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revelisms · 9 months

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Silco, Sevika and Jinx Headcanons (music ver 🎵)

Since my playlists are running rampant (and they're largely how I get a sense for writing character voices/actions/etc.), I thought it'd be fun to share a few HC tidbits via some tunes :-)

Silco — aka the Bloodshark, the Eye, Mr. Crime Boss himself; the man, the myth, the slippery bastard. Also clocking in with nearly 8+ hours worth of songs for this sack of bones...I am...side-eyeing myself. Anyway.

Foundation — Sunlit Grave, Saint Mesa

This basically kickstarted the playlist earworm, for him. At a high-level, this is the song I think of anytime I write him: it's dark, eerie, regal, persevering. I always get an image of someone sinking beneath the depths at the beginning, and clawing out of a deathly cage/prowling to a bloody pinnacle by the end. The lyrics themselves also capture a flavor of his character, as a dead man speaking to someone (potentially his killer and/or lover) who knew him before; who must choose to let go of their knowledge of who that dead man used to be. He is gone, irreparably changed, and he's not coming back—and he'll drag a kingdom to its knees, by the end. (Maybe it's what landed him in that grave, in the first place.)

Inner Voice — The Wondersmith and His Sons, Astronautalis

This gives a sense of past and present: a glimpse into the hard-cracked persona he'd built in the mines (which I associate with folksongs, especially of an English or Gaelic nature), twisted up into the sly, scheming charisma he harnessed as co-founder of the Lanes. For me, the song paints a potential tale of childhood (the lyrics tell of a family of swindlers, from which the narrator is the cleverest son) and a foreboding hint into the future (too much grease can break down a machine; for all their success, a brutal end is eminent). It also just feels like him—it's growly, arrogant, and jovial; drawling in some moments, and spit-fired in others.

On The Record — Time & Place, Queens of the Stone Age

In terms of what he'd actually listen to (of which I think he'd have a extensive range, to the point of his tastes skewing past eclectic into downright bizarre), this would fit easily between a swath of blaring industrial rock, crooning big band classics, jazz, folk-tunes, experimental funk, r&b, etc. It's got that flavor of 80s post-punk vocals that would be a staple in his sets, with a snappy flare in the instrumentals (something he'd nod his head or tap his pen to)—and, funnily enough, has a slight echo to Snakes (Vi's and Jayce's fightsong), which...oddly fits, given I see him and Vi as actually very similar, at their cores.

Sevika — aka the Lioness, the Teeth, "step on me and I'll thank you for it" Miss King. She's badassery in a gilded package, baby—but there's a tender spot under it all, if you squint.

Foundation — Little Girl Gone, CHINCHILLA

Another song that kickstarted the playlist earworm. This is a baseball bat to the gut with prowess, swagger and Try That Again energy—and the transition of the whisper to the drop just hhh. Gets me every time. This song is the battle anthem from a woman who's earned her armor (fittingly, working under a gangster)—test her patience, and she'll be wearing red on her sleeve; dare to cross her in a fight, and she'll drink you down like liquor. I can visualize a snappy two-punch brawl every time I hear this.

Inner Voice — Milk, BONES UK

Dipping into that tenderness here, with a stark note of ceaseless ambition, we've got this song—a reflection, a demand, a love letter, a hunger. There's so many layers folded into this: the desires of a self-made life to be everything and more their host yearns for it to be, even if, underneath it all, what they truly yearn for is belonging. This feels like a young, angry, cropped-hair and bloody-fisted Sevika fighting down the world—and an older self looking fondly, if a touch melancholically, back on it all.

On The Record — Know Better, Janelle Monáe

Put her on the aux, and she'll have the dancefloor congealing into a neon haze of sweat and glitter. The mix of the sax and the bassline here just thrums with her energy, to me: self-assured, watchful, slow-smirking. It's often the kind of tracks she reaches for, especially for a crowd; she's got a bold streak in her, and it doesn't take much to stir it to full display (come here now, stranger; gimme that sense of danger).

Jinx — aka the Loose Cannon, the Bombshell, everyone's favorite lil' gremlin. I tend to interpret her character in distinct "phases"—i.e., Powder, Jinx, and Jinx post-shimmer. These also factor into what I musically associate with her; each piece of her character feels very distinct.

Foundation — BLOODMONEY, Poppy

This is like...the Jinx song, to me. It's about distrust, sacrifice, self-identity, denial, rage, all wrapped up in a spiteful bow of religious allegories—a flash-cycle of whose opinion she worships, at any given moment (when nobody is watching, what do you believe?). It's also just a sensory meal with the sound design, and could even match up with soundbites of her voice so easily.

Inner Voice — Crimson, Skott

Take a stroll into Powder building Jinx's persona from the ashes. This is a haunting, beautiful song, with an undercurrent of something fight-eager, spiteful, and hopeful brewing beneath the surface. In the wake of tragedy, there's still a thread of strength; someone picking up the pieces while trying to find a path back to their own mind. I almost hear this as an apology and declaration of war, in turns, from Jinx to Vi.

On The Record — BOOM, Cassyette.

You know this little metalhead is listening to any splitzy mechanical tracks she can get her hands on (fuels the inventor muse, y'know?)—and I think she'd love this. I mean, c'mon. It's a song about explosions, told through a narrator saying how slipping into different mental spaces feels like a bomb waiting to blow. I could see her jamming to this on loop in her workshop while tinkering with a new flare gun. (Also, as a close runner up, I associate anything Djerv with her, given they were the artist for Get Jinxed—she'd probably have things like (We Don't) Hang No More always on the gramophone, singing to it word for word.)

#arcane #arcane headcanon #silco arcane #sevika arcane #jinx arcane #crime family shenanigans #music headcanons #i just love these three #they're going to ruin my spotify stats this year

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faillen · 10 months

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it’s way past midnight but i’ve still got a lot of hours of being conscious ahead of me (trying to not miss a redeye flight lol) so this is a great time to do a bit of picking my own brain apart via projecting onto a character lmao

anyway. i think Pran does fine in Singapore the first couple of months. he’s so busy with the new city and job and home away from home that he does fine. his friends are available for hours long video calls. there’re so many things for him to explore. he comes up with a very religious cleaning/errand schedule for himself. he holds himself to accepting an invitation to after-work drinks at least once every two weeks, if not more.

he might not have a lot of people he’s super close to in the city, but he doesn’t feel super disconnected from the folks he usually leans on for emotional support. Pat is always happy to call for hours and they keep up a steady texting chain. Ditto for Ink and Wai. there’re groupchats chock full of memes and complaints about the transition to post-grad life.

it’s not that he doesn’t get homesick--he does--but he doesn’t have the time to really ruminate on that. there is so much that is new and constantly asking for his attention that it really only pops up on a very quiet night where his apt feels a little too big, or when he sees pictures of everyone out and about online and it hits a little too hard, or when he tastes something that’s just to the left of his mom’s cooking.

it’s after he’s a few months in--when he feels relatively settled at work, and doesn’t have as much of a drive to explore Singapore, and his routine is basically set, that the loneliness starts to creep in. it’s when singapore feels less like a novel place that he’s in and more like the place he’s living that, funnily enough, he starts to feel a bit more unmoored.

and though he’s beginning to make friends at this point, the newness of those relationships--and all the anxieties and worries that come with trying to figure out the boundaries of a new friendship + taking the leap of trust that people enjoy spending time with him as much as he enjoys spending time with them (okay full disclosure yeah that last bit about people enjoying time with him might actually be about me but this is my post and my self-psychoanalysis via Pran Parakul Siridechawat so I can write what i want)--make the overall sense of isolation worse.

they leave him longing for the security of the long-term and comfortable relationships that he no longer has access to. the easy intimacy of laying around someone’s apartment for a few hours, or doing something without worrying about pretenses. on the flipside, the people back home who miss him are entering a period where that feeling is less sharp and while he’s glad that it’s all sort of mellowed out a bit, there’s also a lot of dissonance b/w how he’s feeling about being in a new country on his own, and how others are feeling about him not being where he used to always be.

#doot doot doot #maybe i'll go pack now that i've written this and gotten it out of my head lmao #bad buddy #if you read this and you're like this isn't pran *shakes fist*#then you're prolly right #and sike it's actually me #so just scroll away pretending you didn't see this

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skibasyndrome · 4 months

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You haven’t reblogged the asks but if you feel like answering some (no pressure though): 1, 3, 9, 12, 22? :)

I wish you a happy new year (I know it’s still a few hours until midnight but whatever) and hope it’ll bring you as much joy, laughter and happy memories as possible 💜💜

Ahhhh, Lia!!! So sweet of you to ask these, thank you! And sorry for the late reply, but I hope you had the best transition from 2023 into 2024 and I hope 2024 treats you kindly and that you can have the best experiences ever in it :) 💜💜💜💜💜

Also just as a caveat....... I have like such a bad perception of time so I'll try my best to answer these correctly, but like... one year just bleeds into the other

Song of the year?

Gosh this is so hard... I mean for most of the year I didn't really even listen to a lot of music, I only got back into listening to music a lot after I started watching YR funnily enough. One song I was absolutely obsessed with though was (still is!) Achilles Come Down by Gang of Youths. And idk, not to be all deep about this, but I love that song for SO many reasons. It was sort of a rediscovery for me this year, I'd listened to it in the past, but I think it only really hit this year. Listening to it for the first time again was such a surreal experience as well, because I'd had this awesome course on existentialism last year (as in 2022) and I was like "wait... is this song..." and then I realized that the french passages in it are quotes from Camus' Mythe de Sisyphe! Of all things! And my mind was instantly blown and I immediately loved the song so so much more than I'd loved it before. And it also feels like it ties up my years so nicely in so many ways, because I wrote a paper that had to do with Camus' existentialism at the beginning of the year which I enjoyed so so much and to re-discover that in a song? <3 But also the fact that I used some lyrics from it for the second fic I wrote for YR which was also the second fic I'd written in YEARS of not doing that at all? Idk, something about that rediscovery of the song being linked to my rediscovery for my love of writing? Feels special, so maybe I'll go with that song :) (sorry for the ramble)

3. Favorite musical artist / group you started listening to this year?

Omar Ruberg, no questions asked, y'all know my brainrot

9. Best month for you this year?

Ahhhh, months are so difficult to tell apart in retrospective, everything kinda blends together. I think every month had its special moments but I'm gonna say August because that's when I first watched YR and that kickstarted SO MUCH for me as you might be able to tell lol. Can't believe this little show and the fandom for it had that much of an impact on me already, but they did.

12. Talk about a new friend you made this year

It's not just one, but: the lovely people on here I met through YR.... :) I mean I keep saying it because I'm a bit of a sap, but you guys are so sweet, so welcoming and I've just loved every single conversation I've had with any of you <3

22. Favorite place you visited this year?

Hmmm, I didn't really travel much this year, but I went to Berlin with my bf and a friend of ours and we had the chance to go to a very cute queer bookshop there in a very cute and very queer neighborhood. And idk, just walking those streets where there were pride flags everywhere and people like me existing carelessly... that really touched me. Not something I've ever experienced before in my life, so that memory stuck.

Thank you so much for asking! And sorry for the ramble omg

#bigalockwood #answered

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serendipitouxs · 2 years

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When they see you making an edit on another idol

; Them as your idol boyfriend

OT5 TXT members

Type: Imagine

Pairing: TXT member x Reader

Genre: Fluff, crack

Warnings: nothing as such

A/N: creative block episode 2039303😃✋🏻 idk what this is but- 🤷‍♀️I hope you like it!💓

－－☁️－－－－☁️－－－－☁️－－－－☁️－－－－☁️－－－－☁️－－

Scenario:

Spending an evening outside, perhaps with people was just something you weren't feeling today, all thanks to this one video clip you had found online earlier that got your editor self excited to work with. However, there was a slight issue–the idol in the clip was actually your idol boyfriend's close friend, and your boyfriend just so happened to be staying in this evening too. Not sure about his reaction, you still decided to take it forward and not make your editing senses wait for too long, but was this hurry a good decision?

๑ : Soobin

— Notices right away but acts like he doesn't care 🤷‍♀️

— TRIES to act smooth about not caring, emphasis on TRIES

— It was very obvious that it bothered him🤦‍♀️

— Still held up his 'don't care' cover until he saw you doing a cool transition- to say he was IMPRESSED was an understatement. Boy was MOVED.

— "How- did you do THAT? whAT??" Bloooown awaaayyy🤯

— Quick enough to simp over your editing skills and the idol in question with you so it all worked out at the end🙆‍♀️

๑ : Yeonjun

— Wondering why you're so immersed into your screen, he did already expect to see you working on an edit or preparing for one

— What he didn't expect was seeing you make a badass edit on an Idol who he was actually very close to

— Low key jealous but funnily doesn't even TRY to hide it🏃‍♀️

— Straight up snatches the phone. Doesn't even return it when you circle around him for it and holds it up, unreachable thanks to his great height ✋🏻

— "So you're gonna be here not giving me MY attention but editing MY BEST FRIEND in a badass way instead? Excuse me what?" ✨offENDED✨

— Still kinda salty about it later but forgets about the saltiness after sometime when you spend some time with him, later you find him encouraging you to continue the edit🤦‍♀️

๑ : Beomgyu

— Kinda jealous too, but unlike Yeonjun, he is sulky about it

— Got a little quiet and low energy running over it, curling into a lil pouty ball at one end of the sofa

— Even rants to Toto about it😭✋🏻

— When you noticed, you told him it isn't what it looks like and if he was still sad, you show him all the edits you've made on him

— All happy and giggly suddenly and he's watching these edits VERY attentively😙

— "Oh Y/nie why have you never told me you've made so many edits on me? You're so good at this~" stop he's so cute I'm gonna just go cry a lil bit

๑ : Taehyun

— Of all of Tubatu, I think he'd be the calmest since the beginning

— The way he'd be all normal around you made you feel like he didn't even know you were upto this, well he very well knew since the second you opened that app but just didn't see a bug deal in it🤷‍♀️

— Even sits next to you but without making it seem like he's trying to snooping, neiither were you trying to hide it so-

— Doing his thing but also keeping an eye out, just checking if you're remaining as respectful as a fan as idols would like, which, you did!

— He liked the edit a lot actually, but you don't know he's been watching it so he can't ask you for it👁👄👁 so he downloads this edit of yours from your edit page SNEAKILY🕴 and sENDS IT TO THE IDOL YOU MADE THE EDIT ON🧍‍♂️

— "Yup, she loves editing and she's actually always this respectful" we see a proud Tyun telling the idol about editor Y/N 🙆‍♀️

๑ : Huening Kai

— At first, the idol wasn't what caught his attention

"Oh my god, Is the xyz app you're using? Gosh, it's so hard, how are you so smooth with it?" You were pulled by his fascination until it occurred to you how he could even know about this app

— Yeaaahhhh....he kinda forgot to tell you he actually was an editor himself too

— The way you SCREAMED hearing this✋🏻

— The excitement lasted long enough until you saw him looking at your screen with mixed emotions, obviously noticing the idol you were editing

— You were about to explain yourself when he interrupts you, "Even I like this idol! You HAVE to send me this scene pack, let's edit together~ aahh this is too exciting!" Later spent a long time editing together🫂

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imagineofallkindsxxx · 3 years

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Eternal Flame- Kol Mikaelson 4/?

Chapter 2- And Here I Thought We Were Getting Along.

Summary: 'You never know whats in a persons heart until you truly know them' - Belle French, Once Upon a Time

Singing. Thats all what Alexandra Gilbert has cared about since she was young and all she would care about until she met him.

With Alexandra fighting vampires, werewolves and all between she may do a thing she vowed never to do, fall in love.

And to think it all started with a walk in the woods...

WC: 2909

I came here for a good time not to get abused by a psychotic hybrid and watch one of my good friends get their necks snapped. Wasn't on my todays to do list, let me explain what happened next.

"Ah Dana, why don’t you relax? You and Chad sit tight." How gracious of you, you psycho I thought no way in hell am I being sarcastic to the scary hybrid maniac again, I quite like my head attached to my body. "I assume you’re the reason Elena's still walking around alive?" The psycho question Bonnie

"That’s right. If you want someone to blame, blame me" Bon I love you but let’s not commit suicide by placing blame on yourself.

"Oh, there's no need for blame, love. just you and your witchy interference seems to have caused some undesirable side effects." He told her making me thank whatever god that he won't kill a friend of mine well so I thought. "And since you caused the problem, I’m going to have you find the fix." Wonderful, fan-fucking-tastic.

Before anyone was able to come back with a comment a blonde girl dressed in a pretty outfit came through the doors the opposite side of the hall with her dragging Tyler. Oh, this is getting better and better.

"Get off of me!" Ty yelled at the blonde but I have an inkling that just yelling that isn’t going to work.

"Hush now" the blonde said to Tyler hearing her speak with the same accent as the psycho essentially holding the rest of us captive, wonderful.

"I'd like you all to meet my sister. word of warning... she can be quite mean." He said teasing his sister clearly annoying the girl.

"Don't be an ass" before throwing Ty in to the hybrids arm. I like her all things considered.

"Leave him alone!" Elena yelled futile. I mean did she really think that was going to work.

"I'm going to make this very simple... every time I attempt to turn a werewolf into a vampire they die during transition. It’s quite horrible actually." The psycho hybrid informs us before biting into his wrist and making ty drink his blood which I can say from experience isn’t a great experience. "I need you to find a way to save my hybrids bonnie and for Tyler’s sake... you better hurry" before snapping his neck killing him.

"Jesus!" I yelled instinctively as Klaus smiles at us creepily. What is happening to this town, now not only is the sheriffs’ kid essentially dead but the mayors as well. Wonderful

Matt dropped down to the floor looking at Tyler almost in tears staring at his best friend before saying "He killed him".

"He's not dead, Klaus blood will turn him into a vampire" I informed Matt with a hand on his shoulder attempting to comfort the quarter back.

"And if Bonnie is successful, he will live through transition. Go on then. Go and fetch your grimoires and enchantments and what-not. I'll hold onto Elena and Her" he said pointing at me "for safe keeping" fantastic I’m leverage now. I should have taken up Sam’s offer to give me a ride back home. Bonnie looks apprehensive to leave so I shout

"Bon just go we'll be fine? I assume so anyway." But she seemed more focused on Elena what a shocker and when got the okay from her left. Once it was just the six of us Rebekah came up to my sister looking her up and down.

"So, this is the latest doppelganger. The original one was much prettier" I’m not going to lie that moment seemed to be the only good thing that had been said since I left the boys.

"Enough Rebekah. Take the wolf boy and her somewhere, would you?" Her brother told her like she was the dog not him.

"And here was me thinking we were getting on" I said to the hybrid in an innocent tone. I saw the blonde give a small smirk in the corner of my eye before grabbing Tyler by the t-shirt he was wearing and me roughly by the arm.

"God what is it with this family and being rough. Keep it inside the bedroom will you."

Rebekah dragged me and a now dead Tyler away from the gym hall and to the chemistry class. Mr Jones.

"NO" I shouted the top of my lungs where the vampire stopped and looked at me funnily. "You walk through that door and you'll be washing confetti out your hair until next year. trust me I rigged it myself." She gave me a confused look "Senior prank night" where she gave a nod in realization before moving into the class next door which was prank free luckily.

I saw Caroline knocked out, Rebekah throwing Tyler down beside her. I didn't have to question what happened to Caroline the angle of her neck was enough besides its bad enough having an original watching you like a hawk but an angry one... don't even want to think what the blonde would be like when angry. She sat down on one side of the class me at the other with Caroline lying next to me, my phone starts made a noise to indicate a text my main bet it is Sam to see if I’m home safe.

"what is that?" the blonde asked confused by the contraption in my hands.

"It’s an iPhone?" I questioned back where has she been the past decade "Have you never seen one before?"

"Obviously I haven't, I wouldn’t have asked if I had" she snapped back

"Okay, relax. I'm just going to text my friend that I’m fine, okay?" Trying to calm her down a bit not wanting to cause an angry original. I contemplated sending an SOS then thought I would just be putting him in danger as well, dealing with this bull shit is enough I don’t want Sam dragged into it.

"What’s a text?" Jesus she really doesn't know anything about technology. Where has Klaus been keeping her?

"It’s like a letter only you can send it on this device. look I'll show you." I told her crawling over next to her "I'm texting my friend that I’m safe. so, I type it in to the bar here from the keyboard here" I was explaining it as best as possible for her whilst also replying to the text. Once I taught her that she must have heard vibrating because she heard Caroline’s phone. She picked it up and started to go through her phone, I'm still trying to teach her the basics of a phone. such as I just taught her how to take a selfie and it seems to keep her amused.

"Thank you. I'm sorry I never caught your name?" Rebekah asked kindly which is quite unusual for a borderline kidnapper.

"Uh, its Alexandra but call me Alex, Alexandra sounds so formal even from a millennial old vampire" giving a little laugh that she mirrored. "So, Klaus is your brother, must be ... eventful?"

She gave out a laugh "That's one word for it. Me and my brother have a complicated relationship." She told me smiling at me "I overheard your sisters with the doppelganger?" She questioned about Elena causing me to roll my eyes "Not a fan I take it."

"You could say that. Just like you and Klaus our relationship is complicated."

"If only families were easy"

I went to reply in agreement until I heard groaning coming from the direction Caroline was lying in making me snap my head quick enough to give me whiplash.

"Care" I rushed to her side "Are you okay? How's the neck?" I asked quickly making sure my friend was okay and in the right mind set for what she is about to see. From behind me I could hear the British voice I have grown used to in the past hour.

"We didn't have mobile telephones in my day. Would have made life a lot easier I suppose." Ending with taking a selfie which I smirked at. Caroline didn't have time to engage in conversation about her phone or wellbeing being more concerned about her boyfriend.

"Where's Tyler?" In a panic Rebekah answered her question calmly.

"He's dead. ish" Moving a bit to let Caroline have visual of her dead not so dead boyfriend.

"What did you do to him?" Caroline was starting to get a bit angry and I'm not sure if I want to see a fight between these two from such close proximity.

"Think of it as he's having a nap. When he wakes up, hell he a hybrid." Rebekah informed her

"Klaus turned him, Caroline. His hybrids are failing and we need Bonnie to find a spell to make sure Ty is a success and well lives." I told her giving her the run down of what is happening.

Nevertheless she races up and put her head to his chest to try and find a heart beat. While watching Caroline trying to wake Tyler hopelessly Rebekah was swiping through the photos she had taken with the help of yours truly before coming across a cute picture of Elena and Stefan

"Ugh. Vomit." She said disgusted by the picture before seeing something familiar in the picture and not just Stefan. She zoomed in to the neckless Elena wore since a few days in their relationships before getting up and turning to me shouting "Why is that doppelganger bitch wearing my necklace?!" making me jump a bit.

"Your necklace? That’s the necklace Stefan gave Elena at the beginning of their relationship. How is it your necklace?" I retorted confused on how Elena managed to get a necklace from a vampire whose been in a box for ninety years.

she stormed out of the class with me following slowly compared to her you know seeing as she’s a vampire and all. She marched into the gym hall towards my sister

"Where is it?!? Where is my necklace?" Shouting at Elena to give her necklace to the proper owner.

"What are you talking about?" Asked Rebekah’s big brother confused looking between me and his sister. Giving him the phone, she showed him the picture of the couple with Rebekah’s necklace.

"She has my necklace. Look."

"Well, well, more lies" he replies looking at Elena and Stefan.

"Where... is it?" Rebekah asks slowly and honestly her being somewhat calm is even more terrifying than her furious.

"I don't have it anymore" Elena tells the original which she finds unsatisfactory.

"Your lying!" she bellows before biting Elena’s neck which then Klaus pulls her off and takes her over to the side.

"Knock it off!" Klaus warns his little sister but she isn't backing down that easily, it was her necklace for nine centuries to be fair.

"Make her tell me where it is Nik!" she whines to her brother convincing the hybrid to talk to the doppelganger.

"Where's the necklace, sweet heart? Be honest" trying to convince her to tell them where the necklace is

"I'm telling the truth. Katherine stole it." Elena defends herself, first time for everything I suppose.

"Of course it would be that bitch." I muttered the same time as Klaus yells out dramatically,

"If we had the necklace, it would make things a whole lot easier for your witch, but since we're doing this the hard way, let's put a clock on it, shall we?" Declaring that he was putting a time on this, setting the dreadful noise of the gym clock buzzes and it’s set to twenty minutes stop clock. After this he begins to compel Stefan "Twenty minutes. If Bonnie hasn't found a solution by then, I want you to feed again. Only this time, I want you to feed on Elena. You know you want to." Oh, fantastic my sister is going to be a drained blood bag if Bon doesn’t find the right spell out of thousand within 20 minutes. Wonderful.

"No, Klaus! don't do this to him!" My sister yells. When is she going to get it through her thick head that these are the Salvatore’s or Katherine these are thee vampires, they don’t take orders from a human even if they are a Petrova doppelganger.

"No one leaves. If she tries to run, fracture her spine".

"Oh how delightful" I muttered.

Rebekah grabs my arm albeit gentler this time taking me away with her and Klaus.

"No! Alex! Let her go please!" I hear Elena beg for my life, which although we are sisters is a nice feeling that she remembered about me.

"Oh love, don't worry your precious Alex will be quite alright with my dear sister." Klaus retorts before walking through the doors to go out to the corridor. "I'm sorry your brought into all this sweet heart." Klaus apologise not even sounding a tad sincere.

"Yeah, let’s just say next time I’m offered a ride I’ll be taking it. rather not get brought into my sisters mess again" this makes Rebekah smirk as we depart ways from her brother to head towards the class we left Caroline and Tyler in.

After a long seventeen awkward minutes with the two blondes sitting opposite sides of the rooms me in the middle being a barrier of sorts but as soon as it hit the three minute left mark Tyler woke up making me race towards the werewolf turned hybrid

"Where am I? What happened?" Tyler questioned the two of us, seeing Rebekah and looking extremely confused

"Tyler" Caroline began but Rebekah interrupted before she could say anymore

"Don't be shy about it."

"What’s going on?" Tyler still and rightly so confused I would be as well if I woke up in a class from a broken neck with three females two vampires.

"Klaus is turning you into a vampire. A hybrid. You’re in transition" Caroline starts off being kind and leaving the hard bits out.

"Don’t leave the hard bits out sweets. you-" but I cut her off

"You'll only live if Bonnie is successful but if she doesn't find a solution then... you'll die" I told him trying to block out any emotion that would rub off on to him and Caroline but not succeeding seeming stressed and upset.

"You’re going to be okay. Okay? It's going to be okay." Caroline says not only trying to convince Tyler but herself also.

"I wonder how she's doing." Showing us the time left on her clock only being two minutes "Tick Tok goes the gym clock."

I look upset and stressed I step outside in the hallway leaving the couple to have a moment but Rebekah follows "I'm sorry, Alex. I don't know what I'd do if someone tried to hurt my brothers the way you are. I'm so sorry" her apology seeming to be more sincere compared to her brothers earlier. I nodded in thanks not wanting to seem remotely weak. Tyler will live. He has to.

I breathe in and out steadying my heart rate before going back into the class where Caroline and Tyler are situated obviously upset, nervous and worried from the look on their face. But after a few minutes and most likely the death of my sister which brings tears to my eyes an unlikely hero comes to save the day and that person is Klaus Mikaelson.

"Well verdicts in. The original witch says the doppelganger should be dead." Making me deflate tears finally running down my cheeks at the thought of my sister dying. I may not have seen eye to eye with her but she was still my sister.

"Does that mean we get to kill her?" Seeming happy until she seems me and then tries to hide her excitement failing in doing so.

"No, I’m fairly certain it means the opposite." He tell his sister

"Wait Elena is alive?" I question the hybrid in which he ignores but putting two and two together I breathe in a sigh of relief that my twin sister is alive.

"What?!?" Rebekah exclaims also being partly ignored by her brother. She pulls Caroline and myself back so we don’t interrupt any process of what will happen such as Klaus feeding my friend my sisters’ blood out of a small test tube.

"Elena’s blood drink it"

"Tyler no!" Caroline yells in warning

"Caroline! He’s dead either way!" Giving her a pleading look if she can be quiet and let this psycho feed him Elena’s blood.

"At least we can agree on something sweet heart" He says talking to me making me glare at him.

After a struggle Tyler finally drinks the blood in the test tube.

"There we go good boy"

"He isn't a dog" I snarked towards the original which he returned with a glare with the same amount of malice I sent him.

"And here was me thinking we were getting along" mirrorring my words earlier.

Once Tyler had finished drinking her blood he coughs and falls to the floor from rolling about on the desk that he was lying on. He was screaming and groaning before he holds his head and screams so loud it hurts my normal human ears. his face finally changes: His eyes are golden and he has fangs along with veins under his eyes just like a vampire. I glanced at Caroline worriedly when Klaus said.

"Well, that's a good sign"

**************************************

A/N: long chapter for me anyway.

Again hope there's not too mistakes e.g. grammar, spelling, Americanisms.

if you have anything to say please don't hestitate to comment. I appreciate all positive and negative feedback

Next chapter is really a tad of her relationship with the boys and part of the next episode.

Thanks for reading Lovelies xxx

#kol mikaelson imagine #kol mikaelson x you #kol mikaelson x reader #kol mikaelson #kol mikaelson series #the vampire diaries imagine #the originals imagine

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greylunar · 4 years

Note

hi tal!! i’d genuinely call you one of my favorite ppl on the planet ☺️ so i’m a bit nervous reaching out to you again, but i’ve been listening to a lot more sleeping at last recently, which has brought me back to your uquiz. i listened to 4 on enneagram and felt a similar sense of being “known” as i did when i took your quiz & got ravenclaw. so i was wondering, is there a big correlation between your enneagram & your house? i’d assume there would be! (ty for millions of things!! bye! 💕)

Hello Madi!!! I super hope that I just haven’t gotten to your first ask yet, and that it didn’t just get lost somewhere in the interspace, since you seem absolutely lovely and I would hate to make you nervous even a little bit about anything, but especially about me not answering an ask. I’m,,, very bad at social media and the internet, in general, hehe and so I’ve been answering asks fairly sporadically and in less and less of a sensical order as time passes. I still have my goal of answering everyone, and I will not be shaken from it! It just might take me a while hehe. But I love you all and you all deserve the best answers I can give c:

I’m so glad you’ve been listening to sleeping at last though! Funnily enough, my favorite songs by him aren’t on the enneagram album, but I love Mercury, Light, and Sun the most c: Funnily enough, I actually don’t know much about enneagram on its own, and for the most part I did the lyrics for each house based on gut interpretations of specific lines, rather than correlations between each type and house! Hehe I wish I was smart enough to know the intricacies of both and tie them together, but I can do you something hopefully as good which is to tell you what each Sleeping at Last song’s lyrics vibe with!

One is interesting because I think the overall song could very easily be Gryffindor, but its the specific line “The list goes on forever of all the ways I could be better in my mind, as if I could earn God's favor given time, or at least congratulations,” that makes this song Slytherin for me c:

Two is where we get into the limits of the sorting house system, or I guess more specifically where the enneagram and sorting house system don’t really categorize the same things. There is no house that is the house of love, or self-sacrifice, or anything like that, because those are much more universal traits and why this song kind of hits different for a lot of people. The line that I put in the uquiz was "I know exactly how your rule goes / Put my mask on first / No, I don't want to talk about myself / Tell me where it hurts / I just want to build you up, build you up / 'Til you're good as new / And maybe one day, I'll get around / To fixing myself, too," as a Hufflepuff line because,,, yeah. In a weird way though, I feel like two as a whole vibes with Ravenclaws who I think even more than puffs have a tendency to lose their sense of self when in love and when caring for others in their life just because they’re still curious as to who their self is, rather than being more sturdy in it like a hufflepuff.

Three yall this is it you’ve broken Slytherins down to their bare essentials

Four is my perfect Ravenclaw song and so I’m very excited to hear you are both a Ravenclaw and a four!! It’s really validating hehe and also the song itself is just so beautiful that I’m really glad you are able to listen to it and connect to it and feel seen and held by it, I know how important nine was for me so I’m just really glad that comfort comes your way through this song c:

Five I think balances the rather unconventional line between Gryffindor and Ravenclaw. It’s the want of certainty while being surrounded by the unknown of the Gryffindor, and the want of the unknown while being surrounded by certainty of the Ravenclaw. The sense of being outside a group even while part of them harbored by both houses, the emotional armor often built by both houses, and the hesitation of both to let people in. The sort of pent up energy of a Gryffindor or Ravenclaw not doing enough although they may not even know what their definition of enough is.

Six. Y’all the ludicrous amount of character playlist six is on for me. The line I put in the quiz,"I wanna believe / No, I choose to believe / That I was made to become / A sanctuary....Is that courage or faith / To show up every day? / To trust that there will be light / Always waiting behind / Even the darkest of nights" is tagged as Hufflepuff and Gryffindor, but the second line from this song in the quiz "I had the most vivid dream / My feet had left the ground / I was floating to heaven / But I could only look down / My mind was heavy / Running ragged with worst case scenarios / Emergency exits and the distance below / I woke up so worried that the angels let go" is just so core Gryffindor and the entirety of the song as a whole is so Gryffindor that to call it anything else would be a travesty on my part.

Seven. Oh wow hey the way my dyscalculic ass forgot about the number seven and just straight up did not put this song in the quiz. This is fine hehe. I mean, its Gryffindor, utterly. This song always reminds me of laugh drunk nights with my friend @sammansonn (ironically a Slytherin) trying to decide whether or not we’re gonna steal a shopping cart and singing a little too loud for passersby. I like to think we make each other braver, so maybe that’s why its Gryffindor.

Eight is the perfect example of the venn diagram overlap of Gryffindor and Slytherin. "Now you won't see all that I have to lose / And all I've lost in the fight to protect it / I won't let you in. I swore never again- I can't afford, no, I refuse to be rejected" vs “I want to break these bones 'til they're better I want to break them right and feel alive / You were wrong, you were wrong, you were wrong- My healing needed more than time” vs “I remember the minute. It was like a switch was flipped / I was just a kid who grew up strong enough / To pick this armor up / And suddenly it fit" vs "I'm all in, palms out, I'm at your mercy now and I'm ready to begin / I am strong, I am strong, I am strong enough to let you in. / I'll shake the ground with all my might / I will pull my whole heart up to the surface / For the innocent, for the vulnerable / I'll show up on the front lines with a purpose,”...like we can all see the transition from Slytherin to Gryffindor and the strange muddy middle ground of both their paths to healing. I really think the only difference between a Slytherin and a Gryffindor is what you’re trying to heal from and how you’re trying to do it.

Nine. Listen it could all be bias. But there’s not a single part of these lyrics that hit the part of me that’s a Hufflepuff on purpose.

I hope that helped, and wasn’t way too much to read hehe. Thank you for asking, and even more for sharing your positivity and light with me, you made me smile today and I was really glad to come back and answer this ask. Have the best day ever Madi, and an even better day every one after that c:

#long post #like long ass post yall #quiz related content #hufflepuff #Gryffindor #ravenclaw #slytherin #HP Lore #Enneagram #tal asks #madireyn

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jaqfms · 4 years

Text

there's jacques ‘jaq’ daingerfield ! though on their socials they go by @thedangerousq . i heard he is originally from paris , france , but made the big move to los angeles to join TWENTIES . you haven't heard about it ? well , apparently their dream is to design his own video game , but they have no chance unless they quit being so cocky & lazy . that said , those behind the scenes have said they can be witty & charismatic too. guess we'll have to watch and find out ! ━ & laughing until you cry , a cartoon theme song paired with a hip hop beat , a juul behind your ear , vines quoted in a thick french accent . ( timothee chalamet , cis male , he/him ) ( pepper , she/her + they/them , est , twenty four )

ABOUT THE MUN. are ya in a relationship? you think i can convince someone to do that?

hello, it’s me again. i tired myself out with haisley’s so jaq’s if going to be considerably shorter. let’s go.

BIO. aaaahhhhhhhhhh shhiiittttt *begins understanding things*

jacques daingerfield was born in france to two very average parents. like his mother was a teacher and his father was a financial analyst. nothing wild or crazy going on there, and to top it off he was the middle child, and well, you can tell.

he has four siblings. he was the third kid, and well, he spent most of his childhood fighting for any kind of attention, usually by making inappropriate little jokes or you know, fart noises. yes his parents were generally exasperated with him, but that behavior made sure they paid attention to him. and honestly that was all jacques wanted.

again, jacques had a pretty average upbringing. he went to school, he was actually pretty popular among his peers despite being so annoying (definitely very unpopular amongst his teachers for generally that class clown that sat in the back and always interrupted), and he excelled academically without really trying too much. well, in every subject but english funnily enough. jaq always struggled in english, which is why it was incredibly ironic that when his parents separated they decided to move to uk with his father. jacques was ten at the time, and he still doesn’t understand the decision.

so yes, jacques was the kid in class with the weird name and weirder accent who could barely communicate with his classmates. it didn’t take long for them to stop really trying to pronounce ‘jacques’ properly. jacques became jack without much input on his part, and by the time jacques had got enough of a handle on the english language to correct them the americanized name had already stuck. even at nine jacques was smart enough to know that insisting on the correct french pronunciation of his name just kind of made him sound like a pretentious french asshole, so instead he spun it. he embraced it. started signing all of his papers and assignments with ‘jaq’ with a q like it was his brand or something. even as a child jaq will give himself credit for being clever af.

it actually worked pretty well honestly. the older jaq got the more he grew into himself, and the more comfortable he got with the english language. honestly a lot of how jaq learned english was through video games and youtube videos and cartoons, like those were some of his go to resources. spent a lot of time playing games with strangers and tested his english out with colourful trash talk. actually started his first ever youtube channel was basically that as just a way to practice his english a bit. all he did on there was play video games, and honesty he didn’t even show his face. the channel wasn’t that popular, but he had fun making it.

jaq on the other hand had gained popularity by the time he was in middle school. granted, that popularity was mostly due to the fact that he had a popular older brother and sister, was french and therefore ‘cute’ (jaq didn’t pretend to understand how girls brains worked then, and he still doesn’t now) and his family always had the newest gaming system at their household, and even then it wasn’t wild popularity. but it was enough that barely anyone teased him for his thick french accent anymore, and yk what jaq would take it. he weirdly got even more popular with the guys in his grade when they found out about his youtube channel. they found it funny, and they would generally watch his videos and come tell him about their favourite parts later, ask him about how he got past a certain level or learned a certain cheat. jaq soaked up their admiration like a sponge, right into his ego. they were the beginning of jaq getting the big head he proudly sports today.

that said for most second form jaq’s youtube channel was just a hobby. something he did for fun. like i said earlier, jaq actually did really well in school and his parents always expected him to follow in his father’s footsteps and go into something in business. after all, it would be an easy transition with both french and english under his belt. they knew he would excel.

but then he met madi. and somehow the two started doing videos together for fun, and it quickly expanded into something a lot bigger. something that jaq wouldn’t have even dreamed of doing before. suddenly the picture perfect future he had planned for himself just seemed boring in comparison to what he and madi had going on, and so jaq easily picked that instead. his parents weren’t all that happy about it, of course, after all jaq had full scholarships to some schools just waiting for him to accept and he ignored all of them in favour of making videos of him playing games online. they still don’t understand, but jaq doesn’t really need them too. he’s happy with what he’s doing and he figures he can always go into business when he’s old and boring.

he moved out of his parents house straight into an apartment with madi when things between them started getting really tough. they can’t really speak without the whole ‘we’re so disappointed in you’ conversation coming up so jaq doesn’t really speak to them unless he has to. both of his older siblings went into business like their parents wanted, and his younger siblings are on the same path. his little sister wants to be just like him though, and that warms his heart tbh.

has come to TWENTIES to have a good time! wants to break into the acting industry like dylan o’brien and maybe show his parents that a ‘real’ career can come from something like this. his parents begged him not to come on this show and embarrass them so that is definitely what he’s about to do.

HEADCANNONS. there are a lot of people who need to shut up. not me though

thinks he’s funny! sometimes he is

will answer to jacques, jaq, jaqi, or q! you can call him daingerfield if you want but not many people do

fun fact, made his instagram handle as a joke, much like awkwafina. was just supposed to a little dig about how many times he has to say ‘jack with a q’ whenever someone spells his name. but now the dangerous q is his brand, and just finds it really dumb and funny.

a bit of a kleptomaniac. will swipe something he thinks is cool mostly just to do it. has very little impulse control. loves to pull pranks and generally make trouble, but not in a way that will ever actually hurt anybody because he’s not a whole idiot. not the biggest fan of cops.

is an artist. will spray paint your walls and probably has spray painted the walls of his apartment. will doodle weird things all over napkins or receipts or whatever he can get his hands on. has drawn out little video game characters he wants to be in his future games, and actually is considering going to school for a video game programming degree just for that. the funny thing is with his grades he could probably do it. is teaching himself coding in the mean time.

the type of person to start drumming on the counter or desk with his hands or like pencils or pens when he’s bored. will make up fun little raps on the spot.

incredibly intelligent but doesn’t like to talk about it. would much rather act dumb than act like he has any braincells. he doesn’t want to give anyone expectations.

all the youtube success has definitely gone to his head in the way that?? he just thinks they’re untouchable like he cannot compute the concept of their channel failing or their future endeavors failing. definitely thinks that TWENTIES will lead to much bigger things for them. will walk into his future acting auditions like he’s the shit.

an introvert with extrovert tendencies. needs to be by himself to chill out and recharge but can like work a room honestly. can make friends pretty much everywhere he goes. a bit of a charmer when he wants to be.

a smoker unfortunately. also a bit of a stoner. definitely has a juul on him at all times, like i said he tends to keep it behind his ear and then be like ???? where’s my juul.

needs glasses but refuses to wear them. is very stubborn about it tbh. does not want to get contacts because he hates the idea of putting something into his eye. so you can catch him squinting sometimes like a fool.

one of the first things he treated himself to with his first big youtube check like outside of rent was a tattoo! it’s on his ribs and it’s just a drawing he did himself but he loves it and it was the start of an addiction. he has about five. also has a few helix and orbital piercings on his left ear.

another muse of mine with a tiktok, but jaq just uses his to make music for the most part. will turn the mickey mouse club house theme song into bars! (if you’ve seen that tiktok,,,, ily)

a big nerd. reads comic books. watches anime. will get very reasonably upset about the avatar the last airbender movie whenever it’s brought up.

can cook really well, but whenever he does it it’s pure chaos. like julian/brad leone in the kitchen for sure. but the food comes out tasting really good, so???

is jewish af. knows a bit of hebrew and a bit of yiddish because of his grandparents mostly. is kind of ??? a lot more lenient with things now that he’s not around his parents as often i’m ngl.

brings his ds everywhere and you can literally catch him on the bus vaping and playing animal crossing because he hasn’t bothered to get a american license yet

is always willing to take a picture with a subscribers and they’re always the weirdest thing. there are pictures of subscribers like pretending to stab him in the eye. prom pose pictures with subscribers. the weirder the better tbh

has gone to vidcon a few years in a row, always has the wildest time. there is video footage of him waking up in some strangers bathtub with a feather boa around his neck. it’s probably on instagram.

is also bi af.

WANTED CONNECTIONS. very proud to announce that i am officially a lost cause!

BEST FRIENDS.

A BROMANCE.

FWB/EWB.

EXES.

FANS OF HIS YOUTUBE VIDEOS.

and here’s his wanted tag, i forgot to do the same for haisley so here is her wanted tag.

and many more, y’all this took so long and i’m so tired but like this and i will slide into your dms for plots!

#twenties:intro #i have completely exhausted myself omg #rip #( intro. )#any typos in this can stay idec anymore

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jason-todd-deserved-better · 5 years

Text

Vampire AU - Tim Drake x Reader Headcanon

A/N: And I’m back, in under a month and with a Tim Drake story! So hell must be freezing over, but this story was inspired by @write-it-motherfuckers with this prompt. (If you guys haven't checked them out, then I suggest that you do because they are amazing and if you're in a rut then reading their prompts will definitely help!) Either way, I hope you guys like it and let me know what you guys think! Love y’all!

Warning: There is a good amount of violence and death, plus graphic depictions of messed up stuff (a whole lot of gore). So if you don’t like that stuff, then please do not read. Please stay safe.

Summary: You bring home an injured bat, but all isn’t as it seems and you may have an issue on your hands when you accidentally bleed on the little guy.

Animals have always been deeply ingrained in your heart of hearts.

You were raised in a household that respected any and all animals, with your parents being park rangers, this was a given.

Also, the fact that you and the rest of the family had a bit of wolf blood in there mixed up as well.

Though only a couple of people in your family could even change, your father included.

You and your siblings, on the other hand, didn’t have that ability.

It wasn’t really an issue though, your parents loved you all the same, and your dad had no problem with that at all.

Plus you got to ride on his back in wolf form when you were little, and that was a lot of fun from what you could remember.

You had a relatively normal childhood though, and it was as peaceful as it could get.

Everyone has to grow up though, and for college, you decided to go to Gotham University, much to your parent’s displeasure.

But your mind was set, and that’s where you went.

At first, it was a hard transition, to be surrounded by forests, then to steel buildings that were higher than any tree could ever get.

Plus they weren’t lying when they said Gotham was a crime-ridden city.

You usually didn’t have to worry about the supernatural creatures around you, as your scent was one of a Were’s, and no one wants to mess with a Were.

As long as no one knew that you couldn’t turn into a wolf than you would be fine.

It was the normal humans that you had to worry about though.

Which means the odds of getting mugged were still very high.

Your parents knew this, so they gave you a small can of pepper spray

And even if you had to use the pepper spray, it would suck for both you and your assailant as your sense of smell was also enhanced because of your wolf genes.

But if you needed it, then you’d use it.

Time passes though, and the next thing you knew is that you were graduating relatively soon and you had a lovely internship at a recovery center/veterinary hospital on the edge of Gotham.

You absolutely loved the place, it was almost your home away from home as it was tucked into a wooded area that could still be considered Gotham, but was far enough for the trees not to be surrounded by concrete.

But because it was kinda in the woods and also a makeshift recovery center (Gotham really sucks in nature preservation, in literally all aspects.), you’d get all different kinds of animals like owls, deer, bats, and even wolves funnily enough.

Tonight was a rough night though, as people were running in to get help for their animals as some villain was going around and destroying everything in its path.

Basically, you guys were packed with injured dogs and cats, while also housing the already sick animals.

But your day wasn’t over as your boss, Jules, runs in with a small bat bleeding in her hands.

The older women put the bat on the table, and you were quick to help her patch them up.

“Found the poor thing outside by my car,” Jules says, disinfecting the various cuts on its body. “He was probably hit by shrapnel from the attack, funny how he made it here though,”

“Well at least you saw him before we closed for the night,” You say, pulling out the gauze and bandages.

Jules nodded her head in agreement, “You have no idea, Sweet Pea.”

She was very much the old grandmother type, and she had taken great care in making sure that you and the rest of the staff were well taken care of.

Plus no one would want to get on her bad side as there would be a couple of hexes coming their way as she was one of the elder witches of Gotham.

Yeah, no one messes with Jules.

Once you guys finished working on the injured bat, you guys went to put it in with the rest of the animals, but there was an obvious problem.

The whole building was loaded with animals, wild and domestic.

You hear Jules tired curse next to you. “Well looks like I’ve got to take this little guy home,”

Immediately you didn’t like that, she had been working all day and all you could tell that the past day's events were wearing her down.

“Hey don’t worry about it Jules, I’ll take care of him,” At first she was about to say no, but by the look you gave her, she knew that you wouldn’t take no as an answer.

“You sure you can handle it Sweet Pea?” She asked. “I know you’re just as tired as me,”

“Of course, we used to take care of these guys all the time back at home,” You say with a smile. “Plus Jules, we wouldn’t want you to get another familiar,”

With a slight laugh, she hands over the bat and pinches your side jokingly. “Oh you kids are gonna be the death of me, either that or a house is gonna fall on my head,”

“Hey, you said it, not me,” You laugh at her joke, being careful with the bat in your hands.

And with that, you guys closed the shelter and were on your separate ways home.

While driving to your apartment though (You made sure that your building was nowhere near the destruction before you left.), you kept smelling something odd in your car.

It wasn’t a bad smell, but it was one that you’ve never been in contact with.

Only did you realize it was the bat as it traveled with both of you to the hallway of your apartment.

“Okay my dude, you kinda smell,” You mutter, unlocking your apartment door. “Well can’t really worry about that now, can we?” You say placing him in a shoebox that you had lying around after you laid a hand towel over the bottom.

The funny thing is, was that he didn’t really fuss, not when Jules had him, not in the car ride home and not now as he gazed at you.

You found it weird, but you chalked it up to the stress the little guy had already gone through.

You didn’t see the expression on its face when you said it stunk, like who are you to talk? Your smell wasn’t human either!

After putting him in the box, you went to the kitchen taking the tiny bat with you, and placing him on the counter.

Pulling fruits out of the fridge, your main goal was to see if you could get him to eat anything, which would be an excellent sign for the little guy.

Pulling out a knife, you started going to work on half of a banana, when your hand slips and you nicked the side of your finger, blood beginning to trickle out of the wound.

Cursing, you pick up the box and head to the bathroom, trying not to get blood on the little guy as you jogged to your bathroom where you kept your first aid kit.

You placed the box on the bathroom counter, a couple drops of blood falling on the face of the bat.

All of a sudden there was a heavy weight on your chest, and your vision was filled with black and red.

Yelping, you immediately fell back, expecting to hit the back of your head with the end of your shower when at the last minute you were stopped by hand cupping the back of your neck, saving you from the fall.

Feeling his strong body press up against yours, you see a torn up mask revealing a blackened eye, with the remnants of a shredded mask.

“Thank you, I really needed that.” He says, an embarrassed smile on his face.

He lifts you up and pulls away, you noticing the insignia on his chest as one of the ones you’d see all the time on the news.

But that doesn’t stop you from yelling out, because blacked out eyes mean one thing.

You had a goddamn vampire in with you in your bathroom.

Which causes you to lash out, throwing a shampoo bottle at his head.

“AH HEY!” He yelps out, more out of shock than real pain but you were completely freaking out, “I’m not going to hurt you!”

“Holyshitholyshitholy-” You were trying to find other things to throw but were stopped when your arms were pushed to our sides and held there.

“Please stop, I promise I’m not going to hurt you,” He says slowly, you notice his eyes turning more human, revealing that his irises were an icy blue.

Even the wounds that he had were starting to close, most likely due to the blood that was smeared across his lips.

“Shit” You shakily say, finishing the thought you had, now too scared to move.

Slowly, he lets go of your arms, making sure that you weren’t going to start throwing things at him again.

“Yeah, you’re right about that,” He says starting to back up, only to collapse when he puts weight on his right leg.

On instinct, you go to catch him because well you’re a decent person who acts before they actually think.

There was an alarm going through your head, but you ignored it as you pulled him out of the bathroom and towards the couch in the living room.

Plus Red Robin was one of the good guys right? You thought.

With a grunt from the both of you, you dropped him on your couch.

He was heavier than he looked, and you weren’t strong like your dad or any other wolf you knew.

Tim wasn’t focused on that but your heart rate was going crazy, he picked up on that.

“Um your hand is still bleeding,” He motions with his head, regretting that as he felt the world tilt in that second.

You glance down at your hand, seeing a small stream of blood dripping all over the place.

Cursing you go back to the bathroom and quickly taking care of that, then coming back to the living room where Red Robin was looking a little better but still was looking a little sick.

“Are you okay?” You ask him.

“Yeah, just need a little while for the world to stop spinning,” He says, eyes closed.

“I-Is that normal for a vampire?” You ask, your nerves getting to you.

Plus you only knew the bare minimum on vampires.

“Meh, I got hit pretty hard so it’ll hurt for a while, it’ll go slower because it was only a couple drops of blood I got.” You stiffen at that. “Don’t worry though, I’m not going to take any more from you.”

You let out a soft sigh of relief.

He opens his eyes slowly, ”Thanks by the way.”

“Well, I’m not going to say no problem, but you’re welcome I guess,” You say, glancing at your cut hand.

“I’m surprised you didn’t change though, most other Weres would tear me apart the second I changed back.”

Okay time for damage control, no one needs to know that you can’t morph.

“I prefer not to turn any time I’m scared, then it’s harder to control myself.” You say, knowing that was the reason why your father never changed when scared.

“Mhm,” He mumbles. “Gotta love those animal instincts…”

“But turning into a bat can’t be that bad, no carnal rage, just to fruit.” You state.

“Yeah, and the occasional moth as well.” Okay now that sounded gross, plus poor moth.

“Oof,” You cringe. “That kinda sucks.”

He laughs at that, “You have no idea.”

Red Robin stayed in your apartment for a while, until his wounds were healed and he wouldn’t fall out of the sky because the world would continue to spin.

It wasn’t the last time that you saw him though.

Every once in a while, while sitting in your living room, either watching TV or working on homework, you would see a flash of red in the corner of your eye.

Sometimes you’d catch him and wave, causing him to shyly wave back then fly off into where ever else he needed to go.

It almost became a routine as you’d see him do this at least once a week.

Eventually, you were starting to get tired of this though, and he could tell so as he was about to leave, he was surprised to see you get up and open the window you saw him through.

“Okay, enough of the staring contests, do you want to come in?” You call out.

A boyish smile grows on his face as he turns, flying in through your window, settling on your couch before turning back.

But then his nerves hit him like a brick. “Hehehe… Hi.”

“Hey,” You say, rolling your eyes as you plop down next to him on the couch. “Now what would you rather watch, Brooklyn Nine-Nine or Jane the Virgin?”

And that is how your friendship with Red Robin started, with a couple episodes of Brooklyn Nine-Nine.

Either way, time flew by and graduation passed in the breeze but you stayed in Gotham, as Jules demanded offered to hire you full time (She was worried about the bat incident, but you reassured her that you were fine even if it turned out to be a vampire.)

So everything was going pretty well for you, and you couldn’t be happier.

But you were in for a rude awakening.

You had a day off, so you spent that time cleaning your apartment, as it was getting cluttered and you couldn’t keep living this way.

All was well until a large hole was blown into the wall of your apartment and you were thrown across the room from the impact.

You barely had time to moan your discomfort as you were brought up by the collar of your shirt, choking you as you were lifted up.

With blurry vision, you see the face of the Scarecrow, and the next thing you knew, there was a sharp green gas filling your vision.

Your heart was racing as you processed that it was his fear gas, a choked out yell escaping your lips as you heard his demonic laugh.

Then all of a sudden you weren’t in your apartment anymore, now you were in front of the animal hospital.

You saw the fire start at the far corner of the building, but it was gaining ground quickly, so you dashed inside.

Getting burned wasn’t on your mind, but the animals inside and when you ran in you could pick up the smell of burning flesh.

It made your stomach recoil, and you ran towards every cage, kennel, and room.

What you saw in every one of those rooms couldn’t ever be unseen.

The burnt remains of the dogs and cats you were taking care of, the smell burning your insides while the smoke burned your lungs and eyes.

You weren’t sure if you were bawling more from the smoke or the sick animals that were in your care.

You got your answer as you ran down the hallway.

The smell started to change, it was still a burn but it made your insides curdle, and you could feel bile coming up your throat.

In there you saw a large mass, curled up in the middle of one of the kennels.

Even though the body was grotesquely chard, you knew it was Jules.

You would know her everywhere.

A horrified sob leaves your burning throat, covering your mouth you turn away, not being able to process what you were seeing.

But in the kennel, you were now facing yanked out a horrified wail from you.

In there was your family, huddled together but were very dead, your father in wolf form trying to cover the rest of your family but failed as they all were burned.

All the strength in your body left, your knees collapsing under you, and you were ready to go with the rest of your family.

Curling into yourself, you sob feeling the flames lick at your skin, searing away your very being.

But it all went dark, and everything felt numb to you.

Lifting up your head slowly, your tear stained eyes look up, and all you see is darkness around you.

It might be dark, but you could feel him nearby.

“R-Red?” You choke out, your eyes looking all over for him.

“You could have saved them you know.” His voice was cold, colder than anything you’ve ever heard escape his lips.

Your eyes continue to water, “What-”

“If you had turned, you could have saved them all” You see his silhouette in the distance.

“Red, I-I can’t-” All of a sudden there was a hand at your throat choking you of air.

“You’re useless, you can’t do anything on your own,” His grip tightens. “The sad thing is, that's all you want to do, but poor and weak little (Y/N) can’t do anything.”

He lets go of your throat, dropping your body hard on the ground.

Coughing, you feel the tears continue to pour down your face, “Red, why-”

He grabs you by the throat again, “But you aren’t completely useless, oh no.” You can see the points of his teeth grow, his eyes turning black. “You’re blood is still pumping,”

And with that, he attacks your neck, biting down into the flesh and going straight through to the artery.

You felt his teeth stab into you, a red flash of pain going through your very being.

You felt yourself slipping away into nothing, the dark encompassing you until you finally slipped away.

That was the end of it all, you thought.

But your eyes fluttered open, now blinded by artificial and sterile light.

It took you a couple moments to take in the lights, they were still too bright, but you could now see the rest of the room.

From what you could tell it was a hospital, from the thin tubes connected to your arm to the inclined bed that you were on.

You didn’t notice the body next to you until you felt someone softly grab your hand.

If you could have jumped three feet in the air, then you would have, but you were clearly drugged up on pain meds.

You’ve never seen him without his costume, but you knew his smell anywhere.

And you instinctively put a hand on your neck to feel for a bite, remembering everything from your dream, but not finding anything.

Then you remembered what happened in your apartment.

Fear gas.

None of it was real.

Your family was okay, and you were alive.

Holy crap you actually survived that.

“Well, I’ll try not to take offense to that…” He says squeezing your other hand softly.

Letting out a little chuckle, you slowly put your hand down. “Well, I’m alive so deal with it,”

“I couldn’t let you die, (Y/N),” He says, glancing down in shame. “I would have done anything to prevent you from going through that.”

“I-I know, Red,” You say, gripping his hand a little tighter.

“It’s Tim,” He says, glancing up at you.

Oh wow.

He actually gave you his real name.

“Tim?”

“Yep, that's my name.”

“Wow, I thought I’d never see the day.” You laugh slightly.

“Well, you almost didn’t so it’s best to do it now before I don’t get another chance to.”

Squeezing his hand, you get the courage to give him the only secret you had.

“Since we’re clearing out the air, I got to tell you something too,” Courage don't fail me now you think, “I can’t turn.”

A momentary confusion falls across his face, then he made sense of your words.

“Well that makes sense now,” He smiles slightly, “I was surprised when you didn’t bite my head off that first night.”

Rolling your eyes you smile at him fondly, “There now we both know each other's darkest secret.”

“Meh,” He shrugs. “Some are darker than others.”

With a laugh, you lightly smack his side. “Whatever Tim.”

He chuckles, rubbing his side and lays his head on your wrist that he put on the bed, kissing the inside of your wrist.

With that display of affection, blood rushes to your face, causing him to let out a loose smile.

You guys grew closer after that, it only seemed natural that you guys would get together after this.

It took a little while, but in between moving you to another (much safer) apartment in the city, and keeping your family at bay. (Your dad was pissed, he was ready to tear off anyone’s and everyone’s head off because no one messes with his little girl. It was mostly the wolf talking though.)

So with many weeks of video calls and the “are you alright” texts, your life went back to normal.

Well with the addition of a certain vampire boyfriend of yours, that was new.

Heck, there was even a massive moment of deja vu when there was a bat you had to take in because it was overcrowded in the center.

You just finished getting the little thing to eat when your window was opened, and Tim climbed through, still in costume.

When he sees you, he has to stop and look at the scene beforehand, because what?

“She’s just a normal bat, Tim, Jules made sure,” You say, your focus on the bat.

He shoulders relax, and an embarrassed laugh escapes his lips, “Yeah I knew that,”

“Uh huh, sure you did,” You laugh, getting her comfortable in the towel covered shoebox before walking up to your boyfriend, amusement on your face. “Plus, she doesn’t stink like someone I know.”

“Oof low blow there babe.” He says, a fake pain in his voice, only to be followed with a chuckle when you pull his mask off.

“I’m sorry,” You apologize in a seductively sweet tone. “Let me make it better.”

“Oh please do,” And with that you kiss him, pouring your soul into it, and you wouldn’t have it any other way.

#tim drake x reader #tim drake imagine #tim drake headcanon #tim drake imagines #Tim Drake #red robin x reader #red robin imagine #red robin headcanon #Red Robin #DC Headcanon #dc imagine #DC comics #dc comics imagine #dc #robin #robin headcanon #robin x reader #robin imagine

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wethesoc-i-ety-blog · 5 years

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List of LGBTQ+ Media

Feel free to add on to this! Please, if you do, put the name of the source down, and if you want, where you can find it, and some thoughts on it! To clarify, I’m listing pieces of media with:

- Healthy representation - please, no 2018 LeFou. No-one needs that. - ‘Real’ representation - i.e. not queer-baiting (which is why Voltron should not be added to this list) - Present representation - no gay side characters who are solely present for the purpose of being gay and providing writers with a chance to look diverse, in hard quotations.

Video:

The Politician (2019)

I binged this on a Tuesday, and I’m an IB Student, so you know it’s gotta be good.

Starring Ben Platt, the former star of the revolt of a musical Dear Evan Hansen, and his co-star Laura Dreyfuss, this show is absolutely magnificent representation in the sense that it is completely normalising, in a way that made me tear up and laugh and feel deeply inspired throughout and after I was done with it. This show is gorgeous, with a rich colour pallet and a deeply intense sense of fashion; if that’s not enough to make you watch it, it’s basically a run of a US election scaled down to a high school, and at this point (October 26th, 2019) scaled up to a localised senate election, which it does hugely well at representing.

When I talk about the show being normalising, I mean this: you know character tropes? Twisting, turning plot lines of romances that are usually confined to straight folks? This show throws forth multiple fleshed-out, informed, refined romantic and non-romantic relationships between queer characters, never parading its LGBTQ+ themes for the media but nonetheless including them in a way that I have never seen so whole-heartedly done before and I was deeply impressed by. I won’t spoil too much, but here’s the thing: a wlw relationship, a mlm relationship and a relationship between a non-binary character and female character are all included, and all of them are well fleshed out, meshing well with the story and not just ‘there for the sake of it’, as I know can become an issue. There’s an LGBTQ+ person of colour, too. And I know this shouldn’t be something I have to say, but all the queer characters are played by queer people, and that’s pretty great for media repping.

I love this show, can you tell? No spoilers - but the first song is a miracle.

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Steven Universe (2013)

She says, running away.

Steven Universe follows, funnily enough, Steven Universe, on his quest to develop the powers he derives from the magical gem on his bellybutton, in order to become a better help to and eventual member of the Crystal Gems, a group of gems taking human forms who fight against the gems of Homeworld, the gem home planet, to defend the Earth, an organisation set up by Steven’s mother, Rose Quartz, whose gem he now possesses. Wild, I know. It gets wilder.

This show started airing in 2013, a relatively-early time for LGBTQ+ media with proper representation of healthy relationships as well as unhealthy ones. It is a kids’ show, fundamentally, so some issues are oversimplified, but in my experience, growing up with this show was fundamental not only to normalising my own sexuality for myself but to understanding what constitutes a healthy relationship. The show is very much central around this concept; what is ‘healthy’, and in turn, what represents ‘unhealthy’ relationship dynamics? On top of that, it also deals with a traditionally feminine protagonist who is male and, from what we understand, straight, combatting masculinity stereotypes which are particularly damaging. A great show to hand your kids or younger siblings, because it’s got a huge plot line, and now that the show’s finished, it lacks the issues of upload schedules which it had had before when new episodes were constantly being produced.

The gems are all ‘feminine’ (though they avoid some criticism, I think, because they’re literal rocks and therefore cannot be gendered) and are referred to as she/her for the length of the series; they undergo a process called fusion by which they can combine their bodies to create a product larger than both their parts, an oversimplified but useful framing of a relationship. These fusions can be forced - unhealthy - or desired - healthy. In this way, gems commonly match up, giving good representation, even if it is slightly forfeited by the fact that they’re not human, to wlw relationships, and in ways that address unhealthy dynamics as well as healthy ones that can also apply to straight relationships.

The show is heavily left-wing, so if that’s not exactly your thing, be wary. I’m not here to argue about what’s right and wrong about the show - just to say that it’s got good representation, and if you’re down for a little suspension of belief, this is the way to go.

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Love, Simon (2017)

One of the most mature pieces of coming-out story fiction I’ve ever seen. It gets flack because it’s popular, but it’s popular for a reason, and many many many of my friends have had a personal experience with themselves in watching this film. Simon is a teenager struggling with an undercover mlm relationship and with coming to terms with his sexuality while also being a high school student. When word gets out about his sexuality at school, he has to deal with that on top of everything else, too.

If you’re going to watch a teen movie, this is the one to take a stab at. The material is sensitively handed; the show deals with a troublesome parental situation in terms of Simon’s eventual coming out, as well, which is unusual for these types of movies. Usually it’s either radically ‘you’re gay so we want you out of our home’ or ‘you’re gay and we accept you’ but here there’s a good balance between the two that still resolves itself non-problematically, with a great conclusion to the undercover relationship that will appeal to theatrics. This movie also deals with the issue of outing, which is something that surprisingly few people understand well, in a context that is terrifying for the protagonist. He is not prepared to come out, and deals with positive and negative consequences; the movie does a good job at giving both sides equal time, and at producing resolutions to those situations that aren’t unbelievable.

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Adventure Time

I have to confess that I stopped watching AT in the same religious sense that I did as a child early on, but I resumed my watching when I reached that queer milestone of recognising characters as gay and seeing Marceline and Bubblegum, as I think they were always intended to be, as those two lesbians we can all relate to. I don’t feel like this is a spoiler because most people know already, and because there are hints from the beginning - it’s just a question of whether or not it’ll be properly fulfilled.I love how they finished the series, because it wasn’t a Voltron ending where the ‘will they or won’t they’ ends in ‘they won’t, because of our producers’, as opposed to ‘they will, because we’re finishing what we started’. No spoilers, but there’s gayPDA, which is important, especially in kids’ shows, because it shows that yes, we do kiss each other, and yes, it is possible. Our faces don’t repel like opposite sides of a magnet.The queer characters are archetyped stereotypically as goth and geek and not as the typical butch and prep thing you see with lesbian representation, which is great because the show is focusing on the people themselves and recognising the LGBTQ+ part of those characters as factions of their personalities, not the other way around, the best way to normalise. Great times.

Youtube:

Thomas Sanders

I, I think like many other older viewers, started watching Thomas Sanders because of his web series, Sanders Sides (which is a whole other boat of representation for mental health considerations, but we won’t get into that), and fell in to his other contact like a little queer magpie clicking on rainbows.

His video on Pride discusses a lot of useful stuff, in a lowkey fashion, for people all over the spectrum and for those not really sure what the spectrum is. How can I stress that he needs to be shown in schools to groups of young people? He’s all about positivity, respect and being openly proud, not just LGBTQ+-wise but also generally - and his channel features a very diverse group of invested people, so if you’re looking for down-to-earth, unstrained representation, this is where it is.

mackdoesit

Basically a big ???

Hosting such great video titles as REACTING TO ANTI-GAY COMMERCIALS BECAUSE I’M GAY, Mack is one of those Youtubers you watch when you’re comfortable with yourself and just want to enjoy some gay shit. You can’t go anywhere on his channel without seeing a rainbow flag. If nothing else, he’s great because he is so openly embracing of his sexuality without even needing to state that he is; it’s so evident in how often and how well he talks about it that he’s comfortable and it sets a great example of where you should want to be in terms of yourself, especially if you’re young and uncertain of where you are on the spectrum.

Miles McKenna

Ah!!!

Miles started his (now completed) transition (ftm) in early 2017, with a video entitled ‘So I’m Trans’, having previously identified as female and a lesbian. I started watching Miles, then Amanda, early on in 2015 because he was deeply constructive as an image of a lesbian role model for me, when I thought I identified the same way; since then, there have been a few changes and I now watch him as a queer icon and as an excellent educational tool.

Miles posted this great video in April of 2018, I AM MILES, showing snapshot clips of his transition over the year since he started T, and it’s honestly deeply emotional, personal and, critically, a great demonstration of transitioning, its struggles, and its benefits for the person going about it. I have learned a lot from Miles - generally and also about myself - and I would recommend his channel to anyone off the bat. There’s some good stuff in there - including a classic ‘things get better’ scenario, because his deeply religious mother, who had rejected him for years on the basis of his sexuality and then transition, has recently started participating in Miles’ videos.

Eugene Lee Yang (another Youtuber, attached to the Try Guys)

Watch I’m Gay by Eugene. I’m serious. That video didn’t change my life, but it changed my perception of what I needed from queer media icons, and this fulfilled some part of me never touched before.

Eugene is openly gay, and has been for some time; his videos have also centred around his experience as a drag queen, which is a very rarely well-represented field and should be exposed more by people accessing young audiences. Go, watch. He’s good for the soul.

Books:

Aristotle and Dante Discover the Secrets of the Universe, Benjamin Alire Sáenz

My favourite book. I actually picked this up because a Youtuber I used to watch, John Green (who wrote Will Grayson, Will Grayson, another LGBTQ+ staple which I haven’t personally read yet but intend to) recommended it in a video list. It follows Aristotle (Ari) and his life in Mexico in friendship with a boy he meets at a swimming pool, Dante. They bond over their unusual names and Dante’s proclivity for reading, poetry and swimming; the book follows their friendship’s progress after he moves to Chicago and has to write rather than talk to Ari.

Without spoilers: Aristotle and Dante is this tremendous achievement because it describes a person’s struggle with their sexuality in the frame of international content and masculinity, two things which pose a huge threat in some circumstances to a person’s journey with their sexuality. Both of the titular characters witness a sharp, studied detailing of their progress into accepting themselves, in the context of their lives and stories, in a way that is deeply touching and, on your first time reading it, so cleverly executing that when the moment comes it’s genuinely surprising. I lay down and thought about my life for a few hours after finishing it in one go. It’s not a difficult read - Sáenz writes beautifully - but it is emotionally challenging, so watch yourself.

Please go read it!

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Simon versus the Homo Sapiens Agenda, Becky Albertalli

This is the origin story for Love, Simon, so everything I said about her applies the same for this one. I have to betray my book-loving instincts and say that I didn’t actually enjoy the book all that much, at least not as much as I adored the movie - by the time I finished this one, I had already read all the other books on this list and come to the conclusion that I was sated with representation for a while, so I wasn’t really wowed until the movie came out. That being said, if you’re not a fan of movies, the book is just as well-written as the others on here, and honestly provides you with a better-developed story just simply because of the fact that it’s a book.

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They Both Die at the End, Adam Silvera

Before Aristotle and Dante, this was my go-to recommendation for queer reading. Adam Silvera is a beautiful person and writes a lot of good LGBTQ+ stuff, but They Both Die in the End has that quality of life-ending-ness and inevitability about it that makes it devastating to you as you’re reading up to the end, because, obviously, you already know what’s going to happen.

How do I describe this book? Two boys meet each other on their death day, something predicted by a mysterious agency who can’t tell you when, where, or how, except that you will die within the next 24 hours, and it could be in 30 minutes or in 23.5 hours. It isn’t the type of book I’d normally read, and it also isn’t the type of book that has what I like to call ‘the queer outset’, which is nice, because Silvera isn’t baiting his readers. It was this pleasant surprise in the end when you uncover the LGBTQ+ part of it that justifies its classification under the LGBTQ+ shelf at Waterstones.

It changed my life completely outside the realm of LGBTQ+ stuff, just because I consider every moment more precious, now - but in truth the representation of a mlm relationship here is excellent, and I was and am struck to the core by it.

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* I want to put C. N. Adichie’s wonderful (hah) book, Americanah, down. The first use of LGBTQ+ characterisation is in a character from Nigeria connecting a gay man she meets at an event to witnessing the beating of a gay boy at her school in her youth. This is said in passing, but it can be triggering. There is more representation as the book goes on - I include it because it is one of those rare novels where LGBTQ+ people are side characters, but in a way that is incredibly normalising, and not for that ‘diversity’ factor.

Shows and Theatre:

Everybody’s Talking About Jamie

I have to confess, I haven’t seen this show. I’m asking for tickets for my eighteenth.

That aside, I heard from my friend, who recently transitioned, that it was great. The show follows an aspiring drag queen, Jamie, in a British state school - that in itself is great for us Brits, who don’t often have that LGBTQ+ representation in our media except for if its transitioned over from the States, but drag queens don’t get much representation in the media either, especially few cases that are healthy and constructive.

History Boys, Alan Bennett

I put this play on last year with a group of English Literature students who read the play and loved it; unsurprisingly, all those students are now a part of SOC(I)ETY, my school’s GSA, which speaks to the nature of the text. It follows a group of state school students in the UK (again, go Brit representation!) who are applying to Oxbridge for History and return to school for a seventh term after their A-Levels to be coached on how to pass the exams. The boys are strung between the new substitute Oxbridge tutor, Irwin, who is regimentally focused on pass marks, and Hector, their longtime English teacher, with a more nebulous style of teaching. The boys progress through the preparation time taking sides with these teachers.

Here’s the thing. There are four queer characters in this play: Posner, a young Jewish (!) boy who is openly gay for Dakin; Dakin, another student, arrogant and who is later revealed to be attracted to (although this can be challenged) Irwin; Irwin, who exhibits a level of attraction towards Dakin but is morally resolute-ish; and Hector, a homosexual and arguably a paedophile, who gropes the boys when he brings them home on his motorcycle, which they take with a good-natured grain of salt.

These characters are not necessarily healthy characters in terms of representation. Dakin represents at least a bisexual character, which is great, and Posner a relatively unproblematic Jewish LGBTQ+ figurehead; but Irwin and Hector openly discuss potential relations with the boys in one of the final scenes, and although nothing ever happens, there is the sense that it would have done had it not been for a major event in the play.

Read it if you can stomach the material. It never gets explicit physically; but there are a lot of swear words, so if that’s not your thing, be careful.

Some further ones that aren’t really great for representation, but for one reason or another deserve a spot:

High School Musical

I know this is meme’d to high hell at this point, but Chad and Ryan and I Don’t Dance are seminal moments in LGBTQ+ media representation, and quite frankly, at least in my opinion, considering when it was made, one of the best shots at introducing LGBTQ+ related concepts to young children that didn’t threaten its widespread takedown in the early days of the 2000s. As a young queer I watched every High School Musical movie the week it came out, once on the actual day and once on the weekend with my family. Looking back on it, it’s pretty insane to see how we all missed that one and yet still learned a lesson from it.

For those who haven’t heard, the song I Don’t Dance has been reconsidered recently because it hints heavily at something (loosely-defined) going on between Ryan and Chad. The main thesis of the song is this: Chad, a stereotypical high school basketball player, wreathed in typical attitudes, is confronted with Ryan, one of those early ‘meant to be LGBTQ+ characters’ from a time when it was more acceptable to represent gay men as pink-wearing, song-singing musical theatre people, and assumes that Ryan is not able to play baseball, his sport of choice at this time. Ryan smashes it, of course (we stan a queen), over the course of the song, proving him wrong while also doubling back on the idea that Chad himself says that he doesn’t dance.

Note the wording here: not I Can’t Dance, it’s I Don’t Dance. The implications here are clear. The song, at the very least, works with defeating stereotypes associated with masculinity, which is a hugely-pressing issue to this day and deserves more appreciation like this in the media; but the undertones of LGBTQ+ presence in both of these characters is there and important. Ryan himself is one of the less offensive, at least in my opinion, versions of this ‘flamboyant man’ archetype and therefore has some credit as a character for introducing that concept to young kids anyway, but Chad hits differently. Because he’s a jock. Because he’s a high schooler, a sports player, and, clearly, was intended to be LGBTQ+. And don’t we need more representation like that?

Lil Nas X

Please follow this man’s Twitter. That is all.

As I said, please do add to this! I hope you all indulge.

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prouddly-me · 6 years

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My Name Is Gavin: My Full Pre-Transition Story

So, My story begins as a 11/12 year old. That’s when I can remember the most, so that’s what I’ll talk about. I remember that I went to the boys and girls club every day with my little brother in the summer. I had a little group of friends, and they were all boys. This was one of the first distinct times I can remember the feeling of not really being... a girl, the way I was “supposed” to be. I never aligned myself with feminine things. And no, gender roles are something I no longer care about or really adhere to, but as a child like that, it was my first indicator. I had long hair down to the small of my back and it was one of the biggest sources of my insecurities. At the time I still hadn’t developed mammary tissue so I wasn’t uncomfortable because of that yet.

As I got a little older, into the 7th grade, I had been begging my parents to let me cut my hair, but my mother was adamant that I keep growing mine. She always cited that she had been traumatized by being forced to cut all of her hair off once as a child. I did later learn that she had gotten lice and their family was too poor to afford treatment for her long hair so they cut it off. While I understand how it could be upsetting, she should not have projected that onto me. Finally though, fate struck and I got lice myself, funnily enough, and I was finally allowed to cut my hair off. By this time I had more body dysphoria that I did not understand, so I had been wearing baggy clothes and long sleeves constantly to try and hide my increasingly feminine body.

It wasn’t much but it was anything. It wasn’t as bad and was more manageable and easier to ignore. While of course it was still upsettingly long, I could live with it. As I grew more, in the 8th grade I started to try and force myself to be more feminine to no avail. I still hated it and still revolted against it as much as I could. I kept my hair as short as my mother would allow me to keep it, and I tried my hardest to keep my clothing androgynous. I never ever wore skirts or dresses because they made me feel abhorrent. I hated it more than anything so I avoided it. My mother hated this. Any time I was forced to wear a dress (easter, other big things) my mother would always emphasize how much she loved it when I wore those things and how beautiful I was. I never felt the same. I felt ugly and disgusting and wrong moreover.

But my parents pushed for me to be feminine. My mother wanted me to wear makeup, which did develop into something I enjoy greatly, and now, I am a cosmetologist and I actually have a client I regularly do makeup on, including pride makeup. But this push by my parents to pursue more feminine interests didn’t really pan out other than me starting to like makeup. I have a hard time wearing it because I don’t feel like I pass when I wear makeup, but I love it deeply to this day.

My first distinctly short haircut came when my dad’s friend who happened to be a hair stylist told him he wanted to color and cut my hair. It was the first step in a long line of getting myself to where I wanted to be. He gave me some blonde highlights and cut it shorter. Now, I’m not such a fan of the cut on me, but back then it was a huge victory for me. Something felt better. Something was better. By this time I believe I was a freshman in high school, and I had begun using a binder that was unsafe, similar to what’s pictured below. It hurt a lot to wear but it made me feel better when I wore it. I was not binding every day due to fear that my parents would be angry at me. At this time I identified as genderfluid and had not yet chosen a new name.

With that haircut and my first binder though I started to feel more comfortable. By the beginning of my sophomore year, I now realized who I was and began identifying as a transgender male instead of genderfluid. Now, I don’t mean to say that genderfluid people just don’t know, just so that no one feels that way. In my personal journey, I misidentified myself because I didn’t really understand the way I felt yet. And that’s not bad. people question their identities all the time, and if that’s how you feel as well, I hope you become more secure. However, at this time, my parents actually pushed me to grow my hair back out. They didn’t say it outright but they would never take me to get my hair cut, so it was getting... out of control and my image was all wrong to me. At this time, I finally settled on a name that I would later change. I was Chase Jason. I changed it to Elliott in my senior year of high school to keep my original initials.

Finally, it took my mother telling me she hated my ugly combover and starting an argument with me to get a really, really good haircut that I loved and that made me feel more like me again. We went to my dad’s friend, and I told him exactly what I wanted. Sadly.. he went a little longer, because he wanted to avoid upsetting my parents. I understand the sentiment but now that I myself am a hair stylist, I do think that I was more than old enough to decide my own haircut. It was enough though. I liked it and I kept it a similar style for a long time.

When I started to really be happy with my appearance it wasn’t until my junior year when I went to see a friend of mine at her beauty school, which I now attend as well and will be graduating from in october. I told her my identity and that I wanted an androgynous look that my parents couldn’t object to, but while preserving my masculinity. She colored it how I wanted it and cut it so that I looked amazing. I hate to really focus on the way my hair looked through the years but I feel like that really marked my progress in my transition. By this time I was binding semi regularly with yet another unsafe binder but by the middle of this year I would get my first safe binder.

At the end of my junior year I had silver hair, bound safely, and I felt so much happier with myself. I was out to my friends and had been for quite some time, and I didn’t question myself anymore. It felt so good to understand myself and be happy about it. Of course, I wasn’t out to my parents yet, and I was terrified to come out to them. That fact to this day is saddening, but is by no means my fault. My senior year was fantastic though, I got my first tattoos and I finally felt comfortable and happy and empowered in my body. The summer after I graduated, I felt like I looked the most masculine I ever could. While I was visiting my best friend to see a concert with them, They and I took this picture and to this day the way I looked makes me feel so, so happy.

From there it was easy going, appearance wise. The big struggle for me now was to get onto HRT and figure out my top surgery. However when I started college it was back to unsafe binding when I shrunk my underworks binder during a period of dysphoria where I really just hated my body and needed to change it. Though I do feel like college was the time for my absolute best looks that made me feel the most confident, I was stuck in a pretty eternal pit of... I don’t think I’ll ever make it and transition, and it got really, really hard for me.

I even took on a more masculine job as an auto tech at an oil change place to make myself feel more valid. I didn’t feel good. It was really rough. Around this time was when I started to bind less and less. I tried to wear sports bras or wear baggy clothes instead because I was starting to hurt my ribs. Like I mentioned in my introduction post to this blog, I capped off at a 38D, so I have a good bit to bind. I also... had a lot of issues with people, including a friend of mine I no longer speak to as of three year ago, who would comment on my chest. They would tell me that it was a shame I wanted to cut them off because they were so big and nice. It made me hate myself so much. It made me feel disgusting and like a freak and like I would never pass in a million years. I switched back to my really unsafe binder because it felt like I passed much more in it. Once I switched back to safe binding near the time I dropped out of college though, I realized it was a better option the entire time. Around this time was when I picked my current name, which is the name I plan to legally change my name to: Gavin Alexander.

Now we bring ourselves to last year, when I stopped binding regularly because of the pain I was in because of it. However, last year was also when I came out to my parents. Technically I came out in 2016. I did it on new years eve, because I knew my parents would be drinking and they were both milder people when they drank. So, I came out. My father has... tried. He offered to help me, and he told me that he accepts and loves me. He does not call me by my chosen name and refers to me as his daughter, but I do not hold it against him because I know he tries. My mother however, maliciously calls me the wrong name, because she feels like “I’m your mother, I get to pick your name.” so she refers to me as James when she really feels like it. But rarely. She calls me my dead name more often. My brother however, when I came out to him this most recent winter after my parent’s divorce, when he and I started to get along better, told me he had known, and that he was waiting for me to tell him. He told me he had never called me by my name and that calling me anything but the nickname he’d called me since he learned to talk would be hard. He still calls me “sis” however, he told me now he wants it to be a play on “cis” to make me feel better. I like the effort and how much he’s trying, so I like it. He also calls me bro a lot, and it’s great. Last year was also when I began to embrace more “feminine” things like makeup and the color pink again, and when I began beauty school.

And this brings us to close to present day and present day. In school I have been met with a lot of support by my classmates and friends, and I don’t have a single friend that refuses to call me Gavin. It feels amazing. I’m happier and calmer now, and last year was also when I began to seriously research and pursue HRT on my own. I struggled a lot of last and this year because I was trying to figure out a way to go through my doctor. However, my family doctor is through a catholic organization so I was trying to figure out how to switch healthcare providers. This never panned out. I even tried asking my psychiatrist to help me and give me a referral but a specialist can’t refer to a specialist. She wanted to help me more but she couldn’t. I don’t hold it against her.

This year, I’ve been working on taking care of myself better, and I haven’t been binding in order to let my ribs heal from the damage of years of unsafe binding to make sure that later when I work towards top surgery I don’t have complications. Now though I have my initial appointment for HRT at Planned Parenthood. I’ll be updating you all and doing voice and facial comparisons as well as documenting other changes and my experience with PP. Moving forward I can tell myself that It’s been me who had my own back and me who got me through this. I can’t wait to see what the future holds, and how much better things will get.

#my story #transition #hrt #pre t #pre top surgery #trans #transgender #about me #tw transphobia #tw misgendering #dysphoria

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ohscorbus · 6 years

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Harry Potter and the Cursed Child: Saturday 2nd December, 2017.

Another recap, yay! I just wanted an excuse to bring up some of the things this cast do that I love. So if you’ve seen this cast a bunch of times then this particular recap will probably be of little interest to you since most of this isn’t new information. I’m just gushing over stuff they do regularly now. Not that I get any less excited about it when it happens though...

4k+ words of Albus and Scorpius, Malfoy feels, and Samuel appreciation ♥︎

Act One, Scene Two

Ron passing James a bag of sweets while Ginny and Harry are distracted with Albus is still brilliant. I like to think Ron actively encourages the Potter kids in rebelling against their parents. What else are fun uncles for? But I also like to think it’s the worst kept secret. I know Scorpius eventually becomes the sugar supplier but before him it was definitely Ron. Harry was the worst offender. He pretended he was sharing with the kids but Ron doesn’t believe that for a second.

Act One, Scene Three

Talking of sweets, Albus is so excited about that trolley. His face lights up like a child on Christmas morning. All excitement and awe. It makes the fact that these two initially bond over sweets even sweeter. I also have no doubt there’s a tiiiiny bit of truth in his ‘I stayed for your sweets’ excuse :’)

Act One, Scene Seven

This has always been one of my favourite scenes of the play. It resonates with me more than any of the others and so a good blanket scene = a very happy Leanne. I’ll be honest and say it took a while for this cast to get this scene ‘right’ (for me anyway) but they got there a few months ago and it’s glorious. I needed to feel the raw anger and frustration and now it rolls off the stage in heartbreaking waves. To a point where, a while ago, I sat in AA15 and from there you can’t see anyone else in the audience so it was like I was alone in the room with Harry and Albus. It all felt so real, too real, and I felt the beginning of a panic attack start to kick in. That part wasn’t fun, but that’s how good that scene was. I had to mentally pull myself out of the play to remind myself it wasn’t real. It seems strange to want to thank Jamie and Theo for that but I do. Because I don’t just enjoy this play, it means something to me. To get to watch such an honest performance like that and to see a very real relationship full of love worn down by friction until it disintegrates, just for it to then come together and hold for the very same reasons? It heals you as much as it does break you. When I say this play is life changing to me, this is what I mean. It’s a five hour rollercoaster of emotions that never fails to have me in tears but at the same time, also manages to leave me walking out the theatre feeling a hundred times lighter. I guess that’s the power of theatre. You leave with more than you go in with, you know? But anyway...

Theo’s Albus is a perfect mix of anger and sadness. He looks in pain as he sits there cross legged on his bed with his arms are wrapped tightly round his middle. He’s all folded in on himself like it’s the only thing keeping him together. Like if he lets go then he’ll fall apart. Which, funnily enough, when he does drop his arms and stands up, everything does go to shit.

But yeah, I love watching Albus when he’s sat on the bed while Harry talks at him. Albus is listening but with every word you can see the cracks in their relationship widen. Albus can’t do this. He can’t have this conversation with his dad right now. His dad isn’t hearing him, isn’t seeing him, and he’s already fracturing under the pressure of his impending return to Hogwarts. This is the final straw. He’s dragging his hands down his face in exhaustion of it all. What hurts the most is that everything about Albus screams ‘hurting’ and Harry just doesn’t know what to do about it. He wants to fix it but doesn’t know how to handle it. But Albus takes this as Harry not wanting to do anything. Their relationship is a big ball of misunderstanding. They’re both as lost as each other in this scene. It’s the perfect storm. There’s so much anger and love in that room and it unfortunately collides in the worst way.

One of my favourite things about this cast and this scene is how Albus hits Harry with the blanket. Well, he kinda whips him with it really and you hear it throughout the theatre. I think it’s a brilliant addition. It shows just how quickly this whole thing got out of hand. Harry’s face when it hits him isn’t anger, but shock. Disbelief. Then Albus’s words hit home and he explodes right back.

I love that he’s hurting Harry with the blanket because it causes him pain in every sense. There’s the physical pain of being hit of course, but it’s more about what it represents. On the surface it’s a rejection of the gift which Harry takes as a rejection of him. But then it’s also the fact it’s no ordinary blanket. It’s Harry’s history. It’s exactly what Albus has been suffocating under all this time. For Harry to have offered it to him is confirmation to Albus of how much he can’t see what’s wounding him. So for Albus to literally use that to cause Harry pain right back is super interesting. Because that’s really what this whole fight is about. It’s not about the blanket, but everything that it stands for.

I also like that he’s hit in the chest and sometimes, right over his heart. It’s a nice, painful touch. Thanks Theo. Albus couldn’t be more obvious if he tried. Literally hitting Harry with the answer... poor boys : (

I’ve really grown to love Jamie G’s Harry a lot, by the way. His Harry and Theo’s Albus really have a solid connection and understanding of where their characters are at.

Wait, I forgot to talk about that line. Albus is broken by his dad’s words but they don’t shatter him because there’s a small part of him that expects it. That his dad does really think that, and that’s what breaks you. Watching Albus’s face as he registers his dad’s words and accepts them to be true so quickly. It hurts. Harry stepping forward after Albus steps back, hurts. Harry opening his arms like a hug will fix it all, like it probably did when Albus was a child, hurts. Albus ducking away and running out of the room, hurts. Watching Harry turn and start to run after Albus but then stopping himself, hurts. Because what is he going to do if he catches him? Albus doesn’t want a hug, he doesn’t want to be anywhere near him. That much is obvious. He could talk to him but he’ll only say the wrong thing… so he lets him go. I honestly don’t know how people watch this scene without crying. The fast transition from frustration to devastation is so painful to watch.

Act One, Scene Ten

You know how Scorpius is super expressive with his voice? You know, squeaky when outraged, talks fast when excited…? Well when Albus hugs him for the first time his voice drops considerably. He’s talking normally until Albus hugs him mid-sentence and then Scorpius stops. His “whoa… hello…..” is so low and deep and drawn out. He’s confused by Albus’s actions and what he’s suppose to do back so his arms just freeze where they’re held out. Bless him. He then comes to his senses and his voice goes back to normal for the ‘have we hugged before? Do we hug?’ bit. But the way his voice drops like that is A+. It’s quite comical, but then on the other hand it’s also kinda sweet. He’s so awkward when he doesn’t know what to do.

Act Two, Scene Six

Scorpius had tears in his eyes as he looked up at Hogwarts through the trees in the Forbidden Forest. Do you know how not ok this was??? It had me crying along with him. He’s just so small and clearly overwhelmed with how magical that moment is for him. It’s like he says, he dreamed of going to Hogwarts and having a friend and here he is, having achieved all that. Despite everything the world has thrown at him, he made it. I’m tearing up again just thinking about it. He’s such a precious child.

There’s just something so pure about Samuel’s face in this scene. He lights up with the whole of the theatre. It’s beautiful because the thing with this scene is that we don’t see Hogwarts, we have to ‘see’ it through their eyes and boy, does he know how to do that. There are two points in which I always get goosebumps when I’m watching this play and Samuel in this scene is one of them. (The other scene is the first Dementors one.)

I’ve probably told you this before but the first time I went to the studio tour and walked into the Great Hall, I cried. And that feeling? That’s what I see on Samuel’s face and that’s what I feel watching him. He’s so incredibly special. I just can’t put it into words.

Act Two, Scene Seven

Scorpius getting excited over Lugo Bagman. What a nerd. He leans into Albus and mimics tweaking a curly moustache. Honestly.

Albus froze when he saw teenage Harry. Scorpius kinda did the same but he also looked excited. You could see his geekiness building. He was going to implode with how awesome this all was. But then he looked at Albus and realised geeking out over his dad probably wasn’t the best of decisions. Not right now anyway. Or ever???

They look so proud of their nerdy selves after their Krum song too. Fun fact: ‘I love Krum, you love Krum, Krum is the one for everyone’ is one Theo and Samuel made up themselves. Apparently they had a few but that was the winner. I’d pay good money to hear the rest. Could I bribe you with Lumos donations, Samuel and Theo??? *flutters eyelashes*

Mackley Watch! Right, no one else around me heard this but I’m so sure he shouted, “where are your parents, Harry?” but I haven’t got anyone else to confirm this. I mean, I could ask him but then if it’s true then I’m gonna have to call him out on it :’) Mackley, you’re representing us Hufflepuffs. I know we’ve got claws but that’s a tad bit harsh. Even for us.

Also, Mackley and James Phoon using their arms to make T’s for Triwizard Touranment is too precious. I could quite happily keep this cast forever and ever.

Act Two, Scene Eight

I swear, you could see this play a thousand times and there will still be bits you miss and things you don’t see until one day, they suddenly hit you. I had one of those moments with this scene today. It was the part where Albus is waking up from his nightmare and Dumbledore is walking out of his frame. Harry is blindly patting at Albus where he’s still in bed, half heartedly trying to comfort him. It’s almost like he’s trying to keep him quiet or distract him while he finishes his conversation with Dumbledore. It’s interesting because Harry is shouting out for Dumbledore (his past) while ignoring Albus (his future). He’s so focused on his past he’s failing his future. (“We’ve been so busy trying to rewrite our own pasts, we’ve blighted their present.”) It’s obvious now but hey… I finally saw it! *high fives self*

Act Two, Scene Ten

So Scorpius is sat on the staircase in the dark above this scene and I know Anthony would always play this as Scorpius listening in and I’ve always wondered if Samuel does the same as he’s so very still. Scorpius is such a physical character, his mannerisms are everything. It’s upsetting to see him so still. If he is listening and what he’s hearing has him frozen… well that hurts a lot.

Act Two, Scene Thirteen

Fun fact: Draco is wearing a harness under his robes in this scene. I haven’t noticed before as where James’s Draco politely swipes away something on the chair, Ed’s Draco today put his foot up on it as he threw another hex at Harry. So yeah, a different stance was all it took and now I’ve seen things. Things being the harness. Yes. Moooving on…

Act Two, Scene Sixteen

If there’s one scene that everyone talks about it’s this one so I’ll keep this quite short but seven months on, I’m still blown away by Samuel’s ability to hold the entire audience in the palm of his hand as he breaks. Even when he’s stopped talking, the way he hunches in on himself in that chair, fiddling with his sleeve, and focusing on the back of the chair (he’s sat sideways) is quite possibly the saddest thing you’ll ever see. Everyone instantly falls in love with Scorpius because he’s happy and funny but now he’s exposed himself to everyone and he’s waiting for us all to walk away. Because who would want to be friends with him now? He’s shouted at Albus and spelt out very clearly all the reasons why he shouldn’t bother with him. He’s a loser. He doesn’t dare look up at Albus when he hears him pull up a chair next to him. I think when Scorpius replies with ‘always’, he truly means it. If this hasn’t broken them then nothing will. They past the test.

Act Three, Scene Three

Scorpius looks so happy when Draco talks about Astoria. They don’t talk about her, can’t, even Albus doesn’t talk about her enough. So Scorpius loses her in so many ways. It must have felt like she didn’t exist. So when he mentions her, there’s a light in Scorpius’s eyes that wasn’t there before. Despite being stuck in this awful place and his dad becoming the thing he fears the most, Scorpius smiles. You could literally see the tears as they fell off his face.

Draco today pointed at Scorpius’s heart when he spoke about there being more of her in there than he thought. It wasn’t the hand on his heart like I’d seen Ed do before but it was enough for me to still lose my cool.

I like the fact that both Albus and Scorpius are told by their fathers that they are like their mothers. I can’t put into words why… I just do. It clearly means so much to them both when they hear it. Fourteen years old and they’re still very much figuring out who they are in a world that’s already tried to force an identity onto them. It’s hard. Hearing their fathers tell them they see something else, not another Harry or Draco 2.0, must stay with them. It’s not just that, but also that they see the people they love and admire the most. How could Albus/Scorpius be disappointments when their fathers see so much of Astoria/Ginny in them, you know?

Act Three, Scene Nine

Ginny and Harry quickly run over to Albus when he gets out of the lake and drape his robe over him because he’s soaking wet. Harry tries to hug him or at least looks like he wants to go in for a hug but Albus’s body language stops him. He’s leaning forward and in on himself. He’s all hunched over and protecting himself as he holds the robes over him. He’s like… a sad baby bat. Although if anything, it kinda makes you want to hug him even more. Just saying.

Scorpius seeing the adults for the first time since returning from time is easily one of the funniest parts of this show and it’s all Samuel’s fault. He’s the most over dramatic flaily little nerd and it brings tears to my eyes every single time. He sees Harry run towards them and drops down into a squat with his arms raised straight up in the air before launching himself up into the air and jumping up and down as he squeals, “and ProfessorMcGonagallProfessorMcGonagall!!!” The best part? The adults are mostly ignoring his outburst (which probably tells you how often that boy gets like this, that excitable little bean), except Draco. He’s watching his son and Ed’s Draco face today clearly read, ‘how did I produce this?’. Draco Lucius Malfoy, don’t tell me your wife didn’t tease you relentlessly about your son inheriting your dramatics. Stop pretending to be surprised by it.

Act Three, Scene Sixteen

Can we talk about how ridiculously happy Scorpius looks when he first notices the owls in the owlery??? He’s looking up and around and then he looks over to Albus with this big goofy grin on his face that says ‘Albus! Look at the owls! The owls!!!’. But Albus is paying zero attention because he’s looking at the Time-Turner in his hands so Scorpius lets it go. But Scorpius, why? What got you all excited because it can’t be the first time you’ve been in there? Is it because it’s at night? Are the sleeping owls cute? Are their baby owls??? Sleeping baby owls??!!!

Act Three, Scene Nineteen

Delphi was on fire today. There was something so fresh about Annabel in this performance. She was ruthless and I loved it. She’s taken to holding her wand like a knife against Scorpius’s throat and while that was gloriously alarming, it really made Albus panic. He’s all desperation and determination. So Albus-y. I love it. Mwahaha.

Act Four, Scene Five

I love how Scorpius goes from ‘being a rebel for the first time’ to happily kicking down elderly ladies doors (literally) and stealing from them. At some point this is all going to hit him...

Act Four, Scene Eight

Scorpius very visibly freaks out in the most awkward of ways when he sees his dad. He wants to hug him, so desperately, but he doesn’t know if he can. His arms flail, he kinda jogs on the spot a bit, there’s just so much energy there. It’s like everything within him is telling him to run. Run to his dad and never let go. So when Draco says it’s ok, that they can hug too, he sprints across that stage and throws himself at his dad with everything he’s got. Draco looks equally as relieved and at peace now he’s got his son back in his arms and there’s no wonder the audience sometimes ‘awww’s because it’s so sweet.

I particularly like it when James’s Draco sometimes refuses to let go and Scorpius’s line is said kinda muffled from where he’s still squished into his dad’s shoulder.

Act Four, Scene Ten

“Do you know what I’m really good at?” - Today’s version of this line was my favourite because while he was technically speaking to the group as a whole, he was actually walking towards and looking at Draco as he spoke. Draco and Albus are my favourite HP characters so this is my one and only line in which they tend to interact and Albus looked so happy with himself today. Like he was truly proud of himself and wanted to share it. With Draco. I barely resisted the urge to bounce in my seat. Those two are more alike than they realise and I believe, given the time, they’ll realise this and Draco will become good influence in Albus’s life. He’ll be someone he can turn to. Knowing certain members of the cast also believe this too warms my little fangirl heart. Have I said how much I love this cast? Because I do. So much.

Act Four, Scene Twelve

As soon as Voldemort got to Lily, Scorpius put his arm round his dad and you could see his hand just sort of hovering over his back for a second today because he knows what’s coming. Then when she was killed, neither of them hesitated to cling onto each other. I love that. Scorpius knowing his dad needs comforting just as much as he does and he’s not afraid to give it in that moment. We get to see the progression of Harry and Albus’s relationship in the last scene, we only get background actions to read into for Draco and Scorpius’s relationship. So little things like that, or how Draco goes over and places his hand on his son’s shoulder in St. Jerome’s and how Scorpius reaches up and places his hand on top. My faaavourite thing is how James’s Draco gently sways with Scorpius as he holds him after the murder of James and Lily. Everything is so still and silent at this point, not just the cast but the whole theatre. Except those two. I love it because it’s like they’ve been directed to stay still, but James’s inner Draco has just gone nooope. Draco would do everything in his power to look after his son and his son needs comforting so that’s exactly what I’m going to do. Which you know… would not surprise me at all.

These current Dracos are so passionate about their sons. Ed literally smacked his hand down as he loudly declared that everything is about Scorpius for Draco when he spoke about him at stage door. He lives for that boy. You know, just in case we hadn’t noticed.

Act Four, Scene Fourteen

Scorpius flicking his robes back and brushing his hair back behind his ear as he talks about letting her pursue him is pure gold. Then Rose comes on and all that confidence just disappears. That boy is all talk and no game. No wonder Albus spends so much of this scene smiling and laughing.

“Besides, I’ve been practicing. I think I might make the team eventually.” - Albus laughs so hard at this that he literally has to sit down and falls back against the steps. The idea of Scorpius making the team is that funny to him. The best part? When asked about why Albus laughs so much about this, Theo himself started laughing just as much :’) Apparently the concept of Scorpius high up on a broom playing a dangerous sport is too funny and absolutely never going to happen. Which you know, is fair enough. Try picturing it yourself and not laughing :p The Scorpion King might be a rather good Quidditch player, but our Scorpius is entirely different. I wonder if Draco stops seeing Quidditch as the ‘dream job’ when it’s his own son he’s helplessly watching up there.

Act Four, Scene Fifteen

Harry looks so happy when Albus talks about his parents. He’s telling him about the smoke ring thing and there’s something so childlike about his smile. I don’t know if it’s hearing about his parents or that Albus is happily sharing something with him. But you can practically see Harry’s heart filling up. After everything he’s gone through, he’s stood here now with his son and they’re talking about family and his past and they’re both happy. The fact that neither of them are afraid to show that in that moment has me beaming equally as big as I watch them.

Another thing I love about this scene is how Albus and Harry mirror each other’s body language. It’s like they’ve finally come together and are in sync again, just like they should be. It’s kinda beautiful.

Misc.

It looked like Theo had a haircut so his hair was very well tamed all the way through today. Sad times. Samuel’s wig on the other hand more than made up for it. It was wild today.

I can’t remember if it’s after he gets out of the lake or when they’re all reunited in Godric’s Hollow, but Ginny and Harry hug each other after they’ve got Albus back and I love that. The relief and love in that hug is wonderful.

Ed’s Draco has different rings to James’s Draco. Ed’s are darker and heavier. Not in weight, but in the sense they stand out more on his hands. They suit his Draco but I still think they look too much. Or maybe it’s because I’ve seen James’s Draco’s wedding ring up close and it’s gorgeous. It’s big but there’s a lightness to it. it’s almost like she was his light in the darkness or something… and even now that she’s gone, he can look down at his hand (which he does often and he hurts every single time I notice) and she still makes his world less murky… alright, I’m going to stop before I break myself. But yes, the way the light hits the opal and brings out the subtle flecks of colour is beautiful. It’s warm. I love it. I know actors will have different costume pieces because of their sizes but to me, that ring will always be Draco’s wedding ring.

Samuel with the Dementors is something else. The way he moves his body with them is so perfect. It’s like he’s weightless and as flowy as the Dementors robes. His actions slow down and he goes up on his tip toes like he’s physically being pulled up by them. His back bends as his chest is raised and there’s no doubt in your mind that they’re taking something from him. He’s being pulled and bent both mentally and physically by them and he’s helpless to stop them. But then they affected Harry more because of his childhood, Scorpius meets them for the first time with no warning and must experience something equally as bad. From the death of his mum, the bullying, the burden of his family’s past, the loss of Albus, the very real and imminent fear of the current situation… There’s a lot of the Dementors to take advantage of. When he meets them again in Act Three Scene Nine, you see him struggling and it would be so easy to give in and let them win because he’s fighting but is it enough? Spoiler alert: It is, because Albus is enough.

…can I talk about Samuel some more? I love all his little Scorpius things so much. Like the finger guns. They’re not even done ironically, he really does love them. Then there’s how he points at Albus with his toes whenever he’s not wearing shoes. He really does use his whole body and it’s so Scorpius. He radiates this beautiful energy and it’s not all Scorpius, but Samuel too. He’s genuinely so happy and at home on that stage.

#I could proof read this but then it would be another week before I post it so.... *jazz hands* ta-daaa!#harry potter and the cursed child #cursed child play #TCCleanne

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bh944 · 4 years

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2018 Honda Fit Sport 6MT Review

By Bradley Harris

So I'll admit... I ended up getting behind the wheel of my Lunar Silver 2018 Honda Fit Sport rather unexpectedly. I wasn't even totally sure about getting a new (to me) car, as I had no down payment, and have recently been making the majority of my income from Uber, which is a hard gig to get financing approval on. However, I got an email from a Honda dealer advertising financing for all, so I decided to give it a try at least.

When I arrived, I specified that if at all possible, I'd like a car with a manual transmission. As luck would have it, the only manual car available was a slightly used Fit Sport. After a quick test drive, I liked the look and was rather impressed with the transmission and unexpectedly peppy pickup, the space, and the Android Auto integration. On top of that, the dealer was willing to give me some time with the car to earn the down payment with Uber, so I said, "Let's make this deal happen!" As it turns out, I couldn't imagine many other cars making me happier to drive it with Uber than this car, and really, it is simply a solid automotive value - period.

In terms of exterior styling, I rather like the car a lot. This is where the "Sport" trim moniker makes the most impact, as exterior aesthetic upgrades are the only changes Honda made in creating the Sport trim, other than adding contrasting orange stitching to the otherwise very very black interior, which at least has varied textures and some metallic finishes to keep it from looking like a black hole of plastic. Honda added sporty-looking front and rear bumper caps with orange trim lines, as well as sill extensions, a roof spoiler, and gloss black wheels to achieve a sportier look, and by most accounts, it's successful. I've received a few compliments on the look of the car.

Overall, "Fit" is perhaps the most apropos name Honda could have given this car. It's diminutive dimensions, at 161.8 inches long, 67 inches wide, and 60 inches tall mean that it can fit in even some of the tightest parking spaces without issue, making it ideal for impacted parking areas in urban environs. Don't let its small size fool you, though, as its capacious interior, assisted by that 60 inch height, has 39.5 inches of headroom in the front seats and 37.5 inches in the rear, 41.4 inches of front / 39.3 inches of rear legroom, and 54.8 inches of front / 52.6 inches of rear shoulder room. I've regularly had people 6' - 6'2" sit in the front seat without complaint with someone comfortably seated behind them that was anywhere from 5'2" to 5'9". I myself, at 5'10", find the Fit accommodates me quite well seated behind myself, with 3 inches of additional kneeroom between me and the front seat no less! A very regular comment I get is, "Wow! What car is this again? It's so roomy in here!" Honda's designers and engineers have achieved nothing short of a small miracle getting so much space from such compact dimensions.

In terms of luggage space, it has 16.6 cubic feet with the "Magic Seat" second row up and 52.7 cubic feet with it down, so called magic because with one pull of the lever located on the back of each section of the 60/40 split folding seat, the seat goes down in one fell swoop to create a totally flat rear load floor. For reference, that 16.6 cubes of space with the seat up is as much as you'll get in the trunk of most mid-size family sedans, including Honda's own Accord, at 16.7 cubic feet, and it's incredibly useable, with only minor intrusions from the spaces for the rear shocks. I once helped an Uber rider cart home 7 large plants from Home Depot, folding the 60 section of the Magic Seat to accomodate it all. We both were impressed. (Funnily enough, she chose to ride in the 40 section of the seat in the second row amidst her small forest, rather than ride shotgun, because it would be weird sitting up front I guess... ��)

All the controls and instruments fall easily at hand, and honestly, it's an intuitive and easy cabin to figure out. One niggle I've found, though, is that the center armrest is quite small and a bit low for my liking, which is too low for my right arm when not busy steering or shifting. Also, the only item I thus far have needed to reference the owner's manual for is the infotainment system. While I've not tested the old head unit with the digital adjustment for volume which was much maligned, the volume knob/power button is the only hard control for infotainment aside from the brightness button. Overall, it's a pretty easy-to-use system, but figuring out the display screen options was a bit of a head scratcher, even after I referred to the manual. It took some digging in online forums for me to finally understand how that part works, which is a frustration which shouldn't be the case, but which in the grand scheme, isn't all that huge.

The last niggle, and this is a rather large one, is that the system can be quite glitchy from time to time. I'll be driving, and the Android Auto will cut out saying my phone isn't compatible with Android Auto (me thinking, "Aaaaaaaaall of a sudden"). This one isn't much of a bother, as it just takes a quick unplug/replug of the cable into the phone to fix it. The bigger problem is that the system will completely shutdown at random, not often, but often enough that I've begun to think it has a mind of its own. Worse, it takes the system around 2-3 minutes to completely reboot and start up again, during which a lot of navigating would have needed to happen, and the silence which it creates can be defeaning when Uber riders are onboard. Thankfully, Android Auto does pickup the slack on the device at times, continuing to announce directions from it, and if it doesn't, the Uber app is showing the route as well. The system's excuse that it suddenly lost power is invalid, however, as this mishap happens most while in motion, and it's something Honda needs to address.

As for positives of the infotainment, while I don't have an iPhone to test Apple Carplay integration, the Android Auto integration is👌🏼. One can stream from any audio source on their phone when using Android Auto, and Google Maps is better than almost any nav system an automaker could integrate into the system. What's even neater is that with my Uber app set to navigate from Google maps, when I hit navigate in the driver app, it pulls up on Google maps in the center stack screen and starts navigating with only a second or two load time.

The upgraded audio available with the Sport and above, at 6 channels (two tweeters near the base of the windshield, and one full range speaker in each of the 4 doors) and 180 watts of total output, is rather decent for a car in this class, and can reach up in volume with little sound distortion aside from some bass muddiness. It has adequate connectivity too, with streaming Bluetooth audio as well as a USB port and 12V outlet lower in the center stack above a bin just behind the cupholders where one can store their phone. An additional outlet and USB port are in the center console. No AUX outlet means easy switching between your device and a passenger's for audio source duty isn't easily possible, though in most cases I think many will find that a plus. Additionally, there are no charging ports behind the console for the second row.

For everyday driving duty, the audio system is more than adequate for most, though if you're someone like me who LOVES the music they listen to, you'll want to upgrade this system beyond what Honda can give you at this price point. Price considered though, the system is quite good.

The shifter, which is leather covered and stitched like a baseball (nice touch!) in the aforementioned contrasting orange (same as the sturdily-upholstered cloth seats and steering wheel for added sporty appeal), falls easily at hand, fitting in the palm beautifully and comfortably. So does the leather-lined three-spoke steering wheel, which feels nice to hold, has just the right diameter, and contains easy to use controls for cruise control, audio, and Bluetooth phone functions.

The rev counter and speedometer are analog and are very legible, while there's a digital gauge for fuel economy and fuel tank level which also shows the odometer, trip information, fuel range, and a few other useful data points. The fuel economy gauge is fun to play with as you monitor accelerator usage, and there are lights next to the speedometer that change from blue to green as revs climb, fitting with the name "Earth Dreams" Honda has given to its latest set of engine tech. I personally feel adding a red light as one approached redline would be a nice-to-have addition, especially since this is the "Sport" model.

There's actually quite a copious number of beverage holders, with a spot for bottles on each of the four doors, as well as two reasonably-sized cup holders ahead of the shifter, and one cup holder that expands out of the dash up at the drivers left side near the air vent. That placement is very very convenient, I've found.

One last note on the cabin. Build quality is stellar! Panel gaps and trim fittings are all tight, and after about 18,000 miles of driving, there's been no squeaks, rattles, or other untoward noises.

Soooooo, finally, how does it drive?

Competent. Very competent. Its responses are mostly well-controlled, with quick, responsive steering and a composed ride quality; though, as can be expected for a car in this price range, sharp impacts are heard and felt, and there is a bit of float and flopping over on quick transitions that I wish the "Sport" moniker could have dialed out. Also, the rear end will stutter and skip a bit on broken pavement when near the limits of the tires' adhesion, thanks to its torsion-beam rear axle. As it is, all suspension and mechanical settings are the same across the board for the Fit from trim to trim. The steering is relatively numb, though there is a tiny bit of feedback coming through the steering right at the limit. You can feel the tires begin to break traction and push into understeer, but the buildup to that is quiet, as is the case with most electric steering setups these days. A bit of lift throttle will quickly reign in the front end, which otherwise will generally go where it's pointed with precision. The short wheelbase really helps with making the car lithe and responsive, as does it's low 2,648-pound weight.

The shifter is mostly a joy to work, with silken glides from gate to gate and a solid, mechanical feel as it enters the gear. However, from time to time, the shifts can get a touch balky, and even refuse to enter the gate, which necesitates a full clutch out/in to get it to cooperate. Pedal placement is also great for whether you heal-and-toe or not.

Overall, though, the Fit is a relatively slow car that can be quite fun to drive fast, as its limits are within reach on the street and can be explored without necessarily endangering your license. Freeway onramps become your skidpad, and feeling the 1.5 liter's i-VTEC cam changeover as you reach freeway speeds in the upper range reminds you why anybody makes a big deal about it. There's a noticeable increase in acceleration as it happens, at you really feel every one of its 128 horsepower working. It's acceleration, while not breathtaking, is surprisingly peppy. It has a rather delightful VTEC song, too, with a full induction sound that will give you flashbacks of some of Honda's greatest engines.

In terms of fuel economy, this little machine is a sweetheart. It's EPA-rated at 29 city / 36 highway / 31 combined, and in mixed driving, I'm getting anywhere between 32 and 35. Plus, with just a 10.6 gallon tank, I'm super happy paying only about $26 per fillup of 87 octane at current prices in my area hovering around $3.19. As an Uber driver, this kind of fuel economy/cost are a boon, as it means I can make a lot more money from each tank than I can in many other vehicles, and the expense doesn't cut too much into the profit.

The Sport trim includes none of the Honda Sensing suite of safety tech available on the EX and EX-L, but being an enthusiast, I personally don't want or miss any of it. While there are many consumers who find comfort in the extra safety, there's just no replacement for good driving, and I find that this car, with a manual, is great car for honing one's skills to become a better driver for everyone. The tall greenhouse on the Fit means that sightlines all around are phenomenal. A camera checking my blind spots would be redundant, as doing it in this car is easy to do myself. With my hands full between the shifter and steering and my feet with the pedals, my attention is squarely on my driving, and it makes me very aware of what I'm doing and how I can do it better. There's no room for distracted driving!

Honda has built a real winner with the Fit, and despite the Sport trim only looking sportier than its other trims, its driving dynamics, while not outright sporty, are at least composed enough to be fun in between serving commute duties. With a mixture of space, versatility (+1 for the hatchback), economy, and infotainment tech, the Fit Sport is a great car for enthusiasts on a budget who must make some compromises for life. Commuters on a budget will find they had to compromise very little, if at all, with the Fit, and with the extra safety tech of upper trims and niceties like leather, heated front seats, and a moonroof, the Fit is capable of fit-ting most people's needs and lifestyles very, very well at a price that won't break the bank.

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tsdecoded · 7 years

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Blank Space - Part 1: The Femme Fatale

I thought I would start this project with my favourite Taylor Swift video: Blank Space. I remember exactly where I was when I watched it for the first time and how much I loved it. Funnily enough, one of my best friends from Uni texted me that I NEEDED to watch it. She said: “You’re gonna die. One word: Pastels” I was sold. Since the first beat and the first frame, Blank Space trapped me in this fantastical and perfect universe. The colours are pastel, the clothes are editorial, the house is aristocratic, everything about it is a dream (at least for me.. you might have other dreams, maybe a monster truck with fireworks.. I don’t know your life! Dream whatever you want! But, for me.. it doesn’t get any better than the Blank Space world.)

I mean.. #GOALS!

Okay, now that I have established my love for the video, let’s dive into the analysis. I separated this analysis in 2 parts. The first one will be the femme fatale approach, and the second will be the PR machine approach. There are probably many other ways to read this video, but these two approaches are the most interesting to me. So, let’s dive in.

Let’s start with the obvious theme of “nightmare dressed like a day dream.” This is perhaps the most important lyric in the song and the central theme in the music video.

So what is a nightmare dressed like a daydream? - The concept of the beautiful woman that attracts men to their doom is present in many cultures around the world and has been used in many films. The Femme Fatale is the first example that comes to mind. The beautiful and sensual woman turns out to be the evil villain all along. If you search for a definition on Wikipedia, here is what it says:

A femme fatale is a mysterious and seductive woman whose charms ensnare her lovers, often leading them into compromising, dangerous, and deadly situations.

In classical cinema, the femme fatale is an extremely sexy and feminine woman that has this almost hypnotising allure. Think Brigid O'Shaughnessy from The Maltese Falcon, Rebecca from Rebecca, Rita Hayworth in Gilda, Gene Tierney in Leave Her to Heaven, Eva Green in Sin City, Marion Cotillard in basically every single movie she has ever been in… The femme fatale is one of Hollywood’s favourite archetypes. It plays with the idea that women [specially beautiful women] are inherently dangerous and not to be trusted.

Taylor is very clearly using the image of the femme fatale in this video. The first time we see her she is wearing a black lace dress, and throughout the video she portrays this very elegant, mysterious and attractive character. Everything about her is attractive. She is gorgeous, she has style, she lives in a mansion, the horses, the dogs, she paints… everything about her is interesting. She is the perfect woman… or so we think.

As the video progresses, we start seeing how the perfect exterior starts to crack. We get our first glimpse of the crazy interior at about minute 1:20. When Taylor is singing “got a long list of ex lovers” she is hanging the recently painted portrait of her new lover on the hallway. At first glance, everything seems fine, just another painting on the wall, but if you pay close attention, the portrait directly in front of the one she is hanging has an ax stuck in it (it took me about 10 watches to actually notice the ax). There is something wrong about this perfect character, and we slowly start noticing. It starts small, but the violence increases by the second. She even warns us. The craziness starts as she sings “the worst is yet to come.” With these words, she launches us into this crazy journey of rage, jealousy and violence. She breaks things, cuts and burns his clothes, throws objects at him, she slashes his portrait… it’s all very insane. The guy is clearly trapped in this situation and there is no way out. He is doomed.

When we get to the bridge, the video takes a slightly different structure. We see Taylor directly in front of the camera, playing with an apple.

This is perhaps, my favourite part of the video. Visually, it’s so interesting and appealing. To begin with, we go from mostly wide shots, to a sequence of close-ups. Then, we get Taylor singing directly into the camera, breaking the fourth wall. And then, we finally see that her behaviour is a pattern. She is in control. The apple is a metaphor for the guy. Whatever she does to the apple, the guy feels. We also finally get to see the hallway with the portraits… this is important because we get a glimpse of the extent of her craziness. Two things stand out. The first thing is that all the guys hanging on the walls are the same. They all fit the same description. The second thing is that they all had violent endings. An ax, scratched faces, red paint… every single portrait was destroyed.

Now, the video goes back to the wider shots, and we see Taylor’s character destroying the car, and the tree with the heart, and everything else related to him. Finally, we see him on the floor. He is probably dead, or at least unconscious. It’s definitely not a good ending for him (or his car). The femme fatale takes her victim.

The video finally ends exactly like it started, with a handsome man driving into her house in a fancy car, creating this endless cycle of the same.

Now that we have gone through the superficial analysis of the video, we can go a little deeper and actually try to decode (see what I did there? lol) the message behind the video.

The femme fatale has been a somewhat controversial figure. It represents the fear of the sexually free woman. This makes it the perfect character for Taylor to critique how the media portrays her. She’s not only calling out the misogynistic criticism she constantly receives, but she’s also challenging the viewer’s perception of her. She plays this over-the-top character, as if saying “this is what you want me to be? Look at me be the moat extreme version of this character you’ve created for me.” We sometimes forget there are two Taylors: the public persona; and the real woman. This video is perhaps the best reminder that it’s all just an act, a fabrication. And with that thought, we can transition into part 2.

#taylor swift #music #video #analysis #blank space

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uncheckedtomfoolery · 7 years

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What about the hot Nazrin opinions? She doesn't necessarily seem like she's from Japan, and she seems a lot older than many animal youkai.

Oh, look. Someone else who likes Nazrin. There might be a whole… five of us, now? Standard disclaimer applies (this is my opinion etc.), rest is below the cut. The good news is that I’ve written a lot on the topic before and can pillage that for something to put here. Bad news, it’s gonna be a bit of a rambling mess maybe.

Off the bat, I’m going to address the stuff you point out. You’ve got me at a bit of a disadvantage there; I hadn’t realised she’s quite as old as she is, for one. I’m also at a loss to explain her name, sorry; one could make a case for a corruption of ‘nezumi’ into ‘naz’ but that seems like a real stretch, and it doesn’t really map to anything else that I know of. That’s not a very promising start, but I’m glad you brought that to my attention. As for age, funnily enough, this makes her older than Mamizou (assuming she’s basically Danzaburou-danuki. Indeed in that case, Mamizou’s not even half as old as she likes to act, by youkai standards.) Now, onto things I can say with a touch more confidence. First of all, what does she do, exactly?

Shou and Nazrin are both leaders, after a fashion. Shou is a figurehead. No, that’s not meant to diminish her importance or anything; it’s shorthand to say that she’s the one who’s seen, who talks and smiles and inspires people and is generally very impressive. Shou is the face. The regal one, if you like. Nazrin stays behind the scenes. She organises, she manages, she cleans up little problems and keeps everything running smoothly. It’s a job that’s partly about saying the right things when around others, but equally, about saying the wrong things, pointing out the stuff no one is quite willing to admit. Being, at times, the realist who’s willing to speak out of turn. It’s not always nice and it’s definitely not glamorous. She prefers it that way. She doesn’t care for glamour, and praise is awkward at best, offensive at worst to her. It’s a pretty thankless job, and she prefers it that way; she’s the sort of person who enjoys having something to complain about now and then, and despises the spotlight. I take the view that she probably could have a shot at the avatar role if she wanted to. She’s smart, capable, reasonably powerful with her gadgetry on hand (which is about where Shou sits), and has a good heart and a mind for tactics. Sure, Bishamonten would probably let her sign on. She doesn’t like that, though. She’s not the type and cannot stand the idea of… avatar work, basically. Time spent in the limelight, being generically inspiring and dealing with people all day, like Shou does. She’s quick to say she could never do what Shou does, even if “I don’t want to” is a lot more accurate in practice. Depending on my mood, I’ve even written her as not being especially religious at all. She likes Byakuren, but she’s no strict Buddhist. She has no strong opinions on Bishamonten/Vaisravana, but if Shou wants to do this, she’s happy to help. That sort of thing. Officially, since this seems to work out best (and because Shou is meant to be the public face), she’s a follower. In practice… ask them which one is in charge and they’ll both laugh at you. It’s not really like that.

Next up (yes, I’m still going, you knew what you were getting into after the last few posts), how does she view Byakuren’s private crusade for youkai/human unity and the like? Well and poorly, all at once. In her mind, youkai are ideas. You can’t change nature, you can bend it a bit, and eventually either you fail or it breaks outright. Things like ‘you don’t need to settle’ and ‘everyone can change’ are uniquely human luxuries in her eyes. Byakuren and her followers have no clue what they’re doing. They’re a bunch of misguided idealists, thinking they can save the world, going off on their hopeless crusade. Everyone can change; that’s why the human doesn’t quite understand youkai, the tiger spends her days being big, impressive and scary, the mouse hides out of sight and finds little hidden things, and the yamabiko shouts all day… right? Case in point. Whole thing is stupid. And you know, she loves that. Sure it’s probably hopeless, but these are good people, working towards a fine cause, and she’s not about to stop them. The world needs more optimists and good-hearted people, and she’s more than willing to enable them. No one’s place to stop them, right? The closest she’ll do is contribute as she is; after all, they can use someone who is neither unfailingly idealistic, nor always a good person. Having someone like that on hand is useful, she figures. Besides, she does what she can in her quiet way to keep the wheels turning. In a way, she’s probably somewhat reassuring to others in the temple. The transition to a Buddhist lifestyle is no doubt challenging to many, and we know not everyone at the temple plays by Byakuren’s rules… so seeing someone higher up who’s not exactly perfect and is willing to cover for them now and then probably helps. Both because of her age, and all the little rats/mice (same word in Japanese, who knows?) she looks after… she has a slightly Tewi-like trend (I refer strictly to my own Tewi as mentioned in previous posts) to… well, basically to treat them as children. Let the kids dream, it’s good for them and she’s happy to encourage them, keep them safe, all of that. Would be rude to outright say that to them of course, so she doesn’t. Who knows? Maybe some day they’ll prove her wrong and it turns out they can do everything they set out to do after all. That would be nice, it really would.

On faith, I’ve written something I can more or less copy; may as well not let it go to waste. She’s a follower of Bishamonten, broadly. She’s a helper to his avatar, given. She would hasten to say, though, that she’s not particularly religious. The gods do a good job of getting much too full of themselves without any encouragement, and she’s already close enough to the ground without any kneeling adding to that. Anyone who can change the world by snapping their fingers and still needs validation from others bowing and scraping has, in her view, some explaining to do. Likewise for those who somehow have so little to worry about in this world that they need to start concerning themselves with the next as well.There just isn’t the time for that sort of thing.Not that she’d put it that way to most. This does not preclude living in a Buddhist temple, or attending the sermons, chanting sutras, and even observing some restrictions. It’s a matter of making others comfortable, and she finds it to be a wonderful exercise for centering herself anyway, so why not? Out of sight, she doesn’t adhere to the rules quite as closely; she’s no saint and would be suspicious of most people who claim to be one. It has its advantages, too; there are things the youkai at the temple need to talk about, and some of them are the sort of thing you need to bring up with ordinary people, not saints.She likes to think she does ‘ordinary people’ quite well, in her own way. You don’t take one of the columns holding temple up and call it a pilgrim, and in the same way, she‘s no worshiper. Hijiri is a good person, and if the others at the temple aren’t, then they certainly try their best, which is all anyone can hope for. Bishamonten, too, is probably a decent sort on the balance; she hasn’t quite had enough time face to face to figure him out, of course, but he seems fine enough. Shou likes him. Shou doesn’t usually like bad people. There’s faith there. Not for gods, no; they do fine by themselves. She’s just found some very good people to put her personal faith in.

Because this inevitably will come up: I do not view her relationship with Shou as particularly romantic. Or rather, it probably has been at some point, it might be now, and that’s not really important. Youkai are odd, and they’ve also known each other since forever ago; I figure they’ve basically attempted every (positive) configuration possible for their relationship, and at this point they slip into whatever they like the idea of at the time. Meet their mood for a couple decades. They’re going to be very close whatever happens, anyway.

So on a closing note, having talked almost entirely about her work around the temple and her role there, what about her free time? Well, it’s usually uninterrupted, for one. There’s a quiet assumption that she knows what she’s doing (and therefore she can afford any break she’s taking), to begin with. Besides that, though, she always seems so tired. She might be, with all that she does, but partly… well, honestly, she’s just one of those people who has looked and acted exhausted her entire life. It doesn’t necessarily mean much. Her love of casual grumbling only pushes this further. If you ask her what she does in her free time, she’ll laugh, shake her head, and promise to tell you if she ever gets a chance to find out. Let her have her exaggerations, she thinks it’s funny. The real answer is… a few things. She’s an avid reader, for one, but an eccentric one. Memoirs, accounts of great battles, anything written by tacticians and generals of the past, and so on. It’s not an act of faith, just an overlap of interests with Bishamonten. Actual martial pursuits, though- well, no, she never found that too interesting. Nazrin is the kind of person who reads instruction manuals for fun.

She also has a bunch of picture books, which she reads to the little mice in her basket. They don’t understand a word and she doesn’t expect them to, but they seem to enjoy it. And lastly, she has a love of go, shogi and (after Murasa introduced her to it) chess. She’ll read about it, practice openings, theorycraft endlessly, and solve puzzles. She even plays against herself a bit, though it’s not ideal. She’d rather not, you understand, but there aren’t many that would play against her near the temple, and she’d rather not get rusty.

…And there you have it. More than anyone ever wanted to hear about Nazrin, I’m sure. Future askers, if you want to hear about a character and also don’t want a gigantic wall of text hurled at you, please tell me and I’ll restrain myself on levels of detail.

#Touhou #Asks #Anonymous ask #Nazrin #Long post #Nearly 2k words oh dear #Presented with my apologies #Analysis

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wristwatchjournal · 4 years

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Independent Watchmaking – In Conversation with an Atypical Watchmaker, Fred Dingemans of d.m.h.

Independent Dutch watchmaker Fred Dingemans (b.1961) is something of an anomaly in the rarefied universe of watchmaking: he didn’t study watchmaking and he makes his watches by hand in his garden shed using pre-electronic machinery (a lathe, a drilling machine-cum-press and an engraving machine) he inherited from his job in precision mechanics. Embracing the DIY school of philosophy, Dingemans produces roughly 20 watches a year. The case, crown mechanism and dial are all crafted by Dingemans although the movements are 1970s new old stock Tenor Dorley jumping hours and 3-hand automatics. His distinctive solid steel or bronze cases with the crown at 2 o’clock are made on the old 1947 lathe. Customisation is very much a part of the package and Dingeman’s sends photographs of the work in progress from the moment work on the parts gets started.

Dingeman’s combination of low volume and absolute dedication is something he wouldn’t change for anything in the world. We caught up with Dingemans and his one-man-show the other day and found out how being fired from his 9-5 job was a blessing in disguise.

Rebecca Doulton, MONOCHROME – We’ll start with the classic background questions. What exactly are fine mechanics, what was your job in fine mechanics and how did this lead you to watchmaking?

Fred Dingemans – Fine mechanics is like mechanics but on a smaller scale, you deal with smaller components. Back in 1979, there weren’t a lot of job opportunities for youngsters in Holland. Without pronouncing a single word, my father let me know that I could forget any ideas I had of not working because the job market was depressed. So I went to work in the same company as my father. It was the pre-electronics period and I repaired mechanical things like typewriters and counting machines with small tools. Later on, I sometimes adjusted and rebuilt machines for disabled people; for example, adjusting a typewriter for somebody with Parkinson’s disease. I enjoyed solving things and thinking of mechanical solutions to adapt the machine to specific requirements.

I’ve always loved mechanical watches. I’d look at them in shops but always thought, better not buy that because that would trigger an argument with my wife. I wasn’t really making the kind of money to pay for a high-end watch and you have to make choices. Anyway, what gave me the push was when the company I worked for went bankrupt. It was a 130-year-old company and had rested on its laurels and didn’t embrace the advent of computers and technology. I was 45 when I was told I could go home. For most people, being fired is the worst thing that can happen to you; for me, it was the best thing that ever happened to me.

How did you transition from fine mechanics to watchmaking?

When the director kindly fired me, she told me I could take some machinery I wanted from the company. So I loaded the company car with a couple of machines that had symbolic value for me. My father was the head of the technical department of this company and used to take me with him to work on Saturday mornings. It was the mid-1960s and even then, as a small boy, I was in awe of the machines. So I took home a lathe and some other machines and set myself up in the garden shed. Funnily enough, the first thing I made was a tamper to stamp the coffee for the espresso machine. This was, if you like, my pre-watch period!

I didn’t want to borrow money from the banks so, about 12-15 years ago, I started making my watches with the machinery I had. I started small and made A LOT of mistakes, but that is the interesting part of the process. My father died before he could see what I was doing, so in a way, this is also a kind of homage to him.

I got a part-time job for three days of the week and spent the rest making watches. I contacted watch enthusiasts to let them know about my project. In fact, one of the first ones was Frank! He wrote something about me and things started to roll…It was slow, but that suits me just fine. I don’t like life in the fast lane.

Were you inspired by any brands/watchmakers in particular?

Not really, no. Not because there aren’t many beautiful watches out there – some of my favourite brands make amazing watches. My first mechanical watch was a pilot’s watch that had a really nice history. I don’t have that kind of history to sell a watch. I tell my customers just like it is: this is who I am, this is how I do things and this is how long it takes.

What’s the difference between your approach to watchmaking and a traditional Swiss watchmaker?

Well, I haven’t got the white lab coat or nice-looking manufacture! I work in my shed. I have no overhead and need just one heater in the winter. I was curious to see how far I could get with the minimal amount of materials from watch companies. For example, I am not able to make a movement, that’s not fine mechanics, that’s out of this world mechanics! I sourced the movements, the glass and the straps, the rest I made myself. I don’t use expensive CNC machines either and rely on my lathe and drilling machines. I have learned the shortcomings of my lathe and drill and how to work around them. When you know the shortcomings of something, you can do a better job. It’s all about finding solutions. When I come across a problem, my brain works better…

Why is the crown at 2 o’clock and what kind of customisation options do you offer?

I like big crowns and when it’s big and at 3 o’clock, it usually digs into your wrist. If a customer prefers, I can put the crown at 10 o’clock, but only for a 3-hander. The dial is where the most customisation options reside: from the colour, the material, the finishings (engraved, sandblasted, painted) to different shapes for the hands, different colours, textures etc. I use two movements setups, jumping hours and 3-handers, although sometimes, in the Fusion Hour model, I adapt minute tube and have a minute and seconds hand along with the jumping hour.

I know some people say “wow, two years to get a watch” is a long time. But that’s how I work. Every customer gets pictures during the process. Here I am on the lathe, drilling a hole, engraving the metal… customers and especially myself enjoy this, it’s like live coverage of the work I do for you. As long it is in my ability I have to do my best to fulfil the wishes of my customers. We have established a relationship of trust and this makes me do my best.

Are you adamant about sticking to 20 watches per year?

Yes. The downfall is that I earn less, but I have more time to do other worthwhile things… something other than accumulating debt. Life is too short for that. You see, watchmaking is a part of my life and my day is built around making a watch, but also having time to do other things I like. From my father’s passing at 60, I learned that later is now. I don’t need to make a lot of money to enjoy my life.

What have you learned in these past 12 or so years?

That life can take you to places that you wouldn’t have envisioned in your wildest dreams. In the beginning, I was plagued with doubts. There are so many watch brands out there and they make such beautiful watches and they do it so much better than me… But these thoughts tend to drown you and don’t get you anywhere. I learned that when you are honest about what you do and make a product that you like… well, you can be successful.

Is there any experience you would not repeat?

No, there is no experience I wouldn’t repeat. Learn from mistakes, learn from the process. In retrospect, everything that goes wrong in creative processes must have a reason and you have to learn from this. When you make a mistake, it’s how you respond that reveals a great deal about who you are. I never react immediately, I sleep on it and the next day I usually have come up with a solution.

Is there a historical character you would like to share a beer with?

Somebody like Jimi Hendrix in music and Churchill in politics. I’m sure Churchill didn’t do everything right, But he was a remarkable person that was in the right place at the right time.

In my free time, I play electric guitar (for instance a Fender Stratocaster, like Hendrix, although my ability is nowhere near). I’ve always had a problem with the guitar staying in tune after using the whammy bar, you know the thing that makes the guitar whine. Well, I’ve invented something to replace the conventional string tree/guide that gives B and E strings a prefered angle over the top nut. (Editor’s note: you can see Dingeman’s Dynaguide invention here).

As a man with a mechanical mind, which is your favourite machine?

That’s an easy question: English machinery. I have an old Triumph Bonneville, a motorcycle from the heydays of English motor making. They really made the most beautiful things. We also drive a Triumph TR4A from the mid-1960s. I restored it mechanically but it still has the original red (now chalk-like) paint. We love to drive it and go on holiday with a little tent on the back rack. People think we’re crazy, aren’t you scared to travel in such an old car? Of course not, if it breaks, I have parts and I can fix it, if not it can be brought home and we move on with a rental car. I believe in using things, not locking them up in a garage for a sunny Sunday drive. Things are to be used and enjoyed. Just like watches. In the past 25 years, I have had three watches, only one was bought, the other two I made myself, a stainless some 10 years ago and a bronze recently.

In the past, watchmakers could order parts easily and these parts were often interchangeable with other brands. There was another concept of service back then. These days, that is no longer the case. Watches have become luxury items, not pragmatic items. I admire the old way of thinking. Utensils had to reliable and repairable by men’s hands.

More details about Fred Dingemans and d.m.h. here.

The post Independent Watchmaking – In Conversation with an Atypical Watchmaker, Fred Dingemans of d.m.h. appeared first on Wristwatch Journal.

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