, leaving T and NK both stunned and impressed.

While we’re still at Queen’s Landing, we see Jaime knocking on QPC’s door, but she’s busy with Maester Qyburn, having some deep discussion. We also learn Qyburn is the hand-of-the-queen (did we know this before? It was news to me). Jaime is like what we’re y’all talking about, and QPC is like I’m sorry, HIPAA, I can’t tell you. Then she tells him that she knows he met with Tyrion and that he should punish Bronn for setting that up. She also hints that she’s willing to do a collab with Khaleesi but then she’s like “we will defeat whatever stands in our way” which doesn’t sound very collab-y to me.

Then, in a major reversal, SHE DROPS A TRUTH BOMB ON HIM and tells him she’s PREGNANT and the baby is HIS. He is shook but also very happy because he loves her a lot. He’s like who you gonna say knocked you up? And she’s like it’s 2017, bitch, I’ll say it was my twin bro cuz #hatersgonnahate. Do we believe she is really preggo? I do not. Classic desperation move when you see your man starting to slip away. But nonetheless he is happy about it so there’s that.

Next, we head back to Dragonstone...

Where Bae meets New-Thor in Bae’s fave place, a cave! They reminisce about how their dads were friends and New-Thor calls out Bae on being a little shorty-pie. We think Bae is gonna be like “ah hell naw” but instead he’s like LOL you’re right bro. New-Thor offers to head North with Bae to kill some ice-zombies with his hammer. NK is a little peeved because he told New-Thor not to tell anyone who his dad was and not to get himself into trouble. NK’s like well don’t mind me, I only lived to be an old man so what do I know about surviving? It’s a very cute scene and it all plays out like a dad playfully chastising his sons for picking a college that’s too far away.

On the shore we get some goodbyes. Tyrion and Khaleesi both say goodbye to Stoney and Khaleesi is especially sappy about it. Then she says goodbye to Bae, who is busy loading up his boats with zombie-killing-rocks from the caves. She’s like, so…I’ll call you next week? And Bae’s like umm….maybe? But you know they’re both fighting the urge to pop into a cave for a quick makeout sesh.

Next, we see Sam and Gilly in Oldtown reading books…

Gilly happens upon the MOST IMPORTANT INFO EVER in a book, which Sam, in a very-un-Sam-like way, completely ignores. It’s infuriating. Basically she finds out that Bae’s real parents, Rhaegar Targaryen (Khaleesi’s bro) and Lyanna Stark (Daddy Stark’s sis) were legit married when she had Bae, which means he is the ONE-TRUE-HEIR to the iron throne or whatevs. Sam, however, is too peeved about the Maesters not listening to him (or Bran for that matter) and gathers up some of the best books in the library (and he is in for the late fee OF A CENTURY cuz you know he won’t return ‘em) and heads out of there. It’s a frustrating scene. I just..can’t...

Finally, we make it to Eastwatch...

Where we get to check in with Gingerbae my #2 boo. Bae tells him the plan to trap the ice zombie and bring it back as proof and Gingerbae is like you are cuckoo. NK is there to confirm that yes, Bae is cuckoo, and no, he’s not going North with them. But on the docket we do have New-Thor with his hammer and Stoney with his un-stoned-hands and arms to help! Gingerbae is like well I know some other dudes who want to get up there...cut to…

The Hound and his LOL-ers Eyepatch and Gingerbun (am I the only one who finds Gingerbun kind of attractive?) are in Eastwatch-prison, doing a very poor version of Cellblock Tango from Chicago, the musical. This is the scene where the whole-don’t-I-know-you-from-somewhere gets really messy. No need to dive into all of it, the point is, these people have HISTORY with eachother. But Bae reminds them that since they’re all humans and not zombies, they’re on the same side. So they head out into the deep, cold, winter to trap and ice zombie. And we’re left there.

Let’s recap:

Biggest surprise this ep: QPC IS PREGNANT?!?!?!

Biggest letdown: Seriously Sam. You could not listen to the most important news ever because you were distracted?

Important fashion moments: Khaleesi lookin’ so fly fresh out of battle, Sansa is really rocking those fitted armor gowns

Who died this ep? Sam’s Bro Dickon (RIP) and Sam’s Mean Dad

Thanks for reading! Tell your friends and subscribe!?

#eastwatch #game of thrones #got #gotrecap #gotreview #gots7e5 #game of thrones recap #jon snow #game of thrones season 7 episode 5 #cersei #jaime lannister #davos seaworth #gendry

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gontagokuhara · 7 years

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me and @thisiswhatmylifeamountsto created a boyfriend for jared kleinman and here he is

lgbtrucy: idea: jared has the Biggest crush on one of his online gamer friends and while literally Everyone is aware hes gay (he told them all himself he wants them all to Know) he would rather die than admit he likes this online friendconnor finds out by accident. it turns wild

thisiswhatmylifeamountsto: Dude yes ((((((GAYmer friend)))))))) Nope you

*Nope you’re committed to this now - how does Connor find out?

lgbtrucy: and i feel like jared has connor and evan over around his place and theyre playing something online and jared’s friend comes on and jared’s immediately like “evan give the controller to connor i cant look like my friends are bad at video games"and connor is like >:) whats this

and he isnt horrible at video games, he just doesnt rly care about them (and jared Knows This) so when connor starts playing the worst he’s ever played jared is pissed

lgbtrucy: “connor what the hell man, you’re making me look like shit, knock it off!!”

evan eventually catches on and he and connor just start. making the fuck out in the middle of the game and jared has to get his headset on and apologize to his friend

“dude im so sorry my co-op is making out with his boyfriend IN MY ROOM, WHICH IS REALLY FUCKING WEIRD CONNOR, anyways sorry but hes the only one here that can play w me”

lgbtrucy: and connor is a smug asshole so hes like “oh who you talking to jared??” and jared goes red as hell and is like “no one just a friend online—you Were playing against him until you started fucking evan on my bedroom floor”

and the tiniest, giggliest “hot” comes from the headset and In That Moment, evan and connor pledge themselves to hooking jared up w this mysterious gamer boy who is so obviously perfect for jared

thisiswhatmylifeamountsto: THIS IS SO GOOD IM CACKLING AND CRYING Please tell me more about the adventures of Jared and mysterious gamer boy

lgbtrucy: ok So jared and mystery boy

lgbtrucy: his name is elliot, he’s half-korean, and i love him

lgbtrucy: hes goofy and more conventionally funny as opposed to jared, who’s funny by being kind of mean and using crude humor

lgbtrucy: anyways later on, evan is over at connor’s house and they break out connor’s scarcely-used xbox and send a friend request to elliot

once theyre friends, they sort of keep up appearences for a little while, playing games with him and eventually moving into text chatting and talking on headsets (connor had to spend $50 on a new headset. he was not pleased)

lgbtrucy: and one day they not-so-casually let slip the fact that they were “the guys who were fucking on jared’s floor” (evan nearly choked when elliot said that) and elliot is like !! “no way!! you guys are friends with jared?”

lgbtrucy: and because evan is a #good friend hes talking jared up “oh yeah jared is like my best friend, he’s so funny and cool and really good at video games” and elliots just “yeah, i know right” all dreamily and connor + evan know their plan is gonna Work

lgbtrucy: and connor says “maybe you two should meet up or something, i heard theres a convention or whatever near here this weekend” and elliot is like “!!heck yeah i just gotta ask my mom”

lgbtrucy: fastforward to the con: connor and evan are being dragged around by jared while he shows off excitedly but he suddenly halts when connor calls out, “hey, elliot.”

lgbtrucy: and jared doesnt know what elliot looks like. he doesnt know that its him officially. the only reason connor and evan know is bc they traded numbers and selfies so they could find each other

and elliot yells back “hey connor! hey evan!” and jared Knows because he knows his voice and he is ready to Die and break evan’s other arm

lgbtrucy: because evan Knows hes gay and even if he would rather cut off his own foot than admit he actually Likes elliot, evan knew that he thought really highly of him and What The Fuck evan???

lgbtrucy: and elliot approaches and looks at jared all smiles and asks him “jared?” and jared just kind of dazedly nods and elliot Lights Up and hugs him (jared nearly collapses) and is like “oh my god man im so excited to meet you!!!! i was looking forward to this all week since evan and connor told me about this!!!” and jared gives them A Look but hes lowkey happy

thisiswhatmylifeamountsto: Honestly this was all I ever wanted wow

lgbtrucy: so the four of them walk around the con, connor and evan kinda trailing behind because elliot is talking to jared about the mechanics behind some game they both like and how calculating the math of it made him really good, and it helps him w his adhd, and theyre all happy and gay(jared gets elliots number later)(and the rest is history) in conclusion im very passionate about jared and his gamer bf

thisiswhatmylifeamountsto: That was beautiful I also applaud your dedication I am also v passionate about Jared and his gamer boyfriend tbh

lgbtrucy: #givejaredaboyfriend2k17

thisiswhatmylifeamountsto: Now that is a cause I can get behind I’m kinda laughing at imagining gamer bf finding out about jared’s obsession with bath bombs

lgbtrucy: jared whispers “love the cronch” and everyone else loses it but elliot is just ?? “what????”

lgbtrucy: its explained to him and more than anything hes confused about why he would waste a $10 bath bomb by eating it

thisiswhatmylifeamountsto: Honestly so am I Wtf Jared But just think about Connor embarrassing Jared as much as possible

Because like He’s done the nice bit by getting them to meet And now he can be a little shit

lgbtrucy: “dear elliot cho we’ve been way too out of touch life has been crazy and it sucks that we dont talk that much. but i should tell you that i think of you each night; i rub my nipples and start moaning in delight” “CONNOR WHAT THE F U C K NO”

thisiswhatmylifeamountsto: I’M CRYING NO I CAN’T THAT WORKS SO WELL

lgbtrucy: while jared is Suffering elliot is just delighted at how cute he is “dont be embarrassed man its cute!!”

thisiswhatmylifeamountsto: ((((((Dammit why am I so attached to this fictional fictional character))))) Also On the list of things I want for no particular reason Alana + Elliot brotp

lgbtrucy: YES they both talk a lot but theyre both very on par with each other intelligence wise so it balances out??

thisiswhatmylifeamountsto: Yes yes yes

They do that thing where they both speak over each other a lot but they’re both happy because they’re enjoying what they’re talking about Plus Elliot is the one who gets her to call her friends her friends instead of her acquaintances

lgbtrucy: ye hes a good influence on everybody but everybody is Not a good influence on him

thisiswhatmylifeamountsto: Tell me more?

lgbtrucy: connor gets him high and he nearly drowns himself trying to race connor in a swimming contest

lgbtrucy: jared fucks his sense of humor for good. everytime someone mentions the word “dick” he laughs for ten minutes straigh

tzoe convinces him to dye his hair baby pink. she messes up the dying process and he ends up with electric pink hair

evan and alana are the only good influences

tbhthisiswhatmylifeamountsto: So far he’s got bright pink hair, laughing at dicks and drowning Amazing ((((OK but Jared being a little shit all the time But when Elliot thinks he’s going to far He gives Jared a look Like a LOOK And Jared is sort of like Oh shit OK That was pretty fucked up Sorry))))

lgbtrucy: yes!! he uses that look a Lot when connor and jared are in the same room

thisiswhatmylifeamountsto: Oh yeah definitely But one time Jared, Connor, Elliot and Evan are together for a while And Elliot doesn’t have to use the look once And he’s really damn impressed

lgbtrucy: jared gets an extra round of smorches. jared decides he likes that better than fucking w connor

thisiswhatmylifeamountstoYes But Connor is really confused??? Because like Sure Jared’s better with Elliot But suddenly he’s a downright angel??? And it’s weird But one day when Connor is feeling like shit Jared genuinely helps him out And Connor doesn’t care what happened It happened And it’s good

lgbtrucy: they still fuck w each other but its more lighthearted

nowthisiswhatmylifeamountsto: Like more “Hey I’m kinda being mean to you but it’s ok because we both know we love each other But in a heterosexual way Because we would never date Ever No Stop thinking about it"

Honestly Elliot sometimes questioned whether he should wonder if Jared was cheating on him but he A) trusted Jared B) could see how in love Connor was with Evan

lgbtrucy: he realizes even tho theyre being nicer to each other they could never date. they get caught at evans house together when a bad storm hits and they have to stay overnight and by the time they leave theyre beginning to go at each others throats so. no chemistry there

thisiswhatmylifeamountsto: Accurate Wait crap what about the Evan + Elliot brotp

lgbtrucy: they get along rly well honestly theyre good influences

elliot has adhd so he Knows how it feels when things become too much nd they can bond over similar experiences

lgbtrucy: good friends 10/10 would brotp

thisiswhatmylifeamountsto: I feel like their friendship is really pure Like half the time their conversations are just a bunch of compliments thrown at each other? Honestly I’m convinced that Elliot is my fave and this is really bad

lgbtrucy: elliot is the unproblematic fave

he just likes video games and his friends and his bf

thisiswhatmylifeamountsto: ok but Elliot not having any close friends He’s that guy who chats to everyone but has noone to confide in etc And then he finds some online But it’s still not the same And suddenly he has five??? And like They all really like him Like obviously he knew Jared And he got to know Connor and Evan But Zoe and Alana love him too And I’m just such trash for this au wow

lgbtrucy: ELLIOT LOVES ALL OF HIS BEST FRIENDS

when someone asks who his bff is he cant choose"oh man i dont know!! i love all my friends the same theyre all really great” (crying boyfriend sounds in the distance)

thisiswhatmylifeamountsto: Honestly every time Elliot does something really sweet/pure/nice Jared cannot handle it At all Because !!!! MY !!!!!!!! BOYFRIEND !!!!! HE’S SO CUTE But going back to drunk Jared Imagine drunk Jared with sober Elliot

lgbtrucy: "HI DID YOU KNOW I LOVE MY BOYFRIEND ELLIOT HES REALLY NICE AND CUTE AND R ES LLY GOOD AT VIDEO GAMES”

lgbtrucy: “o….oh really?” elliot is dying blushing at this point

“YEA HES REALLY GOOD DID YOU KNOW HE USES MATH AND SHIT TO PLAY VIDEO GAMES? IT SOUNDS LAME BUT HES RESLLY GOOD. AND ALSO VERY CUTE DID I MENTION I LOVE MY BOYFRIEJD HIS NAME IS ELLIOT”

someone (probably connor or zoe) is recording at this point. evan is near tears lauging. elliot is In Love

thisiswhatmylifeamountsto: When Jared watches the video in the morning he gets really nervous because he hasn’t seen Elliot that morning But when he does “So I hear you have a boyfriend named Elliot and he’s really cute? Interestingly enough I have a boyfriend named Jared’s who’s really cute - look how much we have in common” And Jared dies

lgbtrucy: DHSHSHS YES THATS SO CUTE (connor posts the video. it goes semi-viral. jared dies for a different reason)

thisiswhatmylifeamountsto: (Jared moans that he’s lost all of his street cred Nobody has the heart to tell him he never had any in the first place) OK but how often do Jared and Elliot so they’re going on a date And then the next day everyone finds out the ‘date’ consisted of beating each other at every single video game either of them owned

lgbtrucy: elliot is always swooning over these “super romantic” dates and everyone is like ??? jared?? ROMANTIC??? and its a big thing trying to find out just what jared and elliot do

turns out these romantic dates are playing video games for 10 hours and then going to mcdonalds at 3 am and sharing a milkshake

thisiswhatmylifeamountsto: Like when they find out everybody sort of wonders why they expected anything else

They met in person at a con through a shared love for video games after about three months of planning because neither of them wanted to make a move

lgbtrucy: elliot, unironically: jared is the most romantic person in the world everyone: that sounds fake but ok

thisiswhatmylifeamountsto: But I feel like Jared would be a really attentive bf Like he actually pays attention to what’s going on in Elliot’s life Like the day he has a big exam he has everything 100% prepared to congratulate him/cheer him up depending on how it went

lgbtrucy: hes a really good bf but only like…..secretly. he has to keep up his Insanely Cool Jared Kleinman appearance

physical affection is where he hesitates tho hes v awkward with holding hands/kissing/cuddling. elliot has to initiate all of it

thisiswhatmylifeamountsto: Elliot so called him that once to make fun of him but it’s stuck now and they can’t get Jared to stop coming into a room announcing himself as the INSANELY COOL JARED KLEINMAN

Elliot felt awkward about it first because he wasn’t sure whether Jared was comfortable with it and he didn’t want to make Jared feel bad But then they have a long, way-overdue talk and work out how things are gonna work

lgbtrucy: its not from a lack of interest that jared doesnt initiate it he just. where do u put ur hands. is it weird to just kiss ur bf randomly. fuck evan was right hands DO get sweaty abd [panic alarm] but as soon as elliot touches him hes like “nice” and is totally into it

thisiswhatmylifeamountsto: OK honestly I’m so sad that Elliot doesn’t exist he’s literally Jared’s ideal boyfriend this is such a travesty

lgbtrucy: make elliot famous

THE ELLIOT PROJECT

except its me posting at 2 am about how much i love him

#long post /#holy fuck #deh #dear evan hansen #jared kleinman #elliot cho #PLEASE LOVE ELLIOT CHO IM LOVE HIM SM #kleincho #ocs

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