#fucking loved him as grindelwald too
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Ok but Johnny Depp will always be the ultimate Orion Black fc for me 🥵 hottest man alive & love of my life.
#orion black#love of my life#my daddy#bellorion#bellatrix x orion#fucking loved him as grindelwald too#literally my favourite#justice for johnny depp
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about Obscurials and pre-Hogwarts Harry
this is your daily reminder that Harry could never have been an Obscurial, not because That Woman hadn’t created/retconned in the idea yet, but because of the actual definition, which is “a child who knows about their magic and tries to suppress it”.
Ariana Dumbledore knew she was a witch from the time she was able to know things. She was actively and knowingly doing magic when she was attacked, and afterward she refused to use her gift and it turned inward.
Harry Potter knew that strange things happened around him, but he did not know that it was magic, because he didn’t think magic was even real. One of the first things he says to Hagrid after The Reveal is something along the lines of “this has to be a mistake, I can’t be a wizard”. He also wasn’t trying to “suppress” any of the things happening to him, because he didn’t know he was the one causing them to happen.
so yeah, there’s no viable “Dumbledore knew Harry could have become an Obscurial when he left him with the Dursleys and still left him there” argument, because Dumbledore didn’t know the Dursleys weren’t going to tell Harry about his magic or even treat him like a member of the family (see: my 12-hour long post about this shit last month, along with The Books).
yet another big argument Dumbledore-bashers have that falls apart when you actually adhere to the story lol
#I am once again begging y'all to reread the books#Harry Potter#Ariana Dumbledore#Obscurials#when I watched the first FB movie I was like ''huh interesting'' and then people tried to make Credence/Harry parallels#EXCEPT CREDENCE ALSO KNEW HE HAD MAGIC????#Grindelwald was literally telling him all sorts of shit about the magical world and implying he could ''give'' him magic or unlock his magic#and like sure he was lying through his fucking teeth until he realized Credence *was* an untrained wizard and Obscurial but STILL#JKR is not great at storytelling but this actually holds up in-universe!#if you know magic is real and you might have it and you suppress it: Obscurial#if you don't think magic is real and you don't think you have it: you're just Harry lol#can't believe a stupid ass Quora poster made me think about FANTASTIC BEASTS today#JKR likes to retcon herself too though so I wouldn't be surprised if there's some dumbass line about this in the latest movie#meta#what's interesting is that Hermione never comes up in these bashers' conversations#she is another person who would have had a stake in ''wishing her problems away'' if she had any magical outbursts#yet no one ever says ''Hermione could have been an Obscurial!'' you know why?? because the theory DOESN'T MAKE SENSE for anyone but Ariana!#and Ariana is like Hermione in that she had two loving parents! so clearly Obscurials don't need to have an abusive caregiver to be birthed!#Credence is more of a parallel to Tom Riddle tormenting kids in the orphanage than he is to Harry; just more sympathetic#sigh#'bout to circle back to twitter for a while bc I'm so annoyed about this
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Yandere! Gellert Grindelwald x Muggle! Female Reader.
One shot. Topic: Reader Chan who loses hope.
Grindelwald caressed your effeminate cheekbone with affection to get your attention. The two of you were bare naked and laying outside on the beach Grindelwald owned. He told his henchmen to close the land for today. It was just him and you.
You peeked at his awaiting expression. Just to get him off your back. You gave him a fake smile and ran your long piano fingers across his gray hair.
You two married four days ago. When Grindelwald is finished with the last papers, he will take you to a real honeymoon. He wanted to take you to Denmark and then Libya.
He imagined you wearing foreign dresses and jewelry. Grindelwald wanted to fuck you without taking them off. He fondly smiled at the memory of the wedding night.
He didn't remove your huge sparkly wedding gown when he consummated the marriage. He let you bleed on the expensive silk material. To remind you, he is in charge. After that, Grindelwald didn't use his magic to clean the gown. He hung it up and placed it behind a glass case for display in his study.
He wanted everyone to know he owned you.
He was a fan of nature. So, he didn't make love to you on a bed in a bedroom. Too original and boring. No, he fucked you on the grass in the dark woods next to his old school, Hogwarts. His powerful magic skills blocked predators and made you two invisible.
He felt as if he was the original Adam making love to his wife, Eve when they got expelled from Paradise.
What a grand feeling.
You couldn't say the same. A elderly stranger whom you never met kidnapped you and chained you to a room. He didn't touch you but forced you to wed him. You tried to fight but he would whip and burn you. He tamed you like a horse.
So, you had to respond to his kisses and look at him as he raped you. You felt like a coward. But who likes pain?
Grindelwald purred like a damn cat when you gave him his fake affection as if it was medicine. But, now. He noticed how lacking you were. As if you were not trying. You stopped giving him fake smiles and seemed to not mind getting hit by his slapping and hair pulling.
How rude. He gritted his teeth at your defiance. So, he got his belt and whipped you. To his horror, you didn't seem to even feel him. You flinched and winced at the right time. But you didn't utter a word. The fuck is wrong with you?
He didn't feed you for two days. Then he finally came.
"All right. That's enough!" He snarled and shook your shoulders. "Why are you acting like a bitch?"
"What's the point of my opinion? You're always offended by my answers anyway and deny them." You sarcastically replied as tears came out.
Grindelwald clenched his jaw. He demanded why you were ungrateful. You lost it. You pushed him out of his grip. You sobbed how you lost your freedom and all people you loved and how it was unfair that he expected you to love him like a mindless slave.
You clutched your face as you crumpled to the ground. The middle aged man watched you with a clean expression and said nothing. He didn't say it. He actually pitied you. He agreed he was rather mean to you. Grindelwald walked to the door. "Don't try to escape." His tone mellow and heartless once more.
He was sitting on his favorite arm chair in his study with the fireplace lit. He had a glass of whiskey in his hand.
Fuck. He screwed up. He didn't mean to break your spirit. When he told you he loved you. It was real. If he didn't love you. He wouldn't feel guilty or ask why you were unhappy. Grindelwald is too proud. He will never apologize or admit his mistakes.
But, he is affectionate and will make it up. He decided to give you more freedom. Going on leisures alone in the Muggle world only. Not the Magic world. And have your technology devices back.
Yeah. That will do. Hopefully, he will make you lovey dovey and wrapped around his finger. But he will make conditions. Nothing is free. Everything has a price. You have to suck his dick well and hard before stepping outside. A smirk graced his gray cracked lips. Not a bad deal.
#yandere gellert grindelwald#gellert grindelwald#fantastic beasts secrets of dumbledore#fantastic beasts#gellert grindelwald x reader#yandere Gellert Grindelwald x reader#mads mikkelsen
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🎃Kinktober Day 29🎃
Day Prompt: Boot worship/Mind Control/Medical Play (Didn't like any of them so Day 9 prompt idea)
Word Count: 682
Warnings: +18 (MDNI), sexual content, oral sex ( F and M receiving), shit writing, and very lewd descriptions because I am, indeed, a pervert.
A/N: This was written in ten minutes, not sure whether I'm proud or not. Also, I love this man. Theseus, my beloved.
Theseus Scamander x F!Reader
It had been a very long month, neither you nor Theseus had expected the case to turn so complicated. The whole Ministry was in shambles as they struggled to capture a group of Dark Wizards who were connected with Grindelwald’s group. But they, unlike the boss man, were upfront about what their message was: kill Muggles and Muggleborns as well as anyone who interfered with their goals.
And as work took over every single moment of your life, you and Theseus hadn’t had the opportunity to even spend time at home. Neither one together at the same time, the bed always half cold. But when the time had come, both of you had taken it to share quick kisses with mumbles of ‘I love you’. But as you both intended to go back to work, neither had been able to let go.
Thus the current problem lies. Your office door was locked, still unsure if you had put a silencing charm or not, but it was too late to truly care as both you and Theseus were naked, he laid on the desk, feet on the chair to keep his legs high, you were biting your lip as you rode his face. His hands gripped your hips as he tried to keep you steady while his tongue licked at you like a starved man. And Theseus reckoned he was, a month without having your taste on his tongue had made him close his eyes when he was alone trying to recall the way you tasted and sounded. And now here he was getting to experience it all over again, and he was going to make it a hell of a good time. You were gasping, trying to keep your moans to an acceptable tone. Enough for him to hear but for everyone else to remain clueless unless they pressed their ears to the door.
“I’m going to cum,” you moaned, hands grabbing at your tits as you twitched. Your thighs squeezed Theseus’ head without care as you drowned him with your cum. But Theseus was moaning against you as his tongue licked you and fucked your hole. When it got too much, you clawed at his firm stomach.
He let go with a kiss to your cunt. You moved away, and in a blink of an eye, you had moved around to find yourself in the position he had been in. But your head hung from the corner of the desk, Theseus cock fucking your mouth until he finally gave you what you wanted: his cum down your throat.
Theseus was straining his neck as he looked down at you, head held where he wanted it, your throat exposed to him. And as he watched his long cock disappear between your lips, he could see his cock filling your throat, the outline of his cock making an obscene bulge. He’d been fucking your mouth with slow thrusts, staring at how good you were controlling your gag reflex in order to take him all the way, until his balls were against your tear-stained face, saliva running down the side of your mouth.
“Fuck, love, I wish you could see how hot this is,” he moaned, whining when he felt your throat tightening at an attempted swallowing motion from you. You moaned. “Good fucking girl, taking my cock beautifully.”
You moaned louder at the praise, and your fingers couldn’t resist anymore so they found your wet folds. Without many preambles, three of your fingers filled you up as best as they could, and with experienced motions, you fucked yourself.
“Oh fucking h-” he stopped himself as one final thrust had him burying his dick to the hilt, your face flushed against his spasming balls and cock. Your fingers stopped as you concentrated on not choking as Theseus spurted ropes of cum into you like you were made for it.
By the time meetings began to take place again, no one dared to address the fact that the Head of the Department was nowhere to be found or that his girlfriend was also missing.
#theravenclawlover#Kinktober 2022#Theseus Scamander#Theseus Scamander smut#Theseus Scamander x reader#Theseus Scamander x reader smut#Fantastic Beasts
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I loved and guessed at you, you construed me
It was not that he was waiting for her as much as that he was most often in the faculty sitting room at this hour and so was she and the staff knew to leave out a full tea service and also a magically chilled bottle of very dry amontillado, the color of her eyes. And then to tell anyone else that the room was occupied and that they were not to be disturbed.
It wasn’t that he was waiting for her, but he did look up when she came into the room, letting the ancient, rare and precious book he held slip out of his hand, an instinctive, wandless spell keeping it from clattering onto the floor.
“You cut your hair,” Draco said.
Any pretense to eloquence, savoir-faire, or intellectual rigor associated with achieving his Potions Mastery and Mwandamizi kemia had been decimated by the four words, uttered in a tone of complete shock, which given his Pureblood upbringing meant flat, with a hint of scorn. He had spent the past twelve years working to convince Hermione he wasn’t that man anymore, the one who would have meant the scorn, the fault-finding appraisal, cold and superior and not terribly clever underneath it all.
(The one he’d felt doomed to become before the chandelier fell in his family’s ballroom. Before she’d testified to keep him out of Azkaban. Before she’d returned his formal letter of apology with a brief addendum You were a child, Draco an absolution he didn’t deserve.)
Blaise always said he was his own worst enemy. Theo always nodded and offered a glass of single malt Scotch. Neville always shrugged and tried to reassure Draco, meandering through some nonsense about how they’d all had to grow up too soon, let down by the adults, forced to experience trauma that they’d been lucky to survive and a plate of buttered toast would soon set him to rights.
Luna changed the subject and talked about some possibly fictional chimerical creature to take his mind off his shortcomings. It never worked but he appreciated her effort and consistency.
“I suppose that’s better than ‘Bloody hell.’ And “Holy fucking Christ.’ Harry reverts to Muggle obscenity when he’s really surprised,” Hermione replied. “You only told me what I already know, as I didn’t accidentally fall into a Mongolian silver scissor-bush.”
“Is that a thing?” Draco asked.
He had to keep talking but there was a lot to take in, the startlingly gorgeous line of her bare neck, the angle of her jaw, how her eyes looked enormous, luminous. How her chestnut hair was swept across her brow and came to a delicate little point on the nape of her neck, all these hidden aspects suddenly marvels revealed. Suddenly, astonishingly breath-taking and erotic and also heart-breaking, because he’d wanted so to run his fingers through her loose hair, to stand behind her and draw a brush through her curls. Watching her eyes get drowsy in the dressing-table’s looking-glass, resting a hand on her bare shoulder and feeling the tickling silk of her hair. He’d wanted to cast the spell that ended the charm securing her chignon, to pull out the jeweled pins she used to keep her braids in the coronet around her head.
“No. It sounds like something Luna would mention though,” Hermione shrugged. It was as if he’d never seen the gesture before.
“It’s a lot to take in,” he said.
“It’s actually not. It’s both literally and figuratively not,” she said, rolling her eyes. “Snape being a double-agent in love with Harry’s mum was a lot to take in. Any Sunday lunch at Molly Weasley’s table is a lot to take in. War and Peace in the original Russian without a translation charm is a lot to take in. I took off a few inches—”
“A few inches?”
“Fine, I got the first professional, Muggle, haircut of my adult life because I was fed up with my hair and charms and Sleekeezy and glamours, so many glamours, and you would think I have announced I am Grindelwald’s secret lovechild,” she said in a tone of complete exasperation, pursing her lips in a matching moué he felt an impossible urge to kiss very thoroughly and until she was gasping his name.
He was fairly certain that action would not be requited, not now, and potentially not ever.
But definitely not now.
She was now almost glaring at him, waiting for a response.
If this was ever to become something beyond hopeless pining, if he were ever to be allowed to call her sweetheart and coax her back to bed, he couldn’t get the next part wrong.
“Are you happy with it?” he said. It was a gamble, saying anything would have been a gamble, but there was a chance he’d gotten it right.
He’d surprised her, that he could tell instantly, though her face changed very subtly. It meant no one else who’d seen her had asked and considered she might be. No one else had thought about why she’d done it, only what they thought of it. Evidently, both Weasley and Potter had indicated a negative response, Weasley likely driven by his own unrealized Pureblood upbringing, where all witches wanted the long hair associated with power and Potter never wanted her to be anything other than she’d been in their youth, when her unruly hair was her most obvious signifier.
“Yes, I think I am,” she said.
“That’s good. That’s what matters,” he said. He was supposed to reference the book he’d been reading or follow-up on their most recent conversation about geopolitics or whether Chopin was a Squib or at the very least offer her something to drink, the tea first and then, when she demurred, the sherry. But all of those would require him to look away from her and he couldn’t bring himself to do it.
Not quite yet.
“I ought to have done it a long time ago,” she said. She spoke without her usual forthright confidence, but also without any of the regret the statement might have implied. She sounded hesitant, as if she wanted something from him she felt she shouldn’t. Or shouldn’t ask for.
It was tempting to make some sort of declaration, offer reassurance or an argument. But he’d gotten this far by asking her a question.
“Why do you say that?”
“I don’t know. It would have been a way to move on. Grow up. Make my life easier, decide it for myself,” she said. She was watching him very closely as she spoke. She liked that he’d asked, though she wasn’t smiling. “It wouldn’t have been grief or some kind of, I don’t know, unhinged trauma response.”
It would very much have been a response to the colossal trauma she’d experienced if she’d hacked it all off after being tortured, and it wouldn’t have been unhinged when one considered the myriad extremely risky alternatives she might have chosen, but Draco wasn’t about to ruin everything. Even as his own worst enemy, he could keep from doing that.
“It could have been just something you do when you’re in your twenties, trying something out. Like, going to the Maldives or studying Norn. Learning earth magic from tribal elders in Namib.”
“Only you would saying learning earth magic in Namib is something you do in your twenties,” Draco said wryly. “Most people just go to the pub and fret a lot.”
“You didn’t,” she said.
“I think it’s well established I’m not most people,” he said.
“No. You’re not. You’re the only person who didn’t tell me cutting my hair was a terrible mistake,” she said. “As if it could even remotely compare to the other terrible mistakes I’ve made.”
“It’s not a terrible mistake,” he said. “And you’re the person I know best whose made the fewest terrible mistakes in her life and we can sit here drinking sherry talking about it because of it.”
“My parents wouldn’t agree,” she said.
“Neither would mine. I wonder how people grow up when they don’t have to discover their parents were deeply, entirely wrong about something absolutely crucial to survival,” Draco said.
“We could ask Blaise Zabini,” Hermione said after very clearly Thinking About It, a little crease appearing between her eyebrows.
“Too risky,” Draco replied. “It’s only the husbands people talk about but people have a way of disappearing when they ask questions about his mother.”
“No one would comment on her haircut,” Hermione said wistfully. “What a bloody icon.”
Draco laughed, startled.
“You’re enchanting,” he blurted out. Stupid, gauche, impulsive—he could go on (and on) about how ill-considered it had been.
“Well, I am a witch,” she said. She did not seem put off. In fact, she smiled at him, a little shyly. “Goes with the territory—”
“You enchant me. Bewitch me,” he said, throwing caution to the winds. “You don’t want anyone to comment on how you look, so I shouldn’t but you’re exquisite—”
He broke off, fearing he’d broken it all. She was still in the room and he still had all his bits and bobs, when he knew she was a dab hand at wandless curses. It was rather late to decide discretion was the better part of valor, but better late than never.
“I didn’t do it for you,” she said.
“No,” he replied.
“I didn’t do it only for you,” she clarified. “But I was curious to see how you’d react.”
“Did you have a hypothesis? You usually do,” he said.
“Yes. You’ve exceeded it slightly,” she said. There was a gleam in those sherry-brown eyes and when she tilted her head to the side, he understood the vampire’s insatiable lust.
“I can do better than slightly,” he said, half-dazed with the realization that she was requiting far more than he’d ever imagined. And that she’d imagined his response to seeing her bare neck, had wanted his admiration. He got up from his chair and crossed the room to her, standing close enough to take her in his arms. “I can do a wide margin. Prodigious. Overwhelmingly—”
“I like prodigious,” she said and he leaned in and kissed her parted lips softly, then deeply, one hand at her waist, the other cupping her cheek. The urge to possess her was tremendous, held in check only by an immense and constant tenderness, the moon that could pull the devouring tide back from the shore.
“Can I see overwhelmingly?” she whispered. “For comparison—”
“Of course,” he answered and moved to kiss her neck. He tasted the pulse of her carotid, sucking gently where he wanted to nip her. He moved back up to the hollow behind her ear, grazing her lobe with his tongue, then murmured,
“You cut your hair. I love it.”
#dramione#hermione x draco#draco POV#post-hogwarts#epilogue what epilogue#hermione gets a haircut#romance#pining#always some extra worldbuilding#references to lots of characters#had so much fun I wrote a second part#that one's hermione POV
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Unpopular opinion
Ron and/or Hermione should have died in the deathly hallows. And I say this as someone who loves these characters (probably Hermione more than Ron), but here me out
Now let's be fucking real, I really like ron, but he really wasn't skilled or prepared enough to fight in a war against voldemort, be it magically or mentally. And that's ok! He's still 17, he's not meant to be fighting a war. And to some degree he probably knew that the chances of him actually making it were pretty slim too. But he still stuck with Harry anyways coz there's no way he was going to let his best friend go through with this alone. Because that's who ron is, he'd rather die fighting beside his best friend, for his family, his muggleborn gf and for the cause than play it safe and hide.
Now coming to Hermione, things get a tad trickier here. Yes, she is very skilled and powerful and quick on her feet. But is she powerful enough to take on an army of adult DEs who've trained for years and have experience from the first wizarding war? To win against the darkest wizard who ever lived, who's said to be worse than Grindelwald, who's the most powerful wizard in the whole world after Dumbledore? No, I'd say she isn't. Because she's also fucking 17, she's not even done with school yet. But I think she'd live longer than Ron, or that there's a better chance of her making it out alive. But if she did die it would be extra heartbreaking coz a) Harry (and the readers) just lost 2 of the people who had been there from the very beginning, b) Hermione's parents would live on in Australia, not remembering that they had a daughter, not knowing that their daughter gave her life in hopes of saving her friend and creating a better world.
I majorly have 2 specific reasons for being this sadistic. The first one is the fact that the plot dumbs down it's main villain and his followers just to make the kids win. Voldemort (during Harry's time) is probably the dumbest villain ever written, he doesn't live up to his hype. People have already discussed how stupid his gof plan was. In ootp, during the DoM fight Lucius says that voldemort can't come get the prophecy himself coz the ministry is filled with ppl and he would risk revealing himself. But it's possible for 6 mostly dumb teenagers and an army of DEs, (who hv just escaped azkaban and are sought after by the ministry) to enter in undetected? Doesn't 👏 make 👏 any 👏 sense. The supposedly feared DEs who were trained by voldemort himself can't win against a group of teenagers. It's surprising how long it takes them to take the kids down in the DoM battle. The thing is though, this is out of character for ALL of them. It seems like they were dumbed down just so the MCs could make it out alive. Voldemort during the first WW started out as absolutely no one to having the highest class of the wizarding society obeying his every command. The whole wizarding world was so afraid of him that they wouldn't even say his name. The DEs picked out member after member of the original ootp, mostly coz they were outnumbered but also coz they're fucking death eaters. And ur telling me these guys can't fight kids? Pathetic. Also it doesn't make sense that most of the adults from the first war are dead but all the kids live. Like did the war become safer or sm shit? Instead i would have loved it if the trio got away with things in the first few books, but then realised what a war against voldemort actually means later on. But they won't back down, and they'll still stick with their friend and fight for each other and the cause anyways, and that vil have real, legitimate consequences
Now, the second reason is that it would have been an amazing but heartbreaking callback to book 1. Ron sacrifices himself in a game of chess and Hermione says that there are more important things than books and cleverness, like friendship and bravery. Ron's line of "It's you who has to go on Harry, I know it! Not me, not Hermione, you!" would have also come full circle. Back then they were still 11, so they could still get their happy ending. Now they're in a real war and the stakes are higher, but they'll stick to what they started anyways. Ron sacrifices himself so the other 2 can move forwards, Hermione's intelligence gets her further but she still needs to part with Harry. Harry needs to leave them behind and face voldemort alone because that's how it was always meant to be
And finally, it would have given us a more bittersweet ending to the series instead of that vanilla 'all is well' epilogue. Harry has lost almost every one he loved. But there's still life, there's still hope, and he lives by cherishing their memories and making their sacrifice have meaning. Kinda like the ending of the hunger games. Ik this is a kids book, but Harry Potter as a series is incredibly deep and deals with a lot of fucked up shit, so I think it could handle it if it was written well.
Thank you for coming to my TedTalk
#harry potter#hermione granger#ron weasley#golden trio era#voldemort#death eaters#mauraders#marauders era#james potter#sirius black#remus lupin#peter pettigrew#lily evens#severus snape#regulus black#first wizarding war#all these characters are SO much more skilled#but they ALL die while no one from the second generation does?#makes no fucking sense#hp meta#hp au#anti jkr#anti jk rowling#romione
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Ok, Imagine: Grindelwald in love with a Muggle
LISTEN
Yes, i was pissed off because of the other story that i read the other day, and before you ask, no, it's still no worth reading that.
So i am making another version of it, judge me as much as you want, but when you have the power to make something, you use it.
And before you go like "Grindelwald is gay", i have to tell you all this, he is not gay, he is a bitch ass manipulator <3
[THERE MIGHT BE TRIGGERS WARNINGS, SO BEWARE]
Now, isn't life full of surprises?
Or a least for you that is.
You were just an ordinary woman living in New York trying to get your shit together.
Nothing exciting ever happened to you
In fact, your life is a mess, especially your love life. You never expected anyone to notice you at all.
You didn't believe in fairytales, especially when it came to these weird stories about wizards and witches living among you.
So imagine your surprise to see an actual fucking wizard in your home.
But you were not the only one surprised in this situation, he was too.
Gellert Grindelwald is the most powerful dark wizard living these days, wanting nothing for the Wizarding World to take over the Muggle World that forced them to live hidden for centuries.
And he also wanted you.
He spotted you a year ago, when he was arrested by the MACUSA, he saw your face and that was all he could think of for the entire time he spent in that cell.
A mere muggle consumed the mind of a dark wizard.
Once he was finally free from his prison, he went after you. Which, didn't took long.
->
You were laying in your bed, deep in your sleep, while he stood on the side of your bed, watching attentively.
Yes, he could take you in that moment, you couldn't do anything against him, especially in your sleep. But there's a feeling that is making him want you to be awake for this.
He analyzed you entirely, for many, you would be an average woman, like any other, but not to Gellert, he didn't knew why, but you were divine to him.
He soon noticed your eyelids moving, you were waking up, but he didn't move, he wanted to see your face when you saw him, and mostly when you notice...
You couldn't move
He looked amused seeing your face of despair at your current state, but there's no more time, he need to do one last thing.
Take you to your new home <3
〓〓〓〓〓〓〓〓〓〓〓〓〓〓〓〓〓〓〓〓〓〓〓〓〓〓〓〓〓〓〓
A/N: What the fuck did i just wrote?
#harry potter#hp fandom#fantastic beasts#fantastic beasts and where to find them#yandere gellert grindelwald#yandere concept#yandere x reader#yandere imagine#muggle!reader
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Mashle 2 Episode 2
Other Episodes-> ep1 ep3 ep4 ep5
This episode was a riot. It was so much fun.
SO many random HP easter eggs and we get some new fun characters!!
Specifically, Margarette Macaron!!
I love them. Non-binary, music magic, and a love of tartar sauce (and a motorcycle in the ending credits!). (It me? maybe.)
Despite seeming like an overused Okama-trope, I have hope based on the spoilers I went searching for. I'm so hype for more of them in the next episode.
VA Squee: They're voiced by Koyasu, Takehito!!! The voice of Dio Brando! Touji Fushiguro! Faust VIII from Shaman King! and Clayman from TenSura!!! A very masculine voice that can also take on feminine tones and a perfect fit for Margarette. Manga Spoiler: I wonder if they'll have another va...
Ep 2 Spoilers Under the Cut! Warning IT'S SO LONG THERE'S SO MUCH.
We open in the middle of the decision to execute Mash or not, and Dumbledore, Harry, and Draco having a stand off lmao
We learn that Whalberg/Dumbledore is a famous wizard because he fought with Innocent Zero in his youth.
Does this mean the shadowed Innocent Zero who was called father by Cell War is the equivalent of Grindelwald, and Evil Jesus(Cell War (or cell wall if you wanna be a pun) is Voldemort? (Also is it father or Father lololol)
ALSO, ARE ALL THESE NAMES FROM A RNG OR PUNS CAUSE I CAN'T TELL YET lmao
We get a little speech from Wahlberg reminiscent of one of Dumbledore's speeches, but more importantly, WHAT IS THE SIGNIFICANCE OF RAYNE ALSO BOWING???
Also his protecting the headmaster is a cute touch
I get that he is one of the Divine Visionaries, but is he more important than the others? He's still a student, wait, HOW DO STUDENTS HAVE THIS MUCH POWER IN THE GOVERNMENT?? NO WONDER ITS FUCKED UP??? Did I miss something??? (His reasoning for not wanting Mash dead also being the flashback to Rayne thanking him for taking care of his little brother?)
And of course Mashle can't be executed, so they set they give him a task to delay his sentencing...
The original goal Mash had in the first place, so ABSOLUTELY NOTHING HAS CHANGED.
Them backing the fuck up as Mash punches the floor is fricken hilarious. The best parts though...
1) Innocent Pero / Innocent Gyro - Thats a great subtitle translation choice, because they can't do a straight translation. Mash calls them Innocent Pero, with pero being the onomatopoeia for LICKING something in Japanese (WHATS THAT IMPLYING :EYES:), so Innocent Gyro is a good choice XD
and 2) the scene cuts to the bad guy's lair...
which also seems to be shaking...
(I went and installed a gif maker for this >.>)
DON'T TELL ME. IS THE CHAMBER OF SECRETS UNDER THE BUREAU OF MAGIC????? (This is my theory and I'm sticking to it. Season 1 semi-stuck with random Philosopher's Stone plot points and the secret rooms, so it can be a semi-safe bet that season 2 might follow Chamber of Secrets?)
We then jump to an outing at the near by town to celebrate Mash Avoiding Death.
↓ ↓ ↓ ↓ The normal one ↓ ↓ ↓ ↓
Finn is the only actual normal one, WITH STYLE AT THAT, and I love him for it. (However he might also be the target of a Brother Complex and end up on the receiving end if Rayne can get over himself>o>)
The fucking Koalas...
What The Fuck Lmfao. That's all I have to say (but also this is a common gag for Japanese comedians and high school boys so... Still WTF. (This had my Beetle killing himself with laughter))
3 Wizards and a Macho walk into a wand shop and...
And the Macho is the one to get a wand. I'm so fascinated by this. How much damage is this thing going to do when Mash finally yeets it at someone???
The entire second half episode is so cute. Mash is so happy to have friends... I'm so happy for him....
But Also. Poor Finn. Look at these Freaks (affectionate).
YOU'RE ONE TO TALK. But Also Poor Finn.
The last bit. Our introduction to Margarette Macaron.
The fucking... shrimp.
Literally
It took Too Much Time for my ace-ass to realize they're THRUSTING the shrimp into the tartar sauce.
I love them? I love tartar sauce too. It's delicious.
They are so over the top. I love everything about them.
I've added too many photos to this post and tumblr is yelling at me.
So I will leave off with my hype for Rayne vs Margarette in the next episode!!!
↑↑↑↑Imagine me making this same face in anticipation↑↑↑↑
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Newt & Tina: Crimes of Grindelwald
Katherine Waterston: Dude, it's so much more. I mean they are like... They solidify something in the end there. "I like you. Do you like me?" "Uh, huh, I'll come back and see you." Great. That's how it ended. OK. But the fellow, he doesn't come back.
- SuriusXM
Eddie Redmayne: They are pen pals. They are writing each other romantic love letters.
- iQIYI
Katherine Waterston: o between the first and second film, Newt and Tina have been separated by the Atlantic Ocean and maintained a correspondence, which was abruptly cut off when Tina discovers that Newt is engaged to Leta Lestrange.
- Fantastic Beasts: The Crimes of Grindelwald - Makers, Mysteries and Magic: Chapter 2
Eddie Redmayne: Newt has very little social capacity, let alone with people he finds attractive. He had managed to articulate himself enough when standing on those docks in New York, to make it clear to Tina that he had great feeling for her and she clearly did too, so there was a world which I thought it all might be happy ever after. But, no. Newt thinks it’s because of him being particularly harsh about Aurors. Of course, Tina is an Auror. But actually it transpires that the reason the letters have stopped is because Tina has seen a magazine in which a photo of myself, of Leta and of my brother Theseus has appeared on the front of the magazine and it is misquoted as saying that I’m getting married to Leta Lestrange rather my brother Theseus is actually getting married to Leta Lestrange. She’s seen this. She remembered that Leta’s name being mentioned in the last film and so she thinks that I’ve gone home and forgot all about her. So, unfortunately we start the film in a place of complete miscommunication between two people that already can’t communicate.
- Fantastic Beasts: The Crimes of Grindelwald - Makers, Mysteries and Magic: Chapter 2
Eddie Redmayne: Newt, I think, has always been a bit of loner and he's been out there in the world by himself. And he doesn't feel like he had necessarily the capability to connect to people. Through the first film, he connected to this trio and particularly with this one [Tina]. So, I think, at the beginning of this film he's desperate to find her again.
- Entertainment Weekly
Eddie Redmayne: It's a bit like what Jude was saying about knowing who Dumbledore [becomes]. We all know that Newt and Tina live happily ever after, hopefully, in Dorset somewhere. But at the same point, it's about how you're going to get there. Newt has always been very content in himself and his own world, after struggling to socially engage for so long. And throughout the last adventure, he connected with three people, and particularly Tina, and suddenly it’s opened up a whole chunk of his heart. At the beginning of the film, that’s all he wants, to regain that. But suddenly, all these things are put in his way…
- Total Film
Eddie Redmayne: He just wants to get back to New York, to Tina. But his travel documents have been denied. The ministry keeps interrogating him and New York and why he was really there and what his true agenda was. He's not in a happy place. He's kind of fucked off.
- Empire Magazine
Eddie Redmayne: At the beginning of this film, Newt has come back from America when we last saw him with Tina. He has published Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them, which becomes a huge success and made him quite famous in the Wizarding community, which he doesn't deal with particularly well. And all he wants to do is go back to America to find Tina, but they put a travel ban on him. So you kind of find a slightly egged Newt at the beginning, you know what I mean? He's not particularly happy because all the British Ministry of Magic and all the bureaucracy is stopping him from getting back to the girl that he fancies.
- Sky Cinema
Eddie Redmayne: So between the first and the second Newt has gone home from New York and he's basically written up his book on fantastic creatures and he's become a bit of celebrity, but Newt's not very good with people generally and becoming a celebrity is not ideal for him, and all he wants to do is to get back to New York, to find the girl Tina that's he's fallen for, but they have removed his travel permit for dodgy reasons.
- Graham Norton Show
Eddie Redmayne: But actually Newt's all like in love with Tina. He's desperately trying to get back to New York.
- Extra TV
Eddie Redmayne: He's desperately in love with this one, but he can't get back to New York to find her, and suddenly he realizes that she's going out with someone. So all kind of hell breaks loose at that point for him.
- E! Insider
Eddie Redmayne: Basically from where the last film ends. There's this kind of six months period in which everything was gonna be so perfect for these two. They were deeply in love. But Newt's gone home and written his book and he's become sort of minor celebrity, which Newt is not cool with. He's having a few family issues, but he's not allowed to leave. All he wants to do is get back to America to see the love of his life, but he's grounded.
- Movie News
Eddie Redmayne: I love about Newt is that he’s always been an outsider, but he’s created an exoskeleton, and a way in which to exist, and that is this cocoon of his case, his basement, his creatures – those things that he can relate to. He’s a morally good, kind, empathetic wizard, but he’s created this exoskeleton that doesn’t mean he has to go out into the world. In the last movie, this one opened his heart. He’s trying to sort of entice [Tina] back into his cocoon, but the stakes in the world are so extreme now that the big question for him is, is that enough? Is it enough just to be a good person? Or at some point do you actually have to engage and make choices.
- Leaky Cauldron
Eddie Redmayne: We find Newt basically with his wings clipped in the British Ministry of Magic, surrounded by bureaucracy and trying to get a travel permit to return to New York. Part of the journey of the film is Newt and Tina reconnecting and finding each other. I love playing that side of the story because they're both hopeless, and they are also incapable of communicating properly.
Katherine Waterston: He's making excuses. They're in a long-distance relationship now. As anybody who's ever done that knows, wires do get crossed, and misunderstandings happen.
- Entertainment Weekly: The Ultimate Guide to Fantastic Beasts
Katherine Waterston: It’s so much fun that maintaining the tension and JK Rowling is so great at keep all the characters complex and even as they grow and change, events change for them, she doesn’t ever simplify them. So for example, my character, she’s more confident in this film, but she’s damaged from him, so even though she still... I mean, he’s just not who she thought he was.
- ET Canada
Katherine Waterston: You know what though, I think there is a reason for her to believe that he might have been a little fickle. Because in the first film, he says, "Oh, thanks for the hot cocoa." And then he just sneaks out of the house. You know, not that reliable.
- Kamr Local 4 News
Katherine Waterston: One of the most amazing things about being in this process with Jo is that she doesn't short-change any of the characters. There's time and room to grow throughout the entire series. Obviously, in the first film, I've been demoted at work, and then at the very end, I get my old job back. So that's a big change for Tina. And she certainly has a great deal more confidence in this film than she did in the first. She was right about what was wrong in the first film, so she feels a little bit more confident in her instincts - and I think quite proud to have that position back, and to be doing what she thrives at doing. But it's not all coming up roses for her, because there's still some things keeping her on slightly unstable ground, because some boys aren't always what they seem to be!
- Total Film
Katherine Waterston: At the end of the first film, we see she's been reinstated as an Auror, which is almost everything for Tina. Certainly prior to meeting Newt, her job was everything to her. After meeting Newt, she's got two interests in the world, you know? But being reinstated as an Auror, it’s almost like she got her identity back. She is now in a long distance relationship with Newt Scamander, and in long distance relationships, as everybody knows, sometimes communication can be a problem. And she's got a wrong idea about what’s going on, so she is sure-footed at work, but still a little unsteady in her private life with Newt.
- Sky Cinema
Katherine Waterston: She is absolutely head over heels in love with him and starting to admit that to herself. But, of course, in this film, though she's very sure-footed professionally, she's on very rocky ground romantically because she thinks he is engaged to someone else, and because they are so busy trying to save the world, they don't have time to have a cup of tea and work it out. It's the difficulties of a long distance relationiship in the middle of a global crisis.
- Crimes of Grindelwald World Premiere in Paris
Katherine Waterston: This film reveals a difficulty in the romantic relationship between Newt and Tina. So right when she's feeling more confident at work, this love, this new romance that was making her really good was now making her feel lousy. So it was really fun to play that duality that at once, I'm feeling more confident, at the same time, feeling a little less so. They are in some version of a long distance relationship in the period between the end of the first film and the beginning of the second, between New York and London.
- iQIYI
Katherine Waterston: This is one of the gifts of working on J.K. Rowling's writings is that and this is true from the beginning of the Harry Potter series. You think, "Oh." You meet a character. You think, "I know what this person is about." and then they show a quality that's in direct opposition of what you think you know about them. And isn't that true of people? We tend to be much more complicated than what maybe initially meets the eyes. And yeah so for Tina here, she's feeling great professionally. She's got her old job back, but her love life's in shambles, so she's feeling insecure in that part. It's great fun to play that stuff. Opposite act contain within one being.
- SensaCine
Katherine Waterston: Well, I think their kindred-spirits and they discovered each other in the first film and they discovered that they are both a bit locked inside a sort of protecive barrier that they put up for themselves. And they put those barriers up for different reasons, but they are both dealing with that same difficulty. I think when they recognise, "Oh, there's someone else in the world like me." and feel that kinship there, it has starts to breakdown that barrier for both of them. But then of course JK Rowling, she's always putting her character through such hell. So in this film, right when that barrier starts to break down, she hears that Newt's gone off and married somebody else. It's sort of like an automatic window in a car. The barriers are going up. The barriers are going down. And hopefully, hopefully soon she'll be free.
- WEB.ED
Katherine Waterston: I guess the only other big change is that she's really frustrated with and hurt by Newt because she thinks he's married somebody else. So those are the primary differences. Sometimes you don't have the whole story, and you jump to the conclusion too quickly. That's certainly what happened here, and then unfortunately we just don't have time to work it out because there's a lot of shenanigans. So we don't have quite enough time to sit down and have a normal chat.
- Bowu
Katherine Waterston: We were both heartbroken. I think he's married to Leta. He thinks I've got a boyfriend.
- E! Insider
Eddie Redmayne: I feel like Newt's always been a bit of an outsider, but he's found great love in his creatures and he feels very comfortable there. He's sort of created his own cocoon of a world to live in. And in the last film, this one [Tina] like opened his heart quite substantially and began to integrate him into the world. But he's been called on by his old teacher and master Dumbledore to go and help and he's gonna sort of come out of his cocoon and start to make choices. So Dumbledore tried to get him to go to Paris to help him, but really it's Katherine's character Tina that's putting him to Paris.
- The Hollycopter
Eddie Redmayne: Dumbledore tries to persuade Newt to go to France and Newt, not quite persuaded. Then he hears that the love of his life is in France and that persuades him.
- Maoyan
Katherine Waterston: It’s complicated, all the relationships, it’s the same answer. They still care about each other very much, but in the period between the first film and the second film, a misunderstanding happens where Tina comes to believe that Newt has married somebody else. So she thinks she now has a job of trying to get over him and forget him, and while she’s trying to do that, he comes along to remind her that he exists, which is very frustrating for her, because she’s trying to move on and forget about it, and doesn’t really let him get a word when he tries, so he can’t explain to her, but he is not in fact married to somebody else. So it’s gonna take a little bit longer for them to, I think, get to the really romantic.
- Top Stars
Katherine Waterston: And so she has to sort of moved on and get on with her life and it’s a big bummer, but she has her work to do, so she just, that’s kind of Tina’s way of coping with painful things. She just pours her, all of her energy and focus into her work, and off to Paris, she goes. And then Newt shows up there and really messes up her progress and her investigation and kind of chases her around until she is forced to listen to his story about what happened.
- Fantastic Beasts: The Crimes of Grindelwald - Makers, Mysteries and Magic: Chapter 2
Eddie Redmayne: And often what’s interesting is that even they start the film at loggerheads, subconsciously they are brilliant at working together.
- Fantastic Beasts: The Crimes of Grindelwald - Makers, Mysteries and Magic: Chapter 2
Katherine Waterston: There’s a chance that she might kick him in the shins. She’s mad. She thinks she’s been jilted. She’s got her pride, but, of course, he can see through that. I think what’s fun about being reunited is that even when there’s difficulty between them, they both love adventure, and so there are these wonderful moments in the beginning of the film when they first reconnect where she’s hurt and offended and disappointed, and then suddenly have so much fun with him. And then it’s about like, "Oh, God, this guy’s fun to be around." And has to deal with the fact that he’s wonderful and she can’t have him.
- Fantastic Beasts: The Crimes of Grindelwald - Makers, Mysteries and Magic: Chapter 2
Katherine Waterston: To just be really annoyed because of course that thing when someone has really gotten under your skin or is really frustrating you, it's typically like a sound indication that you're drawn to them. It's really [unintelligible]. And so it was really fun to push against that, to resist the romance in a way, to give the audience that pleasure of saying, " Oh, these two idiots. They don't know what we know. They don't know it's going to work out.”
- Mugglenet
Katherine Waterston: I think Newt did a little bit of more of the rest doing in the last film because I’d been demoted at work and couldn’t practise magic as powerfully as I am now. So it’s maybe a little more balanced now. I think it’s just one of those things that these two people… they obviously have more similarities. They are both a little awkward and shy in some ways, but really thriving in high stakes, sort of dangerous situations and feel comfortable in those situations. Some people go kind of foggy in a crisis, and these two people, they get clearer. So there are a lot of wonderful moments where we have to act very quickly and efficiently, and it’s fun to try to seem like I’m someone more coordinated than I actually am.
- Fantastic Beasts: The Crimes of Grindelwald - Makers, Mysteries and Magic: Chapter 6
Katherine Waterston: She can feel a bit awkward sometimes or not quite know what to say sometimes. But I think in high stakes situations, she's actually very expressive and sometimes even a little explosive.
Eddie Redmayne: Mr Scamander!
Katherine Waterston: I've definitely given him a lot of lip. I've given him a hard time, and they actually... It was one of my favorite things about their dynamic is that they can kind of bicker with each other freely even though in many situations they both are quite self-contained.
Eddie Redmayne: But they're kind of getting off on it, as well.Katherine Waterston: Yeah, yeah, yeah. It’s like they become more verbal in their flirtation with one another than maybe they are in other circumstances.
- YouDao
Katherine Waterston: The beauty of this relationship is that we know one thing that someday these two characters get married. And J.K. Rowling's having a very good time making that journey to the church a slow and sometimes painful one. But I think it's fun for the audience, because they know more than we know. They can see how much these characters love each other, even when sometimes they are having difficulties seeing or communicating with one another.
Eddie Redmayne: But also in this film you get to see Newt try flirting, and it's a very awkward flirting.
- Crimes of Grindelwald Japan Premiere
Katherine Waterston: Well, I suppose when you are wounded in love, it kind of tests how much you care about the other person. They hurt your feelings, you might think, "Forget this guy. I don't wanna have anything to do with him." And I think in a way, because she still carries a torch for him, because she still cares about him even when she finds out that, you know, or she thinks she knows he's married someone else, she still has strong feelings for him. So in a way, in that sense, the relationship doesn't change. She still cares about him as much as she did in the first film, If not more, because her love for him has been challenged in some way. The wires are getting crossed a lot here, so there's loads of misunderstandings, but certainly Tina doesn't know exactly what Leta meant to Newt. But by the time that Leta and Tina meet, some things have been cleared up.
- Crimes of Grindelwald China Premiere
Eddie Redmayne: It's actually… Salamanders is not a cheesy line. What I love about that weird line is that Tina gets it. Jacob [says], "Don't say that," and secretly Newt knows that she's going to love it.
Katherine Waterston: She going to get it. Eddie Redmayne: It's, like, primitive.
- Mugglenet
Ezra Miller: I would argue that it's actually one of the best and I feel like that's the point of what we witness and experience in the film. It's beautiful and to say something that lacks conventional romanticism or sort of objectifying regularity and to say something that really corresponds. And Newt says it to Tina, right? And Newt loves salamanders and all creatures of the magical world. And you know the salamander is a beast in Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them－A fire dwelling. Little reptile. So I think it's actually the most beautiful type of thing you could say. It's something where reflects your passion in a way that actually defies convention. So you are not just saying some bs that everyone says to their significant other.
- Chris Van Vliet
Katherine Waterston: I think with the danger of a master manipulator as Grindelwald is if you permit yourself to no longer think for yourself, and I think Tina, luckily when you see her in this film, she’s just gotten to a point when she’s really owned her own point of view, and so much learnt from Newt, to think for herself and to embrace her individuality, and that’s the kind of thing that protects you from that sort of sheep mentality and group thought that can be very very dangerous, where you say, "I don’t have to think for myself. I’m just gonna let this guy tell me what to do." So I don’t think she’s too much in danger.
- Warner Channel Latam
Katherine Waterston: At the beginning of the first film, the world was much simpler for Tina. She had studied hard. She had gotten ahead at work. The rules and the system made sense to her, and this guy shows up and says," Your methods are insane in your country and we have much more advanced ways of handling a lot of issues in my country", and it just started to broaden her eyes. So when you see her in the second film, she's more confident because she's been reinstated as an auror, and there is a risk in going out on her own then, but she's also more empowered to go out on her own at this stage as well because she knows her instincts are good and she knows it's valuable to question the system.
- Evanna Lynch Interview
#fantastic beasts#crimes of grindelwald#tina goldstein#newt scamander#coginterview#newtina#cogbook#cogmagazine
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More unhinged ships!
Aunt Marge/Gellert Grindelwald (read a fic about that during a rare pair fest like ... 15 years ago. Good times)
Remus Lupin/Voldemort
Moaning Myrtle/ Ron Weasley
Albus Dumbledore/The guy who accused him of stealing the twelve uses of dragon's blood from him (too lazy to google the name rn)
Molly Weasley/Rita Skeeter
thank you very much, anon - really quite impressed by these, the random-number generator is turning into a real pal.
marge dursley/gellert grindelwald
judge rules... flop. grindelwald is foreign, and our marge prefers her fascists homegrown. she can pass the time writing y/n fanfics starring nigel farage.
remus lupin/lord voldemort
i have - for my manifold sins - answered this one before, and i remain committed to my opinion that it would... bang.
myrtle warren/ron weasley
while - despite a common accusation levelled against him of having the emotional range of a teaspoon [which, may i say, is a bit fucking rich coming from hermione "why are you so upset your rabbit is dead?" granger] - ron is probably the only member of the trio who possesses the emotional maturity to handle myrtle's whole... deal. he's also a man who loves to gently tease the object of his affections.
myrtle demonstrably cannot take a joke - "you'll take the secret to the sewers" is a top-notch read from ron, and i won't hear otherwise - and so this is flopping hard.
ivor dillonsby/albus dumbledore
yes, i'll back this enormously. academic rivals is a hot trope, as is catching [and then engaging in a thorough exploration of kink] with a thief.
rita skeeter/molly weasley
this is going to slap because it's an example of the extremely cultured enemies-to-lovers-to-enemies-again-to-let's-see dynamic.
molly hates rita at the start of goblet of fire, when she's slagging off the ministry response to the death eaters at the quidditch world cup. then she thinks she's an angel when she's writing fake news about harry having a wee sob when he remembers his parents are dead. then she hates her again when harry tells her these stories are false. then she presumably backs her for doing that quibbler interview with harry as a way to counter the prophet's relentless propaganda.
hot!
plus, you just know molly was hooked on the life and lies of albus dumbledore.
as she should have been.
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If my mom and I had a podcast... *Lower Your Volume*
What started this? I was mentioning how in my fic, The Consort Tournament, Dumbledore dies acknowledging his many mistakes, but still manages to be a dick as he goes by refusing to use the name Voldemort prefers. And I was saying how that feels in-character even in my story's AU.
Mom agreed. And then this happened. I missed about 3 minutes of her rant because it didn't occur to me to record. And then it cut off when something popped up on my tablet's screen and stopped the recording, but she'd kept going for another minute.
It was funny af though!
Transcript:
Mom: -Piece of fucking shit! Because let me tell you something, anybody tried pulling that shit with my kid, I ain't having it, you ain't having it, we ain't having it!
Me: *laughing*
Mom: And I don't understand what the adults in that fucking story are thinking! This son of a bitch-! Absolutely power corrupts absolutely! And he was corrupted from Day 1!
Me: *laughing*
Mom: Don't be telling me he wasn't boning fucking Grindelwald, that he was like little Mr. Light & Sunshine then either! Oh, absolutely not! Oh, the hell the fuck no! No, he was not.
Me: *snickering*
Mom: He was a manipulative piece of shit! Absolutely. And I think he orchestrated the circumstances so that he could get into a fight with him, and then beat him, so everybody could *pats her own shoulder* him on the fucking back. Then everybody kissing his ass, giving him- Hey, have this! Rule over us! Hey! Do this, rule ov- fucking manipulative, lying sack of shit.
Me: *cackling*
Mom: I WOULD TAKE MY CHANCES WITH VOLDEMORT ANY EFFIN DAY! You know why? Cuz what you see is what you get? He's a Slytherin to the core. He's the Heir if Slytherin! He's a fucking Dark Lord and proud of it! He don't like no muggles, he don't like muggleborns! He is-He's not even a Pureblood, but he likes to think in his head that he is. But at least- at least you know here's an asshole and this is what you're gonna be dealing with. But NO! Dumbledore's like, 'Oh, I'm just so bright and sunshine and love and all that!' FUCK! While you're rotten to the core, planning the death of a child! That's not even yours!
Me: *snorting*
Mom: What a fucking piece of shit! ISTG, I have so much hate in my soul for that piece of shit! Seriously!
Me: *wheezing*
Mom: There's so many times I wo- I would have just inserted myself into that storyline and say, 'Hey, Harry, come here, pal! We need to have us a discussion. Because there's something wrong about this Headmaster who isn't your ANYTHING taking a little too much interest in you, and that's creepy. That's fucking creepy! Because in the real world, if there's an adult taking that much interest in a child and pulling 'em in the office all the time and doing all the I- we'd all be thinking the same thing, wouldn't we? Yes, we would! Fucking creepy!
Me: *still wheezing*
Mom: I would sneak Harry out of there and like, and I would've like, gone across the ocean, and we would've gone to fucking- I don't know, Ilvermorny or something! I would not let him stay in that area! And what the hell? Jus-
Me: *coughing*
Mom: Where the hell does Dumbledore pull it out of his ass - PULL-IT-OUT-OF-HIS-ASS - that Harry absolutely HAS to die, so that Voldemort could die? Did you even try and alternative? No, you didn't. No, you didn't. You absolutely did not.
Me: *choking*
Mom: You just planned the poor kid's death. His life isn't miserable enough, let's make it even worse! Fucking piece of shit! I- I- I don't know if you can tell but I hate him.
Me: *cackling*
Mom: I hate him more than I hate Umbridge and I hate Umbridge. I hate him. I ha- I hate them both more than I hate Voldemort. I actually like Voldemort because I prefer people who are straight up and he's straight up asshole! And he knows it!
Me: And a bitch!
Mom: He let's you know it!
Me: He's a drama queen. He's a bitch! And he's proud of it!
Mom: Everybody knows it.
Me: Takes a whole fucking chapter to brag about how great he is!
Mom: *claps her hands* He- He loves to monologue. He's loves to talk about how incredibly intelligent he is, how incredibly powerful he is... But you know where he's coming from.
Me: *snorts*
Mom: He ain't gonna come outta yo- nowhere and say, 'Oh well, listen, I planned your death btw.' No. Nope. Uh-uh. Nope. No. Nah. Voldemort, you know what to plan for. Dumbledore, that lying, two-piece sack of fucking saggy ass shit!
Me: *wheezing again*
Mom: Tell me I'm wrong!
Me: *giggling* No, the funniest thing is- I'm always writing posts about how much I hate him, but damn man, you've been going for 4 minutes! And that's only when I started recording. You were already going before that! *cackling*
Mom: I jus- I can't stand him. Every-story! And even- Even if I read a story where he's supposedly a good guy, which to me is really stretching it because I don't view him as a good guy, I view him as a fucking lying menace!
Me: *cackles*
Mom: Anybody! Anybody who plans a child's death! 'Oh, and let's- let's then withhold- let's withhold important information involving said child!' *coughs*
Me: Yeah, I'm salty about the Sirius thing, cuz if he ju- if he'd just been like a little up front about it, Sirius wouldn't have had to die, I'm just saying!
Mom: That was planned!
Me: I'm so mad!
Mom: *unintelligible words* You what- He would have had- If he would have lived with Sirius, he would have grown a backbone. He would have become more self-sufficient. He would have known what his expectations are as uh- you know, as an Heir of- Potter. He would have known what he should-have-known, if he had grown up in the wizarding world.
Me: And he wouldn't have such a weird relationship with the memory of his parents.
Mom: And also, the sad fact is, because he wouldn't have grown up in an abusive- ev- I- neglecting people and starving them and knocking into- into fuckin- that's- that's abusive!
Me: Uh! Yes! And hitting him with a frying pan!
Mom: He wouldn't have grown up abused! And therefore, he wouldn't have clung to the first person to show him some consideration.
Me: God, man.
Mom: And that's not really consideration when you take in the fact that that dumb fucking ugly ass son of a bitch PLANNED HIS DEATH! How can you look somebody in the eye, look a child in the eye, knowing that you planned their death?!
Me: Or in HBP when he was like, 'I knew it was gonna be rough for you.' Bitch, WHAT?! *CACKLES*
Mom: Bitch! Bitch, bend over, I'll show you what's rough. That ain't fucking right. That ain't fucking right!
Me: *MINOR WRETCHING FROM LAUGHIGN SO HARD*
Mom: You're getting me all fired up!
Me: I DIDN- I DIDN-! *laughing* It wa- I was talking about fanfic and it ended up on thi- *giggling*
Mom: Yeah! Just the very mention of tha- I hate him. I just- I abho- I abhor him. I would rather be locked in a room with your father!
Me: OH MY GOD!
Mom: -Than have to deal with Dumbledore. I fucking hate people like that!
Me: Deadass! *sniffles*
Mom: Dumbledore ain't not Gryffindor btw, he's a Slytherin.
Me: Yeah, and not the good kind either!
Mom: No, not the good kind. Not the good kind. Like I said, I will take my chances with Voldemort any day.
Me: Yeah. I'd take Slughorn over Dumbledore no matter how weird Slughorn is.
Mom: I can't stand Slughorn but that's because he's creepy.
Me: Yeah. yeah, yeah, yeah.
Mom: And he's not like, a malicious- He's just literally, just- his mind is just like, where- what-who- who has the connection that can help me? It's not like, 'Hey, Harry, I planned your death already!'
Me: The funniest thing is that Slughorn and Dumbledore are both collectors. It's just that, you know, Dumbledore's collection is- *cuts off*
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A little Dance In The Cave - Part 2 || Newt Scamander x fem!reader
A/n: It's my third fic and yes I'll keep counting
Summary : After the events in the cave that put you and Newt on edge. You have to be patient to finally find a moment together, but it's not easy when you play a crucial role in the plan to stop the most powerful wizard of all time.
Part 1 is here
Masterlist ⚜
Warnings : This is another slowburn but nothing too graphic
I don't give permission to repost my work, if you want to share it just reblog it
Words count : 1361
Drawn in by the firm but gentle grip Newt had on your arm and waist, you followed Theseus as he walked toward Hogwarts. He seemed to know what he was doing there, so you didn't let yourselves get left behind.
The more you walked towards the castle, the more memories started bubbling in your mind. The shapeshifting classes with Professor McGonagall where you excelled, the defense against evil classes with Dumbledore, and of course your friends with whom you did the four-hundredths with. You also remembered the parties, ooh yes the grand Hogwarts parties from Christmas to the prom. You chuckled at the memory, Theseus had invited you and of course you had accepted. You were very close before... before he left school four years before you and became very busy with his new job at the Ministry. He had the skills, he was one of the best and he still is.
But you knew that a separation was to be expected, you were 4 years apart and on a school scale that meant a separation at some point. Fortunately or unfortunately for Theseus, he had a brother who was 8 years younger than him and therefore only 4 years younger than you. You got along very well and very quickly. You had common passions like nature and animal watching.
While you, a Slytherin, used to somehow have little talks with snakes, cats and ravens, the young Hufflepuff preferred to study them, to take care of them in remote parts of the castle. It was only a matter of time before you started dating and... "No, no, we'll stop getting lost in our thoughts" you thought.
As you walked up the stairs the large door opened and Dumbledore appeared in the doorway. After he greeted Theseus, he walked towards you and Newt and smirked when he saw his hand on your hip. Newt noticed and removed his hand, keeping the other firmly holding yours.
You entered in the colossus place and after seeing some students having lunch in the Great Hall, you walked through the corridors to the Room of Requirement, guided by Dumbledore.
And just as Newt thought it wouldn't be long before nightfall and to finally get some good quality time with you, he was forced to sit through 4 hours of Dumbledore's speech about his former friend and obviously ex, the great Grindelwald.
He himself worried from time to time knowing that he would retain absolutely nothing from this interview. His gaze was constantly shifting between you and them, your lips and them. Oooh how they'll feel against his and... "No we'd better stay focused we're talking about something important here, the world depends on and... but she'd be so beautiful squirming under... okay stop" he struggled with his internal thoughts
And you could feel it, his gaze on your body, certainly full of love - but he was eye-fucking you nevertheless - his firm hand on yours and his breathing against your cheek. Theseus was smirking at you he knew how much his brother liked you but he didn’t know he was this is open about his feelings with you.
It was a huge relief when you finally went outside to the place where you would spend the night. A place that was none other than the house of Dumbledore's brother, Abelforth. At first glance, he was kind of cold and the more the evening went on, the more you could see in his eyes that he was a good person but only broken. Good but broken, those words echoed in your mind and you thought of your friend Queenie, you missed her very much and as you looked at Jacob who joined you soon after you arrived at Dumbledore's brother's house, you couldn't help but feel sorry for your other friend. They were meant to be together and you knew he would do anything for her.
As if Newt saw the sadness build in your eyes, he gently took your hand under the table and slightly squeezed it. He looked around at everyone and told them that you were going to leave for the evening and after saying goodnight to everyone you headed to the guest room that Aberforth had designated for you.
Once in the room you went to settle on the bed and took off your heeled boots that were hurting your feet terribly. Meanwhile, Newt closed the door and took off his suit jacket. When he turned around he saw you from behind taking off your vest and waving your wand. He hung up his jacket and when he turned around again he saw you in... a nightdress !
"What ? It’s time to go to sleep" you smirked while batting your eyelashes it sounded more like a question
For a second he froze and stared at you with a hungry look. You felt weak in the legs and before you could figure out what was going on he was in front of you and put his hands on your cheeks. And as you put your hands on his shoulders he leaned down and caught your lips in a fiery kiss. After a moment he pulled back and you saw a thin blush on his cheeks.
"Sorry but I've been waiting for this all day... i-is it okay ?" he stuttered when you leaned in to kiss his cheeks "More than okay and I wouldn't complain if you did it again" you giggled
He smiled before kissing you again with more fervor if it was possible, your hands moved to wrap around his neck. He gently moved you back to the bed and when your legs hit the bed you dropped down. This new position allowed you to wrap your legs around him to bring his body closer to yours. By doing this you earned a groan from him. And things got out of hand, his hands went to the top of your nightdress trying to pull down the straps while yours went dangerously low on his pants...
When suddenly, the door swung open in a wooosh, revealing Jacob gasping on the other side, he must have had to run to get upstairs. But it didn’t matter to you, as you squeaked hiding under the sheets Newt stood up and straightened his posture smoothing his clothes not to attract the attention of Jacob who looked at you with big eyes.
"Um if I'm interrupting I can come back later... well no it's weird... s -start what you were doing again we'll talk about it tomorrow... I'm s -sorry..." he stuttered as you gently cut him off only poking your head out from under the sheet "Jacob don't we teach muggles to knock on the door before entering ? "he shook his head sheepishly
As for Newt, he was red, the tomatoes had better watch out. Jacob apologized to you one last time but couldn't help but wink and give a thumb up to Newt. When he left Newt locked the door this time and made sure it was sealed.
You got out from under your sheets and repositioned yourself on the bed waiting for Newt to come back. You summoned your wand to cast a soundproofing spell in the room and it took a few moments for your boyfriend to recover from his emotions. The tension rose quite quickly from there. Perhaps knowing that you might be disturbed again you dispensed with the romance, you’ll have all your time when you’ll be back home. You soon found yourself out of your nightdress and he out of his clothes.
Newt took the time to look at you though, recalling the events of the day with Theseus in the cave, then the dance to escape the manticores and Dumbledore's never-ending story speech... You had been through a lot already and there was still so much to come. You didn't know when you'd get the chance to have a room to yourselves again. So you dedicated yourself to making the best of it, thanking every second the soundproofing spell that would spare you from strange looks tomorrow... other than one Newt knew Jacob would give him.
~
~
A/n : Thank you for following me throughout this journey I hope you liked it 💜💙
Taglist : @malfoyscamander , @cl0vr , @ilovemanypeople , @glossy1pearl
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Hi! Tbh, I have a question similar to Newt's: why Grindelwald didn't kill them? In the beginning, when he was furious he most definitely tried, but he changed his mind later on? Was it after he noticed that he can have Theseus do anything he wants by threatening Newt? Or after Theseus cast the Killing Curse? While in the beginning Theseus did notice correctly that Grindelwald was disgusted with him and thought him beneath, and was using empty threats... I think that after Brazilian Ministry something shifted in their relations? Did Grindelwald notice and decided to get rid of Theseus by any means, but in the end he could not help himself? I cannot pinpoint what made Grindelwald change (or snap) in such a way? What would even happen to Scamanders if they did not got away when they did?
thank you for the ask !! I have a few answers that kind of twine together. spoilers below for chapters maybe 28 onwards in my fic and also a light content warning for vague implied violence, maybe
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So I feel like there are quite a few factors in this. I suppose the first reason that Grindelwald didn’t kill them outright is that I like to think that the brothers together could put up a decent fight.
After all, they managed to deflect the fire together at the rally and Theseus also managed to hold against it briefly on his own, while many of the other Aurors were burnt quite quickly, so I think they’d both be quite good at defending, even if they probably wouldn’t win. I also think Newt’s particular brand of magic would be quite hard to counter and Grindelwald hadn’t actually come up against it yet.
With Grindelwald and Theseus’s relationship, it’s also complicated. I write Grindelwald as a man who’s had a traumatic upbringing with a series of events that made him hate Muggles and consider them in need of controlling, based on something Mads said in an interview I think Grindelwald is more emotional than, say, Voldemort, and so he feels a degree of pity and paternalism towards them. However, this has also really messed up his view on love and relationships.
Grindelwald has also had this vision that Theseus will bring Albus to him so he knows he technically has to keep him alive lest he lose that chance at a reunion.
After the Brazilian Ministry, Grindelwald is ready to narrow the odds on that chance. Because he’s so pissed off LOL. After all, he reasons there are other good plans to win Albus back and this is NOT proving to be one of them. Wrong proxy altogether. Theseus has been too defiant and got in the way of too many plans, required too much “care” and attention, messed with Percival and Grindelwald’s relationship, made Grindelwald aware of Vinda’s darker side again, etc. Grindelwald knows realistically that if he makes Theseus go insane and sticks him in a basement, he’ll be less likely to fulfil that vision, but it’s more likely than if Grindelwald just killed him outright.
Hence his threat to make Theseus “disappear very slowly” instead of “bitch I’m fucking killing you.” So you’re right that there is a shift! It’s not necessarily that Grindelwald wants to kill Theseus, but in some sense he’s definitely trying to “get rid” of anything too essential.
And then in the actual fight, Grindelwald is angry, but he’s also humiliated. I think Grindelwald might actually be one of the few characters in the story who isn’t so afraid of showing vulnerability. He doesn’t necessarily care that he acted all devoted and excited to Newt-as-Albus as much as he feels he’s been outwitted, although of course there is still some sore pride there. He’s confronted with the idea that either this is the vision now, and it was a trick all along, or he has to wait and see if the vision does come true like some mere pawn beholden by fate.
And I also think it’s the emotional rollercoaster. He’s been putting so much work into that moment and the adrenaline and so on have to go somewhere, as he’s quite capricious.
There’s also no guarantee the reunion with Albus would have been entirely happy after the fact and I think Grindelwald would have been bubbling with a lot of difficult, harsh emotions. Possibly sparked by that first surge of uncertainty when Newt-as-Albus wasn’t happy enough to see him and also seemed strangely distracted by Theseus. Which has been a thorn in Grindelwald’s side ever since his first interrogation of Theseus.
So he’s seesawing back and forth between wanting to kill them both just out of sheer rage, the mockery they’ve made of his one dream, how cruelly they’ve tricked him—and knowing that if Theseus dies, that vision could still be unfulfilled. That’s why Grindelwald goes for Newt first. And it satisfies him to see Theseus get stressed as it seems like revenge. Hurting Newt is not part of the zero-sum game that Grindelwald killing Theseus would end up being, and Grindelwald at this point is probably planning on either taking both prisoner—as he enjoys collecting people—or “indulging” this burst of emotion and seeing where the situation takes him, preferably to inflicting great pain.
When Theseus fires the Killing Curse, Grindelwald might be like “okay, slight problem has been created” in the back of his mind, but he’s not particularly impressed or intimidated. If anything, Newt’s the most concerned in this situation, and he doesn’t even hold much of a grudge against Theseus about it. So all the pain on Theseus’s side means nothing, while the pain on Grindelwald’s side is his excuse of this entire situation, because it’s not truly personal (Grindelwald believes), it’s for the future and the greater good.
Grindelwald is still disgusted by Theseus. That’s a great observation and I’m glad it’s been picked up on :D That doesn’t really change. The only thing Grindelwald is tempted by is the emotions that would come from hurting Theseus in this way, the feeling of vindication and the elevation of himself as superior, somehow “more”, in comparison. When Grindelwald is basically like “I don’t want to do this, but I have to, for the greater good”, he does mean it.
He has the kind of interest one might have for an interesting specimen towards Newt, because Dumbledore seems fond of Newt. And he might have felt the same towards Theseus if Theseus wasn’t actively trying to hunt down and apprehend Grindelwald for five years. And I also think Grindelwald, while not being impressed or intimidated by Theseus, does see him as a foil in some ways. And they’ve spent a lot of time together—some of it “offscreen” in the story while in other peoples’ perspectives—and so when Theseus is trying to appeal to Grindelwald, Grindelwald is busy projecting onto Theseus.
This leads to a bit of a warped train of thought where Grindelwald essentially concludes he can’t kill Theseus outright, not yet, but he needs to protect himself and protect Albus. So he doesn’t really snap, but he reaches this twisted state of mind where Grindelwald considers doing what he does to Theseus a necessary crime against his own morality because it seems the only lesson left to “teach” (as Grindelwald himself might have been taught in youth by the Muggles) to leave lasting enough damage to end this fight. That’s partly why when Theseus says something along the lines of “don’t you think you’re better than this?”, Grindelwald says “you’re not” but “I would have been”.
Maybe Grindelwald would have taken this lesson out on Newt to cow Theseus, but I think Theseus just successfully redirected the situation and pushed a lot of buttons. I also think Grindelwald can sense Theseus is lying when he says Grindelwald killing Newt would make Theseus obey. It makes sense, given killing Leta really did anything but.
And because Grindelwald knows what he does to Theseus is morally reprehensible, he’s in this twisted state of mind where he decides is some kind of awful necessary act. Grindelwald’s attitudes towards Newt and Theseus are different enough that while Newt is still definitely in danger and subject to twisted perspectives from Grindelwald, Grindelwald wouldn’t have done the same thing. He would have come up with some other torment that didn’t stain him personally, because Grindelwald is quite selfish, I think. Selfish and self-sacrificial at the same time.
What would have happened if they hadn’t escaped? I admit I haven’t thought this through as much, but I think Grindelwald would have tried to take them prisoner. However, they’re both fairly convinced they would have been killed outright just because Grindelwald presented so furious it would have been hard to see all these other emotions and plans. And Newt, especially, has a less nuanced image of Grindelwald just because of the nature of their encounters. Like he associates Grindelwald with destruction and the Obscurical incident, while Theseus has seen more of the sly possession thanks to his encounters with Percival. So actually, afterwards, although I haven’t written it in explicitly (and now I’m thinking I should LOL rather than just having it be implied as rumours on the grapevine), Grindelwald is disgusted at himself and the logical “price” he was “made” to pay in this fight, to claim a psychological if not physical victory that still leaves his vision somewhat open to realisation.
Wow, I have WAXED on. I’m sorry if this is a bit incoherent haha, I feel like I need to add in some Grindelwald perspective chapters or scenes now that I’ve written this out! Maybe I’ll put one in after the election, actually, when it doesn’t need to be so embedded in Dumbledore’s team. (Thinking about it, that’s actually kind of necessary and I skipped it because I got too wrapped up on the Theseus & Newt stuff, so thank you for the perspective!) I hope that sort of answers your question? <3
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The ugly feeling of guilt clutched the ice cold heart of the former Dark Wizard Gellert Grindelwald. Being good was not just difficult but impossible for him.
Grindelwald was never good at being nice.
Being spoiled by his parents and being naturally intelligent, talented and handsome made him arrogant.
It was difficult to simmer down his inner fire.
He married his dream girl. A damn muggle. He was racist towards them. He considered them s burden on society. Waste of space, food, money and the list can go on and on.
Grindelwald first raped you out of hate. You were teasing him by your whispers and feathery touches. Like a damn ghost.
Never giving him inner peace. Somehow, he couldn't kill you. He just couldn't do it. His pride as a man was degraded and he blamed you. He raped other muggle women in the past to humiliate them. Not out of lust.
Grindelwald then tried to sleep with beautiful witches whether respected or even brothels. But, your lovely doll face would stop him.
Eventually, he kidnapped you to be his sex slave. After realizing he loved you. He begged for forgiveness and asked for marriage.
You wanted to leave but that was one thing Grindelwald couldn't give you. He would go insane without you.
So, you gave him conditions, you made him imprison his minions, stop his racist feelings, and use his intelligence to make both worlds a better place.
And therapy was one of them...
That's right.
Like a child, Grindelwald had to see a psychiatrist named Hannibal Lecter. He somewhat looked like him only much younger. Oh, well.
Brushing it off, he came back home early than usual. The oven had food inside and the non meat dishes were already placed on the table.
You must be in his room. Or should he say your new room you shared. Gellert smiled.
He took off his jacket and carried it with him. He opened the door quietly. You were applying makeup. The said man felt flattered but kept his stoic face.
You were dressing to impress him. Like him you were trying to make it work. Not the way he was expecting this relationship to start.
He regretted raping, kidnapping and then raping you again. You forgave him.
Name figured you were just kind of fucked up in the head but good. A little weird. Maybe that can change.
Placing his jacket on the bed. Grindelwald hugged you from behind and cupped your breasts. He inhaled the crook of your neck and began to lick it.
"Are you mad at me?" He whispered.
You shook your head
"Don't lie." He made you stand up from your vanity desk seat and lead you to the bed. He pushed you down on it to lay down. He hovered over you.
"Look." He rolled his eyes and snickered like a child. "I am sorry." It was a mouthful. He hated apologizing due to his privileged life. A rich man from a European country and a wizard.
He didn't mind submitting to you. Thank Merlin you didn't make him apologize to his victims of abuse in the past when he was racist.
He rather cut his tongue off.
But, you were nice.
He teasingly trailed his fingers between your chest. "I am sorry for yelling at you in the morning."
It was almost a month of marrying him. You would call him Grindelwald and never his first name. He ordered you but you would always forget. The first few times, he let it pass. Now, he got mad how you were so formal to him. He wants not only be called his first name but endearments. It was taking too damn long and so slow.
You almost cried in fear. He stopped hitting you but he still scared you. His vein almost popped on his forehead and he snarled like a beast.
The Wizard left without a word in anger.
"Let me make it up to you." He whispered against your lips huskily.
"But..." He smirked down at you teasing you. "I have three questions."
You blinked in surprise.
"Who is in charge?" He squeezed your right boob gently.
Your face turned red. "You... Gellert."
Uh oh. You saw the flame of desire ignite even more. Shit.
He will have sex now? Your dinner will burn!
You wanted him to fuck you after.
Should you tell him? But, he works all day in an office and you knew he was struggling trying to be kind.
With the way he goes to that creepy look alike psychiatrist. You should please him.
You ran your nails through his gray hair.
He groaned in pleasure and began to pant like a wild animal.
"Good. Who do you belong to?"
You gulped. His hands roaming your clothed curves. "I belong to you, Gellert."
He kissed your ear and began to gently nibble it like a mouse with his cheese.
"Question number three..." His fingers went under your skirt and rubbed your soaking underwear. Horny girl.
"Does Daddy know best?" He slyly grinned.
He was rubbing it in. You averted your eyes and blushed harder. You would hate how he assumed you would cheat and look at other men.
You thought he didn't care of you but was just possessive of property. Now, you realized he loves you.
You smiled. Grindelwald blinked in a pleasant surprise.
The ice was melting between those breasts of yours. You were slowly accepting him.
His efforts were not for nothing.
He felt childish joy inside his chest and libido rising. His dick pointing up and wet as fuck. Maybe you might conceive. He will not use magic to prevent a child this time.
You answered yes with his name followed.
Using magic to remove the dish from the oven and turning it off. The older man removed your panties without asking you to lift your hips. He doesn't need your help. So, he ripped that soaking wet fabric and tossed it to the side.
"yeah, he always does." He inserted his long white cock and started pounded you stupid. Your fucked up expression assured him he was doing his job right.
You could be a good prostitute. Luckily, he found you before you could discover your true calling career. He knew you would have endless number one fans and customers.
He is one lucky bastard.
This is a one shot for i-d-91
I know I have been favoring Miles Quaritch.
I am working on dark Desires. I know how to end it and the middle. I just don't know how to start it without causing confusion.
#gellert grindelwald#fantastic beasts#fantastic beasts 3#yandere gellert grindelwald x reader#mads mikkelsen#mads mikkelsen x reader
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Dumbledore for the unhinged character bingo?
but of course!
whew boy, no bingos but this was a lot.
guess we'll go left to right row by row?
Daddy Issues: um, yeah. It might be glossed over in canon and fanon, but it seems pretty clear that Albus has at least some. Percival Dumbledore was taken from him early, after a moment where he lost control and inflicted violence on those who were both crueler and weaker than him, all in the name of protecting his family. That probably left very deep impressions on the young Albus' psyche: both I can't let myself be locked away like he was, my family needs me and doing the right thing means suffering.
Adult!Albus takes many risks and makes many choices that lead to unhappiness twined with safety, and I think it all comes back to his parents and his home life. We also don't ever see him with a mentor: we know he "worked with" Nicolas Flamel but we don't have a clear idea of how close they were, how long they worked together or anything like that. Like many men in the HP series, he's probably another one who searches in vain for a father figure to replace his original one.
*Incoherent sobbing*: me every day since I finished Half-Blood Prince as a kid, honestly. I'm still not over it. Deathly Hallows was the second of the one-two punches. And then more Dumbledore and Dumbledore family meta is coming out all the time, digging into just how lonely Albus must have been for years and years. Think about how the people he let himself love toward the end of his life all either died or nearly died. Think about how major themes of Albus' life story are trust and love and betrayal. You'll start crying too.
Angst Angst ANGST: So, Albus never gets to be a child past the age of about ten. His parents' combined choices mean that he has to spend all his school years lying to most of his acquaintances about the most intimate parts of his home life and his sister. He also learns a lot of direct and indirect fucked up lessons that stick with him until he's at least seventeen. His brother resents him. His father dies in jail with people cursing his name. His mother is killed by his sister as he graduates school. Then, at seventeen-almost-eighteen, Albus falls in love!... with a budding fascist and future genocidal murderer. They plot to Take Over the World, but in a nice way maybe?
And then The Big Fight happens, Ariana dies too, Aberforth becomes estranged from him, Grindelwald leaves and his whole worldview gets upended. Rather than take some time to go to therapy, Albus spends the rest of his life overachieving to make up for what he did, never allowing himself the weakness of personal attachments... that is, until he finds himself having budding fatherly feelings for Harry. But since he didn't do any of that therapy stuff, he fucks up at a critical moment and chooses his long-dead family over said potential-son by putting on an old ugly ring, and then he dies to try and save the wizarding world with a convoluted plan that worked by miracle's light. The end.
God fucking damn it let them be happy: This is directed more at the fandom than it is at That Woman. Can y'all please write something nice about Albus and Harry for once instead of the same mustache-twirling manipulative fascist-fucking greater good garbage? I'm so sick of it lol.
I want to cradle them gently in my arms: I mean... Albus would not let me. He's almost allergic to intimacy. But if he would...
Go to FUCKING therapy: ...self-explanatory in my other answers. I am firm in my belief that if Albus had just gone to fucking therapy he would be alive today, searching google for funny Muggle cat videos and sending them to his hot old French boyfriend. And he and Harry would meet up for tea and biscuits every week because they would have long since sorted out all their issues and moved on to just loving each other. *sniff*
WHY Are They Like This: tru. I mean... I have a general idea of Why Albus Is The Way He Is, but it doesn't mean I don't still ask this question often. The fact that we got a whole movie called The Secrets of Dumbledore but we didn't learn any of Albus' important fucking secrets kind of supports my unhinged obsessed researching though.
I'm SO normal about them: ...*nervous laughter*
I would take a bullet for them: ...or, you know, I would if he wasn't dead already. But if we're talking about all the incorrect and unnecessary shots he takes from the fandom, then absolutely this applies.
LEAVE. THEM. ALONE!: seriously, fandom, holy shit. Don't y'all want to attack some people who have slid past morally gray territory and into "actual irredeemable monster" territory once in a while? You know, like some of those green-robed fellows you lust after?
Mommy Issues: oh, broooo. if Albus has daddy issues then he for sure has mommy issues too. Kendra Dumbledore shaped the majority of his life by virtue of being the only parent around in his formative years. All the things she taught him keep cropping up in his mannerisms and decisions even a hundred years later. Secrets, misdirection, hiding people and things and ideas away... draw a line back to his mum and you've solved half the puzzle.
Hey do you want to hear a ten hour speech about this character: because I don't like going outside, it would be more of a "five hour tumblr post" that's a billion paragraphs, but yeah. I can almost always find something new to talk about with Albus. ^^
And that's everything! Thanks and sorry it took me so long!
#thanks for the ask!#Albus Dumbledore#unhinged character bingo#bingo board#not fireandgold#dumbledore meta#the dumbledore family#Albus and his family
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What would happen if all of Voldemort’s love interests from your fics met up? I’d think Tom would try and kill them all but lmao 🤣 other than that?
Just because I love you, and for the Big Day tomorrow, I wrote this to amuse you!
Canon Voldemort
Voldemort frantically turns the pages of the eight book he read that night. His fingers had gone numb from all the notes he took, there’s ink all over them. But he can’t stop. He needs to find a way to send all these lunatics back to their dimensions.
Bella isn’t so bad, but she’s walking around claiming they have a daughter together, keeps trying to talk to him about the girl. Delphini. As if Voldemort would ever allow any progeny of his, however unlikely, to be called Delphini.
Then there’s Bella’s crazy cousin, with a dark mark on his arm that Voldemort did not put there. He looks hostile and destructive, and Voldemort is pretty sure he’s drunk. “Do you remember that time when you called me a big boy? What did you mean by that?” he slurs at Voldemort, speaking from behind a wall of smoke coming from his cigarette.
Abraxas Malfoy, pouting in a corner, with well manicured nails.
Grindelwald, who, for some reason, looks like a young man, calls Voldemort ‘liebling’, talks about returning to their cabin and eating strawberries.
Then there’s Potter. He mostly hides behind Dumbledore, but at some point he started drinking with his godfather, and when he was sufficiently inebriated, he showed Voldemort a wedding ring. “We’re married,” he hiccuped. “We’re raising our daughter together.”
And if *that* didn’t freak Voldemort out, well- Albus fucking Dumbledore, with a mane of red hair, gives him lust filled looks.
But nothing, nothing is as panic inducing as the young man that refuses to leave Voldemort’s side. Himself. His younger self. He calls Voldemort ‘Marvolo’ and he has a terrifying possessive look in his eyes.
Voldemort really needs to find a way to get rid of all these people, send them back from whatever hell spawned them. And he also needs to find the versions of himself, from all of these dimensions, that apparently get entangled with the worst partners ever.
Bella
Her poor lord looks stressed. He’s hiding behind his books, stacking heavy tomes atop the other, hunching behind them. Bella would like to go and talk to him, comfort him, but the boy- Tom- threatened to cut her open and eat her if she gets closer. She’d have laughed at anyone that dared say that to her, but this Tom seems to be her lord’s younger self, so she’s hesitant.
She’s certain she can charm him, too, if she has to. After all, if she charmed her lord, how hard could it be to get to this adolescent?
Her lord would pick her over all these other contenders, she’s certain. She’s his most loyal, and she gave him a daughter. She’s the only woman there, definitely the most attractive out of the bunch. Well, there’s Malfoy that looks almost as lovely as her, and then there’s Sirius- but Sirius seems confused as to why he’s there. He’s too drunk to make sense, anyway.
Bella will surely win her lord’s attention.
Abraxas
Tom looks more menacing than ever, standing at the side of the man that must be his future self. Abraxas tried to draw him away and ask him what in Merlin’s name was happening, but Tom told him to get lost. He called him ‘Abraxas’ instead of ‘Malfoy’, as if they’re friends, as if Abraxas hadn’t sucked his prick just the day before.
All these strange people are crammed together in a room, and Abraxas is getting uncomfortable. A blond man that looks suspiciously like a picture of Grindelwald he once saw in an old paper keeps giving him dirty looks.
Abraxas wants his father to come and get him out of there.
Gellert
His liebling is close to hysteria. The boy at his side looks more like the man Gellert is spending eternity with, but Gellert knows his true liebling is the older man taking notes, muttering curses and threatening to kill everyone. That’s the murderous, psychotic man he knows and loves, even if he’s lacking a nose. But his eyes are precious, red and sweet, like the strawberries they have back home.
Gellert will let him struggle with his books for a little while longer, and then he’ll go and show him the solution.
No one else can help him with this conundrum; he’ll value me above all others.
Well, there’s Albus there, looking quite handsome if Gellert is honest with himself. He could potentially have a solution for the predicament they find themselves in. But he looks so confused, talking with that Potter lad, so Gellert knows he has no competition.
Sirius
Sirius is never drinking again. Merlin, I promise, I swear I won’t ever drink or take muggle drugs ever again. This is the weirdest hallucination he’s ever had. Apparently, everyone there is Voldemort’s lover. Ridiculous. I don’t even like men! Well, not that much. He doesn’t think so, at least.
Voldemort somehow lost his nose, even if he was just fine the last time Sirius saw him.
There’s a boy that claims he’s James’ son; he does look like Prongs, and he has Lily’s eyes. Sirius thinks this new Potter has a crush on him, which just freaks him out.
Bella’s older, but just as hot as always. Sirius decides to go sit at her side, these other people are freaking him out, but his eyes keep getting distracted by Tom. Sirius once saw Tom in a picture, but Morgana’s tits, the picture didn’t do him justice.
He’s- well, he’s interesting, isn’t he? And he’s so furious, too, guarding noseless Voldemort from anyone that attempts to approach him.
Albus
Albus can’t believe he fell for a dark lord. Again. When the poor boy named Harry fills him in on everything, he feels incredibly betrayed.
Voldemort. What a stupid, ridiculous name. And the lies someone told this Harry- as if Albus would ever treat a child as badly as Voldemort claims he’d been treated. Outrageous!
And when Harry gets drunk, he accuses Albus of sending him to his death, just to get rid of Voldemort. The boy must be under a powerful confundus spell.
“Oh, no, he’s correct,” Gellert says, hearing Albus speaking to himself. “You turned out to be a terrible, patronising, manipulating arsehole.”
Albus tries to ignore him. He’s studied the room, and the runes inscribed in the corner seem to say that they can only get out of it when Voldemort chooses one of them as a partner.
And Albus really has to get out of there. He needs to make sure he learns all he can about this dark Lord Voldemort that pretended to be Tom Gaunt, and find a way to defeat him and stop him from terrorising the world.
Only there’s another Tom Gaunt at his side. A boy- no older than seventeen, maybe eighteen. There’s a hungry look in his eyes. He looks fierce, but he looks vulnerable, too.
Albus thinks there’s still hope for him. Albus plans to get out of that room with Tom and Harry, and try to look after them, protect them from Voldemort. Maybe the boys will be a good influence on each other.
Harry
Harry wants his Voldemort. He forgot how awful the original was. How insane. He hisses to himself, scribbling like crazy, promising death and torture to no one in particular.
He’s even ignoring Bellatrix, which his Voldemort would have never done.
Yet Harry’s having somewhat of a good time. In the back of his head he’s certain his Voldemort, urged by Delphini, will find a way to get him out of that room and deal with Original Voldemort. In the meantime, Harry finally gets to have some drinks with Sirius.
God, but he’s so hot.
And he feels a bit less guilty, seeing that even Sirius, in another dimension, had fallen pray to Voldemort’s manipulations.
“I am not fucking him, I swear!” Sirius protests. “Merlin’s balls, I don’t even like men! I just had a blowjob or two from some muggle men, but only because I was drunk!”
And there’s Dumbledore. Even Dumbledore fell in love with a version of Voldemort.
Really, I had no chance. Harry feels so much better now, conscience clean for once.
If Sirius is hot- well, then Tom Riddle is also hot. Though he insists his name is Tom Gaunt. Not that he talked to Harry- oh no, Sirius and Dumbledore had to stop this Tom Gaunt from killing Harry, as soon as they met and the confusion was over.
And Voldemort himself had to stop Tom from killing Bellatrix. He almost didn’t make it in time, Tom’s fingers around her throat, before Voldemort finally pulled him off her.
After another drink with Sirius, Harry decides to go over to Bellatrix and talk about Delphini.
Tom
“Can you stop touching me?” Marvolo asks, voice high and a little desperate. “I’m trying to focus!”
“I just wanted to make sure you’re alright,” Tom tells him, softly.
Marvolo hadn’t rested in a long time. Tom just wants to convince him to take a break and sleep.
“Sleep? Are you irrational? Sleep? With Dumbledore and Potter here? With Grindelwald?”
“I’d protect you,” Tom assures him. “No one would get past me.”
Marvolo looks at him. “We both know you’re the biggest threat out of all of them.”
Tom smiles. His Marvolo was always paranoid Tom will turn on him. But Tom would never.
Abraxas keeps trying to talk to him. Apparently they were lovers in his dimension. Tom shudders, internally. Though, really, Abraxas wouldn’t have been that bad. Not compared to Dumbledore. Or Grindelwald.
How is Tom supposed to kill these two?
He is sure he will make short work of Potter and Bellatrix. Abraxas, too. But Dumbledore and Grindelwald....
I’ll find a way. No one will take Marvolo away from me.
Sirius Black looks like his mother, only somehow better. He keeps eyeing Tom, now and again.
Maybe Tom could spare this one, keep him as a pet. Maybe he could fuck him, and pretend he’s Marvolo.
Tom smiles. Yes, he could do that. Just as soon as he gets some food into Marvolo, who looks like if he’d have hair, he would be ripping it off.
#Voldemort has to deal with his fanfic lovers#poor thing is scared#Harry and Sirius get drunk together
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