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#funny human teeth man
aceyanaheim · 2 years
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it’s baked into my understanding of kakashi hatake that he has absolutely no clue how children work and thats just part of team 7s dysfunction listen.
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sophfandoms53 · 2 years
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IM FUCKING DYING RN HOW IS THIS THE SAME CHARACTER WHAT
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toestalucia · 1 year
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forgot to post the estarriola dialogue i liked aaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAA tmrw.........anyway soon to be 10 evoker owner <-person who couldve gotten them way earlier but doesnt read
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blondedmuse · 4 months
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MISERY BUSINESS
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felix catton x reader
synopsis. ꩜ based off of this request.
author’s note. ∿ i need this man so bad it’s not even funny. smut (fingering, oral f receiving, fingering, unprotected vaginal sex, praise, marking, voyeurism I guess idk) it's been a while since I wrote something on this account and its not proofread so be nice, also a bit of a rushed ending??
word count. ⨾ 2.7k
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The harsh thud of the car door closing awoke you from your mid-day reverie by the lake. The sun was beaming down on you almost bare body, only covered by a bikini. It was hotter than usual and everyone else at saltburn seemed to share your complaints. The heat aside the weather was pleasant—Felix on the other hand looked less than.
He looked annoyed, almost upset, even from far away. When he exited the car Oliver and Felix went their separate ways, Oliver looking just as unhappy. You wondered what happened in just few hours that could’ve soured their moods but it was only a few moments later when Felix approached you, grinning in attempt to hide the scowl he was dressed in minutes earlier.
Once he reached your figure he towered over your body as you laid on the dock. Having well acknowledge the heat now and your lack of clothing he discarded his shirt and quickly lowered his frame over yours so that his was barely hovering over yours.
“What’s wrong?” You asked.
He shook his head with a small grin. “nothing.”
You scoffed. “Liar.” He raised his brows.
“What’s wrong?” You prodded again. He dropped his head in hesitation, his lip between his teeth as he contemplated telling you what happened on his and Oliver’s road trip, what he felt, what the truth was—but he couldn’t. Not yet anyways.
He looked up at you. “I- Oliver just said something and it hurt me more than I thought it would.”
You sat up, the two of you adjusting your bodies as you did so. You stared intently at his face, watching how his eyes glossed over and how he could barely hold your gaze. It was a different demeanor than what other people knew, one of the more human parts that made people fall in love with him.
You lifted his face towards yours. “I’m sorry.” The silence that followed after your statement determined he wasn’t interested in sharing anything deeper than the surface of the matter.
He looked back at Saltburn then back at you. “Don’t be.”
You scrunched your brows. “Hm?”
“I don’t know,” He said earnestly. “It’s not your fault, I should’ve listened to you earlier. You kept saying you had a bad feeling about him and I didn’t really take it to heart…til’ now I guess.”
“Oh, Felix,” You sighed, cupping his face, your hand over his jaw subliminally believing that it would release the tension he held there.
“He’s out tomorrow.” His hand caressed yours as it rested on his cheek.
“Really?”
“Really.” He confirmed. “Maybe now I can get you, alone, yeah?” His body pushed yours back down on the doc so he was hovering over you once again.
"Felix," You laughed. "Always distracting me, aren't you."
"No 'm not," he mumbled, nipping at your earlobe. "You weren't doing anything important anyways."
"I was going to ask another question," You giggled.
"Okay," He answered, pushing himself so that he kneeled above you, a knee on either side of your torso. "What?"
When he was playful like this he was such a beautiful sight in front of you, you almost felt bad asking him a question as if you were ruining the mood.
"You're not really kicking him out are you? I feel bad."
He sighed. "I am kicking him out and you shouldn't feel bad, he’s in the business of misery it’s almost like his job to make people feel bad." He crawled back over you once again, something heavier within him now. You could see it in the way he clenched his jaw, his clouded eyes. His mouth made its way back to your body, this time trailing down your stomach, beginning to leave marks you knew you’d have to hide at the party tonight.
“Felix,” You frowned. “I just-”
He cut you off. “Enough, alright. He was a creep anyways, you said it yourself,” He told you and you nodded, internally agreeing.
“He’s going home after the party.”
The feel of his voice as he mumbled into your skin was enough for you to stop thinking about the situation for the moment. It wasn’t until nightfall you were reminded of Oliver's unrelenting presence—it was his birthday after all. Still, no matter where you were in Saltburn, you couldn't help but feel a pair of eyes upon you, you couldn’t help but feel that you were never alone.
"Can we go somewhere a little more private?" You asked Felix and he hardly registered the question. His hands up your dress the lights were dim, colored strobe lights bleeding in from the outside. The room was close to empty but the music could be heard throughout the house. You could ask him anything to anyone and it wouldn’t really mean anything—and it didn't help that the two of you were getting dizzy on champagne.
So, you didn't ask you question again but your eyes flickered to the maze that could be seen from the window and he understood what you wanted.
"Whatever you want, angel." He grinned, pulling his hands away to grab yours, taking you to the garden.
You scrunched your brows together. "I should be calling you that y'know."
He laughed with you. "You have wings too."
"But I'm a fairy"
"Close enough." You laughed to yourself as you and Felix walked through the house and towards the maze. There was a bottle of champagne in your left, Felix’s hand in your right, grounding you with each step. The more the time passed the less ideal it felt to walk in heels—you thought of ditching them all together. Still, they held the integrity of your costume, matching the chosen Midsummer Night's Dream theme. You'd dressed up as a fairy, donning flowers in your hair and a frilly slip dress, the costume obviously incomplete without wings.
Your heels pierced through the dirt once you’d made it to the grass, your feet sinking slightly with each step. You groaned to yourself, not going unnoticed by Felix.
“You okay?” He asked, stopping to turn to you.
“My heels,” You answered.
He furrowed his brows. “What about them?”
“Well…” You hesitated. “They’re killing my feet and they keep sinking into the dirt. They’re gonna get dirty.”
“We’ll we can’t have that know can we,” Felix replied, picking you in on fell swoop, your body now in his arms, your legs dangling from his grasp.
"Felix," You giggled his named through broken laughs, surprised with the immediacy of his action.
"What? You know I'd do anything for my best girl," He told you, returning the wide lipped smile on your face.
"I didn't ask you anything."
"You didn't have to."
You went limp in his arms as you sighed, comparable to an act of defiance as if you were annoyed, as if he did something wrong; but you knew he couldn't if he tried. He shook his head but the smirk on his lips was undeniable as he carried you the rest of the way to the center of the maze.
"You're insufferable, won't even let me carry you," He carped, putting you down and letting you lean against the cold metal of the statue as you put the bottle of champagne on the ground beside you.
"I did and you love me," You retorted, inching your face towards his, leaving a sliver of space between your lips. The bronze on your back that chilled your skin was a stark contrast to the heat radiating from Felix's body, from the warmth of the air around you. It was intoxicating, his breath on your skin and the breeze of the wind. Looking up at him you could see that carnal glimmer in his eyes when his hands roamed your body only moments earlier, and this morning on the dock. It was something you craved and that was something he knew and savored the fact.
"Well I can't deny that," He smirked before closing the gap between the two of you. You could feel the indent of his grin as he kissed you, his lips turned up into a wicked smile, something more depraved, but still, nonetheless, Felix.
"Why don't I finished what I started earlier, love?" He asked against you not bothering to pull away and you only moaned in approval. His lips traveled from yours to the lobe of your ear so he knew you could hear him clearly.
"You need to use your words, darling."
"Yes," You keened, wanting—needing more than what was being given.
"Good girl," He hummed, his hands drawing down the straps of your dress before they traced down the rest of your body all the way to your thighs. He hooked his hands under them, lifting you to sit on the base of the statue.
"This okay?" He asked, looking into your eyes for conformation, the raise of his eyebrows encouraging it verbally as well.
"Yeah," You sighed breathelessly. "But I still need you."
He smirked again. "Let me fix that then."
Felix's hands gently lowered the front of your dress, exposing your breasts and taking one of them into his mouth, moaning around it.
"You're beautiful, darling" He mumbled, groaning as his tongue slid over your hard nipple. His words were genuine but you couldn't help but feel a little cheesy, kicking your foot playfully at his leg and you felt his erection, hard as you did so.
"And you know that already," He chuckled, sucking your nipple more aggressively. "But it's true." His words made you ache with impatience, whine with desire. Felix pulled back before lowering himself to his knees, his eyes not daring to leave yours. Only when he licked an agonizingly slow, sloppy stripe against your clothed cunt his eyes focused on the sight in front of him.
You breath hitched in anticipation as he pulled down your panties with his teeth and taking them off, shooting you a wink as he pocketed them. Immediately after his gaze moved back to your wet pussy, wasting no time in tasting you.
He dropped his head and his tongue slithered to your clit, flicking the pearl a few times before wrapping his lips around it. Your core was hot against his face, your scent, heady and electrifying; he could spend hours between your legs. Your hand went to claw at his hair, your fingers entangling with his brown locks.
"Ri-Right there," You breathed, attempting your best to string a coherent thought together, but it was hard when one of his hands massaged the outside of your thigh while the other came up to your empty hand. Your fingers interlocking, his thumb kneading the side of your palm as he sucked harder at your clit. You squeezed it as you released strangled moans, strained from the attempt to stay quiet.
"You can be louder, love. No one else is going to hear you except me." You didn't believe him, swearing you heard something in the bushes move along with the fact that there was a full blown party happening in his house right now; but you couldn't help yourself either.
He slipped two fingers into you, eliciting a lewd moan with ease. Your legs pressed together and he almost felt suffocated at the momentary feeling of being entirely enveloped by you—but it was exactly what he wanted.
"Oh God, Felix," You fingers digging deeper into his scalp and he groaned.
His movements were mindless and uncalculated, but they had you reeling each time. He knew your body like a book, where to touch to have your head spinning. The longer he spent between you legs, the louder your moans got, your hips helplessly bucking up to meet his fingers and mouth.
"Atta' girl," he murmured against you core. "Cum for me, love, I can feel you squeezing me."
Your movements got sloppier, raunchier, as your orgasm approached swiftly. It struck you like a bolt of lightning, your body overtaken with rapture and relief. Felix watched as you come down from your high, his fingers still working you over.
"You did so well f'me," He coaxed, finally removing his fingers from your core and scaling up your body, his moving to cling to yours and swallowing any soft moans you had left.
"Need you," You whispered as his lips nipped at yours.
"Need me or my cock?" He chuckled, drunk on you.
"You know what I mean," You replied, hands already to undo the buckle of his belt.
He stopped you before you could go any further. "I know, I just want to hear you say it, darling."
You rolled your eyes in annoyance, the smile on your lips indicating otherwise. His brows darted up, goading you on.
"Please?" He pressed and you exhaled in pleasure, in desire.
"Need you inside me, Felix." The corners of his mouth turned up into that smug smirk you've known for so long and he nodded in thanks.
"As you wish, my love."
He was rock hard, heavy and hot in your hands, precum dripping from his tip. You were just as wet and desperate as he reached down as he lined himself up with your entrance, sheathing himself inside you without another moment of hesitation. His arms caged your body under him as he hissed at the feeling. He gave you a a moment, letting you adjust to his size, his cock completely filling you up as he was buried deep inside of you.
"You're so tight," He praised as he kissed you, moaning into your mouth as he began to move. The pace of his hips started slow, gently rolling into yours, your clit brushing up into his pelvic bone at just the right angle. Felix tuned into how your moans falter when he hit just right spot, the sensation going straight to your core.
"Feels so good," You keened as you wrapped your arms around his neck, bringing him closer to you.
"Yeah? Tell me about it," He asked as he increased his pace, the speed of his pounding becoming relentless, evoking obscene noises from you. You wrapped your legs around his torso, heels digging into his back as you gave him the perfect angle to go even deeper as his cock hit your g-spot repeatedly.
You were sure your nails were going to leave a mark as they clawed into his shoulders while his hand slowly travelled to your core, rubbing fast circles on your swollen clit to help you reach your climax. You clenched around him in a manner so desperate, cunt fluttering around his cock. You didn’t have time to tell him you were cumming, screaming and sobbing as ecstasy hit you like a brick wall. You arched your back as his name fell from your lips again and again like a hopeless prayer. He followed suit seconds later, soaked with you as buried his head into the crook of your neck. He came with a strident cry as he bottomed out, filling you to the brim. You went limp under him as he panted weakly with his voice hoarse in your ear.
Still hazy from your climax your eyes widened as you saw Oliver walk into the maze. Felix didn't hear him, but he took note of your expression.
"What? Are you okay? What's-"
You interrupted him. "Oliver." Felix's head whipped around to the man standing behind him.
"Jesus fucking Christ!" Felix exclaimed and you pulled your legs from his torso and fixed your dress. Felix pulled up his trousers, buckling up his belt before fully turning to face Oliver.
"What are you doing here, mate? I mean, really?" You didn't say anything, composing yourself as Felix stood in front of you. Oliver opened his mouth to speak but Felix cut him off before he could explain himself.
"Actually I don't wanna fucking know, I've seen enough." He sighed and looked back to check on you.
“I think you should go,” You said to Oliver. “Before you do anything more to embarrass yourself.” The words were harsh as they came out of your mouth but you didn’t know what else to say. You watched as he walked away with his shoulders slumped, no doubt some guilt weighing them down.
“Are you alright?” Felix asked you, turning back around. You nodded still processing what had just happened as it seemed the champagne had worn off a while ago. You grabbed the bottle off the ground and held it up, offering it to Felix with a smile he didn't hesitate to reciprocate back.
"To Oliver's fucking party!" You laughed confused as ever, taking a swig of the bottle before he grabbed it from you.
"To Oliver's stupid fucking party."
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monster-disaster · 5 months
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[wolf-shifter] Rome
wolf-shifter!Rome x human!Reader Good to know: somnophilia, non-con, breeding, rut Summary: Your best friend can't keep himself away from you anymore.
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"Did I wake you up?" Your words are slurred when you break the silence of the quiet flat. The only sound is the traffic from the streets, filtering inside. A few cars pass by every now and again. Their engine rumbles through the air, echoing off the buildings. Your back is against the wall as your best friend kneels in front of you, trying to take off your shoes with a slight frown between his brows. His thick fingers can barely handle the delicate clasps. "It's fine," he hums, pushing the shoes aside. "I told you to call me if you need me." "Thank you," you reply, tilting your head back when he stands up and towers above you. "You are a good friend, Rome. I love you." The man just smirks at your words, tucking you against his side to lead you into his room. He knows the drill by now. You go out with your co-workers, drink more than you can handle, and call him to take you home. He helps you, of course, while listening to you repeat how much you love him until you fall asleep.
"I love you too, sweetheart," he replies, opening the door of his room and leading you inside until you sit on the edge of his bed. Your posture is relaxed and tired. You don't even move a muscle when you feel him starting to take off your clothes. "Arms up," he says, and when you do, he pulls up your top until it's on a chair nearby. It smells like your perfume, smoke, and alcohol. "Do you want a shower?" Rome asks even though he already knows your answer. "'m tired," you hum, letting your eyes close while you are still in a sitting position. "Of course," the man chuckles. While he searches for a shirt you can sleep in, he can't help but let his eyes wander on your almost bare body. Your tits fill the bra into a nice cleavage, and your panties match. "Hold up your arms for a second, sweetheart," he says quietly, feeling a bit annoyed when the thin fabric hides your body from his dark gaze. "You can lay down now," he adds, helping you onto his bed and tucking you in. By the time he straightens up, you are already asleep.
Rome has known you since he moved into the city. You met at a coffee shop where you worked after college. He knew you were his mate after a glance and a sniff in the air heavy with the scent of coffee and you. You put him into a friend zone, and Rome never figured out how to get out of it without ruining your friendship. So he stayed in that damn zone, hoping that one day you will confess his love for him or he will grow some balls to tell you the truth. Pathetic really.
After making sure the lock of his entrance door is closed and putting a big glass of water next to you on the nightstand, he climbs onto the bed, trying to focus on anything else but your closeness. His brothers would laugh at him for sure. Their little brother can't get the girl, so he has to wake up next to her with blue balls. How funny.
Sleep takes him after a while, but his dreams are heavy and troubled. When he wakes up, it's almost morning. The sun is still hiding behind the horizon, but it's there. He turns on his back and groans. His gums ache and burns, his mouth open to lift the pressure off his teeth. Sweat glistens on his heated body. His fingers dig into the mattress under him, feeling his claws wanting to grow out. And his cock. He closes his eyes tightly to keep a pained moan in his chest. It's hard and heavy between his thighs. His erection pulses with each breath he takes, and his underwear is already ruined by the precum soaking the black fabric.
"Fuck," he grunts, sitting up on the edge of the bed. The wooden ground feels cold under him. His skin feels too tight and too itchy. Rome circles his broad shoulders backward a few times before standing up to get to the kitchen for some water.
The man is almost at the door of his room when you turn on your back on the bed, still sleeping. His eyes rake over your body under the covers. He forgot you were there. He was too busy with his wolf wanting to come out, he didn't even notice you until now. But now, he can't tear his gaze away from you. You are so peaceful and pretty. Your hair is a mess, and your makeup is smeared around your closed eyes. The red lipstick you used is faded.
"Fuck," Rome groans again. You shouldn't be here. Not when his rut is approaching and the wolf in him claws on the inside of his mind to get him out.
He should force himself to walk away and call an Uber for you. He should wake you up and make you leave. Or at least, he should force himself out of the room. You shouldn't be here so beautiful and soft while his cock throbs with the need to fill you up.
Rome stares at your chest for long seconds, watching you breathe. You are deep asleep. You always black out when you drink too much.
He steps closer.
His large hands curl into fists.
Another step to the bed.
He shouldn't.
"Fuck."
The change of his body comes naturally and quickly. His skeleton transforms into something more primal, with firm muscles and dark fur all over his skin. He grows taller and stronger. The ache in his body lessens, but his cock between his legs still bobs angrily with each step he takes to the bed to get closer to your sleeping form. His claws grip the blanket, pulling it down from the bed slowly and carefully. He drops it to the ground, keeping his eyes on your bare legs. His t-shirt barely hides your panties, and he can see your nipples harden at the sudden change of temperature.
For a second, his attention wanders up to your face. Your eyes are still closed, and your breath is even. The man climbs up on the bed. The mattress dips under his weight. He hovers above your sleeping form, almost frozen. You can wake up at any minute, and there is no way he can explain the situation without you freaking out.
But it's too little and too late.
Taking a deep breath, his hand moves to his aching cock, his long fingers curling around the thick shaft. A groan escapes his open mouth, his long tongue lick over his upper teeth. His eyes wander down on your body, pausing at your soft tits and hard nipples before falling to your covered mound. His grip tightens on his erection, precum leaking from the dark pink tip.
He saw you like this several times since you know each other. You are comfortable showing some skin even though it drives him crazy under the surface.
Releasing his cock, he reaches out for you. His touch is gentle and warm on your knees, gliding up on the soft flesh of your thigh. When you open your legs, he almost jumps back and out of the bed. Rome snaps his eyes up to your face again. You are still asleep.
It's so wrong on so many levels.
Now, that your legs are open, he can see the slit of your pussy through the thin fabric. Drool drips down from his mouth at the plump sight.
Maybe it's enough, he tries to say to himself. Just jerking off on the view of your cunt is enough until you wake up and go home.
His hand is on you again, caressing your thigh before sliding up to your panties. It's soft under his touch but does nothing but annoy him. His thumb moves between your legs, feeling the heat of your pussy on his own skin. His heart beats in his throat as he watches. Your clit is under his thumb, drawing small circles on the bud.
Rome doesn't have to wait long to feel your arousal in the air. It's thick and heavy, making him and his cock drool some more. "Fuck!" He groans. His snout fidgets as he takes deep breaths from your scent. "You smell so good."
He moves closer, slowly, tentatively. He lifts his weight onto his arms at the sides of your body. His eyes are on your face again, watching you sleep while his nose almost bumps against your mound. A low groan rumbles in his chest. You are so close. So delicious. His tongue rolls out of his mouth, licking through your center over the fabric covering it. You are wet. He licks over your slit until your panties are soaked with your juices and his saliva. It sticks to your plump pussy.
"Let's take it down," he hums, hooking his long fingers on the side of your panties to pull it down and reveal your most intimate part. Your cunt glistens under the street lights that filter into his bedroom through the window.
The wolf-shifter's world spins around him once, twice, three times as he leans closer again. His snout rubs against your clit, taking deep breaths of your heavy smell. "So pretty," he murmurs. "You have such a pretty pussy, sweetheart." Almost bursting with anticipation, he slides his tongue between your folds, lapping up your juices. When he flicks your clit, you moan into the dark room, making him freeze for long seconds. Your smell gets stronger in the air, but you don't move. "Just a little bit more," he whispers, almost begging. He slurps on your pussy hurriedly, trying to suffocate himself in your cunt. His tongue finds your entrance, pushing inside your hot channel. He can feel you fluttering around his tongue, sucking him in for more. His whole body trembles as his muscles tense. Every nerve in his body is focused on you. Your smell and taste drive him deeper and deeper to the point he can't back away.
His cock hangs heavy between his thighs, leaking. His balls feel too tight, and his hips start to rock back and forth every now and again to find some friction. The knot at the base of his shaft grows with each second he spends between your thighs, munching on your cunt.
Biting off his own claw, he turns his attention back to your empty hole. His tongue slides into you easily, pulsing and fluttering until he adds his finger to stretch you out some more. For a second, you tense up, moaning again before continuing to sleep. He almost laughs. He could fuck you. You wouldn't wake up.
He almost cums when you clench around him. He scoops up your nectar with his tongue, gulping to burn the memory of your taste in his mind. Your breathing gets heavier, and a small, barely noticeable tremble runs through your body as you reach your climax. With his free hand, Rome has to squeeze his cock to stop him from shooting his seed all over you and the bed.
"Fuck, sweetheart," he groans, keeping his fingers in you, feeling your still squeezing walls. "Can you do that again? Could you cum on my cock, hm? Are you ready for it?"
He climbs above you, pushing your legs apart to have enough space for his slim waist between your thighs. His erection rubs against your folds, mixing his pre-cum and your juices together. "God," he groans. "Fuck! So good, sweetheart. Your cunt is so warm. She wants me, love. She wants my cock inside. You know it, too." Grabbing his erection, he adjusts the bulbous tip to your entrance before starting to push inside. He growls at the feeling of you enveloping him. You are warm and wet and perfect. His balls jerk and his knot pulses. "That's it," he groans. "You are doing so good, sweetheart."
"Rome?" Your voice feels like cold water. His name on your lips is thick with sleep and confusion. "What? What are you doing?" Your question ends in a moan when he doesn't stop. He pushes his cock inside you entirely, stretching you out and filling you up. "Shh, sweetheart," he grunts. "It's okay." "Rome?" Panic laces your voice. "Rome! Stop!" "I can't," Rome replies, shaking his head, licking up on the side of your neck. Your palms seem small on his broad chest as you try to push him away while he still rocking back and forth inside you. "Enough! Rome!" "Sh," he tries to calm you again. "It's okay, love. Your pussy wants it." "What? No! It's wrong!" "No!" He growls. "It's not! I should have made you mine a long time ago!" Despite your panic and anger, a moan escapes your lips when he thrusts inside you. Your pussy clenches around his shaft, soaking his erection. Rome reaches every sweet spot in you, driving you higher and higher. "So good, sweetheart," he coos. "You feel it too, right? My cock stretches your tiny pussy. You squeeze on me so tight, I can barely move." "Rome!" You moan his name, your fingers dig into the hard muscles of his shoulder. Your legs curl around his waist to keep him close. Pleasure flares through your body even though you know it's wrong. "And you taste so good, love," he grunst into your neck. Your skin is wet from his drooling. "I ate your pussy while you slept," he admits. "I drank up your juices. You got wet so easily. Your pussy knew it was me." They shouldn't, but his words fuel you more. Your hips move under him, meeting his thrust as your back arches from the bed. "Rome! Please! Fuck!"
Seeing you so responsive wakes up something primal inside him. He almost shouts with pain when he forces himself to kneel up and leave your warm channel. "Turn around," he says but doesn't wait for your reaction. Grabbing your hips, he turns you on your stomach, tugging you into a kneeling position. Your ass rubs against his cock while he hovers above you and pushes your head down on the bed. "Present yourself for me, sweetheart," he groans, rutting against your bottom. "Show me how much you want my cock like a good bitch." "Rome," you cry his name, screaming when he enters into your pussy again. His hold is firm and hard on your hips as he keeps you in place against his pounding. He fucks your pussy with a newfound vigor. Your juices flow down on your thighs, dripping onto the bed. "Fuck!" Rome groans. "Your pussy is so good to me, sweetheart. She knows what she wants, and it's my cock. She wants me to fill her up and soak her with my seed." His words clear your mind for a second. Your fingers grip onto the blanket under you. "Wait! Rome! Don't! I don't…!" "It's okay, love," Rome groans, still fucking you. "You don't have to worry. I will take care of you and our pup. I will fuck your cunt until you are round with my child. I want to see your tits grow with milk and your stomach with our pup. Maybe I will always keep you pregnant and ripe." Tears run down your cheek from pleasure and fear. Your body and your mind tell different things, and you can do nothing because of the spinning world around you. Your walls flutter around his cock, your stomach tightens into a burning coil. "Take my knot, love," he demands. "Let me fuck my mate pregnant. Let me have this, love. Just open up your pussy for me, and I will do the rest." There is no way you can fight against him. His hold on you is too strong and tight, while your limbs feel like jelly.
Rome's whole world narrows down on your sweet hole as he forces his knot inside your wet pussy. Every nerve in his body bursts with pleasure when he is inside you fully, and he can't move without tugging and pushing you with the rhythm of his hips pounding your hole. His growl shakes the walls as he cums inside you. He shoots into your hole several times until, even through the barrier of his knot, some still escapes your pussy.
"Ohgod!" You cry, shaking and jerking. Your eyes roll back into your skull as you reach your climax. You suck Rome for every drop of his cum he can give you. Your pussy aches and burns so deliciously that you can do nothing, but rock back against him for more. His chuckle is hoarse next to your ears when he notices what you are doing.
"It's 'kay, love," he hums, still keeping his weight on his arms. "My rut will keep me going for a while longer before I'm done with you." "What?" You gasp. "We are not done?" "Didn't you hear me?" He hums, pushing inside you. "I won't stop until you are with my pup."
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absolutely-esme · 3 months
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What do you mean he's not eldritch?
What if all of the members of the Bat Family other than Tim Drake were secretly eldritch abominations?
They all work very hard at pretending to be human, and they've even gotten pretty good at passing. They can even mostly avoid the uncanny valley when in their civilian identities. There was a heck of a learning curve, but they've gotten things figured out for the most part.
Enter: Tim Drake
Weird, poorly socialized, probably autistic Tim Drake
The Bats think they've encountered a fellow eldritch being in disguise, and one that seems like he could use some help blending in. Naturally, they're quick to welcome him into their fold. Jason is delighted to take his turn at being a big brother mentor.
It takes a comedically long time for anyone to realize something's up because there is an absurd amount of overlap between stuff you need to know for masking and stuff you need to know to pass as human.
Meanwhile, Tim is amazed that the Bats have apparently decided he's cool enough to hang out with. It's like something out of his daydreams. They even have good advice for him on problems he hadn't known how to ask about. They are so patient and understanding about it, too. They never get annoyed with him for not already knowing. They also seem to be okay with the bits of weirdness he can't change.
Just weird kid Tim getting bundled into an incredibly helpful and supportive found family of eldritch entities. They're all going to get a good grade in human-ing, something that is both normal to want and possible to achieve.
...
I imagine the Bats are various different kinds of eldritch abominations because they're still adopted. They look wildly different when not in human form.
Bruce is a mass of... shadows? Smoke? Something dark and formless that shifts and flows in different ways depending on his mood.
Dick kind of looks like a pile of owls that is also somehow a single body.
Barbara is a spiral galaxy with stars that are also eyes somehow?
Jason is a solid-looking mass of muscle with six strong legs, a thick coat of shaggy hair, a mouth that opens much further along his body than it seems like it should, and even more teeth than you'd expect a mouth that size to have.
Stephanie Brown is kind of like an incredibly dense storm system with purple glitter.
Cassandra is a silhouette through which undiscovered nebulae can be seen. What she is a silhouette of depends on her mood.
Tim, they have only ever seen in his meticulously well-crafted human form. He's really good at that part even if he needed some help with the behavioral bits.
Damian is half human. Talia saw a mass of living darkness trying really hard to pretend to be a man and decided she was into that.
...
Dick: So, eye contact is actually pretty simple once you have the formula figured out. You need to cycle between looking at the other person and looking at something else at the appropriate frequency. If you look at them too much it will come across as staring. If you look away for too long they'll think you're not paying attention to them. You'll need to experiment to figure out the appropriate frequency.
Tim: *frets*
Jason: You don't have to look straight at their eyes, just in the general direction of their face.
Tim: Oh! I can do that!
...
I think Eldritch Bruce having history with the league of assassins in a markedly less inentional way than Canon would be funny. Like, you'd think an encounter between an eldritch abomination and a cult would be deliberate on someone's part, but no.
Bruce was still young and unskilled at differentiating between normal and abnormal human behavior.
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gloxk · 6 months
Text
Think she grippin’ on my dick but that’s my gun baby~
(Eren Y.)
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A/n: Lil sum sum— srry fa neglecting yall. My schedule is so fuckkkkkeedd. But, I got sum more ‘plug’ eren comin up for my luvz. Anyway I hope yall enjoy this my luvz🫶🏽!
Synopsis: First link w Eren Yeager after not seeing him in a long time. ♥︎
Warning (s): Gun kink , dirty talk, Eren talking you through it, Mentions of drugs, riding an inanimate object, f/m, Uhm like reader calls him sir? Pet names, Needy s*x, Smut, ovi. girl yk the deal 17+ around here!
━━━━━━━♥︎━━━━━━━
You kicked your feet while biting your bottom lip, “Yeah, I know you miss me, baby.” You cheesed at his comments. Eren knew exactly what to say, his words were so sweet and slick. “Of course I miss you ren. When you gon come see me?” You heard his music blaring through his speakers. This boy really had you thinking about him every second of the day and night. “Whatchu mean? I’m outside right now ma.” You nearly took flight running down to the front door. It felt like time was nothing more than a mere interference with your speed. You swung your door open , your smile instantly dropped looking at your empty driveway “Fucking asshole, you lied.” He cackled as if you said something funny. “Nah I’m here.” He flicked his head lights grabbing your attention, you forgot his car was completely black. You didn’t understand why he would make his Hellcat so dark. Didn’t he want people to see it?
You smiled seeing him get out of his car, he looked so fucking fine in his Nike tech. To say you were nervous was an understatement, you were terrified. Knees nearly buckled as Eren approached the door. You gulped back your salvia, it felt like swallowing a golf ball. “Heyyy baby.” His lips met your cheek, it’s been so long since you saw Eren. His voice held a sweet tang and a long draw to it. His fragrance was a mix of Dior Sauvage and Backwoods. His eyes spoke for themselves; red and low. “Eren—are you high?” you pulled his face closer to yours. Examining his eyes—yeah, he was fucking hammered. “When am I not?” He flashed his pearly whites, you always wonder how he got his teeth so nice and white. If perfection was a human it had to be him, there was no visible flaw within that man. “You gonna smoke your brain away if you keep it up.” You closed the door and walked with him up to your bedroom. Eren looked at you with a soft expression, his eyes locked on to yours. “Aww, you care about me, baby? Fine, I guess I have no choice but to do as you wish.”He jokingly replied. Eren didn’t have many people who cared for him, so it was nice to know you were one of the very few.
Eren found himself in your bed once again, he nuzzled into your neck while a basic Netflix movie played. He wasn’t particularly interested in the movie, and you were aware of this. But he acted like he was excited to watch it. Your hands ran over his thigh grazing over his dick. Fingertips wrapping around it. “Damn Ren, you must be very happy to see me huh?” you giggle sinking into your bed lining. Eren's dark jade eyes met yours, the lower part of his face was covered by his hand. Unbeknownst to you, he had a new hand tattoo; a skeleton face—damn he looked fine. “That ain’t my dick, that’s my gun baby.” He laid on his back, his shirt slightly lifting revealing the weapon. You couldn’t resist wrapping your fingers around the handle of his gun; it was calling your name. You held it in your hand admiring the weapon, it alone held the power to remove a soul from this world.
“You like it?” he took the gun away from your grasp. He parted your thighs placing the cold metal against your cunt. “Yes sir.” You bit your lip at the sheer cold touching you. The hairs on your neck stood up, it was so dangerous, it turned you on. He slid your panties over letting the blistering cold metal meet your pussy. The gun started at a gentle pace, moving slowly against your clit. Erens lips occupied your neck; kissing and sucking it. His tongue lightly brushed over your collarbone, you felt his tongue piercing glide against your skin. You rutted hard against his gun trying to relieve the built-up pressure in your abdomen. You didn’t want his gun, you wanted him. You wanted him to fuck you silly until you could no longer comprehend your surroundings. “Fuucck, I need more ren, I need you.” The gun hastily left your thighs. “I need you too ma.” His mouth met his glock licking your slick off of it. Eren's lips pressed firmly together creating a ‘mmm’ sound. He got on top of you pressing his chest against yours. You felt his bulge through his sweatpants, his dick was begging to be left free. He pulled his sweat pants down, just below his crotch panel. Your fingertips slipped under his elastic waistband; tugging his boxers downwards. His dick pounced out, an angry red color washed over his tip. “Fuck, it’s been too long.” He stroked his dick letting the bead of pre cum coat his tip. Eren slid inside inch by inch, he grunted feeling your heat. “Damn baby, I ain’t fuck you good in a minute huh? You miss this dick?” You nodded quickly, yes—you missed everything about him. His hand wrapped around your mouth looking at his tattoo covering your face. It turned him on seeing it on you— whether his hand was around your throat, mouth, or ass. It always looked so perfect on you.
Eren tugged your shirt up watching your tits bounce as he pounded into you. You tried to push him away from overstimulating your cunt “Nah, This what you wanted right? Take this dick.” He grabbed your legs and threw them over his shoulder, he fucked you faster making you scream out. You could have sworn you put holes in the sheets because you were gripping them so tightly. You threw your head back clenching around Erens cock. Your body jolted at your release, finally letting go of that pressure you once had. “Ahh- fuck-“ you moaned while subtly grinding against his abdomen. His pace faltered, but not ending, Eren didn’t stop fucking you until he came all over your stomach. By then you were already on your third orgasm. He positioned himself beside you kissing your neck while tracing circles on your arm. “I know you love that shit.” He sighed, he was a fool for you as you were for him. He loved looking at your fucked out expression knowing he was the reason you looked like that.
“Mhm, I do, I really fucking do.” He grabbed his gun again setting it down on your chest, “That’s my favorite gun now, ima get your name carved in it.” That gun will forever be by his side from now on.
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4 my whores.
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jyoongim · 2 months
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Hiii
Alastor X human!reader where she is desperate to make a deal for fame and glory.
She tries to summon a demon, accidentally conjuring Alastor. Beside her feisty facade she’s quite innocent and naive. He’s intrigued by her and toys with her, like a prey,tricking her into him, she signs the deal. He’ll come back after 1yr to collect his pretty little prize…her body and soul. 🌶️🔥
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Title: A Price to Pay
part 2
You frowned at the check your boss had handed you.
Too little. You looked at your boss, a nervous smile on your lips as a laugh bubbled out of your throat ”haha this is half of what i should be getting. That’s funny, where's the rest? Am i getting that in cash or some?” Your boss laughed “HA! No thats what you’re getting for the week‘
Your eyes damn near popped out of your head.
 For the week?
This was your pay for the entire week?
Oh hell no!
You poked a finger into the mans chest “What?! The whole week? I’ve been singing my ass off in this shit hole for two weeks! Where are my commissions?” You were angry! 
He gave a low laugh as he pulled out a cigar ”You think just because you’re my best in this joint that I wasn’t gonna get the Final Cut? You better take it before i hand your ass nothing”
You sniffled as you wiped at your runny nose.
The yellow paper with EVICTION stared at you as you felt another wave of tear hit you.
Why? 
Why couldn’t you just make enough to stay afloat?
Why did you have to suffer?
Why didn’t fate grant you mercy?
You had been busting your ass for months trying to make enough money to just pay the damn pills.
You were the best singer on your side of town and that shit hole needed a singer almost every night and when big shots went there. The money wasn’t terrible, it beat standing out on the pier at night, waiting to be taken to gods know where.
You laughed dryly, you would gladly get pimped out if it meant that you could still afford food to eat.
Why was life so cruel?
You had worked so hard and it felt like it was all for nothing.
You could hear your momma in your head
”You wanna dream big? Then never let life beat you down. Take it by the balls and make your dream a reality”
The next thing you know, you found yourself pulling out your mother’s old grimoire and drawing symbols on your bedroom floor.
what the hell were you doing?
You used to scoff at your mother when she did spells. 
Because magic wasn’t real…right?
But it felt like you had no other option as you threw some herbs into the small fire pot.
Momma used to tell you about all types of things that were possible with a little magic. That you always had friends on the other side who could help if you knew what you doing.
And you indeed had no fucking clue.
But you were tired, angry, and desperate and wanted to do something about it.
This was your life!
You felt your body tingle as you chanted the incantation.
The room turned cold and the fire from the candles blew out. The building started to shake as you spoke the last verse and suddenly you were thrown back from an explosion in the middle of your pentagram.
You watched in terror as the floor glowed red and rising from the smoke was a very large demon.
You panicked as it began to stand, gulping at its full height.
Oh what did you just do?
—————————————————
Alastor blinked as he stood. Fanning the smoke away from his face, he grimaced once he saw the pentagram, candles, and herbs. Who dared? His ears perked at the sound of heavy breathing. He turned his head and red eyes caught sight of a mortal woman standing against the wall, eyes wide.
He took a step towards her, head tilting as she cowered away. He huffed as he got to the edge of the protection boundary. He gave her a smile, sharp teeth glistening with narrowed eyes 
“Hello my dear”
——————————————————————
You took in the tall demon that stood in your bedroom.
He was dressed like one of those fancy gents.
Red and black tailored suit with a cane.
You watched as he curled his lip when he saw your protection boundary. You felt your body freeze as his eyes met yours.
Red.
Glowing red. 
He was rather handsome looking for a demon. 
He reminded you of-
“Deer” you squeaked, causing Alastor to tilt his head, ears flicking.
oh come on! You can’t be scared of something that you’re in control of!
”Hello my dear” you heard him say. He stood on the cusp of the salt boundary giving you his full attention.
That smile of his was very uncanny.
You shivered.
You found your nerves and puffed your chest out
”Hello demon-sir”
”Alastor” you blinked at him “w-what?”
He never lost that smile “The names Alastor. Pleasure to meet you” you were at a lost for words.  Alastor took your silence to look around, your spellbook caught in his attention before he took you in.
You cleared your throat “I summoned-” “conjured” “You to um make a deal?” You said uncertain
Alastor smirked “oh reallly? And what makes you think Ill make a deal with a human like you?”
You frowned ”You don’t have a choice! I summoned YOU here you have to do what I ask!’
He laughed darkly “Oh my dear that isn’t how things work” he looked back at the salt ”lets chat”
You didn’t trust him, but he seemed friendly girl don’t do it
you inched close and with a sweep of your foot, dusted a bit of the salt to let him through.
Alastor stepped through and now you were being towered over.
Alastor took you in.
what a small thing you were. He was sure you had no idea what you were doing or dealing with.
But if it was deal you wanted, he will grant that.
”What do you want?”
You wrung your hands nervously as you spilled your sad excuse of a life and your far fetched dream.
You felt a surge of determination as you finished your little rant “That’s why I need a deal! I deserve to rise to the top! I’ve worked my ass off for years and nothing! Why-Why should I settle for this? My life deserved to be full of glamor and money! I deserve that right? Right! S-s-so what do you say”
Oh what an innocent thing you were.
Such a fire that had nowhere to burn.
Perfect 
Alastor feigned mulling it over, your face dropping as he walked away from you.
”A deal works both ways my dear”he started as he turned back to you “What will you give me in return?” His smile stretched across his face as his calm facade faded.
You gulped but you were not gonna back out “Ill give you anything j-just please I don’t care what I have to do!”
He was in front of you in a flash, making you take a step back nervously 
“Anything?” A clawed hand squished your cheeks hard as he leaned his face to yours
”prove it” he purred
You blinked.  How the hell were you suppose to do that?
Nothing in this world is free. Your momma taught you that and your warning bells were screaming.
His thumbs was running over your lips and you opened your mouth to suck it.
You could die right now. Was this worth it? To give up your dignity to a demon?
Alastor growled and in a swift motion, you were on your bedroom floor, heart thumping in your ears as you looked up at the demon on top of you.
Alastor’s free hand swiped down your body, tearing your clothes to shreds, leaving you naked.
You felt a soft heat curl in your stomach.
Alastor laughed darkly as he took in your naked form. His hand dipped down and thumbed at the small bundle of nerves, causing you to jolt.
Oh he was going to have fun with you
”One year.” He said as he dipped a finger into your tight heat.
You gasped around his finger.
”You’ll get your fame. You’ll have riches and power beyond your imagination. A top star. It’ll all be yours. But in one year you are mine. Your soul and body. Do we have a deal?” He was slowly fingering you, relishing in the softness your cunt offered as it squeezed around him.
Your body and soul in exchange for glory.
Did you still want this?
”yes” you whimpered
A green glow emitted around the two of you. Alastor eyes glowed and his antlers grew as he plucked his thumb from your mouth and slammed his lips onto yours as he rubbed your clit as he slammed his fingers into you.
”mmmhmm hmmm!’ You cried into his mouth as your orgasm hit you.
Your cunt clenched around him, creamy slick drowning his hand.
Your body buzzed as he retracted his fingers, watching in bliss as he licked your cum off his fingers.
”Oooh such a sweet cunt” He Purred at you as he scooped you up into his arms to lay you on your bed.
”Ill always keep close watch my dear, so don’t think you can back out of this” he said, you blinked sleepily as you felt the coldness of a necklace clasped around your neck.
“One year my dear”
Your world faded to black.
pt 2 coming soon..hehehe
@thewinchestah @catherine1206 @stygianoir @jellibean2018 @markster666 @strawberrypimp666 @3verlark @alastor-simp @alastorsaries @alastwhore666 @gojosaturos-wife @tojirights @polytheatrix @dennsfz @horrorartsworld @prosciuttosblog @yourdoorisunlocked @dievia3 @alastorsdarling @t0byisher3 @mneferta @purplecatsandhearts @alishii @okay-babe @danveration @absurd-ash @peachedtv @simphornies @fatnug @alastorsdear @alastwhore666 @stawberrypimpsimp @altruisticalastor @queenariesofnarnia @scaramoochiie @rradio-static @someonethatsnotimportantplshelp @squeekycheesecurd @squixythebee @catmunist @lbcreations-blog @coleisyn @bratty2bunny @v0xsw1fe @alstorloml @fizzled-phoenix @siiv3r @k1y0yo @yunimimii @wisteria-seal @kassa-stardust
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deadghosy · 2 months
Note
Hello ! I wanted to ask if you can write a Hazbin Hotel x male!reader that is like a raccon please ?
Ignore it if you don't want to write it !!
(Unconnected, but I really love your writing. You have a real talent for this)
Sure lol! I also wanted to make them have the animal spirit of a raccoon so here you go! 🦆💗
HAZBIN HOTEL X RACCOON! READER
prompt: a ex-thief wants redemption to see his family
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You stole shit..like lots of it to the point even your ex-teammates calls you a raccoon for your ability to steal like crazy. So when one of your teammates killed you because of they were jealous you got so much jewelry…. You fell into hell grumbling piss at seeing your ex teammate shoot you before you died.
You dusted off your outfit to fuckin' see you are a raccoon. (You can imagine reader to be a cubby raccoon or your body type 😘) but you gotta admit it fitted you as you looked to see an ad for a hotel that talks about redemption. You didn’t wanna stay in hell any longer as you smell the flames in your snout. So you go over to the hotel.
You stay at the hotel for months, getting the trust of the hotel staff as you live there. Charlie introduces herself in her dreams to you, making you feel at least as you should help her grow in her dreams of the hotel that she’s making out of this.
So you nod, accepting your be part of the exercises she does.
You either was given a red outfit just like Charlie and vaggie or just a black fit to match your mischievous personality. 
I can see reader literally just trying to wash their hand from the sink as Charlie pick them up and helps you wash your hands thinking you can’t change heights.
Lucifer picked you up because you’re the size of a raccoon so you kind of found it funny until you grow up in size as human size. Never in his life has Lucifer dropped a person so quick as you chuckled. 
“EW A RODENT” “EW A SHORT PERSON”
There was so much silence that the silence was loud as Lucifer gave you a “that’s not nice D:” face as you shrugged.
Raccoon! Reader and penguin! Reader would be cousins 😭
Like literally these two animal readers would be those cousins trying to get a sleepover by their moms.
Angel would probably set you up to steal from Valentino…I mean shit Italians stick together☝🏾
Niffty likes to groom you if you are in your raccoon size. Don’t run, you can’t out run Niffty and her cleaning tools ‼️
I can imagine you and sir Pentious being slight mutuals as you go through peoples trash bins and just collect metal for Pentious making Pentious give you something in return.
A cute headcannon is that you sometimes stick your tongue out when drinking something other than gulping it down.
Husk had gave you some water because you were dehydrated. And this man raised an eyebrow seeing you drink it like a cautious animal. Okay so maybe husk did pet you on your head as you were too busy drinking the water.
You are a slick bastard, you would literally pick pocket people without them even knowing it. Hell, you died with a talent because of this. But it’s sometimes hard to break bad habits.
I headcannon you bit a resident that tried to pickpocket off of you. You definitely gave them rabies with your sharp teeth as they started to spazz and pass out. Leaving you just standing there like. “Did I do that…😨”
I can see raccoon! Reader just being thrown by Angel when he wanted to catch some sinner who tried to take his drugs (pilot reference) and you got on the sinners head and fuck up their face🦆
It was definitely giving “PIKACHU, I CHOOSE YOU!” 😭
Okay so I gotta admit…I headcannon raccoon! Reader to have dug in the trash bins only to get scolded by Charlie as you had a banana peel on your head
I can see raccoon reader also having the personality of rigby, but more of a mature side to it a little. If you know what character I’m talking about hit me up 😘😍
As much as you seem playful and dumb at time, you’re really smart when you wanna be smart. You literally outsmarted Alastor at chess once which made alastor’s eyes widen at you.
I deadass headcannon raccoon! Reader to have like some kinda of accent. Probably Italian, but make it heavy and attractive. 😭🦆
But like if raccoon reader is Italian imagine the secret talks you and Angel do away from the others 😭😭 just two Italian boys planning world domination
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Alastor doesn’t have any options on you other than you just stealing his cane makes him pissed off.
You stole his cane for a talent show down stairs that Charlie made. You were doing comedy until this mf grabbed the scuff of your neck and forced you to give it back.😭
STOP CAUSE YOU PROBABLY GOT LOCKED IN A TRASH BIN ONCE AND IT TOOK THE WHOLE CREW TO FIND YOU IN 2 DAYS😭😭
“Ewww…welp found them Charlie!” Alastor said picking you up over his shoulder with a wide grin as he slides down the dump stash.
You are in charge of the lost and found section of the hotel as you just go in room and find shit. I mean you would love to keep them to yourself but Charlie and vaggie knew you would try to steal. So that’s why they made you in charge of lost and found.
You and Angel once went on a hot girl shopping spree..well actually Angel brought you along since you two bond very well. You two legit bought shades together while Angel dust went shopping with you behind him holding his bags.
I headcannon raccoon! Reader to have a locket of his mom in his pocket at all times because before going to bed they kiss the locket and wish their mom a good night.
Charlie learnt you liked being pet from your head to your back as it helps you sleep better. She squeaks at your rare cuteness as she hears you let out a few cute snores.
You stole from husk making him grumble looking for his wallet only to see you come back whistling holding a bunch of groceries.
“Let me guess, you stole my fuckin' wallet?” “Whattt me stole whooo?” You said with a smirk putting down the groceries for husk as he grumbles snatching his wallet from you.
Husk and you have a weird friendship dynamic. It’s like you two hate but like each other. So it’s basically frenemies
When the angel fell down and came to fight, what did you do? Bitch you stole their heaven bucks and dead angel’s weapons. If you can’t beat em, wait for them to die😍
Adam literally seen you stealing money from tel he angels and was going to kill you when he felt his pockets…HIS WALLET WAS GONE?! HOW TF DID YOU TAKE HIS WALLET?!
“THAT LITTLE THIEVING SHIT TOOK MY WALLET?!” “ BUT SIR! THAT IMPOSSIBLE?” “NO SHIT!” Adam retorts at lute as Adam grumbles seeing your figure run away
After Adam had died, you ran his pockets…😭 devious ass shit-
The hotel crew just gave you a shocked looked after you stole half of his possessions.
You and Angel dust literally just be chilling and mess with husk a lot 😭 so now husk got two Italians annoying him lmao
Sir Pentious doesn’t like you because of how you sometimes sneak into his room or lab and steal some of his stuff just so you can have a little stash of something to remember the good old days when you were alive.
Sooner or later, you had given Pentious his stuff back remembering your mom might be in heaven. You miss her cooking.
I imagine raccoon! Reader to be a mama’s boy🤨☝🏾
You’re so use to playing dead as a raccoon, as you literally played dead in front of husk and angel making them scared you actually died….yeah you told them it was a prank and they got mad to the point they locked you out of the hotel.
“GUYS! LET ME IN DAMNIT! IT WAS JUST A JOKE! FELLAS?!”
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evilminji · 8 months
Text
Okay... so it COULD be because, as a writer, I'm an ASSHOLE to my Characters...
BUT YOU KNOW WHAT'D BE FUNNY?
Danny, innocent, gets YEETED into DC. As ya do. And he's a bit messed up. But! He's a Baby Ancient in the making. Gonna be master of Spaaaaaace(~~~☆!) one day. Very exciting, only slightly relevant.
See, Ectoplasm? Dumb. That's why we need Cores and Brains etc. Never let Ectoplasm decide things. It WILL chose the "technically correct but now the buildings on fire" option EVERY SINGLE TIME. And you are running out of fire extinguishers.
Because it is dumb.
Very, VERY No Brain, Just Goo, Dumb.
And THIS Goo has a life to save. A Halfa too maintain in Peak Performance(tm). Because THIS Goo is VERY smart Goo(according only to itself) and TOTALLY knows what it's doing! Damaged meat bits? Oh that's EASY! You just FIX that! Replace with meat bits! See? It's BRILLIANT Goo. 10 out of 10 stars, me!
Small problem.
The instructions have been damaged.
PANIC.
Wait! No! We got this! We are Very Smart Goo(tm). And have Space Powers. This is FINE. We'll... we'll just FIX the instructions! Hand me a hammer! If we smash enough bits together, it'll sort? Of look right? Close ENOUGH? Yeeeeeah. We're GENIUS Goo~
Use THAT!
But where did they GET their ill begotten DNA? Well OBVIOUSLY the place all the OTHER DNA they had was stored, DUH? Keep up, says the Goo with literally no braincells making horrifying choices for an unconscious man. It's Earth.
As in... the planet.
It's not even HIS planet. It's AN Earth. A Planet CALLED "Earth" that dwells in the DC universe, not his, and is covered with ZERO(0) Fentons but plenty of superhumans and aliens. THAT planet.
The Goo grabbed the Very BESTEST Meat Instructions it could FIND! The Goo is also a collective and did not AGREE on what the "Best" WAS. But it's... okay, no, I can't lie to you, it is NOT fine.
But thankfully it IS stable.
Because Ectoplasm may be dumb and indiscriminate as super-bacteria with a flamethrower, but it is a MASTER at the jigsaw of Life. It can reanimate ANYTHING.
Including the now SINGLE MOST CHIMERAD MAN you've ever SEEN. Who is he related too? YES. His left knee is Kryptonian, the fingers on his right hand are Tameranian, his skin tone has shifted to the most ambiguously multi-ethnic tone imaginable (think that future of humanity mock up, where they combine every ethnicity on the premise that inter-racial marriage will becoming increasingly common up to the point where we all just kinda look averaged out thanks to the ease of travel) because it's trying to do all of them at once and none of them are willing to back down, because all of them got the instructions "Be Skin". He might have Slade Wilson's cheek bones and hair.
Danny wakes up and basicly is half Ectoplasmic Goo, half the extended Super Community.
AND CANT GET BACK HOME TO FIX IT.
Because of course this IS fixable. It's just medical shape-shifting. But without HIS template, undamaged. His body is REFUSING to change from what is OBVIOUSLY the CORRECT form. And he keeps getting clocked as "probably related to me".
With the Fenton Luck kicking in? The parts of him people manage to swab and/or get DNA from? Keep MATCHING them. Danny doesn't know WHO is behind this but-! *spots a giggle child with a cat* !!!!!!
You.
Klarion you little SHIT!
So now he's wearing a face that's BARELY his, running from very determined superhumans who want to parent him, trying to steal enough technology to build a portal. AND vowing to kick the witch boy's ASS.
This ISNT FUNNY, KLARION.
His body is Frankenstein's FEVER DREAM! Every time he gets hurt, it tries to "FIX" itself! He lost a chunk of his should back there and HIS ENTIRE BODY CHANGED SKIN TONES. He's pretty sure if he SITS funny, his teeth might fall out and regrow POINTY! He's handing you over to WALKER you horrible little gremlin child!
Just? Take the "Danny is related to X" and "Danny is sick" and turn them uuuuup. Make EVERYBODY concerned except Danny. This is just another fucked up adventure in a long string of fucked up adventures. Give him his DNA back. If he has to suffer the Fenton Luck then he should AT LEAST get to keep the Fenton "built like a tank"!
*gets hit again*
*is GREEN now for some reason* The fuck?
Garfield, aka Beast Boy: I HAVE A CLONE SON!?
Danny: Zone DAMN IT not another one!
@ailithnight @hdgnj @nerdpoe @the-witchhunter
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theminecraftbee · 2 months
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The thing in her cargo hold is looking at her again.
Really, Gem should have sold it by now. If the fishmonger had refused to take it--and really, it seems unlikely, Gem thinks, that the fishmonger would refuse to take it; he has taken and carved up and made meals of far stranger fish than one with a human face and hands and torso--she could have easily sold it to the man on the train, who takes exotic catches for his zoo. She could have even taken it to Grian; it's not a mending book, but it's the sort of thing he'd like to make fun of her for catching, instead of anything she's after.
Really, she should have. The longer she keeps the thing in her cargo hold, the more it starts to look properly human to her. She should know better. She has caught far stranger fish, and none of them have been human. It's another trick these seas have been playing on her, she thinks.
Long nights alone do that to a woman.
She ignores it. Instead, she opens the lid of the tank and starts depositing salmon. "It's a really weird request, that I keep them alive the whole time. You won't eat them, right?" Gem says, knowing the thing in her cargo hold can't answer. "Because if you eat them, this time, I really am going to sell you to the fishmonger. Or maybe I can figure out how to get fillets from you on my own? I've certainly eaten weirder fish..."
The thing in the cargo hold continues to stare. It has eyes that look like little moons, and brown hair, and it is smiling for some reason. Gem huffs.
"Don't give me that look! You are a fish. I am a fisherman. If mere human faces stopped me from doing my job, I would have gone mad a long time ago."
The thing in the cargo hold smiles wider. The lights flicker. Gem rolls her eyes and finishes putting salmon in the tank. As though to spite her, the thing in the cargo hold immediately lashes out, grabbing one in the claws on her otherwise-human hands and then tearing it apart with razor-sharp teeth. Blood rises on the water. Gem sighs.
"I have a harpoon in here somewhere, or at least a very sharp knife," she says to herself. She doesn't really want to use her nice knife, the one she always keeps on her belt, but she ought to have another knife around with which she can finish the job, right?
The lights flicker and go out. When she looks across at the tank, there are two silvery-moon eyes looking at her.
Gem pulls a wire. Gem turns the lights back on. She takes a deep breath.
"I really should have sold you by now, really. If the fishmonger won't take you, then the zookeeper would love you," Gem says.
The radio crackles. Gem startles. Very, very few people ever contact her on the shipboard radio, but if she's getting a signal, that's more important than a grudge match with a fish. She heads over to answer the call.
An amalgamation of voices responds:
YOU ARE FUNNY. I HAVE A MESSAGE. A DELIVERY. YOU'VE TRAPPED ME THOUGH.
Slowly, Gem turns around to the thing in the cargo hold.
"This won't stop me from treating you like a fish," she says. "If messages from the ocean stopped me--"
A terrible, crackling laugh sounds from the radio.
I AM THE MOON'S PEARL. YOU WILL NOT HOLD ME FOREVER. WE WILL SEE WHO EATS WHO.
Gem wags her finger. "We'll see, for sure, as long as you don't eat my salmon. That man in the fish-scaled suit was VERY insistent, you know."
TELL ME MORE.
"You're tying up my radio. What if there's another ship? What if there's something important?"
OH GEM. YOU KNOW THERE WON'T BE.
Gem swallows.
The thing in the cargo hold is staring at her.
"I need to sleep. I need to go to shore," she says.
YOU WON'T, the radio says.
She won't.
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sensivs · 4 months
Text
𝐩𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠 : ryomen sukuna x m! reader x mahoraga
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꒰ঌ ໒꒱ : mmmmmm yummy yummy mahoraga cock yummy in my tummy
˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ - dead dove do not eat: dub - con , mahoragas big juicy meaty cock , megkuna testing out divine general smth smth mahoraga before his and gojos fight , mentions of the reader being similar to sukuna (not being able to die unless his vessel dies) , MAJOR BELLY DISTORTION , mentions of blood and guts , gore basically but in written form , pushy sukuna , sukuna ‘s a cuck lmao , mindbreak
— this fic is mainly for my male audience, but fem readers r free to read as well <3
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“yuck , your new host makes you look emo” y/n spat out, cocking his hip to the side with his arms crossed along his chest. Such a comment made sukuna stop mid bite on his food, his eyes carefully scanned y/n’s body up and down, “and who might you be?”.
“quit the act sukuna you know it’s me” once again, sukuna eyed the man closely, trying to see any familiar features, but nothing clicked in his head. “I don’t know you, now run along brat I’ve got important business to take care of” sukuna scowled, he turned his attention back to his final finger, consuming it in one bite.
y/n gritted his teeth, “quit acting like you’re so high and mighty! you do remember me! so stop acting like you don’t!” Sukuna began to grow pissed, the whining coming from the mouth of this random started to press on all of sukuna’s buttons.
“look here brat, if another word comes out of your mouth im going to fucking—” the imaginary dots inside sukuna’s head slowly began to connect to one another, whiny.. rude.. insufferable.. could this possibly be..? “y/n?”
y/n smirked, “finally! some of your fried brain cells seem to be working” sukuna let out a chuckle, “oh my god, it’s been so long!” sukuna stood up from where he was previously sitting.
sukuna made his way towards y/n, his eyes solely focused upon his face. “my goodness, look at your glow up!” ryomen exclaimed “happily”, y/n’s eye twitched, “woww thanks a lot sukuna”. Ryomen saw how much his comment irked the man, which made the cocky smirk on his lips grow even larger.
“what’s new hm? i saw your wife cooking for you in the kitchen, her cooking smells really good” ryomen perked up, “wife? I don’t have a wife?” y/n giggled, “that’s what I thought! you’re not husband material at all, so how’d you get her hm?” sukuna grumbled, “well, she’s not my wife, she’s my chef.. or servant.. whatever she wants to call herself”
“ohh? the great sukuna letting a mere human choose what they are? the times are really changing aren’t they?” with that, y/n snickered at his own words. “not funny” sukuna said as he crossed his arms across his chest.
“so, you got any new.. hm.. techniques with this new body of yours?” Y/n ran his finger through the middle crevice of sukuna’s pecs while resting his other hand on sukuna’s shoulder. “matter of a fact, I did. ever since I took over megumi’s body, i’ve been able to gain the ten shadows technique”
sukuna gloated on the fact that he was smart enough to obtain such a cursed technique, “sounds fun, want to tell me what the ten shadows have to offer?” y/n traced over ryomen’s tattoos, taking in how soft they felt against such youthful skin.
sukuna hesitated, not because he didn’t wanted to talk about the ten shadows technique, but more because he thought he would look like a dork by talking about it. “Well.. there’s nue..”
y/n hummed as he listened to sukuna’s rambles, who knew such a malevolent and violent being such as ryomen sukuna would be such a nerd about a random cursed technique?
sukuna ended his ramble with mahoraga’s abilities, telling y/n about how mahoraga could adapt to 9 different attacks. but the man didn’t care, his focus was only on sukuna’s supple skin and how defined his body had become the last time he saw him.
“i’ve only really seen mahoraga’s abilities once, during shibuya, he surely was.. something” once sukuna had laid eyes on the divine general, he knew he had to have him. And gaining the power of mahoraga became his first mission.
“now that i have him, and since you’re here, i want to show him off to you” y/n gasped dramatically, “oh my! my dearest sukuna is showing off his precious mahoraga to me? what an honor!”
instead of being pissy at y/n’s sarcasm, sukuna just rolled his eyes and chuckled. ryomen ordered y/n to stand back a bit and to “feast his eyes on a once in a lifetime chance to see such a creature”.
“with this treasure i summon..” and just like that, a massive hand reached out from the hole summoned from the ground, then its ring appeared, along with its head and the rest of its torso. After his torso reveal, was its bottom half, two big pair of muscular legs made their way out of the large, dark ditch.
“holy shit.. he’s huge” y/n gawked at the size of mahoraga, he topped over him over a dozen times! “i know right? an absolute unit” sukuna walked over beside y/n, admiring such a sight, “you don’t say..”.
“do you really want to see how much of a unit he is?” sukuna’s lips curled up into a sinister grin, “how?! i can already tell how much of a tank this guy is!” y/n expressed great shock towards mahoraga, pointing out how muscular the being was.
“well, you haven’t seen all of him, yknow?” sukuna snaked his arms across y/n’s shoulders, bringing him closer, y/n turned his gaze to ryomen, “I don’t get what you’re hinting..” sukuna cocked a brow, “you suree?”
y/n shrugged his shoulders with a confused expression on his face, sukuna chuckled as he retrieved his arm back and began to walk towards mahoraga. sukuna pulled mahoraga’s cloth away from his crotch, revealing an inhumanly large cock, it was white down to the base but the tip was colored a pretty pink color.
y/n jumped, a pink flush covering his cheeks, “sukuna! how.. how big exactly is that thing?!” ryomen shrugged, “about a couple inches” y/n was at a lost for words, as the sheer size of the cock in front of him was astronomical. Sukuna pulled on y/n’s arm, dragging him close enough to where he was standing right in front of mahoraga’s cock.
“go on, touch it” sukuna purred into y/n’s ear, “what?! I-I—!” sukuna placed a finger on the man’s lips, “go ahead, I know you want to do it”. ryomen got y/n there, but it wasn’t his fault! with a cock that big, how could you not try to aspect it more precisely?
y/n gulped down his fear and reached out towards the shaft in front of him, the tips of his fingers graced along the base of mahoraga’s cock. It was surprisingly soft, a couple ridges caused by its pulsing veins littered here and there. “move down more would you?”
y/n followed sukuna’s command, almost as if he was under a spell, his fingers dragged along down towards the pretty pink tip mahoraga had. even with such a small touch, mahoraga’s cock twitched ever so slightly.
y/n caressed the tip, taking in how heavy it felt in his hand. If it was possible, the blush on y/n’s deepened, making his face a deeper shade of red. mahoraga’s tip leaked pre-cum, pearls of it dripped from its slit down to the ground.
“he seems to be getting excited, how about you help him with that?” sukuna’s steamy voice slithered into y/n’s ear canal, plaguing his thoughts. ryomen placed both of his hands on either side of y/n’s forearms, guiding him to put both of his hands on the base of mahoraga’s cock.
slowly, y/n jerked off the shaft in front of him with the help of sukuna. “good, you’re doing so well y/n” y/n shivered, ryomen’s praise always got him hot and bothered. “i’ll leave you to it, alright?” y/n let out a shakey and small hum as he felt the warmth of sukuna’s hands leave his forearms.
but, y/n still did what he was asked of, and that was to keep stroking mahoraga, who was now letting out animalistic breathes. As y/n continued to stroke mahoraga, he realized how big he had already gotten. The size of its cock was now way bigger than it was before and was glistening with smeared pre-cum.
“how about you take a taste as well?” sukuna laid his head on the shoulder of y/n, taking in the sweet musk that vaguely stuck onto his neck and collarbone. ryomen placed his hands over y/n’s, guiding them to cup the bottom of mahoraga’s tip and to lift it up enough to where the slit aligned perfectly with his mouth.
y/n hesitated, looking at the tip in front of him and then at sukuna’s shit-eating grin. “I don’t—” “think it’ll fit? don’t worry, you don’t have to take all of it inside” ryomen provided false hope to y/n, knowing he’d always take his word.
ryomen grew impatient with seconds passing by, “just take it in already” y/n whimpered, “but it’s gonna hur—!” sukuna scoffed, “since when has that ever mattered? I know hundreds of curses you’ve taken in, but it seems their size doesn’t matter now?”
y/n pouted, “but this is different!! this thing isn’t a curse! it’s a shikgami!! and there’s no way in taking him inside me in any way!” the man then tried to take a step back, but was stopped when he realized sukuna was not budging. “sukuna.. there’s no way im willingly going to take him inside me…”
ryomen’s frown deepened, “whatever” he took a step back from y/n. giving him enough space to not be uncomfortably pressed against mahoraga’s cock, “since your not willingly going to take him in, i guess im going to have to make you do it the hard way.”
as y/n’s mind was processing sukuna’s words, ryomen had already gave mahoraga the ‘go ahead’ to pick y/n up from where he stood. He squirmed and struggled against the shikgami’s large hands but it seemed nothing fazed it. “sukuna! tell your shikgami to let go of me!!”
puffy tears threatened to spill from y/n’s bottom eyelids as he watched for any possible expression other than smugness on sukuna’s face, but there was nothing. the tears began to flow as y/n realized what was next to come, and with a snap of a finger. y/n felt as if he was being split into two.
mahoraga’s tip probed at the entrance y/n’s puckered hole, “his tip seems a bit cold don’t you think? why don’t you let him inside so that he can warm up, hm?” sukuna snickered, finding himself humorous. “t-this isn’t funny ryomen!! please! tell him to—!” a sudden moan shoved its way out of y/n’s throat and into the air.
such a tip could easily rip a normal human into two, but y/n wasn’t no human, he had “borrowed” his vessel from a random high-school. his vessel was just some plain boy that was stupid enough to release y/n from the binding he had been cursed to.
y/n felt mahoraga’s tip force it’s way into his tight walls, begs and pleads of being released poured out of y/n’s mouth like a waterfall. but it seemed that sukuna was purposely ignoring his pleads just to get a rise out out of him.
y/n’s begs were then plagued by both loud and strained moans, drowning out the pleads that had no effect whatsoever. he wanted to hate how easily mahoraga’s tip touched his prostate, but he couldn’t bring himself to, as the feeling of pleasure was too overwhelming.
mahoraga continued to force himself inside, but y/n’s gummy walls were clamped shut around his tip. making mahoraga resort into one trick up his sleeve.
he pulled out the entirety of his tip from y/n’s hole, making him let out a submissive whimper. y/n thought that this was the end of his punishment, but he was far from right.. as mahoraga shoved his way back inside.
y/n felt both his stomach and liver touch each other, as if to give one another a kiss. his head flew back as he let out a gut wrenching scream, he sobbed out for sukuna, who was now rubbing himself to such a sight in front of him.
“p-pull out! nghh— pull out you monster!!” y/n screamed at the top of his lungs, trying to get the shikgami to react in any way, but there was nothing. none of y/n’s attempts had worked, could this possibly be the rest of his life?
y/n sobbed at the thought of being skewered on mahorgaga’s cock for the rest of his life like a shish kebab, “p-please.. let me go.. i can’t.. take—“ and once again, y/n was interrupted mid-sentence.
mahoraga had no time for y/n’s pleads, he was summoned only to breed and fuck and there was no way he would pass up such an opportunity for another hundred years of inactivity. his thrusts were harsh and brutal, mahoraga’s thighs slapped against the supple skin of y/n, there was no doubt that y/n would wake up the next day with bruises on his arms and thighs.
y/n felt as mahoraga’s cock painfully slid in and out of his hole, against his own thoughts, y/n looked down to see how much damage was being inflicted to his once untouched and youthful skin.
his eye twitched as he watched the outline of the massive cock thrust in and out of him, and for some reason, he found it extremely hot. what was happening to him? these weren’t his thoughts! this isn’t something he’d say in a million years!
could it be? that his mind was finally turning into nothing mush? could this be the punishment he deserved for being a slut? no, he didn’t want to become dependent on some shikgami’s cock just for pleasure!!
y/n felt as his brain melted into the walls of his skull, infusing with the hard bone that protected his once intelligent mind. “i-i.. I can’t.. no.. I don’t wanna.. I don’t wanna stay on this cock for any longer!”
it felt as if he was on a carousel that wouldn’t stop even if he begged the conductor to stop, his eyesight began to fuzz and he began to become dizzy. but through all of this, all his mind could think about was the cock thrusting inside him, and the fact that sukuna was watching him become a cock-sleeve to his shikgami.
y/n was then ripped out of his daze as he heard the disgusting sound of two wet items rubbing against one another, and then his torso became cold and numb. he looked down once again to see his insides outside of his body.
he let out a bloodcurdling scream as he watched his stomach smushed up against his liver, “oh, whoopsies! guess he went a little bit too hard, huh?” even though his friend’s intestines were out in the open, sukuna couldn’t help but chuckle.
“sukuna! i-it hurts! tell your shikgami to stop! please!” even though y/n knew his plead would be ignored once again, it wouldn’t hurt but try to get sukuna to help, right? “you’re doing fine! you’re still talking to me right? you can survive a couple more hours”.
y/n was about to yell at sukuna again, but he felt mahoraga begin to move again, mixing up his organs and misplacing them. his larger intestine was wrapped around mahoraga’s cock like a scarf and his smaller one was uncomfortably smushed against his stomach.
y/n hated the sight, but he couldn’t take his eyes off of mahoraga’s cock, who was still plowing through his insides even through the blood and pre-cum. he tried hanging onto consciousness for as long as he could, but he began to slip, and soon everything went black.
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910 notes · View notes
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time traveling ballpit: "into the pit." don't you fuckin tell me it wasn't time travel, they call it the "time-traveling ballpit" IN the ultimate guide that is a CANON descriptor
spring bonnie replaces some kid's dad in real life: "into the pit." we dont talk about that enough that's the REAL funny part of the short
plushtrap gets hit by a train: "out of stock." pretty self-explanatory. also had human eyes and teeth
funtime foxy taxi driver: "room for one more." it's the first nightmare this dude has and so you're not even expecting it and suddenly funtime foxy is just THERE
never explaining what the FUCK "the new kid" ending was about: if you've read it you know what i mean
springtrap mpreg: "in the flesh." i know the proper fandom term is matpat mpreg but the man's retiring let's cut him a little bit of slack
afton fuckin explodes: "the man in room 1280." i was noooot fucking expecting THAT
fazgoo: "he told me everything." i think the name speaks for itself
PUPPET FORKLIFT RAMMING INTO 15FT AGONY AFTON MECH: "the cliffs epilogue." why did nobody warn me about that one. everyone warned me about the mpreg and the ballpit and nobody about charlie being strapped to a forklift in the attempt to push the giant 15ft afton mech screaming "I AM AGONY" like an edgy teenager into a fucking lake to drown him. this one's my favorite personally. charlie forklift certified
9yo burns "just say no" onto drug dealer's forehead for kicks: "gumdrop angel epilogue." they set that shit up like jake was gonna kill the guy but instead he took the WAY funnier option
sea bonnies: "sea bonnies." sea bonnies.
michael in the bushes: "you're the band." michael loses animatronic freddy's possessed head and stalks the person who bought it, digs through her attic and hides in her bushes, and then follows her to a new house and hides in her bushes AGAIN. then when her kid is kidnapped he drives her down to freddy's in an awkwardly silent car ride, saves her kid from puppet tentacles, and explains nothing
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theblueflower05 · 10 months
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OH UR IN FOR IT NOW
thoughts: jake sully cockwarming human reader and she keeps squirming around to cum but he’s so much bigger that he can just hold her still while she whines and pouts
(also i know he’s so cocky and condescending with his dirty talk)
Oh oh oh. Fuck yes.
Listen. There is something so sexy about Avatar/Na’vi x Human smut. I don’t care. It’s going to get me going every time, I eat this shit UP.
@hinataashoyos kills this dynamic and if you want to read some absolutely delish Jake content- please give her blog a follow.
And I loveeeeee the idea of Jake and his little human fuck buddy.
Because like. You’re everything he’s attracted to- just his type. You’re petite with killer curves, a rack and ass to die for. The sweet florally perfume you wear makes him dizzy with want and the gloss you have perma swiped across your full lips sparkles in the fluorescent lights of the labs that you can usually be found in.
He eats girls like you up back on Earth. Even in his chair, he knew he was a panty dropper.
Smut under the cut
But you’re different. You’re sharp as a tack and come from a good family back on terra firme. Fancy college degrees under your belt, all paid for by mommy and daddy’s money. A social butterfly. Hell, he bets you’d been a sorority girl. Kappa Kappa Gamma, or some nonsense of that nature.
You’d never go for a disabled ex-military grunt like him- or so he’s convinced himself.
You work in close quarters with the rest of the Science lame brains, are close with Grace and Max.
Xeno-Cultural Anthropologist, he learns your title early one.
You’re here to help crack the code around the Navi- deeply fascinated by their rich culture. Diverse clans, and multilayered language. Besides Grace, you’re about the only RDA human let within 100 miles of Home Tree.
Your accolades and experience, at your young age, are stacked. All of these things should make you a stuck up priss-
And yet you’re not. Not at all.
The more he gets the know you, the worse his interest in you gets.
You’re funny, in a goofy way that doesn’t match your sharp vernacular. Your frequent jokes are vulgar and down right dumb.
And helpful, you never make him feel stupid the way the others do. You’re more then happy to sit down with him after a long day of him being linked out in the Jungle- you’re just about the only reason why he’s finally starting to grasp the language.
And so so sweet. You don’t make him feel useless or infantiled in his chair; you treat him like the capable grown man he is- but make him meals like you do all for all your friends. Help him with his laundry. Bring him electrolyte drinks when he’s half asleep doing his video logs.
A couple months in, and Jakes interest has spawned into a full fledged crush.
When Grace swoops him away fro Quaritch and his influence- you go with. All the way up into the Hallelujah Mountains.
The extra close quarters and isolation just makes it worse.
The pajamas you wear to bed aren’t skimpy or sexy in nature- but damn do you look good in the small shorts and obscure band tee that falls to your knees.
He nearly loses his shit when you bend over one morning, your wide ass on display. The tiny sleep shorts do nothing to cover the plush cheeks and he’s never wanted to dig his teeth into something more.
You act like you didn’t see him discreetly hide his blushing face in his cup of coffee.
The same way that he acts like he doesn’t see you ogling him in Avatar form. You all but drool over the smooth blue skin and endless muscles.
He wonders if that’s the only way you’ll have him, in a body that’s not his.
It had all come to a head pretty soon after that.
At the core of it; the two of you are travelers, stuck on a foreign planet. All it takes is a particularly lonely night; one where some how the two of you had gotten a moment alone, for all of the emotion to bubble up.
You’d ended up in Jakes lap, in his chair. Grinding down onto him, your tongue down his throat as he wrapped his strong tattooed arms around you.
Safe to say you want Jake Sully however you can get him.
It’s a free for all after that and Grace straight up has to tell you guys to cool it down after stumbling upon you and Jake, him in his Avatar form, in the trees just behind the bunkers. His head had been buried between your naked thighs- your face blushing behind your Exo Mask. Grace had not been impressed.
“Between you two and Norm and Trudy, it’s like I’m living in a fucking frat house. Cut it out, before I citation all of you for interpersonal relationships. I swear, we’re supposed to be grown ups here, guys- ever heard of workplace discretion!”
Graces threats are empty, but Jake knows you respect her enough to take em to heart.
So it turns into a game of sorts.
The two of you try to get each other off as often as possible. As fast as possible. As hidden as possible.
All the sneaking around makes him feel like a teenager, alive and exhilarated when he’s in both of his bodies.
But he hates the quickies. He wants the time to worship your body thoroughly.
He jumps at the chance- when Norm rides along with Trudy to take Grace back to Hell’s Gate. She’s a higher up, after all. She has mountain’s of paperwork and reports she needs to do. That’s fine.
That means he gets to be alone with you.
He savors the night. The trailers are a tight fit for his Avatar body, but he pushes the bunk beds to an opposite wall and the two of you make a nest of sorts on the cold metal floor. All the pillows and blankets you can find to cushion yourselves.
You lie next to each other, facing one and other- as you explore each other with slow groping touches in the low light. Only the computer screens left on to illuminate the space.
It’s like neither of you can get enough.
His large calloused hands run along your curves- all that soft supple skin. Your plush breasts and doughy thighs and ass. You feel so good- you truly might be the only soft thing on the rugged planet of Pandora.
Your petite hands are eager too. You trace his arms, his broad shoulders, his tapered waist. Your wide eyes follow the path of your fingers.
“Holy shit, Jake. You’re built like a brick shit house- where did all this muscle come from?”
He chuckles at the awe in your tone. “Trainings been intense- Neytiris been riding my ass lately. I’m up before the sun rises in those trees”
“Remind me to thank her next time I see her” you mutter distractedly as you squeeze at his defined bicep.
It’s insanely good, but then again it always is.
Jake tastes your spit, and you hard little nipples and your dripping cunt. Feasting himself on your skin slowly.
The more orgasms he can wring out of you- the easier it will be for you to take his cock. He needs your body as loose as he can get it.
After what feels like hours getting fucked with his huge fingers, and rough textured tongue, you’re begging for him.
You can take it. You want to be full of him, you whine the words with big teary eyes that you know he can’t refuse.
He fucks into you slow- watching as you take him. Your pussy always looks like she’s going to break. Stretched to it’s limits, lips puffy and enflamed as his cock sinks in. The contrast of his indigo skin and your human flush is fucking hypnotic.
This isn’t the first time he’s fucked you in this body and it won’t be the last.
Every round seems to be better then the last- louder. Wetter. More passionate. You’re full of so much cum, there’s no way that your tiny womb could hold it even if it tried.
Na’vi libidos are something else.
He has stamina that he didn’t even know existed. After round three you’re out, all but asleep in his arms. Limp and ragdoll like in his oversized arms.
“You can keep going” your voice is paper thin and far away. Jakes not sure how you’re even coherent at this point.
He takes you into his lap, gently, but keeping you stuffed full to the brim with his cock.
You whimper and bury your messy face in his huge sweaty chest.
“I just need one more” Jake reassures you, petting your hair, stroking down your back. His hands are large and soothing, it’s so easy for him to touch all of you at once. “You don’t even have to move all that much, baby. Just let me come one more time, yeah?”
You nod, and really it’s just your head lulling in his clavicle. You’d lost the ability to control your muscles hours ago. “Yeah, mhmm”
Jake doesn’t even need to bounce you. Just having your pussy wrapped around him, tighter then anything he’s ever felt, is enough.
You sit on his lap, his cum flowing out of you. Down your thighs. Onto his own groin. And warm his cock.
It’s erotic and intimate and as he holds you close he thinks about Neytiris words. Tsaheylu- the sacred bond. He’s felt it with direhorse- and his ikran. A part of him wishes that he could feel it with you.
When he empties the last of his milky, iridescent cum inside of you and you pull back from his chest enough to give him a small smile, he thinks that no.
This is enough.
I LOVE YOU JAKE MOTHER FUCKING SULLY UGHHHHHHHHH. I swear he fucking remixed the game in the first Avatar. I will never ever ever get over him.
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lassieposting · 7 months
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So anyway I think it would be funny if Garrus kept getting a bit distracted during his extensive research into human biology
Like obviously he reads the pamphlets (helpfully provided by Mordin) and watches the porn (gleefully provided by Joker) but he also does a bunch of his own extranet deep-diving because he's Like That, he's got Detective Brain, and he doesn't half-ass anything
But he knows the Normandy extranet hub is not private: Cerberus is probably spying on all of them, EDI has unrestricted systems access and a tendency to share anything she finds interesting with Joker, Legion can hack into anything, Tali likes to gossip. So, to a) avoid putting Shepard in an awkward position with the Illusive Man and b) keep his sex life private, he uses vague search terms. Human biology. Human organs. Evolution of humanity. Human reproductive cycle. Interesting facts about humans. Interspecies workplace communication.
And then he gets sidetracked. 50 Weird Facts About Humans leads him to 10 Reasons Humans Are Scary which leads him to an article about humans as persistence predators. An Overview Of Human Body Parts leads him to 5 Body Parts Humans Don't Actually Need which leads him to articles on wisdom teeth and tonsils and the appendix, which can apparently explode at random. He gets clickbaited.
And now he has all this new knowledge he finds fascinating and wants to share! So he starts doing things like telling Kelly how many bones she has, or explaining Why Humans Evolved Eyelashes at the dinner table and then asking Jack why she evolved eye hairs, but not head hairs. Or asking Jacob how tall he is, and then thoughtfully musing about how that's short for his species.
And, in Shepard's cabin, when he nervously mentions having done some research, she slinks over to get all up in his personal space in her bathtowel and asks him what he learned. At which point he panics, all the sexy one liners about sensitive spots evacuate his brain immediately, and he blurts out that according to the extranet, the anus is the first part of an infant human to develop in the womb, so, you know, when Saren said humans were a bunch of assholes he was not technically wrong
(Shepard looks at him for a minute. Like, a really long minute. Just blinking. He's fairly sure he's about to be booted into the elevator and she'll keep the wine, to get over this disastrous encounter. And then she explodes with laughter, tells him he's ridiculous, and shuts him up by kissing him, because at least someone here has her head in the game)
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onmyyan · 5 months
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Diego Dumas
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Spoiler alert he's a werewolf
Was bitten, not born, and he kinda loves being a monster.
He used to feel all angsty about his condition, that is until he used it to get rid of a bastard who in his mind, committed a great sin against you and your relationship (some dude made you giggle which he took as a threat), now he's all for it.
Likes to scent you even though you can't smell it, he can.
And boy oh boy does he like it when he's the only thing he can smell on you.
But that means God help you if you dare to come home smelling like someone else, will pitch the biggest fit.
Can shift on command, has been afflicted since he was 18 so he's had a lotta practice on getting this thing under control.
Hence the scarring, but if you ask him he'll just say he's clumsy.
Age 24 this big boy stands at a tall 6'5
Scary dog privilege goes without saying.
Bites to give affection
Please bite him back
Favorite color is that pale blue the sky is when the sun is first coming up.
Works as a security guard for a small plaza in your town, keeping little old ladies safe and all that, his stature is enough to stop most would be criminals but if someone tries him he's more than happy to bare his teeth.
Accidental flirt, he makes really intense eye contact when he speaks to people, that paired with his warm baritone voice leaves mf's flustered.
Smells faintly of campfire and the woods, always has dirt on his shoes.
Would walk around barefoot if he could.
Please pretty please pet this mf's hair.. he will fall apart in your lap.
Protective/delulu yandere, in his brain y'all are basically married, so ofc he's gonna glare at the UPS guy until he's too freaked out and leaves your package by the driveway
Don't worry he'll go get it
Kinda just inserts himself in your life, but he's so smooth with it, it's hard to stay mad
One second he's some hot dude you see around town the next thing you know he's in your house raiding your fridge and complaining about your snack selection.
Huge foodie, something about shifting makes him hungry, he eats like he's filming a mukbang
Surprisingly funny for such a stoic looking fucker
Has a dry wit and he can come off as blunt or rude but it's just his tizzim' (samebro)
Outdoorsy and handy
In his dream life y'all live in a secluded cabin in the thick woods where the only person with access to you was him
If you're in the dark about his condition he'll keep you in the dark as long as possible but it's hard not to know when he's basically a doberman that got turned into a man
Extremely loving and warm, likes to bear hug you when y'all sleep, unless you got a queen sized bed he will take up the entire thing.
His socks are always mix matched
Likes keeping a braid in his hair, especially if you're the person braiding it.
Has binged the Twilights with you and has a personal beef with Jacob
Radiates heat like a mf, even in his human form he runs hot as hell, like to keep a window open at night but don't worry, getting cold isn't possible with him next to you.
Likes baggy clothes because he's big.
When he gets real man, like real mad his nails grow into claws, has scars on his palms from clenching his fist too hard.
His eyes flash with hints of yellow when he's turning.
All in all this good boy just needs someone to hold his leash.
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